Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Talk Nerdy To Creativity with Jen Friel Episode 16
Episode Date: August 20, 2019Jen Friel is the Chief Revenue Officer of DropIn and has had mega producer Jerry Bruckheimer purchase her life story rights...twice! founded her first computer “company” at age 8, teaching adults ...how to use WordPerfect, Juno and Prodigy. Today, she is known for her website Talk Nerdy To Me, Lover and held various positions in movie marketing and indirect cellular activation sales. Jen opens up about how she discovered her ability as producer and being an internet OG before internet personalities were a thing! And thank you to today's sponsors: Great Courses Plus = Go to TheGreatCoursesPlus.com/CONFIDENCE to access their entire catalog for FREE for the entire month LinkedIn =Go to LinkedIn.com/Confidence to goet $50 off your first job post Pluto TV = Cut the cable cord and download PlutoTV on your streaming devices Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this link and when you DM me the screenshot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! My book Confidence Creator is available now ! If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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After you see me, I'm on this journey with me.
I am welcome back to creating confidence.
I'm so happy that you're here with me today.
I really appreciate you sticking with me on this journey.
It sure is eventful. So this week
I turned 45, which that's not a big birthday in my mind anyway. So it's fine. You know,
some people have hard times with birthdays or certain birthdays are tough for me. This
is just a normal birthday. And for me on birthdays, I like to reflect upon the
last year, talk about, you know, and look into what I'm really proud of, what would I have
done differently, you know, what am I aspiring to for the next year, and really garner a sense
of where was I and where I am now. And I'm super proud of what I've done within my work
and I've accomplished a lot in the past year.
I work really hard and I take massive action
and that's how I get it done.
Some of the highlights are launching this show.
Woo, woo, woo, I'm so proud and excited
and the show going to the top 200 charts on Apple Podcast
and new and noteworthy and some of the amazing
guests from Gary Vaynerchuk to Ryan Surhan to Jesse Itzler and so many more. So it's been
staff part is so exciting and really has caused me to up level my game surrounding myself
with people who are further along than I am, really has helped me to see that there is greater potential out there for me, for you, for all of us to go after.
So that's been huge teaching a class at Harvard in the past year was a major highlight. I had always held Harvard on a pedestal, and I've learned, you know, to take things and people off of pedestals because we all deserve to be unequal footing.
And what I learned from that experience was my unique attributes are valuable to others that might not have them.
So these students have never sold or led sales teams or managed millions of dollars in revenue I have. And so it was so cool to be able to bring
my expertise, my experience to them and teach them about sales and real life
situations instead of just textbook which they had been mastering. So it was
kind of cool to see that you can really bring value in in almost any situation
if you show up as your authentic self and share those stories, which is what I
did and I was so I'm still so excited. I got to be a teacher at Harvard. Okay.
So I was recently picked up by BigSpeak, another speaker bureau.
And I've just been blown away. I had an amazing meeting with APB speakers the other day.
I'm meeting with them again in Boston when I'm out there for hyper
growth. So, you know, I've really jumped into this new world, new business and I'm finding my way.
It is not easy. I take a lot of action. I reach out to so many people and pitch myself all the time.
But obviously, success was easy. Everyone would have it. I work my connections, my network. I'm on social media DMing people and I'm really I work hard to showcase my value and my expertise
and my experience in a way that can help others do the same for them. So whenever
you bring value to others, people are typically more interested in hearing
what you have to say and interacting with you, which has been really helpful.
And as I always say, LinkedIn has just been massive for my business and for me.
And I really encourage everyone to be on there that there's just, it's unlimited potential
on LinkedIn.
Okay.
So for some other highlights in the past year from 44 to 45. Oh, my son graduated from elementary school,
which was huge and he started middle school two days ago.
And I'm so proud of him, he loves it.
And it's such a, it's a much bigger school
with high school kids.
And there was definitely a bit of fear and trepidation
and excitement, but he really leaned into the excitement part.
And he's been loving it the past few days.
So hopefully this will continue because this is like the biggest win,
because it was a major leap for him to go from a very small elementary
to a really large middle school.
So that's going well and that definitely encourages me watching him succeed,
watching him jump into fear, even though as adults,
it might not seem like much,
I know and I remember that things like going from a small school to a huge one can be intimidating,
and I'm just I'm so proud of him. Okay, oh, I landed my first TEDx talk from the time 44 to 45.
That was a big initiative for me, and I'm so grateful for my friend Cindy Mezzler that helped me to make this happen.
Now the TED Talk is coming October 26 so we're only a couple months out and I'm working
actually on the outline right now. So there's a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes that people
don't see. In the past year I was on the Steve Harvey show, the Hallmark channel KTL ATV.
I'll tell you getting on the Steve Harvey show that was a year in the making. I was on the Steve Harvey show, the Hallmark channel, KTL ATV. I'll tell you,
getting on that Steve Harvey show, that was a year in the making. I mean, some of these things
that people see on social or see wherever, and they think it just happened, I'm here to tell you,
it doesn't. There's so much groundwork that goes on in the majority of these situations.
Sometimes there is luck or, you know, great timing, but other times it's a lot of follow-up and follow-up
and trying to get someone's attention and separate yourself and not giving up, never giving
up.
So, the past year has really been amazing in so many unbelievable ways.
I'm so grateful and I'm looking forward to this next year and you know
where do I go from here and what are those next major leaps that I can go after. I'm still chasing
down Reese Witherspoon. My book confidence creator needs to become a movie. It's gotta happen.
I'm really leaning into the speaking portion of my business. It's definitely my superpower.
I feel so fired up when I'm doing it. The feedback is phenomenal.
And I'm really, I'm just, I'm owning this for this year, for my year 45 to 46. I'm blowing this
thing up and I'm so excited about it. And there's also, like anything, it's not all good, right?
For sure, it's not all good. As I've mentioned, my parents got divorced,
and my mother remarried someone that I haven't even met,
and it's been a crazy year thus far in 2019.
And in other news, I noticed that the most Googled thing
about me is Heather Monahan Fiancé.
So this is a difficult topic for me because it's very recent and I haven't
talked about it and the past two months have been very hard on me personally because I am no longer
engaged in that has been a long time coming. I was engaged for over two years and the last year
has really been a tough one.
And again, I'm talking about I'm separating business and personal and all this is definitely
about my personal life.
But ultimately really, I mean, there's not too much to say other than it's been very hard.
The past two months have been very, very hard.
And in many ways, this was not an easy decision to make
because you don't get engaged to someone
anticipating that you're going to split up,
just like you don't get married anticipating,
you're gonna get divorced.
So when you come to a place that you're gonna make
that decision, it's in many ways very hard.
In some ways, it's not so hard.
And by that, I mean, after two years of being engaged still not living
together still not having discussions about a wedding to me I mean that's a major red flag right
so you can see a red flag waving for a while and try to ignore it which is what I was doing I was
trying to ignore it because familiar really can be comfortable.
And at some point, enough signs went off to me that said, Heather, you can't ignore this anymore.
And in a funny, not ha ha funny, but in a strange way, I was driving my son to a practice and I was in a car so much one week this was in the summer.
And I had a lot of time alone by myself with my
thoughts, not able to distract myself with work or whatever and I was thinking a
lot and in that time I was driving, I realized in many ways I was in a similar
situation when I was comfortable at that job that I was in for 14 years in
corporate America and I was safe with that paycheck, but I wasn't
happy and I wasn't fulfilled and I wasn't living to my potential and I wasn't growing and I just
realized in some ways I had been doing the same exact thing in this situation and I was trying to ignore something for fear of having to go out and start all over again and
leave
safe and familiar and and how
scary that is and who wants to be single at
45 I certainly didn't you know and
it was this
tug back and forth of
I'm not happy, I'm still alone, even though I'm
supposedly in a relationship, I'm supposedly engaged, I'm alone all of the
time with my son, and that vision that I had had for my life and my future is
having a loving family and not being alone and living together with joy, and
I'm so happy with my son. I'm so grateful for him.
However, I know he wants that too.
And he doesn't like that he always is alone with just me.
And I'm sure there's sometimes he does like it,
but there are times where he says, oh, let's go meet up
with some other people.
And it's tough being a single mom for anyone
that's single out there with a child. There are moments where it's tough being a single mom for anyone that's single out there with a child,
you know, it's, there are moments where it's tough, like this year, Mother's Day, we had
planned a dinner with all my friends and their husbands and, you know, it ends it up just
being me and my son at that dinner.
And it was, in my eyes, it was so hard to sit there knowing my son sees that too.
And it's just, it was so hard to sit there knowing my son sees that too and it's just
It's it was very hard. So
It really you know ultimately having my son ask me mom when are we gonna live together like a family mom When are you gonna be married? It's been a really long time and and realizing it's not something I can just ignore anymore
Even though I wanted to because I was so scared to do it and it's not
Again, it's not been easy. So I appreciate your support. I appreciate
You know, you're continuing to support me and encourage me because the past two months have been
really
really difficult in trying and scary
And hard and it was funny for the first time in a long time when I was in my 20s
when I would get stressed out I would break out in a rash and that happens to me for the first time
and I don't even know maybe like 20 years and finding myself short of breath because I just stressed out
so I've really had to work on my breathing letting go of fear stepping into fear
work on my breathing, letting go of fear, stepping into fear, remembering that fear is a green light, and trying to relate this in some ways back to when I got fired. And that part strangely has
actually helped me because I built a 30 day plan and I lowered expectations on myself and I started
writing down positive things that were happening for me. And I also, and I learned this from Amy Moore, who was on the show recently, I used to just
make myself so busy with work.
So I could ignore whatever it was that was happening in my life.
And this time I took her advice and I kind of stepped into the sadness and the past two
months, I really tried to sit with the sadness and
I'm hoping you know she is a doctor and she told me that that would really help so I'm hoping that this will help me move through the sadness and
move on to my potential and the vision that I have for my life and my future and I'm hoping the same for you
So whatever it is that you're
dealing with, no, you are not alone and no, everyone doesn't see everything that's happening
in anyone's life on social media or elsewhere. So, okay. Now today I'm so excited for you
to meet my guest. Of course, another amazing guest. But before we get to that, you know I'm
a LinkedIn girl. I've got to jump right into this because hiring is not easy and there's so many options
out there for when you want to hire someone.
In the old days, it was put in the paper or run an ad on radio.
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LinkedIn is my space.
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Hi and welcome back! I'm really excited for you to meet my next guest, Jen Friel. She's
Chief Marketing Officer for Drop-in Inc and is better known for her website Talk Nurti to me,
Leva, where she documented crashing the 2010 Grammy Awards,
very bossy, dancing on stage with Prince Epic,
accidentally, like this accidentally,
going out on over 103 dates and nine months,
we're gonna have to dig into that.
And bartering social media to live for a year,
getting to 12 states with $10 to her name,
this is insane,
Friile's blog has been previously optioned twice by Jerry Bruckettheimer.
I hope I said that correctly. And was purchased by CBS in a four-way bidding war
between ABC, NBC, and Fox. She's also appeared as an entrepreneur on CNBC,
the West Texas Investors Club, alongside her new business partners,
Rooster McConaughey. Again, I'm buting these, and Butch Gilman and Gil Prather.
So, wow, that is very, very impressive.
Thank you for being here today.
Thank you so much for having me.
I really appreciate it.
Okay, so let's get, first of all, we need to get into so many different things here.
Let's start with how we got connected.
Oh, yeah.
So it was, it was great.
Actually, I got about three weeks to a month ago.
I called called Jerry Brockheimer to kind of represent what I had done with talk nerdy
to me.
So it sold in a four-way bidding war previously as a pilot.
But in the pilot season of 2016, less moon v's past and picked the great indoors instead
of talk nerdy to me. So it was actually kind of a blessing in disguise. I just didn't
know it at the time. So I got my life rights, trade marks, and intellectual
property back. So, first, I don't, your life right? Yeah, the, the rights to my
life story. That's insane. I mean, it, you're essentially selling that you'll
never do anything else with your own life. No, it's, and this is how my attorney
explained it to me.
So basically, it's everything up until that point.
Because you can't really predict what's going to happen in the future.
So that's why when Talkner to Me was first being developed and whatnot,
one, I was living on an island in island Maraud in the Florida Keys.
So I had zero involvement in it.
And then two, I actually started a second blog because I'm a writer till I die.
So the last my last day on Earth will be with a nice bottle of wine, my dog and or maybe
spouse and my blog. I like that you're predicting that.
Yeah, you know, it's just, that's how it's going to be. And so, um, and so yeah, so it was
really important for me to still continue the craft and still continue writing. And, um,
but when I, when I went to redevelop it, everyone kept pushing for me to do it. And I've,
you, you can't as a writer just like decide to like write television.
So I got really lucky.
I met this wonderful woman named Heather Rutman, who's so badass and got such an amazing tone to her and SAS.
And she's already had a successful show.
So we worked on it.
And so I, I don't know why this didn't occur to me previously.
I don't have representation.
I only have an attorney, but I was just sitting there going like, why don't I just pick up the phone and call Brakeheimer?
I was like, he gave me two checks.
I was like, why haven't I called him?
And so I literally the next day picked up.
Because maybe most people are intimidated.
But yeah, at the point, it's not that I'm not,
I don't view fear, I guess, in the same way that most people do.
And I've actually only discovered that very recently,
because people, I was surprised, actually,
I know we were talking on our way in about your views on LinkedIn, I was actually super
surprised about how many views that that post got because to me it wasn't about
like any sort of fear or intimidation, it was I was so proud of what we
packaged, I'm so proud to put my name on it and it was just like well why didn't
this occur to me previously, so it was it was amazing and then in the weeks after
those kind of crazy because you know right after you do it was it was amazing and then in the weeks after though it was kind of crazy
because you know right after you do it then it sinks in what I what I just did that you know he said
you know I'll read your script and I'm like I'm a first-time producer like I'm representing something
that you know these people purchase previously and I'm like so I was basically sick to my stomach
for about two days after that and then but it was because, you know, in 7,500 blog posts,
I've never once felt really vulnerable in terms of my writing
because it's always been matter of fact.
And this is what I'm saying.
And for the first time, I was so vulnerable.
And it was really beautiful, even though it's technically
not my writing, because it was, you know,
through this other writer.
But I just know the impact of the story
and how kind of cool it is.
And I'm really proud of it.
So that's how we got connected.
It was through that LinkedIn post.
And through that gentleman who is like the story is so cool, I really want to help you.
And so thank you, Daniel, wherever you are if you're listening, I'm very appreciative.
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It's such social media such a crazy phenomenon because you created the content which obviously
started a domino effect.
This gentleman connected you and I because he thought you'd be a great fit for my show
and just out of wanting to connect people, he wanted nothing in return.
Literally nothing in return.
I'm trying to give him something in return.
So Daniel, please let me help you.
Oh, yeah.
It's amazing.
He's just out there doing good.
And as you said, it's not just with me.
He's connected you to a number of things.
He felt so compelled and driven around your message.
Which is so cool.
And I think that's what is so great about this kind of life
experience too is the script happens to be about when I was I called myself
a DIY dom do it yourself dom in atrix my sparkly shoes that I'm wearing right
now we're actually a gift from a slave so it was about it's very true and I love
when people ask me that they comment on the shoes and I'm like oh air from my
slave and like they don't know what's like a
respond of it makes me laugh every time because I'm so twisted.
But it was really about kind of going from that shy feeling powerless in terms of being
a nerd and always being really smart, but not really understanding the social components
of it and not understanding how to use intelligence to better myself truly.
So yeah, so I just remember reading the script for the last time, just being like,
with such a smile on my face, I was like, this is it. If it sells great, if it doesn't, okay,
cool, but I at least know that this is the story that I want people to hear. But you ended up
with a bidding war. Ended up with a bidding war. Yeah, it was really lucky. It was actually sold,
again, I was on an island when it happened, but Brockheimer optioned my life rights trademarks
in intellectual property twice. And then I had kind of done this before,
previously with Mary Parent, who's amazing,
and had been taken general after general,
which I don't know if your audience is familiar,
but that's when you literally just take general meetings
with any sort of producer, show runner,
any sort of entertainment exec to see
if they wanna develop something around you.
So I'd spent years just getting my hopes up.
So I showed at MTV, never made air.
So the show to the history channel, never made air.
So I had at least quote-unquote successes,
but it didn't really feel that way to me
because I was just kind of like, OK, well,
I just don't understand what's going to happen.
Where's this going next?
What's going on?
And so there I was on this island, not even thinking about it,
as crazy as that sounds, not even knowing
that the pilot was even up for any sort of
Consideration I was at a celebration of life and that's when I found out that it sold to NBC at first and I was just like I started crying
So hysterically and I'm at the so awkward. I'm at the celebration of life
And I'm like this doesn't need to be about me right now
I was about for my ex-boyfriends father and but I was there to help him and even though we had already broken up
I was there to help the family and so they were they were over the moon
So we turned it into a celebration actually and
As strange as all that life experience was so there was a tremendous amount of failure that led up to your success
Yeah, but I think that's the point
I think most people sit there and view it as failure and probably like judge themselves for it
And I just view everything is like oh wow, okay, so now I know how to negotiate this better
Okay, well now I know that from this life experience, okay,
great, you know, make sure I befriend all the entertainment executives or whatever
that means, like I take from everything one skill set. So it's why my life seems so
random, but it kind of makes sense for me because I take one element or one thing
and then I just kind of combine it all together and then use that for whatever I'm
doing moving forward. I don't beat myself up when I quote unquote fail
because it's not a failure.
That's so confident, that's so right on.
I mean, that's like, you know, exactly what we all want to do.
I wish I was like that because unfortunately,
I'm not, I definitely beat myself up.
So I need to figure that,
how do you know to do that,
or how are you able to be disciplined
and continually doing it? I mean, I think it's exactly that. That's a good point. It's the discipline because I wasn't always that way for sure.
I just think by writing and documenting so much of my life for so long. I mean, I talked about how I had an affair with a married man.
I talked about every bad date on the planet. It wasn't just, hey, I'm cute. I'm in LA, I call myself a nerd, let's do this.
Like, no, I walked the walk and talked the talk
and built everything myself.
And so again, it's not just the good, the bad,
the ugly, it's everything.
And I think that's now that level of discipline
has sort of brought me into this next space.
I'm like, if I were my six year old self,
I wouldn't berate me for doing something wrong.
Like I would say, okay, well, what did you learn?
You know, what would you do differently next time?
And then maybe go out with my friends
to have some fun and shake it off,
and then you just move on.
But instead, like telling yourself that narrative
then brings it into the future and your present,
and then that ends up becoming whatever your next step is.
You're bringing that failure with you.
Failure doesn't belong to you.
It's baggage.
But you have to accept that it occurred.
So what I take away from that is, you know, is this working for you? If you're beating yourself up all the time,
you know, from your failures and feeling really low, is that working? No. This is what I say to myself.
Anyways, as I say, this doesn't seem to be working for me. Why don't I try the opposite way, which is, you know,
hey, okay, we got to pick ourselves back up and And this time, we're going to do it differently.
And this time, it's going to work or, you know, whatever self-talk.
But you used a good example, which is talking to your younger self.
Yep.
So I always say, for me, it's talking to my son.
I would never, my son lost the race for president this year in school.
No, it's okay.
One every year leading up to this.
So you've got to face some failure.
And what he learned was when he went home,
he felt really bad about himself,
because he had anticipated winning.
And I thought that was cool.
I'm like, you should anticipate winning,
because we want to manifest that future
and vision we have for ourselves.
However, we can say, okay, it didn't work out.
But you know what,
I'm sure there's something else that's gonna happen this year
that'll be great.
And he said, well, I can play basketball more now.
You know, so it's like, I think just like,
putting that to work for you,
treating it as the way you would have a conversation with a child is really helpful.
Absolutely. And recently, one of the, uh, the impetus of actually even calling
Brockheimer was, uh, we, the writer has representation and, or technically she did,
but the, uh, A-T-A and W-G-A split meant that, um, all the writers had to fire their, their agents.
So, yeah, so here, here I am, the first time actually taking out a pilot,
like sitting in the room, we have interest, this is not the other thing,
and I'm just sitting there going, like, are you kidding me?
Like, I've come this far.
Like, nothing, and no one is going to take this away from me,
developing that pilot while having a start up and doing all the other things,
is like, I don't even know how it got done so quickly,
even though 19 months seems like it's forever, when I said that to people, they're like,
how did you give us a full script in 19 months? But that's how hard I was working. And so when it
happened, I was just like, I was angry and confused and like, well, how long is this going to last?
And this sat in the other thing. And so I literally want to do a stage where I was like self-care.
So I take one day to spend my pool. I, you know, stopped going to the gym for a bit. I was like, why, why did I do that? Let's, let's reamp and
get unlimited memberships. And I'm going to be angry at how many spin classes I'm taking.
I just keep going with it. And, uh, and it was just amazing because with that, just came
this extreme clarity of exactly what my next step was. So I feel like even depression
similar failure is like it, it's, it means that you need to go in a bit of like recovery
And I don't view it as something negative
I don't view it as like this big boss battle that I have to fight because I'm a failure
It's like no, I just I've been going through some stuff and I just need to catch my breath
It's like you know when you work out and your muscles are recovering. It's the same thing, but it's for your head
It's such a good analogy. I think you would agree with me that being right is so satisfying.
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You will definitely thank me for this one.
So you're a really creative person.
How do you tap into that creativity?
Because I think a lot of people myself included
will sometimes put ourselves in that lane
that, oh, I'm not creative, I don't have that within me.
Yeah, I don't know, I'm really weird.
I've just always been, like seriously,
I was 18 months old, talking like a four year old,
so my parents put me in school super early.
Like when I was in sixth grade, my mom got me print shop,
I just posted this on Facebook actually.
My parents got me print shop, I begged them for it,
and my first instinct was to create
arrest posters for them.
You know, wanted for child abuse
with pictures of my parents.
And like, it's really, it's like wanted dead or alive,
whichever comes first, but it's like super perky bright yellow.
Like, I don't know, I'm just a weird person.
And like, my creativity comes out in like costumes, for example.
Like, I love going like all out in terms of costumes
and like adopting characters.
And then that helps me with writing and it's just kind of all fuels into it.
And in terms of tapping into it directly, you have to create that discipline.
So for talk nerdy for over about seven years, we averaged five blog posts today.
So that's how so many of them are on there.
I managed 75 writers.
So it was intense and like I wouldn't go anything more than like less than 24 hours without either
publishing a tweet, being active in social media, or having a blog post. And
then if I wasn't, people would be like, we're issue, what's going on. So that's how
devoted I was to what I was building. And now I definitely have a different
perspective in terms of balance, but it gave me that creative discipline to
now like at any moment be able to write because that's I can go in a headspace of putting on headphones,
being in a zone, sitting really awkwardly in my chair
because that's how I like to write
and just hammering it out.
But it's discipline.
To get in that zone is the best feeling
that when you're able to get there
that's such a phenomenal feeling.
And I do believe everyone has creativity
in that uniqueness within them.
It's just tapping into it and taking the time, like you said,
really becoming disciplined about it to discover it.
That's really amazing.
So your life is so bizarre.
We ended up on a phone call together, I guess a month ago.
And I'd love for you to share that story where you were and what happened.
So I was obviously, I've lived in LA.
I was here for almost 10 years. I was on the island for two and a half. I've been back for almost four. So yeah, as a Los Angeles, you know, I can honestly say I did not expect to be an Amish country.
But I was in Amish country. I just hung out at the coolest petting zoo I've ever been to. It's called Dutch Country Creek petting zoo. so look it up on yelp if you ever get a chance because you're in Indiana and Amish country
I don't even know there was an Amish country in Indiana, but there is and
And so I was at this mechic in restaurant. I was there for for my startup drop-in
So we do use live video for automotive insurance industries
So we were meeting with a big RV dealer out there for onboarding of course
You do like that all leads together
All of us all of this makes perfect sense obviously obviously. And so I was with my colleague Heather
and we just wanted to go out for dinner
and I was like, let's go.
There was a big billboard for Margarita
as at the specs in restaurants.
I was like, let's just go there, we'll figure it out
and kind of find something fun to do.
And so we're sitting there
and the waitress comes up and she goes,
it's about to get wild in here.
And we just kind of looked over
and I just saw all the buggies pulling up.
And I couldn't tell if she was like being serious with like the whole getting wild things so like I tweeted that out
and there I was having dinner with 18 different Amish people they were at the table directly next to
us and then I had a timer on my phone for our phone call so I was like Heather I was like you know
help you right back I just got to go take this call so then we were on the phone for no less than
two minutes when I got a call from the executive I was dealing with at Jerry Brockheimer's company.
So I literally looked down at the phone and I saw his name and I'm just like, I'm so
sorry to do this, I have to go.
And there I had one of the coolest phone calls of my life.
So but it happened personally and normally in Hollywood, you know, once you introduce
an attorney because when I submitted the script, it had to go through an attorney.
There was like a legal process behind it. So I just assumed I would hear from my attorney.
I did not expect to receive a personal phone call. And so to say I was over the moon is an understatement.
And just randomly you were an Amish country. I mean, the whole thing is so bizarre.
But that was the funniest thing is that one, obviously you can't make this up.
But then I'm like trying to not be rude to either of you or to him because I was just like he's like hey how are you how are
things going I was like I'm in a mesh country right now and like you don't want to like announce it
because I don't want to like offend these 18 other Amish people that look like a totally
kick my butt if they ever so wanted to and so yeah so it just it added to kind of the insanity
of this story and
just how cool it is that, you know, I think I can plan things to a certain degree, but
I really can't. And so it's my job to just keep going in whatever it is that I'm doing
and know that in my heart, as long as I'm pushing and putting myself out there, it comes
back to you.
When you were a little kid, what did you think you were going to be when you grew up?
I wanted to work. Uh, well well I started typing when I was two,
I had my first computer company when I was eight,
so I knew I could be like in tech.
Yeah, what failed at Lemonade stands,
I've always been an entrepreneur.
I used to look at my mom's earrings and like,
take paper clips and unfold them and then make drawings on them,
so they looked like these little earrings,
and I would try and sell them for like five dollars
or something insane, not really understanding that.
That was a lot for that.
And so yeah, I just always kind of bend this person.
My mom's an entrepreneur, my father's an attorney.
And but I always loved entertainment as well.
I wanted to be Kelly Kepowski from Save by the Bell.
So, but there wasn't really, I didn't know what the term producer was.
I had done a lot of high school plays.
I had written some and directed some in smaller things in class.
But I didn't understand that I was a natural born producer and sort of director that it's
like the combination of people skills and having a creative vision and knowing how to get
stuff done.
So there wasn't really a term for, I guess, for my understanding that when I was younger,
but now it's so cool watching tech and media just blend and to have a background in it
when starting in 2007 is insane. I work for one of the founders of MySpace I launched
his startup. So I was like literally been an OG since you know I didn't even know
what subscribers were and I had 600,000 of them. So it's like it's crazy but you
don't understand what's happening because I didn't have a way to like
quantify what these views were. I remember one video I published right out the
gate within like two minutes, had over 5,000 views and I was so confused by that. I called those like I think there's something
wrong with like your back end. And your video is just doing very well. I was like so kind of
fascinated by it. So it's been great but I'm an engineer in my heart and I like to build things.
So I do that creatively and that's kind of part of the fun for me. You are so unique. It's what I
will tell you.
Thank you.
You totally are and you own it, which is why I think you become so successful the more
you step into who you really are and you know whatever that is, quirkiness or anything
that makes you that much greater.
But and that's the point too.
It's and thank you, thank you for that first and foremost, but I feel like that's kind
of the coolest part too is learning to you you know, when I was younger, for example, when I would go out on dates with guys, I would
hide my intelligence, because they just wanted like the super cute chick. And then I was like,
then that didn't get me very far. It got me a great, a great, great first boyfriend,
but I'd sit there and want to talk tech, and that was right when social media was happening,
and he's like, just not into it. So I was like, okay, change it. So I've constantly just
been, you know, evolving as a person, and, know, it's weird because once you dilute aspects of yourself, you don't always know that you're diluting them. So it's been like a decade of
it's like discovery of like, of course, I'm going to wear costumes on a Saturday just to walk into a bar because why not? I'm not even doing it for attention. I don't care for any of that. I do it just because I like kind of the social element of messing with people and it's fun and then you almost guilt people into not being in costumes. So it's such a weird,
but I'm like this is just who I am. This is what I like to do and so it works for me but now there's
such a insane level of confidence and fulfillment and and an also too extreme gratitude not like in
the hashtag blessed way but like I wouldn't be here literally if it weren't for Daniel and I wouldn't
be here literally if it weren't for all these amazing people
that have helped me along the way.
But you also put yourself out there
and that's how you meet and connect to these people
because I'll hear a lot of times from people,
oh, she's just lucky or whatever,
people come up with their reasons why someone gets success.
No, you cold call these people.
You create content, you're extremely vulnerable.
You take chances knowing haters
can come, knowing there's going to be, you know, fingers pointing at you, and other people
that are sitting in their safe little room at home, you know, they're not taking those
chances, and that's how you create the opportunity.
Let's see, that's the point in coming back to what we're saying earlier in terms of failure,
staying in that safe space, staying in that, you know, that zone, whatever that is for
you, whether that's literally like a room in your house or whatever that means, that's failure.
Not, not doing something, not taking any sort of action. And even if the action is, is, hey, I need some rest today. Okay, well then you're at least getting rest so that you're gonna be better the next day.
You know what I mean? That, that, that, in that lack of, just any sort of motion or movement or anything like that, that's what failure is.
But then it's hilarious because if you stay in the same place for too long your body
will just liquefy into the chair.
So you're really like, there's no like, yeah, either way, it depends upon how you look at
it.
So when in your life, when you look back across your entire life, when was the moment that
you felt your least confident?
Oh, that's such a good question.
When was the moment that I felt the least confident?
Oh, actually, it was when I got everything that I thought that I wanted.
So, um, this was super interesting. So when I started talking nerdy,
I had no idea that I was gonna be this like crazy adventure person, and I didn't know about influencer marketing.
Obviously there was no term for it, but I had been a model, uh, and had done, uh, you know, obviously working with live video.
So I was like, okay, great.
I'm just gonna combine those elements and like wear clothing and I was part of the fiesta move.
It's a Ford Gamiacar. And so I just had all these like different kind of steps along the
way. But I was always just like in the back of my head like at any given moment, I'll just
get a job and this will be my resume. Like I didn't necessarily mean for it to turn
into something bigger, but I saw that it was and I was like, okay, this is cool. It's a
little weird, but let's just go for it and keep going. And, but then I got everything I wanted.
I was really focused on getting something
to trend organically on Twitter,
because it was like $250,000 at the time
to like pay for like a sponsored, you know, promotion.
And I was like, well, I wonder what their algorithm is
and I'm always testing things.
Come to find out they actually don't have an algorithm,
it's a manual push out.
But I thought that that was actually really cool.
So I was working with this company called IOLA, which is now owned by WeWork, and they
were hosting me Tech for Obama event.
So I got pulled in to run the social media for it.
And so not only that evening, I become top influencer.
We trended organically on Twitter.
We had 1.28 million impressions.
My account alone had like 357,000 of those.
Something crazy was just insane.
It was awesome, but it totally worked.
And it was great.
I got to meet Sharon Lawrence.
I was back at Hill Harper's House.
Like everybody thought this was just such an epic win.
And then I was taking a city bus at the time
because I was still bartering.
And so on my way home, I like called this guy
that I was interested in.
And he just, he couldn't get together.
Then I went to go over and play Street Fighter over at the Surley Goat on a Santa Monica Boulevard and
the machine was shut down and I was just like this is it. This is like the
greatest night of my life. I executed my goal. Like I love Sharon Lawrence. I'm
obsessed with her. So getting to meet her and for her to be like you should
monetize your eggs. You were bred to barter with such an interesting thing to say.
But I loved her for it. She just saw my brain.
She's like, you can monetize your eggs and like make a lot of money doing that.
I was like, I think I'm okay.
Thank you.
I took it as a very high compliment.
And so there it was.
And you know, watching all this come to life and then not having anyone to share it
with was like, well, why am I doing all of this?
What am I doing this for?
If it's not for me at the end of the day,
it's like I sort of started to play into my own character
that I didn't know I was creating.
And I had to check back in with my own self.
And so for six months, I went through
yet another depression because I was like,
what am I doing this for?
What am I doing this for?
Why am I here?
And then Oprah's love ambassador hired me
to market the search that she was doing
for this particular gentleman.
And I wound up costing myself the job because we fell in love.
And so he had to live in an income tax-free state.
So I goasted my blog, I goasted Los Angeles, and I moved to an island.
You should know what that means already.
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Wow.
Because I did, I was like, then I executed my goal. If all of this was for, you know, finding someone, which was hugely part of this.
I created the hashtag Nerds Unite because I wanted to, like, unite nerds meet, meet
up with people and obviously dating with something I was so bad at that I just wanted to
get better and wanted to improve myself. So I viewed it as I've executed my goal. I'm
good. And so I had, you know, the book deals, the, you know, countless people, TV shows, like all that. And I still
entertained it for a bit. I'm not stupid, but it was just, it just wasn't me. And I would
sit in those meetings, talking about stuff I did years ago. And I was just like, it's just
isn't me right now. And I needed to focus on what it felt like to jump off a roof into
a canal, like go fishing. I love to fish, you know?
And just kind of afraid during that,
because to me, what I'm thinking,
I put myself in your shoes,
I would be afraid that opportunity wouldn't be there
when I came back.
This is how I live my life.
It's, yeah, I might have felt like,
wow, I would like to go take a break right now,
but I would be driven by fear that what if I can't,
somebody takes my spot or I can't get back
to that meeting again.
See, and that probably would have been the logical thing and you're 100% right?
And I'm sure that's probably why I'm so weird and different.
I've viewed it as if myself isn't complete, if I don't feel that level of fulfillment,
then I'm being a caricature of who I actually am.
So I'm actually doing it as a disservice to myself.
It was utterly insane and I knew what I was doing.
I was like, who ghosts a blog? And mind you, we had broken up at this point, the gentleman and I, and I stayed on
the island. I got my own place. I'm standing there in my kitchen and I get an email, not even a call
for my agent. It's a good email. I love that because now I can like, screenshot everything and
they're amazing. I'm so lucky. But like, I get this email saying, hey Jen, you know, any plans for
Fourth of July hadn't talked to them in like six months or however long it had been. And walked away, you know, the bookteels that they were working on and this sat in the other thing and I was just like,
they're like, yeah, is your blog for sale by any chance?
Because Warner Brothers and Jerry Brookheimer were like to option it and you're just like crying in your kitchen over a broken heart
then reading this going like dramatically, she is actually exist in life and that was one of the first things that I said after I called called the executive that I spoke to. I said to him, I said,
you know, first of all, thank you for changing my life. Because no matter what, I
can walk into a room and say, Jerry Brockheimer about my life right. So that's
like already winning. But I said, uh, there really is. And I was like, and thank you
for like allowing me to understand that dramatic cliches exist in life. That I
feel like not that I was looking for a reward, but by focusing on myself and
focusing more on who I really was and how I was looking for a reward, but by focusing on myself and focusing more
on who I really was and how that was evolving,
was so important at that time.
And I feel like that's why the universe, you know,
potentially said, oh, hey, you're doing this,
you're at this place now, now you're actually ready
to receive this.
Because before I was so, I was so in my own head.
And like, I was on an island with 4,000 people.
So I couldn't talk about tech, I couldn't talk
about pop culture. I had to learn who I was as a person with 4,000 people, so I couldn't talk about tech, I couldn't talk about pop culture.
I had to learn who I was as a person, not a persona.
And so I needed just like a beat to collect myself, but then it was so hilarious because it was even better than what I had on the table previously, without even realizing it.
And so you can't, as I'm saying, you can't plan certain things in life, but I know to follow that like guiding force in my gut, even when my stomach's upset,
that's not that's actually when I know I'm doing something really scary because I literally
get sick to my stomach. And, uh, and it just all kind of happened from there, but it's been really
cool because I've been so honest when people are like, well, what what happened with the first pilot?
And I'm like, I had zero involvement. I was on an island. And then they're like, wait, what?
It's amazing that you walked away, but I like what you said because you walked away, you were really able to find yourself and your intuition and your everything.
You're being and in that moment is when the real opportunity came you had to go through that to get that.
Absolutely. And it was just so awesome too because I built an app when I was on the island. It was just a glorified proof of concept, but I saw the way that people received information was still through a newspaper every Wednesday and I was like, I want to help my community.
Like I didn't know I was such a community person until I lived in such an insanely small
town and saw how fulfilling and rewarding that was.
So I was like, I'm going to help them.
And I wound up pitching it on a CNBC show.
I got the investment and then I sold it.
And some really lucky with that, but it's just been a whole series of things that now
with, you know, a background technically with a tech exit under my belt, and now working with a startup,
that change is kind of the conversation in terms of what I'm able to bring to the table
now, that it's not just necessarily, here's my script, it's like, oh no, this is what I've
been working on, this is what I'm doing, here are the ways that this is changing, whether
storytelling or whatever, it's always something weird and random, but now I'm more of a rounded
individual that I'm bringing that to the table
But I had to do that myself. I couldn't I couldn't have someone tell me. Oh, I needed to go and do this
I needed to figure out what that meant for me and then bring it back
So where is this adventure going next? I have no idea
Actually, it's so funny. I'm taking a vacation next week, which I'm very excited about
I'm going away with my mom and my basically like my second mom and my older sister who I haven't
seen in, like, 17 years.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, like, and it's so crazy right now, because even on my calendar, it's like some of the
coolest and biggest opportunities I've ever had, and I'm like, yeah, but I'm also exhausted
right now.
And I know that if I go into a meeting and if I go into this space, like, I'm not going
to be myself.
I'm not going to be as with it.
I'm not, like, you have to make sure be as with it. I'm not like you have to
make sure that your cup, you're only giving when your cup is overflowing and right now it's,
it's all been great, but I'm just like, whoa, I need a minute to, you know, sit on a beach and
and just stare at the ocean and kind of regroup before I know that I can really deliver on what I say.
I'm delivering. Wow, you really learn to make yourself a priority and that's so powerful. Yeah,
you have, because no one does it for you.
No one will.
Yeah, and they'll just take and take and take and take.
And it's like, you know, but it's so interesting because that's one of the things that I always
respect about super successful people is that you can almost feel it when you're in the room
with them.
That like their boundaries are just of a certain way that their time is precious, that,
you know, all of these other factors, but they're the ones who set that standard.
They're the ones who set the table and allow people to come to it versus the other way around. And that's what I feel like is so cool and so interesting because, you know, all of these other factors, but they're the ones who set that standard. They're the ones who set the table and allow people to come to it versus the other way around.
And that's what I feel like is so cool and so interesting because, you know, some of these executives have had access to.
I literally have their, like, cell phone numbers and, like, direct emails.
And I'm like, I don't have to go through an assistant. I have to do this. Like, no, you're important.
You know what I mean? Like, but they, but then obviously I don't bombard them either. So there's that fine line.
But, you know what I mean? But then when I do call, it's like, oh wow.
I had never spoken to those executives previously.
They were probably like, why is she calling us?
This is interesting.
I don't know why I never called them.
I've never even had lunch with my agents.
I don't know why I hadn't.
But I just, I hadn't.
So it's, which isn't, again, insane,
because see, it's, because consider the largest, yeah,
entertainment.
I signed with the biggest.
And I, yeah, I don't know why I do the things that I do.
It's illogical but it's completely illogical to me.
It's so great because you just, you live fearlessly is what I would say.
Thank you.
And that's what held me back forever in my career, in my life, and I see that hold so many
people back.
So I really appreciate what you said failure is when you're sitting somewhere feeling comfortable
and safe. Absolutely. And it's hard too because even recently, I'm like,
wow, I've been back and early for four years. Have I like executed the goals that I wanted?
I constantly putting myself in check and it's not always the answer. And sometimes it's like,
no, my apartment needs to need needs to change. It's always like, there's always kind of something
that I'm like, all right, you know, well, this makes me really nervous. Like, and that's actually
the one thing that I always know to go to is anytime I'm like, oh, I can't do that or I'm like, all right, you know, well, this makes me really nervous. Like, and that's actually the one thing that I always know to go to is anytime I'm like,
oh, I can't do that. Or I'm terrified of this. Last year it was Burning Man.
I had full blown panic attacks before I went to Burning Man. I came back at different
person in the best way ever, but I was legitimately having panic attacks and I just couldn't stop
freaking out over how illogical that seemed to me. I was like, how do I get in? How do I get out?
You know, after bartering and couch surfing, I can climb all these fences. I know how to like do so many
weird and random things, but Burning Man was terrifying for my brain just because I couldn't,
I couldn't wrap myself around it. And so I wound up being such a great vacation. It was exactly
what I needed. And uh, but it was that fear that was like, oh no, now I have to go because I'm
actually a suffraute of something. So that's the first thing I'm doing. So fear to you is a
green light that just means go. Go for it. Well because you never know what's
gonna happen on the other side and even if it's even if it's a phone call and
maybe you had a phone call back it's like it's always been oh this is just the
path that you should be on. It's always that like oh they're showing me the next
step. So this is what I go after next this is my focus boom. But it takes a minute
to one get the inspired thought and then two like kind of no one to execute. So this is what I go after next. This is my focus boom. But it takes a minute to one, get the inspired thought and then two, like kind of no one to execute. So it's
a process for sure. But it's it's really cool. And then, you know, again, people respect
your commitment to yourself at that same time. Absolutely. It's it's so valued. And
and people are going to treat you the way that you see and treat yourself.
Absolutely. But it's it's still hard. Because I mean, there's 86,400 seconds in a day.
So it's like, we're all human, and we have relationships.
We have home life, whatever that means.
And then when you're in that flow and you're focused,
you're wanting to stay in it, but sometimes you can't.
So it's also, again, just, I don't know,
like learning to actually love yourself
and not just post a meme about it on Instagram.
Which so many people do it.
It's so obvious to it, really is so transferred. Well how does everybody keep up with you because I want to be able to keep up with the story.
Thank you. Yeah, you can check out the blog talk nerdy to me lover.com on Instagram. I'm at talk nerdy to me lover on Twitter.
I'm at Genfriel JNFR IEL and same with Facebook Facebook.com slash J N F R I E L.
You got to keep up with the story. It is so interesting. Thank you so much for
making time. I know how busy our Jen. I appreciate it. Alright hang tight with me.
I'll be right back.
I hope you loved meeting Jen. She is an absolute trip and it was funny. My post on
LinkedIn had gone viral the day that I met Jen and we had
spoken on the phone obviously before but we had never met face to face and when she was leaving
our interview I was telling her about and she said oh my gosh you've never had a viral post before
I said no I I have a post on LinkedIn right now with over a million views and I'm freaking out
I don't know what to do
And she said, oh shoot, I've got to leave. I would have totally given you the insight on how to handle and manage and optimize that
Let's definitely catch up next time you're in LA, but I have to run and I was so bummed out this woman is just
Such she's so much knowledge. She's so interesting and so real
So I definitely hope that you liked her as much as I did.
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Oh my gosh, something tells me my son
is going to be all over that.
Okay, so now onto your questions.
We have a couple of interesting ones this week,
so I'm kind of excited to answer these.
All right, here we go. Here's our first one. Oh, and to share that this is where this question came
from. It's kind of cool. Because I'm speaking at hypergrowth in Boston, I wanted to know about the
company that I was speaking for. Drift is the name of the company. So I had never heard a drift
prior to the conversations about having me speak for them.
I looked at the site, you gotta check it out, this is not an ad by the way. I was blown away by this
little drift bot that they put on your website and I took the free option, it didn't cost me anything.
And if you go to my website now, HeatherMonahand.com, you'll see this little bot, it's actually a little
picture of my head. And it says, hey, we're here to help you. Do you have any questions? And since I put that little
bot, which was so easy to put up on my site, people have been sending me these unbelievable
messages. Hey, Heather, where is the accountability partner sign up tab? I can't find it. And
I can, I get a ping on my phone, just like a text message, and I can answer them in real
time. And I can also shut off times that I'm not available
So it says when you go to the site it would say, you know, Heather's not available right now check back and she'll get back to you later
But it also has a lot of people has sent me questions that they are looking for me to answer on the podcast and just a variety of different
Really cool things so check out drift if you a website, if you're in business,
you need to have this bot on your site.
It's really, it's increased my ability
to have conversations with everyone
and made it super easy.
So this came from my Drift bot on my site.
It says, I just went through a very corrupt divorce
experience.
My ex-hid money made it look like he had none.
As a teacher
I had a pension, he used it in the divorce. He is a lawyer and I had to pay him thousands.
I had a lawyer who did not represent me well. I am just about at the two-year limit on
challenging the settlement. They say 95% chance it won't change if I pursue it. I have
people say move on and learn from it and I have very few who say fight it. He is manipulative, smart, and pre-meditative.
I really feel shafted from this whole experience.
I am building confidence, but justice of what is right
is blocking me from moving forward.
Do you have any words of wisdom, Heather?
Yikes, I sure do.
Listen to me on this one.
Then I answered this person already on the driftbot.
So as she knows how I feel, move on this one. Then I answered this person already on the driftbot so as she knows how I feel,
move on, period. Living in negativity and fighting and dragging things out to make a point sounds
horrific. And I promise you, it will not bring you greatness and positivity and opportunity.
And I talk a lot about fire the villain in your life. So hopefully you will be able to take this advice and apply it to your life where it might be appropriate.
Definitely don't swim with negativity, fighting with someone negative and manipulative. That just sounds terrible to me. You definitely need to let go of the negativity and move on.
need to let go of the negativity and move on. I saw a person that dragged a divorce out for years and I can promise you if you ask that individual today, do they regret it? Heck yeah, they do. They
regret it for countless reasons. And it sounded very similar to this woman's experience that she felt,
you know, she was, she needed to make a point. Make a point. Save yourself, get out, move on,
and start living the life that you want and deserve.
Okay, that's my feedback on that one. Next, hi Heather, what's your opinion on being an entrepreneur
and working for a company at the same time? I've had my business for over a year now and I'm
considering getting a job to be able to self-fund it. I'm confident of course, but I'm still afraid
of feeling like a failure if I decide to help my boss fulfill their dreams instead of working on my own, you know,
okay, so this is an interesting question.
Sometimes you have to do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.
It's to me that sounds more, it's like a financial question.
If you can't pay your bills, if you're not in the green, in your company, and you're
in the red, I completely understand
why you would want to go back and work for someone else until you can jump, you know,
creating that bridge to get over that gap so that you can move forward with your own company.
You know, anyone that's worked for themselves knows it can be really scary.
It can be super stressful when all that responsibility falls on your shoulders.
It can be really hard.
If you are struggling so much so that it's affecting your work, it might be a window where
you need to go back and do that.
However, if there is any way possible that you don't have to go back and work for someone
else, then keep moving into you.
Take more action.
Grow faster.
Ask for more. Put more pitches out there, whatever it is
that you're doing, lean into it more because I know this.
I launched a personal brand for a year while working in corporate America.
And I paid no time or attention to my personal brand or potential business because I didn't
have the time, right?
So if you're working full time for someone else, your mind, your thoughts, your ideas
are going to go to that job.
That's just the way it is.
You're not gonna do a half cook job somewhere.
You've got to show up and do the best job you can.
If there's any way possible,
you can avoid going back to work for someone else, do it.
But if you have to do it for a certain amount of time,
give yourself that timeline,
put a plan together,
grin and bear it, you know, get that paycheck to start coming in to fund the other company until you're in a situation where you can take that next leap and go out full time on your own.
So go all in all the time. It's definitely the right answer. And either way, you don't need to
feel bad if you've got to, you know, make this bridge play and work for someone for a short period
of time. Give yourself a timeline,
hold yourself accountable and get moving. Action fixes everything. So I hope you
enjoyed this week's episode. If you haven't yet, please subscribe, rate and
review the show. It helps so much. And if you could share it with your friends too,
I would appreciate it so much. Until next week week creating confidence with you, hang in there with me.
I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business
and entrepreneur podcast Habits and Hustle. Apart the YAP Media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network.
So, most people live the life they get and not the life they want, and I'm here to change all that.
My goal with each episode is to give you the habits and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better,
bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like what do you
want most in life and why don't you have it but we'll also help you make it a reality.
I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice
they have to help you get there too. Head over to Happets and Hustle once you've done listening
to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time.
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