Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The Eleven Habits To Make You A Master Influencer with Jason Harris Episode 19

Episode Date: September 10, 2019

The marketer master turned author of "The Soulful Art of Persuasion" comes on the show to discuss how he rose to represent so many major brands, how empathy makes a better boss, and the importance of persuasion in your personal interactions. Jason's Twitter | I nstagram | Book | Amazon  And that you to our adverterisers: Pluto TV = Cut the cable cord and download PlutoTV on your streaming devices  RayCon = Go to BuyRaycon.com/CONFIDENCE to get 20-percent off your order  ThirdLove = Go to ThirdLove.com/CONFIDENCE for 15% off  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this link and when you DM me the screenshot, I'll buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! My book Confidence Creator is available now! If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! DM your questions for the show DM your questions for the show Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Thank you for listening to this Podcast One production, available on Apple Podcasts and Podcast One. are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. After you're asleep, yeah. I'm on this journey with me. Hi and welcome back to creating confidence. I'm so excited you're here. It has been a crazy week. Actually, Florida did not get a hit from the hurricane. Unfortunately, the Bahamas did,

and there's complete devastation. Thousands of people homeless, pets, a horrible situation. I've come to realize, as if you're not in the southeast when hurricanes hit, you don't even really hear about it. I was in Boston and acutely tuned into the hurricane, watching it from my app, every news outlet I could find, and you know, it really wasn't covered much in the northeast. It's just shocking to me that when Mother Nature hits and there's such massive destruction that if you're not in that region, you know, people just aren't as aware. It's not as big a topic. In fact, a bigger topic was the issue that New England's been having with mosquitoes, that that seemed to come up casually no matter where I was during this last week.

It's so bizarre, but really opened my mind to the perspective that the media that you're surrounded with, the conversations and people you're surrounded with, really can change depending where in the country you are and what you're exposed to. So thankfully again we were spared in Miami and unfortunately the Bahamas did not face such a great outcome as we did. However it's been great to see here in the southeast all the amount of charity work and people coming together to help the Bahamas, everything from my son's school to Barry's boot camp to countless different groups of people that I know working tirelessly, even the cruise lines donating millions and bringing

goods for the people in the Bahamas. So it's been, it's definitely been a tough week, it's been so hard on the people in the Bahamas. So it's been, it's definitely been a tough week. It's been so hard on the people in the Bahamas. And if you aren't aware of what's going on, please Google Bahamas, Hurricane, check it out, see how you can help because it really is horrific. So the last week I made the decision to leave Florida ahead of the hurricane so I could get back to Boston on time and follow through with my obligation with hypergrowth and it ends up I would have I could have taken my

actual flight. I bet I would have been able. I don't think that actual flight was canceled. So it's kind of crazy. The decisions that you have to make you know days leading up to our hurricane or when there's an event going on. So I'd always rather be cautious than take a chance with something like that. So I'd always rather be cautious than take a chance with something like that. So I ended up staying at friends house outside of Boston for a few days and my son was back here with my ex-husband and definitely was not ideal situation.

So a couple of sleepless nights there worrying about what was going to happen. Luckily, we ended up okay. So going into the event, the day before the event in Boston, I went in, I left my friends and went into the city to do a rehearsal for hyper growth and get the chance to meet the people I've been working with on Zoom calls and telephone calls for the last two months leading up to this, which is always so helpful. Seeing the venue is really helpful. Seeing how the team at DRIFT had decorated the venue and how the wing looked.

Once you put yourself physically somewhere, it's much easier, mentally, to visualize how things will go, which definitely brings you some ease of mind, peace of mind, knowing what things look like. You feel a bit more comfortable knowing where you're going of mind, piece of mind, knowing what things look like. You feel a bit more comfortable knowing where you're going to sit, knowing who the stage director is, you know, meeting people and putting a face to a name is super helpful, as well as, you know, there's nothing like having that face-to-face experience. So, that worked out great.

I was really happy that they had me in the day before to do that dry run and answer a few questions that we hadn't known about. I had good friends, my good friend Scott, his wife and a big group of his team were there, so we all had dinner at the hotel and ended up running into the team from EMC 3 and hyper growth trip. And it was so great to get to hang out with everyone and get to know them on That one-to-one basis the day before the event so that was really exciting that next morning I had a big meeting with APB speakers and that went fantastic

But it made for a really intense day because there were changes coming over My email and I'm getting pinged on WhatsApp from the coordinator, how they're get to your email immediately and I was actually in another meeting. So there was so much going on. There's so much chaos that goes on before events that people don't see. You cannot even imagine. I mean, literally the amount of changes that occurred

over those two months leading up to the event, there were a ton, which was fine. But then when you think everything is, I must have saved Gen Rubio final, Sarah Blakely final, Jesse, it's their final on my computer five times. And then to see leading into those last two days, the different changes that came from their teams, or from someone making an observation that something was off or changing times because they're running behind schedule, whatever, it really is chaotic. However, the more that you do these things and more, you just kind of expect it and figure, you know, I'll just go with the flow

and the words will come to me and I just have to have faith in that. That's sort of my approach now because driving yourself insane over these kinds of things makes no sense You get more stressed out and at some point you just have to let it go and have faith. It's gonna go well So that's basically what I did the meeting I had at APB went amazing and again It goes back to being on site as everything. I've worked with so many speaker bureaus over the phone, over Skype, over Zoom. That is nothing compared to walking in and commanding a room and letting people see you and get to know you

and hear you speak is really impactful and meaningful. So I'm so grateful I had that opportunity. Although the meeting went so well, I was there much longer than I thought I was going to be. I got to meet the founder, the entire team, all of the agents, so that took quite a while. And then my Uber took forever. I don't know what's going on in Boston. Why Uber takes so long?

So I get back to the hotel. I have 30 minutes to get something to eat and get over to the theater. I run over there with my suitcase because I want to have multiple outfits and this might sound crazy. But to me, I was taking the stage twice for two different conversations. The first one with Jen Rubio in the second was Sarah Blakely and Jesse Itzler. So I knew Jesse Itzler would be dressed exceptionally casual. I had a feeling from the research I had done on Gen Rubio that she would be dressed up. And then I didn't know Sarah Blakely was a question mark because I've researched her and seen her in beautiful dresses as well as jeans and t-shirts.

So I figured I might as well bring a number of different things so I feel that I have solutions based on, you know, whatever I'm going to be dealing with. And the reason why I say that is the more comfortable people can be with you, whether in an interview, a meeting, you know, you don't want to walk into a board meeting where everyone's in a suit and you show up and t-shirt and flip-flops the first time you meet the team, you're going to feel a little out of place. So you can still bring your own flavor to the event, the venue, the meeting, but you wanna have an idea of what you're walking into.

So I ended up being right. Jen Rubio was dressed a bit more formal and I had brought for her interview a blazer in jeans, but it was a little bit more dressy. And I just had a feeling that Jessie Sarah might be a little more casual and I had just brought a sweater in jeans for that interview. So made me feel better. I hope it made them feel comfortable that we were at least more similarly aligned

and how we decided to dress. And I think it helped me because I had a ton of options with me and I'd rather go somewhere prepared. So that definitely helps me and it definitely helped me in this situation. So I get there and I'm taken down to the green room. Now remember I was there the day before. So I knew what I was walking into. I met the team.

So that set me up for a really good day walking in there. However, I had to be there for hours because I had this break between the two interviews. So I asked just to be taken to my green room and there was another room you could go where you know multiple people were hanging out and watching the show from a screen. But I when I'm about to go on stage I have my own little weird thing that I do. I like to listen to my music. I have my playlist that I use and I talk about this all the time. It fires me up. It reminds me that things are going to go well, I can visualize what's going to happen, and it really calms me down. So I went into my green room, I looked at my notes on Gen Rubio, I had studied her a ton, and I had approved questions from her team, I had had one call with her, so I felt that I had not met her yet. So I went out to interview her and met her right before we went on. She was very nice.

And, you know, it was 30 minutes. It was definitely, it was a good interview. She's a very interesting, strong personality. So I thought that it went pretty well. After that, I went back to my greener again. I got changed and I came up and Jesse and his wife Sarah were coming in. So I was able to meet Sarah for the first time, say hello to Jesse before we had to go on. Right then I got another ping that there was additional changes and I saw Sarah's assistant and she said, Heather, we want to do a giveaway and we want the last thing on stage to be, you know, you queuing Sarah to do this giveaway. And for a minute I was getting a little nervous thinking oh my gosh what I forget to do this now where are my notes and I'm going through all my printed notes and I realize I can't find Jesse's

bio. So there was this running joke I kept saying to the EMC 3 team and to the hypergirl drift team guys I'm not getting off that stage. I'm gonna take that stage. I'm gonna do my own keynote. Then I'll introduce Jesse and Sarah, kidding around. And it was this ongoing thing. Well, anyway, as now I couldn't find Jesse's bio.

I knew obviously if I was in a pinch, I know him well enough that I can improv that, but I was a little bummed out that I couldn't find it. We ended up figuring out a solution. They asked me to go up on stage, and when I got up there, another speaker was nervous about to go out. So I took that speaker and showed them the stage.

They hadn't spent as much time out there as I had. Remember I'd been there for rehearsal the day before, and then I had just done an interview out there. So to me, I felt really comfortable because it was my third time going out there. So I wanted this person to, you know, just take a little walk out there with me in between speakers so that he could see. And then my suggestion was focus on one friendly face and just think lower the expectations on you if you can have a positive impact on one person, wasn't it all worth it? And that can kind

of take the pressure off you and put you at ease. So I did that, then I came back in and then the stage director said, Heather, you know, you're going to go out first, we want you to do a three-minute intro about you and then we want you to do each Sarah and Jessie's bios and then intro them together. Then the three of you will sit together. Here's how the seating is going to go. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, great. Well, we're about to go on and they weren't up there yet. So the stage director comes back to me and says, Heather, change the plans. We need you to go out there and do a six-minute intro. They're not here yet. We need to mic them, etc. Well, they were doing a podcast downstairs with the head of drift. So they were running a couple minutes late for the podcast.

He said, so just extend, speak for six minutes instead. So in my mind, I'm thinking, okay, what am I gonna talk about? You know, for six minutes, I thought about something I would talk about for three minutes. Now I had to pivot. Okay, I was thinking my mind, different stories I could tell. Okay, I thought I've got this. Well, all of a sudden I turn back and I see Jesse and Sarah behind me, they're getting mic'd up and I say, oh, I guess they made it. So now I don't know, am I going out there

for three minutes or six minutes? So I just think I'll figure it out. Someone will let me know. Wouldn't you know, all of a sudden you hear that the MC voice reads both Sarah and Jesse's bio and I realize that I'm not going out there to do my intro, my three minute or my six minute or their bio's, it's cute time. We have to walk out. They were just intro. So in those moments, you know, it was everything was kind of up in the air and I just thought let's just walk out and do the

interview portion. Of course, when I'm walking out my shoe falls off which is amazing. I was already a little off because I thought I was walking out by myself to do a little intro and then that was shot and then I just thought you know about whatever you have to laugh at yourself. My shoe came off while Sarah Blakely is walking behind me and I just had to laugh at myself. Okay. a Blakely's walking behind me and I just had to laugh at myself. Okay. So we sit down at the three of us and luckily I already know Jesse, I am so familiar with both of them on camera because I'd research them both so much. I had interviewed Jesse previously.

So I felt really comfortable specifically because if you sat with someone before, you know, you know, at least one of the people you feel comfortable. And it made for an amazing interview. The problem was, all of a sudden I look up, there's a clock that runs. So, you know, it's my job to make sure that we don't go over 60 minutes, that's our timeline. And I have to keep us on track with the outline

that I had been given from the teams. So, all of a sudden I glance up, we're having such a good conversation. I thought, oh geez, I lost track of time. I look and we're having such a good conversation. I thought oh geez, I lost track of time I look and we're 30 minutes into the interview and I'm not even close to halfway through what the plan is So I had to make a game time decision to jump ahead skip some questions and in those moments You don't know what you're doing. I'm literally winging it I just thought if we've come this far off of I don don't know, two questions, if we took up 30 minutes and I've got 22 questions, I'm just going to have to start jumping to the,

we had some video clips we wanted to show. So I figured I'm just going to jump there and hope that the team and back can queue up the video and that everyone's happy with these game time decisions I make. So this was my first time ever interviewing two people on a stage together. We had incorporated video, we had a lightning round coming up, some different fun things to make it really funny, which worked amazing. And yes, I'm trying to get you the audio. I've actually requested it so that I can share it with you guys here because it came out so, so good.

I loved it. But anyways, it did not come out as planned. They're definitely were some major hiccups. All of a sudden, I look at the clock and I see we have two minutes left and I believe it was Sarah who was just talking and telling us great story and I thought, oh shoot, I can't cut her off. However, we need to wrap this thing, oh my gosh.

So as soon as she was done speaking for about a millisecond, I jump in and said, okay, everyone's gonna hate this but let's go to our lightning round. Because we have these great funny questions like, what is your theme song or who is your celebrity crush? Really funny, fun things that we knew the audience were gonna love and they worked out so great. Well, when she know I take another look at the clock and what happens is when you get on stage, it starts at 60 minutes and it goes backwards down to zero. When you get on stage, you have, it starts at 60 minutes and it goes backwards down to zero. When you're at zero, you have to get off. It had gone

past zero and now with climbing back up. And I'd never seen that before. And I was so confused and other times when I spoke and if your time was up, it just sits at zero. So you know, it's time to get off the stage. But now they were adding time up. So I thought, okay, in my mind, well, it started off wrong. Maybe they want us to go longer. Now, I don't know. This is crazy. So I said out loud, oh my gosh, the freaking clock's

going the wrong way with the heck is going on. And Sarah started laughing and Jessie was saying, what are you talking about? It was very funny. So anyways, we end up wrapping and the best was, I remember the assistant had said to me Heather Make sure you finalize this Interview with giving Sarah the chance to do her giveaway

So I said and now everyone is gonna love this amazing opportunity that Sarah Blakely is giving to all of you Sarah What are you going to throw at us or something like that and she said what I don't know what she had forgotten or I don't even know if the assistant had told her and so I leaned over and said you're doing a giveaway and she said oh yeah I'm doing a giveaway and she rolled out this contest which was so cool to give away spank's products. Well apparently Jesse hadn't known about it because he says wait a minute no one told me about this. Remember, it happened literally a minute before we went on.

And so he decided to do a giveaway as well and do court side seats to the Hawks game. It was so cool. So it was so fun, so just on the fly and it worked out great. Well, we go to get up and thank everyone and Sarah and I walk off. And it come to find out Jesse stayed behind and went back and shook hands with

Anyone that he could reach from the stage, which I thought was so cool And I never thought about that but I'm gonna be really cognizant of that from now. I'm moving forward I thought that was really a classy class act move. Well Sarah and I had walked right off stage Like you typically would and she was so kind as she took a picture with me Which is up on my Instagram at Heather Monahan as well as I asked her Sarah's or any chance I could get you on my show. I would love to have you as a guest and she said yes and she gave me her assistance info who I am now following up with but she did let me

know she's gonna be out of the country for the next few weeks and that it won't be anytime soon but we will have her on the show and I cannot wait. So you never know it's going to happen when you show up, when you ask for what you want and you treat people with kindness and respect, good things happen. So, but they certainly don't go perfectly. So today I can't wait for you to meet my guest and hear about his book, The Soulful Art of Persuasion. Jason Harris has this really interesting book, which is the 11 habits that will make anyone a master influencer.

I read this book. I took a lot of knowledge from it. I believe you will too. And I'm going to walk you guys through these key points, the key 11 points, so that you can really master persuasion. But before we do that, you know that I have to give you something amazing. And I want to talk to you about an amazing bra, third love. Third love uses data points generated by millions of women who have taken their fit finder quiz to design bras with the breast size and shape in mind for a perfect fit.

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That's thirdlove.com slash confidence for 15% off today. Hi, welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet Jason Harris. He's the co-founder and CEO of the award-winning creative agency Mechanism. He's the co-founder of the creative alliance as well. He works closely with brands to create provocative campaigns that engage audiences, iconic brands including Peloton, Ben and Jerry's Miller Chores, HBO and the United Nations. Under his leadership, mechanism has twice been named to add age's best places to work, agency A-List and Creativities Creative 50. Harris has been named in the top 10 most influential social impact leaders as well as the 4A's list of 100 people who make advertising great Jason thank you so much for being here today. Great to be here thank you for having me. So I really wanted to jump into your new

book the Soulful Art of Persuasion and the 11 habits that make people compelling and persuasive. I just read the book and have to tell you it's very interesting and I find myself a very persuasive person, but I'll tell you, I took some really strong takeaways that I marked the heck out of your book and I typically don't do that. So I'm really excited for us to dive into this. All right, I love hearing that. Yeah, it's not only my new book, it's my first book. I've never attempted to write a book before

and it was quite a challenge and quite a journey to get to the end product. What did you find challenging just at your time, strapped or putting your thoughts on paper? I think I was trying to distill, I've been running a company for close to 15 years, I've been in advertising 20 plus years,

and I was trying to distill the way that I've worked through business and the learnings that I've had and trying to distill it into a formula and organize your thoughts in a way with key actionable takeaways. I found that process challenging to get right and challenging to come up with all the examples throughout my career that the audience would sort of respond to. And so I think, you know, when you know something and it's inherent to you and then you're trying to teach, it's really hard to distill it down to just the fundamentals

that are actually actionable. I think it's easy to tell stories with maybe a moral or a takeaway, but it's hard to then create that action. Like, how do you turn that idea into a habit that anyone can take and learn from? That part was challenging. And it took me about three years from start to finish. Wow, that's impressive.

Do you think of yourself as a persuasive person? I think I'm persuasive based on my character. And I think what the book shows is that anyone, you're not innately a persuasive person. There's habits that you can learn and ways of approaching and point of view towards the world that will make, will build trust and relationships and help people, help you persuade people for success. But I don't think I personally was, you know, came out of the womb as like,

I'm a naturally persuasive person. I don't know if many people are. You really touch on that even in the first chapter, the importance of showing up is that real you in character. And it really seems like the epicenter from when I take away of persuasion in your eyes. Yeah, I think the, you know, there's sort of four fundamental principles in the book that the habits fall out of.

And the first one, you know, persuasive people have to be, I call it original, you have to know that they're coming from a place of authenticity and honesty and that you're getting a glimpse of the real unique them. I think that is like the cornerstone is knowing yourself and leaning into all the things that make you you. And I think that the Oscar Wilde quote, be yourself, everyone else is taken is really, really important.

And as you're maturing and growing up and starting your career and developing your your personality and and how you are and how the world sees you it's really hard to really go deep and lean into the things that make you you and make you unique and a lot of the business books that are out there like the Perennial business books how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie and books like that that a lot of people have read and a lot of current business books. There are a lot of trying to pair it or mirror the person that you're

audience or the person that you're responding to when the countertuitive approach is really show a little psychic skin like show people who you are and what makes you know the hardships you've gone through the journey you've been on your unique things that you're into and that's hard for people to naturally open up to To, first of all, naturally understand themselves, but second, to open yourself up. And so that idea of original, being an original is really a key cornerstone to modern persuasion. So what you just explained is incredibly scary

for most people. I know it was for me and definitely took decades to really get to know myself and have the courage to step into being who I really am. What is some of the direction that you would share with people to start that process? Well, I think one thing is to really understand, you know, write down what your core values are, the things that you hold dear that you believe in. I think understanding your role models, you know, who do you aspire to? Who do you look

up to? What was their path? What are the stories that you can learn from people that you respect, whether they're famous or friends or family, whatever you're a mentor in business, wherever your role models are, try to think about the characteristics that they embody that make you look up to them. fundamental of being an original and knowing stories through your life, stories that you can tell to other people, or stories that are well known that you respond to, or stories of famous people that you aspire to, but I think understanding those those stories that sparked you how to tell a good story, stories from your soul, I think those things are really important. And the other thing in this sort of idea of original that I always love to think about is, original people, people that are holding themselves,

they never work in a transactional way. They never work in a way where they're trying to close something. You know, there's a chapter in there called Never Be Closing, which is the opposite of the old outage of ABC always be closing. It's that idea that you are playing the long game. You are building relationship by relationship, by letting people in and they'll let you in. And as you build those relationships over time, that's sort of playing the long game. And you're not trying to, in every interaction, what can this person do for me?

You're building relationships that, you don't know how they'll pay off down the road, but you're letting them know who you are and you're understanding and asking questions about them. Those relationships will pay off somehow with compound interest from a personal business standpoint down the road. And I think those are sort of the cornerstones of this idea of, authentically being yourself, giving people a glimpse of the real you.

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for you to have it. Now, 33,000 companies have already upgraded to NetSuite gaining visibility and control over their financials, inventory, HR, e-commerce, and more. If you've been sizing NetSuite up to make the switch, then you know this deal is unprecedented. No interest, no payments, take advantage of the special financing offer at NetSuite.com slash monahan, net suite dot com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm, net suite dot com slash monahan. So it's interesting. I had conflicting feelings in these first few chapters. I love the second chapter, which you just touched on briefly in regards to the power of storytelling. I really liked how you laid out the actual framework for telling a good

story. I took a lot away from this chapter. I have so many notes here just listing benefits and features is not persuasive. However, telling a story is, it's more about entertainment and pulling someone into the story, making them a part of it, which is so powerful and so many salespeople, just period so many people in general, don't realize that is available to them. How did you utilize story to get to where you are in your career?

Well, it's a little different for me because the career path that I'm on, which is for a living, I tell stories for brands. And I'm always trying to look at, and it sort of has spilled over into interacting with people that come into my life. But for brands, of people that come into my life, but for brands, you're always trying to figure out the core truth behind why did someone start this brand? What does this brand really mean to people? What is the story that we want on Earth to tell the it's that there's a community of riders that support you. It's that you can become a healthier, better person

right from your own home. What is the reason the story behind either a product of service, and then you carry that through to interact with people and trying to figure out what's that truth behind that person, what makes that person tick. And storytelling is really the way that you, you know, the way that people explain themselves and the way that brands explain themselves.

And brands today are really trying to be much more human than they were, you know, before the sort of advent of social media where everyone could comment on every single thing that a brand puts out there. Brands are forced now to have a purpose, have a direction, not just make a profit. And so I think that idea of like storytelling behind the core truth is true for brands, products, services, people. I kind of see the whole world through that lens because of the work I do. So you just mentioned, you know, this going from brands to people and personal branding. And you talk about this in the book, how is it different storytelling around personal brands

and what are your thoughts on personal brands today? So like if someone's developing a brand through social or through content or whatever they might be doing, I think the idea that, and you're seeing that a lot now, the idea that the way you show up, and it's true for brands and for people, the way you show up has to be vulnerable, and it has to be real, and you have to let people in. And I think even a few years ago, the world was in a different place where it was much more about the perfect life and showing your

personal brand as successful and unstoppable and aspirational. And I think now we live in such a low trust world with fake news and politics and fishing scams and you can't trust Google or Facebook anymore. I think we live in such a low-trust world that in order to gain trust from your personal brand, you need to be vulnerable and show a lot of sides of yourself that, you know, I think in the near past, you didn't really need to do or it wasn't really acceptable to do. And I think now it's much more about all aspects,

all aspects of your life, the joy and the pain, the hardships, all those types of elements you wanna put out there. So what's the next iteration then? If it began with this you know perfection and massive domination and then it's evolved into authenticity and vulnerability where does it go from here? Well I hope it stays in this this the place that we're in now where you know trust is forged and brands are created personal brands are created through vulnerability

and authenticity and I hope it stays there. I don't know what would evolve from there, but I hope I think we're getting into a good place because of the world we live in. Well, definitely reviews help shed some light on that truth and definitely keep people being more authentic from what I can see anyways. As far as the next portion of your book,

you get into the importance of being generous and generosity. Yeah. How does that impact persuasion? So I think generous people, generosity is a skill like anything else that you can learn. And generosity for persuasive people, being generous is this idea of habitually giving without expecting anything in return.

And I think that notion of being generous and it can be with your time, with your advice, with your connection to other people, someone's looking for something, you know, you're connecting them, it can even be giving something, it can be thinking of someone when you see an interesting story. I know they like that singer. I'm going to text them this story. I'm thinking about them. It's that idea of habitually giving things out, putting things out to the people in your circle and the world at large without expecting anything in return.

And I think the expecting anything in return is really important because when you're thinking of developing a generous sort of habit or trait, a lot of times where generous by, well, if I connect this person with that person, then they'll owe me a favor and they'll get me back at some point in the future. I think it's not thinking about that in that light, but doing it habitually, so it just becomes second nature to you. And I think it comes down.

Another big element of respect, or generosity is respect. And there was this study that I cover in the book of Harvard Business School did, they interviewed 20,000 employees, and they found that the number one, the single thing that they cared about the most was, it wasn't time off, it wasn't more money, it wasn't a promotion, it was that who they work for, shows them respect. And the idea of like respecting others

is a hallmark of being a generous person. And if you don't display a respectful attitude, habitually it's gonna be really hard to be a persuasive person and for people to follow you and for you to sort of lead. And so, you know, that's another element of being generous is this idea of respect and this idea of habitually giving to others and helping others without thinking about anything you return. I love this chapter. It's chapter six on respect.

And I really like the story used to illustrate which was in a prison where guards came to rescue one of, I don't know if it was a deputy, and he was being attacked and they came to his aid. And when asked why they would do that it's because he treated them more like family than inmates that were separate from them. And I thought that was really powerful. And I thought about how that relates back to business, how a leader or manager treats their team.

I love that you actually read the book. That's really impressive. It's good to see. You can actually pull those out. And yeah, it happened in there's a jail in Florida and these inmates were breaking free and a couple of them grabbed this guard and they were strangling him. And five other inmates, you know, you think all you want to do is get away from your captors and try to be set free.

And they came and pulled the guys off of them, got involved in the whole confrontation. I'm sure, you know, in a jail system, those guys were sort of marked after that for, you know, helping the enemy. And when they were interviewed afterwards, they said the reason why this deputy always showed us respect. And when it came to a life leading a team or you're a manager of someone and they need to get your back, you know, they're gonna show respect back when the time comes. Now, conversely in a work environment where there are unfortunately many employees

are working for leaders that do not operate that way. They're not treating their people like family and the way that, you know, they're a part of something larger. Are you running your company in that regard? And I guess my question is really, is there a place for employees that feel like they're not being treated well?

Is there a place for them to go? Should they be seeking other opportunities? If employees here are not, feel like they're not being respected. Not in your company, but just in general, any of our listeners that feel like they're not being respected. Not in your company, but just in general, any of our listeners that feel like they're going to work every day and their leader doesn't treat them like that.

Yeah, I think they, they need to articulate, because a lot of times it'll be a feeling that you have, but it's always unsaid, or you're fearful of upsetting the person that you report to. And I think a good leader or a good company, you'll have an outlet where you can go to that person

and have a one-on-one and be very candid and honest about your feelings and why give specific examples. That's always helpful like at this time and this time and this time that you know I need respect for me to perform and I think having that conversation is always helpful to start and if that leader or person or manager doesn't respond then I think you're never going to be motivated, you're never going to be at your best, and you're never going to perform, and it's time for you to start looking.

And that you can't change, you can only say what you want, what you can't control the outcome. You can't hold it inside and pretend it's going to change. You have to articulate it in a way that's very clear that respect is important to you and this is how you need respect in the world and see if there any change happens and if not, you shouldn't be there. And just the act of doing that's going to create confidence in yourself and like you're saying in this book, it's going to make you a more persuasive person communicating and having that exchange,

which is really powerful in any situation. That also is showing the other person respect because you respect that they can handle what you're going to tell them. And you're respecting that for them to get the best out of you, this is what you need. So it's also showing that person respect. It's not just talk about all the bad characteristics of this person and I'm going to,

I don't want to ruffle any feathers. I think it's showing that's that's another sign of you being generous both with yourself and with the person that you work for to let them know because you know a lot of times I can business people might leave or people might quit an organization, and then when you do an exit interview, you hear all these things that they were upset about, but they never voiced those things. And that shows a lack of respect, because maybe things could have changed if you had the opportunity or if you knew how they were feeling. So that was a massive shift that you just provided for everybody.

People are typically coming from that place of fear that they don't want to get in trouble, sharing how they feel, but instead when you look at it as you are respecting that other person that they can handle it, that's a seismic shift in the relationship. Definitely. I love that. And for the right person, you'll grow much tighter, and everything will get, will perform better. But it takes a very confident leader to handle that. Hopefully everybody's working for confident leaders. That's definitely the place to be.

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book is about empathy and you've got again some great stories in here and this is why this book is very easy to read because everyone's going to be able to really relate to and identify with the stories. Specifically, you shared the story of Trayvon Martin and Obama and gosh, it immediately Jason, when I read this, I went right to my memory of everyone, depending on your age, if you're old enough, you remember this situation and the news coverage and the animosity in our country. However, I hadn't remembered Obama's quote and relating it to his life and his children and how it could have been his son. And it was, this is a really important chapter where so many people have in the past and possibly still do see empathy possibly as a weakness.

They don't realize that this is such a strong way to be persuasive and connect with people. And I really like how you detail this with a few different examples and some of the specific quotes you use. They're very impactful in this chapter. Yeah, that was, I think to me, the, I was trying to find an example of empathy. And I think, you know, I talk about how like our DNA, we're all as people, we're 99.9% the same. And there's 0.1% difference. And what we focus on so much is how we're different and how we're not similar. And the idea of empathy is this notion that we, this common

humanity that we have. And when you see the world that way, through the common humanity and that we all desire and want the same things. And it's not about our differences, although they exist, but you don't need to focus on those differences. And we see that through our feeds and then social media and what we listen to. We're always in our echo chamber of the things that speak to us, but really our differences are really minuscule in the big picture. And I think that Obama, you know, he waited when that happened. Everyone was asking him for, how do you feel about this?

What are you going to say about the cops? Like, what are you going to come out and what are you going to do? And I think the human way that he took his time and then came out, the first thing he said about it was that if I had a son, he would have looked like Trayvon Martin. Everyone just instantly related to that. And if the president of the US can relate that way, it made people think about it not as a divisive issue, but as something that they can all relate to as parents

or fathers, you know, sons. And I think that was just like incredibly empathetic. It's the light bulb moment, but back to persuasion. This is, that's so incredibly persuasive. And you also have another quote in this chapter that I have marked up and I'm going to be tweeting. It was from an industry event that you attended. If I told you that half a million people are dying in the Syrian civil war, you might shrug. But if I tell you a story about a specific 10-year-old boy, the same age as your son, that died walking home from school, and I walked you through his story,

you would be compelled to do something about it to stop this. That is so incredibly true, and I'm working on a TED talk right now, and when I read that quote, it opened my eyes to holy cow, I have to be empathetic to connect with that audience to persuade that audience. It's not about this massive issue. It's about something relatable to each one of them and having that empathy to connect. That's right. And I love that. These commonalities that we have, it's such a different way of thinking, but it is a habit that can be learned and it is a mindset. And when we place too much emphasis on levels of welter education or groups that we're in, you know, we're driving a wedge between

You know, we're driving a wedge between people and that makes persuasion all the more challenging. You know, for me, empathy is about those commonalities and it's also about making it about them, person and how the other person can relate. Not just your point of view or your side, but how can the other person connect to what you are trying to communicate? It really is attention grabbing and becomes very persuasive. Before we move on from this chapter, one other thing I wanted to note, you talk about Cal Fussman,

who is a master interviewer. He's a very good friend of mine. And he's an incredible journalist. And you detail his expertise in regards to asking questions. And again, one-on-one, connecting with people. And I'm doing an interview with Sarah Blakely next week with her husband. And I called Cal Fussman. And I said, Cal, I've never interviewed two people

on stage live before. Please help me, how do I do this? And he said, Heather, picture yourself at a dining room table having dinner with them. You're not gonna shoot and bombard questions at either one. You're going to have a conversation in a real and understanding curious environment, show up in BU, be curious, ask questions, and let the rest take care of itself. And I really love

that you referenced him in here because the way that he approaches curiosity is, and it's a way to create persuasion, which has created so much success for him in his career. Yeah, he's amazing. I just recently did his podcast and I think I've listened to him for a while, I hadn't really known him. The way he's empathetic and the way he gets people to bear their souls is he finds out

He keeps asking question after question to find out what someone really really Loves and believes in and it opens the door once he like cracks it He really pushes hard on those questions to crack He really pushes hard on those questions to crack the what is really behind the person because everyone Yeah, they want to have like the textbook answer or they want to have the thing that they've memorized that they want to say And he goes deeper and deeper and deeper until he cracks them and then the flood then the conversation really starts and then the floodgates open and that's Part of what you try to do as a persuasive person is figure out,

it's all about asking the right questions to get someone to tell you about that interesting thing that no one knows about or that quirk or that experience they had or how they were raised or whatever that thing might be. It is all about the asking the right questions. And those conversations are not gonna happen That thing might be, it is all about asking the right questions. And those conversations are not going to happen over text message or DMs.

You're never going to get someone to really open up those floodgates, as you said. It's so important to persuade people to be in front of them face to face and have that conversation on a real energetic level. Would you agree? Definitely. For sure. 100%. So, you move into collaboration and I like how you talk about, you know, I, I, I, I, as you, I'm sure we collaborate with so many different companies and business and on teams and in different ways in our life. However, you talk about joining forces. And when I thought about that, I thought about

that idea of enveloping someone in the mission or purpose or, you know, what I'm trying to achieve and making them a part of that. And I started thinking back in my life different times where you're almost recruiting someone to join you and that feeling of connecting together and then wanting to be a part of that. I had never thought about that as a way to be persuasive. I really appreciate that you laid that out here and then laid out the Pepsi example, which was massive. Yeah. You cut out a little bit there, but I think I got the just of it. Well, it said bad connection on my side. So I'm sure it's me but I think the idea of collaboration

You know, so the Pepsi example was we were doing a super bowl spot For Pepsi it was Beyonce was doing the halftime show and we had this idea of the biggest stage on television, let's hand it over to the audience. And let's get the audience to send us photos of themselves doing different movements to introduce Beyonce. And then we stitched that together.

So we collaborated and Pepsi was able to share the biggest stage with their audience instead of just having it be about, you know, one of the biggest stars in the world. And that that's an example from an advertising perspective. And, you know, from a real world individual perspective, it's this idea that to have be persuasive and empathetic, you want to be eager to team up with others, whether it's at work or with your friends, but you want to join first forces with people to create something or to collaborate and to share. And I think that's a really important hallmark of not trying to do it all yourself,

but really trying to, if you have a great idea and you want to put it out in the world, finding like-minded people that feel similarly and you try to collaborate and do things together and share. And I think that's a very important trade of being persuasive. If you're struggling with swelling in your legs, ankles are feet, you're gonna wanna listen up.

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podcast. Keep coming back. You got plenty of space. Oof, not how you would have done that. You like working with people you can rely on by USA, a who has helped guide the military community for the past 100 years. USA, a get a quote today. guide the military community for the past 100 years. USAAA, get a quote today. I definitely don't think it's one people think of often, which again, it's something you just need to be aware of first and then begin to practice intentionally because I had not been practicing that. But since reading this book, I definitely will. So thank you for that, Jason.

Yeah, I mean, it came from before I have three other partners at mechanism my the advertising agency that I run. And before that I started another company on my own. And part of it was me trying to prove I could do it all on my own and just work and do, you know, everything from the idea to the pitch, to the production, to the invoicing, to the creative idea, whatever it is, everything. And I really, like, ran myself to the ground, almost had a nervous breakdown, was really on the brink of, you know, the business collapsing because I had a chip on my shoulder that I didn't have to collaborate, that I could do it all on my own. And I had something to prove. Like I was going to start a business, I was going to do it all myself. And very quick, you know, after

about a year and a half, two years of that, I did fold that company and then, you know, started something with another group. And that And the weight and the freedom and the experience was so much more enriching and enlightening because I had like-minded collaborators on my side versus the idea that you have to do it all yourself. And that was just a really powerful breakthrough for me. That's also based in creating confidence, is that ability to acknowledge when you need help in knowing that that's a strength and not

and not a weakness. So thank goodness you had that experience and we're able to step into collaboration. It's such so, you know, when we align ourselves with like-minded people, we are so much stronger than when we are alone. There's no question about it. And I think a lot of your intention and time should be finding those like-minded people, not because you need them immediately, but knowing that they're out there and people that share your point of view, you should be seeking them out and not driving yourself crazy by trying to learn every single nuance of whatever your career is or whatever journey you're on. It's so true because there are people out there who have read the book written it, produced the movie, and it definitely helps when you can tap them on the shoulder and ask for a little direction. Absolutely. No question about it. I mean, this is my first book. I had to tap into friends that have written books and what was your process and how do I go about it and

how do I get an agent. Do you know anyone? Like, I don't have no idea. I've never done it before. Versus, you know, I can't wait to show them what I've accomplished. You know, you got to ask for help. Were you afraid when you started? Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, I'm afraid now. Right now, because it's, you know, you're launching it and then you put it out into the world and you don't know what the reaction is going to be and you have to market it. And, you know, it's hard to write a book about persuasion that no one buys. So I didn't think about. So my book is a compilation of my lowest moments and how I leverage them to create confidence.

So for me, that scary moment was sharing my personal low moments. But I see what your analogy is, you're writing a book about persuasion. And if you're not persuasive enough, people won't buy it. The one, the feedback I'd love to give you on that is everybody feels exactly like you. It's like the first time you give birth.

You think of everything that can go wrong. And then you just leap. And it's so much better the day that the book is out there. And you're implementing the proven strategies that you know to implement. And it's going much better the day that the book is out there and you're implementing the proven strategies that you know to implement and it's going to be just fine. I want you to know that your books good. Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that reassurance, but I think, you know, the fear, whatever you're doing, you know, it's being fearless is important but also acknowledging that that, you know, what's the worst that happens? What am I holding on to? And I think that's just something you have to break through and whatever aspect you are whether you're, you know, and trying to get a new job interviewing, writing a book, launching a book, you're always going to have those moments

you got just pushed through them. That's creative, I think you for sharing that. Sure. So the last portion of, no, this is just seconds to last portion, I'm sorry, it was the soulful portion. And what I liked about this was thinking about persuasion and thinking about expertise. I hadn't really thought about that, the importance that we will put on someone based upon their skill set, time, you know,

spend in an occupation, and how that can impact persuasion and conversation and imparting your knowledge. Yeah, so the last sort of principle is this idea of being soulful and with regards to it, sounding a little new agey, soulful people have a deep connection to things that are important to them. And I think for me, what that means, you know, the whole book is about soulful persuasion, but so-called in particular is mirroring skill with purpose. And I think those two things coming together are really, really powerful.

And people respond, there is a study of the most trusted people in America. And Tom Hanks was at the top of the list. And I think it was like Maya Angelo and Merrill Street. But the point of that is that we respect people that are very skilled at something. And you know, we don't know, I don't know personally what Tom Hanks is like. Most people wouldn't know what he's like in his personal life. But the fact that he chooses great roles, he excels at those roles, you know he takes his craft very seriously. It's the same reason why in advertising celebrity endorsements work, because you're saying that this product is attributed to this person who's

highly skilled. And developing a skill, you don't have to be skilled at a million things. You just have to be really honed and skilled at a few things. And that skill builds trust and thus persuasion with people because you've mastered something whatever it might be or you are on your way to mastering something, you're really skilled at whatever that interest hobby profession that you want to pursue is. The purpose part of that is thinking about, I always push people to think this way. You mentioned the creative alliance. I started an organization that does pro bono advertising work and there's 90 companies

in it and those companies donate their work for free for gender equality, anti-hate discrimination, things like that that the matter to the world and the idea of like if you're, me, that's what I know, I know advertising and you know selling products and services like selling deodorant and sneakers is good. Like that's what I know. But I'm not necessarily putting goodness into the world by doing that. But if I can also take that skill and help in sexual assault or try to combat, you know,

hate and discrimination, that's a way that I can mirror my skill with doing something positive and doing something good. And so I think that's another important role of persuasive people and it's just good to do. And everyone out there, someone has skills and one, I love this exercise you take you write down on a piece of paper two or three things you're really skilled at and you write down on the other piece of paper two or three things that you care

about and if you stare at those pieces of paper long enough you'll get an idea and that idea is something that you can give back into the world. Ultimately, you're doing that for your own soul, but ultimately, that builds trust and persuasion and highlights your skills and just helps in many, many different aspects. And to illustrate what you just laid out

is the Joe Biden example where he brought you in and persuaded you and others to work pro bono to stop sexual crimes in college. Yeah, so that's right. He um, it's a it's a funny story because we had done my agency had done work on ax body spray, which is essentially college guys spraying themselves and since they've changed, but this was, you know, years ago, where they would spray scents on themselves and attract the opposite sex. And someone on his team, he had this big initiative because sexual assault was rampant on college campuses

with one in five primarily females getting assaulted on college campuses, usually in their first or second year of school. And someone on his team knew we had done this work to try to attract the opposite sex to college age males. And the idea was why don't we get this agency to help talk to college age males to stop sexual assault. And before I knew it, I was in a meeting with him in the Rose Vault room, and he was persuading

us to help him do this free campaign. And the way he did it wasn't advertising is really bad. And it's a horrible profession. And you guys are, you know, we've seen Medman and you guys are all shady. He did it in a way that was, it wouldn't be amazing if we could join together and stop sexual assault on college campuses, would that be like just

incredible if we could work together and help that and care about that cause. And the way he did it was so from such a positive optimistic standpoint versus a sort of negative approach, obviously we ultimately did it, but he definitely had a way to, even a really hard thing to talk about and a terrible issue like that, he talked about it in a hopeful, what if kind of way, that I put my agency's resources behind it. We've been working on the campaign for five years now and he definitely persuaded me. In that instance, persuasion comes not from scare tactics, not from threats, but instead from enveloping and including others in a purpose and mission to do good and be a part of something, a possibility of something better. That's right. That's exactly right.

So your final point and final habit, it's entitled Personal Jesus, but really, when you dig into it, it's about inspiration. And I believe you even said this is probably the most powerful habit someone can possess when persuading? Yeah, so personal Jesus to me is this idea of purpose. And what is the thing that you're gonna do in the world like what do you care enough about to give back

and make a take a stand on and care about. And I think that, to me, speaks volumes of people's character. And the example that I love to use is Muhammad Ali, because obviously he's known as the goat, you know, greatest of all time. And the reason why is obviously he was a great heavyweight fighter and won all kinds of titles, but he also opposed the war in Vietnam. And he couldn't box for five years. And so, you know, his personal Jesus was, I don't believe in this war, even though many people in the

country did at the time, and, you know, his stock dropped. He almost went bankrupt. He couldn't fight anywhere in the world for five years when he was in the prime, but he's still known as the greatest of all time. Yes, because of the way he fought, but also because of what he stood for. He had that personal Jesus belief and he fought through hard times with, with financially and with money, but it's why world leaders, you know, towards the end of his life, why they listened to him and they wanted Muhammad Ali all over the, all over the globe because he took a stand and it wasn't just relying on,

I'm just gonna work for the money and keep boxing and take a desk job and fake help out the award I don't believe in. He took a stand and that's part of the reason why he's known as the greatest of all time. So standing in your beliefs and sharing them is going to persuade others to join you. Yeah, that's right.

It's that idea of skill married with taking a stand and having hardcore beliefs that you won't bend on. So now that we've covered the 11 habits, and I definitely want everyone to check out the book, it's something I've never the 11 habits and I definitely want everyone to check out the book. It's something, you know, I've never thought about trying to be more persuasive, but when we're aware of what steps we can take to become more persuasive, it's just that awareness first and foremost, and then practicing the disciplines and the habits and putting them into play, starting with what seems easiest first,

so that you can build that momentum and become more experienced. I have to ask you Jason, no one ever gets to leave my show without sharing when in your life is the time that you struggled most with your confidence. The time in my life when I struggled most with my confidence there's sort of I think two times. One of them I mentioned, which was starting my first company. And the reason why I struggled so much at that time was I was younger and naive and didn't reach out for help and thought all great entrepreneurs always start out doing everything themselves. And naively, that wrecked my confidence

because I wasn't as successful as I would have liked because I was sort of internalizing this idea and this belief that was incorrect. And the second time is the first year of college, where I had transitioned from comfortable high school environment, knowing everyone into my first year of college. I went to a college where I didn't know anyone. And thought I would sort of everyone would identify with me and I would make a whole host of friends very quickly.

And when that didn't happen, I went through a real, real battle. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I wouldn't say I was far off. I went through this real confidence battle of who I was and the importance of other people responding to you and you know at that age just trying to be comfortable with myself and I was I was I just had my confidence shattered. How did you turn that around? you turn that around? Well, I turned it around by sort of diving really, really deep into school and learning. And as I was learning, I gained this new sense of confidence in myself that I could excel.

At, that was just really was like, okay, well, socially this isn't working for me. I'm gonna take another tact, which is I'm gonna dive stronger into school and studying and if, and that success gave me more confidence. And if, and that success gave me more confidence. So I'm a firm believer that you can always alter your beliefs. You can take action or you can access knowledge and it sounds like you really moved into the knowledge and then built confidence from that success,

which is so great to see and thank goodness that term. But it also reminds everyone that no matter where you are with your confidence, how you're feeling today, where you are in your career or life, there is unlimited potential ahead of you. You just need to surround yourself with the right people, access the information and start taking action like showing up here today.

Jason, where can everyone find your book? The Sofilada persuasion is out September 10th. It is available for pre-sale now, wherever books are sold, Amazon, et cetera, it'll be in bookstores starting September 10th. And yeah, hopefully everyone enjoys it. And for anyone that wants to follow you on social media, where can they find you?

I'm at Ad Jason underscore Harris on Twitter and Instagram. Thank you so much, Jason, for writing the book, for being here and for being so vulnerable. It was great having you on today. Thanks for having me, really appreciate it, Heather. All right, everyone, hang tight. I'm gonna be right back. I hope that you got a lot out of Jason's expertise and his book, The

11 Habits, that will make anyone a master influencer. I definitely did. And I definitely used it to tweak my TEDx talk. So I hope it improved it. I hope that you guys got some great takeaways there. One thing I want to share with you in case you don't know, Pluto TV is the leading free streaming television service. You get to watch over 100 TV channels and thousands of movies on demand all completely free. Pluto TV doesn't even ask you for a credit card. You don't even need to sign up to watch for free. Pluto TV is the easy and completely legal way to watch your favorite TV shows and hit movies for free. What are you waiting for? Never pay for TV again by downloading Pluto TV. You can download Pluto TV for free on all of

your favorite devices today including your phone, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Apple TV, Smart TV, PlayStation, and anywhere else you stream. Oh my gosh, there's a lot of options. Okay, so I wanna get back to some of the questions I've been getting lately, and I got a DM on LinkedIn from a listener who said, hey Heather, I'm embarking on my next journey, and now I'm getting into the podcasting world.

I'd love to rack your brain. What advice would you give your 25 year old self starting on your first podcast? Well, first of all, that's 20 years ago and I don't think there were a podcast. If there were, I didn't know what they were and I didn't have one. However, if I'm looking at a 25 year old now,

the first thing that I would say is be yourself, right? Rock you. Don't try to imitate somebody else. Don't do a show just like someone else. I remember someone saying to me, how do I like your show because you don't just do the interview. Well, it's kind of cool to bring your own flavor

to something, right? So just think of what's special or important or different about you and how can you bring that flavor to your show. You know, maybe you're thinking, oh, I'm, I have an interview to a lot of people. I don't know how to do that. Well, maybe that's not what you do first. Maybe you share some of your challenges and things that you're going through to allow

others to know they're not alone, but just don't try to be a ripped off version of someone else. Just try to rock you, be you. The other thing is, if you are interviewing people, I got this advice from my friend, CalFussman, be present and be you. Don't read a script and then start thinking, what's the next question? I, and start cutting people off to get to your next question. Have a conversation the same way you would if you had someone over your home for dinner and you were genuinely interested in them, right? We want to learn, we want to understand and being curious really helps. So be present, have a genuine conversation and when you show up and take that pressure

off, not only does the show sound better, but you might learn something and you might make a really cool connection with another person. And if you can, always, always, always, anytime you can, go face to face. It's always a better show, in my opinion. So that's how I feel about if I was 25 and doing a podcast, which, oh my gosh, I would like the skin of my 25 year old self, but other than that, I'll keep this brain and the experience I have.

Okay, one other quick question I wanted to answer, I got a text from my good friend Don over the weekend and it said, hey, having major confidence struggles, please help. And I called my friend Don and I said, what's up? Don works for a major company and, you know, and there's a lot of politics in corporate America.

And when you're at the very highest level, there's extra politics and passive aggressive BS that goes on in a lot of companies and he was dealing with some similar things that I had dealt with. Someone being passive aggressive, someone trying behind the scenes to manipulate and not value him. And similar to what I had done, he had kind of decided to back it up a little bit. That's what he called it. I call it shrinking yourself. When you start seeing people get annoyed with you, you can either stand up and be a bolder, stronger version of yourself.

Or sometimes, we choose to shrink up a little bit and say, oh, maybe if I back off a little bit, they'll kind of refocus and things will be okay. Well, I found that never works. It didn't work for my friend Don. It didn't work for me. Don, didn't work for me. So that was kind of a conversation I had with him, which is who did they hire?

They hired a strong, confident version of you. That's who they wanted and that's who they got. Now here we are having a conversation because of a lot of BS that's going on in your office and in this corporation and you're changing you. So you're not showing up as the best version of you any longer, that's not fair to you, not fair to your team,

nor to the company that hired you. Instead, start showing up as that bold, innovative, strong you and watch how things around you change because if you're not valuing yourself, why would anyone else value you? And in order to do that, I wear my power colors, my best suit, my best outfit. I write notes on my shoes.

I listen to my playlist when I'm coming into work. I have affirmations I read. I am confident. I am enough. I am smart. Whatever works for you, do it with repetition, frequency, cells. You know, give yourself that messaging you need

to pick yourself up. Surround yourself and have people on speed dial that message and you need to pick yourself up, surround yourself and have people on speed dial that are light years ahead of you, not the ones that are gonna try to put their self-limiting beliefs on you and reach out to them before you walk into these meetings to remind yourself, oh yeah, I can get this done. And then in closing, I asked on, what are you really afraid of? Why are you really shrinking?

And he said, I guess I'm really afraid of getting fired. So I said, let's play that out, right? So if you do get fired, Don, then what happens? And we played out that worst-case scenario and wouldn't you know? His entire team had been removed from another company. There was a huge changing of the guards and they were all asked to leave.

And he ended up starting the next couple of years in business and another industry and another company and it worked out unbelievable for him. So once we kind of made him familiar again with, hey, you've seen this movie, you were kicked out of another organization and it actually ended up being a blessing and things got so much better for you.

So if you can't really show up as the real you anymore, then that might not be the right place for you. So show up as the real you, see if everything around you changes. And if it doesn't, maybe you're gonna be led to that next great opportunity, because that's what I've learned. Showing up as my best self is always the answer, and that's the answer for all of us. Show up as you, rock it, own it, and good things will happen and I can't wait to see you next week. At a time when change is constant and we are pulled in far too many directions. We need a way to stay present to life and to increase our ability to remain calm, think clearly and maintain our well-being.

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