Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The Key To Staying Positive When The Unexpected Challenge Inevitably Hits With Heather! Episode 258

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

Have you been wanting to work with me? My annual Elite Mastermind is open NOW! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermi...nd  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Dealing with disasters   Making room for positivity   Taking a chance, and having TRUST Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator My episode on the Dr. Phil show is LIVE this Thursday Show Notes:  Everything can change SO QUICKLY! When life altering moments occur, they can SHIFT our perspectives and remind us of our gratitude. This week, I want to remind you to have faith in yourself and trust that you’re headed in the right direction. When I heard the news of the hurricane I was scared. However, it made me realize that how I show up for myself and for others matters more than ANYTHING! We have to keep moving forward with confidence. There is ALWAYS room for new possibilities and opportunities when we open ourselves up to positivity!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:24 Learn more at amazon.com slash Prime Day. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals. If you're come at first aid, it's at you up for better tomorrow. After no sleep, I'm ready for my close-up.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited. You're back here with me this week. Okay, so it's been a crazy week. And you know, it's interesting. I was reminded this week how everything can change so quickly. The things that you think are a big deal, really aren't. And gaining perspective is so incredibly powerful. It didn't come in the greatest way this week, right? Sometimes you can have these moments that are incredible, like when my condo closed and I couldn't believe it was actually
Starting point is 00:01:10 happening, I was so happy, right? That was like this incredible moment that changed my life. But there are other moments like with the hurricane this past week that changed so many people's lives, you know, across entire state of Florida and even beyond Florida. So a couple of things I wanted to say about that. Number one, give yourself some perspective. Whatever it is that you're freaking out about right now because I know most of us have a lot of pressure on ourselves, you know, worried about the economy,
Starting point is 00:01:39 the negativity in the world, maybe bullying that your kids dealing with at school or bad grades or, you know, not enough money or you don't like your job or who knows what it is, you're mad at your spouse. We all have our own challenges, but when these big moments happen that are potentially life changing and life changing for so many people, not in a great way for most people. You know, it's a really powerful seismic ship.
Starting point is 00:02:08 So here's where my mind is at with this thing. If you've been with me for a while, you know that in the past couple of weeks, I've moved, which has been crazy, and exciting, and I'm so blessed and so lucky and so grateful, right? This is one of those amazing thank you, God. I prayed for this for the past year, more than a year,
Starting point is 00:02:29 and I'm so grateful it came to fruition and so thankful. So that's been great. But obviously with any type of big move, after 17 years living somewhere, I had tons of stuff to go through and purge, and a lot of it was emotional and sad, kind of reliving choices that I've made
Starting point is 00:02:48 that I'm not happy with now that I'm saying, gosh, in hindsight, I should have made that choice so much sooner or just trying to learn from the past 17 years while I lived in that condo and reflecting on things, which is super powerful and helps you with self-awareness. So wherever you are, you don't have to move to do that, right? I shouldn't have waited that long to go through
Starting point is 00:03:11 everything in my house. I should have done that as an exercise once a year. However, I am far from perfect and I'm gonna give myself some grace. I hadn't, right? So anyhow, it ended up being this emotional, interesting experience where I decided to get rid and purge anything that did not bring me joy.
Starting point is 00:03:30 And so if I looked at a piece of paper, an old letter, a card, a vase from someone, a gift, if it didn't bring me joy, it was out, which meant so much went out. Crazy amount went out, which I'm so grateful for now that I'm in my new place and I don't have this stuff that's weighing me down, connecting me to a past that isn't my life anymore. Right? So totally encourage you to do the same. I thought that was such great advice. You know, if something doesn't bring you joy, let it go. Let go of it and move on and find the things that do bring you joy. So I went through this whole emotional move and I'd been exhausted just because moving is exhausting and you know losing
Starting point is 00:04:15 things, not being able to find things, unpacking, whatever. And then I got this great opportunity simultaneously to go on the Dr. Phil show, which meant I had to find someone to take care of my son literally overnight. I had to jump on a play and go for a couple of days out to LA not knowing what I'm walking into yet again. Just take a chance and go for it and see what happens, which I'm sure you're listening to this and you're thinking, oh Heather, come on, it's going to be great. Here's the thing that sometimes people don't understand. When you just take a chance, like it's not planned for, it's not prepped, you don't have a lot of information,
Starting point is 00:04:51 you never know how you're gonna be portrayed when you do TV because you sign your life over to them. Literally, you sign a piece of paper that says they can edit it any way they want, they can use any footage they find of you anywhere, right, and stitch it together, any way they want, they can use any footage they find of you anywhere, right, and stitch it together anyway they want. So you're just taking this chance that it's gonna work out
Starting point is 00:05:12 and you're just trusting that this is meant for you. The way that I looked at it, I remember another moment like this was when I got the Steve Harvey show and I was nervous, right? I was the only person going on a show that had difference of opinions because the producer told me that that I was the one that kind of stuck out
Starting point is 00:05:33 and thought differently than the people that were gonna be on the show with me. So I knew I was kind of gonna be singled out as different. I also didn't realize everyone was personal friends with Steve Harvey, but me, I had never met him before. Right. But these are the things like you just jump on a plane and take a chance and say, Hey, if I have the opportunity to help someone or help people to see something or
Starting point is 00:05:55 bring a different viewpoint or vantage point to something, then that's what I'm here on earth to do, right? I'm here to shed a light on things and and bring my unique perspective to the table because I think it's really valuable. Right? I think everybody has a lot of value, but if you're hard to the right place and you're trying to do good, I believe you need to take those leaps of faith and chances. Now listen, it has not always worked out flawlessly and perfectly for me, as you know, if you've been with me for a while, there's definitely a lot of bumps on the way, but we're gonna find out about Dr. Phil this week
Starting point is 00:06:30 because I did get a call just so you know, you're probably listening to this on Wednesday. The show is live on Thursday. So if you're hearing this on Wednesday, first week of October, yes, the Dr. Phil episode that I'm on is coming out on Thursday, I have no idea what you're gonna see because I haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:06:50 And everyone keeps saying to me, oh, I'm sure you killed it. It doesn't matter. Let me just tell you this. It doesn't matter if you think you did great when someone asked you a question. You don't know how things will be edited. You don't know how things are gonna be framed up, right?
Starting point is 00:07:05 There's a possibility it could be framed up as I was a victim in the workplace, which is not my angle at all. I shared that with the producer. I don't want it set up that way, but you have to turn over control to everybody else. So I don't know. I hope it comes out great.
Starting point is 00:07:21 I do know this, and these are the things that I go back to. If you're able to help one person, then you did your job, right? Yeah, it was a bit of a hassle being the first week that I moved and displacing my child and not unpacking and not setting up FPL and Internet and whatever. I mean, there were some issues around it, but we made it work and I hope so much that it all works out for the best. But anyways, these are the things that I had been worrying about. It was unpacking and changing my address and figuring out getting furniture
Starting point is 00:07:54 because I don't have enough furniture for this place. And should I jump the shark and start ordering things or just putting all this pressure on myself and I'm doing so much around moving. I'm not working enough right now and my pipeline's gonna dry up and okay cut to two huge brands reached out to me during this time to hire me for speaking engagements for fourth quarter which is amazing and totally unexpected and massive audiences one of them is 16,000 people huge brand can't wait to tell you who that is, once I sign the deal, which hopefully is happening this week
Starting point is 00:08:28 in the other ones, and even bigger brand, not as large an audience, but one of the top five brands in the country. So super good things, right? These are things that have I had known a year ago where I'd be sitting right now, I would be overwhelmed with joy, but in the moment, things can get overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:08:46 And you're like, not, you haven't slept a lot. And you're discombobulated and nervous. It can seem overwhelming. That's the moment we need to pause and say, okay, the me from one year ago, the me from five years ago, right when I got fired. I would have been on the floor crying. I would have been so excited to know that five years from now,
Starting point is 00:09:07 I'd be in a new place with my son, my son would be thriving in school, the pandemic would be behind us. Speaking business would be back, live events would be back. I'd be killing it, like all these, I got Dr. Phil, right? These sound like exciting things, but in the moment, it can be overwhelming and you can lean into fear, right?
Starting point is 00:09:26 It happens to everybody. Definitely happens to me. Cut to a hurricane. And that was the perspective moment for me to say, why in the world am I sitting around here worrying that my son doesn't have a trash can in this bathroom because I haven't had a chance to buy him one yet? a trash can in this bathroom because I haven't had a chance to buy him one yet. Why am I getting stressed out about these things that make no sense in life? What really makes sense is the people that you love that you spend your time with, who you show up as a human being in the work you do in the world, doing good, caring for others, showing up with love in your heart, your health, and the health of the people that you love. That's really, those are the most important things in the world, right? Those are the things at the end of our life will look back on and say, was I a good person? Did I bring joy to everything?
Starting point is 00:10:16 You know, I did in my life, did I try my best? Did I lead with an open heart? Did I have clear intentions to do good and show up as that real version of me. And am I proud of that? Those are the important things, not all this, like how will I look on Dr. Phil? Will they set me up wrong or that stuff doesn't really matter? And I know that now, sitting here today because when we heard the hurricane was coming for Florida, it definitely scared me. You know, I stayed through, I've lived in Florida,
Starting point is 00:10:46 gosh, for 20 years now, that's so crazy. I've lived in Florida for 20 years, 17 of which I've lived in Miami, and I will tell you that I only stayed through one big hurricane. It was a category three, and I swore to myself I would never stay through a hurricane again. True, true story. Here's what's interesting.
Starting point is 00:11:07 So this is years ago, this is, this is even before I had my son, I think. Gosh, this is a long time ago. A huge storm had come right when I moved to Miami. I went to one of my really good friends' house in Fort Lauderdale, and we stayed through the hurricane together. It was terrible, really scary. I mean, our cars were wrecked. I mean, it was bad, really bad. And that, our cars were wrecked. I mean, it was bad, really bad.
Starting point is 00:11:27 And that's the thing with the hurricane. You don't know. Today I'm sitting here, we're fine. The hurricane hit Florida. It was devastating to the west coast of Florida and to central Florida in many other parts, but Miami was spared. There was just no way to know.
Starting point is 00:11:42 So my point is, when natural disaster happens, those are real things to worry about, not worrying about how you're gonna look on a doctor fill up the soda or if it's gonna be worth the trip that you made. Right, that is ridiculous. And I get that now, but I know it's so easy for all of us to get stuck in the day to day and the minutia that doesn't really matter.
Starting point is 00:12:04 So I'm just sharing this with you to remind you, no matter where you are, the most important thing is that you're healthy, that you're with people you love, that you're showing up as that best version of you leading with love, leading with joy in your heart, and caring for the people that are special in your life,
Starting point is 00:12:19 and that, you know, if you have health and a roof over your head, that is, that's worth celebrating, right? I'm sitting here right now. I'm so grateful that we're okay. I'm so grateful that our new home didn't get completely wrecked from a hurricane. And for everybody that reached out to me with concern, sending beautiful notes or text messages or calling, thank you so much. You know, having people show up to say that I care about you and I hope you're okay and I want to encourage you and if you need something please
Starting point is 00:12:50 call me, maybe want some more. All those things are just, it's so even bad situations allow for beautiful moments to occur within them. And that's kind of how I felt. So loved, so cared for and so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. And as you know, if you're with me for a while, I'm on the board of directors for a company, a medical technology company, in Naples, Florida called HealthLink. And of course, as soon as I saw that it was
Starting point is 00:13:17 the West Coast getting hit and not us, I realized my friends, my fellow board members, you know, this company is knee deep in this massive destruction and still with no power and destruction everywhere and my friends with no power and it's just it is so sad and so scary having gone through one hurricane not as bad as this one, this one was horrible to just see true destruction and natural disaster is incredibly scary and those are real, real problems. So I hope that gives you a perspective shift. It definitely gave me one, for sure.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Things can change in a day. Things can change in a week so drastically and change your mindset. So going into this week, knowing that the Doctor Phil Show is coming out on Thursday, I'm not worried. That doesn't mean it's gonna be good, right? It might be awful. I have no idea. But I just, I don't have that same feeling that I had before where everything was contingent upon this. Right, I was building it up so big in my mind. Instead, now I just know I'm really grateful and
Starting point is 00:14:20 lucky that my son and I are safe. I'm grateful for all the amazing people that reached out to support me and encourage me. I'm grateful that my friends on the West Coast, you know, while they're struggling with no power, no one had any massive loss or health issues, you know, just overall trying to look at the good that is out there. And I hope that you can do that too today. National Security Experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. and I hope that you can do that too today. Substations are attacked power could be knocked out from coast to coast for up to 18 months. Imagine a black outlasting, not days, but weeks or months, your life would be frozen right in time right when the power goes out. That's why having your own solar power is more important than ever.
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Starting point is 00:18:02 For a limited time, you can grab native path and arctic krill oil for as low as $23 a bottle. Just go to fixwollenfeet.com slash confidence. Okay, so I was in church today and the message that our pastor was leading with a couple different things. A lot around love he was talking about and the love that Jesus has for all of us. You know, when you think about that first love in your life, that's really the love from God for you that every single one of us is loved. And when you go back to that, that's such a beautiful, safe, amazing feeling. And when what an amazing gift that we all have and knowing that we all have that love, it's our duty and birthright to bring that love forward and to lead with love and to show up with love in our hearts
Starting point is 00:18:52 and lead a joyful life and give love and good to others. And so often we forget. And so he was talking about whether it be that you walked into church today and you didn't, you know, sit where you wanted to or, you know, you waited in line because the parking getting into our churches, there's a lot of people there. And so, you know, maybe you're frustrated, but he's challenging all of us to see everything through the eyes of love. And I had to stop
Starting point is 00:19:19 right there because my son has an incredibly active social life right now at 15 years old, which I'm super happy for him. I think that's amazing. Obviously, I'm literally knee deep and I'm packing everything, organizing things, like ordering things I am, I have not been going out at all the past couple of weeks. Of course, that doesn't stop him. Live your best life. That's what I tell him all the time, all right? You go for it, pal. But I was so annoyed last night because he came home late and I said, you know, I can't go to sleep until you get home. Gosh, it's just not nice. That's not nice. When you know I'm tired and you know, I have to work. It's just not very thoughtful. And I was frustrated with him. But as I heard, my
Starting point is 00:20:00 pastor today talking about leading with love, it reminded me, oh, hang on, my drop moment, instead of sitting here complaining that my son came home late, I should be really grateful I have a son. I should be grateful I have a healthy son. I should be grateful I have a home that didn't get destroyed in the hurricane that he comes home to.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Right like this seismic shift that we all have the opportunity to have at any point in time, I was realizing it today when he was preaching about love. So hoping that you are feeling the love that God has for you, that you have in your heart, and that you can bring forward to others, I definitely am feeling that way today. And I'm so grateful for that reminder. I hope this reminder helps you. It was so encouraging to me. The other message that he shared, which is really powerful. And this is around business, life.
Starting point is 00:20:52 It doesn't really, you know, in any type of leadership position, leading as a parent, right? Leading in any community at your church, leading at work, it's easy as a leader to want to correct people, right? You want to say, ooh, listen, you missed the mark on this one. And I actually almost did the same thing to my social media team the other day.
Starting point is 00:21:10 We had a post that didn't perform well. I'm always diving into data and analytics, right? Because data does not lie. You want to take a look at data and allow that to help guide you in business decisions. And we had a post that did terrible. And I almost flipped the post over to my social media team with a link to it to say, guys, it's completely underperformed what the heck is going on.
Starting point is 00:21:30 Something like that. By some grace of God, I did not do it. And I thought, I should probably wait 24 hours until I calm down. I was just annoyed. Why, after we've been working together for a couple of years, we should be performing at a higher level, right, high expectations. Somehow, I got myself to stop and say, I'll do it in 24 hours. Of course,
Starting point is 00:21:49 24 hours later, I wasn't upset about it. It was not a big deal. And I figured I'd talk to them about it on our next, we have a monthly meeting to review performance. I thought, I'll just bring it up then and find out why they think, you know, that one just didn't do as well. And the second part of the message today was connect then correct as a leader. Meaning don't just throw the note, hey, why did this do so poorly? Blah, blah, blah. Right, that's attacking and negative
Starting point is 00:22:17 when you're trying to correct someone in that regard. But instead connect with them. Right, hey, did you have anyone that was in harm's way with the hurricane? How are you doing, right? Like, what's going on in your life? Because you never know, connect with people,
Starting point is 00:22:33 be there for them, empathize with them, ask what's happening. We have no idea what someone else could be going through. And to that point, so funny, so many people because of where you live in the country didn't even realize there was a category for hurricane coming out Florida. So I had people reaching out to me the day
Starting point is 00:22:54 that the hurricane was hitting, which it was chaos here. Schools were canceled, everything's closed. It was, you know, high winds that already picked up here was like 40-mile an hour winds. We didn't know which way the hurricane was going. So it was a scary day. And people are sending me emails and calling me for work. And they're completely unaware of what's going on. And somebody had sent me something that they had wanted a response to, and we're kind
Starting point is 00:23:20 of mandating a response back. And I responded from my phone because I'd not have my computer up, hey, I don't know if you're aware, but there's a category of four hurricane coming at Florida right now. We're under a state of emergency. We're going to have to hold off on this conversation so I see what happens and make sure that we're safe. But after that, I'm happy to get back to you, right? So just a good reminder that it's so important to connect with people before we correct, before we attack, before we assume in business and in life, right? Find out where someone's coming from and I actually had a conversation with a woman that I coach and she was sharing with me something so similar. She has a new report on her team who, you know, she doesn't have all the intel and what's going on with him.
Starting point is 00:24:06 He had been acting in a bizarre way and she had reached out to him to basically say, are you okay? Well, it turns out he wasn't. He had received a potential negative response or information from a doctor and he was really uncertain into his health. And until he got that clarified and found out he was okay,
Starting point is 00:24:27 he was not behaving like himself totally normal. Right, but had she just come at him with correction, you know, hey, you didn't hit your number. Hey, what's going on with this? Why are the reports not in whatever it may be? You know, that would be a tough pill for someone as well. So I love that message, not only that we are all loved by Jesus, and our first love is from before we were even born,
Starting point is 00:24:50 and we are so blessed to have that love. It's also our duty to bring that love forward. Love by neighbor, right? Shope is that best version of ourselves? Bring joy, bring love to everything and everyone in the world. And when we lead like that, of course, we're gonna connect and then correct. So hoping from a leadership position for you,
Starting point is 00:25:10 whatever you're leading, whoever you're leading, whether it be at work, at home, for your family, for your kids, for your business, with your colleagues, connect first, then correct. It's such a more powerful way of living. It's such a right way to lead, right? So, hoping that that message lands with you as firmly as it did with me. Say you have a business idea, but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending
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Starting point is 00:27:23 so I'm near, you know, next to real people, super exciting. And one of the things we always do is they'll say, okay, air cheers, right? Like, you don't want to touch people because, of course, we're still in this weird world, but, you know, either air high five or air cheers to people around you, just to be like, hey, I see you, you know, great job. Keep going. Proud of you. I love that stuff. I'm totally, I'm here for it, right? I'm cheering everyone on. I'm just excited to be in the energy of other people and working hard, doing something I love.
Starting point is 00:27:52 It's so fun, we're so lucky. And so I was doing that in this, some women's next meet who I've never seen before, right? Which happens sometimes, sometimes it's people I know. Sometimes it's not, and so I'm sitting next to a woman on a spin bike I don't know. And so I air cheers her to say like, hey, I see you, you know, great job. And she leans over and says, hey, I just want to let you know I'm injured.
Starting point is 00:28:17 And the reason why I'm not standing up and running when you guys are running is because I'm in pain. And that's why I'm sitting here and she was trying to explain this whole thing to me. PS in the middle of class with music so loud in the instructor yelling out direction to us. And all I could think to myself is I'm not judging her. But like I, dude, I'm the biggest cheerleader and advocate for others that I know. I'm here for you.
Starting point is 00:28:44 Like I'm here to cheer you on and say, take care of yourself. I hope you're okay, but I'm proud of you for showing up if you're injured. That's hard, right? And so I just looked at her and I said, I'm not judging you. I won't judge you.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And it was this powerful reminder for me that, wow, like I wonder what's going on in her life. I wonder what villain she needs to overcome, right? Whether it be in her family, her friend circle, her job, I don't know, or maybe just in her own head. But her first reaction was that she had to justify to me and explain something away. No one has to do that, right? Number one, I'm not judging.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Number two, if I was, then I'm a tool, right? Like who's this? She should be thinking, that lady's judging me. She's a jerk. Like something's wrong with her. That would be, you know, the way people see and treat other people is more about them than it is about you, but she was so off base.
Starting point is 00:29:33 I'm like her biggest cheerleader, and I let her know that in the moment. Hey, I'm not judging you. Number one, if I'm judging you, then that means I'm really judging myself and that means I'm really scrutinizing myself, right? And I'm inviting that judgment into my life. No thanks, hard pass. That is rare view like it in my past. I don't think like that. I don't want to judge other people. If I ever catch myself being judgmental at all, which of course I have,
Starting point is 00:29:59 I pump the brakes immediately and I think, would I want someone judging me? Heck no, they don't know my old story. And oh, I remember, okay, then I can't be judging someone else. Right? So, it was just this interesting reminder that I had today. Also, that we think so often, and this is so true. We think so often, everybody's fixated and focused on us. Guess what? I wasn't even thinking about her, right?
Starting point is 00:30:22 Like, I was in my zone, I was excited, I was just having fun. I wasn't sitting there wondering what was going on with her. It didn't even cross my mind. And so 99.9% of the time, we think other people are judging us. Maybe we think other people are scrutinizing us or wondering what we're doing. People are focused on themselves, their problems, their potentials, their opportunities, and their life.
Starting point is 00:30:46 So just remember the next time that you think somebody's being judgmental of you, there's equally as good chance that they're not even considering you in that moment. Because that was what happens today. And hopefully I was able to encourage her, but today I definitely hope I could. But I will say this, when I was younger,
Starting point is 00:31:04 I did judge people a lot. I remember when I was really insecure when I was in my early 20s, and I had gone through having some bad bosses and you know, some negative situations occur, I would judge other people, right? Like, oh, that person, you know, I'd have a chip on my shoulder,
Starting point is 00:31:19 that person has it so easy because they came from this, or like, I would create and craft all these stories in my mind. And over time, I've just learned that the more I behave like that, the more I invite judgment into my life, the more I scrutinize and put myself down. And I'm not about that anymore, right? Like fire the number one villain.
Starting point is 00:31:38 And if that villain is you, fire that one too, and start treating everybody as equals and let people do them and you do you. That's a beautiful thing about this world is that you can do it any way you want, but comparing yourself to others that is disaster waiting to happen. I don't need to compare myself to other people.
Starting point is 00:31:59 I don't want to compete with them. I don't want to judge them. I want to lead with love. I want to connect first. Then correct. I want to show up with joy Regardless of how others show up and keep my expectations out of it, right? If your goal is to show up is that best version of you Doesn't really matter how others show up right? Just keep putting that good energy out there. Keep other show up, right? Just keep putting that good energy out there, keep leading with love, keep being that best version of yourself and watch how things will unfold in such a beautiful way for you. Not every day, right? We still haven't seen Dr. Phil people, we still have no idea what's about to happen there. I'm just kidding. But, you know, it's not all going to be perfect, but there's
Starting point is 00:32:42 going to be countless opportunities for us to improve ourselves. And that's how I choose to see it now. When these challenges or plot twists show up in life, it's an opportunity to strengthen my fate. It's an opportunity to turn within and challenge myself and say, all right, radical accountability, how can I do this better? How can I learn from this?
Starting point is 00:33:03 How can I grow from this? How can I grow from this? And the more I've slept and, you know, and the more I'm around people that love and support me and I'm doing good work, those things are easier to do, but we all have those low moments, like when the hurricane's coming and that, we start white knuckling and freaking out. And that's okay too, we're only human.
Starting point is 00:33:21 And we definitely all make mistakes myself included. Okay, so I know that I mentioned that, you know, to give yourself a moment and think about where you were one year ago today and how proud you would be if you could be that one year ago version of yourself knowing where you are today or even better how about you five years ago, right? Five years ago for me is when I got fired. And I had no clue I was gonna write a book, Confidence Creator. I had no clue I was gonna launch a podcast,
Starting point is 00:33:53 which I did in 2019. I had no clue I was gonna give a TEDx talk that would get promoted to TED. I had no clue I was gonna sign with Harper-Con's leadership and right overcome your villains. I had no clue I was going to land a board seat for a health incorporation or start consulting or be named top 50 keynotes speaker in the world in 2022.
Starting point is 00:34:12 That was mind blowing. But like none of this stuff was part of my big plan. I do believe it's all part of God's plan and that's why I completely surrender and turn it all over to him. His plan is so much greater than mine. And if you haven't done that, consider it, right? Because as I move forward in faith,
Starting point is 00:34:31 my life has improved immensely. It doesn't have to be that hard. So that's just food for thought for you, wherever you are on your journey. But one of the things that I wanted to share that's just so surreal from me is about a year ago, maybe even a year and a half ago. Yeah, it was probably a year and a half ago. One of my friends started connecting me to people at Northwestern Mutual in an effort to, he had done speaking
Starting point is 00:34:58 engagements for the company. It's a very big company. And he said, hey, I think you need to, they need more female voices as does everybody. Me more female voices. He he said, hey, I think you need to. They need more female voices as does everybody. Need more female voices. He said, I think you should start speaking for them. There's huge opportunity for you here. Thousands of employees across the country. It's a great opportunity for you to network in. And I had no contacts there.
Starting point is 00:35:20 Right? So I'm all in. It's a good friend of mine. This is about a year and a half ago. We started working on this. And it is so bizarre how many people have reached out to me, whether it be through the podcast or through my website or on social media on DMs,
Starting point is 00:35:36 just when you start putting an intention out there of a goal and getting clear on it and then taking action steps and then following up and taking chances, writing some things, pan out and some things don't. The shift that starts to happen and the momentum that starts to build, and here we are, a year and a half later, which is crazy, and this week I'm giving my first in-person speech for Northwestern Mutual, super grateful, super excited. Oh my gosh, and it started a year and a half ago, right?
Starting point is 00:36:02 So sometimes things like the doctor-filting kind of felt like it happened out of nowhere. It just came together so quickly within 48 hours, and I didn't reach out to them, right? They reached out to me. But then this situation with my keynote this week, this process started a year and a half ago. So what I want to remind you of, because I'm reminding myself, for sure, is that yes, there are these brilliant moments where things just seem to align and line up and come together and it's so exciting. And what a blessing it is when that happens, but not everything is going to happen that way.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Oftentimes we need to be patient. Oftentimes we need to put the work in. And, you know, it's probably a function of both, right, that there's going to be moments things just come together. And there's going to be moments that were in the grind. And we don't see, and we can't foresee what that outcome is, right? I didn't know six months ago that I'd be giving this speech. I had no idea, but I kept taking the calls and showing up and responding to people messaging, right, and moving the ball down the field, not knowing what that outcome would be.
Starting point is 00:37:06 And sometimes I do that with companies and nothing's happened yet, but I know this for sure and I know this for you. Keep moving the ball down the field. Here's why when you do that, you have that potential of that event coming to happen or that potential of something more ahead of you, if you don't move it down the field, you've stopped everything in motion, and you can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back, right? So, I'm number one, I'm so happy my friend started connecting me into these people a year and a half ago. I'm so grateful for the people that reached out to me and encouraged me and started introducing me to more people. I'm so grateful that I people that reached out to me and encouraged me and started introducing me to more people.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I'm so grateful that I kept moving the ball down the field and showing up for the discussions and having the meetings and taking the calls so that we could end up at this place where we are, where I'm giving my first in-person keynote for the company and who knows what that's going to lead to next, right? You never know what door that might open. You've just got to keep moving it forward, taking the chances, betting on yourself, leading with love, connecting before correcting. Okay, so that's my message for you today. I hope in some way that it helps you. I hope in some way it helps you to remember to keep creating your confidence because you are worth it. And the best is yet to come.
Starting point is 00:38:28 I for sure know that wishing the best week ahead for you. Oh my gosh, let me know what you think about Dr. Phil. If you see it, I probably won't be able to watch it because I don't know. I sometimes I get so nervous when I have to see something live at first. I want to hide under the couch. You'll let me know what you think. I appreciate your encouragement. I appreciate your support. If you'd like this episode, please share it, tag me, and when you do, you know I always repost you. I got you. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.
Starting point is 00:39:23 I'm Halataha, CEO of the award-winning Digital Media Empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting.
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