Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The One TRUTH to Elevate Your Mind, Unlock Your Power, & Heal Your Soul with Jon Gordon 15x Best Selling Author & Thought Leader Episode 331

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Attend Heather’s Sales & Confidence Masterclass June 24th & 25th! https://heathermonahan.com/sales-confidence-masterclass/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The Oneness at the center of success, love, and connection The KEY to true teamwork  How your state of mind makes all the difference The real POWER of unity Resources: Website: jongordon.com Website: getonetruth.com Read The One Truth LinkedIn & Facebook: Jon Gordon Twitter, Instagram & Youtube: @JonGordon11 Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now ​​Go to NetSuite.com/MONAHAN and take advantage of this special financing offer Listen to The Millionaire University Podcast! New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off  Just go to fixswollenfeet.com/confidence to get 58% OFF NativePath Antarctic Krill Show Notes:  What is it that holds this world together, forges connections, opens up success, and guides the love and opportunities in your life? That is the concept of Oneness and it is the SOLUTION to fear, isolation, and a low state of mind. Jon Gordon, best-selling author and inspirational speaker, is here to share his discovery on how it all works. Stop struggling with disjointed teams, narcissistic leaders, and energy sucking relationships! It’s time to come together and harness the power of oneness!  About The Guest: Jon Gordon's best-selling books and talks have inspired readers and audiences around the world. His principles have been put to the test by numerous Fortune 500 companies, professional and college sports teams, school districts, hospitals, and nonprofits. He is the author of 28 books including 15 best sellers and 5 children’s books. He is the author of The timeless classic The Energy Bus, The Carpenter, Training Camp, The Power of Positive Leadership, The Power of a Positive Team, and his latest The One Truth. When he’s not running through airports or speaking to businesses, hospitals or schools, you can find him playing pickleball and taking long walks which are when he gets most of his ideas.  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: Get Ready to Face Your Fears with Heather!  Learn the Language of Success Today with Michael Maslansky Heather answers YOUR questions!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get started at Taukaya Tree.com slash start. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com slash start. So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight

is the bottom of this bag of popcorn. It's a whole bag kind of night. It's a whole bag kind of night. It's our state of mind. You understand this. That is a game changer because in one moment, you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens and you rise above it.

When you're in a low state, same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well. And you wind up fighting. Key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind, and understand it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind that moment. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way. And the key is you're in that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off, stay on the roller coaster. And then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our

goals, overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close time. I am welcome back. I'm so excited for you to hear, my guess this week, it's John Gordon. He is the best-selling author, which I mean, he's literally inspired millions, sold millions, worked for Fortune 500 companies, speaks for professional athletes, college teams, professional teams. I mean, so many 14 bestsellers, five children's books. His books include the timeless classic, the energy bus, which is alone has sold over two million copies. The carpenter, which was a top five business book of the year,

training camp, the power of positive leadership, the power of a positive team, the copy being stay positive, the garden. I'm feeling positive just talking about this. This guy is everywhere He's done everything and of course today he's here with us John. Thank you so much for being here Heather it's great to be with you and thanks for having me and agree until let me talk about this new book the one truth that I really appreciate you having me on Well, I'll tell you and I want everyone to know this number one

I read a ton of books, but I'll tell you the garden, we're not talking about the garden today, but the garden I actually listened to it unaudible. I didn't read the hardcover because I toggle back and forth. I loved that book. It was game-changing for me. And then my son read your book about coffee bean,

which to get a 16 year old boy to read a book and then actually walk away from it and say, here's what I took from it here so I can apply it to my life was, I mean, that's life changing. So people need to know about your books and I want to bring your messaging to life. So thank you for being here and sharing it. I appreciate that. And the Gordon really was sort of the precursor to this new book, because without the Gordon, there would be no one truth book that I wrote. And even coffee bean, they're element of the coffee bean

that are also in the one truth, as you probably saw, like we create from the inside out and the power is on the inside. And the garden, the five these from the garden are actually in the one truth in terms of what divides us, what separates us and understanding how these negative thoughts always separate us and divide us and how we have to overcome that to win the battle of our minds

So I'm so glad that the garden impacted you and I wrote that you know wanting to help people that were dealing with fear stress and anxiety And I feel like this is like the next level of love like it was the garden and then this is the next level up Garden is a fable this one's more of a how to book. And then I'm going to write probably one more book that sort of brings the one truth message from a Fable standpoint and tells that story to a Fable. I've had this idea for years to write this book, but I haven't been able to write it. And now I know why I had to write the one truth first. And then I'll write that next Fable. So was this inspired thought that came to you to write the one true?

Oh, totally. Like, it was inspired by the idea that, there's oneness and there's separeness. And everything comes down to that. So when you feel one, you feel connected. You feel love, you feel power, joy, peace. A team that is united and connected is a powerful team. And then we have separeness.

A team that feels divided, disconnected. There's a lot of jealousy, there's egos, they have bitterness. That becomes a very weak team. And so individually when you feel separate, you actually feel weak. When you feel one, you feel powerful. And once you see the world through this lens, everything makes so much more sense. And then really from there, you could actually become a Jedi in this lens. Everything makes so much more sense. And then really from there, you could actually become a Jedi in this world. I was just talking to a majorly baseball manager

just now for an hour, sharing this with him. And as I'm sharing, he goes, God, it's amazing. He's like, you're sharing it at the individual level, the psychological level. You're sharing it at the team level. You're sharing at the organizational level. It applies to relationships like you and your son when you're feeling connected and you're on the same page, you're powerful. When you're arguing and not connected, man, it doesn't feel like you want to be together and there's a lot of powerless feeling. You know, having been apparent with my kids, we're on the same page and connected. It's awesome when we're disconnected. It really stinks. And so these were inspired thoughts that were coming to me all last summer. And I had the understanding of high state of mind, low state of

mind, which is the first part of the book of the book. There's actually three books in one as you know, because you read it and thank you for reading it. There's book one, book two, book three, but it's all in one book. So you could really say section one, but in book one, it's high state of mind, low state of mind. This is the teaching that I shared all last summer with all the pro teams and college teams I was working with sharing this teaching. I didn't write it the book yet, but I was teaching it. High state of mind, low state of mind, good friend of mine, Garrett Kramer taught me that. So I want to give him credit for that. But then I started to see how high state of mind and low state of mind had a lot to do with one is in separateness. When you're one, you

have a high state of mind and you're separate, you have a low state. I also started to realize how from the garden, the negative thoughts cause you to have a low state and bring you down. Think about negative thoughts. Think about fear dividing. The root for the Greek word for anxious means to separate and divide. And so when you feel anxious, you feel separate, you feel divided, you feel weak, you feel powerless. So when we're at the garden, that was really a good understanding of how thoughts separate

you. So I understood that. Then it started to become clear each time walking Heather and like I'm getting these ideas and insights that are coming to me. And I'm going, oh my God, like everything can be explained like this. Let's integrity. I know you're big on integrity. And that's a big word from a leadership perspective. It's essential for teamwork. We did a podcast on that with myself and my co-author Alex, who we wrote the sale, which is all about integrity. It comes from the word integer, which means whole and complete.

So a leader with integrity has wholeness and completeness. They have oneness. There's no gaps in their character. There's no gaps between who they are and what they say and what they do. There's alignment and that's integrity. So there's a lot of power in integrity, but there's a lot of weakness with the leader who has a big ego.

Are you leaders with big egos out there? I know you. He probably know a ton and we know a ton. In your book, you talk about narcissistic leaders. And what's interesting is sometimes, in front of anyone listening right now, I'm interested to have you get into narcissism a little bit. So many of us know narcissistic people, but don't have that label for it or aren't sure exactly what that means. I work for a narcissistic leader for a while. And what's interesting is reading the book, the One Truth, I realized she was separating

everyone from her, the more she would show up in a controlling fashion, in a imperfect fashion, everybody else must be perfect around me. You must do as I say, not as I do. There was this division lack of clarity in my mind as a leader. And I was working for her, had been very confident and very successful in business for years. But as I worked with her, I started becoming a less confident. I was unclear. I was developing anxiety. I was feeling confused. A lot of things that you cover in the book and you really make it very clear that we are not operating as one in that moment that we are not operating from love,

but really from this place of fear. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about narcissistic leaders. The cool thing is as you're, as you're talking about this, like you read it, and then right away, you were able to actually come up with examples and think about leaders, examples from your own experience and knowing your past, knowing your experience, who your leader was, definitely narcissistic, definitely someone who was separate and then made you feel separate. So that's why I love about this book. As people read it, they're going to be like a Jedi where

they're going to be able to like see the world through a lens that actually makes so much more sense and they're going to be able to understand the world, understand situations, understand people, they're going to have clarity. It's going to help them navigate what to do in those situations or what the other person is doing and why they're doing it. And this will give you a clear sense and also have so much more power in doing it. So that's what I love about, I loved about writing it. I love when people are reading it and getting that. Catherine the other day we were meeting with a college coach and the college coach was talking

and Catherine had read the manuscript to help me out a little bit to give me some thoughts. And she goes, oh, that's because you're, you're looking outside and said it inside. And she started giving some of the teachings to the college coach over dinner of which she read. I go, Oh, you read the book, guys, because oh, yeah, so clear. I'm like, yes, once you see it, it's so clear. And once you have that clarity, everything makes so much more sense. And so you're narcissistic leader.

A narcissist actually feels separate. And because they feel separate, they act alone, they go into self preservation mode, because they don't feel like they're part of anybody or any bigger connection. And so they don't care about anyone else, because they feel separate. They only care about themselves. And that's what makes them a narcissist. And they wind up separating themselves from others and making people feel less than as a result of that. But here's what's cool. I wrote about in the book, as you know, at the neurological level, narcissists because of their trauma, their painful experiences, what they've gone through, which makes them a narcissist. There's actually a part of the brain where they cut off certain parts

of the brain from others and they create separation even at the neurological level. So the physical manifestation, the neurological manifestation is a result of the separeness that they actually heal. And because they feel powerless, they now have to have this sense of power. But it's actually very weak power. It seems powerful. It arises, so it seems powerful, but it's actually very weak power. It seems powerful. It arises, so it seems powerful,

but it's actually very weak, because it's connected to self. It's like that barking dog that seems powerful. That's not powerful at all. So it seems like it is, but it's not connected to self. Instead, real power is connected to oneness, a greater power connected to others, community, connected spiritually to God. We are meant to be connected to our Creator, but the narcissist doesn't feel connected to a God or anything. That's why the narcissist believes he or she is God or has to be God because they actually don't feel connected

to a greater power as a result of that. Same thing with ego. You know, ego is the result of feeling separate. And because you feel separate, the ego arises to give you a sense of power and the same thing happens. Now, here's what's wild about narcissists. They also suffer most in most cases from depression and all the symptoms of people who have mental health disorders. And so when someone has depression or bipolar, they have issues where they feel disconnected, alone, and isolated, and they

get depressed. And most nurses actually suffer from the same symptoms, which proves my theory. When you go from oneness to separateness, you go from positive to negative. And as you move from positive to negative, you experience more negative thoughts and more feelings of aloneness and isolation and disconnection. It's amazing. If that person could be vulnerable, could share what they're going through, to be made feel like they're part of something greater, something bigger. If they can find healing and wholeness, which is what the books are all about, they would be completely different, they would act different, and they would respond to the world

in a different way. And they would actually get people to want to work with them, and they wouldn't be such a jerk to people who are working for them. Well, and I hope for everyone listening. And notice how you feel around other people because there are certain people that when you're around, I don't know why I didn't stop back that I noticed. Wow, I don't feel so good about myself. Wow, what's changed here?

You know, and to your point, Brandon, we should always be looking within. But when I would have looked within, I would have said, I'm not doing so well right now. I'm feeling isolated. Regardless, yes, I was around the wrong people in the wrong environment. But first you have to notice how you're feeling before you pick your head up to say, I need to get out of here. All right, I had another Jedi moment that I want you to get into because it was super interesting to me. This idea of oneness and wholeness around teams versus separate individuals just from a time and standpoint I read it during the Eastern Conference playoffs. I happen to be

obviously a huge Miami Heat fan. However, I'm from Boston originally but I've lived in Miami 20 years so I'm now team Miami Heat. During the playoffs there was this one game, I mean obviously there's so many games that we can talk about. They were incredible. The Celtics were favored. I don't know, eight to one over Miami Heat. And there's been so much commentary around them having, you know, all the players drafted. Miami Heat didn't have drafted players. We were seeded eight. They were first or second. Bottom line is this. The Miami Heat beat the Celtics. Obviously, we all know that now. But when I look back, it was one of these moments when I'm reading the book that it hit me.

And this is so interested in your perspective on it, because I know that you are a huge NBA fan. You know, Jimmy Butler is a beast, obviously, but watching him with his team, the Miami Heat, and how much he passes, and how focused he is on the other players, and encouraging everybody else. And in the, you know, after the game, he's been interviewed speaking everything about the other players.

Conversely, the Celtics, who, again, everyone will tell you better players, they should have won. People will say that time and time again, they lost, and when you watched their star player, he turned his ankle, all of a sudden, everything started to fall apart. And it was so shocking to see, it wasn't just that game,

but for me, that game was what hit me when I was reading your book. Am I hitting it the right way, do you think? Oh, you nailed it. I mean, watching the interviews, it was, I failed. And I didn't live up to what I was capable of. I was injured and man, it was so frustrating. It wasn't a team rallying around each other and saying, hey, let's do this together.

The Miami clearly had cohesiveness. They had togetherness. They had unity. They had oneness. And that's why they had power. And I talk about that a lot in the book, like a team that is one and connected will outperform a team with more talent that is not connected, that is not one. That's why all my books over the years,

Power of a positive team, you win in the locker room first, I look back now, I go, oh, that's why they worked. That's why teams who read them actually won championships because they became more connected, which then leads to more oneness, which leads to more commitment, leads to more love, which leads to, let's performing at a higher level together. So everything you're

saying is so true. And Jimmy's that kind of guy, but it also, also starts with Pat Riley. And it starts with Eric Spulcher. I'll never forget years ago Eric reached out to me and said, John, come work with our staff, come speak to our staff. He goes, we want to be a stronger staff together, be more united, more connected, more committed together, so we can better serve our players. I just love that.

He wanted to be stronger as a leadership team, because the team that's not connected at the top will crumble at the bottom. We want to be a stronger leadership team, so we can better serve our players. What a mindset. And now you have guys like Jimmy who become part of that culture. So that culture that you create determines the behaviors the values The habits and the essence of what you're living every day as a team or as an organization And now you find people that fit that culture Jimmy does their players do and then they start working together

And you see guys who aren't drafted, but then rise up to perform at a higher level. Guys who pick each other up when they're not playing well, supporting each other. And it's like, poetry. It's like magic. It's like watching a flock of seagulls or a flock of birds flying together. And you start to see this, this motion happening. And it really is beautiful. It's like the warriors when they were playing at their best together. They were like that. You see what teams talking to the baseball manager today.

You're like, we have a group of guys that are all moving in the right direction. They're all supporting each other. We don't have anybody who's sabotaging our team. One person can't make a team, but one person can break a team. So you get that one person who is actually creating disconnection, that one person can actually sabotage a team. So yeah, I love that you saw that. And I'm a huge heat fan as well, having worked with the organization and knowing how they do things and knowing that it's always about the oneness they create.

Working with Clemson football and Davos Sweeney, he read the book and he said, you know, that's my mission as a coach is that create oneness of mission, oneness of purpose, oneness of execution, and getting the team to be one team who is working together. I love that. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever.

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If you don't know, he's the coach of the Miami heat. I'm proud that you said he reached out to you and wanted health in regards to unifying his team so that they could lead and serve the players because the footage I watched was from a couple of years ago last night and they were highlighting Eric and Jimmy Butler on the court literally so the one of the best players on the Miami Heat and the coach screaming at each other so much so other players were having to pull them apart. It looked crazy to me because I guess I missed that game or I forgot that they weren't always closed. So what were the things that you did when you went in there to help them change culture and create cohesiveness

and oneness? Well, I remember that. And that was actually part of their culture and who they are. Like they're going to have confrontations at time. But that doesn't mean they weren't connected as a team. Here's the deal. When you have a low state of mind in that moment and you're a coach and your player has a low state of mind and you both have low states of mind together. That's never a good thing. It usually reaches and leads to a fight. When you're in a low state of mind as a parent and your son's in a low state of mind, how does that go? It doesn't go so well. Right. But if you're in a high state and he's having a meltdown, you're like, hey, I got this. Let's go. Let's figure this out. But when he's in a low state and you're in a low

state, you're both crying. And so, and I'm speaking from experience because I've been there with my kids, right? No, this, this just hit me. He had a horrible day of couple weeks ago, finals, lack of sleep, everything. He came in crying. I haven weeks ago, finals, lack of sleep, everything. He came in crying. I haven't seen him crying years. And I just dropped everything. I was in a fine mood. Everything. And I was like, listen, come here. Let me hug you. I love you. Let's talk about what's happening. I knew I could handle it. Cut to yesterday. I was super stressed out. I was running late for meetings. And it was just I was not running at my

best. And I snapped at him so hard. He looked at me and said, I'm going to go to the gym right now. And I'll see you when I get back. And I thought to myself when he did that, wow, I'm to your point, he was in a better state of mind where I was in a low one and he was able to remove himself in the situation and it all worked. So think about that. You're in a low state, he was in a low state and it didn't go well, but it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind. And that's a big part of the book. When you understand this, that is a game changer because in one moment, you have a high state, you're fine. The circumstance happens and you rise above it. When you're in a low state,

same circumstance happens and you don't handle it well. And you wind up fighting. So this happens all the time. And the key is to understand high state of mind, low state of mind and understand it's never the circumstance. It's our state of mind that moment. So when Eric and Jimmy were going at it, they were just both in a low state at that time. It didn't mean anything was really wrong. They had a little bit of an outburst.

I'm sure they got together. You have an honest conversation, you have a transparent conversation, you have a meaningful conversation. And then from there, you find greater connection. And then you walk away as one team. I had a coach and a super bowl, incredible player quarterback, right? Struggling during the year a little bit, got together, had a heart to heart about their fears, the expectations, what the world was looking for, what the world was expecting, fear of not meeting those expectations, got together, talked it out.

From that moment on, they were now one team working together. And then they wind up doing amazing things, with a super bowl as a coach and as a quarterback. So that's the power of those kind of moments of coming together after maybe a fight. But I think what happens so often is you have a bad moment, you have a bad game, you have a bad sales call. What happens with a bad sales call? Okay, you have one bad sales call. You're in a low state of mind. It doesn't go well. You get rejected. If you're in a low state, now you start going, what's wrong with me? What's happening here? Oh man, my future is gone. I'm going to lose all this business. I'm not going to reach my targets. I'm not going to reach my goals. And all

of a sudden, you get lower and lower in your state of mind because you have more clutter, more thought, more revved up thinking, which lowers your state of mind and causes separation. Now let's look at a mind that has a lot of clarity. Let's look at a mind that is a high state of mind. There's less thought. There's a less clutter. There's more focus. There's more positivity. I always draw two circles for people. I do this in the book. Three circles, a thousand dots and one circle with three dots in the other, which my will perform at a higher level, the one with the three dots, not the thousand. So that salesperson who made the call and didn't go well, who's rejected, now has a thousand dots. And they are reeling, and they think something's wrong.

So now they move into a slum, more fear, more insecurity. The person who, that has, that has that happen when they're in a high state and something happens when they get rejected, like, yeah, whatever. I'll make the next sale, let's go. Because they're in a high state and they move forward. So it wasn't the rejection. It was their state of mind. So just understanding this allows you to move forward in a more positive way.

And the key is you're in that roller coaster and you're going down the roller coaster in a low state. And so often you want to jump off and you want to escape when it's not going well. Or you have revved up thinking and that makes you want to jump off even more. He is no, just realize what's happening. We just got to a fight, not a big deal. The sales call didn't go well. Okay, what can I learn from it?

The next one will go great. Stay on the roller coaster. And then what happens is you ride it right back up and you'll experience a high state of mind and more success as a result. Like the baseball batter goes over four, over three and over four. Now they're thinking a lot. Now they have a revved up thinking as I wrote. Like the baseball battery goes over four, over three and over four. Now they're thinking a lot. Now they have a revved up thinking as I wrote about in the book. And now they think something's wrong, something's broken. Now they're in a slump and it leads to

worse and worse in terms of their performance. Same thing with that teenager who has a lot of negative thoughts coming in. All of us in there, all these negative thoughts. They think something's wrong with them. Something's broken. And as they've learned in the book, there's nothing wrong with them. There's nothing that's broken. They're just in a low state and a lot of thoughts. The key is to understand what's going on, to get yourself to a higher state. And the more you do this and understand this, then you're able to overcome it a whole lot faster. And you know, Heather, someone who you have a, you know, a teenage drive of kids who are now 23 and 25 and my son struggled over the years. And so did I in the past with depression, anxiety, like this is a must read for people who have kids who are struggling because all these kids are having these same experiences and

naping something's wrong with them. And this is going to help them realize nothing is wrong. And having worked with a bunch of kids who are depressed and even suicidal, I share this with them. All these kids have literally, have literally, they're just even one teaching have transformed and turned around like a 180 immediately, which has been really powerful to see. So you talk a lot in the book about science behind one is meaning in a relationship, whether it be romantic or otherwise, when two people come together that that is the ideal time to heal. Two hearts become one and you talk about this research, which I think is so interesting, makes all the sense in the world. I for myself thought about when I first gave birth, like

one of the biggest moments of love. All I want to do is become a better person. And like, how can I, you know, I want to, I want to be better and like, I'm so connected to this human being. It's such an incredible feeling, feeling. But one of the things that I wonder, John, from this teaching, which I do completely agree with, but I feel like could be confusing. I know so many people in bad relationships out there in the world, right? Like we all do, right? So how does someone decipher for people listening when you're in a bad relationship and you're just staying, because you're thinking, oh, I'm supposed to be in a relationship to heal.

And God wants me in a relationship and I shouldn't be alone. One is together, a relationship together, versus saying, wait a minute, I need to take care of myself and my well-being, and it's okay to be on my own for a while until I can find a situation that is more appealing. When two people are connected and they're having a conversation, a meeting with a conversation, and there's a oneness there.

What happens is, research shows from heart math, there's actually a synchronization of the hearts. They actually start to synchronize together and two hearts become one. When there's a loving relationship, that's happening as well. There's a oneness that flows, that you feel when you feel connected to that person. So I would say relational psychology says that we heal in a loving relationship. So we heal in a loving relationship. But if that relationship is not loving and

That relationship is draining and that relationship is hurting you and that relationship is sabotaging you Guess what you can't heal in that relationship and then you shouldn't be in that relationship So I would say to people if this relationship is helping you heal if you're able to grow in this relationship and sometimes Fight so long the way are going to be part of that growth process. So we might have a fight today, but overall we're moving towards growth. We're talking about our issues. We're working through our issues. We're trying to get better individually and collectively.

And we want to make this work. And we're not the black hole that's sucking up all the energy. And we're not the narcissist that's making the other person feel less than, well, we try to make ourselves feel better if there's a give and take. Then you stay in that relationship, of course. And the goal is oneness. The thing is, as you said, we're trying to always see connection. We are designed for oneness.

As a result of that, we will often then stay in an unhealthy relationship because we're designed for oneness just like in work. If you have a work environment that might be some positive but some negative and you don't feel connected to the company, you then might start sharing and being negative with other people who are negative and you find your little negative tribe because you're looking to connect. But now you have a group of negative people that are still looking to connect,

but it's done in an unhealthy way. So are we creating health? Are we creating dysfunction? Are we growing and healing? Or is the wound getting deeper and greater in the relationship? I do believe that in relationships. You know, we all have wounds, and you're meant to be in a relationship

with someone where you have your wounds. And you're meant to be in a relationship with someone where you have your wounds and you come together and the goal is to heal your wounds together. And that's not easy. That's why relationships are so hard, because we all have wounds. And we all have separation, because of the wound. What is a wound, but a separation of skin?

In the soul, there's a wound of the soul. There's a separation. And the whole point of relationships is to heal the whole in the soul, there's a wound of the soul, there's a separation. And the whole point of relationships is to heal the whole in our soul and become whole and become one. And if that relationship spiritually also with God, that we have this whole in our soul and we're meant to connect with our creator so that God can heal us so we can become one. Now there might be people that say, okay, John, you know, there's God thing. I was thinking about this a lot.

How do I explain this to people? Well, in relational psychology, we know that, okay, you heal in a loving relationship. Can you heal with a stranger? No, you can't heal with a stranger. Has to be a loving relationship. Well, if your higher power is a stranger, then you can heal in that relationship.

That higher power has to be a personal God. It has to be a God of love, a God of forgiveness, a God that loves you. And you're here to receive that love. That's where real healing takes place. And so I think it's great to believe in a higher power that moves you in the right direction away from separateness. It's why addiction programs are powerful because they believe in higher power, a higher power. But as you move from that separateness towards oneness through community, which is a big part of addiction programs too, and then you move towards that higher power, great. But then real healing takes place in the loving relationship between you and the higher power that actually is a God of love

and here to love you. And we're here to receive that love. We do. That's when we start to really heal. And I'm someone who needed love and forgiveness and had a lot of wounds. And I know personally, this is what happened to me. I needed healing. And once I did my life changed and I found more wholeness. And that's allowed me to do this work. And it's why I want to help other people become whole.

There's not about religion. God is not about religion. I'm a follower of Jesus. Jesus was not about religion. Jesus is all about healing and wholeness if you actually study what he taught, what he came for. And so for me, that changed my life, receiving that for the first time

when I was 35 years old, little older, and that changed everything for me. It's so powerful and it's so good and it's very relatable. And I want everyone to hear this quote that I took from John's book. Because really, I was a student of psychology all through college and have studied a lot of science, interviewed a lot of scientists. And I just think that this is so powerful because I've really been having the same epiphany lately.

And I was so glad that you articulated it. When science, psychology, the scriptures and reality point to the same thing. It can't be refuted. You know, it's the truth. And I, it's so powerful to see in this book, you're pulling together research, you're pulling together real life business examples, sports examples, scripture, relationship, your own personal. It seems undeniable when you connect these dots because they're ultimately all same, the same things.

Totally. And I wrote book one and book two. Book one is the higher state of mind, low state of mind. Book two within this one truth book is all about examples of oneness and separateness, real life examples. And then book three, which is basically section three of this book, is all about the solution to the separation. And how do we heal the whole in our soul?

How do we implement the solution? So we don't feel so separate, so we can actually find healing and looking at science, looking at neuroscience, looking at the brain, being in antenna, tuning into the positive versus negative. Fear and love, the two dominant forces, fear divides, love unites, looking at the scriptures as I did.

And the wildest thing about this, Heather, is when I rode this, I didn't know a lot of the scriptures. You know, I'm a person of faith, but there's a lot I still need to learn. There's a lot of growing I'm doing in my faith. So as I was writing this book, I was getting these ideas and these downloads. And then when I would share with people, and I met with a few theologians that were actually, you know, matching my

ideas to scriptures by basically my conversation with them going, Hey, I'm thinking about this. What do you think about this? Oh, yeah, John is right here. It's just here. Like, no way. Oh, yeah, it's also here. And it's also here, I'm like, whoa. So what I realized was that the truth doesn't need, for instance, the Bible to exist. The truth exists without the Bible. The truth is the truth. The Bible just explains the truth that we already know.

And you'll find it actually, if you really do look, you actually find it right there. So I bring up all these different truths that I found that I was thinking about, like take every thought captive. That's in the Bible. But guess what? If we don't take our thoughts captive,

they will take us captive. The renewing of our mind is the big part I share there. And that makes so much sense. We have to renew our mind, which is our soul, and our mind and our soul, the more we renew it, that's what leads to healing. And so talking about that, because everyone has patterns of this functions

of their past and moons that need to be healed. So you might find a Christian that's been saved and they've given their life to Jesus. And at the same time, they're living a miserable life and they're depressed and they're also, you know, really struggling with all sorts of things. So why would that be? Because even though they've been saved in their spirit, their soul still needs renewing and their minds still needs

renewing and they got to change their thinking and the patterns of the past have not been healed. And that's what I explain also a little bit towards the end of the book explaining how we really need to find healing. So I really thought of every possible way, but meeting with these people and then and talking to them and finding out that it was there blew me away. And especially even like I showed in the book, the Old Testament story of Adam and Eve, that's not a Christian story. That's an ancient Jewish story about two frequencies, positive and negative, about separation. Think about it. It's a story of separation because they ate of the fruit of the tree. They were separated from God and each other. That's an ancient Jewish story, a story about separation.

And then when I'm I sure, oh, the problem is separation. And let me share the answer, which is the solution to the separation and coming back to oneness. And it's like, whoa, it's there. It's also there in the Cherokee story of the two wolves. You know, two wolves, positive and negative. That's an ancient Native American story. And yet it represents the truth of two frequencies,

positive or negative. And the same things you'll find in the scriptures that it's a battle between good and evil, two frequencies, positive and negative. There's a power that wants to love you and unite you. There's a force trying to invite you and separate you and weaken you. Which will you choose?

And we have that choice. Again, woven into psychology, pop culture, into ancient teachings, and into our own experience. Because we all know what it feels like. We don't feel separate. We all know there are moments where we feel empty and we have that whole in our soul. And we know we need healing and we have that hole in our soul. And we know we need healing and we don't know where to look. We don't know where to find it. We try to do everything

possible to heal that. And yet we still struggle. We still feel down. And when you find the answer, you got to share the answer. And I really believe that I have found the answer, received it. And it's my job to get it out there and share it to as many people as possible to help people heal, not to convince them of anything, but to help them understand the truth so they can actually live it. Everyone listening, this is not a book about God, right? There's business, there's sports, there's some scripture, but you also bring a component in around energy and the quantum. And I think I'm, so I've been reading so much about this the last few years.

I was completely oblivious to it previously, but for anyone listening right now that isn't familiar if you could share a little bit about what that means. To go really deep, you have to understand who you are and what you're made of. And when you understand that, this makes even more sense.

Because when you think about it, what are you really? When you die, your body turns to dust. So think about that. That's pretty crazy. Like we never really even talk about death. Like one day you hear and the next day you're gone. I think that's really crazy like in this reality. I've lost my mom and dad. Like one day they were here and then they were gone the next day. Like where did they go?

Where did your body go? Your turn to dust. Okay, so what are you? And our body is made of energy. How do we perceive the world? If you really think about it, we see the world and perceive the world and experience the world through electrical impulses, through signals, through wavelengths and frequencies and vibrations, and we interpret to see, to hear these signals

that then we apply meaning to, and then we're able to make sense of this energetic reality we're living. So what I'm convinced of, and what I explain to people is the brain is an antenna, we're energetic beings, and we have a soul and a spirit that is living in this temporary reality, which everyone agrees temporary, but our soul and our spirit is eternal. And it's connected to God's eternal soul and spirit. Well, I should say God's spirit. So we are meant to be one spirit with God. Our spirit and God's spirit is meant to be one spirit. That is the unifying factor. That is the oneness that you feel. And it's interesting.

Namaste means the spirit in me recognizes the spirit in you. So we're spirit. Well, we're spirit and God is spirit. When we become one spirit, that's when we experience the oneness, the love, the joy. That's when we experience our purpose. So we can actually live a more powerful life as we're meant to live by being connected to the one spirit. You're never meant to be

separate from that. The spirit, your spirit is meant to be one. Think about the tree and the soil meant to be one. The tree thrives in the soil. So I'm meant to be separate from the soil. The fish is meant to be in the water. And we're meant to be connected to our creator. And then scripture backs us up and says that nothing could separate you from the love of God. You're actually always connected to that love. The fact that you feel separate is in a lie and illusion that you feel separate, but you're actually always connected to the love of God. What has got one for you? Oneness and connection. What are the forces that we're trying to do on the other side? Separate you, divide you so you feel weak, scared, chronically stressed, worried, and powerless all the time.

And so when you understand the nature of our realities, to experience this energetic reality, and the essence is this battle between oneness and separateness, good and evil, evil divides, good unites, and as you go through this journey, your soul is learning, growing, becoming, and then healing and being restored back to oneness. And that's the purpose of our life. That's our journey. And I truly believe when you understand this, it all makes sense. We've all lived this. We all have a wound. I mean, I've talked to Buddhist. I was a Buddhist. I've talked to friends who are atheists Hey, do we have a hole in our soul? Oh, yeah, like even atheists we we have a hole in our soul

They didn't know where the soul comes from, but they you know, we we have a hole in our soul and How do you hold the hole? Well self love, but your self love is not powerful enough. It's not great enough. I know about you, but I'm an imperfect So my love is very imperfect. It's not great enough. I know about you, but I'm an imperfect. So my love is very imperfect. It's not always great. And sometimes it's conditional. You need an unconditional healing love. Now self love is good though, because it moves you away from that. Brinus and feeling crappy and feeling down in the present, hating yourself. But it's

a step in the right direction. But then we need to tap into that greater love. So again, the awareness of what you are, your soul and spirit and essence, essence, and then you have this energetic reality. Appearance is temporary, but essence is eternal. So every day we're living life from this eternal essence, and we're meant to express that essence very powerfully with love, enjoy, peace, and purpose. And we're not meant to go through life fearful, anxious, worried, and stressed. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify, and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions

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New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Find the millionaire university on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. You have a chapter on having a knowing or a knowingness and that's something that I've struggled. I feel like I go in and out of it and it's very, very frustrating when you're out of it. How do you get yourself to stay in the knowing?

So that's so great because you know, we all have those moments of in and out. We all have those moments of up and down. We all have those highs and lows. We're living in a world of duality. And so we're never gonna be fully, high state of mind all the time. There are people always trying to achieve it,

but there are moments when you experience it. Like the zone state, man, it's awesome. I bet when you're speaking on stage, you feel the oneness of that moment. That's probably when you feel most alive as a speaker. I always call it, that's the magic moment. When you feel like magic, you know you found what you're supposed to be doing. It's so great. And there's a feeling on stage of

oneness because you're not thinking of anything else. And there's this power moving through you. Feel the connection to the spirit. And you're like, boom, and then all of a sudden you come off the stage. And there are moments now thought rushes back in. And then all of a sudden at times you might feel even a little down because you just had this peak high experience and now you feel a little bit. And then it's gone and you're seeking back that moment. And as a speaker, it's the speaker high.

And there's constant moments in our life that we can remember and realize we're in that oneness state. So you're going to have the highs and the lows. So what do I do to stay there or try to get there? Can't do it all the time. That's what I share in the book. That's the tune acronym, T-U-N-A,

trust and truth, unite with love, neutralize and negativity, elevate your thinking. We talk about that. Also the other action plan is the whole acronym and the prayer acronym. We don't have to go through it now, but read the book for those acronyms. And for me, a big part of getting to that one estate is really prayer.

Like, we are meant to practice gratitude and prayer. And what I realized was years ago when I suffered from depression, anxiety, and I finally knew I needed to change because, you know, Catherine was going to leave me if I didn't change. I started taking walks of gratitude and prayer every day. And then by doing that, what I was doing is I was now tuning into the higher frequency. I was tuning into the oneness. The ego was being dissolved. And now I'm tuning into and experiencing more of a oneness with my creator, with God. And I was I'm walking, I'm finding renewing and healing. So literally my mind starts to change, my soul starts to change, I start to feel different.

Eventually, my brain is now being changed because your brain is nothing more than the hardware or it, but it's an energetic hardware. And the more you're tuning into an experience in the oneness, that actually heals your body and brain. And so I want scientists to start studying this because I truly believe this is the direction of healing and the answer to our epidemic of mental health. I'm not a scientist.

I have this theory of these beliefs. I put it out there in the book. I may even not be right. I'm not going to say I'm perfectly right. I think that I'm pointing people in the right direction. I'm where should we should be going and what scientists should be doing and testing and creating. Because I believe the more we can help people experience the oneness, experience this modality of prayer

and doing it every day, meditation and prayer, they'll start to find more healing in their life. And I think we'll find a lot of solutions for that. So the long answer to your short question was, I think, take more time and prayer. Whenever I feel anxious, you know what I do, I say, I trust in you, God. I don't have all the answers, but I know you do. I trust in your plan for me. And I just trust and I surrender. And we've all heard the surrendering prayer. We heard all sorts of prayers like that. Surrender is really powerful. Cause what do you do? You'll let him go over your ego,

of your separeness, and now you're experiencing oneness. And I've won this. What happens? Love flows through you and to others through your oneness. When I meet people, I can always tell, you can tell their heart just by how they make you feel and the oneness that's flowing through them, unless someone's having a bad day and they're in a low state. And sometimes we might judge someone based on their low state. Please, if you see me in an airplane and I'm a little stressed, don't judge me by my low state, although I've got to tell them, but there are moments, I'm in a low state. You don't want to be judged by that.

But we all go there. But the more we take time for prayer and that connection time, the more we'll actually be able to stay and experience the higher state. You know, I, someone pointed out to me the other day, I struggle with the idea of surrender because it sounds scary. Like you're letting go of everything. You're letting go of all control. And for so much of my life as a control freak in recovery now, it's a work in progress. And so someone said to me, how about instead of saying, I surrender to you, God, or I let go of my fears to you or give you my fears, God.

And it was interesting changing one word. I thought, Oh, yeah, that's easy to do. I had no problem. But for me, language was holding me back a little bit from truly surrendering. I love that language. Yeah, you talked about language just now. That's a great way to put it because language creates meaning. And so basically what works for you and what's the meaning behind what you're saying. So you're basically saying instead of surrendering, you're saying, I give you,

right. Or I will, or I will release you. It means the same thing. Yeah. No, I love it, but it's whatever works for you. You know, like, I think religion is always like, you must do it this way. And guess what?

The creative universe has a way to communicate to you individually. And the more you're open to that, and you create that connection, I challenge people. If you don't believe in God, I challenge you just to start surrender and start to pray. And just say, I'm open, I'm willing. If you're real, show me the signs and just start to speak to me. And I guarantee the more you listen, you're open.

As you start to experience the oneness of that relationship, because it's an intimate walk with God. God wants to create a oneness with you and have it in a relationship. I have no doubt we are meant to be connected with our creator. So as you have that oneness, God must start to actually speak to you and through you and give you ideas. Like God wants to speak to you and through you. Like I've written 28 books now and these books come to me and through me and I write them in three and a half weeks and I'm not any special. I'm not more special than anyone else. It's because one, this is my purpose and calling no doubt. You may not get these downloads of books because you're not meant to be a writer. You might get different downloads. But for me, I get them and it's only when I'm silent and still in practice and gratitude that they come in and the more I surrender, guess what? The ideas

come when I'm in that mode because I'm now receiving. And I don't think a lot of you will receive because they don't believe they deserve to receive. They don't trust they're going to receive or they've got the blockages and the lack of faith that keep them from receiving. So you can cry out, you can ask God help me. And you ask, you can trust, but you've also have to allow yourself to receive the blessing that God wants to give you. And the words he wants to give you and the voice he wants to share to you. So I've experienced his first hand as someone who never wrote books, never received much

and then as I started doing a lot of this and really trusting and surrendering, things started to flow and unbelievable, like the ideas that I get. And this book is the result of the connection to oneness, which is then ironic. I would write a book about oneness. And I know you're big on making a difference too. As you become more one, you then want to go help the one. And I find that the more you are experiencing oneness experience, love, that makes you want to help others. Because why?

You now see that other person is part of you. They're not separate from you. So now you want to help them. And that's what I love to do. That's why like any teenagers that's struck, any teenager that's struggling, I will talk to that teenager, because I want to help them.

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That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com slash start. I'm so grateful you brought up receiving. I struggled with that so much. And actually in the book, you've got a chapter about shame and how shame blocks us and sexual abuse and abuse of any kind, but that we don't even realize, like you said, someone could be out there seeking this relationship with God praying for it, but whatever their blocks are within their own life

that they haven't addressed yet, is actually keeping them from receiving the kinds of blessings you're describing. Totally, totally, and again, we don't receive. So your job is to ask, your job is to trust, and then be open to receiving. Don't cut off the flow of abundant and positive energy and the love and blessings that are meant for you.

Oh my gosh, this is so good. How does everybody find you and how does everybody find your new book, The One Truth? They can go to getonechreuth.com. That's getonechreuth.com, because One Truth. They can go to get one truth.com. That's get one truth.com because one truth was already taken. So we had to get get one truth.com and they can go there and get the book. They can actually read it before it comes out of this airs before June 27th. So they can actually read the book before it.

It comes out June 27th, though. And then they get a bunch of action plans and resources free. So they get the tune, tune action plan, the prayer acronym, the whole action plan, they get all of that. And then also John Gordon.com is my website. So J.O.N. Gordon.com, they can, they can find all my books and a lot of my resources and free resources there as well. And then Twitter and Instagram at J.O.N. Gordon 11 and I'm on Instagram. Oh, no, LinkedIn. LinkedIn, which, you know, I know you love. I love LinkedIn as well. I'm on there as well. All right, guys, check this book out. The one truth. There's so much in here that's going to make sense to you

that you're not going to have realized until you read what John put together. And there's a whole section on applying it to your life. There's action plans. Take this up, get the book, the one truth, John. Thank you so much for writing this book and thanks for being here. Hey, thanks Heather, I really appreciate you so much. Guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I I know I know I know I know I This episode is brought to you by the Yap Media Podcast Network.

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