Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The Secret To Picking Yourself UP When You’re Down, With Heather! Episode 268

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

Have you been wanting to work with me? My annual Elite Mastermind is open NOW! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Becoming the best version of yourself   Building yourself up when you’re feeling down  Shifting your perspective  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Reflection is KEY. Finding what helps you de-stress and move forward when you’re feeling down is SO IMPORTANT for your future! No matter where you are, or how successful you become, there is ALWAYS something to work on. Remember, It’s okay to NOT be okay. Take the time to check in with yourself and set intentions for the future. Focus on what brings you JOY, and I promise it will bring new positivity into your life!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We've come at diversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Love your nocy.

I'm ready for my close time. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, first of all, can I say a big shout out and thank you to you. I don't know if anyone said thank you today to today, but I want to be the one to say thank you so much. I just saw that this show that you're listening to right now is number 10 on the Entrepreneur Chart on Apple Podcast and number 23 on the top business podcast on Apple in the US. That's incredible.

I mean, I have had this on my list of accomplishments that I wanted to achieve, right? So I've been very intentional about it from the time I launched the show in 2019, but it has definitely been a grind, right? This is, we're three years in, and of course, things don't always just explode overnight, even though we wish

they would. So I just want to say thank you because every time you listen, every time you share the show, every time you tell another person that you like the show, or you post about it, or you offer me feedback, it just, you know, you're encouraging me, you're helping me grow the show. And this is a big part of my business and a big part of what I do. So thank you. It really means the world to me

and I'm so grateful for you listening today and whenever you do listen. So thank you so much. Okay, so I wanted to share with you, it's so funny when we are feeling badly, which happens to everyone, right? We all have bad days, which by the way, I think it's funny

when I do speaking engagements at my live Q&A's, people always say, how do you keep yourself so positive all the time? I don't. No one does. No one is positive all the time. Granted, there's certain things I've learned to do to keep myself in between the lines of positive and not derail entirely, but of course I have bad days. I know who to dial when those bad days come. I know what things to do for me. If I work out, boom, I'm going to bounce right back. If I hit my playlist that literally speaks to me in a way that no one else can, boom, I'm going to be coming back. There's certain things I can do that I know will help

me reset, reframe, and move forward. But again, this is, I'm 48 years old, right? I didn't know these things a long time ago. And it was so funny. I was having a conversation with a young woman the other day. She's crazy over her boyfriend and she was telling me some crazy stuff she's doing. And I was saying, oh my gosh, that's crazy.

Right, I was just trying to give her, you know, an honesty check that, oh no, you don't need to do things like that. That's not helpful for you or for him. And that's not gonna improve your life or your relationship and along with, I strongly suggest you don't do that, right? Kind of obsessive type of things. And she said she understood,

but it was really hard for her because she felt compelled to do it. And you could tell she was but it was really hard for her because she felt compelled to do it. And you could tell she was really frustrated. She didn't want to be doing it. She was disappointed in herself. I've been there, right? We've all been there. We've made bad decisions and relationships because of our issues that we have from our past. And she was having a difficult time. She had acknowledged it, which is huge and amazing, but she couldn't stop herself. It was driving her nuts. So I tried to give her a little bit of empathy and share with her. I said, listen, you think it's so great that I know to do all these things, but I'm 48.

You're 30, right? When I was 30, I didn't know. So I said, here's the thing. At 30, your skin is perfect. Your body is functioning and recovering so quickly and your life is so entirely different than at 48. You know, my eyesight was perfect then, not so much now, right? So there's so many things that have changed, not necessarily for the better at 48. However, there are some things that have changed for the better. You've had life lessons and experiences and read books and make incredible people and you've learned and been through that journey, that growth journey to advance yourself.

So I guess my point to her and the point, I want to share this with you is no matter where you are right now, there's gonna be some things about you that are amazing and you should feel so proud of and maybe some things you're still working on or aren't as great as they were years ago. And that's okay too, but no one's nailing it on all levels and that was my message to her.

Listen, yeah, I might have advanced from an emotional standpoint of where I was 18 years ago, but at the same time, there's some major deterioration over here that you see me wearing glasses right now for a reason. So don't take it as one is good and one is bad. They're all just part of the process. So things are always changing. You always have that opportunity to get up the next day

and make a better choice. And I'm hoping that she does. Now that she's empowered with more knowledge, just don't forget, you know, information's where it all starts. But then it moves to application. You need to apply the information to your life if you want to have transformation in your life. Okay, so as I was saying, when you're not feeling great

and we all don't feel great sometimes, there are plenty of things we can do. I mentioned working out, you know, meditation, listening to music, you know, surrounding yourself with your A team that pulls you up when you're down, right? Some people journal, some people might, you know, want to be outside in the outdoors. Everyone's got something different. It's important to know what those go-to's are. When I was in a really

tough time in my life, I used to have a post-it note up that would tell me when you're not feeling well, hit it, and I just listed like seven things to go do. And I knew if I would do those seven things, I'd feel fine. So, or at least heck of a lot better. Well, I was reminded things, I feel fine. So, or at least heck of a lot better. Well, I was reminded because of an event, one of my clients had a charity event last night. I'm actually recording this on a Sunday. And last night, I went to a charity event in Palm Beach. And yeah, it was two hours away, right? Quite the trek to get there. So obviously, you know, I had to leave my son, which, you know, at three in the afternoon, which meant he was gonna have to figure out how to get himself to the haircut place,

how to get dinner, how to get to his friends house that night. Right, there was a lot of issues that seemed to be a little bit complicated or whatnot that had to work out. So it was kind of, it wasn't ideal, right? I much would have preferred this event be in Miami. That would have been a lot easier. And it wasn't.

So I made the commitment to go. My son had to make the commitment to work things out for himself and empower himself to be more independent. And I took the two hour trek out to Palm Beach. Well, when I got there, I was so happy to get there. Number one, I invited a lot of people. And it was so great to see my team that put together and worked with me and helped me so much and empowered

me to give my TEDx talk, they were there. And so I hadn't seen them together in a while. And it was just such a cool, you know, it was what a cool night for us to be together again. You know, it's just so nice to see friends that support you and cheer you on. And it was so great to hear what I've been going on in their lives. And it was just cool, you know, always invite people when you have something going on. You never know who might, you know, have the ability to show up and it's just so great to be able to spend time with people that you wouldn't always get the chance to see and think and to spend time with. So that was so cool getting to see friends I hadn't seen in a while. Love that. I always loved that. And then the other element that I hadn't forgot about it,

but I wasn't top of mind with it. And what's interesting is anytime I go to a charity event or something that's a give back a service type of event, it is impossible to leave those type of events and not feel better about yourself as a human. Not feel better about your life. Not feel happier. Not feel joy. And some level, I guess I had forgotten about that because I thought,

well, this is, you know, it was one of my clients' events and it was just a dinner and, you know, we were doing a presentation about this charity and no. Let me just tell you this. Anytime that you have the ability to go to some type of a service or charity event, go. Even if you think, oh, it's not that big a deal if I miss it, just go. If for no other reason, go because you're doing more good in the world. Goal because you're going to walk away feeling joyful and proud and grateful. And it's so interesting. I took an Uber on the way up and I was, you know, kind of like, oh gosh,

I can't believe I'm in this car for so long, you know, complaining. And first world problems and I could have been doing this. And I could have been doing that. And then on the way home, I was on cloud nine and just feeling so grateful and so lucky, lucky that I have clean water, lucky that I have a home from my son

where he's safe and cared for. This bucket ministry is a charity that has dedicated their lives to not only bring clean water to everyone in the world. And when I tell you these third world countries, we watch so much footage and video and heard from people who have gone and done the work, they're dying because they don't have clean water.

Their children are dying because they can't get clean water. And it's deplorable and disgusting what's happening. And we're so far away from it, we don't realize it's real until we're face to face with it like I was last night. And so it was just, it was incredible to see the work that they're doing. And they're also not only are they saving these people

with this unbelievable water filter that they have, that's incredible. And literally with $50, you can save one family. I had my son do it, and now he can track the family that he saved. It's so incredible and amazing, but this small dollar amount that to us would be a lunch or a dinner or whatever, something that doesn't seem that massive can save a family's life. It was so incredible and to see that the work that they're doing, they don't only go there to purify the water and teach these families how to purify their own water with this device,

which is manufactured in Florida, and it's incredible. But they also go to bring the word of the Lord to them and let them know that they are loved and that they are a child of God. And so many people in these circumstances don't realize that and they're just giving them knowledge and encouragement and empowerment. And it's so incredibly beautiful. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever.

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where I live and my son still wasn't home So I'm texting him 15 year old out on his own night in Miami with his friends because his mom's gone And I'm texting him come home. Where are you? You know, are you crazy? Get home? I need to go to bed and I can't fall asleep till he gets home Obviously that would be a rookie move which I would not make so I say get home I need to go to bed right right? I have a huge, I have 10 speeches this week. Okay, 10. This is like old school 2019 levels where I'm doing multiple speeches a day and they're not all in person. There are a few that are virtual, but it's still, it's

intense, right? You're giving all of your energy. You want to prepare ahead of time. You need great sleep leading up to weeks like this. If you want to kill it, right? You need to be of your energy you want to prepare ahead of time. You need great sleep leading up to weeks like this. If you want to kill it, you need to be taking your vitamins. You need to be on your A game. And my kids know where to be found. And it's 11, 15 at night. So to say I was a little frustrated is an understatement. So I'm firing up the text messages saying, get home now, get home now, blah, blah, blah.

And he's saying, you know, all these reasons why it's going to take a little bit of time. He's got, you know, some of his girlfriends are with him and he wants to take them home and make sure they get home safe because he's such a gentleman, which is so sweet. But at the end of the day, this cat right here, sitting here waiting for you, right? So it's sort of one of those moments that you're proud that your child's doing that. But you also know your child's giving you the run around because they also want as much time out with their friends as they can get. However, he gets home and it's late.

And so I was so frustrated because I just wanted a good night's sleep. And because I felt so good about this event the night before and about realizing how much we have and how privileged and lucky we are, no matter what, listen, my life is far from perfect, right? There's plenty of problems and issues I have in my life and pressure I have in my life.

How much time do you have? I'll give it all to you. But it's not about that. It's just when you look at these people that are li- they don't even have homes. I mean, there's, there's no walls. There's no clean water. There's filth everywhere.

There's no AC. They don't even have a roof. You know, they're living on top of each other. And then to see that type of footage here from these people doing this work here from my client who's gone twice to Africa on this mission just in the past year. And how driven they all are to save these people

and help these people. And it was just, I couldn't believe it. So I went to bed last night and I woke up this morning tired, of course, and I was on my way to work out and I was in the best mood in the world. Why do you think I was in such a great mood? Because I had been at this event for charity last night and had not made it about myself,

but had made it about giving to others, supporting others, and about feeling so grateful for what we have, and opening my mind to how can I help this initiative, and what can I do to add value? What can I do to help them grow and reach more people so that they can help and heal more people? And it was just taking that focus off yourself and putting it on serving others.

Whenever you do that, no matter what your circumstance, you're gonna feel so much better. So I'd love to know what it is that you do to give back. I know for years I was on the board of city or Miami, which is a different charity and I did that work with inner city youth for a decade and it was so rewarding. And I'm always interested to hear what it is

that lights other people up, right? I love stuff with kids. To me, that's my jam. I always want to help children, right? And so with bucket ministry, they're helping families, which means they're helping thousands and thousands hundreds of thousands of children. I love anything that touches children because I just feel like their voice is so much less powerful and they have less options. And I just, I love that idea of helping those that don't have the power or circumstance to help themselves yet. It's just, it's really important for, especially anyone listening that has suffered abuse as a child, you know, anyone in difficult circumstances

as a child, just my heart bleeds for kids in difficult situations. So that compels me, but I wanna know what pushes you to give or what motivates you to give and to think about that and think about, you know, who can we get involved with? There are countless charities out there, countless different groups and communities, you know, giving back and doing so much. My church is always doing so much in the city.

I mean, there's so many opportunities to give back. I'm doing two speeches for charity this week, right? Anytime that we can give back when it works, it's going to end up giving back to us so much more. So hopefully you can think of a way that you can serve others in some small way this week, I promise you, you'll feel so much better about yourself. If you're struggling with swelling in your legs, ankles or feet, you're going to want to listen up. Forget your compression socks and water pills. New research shows that swelling and inflammation can be resolved by upping your intake of Omega-3 fatty acids from krill oil. Omega-3's improved circulation while lowering inflammation on the body,

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Find the millionaire university on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. I also wanted to get to, as we sit at the end of the year right now, I had a board meeting last week, and every time I have a board meeting, I'm just reminded that these basic and simple practices that every board essentially does and for those of you that don't know

what it's like to be in a board meeting, the company, usually this CEO, senior leadership, is coming in from each department and presenting to you the performance of the prior quarter. So what are original goals were, what challenges we ran into, how we evolved and what delivery was, what did success look like, what was it supposed to look like, what did actual look like, and then how can we bridge that gap to grow

and be stronger for the next quarter? And so it's basically you're holding yourself accountable to what your goals are. You are bringing leadership or experts in on certain topics so that you can be advised on how you can improve and really hold yourself accountable to it, deliver, right? It's all about delivery and result. Whenever I sit in a board meeting, which is at least, it's usually a couple times a quarter, but it's at least one-sequator, I'm just always reminded, we need to hold ourselves accountable.

You need to, I need to, right? We all need to say, all right, what's our own board of directors meeting look like? And if you don't have a huge company yet, which I don't, you know, I don't actually have a board of directors, but I do have people that are incredible people who check in on me and want to know what's happening with my business. but it's about being more strategic than that. You know, why not set up your own presentation that to review your last quarter, whether you're an account executive or you've got a side hustle. None of that matters, but what were those original goals that you intentionally set out to achieve?

Where did you fall short or exceed and why and then how can we do better for the falling quarter? It's a great practice to get into, and there are board of directors for millions of companies for a reason. They deliver results. People don't not have them. So why not? You should have them. I want them, right? So implement them in your life.

When I started thinking about this, it reminded me of my checklist that I do. Anytime I'm at the end of a year, I'm always thinking about, okay, what went well this year, what went well this year, what went proud of this year, what did not go well, what was unexpected, what could I do better next year, right?

It's this opportunity to reflect. So I'm asking you to join me in doing this. It's a really good exercise for any business. And again, whether you own your own business or you work for someone else, look at it as though it's your own book of business and ask yourself these questions. So anytime that I'm reflecting, I'm always looking at sales, that's sort of my thing. And I like to prepare and present what they're presenting to team of people or to myself or just to

a couple of people. I want to share the information because it will hold me accountable to deliver better and stronger results in the future. Okay, so the first thing you want to do is take a look at this year, 2022, and let's talk about what were your goals and where did your actuales fall. You know, just from a very basic perspective, what were your big picture goals for the year and what did you deliver on, what did you not deliver on, and what did you deliver on that you hadn't forecast? Because all three levels there will occur at any point in time. So we want to write those things down. We want to look at what percentage revenue

increased did we have year over year, and why? And what is that goal now for 2023? This is a great opportunity, not only to reflect on what worked and didn't work this year, but it's a great opportunity to set ourselves up for what is that intention for next year. What are the challenges and opportunities we can forecast for next year? How can we move faster? How can we innovate and build faster, stronger and scale for the following year? Okay, you know, what is that plan to get there? What are the goals and what is the plan to get there?

And so we want to break these different things down. You know, we want to have bold, bullet points, but then at the same time, we need to break down each goal and intention with strategy and tactics so that we have timelines, deadlines, right? A goal is just a dream without a timeline. So give yourself some timelines, get into some specifics, but you need to start with that big picture first.

Okay, what are the obstacles and challenges that could prevent us from achieving these goals for 2023? Map those out and also cross reference the ones you ran into, not only in 2022, but in 2021, 2020, right? And you want to consider what those challenges were. Everyone's talking about a recession, which is interesting, and actually came up in our board meeting. And one of our board members is brilliant, and he's part of a multi-billion dollar corporation for his day job. He's on the board in addition to this, and he was talking about a lot of research that

they're doing right now, which finds that this economic uncertainty is projected to continue for the next nine months, and then it will begin to turn. So I'm gonna go ahead and trust in him and his multi-billion dollar company and the research they're pulling because it's definitely a lot better than what the rest of us are seeing on Fox CNN and the Wall Street Journal,

because that is all directed one way or another. This is coming from a source that isn't looking at skewed through Democrats, Republicans, or any other personal agenda. I feel very strongly about that, right? So trying to find information that isn't influenced by one political arena right now is really hard to do. So I like that they had done this independent study.

They had found it was going to be about a nine-month window. And I thought that was interesting. And I'm pausing for a second on the rest of this plan. I'll get back to it. But what that means is don't panic, right? If for nine months there's economic uncertainty, there is also opportunity. Anytime there's uncertainty, there will be opportunity. Right?

Anytime there is certainty, meaning, you know, business is going incredible. Sometimes it's harder to break in. Say you're a salesperson with a product that you're so excited about, and you want to get companies to try it. Oftentimes when you're in these markets that are exploding, people don't want to talk to you because they're saying, what I'm doing is working. I don't need to change anything else. Cut to your in a moment of economic uncertainty, people start panicking. People start saying, I've got to do something different. What can I do to grow market share right now? What can I do?

They're starting to be, they're feeling some pain, and when you feel pain, you're willing to try some different solutions. So don't get negative about this. Instead, see this as a potential opportunity of a lifetime right now, if you position your marketing correctly, if you identify your marketing correctly,

if you identify targets that can actually use a product and service that you have that can deliver results for them, get some of these people on board, get some testimonials to show that you will deliver and get moving because you got nine months. Okay, so next, we are looking at the obstacles, the challenges, then what are the partnerships or people you can tap to help you advance more rapidly.

And this is an interesting question because there are vendors, there are different partners, there are different sales channels, there are affiliates, there are so many different ways to look at how you could potentially grow and grow much more rapidly than you did this year if you tap some different people. So write a whole list out of all those people. Save it in a word doc and a file on your computer because you never know when you have a new

product or service or you say, wait a minute, this is a time I really need an arsenal of people and a different arsenal to go to market with. Where is that list? So be thoughtful about that list, be forever growing that list, refining that list, and stay in touch with these people because these partnerships, vendors, affiliates can open doors for you that you can't even imagine. Okay, who is your competition? This is like a basic SWAT analysis, which is strength, weakness, opportunity, and threat.

And so looking at who are the competitors out there, and what do they do well, what do they not do well, what is their unique value proposition, what does their marketing look like? Are they using a founder story? Are they storytelling? What problem are they solving? Is it simple?

What does their price point look like? What is their service like? What do their reviews look like? You can really get deep into this this and you want to compare yourself, your business and your offerings to these competitors out there. Obviously, we all want to own a white space so that you really aren't rendering yourself in a competitive situation. But until you can get to that white space, you also want to know what these other companies

are doing and offering. And what's interesting is, for example, if you are in the media business, and I'm just using this old example from when I was in the media business, I was in radio primarily, well, just because I was in radio didn't mean I needed to just look at radio companies, a competitor to me was anyone in the digital space, anyone in the television space, anyone in the billboard space, anyone that could be taking money that I could potentially access, right?

So open your mind to where your potential clients could be spending their dollars and view those opportunities as competitors and start doing that analysis on them as well. You might be surprised where you can target what niche you can go after that you maybe weren't thinking about previously. What are they doing?

You're not doing right? What are they doing? Well, that you're not doing. What are they not doing so well? You really want to have a deep understanding. Who is your audience or your end user? How are you reaching them and with what frequency, what messaging, what's working, what's not working?

Again, all of this is really important to do. I mean, we should be doing this all the time, but just at least for the end of the year and projecting for next year, it's going to be super helpful. Again, refining, who is that ideal avatar, consumer, client, audience? How are you currently reaching them?

How can you diversify that? We never want to be completely dependent on one or two strategies, how often are you in front of them? How can you refine and improve that? and what is the messaging that's working most impactly. Now you always want to innovate, right? So you're going to have to test and try different things. I test and try things all the time.

Sometimes they bomb, sometimes they kill it, but you're not going to know if you don't test and try it. So start testing and trying. And a lot of this you can find from your competitors as well. What is converting the best? What is not converting? What's converting at the weakest level? You know, what do we need to get rid of and what do we need to keep improving on? And any data you can access is going to help you. Data doesn't lie. People do, right? So people say, no, I love this campaign. They don't think they're lying. That's their personal preference. You might decide, well, she really likes that I should move forward with it.

Well, there's no data to back up that that's actually going to work for your and user, your audience, right? So data is information that you have that shows. Like, here's a great example of data. I use MailChimp when I send an email campaign and one campaign has a 60% open rate, which is incredible, I want to know what was that subject line? What was that call to action? What time of the day did I send it? Did I personalize it? You know, I want to ask all these questions because I also have email blasts that go out that 15% in the audience opened. That's an epic fail, right? So as we look

at data, data is telling us, this did not work clearly. This did work clearly. What about it worked? What about it didn't? And how can we take this information and put it to work for us? This is just going to save you time in a long run, right? You can be more efficient and more effective. I know some of you have teams. So at the end of the day, rating and ranking are talent, you know, who is in a place of growth and adding value and is irreplaceable and is an ideal employee running at an A plus level, and then who are those that are at BC or potentially even D level, and then who do we need to rotate off the team and who do we need to add and or upgrade, train, and advance that.

Next level, all these considerations need to happen at the end of the year, if not throughout and during, which they really should all the time. You know that fresh produce is the best produce. That's why at Crogr, we invest in local farmers to bring you seasonal picks that taste fresh from the farm good, like sweet corn, refreshing watermelon, and juicy peaches. So whether you're a delivery lover, a picker-upper, or you shop in store, your local produce always tastes 100% fresh, or you get a 100% refund guaranteed. Croger, fresh for everyone. So that was just kind of high level. Some of the things that I go through and I just thought

about it because of the board meeting, we've got to be our own board members or tap people for help, but these are some of the questions you could ask yourself, or you should ask yourself when you're putting together this year end review. Okay, so I had asked you, if you guys liked when I shared with you

what I heard at church, and I got back so much positive messaging on it so I will share with you the message today from my pastor who is talking about God opening doors and God closing doors. Okay, first of all he was saying that when God opens a door, no man can close it. Right? If it is meant for you, there is nothing anyone can do to sabotage that, which gives me such peace, peace of mind and peace in my heart. I love that. Right? If something is truly meant for you, no one can sabotage that for you. That's incredible. At the same time, you know, he talks about when God closes the door, there is nothing anyone can do, including yourself, to open it. And so he was talking about, you know, sometimes relationships, somebody loses a relationship and they're struggling and white knuckling and

trying to do anything they can to salvage it. And it's not being salvaged. It's because God closed that door and that was not meant for you. And instead, you need to have faith and move forward that that happened for a reason. There's something so much better out there for you. But you're not that next door isn't going to open if you're clinging on for dear life to that locked one that you're never going to unlock. And it's funny, ironically or serendipitously, I had done a post this week about, you know, when one door closes or rejection, it's not rejection, it's actually redirection to something bigger if you let it be. And of course, as you know, I have that story of at 43 getting fired.

And I didn't know it at the time. I had no idea that that was God's redirection for me. God closed that door, not only on that company and that woman, but on that industry, right? Because I had an 18-month non-compete non-salicit in order to take the C-suite position that I was in. And when I got fired, it meant for 18 months, I could not compete or go back to that industry that I had 25 years expertise in. I had to start over somewhere as a rookie.

I would have never written confidence creator in my first book. I would have never written my second book over Come Your Villains. I would have never launched this podcast that you're listening to right now that is top 23 on the business Apple podcast charts in the US. Right. None of this stuff would have happened if that door hadn't been closed by God, because if it had just been, you know, swung shut a little bit and still a little open, I would have found a way to compete in that industry. I would have stayed where I was comfortable.

I wouldn't have moved into this unknown if God hadn't shut that door. Somebody sent me a note this week on LinkedIn on one of my posts and it said, yeah, but Heather, how do you know the doors that are meant to be closed truly and the ones that you're supposed to open back up again? And my client was, you'll know,

you're gonna have that answer. You might not have it right now, but keep asking yourself that question. Don't spend the time asking everybody and their brother and friends what that answer is. Ask yourself. Meaning, when I look back now, when that door closed on that woman, that company, you know, where I had been for 14 years in that industry, I was devastated at first. But if I really asked myself the question, I knew I didn't want to be there for years. That woman hated me. She spoke awful to me. Was, never did I feel welcome. Never, you know, did I walk in to the boardroom and feel celebrated the way I do now when I'm at my board meeting for health link, never did I feel so celebrated and appreciated as I do now.

I knew the answer was that door was not meant to be opened again. I just didn't want to hear it. And I think that's what happens for a lot of us, right? Whether it be a bad relationship, I've done that in a relationship too, that I knew it was over. I knew I needed to move on I knew that person was no longer meant for me and probably never was But there is that part of you that you start to think well, I have so many years in on this

I you know, I put so much time we have so much history together You know you start thinking about the past so much that you can allow it to suck you back in. When the reality is, if you weren't really happy here in the present, you need to instead think about what do you need to change for the future. And when I asked myself those questions about that relationship, I knew that wasn't the person I wanted in my future. I knew we had been together for a very long time in the past, and there had been some great times, but that relationship no longer served me. It didn't work anymore. And it's about letting go of what no longer serves you so you can start going for what

you're actually meant for. And that does mean moving through uncertainty. And that does mean stepping into the unknown. And that part can be incredibly scary. But like my pastor said today, if God closes a door, no one will ever be able to open that back up, and if God opens a door, no one will be able to close that on you. So have this knowing, have this faith that I truly have now,

and when I look back, it's so much easier to see looking back. Don't ever forget that. You can always connect the dots looking back. It's impossible to connect them looking forward. Gosh, that would make it way easier, but that isn't the case. So remind yourself of these experiences you have. I remind myself of the boyfriend that cheated on me in my early 20s, which led me to taking an equity partnership and landing my name on the map and business in a way I never would

have. It took something awful happening for something incredible to happen. I wouldn't have taken that opportunity had he not cheated on me. So I have to remind myself of that. Then I have to remind myself of getting fired and God closing that door. So I couldn't open it back again, so I'd have to force myself to find something different, which has led me to my passion and my purpose, which I never would have found. So ask yourself that question and start looking back and remember the other times in your life.

When you couldn't see it it you couldn't connect the dots Looking forward, but now that you sit here you can and Find peace in that find power in that and just remember if that door is meant to be open for you There is no one that can stop it. So hoping you have an amazing week this week I am so excited for back to in-person events and so grateful for all of your support and for helping to get the show ranked so high. If you haven't yet, please leave a review of the show.

It really helps a lot. If you like this episode, please share it on social media. Tag me, I will always retag, repost, and thank you. So thanks for being here. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. inevitably something will happen. No one seems alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far.

I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they get and not the life they want. And I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode is to give you the habit and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like, what do you want most in life and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you make it a reality.

I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Happets and Hustle once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time. Once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time.