Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The Secret To Setting Goals You Will Achieve, With Heather! Episode 280

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Get Heather’s SMART goal-setting model that delivers each year The importance of Accountability and how you can access it for free here: https://heathermonahan.com/accountability-partner-sign-up/ 10 Keys to giving your best speech or presentation ever! Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Order my Soul Sayings  Show Notes:  If you are going through a tough time, I hear you, and you’re not alone! Look back at a year ago today, and give yourself the GIFT of reflection. Always take time to remember how far you’ve come, especially when you’re dealing with challenging times. If you can write down your goals and revisit them everyday, you’ll accomplish them before you know it! Plus I’ll give you my top tips for preparing for a speech or an important meeting. Invest in yourself and let go of your expectations so you can embrace all the joy around you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we're going to chase down our goals. We've come at diversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. After you're asleep, you're ready. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. I hope your December is going amazing

and you're excited for your holidays. However, I know that the holidays are not always a joyful time of year for everyone. And I just want you to know that if you are going through a tough time, I hear you. It does not always come together as seamlessly or perfectly as you want or hope.

I remember last year I was going through a really tough few months of my life. I was in a court case with my ex-husband about my son. Things just were not going well. And I was really frustrated. I was discouraged. Both my son and I got sick right before Christmas. And it just felt like, wait a minute,

there's all this hype and we're supposed to be having this amazing season. And everyone on social media is so happy and things are going so great. It just felt terrible, which is also one of the reasons why I want you to reflect on a year ago right now and just think to yourself how far you've come like whatever it is in your life, you might not be happy with everything right now. I'm certainly not. However, it's so much better than it was a year ago and it's so easy to forget that, right? It is so easy. So give yourself that gift of reflection of where you were a year ago right now. What you've overcome, you know, what great decisions you've made. Of course, I'm sure there's something that you're not super happy about. I definitely have a few that I'm not happy about, but we learn from them and we move on. We grow.

So, you know, even if you are in a moment right now where it is challenging, where you are frustrated, you're not living your best life, know that you've overcome other challenging times and you will overcome this one as well. And try to take some of that pressure off yourself that always helps me to put things in better perspective, is to appreciate those hard times in the past and really remind myself that, you know, what I can get through this as well, that's past proof that we can get through these current and future moments that are challenging because we are all going to have them. So I hope that you take a moment to reflect on where you were

a year ago, all of the amazing things you've accomplished, all the goals that you had set out to achieve. And PS, can you please do me a favor? I guarantee most everyone listening right now puts together a grocery list before you leave the house to make sure you get your kids, whatever they want or your spouse or yourself. But so often people aren't writing those things down for the new year. Their goals to new year. I write down an insane amount of goals. I don't think I've ever achieved all of them,

but that's okay. It's different things for me to shoot for and things change during the year, right? Things happen that are unexpected and it's important to have goals, to write them down, to revisit them, to get up every day with an intention, right, I read my goals almost every single day. I actually didn't today because my son had a sleep over

last night and it was just pure chaos. And I've been thinking about it all day. I didn't do my routine. You know, I didn't get up and have a moment to thank God for all that I have and be grateful for all the amazing things that I have and look at what my intention is for that day and how I want to lead my life with joy and love and to look at my goals and my why, why am I trying to do this?

I want to make the world a better place. I want to impact people in a positive way, right? So get in the habit of reminding yourself what it is you're setting out to do. If you keep these ideas and goals top of mind, you're so much more likely to to do. If you keep these ideas and goals top of mine, you're so much more likely to achieve them. If you write them down, you're 90% more likely to achieve them, right? If you share them with an accountability partner, you're like 80% more likely to achieve it. There's so many different ways you can set yourself up for success, but you've got to make yourself a priority and do it. It's that simple. So I am working on my goals for next year. The funny thing is, since the pandemic occurred,

I'm so much less rigid about things, meaning I used to have my one year, five year, 10 year plans, and they had to go the way I dictated, and I had to achieve them. And then the pandemic hit, and it wiped everything out, and threw me for a loop that I know for some people it was harder than others and some people had a great time during the pandemic. It just depends where you were in your life. For me it was an incredibly challenging

time and I was so scared. I was so afraid of that uncertainty. I lost so much business in a short window of time. However, you know, trying to find the gratitude and the blessings I look back now and the blessing for me was that I learned how to be a great virtual speaker. I didn't even know virtual speaking was a thing. PS, now I do virtual speeches every week and I never have to leave my house. Granted, I get paid half as much as I would

if I was in person, but there's still something so beautiful about that. You can reach more people without having to travel. You can do multiple events in one day. I had one day I did eight virtual events and I reached thousands of people from so many different companies, right? So there are blessings there if you're willing to see them and celebrate them. And that's what I'm training myself to do, because I love in person everything, and I was so discouraged for a while, I had to let go of what I had known in order to be willing to embrace what is and what could be.

And then now everything's hybrid. So there's such a benefit and blessing to both of it. And I hope you can see that in your life. So for me, when I think about a year ago, I just think about all of these challenges I was up against, you know, since then I've moved, I live in an incredible place. I'm on this adventure this year, you know, I've never been to the area I live in now. I'm always meeting new people. It's just life is so different than the way it had been very similar

for 17 years. And, you know, I completely purged everything in my home, which was such a great exercise. If you have not done that, oh my gosh, give yourself the gift of clearing clutter out of your life. It will help you so much. So, you know, I did that and I went through that exercise and yeah, it was challenging, moving, right?

Oh my gosh, when you haven't moved in 17 years, it's holy, I have forgotten what that was like, and I had forgotten how much stuff I had accumulated, but it was also really cool to go back and look through it. Right, I went back and I was looking through my notes. I take notes on everything, I journal, and I was looking back on the notes over the last 17 years in my life and seeing, it was so crystal clear to me

wow, this is why things were going well at that point in time or wow, I'm really proud of myself that I did that or oh my gosh, I wish I could speak to the me back then and let her know why she wasn't feeling good about the situation. Eh, eh, there was a reason, right, I just didn't know it yet. So it's so insightful and just gives you that opportunity to become more self-aware. And ask yourself more curious questions as to why we're behaving in a certain way

or why we make the decisions that we do or why we beat ourselves up so much, or why we didn't deliver on a goal that was important to us. And give yourself some grace that we you know, we're all on this journey together. If you're here, you're on a growth journey. So I'm already proud of you just for that, right? Good for you. There are so many people in the world that just aren't even interested in growing.

I was speaking to a good friend of mine who has a huge, incredible business. She's over-successful. And she made a comment to me when we were on the phone. She said, Heather, you know, not everyone is like us, not everyone wants to get out there and kill it and invent new things and grow and expand. Some people are okay with just getting by. And that hit me because I don't think, I know you, that's not you, right? It's not me. So it's hard to understand that. However, when I really challenged myself, there's been times in my life that I wasn't growing at the trajectory I am now,

right, that I was just like, okay, wait a minute, pause for a second. It happens to everybody, you know, that you get into different moments in your life where you're like, okay, I gotta take my foot off the gas for a moment, I need to breathe, I need to readjust, and then I can get back to it again. So not judging anyone that isn't in that phase,

but I'm proud of you that you are because I truly believe or on this earth to reach our potential, to reach the plan that God has for us, which is so much greater than anything we can ever imagine. My life has taken so many turns that I would have never projected or conceived of, and I know it's so much greater than me, and I feel so blessed for that gift, but it's all about stepping into that unknown, stepping into that uncertainty, moving to the place where you don't know anybody, being willing to walk away from what might be okay in order to start going for great.

And all of those things don't come with a guarantee. They're definitely gonna come with some hiccups along the way, but I believe they're all worth it. And I hope you do too, because I believe you are worth it. And I want you to go for more in 2023 and challenge yourself and write those goals

down and share them with somebody. Go to my social media, share them on my posts, DM me, go to my website, HeatherMoneyand.com, shoot them to me. I want you to feel accountable because the more accountable you feel, the less likely you're going to be to let yourself down. And I definitely don't want you letting yourself down. Because when we break promises to ourselves, that's really the ultimate confidence destruction, right? When we tell ourselves and tell others we're gonna do something and we don't do it. Yeah, that's a tough one to overcome.

So it's okay to fail, it's okay to fall short, but we've gotta hold our word to ourselves and stay honest and true to ourselves. And when we can do that, doesn't matter what the outcome is, we know that we are living our truth. And that's something you can feel really, really good about. National Security experts are warning, our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked the third time a power station in North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities.

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And again, not all perfect, by the way, oh my gosh, definitely not all perfect. And definitely some of them were super hard, but all experiences that I learned something from, took something from, and I'm choosing today to be grateful for. So I hope you're finding some things to be grateful for in your day.

So I have a couple of different clients that I coach and one of them, so interesting, she's an experienced very similar to the one that I used to be in when I was in corporate America, where she's surrounded by some people who don't always have her back, who aren't always cheering her on, or if they are, it's tongue-in-cheek, and they're also stabbing her in the back at the same time. And on a call that we had this week, she was explaining to me some of the awful things that were happening at work. PS, this is real life.

If you are in corporate America or you have been, you know the truth is toxic cultures are out there. They're not everywhere, but they are in a lot of places, a lot of companies. It's just shocking sometimes to hear how awful some people can be to one another. One of the things that I wanted to share with her and I want to share with you is, I reminded her, it's not, number one, it's not about her, right? When people treat you really badly or do something very, very harmful to you, hurtful, that's about them. That's not about you hurtful, that's about them.

That's not about you. It says a lot about them. It says very, very little about you, how you respond to that situation. It says a lot about you. And I just reminded her that we don't know what that person's going through. And I'm not making excuses for them. But I do think it's important to take a step back, pause, don't react, respond with grace and elegance, even though it's not always easy.

Give yourself a little bit of time, go for a run, do something to separate from reacting, which is never the right answer. When you give yourself that grace, you give yourself that pause, you'll be able to see things in a more clear way. One of the things I asked her was, what's your ultimate goal from this? Right, and I think that's a great question to ask ourselves, but what do we ultimately want

from the situation? We want to tell this person off and tell them they're wrong, probably not. Right, that's probably not that beneficial. Is it that we just want to be heard? No, we have good people in our lives that if we want to be heard, we can share with people we trust and love.

So then what is it? we want to rectify the situation so we don't repeat the same situation again or do we want to set boundaries right? From a healthy standpoint, what is it that we ultimately want to achieve? And one of the things I offered to her was maybe it's that you just want to survive the situation for right now as best and positively as you can for both parties. Knowing this person is in your rear view mirror. You're not staying working with something like this. You are moving on because these people don't deserve you, right?

So it's figuring that out first. Like, what is your ultimate goal in the situation? What do you ultimately want? And then seeing everything through that lens in regards to what is the strategy? We need to implement what are the next steps we need to take. So definitely get curious about those questions before you react and instead take a moment pause and respond after you've thought about it after you've answered them. But it really threw me for a loop hearing her situation this week and remembering that I was in a situation like that all of the time for 14 years.

And I endured that way too long. You've got to give yourself an end date, right? So the best goals are smart goals, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. And when you think about your goals in that regard, especially your goals for 2023, you've got to give yourself a deadline, right? So it's just a dream unless you're willing to put a deadline on it. And for me, I kept kicking that can down the road when I was at that company for 14 years.

Oh, I'm sure I'll get better, or I'm not going to put up this anymore. I'm sure to change, or, you know, there was, I just, I wouldn't pull the trigger and put that deadline on it. And it was definitely because of fear. I was afraid, I didn't know how I would make money. And I got myself so caught up in this circling the drain

kind of attitude that, if I'm not here, what if I'm not good? Maybe it's because of the company that I'm so successful. All these fake fears that weren't real, talking myself into the devil I know instead of the devil I don't. Well, I'm here to tell you on the other side of it. There was a devil I knew, but the other side of it was not a devil. It was just the unknown. And changing our language is so incredibly powerful. I know I've shared this with you before. I used to always say,

I have gold in the handcuffs. I can't leave. Well, I was speaking that to be a truth to myself. I was holding myself there with these made up golden handcuffs. Instead of, I wish that I had known to say I'm in a really difficult situation because I've been here for a long time

and I'm really scared to leave. However, I'm never gonna realize my potential. I'm never gonna realize the other opportunities are out there for me until I take the leap until I pick my head up outside of this awful situation and start looking for where else I can add value, what other problems I can solve, and what other good I can do in the world.

Something tells me that's a better solution. So for you in your situation right now, pick your head up, stop speaking in words and using words that are holding you back. Instead start empowering yourself with the words that will thrust you forward and try to be as mindful as possible. Right? Being self-aware is everything. And when I get into a rut, I am not self-aware at all.

Right? I'll start throwing myself a pity party or get angry at somebody else. Right? There's this whole natural, bad behavior that I have when things get really challenging. I think I had mentioned to you. I had fallen a couple of weeks ago and my doctor said I couldn't work out for a few weeks. Me not being able to work out is like the worst news ever. And of course, I understand your body needs to heal and we have to, you know, do it's right. But it's been super trying for me. And I realize one of my biggest waste overcome stress

is to work out, right? So not having that, I was getting into some bad moods that is not my typical way to be, and I was really having to do the work to remind myself, okay, get up and go for a walk outside, drink some water, get more sleep tonight, right? Do the things that you can control when you're not in control of all the things you really wish you were, because for me, I really wished I could have been working out every day and I haven't been able to. But instead, see that you're lucky that you're someone who has a future where you will be able to work out and there are things you can do today instead. So trying to get back to that present moment and realize everything is temporary and embrace that instead of circling the drain and driving

yourself crazy. Like I've been doing the past couple of weeks. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel from in-person POS system to all-in-one e-commerce platforms and even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. Packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand. And thanks to 24-7 help and extensive business course library, Shopify is there to support

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However, I've learned it's up to each one of us to pull ourselves right back out and not wait for the lifeguard to come through us a buoy, but instead to find a branch or something else and pull ourselves right out of it. Oh, and that reminds me, that's, oh my gosh. A great branch for you to pull yourself out of a rut is my soul sings, my new product, oh my gosh, I'm obsessed.

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up and you don't need to do it alone. Soul sayings, I love it. Oh my gosh, the feedback's been great. Check it out. I will put the link in the show notes below. Okay, so one of the things that's been interesting for me over the last couple of years is how often surprises come into my life that everything else used to be very linear before when I was in corporate America. I knew the next thing that was gonna happen for the most part, right?

I knew I could forecast, I could project, anticipate. Well, my life has not been like that the last few years as I've been on my own, which makes it incredibly scary and incredibly rewarding and exciting and fun and amazing, right? So there's two sides to any coin. I'm choosing to lean into the exciting fun and rewarding side, but there are moments where it's scary. This one not so much. At the beginning of every year, as you know, I set major goals, crazy goals like I want to be a New York Times best seller. I want to be the number one keynote speaker in the world. I mean, I want to have a top 10 business podcast on Apple and Spotify. We're top 25 right now, by the way, which is amazing. And that's all because of you. So thank you so much. But we're still not to top 10 yet, right?

So I've got work to grow and things to do to get better. But I set these crazy ambitious goals and then sometimes things show up in my life that I didn't set an intention for, or I didn't have a plan for, and those are just incredible blessings. And one of those blessings came to fruition this week, which was really amazing.

So being in a speaking business,, you can be hired from sports teams to massive corporations, to events, to charities. I mean, there's so many different people and venues and events that can hire you. And you never know. I mean, on any given day, I could get 10 inquiries to my website or on social media, someone inquiring about hiring me, well a few months ago, the Miami heat reached out to me and I live in Miami, so that's an ideal client because you don't have to get on a plane and travel

and a huge brand and super exciting. And the funny thing was, I've been to the heat arena, used to be American Airlines arena, now it's called FTX arena. I've been there thousands of times because my old job was in the media business and so we would have concerts there all the time. Of course, I was a huge heat fan

and I went to, especially when LeBron was here. I went to every single game. And so it was just so surreal for me having this moment to say, oh my gosh, this venue I've been to literally thousands of times over the last 20 this venue I've been to literally thousands of times over the last 20 years. And I love going to. And it's so exciting to go there.

I'm going to arrive this week as the talent, as the speaker, not as the audience. And it was such a wild moment going in there. However, because I've been speaking now so much so for the last five years, and then prior to that, I spoke for 20 years in corporate America. But, you know, on this keynote speaker journey, I felt confident going in, of course, and I was excited about it. But it still was one of these wild, surreal moments to just say, wow, like, what a blessing, what a gift I feel so blessed. But reminding myself, I did the work to get here, wow, like what a blessing, what a gift, I feel so blessed. But reminding myself, I did the work to get here.

And this actually wasn't one thing that I had set a specific intention for. It had crossed my mind. I thought that would be incredible. But when the day actually came, it blew me away. It was definitely one of those moments that you don't forget. So what I wanted to share with you from this moment was a few things. I wanted to talk about some of the takeaways that I put together that I hope,

I hope they're gonna help you. I'm not suggesting you need to speak for the Miami Heat, but what I'm suggesting is maybe you're gonna speak up in a PTA meeting or maybe you're giving a presentation at work or maybe you are going to be taking a stage and that's one of your goals for 2023, which if so, yeah, boo, yeah, let's do it. Let's go bigger. Let's get this done and put it on your board and your target list. There isn't anything that's too big for you.

You can push yourself to go bigger and push yourself to step into the fear and build the momentum. You will get there. I know that firsthand. I came up with this list of my top tips for taking a big stage or making a presentation or making an ask for anything. I hope these tips will help you. I get a lot of questions about how to prep first speeches.

Here's a few thoughts. It really works for me. It helps me and I think it'll help you. Okay, number one, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. This one's huge. Keep repeating to yourself, I'm excited. I'm excited.

I'm excited. Right, so that's true. When you get nervous energy in your body, if you start saying, oh my gosh, I'm scared. Oh my gosh, what if I blow it? I'm so nervous. You're just reinforcing that thought and that energy in you. And epic fail. I make myself instead, number one, I jump up and down. I usually hit my playlist for my life, my songs that I only listen

to when I'm going to do something big to prime my mind to create success for myself. And then I start saying, I'm excited. I'm so excited. Right. I really get into this mode of being super excited. And I also visualize that I'm going to help somebody. I'm going to important knowledge that could potentially impact someone in a really positive way. And that overflows my heart with joy. Right. I stop making it about myself. I start making it about them. I start leaning into excitement and leaning away from fear. And it usually pushes me right through that initial fear or nervous vibe that I might have going into something really,

really big. So get excited. Okay, that's number one. Two, always lead with a personal story. You want to draw your audience in and engage with them immediately. A personal story creates a connection. I opened my story at the heat with the fact that I had gotten a black eye from falling down and let me tell you something. I had that audience at the word go. People were on the edge of their seat dying to know what had happened, right? So you don't have to tell a story. I would tell, but tell a story that's real to you, right? Tell or share a story that's meaningful and real in your life, because the more authentic and real it is, the more you're going to captivate others and pull them in, knowing

they're hearing your truth. Always lead with a personal story. Establish this trust incredibly, really quickly. Crunch. What a name for a chocolate bar. Tells you what you're signing up for. Crunch. That glorious combination of crispy rice and 100% milk chocolate makes crunch the chocolate bar that's just more fun. It's the mic drop of chocolate. It's chocolate with game. It's chocolate with, hmm, what's the word in after? Oh yeah.

Crunch. Okay. Three. Getting your energy to the highest It's chocolate with, what's the word in it after? Oh yeah, crunch. Okay, three, getting your energy to the highest level you can before you enter the venue is critical. Use your playlist. That was a one I mentioned to fire you up. Jump up and down, fire your villains day before, remove anyone negative from your life. You have no time for negativity. You don't have time for anyone bringing you down when it's your job to elevate others.

Thank you and fire the bad guys. Okay, number four, make it about them. When you stop thinking about you and make it about the possible impact you can have on the audience, all of your pressure will disappear. That is a critical element in successful speaking is to stop saying, what do they think about what I'm wearing?

What if I fall down? What if I fall down? What if I mess up? Instead, what if I impact one person there and change their life? And how can you not smile? How can you not feel overjoyed? And how can you not go leave it all out there and go for it?

It's incredible. And then use those past success stories and testimonials you get from people as future proof. This one's going to go great too. Okay, five, acknowledge three other times in your career when you stepped into something or went for something big and it went well, even though you were nervous. You can use that as your past proof that this event is going to go well too. This is huge. I do this all of the time. Remind yourself of other times you were nervous and you made it through alive. You will make it through alive in this one too.

Six visualized huge take the time leading up to your event to visualize the outcome you're creating. I will never forget with my TED Talk. I watch the top and biggest TED talks for months every night before giving mine. And I visualize myself in their shoes in those red circles. I could see it as if it was real. Take the time. Do the work, visualize

yourself, killing it, and you will. I'm telling you, it's going to set you up for so much more success, and you can use visualization for anything. It doesn't just have to be for a talk, right? It's an intention that you have. I've just visualized it actually coming to fruition. I'm flying to New York tomorrow. I'm going to visualize my trip going incredible with tons of smiles and positive energy and good and, you know, miraculous events and miracles happening. Let's go see what's about to happen in New York. I can promise you this. It's going to be really good. Okay. Number seven, be your biggest cheerleader. You hear your voice in your words more than anyone else. Make sure those words are supportive and uplifting for

you. I always have my soul saying is on to lift me up. Check them out. Okay, the soul saying is are the best. I love them. But you know, pause when you hear yourself beating yourself up and remind yourself, how's that working out for me? Does that help me? No. Well, let's change that. Let's change that narrative and let's speak to ourselves the way we would to a child or someone we love or someone we really care about and over time, that will become second nature for you. Oh, number eight, such a good one. Turn to preachers.

This Sunday when you head to church, look to your pastor for inspiration. I look to my pastor each week and he gives me amazing ideas that I can reinvent and incorporate into my speeches, look outside of you for inspiration ideas. Too often people wanna reinvent the wheel, right? And so, oh, I've got to do a whole new, innovative way. Well, so much of innovation comes from seeing what works

with others outside of your industry, outside of your circle, and then picking up on the things that actually complement you that could work for you and incorporating those. A great example of that is the corset for women came out hundreds of years ago, right? And for a long time, people wore this woman wore this really uncomfortable corset

that was supposed to cinch them and at the waist. Well, then, Sarah Blakely invented spanks. She reinvented the concept of a corset into something more comfortable that still had a positive impact on how women looked in clothes. Then, a few years later, Kim Kardashian reinvented the concept of a corset into something more comfortable that still had a positive impact on how women looked in clothes. Then a few years later, Kim Kardashian came out with skims.

She reinvented spanks with new marketing into something called skims. So those two women, I just gave examples for Sarah Blakely and Kim Kardashian, both billionaires, right? So you don't have to come up with a bold brand new idea that no one's ever heard of or thought of before Sometimes you just have to re-imagine what's already working out there through the lens of you your experience

You're marketing your innovation and watch how that can take off number nine Ask for what you want if you want the Q&A segment to be engaging and fun ask the audience to bring you some fire Questions then reward the behavior you're asking for I had told the audience to bring you some fire questions, then reward the behavior you're asking for. I had told the audience I would autograph three books for the top three questions once we got to Q&A. We never actually got through all of the Q&A because there were so many questions we ran out of time. Ask for what you want, reward the behavior you're asking for. 10. Be the real you, flaws and all. People want to connect and relate to someone,

not feel isolated or separate. Be sure to speak with inclusion and approach the audience as one of them. We are all in this together. That is so incredibly true. And I'm sure I didn't give you every idea in the world, first speeches or presentations, but these are some good starting points.

Another one that I love is go to the venue, ahead of time, go to the office that you're gonna be speaking in, see yourself in that room. Take the extra time to get yourself ready so that you feel your best. If running in the morning makes you feel stronger and more confident, go do that.

If meditating, go do that. Set yourself up, see the day ahead and say what are some of the things that I can do to remove some obstacles for my day? So I feel better and more confident and I can move into it with ease. Don't stress yourself out. Don't try to jam pack too many things in

when you have a really important day or an event. Try to create a lot of space for it. I've gotten much better at that as I've gotten older. I used to try to act like I was just a regular day, even though I might have something huge going on. And then I'd be so stressed out trying to take care of everything. These days and my son knows it. If I have a huge speech coming up, I let him know.

Dude, stay off my radar from wake up time until I get home from my event. After that, I am all yours. I'm back at the mom biz. But until X time, I've got to prep for this, I've got to get in my right mental state, I've got to set myself up for success. Now, we'll so appreciate your help. Please help me to get this done. So ask for what you need. Set those boundaries. Give yourself the space and grace and put yourself first. Another thing I wanted to mention is the importance of investing in yourself, right? So often people think,

oh, I'll invest in myself with a personal trainer for working out or I'll invest in myself. I'm gonna take a class in accounting so I can get better at my accounting. But there's a way to invest in yourself and everything, right? When I gave my TED Talk, I hired a speaker coach. Now, mind you, at that point in time, I've been speaking for over 25 years

in public venues, huge venues. I had spoken for back then, you know, huge audience of the 20,000 plus, right? So I had taken massive stages already back then, but I didn't care. I wanted to go to that next level. I wanted to get better and I knew, but if I was willing to spend money and spend time

investing in someone who does this for a living, I'm gonna find a way to get better and my coach my speaker coach I hired for my tattoo was incredible Game me such great tips and help me so much so Invest in you your worth it you deserve it your goals for 2023 Deserve it and I want you to see them come to fruition and something tells me you will. Okay, until next week, keep creating your confidence. Get that list done for 2023. Know that I am here cheering you on.

And if you need an accountability partner, go to HeatherMonahand.com and get my free 30-day email program. I got you. And if you need extra push, download confidence creator, and overcome your villains on Audible now. The reviews are incredible. And when you commit to yourself putting me in the car with you on Audible every day, you know we are get this done. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. At a time when change is constant and we are pulled in far too many directions, we need a way to stay present to life and to increase our ability to remain calm, think clearly and maintain our well-being. Many studies indicate mindfulness improves our mental, emotional and physical health. On a mindful moment with Teresa McKee, you can learn how to practice mindfulness and enjoy its many benefits. Tune in for guided meditations and to hear tips and advice from some of the most respected experts in the

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