Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - The Secret to Unlocking Your Brain with John Assaraf Episode 24

Episode Date: October 15, 2019

Heather is joined today by John Assaraf, a New York Times Bestselling author and star of the film The Secret! He explains his new book, Innercise, and how it helps individuals recognize and release the mental and emotional blocks that prevent them from achieving their goals and dreams. He also has a number of online courses and free webinars that are guaranteed to help you succeed! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road, Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay. That's where USAA, Stephsend, we help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls, that's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change.

USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates, San Antonio, Texas. Vitamin water zero sugar just dropped in all new taste. It was zero holding back on flavor. You can be your all feeling. I'll play and all self-care you. Grab the all new taste today. Vitamin water zero sugar. Nourishcare you. Grab the all new taste today. Vitamin water's zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O.

Thank you for listening to this podcast one production. Available on Apple Podcasts and podcast one. Each week when you join me, podcast one, you are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. After you're asleep, yeah. I'm on this journey with me. Hi and welcome back to creating confidence.

I'm so excited you're here. We are less than two weeks from my TED Talk, October 26. So I am so getting in the zone, I have someone to tell you about it. But first I have to share something with you that I'm literally blown away by. I got the opportunity to jump on Skillshare this weekend, just like you're going to get a free opportunity because you know I'm giving you a deal. Skillshare blew me away. I don't know if you've been on the site yet. You need to check it out. There are so many different classes, lessons, and it's mind blowing how good they are,

and they're not long. I thought to myself, I don't have any flipping time this weekend to look at Skillshare, but I'm so glad I did, because you know what I figured out how to do? In one hour, I took a class on how to take the best pictures with your iPhone.

I was doing it completely wrong. I mean, why had no one taught me about this stuff before? It's crazy. Skillshare, it's online learning community, thousands of amazing classes, cover dozens of creative and entrepreneurial skills, and photography. Hello, you can take classes on anything from photography

to creative writing, productivity, and so much more. I even saw Gary Vee has a class on there not kidding. There's something for you and they're short. It's not like you have to do a three month class. You're getting major takeaways in an hour. That was the class that I took was one hour long. So cool. So please check it out. I mean, literally life long learning is important to all of us. One of the best ways to create confidence in yourself is to

teach yourself a new skill, a new skill, master a new skill, and invest in yourself. All of these things are accomplished through Skillshare. Definitely. I really loved it. So join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare. And of course, I have a special offer for you. You're going to get two months of Skillshare or free. I can't even believe this. That's right. Skillshare is offering creating confidence listeners two months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. You have to check it out. It's free to sign up.

Go to Skillshare.com slash confidence. Again, go to Skillshare.com slash confidence to start your two months now. Skillshare.com slash confidence. You're seriously going to thank me for this because I'm telling you these classes are unbelievable. And I'm going to, these classes are unbelievable. And I'm gonna make my child take a couple of them too. So I'll get back to you on what he thinks.

But you definitely have to check it out. It's two months for free and I can't wait to get the DMs from you guys saying, thank you, Heather, we loved it. Okay, so back to the TED Talk. I really kicked it into high gear this morning. I mean, I am so focused. I let my child, I'm like,

mom is focused on nothing but the TED Talk right now. Everyone out of my way. And it's so funny. I remembered when my son was leaving elementary school, he had a big speech. He was running for president. It was last year. And he hit some road bumps and they wouldn't let him do speech. And 24 hours out, we had to write a new speech. Anyway, I found out about this amazing woman. She's a speaker coach and I took my son to her the day before his speech

and she really built confidence in him. She's, oh gosh, she's such great energy and this is all she does is teach people how to speak. I woke up this morning and I thought, you know what, what do I have to lose? I'm calling her, so I called her and I said, listen, I know I speak all the time and it sounds a little weird,

but I'm doing a 10 minute TED Talk. It has to hit the mark precisely. It is gonna be scrutinized tremendously. Of course, the haters are gonna come. Hurrah, hooray. And I just want to make sure I put my best foot forward that I try my hardest, you know, a lot of people never get the chance to do a TED Talk. God knows I was rejected so many times that I just really want to I want to do the best possible job. I don't ever want to look back and I know you'll totally get this and see that video and say, oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't get a good night's sleep

And I look like crap or I can't believe I frozen didn't practice enough You know, I want to be original be me on my feet But I also want to put the work in so that it comes out great So I booked an appointment with her. I'm going to see her tomorrow I'm so excited. I love this lady. And I'm sure she's going to give me some good feedback, some ways I can improve. And if nothing else, it gives me the chance

to take a little mini stage in front of an audience. You know, when I have less than two weeks before my talk. So I'm so flip and excited. And the next two weeks are crazy for me. So this is definitely, it's going to help. So this weekend something funny happened. My son was going to a football game with hit all the people from his football team and they were going to a college football game and it was that night and he's never done something like

this. I was so annoyed because I basically had to sit on standby to go pick him up. He calls me from the game and says mom I've got, Mom, I've got a problem. However, I've got a solution. I said, oh yeah, okay, what is going on? I can't even imagine. He tells me the coach lost the keys to the van. All the kids were riding together. And he said, however, one of my friends,

the family lives literally five minutes from here. So I know you're a far mom, but I can get a ride to his house. I'll drop a pen as soon as I get there, follow the pen and you can come pick me up there. And I was so proud of him that, yes, he called to communicate, there was an issue, they didn't know if they would get a ride back to school,

which is where I had dropped him and where I was supposed to pick him up. And so he created his own solution and thought it through before he called me. And I was just, gosh, I was so happy about that. But it just reminded me as a leader in business, I always would say to people, come up with at least one,

if not three solutions to your challenges before you come see me. So I know that you've tried or attempted to brainstorm on your own and empower yourself to fix challenges and problems. And I'm just so happy to see he either picked up on that by hearing me talk to other people or maybe I have him do that as well. I'm not sure, but it definitely was so exciting. So this week I am so fanning out by who my guest is. You cannot believe it. if you have ever seen the movie The Secret. Well, you better have because I saw the movie The Secret a year ago in September and I swear to you,

it changed my life. And I'm going to tell you why. I was going back and forth toggling between, yeah, my book's out and it's doing okay, but you know, I don't know. Maybe I should go back to corporate America But you know, I'm doing it all right on my own, but I'm not quite to the tipping point You know, I was like back and forth and my friend's husband said to me I'll never forget it was Labor Day weekend. He said listen You can't be standing on one side of a river saying I know I can make it and jump standing on one side of a river saying, I know I can make it and jump, but I'm just not ready to do it yet.

So I'll wait and see if a better time comes along. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. He's like, what is that? Who does that? You're either all in or you're out. You're keeping yourself out. He said, you're holding yourself back. And I hadn't thought about it that way.

However, when I got home, we were at the breakers, which is, oh my gosh, one of my favorite places in the world's Guambecation. We were there for the night. I went home. I didn't have my son, my ex-husband had him that night, and I sat on the couch, and I turned on Netflix, of course. And wouldn't you know the secret just popped up on movies I should watch, and I watched it. And I was blown away because it echoed the same message that my friends husband gave me at the breakers. But in detail and with a lot more story and a lot more direction and it just was one of those moments that I thought this is not by chance. This is by design and I have to listen and take action and I wrote everything down from that movie. And one of the leads in the movie, I just really connected with.

You know what's funny is, one of them, I really was turned off by, come to find out that person has done some bad things because I Googled him and figured it out. But the one person I'm talking about, John, I just felt, wow, I love how he talks to his kids and I just really connect to him. So fast forward, you know that I'm always tweeting at people, DMing people on Instagram and I tweeted at John, I would love

it if I could have you on my show someday. And he tweeted back to me, yeah, for sure, you know, why don't you email my assistant. So anyways, he had me do a pre-call with him before he listened to San Diego before I came out and he was exactly how I thought he would be. So in advance of meeting him, he had a free webinar that he was hosting about accessing your mind and tapping into your power.

And I did the free webinar. Of course, I bought the entire course. This is weeks before I went to his house. I took the course. He has some unbelievable hypnosis style tracks on their visualization tracks that I used when I went to interview Sarah Blakely and I was nervous and it really helped me.

He has this awareness with breathing. It's flipping unbelievable. And I have to tell you, not only was I fanning out about meeting him, not only do I love his course and his book, inner size, but I'll tell you, he's just, he's such a great guy. And he and his message really helped me. I know they're going to help you. I love this flipping interview. And whenever I leave someone help you. I love this flipping interview. And whenever I leave someone's house, I always take notes so I don't forget because sometimes there's a lag, for example,

this show I recorded a couple weeks ago. So I'm gonna read to you the notes that I took because I think it's so cute. Okay, arriving at John's home, I had my new recording equipment and I had no idea how to use it. I'm laughing because I'm just remembering this. I had just taken an Uber to his home in San Diego from LA because I couldn't figure out any other way, which was insane. And I was beyond excited to record this show.

Immediately John welcomed me into his home. He introduced me to his wife. They were both so kind and hospitable. They were amazing. They got me water and we sat and talked. I had joined his online community and I was so excited to share my thoughts with him. I shared that I had just left the podcast on headquarters where someone was telling me that manifesting and the law of attraction is BS. He was completely unfazed. He shared that he'd gone on countless shows answering that exact concern and that he typically would respond with the example of the placebo effect in medicine, which is well documented and illustrates that the is energy and frequency and changing the channel, quote unquote, on a radio station is exactly the same as changing our frequency and allowing us to tune in to different opportunities. After we talked for a while, he set up my equipment for me. He was so good. And when he got stuck, he said, let's face time your producer. And we

showed her what was happening and she talked us through it. I literally had no idea how to do it, so it was so amazing that he's tech savvy and helpful, so so nice. Then we went down to his office, we recorded the show, and the show is so good. Wait, I can't, I'm dying for you to hear this interview next, you're gonna love it. He was so excited after to share the story of one of his community members and how she had been suffering her whole life, a suicidal mother, a father who talked down to her. Her father had even handed the mother a knife in front of his daughter and demanded she just get it over with and end her life. This is not made up. This is true. This is someone in John's community. But since joining John's program and community, this woman had made major gains and John asked me to find her in the community,

stay tuned in and encourage her along with the major leaps this girl would be making because he was so excited and proud of her. And it was so genuine. I just, I have to let you know that he really cares so much about the people in his community. Then he autographed my book. I brought, I had bought his book, inner size, I brought it with me. He autographed it for me. He reiterated that the goal I had just made and made me realize how important the details were that I had to give myself an end date for my goal and really claiming that this was a piece that I had been leaving out. I hadn't added the timeline and that was key and manifesting. So

you're going to hear this in the interview, but he really opened my mind to why I hadn't been achieving certain things that I was trying to achieve. I had never given it a deadline, which is crazy. I give everything a deadline. What was I thinking? All right, those at Deal and Specific seldom fail. Those that deal in generalities seldom succeed.

Then we joined his wife in a living room. I shared that my good friend actually knew them, my good friend Nikki, and they said, have her come over. And I said, oh my gosh, she's coming to pick me up right now. It was actually her birthday. We all laugh. We had such a great time talking. Nikki ended up coming in. We were all hanging out. They were telling us how they met and how their relationship began, John turned the conversation to me and he began advising me on how to grow my business and why he doesn't love the speaking business because it's not passive income and how I'd be better off to focus my efforts on passive income and creating community and online opportunities. And boom, great advice.

I was replicating what I used to do my old job, which was fly around the country doing things that I had to be on site for, and now I'm doing the same thing with speaking, and while I love it, that isn't a long-term plan, and he really opened my eyes to that. So time to pivot, why not build it online? I mean, come on. So I so appreciated his advice.

He then thanked me and told me, if I could launch his episode around the middle of October, it would help him because he's doing another online event like the one that webinar that I signed up for originally when I was becoming familiar with his community and his digital course, etc. So the trip was so worth it. It was such a great trip. He's such a great guy. And inside my book, he wrote Heather, you are amazing. One million downloads. Yes with gratitude John Aceroff So he's the best such a great guy. I can't wait for you to listen to this interview

You're you're gonna love everything he has to say and I can't wait. I can't do you really think I I'm just I'm really fired up. I think it's not like any other interview that I've heard him do and I've heard all of them. But before you go, I need to tell you, if you don't know your numbers, you don't know your business. But the problem growing businesses have that keeps them from knowing their numbers is the hodge, podge business systems they have in place. They have one system for accounting, one for sales,

one for inventory, and none of them speak to each other. And they all take up too much time, too many resources, and that crushes your bottom line. Introducing NetSuite by Oracle, the business management software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy-to-use cloud platform, giving you the visibility and control you need to grow your bottom line. With NetSuite, you save time money and Unneeded headaches and right now net sweet is offering you valuable insights with a free guide I mean always free. I'd love this

Seven key strategies to grow your profits at net sweet dot com slash monahen go get it right now It's free net sweet dot com slash monahen and download your free guide Get it right now, it's free. NetSweet.com slash Monahan. And download your free guide, seven key strategies to grow your profits. Who doesn't want to grow profits? And you get it for free. NetSweet.com slash Monahan.

Hang tight, you're about to meet my friend, John. Hi and welcome back to Creating Confidence. I'm so fanning out right now. You cannot believe where I am. I'm in San Diego and you are going to flip for my guest. He's a two time New New York Times best-selling author. You may know him from the Juggernaut movie, the secret among many other cameos that he's had in a ton of different movies, but he's also wildly successful as an entrepreneur having over five companies, multi-million dollar companies, and even one with revenues in the billions he's

turned his knowledge and business into a passion for the brain with his new book, InnerSize. He is going to teach us how to leapfrog the fear that we've got and go after our passion. Thank you John Asura for being with me. It's so great to have you here in San Diego and at my home. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me in. You're welcome. It's great to have my home. Oh my gosh, it's amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me in. You're welcome. It's great to have you here. Oh, thank you.

OK, so I mentioned to you, John, that I was exposed to the secret, the movie. Only a year ago, and at that time, 44 years old, I thought that idea of the law of attraction sounded like BS. And with the background in corporate America and you're supposed to go to school and this is how things work and work hard

and that's how you make money, I truly struggled with that idea, even though I had people in my life that were advocating for me to open up my mind to start believing in things and this idea of manifestation. So you were, and I told you this, the personality on the movie that I connected most with,

there's a great scene in the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it where you're with your son. And how gentle you were with your son in that scene and explaining to him your vision boards and the realizations that you were having and how you manifested, it really, it locked me in. And since then I've researched you, I've watched you on so many shows, read your book, and I mean, I'm all in now, and I want everyone to have access to your story, your amazing story.

Thank you. You know, when the movie The Secret came out, there were some amazing pieces to it around, you know, the fact that everything in the universe that we see and don't see is made up of energy, whether it's a particle or a wave, a wave is a potential particle. And it really opened up people's minds to the possibility that I am creating my reality. And so I think the premise of the movie was great in that we become what we think about and feel and do most of the time, which is also a spin from Napoleon Hill's great work Think and Grow Rich. Now where I think the movie missed the mark a little bit was that there's also like if you think about the word or you consider the word you know attraction the last six letters of that word is action.

And I think the movie didn't go far enough to say, okay, yes, in addition to having positive thoughts, and in addition to having these emotions, energy in motion is where the word emotion comes from. You have to have the law of joy working for you as well. And I learned that when I was 19 years old and it's the law of get off your ass and do the right things in the right order at the right time. So when you combine your thoughts, your emotions, your feelings with the right

behaviors, now you have the equivalent of what you have when a group of musicians gets together and each one's playing a different instrument and they play and practice enough to get into harmony. They get into coherence and when they're in coherence the piano fits into the guitar which fits into the trombone that fits into any of the other instruments just when the perfection is there. Most people don't think about, well how do I get my life, my thoughts, emotions, feelings, and behaviors aligned so that I am working in harmony with the laws of nature, the scene and the unseen. And so that is where a lot of people got this idea of, wow, maybe when I'm in resonance, when I'm in harmony, I'm actually, and, and, and I'm going to put this in quotes for everybody to remember attracting things that I really want. I like

to have people think of it slightly differently versus attracting like a magnet, becoming aware like one. And that is what we can have a little bit of fun with. There's really unpacking some of that. Well, I like the analogy you shared with me before we started the podcast with the tuning fork. And that that energy and when you hit that tuning fork, you all the same C is chandelier vibrate. Yeah, tuning fork, a piano key, the A440 on the piano key, you know, can get a chandelier to start vibrating 15, 20 feet away. And the reason is because the vibration,

the resonance field is there. And, you know, back in the day, Nikola Tesla, who really was one of the geniuses of our time, that realized that everything is made up of energy, and you can use energy in a variety of different ways, we can also remember that we have a hundred trillion cells that make up our body, which is made up mostly of the molecules hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon.

So even though when we look at our hand, you can't see the hydrogen or oxygen, you can't see it, but if you look at your hand through an electron microscope, you'd be able to see this vibrating packet of a variety of different energy fields. And so when we think about our body being this coalesced energy field, every thought we have changes the molecular vibration of every atom, every thought that our brain has the most powerful organism in the known universe releases these other chemical and electrical signals that causes the algorithms of our very essence, our bodies, to vibrate at a different level. So when you think of a positive thought and dopamine is released in your brain when

you share it with somebody else and oxytocin is released by your brain into your bloodstream, you're feeling that yourself, but when you're sharing with somebody else, their feeling it also, feeling is nothing more than awareness of the vibration I am and awareness of the vibration you are in or the things around me or the ideas or thoughts that I have. So when we are releasing or reading bits of information from this field that we live in, we are either in resonance and harmony and coherence with things, or we're experiencing dissonance, we're experiencing this incoherent pattern that we don't like.

And so everything is energy. Everything is vibrating. And we could learn how to be more in harmony and coherence with what it is that we want. We can learn how to be aware of stopping to think about the stuff that we don't want. Because as soon as we think of what we don't want, we're actually producing the neurochemical

of what we don't want. It is going through our bloodstream, causing a hundred trillion of ourselves to vibrate at the level of what we don't want, and then we wonder why we keep seeing it. So this is where the evolution of our species is really going to now now is to be deliberate, to be conscious of our own evolution,

to start using the most powerful tool we've known, the brain. If you think about cell phones, every no cell phones, in a one mile square radius of where you live, there's about a million cell phones can be handled. A million connections could be found in one inch of your brain. A million connections in one inch of your brain and right now, even with the most advanced technology

we have, we can't get more than a million connections in a square mile of your neighborhood. And so just to give you an idea of the power that resides within you, and so the reason I get so excited, the reason I wrote the book, InnerSize, is we're finally getting a little bit the user's manual of how do we use our brains better, how do we understand our emotions, how do we manage our feelings so that we are doing more of what we love? We are feeling better. We're more aware, more alive, more focused so that we can do the things that bring us more joy and meaning and purpose in our lives versus getting caught up in this web of negativity, whether it's negative thoughts or emotions that propagate and

create more of that than we don't want. So that's the fun part. Well, that's the part that I'm really working on. So that's why I'm so glad to be here with you as you've really mastered this. So when you are feeling fear, for example, which, you know, for me, I was in a job. I was afraid to leave for a long time That's very real to anybody in that moment to leave the relationship leave that situation how can you Retrain your mind to not see that as something's holding you back?

So in order to understand fear So, in order to understand fear, earlier you and I talked about, there's over 50 different types of fear. But let's understand our brain just a little bit. So, what is the higher archie of the brain's functionality? 25% of all of our calories are brain uses. It's made up of, you know, fat and water mostly and neural connections. And why am I going there? Well, number one, the number one priority of yours in my brain is safety above all else, right? Safety for your life, emotional safety, physical safety, financial safety, family safety. That's the number one priority. It has been wired into this organism for billions

of years. We've walked on earth for just over two million years in one form of human or another. And it's number one priority is survival. So it is highly, highly, highly, highly trained to be aware of anything real or imagined that can hurt us, kill us or cause us harm. So when we think, for example, of leaving a job that pays us, that pays our bills, that pays for our clothes and food and shelter, and gives us the comforts that we want, any real or imagined pain triggers the neurochemistry at a subconscious level that we call is fear.

So what we have to understand is if you're driving your car down the street and a light pops up on your dash, do you get angry or worried about the light? Some people might, some people might, but usually a light is a signal. Hey, you've left the trunk open or hey, the back door is open, and your child is sitting there. Oh, hey, your windshield washer fluid is low. You don't have enough gas to it. It is a signal to make you aware.

Now, when fear, whether it's fear of failure, fear of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, judged, fear of not having enough money and not paying the bills. When that fear is activated, the first thing that happens is our motivational circuit is shut down, and that fear circuit gets activated so that we run rampant based on what's in our memory bank and what could go wrong. So first and foremost, if your fear signal kicks in, celebrate because it's working beautifully. But you can evolve through a little bit of practice in what I call inner size to become aware of fear, to become aware of that that anxiety

emotion that fear gives you because cortisol and epinephrine or nor epinephrine is running through your bloodstream. We don't like that. That's like a caffeine shot too much of a caffeine shot. It's uncomfortable. But when you become aware of fear and you go, okay, my fear circuits activated. And I'm staying in a relationship that I'm not happy. I'm staying in a job that I'm miserable and I'm fearful to start my own business or my own podcast or to, you know, pack up and go and travel and live my life the way I want to. And you can come up with all the things that cause the fear signal to activate.

What we have to realize is that we are not our emotions. We are not our fears. We have emotions. We have fears based on the meaning that we have learned to give things that have been conditioned at the subconscious level. National security experts are warning our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time a power station in North Carolina was damaged by gunfire.

Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities. They've identified nine key substations. If these substations are attacked, power could be knocked out from coast to coast for up to 18 months. Imagine a black outlasting not days, but weeks or months, your life would be frozen right in time right when the power goes out. That's why having your own solar power is more important than ever. With the Patriot Power Generator, you get a solar generator that doesn't install into your house because it's

portable. You can take it with you. Even use it inside. But it's powerful enough for your phones, medical devices, or even your fridge. And right now, you can go to FordPatreots.com and use code Confidence to get 10% off your first purchase on anything in the store, including the Patriot Power Generator. You'll also get their famous guarantee for an entire year after your order. Plus, free shipping on orders over $97, and a portion of every sale is donated to charities who support our veterans and their families. Just go to 4patriots.com and use code confidence to get 10% off. That's 4patriots.com and use code confidence to get yours today. If your business earns millions or tens of millions of revenue, stop what you're doing and take a listen,

because NetSuite by Oracle has just rolled out the best offer we've ever seen. NetSuite gives you the visibility control you need to make better decisions faster. And for the first time in NetSuite's 22 years as the number one cloud financial system, you can defer payments of a full NetSuite implementation for six months. That's no payment, no interest for six months. And you can take advantage of this special financing offer today. Net suite is number one because they give your business everything you need in real time, all in one place to reduce manual processes, boost efficiency, build forecast, and increase

productivity across every department. Now, listen, the importance of having all this information in one place to make better decisions is unprecedented. The offer in NetSuite is giving you is unbelievable and it's making it all possible for you to have it. Now, 33,000 companies have already upgraded to NetSuite gaining visibility and control over their financials, inventory, HR, e-commerce, and more. If you've been sizing NetSuite up to make the switch, then you know this deal is unprecedented. No interest, no payments, take advantage of the special financing offer at NetSuite.com slash monahan. NetSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash monahan. And so all emotions are activated based on the feelings or the meanings that we give

certain things or have learned to give certain things that causes this automatic reaction called fear. Now what if we can learn to become aware of this automatic thing that we call fear is? And what if instead of reacting automatically, we can calm down and learn to respond. That sounds powerful. That sounds powerful. Navy seals are taught to not react underwater when multiple other Navy seals are trying to turn off their air floor, take off their masks, or create havoc underneath the water.

They're taught not to panic because in a panic state you're reacting, but a Navy seal whose life is on the line has to learn how to respond. Same with an astronaut, a firefighter, or a pilot. Right? They have to learn how through practice, deactivate the fear response in the brain, the amygdala, and the sympathetic nervous system, and they need to learn how to deactivate it and activate the parasympathetic nervous system where they can actually think and go, okay, what should I do here? Is this real danger or imagined danger? Am I really at risk or is this something that I can manage? Most people have never been taught that emotions are okay. What's not okay is when emotions control you. That's not okay. And that's just

because we've never been taught. What are core emotions? What does it feel like? And what do I do to deactivate the disempowering ones so that I could be in control and respond the way I want to? That's going to empower me and move me forward constructively versus disempower me and cause me to retreat back into my safety net even though I'm being fearful because of some old idea that I have that's locked in my subconscious mind. Well, I love the analogy that you share with the glacier. And seeing the only part of the glacier we see is that very top and that's your conscious, which you've explained and do so well

through your program and your book. But the subconscious, which is 90% of what's controlling us. 95 to 98% where our thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviors are subconscious based on our habitual patterns. So knowing that and knowing a lot of that subconscious was instilled in us when we were kids, of course, it's a lot of work to really start to process, to even become self aware to how you're responding first of all. And I'm just speaking from my own experience, to start realizing as a child, if my father

would start screaming, I learned just to run and hide. So maybe I've been carrying that with me through my life that when I deal with someone awful, I just step back and become a smaller version of myself. Right. And you run and hide. So we learn how to behave in childhood. So there's the modeling years, there's the imprinting years, there's the socialization

years, there's the imprinting years, there's the socialization years, there's the experiential years, and all of these levels or phases of our childhood formulate our model or map of reality. Now think about this, is the map ever the reality? No, more so today than ever before because now we can actually, you know, send self-driving cars along streets and they could take video and then create the maps from what's actually the territory. But up until the last several years, if you ever had a map, the map would never be exactly like reality

was. You wouldn't know how high the mountains were or how deep the oceans were, but now we can do that. So what happens is by the time we're in our, you know, 15 to 21 years old, we're locked and loaded with our beliefs, our perspectives, our paradigms, and they start to drive the lens by how and which we see the world, once we become habituated to earning a certain amount of income or being in a relationship that we love or don't like or a job that we like or don't like, any idea that we may have to leave that comfort zone triggers the fear center as a way for protection, for conservation of energy. And what happens is because it takes years and years and years to develop our beliefs, then what we want to do is understand that we have to unlearn certain things, we need to create new paradigms. And according to the latest research,

it takes between 66 days and 365 days to change a new thought pattern, or an old thought pattern, an old behavioral pattern, an old paradigm about how the world really is in the map. Now, some things take less time, but when we have a habit of being a certain way, a habit of achieving certain results, it takes a little bit of time to let go of the habit of being ourselves. Of course, because we've been ourselves for so long. That's

right. And most people are just not patient. And they also don't understand the process. Right. So you didn't learn to walk in one day So you didn't learn to walk in one day. You didn't learn to talk in one day. You didn't learn the alphabet or math or language in one day or one week for that matter. There were building blocks that led up to having these skills and abilities become fixed in the subconscious mind.

But at a certain point, you couldn't brush your teeth, you couldn't tie your shoes, you couldn't eat on your own, you couldn't speak, you couldn't do any of those things. It was through conscious effort, repetition, novelty, curiosity, fun, pain and pleasure, spaced repetition, that's how you learned. And modeling the people using the magic. And modeling. And so what happens is when we get to become adults, we go, well, you know, I don't want

to be in this relationship or in this job anymore. And we want to leave, but we can't. And the reason we can't is because there is a habit fixed in a part of our brain called the strideum. And this part of our brain basically runs the show. So it's the automatic self. And in order to change, you have to understand how to access your subconscious mind. You consciously learn how to do it.

And then you learn how to access your subconscious mind. It's your brain, it's your conscious, it's your subconscious, and you can use the latest tools, methodologies, to be able to access it, and re-script, repattern, reshape the actual neural networks that are your beliefs, that are your paradigms, that are your stories, that are the things that make you you. Well, using myself as an example, because I'm the person I know best, I shared with you just a minute before we came on air, that I've been self-sabotaging myself with your program, and it was so interesting to share with you.

I said, John, I love your program and this one portions really working extremely well for me and creating this new pattern and seeing that things can be different and I feel really positive after I do it and it's working and seeing signs, pieces of evidence. And you said, so what's the problem? And I said, well now that I'm traveling the last couple of weeks, I stopped doing it. And you told me that that was an excuse. That was a story that I'm telling you. It's an excuse in this story. And what happens is our beliefs drive our behavior.

And we also have a hierarchy in our own minds of what's really important and what's not. And so when I travel, I've been a vegan for five years. I work out six days a week. And I don't change my routine when I travel. So I can go anywhere in the world. I always stay in a hotel that has a gym or is near a gym. I always make sure they can have the food that I have because that's mega important to me. And so when we, when we, when I hear somebody says, well, I couldn't because I go, that's not true. That's not the truth. You couldn't because you prioritize something else instead of that because you

deemed that something else more important. And I shared with you, I said to you, if you had a severe toothache, would you have made time to go see a dentist and say, well, of course, I would because that was a lot. you would be, you didn't want to be in a lot of pain. And so when we understand that our brains are focused, they're wired to do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. Right. Interesting. So whenever I want to change something, I make staying the same more painful than the

discomfort of change. How do you do that? Well you create enough self pressure on yourself. So I say to myself, if I stay the same, what will my life be like? What will my children's life be like? What will my siblings life be like? What will my children's life be like? What will my siblings life be like? Well, my mothers or fathers be like, well, my students' lives be like,

what will be the consequences that I have to pay by not being able to take my gifts and contribute to more people around the world? And I make that more painful than whatever discipline I have to have in order to change. That makes sense. That makes a lot of sense. You mentioned I heard this on a different show that you were on that beliefs aren't truths. Correct. Beliefs aren't truths, emotions aren't truths, feelings aren't truths, but they happen to be hours for the time being. So a belief, like what is a belief? Like what is it?

A thought that we have? It's more than a thought. A belief is a feeling that we have, a lot of references for about something that we believe is true or untrue. So we have references, experiences, we've got things that we've read, heard, seen, or experienced that has created a pattern in our brain that for whatever reason we believe that's true. So let's say somebody says, I believe that I'm too young to make a million dollars. Sure.

Right? And they go, well, where do you have, where do you get this belief from? I believe that I'm too young to make a million dollars. Sure. Right? And they go, well, where do you get this belief from? And you go, well, there's nobody that I know that makes a million dollars. So I believe that nobody young can make a million dollars. And then are there people in the world that are making a million dollars that are young? Let's say 15 years old, eight years old, 25 years old, the answer is, yes, of course there are. So now we can shake up those references. And what if we set ourselves, I wonder what those people that are younger than me, you

know, what do they know, what are they feeling, what do they do to make the money that they're making? That changes your paradigm of what might be possible. So beliefs are real for us. And we develop our beliefs from the time we're born. If you think about this question, what belief were you born with about money? Scarcity that it was very difficult for you to get money. No, we'll believe we're you born with about being a woman and

having a financial glass ceiling? None. None. So that was something that was in your environment, possibly, depending on where you were born in the world. So beliefs are nothing more than neural networks that have been reinforced in our brain from the time we're born. We have positive beliefs, negative beliefs, empowering ones, disempowering ones, constructive ones, destructive ones, and everybody's got a different belief system. Now, we share some common beliefs, we share some common emotions, but it also depends on where were you born, what were your experiences, what was your environment like. And so the question then should arise is, if my beliefs are my truth, but not the truth,

is it possible for me to choose a vision or a goal that I have for my life, health, wealth, relationships, career, business, fun, experiences, charity, it doesn't matter. Is it possible I can choose any goal I want? I can determine what are the skills and what's the knowledge that I need to achieve those that goal? And what would I need to believe in order for me to take inspired action? And let's say you said to yourself, well, I need to believe that I'm smart enough. I'm good enough. I am worthy enough. I can figure this out no matter how difficult it may be. What if you could take those three or four affirmations or declarations? And what if you could impress that into your subconscious mind through space repetition, through mental contrasting,

through visualization, through affirmations, through subliminal program. What if you could take those words, which is nothing more than energy in for-mation? And what if you can deliberately impress that into your subconscious mind as easily as whoever told you you couldn't when you were younger. You actually did this. Correct. Not only have I done it, I've helped hundreds of thousands of students around the world do it by using technology and scientifically proven methodologies to access where these patterns exist. So the patterns don't just exist at the conscious level.

It's the subconscious level that drives 95% and 90% of your behavior. So why not work on the powerhouse of what drives your behaviors and thoughts and perspectives. And so that's what I started doing in my early 20s. As I didn't feel like I was good enough, I didn't feel like I was good enough. I didn't feel like I was smart enough. I didn't feel like I was worthy. I felt like I was a nice kid, but I didn't feel like those things because I didn't have any results that showed that I was smart enough for good enough. And so I started getting fascinated with, well, what's causing me to feel that? And I was forced to add mentors. I had my first mentor when I was 19 years old

that started to teach me about this stuff. And I'm like, wow, I have a brain, I'm not my brain, but I don't know how to use it really well. And it had nothing to do with intelligence. It's like, my own. But he worked a lot with you on goal setting. Yes. And writing your goals down, then creating your vision boards.

What would your life look like? Who would you have to be in order to achieve those goals? All those things that you're talking through that were really the work that you had to then go and turn and do for yourself to create that future. Yeah, he started me off with what is my vision for my life and what that meant was if you could wave a magic one a year from now, three years from now, five years from now, 20 years from now and you could design a Wonderful life. What would it be like? What would it look like? What would it feel like not how to yet, but just imagine? Said okay, well, what are some goals that you could have? On your way to that vision, would you earn

50,000 year, 100,000 year? Would you like to write a book? Would you like to travel? Would you like to retire your parents? Would you like to give somebody to share? Do you like what are some goals? And let's get specific on that. When I used to ask him, well, why do I need to get specific on it? He said, well, because your brain is a deletion and distortion organism. So it will delete or distort anything that isn't precise. Interesting. Right. And it's also predicting all the time. What's next? What's next? What's next? What's next? First to protect.

But then also to be able to guide you towards the goals that you actually achieved. So if you give your brain the vision of the end destination, no differently than a captain of a ship says, okay, we're going from San Diego to Hawaii and we're going to go to Maui to the port. Here's the exact coordinates. Then the captain of the ship puts those coordinates into the automatic pilot to the brain of the boat. And the boat goes towards Hawaii.

It doesn't matter how big the waves are. It doesn't matter how much wind there is. It doesn't matter if you're going five knots an hour or miles an hour or 15. As long as the destination is locked and loaded, all of the things that interfere get re-adjusted by the GPS system of the brain's intelligence in the boat and you end up in the harbor in Maui. Well, our brain works exactly the same way. We have a GPS system in our

brains called your left prefrontal cortex. And when you can have a vision of the end destination, you can have targets along the way. Your left prefrontal cortex, what I call the Einstein part of the brain, starts to help you figure out how you can achieve that goal. So what if you can ask yourself, okay, what are some skills that I could gain to help me achieve that goal? Who could help me achieve that goal? What book, what tool, what resource, what Google, you know, thing do I need to type in to get a YouTube video? What course could I take? What coach could I hire? Who could I partner with? Who can I talk to from my family or my friends that maybe know how to achieve that first goal? So, once I start figuring out how I

can, and then I say to myself, okay, what could hold me back? All right, so what are my waves? What are my things that can knock me off course? Well, fear could knock me back. Fear of failure, fear of disappointment, embarrassment, shame or ridicule, like we talked earlier. My self image could hold me back. What if I really don't feel I deserve to achieve that goal? What if I really don't feel like, I'm worthy of having that lifestyle of my dreams? That could hold me back. What about limiting beliefs? What if I feel I'm too young? Too old? I'm too Asian or I'm too Caucasian. You know, I'm employed in corporate America. You know, I don't have much, I don't have an education or I'm

too educated. I'm too young. All of these limiting beliefs are potential obstacles, right? And what if you ask yourself, what can I do to let go of my limiting beliefs? What can I do to manage my emotions better? What can I do to augment myself, worth, and self-esteem? So as soon as we start to figure out what I can do and we move towards doing it, now we're on our way. And we don't have to see the whole path. You know, if we left here in pitch black night and we said, let's go from San Diego to New York and let's say all the lights were out between here and there. And all we did was say, let's get in the car and let's go the 300 yards, a thousand feet. This was my friend Jack Canfield.

I have never right out from the movie. We know, talked about this. All we would need to do is get, you know, 300 yards further. And then we go, okay, what's the next 300 yards? What's the next 300 yards? So we don't have to eat the whole elephant at once. But when we understand our beliefs will drive our behavior, our fears will stop the behavior, our self-image will stop the behavior, but I'm not my fears, I'm

not my limiting beliefs or positive beliefs, I'm not my self-image, but I behave in ways that are consistent with what they are. And since all of those were created when I was a child, some of it's accurate, most of it is not. We are unbounded, powerful, sentient, human beings with the most powerful bio-computer in this known universe. But we are treating ourselves like we're some scraps of meat in a meat suit. And we forget that we have evolved into the most intelligent species in the universe that we're aware of. And so all of the how-to, how to manage my emotions better, how to let go of limiting beliefs, all the techniques, the tools, the how-to, we can Google that. You can read it in my books. You can read in other people's books.

There's courses on how to do it. The real question comes to, you know, what you and I talked about earlier, this is one of the greatest lessons and gifts I ever received. I was 19 years old. My first mentor asked me, what do I want to achieve? And I, all I remember was the TV show, Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous with Robin Leach and a mudded, nice cars and planes and homes and clothes and party. And I wrote all this down for him. And he said, you said, John, he says, are you interested

in achieving these things? Or are you committed? And at 19, I said to him, I said, Mr. Brown, his name is Alan Brown, and I said, what's the difference? And he said, son, you said, if you're interested, you'll come up with stories and excuses all the time of why you can't, and why it's not possible. If you're interested, you'll do what's easy and convenient.

If you're interested, you'll stay in your comfort zone, and you'll use the inflammation disease of choice called excusitis. Then you'll do the drug of choice called a hopeum all the time. Hope for things to get better. But if you're committed, you will upgrade your knowledge and skills. You will change who you think you are and you'll have a healthy respect for who you really are. So, as if you're committed, you will develop the discipline required to achieve every one of those goals. You'll develop the beliefs required, the skills, the knowledge, the strategies, the tactics. You said every goal that you have, that's easy. People have already done it.

You just need to believe that. And so if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes. It's so eye-opening when you say that that well even when we were talking about me and my business and you said Heather there's a million people out there who've had the most successful podcast and become successful on Twitter. The blueprint is there. It's, are you going to choose to do it? That's right. And so when you, when you, when you have a serious, loving, caring discussion with the person in the mirror, with no blame, no shame, no guilt, no justification, just awareness. And you ask her and him, what

do you really want to trade your life for that will give it the most purpose and meaning. What do you really want to trade your life for? What's really holding you back from doing that? It's only going to be one of those four things. So you're either say, I don't know how to do it. I don't feel I deserve it. I'm too young or too old or too Asian to Caucasian. I'm going to have a limiting belief about it. Or I'm afraid. Isn't it usually fear? No, it's it's one of those four or two or three, but they're all interconnected. They're all interconnected. So if I feel I don't deserve it, that it's actually not fear, it's a self-esteem-self-worth issue. If I have a limiting belief, now it's a function that I just don't believe it's possible,

or it's not possible for me, fear is a protection mechanism. So I won't do it because I might be embarrassed to shame or ridicule, which actually ties back into self-image and self-esteem. So they're interconnected, and each one of them activates or deactivates different circuits in your brain. And this is where I, you know, I was, I'm saying I was fortunate to learn that my brain, my beliefs, my paradigms, perspectives, habits, which means I'm responsible for them. Not you, not my mother, father, sister, brother, not the trauma that I had as a child. I'm responsible for it. I can learn how to change my beliefs. I can learn how to manage my emotions. I can learn how to augment myself as a team. I can learn all of these things because those are skills.

And there are techniques that we have learned how to overcome all of them. That's so empowering. Right. So now, instead of being disempowered because of them, I can say because of them, I can be empowered and overcome them. Now I'm in control, now I can be victorious, and now I can stop being a victim of them. And as soon as you do that,

now your life starts to change. The question is, are you interested, or are you committed? That's the $1 million question. There you go. That's the trillion dollar question. Because if you're committed, then you take your excuses, throw them out the window.

If you're committed, you take your stories, and you throw it out the window. If you're committed, you say, okay, maybe my old identity was this, and now I'm creating a new identity. And you just say, and I'm not going to allow stories and excuses, and reasons in my past to control my present or my future. I'm going to use my past as a guiding post, not a hitching post. And I am going to change and I am going to rise and I am

going to do whatever the fuck it takes. Period. And when you make that commitment to yourself, nothing and no one will stop you. And I loved how you explained it to me that when you make that decision, now see what your life is going to look like in the future because that's going to keep you working toward it so you won't give up. See how great that lifestyle will be for you and your family. See how happy you see all you achieving your goals. When you start focusing on those things, nothing's going to get in your way. Well, yeah, the vision that you create, if there's an intrinsic motivation, a reason why you must, it will pull you towards it, and nothing will stop you.

When you think about goals, here's, you know, I use this example that people like for the most part, and you'll hear it. If I said to you, Heather, can you think of one person that you really, really love in the world? Heather, a family member, a friend, a sibling. Can you think of one person that you really love in the world. Are there a family member, a friend, a sibling? Can you think of one person that you really love? I mean, your life is just so awesome with them in it. What if I said you Heather, give me a big goal right now.

Give me a big goal right now. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify. And the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify is simplifies selling online and in person,

so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel from in-person POI system to all-in-one e-commerce platforms. It even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook and Instagram. Packed with industry leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand. And thanks to 24-7 Help and Extensive Business Course Library, Shopify is there to support your success every step of the way. I love Shopify. What's been incredible for me about Shopify is

how no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify is there to empower you and give you the confidence and control to revolutionize your business and take your business to the next level. Now it's your turn. Get serious about selling and try Shopify today. This is Possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash monahen. All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash monahen to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash monahen. See you have a business idea, but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree. listen to the Millionaire University podcast, learn how to run a successful business and graduate rich, not broke. Trust me, you need to check out this podcast. The Millionaire

University podcast is hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, who started their business from square one and now have years of valuable experience. They hit lows and dug themselves out of debt and want to share the lessons they've learned with aspiring entrepreneurs. You don't need a degree to succeed. Millionaire University will teach you everything you need to know. From specifics like how to start a software business without creating your own software,

to more broad topics, like eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10K a month. In each episode, you'll get insights from entrepreneurs and mentors who know what it takes to be successful. So don't wait! Now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday.

Find the Millionaire University on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. Vitamin water just dropped a new zero sugar flavor called with love. Get the taste of raspberry and dark chocolate for the all warm, all fuzzy, all self-care, zero self-doubt you. Grab a with love today.

Vitamin water's zero sugar, nourish every you. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of glass O. I want to achieve a million downloads in my podcast in the next few months. Great. So you want to achieve a million downloads in the next few months. How many few months? In the next six months.

Great. So what if you and I sat here right now, in the next few months, how many few months? In the next six months. Great. So what if you and I sat here right now, and we said, okay, the vision is that you and I are going to celebrate six months from now because your podcast has achieved a million downloads. I'm already getting so excited. Okay, so we achieved that vision and we're going to have a celebration. You can invite all of your friends and we're going to have a party and we're high five and you're going to be able to

Impact the lives of all those people right and we set that as a vision and your goal. And what if I said to you right now? Okay, Heather That's the vision. That's the target. That's the goal if you don't achieve it You know the person you just thought about that you really love. Yes, you will never ever ever See them again. Oh my gosh. That's terrible So let me ask you a question. Let's say that was true Would you let go of any stories or excuses that may be holding you back right now? You look go of anything and everything great. Why not do that? I just had never thought about achieving a goal that way.

Right. And so when you think of achieving a goal, then what I want people to do is saying, do you really, really, really want to achieve it? Then why not do everything possible? That's ethical, that's professional, that doesn't kill you, okay? To do it. Why not say what limiting belief story I have that's preventing me? What's what what strategy am I missing? What resource or tool am I missing? You know, what fear is holding me back? What uncertainties in my way? When would now be a good time to eliminate those? Absolutely.

Now, like right now. You see, if it was true that you would never see that person again, you would think differently. You would feel, but you'd have a sense of urgency. A massive sense of urgency. Well, what makes you or me or the person who's listening to us right now, think for a minute you have time on your side. You don't. You don't. Listen, this year, you know, my wife's had three surgeries. I've had two friends die. Both my parents, 88 and 86 are in

an hour of the hospital right now. Life is so precious. If you value life, you will value time, which means act. Get busy now. That's a sense of urgency. Right. Have a sense of urgency. Stop thinking that you have, you know, six months or 12 months or a year. If you really want to achieve something, act that way. Believe that way. Feel that way. Ask that way. Do that way. And stop fucking around pretending that you have a lot of time with your life, because you might be in your 30s or 40s or 50s, you might be male or female makes no difference. You have zero guarantees. So choose a goal that is worthy of you trading your life for because you are anyway. And then stop asking yourself whether you are worthy of trading your life for that goal.

Ask yourself is that goal worthy of me trading my life for and start trading your life for the stuff that gives you the most purpose, the most meaning, the most impact so that you can go, yeah, what a day, what a week, what a month, I'm doing the stuff that my life is is worthy of. And when you start to have that sense of urgency, you stopped a waste time and you let go of the shit that holds you back and then fear of failure. Fear of wasting your life year after year in a job you hate or job that you're not thriving in year after year in a relationship that you're settling for year after year, not writing that book year after year, not building that company year after year Settling like you have time

Bullshit have no guarantees So take take that seriously because life is on the line every day So choose big goals that are worthy of your life. Choose things that scare you, learn how to manage the fear, choose things that will question your beliefs of whether you can, and then learn how you will because you must. I'm going to personally just replay that last five minutes for I can't even tell you how many times because I'm ready to go. I'm ready for the million downloads and I'm going to personally just replay that last five minutes for I can't even tell you how many times because I'm ready to go. I'm ready for the million downloads and I'm ready for freaking bigger and I'm ready for

achieving the goal. There you go. Thank you so, so much for sharing that with us. It means the world to me. How can everyone find your course, find your books so that they can start getting to work now? If people go to ignitemybrain.com, ignitemyBrain.com, they can find out about my newest book, Inner Size, The New Science and Lock Your Brains Hidden Power.

They go to my fan page on Facebook, they go to my Instagram page at At John Asraf. My company is MyNeuroJim.com, NYNUROGYMNeuroJim.com. We have free courses that show people lots more about the brain, some of our programs that they can get into if they like. But start off with one of my books, Get into my social media orbit. And follow me, say hello, tell me you heard me on this awesome podcast with Heather. And I'll say hi back to you. And you'll catch me. I'm in the community too because John definitely is dropping knowledge as you just heard him today. John, thank you so so so much. I couldn't be more grateful and I'm so excited to get this chance to share your

message with the world. Thank you so much. What a joy. I hope you love meeting John as much as I did. He was so fired up today. And when I told him after I said, oh my gosh, I never heard an interview where you're so fired up. And he said, because you acclimate to the frequency and energy level of the people with you. And he said, Heather, you have a really high energy and high frequency. And it just brings me up a level versus when I'm being interviewed

by someone who's more subdued, I might tend to be more subdued around that individual. I thought that was interesting and I was appreciative for that. I took that as a compliment. So be aware of the energy and frequency you're running on because you're going to attract people to it. You're going to pull them towards you and you're going to elevate them when you're bringing the heat.

So bring it. Okay. So you know that I'm crazy for my little boy. Although he also makes me crazy because I am so over these headphones that have the strings and then you whack your hand and they get knocked out of your ear. It drives me crazy. That's why I constantly need my Raycon wireless ear buds and my son's steel spine. He's 12 and takes mine.

And I ordered him a pair and I don't know if he left them at his father's or at school or what, but he stole mine again. I'm just, I'm really over it. But the Raycon earbuds are not very expensive. They're half the price of other premium wireless earbuds and they sound amazing. If you haven't bought a pair, today is your lucky day. And every time I run this promo in deal, I get so many DMs from you guys that you love them.

So I'm psyched, I'm so happy to share this. Raycon just released their best model yet. The E25s. I don't even know those are the ones I have. I have to check. They have six hours of playtime, seamless Bluetooth pairing, more bass and a more compact design.

It gives you a nice noise isolating fit. Who doesn't want that? Raycon's wireless earbuds are comfortable, perfect for on and go, and perfect for taking phone calls. Unlike other wireless options, Raycon earbuds are stylish and discrete with no dangling wires. That's the annoying part. I can't stand the flipping dangling wires and I knock them out of my ears all the time

So I need my wireless Raycon earbuds. You've heard me talk about the company It was co-founded by RayJ's celebrities like Snoop Dogg-e-Dah, Cardi B and They're all obsessed with Raycon wireless earbuds. So you need a pair. See what the hype is all about wireless earbuds. So you need a pair. See what the hype is all about. Now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon. Get 15% off your order at buyraycon.com. Slash confidence. That's buyraycon.com. Slash confidence for 15% off the already less expensive wireless earbuds that are as good as the most expensive ones out there. And my son is a con of sore on this stuff and he keeps stealing mine. So understand, this is an amazing deal.

It's buyraycon.com slash confidence so you can get your own pair. You need them. Get extra pairs for your kids if you have kids because they will steal them from you, just like mine continues to steal from me. Okay, so I want to get to some questions. As you know, I have this really cool bot on my website, Heather Monahan.com. It's called Drift, and it allows people to speak in real time to me on my site. I love this thing. So this morning I got a note from someone that said, hi Heather, I just lost my job. I had a six-figure income. Now I feel a bit disoriented and I want to sit down and catch my breath.

But I also know that I have a business to build on my own, but I'm scared. And I feel like I do not know what to do. I don't know if I have the proper tools to make it work. How did you organize yourself when you lost your job? Okay, so number one, this is why I wrote my book. If anyone knows when it lost a job, please buy them the book, Confidence Creator on Amazon or on Audible. I mean, this is literally, I walk you through it.

Not only do I walk anyone and everyone through how to create confidence in any moment, but I also share it. I mean, there's a couple of chapters about getting fired in there and how hard it was to bounce back, but the specific steps I took. Number one, any type of adversity, moment, loss, break up, firing, whatever, shine a light on the shame, the sooner you own it and shine a light on it, the faster it loses power over you. I decided to see getting fired as being in good company.

Oprah's been fired, Mark Cuban's been fired. JK Rowling's been fired, right? So, and maybe you're cheated on or dumped. Well, you're in good company because it's happened to all of us, right? So start shining a light on it, step into it, and suddenly the power that it had over you is gone. You'll feel better instantly. Create a 30-day plan because when you're going through big life changes, looking out further than 30 days can be scary. Shoot, looking 30 days can be scary, right? And just own, you're going to feel sad. I went under a weighted blanket and bomb shardinay for probably a week straight. I mean, I was a mess. But one thing that I did

that I encourage other people to do, I claimed my shame and then I shared it online. I posted on social media, hey, I just got fired. You know, it's funny, that post went viral and so many people offered to help me. So ended up being brilliant. But today I was reminded that 11 years ago today, I created my Facebook account. And I remember doing this. I was in the radio business and one of my sellers on my sales team said, Heather, you are officially divorced. You've got

to go into the dating world. The best way to do that is just launch a Facebook account. That's what he said to me. So that was sort of my way to go online to you know, reacclimate myself to being open to even dating. And that was 11 years ago. So insane. How time flies when you're having fun. So claim your shame on it. Put it out online that you need help. That you suddenly are available,

whatever your message is. But when you ask people for help, the majority of people will step up and help you and then convert those opportunities in the moment and ask for something specific. But that's definitely where I'd start. And then of course, I would listen to my first podcast episode with Gary Vee because I talk all about getting fired in that episode. So anyone can bounce back. Remember, life is not about what happens to us.

It's about how we respond to it. So come from a place of strength, create your confidence, and make this moment, that pivotal moment in your life where everything really begins to take off. That's exciting. I'm actually excited for this person. Okay. Then, Friday, I spoke, I was a keynote speaker at an annual, a company's annual conference. And I got a lot of beautiful DMs when I got home that night, but one of them, I'm gonna read to you as much as I can without giving you too much info on this person, but it's a really interesting note that I got. First and foremost, giving God all the glory

and his favor in your life, clearly as person's religious and was wishing me well, which is so nice. Congratulations on all of your achievements. My name is and we'll leave that out. I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for delivering a powerful presentation today. The past few months have been rough for me. I was hospitalized. Oh my gosh, I won't get into details. I thought I thought I was going to die and I wanted to give up. But that was not an option. I

knew that I had children to live for. As you spoke of your son today, I thought about my only son that's a 16-year-old athlete and how crazy he is about his mom too, just like yours is about you. Your voice penetrated my heart and soul. You spoke about things that I have lived to. I wanted to break down and cry today thinking about how I failed as an individual, but wasn't strong enough to fight the negative people that surrounded me. Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to believe that there actually is hope. If you push yourself hard enough, you will succeed. At my age, it may be too late for me.

This is total BS. I'm pissed reading this. I am now focusing. I'm making sure that my children make it in life in case something will happen to me. Oh, I, I, I, I read the other day and I'm getting angry again reading this. My little brother who I have raised and loved as my own, degrades me and calls me a bum. His hateful heart is disrespectful and he trashes me. Thanks to the role that I played in helping him grow and develop, he has become very successful,

but now I'm a bum because my husband, okay, that goes into her life tragedies that she's had and that she isn't financially doing well any longer and he puts her down for that. He treats me like trash and verbally abuses me. Okay, so I need to stop right there because I'm getting too fired up. First of all, no one can speak about themselves like this. Ever. The way you speak about yourself is the way others will speak about you.

So this woman is sitting there talking about herself, trash, bum. Oh heck, no. I don't, number one, I don't care if your brother calls you that. You're not gonna call yourself that. So your brother may make disparaging remarks about you because I'm not going to go ahead and repeat those things and I don't want anyone to. That's about them, not about you. Clearly your brother's threatened by you, jealous of you or feels guilty on some level. That's about him. Sorry, pal. The other thing that I

talk a lot about and I talked a lot about on Friday when I gave the speech and she's referencing it, I talked about fire your villains. And when you can't create boundaries, but I will tell you, someone making disparaging comments like that, you need to get, stand up for yourself and say, oh heck no, well no one, I don't care if you're my brother or it doesn't matter who you are. No one will treat me like that. No one will speak to me like that. And if you don't start speaking a different way, you are out of my life. There is consequence and you have just met it. My friend. Okay, that's over. I'm so disappointed that guy and I'm so hopeful that this woman is going to stand up to him and fire her villain.

Doesn't matter who he is. But then she also has to start believing you here in the note. She says, well maybe I'm too old. Heck no, hello, how old was Sam Walton when he started Walmart? Was he 50? I mean no one is too old to do anything. Flipping people have babies now in their 60s. Come on. Anything is possible. But if you're saying it's not possible, if you're saying you're too old, then you are right. Then give up on it. But it doesn't really sound like you want to because you wouldn't be sending me a note if you wanted to, right? So here's a thing. Stop the BS. Okay. Pick up the pen. Write a new narrative. I am young enough to make an investment in myself. I am special enough to be worth it. I am

enough. I am going to stand up for me. I am going after the life that I want. I am worth more. You start making those changes and the words that you use and how you think about yourself and what you allow for and you will see seismic change. If you don't know your worth, why would anyone else? And if you don't value yourself or speak about yourself in a valuable way, why would others? So make that change, start it today with you. Check yourself on your word choices. John Asraff's big into this and he actually gave me a book just about word choices and the words that we choose to use.

So he really believes he talks about not saying, I want to lose weight. He talks about, I am releasing weight from my life. I left my boyfriend. I released a negative person. He has ways of reframing things using better word choices so that we don't have to feel bad about things or at a loss. Instead, we feel empowered. And I suggest that for all of us. It's something that I'm working on. We can always get better on different things, but the first step is be aware, and the second step is put it into action because nothing happens if you actually don't do it, right?

And I'll tell you another thing. Nothing happens if you don't have a good night's sleep. And I mean, my son didn't go to bed till midnight on Saturday night when he got back from the football game. I had to get up, I had to get up. Like, got to get up, that's a good reframe right there Heather. I got to get up to go work out at 7 a.m. on Sunday and my babies that are coming.

And I was exhausted, right? Because if you don't get a good night's sleep, forget it. Your brain doesn't function correctly. Your drowsy all day, you can't put forth the energy that you need for your work out or to organize your house or you know do something fun with your family and really be in the moment because all you're thinking of is what time is it and when do I get to go to bed again? How many of you have had days like that? I seriously have. So you need

to ask yourself, did you get a good sleep last night? And were you tossing and turning in your bed? You know, do you wake up in the morning saying, I've got a pain in my neck or my back hurts and it's keeping me up? I mean, I've had stiff neck issues from sleeping and it's so worse. You feel like half your body is just tightened up and forget it. You're not going to get a good night's sleep. But when you do have a good night's sleep, we all know what that feels like. You're creative, you're energetic, you're taking on the world. It's seriously like how I woke up this morning.

I was just so excited. So a good night's sleep changes your attitude. It makes you feel happy and productive and it really is driven by how much quality sleep that you're getting. And it was so cool I saw today, the new Apple download for your iPhone, there's this new night sleeping setup on if you go into your settings so that it automatically shifts to dark mode at 10 p.m. and does not turn back to light mode with the screen till 7 a.m. and that's a great bio hack.

So make sure you check out that new update and adjust your settings accordingly. So the founders of the purple are two brothers who have been developing cushioning technology for 30 years on things like medical beds and wheelchairs. And now they've got the purple mattress for you. In 2016, they finally decided to use their patented comfort technology to create purple, The world's most scientific mattress. Why is

purple different? Well, let me tell you, the purple mattress will probably feel different than anything you've ever experienced because it uses the brand new material that was dealt by an actual rocket scientist. Oh my gosh. It was not like the memory foam that any of us have been used to. The purple material feels very unique. It's firm and soft at the same time. So it keeps everything supported while feeling really comfortable. It's also breathable so it sleeps cool. I mean this is, okay, this is what dreams are made of. Seriously, it ends up giving you a zero gravity feeling. So it works for any sleep position. Oh my gosh, you're gonna love it.

A hundred night risk free trial. So it's risk free. If you're not fully satisfied, you return your mattress for a full refund. It's backed by a 10 year warranty, free shipping and free returns. Oh my gosh, this is the Amazon of mattresses clearly. So you are going to love purple.

And right now, my listeners get a free purple pillow with the purchase of a mattress. We always want to give you something for free. That's in addition to the great free gifts that we are offering you right now, site-wide, just text confidence to 84888. The only way to get this three pillow is to text confidence to 84888. The only way to get this three pillow is to text confidence to 84888. That's confidence 84888 text message and data rates may apply. Now as we're moving into the end of the year and you're wanting to achieve your goals, I know that some of you just aren't able to hold

yourself accountable. Don't worry, I got you on that one. Just go to my website, HeatherMonahan.com, click on the Confidence Creator drop down and you'll see 30-day accountability partner, go ahead and click that. All you do is put your email address in and you're gonna get an email from me every morning for 30 days, making sure you stay accountable and achieve your

goals. I've got you on this one. I really appreciate all that you do showing up for me each week. If you can please share the podcast, it would mean the world to me. If you leave a rating and review and send me a screenshot of your DM, I buy you my $299 video course confidence creation as a big fat. Thank you So please tag me when you share this and when you post about the this episode when you post about John and what you think Please tag me please tag John

Please share on Insta story on any platform that you're on and when you DM me a screenshot of your review I got you with a free course and until next week and oh my gosh You are going to love next week, and oh my gosh, you are going to love next week's episode. I'm so freaking out. This is, I know I say this all the time, but really today was my fan moment. And then next week, your mind mind officially blown. That's all. Okay, stay tuned and can't wait to keep up with you creating your confidence and see you next week. PLEUTO TV is the leading, free streaming television service. You can watch over 100 TV channels and thousands of movies on demand, all completely for free. PLEUTO TV never even asks you for a credit card. You don't even need to sign up to watch for free. Pluto TV never even asks you for a credit card.

You don't even need to sign up to watch for free. Pluto TV is the easy and completely legal way to watch your favorite TV show and hit movies for free. What are you waiting for? Never pay for TV again by downloading Pluto TV. You can download Pluto TV for free on all of your favorite devices today,

including your phone, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Apple TV, Smart TVs, PlayStation, and anywhere you stream. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top-ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habitson Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So, most people live the life they get and not the life they want. And I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode is to give you the habits and hustle tips you need to show

up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like what do you want most in life and why don't you have it but we'll also help you make it a reality. I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Habitson Hustle once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness one episode at a time. The following is a message from the future sent by Jeannie from Progressives.

Back in 2023, you could get help from Progressive Online through a mobile app or over the phone. But here, in the future, you'll be able to chat with us from space. Maybe you're asking, why are you spending time on insurance in space? Shouldn't you be sculpting something out of moon rocks or jumping around with no gravity? Insurance seems more like a back-on back on earth kind of thing, right? Actually, in the future, space is no big deal. Aaron's a totally a burpress. That was a message from the future.

Get the help you need today with Progressive. Progressive casualty insurance company affiliates and other insurers.