Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - THIS Is How You Set Yourself Up For Success in 2023, With Heather! Episode 278

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Figuring out who is REALLY there for you  Releasing negativity   How to challenge yourself to go for MORE The power of affirmations  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Order my Soul Sayings  Show Notes:  No matter how bleak your situation is, it CAN change! You have the power to shift your life. So stop questioning yourself and start taking action. Remember to write down how you’re feeling so you can always reflect and let go. You have the POWER to make yourself happy, and I’ll share what strategies work for me when it comes to managing stress and recognizing my progress! Set yourself up for the BEST year in 2023 and get rid of all the negativity in your life that’s holding you back!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road... Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay. That's where USAA steps in. We help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls. That's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates. San Antonio, Texas.

So, you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this bag of popcorn. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We've come at diversity and set you up for better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close time. to overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. Love your new sleep, yeah.

I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, I love getting DMs and messages from people who have read my books. It makes me feel so happy. And it just encourages me that I'm on the right path. It tells me, okay, you're doing the right thing.

And I always try to lower expectations on myself, because I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm sure you may be the same way. And I'll say, if my work just helps one person and makes a difference in one person's life, that's enough. To me, that's everything, right? That's amazing, incredible.

And so I received this DM, I'm actually gonna share two different DMs with you because I think it's important to note that no matter how bleak your situation can be, it can change and it's up to you to be the person that changes it, right? So, okay, I received this on Facebook, actually, of Facebook DM. Hey Heather,, your last post prompted me to finally share something

with you. Please share things with me, guys. I love hearing it. It makes me so proud of you and happy and excited. Okay, six months ago, I was in a very dark time in my life. I found myself in an emotionally abusive marriage. I started to use the strategy of leaving the room whenever we would have an argument. marriage. I started to use the strategy of leaving the room whenever we would have an argument. And when I would leave the room, I would go somewhere quiet and I would read Confidence Creator.

That's my first book. This book is a game changer, by the way. I love it. I'm so proud that people love it. And it's changed so many people's lives. Super proud of that. Okay. Maybe because I could hear your voice

when I was reading the book. Your message called to me from the grave of my former, more confident self. I was reminded of what I deserve and how my actions will either make that possible or make it impossible. That's so true. In February, I finally left, which in this case meant packing my bags and flying from one continent to another to go home. In June, I finalized my divorce. While there's much to be learned, there are also very few people who have walked in my shoes that I know. In short, when I cheer for you, it comes from the heart, keep up your work. It's truly inspiring and life changing. And I'm so grateful for that message.

And what I want to share about that is, this is somebody who had lost their confidence. They had known at one point in their life what confidence looked like, and they had lost it. And that happens to so many of us that happened to me when I was working side by side with a woman that despised me. It happened so slowly and quietly,

which I think is probably similar to what this woman's writing. She didn't marry this person knowing it was going to be an abusive marriage, right? She didn't sign up for that. I would imagine. I would imagine she signed up for the fairy tale and, you know, the happy relationship and what you're hoping for.

However, slowly, usually it happens slowly over time. You start noticing things that are, wait a minute, that's weird. This is what it was like for me in corporate America. I started noticing, you know, at first this woman was smiling when I met her and then slowly it was, oh, you knew she was talking behind your back. You knew she was stabbing in the back. You knew she was setting you up.

You knew she was creating obstacles for you. I'd address it, she wouldn't respond. It just got worse and worse, but it happens really quietly and slowly. Do you feel me on that? So it wasn't like one of those moments you just jump out and you're going to knock somebody out because they spit in your face, right? I'm sure that was the same with this woman and this abusive marriage.

So you can almost see more challenging, right, when things are happening quietly. You start questioning yourself. You're like, is this me? Is this normal? Wait a minute. Why is this happening? And as you start questioning yourself, especially if you're keeping it to yourself. You're like, is this me? Is this normal? Wait a minute. Why is this happening? And as you start questioning yourself, especially if you're keeping it to yourself and you're the only one that's observing this, you might start diminishing yourself. And that's definitely

what I found was happening to me. I thought if I just shrink back for a little bit, maybe this lady will go away, maybe she'll lead me alone, maybe this craziness will end. And it sounds like that's what happened to this woman too, is that over time she allowed it to chip away at her confidence. So you're not alone, whether you're in a work environment, a personal relationship, maybe it's a relationship with a relative, right? And you're having to deal with this at the holidays. You are not alone.

It happens to show many people the key is you have the power to change it. Information, application, transformation, I've been talking about this a lot lately. You've got to expose yourself to new information at frequency, which means often, not just once, don't just, you know, listen to an uplifting podcast or or audible book once, right, you need to surround yourself with that encouragement, so it keeps you focused on your goal, focused on that you know you're going in the right direction. For a long time, when I was in corporate America and I was in that negative environment and culture, right?

And it was a toxic culture. It permeated beyond this woman treating me badly. I mean, it was happening all across the company. Again, I wasn't, I had blinders on back then. I just wasn't seeing it. Part of the reason is because I thought I had to be there. I thought I was successful because of the company. I wasn't giving myself credit, which is a whole other issue around lacking confidence

and not stepping into your power, right? So don't give your power away. If you're successful on something, it's because of you. Not because of who you work side-by-side with, or what product you're selling. It's because of you. And I know that for a fact, because I felt that way at one point in time, and I'm so far removed from it now,

and I know that is not a truth, although some people might want you to believe it. So keep surrounding yourself with the right people that encourage you, that wanna lift you up, that wanna challenge you to get to the next level, that wanna cheer you on, and we'll call you out when you need to be called out. And appreciate constructive criticism, even though in some moments it can be tough to take,

as long as people have a good heart and have your interest at heart, all of that's going to help you. Right. It's a problem when the people don't. And you know the difference. You know, look within. You can see pretty quickly, hey, wait a minute, this has happened slowly over time, but this stinks and this person does, I don't get good energy from them. And

they're not treating me respectfully. I recently had a really good friend of mine, contact me, if I hadn't talked to him in a little while and explain a situation that was going on in his marriage. And I just, I was shocked to hear it. The last time I had spent time with this couple, they were both really confident and positive. And they seemed like they're going through a really tough time, but doing so in a silo, where they weren't sharing what was going on with other people, they started thinking it was normal.

And it was so surreal to me to just see how, over a finite period of time, when you put yourself in a silo and you hold onto these thoughts and you don't expose yourself to uplifting people and people helping you to grow and giving you perspective, you can start thinking in unhealthy ways. I've certainly been there.

I'm reading these DMs and I see other people have been there. You're not alone. Please seek out people to encourage you. And if you don't have those people in your life, seek out the podcast, seek out the books. There's so many of them out there. The TED Talks, there's so much content out there. Get the information that's going to support you and uplift you. Then apply it to your life and watch Transformation occur. Information, application, transformation, set yourself up for the

best year you can for 2023. That means getting rid of the negative people in your life now, overcome your villains, or you've got to fire those villains, surround yourself with the right people, and you do that by creating space, when you get rid of the negative people, you create space for the positive people to show up and arrive. They will not arrive as long as you have these negative people blocking you,

and you're dimming your light, right? You're not gonna find your team and your crew. Okay, so then, so that was one DM that I wanted to share with you that was the results of my first book confidence creator, which again, as I mentioned, I mean, it's incredible to me the messages I've gotten about that book. I'm super, super proud. Okay, then today on IG, I hope you feel proud of you too, by the way.

Take a look at the feedback you get from people and the good that you're doing. And if you're not feeling that way, see who you can help around the holidays. See if you can drop toys off to a toy drive. See if you can go volunteer somewhere and aid in any small way you can. That is a surefire way to feel amazing about yourself. Anytime I do something to help others, it makes me feel so proud of who I am and so grateful for that opportunity and it helps you kind of forget about the small things that you might be obsessing over or, you know, thinking about. And instead put the focus on the right things, which is doing good in the world, bringing joy to the

world, seeking joy, being a light in a dark time. And as you move forward and do that, you will feel more proud of yourself. You will feel more uplifted. And you'll vibrate at a higher level and start attracting higher level people to you. That, I know, is fact. Okay, so I got a DM today that said, hey, just wanted to say thank you for the reminder that it's okay to dial up my look.

Even if it makes others uncomfortable, I realize this morning I keep toning down my look because I can't be quote unquote too much. And that's just not true. Here's to turning over a new leaf and enhancing a style that will fuel my confidence. Facts, I love that. So here's the thing, you can never be too much for the right people. When you're around the right people, they're going to challenge you to go bigger, go for more. Dial up your look, but get you to step into uncomfortable to challenge you to go for more. They're not going to be the one saying, you're going to wear that to work.

That's not a good idea. That was the voice of the woman that I used to work side by side with. You're going to wear a dress in your hair in a ponytail. Oh my gosh, you know, when I was rocking like this adorable look and I was super proud of it. And she was just trying to get me to second guess myself. And it worked, right? I did because my confidence was diminished,

I would let those negative remarks hit me hard. And for a while, I started showing up in pants suits only and you know, with my hair in a bun and trying to be someone I wasn't. And I can promise you this, I started showing up in pantsuits only and you know with my hair in a bun and Trying to be someone I wasn't and I can promise you this The more you try to show up as someone that you are not the more you are an imposter The only way you will ever truly be an imposter in your life is by trying to show up as someone other than you Show up as you rock that look rock your confidence, whatever that looks like for you, but be the best version of you so that you attract the right like

mind to people back to you. As I was showing up as a watered down version of myself, I was attracting the wrong people towards me, wrong personal relationships, wrong business relationships, because I wasn't being the real me. I was trying to be someone else because I thought that would make someone else comfortable. That is an epic fail and that is denying the world of your unique traits and gifts and blessings that you have. Don't hide those from the world, shine them and shine them bright because we live in a world that needs some light, that needs some goodness and it's all within you. You've just got to be willing to step into the confidence that you

got inside and start rocking that look, rocking it, you're vibe, rocking your words and knowing you can never be too much for the right people. That is a straight up fact. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time at power station North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities. They've identified nine key substations. If these substations are attacked, power could be knocked out from coast to coast for up to 18 months. Imagine a black outlasting, not days, but weeks or months, your life would be frozen right in time right when the power goes out.

That's why having your own solar power is more important than ever. With the Patriot Power Generator, you get a solar generator that doesn't install into your house, because it's portable. You can take it with you. Even use it inside. But it's powerful enough for your phones, medical devices, or even your fridge. And right now, you can go to FordPatreots.com and use code Confidence to get 10% off your first purchase on anything in the store, including the Patriot Power Generator.

You'll also get their famous guarantee for an entire year after your order. Plus, free shipping on orders over $97, and a portion of every sale is donated to charities who support our veterans and their families. Just go to 4patriots.com and use code confidence to get 10% off. That's 4patriots.com and use code confidence to get yours today. If your business earns millions or tens of millions of revenue, stop what you're doing and take a listen because NetSuite by Oracle has just rolled out the best offer we've ever seen.

NetSuite gives you the visibility control you need to make better decisions faster. And for the first time in NetSuite's 22 years as the number one cloud financial system, you can defer payments of a full NetSuite implementation for six months. That's no payment, no interest for six months. And you can take advantage of this special financing offer today. NetSuite is number one because they give your business

everything you need in real time, all in one place to reduce manual processes, boost efficiency, build forecast, and increase productivity across every department. Now listen, the importance of having all this information in one place to make better decisions is unprecedented. The offer next week is giving you is unbelievable and it's making it all possible for you to have it now. 33,000 companies have already upgraded to next week gaining visibility and control over their financials, inventory, HR, e-commerce, and more. If you've been sizing next week up to make the switch, then you know this deal is unprecedented.

No interest, no payments. Take advantage of the special financing offer at NetSuite.com slash monahan. NetSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash monahan. Those are just a couple of quick notes I wanted to share with you that I want you to know.

I love getting your messages. I love when you leave me reviews. I read them all. I'm super grateful. I love the feedback. And I just want to say thank you for taking the time to send me your notes. I love hearing about your stories and I love hearing about your accomplishments, your challenges.

And again, it reaffirms that we're all in this together and we're all so much more alike than we are different. So know that you are not alone. And I am here cheering you on, if you don't have anybody else in your life cheering you on right now, know that I am and I'm here for it and I'm here for your big bold moves and you can never be too much. So the other thing I wanted to get into today was I was reflecting on first

thing in the morning, I have an intention every day, right? And I hope that you set your day up for success with intention. Every day I have a few different papers that I have an adjure that I pull out and I read them. And it's to remind me, you know, what I'm grateful for, It's to remind me of what I'm going for, what I want to achieve, what I want to do with my life, who I am, who I want to show up and be every day. Right, just really remind myself, and it's a discipline to have this intention

and routine each morning. I mean, it literally takes me a couple of minutes. It does not take long at all, but it helps get my day off on the right foot, and it helps me to be really mindful about who I am and where I'm going and what my purpose is. Right, and bring me back to this idea that we're here to make a difference.

We're here to make the world a better place, instead of we're just here to go through the motions, because we're not here to go through the motions. We're here for so much more than that. And what, I hope you have this intentional practice in the morning. If you don't, oh my gosh, try it for 30 days, you will totally keep it,

because you will see changes happening in your life that really set you up for success, and you're gonna feel proud. And you're gonna do more good, and you're gonna build momentum on it. So I was reading through, I read through the same, for the most part, it's the same stuff every day, but occasionally I'll add some new things in or I had someone send me a prayer that I really love so I added

that prayer and I've added some things in along the way. I've been doing this for over a year now and it's been so helpful and really set me up for a great mindset. It's a great routine and for more success. So give it a shot. Anyhow, when things happen in my life that are like, ooh, big moments, I write them down. I encourage you to write them down. Because what happens is as we move far away from them, we forget the impact that they had.

Right? So a good example. I'll give the analogy of I shared with you that I had fallen down Thanksgiving week and I had this bump on my head. Now, when it first happened, the bump was big right and over the next two weeks, it got a lot smaller. But I forget how big it was when it happened because I look in the mirror every single day and I'm like, oh, there's still a bump there. There's so annoying. My son said to me today, he said, mom, there's barely any bump there. Don't you remember how big it was the day it happened? And I had forgotten, right? And that's so true of not only a bump on your head or a challenge you might be facing,

but looking back in your life at big, challenging moments and then as time passes, you forget, oh my gosh, this was a huge deal that I overcame this or this was a huge revelation. I want to remind myself of this. So it's really important in the moment when you're going through something to write something down so that you know what was really transpiring because your memory will not serve you to the degree that you think that it actually will.

Memories unfortunately are not accurate, right? Because we get busy time passes, and we simply forget. So write these things down, write these milestones down. So one of these milestones for me over the last year, this last year has been incredible for me. Truly, one of the most transformational years of my life. And that's for so many reasons, a big part of it is because of my faith

and strengthening my relationship with God and finding my church and so many amazing things that have happened for me, but there's more to it than just that. That is a big, big part of it, and that was really driven by my son who's incredible, and I'm so proud of. But that was one aspect of it. As this journey's gone on for me this year, and this transformations happened for me, which I'm so grateful for, I have noticed different things. One of the things is the impact prayer has had on my life. One of these things is the impact intention has had on my life.

There's all these different things that I've incorporated in a fierce way in 2022 and to my life in a bold way, which had been in my life a little bit before, but not to the level and commitment that they are now. And I've recorded, because I write down everything, because I'm a maniac, but I've recorded examples for myself so that I don't forget, right? If something's working, I don't wanna forget. And so I had written down this example,

and it's one of the things that I read each morning and I'll share it with you. I might have shared this actually on a previous episode, I'm not sure if I have. Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure I did a while ago. I had wanted to sell my condo for years and I just never thought I was going to be able to because I had bought my condo in 2005 when the market was at, was the height of the market right before, you know, the O8 crash. So I had just decided that I guess I was going to own that condo forever and I'd have to end up renting it out and, you know, buy something else whatever. I just kind of gave up on it. But I, in my heart of hearts, I, I really wanted to sell that condo. Cut to, I really started, you know,

praying about it. I started asking God to show me away, to show me signs. Anyways, the most incredible things start happening. And this is all back when, at the beginning of the year in 2022. First of all, I had fired a major villain from my life at the beginning of the year, which cleared space for opportunity and positive things that happened. I really recommitted to my faith. I started going to church every Sunday with my son, really diving in so much more to faith and God

and my relationship with God, to prayer. And it had a huge impact. As well as, I'm always reading at different personal development books and I'm always researching and you know I want to I want to be the best version of myself that's possible out there right which I'm sure you do as well and so information is really a cornerstone to that whether you're reading the Bible or you're reading Joe dispenses books or you're reading my books you know it doesn't matter there's

what I'm finding but older I get in the more knowledge I've access and I have read so many books over the last five years. It's incredible. I read almost a book a week because the podcast I read so many books, but that's starting me down a journey of wanting to garner more information and access more information.

And what I'm starting to see is whether it be, there's a through thread, whether I'm reading the Bible or I'm reading a book from the 1950s, or I'm reading Ask and It's Given. There's so much in common between all of these works, which says to me, everyone operates on a different frequency, right? Some people connect with the way I say things, and my example, some people don't at all. And this is why it's important that there are

multitudes of books out there in writings. For me, when a book connects with me, I start seeing, oh, I remember this from another book. Oh, this is a truth, because I remember finding this from another successful person's book, or, and I start connecting the dots in ways that are so powerful and so impactful. So, it really helps me to garner information

from different sources and then put it together in a way that works for me in my life. And that's what I hope for for you. You might read a bunch of different books and say, well, part of this works for me part of it doesn't. That's fine, right? Take the pieces that work for you, test and try them, apply them to your life

so that you implement some change, hold yourself accountable, right, and see what happens. And so as I move through 2022, incredible life changing things happen in my life that I mean, I can't even go into all the detail because there's not enough time and it's just insane. But that one example, a use of wanting to sell my condo,

praying about it, writing it down with intention, asking God for it, asking the universe for it, right? And then suddenly things started showing up in the most incredible miraculous. There's no other way to say it, but it was a miracle, and there were a number of miracles this year for me, and I'm so grateful for that. So what that shows me and why I'm so glad I write this stuff down is I'm going to keep praying. I'm going to keep going to church. I'm going to keep strengthening my relationship with God. I'm going to keep reading the Bible. I'm going to I'm going to keep reading these other works and figuring out more works that I can

read that I feel like are in line with the same messaging, right? Around asking and you shall receive around energy and around, you know, removing negative people and negative situations and spending time and joy. And it's just, it's incredible to me that when we write things down and witness these miracles that happen our life, when we write them down and revisit them daily or at least weekly, we remind ourselves, hey, stay close to this, stay close to your church, stay close to your faith, put your faith over your fear.

Choose joy. It's reminding me on the daily to stay on this path so that I won't veer from it, which I had done before. And I veered from it because negative people came into my life or I felt stuck or I got afraid and I started leaning into fear. I made choices that were taking me off the path that I'm now on. So now I know that I have the potential to come off the path. I've got to keep myself on it, right? I've got to hold myself accountable. I've got to remind myself and that's what I want for you. When you write these things down, when you're living through Miracle and you might not know that you're living your about to be confronted with a miracle tomorrow, today, you don't know that yet, but it's important to

take notes, journal, and really track your progress, and notice, what are the things that I'm doing right now? Am I making good decisions? Am I supporting myself? Am I making myself a priority? What is my relationship like with God? What is my relationship like with the people in my life? Are they supporting me? Am I supporting them? Am I making good choices?

And as we notice and pay attention to all these things and we're intentional around what we're doing, start noticing what's showing up for you, start noticing what you're asking for and if those, you're knocking on those doors and they're opening. Every morning I say, God, please close the doors, you know, on that, which is not no longer meant for me and please open the doors to that, which is whether it be personal relationships, business relationships, partnerships, work, it doesn't matter. It's just something that I ask for on daily and I pay attention to and I notice, right? So the example of the condo is I was tracking that I was asking for these things.

I was praying about it. I was writing it down with intention. I was asking the universe, you know, to show me a way to open a door to allow this condo to be sold for the divine, right buyer to come at the divine right timing. And I believe it was three at three offers and accepted all three and each one of them fell apart. And this was happening over, gosh,

maybe a five-month period. And the market climate was changing in Miami, and I was freaking out, and I was panicking. And instead of letting go, let go and let go. I was trying to hold on with desperation to why isn't this happening? Let's force it. Can't we make the sale go through?

What do you mean it fell apart? And I was moving back to my old ways, back to fear, back to control. And of course, when you move towards fear and trying to control everything, things are going to fall apart. That's not a successful plan or strategy. I know that in theory, but I was so knee deep in it that it blew up in my face. The deals, I believe it was three deals, fell apart. And so I started getting really discouraged. Well, during this time, I decided, you know, one of the things that I've been reading a lot about is

when you start fixating on the outcome that you want, not how it's gonna happen, but the outcome that you want, that's a good strategy, which is something new for me. I hadn't done that previously. And so one of the things that I did that I thought maybe could help me was how their goal find a new place that you want to live. And when you do that, you know,

fixate on that location, fixate on, you know, moving in there, drive by it, whatever. So I during this time where all these deals were falling apart and I was getting very discouraged, I tried to get myself to just fixate on where I wanted to go. So I would drive by this place that I fell in love with. I had gone in and seen it. I wanted to put an offer on so bad, but I needed to wait for my condo to close. And remember, you know, I was in the middle of this three different deals falling apart over a few month period. So I didn't feel confident that it was going to happen. Well, wouldn't you know, at the end of the summer, it was looking really good for my condo deal to go through.

And so I immediately went back to see this other location that I had fallen in love with. To me, it was perfect. It was so beautiful. It was so amazing. It was a little more money that I wanted to spend, shocker. But I was so excited. I couldn't wait to live there.

Well, I get there and they adjust sold the location to somebody else. And it was under contract. It was a done deal, right? The ship had sailed. I went into total upset phase, you know, I mean, I think I even cried. I was just so heartbroken that in my mind, this was the most perfect place in the world. And what do you mean somebody else got it? No, it's got to fall apart and I started obsessing about that. Right? This is meant for me. Even though every morning I was getting up and asking God, please close the doors on that, which is not meant for me, please open the doors on that, which is meant for me. But I wasn't really

living it. I was saying it, which is a great first step, right? Because we want to plant the seeds. We want to make these suggestions to our mind, to our subconscious, to our everyday life of what we want. And we want to ask for what we want. But then we also have to get real with ourselves and say, am I really living this, right? I'm asking for it, but am I living it?

If I am going to have a strong relationship with God, I have to have faith. I have to let go of this idea that I control everything. I don't control, you know, the majority of things of the world. I can control my choices and my actions, but that's about it. And so I had to let go. And that was a struggle for me. But what I've learned, and when I read the things that I've written during this time period, right, because I've reflect on it every morning, because it was so powerful and so big in my life. And I don't want to forget it. What I realized is this, the longer I was holding onto it,

driving over to that house, getting upset, crying, feeling so bad for myself, wanting to find a way to unwind the new buyer and get them out of there. So I could get into my house. I was calling it that, by the way. I had to let go of that. I had to let go and let God. I had to say, wait a minute, I've been asking for God to close the doors on that, which is not meant for me. Maybe this was not meant for me. Maybe I need to have faith right now to just let go. And if it is meant for me, it will show up somehow and it will be for me. And that

was the hardest part for me. And this is why I wrote it all down. It was really, really challenging for me. I've had control issues my entire life, right? That I want to control everything and I want to force the outcomes. What I've learned is that's wrong. And so I've learned so much of that through my relationship with my faith and through so much of the, so much through the books that I've read over the past year

has really brought me to this. And now I'm finally starting to live it. I'm not perfect at it, by the way, because I'm 48 years old. We've got a lot of years under our belt of doing it one way, which didn't work, but this new way does work. And that's why I write down these examples

and I read them and reread them all the time to remind myself, hey, stay on this path. This is the proof that you need. So when you have these moments, write them down, read them with intention on the daily to remind yourself of the path that you do want to stay on, and this is the proof as to why you should do it. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify, and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide.

Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify is simplifies selling online and in person, so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel from in-person POS system to all-in-one e-commerce platforms and even lets you sell across social media marketplaces like TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram. Packed with industry-leading tools ready to ignite your growth, Shopify gives you complete control over your business and your brand. And thanks to 24-7 Help and Extensive Business Course Library, Shopify is there to support

your success every step of the way. I love Shopify. What's been incredible for me about Shopify is how no matter how big you want to grow, Shopify is there to empower you and give you the confidence and control to revolutionize your business and take your business to the next level. Now it's your turn. Get serious about selling and try Shopify today.

This is Possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com. Slash monahen, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com. Slash monahen to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com. Slash monahen. See you have a business idea,

but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree, listen to the Millionaire University podcast, learn how to run a successful business, and graduate rich, not broke. Trust me, you need to check out this podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, who started their business from square one, and now have years of valuable experience. They hit lows and dug themselves out of debt, and wanna share the lessons they've learned

with aspiring entrepreneurs. You don't need a degree to succeed. Millionaire University will teach you everything you need to know. From specifics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad topics, like eight businesses you can start tomorrow to make 10K a month.

In each episode, you'll get insights from entrepreneurs and mentors who know what it takes to be successful. So don't wait. Now is the time to turn your business idea into a reality by listening to the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Find the Millionaire University podcast. New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday.

Find the Millionaire University on Apple. Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. I end up deciding, all right, I'm gonna have to let go and let God. And even though it was so hard for me to say, oh my gosh, it was so awful. And it reminds me of relationships too. I have so many of these in my life where,

why did you know, why did my boyfriend cheat on me? And why did this happen? We were supposed to get married. And this is how it was supposed to be. You know, and I would go through, my gosh, I can't tell you a number of times have I gone through those emotions where, no, I want to hang on and like,

strangle the life out of everything to make it work and make it happen instead of just saying, you know what, this doesn't feel right and this isn't right for me. And I can let go and let go and have faith that this door is meant to be closed for now for me. If it's meant to open in the future, it will. And if it's not, something else better will be there

and have that faith. I did not live like that before. And it's caused me so many problems in my life. Problems I don't want for you. So this idea of letting go, letting God or letting the universe, however you want to say it, and having this faith that if the door closes, it wasn't meant for you, you don't need to be smashing on the door and, you know, taking an axe out and trying to knock the door down, the way that I've lived my life, but instead you can gracefully walk away

in faith knowing that that right door will open for you, whichever one is meant to. Okay, so this was all happening, and I slowly started releasing my chokehold on that place that I wanted so badly that I called my house that I was crying over and I started opening my mind to, okay, this door has been closed because it's not meant for me, which means there is a door out there that is meant for me and it's got to be something better.

And so I called my realtor and I said, we need to start looking at other places. I want to open my mind to other possibility out there. I need to move on from this one location since it's gone, emotionally, mentally. I've got to take some action here and get myself moving in a different direction. And wouldn't you know, we went and saw a place. And I thought, you know what, this is fine. I'm going to make an offer.

And I made an offer on this location. I wasn't in love with the place, but I thought, you know what? This is fine. It's fine. Let's just get it. And so I was negotiating with the place, but I thought, you know what? This is fine. It's fine. Let's just get it. And so I was negotiating with the Reelder and the Reelder was awful and treating me in a way that I was not happy about and my son was watching me on text. And he said, he grabbed my hand and he said, Mom, you look very upset right now and very

annoyed. If this home was meant for us, it would be going through easily and with ease and grace. And it wouldn't be this upset and challenge and fighting. He said, I don't think God's hand is on this, which means I don't think our hand should be on it. I think you should let it go. And I remember thinking myself, oh, he's so profound. He's so smart. And he is an old soul. And he's right. I was fighting with the Reelder, you know, on text, and I decided to put the phone down to let go and let God. And I went to bed that night, and I felt at peace with what I had decided, and I thought,

I'll pick this up in the morning, and the morning I picked the phone, and somebody else had got that location, right? And I just decided to say, okay, then that one wasn't meant for us. Please close the doors on that, which is not meant for us. So I let go and I let go and I did not get all upset and angry, which is the way that I would have handled it in the past. I just said, I'm gonna let go.

And another better door will open for me. So the next day I went to look at condos with my Reelder and we went in and saw this beautiful place. It was really expensive. So I start trying to negotiate with a guy on site. It was a gorgeous place. I had never been in the building. It was really, really beautiful.

And I start trying to negotiate with him while we're there face to face because I just want to get a deal done. And I love the place. It was really beautiful. Bigger than what I needed, but I loved it. And the guy gave me this cold stare and said, you're out of your mind if you think we're gonna negotiate

at all, this will be done full asking praise or not done at all. And I remember thinking, what? Not negotiate, you're crazy. And I looked him right back in the eyes, I said, well, then I'm not your buyer. And I looked my realtor and I said, let's go.

And we left. And I was so clear and I just knew. And it was so freeing in this idea of close the door and that, which is not meant for me, the way the man addressed me and the fact that he wouldn't even entertain any type of negotiation just said to me, like, this is not my deal at all. And so it just became clear, okay, this door is closing too. Something better is out there. And so my realtor said, okay, this door is closing too. Something better is out there. And so my Realtor said, okay, we have one place left to see today, Heather, and then I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board.

And I said, okay, it's fine. I know that the right door is out there somewhere. We just haven't found it yet. And I'm going to move forward in this faith that I don't control everything, but there is something better out there when I let go and let it unfold. And so we arrived at the final place, and I had never been at the building before, and we got up to the unit, and I knew instantaneously that this was my home. It was so crazy, and it was so gorgeous, and it was so much less money than the place

we had just seen that I was making an offer on. And it all came together with such ease and grace. And the other realtor was so nice and kind. And I told her immediately I wanted it. And she told me immediately she wanted me to get it. And it all worked. And it was seamless. And there was no fighting.

And there was no drama. And I would have never found this place where I live now if I hadn't let go of that first place. Remember the one that I told you I was so obsessed with I used to drive over and look at it all the time. Where I live now is so much of a better fit for me, location-wise, size-wise, price-wise, everything. And I like it better.

But I would have never found where I am today. If I hadn't let go of this idea of something else being meant for me. So it's this big life lesson for me. And there's so many examples of this in my life. I can't even, I look back on it in so many times. Did I try to strangle something to death to try to make it work? Because I thought it had to be this way. That as you learn, there is proof, and for me, that one story to share with you is just an example that there is proof, when you let go of mediocre,

you open the door to grab great. Right, you've got to be willing to let go of that, which is not meant for you in order to grab that, which is. And the best is yet to come. That next thing, and that next door holds so much more, but you have to be willing to let go of the other one. And for so long in my life, I was holding on and strangling things

to try to control them, even when they weren't the best. Because out of fear, out of the fear of the unknown, out of fear of the future, out of fear of what's behind door number three, when now I'm living in door three, and it's the best ever, I couldn't be happier, I'm so grateful every day, and I love reading through that story every morning for me,

for sure that's going in my next book, by the way, but I love reading through that story, which is all about letting go of that, which is not meant for us, so that we can open the doors to that which is, and that which is not meant for us so that we can open the doors to that which is. And that which is ahead of us is so much better than you can ever imagine,

but you won't find it until you let go. This episode is brought to you by Snapple. Want to taste the flavoriest flavors, however flavor? Snapple is ridiculously flavorful, and you can uncap a snapple real fat with every bottle, like, towels produce more milk when they listen to music. Come on, leave the ridiculousness to Snapple, and grab one of your favorites that pack a punch.

Explore all of the delicious flavors at snapple.com. So I don't know what it is that you're holding on to in your life. If it's a person, if it's people, if it's a profession, a company, a bad habit, if it's, you know, the home you wanted to buy and you can't get over your not getting it, AKA, that was me a couple of months ago. But I'm here today with proof to tell you when you let go of the doors that are closing on you and they're closing for a reason, you actually open up the door to something so much better. And that was the same way with my job when I got fired. That was the same way with relationships in my life that I was so afraid to let go of, because what if there wasn't something better

on the other side, but instead moving forward, knowing what you're worth, knowing your value and knowing when something isn't the right fit for you. Like my son said, when that Reelder was treating me in a rude manner, that's not our deal. That these aren't our people. We don't need to be treated that way. That right door will open and when it does, it will happen with ease and grace because that's what we're asking for. That's what we're praying for and that's the energy we're putting out there. So I hope that that story helps you in some way to let go of something that you're trying to hold on to that isn't meant for you. And

if you're having those moments, be sure to ask, please close the doors on that which is not meant for me and please open the doors to that which is. The best is yet to come and that is for sure. I am positive about that. Okay, so we're getting close to the holiday right now. If you have an ordered confidence creator or overcome your villains for someone that you love, oh my gosh, get it now. Both are on sale right now. It's crazy. Overcome your villains. The hardcover is like $16, which is 40% off, it's incredible. And you can still get it in time for the holiday. Please set somebody up for success for 2023. Give them the information they need

so they can then intern apply it to their life and start to transform in ways that you know are possible. I also just launched my new product, SoulSings, oh my gosh, go to my link in my Instagram account, you'll see it. I have these incredible, I'm so proud of these, I partnered with a friend of mine, who has an incredible shoe company, and we put together sings.

Basically, everybody needs to be able to pick themselves up once in a while. Well, on the days when you're struggling too, we did the hard work for you. We put notes on the bottom of your shoes, you can order these online. They're only $10. They're such a great stocking stuff

or such a great gift to uplift somebody else. We all need encouragement once in a while. And I hope that I get to be there to encourage you through this show, through my books, through the podcast, through my soul sakes now. I'm super excited to hear what you think. As always, drop me a DM.

Please leave a review if you like the show, share it with someone that you love until next week. Keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I'm gonna write a word over here. I decided to change that tiny amount. And if I fail, I couldn't be more excited for what you're getting here.

Start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. You know what? 16 to 11. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Halah Tahha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your

daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview a list guests on Young and Profiting. I've got the best guest. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's going to push your life forward.

I do my research, I get straight to the point and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you. It's an advanced show. As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young Your Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam. On Apple Spotify

Cast Box or wherever you listen to your podcast.