Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - What Powerful Conviction Can Do For You with Heather! Episode 106
Episode Date: April 21, 2021Have you ever tackled a problem with complete and utter conviction? Things change when you are committed to your goals. You do more and the people around you want to help! There is so much power in re...lentless determination and when you embrace your challenges, you will surmount them. Today we talk about what conviction can really do and how to advocate for yourself. Let’s answer your questions and get this done! Rate, Review, and Subscribe to the podcast here! To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE  If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com  *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow.
After no sleep,
you're ready for my close-up.
Hi and welcome back.
I'm so excited.
You're back here with me this week.
I hope you're loving the new format.
Please hit me up in the DMs.
Go to my website, HeatherMontahan.com.
Let me know what you think.
This show is for you.
I want to make sure that you're getting what you need,
what you want from it.
And I heard some feedback that people like the new format.
So I'm hoping that it works for everyone.
Okay, crazy, crazy situation.
You know, I don't know if I told you this on Easter Sunday,
I accidentally dropped my wallet
in the trash shoot in my building.
I was doing 9 million things at the same time.
I couldn't carry everything that I had in my hands.
So I dropped my wallet in the Whole Foods bag.
I just got home from the grocery store.
And then I forgot that I did that.
And so when I took all the big things out of the bag,
there was still my little wallet at the bottom
and anyhow, I inadvertently went to throw all the bags out
and didn't notice it was still in there
through it down the trash shoot.
Okay, I didn't notice it till the next morning.
So it was Easter Sunday in the morning.
I was getting ready to go to the gym or go to spin actually out on the roof that I always
go to.
And all of a sudden I looked for my wallet, it was gone.
And I knew right then I thought, oh my gosh, you're going to be kidding me.
I totally blew it.
I can't believe I did this.
It's actually the second time I've done it.
At last time was 10 years ago.
So decent pace, right?
Once every decade I do something completely ridiculous.
So, all right, so here's what I do.
I got super clear because it was the second time
that I had done this.
I knew I could get it out of there, right?
I didn't know how, but I knew I was getting it out of there
because my vaccine card was in there,
which made it even more, I had to get it because I was coming up,
I'm getting my second vaccine and, you know,
I'm not about to lose that card.
No fricking way and start over from scratch again with the vaccines.
So I went flying downstairs.
It was talking to the guy at the front desk.
I'm like, listen, you need to open up that trash room for me
because I am jumping in that dumpster
and finding my wallet.
I don't care what anyone thinks about this.
This is happening right now.
So he was so nice and he helped me to open the room up,
but then we couldn't figure out
how to open the actual dumpster.
It was locked somehow.
And he and I were kicking it.
We were getting, you know, we're going crazy trying to get in.
Anyways, make a long story longer.
So he says, I don't think we can do anything.
We'll have to wait till tomorrow when the team's back.
You know, all the maintenance people and everything,
you know, on Monday and I said, no, absolutely not.
Because what will happen is so much more trash is gonna go in.
It's gonna be too hard to find.
We need to find someone now, who can we call?
And so he ends up calling one of the maintenance guys.
He's at home with his kids Easter Sunday, so sad.
And we have Ron FaceTime with him showing him
how we can't get in.
And finally the guy just said,
you know what, I'm just gonna head over there.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So flipping nice. So this guy comes over and waiting for him.
Well, I came back up to my apartment to get money because I had to thank him
somehow.
So kind of him to do this on Easter Sunday.
He gets the dumpster open and he looks to me and he says, listen, there's a lot
in there.
I just don't, I don't want you to get your hopes up.
And I said, no, listen to me.
We're finding it. It don't worry. This is happening. I just was so crystal clear on it. Because I knew
it was in there, right? And I'm not going to leave. I don't I will stay there all day. It's like
pull every piece of trash out. I'm getting that wallet. So he was he was kind of saw how serious. I
was about this. And I said, I said, you don't have to do it. I'll jump in there myself and do it.
And he said, oh my gosh, no way.
He was so kind.
So he ends up pulling out some trash.
And he had an idea on how we could,
it's packed so tight in there.
It's compressed.
And so he had an idea.
And his idea was great.
And he ends up pulling a few things out
so that a lot of things would come out.
And what didn't even know, I mean, within 10 minutes,
he says, there it is.
And he saw the whole food's bag.
He said, I know that's it right there.
He picked it up and it was my wallet.
It was so crazy, it was so exciting.
But the reason why I wanted to share that story with you
is when we get determined on something, listen,
the first guy tried to tell me that we couldn't do it,
because it was a Sunday, and then it was Easter Sunday.
And then the next guy, you know,
wanted to set my expectations,
hey, probably not gonna find it.
Every time someone said to me, no, I said,
absolutely not, it's out of the question.
It's 100% happening.
I don't know how, but we'll figure it out.
I'm not leading here until I have it, right?
And when you come at things with that level of conviction, I don't know how, but we'll figure it out. I'm not leading here until I have it. Right?
And when you come at things with that level of conviction,
it is really hard for other people to not want to help you
and help you solve that problem.
Okay, so every week I'm on Clubhouse Wednesday at 8 p.m.
EST for one hour answering questions
and talking about how to go to the next level,
how to launch a personal brand, how to sell big deals, whatever the topics are.
And last week, I was in the clubhouse and someone raised their hand and asked a question
around how, and I'm going to botch it a little bit.
So bear with me, but something like, hey, if you're in sales and you're having a hard
time with the inconsistency, right?
Because in sales, a lot of times, you'll have a huge month
and then the next month, you have a terrible month.
And then the next month, it's something amazing happens.
And then the next month, you can't close any big deals.
They're really, it's like an EKG machine.
And this woman was in sales and she was saying,
how do you get through those low times
and keep your head up and stay motivated?
She was having a really hard time.
She was going through a lull in her business.
And she said, so how do you do that?
And I said, and this story,
you're reminded me of the Easter story.
I said, oh my gosh, I have to tell you a story.
Remember, story, cell, facts, tell.
So when any time you can leverage a story
to allow people to understand
something, a point you're trying to make, it's much more powerful and impactful. So I shared this
story that I had forgotten about actually. This is probably, gosh, a decade ago, right? It's a really
long time ago. I was either the VP of sales or the chief revenue officer of this media company. I
was running. I forget what my title was at the time. But I was in charge of revenue and we had lost a ton of
business. It was just a really bad window for the radio business. The industry was down. Everyone
was cutting back and I have, you know, obviously I had monthly goals, quarterly goals, and annual
goals. And I kind of looked around the whole company and thought, okay, hang on, I need to close
this gap and do it fast.
Or, no, I'm not going to get my bonus, right?
So I looked at all the opportunities, I looked at all the markets, and I thought, yes, I could
take the approach that, you know, each market needs to increase their business by 10%, or
and it's finally just to forget it.
No, I'm just going to go to the largest advertiser that we have,
and I'm going to go cut a deal to make up for my shortfall.
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It was an insurance company, very well known insurance company,
very famous insurance company, spends billions of dollars in media.
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granted, we're going to do a great job for him and deliver, but he didn't, he wasn't
inclined to do this just because I need to hit a number, but I just got super clear
on it and I said, so here's the thing. This is super important to me. You know, I explained
to him, it'll be a huge help to me. I'm super grateful for you and for our business relationship.
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What is the one thing that I could do for you in the world that would make this worthwhile for you?
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Who's going to be a pain?
He's going to have to go cancel somebody out.
You know, it's just a headache that he didn't have to deal with.
So he sits there for a minute and he said, the one thing that you could do
that would make this worthwhile for me, he said, is you could get me a reservation
at Raios. Now, I had no idea what Raios was at this point in time.
But back when this was happening, it was a very hot restaurant in New York City
and it was impossible to get into.
People actually owned or bought tables, right? a very hot restaurant in New York City and it was impossible to get into people actually
owned or bought tables, right? You have your own table. I had no idea. So this man just says
me, all you need to do is get me a dinner reservation. Basically, that's what I hear. So I say
done. 100% considerate done. He said, Heather, I need to explain something to you. This is not a
layup. He said, it's the hardest restaurant in the country
to get into it.
And I thought, oh, please, I'll find a way.
I'm not even concerned.
Like if this is what's standing in between me
achieving my goal and budget for the year, right?
And my bonus financially, just, you know,
personally, I like to always achieve my goals.
I thought, no problem, I'll get in there.
And he starts laughing.
He was laughing at me.
Basically, he was giving me a challenge
and he thought I had zero chance of achieving.
Guess he didn't know me that well.
All right, so I hopped back on a plane
and literally on my way to the airport,
I call my boss who, back then,
was the president of the company.
And a good friend of mine, I said,
listen, I am going to change our year.
I'm going to bring us to budget.
However, we need to find out how to get a reservation at Rails.
And he had an American Express Black Card.
And so I said, call Black Concierge right now
and ask them if they can do it for us.
He calls me back, no.
I say, okay, call the bankers that invest in our company. They're
all ballers. They're in New York City. They've got to know someone. So he calls. No. So I say, okay,
who do I know in New York City? So I start calling everyone and anyone I know in New York City. No,
no, and no. So I'm brainstorming with myself, okay, you know, what am I missing? How could I go,
I'm going to call the restaurant? I call the restaurant. No, no, no.
So I start thinking to myself, okay,
this is much more challenging than I anticipated.
I hope I didn't get myself into a tough spot here,
but I'm not, I'm getting it.
Like I don't care if this takes me a year,
I'm getting this rez.
And the conviction that I move forward on this initiative,
and it wasn't easy by any stretch of the imagination.
It was ridiculous.
It was overwhelming.
It consumed my life.
But on every phone call and every meeting I went on,
it was the number one thing I talked about to everyone.
I want to make sure everybody, everywhere,
knew that this was my number one singular goal
that I was working on, and that I would achieve it,
and I would appreciate their help.
And wouldn't you know one night my girlfriend hear my Amy called me and said, hey come over to Casatua and meet me for drinks tonight. I go over to Casatua which is a great restaurant here
in Miami and we're hanging out and we were up at the bar. This is pre-pandemic clearly.
And we're talking and just chatting with a bunch of people.
And there was this huge group of people to our right.
And I hear an accent, I hear a New York accent.
And I said, guys, hang on a second.
I walk over to this huge group of guys.
I don't know them from Adam.
And I said, hey, hi, my name's Heather.
It sounds like you guys are from New York.
And they say, yeah, we are from New York. I said, listen, this is so bizarre what I'm about to have her. It sounds like you guys are from New York. And they say, yeah, you know, we are from New York.
I said, listen, this is so bizarre what I'm about to ask you.
But is there any chance that any one of you
have any in to get me a res at Reo's in New York?
And this one guy turns around and says, yeah,
my brother owns a table.
I said, are you freaking kidding me?
He said, no, I said, can you call him right now?
He said, okay, he calls his brother right there.
I don't know this man.
And puts me on the phone with the brother.
The brother was so nice.
I said, I will do anything.
I don't, I'll pay you.
I mean, because this was worth a lot of money to me
to hit my bonus.
I said, whatever you want.
He said, no, he said, I'm happy to do it.
He said, we have the table every day.
He said, you know, we go all the time.
Happy to do it.
Sure.
So he gave me the date.
I had his number.
I called my client the next day.
I said, just so you know, you're going to Rios and we all ended up going to Rios.
So the moral of the story is achieving goals can be challenging and there can be plenty
of roadblocks
and issues that come in your way.
And plenty of people that tell you things can't be done.
But when you get the level of conviction inside of you that you are relentless the way
that I knew I was not leaving that trash room until I had my wallet, I was not going to take a no on the rails,
I was going to find a way, the way will appear, right?
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I just, I hope that was, I left that woman. Actually, no, I know I left her with that feeling because
she, again, back to Clubhouse. She'd asked me that question on Clubhouse, and she came back to me
on a DM on LinkedIn after. And said, I just want to say, thank you so much she'd asked me that question on clubhouse and she came back to me on a DM on
LinkedIn after and said, I just want to say, thank you so much. You reminded me that I have to be
that committed, right? You can't just be interested in doing well in sales. You have to be committed
all in. You have to post your numbers for other people to see. You have to write down what you're
going to achieve. You have to come up with what your why is is why are you going after this right and you have to hold yourself accountable
And in a funny way it can be really exciting that whole day
That Easter Sunday day. I was so excited that I got it done right I didn't give up and I didn't quit
And I want that for you. I don't want you to give up
I don't want you to quit when you get clear on what your goal is let nothing get in your way and nothing. Well, all right, hold tight. We'll be right back.
Okay, so when something shows up in my life twice in one week, it, I don't know, I feel like,
okay, this means something. So I'm going to share the story with you and try not to get into too much detail about it, but the message
is, it's powerful and it's interesting. So I saw two extremely similar situations. One
was in my personal life, I had dinner this week with a bunch of girlfriends and one of my
dear friends was dealing with a major challenge at work where she was getting
completely hosed on a payout and in a situation at work. She was completely being taken advantage
of. And then, fast forward to, I have a group coaching program that I run every Friday,
and I was excited for my group this week
because one of the young women who's amazing,
love her, she's just such a great young lady.
And she's come so far in the last month
and I'm so proud of her.
She was going in to advocate for herself
and ask for a title change because she had come
to understand that she should have been given it on day one.
She didn't know that was the case and now as she had learned more, she was realizing everybody
else had that title, but she didn't get it and she was the only woman. Okay, so two situations
that were very similar were people who were somewhat being taken advantage of or not realizing
their value that they should be or being treated the way they should be at work. So with both of those, you know, here's the thing, and I gave the same very similar direction
actually, and then I roleplayed, right? Because when you roleplay things, you just feel more
confident to go in and do it. With my good friend, you know, I said, listen, here's a thing,
you are owed this money, right? And she said, yeah, I mean, I am. I said, then why wouldn't you go
in and advocate for yourself? And her concern was that, you know, she still had to work side by side with these
people and she didn't want to make it a fight, right? Here's the thing. It doesn't have to be a
fight standing up for yourself, right? Setting boundaries, you know, raising your hand and saying,
oh, this has got to be an oversight. Something's not right here. And I actually dealt with this with
the company that I'm on the board of directors. I noticed that I hadn't received my stock
yet. So I just sent a note, hey, I'm sure this is an oversight, but somehow I have not received
my stock options yet. So can we please have someone facilitate this for me? You know, it didn't
have to be a big fight. And so I was suggesting the same kind of a thing to my friend. I said,
listen, go in there and say, I'm sure this is an oversight on your behalf,
but as you know, it wouldn't be me to not raise my hand
and advocate for myself the same way I advocate for you
when I'm out doing deals for this company every day.
Let's get this situation straightened out
so that we can focus again on business
and keep it moving.
You know, you want me to be fighting for you the same way
that I fight for myself because that's why you hired me.
Is I am such an advocate at, you know,
I'm making sure that we do the best deals that we can.
And let's rectify this one so that we can move ahead.
You know, I was on my group coaching call
and I'm a big fan of saying I'm confused.
That's one of the things I lead with all the time
if I'm in a difficult situation. Because basically you're
saying you're calling someone out in a nice way. I'm confused. You know, why
haven't I been paid on this yet? Right? So, you know, can you explain this to me?
Well, one of the women in my group coaching had another way to handle it and I
really liked it. So I wanted to share it with you. Her way was help me understand.
And I really liked how she framed that up.
Help me understand what the challenges or where
their breakdown is or help me understand
what the miscommunication is here.
I understood it this way.
And so we role played a few different ways
for this woman to go back in to get that title change.
I will keep you updated.
I'm sure she's going to get it, but I just can't wait.
And, you know, I talk about this a lot.
In any moment, you're either creating confidence
within yourself or chipping away at it.
With both of these women,
if they don't go back in and have that conversation,
they are gonna be chipping away at their confidence.
It's not as much about the end result,
as it is about them raising their hand and
having the conversation. And that will give them momentum. That will help them feel more confident.
And that will remind themselves that they are worth it. And even if the outcome isn't exactly what
they had planned for or hoped for, they're going to be that much closer to ensuring that they are
treated better moving forward and that they will achieve their goals and will find
the people and opportunities that they deserve to be around.
So that was my question of the week.
Because it was so similar in both of these instances and both women had trepidation about
going back in, it just I thought it was important to share.
So I hope that helps.
If you like the show, please leave a review rating share on social whenever you
share it on social. I always repost you and until next week I will be right here creating confidence
hoping you are doing the same. At a time when change is constant and we are pulled in far too many directions, we need
a way to stay present to life and to increase our ability
to remain calm, think clearly, and maintain our well-being. Many studies indicate mindfulness
improves our mental, emotional, and physical health. On a mindful moment with Theresa McKee,
you can learn how to practice mindfulness and enjoy its many benefits. Tune in for guided meditations and to hear tips and advice from some of the most respected
experts in the fields of mental health and mindfulness.
The world truly can be a better place.
It all starts with a mindful moment.