Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - What To Do When You’re Being Blocked with Heather! Episode 140
Episode Date: August 18, 2021There is nothing I hate more than being given the runaround. I remember pitching myself for YEARS to be on the board at my old job. And while I wasn’t ever given a straight answer, I found out later... that I was being BLOCKED. I was never going to be welcomed on that board. Sometimes you have all the qualifications and skills but you are just in the wrong room. When that happens, that’s when you know to get out! Leap frog those villains standing in your way and find people that appreciate you instead. Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! To pre-order Overcome Your Villains NOW and get the bonus bundle click here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi and welcome back.
I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so of course
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I went all in on this one to make sure pre-ordering the book made sense for you and added value for you. So I would love to hear your thoughts on the VIP launch team. Okay. So here's what's going on. And I know that I've talked about this once before, but I had to talk about it again. So every quarter I have a board meeting in Naples and it's very structured in that
the first evening we have a dinner all of us together to catch up. And the next day
we spend the day in meetings for the actual board meeting making decisions for the company
for health linked. So I've been on the board since I want to say maybe September of last
year, right?
So getting close to a year.
And having so much more fun, the more time I spend
with the team and these guys are great guys.
And it's just, it's been such an amazing experience.
Now, I don't know if you know this or not,
but the company that I had been with
when I was in the media industry,
I had been with them for 14 years,
I was constantly pitching myself for a board seat.
And there's good reason for that.
The board was comprised of all of the original CEOs, college roommates, best friends.
You know, just, it was a very much male-dominated board that was extremely older.
We'll call them advanced experience.
However, you want to say it, you know, of white men that were older. And I knew based upon my expertise in running the company and running revenue generation
and interfacing with so many different organizations in our industry that I could add value.
So I would pitch myself all of the time.
And I was constantly told, great idea.
We'll definitely think of adding you, you know, the timings just not right.
We don't have any open board seats.
I mean, I heard so many different excuses, basically,
to hold me off at arm's length,
but try to keep me engaged in my job.
But basically, it would never tell me, no,
we're not gonna do it, instead just blow me off.
You know, when you get a run around like this
from someone or from multiple people for a while, it really starts to feel bad. I even started questioning, wow, you know,
do they, they think I'm talented enough to run revenue for hundreds of millions of dollars a year
for the company, but I'm not talented enough to be on the board and advise where the company should
go. I'm the one monetizing it. That's crazy, Right? It just didn't make sense to me. And so, for years I pitched, for years I was never told no, but I was always put off. And I never
got it. Right? They never gave it to me. Of course, now I end up finding out this woman that
ultimately became CEO, fired me and she never wanted me there to begin with. So I was being blocked.
I did not realize during all of these years that I pitched myself and never got a straight
answer that I was being blocked by someone.
And the reason I want to bring this up to you today is you may be going after something.
You might be presenting yourself for something and not really getting a straight answer,
getting a run around and thinking, oh, maybe I'm not qualified enough.
Maybe I don't have the right expertise.
It also might be you do have the right expertise. It also might be you do have the right expertise. You are qualified
enough just like I was, but you were in the wrong room, right? I was pitching myself for the wrong
boardroom position because the board I was pitching myself for, I was being blocked from, I was never
going to get that opportunity. No matter how many awards I won, no matter how many great ideas I had
or plans I executed successfully,
I was never going to get that board seat.
Cut to, I ended up getting fired,
I started my own company,
I wrote and self-published Confidence Creator,
I launched my speaking career,
and then the pandemic hit,
and I had to find a way to work through my computer
because everything disappeared overnight,
like so many of us.
And so I launched a mentorship program
which it was so bizarre, it was exhausting
because you sit in front of a computer all day long,
coaching people and consulting people.
However, I ended up meeting my friend George
who joined my program at some point back in 2020.
Probably at some point in the beginning of the summer, 2020, he joined my program. We worked together for a few months. And at the end back in 2020, probably some point in the beginning of the summer, 2020,
he joined my program.
We worked together for a few months,
and at the end of the program, he said,
hey Heather, I'd really like to nominate you
for a board that I'm a part of.
And I thought, yeah, great.
Well, I have been pitching myself for a board seat forever.
I don't know why I didn't get it,
but my expertise is around revenue generation,
leadership, operations, and sales
and marketing.
You know, I'm sure I could add value if that's something that you have a need for.
He said, absolutely, it is anyhow, months past, and I didn't get it.
And then one day, I just got the call and I met with him in the CEO and they came to my
amy to meet with me.
And it clicked.
We got along great.
And I was the first female addition to the Board of Directors for HealthLink,
which I'm super proud of.
So we've been working together for almost a year now
and it's been going fantastic.
So each quarter, I go over to Naples,
which is where I used to live
and where the company I worked for for 14 years
is headquartered.
So it's always a little weird.
And each time I go back, it's less weird, right?
Because I used to only go there for the radio company
I worked for.
Now I only go there for health link.
So it's just, it's kind of bizarre.
So anyhow, it happened to be my birthday a couple of days ago.
And when I was heading over for our board dinner,
the one road that you can take to get there for Miami
was shut down.
I was running late and I called the CFO to let him know,
hey, I'm gonna be running a few minutes late.
There's major problems on the highway.
He said, no problem.
Wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday had there.
And I said, oh my gosh, it's not yet today,
but thank you so much, so thoughtful for you.
That means the world to me, you know,
because I love birthdays and I just,
I get so excited about special occasions like that.
So I get to the hotel which they set up and they take care of for me and they've put me at the
ritz and I get into my room and all of a sudden I'm sent up a bottle of champagne and strawberries
and just this beautiful presentation just to say happy birthday to me. And it was one of those
moments when you just realized, holy cow, I should have left that company that I worked for for 14 years, a decade ago.
Here I am now working with people who haven't even known me for a full year, and they go so out
of their way for me. They're always so encouraging, they're so thoughtful and nice to me.
And they make me feel like such an important part of the team and I never pursued them, they pursued me.
Remember, when I was at a company,
I had done incredibly well for for 14 years.
I pitched myself, pitched myself, pitched myself
and they would never do anything
but give me the run around.
And I was always being blocked
and I started doubting myself that maybe I didn't have
that right formula or expertise or experience.
It turns out I had a villain in my way.
I had to fire that villain that thought she fired me in order to open up opportunity to
start coming into my life.
So if you are pitching yourself for something, if you are getting the run around and you're
starting to doubt yourself, pick your head up and start to question, maybe you're in
the wrong room, maybe you're surrounded by a villain.
Maybe somebody's blocking you,
and maybe it's time for you to move to a different room.
I am so glad I did.
Okay, so we had a great dinner
with the attendees that were able to come,
a couple of them couldn't,
because of travel and COVID and whatnot.
And we had a great dinner,
and everything went well,
the next day at our actual board meeting,
I've been in a number of them now and so I start observing and reflecting.
And one of the things I wanted to point out is that everyone comes to a board meeting with a lot
of experience and expertise in very different areas, right? So I'm coming from sales marketing
and operation side from a traditional industry. The media industry is very traditional. Now I'm with more of a startup company,
which I really haven't done anything like that
since my early 20s, so that's not my expertise.
And it was funny because again,
there's one person as a scientist,
one person as a doctor, one person is a heavy hitter
in finance, everyone has different expertise,
one's great in innovation.
This company that I'm with now is very much focused on product product product.
Coming from the industry I was in a company I used to be, all anyone wanted to talk about
was revenue.
Right, so it's the complete opposite of what I'm used to.
So of course, I see things through the lens of my experience and I always want to take
things back to revenue, which I appreciate so much now that they want to invest in the company,
they want to invest in the product,
all they ever think about is how can we make this the best product,
how can we provide the best services ever
versus where I came from,
how can we make the most money from what we have?
So now it's finding a way to marry and balance those two things
such that we have the best product in the world.
We offer the best services in the world.
We're five star all the way around and we're monetizing it.
So we're going through all of these different exercises in the board meeting
and we're all able to give our opinion and we all get votes.
And it was just at one point it was so funny, the CEO who's a doctor,
stopped me and he said, hey, every time a new product comes up or a new launch that
work is doing comes up.
The first thing you say is what are projections for revenue,
what are deadlines, timelines, and goals.
He said, and that's not really fair, Heather,
because this is something new.
We just invented.
We don't have that history to fall back on.
We don't have a forecast that's
cemented yet
or created yet because we're building it as we go.
And that's so different versus where I was.
So oftentimes people will disqualify themselves
from opportunities like this because,
I couldn't easily say, well, I haven't been
a part of a technology company ever before.
Maybe I can't add value.
But what I'm noticing is I add tremendous value
because I see things a completely opposite way
that nobody else on the board sees it
because no one else is coming
from a really traditional rigid,
revenue focused background.
So it really allows for great dialogue
and conversation around how things could be in the future,
what are fair
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little early, so that we can set expectations for one another on what's important
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It was a great day and I really took that time to reflect on not only
what my expertise was, but how every single person sitting in that room sees things entirely different
and everyone's point is valid because they're seeing it through the lens of where they come from.
And that's the power of a board is having really diverse backgrounds where people can add value and not just agree
wholeheartedly on everything, but have some dynamic conversation and discussion and find
ways for all of us to grow.
So it's been an incredible experience thus far.
I really enjoyed it immensely.
And of course, the most important thing is I just, I really like the people I'm working
with.
They treat me great and everyone really values one another and we work great as a team.
So expect a big thing.
You're gonna hear some really big things from me in regards to health length this year.
I am so excited to share with you what's going on. Unfortunately, I cannot announce it yet.
However, we did have our quarterly press release that did go public and our
earnings are incredible. The company is performing off the charts and
I'm just so proud that I am a part of the right board and I'm so glad I did get blocked
from that other board because I was not the right fit for them. They were not the right
fit for me, but HealthLink definitely is. So if you're going around circling and circling
and not getting straight answers, it might be time to pick your head up and ask if you're in the right room. I wish I had done that a very long time ago.
Okay, so one of the things that I like to do on my birthday, I just mentioned, I just turned
47 years old and anytime I have a birthday, I want to reflect on the past year,
what I'm proud of, what went well,
potentially what could have gone differently,
and then forecast and look out, okay,
over that next year, what are the goals that I have,
what am I looking forward to and what things can I do better
differently or do more of that work great.
One of the things that I realize for me,
and I don't know if you feel this way,
is that I've noticed I am not a patient person.
And the older I get, the more I notice it, right?
So I stopped myself and started thinking back
to what I first got into the radio business
when I was 22 years old, right?
And I left the radio business when I was 43,
so over 20 years in one industry.
Obviously, after 20 years in an industry,
you're going to be an expert, you're going to be incredibly well-known,
you're going to have tremendous contacts.
Well, when I got fired, I started over as a first-time author
and then knew to the speaking business
and then knew to the podcasting world.
I was a rookie in everything, right?
But I was so used to being the expert
because I had been in media for so long that I never
stopped to say to myself, wait a minute, you need to compare yourself to your 22-year-old
version of yourself getting into radio.
So I don't know if you fall in that same category as someone who puts tremendous pressure
on yourself, has no patience, and really doesn't give yourself that runway that you may need
to find success. So I know that
for me the past few years since I got fired, I just have this tremendous, I have very high
expectations for myself because I've achieved massive success in another industry. However,
I found I need to be, you know, good things take time, great things take even longer. And I'm
starting to really see that first hand, I
want to explain to you how that is. So when I first got fired, the first thing I did
was I wrote and self-published my first book, Confidence Creator. I had no idea what I was
doing. None. Zero. Right. Now fast forward a couple of years, I've done it once. So I
have some experience to lean on as well as this time, I'm doing it with HarperCollins
leadership. So I have a team of people who are experts, which is incredibly different, right? So it's a very, in just a short window
of time, a couple of years, I'm in a very different situation. And it's helping me to gain insight
into experience, takes time, and experience really helps you access more success and do
it more seamlessly, right? So for me, I look back on that first book and I didn't even know to pre-promote
or do pre-orders. I really didn't have that base of knowledge. And now here we are, it was three
months to the day that the launch will be. It was August 9th. The book comes out November 9th
and the book hit number one new release on Amazon on that day. And I was so excited and so proud.
And it took me back to my first book
and thinking, wow, I didn't even promote my book
three months out because I probably didn't even have it
done yet or I didn't know it'd do it.
Or it's just, it's so interesting what you can learn
in just a couple of years or just going through one cycle
of creating something and publishing it
or building something.
Just even one time, it teaches you so much that you're better positioned for more success
that next time.
So, you know, whatever situation you're in, that you're doubting, that you're not moving
fast enough, that maybe you're just not being patient enough with yourself, give yourself
some grace because I'll tell you I really am trying to find
that for myself right now. And as things move forward with my new book Overcome Your Villains
and HarperCollins Leadership, I'm learning so much more, which will not only set me up for more
success this time, but for the next time moving forward. And I'm trying to liken it back to my
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So I've just had this really interesting week to reflect because of my birthday, because
of going to Naples again and being with the board and reflecting on how I wasn't on the
board and I had pitched myself for so long and I couldn't get on the board for that company
and now, again, looking back, you can see how the dots connect looking back, but I can tell
you for sure those days when I used to sit back in that media company pitching myself and
getting the run around, I had no idea what was going on other than to look
at myself and think something might be wrong with me.
And if you're in that situation, I challenge you to question that because I needed to question
it for myself because I was enough, I was the right fit, that company, that board, they
were not the right fit for me.
And I was being blocked.
And just in case you are, pick your head up,
start talking to people outside of your company,
your opportunity, your industry wherever you are,
and realize it might not be you, it really might be them.
And that's why we all need to work on overcoming our villains,
whether that villain is inside your own head,
or sitting across from you at the table at work or even at home.
So definitely check out Overcome Your Villains.
When you go to www.OvercomeYourVillains.com, you can get my $500 bonus bundle for free.
When you pre-order my book, which is only 1999 right now, it's on sale everywhere.
So crazy.
And have some grace with yourself.
Have some patience with yourself.
And remember, none of these things happened overnight.
They happened through hard work, failure, mistakes,
and starting to have that hindsight
that you can look back on and begin understanding.
Wow, it's got to be a little bit more patient with myself.
Yes, it's great to have big expectations
and set massive goals and be really specific and take massive action every day.
I'm all about it, but I also want to be able to not beat myself up when it doesn't happen overnight and recognize that it does take time.
It took time from me last time. It's taken time now, but I'm learning more every day. And that is the key. So keep stepping into your fear, keep stepping into
the unknown and trust that you will figure it out along the way and you will achieve
your goals. Just stay focused on what those goals are, not on what the obstacles are. So
trying yet again to not be an obstacle for myself, trying to be a cheerleader and a champion
that has patience, that has grace,
and stays focused on the end goal.
Until next time, if you could please rate and review
the show's subscribe, share it with your friends
when you tag me on social media.
I always repost, share, and tag you back.
It means the world to me.
And if you haven't joined yet, check out www.overcomeyourbillains.com.
I'd love to have you on my VIP launch team.
We had an amazing Zoom this week.
Can't wait to see you for the next one.
Until next time, I'll be creating my confidence.
I hope you will be too.
I decided to change that diamond.
I could have been more excited for what you're getting here.
Start learning and growing.
And inevitably something will happen.
No one seems alone.
You don't stop and look around once in a while.
You can miss it.
I'm on this journey with me.
Hope you're enjoying this episode so far.
I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network,
the number one business and self-improvement podcast network.
So, most people live the life they get and not the life they want.
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