Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - When Challenges Are A GIFT in Disguise With Heather! Episode 186

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Processing failures  Reacting strategically Using empathy to your advantage Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overc...omeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  You will make mistakes. It’s a fact of life! But you don’t have to react with emotions and ego. You can take the time to process those feelings and return to the situation with EMPATHY rather than anger. Emotions have no place in business. But understanding does! Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Consult a trusted advisor. Own your failures and take responsibility. People will respect you when you do. I know I have struggled with challenges. But they don’t have to take you down! Embrace them as a gift to learn and move forward.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, it's me, Food! If I know one thing, it's freshness. Go to Randalls. You'll see, from the hand-cut fresh meats to the fresh produce. There's a reason I call Randalls home. They know fresh. Sincerely food. Sincerely Randalls. When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road. Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay. That's where USAA steps in. When there's an accident on the road Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay
Starting point is 00:00:25 That's where USAA steps in We help make the claims process easy So drivers can get back on the road fast Making the right calls, that's what we're made for Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates San Antonio, Texas. I'm on this journey with me.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. The work come at diversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. After you're asleep, I'm ready for my close time. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. Thank you. I really appreciate you. You know, the way that podcasting works is we're basically judged on downloads, right? Subscribers and downloads. So anytime you
Starting point is 00:01:13 guys subscribe, rate and review, share it with your friends, post about the show. It helps so, so much to help me get more downloads, to get better ranking, to get heard by more, because if you're ride or die with me, you're like, oh, Heather, what are you talking about? Everybody knows you, but the reality is like, no one knows me. I swear, it is that way, because I'm not anywhere near where I'd like to be. Right, of course, I want to be at the highest level. I want to be crushing it. Millions of downloads, like Caitlin Bristow or some of these huge shows that are out there and Obviously success does not happen overnight. It's a long term game. It's not a quick one and done And I knew that going into podcasting, but you know, I have really high expectations of myself
Starting point is 00:02:00 Let's just put it that way. So anything you can do to help always super appreciated, super appreciate you being here. And if you could share the show, it'll mean the world to me. And this week, I'm gonna do a book giveaway. Anyone that shares the show, you, you, you, when you post about the show and tag me, you are immediately entered to win an autograph copy of overcome your villains, my new book.
Starting point is 00:02:24 And I can't wait to pull a winner this week and get that book out to you. So please share the show. Thank you for doing that. So I'm going to share two different business stories with you first and then I'm going to share kind of a bigger picture overview of challenges in my life. And I'm doing it for me selfishly because it's a reminder that when hard times come you know there's something really great on the other side but it's always tough to see what that great thing is before you breakthrough so I'm gonna share that with you. Okay let's start here so I do some
Starting point is 00:02:57 executive coaching not a lot but I have a select few clients I work with I try to keep it only to under five clients a quarter that I work with, I try to keep it only to under five clients a quarter that I work with. And two different things happened with some clients in the last month that I wanted to share that I thought was interesting. One, and I've talked to you about this for, there is no place for emotion in business.
Starting point is 00:03:18 None, that's taking us back to the woman that fired me. It was completely emotional, Her stock got crushed. And it's hard when you make a decision based on emotion and business, you will live to regret it. So when someone gives really constructive feedback and it's harsh, sometimes people have a hard time swallowing that pill, right? I've talked about that on the show before.
Starting point is 00:03:41 You know, I've had people, somewhat attack me, but say, hey, I'm not attacking you. I'm just giving you feedback, but maybe not position it in the best light. And it's a little painful to swallow that. Well, one of my clients had been running around at the holiday time, nine million things going on, end of year going on, and a big meeting was coming up,
Starting point is 00:04:02 and she delegated a lot to her team and whatnot and come today of she realized she hadn't gone through the paces and checked some balances that she normally would, which happens to all of us sometimes, right? You know, no harm, no foul. And she goes into the meeting and this was a really high profile potential client, not yet a client. And she sits down to make the pitch, which she's done a million times, and she's incredibly successful and brilliant. And she starts leading the meeting. And the client, or potential client stops her and says, well, what about this? You haven't
Starting point is 00:04:35 mentioned this when she did the overview of what they were going to cover. And she didn't have what he was asking for. So right there, she realized, wait a minute, we didn't qualify correctly on the front end, right? So going into anything, for realized, wait a minute, we didn't qualify correctly on the front end, right? So going into anything, for example, I'm giving a keynote tomorrow for an MLM company, I qualify ahead of time, nine million times, just want to make sure that we're on the same page. What is the end result and goal that you have in mind for my keynote? And I had her articulated again, Heather, I want my team motivated, inspired, and I also want them to have tactical tips around social media promotion
Starting point is 00:05:08 and tactical tips around sales and sales drivers. So I've written that down 800 times. So I'm crystal clear so I can deliver. My client realized that in all of the hurry and hustle that she had going on, no one had actually had that conversation. So I'm asking you right now for any clients that you have, any business that you're working on,
Starting point is 00:05:28 make sure to qualify it first, get clear on expectations on the front end. That's the most important thing to do in your pre-work. Then put it back in writing so that everybody's on the same page. Anyway, she made a mistake, happens to all of us, and she's in the meeting and realizing, holy cow, we blew this,
Starting point is 00:05:44 this is a huge opportunity, we've lost it. But she, you know, she made her way through the meeting, and I'm sure she did a great job. But they weren't able to answer the one thing that the client really had wanted the one outcome he had really wanted because they didn't come prepared. Now, that didn't mean they couldn't circle back with him after. Of course, and they would. And that was basically what they said, because that's all they could say. They weren't at their office. They were an off-site remote location. They said, we'll circle back with all of that after. We'd like to move on to the things
Starting point is 00:06:12 that we can address and cover today. And we will get back with you. So it's a bust. And after she leaves, right, she had traveled to see the client. She traveled, brought her team to see the client, read all these things. And now she needed the follow-up was really going to be instrumental, and she was very frustrated with herself, that she had let this happen. So she gets an email from the potential client
Starting point is 00:06:35 that night, and it was super harsh. Basically saying, listen, you somewhat wasted my time, and I don't know how you didn't understand this is what I wanted and or needed. It's really unfortunate and frankly, I'm really shocked that as the expert I perceive you as, that you would make a fumble like this, it was something really rough. I'm probably not even doing it justice. And so my client was emotional.
Starting point is 00:07:00 She felt angry, offended, totally happens. First of all, when that happens, never respond in the moment ever Am I client didn't either she actually sent me a 911 text and said hey, I need to get an emergency Session on the book in the next 24 hours something critical came up where can you fit me in and we made it happen and she explained to me Everything that was going on that was smart smart. When you feel really emotional, pause. Number one, I wait 24 hours to respond to anything when I'm emotional, and that always pays off. Don't respond.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Even in my personal life, I do this too. I did this, I was upset with my son last night, and I decided I was just going to sleep on it, even though I was really upset at the time. And I felt differently this morning, having some time to process it and be rested. So pause, first and foremost. Secondly, if you have a trusted advisor that you can reach out to,
Starting point is 00:07:49 someone who's an expert in arena that you're having some struggles and tap that person for help, but don't just tap some random person because they're not going to be able to help you, and they're probably going to give you bad advice. Okay, so we get on the phone, she takes me through everything. I'm listening to it. Now, I have no emotion around this, right? Because I'm a bystander.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I didn't not qualify it. I wasn't in the meeting. I didn't get the email from the potential client. And I'm not suffering the potential loss, right? My client is. So that was really interesting, too, because I had no zero emotional charge around the email. And she read it to me.
Starting point is 00:08:22 It wasn't sent to me. It was sent to her, of course. So I processed it from an objective standpoint only looking at, okay fair point, he's right, you know, we didn't qualify ahead of time. He's right in some ways we did waste his time. I sought through a lot of the lens of, oh, you know, he's being really harsh, but he is right, factually speaking. She did not process it that way. But when I shared with her the lens at which I saw it through, she did understand, right? And she calmed down a little bit, but she kept circling back to you. Yeah, but did he have to speak to me like that in the email?
Starting point is 00:08:53 And she was still emotionally charged and upset. So I said, listen, here's the bottom line. Do you want to close this piece of business or not? That's step one. You've got to determine that. Because right now, the way you're acting, it sounds like you don't. And that's okay. I remember learning early on in my career, if you don't want to work with somebody, just don't put the effort in. If there's not a match, or if they disrespect you or treat you poorly, whatever it is, you
Starting point is 00:09:18 don't have to take every piece of business. You don't have to let people treat you a certain way. You can respect and create your own boundaries and you decide, right? Can fire clients, you don't have to entertain clients. If you don't like the exchange with them, that is fine. So that was my first question to her. She said, no, I want this business to flip in you, which will be my biggest client. Is it okay? So we're clear.
Starting point is 00:09:39 The goal here is to close this business, correct? And she says, yes. Then you need to step away from emotion. Now, put yourself in his shoes. He was upset. He lost time. He lost time from his family. He had traveled, right?
Starting point is 00:09:50 So we started trying to empathize with his situation. I said, now, here's what I would do. I would follow on the sword. I would respond and say, I hear everything you're saying, and you are right. It is really embarrassing that I did not qualify this, and it's like a rookie mistake, however, I have 25 plus years of expertise in this industry, which is unacceptable.
Starting point is 00:10:13 And I so appreciate you taking the time to give me the feedback, to send me this email, because here's the thing, when he sent the email to her, yes, he might have been pissed, yes, he might have wanted to get it off his chest, but he's also engaging with her. To me, that's a buying sign, right? When I look at it objectively, he's wanting to do business with her. What?
Starting point is 00:10:33 He didn't have to send her an email complaining about that. He could have just gone on with his merry little life and never spoken to her again. So I opened her eyes to the idea, this is a buying sign. He wants to work with you, but he has to get this upset off his chest. So, national security experts are warning, our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time a power station in North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities. They've identified nine key substations. If these substations are attacked,
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Starting point is 00:14:26 and whatnot, she kept blaming her team for things on social media, that is not a leader. Right, it doesn't matter if your team blew something up. You are in charge. So we talked about that. Own everything, don't blame anyone, own everything yourself. Be grateful for the feedback
Starting point is 00:14:42 because that means it's a buying sign and he's engaging with you, right? And we're grateful for that. And thank him. He didn't have to offer the feedback. It's also going to disarm someone. So when someone's angry and upset, they're going to lash out more and more. When we agree with them, apologize for the mistakes that we've made because they are honest mistakes. You know, we didn't intend to do that. That's a fine situation to apologize because we didn't want to waste his time. Certainly we want to earn his business and then thank him for taking the time to give us a feedback.
Starting point is 00:15:12 So she decided to move forward with that strategy. And then I said one last thing. I would also suggest adding on as a close. You always want to have a call to action, you know, at any type of follow up. And so I said, in the call to action here, I would want to include, when is a good day for me to fly to you, not for you to go anywhere, not for you to waste any time, but for me to fly to you. So, I can apologize to you face to face, and I can present the missing material that you were so looking for in that. You know, that's just going in the extra mile, showing that I am a true partner, I'm someone that shows up and you matter, I see you.
Starting point is 00:15:47 And then I said, because I'm over the top, I said find out what this guy drinks or find out like what's special is guy, get it immediately and overnight it. So he has it tomorrow with a card saying thank you for, you know, talking with me about this. Just little things like that really make a big difference, because a lot of people don't do them. So she did move
Starting point is 00:16:05 forward with the plan and he ended up when he when she fell on the sword, you know, and she owned it, she apologized and then she closed with that call to action. Then she sent the, I think it was a bottle of whiskey or something. I don't know. And he got it. He called her and said, oh my gosh, your response was so kind, so empathetic, and I feel like a jerk. I was a little too harsh on you. So do you see how that mental Judith who works, right? When you really are just so kind and understanding and accepting and owning what went wrong, that
Starting point is 00:16:39 other person says, oof, I guess I shouldn't have been so harsh on you in that email. And now he's apologizing to her. Of course he gave her the other meeting. Of course he was willing to do it at a time that worked for her. And of course in the end she gets a deal. So that's just an interesting business example that is really around qualifying expectations on the front end, making sure we do our pre-work, right? Have a checklist so that you don't forget things like that.
Starting point is 00:17:03 And then when things do go wrong and they will, right, they go wrong for me all the time. I'm always making mistakes and learning, you know, own it. Don't dodge it. Oh my gosh, the lady that I used to work with that ended up firing me. She would never own mistakes. Never. Capital and never. And it was such a flawed character, it was a character flaw in her as a leader that held her back from being a true leader and everybody saw it. She, you know, she'd never want to say, this is acceptable responsibility. The reason why the company is not doing well, no, it was always, this division isn't doing this right. This one is not doing. And people don't respect leaders like that. If you want to lead, you've got to be willing to fall in the sword.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Okay, so that was once right. The other story was last week, I got a 911 from someone that I had worked with last year, but I currently wasn't under contract with, and it was so funny. He said, I need to contract you immediately, and I need a bunch of time in the next few days from you, which was crazy. So anyways, we start working together again. He had a product launch coming out. Super innovative, really exciting. I was super excited for him. And so he said, okay, what's the goal today?
Starting point is 00:18:14 What are we working on? He said, I wanna work on our rollout for the product launch and team meeting. And he's telling me all the reasons why he's excited, right? And I'm not gonna get into them. But it's everything that would matter to an owner. And I'm listening and I'm listening and I'm letting him empty his glass. And then when he's done, I said, okay, that's great.
Starting point is 00:18:32 However, why are your employees going to care? Right. And so again, we have to put ourselves in the shoes of the other person. And so he and I did that together. We came up with an outline. And really, the outline was around why are we even doing this? Like let's answer this question number one. You know, why us? Why are we the right team to do it?
Starting point is 00:18:51 And then why does this matter to you? Right, are you gonna make more money? Are you gonna have more clients? Are you going to have reasons to reach out to people to renew contracts? Are you going to have more cash in the industry? Is it going to elevate yourself and your brand? What are all the reasons that this is going to benefit you, the other person?
Starting point is 00:19:10 And then what is the elevator pitch? Because if you can't simplify something, you don't understand it yourself. So you need to make something that's new, so simple and easy to understand. A nine-year-old can understand it and a 90-year-old can understand it, and a 90-year-old can understand it at the same time. And then what is the closing and next steps plan to move forward? So we went through it, went through it, went through it, answered the questions, came up with the analogies, and came up with the stories he would include really making it, you know, about a mission and very purpose-driven so that they would take ownership of this and run with it. I actually, he had his presentation today. I haven't spoken to him yet, but I'm certain
Starting point is 00:19:45 it's gonna go great because the new product's amazing and he totally got, you know, putting them as a star of the show, not him, which a lot of owners don't get, right? But it's cool to see the CEOs out there that are willing to invest in themselves, ask for help and say, I wanna do better, I wanna grow. And he's definitely that guy.
Starting point is 00:20:05 So he's certainly going to find success with this new initiative. Okay, so those are the two stories I wanted to share with you around clients that just kind of caught my attention that I was thinking about might be able to add value to. Now, this is bigger picture, but I want to take it back to business and epic fails hard times and how each one of them ended up being a gift. But gosh, in the moment, I did not know it. And I'm sharing this with you today because I don't know where you are in your journey. I don't know if you're frustrated and hate your job.
Starting point is 00:20:40 I don't know if you're a new entrepreneur and struggling to make it. I don't know if you're on top of the world, right? But I do know this wherever you are today is not permanent. It is temporary. It will change. It can improve. It can get harder, you know, and then it can cycle again. So what's key is the perspective that we have when we're in it, you know, choosing to see life as an adventure, not a chore, right? Like, oh, this could be exciting this week ahead. Who knows what's about to happen versus, oh gosh, I know what's about to happen. And it's gonna be awful, right?
Starting point is 00:21:12 Like, making that choice, choosing that perspective, and that different way to see things. And this is what I'm working on for myself too. Of course, because people preach and teach about what they need to hear. And that's why I wrote the book, Confidence Creator, and Overcome Your Villains, because I constantly need to be working on
Starting point is 00:21:28 recreating my confidence and not allowing villains in my life. Okay, so here's the thing. When I first got out of school, I went to work for the Gala Winery. And I had the most amazing boss, Matt. I loved him, loved him, still loved him to this day. We still are in contact this day. He was just such a great mentor and such a cool guy.
Starting point is 00:21:50 There was only a couple of women on the team. It was 98% men, but he didn't treat me any differently. I'll never forget this was so funny. I think there was a hundred people on the team, sales team and two women or whatever. And so most people would treat me differently, you know, just because I was a girl. But he didn't.
Starting point is 00:22:08 And so one day I showed up to a meeting, five minutes late. He locked me out of the meeting. So I had to sit outside that meeting for one hour, scared to death, knowing that when he came out, I was dead. And it was just such a powerful, he drew a line in the sand that day that don't disrespect
Starting point is 00:22:27 my time. I won't disrespect yours. Never let this happen again. I've never been late for a meeting again since that happened in my life. I'm always early. The early is late to me, right? But it's because this man taught me that lesson. So there was a lot of great things happening back then.
Starting point is 00:22:41 But of course, in any situation, you never know what can happen. I end up getting promoted and now I'm working for someone different and this person treated me awful. Always sending me inappropriate messages, always asking to meet with me alone, completely inappropriate. I was not confident. I didn't know how to handle it. I was really frustrated. It was awful because I loved my job at the time and I was killing it.
Starting point is 00:23:04 Literally, I was the youngest brand manager at the Galloway and Reed. Like I was launching new brand. It was so exciting. I loved what I was doing, but unfortunately, I found myself and maybe this has happened to you. I loved what I was doing. I loved the job, but I found myself
Starting point is 00:23:17 in an horrible situation, horrible. And I was living with my boyfriend at the time. And I was always miserable. And he's like, what's wrong with you? And why does your boss act like this? It was just a mess, so. Say you have a business idea, but you're not sure what to do next.
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Starting point is 00:24:47 There's a reason I call Randalls home. They know fresh. Sincerely food. Sincerely Randalls. I end up making the decision to quit after journaling about this and I couldn't take it anymore. I call the owner of the company and I said, I need to meet with you in private outside of work.
Starting point is 00:25:06 We meet at a restaurant and he says, I know what this is about. You're suing me, aren't you? And I had zero plans of suing him. I had zero confidence. And I just said, no, I'm leaving. I don't want to be marked as the girl that causes problems in companies. I'm leaving, but I want you to see my journal. I want you to see and understand what this man does
Starting point is 00:25:25 and how horrible it is and get rid of him, not let him do this to another person. He said, you're not assuming me. I said, no, I'm not. I said, I'm just leaving. And if anyone ever asks about my employment here, just share that, you know, the good things I did and don't talk about this stuff
Starting point is 00:25:39 because I'm just a mortified. I was so worried people would think it was my fault. So I leave, he never fires a guy. Well, I don't know. Hang on. He ends up firing a guy years later when the guy does it again. Of course, right? So that was kind of crazy. But I move on and I get into the radio business and I started as an account executive and really fast. I moved up and sales was just my thing. And suddenly the owner says, you know, wow, you're going places, you're our top rep. You know, we gotta talk about some plans for you.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And I went home, I was living with my boyfriend and I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with another woman. Ugh, pump the brakes, heartbreak. I thought I was gonna marry this guy. By the way, sidebar, so glad I didn't. So he cheated on me. I was devastated, we went to therapy,
Starting point is 00:26:24 but I had to move out because I was not... I couldn't look at him in the eye. My family had moved away. I was living with a good friend. I was just miserable, unhappy, heartbroken, and I wore it on my sleeve at work. And so my boss was like, listen, you can't walk around here, frumpy and miserable. You got to turn back into the person I know, the champion I know.
Starting point is 00:26:43 He said, you know what? I'm going to make you an offer. Why don't you jump on a plane with me? Not going to tell you where we're going, but I will tell you this. I'm going to make you my partner, and I'm going to make you a very wealthy girl. And I said, that means I get out of this town. I get out of Wistermaster, choose it, and I don't have to see my ex-boyfriend again. Ding ding. Where do I sign?
Starting point is 00:27:02 And so I jumped on a plane with him, site unseen. He dropped me off in Saginaw, Michigan. We bought a $30 million operation and he left me there and he left. And I ran that operation for a little over two and a half years. Our goal was to accelerate revenue as fast as we could and sell it as fast as we could. And we sold that property for $55 million,
Starting point is 00:27:24 netting $25 million profit in under three years. It was crazy. We did such a great job. So, you know, again, strategic buy on his part, that part was smart and he had the money to do it. I didn't. I ran it and created the revenue, but, you know, it's still, it was a huge win and really put me on the map in the media business around being a revenue rock star. So then I moved from there and moved to Naples, Florida and pitched myself for a job that didn't exist at a publicly traded company.
Starting point is 00:27:54 I was awarded the position and got to work. And I'll tell you, over a 14 year period of time, went from a VP of sales to a chief revenue officer, was named most influential woman in radio, took our revenues from a 100 million a year annually to an excess of 200 million year annual buildings in an industry in decline.
Starting point is 00:28:17 Right, we were killing it and then I got fired. And so that was my real horrible moment, you know, that gosh, that was worse than the boyfriend cheating. I mean, that was worse than the sexually harassed. When I was, was like 42 or 43, I don't remember. But when I got fired, that was one of the worst things that happened in my adult life. In the moment, you know, today I'm able to look back on it
Starting point is 00:28:41 and see that things happened for a reason. And even though that was a really tough transition, it was a gift I wasn't meant to be, you know, today I'm able to look back on it and see that things happen for a reason. And even though that was a really tough transition, it was a gift. I wasn't meant to be, you know, in that company any longer. I was playing small trying to get them to like me. And even though I was completely overperforming, you know, that was just a, I was in the wrong room with the wrong people. So if you are in the wrong room with the wrong people, stand up and leave, find your people, find your room. They are out there. For years, I had pitched myself for a board
Starting point is 00:29:09 seat, constantly got the run around and wouldn't you know, after I got fired, landed my first board seat. So in that moment, you don't know because there's uncertainty, there's fear, there's this unknown, but that unknown could be the greatest gift that you could ever receive. And I know it's hard to understand at the time. I felt similar to this when the pandemic hit. And my speaking business disappeared overnight, right? I didn't know the virtual thing would become a thing. I didn't know, I'd be named Top 50 Keynote Speaker 2022 by real leaders.
Starting point is 00:29:41 I didn't know any of those things were going to happen. I didn't know what doors would open. I just knew I felt scared, uncertain. And the key I'm finding, gosh, it's so bizarre, I'm learning this at 47. The key I'm finding is that in those tough moments to focus on the opportunity on what could possibly lie ahead because what is possible is always changing. It's not stagnant. I wish I had done that back when I got fired. I wish I had done that right away when the pandemic hit, but I'm trying to train and teach myself to do it now when tough times come and they will start focusing on what is possible and what gift could be ahead and what you could have just been saved from like that bad boyfriend
Starting point is 00:30:23 I had that think goodness I did not end up with, right? So, and yeah, I ran into him a couple of years ago and it all worked out well that I did not end up with him. So, you don't know that at the time though, right? I'm sure you have these moments in your life that you look back and say, oh yeah, thank goodness, I didn't marry that person, thank goodness, I didn't stay in that job, thank goodness, you know, I was pushed out of that situation or treated poorly and that prompted me to leave. There's villains out there in your life that actually give you gifts. That lady gave me a gift.
Starting point is 00:30:51 I didn't know it at that time and it took me a while to grasp it. It took me a while to let go of the past. It's so funny. I was reminded about all of this today and this is about perspective. I got a phone call from one of my right hands back at that company that I worked up for 14 years. I had my right hand was a guy, and I loved him. His name was Rafe, such a sweetheart,
Starting point is 00:31:13 and we had so much fun working together. We were like, oh, frickin' frack, and I can delegate anything to him. Trust him completely. He would just handle things so well. I had a right hand that was a girl. Her name was Carolyn, not Caroline, and she was amazing too. I just had some, I built such a solid great team there of people I trusted that ran at a
Starting point is 00:31:33 really high level, really smart overachievers that was so fun. And so he called me today out of the blue. I hadn't spoken to him since 2020 since the pandemic, right, which is terrible. And it turns out his father passed away, he got divorced, he got promoted at work, right? There's been so many challenges he's faced and so many opportunities, so many highs and lows, highs and lows, right?
Starting point is 00:31:57 So it doesn't matter where you are, who you're working with or what part of the country you're in, you're gonna have highs and lows. And speaking to him on the phone today, reminded me about that business I used to be in and the people I used to work with and, you know, being at the top of my game and the top of that industry and the recognition and having that expertise, having done something for over 20 years, you're really good at it, right? You know who to call, you know what to do. And that does give you a sense of confidence versus where I am now as a rookie entrepreneur with only, you
Starting point is 00:32:29 know, three or four years in, there's more uncertainty. And it was just, it gave me such a shot of perspective. And he wanted to introduce me to somebody, a friend of his, starting a business in Miami. And he told the woman, you know, I'm going to introduce you to Heather, but she's really running at a very high level and you better be prepared if you're going to talk to her about business because she does not mince words. And you know, he's talking about me the way he knows me as a chief revenue officer. And it's just so funny to me, you know, to remember what that felt like, like that level of confidence when you've been doing something for a long time. Now, conversely, again, like I mentioned, I'm a two-time rookie author,
Starting point is 00:33:11 I'm two-year-in-podcast host. All these things now, I just only have very little experience with, so I don't have that expertise or that confidence from being at the highest level in the game. I know I will get there one day, and I did it before, right? I did it in corporate America. I can do it as an entrepreneur,
Starting point is 00:33:29 but there's lots of messy steps and mistakes and not, you know, operating in the dark and just taking chances and going for it in order to figure out if it's right. And every time I try something new, I just put it out there to the universe. Gosh, I hope this works. If it's meant to be for me, right?
Starting point is 00:33:46 Like if this is meant to be, if not, universe God, show me the way. Close the doors that are not meant for me and open the ones that are. And looking at life and this journey as an adventure, not a chore, our perspective is our own. The choice is yours. I hope you choose wisely. So the next time that big nightmare hits,
Starting point is 00:34:08 that big relationship blows up or you get fired or an industry collapses because of technology, know that that silver lining is ahead. You just have to start moving forward to find it. And that's what I'm reminding myself of this week. So keep your perspective available to you. Keep it a good perspective. Choose the adventure, not the chore, and please choose to share this episode. It would mean the world to me. And you'll get a chance to win overcome your villains. My new book out now, and I'm going to autograph it for you and send it to myself. So I will be running a contest. As I said, this week only anyone who shares the show on social media make sure you tag me so that you can get included.
Starting point is 00:34:51 And I will be pulling one winner this week. You're gonna receive my new book, autographed by yours, truly. And I appreciate your help. No one succeeds alone, people. And that includes me. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic life that I feel like.
Starting point is 00:35:09 I couldn't be more excited to know what you're getting here. Start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. You know what? 16 to 11. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me.
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