Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Why Radical Generosity Will CHANGE The Game For You and Your Relationships with John Ruhlin Episode 123

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

This man has completely REWROTE my concept of gift giving with his philosophy of Radical Generosity. It’s time to stop giving underwhelming gifts that cost us money and actually damage our relationships with clients, customers, and employees. John Ruhlin is the creator of Gift·ology, the strategy of maximizing customer loyalty and turning clients into active referral machines. It’s about getting out of the transaction business and getting into the relationship business. It’s about going all in on PEOPLE! If you want to stop wasting money and start dropping love bombs, click play!   About The Guest: John Ruhlin is the founder of The Ruhlin Group, a gift logistics company that helps clients like the Chicago Cubs, Wells Fargo, Caesar's Entertainment, Miami Dolphins, Morgan Stanley, and The John Maxwell Company execute year-round gifting strategies.   John's unique approach to relationships led him to become the #1 salesman for a $250 Million direct sales company by the time he was 23 (out of 1.5 Million reps). He now speaks widely about strategic gifting and relationship building and helps CEOs and sales teams drive referrals and open doors to elusive decision makers.   Finding John Ruhlin: Website: https://giftologygroup.com/  John’s website: https://johnruhlin.com/  For the Gift·ology Playbook: Giftologysystem.com  For an Artifact Mug: https://artifactmug.com/  Read Giftology  Contact John at [e-mail]  Twitter: @ruhlin   To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/    Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!    My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE   If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com    *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!     See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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thing that was world class. You don't take somebody to the public golf course, you take them to the public beach. You don't take somebody to McDonald's, you take somebody to Morton's. Most people are already doing those things. They don't have an event at Motel 6. They have an event at Ritz Carlton. But most people do their gifting at a Motel 6 level. There's a disconnect there.

They don't realize it because nobody's ever challenged them on it. Because there's such a delta there, why is your Ritz Carlton better than my four seasons? But when you're at that motel six level and you start sending Ritz Carlton level gifts, now you're like, you are the purple cow. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals.

We've come adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. There's no sleep in the air. I'm ready for my close time. Well, I am so excited for this episode today. I'm freaking out. This is my new friend, John Rulin. He's the world's leading authority

in maximizing customer loyalty through radical generosity. He is a founder and author of Giftology and has been featured in Fox News, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc. and The New York Times, while becoming the number one performer out of 1.5 million sales reps for one of the world's most recognizable brands, John developed a system of using generosity

to gain access to elite clients and generate thousands of referrals. He and his firm now help automate this process for individuals, hopefully for me, and organizations like UBS, Rayman James, DR Horton, Keller Williams, the Chicago Cubs, and Caesars Palace. John and the Giftology team can help any individual turn their clients into their own personal sales force to drive exponential growth. John, thank you so much for being here. My pleasure, Heather.

This is going to be a blast. This is so crazy, and I just have to share this with everybody right now. I had never heard of you. We live in the noisiest world, right? Like there's so much clamor. I don't know how I didn't know you before. This is crazy.

I get a call from one of my dearest friends, Scott McGregor. And he says, Heather, I have to introduce you to someone. You're gonna freak out. I know you're gonna need to have them on the podcast. John, hear my eye roll, because I hate when people do, I don't wanna have people on my, I know who I want my podcast, right? Of course.

So I'm like, okay Scott, Scott's my good friend. I have to, you know, if he hands someone to me, I have to see it through. So I said, okay, great, thanks so much. Now this is so freaking crazy. And it's so serendipitous, and this is how the universe is. And I'm so excited to share the story.

So I happen to be speaking for an event for Scott in his community that week, virtually. Unbeknownst to me, I do the speech, disconnect, whatever I go about my day. Scott calls me that day. He says, hey, someone in the audience has requested your address. Are you comfortable with me giving it out?

I said, no, that's creepy. Don't give my address out. He said, they want to give you a gift. And I said, I don't know, it's weird Scott. He said, I trust this person. Do you trust me? Yes, okay, fine. Okay, so a couple of days later, John, this is crazy.

I get this box. And I'm like, oh gosh, I hope there's no body parts in here. And I open it up. And it's gift ology. It's your book, right? And it's in this beautiful black leather satchel inside like this velvet red box. It was gorgeous. Like it was, I was so taken aback and I didn't know initially what and then I looked and I saw it was your name. And I thought, oh my gosh, this is crazy. This is the guy that I'm having on the show. Fast forward you and I speak. A week later you send me this unbelievable.

And by the way, guys, I'm going to share on social. So go to my social media feeds, LinkedIn, Facebook and Instagram. And you're going to see this video. I open up a box. And I think it's the same box. I just open from one of the people at this event. I spoke at. But no, it's not this box I just opened from one of the people at this event I spoke at. But no, it's not.

This box is you, I open the top, and I was so taken aback. It's a video of you saying, hey Heather, it was so cool, it was so personalized. Immediately I'm like pulling this whole thing apart, saying, how did you do this? This is, I mean, it was, I've never received such a cool eye opening thing until, and you're like,

Heather, you have me on the show and all you do is talk. It's so crazy. Until you come back to me and say, I want to pay it forward, Heather, and I want to do something nice. Who would you like to give a gift to? You and I decided Scott McGregor, and you have this custom made piece of art slash mug, designed for Scott, we have it sent to him and he's literally in tears full circle. It was such an impactful moment for him.

For me, it was just what a powerful impact you and your company have on people. I'm just, I'm so, it just came full circle. I mean, I'm so grateful for it. Yeah, well, your response on like, who wants to talk to the gift guide? Nobody, because you think of the million people that sell promotional items or swag,

or hey, here's a Harry and David basket of crap that you don't want, or whatever. So your response is normal, and it's those response when I'm on big stages. You can tell there to like, is this kid like the nephew to the owner, like, how did he end up on this stage? Because nobody cares about what they think on big stages, you can tell they're like, is this kid like the nephew to the owner, like how did he end up on this stage? Because nobody cares about what they think of as gifts, but the core of what we teach has nothing to do with the gift.

It's how do you use the gift, the item as a delivery vehicle for an emotion. And obviously we've had a couple of those kind of connections with the VIP, what I now call the VIP 3.0, which is the video screen, and then the artifact mug, which is like one of my, it's like the Super Bowl of Gifting. It's like cost a thousand bucks, because it takes four weeks to make

and it makes some, most people, even billionaires cry from it. It's not because they couldn't afford the mug. It's the, oh my gosh, I've never felt somebody think of me this way in a way that's tangible. Most people, it's like, you know, here's your gift card or here's your jewelry or whatever, which is fine, but it's not what we teach. Wow, the impact is so profound.

I can share this. I am completely re-strategizing my book launch based on what I've learned from your book, from what you taught me just in this individual experience. And I'm so grateful for that. And I want everyone to really listen right now to this, because, John, you're gonna break it down for us. Will you share with everyone?

You didn't grow up wealthy. You didn't come from this big gifting family and how you really started out. Yeah, well, I'm a farm kid. I grew up in Ohio. I grew up milk and goats every morning. I was the one of six kids, like literally, like I was the kid that showed up smelly

at, you know, crap on their boots at school. And, you know, we had a one-acre garden. We had, I bailed Hay in the summers. I wasn't going to Disney World or the swimming pool. I was like, it was a farm. I don't wanna say survive, because that sounds a little dramatic. But, I mean, we were definitely, like, I was on the free lunch program at school.

That tells you, like, the level that we grew up. And it was, you know, slightly embarrassing. It was definitely not how I wanted to live my life going forward. And so you grew up in Ohio, I literally looked at the census the other day. And it was like, it went from like 318 people when I was there to like now like 420. So it's grown somehow, one light town. But a lot of like what I teach came out of desperation when I interned with Cutco, the knife company. a lot of people have heard of Cutco knives. I didn't know what it was, but I had a buddy who's a seminary student of all things.

He was like, going to go be a missionary. And he was starting selling the knives because they have an internship division for college kids. And I pitched my girlfriend's dad, which is the most awkward conversation, by the way. And the reason I pitched him is he was the most generous person that ever met. He was always giving things away. He was, like, he'd find deals on noodles and buy like a semi-load of noodles. And like, I'm like, Paul, that was 40 grand, are you nuts? So I pitched him that knives, because all of his clients are CEOs of companies, and they're in the outgrores. I thought maybe he'll buy

the $200 pocket knives. And a lot of what I teach stems from this one conversation 20 years ago. Literally, I have 20 years old. I'm in the kitchen pitching knives to my girlfriend's dad, weird, he's like, I don't want to order the pocket knives, I'd like to order a hundred of the $200 each pairing knives. And I'm like, you want to give a bunch of CEOs and like a bunch of dude, oh, it's kind of guys, they're married dudes. I'm like, you want to give them a kitchen tool like,

why? And he said, John, the reason I have more referrals, reason I have more loyalty, reason I have more loyalty, reason I have more engagement, access. You name it. I found out if you take care of the family in business, everything else takes care of itself. So that was like the lightning bolt moment when I realized it was the item, the gift, the stupid knives. To this day, we do millions of dollars with that same company on our gift agency. The item is the delivery vehicle for the emotion. It shows that you care about somebody

and there's all these different things that most people do horribly wrong. They spend, like, it's amazing how many companies spend millions, if not billions of dollars, to actually annoy, frustrate, guilt, or piss off. They're most important, employed. Like, I had a buddy of mine who sold his company for a bazillion dollars, his wife is a nurse.

She worked five years for this great university hospital and she got after five years, that's 10,000 hours. Just went through COVID, it was a pen and pencil set that you could get at Target for 1995. And the pen doesn't even work at the hospital because it's the wrong color ink. She didn't even able to use it at the hospital.

So she gets, like basically they spent $20 plus wherever the fulfillment cost were to annoy, frustrate, and piss off one of their most valuable employees. And I'm like, that's embarrassing. You're spending money to drive your most important people away. And every business rises and falls on relationships. Referrals come from people that trust you.

Engaged employees that stick around for 20 years come from people that are bought in and feel like known and seen and most people do the exact opposite so a lot of what we now called giftology stems back to what I learned 20 years ago from this, you know, really relationship master attorney. opening. There's been so many occasions in my life where people have sent me a mug with their logo on it. And it goes right into the trash, right? Like those are not meaningful things, but thinking about the difference between, you know, promo materials, it's all about the company, all about their brand versus the way you think about it, which is it's all about that person and creating that relationship with that person. Yeah, I mean, people do things in business for their employees, for their clients, for their suppliers, for their dealers, like they're all just human beings.

Like you would never go to your best friend's wedding and on the beautiful knife or Tiffany's vase or whatever, like compliments of time-worn or cable. Like nobody would do that. That's the cheesiest, worst, horrible thing you could ever, like it'd be offensive, it would be tacky. But horrible thing you could ever, like, it'd be offensive. It would be tacky. But in business, we do it,

and we call it branding and marketing. It's neither, because what you're branding and marketing that you're not thoughtful, that you don't understand what a gift is. So everything that's been taught when it comes to promotional items, fine, but don't expect to connect to somebody's heart. And don't expect to get your,

like, everybody wants more referrals. Everybody wants their employees to stick around heart, and don't expect to get your, like everybody wants more referrals, everybody wants their employees to stick around longer. That doesn't come from head knowledge. Most of the time people don't leave a company because of pay, that might be number five on the list. They usually leave because they don't have a connection, they don't feel connected to their direct report, you know, the person that's their boss,

they don't feel appreciated, they don't feel known, they don't feel seen, like we leave as, because we're emotional beings. So people come to us and I'm like, John, I wanna do a program with your agency and they wanna do a referral program and I'm like, are you in the relationship business or the transaction business?

I don't, even people that sell toilet paper like all were all about relationships. I'm like, if somebody gives you a referral and then you send the gift, what did you just turn that relationship into? Transaction, right? That's a great point. I hadn't thought of it that way.

Tip for tat, you do this, you get this. Absolute people don't do things because they got some bottle of wine. Scott reached out to you because of the relationship. He's like, I know that this relationship is going to benefit John, but it's really gonna benefit Heather and it's gonna benefit me

because I'm gonna get the halo effect of the fireworks that are gonna come from this conversation. And so there's a like everybody wants trust. Everybody wants people to go out and advocate on their behalf, and yet most people do the same stupid like sponsorships and the same advertising and the same dinners at Whartons and the same golf trips and whatever else. And there's nothing wrong with those things, but those are like table stakes. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever January marked a third time a power station north carolina was damaged by gunfire authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat authorities are now checking

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And what we've shown is that if you do this well and invest it, it actually can come back to 100 fold, 100x. Return on relationship is the most powerful math equation on the planet. Like you get Facebook ads, you get a 3x. You do this radio ads, you get a 5x. Show me in any business in any industry, whether you're a sole pernuer, or whether you're a $20 billion company, it all comes down to people. It's like, in oftentimes, it's not having 10 million followers, it's like these 100 clients, these 100 partners, these 200 joint ventures, these 50 dealers,

make or break, billion dollar companies. It's not millions of people. It's oftentimes a handful of people, and most people don't understand how to invest in those relationships in a way that makes people feel a certain way and inspire them to go act. And I've literally seen clients of ours get a thousand X return on relationships.

Show me where you can invest a dollar and get a thousand dollars back. There's no other place on the planet other than investing in people. I know what people are thinking right now. Wow, sounds great for these big companies and these billionaires, but I don't have some big line item. What do you say to those people? I love it. I'm actually, I love the David and Goliath. Like, if I start a podcast, it's going to be David and Goliath because the publicly traded companies oftentimes are our worst clients because they're just trying not to get fired. They're just playing the game. Everybody says they play the long game and I talked to Vaynerchuk about this.

Most people's long game and publicly traded companies is a quarter, maybe two quarters. But the long game is not days, it's decades. And a small company, a midsize company that's doing whether it's a million dollars in business or it's called a 50 million dollar company is still small compared to a public-beach-rated company. And so what I love is that you don't have to have millions or billions of dollars. I bootstrap this as a 20-year-old. I started out with $500 a month invested this way.

That's six grand a year. That's a lot as you're paying for college 20 years ago. But what I found is that most people, they'll hire, let's say you're a small company and you have 20 employees. I'll see entrepreneurs that will hire two employees and they'll add $150,000 to their fixed cost overhead. 150 grand is real money versus taking 150 grand and investing it into their top 50 relationships.

That's $3,000 per person. Sounds like a lot until you go pick up a bar tab in Vegas. At a trade show, that cost you three grand. Disponsor the event cost you 20 grand to fly your employees to an off-site retreat cost you 25 grand. So it's not like, you don't have to spend millions of dollars, but I see even small entrepreneurs that are doing three million in revenue that have five or 10 employees that start to understand that they could redirect their overall marketing budget and their biz dev.

And if they start to take that same amount of money, whether it's five grand or 50 grand or 500 grand, whatever the numbers are, and they start to reinvest it differently into people, instead of doing the sponsorship or the Facebook ads, I just spoke the 400 SaaS companies. None of them are doing more than 10 million in revenue individually. So they're small businesses. And I'm like, you guys will spend all this,

your development cost was a half a million dollars for that piece of software over there. What if you also invested one 10th at about 50 grand in your top 20 relationships? How would those relationships flourish? Great example of this I talk about in the book, but like Cameron Harrell, the guy did the Brooks Brothers experience for people like, this was 14 years ago.

I invested $7,000 to create a Brooks Brothers experience. I found out the guys, I wanted to impress this one person. I found out a shirt size, I outfit his whole hotel room because he's like one of the top business coaches in the world. I outfit his Ritz Carlton with everything, jacket suits, belts, pants, shoes, whatever else. Seven grand is a lot for one person.

After that, I invested another 18 grand over 10 years. So 25 grand over 10 years, $2,500 a year, even a solo pernurer if they really wanted to could invest $2,500 a year. I mean, that's like Netflix and Apple and Starbucks. Like it's like what most people like spend on entertainment for the year. This don't choose to invest that way.

So that $2,500 people, that's a waste. Why would you invest that much in one relationship? I'm like, if I wanted to hire Cameron as a sales rep for my company, for one year, he wouldn't take the job for $2 million. Instead, I loved on him, but no strings attached. And it cost me 25 grand spent not over 10 years. That's $2,500 a year. And he's gone out and produced no commissions over a million dollars. One relationship, because he decided to go advocate. So my first, when I was begging to speak for free, he would

get double booked. He'd be like, you got a book, John Rowan, maybe I could use that. Like, you just trust me. Before there was giftology, before there was giftology book. So my first, when I was begging to speak for free, he would get double booked. He'd be like, you got a book, John Rulant, maybe I could use that. Like, you just trust me. Before there was gift allergy, before there was gift allergy book. So my first 10,000, 20,000, 30,000, 50,000 hour speaking gigs came because of Cameron selling me better than I could sell myself. All of his CEO clients, guess what he sends them. He's our agency to send them custom knives and all these other things. And then he sends them my book that he pays for and pitches me to all of his clients that are CEOs of like mid-sized companies, $10 million company to a billion dollar company.

That's like he is like written five books. I don't know if he's been on your show or not. If he hasn't, he'd be like amazing. But 25 grand to have a sales rep, that's the best in the world, go sell on your behalf for a decade. Where can you get that? There's no other way to do that

other than, you know, like Scott would go sell you and probably has sold you based upon the relationship, the trust, the he wants to see you win. And what people don't understand is when you can do this thoughtfully, consistently and pour into your relationships, you inspire them to be the best sales people that you could never hire. Period, end of story. What you've done in your turning

friends, family, clients into active, referral machines. Yeah, most people think they have loyalty, but what they really have is passive loyalty. Loyalty, if you think about the people, the teams, like if you're, if your kid wants to get into Harvard, you're going to actively go advocate and connect the dots and try to get them into Harvard. That's active loyalty. That's where somebody's going out of their way to find the angle and the connection and open the door and have the accurate conversation. That's active loyalty. Passive loyalty is, oh, it, who do you use for your landscaping? Oh, I use Bob. Is he good? He's okay. Oh, I'll call Bob. I don't know anybody else I'll call Bob.

That's a passive referral, but an active, somebody that's actively loyal can go out and outsell and outrefer 100 passive loyalists. Because that person, the Scott McGregor, the Cameron Harolds, if you think about the people in your world, like most people have one if they're lucky, and oftentimes they're a family member. But in business, if you can start to turn your clients into actively loyal referral agents and actively loyal advocates, all of a sudden, like, you can't invest enough

in those relationships, because they can go out and do things that you could never do for yourself. And that's where people talk about, like, one of our phrases, referrals without asking. The only way you can get massive amounts of referrals without asking is by taking these warm relationships that like you

and dousing them with, I call them love bombs, like the artifact mug, thousand-hour mug, that was a love bomb. When somebody gets hit with a love bomb and then another love bomb and then another love bomb, like, you don't have to believe in a God or universe, whatever, like my faith, like, teaches me in the Old Testament, like, if you pour into relationships,

you reap what you sow, and it comes back a hundred acts. It's New Testament, same way. Like, the Bible teaches these things. People are like, John, this is radical stuff. I'm like, you mean the stuff I'm teaching from 5,000 year old transcripts? Like, it's not radical. We've just forgotten that kings would

give other kings a 10,000-headed cattle back 5,000 years ago. Why? Because as human beings, we understand that the value you place on the relationship is shown by how you show up for that relationship. And when you give a thoughtful over-the-top gift with no strings attached, whether it's to your spouse, your client, or your employee, as human beings, we want to reciprocate. We want to go and see that other person do well too, because we feel a certain emotion in our DNA wants to go and do it. It's tribal.

I don't care if you live in Africa or Idaho or people like John, when we spoke at Google, they're like, does this work in technology? And I laughed. I was like, are there human beings here? And they laughed, the engineer laughed, and they're like, yeah, I'm like, are there human beings here? And they laughed at the engineer laughed and they're like, yeah, I'm like, well, then it works because we're humans. And even in 2021, we still crave even more so because everything's so transaction, so digital. And so like disconnected that when you can like show up for people, they're like, oh my, like,

we just did a gift for Gary Vaynerchuk, CMO, Andrea, and she gave it to her husband. And he balled like a baby. And then they're like, hey, we got to, I want to do this for another person. Like, it discrates these ripple effects of like good will, but it's not like hold hands and sing kumbaya. It's like, this is how like businesses thrive is with people going out and wanting to see win.

Like, there's a reason that like companies like Southwest Airlines is dominated. It's because what's their logo? It's love. It's a big heart. But they don't just talk about it. They actually do things differently than their competitors. And not to say that there's anything wrong with the other airlines out there.

But when you do this and go all in on people, the ripple effects of that come back 100 fold. It's just how people are wired. When you were just explaining that this goes back to, you know, 5,000 years ago, and it reminded me as a sales leader, I always taught my sales team, send thank you notes, you want to follow up, you know, do the small things that make a difference. In some ways, listening to you speak, I was doing the small things instead of thinking about what's the biggest way I can make an impact? Well, handwritten note though is super rare. Why?

Because it takes extra energy and effort. It's easier to send a text. It's why, like, I don't do Facebook posts on my friends. I send them a personalized video on their birthday. Even though I don't really like in business, I say no ABC gift, no anniversaries, no birthdays, no Christmas. Most people give gifts at expected times. And those, whether it's, I mean, I think about, like, no anniversary, no birthdays, no Christmas. Most people give gifts at expected times. And those, whether it's, I mean, I think about like for my wife,

if I show up on Valentine's Day and birthday and Christmas, like those are table stakes. I don't get brownie points for like showing up for my wife's birthday. Like you better show up for your wife's birthday, you better, and with clients, it's the same thing. Like, oh, you know, employee, you've been here 10 years. Here's the catalog you go pick your gift from. It's lame. It shows no thoughtfulness, it shows no engagement. It's a transactional. I have to do this because you've been here

this long. So if you can show up and be in like do the most that you can do, most people like once they have the client, what do they do? They take them for granted, once they have the employee, what do they do? They take them for granted. Right now, there's a talent shortage and people are like recruiting other people and throwing money at them and They take them for granted. Once they have the employee, what do they do? They take them for granted. Right now, there's a talent shortage. And people are recruiting other people and throwing money at them. And people tend to only stick around if people have had their back in good times and in bad.

And so most people are like, oh, I'm going to do a gift at Christmas. I'm like, hey, that's the worst time. But let's set that aside. I'm like, what's your budget to show gratitude to these all of your employees? And they're like, ah, we're thinking $47. And I'm like, you think that you're gonna rule

and wow your employee who just put in 2,000 hours this year with 40, like the cost of a polo shirt? Like that's how you're gonna like earn their loyalty? How about you say, like, what's the most you could do in this situation? And we've started to do that probably 10 years ago with our own employees. And we said, what's the most you could do in this situation? We've started to do that probably 10 years ago with our own employees. We said, what's the most we could do for these people? That they would never do for themselves.

A lot of our employees were, we've been remote for 12 years. We started to pay to have their houses clean. Every employee gets it. The investment is $2,500. When I spoke at Google, a couple of people are like, that's how do you afford that? And I'm like, when you're hiring an employee, you've been a baseline employee, let's call it 35 to 45 granted entry level employee.

That's a $10,000 Delta that you think nothing of that 10 grant when you're hiring the person, whether you hire them for 35 or 45. That's an extra 10 grant and overhead that you just added. And I tell people the time, nobody brags about their 401k or that their health benefits, Like those are table stakes. You start paying to have their houses clean every other week.

Like make their life easier, give them time back to be with their family, their hobbies, go work out, go for a walk, whatever. Like now you're pouring into them in a way that means something to them. And so Gifting is just that same way. Like I send $500 headphones to my interns. And people are like, why would you do that?

We don't even send $500 to our 10-year employees. And I'm like, hey, that's dumb. $500 is a rounding error relative to any employee salary, like nothing, but $500 to an intern that you hopefully want to recruit someday. And we'll do like the headphones around like final time saying, hey, we want to help you block out the noise so you can study and crush it. you know, don't ask for anything.

It's just an investment in them. And when you can show up that way for people in a way that's totally unexpected. When the normal thing to do is, hey, here's your peanut brittle or your Amazon gift card employee or client. And you go and do it 10 times higher than that. In that category, it feels like what Seth Goden talks about, which is the purple cow. It feels remarkable because you took something, it's why our business card stand out,

like in our letterhead, we have the letterhead that we write on, it's $9. People freak out because most letterhead is what, 10 cents. So I took it 90 times higher. My $9 letterhead is still way cheaper than the $90 trinket that you're going to send out to people. And even though it's 90% less, because I took it into a category and went blue ocean,

it becomes remarkable. It's why the book, you know, like most people will go, take somebody out to dinner, no problem, cost them $300, $500, no problem. I spent on my, when I book out published, I ordered 50 of the copies the way that you got it. The original one that I think Eric sent you. They were almost $300 each. They said they're also monogrammed to the person, to their spouse. There was no ask. They were handmade galley copies, $300 each. My author, but he's made fun of me.

They're like, $300 for a book. They're like, they're all bragging about how cheap they're printing their book. And I'm taking it the entire opposite direction. Here's what happened. I sent it to Vaynerchuk. I sent it to Seth Godin. I sent it to either clients, friends, or people I respected from afar with no ask. And guys like Michael Hyatt, who was in publishing for 30 years, said, and he gets four to five thousand books sent to him every year. He's like, I read none of them. I give them all the goodwill or to the library. He said, John, now I need to read your book, but my wife Gail read it and I wrote a 30 copies for my team. And oh, by the way, I'd like to have you on my show.

I didn't ask to be on the show. So $300 in a category where most people don't even spend $3. It becomes this mind-blowing experience. And that's all we've done with Gifting is most people's bar. Most people think they're a seven out of ten on gifting. Like, oh yeah, we're good at swag and promo. They're a negative three because nobody is honestly telling them that the bottle of wine that they got in their wife is an alcoholic or their dad was or you sent them a $50 bottle of wine and their daily drinker is a $150 bottle or you sent them this bottle and they actually drink white or they don't, they're on a keto fast right now and now you're just tempting them. So most people are investing all of this money into things that are actually negatively impacting

their bottom line. And they have no idea because it feels mean and rude for them to say, and I know deer, so and so, I actually thought less of you as a relationship because your gift was so unthoughtful, was so disconnected from who I am that makes me realize you don't really know me. That's not a good investment. Wow, it's such an epiphany. I hear this is all I'm thinking about is my first book, Launch John. I sat right here in my condo with UPS, you know, the crappy looking, little shipping things. And I would stuff those books in there with the ass. Thanks so much. I mean, the world to me if you would blah, blah, blah, and sent out hundreds, the amount of money I spent in shipping didn't justify the ROI I got, right? Because most people, like you said,

they didn't respond. They just crickets. I heard nothing back and I thought to myself this is part of the process. You know, this is the grind Heather but now as I'm sitting here going into this window to you know launch my second book. No way. Even if it came down to now with the knowledge I have from your book and from meeting with you there's no way I'd rather tighten the pool up and not go after 500 of the top people in media. I'd rather target Seth, who's been on my show and Gary Vaynerchuk and have a tighter group and invest more money into each one of the love bombs that I'm going to send them. Not the crappy UPS package. People all the time say don't judge a book by its cover, but there's 30,000 books, new titles

that show up on Amazon every week. 30,000. And so when I came out of the book, it was self-published. But I wanted it to feel like the nicest book that if even if Simon and Schuster or Ingram or whoever published it, you know, they didn't know John Rune, was they didn't care. Now those guys are reaching out, saying,

hey, when are you publishing your next book? Well, part of it was the way we launched it, but part of it was I committed to a five year launch. Every week, I do one to three things that are book related. I speak, I blog posts, I guess post, I do a podcast. Something, and like my buddies, like, bust my chops hard that have known me for 20, 30 years are like, China, you are like ruthless.

You're a whore in yourself out, like nonstop with this giftology thing. Like just still talking about it. I'm like, we sold more books last week on Amazon. Five years in June 16th, we launched it five years ago in 2016. We sold more books that week than we sold any other week in the last five years. Wow. That's fun. For anyone who doesn't know the book business, that's unbelievable.

Yeah, it's, I mean, if you look at the amount of books that we've sold, because we own the right suite, sell on Amazon, out of bull, Kindle, obviously we sell a lot when we speak and have other people just reach out ordering bulk. But I mean, we're, you know, over 100,000 books for a self-published book is big deal. And our speaking fees are approaching six figures internationally when I was begging to speak for free seven years ago. Vaynerchuk is like beating the same drum. Even Dave Ram, like a lot of these guys that, you know, he's been beating the same drum

of don't go in debt for 30 years. He's built, you know, a thousand person company. Or like my buddies are like, China, you're basically getting paid to go teach people to be thoughtful and kind. You paid to go teach people to be thoughtful and kind. You paid to go teach people to be nice. No, it's way more than that. I know it is. But at a root level,

it's the idea of loving people is not a radical concept. The idea of being thoughtful is not a radical concept, but most people don't have a strategy on how to do that differently and how to show up differently and how to scale it. I mean, the core of our agency, the reason the company is high-risk, is it's not hard to do that differently and how to show up differently and how to scale it. I mean, the core of our agency, the reason companies hire us, is it's not hard to do one gift, well, for your spouse or for your best client.

And people are like, John, you're just good at this. I'm like, no, actually my love language, if you've read five love languages, Gary Chapman wrote the book and sold, I think, close to 30 million copies, is a mentor of mine. My words of affirmation guy, gifting isn't even in my top two love languages.

I'm a farm kid who is introverted. I hated being on stage for a long time, but here's the cool thing is as an introvert farm kid, when I sent an amazing love bomb gift to somebody in business, guess what I got? Words of affirmation, I got doors open for me. I didn't have to be the life of the party. They would go be the life of the party for me

and they would take me around. I remember early on, like my mentors and these different people I did things for, they grabbed me and go introduce me to their friend. I was never the person to go work the room. But because I showed up for people a certain way, those extroverts or those other people that became the actively low advocates

were the ones who went and opened the doors for me and grabbed the person. Said, you got to meet this person. You got to do this thing. And so as this country bumping and farm kid who is introverted, now I play an extrovert on stage, but the idea of what we're doing, it seems like, and some people it seems readily radical,

and other people it's like, that's so simple, stupid. It's not, it's only difficult if you try to scale it. If you try to do it in business, not for one person, but you're trying to do it for a dozen people. Or in your case, you know, like you have 500 media outlet people that you wanna make an impact with, or 250 partners or guests on your show, or like most people don't realize

how many different people are in their ecosystem. Suppliers and partners and media and influencers and past clients and future clients and investors and mentors and most people don't realize how many people it really takes to be successful in business. Oftentimes it's a lot of fricking people and they don't have a relationship plan on how they're going to consistently show up for those people. And when they start to look at it, they start to get overwhelmed and they either cut corners

or they don't do anything. If you want like a framework for your audience to go dive into and look at things on their own, same thing that we charge tens of thousands of hours to do, they can go to giftologysystem.com. They can download our whole playbook of, it's not the what. Most people get hung up on, I want something cool as a gift.

That's the seventh step in the process. The what is not the important thing. The who is more important? Who are you giving it to? What's important to them? Do they have a second step inner circle? Do they have an assistant, a team, a spouse, kids, pets, that, a lot of the gifts that we do include those people.

The reason that I've still worked at this day, most people have a significant other, they have a home, they break bread, like the mug, most people drink coffee or tea. So it's universal, but it also like there's a halo effect of getting into the hub of the kitchen. So the concepts that we're talking about, they scale in every industry,

if you're willing to put your time, energy, effort and intentionality, you know, where your words are. Most people are like, oh yeah, we're all about people and then they don't do anything for those people. And they send out, we value you, here's then they don't do anything for those people and they send out we value you Here's your you know jacket with our logo on it like really like that's how you show gratitude to your million dollar relationships And when I call it out from the stage people like some of them like their jaws at the ground They're like oh my gosh. We've been doing this wrong for 33 years had no idea now like what we can do about it

Like are we gonna redirect our dollars and invest this way, are we gonna just kinda stay safe and do the same thing as we've been doing? And most people, they talk a good game, but the amount of people that actually take this information and actually execute on it is so small. People are like, are you gonna be worried that gift allergies is just gonna become commonplace? And I'm like, the amount of people that are actually

thoughtful and intentional with this in the business world is so disgustingly small, even of people that are actually thoughtful and intentional with this in the business world is so disgustingly small Even of people that have heard me speak because it just feels overwhelming You should know what that means already that's the best kind of notification That's the sound of another sale on Shopify and the moment another business dream becomes a reality Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify is Simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business.

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Learn how to run a successful business and graduate rich not broke. Trust me you need to check out this podcast. Learn how to run a successful business and graduate rich, not broke. Trust me, you need to check out this podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, who started their business from Square One and now have years of valuable experience. They hit lows and dug themselves out of debt and want to share the lessons they've learned with aspiring entrepreneurs. You don't need a degree to succeed. Millionaire University will teach you everything you need to know. From specifics like how to start a software business without creating your own software, to more broad topics,

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Find the Millionaire University on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. This episode is brought to you by Taukaya Tree. Talking about mental health isn't always easy. Finding care should be. Meet Taukaya Tree. They offer virtual in-network psychiatry to treat the most common mental health conditions, like depression, anxiety, OCD, and trauma. Within a week, they can match you with a doctor who takes insurance and takes the time to listen. Get started at talkitry.com slash start. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com slash start. I don't think it's even thoughtful, it's smart.

Right? It's thoughtful, it's like, you're giving it. Forget that. Somebody doesn't happen to be thoughtful. They have to be intelligent. I mean, look at the freaking ROI here. And I think you said something really important. If you don't have a relationship strategy and 99.9 percent myself included, I didn't have a strategy on how

to create the relationships and turn them into raven fans and turn them into active participants and bringing me business. I never thought that way. So I'm assuming most people listening right now, same way. So I'm going to link the Gephology System.com in the show notes. Now, John, tell us selfishly for me, but also for everyone listening, for the people who are smart, who are thoughtful and are going to take action, like me, how do we work with you? Yeah, I mean, the core thing is determining a that you, you know, that this is going to be not a flash in the pan or like a check the box for the next six months and then move on to the next thing. The last thing you're going to do is show up for people radically generously. And for people to realize it was a tactic versus like, if somebody won't commit to three years, they can't be a client.

And the reason is you don't want to be like daddy war bucks really like generous and then go back to being Ebony's or Scrooge. Like people recognize and read between the lines like, oh, that's not who you really are, that's not how you really show up. So like the idea of like having that long term mindset of three years, and then really it's just an understanding of do you have the relationships identified that are important to you? Is it these 25? Is it these 50s?

Is it these 500? Whatever those numbers are. And then what amount of profit do you want to reinvest back into them? You know, even a small company, let's say they do a million dollars in revenue. Their net profit was 200 grand. They could reinvest, in our opinion, they should be reinvesting 5 to 15 percent of net. 5 is low, 15 is high, 10 is the middle. So 10 percent of 200 grand is 20 grand.

Are you really willing to put 20 grand invested into their relationships this year? And then next year, hopefully, instead of 200 grand, you made 250. That means you're investing 25 grand. But the goal is to make it a math equation and say, I'm going to invest in these people knowing that it's going to come back to me way more than what I'm investing. They're basically buying their own gifts. That's the funny thing is, but because it's so rare for people to show up this way, if everybody was amazing and thoughtful at gift giving in doing this, it would just be marketing noise.

But because it's not, it's the purple cow. Most people are doing the Facebook ads on these other things. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's noisy over there. This is the blue ocean over here. And so if they want to hire us, they can email me, you know, personal email is on the screen, John and Gift allergy group.

Now you won't talk to me because I have giftologists that are way better gift givers ironically enough than I am. I get to be the talking head. I get to come up with the crazy ideas and go speak on stage. But my team helps lay out and walks people through that relationship plan and says, hey, you got 500 but what if we pair that down to 175? And then instead of doing things four times a year, what if we only did it twice a year,

but we did them really amazing? Instead of asking for something, how about we just plant some seeds and we dig our well before we're thirsty so that when the ass comes a year or two from now, like you've already earned, it's like Vaynerchuk's, jab, jab, jab, right hook, that's give, give, give, not once, not twice, three, you know, jab, jab, jab,

then you earn the right. Not the expectation, you earn the right to be able to ask. Now, if you expect it, it wasn't a gift. It was a manipulation. So part of it is like understanding the mindset that you have to go into this with and the investment philosophy. And you have to actually have the data of like,

hey, these are the relationships I care about. Here's the ones that I think I need to invest in in the future because I want to run this race 10 years from now and I want to be there. And these are the people I want to run it with. And so a lot of the heavy lifting on the front end by our clients is determining who that pool of people is so that when they come to us,

all we're doing is helping that kind of segment things and readjust and tweak and then our team hand writes the notes, picks the gift, strap ships things, our team plays Santa Claus year round, sending the crazy mugs to people and handwriting the notes and all of those things, but without the right mindset and without the right data, none of that matters. And the range on the gifts that you recommend

is a hundred to a thousand dollars. Yeah, I mean, our rule of thumb is it whatever it costs you to take somebody out to a nice dinner with wine, round the golf or ball game tickets. You know, we're not, the people are like, hey, what do you have for $47? I'm like, nothing. You should write handwritten note. But then they'll also say, John, we want to send like, you know, $30,000, a Louis Vuitton bag. And I'm like, is that really a gift or is that a bribe? Like, there is a tension. There's a sweet spot. I would say our average gift, you know,

is in that 200 to 700 range. We go as high as 5 grand for certain things. This, you know, they mug is a thousand bucks. It's not a bribe, but it's not a trinket. It's the same cost as if you took somebody out to an experiential thing that was world-class. Challenge with that is everybody does experiences any more world-class as they know that like, you don't take somebody to the public golf course, you take them to the public beach. You know, take somebody to McDonald's, you take somebody to Morton's.

Most people are doing those things. They don't have an event at Motel 6. They have an event at Ritz Carlton. But most people do their gifting at a Motel 6 level. There's a disconnect there. They don't realize it because nobody's ever challenged them on it. And so because there's such a delta there,

like if you want to compete at events, why is your Ritz Carlton better than my four seasons? Well, okay, like there's different properties, different things. But when you're at that Motel 6 level and you start sending Ritz Carlton level gifts, now you're like, you are the purple cow because the norm is so different. And so that understanding of, wow, I used to send $20 gift cards and I thought that was

generous or $50 a bottle of wine and now I'm adding a zero. That's scary for most people because they've never done it before. They've hired an employer, they've invested in a marketing campaign for six figures or even five figures. But now to invest that in Gifting, what if it doesn't work or what if I look silly or what you know, like all these doubts and fears creep in and so the people are like, yeah, just keep it same. We'll just hire two more people. We'll do our typical event sponsorship and we'll call it a day because it feels risky and awkward and uncomfortable to start being, you know, sending these love bombs like, what does play it safe for now? I can tell you as a recipient, no, you need to get in this game. Don't explain because I, you keep saying them mug and people don't understand that's underselling this piece of art.

Can you explain what the mug is? It's one of my favorite things. The way I found out about it is the artist read the book, listened to like 80 of our interviews, and reached out to me coldly, ironically, and said, hey, I want to help you bless your wife. He played my playbook against me. He said, we answer these five questions. I said, I looked him up online. I'm like, he looks like he's 16.

He was in, but that's what he looked at. And I said, sure, I'll play. So I answer the questions. Weak later, he said, hey, that emails me. Gifts ready, can I hand deliver it? I'm like I said, sure I'll play. So I answer the questions. Week later he's out, hey, I think emails me. Gifts ready, can I hand deliver it? I'm like, I want space time. He's using my play, he really is using the playbook. So I'm like, okay, public place,

he looks like he's like 16 country pumpkin kid, carrying this Tupperware container, it looks like there's claw marks on the side. I'm like, is there animals inside? Like this weird, and he pulls out to these thousand hour mugs. Now the reason I'm a thousand bucks is it's literally like somebody's life story. It's like a time life achievement award

of like me on the farm with my dad and my wife on the farm with her dad who passed away cancer and like our kids and our faith and our family. It's like literally like I give in these mugs to mentors and I've given probably 130 of them out personally and almost always tears because the person who gets it is like, every day as I drink my coffee and tea,

they're made to be used by the way. They're made to be functional. They're made to be, if they ever break, the artist will actually remake it for free. It's part of the deal. And but every day for the next 50 years, somebody's good remembers their why and their family and their purpose and they're like,

it's everything that you are in a functional piece of art. And so when I got one, and I gave one to my wife, when I got home late, two hours late that night, she bought, she was like crying, she's like, what, who is this person? And I'm like, I don't know, they drove nine and a half hours for this five minute meeting. And she's like, this is the most thoughtful thing

anybody's ever given us. I was so blown away. By the way, he made two of these 2500-hour vases that were like our whole life story together, my wife and I, and then one that was handwritten 50 lines deep of every Bible verse, Old Testament New Testament that talks about generosity or giving or gifting. So he gave me like seven grand.

So when I showed her my wife, she was blown away, he'd upstand our house that night, and I was like, I wanna work with you. He's like, it's music to my ears. He's like, I'm not in sales or marketing. He's like, it's music to my ears. He's like, I'm not in sales or marketing. He's like, I feel like God's called me to be a gift maker. I just want to do these for people. And so you go to artifactmug.com. You can see some of the other videos and some of the other things that he's done. But he is, when I speak, I'll surprise billionaires in the audience

with these things and people are like staying in a innovationice and balling. That audience is balling. It's like, it's become one of the most valuable, impactful things, whether somebody is doing it for their family and friends or spouse, or doing it in the business world for their clients or partners or employees. It's just one of those things that is about as universal as it gets to drink off your tea. And oh, by the way, the box has the video of the artist talking, and that's part of the secret sauce, is the artist describes why the piece was made that it was

because I don't tell them what to do. The artist just does it. And when somebody sees the artist speak into their life, it's like Scott was like, I don't cry. He's like, I'm getting ulterioride. And I've had other people say, I don't cry ever, but I've never been seen that way. And how often in business do we spend $1,000?

A day later, we don't even think about it. On paper and stupid stuff. But to invest $1,000 and have somebody literally think about you every day, that's one of your most valuable relationships for the next 50 years, is that you can't put a price tag on it. To me, at some point, I could see it being $10,000 because it's literally, is that meaningful and that thoughtful of a thing that it really transcends anything

that I've almost anything that we've ever given. It's so incredibly powerful. And that video, go to my social media, check out the video I'm posting it all week long. I pride. I didn't even see the mug in real life. You just sent me the video and I was crying because I knew how this was going to impact him. And it's just what a beautiful feeling to know you're bringing good into the world. And like you said, that is the long game. That mug's not going to go away. The fact that we reached out

to Scott's wife and she answered the questions all this bit. Everyone came together to be thoughtful and caring to to recognize and like you said, to allow him to be seen. It was just such an incredible experience. John, everybody's going to want to get the book giftology.

Everyone's going to want to reach out to you. How do people get a hold of the book and how do they get a hold of you? Yeah, well, I mean, Amazon is probably the best way to just get a copy even our hardcover as you probably saw like we put 300% more invested into our hardcover because I care how it feels I

how it's aligned I care like there's no dust jacket like all the stuff that I hate about books I've done the opposite even the bookmark that most people would spend five cents on for a paper one yeah ours are a couple dollars made out of steel because it matters, it communicates. And people are like, I still use your bookmark in all my other books. And I'm like, there's, you know, attention to detail, like if you do something quality. So Amazon's the best way to just get the book.

If you want to reach out to me directly at JohnnyGiftologyGroup.com is my email. GiftologyGroup is our main site and then the download of our playbook is giftologysystem.com. So those are the best places. I will link everything in the show notes. John, thank you so much.

I'm so grateful Scott introduced us. I'm so excited to start sending my love bombs and everyone get a hold of John and get giftology. This book is unbelievable and it can completely change your business and the ROI. So make smarter decisions. John, thank you so much. Thank you.

I'm gonna make a move over here. I decided to change that tiny amount. And if I fail out, I couldn't be more excited than more of what you're gonna hear. Start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop to look around once in a while. You can miss it.

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