Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Why You MUST Be Willing To Go For It With Heather! Episode 208
Episode Date: April 13, 2022In This Episode You Will Learn About: Jumping on unexpected opportunities Asking for what you want Taking a chance Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://ove...rcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Sign up for the FREE Power Of Positive Summit  You can always write me your questions at heathermonahan.com and I’ll answer them on the show! Show Notes: Sometimes opportunities come knocking on your door, LITERALLY! All you have to do is open that door and see what happens. It may come to nothing but you will never know if you don’t take a look. There may be massive opportunities that you never even considered, lying in wait for you! Don't buy into thoughts that tell you it isn't worth the effort. Open your eyes, ask for what you want, and take a chance when it is presented! You will be amazed by what happens next. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me,
we are going to chase down our goals.
Overcome adversity and set you up
for better tomorrow.
After no sleep, yeah.
I'm ready for my close time.
Hi, and welcome back.
I'm so glad you're back here with me today.
Okay, a few crazy things going on.
And I want to share this with you to remind you that you never
know what is going to happen later today. You never know what's going to happen tomorrow.
And things can change so dynamically that you have no idea it might be happening behind
the scenes that you just might not be aware of. So let me give you two examples that have hit my world
in the past couple of weeks.
Okay, so I have a team and company
that manages my social media
and has been managing my social media
for almost two years now.
And they came to me as they have branched out.
And now what they're doing is they're doing social media
influence or deals, they're doing podcast sponsorships,
they're doing a lot with podcasting and they have their own podcast network.
And it's been growing and growing and they're getting better and better at it.
So the owner of the company happens to be a friend of mine.
And so she calls me and says, listen, how much money are you making off your show
right now? And I tell her and she says, Oh, whoa, that's low.
She said on average, this is the number that I'm making with the shows I'm doing.
And I thought, oh my God, I mean, 10 times what I'm making.
So I thought, okay, why is that?
And she said, you know, I'm not sure.
But the company that my show is on is a huge platform, thousands and thousands of shows.
This woman has under a hundred, right?
So there's always pros and cons to different things, meaning there's a pro to being with
the largest company in the world, right?
They've got brand recognition.
Maybe they have access to things other people don't, but there's benefits to being with
small companies too, sometimes they care about you.
They know who you are.
They're going to work harder.
They're going to pitch you in ways these large companies aren't gonna do,
because the large companies don't really know you
when they have thousands of shows, right?
So there's pros and cons to both.
But when she explained the dynamic
and gave me the numbers and the projections for my show,
I thought, how can I not do this?
So I said, okay, you've got someone on legal on your team,
right?
She said, of course, I sent her my agreement with my past partner.
And, you know, it said, you have a six month out clause.
And I said, oh, geez, the stinks.
Okay, well, I'll submit the paperwork.
And she said, what, why don't you just reach out to them and ask them?
Just ask, would they be willing to let you out early on your deal?
And I thought, you know what, you're right.
It's not going to hurt.
I did not have high expectations, by the way.
I didn't think they were actually going to let me out.
But I thought, I'll try.
The worse she says is no.
You know, the best is it, maybe she works with me on something.
So I reach out to the woman who I hadn't spoken to in,
you know, over a year,
because I very rarely deal with her.
And I just asked her for a favor.
I said, listen, there's a smaller company
that's really interested in my show. They know me personally because they represent my brand on
social. They know the show because they know me so well. They'll be able to monetize it
at a much higher level. I personally would so appreciate it if you'd work with me on
letting me out of my deal early. And I'd be happy to pay that back anyway. I can't tell
me, do you want me to refer people to you? Do you want me to give you insights on what's happening?
How can I help you in exchange for this? I want you to feel good about it. She came right
back to me and said, listen, if you can go make more money with another partner out there
that we can't deliver on for you, I'm fine with letting you go. And yes, I'd like some
insight on a couple of things, you know, whatever she asked, it was no big deal. It was fine. And it was just so surprising that I never, you
know, just a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking, this is what it is with my podcast. And now
today, my podcast has been running on a different platform with a different representation,
with people who know me personally, who are out pitching and aggressively trying to drive revenue for me.
So there's a huge shift.
And when I first looked at I thought,
it's not possible because I have this contract.
And all it took was asking to be let out.
I had no idea any of this was gonna happen
a couple weeks ago, right?
So really positive stuff happening
that was completely unexpected just because we tried. Okay, that was one. Ready
for number two, this one's crazy. I've lived in my condo for, I think, 16 years. I bought
in 2005. So maybe even longer than that now. Okay, so I bought it the worst time right before
the market crashed. I just figured I'm going to own this place forever, right? I just never even
thought about it. Maybe one day I get a house, get place forever, right? I just never even thought about it.
Maybe one day I get a house, get remarried,
whatever I'll rent this out
or it'll be a rental property, whatever.
I just never thought about it.
Well anyhow, the other night I'm coming home
and my neighbor was in the hall.
I love my next door neighbor.
It's a married couple, super sweet,
very nice people, very helpful to me and my son all the time.
And so she stopped me in the hall. She said, can I speak to you for a minute? I said, yeah,
of course, what's going on? How are you? And she says, I have to share something with you.
We just sold our condo. And I was so sad because, I mean, you know what it's like when you love
your neighbor. And now I'm like, oh gosh, who's going to move in there? This is awful for me.
Of course, I was happy for them,
cause it ends up they're moving to bigger place,
better place, in our same building, but oh, sad for me.
And so I told her that I said, listen, I'm so happy for you.
I said, however, I'm sad for me.
She said, no, we're sad to leave you too.
She said, but I wouldn't be a good neighbor or friend
if I didn't tell you what we sold for.
She said, Heather, I made a lot of money on this.
And I thought, oh my gosh, that's so, I'm so happy for you.
And I didn't want to ask dollar signs, right?
Because I thought, hmm, that's probably a little too personal, not my place to do that.
But, you know, I'm super happy for them.
And she said, do you want me to introduce you to my realtor?
And I thought, oh my gosh, I could never sell and make a profit on my place.
But, you know what? Since she's asking me, it doesn't hurt to take a phone call.
So I said, you know what, not a bad idea.
All right, let's do it.
Yeah, I'll speak to him and just see what's, and she said, no, I'm telling you Heather,
your condos bigger than ours, you'll do really well.
And I thought, okay, well, okay, it doesn't hurt, you know, no harm, no foul.
I'll try it.
Then I forgot about it, of course, right?
And so this is what so serendipitous. I never thought about any of this.
This had never crossed my mind.
Even though I know you're thinking everyone's saying
the real estate markets on fire in Florida,
and why wouldn't you at least look into it.
I just wasn't on my radar.
I had bigger fish to fry, you know,
making sure my son's doing okay with school
and finishing school up and figuring out
what I'm gonna do with them for the summer
and driving my revenues, growing my podcast,
working on my speaking business,
working on doing all the things I do.
And she got my attention.
And so I said, okay, I'm gonna take the call.
And so then I forgot about it yet again,
and a day passes.
And the next night I got home,
there was a taped note on my door and it was from her.
And it said, hey, remember I told you you you really need to speak to this guy.
I'm telling you, I think this is going to be a win for you.
Here's his cell, send him a text.
He knows you're going to call and just see what he'll, what his thoughts are.
Can't hurt.
So I was so grateful she did that yet again, giving me a little nudge.
And so I walked in the door.
It was like nine o'clock at night and I texted the guy immediately.
It just said, Hey, you just sold my neighbors condo.
I just wanted to see what you think about mine.
The next day he called me and came to my home literally the next day
because he wanted to see it and said, listen, I can sell this thing.
I can sell this thing fast.
I sold your neighbors in seven days.
He said, and I had four different buyers that
wanted their apartment, but they missed out because they didn't bid quick enough. So I
still have four people interested in something very similar to yours. He said, we can sell
this thing fast and we can sell it for more than you bought it for.
My jaw almost hit the ground because I just had an anticipated how strong the market was right
now, how hot my building is right now.
And I actually really never thought about leaving here, right?
It just like had never crossed my mind.
You know, it's something that you just hadn't thought about yet.
It fell into my lap.
And it would just all I had to do was make the call.
And so now it's funny.
They said to me that he is a realtor team, him and a woman.
And they said, get rid of everything and anything you can from your home,
which by the way, doing a purge in your home
is the best thing ever.
I'm so bummed I didn't do this two years ago.
Just in the past 24 hours, I've thrown out so much stuff
that was not needed.
I gave away so much stuff to the ballet and my building
that from when my son was young,
that I did not need to hold on to,
and I have so much more space and just clarity and cleanliness if I house right now that I
love it even more.
And so I decided to start being super grateful for living here, super grateful for my view
I live right on the water because I'm pretty sure that you know once I do sell this I'm
not going to be able to get something because I'm going to rent because right now it's not
the ideal time to buy in Miami. I'll wait till prices come down again, but I'm going to rent
something and it's really going to be a bit expensive, obviously, but this is certainly the time
to sell, especially because I bought in O5. So I want to capitalize on this opportunity, plus I had
another issue, which I don't know if I've shared with you. My son is spending almost two hours a day on buses and in cars going back and forth
to school, which is ridiculous.
Right?
It's insane.
And if there's a way that I can actually move us closer to his school, that will save
him time, him stress, essentially saves me time, and me stress, and makes everybody's
life so much better.
So, I'm not sure exactly we haven't sold it,
we haven't even listed it yet, we're going to be doing that in the next couple of days. So I
don't even know what we'll end up getting for an offer or you know how quickly it will sell,
but based off with the Realtor saying it's going to happen really fast and then I'll need to find
something you know where we can move. So I've already been online looking and it's just it's so
surreal because a week ago
This was not even on my radar and right now it's consuming my life
I literally spent if I wasn't on a conference call or a meeting
I was cleaning and purging this house trying to get everything ready so that it's in shape to be sold immediately
So never underestimate the possibility of today and tomorrow
Just don't think that you've got it all planned out
because I've just realized in the past two weeks alone,
major change is happening to my business and to my life.
Right?
That I've lived here for so long and taking this view for granted.
Don't take what you have for granted
because I'm sitting here looking out the window right now,
knowing there's a very good chance
I'm not going to be on the ocean anymore.
And I'm so grateful that I've had every day here that I've had.
And I'm just, I'm so grateful for what I've had,
but I'm so excited about what I'm going to.
Right? Not knowing that unknown is really that opportunity to live an excitement
and to make things better for my son with school,
and maybe find a place that's larger,
maybe we won't be in a building next to,
I don't know, right, I have no idea
all the possibilities out there.
So just don't diminish what crazy, great opportunity
can fall into your lap if you're willing to jump on it
and run with it, which I hope you are.
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So for those of you who don't know me, I was reminded this the other
day on social
media and I did a post about it, so I'm going to actually share it with you.
There's new people coming in to the show and listen to the show all the time, so I just
want to share a little bit of background for anyone that might not know the story.
And for those of you that do, I'll add some new things to it so that you can get some
new value, hopefully.
But my whole background was really in growing up in Western Massachusetts
and starting working when I was like 10 years old
out of paper root and then busing tables
and then working in fast food restaurants
and then waitressing restaurants
and then bartending and ultimately developing
all these skills that helped me to excel in sales,
right, dealing with people, which was great.
And going to college and graduating,
I got right into sales.
I went to work for the Gala Winery.
I was the youngest brand manager in the country.
And then I got sexually harassed by my boss,
who was a real jerk, by the way.
And back then, people didn't really talk
about sexual harassment.
And it was, I was embarrassed that it happened to me. I remember I had kept a journal, PS, if you're not keeping a journal start now.
It's so helpful and powerful and insightful into who you are and helped me in this way.
I had kept a journal and when it came time for me to quit, I called a meeting with the
owner.
I wanted him to know and I gave him my journal because I so wanted that man fired
because he
was such a bad guy and hurt me. I was like 21 years old, right? Or 22 years old or something
so ridiculous and had no idea and he treated me horrible. And I had documented everything.
And I didn't want to sue them or because I was afraid it would leave the stigma with
me that I'm like a lawsuit happy person or a problem employee.
And so, sadly, you know, I didn't have the courage or confidence to stand up for myself.
I gave my journal to the owner because I wanted him to know this guy's a bad, bad guy,
fire him. So it doesn't happen to someone else. He didn't, by the way. And years later,
he ended up firing him for other reasons. I'm sure that's because that tiger or leopard
didn't change his spots.
Anyhow, so I left there and I went to work
for a radio company, a local radio company,
and with their Massachusetts,
had no idea what I was doing.
It's funny selling radio advertisements
because you can't touch it, you can't feel it,
you can't see it, it's a tough sell.
Might as well jump into sales with something completely not tangible. And I't see it. It's a tough sell. Right? So, might as well jump into sales with something
completely not tangible. And I started figuring it out. I started doing really, really well.
And I got really closely on her. He's such a good guy and not a dirt bag, a great human being
and supporter of mine. And he was coaching me and training me. And I was making him a ton of money.
And then my boyfriend cheated on me. That, right, that was a bummer moment,
and I lost my mind.
I was like coming off the rails.
I thought I was gonna marry him.
I lived with him for years.
And so I went to work a disaster,
and my boss looked at me and said,
what the heck happened to you?
And I explained everything to him, and he said,
okay, I want you to get on a plane with me., I want you to get on a plane with me,
but I want you to get on this plane for one reason
and one reason only to make a lot, a lot of money
and make you a really successful young lady on your own,
on your merit, on who you are and develop a name for yourself
and a massive bank account.
What do you think?
And I said, yes.
He wouldn't tell me where we were going,
but all I knew, it's
so funny now when I look back at this because these dark moments have these silver linings,
I would have never taken that opportunity if that man hadn't cheated on me. Right. So
all these awful things had to happen to propel me to say, I'm willing to make the leap.
I want something different. I want to move away. I would have never done that. Well doing that was crazy.
He dropped me off in Saginaw, Michigan, which is literally in the middle of nowhere, but
I was so focused on my goal, which was we bought a company for $25 million.
I was his equity partner and my job was to accelerate revenues as fast as I could so
we could sell it as quickly as possible.
Well, clearly I wanted to get out of Sagan,
I'm Michigan, I had no reason to be there
other than to make us money.
I worked seven days a week, 20 hours a day.
I mean, literally, I probably slept a couple of hours
a night because I wanted to sell that thing so fast.
And in under three years, we sold that thing for $55 million,
a $30 million profit, making me a lot of money,
clearly not as much as my partner.
But at that age, you know, it was more money
than I ever thought I was going to make.
And really landed me on the map of this revenue generator
and media people heard about what I had done
and I had this credibility all of a sudden.
So I just hope you noticed that right.
I came from nothing and I had this credibility all of a sudden. So I just hope you noticed that, right? I came from nothing and I taught myself sales
from hustling in paper routes and bar tending
and then that landed me in a really bad opportunity
which then landed me in radio
which then when my boyfriend cheated on me
gave me the opportunity,
we'll call it to jump on a plane and go for something more.
And so sometimes in your life you could be going through a really low moment, hard time.
You might not see it yet because you can't see the dots connect until you look back,
but right now could be your moment that you could be jumping on that plane, right?
You could be opening that door, that massive opportunity.
You've just got to be willing to go for it.
So I'm so glad I did. And then from there, I'll never forget my old boss said to me,
well, what are you gonna do?
Or you're gonna take like a year off and go to Europe?
And I said, what are you crazy?
No, I'm gonna go back to work.
I need to work.
I never thought back then the idea of vacation
and take it easy.
I thought, climb the ladder, like push yourself,
go while you can, you're young, you know,
things are working, you're killing it, go, go.
I was so driven, which is so funny right now,
if I had done a huge deal and netted my partners
and myself millions of dollars, I'd be like,
yeah, I'm taking a year off, let's vacation.
So different, being 47 versus 27.
Okay, so from there, I jumped on a plane,
I flew to Florida, Naples, and I pitched myself
to this big, much bigger company, a publicly traded company, a job that didn't exist, which
was VP of sales of their company. And they said, you know, why don't we give you a job
here locally first as a director of sales? So basically I took a much smaller job than
what I had just been doing for my old partner. And I did it because I knew I needed to build trust and credibility within the organization.
I knew I could do that quickly because I could get results.
You need to develop that report, develop that trust.
Really quickly, within a few months,
I accelerated revenues in the small market I was in.
Remember, I took a big step back and pay,
a big step back entitled to do this,
but I knew if I could
get their trust that I could leapfrog everyone and go to the next level quick.
I was right.
So, anyway, so then I met with the president of the company and I said, listen, here's
a thing.
You've got a huge missed opportunity.
I put myself in his shoes.
I'm like, I can make this company blow up from a revenue standpoint by a couple of different
tactics that I can deploy that I just did in Saginaw Mission.
I can do it here for the company.
I've got a proven track record of success.
You've seen what I can do in your small market in a very short window of time.
Extrapolate that across the entire organization.
We're talking hundreds of millions of dollars.
I can make you look like a rock star.
It won't take any further work from you.
You know how much I respect you,
we'll communicate with you and support you.
There's nothing here, but rainbows and lollipops,
like let's do it.
He said no, turns out he needed his father's permission,
which I did not know, and I didn't find that out
until I went to resign to him.
Right, because back then I didn't have kids
and I hadn't bought a home there yet, I was just renting renting and I thought if these people aren't gonna give me this opportunity
They're crazy. I'll go find a bigger job somewhere else
So I did and I called him to meet him for lunch and I just said listen if you're not gonna give me that role
I just want to let you know I'm accepting a big job in Boston and that's when he ran out called his dad
Got the approval for me to take on VP of sales and that's when he ran out called his dad, got the approval for me to take on VP of sales,
and that's when I learned, never ask someone
who can only give you a no, never ask them for a yes,
because you'll be in a really bad situation.
So I was asking someone to give me a yes,
but he never had the high sign to do it, right?
The right person for me to ask would have been his father,
but I was asking the wrong person and I was completely unaware and I never want that for you. So
always qualify if somebody actually can sign off on something or if they need somebody else's
permission before you ask, because I was basically wasting my time. Okay, so he gets his dad on board,
his dad says yes, they give me the position or promote me to this new title of VPS sales
I get promoted three more times become the chief revenue officer
During my tenure there we were building a hundred million annually the year I took over and then whatever it was a decade later
We were doing hundreds of millions annually. You know that we were killing it our stock had jumped up huge
I was named one of the most influential women in radio
and then three weeks later, the CEO I had worked for
for 14 years became ill and he elevated his daughter
to replace him and she was my arch nemesis,
my enemy number one and she fired me immediately.
You know, in that whole moment was so irshattering.
I look back now, it's a little over four years ago,
and I can see it so differently.
Because like with anything, any hard moment
you're gonna have in your life.
Yeah, it sucks in the moment.
No one likes it.
I didn't like getting fired.
It was awful.
But when I look back at it, I see why it had to happen.
I had outgrown the position in the company I was in.
And when you're shrinking yourself
to fit in somewhere you've already outgrown,
you're not living to your potential.
You're not living your best life.
And you're not making the world a better place
to the way and level that you could.
And so that day sucked, but I look back
and I know it was a complete and total gift
that set me on a totally different trajectory and path
that has led me to figure out my purpose,
my bigger picture mission and life
and really start stepping into my potential in ways
I never considered doing before.
Here's a great example of that.
If you haven't found your purpose or mission yet,
this is so for you because years ago,
I was speaking, I was headlining
at a national association of broadcasters event. Thousands of people were in attendance and I was speaking. Part
of my job back then was on behalf of the company, I would travel a lot of different places,
client events, association events, my own company events, and I would give keynote speeches.
It was part of my job. I didn't get paid for it, it was just expected as executive of the
company, you need to do this. And so I didn't know about the it, it was just expected as executive of the company, you need to do this.
And so I didn't know about the speaking business.
I just was a good speaker because I spoke all of the time for 20-something years.
And I knew what I was talking about.
And I had put the reps in, right?
I had done a lot of speeches.
So I gave the speech at the National Association of Broadcasters in Texas.
I think it was Austin, Texas.
This is probably gosh, I don't know eight years ago. And this is back when I was still
incorporate. And people went wild. They were screaming going crazy.
When I got off the stage, everyone was rushing me. And I remember that moment,
I felt like magic. I remember thinking like, gosh, I wish this could be my job every day. This is pure magic.
It's so fine. And I'm really good at it.
So if you ever have that moment in your life
that just feels like magic,
but then you shake your head and say,
well, there's no money here and I can't pay my bills.
But this is crazy.
Don't do that.
That's what I did.
For years, I walked away from that idea of this magic
and I went back to work.
And that's not the answer.
The answer was what I should have done,
I should have started googling speaking business.
Is there a speaking business?
Can anyone, how could I ever make money speaking?
I should have started talking to people
and trying to figure out and really put it out to the universe.
And this is what I wanna do.
Don't know how it can work,
but I need to start asking questions
and having conversations and opening doors.
And I didn't do that.
However, as you probably know by now, you know, I get fired.
I put a post up on social media and it said,
I've just been fired.
If I've ever helped you in any way, I need to hear from you now.
And people told me to take that post down.
They said, I look so pathetic.
And I listened to the one voice in opinion that matters.
And that is your own.
And my voice was telling me and my opinion was telling me, I don't look pathetic.
I didn't do anything bad that lady just didn't like me.
I don't feel embarrassed about it and then I googled, has anyone successful ever been fired?
Turns out Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, JK Rowling, Mark Cuban, the list goes on and on. Heather Madden had, yes,
in good company, I decided to reframe it. I have not been rejected, I have been redirected
to something so much bigger and so much better for me. So I rocked that post and that post
landed me on the Elvis Durant show and halfway halfway through that interview, he says to me,
well, obviously you're writing a book, but I wasn't.
I had always thought of myself as the social one,
you know, the sales one, and you had to stay
in that sales lane.
And it was that moment that man spoke of belief
and a truth and a conviction into me
that I decided to grab that truth and conviction
and run with it.
So if you ever have something to say to someone
if you ever have a feeling or calling that you want to say something speak that truth into them, you can truly change
the trajectory of their lives and he did that day for me. I'm so grateful for that. I jumped on a plane, I Googled,
how do you write a book? I said, just start writing. So I started writing. And within a few months, I said,
I've got to go bigger. I need to find someone who has done this before. I hired an editor. I invested in myself. And we brought that book,
Confidence Creator to life in May of 2018, only months after I had been fired. And that book
went number one on Amazon and Trump, Donald Trump, who was then president for number one on the
business biography list. And yes, I have a screenshot to prove that one.
Super proud.
Okay, so from there I googled how to sell books,
and it said, speak.
I thought, oh my gosh, great, I'm so good at speaking.
And then I went down the rabbit hole
of cold calling companies and saying,
hey, I'll come in and speak if you buy my books.
And then one day someone said, what's your speaker fee?
And I googled speaker fees. And I realized Gary someone said, what's your speaker fee? And I Google speaker fees.
And I realized Gary Vaynerchuk was getting $350,000 a speech back then in 2018. And that's
when I said, wait a minute, there is a speaker business. How did I not know this? And I just
went all in on speaking. And I got hired to interview Sarah Blakely live on stage at a sales
and marketing conference in Boston in 2019.
And I gave my TEDx talk and my speaking business took off until the pandemic hit.
And then it disappeared overnight.
And again, it's like one of those things in the moment.
It sucks.
Everything sucks when the hard times come.
But when you look back, I see even though I hate to say it was actually a blessing in
disguise, right?
Getting thrown into that pandemic and losing my speaking business forced me to launch
a consulting and coaching business, which landed me on the board of directors of Health
Length.
I wouldn't have my board seat if it wasn't from my consulting and coaching program.
So one of the people that hired me was the CFO of Health Length.
And we developed a rapport and relationship over the pandemic.
And he believed in me so much that he pulled the CEO into meet me and said, she's got
to join our board.
She's amazing.
And I have been pitching myself for a board for over a decade at the company that fired
me.
And here's what I've learned.
When you're sitting at a table surrounded with people that don't actually want you there,
there's nothing wrong with you.
You're in the wrong room.
Get up from that table, leave that room,
and go find a room where people want you at the table.
And that's exactly what happened for me during COVID
is I found that table.
And those people love me.
And they cheer me on when I walk in the door.
And our last board meeting, I had to do it.
Virtually my son was on spring break.
And they were so bummed out.
I wasn't there, right?
It's just so funny to, I'm finally
with the right people.
And that's what I want for you.
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Hey, it's me, Food!
If I know one thing, it's freshness.
Go to Randalls.
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They know fresh.
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OK, so then the pandemic is when I wrote and published
with Harpercons leadership, overcome your villains,
right?
It gave me the time to finish my book project
and launch my book.
And, you know, a lot of great things happened.
Was it easy?
No, my son was on virtual school.
I became Zoom School lunch lady, which was pure hell.
And I'm an extrovert.
I like to be in front of people,
not sitting at home all day.
Listen, there's been a lot of tough moments
living in a building during COVID,
was a not so great moment,
but there's been a lot of things
that have been really positive because of it.
And the bigger picture takeaway I have from it
was my whole life, I try to muscle everything.
Like I try to just get out and out work everybody
and like I literally physically make things happen
and it's worked, right?
I keep finding success that way, but it's really hard.
The pandemic,
I couldn't do that. I couldn't get out of my house and like stroll up to people and make things
happen. And I had to be at peace and sit at home and it was really, really hard for me. So I had to
say, there's got to be a better way. Maybe there's a way for me to start receiving abundance and
receiving opportunities instead of forcing them. And I've started leaning into this whole forgiving people from my past,
forgiving myself, being open to great things just coming to me and accepting
and look at what's been happening even just the past couple of weeks, right?
It's a huge mind shift.
And I'm starting to learn that such a late time in life,
there's a couple of important elements to success.
The most important one, in my opinion, is your mindset. How you sing, what you believe, what you feel.
The second thing is your tactics, your strategies, your experiences, your expertise,
the things you've learned along the way and how you can leverage and apply those things
to advance faster than competitors or innovative in different ways.
So there is the traditional business acumen way,
which can be built through school,
through experience, through work, through whatever.
But the big way, the most important way
is really the mentality that you're bringing to it,
your belief systems.
Right? If you're living in fear and freezing,
or if you're living in the possibility
and hope and moving forward,
and if you're willing to attract things to you and receive them,
or if you believe you only can get it,
if you white knuckle everything and scrape and scrape by.
So I really changed the way that I think and believe
in a profound way in the last two years.
And I'm starting to see miracles.
I think it's a miracle that that neighbor came up to me and told me to sell my house. I think it's a miracle that that neighbor came up to me
and told me to sell my house.
I think it's a miracle that the lady
let me out of my car.
These aren't things I had to fight in white knuckle.
They were asks and responding.
And that's what I want for you.
Success doesn't have to be white knuckling all the time.
Granted, there will be moments when it is gonna be, right?
So it isn't just all butterflies and rainbows,
but there are a lot more butterflies and rainbows than I realized.
I was just so focused on white knuckling them. So no more white knuckling. Let's let go and
embrace the possibility of things coming to us and start watching it happen for you because it is happening for me,
and I know it can happen for you. I am sure of that. And if you haven't heard
the Kathy Heller episode was a couple of weeks ago, go back and listen to it. She's so living
the dream and the stuff in her podcast. I mean, she's got millions of downloads. I mean,
she's killing it financially in every way, right? She's living her best life. She's where
I want to be. And she's all about receiving. She's not about white knuckling, and she's about allowing. And it's just, again, I'm not probably ever going
to be never white knuckling, because I do like to get out and like, make things happen
and take massive action and go for it. That's just who I am. But I'm getting so much better
of balancing out both sides. And the more I do that, the more opportunity comes to me.
That's what I want for you to. It's just to embrace that, right? I'm not saying traditional business
and traditional business models don't make sense
and have massive value.
Of course they do.
But what I'm finding in the weirdest way
is the biggest hole back I had was my belief system
and the way that I saw things
and with the way that I thought things had to be.
They didn't have to be that way.
So I've sort of unlocked this massive opportunity right now
and really just in the past year, year and a half
and it's been really powerful.
So I hope that provides you some insight.
I hope that helps you in some way.
Okay, so I was like a little high level
of who your girl Heather is.
Okay, so I got a question I wanna answer this one
before I leave you today.
This is from Facebook DM someone sent me.
So I was talking out loud to myself
and brainstorming this morning.
One question came across my mind,
I'm not sure how to solve, so I thought I'd ask you.
I have a habit of being a people pleaser
and giving others the power of situations.
I am currently trying to break that habit,
but have created a reputation for allowing others
to know they possess that power.
How do I put down my foot and make known to those people that they will
no longer have that power? Okay, so there's a lot of people with these issues, right? And I remember
for me, even in corporate America, with that nasty villain I dealt with, there were times I would
shrink myself and, you know, I would not speak up when I wanted to, right, I would not be living my
best strongest, most powerful life because I had fear of getting fired
or fear of what would that lash back would look like.
First thing, anytime you have a goal,
you wanna write it down.
You're 90% more likely to achieve something
if you write it down and revisit it daily.
That's fact.
That's just getting clear on what you're gonna.
If you wanna lose five pounds,
you're writing down your goal weight,
you're weighing yourself every day to check in.
You gotta do the same thing here. So you need to journal, you need to write down down your goal weight, you're weighing yourself every day to check in. You're going to do the same thing here.
So you need to journal, you need to write down what your goal is.
You're going to write down.
I am the most powerful version of myself.
I speak my mind and feel at ease doing so.
I am so proud of how I stand up for myself and create healthy boundaries that respect
me and those around me.
I surround myself with people that encourage me,
cheer me on and respect me too.
Something like that.
So just write down what your goals are.
Get a vision of what that looks like.
And if you haven't ever been that person in your life,
take a picture of whoever you think is that person
or whoever you know in your life
that does represent them that way.
There's someone, right?
Get that visual and put it somewhere in your home
on your computer, because I want you to be thinking
of it all the time.
And you can channel that other person, right?
Going into these situations, I get it to this point,
people think that you're just gonna
yes them and do whatever they want.
But that's changed now.
Now we have this new vision for ourselves.
That was yesterday, today's different, which is fine.
People shave their head and cut their hair off and that's fine too, right?
You can make different choices. That's your choice. And so today you show up and you are full of boundaries and self-respect and
confidence. How about that? Right? So you're stepping into that meeting that situation as this new version 2.0.
Now you're clear on channeling that other persona,
because it's fine to do that
until you step into it full yourself,
Beyonce channels Sasha Fierce when she goes on stage.
I've channeled so many different people
in difficult meetings and getting on stages
until I was able to channel just me, right?
But it's fine during this learning period to do that.
It's fine to practice at home too, by the way, right?
That's something else I've done. I'd write a script out.
Okay, they're going to ask me if I can take another work trip tomorrow. How am I going to respond? I'm going to say,
thank you so much for thinking of me. However, my plates full right now,
who do you think would be a better person to take that flight and make that trip on our behalf?
Right. So you want to always stay calm. Calm is a superpower. Brevity is a superpower.
You want to keep it brief.
You don't need to apologize.
You don't need to explain.
You don't need to go off on some tangent.
Nobody needs that.
We need to be concise and powerful in our word choices.
And you're going to make mistakes.
And that's okay, too.
And when you do make those mistakes,
think of your child or think of a loved one.
I always think of my son when I make a big mistake. I think, how would you speak to your son about this other? I wouldn't
say, you idiot. Why did you do that? You blew it. Oh my gosh. I would not do that. I would
instead say something like, today is a new day. And today we can make better choices and
better choices are going to deliver us better outcomes. I can't wait to see how you do
it today. Excited for you. I believe't wait to see how you do it today.
Excited for you, I believe in you.
Right, so be your own number one cheerleader
and speak to yourself in a kind and loving way.
Give yourself some grace.
You're building this version 2.0 of you
and Rome's not built in a day, right?
We're gonna have some ups and downs.
But if we keep the path, if we have the faith,
if we keep the vision and we do the work,
oh, those results are so good.
One of my coach and clients right now is going through this.
I've been working with her for four weeks.
The change I have seen in this woman is shocking.
Nothing less than shocking.
She listens to the show, so I'm so excited.
She's probably in here right now.
But it's so shocking.
Not only is she putting up boundaries at work,
not fighting with people staying calm, staying in her power, not justifying, apologizing,
explaining herself, but staying calm and letting them know what's not going to work.
And when people say, well, you used to do it, I understand. And at that point in time,
I could handle that and that worked for me. At this point in time, that doesn't align with my priorities.
PS, your free time is your free time, right?
You don't ever need to justify that to someone else who's saying you need to work at night,
and on the weekends, that's people trying to take advantage of you.
When you create healthy boundaries for yourself, the only people that get mad are the jerks
that were taking advantage of your black boundaries, right?
So start to realize that.
And think to yourself, do they treat so-and-so that way?
No, they don't treat that guy like that at all. No, do they treat so and so that way?
No, they don't treat that guy like that at all.
No, they would never.
He's got really strong boundaries, super confident.
They would never talk to him like that.
Well, then start channeling that guy when you show up
until you can start stepping into your own power.
So I've seen it happen so many times.
I've done it myself.
I've been through it myself.
It is possible.
You need to believe it first.
You need to write it down.
You need to have that vision. You need to believe it first. You need to write it down. You need to have that vision.
You need to hold your vision.
You need to practice.
You need to give yourself grace
when you make mistakes and fumble backwards.
And you need to pick yourself right back up
and re-engage again.
And hold that vision of who you know
you have the potential to be
and you will become that person.
So I can't wait to hear from you.
Let me know any questions you have for the show. I would love to answer them. Know that I do believe in you. I'm grateful for you. And I'm so hopeful
that you like this episode. If you did share it on social media, when you tag me, you will win either
my audio book for Confidence Creator or for overcome your villains. That's
right. Share this show today and you will win the audio book for confidence creator or
overcome your villains. You get to choose. I'm letting you pick so grateful for you, so
grateful for you being here today. Please share the show. I can't wait to hear what you think
of my books. I love them
and the reviews are off the charts. All right, until next week, keep creating your confidence. You
know I will be. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.
I'm Halataha, CEO of the award-winning Digital Media Empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young
and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement
podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit.
On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn
their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life.
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There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast.
And that's on purpose.
Every episode is jam-packed with advice
that's gonna push your life forward.
I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which
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Young and profiting podcast is for all ages.
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As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young.
So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young Your Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam on Apple Spotify
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