Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Your FAITH Is Stronger Than Your FEAR! with Heather! Episode 256

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Trusting in the universe Creating space for new joys and opportunities Letting God work in your life Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! O...rder here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  You must be DYING to know what happened when I went to LA to film Dr. Phil! What a whirlwind! Going to LA has proven to me what magic happens when you surrender to the universe. Gifts come flowing to you when you make space for them! Plant a seed and watch it grow! You will be amazed when you let go of the white knuckles and trust that God is working in your life. Serendipitous opportunities and unfathomable chain of events will create opportunities you’d never dream of! I know they did for me and they WILL for you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:46 Okay, so if you are a regular podcast listener, you know what was going on last week. If you're new to the show, by the way, hi, I'm Heather. I would love it if you would go back and listen to the last few episodes so that you can get caught up. I have to start with what's really important. Okay, so I just got out of church. I'm obsessed with my church. It's voo church in Miami. You can check it out online, v-o-u-s. We have the most incredible pastors,
Starting point is 00:01:17 the most incredible worship team. I mean, literally I'm in the best mood every time I walk out of there. It's incredible. No matter what's going on, PS, there is a lot going on, and I am on very little sleep right now. I am full-blown exhausted,
Starting point is 00:01:32 existing on Celsius and coffee, really impressive. As soon as I record this show, then I'm heading out to give a talk at a book signing, and I'm super excited for my day, all because of this church and just speaking life into me, speaking joy into me and speaking God's words. So I don't know if you're a fan of church, check it out online, v-o-u-s-boo-church.com.
Starting point is 00:01:57 It's incredible. Okay, so the message this morning at church, and my son and I went to an early mass because I had a lot of stuff going on today. But here's a message and I'm going to share with you. I hope that it hits you in the same way that it hit me or in a similar way that was really powerful. So the message today was all about just reminding ourselves that we need that we forget so much, right? Whether it be you go to a lecture to learn something within 24 hours, you've already forgotten half of what you heard, right?
Starting point is 00:02:30 Within three days, you've lost 70% of what you had heard. You're only retaining 30% of the information. We have so many messages that are hitting us, you know, billboards, audio ads, you know, television, paper, print, internet, ba! Social media, there's ads and messaging everywhere. And we don't control all of it, right? The majority of it we don't control.
Starting point is 00:02:54 So we need to be really intentional about the things that we do focus on, the messaging that we repeat and replay often, and realize we're not going to retain all of it. So if we want to retain something, we've got to go back and revisit things. And a great way to do that is to put reminders in your calendar, to put reminders, to go to church every Sunday, right? Remind yourself how great you feel after. Remind yourself to work out every day. Whatever these things are that are important to you.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Put reminders in your calendar. Put reminders around your house. I have reminders everywhere. Literally, I have reminders, I have books that are just all about positive affirmations and reminders. I have candles that have reminders on them, reminding me that I'm special and that I'm loved and I have picture frames with amazing messaging and reminders. So I'm a big believer in frequency cells, that which we see often, that which we expose ourselves to information often, we have a better chance to retain that information and remember it, right? And so our pastor today was just talking about, we need that reminder that God is good in our life. God is real and God is with you always. And that's the reminder it was our seven-year birthday. I have not been going to the church that long. This is my first year going to
Starting point is 00:04:11 this church, but they've been in existence for seven years. And he was taking everyone through how eight years ago before the church was formed, he and his wife were praying to God to help them find somewhere that they could preach, find somewhere that they could share God's word, and they stumbled upon a school, and that school has now transformed into a church every Sunday, and many other days of the week, with thousands and thousands of people attending, and it's incredible what has happened as a result of that vision that they had, as a result of turning it over to God, as a result of asking God to show them the way. And now when you are in this school and with this community of people, it's, it's pure magic.
Starting point is 00:05:02 It's got at work. And it's just been such an incredible experience. So I hope you find some community like that. I hope you find a church like that. If not, check out Food Church Online. Okay, so his whole message today was put reminders everywhere, realize that you are not going to retain information that you think you will.
Starting point is 00:05:19 And if you want to retain it, keep exposing yourself to that information, right? You don't just go to church on Sunday, you can pray to God every day, you can read God's Word in the Bible. In so many different works, you know, but make the choice to expose yourself to the information you want to retain because we are exposed to so much that we aren't choosing. Let's be intentional about the really good, important stuff, so we can bring that messaging and that joy and that word with us everywhere we go.
Starting point is 00:05:49 It's just gonna make your life so much brighter. It certainly has for me. Okay, so here was his follow-up message to that. And this was his closing today was faith. Your faith has got to be greater than your fear. This was number one. And if you've been with me for a while, if you've read my book Overcome Your Villains,
Starting point is 00:06:08 you know that I like to reframe fear as a green light that means go. And what I mean by that is, when I was a little kid, if I felt scared, I'd run home and hide, go under my bed, and just hide and pray whatever scary thing would go away. Right? I was not equipped to handle hard things. Now, as a 48-year-old adult,
Starting point is 00:06:28 I am so equipped to handle big challenging things. You know, that's what life is all about. That's what facing challenges is all about creating resilience, creating that knowing inside of you of what capacity you have to handle challenging things and take them head on and overcome them. It's a really powerful feeling. So now in my life, I choose to see fear as a green light that means go run into it, run
Starting point is 00:06:56 through it and overcome it, don't back off from it. But I loved our pastor's word this morning about having faith bigger than fear. And it really got me thinking that if I had approached fear that way, my whole life, instead of focusing on the fear, instead flipping to my faith and realizing that my faith is so much bigger than my fear and always has been and always will be, that overcomes the fear immediately. So asking you to choose your faith over your fear every day for sure. Then he went on to say number two, trust over explanation. And for me, I don't
Starting point is 00:07:32 know about you, but trusting was a hard thing. Right. If you had a challenging upbringing or you had personal relationships in your life where people broke your trust, right? Those wounds leave scars and sometimes we get triggered by those scars and we have issues trusting people. I certainly have had issues trusting and letting new people into my life, you know, for many of those reasons from challenges, you know, early on in my childhood and losing trust in people. But I loved his message today. You can always trust in God. God is forever faithful. And having that knowing and that trust in God is so comforting and so powerful.
Starting point is 00:08:18 And, PS, the more that you rely on that, the more your energy is going to be at that same level of good and bringing those right people. You can trust into your life and asking God to bring those people to you. I ask every day, God, please close the doors on that, which is not meant for me, and on that, which is no longer meant for me, and please open the doors to that, which is. And, you know, always asking for those signs to show me the way. And I truly believe I saw it in motion this week. So many times this week, it's crazy. I can't wait to share with you what happened. But these really serendipitous moments in my life where I know it's God
Starting point is 00:08:56 at work. I know it's God attracting those right people to me, those right opportunities, and those blessings. And I just want I want that for you too. Okay, so that was number two. Trust over explanation. And number three, this is a big one for me. Surrender over strength. Here's how I think of that. Surrender sounded crazy to me, by the way, before a year ago, I just, the idea of surrendering what? That sounds like giving up. Like, no way. That's the antithesis of who I am. I'm such a hard worker. I make things happen. I create.
Starting point is 00:09:29 I get out there and white knuckle everything to make it come to fruition, whatever it is I want. What I've learned is, yes, you need to work hard. Yes, you've got to put yourself out there and take chances and go for big things. But the real power is in the surrender and allowing things to come to you and receiving these amazing blessings and gifts. And this is a whole new way of thinking for me.
Starting point is 00:09:53 And because like our pastor was saying this morning, it's important that you remind yourself of the things you want to remember and expose yourself often to the messaging that you want to remember and expose yourself often to the messaging that you want to remember. I've been reading two different surrender statements daily. I make myself read them every morning when I wake up because surrendering is something that I'm having to practice at. It's not coming natural to me, right? Some things come natural to us.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Some things do not. Obviously, for everyone has different issues, challenges, opportunities. But for me, Surrender has not been the easiest because I have white knuckled and created and forced things so much in my life that I thought that was the only way that to look at the complete opposite way of allowing and surrendering seemed really strange. So I keep exposing myself to the information. It's getting better. I'm definitely not there yet. But with frequency and reading these messages daily, it's definitely helping me to understand
Starting point is 00:10:54 this is something I'm getting better at. I'm going to continue to grow and I'm going to continue to expose myself to this information until it becomes second nature. Okay, so here's two surrender statements that I read on the daily. Universal mind within me, I forgive my worries, my anxieties and my small-minded concerns, and I give them to you. I trust that you have the mind to resolve them much better than I could.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Arrange the players in my world so that doors open for me. In eight intelligence, I release my suffering and myself pity to you. I have mismanaged my inner thoughts and actions for long enough for sure. I allow you to intervene and provide a greater life in a way that is just right for me. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time at power station North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises
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Starting point is 00:14:03 NetSuite.com slash monahan to NetSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash monahan. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify simplifies selling online and in person, so you can focus on successfully growing your business.
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Starting point is 00:15:29 to take your business to the next level today. shopify.com slash monahen. What I just read to you comes from the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, How to Lose Your Mind and Create A New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I'm obsessed with Dr. Joe, by the way. Yes, I'm obsessed with my pastor too.
Starting point is 00:15:47 I'm obsessed with a lot of things, okay? I love life and there's a lot to love in life, but this book is incredible. If you don't know Dr. Joe, check him out online on YouTube. He's got amazing content. He helps people to rewire their brains, think differently, and I'm just gonna to attest to his work has impacted me in a profound way, a very positive way. I know that different people and different messaging
Starting point is 00:16:13 and different frequencies connect and relate to people in different ways. I'm just sharing someone who whose work has really helped support me on my journey to evolving into the best version of myself. But this whole concept around surrender, he's a whole chapter, it's chapter 11 in the book, which really digs into surrender. And what's so interesting is how much it aligns with the messaging at church that I'm exposed to every week, right? So through different people, through a different lens, through different ways, but really the same very similar conversation, very similar teachings to me ultimately, and it's been super helpful to see the different sides of it.
Starting point is 00:16:53 So this whole concept of surrender, it's been new. I've been knee deep in this surrender now for a few months, and I will tell you, my life is profoundly different. And God's played such a bigger role in my life in the last year. And I think that has a huge, I can't even express how huge that impact has been on my life. As I'm sitting here with you, recording this, I am in my brand new home, which is so incredible. I'm so grateful to God for this blessing that I had been asking for for a while. And here we are. It's come to fruition.
Starting point is 00:17:27 And I know that God's hand is all over this. I am so blessed. And I'll tell you, we have been in our new home for one week. Yes, I'm still looking at boxes in my house because for four of the days this week, I was in LA. And if you are with me every week, you know what that means. Yes, I ended up going on Dr. Phil. Okay, so let's back it up for a second. Here's what I wanted to explain
Starting point is 00:17:51 to you about this whole situation. So out of the blue last week, right, this was when I was packing up my other condo and getting ready to move, which is chaos. If you haven't moved in a while, and I know we talked about this already, I purged so much stuff a friend of mine said, anything that doesn't bring you joy or that you don't love get rid of it. I was shocked at how much stuff I had accumulated over 17 years that didn't bring me joy, that I didn't love, and I just got unloaded it in a big, big way, even a little too aggressively because now I have no vases for my flowers because I got rid of every vase from any ex-boyfriend, Dionne, say, husband, whatever I had in my life because I thought, well, these don't bring me joy anymore. I'm not in a relationship with these people.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Bye. Got rid of them all and now I am looking at beautiful roses in a kitchen spoon holder because I don't have bases. But anyways, first world problems, not a big deal. We're gonna keep it moving. But look at your house through that lens. Get rid of everything that doesn't bring you joy, everything that you don't love
Starting point is 00:18:59 and create some space to bring new, amazing things into your life. Okay, so anyhow, two, no, three years ago, I did my TEDx talk, right? That TEDx was promoted to TED, translated into six languages, it was transcribed. I mean, it did amazing things, right? I'm super proud of it.
Starting point is 00:19:21 10 minute talk, if you haven't checked it out, go to Google and type in Heather Monahan Ted Talk. It comes right up. One of the things that's funny about life is you never know the domino effect something can have. Right, so you work so hard, I worked so hard on landing that TEDx, I worked so hard on delivering it. I worked so hard on the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:19:40 And wouldn't you know that a week and a half ago, I got 95 DMs on every platform in the world from Dr. Phil's producer who had just seen my TED Talk. So here we are, three years later, someone on a Dr. Phil team stumbles across my TED Talk and says, we need this woman on our show. So it's just so interesting to me that, you know, don't get frustrated.
Starting point is 00:20:07 This is, I'm literally giving myself advice here right now as I pretend I'm giving it to you. Don't get frustrated when you're thinking, I've worked so hard, I've created so much and things aren't coming together. We can only connect the dots looking back. We can't connect them looking forward, right? I never knew that this was how I was going to
Starting point is 00:20:25 land this huge show or this opportunity. And I don't know what this show is, what next door, this show is going to open for me, right? Who knows? That's what makes life so exciting. And brings me so much joy is that as you move forward in that uncertainty, you're moving forward in that opportunity and that potential. And who knows how incredible it's going to be as a result. So I'm super grateful. I was blindsided by that, that they stumbled across my TED talk and that's what landed me on the show.
Starting point is 00:20:54 But what a blessing, what a gift. Now, the timing wasn't ideal, right? I was in the middle of packing up one condo, moving to the next, and they kept contacting me and saying, hey, do another video for us on this, do a video on this. And I said, I'm moving. I can't. This is after I'd already sent them so many videos of me. And the woman said, Heather, I don't care if you literally just got out of work out, have a baseball hat on a no makeup to send a video, talking about what happened to you at your old job. So that's what I did.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I got out of my workout. I was coming home to start unpacking boxes. It was a week ago today. And I had no makeup on yikes. And I record this video, I sent them PS while I was sitting on the Dr. Phil show. Behind me, there's this humongous screen. Guess who's up there with no makeup on?
Starting point is 00:21:43 Oh, there's Heather. Hey, okay, so that was one of those moments. I thought, oh my gosh, monahan, really? Like, is this what you wanna do at 48 years old is show up on national TV with no makeup on and on no sleep, getting out of a workout, whatever. Okay, it couldn't be a better decision there. However, done will always be better than
Starting point is 00:22:05 perfect. And that's what this week is really about because I had so much going on. I am so far behind on everything right now. Like I didn't even change my mailing address. I hadn't even set up the FPNL. I hadn't shut off the other one. I still had the Wall Street Journal being delivered at my old house. I had packages at my old house. I mean, craziness because I didn't have the time to handle things, but I saw an opportunity, I knew that getting a chance and opportunity to go on a doctor field show with millions of viewers, there's so much potential. I don't know what will come of it, but I knew I had to take that leap and just move forward in faith that things will work out. And it's been a little chaotic, but I'm so proud that I did it and I know that
Starting point is 00:22:46 my message has already helped people that were live on set that day because they told me and I'm sure when it actually comes out in airs that it will help even more and you know that is again what we're all here for right as how can we elevate and impact others in a positive way and bring more joy bring more good into the world, and let people know you're not alone, whatever struggle you're in, you aren't alone, and you don't need to feel ashamed of it, you're in good company,
Starting point is 00:23:15 because I'm right there with you, right? And I've been right there with you, and there is more on the other side. There's definitely more for you. So just hang in there. I'm so riding in this with you. Say you have a business idea, but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree. Listen to the Millionaire University podcast. Learn how to run a successful
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Starting point is 00:24:44 This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. But things get real. I have such a great group of guys. I see myself with each of them. Real fast. The beat I've just exploded. You did me dirty. Are you kidding?
Starting point is 00:24:57 Your brother is on the chest, but who's to say I can't clip that off? Oh. The Batch the Rat for the years tonight, 98 Central on ABC and Streamon Hulu. I jump on the last seat on the plane because this whole thing came down so last minute that the Doctor Phil show booked me on the flight and it was literally the last seat on the plane. I was at the back of the plane freezing. It was not good.
Starting point is 00:25:21 I was not happy. Okay, get to the hotel. It was not the place I usually stay. I'm so much a creature of habit. Like, I like to know my people. I like to be in the familiar zone, right? So I was just trying to make the best of it. I'm like, this is an adventure and, you know, we're just going to go for it. So the show was super interesting. It was about people who had been bullied at work and toxic work environments,
Starting point is 00:25:46 and what they were doing to overcome those situations. And such variation from story to story, and then it was just, it's interesting. I mean, you never know how these things will come out when you actually see the final cut, because with things like television, they can edit and change things. But there is one super powerful moment
Starting point is 00:26:05 when Dr. Phil looks at me and says, what you have done with your life is amazing. He totally gives me props and mad shout out. And I'm super grateful because it's gonna make such a good clip for my website. Yay, shout out to Dr. Phil. So anyways, so it was such a long day. We were there at 6 a.m. was our call time.
Starting point is 00:26:23 I had been up since 3 a.m. I was literally like no sleep till Brooklyn for this kid for the past two weeks. It's crazy. Not complaining super grateful for all the opportunity, but I'm sharing that with you that listen, things might look like it's easy on the outside. It's really not what it seems when you see things
Starting point is 00:26:40 on social media, you know, you might see the clip from the show or my dressing room, the doctor's Phil show and think, oh, Heather, so lucky. You don't understand that I literally sat on the last seat on the plane for a six hour flight, freezing. I started getting a coal on the flight. It was a nightmare. I slept three hours when I got there. Then went to the show at 6 a.m. We had to take COVID test. We had to sit outside for 40 minutes waiting for the COVID test approvals. It was raining. I mean, what a disaster.
Starting point is 00:27:10 We were there until two in the afternoon. I mean, it was a long day. Most TV shows that you do aren't like that. You just go in and out in an hour, but for whatever reason, this was a much bigger equipment. Anyways, I hope in the end that it comes out amazing, fingers crossed, but you hope it will be. We turn it over to God, we have faith, and I know this, it will definitely help some people, and so that makes me happy. Okay, cut to, then I got to go back
Starting point is 00:27:37 to my West Coast headquarters, which is the Beverly Hills Hotel. I'm obsessed with it. My very good friend runs a front desk there. We've become great friends from me staying there so much over the last five years. And I actually wrote a chapter that includes him in my book Overcome Your Villains, and you'll know exactly who he is when you read it. So this was the first time I was seeing him
Starting point is 00:28:00 since the pandemic, right? Because I haven't been traveling to LA. Everything has been virtual, which is so exciting that things are in real life again. So he knew I was out there, what was going on. I go running in there, we're hugging. I hadn't seen him in gosh, two and a half years. Super excited to be with him, my peeps, and we're hanging out catching up, and he says, we'll go grab lunch outside. I'll come get you when your room's ready. So he comes and gets me. He brings me, he always upgrades me.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Just treats me so well. And by the way, it makes so much sense to have contacts at hotels, PS. If you are not making friends with people who work at the hotels that you're staying in, you are missing the boat. Not only could you make a new friend, but you definitely, there's some perks.
Starting point is 00:28:45 Okay, so, when they can give them. So anyhow, I go into my room, I'm exhausted, I'm like, I just need to lay down for a minute and all of a sudden, 10 minutes passed and there's a knock at my door. I know that's my friend because who else would be knocking on your hotel room? I open the door and he says, you're not gonna believe this.
Starting point is 00:29:01 I said, what happened? He said, guess who just pulled up? I said, who? He said, Dr. Phil. I had just left Dr. Phil an hour earlier, right? And gone to my hotel. He did not know I was staying there. And when I had left the show, the producer said to me, Heather, you were so good. Everyone in the control room was saying,
Starting point is 00:29:15 how great you were on the show. I said, well, then you need to have me back. I need to have my own show, which means I need to come back on this show again. Like, let's go, right? Get me in front of some more producers. So she said, okay, I definitely have me back. I need to have my own show, which means I need to come back on this show again. Like, let's go, right? Get me in front of some more producers.
Starting point is 00:29:28 So she said, okay, I definitely will bring it up in the next meeting and see how we can fit you in again. PS, you've got to plant the seed. Whatever it is that you want, you've got to speak it into existence and put it out there. The worst they can say is no.
Starting point is 00:29:41 Cut to, he comes to my hotel room, he's like, the doctor Phil is here and I just talked to him and I said, well, what happened? He said, I saw him so I jumped up and ran over and he said, I said, hey, Dr. Phil, I heard Heather Monnan was on your show today. And he says, yeah, she was in my friend's house. Well, how was she?
Starting point is 00:29:58 And he said, she was great. She's great, blah, blah, blah. And my friend says, well, you need to have her back on again. She's really good. She's been on Steve Harvey and these other shows and he starts selling me to Dr. Phil and Dr. Phil's system. You know what, you're right. That's a great idea. Thank you for grabbing me and bring that to my attention. So it was just one of those yet again serendipitous moments, right? Like what you put out there, you could be speaking into existence. You've got to start believing it to receive it.
Starting point is 00:30:25 If you want to receive that blessing and that gift that you're praying for, you've got to believe it's your truth and it's happening. And as I was talking to my friend, we were both smiling so big and he said, you know what Heather? I'm not shocked that just happened, you know, as you continue to do good in the world and you continue to put your best foot forward, he said, this place is magic and magical things happen here every day and I'm just so excited to be a part of it. He has this belief too and it's so important the people you surround yourself with and
Starting point is 00:30:56 then believing your dreams and then advocating for you and being a part of it. It's just, it's such a powerful feeling that I'm so grateful for all of the good people in my life. I'm so grateful for my friend advocating for me, and I'm grateful for these serendipitous moments. Back to serendipitous moments, cut to earlier this year, I had coach Mike on my podcast. Coach Mike is a regular on the Dr. Phil show. And when Mike and I got off the air, we were talking and he said, Hey Heather, you know what you need? And I said, what? He said, you need a platform like the Dr Phil show. You need something huge where you can start reaching millions of people.
Starting point is 00:31:34 So you can start selling millions of books and millions of podcasts downloads. I'm like, yeah, sounds great. But how in the world am I going to get on the Dr. Phil show cut to this week? We all know what happened. So start being open to these possibilities, open to these opportunities and open to the chance that sometimes things just come together. You don't have to white knuckle them. You can allow for them. You can surrender to something so much greater than you that could be orchestrating everything for the life that you're meant to have.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Right, so start thinking bigger, start asking for more and make sure that you're firing your villains and surrounding yourself with good people who are lifting you up and have your back. Okay, now I got a DM on LinkedIn and I want to read it to you. Very nice woman was sending me this amazing DM about my book and my podcast and how they've impacted her life and it's incredible what she's overcome. Super proud of her.
Starting point is 00:32:32 I'm going to keep her name anonymous just to protect her. Okay, Heather, in closing, there's a topic I would love to hear you elaborate on in the podcast. You recently posted on LinkedIn, there are two types of people in your life, those who would judge you for changing and those who would celebrate you for growing. My friends have been closer than family, but the past couple of years have been rocky, and I've lost a lot of my old friends, which can be really hard, like that feels sad. These are people I connect with over a decade ago. Some of them, we know, were coming out of divorce, you know, I don't know if I would have gotten through tough times like divorce in my own life without my friends because it was so hard, I would complain, I would cry,
Starting point is 00:33:09 I had a lot of growing to do, but they still support me. The difference is through all this, I was going to therapy, I was working on growing, I was going back to school, I was doing the things I needed to heal and grow. I know way too much about their situations to ignore it and it kills me to see them not growing, to stay in bad relationships, and when they're capable of so much more, that is frustrating and hard, but we can never change people,
Starting point is 00:33:32 we can only change the people that we choose to be around. Okay, it took me a while to realize that it didn't matter what I saw of them if they couldn't see it in themselves. True story. The good times I once had are now very limited to an occasional outing here or there because we're just in very different places. Well, I care about them, it stresses me out
Starting point is 00:33:51 to hang around with them. I don't know what to do with their stagnant lives, their insecurities and my growth. I have a voice now, I have boundaries now, and I have the sky's the limit view of life. Good for you, I'm so proud of you. I've been told that sometimes I sound egotistical when I speak like this.
Starting point is 00:34:07 Don't you think you're, you know, think too much yourself when you're around people who are thinking less of themselves? They may see it that way. I don't see it that way. I think I'm proud of you. Like live your best life, bring your joy, go for more.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Like heck, yeah, it's all of it. But the people she's describing don't feel that way because they don't feel that good about themselves. So they're threatened by her feeling good about herself, which this happens. And sometimes you just outgrow people guys, it happens. Okay, anyone who does the inner work will likely face similar challenges,
Starting point is 00:34:38 of course, from family, friends, et cetera. Any advice you can offer on tribe transitions would be of great value. Here's the thing, as we change, the way we see the world changes, right? So somebody who you might have seen as incredible at one point in your life when you were struggling, going through divorce, doubting yourself, as you groan and become stronger and they haven't changed, you're going to see them incredibly different. For me, I remember when I got fired back when I was 43 years old and basically my whole community and network disappeared overnight because I was no longer in that industry I had been in for 20 years.
Starting point is 00:35:17 And so many of those people I realized were only attached to me because of my job title, my position. And once that was gone, they didn't they didn't really care that much about me. At first I was so sad. I remember thinking this is so sad, you know, these people don't love me. But in time I realized what a blessing that was that I got to expose them for not loving me. I don't want fake friends around me. I want real, right, or die. And the more you clear space for those people who aren't meant for you any longer, the more you create space for the right people to be attracted to you. So you need to start showing up as that most powerful version of yourself, that most real version of yourself, that most flawed version of who you are,
Starting point is 00:36:00 owning it and rocking it as you should be. And as you do that, clear the deck for the people who aren't there to support you, who don't want a part of this two point old version of your life. That's OK. That's about them. That's not about you.
Starting point is 00:36:14 And people should be able to empower themselves to make their choices. That is fine. But you want to find the people who are the rider die, who know the real you, applaud the real you, and are there to help you grow and challenge you, not try to hold you back. That domino effect for me, I cleared the deck
Starting point is 00:36:31 on so many people right away when I got fired. Then over time, I saw that my personal relationship was not helping me to grow, it was holding me back. And that's when I ended my engagement, right? There was this domino effect of things that I opened my eyes to things I wasn't seeing before and I started growing and changing. And as I changed, I saw people differently because they weren't changing or growing. And so I out grew those situations.
Starting point is 00:36:58 And that's okay. That, you know, that's part of life. You see it happen with kids all the time and no one says it's an issue, right? My son hangs around with different people today as a freshman in high school than he did when he was in kindergarten and that's fine and people get it. So why can't it be the same for adults?
Starting point is 00:37:16 It can. At the same time, I have some of my best friends in the world. I've been best friends with since I was 15 years old, right? And we've gone through different phases in our life where we've been closer and then we've grown apart and we've grown back together. And it's just, it's so cool to see. And all of that is okay, right? It doesn't have to be one way or another. You just, you want people who support you, who know the real you, who encourage you, and who are your champions to be riding with you and those people can change throughout your life. Just show up as that real version of you and the more you put that real you out there,
Starting point is 00:37:52 the more you're going to track those right people for you now. And it's never too late to make a new friend or start a new relationship. There are plenty of people in your life that you don't know you're going to meet yet, that are going to show up in your life and love you and be your champion if you're willing to allow it. So put yourself out there, walk up and introduce yourself to people. The next time someone wants to introduce you to someone, take the meeting, right? Just start showing up for things, being open-minded.
Starting point is 00:38:21 Go to a new church like Voo and immerse yourself in the community, start talking to people. And when people send you a DM respond, like I did to this woman that wrote this note, you know, be open to the possibility, be open to the opportunity, and just show up putting your best put forward. The real version of you. And watch, you start attracting those right people to you. And I can't wait to hear your stories. Send me a DM, let me know if you have any questions. And if you like the show, please share it. It helps so much. No one succeeds alone, and that includes your girl right here.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Okay, as always, after I get out of church, I need to leave you with this parting wisdom that I get before I leave, which is the best is yet to come. And it sure is for me and I the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit.
Starting point is 00:39:51 On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-list guests on Young & Profiting.
Starting point is 00:40:08 I've got the best guest. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam packed with advice that's going to push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years.
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