CreepCast - Burgrr Entries | CreepCast

Episode Date: April 20, 2025

Meat products have become corrupted. Disgusting sludge births bug-like creatures. But how does it tase? Over 2 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code CREEPCAST at https://hellotushy.com/CREEPCAST Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, everyone. I'm just here to confirm the rumors. I know you've seen a lot of this in like, you know, my comments section, TikTok and Twitter and stuff like that. But I just want to confirm that Hunter is dead. He died a couple of days ago. He had a massive heart attack. while driving a car that a plane crashed into. Yeah, it was really brutal.

I took a lot of pictures. Anyway, he's dead now, but I will continue to do this podcast. This is actually what you're about to see, the last episode we recorded together. I will continue to do it. I will do it by myself or with someone else. To be honest, the paycheck is just way too good at this point. So, yeah, just wanted to give you that little update that he is dead

then you should continue to remind him of that going forward. Thank you. And here's here's the episode, I guess. Bye. Welcome back to Creepcast. Today we are reading a story called burger entries. Entries. I think it said injuries.

Entries. Could lead to some burger injuries. We'll find out. We'll see. So this story is made by an author named Jonathan Wodgekick, Wojkick. think that's a it's a polish or some kind of european name uh he also goes by mortishine online and while it seems like uh on like the website uh the insidious bogleach also boggleach.com yeah though and he has bogleach dot com and it has uh so much stuff there

i mean it looks like that this has been a website since 2001 he has a creepy section on that website that has what looks like i don't know hundreds if not thousand of short horror stories, which, yeah, the Bogglech has hosted the creepy, the creepy pasta cookoff is what it's called. And that's like a little award or a competition that goes on from since 2012. It looks like that was active from 2012 to 2017. And there's just a huge archive of awesome stories that I would love to just dive in sometime. A lot of those, so it seems that on Bugleach.com, I don't know if it was. several people or if it was just Jonathan, but at least Jonathan was some part of these competitions

that would run. So they have all the submissions from that. There's a catalog of a lot of Jonathan's own stories. There's also a bunch of like original Pokemon he's designed Digimon. He has like a merch store. He has a Patreon where he's still doing a bunch of updates. He has an Etsy store where he also seems to be a great artist. So there's a bunch of like little trinkets you can get with these cool little pins and like little creepy figures. like scary ghost and stuff like that. So there's a bunch of different ways to support. He goes by Seith Mantis on Etsy.

That's a really cool name. Scyth Mantis. He seems like a very prolific guy across a lot of different art. So hopefully he is a great writer as well. Wider, whatever. So if you want to support him, there's a bunch of different ways to.

We'll leave a link to the website, Boggleach.com. It seems to have all of his links in the description below. Be sure to show him some love. But this story itself, Burger Entries, was originally posted to its own website, Burger.com, and that's spelled B-U-R-G-R-R as like a series of entries or blog post. And it seems that the website is gone now, but all of the entries have been archived on creepypasta.com, which is where we're reading them from now.

And there's a few little, like, art depictions along the way, as mentioned, Jonathan's also an artist to help visual with the story for those so for those who are on YouTube you will get those in addition but yeah this is just a very interesting thing the story comes highly recommended across like Reddit communities and stuff like that so hopefully it's cool I really want it to be because a bunch of the other stuff Jonathan does looks cool so I'm excited to get into it yeah let's dive in dude let's dive in is the merch by the time I see this will the merch still be for sale uh I think we have merch up right now at creepy uh creepy or what's our what's our uh show called creepcass dot store

what's the name of the show what's the name of the show it's a it's a creepcast dot store you can go pick up some merch there also be sure to listen to us on audio platforms like spotify and apple podcast we appreciate you and give us a nice little rating because it does help us out so thank you it does so without further ado hunter are you ready to get into burger entries oh god i am Well, let's enter some burgers then. All right. Entry one. I don't know if any of this is going to get through to anyone.

If it does, it's probably because they wanted it to. At which case, I'm really sorry. Maybe they just don't even care. Maybe it doesn't matter because there's nothing we can do. If you're anything like me, you've seen some weird new shit around town. And more importantly, you realized it, and you've remembered it while everyone else goes about their day in ignorant bliss. I don't know how far it goes, but so far, nobody has shown any capacity to register what I'm saying. I can spam it up and down the internet, and I don't get one relevant response, nothing.

I've considered that I might just be crazy, but even crazy people can get some sort of reaction. Someone will at least try to humor them, calm them down. I've tried doctors, police, professors, they all just stare off into space when I start to describe this shit, like something is actively blocking the exchange of information. My biggest fear isn't even that I'm all alone. My biggest fear is that I might still only perceive bits and pieces of something bigger or worse that my capacity to perceive all this is shrinking. I can write it down, I can record every last detail, but it's not going to matter if I become

like everyone else. I could wake up tomorrow and look at my journal entries and only see a pile of mysterious cake recipes. Who the hell knows? First thing I ever saw was one of the pickup windows. It was just like any other one you might see at a fast food place, but it was right on the side of my own damn house. That's funny.

Nothing to miss indoors, but outside, half the block was lined up on my front lawn. Reading over a glowing menu full of scribbly looking gibberish and receiving their meals, if you want to call them that, almost instantaneously. They all acted like it was their usual mundane lunch stop. Even while the male lady sucked some rancid-looking glop out of a plastic pouch, congealed blood dripping down her chin, she told me it was the best she'd ever had. All my questions were met with those blank stairs and stupid smiles. I could have tell who or what was actually handing out the food or where it was coming

from. I could only see blackness. At least that's how I remember it. Maybe I saw something else, but it's gone now. God, it was only the beginning. So, he wakes up one day. There's just like a line on the side of his house. Hey, that's what I do. I'd be like, you fucking get to me?

Can I get some pink goo? It just like shows up immediately too. you know this reminds me of this is very uh invaders in yeah it i kind of got glimpses that too made me think of that uh that part where he's like i want my coleslaw you have your coleslaw at that chicken restaurant whatever yeah no it was it was the pork restaurant yeah because it was there was a big big mascot the children would like get sucked into yeah this guy was like it was a guy who was just stuck in it for years he's just been growing inside of this fucking the suit. I'll never

forget there was this one which looking back on, this is an insane joke to put in a kid's cartoon, but there's a scene where like, uh, Dib and, uh, his sister were eating at the restaurant and the big, like, mascot comes over. He's like,

oh, eat your food or whatever. And it shows him in the background, walk to like the back office. But right before he does, he stops and he quickly grabs a child and the child's screaming and he just takes the child into the back office. I remember being a kid and being like, huh, I wonder why I did that.

It's kind of weird. All the restaurants in town, the real ones anyway, are typically deserted. Employees still show up to some of them, but they don't even realize that no customers are stopping in. Some of them even host new windows, parasitically siphoning off all their business.

The thing seems to multiply constantly. I've seen them indoors, outdoors, on houses, on trucks, even one on a tree. A window to nowhere on the trunk of a tree dispensing deep-fried slop to an ignorant gaggle of hikers. People eating tree, like tree deep-fried wing slop is so gross. I also think they're running too, like breaking a sweat. Here, we've got to start real quick. We got we got a hold on real quick, just hold on. It's funny to imagine that it's like, like, avoid coming out of the tree and it's just tanting them like grease fried batter.

They're just blah, blah, blah, like. Yeah, I'm just picturing like sizzling hot, melted butter. It's just makes me so gross, dude. There was, I'll never forget when I was a kid. I remember there's a story being ran that a county fair somewhere was serving deep fried butter. Oh, yeah. Like they took a stick of butter. Oh, sure.

oh yeah that's that is a that's a mid that's a mid that's a midwest staple dude is that really a thing oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah have you had it no hell no okay that i can barely i can barely take down and here's the thing too i bet it's i bet it's delicious is what i it's just i mean i like butter but to just eat it to eat a i yeah just a bite out of a stick of butter makes me disgusted that's rough any state any like state fair carnival food is like just just horrible, horrible oils and all that kind of shit, too. But like even a funnel cake, listen, I like a nice funnel cake. I love funnel cake.

That shit puts me, puts me out immediately. It's probably my beatus. Well, yeah, it's a giant cake. It's literally a cake of batter. Yeah, it's butterbread deep fried and they put fucking powdered sugar all over it. Yeah, I know it's not good for me. But if I'm at the fair, I'm not going to, well, come on. I'm at the fair.

That's what, it's what I'm here for it. But honestly, eating like a stick of deep fried butter is a form of self-harm, I think. Like, you should talk to someone if you order that willingly. But no, so these windows are like... There's kind of popping in a little town. They're kind of showing up. I like the idea that it shows up on, like, fast food joints,

but somewhere else, like a barnacle on a whale or something. Like, it just grows on the side of it. That's an interesting idea. Near as I can tell, all of the product, products are meat, or some vague semblance thereof. I can't always tell what kind of animal or even what kind of body part it used to be. I've seen things that could have been dredged from some black godless deep sea trench, gelatinous slabs of flesh in blindingly unnatural colors, fried bugs just slightly larger than any I thought existed. It isn't just the windows either. I've started

seeing the ship right on supermarket shelves, foreign-looking packages with that same jimberish language on it. Occasional bouts of quasi-English, like... Number million taste. Give me a nice oar. Or? It can dream a great flavor. It all has the same stupid logo on it, too.

Sometimes burnt right into the cuts of meat. A bug-eyed cartoon hamburger in a little chef's hat. Sometimes it's winking. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes it's only is. after I've looked away. There's even people sucking down the shit on live television. The talking heads come back from commercial licking blood and grease off their hands.

Oh, God. The idea of it's like raw meat, like raw chicken meat they're biting into. Like, oh gosh. The weather lady shows up looking like an extra from a slasher movie. Red stains increasingly thick on a blouse. I don't think she's changed. changed in weeks. Nobody else cares. Nobody thinks anything is odd or new or different. Nobody but me. My appetite for meat is thoroughly dead, to say the least. I don't think I could ever

trust it again. But I've noticed non-meat products are growing steadily rarer. Fruits and vegetables are sitting out longer between restocks. A lot of things are just getting phased out to make room for all the new items. I shouldn't have to say this if you could already read and comprehend this far, but for the love of God, don't eat it. Don't taste it, don't touch it. Try not to even smell it. The more people eat, the less they act like themselves, the funnier they talk. If you know something's up, but you can't see what I'm seeing, I advise you to stick to cereal. I've found anything fishy about any of the cereal yet. I can't begin to postulate what's behind it all. Aliens, terrorists, Illuminati, reptileids. I could believe.

damn near anything at this point. This is the end of entry one. Yeah. This feels very familiar to a, is it a carpenter movie? What's the name of that movie? I think you're thinking of the stuff. Yes,

that is. Yeah. It's not, it's not carpenter, but it's just like a classic 80s B horror film. Yeah, where it's like, it's ice cream.

Everyone's obsessed with this ice cream, but some company is mining it out of the earth, whatever, and it like makes them kind of like go crazy. I was actually going to say the exact same thing obviously it's not ice cream it's like a it's it's meat related stuff but still yeah just the idea of and also too in the movie it's like packaged by a corporation you know a very heavy handed on like the kind of shit that you consume from like i don't know it's about consumerism

yeah yeah but but in this one of things just kind of like showing up to me i was getting more of like an sEP vibe of like weird anomaly of things growing on different kinds of things because what i'm wondering too is it'd be kind of sick if like it grew on somebody and then people were like chasing a guy or they were like ordering from inside of this guy's like stomach or like you know his back or something crazy like that. I think that could be kind of sweet. But no, I mean, so far I really enjoy the, uh, just the perspective of also a guy just being like, why does everyone else not like no like why is no one else thinking this is crazy is always funny. Just standing there like what are you guys doing? What is going on here? It's funny because you can imagine this is like someone

who's mentally ill like having a breakdown or if this is true and um like no one realizes it's wrong and he's right then he would be the only person it'd be similar to uh what's that psychosis the one we're like he's the one guy left and everyone else is crazy um gives me similar vibes to that but i kind of love the idea yeah i love the idea of the protagonist like this is real and the protagonist is not even going crazy but i think just like is not under the spell of this thing yet, where it's maybe, you know, it acts like a zombie virus or something,

you eat one thing or smell it, and you just kind of get obsessed with it or whatever else. But I really hope that it's like, oh, no, this is really happening. Just I think that'd be a fun angle to take. Would you eat the meat slop? Oh, God, in a heartbeat. In a heartbeat, look at that, dude.

People are, you know, I'm, I've seen, uh, I've seen deep fried butter. Can't be worse than that. What's cute is, uh, yeah. I didn't know exactly what you'd say, but I knew you would start with, oh. That's the way when you're fully committed to anything, your first word. Oh. Oh.

Yeah. Oh, no. No, no. Yeah. I would, uh, I would eat it. I'd just be like, is it good? Because also, if there, well, you know, if I saw a woman drenched in blood, she's like, oh, it's good. I'd be like, hmm.

Don't know. Don't really know if that's a viable. Like you're not, you're not sure. You're not writing anything off. Yeah, well, listen, of course not. It's still on the table, but I'm like, hmm, that does make me thinky is what I would say. That's what you'd say in front of a woman just covered in chicken feathers in blood.

Yeah, chicken feathers blood and she's licking grease off her hands. That's all I would say is that make me thinky. That makes me thinking. Something's a little off here. Now, this is downright suspicious is what I would say. she's like throwing up bile like black bile and blood you okay did you have to double down at KFC that happened to me too her face is melting it would be really funny as if you ate it and nothing happened

yeah like oh my god I actually got skinnier whoa like this is like science is like well my god he said this is actually healthier than anything you normally I'm like well it is pizza roll Thursday and I'm switching it up so is what do you think is healthier? The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the slop coming out of the tree or, or, or tautino's pizza rolls. if you had to guess the microplastic tiny pepperies

don't talk about Totinos that way listen I love the spin off ones I love it the spin off ones yes I will agree with the spin off ones

yeah yeah same with like a like store store brand anything is horrible for you and I listen when I say horrible for you I mean that I would

I would suspect that there's bleach in every store brand product like instead of Mountain Dew it's like Mountain Thunder or something like that at Walmart that's got

That's got to be made with bleach somehow. But I drink it anyways, because it's that good. For no reason. For no reason other than spite. Oh, they just throw it in there as a terrorist stack. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because what are you going to tell me what to eat and what to do? I'm an American.

How dare you? That's why I say to that, well, if you do that, you're going to legally go blind from a stroke. I'm like, okay, so you're controlling. That would make any thinky. Uh-oh, looks like the old Ball and Shane, the old government, doesn't want me to drink bleach. Well, this will show them, liberal.

Yeah, that's what I said. That's what I said in my doctor. Get out of my face, liberal. That makes me thinky. But no, all in all, entry one was cool. Entry two. Actually, don't even know how many entries there are. Let me see. Did you see? Five, I think. Five. Five.

There's like points. There's like 5.5. Okay. There's, yeah, there's But five, but five really, really stretches out that five number. Really likes to. The majority of this story is entry five. It's the most of the story is part five. Yeah.

All right, entry two. I want to take a quick moment to thank today's sponsor, Tushy. Okay, off script, completely from the heart here. A few months ago, my wife bought a Tushy Baday, and I have no idea how I existed as a human being without one. If you don't have a bidet, I'm not saying that your life doesn't matter. I'm just saying it's worth less than mine. I have no idea what I was doing beforehand. I don't like using bathrooms that aren't my specific bathroom anymore because it's just not the same. I feel like an animal without it. And you can get in on this today because Tushy is the luxury bidet that your bathroom

has been missing. Instead of wiping endlessly with toilet paper, Tushy removes 99% of bacteria while protecting your natural skin barrier thanks to one natural ingredient, fresh water. So not only does Tushy eliminate the waste, but it's better for you. I mean, using Tushy reduces irritation, prevents micro-tares, swapping scratchy toilet paper with soothing water. Once again, I cannot stress how much cleaner I feel throughout the day when using a bidet as opposed to dry toilet paper.

It's also easy to use. Installation is simple and takes about 10 minutes to complete. Once you have it set up, you can start to use the toilet hands-free, taking full advantage of the built-in air dryer and easy-to-use cleanser. Plus, you can save money in the long run as people who have made the switch to Tushy use up to 80% less toilet paper. Because again, Tushy does most of the cleaning for you. That means no more clogged toilets and no more wasted money.

So elevate your comfort every day for life. And now's easier than ever because every Hello Tushie Baday comes with a 30-day hassle-free return and a 12-month warranty. And for a limited time, our listeners can get 10% off their Tushie Baday, when they use the discount code creepcast at checkout. That is right, 10% off your first bidet through hellotushy.com when you use the discount code creepcast to get in on this incredible, life-changing improvement today.

Thank you so much to Tushy for sponsoring the show. We are now back to the episode. Entry two. The ads are everywhere. Flyers, neon signs, billboards, all of them written in some weird foreign language I can't find any match for. plastered with goofy artwork of bug-eyed hot dogs and steaks

and less identifiable things. People stop and stare at them compulsively. Pupils dilate them while their clouded mind registered God only knows. A lot of people say the exact same thing and the same exact tone and rhythm every single time.

That sounds good enough to eat. That would drive me fucking insane, by the way. If everyone did that, you're like, hey, Carl, how you doing? That sounds good enough to eat. I'd tell I would go to the nearest store, buy a rope, and do what you know I'm going to do. All right. Do you remember that time when you were at the Mexican restaurant outside and you got attacked by a bunch of flies?

Why even, why even bring that? What the, where the fuck did that come from? that's just that we were thinking about food and knew what you would do and I just get to okay they were vicious flies I know that doesn't sound very threatening but it felt like an orchestrated attack okay

hold on I have to tell it from my perspective I have to say what happened there were like six of us at a table and I was across from Hunter and like it started out like one fly got near him and he swatted we were outside on a patio one fly got near him he swatted at it and then two more got near him

shut the fuck up who cares and then there's a few on him and he's like what the what is going on and then someone down the table says something so I turn my head and as I'm watching the person

who's talking I get you not like like 30 fly I don't know if there was a there must have a fucking dead dog because I sat there I was swat

him and I said I said what the fuck like that I've never been so sure that I was having a heart attack I was like they smell death on me like there there's all this is what death

it feels like is flies flying around you like this I was looking at the person who was talking and I saw them cut like above the building of the restaurant

and in my head I'm like surely they're not going to go towards hunter and then they all beeline and they like hunters out of my view but they all go that way and i hear hunter go oh my god my god i mean it was it felt completely it felt orchestrated from these creatures that don't have any fucking brain function i was like how did they fly talk to each other and to plan this attack also what did i even do what the fuck did i even do and i was was trying to be respectful to

whoever was talking so I didn't look right away but when I turned a second later he had leaned over in his chair to pick something up but it looked like he was gone the flies took me they all grabbed onto my shirt and I was like ah

they just got like flowing away oh ha ha ha like that uh that was great the flies were a paid actor that was incredible anyway we can go back to the story now I just need to share that

That sounds good enough to eat. I hear it a hundred times a day, when I risk going out anyway. Then they'll head straight to one of the impossible windows, the infected supermarkets, the rapidly multiplying vending machines, or one of the green doors. Those awful green doors. I don't know if they're actually new or I'm just newly capable of seeing them. The first one I noticed had grown.

for lack of a better word, on the back wall of our local shop right. An ugly, faded seafone affair, smeared window shaped like their burger logo, chrome handle flicked with rust. Same as all the others I've seen since. People were coming and going at a steady pace, but even when I staked it out for a good six hours, I never saw the same patron coming back out again. I guess that should have been a big warning sign, but I couldn't take it. Had to know. It didn't lead into the store, of course.

I knew it wouldn't. As soon as I stepped inside, I was assaulted by the sound of eating, feasting. Wet, breathy, chewing sounds drowning out everything else. Tugging at my gag reflex. There were bars, tables, and booths scattered and disorganized patterns around rows and rows of buffets. Many seats were occupied, but the bulk of the customers were eating on foot, wolfing shit down, right, and out of the bars as they went along. I knew none of them

could comprehend what they were really doing, where they really were. The decor was almost, but not quite in the style of a retro 50s diner. Maybe with a dash of Dr. Seuss. A lot of the furnishings look chunky, soft, plastic, like they were designed for children,

though I can't imagine any child with such a depressing taste. Booths were lined with putrid, off-green cushions. Tables were a hideous, yellow tan with chipped chrome trimmings. Floors were pale blue tile like a public restroom. Many pieces missing are disheveled.

The walls were more of that tacky chrome interrupted by fake wood paneling, giving way to glass windows from about waist height to the ceiling. Yes, windows. Not visible from outside. I stepped through a door in the middle of one plain, solid brick wall, but from inside it was glass all around. They were so thick with grime that I could scarcely see through them, but I could tell it wasn't the correct view from behind the shop right.

It looked more like some murky storybook vista, simple, blocky houses on rolling green hills. Despite the steady stream of people coming in through the door, I couldn't see a single sign of movement or life out there. I began to wonder if I might look suspicious, just standing around and gawking while everyone else was heading straight for the food. I thought I might as well make some effort to blend in, mistake number one most of the offerings were typical of the shit coming out of those takeout windows or invading the grocery shelves a heap of raw red steak set on a bed of black

clotted blood oh oh oh just the idea of like a giant blood clot on it oh that made me Dude, it can't be that bad, man. Dude, people eat placenta all the time. Oh, why would you say that? They do. They eat placenta. I know, I know. I forgot about it.

Do you think you and your wife? Do you think you and yours will do that? Do not finish that thought. Do not, don't you approach me with that tone at all. I heard supposed to be, I are supposed to be good for you. Not another word. I can't take you. I'm going to send those flies back.

Oh. oversized pasty white drumsticks dribbled cold yellow juices a long trough of chunky peekish oh gosh this is get to me a long i can't do i can't do gross with food like i say i ate a bowl of chili earlier and he's like he's like oh god i can't i can't do like gross food any murder thing like that i'm fine but when they start eating it that's uh okay like cannibalism cannibalism bothers me a lot in stories oh reheat the placenta shut take take take the chili off the stove we're not doing chili tonight we're doing placenta do you do you do you eat it raw

the placenta are you just i'm so scared so scared of what you're saying don't look it up don't rest of me don't justify this is an answer just let me Well, I don't know. After delivery, after delivery, a common way to prepare the placenta for eating is to put it inside a capsule. What? A capsule is like a pill. They're not chewing it up. Really?

This is done by steaming and dehydrating the placenta or by- You're not chewing up a part of your wife's body. I mean, this is done by steaming and dehydrating the placenta or by processing the raw placenta. People also have been known to eat the placenta raw or cooked. Okay. So, yeah, you've been, I mean, you can fucking chow down on it. Why not, dude? I'm saying if I'm gonna do it

I would rather just fucking all out do it I'm not gonna I'm not gonna put it into a pill like it's a fucking like it's a like it's a flintstone vitamin dude I'm gonna I'm gonna eat that shit this is worse than any scary thing I've recovered this is just hearing you talk

just being you right now I'm sorry I did I was just curious it's unbearable it's unbearable because here's the thing too man you'll you'll know this you'll figure this out the older you get you're going to start saying shit because you're like make fun the placenta thing and all of a sudden you're going to be around with your buddy so as a kid and they're like no i ate my wife's yeah okay that's happened that's not the placenta specifically

but i've talked about how stupid something is only to end up having a friend who's done something it's like okay well well get fucking ready for the placenta talk dude because it is going to happen is it going to be you are you going to be the one to do it all i know is this dude at home birth in the bathtub and if i see that little motherfucker floating around you better believe I'm a snatched up I'm gonna bob for an apple is all I gotta say because I think that

it doesn't have like stem cells or some shit in it I bet I could fly after eight it if I ate that motherfucker raw you might see me leaping like the hole or something

you're gonna see me I'm perfectly tan skin Keith's fully straight couldn't look like I'm I don't you're glowing I was bobbing for apples is what I said I need worse things to happen to you.

I'm going to, when I die of a heart attack, you'll, you'll, uh, you'll be happy. I'm just going to show up to the funeral and be like, checkmate and then walk away. I'm going to have a, on a piece of dehydrated placenta, right my mouth of them. I'm going to have it in my mouth like a, like a toy cigar. Everyone's going to call me the Don. Go ahead. You know what? A long trough of chunky, pinkish slop jiggled like pudding as people scooped it onto their trays or straight into their grease-caked faces.

I think I pulled my shirt up over my nose around this point. I thought I recognized a lot of exotic fare. Frog legs, chicken feet, beef tripe, but I couldn't be quite certain. I wasn't sure if chickens had that many toes or any frogs I knew of grew exactly that large. There's a tray of what I thought were fat, segmented seed pods until one of them abruptly curled and uncurled twice, like a beckoning finger, absolutely made my skin crawl. That's disgusting. There were tongues. There were brains.

There was something like clear yellow spaghetti in a patsy brown sauce. At least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself it was. There were fish fins and goad eyes and even bones. just steaming hot perfectly bare white bones i could barely take the side of anyone eating mrs faber a grim and crotchety old bag from down the street was digging like an excited child through a big heap of what looked like horse teeth sucking off whatever scraps of gum tissue she could find some decrepit old bag being like oh yummy and like eating the thin layer of gum. So gross, dude.

Sucking gun, the sucking off like the little pieces of skin that hanged on teeth. Shut up. You're four years old. Sucking off. Oh.

I hate you. This story, this story is rough. That means it's working. It's doing what it wants to do with the gross out thing. But just the visuals. Because like the clear spaghetti

was like worms or something. I was just drinking a shake. like half until like 10 minutes ago and I'm not finishing this I can't I'd say what got me I'd say what got me was the like the legs frog legs and chicken feet and all that have you ever had frog legs or chicken feet yeah I've had frog legs I don't think I've had chicken feet brutal brutal frog when I was younger I used to like frog legs because I wouldn't think about it it was just like oh yeah yeah but the older I get the more it's like hmm I'm all right You would not see me bobbing for apples with frog legs.

I can tell you that much. I felt my stomach shudder. We made eye contact. For a moment, I almost thought I saw a look of horrified clarity. Like the fog was almost lifted from her mind, and she was about to ask me what in God's name she was doing. Instead, her eyes glazed over, and she smiled that chillingly idiotic smile.

Just like mama used to make. She said, in a hokey, seeing soggy, tone she'd have never been caught dead using popping another gnarled yellowed muller into her mouth and sucking noisily I could taste my own bile by the time I backed away

from that godless orgy of culinary depravity love that that's sick that's how I just I was trying to think of a restaurant to use as an insult there but I was just out no I'm going to

A godless orgy of culinary depravity is me on the fucking Mick Pick Pick 3, whatever. Or Mick Pick 2 or whatever menu. You better watch my ass on that drive through. I'm telling you, dude. That's what the person's taking order. I'm like, and this? And they're like, is that all?

No, no, no. And this. And he's like, my God. This is a godless orgy of culinary depravity. Yeah, that's me. Hey, that's me when the fucking Mick rib is back. That's what that is, dude. You better watch my ass for real.

God damn. That's good, Hunter. I'm happy for you. I can't feel my. ankles that's when I saw it the thing I've come to think of as an egghead was wobbling around the bars arms flailing blindly a chalk white naked sexless human figure dominated by a featureless beach ball of a head a stick figure made flesh the alien invasion theory was already sounding better and better the thing was working its way down one aisle at a time and didn't look at first like it had any particular goal in mind it occasionally clutched at someone's hair or clothing almost as though desperate for attention or even in need of help but nobody so much is blinked in its direction i assumed i could get away with ignoring it like everyone else until it finally hobbled its way down the opposite aisle and crossed my direct line of sight it froze there the blank smooth egg face turned directly towards me.

I don't remember the Sprint home, but I do remember it was the dead of night when I exploded out of that ugly, greasy green door. It couldn't have been later than noon when I first entered, and I couldn't have been ogling the whores therein for more than 40 minutes, from my perspective. I don't know if anything followed me, but I barricaded myself in my bedroom that night just to be safe.

The doors in the windows are everywhere. everywhere. If you can read this, only go out when you must. Don't go anywhere new. It might be newer than you think. End of entry too. Man, like a weird eggless, skinny, naked man walking around a restaurant, like tugging at people's hairs just for like attention. Because it almost sounds like a giant baby walking around, doesn't it? Yeah, I imagine it as the, I think they're called Whiteheads in Resident Evil 3. Pretty sure. Resident Evil 3 remake. I was thinking, I got some Silent Hill vibes from that, at least from like the movie and stuff. Weird.

Yeah. Creatures, you know, like the ones you just beat the shit out with a stick at the beginning of Silent Hill 2, like those little guys that scurry around. Yeah, it reminds me as like a, uh, or paleheads. That's what they're called. It reminds me just like a bundle of flesh, you know? Let me look at the paleheads. Yeah, paleheads from Resident Evil 3 remake.

Uh, yeah, the, the idea of it just reminds me as like a, uh, a ball of flesh, like a big nothing thing. Mm-hmm. almost like it's raw meat shoved together a bunch it's like weird it's weird that these things don't articulate even as like a like a zombie not a zombie but it almost feels like a lost soul like a physical representation of a lost soul yeah maybe it's like the things that are doing it you know the things that are uh causing all of this and they're just kind of monitoring their uh victims so to speak you know yeah but uh anyway so with that uh let's I've enjoyed this so far.

This is really, obviously, it's effective because I'm, me, my, the pits of my knees are loose. Yeah, the language could be a bit flowery at times. It feels a bit too word salady, but it'll do. So, was that you making fun of me? That was me wanting to, uh, stab the audience to death. Me just Josh. Is that, is that what they said in the?

in the comments for the LaGotti one. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't want to talk about it. It's so it's unfucking believable. He was so mad. He was texting me. It was so funny. I've never been so fucking embarrassed in my life.

I mean, people, I mean, people, you know, they want to, they want to be chill and they want to, like, you know, be laid back and just listen to a story. I get it. They're not trying to get a literary analysis and stuff like that. I understand as much as I'm a fan of like what we read. I'm

I'm not as violent about it as you are. I mean listen, I see very clearly now that people want the simple tropey schlocky stuff and that this is primary. I mean like all in all you know I know that we've talked about this before

too about like we read stories and stuff yeah we give analysis but I would say more so it's about us joking around and stuff and I get that. So all I got to say is is that we're going to read wherever the fuck we want to read and you can bitch and complain all you want

so shut the fuck up idiot thank you well said entry three entry three they used to be people the egg is literally our fans

it used to be people now they just want stuff with people that have diarrhea in their pants and talking dolls that want to stab you. That's, that's the, that's the real stuff they want. You're so, you're so tilted right now. I know, we can, we can cut it. No, no, no, no.

I think it needs to stay because this is funny for me. Whatever they say about you is double funny for me. I had a bunch of people. I posted a TikTok earlier today and all the comments for some reason just in, unison decided to pretend like you died and they were all like you're doing really good

I'm proud of you after what the accident I hope that Hunter's family is doing okay we should just begin the story we should seriously begin this story then today with you at the end of this we should have you record something being like hey guys he's not here

we have like the horrible basically say that I died right and then they'll get to this part in the story and it'll make sense. sense to why that happened. Right, right. And then you can feel bad for making those those things because my wife sees that. My children see it.

And they say, what's wrong, Daddy? What's going on? I'm like, I'm losing my mind. People think I'm dead. I had two family members text me and be like, did something happen to Hunter? What? Yes. I'm in hell.

I want to fucking die. It's so bad. This is great. I love my job. Holy fuck! All right. The eggheads. Yeah, they used to be people, you know.

Mm-hmm. I've seen it a lot in the week since the buffet. Not everybody shows the signs, but some people, the ones who get hooked the hardest on that sick foreign meat slop only seem to gain weight from the neck up. That's awesome.

That's awesome. That's like you're so sick. You become obese in your neck and your chin first. you're like bodies like tiny and frail you're like well I don't see what's one more plate would do I mean I might as well have one more plate all your fat goes straight to your head the lobes of your ears and shit

the first thing to disappear the eyes then the mouth seals shut and the whole head smooths over and start to wonder aimlessly invisible to everyone else forgotten by friends and loved ones do nothing but mumble groping their arms around like they're hunting for their lost eyes

I killed one today. I spent my afternoon scrowging around town for normal things to eat. An increasingly challenging task. Avoiding the overtly weird shit is only the half of it. I have to be careful for anything that posts a new formula or improved flavor. Sometimes I just have to scan the package for the hamburger logo or check the ingredients for some new jiverish, like... Extracted bone jellies.

or natural life parts some of the untainted stuff is skipping the shelves and going straight into dumpsters which i'd been digging through when the egghead got the jump on me cornering me in a one-way alley between a safeway and a Walgreens its head was bigger than most an impossibly bloated globe that almost brushed the walls on both sides I don't know how its feeble chalky body could have held it up It was barely more than a skeleton. Thin skin shrink-wrapped tightly to its bones.

All that remained of its former identity was a black dress tie, swaying like a pendulum from its pencil-thin neck. Its incoherent mumbling sounded at once panicked, apologetic and threatening, as it staggered towards me, limbs outstretched. I had nothing to defend myself with but a bag of stale bread and a warm can of coke. I screamed at it, told it I didn't know what it wanted. that there wasn't anything I could do, but it just kept coming, mumbling.

The moment my back hit the wall behind me, I snapped. I grabbed the nearest garbage can lid and swung with all my strength, flaming it straight into the fat, bulbous face like a battle axe. It felt like striking a huge, taut basketball. The mumbling grew more frantic, more confused as the thing stumbled backward, gravity tugging at its awkward cranium, arms whirling cartoonishly as it fought to regain its center of balance. It was like some bent slapstick routine,

like somebody struggling not to drop a wedding cake. I charged, screaming like a banshee as I struck again, and the thing finally toppled, slowly, like it was filled with air. As it hit the ground, that massive noggin exploded like a swollen tick with a wet splash, pinkish gore and hunks of rubbery white flesh gushed out of the alley and into the street. For one terrifying moment, I wondered how the scene would look to the rest of the world if they just see some random senseless act of murder against a completely normal innocent human being.

The people already nonchalantly stepping over the scattered piles of gore would have eased my mind if it weren't for what happened next. One of those piles started moving. Something about the size of a baby was squirming out from the pulverized sludge, a fat slightly oblong shape with a lot of thin wriggling appendages underneath still too thick with gore for me to make out any details it was still between me and freedom and i could only watch in a confused stupor as it unfurled a pair of big transparent fins and abruptly took flight buzzing off into the afternoon sky like a bloated fleshy bumblebee thankfully never seemed to notice or care about me funny how i settled on eggheads. I just thought they looked like eggs. I didn't know they literally were.

That's cool. That like the meat it's eating is like a parasite that grows in their head. And then it just like the reason they're compelled to keep eating is because it's feeding the thing that they're hosting. Yeah. Yeah. It's super fun. Because yeah, I was wondering too. I was like, why the fuck is it getting bigger? But no, knowing that stuff is actually growing inside of it to where their head is now becoming like a pregnant sack.

Just being able to fly away, it's so odd. Such a sick visual. A big bloated, like, bot fly. Yeah, it's like a giant maggot grows in their head. And then, like, it swells to the point it eventually burst or something hits it and it pops. And that lets the fly take off. Yeah, it would be, well, it's funny. You said maggots growing inside of it or whatever.

I love the idea of it being one large thing instead of just like a bunch of tiny things. Like one giant larva is growing inside of it. Mm-hmm. yeah this is this is you know what this is kind of heat right now i am i am in fact liking this a lot a woman stopped dead in the crosswalk to smile and wave at the thing as it disappeared into the skyline and continued on her way with only a momentary look of puzzlement at what am i doing look followed by the well whatever one i've grown so accustomed to over the past several weeks. When I got home, I started reading up on diseases, parasites, bugs, puzzle pieces dropping

into place. There's a kind of wasp that lays its egg in a live caterpillar. When the larva hatch, they modify the host's entire metabolism to suit their needs. The caterpillar eats more, grows bigger, all to provide the developing wasps with more sustenance. This kind of shit is everywhere in nature. There are microbes that make mice suicidally attracted to cats. There are flies that grow inside the heads of ants who keep on moving even after their brains are eaten. It all makes so much sense. Maybe they're from space. Maybe they're from hell. Maybe they've always been here, toppling one species, one civilization after another. Who knows? They feed us so we can feed them, so they can have a nice warm body to keep them safe and nourished

until they don't need us anymore. We're just a herd of cattle, oblivious to our position in life as we're fattened up and slaughtered by something that looms just above our understanding of the natural order. I don't know why I can see them. Why I can see what they're feeding us. I'm like a cow who grasps exactly what goes on in the slaughterhouse. And I can't stop thinking about what a cow could ever hope to accomplish with that knowledge. Your guess is as good as mine. End of entry three.

Yeah, that's a fun, uh, uh, comparison to draw. I'm like a cow that knows what happens in the slaughterhouse. else. Yeah. Well, it's, it's, I like it a lot too because also he stated it a couple times. I'll say he, but their protagonists has stated it a couple times. And there's going to be a point where there's no food left. It's like it's the inevitable. It's like, like, like, that's why I like the cow thing too, because you're in a line just waiting to die pretty much. And that's how it feels here with this, uh, with our protagonist just kind of being like, well, you know, the shit's just kind of, it's getting more fucked up by the day. But what else can I do? Yeah, there's only so much that can be done. It also like, uh, uh, it gives me I mean like maybe you could grow your own stuff but even then it's like it's it's like all of society's cooked basically yeah but I even look at like the food is like transforming on its own almost like even if you cook something like one day you'd like wake up and it's like oh the corn that like let's just say it's corn you like oh you like you like shuck it or whatever and then underneath it's like corn but it's all meat like the little like yeah you know actual corn

pods but uh so I don't know Um, also I wanted to say too, this kind of reads like a Edo story a bit, like the visuals and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Wait, what's, there's one Edo story about people who become obsessed with, uh, a honey, right? Or something like that. A honey. Hmm. It's something, it's something, but it like kills them randomly. Well, there's a couple things that, there's a couple things that, uh, it's made me think of. First off, it made me think of the grease story with like the guy obsessed to the grease. He pops his pimples on our face. But then it even has some, it has like some taste of the crack and Omigar fault, which is like people being obsessed with finding going inside of the hole that's shaped like them in the mountain. Just that kind of weird obsession, which that's like a big theme and a lot of his stuff too is just like obsession. But also I wanted to say, I really like whenever these authors online when they go into like weird medical stuff or like weird transformation type stuff. like it is giving me flashbacks to reading uh it breeds it bleeds and it comes or whatever the fuck it's called yeah yeah it breeds it bleeds it bleeds it bleeds it bleeds it breathes it it yeah it does that yeah yeah it breeds it comes it breeds but the uh just the way of like

listening to a protagonist slowly dissect the horrible outcome of like a of a of something like not even like medically but just like weird biological shit going around them you know very fun so yeah the uh the story i was thinking of is splatter film uh it's a junji edo story and it's about this new honey that comes from south america that people get really obsessed with uh but anytime they eat it there's like a 25% chance they explode They get splattered across a wall. Like they explode across a wall. So everyone's obsessed and they can't stop eating it.

But like one and four people in the room just explodes. So yeah, that's kind of what this reminds me of a little bit. Okay. Entry four. Entry four. Also, by the way, I just like the way information is given to us. Like, oh, there's this new food. I watch these people.

endlessly eat it. I saw an egghead. The eggheads used to be people. There's a thing growing in them. And now the start of entry four says, I followed one of the flying things. Like, it's a, we're given just enough, but drip fed more to keep us engaged throughout. It's, it's well written. Yeah, that was going to be one of the things I said was that

it does a good job by not over-explanning itself. So hopefully that continues. Entry four. Today I followed one of the flying things. They eventually break out of the eggheads on their own, often taking 30 minutes are so to wipe the gore off their slimy bodies with their squiggly legs before they take to the air. They've never shown any aggression or any acknowledgement that I exist.

They just flutter away like they've got somewhere to be. Apparently they do. It was in a Walmart parking lot that I witnessed another hatching. The egghead was stumbling between cars, clawing at its own face, reaching feebly out to passerbyes, like it still thought it could be saved. It hadn't even hit the ground before its featureless face started. to crack audibly, pink goop driveling out like raw yolk. It collapsed against a minivan and slumped limply to the pavement as a big hunk of its scalp

popped off with a wet, solid crunch. The thing inside was throbbing, swelling up like a pufferfish to push open what was once a human skull. It throbbed and squirmed its way out of the ruptured cranium, looked like nothing so much as a wet, looking like nothing so much as a wet rubbery horsefly made of chewed gum or an inverted brain with membranous wings. Its branching limbs rise like night crawlers, barely supporting its bloated regos body. The wings trembled, almost cautiously at first, before it took a first blind leap into the air and smacked wetly into the ground. It was a dud. Took another shot at flying,

awkwardly bobbing for a few feet before it dropped like a rock with another pitiful, wet smack. I laugh pretty hard. When invisible monsters are devouring the human race and nobody cares, you tend to take whatever entertainment you can get. It took off again in the same direction,

landing itself on the hood of a Jeep. Little guy was determined. That's when it dawned on me, the opportunity I'd stumbled upon. It always disappeared into the sky before I could even get a sense of their direction, but I could easily tell this one. one on foot. I figured, worst case scenario, I'd see nothing new and have to take a bus back

into town. As look would have it, its destination wasn't far. I came close to giving up, waiting for the damn thing to collect itself every 10 to 15 feet, watching it plummet like a bent paper airplane and flounder like a dying fish for minutes at a time. But not an hour had passed before I learned its little secret, half a mile from the crumbled remains of the egghead. A port of John. Oh, God. It's gonna, it's gonna want some poopy, dude. Oh, it's gonna be so gross. Whatever it is, it's gonna be

gross. Did you write this story? Maybe I did. Is me? I am the one who did it. Between the magic doors, garrish advertisements, mutant snack food and odd shit I can't even begin to get into. I never stopped

to think about the bright blue portable toilets that seemed unusually common as of late. I never needed one, and with this seemingly perpetual road work, guzzling our tax dollars for as long as I've lived here, it's not as if they were all that strange a sight. The grimy plastic door quietly swung open as the brain bug flopped closer. I feigned this interest, doing my best to pass by as obliviously as everyone else, but snuck a quick glance into the open honeypot. The brain fly, as I decided of them, was already careening down a long dark tunnel stretching as far as the eye could see I'll somehow contain in a single

small portable shithouse nothing unusual these days as I made my way back to my car and drove the rest of the way home only one thought persisted I had to know reality was unraveling around me former neighbors were fighting in the streets for rancid mouthfuls of fish guts giant hamburgers were lighting up the night sky on neon signs that dwarfed entire buildings. Things were eating people from the inside out, and all I wanted was an answer. Even a hint.

Any lead I could find. I didn't suspect there was anything I could do, and any day now I could wake up another diluted zombie, another gluttonous slave to their deep-fried maggots and pickled eyeballs. I could grime me up and serve me at the buffets for all I cared. I just had to know where that damn tunnel went. where the brain-eating bastards were really going. I laid awake that night,

my mind racing with images of alien motherships, parallel realities, subterranean cities. Tomorrow, I'm going in. Either I die knowing one more piece of the puzzle or I somehow kick their gooey little asses. Who's to say they'll even be prepared for an intruder? They think they've got us all fooled.

I don't expect to be some kind of hero, but so far I'm the only one I know who even has a shot at trying. now we go into entry five that was end of entry four entry five but it's entry 5.1 yes there are nine subparts to entry 5 so we'll see where that goes uh but i mean yeah if you're going to die if you're going to get killed by these things and humanity's gone i mean might as well do something interesting you know all right entry 5.1 i was not prepared for what i found in that tunnel It stretched on for over a mile In the back of what should have been

The 3x3 interior of a portage on I've been led there by a flying brain And what I found still succeeded in surprising me I've planned to come prepared But there was ultimately little That I thought would be useful I packed a store-bought survival kit Ropes and flare and whatnot

And a heavy metal snow shovel The only weapon I really thought would accomplish anything The eggheads only ever respond to bludgeoning And even then That only seems to speed the hatching process No way could I have hit one of the brain flies with a bullet In a close pace I suppose I could give one a good whack

What do you mean you couldn't hit one with a bullet So bullets can Oh whatever Sure whatever Maybe they're small at first I thought that it was pretty big though now They're pretty big they're pretty huge I think he's saying that like they're flying around

But if one's close enough to hit it with a shovel it would be close enough to shoot. Whatever. So horror stories do this all the time where it's like, I found a weapon, a bat. It's like, okay, what about a shotgun? What are you from like England? What are you doing this?

It's absurd. Besides the fundamental impossibility of its existence, the tunnel was wholly unremarkable. A slightly rounded, concrete corridor interrupted only by squarish rusted grates. The distant droning escalated as I progressed. Soon enough, the tunnel gave way to what I suppose I can describe as a sort of factory floor. I don't know how long I spent just standing slack-jawed, my brain fumbling over itself to process everything I was seeing.

Think of everything that comes to mind when you hear machinery, turning cogs, conveyor belts, churning pistons, whirling fans, mechanisms of every conceivable design, then some, cranking and pumping away in a space so vast that no floor, ceiling, or walls could be seen in the distant darkness. Now, imagine somebody threw all that away and hired clowns to remodel. 50 or 60 years of neglect later, you might have something close to the burton-esque hell I'd stumbled upon. Everything alternated between cold, grimy steel, and a sort of candy-like, land motif, with vividly striped plumbing and polka-dotted ductwork. I jumped as the shower of sparks flew from an immense robotic arm overhead.

Its rusted metal casing and tangled red wiring a stark contrast to its Mickey Mouse glove hand. I found myself retreating a few steps into the tunnel as it reached out, joints groaning with neglect, and pulled a tremendous lever with a shining pink knob, an action inexplicably punctuated by a sound like a quacking duck. Instantly, a checkerboard-looking conveyor belt squealed to life, issuing forth the procession of what may have been dead pigs, though I couldn't see their heads, or even the ragged stumps where any may have once been attached.

With a ridiculous slide whistle sound, another huge object rose into view, an angular pink and purple funnel that size of a swimming pool. One by one, the mystery carcasses tumbled off the belt and into the huge trumpet, each followed by a torturous rending sound and a brief but voluminous geyser of thick brown blood. Stink was overpowering.

That is, this is such a unique visual. Like the... Kind of reminds we have a killer cons around a space almost. Yeah, yeah, it's very similar to that. Yeah, yeah. Like the giant Mickey Mouse hand, it's like,

we're like... Yeah, just a Futh the Peeleys playhouse. That's a slaughterhouse. or whatever. And there's just brown blood from rotten carcasses pouring out everywhere and stuff smells like death

and it's like oombo luca's everywhere mesmerized by the spectacle of Willy Wonka sausage factory I nearly fell on my ass as a large object shot over my shoulder a brain fly

it had come up through the tunnel behind me and narrowly dodged my head by a few inches as my heart cautiously restarted itself I followed away the knowledge that I was still of no obvious concern to the things, even intruding as I was into what may have been their headquarters, or at least an extension of it.

I was unsure whether or not that was reassuring. The parasite had banked sharply upwards as it left the tunnel, but I could still hear the distinct fluttering of big, membranous wings between the whirring, grinding, and occasional goofy honking of the factory. I craned my head, waiting for the irregular crackling of the equest, equipment to illuminate the gloom. Sure enough, I could see hundreds, thousands of glistening, pinkish shapes passing a good 10 to 15 stories overhead, all in the same direction. I followed. A network of catwalks made navigation relatively easy, and I was usually able to keep sight of the

concrete wall it emerged from. Tunnel entryways were frequent, brainflies periodically zipping through to join their brothers and sisters above. Even if I lost my way, I was confident that a another tunnel might empty back into the real world, and probably in a populated area. It embodies, after all. I shuddered. Not at the thought, but at how casually the thought had come. I was growing too used to this, but comfortably comfortable. The Seussian Slaughterhouse offered no shortage of grotesque spectacles.

That is, wow. The Sousian Slaughterhouse? Yeah. Got them old cat in the hat walk. walking around like dragging pig bodies and stuff whatever yeah there's like a trail there's like in trails and like the blood so rotted it's black and the the fly carrying it upa loopa the susy and slaughterhouse is such a good phrase i love that sounds like a metal band rivers of meat slush ooze their way along metallic shoots as wide as city streets

putrescent corpses bobbing sluggishly in the current sometimes against it oh does that mean some people are or some things are alive and trying to swim backwards that's what i that's what i'm guessing but towering circular saws loom like macab ferris wheels chewing their way through slabs of solid fresh meat that could have fed whole towns what living thing could even have that much flesh on it steady splattering turned out to be a blender the size of a small house. Literally just a scaled-up household blender. It even had a giant-sized dial, albeit with only one labeled setting. Excite!

I suppose you could describe the endless truckloads of live white mice pouring into as excited, in a sense. I passed bubbling lakes of entrails, fermenting tanks of gasping fishheads, mountains of broken, bloody bone. An endless procession of meathooks ferried a bizarre menagerie of carcasses along a tangled railway system. From skin cattle to things I doubt you would have found in any textbook. There were insect-like forms as big as a man, tentacled masses dribbling oddly colored Iker and something I can only describe as a hairy swordfish. A cargo was so twisted. It was some time before I even noticed what was wrong with the meathooks themselves.

They had no wheels, but clung to the rails by metallic, spider-like legs, tip-tapping along with blinding speed. Further I advanced, the louder the wet, slimy flapping of the alien flock. More and more streams were converging into a single mass migration, their collective wings nearly drowning out the buzzing, grinding, and splattering of the factory. I still wasn't sure what I was looking for, but I knew I was getting closer. into 5.1 so I wonder why they don't really give a fuck about him walking around

it's almost like Dante going through hell or something yeah I think they just I mean what's he gonna do like I don't think they care about the other option is that they're not made to care they're like these blind bugs that only have one task you know like it also be that he doesn't have food in them or something

yeah yeah they're not aware he exists yet because he hasn't eaten the food oh okay I had ascended six levels from my starting point when I had my first run-in with non-brain fly life. My mind almost tried to brush it off as a rat. At first, a tiny white shape scurrying to my peripheral vision. We both froze when I moved in for a closer look. The odd little beam was only a few inches tall, pale, and vaguely humanoid, with a large and nearly spherical head.

It reminded me strongly of one of the egg heads, but there was little, chance this thing had ever been human. Where there should have been eyes, there were only a pair of gaping, bloody-looking holes, and its mouth was a simple, circular hole. In its pale, translucent little hands, it carried a hunk of meat. It didn't look dangerous, but it could have breathed fire for all I knew. I cautiously raised my shovel and took a step back, not wanting to arouse any aggression, and the diminutive imp jerked into motion. In an instant, it crammed the meat into one of it in an instant

it crammed the meat into one of its empty eye holes and took a flying leap off the catwalk landing with a soft, wet splat on a lower level and scampering off into the darkness. Oh, just the idea of shoving food

into an open wound like an aisle. From that point on, the tiny creatures seemed to be everywhere. I'd catch them watching me from around corners or busily snatching scraps of food from the conveyor belts. As opposed to a rat comparison wasn't that far off. But if the brain flies flew and the little goblin things were only vermin,

exactly who or what had the catwalks been constructed for? I would get my answer soon enough. 5.3. 5.3. Following the airborne river of winged brains, I was ultimately brought to what seemed at first to be a still wall, held together with colossal beams and rivets. To either side, it appeared to gradually curve away.

The exterior of a roughly circular structure. High above me, my stream of brainflies were pouring through a grated porthole a hundred feet wide, gaps just large enough to accommodate their wingspans. I can make out additional portholes to my distant left and right, more slimy flocks streaming in. This had to be at home base, the mothership. The catwalk continued through a significantly smaller porthole into something like a vast stadium. Distant electric lights confirming a circular shape about a mile across.

Its floor was solid, polished concrete, while its ceiling was obscured by a torrential storm of living bodies, dozens of brainfly streams converging into the open roof of a looming concrete tube at the center of it all. A good 20 stories in height An eerie green glow poured from the top of the monolithic tower Like some doorway to another realm A wormhole back to whatever obscene universe The Things truly called home

A three-dimensional web of suspended pathways Encircled it all Intertwining with a network of immense Grimy pipes a semi could have tripped through It was all so magnificent, so horrific Almost don't realize I was still moving forward my jaw hanging in dumb fascination,

nor did I immediately grasp the significance of a metallic sound from behind me, a sound like a gate being shut. My brain mulled over the thought for a few more moments before I wheeled around in a rush of panic. The tunnel had indeed closed off. The soft roar of the brainfly tornado was joined by a new sound,

not unlike the bleeding of an alarm bell. And then came to me. I had the good sense to start moving, as soon as the nearest gaping pipe began to shudder and gurgle, trickling a thin stream of red-brown slime for a few moments before finally erupting with a torrent of chunky sludge. All meat, meat and meat juice. A few yards away, another pipe vomited to life.

At first, I thought the intention would be to drown me. I didn't doubt for a second that there was enough meat in the factory plumbing to fill this place completely. but it was quickly apparent that my demise wouldn't be so simple. The meat seemed to spread out much farther than mere gravity would dictate. Wherever I ran, it seemed to flow directly towards me, winding in streams like the pseudopods of an enormous amoeba. Not my imagination.

It was the worst-case scenario, but at this point, far from surprising. I'd already seen moving, twitching things come out of the takeout windows, things that couldn't possibly have been alive, but wriggled frantically, even as they were torn apart and devoured the increasingly fatter, greasedier mouths of my neighbors. A chain of green-tinge sausages rose shakily from a nearby heap like an intoxicated cobra. He gagged a little. Emerging mostly from the outer edges of the chamber, the living flesh was forcing me closer towards the tower, where I would have no choice but to ascend the catwalks.

I was probably going to die other way and it was probably going to be hideous. At least I might sneak a glimpse at an alien world on my way out. A weird river of meat and meat juice that's just like alive and is consciously pushing him to go towards a direction. You think it is aliens?

I don't know, maybe the bug things are, whatever they are. Could be. Entry 5.4. by the time i had climbed only three levels i couldn't see any empty floor space below me only a solid lake of meat rippling with unnatural life like a pit of deformed blood-soaked maggots i could see pieces of i could see pieces beginning to climb after me questing blindly until it figured out stairwells are simply creeping snail-like up the side of the tower a few managed to catch up with me or even cut me off momentarily but the shovel turned out to be an excellent excellent choice. When I couldn't smash or sever, I heaved over the side. Something like an inside out penguin toddled up to my feet on the fourth level. One good smack and it crunched wetly into a perfect comical disc, still wiggling uselessly. Like he just slaps the shit out of it. Swank. Pianc. Rancid brains burst like spoiled pumpkins under my wrath, a writhing mass of intestines inexplicably

squealed and died once I chopped off what it was loosely employing as a head end. A giant heap of pinkish slime gave me some momentary trouble on the sixth level, shrugging off one blow after another until I was stricken by its overwhelming chemical stink and brandished one of my flares, hoping it might be flammable. As though I knew exactly what I was thinking, it retreated like a snail into a rusted metal drum it had been lugging around. That's cool. it's like messy with him

and when he attacks like a hermit crab it like crawls back into the metal drum yeah though individually pathetic the meat creatures were persistent

and increasingly bizarre somewhere on the eighth possibly ninth level I turned around to find a big fish head attempting to sneak up behind me tiptoeing comedically on a pair of

eerily human feminine legs it froze up when I coughed as though realizing two legs too late that I've been watching it for a good four or five of its exaggerated sneaking steps. Literally

a fish head with woman legs like, oh, sorry. Hope you don't mind me. Some fat, white bug like a woodlouse, tumbled out of the fish's mouth, chittering angrily and fled on its hind legs before I knocked the fish thing over the edge.

That's talking about those little isopod things that eat fish's tongs instead of their mouths. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. The further I progressed, the weirder the things emerging from the factory's plumbing, things that must have grown and festered far longer in its lightless metal bowels.

I could barely liken some of them to any animal or body part. Pustuled yellow tubes looped along like inchworms, and tentacled black blobs foundered like stranded fish and pools of their own yellow green secretions. I was waging a war against hot dog scraps from Planet X. Entry 5.4 over, now entry 5.5. I was beginning to get cocky. No matter how horrendous, every meat beast had an easy weak point. I was increasingly confident I could make it home alive,

wondering if perhaps they'd only put the world under some sort of hypnotic spell because we were simply too powerful, too dangerous for them to defend against. I was beginning to feel like a hero after all, like I was living my own video game. This self-important high was cut short on about the 15th level when the first real wrench was thrown into my hit-things-with-a-shevel strategy. The thing blocking my path was not made of meat, not on the outside, at least. It appeared to be made entirely of iron, rugged, and nearly black. A torso, like a department store mannequin, stood atop three-jointed, nobly-like.

legs, and its single arm terminated in a pair of jagged tongs, periodically clacking shut. The oversized head resembled some sort of huge pot or boiler with a pair of cartoonish painted on eyes. An orange, yellow glow could be seen through its many cracks and vents. That's cool. That's such a cool design. There's a little cartoon of it up there. You see that? Yeah, yeah, I saw it up there. A little cartoon version. That's such a cool design. That's like a bunch of metal put together, but like there's some entity with inside of it. That's sick. I didn't suspect there was as much a shovel could do to this one, and it neither backed off nor approached. It simply stood there, waiting, daring me to make a move. I could see a dense river of meat body, surging

along the path only three levels below, making the same slow spiral around the tower as I was. Bragile or not, there was no way I could keep their numbers at bay forever. I wondered if I'd be taken alive. Doesn't images flash through my mind. The eggheads, things I'd seen here, things I'd seen, and PETA propaganda videos. Any one of them could be my fate. Let's just talk about this, Sonnymon. The voice snapped me back to reality. If you could call this a reality, it'd come from in front of me, from the robot cook, or whatever it was. What? It spoke again. Besides its mangled grasp of pronouns, it spoke English with remarkable clarity.

Its voice was soft and feminine, with just a slight metallic quality. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It was all I could manage, still dazed. We could put you right back where you belong. Little thing, Doc. We can even fix you up like the rest. You'll never know. I knew exactly what it was talking about, the brainwashing.

as far as I knew I was making first contact with a non-human intelligence and I had a billion questions about what they were doing to us where they came from what else was out there in the universe or multiverse or whatever we might be living in only one thing actually came out fuck yourselves

inside a hollow metal sigh little smoke escaping from its face vent it seemed to sink a little at my response if that's how you want it it rose threateningly on its three legs and i realized what it reminded me of a barbecue grill oh that's cool in the blink of an eye its clawed arm shot out and clamped around the handle to my precious shovel effortlessly tearing it from my grip and dropping it to the walkway fuck it shot out again and this time got me by the neck it slam me to the ground taking apparent care not to choke me just yet but at least

caused considerable pain. Its legs clanged noisily as it positioned itself directly over me and planted its metal ass directly onto my stomach, pinning me down even tighter. Lines of black grease began to roll down the thing's artificial face, sizzling furiously. I screamed weakly through the creature's grasp when a single tiny droplet met the exposed skin of my arm. It felt like being branded. The monster giggled. It spoke out the laughter like it was reading from a bad script. If its eyes had been real, it would have been looking directly into mind. And if it had lips, I'm sure they would be smiling.

It bent forward, the grease now cascaded into a thick curtain, threatening any moment to start raining and hissing streams onto my exposed face. The claw around my neck tightened, finally pinching shut my airways. It's going to burn my eyes out while it strangled me to death. I let go the thing's arm to shield my face as best I could, wishing I'd have the foresight to be wearing heavier gray gloves as I awaited the torrent of boiling grease, the thing's giggling, reaching a fever pitch. It stopped. The grease didn't come. Removing my hands from my eyes, I saw that the monster's head had turned away from me. It shrieked.

I couldn't tell what it was looking at until it unexpectedly loosened its grass while my neck and lurched to its feet. I could see small, white shapes out of the corner of my eyes. Gross, gross. It wailed like a child as the rubbery hobgobodlund

scrambled up its metal body like boneless gecko lizards. It started to stumble about, trying its best to pick off the teeming pest with its single arm, but they slipped through the claw like jelly. I wasn't sure how long it would be distracted and I dove for my shovel before teetering painfully to my feet. I could see the swelling legion of meat just one level below.

Vile things. Vile! They're in my vance! I was almost too fascinated to act. The hobgoblins had pried the lid off that rusty grilled head, exposing an oily, blackened little form underneath. It was too tangled and burnt to make out. But I could see very... limbs waving frantically to keep the gremlin things at bay. I raised the shovel, prepared to strike. All at once, the little creatures snapped their heads in my direction and drop-like flies from the metal being, falling to the path and scattering out of sight.

The grill face, too, turned towards me. Thank you. You have no idea, right? I led out a berserk howl as I brought down the shovel squarely onto that black twitching body, splatting it with a wet crunch and a deafening bang against the white hot grill it rested upon the metal construct stood still and silent for several agonizing moments

before it finally began to pitch backward creaking like a rusty door before banging the ground dead or asleep or whatever the shit I just did I prodded it a few times before cautiously stepping around it and continuing up something didn't want me to reach the top and I felt pretty good about it

Into 5-5, heading into 5-6. 5-6, let's go. The rest of my climb was relatively uneventful, broken only by the odd hot dog squid or scuttling pork ribs. It was a full 23 flights up that I was at last, roughly level with the top of the tower, the walkway branching around it in a perfect wall-to-wall spider's web. Up close, the side of the brain flies was more awesome and more hideous than I could have imagined.

Based in that alien light, the roaring funnel of unearthly life was almost too beautiful to have burst its way from formerly human skulls. The death toll they represented must have been staggering. That terrible beauty rather harshly clashed with the figure standing a few yards ahead on a raised, rectangular platform. Back turned towards me as it overlooked the tower and appeared to fidget with a large control console. I blinked hard, trying to register its strangely familiar shape. It had no apparent head or neck, its body only a broad, rounded mass, like a squash barrel. A pair of dark, mushy limbs extended from its sides. A white object bubbled around on its upper surface.

I didn't want to accept what I was looking at. It was... It was too much. Even now, it was just... It was so stupid. It was a hamburger. In a chef's hat. Like a logo.

That's so funny. It was just, it was a hamburger and a chef's set. That's funny. If I could sneak up on it, I could plunge my mighty blade straight down into its big, stupid breadhead. There's no way it could hear me coming above the teeming bugs. I took my first, light, cautious step.

It whirled around. For a long time, we just stared at one another. The rancid-looking beast regarded me with bulging, bloodshot eyes the size of soccer balls, oozing and twitching as it looked me up and down. I didn't know what else to do. What was going to finally break the staring contest? I lowered my shovel and raised a hand in greeting. Hello?

The moldering sandwich stood still for a few more moments before the those slimy eyeballs rolled in their lidless sockets as if I just said or done something even more ridiculous than the thing's very existence. Almost began stammering a follow-up statement when one of its slimy appendages suddenly reached for a huge bright red switch on its console and nonchalantly pressed it. It raised one sludgy beef hand and gave a sort of Tudaloo finger wave as its entire platform abruptly plunged through the floor and disappeared out of sight. The elevator shaft sealed off behind it. A moments later, the catwalk began to flood with activity.

Into 5-6, going into 5-7. 5-7. From somewhere on the opposite side of that glowing, flying brain tornado came dozens of new shapes. Meat beans were pouring from some unseen new opening, already looking larger and meaner than any of the oozing rejects I'd been mowing down. I didn't suppose my little gremlin friends were waiting nearby with any flame throwers. first thing to reach me was a squiggly, bare-sized yellow mass of soft, tangled limbs, rolling along at a seemingly abnormal speed.

It looked almost like an octopus until a long neck snaked out from its warty folds, snapping at me with an orange beak. A giant, boneless chicken. Just like a giant, yeah. Just like big, fleshy chicken. Yeah, that's fine. Why was this my life? Breach

With a surge of contemptuous bloodlust I hacked mercilessly into the abominable thing Long after it had ceased moving Only for something else to whistle just over my head Damn, he's just going around and fucking killing everything Just slashing left and right Tearing meat apart I spun around in the shred of remnants of the october

Coming face to featureless doll crotch With a pair of skinned legs six feet high and fused at the hips. I staggered back, foolishly slipping in the scattered chicken guts and landing flat on my back. The legs terminated in needle-sharp lances of bone, precariously balancing on the metal mesh of the walkway. They raised one wicked lance under the air again, aiming straight for my eyes, and it was a miracle I put the shovel between us quickly enough. The legs seemed to momentarily vanish with the speed of its strike.

It took a moment to regain its balance as it bounced off the shift. shovel, the thin tips of its bone holding up distressingly well. I barely managed to sit upright as it took a stab from my heart, and I scrambled to my feet just in time to deflect a third strike. Enraged, I swung the shovel like a barbarian's axe and the legs toppled. While they flailed over the guardrails, I could swear to God I heard them utter a soft, high-pitched. From another direction came a throbbing heart the size of a small car, ambling along on its branching veins. An equally gigantic steak knife protruding from

its center like a metallic snout. It reared back, raising itself a full eight feet on its tendrils, let it a high-pitched rat-like squeak. Nope. I was dead on. That was my bear trap this episode. The Invader Zim reference.

This is this entire thing. Feels like Invader Zim. It's Invader Zim fanfic. Yeah. My name was Deb and Zim had done all of this. I attempted to flee down another branch of the metal web, but my course was soon interrupted by a clattering scarecrow-like assemblage of bone shards and flimsy sinew,

chattering its mini-fractured dog-like skulls as it swung a large sawtooth jawbone at my stomach. I struck back with my own weapon, its skulls splintering even further beyond recognition. My adrenaline was surging. As single-minded as the gore-faced hordes themselves, I demolished one twisted child of Satan's deli after another. I toppled shuffling golems of pork scraps, whaling ghouls of tripping lard, a serpentine mass of fused chicken feet,

and even the giant squeaking heart. Its arteries dousing me with geysers of hot blood as it's throbbing at last subsided. I was almost disappointed by how easy it had all been. I shouldn't have been. As I stood in a puddle of mashed viscera, blood, and who knows what else streaming off my face, I heard a mysterious clang echo through the vast space.

felt the walkway shudder under my feet it was followed by another clang the shaking intensified clang it reminded me rather uncomfortably of huge heavy footsteps on the graded floor two guesses what it was

come on I dare you into five seven into five eight what do you want to get you want to try guessing what it is um I think it's going to be a big uh it's going to be one of the metal things because the metal thing seemed to be the biggest issue because he can just cut the meat with a shovel, right?

I think it's going to be some kind of metal implement. What do you think? I mean, maybe another hamburger man. What? Bring back the hamburger man. How do you feel about the hamburger man? I think it works. I think that the story is like setting up this kind of like ghoulish

like circles of hell, you know, which also how many circles of hell are there? Nine. and which is how many entries we have that's true that's a good point so i think it's that i also think uh i think it's like cartoonish enough too like it's kind of it's it's overtly gross and stuff but also it hasn't let up on the cartoon angle really so i think that like the little like weird talking hamburger thing fits in the same way as like a tills from the gas station kind of vibe yeah it's similar to that where like it is keeping like i mean our story started

off with like people just shoving food in their face and then there's giant walking pieces of meat. So the hamburger mascot, we've seen this whole time being the end boss is kind of fun. The idea of it like rolling his eyes as stuff. It's a fun story. Like I said, very invaders. If more bloody and over the top. What was that comic that the creator of invaders him did before?

Johnny the homicidal maniac. Yeah. He's not a couple, but that was the big one. It feels like a midpoint between invadersim and that. Like, like, shout out Joan and Vasquez. Yeah, yeah. All right. Entry 5.8.

As the stomping grew louder, an even larger figure emerged from the other side of the flying brain tornado, a shape looming 15 feet tall in the dim, flickering green light. Like the pressure cooker bitch, or whatever that was, it had a largely metallic appearance, though at the same time, strangely organic. Its spinly, nearly skeletal body didn't seem like it would have been heavy enough to rattle the floor so violently. its long, bony feet terminating, and thin, sword-like talons. Most of its weight was likely concentrated in its head, immediately recognized as the shape of a sausage grinder,

slowly ravering with each laborious step. A pair of slimy eyeballs, like the Burger Man's, stared down at me from one side of this huge contraption, and where there should have been a handle was only a black skeletal arm, ending in another one of those white cartoon gloves. I like the cartoon effects too of everything. Like the machines being very cartoonish

and the designs. The art on the side sells it a lot too. Yeah. Yeah, like that looks great what this dude looks like. Its worst characteristic, by far, was the way it breathed. A hollow, metallic wheeze of increasing speed and intensity. The painting

of some starving dog who just caught a whiff of fresh roadkill. It stepped effortlessly. from one catwalk to another, like a spider scrambling in slow motion along the strands of its web, and as it drew closer, something unimaginably worse began to happen. The meat, all the meat I had just slaughtered for at least its second time, was beginning to move once more. As one, the mutilated horrors around me began to rise, stumble, and drag themselves towards

the grinder-headed giant, who's single arm shot out the moment one groping, rolling, pile of giblets came within its impressive reach. It lifted the shining sticky mass up to the filth caked funnel on the top of its grinder head and dropped it straight in. It continued to stomp its way in my general direction, scooping up more monsters and dumping them into its upper orifice until they were nearly spilling over the sides, a churning bathtub full of flesh and innards. The thing was slow, but as I ran from one end of the spider's web to the next, I found every

possible exit sealed tight and by now the meat rising from below had almost reached my level there was no way out there was nothing to fight i can only keep running that's such a cool idea the idea that like if all of the meat is destroyed the meat grinder creature shows up and like just remakes them into different shapes that's so yeah like reverses them is pretty fun and yeah like recycles amalgamations of stuff yeah that's such a that's such a cool idea i turned to look back at the grinder bean still ponderously but relentlessly pursuing me in a straight line as i was forced to zigzag it snatched up the last straggling monster some sort of spider-legged white pod resembling nothing i really recognized and dumped it in with the

rest without slowing down the monster clinched its now blood-soaked glove and began spinning its entire arm in its socket, around and around with a ratchet-like noise, the collected mutants churning and twisting as they were sucked deeper into the grinder. I turned to continue running, but made it only a few more yards before a sickening, flagellant sputtering sound echoed through the chamber, and something thick, warm, and wet slammed hard into my back. Used a catwalk dropped away. Caboom! The catwalk dropped away as I was swam.

swung through the air and brought to face with the grinder man's unblinking gaze. I was being held tight in an enormous pulpy pink hand, wavering on the end of a tentacular limb comprised entirely of raw, grounded meat. It had formed the limb from every walking nightmare I had spent the last of my energy putting down and flung it like a lizard's tongue with pinpoint accuracy instantly subduing me from a good 20 meters away. A little whip action. I squirmed and thrashed desperately, but only felt further mired in the dense tarry muck. The crank arm continued to twist and more squirming noodles of processed tissue slithered along the length of its makeshift appendage,

cocooning me in more layers of raw flesh. I was reminded yet again of a spider. Yeah, the reference image there too is so gross. The idea of like the flesh is coming down the hand as a. it's being cranked and it's like just encasing him. As I sank deeper into that stinking, sloppy mire, I suddenly found myself transfixed by what was directly behind the metallic giant. I could finally see into the tower, into the vortex,

down into where those wretched alien brain hatchers were all going in such a hurry. At first I was only confused. The significance of what I was seeing almost didn't want to register. better rancid meat juices were beginning to flood my mouth tendrils of beef sludge were probing at my eyes and nose my world was going black

was being smothered to death but on the inside I just couldn't stop laughing alright well now entry 5.8 over you're ready for 5.9 that picture is insane that is so gross that's what I'm saying that reference one is so gross man for audio listeners

it's like I mean it looks like the inside of a throat, but just the ridges. It looks like a, I mean, it looks like yeah, like a, it looks like an intestine. Yeah. But it's just, it's pretty disgusting. It's black and white. It's just, it leaves a lot to ponder, I guess I should say.

All right. Well, you're ready for 5.9? 5.9. I awoke the following morning on the floor of my own home, alive. My body was cached with meat gunk. I closed sticky with blood. Not a dream.

But little must have been in my stomach promptly emptied itself onto the carpet. I guess I'd be tearing those up soon if there was any real point. I staggered to the shower, my mind racing with all I'd seen in the meat factory. They had, apparently, neither wished to kill me nor erase my memories.

I guess they knew, as well as I did, there's nothing I could do to them. After all, if cattle couldn't do much to change their fate, what hope could there be for the cattle feed? all right so it says a bonus entry is the available if all the passwords are entered as one word so i guess there's like an argy element to this um that let you unlock another part of the story but here with creepy pasta dot com we just have that last part of the story pasted a read yeah so yeah just entry six here so skipping that part entry six so this was the secret entry after all of that i tried to get a founding

Coke at the 7-Eleven. Some sort of pinkish gunk coiled out like soft serve, smelling like hot bologna. I cut open what I thought was a watermelon. The inside was a lot like a brain. I unwrapped an almond joy and got nothing but the length of bone filled with a clear yellow mush. I put money into a Coke machine. I saw the bottle to the bottom. I reached through the door. All I pulled out was a heart, still beating. I hurled it to the pavement and stomped it into nothing but a red, sticky stain. I came home starving, not even surprised by the flock of chickens hobbling around my front lawn, plucked and headless.

I staggered to my kitchen and cracked it to another box of cereal from my dwindling stash. Cat food stink, cartoon hamburger. The words... Superior food matter! Had replaced frosted flakes. Tony the tiger was just a grainy photograph of a bobcat. that's really funny to imagine a picture of a bobcat

and it's a superior food matter over it a box of Lucky Charms now said added tissue rind above some shitty JPEG stock art of a nobody leprecon the cheer the Cheerios had become

orgasm part add fluids the rest of the box was dominated by a close-up of clammy gray intestines I rummaged through the whole supply in a day's Red blood materials Marvelous Food Nugget None of this was there when I bought it

I didn't bring home anything with a single letter out of whack Last box used to be Coco Puffs My favorite Damn Fred Flintstone still looked like Fred Flintstone Just far too real I could see every pore of his lifelike A Fleshy nose

This was now apparently a box of Flavored meal substance Whatever, what the hell ever I ate it I ate it and it was delicious So was the mysterious Can of Your sick favored meat paste

Waiting for me on my coffee table So was the cup of what looked smelled And tasted like liquid bacon Straight from my own tap The black thing in the refrigerator was as sweet as maple ham, even if it looked like the bastard child of a caterpillar and a starfish.

The best thing by far was the steak. The huge red, juicy steak ready for me in the seat of my car. Wasn't even the flavor that made it so good. It was the screaming. What a classic way to end a creepy pasta kind of thing. Hyper-realistic blood. It was screaming. I ate steak. The end.

Yes, of course. And that is the burger diaries or entries. Burger entries. that was awesome it's a real real big juxtaposition between last week let me just tell you uh but i think this is fun i think this is a lot of fun well yeah i mean i you know it's it's it's interesting to see i mean i'm curious to see how people like this one too because this is you know descriptors and stuff albeit you know willie wonka like a fucking uh what is it a Tim Burton

Pee Wee's Playhouse kind of vibe inside of this. I'm always so curious when people find, you know, like whenever you're writing this kind of thing, do you think it's supposed to be, do you think it's more so for the, just like the creepy weird factor?

Or do you think it's supposed to legitimately be scary? Because that's like one thing I find, even in my own work. As I do, there was a giant hamburger man that rolled his eyes at him. Yeah, sure. No, listen,

I understand that there's some comedic elements. I guess it's more so the idea, of going into such painstaking detail describing, you know, these cartoon like appendages and these kinds of things. And that's not to say that it doesn't feel like it can't be like a respectable, fun thing to, like, read at, but is it trying to be that kind of uncanny, that uncanny, almost like a horror who framed Roger Rabbit kind of vibe? You know what I mean?

Or is it just all in for the, uh, the styling of horror, but it's like, you know, more of a comedy? I think, I think it's very much. So who framed Roger Rabbit. I think I was on point with the invaders M thing. It's very like cartoonish over the top. There's giant talking pieces of meat, but the descriptions of people eating the meat

are super gross and disgusting. So it works on the gross out horror side, but otherwise it's trying to be zanny. I mean, look at the, you know, the art that's done with it. It's a very like playful comedy horror type thing, comedy, body horror. It's very unique vibe.

I wish maybe it leaned more into the humor then because it was silly and I found myself like smiling of like this is just kind of chaotic and fun. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, almost like taking a page from tails from the gas station and having it be a bit more campy or something. Because some of the visuals were so disgusting that I was also like, you know, I wish there wasn't this cartoon element to take me out of like how fucking disgusting this is. Not to say that it made it any less, you know, enjoyable, but still just this idea of like I just couldn't tell really which kind of angle it was trying to take at times for me personally. yeah i liked it i thought it was very um it was ludicrous it was very absurdist in a lot of its descriptions and stuff like that i thought i thought it was pretty good uh i enjoy the angle i like the idea how

it starts it's like these parasitic growths going everywhere and then people turn into these eggheads that birth these flies and the flies lead them to the super factory where these things are created um i assume at the end when it's talking about i couldn't bear to see it uh i just started laughing. My idea is that the thing they're flying into is like a giant digestive system, right? That hints that picture. So maybe all of these brain things are to feed whatever this creature is. Maybe everything that's happening is the effect of some giant organism beneath the earth,

right? Yeah. That's another thing I'm curious about too. Because there's so much talk of it being, you know, some alien, which I think he just, when he says alien, I think he just means unknown or not worldly kind of thing. But I still do wonder what kind of, you know, which that's, that was that was kind of fun. Just kind of imagining what is creating these things. You know, and I like to think too that this isn't some of a thing where it's like, well, that's just how you're perceiving it.

But really there's this other way. I like to think that they're actually like weird, cartoony big things. And that's how a alien or something would like would project something into our world. You know what I mean? Yeah. He says this line at the end. of 5.9 where he says, I guess they knew as well as I did

that there was nothing I could do to them. After all, if cattle couldn't do much to change their fate, what hope could there be for cattle feed? Because early in the story you made the metaphor that perhaps humans are cattle to the slaughter, but now I'm saying humans are the cattle feed. So these things, these brain bugs or whatever, are being fed by people

and then they feed some greater organism, some entity within the earth that can never hope to be stopped. And inevitably, the creature did. or like the uh the whatever whatever thing is in charge here did get what it's what it wanted at the end when our protagonist basically just ended up eating it and he's like it was fucking awesome so i think even he gave in yeah he gave in and he knows that he's going to become food for these people as well i think it's that that that sense of hopelessness at the end that's kind of haunting to a bit actually you have like all these uncanny like cartoon angles and stuff and how silly everything is

but it really is just like a guy waiting to die basically which is uh you know just uh it's like it's like you have this giant entity beneath the earth that you know does this whole biological process that we can't hope to understand and then you have our protagonist who kind of dives into it and yeah it's very schlocky with him like attacking it with the shovel and stuff like that but again this is a story with giant talking hamburgers so you know what what do you want um there's a lot of There's a lot of fun, campy violence, and there's a lot of gross out horror. Someone in the comment said, it's like if HP Lovecraft had to make a goose bump story.

Well, I really, I really enjoyed what you said about the, uh, it's like last, it's like a goose once version of last week's episode. And it feels so true of the red tower. Yeah. Yeah. Which I am curious, you know, what do you guys think? Huh? Where's a, what do you think this time?

You happy yet? Huh? Was that a good one? I don't know. I enjoy it. It was a nice one. We also have a longer. We recorded a little while ago a longer episode as well.

Hopefully that comes out within the next week or so. It just depends on the edit. But we do appreciate you guys listening and to all the people listening on audio platform. Just the immediate shift change. Just going so hard from one to the other. No, no. Well, I'm a professional is the big thing. And the, you know, so we appreciate everyone listening on Spotify, Apple podcast and giving us a nice rating there.

And also for checking out. If you did want to check out the merch, Creecast. dot store we do got some new stuff be on the sub right be sure to recommend any stories you want us to read as always and until next time everybody uh creep your cast your cat your cast has been creeped well what was that didn't we have a didn't we have a slogan for a bit wasn't just say creeped who who up creeping well we said stay creeped for a while stay yeah yeah we're bringing that but the merch yeah yeah but the merch said uh who up creeping they cast because yeah yeah yeah no i i get that where i'm bringing back

stay creeped. Okay, well, you have fun with that. I'm going to say who up creeping they cast. Who up meeting they, who up burgundy their entries? Who up entering their burgers? I like that. Who's up entering their burgers? Jesus Christ.

Do you remember that McChicken video? No. Oh, that point. I'll be sure to send that to Hunter's DMs. Yeah, we'll put that at a, uh, we'll put that as the, uh, outro thing. No, we won't. The classic, the classic McChicken thing. whatever that is.

No, we won't. Bye, bye, everybody. Bye, bye. But be sure to send that to Hunter's DMs. Thank you. Bye. There was a dude at a... Oh, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, uh, oh, uh, oh, uh, oh, uh,