CreepCast - My Property Isn't Normal | CreepCast

Episode Date: June 21, 2026

Someone moves in to a property in the middle of the wilderness and immediately things get weird. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to Creepcast. Today we're going to be reading a story called My Property Isn't Normal. All right. This has been a heavily requested story for a bit. Setting up a few bear traps. I, you know, I've heard a couple different things about the story so far. And I can't tell. Is this going to be, is this like an intentionally funny thing?

Is this like a Tales from the Gas Station kind of meme? Or is this supposed to be like a lone, like a broadcast tower kind of thing? where it's like, isn't spooky the things that are going on around me? Or what do you think? I think that considering the way Harry prop this story up for us and the fact that I go to the Reddit account, this is the only story they've posted. And their profile picture is a rubber duck.

I don't know. So they're either a lot of things. So they're either quirky or they're a Jeep owner. Not really sure which one it could be One is far worse than the other The I I don't know it's not that I have a fatigue for it, but You know what kind of story style? I'm kind of like I'm

I'm usually glad that we don't read is the ones where it's like in one time There was this thing that was really creepy that happened and then this other time This other thing that was creepy happened. Okay, that's all I really have to tell you today until next time. I'll see see you and then the next post is I would get a lot of comments talking about asking about more stuff so I figured I tell you about what happened last week so I'm not I'm not a bet man or anything but if I were I would bet that is exactly the kind of story we're going to get today I I got some context clues I'm getting I got everything I got to tell you I I'm fatigued by that by that version.

Well, it's, it's not even that format of story that bothers me. It's more so the like, well, that just happened,

attitude. Yeah, they bring with them a lot of the time. The quirky chungas thing where it's supposed to be like, it's supposed to be kind of like cute or something. You know,

because I agree, I guess that's true. Because there's stories that do it effectively. We're like, oh, that's kind of fun. But it was also, I mean,

this is, it looks like here. It looks like my property isn't normal story was written eight years ago, which seems like the prime time of when a lot of those other stories were. kind of coming out. I'll say this.

I'll say this. Is there any time you can think of where quirky horror worked well? Hmm. Maybe not quirky. I think there's been

there's been times where the it might have been kind of like the the story where it was like wasn't it a guy's house was haunted or something and he was like trying to like party with the demon or something

in his house. What was that story we read? it was part of a grab bag I think but I can't remember what it was house once haunted and he was partying with the demon it was something weird like that where it's like yeah he's talking about some kind of monster in his house but he's like yeah he's pretty

chill it's like even the title shows how like it's kind of a comedy one and we were like oh yeah this is we thought it was pretty funny I can't remember what the story was though so goes to show you how I have no memory of what this is what you're

talking about editor put Put it up because when we hear, we're going to say, oh, like, I have absolutely no idea what he's referring to. There was the girl with the guy that faced away from her. No, no, no. This is literally like, it's a title that is, oh my God. I mean, it's, I'm not going to be able to collect my thoughts right now. I just fucking woke up like an hour ago. My brain is still starting.

It's like literally like my apartment like is, I don't know, fucking. stupid and I want to party with a ghost or some shit. I can't remember what the fucking title. It has no. Stupid and I want to party. It doesn't. That's not the title. I'm just saying that that's,

it's something fucking stupid like that. It doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking matter. I know what the truth is. I know my own truth. All right. The one time you can't remember a goddamn story is what I got to say. You know what?

Whatever. It doesn't matter. For you, it's the one time. The one time. Every other time you like to sit up on your high horse and say, Oh, Hunter, look how silly you are. And the one time I'm like, oh, remember this story?

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about gaslighting me. Like I'm a heathen. See, now I'm going back through. Name two of the stories that we read during the basement video a few weeks ago. I legitimately. I don't. I can't remember. I have no idea.

Legitimately. Also, I'm telling you, that's, that's, I'm telling you I have a bad memory. That's what I'm saying. the one time I do remember and that's also why no wonder I can't remember the fucking title what you came up with was my apartment is weird or scary or whatever and I want to party with this ghost I like you're acting like this is

like this is an absurd thing to say when we have like all the other creepypasta names that we my apartment is stupid and there's a like a ghost is weird whatever that sounds like a legitimate creepypast name it's devolving every time you say it my apartment is stupid and a ghost is weird now I don't even know if the apartment of the ghost are related. It could be

two separate events. They could be. That's what makes it so fascinating though. I'm trying to, I don't know. I mean, yeah, I like to the those guys said that I work at a half-priced show that reminds me of the story today. We should actually consolidate this

and was like fun, I think. No, but it wasn't that one. I think it was a part of a grab bag. I'm pretty sure. No, I'm just saying that the half-priced Voodoo shop is a quirky whore that I think. I thought that one worked well. Yeah. It was very goosebumps feeling. Yeah. I think that it worked well too because it like it built itself up to a fun ending. If I remember right. Like the owner always being weird, you kind of knew that it was coming to that ending. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Okay. Well, do you want to, you want to jump into it? Or by the way, thank you to our audio listeners on Spotify and Apple podcast. We appreciate you. And also thank you to our beautiful patrons who get extra. bonus episodes on the side. So if you're interested on that, then consider going to our Patreon,

listening to more stuff. Be sure to, this is the only story that Murder Bird 17 has posted to Reddit, but we'll have it all linked in the description. Be sure to support the original artist if you are interested. I don't see any off-site links for anything. Check out this amazing. I've someone did a comic based on their series. It's not them directly. but and there's some fan art and stuff like that. But anyway, if you want to support the artist or the original writer and follow them and stuff, we'll have them linked in the description. Be sure to show some love.

So with all that out of the way, Hunter, are you ready to read my property? Is it normal? Yeah. I couldn't hear if you said yes or not. I said, I said yes. Yes. I'm going to assume you said yes. I'm going to assume you said yes.

It's almost like I can hear his ghost speaking to me now. Oh, my property isn't normal. You could say I live in the middle of nowhere. I prefer to call it the middle of the wilderness, though. And after living alone out here long enough, I thought I would become familiar with the land out here and even get comfortable. But I never have gotten comfortable. Maybe used to this place, but never comfortable.

Pretty sure I can hold my own out here for the time being, but even so, lots of weird shit happens out here. glad to finally have a way to tell strangers who probably won't judge or call me crazy though I can already tell you Isaiah that I'm not going to like this story immediately yeah off the bat I can already tell you I can already tell you with that exclamation point at the end of though I can already tell you this is it this might be the one that pushes me over the edge well we're you know we're here at the front of the gates to perdition so do we do we abandon all hope no no no no no I mean I know

I'm here. We're here. I mean, like, listen, they asked for it, right? I'm just saying that I'm going to, this is going to, it's going to be fine. The story has been requested an obscene amount of times. But what I've learned with our audience is they'll do that, knowing what, how we're going to feel about it to stoke the flames. So, whatever. But you know what? Going in with these low expectations, maybe it will surprise.

me. Maybe there'll be stuff I'd like. Who knows? Back to the topic at hand. Weird stuff. I'll start with the first odd experience I had here. When I first purchased this land, I was really excited. There was already a house on this property that was the perfect size for me. Not only that, but it seemed pretty new. Like the former owners didn't stay around very long. Yeah, red flags, but how was I supposed to know how messed up this place was? Anyway, I'm moving. move in without any issues and within a week I'm out on some of the trails that were already there looking for deer tracks and other game trails. I'm actually having a pretty relaxing time until I swear I heard a baby say mama in the most

stereotypical voice I've ever heard off in the distance. Mama. Mama. Now like I said, I'm here in the middle of nowhere so there shouldn't be anyone for miles. I just shook it off as me hearing things. 20 minutes later, I heard the same voice say mama again. Only this time it's 40 yards away on the other side of some trees and brush. Mama.

It didn't even sound like a real baby. It just sounded like some disturbed dude. Of course, at this point, he's definitely on my property as well. I start making my way through the undergrowth. Then when I'm sure I'm about to hit where he was, the brush clears out to a clearing and I finally get a glimpse of the man. He was butt naked and halfway behind a tree and flaunting a huge smile while his eyes stayed kind of squinty.

He was also pretty skinny, as I could see his ribs. Now, usually you hear people say that at this moment my blood ran cold, but honestly mine didn't. I was looking at some butt-naked crackhead trespassing on my property. He decided to let out another... Mama. During silence when I was trying to figure out my next move, so I probably probably... responded with a hearty. What the actual fuck are you doing?

That's when he decided my next move for me. This is gonna be a long one. He started running at me, and I might have run away if he hadn't been so scrawny. So when he reached me with that big smile and looked like he was about to grab me, I punched him in the throat. It was a good punch. I was proud of it, honestly.

It would have kept any normal man on the ground for at least a moment for at least a minute. This is when I got the first hint that this wasn't a normal man. While I was standing there, proud of my Mike Tyson-level haymaker, the guy immediately got back to his feet, and before I had time to hit him again, he'd dive-tackled me to the ground.

And it hurt pretty bad. You somehow pinned my shoulders to the ground, and no matter how hard I'd kicked and punched him, he wouldn't let up. So I was forced to use plan B. I pulled up my trusty Bear Grills survival knife and stabbed him in the gut twice. This finally got his attention,

and he hopped back to his heels, slinging blood all over me in the process. I got back to my feet, knife in hand, and waited for him to do something else. All he did, though, was stick a finger in his wound, then lick the blood off,

then cartwheel into the woods, crying like an actual newborn baby this time. Now, by this point, I was pretty on edge. And right as he got far enough away that I can no longer hear him, I turned and walked home. I know I should have run, but running through the woods is so tiring and I just didn't feel like it. When I got home, all was normal again for a while.

Another story that comes to mind when I think about odd things happening around the area is the event that led to me no longer camping in the woods. By the time that the events of this story took place, I'd already experienced quite a few things on this property. And this was easily the third freakiest thing to happen up to that point, right behind the naked stab victim that cried like a newborn baby and cartwheeled out into the woods. This time I had decided that I wanted to go camping. Despite all the stuff that had happened, I had never been seriously injured in those woods.

So why not go sleep in them? Bad choice, I know. Anyways, the first few hours when I got into the woods went fine. I set up camp, built a fire, burnt myself trying to cook a hot dog, piss on fire that burnt me. Then I started to realize camping's pretty boring when you're all alone, so I decided to go to sleep. Next thing I know, I wake up to the sound of a young girl's voice down in the creek. Sounds like she's college type age. She's saying, help.

I need some help down here. I'm lost. Dad, help. And I can hear her down in the creek for my tent. Now, this isn't the first time I've been lured into the woods by a voice pleading for help. but this voice was a lot more convincing than the others. Nonetheless, I still brought my newly purchased 45-caliber handgun that I had bought for dealing with the things on the land.

I made my way into the creek, flashlight in hand and headed down to the voice. Soon I find the source. Now, I didn't put the flashlight beam on her right away because I didn't want to blind her, but I could clearly see the outline of a small girl sitting on the bank of the creek. I got about 15 feet away and she stopped me. stating that.

You really don't need the flashlight with the moon out like this. It wasn't even close to a full moon, so that confused me a little. I replied with, I don't know about you, but I can't see a thing out here. Let me help you, though. Are you hurt? Then I started to shine the flashlight on her, but she screamed. Stop!

Before I got to her face. This time, her voice wasn't convincing. I could tell she wasn't human. Now, what you guys need to realize is that I'm not a badass, And I'm not trying to sound cool or tough. But ever since something happened three years ago, same event that caused me to move out here. I don't respond to situations the same anymore.

Maybe I'm not scared of death anymore. Maybe I'm mentally unstable. Maybe I'm gosh. Maybe I'm weird. So can I just say something real quick? Yeah. We're under the same pretense that this is like a, this is like a five foot eight,

290 pound guy that wears like vests, fedora, fingerless gloves. Just making sure. We're both. Kingdom Hearts chain wallet. Yeah.

Large DC shoes. The event that he's referring to where someone broke in, or sorry, where, you know, he doesn't fear death anymore is because someone broke in to steal his Pokemon cards.

He had the holograms. Someone broke into his apartment, went on his Plex account, and deleted all of his anime from his Plex account. Yeah. So now he doesn't fear of death anymore because well i guess i can't watch my girlfriend turned it to a jelly anymore okay just uh i mean like so far the story's had a couple like when we did the the stairs in the woods

there was that guy that somersaulted to and from and that's where it was creepy because of how it's presented and where it shows up in the narrative and stuff like that but here the guy cartwheeling away is so much dumb emphasis and here there's a half girl monster thing on the side of the bank but the way it's like maybe I maybe I'm mentally unstable maybe I'm weird it's like what the way things are described is taking all of the tension out of it yeah I mean so far I mean like granted we're still very early into the story but it does feel like it's uh this is uh cherry picking off all those other popular stories currently um just kind of like reframing them a bit but who knows maybe it gets better who knows maybe

But when I established that this thing wasn't human, I started to smile. It fooled me, got me out here in the woods in its domain. It was probably going to make an attempt on my life. But I might as well piss it off a little. So I flipped my flashlight up and revealed its face. It actually was a girl, sort of. She was super pale and had abnormally large eyes that were completely black. When the light hit...

It actually was a girl. She had giant black eyes. It actually was a girl. I mean, sort of. She had no hair and had gray skin and a flying saucer. But you know, girl, some would say. Yeah, I knew that she was going to take my life. But I decided what the honk in heck.

I know she was going to kill me. I'm going to frick this person off a little bit. The way it's like, uh, I knew it probably make an attempt on my life, but I smiled. It's like, I know, I'm like by small. It took me. It brought me to its domain. It's like just. a fucking morbidly obese guy just hitting a jewel.

Well, if you're going to take my life, dear stranger. Yeah, I saw the band. I saw the band coming, so I stashed up on the mango pods. I'm still working off a 29-year supply. When the light hit her face, her head snapped forward and made eye contact with me, and her jaw dropped open three times larger than any humans could. and then she screamed. It was loud, like inhuman loud.

It sounded like a girl's scream, but as if it were being played through massive speakers to make it ear splitting. Then I felt something closing around my neck. She hadn't moved, but was somehow choking me, still screaming. I've realized while living here that the entities that can hurt you can also get hurt themselves.

Now, most of them are tough as nails, but they can be hurt. This memory went through my head, just as I felt something warm tripping onto my neck and my left ear went quiet, busted eardrum. I aggressively threw my flashlight at the bitch and it connected with what I assume was her eye. I couldn't tell for sure because I didn't have a flashlight. And yes, I forgot to use the gun.

It was new and in the current life or death situation, I forgot I had it. Luckily, this girl wasn't one of the tough ones and I felt grip on my neck loosen and her screams stopped. No sooner had I taken my first breath when she bent, over backwards possession style and sprinting into the woods in reverse. When I finally caught my breath, I slowly walked back to my campsite and went to sleep in the tent. You may be asking why I didn't go back home after that, but, but it was a 20-minute hike and my flashlight was broken, so I had to wait till morning. Slept pretty good though. No noises woke me up. I woke up the next morning, expected my ear to be killing me, but miraculously,

it was completely back to normal. I later figured out that it was the lady in the tree, fixed my ear, but that's a story for another time. God. That morning, I just packed up everything and headed back home. Only thing that got messed up was my flashlight, so I wasn't even that disappointed in the trip. I still don't camp out there anymore because no matter how weirdly wired I am, that girl really did freak me out a good bit, and I'm sure she's still out there.

I heard you, did you groan the mention of the woman in the tree? Yeah, because I was like, holy fuck, we're going to have to like read this until the point. We're going to have to read about the woman in the tree. Also, do you remember, do you remember the woman that saved my eardrum, the woman in the tree? Well, that was story for you.

It's like part seven. You're like, oh, God damn, fine. Like, it's just, uh,

God. Yeah, but, yeah, maybe it'll get better. Maybe it'll get better. It's okay. It's all right.

I also thought that it's funny. He's like, it was a 20 minute walk back and my legs are already pretty swollen. So I just decided to sit down and call an Uber. But they couldn't come that far out. So I figured I should just wait till morning. This story is immediately better if you imagine that this is some like Discord mod stuck indoors who like thinks his like the woods around his house are haunted,

but he's never been out there because he's not an outdoorsman. So he just writes about what might happen if he goes out there. The idea of a Discord mod having to live out in the country with his parents or like his grandparents or something or whatever, like whatever property it is, you know? And he's like, luckily they have fiber, so I'm still able to game online. And you did something like that. And then it's all the weird shit that's happening, but he's mostly just concerned with like his Discord kittens or like moderating his chat.

So he really doesn't give a fuck about any of the things going on around him. He's like, I got to get back to my server. Like that would be, that would be a funny story. I would enjoy that. I mean, feel free to add live those in with this guy. I feel like it'll fit. You know, what is satisfying to me is for as much as me and you hate things. this, there will be an amount of viewers who equally hate it, as there will be an equal amount

of viewers on the other side of the aisle who suggested this story in the first place knowing what it would do. So we got to the, maybe there'll be stuff that comes out of it, but currently the language is killing me a little bit. I'm not going to lie. It's also too early in the morning for me to really like fake it that much or be optimistic. So we're all going to die. It will hurt and be bad. Currently, we're all burning in hell. But I have to to hope that there's a ladder to escape soon. I, uh,

I just, I hate, I hate the comments that are like, do they not vet the stories? But they should have quality control. That would completely dismiss what we're trying to do, which is going blind on these stories, all right?

Yeah. What am I supposed to do? Read the story first. It's a, I think every story should be perfect. Like, no, every,

fucking, almost all of them are going to suck. Major dick. We have to sit here. we have to just power through. That's what this is, powering through. There are a couple good ones that I have earmarked for soon, and I think I'm going to need one of them for the next recording.

I haven't read them out. I don't know that they're good, but people have like, the people who suggest this story are not the people who suggest the other stories. So I think I need to pull, shoot a flare after this episode. You never, you never know.

It might pick up. I mean, my, currently my opinion of it's on the floor. So anything will be a step up, so we'll see. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor, Factor. Life is full of choices. Like you could choose to read a four and a half hour story about a villainous apple. Never said they were all good choices.

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right at home i feel perfectly clean i feel itchy afterwards i love an itchy i love an itchy Tushy. What you will notice so far is that these entities aren't really very effective killers, but that doesn't go for everything out here. I can't tell you all about the property without mentioning skinny. Screw skinny. I understand that Skinwalkers are a common topic on the horror scene at the moment, and from what I can tell, I think that's the creature I'm dealing with.

But I could also be wrong, because if this is a skin walker, it's advanced to another level. Not only does it imitate voice, it imitates. appearance and it really wants me dead or gone. I like to call it skinny. I think it pisses him off though. And when I say his name, I say it loud because especially at night, I know he's listening. I've lived here for three years now and he's been harassing me for about a year and he's good. One of the smartest things to come after me so far. The only one that can seem to almost get in my head. He tries to lure me out not by pretending to be someone in trouble like other imitators

that I've dealt with before. He's aware that this stuff doesn't work on me anymore. No, he tries to piss me off. He wants me to try to kill him. The problem is we both know I probably can't. One time he got me, though. I was watching a documentary about veteran suicide. It's a terrible topic.

I'm a supporter of the armed forces, and I think it's terrible that our government doesn't take better care of the vests that risk everything overseas, so we don't have to. They were doing a slideshow of men who had unfortunately lost the struggle with their own demons.

I had to look away for a second because this one guy that appeared on the screen looked too young and happy to have gone to this dark of a place. He was mixed race for what I could tell, athletic looking and had a big dimpled smile on his face. When I looked away, I'm suddenly staring

at the same kid outside my window. Same smile, same build, same uniform. One difference. Across his forehead was the word, failure. I instantly knew it was skinny. He wasn't trying to imitate this kid. He was insulting him.

And he finally struck a nerve. Gosh, the character, the character we talked about this being, getting like fired up about stolen valor is awesome. That is kind of funny. I can take anything, dead kids or whatever, but stolen valor is one thing I draw the line and skinny.

You talk about the twoups and all bets are off. You talk about our brothers and sisters that have defended this country and I'm going to freaking kick your ass. As the gun comes up like Lee Greenwood's playing and I won't forget

the man who died. One miles of all and wave the flag Oh, my red, white, and blue. Bairn-airn-airn-air. when the man plays his to the chief and he finally struck a nerve I had seen him imitate so many other people

and try so many other tricks but this was the one that finally but this was the one that finally broke me I was ending disquitia I exploded out of my chair and bolted for my bedroom grabbed my 45 caliber handgun and proceeded to walk towards the same window the young soldier was still staring through

got within five feet and saw the word changed. It now spelled out. I deserved it. After reading this, I didn't hesitate to raise my gun and fire two shots, but I think he ducked them. Bastards fast. He stormed outside to try to find him, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. That's when I hear

whispered into my ear and I was flung against the wall of my house. The gun flew out of my hand in the process. What? Wow. Was he it? Oh, so he was, okay, he's next to him. Sorry. They're doing anime moves on each other. Yeah, yeah.

He's like throwing him. After the head says, God flew out of my hand in the process, broke two ribs and dislocated my shoulder. So like, so he's in an unimaginable pain against the side of the house for sure. I was a dead man and he knew it. Ever since the incident that led me to buy a house by myself out in the middle of the woods. I don't think I've ever felt fear again. Something's wrong with my head, but I did feel defeat. I fell for this trap. Just like Mark Wahlberg in that movie, Lone Survivor, about those

wave soldiers traversing. And the story of, um, just like those heroes, zero dog 30 when they decided to kill Osama bin Laden. And the story of Marcus Littrell is definitely real and definitely wasn't hammed up for lone survivor. And if you ever say that that that's not how it went, you'll fucking piss me off. What trooper you in? Yeah, cell phone out.

It didn't funny. It's still pulling the handgun. He pulls on a cell phone. He does, what's your trooper? What is it? Yeah, exactly. Fucking asshole out here. Do it stalling valor? It's like that smiling friends bit. It's like, Dude, are you doing black face?

It's like, no, no, it's not black face. It's just my normal face. This is my normal face. Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, a bunch of guys show up in the woods. And they're like, hey, you know, this guy. Yeah, it's like a veteran, like a veteran with a shopping cart. Was this you making fun of Mark Wahlberg?

Yeah, you know, that's funny? Making fun of Mark Wahlberg like that asshole. I got a hero. I'm trying to scare this guy in this house. Yeah. So what the fuck are you doing? out here? Impersoning

Mark Wahlberg, man. What? No. He had the happening. What are you going to do? Kill me in my sleep. What? No.

No. Man, what? No. Yeah. That's what the skin walkers doing on the front porch. Oh. Oh.

Just, I mean, part one, man. He's so fired up about stolen valor. He has to shoot a skinwalker. Gosh, dude. dude. It's awesome. Good for him. I feel like at first I was worried because Harry told us going in, he was like, you guys are going to be upset. And I was like, oh, well, that ruined like the surprise. Like, shouldn't we come to that conclusion naturally? No, it's immediate. There's no hiding the dog on

this one. Something's wrong with my head, but I did feel defeat. I fell for his trap. And now he's going to kill me. As these thoughts pass through my brain, I pass out from the the pain and the concussion probably. Then for some reason that I still don't understand, I woke up. It was bright outside and I was covered in blood and in more pain than I had ever been in my entire life that I was alive. Why was I alive? I struggled to stand up with my right arm hanging loosely at my side and I soon noticed

the words carved into the outside wall of my house. Next time, this is a screw, skinny, whatever. Ever since I got back from the hospital, I told doctors I fell off a roof. I've been trying to find ways to deal with or kill a skin walker, if there is a way, or if he's even a skin walker. He beat me. I'm usually pretty lighthearted with most of my experiences, no matter how intense they are, but I just can't win this one, because if I lose skinny again, I guess I'll be signing off for good. Be careful out there, and don't be fooled like me. There isn't always a next time. But hey, not dead yet, so maybe there will be a next

plan on writing down more of my experiences in the future. So keep your eyes peeled for those. Until next time, Cole signing off. Okay. Sometimes, you know, it's interesting is sometimes,

I think people enjoy this too, is you read, you read something, and then the first part, you're like, oh, that's fun. And then it starts devolving over time, right?

And you're like, ah, well, okay. To worry, you at least start with an idea, like a fun idea. This feels like,

uh, this feels, it's like pulling teeth right off the bad. You know what? It's besides all the quirky stolen valor, Chungus, you know, not even Chungus,

but just like, just like Guy being like, it's Chungus. Yeah, I guess, I usually am scared, but I think I'd just mess with it a little bit before I die.

Stuff like that. I think that it's just, I don't like these stories also because it's like, there's really no rhyme or reason. It's just, it always starts, with the guy being like, yeah, I bought this house out in the middle of nowhere.

And it's pretty new. I should call there as a red flag because the house is new. And they just kind of left real quick. But, you know, all these things are starting to fuck with me now. And it doesn't really give any rhyme or reason to anything besides it's just like, aren't these things? Well, look how evil these things are in the woods in this particular part of the woods. Yeah.

Yeah. So what's your solution? to that. Like, do you think it can go up from here? Is that what you're saying? No. Oh, God. No.

No, not at all. I'm saying, I'm saying that I think a story or the hook of a story, which, to be fair, this is no sleep. It's just a Reddit post. But if you were constructing a multi-part series where you, like, are trying to unveil maybe why these things are happening, I think, like, one, I also don't care about the character at all. I think like one thing that's important is establishing like just a strong character. Why are we following them?

Why do I care about this guy? What is like what is the current state of our character in at the beginning of the story? His mind's messed up because of the thing that made him move out to the woods. Yeah. That's true. We have we, we've alluded to something. But I guess it's like there's nothing like I don't really feel like I know the character at all in a way where you're like, oh, that's interesting. I want to like see what that is.

It's just like a little brief thing with like, but. the way. I moved out here because I'm kind of screwed up over something that'll happen and I'll tell you that later. I'm a little ficked up right now. But the entities being something where it is just simply, man, I moved here and there's a lot of weird stuff happening. It doesn't, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. And it's also why a lot of this stuff feels kind of random and, uh, not really, I guess earned or it doesn't feel like I'm like, though that's a fun. it doesn't make me like want to play along I guess

because you're probably I don't think I think you can do the chungessy humor thing as long as like the base level story is like if from getting A to B is well thought out and fun I mean there's themes like that in Tales from the Gas Station

and the the the watch tower one what can I think right now broadcast tower or whatever were the lonely broadcaster lonely broadcast yeah lonely broadcast station uh yeah that one i think there was also stuff with the like some of the humor being a little goofy and stuff but it works because everything was pre-established and the characters were pre-established and i think both of those

interesting like the people that went missing and the stuff i was interested in the story but here it starts off with the whole like you don't want to know what I've been through. Well, yeah. I mean, there's like a little, there's simple things too about the, there's simple things are the other two that are interesting as well. That it's like,

one, their jobs, which even if you, I mean, you could just be like, we'll just quit the job. It gives a motive and a purpose for a person to be there and to experience these things and like,

and for the sake of it being a little funny or just kind of like odd. You can, you can like believe that they would stay, you know, or the experiences would, build up over time and blah blah but the stakes are raised but both of those stories also the protagonists are interesting enough to where and the protagonist is interesting enough and they introduce side characters and how the character feels about them you just get to know more about

the character and what they're thinking versus this is just him the only thing we found out so far is that he's a total badass and he doesn't take care and he does not appreciate stolen valor that's the one thing he refuses to joke about joke about my own life which i do but don't you dare joke about joke about the truth. That tone, the stolen ballard thing did kind of give me that was like a life reserver in the ocean. It is and I hope there's more of it.

I hope this, I hope every part of this devolves into him being upset about a skin walker pretending to be dead like I guess troops to make him upset. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, once again, don't want to advocate for stolen valor. Don't advocate for dead troops. I'm just saying as a concept for a horror story, Hunter advocates for the death of troops and also I could see people taking what I said and running out. I'm just clarifying making sure people know.

There's a quote from you on this podcast where you say without prompt by yourself with no diffusion, I will do stolen valor. I will. Well, I myself doing it. I will do stolen valor. Right. There's the second time you've said it now.

So all right. I'm happy to see that my experience is from part one got some attention. Oh my God. I fucking hate this. Fuck! I hate this so much. That actually makes me pretty happy because that is exactly what you said.

God damn it. Every time they do this. My bear trap went off like that was a ding ding ding winter. It's also your bear trap because you said I hate the whole. Yeah, I got attention. Here's some more things about it. Blah, blah, blah. Ugh.

Wasn't expecting this stuff to actually get any traction. I'm mainly here to vent and have a place to catalog stuff that happens around my house. People also seem to enjoy the part where the naked dude attacked me and cartwheeled into the woods, crying like a baby when I stabbed him. Still not sure if you was human. No, I feel obligated to tell more of my experiences. Also, feel free to leave any questions you have and I will try to answer them in the next post. That being said, if you haven't read part one, I suggest you go back now and read it. I'm going to tell the following experiences as if you already know about the other experiences I've written about having on this property. This place is not normal after all.

It takes them getting used to. Now that the intro's out of the way, I think we can start with camo. Camo is a nuisance. First time I came into contact with him was during the first white-tailed deer season I had on my property. Now, I'm a hunter, but the program that is helping me after the incident said I wasn't allowed to have guns because the noise draws too much attention. bullshit. I live in the middle of nowhere and there isn't anybody else for miles unless you count the chosen, but I'm pretty sure that the program isn't worried about them. Luckily, the lady in the tree hooked me up with the 45 caliber and now have my possession, but I didn't have it upon first meaning camo, unfortunately. I hate, if I hear 45 caliber one more time,

I'm gonna, I will take a 45 caliber to my own fucking head. Well, a hundred, that's a cowabod, the twoop. Also, what do we get? What? What? do we get by not just telling the viewer what is two world wars what do we what do we get by not knowing what is wrong or at least like like him keeping him him keeping his past of like the incident the whole point hunter is like oh it's intriguing isn't this intriguing don't you want to learn more no no no aren't if anything is at least have the character had the character like lean into it or something or just be like i couldn't pause Like I don't there's there's I don't know anything about this character to have him be like

And I the thing in my past don't worry he doesn't seem bothered by it I think is the problem is how it comes off of he doesn't seem he doesn't seem like he's uh no because a hunter again do you have to imagine this is a discord mod in the middle of the woods but won't go into them and imagining himself as a cool guy I wasn't Had to take Zoloff because my princess Because my unlike Kitted Refused to date me There you go Now you're talking

Now you're in the sweet spot I first saw him when I was walking towards a ladder stand I had set up on a tree to watch deer Since I could no longer kill them And yes I could have a bow But I'm shit with a bow I would risk just hurting the animal I don't like the idea of an animal

That is suffering because I can I'm imagining it from your description like a 300 pound dude I'm imagining like he climbs up to the stand and it just collapses I don't like the idea of an animal that is suffering because I couldn't make a shot that would kill it instantly

now as I approach my stand I noticed a figure already sitting in it it's about the size of a regular human he was dressed in full camouflage pants jacket boots hat face mask and backpack it actually seemed like a regular person which I hadn't seen any of those in the woods for an entirety of the four months I'd been living there.

The things that live on this property are generally more extreme. But no matter how relieved I was to see a proper human for once, he was deep in my property and hunted in my stand at he am to leave. I reluctantly shouted over to him. Hey! You ain't supposed to be here. Time to go, dude!

Now I was about 75 yards away into his left, but I yelled plenty loud for him to hear me clearly. he didn't flinch he stayed facing straight forward like a statue what a prick look try to be creepy all you want but ignoring someone like that's just rude god i know he hears me fuck you fat fuck i know he hears me i have reason to believe he was just trying to freak me out because i've made him break character before so after i can't even describe what this guy looks like in my head at this point. It's like he has one of those ear flap caps, you know, with the flaps tied around under his chin and he's got like a fishing vest that goes halfway down his chest and then just

he looks like an ice cream cone beyond that. Yeah, besides 5x shirt and then yeah, is his dark Souls T-shirt. He's a 26 waist stretched. Like the bow. He's laying the bow on his rolls, but because of the way he's shaped, it's like his arms are straight out with the bow in the arrow. He has the, he has the bow over his body, right? But the bow is like bending to the point where you hear the wood starting to creak because it's like the stretching the material so much. And it's really pressing into and it's very uncomfortable. And his, uh, Game of Thrones winter is coming shirt. That's like two sizes too small. Yeah. Yeah. That's He keeps doing the shirt pole thing.

Oh, dude, yeah. Which I do that. I do that even just sitting down. I mean, that's a very real thing. Once people started figuring about the shirt, the shirt tug, all of fat humanity collected together and they're like,

we have got a problem. DefCon Zero. We are fucking, we are in the red right now. I never thought about it until people started pointing it out, but I saw there was like a video of this, dude like a heavier guy on a moped that got hit by a truck

and he always got thrown and as he's rolling you can see him pull the shirt down the shirt tug I'm telling you it happens that's the worst part is when any fat person falls down it looks catastrophic and they always have to do the shirt tug I'd rather I would rather someone I'd rather look like a fucking idiot

getting hit by a car than have someone see the fucking underside of a peanut that's like what the that's like what the bottom of my stomach looks like. Like, yeah, I'd rather have my fucking skull split open on the concrete that have someone see that the fucking circus peanut under my shirt. So after I yell and he ignores me, I start getting impatient. I yelled the same thing at him again a little louder and still ended up with the same

response. What a dick. Now I'm livid because he's making me ruin all my chances of seeing deer this afternoon by making me yell at him. So naturally, I started a brisk troll over to tell him to all. off to his face or maybe kick his ass. I already noticed he didn't have a rifle, so I just assumed that he was watching

like I was planning on doing. Of course, he could have had a concealed handgun, but I'm a dumb ass, so I didn't consider that. Then I heard the crunch of something under my foot at the sudden sound of rope, sliding across the surface at high speed. I froze for a fraction of a second. Did you say rope?

Did you say rope or rope? Rope. Okay. I could have sworn. I heard you say, I was like, oh my God, I said,

the sudden sound of rapes sliding across the surface. God. I froze for a fraction of a second and before I could speak out an, oh shit. I'm hanging upside down from my ankle.

Yeah, right. There's a loop around my leg that held me suspended seven feet off the ground like a damn cartoon. Yeah, right, dude. And there ain't no, there ain't no roll.

This big boy, you kidding me? Yeah, fucking right. It's like deep sea. It's like deep sea like boat, like those giant thick ropes. It's the only thing that's holding them. Yeah, it's like there's a ship anchor over in the trees. Yeah.

A carnival cruise airline or a carnival cruise, uh, uh, ships anchors on the other side of the tree falling. Well, like the way these traps work is their counterweights, which is why they're easy to do for like rabbits. But in movies, they'll have people get them. It's like you'd have to have like a 500 pound weight off to the side to join someone up in the tree like that. I was like a Looney Tunes character. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I immediately knew it was camo.

Wait, reread this, reread that normal. Hold on a second. Go back to there was a loop around my leg again. I just want to hear it all strung together. There was a loop around my leg that held me suspended seven feet off the ground like a damn cartoon.

I was like a looney tune's character. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I immediately knew it was camo. And when I look up or down, shit, I was upside down. So I don't really know where I had to look, but I saw I'm slowly climbing down the ladder. Like really slowly.

What a dramatic guy. If he wasn't so obsessed with appearances, he probably could have killed me. That's what I think he wanted to do anyway. There was a machete on his hip that I can now see. and the blade was chipped at in a way that made it look serrated. It would have been a very useful tool unless you wanted to use it to inflict pain. I think the biggest flaw with Camus's trap, though,

was that he didn't account for the fact that 99% of people who live alone in the woods learn that carrying a large knife at all times is a necessary thing if you want to stay alive. You know what's funny about this? It is obscene to imagine like, a young, fit, well-to-do guy in these situations, right? Like the whole like the stolen valor thing. Like imagine, imagine like a D1 football player getting like, now the Skin Walker's making fun of the troops, you know?

Like it's so beyond the realm of what you can put together. So the story forces you to imagine him as an like overweight, socially maladjusted person. So then every line he says afterwards just sounds so like, I mean, as he's upside down, as he's hanging upside down, I'm just imagining like a pug. And whenever he fell down, his sleep app machine fell out of his back jacket.

And it's on the ground right now. He's like, okay, got to have trouble sleeping a night, I guess. Yeah, I'm going to have to get another one of those. I wish I could tell you that I did a flip after I cut myself down.

down and landed on my feet like some sort of badass, but I didn't. I landed on the back of my neck and my vision went dark for 15 seconds, which I can. Yeah, if this guy lands on his head, it's over. It's gone. Which I guess was enough time for Tweedle dumbass to finally get to the bottom of my ladder stand. As I stood up, I saw that he was standing completely still at the base of the stand, still 50 yards away from me, staring at me.

I can hear his thoughts from here. Damn, why did he get out? Shit, shit, shit. Then he turned and bolted. It's almost impressive how well the story can just remove any tension or interest. Because in the midst of this, I was like, well, the idea of a guy called Camo that's like a ghost that wears hunter's clothes, that's interesting. But then the moment he interacts with him. Is that interesting?

If you had the story, because like, if you were full, head to toe camo you can't see the person at all. So I was always imagining like an invisible man kind of figure like a like a ghost that just looks like hunter's clothing walking through the woods. And if it's never speaking and it shows up in hunter's positions, I think conceptually it'd be interesting outside of the story. But then the moment we interact with it, it's just this. It's just like everything else is. Which that leads me to ask like going back to the quirk chungus thing. Like what? purpose does that serve in a story other than to damage it.

I like that also every enemy so far has turned and bolted. Everyone has run away. Yeah, because they would just kill him if they didn't. Yeah. I have no idea how to remove the other tension. So either I black out or they run away. Yeah. Yeah.

I either pass out or they run away because if they stay there with them, then they could just, you know, kill him and it's over. The guy falls from half a foot up, lands on his feet, rolls his ankle, obedient. Oh! Wouldn't that be his strange, scared camo and he runs off.

Half a foot. Like a stairs. It's a lot of weight coming down. He's in his, he's in his large tongue DC shoes. He's in there. He rolls right.

Also, he's wearing like one of those peeky blinder hats, by the way. Instead of the one that's covering his ears, it's a full peekie blinders hat. His, his,

the belly caps or whatever. One of those. He's wearing like he's wearing checkered like checkered cargo pants. Yeah. Whatever like a scob and would wear. He went to the barber. It was like I want to look like Thomas Shelby for Piki Blinders. So they gave him like the fade, but the way his head shaped, it just looks like a pinhead,

like a little hair on top. It looks like a monkey. Aper fade. Looks like King Kong. Look like how the apes have those little. Those little crescent. The tops of hair on the top of their head. Well, he went in there doing that,

but the top of his hair is already so thin that they kind of just like sniffed it a couple times. And he's like, you guys are miracle workers. He was really confident walking out of the barber shop. Someone said something about it and he felt bad. Hello there. I would look like Thomas Shelping.

That'll fix everything. That'll fix everything. This dude was booking. I lost sight of him in less than 30 seconds into my chase and had to give up. I bet. I need to jog more. It's right in itself, baby. I mean, again, stuff like that.

Like, am I supposed, is the author intending me to imagine a young fit guy who's like, I lost him after 30 seconds. I need to jog. more like come on and what more by the time i got back to the ladder stand it was already getting dark i didn't even get to watch any deer i've seen camo on multiple other occasions as well but i figured him out he got me the first time but this traps really aren't that sneaky they're elaborate but not sneaky he always appears in an area that i plan on hunting it don't know how he knows where i'm going to be but i stopped questioning stuff on this land a long time ago

and I always notice him long before I get to the location. Again, I have no idea how he plans this shit out. And secondly, there's always a trap set somewhere directly between when I first spot him and his actual location. Like, if I were to draw a line from him to where I see him from, the trap will always be on that line. Also, another important thing to realize is that none of his traps are fatal. They're all meant to keep me from escaping, but not kill me. They do hurt, though. one time almost stepped in a bear trap he had set out and it for sure would have broken my leg had it got me

just cuts to his non-fat swollen swollen purple calves he does step on it and it's just like the bear trap has no distance to move so it just like it doesn't doesn't do anything he had stops his leg fills up the entire bear trap yeah his swollen foot fills it yeah he's like damn you can though he's like diabetic socks are stopping the bear trap from piercing his skin. His compression socks are saving him. I love that idea. But Cambo didn't take account my dollar general compression socks.

Camo doesn't know I'm built for this. Cambo doesn't realize I've built this one. Cammo doesn't know the wrath. all down. As if he's sneaking around, as if Cammas doesn't know he's coming, he can hear him wheezing from out far away. Yeah.

He sounds like Darth Vader walking through the woods. Cabo. Camas sees him. And he's like, that is the fattest deer I've ever seen. Oh my God. This non-fatal part was his downfall. I figured out that he didn't want me to die in a trap. He probably wanted to do the deed himself or maybe do something else, but he really

didn't want me dead in a trap. So all I had to do is get a rod off is dying a trap, right? Who cares? Move on from the trap. like three of those paragraphs where they he says the same thing over and over and over again. God help me. Good Lord.

Someone killed this fat bastard, dude. Good Lord. Don't worry, Hunter. Don't worry, Hunter. Because after the lady in the tree hooked me up with the 45. Fuck up! Over a year and a half ago. Oh my God.

One of the first problems I wanted to solve with it was the creator of the various nets, ankle snares, and holes that attempted to contain me many times before. hole just plumps down. He looks like a, it looks like a fresh baked oven. He looks like a fresh baked muffin and coming out of the oven.

It's like his like upper half. He's like, dang it, Camel. God. He's just firing off shots from the hole in the ground. He has this giant minister with Lego set there. He's like, Camel! And I knew exactly how I was going to do it. One of Kamo's recurring traps was just a large 11-foot deep hole covered by a large amount of suspiciously patterned sticks and leaves that could literally be seen 100 yards away.

I just had to wait until he used this trap again. After a swinging log that I think was supposed to knock me out and another net that was met to land on top of me. I might add that it was made of wire so I couldn't cut through it, but it also had a glare from the sunlight that made it impossible not to see. I finally came across the trap I was looking for. four weeks after I got the gun I find myself walking towards an 11 foot hole trying to pretend I don't see it suddenly I start falling

I was ready for the fall and let out a loud yell as I travel downwards and as I hit the ground I stayed as quiet as possible which was hard considering the broken toe and dislocated you see what I mean like no

if he was capable, he wouldn't have broken his toe and dislocated his knee from the drop down. It was a far, far drop. A far, a far three foot drop into the hole. Yeah, a far half foot drop. Screw camo for making me do this. I army crawled over to the side of the hole and laid my head against the side to make it look like I had broken my neck.

Then I waited. Took 15 minutes for that little prate to dramatically make his way over to me. but I heard him walking up to the edge of the hole. I obviously had to close my eyes to appear dead because I couldn't run the risk of blinking, but I almost smiled when I heard Camo mutter to himself. Oh shit, no, no, no, no, no. They're going to be so fucking pissed.

I took advantage of the moment and quickly opened my eyes and whipped out the pistol, firing three shots at him as quickly as I could. I missed with all but one. Literally, just like, bam, bam, bam, bam, closing his eyes, can't aim. just the bullet that met it's mark put a hole in camo's shoulder and he let out a garbled scream of nonsense and gibberish something along the lines of you piece of fucking you piece of fucking you you i can't believe that ass fucking you shit ah he didn't end up running away but as he ran i

heard him say fuck this dude i i i oh shit i'm fucking done i was laughing my ass off imagine him imagine him laying on his back his big belly jiggling, he's like, he's like, winter is coming. Pulling a little Debbie oatmeal cream cookie from his back pocket.

It's still laying on the ground. Open to the wrapper. It's also just funny to imagine someone who like, there's multiple entities in the woods trying to kill him. He can't explain. And he still just goes into the woods

constantly for no reason. Yeah. Why? There's no reason. Well, we haven't. We haven't figured out his super dark and deep seedy past why he can't move. Let's throw a bear trap out right now. Do you think he gets a girl at some point in this?

Or like the lady in the trees like a siren figure, Lady of the Lake sort of thing? I think she's a, for some reason she's a hero. I feel like he's probably a vet of some kind. And he, he had something happen where he broke down, maybe trying to save someone or something like that.

So maybe she's like an entity that knows he's a good deed or like she's a tree spirit that knows he's a like a good soul or something? I don't know though. Yeah, I reckon it'll go in a similar direction. I don't know how yet, but something like that. I feel like what I was getting at is I feel like there's going to be a wifu element in here somewhere.

God, I hope. At some point there's going to be like an attractive woman that like sees, even if it's a spirit who sees the good in him kind of thing. You're not like the others. You're not like the others, are you? Yeah. No, ma'am, I am not.

Till I realized I was severely injured and had to climb out of this hole. Good thing, it was daytime, though, or I might not have noticed the black rope that camo had lowered into the hole while he was cursing himself for killing me. I somehow managed to pop my knee back in a joint based on shit I had seen earlier in life. And climbed out to limp my way back to the house. That was such a good day. broken toes are expensive to get treated though

I bet you'd know the best part is that I haven't seen camo since that day it actually worked wish I could pull something like that off with skinny another thing that I guess I need to explain to all of you readers is the lady in the tree I mentioned her a few times now and at least some of you are probably wondering about her

honestly don't know much about her myself but she is hands down the best thing on this property my first experience with her was when she healed a broken eardrum that I had suffered when meeting what I think was a banshee down in my creek. It was busted when she screeched really loud. Do we just read that?

God, it was one part ago. He'll describe it. He'll describe it. Don't worry. God, damn. Get me out of this fucking hell. Holy shit. Don't worry. It's only part two of nine. Oh, God. Nine. I woke up perfectly fine the next morning. I almost thought it was all a dream until I saw the blood still

on my pillow and the broken flashlight that I had used in personal defense. Well, I guess this was the first time. It affected me directly, but not the first time she had helped me out. The true first time I didn't realize was her until last night. It was the gun. The gun that I talked about purchasing in part one wasn't really purchased. We know because you told us that the lady and also why also why also why tell us in the thing. What doesn't make sense is you told us that in the first part, right? Yeah. And also it's somewhere is either the first part or in this part it said that the lady gave it to him.

Yeah, so why even lie about that in the first part? Like, why not just say, hey, the lady in the tree gave me a gun? Well, Hannah, well, Hannah, I didn't want to lie because I just wasn't willing to admit that I looted it off an old corpse. And I had found in an abandoned log cabin in the back of the property. So there you go. This is an example of how sneaky she is. I only started to wonder if it was her doing while I was recording the first set of these stories. And I started to think about how good of shape.

this gun was in. Of course, it was a little dirty when I found it, but it was also in perfect operating condition. And I figured that the skeleton that was clutching it didn't need it anymore. But hell at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he came to life each night. Either way, I left the cabin with a new sidearm and two boxes of ammunition. I didn't really think about it much because finding a gun on a body is pretty mild considering the events that go down here on a week-to-week basis. But yesterday I started questioning the real origins of this gun. It was so well maintained a new feeling when I got it, but the skeleton looked like it had been there forever. Not to mention the fact that the gun was unloaded and the boxes of ammo were unopened, but the skeleton looked like

it had died holding the gun like he was intended to use it. Didn't add up. So I added back to the cabin and I found my answer. Everything was the same when I got there as it had been over a year ago. I mean, nothing had changed, especially not the body. The exact same as before. I was nervous at first, not because the body scared me, but because the joke about the skeleton coming back to life from earlier wasn't really that far-fetched in this place. I've never seen an undead skeleton,

but I have seen other forms of undead. Maybe I'll tell you about those experiences sometime. Nervous or not, though, I had to confirm my suspicion. I approached the body and started examining the clothes. Just like I expected, the flannel shirt and brown jeans had no tags. Not like they had been ripped out, but like they were never there to begin with. Now there was only one more thing to check. I took out my knife and scraped the blade down the skeleton's exposed arm bone.

Sure enough, the shaving fell off. It was wood. The entire skeleton was made of wood and painted a lightish brown, among other discolourations to look like the real deal. The lady in the tree is very talented when it comes to wood, but she can do so much more. I've only seen her in person two times. once when I caught a glimpse of her smiling

as she walked into an opening into a tree only to close the opening with the door that fits so perfectly I couldn't see the edges when I walked up to it I just looked like a normal tree and a second time two days later after I encountered the screeching banshee in the creek I saw her out the window of my front door

smiling in she winked at me and ducked out of view I ran to the door to try to see her fully but by the time I swung the door open she was gone in the night nowhere to be seen which is really annoying, but almost consider her as friends by now, and she still won't show herself to me fully. One day, Princess, you'll understand.

Oh, God. Now when I started the second time, I didn't know what or who she was, but when I looked at the ground in defeat, I noticed a small sheet of what looked like homemade paper. On it was a short message that read, I wish to congratulate on killing the kilut. He was bringing an evil over the land that was distressing the forest. I don't know how you actually ended him, but I'm happy all the same. I've seen you roaming and I am certain you have seen me. We worked towards the same goal, cleansing this land. My vows as medicine, woman, keep me from directly interfering with the creature of this land,

but I wish you luck on your mission. I will support you from the shadows as best as I can. I hope your ears feel better. So I think that Kila, she was talking about me killing, I think, was a rabbit coyote that I killed a few days before the creek incident. It was hairless and just stared at me through some trees. I think it was trying to intimidate me to leave its territory. So I shot it between the eyes and left.

My territory, bitch. But this was the first time I realized that I found, but this just the idea of a comically fat man, like walking up in the woods and just shooting an animal in between the eyes and leaving. But this was the first time I realized I finally had someone on my side on this land, and that was a relief. She was actually really helpful. Once I got bit by a rattlesnake, and when I got home, there was a bottle labeled anti-venom sitting

on my kitchen table. Another time I got bit by one of the shadowed children while I was hiking. And when I got home, there was a bottle of purple liquid in a glass vial in the same place on the table. Honestly, expected it to heal the wound or something, but it just made me really drunk. I guess she couldn't help me much that time. She said other stuff too But now I'm kind of worried about her

I haven't heard or experienced any help from her in eight months I'm worried something that got to her Or even worse What if she's mad at me I mean skinny almost killed me six months ago And she didn't do shit I've grown to like her And even depend on her a bit

But she's just gone I think I'll call it quits for this post But hopefully I can stay alive long enough For the next post The hunt for Skinny continues And if you don't know who that is shame on you for not reading the first post before now and if you do know who that is i appreciate any suggestions you have for killing him see all next time cole signing off end of part two and

i'm just going to read you a uh the top the comment on this uh post uh someone said i've been following the story and suffice to say am not disappointed maybe the ladies ignoring you because you've been investigating her too much so she does sound shy I hope she's okay, though. As for the skinnies, I'm thinking of using the same kind of luring tricks as theirs. Use recordings of your own making it sound like you were in distress and set traps alongside their traps,

or place traps on your own in totally different locations, but make yours as, but make yours as damaging as possible. I hope the skinnies don't see you setting them. Well, you know what, Hunter, maybe, maybe you and I are just jaded,

you know, and maybe it's nice to be the kind of person that can get really into this. kind of thing, you know, the target audience. Maybe that feels good. I, there's no way I could be having a positive.

There's no way us reading this can have a positive effect for this story. I feel like, no. So here's the question, Isaiah. Chip sailed on that one. Here's the, here's the question. That is literally part two of nine.

Do we want to try to pivot at all? Is this going to be something that people are just going to complain about versus is this a fun crash out or is this just like people just you know what I mean? Are they just going to be like God this is terrible

this is better than happy happy and that thing did numbers so I guess but happy happy happy has like a like a cult like status doesn't it? Dude you should see the amount of the story's been recommended to us

okay all right fine we'll keep on I feel like every video we post people are like, my property is a normal. My property isn't normal. And yes, they know what they're doing. They know why they're recommending it. But, you know, just like that comment you read, though, maybe, maybe if you can enjoy going to Disney World and you can like Marvel movies and stuff like that and you can watch all the TV shows,

maybe that's what it is to be free, you know, to just attach yourself to that degree. Maybe it's nice, you know. Well, part three. Yeah, part three. Hey guys, I'm back. Boom! It's going to be every part, Hunter. I know it's been a few days since my last post.

One of the pales chewed through the wires in my generator, and since civilians aren't allowed out to hear about the organization, I'd wait three days for one of their electricians to get out here. The only reason I knew it was pale that chewed through my main cable was because I watched it do it. I was hoping it would electrocute itself, but I forgot that part where that's the, only source of power for my house since then chosen had stolen my backpack. Oh, chosen's the name of the

group. Whatever. This is probably a good time to say that if you haven't read the first years of all, but they are bum. Back to the regularly scheduled programming. I realized while I was stuck in the dark for the past three days, reading books hiking out of boredom, that I hadn't told you all about the pails yet. They suck, but they're kind of funny once you figure them out. I've seen them on quite a few occasions on the property. The pales are white humanoids that crawl on the ground on all fours, usually dragging their belly and using the same motion that Spider-Man uses to climb wall. They can move at about a jogging pace, and their faces are usually stuck in distorted expressions of pain or anger, and boy, are they stupid as all hell. Let me tell you about the first time I saw one.

I've already been living here about seven months. I think so. I was becoming familiar with the weird shit that calls this place home. I was out hiking some of my trails, kind of halfway looking for weird shit, halfway minded my own business. And suddenly, I can hear what sounds like a baseball player sliding through the leaves of the forest floor trying to reach home plate ahead of me. Only the sliding didn't stop. And it was coming straight towards me. I prepare myself by taking out my trusty bear grill. I like how he has to specify that is a bear grills and survival knife each time.

Every fucking time. My trusty bear grill survival knife. And I mean, what I would describe is an aggressive stance. What'd you think of an aggressive stance for this guy looks like? God, I imagine it's, it's got to be striking some kind of anime pose, you know, holding the hand up, curling the finger kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. I felt pretty badass.

Not going to lie. Expecting some creature to come barreling out of the bushes in front of me. I was a little shocked to see a butt-naked man with super pale skin drag itself out from under the brush on its stomach. What is it with the naked dudes of my land? Can I get a pretty woman? At least what? Can I get a pretty woman? a pretty woman at least once.

Anyways, after I got done being flabbergasted and became aware of my surroundings again, I became aware that the dude was almost on me and was reaching out for my leg. So I jumped on his back and it worked like a charm. This little bastard didn't have superhuman strength like some of the other

things out here. So when I landed on its back, it couldn't do anything but sat there and flop its legs and arms around like a fish. I fucking, I'm in hell. I fucking hate this. I am in hell. He is,

he is peeking through the cracks and admitting that he is a fat man, like a huge guy. I mean, done wrong. Him being, him being a giant, a giant shot is still,

it's still fun, but I'm just saying, dropping down on this crawling thing and it's like, he, he, he's harsh of legs. At this point,

I'm on the vodge of Tia's. It hears me laughing and tries to turn its head and spit on me. which it can't do, and that made me actually start crying laughing. I felt again, like just... Is this a horror? Is this a horror story?

That's, okay, so that's what I was talking about with like, what does this add? Because it kills the horror. I could see people making the case that this stuff is good for children's horror stories, so you don't make it too scary. But I feel like you just don't make it scary at all. We just, we had the same problem with the, we had the same problem with the recording we did recently where it was like, it's a horror pod. you're on a horror you're submitting a horror story right yeah like taking taking the wind out of

this horror you can do funny things like there's are like there's ways of implementing comedy into horror but i feel like because they both can be very intertwined with like absurd like how absurd things can be but yeah look at jordan peel stuff for example yeah jordan peel uh Zach Zach Zach Gregor i think his name is but like weapons barbarians all that stuff there's moments of having of releasing tension and like subverting those expectations of what you think's going to happen with something that's you know comical but it's just like at what point is this just like a thing it seems very odd like I'm surprised that no sleep allows this

as like something that's just so not even a horror story like it just feels like because you put skin walker in it it makes it fine well honey they hit the indestructible pedophile quota it's got to be somewhere I message you right for this. We don't. I think it can be implied that skinny likes kids. So right this way, sir.

You can post your story to no sweep any time. I fell off of it at this point and the creature quickly turned around and locked its teeth onto the toe of my left boot. I like to wear still toe boots throughout the property because even though they're heavy, I know that in the scuffle being able to kick with a boot and not having to worry about breaking a toe

is a nice little advantage. This is what led me to realize said even though the creature didn't have super strength it did have a super bite force when it first lashed onto my boot I wasn't worried and started trying to shake the thing off without much urgency

I already knew it wasn't a man by this point because it didn't possess an asshole or other genitals that's the first thing he checked but I got a lot do you have you have a pussy dickle do you have a pussy dick a bow

hmm That's the first thing he checks. That's the first thing he checks. And also. A little scratch and sniff session here. Bold of them to say an asshole or other genitals. It's like that's not what that is. I just like you check for the asshole.

The asshole first. Perfect. Excellent. Yeah. He's the real creature out here. Everything else is going to say. I pray for the creatures and the poor animals of these ones. Cammo is trying to save everyone.

Yeah, Cammo is a white-tailed deer. That's just like walking around the forest. I have to save my brothers. But I got a little worried when I noticed the end of my boot changing shapes as the steel in the end started to bend. I then said out loud. If you don't stop right now, I'm going to stab your head, you little shit. It pauses as if debating on the decision and then slowly started biting down again while his eyes looked up at me as if to try and call my buff. I wasn't bluffing.

Few seconds later, the thing is frantically climbed its way back into the forest with my favorite Bear Grills Survival Night Trade Mark. All right. God. Did you see they've added the trademark this time? Yeah. Oh, it's cute.

That's funny. That's funny. That's funny. That's really funny. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. You do.

Still in the back of its stupid head. Nobody likes a thief. Got back home fine, but I had to replace my favorite. knife and get a new pair of boots. So it was a pretty shitty hike. It was the next time I saw one. So when I figured out their biggest fear and it's so stupid.

I just like, gosh, it's funny. Because like the Bear Grill survival knife, like you buy those at Walmart, right? It's like a person who's never been outside before idea of a perfect survival knife, right? Just everything he's saying is like, I feel like part nine's going to be like,

Like, none of this matters. I'm in my parents' house forever. Maybe one day I can live a life of adventure like this. The Bear Girls joke where you keep talking about it, where it's like, I get it. I get what it's funny because it's a very specific kind of blade. That's what makes it funny. You know, and it's so not serious. I get it.

But if he legitimately slices his wrist vertically vertically at the end, I will, with that Bear Girl's knife, that is the only saving. races. If he sits in the woods, he slices his wrist and he's just like, now I go into the long night since I miss my sweet tree spirit. Right. There's the tree. Oh, dude, the tree, bear trap. The tree spirit rejects him. And then he kills himself. That, that's the only ending. That's the only end. That would be a hilarious ending. Yeah. That would be a goaded story if that was the case. I, uh, I, I'm more so just pointing out that the bear girl's knife is a Walmart knife. It's similar similar to the whole like,

oh, after 30 seconds I lost him. I need to work out more. It's like he can't help, but expose himself as I've never been in the woods in his life. Yeah. Yeah, no, no. He is,

it's, the character that we're painting is re-informed every other paragraph for sure. And I mean, the Walmart, yeah, knife is definitely even at, even adding to that.

Yeah, yeah. I was down to my creek playing with a new toy. I'd gotten in town earlier that week. It was this net that was designed to catch little minnows and shit, and it was a blast. I don't really have any use for minnows or whatever other little fish I was catching because I can't go to the only pond on the property that had big fish in it since I made that deal with a crocodile man.

So I was just catching them and letting them go. I'm suddenly greeted by the somewhat familiar sound of a grown man sliding across the ground on their belly. It had been almost two months since the last incident I had with the pale. but I immediately recognized the sound. This was the dude that stole my knife, and I really valued that Bear Grill survival knife that can be purchased at your local Walmart. Okay.

It really is a good product. Unfortunately, the pail that emerged this time wasn't the same one. It had a different face and was more of a light pink than original white that was on the first pail. It was still the same type of creature, though. This time, things went down different, As it torn into the clearing that I was in about 30 feet from me, it froze with its eyes wide.

As it had torn through the brush, I was already facing its direction, holding the net spread out to my side. The same way a bullfighter holds a red cape since I was preparing to throw the net into the creek. The pale's eyes were switching between looking at the net and looking at me, so I looked at the net and back to him. Then it clicked. No way. I giggled to myself as I started to catch on to what's happening I took advantage of my suspicion and started running and flailing the net around to pale and it freaked out

it actually rolled over trying to turn so fast as it swam around and took off into the woods I then started wheeze laughing as it fell to the ground with tears running down my face this thing can bite through steel but is terrified of a nylon net I know that might not be funny to some because I have a Fuck you Fuck you, dude I know that might not be funny to some Because I have a twisted sense of humor

But it made my week Long story short Oh gosh I god dude Long story short Oh it's been a minute It's been a fucking minute Holy shit

Oh gosh Long story short I kept that little net in my hiking bag every time I go out now. Every pale I've come across is utterly mind screwed at the side of it. Good times, man. Wish all the things around here were that easy to deal with. On another note, I got an email from an organization asking me about the Kila that the lady in the tree claimed that I killed in the last post. They wanted to know if I had disposed the body and if they could come and retrieve the remains from the woods if I just left it. Then they said something that caught me off guard.

when I said something about having to check with the program that put me out here, they responded with, We are the parent organization of that program. And proceeded to give me my own address and, well, as well as details about my former life, they only the program should have known about. In all seriousness, I have a dark past and haven't. So he's either going to be a soldier or he's going to be, it could also be a soldier, but he's going to be like some like Agent X super soldier program.

and he's been put out here to tame the woods or something like that. In all seriousness, I have a dark past and haven't always been a great man, but I'm done with that shit and it pissed me off that they would even bring it up. I responded with the simple, Fine, but don't bring that shit up again. And block the emailer. No one's shown up yet, but I guess we'll see what happens. On a good note, I haven't seen Skinny in a couple weeks, so that's nice.

see you all next time and feel free to please leave your questions at the comments and if you have any ideas what these spells actually are or what a kill it is please tell me if any of you are good with research stuff I'd appreciate it talk to you all again soon into part three part four part four well I'm back guys welcome to pop four of this documentary catalog um diary honestly don't know what this is anymore because I thought it was going to use this platform to tell stories of stuff that's happened to me in the past on this property, but now I'm being forced to bring this journal to the present. You see those people from that organization did come to see about the keylet, and now there's a guy named Mark living in my house and sleeping on my couch. Well, not really sleeping, more of unconscious, but we'll get to that part later. After a few days of this organization, that wouldn't tell me their name, not showing up, I figured it was all just a troll who managed to figure out my email account and hacking to my personal info. But alas, on the third day, he rose. Not, not really. But four guys did

it up knocking on my front door. They were all dressed pretty normally, except for the matching gray combat boots that told me that they, these were in, uh, I know he's being sarcastic here, but it just blends with everything he says about himself. The combat boots that told me these were men of action, which also means they are going to try their hardest to push me around and play badass. my suspicions were just like these these tall like military dudes walking into like this troll's

house. It's like okay but you guys aren't going to push me around. Let's get that. Good luck, buddy. Good luck dealing with this two ton of steel right here. My suspicions were confirmed when the guy in the lead identified

himself as Mark and immediately asked me where I claim to have actually killed a key lot. What a quick. Look, I still don't know what the fuck a kelet is, and I don't claim to have killed one. The lady of the tree said I killed one. I assume she's talking about the hairless coyote I killed down near the quake. At the mention of the lady in the tree that they all looked at each other as an expression of, this dude is a waste of time.

The feeling was mutual. I like the idea that they all like converse with each other. They're like, this guy is clearly mentally. Okay, so this is actually just a police well-dive. this call that his parents called into his like suburban apartment and the police come to the door like, okay, your family's just checking up, making sure you're okay. Then he goes back to his computer. He's like, the guys in boots came to ask about the lady and to tweet. Instead of Akila, they're asking what the smell is and if they need to get like the apartment heads involved.

I was getting a little impatient. If you guys are done being superior to me, I could take you to where I killed the coyote. The one behind Mark, his name I don't remember. So, sure, let's get this over with. 30 minutes later, we're staying in front of where I killed the thing that I now know was in a coyote. Look, I know I may not have clarified it yet, but I killed this thing well over a year ago. Shit, maybe two years ago. And the only reason that the organization knew that I had killed it was because of the post I made earlier this week.

A lot of decomposing and feeding can happen to a body in the woods over that long of time. On top of that, I hadn't been to this part of the property. in a very long time because there aren't any trails or interesting locations here. But I was taken back when I saw what had happened to this body over the course of the two years that have been out here. Absolutely nothing. This is, this story gets so much better if you imagine all this is his delusion and he's showing like the apartment security where he shot a raccoon. Yeah, it's his dead house cat.

Yeah, this is where I. shot the key light out here in the woods. It's just like a dead cat that he accidentally set on in the living room. Yeah. This giant bug that squatted. I think the organization is starting to catch on the one

I'm doing out here. The body looked like I had shot it yesterday. Only evidence that it was older was the fact that all the blood had all seeped out of the head wound and long since tried up. But the skin and face and the fur on its paws were completely preserved. It only had fur on its paws, which was odd.

When we got to the body, the snickering crew of four went dead silent. You said this was killed around two years ago, didn't you? Yeah, but I haven't been down here since. Why is this thing still preserved like that? What the hell is happening? One of the guys who had said a word up until this point chimed in. Kulets are

so unnatural and dark that nothing occurs in nature will have anything to do with an unauthentic one. This includes bacteria, fungi, and scavenger animals. Then he muttered something about a level 107 beast. Mark looked at me with a serious face and said, So if this Keelot story is true, does that mean that all the shit you said in those posts about the place were true?

For I could answer with a, what do you think, asshole? A low raspy laughter started to surround us and began to closing in. It was coming from all directions. We looked out from the body to see at least 50 hooded figure surrounding us, laughing menacingly. All four of the military men pulled their concealed pistols and took aim. But before they could fire a shot, I called out over the laughing. Hector! I told you next time you and your little chosen crew sneak up on me.

I'm kicking your asses again. This is, I'm legitimately, I might, I might, I might dislike. This might be the worst thing we've ever read. I'm telling you right now. You know what, though? Actually, that's not fair. I just, it's not true. It's not true.

It's so red at Chungus, though. It hurts. Yeah, it's not true. But I just, I'm being, I'm being, I'm being a grumpy gill. Can I mean, can I may be a grumpy gill? this doesn't touch happy happy to be clear so everyone paused the chosen the four organization men and the pale that had just crested a hill 30 yards behind one of the cult members a few seconds later one of the hooded figures took off his hood to reveal a chubby jolly-looking face with

it's bold of you to say jolly-looking face with rosy cheeks and wire rim prescription glasses oh man we didn't know they were with you cole we thought they were trespasses we're sorry Hector said with the downcast gaze. Why'd you even need them to begin with? Hector hesitated for a moment and said, Oh God, what's a real sacrifice of those white, quality human-word thingies just aren't doing it for him anymore. This moment the pale that I could see frozen on top of the hill turn and bolted back into the woods. Hector then proceeded to cause the other hooded figures.

There was cool. We can't have them. There's a collective size, all the chosen looked at the ground and walked away into the woods. I didn't notice until they didn't notice until they were. were all gone that the four organization men had to load their weapons the entire time you pussy's ready to head back to the house it gets dark at 45 minutes and if those guys got you on edge then you don't want to let then you won't last long at night mark shot me a look that explained to detail how much he hated me without the need for words while his three partners put on thick rubber gloves and put the keelan into a sort of body bag just imagining the house cat in the apartment

They put the kill it in the bag. The people on the hill were actually just like little white Lego people from like a set of Legos he had on his dresser. That's his family calling him to ask if he's okay. Like we sent the police over there. We haven't heard from you in a while and they're like, yeah. Yeah, that's hector. That part of the chosen.

As we're walking back towards my house with the three stooges carrying the corpse of the dog demon, Mark starts questioning me. What was that group back there? Some cult, I guess. They told me they worship, they worship contulu or something. Oh. Yeah, Kthulu.

Oh. That's funny. He seems kind of taken it back for a second and then asked. Why do they seem weary of you, but not flitch when we had her guns trained on them? Simple. They don't fear death. But they do a quack when it's supposed to severe pain for long enough.

I mean, it really writes itself. look at the guy thinking he's some operator dude when I when I put them to pain for long enough I'm kind of like Mark Wahlbook and that movie Don't Surviva again Mark seems surprised by my answer which also this guy's name is Mark

so this might actually be Mark Wahlberg that he's with he started to strike me as simple mind in so how did you inflict pain to them? Okay, can you please, please, to just keep me going, can you please give him a Mark Wahlberg voice? What? Ms. Mark Wahlg.

So how did you inflict? So how did you inflict this pain on them? Perfect. I don't want to answer any more of these questions. I really didn't. This was the kind of shit that I don't like to dwell on. That was a different life, and I don't like when it seems back into the present.

Sure, it's nice to have the local murder cult leave you alone, but I used methods that. I regret to get that luxury. The last thing Mark said to me on our hike back to the house was, Look, dude, my mind is telling me you are bad shit crazy, but my instincts are telling me that you're a threat. Which one are you? Hey, so me and my friends are going to go beat up this Chinese guy?

Yeah. Hey, you look like a threat. Do you want to go blind to Vietnamese guy real quick? Vietnamese, that was it. Yeah. And then not apologize about it. Yeah. For years.

But then say that I apologize to God for boogie nights. That's all it matters. Also, if I was on the plane on 9-11, it would have gone completely differently. And I'm just saying it would have ended with a lot of blood and what do you say? It would have ended with a lot of blood and me telling everyone we're going to be all right. I hate you, Marbleauberg. Yeah, that's real for those that don't know. He said he could have stopped 9-11.

I looked him dead in the eyes. and mumbled. That's up to you. Let me tell you. The look on his face was priceless. I love mind games. I fucking, I hate this filthy fucking asshole.

God damn, I hate him. I hate him so much. Yeah. Yep. Yep. A few minutes later, we reached the house and all four of the goons walked up to the big black van they had arrived in.

They started loading up the body and as I reached my door to opt to go inside, I hear Mark start raising his voice while talking on his phone. What? This guy isn't even the right head? I know this is stuff here, but why with... Look, let me get a team down.

Okay, yes. He does have experience, but... Wait, what did you just say? Dude, I'm telling you. Okay, I'm back yet. Because the idea of Mark Wahlberg, like, doing that on the phone, like full operator gear, and then just like the fattest dude ever.

And he's like, this guy's got a scary. Go ahead. Call your boss. I love playing mind games. Tell them who sent you. He then stares at me with a mixture of confusion of disbelief. They told him where I came from. I could tell by the way he looked at me.

He hung up the phone without any more arguing and began to walk over to me. As he reaches me, he says, My hopes have told me that I need to stay with you for a while and keep an eye on activity around here. Responded with. can't be serious. Wish I wasn't. I imagine like a foot of height difference

between them. They're like so close to each other. Mark's looking straight down. He said back and added. They also wanted me to remind you that you didn't pay for this house or this property either. That I opened my door with my best Butler impression and gestured for him to enter my home.

As he walks through the door and dropped what I assumed to be is the emergency buck out back on the floor he froze. Can I just say one thing real quick? Screw Skinny. I didn't hear how heavily he was breathing at first because the van was making noise as it was driving away, but as those sounds faded,

I realized that Mark was breathing like he had just sprinted a marathon. His eyes were trained on the window with his body completely rigid with his hand on his hip, ready to draw his gun. I followed his gaze to the window where I confronted Skinny many times before And sure enough, there he was.

Only this time he wasn't someone I recognized. This time he was a fairly attractive, tall and athletically blonde woman. She was smiling and holding a heart-shaped balloon. Upon closer inspection, I could see the balloon red. It's a girl. I rushed in front of Mark to try and snap him out of whatever trance he was in, but I soon realized tears were welling up in his eyes.

By this, I gathered that this woman was no longer with us, and the girl most likely wasn't either. Screw you. skinny. I calmly started explaining that what skinny was to Mark, but soon after I started, he stopped me. I read the stories Cole. I know that you've talked

about this thing before. But I'm trying to handle these kinds of things. I said, don't worry about me. Because I'm going to fucking kill it. That's an excellent, Mark Walberg, by the way. The kill it. With that, he made a...

What? No. What? No. Man, no. With that, he... made a mad dash to the back door in an effort to get outside and confront Skinny. I managed to block him and push him to the ground saying that... He won't come inside to just keep your shit together and we live. Mark wasn't in a listening mood, though.

He jumped back to his feet straight into a fighting stance. Oh, great. After a few seconds, he threw a fast left hook straight for my face. But he wasn't fast enough. I ducked under the swing and connected my elbow to the underside of his chin. He went out like a light. Oh, God. Fuck you, dude.

You fat piece of shit. I fucking hate this cock-sucker. He's the slowest punch ever. He went out like the light. By the time the scuffle was over, Skinny was gone. I put Mark on the couch now I'm typing this. Thinking about how going through his computer,

thinking about going through his computer before he wakes up. Anyways, that's it for today. Please, if anyone knows what a keylet is, let me know. What did I kill? And why did Mark mean by he was trained to deal with this kind of stuff? What is he? Wow.

All right. Part 5. What? No, dude. Did you, do you see the sentence? What? What is he?

A monster hunter or something? I know. I didn't. Wow. Wow. Wow. It's a collection of everything we hate. It's a collection of everything we hate rolled into one.

It's what the story is over. The hillside and I see it cresting. There's something that happened in the basement. like it, wow. That was like paying respect to your grandparents. I like that one. So, Monster Hunter, huh?

I'll try to get some answers before my next post. See you all soon. This story was cosmically, this story was, it's eight years ago. It was put back in time as a landmine for us now, I think. I think this is a penance

that from the signs I'm seeing in the callbacks to previous stories were supposed to serve. This is our destiny hunter to read this. Honestly, I am having a good time. I'm actually Mark Wahlberg with the guy who like waddles everywhere he goes. Like, but the,

but that guy is like one punch chaos and stuff like that. I'm having fun now. You're not having fun. But that's okay. You don't have to. No, I, uh, I, no. Well, I guess what? It's about me.

It's about me now. Well, that's fine. As long, because you know what? Usually if you're having a good time, I know the viewers are having a good time. I just, am I like your, canary in the coal mine for that. I mean, it has to be.

I have to basically just be like, well, if Isaiah says it's okay and he's having a good time, then it's worth it. Because I want to abandon ship. I want, I,

yeah. Well, it's just at a point now where like, I mean, obviously it's been ridiculous the whole way through, but with details like Mark Wahlberg and just him,

like him being so unfit for everything, but also revered as like a massive hero. It's perfect. Yeah, this deal of writing the character is such a badass Is such a weird concept to me of like Because obviously writing your character is like a perfect hero with the dark past is so strange Yeah They uh it's obvious that yeah he was like a badass military guy before

Yeah Or whatever and he respects the troops let's remember that well absolutely Oh absolutely 100% Yeah Which is why he's coming for you Hunter because you have said twice now you will do stolen value. I will do stolen valor. That's three times, three times. Part five, I usually try to do some kind of intro to these posts, but today I'm too excited to take the time to do that. He's also spelled excited wrong every time he said the word excited.

If you haven't read my previous post, you should though. They're quite a bit more action-packed to explain all the events a lot of wherever blah, blah, blah, blah. Do you all remember last post when I joked about Mark being some kind of monster hunter or something? Well, I went through his computer and I'll be damned if he isn't. He's got files on files and even more files about all these different tangibles, which I think just means monsters. I haven't managed to find a file on the Keylet. No wonder they didn't believe I had killed one. Apparently, Killet is a creature in Native American mythology that's described as a furless, dog-like thing. It does have fur on its paws, though, which supposedly makes it impossible to hear or track in the wild. Pretty tame so far, right? Don't worry,

it gets better. Apparently looking at them is supposed to immediately fry your brain to disorient you, making you an easy kill for the creature. But that didn't happen to me. The only reason I could think of for the mind cooker effect not happening to me is because I don't process, I don't process things the same anymore. Not after the events that led me to live out here. Or maybe it wasn't even a keelot. There were a few more details I didn't get to read because before I could finish, I felt cold steel on my neck. Mark had woken up and was now pressing a knife to my throat. What do you think you're doing with my computer? The fight doesn't look like. I'll try to figure out who the man that passed out my couch is. So, so when he's outside, he wears

like the peeking blinders belly cap. But when he's inside, he has a fedora, a pinstripe fedora for like casual wear. Yeah, he looks like the lead singer like a six XL version of the lead singer fallout boy for like 2007 or 2008 is the exact same outfit on. This is a say to see it's a goddamn obs race I just imagine him now walking through the woods lumbering I'm just not sure your bed pump but you're just

a lot of song just fatly singing you say fatly yeah just fatly you know what I mean you know what I mean just like, yeah,

I know, I know what you mean by that too. I know you're asking me, you know what I mean. No, that's not that you know, personal experience. Are you not how you sing fatly?

I'm like, oh, that's right. That's right. That's what it was. You are so self-deprecating. You're a fantastic singer and everyone knows it.

There's entire clips on YouTube of you just singing because people just clip that from videos in this podcast and stuff like that. We didn't have a, what is me. We didn't have a comp,

shut up. We did have a, we did have a compilation of a hunter sinking fatly on creepcast. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Well, you know what? Lay on whatever sword you want, buddy. Whatever you want. Yeah, fatly lay on whatever story. A sword you want. Yeah. Lay on any sword you want that isn't getting out of the story because you can't use

that one yet. Mark thought for a second. Still not moving the knife from my neck. Then he asked, what? Why? No. How did you knock me out?

I know you have a dodgy history, but close quarter fighting is my specialty. But all I can remember is going to hit you. Then I went dark. Careful dods a move and slit my own throat, I said. You got desperate and I went for one hit knockout. Frankly, your left hook is too slow for to hit your opponent. When you clearly telegraphed exactly what you were planning on doing with your hips. I dropped under the blow and threw my elbow to the bottom of your jaw.

Like he's doing like Dragon Ball instant transfer. Like appearing around him. Then I've loosened a little. You seem to know your stuff. Why pretend to be a dumb ass then? Excuse me? First of all, I'm not pretending to be anything. Second of all, fuck you.

So on excuse or excite, he never puts the C before the X. Yes. So is this just excuse me? Exuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. Also, I will say that this story's nine times funnier when not only is it like this morbidly overweight guy, but Mark Wahlberg is legitimately impressed. Like he truly believes this guy's a super soldier.

Yeah, you're pretty impressive, actually. The knife. You want to be in the sequel to Mile 22? then I fell away completely now I took the opportunity to turn and start asking my own questions so you actually are a fucking monster hunter

then huh the dude monster hunter huh the words monster it does feel like this is this feels almost too too close to what we've talking about this feels like a a punishment for something

right Like because we got. I think it's what it was the pleasure is. Yeah. Yeah, that would do it. Monster Hunter, huh? We had a bear trap. A literal bear trap come up.

We had what was the other thing we said earlier that was a reference? Long story short. Long story short. Like they're just. These are our demons come back to haunt us. And then our character is basically David King. I mean, that's like that's what I keep thinking of. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. This is this is pretty much David King at this point. Stolen valor. Got that. Got that coming up. Like, man, you know how like every, and all the kids shows and all the animated shows,

there was an episode where someone attacked them at their base, like kids next door, Teen Titans. This is that episode for us. They found us. They're in our home now. He paused to a moment before replying. Yeah. I guess I am.

So why is an organization that employs Monster Hunter? There's also the owner of the organization that is helping me escape my past. I love the guy who types this dialogue and is like, yeah. He's like, hot freaking five, baby. This is awesome.

Why is the organization that employs monster hunters, the owner that's helping me escape my past? I wonder if Cole's a monster. Nailed it. Nailed it. Mark winced this time. Not a good sign.

Cole, the organization is to help you escape your past probably doesn't exist. My organization has many false companies that's used to gather intelligence and run experiments. I have reasons to believe that they put you here, knowing your past is an effort to see if anyone could survive in an area that is known for having extremely high levels of tangible activity. They also knew that if you were to die, they wouldn't have to worry about people looking for you. However, I also think that you probably far surpass their expectations.

The higher ups haven't actually told me so. but they can't possibly expect anyone to kill a keylood on their own or have fun with a creature like a flesh gate. Yo! Okay, I know flesh gates are creatures that exist in other stories. I get all that. But I don't think we've ever heard a flesh gate mentioned in passing in another story besides the flesh gate story, right? I don't think so. Man, there it is.

There's another one. Oh, my gosh. You know, either So I was laughing midway through that Because Yeah, morbidly obese guy Still sticking with that Or or our protagonist

Is the guy from Lee Cronin's The Mummy Yeah, there you go And he's doing that mouth open thing The whole time It's a slack shot look Holy shit, that was a lot to take it. I took a deep breath and cough asked.

What the fuck is a flush gate? Mark put both of his hands on his head and let out a... RAHs seriously, dude. Does anything even phase you? Flash gates are those things you call pails. They are only four, they're only level four, but still so much more people, but so much for most people to handle, let alone fuck with on a regular basis like you claim to do. The story is literally Mark Wahlberg telling the protagonist how cool he is.

Yeah. There goes that level. thing again. I had seen levels ranging from twos and threes all the way up into the hundreds on the reports that I read while browsing Mark's computer, but I had no clue what they meant. What the hell

is this level shit about? All the monsters in the computer have one, but I don't have what, but I don't know what they mean. I wonder if it's a level of severity of danger, dumbass. Like what do you what? It's not that hard to understand. It's very clearly going to be like an SCP kind of thing. Like instead of

anomalies, they're visible. or whatever he said. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be an SEP thing. And then Mark Wahlberg's going to explain it to us. Mark shot me an angry look. Guess he was still mad that I had gone through his shit. We base a beast strength of how many unnamed adult men we could predict they could take down before

being overwhelmed. One man equals level. One man is equal to one level. It's so stupid. All right. We've calculated that it's 107 men. It can kill 107 men to take one down. Bro.

It's, we're like, oh, it's going to be a leveling system, like danger and stuff. It was far stupider than we could have imagined. Yeah, that was, uh, I cannot believe it's a level based off how many single men it would take to take down the creature. I mean, how, what kind of fucking metric system? That's the dumbest metric system. That's like that's like that's that might be one of the dumbest things that's ever been like written on this body.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, after the like the organization that employs me as a monster hunter, is changing your past or whatever. I feel like that's really exasulated a lot. That's happening right now. It's funny when the story started,

we were like, oh, well, here's that why this is a problem. Here's why this was a problem. But now the whole thing is just... I just haven't given up. I just fucking get me out of this hell. Don't worry. We're only halfway. Just then remembered that the level besides the keylet was 107.

So hold up. You tell me that the thing. The keeler I killed was rated at. Before I could finish, he interrupted me. 100.5. No way I knew about the mine baking stuff, but that thing was no larger than a golden retriever. No way in hell it could kill 107 people.

Yeah, people predict that a dog, that dog thing could kill 107 people. No dumbass. They predict it could kill 106, then lose at 107th. I had trouble believing. Look, Mark, I read about how they cook your brain when you look at them, but I started the thing in the, I started the thing in the eyes that had no effect on me. Why?

This puzzled him. I really don't know. And that's why I didn't believe it when I first heard that some dude claimed that he had that he had shot Keelot to, they had shot a keelot to death on Reddit. What really confused me is why the higher-ups decided it was worth getting a team to go investigate. now I know they're fully aware of the caliber of shit that happens here. Speaking of caliber, can I see the gun that you used to on the keelet? Here we go. We're going to talk about the 45 again.

Just wait. It's also funny if you imagine this is again his hysteria around his police interrogation. I was like, wow, you sure do seem to know what you're doing. And he's like, mock wallbook thinks I'm pretty cool. Damn it. I knew this was going to happen as soon as I mentioned the gun in my post. The organization had a no-gun rule for me, which is why it was a pretty big deal that the lady in the tree had helped me get my hands on one. But now they knew and they weren't going to let me keep it.

Fuck off, dude. I'm keeping the gun whether your bosses want me to or not. To my surprise, Mark looked genuinely confused by my sudden response. I want to take your, I don't want to take your fucking gun. I just want to see it. A normal pistol shouldn't be able to kill it, kill it with one shot no matter how perfect the aim is. I need to see what makes this gun different and bring the bullets to. they are what I'm really interested in.

You really didn't know about the role I had been given about no guns. Weird. I reluctantly went into my room and retrieved my trusty 45 caliber thunderstick and the only box of ammo I had left. I started off with two large boxes of bullets, but over time, my supply was whittled down to just half a box. As soon as I dropped the weapon, the ammo onto the coffee table, Mark immediately started inspecting one of my bullets. No, I... Do you even know what these are, Cole? The 45 caliber?

Without looking up from the bullet, Mark began to explain. These are gnat rounds, especially designed to deal with unholy creatures of chaos. They're created when the medals used to make the bullets are blessed by Native American shamans and medicine men. You can tell what they are by the slight warmth they give off with the small vibrations you can feel when you squeeze them between your fingers. However, these are the most active rounds I've ever come in contact with. they're much warmer and vibrate much more than rounds than I'm issued. Is that lady in the tree gave you these? She's likely more powerful than you realize.

Plus my Native Americans. Mark looked up, maybe expecting some type of odd this revelation. Well, that's neat. I responded somewhat dumbfounded. I guess it was cool to have enchanted bullets and all, but it didn't change much in the grand scheme of things. Kind of like how your car speedometer goes up to 120 miles per hour. Most people will never drive that fast, but it's cool to know that when the time comes you might be able to.

Then again, I guess the magic bullets came in handy when I shot the keylet as well as a few other things, so maybe I should be more grateful. Before Mark scold me again for my lack of reaction to his astounding observations, we were interrupted by a knocking on the door. We looked over to see one of the three guys Mark had been working with when he first arrived. Through the window in my door, we could see him frantically beating on the wood, and looking over his shoulder. Oh, he just talked the van. Holy shit, Jack is dead and Philbers aren't bad. Don't help me.

Gali him, please. Is that an Indian accent? I'm just switching it up. I don't know. I think that's perfect. I think that's excellent. I think that you've got a divine inspiration there, and you should leave that.

Mark started to jump up and caught himself. Cole, this thing is good. It almost got me a second time Shit and it almost got me with the fucking help with a technique as well He started to smile At least Mark wasn't complete dumbass I watched Skinny as he began that stupid Grinny always did when he got figured out

And he darted off Not much has happened over the past few days And I'm starting to get used to my new roommate I'll still keep y'all posted though Something wild is bound to happen sooner or later Especially with all the patrols Mark keeps making us go on Cole signing off for now part six man just

just still has to this still has to either end in suicide or I would also settle for a gay sex scene would also settle for Mark and Cole having gay sex Cole are you sure we should be doing this I don't see why that's Bach

Mark Wolfer Cole are you sure we should be doing this and I like the idea suck my dick buck Wachwobug and eat my ass Do you have a butthole or any other genitalia? Yeah, Cole goes down. I see you have an asshole in cock and balls.

Yeah, that's pretty much what I got, Cole. Right, how perfect we do the lone Survivor thing, and then the super operator's name is Mark. Maybe this story isn't a curse, but a gift, a deliverance. Oh, all right, part six. Well, last post, I said something wild was bound to happen sooner or later. I wasn't disappointed. Mark has been living here for about a week now, and he finally got what he was looking for.

Action. It wasn't really in his favor, though. I mentioned the patrols he keeps taking me on last post, but I didn't really go into detail. He calls him patrols, but it's honestly more of a scavenger hunt. He even gets me a damn list, like a little kid or something. On the list were specific signs and objects that are indicative of tangible activity. Tangibles fancy talk for monsters. I asked him what an intangible was, is a joke, and he nonchalantly said,

Ghost, another shit that you can't touch. After I realized you was serious, I popped the question. Why did I just say monsters and ghost is shit? He thought for a moment. Because the people who named the stuff are nerds. I'm off on a tangent again. Back to the scavenger hunt. The list he gave me had a lot of stuff on it, and as I was walking through the woods for the second time that day,

One thing on the list kept catching my eye. Stairs, brother. Oh my God. Is it actually to do stairs in the woods? It is. It is. This was right after they were big. This is a couple of years after they were big.

Dude, I'm getting who's hood right now by all of the, like, references flying at me. Oh. Why would stairs even be on the list? That's not paranormal at all. Also, if there had been stairs in these woods, I would have already found them. That's not something.

than you miss. I mean, I thought this whole search around for stuff I did was stupid from the beginning anyways. I never searched for the hell spot on this property. It always found me all by itself. The only reason I even participated in Mark's patrols were to humor him so he wouldn't be as crabby and because I like to get outside anyways. Even so, stairs. I was looking at the list eyeing down the word stairs for the million's time when it suddenly got dark. Confused, I looked up to see that it hasn't actually gotten dark, I was just in a shadow. A shadow that was being cast by a tall, skinny wooden wall. I had been to this exact spot a few days earlier. There had been no such object. The wall was about five feet wide and ten feet tall, and I somehow almost walked directly into it

without realizing. I began to walk around it and quickly realized it wasn't a wall. Yep, you probably already guessed, but it was the back of a flight of stairs. I was honestly shook. It was like I had summon them after thinking about them too much. I immediately called Mark on the radio. He had given me for situations like this and yelled. Dude, I actually found stairs like real freaking stairs out here. I hadn't been this exited about something for in a long time. Why does he always spell it wrong?

He never put C's in front of the X. And I had no idea why I was exited now. I think it had something to do with me thinking the stairs were such a stupid thing to look for, only to end up finding some when I never expected. either way i barely heard mark respond with okay just stay put for a minute i'll be there soon and please stop screaming you're scaring away all the things out here he said something else but i wasn't listening i was far too engrossed in these stairs i had to go up them it wasn't like they were calling to me or anything it was more of the fact uh i was pretty sure i would be able to see my house from the top

so as mark still saying unintelligible commands on the radio i began to ascend As I walked up the stairs, the woods around me started to quiet down, which is weird in retrospect, but I really didn't pay any attention to that. Another thing I noticed, there wasn't any leaves or dirt or anything on the steps. Anyone who has experience in the woods knows that it only takes a few hours from Mother Nature to spread her shit all over any given object that is left in her care. The real anomaly happened when I hit the top step, though. See, the second my heel hit the top step, I heard Mark let out a... What in the son of a bitch? froze. I started weighed by options.

If I let whatever was out there kill Mark, I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. Also told myself, I wasn't going to kill people anymore. Does it really count as killing him if I'd just let him die, though? They'd probably just replace him anyways. Guess I'll go help. With that thought, I went to go help him. I like how it's like there was like a little camaraderie between them. Now it's like, I guess I shouldn't let him die.

I'm just such a cold-blooded killer It doesn't really mean anything to me My heart's far too scarred to feel love again Honestly expected there to be a pale claimed onto his foot Or for him to have fallen into one of Camus traps But alas all I found was marked Without shoes on, just socks

Clinching the toes of each of his feet in his hands For I could even ask him what was going on He stuttered You went on the damn stairs Didn't you yes and why does that matter i'm telling you if looks could castrate bad shit happens when you go up the stairs you dick i told you over the radio not to go up him ah must have missed that pod what happened to you anyways it's uh it's egregious how much that's just like line for line taken from the

surgeon rescue story yep like that's that's literally the you went up the stairs didn't you i told you never to go up um it's it's just the same plot element from that story. And this part's kind of nasty. Mark let go of the end of one of his socks to reveal that the toe area was covered in blood. He then removes a sock and I shit you not. All of his toenails were gone. Damn, how'd you manage that?

Are you daff, Cole? You did this when you went up the stairs. Yeah, sounds stupid I know, but I kind of believed him because I know for a fact that those stairs weren't normal. I'm certain of this because when I went back to where they were to show Mark, who was limping something awful. They weren't there anymore. Just disappeared. Mark wasn't surprised by this either. And in case you were wondering, I could not see my house from the top, which was a bummer. That's about it for the stairs, but something else did happen yesterday. The day after the stair incident,

actually meant a brand new monster, at least knew to me anyway. I think Mark knew what it was, but he wouldn't tell me. It gave him spooks, though. As you may have already gathered, it happened on one of Mark's patrols. He was actually a judge. adjusting a life without toenails pretty good. I'll give him that. The night before, he took a large amount of bandages and some rubbing alcohol for my bathroom. I guess he did a good job on him because he was walking pretty close to normal now. I did hear a lot of groaning and heavy breathing that night in my living room, though. I hope it was him patching himself up and not him having fun on his laptop, if you know what I'm saying.

Oh, I'm talking off. Anyways, we were walking through an area of the woods that stay somewhat dark during the day due to the dense tree cover blocking out most of the sun. Other than the lack of light, everything seemed pretty docile. That was until Mark started complaining about a noise. Paul, do you hear that? I think it's static or something. What?

No, I don't hear that. Mark put a hand on my chest stopping me mid-sentence. Look over to him to see what's up, and he is staring at me with extremely wide eyes. We need to get to the house now. I never seen him get this flustered, so I knew things were serious. I nodded. And we both turned to run to the house,

but the tall man was already blocking the way. Hold on. Tall man's, I mean, obviously slender man, but wasn't the one story about turn it off? Wasn't that creature called the tall man? Yeah,

I see there is definitely something that had it, like the tall man. To be fair, though, that's a pretty common thing. I don't know, I don't know if they're referencing something specific or not.

Yeah. Now, when I say tall man, I mean, really tall man. I'm also fairly certain and he wasn't a man. Tall man just makes a good name.

He was between 10 and 12 feet tall and was wearing clothes made out of what looked like dirty, brown, and tan rag stitched together. These racks covered his whole body, including his hands, feet, and face. He was also thin, but something deep in my gut told me that he held some kind of unnatural strength. As his image sank into my brain,

I heard Mark whisper. Holy shit, it's really one of them. There was a complete silence for a while, not actually sure how long. The only thing that I could hear was a slight static buzzing sound. No one moved in the silence. Not Mark, not me, not the pale that was about to bite into Mark's leg while he was distracted. Holy shit, Mark, look out, pale on your right!

With surprising speed, Mark pulled out his Glock and put two shots in the pale's head. It didn't move after that, but the tall man did. Sudden scuffle seemed to set the tall bastard off into a rage, and the one subtle static sound grew into a roar. Oh, there's a static sound? It's Slender Man. when slender gets near there's like static, remember?

Hmm. So this is literally, we have now added slender man to the compendium. Wouldn't he be in a suit though? Or do you think the author's like, well, if I put him a suit, it's too obvious?

Well, the author's like, he's going to remove one detail and instead of the suit, he put him as stitches. Yeah, yeah. But he still has the static and he's still tall. And I'm sure in a second

it's going to say he doesn't have a face or something. It was like no sound I ever heard before, but maybe something like the sound of metal being ground up by other metal. However, the sound was the least of our worries. It started spreading at us. It was originally about 30 yards away, but it seemed to cover the distance in the blink of an eye.

He was honest before we could react. He went for Mark first. Reach out for him with one of those long, skinny arms. His fingers seemed to stretch out just so that they could reach all the way around Mark's torso. As Mark was lifted off the ground, kicking and yelling. He emptied the rest of his clip into the tall man's head. It did nothing. That's about the time when the big, he was lifted. big black tentacles. Yep, slender man. The big black tentacles ruptured out from the creature's back. Six new weapons now ripping holes in the rags. This thing must be terrible at making its own cloths. Like, how hard would it be just to make tentacle holes so you don't end up ripping your shirts? Anyhow, I really didn't want this big fellow ripping up Markey, so I had to

figure something out. Before it managed to obliterate old Markey, it's literally calling it Marky, like Mark and Marky Mark and punch. Yeah. I drew my gun and emptied my own clip into various parts of the monster in an effort to find a weak spot no luck in fact the bullets bounced off him one of them whizz right past my ear it was like under those rags he was made of steel but i'm no quitter i now had his attention and i'm pretty sure mark was going unconscious at this point because he couldn't breathe due to the thing's death grip i drew my brand new bear grill survival knife with all my strength at its leg but i didn't stab it bullets couldn't get through this thing's my knife didn't have a chance, but I had a plan.

I got behind it, only to get snatched into the air by one of its tentacles. I was immediately faced to rags with this thing. Its tentacle was wrapped tightly around my stomach, and now had Mark and I both exactly where it wanted. I swear I could hear a deep demonic laughter within the still roaring static to fill my brain, but I stopped laughing when I started. I began scream laughing, not really sure why. Sometimes I think I might actually be insane.

Sometimes I think I might be insane. The tall man cocked his head to the side as if saying, You do know you lost, right? The only thing I was able to say before the last of my air was squeezed out of me was... I really hope this fucking works. With that, I took the knife that was still in my hand and sliced it to the tentacle as hard as I could. My hope is that since the tentacle can move so fluidly, the skin would have to be softer or weaker. Otherwise, it would be stiff and not flexible.

Oh, how right that theory was. I was met with a spray of hot black liquid and the static sound morphing into the sound of nails on a chalkboard. I fell seven or eight feet to the ground and it created a small crater in the earth. The crater lights on seven or eight feet to the ground and laid it flat on my back. That shit hurt, but adrenaline's a hell of a chemical, so I was back on my feet almost immediately. Two things I noticed off the bat. It was still holding a now unconscious mark and my attack hadn't quite managed to slice through the entire tentacle, but it was close. The things seemed to be deciding on whether to retreat or try to kill me again.

I took advantage of this slight hesitation and leapt at the now-limbed tentacle. I grabbed it and yanked with all the four-second muster. Now it completely severed itself from the beast. Suddenly all the sounds of my head stopped, and I heard Mark hit the ground to my right. I look up only to see the tall man's covered head aimed at its now disconnected appendage. Then at me. Then at the woods behind him. Then at me. Then it was tentacle. something tells me he's never been injured before.

After he finished looking at stuff, he bolted backwards just as fast as he had approached us before. Yes, he sprinted off backwards. What is with monsters and running backwards? Seems silly to me and dangerous. Anyways, I ended up having to carry old Mark over my shoulder back to the house, and he could stand to lose a few pounds. He woke up a few hours later,

that coming from Cole's great. Yeah, no shit. He could lose a few pounds. he woke up a few hours later and interrogated me on how I managed to scare the thing off after he passed out I told him I just ripped off my clothes and started running out the thing until it ran off

Mark said he won't let me see the things fall until I tell him what really happened but I wanted to sell the naked story maybe I'll tell him what really happened later and let you know what the real name of the creature is or maybe I'll try to convince Mark that while he's a monster hunter

I'm a monster predator there's our pedophile there's our indestructible pedophile. It's Cole the whole time. That's it for now though, guys. I'll post again soon. In case you were wondering, I haven't seen skinny in a few days.

I still haven't heard from the lady in the tree in a while. Life goes on, right? I'm sure to check out the other parts of the series. I'll have links below. Until next time, Cole signing off. Part seven. Part seven. The comments are so funny on these.

So in your past life, you killed someone? Also, you know what the thing is, I'll say this, part seven. Since part seven of nine we're coming up on. I'll say this as like a person who is like eight years ago when towards maybe not necessarily the giant peak, but there was a lot of stuff like big stories still coming out around that time. An idea of a guy making a short story of like an SEP style thing of a guy living in the woods where all these popular creepypastas live as if they're real could have been interesting.

and the way that like, uh, like, like now I'm picturing the idea of a cabin in the woods movie where it's like an organization that is set up to perform a task. I think it's, I think it's interesting. Like the merit is there.

But I think just the way that it's approached is just, it's too cheese and camp. And also it gets us, it gets us there too late. Like that just happened to humor. I don't also see the, I don't know why you should hide the fact that it's like, oh,

by the way, like I'm slowly going to reveal that these are all creepypastas that people, have read. I don't you can just start it with that and the guys in like the character is so like it's going to be a monster. I'm trying to figure out what story Cole is from because I feel like that's going to be the big like oh he's this character. I think is what we're leading to. Yeah. Well yeah, I imagine he's going to be a monster or something like that. Well, what's what I mean is but I'm wondering what story it's from. You know, I feel like that's the

reveal, but I can't tell. I don't think it's going to be a direct. I think the author is just trying to come up with stuff to put in his story. So he's like, Slender Man and Stairs in the Wood, sure. I don't think he'll be like, and this is Jeff, our protagonist, and Cole is Jeff the killer. Cole, the killer now, you know? All right. Part 7. So, Mark got possessed.

It was a new experience for me, honestly. Also, I think we're going to deal with Skinny soon. He destroyed a vein the other day that was carrying supplies out to us. I'll get to that later, though. I actually learned a lot from the spirit that possessed Mark before it left. And yes, it left. I didn't have to banish it or anything. Let me just tell the story before I end up spoiling something.

The day after the Tallman incident, for part six for more information, Mark started acting funny, but in a good way, in my opinion. He was much less commanding and hostile. Like, he had no energy. This meant he didn't want to keep checking around the property for monsters constantly,

and I was able to do what I wanted again without him complaining. When I noticed the change in his behavior, I thought of two reasons that could be causing Mark to act this way, one, he was sick, two, he was being a little scaredy prick after almost being killed by the tall man. Turns out I was wrong on both accounts. After two days of Mark being reserved and borderline unresponsive on my couch, I knew something was up. As much as I don't want to admit it, Mark's a badass in his own right. He isn't the kind of person to crumble after a traumatic event.

He's a fighter. I was aware of his unnaturally aggressive fight of. Just thinking about him getting mad about Stolen Valor earlier. so funny, I was aware of his unnaturally aggressive fight over-flight response when he first encountered Skinny and almost rushed a certain death just to show Skinny that he wasn't here to play games. On top of that, he didn't show any real signs of sickness. He was tired and slow to respond, yes, but he wasn't sensitive to light like a concussion. He wasn't hot or cold, no running nose, no trouble breathing, etc. It was on the third day of the strange behavior yesterday when I confronted

him and got an answer. So, Mark, any idea why you're so tired and lazy and shit? Just as I finished asking this, Mark shot up to a sitting position on the couch and whipped his head around to face me. In a voice much higher than his regular voice, he exclaimed, I thought you would never ask. I finally finished taking over this body a few hours ago when I was waiting for the right moment to reveal myself. You see, Mark is on vacation right now, and I'm taking his place. Oh, nice. When will he be back?

That voice coming from Mark Wahlberg's awesome His wide smile quickly found itself upside down You know what, Cole? This is why I really hate you You are literally no fun whatsoever Well, if you aren't Mark, then I don't know who you are And you, then I don't know you And how would you know that I'm not fun?

Don't you know it's wrong to judge a book by its cover? Mark's, no, the replacement Mark's voice was starting to sound irritated. I'm a ghost dipshit. I've been here for much trying to fuck with you. I haven't tried to possess you. But unfortunately for me, you are uncompatible. No matter how hard I tried to get your attention to scare you,

I was always mad with you brushing it off. I worked hard too. Like that time I moved the TV while you were watching, or the time I put holes in all your socks to put, to make your big toe pop out. I was finally starting to catch on what was happening at this point. I thought the TV was just the... Holy shit, you're the one who put the holes in my socks?

You a piece of cock meat. You made me think I had sandpaper toe. At least that one worked. Anyways, you probably already knew being a ghost had its limits. It's extremely difficult to having the effect on the physical world, and we can affect living tissue in any kind of direct way whatsoever. But now that I have a vessel, I can finally kill you. just want you to know right now that like legitimately and it doesn't matter. I it doesn't it doesn't

no it's about no it's all right. It's all right. No, go. No, it's all good. I don't I don't want to I don't want to continue until you say. I'll leave the show right now. You know, I'm, I'm totally fine. No, tell me. Don't do that. Don't do like the about to say something. No, no, it's nothing. I'm just going to complain. It's nothing. That's what I want. I want to hear you complain. I know you do it. I don't want to do it. Hearing you this upset right now is like, this is what's getting,

this is what's keeping me alive through this. I just, I just, I just, it's, it's fucking terrible. I don't, I hate this stupid fucking shit.

I'm driving, it's driving me insane. And I'm sure the viewer, I'm sure the listeners don't want to hear, but I'm like, I'm fucking hate this. Hey, as,

as the voice of the listeners, as you said earlier, we want to hear it. We, we're here. That, look, yeah,

the story's awful. I get it. Maybe when I was 11 I would have thought it was like funny or kind of cool but never scary, obviously right? I'm too old for the shit man. And it's exited and stuff like that. I get it. But the fact that I can hear you

doing the Mickey Mouse voice through Mark Wahlberg's body and at the back of it I can hear the insane level of contempt you have for this story. It's doing something for me. So are there traumatic readings of this on YouTube? Oh, probably.

Oh, there is. That's awesome. You can hear people with scary music at the back. I guess that's what this will be. But at least we break it up with commentary. But you can hear people do straight readthroughs of this very dramatically. That's awesome. Well, shit, that escalated quickly. As I processed the new information that I have just received,

fake Mark speaks up again. One thing I bet you did know is that a ghost? When I take over a body, I can't see all host memories. But the body still retains any natural reflexes and skills the host has required through his own or her lifetime. And this guy has some seriously badass skills. Fake Mark then sprang to his feet into the roundhouse kick that shattered a nearby lamp to a million pieces. Then turned to my wall, punched as hard as he could. I'm pretty sure he expected to punch right through, but only ended up leaving some bloody knuckle prints.

Yeah, there's a stud there. I said as fake Mark doubled over holding his damaged hand. I don't realize that. Thank you. He wheezed out before standing back up with a, it was standing back up straight again. Even so, this guy is plenty skilled enough to injure, sorry ass. Fake Mark's shout up with a grin. You must have been out the first night he got here, but okay.

He cocked his head a little after this comment that quickly brush it off and lunged at me. Uh, so my prediction for this is he was, the writer was thinking of how cool Mark Wahlberg is. And, but of course, how much cooler his main character. is, right? But they're friends. So he needed a way for them to fight. So he's like, oh, if a ghost possesses Mark, then they can fight. And I can show off how good of a fighter, Cole is, I think. Yeah. I'll try to explain what happened next best I can. As he rushed me, he threw a right-handed jab at my head. I countered this by hooking my arm over the inside of his shoulder with my left arm as I ducked the punch and put my right arm between his legs so I could lift him off the ground. I did. I then did. I then

to fireman throw, this is a horror story, by the way. I did a fireman throw, which basically means that I tossed him into the air and subsequently slammed it back onto the ground by exploding back up to a standing position and releasing my hold on his leg while skill keeping a strong grip on his shoulder. This made Mark fly over my head and still slam into the ground of my feet. I wanted to explain how this happened. So people. I wanted to explain enough with this so people don't accuse me of bullshitting. And for the record, I don't think this could have walked on real mock. I'm sure he would have seen it coming.

Anyways, this should have knocked a breath out of him, so I wasn't ready when he punched the back of my knee and dead liked me so perfectly I went straight to my ass. Middle school me would have just taken notes on perfect execution of this move. Fake Mark ended up getting back to his feet before me. Unfortunately, and jumped on to me, putting me flat on my back. Fake Mark then healed his fist back for a final blow.

As his fist flew towards my face, I managed to move my head to the side at the last second, and his first connected with the hardwood floor at a respectable speed. He may have been able to recover from this quickly if it hadn't been the same hand that he had already smashed on the wall a few moments before. As fake Mark winced at the pain, I threw my leg in the air and proceeded to connect

with his no-no square. No, no square, Hunter. No, no square. It was more effective than the slam from earlier, that's for sure. I stood up slowly while Fake Mark tried to decide if he should use his remaining good hand to grab his crotch or his shattered knuckles. Before he could decide, I grabbed his Glock that was sitting on the coffee table and took aim. Didn't take Fake Mark long to look up and realize that I now has a completely control

of the situation. He stood up but didn't make any further advance at me. He instead opted to put out a pouty face and plop down into my recliner and defeat. Then it hit me. Why are you afraid of dying? That isn't even your body. You can't die again, can you? Fake Mark snapped back and a still somewhat aggressive tone.

If this body dies, well, I'm in it. I get sent back and I don't think I'll be able to escape again if that happens. Why are people always so vague when I asked the question? Escape of where? That's an important detail. I fully expected fake mark to snap back again, but all I did was look me in the eyes and mumble. Hell. The absolute tear on his face seemed genuine. And usually I try to stay respectful and patient when someone's in my emotional state like that. Fortunately for fake Mark, he wasn't a person.

He was a ghost that was possessing my acquaintance. And I don't really appreciate that very much. So I continued with my questioning. How'd you escape hell the first time? Fake Mark was surprisingly cooperative now. I found a gateway walked through it ended up on this land. I think there's some sort of pour of the hell around here. It seems like that's mostly ancient creatures that come out through instead of regular spirits. What do I think I can figure is it? Banish a hell way to live back out of these locations.

This is great for me. You being forced to read this dialogue. That's awesome. Damn, I was expecting a badass story about a battle with the devil. Not an actual plausible cause for all the crazy shit going on here. I also love that. that even this story couldn't resist giving an explanation to everything. It gives an explanation about everything besides the character itself,

which is so fun. Well, you seem to know you shit. Why do I get that idea that you know more about hell the bosses of the average lost soul? I was a preacher in life. Why were you in hell? Because I studied the occult by spare time and skipped out of the donation bowl. that makes sense guess God is

cheeky like that but what makes you think all the weirdos and those words come from polar the hell I was a preacher that's how I know where the hell

portals are fake mark that started speaking in a more relaxed and confident manner not all the beast out here come from portal actually most of them

don't just suffer particularly nasty ones you bet the one the other day you think you Carl's the toll bin. He's a recent immigrant. I think I got

vicious. Don't you? Carl Weezer, but he's so mad. He's about to, he's about to explode. Jimmy, I think I'm gonna fucking kill myself.

Jimmy, I want you to make me a scientific machine that fucking puts a bullet in my head. Just a gun. Now, Jimmy, I'm too afraid to do it myself. You're gonna have to fucking kill me. out with your vichy.

Oh, put yourself in the head. Blast, Carl. Yeah. Be a bandit brain blast all over my ceiling, Carl. Jimmy, I'm afraid to brain blast. I want to die, but I'm afraid to do it, Jimmy. Carl, my mom wants you to do it.

Carl, if you want to have sex with my mom, you're going to have to brain blast. You'll have to do it in Falhalla, Carl. Yeah. at the table with Vikings, Carl. Jimmy, I think if I kill myself

in your living room, I'm not going to go to Valhalla. I don't think that makes me a Viking, Jimmy. I don't think that makes me a warrior, Jimmy. Carl, it does.

It makes you a warrior, killing yourself. I like how they give the hell explanation, but they clarify it's not a real explanation just some of the time. It's so, it's so nonsensical.

stupid i'm not even going to acknowledge it at this fake mark started grinning he was right i do exactly uh who he was talking about it's that chuck hulu guy the chosen worship is a thing fake marks grin transformed into a grimace holy hell call i seriously fucking despise you it's that thing you call skinny if thulu is a cosmic identity from another plane of existence super from hell skinny out of their hand is an absolute prod of him of hell so he's a demon then. No, not a demon, but an amalgamation at least a few other creatures. I'm pretty sure Lucifer ran himself. If I had a guess, Lucy tried to take over the mortal plane is throwing some creatures out here to test the waters before it's assault. Shit, that isn't good. I might be

as bad signs since I keep mooting skinny. Although, also, do you know what skinny is? No, but I do Just the level of the level of descriptions get too so absurd, but you going, I should bring a gun to school. Parts will never know. I don't know, Jimmy. I don't think that's a good idea to bring a gun to school. You got to do it for my mom, Carl. You got to do it for my, you got to do it for my mom, Carl.

I remembered that tree. I thought it had been attacked by the family of six let beavers that lived down by the creek, but I guess I was wrong. just the leggy people just the level slapping my belly this will be in a western for the audience

don't want I thought that's what you look familiar he's just like you fucking funny six-legged Viva Dowdell And they probably eat golden chocolate. It was beginning to seem like fake mark was a serious asset when he came to knowing about the stuff around here. I'm also curious about what different monsters make up skinny.

If any of you have any ideas, feel free to comment them because I'm pretty clueless as of now. The invitation thing is for vampires, though, isn't it? I don't know. Sounds too cliche to be true. Anything else you want to get off your chest, Precha, man? I guess I don't know for that question.

Fuck you! I'm a woman! I'm tired of being so... I'm tired of you being so damn clueless, you fucking pig! What? I didn't know that women preachers what a thing. Again, poor choice of words, Cole. We were practically screaming at each other at this point, which, in hindsight, was really unnecessary.

Okay, to be fair, you don't look or sound like a girl in Mark's body. And all I ask is that you answer one more question. Fine! I had been wondering about this since the beginning of the conversation, so I was ecstatic to get one more chance to ask. You said I was incompatible for you to possess me. Why is that? At this fake mark took on a serious expression. It means that you are either a descendant of some saint or some godly power favors you.

Or maybe, no, couldn't be that. With that fake mark, seemed to pass out, because it was the spiritly, in the body. Soon after Real Mark started to wake up and ask where he was. I told him it was a long story, but he should probably get some fresh air before I told him. But he grabbed my outstretched hand so I couldn't help him up. I squeezed. While he yelled in pain, I calmly told him,

You all be a new lamp. That's all for Mark's possession. He actually took the news pretty well. I think he's been possessed before or something. I kept the part about me. being incompatible to myself. Not really sure why. Just didn't seem like something I should share at the time.

Things are heating up around here. Something big is going to happen soon. And with that information, we got out of the spirit preacher lady. It's starting to look like me and Mark can't do this on our own. I think he called him back up, but he won't actually tell me for sure. Just keeps looking out the windows a lot. Up to again soon, Cole signing off. Perfect. Don't worry, Hunter.

So the next part, here's the links. I'm going to DM it to you, buddy. Deamming it to you. There's part seven. you're a bad man you know that that but that buddy was fucking devious that buddy was devious the way you said that that was definitely snar of that

there you go buddy no no you're talking about friend yeah friendo all right part eight are you ready you don't I hate with all these stories too the longer goes by the more they have to like cram into the last couple parts yes so they're always a lot longer towards

yeah part eight you started I'm going to take a pitch real quick I'll be right back just just start Yeah. Guys, I've got a good bit of explaining to do. I've lied to you all on a few occasions now. I haven't lied about any of the creatures, ghost, or people, though, so don't worry about that. But I have lied about how I acquired some of my possessions. As you all know by now, I did not purchase my 45 caliber handgun. It was gifted to me someone indirectly by a good friend.

What I've not explicitly stated yet was that I didn't exactly buy my house or property either. I'm sure many of you already figured that out, though. What I'm getting at was that I was placed here. Three years ago I was approached by an organization while I was hiding out in a bar in Mexico. I have no idea how they found me because even though I had been shit-faced for two solid weeks, I know for sure knowing in that area even spoke English, so I don't think I could have read it myself out. I tried to find someone, honestly. Also, the people I was hiding from are not paranormal in any way.

And that is a story I'm not certain I want to share right now, but I may share later on. Anyways, this group approached me and made me an offer. Again, I had been shit-faced for two straight weeks, so my memory is spotty. For what I can remember, they said something about helping me escape the problems I had created with that group. Normally, I would have immediately suspected that they were the enemy in disguise, but again, drunk-assed me thought this is the greatest thing that could happen. I mean, they were offering me a free place to stay with a limited amount of monthly allowance to purchase food and whatever else I needed. I just assumed it was government funded.

Then again, the government thinks I died 12 years ago, I think. None of that matters now, though. See, I pretty much figured out what really happened behind the scenes with some help from Mark. We've been sharing a hospital room for the last week, so we had plenty of time to think. I'll get to how we got here soon. I think this is going to be a long post. So as much as Mark and I can figure, the organization that was offering me witness protection type services was actually a fake front that was run by the monster hunting group.

that Mark works for. Their goal was to find someone with above average survival skills to see how long a human could last in an area with a highly concentration of screwed up things roaming around. Okay. Let me emphasize that the assholes that plan this experiment probably didn't expect me to survive my first encounter, let alone live there for three years. Then when the keylets showed up, they got giddy. According to Mark, they have never been able to observe a dead key lot before the one that I killed. He sure knows how to make me feel special. That's what Mark and his crew got sent out and old Marky has been with ever since. I think that was four-ish weeks ago. But enough of the theory shit. Let me tell you about the cluster that put me and Mark in the hospital. That ghost preacher

bitch that possessed Mark a while back only got about half of her facts right. I found this out when Mark and I decided to go to the home base of the local cult that lives on the back of the property. They call themselves the chosen. I don't know why they're chosen for, but I know. I know. know for sure that no one in that rag tag group of dipshits shouldn't be chosen for anything but extermination. They have tried to, quote unquote, sacrifice me three different times now. The last attempt, they went as far as attempting to try and burn down my house, but I caught them in the act and convinced their leader, short Latino man named Hector, to not bother me anymore. I really didn't want anything to do with them because they're so awkward. But Mark was certain that

they probably have some information about why more deadly creatures seem to be popping up at a higher rate or maybe at least have some knowledge about Skinny. I try to convince him that I knew more than chosen when it came to Skinny, but he insisted that I was about as observant as Helen Keller, whoever that is. So there we are, standing in front of their little shanty town they call the Ponderosa. It's mostly made up of metal sheds and parts of mobile homes. Yes, parts. in people living inside with whole walls missing. Keep in mind that these people aren't poor. Almost all the members have nice cars and trucks parked outside their homes,

a new Chevy Silverado, nice Ford Mustang, many other things I don't know the name of the top of my head. I don't really understand what philosophy leads to them living happily in shithole like this, to each their own, I guess. We found Hector pretty quickly. He was in the middle of the squalor preaching about something or other. he noticed me and Mark almost immediately due to the fact that neither of us

were wearing dark robes like the rest of the cultist Mark was wearing black combat pants and a great long-sleeved shirt that made him look like he meant business I on the other hand was wearing blue jeans and a Twizzler T-shirt Hector stated somewhat solemnly I guess we have a guess now

and proceeded to step down off the upside-down five-gallon bucket as he approached Mark whispered just loud enough for me to hear they're surrounding us and sure enough he was right looked around to see not only Hector approaching us, but about 60 different cultists approaching us from different directions. They were closing in, and both Mark and I prepared to draw our weapons and defend ourselves when Hector called out,

Children, call down. Don't you see he's got a gun now? Let's please try not to get on his nerves. I could see Mark starts smirking out the corner of his eye, but I didn't have the heart to tell him that they weren't talking about him. Look, Mr. Hector, right? We were just wondering if he had any idea. of where some of the paranormal creatures in this area coming from. The questions seem to make Hector uncomfortable. We haven't seen anything like Sparrocks here, so. Just then, one of the black cultists came busting through the surrounding crowd. Then Bishop Hector, the baby doll spider came back.

At this revelation, Hector knew that we knew that he knew what we wanted to know. All I could do was look back and forth from his distraught follower and us. He finally decided to just awkwardly smile at us. As much as Mark wanted to continue questioning, we both noticed that the cultists that came back was missing large chunks of his robe and his flesh. While the man stood there hyperventilated in front of his leader, Mark pointed something out to me. Cole, Cole, he's holding a seven hand. We didn't want anyone to overhear us while all the focus was on Hector trying to console a hysterical man. I respond to Mark's observation with,

Look, if this thing is coming, we may have to put the skinny hunt on hold. As much as these people are nuisance, I don't really want to see a community get slaughtered. Mark shot a conflicted look at me. I agree, but we aren't prepared for a fight with something like that. While we were talking, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Sonia, Hector's Second in Command. I didn't see her since the last time I was in their little neighborhood, and I hadn't really left on a good note. Now she looked deadly serious.

Cole, we have all the information you want and some that you probably don't. But before I tell you, we need your help. This thing is going to tear us to shreds, but I have a way to get rid of it. Sonia was the only member of the chosen that struck me as somewhat smart. I think she was raised into the cult, and that was the only reason she hasn't left. In some twisted way, it's her own, it's her only family. Before Mark protest, I answered. We're in.

So what do we? So what do we? I was interrupted before I could finish my sentence by a loud screeching. The sound was beyond a natural. I could describe it as a young woman screaming in terror, but the tone kept changing instantly, like a shitty auto tune from hell. Mark and I looked at each other. Fuck.

Fuck indeed, Mark. Fuck indeed. Oh, man. Just you reading that. It's really worth it. This is really one of the best stories you've ever read. I hate you as a person. There's nothing else that we could have read that would make you say that out loud.

But you did for me just now. I hate you. That's a gift. And I should appreciate these gifts as I received them. I looked back to ask Sonia what she planned doing but when I looked in her direction she was already sprinting off I really hope that she was grabbing some sort of secret weapon and not just being a coward I didn't have time to dwell on these thoughts though that's the beast cresting the hill mark said as he jerked my attention back to

the situation at hand sure enough as I look through the trees that lead uphill I could see a mass of tan white and dark red charging down the hill as it got closer the coldest started running around wildly some pulled out spears and knives but that looked like they were trying to used chopsticks for the first time. There were going to be much help. I was starting to make out some details of the things as it approached. The main defining feature of the baby doll spider was that it was in fact made of what looked like baby dolls, not just dolls though, mannequins, cosmetic practice heads. It seemed like all of the different objects were held together by some magic stickiness. I disagree with calling it a spider too. It had four legs and two arms. It was shaped

to more like a centaur. Another odd detail was each body part was made up of that specific body part. Where the heads should be, there was a massive mannequin doll and other forms of heads that were crammed together. Same role falls for the arms, legs, torso, and so on. Bach, what the hell is that thing? I don't know. Usually if you see a doll or something moving around, that's a possession, but this is something else entirely. The lady you were talking to better have a good idea.

The abomination was now closing in and had reached one of the outermost sheds that dotted the Chosen's headquarters and began tearing it to pieces. I don't think guns are going to work on this thing. I bet doesn't have internal organs that a bullet could damage and I doubt that it would respond to Nat round since it doesn't work, since it doesn't look Native American. We're going to need to use stuff that will break it. Park said as he grabbed a spear from a nearby cultist and slung it at least 40 yards to hit the thing in the torso. What the heck? What the fwick? Mark can throw spears now?

Even though it was a solid hit, the monster didn't reel back at all. It just looked in our direction, let out another screech before charging at us full tilt. It was at this point that I realized that the beast was not colored red anywhere on its body. All of the deep red I had seen was just blood that was caked on with the baby doll centaur.

Damn it, doll spider does sound better. As it got closer, Mark yelled. Get its attention. I got an idea. I nodded and pulled out my 45 pistol, knowing that it wouldn't kill it. But I could at least distract it. I now realize that I'm actually starting to trust mark with my life, something I haven't done in a very long time.

You miss that when you went to the bathroom hunter, you missed at the beginning where Cole told us that he was found by the organization while he was drinking and hiding in Mexico after me. like every, every, like, expendables movie ever. I started hitting center mass as the creature near the 10 yards from Mark. He now stopped and turned towards me. Mark took advantage of this brief pause and sprinted at the creature. I was confused by this until I saw the round thing in his hand, a grenade.

I kept firing and Mark slid under the belly of the beast and plunged his hand in between the parts that made up the creature's torso. Then continuing his slide out from the other side. As he got back to his feet, he yelled, And dove behind a nearby Cadillac. All the creature had time to do was start to look over in Mark's direction before it was obliterated by a teeth rattling explosion. Hundreds of body parts rained down everywhere. That may have been the most badass thing I've ever seen.

It's really a good thing that Mark started carrying grenades with him everywhere since the Tallman incident. Cheering began erupting from all around the compound, but the celebration was short-lived. As I jogged over to check on Mark, I noticed that the body parts were still moving. Not only that, but they were all moving towards the same central point. The yells of joy started dying as more people began to realize

that things were putting itself back together. Just as Mark started to grab for another grenade concealed somewhere in his body, I heard the familiar voice of Sonia screaming my name. Call, take this! The woman that lived in the tree said you wouldn't know what to do with it. With that, she tossed me what looked like an oversized minnow catching net. That didn't make any sense. There's no way in hell that this thing would be afraid of a net.

like the pales were, even if it was bigger. All my delts melted away when I caught the net, though. Sonia was right. I knew exactly what to do. A wave of something came over me when my fingers made contact with the net. It was like an absolute certainty of something, but I wasn't sure what exactly I was certain of. I looked down at the net and realized that where the weights were on a normal minnow net,

this one had medium-sized rocks. On these rocks were symbols or runes of some sort that I didn't recognize. They would have been hard to see on the rocks if they weren't glowing a bright blue color. Mart looked at me with the stare of confusion and snapped back to reality. Snap back to reality. There it is. And commanded. Get your assy gear and use that thing.

I bolted in the direction. Like even Mark Wahlberg's becoming disinterested. I bolted in the direction of the now half-formed doll spider and slung the net over the wriggling mass of body parts. Nothing happened. kept moving into place and the net didn't seem to phase the thing. Belshad. Boll shit. He remarked said to himself from behind me.

Then it hit me. It was like I remembered something I had never even learned. Before I knew what I was doing, the word... Raku lachshah! Scaved to my mouth. Immediately, all of the once-blue rooms changed into a deep red and smoke started rising from the net. The beast managed to get one more half of screech in before it, well, I guess it just kind of stopped existing. While the cheering started to erupt again from the cultist, I immediately approached

Sonia. Something she had said when she first approached was hanging heavily on my mind. So do you might explain me why you called her the lady who lived in the trees and not the lady who lives in the trees? So it was more force than was probably necessary. Look, cool. I know you need to know she came to me and explained everything. Yes, it's our fault that some of these beasts exist, but the shapeshifter needs to be dealt with now and you're ready to take on that task. she came to me hector doesn't even know and she she was certain that it was you who'd be able to fix this

please just listen the somber tone of the young wounds of his voice told me that my suspicions were true the lady in the tree hadn't been hiding or avoiding me this whole time and that was really hard to swallow this was the beginning of a path to a dark place that i hadn't visited in years i just hope that mark is willing to come with me there's more to this story but this entry is getting too long so I'm going to cut it off here and post the rest of the story at a later date. Until then, Cole's signing off. All right. Top comment.

Top comment on part eight. This is the most interesting series of anything I have ever read. So you have to take everything you read online with a little great assault, dude. The good end of that. Oh, you're saying that guy's trolling. You're saying he wasn't earnest. No, no, no. I'm just saying

that like I think people just throw out big things like that. Oh, oh, to be Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to be overly nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, well, in that case, last part. Are you ready for part nine? I am ready.

So where did I leave off? You know, that's right. I just found out the one person on this Godforsaken plot of land that I had considered to be on my side before Mark showed up is dead. That's right, folks. The lady in the tree wasn't mad at me. She wasn't ignoring me. She had been deceased for almost a year now. She's the only one who really provided me with the means to survive over the

past three years. She gave me a gun with magic bullets. She gave me hearing and an ear that had been destroyed. She gave me antidotes, alcohol. I'm pretty sure she even did my laundry once. Funny! I also can't help to think that she had something to do with the fact that the spirit preacher couldn't possess me. The most important thing she gave me, though, was her trust. Based on the few times she had directly communicated with me through letters. She had always alluded to the fact that I was supposed to be the one to help cleanse this land of the supposed darkness, like I was the chosen one or some shit. Whether I'm actually special or not, though, she trusted me absolutely, and I failed. In her mind, I was battling these monsters and scaring them away from here. I was the heroes she

had been waiting on, for she couldn't fight the creatures directly due to some sort of oath. In reality, all I've done for the past three years was stick around and get lucky. I've never gone out looking to solve the monster problems around here. Even when I set the trap for camo, that was purely selfish in reasoning. I was just annoyed by his constant attempts at trapping me. I didn't do it for the greater good of the land. Looking at my life, I've never really done much to serve anyone else but myself. Even the stuff I did after my dad was killed, I wasn't avenging him.

I was getting revenge for me. I don't know why she ever decided that I was the one who would make things right. What instincts had told her that I was the man that would finally change. something. I really wish she had never decided on me in the first place because the fact alone is why I typed this in a hospital bed. My throat's hurting and my lip is trembling. Actually, that might be the hospital's food's fault. Not really sure at this point. Enough sad monologing. Time to get back to what happened. Sonia had some explaining to do and I fully expected to get every ounce of useful intel from her. First question I needed answered was what the hell happened to the lady in the tree.

Sadia, what happened to her? She looked at the ground. It was obvious that she was dreading having to explain this to me. She snuck into what was left of my shelter in the middle of the night after Skinny attacked the Ponderosa. She told me. At this mark, who seemed to materialize from nowhere, cut her off. Look, I understand you want to get right to the part where the tree lady died, but first there's some other questions that I need to answer. Oh my God.

No. Why did Skiddy attack in the first place? Do you know where he came from? Do you know how to stop him? I turned to argue with Mark because I was the one who wanted to get to the part where she died, but unfortunately, Mark was right. Yeah, as much as I want to hear about what became the Lady of the Tree, we need to start for the beginning.

Now, what was it about, now what was it that you were saying some of these monsters popping up were her fault? I guess Mark hadn't heard the part of the previous conversation because now he looked at me with a surprise etched into his face. Sonia was even slower to answer this time. Well, Cole, it wasn't my fault per se. You know, how stubborn and persistent Hector can be, right? I didn't really like where this was going, but I had a pretty good idea.

Yeah? I mean, you tried to kill me. What? Six times, I think. Without thinking, Sonia replied. Nine, but that's not what's important. What's important is that Hector has been trying to summon Cthulu for years now. This is awesome.

Awesome, man. Just hearing you read, Mark Wahlberg's there. This dude's like four foot eight looking up at everyone, but he's like the ultimate operator. Like this is good for me. But in the last year, he's finally starting to having progress, sort of. Mark chimed in. What exactly does progress consist of? Can I get into it?

I get into it. What exactly? What exactly does progress consist of? I got to get fine. Well, that. So, what? What?

No. What exactly does it? What exactly does. progress consist of. What's really funny is when you tried to fuse Mark Wahlberg and Donald Trump, it became Tony Soprano. Yeah, exactly. Pretty much started by Tony, pretty much.

That really is, if I think about it, if you fuse the Mark and Trump like voices. Did you get James Gantafini? Yeah. Fuck you, Carmela. Oh, do you want to tell people the audio message

you sent me? Do I still have that? I think I save that. that. I can't remember. I think I saved that. Hold on. Please tell me I save that. With no context the other day, Hunter sent me this audio message. We weren't talking about the Sopranos. No one had mentioned it. We were talking about a business thing. And I said, hey, what do you think? And he replied with this. Oh, wait. That's a different one. Well, okay, so that was a different voice message. He'll do that sometimes. But there's, there's, there's. That one's good too.

Just the screaming. Gosh, I think I didn't save it, Rip. Anyway, Hunter sent me an audio message where he was Tony Soprano in relations with Christopher. And he was moaning and saying, don't tell Carmelo Chrissy over and over.

Yeah. I remember that now. Yeah. Completely. I don't know why I saved the one of you screaming, but not that one. It's like. that all the time with him. Anyway, the young cultist paused for a moment, deep in thought.

Well, the attempts at summoning rituals started working just not as planned. Thanks for coming through the portals we created and things weren't what we meant to summon though. So far we summoned a 15-foot tall, cloaked tentacle man that had been kidnapping our brothers and sisters on a regular basis until recently. The baby doll monster you both just saw and spirits that keep creating minor inconveniences like broken plates and shoelaces being stolen from their respective shoes. but the last thing we summoned, and by far the most vicious, was the shape-shifter. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. So let me get this straight.

You people are responsible for the tall man, the ghost preacher bitch, the baby doll abomination, and skinny? Was there ever a point where you thought, damn, but these wits was aren't really helping us not very much? Maybe we should stop. Sonia shrugged as she looked at me. This is Hector we're talking about. She had a point. Hector doesn't know when to quit. Mark decided to pipe up again.

And what finally happened to convince you that these rituals were a bad idea? When the shapeshifter killed half of us and then only stopped after saying that he was going to take a nap and come back for the rest of us later. That's a pretty solid reason. I said after considering what she said. So, was it during Skinny's nap that the lady that Twinkay to talk to you? Yeah, it was a few hours after the attack. The community was an absolute chaos while Hector tried to calm everyone down. I was in the shed trying to figure out what I absolutely needed to do. to take with me when I fled.

That, when I hear a woman whisper, hey, to me, it was her. I merely knew she wasn't one of us because she doesn't wear much in the way of clothes. And we are very strict about our dress code here. Let's see what? This time, Sonia took a deep breath and closed her eyes before answering. She said that she had to save us from the shapeshifter, but she had a message in a few things that she needed to leave with me. After telling me this, she went back outside for a moment. and when she came back she was carrying three large nuts

she explained that the nets were for the man that lived with the hill, you and that I was to give them to you as soon as possible. She also said that she thought of a way to keep the shape shifter from attacking anyone again until you had a chance to deal with them. This revelation puzzled me. I knew for a fact that the lady

in the tree couldn't directly attack or harm any creatures as part of an oath. Mark stayed silent, deep in thought. I on the other hand kept on pressing Sonia for answers. So why the fuck did you tell anyone Why is you telling me any of this sooner? This information would have been hang,

would have been hang, oh, I don't know, like a year ago? Sonia flinched as I finished my sentence. Honestly, Cole, I just, I was just scared that if you saw me, you would kick the shit out of me. Guess I can't blame her. Because you're so tough and awesome. I just, I just thought that you beat the hell of me

because you're so alpha cool. I guess that's not. I can't blame you on thinking of that. Sometimes you gotta put a girl in a place, you know Again, she's like six foot He's four eight looking up at her I guess I can't blame her for that one I did kick the shit out of Hector

Right in front of her a couple years ago Okay, okay Okay, okay, did she tell you that she had Did she tell you how she planned on doing this? She never got the chance to Before she explained any further We heard screaming along the Along with the sound of ripping metal outside

We rushed out to see nine foot tall Ron McDonald ripping someone in half while laughing like a madman. The Native American... Hey, hey, hey, Ronald McDonald is another episode callback.

Ronald McDonald's. The Native American woman... These are not strong enough to be like directly to us, but Ronald McDonald has never been mentioned in another story besides the Ronald McDonald one. The Native American woman looked at me one last time and said,

make sure to tell Cole that he alone can send these beasts back into those nets send these bees back using those nets he may not know it yet but he will know what to do when the time comes the elder spirits will guide and protect him but that the indian woman took off towards the shape shifter which was now a giant werewolf and she got closer she started screaming some words that didn't understand she also started glowing blue which was odd she finally got the shape just call him skinny it's catchier sonia seemed kind of annoyed that i interrupted her but she continued all the same

She got Skinny's attention when she stopped five feet from him. She was lit up like a blue glow stick at this point. She had stopped chanting at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, at this point, and was just standing in front of Skinny trying to catch your breath when Skinny said, well, aren't you different? I've never killed a glowing one before and proceeded to casually swipe at her and clawed with the clawed hand. Any woman didn't flinch, but the first claw made, uh, made contact with her and there was a deafening accompanied with an explosion of what looked like Red Miss. Skinny can vaporize people? I blurted now a little more wary of my plans to attack the entity.

Sonia was quick to set me straight though. No, no, no. She did something to herself with those incantations before that point, all Skinny had done were straight people in the smaller portions of people. Mark muttered in response. Probably some curse that she sat on herself as a type so when it attacked her. It would trigger. His spy bypassed, who will cause

director harm to his creatures in the way Skinny Christopher self-attack attacking her on the way as well. Did anything change about schemes behavior after the lady in the tree, you know? What was that under? I didn't really hear that. What is it?

That's Mark muttering. Mark slid his thumb across his through in a slicing motion as he finished. He glanced over at me with what looked like pity in his eyes. Yes. What's your name?

His look of pity, quickly turned her look of annoyance. Ma. The expert said with a growl. Yes, Mark. His behavior did change. See, after the Indian woman disappeared, yeah, after the Indian woman disappeared, it only took a few seconds for skating to regain his composure.

He almost immediately started laughing, then said, what the hell was that? A suicide bomber attempt? Pathetic. However, as he lunged to grab yet another one of his sisters, he fell to the ground in writhing agony. He got up and tried again and again, but each time he attempted to tax a one,

he was met with paralyzing pain. So the cuss makes it so skinny can hurt anyone? Because six months ago, skinny smacked a dog. Hold on, hold on. Did the woman in the tree become the Native American woman? Yeah. Okay.

She was just a Native American woman this whole time. Instead of just saying it was a Native American woman, he had to say the tree person, which is. Okay, so she was oddly offensively. she was just a native American woman. Yeah, could have just learned that there was a Native American woman, but he's like, it's the tree lady. Cool. I gotcha. Okay.

So the curse makes it that skinny can't hurt anyone because six months ago, skinny smacked a dog shit out man, I almost died. Not quite. See, the curse has one catch. We found that out with Martin. Cthulhu blessed his soul, tried to take advantage of his inability to attack and launched an assault of his own. But when his baseball bat made contact with the creature, he was immediately struck down. by a clawed hand. Oh, God, Isaiah.

Good God. What are they even saying? The curse? Who fucking, who knows? If you try to hurt it, it can hurt you, I guess. I slept my palm against my forehead. Ah, that makes sense.

See, he can only attack you attack first. That's why he tries to get us pissed at him. He made it seem like he was trying to lure outside to disguise the fact that he actually moving against you like that. Um, I couldn't really pick up that last sentence. Could you? Yeah, he said,

he made him see my name he was trying to go in. Okay. It's trying to find that he was actually talking to you. Uh, uh, yeah, I think I got it at that time.

Yeah. Both Sanya and Mark looked at me somewhat startled for a moment before Mark spoke up. Call, pardon of me, but I'm honestly only used to you saying stupid shit, but I think you actually might be right this time. Started to argue,

but quickly realized he was right. Screw you, Mark. So, Do I kill Lebanish skinny by tossing one of those nets on him and yelling one of my magic words coming to my head? Wait, don't the actual fact that I know the actual magic words to use. Son answered me with? Yeah. I don't really understand that either, but let's just roll with it.

I love explaining everything to like such a ridiculous. No, it's awesome. It's really good. And then being like, well, not that thing, but okay. Just then I heard Mark say. What the fuck? from right behind me. This was odd since Mark had been standing in front of me

for a few minutes now. Oh my God, it was skinny. And sure enough, there was a second mark behind me. Oh my God, it was skinny. This meant that either skinny just walked up pretending to be Mark or even worse. He had been talking to us the whole time and now knew everything that we knew. Oh, God. Sonia and I both backed away from it.

Oh, my God. Sonia and I both backed away from the barks as they stared at each other in confusion. And then back to, oh, we get the whole like, I'm the real. He's the imposter, the Spider-Man thing, yeah. The Mark on the left yelled. Throw the net on it. Now, he should change the end of him. The other fire's back.

No, he's trying to trick you. Throw it on here fast. After a moment, I thought and said, Okay, so I think I have a way to figure this out. Whichever one is a real mark just has to punch the other mark to prove you can attack first. Both Mark shouted. But then he'll kill me. This, Sonia whispered in my ear.

Damn. he's good. This is so fucking stupid. I feel I'm done. All this build of it comes down to like the like, I'm the real mocked. You've known me for weeks. But I already had knew what my next move was. So give me one of those debts.

As she ended me one of the debts that was laying on the ground next to her, I started walking towards the marks until I was right in front of them. A wicked grin spread across my face as I said. Alright, here's a question that the only real mark would know the answer to. How did I get the tall man to run away? The mark on the left quickly responded. You cut off a tentacle, but couldn't get any of anything in that? I know looked Mark on the right to see how planned to respond to the situation.

That sentence is completely eligible. The writer was hit with a shovel while he was talking about. I know, I know, looked Mark right. I know. who are situation back top. The, they're like the, the grammar's been bad,

but as the stories have gone on, it's gotten worse. All he did was squint his eyes at me and sigh, then the defeated tone said, you took off your clothes and ran out of him naked until he fled. Satisfied by his answer. I slung the net over the top of leftmost Mark's head and yelled the new magic words.

Not really sure why the magic. words that came out of mouth were different from the ones that came out when I got rid of the baby doll monster but like Sonia said I guess we just roll with it as the ruins that were carved into the rocks that outlined the net surroglo red and skinny was swallowed by the smoke I heard him mutter

yeah fucking way and a deep voice then as the smoke that swallowed him was blown away by a breeze he was gone pretty anti-climactic right go fuck yourself go fuck yourself

I was honestly kind of hoping for some badass battle where we fought to the death and I got to stab it with the magic wooden spear that was like a final gift from the lady in the tree or something well I'll say something really cool but in the end Skinny was defeated by an immature inside joke that's it I mean yeah the tall man is still out there somewhere

but Skinny's done the lady in the tree got her wish that's all I could really hope to accomplish Mark was pretty pissed off at me for putting his life on the line and risking sending him to another dimension on the basis of him remembering an inside joke. In response to his anger,

I just told him that I had faith in him and in the end, that's all that mattered. All he said in return was, fuck you, I need a beer. I don't think that's Mark Wahlberg's voice. You want to try that again? Fuck you, I need a beer. Thank you.

I didn't tell him how I had really figured out who was real when they both said. But then he'll kill me. In unison. See, the new mark that had just he's explaining the thing we just saw. The new Mark that had just walked up shouldn't have known the rules of the curse

since he hadn't been there to hear about them. All I could figure is that Skinny had probably been listening in disguised as a cult. I'm explaining this. It's been disguised as a cultist and decided to enter the conversation and stop us before we came with a plane to kill him. I really just wanted Mark to believe

that I was dumb enough to put his life on the line for something that Skinny could have easily heard had he been eavesdropping at the right time. serves him right for basically calling me a dumbass earlier. After Skinny was dealt with, Mark and I shared an uncomfortable couple of goodbyes with the cultists, most of whom hadn't even noticed what had happened, including Hector, much less appreciated the fact that we just got rid of the single most vile creature that had ever inhabited this land. But I was okay with that. The fact that the lady in the trees killer was gone for good was enough for me. Some of you

are probably asking, wait, if that's all happened, then why are you both in the hospital? Well, that actually happened when the headquarters of the monster hunting organization that Mark worked for summoned both of us to be interrogated about the events that led to the destruction of Skinny, which with they knew to be an extremely high-level threat. After all the paperwork and questioning was over with, Mark offered to take me out for a drink. I accepted. Long story short, don't drink and drive kids. They even took up our electronics for the first week we were in here, claimed it was so they could scan them,

but I knew it was just punishment for damaging a company armored SUV. Anyways, that's pretty much it for now. I'll try to keep posting, but now that Skinny's gone, land seems a lot more relaxed. Hope you all enjoyed the tale of how I finally killed Skinny. This is Cole, signing off. Couldn't Skinny have been revealed by making him punch Cole

instead of taking the gamble with Mark triggering the curse? Reply. Do you think Skinny would have killed Mark knowing Cole is right there, hasn't triggered the curse and can kill or banish him while Skinny is attacking. Another reply. That's my point. If Skinny could not attack, then he would have not been able to punch Cole. However, Mark would be able to revealing Skinny.

Reply. Yeah, that's why Cole said it. He already knew who it was when they both stated, then he would kill me. Knowing the one that just entered the conversation would have no knowledge of the curse unless it was skinny. Another comment. I'm curious at this point. The organization could be Delta Green or MJ12. Legitimately, I'm wondering, and this is just me.

Comment. This is me just going at it. Hope to read more adventures. I like how your mind is different due to your past experiences. Is this worse than happy happy? No, no. Dude, you are memory holding happy happy. Like the level of detail that got to with him talking about the

different models of the cars right before the series was over saying, I'm going to call them this from now on. And the descriptor, there was like half of that story was him talking about how he feels weird because Happy Appy Appy seems sinister. This story was miserable, of course, but it was, it was by no means boring. It was boring in the sense it was badly written, but stuff kept happening. Happy Appy was like a penance. So no, it's not Happy Happy Happy. And it is also like half the length. I mean, I'm looking at, we've been recording for three and a half hours. That's insane.

Yeah. I feel like a concept of a cute, campy thing, like I said, Cab in the Woods kind of thing where it's a very short one parter idea of like a guy. Also, there's really, there is no explanation of why the guy is there,

what this deep traumatizing thing. They never even remotely say what that is. It's just, it just, God, good God. At least we got Carl Weezer. We got that. That was nice.

That was about it. I think that was the only happy moment in my entire. Oh, I had a lot of happy moment. Anytime you had to read a line, I was having a happy moment, especially the exposition. That was awesome.

Well, I legitimately, I don't know what to say. I know people are usually like an analysis or something at the end. I mean, I think it's pretty straightforward. I really don't know what to say.

I hope that, that, I mean, I don't know what kind of enjoyment. I don't know. I'm flabbergass. I don't really. What is there to say, Isaiah?

Well, how do we end this? Oh, don't, don't worry. Don't worry. I found this. Hold on. I'm going to send you real quick. Origin of making the monster. Origin of Mark the monster hunter.

Or origin. It's a prequel from Mark's perspective. So Cole told me that a lot of people that read his stories wanted to know how my, no, not. No, let's go ahead, let's read it. We're already here, let's read it. Okay. All right, why not? So Cole told me that a lot of people that read his stories

wanted to know how I came into contact with and began working for the organization that I'm currently with. After seeing how much fun Cole had writing these stories about his property, I gotta say I'm tempted to take a crack at writing. His suggestion to write about how I came into contact in the organization made me realize that I was actually a pretty good story. I'm backing out.

Unfortunately, due to personal reasons and specific rules given to me by the organization. I will not be given specific locations or names with these folks. I am backing out of this. No, I'm got, that's it. That's your video. That's your creepcast this week. Thank you guys so much for watching this week and listening. We appreciate you. Thank you to our patrons for supporting the channel.

And hey, if you're listening on audio platforms, we appreciate you so much. Give us a nice reading. We'll see you the next time. Stay creep by! Also note that all of our operations were completely off the book and if they would have come to light, they may have caused controversy. I've been fighting fights that no one even was about for a long time now maybe that's why i suddenly feel the need to share anyway