CreepCast - Ronald McDonald House | Creep Cast

Episode Date: March 1, 2026

In this grab bag episode, a Ouija board tells a group of friends to leave and a child discovers the horrors of the Ronald McDonald House. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary. Come back to the crest. Today, we are going to be reading two. beautiful stories. The first one being, which I thought this is a pretty sweet title, me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time. It keeps asking people to leave the room. Last time I was around a Ouija board, it was actually in Tampa with Isaiah when he refused to mess with it. You don't fuck with Ouija boards. I don't, I don't touch them. It's a bridge too close to me. I mean, I feel you. I have met, the amount of people that I have met

that do not fuck with Ouija board, it's a, it's a large people who people do not, people don't like those things. People do not like Ouija boards. I'm finding. I mean, it's like, I understand it's like a board game that's made by like Mattel or Hasper or whatever. Like I understand the thing itself is just a piece of board, right? Yeah. But it's more so I don't do any like ritual thing that is in an attempt to contact spirits. Like if someone was breaking up animal bones or doing little sigils and stuff, would it mess with that either. Right.

Like anything that looks like I'm trying to make a phone call, not interested. Well, that's fucking, you know what? It's your choice. I have done Ouija boards many times. never had anything happen. I, except when I was younger, my mom did it and she tortured me with it

for like, I'm not even joking a whole weekend. She did this, put on this whole elaborate ruse to scare me. And it was very rude. So, well, what did,

how did she torture you with it? She kept fucking with the light. She'd go to the breaker box. It kept like turned the breakers on and off. All kinds of stuff. Slamming doors and like, it's truly like a child raising a child is what it felt like. I was bullied, needless to say.

Right. I think that's good of her to do that. I think she should have done more. Well, we don't have to get into her anything. But I just know that, you know what, treat your children with respect.

Don't intentionally scare them. You know, that's just me. And I will say, Isaiah gave me the gift that keeps on giving, which Isaiah sent me a video of himself crashing his motorcycle. Go ahead and roll that now. No, no.

No, we don't. The funniest part of this, too, is we were talking about it. And he says, you know, I was only going that slows because the battery was dead. As if he's Travis Pastrana driving around his house. No, no, okay, okay. A bunch of red bull drones flying around your property watching it hit your dirt bike, I assume. This had to come up because I have to explain why I'm wearing these. Yes.

Okay. The motorcycle battery was dead. Which also, for people who don't know, who are listening on audio, what is on your hands right now? Bandages, a bunch of gauze. and tape and stuff like that. Because what happened is I was trying to drive the motorcycle, but the battery

was dead. So you have to do what's called a rolling start where kick it into first gear with the key turned over. And then as you're, once you pick up speed, you flip it into second while the motor's still off. And then you gas it. So you're trying

to force the motor to turn over without the starter. So what that is you go from idling like messing with your gears and all that to second gear all at once. And I'm sure. And I've said this before. For people once again that are in audio that can't see the video that is just definitely on repeat right now. That I'm going to have them just repeat entirely. It looks like a very slow.

It could not look like more of like an 86 year old man on like a French moped going around a corner and just having a heart attack and toppling to the ground. is what it looks like. And then what happens is Isaiah sent me it's like a six minute long video. The rest of that, that's 10 seconds. The rest of these six minutes is spent with Isaiah

just pacing around to the point where you're like, where the, like it's what's like that important that he showed me him being like, yes, this is me really just kind of like,

just kind of feeling it out. No, I clipped the minute. I clipped the minute of the wreck. It was only a minute? Oh my God. It felt. like eternity.

I click the minute and I sent it to you. Sorry, I didn't edit it for you. You should have. Because as soon as I wrecked, I stood up and I was bleeding for my hands and leg. So I paced for a while like you're okay. You can feel your bones. You're okay. You're okay.

You're trying to walk it off. Yeah, like it's I don't have any numbness. I don't. I can flex my leg all the way. I was doing that whole thing. Did I send you the video of the injury? No, I haven't seen any of the actual injury. so far. I am curious to see her a little

Arby's roast beef mits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. I got a couple picks of that. We can't put it in the episode. Yeah, but definitely too. Well, the fact that you need bandages, I'm very curious to see what it looks like here.

Also, by the way, we're reading Ronald McDonald's House afterwards. That's the second story. Ooh, howie. Howie. Yeah, I cut myself on my hands and then that left hand skipped and while I was bleeding I was looking down on it and I could see little striations under the skin. I'm like, oh, those are muscles. That's awesome. That's great. That feels great.

This is actually, uh, it's so funny. This is funny. Given the context of the video, it's, it's very funny that this is actually a very, looks like fucking for people that don't, and it looks like Freddy Krueger's face is what is, uh, is what his injuries look like. We'll put it up on the Patreon, which also, thank you to the patrons. Put it up on the Patreon. Put up on the page, if you want to see some blood and gore from Isaiah, feel free.

But the, thank you to our patrons for supporting us and getting some extra content on the side. And then also thank you to audio listeners who are listening to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, anywhere you can listen to a podcast

and giving us a nice rating. We appreciate you. Isaiah, you just want to jump right in. Yeah, did you even say what the second story we're reading is? Yeah, I said Ron McDonald's.

I said it. Oh, okay. All right, right. I didn't hear you say that. Okay, I also want to say to match the, uh, the cast.

I'm wearing a five nights at Freddy's t-shirt that I found at a gas station in rural Appalachia. Wow. It's really, I got the whole fit going on, you know. Really is quite the, well, drip check, definitely. Our first story, me and my friends are used in a Ouija board for the first time. It keeps asking people to leave the room. It was written by World Away Tweety. World Away Tweety actually writes a ton of stories for no sleep.

They write, it says in their bio that they write spooky stories and screenplays. So they've got a ton of stuff. Some of it written for nose leaves. Some of it written for the screen. They've been writing for years, it looks like, and there's dozens of stories on their page. So we'll have that linked in the description. Be sure to check them out if you enjoy it. And our other author today will talk about, but it seems that the story we'll be reading for them is the only story they've posted.

And they haven't posted in 13 years. That's a great sign. We'll go ahead and get into it with the Ouija board story. Hunter, are you ready? Oh, I'm ready. Let's begin. Also, if anybody has a Ouija board while we read this, I would say put it out. I'd say don't do that, but you know what?

You're an adult, hypothetically. You do what you got to do, but I say, bust out that Ouija board. Yeah. Get that Ouija board going. Okay. Me and my friends are using a Ouija board for the first time. Keeps asking people to leave the room. I'm using this post to chronicle the events of this evening, as they've been truly fascinating.

Some quick backstory. The small section of the city that me and my friends live is generally known to be haunted. And even if you're not a believer in the supernatural, It's at least a bit eerie. I'm not going to docks myself by stating the location, but let's just say that creepy sightings, murders, deaths due to unexplainable circumstances, are our bread and butter. For most people, this means you move away as soon as they can. For folks like me and my friends, who absolutely love all things, spine-chilling, it generally

makes for a pretty good time. Our Halloween parties are awesome. Most of our drinking nights have some sort of spooky game and are laced into them. And if you have literally nothing to do on a Friday night with your friends, you can always go on a tour of some of our haunted locales, graveyards, abandoned buildings, creepy forest, you name it. So with that background established,

let's cut back to tonight. Did you, when you were in college and stuff like that, did you ever do all, because I would go to like abandoned buildings and like, there were a bunch of after parties on like spooky in the woods and stuff like that. Did you do anything like that?

No, it was more like when I was in middle school. Middle school things. We didn't really have much to do. so then you just wait for your like if you're at your buddy's house for their parents to go to sleep and you get like walk out into like the country or whatever you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah do that kind of thing oh we're gonna go out to the river uh it's gonna be spooky yeah yeah I told you Kail and I met ghost hunting right yeah I didn't it's a magical lovely tale very romantic I don't like sarcasm with that very romantic and I'd love to hear it again there was so much sarcasm based no man I would love to actually have to sit through that one more time it'd be great you're such a no I don't know have you ever told it on the podcast though

I don't know I don't care anymore it's actually like it's a pretty phenomenal story you should say it I can't take you your stupid little I'm being honest I'm not being facetious at all I'm saying that it's legitimately like

really really good you should you should say it I'm just gonna keep reading I can't step kale and I met ghost tiny that's a whole store it's all you need to know it's all hunters can't get out of me right now i can't do this right now you guys are missing out it's a real tearjerker i'm gonna i'm gonna say the text that you sent me earlier you don't need to say that that's a joke between friends is what that is uh yeah yeah okay me and my closest three pals decided to try our hand at use in a wiji board were we going to be

normal and try the wichie board in one of our family addicts not too basic we instead decided to trek up together to what I shit you not is an abandoned tree house left in an elevated section of our city surrounded by forest. What could go wrong, right? Don't like that. I would do it. Just stick to my living room.

I would be too much for pussy to go up and be like, you know what? Let's go to that abandoned tree house in the middle of the forest. No, sir. No, no, no. It's in an elevated section of the city. I guess it kind of means like, you know, how like in L.A. there's like, you know, the like wooded hills in the middle.

like the outlook i guess that's what me yeah whatever yeah i guess that's what it means we climbed up to the treehouse set down a spooky themed rug lit some candles and brought out the Ouija board despite my pretty extensive resume of dealing with all things creepy i never actually tried a Ouija board before so i was really excited to see what would happen we went into this excited to break every role in the book we weren't going to do a seance we were going to ask whatever we want and we didn't need to worry about being respectful of the spirits etc we figured if something interesting were to happen it'd be more likely if we went in as carefree as possible. We set in a circle around the Ouija board and got started, asking the simple question.

Is there a spirit with us? With all of our hands placed on the planchette. No real response. We fluttered the planchette in a few different directions, but we could tell we were kind of forcing it. We asked a few other questions. What's your name? When did you die? But nothing really came of it. After trying for the next half hour and not really getting anything in the form of a response,

we decided that we probably didn't have any spooky luck tonight, and opted instead to share scary stories in the tree house. We left the Ouija board out just in case we get luckier later in the night. Amidst the break in our storytelling where everyone was grabbing drinks and snacks from their bags, I decided to give the Ouija board another quick go. Place my hand on the planchette alone and whispered the following question. Will you please grace us with your presence tonight? That's what does it when you skip into like the old English dialogue, vernacular.

that's when it happens. That's what you have to do. Will you please grace us with your presence tonight? Yeah. Yeah, you just have to sound like an oil man from the 20s. You know what I do? I try to put something in the backpack and just like leave it open.

So then the ghost would have to kind of like peer. What's in there and have something a little tempting? Toward then it would be like, oh, okay. I'm going to, I want to start messing with them. I want to start interacting with these guys are pretty cool. What do you mean about tempting? I don't know, man.

What would you tempt a ghost with? that depends on the ghost i guess that's the way you said it just depends on the ghost i guess no i did some cats or some twinkies i don't know you are laying into me this episode i think you know what i did i would do a couple different things what did i do that made you so upset

no don't don't deflect what did i do that made you so upset you know what i do i take a picture of my take a naughty picture of myself a little polaroid and i'd put it in the bag and i'd leave it open see i knew when you said something to tempt the ghost, I knew it would be in that direction. Why did you fucking go Mr. Rogers with it? If I was a, well, I don't know. It depends who the ghost is. Okay.

What did I do? What did I do? I'm not mad. I'm just saying, the way you said it was so flavorful. It really is. It's like a goddamn ring pot. Between this and me bringing up like, that's how you kill it out of at ghost time. You're like, wow, really?

Like, what has got your goat right now? Nothing. Nothing. All right. I guess if, yeah, I guess I would tempt a ghost with the chocolate bar. How's that? that's wholesome, right? The ghost is like,

who chocolate? I like that. How's that? I mean, you're setting yourself up for all these. I'm, I, I, I, yep,

chocolate's good. My hand. Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. No, what were you going to say? Just go ahead.

Just the idea of, I tipped it goes with the chocolate bar. See, there it is again. There it is. You can use that voice to use that voice and to be. You're the one who's doing it. You're intentionally doing it.

You're fucking with me. You're definitely. I don't know, your honor. I, I attacked him because he was asking for it. He was, what the fuck do you think a ghost wants with some chocolate? If he's sitting there and I don't know, what does the ghost want with your naked polaroid?

Because imagine me on a jet ski, dude, speedo on and I'm spread open. I'm talking like, you can't even believe that a human could be. I'm like a goddamn wishbone. You spread me over. I mean, I'm flexible,

bending me before I snap. I'm saying that that, you're talking a ghost, if a ghost is on earth, first off, is the ghost logic that we're using

is that the ghost is in like a purgatory. Do ghost, are they, do they, because they realize they don't know that they're dead,

right? That's the kind of, that's the idea. No one's established that. But sure. No, if you want that to be the rules, in general,

if there's a ghost, well, I'm just saying a general. I think if a ghost is interacting with a, a Ouji board, they know they're a ghost or spirit or whatever.

Okay. Well, I didn't know that. Because sometimes all that people say is that ghosts don't realize that they're dead. Hold on. You think a normal guy who doesn't know he's dead is going to come across a Polaroid of you and be like, hello, Hunter. I think a lot of people would. Yeah, dude. I'm not saying that, listen, I would say that as a whole package, it's not impressive,

but there's a couple of ham hawks. I think could turn some heads. More than would be, more than would be interested in chocolate. Honestly, self, and I hate to be, I'm not trying to peacock, but yes. I think that, I think I could, I think I could bust out. I think I could like, I would bust a nut over myself over than like a Hershey or Garradelli. I guess what I'm saying. Like I would turn heads. All right. I can't I have nothing to add to that. They call me that my nickname was a Chinese finger trap

for like two or three years. All right. All right. All right. We don't need to get into that nickname story. I like to bear when your mom was turning the lights off. That was better. Chinese finger trap. You're just you're just constantly on. You're just, it's like a little chatter teeth. It's just going around like,

it's true. People like there's always people get stuck in it. bit or something. No, people get stuck in it. I'm like, you got a squeeze and push if you want

to get out of this. What was the dragon's name of Mulan? That's what they called me. I do an Eddie Murphy impression, but I can't anymore. Wasn't it?

Wasn't it? Wasn't it moose? I forgot. They called it Mooshu. God. That's what I was? Yeah,

it was Mooshue. God. Damn. I forgot. Disney was holding back. They're like, yeah, it's about a Chinese girl. Yeah, the dragon's called Mushu. We're going to call her sweet and sour, but we decided against it.

God damn. Holy hell. We should call the little dragon general chow. The cheddar teeth, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, bar, sorry. Oh, gosh. We should restart this paragraph because I'm lost. Okay, well, I ended the paragraph.

You said, will you please grace? You said, will you please graces with your presence tonight? so that's a new paragraph. Oh, okay, all right. So, okay, we're good. Surprisingly, the planchette started moving. It's hard to explain, but you kind of know when something is moving on its own

versus you sort of subtly and subconsciously moving it with your hand to force an answer. This felt real. Tingle went up my spine. It was cool as hell. My hand was moved to the following letters. Y-E-S. Awesome.

I looked over to the group and told them that the Ou-Gie board was working again. Excitedly, we all huddled. around and placed our hands on the planchette. I followed up with another question. Where are you from? We said they're excitedly waiting for something. Instead, nothing. Planchette was still. The lack of any sort of external force with us was very, very obvious. Disappointing, but I had an idea I wanted to follow up with. I turned to my friend Kevin and asked him, You want to try doing it solo? It worked for me. Kevin was confused, but he decided to give it a try. We all backed up to give him some space with the Ouija board. He placed his.

his hand on the planchette and repeated my question. Where are you from? His expression changed to shock as his hands started moving with the planchette. He turned to all of us and mouthed, I'm not doing this. To which I excitedly mouth back. I know. I pulled out a notepad and recorded the answer as the planchette went from letter to letter.

It recorded the following. Not important. Love it. A spirit with some sass. I'll also say this. A lot of the times we get annoyed by like casual language and stuff like that in the story because it comes out of nowhere or is it or it isn't fitting.

This is like a group of friends in high school or whatever going out with a Ouija board. So like the vernacular feels fitting. Yeah, they're also idiots. Yeah. It's just being dumb and like, oh, play with the Ouija board.

So like it's not out of blood field. The idea that this thing is actually moving. Okay. This thing's actually moving. And it's just like, okay, a ghost with some sass. God, this is a guy that is like, he's going to be flying around the room later

with like a noose around his neck or something. it's like the perfect juxtaposition. Oh my God, this guy has some sass and the later his death corpse is going to be flying right for him. Exactly. He shouldn't have offered him chocolate.

Drop the chocolate bar it'll break the spirit's power. Then while the spirit's showing them like every death and every murder just blood pouring from its eyes screaming. Get the chocolate bar. Get the goddamn chocolate bar. The scariest ghost just

there's like hellfire and like animal sacrifices. And they're treated it like the Goonies. Goody's never die. Yeah. One eye, Willie! It's like you have no grasp of how serious the situation. Yes.

It's like, get a little. a hold of yourself. You have no idea what you're up against. Lord. You're speaking to the Lord of the flies. You got to get it together. Because even it, there's been times I was a kid where it's like, even if somebody's faking it, I have loose my mind every time. When I was a kid, I was like, oh my God. I was freaking out. So just having this happens several times, I would be like, okay, cool, we're done. And we're going home. I'm done. Also, he has sass. Is he like a fucking, is he a character like a Tyler Perry movie. And like,

this is a fucking ethereal being. Like, how about we, how about those boot scooting? Let's get the fuck out of here. Good Lord. We, uh,

we in college went home. We were playing with, uh, a Ouija board around campus. And there was, uh, one building that burnt down years ago. And there was a legend on campus that you'd see a woman in dress like a,

like a, like civil war era dress. Oh, cool. Walking around in the, in the building that was built in the remnants of the old one. Um, and,

I remember we went up there, the hill. And we were like, who are you? And two people were playing. And it spelled out like, uh, it's like girl. And we're like, oh, the girl in the dress. And then one guy was playing by himself. He's like, what happened? And then it spelled out fire.

And I just left. But I don't blame you though. I do not blame that response. That one guy messing with me, but I just left. Yeah. I said, I would be, I'm a giant post. I'd be like, no, thank you. Mm-hmm.

Even if it just, even if it says something like nice, love. Actually, that's even more threatening. Love, I'd be like, okay, come on. Bye. You get the fuck out of here. Well, I thought that was your whole strategy with the Polaroid. No, I'm, you know, I like to tempt. I don't like to act.

Oh, okay. You like to be a little tease. I like to be a little tease to the paranormal. I see. Little window shopping for him. That's about it. I see. I got you.

Other side of the glass. Yeah, exactly. Every kiss. Every kiss begins with K is what I say. Looking in. Love it. A spirit with some sad. I asked Kev to back up for a sec as I approached the Ouija board.

Prep for one final solo question. I asked, Why are you only responding when it's one of us using the board? Yet again, the planchette moved effortlessly within my hand. It was faster this time. So I said the letters out loud and had another one of my friends, Eleonora, transcribe onto my notepad. The answer was, one at a time.

Fair enough. I think the spirit, my hand's still on the planchette. I appreciate your answers, friend. Am I surprised in a strange synergy between me and the spirit? I felt compelled to move the planchette again. It was the fastest it had ever been this time as it covered the following letters. Tell everyone else to leave. Huh.

That's a little weird. That's a little quirky. First of all, I should say, tell everyone else to leave. I mean, I would be shitting bricks right now. Huh. He's going to be. That's kind of a bit awkward. He's going to be like the guy at the end of hereditary where he's in the tree house.

Just like getting possessed and there's headless bodies everywhere. He looks around. Everyone's headless and naked like bowing. That trumpet music. Yeah. Yeah. That's a little peculiar. Don't you think Eleanor?

And she's just like she's skinned alive. She's crucified. on the wall. That's a little weird, don't you think? What you're doing up there? He doesn't play a joke on me. His buddy. He looks to his buddy who's like,

his mouse and a scream and his head spinning. And he was like, that's a cool trick. He goes to teach you that. I love the idea, too. If this happened to you, you run outside and get on your motorcycle to immediately crash. Just like, just like all of it

is from one camera angle. of me slowly going down the ladder, getting on the bike, can't start it, tries to roll it, crashes. Well, she was actually so slow because I had to do a rolling star. Yeah, I had to do a rolling start.

Well, you see, I didn't really start because the battery does it. Yeah, I just explain the whole process. Yeah. Oh, probably should have changed that battery. I like the idea of someone being confronted with like actual,

like, scary demons, spirits, whatever. But it's like a Scooby-Doo movie. Like, oh, yeah. Jeepers. It sure is a... I don't want to say so far. I did like that little turn. That was kind of...

That's kind of fucked me up a little bit. Tell everyone else to leave. Fuck that, dude. I love those. Huh. That's so good. Yeah, I just couldn't hold in the laugh of just the literal line. Huh.

Yeah. Huh. That's a bit peculiar. I got, I got a lot. It's almost, it's kind of campy. Like being confronted with a real horror with such casualness to it.

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That's Z-O-C-D-C-O-C-C-com slash creepcast. Zoc-Doc-com slash creepcast. Thank you, Zock, doc, for sponsoring the episode. to our spooky story. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor, HelloFresh. Not part of the ad. I am not being paid to say this.

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to get in on this incredible offer today. Thank you to HelloFresh for sponsoring the show. Their link will be in the description and we are now back to the episode my friend looked at me skeptically as I said the letters at a time are you sure you didn't force that on purpose asked eleanor I assured her I definitely didn't that was definitely from the spirit which that's one of the I think I missed it earlier but that's one of the big deals with like Ouija boards you can't play it by yourself because the whole point's like connected energies or whatever around the planchette so if you're playing it by yourself it's a one way between you and the spirit so the spirit wins every time oh I see at this point this had been the most clearly supernatural phenomena I'd ever experienced in my life, and I was excited to keep it

going. My friends, usually unflinching a mate of ice, were a little bit thrown. Eleanor and Martin looked ever so slightly spooked, but Kev was willing to go with it. Might as well see where this goes. Kev said as he started climbing down from the tree house. With a slight bit of hesitation, Eleanor and Martin followed suit. Sweet, an actually creepy night. I embraced the quiet amidst the lighting of the candles and the power of the Ouija board. I geared up for my next question. I wasn't going to hold back. Spirit? How will

I die? Brothers just die. I know, dude. Good. No, fuck. No hesitation. No surrender. Literal fucking goody's fucking sloth shows up

and rips on a half. Because it's not like, it's not like he's like, oh, I don't believe this. Like he thinks he's talking to us something beyond the veil. Nothing we can't understand. But the only more fucked up is that he does not care what is behind the veil. No. He doesn't get a fuck if you're God or the devil.

How the fuck am I going to die? You're like, come on, man. Just immediately diving into like a thing that you should never add once you say. Ever. What kind of, oh, sick. Okay, great. How will I die? I'm glad I know that now.

Thanks, man. Yeah. You know, I mean, what do you do? The Ouichie board's like car and you're like, grime. What? Time to be scared forever. No shit. I took in a deep breath, waiting for some movement.

Slowly. Depends. Interesting answer. This is literally Fred from Scooby-Doo. Like, come on, game. If not a bit underwhelming, I geared up for my follow-up. Oh, come on, Spirit. What about something a bit more specific?

He's, I've never wanted people to die so badly. Honestly, he's about to get ripped out of that tree house. It's going to be so satisfying. It's going to look like, have you ever seen a sky hook the way they used to pick up people in the military where they put a balloon in the air in a plane hits the balloon and just rips them off the crowd? It's going to look like that straight down the wall of the tree house. It's going to look like that little kid in fucking Orampase pit being dragged around that goddamn river. is what it's going to look like. Yeah, what do you do if you're like,

oh, something more specific and it's like gorilla. And you're like, oh God. And then you turn around and there's a gorilla in the street. Yeah. In the jungle,

the mighty jungle. A weembo up. A weepo up. That's in the distance, getting louder. That means so frightening. You hear your friend outside be like, is that a gorilla?

Just the thundering pounds of gorilla's fucking fist into the earth. Sounds like a horse galloping towards you. Uh-oh, you asked the gorilla question. Uh-oh, you said the magic word. My hand moved with the planchette to the following letters. I try hard to focus and connect the letters since I didn't have anyone to transcribe with me.

What is your name? My name is Ander Dengist. Weird. Completely dodged my question and asked me. Completely dodged my question. Completely dodged my question and asked me my name. Okay, all-knowing spirit. I assumed you'd already know that.

I decided to try tricking it. My name's Bell. Movement from the planchette on the Ouija board. Took me to the letters. Do not lie. My God. Well played spirit. God,

this person, please. It takes them back to the previous question. It says, two gorillas. Every time he's too quirky, it just adds a gorilla. I gave the spirit of my actual name,

Jennifer, and continued to see the follow-up response. What is your favorite food? Honoring the spirit's rules, I opted to tell the truth instead of following up with another lie. Your girl loved the writing. I like it. It's charming. It's charming with what's going on.

But, man, your girl loves Don Air, and the spirit deserves to know that. What is Dawn Air? I don't know, Don Air. We see it. Sounds like an airline. Don Air is a popular Canadian food. Oh, God. Originating in Halifax, Nova Scotia.

It's a variation of donor kebab featuring spice ground beef, uh, sliced from a rotating cone served in a pin, uh, pita bread with tomato, does onions and unique sweet. It's like a, it's like a... It's a taco. Yeah. It's a gentrified taco. Got it.

Okay. The Ouija board's response? Correct. Before I could take in the affirmation from the spirit, who's asking who questions here? Spirit followed up with yet another question. What is your biggest fear? Do not lie. God, dude.

How do you not take this of like, okay, I'm definitely going to die this way? What's your favorite? What's your favorite? food. I don't know, just like a kebab. All right. What's the worst possible way you'd want to die? I don't know. Maybe three gorillas? Yeah, I don't know. Getting attacked by a colony of gorillas. Oh, we mow up, oh, we can boi-mo up. The tree just starts shaking. It's like, oh, what's that? This question took me back a bit. I wasn't really afraid of anything or so I thought. So I struggled with it. It took me a few moments.

I really, really thought of it. I kind of cringed at the answer, but it was my truth. Something horrible happening to my little brother. I'm sure a little brother is going to be fine. Home girl just sent her brother to the shadow. A kid I never come back. Exodia! A bulletin raise!

That thing off Evandallion's going to show up the giant triangle with the laser beam. Yeah. Or that or two guerrillas. No movement from the Ouji board. Seconds turn into minutes as I kept my hand. Yeah. It was taking these minutes to kill your little brother. Seconds turned into minutes as I kept my hand awkwardly placed on the planchette.

Then finally, thank you. send Eleanor. Well, I obliged. I thank the spirit for its time and decided to climb down from the tree house where my friends were waiting. Passed on the spirit's message and told Eleanor that it was her turn. I do like this idea

of having to kind of like take turns going up. This is like this ritual of having to climb back up the tree house is like pretty fucking unnerving. And then just being up there obviously with like some kind of other entity is creepy. Yeah. Yeah. I said hereditary earlier as a joke, but in the early

scenes of hereditary, how the sister would sleep in that tree house. Yeah. Yeah, up the ladder. And there was like a, there was an uncanniness to how different it was in the space around. It's what makes me think of. It's also funny imagine Eleanor gets there. It's like, what's your biggest fear? And Eleanor is like,

probably something happened to Jennifer's little brother. They're just stacking the curses on this kid. Martin Kevin and I spent what must have been 15 minutes standing outside the tree house while Eleanor was up there. We pulled drinks out of our bags and were discussing my experience with the Ouija board so far. Both were incredibly surprised when I told them that the spirit was asking me questions.

What kinds of questions? Generic stuff like my name, favorite food, you know, weird. Both Kevin Martin seemed a bit thrown off by it, but I was excited. We looked up at the tree houses. We heard the sounds of someone climbing down. Eleanor had finished her session. She looked traumatized. How was it?

Weird. All it did was ask me questions. Questions like... My name. My favorite hobby. My biggest fear. That one took a while for me to answer. Kev turned to me.

That's a little bit eerie. I agreed. It didn't look like Eleanor was loving it either. But still, spirit asking us questions? This has been one of the coolest, if not the coolest, paranormal experiences I'd ever experienced in my life. Eleanor turned to Martin. I said that you were up next.

It's funny, the casualness that they're approaching. We'll see. Also, it's, uh, I like, that it kind of is a bit goof at the beginning, but there is a, there is a turn happening. Like that's, yeah, yeah, there's a realization, albeit slow, very slow, but it's a fun revelation, nonetheless. Yeah, it's like, it starts with like, well, ha ha, ha, funny do you mean, but now it's like, they're all like, oh, this is kind of a little weird. Yeah. I'm a little scary. It's also funny that they're not more freaked out by it, where it not only knows all their names, but it's asking them the same

questions and they're not really attributing a weight to that yet like they probably should be. I'm sure that will bode well for them in the future. It'll be fine. Yeah. Yeah, they'll be okay. Martin Sessions seemed longer than the others. We stood outside, drinking, talking about the happening so far, and pulling out the occasional snack. That was a little bit traumatizing, said Eleanor.

Kevin pointed to her and then up to the tree house. Agreed. This is kind of messed up. Yeah, but that's the point. We seek out spooky happenings all the time and we never get lucky. This is an actual, legit supernatural experience. I feel like we have to take advantage of it. Even if it's asking us personal stuff, what does it want that for?

Followed up Eleonora. I shrugged. While the biggest fear question was pretty weird, I didn't feel too worried that a spirit knew what my favorite food was or what my name was. Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of someone climbing down from the tree house. Martin had finished up his session. It felt like it had been 30 minutes, which topped the rest of our sessions. We've bombarded Martin with questions as he reached the ground.

It looked more shell-shocked than Eleonora did. That was pretty fucked up. What did it ask you? My big sphere. It's weird, but it felt like it didn't like my answer to that one. It almost seemed annoyed. Huh. So was it just silent for a while after that?

No, it asked me way more things after. What's the happiest moment of my life was? who I was most jealous of, who my biggest life dream was, all that stuff. There's a lot of questions. Then finally, I just wrapped up with, thank you. And that was it. He said his biggest fear was like spiders or something.

So it did a psyche bell on him to find out who it would hurt the most for him to lose. God. It's going to send them to the stratosphere. It's also funny to be like, yeah, I made that ghost pretty mad. Anyway, Kevin, your turn. Hey, I'm sorry, you're up, buddy. Yeah, when I left, everything in the room started floating and the drumming was getting louder, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Martin turned to Kevin.

You're up next. Kevin turned to all of us. Here goes nothing. It does feel like there's a giant asteroid adding towards Earth. I know. I know. It's like, I keep thinking about that idea of like Kevin getting shot out of a cannonball out of the side of the tree house.

It's like, it's like they're playing hot potato with it. Or not hot, pop goes the weasel. Like they're each like, can't like like, huh? Would this be funny? Would this be funny? And then the last guy up is going to get obliterated. He sighed and started climbing up to the tree house. We watched him make his way to the top for the first time in the evening.

I had to nod to my stomach. Yeah, you're right about there's a shift all of a sudden, where it's like getting more serious. Only five minutes had passed since Kevin first went up, but he was already climbing down. He was shaking his head as he made his way down the ladder into our group. Fuck that. What happened? We asked him. You just shook his head.

That shit's dangerous. We need to get the fuck out of here, ASAP. I never seen Kevin like this. He was uncharacteristically shook. You have to tell us more. What did it ask you? I mean, what did it say? Kevin ignored all our questions.

Start packing up his bag. You guys can play with fire if you want, but I'm out of here. I suggest you guys come too. I watched this Martin and Eleanor started packing up as well. I had bad feelings about this whole thing. I think we should leave. Guys, what the hell? Just because it's unselling doesn't mean we have to pack up.

We can just hang out up there and do something else. This doesn't feel right, said Eleanor. I watched him as they took a few steps away from the tree house and towards the forest. You coming? Asked Kevin. I stood my ground. Kevin just shook his head and started heading out on his way. Suit yourself.

I had no idea what could have possibly happened up there that would have shooken him this much. He had already started walking as Martin and Eleanor pleaded with me to come with him. I said no. Grudgingly, they all left. You're probably wondering, wasn't I scared? Especially now that I was alone? The answer was yes. But something in my soul told me that I was up next.

I spent my whole life waiting for something that was truly supernatural to happen. and now it was in front of me. My fingers jittering. Climbed up to the tree house as my friends departed. Something told me out. Something in my soul told me I was up next. Yeah, the demon. Yeah, no shit.

It's in your soul now. It's kind of fun of like almost like it's planting a little seed in her mind. Yeah. Yeah. Something tells me I should go back up there. There's like a 40 foot tall goat behind her. Yeah. You should go back up there.

Yeah. Okay. If you say so, demon! It took me a moment to pull together the bravery to put my hand on the planchette. The candles were still lit. The setting was just right. Finally, I spoke to the spirit again. Why are you asking us all these questions?

Nothing for a few minutes. Then my hand moved with the planchette, slower than usual. The answer? To confirm my suspicions. Confirm your suspicions of what? Movement from the planchette on the Ouija board. One of you. is not who you say you are.

I'm sick. What are you talking about? I heard blood-curdling shrieks coming from the forest outside the tree house, like nothing I'd ever heard before. What the f? The planchette was moving on its own now. I watched it go from letter to lever. That is not Kevin. He is coming back for you. Run. And so I did. The small section of the city I live in is generally known to be haunted. I think I know why. It's time for me to leave. Ah, what a fun end. That was great.

Wow. What a little pepper at the end. I love that. This is definitely one of those stories where you wish that he had more. But at the same time, what a fun little, you know, I do wish that there was just a little more to see. But this causes the nice fun question of, let me ask you this, Isaiah. Do you think the ghost is telling the truth? Can you trust this ghost?

So what I think happened at that ending is it mentioned at the beginning and then they're getting. at the end that the whole city has a history of ghost and spirits and stuff like that. And it's almost like this ghost is interrogating them to make sure they're all normal humans, right? That's why with Martin,

when he answered the question about fear wrong, it had a lot of follow-up questions. Like Eleanor and Jennifer gave questions that made sense. It's like, oh, well, my biggest fear is this, I like this. I like this. And the spirit's like, yep, all checks out. You're good. But then when Martin gave a weird question, it became like,

okay, what about this? What's your fear, desire? And then he checked out. But then we don't know what it said to Kevin, but we can assume that because of this, Kevin was possessed prior or had some spirit inside of him. So he's only up there for five minutes. The demon or the ghost figures it out and sends them on their way. So then Jennifer goes back and it's like you need to get out of here because that's not Kevin. Like Kevin's been possessed and now the mask has been revealed. It does a great job too. It does a great job in the story too by isolating. the people so you don't know who's saying what there's a level of deception that happens almost immediately to where now you've been trusting these people coming down and saying well what are the

things that they're saying right you've had this level of like acceptance of that now you're like wow has any has the things that people have been telling us even that true i don't know uh really really fun really fun way to set up that see this is the kind of thing too or it'd be fun to explore more of these characters. I like the kind of with that. I like to how goofy it kind of was. It was a little cheesy. But at the same time, I think it did that intentionally because my guard was lowered almost immediately. Like, I mean, I was just kind of, we were just having fun with it. It's so obviously something horrifying. But then just switch it at the end where, oh, shit, it's put maybe someone in the group. That makes it a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. Also, someone, I'm reading the replies right now.

Someone said, perhaps the ghost is the real Kevin who's died and now is in the afterlife. And this thing's just assuming his identity, which I feel like it would know right away then when he'd ask the rest of them questions. But I mean, there's so many fun theories like stuff. Yeah, I just let your mind run with it. I really like that. That's a fun little, that's a very fun bite-sized story. Yeah, it was a nice little piece of like mini horror that had like it was a fun payoff, like kind of goofy. We were joking with it. But at the end, there was bite. It was good. I liked it a lot. Yeah. Sometimes it's nice just having that sting, you know. It's just nice to have that little, just a little flash of lightning right at the end.

That's fun. Yeah. Yeah, like I said, World Away Tweety on Reddit, they have a ton of stories. Most of them seem like these little bite-sized horror. We'll certainly come back and check them out at some point. Yeah, I'd like to.

Can I see what their top voted of all time was? That one has 7K. The top voted of all time is a story called a message appeared on everyone's screen in the world. Hide. Oh, that's cool. It's like the same length. It's neat. Didn't we read that one?

No. We didn't. Isn't that the one where all the people, they're in the apartment and like they hide in the, they have to go play. They like everyone's hiding in their own spot. Remember in the apartment? All the friends are over there hanging out. I'm pretty sure we read that, man.

What are you talking about? This is, it's that story where it's like all the buddies are hanging out at this apartment. And then the thing flashed on the screen. It says hide. And they're like, what? And they hear the other people in the apartment. And they have to like, somebody hides under the bed, somebody hides in the closet.

Do you remember, do you don't remember this? I have no memory of this story. Maybe I read that for Patreon. Without me. Maybe that was one of the Patreon stories. I just remember it was really good. It's really fun.

But yeah, I mean, me trying to recollect us a story. Good God. But I feel like I'm almost positive. We read that on Patreon. Editor, put it up here.

Did we do that? There you go. The next story we're reading is called Ronald McDonald's house. And what I want to say here, this is on the creepy pasta wiki. I love that first off, I just want to say the, It says in the categories.

It says mental illness, places, and weird. So you got to love that. Which also, if you don't know, Ronald McDonald's house is also a charity. So hopefully they, hopefully they address that. Don't sue us. And they don't know because, yeah, this is actually a charity that they do. So I'm curious. First line, literally saying, okay.

It's like last week, right, when we did the three stories. We didn't say what the connection was, but there was like a hidden connection where It's like, oh, these are all about rituals or like spells and stuff like that. So there's like a hidden connectivity. You don't have to say it, but is there, you pick these stories. Is there a connectivity between the last story and this one? The, that I don't know. We have like a little spreadsheet of stuff that's organized.

It was under, and I might be wrong here, but I believe this was under the categories of trapped or something like that. I don't know. I'd have to see again. But these are just some of the ones that were recommended. And I just thought that they sound like, I really like the title. the title of the Ouija board one. And then I thought the Ron McDonald's one was just kind of funny. So no, it's just stuff for grab bags.

Okay. All right. Because I was, because I was saying you're like, what does the Ronald McDonald house have to do with the Ouija board team? Okay, but that makes more sense. All right.

So this story, Ronald McDonald House was written by a user named D. Kingsbury, um, who looking at least their creepy pasta wiki account, they posted this in 2013. So 13 years ago and never did. anything else. Love that.

They have 12 edits, which I think they're all edits to the one story. I'm pretty sure. Which, I think I did this earlier, but I don't think they have any other. Yeah, they don't seem to have any other social media presence, at least none that I can see right away.

So, yeah, this is their one and done. We'll leave a link to their creepypasta wiki in the description to the original story. And then if they ever do post in the future, check it out or know about it there. But I think this is the only thing they've ever posted. So that could be really good or really bad. There's been a couple of times we found like one-off stories that have been awesome.

Yeah. You know, you know, don't be wrong. Just calling something wrong McDonald's house. If this turns out to be a banger, I'm going to be so excited. It happens very rarely. You know, the, I still love the My Little Pony story that we did. Loved it. So who knows?

I, but God forbid, we'll see. The, oh, cupcakes? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you love that for. It was brutal. It was brutal. You have to admit it was brutal. It was probably, we loved it for probably what was not the author's intended reason.

That's fine, though. I still loved it. I think it's fine. I mean, hey, I'm on this podcast. I obviously think it's fine. Yeah. But we'll see. We'll see how this goes. I want to take a moment to thank today's sponsor, Ridge Wallet. I've been using a Ridge Wallet for the past five years and I'm never looking back. That's because Ridge has the most durable and stylish wallets on the market. And I can speak to the durability myself because a couple of couple weeks ago, as I'm sure you know, I wrecked a dirt bike. And my pants were torn to pieces, but the wallet in my pocket is doing just fine. Normal wallets and bill folds tend to be huge. Get in the way of everything and make it hard to access your keys, knife, flashlight. And putting the wallet in your back pocket just makes it uncomfortable to set down, even if you're

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All right. Ronald McDonald's House. I'm sure you've heard of the Ronald McDonald House charity. They provide housing for the families of sick kids when they're in the hospital. It seems pretty innocent, right? Well, there's another side of the charity. There's another type of Ronald McDonald's house, one that not many people know about. There's one of most big cities. You won't find it by looking for it.

It doesn't have an address. It doesn't have a sign above the door. Doesn't even have windows. No, the only way you'll see it is if you're taken there. That's how I found it. Oh, the way it was described initially, I thought it was like, uh, I thought it was supposed to be like a battered woman's shelter where it's like, like, it's like, like, a battered woman's shelter where it's like, no, the address is kept hidden for a reason.

So people can't find it. But no, it's like it's a kidnap thing. We're like, we're like Ronald. Ronald is definitely stealing people. Yeah. I remember when I was in a high school, I was a part of this group where we did a bunch of charity work for the county. And there was this one organization where their whole thing is they have like houses set up.

And if there's ever a call from like, a woman or a family who's like being beaten or abused or whatever, there's this group of people who will take them to one of these like safe houses effectively and keep them until the trial's done and stuff like that. It's a pretty cool service. But I remember we really wanted to get like play stuff for the kids. We were like, oh, we'll put a little like playground in the backyards. You know, the kids don't have to be miserable or bored while they're there.

And I remember it became this huge argument because everyone was like, no, if we put, if we put playground stuff in the backyard, you know, the abuse of partners are going to recognize that immediately. Jesus. They're going to see. And it's like, why aren't these in houses like on the other side of the county? And they're like, yeah, but they'll be looking. They'll be looking. It's like, well, they, they don't be the only house in the county that has like a slide in the backyard. Like, it'll be okay. It's like a six month argument. They intentionally don't want them to have fun. Yeah. I remember, like they kept being like, well, can't we give him some coloring books?

It's like, we can do that too. But it's like, they're not going to find them because of a swing. And at one point, someone was like, well, I would understand if, you know, the house didn't have a fence. And like maybe your fear is that, you know, the abusive person in question sees the kid from the road. And then the person who was arguing correcting was like, no, all these houses have like tall fences. We're like, oh, well, then what?

What are we doing here? What's the problem? Which we did eventually, I think, if I remember correctly, we did. eventually win the argument and get like playground supplies to them but i just that that reminded me of that whole argument like no if a house has a slide in it immediately abusive partner's going to recognize that he's going to smell that from a mile away so jesus christ anyway after that fun anecdote i've never met my real parents i've been in and out of foster families and group homes here in in Detroit since I was a kid. I'm 15 now, and I'm what you referred to as a bad kid.

Always causing trouble, always getting thrown out in place with another unsuspecting do-gooder who thinks they can help me, and I always prove them wrong. My caseworker set across the black metal table, looking weary and brazzled. On the table between us was a thick, letter-sized brown envelope, a case file. Well, your reputation has preceded you. And now you only have two You only have two options. A military school in Lansing? Or the Ronald McDonald House?

Which has miraculously cleared you for acceptance. I ended up the patience for drill sergeants and 5 a.m. reveal. And how bad could a halfway house named after a fast food clown possibly be? Ronald McDonald's house it was. Dark clouds loomed above me the day I climbed into the back of my caseworker's town car. A few belongings in a backpack and the clothes on my back, that was all I could take. of those few belongings was a photo album filled with pictures of all the foster families i'd been with it was nice to remember some of them even though i had royally screwed it up each time i've had a few

cases who went through ronald house caseworker said from the front seat things went so well for those kids i never had to transfer them anywhere else in fact the house took over the case files and everything can they do that no it's a no i don't think it works that way now he's a hurry that the kids had die and I never see him again. The kids are dead and not my problem. Most importantly. We drove into downtown Detroit past all the familiar landmarks. I'd been thrown out of one foster home just outside town because I snuck into downtown

Detroit with some neighbor kids to sneak into a dive bar. Good times. Yep. Here we are. Car came to a stop. We had parked in front of a tall gray windowless building. I sandwiched between two other industrial buildings on narrow city street. I don't think that's what the Ronald McDonald's this look like.

I don't think they look like brutalist architecture in the middle of downtown. I noticed there's an address on the building to my left and one on the right, but not on this particular building, not even a sign. Are you sure? I asked, hesitating as I opened the corridor and climbed out of the back seat. I slung my backpack over my shoulder, clinging tightly to the strap, and followed the caseworker up to the windowless metal doors. She pressed a buzzer, spoke to someone in the backseat.

inside and the doors clicked to unlock. We walked in. As soon as the metal doors closed behind us, I noticed the pin drop silence. It was that sort of silence that's so oppressive and empty and almost deafens you. Across the dimly lit lobby, there was a glass window with someone inside, a secretary. She was turned away, typing something intently. We walked over to the window. The caseworker rang a bell on the counter, and the secretary spun around in her chair. Her face was painted like a clown, like Ronald McDonald.

In fact, bro. Get me out of here. Hey, so, way to scare me straight. The military is really cool. You want me to. You want me to. That isn't this one. You know, I always,

I always wanted to support my country, actually. Always felt like that was important. So she even had the short, curly red hair. Otherwise, she wore a typical white nurse's dress. Oh my God. What you got there, Billy?

I wanted to laugh at how bizarre it was, but I couldn't. A chill swept down my spine. Something was not right. I watched as the nurse and my caseworker interacted. Paperwork was passed through the window. The caseworker slid my case file under the glasses. The nurse slid her some papers to sign. As my caseworker signed the papers, the nurse looked at me.

Her smile should have been warm and welcoming. and all I saw in her eyes was hunger. Excuse me? I can't stay here. Take me to the military school in Lansing, please. What's the matter, sweetie? The nurse asked. Her voice muffled slightly by the glass.

Afraid of clown? Yes. I'd be shaking that caseworker. Like, please just shoot me in the head. Please. Just kill me right here. I looked into her hungry eyes. I don't like how the eyes keep being described as hungry.

Now there was a malicious glint as she laughed. A caseworker laughed too obliviously and said, Now, no, don't overreact. You'd hate the military school. Besides, this would be good for you. Yeah, this will be good for you. Before I could object, I heard a slam behind me. I spun around to see an open door in the far corner of the lobby

to the left of the front desk window. There was no one there, just some light that flooded in. Then, creeping shadows. shrill echoing laughter and growing shadows along the wall inside the door. Oh! Here comes the welcome committee. As I stared in horror, clutching the strap of my backpack, my caseworker patted me on the shoulder for the last time. Don't worry, honey.

It'll be different this time. You'll feel right at home here, I promise. She turned to go. I felt bile churning in my stomach. No, you can't leave me here. Oh, no. I've got to get going. I never did like clowns.

Me neither, bitch. God, help! That's what I'm saying. I got me the fuck out of here. I thought it was going to be cheeseburgers. She's getting... She's getting into the car and he's pressed up against a glass like, please God help! And you see like a bunch of Ronalds pulling him off the window.

And with that, she left me there. The metal doors slammed behind her and I was alone. I faced the open doorway by the front desk again. The shadows had almost entered the room and the piercing laughter was filling the lobby with sound. I ran for the front doors. I pounded and yanked and pushed and screamed. Screamed for help.

Scream for my caseworker. Scream for... Anyone! Please God! I turned to see the nurse behind the glass smiling at me again. Then they entered. A whole group of laughing nurses with clown faces and red hair. Some were male, some female, but all had the same terrifying Ronald McDonald makeup.

And in the dim light of the lobby, I could see the glint of metal tools. in their hands. Bringing up the rear was a pair of clown nurses rolling a metal table, complete with restraints. Get the fuck away from me! I screamed. I pounded at the metal doors again. Let me out of here! They surrounded me, grabbed me as I thrashed and screamed and tried to tear myself away, laughed as I kicked and squirmed. They slammed me onto the rolling table and strapped me down. I looked around wildly. I was surrounded. Let me go! I screamed twisting and turning and pulling at the restraints.

They rolled me through the open doorway and down a seemingly endless white hallway. They laughed and laughed and laughed. They waved their shiny scalples and razors and needles, mere inches from my face, just to make me flinch and scream. It made them laugh even harder. The last thing I remember before one of them finally injected me was the hands. Gloved fingers prodded inside my mouth and pulled up my lips, distorting my screams and forcing an unnatural grin onto my tear-streaked, sweaty,

face. Hot, rancid breath was in my face, and a whispered, perverted voice spoke the words. We love to see you smile. Then as the maniacal laughter seemed to warp and wind down like a dying record player, everything faded to black. I feel, I feel like someone, this is somewhat venting a lot about like a deep fear of clowns, I guess. Well, I just want, I mean, it goes from, here's the thing.

like it's ridiculous. It goes from zero to a hundred, a zero to a million. So quickly. At the same time, though, at least it's going for it. I mean, it's boring. No, exactly. I'm just saying from the happy, happy shit, it's just like, at least it's like, I mean, we're fucking here. We're in Ronald McDonald's fucking murder factory or whatever. I mean, at least we're here and going, you know? Yeah, we're doing something with our time, I suppose. Uh, it, it is insane how quickly it goes from. Oh, well, I, you know, I was a bad kid. I got moved from house to house. Anyway, a posse of Ronald McDonald clowns strapped me to a table and injected me. Oh, absolutely. No, I mean, absolutely.

It is, it's a zero to a hundred for sure. Yeah, absolutely. I opened my eyes and was blinded by bright lights above. Shilled in my groggy gaze from the fluorescent bulbs. I turned on my side and looked around. A cell, tall white walls covered in scratch marks and stains. There's a small drain in the corner of the floor. My toilet, perhaps? A door with no windows. And on the floor by the door, I backpack. I tried to sit up. My body ached, and the moment I was upright, my vision started spinning. I wondered what they drugged me with. I realized I was shivering. I looked down. I wasn't wearing my own clothes anymore. I was wearing a dirty, ripped hospital gown, bright yellow with the pattern of Ronald McDonald's heads all over. Nothing underneath. I heard faint, muffled sounds from somewhere in the

It sounded like screams. I tried to stand, but couldn't keep my balance. My vision was beginning to stabilize, but my body still felt like rubber. I sank to my knees and crawled over to my backpack. Before I got there, I tried to open the door. As expected, it was locked. I slumped onto the floor beside my backpack and zipped it. All that remained inside was the photo album.

They'd taken my notebooks and pins and my cell phone. Of course they had. I really opened the photo album. instead of the photos that had been in there, ones of myself with my previous foster families, photos where I had attempted to look happy and hopeful even though I knew I wouldn't be there for long. Instead of those photos,

they were crime scene photos. And in each one, I recognized one of my former foster families brutally murdered and covered in blood. Oh, yeah. You know what, though? We didn't say that this story was written back during kind of the peak.

So I'm glad though it was almost a hyper-realistic blood. I mean, right? I love that. But it is an actual crime scene. So I guess the clowns murder everyone you've known, all the foster families you've known. That's their strategy, I guess. My heart raced and my stomach churned. I began to turn the pages quicker.

Each page, a new photo, a new family, new carnage. I recognize their faces in the inside of their homes. I lived with these people, and now they were all dead. I came to the last few pages. There was a photo of a house at night, then a window of that house. Then inside the house, a dark hall, with light coming from one doorway. Then a photo of my caseworker, brushing her teeth in the bathroom mirror.

Then a photo of her looking at the camera and horror. Then a photo of her naked, covered in her own blood, contorted into an unnatural position in her bathtub. I turned to the last page, written inside the back cover of the photo album, were three words. You never existed. Hell yeah. they fucking just a naked woman covered in blood in like a goddamn origami pose

in some bathtub and Ron McDonald's just like you never existed this was a thing with a lot of the old ones where it's like it's a story with

just the most brutal over like the idea of a naked woman brutally murdered. Like, that's, that's heavy, right? But yeah, the brutality is delivered by a 14-year-old who treats it with the same gravity as he does clown makeup. That just doesn't matter. It's the equivalent of kids that were like, yeah, like, I set bugs on fire and I think it's, and I hate my mom, I wish she was dead. It's like that kind of herbage, but in a story. I felt bile rising in my stomach. I threw the book to the ground, crawled over to the hole in the floor and vomited.

There was also a lot of vomiting in these old stories, too. Oh, yes. They were right. Having killed everyone who ever knew me, it was as though I never existed. I heard more faint screaming in the distance and knew I had to get out. I wiped the vomit off my face with my hospital gown and crawled back over to my backpack. Hopefully they hadn't found my secret weapon. I was a glauque. I got no shit. I'm like, what? I'd zip the front pocket and reach down to the very bottom. My finger's scraping the fabric.

Sure enough, there they were. Flesh with the seams in the bag, nearly undetectable. The pins I used for picking locks. I told you, I'm a bad kid. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Let's go. That.

Kids are badass. That gets the NCIS like, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I told you, I'm a bad kid. I laid against the door and listened. I could hear footsteps approaching. But just as soon as they arrived,

they faded in the other direction. I knew I had to. Awesome. Again, this was written 13 years ago, a highlight of creepypasta days. This is definitely written by a kid. And you can tell because they use a lot of like set pieces from cartoons.

Like listening to the door, hearing the footsteps get close and then go away. Pretty sure that's in the incredible. you know, stuff like that. And then like, the thing earlier about like, oh, all the clowns come and then like you fade to black as it sounds like the voices are getting more distant.

These are all cartoon motifs that they're using. I knew I had to work fast. I jiggled the handle with one hand and picked the lock with the other. It was surprisingly simple. Holding the handle, I slowly pulled myself to my feet. I could maintain my balance now. I pulled the door open just a crack.

A clown nurse started past. My heart almost stopped. but his footsteps didn't slow or change and soon faded. He didn't notice me. I poked my head out the door. There were seemingly endless white hallways in either direction. The distant screams were louder now, coming from all around. Taking a deep breath, I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me.

I decided to go to the right, passing doors identical to the one I had been in behind. I heard screams and sobbing. I stopped for a moment at one door and heard the crying of a child inside. I juggled the handle to see if I could let him out. Locked. I kept moving. Looking behind me every few seconds to make sure no nurses had come into the hallway. Then I passed a set of white double doors.

I stopped again. The word playplace was written in tall, thin letters across the width of both doors. I heard more screaming coming from within, the screams of multiple people, and laughter. The insane, shrill laughter of the clown nurses. I shuddered. I was afraid to find out what sort of torture was happening inside, and I knew I had to keep moving. I saw a door ahead with a stairway symbol and headed for it. As I opened the door, I glanced behind me and saw two clown nurses emerging from the playplace room.

Their white nurse outfits were covered in streaks of blood. I quickly shut myself into the stairwell, hoping they hadn't noticed me. The stairwell was dimly lit, cement walls, and rusty railings. I looked at the door I had just closed. There was a red number five on it. I must have been on the fifth floor. I decided I had to get to the ground level. Each footstep echoed as I began to descend the stairs.

I couldn't hear the screaming anymore. Just a low, deep humming sound like pipes in the walls. It was a welcome respite. It was a welcome respite is such an out-of-place sentence in this story. Respite feels like it came out of left field to hear that word get thrown in with the bloody Ronald McDonald costumes. I finally came to the door number one. The staircase seemed to descend a few floors lower,

but I stopped here and slowly peeked through the door. More white hallways. No clown nurses to be seen. So far, so good. I stepped through the door and walked into the hallway. I noticed I couldn't hear any screaming on this floor. Just the buzz of the fluorescent tube lights above. I get not to derail off of this,

but I knew the respite thing reminded me of something. Do you remember the story about the slips that we called polyamorous hell? Yeah. Okay. In that story, I think the word crestfallen showed up three times. In the midst of like

the crash falling, dude. Yeah, in the midst of the Reddit fan fiction, it uses a word from like the 1700s out of nowhere. It's a damn good word. That's what that reminds me of respite in the Ronald Big Donald killer clown asylum story. I came to the end of the hallway and another set of double doors.

A large red cross, the kind you'd see on a lifeguard stand or first aid kit, was painted across the width of them. I pressed my ear to one door. All I heard was a slow, rhythmic pulse, like a machine at work, faintly a beeping sound, like you'd hear in a hospital room. Please. Please be the original Ronald McDonald. please be the first one tied up to a chair kept alive by machines like house from a fallout new

Vegas please i knew i shouldn't have opened the door i knew this wasn't the exit that i should keep looking but i had to see i turned the handle it wasn't locked i peeked inside it was a cavernous white room fluorescent lights flickered and buzzed i saw wires hanging all around and hanged from the ceiling in rows. Kids. Ah, dang it. I want to be Ronald. Kids in hospital gowns like mine

attached to white wooden crosses affixed us. Jesus. I damn. Crucifying children. Good Lord. The Ronald McDonald House hurt. Do you see what I mean by the like

I set bugs on fire like kind of idea in the midst of this? He's a. bad kid. I'm a bad kid. I read about other kids getting crucified on the ceilings of the Ronald McDonald's house. Which I was like when we started the story, I was going to make a comment about like, do you think it's kind of bad to like take an actual charity and tie them to this? But this is so like it's whatever you want, dude. Oh, call it the Wounded Warriors Project for all I care.

Kids in hospital gowns like mine attached to white wooden crosses affixed to the ceiling. Literally crucified. They were silent. Their heads drooping forward. Their eyes either closed or staring at nothing. Some seemed to twitch a bit, but most were still. Their crosses swung back and forth very slightly. And the hanging wires, they weren't wires. They were intravenous tubes attached to the kids' wrists, tubes sucking out their blood. I almost vomited again right then and there. There we go, vomit. In the very center of the room, amidst the rows of hanging crosses, I could see where the rhythmic pulsing sound came from. A huge steel cylinder, which seemed to be collecting the blood from all the tangled tubes that dangled from the kid's wrist. I could still be right about the

Ronald thing. I could still be right about the Ronald thing. It could be it. I opened my mouth to to scream, to cry out in anger. All I could say was, what the fuck? And my mom can't stop me from typing that here because she doesn't know about creepypasta week she saw my instagram account and made me stop there but she doesn't know about this website that was when the alarms began to sound loud and piercing like the police sirens of hell they must have realized i was missing i shut the doors and frantically grants i shut the doors and frantically glanced around the hallway to see if anyone was coming no signs yet i ran for the stairwell as soon as i entered it i heard laughter from above echoing and The clown nurses were coming.

I stumbled down the stairs as fast as I could. I must have gone another three stories before I reached the basement. I found myself running through a dark, sewer-like hallway, with small light bulbs overhead every ten yards or so. The smell of decay and rotting flesh grew more and more pungent as I ran. The laughter continued behind me. I managed to glance over my shoulder and see a group of them running after me. I saw them come into the light, then become silhouettes again.

their smiling faces, gleaming knives, and needles pushing my adrenaline to the max. I ran past alcoes full of stacked, rotting corpses, but I couldn't stop. I couldn't think of anything but escape. Again, the flippantness that just children's bodies are inserted into the story, just literally piled up in the sewers. It's a classic. It's a classic trope. Oh, man. I turned a corner and found myself facing the metal rungs of a ladder in the wall.

I climbed until my head smacked the ceiling. Below me, the shadows and laughter grew closer. Their footsteps slowed. They were close and they knew it. I pushed at the ceiling above me, heaving upward and panting, screaming. The clowns were below me, laughing and waving their scalples. Something cut my leg. I screamed and pushed one last time.

The ceiling gave way as the manhole cover slammed onto an asphalt above. Circular opening. I climbed down and frantically pushed the cover back over the hole, blocking out the laughter of the clown nurses below. I lay there on top of the manhole cover for a few minutes as I caught my breath. Rain fell in my skin. The turbulent night sky above was a welcoming sight. I looked around.

Abandoned buildings, broken glass. No lights, no cars, no signs of any life at all. A police siren somewhere in the distance. Then silence. I climbed to my feet. Pain shot through my leg. I looked down and saw the cut on my ankle where clown nurse had slashed me. Bastards.

Living the best I could, I started to walk. Hello? I called out. The only answer was his distant roll of thunder. Somebody! Help me, please! My foot fell on something soft and mushy. I looked down.

A newspaper. I peeled it off the wet asphalt. Most of the ink faded, but I was able to make out the date. July 13th, 1992. What? The time travel thing? I don't know. What happened July?

Wait, why did he drive? Well, we don't know yet. We'll see. What happened on July 13? Why did that? Okay. Um, all right. I dropped it.

An icy dread filling my stomach. I kept walking. Can anyone hear me? Please. Anyone? Please. My words faded into delirious sobs. I stood.

But still for a moment. The rain had soaked through my thin hospital gown. I shivered as the wind blew. Then I saw a light in the distance. It was a big yellow M in the sky. A McDonald's, of course. I limped toward it. When I got to the place, I saw that apart from the M, the rest of the building was completely

dark. I walked cautiously toward the broken windows and looked inside. Darkness. I turned and surveyed the playplace outdoor playground, 10-foot-tall structures of colored tubes for kids to crawl through. Sitting at one of the benches was a familiar figure of Ronald McDonald's statue. You know, the one where you can sit beside him and it looks like he's got his arms around your shoulders.

Every kid's seen it. I shuddered at the sight. The doors were unlocked. I walked in, out of the rain, silence. darkness. I noticed that the decor wasn't like the modern McDonald's, you see. It was the same as it was in the 80s, with white plastic booths and red and yellow tiles. The wind seemed to whisper through the broken windows. I noticed something on the front counter, a black rectangle. I got closer. A laptop. A nearly new laptop. I let out a soft, delirious laughed. I knew what I was supposed to do.

I took the laptop outside and sat beside the Ronald statue I opened it and began to type the story the rain is falling on the keys but I don't care there's nothing left to do now but wait because I've been noticing out of the corner of my eye Ronald is trying to look over my shoulder he's laughing now

all I can do is join him dun dun dun dun you know what for a classic creepypasta story doesn't make any fuck i mean like it's so it's so random yeah but there's just that charm man i always live when we kind of come across these old classics from over a decade ago and it still just has like a little bit of charm the children crucified on the ceiling is the true cherry on top that's so good and i choose to believe that the thing and i was right and the thing inside of the cylinder was the original ronald mcdonald yeah like he's like a little embryo kind of uh yeah just

some kind of weird thing. You know what? All in all, pretty fun. Also, you have the exact same Ronald McDonald bench. I do. I have a 1985 Ronald McDonald's statue and it's, I'm looking at it right now. He's beautiful.

Yeah. And the bench and the bench. So you could go, you could be the kid and you can join Ronald. I will make my own Ronald McDonald's house and before too long I will crucify children and put them up on my ceiling. That just has to be done. These are just so interesting to me because it's like, what was the train? of thought that led to it.

I don't know. Did this kids see an image of like an 80s McDonald's with like the old boost and stuff? And he got kind of like the liminal feeling that's been, you know, super, you know, played out now. But I think kids just write things from what they know, you know. I mean, like, it's just this idea. It's the same thing of why there's a Squidward suicide.

And it's just these things of, uh, they just know about it. They know other kids know about it. And it's just, there's just the level of innocence. It's so funny too. It's just like, what's the most, what's the weirdest, most fucked up thing I can think of to put into a story. And I love that the story doesn't really have like any real purpose besides being like, what if, what if there's a place where Ron, like, the people dressed up like clowns and they tried killing you. But there's no real explanation to anything. It's just like these little vignettes of like crazy thoughts.

And there's like a really, there's like an interesting charm to that. Just it's just from a different time. You know, I just, that's why I like it. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I like the, I like the, how it goes from like, oh, I was a bad kid. So anyway, here's the crazy nurses.

And it's a giant building and the kids are crucified. Anyway, I'm time traveled now for some reason to July 13th, 1992, which as far as I can find does not mean anything. Like that date has no significance. And I'm in an old McDonald's and I'm now part of the McDonald's collective. Something that's not been brought up or mentioned at any point. I can't tell if, if that's supposed to be an extension of the Ronner. McDonald's house is what I'm thinking.

It's maybe is. Either that or time travel. We just don't know. I don't know. Regardless, you know what? It was fun. It's a close one between the two, but I kind of say, I think I like that first story to touch better.

Yeah, the Ouija board one was fun. That's our episode today, guys. Thank you for joining along with us and hanging out. Be sure to check out the links below and support the authors. We really would appreciate that. Thank you to our audio listeners over on Spotify, Apple Podcast, and where you can listen to an app podcast. Thanks for giving us a nice rating.

And also thank you to our patrons. And if you want some extra content, check out the Patreon. It helps us out. Until next time, guys, stay creeped. We'll see you next week. Stay creeped. Appreciate you guys. And the motorcycle wreck was very cool and scary and brave of me in the time.

The video just didn't do it justice. And Hunter's wrong for making fun of me for it. So just remember that. I'm special. Bye.