CreepCast - Smile Dog | CreepCast

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

Hunter and Isaiah read three silly creepy pastas starting with Smile Dog, then a Beatles lost episode and finally a young man looking for a good plumber. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to Creepkest! We are... The energy you... Okay, go ahead. We're reading some classics today. One being in all time... Some would say, maybe not the best. Babe Ruth

of Creepostas. One of the guys that like... The Barry Bonds. Well, who's one that got kicked out for like steroids? Yeah, Barry Bonds has been pretty heavy. Jason, the Jason Giambi. Sure.

Armstrong. The Mark McGuire. Sure, man. Lance Armstrong? The Lance Armstrong of baseball. He was the best cyclist of all time. I just want to say that.

I think a little steroids didn't hurt anybody. Uh, we're in Smyrd. dog along with some other stuff uh maybe the beetles and the clockwork action I don't fucking know but we're definitely reading smile dog

actually what if you think that smile dog would have a what is it small dog's bark sound like it'd be more like a more like a what's a scary bark that's a scary sounds like a man at school getting sick barf

I just threw up Yeah, so we're going to be reading some of the OGs today. We've gone through a lot of the big ones. Small dogs, of course, a big one. There's a couple other more niche ones that were remembered for one reason of another. It should be an enjoyable episode. I think Hunter's going to have a terrible time, which means I'm going to have a great one. So I'm looking forward to it.

No, I'm going to have a good time. What are you doing over there? I'm doodling a man with his face melting. That's what that would sound like. Dude, you can just slip that under here. about a bean now's gone smile dog

did you ever like yeah it doesn't your mom was telling me yesterday when I was talking to her about that when you were a kid someone at a church you all went to recommended that you see a psychiatrist

that is true and that's true that was last time went to that church they literally were like we actually don't want him coming back to the congregation and I think

I see some of the I can't draw a guy with eyes melting Well it's just the fact that like that's It wasn't being talked about or anything But that's just where your brain Trails off to draw Stuff like that

Okay Well smile Do you want to go on medication Or anything like that? I was that big That was good All right good Smile no

Getting into Smile Dogg here I just want to thank everyone Who is on Spotify and Apple Podcast To give us those beautiful ratings It really does help us. Also, our patrons. Hey, I love you. I miss you. Welcome back. Right? We have merch. We got merch. Do you need some clothes for your beautiful body? Yep. Why cover it? Let it hang out. It'll be free. Some hats, some shirts, backpack. Actually, I'm saying don't I buy it.

You're saying don't buy it? No. Where are you saying don't buy it? No. No. No. The link is it. but no don't do it why shouldn't we buy it i'm nagging i'm trying to because they're gonna be like dad says to not buy it therefore i want it right it's like you tell your kid don't smoke pot what's he on a day wants to go smoke pot don't go get the merch you would look real silly what are you looking at you keep looking over here get it. Thank you all. Turn the phones off all recording. God, dear.

That was my alarm I set last night to wake up in the morning, but I put it to PM. I just like, there is no way we're ever going to actually get ahead. There's no way. We're we are. It is Sisyphus. It is Sisyphus rolling

the ball up the hill. Thanks, I'm not for them. The P and the A look kind of a bit similar. Mind you, his alarm to wake up was It's going to be 9.30 a. I've seen him wake up before, and it's haunting. It's like a war vet waking up.

Literally, he, like, he sits there. He's either completely dead, or then when he decides to wake up, he does like, so I just imagine this morning, some kind of internal, like, demon was in his brain that fucking woke him up on time, luckily. What time were you going to bed? Oh, I mean, last night I went to bed at three, and then I woke up at seven, 20 to get to the airport

So why'd you do that? I could have drove him to the airport I didn't want you to be mad at Are you Is that a legitimate Is that a legitimate thing?

Yeah Wait You get him Every time You got to take him To the airport But because You know why

Because he comes in at 3 a. Okay well yes But then whenever I go out I've gotten him Every time He comes in at like midnight Okay that's fine I guess he's like well the tickets are $30 cheaper

okay right right whatever and then when I go to his neck of the woods he's like nah it's too much of a drive and I'm like fair that's fair right so it's bullshit okay well can I just say can I just say that when I landed here yesterday

I was I was in a goop suit and you didn't tell me about any of that I land here he's I'm like hey I'm gonna be there Thursday at three. Hunter's like Thursday at three, got it. Thursday at three. I get here. It was a stressful week. Thursday at three. I'm like, hey man. Nothing.

That's, but that is rare though. 15 minutes later. That's not an ongoing thing. 15 minutes later I call Hunter. Nothing. I was in the goop suit. I text in the group chat. Harry's like, are you here? Yes. Yes, I am. And Harry's like, do you need a ride? And I'm like, well, I guess not. I guess not.

I was so. I was in a goop suit. It's a bit of a stressful week. I Uber over here and there's 40 people here. I just like, we had lights and cameras on the goop suit. Here's the thing about Hunter. He never tells you anything.

That can't possibly be true. He's just like, what do you point of him for? They know because they work with you. I know they know. Hunter's like. I feel like I'm overbearing. I feel like I tell them too much.

No, no. Maybe them specifically, but other people, it's like, hey you like you want to do something and I'm like yeah and he goes cool and then I'll get there and there will be like 18 things happening at once and he was like yeah so like just just no to be fair to be completely transparent the shoot day got pushed back and I slipped my mind okay so this was not supposed to even going on that's true so okay is that true sure sure sure but me and you talked about me coming in Tuesday so that means while

You were on the shoot. You were like, he doesn't need to know. He'll figure it out. Thursday at 3. Got it. The shoot got pushed. And it slipped my mind.

It is, it is a lot of facts that during the shoot, we were communicating about me. Can I just say, never brought it up. Orff? What is the Arf?

Smile dog. No, no. No, you're not getting out of this one. You got to get to the, you walking up the hill with your little. Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Thank you, Harry. Thank you. I get here. I get it. So I have to Uber over to my friend's house, right? The driver's like, oh, is this like a buddy of yours? And I'm like, allegedly. We get up to the house. We pull up to the fence. And he's like, you want me to drive you up? And I'm like, to be honest, Hunter didn't give me any, or sorry, my friend didn't give me any directions. I don't know if, you know, what door he's in, what room he's in. I don't even know if he wants you to come in. We'll just stay here. He's like, are you sure? It's raining.

I'm like, yeah, I'm sure. So I get out in the rain and I have my little rolly backpack and I just start walking up Hunter's driveway. And then I look to the house and I'm like, well, if my friend was in there, I guess he'd probably be looking for me. So he must not be there. Come to find out, Allison was just watching me the whole time. just then it waved it like he's over there just looked from the house watch me in the rain

I walk all the way up the hill I get to the top and Harry comes outside because he cares Harry comes outside and he was like hey Isaiah I'm like

oh hi are you guys in there no concept of different people being here anything going on he was like yeah you can set your stuff in here I'll show you the new building I'm like oh wow there's a new building I set my stuff in one door

Go to this new building I open a door There are I kid you not 35 people Standing around On a movie set Doing things And I'm just like

I what What is going on I'll be the bigger man And admit that I was wrong I should have been more intentive But I will say Can I have two words Can I have two?

Can I have two words goop suit if I didn't have the goop suit on this whole thing would have been a it would have been fine so two things would have been fine

actually either hey you're gonna walk onto a movie set but I didn't think that that would be a big deal and you know what I would it wasn't a big deal

it wasn't a big deal I'm saying with that information I would have said oh I can Uber that's true or even then I'll be the bigger man and admit that's true

or even then just say, hey, can you Uber over? I will concede to be the bigger man that I... I will... I will... And then decide... Because I reach this... How do I pay you back?

I reached this decision point when I got to the Kansas City airport, like the end of it, where I'm like, well, I could leave security and go outside, but I don't know if he's coming. So I guess I'll sit here. That's a bit over dramatic. And then I ate a Cineabon.

And then I just sat there for a while. That was, that was more of a terrorist act than anything. It was, it was. To not even, to be leaving the airport and being like, well, I guess one sonobon wouldn't hurt. I was in the wind. Also, why didn't you text Harry sooner? I did. I did text him.

You know what? I responded right when you text a group chat, but you did. Look at the, look at the time code. That's what I'm doing right now. Reference the time code. Harry, you do the same. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

We're all, this is also a horror story podcast, by the way. I landed. I landed early at 246. That's not my fault. That's the pilot's fault. Actually, I said landed when we got to the gate.

So I landed like earlier. That's the pilot's fault. I said landed 15 minutes early. Nothing. I'm like, okay, I walk all the way to the front right before I'm about to make the decision where I can't come back into the airport.

I call Hunter at 311. So I was, so that's 14. that's 25 minutes I call Hunter Hunter doesn't say anything I then go to the group chat

and I say at 312 I'm going to build a tent in the airport and then that was at 312 5 minutes later Harry text me

if you're already been waiting 25 that's not bad what 30 minutes 10 a half hour In front of Cineball To be fair, you were early, so technically break it even about 10 minutes. To when you're supposed to land.

That's not our fault. He says, what happened? I said nothing. I'm just giving. I'm just giving. What happened is such a funny answer. I thought to myself, does he even know I'm coming?

Does he even know that I'm. You're here? Question mark? I thought you got like delayed or something. No. It was three. It was when the plane. would be here.

I said, okay, so I said, I'm going to pitch a tent, and Harry says, why have it? I said,

nothing, I'm just giving a hard time. Says I was going to have a boner in the airport. And then I said, and then I said, I got a big old boner of the airport.

No one's picking me up so I guess I'm getting, don't make this one of your bits. Don't make this about you. So I guess I'm getting hard. Don't. No. No. I said,

I said, I said, nothing, I'm here in Kansas. I'm an Indian. And I got a teepee in between my legs. And Harry says, the audacity, by the way. Harry says, do you need a ride?

One minute later. And then, 60 seconds. And then he says, Hunter is covered in goo and slime. Goopsuit. Again, I have no concept of a film or anything. So I think, that would be confusing. I think that you're not. I'll be the bigger man here, and I will admit that that would be confusing.

I thought you were shooting a pop-a-meat video and, like, there was some bit where you have Nickelodeon slime on you or something. I'm like, oh, okay, whatever. So I said, LMAO, I can Uber. So I do that. And once again, I walk, oh, yeah, here's me walking up the driveway at 358 p.m. After I got it over an hour later, I'm walking in. It's been a cool hour. say are y'all in the studio

once again no one gives me any heads up and Harry says are you outside I'll come get you and then once again walk into a room and I'm just I'm surrounded you know what I'm my fault

and then he steps away from the set walks over to me and the first thing he says to me is look who decided to show I forgot about that. You know what? That was, that was rude. That was rude.

And obviously, there has to be some kind of payback. And you know what I'll do? Whenever I go out to visit you next time, I'm not going to ask for a ride. And I'll tell you what I'll do, too. I will literally film myself sitting in an airport for an hour. I will do that for. for you. Thank you.

I will do that. And then I'll say, we're even. And then I'll, I'll take an Uber. Okay. Wherever I need to go. But it has,

well, it can't be the next trip. It has to be randomly. One trip you're going to land and I'm just not going to say anything. Okay. I'll take it. This is that trip. That'll be the thing.

I'll do. Yeah. I see. Yeah. That's not fair though, because you never respond to Texas anyways. How many times have I texted you, sir?

No, no, that's completely different. Okay. That's different because. Well, how would I know? That's because you text me out of the blue.

And whenever I'm working during the day... Must I just a schedule by text you? No, no, no. My point is I set my phone away so I don't get distracted. I'm real bad about putting on my phone scroll. Oh, so you'll say, because you know that I'm showing up that you'll be looking at it. Exactly. Okay.

Yes. I see. Because once again, I had said two days prior Thursday at 3 p.m. Absolutely. Yeah. No. I was in the wrong. I'll be the big man.

I'll take the high road. I'll admit I'm wrong. I was wrong. I was a bad boy. I should have been the goop suit. Should have reconsidered this. Could have even probably pushed this a week. Probably.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't want you to put, look, this all would have been mediated with a, hey, can you Uber? Absolutely. Shouldn't have had the hands on. Shouldn't have had the goop on me. No. I was in a goop suit.

All that was great. All that was fine. Just made me a look. When I'm on the phone, because when I was talking to you texting, you were in another goop suit. Two days prior on Tuesday. When I'm like, to be fair, though, I didn't have my arms on, though. Couldn't have used my phone. My point is, I know, I'm not, look, once it happened, once I was there at 3 p.m.

You were in the goop suit. What's done was done. Exactly. Well, I'll tell you what, it's already passed life. We're here now. Right. Aren't we? We lived.

And we're about to read Smile Dog, which is arguably one of the best creepy posters of all time. That's not what I said, but okay. All right. Smile Dog. All right. So the original Smile Dog was up. load in 2010.

So it's like a dinosaur compared to all the others, right? And it was an image that started to float around the internet and the story accompanied it. So let me look up the smile dog image. I think it's on the story. My page isn't loading for some reason. There's so many pop-up ads. Creepy posse.

Oh, yeah. So this is this image is so fucking stupid. Is this the actual image that looks like the husky that's like this? Yeah. That's the classic smile dog. So this was like, people were like, what the fuck? It floated around and chain emails. Yeah.

And it was like share this with 10 people. or else. Or you die. Yeah, one of those things. Yeah. There's a story attached to it. On the link in the chat,

it's just ads for Travago. I will say, creepypasta.com, I don't know what we have to do to get these ads a little more manageable. Because right now, I have a all Spanish.

It says, soy, Marcella, mama, Mama, Waii Actavistia. Yanada me, Don, my page.

My page is all white, but the ads are loading. So it's half of Superman's face. Seguir brillando. And now it's a coach ad. I got Hotels.com right now. Well, they're all supposed to be good fucking money

if they're getting these ads. Good Lord. All right. Also anonymously written, right? No, we don't know who the author is. No, there's an author.

I literally can't open the page. Hold on. Give me a second. I think it's good. While this is happening, I'm going to, for audio lists, there's a home.

I'm drawing smile dog. Yes. There we go. At the moment while Isaiah loads his iPad. Dude, I opened Safari on here. The last thing that was opened on Safari was Baraska Part 5 on this. What a, can I get a slight replay of what Brasca,

the reaction of that was? Welcome back. I don't think it'll be as that bad. Will it? Have you read a smile dog before? Well, yeah, yeah. Okay, so you're familiar. Is this like 20 years old by now?

Came out in 2010. That's like 20 years old. Is this thing like 100 years old? Did Charlie Chaplin write this story? I didn't hear the 2010 part. I was just asking. No reason to jump on the little guy. Hold on.

Why can I find the story? Can I say, can I at least, ask this question. Yeah. Is Smile Dog, if you had to say cut or uncut, what would you say? I'm not answering that question. It's definitely uncut. Don't encourage him. What are you going to say? Not whatever he wants me to.

Who would cut Smile Dogs? I have. be let me hold on lift it up no wonder he's smiling

not there smiled on with him been you it's nothing but pedigree you've got to censor that oh yeah you can be pixelated

or something yeah absolutely I'm actually going to tuck it on there too yikes okay well work on my phone Hold on.

What are you looking up? I'm trying to find the storybook just as. I'd like to take a quick break from the show to thank today's sponsor, Rocket Money. It's easy to spend money, but the hard part is not spending it. I know firsthand that moving into a new house takes things like budgeting and planning. And with a lot going on, it's easy to overlook things. Thankfully, today's sponsor Rocket Money is here to help. Rocket Money is an easy-to-use app that helps you save more and manage your money better.

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do is click the link in the description at RocketMoney.com slash Creepcast or scan the QR code to get started on Rocket Money for free. That is right, for free. From there, you can unlock premium to get even more of the app's features, but for now you can just try it out and see if it's right for you. Again, that's rocketmoney.com slash creepcast or scan the QR code to get in on this incredible offer today. Thank you to Rocket Money for sponsoring the show. We are now back to the episode. There it is. Look. No, no, that's the other one. This is, wait, hold on, didn't work when I did that? It did to hold it sideways. What the? What is that The website only appears in the left.

We have not read one word from the story. It's hardly longer than it takes to read the story. The story, yeah, the story is shorter than what we've been talking about. All right, now I'm in. Smile dog, creepypossus. From the top. Yeah, from the top. Hold on.

I locked the iPad. Okay, I'm good now. All right. Rough, rough. Let's begin. I first met in person with Mary E. in the summer of 2007. I had arranged with her husband of 15 years,

Terrence, to see her for an interview. Mary had initially agreed, since I was not a newsman, but rather an amateur writer gathering information for a few early college assignments and, if all went according to plan, some pieces of fiction. We scheduled the interview for a particular weekend

when I was in Chicago on unrelated business. But at the last moment, Mary changed her mind, locked herself in the couple's bedroom, refusing to meet with me. For an half an hour, where I sat with Terrence as we camped outside the bedroom door, eye listening and taking notes while he attempted fruitlessly to calm his wife. The things Mary said made little sense, but

fit with the pattern I was expecting. Though I could not see her, I could tell from her voice that she was crying, and more often than not, her objections to speaking with me centered around an incoherent diatribe on her dreams, her nightmares. Parents apologized profusely when we ceased the exercise, and I did my best to take it in stride. Recall that, I wasn't a reporter in search of a story, but merely a curious young man in search of information. Besides, I thought at the time, I could perhaps find another similar case if I put my mind and resources to it. Mary E was the S-O-P for S-O-O-P. S-Y.

S-I-S-Y-S-O-K. I mean, it looks like S-O-P, but it says S-I-O-P, is there a word? I don't think so. S. Y. S.O.P. S. Y. Oh, is that a company? No, it says Mary E was the Sysop for a small Chicago-based bullet support system. Oh, system op.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Thank you. Mary E was the Sysov. Was that just the last straw? I just, it's just so much. Being berated and having him chime in. Oh, system operator.

It's too late in the day. It's too late. For people that don't know, we're recording this at two in the morning. Can I tell you a secret? I'm in desperate need of medical attention and care. I'm so old, fat, I'm falling apart at the scenes. But I don't know what doctor to use.

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across every specialty. From mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much, much more. Probably dick and ball stuff, boys. And the nice thing about ZogDak is that you can filter for doctors that take your insurance are nearby and are highly rated. It's super easy to use, and you can find an appointment time that works for you, with the right doctor for your needs. Plus Zoc Doc appointments happen fast. Typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same-day appointments.

Oh my God! You don't want to admit it. But you should probably see a doctor. So stop putting off those doctor appointments and go to Zocdoc.com slash creepcast to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Zoc-D-O-Coc.com slash creepcast. Zot-dog.com slash creepcast. Mary E was a sysoff for a small Chicago-based bulletin board system in 1992

when she first encountered smile. dot JPEG, and her life changed forever. Smile. My life is forever ruined. I should not have opened that compressed image. Okay, sorry.

She and Terrence had been married for only five months. Mary was one of an estimated 400 people who saw the image when it was posted as hyperlink on the BBS. Though, she is the only one who has spoken openly about the experience. The rest have remained anonymous or are perhaps dead.

In 2005, when I was only in 10th grade, smile.com was first brought to my attention by my burgeoning interest in web-based phenomena. Mary was the most often-sighted victim of what is sometimes referred to as smile.org. The being, smile.jpeg, is reputed to display. What caught my interest, other than the obvious macabre elements

of the cyber legend in my proclivity towards such things, was the sheer lack of information, usually to the point that people don't believe it even exists other than as a rumor, hoax. It's unique because, though the entire phenomenon centers on a picture file, the file is nowhere to be found on the internet. Certainly many photo-manipulated simulacra littered the web, showing up with the most frequency on sites such as the image board 4chan,

particularly the X-focused paranormal subboard, it is suspected these are fakes because they do not have the effect the true smile dot jpeg is believed to have namely sudden onset temporal lobe epilepsy and acute anxiety what what the fuck is even happening okay so is this a doctor's report what the fuck are we reading okay so it's someone who's like done research tried to track down the true smile dog but whatever this image is this smile dog or smile jpeg smile jpeg is the name of the file right that got passed around and that's what he's looking for that's what he's looking for and then this woman was corrupted by

she's the only one who's talked about it that he can find that she saw the smile dog right yeah and she has anxiety so he says the smile dog images are people recreating it from rumors but the real image when you look at it causes epilepsy nausea like an intense

mental reaction to it's what he's saying and all the images that float around are just like fakes of the real thing right the purported reaction in the viewer is one of the reasons the phantom like smile dot jpeg is regarded with such disdain, since it is patently absurd,

though depending on whom you ask the reluctance to acknowledge smile.JPEG's existence might be just as much out of fear as it is out of disbelief. Neither smile.jpeg, nor smile.org, is mentioned anywhere on Wikipedia, though the website features articles on such other, perhaps more scandalous shock sides

as hello.jpeg or two girls one cup. Any attempt to create a page pertaining to smile. dot jpeg is summarily deleted by any of the encyclopedias many admins. Encounters of smile.japag are the stuff of internet legend. Mary East story is not unique. There are unverified rumors of smile. JPEG showing up in the early days of Usenet. And even one persistent tale that in 2002,

a hacker flooded the forums of humor and satire website something awful with a deluge of smile. Dot dog pictures. We're during almost half of the forum's users at the time, epileptic. It's also said that in the mid to late 90s, that Smile.JPEG circulated on Usenet and as an attachment of a chain email with the subject line, Smile, God loves you. Yet despite the huge exposure these stunts would generate, there are very few people who admit to having experienced any of them. No trace of the file or any link has ever been discovered. Those who claimed you have seen Smile.JPEG often a weekly joke that they were far too busy to save a copy of the picture to their hard drive. However, all alleged victims offered the same description of the photo.

A dog-like creature, usually described as appearing similar to a Siberian husky, illuminated by the flash of the camera, sits in a dim room, the only background detail that is visible being a human hand extending from the darkness near the left side of the frame. Hands empty, but is usually described as beckoning. Of course, most attention is given to the dog, or dog creature, as some victims are more certain than others about what they're. claimed to have seen. The muzzle of the beast is reputedly split in a wide grin,

feeling two rows, very white, very straight, very sharp, very human-looking teeth. Is that funny, honey? It's like veneer dog. Scary. This is, of course, not a description given immediately after viewing the picture, but rather a recollection of the victims who claimed to have seen the picture endlessly repeated in their mind's eye during the time they are, in reality, having epileptic fits. These fits are reported to continue indeterminably, often while the victims asleep,

resulting in very vivid and disturbing nightmares. These may be treated with medication, though in some, it's more effective than others. Mary E., I assumed, was not on effective medication. That was why, after my visitor apartment in 2007, sent out feelers to several folklore and urban legend oriented news groups, websites, mailing list, hoping to find the name of a supposed victim of smile.jpg, who felt more interested in talking about his experiences. For a time, nothing happened and at length I forgot completely about my pursuits since I had begun my freshman year of college and was quite busy. Mary contacted me via email, however, near the beginning of March 2008. This is added by Moose Juice. To jML at redacted.com from Mary E.

at redacted.net. Subject, last summer's interview. Description. Dear Mr. L, I'm incredibly sorry about my behavior last summer when you came to interview me. I hope you understand that it was no fault of yours, but rather my own problems that led me to act out as I did. I realized that I could have handled the situation more decorously. However, I hope you will forgive me. At the time, I was afraid. You see, for 15 years, I've been haunted by smile.jpeg. smile. Dog comes to me in my sleep

every night did you like that did you get a kick out of that one every night every night my father's speaker on the corner

like big goofy ass smile at one point it's just not scary anymore it's a Siberianowski that's smiling

at you big fucking chomper's I'd just be like, close the door. I know that sounds silly, but it is true. There's an, there's an effable quality about my dreams. My nightmares that makes them completely unlike any real dreams I've ever had. I do not move and do not speak. I simply look ahead.

The only thing ahead of me is the scene from that horrible picture. I see the beckoning hand and I see smile dot dog. It talks to me. it is not a dog of course though I'm not quite sure what it really is it tells me it will leave me alone if I do it as it asks all I must do it says

is spread the word that is how it phrases its demands and know exactly what it means it wants me to show it to someone else and I could the week after my incident I received the mail a manila envelope with no return address

inside was only three and a half inch floppy diskette without having checked I knew precisely what was on it I thought for a long time about my options I could show it to a stranger a co-worker I can even show it to Terrence

as much as the idea discussed in me and what would happen to then well a smile dot dog kept its word I could sleep yet if it lied what would I do and who was to say something worse would not come for me

if I did what the creature asked so I did nothing for 15 years. Though I kept the discreet hidden amongst many things amongst my things every night for 15 years Smother Dog has come to me in my sleep and demanded that I spread the word

for 15 years I have stood strong This is a serious hunter Every Every night For 15 years Thousands of times Literally

literally imagine Also, can you explain to me? I don't, not to derail this email. What the fuck does a beckoning hand look like? Is it just this? Yeah, yeah. Like inviting. So, so you're saying it's that every night he's doing this, he's just like, spread the word.

No, no, no, no. Behind smile dog is a beckoning hand off scene. Spread the word. Like, there's a hand behind smile dog. And that's just what he's done every night. I mean, if anything, you can admire his. tenacity, his persistence. But if you just don't spread the word, I mean,

there's no repercussions besides him just showing up and being like, seriously? Would you just fucking spread this word already? You're pissed me off. Yeah. She's been able to sleep every night, by the way. Well, it's something, like you said, at some point, it's like, all right.

I don't know how the thought am I going to do. This is life now? Okay. For 15 years, I have stood strong. Though there have been hard times, many of my fellow victims on the BBS board where I first encountered smile that JPEG, stop posting. I heard some of them committed suicide, committed unaliving.

Others remained completely silent, simply disappearing off the face of the web. They're the ones I worry about the most. I sincerely hope you will forgive me, Mr. L. But last summer when you contacted me and my husband about an interview, I was near the breaking point. I decided I was going to give you the floppy disk yet. I did not care if smile that dog was lying or not. I wanted it to end. You were a stranger, so when I had no connection with, and I thought I would not sorrow when you took the descent as part of your research and sealed your fate. Before you arrived, I realized what I was doing, plotting to ruin your life. I could not stand the thought, and in fact I still cannot.

I am ashamed. Mr. Ellen, I hope that this warning will dissuade you from further investigation of Smile.JPEG. You may in time encounter someone who is, if not weaker than I, then wholly more depraved, someone who will not hesitate to follow Smile. That dog's orders. Stop while you are still whole. Sincerely, Mary E.

Terrence contacted me later that month with the news that his wife had killed herself. Oh, no. That's a good comedic timing beat. all of that, and then pretty much she totally blew her brains out. It's not, she's been doing this for 15 years, and now that's the brain. Where I left since the email, goodbye. I spread the word.

Thanks, honor. I'm glad that's funny. It got me good. Okay. While cleaning up the various things she'd left behind, closing email accounts and the like, he happened upon the above message. He was a man in shambles. He wept as he told me to listen to his wife's advice.

You found the discette. He revealed and burned it until it was nothing but a stinking pile of black and plastic. Part of the most disturbed him, however, how the discad had hissed as it melted, some sort of animal, he said. I will admit that I was a little uncertain about how to respond to him. this. At first I thought, perhaps, it was a joke, with the couple belatedly playing with the situation in order to get a rise out of me. Quick check on several Chicago newspapers online, obituaries, however, proved that Mary E was indeed dead. There was, of course, no mention of suicide

in the article. I decided that, for a time at least, I would not further pursue the subject of smile.jpeg, especially since I had finals coming up at the end of May. The world has odd ways of testing us. Almost a full year after I returned for my disastrous interview with Mary E, I received another email. To JML at redacted.com from El Zahir 82 at redacted.com. Subject. Smile.

Hello. I found your email just to readlist your profile sent you're interested in small bar. I've thought it is not as bad as I've said to you here. just spur of the word smiley face the final line chilled me to the bone according to my email client

there was one file attached called naturally smile.jepg I considered downloaded it for some time it's most likely a fake I imagined and even if it weren't I was never wholly

convinced of small dot jpeg's peculiar powers Mary E's account of shaking me yes but she was probably mentally unbalanced anyway After all, how could a simple image to what small dot JPEG was said to accomplish? What sort of creature was it that could break one's mind

with only the power of the eye? And if such things were patently absurd, why did the legend exist at all? If I downloaded the image, if I looked at it, and if Mary turned out to be correct, if small dot JPEC came to me in my dreams and Mandy and I spread the word, what would I do?

Would I live my life as Mary had? Fighting against the urge to give in until, I died? Or would I simply spread the word, eager to be put to rest? If I chose the latter route, how could I do it? Who would I burdened in turn? If I went through with my earlier intention to write a short article about smile.jpeg, I decided I could attach it as evidence. And anyone who read the article, anyone who took interest, would be affected. And even assuming small dot jpeg attached to the email was genuine, would I be capricious enough to save myself in that manner? Could I spread the word?

Yes. Yes, I could. Then bottom of the image, anywhere. Any way it appeared online at the very bottom of the image was a bloody thumbprint with the picture. So, author starts to track this, goes insane, and then eventually looks at the photo, which compels him to share it with the internet. I like the idea of at the end of, no matter what at the end of the story, you get kind of hit by it. Yeah, yeah. Also, this was very well written for an earlier. Or what it was. For what it was. At the time, well, very good.

It was well random stuff. And also, the context around this. The image is just so... The image is goofing. Also, where's the beckoning hand? Off to the left. Look in the bottom left. See the hand reaching up?

Once again, those glasses. Oh. I didn't notice that until they're right now. What the fuck? So does it look like someone's dying? Someone's on the ground To the side Like reaching up

Yeah Yeah So the intention is that Smile dog's like some entity Like a demon or ghost That has like Like a shapeshifter almost It's a dog but it has human teeth

Like it's a weird in between thing And the context for this story Is this image had already started Floating online if I remember correctly Maybe they were around the same time But people would get email chains That would say spread the word And it would be that picture right

it's like what's that about but then you see the story attached that it drives people mad they have to spread very much like uh ringu yes very similar reminds me of wringo this is a fun time in the early 2000s where technology people were finding ways of like you're sharing media and it's cursed and everything i did have a couple thoughts though the veneers made me think of uh turkey teeth or turkey hair hair hair transplant or the veneers what if when you got a hair transplant from turkey your veneers, you had, what if it was just a Turkish man that was smiling that visited you every night? And then the thing is, you had to have someone else go to Turkeying at the herded until he left you alone. Smile. Dot turkey.

Smile. Dot turkey or turkey.jpeg. Also, I wanted to do an edit here. Turkey isn't a files. It's not a compression. This is a aisle. response. Yeah, I do love a file type just being dot turkey. It's pretty good. Would the turkey be t rk-y dot turkey? So I do want to say about this story. I read this when I was in middle school, I think.

Yeah, 10. I was probably 11 or 12 and I came across it. And I remember this story freaked me out because you got to understand. I was a kid. I saw the email, the picture floating around. It's like, what's this picture? It's like a bloody Mary kind of thing. Same thing.

Yeah. So I thought it'd be. cool. And after I realized it's story, I'm like, oh, this is cool. I'm going to send it to my friends. They'll be funny. So I started an email chain where I said like spread the word and put the email on. And then the next day at school, every guy was like, that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Don't you ever? And they immediately just like, no, it's scary, right guys? No, it's scary, guys. Honestly, I, you know, my birthday's this weekend. We're having a pool party with water balloon fight and stuff,

you're not coming. I remember being like, yeah, I thought it was lame. That's why I shared it. It was a joke. You didn't. I thought it was stupid. The party's awesome.

It's ice cream cake. That's really dumb, right? You know, some people are scared by that? And it's the water balloons that look like grenades. It's going to be awesome. Oh, those were so cool, dude. Well, you're not coming because of that one email. No, I thought it was scary.

I would love to sit there, open it up, look at my subject line. What is this, whatever? Scroll down. Oh, an image. Okay, I'll download it. And, you know, scroll down. Click.

The Beatles cartoon, lost episode. Yay. Who's your favorite beetle? Um, Ringo. Because he was just the goofiest best stuff. Like, the song Maxwell's Silver Hammer, all of them hated it. And when they asked Ringo's like, I thought it was kind of nice. I enjoyed it.

Oh, me thinks that it was actually caught as a good diddle. You know, no, not Ringo. What was the fourth one? Not Paul or John. George? George. George is the one thinking of you. George is a.

George is cool. Just use... No one likes Ringo the most. Yeah, yeah, George. George was like the one that was just... Unsung hero. Yeah.

George. The main man. Yeah, one's in there one with a beetle. Who's your least favorite beetle? John. John. Of course.

Easy. Yep. John. I like the little, the fucking beaver tooth bastard, Paul McCartney quite a bit. Be wants to hold your hand.

Me wants to hold your hand. He was a good counter to John, to my understanding, because John was like, no, we've got to, we've got to change the world. We've got to be different. And then Paul would be like, no. That's a dumb idea. I don't like that idea. You know, the Beatles.

It's one of those things when people are like, the Beatles are lame. It's like, it's impossible to not like at least one. I mean, it's like, it's like anything else. Like being like, oh, Elvis was, he didn't do anything or like he was lame. I really like that one that new editor that keeps saying the meme where it's like songs you didn't know realize Elvis wrote and it's like jump all the house jump all the house and just well it's Rick and Morty time the theme song. Have you seen that? Yeah. It's a good one night where Caitlin and I were driving home and I was really tired and she was just flipping through songs and that Elvis song came on. I can't even remember which one of what the title of it is. But in the beginning like I heard the music and I go, is this. This is a song where he says, I'm caught in a trap. And as soon as I got done saying that, he goes,

I'm caught in a trap. I can't walk out because I love you too much, baby. So, why can't you see? Ooh, what you're doing to me? And you don't believe what I'll say. We can go on together with the same. Suspicious minds And we can rid of our dreams

We're suspicious love To my old friend I know You want to draw like that He's like, we're lost in a cloud With too much of rain We're trapped in a world That's struggled with pain And as long as a man

Has a strength to dream dream, he can redeem his soul and fly. Go ahead, finish it. Deep in my heart, there's a trembling, but I'm sure that the answer is gonna come

somehow. there in the dark there's a beckoning candle oh yeah and while I can think while I can talk while I can stand while I can walk

while I can dream so please let my dream come true right now he wrote that because they discontinued Youhoo Just kidding

It was Martin Luther King died That's why I wrote that one Probably shouldn't put that in there But The Beal's So So I don't even know

It's all right It's okay The Beatles lost cartoon episode I don't think I've ever read this one I don't know when it came out that's my understanding is it one of those like OG ones

is this an old one Harry I don't know how old it is but I heard it's classic The Beatles cartoon lost episode does not feel like like a classic creepy positor to me well it was back when like Dead Bart or like Squidward Suicide that all seems fine because that's like

New Ray like Dead Squidward I'm like at the time time that's people were probably young and obsessed with it'd be like nowadays it'd be like creepy posse about like has been hotel or some shit yeah yeah you know i'm sure that's out there a hundred percent that's yeah but we have to find it whatever it's happening all right just want to start off by saying that if you want an answer at the end prepare to be disappointed there is a one like to start this off by affirming that i am a huge Beatles fan as well as being 14 years old.

You know, you rarely see that level of honesty. I love that. I gotta say there is a shocking amount of truth and all this. I just want to say, like the Beatles, like 90% of the world, most of 14. Also, I have no idea what's going. You will be disappointed by the end of this. You are going to be like, that was not worth my time. Yes, of course.

I'm also an avid collector of Beatles stuff. I was even there at their first concert. how old is this person I don't 14 so no you weren't they have great music and great talent

they have their albums t-shirts and other assorted items I haven't enjoyed the old cartoon of the Beatles that was made in the 60s but it wasn't long

before I found out there was a morbid secret to the cartoon I was at a local collector shop where they had a section about the Beatles I was looking for

some Beatles mugs and pins bought two Beatles mugs and four Beatles pins and I was just about to leave the section, something caught my eye. It was a videotape called The Lost Beatles Cartoon, or at least that's what I assumed. Being what was scribbled on it, with what appeared to be Black Sharpie,

I really wanted to get it so I told my destroying mother that I wanted to buy it. When we went to purchase the tape, the counterworker said I couldn't have it. He told me that it's watched it and had nightmares. I was surprised he could say that about the tape because it was just the Beatles. how can a cartoon about a band possibly be that scary that he said never mind you're just going to have nightmares anyway and gave me the tape

what never mind it's too late take it who gives a shit just take it kid you're fucked anyways I like the Beatles mm hmm look at these pins I got

yeah take it well I was walking away I thought I saw him folding his hands like he was praying for some odd reason I was starting to feel like something was wrong with the tape

really when I got home I immediately went downstairs to watch this mysterious video when the tape started to play something weird happened in the beginning do we try to do

is there photorealistic blood in the story um does you want to do a little bingo card yes I think it's gonna be hyper realistic eyes

Hyper a realistic eye. Okay. So are we calling that? I think I'll call those. And does one of the Beatles or do they all kill themselves? They're going to be dead. Are they already dead?

Or do you think is Paul going to shoot John? It's going to start as a normal one but then they're going to be like, it's going to cut to their eyes like black or ripped out. And then they're going to be, there's going to sound screaming

like they're all screaming and they're going to be dead. Yeah, yeah. And John will be like, I don't feel good or something like that. Yeah, I've got blisters on me fingers. Yeah. Definitely a scene like that.

Some loud noise. A fag, something like that. It was the sounds of someone screaming in complete agony. All right, well, immediately. There you go. That's another, that's a point for me. Which, while that was normal for the Beatles cartoon. Why was that normal for the Beatles cartoon?

Hold on. People usually scream in anguish at the Beatles cartoon. This is an actual cartoon, right? I don't know. Okay. Hold on. What happened? Okay.

Here's how the intro starts. no one's screaming we're not in yet okay that's the anguish okay that's that's got to be what they're talking about that's kind of a creepy intro a little bit yeah all right I see I see all right I'm tracking sounds with someone screaming

complete agony which while that was normal for the Beatles cartoon there's usually a title card accompanying it. I was scared until the title card, thankfully, faded in a few seconds later. The episode was called Because, and assumed it was referring to the Abbey Road Song, because. First scene faded in from black, but something was off. It was slightly different than the original style. It looked almost similar to the original, but looked darker, more detailed. Then, the episode showed all four Beatles in their trademark grotesque original designs.

John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Despite the past oddity, I relaxed hearing the trademark Paul Freese and Lance Percival, voicing the Fab Four. They were talking about some kind of a CD they found outside the recording studio and about listening to it.

This was strange, as CDs weren't invented until 1976. The show was produced in the late 60s. So, then the scene suddenly transitioned to the Beatles in their recording studio. Shot showed John casually putting the headphones on until the thing happened. John all of a sudden,

and just looked like he just blacked out. Then Paul Wordly asked. John, are you all right? Then the screen zoomed up to John, who had started drooling. All of a sudden, John's eyes turned into what I can only really describe my limited vocabulary

as LSD acid trip image, weird colors. After 10 seconds of John's acid-tripping face, something appeared. I grabbed the clicker and went backwards to see what it was. what I saw was a morbid, grotesque picture. It was a real photo of a man with the ventriloquist dummy.

The scary part of the picture was that the man with the dummy had no mouth. Instead, there was blood on his face where his mouth was supposed to be. The dummy had fire in his eyes and an insane smile. I had to choke back some vomit after watching it. It's just kind of funny. They always do that. Like, you remember Squidward's suicide where they keep throwing? rolling up over and over.

I was so, like I had to throw up. I was so grossed out. But all they described was there is a man with no mouth with a ventriloquist dummy. With a ventriloquist dummy. And his eyes were on fire. He's like, I'm going to hurl!

And an insane smile. Don't forget the insane smile. Of course. Then the screen went back to an equally as vomit-inducing sight. John's face. are you all right asked wringo sing's not believing seeing is killing john said in dull a dull monotone as though he was in some sort of trance john soon snapped back to reality oh there goes grabbing you shaking his head and replied yes yes i am what time is it george it's one thirteen george answered nonchalantly then the screen went black and blood started to rain down, but this blood looked

much more realistic than anything else that I had seen in any other episode. It looked so real that if I touched the screen, I would somehow get blood on my fingers. The blood rain soon disappeared in another scene soon faded in, showing the Beatles walking to a lake.

Grout of girls soon started chasing the guys for almost a minute, when all of a sudden a picture of a girl with no eyes. Ding, ding. Black eyes. Yep, with no eyes appeared on the screen. it was an actual black and white picture of a person with just her eye sockets dripping with blood she had no teeth and more blood was pouring out of the mouth

I jumped back on my couch after seeing it then the scream went to John's face and all of a sudden the screaming of the fans stopped and when all four of them turned around to check all of the fans were on the ground burning to a crisp Paul clearly petrified asked what happened so wait hold on

the screen cuts back and everyone's dead burning then the scene showed Ringo vomiting out red vomit with chunks of brown meat something caught my eye I paused and look closely at the vomit and there was the face of Hitler

laughter Jarvis free Jarvis pause enhance oh mine Fuhran. No.

Oh! Oh no. In the vomit. No. Not the vomit. There was a picture that word. Wait, pause that?

Rewind. Enhance. Enhance. Oh my God. I was somewhat shocked that a man who killed millions of people and soldiers was in a cartoon about the Beatles

Like I was like He still can't wrap his head around this week Like a curse name Why would they make this? Why do they give that guy free press? That's not very Beatles like Hitler? Bina mania was Nazi stuff I never do that

That's weird He did in the bomb the whole time just forget about it John Sharpley shouted back but what about our fans oh don't give a fuck they censored it in the story too

because they're 14 and their mom would get mad if they timed it out it's it's F star star K mom you can't get mad it's F star star K dude the next sentence I was shocked that this episode involves John St.

The F. Ford. But I decided to continue on. The next scene showed a building that was about to be demolished. The Beatles were walking down the street. I legitimately thought I was going to go to the Twin Towers right there. I was like, there's no way.

Okay. I wouldn't, dude, we'll see. We'll see. Hitler has been in throw up. Hitler and CDs have been brought in I like that was the first thing. It's like it goes from like, that's where the compact disc was paid until 76. And Amelia's like, Hitler. In the vomit.

The next scene showed a building that was about to be demolished. Beatles were walking down a street when a wrecking ball hit the building. When a wrecking ball hit the building. A piece of rubble went flying in the air. It was about to miss a person when John did something despicable. In typical John fashion, he proceeded to push the man back to where the piece of rubble was about to fall. In typical John fashion, he killed somebody. classic john in a second the piece of solid marble crushed the guy to death blood and brain matter

flew everywhere even though the brain matter and blood still look cartoonish it was still pretty horrible though it was drawn i was still kind of freaked out i was still really scared by all this a crowd of people quickly surrounded the scene and the scene zoomed up to john with an evil smirk on his face the next scene only showed just a black screen Only thing that could be heard was a gunshot. Then there was smoke that I assume represented the fired gun. Then the screen faded into a shot of the recording studio. The studio had no lights on, causing the screen to be too dark to make anything out.

But there was quiet mumbling and I listened closely to hear someone Dolly whispering. Then one light went on. There was a shadow outside the door. It was the form of John. It wasn't long until the light was reflecting to the sound manager in the recording booth. Dead. I quickly put two and two together

and figured that the man was shot by John, who had a gun, really. Who had a gun for whatever reason. The camera zoomed up to the ground outside the room. A model 1887 fell to the ground with blood splattered on it and with bits of smoke still coming out of the barrel. The next scene suddenly showed

Paul, George, and Ringo knocking on John's room door. Then Ringo proceeded to bust down the door with his trademark strong, sexy insect. What am I reading? Ringo proceeded to bust down the door with his trademark strong, sexy insect

flags. And there was a humongous safe than was the size of an SUV. What am I reading? There's no tell. I feel like I'm being waterboarded. I'm kind of just like. Please make it stop.

They didn't know what the combination was, but for some reason, it wasn't locked up all the way. They opened it up and they found out John's secret. He was a Satanist. There was a dead body of a woman on a pinagram drawn in her blood and her with her eyes gorged out. there were dead animals, a fan-made necronomicon, and goat skull on a pinagram.

That is fucking scary. I'm so scared right now. That is fucking freaky, man. Not the Beatles. Not John, no. In fear, George fell to the ground. Paul had to choke back vomit. Ringo ran over to the corpse and yelled out.

Genie! Mofiote, no! He then slumped to the ground, closing his eyes. Then Ringo started crying in a sad way. What? I honestly was like, he, he, he. And so I'm crying, he said, but he looked more sad, didn't he? Crying from Ringo.

Didn't it sound like normal cartoon crying. It sounded as real as day. and in shock I found out that the dead woman was Rico's fiancé Jenny what was his first clue oh yeah did he scream out my fiance

who's that woman who could that be who's a stranger I didn't know that Ringo had a fiance but I decided to continue on suddenly some distorted screams of a girl started to play in the background I started to suspect

that's supposed to be the screams of Jenny scream went black then the screen showed the view of the setting from John's legs. Screen immediately went to John's face that he had a mad expression in rapid moving mouth. He had red in his left iris.

His dick looked like his dick looked like it was ripped by a rabid raccoon. He had a noose around his neck. He was about to commit suicide. He shut his eyes and jumped. Hold on. I just want to say that this man was murdered

in real life. Yeah, this is a guy This is the guy that got shot Yeah This is a man who was actually murdered in real life In broad daylight And they're like His dick was ripped off by a rabid raccoon

And he hung himself I mean, you think about that Yeah, he's a fucking Satanist I like They're just like besmirching this man's name Yeah, wouldn't that be creepy Wouldn't that be creepy If you just did that?

The camera show John's feet still swinging the camera zoomed out to show John's lifeless body hanging on the small cliff on the lake that the Beatles were going to in the beginning of the episode the screen went black and Paul appeared in a sad expression then the screen went black again and then the scary part begins without warning

Paul's face appeared with hyper-realistic eyes three-for-three hyper-realistic eyes to the word yes let's go There was so many camera views of Paul's face Like a zoom out of him in the corner Then pictures appeared

I remember seeing a picture of a hand with a gun in it And the gun was pointed to a little boy's head But the gun was already fired Another picture flashed on the screen Of a garfish in the river The next picture was a bird Just a little wildlife picture in the middle of it Look at his head fucking exploding

And the next one just like Oh that's a cute fish That's a gold fish. It's a pretty cool little scene. Next picture was a burnt town. People were on the ground dead. Quickly, I discovered that the town was destroyed during an attack. It was destroyed because of the Vietnam War. How did he discover that in the middle of the picture?

The next picture was three undertakers with seven coffins with little children no younger than six. And behind the left undertaker was a coffin with a hand coming out of it. And the hand was moving. After more pictures, it chose Paul with the same expression. that he had before the scary slideshow. Then suddenly I heard a loud, booming voice of a low, low, quiet voice saying, Do it. Then a 1911 cult pistol appeared in Paul's hand.

He puts it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Realistic blood and brain matter went everywhere, like on the grass and the cliff. Then the camera zoomed up to the capsule of the bullet that shot Paul and the capsule said, Your life was already over, Paul. in a mysterious Russian accent. Yeah. Your life was already over.

Wait. The bullet says it. The camera zooms up, so it's written on there, but it's written in a Russian accent. Or is the bullet sane in a Russian accent? Your life was already overpull. That should be the backer.

Or no, it should be the small dog in the background. I was just to say it'd be funny if the whole time it was a bullet capsule that had that. Your life was already overhaul. In Russian. The next scene showed George on a cliff

from the same lake John committed suicide. He was about to commit suicide too. I thought he was going to jump off the cliff, but instead he pulled out a gun and shot himself. I'm surprised a lot of restraint to not say the specific model of gun as he has done twice. I like how the specific gun is extremely important.

What's funny about it is the way they ride it M-1911 and 1887 is the same way those guns are written in Call of Duty. Are they really? Yeah. No one says M-1911. just say 1911 unless you play cod zombies where it says in 1911 it's military terms you don't get it i love black off i love black off so much my dad's a he my dad's a truck driver

feels pretty irrelevant yeah i'm just saying he doesn't talk to me that he does he's on the road a lot he's not over a lot but instead he pulled out a gun and shot himself. Very anti-climactic. Yeah. Boring. Boring. I'm bored. At the end of the scene, the camera zoomed into the gun and the gun was the same one Paul used to commit suicide. And on the side,

it said, it takes two boards to kill two Beatles. It skewed me a little bit. It sends chills down my spine. I mean, guns can't talk. I mean, let's be real here Think about it I'll put up

Guys can't talk This is fucking straight Hitler Saden I can get behind Hitler's in the vomit All of a sudden guns are speaking This is freaky stuff

The way it's free I'm fucking horrible I mean Guns can't I mean for fuck sakes people Think about it Leading with you, dear reader. Just take a second to think about this.

This is creepy fucking stuff here. I challenge you, think of one instance in your life. I think of one time you've ever talked to a gun. Not even. Yeah, I'd probably no times. The next scene showed Ringo in the hospital, dying of an unknown disease. It gives Ringo cancer.

A little kid being like And Ringo has total aid cancer And his gun talks to him I mean, think about that. So now that he opened he's like, I'm 14, I think he aged himself up. Yeah. The author's like 10, 11.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It definitely feels like this is like a 12 year old. He's like, for sure. So trust me, I'm 14. Yeah. So you can respect what I have to say. My teacher said I'm at a 14 year old reading level. Yeah.

Yeah. He took the picture of him. and his fiance in the engagement ring he gave her and then he died then the scene faded while the ending music played after about a minute another shot faded in it appeared to be in a dark halt wait didn't didn't ringo actually die of a disease no ringo still life which one got stabbed in his house and then that had to be george then no i think or one then died of cancer george died of cancer yeah and then john lennon got shot yeah well the whole thing was ringo and The whole thing was George was like he was doing okay,

but then someone broke into his house and stabbed him one night in the lung. Oh, maybe. And it caused like super damaged lungs and then he died after. So they think maybe if that didn't happen, he could have recovered longer or whatever. So I thought for a second he was saying that like

and Ringo just died of cancer like in real life. Yeah. Then the scene faded while the ending music played. After about a minute, another shot faded in. It appeared to be in a dark hall. All I hear was screams, whistles, yelling and gunshots.

I soon found out that the hall was in a prison. The scary part was that every time the lamp swings in the hall, a black-hooded figure appeared. It wasn't long until I found out it was John with gray skin and red iris. For a brief second, I thought he resembled trademark webcomic character, Carcat Vontas. There's no way.

Trademark webcomic character? I am, I am immediately looking up who Carcat Vontas is, by the way. This is, like, in that one story where it's like, if you play Destiny, you would know. Hold on. Are you fucking kidding me? This is what Carcats Vantz is a Homestead character. Carcass Vantus looks like this. Dude, no, no.

Do you know Homestuck? No. That was a huge Tumblr series. where it's like everyone wrote their own characters and OCs and like it was this big fan fiction where they talked to each other that explains so much about what I'm reading right now Car Cat Vantes, huh? Dude, straight up, straight up this being written by like a homestuck person

makes so much sense. And that's also the author's depiction of like the devil. Like that's what the grim reaper looks like, big and scary. He shouted. I hope you enjoyed your life because my life is over, including my friends, all because

of me, John. Oh, because of me. John Lennon of the Beatles. The infamous John Lennon of Beatles from Liverpool. Imagine. Yeah.

Imagine all the carcass. right behind him you know you know our because I know those seven sisters like our audience there's some

some weird some weird people out there and I know a bunch of them were familiar with Homestuck when I said Gargat Vandes that had to be

like a sleeper cell Yeah exactly they're gonna like They're gonna try They're gonna try to fucking like kill somebody I grab a gun

Surge Must kill the prime minister Surge of women murderers across the United States. Click, click, click. Right behind him was a crowd of guards and prisoners. It seems that some of them had bullet holes in their heads and blood all over their bodies. In the crowd, I could make out several people in grotesque Beatles cartoon designs. John F. Kennedy.

Abraham Lincoln and Archduke France. Literally everyone who has been assassinated. to transfer Dan of Austria. Literally everyone who has been shot. Yep. By the way. What are the chances

that Mark David Chapman comes up? I... The guy that killed John Lennon. Or the chances. It has to. It has to, right? It has to. The really weird part

was that the prisoner that was right next to John was Mark David. you are inside his brain oh yes i hit three for three on the stereotype is this is this one of your stories that he wrote when you were younger no no okay because that was a pole no that was a bear trap and a half well i mean it's everyone getting assassinated and earlier when they were dying i'm like he's the guy that shot john yeah he has to be in here somewhere he has to sure enough

Oh, man. The really weird part was the prisoner next to John was Mark David Chapman. It scared me how the guy who killed the actual John Lennon was right behind the evil cartoon John. For 30 seconds, Mark David Chapman and the crowd of prisoners and guards started walking straight like if they were walking towards me. The more they kept walking, the more blood they seemed to got on themselves. then the episode finally ended I went backwards and kept rewinding the opening credits to believe how stupid I was to believe there could ever be a nice episode of the Beatles cartoon

it wasn't long until something caught my eye I look closely at the bottom of the word because and I paused to see that the episode was actually called the Beatles cartoon because of John they're dead I was about to take the tape out until the VCR caught on fire Oh Imagine

I immediately got my grieving mom Why was mom grieving? Well so I don't know if you remember earlier he said like yeah I convinced my like disheveled mom yeah to give me the date so it's like why is this woman so to mention that like his dad just died or something I don't know I maybe I got my grieving mom in a fire extinguisher we put out the fire and discovered that somehow the VCR was still okay because we put in more tapes in and they managed to work but the only thing that was destroyed

the fire was the tape and it was the tape that started the fire why would why do you need the PCR to work why write that at all my disappointed mother and I went back

to the collector what's with his mom I know this bitch is going through it though good Lord get this one some happy pills

for love of God maybe maybe the author is just so used to a disappointed mother doesn't know how else to ride her listen Bob

you're gonna be disappointed okay I disappointed mother And I went back to the collector's shop And brought the tape back The counterworker for the store asked What happened to the tape? It was set on fire when the tape ended

He roughly grabbed the tape out of my little hands And violently chucked it in the trash bin All I can say is Goodbye and see you later This was golden This was awesome this had this is exactly what i want what i wanted from every episode so they made a graphic they made a graphic for the episode but the words of john their dad

are just as large as because implying that he didn't even look at anything I love the innocence of, like, children writing. Something they perceive to be super scary. There's something so oddly wholesome and funny about just like, it's every benchmark of like, what's evil, Hitler, Satanist, assassination, it's all there. And then even had the photo-realistic eyes. I mean, come on.

Come on. That was a home run. That's an all-time. That has to be in the grades That is in the grades I don't know why I didn't hear about that one Because that one doesn't get talked about In any regard compared to like Sonic

Do you think just oversaturation? Also because you know It might come later And also it's probably because it's the fucking Beatles If this one came out in the 60s Maybe it would have got some breath Suicide was like the one That in like Mickey Mouse.A.I

Because everyone watched the names Yeah you have all the classic I know that character I like it Yeah the Beatles cartoon Do you think kids give a fuck about the Beatles in 2007? Yeah, right. Well, I know that story came out like a month ago. That would be awesome.

The Beatles. Hitler. All right. We got one more up here 12 years ago. This is another old. This has to be a golden era classic. It's called, does anyone know a good plumber? I did one.

I did one of those stupid rituals and now my shower's leaking and there's a faceless guy in my kitchen. The top. I don't, I've never heard of this one before. Okay. I just want to say that is a, that is a lengthy, lengthy, lengthy. title. The top comment is cringe. I just want to repeat the name. Does anyone

know a good plumber? I did one of those stupid rituals now my shower's leaking. There's a face this guy in my kitchen. Do you think that you're supposed to say that with like the Jim Halpert like Yeah, absolutely. 100%. Give us a read with that. Yeah, hit us with the Jim Halper read. Does anyone know a good plumber?

I did one of those stupid rituals and now my showers leaking. And there's a face of sky in my kitchen. That's what you're supposed to read. Absolutely. All right. Does anyone know a good plumber? I screwed up one of those stupid ritual things that everyone's doing,

and now my shower is leaking, and also there's some faceless guy in my kitchen. My landlord comes tomorrow, and he's going to kill me, especially because I also have a cat, and I'm not even supposed to have pets. It all started when I was drunk messaging a girl on Tinder, and she said that the only way we would meet up is if I did this weird ritual thing,

I summon a ghost or some shit. I think she called it Mea Culpah or something. Actually, her exact message was this. The decaying flesh will not rest. I am the alpha and the omega. I have seen the burning cities consume the earth. Or so's me with darkness.

Spiros me a cupa, me a cupa, me a cupra. Yeah, she was a weird chick. at least I think she was a girl I couldn't really see her face her picture was just a black background with two shiny dots

that kind of look like eyeballs you could sort of see some features but it looked like her face was gray and I couldn't really see her mouth but she had really good skin I was about to rally for a pizza face I just want to say this deal of a millennial cringe lord

trying to get some pussy is it's hooking me already this guy's kind of my hero right now honestly didn't really go fuck where her face looked like because she had clear clear skin and I like that a lot

yeah do you relate to this a millennial cringlord trying to get laid is that you that was kind of probably me back in the day I'd assume so well I'm more of a boomer

cringe lord what generation are you you're Gen X no you're millennial you're millennial are you I'm the beginning of X no you have to be the end

because like my mom's Gen X yeah how is your mom 59 I mean I'm 43 so you're not 43 I don't know what you are but if you tell me a number

it's not that number all right so anyway I weighed the pros and cons of spooky rituals versus trampoline booty as best I could on five shots of patron

I mean I'm an all star so I weighed the pros and cons of spooky rituals versus trampoline booty what is trampoline as best as I could on five shots of Patron is this guy my fucking spirit animal

did you write this I'm kind of fucking wish I did what what is trampoline and then hit him with the hit him with the next line here it was totally worth it my boy's clapping cheek what is trampoline does I mean you can bounce on it is that the information okay I see

I set my cell phone to 326 a.m but since my phone is a 2005 Motorola razor Can this, can this guy This might be the coolest fucking guy He's rocking a 2005 moral razor

And he's getting some pussy on the side Are you kidding? And he's like fucking five shots of patron This guy rules Holy shit That's awesome I got this story up with me like I shouldn't a scary dog pitch

of my four hands And now it's ending for you Yeah this is I'm so stoked But since my phone and 05 Motorola Razor that was dropped in the toilet several times. It went off at 4 a.m. Fuck!

I decided to go through with the ritual anyway. I was also supposed to have a friend during this thing, but my bestie recently got incarcerated for selling heroin on the corner of Patterson Park and Eastern Avenue. Shout out to my main man, Roscoe.

I'm not, I'm not even joking. You had a buddy name Rosscoe. No, no, this guy fucking rules. This guy, like this, I would, I would get fucked up with this guy so quick. The corner of Patterson Park in Eastern Avenue, that is some real shit, dude. That's sick. I'm glad this is such a, this is awesome. The home run for you.

I set up and turned off my alarm, but the moment I turned it off, I drunkenly passed out again. Woke up 20 minutes later and actually got out of bed this time, stumbling around the room in the dark, because apparently you're not supposed to turn on the lights because if you do, a ghost will pop out. Oh, I was supposed to find a... Oh, it sounds like he's playing the midnight game or like something similar. Like you light the candle.

Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, set the alarm for four. I was supposed to find a candle and light it, but my hangover just made me trip over one of the several candles I placed on my floor. Eventually, I gave up and flipped the lights on grabbing a candle from my desk.

Completely, completely disregarding what you just said earlier in this paragraph. Like he's like, ah, fuck it. He's the lights and grabs the candle. He's awesome, dude. This guy rules.

This would be. Also, getting drunk on Patron the night you're trying to get some ghost pussy is insane. I feel like in an alternate world where we didn't do YouTube if we still met, like I'd try to convince you to do like some creepy ritual thing and this would be. This would probably be it. Yeah. I squinted out my window to see that my ghetto Baltimore neighborhood looked like at 4.20 a.m.

The street was empty except for some rando wearing a black robe and a giant pointy black hat. He was staring up at me through the window. I couldn't really see his face. You know, Baltimore has gone to the dogs. First gang wars, now an updated KKK for God's sake. Has gone to the fucking dogs He's such a clutch line

He seems like the devil And like a clance was robed He's like what will they think of next God damn The birds have gone to the dogs I let the candle And looked at my phone I was supposed to knock on my bedroom door

66 times The 66th knock Timed on the 406 But since I had screwed Everything else up I just did a shaven haircut knock and then walked into my hallway. What's a shave and a haircut knock? I mean, I don't fucking know.

I bet you anything there is, that's not even a reference to anything. Just came up. That said, just be like, yeah, that's why I call it. With the old shaving and haircut. So I was like, huh? He's like, anyways. My bedroom door is opposite the stairs. And looking down the dark stairwell was pretty spooky.

I thought I saw something move on one of the lower steps. For the next step, I was supposed to close my eyes and walk forward while chanting mea culpa mea coppa mea coppa which is italian for my culpa which is probably some kind of shitty italian car try to close my eyes and walk forward while talking about italian cars but my cat fish sticks ran under my feet and i ended up tripping over him and falling down the flight of stairs he tripped over his cats whose name is fish sticks and he just rolled also to completely unfazed he's like i think i'll see something moving down there mea colpa be a culpah.

He'd go, oh, he'd fall down. At some point, the stupid candle went out as I flailed down the stairs, but I was too concussed here. I rolled up

from the ground, groaning, and decided that I would just continue to go through the motions, which meant hiding in a closet and waiting for the ghost to play hide and seek with me. I chose the kitchen pantry,

because I had some open potato chips in there, so I made my way back. As I stumbled, I heard several soft whispers behind me. I spun around hoping that I was right about fish sticks knowing how to talk, but there was no one there. Except for the figure standing in the door. I stopped, blinked, and it was gone. I really needed to lay off the patron.

As I honed in on the closet, the alcohol and concussion finally caught up with me, and I stumbled to a stop, doubling over and vomiting watery patron all over the kitchen floor. Fuck! My ass was landlord grass. The hellish combination of alcohol, concussion, post-bomit, and aluminum eviction notice caused my emotions to go haywire and I unleashed a violent sob, mucus and tears riveting down my face. I heard a noise outside the kitchen.

My eyes fell on the kitchen window, and I spied that stupid gang member slash KKK. a dude in my backyard still staring at me. I must have looked like an idiot, weeping in front of my kitchen pantry. Too ashamed to confront him, I just crawled into the pantry and shut the door. It was so cold in there, it damn froze my man titty's off.

My air conditioner was probably broken. I definitely needed to call the landlord, but that would mean sedating fish sticks and stuffing him in a suitcase under my bed. At this point, I realized that I needed to reevaluate, my life. Maybe I shouldn't drink as much. Maybe I should get fish sticks to a good home. Maybe

I should find women with intellect and poise. Maybe I should move out of my shit neighborhood where KKK people run around at 4 a.m. After going through an entire existential crisis in my pantry, I decided to say, screw it, and end the stupid ritual. That tender

girl wasn't even that hot anyway. And besides, I still had like 70 more ritual things to complete, which included lighting eight more candle stabbing a Japanese doll and spinning around in a circle while screaming You're it! You're it! This was all supposed to culminate

me going to my basement, setting in front of a mirror and looking into the mirror, but not actually looking into it, which made absolutely no sense. That's a different one. I can't remember which one. He's just doing all the ones. As I got to open the pantry door, I heard a low

moan coming from behind the door. I froze. I pray to God it wasn't my landlord. cracked open the door to see the gang member slash KKK guys standing in the kitchen staring at me. Finally got a good look at him. He definitely didn't have a face. Just checklist guys. No face for sure. I guess getting your face taken away is part of a gang ritual now. He didn't react to my presence. He just stared. I didn't know how the hell to deal with gang members or faceless KKK members, so I just stare back. We did this for about five minutes before I

slowly inched out of the kitchen and back upstairs. He turned to watch me as I went, but didn't move. So after that, I went up to my bathroom to take a shower, and now my shower head is leaking, which I blame on the stupid ritual. So if you know any good plumbers in the Baltimore area, I would really appreciate it. That was enjoyable.

That was good. That was a fun one to end on. The top comment that says cringe has no life. Does it know excellence when he sees it? it for like a comedy creepy pasta thing i'll take that any day of the week they actually so they posted a few so the author's name of that last one was narrative of the life and they post in our slash no sleep a lot one of them's called does anyone know where to buy a mermaid frappuccino so i imagine this is a recurring yeah i like that recurring that's cool out of all these like little classics i

what a fun what a fun day of reads what a fucking on it's like a fever dream so like that last one was good that last one was good but the beetles Yeah, that was that was an earnest like that I love a nice youthful earnest like try of trying to scare somebody is beautiful love an all time. Very good. Very good. Loved it. Uh, definitely the Beatles one is my favorite too. Guys, thank you so much if you're listening on audio platforms right now like Spotify, Apple Podcast. We appreciate you. Thanks for giving us a nice little rating there too. It does help us out. Thank you to all our beautiful patrons and consider buying some merch or don't. Actually, don't do it. The links right there. Don't even click it. I don't want you to don't do it but until then we will see you next time by merch if Hunter left me in the airport

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. ... ... I don't know.