Creepy - A Walk in the Woods

Episode Date: January 8, 2024

Written by: Joseph Yenkavitch***Bonus episode: "The Happiest Place on Earth" Written by: No One Of Consequence and Narrated by: Jimmy Ferrer***Find and subscribe to Observable Radio at https://www.observableradio.com/***Sound design by: Pacific Obadiah***Title music by: Alex Aldea Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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These stories may contain graphic depictions of violence and explicit language. Listener discretion is advised. Creepy Presents A Walk in the Woods Written by Joseph Yenkovick. The entire day had been perfect. this time a year between summer and fall made hiking through unknown territory the epitome of living after being dropped off i headed up a small trail that i knew i'd depart from quickly spent a nice day

and camped out time to be alone record some of nature and well get lost that's why when i first saw the cabin after fording a small stream late to second day i was both intrigued and and annoyed. Intrigued because I never expected to find any human habitation this far out in the wilderness. Annoyed because I didn't want to find anything associated with society. Don't get me wrong. I like people and all the things civilization affords, but I also like to get away from it. Even as a kid, I tried to get lost, find myself someplace I'd never been, and I always felt let down when I come across a house, a road, or even a discarded appliance. But there it was.

So I waved my way through a thick patch of trees and bushes and approach the building. No one seemed to be around. No road led to the cabin, thank God, just the semblance of a path near an adjacent pond. Whoever used this place at least love nature enough to hike here rather than jam a road this far. and walked a goodly distance to get here. I figured I'd look around. The place looked in good condition, but it obviously had been built nearly a century ago.

Patches and moss covered the roof, weeds crawled up the side of the building, and debris had blown onto the porch. But that was all. I wondered if someone had discovered the place and was using it. I called out just in case, heard no reply, so I climbed the porch, shoving aside branches,

and a dead squirrel. The windows were a bit streaked, and I couldn't make out anything or anyone inside. I knocked and, reflexively, tried the door handle. To my surprise, the door opened. Standing there, obviously an intruder, I called out again. Nothing.

I certainly didn't want a trespass, but poked my head inside in case no one heard me. It felt colder than the late summer air outside. Most of the space was a living room slash dining area fronted by a large fireplace. Off the living room were two bedrooms in a kitchen. A laptop screen sat on the dining table. If anyone was around, they'd have heard me. Nothing seemed out of place.

The occupants had to be hiking or something. Leaving a door unlocked out here wasn't much of a security problem. Before leaving, I decided to refill my thermos with what I hoped was spring water from the tap. I was sure the owners wouldn't begrudge me that. As I did, I caught an unpleasant smell, rotten food or rotting something. I glanced around and down at the dishes piled in the sink. Perhaps they were the cause, but the dishes weren't that dirty. I turned to the refrigerator run, I assumed, by a generator.

I opened the fridge door and saw my answer. A few rotting sandwiches, mold-covered meat and milk, most likely dry milk mixed with water, the consistency of sludge. The interior was warm. Funny, but this discovery changed the atmosphere of the place. The rotting food sat there and, unfinished story. Although I envisioned people once puttering around inside, the emptiness became stronger, as though a spirit of loss lingered in the atmosphere. It takes a little time for food to go bad.

So if they were out on a camping trip for a few days, why leave food and dishes around like that? Obviously, the generator died. Why even leave it on if they were going to be gone for a while? And any thoughts of people packing up and leaving their little getaway for home dissolved? Never mind the dishes in the sink. What about the pillows on the couch and disarray? Flowers wilted on the end table. The door and the laptop. Maybe it's just me, but I'd clean up a bit, so when I came back, things would be in good order.

I placed my backpack and sleeping gear on the dining table next to the computer and decided to inspect the place more carefully. The first thing I saw in the bookshelf was a picture of who I assumed were the two owners taken in front of the cabin. Nice looking couple in their mid-forties. Both were holding a sign that said, our getaway. The date was only a year ago. In the bedroom, the bed hadn't been made. Tentatively, I pulled back the sheet and comfort her not sure if I'd find a family of vermin living there.

Nothing. The pillow still had the indentation of a resting head. In the closet, it was a neat row of clothes, men's and women. Shoes were lined up on the floor. Outside the closet, I saw a mug cake sneaker, as though tossed aside. I examined it more closely. It seemed odd. One sneaker in the middle of the floor?

No companion? I left it and moved to the other bedroom where I found a few jackets. Back in the living room, I sat at the table tapping a coffee cup I'd originally ignored taking in the scene. No longer did the rustic interior have a pleasant feel. My attention went back to all the discord and notes all over the place, and now this half-filled cup. The temptation to leave rose.

I mean, maybe the people here were slobs and we're out hiking and would be back soon. They wouldn't appreciate me sitting here. So, why didn't I think so? Easy enough. I thought of the milk. You'd notice that, especially when leaving. Whatever happened, it wasn't that long ago. The outside world hadn't taken over the inside yet.

I was quite confident no one was coming back. and if they did, I could easily tell them I was worried something had happened to him. I elected to stay the night if only to either see them or be able to pass on what I found to others. I considered the laptop, but figured there would be a password, and, well, that would really be getting personal. Staying meant I needed a fire. I'd noticed a small wood pile on the side of the cabin, stepping outside, tomb-like

Quiet gave way to an equally soundless nature. Leaves hung listless. No birds chirped. The air was cooler. I balanced logs and smaller pieces of wood in my arms. The clunking only sounds. And went back inside. Quickly, I had a fire going.

Fireplaces don't exactly do a good job of heating, but this threw out enough warmth to take the chill out. I pulled out some carefully packaged food for my backpack along with water. The kitchen stove could have been fired up, but I was happy enough with something cold. I sat down and nibbled a few bites. The sun, setting behind a mountain to the west, began throwing the cabin into darkness.

I saw a Coleman lamp next to the couch and lit it. Soft glow took away some of the gloom infecting the place. While there was still a bit of light, I decided to quick look around outside might be an order. Snatching up a bit of my meal, I headed out the door. A stiff breeze had come up. Walking to the pond's edge, I stared across the water at the trees on the other side, tops still lit by the sun.

I welcomed the plop of a fish heading sound of the landscape. The uneasiness I felt didn't completely leave. I had the awful feeling the people who occupied the cabin were out. there somewhere in what condition i didn't know i may have originally wanted to get lost in nature but that goal had fled i now wanted to remain here a while i figured i owed it to the former occupants i scratched former from my thoughts i didn't want to think of it that way dark shadows formed in the receding light another fish plopped accompanied by the wispy noise of breezes playing through the branches and early season dying leaves.

The creeping darkness near the cabin allowed only the reflection off white branches. They blinked out and came back as though something had walked in front of them. I tensed then squalled myself, muttering this isn't darkest Africa. There are animals out here and they roam at night. Nothing new. I've been letting the little mystery of the occupants blow up into something more than it should be. Nonetheless, a single light I'd left burning in the cabin looked inviting. I hurried back.

As I opened the door, two small animals dashed out of the woods past the porch steps. Behind them I heard the jumble of foliage diminishing as though something was retreating into the forest. An odd smell wafted into me. I quickly slipped inside and shut the door. I snatched up a piece of food and slowly chewed. staring out the window. Only a sliver, a dying light with the sky. I checked outside the window at the back of the cabin,

the faint light from the coalman spilling out, dying in the gloom, and listened. Only quiet. I slumped on the couch. The room now had a deadening effect on me. Even the fire seemed to burn cold. The ambiance you'd normally feel of nature, relaxation and letting go of the outside world, was replaced by a stifling atmosphere.

Papers strewn to a table, a half-open cabinet door revealing bottles of liquor, the open curtains, the laptop. All of it spoke of people who shouldn't be missing. I hadn't planned on being too intrusive, but I needed to know more about these people. My original cursory look around wasn't enough. I needed to look everywhere. Still a bit uneasy being in someone else's place, I nonetheless began rummaging around. Whoever these people were, they didn't collect much stuff.

They were readers, though. Plenty of books. Mostly nature's stuff, but also a lot of folklore. The folklore books were new as though they'd just gotten interested in the subject. Three with shape-shifters in the title. The kitchen offered little except the usual cookware, canned goods, spices, and cereal boxes. Drowers were filled with tableware and other utensils, all neat and well-ordered. Bedroom and table drawers help magazines, pens, and paper, and a few condoms.

Back in the living room, I again checked the books in the small bookcase figuring maybe something personal have been included. Only books neatly arranged alphabetically. I looked back at the laptop. My reluctance to intrude began to crumble. Going over, I studied the keyboard and then cautiously tapped the power button. The screen whitened and a screensaver picture appeared. Some place out west. Nothing asked for a password.

Pulling out a chair, I sat down and hit return. icons dribbled across the screen. Usual stuff. Nothing I could see that was personal. One, however, caught my eye. It read cameras. I moved the cursor over it and tapped return. A list of camera icons popped up.

Each had a title. On a tree near stream about a mile, downstream quarter mile in tree, quarter mile further on rock, in woods 50 feet from river, 30 feet from cabin, west side of pond. I'm not terribly computer savvy, but obviously these people had rigged up cameras around the area and I punched the first one. Yes, they picked up what's going on around those areas. The one I brought up showed a stream meandering past the clearing surrounded by trees.

The trees were noticeably light. The streamed dark. The cameras obviously had infrared capabilities. At first, I thought it was a still picture taken a while ago. But suddenly a raccoon trundled into view. Damn cameras were still on. I tried the other icons. same result.

Amazing, but that exuberance faded quickly. No doubt something had happened to these people and no amount to rationalizing was going to change that. If they were out there, I'd be looking at them right now. I reached over and nibbled a piece of food, tasting nothing, washing it down with water, thinking, staring at the image, Two people, attuned to nature, certainly wouldn't be wandering around in the dark.

Something happening to them both seemed highly unlikely. Yet, there was. They weren't here, so I flick through the cameras again studying each location. Not much seemed to be happening around here tonight. Everything looked weird anyway in infrared. A few animals that moved by at eyes that were sharp pinpricks alight. Then I saw it. On the camera, 50 feet from the stream.

I wasn't sure at first, and damned if I knew how to zoom in. A small bush partially covered something different. Then a strong breeze blew through and bent the bush away. And there it was, lit by moonlight. A sneaker. Hard to tell, but it seemed to wedge near a rock. I rushed into the bedroom and grabbed the solitary sneaker. At the computer, I held it up to the screen.

No doubt. The companion to this one. I slumped back. Scenarios popped up, but it took very little time to settle on one. Someone, most likely running, had lost a sneaker, but didn't go back to retrieve it. Who doesn't do that? Someone's scared. That's who.

Of what? stared at the sneaker. Was she out at night or during the day? Whatever she saw must have been recorded, but I didn't see anything else to hit and didn't want to do something that would lose me what I had. My computer skills revolved mostly around emails and looking things up. My finger is moving on the keyboard involuntarily hit the right side of the pad that move the cursor. A long screen popped up with a list of things you can do. The word previously

immediately caught my eye. I wasn't sure if I should hit it. I did. More camera icons, but with different dates. I started with the first one and got lots of nature and plenty of little critters. Some daytime, some nighttime. After viewing these earlier dates and seeing little of any importance. I jumped to later dates. Two weeks ago. I punched the icon for the farthest stream cam, letting it run for a while. Nothing.

Not even a bird or a rodent entered the infrared scene. Then the scene shuddered. As though something struck the tree or the camera. I keep watching, trying to get a glimpse of whatever caused it. The image shook one more time, then stopped. The same deadening image remained. A world washed out in infrared. Even the water in the stream barely showed a ripple.

I hoped I'd get to finally view something special. A mountain lion or bear. Even better, these people. But nothing walked in front of the camera. Suddenly, everything spun around flashing pieces of terrain, the black night sky, the ground, and trees. It came to a halt. The image now at ground level pointing at bushes. Briefly, something dark, oddly shaped, moved in the shadows, impossible to make out. Then nothing. Just this ground-skimming view of foliage. I lean back. Immediately I thought of the

lone sneaker. Had the woman gone out to fix the broken camera, saw something, and rushed back? Hubby, it seems, didn't seem to be helping much. Maybe she was the tech wizard. But something kept gnawing at me, and I felt like making a drink as I thought things out. I went to the cabinet, pulled out a bottle of scotch, and poured two fingers into one of the glasses near. I sat back down. The single malt still went down sharp. That jolted an answer out of me. All this theorizing about what these people were doing was all well and good. But one question remained.

Why aren't they here? Here's a couple who records nature. A woman who goes out to fix cameras and loses a sneaker rushing back. For God knows what reason. And then they leave an unkempt place without their equipment and clothes. Maybe they got out as fast as possible, but that made zero sense. The gnawing continued. I couldn't believe they were afraid of bears or a lion.

Everything else out there came under the heading of cute. You don't build a place like this in the middle of nowhere and be terrified at the fauna. I got up and went to the bookshelf and studied the picture of the couple. I was so engrossed in their fate. I wanted to give them name. As I lifted the photo, a card slipped out from the back. I picked it up and had one item cleared up. I read simply, Brad, my beloved husband and friend.

Lost, I haven't given up hope. Lori. Okay, Brad wasn't derelict, just lost. Presumably out here. But it could be out at sea. see for all I know. But let's say it's around here. She comes back to look for him, maybe multiple times, maybe just to relive what they had.

Fine. So where is she? Not back home in some colonial, I'm sure. No. Whatever happened, happened here. There had to be an answer in the cast. I went through every nook and cranny again, flipped through the pages of the book, read every scrap of paper I could find, look for telltale signs of a struggle, and saw nothing.

I ran out of places to look. Defeated, I poured myself another scotch. Again, it went down sharp, but again, it jolted a new idea out of me. The computer. She may have taken notes about her search, and perhaps events surrounding her husband's disappearance. Among the icons, one said appropriately, notes. I opened it, blank. I found word and scrolled through things she'd written.

One read, Mountain Mystery. I opened it. This lady obviously didn't care much about security. Now I had another answer. They weren't out here just to record animal movement. They were trying to solve the mystery as some piece of folklore, or at least give a plausible answer. It looked like things didn't go too well for them doing this. Again, the sneaker.

Lori must have been fixing the broken camera and saw something. Couldn't get back to the cabin fast enough. High-priced sneaker be damned. Something was out there, at least to her. But the gnawing started again. Something wasn't adding up about the cabin. An attack here would have left the place more torn up, not to mention blood. I went back and forth again between Word and the camera icons.

One thing was clear. Whatever happened to her happened after the incident. sit in the forest. If nothing happened inside the cabin, then she must have gone back outside. More gnawing at the back of my mind. I gazed out the window. Moonlight slivered the landscape.

Any other time it would have been beautiful. But now the deep shadows overcame the soft light on leaves, branches, and pond. The dark shapes were like by tumorous eyes all intent on the cabin. I staggered backwards as though the night in which I'd spent so many times camping and become an enemy. I wanted to light more lamps, candles, anything as a defense of it invading.

The forest surrounding me seemed undecipherable as though I'd never been in one. I felt one thing for certain, however. Lori would have felt the cabin offered the most security, leaving only one conclusion. She'd let something in. That was the last thing I could be sure of. A ding shattered the quiet. I stiffened until I realized it came from the computer. The screen it brightened.

From across the room I could see an image sent by the furthest camera. The computer must have been programmed to alert people a possible movement, probably strong movement at the site. I went over and studied the screen. A raccoon had lumbered into view. I leaned closer for a better look. The raccoon stopped and stiffened, gazing towards the camera. I jerked backwards.

A large amorphous shape. The opakness quivering like something breathing. Blotted out most of the scene then moved off. Momentarily the raccoon remained rigid, then its muscle. The vessel is unwinding, sauntered toward where the shape had gone, seemingly beguiled by something it saw. The screen partially darkened again, and the raccoon slump backward, frightened by what it saw, body coiling ready to run.

The screen went completely dark for a moment, and when it slid away, the raccoon lay death, disembowled, shredded. kept staring. I thought at the other cameras. I stood in front of the screen, hands clenched. The computer dinged again. The screen lit up showing the next camera in the series. Same washed out view.

Fully had shivered and within its darkness I saw pinpricks of light. Eyes, it seemed, picking up moonlight. Immediately the misshapen darkness lunged past the camera. too fast to catch a glimpse of any specific shape, then nothing. Only the soundless world of fluttering leaves and glimpses of stars behind them. I rushed over and locked the front door while staring out the side window. Another ding. I stood immobilized, afraid to look, and kept watching the deep night beyond the porch.

I had no illusions about how things would go. Whatever the creature, it was approaching camera by camera, as though on a path it understood. I waited, my hand squeezing the doorknop, anticipating the next ding, and then the next, the next one did come. I glanced over. The screen filled with movement, only now I caught a vague head shape with hair like peaks of coal, eyes, slits of yellow, flashes of white below. The creature dashed out of sight quickly. I knew the next camera wasn't far from this one,

but there was no ding. Everything was happening faster. I don't like guns, but would have liked one now. I ran into the kitchen and looked for a weapon, a knife, a hammer, anything. All I found were steak knives that might penetrate a few inches. Fine, I'd slash as best I could. I ran to the Coleman lamp and turned it off. Only the low fire cast a ruddy glow on the room.

The window beside the door was a long rectangle of moonlight, bugs lightly tapping the glass. All that mattered was at one view. The knife felt greasy in my hand. I hunkered down behind the couch. I heard a scrape on the street. stairs leading up to the porch. A small cry slipped from my lips.

Why hadn't I added a chair under the door? Slow it down. Maybe you would give up and go away. Maybe just sniff around and hopefully not pick up the odor of my sweat. What if I'm imagining things and this is all just nature I've lived with? Nice try. Steak knife began feeling as unsubstantial as a butter knife. Brush scraped on the porch, bumping against the window.

Nothing moved into view. Heavy footsteps. More like something dragging and then quiet. I listened intently and heard nothing. Had it moved away? Again movement. But this time a lighter sound. More of the footsteps, something small.

I crouched low hearing something brush against the door. than the turning of the handle. It stopped, then started again. I peeked around the edge of the couch and gasped. A face pressed against the window. Not large, but still seemed to fill it. I dropped a knife and quickly glanced at the bookshelf. I couldn't make out anything but had no trouble making the comparison.

I stood. The face in the window solely moved out of sight. I walked forward, my heart beating, tears welling in my eyes. I went to the door and quickly fumbled with a lock, pulling the door open. I said something incoherent as I stared at Laurie's face, peering behind her. Placidly, she gazed back as I vigorously pulled her inside, practically screaming, hurry for God's sake, hurry inside, and slam the door. I rushed to the bookshelf and grabbed the photo.

Even in the dim light, I could tell this was her. I'm so sorry, I blurted it out. I thought you were gone. Dad hurt. I don't know. Lowy didn't say anything. She stood silhouetted against the window, then moved into the room. She stopped near the couch.

I haven't taken anything, I went on. Did you see anything outside? She remained quiet. I had an uneasy feeling watching her standing in the dark like someone who was been here for the first time. There was an odor, something I vaguely remembered. Where had she been? What had this poor woman been through to leave her in this bewildered condition?

Where had she been? She stood there, but now I could make out a slight shuddering along her body. Perhaps being out there chilled her, getting wet and drying off could do that. But as I studied her, something now seemed off near her shoulders. Oh, at a place. We'll get you help, I said, and went to the Coleman lamp and turned it on. She continued to stare. Before placing the photo on the bookshelf, I looked at it again, more to satisfy myself.

This was really her. As I did, I glanced at the books. And my gaze fell on three of them. At first, I didn't understand why they sucked in all my attention. I heard an odd noise behind me. A grunt and tearing and cracking. Then the scrape is something on the floor, something sharp. I could hear deep breathing.

No need to turn. The three books about shape-shifter is made their incredible. point. Disbelief quickly died. I remembered the raccoon. Of course. Lorry had let someone in. She'd gladly let Brad return to her, then followed him outside, happily together again. No mess inside. Any blood washed away with summer rains. I could hear something shuffling behind me. I still didn't turn even when I could feel the hot breath blowing on my neck. I understood. This time, it came to me as Lori.

I wonder to whom I'll come. I spun around and had only a second to see burning yellow eyes. And a misshapen mouth packed with needle teeth, inches from my face. For your bonus episode, Creepy Presents, The Happiest Place on Earth, written by known of consequence, and narrated by Jimmy Ferrer. I always thought that calling it the happiest place in the world

was a good marketing gimmick. But how can any place live up to such a high standard? There are kids everywhere, and pairs let them run, wild. Oh, and the parents were strollers. Fucking forget about it. We've been in the park for an hour and I've already gotten my foot run over three times by those damn things. How did I let myself get talked into this? My wife, Kaylee, has wanted to come here for ages. She was last here when she was seven, and has dreamed of coming back as an adult nearly the whole time I was.

I've known her. The weird thing is, Kaylee doesn't do rides. She's literally here for the ambiance and shopping. Being a blue-collar worker like I am, it has taken years to save up for this vacation. The idea of spending all that money on the trip has always baffled me. But as the saying goes, happy wife, happy life. Unlike her, though, I do go on rides. I've been to theme parks before and have known the lightning lanes are a thing.

However, this trip has introduced me to two new kinds of lines. For the two most heavily trafficked rides in this park, they created something called a virtual queue. What you do is you download an app, link your ticket to the account, and sign up for a spot in the line. The other new type of line is called a single rider line. From what I've seen so far, this is even better than a lightning lane path. If you go on the rides alone, or don't mind getting separated from your party, this is the route to go. When people come to a park like this, they're rarely traveling alone. I've already hit one of the oldest and most well-known indoor and roller coasters twice.

Not every ride has this line, but the ones that do are awesome. I get to completely bypass the regular line, and so far, there's only been a handful of people in front of me each time. The other thing about a single rider lane is that you miss out on all the interesting things the park has put in place for those waiting to look at. Lines here can get upwards of an hour long on the weekends, and they put in all kinds of things to occupy your time while you slowly make your way to the ride. Flipside is you kind of get a peek behind the proverbial curtain. The path is more straightforward with less twists and turns,

but I've noticed there are a lot more doors down these corridors. I got to see employees coming and going from the areas that most people don't know exist. Sort of ruins the magic of the kingdom. But I'm disillusioned enough for it not to matter. I hadn't realized it when we were looking into the parks to create my must-ride list. But a lot of roller coasters are indoors. I'm used to having the bright sun in my eyes and seeing where the ride calls. car is going. When you're indoors with very little light, there's no telling where the next

twist and turns are. Oh, and the drops, my God, are those unexpected and fucking awesome. Another thing Kaylee insisted on buying was the photo pass that covers all four parks. Staff photographers are littered all over the parks, but this also includes the right pictures. I've personally never cared about that. Thinking of it is just one more thing I don't need to waste my money on. With the photo pass, I don't hesitate to attach the Rye picks to our digital account. We're rarely going to have a vacation like this, so why not take advantage of it? Those are my wife's words, by the way.

And at this point, I'm beyond fighting with her. Another thing I've noticed that stands out is the staff. In an environment where you could get fired for not being nice and cordial, it makes sense that there'd be some fake smiles. However, that's not what I've been picking up on. These people seem genuinely happy to see each and every person that they interact with. It's a nice change of pace from the typical real-world behaviors of normal people. But I do find it odd.

The photographers have a lot of fun with the patrons, but they seem to have an awful lot of energy. Kaylee was the one to point this out, and my response was to claim the company supplies them with amphetamines. I got lightly punched in the arm for that one. My fourth ride of the day comes at the third hour in the park. I make my way to the entrance and see a kid that might be 13 separate from his dad and younger brother, heading through the single rider line instead of going through the slower one with them. I wasn't really paying attention, but I gleamed enough to know the kid hadn't snuck away, but was given permission to go alone.

The only reason I took notice of this is because it happens right in front of me as I'm walking up. Well, that and the t-shirt that the kid is wearing. He's not old enough to have a concert shirt like that, but it was one of my favorite bands when I was in high school. I have that same shirt. The kid takes off running. I admit to walking a little on the fast side and my excitement for another new ride, but I lost sight of him quickly,

going straight past all the winding lanes of the regular line, enter a doorway and travel down a dimly lit hallway. This ride is more geared towards a futuristic style, and the lights are near blacklight quality. And after a while I come to a corner, and as I turn, a door just ahead closes. I don't see anyone, but there's a door that says employees only. After a few more twists and turns, I come out of the hallway into a larger room, where my path runs parallel with the standard line. My side is still clear, and I speedwalk past near 100 people.

waiting. When I finally get to the end of the line, there's only six people ahead of me. I occupy my time with looking at the elaborate setup that they've created for this sci-fi ride and watch those people are loaded into the cars. When there's an odd number of people in a group, the attendant will take someone from the single rider line and fill the gap. Unless it's early morning and not many people have arrived yet, there are no empty seats on the rides. I'm next in line. I'm next in line. line and I'm trying my damnedest to hide my excitement under a stoic facade. When something occurs to me, the kid hadn't been in front of me in this small line, nor had he been one of the six people before.

I start to look back in the line to see if he joined his father and brother. But the attendant gets my attention. She tells me to go to the front row, and I give a big shit-eating grin as I rush to the front. It's really hard to get up front from a single rider line. But this is my second time, and I'm fucking ecstatic. When I make my way out of the ride down the ramp, I see my wife sitting in a shady spot. There's a woman near her, and I see two park employees escorting her to an area under the ride for employees only. I ask if Kaylee knows what that's about.

She says she's not sure. She did overhear something about the woman's eldest son displaying some inappropriate behavior. And I know what that means. Kaylee warned me about this, about a hundred times in the months leading up to the trip. If you behave inappropriately even once and are caught, you and your entire party will be escorted off the property for the day. I'm assuming this means overuse of foul language, belligerent behavior, or screwing with the staff, especially the ones dressed up as characters. I knew there used to be a lot of people fucking with the characters.

And the park has cracked down on that in the last handful of years. If she's the mother of the kid that had been in front of me in that line, what could he have possibly done in the short time he'd been out of my sight? I don't know these people. And I fully believe that kids are self-centered psychopaths that haven't learned to behave in a polite society. So I let it go. This just means there's a few less people in the park.

There's already a shit ton of them as is. Especially for a Monday. Seriously, I knew people come here from all over the world, but I didn't think there'd be this many people on a Monday. Specifically, the kids. Don't they have school today? 11 o'clock rolls around and Kaylee decides that she's in the need of a snack. We stop at the stand and I get her a pretzel with cheese and a lemonade.

Me, on the other hand, I order myself a beer. Yes, it's early. But I'm on vacation and don't have a car to drive in this state. We use the resort transportation to travel between parks. It's probably the only time Kaylee won't give me the evil eye for drinking this early. But if I do too much, she will say something. I don't plan on drinking excessively. Probably won't have another for a while.

It's too hot anyway. And I get a bottle of water for after I'm finished. Besides, the beer will help me deal with all the kids and strollers around this place. When it gets past noon, Galey suggests we pick a restaurant for something more substantial than a pretzel. We end up settling on a place that has an old-school drive-in theme. We get seated in the back of a pink Cadillac convertible in order a cheeseburger. My doctor says I need to pick better food choices because my cholesterol and creatinine levels are a little high.

Kaley is good about keeping me on this unpleasant diet. But since we're on vacation, she doesn't say anything. Once we get back home, it's back to chicken breast and turkey. If I go hunting this season in bag of deer, then it'll be venison for however long. that'll last. I didn't realize just how good a meat option it was until the doctor suggested it. The room is dark for a restaurant, but there are little lights in the cars that let you see what you're doing. A large screen is showing classic cartoons and sci-fi newsreels about aliens from the 40s and 50s. We're having a pleasant time in the air conditioning until the couple in the front seat calls over the waiter.

I've never worked in a restaurant simply because the patrons can be incredibly rude and belligerent when even the slightest thing goes wrong. That's what ends up happening right in front of us. The man ordered a barbecue cheeseburger, which is a standard cheeseburger, but they put barbecued pulled pork on top of it. Apparently, when it was brought out, the man picked it up only to find the entire thing is swimming in a pool of grease. Now, I don't blame him for being unhappy with the burger, but this guy is outright cursing the waiter out, as if it's his fault. His outburst is catching the attention of the people in the surrounding cars because he's being so loud. I would never treat a waiter like that. And I think bad things should happen to people that do.

The wife isn't any better, demanding not only a complete refund but full vouchers for an even better restaurant. Runt. Feeling sorry for the poor waiter, I look at him as he tries to talk the two of them down. His smile doesn't even falter a little, nor does the sound of his voice sound the least bit strained. He's just as polite, cordial and chipper as every other park employee I've seen. That is amazing. Considering the level of asshole these two are being. Finally, the manager comes over and apologizes profusely. He assures the couple that their meal will be redone, comped, and if they follow him, they'll be treated to the VIP limousine.

This seems to placate them because they get up and follow him, finally leaving the rest of us to enjoy our meals. I glance at the offending plate of food and do see a pool of orange grease surrounding his burger. And now I'm really glad I didn't choose it over the regular cheeseburger. Our meal goes so much smoother with the bitching couple gone. And we don't see them again. My burger's pretty good, if not a little greasy. But unlike the assholes no longer in front of us, I'm not expecting five-star excellence.

When you come to eat at a place like this, you're not paying a high price for the food, but for the experience. As the day progresses, I don't hit as many rides as I had earlier because the lines are starting to get pretty long. And I've already done all the ones with single rider lines. Kaylee goes in a damn near every shop.

And thankfully, what she's really hunting for are the pressed penny machines. It's by far the cheapest of the souvenirs and I don't try to talk her out of them like I do with most things. Seriously, why is a stuffed character that's worth ten bucks? Have a damn price tag that says thirty-five. It's robbery, if you ask me.

But I'll keep it to myself. We've made it to the last section of this park we haven't been to yet. Still an hour or two of sunlight left. We come across an attraction that is a year-round house of horrors. I've always liked going to haunted houses. But it's not Kaylee's thing. especially since it's in 3D. There may not be a single rider line, but the standby line is short and constantly moving.

As I make my way between the rails, I take in the changing atmosphere as I enter the building. They're typical horror-themed decorations, but the details are extreme. This is a little too horrific for this place, but I guess there's bound to be at least one thing here that's more for the adults than the kids. A lot of the displays are behind glass, but the rotting flesh on some of these zombies looks a little too real. If they weren't for the glass,

I'd swear it'd stink to high heaven. Another display shows some kind of tentacle monster standing atop a mound of bones. I'd seen plastic bones that looked like the real thing, and I'd swear that these are that. level of quality. Another display shows a slaughterhouse scene, but the bodies being processed aren't animal. Maybe I should have paid better attention to the signs leading into this attraction. It has to have some kind of disclaimer against children entering this ride. When I get to the

end of the line, I take note that there really are no children getting loaded into the moving cars. In fact, the cars never stop moving, nor is there an end to them. It's as if the entire track is completely filled from start to finish. The floor in front of the cars is a conveyor belt, making it easier for people to get into their seats since nothing stops moving. This is the first ride that I've been on that I get a car to myself. There is no seatbelt. But the lap bar does come back automatically. The attendant checks to make sure it's secure. It warns me what I'm about to see will make me question what's real and what's illusion.

3D effects can't be that realistic, can they? I'm plunged into complete darkness for what seems like half a minute. The right doesn't go fast at all, but the lack of light starts getting unnerving. Speakers in the headrest startle me as a narrowing. starts telling me a story. It's about a German immigrant with a dream to create the best amusement park in the world, his own kingdom.

Unfortunately, the man's dream was fraught with nightmares, evil people who stood in his way, greedy bankers and corrupt labor unions, constantly trying to shake him down for everything he was working. Then there were the politicians with their hands out and zoning committees that wouldn't approve his permits without getting their palms greased. This was everything against what he wanted to create.

So he decided to do something about it. Like the myth behind how Rome was built, this kingdom stands on a fountain of blood. All those greedy corrupt people. standing in this man's way, fell victim to a doctor friend of his. Dr. Walters had fled Germany after the war and found refuge in the States, under a false identity, of course. Though his name changed, his work did not. The first display I'm shown on the ride is a mad scientist's typical lab from several decades ago, complete with several dismembered bodies and blood-stained walls. I hear screams as a man wearing only slacks lays on an operating

table, and someone in a lab coat starts digging into him with medical tools. For 3D effects, it looks pretty damn real. The next room shows a construction site, and zombies in business suits ripping apart a union labor foreman. Next, I'm shown a model of the original park in the 60s. There are families all over the place, moving about and enjoying the park. Hidden behind fences and buildings are park employees up to no good. I see truck use, drinking, all sorts of shady activity. Narrator says that while the park was becoming everything the man had dream of,

The employees were another matter entirely. With Dr. Walter's help, a new kind of behavior modification pharmaceutical was developed, but one that would never pass government standards. The next scene shows those same misbehaving employees being snatched and dragged, kicking, and screaming to Dr. Walter's lap. I watch as a breathing mask is forced onto them, and their struggles eventually stop. I don't get to see what's next until the next scene. The narrator tells me that the employees are put into a drug-induced state of euphoria.

With Dr. Walters' unparalleled knowledge of the human brain, a substance was extracted and then diluted and turned into an aerosol. Breathing in this concoction allows the person to become unusually upbeat and chipper. Exactly what the man expected from his employees. All of this sinks in, and I'm baffled. This explains why the employees act so happy even with irate patrons. Also why I've noticed so many of them with orange inhalers. Could this really be true? And if it is, why would they publicly explain this on a ride?

Unexpectedly. The car spins around now, showing me an updated version of the lab. Sitting in a dentist's chair is a boy no older than 13, with an insanely exaggerated smile on his face. What alarms me is the all-too-familiar concert shirt he's wearing. An older man in a white lab coat stands up from behind him, a large needle in his hands. Inside the syringe is a pale pink liquid. Standing in line against the back wall are even more people, to include the belligerent couple that had been in the front seat of the pink Cadillac.

Before I can say or do anything, a fog rolls in out of nowhere and I'm forced to breathe it in. I suddenly feel incredibly good and unusually happy. The ride turns into a more traditional haunted house with the graveyard, flying ghosts, and moaning spirits. Narrator is silent now. I scream as things just jump out at me. When I finally make it back outside, I find Kaylee sitting on the bench. Join the chance to sit. She sees me coming and asks how the wrong.

ride was. I tell her it was awesome, and the 3D effects were amazing. I don't remember much from the first half of the ride, but the second half had me laughing and screaming at the same time. I can't stop grinning. I noticed some characters nearby and insists we get a picture with them. Wow, if this is how you get after a ride like that, I should take you to haunted houses more often. Kaylee says, with a grin. More information on this podcast, including how to submit your own story for consideration. Please visit creepypod.com. You can also follow us at creepypod on social media and YouTube.

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