Creepy - Creepaway Camp 2023 - Day 2: A Romanian Film & Campground Slaughter

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

A Romanian Film***Link: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/A_Romanian_Film***Narrated by: Alicia Atkins***Campground Slaughter***Link: https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Campground_Slaughter***Written by: CrtlAltDelete***https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/***Check out our reward tiers at patreon.com/creepypod***Sound Design by Pacific Obadiah***Title music by Alex Aldea Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

So, how are you all settling in? Before everyone, including myself, yells at you and complains about essentially kidnapping us. Again. Yeah, kidnapping us again. I think we can all admit it's nicer here than the last place. Thanks, Jimmy. That means a lot, man. Having said that...

And I don't much care for the smell of your deodorant. Well, that was one of the more difficult... Looks like 35 minutes of straight berating that I've ever endured, ending on a more puzzling note than anything. At least Michelle didn't pile on. Michelle isn't even here. Oh, yeah. Anyone's seen her? Okay, well, maybe we should get back to work and figure out some activities for the campers.

I was thinking worst-case scenario, we take the hungover grade school teacher out and just play a movie. That's why teachers played movies? No. I don't know. I was watching a John Mullaney stand-up special, and he said... That's not what I meant. I meant I'm not okay just playing some movie to campers. Why?

And please frame your answer in the form of a story, ideally 15 minutes long or so? Because of the Romanian film. I consider myself a rather big fan of silent movies. My father had a couple of reels of old, grimy, yet still elegant productions like Phantom of the Opera. greed and the cat and the canary. Every couple of months or so, me and the rest of my family would all sit down and watch one of them on our old projector

as a nice, relaxed movie night. They were always very fun, and many of my core memories center on those nights. The scream of terror I had when the phantom's true face was shown, the happiness when the menacing cat was first arrested, the initial confusion of attempting to follow many of those plot lines, and the misplaced joy and anger as I followed the story my juvenile mind created as I watched. As I've grown up, I've taken other interests and hobbies,

but my love for classical silent era films has never gone away. I have made friends who collected film reels just like my father. I have touched, held, and seen incredibly rare movies that have listed online would easily go for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. I preface this story with, all this background because it's integral to how I have come across something so bizarre. A few months back, one of my friends gave me a contact of his in Europe, Serbia specifically, and told me that he had a film that he said I would be fascinated by,

which also happened to be something he would be glad to load off himself for just about $200 of Serbia and Dinarz. Interested, I asked and received his contact information, and later that he was. that day, I sent him an email introducing myself and inquiring about the movie, asking basic facts about when it was made, and if any other copies of it have surfaced. His response confirmed the film was as prophesized by my acquaintance. In slightly broken, yet understandable English, he claimed the movie was filmed all the way back in 1907, and was of Romanian origin, also noting that he had not seen the film listed anywhere else, which indicated. it had not only been lost, but was so obscure absolutely nobody even knew of his existence besides

me, him, and his family, along with anyone else he happened to tell about it. He then went on to explain how he came into the possession of the real. It gave me a general rundown of the plot. According to him, his grandfather had bought it off a wandering salesman near the Serbian-Romanian border. He never spoke much of it, but the seller recalled his father telling him to watch out for roaming fences, citing that he himself had seen a man without a tongue babbling about some movie trying to sell it. It had been kept in the family ever since, although he couldn't say whether or not it was ever watched at all, and he certainly knew he never did, because he would either not want to sell it, or there wouldn't even be a film to sell. He remembered his

father telling him about how it was about some man meeting a demon, but the details were fuzzy in his head, and he couldn't remember entirely. The name of the movie, Omaju Diavalu, or Omage for the Devil, in Romanian, certainly supported this. With my interest piqued, I wired him the payment. He sent one more email thanking me profusely. In retrospect, I should have seen the warning signs starting here. It was three entire pages of the phrase, thank you, thank you so much, repeated over and over and over again.

And then a few weeks later, a package arrived in the mail. Opening it up, it was a dusty, oxidized movie reel with film wrapped around the center. I took out my old projector and screen and carefully inserted the reel. Turning it on and starting the movie, I had a strange uneasiness as I watched the film move. It started with just a black screen for a couple of minutes. before coming to an establishing shot of a small town. The picture clarity was unnaturally high for a movie so old, and it was clear that the town scene wasn't just a model nor a set, but a real one.

People moved in and out of the shops and restaurants and talked to each other on the pathways, and horses were seen carrying cargo on the cobblestone roads. After a couple of minutes of this shot, it cuts to a balding man writing something in a study of some sort. The room is dingy and dark, the only light being from a couple of candles at the table where the man is sat down. He's wearing a disheveled suit with a plain undershirt, and his pants have holes and cut off just around his ankles. I can't see his shoes, but I can infer they are in similarly bad condition.

After a few minutes or so of just writing, he gets up and walks to a door, opens it, and walks through. We cut to another room, very small and connecting to a sort of dining room. There is a bed at the back, where we see an emaciated woman and a young girl lying. The girl has black hair, while the woman wears a nightcap. Both wear white gowns and are under blankets that cover their lower bodies. The girl sways back and forth a bit, and seemingly tries to get away from the woman on her right, who is perfectly still, almost like a corpse. When the camera cuts again, it answers why.

It is a close-up of the woman, who stares directly ahead with large, unnaturally wide, open eyes. Her pupils look like that of a goat's, a long, thick, horizontal line going across the eye west to east. Notably, there is a dent in her forehead. Not a hole, a dent. As if her head was metal and a hammer had been taken to it like a nail. It cuts again, and the man is walking out of the house. He walks along the road, the camera cutting to show his walk and entirely from all different sorts of angles.

Cross the street, from the second story of a building, right in front of him, etc. He walks inside a building along the way, and it cuts again. The man is in an office now, pleading with what seems to be some sort of executive of a company, an old fat man and a suit and beard. The man starts off the conversation quite normally, but as it goes on, he increasingly gets more and more unhinged. He starts screaming,

acting out exaggerated gestures, and appearing to shed real tears by the end of his triad. The fat man just laughs in his face as a response, and in return, the man slaps him across the face and storms off in anger. It cuts again. After what appears to be some time later, the man stands before an altar in a similarly dark room as before. A jagged dagger in hand and a thick book in the other.

He places the book on the altar and lifts his free hand above it, brandishing his dagger as if to slice his palm and rain the book in blood. The spine of the book had a cross on it, indicating it was a Bible. The man's demeanor is also quite off. His face cannot be seen, but his dagger hand is shaking. He turns it over in his hand constantly, as if he is anxious and afraid. After a minute or so of deliberation, his free hand wraps around the blade. It cuts without showing the slash, and the man is seen with bandages on his hand. He is standing before a lake, appearing to wait for someone.

It is very obviously night, the only lighting being the candles seemingly provided by the film crew, and the half-moon reflecting off the surface of the lake. After a couple of minutes, the movie abruptly cuts to black, before cutting again to the lake scene, with one huge difference. A horrifying creature now stands before the man, almost looking like it hovers above the lake. The abomination carries a human figure, a terrifying, finely skinny one, with long and spindly arms and legs. Despite the black and white nature of the movie, I can certainly deduce the creature is pale, glowing in the night almost fluorescently.

There is a mane of dark feathers around its neck, going down its back and its face. Oh God, its face! It's an ugly, wrinkled, inhumane mess, punctuated by a large nose that almost appears like a pig snout, and huge bulging eyes, with bloodshot vessels you could see from miles away. Around it, tender-like limbs sprout and orbit the thing, loose flesh and fibers flowing in the apparent wind. There is no conception in my mind as to how these most likely dirt-poor Romanians were able to construct such a lifelike, complex, organic prop, or even costume in 1907.

The most likely thing is that they didn't. The entity reaches out to the man. It stares at the man for a second, and before it cuts away, I swear I can see it move towards him, if only for just a millisecond. The next shot is back in the bedroom, with the woman and girl. This time, the man is standing before them in his own nightgown. His expression is lifeless, one of despair. It cuts to black again for a few seconds, and the creature appears again, tendrils flowing

and everything. It reaches a lanky arm out to the man, and his attention is grabbed. He then just... ...stares at it for a second, before the film cuts to black again and goes back to the scene for a final time. The creature is gone. The man is still staring at where the creature was, and abruptly starts walking. walking out, ending the scene.

The next scene is not for the faint of heart, so I will spare the gory details and give a brief summary. The man walks into an altar room with a small bundled thing. The camera starts to zoom in from afar on a particular part of the bundle. The man slowly turns it, and it reveals a screaming, bawling baby. The camera zooms out again, and the man can, tries to shush it to no avail. Finally, he takes the dagger out again, pointing the blade at the baby. The next scene is the man returning home, and the scene is disproportionately happy compared to

the horrors than the last one. The woman, his apparent wife, greets him at the door with a hug and a kiss, while the girl who appears to be his daughter jumps into his arms. His wife's head notably doesn't have the dent anymore. The man himself has an odd air around him. His beaming smile and jubilant attitude are infected by this shame and dread, something that's not immediately noticeable, but can be easily seen once you do. His eyes are shifty, and the hand he held the dagger in shakes just a little bit, enough to be noticeable.

The scene fades, doesn't cut into the next scene. The camera fades into the same bedroom the wife and daughter were in, except the man is laid there instead. All the furnishings and such are taken out of the room, leaving just a plain white room with a bed. The man coughs and turns around in the bed in agony. His bald head shines with sweat from his sickness, and he's clearly in a lot of real pain.

Just when the man is laid still, and the scene appears to have run its course, a sudden pentagram appears on his chest. The lines of the star and circle bursts into flames, igniting the man and the blanket. Soon everything is on fire. The man can't be seen very well, but I can only imagine how fast he burnt into a human puddle.

It is a clear repentance for his previous deal in sin. The last scene is a small funeral for the dead man. The coffin is already in the grave, and a grave-digger is on standby for when it's over. Only one figure has shown up, and it is not the man's wife, nor his kid. It is a tall figure, whose face cannot be seen due to the wide-brimmed hat it's wearing.

A priest comes into frame with a Bible, quickly giving the man his last rites before leaving. The tall figure steps forward slowly and offers a single, unknown flower, before the camera cuts to a backshot of the figure walking away. As the figure took its hat off, I audibly gasped, as it revealed two large dark horns as it walked away. The movie ends with no credits.

I have no idea what to make of this movie. It is bizarre in a way I cannot hope to be seen replicated anywhere else. The frantic editing tells me it is a movie, but the lack of set designs and appearance of real emotion and the entity tell me it is not. I am so bewildered and confused. I fear I have stumbled across something that no man was ever supposed to see. I hope this does not make its way out of my position. The knowledge of its existence and contents within could paint a target on my back

and lead to the destruction of my life and potentially the backbone of many. the other lives. Ever since I saw it that fateful day, around three months ago, there's been an aura around my house I cannot shake. Like something is always watching me, observing me, and it follows me everywhere I go around the house. Whether or not it's the effects of the movie taking its toll on my mind even after all this time later, or if it's something more than just paranoia, I'm not so sure.

Considering the nature of the things I saw in that film, I cannot rule out the possibility that some spirit or remnant of the man, entity, or someone else followed me all the way from Serbia, latched on to the film like a postal stamp to finally greet me once I exposed my eyes to that wretched tape. In spite of everything, I have but one question. If the devil was only at the funeral, what in the hell was the thing that the man saw? All things considered, it's still better than watching a Serbian film, or anything by Ui Boll. Alicia, I really doubt that we'll end up playing anything like that. Right, John?

No, nothing like that. In fact, let's control-alt delete that idea entirely. I was thinking it'd be more like campground slaughter. An exploitation film can be defined as any film that exploits a particular subject matter. Whether said matter is lurid, controversial, or otherwise. These films would run the gamut from black exploitation to borderline torture porn, usually with a shoestring budget and underperforming actors.

They gained significant popularity in the 1970s. Though their exact origins are debatable. These films were notable for their office. and obscene levels of depravity and violence, to the degree that entire subgenres were defined based on the type of violence. Cannibalism, torture, splatter, and even slasher films could be defined as part of the exploitation film genre. Even more famous films like Night of the Living Dead and Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy could be

considered exploitation. Women were the most common subject matter for these films to utilize. Sacks was often the easiest way to sell a movie and many would spice the genre with other aspects, such as so-called rape revenge films. Said sub-genre requires a little explanation. While many of these films are given a cult following, many have fallen to the wayside. Forgotten beneath their contemporaries, these films practically vanish from the public eye, often finding themselves dumped into the bargain bins at dingy video stores.

Campground Slaughter was on such film. Produced by Alan Rickwalder in 1975, Campground Slaughter was an early slasher film with the premise that a group of promiscuous teens camp near the site of a serial murder many decades prior. The plot itself was fairly standard and was only notable at the time for ending with the death of the main protagonist, named Maria, in exceptionally brutal fashion. What is notable, however, are the rumors and stories surrounding the production. Alan Rick Walder's production company, Rick Wilder Films, was based out of Akron, Ohio. Rick Walder was notably cheap and went so far as to purchase a car park scheduled for demolition as his primary sound stage. The company had been in existence since the 1940s, where Rick Walder's father received commissions by the United States government to produce war propaganda and anti-drug films,

similar in the vein to the famous Reefer Madness. From there, moved to producing science fiction films during the 1950s, then back to anti-drug films throughout the 60s, as would be expected from their track record, Rick Walder films jumped at the opportunity to cash in on the newest cinematic craze. Rick Walder himself was often described as a jovial man, slightly overweight with large glasses and an unkempt beard. One could be mistaken for thinking him a vagrant. Instead, he was a rather well-off individual with a family, children,

and even several other income properties to his name. A particular note was his obsession with supernatural films. He went on record multiple times stating his desire to make his own, but budgetary restraints kept him from creating his vision. Camp Crown Slaughter went into pre-production in early March in 1975. The script, penned by Joseph Esther, was rewritten several times at Rick Walder's request. He stated that the film needed to, quote, really push what movies could get away with. Scenes with more nudity, sex, and violence were added, to the point that several had to be cut to meet the production budget.

The actors were underpaid college students, most of which were attending the nearby University of Akron. Among them was Anne Connolly, an ichthyology major who auditioned for the starring role of Maria to behesed of her friends, several of whom had signed on as unpaid extras. The film's production began without incident. The indoor scenes were shot in the car park. Was Sets built to emulate a high school, old-timey shop, etc. It is notable that Rick Walter fired his previous director during this time and began taking on nearly all management duties.

Workers noted that he seemed distant, not really focused on his work. Even his family began to notice a change in him, as his once-humable personality transformed in one of aloofness and isolation. He'd often spend hours, even days at a time, locked away in his editing room. The first documented incident was a conflict with one of the actors, Jack Mandurley, during the filming of a school scene. Rick Walder criticized the man's performance intensely. The two argued back and forth for hours with the director claiming that Mandirley lacked dedication to his work. In the end, Jack left the production as quickly written out of the script to ensure shooting would continue as planned.

as at this point that staff began to complain of technical problems on set. Electronic devices would frequently malfunction, tools would go missing, and Rick Waller was noted to become even more reclusive. In one instance, a janitor claimed that he caught a glimpse of the director's notes, and that there was scrawled with incoherent rambling and several symbols he described as, kind of like an eye, but with a bunch of circles around it.

The janitor stated that after this occurred, Rick Wilder fired him for an unrelated incident that the janitor claimed never happened. The symbol in question was also found in several locations around the set. He usually squirled away on equipment or behind props. Actors claimed they would occasionally catch glimpses of the eye-like symbols and that afterwards would experience terrible migraines. Latherj and a myriad of other health problems were claimed to follow observations of these symbols. These reports cannot be adequately confirmed.

Filming of the outdoor scenes began in late March, 1975. By this point, much of the original crew had left the production, citing a menagerie of stresses. The most significant of these stresses was Rick Walter himself. He's often described as sullen, temperamental, and looking like he'd unslepping weeks. His habits pursued him through the filming of these scenes, where he'd often put the actors through deliberately stressful scenarios. He claimed these were to get the right performances.

In one instance, when the scene called for Maria to nearly fall into a ravine, Rick Wolder forced Ms. Connolly to actually dangle over a ravine for five minutes to get the right emotional tone. In another incident, staff complained that somebody broke into the set during the night, leaving a black tar-like substance on most

of the equipment. Rick Wander was blamed, but he claimed no knowledge of the incident. Staff even claimed to see during filming, unidentified movement in the surrounding brush. When someone would investigate, there would, of course, be nothing there. Records of events during this time are somewhat scarce, however, and most of the evidence can only be gleamed through eyewitness testimony. One such witness was Joseph Esther himself, who had stayed throughout the entire production. He stated that while Rick Walder would lock himself away in the editing room, he periodically forget to secure it when he returned home.

It was on one such occasion that Esther snuck inside to see what his co-worker was actually doing. He claimed that the room was in shambles, with papers and film rails scattered about in a frenzy of disorganization. The equipment was damaged beyond repair, save for a single film projector point, had a blank white wall. On the desk where at least a dozen papers, each scrawled with unintelligible nonsense. Esther noted that almost every one had an eye with several surrogate.

circles drawn around them. He flicked a projector on, in spite of his own trepidation, and watched Rick Walder's work. The movie played just as they filmed it, but he said that an overwhelming sense of despair filled him as it went on. Esther claimed that as he watched, he became aware of something moving in the backgrounds of the sets, a dark, feminine form that would appear for seconds at a time, and every appearance brought with her to dread that he found difficulty describing. occasionally he stated that he saw flickers at the symbol as though Rick Walder had cut them into the film deliberately. As the victims were killed off, however, Esther said that the appearance of the killer was different from the actor they'd hired. The actor they'd hired was tall and stocky with a fairly generic outfit of a trench coat mask.

They decided never to explicitly show the killer until the final scene, but it was supposed to be one of Maria's friends, her boyfriend. yet every glimpse of the killer in the film showed a sleek feminine body. He couldn't tell if she was wearing clothes. It had long black hair that obscured any facial features, but he said that he saw glimpses of its face occasionally. He refused to describe it further. As a film built up to the final scene where the killer was met to sneak up on Maria, Esther said that something brushed against him just as the actress screamed.

He turned to find it at the room. was absolutely empty. He was still totally alone. After that point, Esther left the production and moved to Seattle, claiming he'd found other work. Similar incidents continued until the final scene was to be filmed. This was the most effects-heavy scene. So Rick Walder saw fit to film at last to save time and money.

The killer was to finally confront Maria and the conflict was to ensue, ending when Maria's overwhelmed and stabbed to death. Conley thought the scene went too far, but when Rick Walder threatened to kick her off the project, she decided to go along with it. The conflict was as expected. The killer lunged at Maria who fought and kicked at him. This went on for several minutes until Maria was fatally wounded. The killer stood and began to remove his mask, but just as he did, one of the sets lighting fixtures collapsed onto the two actors. The actor portraying the killer was terribly injured and rushed to a nearby hospital, where he later.

died. Conley suffered similar injuries, including multiple crushed bones and electrical burns. The attending physician was initially unwilling to speak, but eventually stated that the electrical burns, quote, looked like human handprints. Ms. Conley survived her initial injuries, but later died to complications during surgery. The production was wrapped, and Rick Walder planned to recut the film did not include the final scene. Many of the staff quit the company and the action, and the actors returned to the daily lives. Rick Walder, however, did not. His wife claimed he became obsessed with the film,

that she'd find him in the basement still trying to cut together a coherent story. She later filed for divorce and moved to Arizona, leaving Rick Walder along to his work. The film did eventually release, but only to one obscure theater in town. No reviews were ever published at the event, and no records are available to determine the exact audience response. Only one individual came forward. A Miss Justine called well to provide an account of the screening.

She claimed that Rick Walder was present at the screening and that he looked even more haggar than usual. His eyes were sunken, his hair was disheveled, his clothes soaked with sweat and crumbs. She said she thought she saw scratches on his arms, but she wasn't completely sure. No one from the film's crew, cast or otherwise, attended the screening. Campground Slaughter played in exactly the manner the script described. The teens discussed the camping trip at school, met with their families, etc. However, she said many people began to get uncomfortable during the screening, shifting in their seats and looking around. She said that something could be seen moving behind the seats, usually in windows or in dark corners.

To be brief flashes of the symbol occasionally, but Ms. Caldwell claimed they occurred so quickly they didn't register until much later. The unknown individual's appearances increased as the film continued. Comparing Miss Caldwell and Mr. Esther's statements, it seemed that the cuts of the movie were quite similar. Even still the manner in which the victims died began to deviate over the course of the future. The script called for one team to be hacked to death with an axe, yet the film showed them being flayed alive. Another was supposed to be strangled.

She was decapitated and eaten by an unseen entity. Miss Caldwell stated that people. began to cry out in the front rows, saying that someone touched them. A few even screamed. Just as Miss Caldwell claimed she was about to leave, the final scene began. Maria stumbled through the woods, panting and screaming as the killer stalked her. The confrontation concluded when the killer caught up to Maria in a small clearing. This clearing was never used on set, nor was it mentioned in any version of the script.

It was stated that Maria then looked straight at the camera, crying. and begged for someone to help her. Ms. Caldwell claimed that she didn't just look at the camera, though. She said that Maria looked directly at the audience. The killer stepped forward and, with a long, serrated knife, gutted Maria on the screen in intense detail. The projector began to malfunction, causing the picture to wobble back and forth on the screen

as the killer stood and stared at the camera intensely. Ms. Caldwell said that the killer resembled a woman about average height and build. She was totally naked, but with a head of unkempt black hair. She said her body looked decayed, with black slime emerging from cracked porcelain-like skin. The woman stood there, staring at the camera for nearly 30 seconds before the film finally ended. The movie was a flop in every sense of the word. Most of the attendees requested refunds and the theater refused to ever show any of Rick

Walter's work again. The man disappeared into his humble two-story home and was not heard from again for nearly eight weeks. Eventually, neighbors complained of a terrible smell coming from the house and police were asked to investigate. After obtaining the proper warrants, the officers forced their way inside to find the house in shambles. Black fluid was spread across the walls and floors,

dripping from the ceiling in clumps. The officers found it flowing from the faucets, the kitchen sink, even the air conditioning with no obvious source. Scratching noises from the basement drew them further into the home, where they found Rick Walder collapsed on the floor. The basement had been converted into a small editing room, with mountains of film and paperwork scattered among the desks and projectors. The words, her, had been written across the walls and floors.

Incoherent notes from Rick Walder about his muse were found, along with thousands of drawings of a decayed woman. The man's body was in the state of black putrefaction, with markings indicated he committed suicide by slitting his wrists. Strangely, though, an autopsy later determined that his remains should have still been relatively intact, as he appeared have only died a few days prior. A nearly pristine note was found clutched in his hand.

The coroner stated that it said, I wanted inspiration. I wanted to make real horror. I never should have let her in. I never should have let her take them. I found a new scene in the movie yesterday. I was in it. Campground slaughter has since become a lost film.

Only one copy remains in existence. It has since disappeared from police archives, though there have been reports of it appearing in film collections across the country. set reports are obviously untrue as no version of the film exists other than the Rick Walder cut film buffs at least those that know of its existence have offered upwards of six figures for a genuine copy however in spite of all the hearsay and rumors one thing can be conclusively stated about these events every actor each one that died on the screen would pass away in the years after the film first screened Jessica Pickman, for instance, played the main character's best friend.

Three months after the film finished, she was struck by a drunk driver on her way home from class. As the EMTs attempted to revive her, it was claimed that she stared at the other side of the road and asked, What is that woman doing here? There was no woman present at the time. Does that sound a little better, Alicia? Why would it?

Because it's... Um, what was it a question? question? I think I'm going to go see what Michelle is up to. You know this is the part of the horror movie where she says, I'll be right back. There's a jump scare. We look around the campfire at each other suspiciously. I don't know how I feel about our trying to finish each other's sentences. I was just going to say that this is the part where I usually go potty. Why would you say that? Do you have to go potty. Yeah.

I have told you, emailed you, and texted you many times about this. You don't need to ask my permission to go to the bathroom. Then why did you put a lock on the outhouse? I didn't put a lock on the toilet. Do I look like a franchise coffee shop? Well, someone did, and I'm both turtle-heading and fountain penning over here. Just use the axe over by the woodpile to knock it off. I'll fix it in the morning.

But be careful, it's kind of rusty. I think that's where Alicia went over. or two. She'll help. Oh my God, I can taste it. Oh. Real life is weird with you, John. In what way? Besides all the other things you've all berated me with over the last couple of days. I could do without the sleepwalking. I don't sleepwalk. Yeah, you do. I saw you walking around the camp last night. You looked like you were in some kind of trance, just sort of limping along. I don't have a limp. You know what? I don't want to talk about this.

Let's just drink until we can't feel feelings anymore and go to sleep like real camp counselors. Is that a thing? According to all the movies I've ever seen, or maybe it isn't, and I'm just terrible at ending conversation.