Creepy - Upside Down

Episode Date: July 15, 2019

Some guys just can't catch a break...***Written by GasStationJack and guest narrated by Owen McCuen, Nate Dufort and Bex Carlos***Read more from Jack at https://www.amazon.com/Tales-Gas-Station-Jack-Townsend/dp/173282780X/***See how you can get rewarded by supporting the show at Patreon.com/Creepypod***You can also subscribe to us on YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/creepypod***Produced by Steve Blizin, Puzzle Audio***Title music by Alex Aldea***Artwork by Dakota Miller ***Intro/Outro Narration by Joe Stofko Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Listener discretion is advised. Upsin' Upsi down Written by gas station jack With guest narration By Owen McKeown Nate Dufort And Bex Carlos I learned something pretty interesting today

Apparently hanging upside down for too long can be fatal I won't go into everything that led up to the moment of this discovery Because most of it isn't important But believe me when I say it was weird and stupid and involved thousands of leeches. We were suspended by rusty chains wrapped tightly around our bottom half, some 10 feet or so off the floor

in a mysterious underground building that had somehow gone unnoticed for decades in the forest next to the gas station where I work. It was cold and damp, and our only light source was a trio of burn barrels organized in a triangle around us, and I'm pretty sure this place wasn't ventilating all that smoke properly.

I was annoyed, but at least had my co-worker Jerry there hanging next to me, volunteering as a distraction from the situation at hand. To pass the time, he showed off his impressive repertoire of show tunes and told awful dad jokes, despite my repeated request for him to stop. Around the two or three hour mark, our captor came back to check and see how we were doing. Or maybe he was there to taunt us. I don't really know.

His motives were unclear. At first, when I heard the metal door scrape open, I was relieved that we were finally getting this show on the road. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but there's only so many times I can hear Jerry ask if his joke is gone under my head. He walked into the room slowly, one deliberate step after the other. I'm sure he had theme music playing in his mind and probably thought this looked way cooler than it actually did. He was wearing cargo pants, a black leather jacket, and an apron splattered with blood. In one hand, he held a machete, in the other an oversized hook. and on his face he wore the stupidest mask I had ever seen

some kind of nightmare bugs bunny with black fur sharpened buck teeth and pointy elongated ears that scraped the top of the doorframe as he entered he pointed the machete right at me and said something in an intimidating yet muffled voice what I asked he repeated himself not slightly more annoyed but still is equally muffled What's he saying? I have no idea. The man in the mask made a muffled scream and shook his weapon at us. Dude, just take the mask off.

Jerry sat interrupting the muffled. Yeah, we know that's you, Bo, we're not idiots. You smell like X body spray, and you've been casing the gas station for a week now. His name was Bo Kovia, and he'd been a huge jerk as long as I'd known him. We met back in elementary school and established on day one that we, he weren't ever going to be friends. He wasn't the first person I'd have expected to resort to kidnapping and torture, but I wasn't all that surprised at this development either.

It'd be generous for me to say that Bo was a product of his upbringing. Sure, he came from a stupid angry family and a stupid angry town, and one might be tempted to say that he never had much of a chance of breaking the cycle. But I feel like maybe that's letting Bo off the hook too easily. My memories of Bo growing up mostly revolve around attempts to, avoid him in gym class, and out of gym class, and everywhere. In 10th grade, Bo had a brief stint of popularity after the school board refused his grant request for $5,000 to sponsor a high school clan club, a student organization intended to celebrate

Anglo-Saxon heritage by driving four-wheelers around in the mud. He and his father, well, mostly his father, sued on the basis of racial discrimination, and settled out court for an undisclosed sum. After that, he started shopping for clothes exclusively at Hot Topic and wearing his ginger, orange hair and spikes like a 90s punk rocker. Then he printed off a bunch of copies of the anarchist cookbook from the computer lab, started selling cigarettes in the school parking lot, spray painted a bunch of swastikas on the English teacher's car, and eventually made a name for himself as an edgy, too cool for school

kid. Shortly after all that, he literally became the too dumb for school kid. and got kicked out for bad grades and chronic truancy. They sued the school again, but I never heard how that case turned out. I didn't keep up with him, except for what I overheard at the gas station. He was still stupid and angry, and he blamed everyone else for everything. From his multiple DWIs to a sudden and inexplicable weight gain.

Bo was always pretty husky, but these days he was about four-foot tall lying flat on his back, which was one more reason why it was so pointless from the way. wear a mask. When we first noticed Bo hanging out in the gas station, I assumed he was just planning on robbing us. He was never anything even remotely clever, but the level of suspicious he was behaving was on the verge of comical. Wearing a hat and trench coat, parking his truck at the edge of the lot, squinting to see if we had any security cameras anywhere in the building,

coming in twice a day and never buying anything. Then last Friday he tried to talk up to female cashier while they were alone. I'm sure he thought he was being seductive, but that's the power of self-delusion for you. Rosa told me all about it after I came in to take over the safe. He asked if we had any hidden weapons in the store. Because if I needed it, he was more than happy to stick around and offer me his protection. Well, that's pretty obvious, isn't it?

Did he open with that? He started by being really super-crucied. creepy and asking me about where I was from, how long I had worked here, yada yada. Then he asked if I was alone. Why would he think that was okay to ask? What did you tell him? I lied. I said you, Jerry and Mack were in the back, rotating inventory. Who's Mac?

He's just a guy I made up to tell Bo. Mac is an ex-marine with impulse control problems. He's just trying to do right by his ex-wife ever since they let him out at the slammer, where he did time for a crime he just didn't commit. All he wants to do is be part of his kids' lives and makes some extra money here at the gas station while he takes night classes to get his MBA. But an old acquaintance from his days in the service

comes back into his life suddenly and unexpectedly, pulling Mack down a rabbit hole that will challenge everything he stands for. Will Mac make the right call? Find out in Mac the knife! Anyway, we need to call Deputy O'Brien. There's not really much you can do until he actually breaks a law. Can we put a gun under the counter? Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is that we don't keep a stash of weapons here at the gas station?

I'll think about it. I did think about it. I really did. I haven't came to the conclusion that Rosa was right. We should start arming ourselves, just in case. But then I got lazy and started reading a book. And I forgot about it. And then last night I came in to take over for Jerry and start my overnight shift, but he wasn't there.

Instead of Jerry, I found this fat dummy holding a machete and a gun, wearing a silly rabbit mask and forcing me into the back cab of his truck. Then he drove me out into the woods, down an old dirt road, to a giant metal bunker door, and walked me inside, down a concrete hallway coated in dirt and graffiti, past rooms half flooded with stagnant rainwater, past giant metal silos and crumbling, columns and metal beams and finally into this huge empty room where I tied me up with chains and hoisted me to the ceiling next to Jerry. And that's how we got here. Between knock-knock jokes and Jerry's terrible a cappella rendition of Broadway hits, we wondered out loud what Bo's endgame was.

The room he placed this in contained a giant pentagram freshly painted on one wall with a ladder, brush, an open can from Sherwin Williams sitting next to it. After that, I surmised all the blood on Bo's apron was actually just paint. The best theory we could come up with was that he'd gone off the deep end and was planning his sacrifices to the devil. Turns out, our theory wasn't that far off.

Boe finally took off the mask, revealing the look of annoyance on his chubby round face. You shitsticks don't even know what kind of hurt you're in for, do you? A moment passed, and I said, Oh, wait, were you waiting for an answer? Sorry, thought you were being rhetorical.

You think you're so smart, don't you? Will you know what? You aren't. Wow. Clever. Come on, Bo. Just let us down from here. We can pretend this whole thing never happened.

No, we won't. As soon as you let us go, I swear, I'm headed straight down to the sheriff's station and hand your ass in, and there's nothing you can do to stop me or change my mind. I cut my eyes at him and muttered a quiet. Shut up. Something must have clicked in his head because jury started to backtrack. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. You're right. Never mind, Beau. I forgive you. Now, let us go. Or else? Bull let out a force laugh that didn't sound even remotely convincing and said,

You're staying here for the rest of eternity. This is where you'll die. Did you know that the Chinese used death from hanging upside? down as their most feared form of torture. Again, I caught myself waiting from to continue, only to realize he was asking us a question. Oh, uh, no. No, I didn't. Let me explain to you the different stages of pain you will go through before death.

First, you will feel your lungs slowly being crushed under the weight of your other organs, until the very act of breathing becomes nearly impossible. Then your heart will overload from the extra work of pumping blood all the way to your toes and back. Then the vessels in your eyes will rupture. You will go permanently blind as you struggle for each breath. And then, after you're finally dead, I will bleed you dry and leave your bodies down here to rot.

I'm not a doctor, but none of that sounded right. However, I wasn't about to tell Bo that he needed up his torture game. Hey! Bo yelled, pointing his machete at the guy hanging on the other side of Jerry. What's going on with that one? By that one, he was referring to Mel, the new part-time of the Jerry had been training when Bo came in earlier to kidnap him. It was only his first day.

A poor guy was already in a secret underground torture chamber. Jerry answered. Yeah, he passed out like right off the bat. We've been trying to wake him up, but he is lights out hard. Hey, Mel, Mel, wake up. You're missing the villain monologue. Jerry swung an arm at Mel, but we were all suspended just out of reach of one another. Is that got dead already?

I studied Mel for a moment, but couldn't see any breathing or other signs of life. Yeah. I think he is. Wow. Bo said with a strange smile. I did it. I took my first life. Now I know how it feels.

This power, it's amazing. It's something you pathetic sheep are never going to feel. You'll never know the power of snuffing out another person's very existence. Jerry chuckled and said, Okay, dude. Oh, this is it. I have everything I need. Do you idiots want to guess what's about to happen next?

No. We both answered at the same time. Now I have what I need to summon forth the beast cave again. He is an eternal being from another world, stronger than even you can fathom. I've given him everything he needs to enter our realm, except for the final ingredient. The blood of a man, intolerant. Orchard anguish. Bo went to the corner where the chains were all connected to an old crank device and turned the wheel until Mel's body was lowered all the way to the floor.

Then he unhooked Mel's chains, listened for a heartbeat. Really, he should have done those two in the opposite order. And drag Mel across the floor to the spot in front of the pentagram. Hey, dude, when we get out of this, man, I think we should seriously reconsider buying a shotgun or something for the store. Bo got down on his knees and fished a large pocket knife out of his cargo pants, flicked it open, and kissed it. You losers about to see something you're not even worthy to behold. The gates of hell will open, and you will literally be in the presence of the dark Lord Kavergan.

Tell me, have either of you seen an actual God before? Yes, we said in unison. I looked over Jerry. Wait, really? When did you see a god? It was back when you were in the hospital for a few days getting your leg thing taken care of. There was this bat god named Plaboo or something.

He was trapped in a small universe thing inside a bottle of strata liquor. Of course, I was on a lot of mushrooms at the time, so I might have imagined it all. What about you? Remember that time we were all escaping the zombie nudis in that underground cavern and we got separated by those giant hands

that burst out of the walls? Yeah, I got sucked into this throne room of a dark tree god. Turned out to be pretty cool, though. Of course, I was on a lot of painkillers at the time, so I might have imagined it all. Our lives are weird. Hey, I'm being serious here. This is real, and you're about to see for yourselves. Watch! With two hands around the hill, he plunged the knife into Mel's chest.

Mel's eyes shot open, and he screamed and bolted to his feet. It worked. Mel is a zombie. Mel screamed again and looked at the weapons sticking out of his chest. Mel, go get help. Bo struggled to get his fat ass through his feet, but Mel turned around, punched him in the face, and darted out the door down the hallway. Get back here!

Bo screamed as he threw his hook after the escaping victim. It clanged against the wall several feet from the door and fell to the ground, and Bo huffed and ran out after him. A few minutes later, Bo came back in the room with his head hung low. his eyes red and watery and snoddy blood flowing messily from his nostrils. It looked like that punch might have left bow with a broken nose and, as pathetic as he looked, I couldn't possibly feel sorry for him. This is all your faults!

How do you figure? You lied to me. You tricked me into believe that Mill was actually dead. Jerry snapped his fingers and said. Bitch get off this persecution complex. You are the one that brought us down here to torture us. to death. You don't get to cry over how we weren't nice to you. I'm going to kill

you. Yeah, so you said. Cherry taunted back. But wiped his bloody nose off on his sleeve and flung it to the ground, then screamed again. You have no idea how powerful I'm going to be. You're going to learn your place. You're all going to

respect me. And when I'm done I... He stopped mid-sentence and his face went pale. Then he turned and looked at his bloody splatter on the floor. Then at the pentagram on the wall. What? He stammered to nobody in particular. Jerry gave me a look that said,

This dude is four equal sides short of a square. Oh, yes, of course. He was speaking to the wall. So, like, you want to let us down now, or what? Bo looked at me with a giant, ugly smile, and asked, Do you guys hear that, too? Hear what? That voice. He's right there.

Bo pointed at the pentagram. He can hear me. And he's telling me that I've done well. The blood was good. He just needs more. Of course. All he needs to come forth is for me to make the ultimate sacrifice. Boe picked up his machete with his right hand and held it to his left wrist.

Then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This is it. This is why he chose me to summon Kavergown. Because he knew when the time came, I would have the strength to do what's necessary. Who chose you for what? I'm lost. Yeah, me too.

I really wasn't paying attention. Was Mela zombie or what? Bull opened his eyes, forced another fake laugh and said, There is a man in town. I never got his name, but I didn't have to. He found me. He offered me a job. He gave me purpose.

And now, I'm part of something greater than myself. All he asked is that I summer Cavragan into this world. It's all part of the great plan. And soon, it will be finished. It is an honor to be able to give my life so Cavargan can rise. He closed his eyes and, lifted the machete, then slowly put it back against his skin. Then we waited for like 30 seconds.

Eventually, Jerry's voice crept into the silence in his best Emperor Palpatine voice. Yes, that's it. Let the darkness be your strength. Let the anger guide you. Let the hate flow through you. Quit it. You're gonna mess them up. Both threw the weapon to the ground and screamed at us again.

You bitches had no idea what it's like. like how hard I have to struggle. I've gone my entire life putting up with shit stains like you too trying to keep me down, and I'm sick and tired of it. Soon, Cabrigan will come, and all the people that make my life worse, all you people, will get exactly what you deserve. I'd actually forgotten that he still had a gun until this moment, when he pulled it out of the waistband of his cargo pants and said,

This is what real strength looks like. And put it in his mouth. I closed my eyes and braced for the noise. This was gonna be super gross, and I really didn't care to watch. After a few seconds, he still hadn't pulled the trigger. I opened one eye to see that he was frozen there with a gun still on his mouth. Hey man, I have an idea. You're clearly having trouble riding that struggle bus over there.

Why don't you let me down from here? Give me the gun and let me kill you. Yeah, right? Sound good? You want to die? I want to kill you. It's a win-win. Bo pulled the gun out of his mouth

It sounded a wet plop and spat on the ground You don't have what it takes to kill somebody No really, I've got a total hard-on for homicide Just ask Jack It's true Before we worked at the gas station Jerry was the only surviving member of a murder cult Bo walked angrily over to the crank wheel And started lowering Jerry to the ground

Holy shit, is this actually working? Boe took the chains off Jerry, tossed the gun next to him Then held the machete like a baseball bat right underneath me and said, Okay, asshole, here's the deal. You can't back out now. If you don't spill my blood and open the portal, I'm going to kill your friend. Jerry didn't hesitate for one second to shoot. Both screamed and flopped onto the ground,

hugging the foot with a fresh bullet hole. Then Jerry fished his pack of smokes out of his pocket, lit one up, and took a puff. Hey, uh, dude, you want to let me down from here now? But before he could answer, the fire from the burn barrel started flaring up, roaring and growing. Before we knew what was happening, they had formed giant cyclones of burning red and blue, blazing swirls that climbed to the ceiling. As the heat from the fire swept over me, I saw crystallic sparkling light in the center of the pentagram grow from the size of a pinprick

into an enormous swirling vortex of pure shimmering lights. Well, check that out! Bow started frantically laughing. And I think he was just about to give us a smug. But before he could, an enormous skeletal hand reached out from the void and grabbed him around the waist. I can't describe exactly what this hand looked like, because I don't think the entity it belonged to is a part of our world or understanding of physics. It was, at the exact same time, the size of a normal human arm and the size of Manhattan Island. It was a color that's never existed.

It had five fingers, and each fingertip split into five more fingers. which each broke into five fingers, which broke into five more fingers, at infinitum. I could somehow hear the creature's arm moving with my eyes, and the smell of its flesh was very similar to gumdrops. Jerry later insisted it smelled like spiced rum. Bowled out of gasp as the infinite fingers squeezed around him, then the arm dragged him slowly through the swirling void. Holy shit! That asshole had my wallet!

Jerry! I yelled to get his attention. When he looked back at me, I pointed at the spot of the ground where dumb-ass Beau's footblood had started to pool. You have to figure out a way to close the portal. Jerry put his lit cigarette between his lips, unzipped his fly, and started pissing into the puddle of blood. And amazingly, that worked. A noise like a crack of thunder filled the room and the portal disappeared. Along with all of our light as the fires from the burn barrels immediately extinguished themselves.

In the darkness, all I could hear was the sound of Jerry pissing on the floor. After a while, he finished up and said, Wow, that's a relief. Man, I got to tell you, I've been holding it ever since he kidnapped us. You're going to let me down now, or... Sorry, I'm on it. It took about ten minutes from him to find the wheel in the dark and lower me to the ground. By the time we got the chainsaw, we could hear the sirens going louder in the distance.

Deputy O'Brien took our statements. then bawled them up and threw them away and told us to try again. Our second version of events left out the part where an evil being reached into our world to grab Bo and drag him into a hell dimension. She informed us that the building was some kind of satellite power plant from the 50s. The place was being shut down and demolished, but they forgot about the basement level, and after a few years, nature reclaimed it. From the looks of things, Bo had been living out there by himself. Officially, he was a lone gunman. a single maniac.

And with him gone, we had nothing to worry about. Unofficially? We're all a little on edge about who hired him to summon a demon. Maybe we'll find out. Maybe we won't. Either way, we need to find someone to replace Mel. Because something tells me isn't coming back to work anytime soon. In other news, I just learned that the carnival's coming to town soon.

So that's pretty exciting. I was annoyed. But at least had my co-worker Jerry there hanging next to me. Volunteering as a distraction from the situation at hand. To pass the time, he showed off his impressive repertoire of show tunes and told awful dad jokes despite my repeated request for him to stop. Tooth hurdy. Tooth hurdy.

If I was a rich dude, Well, I have all the money in the world if I was a wealthy dude. Hey Jack, how come me not laughing at my jokes, man? Did you hear about the guy who invented lifesavers? They say he made a mint. When you see a gent, paying all kinds of rent, you can bet that he's doing it for some dog. That's so good.

Why did chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they'd be chicken sedans. Hey Jack, that joke was funny, man. What happened? Go under your head? Under your head, because we're upside down, man. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but there's only so many times I can hear Jerry ask if his joke has gone under my head. Memories are alone in the moonlight.

Oh my God, that's so funny. All right, check this out. Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted. Assaulted. One was assaulted. There's a woman in the next town over. She's on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The judge says, first offender. She goes, no, first a Gibson, then offender. You're doing fine Oklahoma. Oklahoma Okay You know Jack, before I worked at the store

I used to have a job at the calendar factory But I got fired Because I took a couple days off I feel pretty So pretty I feel pretty And witty and gay

But not that Not that kind of gay though Gay like happy You know what how it means like that It means happy too Are these all funny jokes Going Under Your Head man Under your head

Get it? Going under your head Because we're hanging upside down, man. Our heads are pointed down to the floor. We're hanging, suspended. So the jokes, instead of going over your head, they go under you. Man, it's a tough crowd. For more information, including pictures and videos

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