Crime Stories with Nancy Grace - Introducing ‘Love What Matters’ | The Message That Changed Everything

Episode Date: August 29, 2024

A life-changing text, a reluctant husband, and a teenage girl in need—discover the story that redefines what family truly means. Subscribe to Love What Matters: https://link.chtbl.com/lwm?sid=emailSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, friend. Nancy Grace, Crime Stories, here. Today, I want to share something very different from our normal murder and mayhem. I want to tell you about a podcast that is both heartwarming and full of hope. Just what we need now. It's called Love What Matters. And I know that many of you, moms, women, everyone, tune into Crime Stories because you care, as do I, very deeply about protecting your family, your children. As crucial as that is, it's just as vital to remember all the good things around us. Love What Matters shares real-life stories of resilience, love, overcoming

tough challenges. These are stories that inspire and remind me that even in the darkest times, there is light somewhere. If you search for it, please listen to an episode of Love What Matters. It's coming up in just a moment. Follow it on your favorite podcast app. New episodes drop every Tuesday and Thursday. Do listen. It can change your world. And now here is Love What Matters. For Autumn Moore, that message arrived on a sweltering July day in 2019. Those few lines of text would lead her to redefine the very meaning of family and set in motion a journey that would touch not just her life, but the lives of everyone around her. I'm Colin Balfe, and you're listening to Love What Matters. Today, we're diving into a story that will challenge everything you thought you knew

about love, sacrifice, and what it truly means to be a parent. We'll take you on a journey through the complex world of foster care and adoption, where dreams collide with reality, and where the concept of family is stretched, tested, and ultimately transformed. This isn't just a story about fostering a child. It's about fostering hope. It's about one woman's lifelong dream, a husband's reluctance, and a teenage girl who had all but given up on finding her forever home. So settle in, because what you're about to hear might just change the way you see the world. And who knows, it might even inspire you to change someone else's.

Imagine wanting something with every fiber of your being, not just wanting it, but feeling it call you from the depths of your soul. A desire so strong, it becomes a part of your identity, as essential as breathing. This is how Autumn Moore felt about fostering children. From her earliest memories, Autumn had dreamed of opening her home to children in need. It wasn't a passing fancy or a fleeting thought. It was a calling that had taken root in her heart, growing stronger each passing year. I have always believed every child deserves to be loved unconditionally, cherished, and truly seen for who they are, Autumn shares. But dreams, as we all know, have a way of colliding with reality. And reality, in this case, wore the face of Autumn's loving, but skeptical, husband, Josh.

From the outside, Autumn Moore seemed to have it all. A loving husband, two beautiful daughters, and a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood. It was the kind of life many people spent years striving to achieve. But beneath the surface of this picture-perfect existence, there was an emptiness, a void that couldn't be filled by material possessions or society's expectations. Autumn's dream of fostering wasn't just about helping children. It was about completing her own sense of purpose. This feeling led her to confide in a friend who worked at a local teen shelter. Over coffee one day, Autumn leaned in and said, Hey, if you ever come across a girl who needs a home, just let me know. It was casual, almost offhand.

The kind of remark we make without fully grasping its potential to alter our lives forever. But Josh, well, he wasn't so sure. He'd heard all about the horror stories. He'd seen the grim statistics. We have our own children to think about, he'd argue. His voice tinged with concern. What if she's a bad influence? What if she doesn't fit in? These weren't unreasonable concerns. Fostering a child, especially a teenager, is no small undertaking. It requires patience,

understanding, and a willingness to open not just your home, but your heart. And sometimes, even that isn't enough. Autumn reflects on those early conversations. Josh and I had spoken about fostering many times throughout the years. He and I had even gone to speak with an agency a few years prior, so we can learn more about the process. I felt it was my calling. He felt it was not his. But Autumn held on to hope. I truly believed in my heart that if God gave me this man to call my husband and also gave me this calling, tugging on my heart almost daily,

that a way would eventually be made. Years passed. Tension simmered between them. Autumn's dream, deferred but never forgotten, continued to pulse beneath the surface of their otherwise happy marriage. And then, on July 15th, 2019, came the text that would change everything. Hey, Autumn, are you still interested in foster care? Remember when you said to let you know when I thought I had someone who would potentially be a good fit? Well, I think I have someone. In that moment, time stood still. Autumn's heart raced as she read and reread the message. This was it. The moment she'd been waiting for.

But was she ready? Was her family ready? The girl's name was Mara, 16 years old, a child on the cusp of adulthood, who had already experienced more pain and disappointment than most people face in a lifetime. She sat in a shelter, surrounded by other forgotten children, one more stop in a journey that already stretched far too long. And as Autumn absorbed this information, a mix of emotions washed over her. Excitement, sure, but also fear, doubt. What if Josh was right? What if this was too much for their family to handle. But beneath those swirling thoughts, a quiet certainty began to take root. This was meant to be. Somehow, she knew it. Just days after receiving the text, Autumn attended a Rachel Hollis conference. There, attendees were asked to write down some of their dreams and goals in life. At the top of Autumn's list was fostering.

The whole weekend, Autumn recalls, all I could think about was this teenage girl sitting in a shelter without a place to call home. I just knew we were supposed to welcome her into our hearts and home. But there was still one obstacle, getting Josh on board. The thought of broaching the subject again filled Autumn with a mix of hope and trepidation. How could she convey the depth of her conviction? How could she help Josh see what she saw, what she desperately saw? Not just a troubled teen, but a child in need of love and stability. The weekend after the conference, Autumn and Josh attended church. It was during their annual At the Movies series, where the pastor uses film clips to create a theme and message.

And that particular weekend, the movie just happened to be Instant Family, a film about fostering and adoption. Autumn, having already seen the movie, found herself uncontrollably sobbing from the very first frame. And as the story unfolded on screen, a story of fear, hope, and unconditional love, something shifted in Josh. He watched not just the movie, but his wife, seeing her transform before his eyes. It was in that moment Josh realized the depth of Autumn's calling. This wasn't a whim or a phase. This was a part of who she was, as essential to her being as breathing. And as those credits rolled, Josh turned to Autumn, his eyes shining with a new understanding. Okay, he said softly, his voice cracking with emotion. Let's do this.

Six days later, Autumn drove to the shelter to meet Mara for the first time. Her heart pounded as she walked through the doors, wondering what this girl would be like. Would they even connect? Would Mara even want to consider living with them? As they sat in Autumn's car, Mara began to share her story. She spoke of entering the foster care system, of all the different homes she had been in, of the experiences that had shaped her young life. And as she spoke, she picked at her skin, a nervous habit Autumn recognized in herself. I hurt for her, Autumn remembers, tears welling up in her eyes.

I wish she had never endured so many of the things she had in her young life. In a moment of pure emotion, Autumn stopped Mara mid-story. I needed her to know we already wanted her as part of our family, she says. She was already chosen. Tears filled both their eyes as the weight of those words settled between them. For Mara, who had known too much rejection in her young life, it was a lifeline. You're already chosen. For Autumn, it was a promise. To Mara, to herself, and to the dream she had held for so long.

We had a good cry that day together, Autumn recalls, her voice thick with emotion, and I walked away knowing I was capable of loving this girl in the same way I love my other two girls. Three weeks later, Mara and her caseworker arrived at the Moore home with all of Mara's belongings. The family was about to embark on a journey that would test their patience, expand their hearts, and redefine their understanding of family. As Mara settled into her new room, a space hastily prepared and painted in colors of her choosing, the reality of the situation began to sink in. This wasn't just about providing a roof over someone's head. It was about healing wounds, building trust, and showing Mara that she was worthy of unconditional love. But as Autumn helped Mara unpack, a realization hit her.

Mara had been in the foster system since she was 12 years old. And for four years, she had bounced from home to home, never knowing if she would ever find a place to truly belong. Could the Moors really provide what Mara needed? And how would Mara, who had given up on the idea of adoption, respond to this new chance at family? Autumn admits, the first week, well, it was a little strange. Mara fit in easily and we all got along fine, but essentially we were still strangers so while i'd like to say that it felt comfortable right away that wouldn't quite be true but as time progressed feelings of normalcy set in mara got a job excelled in school and made new

friends she achieved milestones that many take for granted getting her car permit then her license and even her first car i remember the day mara got her license autumn recalls eyes sparkling with pride we surprised her with a used car nothing fancy but it was hers and the look on her face it was like she couldn't believe someone would do something like that for her. In that moment, I saw a glimmer of hope in her eyes that I hadn't seen before. The dinner table became comedy central as Mara and her new sister Kaylee started cracking jokes almost every night. Our family loves to laugh. It can be a bit sarcastic,

Autumn shares. So Mara, she fits right in. She's like the queen of fast comebacks. The girl makes me laugh with her incredible wit. But it wasn't all smooth sailing. Fostering is messy. And sometimes, as Autumn autumn explains essentially you are bringing a child into your home who has possibly called many different places home they've experienced many different rules and parenting styles views within the family and cultural norms religion so many differences there were challenging days. Days when the weight of Mara's past experiences seemed too heavy to bear. Days when cultural differences led to misunderstandings. Days when the fear of rejection on both sides threatened to overwhelm the progress they had made.

Autumn recalls one particularly difficult night. Mara had a nightmare. She woke up screaming, and when I went to comfort her, she flinched away from me. It broke my heart to see how deeply her past traumas affected her. But we sat there, in the dark, until she was ready to let me hold her. And when she did, it felt like a breakthrough. But through it all, the Moores remained committed. They sought help when needed, celebrated small victories, and always, always made sure Mara knew she was loved. One day, during a family drive, Autumn had a moment of realization. As everyone laughed at one of Josh's corny jokes, she caught sight of Mara in the side view mirror, laughing hysterically. I was overwhelmed with gratitude, Autumn recalls, her voice thick with emotion. While everyone else was laughing, I was crying. I realized that our new normal was exactly how it was meant to be all along. The thought of Mara not being there with us made me sad to even think about. I couldn't picture our lives without her.

And I didn't want to. It was in this moment that Autumn knew, without a doubt, that Mara was meant to be a permanent part of their family. But there was still one crucial decision to be made, and it wasn't up to Autumn or Josh. When Mara was 12 years old, her parents permanently lost their parental rights, making her legally available for adoption. But at 17, the decision to be adopted was entirely up to Mara. At this point in her life, she had envisioned aging out of the system, Autumn explains. She had given up on the possibility of being adopted before even meeting us. Honestly, I think she had given up on the possibility of people really loving her for who she is.

The topic of adoption was a delicate one. Mara had been hurt too many times before, and the Moors were careful not to pressure her. They wanted her to know that their love was unconditional, whether she chose to be adopted or not. After many open and honest conversations, Mara made a choice that would change all their lives forever. She chose to be adopted. She chose to become a Moor. The day Mara told them her decision, there wasn't a dry eye in the house. Autumn recalls the moment vividly. Mara sat us all down after dinner.

She was fidgeting. She was nervous. And then she said, I want to be a more. For real? Forever. I don't think I've ever cried tears of joy like that before. I'm often asked if it was hard to bring a teenager into our home. If I'm answering honestly, the hardest part, selfishly, was missing out on the first 16 and a half years of her life. The hardest part is knowing the pain that she's endured in her young life and knowing that I can't make any of that go

away. On May 8th, 2020, via a Zoom call necessitated by the COVID-19 pandemic, Mara officially became a more. 2020 was a difficult year for so many with COVID, Autumn acknowledges, but for our family 2020 was a time for us to all grow closer to one another. 2020 was the year we officially went from a family of four to a family of five. The adoption day, though virtual, was filled with tears, laughter, and an overwhelming sense of love. Autumn recalls the moment the judge made it official when he said, I now pronounce Mara a legal member of the Moore family. It felt like my heart might burst. I looked at Mara's face on the screen, saw the tears in her eyes, and I knew this was always meant to be. Today, Mara is thriving. She's working ahead in school to graduate a year early, holding down a job and saving for her future, motivated to one day help children

who have experienced similar life situations. She tells me she will probably spend the night at least once a week because she will miss us, Autumn shares. And while some days I feel sad knowing that she will be moving out soon, I am also excited to watch her blossom into an adult. I'm ready to see what this next season looks like for all of us. She pauses and then she adds with a soft laugh. You know, sometimes I catch her looking at old family photos, the ones from before she came to us, and she'll say, it's weird to think there was a time when I wasn't a Moor. That's when I know we didn't just change her life. She changed ours. As for the Moors, they hope to continue

fostering children. Autumn also has ideas she hopes to turn into action to improve the foster care system. I believe we can do so much better, she says, not only for the youth in our system, but for the biological parents of these youth that are most likely a product of traumatic childhoods they never healed from themselves. As we come to the end of this journey, I want to leave you with a thought. Every day, there are children out there waiting for their Autumn and Josh, waiting for someone to see past their trauma, their challenges, their supposed baggage, and recognize the beautiful, worthy human beings they are. Maybe you're not in a position to foster or adopt. That's okay. But maybe, just maybe, you can be the person who sends that life-changing text. Because here's the truth. It takes a village to raise a child.

And for children in the foster system, that village needs to be all of us. Autumn's final words resonate with the power of her experience. Love isn't always easy. It's not always comfortable, but it's always worth it. Marta has taught us that family isn't about blood. It's about choice. Every day we choose each other. And every day I'm grateful for the text message that changed our lives. Thanks for listening to Love What Matters. You're listening to an iHeart Podcast.