Criminal - Captain's Orders (Criminal+)
Episode Date: February 12, 2026Phoebe tells a story about an uncooperative plane passenger. Plus, Lauren and Phoebe discuss what embarrasses Phoebe the most, the intentional vagueness of Criminal episode descriptions, and whether o...r not Phoebe is a "finger princess." If you enjoyed listening to today's Criminal Plus episode and you'd like more - join us on Patreon. We put these episodes with Phoebe and Lauren out twice a month - plus you'll have access to behind-the-scenes videos with Phoebe and Criminal producers, chat rooms, live events, and more. Right now, you can use the promo code "PLUS25" for 25% off of an annual membership. Thank you for supporting our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, it's Phoebe. Today we're sharing this week's new episode of Criminal Plus with all of our listeners.
We put these out twice a month, and our Criminal Plus members seem to really enjoy them.
They're very different than our regular criminal episodes, but we hope you'll enjoy listening in.
And if you'd like to sign up and get these episodes, plus support all of the work that we do here on Criminal, we hope you'll join us at patreon.com slash criminal.
There's a link in the show notes, too. And right now, you can use some.
special promo code plus 25 to get 25% off an annual membership. Again, the place to sign up is
patreon.com slash criminal. Okay, here we go. Welcome to Criminal Plus. I'm Phoebe Judge. I'm Lauren
Sporer. And Lauren, I have been wearing a jacket and long underwear all day today.
In North Carolina. The heat has been broken in my house for the past five days. I don't think that I have,
my body temperature has gotten above 72 in a week.
Freezing cold.
Where's the repair?
It's, you know, I feel like when a state that isn't prepared for cold weather has a spell of cold weather,
crisis and chaos pops up at every corner.
And to get someone here, it's like you're asking someone to build the Empire State Building.
We're trying to get someone here, but it is freezing cold, which is why I have been wearing a jacket for a week.
Lauren, I can't believe I didn't tell you about the story.
I believe that I did document this in kind of real time as it was happening when I was on the airplane,
but I never actually got to tell you what happened.
No, I never heard.
We have been hearing, I would say, since the end of the pandemic, about airline passengers getting
unruly in ways that I had never heard before.
Do you agree?
Yes.
Draged off.
Brawls breaking out on airplanes.
And I hadn't really seen any of this behavior until a couple of weeks ago.
I was sitting on an airplane.
And I really couldn't afford for the plane to take off two lakes.
I was trying to get somewhere.
and if the plane was going to be too late, I might as well just scrap the whole trip.
So I'm sitting on an airplane, and just like you, I am at all attention at all times during a flight.
You are at a – your attention is peaked for another reason, which is just complete fear.
Keep the plane in the air.
Keep the plane, fear and panic.
Mine is just curiosity.
I want to know what's going on.
Because you and I travel an awful lot, and I have been a Delta loyalist for 25 years, a very high state,
status on Delta, diamond status, which has now...
You are not diamond.
I have been diamond since 2003.
Oh, my God.
But I'm not anymore.
I just got kicked down to platinum.
That's a whole other story.
But anyway, so I'm diamond status.
And if you have a high status on...
What are the perks?
Upgrades.
Diamond.
Free upgrades.
The diamonds, yes.
You just get buckets of diamonds.
No, really, what do you get free upgrades?
So you buy whatever ticket, and if you're diamond, you're very likely to get upgraded no
matter what. You are almost certain to get Delta comfort upgraded. You are very likely to get
upgraded to first class. I think that's a perk of living in North Carolina that people don't think
about is that if we lived in New York City, we would not be, we would not have any status. But because
how many people are flying from R.D.U. to Boston at 6 a.m. And so the likelihood of getting
upgraded is higher. Right. I mean, if you were trying to go to Atlanta, I never get upgraded.
But if I'm trying to go somewhere like Chicago,
Dallas. Memphis. You know, very good chance I'm going to get. Anyway, so I had been upgraded. So I was sitting in the first row, which is why I was so privy. My favorite seat.
One, I was in one C. So I'm there on the aisle, and all of the sudden, one of the flight attendants comes past me. The boarding door is still open. And the flight attendant says to the other, there's a female flight attendant, says to the male flight attendant, we have a problem. And immediately my ears just, I am.
at attention. And she said, there's a man in the exit row who will not give me verbal confirmation
that he is agreeing to participate. You know, when you sit in the exit row, the flight attendants
come to you and they say, can I have everyone's attention? And you are supposed to look at them
and then give verbal confirmation. Are you willing and able to assist in, and you're supposed to say,
yes, I will. This man, apparently, so she said this, and I, she said he's refusing to take his
headphones off, he won't look at me, and he will not give me verbal confirmation that he is willing
and able to assist in the event and emergency. And she said, I don't know what to do, but he's going
to have to move. He's going to have to move. He can't sit there. And the other flight attendant,
the male flight attendant, who had been at the front, who I think was maybe the lead,
the lead flight attendant said, okay, let's just put him in another seat. And she said, well, I would
really like if someone else could go and talk to him because he's just like not, he's not
listening to me, he's refusing to move to another seat. He's just not. And I can't have him sit there.
He's not complying. Which I think, as we've heard about, there are air marshals and there are
secret Delta representative, airline representatives, sometimes fly on planes. And I can imagine that
that would be a requirement. And if you would want to make sure that everyone had complied.
So another man, another flight attendant says, I'll go talk to moving seats. Now, in the meantime,
the captain had come out of the cockpit.
He was going to use the bathroom.
I don't like it when they do that.
Once they go in there and close the door, I want them to stay in there.
Well, the boarding door is still open.
So the captain had come out and said, what's going on?
And the lead flight attendant said,
we have a problem with the passenger who will not comply with exit row instructions.
And the pilot said, well, then he's off the plane.
And I heard the pilot say this, and I thought,
something is this is going to what this is actually going to happen on a flight i'm on so the flight
attendant who had gone back to kind of say to the man you're going to have to move seats you can't
sit there or you're going to have to be get off the plane uh agreed unwillingly he came and he moved
two seats two rows behind me where there was an open seat and the flight they were like sir even
though you're creating a huge problem we're going to move you to first class he i think decided to
pick his own empty seat. He, you know, he, yes, he did. I mean, but it wasn't. So he got like a present.
I don't think they said what seat you could choose to. I think they said, you're going to have to
move to an empty seat. And he just said, well, then I'm going right here. You know, he kept saying,
I paid for an extra room seat, which was exit row, you know, you pay for a preferred. So he sits down
and the flight attendant comes back to the lead flight attendant says, okay, he's moved seats. And the lead flight attendant says to this other flight attendant,
the captain says he's off the flight.
And the flight assistant says, well, he's already moved, like he's not going to get off the flight.
And the lead flight assistant says, well, if he won't get off the flight, then we'll have to call the police.
And then the gate agent comes on the plane.
And the gate agent says, well, you know if we call the police, we have to de-board the whole entire plane.
Oh, my God.
The minute the cops come on to the plane, everyone has to get off.
And I'm thinking, this is, what do I do?
So they go back to the man and they say, excuse me, sir, you're actually.
have to get off the plane. Like, you can't take this flight. The man comes right up to the front
there, you know, the little area and says, I'm not leaving. I pay for this. He said, let me talk to
the pilot. I want to talk to the pilot. And I am right there. I'm one C. I'm right there.
And I'm thinking, this is maybe a little wild to me, but I'm thinking if things do start getting
heated, I could get an elbow in the eye. I didn't know what to think. I was ready. So I think
he's going to kind of storm the cockpit now.
The pilot comes out as very, he's this Australian.
The pilot agrees to speak with him.
Fascinating.
He's this Australian, young Australian man, the pilot,
and says, he said, you tell me why I have to get off.
I bought this ticket.
I'm not getting off this plane.
I am not getting off this plane.
And the pilot said, I'm very sorry, sir, but that's my decision.
And we need people to comply, and that is my decision.
You're going to have to leave the flight.
Did you know that pilots had this kind of power?
I didn't, but it was very interesting.
I didn't.
Because the way that the lead flight attendant said it to the other flight said the pilot says he's off.
Fascinating.
No.
And once the pilot says that, he's off.
So the guy's not going anywhere.
He's not going anywhere.
He's demanding.
He's getting confrontational with the pilot.
And the pilot says, you can either get off this plane or I'm going to call or we're calling the police.
And the man says, call the police.
And I'm thinking to myself, now that's not the decision I would.
make. I would just take it up with Delta representatives 1-800 and get off the plane. And I'm also
thinking, if he doesn't get off this plane and the cops come, I'm screwed, totally screwed,
and what is going to happen? Are they going to take him away in handcuffs? So he's standing right
there. And then the gate agent. I don't know what the gate agent does. The gate agent who's
in the mix says, sir, why don't we just talk right here? That's fine. Why don't we just talk right here?
And the man slowly, like just the gate agent is talking to him and the man's following, gets him to the jet bridge right in.
And the flight attendants slam the door shut up.
I'm not kidding you.
They slam the door shut.
And they say we're, the pilot says, we're going.
Isn't that interesting?
Did they make any kind of announcement?
Not one announcement.
Was the mood sort of chuckling or angry?
What was the mood?
The fascinating thing was that the men all around me.
had their headphones on and were not paying attention.
It seemed to me like I was the only one documenting this wild.
People back in 23 had no idea what was going on.
It was a really, but it was just...
I still would have known if I was in 23rd.
Your radar would be up.
But the interesting thing was to learn that the pilot does have that total authority to say,
you're out of here.
And that the gate agent, that they didn't even have to do any formal documentation,
all the gate agent had to do was lure him off the plane.
And they slowly walk back.
Yep, and they slammed that big front door shut and we were gone on our way to Chicago.
Well, I received some text messages, but I had no idea that that was the originating incident.
That was the full, I mean, my text messages, knowing me, they could have been.
They were a little dramatic, but I knew that.
I knew who I was dealing with as a storyteller, so I was able to sort of filter it through that.
Your favorite storyteller owner.
That's right.
And you also did send some photos.
I took a video.
Have you seen these videos online, these like sort of comedy videos of people's eagerness,
like people holding their trash on an airplane, like eagerly waiting their turn to like politely,
hand it so efficiently and quickly to the flight attendant that I can relate to that
when I am sitting in an emergency exit row and I'm waiting for them to make eye contact with me
so I can immediately and efficiently give my verbal consent.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Notting.
Headphones off.
fully respectful listening.
So the idea, even can you imagine
being one of the people
sitting next to that guy?
I know.
Lauren, we,
I was also thinking
in the middle of the night last night
about something that we were trying out,
which I was initially worried about.
Because it's something
we've never done before.
You mean telling everyone
what's coming up?
Yeah.
So this is a post on Patreon
where we describe
all of the criminal episodes,
all of the love episodes,
So it's giving subscribers a look at the whole month ahead, everything that's coming out on all the shows.
I mean, for so long, the fun thing about both of these shows and having these anthology shows is that, you know, we get to surprise listeners, right?
Every week, you don't know if it's going to be a story from 1800s or 2015.
A man, a woman, funny, serious.
That's always felt like a fun thing to me.
And so, yeah, I did wonder if that would be a bummer to let people know what was coming up.
But I don't think it's so spoiler-ish. It's more just like, hey, thank you for your support.
You know, here's all the ways which we're going to make really good on it this month.
Here's everything coming up.
Well, let us know. If you are kind of closing your eyes and not looking at those emails and those posts, which are telling you what's coming up, please let me know.
Because I'm kind of in your camp that I don't really want it. I mean, I really do know.
We talked about we could do it as a look back or we could do it mid-month to split the difference.
So it's in progress.
We remember we asked in a previous episode, do people like our episodes being, our episode descriptions being a little bit vague or would they like to have, you know, a lot more concrete info about what's in this episode? And overwhelmingly their response was, we love it vague. We love it. But then some people did say that after they, they, they like the surprise of listening to the episode having no idea what's coming, but that then when they want to go back and find something from years later, they sort of wish that there was, they could have it both ways, that there would be like a more concrete way to search, which frankly there is.
is now that we have really, really up-to-date transcripts.
So you could search for something more concrete.
You could also always just email us.
We're really fast about saying, oh, you're thinking of this one.
Here's the link.
I get a text from friends a lot.
Was there an episode about a school bus?
Someone stole a school bus?
What one was that?
That happens to me a couple times a week.
Last episode, we inaugurated a new reading group.
We started with a Hemingway short story, which was this was born out of controversy that I said,
haven't we all heard enough about Ernest Hemingway?
And you challenged me to read a short story, and we put it up for everyone on Patreon.
We read the story.
We read a short story, a very, very short story called Indian Camp by Ernest Hemingway.
And Phoebe, I have to hand it to you.
You were right.
About.
It is very good.
This is the story of a, well, this is one of the Nick Adams stories.
It's a young.
It's the first Nick Adams story.
It's a young boy traveling with his father and an uncle, his father's a doctor, to, in the middle of the night, to an Indian camp where there's a woman who's struggling to give birth.
And it's kind of what happens in this room while Nick is looking at this.
seen, you know, something, a little boy watching a woman really struggling to deliver a baby.
And that's pretty much, I mean, it's a very quiet story.
I think it, I was surprised. It was, I felt sort of like such a cliche because I was so
surprised how many times it would move, it would just move away from the action. And I thought
that was very, very sad and very good. And I was like, oh, right, this is the whole thing that
made him so famous. Here's what I think.
Just keep a little book of those short stories near you, Lauren, and just open it up, you know, and pick a story every once in a while.
You might be surprised.
I have to admit, I was really surprised.
So what's the next one that I should read?
Oh, I don't want, no, no, you're going to tell us a short story to read.
I mean, what I want ever.
No, I mean, the next Hemingway.
I thought it was a very, I thought it was a real, real, whole emotional experience for so few pages.
I really have to hand it to you.
The short happy life of Francis Maycomber.
Okay.
I'm not going to say that's an upper, but a big-to-hearted river, I love that.
And that's one I'm going to recommend, and I'm going to think you're going to come back and say, that one didn't.
That didn't do it for me, Phoebe, but maybe.
There is, I know you're going to recommend a short story, but I think we've talked about this before.
You and I both have a hard time talking about this specific short story, which, um,
is the saddest thing I have read, and that's Miss Brill, the Catherine Mansfield short story.
Yeah, I think we should just make that the next pick.
I haven't read it in a long time.
And we both love it.
Yes, absolutely.
Should we do that?
Okay, so I've picked Indian Camp Hemingway.
Now we'll pick one that both Phoebe and Lauren do come together on that we've discussed this short story for years now.
And it's one of my...
What year was Indian camp, like 1939?
No, earlier.
No.
Oh, yes, 1919.
1924, wow.
Okay, Indian Camp was 1924, and Miss Brill is from 1920.
Get ready to have some sort of an experience.
I'm not going to tell you what type of experience you're going to have reading Miss Brill.
But there's nothing I've read that has given me more compassion for people, I think.
There's something about it that is pretty heartbreaking.
It's for you in particular, I feel like it's really like a touch point for you.
You're not the most emotional person.
A lot of times in my life I'll reference Miss Brill.
And I have to you before, you know, I said that I can't.
It's Miss Brill.
And the reason is because there was a woman who I used to see with my sister Chloe,
who reminded me of a Miss Brill character.
And she was always at the cultural center in Chicago where my mother worked.
And so when things are too much, too sad, too lonely, remind me too much of times when I've been lonely or tried too hard and no one cared, I say that's cultural center.
And that's kind of the inside lingo for, I can't talk about it, it's too much, it's too miss braille.
Anyway, okay, so that'll be our next.
And then you'll pick the next one.
All right, Ms. Brill.
Phoebe, in the last episode, you referred to your daily smoothie, and we got a note from a listener named Jessica asking for the recipe.
Oh, very simple.
Three scoops of, well, I'm not a serving of your protein powder of choice.
I use one because it has no flavor.
It's made with mung beans.
I hate an artificially sweet protein powder or a flavored.
protein powder. So I use this one called one, but you could, I think they also make the fake
eggs, which I kind of like. A buke's any protein powder of your choice. I'm going to recommend that you
go, you know, for a higher protein without added sugar. I then, one scoop of creatine,
leave it out or not, one tablespoon of flaxseed, one tablespoon of chia seed. You're doing all this
measuring first thing in the morning? I know it pretty little back of my hand now. Yeah, it's pretty
simple. And then I put in about a cup of, maybe sometimes a cup and a half of I'm feeling wild,
of frozen wild main blueberries. This is key. It can't be just organic blueberries, wild main blueberries.
Wild main blueberries. Canada's okay also. I get the bag at Costco, but Wyman's makes one.
You can make them. Trader Joe's has a wild main, I think it's a wild blueberry from Canada.
but that's the key, key component.
About two tablespoons of Greek yogurt, 0% fat Greek yogurt, which I use that F-A-G-E-E-E.
Is it pronounced like Faya?
Faya?
You use anyone you want, but again, plain, unfavored, no sugar.
And about a quarter of a banana.
And then I used to put in coconut water, but I don't anymore.
I just fill it up with some filtered water right to the top, and you blend it up.
And that's the smoothie.
You do drink it every single day.
Every single day.
All right.
Yeah, every single day.
Thank you, Jessica.
Phoebe also, on the subject of Miss Brill and Cultural Center,
I wanted to ask you three questions from the New York Times artist series.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
Question number one.
What embarrasses you?
Dancing.
Ooh.
Karaoke.
Anything performative like that.
Which is so funny because you stand on a stage holding a microphone.
Yeah, but that's different.
Dancing. What if you needed to do formal dancing, could you enjoy that?
Yeah, if I was following a pattern, I could do line dancing.
You know, people do, no, I could because it's following something. Do this, do that.
It's more kind of a, you know, feeling the spirit of something in dance.
The idea of ecstatic dancing makes me want to have a heart attack.
You know, it's that type of a situation.
All right.
Question number two, what are you reading?
Well, boy, I just finished that wonderful book about the winter.
I am reading, which I haven't gotten to talk to you about yet, which is kind of a giveaway because I really am thinking we should do this for criminal.
I am reading a book about murders in Greensboro, North Carolina, called Bitter Blood.
The crimes we've never talked about before?
We've never talked about them before.
This is a book that came out in 1988 by a newspaper reporter in Greensboro, North Carolina, Jerry Bledsoe.
And it's detailing this rash of murders in wealthy Southern families.
I have no idea why we haven't come across this.
The book is about 1,000 pages long.
And I have been told that it is riveting and the writing is fantastic.
And I just started it last night.
Where did you get it?
A friend brought it over.
He had read it.
He had a cold and read it in three days.
I think it's out of print and brought it over.
And I just thought it looked interesting.
I picked it up.
This is what we need.
We need to return to our roots of basing episodes on old out-of-print books.
Well, I got a lot of that at the beginning.
I remember I used to volunteer at the library and all the old ladies would set aside the most terrifying crime books and give them to me.
And we would usually not use them, but sometimes we did.
I'm back. I've got one for you. It's a thousand pages, but I'm really, it's a little, sometimes around here we use the, we say cultural center, but we also say it's a little people.com. You know what I mean? It's a little people.com in a good way. So that is what I mean.
The thing is everything that's people.com doesn't have to be done. Like people.com. That's true. All right. Question number three, whose work makes you the most jealous?
Lauren's Bore
Oh, Phoebe
Wow, I didn't even miss a beat
Tip of my tongue
I think
Everyone's work makes me jealous
I feel like I'm constantly thinking
How did they do that in everything
Every little thing, writing and music
and films
And I always think to that
How did they do that? Boy, isn't that good?
So I can't tell you because I think about it all the time
Well, I was going to say someone's work who didn't make me jealous was the Night Manager season two.
Boy, I finished the last episode.
What was that wild shot of Olivia Coleman?
I was upset.
I was, like, frustrated by the end of the season, and I was really enjoying it, and I thought the finale was terrible.
It was so violent, and there was, like, no even kernel of curiosity for us.
I thought it was horrible.
Dickie wins again.
I mean, I was like, what are we meant to read into the sun's facial expression?
Like, I was like, where is the gravity of this?
Why are you subjecting us to this with no, nothing of interest?
I didn't think.
Well, he's just a monster, right?
Just a monster guy character.
Well, no, but that's not good enough.
Listen, I didn't like it either.
I was thinking, though, and I was realizing that, you know, there's this big fad about the show The Pipped.
I can't watch it because I don't like blood.
Well, I do like blood. I do like the show. And when I was growing up, we were only allowed to watch one television program a week during the weekdays. And it was ER.
How did you agree? Three children?
It was there was no need for agreement. I mean, we were just all on the same page. It was a very clear. Oh, absolutely. Very clear choice. But I realized that this show, they're doing something different. They're not putting them all out at the same time.
They're putting them out once a week.
And I realized they put this show out Thursdays at 9 p.m.
It comes every week.
It's the same exact time that ER was put out, was aired.
9 o'clock central, so 10 o'clock Eastern, every Thursday night it would come out.
For years, that's when ER came out.
And now that's what the pit is doing to.
9 o'clock Thursday nights.
I thought that was kind of a nice, I mean, maybe I'm making this up that that it's just
a coincidence, but I don't think so. It's weirding me out that during our childhoods, our destination
television watching times would not have been the same. I know. I always thought to myself,
isn't that people on the East Coast? Isn't that odd? Like, they have to stay up so late. It was always,
and now that I live on the East Coast and I'm East Coast time, it is very strange. I still think about
that. You know what also dated maybe you and me? We were in a pitch meeting the other day,
And I brought up, I've been thinking about the Tylenol murders and how we wanted to do that story forever and that the crime was interesting, I guess, but what was really interesting was the panic and how people changed people's, you know, shopping habits, changed how pill bottles, everything, the fallout of the crime.
And I started thinking about jack in the box.
Do you remember the Jack in the Box, the outbreak, the E. coli that many people died.
And we were in this meeting, pitch meeting, and I said, I think it'd be really interesting to do something about Jack in the Box and how even to this day I would never go to Jack in the Box.
And I was shocked at how few people in the team knew about Jack in the Box.
You mean knew about the brand at all?
Or just the big Jack in the Box, the story, which I feels like seared into my mind.
to this day, don't you?
Yeah, absolutely.
It also just what a terrible brand.
Like a sort of nightmarish?
Yeah.
Yes, I've never been, so I don't know how the food is.
But I think we may try to do a jack-in-the-box story, again, focusing on, yes, the cover-up that the company tried to do,
but also the fallout that happened.
Do you think about people just stopped going to this major, major chain?
because they didn't know and they didn't know and the mystery of why people were getting sick.
When was that?
Okay, wait, let me see.
1993, a major corporate crisis from an E. coli outbreak.
Wow, the largest and deadliest food crisis associated with restaurants to this day.
It resulted in the deaths of four children and it made more than 700 people sick in multiple states.
I think we're going to do the story.
I think there's so many different interesting angles for that story.
So we haven't recorded no interviews for that.
And I just brought it up in a pitch meeting yesterday, but I would like to do some research and digging on Jack in the Box.
I mean, the panic I feel if I open any kind of sealed food package and it seems like it's even slightly damaged or like the seal is in some way imperfect.
How about this wild panic that happens to me often? It happened to me yesterday.
You get into the car and you have your water bottle there and your water bottle is open and there's a sip gone.
and you, but not a big sip
and you can't remember if you took a sip
or if this is full of chemicals,
this is poison.
But why does that happen when you get into the car?
What are you talking about?
Like you left it in the car?
Like I took a little bottle.
The storm was happening,
so we had some extra bottled water.
I'm trying to drink through it.
And so I grabbed it
and maybe I took a sip
as I was leaving the house,
getting into the car,
or maybe someone else took a sip.
And I was telling you the story,
another airplane story, the time I was sitting on a Delta flight, and they give you these little bottles of water.
And I was sitting next to a man, and I took a sip of the little bottle of water and realized that it was his.
And then what?
Had he already taken a sip?
Yes.
Oh.
And I didn't know what.
I just thought to myself, what happens now?
Nomania, bubonic plague.
I just had this.
Yeah, I played it.
Yeah, of course I, yeah, I played it straight.
What was I going to do?
Make a big deal with it?
You could have said to him, I'm so sorry.
I think I just took a sip of your water, so he wouldn't drink after you.
No, you didn't do that.
You did nothing.
In our last episode, I said I wanted to inaugurate a new feature, which is called headlines with Lauren,
where I tell you some news that you might appreciate and you might have missed.
So last time I told you that since 2013, Costco has had Pepsi in the food court,
but now they are returning to having Coke.
And frankly, we got a lot of response from other people who were also excited.
excited about that. So I was happy to share. So I have some more headlines with Lauren for you today.
First object is a term I saw online called Finger Princess, and I'm not trying to drag you,
but I think that you might be one. Do you know what this is? No. It's Korean slang for someone
who will not look something up that is very obvious. So if you're in a group, if you're in like a
group chat and someone says, like, let's meet at the restaurant at seven, and then like three
messages later, someone will say, when and where are we meeting? So, like, basically, it's the
friend who wants other people to do the research for them, even if it's something simple.
I think this is you. A finger princess? Yes, you will say, what was the name of that episode,
even though you're just as capable of any of us, as any of us, of Googling it? Oh, I will,
okay, so instead of me going back and looking, I'll just say, Lauren, we, 100% true.
Like, Katie Bishop can tell you. You'll be like, what time is the meeting? And I'm like, well, you also have a calendar. We're on the same invitation.
Katie Bishop, every single month, we're doing expense reports. And some are on mine and some are on hers. And every month I say to her, you know, Katie, can you tell me the New Yorker, the New York Times? Can you tell me the New York Times blog in again?
Yeah. And then maybe if she doesn't respond to you fast enough, you'll text me and say, what's the password for the criminal New York Times account?
But we all have access to the same place.
We can all get it from the exact same place with the same amount of effort.
So you, Phoebe Judge, are a finger princess.
Yeah, okay.
Headline number two.
Did you know that there was a new planet that was found that is quite similar to Earth?
It is the same radius, and it moves at a similar speed around a star.
So they're saying that it is the earthiest planet.
Yet.
Not surprised.
This is the first planet candidate with an Earth-like radius and orbital properties.
And so they're saying it is going to, it is bright enough and it is worthy of substantial follow-up observations.
Same size as Earth.
It has, it orbits a nice orange star in one year, give or take, and it's in a habitable zone.
Although they said like at the far, far edge of what's a habitable zone.
I thought that was really exciting news.
146 light years away.
What country has the most lakes on earth?
Can I have a clue?
You wouldn't expect it.
Greenland.
In the right-ish area.
Iceland.
Canada.
You and I went to a museum that overlooked this country across a body of water.
Oh, Sweden?
Sweden.
Fascinating.
We went to a beautiful museum called Louisiana in Denmark, but from the museum you can see Sweden.
That was a good clue.
Thank you.
Well, Lauren, I have been enjoying headlines with Lauren.
I hope that you bring some next time.
Great.
Thank you.
And what about three favorite things?
What have you been enjoying lately?
I can start.
I'll say a show I was enjoying and I'm no longer enjoying was the night manager.
I all due respect to the creators, but that didn't work for me.
So then afterwards, I just really needed something that was going to be.
upbeat. So something I've been enjoying lately is the studio. Have you watched this? The Seth Rogen
comedy? I tried. And what happened? Didn't like it. I mean, after that finale of the night manager,
this is exactly the speed that I am looking for. It has tons of celebrities playing themselves,
making fun of themselves. It moves really fast. The costumes are really funny. Like,
the costumes sort of make it look, his costumes make it look like it's set in the 70s, but it's not.
And then Catherine Hahn is the brightest light.
of that show, and her performance is exquisite.
It's really difficult to watch Seth Rogen be so bad at his job, but very, very funny and well done, I think.
That show is a pick-me-up.
The first thing that I've been enjoying lately is watching not just the televised best in group, Westminster.
dog show, but you can go online and type in any dog breed and watch the breed
judging as well. You know what I'm saying? So if you had a special interest for me,
Black Russian Terriers, I could go and type 2026 Westminster Dog Show, Black Russian Terrier
judging, and I get to see the group judging as well, which is really, really interesting
to see dogs that look so similar and to figure out why the
one that was picked was picked.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Are you saying the dog show itself is edited,
and so you can sort of see the outtakes that might be of interest to you?
Well, what you can see is, you know, let's say you have the working group,
which I have an interest in the working group.
Every breed of the, let's say, 30 breeds that are comprised of the working group has a winner.
So there is a Black Russian Terrier, and there's a Tibetan Mastiff and everything else.
Oh, I don't think I realize that.
Yeah, they have won earlier that day in a group of 20 other Black Russian Terriers.
Do you know what I'm saying?
They redeemed the best of their breed, and now their breed is going to try to be the best of the working group.
So you can go back and put in a little chihuahuas, any dog you like, Dalmatians, and just get to see which of these.
And I think that's kind of fun.
Okay, that's a great.
Okay, that's a good one.
My number two is a natural deodorant, and I won't go into too much detail here, but I've tried them all, and I thought it was a lost cause, but I'm enjoying one. It's called, the brand is called Nala, N-A-L-A, and the one I got is Sandalwood and Bergamont, and I think it works.
I have strong opinions on deodorant, and I have been a loyalist to one for many years.
I know. I like it, too.
It's not cheap.
The smell of that one is pretty strong.
in a good way.
It is a great smell, and I have myself asked you, what perfume are you wearing?
And the answer is the ASOP deodorant.
ESOP, I forgot.
What is it again?
I say ASOP.
That's not right, though.
I'm just going to keep saying ASAP.
Anyway, it does smell great, but that is strong.
The smell is too strong sometimes.
Like you're getting your car and you're like, I can't breathe.
My number two is a new development in my life, which I'm not going to say is going to be practical.
for many of the people, maybe listening to this, who are living in apartments or in cities,
or don't have an interest that would want them to buy one of these.
I have recently become the new owner of something called a green egg.
Oh, the grill.
The grill.
This was given to us by people who are moving who couldn't take it.
And so I've been intimidated by this thing.
It looks like a gigantic ceramic egg.
it's green. And it does things, it acts like a grill, but also like a smoker in an oven. And I was
very intimidated by it. But I decided in the middle of the snowstorm last weekend, which was
really an on event, that, but I was grilling in the snow, which I love to do, that I would take
my time and try to do it right. And I smoked a spatch cocked chicken. Oh, my God. And I had,
Our lives are just so different.
And I had a great time, and I took my time, and I did it slowly, and I did it right, and I didn't rush.
I rushed through everything and make a mess of things a lot.
And I thought it turned out really well.
So I have been enjoying learning how to use a green egg, and this is a plug for grilling outside in cold weather.
It's one of my favorite things.
Make yourself some sort of summer barbecue outside, a meal that you would usually have in the summer.
do it this weekend, even if it's cold, bring it in, and you'll just be happy.
I was very surprised, as we had two recent snowstorms in North Carolina, the sort of emphasis
in the local news on not bringing your grill indoors.
And I was like, God, I just don't know, that would never even occur to me.
Apparently, it's the cause of major asphyxiation every year and house fires.
Because people think they can do two things at once, warm their house and cook their dinner.
Anyway, my number three is a book by Marilyn Robinson called The Givenness of Things.
It's a book of essays.
And she has a sort of thesis that we're living in a time of what she calls joyless urgency,
where we are obsessed with being busy and freaking out all the time.
Constant anxious busyness, obsession with productivity, and a lack of personal fulfillment.
And so far, I think the book is really beautifully written.
So it's my number three.
The third thing that, I feel like I'm recommending things, and you're going to think I'm just kind of a supplement
nut, you know, I talked about, but is a vitamin, or maybe it's a supplement. It's called
L-theonine. Have you heard about it? Well, I know that it's naturally found in green tea,
and it's supposed to be why green tea promotes a feeling of well-being or like helps with
anxiety. And sleep. And so I've been taking L-theonine, and I highly recommend it.
What's the, what's the pill?
It's a pill
I did have a dream
the other night
that I was at a Dave Matthews concert by myself
Now that is Cultural Center
Yeah
So
I
Or you're dancing
I wasn't really
I wasn't really dancing
But no I wasn't dancing
I was loitering
But I
God knows how I got to a Dave Matthews
concert by myself, and I think it might be the El Thienine. I don't know how I could have gone there. Wow. I mean,
that's great. Have you ever been to a Dave Backe's concert? No, absolutely not. I attended one when I was
15 years old in West Palm Beach, Florida, and it was wonderful. You know, I see pictures of people
who go to these, Dave Matt, and they seem to be in a happier place. Yeah, that's what I remember. I
remember people literally, like, collaboratively tossing a beach ball in the air with, like, palm trees everywhere. I
an outdoor concert.
It's a, it's a, is it a grateful dead fish light?
You know, it's in that same realm of, it feels a little bit more, um, it has like an
overtone of sports that I don't think we get.
I think it's a little bit more ultimate frisbee infused.
Not a care in the world.
Well, thank you all very much for listening.
Again, you can always get in touch with hello at this iscriminal.com.
833, 822-7850.
We love to hear from you.
And great news.
Just got a text.
What?
The heating man is on his way.
There you go.
There you go.
Bye-bye.
