Criminal - Jiminy Crickets

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Here's a little preview of what we’re making over on Criminal Plus! We’re having a lot of fun making these bonus episodes. In each one, Criminal co-creator Lauren Spohrer and I take your questions and talk about what’s happening behind the scenes – and anything else that comes up. Recently we’ve talked about the only time I’ve ever stopped an interview, unusual gift ideas, Lauren’s love of sheet cakes, how to fall asleep, and some unwelcome guests in my studio. When you sign up for Criminal Plus, you’ll also get ad-free listening on all of the shows we make, access to an exclusive merch store, and more. If you sign up as a Premium member, you’ll also get to attend virtual live events. Learn more and sign up at thisiscriminal.com/plus. Thanks for your support! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So for the past four months, since June, the studio that we usually made off the side of my garage and converted this room, which has worked really well. I think it worked better than any of us thought it was going to work until about two weeks ago. And two weeks ago, I would say something biblical started happening in this room. And it started out, I just thought, what is that? And I didn't really know what was happening. But then people who were in Zoom meetings with me, or I'd be with someone, and we'd be doing an interview, and they kind of chat to me, Phoebe, what is, I'm hearing a chirp. And I said, oh, I don't know. It's just outside. And they said, okay. And it really escalated.

That was a little bit of one of our recent bonus episodes, which you get when you subscribe to Criminal Plus. We're having a lot of fun making these, and we thought you might like to hear what they sound like. Recently, we've talked about the only time I've ever stopped an interview, unusual gift ideas, Lauren's love of sheet cakes, how to fall asleep, and, as you just heard, a recent problem in my studio. Here's more. You could not have helped telling me, Dorian, all the... Oh, my God. Dorian.

Oh, my God. Five million crickets and so for the past two weeks my whole life has been just trying to not absolutely lose control over these crickets and the thing about a microphone and this microphone is that it picks up everything right right? Like this is a studio, it's supposed to be silent and it's going to pick up every noise and you really hear a cricket. And it's so frequent that it's like not possible to cut them out individually. So what happened unbeknownst to me is that people on our team... The crickets made a family. I mean, the... It's a miracle of life. The crickets have a colony.

It's not a family. It's a city. But what was going on behind the scenes is that people were making secret cuts, you know, pulling clips of how I was reacting to the crickets. So we have a clip that Susanna Robertson, she just pulled this and put it up on the Slack channel, Criminal General, as just I don't know why she pulled it, but this is what

she pulled. Criminal is created by Lauren Spohr and me. Nadia Wilson is our senior producer. Katie Bishop is our supervising producer. Katie Bishop is our supervising producer. That is so loud. Oh my gosh, Phoebe. I'm so sorry. I don't know what, like, I mean, it doesn't...

Oh, the hour and 45 minutes it took me to record Dorian Gray yesterday. Do you see it? It's right here. It's like it's right here next to it. It's like it's sitting right on my desk. It's so loud. I don't understand how it can be that loud. So then I do this.

And try to scare it. And it's quiet for about four seconds. So we have a lot of that, and then I just— Have you done any research into what message is a cricket sending? It's rubbing its legs together. But what is the message? Hi. No, I think it's—

I want to be a podcaster. I don't know what the message is. Oh, they chirp to... Males chirp to attract a female. Oh, it is they're making a new city. You're right. The city's here. Why do they chirp?

Why do crickets chirp constantly? Mating call. Why do crickets stop chirping when you get close? They're aware of a potential threat. Well, then I hope that I have been posing a major threat by the amount of banging I've done. Oh, this says they sing out of love and anger. Lauren, do you know— You might be in a sort of battle with them.

My least favorite thing is when people read off of Google. And that's what you're doing right now. Well, we've been talking about these crickets for weeks, and none of us have asked, what does the cricket want? So the crickets have been an absolute major problem for the past two weeks. I cannot, you know what? It's the only reason that I'm Okay Fall is here. That's it. Because maybe- You think that crickets go away in the fall? Yes. I think they have to go away in the fall. Okay.

So everything has been a little more difficult. things have taken a little longer because you just have to wait and you bang and you get a couple of seconds of silence and then they're back well what i told myself in the beatrix potter mix was that um the crickets added something it added a sort of bistro, string lights, cafe feel to your narration. It was also raining the day that the Beatrix Potter tracks, and I think because— That also, I think, adds to the romance of our visit to— The Lake District. To the Lake District. That was a rainy—all of our tape, we were soaking wet. We were poured rain on all day long in real life.

And it was March. It was cold. Some call it soundscaping. It was very kind of Jane Eyre-esque, I thought. Kind of Wuthering Heights, Sense and Sensibility, the best Jane Austen book ever. And movie. Anyway, so we— Kate Winslet soaking wet on that hill in the movie of Sense and Sensibility is burned into my mind. Oh, how about the soundtrack that I had? I also owned the soundtrack. I also owned a printed book of the screenplay. I own the movie poster. On the wall?

Yes. Oh my God. What was on the poster? I can't remember if it was Emma Thompson. It must have been all of them. It must have been all of them. But I do believe— Did Alan Rickman make it onto the poster? I don't think Alan Rickman. I hope for his sake that he did. I do believe, I don't have any reason to know this or feel this, but that Emma Thompson is probably a fantastic human being.

I think she's very cool. Anyway, so this week, that Beatrix Potter episode did come out where Lauren and I went to the Lake District. And we, in that episode, it's an episode of love. In that episode, we play some tape of what the driving conditions were like. And I just have to tell you that that is the smallest glimpse of what actually was occurring for the week in that car. How many times were you scared that we were on the brink of a head-on collision? Three or four, really? I think I was most afraid of you, like, you, I felt like you were always about to run my side of the car into a brick wall. Like, you were so far over all the time. So it was a lot of me just saying like, you're too

far over. Also, I was trying to, there were a lot of roundabouts, as I recall, and that we, you and I had a lot of trouble communicating. Like if there are five ways to get out of the roundabout, I would be like, take your, take the second one. And, and then you would miss it. Or maybe I communicated wrong. We really couldn't communicate about these roundabouts, and it ended in just, like, cussing, like, silence. Like, it was so tense for so many days of driving. Oh, God. Oh, see, this is the bad part. Watch out.

Yeah. Okay. Lord, I can't handle this music right now. So when it turns green, you're going to go around and left. No. What do you mean? What? Which way are we going? That's what it says. You're going up and around. No, I'm not up and around. Look at these cars right here. But you have a green light. I'm not going up and around, Lauren. I'm going left right here. Why did you just tell me to go up and around? I'm confused. You're doing great.

There's the cars on the other side of the road. And then when we get out of the car, I'd just be like silent and exhausted and like eating Vietnamese food in silence, like slightly shaking. Like it was really, it was really hard. And you. I'm not, I'm not a fearful driver. I mean, when we went to do the season of Love in Italy, which also has some pretty precarious roads. I drove the whole entire time, of course, insisted on it. I remember you drove fast. Oh, yeah. And I didn't love that. You have to drive fast on an Italian highway. I was driving slower than anyone else on the highway,

and still I was going 80. But anyway, so I'm not a fearful driver, and I'm not worrisome. I'm a bold driver, which you have to be. You don't want to be an aggressive driver, but you want to be a bold, confident driver. And these Lake District roads, I mean, had me on my knees. I mean, that was a tough trip. But it's really beautiful, and I would love to see it in June June because it was pretty beautiful when it was pouring rain in March. Anyway, so that – but Beatrix Potter, if you listen closely, very closely, we have tried as hard as we can, but you may hear – Crickets. A little rain and a little crickets. And Lauren just says close your eyes and pretend you're at a spa. Just let the crickets do that for you. But you think a relaxing spa experience involves crickets?

I think when people have those nighttime apps, nature sounds. Oh, yes. I see. You know. Nighttime summer soundscape. I mean, I am in a summer soundscape right now. My whole life is a summer soundscape. Do you know what I said this morning we should call the title of this episode? Jiminy Cricket. Jiminy Cricket.

I don't know if it's going to make it past the cutting room floor, but my vote is to call this episode Jiminy Cricket. That's just part of what you'll get when you sign up for Criminal Plus. Learn more at thisiscriminal.com slash plus. That's thisiscriminal.com slash plus. And thanks very much for your support.