Criminal - Phoebe, Judge Me

Episode Date: December 13, 2019

We are trying something different. Have a question for Phoebe? You can call into our voicemail at [phone]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Support for Criminal comes from Apple Podcasts. Each month, Apple Podcasts highlights one series worth your attention, and they call these series essentials. This month, they recommend Wondery's Ghost Story, a seven-part series that follows journalist Tristan Redman as he tries to get to the bottom of a ghostly presence in his childhood home. His investigation takes him on a journey involving homicide detectives, ghost hunters, and even psychic mediums,

and leads him to a dark secret about his own family. Check out Ghost Story, a series essential pick, completely ad-free on Apple Podcasts. Hi, it's Phoebe. Radiotopia asked us to try an experiment. They asked us to try our hands at making a mini-episode of a show that was very different from the shows we already make. We decided to try a call-and-advice show. We're calling it Phoebe Judge Me. You're listening to another edition of Phoebe Judge Me, a call and advice show where I do my best to help. Let's go to Ian in New York.

Hello, Phoebe. Ian, you're on the air. Thanks for calling. How can I help? I realize I never know what to do when I'm having my picture taken. I don't have a consistent picture face and maybe one time out of 20, I'll get it right. But usually when I see pictures of myself that have been taken, I'm making a face that I think looks nothing like me and certainly looks less good than I imagined myself to look in real life.

I would just love to be able to take a good picture. Well, I think the first thing to realize is that there are so few people in the world who take a good picture. Okay. Usually the people who take really good pictures are lacking in other major areas of their life, is also what I've determined. But you've never met anyone who's been told Phoebe smile as much as I have been told. I mean, in every picture that is taken of me, Phoebe smile. Phoebe's not smiling. My whole life I've heard that. And I've just given into

the fact that when someone's going to force you to do one of those big smiles, you're always going to look kind of nuts. And just resign yourself to that. Okay. And so I just have learned to just do a small, sincere look forward and not try too hard. And then when I get the picture back, I don't look at it too much ever again. You know, that's the key is never spend too much time looking at pictures of yourself and you won't have much trouble at all. Okay. Sounds good. So, Dora, you don't really need to change the photograph that's created.

Just never, try and never see it. That's exactly right. Just never search it out. And in the same way, you know, you could also remove all the mirrors in your house and then you can just be living in your own fantasy world. Well, I hope I could help. Thank you very much for calling, Ian. Our next caller is Smith from Birmingham. Smith, how can I help? How do you eat something that's crunchy that you don't want to eat that's green? Well, I think you've just asked me how do you eat something crunchy that you don't want to eat that's green. Now, I'm guessing that's something kind of like broccoli.

And, you know, that is a hard dilemma. I think when I was a little girl, we weren't allowed to leave the table until we finished our plates, until we drank our whole cup of milk. And I spent so many hours of my life sitting at the table with my sister Chloe. We'd put ice cubes in our milk because it would start getting hot, but we couldn't leave. And I'll tell you, I'm a lot older now, and I think back about all that time that I wasted. I realize now that if I had only just held my nose and gotten through it, I would have so much more time to play. And so my advice to you is eat it quick and don't breathe through your nose.

Thanks, Stevie. You're welcome, Smith, anytime. And our next caller is Teresa in Nashville. Teresa, how can I help? Phoebe, my question for you is about the concept of re-gifting. And my question is kind of a two-part. I'm interested as to whether you think regifting is okay and if you received a gift and found out later that it had been regifted to you,

how would you feel about it? Well, you know, I'm all in favor of regifting. I don't think we should actually call it regifting. I think we should call it something like passing it on. I say this knowing full well that I'm about the hardest person to buy a gift for out there, primarily because I like really very practical things that people would often overlook as a gift. For me, a good pair of well-made socks does the trick any day. I also like really odd things, like fossils. One year, my father gave me a fossilized owl head, and I thought it was just perfect. So while I appreciate, and we should all appreciate, any gift that we receive, it doesn't mean that we necessarily have to keep the scented candle. We can appreciate the gesture and the effort and pass that scented candle along with a clear conscience. And I think if I found out that someone had passed something along to me,

let's say a sensible wooden spoon, well, I'd be flattered. I really appreciate that viewpoint, and I agree with you, too. I hope that helps re-gift in good conscience, and thanks very much for calling. Thank you, Phoebe. Have a great day. Bye. Our next caller is Vanessa in Des Moines. Vanessa, how can I help? Hi, Phoebe. I had a question. My roommate has taken to walking around our apartment nude, and I'm wondering what you think is the best way to handle this.

Is this something that's just started, or has she always... Yes, recently she's been walking around in the full nude, in the bus, in front of my boyfriend and other company that we have, because she says it's her home and she will do it as she pleases. Well, this is just this... Well, this just sounds like a real problem. It kind of sounds like my nightmare. Also, kind of a tricky situation.

But I think there's only one thing to do here, and that is to be very direct. You need to tell her she's got to knock it off. I mean, she never has to put clothes on again if she's in her own room. But in shared spaces in the house, the clothes have to be on. But you don't want to take away someone's happiness. And if this is really giving her joy, if she really is getting

a thrill from being naked, you know, you could always talk to her about the power of not wearing socks. Talk to her about how nice and free it might be to let her feet be naked or even her arms. You know, what about a tank top, a pair of shorts? But I think you have to be very direct that fully nude is not for you or your guests. And I think starting there and being very straight about it, that might be your best bet.

Good luck to you. Well, thank you. I will take that advice. Thank you very much, Phoebe. That's it for this edition of Phoebe Judge Me. Tune in next time, and if you have a question for me, you can call in and leave it on our voicemail. The number is 919-697-8231. That's 919-697-8231. We're in the homestretch of our annual Radiotopia fundraiser, the one time of year when we ask you to support us. Please go to radiotopia.fm and make a donation today.

Thanks very much. Radiotopia from PRX Hey, it's Scott Galloway, and on our podcast, Pivot, we are bringing you a special series about the basics of artificial intelligence. We're answering all your questions. What should you use it for? What tools are right for you? And what privacy issues

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