Criminal - Turtle vs. Toilet, a Monster in the Closet, and a Surprise Possum

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

Stories of animals really going for it. Say hello on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and TikTok. Sign up for our occasional newsletter, The Accomplice. Follow the show and review us on Apple Podcasts. Si...gn up for Criminal Plus to get behind-the-scenes bonus episodes of Criminal, ad-free listening of all of our shows, special merch deals, and more.  We also make This is Love and Phoebe Reads a Mystery. Artwork by Julienne Alexander. Check out our online shop. Episode transcripts are posted on our website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Two freshly cracked eggs any way you like them. Three strips of naturally smoked bacon and a side of toast. Only $6 at A&W's in Ontario. Experience A&W's classic breakfast on Now. Dine in only until 11 a dangerous way. Starring Michael Fassbender and Richard Gere. Whatever it takes, make it impossible. The Agency, new series now streaming exclusively on Paramount+. Carrie and Clayton Law live in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I've been a listener for a while, so I was super excited to hear from you.
Starting point is 00:00:40 Carrie's a huge fan. Okay, Clayton, you're like lukewarm. Exactly this time last year, they'd hired some people to build a fence in their yard, and they planned to pay the fence installers in cash. Clayton went to the bank and withdrew the money in 50s and 100s. The bank teller sealed it in an envelope. And so I set it down on the counter and, you know, went to go do something, talked to Kerry and then came back. And I just kind of had a WTF moment and it was hard for me to process what I was
Starting point is 00:01:16 looking at. And then he started kind of panicking, I think. Yeah. It had only been about 30 minutes, but the envelope wasn't on the counter. The money was all over the floor, in small, wet pieces. And Carrie, he yelled for you. Yes, yeah. So we both work from home.
Starting point is 00:01:36 And I just heard Clayton saying, he ate the money. And I'm thinking, what? He what? He ate the money. Their dog Cecil, a hundred pound goldendoodle. Cecil was just standing there over the pile of money, just shredded, consumed. It was just all over the floor. How much money?
Starting point is 00:01:58 $4,000 total. He had never done anything like this in the past ever. And so it was hard for me to process what I was looking at because we used to, you know, leave dinner out. We used to eat at the coffee table and watch some TV. And you could leave, you know, a steak dinner or a cheeseburger, whatever, on that table, go to the kitchen, open a bottle of wine, talk for a little bit, come back, and he would still just be sitting on the couch, you know, not, you know, touching it at all. So I was
Starting point is 00:02:28 very just shocked that he did this. I mean, he hadn't just kind of torn these up. He'd also eaten the bills. Oh, yeah. You start to assess the damage and you're like, all right, how much is actually gone or is there any more fuller sized bills. And as I'm like just going through and looking under his toys and his dog bed, and I looked in the water bowl and there was a corner of a hundred dollar bill. It was just like the number is 100 right in the water bowl. And I was like, oh, well, that's great.
Starting point is 00:02:58 You were able to wash that down. They called the vet who said to keep an eye on things, but that at a hundred pounds, they weren't too worried about Cecil. Did you then ask the next question? Are we going to get the money back? Immediately, you know, Carrie is probably one of the most like just resourceful researcher, like can you exchange this?
Starting point is 00:03:23 What's the process? So she's googling it as I'm just trying to figure out what our next steps are. But later that night, it was like 2am or something. And you have a dog so you understand but it's the proverbial sound of a dog that's about to throw up. You have like a 15 second window before it all comes out. So I hear that and I snap away, jump out of bed. I'm like, no, not on the carpet and just got him on the tile. He threw up and it's 2 AM. So I'm just like,
Starting point is 00:03:57 I'm just going to clean this up and I grab a plastic grocery bag and some paper towel. I realized, wow, there's like chunks of bills in here like a lot. And I thought about turning the light on and going through it. But I was like, you know what? I'll deal with this tomorrow. So I just put it in the bag, tied it shut. And then I put it kind of low. But then I was like, wait, I don't want him to get back into it. So I put it really high up on the cabinet so there was no possible way. And then the next morning, sure enough, there were like hundreds in there all chewed up
Starting point is 00:04:29 and stuff. And what do you do? Do you just put it in a colander? How do you clean? What do you do? So luckily, we have a utility sink. And so we use that and some Tupperware and just in some like dish soap and just kind of washed it a few times. And by the time I had started that process, Clayton
Starting point is 00:04:53 had taken Cecil to go out, you know, to the bathroom for that morning and was noticing that there are also $100 bills sticking out of what Cecil was depositing in the yard. And so that was when we realized that to get the rest of the money, we were going to have to just follow them around for a couple of days with plastic bags. It was and you kind of you've seen Dawn soap where, you know, hey, it can clean, you know, oil spills off of penguins and ducks. So we're like, all right, well, if it can do that, I'm sure it can take excrement off of dollar bills. And so-
Starting point is 00:05:28 It did a great job. It did a great job, yeah. It was just the process of following him around in the backyard. And the challenging part was that there were a bunch of leaves on the ground too. And he likes to poop and then walk and then poop and walk. So I'm trying to keep in my mind where these are so I can go find them.
Starting point is 00:05:47 And it was, yeah, lo and behold, just tons of bills in there and enough so that it was worth going through. Yeah. So what exact sentence did you say to the bank when you brought the bills back? So first I had called and I just explained the situation and they're kind of like laughing. I don't think they really believed me at first whenever I had said the amount of money. I think they probably kind of thought I was joking. And they said, you know, we were able to tape it together and have the serial numbers on both sides we could
Starting point is 00:06:24 get it exchanged for fresh bills. So I'm thinking, okay, we're gonna have to do this. So we had this like massive jigsaw puzzle of these washed partial bills that I had to put together, which took several hours. And so once we had that all taped together, I took that to the bank with me. And I just remember standing in line. I think Clayton, did you come with me for that? Yeah, Clayton was with me. I remember standing in line and you know, people are there just going about their daily business and then we go up to the clerk with this plastic bag and I think we brought gloves for them and explained
Starting point is 00:07:02 that I had talked to somebody at the bank the day before. They said we could exchange these bills and they're kind of looking at me and then I explain what it happened and somebody in the back goes, oh, that was me you talked to. And so she was laughing and comes over and I think she was in disbelief by the amount that we had brought in. Do you think that there was something about this money, that this is better than a steak? I mean, that he kind of sensed that this was real valuable stuff? So whenever I talked with our bank about this, they were not surprised at all. They said that they have a lot of customers that have dogs that will eat money. They did mention that they've never seen this amount.
Starting point is 00:07:51 I think it's like somebody's dog gets a 20. But they said they think it's because it passes through restaurants and it picks up maybe food smells, would be their best guess. I'm not sure, but something about it smelled good enough to take that risk for him. I think that's pretty disgusting what you just told me about the smell of the dough. How much money did you end up getting back? It was around $3,500. I think by the end of it, maybe, you know, give or take, $150. Did you talk to him about it? Did you try to like show him some of the bills and say
Starting point is 00:08:31 no? Yes, we did. I just asked him why, like why did you do that? We were never mad at him. Like, I remember we were watching TV and he's like laying on the couch and he likes to watch TV, so he's watching TV. And we just all start laughing because we're like looking at this dog knowing that there's a few thousand dollars inside of him and he's just coolly watching TV, like it's not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:09:03 For the past three years, one of our last episodes of the year has been stories about animals. And it's always one of my favorites to make. Last year, there was a story about a denture-stealing mouse, a cockatoo named Harry who snuck onto a cruise ship and was given a cabin of her own, and a cat named Onion who could find his way into anything, even a rice cooker. He was just perched, like, kind of half on, half off the rice cooker, like a gargoyle,
Starting point is 00:09:35 and like scooping rice into his mouth. But it was really hot, you know, because it was like fresh rice. But he didn't, you know, he wouldn't stop eating it. So he was like complaining that it was hot while continuing to do it. I now duct tape the rice cooker as well. And as always, the story that's become a tradition from the New York Times in 1908
Starting point is 00:09:56 about a large dog that the paper described as a splendid Newfoundland, who rescued a small child who'd fallen into a river outside of Paris. The dog was rewarded with a steak. And then two days later, another child fell into the river and was rescued by the same dog who got another steak. It kept happening almost every day. People in the area were starting to worry.
Starting point is 00:10:21 And then they discovered that the dog was pushing the children into the river himself, so that he could claim his reward. The headline read, Dog, a Fake Hero. It's that time of year again. Today, stories of animals really going for it. I'm Phoebe Judge. This is Criminal.
Starting point is 00:10:53 This spring in Durham, North Carolina, where I live, someone called 911 and told the operator, there's a noise that just won't stop, and I'm very tired, and I want to know what the heck is going on." She described the sound as an alien spaceship. Around the same time, in Newbury, South Carolina, the police department started receiving noise complaints about some kind of industrial machine running. The sheriff said they'd also received complaints about a constant noise that sounded like a siren or a whine or a roar, and that some people had even flagged down deputies to ask
Starting point is 00:11:33 what was happening. When officers responded to the caller in Durham, North Carolina, and the complaints in Newbury, South Carolina, they discovered that they were all coming from the same source. Cicadas. This spring, for the first time since Thomas Jefferson was president, two types of cicadas emerged from underground at the same time. There were trillions of them. They find their mates by being very, very loud, so loud that scientists who study them
Starting point is 00:12:04 wear earmuffs. The Newbury, South Carolina, Sheriff's Office issued a statement that said, Although to some the noise is annoying, they pose no danger. Unfortunately, it is the sounds of nature. Here's another story about a 911 call. Yes. Okay. That seems very keen to stay with me though. Okay. I'll have an officer head up that way. Police Sergeant Demir Kuduzovic was on duty.
Starting point is 00:12:52 This was North Ridgeville, Ohio, around 5 a.m. There's a bar nearby called the train station. And Demir said that his first thought was that the caller had been at the bar and had too much to drink and thought a pig was following him. But Demir and another officer went anyway. And as we're getting close, we see the guy and he's waving us down, and we see a pig right next to him. It started to run.
Starting point is 00:13:23 It was just basically trying to, like, not get caught. So it was kind of running in the same area as we were trying to kind of grab it. Eventually, they got the pig into the police car. It sat in the back seat. The police department put up a Facebook post about what had happened. They included a picture of the pig in the backseat of the car.
Starting point is 00:13:47 The pig is kind of big. It looks to me like it weighs 50 pounds, with black bristly hair. Within a couple of hours of posting it on our Facebook page, the owners called up and they were looking for, they were looking for Zoe. Someone's pet, who dug her way out of a fenced-in yard and taken herself for a walk. In September, a woman on an airplane traveling from Norway to Spain opened her in-flight meal and, as one passenger said, quote, a mouse jumped out.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Reportedly the situation was very calm. Although the man sitting next to her told the BBC that he tucked his pants into his socks, quote, so the mouse would not crawl up his legs. The plane made an unscheduled landing in Denmark. A spokesperson for the airline said, quote, We made a very normal landing, not an emergency landing, which had been wrongly stated in some media in order to change aircraft and catering, which is a fully normal procedure. All of the passengers were put on a different plane and continued on to Spain.
Starting point is 00:15:09 We'll be right back. Support for Criminal comes from ritual. In the winter months, the days are shorter and sometimes the sun has already gone down before the work day is over. An easy way to make sure you're still getting vitamin D is to take a multivitamin. I've been taking rituals essential for Women every day for a while now. I appreciate that it's smaller than a lot of multivitamins, and it smells like mint. It's a much more pleasant experience. You take two Rituals Essential for Women capsules a day, each containing nine key nutrients,
Starting point is 00:15:59 including vitamin D, folate, vitamin B12, and omega-3. And your body absorbs those nutrients slowly, so you don't have to take it with food. Plus, Ritual is USP-verified. That basically means the ingredients listed on the bottle are accurate, so you know what you're putting into your body. Ritual's Essential for Women 18 Plus is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com slash criminal. Start ritual or add Essential for Women 18 Plus to your subscription today.
Starting point is 00:16:29 That's ritual.com slash criminal for 25% off. Support for Criminal comes from Quince. Quince makes a very beautiful Mongolian cashmere crewneck sweater. It comes in more than a dozen colors, the length is perfect, it doesn't pill, is very soft and I just got another one in burgundy for Christmas. I already have the heather gray and I wear it all the time. This sweater has more than 14,000 reviews from happy people saying things like, this is my go-to sweater, and love the fit,
Starting point is 00:17:05 color, and texture, and mostly the price. It cost $50. Quince's whole collection of essentials come in 50 to 80% less than similar brands. If you like the sweater as much as I do, you could get yourself the matching hat or the gloves or buy the whole set for someone as a very fancy gift that you will have paid a lot less for than they'd guess. You can get cozy in Quince's high-quality wardrobe essentials. This is one of those unexpected situations that was not on my 2024 bingo bucket list. I'll play that. In September last year, Ashley Klass was renovating her 100-year-old home and pregnant with her
Starting point is 00:18:01 third child. Her oldest, Sailor, had just turned three. And she ended up, you know, starting to have night terrors. She kept saying, there's monsters in her closet. Ashley says at the time, Sailor was obsessed with the movie Monsters, Inc. And for those who don't know, Monsters, Inc., the movie is about monsters literally coming out of your closet.
Starting point is 00:18:26 So we didn't really put too much into it because we thought, okay, a combination of she turned three, big feelings, you know, she loves this movie about monsters coming out of her closet, and I'm pregnant, things are changing, she's starting to see us get ready for our third child. But Sailor kept telling them she was sure that there are monsters in her closet, and she kept getting scared at night. We actually, we got this water bottle that we called monster spray. And we just kept it by her bed and said, you know, if you were scared at night, just spray it, it's going to protect you.
Starting point is 00:19:02 You know, and my husband got into the closet, she'd point where it was, got into the closet and said, there is monsters in there. And my husband would pretend to like karate kick and fight whatever monster and say, oh, I got him. We're good. LILIANA It didn't work. Sailor started sleeping with Ashley and her husband in their room. SHANNON But she would sleep instantly when she slept with us. Did you at any point kind of think to yourself, well, okay, maybe it's not monsters, but this is a really old house. Maybe, you know, we looked at all the different ductwork.
Starting point is 00:19:41 We looked at all the different avenues of what could be making a weird noise. And so I even got the house blessed because I thought, could it be haunted? I mean, because she was so adamant and I did not want to tell her it was in her mind, but at the same time, when you're watching a movie that coincides with what you're saying at night, that was our first instinct, was that there was monsters in our closet from Monsters Ain't Movie.
Starting point is 00:20:10 And then, around the end of October, she stopped talking about the monsters. And she was sleeping back to sleeping in her room, no issues. Ashley had her baby in mid-February. And then, a couple of weeks later, Sailor started to say there were monsters again. And we had, again, we started off with my husband and I doing monster sprites, started with my husband and I doing the ninjas kicking in the closet. We did all those things all over again to kind of alleviate some of her concerns. Were mean, were you thinking, you know what? I'm exhausted.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I have this brand new baby. There are no monsters. I might be at the end of my rope on this one with the monsters in the room. A hundred percent. And then on the first nice spring day of the year, Ashley remembers that she and her husband spent the day outside with the kids. And I noticed a clump of bees. I pointed to my husband and I said, oh my goodness, it looks like there's a wasp nest
Starting point is 00:21:16 outside our attic vent. Ashley called the pest control company and they came out and said it was honeybees. They wouldn't intervene because honeybees are endangered. So after a lot of calls, Ashley eventually found a beekeeper who would come over and have a look. He ended up finding with my husband a, the size of a ballpoint pen cap in the corner of the attic vent, that's how small it was, and said,
Starting point is 00:21:47 okay, they're coming into the house, let me see where they're going, what's underneath the floorboards. And that's when my husband said, that's our daughter's room. Ashley wasn't home at the time, but her husband called her and put her on speakerphone while the beekeeper headed towards Saylor's room. We had a thermal imaging device that he just connected to his phone to show heat maps. And so bees, he says, they produce a lot of heat, especially if they're honeybees, because
Starting point is 00:22:19 they're making honeycomb and they're producing honey. And then he went into my daughter's room and he went through each panel and he was like, nope, not here, not here. And then he went, oh my God. And it, my husband said it lit up like Christmas. It literally looked like a man was in the wall. And you know, that's the first thing we thought oh my god what is in there the beekeeper said that that is the highest tallest honey hive that he has ever seen in his 25 year career and that's when my husband and I we realized that that panel that he my husband sent me that picture it was right next to the closet. 65,000 bees. And did you immediately think, oh my God, we were giving this kid a fake spray bottle?
Starting point is 00:23:13 Yes, 100%. We were like, oh my gosh, and you know, how did this happen? The beekeeper said because it was a hundred-year-old house, it was just a freak accident because hundred-year-old homes don't have insulation. It created this huge gap in between each of the wall panels, each of the studs, so that it created this huge, beautiful home for them. He also told them that the reason Sailor had stopped hearing them during the winter was because the bees were dormant during those months, and they started getting ready to pollinate again right around the time Sailor said the monsters were back.
Starting point is 00:23:55 What did he do next after you found out where the bees were? So we had him open the wall, and it was like a horror movie. The bees just came pouring out and they just started dropping honey everywhere in a room. Just imagine like if you're outside and it's raining, it would be if it's raining honey. And there was just droplets of honey all over her toys, her books, her clothing, her dresser, everywhere,
Starting point is 00:24:25 just thousands of bees pouring out of this wall. The beekeeper started scooping up the bees and putting them into a box with mesh panels. And Ashley and her husband went to pick sailor up from preschool. They told her what had happened on the way home. You know, we, you're right. That was the biggest thing is that we wanted to make sure we told her, you know, this is a, I was right for life. So we brought her home. We brought her to the B-Box and we said, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:59 are those, is that the sound that you were hearing? She looked straight at us in the eyes and was like, Yep, like you guys finally understand me. Yep, this is it. That's the noise the monsters were making? Mm-hmm. Okay, we got those monsters. Goodbye, monsters. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Hi, Winnie. Is she there? She is. Can you say hi to Phoebe? Hi, Sailor. How are you? I see the bees. Oh, you're talking about bees. Oh, yeah. We're talking about bees. Do you remember when you heard sounds in your room? Mm-hmm. What did it sound like? Did it sound like monsters? It sounded like bees. Yeah, it sounded like, well, you were right. I guess that it did sound like bees. Well, Sailor, thanks for talking. I like bees.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I'm glad you like bees, Sailor. You were close to a lot of bees for a long time, so I bet you're going to like bees for the rest of your life. Yes. Earlier this year, a rumor started going around that there was a small black bear hanging around the road near my house. I was in a place where there weren't really any black bears, and I was intrigued. Could it possibly be? I started worrying about my new dog, Eight, going outside.
Starting point is 00:26:47 She was only seven months old. I knew she was big, like 80 pounds big and strong, but not strong enough to take on a black bear. She isn't much of a fighter, except when I'm trying to take the millionth sock that she's stolen out of her mouth. My father calls her socks. I started being extra careful on our walks. I steered clear of some of the trails in the woods near streams.
Starting point is 00:27:12 I have no idea if black bears like streams, but I figured that's where I would hang out. Then one day, I was walking eight up our road, and a woman yelled out, There's the bear. I panicked. I was walking eight up our road, and a woman yelled out, There's the bear. I panicked. I was looking everywhere. And then I realized that the woman was pointing at eight, who was happily wagging her tail, oblivious to anything wrong in the world. When we got home from our walk that day, I told everyone I'd seen the bear. How long have you been interested in reptiles?
Starting point is 00:27:53 Um, honestly, most of my life. Patrick McKnight works with reptiles. How many reptiles do you own today? I can't give you an exact number. It's somewhere between a thousand and three thousand. What? How many are in your house? So in the house, we only have two.
Starting point is 00:28:18 We have two little geckos. We have a facility where we breed ball pythons. And so we have a significant we breed ball pythons. Um, and so we have a fairly significant number of ball pythons, and then we have the four tortoises. They used to just have three. Big turtle, little turtle, and medium turtle. And then a friend of theirs asked if they could take another one in. The friend didn't mention the size.
Starting point is 00:28:43 He's probably about 180 pounds at this point. He's big. What is the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? In my head, turtles like to get wet and tortoises don't. That's all I know. That is more or less the exact. Tortoises do technically fall under the turtle family. And so if you were to call a tortoise a turtle, it is technically correct.
Starting point is 00:29:04 People get a little bent out of shape, but you know, it is what it is. But yeah, basically if it likes to go in the water, it's a turtle, and if it doesn't want to touch water, it's a tortoise. Patrick moved the gigantic turtle in with his other three at their reptile facility. But then a tree fell on it, and they had to remodel. He and his wife moved the tortoises into their house. He says the tortoises mostly spend their time walking. He and his wife moved the tortoises into their house. He says the tortoises mostly spend their time walking. He called it patrolling, usually the perimeter. And if something gets in the way of them
Starting point is 00:29:35 walking in the perimeter, they're like tiny tanks and they're not gonna slow down or halt too much. They're gonna try and brute force their way through. And so, whether that be a chair or a wall, whatever it is gonna try and brute force their way through. And so, you know, whether that be a chair or a wall, whatever it is, if it's in their way and they're not happy about it, they're gonna try and get through it. And so, you know, you'll see pictures or videos of them, you know, all but walking through, you know, drywall and things like that, just punching their way through because it kind of got in the way.
Starting point is 00:30:02 If both Patrick and his wife were leaving the house, they'd put up baby gates. One day, they came home to find the baby gates torn down. And we're like, oh, great. And we kind of figured the tortoises had broken, you know, had a prison break at that point. Patrick heard his wife yelling. And I was like, oh, man, this can't be good.
Starting point is 00:30:24 And I walk in and I see the horror scene. He sent us a photo of what had happened. We couldn't figure out what we were looking at. There's a toilet on its side knocked away from the pipes. There's water all over the floor and little pieces of lettuce, a lot of them. And in the corner, an enormous tortoise. It's most likely one of two things.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Either A, he got himself kind of stuck and literally just brute-forced his way unstuck and the toilet was an unfortunate casualty. Or occasionally, these guys will see things that are of similar size to them as threats, and they will actually attack them and start head-butting them. I've seen him do it to furniture outside and boxes and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:31:11 So it's entirely possible that he felt the toilet was an invader in his home and decided to knock it over and beat it up. Toilets can weigh 120 pounds. Patrick says the turtle is 31 years old. They call him Megaturtle. A tortoise's lifespan is estimated to be somewhere between 80 and 150 years. But a tortoise named Jonathan, who lives on the island of St. Helena, is estimated to be about 192 years old.
Starting point is 00:31:45 What will you do? I mean, Megaturtle is going to outlive you, he's going to outlive me, I mean, he's going to outlive maybe all of us. What's the plan? Where will he go? So fortunately, my wife is friends with a local zoo here in Richmond. And so currently, that's where he's gonna head. If we pass away, you know, the plan is for him to go live at a zoo. Being in the reptile community in general,
Starting point is 00:32:13 though, I have a significant amount of friends that have both the space and the skill set to be able to take care of them. It's an adventure to say the least. We'll be right back. Support for Criminal comes from GiveWell. GiveWell is an independent nonprofit that has spent the last 17 years researching charitable organizations. Only after careful and in-depth research will they give donation recommendations to only the highest impact causes. Over 125,000 donors have used GiveWell to donate more
Starting point is 00:33:06 than two billion dollars and GiveWell's research shows that these donations could save over 200,000 lives. They want to help you to make informed decisions about high impact given, so all of their research and recommendations are available on their site for free. You can make tax-deductible donations to their recommended funds or charities, and GiveWell doesn't take a cut. If you've never used GiveWell to donate, you can have your donation matched up to $100 before the end of the year or as long as matching funds last.
Starting point is 00:33:35 To claim your match, go to GiveWell.org, pick Podcast, and enter Criminal at checkout. Make sure they know that you heard about GiveWell from Criminal to get your donation matched. Again, that's GiveWell.org to donate or find out more. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead. Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details. Anything you can find in the wild in the UK, we treat here at the hospital.
Starting point is 00:34:12 We take in lots of hedgehogs, lots of different birds, foxes, badgers, deer. Steve Smith and Louise Brown work at one of Europe's largest wildlife hospitals. It's in Southeast England, near Oxford. It's called Tiggie Winkle's Wildlife Hospital. That's quite a name for a wildlife hospital. Yeah, Miss Tiggie Winkle was one of the Beatrix Potter characters, so a very, very famous hedgehog. And the hospital was started off looking after sick and injured wild hedgehogs, so a very, very famous hedgehog. And the hospital was started off looking after sick and injured wild hedgehogs, so I think that's where we got the name from, way back around 45 years ago.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Wait, there were enough sick hedgehogs that it could create a whole hospital? Well, we certainly see lots of hedgehogs. How many have you counted before, Louise? Well over 300 at any given time. They're much loved wild animals in the UK. Today people find and bring in all kinds of wild animals and the hospital treats them for free. Steve is the veterinary surgeon at the hospital and he's performed surgery on everything from a bat to a toad with a broken arm. Yeah, he had a badly broken forearm. So luckily I have a small plating kit where I was able to use this absolutely tiny equipment
Starting point is 00:35:31 with these microsurgical tools to be able to put this toad back together again. And you know, this toad lives happily with his implant in his sphorium. The hospital is busy. They're usually treating more than a thousand different animals at a time. One day, they got a call about what Steve calls a strange large orange bird. And they found it by the roadside and they were sort of didn't know what it was. They're wondering whether they should pick it up. He didn't look particularly well.
Starting point is 00:36:04 He was sort of stranded by the roadside, not flying away. And so we had the call and it sort of came down to the clinical team, to the veterinary team and saying there's an exotic orange bird. And yeah, to my knowledge, there's no, there's certainly no exotic wild orange birds in the UK and even escaped pet birds, you know orange is not a very common color for a bird so it sort of made us scratch our heads a little bit but we're kind of like no problem if you can catch the bird fine then then bring it along and we'll have a look. But you're thinking, I have no idea what a big orange bird in England, what could this be? We had no idea from the phone call for sure.
Starting point is 00:36:51 So it was quite exciting, it was quite a stir while we were waiting for it to arrive at the hospital. So, no, we were all sort of taking bets and discussing what it could be. The person who had found the sick bird managed to catch it. They caught the bird up in their jacket, put it in their car, in their car boot, and then drove it straight to the hospital. And what happened when it arrived? The triage nurse, we have a nursing team
Starting point is 00:37:17 that were on triage, they went down to the reception and grabbed the coat, brought it down to the triage room. And so when we opened up, this bird flapped out, perfectly fine and bright, and indeed it was a really large orange bird. But very quickly we realised, actually, this is a herring gull. So this is one of our normal gulls that we have, one of our large gulls, and this is a herring gull covered in this orange substance.
Starting point is 00:37:51 And it smelled familiar, like curry. Yeah, a really strong smell. When you, we touched the bird, you got this powder on your fingers and sniffed it, you could tell it was obviously the bird that smelled, not the jacket or anything. That smelled like curry. That smelled like curry. Yeah, the whole hospital smelled of curry powder. You came through the door and you felt like someone was cooking, so it was really pungent. The herring gull is one of the most common types of seagulls in the UK.
Starting point is 00:38:20 They're always grey and white with black wing tips. How do you think he got covered in curry? Well, that's a really good question. We were discussing that ourselves. We assumed maybe a big catering plant or one of the big factories that make crisps or curry or seasoning. They have these big drums and we think a drum may have been left uncovered and he probably got trapped in there and in the process of trying to get out this got completely covered in the powder.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Hearing gulls are what the British Trust for Ornithology calls opportunists. They prefer crabs but will eat almost anything they find. They named the bird Vinny. Vinny was perfectly healthy, just needed a bath. Yeah, the bird was bright, was alert, didn't have any gastrointestinal signs, and was clearly behaving normally despite some sort of misadventure previously. So we have a washing protocol, and you bath them in a nice hot bath with washing up liquid and basically you have to sit there for probably 40 minutes to an hour washing each feather
Starting point is 00:39:35 to try and get the substance off. And so you sort of do that as long as the bird tolerates it. Seagulls are they friendly birds? They are not friendly birds. They probably have the most attitude of any of the birds we see, so especially herring gulls, which is one of our bigger types of gull. A herring gull can be about 26 inches long,
Starting point is 00:40:01 and when it flaps its wings, the wingspan can be close to five feet. He didn't enjoy his bath, so it certainly gave us quite the run around while we were trying to do it. You should see the injuries on the hands from him nipping the nurses and us from the bath. One bath wasn't enough. They kept him at the hospital and over the next couple of weeks, they had to give him a bath every two or three days. Steve says that anything on a bird's feathers can interfere with their natural methods of
Starting point is 00:40:36 waterproofing and insulation. By the sixth bath, he did not appreciate it any more than the first and was learning all the tricks to try and avoid us. Seagulls are smart. At least one type of gull is able to solve puzzles, like pulling on a string to get a piece of food. And they will sometimes tap their feet on the ground fast, mimicking the sound of falling raindrops, because the sound brings worms up to the surface where the gulls can easily catch and eat them. They drove Vinnie to a lake and got him out of the car. He was in a dog crate and kept
Starting point is 00:41:15 trying to break his way out with his beak. They walked for a few minutes and stopped by the lakefront. Then they opened up the crate and Vinnie took off. Ready steady go! Woo! Go on Vinnie! Woo! Off he goes! Yeah, shook his hand, he had got a friend already. In March, at a different animal rescue in England, the Lower Mosswood Nature Reserve and Wildlife Hospital, a woman brought in a baby hedgehog she'd found on the side of
Starting point is 00:42:00 the road. A baby hedgehog is also called a hoglet. It's not a good sign to see a hedgehog out during the day. The woman wanted to help. She took the hedgehog home and put it in a box with some newspaper, a hot water bottle, and a little dish of cat food. But it didn't move all night or touch the food, so she brought it to the animal rescue. The staff opened the box and immediately knew it wasn't a hedgehog. It was the furry gray pom-pom from the top of a hat. The doctor said the woman took the news very well and had just wanted to help.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Last November, Brett Ingram had just started a new job near Dallas. She says the first couple of days were stressful, and she got home late on her second day. So I came in the house, I still had my work stuff and I was going over what I had done for the day. I sat on the couch immediately, still in work clothes, and I was in complete quiet. I didn't even turn the lights on yet, really. I just sat down and was on my computer. The Christmas tree light was on though. The Christmas tree was lit up and I was just sitting there working, looking at my computer, and I heard a little sneeze. I do have a lot of animals.
Starting point is 00:43:30 What type of animals? I have two ball pies on snakes. I have a bearded dragon, and I have three dogs and a porch cat. I thought maybe the cat was under the tree laying down or something. I kind of looked over there. It kind of looked, but it didn't't look too much and then just kept working. And after a few minutes, I heard it again, but it was a lot louder. Another sneeze.
Starting point is 00:43:53 So I kind of stood up and started looking around the tree and like it's in between my two couches and by the window. So I kind of looked in the window sill and I was like, there has to be something over here. And as I was looking, I looked to my left where the tree was and it's pretty close up against the wall, but I saw a very long tail. It looked like a rat tail. And I saw it and kind of just paused and was like, you know, what is that? Then she looked up, and she says she saw a large breathing ball of gray fur. So I kind of backed up and went around to the front of the tree and looked through,
Starting point is 00:44:35 and that's when I saw its face and realized what was in my tree. What did the face look like? Um, it's just because my tree was black and white, he was blending in, but he had like pretty white face with the, you know, the black rings around his eyes. It was a possum. And he just was like looking at me. Brett called a wildlife rescue person to come help, who told her she didn't do night calls. And she kind of just told me I should be able to grab him. It shouldn't bite me. What?
Starting point is 00:45:06 And try to get him out, but it's... It shouldn't bite you? Yeah. I mean, I don't know much about possums, but I do know that they have teeth. They do. I did have big teeth. Do you know what I think I would have done? I would have gotten my animals and would have barricaded ourselves in a room until that wildlife rescue would open up the next morning.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Oh no, we wrestled. I had to get him out. You know, I worked my way in there and trying to like just grab around his body and try to like pull him a little bit to see if he'd come out. But they have hands, like they have thumbs and everything. So he was holding on to one of the branches pretty good. And so when I was trying to pull him, he was holding on and ornaments were going everywhere. So eventually I ended up pulling hard enough to get his hands off. Like I had to like pluck his fingers from the branch. Oh my God. And he, it wasn't a very hard fall or anything, but he did like wrestle around and it was
Starting point is 00:46:02 like where I didn't have him and he, he flopped to the ground and then he ran under my couch and then it became this whole escapade of me having to get him out so I would move the couch and then he'd run behind the tree under the other couch and I moved the couches like four or five times like trying to get him and then he ran I mean I was out of breath and he ran back under the bigger couch. And I took like five minutes to like catch my breath. And as I'm doing this, my dogs are just watching me. They have like, they don't, they want nothing to do with it. She says that eventually she was able to grab him.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Like, I guess they secrete this smell for defense. And so that's the first thing I notice. And I kind of just talked to him. I was like, you smell bad, buddy. You have to go back outside and try to calm him down a little bit. You tried to calm him down. So you held him for a second? I did. He was like, I could tell he was scared. He wasn't hissing or trying to bite me, but his mouth was kind of open.
Starting point is 00:46:58 So I just stood there for a second. And I walked to the door and I sat him down. And he scurried off. How did you smell once you put the possum down? Yeah, I had a hoodie on and it was definitely it smelled like it. I think I threw it away. Brett says she saw him again a few days later near her porch. And I think I think how he got in was I have my cat lives on my porch primarily and I have
Starting point is 00:47:24 some cat food next to the front door. And I think that one night when I opened the door, he was probably eating the food and just thought it would be nice to go inside because it was cold out. And made his way into her Christmas tree where it was warm. Well, Brett, I want to thank you very much and I wish you good luck this year with no animals. Thanks. Yeah, we'll see.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Criminal is created by Lauren Spohr and me. Nidia Wilson is our senior producer. Katie Bishop is our supervising producer. Our producers are Susanna Robertson, Jackie Sejico, Lily Clark, Lena Sillison, and Megan Kineane. Our show is mixed and engineered by Veronica Simonetti. Julian Alexander makes original illustrations for each episode of Criminal. You can see them at thisiscriminal.com. Special thanks to the pets of Criminal, 8, Ardell, Robespierre, Coco, Tina, Jack Burton,
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Starting point is 00:49:05 Recently, I recommended the Ken Burns Leonardo da Vinci documentary. I'm always hoping to get a phone call that they need a new Ken Burns narrator, and I can have the job. To learn more, go to thisiscriminal.com slash plus. We're on Facebook and Twitter at Criminal Show, and Instagram at Criminal Underscore Podcast. We're also on YouTube at youtube.com slash criminal podcast. Criminal is part of the Vox Media Podcast Network. Discover more great shows at podcast dot Vox Media dot com. I'm Phoebe Judge.
Starting point is 00:49:40 This is criminal. Excuse me, Nadia. I have to see... My animal's going wild. Just one second. Go away! She wasn't... You're not invited in here. Good girl. That's the girl. That's the girl. That's the girl. That's the girl.

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