Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - C2E17 Harvest Close

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

The Mighty Nein attend the Harvest Close Festival, taking part in sweets and games of skill, and entering the challenging Victory Pit... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We'll jump into the game here shortly, but we have some quick announcements to get through. First and foremost, congratulations Sam on his Emmy win last week. You suck. I did it, guys. You did it. And thanks to one of our wonderful sponsors tonight,

I was able to add an Emmy to his inventory from my phone just moments ago. I'm going to look at my inventory right now. What? What's it? It says, Emmy Award of Exempla. It won't tell me with the rest of the title.

Exemplary talent. It's a wondrous item. Rarity legendary. This enchanted statue is given to the finest of creatives in the land. It's a largely thinly coated lead icon made of cheap material. I will take a picture of that.

And that object brought to you by our first sponsor tonight and sponsor for the campaign. and thus far our friends at D&D Beyond. We're good. Guys, as you know, this week I received many, many emails from fans who loved our D&D Beyond ad last week. Oh, God.

And they told me that I had missed part of the story. So just to recap, 826, our sponsor is D&D Beyond. They are contributing $100 to 826 LA for every natural one we roll. also as part of their massive 826 LA charity initiative. We were past the $10,000 tier, so D&D Beyond has offered up the discount code 826LA

for 25% off their awesome legendary bundle, which includes all the digital materials available on D&D Beyond. So last week, to honor that, I had dug through the archives and found a commercial that D&D Beyond had run in the 80s. And we did sort of like a stage, It was great, yeah.

Right. So fans wrote in and said, Sam, you missed part of that story. The ad campaign in the 80s was not successful. However, it launched the career of the young actress who played Gail in the commercial. She was given her own spin-off sitcom on CBS. It only ran four episodes, and those episodes have been lost to time. But I was able to find the script of a promo for the show. sitcom starring Gail from the D&D Beyond commercial from the 80s.

Wow. It's really? I found it in the archives and we're going to do a staged reading of this promo for this sitcom. Brought to you by D&D Beyond. I'll be playing announcer repriezing their roles will be Laura as the mom, Talison as the dad, and Ashley the Johnson as Gayle. All right.

Here we go. Remember, so picture it. You're watching TV. It's 8.30 p.m. primetime, and this promo comes on. This fall on CBS, it's the hilarious sitcom everyone's stoked about. You've got Gail. There are holes in all of my business pants.

Gail? Take a chill-poo, Mrs. Henderson. I need those crotches for my whole-mech project. This says sew a quilt of fabric swatches, not fabric crotches. Oops. That lovable scamp Gail gets her foster parents the Henderson's into totally gnarly situations. Did you do your chores, Gail?

Yeah, now I'm gonna put on my British night sneakers and see that brand new movie, Labriff. Not so fast, young lady. I found my tuna cats. casserole in the garbage. No doy, Mrs. Henderson. You said take out the trash and it was the stigiest thing in the house.

Oh, but it's not all fun in games. You've got Gail also tackles serious issues. Gail, your friend from school was just in a car accident. She was drunk driving. Gag me with a spoon, Mrs. Henderson. Yes, Gail. Gag us all with a spoon. You won't believe the trouble Gail gets into every Thursday night.

Gail, why didn't you do your report on First Ladies? This current First Lady Nancy Reagan gave me some bitching advice. What kind of advice did Nancy Reagan give you? When teacher says do your homework, just say no. Gail? Gag me with a spoon, Mr. and Mrs. Henderson. And all new you've got Gail every week right after growing pains and before she's the sheriff Presented by D&BI.

The character of Gail is amazing. Man, you hit gold. If Yasha ever leaves us this campaign, you already have a backup character. Can I just got you spell Doi? D-O-Y. Okay. Guys, I just got a text alert. They just revoked his Emmy. Through two unforeseen circumstances.

Thank you, Sam. And thank you, D&DB on. For making this happen. We have another sponsor returning this week, our friends at Obsidian for Pillows of Eternity to Deadfire. Dead Fire. Super excited. First off, for those who aren't familiar with it,

Pillows of Attorney was a great RPG, isometric, classic style RPG for PC and then for Consolated this year. You get to return to the World of Viora. This one is on the hunt. for one of the gods, Aethys, which plays into the story from the first game. But you don't have to have played the first one to play the sequel, because they have built in a way that it gets you up to speed very quickly and basically choose your decisions as you start the game

to still influence the story and where you're going. A lot of the main characters in the story are voiced by us here at the table, which is awesome. And for a free D.L.C. download, you'll be able to download the portraits of Vox Machina as well as voice sets to use in the game for your main character and hireable parties. So check it out if you haven't had a chance yet. It's an awesome RPG series,

unbiased as I couldn't possibly be, because I was one of the first Kickstarter backers before I was even part of the game. It's great. I really enjoyed it. Check it out if you can. It comes out next week on Tuesday, May 8th. It's here. You can order it at versus evil.com

slash critical role. And they've released almost all the portraits so far. Just the past couple days, they released Keyleth and Grog today. And I believe, He's a real angry. He's a real angry. He's just a Vidal Sassoon face. You can see the bits of food just flying out of the room.

Oh yeah. And I believe tomorrow they unveiled Gilmore. Wow. So that had been released already that you were? Yeah, they talked, they mentioned wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Was that spoiling?

Like, boy, there you go. So yeah, I'm excited for that. And thank you, our friends at Obsidian, for allowing you. our friends at Obsidian for allowing us to be a part of this awesome game. I am going to play that game and that is saying something because I have no time for my own physical or mental health. That's true. I'm definitely going to be playing that game like right after the baby's

Oh. A little 10 minute chunks. Yeah, get a wireless headphones so you don't wake him or her. Just hang out in there. Me, don't wake me. Yeah. Just play. It's just be great.

Alright, next up, we announced today that we are headed to JenCon this year. Super stoked about that. You can go to critroll.com for any of the information regarding our schedule that week. We're going to be doing a live show on Friday. And we'll have panels and signings throughout the weekend. So check out critterol.com for information on our appearance there. Jencom. We're excited to see you guys there.

What? That you won't know. Tickets for the show. For the live show. We'll go on sale next Tuesday, May 8. at 10 a.m. Eastern, 7 a.m. Pacific. So keep tabs on our Critical Role, Twitter, and the website for information on that.

And when that all goes up, we'll let you guys know. So it's super excited to see ya. We are also super, as you mentioned, really super close to our $50,000 stretch goal for our 826 charity that we're pushing. If you can, donate now to 826LA.org slash Critical Role. Every dollar you donate will be doubled, thanks to our fantastic critter, Mark,

who has been so amazing in supporting this endeavor. And when we hit 50,000, I believe you will be running another one shot. Another honey heist. Yeah. Oh, snap, I'm right. The bears are back in town. Make it happen. The bears are back in town. Let's see. Friendly weekly reminder for Twitch Prime. If you have an Amazon Prime account, you can attach to your Twitch account and can subscribe to any Twitch channel you want to for free once per month. So if you want to support any of your fantastic Twitch streamers out

there, this is a way to do so at no extra dime. So recommend it. We have the new Twitch remotes available for our subscribers, including ones based on the new campaign. We also have a nine emote for the $10 subscription tier, so there's that. Critical recap, of course. If you haven't seen the recap before this happen, you can go on YouTube and get a recap of last week's episode by our fantastic Danny Carr. She does it every week to recap what previously happened in case you're too busy running around to get caught up on what happened if you missed it. But you still want to be here live. Talks, Machina, next Tuesday at 7 p.m. Pacific, where our fantastic Brian W. Foster will bring a few of us into his fold for the night to discuss what happens tonight on the night's episode you're about to watch. Oh man, we're getting out here. All right. Podcasts, of course,

last week is available. We're all fine podcasts are available to download, so keep up with that. That's it. We're good. Boom! And done. Anything else? Nice, that was a lot. Quick draw. I want to get to the game. I'm impatient. Thank you for your patience. And with that guys, let's go ahead and dive in to tonight's episode of Critical Role. And wow, you were so late on that. It was just... It was time down about how I wanted it.

Welcome back, everyone. As we watched Laura complain about her macaroni salad. Is it like tuna in here? What's in here? This is the content you've tuned in for. Is your tuna? Subscribe now. No one really knows. I mean, it's...

Mecorny salad is a wild west of culinary delights. It's the tuna casserole all you were talking about. I'm not supposed to have tuna. I don't know. Daredevil, Laura Bailey, ladies and gentlemen. So, bringing it back in, The Mighty Nine, the city of Zadash, long in the Dwandolian Empire.

You've made a small name for yourself and a few factions. You've done a deed or two for the King's Hall here in service of the crown. You've done a deed or two with the Knights of Requital that involved getting caught up briefly in what seemed to be a manhunt as you were loosely responsible for the death of the High Richter, the High Judge of the local court, but managed to make an introductory trade, a deal, if you will, with the gentlemen,

this kind of subterranean figure of not the most legal of maneuvers. You delved deep into one of the subterranean river tunnels beneath the city of Zadash for him, managed to clear out and recover materials from what seemed to be a long, buried, research facility from the age of Arcannum. And upon returning, the deal was solid. You managed to smuggle out Horace, who needed to be away from the town for the time being while this investigation was happening. And in doing so, I also managed to clear your names of the death of the High Richter.

So upon returning back, getting a few deeds done, now seemingly waiting for this to blow over and hearing word that it has, that there is no longer a manhunt for a number of you in cahoots to this. You've begun to prepare for the coming Harvest Close Festival. As now we're getting close to the third day of the month of Fesseren. You've all managed to prepare in the ways you want. Done a few things on your side.

You've delved into some of the mysteries of the beacon that you maintain. You've retrieved your forever alcoholic flask. And that's where we begin today. So, friends, as the early morning, morning creeps up upon you. The chilled morning air has left a bit of ice and mist crawling across areas of the city floor from outside your window here in the Leaky Tap Tavern. However, though it is kind of a gloomy morning, there's already just a general air of celebration around. Glancing across, you can see more and more people are now shifting out

into the street and city around you. Music's beginning to creep into the vicinity, and you can hear muffling through the nearby walls. Grammacy? Grammacy. Grassruck, my nose. So, as you all awaken, hearing this outside, what do you wish to do? It's a celebration. Your spidey senses tingling?

Can you hear the difference? It sounds like there's very expensive things to drink and eat. We're going to get my pocketbook. Lots of pockets. Pick. Lots of bar brawls to start. Yeah. Can I ask retroactive questions? Yes. So Caleb and maybe Beauregard, but Caleb read all of Sith's journal. Yeah. Was anything more to be gleaned from reading the entire thing? Just more understanding of the same notes we've met before. Okay. Yeah. From what remains of the toome, you managed to quickly grab the notes, the cliff notes of it as you glance through it.

and the more information you pulled from it just kind of filled out that your thoughts on those tidbits were correct. Okay, and then the only other question I have is I don't remember what time of day the party ended the day. If there was time, I would have used paper and scrolls to transcribe into my book if there was time. Yeah, there's been a few days. You would have had time. Oh, okay. Okay, good. Yep. Anything else? Is it the morning?

It is the morning. You have awoken? I'm going to... On the what? Okay. The moat? She takes the beacon focusing on this strange artifact that you procured from the grip of the Georgian assassin. You feel yourself, extend into it. And you now being your first time to focus on it, it's a lot to take in. You feel your essence kind of shift into this space. this strange, dimensional between.

And though not fully understanding it, you're brought the same image of dozens of yourself and then this kind of sense of infinity. And there before you see the strange gray moat and you reach out in the way that you saw Caleb's hand reach. And at that moment you feel it shift and vanish into your chest, the warmth kind of sifting into the center of your rib cage, and then your eyes focus once more

and you're back in your chamber. Well, that was kind of cool. Did you know that we have a special weapon now? I do as of right now with you telling me. So this thing, you can get this moat of possibility. You get to, basically, you get to, um, effect time. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but it's really cool. How do you feel, do you feel, are you?

I feel like really powerful and stuff. Oh. Inside. Like how much more powerful? Like 5%. Punch me. I want to tell. Okay, I'll punch her.

All right, we'll go ahead and roll an attack. Oh, please, I dropped it. That doesn't count. Oh, I don't punch her very hard. I'm, you know, I feel I'm gonna pull my bunch. Because I only rolled a five. It sounded like pooing my punch. I mean, if you're not dodging.

I'm like, come on. Yeah, and then you hit her. Oh, I hit her? Yes. Okay, so now I roll for damage? Well, it's one plus your strength modifier. Four damage! You take four points of damage from a sheer punch to your shoulder.

Holy shit, Jester. What the fuck? Ah, okay, that's awesome. Do you have dead arm? Yes! Wait, if I punch you in your ass, you'll get dead leg. Have you ever tried it? Yeah, I'll punch you in her back. Okay, I think she is dodging this one, so roll for this one.

Come on. How do it. Oh, you add your, you're not proficient in, and I'll see a proficient in an arm, because you're just punched and sure. So you just add your strength amount of fire and your proficiency amount of fire. No, plus the proficiency, no, it's still not enough.

It's like nine. Yeah, no. Nine? She does manage to step out of the way, now being more defensive from giving her a dead leg. I move and then kind of do like a little hip bump. Get out of the way. I wasn't trying to get you anyway.

I didn't want to hit you. Just a little hip action? Yeah. I'm working on it. Anyway, I have this thing, and I could have used it then to really hit you, but I'm not going to, I'm going to save it for something really powerful. Are you in the room, Yasha?

I feel like I slept outside. I was going to interact, and I was like, I think I slept outside. I forgot. We were all up and moving at this point. As you asked this question, Yasha is not in the room. Hey, Jester. Or did you pass some?

Did you? That was you who said. That was you who said something when you were talking to the assassin, the Jorhasian assassin, about babies not being born, something like that. Did I say something like that? I think you were like, oh, no, the babies, something the babies. He had said that this thing would help them with having babies, yeah. By-you-bee.

Yeah. So I would assume if we have it, then he won't be able to have babies. You know how that town crier was talking about? kids being stolen? You think they're connected? Probably, that's really smart, but. Thanks. I just wanted to run about you before I like saying anything else. Where was it happening? It was along the border, huh? Yeah. In Nogvaroc. Yeah. Yeah, that's where it was happening. You have a good memory. I know. Where is that? Nogvrock is along the border. Oh yeah. I know there's a garrison out there.

Northward. You have a map. Is it near? Is it near? I brought it back in, didn't it? It's right over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it doesn't count as using your memory if you're reading a jester. Come on. I didn't read it.

Pulling my map out now. Well, the Nugverrat is actually, it's northward, a little bit east of Wrexentrum. Right there. Oh, that's not at all where I thought it was. I thought it was over by the Ashgard Garrison, but it's not. Yeah, weird. Maybe it's not connected then, unless there are a lot of them, the bad guys in Nogbrot, which we could check out. I heard a rumor last night that more and more are getting through. I don't know.

I wonder how. I wonder if there's an underground passage that people aren't seeing or something. Or maybe they can go invisible. Or maybe they have an airship. Yeah. Or maybe they can turn into mist and fly through the air where people can't see them. I've heard of people doing that. All possibilities, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yell up. No.

Ford! Come in. We're going out. I'm naked. I'm not naked. Ford, there's a celebration going outside. I can hear them. I think we're going to head downstairs if y'all want to join.

Yes. Okay. I run outside. All right, so you guys start heading downstairs. Who all's gathering down there with them? Everybody. Everybody. All right, everybody.

You who went like kind of napped in the side. alleyway in the open air, kind of sleeping with one eye open, just being careful. As you wake up in the cold morning mist, one, the mist has kind of caused this, this kind of dampness around like your chin and hair. Around my glorious beard. Glorious beard right there. Frost beard. I don't have a beard. No. You do that. It gets really cold in the early morning and bits of frost to kind of gather the edges of your hair, and so you kind of brush it off a bit as you kind of gather yourself And look out past the street, the music's already starting to swell very strongly from a distance.

And a few musicians kind of come by playing on their own. You see some folks are starting to rouse and begin cooking things. The smell of meats and fresh morning meals are beginning to find your nostrils. And you decide, probably should check in. Yeah, go check in. So as you come in, the rest of you all gather in the bottom tavern area of the leaky tap. What would like to do? Does anyone know how this festival works, or what are we celebrating again? The close of the harvest. So it's just for Fonzi's and we just go around and sample wares and things like?

Have you never been to a festival? I've been to a festival. It's just general reverie. Drink, eat, dance. Not a big one, but, you know, small ones. About what? You know, like end of the season and beginning of the season, you know, that sort of stuff. People's weddings, you know, that sort of thing.

There's a new female who's running the bar. You see now also coming in consciousness. She's coming around to preparing the bar. She passed out face down. Looks to be like in her early 50s or so, long black hair that kind of goes just past the chest area. The chest area? Respectfully choosing words, Laura. Wow.

Pass her heaping bosom. What do you want me to say? I think you've had enough. It's making it weird. Laura Bailey, forward-thinking feminist. I'm sorry. I want you to, once you have a child, I want you to turn on a dime like a tart tooth character

and just be matronly and severe. Dump curse. That's not gonna happen. Don't talk about titties. No. So anyway, yeah, this female you haven't seen before who's in the process of running the bar, very much in the same way that you saw,

Tessick the Dragonborn or previous before that, Claudia. Wait. I wonder if that's the new owner. Yeah. That, what, wait, what should you look like? Did you say something? Human, 50s, long black hair. Past the TOTAS.

Oh, I bet that's her. Oh, that's right. I got so distracted by you. I'll walk in and give him a nod and then go get a nail. All right. First things first. All right, so she goes quickly with her. What can I get you?

Just a big, like a drink, just a nail. Easy enough to do. I'll be right back. And she goes and fetches you a drink. All right. So, for this point in part of the festival, festival, if you're going for like an ale or a stiff drink. A nail. It's just morning.

It's slower. I wonder if the new proprietor was there is a dead person in the basement. It's not a dead person, it's a skeleton. It seems old. I mean, I suppose it's a dead person, but... That is exactly what it is. I guess so. Was it a dead human or a dead teafling or a dead... It seemed human-ish.

Well, there were no horns, and when you're a skeleton, Your ears are rotted away, so I do not know. It could have been an elf. It could have been. There are any like people, I don't know, juggling shit or any shows going on? Not in the tavern currently. It seems most everyone outside is walking in one direction, though.

A lot of the folks who are starting together are all heading past the entranceway and heading kind of in a left, leftward path from looking out from the tavern. Did we join them? Yeah, I kind of want to see, you know. Oh, I definitely want to see this. You can carry booze in the streets here, right? It's like Vegas. Open carry?

You can try to try. Wait, no, not open carry. No, it's very open continue. There you go. You have seen people walk with various drinks in their hands on an issue before, so. Let's go. I'm very much about this.

We'll get that to go. How was the new lady? Was she nice? Was she a bitch? She just, I mean, she gives you your drink and no. I think's a nice woman to meet. What was her name? I have no idea.

I thought she's a bitch. Why would you say that? I don't know, because I want to buy this place, so I don't want to like her. Do you know that there's a dead person in the basement? Oh. Maybe we can use that to run her out. There's a skeleton in the basement, apparently.

Oh. I sort of agree with not on this. I think it comes a point where it's a skeleton and not an actual dead person at this point. I mean, I know it is a dead person. I don't think that's correct, actually. Both things at the same time. I think there's a point where it's like a piece of fruit, but it's been out so long that even conceiving of it as a piece of fruit is just like not useful.

That's a good point. I'm pretty sure that's incorrect. Do you call like a cherry pit, like a dead cherry? I'd just start walking towards the fucking like. Could you still eat the body? If you can't eat the body anymore, then it's not a person. You can eat anything if you are determined enough. That is also a very fair point. Ford has left the Schroedger's skeleton conversation.

Browdiger's skeleton conversation. Lord, poor, don't you dare have fun without us. I'm rolling out the door. Go for it. So Molly gives chase. Scott. I chase after them too. We go.

I'll put on my mask. Slammed on my. Slamed on my. Go. All righty. So at this point now, the chilled, late morning beneath the cloud-covered skies and the streets are filled with all manner of people and families,

walking with baskets and colored streets, behind them. You can see the large banners of silk of the autumn colors that were previously being placed up in the streets are in full display. The gentle wind is causing them to flicker and flap as the music kind of weaves with the sound of the fabric. Small bands of bards and musicians mark nearly every street intersection, filling in the air with music, poems, and cheer. It's a very stark difference to the lockdown that kind of held the city over the past week, week and a half or so. The closer you begin to follow the crowds as they move along, hearing the chuckles of children

and the conversations and laughter that seem to burble out of every street corner, it pushes you in the direction of the pentamarket. And that's when the smells of spices and incense begin to come in waves as you follow the sauntering crowds. Eventually, that smell overcome by the smell of cooked meat pies and roasted vegetables billowing from the various food carts that line the corners of the streets before you. I want to be at Renfair. I know. The flickering of the wind is now almost like this weird syncopation

that's blending with the sound of the distant drums and ocarinas and flutes that are beginning to pipe into the strange din in the streets. You see a number of games of skill and chants that have been set up in the distance, too, amongst the crowds to begin to weave through. To the left, you can see someone loudly proclaiming. loudly proclaiming, What to play, Trebuschay, anyone! And down the way, another voice is coming out,

Kingsvote, Kingsvote! And you can see more games in the distance beyond their, more stages and set up with food, and it's a veritable smorgasbord of celebration. What do you guys want to do? Trebusay sounds pretty fucking sweet. I think we're immediately heading to Trebyshe. When he means Trebusier, like a Trebusier?

How the fuck would we know? We're going to find out, though. Do you fire it? Do you set it? I don't know, there's only one way to find out. Let's go to it. Or it's a card. I'm going to go and walking towards the other one, the king's thing. All by yourself, Kayla.

I'm going with Caleb. Wanna come? But I want to get thrown in a trabyshe. Go with them then. Okay. Does it seem like there are more guards around than usual? Or are the guards relax? The guards are relaxed, but there's definitely a large presence.

And in fact, a number of them are there. A number of the games are run by the guards. In fact, Trebus Shea, as you approach, you see two guards, male and female, that are both in the process of lifting what looks to be a three or four year old girl, and she has a sandbag in her hand and like, one, two, three, and she throws it,

and it gets kind of close, stops before the basket, but they cheer on, yay, and set her down. I thought they were gonna throw the kid. I was really hoping that. I was really hoping. Don't agree if she kills, they kill her. The kid runs off,

grabs the bag and comes back and they lift her again, and they kind of get one, two, and they give her even more of a swing so she gets a little more distance, and it hits the edge, and then tips off at the side, and they go, aw, in the crowd, gathered around kind of, awes with her, and the little girl smiles, and gives him a hug, and then runs off. One of the guards turns as you guys begin to approach and shout out the crowd.

So, Trebyshain, you want to wish to play? Yes, most definitely. Yeah. All right, all right. Five copper for three throws? Yeah, yeah. Here's ten copper for Molly and me. Yep.

Set that. All right. Zipes. And the other guy goes, all right. Pulls up three of the sandbags and hands them to you. So that basket there and that line there. And you see that they kind of were in between for the kids reach, but there's about a 10-foot distance, a small, thin carpet that's placed behind the line leading to this open kind of wicker

basket. It's about a foot and a half wide. But you have to throw overhead facing away. Oh, shit. Ooh. Abduljabon. Do you buy. Do we need to pick them up and do the thing like you did with the child?

You have more than welcome, so I'd love to see that happen. But that is not necessarily. No, it's all right. Let me try it on my own first, for dignity. All right, so as you stand there, you take the sandbag and kind of a treboshe like motion, lob it overhead without quite looking, assuming the direction. Go ahead and make a dexterity check with disadvantage, please. Oh, I didn't need that.

That's a natural one. You love it. You love it. And everyone goes like, oh, you turn around. That's a purple heart, sorry, man. You turn around. You can see the mother of the small kid that was first running. It's just like rubbing the side of her face.

She's used to. Do it again. Take the pain off. She goes, it's fine. It's fine. Looks up at you and goes, Greetings adventurers, spring has sprung here in Los Angeles, and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. I'll take it.

And that means I've been outside a lot more, walking around, occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes, traveling a bit. You know the vibe. And after doing some spring cleaning, my wardrobe, I gotta say, looking a little bit sad. I want clothes that can keep up with me and my son, but updating my wardrobe every spring. sounds pretty expensive. So that's why I wound up signing up for Fabletics as a VIP. It let me overhaul my springtime outfits without obliterating my bank account. New VIPs unlock major savings on that first purchase, so trying new fits feels way more doable. When I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80% off everything. It made it easy

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All right, try again. That's another natural one. As you, as you, one, two. This happened to red pair before. You go to heave the sack and as it does, it gets caught on part of your rest plate. And as you pull upward, there's a sound as sand just goes so, scattering into the sky around, emptying the bag and just pouring over you into your eyes. And you, p, p, p, p, p, laughter starts to gather in the crowd around, some small clapping.

Again, again. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but let's give it a try. Okay, you get on one side, don't get on the other. Okay, that's fine. That's good. All right, so that's, well, yeah, one more throw. That's what I mean, they're gonna help me. All right, which one of you is taking the other throw?

Oh, no, no. We're going to pick Ford up the way that you did the little child. Perfect. There you do. Two shit throws in a row. Can't get me fucking worse. All right, so. Come on, go. Oh. Yes.

You need to put that shit in jail. You shouldn't have hit that woman with a sandbag. Man. That's already got him out of the way. Best game. So. When we fight a basilisk later, all those ones are gone. Jester.

Yasha. How do you want to do this? to do this. We grow Ford. Yeah, I don't think we help him. We just, fh. So they literally shock put Ford about three or four feet. Do we get him in?

No, it gets about four feet before he goes face first into the carpet, running into the carpet kind of balls up in front of him as he skids for another foot, foot and a half. His feet up in the air before they full school come to rest. It's going to be just allowed. There's a loud. gathering a voice is going, oh, and the silence as the music kind of plays in the distance. I think I'm going to get a drink. You guys, carry on. Oh, my pride. All right, Molly.

Molly! The female guard goes and straightens out the carpet to get it right. Five copper. He'll pay it already. That's right. By all means. It's a dexterity with disadvantage. Dexterity with disadvantage.

You're just looking away. It's not a hard DC. 19. 19. So, you. Whoa, the crowd against cheering. Cheers. The, uh, this hand you a second one? Do you get the prize?

Does he get the prize? At the end. I think I may have to, I've spent my luck. I think it may be off to you and then one for you. Really? Three throw throws, one each. Okay, okay, okay, okay. It's by all means, Jester.

Okay. Juster, use these. No. Oh, no. Oh. Oh, that's still not terrible. I rolled two twos. So that's six.

So Jester, you throw it with all your strength, and it goes straight up. It's in the top of the head and kind dangles off one of your horns. Oh, no. Did it mess up my jewelry? Here, hold on. No, wait, yep. All right, right.

Don't let it snag here. It's not near it. Thank you. Go Yasha! All right. Four. Four. You hurt so good.

I just let me do it, I know I'll get it in. As it arcs, it lands, there's a little puff of dust behind. It only gets about four feet from you, unfortunately. It's like a weird shape, you know? It's hard to... It changes in the air. Apparently no one is still in a baby before. It's so odd.

However, however, we do want. We have one successful Lynn, and they reach over into a small satchel on the side and pull out a fresh strawberry for the victor. That's it? A strawberry? Is it red? It's actually pretty tasty. It's fresh, sweet, it's delicious. How much for a strawberry? Oh, we don't sell the strawberries, but you can buy them further in.

You pay for the prestige of a victory, and a strawberry is it. But if you get all three, you get a candied apple. The story starts better with a victual. All right, what was the other game? I gotta forget this. Let's go find Caleb. This is transpiring. You guys go to catch up while Caleb and not have approached the young half-elven woman who is shouting,

Kingswalt! King's vault, as you approach, she sees her hair tied back and she's barking with this kind of utmost confidence. Kingswalt, come play! Anyone, come to the front. Show us your majesty of attention. of attention. Yeah, what sort of game is it that you are running? Well, you place either a silver or a gold piece up, and I will, and she pulls up three

silver cups. I will place it underneath one of these, mix it around, pay attention, guess the right one, get your coin back, plus one. Guess it wrong, coin stays with me. Simple game. Well, I just so happen to have three silver on me. It states one silver to play? Yes, at least.

At least. Well, I am going to, I'm feeling lucky today. and always. So here it is. On to the table. Takes the center cup. Cups over. I'm looking and I'm going to hold my wire up to my mouth.

All righty. If that being the case, I would like you both roll a perception check. Does my keen mind help me at all in this situation? Strangely, it does not. It does not, yeah. Up and out. Natural 20. Ah!

Four. As soon as she finishes the rotation, stops and goes, very well. And you has to be the right one. It has to be the center. Yeah, I will go with the center one. It's the one right. It's the one right. It's the right one right here. The right one.

No! You got the wrong one? The right one. I will go with the middle one, I think is probably the correct place. Tip's the cup. Indeed the silver is there. Congratulations. I'm with that.

Your earnings doubled and gives you a secondary silver. Two silver. Well, you know, I just wanted to play the game. I'm not trying to make any money. Do you want to do anything here? I'd like to compete, please. I give her my two silver. Do me proud?

Yes, please. The silver? Yeah, here. Of course. Coin goes down, cups over it. Now there's a small crowd gathering. Now people are starting to watch as, you know, there's a victory, apparently, and some cheers. I'm going to back up like five or six steps and also do the same thing not it.

Shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting and shifting eyes just focused on you Starting to look strangely at you All right very well choose now go ahead and roll perception check That's a natural one. Yes, we're trying You were paying attention and all of a sudden you lost like looking up at her eyes you were so kind of caught off guard by her staring at your You know fairly well-concealed Goblin visage but seemingly not enough She has a curious raised eyebrow, and that spooks you for a second.

Oh, shit! You lost track of the Cups. I got a total of 20. Total of 20? Yeah. On the perception? Yeah. Okay.

So what are you going to pick? I will choose, Mimi. Mimi. Do I have a chance to whisper to her what I saw? Because I want to do the same thing. Make a slight a hand check. Oh, that's not so good. That is a six.

Six. As you begin to pull your hands up and begin to mutter with your She goes, no funny business. Oh, I am a funny guy. I could tell. Now. I'm going to pick the one on the middle. The middle.

Pulls the cut back, empty. Oh. But a good try, scoops the coin off the table into a pouch. I'm so sorry. I took your silver and I let it go. I'm sorry. Yeah, but you know also the other day you gave me 200 gold, so I'm not really, it's not really a lot. I know, but it's the principal. Well, if you have 200 gold, you are more than welcome to place a gold piece up here as well.

Okay, thank you. Thank you. I give her the stink eye as well. Take care of your green friend there. I intensify the stink eye. All right. At this point you got turned around and you see the rest of your party has caught up to you at this point. Four just covered in dry dust.

Oh, and a strawberry. Sorry. Four can't throw. Did I have a different kind of dream? No. Each again. You won a silver, but I lost it. What game did you play?

It was called King's Crown. Kings Vault. That's what I said. The one would really spin it around and you see which clapping? She was very quick, yeah. I wonder if there are any more games? Yeah, you went to keep more game. If you're keeping an eye open and you guys can keep it.

and I'm keeping an eye open and you guys continue, you've now hit kind of the deeper edge of the pentamarket. The crowds around you are fairly dense at this point, and there are people laughing and talking and they're carrying what looks like various baked goods that are fresh out of the nearby carts or oven, and the smell just kind of creeps into your senses and takes over from that point. Children run past and kind of bump you in the side. Some are like holding two ends of a streamer, and the streamers continue past and kind of flap around hitting people. It's adorable and in delightful. intensely. The guard presence is very much felt here, but everyone seems to be in high spirits.

And you get the sense that everyone's been kind of waiting to get to this festival, to this moment here. Much, much different atmosphere than the gala you had seen a week before in the tri spires. They needed this catharsis, it feels like. Oh, good party. I want to find the most ridiculous meat out there. Oh, there are quite a few meat stands, so it's easy enough for you make an investigation check. Check. Meat or meed? Mead. I want to find the candied apples.

Uh, four, sorry, 17. 17. Very easy to find through a couple of select questions to some of the non-competitive barkers. You managed to find a small meitery stand. I'll follow you. That's near the outskirts of one of the large kind of arena structures here that you haven't seen used since you arrived in this city. And as you approach, the older guy there with this kind of, you know, kind of curled and unkept chin beard that looks like part of it just kind of isn't growing in on the right side You approach and he has all these like thick thick dark jugs of mead and he's like hey wants meat

Yeah do you have meat that doesn't taste like piss I'll have meed that'll get you fucked up That'll do my taste like piss still That'll do big What's your highest proof mead? He picks up one jar, that one, and holds it out for you to smell. It's pretty strong. It smells slightly accurate, but not in a bad way, just in a strong meat kind of way.

Slightly better. Still kind of smells like piss, man. Well, it depends what you want. You want strong, you want tasty. You got to pick. It's strong. Oh, yeah, good choice. That'll be a nice fair filled cup.

For a silver. This is about when I wrote. What did you get? What did you get? Uh, uh, Barbarian P, but it's good. What are the options? He pulls up three jugs. This end, tasty.

This end? Fuck you up. This one, libid-a-a. I'll take whatever's most expensive. Grabbs the same stuff that Beau got, the heavier, thick stuff. Mm-hmm. Pours gives you... cup full of it. That'll be a silver piece. It's strong. The after-daste isn't too bad. It's the initial like kind of weird sour vinegary impact, but then the sweetness kind of comes in afterward and it sets well. And it's strong.

As you guys are walking around and keeping an eye, you do see there is another stand that has an elevated platform called Titans Grasp. You see there are four soldiers of the righteous brand, the local, the, the, the, the, the, the Empire Military that are currently manning it. And you see they're wearing their plate mail of kind of silver and dark crimson design. And it looks to be a large, cubed stone, two feet by two feet, is set on top of this platform

with a metal bar that is wedged beneath it. It's kind of leaning against. The metal bar has a cylindrical center point, like a fulcrum. And there is a large hammer that one of them is currently holding to the side. As you begin to approach, you see one guy there who's currently like spinning in his hands, grabs the hammer, as he hits the metal bar, the stone goes barely shifts.

And he sits down the hammer, everyone's like, yeah, he's like, I moved it! I moved it! Steps down off the platform. They're celebrating anything these days. We should go play this game. I was really looking forward to looking for ridiculous meats, not meads, but... Maybe we can... Oh, me, it sounds great too.

Yeah, Day's Young. Yeah. Let's go play this game. Okay. All right, not play. And then? Crush this game. We give the candy apple, okay?

Okay. All right, as you approach the four soldiers that are up there, one of them comes up to you, the one who has the hammer, kind of at his side after retrieving it from the last person. He goes, hey, all right, are you willing to play? Some tightens grasp, huh? Yeah. It's five silver, an entry. Five silver, that is. What's the prize?

Single swing. But winner gets the current pot, which stands at, and he turns to one other guards. He goes through a small bag and goes, that's gonna run about 43 gold. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll give you go. Five silver. Five silver, I mean, I'm so sorry.

Is this right? One swing, and you? Yes, yes, yes. One swing for you. Two swings. Two swings? Two swings? Oh, shit, okay.

Take as many as you want. What, two? No one's turn it over this morning yet. All right. Can you rage at this thing when you have it? That's what I was gonna try. Oh, yeah. Nice.

Okay. One and doubt. Roger. She's going first. Roger. Okay, I'll go first. So, uh. But I'm going to wait to give you my money, because I have a feeling Yasha might win, so I'm going to wait.

So, like that, you got friends' confidence on you. All right, Big Missy. Enzi, the heavy hammer. It's not too heavy in your glass. Come on, yes, yeah. It's not very well balanced either. It's not a battle-ready hammer. It's designed for this type of a show experience.

And you get the sense that this is, this hammers would not be the most effective for this. It might be intentional. So, it's your turn. People start gathering. You're up on the kind of elevated, like, two-foot platform there. They have the metal bar fulcrum all set beneath the stone. Hammers in your hands, what do you do?

Boy. Okay, so I would like to rage. And what do I just strength? This is a strength check, yeah. Okay. So you have advantage while you're aging, so roll twice, take the higher, and add your strength modifier. Ooh. Okay. 17.

17. You hit the metal bar, the stone falls back into rest. It's a heavy stone. What are we trying to do here? You're trying to, the stone is resting on the blower part, and there's a Welcome round centerpiece to it, trying to hit on this end to get it to push the stone to roll over. Oh, okay. And it kind of moves slightly and then falls back into place. So you get another. Good try. That was very, very strong there last. Don't worry. Well, I have another go.

We'll pay another. I did. I gave you 10. Oh, you did? Yeah. Tell me when you're cutting this button. Go ahead. Second sweet. You get another swing, yeah. You have an advantage while raging, so. 24. Oh!

24. You pull it back, and the one guy, kind of like looking over to one of the mates in the side and starts laughing and suddenly slams onto its other side to all four of them go That was something like the crowd around that you didn't notice started gathering starts cheering and then to the one guard who had the pet's like okay then um congratulations hands it over can i count it yeah go for you take a moment to count through while While staring at them, it comes out to roughly about, we'll say, 43 gold worth of silver,

including the 10 silver that you put into it. Or not including the 10 silver, so in addition to that, it's be 44 gold worth. It's mostly silver pieces. Oh shit. About seven feet away just out of habit. Caleb just went one, two, three, one. That's gonna buy us so many candy apples. All the guards go over and shift the stone back over.

onto the fulcrum, they pull in and they bring out about a gold piece each to throw a five gold back into the pot. They go, all right, back up and up. Who wants in? Who wants in? She's next. Oh, well, all right, five gold is all right. I'll toss in a gold piece just to make it interesting. Oh yeah, no, I'll do that. I see you going in. The cards are like, when you're into the... Yeah, I mean, it's... But you're not to play, right?

It's a game, right? I will take that bet. I'll bet against her. What? What? What? Yeah. I got one goal that says that she cannot do this. I'm the Booker, so you pay me. I don't think that's how that works.

So I just roll for strength check. Yep, just roll a strength check. Add your strength modifier. Oh! As you slam down again, the stowl. Over a second time, a second time. Yes.

Seemingly, the fulcrum said after you knocked it over, even prepared her for a better slam as it hits the all the The four soldiers of the righteous brand kind of look at each other, we're gonna take a break. Here for a second, for Tony in about 30 minutes, they hand the money over to you.

You get five, six gold. Seven gold. Yeah. Yeah. It's one gold. I just wanted to fire her up. Thanks. It worked, it worked.

I know. So they're going to inspect, they see them expecting the hammer, expecting the fulcrum, inspecting the stone, and they're basically at a process of wondering, if they had been somehow cheated out of this, but they can't find anything. I skip away.

At this point now, the smell of warm candied fruit begins to waft past you. You glance over and see there's a large cart that's selling all sorts of sweet fruit that have been coated in sugar. Some have like a sticky syrup exterior, and there are candied apples available for purchase. So it depends how much you guys want to purchase, if any.

I would very much... I have never had a candied apple before. You have to try them. They're so good! You've never had a candied apple before? It seems so basic. It's just like honey and an apple. Well, the candied apples are hard, right?

And then the caramel apples are softer. Do you have caramel apples? I didn't see the older woman who's there, who is just kind of a bit portly, a big smile, rosy cheeks, pulls from behind the counter. They're still cool enough, but you see a small tray that has about six caramel-covered apples. that you see they're still kind of gleaming and the little bit of light that's coming from the cloudy sky. Yes, yes, yes, that's what I want.

I haven't had one of those in such a long time. I'm going to buy one for all of us. All right, that's gonna be... We have to share one. Two coppery, so for seven, that'll put shade 14 copper. Okay, how much does that add up to in silver? One silver for copper. Okay, I pass it over.

You all, the silver silver. So there's six caramel apples here. You have seven with you. It's okay, no, it gets stuck in your teeth. I'll take the candy, because I've never had it. Okay, okay. Candy apple, all right for you, and the six for you? All out of caramel apples for the time being return here in an hour.

This little girl across the way, he was like, Oh, I cut a little slice up and give her one little slice. You approach and she kind of gets kind of scared, and as you get close you can see, she looks a little disheveled, probably like one of the less well-off people of the city of the Dash. You don't see a parental figure in the near vicinity, but as soon as you kind of, please, she... Where's your mama? Where's your mama? Do you have a mama? Is she around? It just runs off. Oh no, it's going to give you more, but okay, goodbye. Should we go after her? No. I can hunt her down.

No. While I start to enjoy my apple, I would like to look around and see if there are any book stalls or book barrels. A festive bookstall. Yes. A barrel of books. Go make a perception check. You people are terrible. Candy books.

Candy books. Candy books are books. She just appeared into the crowd. Perception is a girl. Grow a dog, win a book. 15. It does not appear that there's a strong, There's a strong presence of tome and or book retailers as part of the celebration, unfortunately.

What is the, is there any, while I was looking around, is there anything besides games and food? There's games, there's food. Looks like there are, like, celebratory tapestries and the colors of autumn. You see what seems to be crests, like small pressed crests of the empire that are used to either hang over your door is a good luck charm or to use as just a decor in the interior. A lot of its knick-knacks and just general collectibles. Most everyone out here, it's almost like a craft fair on top of being a celebratory. So there's a bunch of just random odds and ends that people just collect or purchase to add to their home interior. Huge long shot, probably, I know, but do I also see anything about the Cobalt Soul here? Glancing about? I mean, you do see the occasional person of the

Cobalt Soul robes, but they're not selling anything here. I'm gonna run up behind. Caleb, Caleb, have you run to Tech Magic on any of this? Well, you know, I tried to do a little stuff on the sly a little while ago, and it didn't work out so well. Just, there's just so much, I figure something's gotta be interesting. Well, if you can keep eyes off of me for a moment, I can do that if you like. I can absolutely do that.

I'm gonna run towards the tapestry move. Okay. And there you can see, it's a long, thin cart that's mainly just things on display. It looks like it's two wooden dowel rods at each side of this booth that all kind of push together to connect at the center, and all the tapestries are kind of just hung over the side on display for the front end. It looks like there's three individuals that are manning this booth. There isn't a whole lot of transaction going on there.

It's a little more of a specialty item in the sense that not everyone needs just to fill their place with tapestries, but they're on display. I'm seeing if there's anything deeply gaudy. Yes, actually. There is one that is an insignia or an interpretation of the symbol of the Platinum dragon. It is silver threads among like a standard sky blue coloring, and it looks like there's like several different dragon heads that are woven into the patterns, almost like an embroidery. For as much as you've known about the Platinum dragon and the religion, it's supposed to be. Surprisingly, Gotti.

I'm trailing about 40 feet behind Molly. Oh, that's beautiful. How much is that, then? One of the people running the booth quickly you see us, so it's kind of like a mid-30s, half-elf man with a bit of chin scruff and very, very short hair kind of leans around the corner and goes, oh, for the platinum dragon. This one was handcrafted by me and my mate. Over the period of about two months, hand-embroidered, very difficult, very exquisite for the entire piece.

for the entire piece, the central piece, if you're inquiring about, that'll run you about 10 gold pieces. We have smaller, almost like doily-sized renditions of it back here. How big is this piece out of curiosity? And he kind of takes the back and unfolds it entirely, but you can't quite get the full arm length to get up there.

This runs about six and a half, seven feet from top to bottom. It can be used this as a rug. Should you be so inclined and you aren't quite a fan of the Platinum dragon and one beneath your feet? It's purchased 10 gold. Ten gold. My God.

Right away. It begins folding it up with one of those other compatriots. They take the twine and manage to fascinate the three places. Bless you master craftsman. My God. It is such a rendition of the platinum dragon that I've never seen before. And I clutch at my platinum dragon brooch. Beautiful.

We are happy to bring joy to you and the house of your great deity. And they hand you this relatively massive tapestry. That's like almost seven feet in the end and you're just like... Why have fucking plans, people? I'm just swinging over my shoulder. And we're walking around like a pike. As this is happening, you see there are two other games. You're not seeing kind of the central space here.

And you walk past this, this structure. It's this kind of small forum-like circular stone building that's just been emptied and closed. But now there's crowds kind of walking in and out the front doorway, it looks like. like, and around it are where a lot of these games are set up. And you do see one that has a big banner that says Eagle Shot. And there is one large central platform where it looks like this is where a lot of public presentations are given here in the Pentamarket that is currently set up with a central table

and a number of members of the righteous brand as well as one that is very, very well adorned. A human male with kind of a brown hair that's pulled up in a almost like a top knot, he has a big thick beard. He looks like a handsome fellow, and is currently barking out something about the military. You're too far away to make out the details of it. But that one has a, what looks to be, a wooden carved sign that says soldier's spirit

and is currently put on the edge of the stage. Where in relation to all of this is the hearth of the Allhammer? Because I know it's in the Pentamarket. The hearth of the Allhammer would be on the other side of this large forum structure. I'm going to walk over to the eagle shot, was it? Eagle shot, yes. Yes. What's that game look like? As you approach, there are two crowns guard that are helming what looks to be a small

compact archery range. There's a series of trees that are at the very back that kind of mark what would normally be an alcove in the small park, but within this alcove there are three archery targets that are slightly off from each other at different distances. And they have a rack with different bows and a whole cache of arrows that are set to the side. So yeah. I'm just standing there like, what? Bows, man.

You could do it. It's so hard to pull it back. This thing does it for you. Maybe you know you can use it. All right. I guess I can go ask. Excuse me. Sir or madam.

Or madam. The first car turns around. Oh, a little girl, good to see you. What can I help you with? I'm wondering if you have to use a bow and arrow to compete, or can you use one of these? What do you? Which, you still have a bolt knocked in this hand-cross bow.

He's like, put the kids and put it. I'm not going to fire it at you. I don't have anything wrong with you. Little Miss, you shouldn't be waving that around in public. I'm not sure how you got a hold of that. Where's your mother? My father is over there. Yeah. Did you want to play this game?

Yes, Papa. But unfortunately by the rules, they have to use one of the provided bows. This one is pretty good. Please, please, sir, your daughter is a danger to the general public right now? No, she is an excellent shot. She's trained. She has not been trained proper use of that in a space in which it is safe for other people to be around. I'm just saying. Sure, surely. But how much to play your game?

If I could, could I just see that for a second? My daughter's crossbow you want. Takes it to crossbow and just pulls the string back, removes the tension and hands it back. There. So, would either of you like to place MagleShap? You see behind him somebody else that- I feel like we have to.

He just human-splained me. The other guard behind is currently setting up what looks to be an older woman who's in the process of getting the arrow lined up and keeps falling out of her grip. And the other ground is like, no, no, help put it up here and getting ready. Finally fires an arrow and she goes and disappears past one of the trees. It's like, oh no. Yeah, well, you know, I'll tell you something. If you want to have a laugh, let's have me do some physical sports, so that should be pretty good. That would be fun.

All right, let's do it. We will both enter your competition. Competition. All right, very well. That's one silver piece for three shots. Closest bullseye, if acquired, you get a rat from a cage. And he pulls off at the side here. You see what looks to be a small stack of wicker cages with rats inside them. Get yourself a pet rat. If you go ahead and get that middle bullseye, about part way across that range there, you go ahead and win yourself one of these finely crafted wooden swords. And you see they have like this decently whittled wooden sword and this kind of thing. the center cross-hilt for it is strapped with twine tightly, swings it a couple times and sets it down and lays it again, so it kind of rests and hits the ground off at the side. Now the farthest one over there, and you watch as the old woman pulls another shot, and it kind of almost hits the far target before it gets stuck in the tree,

about 10 feet behind it. Hit that one way back there, and that one will get you this. I mean, pulls up what looks to be a haphazard stitched doll with button eyes that the stitches are too wide, so it looks like the crissues like the crosses behind it are visible. There's no mouth, it's kind of like matted twine hair. What looks to be some sort of felt like material that's made a crown and a cape, says,

of our fine king, Birchwin, Drenble. Just a question for you, should I hit the one in the back, which is highly likely? Could we have the dolls weight in rats instead? He gives you a look like you just said a bad word. He goes, I suppose, though I'm curious. How far is the farthest one? I glance his back.

That's probably about 80 feet. All right, let's try. I really want that wooden sword. No, no. You don't have a sword, do you? Get that creepy doll, man. Come on, that creepy doll. Don't listen for it.

Get the doll. I bet it's cursed. Because it's a very... A little, like this kind of fashion. It's a horror movie waiting a half. None, if you get that sword, I'll give you my jade bracelet. Man. Is this an attack roll? It is an attack roll, and it's a short bow.

And he said it by 80 feet, but the farthest one's about 100 feet, which means it isn't it second range in a commitment, so the one of the back is a disadvantage. I'm not proficient in this thing at all, right? Well, let's go ahead and see for rogue proficiency. It's a simple-range weapon, you should be. I'm pretty sure you are. What does it say? Simple weapons.

Yeah. Okay. You are proficient with the short bow. So who's going first, if you don't mind me asking? You let me show my daughter how it is done. Of course, of course, understood. Thank you. Hands you one of the short bows off of the side and three arrows.

All right, they're construct. Watch my form and technique. I pick up the bow and I take that stick thing. And I pull it back like this. Yeah? Just, I'll continue. Which target are you aiming for? The farthest one, obviously.

All right, with disadvantage. Yeah, of course. So to add your dexterity modifier. Oh. And I do not think you're perfid. Oh, no, not at all. There is a three. Well, it's a wizard you might be actually for simple weapons.

No, you are not. Is it just simple weapons or is it simple ranged weapons? Ranged weapons. Well, it's simple range weapons, but those count as simple weapons. Okay. So, it gets about 40 or so feet before it gets stuck in the dirt. It's like, that was good. That was good.

The fretching on that one was probably not very good. Let me try again. The fretching? I think it's flat. Yeah. I have read a lot of books. I know it is fratching. You knock your secondary arrow.

Take a shot. Dang it, the second rolls are always really good. That is an eight. An eight. This one gets about five feet further. It almost hits a squirrel. Darts off, but then you're by a bush. You could have got your own prize.

One more shot, you can do this. I'm not well-traffed. I grab my wire that I use for the message spell, and I put my hair into a little... It sounds really painful. You shouldn't use wire to do that, Caleb. It's a loose. damages your hair.

It's bad for your scalp. Okay. Oh no. 10. This one, it gets 40 feet, which is halfway there, before it kind of hits the ground and sticks into the dirt. As soon as it finishes, just like a, that was good, that's good. Go fetch that and the other guard will runs out and grabs them and pulls the arrows to retrieve them. Full disclosure, I have no athletic ability that went as well as I expected.

That is surprising. Well, fine harvest close to you, friend, and for your daughter? Yes, it's my turn. All right, hands the bow over and the set of three arrows. Going with the dice Jill dies. You should not have done that. So do I add proficiency? You add proficiency and your dex mod, yeah.

So 11. 11. This one, arcs. It gets kind of near the target, but it ends up veering off the right and ends up just vanishing behind one of the secondary target and near the tree. I'm just saying, oh, it's better than your father. Oh. 12. 12.

This one hits the actual base of the far target. It misses the target entirely, but hits the actual the plank of wood that's holding it up. Walk it in, up. Walk it in. You see the beads have a little bit of like gold embossing, kind of etching. Little adjustment. sign of them. Yeah, you're bidding.

It's just, you know. Far target. That's... Fifteen. Fifteen. It hits the bottom of the target, no bull's eye. But you hit it and it's like, that was actually very good. Well...

Shut up, I don't need you to condescend to me. Give me another one! Right away, a little missing. He grabs three more arrows. I slapped down the silver for it. Thank you. Yeah. It was two, correct?

One silver for you shot. I put down two three shots. I put down two things. Six more shots. All right. There you go. She won't need six more shots. Two in quick succession. 20. 20. As you pull back, perfect bullseye under the farthest target. And there's this brief pause as the guard kind of spins around and goes, I'm not done. I get four more shots. Two in quick succession to the middle one. Is it still disadvantaged, the middle target? The middle one is not a disadvantage.

Oh, well then, should I re-roll? Yeah, I re-roll that. Just rerow that one. Okay. I will still use your shitty dice. Oh, God. Two 23s. Both arrows, we're talking like Disney, Robin Hood style.

One arrow, this one splits the first arrow. The guard's still like we're coming from the first bull's leg. It's like, well, I'd... I've been two more. To the short one. 16 and a 21. Both hit at the same time. Trouble sign of the car.

Looks slowly over towards you. Well done. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Here's your doll. And the sword. And two swords. Two swords. Two swords.

I thought it was the rats. And two rats. And two rats. And double rats! Double rats, yeah. But that's it, because I thought that was dinner. We have. Oh, we're not eating the rats?

No, it's not. But that's my favorite. These are not like the ratch. So you now have your inventory. Two rats in rat cages, two wooden swords. You can have both wooden swords. Thanks. D-Dy-Kishu-Dutch.

A hand-stitched doll of King Bertrand. Bertrand. That's a really good doll. It's good, good. What it really is. Would you like the rats? Or were you going to eat one or? Well, we can share.

Alive or do you cook it or? No, it's, I like to have it cooked. It falls off the bone. It's like a nice. Okay, I can wait, I guess. It depends on what you have at your disposal, yeah? Yeah. Later, as it'll be a celebratory, we could candy them.

Oh. Or caramel them. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Let's try. Can I start to wander away to me with the All-Hammer? Look, guys. Sure.

looks pretty cool. Look, and I want to go over to the military booth. Okay. You're going to cut yourself for this. Well, this is happening. Jester, you make your way around the large forum, and there you see the hearth of the Allhammer. You've passed it before, and you can see it's the domed iron structure. It's been kind of left to rust a bit at the edges. The tops of the dome are polished where it's easily accessible, but the very, very peak of the dome is a little bit red, brown, rusted.

There are a number of open arches in the inside. in the inside, you see the large central forge that marks the center of the temple. Is there a statue of the Allfather or the All-Hamber guy? The All-Han. You do see in the center of the large anvil that marks there has the symbol of the All-Fother, printed on each side, and acts as both a ceremonial anvil for the creation of religious artifacts and items as part of worship and as the central statue for worship itself. That is the closest thing there is in this temple to a central focus of worship.

Now, I'd be real careful with that doll. They put little spirits of kids in those. Are they mostly gone because of the celebration? Nobody's, it's not busy on the inside, because right now everyone's focus is on the actual celebration. There are, looks to be three individuals that are manning the interior of the temple. One of which is the herald. Each temple in the city has a herald. That kind of is the one that's the keeper of that temple.

So female dwarf, kind of dark brown hair, and three long braids that trail past the middle back. Like a chain mail robe on that extends past the knees and is currently sitting on a bench and just eating, looks like dried meat out of a small pouch and just kind of people watching as people walk by the temple. Nobody's in there actively worshiping at the moment. I go inside.

Okay. As you- Burn the place down. Dumb-Dub. Do you go in trying to avoid attention? or are you announcing yourself as you arrived? No, no, I'm going to just casually walk in, just kind of, you know.

Okay. Yeah. As you kind of walk in a voice in the corner from the direction of where the Harold was goes, I miss, if you need something, don't be free to let me know. We're just sitting around. Thank you. Of course, of course. Oh, I should have disguised myself first.

I leave. Okay. I go literally right around the corner and disguise myself and then come right back in. What do you disguise yourself has? I guess disguised self as an old woman. The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders,

an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time. And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job.

This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s. And man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast. version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. Look, there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one happy, sad, confused.

I'm Josh Horowitz, and yeah, I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly happy, sad, confused is the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers. From Andrew Garfield and Scarlett Johansson to Christopher Nolan, casting what ifs, backstage stories, and much more. Listen to Happy Say I Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Um, who just burped? An old woman. You? No, it wasn't. Um, with like, um, you know, like a really tight bun and like little teeny glasses and a little bit of a cane.

All right. I guess I can't make myself have a cane, can I? No, that is not an extension of it. I just walk kind of hunched over. Okay. All right, so as you come around the corner and make your way in, you kind of saunter in the far end of the temple through one of the arches that marks the interior. Coming through the shadow and the old, the Herald once again and goes, Ahd if you need something, right over here. Yeah, all right, that's fine.

Goes back, just like my grandma. Just like my grandma. All right, what do you want to do? Is there anybody in there? So nobody's in there? Well, I mean, there's people in there. There's the herald sitting in the back, eating on the opposite end of the anvil, and there's two other folks that are kind of on the outskirts of the arches looking out in the crowd, just people watching. Okay, I'm going to walk around to the back end of the anvil and just act like I'm praying, but I'm going to wait until it looks like they're all looking the other direction.

Okay. And then... As you begin to pray, the two others that are on the outside who've noticed you enter, their attention doesn't wander to you for you for. for too long before they go back out to the celebration and people walking by and people watching in general, you're on the opposite side of the anvil from the Herald, who's still kind of just chewing on our meat. What do you want to do?

I would like to get my paint set out. Ooh, all right. And paint pink hearts all over the backside of the anvil, along with the traveler was here. And then I'm going to leave a couple travel brochures for the traveler. Yeah, I think that's good, but they're like, you know, sizable hearts. I want like nice pretty pink all over the hammer. Okay.

All right. Just for the sake of presentation, because you're doing this with a bit of haste knowing that you're under a picture. Go and roll a performance check. Okay. With a pink dice. Correct. Eighteen. Eighteen. Eighteen.

All right, as you quickly begin to finish this art, this heart, this heart, this heart, half of the other, it's here. You go through, you hear this like, cross the way from the Herald. You stop for a second. In the reaction, continue going. You finish up the art piece. One of the other guardians of the temple begins to turn around and walk back towards the Herald, and you kind of pull back for a moment, but they turned away from you. And it seems that you've managed to go this far without being noticed. You finish up your last heart, little exclamation point and underline of the traveler. Oh, and I'm going to take some sequence off of my sequence glove and sprinkle it on them.

T-de-l-lid. A little granny, pecing curiously. Just, you put the pamphlets there on the side, kind of slip them beneath the offering bowl, the base of it. I want one sitting right on top of the anvil. Yes, oh, that's going to leave. Make a slide a hand check on that one. Because that will be creeping into the view of the Herald. 11.

11. As you place it on top, the voice on the opposite end goes, oh, do you need help there? Oh. No, just leave it a little message from my son here. He's a big worshipper. And I walk away. As you get up and start walking away,

the Herald stands up and begins walking towards the other side of the Anvil. I walk really quickly. It was like speedily running granny into the crowd and as you get- Drop the disguise as soon as you, in the middle of the crowd? Oh no, no, it's around the corner. I'm not. All right, well, it's still in your disguise as you're charging into the crowd behind you.

Your voice go, ah, just like screaming and you hear this ruckus as people around and start looking behind at the shouting sound as you dart around the corner and drop disguise. And as you do, you can now see the herald and the two keepers, the temple are now like pushing through the crowd looking, sort of like, how do you want to see? an old woman, can't get it, and he's like describing you as best they can, and it looks like there's a bit of commotion going on. As you begin to kind of disperse into the crowd, making your weight of my caramel apple, you hear a, you hear a crunch sound in your hand

kind of shakes for a second, you look down, and a mysterious secondary bite was taken out of the apple. Oh. Oh. I like the spot. Oh. You're making out with your dog? They have a special relationship. While this is happening, you head to the military station? Anybody going with Bo? Yeah, I'll go. All right.

As you guys approach at this point towards the soldier's spirit, you see this larger platform in the middle of the pantomarket. There you see the central military figure wearing ornamental armor with the top knot. There is a table set up there with these benches, and you can see there are two burly men, one who is just this hairy, heavy kind of, of thick woodsman type who is wearing a leather apron. Sam Riegel type. Yes, exactly.

He's a super butch. Just hand clasped with what looks to be a trained soldier who's wearing elements of the righteous brand armor but has taken bits of it off. And they're both just going, and they're in the middle of an arm wrestling match. And they're both just tensing back and forth. Before the brawny guy slams the soldier's arm down on the table,

and the crowd around goes, And the crowd around goes like, ah, there's a shout and cheer. And the gentleman in the center goes, that was well done, well done. And congratulations to you. So, now that you've proven yourself, my friend, would you be interested at all in joining the righteous brand? Being a strong one of your own, right?

And the guy's like, ah, piss off, I don't want. It's like, it's a good wage, gold per day, fed, all the commitment you need, and you help keep the empire safe. No? All right, very well. Anyone else? Yeah, what's up? Well, we are having a contest to see who here is the strongest.

Cool. Who's the strongest? Well, so far it's that gentleman and points over to the heavy kind of burly fellows off at the side, who's currently kind of just like flexing him, cracking his wrist. If you win, you have to stick around in our remorse a whole bunch of people because you're suddenly the best? I don't want to, like, dedicate more time to this. I mean, you don't have to. Do I still are going to be, like, the best, though, if this guy sticks around and just keeps going?

Probably, but don't be surprised if other contenders start following you around the town to try and take your title. This is like the King of Kong. Is this really that important to you guys, yeah? Not to us, but it's a fun place to display your skill and talent. Plus, we're always looking for some fine young soldiers to come and join us out there in the fields,

to take down the shore Hasean evils and keep all these fine folks here, well taken care of. For a gold a day? Yeah. Buying people's loyalty for a goal today. Sorry, I just, I'm all right, all right. I heard something about like a victory pit. Is this a victory pit?

It's the worst. No, you're not. Points over in that large forum building, that the kind of circular form building that you saw that now the crowd starting to watch into that had been kind of closed off in previous weeks. That is the victory pit, and that will be happening in a few hours, but you're welcome to compete here if you're feeling so feisty. Yeah, sure. All right. What's your name? Bo. Recruiter Leopold Wendstiker. Pleasure to meet you.

Person, Bo. Nice to meet you. All right. What is it, Leopold Sidney? Wendziker. W. W. Yes. Recruiter, Leopold, W-N-S-T-I-K-E-R.

We got a W-A-N-S-T-E-R. Swank-Sucker. All right. So. This is Top-N-O-D-D-T-N-D-E-R-K-O-K-O-K. Top-N-O-K-O-K-O-K. Okay. That's the Wang.

All righty. So. Whoever wins this gets to go up against our finest soldier, who should be back from his lunch break here in the next 10 minutes or so. So we have the new challenger, Bo. Let's see. And points it over to the kind of grizzled-looking beastly man who's currently chugging down the final bits of it looks to be a tanker or a veil.

It spins around, wipes it off of his beard and stands up, Yeah, I'm coming. And he gets up onto the edge of the stage, goes, all right, well, this is Kendall. He's a strong fella, so good luck. He sits down on a... You know, fail this miserably? Sit down in his stool and puts his meaty arm out with the fingers eyes. Good to meet you, Kendall.

Sure. It's sweaty. It is sweaty. No. To steal your mind. Oh, God. Leapold goes... One, two.

Two, three, go ahead and make a strength check. Oh my god, just, just, just, these knuckle hairs are like fly legs. Just a check? Yep, just add D20, add your strength modifier. Five. Five. That's no modifier.

At that center point, you immediately begin to give to his grasp. You see this slight grin begin to curl underneath his wiry beard as his arm begins to push you close to the edge of the table, making another strength check. Dig in, dig in. A critter gave me this, they said I was lucky. It's not that lucky, 12? 12, and with that,

on to the table, you lose. Knuckles, a little bruised from the slam. Again, somebody was like, ha ha! That was worth following around for. Yeah. Thought you were gonna beat him. I'm really, like, slippery, I'm not, I want to do that victory pit thing, though.

Well done, though, bow, well done. Yeah. And here, and he hands you, it looks to be a small, piece of parchment that's rolled up and goes, this is information about if you would be so interested in coming and joining the Righteous Brand. Audition for our Acapella group. King's Man.

You can find us at the Mero Keeps of the Righteous Brand on the outskirts of the northern end of Zadash. Should you be so interesting. Mero keeps? Yes. We've heard of that before. This is in the area of the signet wall, which is the kind of the military district of the city.

Okay. All right. Anyone else? And another gentleman raises his hand and gets up on stage and they begin to do a showdown and you watch as the two of the men to go back and forth. However, that same beastly figure, Kendall, still manages to defeat the guy and slam him to the table, get up again, and then at some point,

shortly thereafter, the pole goes, Ah, he returns, he returns. Gunther Prost, our finest soldier here in the city, would like to challenge the current standing contender. And you watch now as this massive behemoth of a man, kind of like the mountain from Game of Thrones, about seven foot, 350 pounds guy wearing the righteous brand

silver and red armor gets up under the state. Clean-shaven, except for this perpetual five o'clock shadow that doesn't seem to leave his square jaw. His hair is trimmed super short, and you see the receding hair line kind of curling back into a widow's peak, sits on the table, puts his arm out there, and you can You can see the huntsman kind of, for the first time, kind of loses cool, and you watch as the two of them grasp together, and they're going to begin to roll off.

Yes. What's going on? Bow lost. You watch the head's tightened, and with that, Gunther begins to twist the arm further down, further down. You can see the huntsman character is starting to grimace. Come on, Gunther. Herv pushes it back in the center, and now they're currently neck and neck.

But once again, Gunther pushes him back. And with that final hit, well! Kendall is taken out like, ah! Grasps his hand and rubs his fingers and like darts off the stage, seemingly shamed in front of a crowd of people. Everyone's like, oh, now probably about 30, 40 people who watched that last match. Go Gander! Which one did you do the arm wrestling with bow? Have we met him before? Is he human?

The one I just lost. He just looks humans. He's just huge shot of that. Didn't I mean to come there? You should take a shot of that. Are you gonna take a shot at this for it? Me? Yeah, you're sure of the bee, Ray.

You're very big and strong for us. Yeah, you know. You got this. At the very least, you have a lot of proof. Sidebar, Caleb is going to sneak off while everybody's involved with this. Okay. It's not good to arm wrestle 30 minutes after eating a caramel apple. apple.

Oh, I never heard that one was born. Gasha, you should do it. You're very strong. Mm-hmm. And you had a candied apple, so you should be fine. Extra strong because of the candy dapple. And your rat died. I mean, Bo is...

No, he didn't. No, I mean, just from in your past, yeah. Well, okay. Good constitution. Yeah, come on, let them know. Do it, Tasha. Are you doing any more of the... Wrestling with the arms?

Leopold was looking over the crowd, goes, looking over the crowd, goes, oh. Would you like to try your hand at our finest warrior? Sure. Come on up, Miss. Miss Yasha, to the table, are new. Yeah! The crowd against the cheers, you step up onto the stage,

everyone gets to gather up around the space, kind of filling in the outskirts. You can see all these faces looking up at you, bright-eyed and eager to either watch you get destroyed or destroy. Gunther, who's currently just standing with his arms cross, sees you approach, and he's a good, over a foot taller than you and kind of looks down as you walk towards the table in. All right.

Hello. He sits down, puts this elbow on the table with a heavy slam. Okay. Grasps you, both your arms are sitting around. Use your feminine one. Oh, I wouldn't come. I shake my hair a little. Don't hold back.

He's taking a moment and kind of just looking you over, like he's studying something. Try not to make eye contact. He's trying to make eye contact. eye contact moving around. Looking down and putting my hair down. Away. Her hair is so beautiful. Don't think that's healthy.

Don't look at him. As Leopold just kind of talking up at this whole this kind of saying, All right, we watch now here is all fighting his kids. And it kind of fades away in the background as Gunther, who's kind of leaned forward now and says, Interesting styling. I've seen it before.

What do you mean? You're not from around here, are you? Well, neither are you. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing, just an observation. I've been on the front lines long enough. And with that, Leopold walks up and goes, and three, two, make a strength check with advantage because he wasn't expecting it.

Natural 20. Natural 20. 20. No joke. No joke. What's the mean? Right there. Their arms ripple. Beautiful, beautiful, mu. This was thanks to Gil. Yeah.

So what does that mean? As soon as you do that, he catches it. You both are just kind of caught in the center here, tensing up. The whole crowd goes, ooh. I think it's really tense and quiet as you're both just flexing. At this point now, you do make eye contact as the anger is kind of built up inside you. Make another strength check. Fuck.

Are you still raging? Oh yeah. Well, she hasn't raged yet. Can I rage? I don't know if I can do that. Not on this roll you can. Okay, I'll do it. Okay, I'll do it.

Okay, so seven. Seven. You feel yourself giving away your arm going further back towards the table. And you see this grin across his face. His breath smells of like mildewed bread and alcohol. It kind of wafts past your nose. Go ahead and roll a strength check. Are you raging for this one?

Yeah. message and send a message to Gunther? Goodther, yeah. I'm just going to quickly just say, Kendall is getting to second base with your wife right now. Do not respond to this message. All right, so you get to roll out of the strength check with advantage. Okay. How far away is everybody from us?

They're down, like two and a half, three feet, because you guys are on a race platform, and they're about five feet from you. about five feet from you. Oh shit, okay, never mind. Oh shit. With advantage, with advantage. Okay. You're gonna roll again.

Because you do, you are raging. 21. 21. As he's pushing you down towards his on the table, you muster up another breath of strength from inside. And with that, you push him back to the center. You're both at the even keel. Roll again.

With advantage? With advantage. Okay. This is very stressful. Okay, okay. That's good. 21. 21.

He starts giving ground and you watch the sweat now beating across his forehead. His nostrils are flaring and that horrible smell of his breath is coming in bigger and more constant wages. He starts to his grip up into your eyes once more. Roll again. Finish him! Finish him! Get the leg, Johnny!

I can't do a bath right now because I'm stressed. 14. 14. It brings you back up to the center roll again. The crowd, each time the ship happens, it's like, ooh, oh God. 10. 14. Yeah.

He rolled a 7 plus 5, so. Right to the center, roll again, roll again. The crowd's going wild right now. Leopold's like leaning in now watching this happen. Yon shot. 17. 17. Yasha!

Yeah, yeah. Over the chair. Oh, okay. Advantage. Advantage. 22. 22. He pushes you right back in the center.

Rolled in 18. Oh, boy. You guys are right there again at the focal point. The crowd's like starting to go completely breathless at this point. It's just back and forth, back and forth roll again. He's starting to breathe really heavy. 21. 21.

You push it back again. You can see now like the muscles are straining and popping, the veins are bulging. His breaths are getting heavier. His shoulders looking like it's almost dislodging as he's like using his head. He's like using his torso to push against it. Roll what's more. Okay, okay. Okay, 19.

He immediately stands up and like shaking his arm at that point. I immediately when I slam it, I just get up and walk off. Lee Paul goes, amazing show from... Yasha! Yasha! And he runs up behind you and catches up to you. And as you step off the stage, he steps off with you and goes like, I'm sorry to bother you.

That was incredible. Had you any interest at all? Had you any interest at all in joining the righteous brand? No. No. Think about it. He pulls into a small satchel and pulls out of world peace statements. It's a fantastic thing you would do for the empire and for everyone here.

You look like a fine soldier, and based on your skills up there, you'd be a great help on the front line. Oh, I don't... Okay, I will take this with me, but I don't... I don't like groups of people working together for a cause. But I will take it with me and... Okay. I walk away. Did she win anything? Did she get the prize?

Strangely enough, there is no prize for this. There's no buy-in. It's merely for the bragging rights of the presentation. It's a presentery... Lame! Wow. Hey, Asha, check it out. I got one too. It's a really shitty prize, though. What does it... did you look at it yet? No.

I bet yours says, please don't ever contact us again. What dicks? Can you read it for it? It says. As you read it. It says. As you read it. It's from Mauritia.

Do that speak at the same time. Here, e, here, e, here, e. It speaks to the righteous brand and talks about all the wonderful possibilities for glory. It's housing and gear provided. It's working in a good teamwork environment to protect the people, of the Empire, has opportunities to rise through the ranks and to become. It's propaganda.

It pays one gold a day at start with possibilities of races from there. The training is in Blade Garden. And after a period of training there, it's three years minimum service in the military. And then you can decide to stay or not. And it goes into a small print. It says, like, desertion is illegal

and brings imprisonment and fines. The years. A gold a day, that's pretty good. Right? Is it? If you're only training, they send you to the front line, then it's questionable. I think I've literally made like 200 gold since we've met minimum at this point. Does it mean, we've been making a good amount?

Not you want mine just in case if you want to join? I'll take it. As you're having this conversation, there's a voice from the tag. I was like, ha-ha, that was quite an amazing display, if I say so myself. As you turn and look, you see there's a gentleman there who's about tall, a little over six foot, very, a gentleman, not the gentleman. No, no, no, no, that's not what I was going for. Oh, it's no, he looks like. He's a very strong-looking human male

with like a ruddy tan skin and long jet black hair that's braided in a single thick braid that goes past his waist in the back. You can see he's dressed in partial scale male across the chest and part of the shoulders. Like a dull iron color to it that's over his chest. You see a heavy waistband of dull gray leather. That's like a thick, most foot-thick piece around there.

and a rough-looking warhammer that's kind of strapped to his side, and he's kind of has his arms crossed and smiling widely at you, with a very welcoming smile. It was impressive. That guy you just destroyed up there. It's kind of a douche. Yeah, I could tell. What's your purpose here?

You're looking for work? Me or? Yes, you. I mean, it depends on what kind of work, I guess. Well, mercenary work, of course. Oh, well, yeah. All right. First off, my name is Darrow.

Hello, Darrow. What's your name? Yasha, Sanipat? Our name is Yasha. Pleasure to meet you. Well, I am the de facto leader of a mercenary band known as the Stubborn Stock. We are out of Guardson on the Narsuri Coast,

but we've been hired for a seven-month stint so far by the Empire, and it's been paying pretty well. We've had some pretty good scenarios here. The retainer has been nice, and honestly, it's not bad to be paid to sit around in case they need us. So what kind of work is just like going out and killing things? Well, when they need us, go out kill things to hunt things down. There's a lot of business that they can't bring the military to and the Crowns Guard to stay around the city, so they send us out and about.

But that's only it need us. And it's no contract. You can come and go as you please if you're going. Well, it's contracted. You have to be there for their disposal. Like we're stationed up in Noghvarat and have been for the length of this contract. But we were able to come down for this celebration, and it's been not too bad. It's a good wage.

Sit around, occasionally hunt down some criminals, or hasty in terror that's come down from the mountains. It's a pretty decent living, if I say so myself. And you look like a very capable soldier, if I say, again. Yeah. Yeah, you can say so. So, would you be interested? Maybe, I don't know.

Do you have like a pamphlet or something? We have no pamphlet. But my band of esteemed warriors are planning to be entering the victory pit later this afternoon. The victory pit. And we could very much use an additional soldier of your capability. We were actually thinking of going that way. Yeah, I'm afraid she's spoken for it.

He turns and looks and seemingly for the first time notices the rest of your group. He was like, oh, I'm terribly sorry. I mean no disrespect. I did not understand that. I wish not to step on any toes here. It was merely a curiosity. What do you call?

What are you called? The Mighty Nine. To traveling cognito. Just kidding. The Mighty Nine. The Mighty Nine. Very good. Where Yasha's Booker?

It's like her agency. They're all actually very, very strong and very tough. Yeah. I won this doll before. That's impressive. That's a good find. Good on you. Yeah.

You know what that's supposed to be? The king or something? I was gonna say a tiny asshole, but one and the same, really. Wait, I heard you say you're from Noguarat, yes? Well, we're stationed in Noguhrat, but we're from a ways further than that. Are you, did you notice any of the kids that were missing up there? That has been an occasional problem, yes. We have been sent to investigate two of those instances, and in all of them it seemed to be they were stolen.

I'm sorry, I don't know. I don't know how much I can discuss of these with you. Oh, we're really good at keeping secrets. Make a general charisma check, just to see if he trusts your face. You trust your face. Do I trust your face? A general charisma check. Oh, that would be a natural one there.

Oh, right. It's, we've looked into it. Do not worry. But, you know, we'll see how long the contract goes. I do not know how much luck we'll have. It's kind of a dire situation. Is that what you're being paid for up there? One of many things.

Whoa. But you said you've been fighting on the front lines of... Well, not yet. Not yet. Just the ones that come too close in. There have been a few excursions into the empire itself, and that's why we're hired. They're basically bringing whoever they can on hand

to help keep the home fort defended. What are you fighting if I may ask? What am I fighting? Right now? Well, in Shorehouse, if you go out there. Oh, we haven't been to Juraz. You haven't been. They've kept us in the empire so far.

They've kept you in the empire. Yeah, they keep the army on the eastern side, but we're meant to find things that the army cannot be bothered with. I understand. You fought this victory pit before. No, actually. We've only really been in the Empire for the first time this past half year, and I've heard things about it, and, you know, I figured we come and try it. So they gave us a week off to come on down here to the dash, and me and my friends are going to take our best attempt at this. How many people are in your group?

within your group. Oh, within our question. Including myself, a grand total of six mighty warriors. And all six of you fight? All six of us five are different techniques, yes. What kind of techniques, just in case you know we have to fight you? I'm not gonna tell you, and it's not that kind of tournament. But anyway, I do not mean to be a problem.

If ever you change your mind. Eskidemics of capital. Yeah, no, what is it? We had to go sign up for this. He holds out a copper coin that's a little larger than the normal piece of copper. He goes, just escarund. He tosses it to you. You take it, and it looks like a small copper platter, kind of coin-ish in its design,

and on it is printed the name of his group, the stubborn stock. Business cards? That is so cool. We need coins. We need coins. We need something. So how do I? So how do I, do I just show it around or? Well, look for any place in a city where we might be or might not be

and see if you've heard of us in the vicinity. If they know where we are, don't bring you to us. If they don't, they will not. Where did you get those coins? One of our fellas makes them. Is it like blacksmith in the thing? Loosely, and he takes it and shows it off, and it's not made that well. He goes, it's functional more than it's beautiful.

I think it's great, you know. I appreciate it. Yeah. All right, anyway, we have to go prepare for this tournament. If you are standing around, please come cheer us on. That would be fantastic. We need to go sign up for the tournament. Absolutely, right.

Pleasure to meet you, Mighty Nine. Nice. And he heads off back towards the victory pit. Which we awkwardly go in the same direction. It's like when you say bye and we're trying to walk away. We wait. Wait 30 seconds. One, two.

While we're waiting, can I just say, why did we not think about branding? We should have coins, cards. You should be writing a big nine on a wall wherever we go, like everywhere, just tagging it, just everywhere. Why a nine, though? Because we're the mighty nine. But they thought the nine. I know, but they don't know that. When you say it out loud, it's much easier that our symbol is the number nine, don't you think?

I think I saw lots of random nines around the city. I don't think I'd know what that was connected to it. But if you did know, then you'd be one of the cool kids. Are we trying random minds? I'm gonna start practicing... Have you seen mimes? Making a cool logo for us in my sketchbook. All right. I've actually never seen a mime.

What errand are you on? Well, I'll wait till they wind down. That could be a while. They could be a while. Well, back at the righteous brand when I snuck out, it would be possible for me to find like an alleyway or somewhere secluded just so I can cast a sky self or myself. Allow myself.

Yeah, it'll be a short jump, not too hard to find a dark in corner. You can do it. Okay. Then I would like to make a darkened corner. I look exactly like I do, however, the clothing that I'm wearing is a shade of blue that is similar, but not identical to the robes that I have seen people from the the Library of the Cobalt Soul. So a similar blue and like very large Coke bottle glasses. Very well. My eyes go or fish-eyed when you see them. But everything else is the same. Okay. Easy enough to do. And I would like to find one of those people who was dressed like they came from. from that library that I saw that day, Beauregard.

Okay. Yeah. Make an investigation check. You begin to kind of port the crowd doing this. You guys have noticed that Kayla's been gone for a little bit. Investigation, you said? Is it 24? Wow.

Yeah, within a very short time, asking a few questions, and looking through part of the crowd, one of them points over to the edge of the Penton Market on the northern side. And over in that direction, you can see there are two of the robe wearing individuals. One appears to be one of the monks that works within the archive itself, and one looks to be wearing higher up robes. You're not sure what that means or what the ranking is within the couple.

I would like to approach them. All right, as you approach. Yeah. Excuse me, I am sorry. May I trouble you for a moment? I know this is untoward in the middle of a festival. The one that's in the nicer dress you can see is apparently an Elvin woman. You see this kind of long strands of blonde, almost silver hair that goes in front of the ears,

and the rest of the hair kind of falls past the shoulders. Beautiful, natural, no makeup. Even for Elban standards, you could see a little bit of age. This appears to be an older elf comparison to a lot of the brighter faces and turns to you. Of course, what can we help you with? Yeah, again, I am very sorry. I am a traveling writer. I am writing a history of the great cities of the empire.

And I have heard wonderful things about the library that is under your stead. And I don't know, I have viewed it from the outside. It is a beautiful structure, but I don't know what it entails to visit it. And I was wondering, do you allow outsiders? I don't know if it costs a fee or if you need some sort of letter of recommendation.

But I am very eager to learn about the library itself and the city and everything that I can learn about it so that I can write a more extensive it would just mean so much to me. Make a deception, Jack. It's all true, though. Well...

It is a 13. A 13, okay. Well, of course. It is open to the public. You just are required to come when there is an available monk to escort you through the premises. Of course, you cannot take anything

from the archive itself, but you're welcome to read while in the presence of one of our various monks and or worshippers of the Knowing Mistress. The entire library? Well, the public portions of it, yes. Oh, of course.

But yes, just need to come on a day in which the archive is open and available, sign in, and you'll be assigned one of our various attendees of the archive, and you will have the run of the public library of which to read and make notes of. You may take your own copy of notes,

but, of course, it is only within the public space. It's far simpler than I had imagined. I'm glad you asked. Thank you so much. Forgive me. This is forward. What is your name? Jenna, archivist Jenna.

It is a pleasure. This is a different subject almost entirely, but I was wondering, I'm in to make a stop at all the great libraries of this city. I was wondering, is it a similar situation at the Hall of Irredition? They are a little different. They maintain their knowledge for those who are actually there as part of the curriculum.

You have to speak to the headmaster as well. They have, from what we know, as we are not allowed either, quite a decent cache of archaic knowledge as well. There has been some sharing, but they are particular. What was the headmaster's name? That would be Ormit, I believe. Let me double check here, so I don't say it wrong. No, that is...

No, Omid Hus. So, Ormett Hussein is running the Hosevir addition? Yes. Okay. Apropos of nothing, I have heard about this tower attack. That's terrible. Yes, that was a bit disconcerting, definitely. Thankfully, it is a well-defended tower.

and Zabasbyspire has stood for quite some time and has its capabilities defending itself, as we've seen. I'm amazed it did not fall. Well, you should ask them how they did that. You'll know as to why they're so secretive. Do they accept, oh, no, they don't accept visitors then. Well, I don't know. We've always gone specific business, so it can certainly inquire.

I haven't attempted to go from the standpoint of a possible student, but you could ask. Well, I have taken up enough of your time. That's all right. I'd just like to say thank you. Of course. Have a wonderful festival. You as well.

Happy harvest post. I turn a corner and fucking book it. Alrighty. So, as you return to the rest of the group, you guys are met by a strangely adorned Caleb with an interesting ensemble. You've got some new. We've got some new specs there.

What do you mean? What did you just get up to? New robes too. Yeah, we're up with the binoculars. It's up with the blue. I was sightseeing. Oh. Do you need those and we never knew?

Where are we right now? You guys are on the outside of the Victory Pit. The crowds are starting to swarm into a central kind of archway that's open. Are they all around us or are we out to the side? Right now you're in part of the crowd as people are kind of rushing past, so. Okay, so I lean down to tie my shoe. tie my shoe and let the cloak fall around me and I get down between Yasha and Ford, and when I come up, everything is back to normal.

Okay. Your glasses fell off when you were bent over. It gives me a headache, so I took them off. Where were you at? Exactly what I was saying. I was sightseeing. I was asking about the libraries. Oh, nice. Lots of them running? Not so many.

No. Goebbels a good cut of iron you. What? You look good in blue. Okay, shall we go into the Victory Pit? Yeah, let's sign up. I'm very curious. All right.

So, as you guys gather your strength, your interest, your nerve, you go in with the rest of the crowd that is now beginning to gather towards the front end of the victory pit, as you step towards the central archway into the kind of shaded interior of the main entryway, we're going to take a break. We're going to take a break. back here in a few minutes to pick up to this tournament and all that it entails. Oh man. A festival. What a festival. The festival. So tonight, as part of our Wormwood giveaway, we have a Bocote tabletop dice tray.

My friends at Wormwood, very fancy leather interior. It's very pretty. This is a good one. That is actually, yes. You can have Jester's dice box, kind of. So tonight the keyword is celebration. So if you'd like to come into the Twitch chat and enter the word celebration to become part of drawing as long as you're in the US and in Canada

outside of Quebec, otherwise you can enter, I'm very sorry. Laws are weird, but enter only once any more than that you may be disqualified and we'll come back into the break with a winner to be announced. Until then we'll see you guys here in a few minutes. You guys are so slow in the draw tonight. Welcome back everybody. All right so before we get kicked back in we have our winner of the one-word giveaway tonight, which is mumbly underscore Joe 1212. Mumbly Joe 112, congratulations. NUMBLEEN-MUBA.

We'll get your information if he hasn't already. We'll get that shipped out to you. Congrats. All right, so. Diving back in, folks, as you have muscled your way through the crowd, making your way into the shaded interior of the front portion, kind of the receiving chamber of the victory pit.

This two-leveled circular fours. like structure in the center of the pentamarket here. You push in the crowd or people are starting to find each other and push away to find seats into some of the openings lead off to the sides in the center. There is a pedestal with what looks to be some sort of a barker or an organizer up there in like a long dark gray and brown set of robes.

It looks to be a human male in his late 50s. It's kind of like fighting his own age and losing with a comb over thinning hair and a broom-like gray mustache that's poorly colored with dark wax. As he's chilling out at the crowd and he says, Please, enter slowly the event begins. Shortly the next few hours, push it, side.

This way, please, go evenly and he's gonna push him off two different directions. What are you guys doing? Should we go in then, yes? Oh, I think we are. Is this where we go if we're going to fight? I'm sorry, the fights will be soon. How do we be one of the fights?

We'd like to enroll in the competition. Do you wish to enter? Yes, but. Oh, entry may have already been closed. No, we're real good. You definitely want us to be in this. We put on a real good show. Let me ask.

And he turns around and steps off of his pedestal and heads to this wooden door. It's about 10 feet behind to me. Shubs through, kind of closes behind him, slams. A few moments passed and people begin filtering through, still kind of pushing past you and bumping you in the shoulders. What do you think that that dude meant when he said it wasn't like a normal fight? I don't know. I wonder how experienced these fighters are. Do you think it's stupid that

we're signing up for it without knowing much? Yes, very. Very. So curious, is it a bare knuckles thing or is it no holds bar to whatever you want? Maybe it's like an obstacle course, you know, like a ninja warrior style. Maybe it's like a cook-off. Maybe it's like one. That's all right with that. A cook-off. That is true, it could be.

Maybe we all sit around and talk about our feelings. Ford, you're really good at making chili. The door opens again across the way. As you guys are having this conversation, and the gentleman comes out again and goes, quit me, follow me, follow me, yes, yes, yes, yes. Guys make your way through the crowd

and follow him into this back chamber. And so as you enter with him, there's a slight hallway that'll eat into a kind of low-lit lounge of some kind. some kind. With comfortable furniture, with cushions, there's some firelight. It looks to be a few torches set up in the chamber. There's a window across the way that looks out into the actual open of the Victory Pits main battle area. You can see servants wandering in similar brown silks and robes as to the barker, but they're carrying trays of food.

You see guests and expensive clothing that kind of dot the distant walls and areas of the chamber sitting atop these and couches and talking in low voices to each other, broken with the occasional laugh. The older gentleman kind of ushers you over and waves in the distance as a figure begins to approach. This is now you see as another human man in probably his early 60s or so, who has kind of graying hair that has slicked back and even further thinned than the gentleman who first met you on the way in, who has a very, very well-groomed goatee that comes to an accentuated kind of curve up underneath in the front. He's wearing a finally tailored dark blue festival suit.

Ooh. Styling. The bar houses. These are the ones who and the older guy goes, Ah, it's far too late in the day. We couldn't muster him. Very well. I am Yodaka Brighman,

guild head of the filigree house, and organizer of this harvest. tournament. Who are you? And have you the coin to enter? Well, of course, we are the illustrious Mighty Nine. Servants, it was a dash. The Mighty Nine. Where are you from? Mighty Nine? All parts. All over. Everywhere and nowhere. DM, could you say that crazy-ass name again?

Yaddaka. Yaddakman. Brigham. So you are from everywhere? Yes. You will be announced as from everywhere. That's good. That's good. We are from lots of places up here. of places up there. Makes us feel very worldly.

Yeah. That's all right, if that is what you require. All right, well, we've warriors from around the Merrill Valley come to compete today, many of which who have been on the front lines of the eastern wastes. Are you still eager to lose your coin and risk your life? I forget, refresh my memory about what the fee is for entering this contest.

20 gold pieces per fighter. Oh, no. Groups of five to eight are allowed to enter. There are three rounds to this tournament. We have to leave one of our members of winning. Each victory. Poor Stan. Each victory is 200 gold to be dispersed amongst your group.

And the winners that remain at the end split a 2,000 gold purse. Yeah, I believe that entry fee is along the lines of what I remember. Yeah, that seems standard. 20 gold will be fine. Are the rules are we just allowed to use whatever we come into the tournament? Whatever you bring in there is that your disposal? to utilize. So with your group that will make four

who have signed up for the tournament today. You'll be brought down to the waiting, holding area, and each group will be brought into the victory pit to face off with the chosen peril. Wait, how did you get four? Four groups. Four groups. Oh.

You are the fourth to have signed up. Only great, measly other groups. What are we fighting? Are we fighting the other groups? Are we fighting some of them? No, of course not. You're fighting a number of creatures that have been acquired and kept for this tournament. Beasts and things that have been either found wandering over the ranges of Jor Haas

or have terrorized the local countryside and have been brought to us by the righteous brand for this sort of tournament. Are you frightening beasts, big beasts, magical beasts? I mean, that's what we're looking for right now. There may very well be, young lads. Why are we doing this? Good question. Our friends, the stubborn stalk, said that this is the thing to do for people of our metal. Just booing it to fight dangerous monsters.

Can you tell us who the other two groups are besides ourselves and the stubborn stock? Well, do you wish to join? Of course, yeah. Then present your coin. What is your name? Ford. Fort. Fort.

Boregard. Bowergard. Caleb and Bowergard, can you front me 16 gold? Four more for you. But all better, his name is Caleb in Beauregard. I want that clear and on the record, it's Caleb and Beauregard. Yeah, in Beauregard is the family name. Cowery!

Fancy pants. 20 cold. Very well. Molly Mock. That's like a superhero name. Yasha. All right, thank you. We've managed to squeeze you in in the last moment.

So, the rules are as such. Each team will face off with one of these encounters we've developed for this tournament, continuing on if victorious, to face another, until the other teams fall, you fall, or the third round is completed. Should there be more than one victory team at the end, you will divide the purse amongst you. However, these will increase in difficulty the further you remain. You will not be allowed, but the time it takes for the other teams to battle

before you face once more. So, previous years have shown us no more than maybe 20 minutes. So, whatever you have, each round is what you go in with. Use your time wisely. So, all of this will be displayed in front of the Storoaster,

the appointees of the crown, and the elites of the trispires. Money and glory is here before you. So? What happens if somebody in like one of the other groups dies or something when fighting, you know, the cruders. We have clerics on hand and outside of extenuous circumstances.

We've only had one true fatality in the past 20 years of running this festival, so you should be all right. Good enough. For the other groups. For the other groups, yes. At this point, there's a bit of commotion at the front entrance way where you guys entered, where you see a figure rush in. Looks to be a young human man. He's sweating longer kind of blonde hair past his ears. He's wearing what looks to be a very, very bright gold and red outfit

and is carrying a satchel over his shoulders. He rushes in and talks to somebody and points over in the direction, heads up to where you group is. You doc, he goes, I'm terribly sorry. Page. What business have you from the crown? Looking over his attire, the page goes, I must speak with us to Roste immediately, under order from King Bertrand Wendell himself.

Yadacobos. Uh, right. Come with me. I apologize. You'll have to give us just a moment. And he turns around. As urgent matters, enjoy some feasting while you're here. And him and the page kind of walk maybe 20 feet from you to a corner where you can see there's a kind of a central couch there where a few figures are sitting and they rush up. Kitty. Mm-hmm. All right, so you roll a stealth check for your cat.

You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. Yeah, just sprays them. So as your cat begins to approach one of the servants goes, you can't be in here. Picks. Not everyone's going to kick a cat in the dust.

Picks up Frumkin and begins to bring Frumkin away while the page kind of begins gathering a breath. gathering a breath, and you now see what looks to be a very well-dressed halfling with kind of a curled mass of brown hair up top. It's kind of graying and white on the sides who kind of sits up to meet with rest of them. It looks to be another important figure. But Frumkin has been pulled away. Where did my cat go? Your cat is being held by a servant, being left. So the last I see of Frumpkin is where is where?

Being led back towards where you came, like being taking the cat outside. Okay, I count to six, and then I snap my fingers and pull him off of this plane. Okay. Service plug and fused. You guys doing anything? I guess I'm gonna do some jumping jacks to prepare for this. I'm also going to, I have a leather thong

or a string wrapped a couple of times or I'm going to ignore Laura Bailey, wrapped around my thigh and I will grip it in my hand and say a few arcane words and cast mage armor and out from the leather strap around my leg a light shimmer goes up over the entire body just for a split second has gone. All right? I would much prefer if it was actually a leather thong that you had to put on in order to

get the main genre. We know. We haven't seen you have that close off yet. There are the groups that are talking and eating. There's that the page currently engaging with folks in the figure. There's a couple of servants that are passing around trays of food. What are the rest of you doing? You've retrieved your fumpkin into your space. How do we prepare for this for? I have no idea what we're going to face.

Fighting monsters. We don't know that. That's what the guy said. We're fighting monsters. There's another clap and you see two other figures get pulled from the other side to join the conversation by the couch. Should we go find out what's going on over there? I don't think we can.

I could sneakie sneak over there and listen. Yeah, go for it. Can you give her some blessing type of situation? Oh yes, I already go. I will. cast silent image and make like, I'm gonna go off to the corner, make the image of like a three foot by three foot box

around me. You're on full solid snake here. I'm gonna just, tig-d-d-d-d-d-dick, closer and closer. Okay, go ahead and make yourself check with advantage. Amazing. Stealth. You get advantage because of her blessing.

Oh, wow. 19. Okay. So you kind of saunter up at a relatively close distance. Make a perception check if you're trying to listen. Can I see through the box? Oh, it's a listening perception. Okay.

Well, the box is an illusion. It's not four. Four. Four. Fuck. You catch bits and pieces. Okay. What you hear is the page hurriedly saying,

Which sky is now dark and broken veil? Over a thousand dead. The Ashgard garrison is taken. You hear this conversation a bit, kind of hushed to hushed and a little bit, Zarrosa kind of peeks in a bit. You only catch the next bit with goes, what? So King's response. Then you hear the page respond and say,

I'm formally declared war on Queen Dynasty and the Waste of Shorhas. There's some more muttering, and you miss that. You miss that. Oh no. You missed that. Secret warp zone to level eight. Yudaka pipes in and was like,

Sto rooster, to announce anything like that would set panic and change nothing. We are far from the fight. for now. Let them have a day to rejoice we're announced tomorrow. You miss the next thing. You miss the next thing. The last thing you hear is the Starrows to say, I'll send word to General Grinbreaker and begin preparing her legion to move east. Tomorrow will notify the public, but Page return word to Rexentron that Zadash prepares to join the front. Now go. When the page turns and leaves. It's still in box form.

I'm gonna go back up to them. Okay. Hey, hey guys, it's me. I'm in a box. We'll take it off. No, it's not a real box. I'll stick my hand through it. Oh.

I heard everything. What's going down? There's an attack on Ashgard, something. That's the garrison over by usual. Okay, thank you. And the king said we're gonna We're gonna declare war on Jorhas or something like that. Oh my gosh.

And then there's a thousand dead. What? And the skies were... On our side or their side? I don't know. Maybe ours. At the garrison, there was a thousand dead, so that's our side? Wait, no, we're not on sides.

We don't like the empire. I mean, who cares, right? Anyway, but they wanted to declare war and they're not going to until tomorrow. Good thing we did and join the army, huh? Yes. What makes you think they're not going to start conscripting people tomorrow? Oh no. Maybe if you competed and they saw you were awesome, they're going to tell you you have to join.

We should throw the fight. Maybe we should win the fight, then maybe think about getting out of town? Caleb. I agree with Mali. Caleb, is there anything about this letter? Do I notice anything? Which letter? I don't know. I'm paranoid right now. It's just the thing from the scroll. The scroll from the gun. There's nothing binding. It's literally a pamphor.

It's just a pamphor. I don't know. It didn't ignore what I just said. They needed a kinkgo. I'm trying to figure it out. There are at the little waiting area that we're in where they're passing. There are at the entrance where you came in and then each side. Can I make my way to one that's over by the entrance?

Okay. So you back up towards where you guys came in and there's the grounds guard there, arms crossed looking on. Man, I cannot wait to see this year's victory pick competition. I hear the beasts are harder than they were last year. I certainly hope so. It's gonna be a lot of fun to watch. Which one's your favorite so far? Oh, which one? The beast they selected this year.

Oh, I haven't seen them. They keep those under wraps. It's part of the surprise. Really? Yeah. Man, I heard you guys were more informed than that. Not us. That's above our pay grade. Really? Jeez. What do you gotta do to get duty like that? Well, you probably have to go to the King's Hall and sign up for the Crowns Guard. And kiss ass for a few years, and maybe then.

Where do the handlers of those beasts stay around here? I don't know. Once again, how's out of my jurisdiction? They keep a lot of things separate intentionally. Fair enough, you feel like dropping a coin on a team, remember it the mighty night. Right, appreciate that, friend. I'll walk away.

Okay. That was good. That was good. That was very good. It occurs to me. It occurs to me that starting tomorrow would be more important than ever. that we stick together.

All of us are just you and not. Chester. High five. At this point, the Barker who met you originally, goes, sorry to bother you, but they're gathering the various teams down into the holding area. I'll have to escort you. Please come with me.

As we walk off, I hold Caleb and walk behind a little bit. What did you hear at the Cobaltzil? Cobalt Soul. What? You were trying to get into the Cobalt Soul, right? I talked to some people from there, yeah. I'm just, you, you replicated robes from the Cobalt Soul, right? Actually, it was not the exact same color.

It was a similar color, but not the same color. Yeah, that was a nice little error on your part. You got real close. I can tell you were trying to get the dyes and the gradients. Is there something that you are after here? Did you hear anything? Nothing pertaining to what we have just learned. If that is what you are looking for, no.

I want to enter that library, although tomorrow anything goes, I don't know. I'll get you into the library if you want. How will you get me into the library? I like kind of pull back my belt a little bit, like show them the rest of the script and went on on the library. and went on on the back of my belt in the Colbilt Reserve. But I just instantly recognize that as the same as the people I spoke to? As far as the...

On the my trainer's belt. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. In the back. Do you have a tramp stamp back back? No, it's on my belt. It's on my belt. It's on the belt. It's on the belt.

Fancy embroidery on the edge of, on the inside of my belt. Right. You look at it and there is similar design similar design to some of the outfits and the... I mean, there's probably enough to go on here. She's also dressed in blue. She's basically going, right? Yeah, you pick up on it.

Yeah. If we're not all dead in 48 hours, maybe we can talk about that again. Yeah. Why, don't look at me like that. You can look at me, just don't look at me like that. You're not gonna look at me now, are you? Okay, it's fine. You know what? Just...

We'll talk about it tomorrow. As you guys are continued to be escorted down past, most everyone has filtered their seats. They're still stragglers, kind of finding their way in. And as the day's sun is getting further into the mid-afternoon, you guys are brought down to an area that is similar to that lounge area, but far less in its decor and comfort. This chamber has two windowed doors on the opposite side.

are just cut through windows that lead into the central arena. And you can smell kind of the dust on the opposite side. The interior you see is outfitted with about three dozen simple stools that are scattered about. A few tables with cornucopoeas of fruits and meats that are set and a few folks who see are feasting on them. There are two stationed healers of the Platinum House of Bahaman, of the Platinum Dragon.

That appear to be the ones that have been stationed there is to prevent folks from dying. and would appear to be the other combatants. You see in one corner there are five soldiers of the righteous brand, one of which is Gunther, who are in the process of just taking large handfuls of food and eating and kind of just getting themselves some energy in the pre-battles.

As soon as you enter, they kind of glance over it as you guys enter and kind of give like a bit of a nod of notification. Gunther looking straight to you and kind of grabs what looks to be inapolis and kind and just throws it at you. Ooh. Eat. You need it. Thank you.

Don't tell you what to do. I'm in a box. You're still. You just have a little box traveling with us. I drop out a little bit of spell components through the box. It looks like amongst them there is one that seems to be acting as or at least is in the process of like discussing tactics amongst the small troop, though you can't hear, just look at what he's saying.

It's been an elven man with short brown hair and these like sky blue piercing eyes. Um, it was in the process of giving orders to them, and then he walks off the side and pulls a blade out and begins practicing it. It's this very kind of elegant, uh, almost dance-like blade technique. Oh, please, not that music. That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter? Some lighter music here. Are you a fan of true, TV shows.

And what about Unsolved Mysteries? The show that jumped started all of our love of true crime. I'm Ellen Marsh. And I'm Joey Taranto. And we host I Think Not, a True Crime comedy podcast covering some of the wildest stories from your favorite true crime campy TV shows all the way to Unsolved Mysteries. Baby, you will laugh, you will cry. You'll think about true crime in a whole new way.

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On the opposite side of the room to them, all just kind of leaning into the wall, you see what appear to be five dwarves and two gnomes. that are all wearing black and gold variations to armor, robes. They're avoiding all social engagement and just kind of staring, kind of mad-dogging everyone else in the chamber. As soon as you enter, all their eyes

kind of shift in your direction, and they just watch you as you step into the chamber. In the center of them, you see a gray-haired, dwarven woman, weathered skin and kind of a surly grin as you approach, kind of leaving these yellow teeth from beneath who kind of just, gives a bit of a squinted stare at you as you pass by.

You see two battle axes resting at the side of her belt, kind of hanging off of her armor. Is she her own team? And then over by the doors, snacking and kind of looking out the window. Even the final four. Into the pit before you, you see a group of six individuals in scuffed armor of green and brown.

with weathered armor and skin that shows experience and travel. Markings and accessories gives you a sense of inland menagerie coast heritage, and there you see Darrow, who you had met earlier in the tournament, who's kind of leaning out the window. It turns around as you enter and goes, Ah, ha ha! So you did indeed decide to join. Not too bad.

I'm excited to see how well you do. Have you been in this tournament before? I have not, but I've been hearing about it. I'm excited to give it my all, as you say. Yeah. What are you going to do about the flying creatures? That's a good question. I imagine that's less of my worry and more of theirs, and he points out to the rest of the people in the stands, because I certainly hope they have ways to deal with that.

Otherwise, there's going to be a very unhappy day tomorrow for the people of the city. There will be a very unhappy day tomorrow. That is not cryptic, it's not. That is not cryptic at all. Well, the stubborn stock, they are my esteemed mercenary band. Friends, this is the Mighty Nine. We met earlier and the places with the games. And all of them kind of give like a nod and then

kind of reach every and start shaking hands. They seem, of all the people in here the most friendly, as soon as this happens, the crowd outside starts cheering loudly. cheering loudly. Ah! The sounds of chaos begin to build. D-da-da-da-da-da-da-d-da. Donald Guffet!

D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Or at least it's like more scro. At this point, the cheers swell and swell, and you hear feet kind of slamming throughout the entire event, causing dust to kind of come down off the ceiling above you as you begin to realize that you are below what appears to be some of the stands. At this point, a figure across the way emerges from another doorway from the right, and the crowd goes crazy, and you watch as this humanoid figure steps to the center. Now looking through the windows, you can see, this is an open circular sandpit where there are some what appear to be wall-like structures in places and pillars beyond those to kind of break up the interior. It almost has some small areas for cover and these pillars in kind of the far corners of each side. This figure who walks in, you see a tall, half-giant figure covered in tattoos and spiked armor. Approach his hands in the air as the crowd's yelling and screaming.

I don't have to like him. I want to be him. Steps out. Welcome all fair peoples of the great empire under our King Bertrand Drendel. His grace bless this harvest end and grant us a warm winter. The crowd goes crazy. I am your humble Jermaychal, previous champion. And while I have left the fight, I now live for the fights of others.

It is my pleasure to bring you this year's great tournament. The crowd swells again. Some of the groups behind start mounting up behind you and everyone's kind of crowding around the windows. We welcome us, guests of high esteem on this day. Give your applause to our keeper of freedom and order. Lawmaster or red the stone grasp. And he points across the way up in the stands. The cheers go bright and you see a figure stand up and you can see the gray-haired dwarf who you had met in the Kings Hall earlier, who's the lawmaster of Zadash.

Oh, right, right, right, right, right. It would come out to thank you for the job that you had done slaying, the phase spider in the sewers. She raises a hand and sits down, make a perception check. She waves her hand in gray hair. Natural one. Nope. 17. 18.

19. 9. 20. 20. 20. 6. You kind of glancing there, your eagle's sight of an angel's sight of an inquisitive monk of the Cobalt's soul, glance past.

And you can see where she's sitting, and there, about two people over sitting in the stand next to her, is a familiar face. Pretty sure that's Dolan. Are Dolan? Oh, oh, Bolin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were supposed to go, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to go out on the rice. Caleb is popping his hood up over his head and face. We can also bring to this tournament, the headmaster of the Zobber Spire, who repelled the Crick Assort on our great place of Arcade Learning, shaping the minds of our future mages, or mid-hars. And as the crowd cheers again, you see back a row and to the left a figure stand and raise a hand.

Once again, everybody, roll a perception check, please. Oh, that was so much. Not good. Three, five. Ten. Sixteen. Six. Nine.

Six. Six. Sixth was the highest? Yeah. Who was that? That was Jester. So Jester, you glance up and you see, best you can, a figure, a stocky, dark brown skin man with very short, curled black hair across the top of the head, the very square jaw in kind of long red and gray robes who kind of raises a hand and smiles and everyone cheers.

And sitting next to it, you see a figure that you see a figure that you see a figure that you you had seen before, you can make out, looks to be an older human man with longer gray hair, bald on top. This was the mage that you saw floating in the sky during the attack. Is he in white? Is that the color of Rochele? Yes. Like white and gold. Whoa. Um. And none of this would be possible, if not for the love of you.

And celebration, but my esteemed starostar, wild fed on. And there at the very front on that same area, you see the same halfling who was talking earlier to the page step up on what looks to be a small platform to give him a little more height and prestige amongst this point. You see the male halfling with the curly hair and the graying sides, raise his hands and get like a soft bow and the crowd just explodes and cheers. You said it was a stroke right? Yes, he says that. Now we begin to bring in our fight.

for this and our first competing team of this victory piturnment. The last line all away from Blade Garden. The doors, bov-phe, open. And all the gentlemen and ladies in the Righteous Brand armor kind of push past you with Gunther and that Elfin gentleman as they step out into the light. Now you can see the cloudy sky has broken up a bit and there is a bit the sunlight coming down into this pit. They step out into the center as the MC begins to step away and goes, may the first fight be a memorable one. And he steps back and enters a distant door that closes behind him. They all kind of spread out and prepare. And across the way a door opens. And you see something kind of shift out in chains

that are then pulled off of the body and the doors closed behind. There you see what looks to be a 12-foot tall-looking frog, humanoid-like creature with a giant belly that begins to just lumber forward towards them. You watch, as they all immediately assault this entity, jumping in the air off, like vaulting off sides of the walls, assaulting it. Like it smack in the face, grabs another, and throws it into the ground. Another one rushes up as it grabs and slams it onto the floor and puts its weight on top of it, one foot, kind of pushing it to Gunther rushes up with a blade and carves into a large section of its face.

The crowd goes crazy as it pulls back. It reaches and shoves Gunther off with the back fist. You watch as the leader, the elven leader, rushes for him, does a few quick swipes with his blade. The large toad creature grabs it and attempts to swallow him and manage to do so. Completely ingests the leader. The rest begin to assault. Make an archa-check. Um, 18. 18.

You don't recognize the creature, but there's something about this entity. No, nine. No. All right. So this fight goes on for another minute or so as you watch them, like trade blows back and forth. Nobody falls, and eventually the general carves his way from the stomach of the beast with a giant's thumb of his blade. You watch as the blood begins to pour from it as he leaps out, coated in what looks to be saliva and the creature's own crimson. spins around and as the large toad beast kind of pulls back, they all together with one unified strike

surround and attack it, at which point the beast kind of lumbers forward and falls to the ground unconscious with a rousing cheer from the audience. The previous doors open as the soldiers raise the weapons high and give a respectful bow. They begin to walk back towards the holding area as they drag the unconscious body of this creature back to where it came. Do we all fight the same type of creature? Oh my God. Probably not. The N.C. shouts again from the side.

And with that, the Banderhub has fallen. Banderhawk. And next, a last minute addition to today's tournament. We bring forth, traveled from everywhere. The mighty nine. The doors open again, and you guys are given a straight path into the the center of this field. It's okay.

I bumped it on the way over. Do you, do you, do, do, do, too. Wow. Did you print that on a laser printer? No, this is from Matt by Mars. Oh my god, it's so cool. Or the, uh. So, you guys can place yourselves where you'd like.

Where's the doors to the, oh, they're over there. Got it. Any particular placement you'd like? You guys have a moment to set yourself up here. Would we, would I have been able to cast a spell as we were push for? into all this mess as well. Blur, all right. You have a blur spell on right now. I'm going to be in the back in front of the swords. Behind this one. Where's the opening? Yeah, where did the where did the monster come out of?

You guys entered from this side over here and you saw the monster enter from this space. Oh okay okay okay. I take that back. I take that back. I'm not going to gas. Okay, you're not going to sorry. Apologies. All righty. Can you help me? What do you want to be up? Right there? Can I do that on the other? one opposite her. Yeah. Sure. I'll back up in the mine. As close to the center as is possible. And I will be behind the pillar over there. Over here? No. This one over. On this side. Yes. Thank you. All righty. That I think is the door where it opens. No, no. No. It's right there. But it could be anywhere to be fair.

Oh, right. There's multiple doors. As the MC disappears and vanishes into the back. And you guys all take a quiet moment looking around you in silence as the audience gets quiet. Still, you look around and can see hundreds and hundreds of faces all staring, strangely formless when it's a cloud like this in all directions. Little beams of light peeking through the clouds hitting the sand and dirt on the ground before you. And that quiet, you hear, you glance around briefly and see not one, but two doors seem to have opened. Oh, good. But only one of them has a creature that emerges. It seems like they're playing mind games with you, so you don't know where it's coming.

Or the other one's invisible. You watch as the door to this side suddenly swings open and a beast begins to lumber out, chains kind of detaching from these manacles on two of its tethered, what looks like, large tentacle-like arms, this kind of grayish-brown mass, probably close to 15 feet in height, with a giant mouth filled with teeth and a large tongue that kind of lulls off the side. These three tendrils reach off of it as these large heavy feet kind of pull it forward. Smell waffes around it. It's just feces and rocks. Ew!

I need all of you to roll initiative as this creature emerges right there. It's a big eating pool buyer. Dang it. Brody to the max! Yeah, can I get you with a smooth was just 500? Oh, that's good. Okay, alright. So, 25 to 20.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. Oh, that was, that moved it, that moved it. It was 19 plus one, 20, 24. Whoa. 24, all right, 23. Bow, Molly. Anybody else? Okay, 20 to 15.

18. 18 for Caleb. Oh, 16 here. All right. Ten to ten. Ten to five. Oh boy. Six. Six. Oh, boy.

Oh, no. All right. Brace. All right. I believe that's everyone. Yep. All right, top of the round as this being kind of its giant tongue just kind of slabbing around its open maw.

Bo, you're up. Okay. I can clear the distance, right? 40 feet? 5, 10, 15, 20, 20, yeah, usually. Okay, go through the creature. That's a good idea. That's what she does. I fight with my fists, Sam. It's scary!

It's a fury. Okay. It's a fury Mrs. Haired Anderson. Before I run off, I go, Does anyone know if this is like a time trial or something? I run off towards it. Are you trying straight towards it? Are you trying to come from a specific angle?

No, I mean straight towards it. All right, there you go. Get it back. And then instead of my staff, I'm drawing my two wooden swords that I won with knots. Yes. Oh, no. And I'm going to beat face with my wooden swords

with my two attacks. Challenge. Okay. Oh no. Are you, are you... This is gonna be great. So, here's my question. Is this just flavor to your unarmed strikes, or are you actually trying to damage it with the wooden swords?

I was thinking more like flavor to my unarmed strikes, but I'm a monk. Yeah, alright, okay. So it looks like you're fighting with the swords, but you're really punching with them. I'm punching. It's more for the show of it. Yeah. Okay, all right, I'll go with that. She's fighting with wooden swords.

Release batons. They're not that strong. Okay. I like balsam wood. All right, go ahead. Two attacks? First one's a four, wait, first one's a 14, second one's a seven, plus six, so, sorry, 20 for the first one, and 13 for the second, yeah. First one hits, second, and misses.

Okay. Nice. Ooh, that is 12 damage. 12 points of damage. As you whack hit it and you feel the actual, what of the sort kind of cracked a little bit, but your fist, does slam and hit the beast in the side. It's giant kind of blubbery, nasty body, almost slippery and sticky on impact and kind of shifts from the blow. Is that your turn? And then I'm going to spit a key point and do one more. Go for it. Flurry of blows. That's not a good at all. Ten? It's all ten? Yep. That misses. The third blow goes wide, no impact. All right, that ends your turn. Molly, you're up. I'm going to start with, I'm going to use vicious mockery and just, you know.

You've got no R. This is awful. It's a psychic attack. I start laughing. All right. And that's a... It says wisdom, but is it charisma, but it's a crimson vase. The DC's 10. Okay.

That's a natural 20 on its safe. Oh. Sorry. That's okay. So I'm going to also use my bonus action to live. light my other sword. All right. So you have both blades now going?

I have both blades going now. All right. So I'm knocking that down. Which right? With the, not the ice. Right of the dawn? Right of the dawn? Okay.

Got it. And then... And I'm going to run... Let's see, I've got 30 feet. So I'm going to run for cover behind. I'm going to cross and run for cover behind that. There? Yeah.

All right. That ends your turn, Molly. creature's turn. As it lumber's forward. It's going to poop on you. Or breathe some awful breath of death. It's going to go out. Oh no. It's going to step up right there. As it lumberes around kind of as it passes by, it's going to go ahead and swing one of its large kind of tentacle arm, which you see have these kind of long curved tooth-like protrusions at the end, almost like a slapping squid tentacle. As it swings towards you, Bo with the first one.

That's gonna, a natural one. Nope, that misses. Nice. You manage to duck it. However, is it swings. Oh, okay, that is a 17 to hit. What's your armor class? 17. It just hits. As the tentacle misses to strike you, it does manage to grab you from behind and pull you in towards its mouth. As it opens and chomps down on you. Oh, gross. Yeah, you're pulled into his poopy mouth. Ew. It's like Charlie. That is 15 points of piercing.

damage, and I need you to rule a Constitution saving throw as the horribly... What was the how much damage did he do? Fifteen. Fifteen points of piercing damage. And make a Constitution saving throw, please. Don't fuck me. Gill! Ooh, that was almost a natural twit! This always happens with kill. Six? Six? No. All right. No. No. So, as the teeth sink into your body and you pull away, you have

feel this like mild infection already begin to set inside you and you're poisoned. Oh no, you're poisoned. He gives you heartburn, you guys. It's real bad. All righty, the other tentacle is going to swing over towards you, Jester, as I see to see you around the corner. That, however, is a really poor role. That's going to be an eight that misses you. So you dump it, hits the stone, kind of causing this dust to spray off of it from the impact. That's going to end its turn. Caleb, you're up. Yeah, I pull out a handful of iron powder and I and I throw it into the air so it's a big cloud,

and my two hands go fh, and Yasha grows to twice her normal size. What? Oh shit. All righty. So the purposes of that we'll put Yasha on this big old dice there. What did I do twice the damn . Yes, it does. Then I will use my movement to get over to the corner near a Ford as far.

If I could get around it, I would, but I'm sure I don't have enough movement. Six is about as opposed as you can get there. So you're at advantage because of your size and all of your attacks have an additional 1d4. Whoa! Oh! Question? She's huge. I think you got one.

She's 14 feet tall. Yeah, she is... You're six, 12 feet tall. Six feet tall? I'm like 511. 12-ish feet tall. Doubles it. Almost six.

And your weight is eight times it's no your weight. So you have your advantage on strength, checks and saving throws. Okay. your rage does. But your weapons do an additional 1d4 points of damage when you hit, which is good. I remember that. All righty. I've had this dream.

So, Kila, that ends your turn. Question. Quirk retroactive one. Can I use my opportunity attack, my reaction attack when that thing attacked Jester do my sentinel thing? You can, yeah. Can I do that? Go for it. So as it strikes and misses Jester, you get one swing, but it's with the disadvantage in the attack because you're poisoned.

Nope. Swing wide. Unfortunately, you're kind of hazy in your view, and you feel the poison kind of starting to seep into your veins, the diseased bite of the creature starting to infect your torso. All right, that ends Caleb's turn, not you're up. I will shoot my thing at the... You other three are up after that, at the same time. Uh, 21 to hit. That hits, going to roll damage.

Is Yoshi? Yeah. They're adjacent, so you get sneak attack. Whoa, that's good. Oh, damn. Okay, 11, total, 13, 14, 15, 19. 19 points of damage. And oh wait, you know what? If I'm gonna be honest, that thing is beyond 30 feet, so I would have moved in closer so I don't have to fire a disadvantage.

Okay, so I'll put you about there to do that. And then do I have any movement left? Five feet. All right, well then I'll use all my movement to go, I mean I'll dash and I'll go back around. This is towards me behind this corner and hide. Yeah, I just duck back there. That's it.

And take a swing. All right. And take a swing. It's a free action. All right. Jester, Yasha, and Ford. You guys are going at the same time, so you decide who's going to take the action first. We can just go in that order.

All right. So Jester, Yasha, then Ford. Sure. Okay. Well, he's right there. So I'm going to use Sacred Flame on him. sacred flame on him. All righty. Oh, actually I'm really close and he's already been hurt. I'm going to toll the dead on him. Mm-hmm. All right. And that's what saving throw is that? That is a

wisdom saving throw. Written saving throw. Roll the four, three plus one. Yeah, I get to hit him. You get to roll the damage. Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage. As the bell, you watch the creature kind of Kind of shimmies in place. Did he already use his reaction at all? You don't think so? What do you want to do? Oh no. Just run away.

What can happen? Run away! No, fuck it, I'm gonna stay right there. Okay, just there stays. Yasha, what are you doing? Okay, so if I move. I'm sorry you have to talk like this now. So if I move.

Like right here, am I 10 feet of the creature, but they're not 10 feet of me, right? You don't get reach with the enlarge, so you still have to get one more to hit with the melee web. Okay, so I'll get one more. But am I still, I'm not 10 feet away from Bo and Jester, right? You're 10 feet away from Bo currently. Can I go?

You can move. One over to the right. There? But then I'm 10 feet away from Jester. Yeah. Who do you choose? Okay, you know what? I won't do that right now.

All right. So I would like to rage. Yes! Rage kicks in. And I'm going to go ahead and use my magician's judge sword and start swinging. All righty. So you have any much attacks or not? Say again?

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. All right. Fourteen just hits. Good advantage, remember. So you might see you. Not an attacks.

Oh, okay. Only only checks. reckless. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Sorry. Okay, so one. Add your point E4 for being gigantic. Three.

Okay. So, plus seven. Did you add a D4? Okay, so eight. Okay, so eight. 20. 20 points of damage with a strike. As large, Yasha.

You add another shit to that? I don't know my shit. This is going to be a thing. This is gonna be a thing. I have to make a large yasha figure now. Swing the giant blade with the two hands. As the blade carves down and actually beds itself about four or five inches into the body of the creature. It pulls back instinctually as it does, it drags the blade through its body and blood kind of sprays out. The blood itself is like a thick brown color almost, and the smell gets even worse as it begins to spray its icker around the air.

Well done. Is that your turn? Yep, I'm gonna stay right there. All right, Ford, your turn. Can I turn towards the beast and I'll cast Eldrit's Blast at it? Go for it. So you step out from behind cover. That is a 23 to hit. That hits. Go to roll damage. That is a 10 plus 4, 14 points of damage.

Nice! And can I roll back behind cover? You can. So you go ahead and dart back on the edge. Even a couple more. All righty. Out of you. There we go. There you go. That ends your turn.

Top of the round, Bo, you're up. Okay, I'm gonna fight both of my swords. Pop-pop, pop, coming down on his head. Don't fuck me and gill. That's all right. 18. Dish, I'm all the attacks. Disadvantage because I'm poisoned. 18. 18 hits. Okay. Is that waiting for a lot? Concentration. That's not a thing. That's weird. Nine damage. Nine points of damage as you strike it. This time the wooden sword does snap.

It breaks on impact. But you still have the hilt. I just turned to the audience and I go, A resounding cheer. And I go, yosh, look. And I do patient defense for my other key point. Okay, so you go in defense stance. Yeah. Good.

Alrighty. That ends your turn. Molly, you're up. All right, how many feet away am I from this thing? You are. About 40, 45 feet from it. Okay. I'm going to start dashing to that next. Over here?

Yeah, that direction. 15, 20, 25.30, that's your movement. Okay, and I'm going to do one more attempt at a vicious mockery. Vicious mockery. That's a 14. So that's he still saves. He still saves. Yeah, it's all right.

All right, that's what I got. All righty, now it's the creature's turn. It's going to go ahead. Now with you right there in front of it, it's going to I'm going to go ahead attempt to bite you, Yasha, with its giant mouth. No! No, don't get some mouth, is it big enough? That is 16. What's your arm of class?

14. Okay, it hits you. Attack with my reaction. Oh, sentinel. Sentinel. Sentinel. A natural 20. Eight. 14.

14. 14 does hit. Oh! You take 15 points of Pierce. damage and I need you to make a Constitution saving time. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, I'm not gonna use that one. Come here. Go away.

Does the enlarge give her... Constitution? Advantage on saving throws? Just strength. Eight. Eight. Eight. Even in your enlarged state, the disease gathering of bacteria and terrible elements.

Fifteen points. Fifteen points. Fifteen points. The poison courses through your body. body and Yasha you are considered poisoned. Oh, wow. Oh, this sucks. But it takes seven points of damage from my on-arm strike.

It does. And it's going to go ahead and take its tentacles and swing one towards you, Jester. Oh, no, Jesse. Oh, no. That is 23 to hit. That hits me. All righty. Oh, no.

So as the tentacle swings out towards you, clawing past you with its raking teeth, like, oh shit. That's 11 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh. Plus eight points of piercing damage as it carves into you. And? I'm going to use hellish rebuke on him. Go for it. Yeah, get it.

Yeah, you're arms, you stupid. You were also grappled. As the tentacle wraps around you and begins to like squeeze and hold you in place, the teeth and the thorns that are coming out of its side of its tentacle jamming into your body. Is it a Constitution save for Halis-Shabuk? Halshribuq is a second level.

I really wish it gave more information about what. Well, it says save, it should. But it will certainly be fixed because D&DBion is a responsive company. Yeah, and we love them. It doesn't say anywhere with Hellish Rubeuk on the- Pliq. There you go. There it is.

That is going to be a 9. Ah, that means I get 3D-10. 3D-10 damage to it. Yes. Rock that shit. Good night, Irene. Let's go. Nine.

Twelve. Twelve points of damage. Nice. Oh, it's hell. So watch as there's a burst of icy shards and blades that just explode out of Jester into the tentacle and alongside of its body as it kind of pulls back in place, swinging its other tentacle out behind it towards bow. How much damage did you say I just took, though, because I was busy? Nineteen points of that. There you go.

11 plus 8. Yikes. That is going to, with disadvantage, because you have pitch most that's going to be a... Oh boy. All right, even with the disadvantage, that is an 18. Fuck! Yeah. So you suffer five points of bludgeoning damage.

Okay. Plus three points of piercing, so eight total. Six and you are also grappled. To the side tentacles now. tentacles now. All the male players are like 40 feet back and all the women are right in there. All the things. So now you are poison and grappled. So there are the two side tentacles that are currently got and there's the one large tentacle on top you can see which has, now that you have a closer look, has like three vertical eyes in it that are kind of glancing around and looking at the space.

And the two have just wrapped around two of your allies as Yasha is dealing with the poison racking through her veins. That's going to go ahead and its turn. Caleb, you're up. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm very very aware of how many people are in this arena, especially high-powered ones, as I wrap one hand around my forearm and I cast scorching ray even though I'd be lachious and off they go. As a note, because it attacked bow, you could use your reaction to attack it back with your sentinel feet. Oh, you have sentinel also. Yeah.

They both do. Oh, that's right. You get between. Don't forget you having that. Yeah. Do it. If you want to take it. Yes, yes, yes.

If you feel like attacking it. You want to attack it. on the attack, unfortunately. Oh, okay. 26, 10, 16. Okay, the first and the last one. Yeah. 20.

Is it, is the... Is the... Oh, it is? Yeah. Oh, I know. 13. 13 just misses. You swing, and as you're about to hit with the blade, the poison pulses through your veins and you go wide as the creature just managed to be out of the range.

The finish, how much image is that? 15 points of fired damage. It's a fire damage. Both rays slam into it, and the flames burst up, and you hear it. You're trying to pull back from the impact, but it's currently kind of by the wall, and it's holding on to your friends, and it's holding its ground. And I'll take a step five feet that way, and as I do so, I look over for it and just... It's the end of my turn. That's a big nope. All righty.

Then as Caleb's go, Chester. Oh, that's me! Yes, you are currently grappled, and while you are grappled, you are restrained until you break free. I think it's my turn. I'm sorry, knots after Caleb, my bad. I'm gonna stick my head around and fire my little crossy bowie. Ooh, not good. Not good at all, 10.

10 goes wide. As it's reeling back from the blow of the flame jets from your buddy Caleb, unfortunately, as you fire, it moves just out of the way and the bolt goes wide. And fire again. All right. Oh, God. Do we count that?

Yeah, I think so. When you add to it. Matt, do I count that enough? It landed in my box, but it landed up. If it landed, then it's fine. 18 to hit. 18 does hit. So go ahead and sneak attack.

Oh, I get sneak attack. It's still adjacent to a friend of yours. Next to it, great. 11. 15. Nice, all right. Strikes on the inside of the mouth. I'll take period of the small.

Yeah. So 19. 19 points of damage total. Got it. It looks like it's hurting. Okay. But it's also in control the battlefield on that side there. So that ends your turn.

Just to back behind the wall. Oh, God. I mean, does it look like it's hurting at all? It looks like it's hurt. I'm gonna, while I'm just in its grasp, can I just like touch the tentacle and cast all the dead again? If you'd like to. If you think that would help.

I want to do that. Okay, so the savings throw? Do it. Oh, it's cocked. No. That is a five plus one. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Get it.

Get it, get it, get it. Get it, get it. Two. That's an important. Hey, it all helps. It all goes the same place. But you were still restrained and held in place there. Oh.

Yasha's out next. Anything else you want to do? I probably should have tried to unrestrain myself. You're great. You're a great player. No, it's an action. No, it's an action. Yeah, it's an action.

Well, I already did it. I already told you that. Too late. And your turn? I guess so. Yasha, you're up. No, I want to do get it because we progress. Okay, I'm gonna attack again.

All righty. Okay. I'm trying to save my spells. No. There's no short rest between here and... There could be. Wait, do I have... We think we have more minutes, man.

You said about 20 minutes between rounds and short rest is an hour, so... Do I have advantage on attack or no? There's 20 minutes. If you go reckless, you can. Yes, that's right, that's right. I haven't used reckless yet. You've not used reckless. They give you advantage on your attack.

That gives me advantage, but that gives them advantage. Okay. Correct, but now it's the straight roll. There's no disadvantage anymore. Sorry, guys, sorry. Natural 20. Oh, yeah. Oh, not shallot with that shit.

Oh, okay. That'll do it. So that doubles your weapon and the D4. So you roll those together. So, okay, so that's. Oh, brutal. Jeez, okay. So whatever that is.

Well, yeah, it's your 2d6 for your weapon, D6 for your divine ability, and then your dice, and then double that. And you're D4. Yeah. So roll those, double that, and then add your plus seven. I see. Okay.

Double it. 17 times two is 34. 34. Whoa. That's a lot. How do you want to do that? Remember, you're twice as big. Yeah.

It's poorly a holding jester and bow, it looks like it's about to slam them together. It's pulling them back and their feet are dragging off the ground and causing grooves and the sand and it's like, I just want to take the blade, turn it down and straighten it in the middle of the right. Which you can do because even at your full height, you're about as tall as it is. So in a downward angle, you just thrust forward and jam it right in the center of kind of its membrane above its mouth. As you push down, you watch your blade actually protrude out the roof of its mouth, through its mouth, through the tongue, and into the rest of its body. As you push, it kind of gives this horrible squealing, almost like guttural swine-like sound.

And as you push and push and push, it falls onto its back, and you keep pushing, and you keep pushing it, and the tentacles go limp and release both Jester and bow. And at that point, you pull the blade free, and it is just not moving on the ground, bleeding out, and do the same. That was amazing. That was fucking awesome. I'm going to cast thomatergy and start whispers throughout the crowd going, yasha, yasha, yasha, yasha, yasha. So hopefully the crowd picks it up. I run back into the hidden area immediately and I don't stay out there. Okay, good to know. All right, so in large lasts for how long?

It's a minute so probably the time it takes her to cast that spell and you to run into that hole. Yasha, that should probably end right about. Your size is reduced to a more diminutive stance. As you guys back into the inside, the poison, however, is still holding. Oh no. I've got... Can we use some medicine? Yes, I've got one kit left.

I've got a heat left, so I'm going to use my medicinal herbs on you, Bo, to get rid of the poison. Fuck yeah. Where are you at, Chester, hip point-wise? I'm very low, hit-point-wise. I'm at 12 out of 31. Did you need to hold it in with... You want a health potion? Do you want a health potion?

Oh, well, I can use my spells to hear. heal us right now. I think you should say, Owen? I mean, the only thing I have that can get rid of poisoning is lesser restoration, which I can cast on Yasha right now, so I can get rid of the poison on you. Wait, but the poison will go away eventually, right? Won't you? Not before the next fight, I don't think. You don't know. Yeah, it's probably I should do that. In your herbalism kit, you can make antitoxin if you're in a space.

No, it's not an herbalism kit. It's medicinal herbs, which you specifically told me removes poison on action. Yes. You have to, it's a medicine check to apply it properly, but you can do that. Oh, okay. Make that check. Oh, no. What's your medicine check?

I'm proficient. Oh, that's good, that's good. A lot. Yeah, it's like a 23. Yeah, so as you guys kind of back into the corner, you manage to go ahead and apply the medicinal herbs which are used now. Yeah. But the poison does manage to fade from your body bones, so you're no longer poison. And you're using lesser restoration on Yasha, you said?

Yeah. Up to you. Yeah, I'll do it. Okay, so the poison is removed. It's probably a good thing, so it lasts. Thank you. Last until here. Oh wow.

What are you, where are you? Technically it's a disease. Like a house is poison. But because the nature of the herbs that you've utilized in this space, it kind of fits in a similar realm because it's a bacterial infection that kicks in. Also because you got to it quickly enough and you rolled so high, you were able to do that.

Because you got stabbed with poop teeth. Kind of yeah. Yeah. Kind of yeah. What are you at right now? I'm at 12 hit points. You need to heal. I give her a pooping of healing.

You're right. You need healing too. It's fine. You need it. Are you sure? I mean, I won't like deny it, but I also won't request it, so. Yeah, just fucking take it. Okay.

And it's what? How many D4? 2D4. 2D4 plus 2 for a million potion. As you guys are in the process of doing this, the next group, you hear the voice shouting out, not even realizing the other group that walks outside. The mountain makers from Grim Goliere.

The mountain makers. The dwarf and gnome troop makes their way out into the field. As the crowd cheers, the MC vanishes, and you see an opposing side open once again, and immediately bursting through, you see what looks to be a large kind of nine-foot troll, troll with elongated arms and legs, are rushing into the fray,

kind of screaming this high-pitched yelp. But as it runs, you can see its skin, as opposed to the deep forest green that you've read about or seen in trolls in your experiences. This is like a dull, almost teal blue color. And you watch as the dwarves all of a sudden rush in, the gnomes begin casting spells,

and this assault goes back and forth. You see with each strike, this kind of this, this kind of cold mist off the claws of the troll with each blow. You watch as the gnomes begin to just apply fire upon fire, and you watch as the entity burns, their intelligent knowledge of the creature, causing it to prevent it from regenerating.

Fairly rapidly, they make short work of it. They were prepared, and it was not as intense a battle as you're expecting. So, with that. Did it look like they prepared anything with fire before the creature came out? To your memory, you didn't know that. You didn't notice anything.

But with the final of the battle, the cheers go wild, the crowd goes crazy, and eventually the mass mountain makers make their way back into the field. Anything else you guys needed to prepare it this time? They get real good teamwork. Maybe we should come up with special moves, you know? Like what? Like heel.

Like don't run up so close, or at least wait a little bit first to gauge the beast. What? Don't run into the, you're gonna die. Out from the Menagerie Coast! The Stubon stuck! Oh, that's not us. And behind you as the door is open, they do realize this. They move past you.

They're going to run towards you if you don't. Dero goes, hey, wish us luck, friends. And enters into the sunlight. Luck. The door's closed. Looking out past the way, another door opens off to the side, and you watch as a 15-foot-long crocodile becomes barreling into the center. Its jaws opening and snapping as it comes rushing, and it climbs over the wall that the guys

are getting behind to defend, and immediately snaps down on one of the soldiers who gets hit in the side and screams out in pain. They all begin to just rush in an assault, jumping off the wall and getting onto its back. You watch his Darrow climbs up onto it and is taking what looks to be a short sword that one of his friends had dropped and jams into the top of the head as he pulls out his battle axe. Ming's just hack away and hack away. He seems to be laughing. The rest of his, he manages another friend prized the mouth off of the one soldier that had been snapped on and he kind of limps away as it spins around its tail, slapping one of its friends,

sending him flying back 10 feet as his weapon goes sitting into the sky and hits the dirt off the way. to try and retrieve it. The battle goes back and forth for a while. One of their friends goes down. And one of his allies grabs and pulls him away from the battle zone as he begins to kind of try and wake him up. At this point you watch as Darrow makes a couple motions to his friends and they all cycle in and assault at one time, cutting at the throat of the large crocodile as Darrow takes his axe and carves out one of its eyes. As it pulls back screaming in pain, they both come underneath and cut through the throat at the same time, causing it to bleed out, and with that the crocodile collapses, not moving into the field. You see that? He had like a sign, and then like things happened.

They slap awake their ally, and they begin to drag themselves back into the chamber as the crowd's cheering. They're a little wounded and a little winded, but as they come in, that wasn't too bad. You're on deck, I suppose, and they bring their friend over to the side. They used to cover really well. We should try and hide ourselves better. I can make a box. Don't do that. I can actually make a 15-foot large box. We could all fit in it.

No, not have a great idea, actually, though. We should keep our distance. Keep our distance. We don't. We don't. Did we see which door the last two monsters came out of? Well, the one that you came out here, the crocodile came out here. That was the last one?

You don't know how fast these things would be. The T-O-T-T-T-O thing. What was the... Oh, the ice troll, sorry. The ice straw came from this side there. Make them chase you? They seem to be changing and- You people that need to be up close,

just wait till it gets to you, but make them chase you for a bit. Use the cover. Let's put some damage on it before. I mean, I could do that. I can be destruction, okay. The last line! And you see as the armored soldiers go back out there

into the field, they get to the center, they form kind of a phalanx back to back in the center as they look around in any direction. direction. And you hear, and two gates open. And from each gate, two large, hucking figures just come charging out. You see these sprinting dark humanoid figures with giant horns out of the front of their head. Two minotars come charging into the center. Immediately, they both break into two groups and try and head them off, shields up. One of them gets thrown, taking the impact of the blow, knocked back onto his ass, three feet back. The other one gets gored immediately.

The horn's piercing his armor and throwing him into the air. As this happens, you notice now they're both wielding large axes, and they start just cleaving into the opponents. They're giving up a good fight, and it goes back in the fourth for a bit, but at one point you watch one drop and another drop. A third one gets grabbed and picked up and then broken over the knee of one of the minotars, at which point you see the general, the elven general, begins to look around nervously

and start waving his hand to call it off, just as one of them gores him from behind, And he gets thrown 10 feet, landing onto the ground, rolling unconscious, his blade clattering in the dirt. And there you see, you see Gunther in the center with two war hammers in his hands, blood down his face, squirt. Come on!

And they both come charging in at him from two different sides. At the last minute, he darts backward, causing them to collide into each other. As they're stunned, he rushes up and jams his hammer into the head of one of them. Once, twice, one of the Minotars goes down. And right as he pulls back to the second Minotaur,

Gets him from behind you. You watch the horn kind of pierce where his liver is, and he falls unconscious on the ground. They fall. The final Minotaur kind of roars up into the air, and the whole crowd goes, ho! Shit!

You watch as two groups come out with chains and manacles and manage to grapple and throw them down, the lasting Minotaur passes out in the chains, and they drag him back off the field. The two clerics rush out into the field and prevent death to those who are in the process of slipping. And with that, the last line is pulled back, the first fallen out here in the field.

Wow! That is intense. Like, would we be able to have fought those two minors? I don't know. No, what's that? We're first falling in the tournament. Focus on one target at a time. Now, let us greet back to the field.

How do you have a point? Drink some potions. The mighty night! Nine! I'm past secure wheels right this. The doors open once more. I'm gonna drink a push it out. I'm gonna drink a potion of healing.

Alrighty. Where do you guys wish to be placed? Oh, God. Is it possible to climb up on one of those things, on one of the walls? If you'd like to try. I want to try to climb up on top of a wall. Make an athletics check real fast? Am I able to drink a potion of healing?

That's really good. This one, sure. Why not? This one here? that far corner. To this one here. It's at 22. Yeah, you're fine.

I'll go here. Not? Dead center. I'm going to cast a mage hand. Okay. We got sure? I'm gonna, um... I'm gonna stand by Caleb, actually.

That's ten points of feeling. Yeah. Both. Ten points. Yes, I love you, Jester. I love you. All righty. As you guys all take your place.

One down in a time. Ten, yes. Two gates immediately open again. You hear two sources of this loud deep. Leaping through both sides you see two massive white-furred wolves come leaping through into a full sprint. I invoke duplicity in the middle of the next to nod. From this side and this side here. Oh shit. Oh my. So you invoke duplicity? Yeah, next to knock. Next to knot. Oh, are we getting... All righty.

I need you all the rule initiative. Come on. Come on. Come on. Natural 20. Natural one. Oh, Caleb. No.

My dice fell. Oh, Jesus. $100. Sorry, Mike. All righty. So that brings us two. All righty. So, for this new round, 25 to 20.

Twenty-four. Twenty-two. All right, so we have Beau. Jester and Molly. You got it. 20 to 15. 15. Oh, 15.

Oh, I was like, I was like to Leo. Oh, wait, I wrote mine. All right, then maybe Yasha. 15 to 10. Oh, no, no, that's on me either. 10 to 5. Nine. Six.

Six again, four? Yeah. All right. Two for Caleb. Two for Caleb. Caleb at the bottom. But I roll the natural one, so. All right, if I can.

So, top of the round as the wolves begin to emerge, Beau, you're up first. Okay, I'm going to run. Don't say at them. Don't say at them. 5, 10, 15, 28, 25, 30, 35, 40, I guess. Already.

Look at the bullet on there already. And I'm gonna. Yeah, it's cool. I'm gonna look at this one, and I'm gonna go, Hey, hey, go fetch! And I'm going to throw my other wooden sword at that one, and then I'm going to do patient defense. Okay.

Right in the middle of them. Make an animal handling check. Interesting. Animal handling. Why not? Come on. Just because I want to see what'll happen. I'm going to use this lucky die that a critter gave me.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. 20. Okay, you throw it. Pts. That's your action. Come on, boy. Wait, what do you mean that's my action? Yeah, to get his attention and try and throw it.

I can't take a key point to do patient defense? Patient defense is a bonus, you're fine. Okay, so patient defense. Yeah, and that's it. All right, then ends up. Jester, you're up. I'm going to cast sacred flame at the one behind me. Alrighty.

That's a deck save. That is a failure, that is an eight. Yes! Go unroll damage that one. Faya! Five points of damage to him. Five points of damage, nice. Alrighty.

Or her. I'm staying. As the divine plane burns up around it, it's still just running. And I'm going to make my invoked duplicity jester run right in the middle of the two walls, like pass forward. Right there? Yeah, and she's going to start going. Look at me, look at me.

All right. So that ends up. Molly, you're up. I'm going to take a run towards the fake jester. All right. 2530. Yeah, that's where I can get there. And I'm just gonna try and see if I can make vicious mockery work on this thing.

You do have line of sight. Oh, you have a line of sight? That's eight. Does that hit? Bat turkey. So that's a... Butt turkey. Yeah, butt turkey.

You heard me. That's one point of psychic damage. That was so sad. And it has disadvantaged tax stack. Yay! All right, an enzymized turn. It is now the wolf's turn. Oh, shit.

So this one is gonna run kind of pacing around this side up into that range there. Oh, good. And it's gonna like rush up and kind of partially pass through the jester illusion. Look back and see all that crowd in front. And its area, it pulls back and you watch as its shoulders curl up and the fur expands. No. Oh, do you watch as a burst of freezing winter. winter air just blows out of its open mouth.

Oh. That's gonna get all three of you guys. I left or no point. So I need you all to make a dexterity saving throw. Yeah, it just puts a cone out in that direction. No. Round two. 20.

No. That's a success. No. Yasha? Natural one. Okay, all right. Oh, fuck me. Oh, God.

16 points of cold damage to Yasha and Caleb and eight points to you, Jester. Already? Eight points to me? Yes. But half because I'm resistant to cold damage. Exactly, so four. Wow.

The other one is going to go ahead and turn around. What? It's not going for a wooden sword. I thought about that man, that's a 20. But you can certainly try. It saw it for a moment, but it's going to move. It's going to move. It's going to rush up here.

No, that was a key point. Very valuable key point. It was like running out. And you just whistled out and went, and just kept running. Fuck. It's going to go ahead and blast another cold air bit in that direction, which she'll go for both Molly and Ford.

I need you both. to roll dexterity saving throws, please. I don't know. Oh, no. Eight, 12. You barely succeed. Molly does not. That is 26 points of cold damage to you, Molly.

I rolled really well on that. Oh, geez. That's 13 to you, Ford. 26 points. I am not resistant. You are not, unfortunately, no. Okay. Thirteen, yeah, okay.

Ow. Wait, you're out? No, I'm fine, I'm not fine, but ow. Yeah. And as it finishes blowing, just growls in place, that's gonna end its turn. Yeah, all right, so that'll bring to the next round. That's Yasha, you're up.

Pick one and focus fire on that one. Okay, so reckless. Reckless. All righty. And, uh, hold on, let me see something here. Sorry, where's the hex? Uh, divine fury. Do you do that as well?

All righty, go for it. Are you raging? Can you keep raging? I don't have anymore. Oh no! Yeah. Raged too much games of chance. Do I have, wait, do I have advantage or that's it?

They have advantage with your attacks, if you're reckless. Sorry. Oh, natural 20. Natural 20 again. Yeah! That'll hit. Okay. Come on.

Oh boy. So Divine Fury is an extra. D6. Oh, hmm. Should have had disadvantage. Disavantage isn't affected. It's just a cone. Oh, it's just a cone?

Yeah. Okay. Sorry. All right. Well, it's technically it would be essential 20, so you only roll three of those dice. Oh, is the Divine Fury and Extra D6? Yes, that's how it is. So that's, oh, so it's three. I'm sorry.

That's three. It's fine. It's okay. Okay. 27. 27 points of damage. Oh, you carve a hefty chunk out of this wolf as you slam down with your blade as it carves past.

You see where the white fur is now become red on its left side. It pulls back from the pain. Part of its flesh is kind of flapping from the wound you left as you draw the blade back. That was a pretty hefty hit. But Enziash's turn, knot you're up. Okay, I'm going to aim for that flap of skin. Fire 25 to hit. That definitely hits.

All right. That is 16 points of damage. 16 points of damage, beautiful. I will run, no, I will fire again. Same place. Go for it. 16 to hit. That hits, roll damage.

Six points. All right, six to that guy. As both bolts hit the open wound that Yash left behind, It's now starting to growl and look like it's in pain and is getting cornered animal angry. I'm gonna run this way. Me. As far as my little, well, so I can still see everybody and the action. Okay, so there you can still see.

All right, that ends in a nod's turn. Ford, you're up. I'm gonna cast armor of agathis on myself. All right. And I'm going to use my bonus action to cast hex on the wolf that's nearest to Yasha. Okay. and give it disadvantage on dexterity checks. All right, you got it. I'm going to use my movement to run towards that wolf.

This wolf here? Mm-hmm. All right, so you can get there. In between Ma and Yasha. All right, the one that you run away from does snap at you with its ma. I know you guys love that word. No, I do. Ma.

That is going to be a nine. That does not hit. I miss it. So three plus six, it, his jaw snap behind you and you hear the impact, but it's too far below All right, that ends Ford's go. Caleb, you're up. I pull out to the cat's paw and say, bad dog, and Maximilian's grasping cat's claw comes out by that one there. It has to make a strength saving throw. All righty, this one here?

Strength saving throw. That is going to be a 12. What's your DC? 15. No. Oh, fucking a. So he is held in place. So as the hand creeps up and grabs it, it kind of, and it's held in place now kind of up off the ground, its paw is held as this giant cat paw is holding the doggy.

And I will move that way to make a triangle with the two dogs and myself. To get as far away though as I can get. Yeah. There you go. You can technically get on it if you want to. Disadvantage to hit us. That's great. Alright, ends Caleb's turn at the top. Bo, you're up.

Okay, I'm gonna look around with my defensive stance and be like, oh, fucking really? And then go, do, do, du, parkour. Right, all of us. No, those guys got advantage. Coof! It's fine, oh, wait, wait, that guy's cone. You're right there. It's a butt? Yeah, too late. Get him.

Well, it's... Give advantage on your strikes though. I'm just coming down very hard. and heavy advantage. I'll take that natural 19. And then for my second one, advantage on all of them. I'll take that 13. 13 just hits. Okay, so the first one, not great, six damage, second one. Better eight damage. Eight damage. Okay, all righty, as you leap over, slamming your fist down on, or your staff down on the nostril of the restrained wolf, and then as you land, whack, hit it with the back of your elbow, and it kind of takes the impact, but it can't move anywhere. It's held in place by this magical man. Do I still have a little bit of movement?

You do. Can I move behind it a little bit? It would be... Oh, so... Sorry, it takes bludgeoning damage from the attack that I gave it. Roll damage for that, please. Yeah. Did you try to move around it? You have about 15 more feet of moving outside. Can I come like here to it?

You know what? Yeah, it's fine. Whatever works. Whatever. It's all good. It's all good. I'm into it all. Six damage, all right, got it. All right, that ends. Bo's turn. Jester, you're up. Molly, you're on deck. Having seen Bo do that just then and it looks really cool, I'm gonna jump off the wall with my hand axe in my hand and try to come down onto the back of the one right there. Okay, so you're gonna run across the wall. Arcork! All righty.

Good. Good. Good. Nice. Fighting is more epic when you're flying through the air. All right. As you carve down with the axe and it cuts through, it kind of yelps again. You guys are cutting up pretty bad.

It's hurting. It's not on death's door or anything, but it's hurting. And it's first starting to get matted with its own blood with each blow. That ends Jester's turn, or anything else you want to do in your turn? Can I back up? back up, is it going to get an attack of opportunity? A moment to find out. So dire.

It's a yes. Oh no. Well, I'm going to move around him. I'm just going to move to where, like, to his tail, like to the pillar. Yeah. All right up against the pillar there. All righty. That's your turn, Jester.

Molly, you're up. I'm going to take a slashing attack at the guy right in front of me. Okay. So that's... Oh, god damn it. That's 12 to hit. Twelve does not hit, unfortunately. It just ducks out of the way.

I'm gonna hit it again. Oh my god, it's a natural fucking one. Oh, yeah. You're trying to swing at it, but unfortunately, for some reason, the howl of its presence, and it moving so quickly in front of you kind of just throws you off and your plates are not going well. I'm going to try, I'm just going to

try and circle around a little bit just to sort of space everybody out a bit. Yeah. Alrighty. That ends your turn, Molly. Now the Wolf's turn. Let's see if they get their breath back. Nope. And nope. They now do it. Huge. Huge. Oh, that's good. Huge. No. No. So they are both going to make a single bite attack. One of them is going to be, let's see, against you, Yasha, you did the most amount of damage to us. It's going to make a bite attack against you.

No! That is going to be, and it has advantage because you used your Recklace. That's going to be. So it's just a advantage from its, for its, for its attack though. Oh yeah. From the... Right, so it would have been the first strike.

So that would be a total of 14. What's your mark class? 14. Oh, it just hits. All righty. That would be two... 12 points of piercing damage as it bites on you with this giant jaws. I need you to make a strength saving throw.

Okay. Which you do not have advantage currently because you're not raging. Okay. I have one more time. It's a small. Super buff. Mm. You're up.

Not just in the game. 24. Success. It does not knock you prone. It bites and tries to throw you onto the ground, but you push off of its jaws and use the back of the wall to steal yourself and kick its mouth off of you and still stand there resolute with your blade in hand. Nice. The other one is going to, it's going to attempt to break free? Yeah. It does not like being held in place by there. What does it have to roll to break free? 15. 15 of what kind of check? Oh, strength. Strength? Yeah. Yeah. 13 plus 4, that's 17, yep. Okay. So it manages to break free of the hand.

Okay, but that's its action, correct? It's his action, correct. So it will move over here to flank up. Bow, you do get an attack opportunity on as it moves out of space. And if you hit it, it does prevent it from moving. It does. 14. 14 hits.

Yeah! So it gets dragged back. It does not get up into melee with the rest of your friends as you have Hold you, hold you, grab the tail. Yeah, that's eight damage. Eight damage. It's like our lunitude cartoon, just like my heels, back here.

As you're pulling the tail, it's like scream, oh, show me your belly, show me your belly. It just felt its gooch almost rip out. Oh, oh. All right, that's gonna end their turn, Yasha, you're. Okay, I'm gonna take another attack. Wait, I'm within 10, oh yeah, I'm right now. Fjorda.

Yeah. You're doing your endings necessary. Okay. All right, I'm gonna take another attack. Yeah, go for it. Reckless, all the stuff. How do you wanna do this? Natural one.

Glad thing you went reckless. Natural 20. Jesus. I think you found your snitch. Yeah. That's a beast, man. That's a cat. Okay.

All right. Come on, come on. Nine, 18, two, eight. Oh, it's done. Oh, no, no, it's nine double. 25 points of damage. Probably still not down. That's gone.

How do you want to do this? All right. A beast. Can I, I want to grab over his head, rip over. Pedaliy's up plus two with rage. It's only because it's up plus seven, right? Say again. Is it again?

It's 23? Because you're not raging, remember? Because you're not raging, remember? There's two damage from that you don't have on the plus seven to it plus five. Okay. Oh, he's still enough to finish it, but it's not let you know. Oh, let's break it down again? Because it's plus three for strength, okay.

Right, plus two for your divine fury, and then plus two for your rage damage. That makes it plus seven. Oh, okay. Right, I see what you're saying. Okay. Had 22 two hit points left, so you still manage to carve it down. Yeah. Okay.

Okay, sorry. I'm doing this probably. I need to write all these down to my notes later, so we don't have to keep going through this. Okay, so I want to go over the top of his head and force his jaw open and then take my blade and put it through his mouth. Strait of his body. As the blade carves through, you hear it kind of yelp and its growl turns to this low guttural. It just goes limp in your grip as you kind of push it and draw the blade from its body.

It slumps onto the ground right at the base of gestural. As you kind of step back in Molly, you both kind of take a step back as the body just slumps under the ground, no longer moving. The hex is off. No. I catch him as a good doggie. All righty. That's the end of Yasha's turn, not Europe.

I will fire, I do what I always do. I fire my crossbow at the beast for a 14 to hit. That hits. All right. Oh, and it's, oh yeah. Definitely, snike. Oh, yeah. 12 points of damage. 12 points of damage to it already.

How's everyone, is everyone alive? Everyone's up. Barely. Yasha could use some... Yeah. Snakes right, yasha's right next to it. I mean, bow. I couldn't see her behind the wall.

I will do the same thing. I will reload fire again. Go for it. That's a miss. Ten points. Oh, 10 to attack? Ten to attack. Yeah, it goes too wide.

It hits the stone behind a hole. almost hitting bow, you're like, as it sparks off the stone. No impact. And I'll do, I'll just duck behind the wall and hide like a weakling. There you go. Knock the brave, by the name. Ford, you're up. With my bonus action, can I transfer my hex onto this wolf?

And can I start running around to get to its right hind quarter? Staying in melee, but getting on its rear. Oh, you're going to melee with it? Mm-hmm. All righty, so you move there. Can I keep coming this way a little more? Yeah, right there. There you go. And can I reach back and as I start to swing my hand up I'll summon the waste hunter Fouchon and slice up through it. Go for it. As the blade appears in the hand, you see a blast of greenish energy as the blade

apparates out of his grip. As he swings upward, it sends an arc of sea wires splashing into the air. Go ahead and roll for an attack. Both me and my invoked jester go, that's good, that's good, yeah? That's good. That's a good. Is this the same sort of? I start one of the word. Five. This is sort of looks a little different. 13 points of damage.

13 points of damage. Damn. And 1D6, necrotic, for another four, so 17 total. Alrighty. So as you arc upward, it cuts upward, you see the splash of seawater mixed with like the arc of blood from the wound. It kind of, the way you carved up hits the back of its thigh and when the leg kind of collapses for a second. It kind of looks over at you with these anguish. angry, piercing blue eyes. It's looking pretty hurt. It's kind of limping to that side now.

You guys see that the Fouchin has a slight curve to it and it's kind of hooked into the back of its design. All right, that finishes your turn forward? It does. Caleb, you're up. Yeah, just deadpan. I do this around my hand and I cast three scorching rays out of it at this thing. Alrighty. So the first does not hit at all. There's a two plus something. The second one hits 19 plus a . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . six. And the third one hits 16 plus That hits, so the second time hits, hit so. Four, five. A total of nine fire damage.

Nine? Sorry, total of nine fire damage to it. So as it's kind of turning back and forward, growling, and bow's kind of herring the other side, the two rays of fire slam into its side and it kind of turns back around. You can see the dark burn marks on its white fur where the impacts have started to burn. You can see some of the skin underneath where the hair has been burned away. It's kind of black and cracked.

It's hurt pretty bad. I call out as I walk backwards slowly. Ford, you got this? Good, and I just walk deadpan sideways behind that piece of stuff. Perfect, all right. Any Caleb's turn, Bo, you're up. Okay, I'm going to take my staff after I threw my sword, I'm going to crack it in the nuts and then crack it over the top. Go for it. Yes. Yeah, go ahead. First attack and second, it's first attack.

Oh, natural one! It was so slow. Oh, it really was. Second attack, it really does, is a 17 for the second attack. 17 does hit. That's in there. That is a four, so eight damage. Eight points of damage.

Hopo. All right. And then, are we feeling? Feeling good, feeling good? As you slam it with the second hit kind of up in its groin area, it's impacted. It's hanging on, it's hurting, but it's pretty beat up. Pretty beat up. So it does pay and neuter your pets and I'm going to do Flurry of blows.

And I'll do one more. I'll get it. Finish it. Oh my god, another natural one. That's good. Fuck, it really is. Terrible. So that's two natural ones in my turn.

Yasha and Bo have just been hitting two sides of the coin tonight. All right. Bob Barker is not here tonight. I know. How many key points do you have left? That's it. That's the last one. All right.

All righty. That ends Bo's turn. Jester, you're up and Molly are after that. Ah, I'm going to toll the dead. All righty. And my invoked Jester's going to run around and stand next to four. Okay. Runs around. I rolled a 14. What's your DC?

14. It resists it, unfortunately. No toll. Sorry. No toll. Anything. I think that's basically all I can do, though. Molly, you're up.

I'm gonna breathe deep and take a run. run at this damn thing. Come on. Straight into it and I'm just gonna come swinging out at it. That was how you taxi doing. That's a hit. That's 23 to hit. That'll hit.

All right, that's a... This thing doesn't take extra damage from this, does it? No, it doesn't. No, that's fine. Seven points of damage for the first hit? Seven points, all right. Is that right? No, yeah, that's right.

And then... Yeah. 23 to hit, yeah, 21 to hit. Yeah, roll damage. And that's seven points of damage again. How do you want to do this? I just want to see if I can carve through the mouth as deep in. Just I'm going to try and get out right and I'm going to do dental jaw breaker.

As you go rushing towards it, it opens its jaws to strike. You slide down and with one cemetery you jam up into its lower jaw, which causes its upper jaw to be stuck. And as you pull it out, its jaw falls open. does your other blade, your back swing, dropping, or not dropping, but holding wrong with both hands on the other side, swing through. As it carbs in, you actually get about one to two feet inward as the jaw kind of blows open, the tongue kind of slips out as you've cut it from the inside of the mouth. Its eyes go dull as the creature's body collapses to the

ground no longer moving. Oh, fucking yes. With that point, the whole crowd goes, Rha! cheering. Yasha! Yasha! Yasha! The gates where you came is open, and you all go and return. The minute that it ends, I'm going to start casting prayer of healing.

Okay, so as you guys step into the back chamber, you cast prayer of healing. Yeah, who all is injured right now? I'm pretty bad. One, two, three, four. I'm pretty shit. And I'm not too bad. And you're not at all? I'm okay.

I've been drinking. I'm hiding. Okay, so I'm gonna cast it on the five of us. All righty. I could get knocked out by a crownscan. Did you get one more? Do you have more despair? Yeah.

Okay, I'll text him. Oh yeah, that's what I'm asking. I can do six people. Okay. Fourteen points to every level. Oh, that's huge. Yeah. Wow.

Healer. Yes. All righty. I think Laura is the best healer we heard. Yeah. I mean, I mean. As you guys pull, As you guys pull back into your chamber, there's a few like nods.

Dero's like clapping, and the rest of the receiver clapping is a clap from two of the mountain makers off to the side, at which point, the mountain makers are announced and they step out into the space. And as they all gather, kind of hiding in the corner, spreading out a bit, two of the sides open, and out of one, two large, fur-ed entities, about eight to nine feet tall come rushing in, who looks like a combination of fur and fur, and a bit of fur and a little, it looks like a combination of fur and feathers, these hooked dark beaks at the tips of their mouth. Two owl bears come running in.

Albers! And just go into an assault on these people. They took some hits in the last battle, and as it goes back and forth, you watch as they're striking it and cutting through, the owl bears are screaming this horrible, like, squeal of pain, anguish combined with just ravenous anger and they start tearing and pulling into them. One of them grabs the gnome and its beak and pulls up and tears his throat out, and the gnome just kind of gurgles as it falls to the ground. and the two clerics immediately come up to the side, like getting ready to rush out there to try and save its life.

At which point, another one of them manages to hit one of the owl bears in its leg as it falls in the ground, and they all start slashing on it. It looks like one owl bear is about to fall, as the other one in a complete frenzy, either partnered or what, tears and grabs one of the dwarves and just starts biting into its face as it screams. It falls unconscious in the ground. It grabs another and bites into its chest, throwing it into the sky as they spin off to the side. As they all begin to pick up to assault one that's going after them, the one on the ground, slowly gets back up and joins the fray,

and you watch one by one as these owl bears on the cusp of dying tear through the mountain makers. Oh, wow. At which point, the crowd goes like, oh, whoa, big cheers, like, cheers, because it's just, it's a display, but also like that kind of mournful, whoa, that low bassy sound.

At which point you see the two groups come out again with the chains and they kind of come up to the outskirts of the owl bears, which then pass out, and they put the manacles and chains, and then pull them away. Right as they get up to them, they pass out. They pull them off and drag them. The gates open wide, the clerics rush out and grab and drag in the bodies. The gnome is gone, but one of the clerics reaches over and touches him. And for a moment later, breath comes back and you watch the wound close up somewhat, brought from death. Majestic eyes. As they pull the group in, the shout comes for the next group.

The Stamonstock returns. And Dero and his team rush out, kind of getting a pious. hat on the shoulder to Yasha on the rush out. They go out to the middle field, the gates close, and there, two of the gates open on the sides. And you see these dark shapes kind of, shh-shh-shkittling but shifting. Their position seems hard to map. And at which point you see Dero kind of glancing at the side,

goes, oh no, I know this is. And you watch as these large panther-like creatures with large tendrils off their back whipping. You begin rushing inward. One of them swings and swings and swings. But as he strikes, it passes through, and it all of a sudden shifts and was not in the space where it it bounces on to one of his adventurers. They begin to just hack back and forth, crowding up around each other, back to back.

One of them is pulling out his long bow and letting loose, like, arrow after arrow, some striking, some missing. One of them all of a sudden the phase is lost. It gets struck, and now it seems to be in a solid place. They use that moment for all of them to dash in and surround this one creature. They managed to, within one round, carve down this one displacement on one side, the other angrily, pouncing onto Darrow and holding them to the ground. Its back legs clawing into his belly as the others try and pull it off. Darrow takes a serious series of wounds

before he manages to pull himself free. The Displacer Beast grabs another of its friends and snaps him in his face. He falls unconscious and whips around. They strike out it a few times, but they can't seem to find it where its body is. It seems to be dodging around to finally Darrow back up.

His face covered in blood. Takes his war, his battle axe and swings wide and clocks it in the side of the jaw. Its strange illusion form banishes at that point, its body coming to a very condensed location. They all swarm this one, and one by one, just tear it down for the next round. They're hurt, they're bruised, and Darrow's looking rough. But with that, the stubborn stock raised their hands. The stubborn stock continues. And the crowd cheers. They come back.

They come back. Yes. I can't clap once more. As they pull back in, the MC, while walks out. Two rounds completed, and only two teams remain. For the third and final round, will they all fall? Will they all survive? We shall see as next. We call forth the mighty nine. Any preparation you guys have in this moment as the doors begin to open? Everyone.

I'm tab. I'm tap. Wait! I'm so tap. Wait! Wait, what if we just stood next to all the doors and held our action until something came out of them? Then they would be alone out there for like two rounds. What are you doing? We just attack and then we run to the middle. Plus somebody's gonna be super danger close right off the bat. Yeah, but we get a hit in on them and the second they came out. I'm kind of into it I had that's a terrible idea. That seems like a terrible plan. Why is that a terrible idea? There's some super squishy people in here that all naked have. We might get away from it. We might get a surprise about. We would

Get a surprise round on them. There's only like four doors, right? Yeah, so pick four people, I'll take one of them. Pick the less squishy. All right, if that's what you guys want to do. I think it's a terrible, I think this is a terrible plan. It might be a terrible plan. Let's do it.

I don't know, I'm kind of into it. You know, get inside and get the chains because they seem to be scared of those. I'm snapping my fingers and bringing Frumpkin scoff like around my neck under my hood. All right, that seems a terrible thing. So at this, at this point the crowd's cheering, My teen nine! My teen nine! My teen nine!

The doors are open. What are you guys doing? Yeah, I'll go take one of the doors. I'm taking a door. I do it. For the record, I do not like the door. I love it. Who's going where? If we say flanking somebody, anyone who runs away from us.

Oh, that's true. Maybe we can go. You want to take a door? How long does your illusion last? Involucity, I think lasts for... I want to say an hour, but they don't know if it does. I will stay with Ford. I'll take a door.

You should get some doors. Where are you going on? Yasha and I will take a door. Pick you a door? No, you can pick not. That's fine. All right. It doesn't matter.

The idea of whatever doors they come out of will get one surprise round and then whoever's by those doors better be able to take some damage. Defend themselves. Yeah. So you don't want to be in there, me. I'm going to go. I'm going to go. She's a term lady. Do you like that door?

Do you like that door? Let's put Caleb back where I studied. This is such a bad idea. This is, it's going to be like two rounds to get to whoever. So long as you're going to be alone for two full rounds with whatever this thing is. I'm fast as fuck. Yeah. What if you're there, what if it comes out of that door?

I don't know. Sorry, this is how much time we have to plan and This is a terrible happening. So guys. When are all the doors, by the by? There are four doors, right? There are four doors? No, there's one, two.

For one minute, so your multiplicities go. I'm going to hop up. I don't know if the map is accurate to the, how many doors are accurate. How many doors are actually? Matt, can you please do us a favor and point out the doors? Right. One, two, the map is accurate to them. Fuck that.

No, no, no, we gotta get in the middle. This is a terrible plan. There's two doors. Five doors. There's too many doors. You guys exit from this one here. I'm going to do the same thing and hop up on a wall. We come in the door.

from one of the doors, so there's only four. Yeah. You came in from this one. Oh, that's a good point. There's only four doors. There's those four others besides the one that we came in. This is about how well we do. Guys, quickly.

Four doors. We're going to die. I'm going to stay by Yasha. What's your plan? Anything else? I'm going to hold my attack for the door. I'm going to go to the opposite point from Kaila. No, no, we got to come in the center.

We got to take advantage of the sentinels. Yeah. That's the point of the feet. We're spread way too fucking. Yeah, this is so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to drop so fast. Do what we did last time.

Come back to the crowd's cheering, dies down. What are you guys doing? Hang on, hey, we take Sam's similar approach, but we guard these for... Okay, sure. Okay. Incidences. Yeah, that's good. Okay.

Yasha and I are going to move here and guard these two. I'm going to go against the back of that wall now. I'm standing where I am and I'm casting Magehand. It is hard to walk on two legs, maybe for each round. But holding my attack. Okay. But I should, I want to be on the other, yeah, that point. Not you're saying that.

I'm staying and I'm holding an attack till something runs out of my door. Let's see. And now you're staying there. I'm ready to shoot anything that comes out of this door. You're gonna be at disadvantage because it's gonna be right next to you. No, I have a crossbow feet. Okay.

As the quiet has the stillness has come across the whole battlefield. Every breath is being held. You all in your chaos, running around, trying to shot orders to each other, you all eventually come to settle in this place. All the day, doors, come upward. Heavy repeated footfalls hit. Before bursting out of the far end, you see a hill giant as it stands there in the center of the field. You see now,

it has it has these tiny little like spine stuck into it like it's been agitated and pushed to a point of absolute rage and anger. It's just roaring. I let my crossbow bolt go. All right, you can release it? Just out into the, oh fuck. Go for it. No, not at it, nope.

All right. And this is we're gonna pick up next week. It's just 11 o'clock. Yeah. Two spines and stuff. Oh my. Dang it! Ugh.

I want to fight it right now. I know, I know. Yeah. I have no key point. Oh my God. So that's gonna be fun. That is a huge thing. Right, Ford.

Good time. All right. Aren't you glad you weren't standing there by yourself for that? I mean. We'd have gotten two hits in. We're just as far away from the thing. You get one. No, there was two people standing next to that door.

No, there was just Ford. At one point there was Ford and Caleb. He moved. If you had stuck to the planet, and we'd gotten two hits, and we were all just as far away as we were before. So we're gonna pick up next week at the start of this final round. It would have been three rounds before I can do any damage before to kill them.

Well, you shouldn't have been there far away. It's like, oh my god, no. Oh, man. Good time. Yeah. That's gonna be fun. Overestimating the value of surprise. Yeah, this is a very angry hill giant rushing towards you right now.

We need to give you. Giant great club in its hand. It's gonna be fun. All right, guys. Like adding to a rage or something? I don't know. We'll pick this up next week. In the meantime, have a good week.

Thank you guys for watching. We love you very much. Check out on Tuesday, Pillars of Eternity 2 coming out. Super excited about that. Once again, thank you for D&D. Beyond for being amazing. And all you guys are checking in, have a wonderful week, and is it Thursday, Ed? Good night.

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