Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - C2E19 The Gentleman‘s Path

Episode Date: January 29, 2022

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Buster triple headliner Saturday, May 16th. Rhonda Rousey returns to face fellow woman's MMA pioneer Gina Carano in the main event. Plus co-main's Nate Diaz versus Mike Perry. And the best have you wait in the world, Francis Ngano versus Felipe Lenz. Watch Rhonda Rousey versus Gina Carrano, live only on Netflix. Saturday, May 16th at 9 p.m. Eastern Center Time, 6 p.m. Pacific Time. Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.

Before we dive into tonight's game, we've got some announcements to get through. First and foremost, we have two fantastic sponsors tonight, the first of which is our good friend, D&D Beyond. Been with us since beginning of this campaign. The actual, the new book, Morden Kydden's Tome of Fos, releases tomorrow. I got one last month, and it's amazing. It's, oh my God, it's so good. It has the Astroodreadnought. I'm so happy.

Hope you guys never have to fight one. But yeah, so you can order that now on D&D Beyond. and check out all the wonderful content there. And if you order on D&D Beyond, you'll also receive the Rekama Adventures League Gith-focused introductory adventure for free. If you know what that means, wharves like mine.

The Gith, Gith Yankees, such an amazing part of D&D lore. Go Yankees. Go Razzis. Razai. But anyway, and as a reminder, Tomafones is also available in D&D Beyond's legendary bundle, which is still 25% off using the code 826 LA. So if you wanted to do the legendary bundle, get the huge discount, Tomafosa is included in that.

So go and check it out. It's amazing. So thank you, D&D Beyond, and hope you enjoy the new release tomorrow. Sam, you want to talk about our other sponsor for the evening? Our second sponsor for the evening is Backblaze. If you guys don't know Black, Backblaze. I'm sorry. If you guys don't know BackBlase, it is Unlimited Cloud Back. for Macs and PCs for just $5 a month. Yes, Backblaze stores, docs, music, photos, videos, fan art, and more. I use the service.

And to be honest, I've always thought it sounds magical. Well guys, I discovered that it is actual magic. Fairy magic, to be exact. In fact, I captured one of their head fairies, Yev's, a little sprite named Yev in this trash fairy. Whoa. We were jumping around. Just around, let me just settle him down in here.

There are no air holes that's very responsible. It's okay. You see, oh, look, there is. Oh, no. Magic is real. Wow, magic is real. I have it right here in the bag. Yeb, how does Backblaze work?

Oh, he says you can restore files anywhere via direct download. You think that was gonna be loud enough? I don't get a backup. That doesn't work. He says, you can restore files anywhere via direct download. or restore by mail and receive a hard drive with your files. Yes, yes, Yev, but how does Backblaze keep all those backups for such a low price?

There is. Wait, Yev says that they harness the power of love to store data? And that that love also sustains your life? Wait a second, without your love, you'll die? Oh God, everyone, Yev is sick. Our applause will cure him, everyone clap! Oh my god, no, it's made it worse. His lung has collapsed.

He's bleeding internally. Oh my god, what can we do? He says that not enough people have visited backblaze.com slash critical role. That's him shaking. It's not me. Puppetry work is amazing. Not enough people have visited backblaze.com slash critical role to sign up to get a 15 Day free trial. Critters, if you want Yev to live, you need to click on the site right now!

Oh God! Oh God, he's flatlining! No! Live! We can continue the show! You are a master of building tension. You get this back, you earned it. Pocketry! That was a real fairy, guys. The Jim Henson studio was mad. was mad to let you go.

All you need. How you ever snagged it with just a kitchen garbage bag is beyond me. He's thrifty. Yeah. No. A child's lightsaber's toy thing. Don't ruin the illusion. What are you doing?

Why are you doing us? You never show your tricks. It's so quiet. I know. It seems just too quiet. The floor escaped and left us presence. The best one right here. It's a dragon.

Oh, no, it ran out of the batteries. I honestly. Oh, my face. My face hurts. Thank you, Sam. And thank you back, please, for your amazing support. Thank you, Yves. All right.

All righty. Wow. Ow. So getting us back on track here. We have the Vox Machina Origins hardcover. We'll be on sale next week, 531. It's a beauty. Or, very, very soon.

On May 31st, you can find it in the Geek and Sunday online shop. Check all the details on critroll.com for it, but it's pretty awesome. We're excited. We're just on paper. We're happy that we can bring it physically to you guys and not just digitally. So check out that. We have the stream of many eyes coming up with our friends at Dungeons and Dragons.

Coming up, an event starts June 1st. And if you're in LA, you can check out the show live in person, check out D&D.Wisards.com slash SOME, some stream of many eyes, for more info and tickets. But Ashley will be there. We'll play in my game on Friday. Me and Marisha, Sam, Travis, and Talison will all be participating in the stream as well. So check it out throughout the weekend. There's a lot of great guests coming in there to play some D&D and unveil Wizards next big story campaign moments. Is that true? This girl right here. No, we asked.

You just don't pay attention to email. Oops. You got stuff going on. You know, there's a thing happening because you're perfect. It's a human-growing in. Yeah, you got baby brain, right? That's true.

I totally was just like, nobody asks me. Oops. Sorry, guys. So we'll see you guys there. Yeah, some of you. All right, so once again, we have of our fantastic Tox Machina every Tuesday at 7 p.m. Pacific. We're a fantastic host and Meister of Cabbages. Brian W. Foster will be there with a few guests from the show

to discuss the events of tonight's episode. It'll be available on Twitch and Project Alpha, so go check it out there. Also, a reminder for Twitch Prime, if you have an Amazon Prime account, you can go ahead and sign up to subscribe to a channel on Twitch for free every month if you manage to merge the two accounts together

with your Twitch Prime and Amazon Prime. So, yay. Let's see, we have the critical live dice sets are currently back in stock and in the store. Yes. And if they're still there, the Voxmachina dice set is around as well. Oh shit, there we go. Anur. Tweeted it out because I was like, no one told me that one was in.

That's exciting. There you go. And to finish up, I will be flying bright and early tomorrow up to Calgary to be part of Odafest. So. Yeah, that's awesome. It's beautiful. All you wonderful. wonderful folks in the Canada area, come and say hi. We have panels and sightings and all

like good stuff between. So I'll see you guys there. Unless we have anything else to discuss, I believe that's the end of the announcements tonight. And that also heralds our diving back in. Tonight's episode of Critical Role. Hello and welcome back. Wow, you're just going back to basics tonight. You got to. Apparently, we've got full circle. back to 255 and 0. Welcome back. So, last we left off, the Mighty Nine have been caught up in the political turmoil of the empire, noticing that the king has declared war on the Eastern realm of Jorjas, specifically the Kreen dynasty. Apparently there was an assault on one of the garrisons to the east. There were many lives lost in the sky now darkens. and so you've begun to decide what it is you can do

and what your current plan of action is. As you began to gather your things and decide where your next trajectory would be, you were summoned to the King's Hall or brought before the lawmaster of the town of Zadesh in which she implored you if you were interested having proven your medal in the past and in the victory pit

not too long ago, if you'd be interested in signing up as legionnaires to help aid, protect, and do work for the end. empire at home while all the military forces of the righteous brain have moved to the east to engage with the enemy. You took it under consideration and left, went back to gather some more supplies at your inn, and which you were delivered emissive from an old friend Kara saying that the gentleman would like to speak with you, and that was where we left off. So, Mighty Nine, having just returned to the leaky tap, being briefly met with Kara who delivered this information and then vanished back into the afternoon, what would you like to Well, clearly we're going to go talk to El Hefe.

Yes. Got it out of the way right away. Autocrine. Inside story. Joke. Whatever. The inside story. Yeah, right. I think we should go talk to him. I mean, I mean, that seems like it would be smart, right? Yes!

We've already signed one contract with him. Yeah, it's not like you would know where we went if we left anyway. if we left anyways. Yeah. What time do is it right now? If I recall, it's kind of later afternoon. That is my voice. Is it?

I'm dialing it in still. There it is. And we got there. A little more mid, a little less trouble. What time is it? It's like late afternoon, I believe. Okay. I mean, yeah, we could just head over.

Let's do it. I get nervous, I get nervous spending too much time in one place, but if everyone's going, then we're going. Yeah, it's kind of like stopping the way out, right? What if what he wants us to do means we have to stay here for a while, though? Well, it'll have to make it worth a while. Like for lots of money, would you stay? You're at a table, you're doing well.

Eventually you want to walk away from the table. But what if the table offers you like four times the amount you've ever seen? The table always offers you four times the amount you've ever seen. You've got to walk away while you're winning. But all right. Yeah, we'll make it soon. All right. So, as you make your way across the pentamarket to the familiar kind of down, dank and broody interior

of the evening-knit tavern, you pass by Clive, who gives you a nod, you head towards the hidden staircase down to the subterranean tavern. And there, a different sound catches your ear. just the familiar sound of warm music and tavern flare, but you also hear rowdy shouts and cheers, and the occasional slam up something heavy against a skidding table. As you slowly descend towards the base

of the curved staircase to enter the main chamber, you can see, some folks are sitting at the tables, the gentleman is in this far corner in the back, and they're all watching a small circle of people in the center as two individuals in the process of beating the shit out of each other, bare fists, bear knack, and people are making bets and laughing and cheering and throwing beer and various objects into the ring to mess with them. It is mid-crazed scuffle at the moment.

Oh, God, it's a fight club. It's a fucking fight club! As you guys step down into the main area, the large ogre bodyguard stands and kind of turns back. He's, you know, low, guttural grunt comes through his protruding jaw line with a... It just kind of gives you a sign to continue inward. How you been, Coutha? Yeah, me too. All right. Getting a glimpse here as you watch a bit of parting between shoulders,

as everyone's standing end to end, you hear this heavy crack, and then the two people nearest to you all of a sudden bow backward, apparently one of the two fighting individuals being thrust into the circle, who was immediately pushed back into the center, and you hear another couple of swings go before they both kind of break away. You can hear the heavy breaths of them now exhausted, but pouring with sweat, you recognize them. One is Lewis, one of the agents who fled from the research facility that you were then going after, and the other is Thed. The halfling fellow with the neck tattoo you had saved from the sewers.

Oh shit! Not for a week and a half earlier. They are both bloodied. The time that we got the information from. Yes. Yeah, yeah, remember he was trapped down by the spider. And the first guy's name was Lewis? Lewis and Thed.

Yes. Lewis and Thed. They are both bloodied intensely attempting to pummel the other into unconsciousness. and people seem to be just happily cheering it on as they go. I don't know, wait. Yeah, who was Lewis? Seeing from the research facility? There was the three people that went there and fled the research facility

that you then had to go. Yes. Woo, go ahead! Oh, yeah, that's right. Research facility? They made a phone up. I'm going to jump up on the table and watch it. We haste.

The gentleman's guys who talked to you before we went to go and killed the little of this. Oh, oh, oh. Yeah. Got it. All right, so as Jester ascends to one of the nearby, taking tables and watches down into the midst. You can watch as Fed kind of crawls upward, fist up in front of his face trying to guard.

He goes for like a duck and comes in for an upper cut. You watch as Lewis slaps it away, but it still manages to catch the edge of his jaw. It kind of slaps his head a little bit at the side, and that's such he pushes off and gives a kick to the chest of Fed who falls back a second, goes into his back leg, and comes forward with a huge haymaker. At this point, Lewis tries to back out of the way,

but it comes at an upward angle and slams into the side of his temple. You watch as his face kind of goes starry on, for a second as he tries to grab the edge of one of the chairs to catch himself. Thed runs up and then knees him right in the center of like the chest and stomach region. You hear the whole group goes, oh, around. And you watch as Lewis pushes off the chair and steps back and tries to back swing towards Dead.

Dead slaps it out of the way and goes in for a headbut. It's at this point that Lewis appears to have pulled what appears to be something from his back pocket. And as he swings his hand upward, a scattering of his sand and dust goes into Thed's face, who backs up going, ah, start to like rub it, right into his face, and he begins to step away trying to get his fists up. Lewis uses the opportunity to go forward and sweep his legs out from under him.

As he hits the ground, chest up, he just goes into a double-handed hammer fist, boom, right down to the head's chest. The air escapes him. Once again, the crowd goes, oh, it's like a slight clap from the back and the gentleman is trying to watch over the shoulders of everybody.

Jump up on the table, you can see better. I just the first time he's acknowledged your entry and kind of gives a look over, a bit of a smile from a distance. Lewis goes for a secondary blow. However, Thed manages to push off his smaller halfling form, able to dexterously dodge out of the way. He's gotten one eye partially open. The other one is just watering thick, and he kind of waits and paces himself for a moment. Lewis, however, follows up behind it very, very quickly and goes for her knee straight to Thed's face. Crack! It slams in, and as he backs up, you can see the noses like permanently push to one side, and blood is just pouring down the front of his face.

He has a hand up. It looks like you can't tell if he's trying to say he's going to stop or if he's just trying to defend, and there are no... There's someone looking over this bout to stop it if it happens. I'm going to turn to Mollymok and just say, I got three gold on Fed. Seems a little late. for a wager at this point. Just you and me.

Fair, I'm in. All right. As Lewis comes in to try and finish off what he's already started, Fed waits the final moment and then ducks down below, gets underneath and between the legs of Lewis, and lifts, throwing them up, like ass over tea kettle, till he slams onto the back of the ground. He turns around, wiping the other eye out of the way,

pulls his leg up and attempts to stomp down into Lewis's neck. and connects. Immediately it was a cl-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h, and he's just holding him in the ground and jamming and grinding his heel into his throat. Everyone's shouting, yeah, get up, get him! Can I get him! Did he! Stop this? Why would you? Lewis is desperately trying to pull the boot of that up off of his throat, but Thed's able to keep it down as he's pushing and pushing. He spits blood right in the face of Lewis, like on one of his eyes.

He's laughing. At this point, you watch as the consciousness of Lewis begin to fade, the eyes roll back, and then eventually, as the rest of his body goes limp, they pull that off and they cheer and lift him up and carry him off. They go ahead and pull Lewis up into a chair and start slapping him and pouring water in his face. He comes to consciousness and kind of spits out a tooth. And then the crowd's energy begins to die down a bit and they drag him to separate sides of the room and people begin to go about their business, getting another drink at the bar. That was amazing. Does that happen often in here? It's the fury of the small.

That was awesome. Fight me! Okay! Do you want to do it? As you're doing that, some of the crowd that began to disperse suddenly turns and starts tapping each other. What are the rules? Just hit each other! Okay!

Ah, God! Okay! Round one. So, as you both charge into the center, starting seemingly with no purpose other than the necessary adrenaline to kickstart the rest of your evening. It's not like it hasn't kind of happened before. I need you both to roll initiative. Yes! Holy shit.

I cast haste on Beauregard. Oh, you piece of shit! Oh! What is that? What is that? 22. Do I get to roll twice? You roll initiative.

Okay, I did. 17. Okay, but, hold on, let me check. It's licorice. I just need licorice. Did I notice him casting haste? I didn't try to hide it. Okay.

Okay. Saving throws, not ability checks. So yeah, so you don't get advantage on your initiative. Okay, 17. 17. All right, so you feel this sudden, strange surge of adrenaline and energy Time around he seems to slow ever so slightly as you watch Jester start rushing in to swing towards you Faster than you expect though. What are you doing? I'm gonna punch her in the face and cast inflict wounds

Oh jeez Oh, what? You just got this At first level? I thought we were having funnies I could do it at third, but I'm doing it that first Okay, so it's a relatively soft punch because you're using it as a delivery method for the spell So it doesn't do any actual punch damage however you do have to roll to see if you can So make amelie spell attack. Holy fuck.

Oh, that hurts. All right. So go ahead and roll damage. Oh no. I believe that's 3D10 necrotic? Three D-10, I think so. Oh, God. Her face in your face.

That's like 5D10. Yeah. What's the thumb wrestle and you shoot him in the head? Like what? 17. Oh, like that ball. So you watch as, as your energy suddenly is still within your body, your vision goes wide, all the colors come into focus.

And as soon as you look up to see Jester, to distract yourself from the sudden sensation you've never experienced before, the one thing you see is this fist connected to your chest. And you all watch as a series of blood vessels in the sides of Beauregard's face and neck, suddenly just burst and splash blood in different directions. You see white for a second.

Your body is wracked with pain, and you recoil briefly from the sudden shock to your system. system. With this flash of action, I mask my voice and go, I've got five gold on the horny one. The fuck, jester! All right, it's your turn. I do some like, it man, da-da-da-da-da-da-da, like all the way down her spine. Right in the fucking ribs.

Yeah, I'm going for that. All right, so you got two attacks now. Caleb is stressed chewing on the licorice route that he used to cast the spell. You don't have your shields in this because you're fist fighting. So your AC is technically too lower. Oh shit. Okay, the first one definitely hits with a 20. The second one is a, oh God, 15?

No, it doesn't it. Okay, how do it, and then I am going to spend a key to do a studying strike. What's your AC normal? That's what you're doing too? Normally 18. Yeah. Just cracking it out. Okay, hang on.

Stunning strike, as in one key, don't know. In one key, do I have to, hang on, sorry, sorry. So you roll damage. And then do I do- And then she has to make a saving throw. Okay. I believe it's a Constitution saving throw. That's not great damage.

Seven damage. Seven points of bludginging damage. As she begins to just pummel you repeatedly across the front of the face, down into the side of the torso. And I need to go ahead and roll a Constitution saving throw, please, Jester. Oh God. Oh, God. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. You guys are fucking each other up. I am like, no, six. Oh, no. Okay, as she continues down your torso, there's a one portion of the back of your armor where your spine is exposed beyond just the clothing you're wearing,

and after she finishes the round, she uses the momentum, and just strikes straight into where the base of the spine where the nerve would divide down into the pelvis, and at that moment your entire body locks up all your muscles all spasm at once, and you are stunned. and you are stunned. And I have another attack action because of haste. I think I booped myself on my own.

I walk over to the other side of the crowd and go, I got 10 gold on the one with the bandages. Try to whip up a betting frenzy. It's just me against you. Now the haste doesn't give you a fourth attack, because what haste is it gives you a... An extra attack action. An extra attack action, yeah.

So you have the bonus action, so yeah. So you have your attack with your staff if you want to, whatever your main attack. and then you still have your bonus action. And then I still have my bonus action. Because the stunning strike didn't use my bonus action, right? Correct.

Okay, so I still have, that's not great. That misses. I rolled a natural four, but then I still have... Well, hold on, she is stunned. Oh, right, she's stunned. So attack rolls against that advantage, so you roll again. That's a natural one. All right, so this hit, you do hold back and bang! Hit the armor, unfortunately, and your fingers kind of snap back a bit,

and you feel the numbness from the impact. Oh, I didn't. You keep your shield in your ass. Yeah. Ow! And then I have one more bonus action, right? Mm-hmm. Okay, that's good. That's good.

That's eight, uh, 19 to hit. That hit, sorry, go and roll damage. Uh, six. Six, already. So that's six bludging damage to you. So as Bo recoils from this and steadies herself for the next round, Jester, you are unable to make. move. You can, you're sluggishly trying to get your joints to function again. You try and speak and it comes out in a like a stuttering phrase that fades away. Your tongue not listening to your impact.

Blu-bye. Right, right. Burt. Drawing that sci-hirt nerve. It's right and it hurts. Too close to home. Hit that practice dummy. So that ends your turn. Dr. Bo.

I'm gonna just do. You know what's done. Once I get take my staff and I'm going to just do. just gut striker right in the stomach, the first attack. Okay, go for it. Yeah, it's a natural 18. I don't do, let me double check and see when the actual stun wears off. Oh, and I'll take five. Five gold, I've got jest.

Why are you using the real name? So you still have advantage on attacks against her. I see you. Okay, now I'll take that 18. That first strike is 12 damage, worth of my staff. 12 points of bludgeoning of damage. Staff slams right into your clavicle shoulder area, almost knocking you off your feet. Phrush!

And then, how did I'm supposed to state Florea blows as my bonus, right? Correct, that's- Yes. But I get one more attack and then I can do Flurry Blows. I'm going to use my reaction because I'm not stunned. To use hellishra but you got on you. Technically, you're still stunned until the end of her turn. Fuck! Is what Jester thought.

Are you at second attack? Okay. 18? 18 hits. Is that a hasted one? This is, no, this is just my, still my regular attacks. All righty, so this is the second strike with the staff. After one knocking her back from the shoulder blow.

I'm gonna do six damage, crack just right in her gut. All right. Knock the wind out of her. The wind gets knocked out of you from a sudden blow to your stomach area. And I'm gonna do flurry of blows. Oh, no! Oh, no! Blood curse of the eyeless, full strength.

All right, go ahead and take your damage. I do. So your attacks now. All of a sudden your vision goes black. For whatever reason, where these all the brief bursts of the veins from the first strike from Jester, you now watch as bits of crimson making to pour out of the corners of Bow's mouth as her eyes go over black. So you don't have advantage. You just have a straight roll for your attacks. Okay, first one.

14. Nope. Second one? No, even worse. Not for 4. All right. So. So, yeah. Eventually your vision comes back, but your knuckles hurt from the fact that you just punch twice in the thickest parts of her breastplate. And I have one more attack action, right? Because the haste? Because the haste.

And that one does, that one has advantage. That one has advantage. 14, 20 total. That hits, go to the girl damage. No 12 damage. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's pretty good though. That's pretty good though.

Jester got one good opening blow. And then- And then Caleb fucked me. I mean, partially. But you also chose a fist fight against a monk, which is a rough scenario. Fight club! The whole crowd goes... Yeah!

You're leaving me. Sorry, Jester. Oh, wait. Oh, I thought you were going to Ford. I'm sorry. No, I'm just being my same awkward self. It's fine. On the eyes, she's our healer, so...

Oh, shit. Can someone... Oh my God. She's dying right now? You watch as one of the patrons in the bar comes up with a small jug of water and just kind of shposh throws it in her face. Whoa! Is you okay?

She's at one hit point. That was seriously awesome! That's so awesome! Dude, what did you do? That was crazy. I would have done it worse, but I thought we were taking it easy on it. easy on each other and then you went crazy on me. I kind of got a little bloodlusty after that. I got her back completely.

What is the gentleman doing around this? How good you were hitting so much though? Because usually you don't have that much speedy. I don't really know. Do I know that he acays on me when I be aware of that? Not at the moment, no. There's just this, and you're still affected by it.

I don't know. Maybe it was a relapse of those mushrooms that Molly and I did. I don't know. That was a while ago. I'll cook up. I don't know. This is great.

I don't know. I feel really good about my. I don't know. I'm gonna stay up right now. About this point in the conversation, the adrenaline leaves your body, and you almost keel over. You become suddenly super lethargic and exhausted.

Oh, God. Definitely the mushrooms. Ooh. We're gonna take a nap after the train. No, we're walking out of the city. No. Fuck. I sent Fronkin over to start lapping the blood off of Jester's face.

Oh, hi, Frumpkin. You're a little evil creature that drinks blood. The crowd begins to go back to their scenario. Some seem confused by the display of joyous hugging afterwards. Some seem to be down with it or like, yeah, this is what it's about. I kind of take my canteen and clean jester up and try and help her out because now that the eternal ends wear and off feeling a little guilty. Perfect.

No, it's totally fine. I did it to myself. Sitting on one of the table edges you see Deweese, the little like creepy gnome you've met earlier, he's like, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't like him. That was creepy. At this point, a familiar voice kicks up from the back corner. Friends come, sit. And thank you for such a fine display of sportsmanship. Yeah, it's us, always, uh, always down for a scrap.

Apparently, the gentleman now sits there, his, uh, comfortable attire today comes in like a billowing linen, kind of a, uh, a, a dark navy blue shirt. It kind of frills at the wrists. You can see his rings and jewelry available as his fingers are kind of crossed and partially steepled in front of him. Not stapled to him, it's a whole different thing.

Oh, God! I'm going to use his time talking to him as a short rest. That's an hour. That's an hour. Well, hopefully. So we spend an hour here and you'll be fine. Yeah, okay. This is, so,

so, thank you for coming so quickly. Of course, it didn't seem like our options above ground were all that plentiful. We were more than anxious to hear what you might offer. Rather tenuous times these are, wouldn't you say? Word is the breach of the Ashgard Garrison was a massacre, and now the skies there hang dark with ill magic. I'm glad that's hundreds of miles from here, though. Now with the bulk of the military moving east and the crown's guard stretched thin we should begin bolstering our plots yes oh what does that mean well a distract greetings adventurers spring has sprung here in los angeles and that means it's a brief

period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees i'll take it and that means i've been outside a lot more walking around occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes traveling a bit, you know the vibe. And after doing some spring cleaning, my wardrobe, I gotta say it, looking a little bit sad. I want clothes that can keep up with me and my son, but updating my wardrobe every spring sounds pretty expensive. So that's why I wound up signing up for Fabletics as a VIP. It let me overhaul my springtime outfits without obliterating my bank account. New VIPs unlock major savings on that first purchase, so trying new fits feels way more doable. When I

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I assume it doesn't mean over throwing it, more manipulating it to your individual game. Oh, I have no interest in political endeavors. Just the more confused they are, the better for business. Yes. So, I have a few possible jobs here if you're interested. And I don't mean to act so quickly, but word comes to me that you had been summoned

to the King's Hall, and I would hate to think I missed the opportunity to get more work under your wing before losing you to some unfortunate state-based constrictions. So, first order of business, should you be interested? He leans forward and kind of sets his glass a little further from the edge. His voice hushes a bit as he leans in. I have some friends to the north whom I have been needing to reconnect with. Allies who would be very profitable partners in these times.

I'm rather strapped for attention at the moment, and I have a hard time trusting some of these other louts with detailed missions. Anyway, if you've any interest. Fucking Lewis. Indeed. You glance back over your shoulder and you see Lewis at the bar who's just like still dazed and drinking a giant cup of ale and just wiping his, whipping the blood off the front of his whole torso. If you've interest in making coin, doing some interesting work and getting to see most of our beautiful imperial countryside, I can go on.

Yeah, who are these friends of yours up north? An old friend of mine named Ophelia Mardun. She has a base of operations about 350 miles northeast of here. Past Nugvarat in the Quana Breach on the outskirts of a shady creek run. I'm sure you've heard of it. Yes, we have, actually. Sovereign town outside of the Dundalian Empire and outside of the law that uses the Savalierwood to keep the crown at bay.

Spoken of as a haven for criminals, thieves, murderers. But really, it's a home to the truly free entrepreneurs of Wildmount. At the end, criminals, thieves, and murderers. Now, Ophelia's unable to enact on any partnerships at the moment, as her current business is tangled up in some of the local riffraff, and she's requested aid in stabilizing her situation. What I propose, as you've already proven yourselves, effective problem solvers, self-starters, with enough sense of honor to see a deal through, is for you all to travel northward past the

Silver Quell Ridge to Shady Creek Run to parlay with Ophelia, help her in absolving her from her current mire of complications, and return with her here to Zedash. For this task completed, I offer an advance of 500 gold pieces and a purse of 4,500 gold pieces upon returning with Miss Mardoon within the month. Question. Yes. Will she come willingly? She will, once you manage to free her from her predicament.

Yeah. Oh. Complications, predicament. Do you have any more specifics than that, by it? I do not. That is the intent and the language she used when last we had correspondence. I think the nature of her business, much like ours, is meant to be on an absolutely necessary basis only.

I'm sure once you speak to her, you'll have better information on that. A tantalizing offer. You said you had others? I do. If this seems to be beyond your depth, I'd hate to see the coin go to someone else by to understand. No, we're just interested in more of a buffet here today. Understood. That on-ground tunnel that you've already visited, well, It happens to be a major artery for our smuggling business, leading straight up to the Labenda Swamp.

The Labenda Swamp is a useful place to lose things, or people, until you need to find them, as well as a direct route to my contacts and Berylben. We've been rather worried that no shipments have made their way south by the river in weeks. After sending your friend up to Berylbin last week, it was discovered that our safe house and storage facility the swamp has gone dark. One of my men, as well as a handful of theirs in Berylben, went

to investigate and have returned. Now the swamp folk are a superstitious lot, an unfortunate facet of working with them. Like swamp creatures? And the like, I'm sure of it. My contacts in town are refusing to investigate, recounting howls from the deep swamp. I would need you to head up to Berylben. Locate a fellow named for Braun Keys. Usually hangs around the keystone pub and the puddles. The puddles is

the part of the town that is sinking. He's my point, man, for shipments, and the only one who knows where our safe house in the swamp is that hasn't gone fucking missing. Meet with him. Secure the safe house in its contents. And return to me, consider a 250 gold piece advance and a purse of 1,750 gold pieces upon completion.

Heck? If you can handle both. And with timely mind, there might be a bonus. As a sidebar, should we be worried about our friend that we sent north to that area? Yeah, where's horse? Oh, he's in Berroben. He should be fine.

This is all based in the swamp. Leading to Berlben. Could you describe your friend, Vabron? Fibron Keys. Thabron Keys. Theron Keys. He's memorable.

based by his fairly imminent lack of teeth, his one wandering left eye, a bit of a skin condition. No grill, busted eye, you can. But he's good at the work he does. What work is that? Keeping his mouth shut and knowing where the secrets are and not giving those secrets up.

He's been pressed for it a few times and has proven to be trustworthy, and I admire that. And would we have the same sort of timetable for this mention a month? The sooner the better, as the longer these shipments continue to elude us, the more money we're losing. Like I said, timely manner, it may be a bonus. Anything else?

Those are the two at the moment. If those don't tickle your fancy, I'm sure we can have maybe another, Opportunity in the next week or two. I just would hate to see these go to less qualified individuals. Well, perhaps we'll protect us some beverages and discuss. Of course. One more thing, though.

Our other offer was for 10,000 gold. Seems like maybe you could match that just to make it a little bit more equal. You mistake this business as some sort of a push for, inherently equal pay, my friend. I don't know what business the Crown wishes to offer you, but I can guarantee you it has a ceiling. Okay, well, the other side of that was that we would kind of get access to some like potions and supplies and stuff is something you can provide to us when we go on missions for you?

Make a persuasion check. Little 20. I'm a little blood from my mouth. Super enduring with that black eye. We're kind of like leaning on one leg a little bit, unintentionally leaning in. Your own busted eyes kind of wandering. Teton of the vex.

I'm sure we could provide a few supplies. Remember, we try not to dip into our own contraband, but, We could assume that we could provide some things, yes. Does that contraband include high-quality paper and ink? We can provide paper and ink, sure. You know what contraband means, right? High-quality paper and ink. We'll learn them. That's all right.

Okay. Give us some time to discuss, and we'll get back to you shortly. Of course, of course. Well, drink, be merry. You know where to find me. Is there an open booth or a booth? The darkest. Yeah, the darkest corner. Or like a bumper pool table that we can all?

There is that, yeah. It's more like a shuffle puck kind of thing with the sand on the side. Just a Pac-Man table? Yeah. The darkest table is the one that's tucked right inside the spiral staircase where you enter. Which normally has somebody sitting there,

but at the moment it looks like they're in the process is getting a drink. So if you swipe it now, you'll probably piss somebody off, but you'll get the table. I pull the full Riker hop over the chair. All right. As you guys approach, you can see the same kind of muscular, thuggish individual with the kind of skin-worn, tan, skin, and the thick braces around his rough and tumble exterior, begins

to approach with a large, fully filled flag and a veil who stops to you're sitting there and kind of grumbles to himself and finds another seat. But you are as private as you can be in this relatively not private space, you have a table. Well, what do you think? I think it sounds like fun. I agree. Well, I mean, Molly, you've been talking about getting out of town. And it is out of town.

It gets us out of town. It's almost perfectly out of town. I've always wanted to go to Deadwood. And we've already... Yeah. How awesome does that place sound? Shady Grove. Which one?

The Shady Swamp? Shady Creek. No, Shady Creek. Yeah. Well, that would be probably the second one, right? Yeah. I am feeling greedy. How do you feel about it, Yasha?

I am, I long for the ride. Yeah, no preference. I mean, I'm up for all of it, you know, whatever you guys decide. Any preference to water versus perhaps an abundance of it? an abundance of dry ground. Versus both. Well, I mean, we're all leaning more towards this than going to the Menagerie coast for the Empire, right?

Yeah. Yeah, it does sound like fun. I don't like contracts. We already gave our blood to this guy. We're already in. We're already in. That's his contract as a contract gets. Exactly. Plus, if this is as aggressive as they say it is,

an attack on the border, I'm sure that Legionaire's job will be there when we return anyway. price might have increased. It seems like the Empire just has enough money to just throw it problems. I don't think that's gonna change. Better to bet on the underbelly rising up than the top maintaining what it has.

Also this way gets us to go straight through Hupperduk. What? It does. We can stop by Hupperduk! I'm just saying. Remind me what's in Hupperdukes? It's just a funny name. It's like a cool name for a town.

That all of the buildings look like mushrooms. They've got a wax museum, largest ball of twine. Yes. Hupperduk. The Branson of Wild Mountain. The Branson of Wild Mountain. I hope it is. Definitely stopping in Hupperduke.

They've got a soft serve place there. It's really great. So we're going to take that shady underground river out. Yes, we have to be careful of those monsters that came out of the... We know those monsters now. I just, I took care of all those traps. Could you someone remind me, because when the gentleman looks at me, I get a little bit, you know, flippity flea.

The swamp mission. You have a cry you crushing on it? No, he's just, like the sweat thing bothers me. Is that sweat? I think it's sweat. I think he's, I'm going to peek around and look at the gentleman. Okay, he's back at the far table. He's currently drinking, and it looks like he has

a small book of some kind of these kind of thumbing through. Is he moist? Make a perception check. Are you? How many of us are uncomfortable here we're going to wear? Eight. In this low light, it's hard to see. But when you were speaking to him earlier,

there was a layer of general moisture across his face. What kind of shirt is he wearing? The shirt he was wearing now is kind of like a navy blue linen kind of billowy shirt, kind of open in the chest a bit. You can see a bit of his chest hair and kind of filled with the sleeves. See, the thing is, if he's a little. If he were sweaty, then why would he be wearing long sleeves? To hide all the sweat stains on his undershirt?

I don't know. It's just weird, right? Like he's always sweating. He doesn't look like he's warm, though. Normally when people are sweaty, they're kind of like this. That's true. You know? Yes.

Anyway, I missed the whole part about the swamp. What's that mission again? What do we have to do? We go in, we try to find Fabron keys and secure the safe house. in the swamp and there's howling there, so probably wolves or something. But wait, find the safe house and do what to it? Secure it and then come back and tell him where it is. Secure it?

Yeah, it's gone dark, right? So I either remove whatever's in there and get it back up and running. And hey DM, knowing the empire, how direct a route is it from Fabron Key's area, barrel bend to Shady Creek Run? You have a map for that. There's a map for you. Straight shot. Plus, if we do this.

We have to go around some mountains, right? If we do this. We have to go on the side. Oh, yeah, tough the air. Yeah, so we need to go to the barrel, or we need to go to the swamp, come back here, and then go. Yeah, but I want the good one.

We want the good one. Matt has a dot matrix printer. Pryor. I know, right? No, right? We should have it. I had it. Harold Ben.

Hopperduke is over here. Yes, it is. Where are we? Do you think, Jessie, do you think people who live in Hupperduke are called Dukies? Huppers. Huppers? Huppers. The Benda Swamp?

Is it what it is? Labenda Swamp. I think we should call them Dukes. She called them Dukies for sure. And Shady Creek Run was in what area again, did you say? The Quanta Breach. Northeach. of Nugvarat.

Oh, God. North-east of what? Quana breach, there it is. So we're very close to Berylben and then it seems like quite a stray. A trek. So we'll have to go here, cut back, and then go again. Also, if we're going to go through Beryl-Bin anyway, we might as well check in on Horace. Yeah.

To make sure he's like alive? What are we going to do if he's not? Yeah. Not tell anyone. Exactly. So wouldn't it be better if we just don't know? Shrondgers Horace? Yeah, we kind of held up our part of the bargain. All right, all right. If I may, I'm out. We're going to be really close to your old, you know, place where you live. May I see them up? Yes.

No house is off. It's so quick. Well, you're going up and... You're going up. Jorhaz isn't just here. Jorhaz goes all the way up here. It's pretty big, but I mean, I'm from the south anyway, so. Actually, northward is not Jorhast, I think. Oh, see?

The graying wild lands aren't. Yes, the graying wild lands. Oh. Oh, that's over here. If there is a chance to look in on Horace, if it is in here. The swamp is like around here. You know, if it's put right in front of us. No, no, no, no.

Baroban is where the swamp believes. I just don't want to go out of our way looking for them and then all of a sudden have the guilt of, you know. That's true. I hate guilt. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like our efforts here in the city. I think we've done good. Yeah. Hard to keep track of parties outside of our purview. I'm Ovisadesh. Yeah, just over, huh? Plus it'll give us time to lead. Maybe things will change by the time they come back. Or maybe not. We'll see.

We'll see. Never know what happens outside. So we're gonna take them off, up on both of his offers, I think. Frankly, I am a little more comfortable on the overall anyway. Oh really? Yeah. Okay. Let's do it.

Let's do it. Let's do it, yeah. We'll pound our drinks. Keep them away from Bo, because she'll drink all of them. I just want to make sure we're here for a full hour, though. I'm going to drink slowly. I can use a little... Go to sip it.

All right. The exhaustion point lasts until you take a long rest. So you don't get an exhaustion point. You just become stunned for a round. For a round. No. The haste? Yeah.

It's just a pain in the ass in combat, not in out of combat. Oh, once it wears off. I thought you got exhaustion after haste. No. It just stuns you for a round. Oh, okay. Which in combat is really bad. That's what they were.

Okay. So we'll leave Molly and Jess here to nurse their drinks and their drinks and they're short rest and we'll go back up and speak to the gentleman. No? Yes, yes, of course. I'll come with you, Ford. Yeah, yeah, anybody that's not nursing a short rest. I'm nursing a short rest. Oh, we'll win. Yeah, I always have a lot to say to the tent. Yeah. Am I going to be able to hill now, what? For going down, downriver. Well, I suppose it's going to be... I just use the one way to spell.

You're right. Your hip-point. Oh, that's well, your hip-point, sir. I was saying. Is Sorad, the female Goliath? Oh, Sorah. Sorah. Is she present in the tavern at the moment? She is. She's not right by the gentleman.

She's actually sitting at the table, or sitting at the bar about 15 feet away from him, but she's always in his direction. She's perpetually hawking his presence and ensuring that nobody tries anything funny and she can get there quickly if she needs to. Nice. That will approach. All right. He's in the process of thumbing through this small book. He's finishing a sip from his goblet and watches you purchase. Ah, that was quicker than I anticipated. Indeed, we have good news. We have decided to take you up on your offer. Which one? The Labenda Swamp.

All of it. The Labenda Swamp is what we've decided to take you up on. Very well. Yes. And you are not choosing the Shady Creek run. Will you be reassigning it? very quickly if we don't take it? I needed to be taken care of, so if you won't do it,

I'll find somebody else who can. Hmm. That's the good one. Time is of the essence here. Oh, I thought we were doing the beginner's course. And then the other one. We'll say you're doing both. We're doing both. We hope we could do both.

Can we do both? You can indeed. If you do both, I'll be happy to reward you with something nice at the end of it, because that's quite a feat. Apparently our ambition has no limit. Both it is. Very well.

Well, I'm happy to know that we're doing business together once more. I would recommend if you're heading to Baroben in the LeBendous Swamp to take the Bromkillen byway. We do have the river, but one, you have quite a number of individuals that aren't the most quiet. and there are certain things that exist throughout that 70-ish mile journey you would be taking underground. That's a lot? By water or also one foot? Either way, it's still 70 miles to barrel bin.

So that's a long journey to take underground if you are... Not quiet and it conspicuous. Our smuggling run usually goes in groups of two to three at most to keep it quick. quick and unseen. When you say underground, are you speaking metaphorically, or do you literally have a way underground to get there? You've already been there. The river goes that far?

Yes. The passage that we were in. Yeah, we took that for like an hour, not 70 miles. Which is why I'm saying, if you choose to otherwise, that's up to you. But I would recommend taking above ground on the Bromkiln byway. It's a well-carried road, it sees a lot of foot traffic, It shouldn't be that dangerous, and it's nearly a straight shot to the swamp. Brongfield, by way. It sounds like it's going to be no sweat.

I certainly know. We'll just stay high and dry. What would we have to be wary of in the river? Whatever decides to take up residence down there. Do we still have a cart and the two horses? Of course we have the cart and the two horses. We have the cart at least. We have the cart.

You have like five horses. We have horses for days. Crop of shooter, WC. Toilet. Toilet. Toilet. John. I wrote them down. You know, we're unfortunately a little short on transportation. We could use a few horses.

Well, let's see as how you're accepting both. That would put you in the business of acquiring the advance from both. So that would be... Duiz. Please retrieve the advances. 7.50. And there's a brief break before you hear the family. familiar chuckling, and three large sacks are put up onto the table.

Tynch-ch-ch-ch-ch! 750 goal, the advances for both missions. Outstanding. Now, now... For splitting it up. Yeah, Jester did have an excellent question. We'll need certain remedies, especially near the water. Anything that you can provide that might put us in an advantageous position would be most appreciated.

Dweese, gather what we can spare from the supply. cabinet, please. And he wanders off for a moment and comes back with what looks to be two small kind of over-the-shoulder satchels. He sets them on the table, he opens the little lids for them and kind of pushes them forward and you watch as one of them kind of falls forward and kind of clattering out a few inches or so some vials in there. The one on the right should be able to tend to any wounds you sustain along the journey. The one on the left can probably age you should you find yourself pricked with some terrible disease.

Disease and poison. Disease and poison. Unfortunately, we have not that. One of each. Two vials and one of healing. They're technically both of greater healing. Another one is cure disease. Paper and ink. We can provide you with paper and ink, should you be so interested.

Duiz? You can't buy it up on a paper and ink? I used it. You've used it all? I used it. You know what is also as valuable as resources as knowledge? In this swamp area, are there any particular hazards that we should keep an eye out for that you're men have seen? Repetatively.

None that I've really cared to remember. That would be probably more of a question to my ally there. ally there if you don't mind. Speak with Favron. He's very familiar with the area and can probably give you the information you seek. I wouldn't presume to be as lucky as to have Lewis have tried this mission before and fucked it up as well, has he? No, I would not ensure such a mission to him. Yeah. Very much. And he glances past you in the far corner and you can see him now like leaning over the bar, probably two full cups in, starting to get a little daze on the stool.

Fuck you. His hand just kind of does this. Yeah, he's a winner. You will get 107 gold. Well, anything else you require? No, no, this is really wet our appetite. Swamp, bud. Sure.

I just can't stop staring in his face. It's soaking wet. Sorry. Ask him what you do it. Anyway, if our business is complete, I appreciate your patronage. I look forward to our continued partnership and I wish you all the luck. Thank you. Don't sweat the small stuff. It's all faster. Oh shit. Keelew hangs back up by himself and says, um

paper and paper and ink. Duiz comes up from behind a moment later with a stack of regular parchment and ink. He hands it over here. It does not look like it would be the necessary enchanted or prepared inks that you could use to scribe spells per se, but it's parchment and ink. Yeah, don't go. Okay. This is very exciting. Two missions at once. Well, one and then, oh, I run back to the gentleman. Should we come back here after the first part or should we just continue on and take care of them both and then come

tell you? That's up to you. I can't pay you unless you come back, but if you complete them both and do so in a meaningful time, I'll be happy to pay you when you return from both. Just send a word, if you could, upon clearing our same lines. We did it timely and we can get that bonus part. Precisely. All right. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. I was going to leave a handkerchief just in case. Oh my God. He just glares at you, glowering at not as you all step away from his corner of the chamber. Well, it's still a really good time in the day. We should go ahead and make preparations. preparations.

We're going to way back up. We're already ready to leave at a moment's notice. Yeah, we already packed our rooms up. There's nothing at Pumats anymore. No, we didn't. You've almost cleared out. Between you and other patrons in the recent weeks, they've cleared them out again. It's not an endless emporium.

As we passed that big ogre on the way out, I say, Kuta, keep it real, all right. As you do it, again, turns around and a hand slaps on to your shoulder, kind of the finger and thumb of it go from like the front of your chest to your small back as it grapples you and spins you around and goes, and then just releases you. As I leave, I flick the wand of smiles of him again. I can't get you break. Four.

As he pulls, as he peels his large mitt off of Ford's body in grunts, he turns the rest of the chamber. Here it is. Like the burning of a... Oh! It starts like pulling at his jaw. It's almost like getting a Charlie horse where he can't stop the muscles and he tries to stop it. Oh, what? I don't want to smile.

Now I feel guilty. You probably deserved it. So you guys ascend the stairs back into the main front of the evening nip, and the rest of the city afternoon is yours. What would you like to do? I can just head over to the cart and horses. Should we just get ahead start for? Yeah. I am going to run over to Pumontz to buy some paper on the paper on the table.

More? I'm gone. Okay. I joined Caleb because I went pee last time when you guys went to go for once. Okay. Okay, there's nothing there. It's blared down. Well, there's some things, but you can find the kill him if you want.

Oh, shit, there are four more! Massacre in downtown Zadash this afternoon. As you run off and say, me to save the cart and horses. All right. Super fast. All right, so as you guys charge over to the pentamarket, you make your way to the exterior, the invulnerable vagrant. Stepping inside, there is a rather chill, customerless interior as two of the regular Pumats sit at the front and as you step into the chamber.

Oh, you're back so soon. I figured you had completed all your intended means of purchasing. Yeah, this is a quick stop. I don't want to take up too much of your time, and we don't have much. We have a busy day planned, but I was wondering if you had perhaps maybe a hundred golds worth more

of that good paper and ink that you've supplied me with already. I can go ahead and look. You're starting to really diminish our stockpile. Oh, yeah, I am sorry. Also, if you have, I am in need of maybe 20 to 30 gold's worth of fine incense if you have that as well. That I'm pretty sure we can supply, is that right?

You're checking the back? I know I was there yesterday. We got plenty of incense. Don't worry, we got you covered. It comes back. and with two sacks of very, very strong, almost pungent smelling incense that when burning has a more pleasant scent, but these have been treated specifically for rituals and various arcane means. So you get 30 gold worth of incense your disposal and the hundred gold worth

of enchanted inks and scribing materials in paper that you can utilize to make those notes and transition it into a spellbook. Is there anything that you wanted to purchase for me? A little birdie told me there might be bracers here. That's one of the few items we have left. Yeah, it's a little embarrassing. I mean, we've all been talking about it.

It's really embarrassing. It's hard to have a shop without a... Bracer. Oh, yeah. Right over here. Yeah, on target. goes and pulls one of the boxes, one of the shelves, has a glass top, and he kind of presents it to you.

And there's like a velvet interior with two little alcoves inside where these very beautiful looking silver-type bracers with scrolling and runic sigils carved into it across the band present. These would make a better defensive capability for someone who does not themselves partake in the use of armor.

Oh. I don't partake in the use of armor. That, uh, that, well, that sounds like it's meant to be. Uh, how much? 1,200 gold pieces. Holy shit, Pumont. Play cool. The fuck.

What? I'll come back when I'm fucking rich, I. Okay, they'll be here waiting for you. All right. Holy shit, Pumontz. Holy shit Pumots. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you.

You want to have 1,200 gold. How do you have to fly around? I don't want to know how much I have. I apologize. Didn't mean to send you into an existential financial crisis, but it's a really powerful enchantment. I'm always in an existential crisis. I'm gonna go now.

Fair enough. Okay, well Pumat Prime worked very hard on those. When you come back to get them, I think you'll be very happy with the amount that you've spent to keep yourself alive. We are very appreciative, and I don't know. and I don't know if you have already, but you should look into some sort of membership card or frequent customer.

Stant punch. Yeah. I'll go ahead and bring it up with the big guy himself. Ten visits. Nine potions, the tenth one's free. Fantastic. A thousand gold's worth of paper and the 11th ream is free.

We'll go now. Yeah, okay, thank you. We go very quickly. We go. Bolt over to the cart. You guys think is making way to the cart. You know that little boost you had back there in your fist fight with the blue one?

You are welcome. Did you fucking slip something in my drink, Caleb? What the fuck, man. That was a spell. Dude, that shoe was awesome. Yeah, I was into it. You scratch my back, I will scratch yours. All right.

The others are impatient. Let's go. The rest of you, as you gather the carts and the horses you have at your disposal, you've prepared yourself for exit from the town. Eventually, Caleb and Beauregard catch up to the rest of you. What would like to do? Who's riding on the cart first?

I don't need to. I don't feel weird. I'm just gonna walk. You have horses, you can ride the horse. Yeah, we've got like five horses in a cart, and two horses pulling the cart, or two and three solos? It was good to be a lookout while the others. Do four horses, horses pulling the card and two, so low?

Two horses pulling the card. We have five. We have six horses. We have six horses. Yes. Yes, don't. Only five of them have names. We never came up with a name for the sixth horse.

I'll drive the cart. Loaf. How about loaf? Loaf is a good name. So we have W.C. Lou, John Crapper, Toilet, and Loaf. Okay. Okay. So two horses pull on the cart and four solos. Chester says she's riding the cart.

I drive the cart. Who else wants to be on the cart? I want to be on the cart. I would as well. Okay. I'll take water closet. I'll take a loaf. W.C. The name of the horse.

That's right. Sorry. I'll take a horse as well. Okay. Yeah, I'll take a horse. I guess, because you're all in the cart, yeah? Yesha, will you hold this for me? And I put Framken on her shoulder. shoulder and start transcribing. Oh, shoot-killed. Oh, I'm a fucking bitch. Keep that demon cat away from me, El Gatto S. Diablo, all right?

I'll give it my pet. But is it real? I don't understand, because sometimes it proofs, you know? It is a real cat. Well, I'm not trying to make you upset or anything. Just sometimes it goes away and then comes back. I'm confused. Framkin can be here or Frumkin can be there.

and right now he is here. Can I touch him? Of course. He would like you to touch him, yeah. Respectfully. When someone kicks him and he poofs, does he just automatically go to the other place, or does he like die for a little bit to come back?

No, I think it is pretty instantaneous, and honestly, I am so glad to have him, but I think it is probably nice on the other side. Did your mother ever read your stories about the Fay wild and sprites and... Sprites and Blumpkins, and that's not the word. What? My mother never did, but the traveler told me lots of stories.

Of the fair wild? Of everywhere. Oh. This way wild. It's like another city? It is another plane of existence that is a mirror just slightly off of our own, with us, but apart from us at all times. There's fairies, and that's how the unicorns get over here.

One thing at a time. Put in the shoe. He's making a very strange noise right now. What's it sound like? That's what that means he likes you. Do you not have cats where you grew up? No, I heard the cats, but this is... Fronken was one of the first cats.

Did they have dogs? Only rats that they ate. We just have lots of rats. We have many creatures, but... Do you have wolves? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you keep his pets? We didn't really have any.

Do they have pets? No. Oh. But I like him. I tell Framken to Nessel in and he starts doing that thing where they claw their way in when they're getting cozy and it hurts, but it's all so lovable at the same time. Making biscuits? Roll for kitty biscuits. Pure death.

You're getting a epileptic shock. And then I stop talking to everybody and I start transcribing things. All right, well, I guess I'll take the lead and we'll make our way out the city. To the northeast, right? North. To the swamp. To the swamp. To the bronchial byway.

Brom kiln, yeah. All ready. Bromkeal byway. Bromkele. It's the life presses the land. We ruined everything that creates. I just don't know how to spell it. I heard Bronx.

Sometimes you do make them bulletproof and we get mad. Like Lewis. But most of the time. It's right. I enjoy it, and I'm sure every dungeon master out there who watches knows exactly how I feel when it happens. So, as you gather your things up into the cart, the horses begin to push off and you make your way through the city streets of Zadash to the northern wall. You can still see some of the townsfolk coming out and going about their day, but the general kind of air of tension and nervousness still holds court throughout the city streets. There are clusters of Crowns Guard that are

escorting righteous brand to the eastern side. You make your way towards the northern side of the city where the Cignant Wall district begins, where you have the large fortresses where the military stays and the barracks that surround that region, to the large gate that exits the building out into the rest of the Merrow Valley. As you make it through the large raised portcullis, along with a few other folks that are in the process of making their own journey to the north or to the west or to the east.

You step out into the dirt road, into the green blowing fields of the cold breeze that's blowing beneath the graying skies of Wildmount. And you push off. Being here for a while, it seems almost strange, but also welcoming to be back on the open road for a moment. And you glance around and take it deep breath as that clean,

The post-rain air still seems to linger in the vicinity. As you make a sweep on the horizon with the rolling hills and patches of trees, catch your vision off to the far east on the outside of the Signate Wall District you can see. Hundreds, if not thousands of soldiers, all gathered and making their way east in small troops. As here the mainstay source, the bulk of military power. and the center of the empire begins to make its way to war. You see horses, you see siege engines, and large ballista on wheels,

all being carried and prepared for the journey to the borders of Jorhas and behind. With that you pick up and continue northward, making your way along the Amber Road towards where the Bromkiln byway carves off to your destination. First, I want to ask you guys, what pace are you traveling at? You go slow pace if you're trying to be super stealthy.

Normal pace is fine. Fast pace, you go quickly, but you threaten exhaustion if you continue to push that way. I think a regular pace until we get to the bronchial byway. Yeah. Normal-ish. The ember rope, we should be all right. Yeah. Okay. So you're looking at about a 75-mile journey with the cart and the horses.

You're looking at about 30 miles a day. at a normal pace, so you're probably looking at two nights stay on the road before you reach your destination. Okay. Okay. All right. So, you guys push forward and watch as behind you the large looming walls and towers and buildings as a dash that have been your home for weeks. It disappears slowly behind you. And once again, you're kind of embraced by the wilds and open. and open landscapes of the valley.

And take a moment to reflect upon the insanity and craziness of the urban atmosphere and kind of the peace, as well as the unknown that comes with traversing such an open plane. I'd say you have maybe at this point a few hours before sun sets. And right as you hit the intersection between the Amber and the Baumkjolm byway, the sun has set, the sky is dark, the clouds prevent

starlight from coming through, and what moonlight would be visible is choked, giving you only the faint glimmer of what looks to be the moon's location behind the cloud cover. What would you like to do? So it's nighttime now? It is. I bet someone's going to try to jump out at us. Well, we should not let them do that. They do that to people that are on the open road.

Why would you tell me that? Now I'm very scared. Are there any tree clusters or rock clusters or boulders or anything that provides some... At your current location, make a perception check with disadvantage, because it is nighttime. I was going to say, I was hoping to find the same things. Okay. Then either you can both make individual roles or one of you can aid the other. I'll aid you.

All right. So you take advantage on your... No. Oh. You. With advantage. That was a two with that. What did you roll?

Two and a two. Oh. Wow. That's really shit, over. As the night has fallen and you spend in better part of the next hour trying to look for any sort of physical representation of safety or cover, and it is just open rolling hills and field. There might be places where you could stay low and perhaps, you know, keep relatively safe, but nothing that sticks out to you unfortunately. So what do you plan to do? We should probably pull over or something and look around and see if we can.

Just off the road is fine. At this point I'd like to see the road as well. Okay. That way we can see anyone coming. Can I go ahead and maybe light a torch? See if I can maybe start a fire. Okay. Which is a good thing because it gets cold at night out here. Bring any warm clothes? We're going north. We're the worst. It'll only get cold if it's further north you go.

But even at night here, you know, most mornings in Wild Mound, or at least this area of wild mount, all the grass is frosted, the windows are frosted. The few moisture survives the evening without some sort of frozen state. So as the temperature begins to plummet continuously after sunset, you begin to find a place to set up camp for the evening, both takes the torch, ignites it,

and sets a small fire, and you begin to set up a small circle and maintain warmth by taking what bits of, and it's very sparse, vegetation, if you want to check for anything to keep the fire going, roll a, this would be a survival check. Great. Ten. Ten. You managed to get some brush gathered. You're probably not going to be able to keep the fire going all night. I donate the paper that the gentleman gave me. That's a fast burn. Yeah, I have a torch as well. Yeah. I've got a torch. Okay. So I would say if you throw in three torches that'll keep a modicum of the flame going through the night, not the most heat, but it'll be enough to prevent you from dealing with the biting cold as you rest through the night.

I'll throw it to you, Molly. We could camp on top of the cart because we won't be on the ground. It's warmer on there. It's true. Going to the cart next to the fire. All right, who's taking watch? I'm taking the silver thread and making a 20-foot cube around the cart. It's not much, but it's easy to do.

I'll take a worse watch with him. Okay. All right. So, is the rest of you managed to find yourself a sleep the evening. Jester and Ford take the first to watch. Do you wish to take a perception check? Yeah. Which one to use helming? My perception's shit. How's yours? It's not awesome but it's not horrible. It's for this group that's pretty good. Okay. Yeah I'll aid you about that. So. I'll helm. All right. Advantage. I know.

It's better than I've won. 13. Okay. Keeping an eye out there other than a couple of of bits of whistling wind that blow through in segments, you don't pick up anything shifty and your watch comes to a close, that issue. Well, that was an easy watch, then. Yep. Next watch? I'll take second watch.

All right. I'll take second watch as well. Oh. Okay. Perception check, it's disadvantaged. All right. All right. So who's helming perception check on this?

How's your perception? Plus two. Plus two. Plus two. I have plus three. All right. All right. So you're aiding, take.

I'll help you. Technically, technically, it's night. It would be a straight roll. Oh, yeah. I just found about that. No, she's advantaging me. But she's got goggles. But the goggles are only a radius.

This is more of a general awareness. So it's just a single roll. So you're helping or maintain, yeah. Gill. Don't fuck me, Gill, you call it in. I can't. Okay, okay, 14. 14.

Not a true forking. Okay. True forking. Keeping your senses around you and looking about, the watch seems to go through uneventful. Huddled together, you know, for like warmth, body warmth. Sure, but I mean Frumpkin is making me so warm. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm good.

I'm good. I have like a very warm shawl too. But do you want my... No, my robe is good. It's thin, but it's like... but it's like high third count, you know? Okay, it's very good. Well, this is far as I've ever been, you know?

In terms of... Romantically. Just like... You know, and... And here, I mean, I've only been to Jorhaus and Zadash, you know. So, how long since you left? Shorehouse. I grow up there.

That's a better question. Take that one. I did grow up in Shorehouse. Yeah? Yeah. I did grow up there, but I left there. I think it was about... I think it was about eight months ago. Yeah, from what I can remember.

Yeah, from what I can remember. But, yeah, so all of this is still very new. very new, you know, and I like this stuff, grass and things, you know. You appreciate grass? I think so. I mean, it's a much softer ground to sit on, you know, instead of like a marshy, sandy. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Well. What was your favorite part about, Zedash? Zorash. as fuck.

Sure. Haas? I don't know if I had a favorite part. Is it that bad? Well, I mean, it's all I know, but it's probably not the best place to grow up now that I'm seeing everything else, you know? And I think sometimes I wish maybe it was a little different.

Do you still have that like, this is home connection with it, No. No. Yes. I think I will always have that. That's nice. Well...

I hope to see it someday. I don't know if you're going to be that impressed by it, but maybe you will like it. Can see your breath. Well, I wonder, I mean... I wonder if anyone else, I think, is our time up or... I think, is our time up or... Thanks, okay. The war is over and both sides lost.

Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old-school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time. And when that flame dies, something else. to finish the job. This is a brutal rules light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s,

and man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not-so-dark, not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's Detective Agency as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every quill they can fight. It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story, Might be the only thing that can save their lives.

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You got to start somewhere. And with that, your watch comes uneventful. God, it's really cool, right? Right, right. Third and final watch. He's out there, man. Me and Keele, oh, me and Molly, I guess. I'm on third watch.

I'll take third watch. So not in Molly. Who's helming this one? Oh, what's your perception is probably high. You don't know. Yeah, you take it. All right, so advantage on euros. Oh, advantage, yeah.

It's a very, actually it would have been the first one, because it's advantage, but disadvantage because of the night. Is it terrible? 10, okay. Is it disabled? Oh, wow. All right. As you guys get partway through your watch,

kind of conversing, muttering about the recent events, the sun comes up, uneventful. Should have put money on bow. I'm kicking myself for not putting money on bow. Oh, well, you know, if it makes you feel any better, I don't feel any better. I lost money on Jester on the next one. That does actually make me feel better. Thank you. What? You guys? I was at the disaffirmat.

You're not there. You can't hear anything. We're all camping together. You're asleep. Oh, you guys are still in your life. Although that would be what I would imagine Jester to say with me. That was just an impression. Yeah. You guys. It's so crazy. You know. So terrible. Wait, she's like Luigi? I don't know.

I don't know why. It's a crazy. I don't know that crazy guys. Let's go. Oh god. So with that morning comes, whether the necessary heat, the fire of the torch goes out, and right as the frost begins to cause you to shake yourself awake,

the morning comes melting the dew, and you are piped up on your cart and ready for the next length of your journey. Oh, so, so fresh and wonderful. That was the best sleep I have had in a long time. Do you think the gentleman wakes up with frost on his face like his whole body? Probably, unless he like mops himself down. And he has to like crack himself.

Oh, but wait, but wait, think about his sheets. What a disaster, his sheets must be. He has to watch them every night. They're disgusting. They would be so gross. It's like when you get a sunburn and you wake up and they're fucking sticking to you and stuff, you know. Oh, it sucks. You don't do me and you don't know why?

You got to rip them off, just one big one. Do you think we're going to go by your hometown when we're driving up here? No, my hometown is further to the south. It's the opposite direction. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. But, you know, I don't, we didn't, there was no, there was no hometown.

You know, we travel around a lot, that we have an area of operation, sort of. but we never really called one place home. So you're a nomadic. Do you have little huts you put up as camping tents? Yeah, there's tents, and some people just sleep in bags or huddle together, you know, whatever we can find, really. Leaves. Did you like that?

No, it's terrible. Oh, okay. Would you like that? I don't know. I never tried it. No, no, it's not fun at all. You just find whatever piece of cloth you can do and wrap yourself in it and some mud, and that's your bed. It's terrible. Is that why you left?

That and many other things, yes. I mean, it's... I mean, have you ever seen a goblin before? I saw you? Yes. Well, have you seen any others? No. Have you heard stories of them? I could tell you, but I feel like it's a... offensive or something.

I mean, you can tell me I have, there's no love there. Everything you've heard about goblins is true. They're just awful in every way. Well, my mom used to tell me that if you act up too much, the goblins will come in the middle of the night and steal you away. My father too used to tell me that they would steal children, yeah. Yeah.

All right, so that's true. But it doesn't really matter if you're good or bad. We will just come and steal children. if you were a child anyway. Would you eat? Because my mom said you would eat them. Take it easy. We would share with the rest of the clan, but of course we would eat children. Is she telling the truth? Do I feel like she's telling the truth? Excuse me, not. Are you taking the piss right now?

I'm really not. Like, goblins are terrible, terrible creatures. Did you ever eat a little child, nod? With great honesty, I can tell you that I've never eaten a child. Insight check. I've been holding out. If you wish to see if you find the truth, roll an inside check. Nope, natural one. Oh, rolling today.

Kind of hard to read. She's hard to read. She seems honest and forthright in what she's saying. She tasted human flesh. Oh, my God. Listen, the goblins, my clan, I can't speak for other clans, but the goblins that I was with for quite some time, we stole from people. We stole food, we stole money when we could. We stole clothing and provisions. But when times were tough, we would steal the people too. You and your brothers and sisters, or you and your children and her parents? Well, that's, the goblins don't really, I'm sure I have parents.

Oh, but you're not super tight with them. Yeah, once a child is born and they're nursed for a bit, and then it's just sort of communal property, you know, as soon as you can work, they give you a job and you do the job. No favorite brother or sister or playmate or... Do you even know who your brothers and sisters are? Yeah, everyone in the clan, I assume, is related somehow, but... Oh.

Yeah, there was no real family ties. Do you fight any urges when you see like a small child walking through the city to go up and, I don't know, I don't mean any disrespect, but to just snatch it? That sounds a little shithy, Lord. That's definitely a little shitty. Well, like, yeah, you don't see it and you don't get hungry. Yeah, no, I'm being honest, because if I know there's a little kid running around, and if you're fucking tracing the damn thing, I want to know that I can, you know, put a hand out. With all due respect, she is smarter than that.

Caleb, as always is right. I do not have an urge to kill and eat children. Just checking, I haven't met many of the do, so pardon my, you know. I do have cravings for things that I assume you, other... species do not. Like what? Maybe we do. Yeah, like what? Maybe, you know. Rats?

Yeah, well, that I understand. That's a very, very... Cats sometimes. Framing goes back to the favorite. Bacon. I really like bacon. Everyone likes the universal. Not so.

Meat is just in general, meat is pretty good, but no, a human child is a wonderful thing. Why would I want to kill or hurt a human child? Yes, she doesn't want to hurt her baby, No, I'm not bloodthirsty. I just, I get hungry for food sometimes, not for flesh. I just like meat.

I think I still have some pocket bacon. You want some? I would love some. Yeah, here you go. No, no, I like children a great deal. In your belly. No, not in my belly. You're borderline offensive.

The little kids' hand, like, grr-g-g-k-g-ch. Just the little kid's hand. Who's humming watches you guys are traveling? I mean, I'm on one of the horses, just, yeah. Make a session check for me. Oh no, this would be funny. Come on, first good roll of the day. That'll do.

Hey. That's 16. 16? 16. That's enough. As you guys are continuing, about midday or so, you're hitting the noonday sun, and some of the clouds are broken up briefly.

You notice a tiny distant curl of smoke just over one of the hills, just lazy little line of darkness across the... It looks like happy fire smoke or bad, unfortunate, something's burning dark, dark. It looks very localized. Listen, everyone, this is what happened to me. Here is my definite back story. No, no, we'll do this later. Do you see the smoke over there? There's smoke. Everybody there's smoke over there. We have to put a hold of this right now. There's definitely a plume of smoke.

I don't know what it means. I don't know what it's about. It could be a good thing. It could be a bad thing, but we have to stop this conversation right in its tracks. What is it? Does it look like good smoke or bad smoke? Honestly, I can't tell from here. It's very localized.

Is it into the woods or is it further along? Is it into the woods or is it? No, it's, you cannot see that it's over a hill, like one of the larger hills. It's kind of blocking whatever its source is. It's about maybe a mile or so off of the road, if you were to go ahead. Maybe a mile is so off the road. Just chimney smoke. Just keep moving.

It doesn't look like chimney smoke. I'm not sure. So there's fire. So what? Can't. Does it look like campfire smoke? It could be. It could be chimney smoke.

It's not a billowing column. It's not a billowing column. Wow. You say it. It has such a different column. It's such a different color to it. There's people, though, or something. They're burning people?

Well, I mean, it's just be on alert. They could be burning any. We call that a barbecue. Finally once and for all answer, what do children turn like? Continuing onward, about 10 minutes later, you get just around the edge of where that hill was, and you can see the source of the smoke. They're kind of nestled between what looks to be, A small cluster of trees and a bit of just natural rock formations looks to be a small shack

that the smoke is pulling from. It's a small shack. I continue going forward on the road. Small shack. Should be going to knock on the door? Did you want to see somebody worth bargaining with or something? Why don't we send my cat? Sure.

Weird people live in shacks in the woods, you guys. Send the cat. Send the cat. We're not even... I don't even think we're going to see a cat. I'm gonna pull over, I think we'll just stick up. Is the shed from where we are now still like a mile away? Yeah, it's been a mile away. If it's of interest we can turn around.

The truck is a mile away. A mile away? Yeah. Oh. Can Frumkin be a bird? Yeah. For a bit. I want to check out the Shack.

All right, for you Ford, I will make Frumkin a bird. Not for me, though. We can always just go. We can just walk over there. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, but just go knock on the thing, yeah. Turn it into a bit, yeah, keep your cat. You are more sensitive than I would have imagined. You're so tough, but do.

Everybody here likes you. Yasha's leaving away. I'm taking on to the shack. I'm just about a really cool owl. Are we really, okay. All right, so Yasha's going to the shack. Is it just Yasha? I'm following.

Wait, she's going to the shack? Yeah. Okay, so Yasha, Molly, and Ford her head into the Shower. Okay. We'll be right back. I'll put Frumpkin back on her shoulder. As you guys make your way up, crusting the hill, down into this kind of small localized valley towards where the shack is, where the clusters of kind of trees and the edge of a small kind of forest cluster is a little bit past it.

You approach the shack, and as you get towards it, you get a better look at it. It's made of simple masonry and stones lodged together to create the outer walls of it. It can't be more than 20 feet by 20 feet inside. It's not a large abode. There is one brick chimney with that single kind of curl of smoke that was visible off your end is there. You can see there's a wood chopping block in the outside with an axe embedded and left in it with a couple of pieces of firewood off at the side. Looks like there is a tanning easel set there for whoever's been utilizing it. There is a front door. You see a window that has no glass in it, it's just about maybe that bigger or so it's more for keeping an eye out or looking through it. Scanning the land and the trees around, just doing a quick once over of the

close area. Perception check. Six. Looks fine. Looks clear. Good looking. Greg. Yeah.

Okay. I'll head around back. Okay. You can hit. I'm going to get off my horse and... Okay. Get off the horse. I'm going to start looking through Frumpkin in an attempt to let Yasha know that I am with her.

I make Frumpkin do this to her full head with his paw. Just like soft paw, so it's tapping his face. Stop it. Oh, that's a good question. I know that we were kind of loosey-goosey with familiar things. We've said that I can see this far away, but I probably cannot make him do that this far away. Command. 100 feet. Take it back.

Okay. Okay. I still blow up. The fur gets in your nose. Before you hit a round back? Fort did you head around back? On the back you see, there's a couple of cured and salted meats that are hanging from the back of the kind of ramshackle roof

that ends and kind of curves down a bit, almost like over time the weathering has caused it to curl under. There is another doorway that leads to the back. It looks like there is no window back here. There is a single window out front, and there are two doors in the front and back of it. I'll make my way another quarter way around the house so I can see Yasha and Molly, and I'll say, like,

go ahead, I'll keep an eye. So I can see both. I'm going to knock on the door, yeah? Oh, that seems fair. Yeah. You hear like a little bit of rustling, a couple of heavy footsteps. The door, you hear a large metal rod shift, and it just creaks open, maybe about two to three inches. And there you see what I can only describe as an elderly full-blood orc.

His head wreathed and tangled gray cord. gray coarse hair, like a crown around the top of the head that kind of goes past the mouth and over the chest to about midpoint there. A foot long beard around his chin that ends at about the bottom of the clavicle or the sternum. Muscular and hunched, his gray-green skin looks thick and weathered and folded at the crow's nests and under where the nose and the mouth is. You can see the two heavy tusks protruding from underneath the lower jaw. His eyes are sunken and bloodshot. round side the yellow slera. One hand opens the door while another one remains out of sight. As the kind of face pushes forward to inspect you, the low voice says, your business. Oh yes, hello. We were just passing through and we saw some smoke,

so we just wanted to make sure everything was okay and just come over here and check on you. But you seem to be fine. Everything is fine. Selling me wares or do you need any news from the other side of the road? Have your news to share? There are skirmishes at the border and soldiers are moving east. Lots of them, worth noting. We're trying to avoid it.

Good to know. The door begins to close. But did you have, I don't think you answered the other part of what he was saying. Do you have any wares for... For sale? It's for sale. For sale. Leans further in. Go ahead and make a... Or like some meats.

Make a charisma check. Oh, yeah. There we go. That's tough. Now I have a minus two, guys. Yeah, that's still. Yeah, okay, 11. Okay, all right.

Shimmie and a shake. Just kind of glaring at you with one eye kind of peeking through and there's a bit of a grud. There's a bit of a grud. and the breath emanates, and it smells of, like, heavy pepper and dust almost. Kind of a bit of a smokiness to it. The door opens slightly more, and the head peeks through to give you a good look over. Maybe for trade. What do you have to trade? Reaches out and...

No. Okay. Do it. I'm just... No, we haven't. I can't. We have some bits and pieces. What do you need? We have gold, but you don't really strike me as the type he cares?

Gold doesn't hurt to other passes by. I've got a few bits. What do you need? Do you need tools? Do you need... Tools are for? I'm going to pull out... Verstables. Fresh produce, maybe. Do we have anything? Fresh produce were a little thin on because we're just on the road, but we do have...

We might have some bacon. Opens the door a bit further and kind of looks to the left, looks to the right. You're off the side of the wall though, so you don't see him. He doesn't see you. It goes, it opens the door fully and steps back and you can now see he had on the other hand will look to be like a really nasty looking somewhat rusted battle axe. And he just kind of had right around the door just in case. He goes and sets the loop at the handle of it and puts it over a knob that's on the wall and then steps inside his small hovel as you kind of look in the inside. It's fairly bare, but there are lots of furs that have been skinned and cured that are up on the walls that are hanging from wolves, from badgers, different other creatures that he's probably hunted and brought in here and tanning the process. You see what looks to be hanging on the edge a handmade piece of hide armor that has been recently stained. As soon as you get close, you can kind of smell the stain scent off of it. You get the sense here based on the tanning setup outside that's probably part of his trade in business.

It's a nice piece of hide armor, that's nice. That's nice. He's also for trade or purchase. Also, I have meats. They have pelts. How much are you selling the hide armor for? He thinks to himself for a second, considers what he is. and considers what he's put the time of energy into it.

15 gold pieces. How about 16 gold pieces and you throw in a little bit of meat? Two pounds of meat. Perfect. Coughs a bit, goes over and starts grabbing the armor and pulling it off of the knob and setting it down, grabbing some meat. He goes and opens and opens the back door

and steps out and starts pulling it off of some meat. of the racks and nails on there. I can hear it, but I can't see it. You're staying where you are? I'll start making my way over to their horses, having heard them go inside, I think. Okay. I would say Caleb has been now writing this to everybody back.

Make perception check. Ten? Ten? Okay. He goes ahead and grabs the meats, sets him in like a small sack. Tats it up, hands it over. The armor he preps and folds and sets over, hands it to you. Thank you.

Pay the man. Pleasure doing business with you. Be careful there's soldiers run around all over the place right now. I'm aware. Have a lovely day. Thank you very much. Apologies for intruding. Good luck.

Closes the door here. Isn't that weirder? Yeah. What was in there? It looks like person. Hide armor, you know. And meat. Oh.

Very nice. Yeah, we got some food for the road. Okay. Fair enough. There was a trapdoor in the floor and there were just people stuck underneath there. Yeah. Three more points on that projection rolling. Something's going on.

That carpet looks like it's been moved recently. All right. Sorry. Shit. It's all right. Just the one guy in there? It seemed like it. Again, met weirder people.

He is selling stuff if you want to go to do. stuff if you want to go check. Yeah, we got the... What do they have? Just meat and... Meat and... Armor? Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right. Shall we?

Yeah. All right. You guys now back up on your horses and make your way back to the rest of the group on the cart. What kind of armor is it out of... It's just... It's hide armor. It's hide armor. It's just well-made, handcrafted hide armor. For anybody who would have use for it, whether it be using or resell it.

be using or reselling, it's up to you. All right. Nothing? We made a friend. Did you kill someone for that? Yes. He's dead. He's very dead.

Yeah. And then he rose up from the grave again, and we had to kill him again, twice. Yeah. Same man. But that shack is now ours, so great. Should we stay the night though? Maybe we should just live here instead of us.

I'm thinking of planting soybeans. This is our keep. What do we name it? Okay. Small shit, can't keep. Yeah, let's keep going. Four walls. All right, you guys continue onward for the rest of the day

until eventually the sun sets and you find yourself with evening quickly taking the sky. All right, let's just make camp before we can believe in the light this time. Good call. All right, who's humming the search for a good place to camp? I'll look this time. I'll help.

All right, perception check with advantage because the sun is still up. Don't fuck this up, Ford. You broke. The same. Almost the same thing. You need to stop using those dice. So we got advantage. Plus, but you said advantage.

That's it. 10? Okay. 10? You glance off, and maybe about 30 minutes up the road, you can see what looks to be a small forest. Maybe two miles, three miles in diameter or so. It's a cluster of trees and it'd probably be a way to camp off the road. There's a close.

Worcestered trees up ahead, we could aim for that. How's it? Let's do it. What kind of meat is this out of curiosity? Make a nature check. Definitely. Nope. It's just going today.

It's just going. It is meat. It's just as far as I know, it could be veggie. I'm going to take a little nibble of it. It's good. It's a little dry, but it's salted. It's cured. It'll keep for a while.

Muppet. A little chewy. It's very, very good. very good. From tasting it, do I know what it is? I should I have it? Make a nature check. Only I have it helped counting to the number four. Have you ever tried to me in before? Let's see.

So fucking yeah. Salt peter. Five. It's good. Yeah. It's very good. It's very good. I think I'm going to want more of this. I'm not sure where it's coming from, but I definitely think I'm getting a taste for it. Yeah, this is so, it's a delicacy. I'm going to start making a nice pretty, bed in a cart.

It's gonna be like really nice. For all of us or just you? For anyone who wants to stay in here or two? I would like that. Okay. I'll make a fire again. Yeah, maybe we can break off some branches and some kindling and the trees maybe. There's trees.

Yeah, we can do that. Okay, so you've managed to set up right as the sun complete setting, you built up this little campfire in the center, you set up your bedding around it, the cart is a little ways off, or unless you're putting the beach, vetting in the cart and putting that there in a foot. Okay, so you put the cart there. It's still a thread around the edges. Okay. Who's taking first watch?

I'll take first watch. Oh, yeah, I'll take first watch unless someone objects. All right, that'll do. Do you want to, yeah, I'll take it? Yeah, I'll take it. All right, so roll normal roll, because you are keeping an eye through darkness.

But I have night vision. NightVision is only an audit for certain radius. 12. 12. Okay. You both maintain the first watch as you continue looking out towards the darkness and beyond the visible trees that are refracting, but a little bit of light makes it to their bark. Looking into the shadows, your watch comes to an end, an eventful. I was so glad to be out of that bloody city. Yeah, me too, I guess. I just am excited to see more, you know.

It's nice to be on the road. Yeah, it's nice to be on the road. I've never been up this way before. You haven't? Not that I can remember, not that I know. No, that's true. I remember everything. If I look around, are there are there flowers anywhere? Uh, making an investigation check. Ooh. I haven't done that before.

Eight. Eight? So it takes you a little while. You started getting a little nervous, because Yasha just vanishes in the darkness saying, I'll be right back, and is gone for like 40 minutes. She's going to be gone for another six days now. I'm about poison oak, you guys. You know, you come back with a handful of small, like, posies. They're nothing special, but there are flowers.

I found some, some of these. I'm going to put them in my book. I've gotten a lot of different ones now, so... Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to save them to quite the collection. I'm going to crumble them up. As you guys finish your watch, Who's taking next watch? We will.

Never mind. All right, not on Caleb. Who's taking point on this? All right, so go ahead and roll. You can't see in the dark. Oh, yeah. With advantage or a straight roll for this? I will aid.

Huh? It's a straight roll for you. The lanterns, I mean, they're helping you see the close vicinity. I will still do it. I'll say sure. With the lights, how far can they go out? What's the range? Oh, I think it's 60 feet.

I bet that's wrong. It is 120 feet. Yeah, so rolled advantage. I'll say all of it. Okay, I'll roll the twins. Hey, really good. So that's a 22. 22. Nice.

You guys are sitting there for a bit enjoying the time by the fire, kind of conversing. Caleb, keeping an eye out beyond the various tree trunks. You hear the snapping of a twig. with a snapping of a twig. You see what looks to be some shifting of shadow. Not that something. What is, what?

Few things. Where, which direction? Point to it. Just a smack bow in the blanket. Part to it. Are they all on one, do I see anything? As you glance around and he's pointing this out, and you begin to come to consciousness.

I cast mage armor. All right. Jester. Chester. What? Shh. At that moment, as soon as you finish casting mage armor, there's a little flash rocket energy

Two arrows come shooting out of the shadows right towards you. Natural 20. Oh, wow. And a six, which begin to 10. So... Okay. The second does not hit, but the first one obviously does. All right.

So you suffer five points of piercing damage. As the arrow catches you right in kind of the left pectoral muscle. And I need to make a constitution saving throw. Or a sleep arrow or... A constitution. Or a health cure arrow. Probably a health cure. Not great.

10. Are you feeling one well? 10. You feel this burst of poison begin to pulse through your veins. You are considered poison. As you guys all, you see this happen, you glance around, you can see a bunch of small shapes, beginning to skitter from around some of the trees. This kind of growling sound, this kind of almost barking sound. There's a few strange,

It looks like wolves start emerging from one side, like two or three of them. Their eyes kind of glistening as the light from the fireman, just to catch it from an angle. And behind them, these two heavy forms begin to emerge, and one of them goes, oh no, they've awakened. I know. And we'll come back to roll initiative here. As we're going to take a quick break. The break? Okay.

It felt like the end for some reason. It did. I cannot panic. No, we want to get here. No, no. We have one of a break. So we'll come back on that and roll initiative. I'm gonna have.

As you guys, that campfire caught someone's attention. All right, so for our Wormwood giveaway tonight. Shit. I want to talk tonight. It's never gonna happen. So I was thinking cool. Could be. Tonight we're getting out a fantastic zero-coated dice tray.

From our friends at Wormwood. This is an awesome. This is, I'm pretty sure, yeah, this is the wood, that I use on mine. Very slick tonight's keyword is Memories. So if you want to go ahead and come into the Twitch chat, enter the phrase once. More than once, you'll be disqualified,

and unfortunately it's only able to friends in the US and Canada except for Quebec. But we'll come back with the winner here at the end of the break. And stay tuned, because during the break, we're gonna play the first episode, a key question, because it's Deadpool related and Deadpool's tomorrow.

Yeah, this is a cool deal here. Right, so it's an edited version, because it's long episodes, but you get a sample. Don't you fight. All right, guys, thank you. We'll see you back here in a few minutes. And welcome back, everybody. That's all right.

So, before we jump in, we do have a winner from the break for our fantastic Wormwood giveaway. The winner is Brian Spin Kicker. Oh, Ryan Spin Kicker. Congratulations. We'll get that out to you, ASAP. But congrats to you, my friend. Exactly.

It's my favorite ride at the spring festival. So, I guess, I guess I should bring it out. Yeah. Oh, bring it out. Bring it out. Bring it out, bring it up. Bring it up.

At least we get surprised stacked. That's good. Anyway, Caleb, this is what happened to me as no. Oh, no. Oh my god, they're huge. There's big people. There's little people. What are we going to do here?

Glancing around, you see what appeared to be a cluster of God, of goblin-like creatures coming out of the nearby forest helmed by two large ogres that are yelling across the way. He said goblin-like creatures. It's very shadowy and dark, you can't even see. And it would appear to be a cluster of wolves also that are circling from that side. Wolves, goblins. Oh, she falls. Because I did not have the cart and horses with me, I thought I did, and I left them at home.

We'll say that they got spooked after the arrows were fired and are off the side of it. Nice improv. Yeah. But to that note, everyone, I need you to roll in a shit. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Here we go. Level five.

Level five. Level five. What are these little tini? Oh, my God. Natural 20. Oh, shit. You're asleep, though, so I would. Okay.

All right. So, to that note, friends, 25 to 20. 20? 24. What? A natch for 20 on the most useless category. Not a useless category, but in terms of a net 20. Me.

Some creatures. But exciting. I don't want to shit on it. You know, I'm not cursing. 20 to 15? 18. 16. 16.

All right. Caleb, for Mallor. It's really what I do best, guys. It's my most consistent thing that I do is roll shit initiative. initiative. Like, through both campaigns. In life and in... It's kind of crazy.

Just always. All right. In both. 15 to 10? Wow. Wow. Okay. 10 to 5?

Six. Oh, wait. I never said mine. No. 15. Sorry. All right. I was expecting another six.

Then you both are six. Wait, what did you have, Molly? I had 16. Okay. Yeah, shut. Same time. Damn. All righty.

So, top of combat round after the arrows were fired and Caleb is wincing and pulling back from the blow as these creatures begin to come out of the shadows preparing for their continuation of their assault. Bo, you're up first. Oh, Jesus. Yes. Oh boy. Oh boy.

Oh boy. Oh, boy. Oh, okay. Lived you awake. I wake up and I go fight, Caleb. I run towards whatever I see first. Do I see the wolf? Do I see the goblins? Looking this way, as you know, you see the wolves, these goblin creatures here, and this large looming ogre that was shouting across the way to the other ogre who's like certain

now pushing past the tree and coming into view. Oh no, bow in her hazy boss phase goes, ogres are the leaders and she runs straight for the ogre. Alrighty, so as you dart past in 20, 25, it'll put you right there. I'm going to unleash a round of attacks. Alrighty. Two attacks. So as you rush up grabbing your staff from the ground, kind of getting the sleep from your face,

you run towards it, swing! The first attack is a 10. Ten misses. No, and the second attack also misses. So both first strikes attack, attack, that's your attack action. Those are both of my attack actions. I'm going to use a key point to go into patient defense at that point. Okay. So you're seeing twice, you're still kind of groggy from being woken up and your blows just go a bit wide.

Oh, we're kind of laughs as it kind of palms away one of your strikes. I yawn and then go into a stance. As you can do a stance, you just, and you look down and there's the wolf right there growling its jaws open, its teeth exposed. I turn back to Jester and I go, Jester puppies. And then face your defense. All right. The goblins are taking their turn now.

I rolled really high on their initiative. They are goblins. They are goblins. They are goblins. And now you've gotten a moment to look. You see them in their kind of greenish skin. There are forms wearing bits of like cobbled together, leather and hide and peltz of whatever they've scavenged around. It looks like they have bits of like red and purple pink and a smeared in their face and some sort of a war paint style.

And they're all just like, out of the last. You speaking goblin. know that they're essentially shouting commands, Dernigate's pull back and fire! And as they're all keeping their distance at this point, just close up the fire, they're starting to back away and rotate, firing volleys of arrows again towards everybody in the center. That's going to be two against Caleb, one against not,

two against Yasha, two against Jester and two against Ford. Actually, it should be only one against four, because there's only eight copies. So two against Caleb. That's going to be a 12. That does not hit. And a six. Does not hit. Both miss, both kind of deflecting off of the major armor you had put up before.

That's going to be one against not. It's going to be an eight. You just stuck out of the way and it goes vanishing in the darkness beyond. It's going to be two against, that's right there, two against Yasha. That's going to be a nine. Nine. And a 23. Okay. You take four points of piercing damage and you make Constitution saving throw.

Oh, fuck. How many points of damage did you see? I'm sorry? You are poisoned. Four. Four points? Okay. Four points, okay. And make a constitution saving throw. Okay. That's right after that. First shot. 22.

22. The arrow hits you and you feel the poison pulls through and you just kind of flex and greet your teeth and your body manages to just prevent the poison from taking a root into your system. Oh shit, sorry. That's why I get rid of the poison. That's going to be two a jester. That's going to be a 14. I see you and a 19.

As I'm lifting my shield, the other one gets underneath it. It's five points of piercing damage to you and make a constitution saving throw. Natural twin. Whoa, any minute, just shrug off the venom of these arrow strikes and then one against you forward. That's going to be a 15. Misses. Misses. As you have your shield now at your turn.

Did I take damage from that one arrow? You did, you took five points of use of damage. And just splinters across it. And with that, they all begin to dart. back behind cover. It vanishes over here. This one's going to dart over into this space there. This dart's behind there.

He's both vanished behind the tree there. All righty. So they'll just, I'm going to dash into the shadows and vanish behind the various trees. Around you. That finishes the round. Caleb, you're up with Ford on deck. Yeah, I'm going to push through the pain in my veins

and reach into my satchel and a smear of molasses on my hand. And then I'm going to come up. cast slow on this batch here. So they have to make a wisdom save against my DC. All right. That's some southern shit. Get the molasses out you're at. So.

Wisdom save, all right. 16 is the DC. 16 is the DC. All right. So for that ogre over there, that's gonna, no, that's a failure. Yes. He's gonna be.

Time cough. Speed is how. Takes negative two to AC and dexterity saving throws. Can't use reactions. On its turn, it can use either an action or a bonus action, not both. Right, all right. And then the other goblins there. One attack around.

All right. That's an 18. Okay. It succeeds. And then that one there. That's another 18, same in a row. Sorry about that. That's okay.

And I'm going to use my movement just to get closer to the fire. Closer into the fire, maybe over towards Molly and Yasha as I can. Yeah. All righty. Yeah. And you are maintaining slow. Concentration on one. Big dude.

Do you roll a save against poison or no? No, he's just poison. Slow. All righty. So that being the case, that finishes up. Caleb's turn. Ford, you're up with Molly on deck. I'm going to use my bonus action to cast Hexblades curse on the big old fellow that Caleb pointed at.

Alrighty. So as he's suddenly, you watch, I'm like, already a sluggish creature now moving at even more sluggish pace. The shadows around all of a sudden jump off of the nearby tree trunks and cling to the interior of its form around where the nooks and crannies are, almost like looking like a small scale venom symbiote at times.

I'll use my 30 feet of speed to run this way, South East. South East, around this way or this way? Between these two trees if I can. Okay, that's... 10, 15, 20, 25. Can I get with the melee of this guy if I? You do get past this guy,

who is gonna talk of opportunity on you if you'd like. Oh, really? Take it. Nope. I'm gonna come, I'm gonna come this way over here if I can. Oh my God. I also went there. 30. Great, okay.

That's where you can get there. And I will use Eldridge blast against those two hiding, the two goblins hiding behind the tree. So as you rush past, you spin around with the sword and shield in one hand, so you're, I mean, you haven't drawn your fountain. I haven't pulled you. Yeah. So you just spin around and releasing from your grip.

I'll have two bursts. You do. Someone attack for each. That's 12 for the first one. That does not hit. Natural 20. Yeah. The first one, the goblin has a shield affixed to its wall, and it kind of,

knocks it out of the way and then I'll just blast just poops without any sort of impact the second one does hit the other It poops That's four plus four is eight plus four is twelve so twelve points twelve points of damage the other goblin Was flying back about five or six feet timbles to the ground and it's not moving Nice that completes my turn all right. Finishing Ford's turn Molly you're up I'm going to run directly at the that creature right there. All righty.

And on the way, I'm going to use my bonus action to start one of my cimitars. All right. I think I get two attacks with that cemeter then. You do. Is this with your right of the dawn? Yeah. All right. Look, there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there,

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So come and join us, wherever you listen to your podcast. So as you watch as the Cemetery, gleams with this kind of faint and glowing radiant energy, this kind of luminescent glow to the blade as he swings towards the singular goblin. Go ahead and make your attacks, if you like. Sending my new max HP. All right. So attack number one is...

16 to hit? 16 hits. 16 hits a goblin? Yep. And just double checking, I'm still at a D4 for a... Correct. All right. So that's... That's 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 points of damage. 11 points of damage, that'll do it. You rush up and just carve right through his towards those. Do I still have movement? You do. I'm going to head around the tree for the other one.

That... Yeah, because it was 5. 10, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. You can get from... right up behind with that gobblin. All right, I'm gonna take one shot at him. Go for it. Oh, 10. 10, as you swing towards a basis, manages to take a shield and deflect the blade

and your scintar sticks into the side of the tree, and you have to pull it forth to this lodge and prepare yourself for the next round. All right. All right, the finish as Molly's go. Now the ogres take their turn. This one right here next to bow, as you just charged up and attempted to pummel it,

going to defensive stance kind of, He's going to go ahead and make two great club swings towards you with disadvantage, because you have your... Even with disadvantage, that is 19 to hit. I rolled the 19 to 13. Uh-huh. So that hits. The second one, that is an 18, and, oh, and a 14.

Okay, miss. So the second one misses. The first one, as it swings down towards you with heavy. Rushing back. That is indeed... I love this shit, very much. 13 points of bloodshiny damage as it slams into you and you come against the tree as you barely catch yourself and right, the second swing goes through and with that you manage to pull underneath. Your defensive stance ready to go and you jam the club into the tree. The tree actually shakes, sending a bunch of leaves and a couple birds kind of scatter out from the inside as the ogre kind of pulls the club back. 13. Correct? Correct.

And with that, the Oberg is going to go ahead and... She's going to just move over here and is going to shout to the dogs. Go! Carve face! And the dogs kind of, get ready to pounce. Do they say carve face? Car face. Car face. Car face. Car face. Car face. Oger only has 20 feet of movement.

Five, ten, ten, fifteen, twenty. Half of his movement? Yep. He has forty movement. This is so big. Yeah. She's like, gr-h-br-br-p-ch-p-d-ch. Not in the distance, however, pulls a javelin out of a small pouch in the side.

And right there, immediate view is the tiny goblin that at the moment, the ogre thinks might be one of his own. Instead, it's going to go ahead and assault the mage that affected him with the slow spell and still throwing it slowly. It goes in your direction. It's the only action it takes, though. Yeah, okay. That is going to be 23 to hit.

Uh, uh, uh, take it because shield won't match the difference. All righty. And so with that, that is the javelin, which duh. The insuff is the worst. All of all dice at each other. 14 points of piercing damage. Okay. Are you alive still? As the javelin sinks into your stomach and embeds itself about four or five inches

into your torso to the point where the javelin's now holding itself out from your body and immediately grab it. Like, the shot kind of hits you that it managed to drive itself so deep inside. You're already aware of the damage it's done to your internals. It's just going to put you in a state of shock. That's going to end that guy's turn. But I guess to make a saving throw to try and resist the slow spell. That is going to be 15. No.

Spell the C is 16. Yeah. They rolled the natural 17 minus two. Not very wise, these guys. So he remains slow. However, I need you to make concentration check. Concentration check. Oh, boy.

Roll high, roll high. Did, I did well. Good, good. The concentration is, I've never done this before. It's constitution saving throw. So there is 19. 19, yeah. So you managed to maintain your slow spell on him, no issue.

All right, the ogre's turns are done, not you're up. I yell to Caleb, modern literature. And then I run towards these two goblins over here. Over the side? Yep. All right. 1520. I take out my hand crossbowls,

and I point it from the goblins to Caleb and I fire. Okay. And I'm aiming for the book strapped under his armpit that only I know is under his clothes. Okay. And I rolled a natural 20. It is. Okay. Because, yeah, there was, essentially because you're aiming for such a small piece there.

I was going to add five to the armor class, but a natural 20 hits. So, as he's kind of pulled back and clutching itself, you go ahead and hit the, you hit the, the book that's kind of harnessed under his arm. You feel the impact, no. Oh, God's for dance! He's gonna play dead. All right. Oh, shit.

You fall prone on the ground. Nice. I will ask you to make another concentration check because you are averting your gaze and attention from the creature you're focusing on. 10. 10? You're fine. 10 is the D.C. you had to hit.

Oh, my God. He's like this. Yeah, just out of the corner of his eye. Mom, come out of the room. I'm looking at my eyelashes. I do need you to make a deception check if you can. Oh, geez. But with advantage, because you've managed to pull this off pretty well so far.

This is just to convince others. Where's my Percy die? You guys call this one. It's a purple one. When he calls this gun. Modern literature. Modern literature. The deception, you say?

Yes. It is an 18. As far as they're concerned, Caleb is dead. Wow. Where is you? You guys, we need formation. You guys, we need formations. By the fire?

Yeah, we do. That was my bonus action. For my action, I will tell the two goblins right. Your action, in order to do the bonus action strike, you have to have attacked with your action. So it's either two attacks or something else. So you've attacked. So now I have a bonus action? Can I use it to talk?

I'll say sure. Okay, so in goblin I'm going to say to them, I'll hold them off. You get the loot with the horses. Make a deceptionary check. Make a deception check. Sin goblin. These are not good for you.

Oh, shit. Oh, God. I just missed them. Oh, 13? 13. Okay. Wait, this is persuasion or deception? This is deception.

Thirteen. Okay. All right, so they kind of look at you confused. One of them looks over towards the horses. The other one seems to be holding its ground, but it looks like one of them has been, is in the moment of looking off to something else. That ends your turn? Yes. Jester and Yasha, you guys are up.

Yeah. As far as you guys know, not just turned on you with the rest of the goblins and shot down Caleb. If I fucking waste of my fucking smell. Caleb! I rush over and I cast cure wounds at second level. Oh my God! Okay, there you go. You move over, like stepping over the campfire. Don't, don't see it. Laura for completing the RV.

Yes! No, no, no, this family all. No matter of this family. Not in this house. I'm blowing it! We don't have it! I should have told everyone the names of all the set plays! That would be two D8 plus four.

Oh, wow. Oh, that's 12 plus 8, so 20 points of healing. So you'll 20 hit points, Caleb. Do you continue to play dead? Yeah. Okay. This spell doesn't have an effect on Caleb. It's not working!

Bonus action. But really I'm up to full. Yeah, because I have no hit points. I'm gonna use my bonus action to cast sacred flame at the ogre that is attacking us. Sacred fame is an action, though, isn't it? Oh, oh, it is. I'm sorry, I was thinking because it was a cantrip. You're right. That's a good. Bonus action.

There's not really anything I can do, is there? You cry, boy. You can move. You still have. Like 20 feet of movement. I'm going to try to drag Caleb. Oh, Jesus. Okay, so. Away from the fire, away behind the ash.

Okay, so half movement, you grab and start dragging Caleb face down through the dirt. To about theirs as far as you can get on it. Just over the, through rocks and sticks, twigs and shit are getting caught in your hair. It's redurteying me. Yeah. Fuck, great. Just coming shot. The head.

Fuck, sick. All right, that finishes Jesser's turn, Yasha. All right. Oh! Okay. Give me that vision any day. Whoop, you're going to walk up to this guy. I'll look back at Jester.

I'll save us. It's okay. No, the one up here? Yeah. All right, so you step four past there and you get right up into the grill of the slowed ogre. All right. And I'm going to get really mad, and I'm going to use Necrotic Shroud. What is that? Okay.

So, as you guys watch here, the campfire suddenly dims. The flames kind of flicker and cool to this low orange glow from the vibrant yellow flame it was before. As Yasha steps past the flame, and you watch is behind the shawl. large skeletal black wings emerge from the back of her shoulder blades. Like real or like see-through? I don't think you guys can see it. Because like, can they see it? It's only like 10 feet. It has the effect but it's still visible. I'm pretty sure. I can see it!

Yeah, I think you're right. I think you're right. The effect is only within 10 feet. Are they real or are they see-through? You look what appears to be somewhat translucent skeletal wing structure with like membranous undead-looking wings. What the shit? And as that happens, this dark energy kind of emanates from her body. And you watch for a second, the white tips of her hair go completely black. As she steps forward striding with her blade in her hands.

Currently, not you're the only one who can see this, but her eyes. Her eyes go jet black. Oh, just entirely full darkness, a void of light, where her eyes once were as this happens and she strides forward. So, Chrisma saving throw on his point there. On all of our points. Well, I'm only 10 feet. Unfortunately, he does succeed. Oh, okay. Damn it.

However, you do manage to maintain your rest of your... Do you need to... Okay, so now I have... So now I have an attack because of an extra attack? Yep, you have two attacks. Great. This is an action to do that. That's an action.

So no, you cannot attack. I cannot, even the extra action? No, because it's two attacks for the attack action. But that's your action. Well, I'd like to rage. Yes, you may. Okay. So as you step up to this ogre, your wings unfurled,

you just give out this heavy Yasha roar that kind of echoes in the space around you. the wings flex out even further. This dark energy pulling in the over's like, looking kind of taken aback by this unexpected display of power. Ooh, intimidated out there. We might not many for that. All right. That sounds awesome.

Holy shit. I have to look into that. Okay. Is that your turn, Yasha? Yeah, because I'm not gonna move. All right, it is the wolves. Where are the wolves? There's two wolves.

There are three words. So these wolves here, watching you, drag Caleb backward, all rush into charge against you. Great. Do I get a hit? Do I get a hit? No, because they move outside of your range there. He ran by me. This one does. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So you want to take opportunity against that guy. Crick crack. So go ahead and roll for it. Okay. This is a real fight. If you hit him, he gets... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Oh. 12? 12 hits. Go ahead and roll damage.

And as part of the Sentinel Feet. He doesn't get the move. He doesn't get to, eh, oh, 12, sorry, yeah, 12 damage. 12 damage? Yes, I roll name. As the wolf rushes from you, you crack down with the staff, oh, and kind of yelps. It's still standing, but it's hurt really bad. It's like limping and turns around towards you with this heavy growl, this angry glare at

you. It's going to go ahead and attempt to attack you with this advantage because you're still at your yeah. 18 and 17, plus four. Four, yeah, it's gonna be... 18 and a 17. It hits, yeah. It hits.

So, I know. It's almost like I have a dice that lets me do that. You son of a bitch! I know. And double fours on the D4s, so that would be 10 points of piercing damage, and you should make a strength saving throw. Hang on, one, two. It affects the dice around it.

Hang on, one. Oh, okay. You know what, you know what? I'll come back to that, a strength saving throw. Yes. Okay. You, Gil? 19. Okay, it does not knock you prone. It attempts to as it strikes you, it attempts to push you off your feet and you just like resist it.

Using your hand against the tree to kind of push yourself back up and get back into your position. Bad dog! The two other ones, however, are going to go against Jester, and because they have packed tactics, they both have advantage on their strikes against you because they're kind of coming up and flanking you. It's a little. The first one is going to be... Oh shit. It's a...

A 20, the first one. Not natural 20, but it's... Natural 20? No. No. No. That's gonna be a double 19s on that one. Jesus Christ, I'm rolling really good tonight. So both hit you.

So celebratory. I am. I'm excited. The first one is gonna be eight points of piercing damage. I... And I need you, and the other one is gonna be nine points of piercing damage. I need you to make two strength saving throws. You're strong.

Good damn. That was, how much, eight and nine? Yes. So that's 17. Ooh. Wait, no, I think, did I? No, I did that wrong, didn't I? Shitballs. Anyway, strength, saving throws. Yes, two of them, please. You gotta close out of that, too.

Okay, strength, uh, 12 and 13. All right, you managed to resist being knocked prone, as they both begin just, like, jumping at you and clawing one of them bites towards the back of your armor, and you throw it to the ground, you almost get knocked. off, but you kept yourself there between the two of them standing, Caleb at your feet. I'm going to cast hellish rebuke in response to one of them. All righty. He's going to go ahead and make a dexterity saving throw. That's a natural four. Nope. So it's full damage on this wolf here. That would be 15 points of damage to him. 15 points of damage. You watch as that wolf suddenly is blasted in freezing cold energy as you yell in response to its assault.

You stay away. As you pull back and look, the wolf is frozen, solid and tumbles into a bunch of ice chunks off the battlefield. All righty, that ends the wolf's turn. Top of the round, Bo, you're up. I'm gonna unleash on this ogre in front me. Go for it. The ogre and the wolf, right? I'll do my first two attacks on the ogre. Natural 18 on the first one, and the second one sucks at a four, with a 10 total.

That misses. So first one hits. Okay. Damn it, six. Damage. Six points of damage, all ready. And I'll go ahead and do flurry of blows for my bonus. Alrighty, so you have two more strikes. Against the ogre as well? Yeah, let's unleash into the ogre. Go for it. Okay. 19. 19 hits. And 14. 14 also hits. Damage on both of those. So D4 is on those. Not doing great. Okay.

Doing great. We're good. Ten damage on the first, eight on the Nice, 18 points of damage. 18. All righty. Using that key. Done. All right, that finishes. Bow's turn is now the Goblins go.

What happens to me? I've been going in a while. You're next. Yeah, you come after the Goblins. Don't worry. You're coming. The post is everything else. So this one here, who's up against you, Molly, is just going to go ahead and it kind of throws the sharp over its shoulder,

pull out its scimitar, and lash out towards you. That's going to be a 15 to hit. 15 to hit? He sees 15. That hits then. So you suffer. It's going to be five points of slashing damage. As it just strikes across you, backs up, pulls its shield up, and it's getting ready to defend

itself, whatever assault you bring back at it. It's going to stay right there because it's kind of liking the tree cover to its side. But keeping an eye on shoulders for it's four which tried to fire at it previously. These two coblins are going to step out. And they're going to go both fire at Ford, who is kind of advancing towards them. That is going to be a 20 to hit. That hits. Jesus.

And a 10 to hit. Does not hit. So one arrow, the other one, manages to catch you like on the side of the neck and stick in before it falls out of the wound. Not deep enough to stick you too hard. You do suffer, oh, eight points of piercing damage. That's a max damage. And I need to make a constitution saving throw.

24. 24, you resist the poison, no issue. Okay. And this one's gonna go ahead and use the rest of the dart behind there. This one's gonna go ahead and move behind there. All right. These two here that are along with Knott are going to ignore Nott. This one's gonna go ahead and start moving this way towards where the cart ran off and it's off the grid there. Nice.

This one is gonna go ahead and saunter up right next to Knott and then make a shot at Yasha. It's a natural 17, and it's gonna be 21 to hit. Oh. You are raging though, so you take half damage, which is good. There'll be seven points of piercing damage reduced to three. So you take three points of piercing damage. You do have to make a constitution saving throw. All of the arrows they have dipped in some sort of a toxin or venom.

What's the effect of the toxin and venom again? It's a straight... They get the poison condition. I roll the natural one. That, even in your form, the poison begins to take hole and where the wound catches you kind of off the side of the throat and the back of the head, the veins begin to pulse black as the poison begins to take hold. So you are poisoned. There's a really cool looking though. You don't take any additional damage, but currently all

of your attacks are a disadvantage. It goes really well with the wings. It does, actually. That's what poison does. It's all like you get disadvantaged on any attacks if you're poisoned? Poison, disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. Oh. Yeah. That sucks. It's pretty rough. All right, so that ends. That guy's turn. There's one Goblin back here, seeing that Molly is currently engaged, is going to rush up behind in attempt to flank the back of him. It's going to make a strike with its scimitar with the advantage because it's flanking you. That's cocked. Yeah, even its highest roll there is going to be 7 plus 4, it's 11. It goes to strike and you see it coming, hearing the little footsteps behind you, you just duck out of the way as it strikes hitting air, and now you're kind of holding them off on both sides.

I think that's all of them have gone. So that is going to lead us to... Kill him. So I'm poisoned, so any attack rolls are a disadvantage, correct? Correct. So I'm going to struggle to my feet, and I am going to cast sleep over and away in that direction, so it falls way back behind the ogre and these two wolves. The goal is to hit get the ogre and two wolves just on the edges of it, so it doesn't

any of my friends, so I'm aiming far behind them to get them on the perimeter. So just get these two here? The wolves are the primary goal, stopping short of Chester. All right. So they're the wall, the edge. Okay, so go ahead and roll the points for asleep. Yeah. Digi-dhig of 58. Two. There's not concentration, you get to maintain slow.

What does a 20-foot sphere look like on the map, four squares? 20-foot sphere? 20-foot radius? 20-foot sphere? 20-point sphere. Jesus. It's a fucking big. Wait, did you say, did you get a little goblin out there? Is it a 20-foot radius sphere?

We know about them. It just says 20-foot sphere. Did you get in a lot? No. 13-roll. 13-top-toler. 13-t, 10-8 points total. 30, 30, 30. Wait, 20.

This one falls unconscious. Yeah, that one stays up. Area is 20 feet, so it would just be... 10-foot radius, then. There. There. So half the size. So half the size.

And I got to standing, which would take half my movement, so I'm going to use my last 15 feet to get exactly opposite to the other side of the wolf by just sliding around it. Yeah, and killing Jester. All right. You're alive! How did it? Ha ha, funny joke.

All right. Ford you up. I'll use my 30 feet to run towards this goblin. And 1520. Great. And I will use a. Booming blade to make a melee attack against him. All right, go for it.

So as you draw your falchon out of the side, you focus on it, and as you do so, you watch as this spark of electrical thunder energy. It's kind of engulfs the edge of it as you strike downward. That is 18 plus 7, 23. That hits, good, and well damage. Okay, so it's the D8 plus the thunder damage. This is the first time. I'm real excited. Jesus, I'm really excited.

I'm a poison. Five, plus five, ten, and... Additional one d eight. Eight, so 18 points. 18 points of damage. With that as you cut down into the goblin, you watch as the blade sinks in, probably through the torso, and then the burst, causes it to just tear apart in two different directions. Exploding, spattering across the tree and the side of the ogre that's about 10 feet in front of you.

Doesn't seem to notice. And with booming blade, do I... Does that just one of my two attacks per action? No, it's an action to use the cantrip that you get an attack as part of it. So you have to decide between doing two attacks with your evocation that you just took or BIMBIT. Lesson learned. And I'll use the rest of my action to get up on the back.

Move it. Okay. I'm sorry. Missing on movement. 2530. So you're not quite flanking. You have to get one more squarely flanking with Yasha, but Yasha can possibly move and make that flanking on your turn if you'd like. All right, so that ends Ford's turn.

Molly, you're up. Molly Mock. I'm gonna get the one in front of me. All right. First attack. That's all right. That's 19 to hit. 19 hits, that works.

And that's five, six, seven, eight points of damage. Eight points of damage. As you carve through, it cuts giant gash down the front of its body to where it's part of its thigh. It's wounded, very badly, but still standing. What did you attack? Carved that goblin right there. card that gollum right there. And then, yeah.

One more. Slip up. 19 to hit. Yeah, that'll hit. That's 7, 8, 9 points of damage. Right. So what you do is you strike once and it sticks into his body. Then as he's still living, you just double down push and force it the rest of the way down, carving it to half and it cuts it splits in half. It is destroyed.

Yes. I'm going to turn around to the one that That's it behind me. All right. I'm gonna take a third hit. All right, striking down overhand towards it behind you. 12. 12?

Total of 12? That does not hit. He's ready for you and the shield catches your blade. It sticks into it for a second. He shoves it off of you. All right, that's everything. Well, I could move, but no, no, I'm gonna stay locked with this one then. Oh yeah, I'm done.

I forgot to attack that other ogre last turn. That's okay. He was slowed, it's fine. Now the ogres go. This one is gonna go ahead and continue to pummel you as you know you've pummeled it So it gets two strikes against you I'm gonna use I'm gonna you disadvantage Okay, thank you. You're welcome Thank you

That's gonna put him at a nine so the first strike misses are you going full amplify? Yeah full amplifier So the second strike also has disadvantage what is that called? That's a full amplify It's gonna be a 15 to hit Wow miss so both swings go wide as its eye suddenly are filled with both blackened blood and it can't see where you are. It hits the side of the tree and the tree actually like tumbles over onto the ground there. All right. Firewood. With that the other ogre who's now in front of Yasha, as you can approach it, it's cut off guard and it's just going to smash scary

thing and it's going to take two strikes towards you. Isn't it still slowed? Yep. Yeah. It was one action is multi-attack. Oh, it's too. Okay. So that's going to be It's a 14. What's your arm of class? 14. Oh, okay. Whoa, we need to get you some AC. And that's, that's going to be a 13. Second one misses. Okay. But the first one does it. Oh, that's half. This right, this right. That is going to be 17 points of bludgeoning damage. Half? Half to eight. Okay.

And it's still kind of like, it's trying to push their molasses every time it strikes or swings at you. It's going to attempt to shift around, not even noticing Ford there at the moment, around this way. Ford, you do get an attack opportunity against it. I do, amazing. I do. That is 26 to hit. Damn. That hits, roll damage.

Is this considered a monstrosity or a beast? Beast? It is not. It is considered a technically a giant. Gotcha. Eight. Eight. Thirteen points of damage. 13 points of damage. Nice. All right. That finishes your reaction on that. Ogress turns done, not you're up. Okay. I'll hold up the hand crossbow pointed in Yasha's general vicinity and say, I'll finish the job, sister. And I will fire at the ogre. Okay. Oh no! Only a 13. Oh wait, no, it went up. 14. That hits.

Yes. Oger is a big target. Yeah. I think I get all the sneak attack. You do. Oh. Oh. I saw one as good and it was like, oh no. It's 15 plus Fury of the Small, 19.

19 points. Ooh, nice. So as it's kind of looming around, it's struck by Ford, as it's trying to stop, stop around Yasha, trying to pull. away from that situation. At that point you shoot towards the base of its skull. It sticks in and you watch as the left arm kind of like, for a second goes kind of numb, and it has kind of like flex its muscle to snap the bolt in its neck, leaving part of it still lodged in the base of its skull, but at least now it's got kind of the use of its other arm back and goes to clutch onto the club, still moving slowly and sluggish with every movement. All right. All righty. So.

Oh, Jack, go on. That's your action? Yes, I'll say, shit, I missed. Let me try again. And I'll reload and I'll just go pop and shoot the goblin right next to me. Okay. As you do so, it's literally holding the shield in front of it and you just shoot the shield. It's sph-brr. It's just teat-tee.

All right, that finishes your turn, not it? I have movement, but if I move away, no, I'll stick. I'll stick. All right. That finishes your turn. That brings this to Jester and Yasha. Jester. Okay, I'm going to cast sacred flame at the wolf in front of me. All righty.

Wisdom save for him. That's gonna be. It's a Dex. Oh, Sacred Flame. Right, Dex. That's a 13. Does not succeed. Alrighty, roll damage.

2D.8. Oh, five. Damage, Jim. Five points of damage to that. All righty. And then I'm gonna cast for my bonus action, spiritual weapon. Oh, shoot.

Spiritual wept? Wait, what? Here. Oh, you have one. I want it right in front of me, because might as well just have it crash down on the wolf as well. There you go. Roll for a strike on that wolf.

Okay. That is 16. 16 hits. Dada, da, da, da, yeah. Plus four, that's nine points of damage to the wolf. Nine points of damage to the wolf. Club is down. You watch, it's like one of the shoulder breaks. It's barely standing. It's like, damn it.

All right, so I finish your turn? I, yeah, because I can't move. attack me. But he's gonna attack me anyway. Up to you. What you want to do? Could attack Caleb, though. Probably attack me.

I'm gonna stay right there. Okay. Joshua, what are you doing? Right. It's time. Okay, so I'm going to attack the giant big thing. All right, you have disadvantage because you're poison still. Okay.

Do I need to roll for it? You're raging, but you should have to roll twice and take the lower, unless you do reckless and balance it, but. Okay. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do reckless. I'm sorry. Okay. I didn't say that before I rolled, so I'm not going to do it. Okay.

So you know, I roll it again. Okay. What was the first one? It was 16, the first one, and the second one. 16 hits. The second one is... 13. 13 still hits.

Nice. The big target is AC is lower because of the slow spell. It's like super easy to hit. It's like, it's effectively nine right now. Oh, shit. Okay. So, line three. By the way, my last round I should have done 20 points of damage, not 19.

Because I'm level 5. That's true, yeah. Oh, wow. And then. 23 for the first hit? 23 for the first hit? How do you want to do this? Okay, so I'd like to take out my blade and I'm going to put it up to his chest,

and I'm going to grab him on the shoulder, and I'm going to... shoulder and I'm gonna be a yake-out. As you pull over the blade, it kind of pushes up into the clavicle and up into the throat as it emerges actually knocking your bolt out of the body because the blade managed to shove it outside of it and as it slowly gurgles to the ground and collapses the hex is gone, the slow is gone, and the ogre is gone. And that regains nine point nine hit points for me. Nice. Thank you, thank you. All righty. Oh, that's cool. So... You know, Matt's falling apart. I know.

I hit my sleep. It's all good. How will the writers communicate with him? Your identity. I got it. It happened. Oh, so magnetic. Who are you?

Without those, we'll see his feminine wrist. What's wrong with that? All right, so you have another attack if you want to move and attack something else. Okay, so I will move 40 feet. Can I make it to this? Oh, easily. Can you saunter up aside from bow? Bo, as you pummel in, you look over your shoulder and have Yasha arrive, eyes black, giant skeletal wings.

Fuck, shit. Dude, you look dope. I just want to say. Thanks. She just snaps to you. It's fucking hot, let's go. If your effect only happens when you initiate it. It's not happening. Okay, great. Good.

I don't want to freak you out. Okay, so I will attack him now. Alright. Welcome to the world of tanking. One less D6 because it's not the first attack, right? Correct. 2D6 plus 5. Plus 5.

And you do get to deal extra necrotic damage to it equal to your level because of your transformation. Because of the transformation. So it's an additional 5 damage to this. Okay. Oh, shit. On top of the extra 5? So it's plus 10. Okay, so...

Jesus. She's got when you kill this. Oh. One points of damage. Oh. What? What? I guess who?

The other over? Oh shit. Fucking Barbarian. Okay. Okay. All righty. So that finishes your turn. Yes.

I thought she was going to take him out too. All righty. So they've been beaten around quite heavily at this point and it looks like some of them may have been previously wounded for something else. But you have carved a giant chunk out of its torso. That finishes your turn. All right. All right, the wolves go. One of them is still asleep. The other one that's currently being harried by the three of you is going to go ahead and attempt to strike the

tag. There we go. Lollipop. It's going to go ahead and attempt to strike at you. Mm-hmm. Nope, that's going to be a 14. Ah! All righty. At this point, that finished the wolf's turn. The other one is sleeping and unconscious. Top of the round. Bo, you're up. Okay, I'm going to towards this fucking ogre, I'm gonna kind of like do a pole vault situation and lift myself up and then come down with a big old slap. Alrighty. Good, baby. First strike.

Okay, okay, okay. It's 20 total. Nice. For the first one. Go ahead. Okay, that's not good. Five damage. Five damage. Second one.

I'm on his shoulders and I'm like coming down. It's another 20 total. That hits, roll damage. Fucking. Okay, okay, okay, nine damage. All right. Nice. So, whack, whack!

You actually jam it in part of the giant wound, part of its muscles kind of flopping over from where Yasha had struck it. Hit his arms. Hit his ribs like you did with me. Hit his ribs. Oh, okay. Hearing Jester, I'm gonna do Floria blows, which I wasn't gonna do, but hearing Jester, I'm gonna.

All right. Just so fucking inspired. Two more fist strikes. And I'm gonna kind of like leaning off of the ogre do like a pop pop pop up pop into his ribs. All right, two strikes. Okay, first one. Yes, I did. First one is 19.

Second one is 13. Hits. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Mucks. Frican mother, die. Die, die, die, die. Okay. It's everywhere.

It's everywhere. No, first one is the seven, second one is a six. All right, seven and six. Wop-psh-w-push. Nice. Ugh. Damn it! Pop!

Skis-d-d-kish-kish. Kind of like, you're pummeling it, it's torso, and its belly is like, like, m'l-g-bush. Because I'm punching it, I'm going, die. Die! Die! Get this guy.

Yeah, they're gonna flee. This one's just running. You don't have a melee weapon ready. Oh. Because you have your crossbow out? Sure. Is that you next to the album? I mean, I can't use my crossbow as a melee?

No. No, it doesn't work that way. Can I do a hand punch? Sure, I'll let you do that. Buh. Hey! Uh, 20. The strength bonus, not dexterity.

bonus, not dexterity. 20. Okay, that hits. Goadwell damage. Strength bonus. Yes, 17. Oh, 17. So one damage plus your strength modifier. My arm strikes as plus three to hit for some reason. I have no idea why. Okay, what's your strength bono? Your strength modifier? Zero. So you do one one point of damage to it as you slug it in the back of the head and it just runs off the board in this direction. This one is going to go ahead and run. I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it. Yes, you do. Go for it. Yeah, that's 19.

That hits, go to roll damage. That's five points of damage. Five points of damage. Strike past it. It just keeps running and running and running and charges this direction. The ogre right now being surrounded and watching the rest of its fellow's runaway is just kind of backing up and looking at, where? There's a lot of you.

Oh yeah. Thank you. He blocked this in my position. He is going to seeing everything else fleeing. He's going to go ahead and scatter as well. It just runs off the map. All righty. That finishes their go.

Caleb, you're up. Yeah, okay. I am going to start muttering under my breath and stretch out two hands and send two magic missiles, one at the one that ran that way, and two at this one and two at the one that ran that way. Okay. So you're casting at level two?

I'm casting it at three, at level two. Yeah, so two missiles each. All right, so go and roll damage. damage. One of four plus one per missile. Okay, so the one that was near knot is three and seven for that one. All right. It gets hit by both, continues to run.

He's wounded but still alive. Two, three, three, and seven for that one as well. Seven for this one. The one that's running past Molly, the missile strikes. Both missiles hit it from her different sides, and he watches his head just pops open from both sides of the force damage hitting it. And its body runs for like three more steps before it just... with some fun to the ground on its own. And I will just step one.

Okay. That's it. Fishing Kilbs go. Ford, you're up. Molly, you're on deck. Amazing. I'm gonna use my bonus action to cast hex on that tall. Drink of water. Yeah. On that waterfall of ugliness.

Okay. You have your sword in your hand in the shield. Oh, I'll drop the sword. Okay, so you drop the sword. Cast Hex to go ahead and strike this fellow, all righty. And I will send two bursts of Eldrit's blast in its direction. Go for it. That's 13. That hits.

And 16. Hits. Roll damage for reach. Nice. That's eight. And shift six. And 12. You do that twice because you hit twice. Oh.

13. 13 points of damage? How do you want to do this? I'll see them just wailing, wailing on that big fucker, and I just released the Fowler. and just send two across the way at him. Okay, as you see, Bo's been pummeling it, Yasha carved into it, it's looking like it's ready to flee. And as it like turns around this way,

you see this flash of like greenish light out of the corner of its eye. It looks back, as they both impact right in the chest, outside of its shoulder blades in the back, two blasts of crimson, leaving these two smoking holes in its chest that you can partially see through, and it kind of falls back, knocking this tree over in the process. The rest of surviving goblads have seemingly scattered leaving you in the battlefield with one wolf that is unconscious. And one that's attacking me. Take it as a pet. So that finishes Ford's go.

Good deed. Molly you're up. I'm going to I'm going to run towards the horses where they came off to the left and as I passed that that wolf I'm going to take a couple swipes at it. Go for it. J-j-j-j-j-j-z-do-j-z-do. That's an 18-17 roll. I didn't do my third image. So let's just see what that does before I see if I even take a third shot. Whoa.

That's 10, 16, 17, 18 points of damage. The wolf is misted. And I'm just going to keep heading towards the cart to see if that that godlin is still there. Yeah, ma'le. Yep. You get right up next to bow and that's the extent of it there. So cool. All right, that ends your turn, Molly. Overs are done, not. You're up.

Oh, I'm gonna turn and chase the goblin that ran away from me. Okay. You can start just giving chase. All right, you run, you run, you see him. He's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha. So you get up to this point and you can see where he is. And how far away is he? It would have been about 60 feet away from you if he used his action. He was there, and he did both. Yeah, so he's 60 feet away from you, so he's just right where he is, essentially, and you got that far. So he's 30 feet from you.

Okay. With 30 feet, I will take a shot. Go for it. Okay. That's a 20-something. Yeah, that hits. Cone roll damage. Okay.

Just one, right? Seven points of damage. Seven points of damage to him. All right. He has seven from him, yeah, from magic missiles. So that's enough. So he, as you release the crossbow, falls to the ground, is like, breathing hard,

and then kind of like tries to stand up, falls down to its knees. again and then collapses in the ground, no longer moving. Cool. I can't see the other one that went towards the horses, right? Nope, not at the moment. All right. I'm just gonna use my bonus of action to dash closer to the body to see if I can recognize this goblin. Okay, so you move up to it. Yeah. We'll get to that next friend. So I mean for the narrative purposes of this, nothing is currently engaging you in combat. The wolf that is on death

door is currently unconscious in bleeding out from the spell that you gave it. I would I would have said if we'd gotten around to it that if I could go another 30 feet in this direction, if I could still see the last goblin that this way, I would fire off more magic missiles just to finish it. But that's only if I can see it. Make a perception check with disadvantage. All right. Because it is darken at night. Terrible. Six. No, he's gone.

Okay. Dard it off. One survivor made it. So for the purposes of ease here, you've managed to finish off the wolf. It's currently unconscious really quick. quick, like, shh-th from Molly. You're standing right next to it, and it's on the ground. Well, yeah, and I was hitting my way to the, because I saw that one run off to the.

Yeah, I mean, you had the bonus action. Yeah. Because you didn't use, you just run it up and just, yeah. Put it out of its misery. Terrible. So as you guys kind of gather at this point and go to your wounds, the poison still kind of

in your veins for both you and Caleb, around the corner you see there's the horse cart about 30, 40 feet from where you are. and there's one goblin grabbing a bunch of sacks, and it's like, turns around and just sees all of you standing in the clearing. Drop it. It just goes into a full sprint in the opposite direction.

Roll damage. Level one? No, let's do level three. Yeah, come on. Level three. With a vicious mockery too. Four is not necessary. That doesn't go. That is a...

12, so I think it succeeds. It succeeds. That's 20. 20. You watch her money. These... We'll be five missiles. Five missiles.

Like anime Gundam style. Like shh-h-h-h-h-h. It's just... It's just... ...harried repeatedly with these missiles impacting him. Yeah, it's pretty rough. With that silence falls upon the field, your cart regain the goblin

running off kind of spooks the horses a bit, and they pulled the cart another 10 feet or so, but they eventually slow down. Go scrape that up off the ground. Yeah, who wants to go with me to go get our staff? I'm already, I was already on my way there. Yasha? At this point, the wings, like fold and vanish.

Her eyes come back to normal color. The white tips of her hair return. You feel okay? I feel fine. Molly has seen this before if you sometimes startle me out of my sleep, it happens. Sorry, I just got startled and I get mad immediately because I saw him and... You had... Are you an angel?

I don't... You had wings. Yeah, I guess that it's... It just happens, I don't know. Some people have sleep apnea. Yeah. Is that a Gerhawsean thing? Not that I know of. I was the only one who had this thing. I don't know.

At home, you mean you're like the only one of your family that had it? Yeah. You fly? No. Have you tried? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Only when you're really angry. Yeah, if I, you know, sometimes I get really angry. You know, don't you wake up and get off on the wrong side of the cot?

And, you know, just like, if someone startles you awake, I don't know. Caleb in Celestial says, no, but really, are you an angel? Ooh. I reply back in Celestial. Oh, shit. And I say, well, of sorts, I guess. What did you say? What did you say? They're speaking a language.

a language. I didn't know you spoke this language. It's a secret nerdy language you wouldn't understand. Oh, God, what are they talking about? It's really. Oh, such fomo. And it's... Continuing in Celestial. Oh, damn, the same thing.

You must leave. Jess Laura. Just Laura, just Laura! Just Laura! No. Well, I figure you're going to have to explain this a bit, either now or later. Do you want to do it now or later? I think he's hitting on her. I can't tell, but... I mean, I will tell you, but I will tell everyone, it's fine. I just, should we clean up or I don't know something?

She's jestered an awful lot, I don't know. Yeah, maybe she's angry. Her face was angry. Mm-hmm. There's nothing around, right? Persevindzek? Just us. Just us. Just a ten, besides you.

Yeah, you don't see anything. It's going to be relatively alone. I just pull down my spiritual weapon and start looking at soon. It tastes like wolf and ogre. Only the parts that hit the wolf and the ogre. In Celestial, the blue one is getting pouty. We better switch back to common. He seemed passive.

I don't know. Yeah, let's do it because I've... Yeah, we'll talk about it, I promise. I just... Let's just... Oh, we'll talk about it, I promise. Okay. Hello!

Oh! Hello. Hi, it's nice to talk with someone who has, you know, language from... That's... I get to... Yeah. What language is that? Jorhassian, I think?

Yes. Yeah. It's less a Jorahassian language and more one that you, you're not quite certain why you understand it. Yeah, it's a Jorahassian, yeah. So it's amazing that you know. Caleb, you're very. Well, right. Yeah. He's his spy. At this point, my back with all of the gold and all of whatever the sacks that were. Oh, from. Yeah. Did I look at the problem? Everyone's looking very weird. Make an investigation check.

Over 20. Communicated in another language. Is this not the wings? 23. You don't recognize it. Oh, yeah. It was like super echoing. It was like interesting on the body.

The short bows, cimitars, kind of grungy, some of them coated with, experiment and other things to make them nasty where they carve through and infect wounds. What about the big old weapons that the two bruises work? Are they just massive? Large great clubs that are carved on some of the scimitons. on some of the cimentars where they're wearing underwear? No. How is it?

But there are some, what looks like, a few pouches that haven't been spilled or utilized entirely of toxin. Of toxin? Yeah. Can I grab those? With that investigation check, you managed to pull five vials of toxin. Five vials of toxin. Unused. Each one has a single use on some sort of a weapon that could have a weapon.

Five files of toxins. I've got none. I'm going to draw that in my journal. I'm telling you. Go ahead. Bad dragon. All right, I'm going to just rejoin the group. What?

Well, not that that wasn't terribly exciting. Still a crazy dark out. Yeah, it's middle of the night, maybe like one or two in the morning. Thanks for catching that, you two. Yeah. That had snuck up on us. We'd have been super about. Can you imagine what would have happened if they were all over us when we woke up?

Yeah, we would have been paced. Yeah. Caleb, not. Thank you. Did you recognize any of those goblins? I did not. No, this is not my clan at all. Which is not surprising since we've operated not in this area.

Not in this area. Did you hang out with ogres too? No, we did not. We were probably, I've heard of goblins hanging out with ogres before, and I don't think they're too dissimilar, but we didn't. Not. Are you okay?

I think so. Was it weird to fight other goblins? It was very, it was very. It was very rewarding. Oh, you liked it? Yes. I'm only sad that one got away. Not. Do you share the same hatred in yourself?

What do you mean? You seem to hate your kind quite a lot. I don't know. Do I hate myself? No, I'm cool. I'm just, I mean, she had wings, so you want to talk about that instead? Yeah, we can, yeah, hey.

I mean, you seem real excited to hurt your own kind. Well, I just, I don't, I know that I'm a goblin. I just, for as long as I've been alive, I just haven't really felt, you know, comfortable in there. I haven't felt I haven't felt comfortable. I haven't felt comfortable in my skin for as long as I can remember. I just feel like, I don't know,

it feels like I shouldn't be, I don't fit in with them, it's not just that, I just, I feel, this feels wrong. Like I should be in a different body. the way they act and the way they are. It's just, it's not me. They do horrible things to people, and they seem fine with it, but I don't know.

I never felt the same as them. And it's not that I don't, you know, like myself or anything. I like, I think I'm okay. I'm okay, but I just don't like how I feel when I see my hands or my feet. They just feel wrong. I want to be different. Not anyone you were close to. Not in my clan, no.

But there was someone. I think I was telling you before that they give you a job when you can, you know, as a you know, as soon as you're able to do one. And they tried me on so many different jobs, but I was not a soldier, I was not a good cook. I wasn't good at sewing or building. So they stuck me with the torturer.

What? I wasn't the torturer. I was the torturer's assistant. Oh, you were not the torturer. No. So I saw a lot of things, and there was a little, there was a halfling village not far away, and they captured someone from the village, and they wanted me to kill him. But instead, I was kind to him, and he started talking. And my fellow gobbies didn't like that, but they allowed it because I was getting valuable information about where the halflings kept their food and where they went to harvest and where we could attack them. But I became friends with him.

He was nice. What happened to him? Well, I hope he got away. Did you leave before he did? We left together. How old is his name? It's not important. He was just a nice man.

I don't know. He taught me about, he was a chemist. So he taught me about alchemy and liquids and potions and things. and he taught me his language. When he had taught me everything he could, they said to kill him. But I didn't want to. So I got real drunk,

and I created a distraction, and I hope he got away. What was the distraction? I shot one of my fellow goblins in the butt. He yelled a lot. He yelled a lot. And then we ran off in separate directions, and I've been running ever since.

Wow. Where would he go? I assume back to his village. But your goblin friends knew where the village was. Yes, I know, but I don't know. I mean, I can't go to that village. I'll be stones to death. Why? But you helped him.

I'm a goblin. What if we went with you? You could maybe go. What if we cast this guy's person on you? Found your friend. And you could find that he was okay. I mean, we're going the opposite direction. What if after we do this, we go down there and see?

I don't know if we should go back. There's too many bad people around there. What if I run into the tribe? What if someone from the village sees me? They hate goblins. Did you see what Yasha just did though? Yeah, that was freaky-diki. We just killed two ogres and some wolves

and a bunch of other goblins. We could probably do some serious damage to your old mean tribe. Not there are bad people everywhere. I know. Doesn't mean you have to associate yourself with them. And just because, You know, you look like them doesn't mean that you have to be like them.

Yeah, you're one of us now. And aren't we great? Yes. Has that creepy smile again, Bo? I'm trying real hard to not make it super scary. I think it's a good idea to go there when we are finished. I'm really, I'm okay for now. You know, just getting away from them has been wonderful.

And I've met you, Caleb, and you don't seem to care. You know, how I look or who I was. I do not care. I know who you are now. If you don't want to go back there, we don't have to go back there. But if you actually do, don't be afraid to ask, I will go with you. Yeah, I think we all will. I think we're all a little bit of an island of misfits. And knowing all that, you showed a lot of bravery tonight.

Not the brave. Maybe there is a comma. Your comma. That's just, we'll call it a hyphen for now. Gradual steps. And maybe we'll move to an ellipses or something. We're going to our way through sit there. I'm not very sorry we made fun of you eating children.

That's okay. I haven't eaten any children. I have eaten any children. I have no desire to eat children. But I've seen children being eaten. Yeah, they're really, goblins are awful. They're terrible in every way. If you're not good, they just, they cut you or kill you or throw you away. So you just run away?

Mm-hmm, as fast as I could. What got you locked up with this guy? Being me? Yeah. I think I was probably stealing some. some food or something. You told me it was cherry wine. All right, it was booze.

Cherry wine's real good though. But you know, it's not, they're not wrong, right? The people who arrested me are not, they're not incorrect. If you see a goblin, you should kill it on site. Well, no. Maybe not, though. Yes. Maybe some of them are nice like you.

Absolutely not. None of them are. You can't be the only one. I've never met another nice one ever. And I really tried. In your tribe, have you gone to other tribes? No. Maybe you were just in a really shitty tribe.

It feels like I was in a very average tribe. There could be enlightened tribes out there, you know, committed to change in their ways. Well, that would be fine for them. But like I said, I don't. I don't, this is not me. I don't want to be this. You're, that's fine. You're with us.

I'm never going to be cool with this, ever. I've counted you've said not like five times in a circumstance that's not your name, and it's super inspiring in a weird way. It's all like super relevant. Just throwing it out there. The rain begins to come down as one of the slowly encroaching storms,

begins to pour down in the middle of the night. Oh. Well, I'm sleeping underneath the cart. I'm picking up all this stuff. This has been very enlightening. There's probably going to be lightning. Anyone else who wants to join me? I don't know if who all fit.

We'll snuggle. I'm all right, right. Yeah. I'm okay in the rain. Too much water. I am. I'm going to make a little camp underneath thick, I don't know.

I can sleep. I need to sleep. I got into next watch. I can take the first watch. I'd like to stay outside for a little bit. I'll take the first, oh wait. Oh, wait. Who had, did you, what are doing?

I'm Spartacus. Ballroom Pursman cheers for first watch. You got it. I'm just up anyway. I'm going to sleep. Join me into the cart. Oh, alright. Are we on? What's going on?

We're arguing about who's going to take the first one. Yeah, you can sleep in the rain or under the card? We could finish the wash that we didn't really finish. Sure, let's do that. Why don't you take the next one? So, taking the final watch? Yeah. Go ahead and roll perception for you don't know.

A band of time. Disadvantage. Can I just say something short to knock before we switch to the last? Yeah. Sitting in the rain. You know? I know. I never talked about my past for obvious reasons,

and I didn't want questions pointed back at me. Still no pressure on you, but if you ever want to talk more about it, the door is always open for you, not. When you are ready. Thank you, Caleb. I tasted a baby once, just once. I didn't know they were just handing around. a bowl. I didn't know what was in it and then later somebody said there was like, I mean they put a bunch of different meat in there. How was I supposed to know that it was like a goulashy thing?

Baby goulash. Oh, I don't know. Don't judge. Good night. Fall asleep in the mud and rain. What did you roll? Worlders and goblins. Thirteen.

Okay. As you complete the final watch, watch, the rain doesn't subside, the flashes of lightning and the rolling of thunder makes it a bit difficult to the exhaustion of the previous battle, manage just to combat that enough for those of you who want to complete your evening's rest, you do, until eventually the glow of the morning light brings you all to consciousness once more. The rain reduces itself to a drizzle. You gather your materials, do the best you can to warm up, shaking yourself from the cold, damp morning.

gather your cart, slowly head back towards the roadway, and continue your journey towards the LeBend Swamp. That's what, we'll end tonight's episode. Yeah. Five more hours. Five more hours. Just live here. I find out of anything you do tomorrow. I wasn't flying to Canada tomorrow. Oh no, you have a thing? Yeah. Yeah, you're flying with Canada. What is that? Did I miss that in the announcements? I think he did. Don't pay attention. Yeah.

It's too busy with his own. But anyway, thank you guys. We'll pick this up next week on Thursday from there, as we have about a day's worth of travel before you get there. With enough speed, you'll get there before the next dusk. Six more battles before we get there. Oh, yeah, totally. But until then, you guys, have yourself a wonderful week.

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