Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - C2E4 Disparate Pieces

Episode Date: January 14, 2022

The party presents evidence of the devil toad’s corruption at a midnight trial, and Beau confronts an envoy from her past... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years. With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises.

Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Hello everyone and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors, sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.

Welcome, they keep joining us. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we're going to go ahead and do some quick announcements. First and foremost, returning sponsor and longtime partner for this campaign's beginning, all into the foreseeable future, hopefully. D&D be on. They've been awesome for Sam,

did you have a few words you want to say. Guys, hi, Sam Riegel here. It's awards season. Oh, yeah. So tonight I'm going to announce the D&D Beyond Awards. The envelope, please. Paper cut, paper cut, paper cut. Okay, I'm nervous, really nervous.

There's nothing in here. Envelope is... Best discount codes for books in the D&D Beyond Store. The winner is... Beginnings! Beginnings is the discount code. Okay. Best URL on the entire internet.

Oh, the winner is... D&DBeyon.com. Oh, good. Okay, best picture. It's so stupid. La La Land. It's moonlight. Best way to build a blood hunter.

Activate critical role content on dndbion.com. Okay, I'm out of envelopes. Best supporting actor, Sam Riegel. Sam Regal. Best job opening at a D&D related internet company. Front-end developer. I guess they're looking for a front-end developer. Someone will put a URL somewhere on here. Hey, oh, hey. Atchurse.com, I think, is where you can go to the careers tab. But thank you D&D Beyond for being our official, what are they calling it? Sponsor. No, they're the official tool set of critical role.

That's cool, that's cool. That's a set of tools. The first annual award show. Okay. What should we call them the, not the Oscar, the Critters? The Critters. The Critters, the Critters. No, the Curtes.

The Sponsies? The Sponsies. Oh, the Sponcies. That's good. That was fancy. That was strangely manic and desperate. manic and desperate. Those poor apples.

I'm gonna house mail. I mean, is it every award show though? Did you literally write that one in the bathroom six minutes ago? For sure. I still feel like I'm going to win at least two of those. Thank you, Sam. And thank you D&D Beyond. You can find them on D&DBion.com.

That's D, N, the letter ND, beyond.com. All right. So next up, Next up, based on tonight's episode, we'll have next Tuesday at 7pm Pacific Time here on Twitch and Alpha. Talks Machina, our numbers of the cast will come with our fantastic Brian W. Foster to discuss what transpires tonight, and you get to ask questions and submit them. So do so. Yes. Asinine Wisdom next week on Geek and Sony Twitch has a special guest. I believe our very own Sam Riegel will be there to that. You're actually doing something else on the internet?

I always do shows on Geek and Sundry, and this is no, no change. What's the show called again? Has the Nine Wisdom. That's a show that's on this channel? It's a 9 PM on Tuesday, Pacific Time, after Talks Mocky Night. All right, great. Sure. You double dose of Sam Riegel, which is a lot. But I'm playing you didn't know.

We have a new show coming up here featuring the Weave RPG from the Monocle Society called Weave that'll be showing next Wednesday night at 930 Pacific Standard Time here on the Twitch channel. So check it out then. That's a great cast of Amy Dallan, Gene DeVivo, Whitney Moore, Beckett Scott, and Steph Woodburns. So check it out. Hope you like it. Weave is actually really awesome. And I'm excited to see that. The podcast of episode three last week released today. So if you missed last episode of friends who have been trying to keep up just for the podcast, last week's episode is available today for download. So you can go ahead and find it there. Once again, we have issue number four of Critical Role of Ox andocanocating Origins. It's available for download digitally on Comixology, the Dark Horse app, and all the places where find digital comics are sold.

Go get it, rate it, love it. Show us that you're reading it. Burn it. What is it? Not the book, Laura's die. Try to help her choose her dice. Don't. Why would you do that?

You know better. I've already cursed two of them. They're out. No, no, not. All the ones that got selected tonight are shades of pinks and purples and blues, and I think it's lovely. It's like watching a video of guys putting their heads in alligator mouths. Like, why would you do that? It's entertaining for us, but why would you do that?

I'm getting like a lot from it. It's like just, yeah. Let's see. And also, once again, our fantastic charity, 826 LA, if you had the opportunity to either give and help out or donate your time to help teach any of their fantastic classes to help children learn creative writing in environments where it's hard to find that type of tutelage,

it's a great program. Check it out at your local 8th. to six chapter and see if you can help out. Heck yeah. Tell them you want to run the D&D game for him. Yeah. All right, and I think, I think that's it. That was so fast though.

I know. It was good time. Good timing. What about? What about, uh. Comic books out? The comic books out. What about?

What about our appearances coming up? I'm gonna be a back anime this weekend, two days only in Bakersfield, California. And I will talk and I will go out in public. Yay! Yeah. Amazing. Me and Travis. Travis and I.

Travis and I are going to be at, yay, at Amel City Comic Con, Con, the first weekend in March. That's right. And Matt. Seattle, Compton. That's right, and then I'll be at Lexington Comic and ToyCon in Lexington, Kentucky. That is March 9th, the 11th, and I'll be at Odifest in Calgary up north, May 18th to the 20th. I'll keep it within a few months for the love. I'm sorry.

And then ACON in Texas, June 7th to the 10th. So if you're anywhere near those regions, we've, and that's before, I'm gonna take this off the sheet for the future. You said that a lot now. Hey, it's not my job to update that sheet. Anyway, guys, I'll remember this. With the announced, you should check out,

go for, sorry, you should go check out good Fortnite Kevin on Alpha. It's a morning show and it's funny and it's dumb. It's super meta. There you go. Super meta funny dumb show. Super meta. Super meta funny isn't a show.

Okay, that's it. All right. It appears the dice have been culled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're on the last one, so we're solid. Then, you're all real good. I need more D-6s. Let's go ahead and dive into tonight's episode.

No, surely not, no. Of Critical Rock. Welcome back. So, last we left off, our group of adventurers had found their various individual fates come together here in the city of Trostenwald, where they had attended a carnival that had blown into town, had watched a horrible occurrence happen

where one of the older attendees had seemingly transformed to this terrifying zombie creature. Upon defeating it, you were all put under investigation as possible culprits for the reason that it occurred. In trying to then wander the city to investigate and try and clear your name, you eventually found that there was a fiend hiding amongst these carnival workers. This large devil-like toad creature, which through some research you had found to actually be called a Nargolid, had killed two more of the guards, leaving for you to fend with their transformed forms, and then

fled deep into the center of the Oostalak Lake. Thank you for the punctuation. Upon gathering your supplies after a night's rest, you managed to, through the trade of a bottle of wine, get passage across the lake onto the central island, which at one time housed the abode of a witch that had long collapsed. Waiting for nightfall, you approached the center of the grove that existed there in the island, and found near this ruin this same fiendish nergolid as well as Toya, the 12thew, 12-year-old dwarf girl who had been affixed to him for the performances in the carnival. You did battle with this large fiendish entity who summoned a cluster of imps and managed to knock a few of you pretty heavily

to the ground before you finished it off. We left off as you all were finishing licking your wounds, catching your breath, and now as the moonlit night, gets its darkest in the sky, you figure out what the next step is in gathering means of absolving yourselves of the suspicion.

So, as you've all now taken a moment to yourselves, you can hear the sound of the nearby crickets getting more and more deafening as the silence kind of crawls over the center of the lake. Toya, the young girl, still lies unconscious, and the remains of the Devil Toad still partially burnt from the final blow delivered by Ford, remains mostly intact above its shoulders, head and its legs.

So, what would you like to do? We're all fucked up. Does anybody need any healing? Are you alive? Are you alive? We're up, but just kind of barely. Yeah. You need some?

I'm really shabby at the moment. Oh, that's too bad because I don't have any spouse left. That's good. Let's go back and talk to the cops. Should we do something with this body, though? I think we need to bring it. I think we're going to need a trophy. What about just its head? I don't do. It's a big head. It might be all we can take.

I don't know if it will fit on the boat. Would it fit on the boat that we came out on? How much of the body? The whole body. The whole body, with all of you probably, I can't. I could probably fit it. It doesn't have the usual. You can probably fit it. How much is the head? The head, it could probably do.

But the full body, I'd have to make a few ores. I'm going to give the body a quick search too, just to see if there's anything. You already did? Oh, we already did. Yeah, I got a bunch of rings. Oh, you saw it. Do I recognize any of these rings? No, you do not.

All right. That's disturbing. I don't want to. Let's, yeah, I'm going to. Has the head been damaged at all, or is it mostly intact? It's mostly intact. There are a few gashes on it from just the general fray, but for the most part, it's still a solid head.

Molly, that's what she said. You got them impressive swords. You want to do some hacking? I suppose I should. Say you have a pretty impressive sword, too. I'm going to clean up the, try and carve off the head. Okay, so it's a time. Not only is the exterior of its flesh blubbery, and it's a heavy rubber-like substance

and is glistening with whatever kind of mucous-like liquid it naturally produces, but then beneath it the muscle sinew is extremely tough. So it takes you the better part of about 20 or so minutes to finally get the head entirely off the rest of the torso. And it weighs enough to the point where you're going to need one or two other hands to get it anywhere. That's an artist at work right there. Oh yeah, no, this is as far as I go on this one. That's way too heavy for me. Yeah, that's all you, blue.

And I'll help you off. I'm gonna grab Toya. Is Toya waking up at all? No, Toya is passed out. You have to try and rouse her if you want. It's probably best not to wake her up while we're carrying this head around. I think that's a very good idea. I'm just gonna burn.

Yeah, is this frightening? And the imps burn away. Yes, Nick Nash. Does he have hair? What are we carrying him by? Yeah, what are we carrying him by? I mean, what you'll see is along kind of the brow line, there are these small holes that either could be breathing holes. So you would have to either carry it from there or under the socket or under the jaw or...

That's what you want to stick your finger in. Yeah, totally. The mucus hole. I kind of, I grab the jaw and I say, hey, hey, Jester. You know what I did. I did share meals with this person. for two straight years. Never mind, I'm walking away. Oh yeah, we are kind of fucking with his old coat with his face.

I'm already walked away. I'm trying to kid, I was walking to the boat. Sorry, sorry. Sorry. Okay. Caleb just reched into the grass. It's fucking bad. Oh shit.

All right, let's get ready. You're the worst. You're all the worst. All right, as you're dragging the... Ford, I gave you the bag of skin, though, so don't forget you have that. I have it. You have the bag of skin. I got the bag of skin.

I'm going to salt it and hang it out to drag. I also, if it will help tomorrow or today, what time is it? It's the middle of the night, isn't it? Yeah, you guys approached it about just after dusk, so it's maybe the slow moving in there, the combat and the rest afterward it's probably close to 10 p.m. I know exactly what time it is, don't I? Yeah. Stop that.

Do you know exactly the time? One down. He's just very smart. It's just something I've always been able to, why is everybody looking at me like, who? Lerunken. At this point, Molly, as you're ahead of the rest of the group and you're making your way through the trees, Toya begins to stir in your grasp.

She's kind of, her eyes kind of open a bit as you're kind of holding her and she looks up at you with these confused and lulling around in the world. the sockets from it before they see you and clarify. Molly? I know, dear. Come on, just, Steve, been through a bit. There's been some bad business. What happened?

A friend turned on us, but it's going to be all right. I'm gonna get you home, alright. Wait, where's Kyle Reed? No, no, no. And she starts trying to fight your grasp. Yeah, no, just it's... I'll explain it later. She's gonna try and break free to your grasp, Marys.

All right. Are you going to attempt to hold on to her? Oh, yeah. How far away are they from the rest of us? Well, you guys, well, you guys, well, you guys, been doing all this, he's gone on ahead, so he's probably a good 40, 50 feet ahead. All right, so go ahead and roll an athletics check. You're a monster.

Actually. Oh no. Tell me you did it. Tell me you do it. No, no, it's not that bad. I was going to double check real fast. Oh, wow, wow. It looked like a one from this angle.

So pretty terrible. Pretty much. Pretty much. Level two. Level two. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You were rolling bed on this the last game. You just need to stop rolling that one. Yeah, that dice needs to go away. All right. You guys have stuff. I got some new stuff coming in. All right. It's coming across the border.

You're going to choose strength or acrobatics, I recall. Coming in from the Fay Wild. Canadian House. You're going to choose athletics or acrobatts. Oh. Dwight, can I re-roll? No. Oh, well, then that's nine. Well, that still beats her.

She rolled a five. Oh, good. All right. One and a double check. So she's like screaming, as you kind of pulled it back, she tries to fight for a second and then kind of goes limp in your grasp a bit and goes, I'm scary. I know. It's going to be a bit rough, but it was for the best.

I'm so sorry. Some people just turned. I'm so sorry. What happened? I don't... He got sick. There was something inside him. There was something inside him. There was something that just made him do some bad things, but it had to be taken care of. You're going to be all right.

She just gets really quiet for a second. You guys make your way. You get to the boat, and the gentleman earlier that you had passed the wine off to is sitting there waiting. It's like a small pouch that's open with some dried meats. He's just kind of chewing on as he's waiting and as you guys walk it. Oh, ah, I see you're finished. What in the hell is there? Move, no, move. We told you we were having a party, man. I was just about to suggest covering that up, but you know, all cards on the table. He grabs his bag of dried meat and pulls it up and kind of backs up.

I didn't know. What is that? What did you do? What is that? I said we were going to be doing some frog again. The biggest frog you've ever seen. There's a pause before this tiny screeching sound against to emit. This is very high-pitched, barely able to be audible squeak as Toya just begins to scream. I take off my cloak and I covered the head with it. I was trying to keep her away from that. It's on time.

It was hard to keep her away from that. Oh man. Can I... We literally cut the head up, Barney, and just shoved at your face. and shoved in her face. Yeah, yeah. I will give you. Barney was making sense.

The Barney that had been raising her, yes. Really take that in. It's off to a great start. Hey, you know, I was a great kid. So after Jester throws her cloak over Toya. No, no, over toya, over the head. Over the head, okay. I'm just kind of, I'm trying to just keep her, keep her quiet.

She's just sobbing in your arm at this point. You feel like her body's shaking. against your grasp. Oh, I feel so bad. You should. Poor girl. Come on. I'm gonna take her to the front of the boat and keep her far away from all that. Okay. I pull forward away for a moment, about 10 or 15 feet away. Um, so this man in the boat has seen all of you who are supposed to be under house arrest so we cannot have him talking to the authorities. Should we kill him? Jeez! I'm sorry.

Come here, come here. I have a good feeling that this guy's a man of outstanding nature. I'm sure he'll just keep it to himself. Oh, that's very trusting. Yeah, of course. We gave him one bottle of wine. That's not very much. We have another bottle, don't we?

Yes. Oh, you're here too now. Great, it's a party. I mean, look, we can also toss him a little bit of cold if we think it would make him. Jake, forget the night. Well, after all, we came to him, right? I would prefer not to use any violence. I'm not suggesting that, but it's either violence

or giving him a little something, you know? What makes you think he's gonna go talk to the authorities? You wanna leave it a chance? Who cares? This is a small town, Beau. Everyone talks to everyone. You taught us that. I did, but everyone also hated the circus.

Molly, do you want to join this conversation? I've been listening, I just pull out a gold coin and just say, give him this. And maybe one more or two more? I toss, I pull two out as well. I'll pull three out. So that's like six gold. He's recessed to the very back of his boat and it's just kind of like wide-eyed as you approach. You're right.

Coin is a good idea. Go charm and flirt. You're very charming. Yeah, here. And you got fishermen. You've got fishermen vibe, language. Everybody likes you. Wait a minute, how long that fight take? Oh, the rest? Oh yeah, no, you've returned in your normal half fork form.

Oh, cool. Okay. There was an old man with us before. Now there's a little girl. It's all coming full circle. Maybe we give them an extra bottle of wine and you go talk to him. Yeah, so walking up to the boat,

the thing of it is, going. Collecting it as I go. The thing of it is, we've just We've just done Trostenwald. What was that? Never mind. It's my tile.

I don't keep it. We have just done Trostenwald a great service. There was an unsavory element that was in the... Did you know the circus was in town? Doesn't matter. There was a bad fellow. There's his head with them. And it's no fault of theirs.

You know, you pick weird folk up on the road in the circus. Isn't that right, Mali Mock? No, yeah, look. Yeah. He reaches over and grabs the oar from the side and kind of lifts the cloak a bit off the face. You don't want to, that's just going to rile you up. You don't, you know, that's a bad idea. It doesn't look like a savory creature. It wasn't.

No. Trust us. Very bad. Took a lot out of us. But the situation in town is a little political in a way. So we're going to take this thing out of here and I'm going to go and I'm going to go reported to the authorities, but we don't really want to create, you know, a stir, frighten people here. So I hope you will take this.

We like to be unsung heroes, you know, like superheroes, secret identities. Yeah, we're like an underground anonymous activist group. Yeah, that's like helps people. But if everyone knows who we are, it'll be much harder to fight all the crime. Try to focus on the gold. He like slowly reaches and just kind of takes it from your hand. All right. I trust it was a bad thing. So I'm gonna take you back.

And then you promise I'll never see you again. That is the play. We'll try really, really hard to not let you see us. If you see us, we won't make eye contact. We'll just keep walking. We'll pretend we don't know you. That includes the gobbler. I was never here.

We never had this conversation. conversation. She's a half-link. He glances over and think a closer look. I'm very ugly for a half-ling. Let's just get back to shore. He grabs the oar, takes the bottle of wine that he had mostly drunk by himself before, and just polishes it off in one series of gulps.

That's fair. Don't boat drunk! So, as you all gather up under the ship, he begins to paddle you back towards the western shore. of the Eustluck to the outskirts of Tristanwald. So when we get to the shore, we should probably like split up. Like, how are we going to get this giant head to the adornings? Maybe, oh, I got an idea. Why don't you go get a wagon as soon as we get to shore?

Yeah. And we'll help you load it onto the wagon, and then you just take it on in yourself. It's a shame we didn't just get rid of a wagon not more than one night ago. Yeah. Why do we need to take it with us, us traipsing through Tavis? with a giant head, seems like it would draw a focus. Why don't we just put it somewhere and send the authorities out here to find it later? Someone else may get to it or something might happen? What are they going to do with it? It's a big head. It's a big head. I could just stay guard as a crown's guard next to it. Yeah.

What could people do with the head of a creature like this? What can people do with the head of a creature like this? Who knows? What I know? They could make a lot of soup? They could turn it in for, I mean, there's a lot of poor folk here. If they had a large looking odd creature, that's worth some gold. We could hide it. Maybe some of us have skills to hide things. I think Fjord had a good idea, which is if you can disguise yourself as a Crown Scout again,

you wait with it, you guys get back to the tavern. Yeah. And you can go in a lot of the authorities. Now here's the thing. I may be speaking out of town. I know I don't know you very well, but it feels like the thing that we all share in common here is that we don't wish to make a, maybe not you, make a big splash. Agreed. The less attention the better. Less attention to better.

Well, you know, whatever. The less attention, the better. For the moment. Okay, so maybe I'm 70 to 80% correct, but we're all in this together. And gold. I like getting paid. We need to get this one back to the circus too. You might be helpful for that. So I don't want to make a big thing. I'm going to go to the authorities.

My keen mind tells me that woman's name was. Oh, the, sorry. Yeah, the one who wanted to go eat. Yes, you're talking about, Lawmaster. Norda. Norda? Norda.

So I just want to go to her and just, you know, citizen's arrest kind of thing. kind of thing, keep it quiet, don't need big accolades, we'll take gold. And then I'll bring that back and we can divvy that up. That's no problem. As soon as other Crowns Guard arrived with Norda and the rest of whoever you bring to the scene, maybe I can go with you and help return to him. You disappear quickly because if you get drawn into that investigation it would be bad. Right, and if nobody recognizes you, do you remember any of the guards that were in town that you could make your

look like specifically. Oh. What was that guy's name? What were the two guards that keep coming to the tavern? Oh, wait, wait, wait. We wrote their names down. Jonas and Lucas. Oh.

Or the Jonas Brothers. They're not related at all. They're not related at all. DM question. The two zombified back at the circus tents. Were they like burned to a crisp beyond recognition? One of them was. Okay.

And they have been to be. discovered. Yeah, but was he recognizable? Like, did we leave him looking like, you know, that dude at the end of the last crusade after he drank the wrong cup? With some time he could be identified. Okay. Okay, well, the Jonas Brothers is, friends.

All right, we should, um... Just to game this out. You, Caleb, someone who is not suspected of a crime, is going to bring the severed head of a member of the circus to the police. No, he's going to go to the police and bring them to the head. Either way, you, Caleb, someone who was not suspected of a crime, is going to point the police to the severed head of a member of the circus with no evidence showing what that thing was or that it was evil, and that will somehow not implicate other people who are not with us at the time. How is this going to prove their innocence, just showing a head? Well, they already believe.

that the circus is terrible. I think they were just going... Greetings adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles, and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. I'll take it. And that means I've been outside a lot more. Walking around, occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes, traveling a bit. You know the vibe. And after doing some spring cleaning, my wardrobe, I gotta say, looking a little bit sad. I want clothes that can keep up with me and my son,

but updating my wardrobe every spring sounds pretty expensive. So that's why I wound up signing up for Fabletics as a VIP. It let me overhaul my springtime outfits without obliterating my bank account. New VIPs unlock major savings on that first purchase, so trying new fits feels way more doable. When I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80% off everything. It made it easy to grab a few new pieces without overthinking it.

And the quality really surprised me. Everything feels premium and soft and breathable, but you're not paying those premium prices. What I like most, though, is how versatile everything is. You've got stuff you can work out in, but also wear out. There's matching sets, lightweight hoodies, joggers, teas, you name it. The kind of stuff you can throw on in the morning and not worry about later. When I'm at home, my favorite thing to pull on is the oversized hoodie. It's so comfy I could just live in it 24-7.

It's perfect for walking my dog on like a chilly night. But what I'm out and about, I've really been loving the ribbed Johnny Collar polo. It makes me look like I should be taking a high-powered meeting by the pool at the White Lotus, but hopefully with less murder involved. I don't know. It's insanely comfortable. I highly recommend it. So shop now at fabletics.com slash critical role to get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a quick style quiz and be sure to select critical role when prompted to unlock your 70 to 80% off. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash critical role for 72.

80% off everything as a new VIP. And now, on to the show. Greetings, adventurers. Lately, I've been getting a bit more intentional about what I wear from day today, because instead of just falling out of whatever laundry baskets nearby, I've been leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable, but still put together because it just makes getting dressed simpler when I have a plan. Quince has been my go-to to help with that, because the fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without me needing to overthink it. And Quintz has all the wardrobe staples you need for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from just $34. They're lightweight, they're breathable, they're comfortable,

your legs and torso will thank you and you will still look put together. And clean 100% Pima Cotton Tees with a softness. Well, you got to feel that to believe it. Believe you me. Their pants also hit that same balance. They're relaxed, they're comfortable, but still polished enough to wear basically anywhere. And everything's priced between 50 and 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're getting premium materials without the markup. And since spring is here in Los Angeles, a brief period where it's 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees, I spruced up my wardrobe with a pair of the comfort stretch traveler five pocket pants and the heritage wash denim shirt. Not only do they feel great,

but I unequivocally look good as hell while wearing them. That's just science. So refresh your every day with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.com slash critical roll for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash critical roll for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash critical role. We're going to confirm their own suspicions.

Also, Toya. If she would actually speak honestly, she would absolve all of us. Actually, I think Bo makes a very good point. Without Toya's testimony, we're in trouble. I'm hoping Toya will. Well, that's a sticky situation, because what if she talks about my friends who are there with me? She knows what to say when guards are asking questions. She looked like she knows how to go off like a siren. She's had a bad night. I'm at one hit point, I understand. But she'll...

We'll have a talk. We'll get her to... Get us to some people who can calm her down and make sure she remembers how we take care of each other. There's something you want to ask me. I'm right here. You glance at you all in this boat as it's making its way across the Ustallah.

Sorry, dear. I was hoping that we didn't have to have this conversation in front of strangers. Can someone please explain to me what's going on? Can you explain to us maybe your relationship with Cowry, if that was his name? What was his name? I mean that that's his name that I've ever known.

Okay, let's talk about the killing part though, you know? I don't know anything about that. Well. When we did the show the other night and that horrible man, It turns out that that was, Kari did that. I don't know why, but something snapped. And he's hurt and killed a lot of people

and we think that maybe he's been making you sick too. Have you ever heard him say Norgalid? No. Where's Gustav? Gustav is having trouble with the authorities, and we're gonna need to all work together to save him. Yeah, unfortunately, the authorities think the Gustav and the circus are responsible for what happened.

And actually, it's just, it's just Cali. He wasn't what you thought he was, I'm afraid. Twins are being the twins, Orna, being Orna, but I think we can save everybody. We just need to take care of each other. He was my friend, though. Child, um, how did you work? How did you go so close to him?

Gustav put us together for our act. Yes. And he protected me and just felt safe around him. He didn't let anybody get too close I didn't want to. Did he communicate with you in some way? He talked. He talked. What did you talk about?

Talked about everybody else in the family. talked about how I missed not having a family. He didn't talk about himself much, but it was mainly just little games. Did he teach you how to sing to affect people's minds? No, that was how I got by before I met these guys. I am sure this is painful for you. You are young.

Sometimes people we feel we know can be someone else. And I regrettably, this is one of those instances. He was a dangerous thing, and it is very important that this is buried here. You want to travel on with the circus and with Mollymoc and your friends. That thing tried to kill us. It did kill things in Trostenwold.

And who knows what it would have done to you, child? Persuasion check. No, it's not good. It's not good. I felt it. It's very good. It is only a six. It rolled very low.

As you're talking to her, her eyes keep flickering off of your face and over towards bow, and you watch her kind of curl back into herself and just get quiet. It might do. It might do for you to apologize. Sorry. Sorry for what?

Bow. Really, Jester? Really? No, I wanna hear of this too. I'm really. Sorry for choking you with my stick. Real. I thought that was better than I was telling me.

Brated tea between the two. Oh, oh. And I'll never do it again. I'll never do it again. You know, as long as you know, you don't try that again, of course, I guess. It was only because Kauri was trying to kill us, and she was afraid that you were helping him. Yeah, I wasn't trying to hurt you. I was just trying to get you to stop. singing, but it was like so abrasive.

You know how people outside can be. The mean girl was just afraid of you, and we're gonna let her go on this one. I'm tired. Yeah, I know. Let's get you home, okay? She kind of leans into you, Molly, and after a few minutes, she just kind of falls asleep against you. That went well, I think.

Choked you with my stick? I did. That is what she did. You know? She apologized for exactly what she did. certainly memorable. All right. We're here. The boat hits the edge of the dock. He hops off and pulls the rope up and slowly manages the boat over to the side of the dock, ties it up. How many people are around the dock right now? At this point, there's no

boats that are at the dock that are being manned. There are a few boats out on the water that you kind of saw in the distance. There are some night fishermen. but there's nobody immediately in the vicinity. Can I move, I'm gonna hop off the boat and break eye contact with the captain of the boat so that I can disguise self. Okay. And I talk to him while you do that. So you have your wine, you have your gold, thank you very much.

He's much appreciated. It was a lovely trip. Yes, that's fine. Just please get out of my boat. Yeah. Who goes there? What is this? What have you brought? Oh, I have felled a beast. They got in my boat.

Are you responsible for this? No, they took over my boat and forced me to take them to the Middle Island there. You will not take credit for my kill. I have killed this thing, and I wanted to be watched. I'm going to the authorities. We'll bring them back and get this sorted. It's a horrifying looking creature. You are to be commended for your bravery.

And our Master Nauda will want to know about this immediately. You weren't here. Make a deception check with advantage. Ooh. Yeah. This is so weird. I'm just holding bowling ball. That's what I'm picturing, by the way.

It's 21. No, 20. 20. He just, I want nothing to do with this. Good night. And he kind of helps each of you quickly get off the back. boat ties and locks it up and then just makes a beeline. We'll come to your house with your share of the reward. All right. Can't waste any time.

Can I love the head up over the side of the boat. Make a strength check. Monster calves. Oh no. You're strong, though. You're strong. Are you? Are you? I'm strong.

You need to roll higher than a three. Oh, B. Eight. You get it part way up, and then sliding back into the boat, and it kind of like plops into the boat and it goes, woo-v-v-v-v-v, and you kind of have to catch yourself. It's terrifying. Oh, my, I need help. It's still covered, those words, you can't see what we're doing.

It's covered with my cloak. By the way, it's like a little tiny cloak. It was like a half cape last one. It's like a napkin on a buffalo. A doily on a couch. A wedding thing. It's going to squish you. That's all right. I'm strong.

One two, three, hoi y'all! Eventually you guys get it up onto the dock. Oh, that's good. All right, so. Molly, do you intend to keep to her here, or do you need to take her back? She did her right back. No one can know that she's been anywhere. That is correct.

And take and sequester her with the family so that not a peep gets out. Okay, we'll explain to her what needs to be done. And how do we trust that you all won't skip town in the middle of the night? We still have people. in the lock-up. Mustafa's in jail still. So? Some people are loyal.

And I have to show back up with you people anyway. So I'm gonna get her as quickly as possible. And the rest you guys are doing with... Who is not very stealthy here? I'll keep you watch over the toad head. I have a plus six to myself. I would not say no to it before I take off. We're not sneaking anywhere.

Oh, that's true. You're sneaking back to the prom. Okay, I'll give you a nice little blessing. You want to stay with your new friend. You can't come to. I'm not coming with you. Not this time. It's you know why.

But what if you're in trouble? You're very hurt. You've had a terrible night. Listen, if any problem should arise, I will send Frumkin straight away to you. Unless you're dead. No one's gonna be around to save you if you get into trouble. I am almost dead already. Yeah, that's not good. That's not comforting, Caleb.

Not. This is what we... This is what I talked to you about the other night. These are our friends. And we're going to sort this out and figure out what we do next. So it has been you and me, now it is you and me and them. Okay, so you're with your blue friend here. And I'll be back, I'm just going to have a conversation, and we have gotten out of prisons before you and I, so I'm not worried about that. Her hands are very warm.

I'm warm-blooded. Well, she was just holding the throbbing head. You were, too. That's true, but I didn't have my fingers in the holes. the head, sir, good sir, guardman? It's fucking me, right? I mean, we know it's still in me. I'm right here.

Oh, are we still, oh, we're not R-Ping still. We're not. No, not yet. You can do what you want. Should I make my cloak here or should I take it with me? Sure, I'll make a dramatic flourish up. No, let's see. But just make sure you bring it back home.

Ah, I feel like the cloak is like, try. Let's cover it with leaves or something. Yeah, take it with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. pretty kind of pink and lavender.

No, it's green, it's green. I'm sorry, the green. I haven't looked at the art. Well, it's not tough. The moonlight light makes everything sort of look purple. Working on it. And that's canon. All right, go quickly.

Okay, okay, we stealth away. All right, what is my stealth bonus now? Oh, you just get advantage. We'll get you in just a second. Rest of you guys make stealth check, please. I don't need to because I'm just picking strong. But those few who are going to be right back. 10.

So that's 10. That's 10. Seven. Seven. Oh. 26. Yep. That's my girl.

Okay. Before. Sorting did not go well today. Before we get to you, as you guys make your way back to the nestled nook inn, you come to the intersection where the alleyway leads you back toward the rope you had originally let down was placed. The rope is to the rope is to the rope. still there in the darkness, and as you make your way into the alley, voice goes, uh, excuse me, and you three of you glance over and you see a crown's guard at the end of the alley that's currently just there with his arms crossed. Can I help you?

Is I back to him still? He's kind of to decide that you guys are like all looking up with the rope now and he's to the right of you. Can I, is still dark out? Yes, it's close to midnight at this time. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Does anybody see on my shoe that dropped earlier? I would like for you to make it a Mr. Rogers.

I would like for you to make an inception check with disadvantage, please. My shoe? Eight. So as you're, as bows on the ground, frantically searching for his shoe and not there in the darkness, the guard with his arm's crotch, just goes, and he begins to walk and approach you as two more guards close off the other side of the alley, and they begin to come on. Do you have a- Too far? Oh, I drop one of those rings.

Drop a ring, drop a ring. What, it's not a shoe, I drop a ring. Wait, did we take a short rest when we were on the boat? No. To get across, I would say allow a short rest. Okay, I'm gonna cast invoke duplicity behind the guard. What is that? Make a slight a hand check to see if they don't notice you suddenly casting a spell,

or a spell like effect, I would say. Please, please, please. Hey! Okay, so you invoke duplicity. Another version of you appears behind one of three guards. What are you doing? She's going to, if she doesn't make a sound, does she? Let's double check this new ability that I'm going to.

I don't think she makes any noise. Can she tap? If she can catch through her, then I can imagine she can make contact. We'll find out. She casts on touch. She can cast, I don't think she could touch. They can move through her. An illusory duplicate of yourself.

It is an illusion. It does not, it cannot make actually physical contact anything. Well, if she's behind one of the guards, then two of the other guards can see her. Sure. So we took a short rest on the third rest. I'll say the boat across the river, sure. So if you want to like hit dice it up. You can roll one hit down.

He's rolling commando. Simultaneous, so we'll get back. So, anyway. Oh, right, you're right. You invoked duplicity in you up here behind this. So my duplicate is going to jump up and down and start spilling her arms and then run down the alley around the building. Okay.

Oh, Jesus. They've killed these fucking guards, don't we? No. No. The guard sees something quickly dart into the shadows and continues walking towards Oh, come on! Just go with it, go with it. Did you see that? Did you see that behind you?

Look over here. The guard approaches and goes, so it seems that you have been out and about when you were supposed to be within the inn. Found it! The ring, I dropped her ring. She calls it a shoe, she calls it a shoe. We're still teaching her common. I like to wear them on my toes. Three more guards have now approached from the front of the building, and they approach

them again pulling out manacles and chades and say, we're enough to take you to the stockade. Oh, please don't. Really, we just left the building because we wanted to go. You're being locked up right now as we speak. This is the stupidest thing. So stupid. Little too. Do I have to go to? Dogmite.

Oh yeah. I was just a bystander. I was walking down here and I saw these. These two ruffians and I was going to go get help. Make a deception check. It's actually true. She wasn't with us. Zero. Oh, shit.

What? Three minus three is zero. That went into my notes. Oh, Joe, Joe. A brave new world. So as you're telling him this, your mask goes, He goes, Horace it creature!

We're gonna die from bad paperwork. Literally, we're gonna die from bad paperwork. And so you both are put in chains, you're put in chains both arms and legs. Oh, that's just mean. Racism. And they bring you over to the stockade. Oh. Mollin Mock.

I need you to make a stealth check with advantage. advantage. I love it. 13. Okay. Okay. You guys slowly make your way kind of through the low grass over towards where the outside of the carnival is. As you approach, you can see there's about five Crowns Guard that are making rounds around the outside.

It looks like where previously they had been keeping watch over the people that were there since the murder of two of their own. it's kind of heightened the intensity of the watch. So it looks like it's fairly well-watched. You get the sense at a distance that you have a hard time getting in there. I mean, you can try and sneak her in and sneak out, but it seems kind of dangerous. Oh, shit. So not even a good push to get her underneath

just back into one of the tents or no? You can try. Yeah, I don't know. They're caught. Do I? No, you have no idea. Yep, let's... All right. Let's all I get caught. I'm going to see.

I'm going to try. and wait for an advantageous moment. I'm not going to do. Which I'm going to allow you to do. So you kind of stay outside of the, outskirts of the torchlight, the torchlight, the very front of the tent, the back of the tent. The fire of the actual encampment has gone out, because there's, from what it looks like, you don't see any other Carnalph members. The sisters ran. They fled. You don't see any sign of Desmond or not. So go ahead and make one more self-check to the two of you with advantage, because you still the ability. Is it the cusp end of it, though?

Ooh. 22. Oh, 22. Okay. So you managed to pace yourself, just carefully wait for the right moment, dart out of the grass, having her under your arm, and she's like, what's going? You remember? Nothing happened, fine orna. You didn't see me. You just hid and waited and you didn't know that anything was wrong. Just people ask, unless you hear from me, you hear from me, me, you don't know anything. You slip around the tent, back out. None the wiser. I'm going to start heading back to the inn. Okay, so we go back to the inn. You too? You're just waiting? No, I'm not waiting. I'm going to see Noda. So I'll see you shortly.

You ready, will. Okay. So you make your way to the stockade. Yeah. As you approach and make your way into the interior, the two Crowns Guard at the front seat. Hold, what's your business? Excuse me, I, and I lurched and prop myself up against the wall and push back. Excuse me, I have just had a very harrowing night. I need to- You've been drinking.

You get me your order this very minute and I will tell you what has happened with this circus and in this town, and don't keep me waiting another minute. Bleeding out here, arshloch. Make an intimidation check. Nice. Oh, come on.

Just keep it in the... Yeah, well, I wish I'd go on with that. It was great there, but it's not great here. That is nine. It is indeed. He kind of sits there and glare is down at you for a second, and you're posturing this filthy, scruffy man in a coat that wandered up out of nowhere, covered a little bit of his own blood.

Word a lot. Yeah. Just kind of looks down at you for a second. Sorry, she's done for the night. They keep regular hours here. Excuse me. There are very good people being held under house arrest at the tavern right now. They are innocent.

I have evidence that I can show her. This whole thing can be solved now. This whole thing can be solved first thing in the morning. Why don't you go ahead and sleep it off? Have some water. Come back when you're feeling a little more Yourself. I draw back in flames, burst forth.

Look him in the eye. I will go away. Get the message to her that the head of the circus frog is at the docks waiting for her inspection. At this point, you hear a couple voices in the inside, say, good night, good night. And you see as a cloaked figure exits the front. doorway, roughly about four and a half foot tall stocky.

Yeah. Norda is off the clock and is currently leaving for the evening to return to her home. There is a circus toads remains at the docks. I would like to put these towns fears to rest and I am looking for... What's the name? Yorda. Norda. Norda. Norda. In.

Right? Yeah. There's Norda and then Yorda. Because I like to make it nice confusing play. Liam's memory is really spotty, but Caleb's is rock solid. It's funny. It's funny. When you spell things on paper, they seem so much different.

You say them out loud, they're like, ah, they're very similar. The figure kind of stops and turns, and you hear this audible, and the figure kind of waddles over towards you and pulls the hood back, and it's Nordic's, All right, so what's this about a froghead? Thank goodness, thank you gentlemen. Forgive me, I can see that you're trying to get yourself home to bed. That would be preferable, eh? Yes.

You can see like bags under her eyes. She's had a long day. Her hair is a bit frazzled, and she looks like she's just waiting for you to finish. You're very aware that there are people at the nestled nook under house arrest by your order. They are innocent and I'm not. I can prove it and I would like to end things as quickly as possible. I have killed one of the circus folk this evening. Now this'll be real interesting.

She looks past you and you kind of follow her eye line and there you hear the sound of chains as a handful of Crowns Guard with Jester, Boe and knot and manacles approach from behind. These ones you're talking about, right? Help, help, help. Help. Funny story. Yes, these other people I was talking about.

Nothing has changed, however, and I am only asking to take another ten minutes of your time to walk to the dock. One of the performers has been killed this evening. And I have done it. I staked out the circus because my friends were in trouble and wrongly accused, and I knew this. So I staked out the circus this evening and watched as this towed thawed The king left the grounds there. It did this to me, and I in a rage followed it and destroyed it. And I will show you the remains of my work.

We put it to bed. I'm either a clown or I'm a toad killer. Let's see what it is. Make a persuasion check. Come on, you fucker. Roll the lone. Oh, God, dang. Eleven.

He left. She goes. Hold on to them for just a moment. She walks back inside, moment passes, and she returns with four other guard. I just keep doing this so I can make a jingling sound on my chains. You know, that's probably agitating the issue. Let's go to the docks.

She comes up. All right, so drag them along with us, show us what this thing is, and if what you're say is not true, you'll join them. How's that sound? That I'm good with these terms. Follow me, please. All right.

You know the only reason we were out at the inn is because we were looking for you, Caleb. We didn't, though, where are you wit? I am not going to answer her. I am just walking very firmly with purpose to the docks. Okay, it has been close to an hour at this point. If I can clock that, I would like to leave. the head.

Okay. Move off into the shadows and assume my older, my older man, form. Okay. So you're using your second slot. Go call. Well, no, I can just drop the... Oh, you can do it's whenever, that's right, yeah. That's right. Sweet monster.

I'll drop the Cron's Guard and just make the old man and just kind of sit so I can keep an eye on it, but away from it. Okay. Eventually you guys are led up to the docks where you guide them. Yeah, a moment of confusion. Here it is right here. It's right here where I left it, and nobody has tempered with it. And I turn around and I pull back my clothing and show a huge slash across my body and say, you see this?

It was done by this thing. As soon as you pull back and reveal the face, its jaw is kind of relaxed now. Its muscles have kind of sad now it's been left in the dock, and it's kind of pulled a bit at its base, and this kind of like old pumpkin kind of a look. Its tongues lulling out and kind of unraveled on the ground with wet remains. within its salivary glands has kind of soaked the remaining wood around its base. One of the eyes has kind of rolled back, but it's a horrible display. And the guards kind of take a step back immediately at the reveal. And Norda immediately gets kind of interested

and gets close and takes a look at it and begins prodding a bit with her finger. So it is as bad as it looks, and if you have any holy people in this city, they will confirm that this thing is fiendish. You see, it's a fiend. Because what this looks like is you just, you just, you just, murdered one of our possible witnesses and or other members of this investigation. So I'm hoping this is a fiend. I don't know fiends. Well, I hope you don't believe that I slashed open my own body and then went to the police. Honey, I've been doing this for a long time. I've seen stranger. Hold on just a second. She calls one of the guards over and kind of whispers to

a second. He rushes off. Just so happens we have someone in town who might be able to confirm this for us. Might help your case. Who is it? Oh. They'll be here shortly. I sit down on a crate and I stopped talking. Okay. In this awkward period of time of the guards, I'll just standing there holding you as you wait patiently and some of them tapping their fingers. You start rattling your chains and the two guards like, pull the chains talk so you can't do it anymore. Malamak, as you begin to make your way back into town, you glance, because you're making

your way kind of through the dock district along the lake side, and you look up ahead and you can see there's a couple of torches being held by Crowns Guard right where the head was left, and you can see Caleb and then three of your allies and chains. I'm going to get a little closer. All right, make a self-check, please. You do not have advantage anymore that has passed. It's been more than an hour. Just to take a look at what's actually going on.

Not to get too close. Not too close, but just... It's not a high DC. 19. 19, okay. So you get a little closer. You're still maybe a good 100 feet or so away from them, keeping to the shadows along a building, keeping low,

which is for you, you know, thankfully it's nighttime. It's pushing midnight at this point because you're ostentatiously dressed, but there isn't a lot of light in your colors. So as far as you know right now, no one can see you, and you're too far away to hear much, but you can keep an eye on them. So I'm going to, yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna walk up. All right. With briskly. With what? There I find you. I've been looking everywhere. You're not supposed to leave the bloody in you.

Oh. Oh. So they're already in trouble, apparently. What'd they do this? Chain him up. So you're shackled as well. All right. Less questions to answer. At this point, Nora is starting to kind of smile a bit. She's like, man, this is it, I figured have more criminals like you lot. My job would be far easier.

I get to home a lot earlier. We're not criminals. We're not criminals. We're not. Me and Caleb were just traveling ever since we broke out of that. Dance number. No, it's good. It's good that you try so hard to protect the rights of giant frog creatures.

I'm very impressed. Fiend creatures specifically. At this point, the guard that left earlier has been gone for about 15 or 20 minutes or so it comes back with a brisk jog. There's another figure walking up behind them also jogging. You can see a kind of a lightish, kind of grayish hood and cloak around.

And as the figure approaches into the torchlight pulls back the hood and you see this long, kind of shoulder length, curled, blonde hair, a very, very delicate-looking elven male who approaches. I believe I've been summoned in order. Ah yes, sorry, this is Archivizenoth. He's been in town for a few days, and he comes from the library that knows a lot about a lot of things.

I hope that he can help us in this. So, Xenoth, this is, they're calling this thing a fiend. What do you know about? this." And he steps closer and kneels down next to the head and... Jolrasd. Hmm? I just whispered Jolras. Yes, these creatures do frequent Jules.

Jules. Kind of give some look over. Pulls like a small book out of his side pouch, when he has to thumb through it. It compares a few things. I'm not a specialist, unfortunately. But this creature is very much a, and I'd say a very dangerous dangerous entity from the Far East.

I'm surprised it made it this far into civilization before being destroyed. It's a good thing it has been. He now gets a look at everyone over the Kroom's. And are you the ones who slew it? Well, technically it was Caleb technically. Just me. As the figure looks over it stops on Bo and kind of smiles.

What's going on over there? I'm sorry back as she was stretching my back. Yes, it was difficult, but I prevailed in the end. The city is safe. What library was that that you mentioned? Oh, I'm an archivist. I'm the archivist of the Colbolt, so. Here in town?

No, no, I'm from Zadash. I'm a bit out of my depth at the moment. What brings you this far? This far. Well, I have business. Um, at this point, Norregos, all right, you know what? This is some serious bullshit. We're all just chilling here at the docks.

We've confirmed that's a fiend. No, Nergelid. A nergolid. Bring him back to the stockade. Let's have a trial. And they begin to pull you guys back to the stockade. two of the guards go and grab the Nergolid head, and you guys are all being pulled in that direction.

Yeah, one last thing. Watchmaster, I pull out the book that I read about the Nergolid. Here, this is a gift for you. This is folklore. You will find I have marked a page in there. I will describe this thing. Enjoy. As you guys are walking, she thumbs through it,

finds the page, begins to read it, passes it to the archivist. He begins to read it, passes it back. As you guys all make your way into the stockade, You're not brought to her chambers, you're brought to a much larger room. This room has much more of a stark, barren stone interior. There are benches built. There is a central kind of a pit. There's about four or five steps down into this pit, and then above that is a desk where Norda takes as the lawmaster. And to that point you realize, oh, this is a room of judgment. What are you doing? I would like to try once they start making their way back to that facility to quickly make my way to the inn, if I can, as the old man. Okay. Enter. Make my way into the restroom and drop my disguise, come back out as forward.

The water closet, what have you? There is a shared water. It's a water. Yeah. Yeah, the room with the pot in it. And then make my way back to the front doors and stick my hat at where the guards are. Yeah. There's two guards still posted there. Most of them have already left because they're

carting off the rest of your friends. Please, I can't seem to find any of my comrades. Have you seen where they've gone? They look at each other. Yeah, they've been arrested. I was afraid as much. Do you know, could I make my way down to where they're being held? I would like to be present if it would be prudent. You leave our watch. We cut you. and they both kind of both flank you side to side and push you ahead a little bit, and they're glued to you, to your right and left. Very kind of you. They lead you to the stockade. As you guys are brought into this chamber, Norda sets up. Who's going to go get the little girl?

Leave her out of this. You're the little girl here? You're confused. It's been a night. So, Norda up there at the top. takes her cloak off, puts on her ceremonial armor bits. There's a whole element to the presentation of this, and you're kind of like, tirely putting them on, sets her hands on the top. All right, so I would like for you to present

what evidence you have to absolve you of these charges against you, and then, based on what you present, I'll decide whether or not you're innocent or guilty or require further investigation. So, who would like to present? evidence first. You, you brought ahead of a creature. You're not in chains. We'll start with you. Okay. They go ahead and drag their creatures head forward. She takes the book from the archivist. And speaking with Zenoth here, it appears that what you said is true, this creature is a dangerous, terrible fiend.

And looking at its apparent ability to feast on the essence of creatures, This explains both the transformation of the old man. This also explains the destruction of our two guards, who were recently discovered. Rest their soul. So that explains that. Convince me as to why you are not working with this entity, especially those of the carnival.

And she snaps her other, or snaps her finger again, and you watch as Gustav and Boz and her brought into the chamber. as well as a third figure who, you see you step out of the shadows, her hair dark and fading to white, last seen fleeing into the distant fields. You see in chains as well, Yasha, being pulled into the courtroom. Welcome to the club. Breaking the law, breaking the law, breaking the law. What's the help you were. Oh. Welcome to the Shane Gang.

Hey. So, that one was caught fleeing from the scene. No, that's completely a misunderstanding of things. It's not allowed. I'm certain. You have a trustworthy face. Okay, so what's the expert ever into want to present, please? Anyone? Well, first a question. Are you familiar with Occam's razor?

What? I figured. Okay. That one works for the circus. Do I look like I work for the circus? Strangely? Not well dressed enough. No, I'm a dirty hobo and I reeked like yesterday's garbage. I wasn't going to go that far, but I'll admit it.

This one, does he look like a circus performer? Is he filthy like me? Which one? Here. Oh. Ford has not arrived yet. But he's right here. Look, I can touch him.

Well, see for the purposes of that, As you say that, and reveal your hand, Ford enters through the door like it was a planned arrival. This one right here. Weirdly, he's dripping wet. This sardonic one, right? Who looks like with the shit-eating grin. Does she look like she works for the circus? I don't know what she works for.

But I don't trust her. That's smart. I am injured within a centimeter of my life. This one is an inkom poop. Wait, which one were you pointing at? That's you. I pulled the mask away. This is my good friend. She's a goblin. A little halfling girl.

At this point, you watch her kind of pull back and go, and I step in front of her, and she is my friend and colleague, and you will not lay a hand on her while I am standing here. Make a persuasion check. I'm gonna. I feel like this is. I feel like this is... That is a...

Elephant. Level two. Level two. Shady dice. Shady dice. She's now, like her eyes are chain onto this... She's looking into my chest because nod is behind me. Right.

I'm just, I'm sorry, I'm confused why you're going to such lengths. lengths to defend the rights of this large, oversized frog skull. The U- I defend no rights of this creature. Yeah? But I've been in this office long enough to know that there aren't usually solo workers and something like this.

I know these folk, they all protect each other. Who's to say this wasn't their whole reasoning for coming anyway? And something went wrong, and they're letting him take the full. There's a big conspiracy to make undead crown scarred here in the city? I don't fucking know. Fucking no. Don't tell me how I do my business. Sit the fuck down. Who's next? You're right. We do protect our own. That's absolutely true. Let him up. They loosen the chains and you get to stand in approach a bit.

It's a common tactic. It's a good way to make your way through this world. Normally it works. We assumed a circus anyway that we were being framed. and we were protecting our own until, is the head in here? Yes. This one showed his true colors. And then we took care of it. And I'm going to throw one of my swords down the ground that is filthy with its blood. Right. Why did this one run?

I feel I didn't need to be in there anymore. You know? I don't, I... I... I'd like you both to make persuasion. I think like... Oh, 11. Okay.

We needed someone on the outside. We knew we were innocent. We knew you didn't think so. We just assumed you were gonna have us all executed, and we didn't do anything. What would you have done? Is that goblin pissing in my court? I'm nervous! In his defense, it's a wonderful vintage.

A wonderful vintage. Her defense. I'm very nervous. I'm sorry. It's just your guards shackled both my wrists and my ankles, and I can't move to get into a good position, you know. When she's nervous, she errates a bladderate. But look, I have some evidence to submit. Look at my hands, and also the hands of Jester, covered in the thing's blood. We were there, too. We helped the killing of the creed. The dwarf woman, Nord-Ethleith, means Ford, looks you dead in the eyes. I've known friends I grew up with.

We were carved down by your kin. Convince me why I shouldn't hang you tomorrow. Sorry for your loss. Where were your people from? Green Goliere. That's not where my clan's from. I had nothing to do with it. My clan operates far, far away and...

Where's your clan operate from? Um... Looking on the map. Uh, near the Felderwyn tillage. That's not too far. Maybe we'll send some folks to pay a visit to your clan. You can. Feel free. I'll even tell you where they are. I'm no...

longer associated with them and I can help you hunt them down if you'd like. Make your persuasion check. So that's not a natural one. Not a natural one. Still sucks. Why are we rolling so bad? Leans back. I want to sleep. And I think you're telling the truth. Most of you. Archivist. Does this resonate with you as well? Does this check out? The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else

tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time. And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s. And man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark.

Oh, please, not that music. That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter? Some lighter music here. Are you a fan of true crime TV shows? And what about Unsolved Mysteries? The show that jumped started all of our love of True Crime. I'm Ellen Marsh. And I'm Joey Taranto.

And we host, I Think Not, a True Crime comedy podcast covering some of the wildest stories from your favorite true crime campy TV shows all the way to Unsolved Mysteries. Baby, you will laugh, you will cry. You'll think about true crime in a whole new way, and you'll also ask yourself, who gave these people mics? New episodes of I Think Not are released every Wednesday

with bonus episodes out every Thursday on Patreon. And every Monday you can listen to our True Crime Rundown, where we go over the top true crime headlines of the week. So come and join us wherever you listen to your podcast. Lord ways, I don't know what the fuck you do. The archivist's just the time. I believe based on what they've stated, at least it's consistent, though I'm a bit confused as to the demeanor of the goblin,

but it's not unheard of to have goblin kin turn against their own. There have been a number of historic individuals of various monstrous races who have been beneficial members of society. I invite not up onto my piggyback position on my shoulders. If you can't, she's chained up. I scoop her up. Okay. This is even more awkward. Just put me back down. Put me back down. Just let it happen.

No, I can't. The chains are pulling me one way. You're pulling me the other way. Just come down to my level. Come down here. Come down here. Bring the two others forward, and they bring forward Gustav and Bozen.

This is your circus, right? He goes, it is, it is my circus, and I take full responsibility for what's happened. Sincerely, at this. They have done nothing wrong. They were completely innocent. I brought this creature into our fold and that is on me. Whatever judgment you have bring onto my head, not theirs, please, I implore you. Dain. I'll consider the investigation closed. You're all freed of charges against you, including the goblin. Oh, thank you. Thank you. I would kiss you if I could.

I would not recommend trying. Gustav, what's... I can read your last name. You've been given quite a debt for trust in Watts, so you shall remain here until you've worked off the debt to the city. To the number of 2,645 gold pieces.

To make up for the deaths of our two Crownsguard, of the two civilians who have died, and the general cost of this entire investigation. So, we'll consider what your work is to the city tomorrow. However, the rest of you, you're free to go. I'm going to go get myself some sleep. She takes her honor off. All right, I'm going to get a drink.

And she puts her cloak on and then hops off. And the opposing side of her on top of the large pedestal. and desks, she hops down to her natural Dwarven height, and it's almost adorable to watch her just skid her the hell out of there. She's done. Where are you getting a drink at? There's no response. Do you want the company? I just turn to the nearest ground guard.

The chains are removed. Go ahead and free you guys in that port. Point 8, they free everybody, including Gustav, but two guards are assigned. to him to keep an eye for a bit. As soon as Bro gets out of her chains, I grab my stuff and I just leave. Okay. As you are exiting the stockade

in the archway of the doors, right outside, you see another figure standing. Hood up, like a short hood with a mantle that stops about midway, bare arms, kind of dark skin. baggy kind of grayish pants, and it's just there waiting. What's the mantle?

You don't recognize any details about it. You just see a cloaked figure waiting looking right at you. Is you blocking the doorway? Just beyond the doorway. It's not blocking. Is there another way out? I mean, you can exit. They're just on the other side of the door. Every other way in, you don't know the stockade well,

and all that leads further into the stockade. and there are other Crown's Guard inside. Okay, I'm just going to try and just bolt through. You're just going to bolt full to full run? Not run, just like, you know, Irish goodbye. Walk with purpose. All right, so as you briskly exit and turn to the left, the figure intervenes, and sidesteps right in front of you.

Do I recognize them? Armenian block. No? Oh, you don't recognize me. You don't see much of the face. The hood is up, and in the nightline, light right now, a little bit of moonlight that's coming. You can see the edge of features, but the body is muscular but thin. Looks not terribly masculine or feminine, but it looks able and move to a very quick speed to intercept your positioning.

I just go, oh, fuck, and turn around and walk back in. Okay. Go join everyone else. And then flip off the guy on my way back here. Okay. As you guys are being escorted out of the stockade, Bo comes back in and joins you. I thought you left. Just I'd pee. Oh. Shame. Hey, you guys, we're town heroes. What's it feel like? Yeah! Yeah! Wow!

Yasha, it's very good to see you again. It's good to see you guys too. Where did you go? Did you... were you on the lamb for a long time? I just have a little bit of a problem with authority and I just didn't want to be caught in a small and confined space and then that ended up happening. How long have you been in there? Immediately after I ran. It just, it didn't, they sent out horses.

They sent out horses, so I'm not that fast. But I did, you know, fuck up a few of the guards. Nice. It's my accident. As you say that you hear a couple, you glance over and to the Crowns Guard, you can see visibly bruised that are kind of escorting you guys out into the night air

before they eventually just leave you to your own devices. Molly, what do you think this means for the carnival? I don't know. So that is a question, but... I mean, if Gustav has to stay here, then who's going to run it? That's a lot of gold. That's like a life sentence worth of gold.

Well, I mean, gold comes, gold goes. How much do you think the circus has at this time? I don't know how much the circus has, and honestly I think Orna would lie about it, if we asked. The Crown's Guard have pulled away, and now it's just you guys and Bozen and Gustav now kind of out in the middle of the air,

like Gustav's kind of rubbing his wrists. Well, thank you, everyone, for helping. That could have been a lot worse, and you know, it's fine. I know it's a lot of money, but it shouldn't take me more than me. A few years. But it's a nice town. Trust them all, it's a nice town. It's not that nice.

No, it's not. But you know, it's better than prison. There's a lot of beer here. That there is. And I may have to start a small fund for that on its own night. What happens to the circus because, you know, you can't do the same show for the same people for a year? Where's Orna? Where's the twins? Well, the twins buggered.

Orna, God only knows. Where's Toya? Toya is back at the circus, but shaken. Very, very, very, very shaken. At which point Gustav just begins making a bee line for the circus. And Bozin kind of goes like, oh. How hard can it be to make 2,000 gold? And how much he's saved, but we're near that much, probably.

How hard can it be to steal 2,000 gold? I don't know how many people around here have that much. Well, it might take a bit of time. Although the breweries might. Maybe it'd be best to find that gold elsewhere. Wait, so who killed him? Gustav has been around in his back, and I was like, sincerely, I appreciate the aid, but don't.

This is on me. I'll take care of it. This is not your responsibility. It's not your responsibility. It's not your responsibility. You guys have already done so much. It's fine. I'll take care of it. You should take a look at what's left of the circus. Can I take a look around?

Do I see Z-Noth anywhere? Me perception check. Oh, god damn. It was almost better. It was almost like good. Four, ten total. Ten. You don't see anybody immediately around. Was that Archivist Zenith that was a zenith that was outside?

Archibist. That's what I said. Was that who it was that was like? No, Xenoth was still inside the courtroom. Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh. Who was it that was outside? We don't know. We didn't see that. It's still very late, right? Yeah, it's just, it's post midnight now.

I'm so tired. Don't suppose you would want to retire for the evening, share a drink together now that this is, I will definitely drink. I think we should probably drink at our camp then, but I'm fine inviting them. Tell you what, as a thanks, we'll go ahead and we'll grab Toya, we'll meet you guys. Where are you all staying? The Neselt Nook. We'll come meet you the nestled nook and I'll get around for you all as a thank you. This is a human thing, but never mind. Yeah, we're just like teaflings. We're all alike. I know. All right, Boise, come on.

And they make their way off to the carnival camp. No, he was, it was him. How are you, like bad? Maybe it had always been bad, I don't know. I mean he attacked us and a lot of guards too. He was an evil fiend. When he joined the circus, who brought him in? Let's not be throwing words around. No, he was literally. an evil thing.

Which word are you talking about, Mollymouth? He summoned imps. He did summon it. I don't know. He summoned imps, Yel. He should be controlled the girl. He was fine for years. Something set him off.

He said it himself. People in the circus are weird, right? So, every once in a while, a glitch. A glitch? What? He was fine for so long. There was nothing for so long. Why?

Things don't just... I still think there's something creepy about this lake, man. this lake man. Maybe. This gives me eby-jeebies. Everything gives me the e-be-jeebies. Well, if it is this thing that we've read about in the book, then perhaps he needed to feed more or was impatient for some reason. What's happened with Toya?

Shite. What's, how is she? She is not good. She is taking it as you would expect. Also, Beau crushed her windpipe. That's true. With her stick. And I'm sorry, are we also taking the bouncer into our little coven of weirdos? Is that a thing that's happening?

Oh, well, uh. Always. I mean, I kind of go on my own, but... No, she's one of us. She's the charm. She has to come. I'm too tired to argue. Let's get that drink. See, charm. We'll get a drink.

Drink. You guys make a way back to the Neslundook Inn, within the tavern and within the next. next hour or so Gustav and Bozen, Toya and Orna all come in and join you. You guys crowd a few tables together and other what is generally a pretty empty tavern this night. You guys, for the most part, dominate the center space. I'm sorry, Yasha, for new patrons, you're going to have to surrender your sword. You're very funny. He's very fun.

That is a very sick burn. Speaking of swords. Careful for, you haven't been healed yet, you know. She could take you down. You could always try to take it. Arm wrestle, good, no. Yeah. Arm wrestle!

You do look pretty strong. I mean, you're just like a little bit bigger than me, but I still think I could, I could probably take it. Looks good to see me. Arm wrestle, bets on yasha. Do it, do it, do it. I usually tell you everything you need to know. I just thought it would be a nice gesture. To arm wrestle?

No, to give her a sword over. Well, what about your sword? You're, your... Well, I'm a paying patron here. They know me quite well. So you've got to be putting something on the table, though. Well, if you want to surrender the sword or not surrender the sword Did you want to stay in that room any longer, Molly?

Never. I don't know what we're talking about anymore. They don't either. Are you guys gonna arm wrestle? No. Okay. Okay. How about Boulder paper shears? Wait, what is it? Boulder Parcman Shears.

That's a stupid game. I think it's something that kids play. It's a game. It's a game. I have a better version of that I game. We can play it later. Rest the carnival and presents. Gustav goes and orders around, drinks to all of you and they sit down.

Toya still looks a bit shaken, but seems to be comforted. with the rest of the family around her, but still remain at least. Desmond's come and joined as well. You guys are all sitting together for a bit, and there's a moment of quiet as you're all kind of sipping and just tiredly taking over the events of the evening.

Toya breaks his silence with, Is the family going away? Am I gonna be alone again? Orno looks over to her and goes, Not if I can help it. It's you and me kid against the world. Boson kind of passed torn on the shoulder and says,

"'If you'd have me, you could probably use a strong arm.'" Orr looks back at him. And Orrin him have had this kind of rivalry tension for a while. He goes, you know what? Sure. The trio makes for a strong. Back at performers. Desmond, are you in?

And Desmond is just sitting there staring into his cop goes, I see a new family before me, and when I fear writes a story, I could only spoil him. No, I thank you, but I'll find my own path. He just sits there quietly in this somewhat sad space. He gives a brief pat and kind of a side hug to Bozen before standing up and leaving. Gustav stands up and looks around. I'm sorry for everything.

All the pain this has caused you, for all the pain it's caused you. Looks at Toya, for all the pain it's caused to you, little one. Quite the adventure, actually. I know people were hurt, but that was really something. And apparently no one really cared about it in On, so that's, you know, good for your conscience. Everyone's conscience is heavy with its own reasoning. You're not blame for me. No, I appreciate that. We are our own worst enemy, though we're not. Oh, cheers to that. I catch Knott's eye and silently mouth the word.

I think that's the end of my carnival. It was such a good carnival. It was a good run. It was a really good run. Man, we got the last show, you guys. Not our best show. I like that. The tickets don't be worth something.

They might. Close it down. I'm going to keep this flyer for forever. Just kind of float around like I usually do? I don't know. I'm thinking about it. I don't know where I'm gonna end up now. You go with Boes and an Orna, if you like.

If you guys are still carrying on, I mean, I'm not gonna keep the tent, I'm not gonna keep the supplies. I might hawk some of it to try and pay off my debt, but take what you want. Start a new. It's my gift to you. We all kind of, thank you very much.

You all start small, I don't think we need too. Too much of the onset. How we begin? Back up in Shady Creek. I mean, I could use a really large tent. Like the biggest one? Like I would take that off the half of the head. What would you do with a really large tent?

I don't know, I could open up a hotel or, like I could make a bunch of dresses or... Out of the tent? We can make a lot of dresses out of that tent. Yeah, right? It's very pretty fabric. Thank you. A hot air balloon? I don't.

They're what? Those aren't invented. Haven't you seen airships? No. That's kind of fantasy. From sort of crystals I've seen that kind before. Yeah. Yeah, there's no balloons though.

What's a balloon? They have simple derogables, but they're not very functional. Yeah, it just involves fire, you guys. We can figure this shit out. Derectable, dirigible I've heard of, but a balloon, or not that is. Have the airships made it to this continent yet? Mm. You don't know.

We, I think, I've seen airships, okay, I've seen them. Jester, I think it's safe to say that we, this first case is closed. So we could open some sort of private investigation service. That's what we should do. Out of a tent. Let's not open it here, though. This counts hooks. Yeah, we were still planning on moving on after this. Bozhen and Sheena, you guys can use that tent, right?

Yeah, I think we'll take the tent. Oh, right. We'll take a couple of the tent. Oh. The campers, maybe. We waited too long. We can take a couple of the campers. You got to say it.

You know, just out of curiosity, what's everybody planned to do now? What do we have to leave? I mean, I'm not wanted anymore. Never wanted. Back to my question. Ford and I are going to try to get him into the academy. Well, I wanted to find out more about the Sultras Academy, yes. I didn't know what direction you were heading.

I never even asked what you were doing here in the first place. Oh, you know, I'm just kind of doing like a walking tour, you know, to the continent. Just kind of... A walking tour. Yeah, just like a backpacked. vacation, you know, just stretching my legs a little bit, meeting some fine people, kind of discovering myself. Are you on a vacation?

Yes. Bring a lot of money with you for that vacation, did you? What's it matter to you? I don't believe you're on vacation. Where are you going? That's your problem. So are you guys going to, to, to, take off or do you guys want company or?

Gustav finishes a drink and goes, well, I'm going to go get some sleep and try and figure out how to put my life together. I bid you all the wonderful nights. Gustav, wait here. Can I take off one of my rings? This is an old family heirloaf. And I hope it can help you pay some of your debt. I'm going to spy the rings on her hand, by the way, really quickly. It looks just like the one I lost off my pinky. Oh, that's so weird that you and my family have the same looking ones. That's wonderful. Thank you so much.

You're welcome. That's very sweet. I want to look at the other rings she picked up that she's wearing right now. They're right here. You can get a look at them. They're all over figures. They are obviously rings from random dead people, aren't they? Yeah. Okay. Just putting that together. I like play like Dymosaur fights. Just don't put his hat on.

Yasha, be safe and punch anyone who gets in your way. Molly Walk, I hope you find what you're looking for. I think I will. To the new family, they'll make the same mistakes your forefathers, too. The rest of you thank you. I bet you all it do. Any exits. What are you looking for, Molly? I don't know, I'm not quite done with this one. We'll see. Toya. Boz and Ornach kind of stood up and Toya's gonna do. Yeah? What are your plans? What do you want to do? I figure I'll just move on with Bowen or none.

I'll make a new show. Something with a little less death. That's what I'd like. That's what I'd like. You should make your way to the menagerie coast. I think you guys would have a lot of success in Nicodranes. I haven't been to Nicodranes. It's beautiful.

She kind of looks at them tugs on the side of Boz's sleeve. You know I actually haven't been there either. They're always looking for good performers. You would do well. Let's go ahead and make our way. It sounds like a nice change of pace. I think this empire is getting a little stuffy from me anyway. I've been down to Toya,

and I take off one of the little jade bangles around my wrist. I'm just saying, here, so keep you safe from assholes named Bo. Except for that asshole named Bo. He's a good Bo, but all other assholes named Bo. He was much as an Orner kind of elbows him, and he was like, oh no, he's an asshole too, it's fine. That's true.

Sorry, sorry again about that. She takes singles. It's okay. I know you did what she had to. When I'm older, I'm gonna get you back. You'd better. Your first nemesis. My first nemesis.

Is a 12-year-old girl. Give her like a little, you know, a little chin man. Kill bow. She goes on casual. The three of them stand up and kind of give a nod. What? You know, wordlessly look over the rest of you, the smile of thanks, and Bosen looks to you and makes eye contact and goes. Take care, brother. It gets tougher for us up north.

I'll keep that in mind. Leave the inn. I mean, I'll say it. I don't know if you will, but I think that little girl's creepy. Oh no, she's, I mean, you know, she's had a thing the entire time. I think she had the tone of her. There was a little while I thought she was in on it completely. I mean, she might have been. None of for years, I just assumed she was in on it.

She could have been in on it and just like got right away with it. Yeah. You know? That would be great. She's good. She is really good. Give it to her. Yeah.

No matter what you pick, you're always welcome. Right? Yeah. Wherever you end up. Maybe for a little bit, but I've got some things I need to do, so. Do you guys want to travel with me and four? And four. Where are you going again? Up north, northeast to the Sustra's Academy.

Straight there. Northeast, I always want to go there. Where's northeast? Um. We're here. Well, technically you don't have a map. Oh, no. We should really get a map, you guys. Like, I haven't spent a lot of time in this area, and I don't really know.

and I don't really know where we're going. Yeah, we're kind of going from town to town and asking as we go. I'm afraid we don't know too much. Maybe at the general store, they would have a map, or do you have to go to a map maker? Traditionally you have to go to a map maker. Traditionally, but it can depend.

We might have a bit of something at the circus, I don't know. I would love a map. Probably not much about anything. We'll go looking for things tomorrow. We can go shopping with you. Yes! Where are you guys having off to? Seems like people are making pretty big plans.

There's safety in numbers, you know. Yeah, you took the words out of my mouth. Um. Not. Don't you want to travel with us too? Um, is she coming? Yes, she just said she was. Oh, are you scared of me?

A little bit, you're very big. Well, she... I thought you were not the brave. Oh, no, there's no comma. It's, I'm just not the brave. I don't know, you know, Nott and I have been traveling together for a while, and two was better than one, although still very difficult. How long ago was it that you guys broke out of prison?

You know, it was six months ago, about five, six months ago. Damn, you guys are doing good. Insight challenge. Yeah. Against five or six months ago. Yeah. So close. You have to roll, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah. Roll either persuasion or deception. You can choose. Don't. Do persuasion. I mean, you don't have to say, but you did. That's fine.

That's, I don't know where my character sheet is. That's also a 14. Yeah. It seems on the level. All right. Broke out of prison. That's very. Very impressive.

Well, it was mainly Caleb. We had to get out. I mean, it was a bad place. Were they going to kill you? We would have died, for sure. But you'd be there together, because you knew each other before? Well, first of all, she's being modest. It was not just me at all.

I could not have gotten out of there without you. I don't think you could have gotten out of there without me either, but you know. That's true, for sure. That's why I said two, better than one. better than one. One is the loneliest number. Yes. You're something wrong with being alone?

You know, normally I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about shit like this, but you are all very shifty. I'm very trustworthy. Thank you. No, no, you are shiftery as well. Yeah. It's true. In the short time we've spent with you, you seem to be very upstanding folks. I'm sure it wasn't for anything too serious. No, nothing. Serious at all, really. I was too curious. She was maybe a little thirsty.

You know, petty, petty stuff. But they treated us very badly and we needed to get out of there. We all know how this country works. And where was there? Yeah, is there anywhere we should stay away from on our travels? Any places. I mean, we've been traveling around a bit, but... Yeah, you know, I wouldn't go west. Maybe. Northwest. I'm told East is bad too. There's monsters.

Yeah. And they're pretty terrible in the north. That's no secret. So we go south? Oh, no. Not south. It just depends where in the south, actually. I'd be happy keeping a bit of a, just a bit of a low, low-key. key existence.

Well, I mean, we are vigilantes, so it's best if we, you know, have our secret. Some of us are a bit sketchy with the law. Yeah. Malimov, you're comfortable leaving the circus. You are very, you have a lot of flair. Ah, well, I, I, I, I figure if you're going to live your life, you're going to live your life. That does do that. There's nothing wrong with living your life.

You only get one of them. I'd only get one of them, or mostly. And your days are gonna be the days that you're gonna have. And I'd like to keep living my life the way I'd like to and keep off of certain radars. Cheers to that. Yeah, life does need things to live. She's a stupid phrase.

That doesn't make any sense. That's what I'm really a little stupid. I mean, it does, but it is blatantly obvious and simplistic. That's just ridiculous. I felt so good. That's catharsis. Yasha, anywhere that we should avoid for you? You know, I'll just, I'll make my way wherever we go, and maybe I'll not stay with you the whole time, but...

I don't like, you know... Being fun. Yeah. groups and things. Are you claustophobic? Are you mentioned, like, being the smaller, like cramped space earlier in the cell? She's curious.

Clamps, clampy space. Clamping. I like to have my freedom. Yeah, I mean, technically this is a group. You mean groups bigger than this group, or is this group too claustrophobic for you? No, I don't mean it like that. I just want to make my own way sometimes.

Not tied down to anything but that cloak, am I right? That's right. Speaking of cloaks, mine smells really bad. Oh, it was on top of a head. Yeah, I know, it's really gross. I'm going to go try to find somewhere to wash it. Upstairs at the end of the hallway at the brain is kind of a communal washroom. Hey Caleb, you know what's upstairs?

This place where I'm going to go wash some stuff, you could use it. It's not you're just the way you are. You are bloody now too, in addition to being stinky. You should probably actually get that patched up actually, though that is fair. Yeah, I actually feel like you're starting to get like a rash. Yeah, I'm good, thank you. You're damn right. I suppose we should all go to sleep and then if any of us are here in the

the morning we'll set off together. That seems fair. All right with that. Collect our things from my things anyway, from the circus, there should be some spares. Do we have time to, look at this, we're making plans with friends, that's amazing. Do we have time for errands in the morning?

I have a couple stops, nothing nature. Take me a while, panic. Yeah. You guys want me to tag along with you? If you weren't too anxious to run off anywhere. Uh, no. I'm free in my backpack tour. No plans. Right. Any sight scene we should schedule along our way?

Maybe avoid Zadash, just because I just came there, you know? Don't want to like hit the same place twice. Zadash? Yeah. Keep that in mind. Yeah. Note, note, note. As you guys are all finishing your drinks and standing up to leave the table, a familiar voice kind of pipes in from this and of the tavern room. Beauregard.

Oh! And the archivist, who was there earlier during the trial in this dockade. It's been difficult to find you. Do you mind if we speak? Hey, Zina! It's been all about 20 minutes since I've seen you last. Yes.

Would you... Would you walk with me? me. I believe we have much to discuss. Okay. Don't worry. She'll be returned to you. Just... You're all right. I've got it. You don't care. We're not that attached yet. All right, then this way, please, Beauregard. The Irishman kind of gives a bow. He seems jovial. Or mime! Or mime! Or mime! So, Beau leaves, and you guys are able to go by the

rest of your evening to rest. That would be you see fit. I'm way up after Nott has gone. I go over to Norder. Is Noda down there? Yorda. No, there's two people with rhyming names. Yorda is the bartender.

Revenge from Bex and Vax. Yeah, with Ryan. I find the purveyor of the establishment. Yorda. Yeah. Mork for Mok, that's what I said. Yeah, totally. Yes.

Right, right. What can I help you with? Excuse me, is there, is there, I know that you have a Beth here, but is there like a hot bath place, like a Beth house? I'm bruised over every inch of my body and I'm in a lot of pain.

Right, right, that'd be probably in the Hillsworth. It's a bit pricey, but I don't know if it's open this late. No, I know, I know, but how much are we talking about? Oh, I mean, I'd put it maybe somewhere and they would have five silver for a bath. That's expensive. But in the... But you get bathed, like proper multiple people bathing you. The northward, it's an awful.

A northward. Hill. Hmm. Okay. Good. But I... I mean, no offense to you, but... Yeah.

Their clientele's a bit upper class. I'm not worried. Fair enough. So, Bo, as you exit with Zenoth, as soon as you step out to the night air, a second figure flanks your other side, the hooded figure from earlier that had caught you. I just look at Zinoth and go, really. This is really necessary? It is only because it's been so difficult to find you. I had to call in a favor. Please, come with us. We have a warehouse. Did we have to do with this guy? He's fucking, look at him. I mean, he looks shifty.

The head turns to you in the hood. And you see dark elvish features on a bald head as the hood as the hood comes back, what looks to be a female elf of very live form. It turns to him and goes, actually it is a woman. But I'll ignore that. Sorry, you're super covered, literally solved no features until right now. It is fine. You're very attractive, though.

And she walks ahead of you, and the two begin to make your way. They're kind of guiding you towards the northward. And as you step into the dark following their lead, we're going to take a break. Oh, bad y'all. Like, no, don't. Don't. You were like, oh, my cake smell bad. And I was like, like, as R-Ping, and then I was like, ooh.

Not R-Ping. Grab your ticket that you got in the mail, scratch off number three. All right, so we'll be back here in a few minutes. For those you who want to enter the Wormwood giveaway, tonight it's a special Valentine's Day promotion from our friends at Wormwood. They have four types of. four types of dice vaults to choose from, where they translate your Valentine's Day message in Elvish. Damn!

The Shiklow! So you got some golden Elvish top there. It's sweeties. And you can choose the wood. Exactly. And the waiting only shows up if you throw it in fire. Don't listen to Liam. But yeah, so whoever is the winner of this, or if any of these, they'll go ahead and get

you the contact information for warm woods, they can customize your phrase. So if you want to be part of this giveaway over the break, make sure to use the keyword Toad, T-O-A-D in the chat room. Oh, there's also apparently an anti-valentine's Day drow vault they do as well if you choose that as well, which is pretty cool. But yeah, so check them out at Wormwoodgaming.com, but if you want to enter that the code word is Toad. Only enter once, please, in the Twitch chat, because if you do more than once, it will be disqualified. So wait for them to notify you over the break, and we'll come back with the winner when we return. They gave us an amazing matching set with the Elvis Street. Elvish for our wedding.

It was super sweet. Yeah, so thanks for more. I know. The Elvis said from Memphis. Don't be lucky. Oh, it was in 1920. All right. We'll see you guys in a little bit.

Hello everyone and welcome back. So before we jump back in, we have our winner from the chat. We have the winner is Piamo underscore Fetti. If I'm reading this correctly, P-I-A-M-O-U-S-E-D-D-I-E. So congratulations. Exactly. Donobo will get you here. content information and we'll get that sent out to you. But well done and happy

Valentine's Day. Woo! Alright, so now as we jump back into the game, I would like to ask everyone but Marisha to leave the table please. Really? Yeah, dearie dears. I'm gonna leave my drink. Trust. Don't die!

It's so scary. So nerve-wracking. So... Boroagarde. Uh-huh. Quietly, they walk you through the night air, through the northward, to a familiar place. The outskirts of the Bombok family brewery. There's a slight opening on the side warehouse doors

where you had previously worked when you first arrived at Trostenwald, and archivist Zenoth kind of just gestures for you to enter. Please, if you don't mind, my dear. Is this what got me, caught working for these fucking assholes. I walk in. Okay, you walk in. There is the single glowing lantern that is currently hanging from a rope that is strewn across the ceiling of the warehouse that gives kind of a central source of light to the room. It

causes the shadows to stretch out very long across the sides. What is this? As you walk in and turn around, the door is closed and the two figures kind of approach, the female elf goes and takes a chair and sets it in the center underneath the lantern. Please have a seat. Prefer to stand? She just sits back, about 20 or so feet, and leans against one of the large stacks of crates as Zinoth approaches you. Now, Beauregard, you have been what the archive would call a problematic student.

I've had to pull in quite a bit of a favor since I have been assigned to your tutelage, overseeing your progress and training. You've shown great promise in many ways. You are a secret of truth, and you have a keen sense for manipulations and falsehoods. Correct? Thanks. Right. When the archive took you in at the behest of your family, you agreed to undergo our discipline, our lifestyle. I didn't agree to shit. You took me in, because I'm assuming my father paid you a pretty nice sum of coin to make sure that you took me in. I'm assuming that coin's no longer coming to the reserve, so why do you care? Believe it not, not everyone does what they do in this world for coin. And we see possibility in you.

And I, we wish to prevent you from blowing out your own flame. Your tendencies clash with our teachings, your dislike for authority. Yeah, I kind of thought you guys hated me. I thought I thought it was doing you a favor by leaving. At which point, the Womba Hines says, Your dislike for authority is not a bad thing. It'll keep you alive. Authority should always be questioned.

Those with more power than you should be held to a higher standard. Thank you, authoritative figure that I am unaware of your name. At which point Zinnath picks up, again says. But the way of the knowing mistress, has an order of learning. Your patience is essential to adhering to this path. I know it may not be stimulating at times, but we must prepare your mind if we are ever to prepare your soul.

Yeah, I'd say sorting books and punching brick walls repeatedly can definitely not be stimulating at all the times. I... Look, I just wish to, at which point the Elven woman, goes, enough, I've heard enough, Zinoth. You are removed of your responsibility to oversee Borogad. Zinat's eyes go kind of wide. This is not a student you can help. Return to Zedash. Zinath goes, I, exposit her, I do not think I have been given a fair shot.

I'm, please, I know this go, because I see much of myself in her. You cannot reach her. Go. Zinath looks hurt like he, like, I apologize that I failed you. And he turns around and heads back towards the warehouse doors which shift open and close. What the fuck was that? The, uh, woman now steps forward. I mean, I feel like you kind of made me just look like an asshole.

I feel like an asshole. Fuck, maybe I'm an asshole. Maybe you are an asshole. You probably are an asshole. But that's all right, because so am I. Because sometimes you need someone to be an asshole to get shit done. Being nice never did.

So, what are we talking? Stranger. I am expositor Diron, the Cobalt Soul. Dairon. D. A.I.R.O.N. A.I. R.O. N. I take it you've heard of our station through whispers. Yeah. Some people like to call you a boogeyman. I figured it was always real.

I mean, in my opinion, the best way to hide a secret organization is by having a boogeyman. We are the hidden strength of the library. You're not wrong. We weighed in the filth of society. We weed out the corrupt. We pursue the secrets and evils of the world and expose them to the light. We twist the arm of the unjust until they spill their mysteries.

We are the spies. We are the hunters. We are the watchmen to those who rule. We are not kind. We are forthright. We are truth. Do you, Beauregard, want to see the Truths of the world. Oh god, I'm sorry I just have this burn in my butt from all the smoke

you just blew up my ass. It's just, oh God. Oh, is that like a magical talent? What's your armor class? 17. 17? You suffer 10 points of bludgeoning damage as out of nowhere, her fist, wham! Hits you right across the side of your face. It takes me to to the ground. That takes me to the ground. You're unconscious? No, it just takes me to the fucking ground. Okay. Are you listening now? Do I have a choice? Let me be your teacher. Oh, boy, is that what I have to look forward to? No. What do you want to do now that that's happened? I kind of want to fucking punch you back. Then do it. What's stopping you? Now you have my

attention. And I fucking punch her in the face. Go for it, Roll for it. Roll for. One attack. Just a straight unarmed, right? Yep. Twelve. Twelve. Total. Not good.

She dodges out of the way, and as you move past, kind of plucks you in the back of the head with a knuckle. That hits you, take one point to bludgeoning damage. It's a very light tap. Ow! What the fuck? God, my dad used to do that type of shit. With that, she rushes around at a rapid pace to the front of you, faints with an uppercut, and then goes to elbow you in the side of the head.

head. That is a 16. What's your armor class? Misses. You manage to duck out of the way of this. I'm sling. Good, good. Okay. I'm going to go to add some points here. Okay. She's going to go ahead and use her bonus action to go into defensive stance. And I'm just wildly just go into, I'm going to spend a key point and do flurry of blows and just kind of start to do a blow blind haymaker and a second blind haymaker and then try him backhand with the third. Okay, go for it. Wolfram attack for each. Wildly, recklessly. Okay, first one. Natural 20.

Oh shit. Second one. Natural 20s in a row. No, I saw, I saw, I saw it. And it's natural 17. Roll damage on those first two. Okay, so you double the dice, right? Yes, roll the dice, double it. Okay, that was a three and a two, so five, so ten plus eight. 18 points of damage, and then the third strike, that hit? One, so another five points. Alright. Good fucking thinking of my dad after she just went, poop,

just like something just right pop in the back of my head. Right. What you watch as her defensive stance, she's prepared for it, and as you go to swing, She kind of lets it down in the last second and lets you get some hits in. Wham! Wham! But much stronger than she expected. The first one clocks her across the chin, the other one hits her across the temple. And the last one... And just the wild back hand. Just boff! Hits her on the back of the head, and she stumbles for a second, and then spins around.

You can see a bit of blood clicking out the corner of her mouth, and there's a little bit of a scrape of dirt on the side of her head where you hit. She turns back. Ah, very good. So you have learned some things in your time. And she quickly advances on you. Hits. 18 hits. I use a key point. Okay. You take three points of bludgeoning damage, one per hit. Pop, pop, pop.

She's basically going full in with the strike and is just prodding you with these gentle little hits, showing control, showing that she is entirely able to overwhelm you, and she's hitting different places in your body strategically. Because with each hit, you feel this like burst of numbness in those vicinity. I need you to make a constitution saving throw. Not great. It's a natural seven, so ten total. Okay. After each hit, you kind of gather yourself for a second. She stops and goes, You are quick, and there is intelligence lying in there. You also are quite nimble at dodging blows. Do you see, with but this few simple strikes, I am able to

extract from you everything I need to know about you. What the fuck? Why can't I feel my hand? What did you do? You see, brute force has its place, but precision and intent. That can take down the greatest of mountain by poking the weakest point. And now I know where your weak points are. You don't know shit about me, bitch. Am I take another attack? Go for it. Oh, that's a three, that's a nine. Nope.

And with each miss, or with the first miss, she's going to go ahead and use a reaction to attack you. That's going to be, she can do that. So ducks out of the way and immediately is a reaction smacks you in the head for one point of damage, another bludgeoning point. And then is going to spend another key point to do another reaction. She can also do that. Roll.

I rolled a 15 to attack. I'm gonna roll a 15 to attack for my second one. These are these two attacks, right? 15, so 21. Yeah, the second one does hit. So she just knocked the second attack. So we'll damage on that second strike. Okay, attacking her with the first one,

and then I'm gonna just kind of duck down a little bit and jab her right in the ribs. All right. What was the damage on that? Eight. Eight damage, nice. So you crack her in the ribs, and the impact actually does catch her off guard.

She ends up tumbling five feet backward, boof, across the ground, catching herself in the three-point landing. I back up, and I'm gonna spend another key point to do my defensive stance. Okay. Patient defense. Patient defense. So you go into that stance that she was in earlier,

but holding it for the entirety of this. Her eyes narrow for a second, and you see her kind of looking at all the different points that she struck on you earlier, like she's reading some sort of a docket on what your physicality is. And with that, she doesn't run at you, she runs around you in a circle,

and begins to jump off the sides of the boxes. Some of the crates that are stacked up nearby. You watch them kind of wiggle as she puts her weight up against them. Leaps off. Instead of getting distracted by her, I just like listen to her and kind of look out over at my periphery. Okay. Eventually, she uses her momentum to climb up the top of their feet

and then leap off and then come downward with the knee towards you. Okay, right as she comes down, I'm gonna try, and I'm gonna use, oh wait, dodge, go first. Well, you're already in your defensive stance, so her attacks of disadvantage against you. So the first strike, 19 and 11, it's still 20 to hit. Miss, it says patient defense I can spend one key point to take the dodge action as a bonus action on my turn.

Correct, which the dodge action does as it means any attacks against you have disadvantage. Oh, cool. So the first one did hit. First time you do on this. The second one does not. And the third one does. So two hits still gets you.

Okay. Bop-bop, both one point of bludgeoning damage. The knee comes down and right as it cracks into your head, She kind of shifts to the side and it glides off. And as soon as her body glides off, her back is to yours and her spinning elbow goes and cracks you on the side of the head, but it stops short, just barely hitting you. She's toying with you at this point. You said two more points? Yes, two more points, bludgeoning damage. Make another constitution saving throw, please. 11. No, sorry, 12. 12.

This time, as opposed to the pressure points being hit, there was the one smack on the side of your head. Yeah. this pain surges through the side of your temple and travels through your spine to all the points that she had hit earlier and your whole body kind of tenses and seizes for a second. Your vision blurs and your mouth stammeres and you're stunned for the next round.

As she lands behind you and walks around to the front of you, you're kind of unable to really do it. You can't move, you can't speak. I can start you on this path. You can return to your wanderlust, your allies. Our kind learns more in the world than in a library. Agree to my instruction. To use the skill as I teach you as you return throughout your journeys.

And one day you too can become an expositor. You begin to regain control of your senses, and your speech begins to slowly return to you. I got hands to you. That was awesome. That was awesome, and I want to know how to do that. You beat me. Very well. Your first lesson begins now. Okay. I can't just like... She snaps her fingers. Oh, okay.

And you watch as Xenoth steps back in, kind of sheepishly. Is it over, my dear? Is it done? Yes. I need you to stand here for a second, Zenoz. I need a body. Let me show you the proper pressure points. Zinol's eyes go kind of wide for a second. I don't believe you owe me a favor. I found her for you, did I not? Zinof kind of sighs and sags his head and takes his cloak off. I grab that stool and I drag it over.

Depending on what you wish to learn, there are different places where you can pool the information the information from the body. Okay. And over the next few hours, working with you, and over time... Does she be the shit out of Zinoth? You both do.

Sorry, Zanath. Sorry. God, we're such assholes. Assholes that the world needs from time to time. Yeah, the world does need an asshole. We'll work on that one together. We'll work on that. That's good. That's good.

I'll return to Zedash in the morning. Take what I've taught you. Okay. When you feel it's time for more tutelage, return to me. Do not worry. I have an eye on you. What do I do until then?

Do I just continue. Do what you must. Travel the world. Use what I've taught you. Learn about injustice. Those you don't trust, follow them. Bend them. Make them tell the truth and admit their guilt. Find wherever corruption is.

root it out, and let the system do its job. If the system isn't doing its job, destroy the system. Why are you doing this? Why me? Because a long time ago, I was a wayward girl with no direction, who was angry and fighting at the world. And someone did this for me. You know, I don't really believe in systems or being a part of them, let alone a system

that takes down other systems seems almost hypocritical. Perhaps. But, who knows? Maybe one day you'll find the corruption inside our own. Tushay. Get some rest. Clean up a bit, I think you could use it. You might have broke my wrist. It'll heal. Yeah.

Zinoth. You're gonna slap some awake. His unconscious body on the ground. Bye, Zinov. Zina. Zina. Zina. Zina. Oh dear. Bye. Goodbye. I have such great pleasure in saying goodbye and good riddance.

No, leave. And you make your way back to the tavern, go back into the room, and exhaustedly pass out. Let's bring everybody else back in. Hi, friends. Hi. Are you alive? I'm sure everything went according to plan. Quiet, dignity and grace.

As you welcome to consciousness in the morning, a little sore, but recovered mostly from the battle that wrecked you the evening before. The fresh smells of cooked meats and the sounds of various patrons below in the inn tavern floor. rouse you to the morning. What do you wish to do? Ah. Hi, guys. Sorry, I snuck in last night. How did she look? She's beat the shit. Oh, fuck!

Did you get horse kicked? Several times. Damn, how's the horse look? Horse is fucking dead. I ate it. It's a bit excited. Ah, awesome. Horse is fucking fine. Hey, Jester, kid, do you have like a bandage? Do you have like a thing? Oh, yes, of course I do. I have a lot of bandages because I am the cleric.

I don't know if that moment's supposed to be sticking out of that park. Yes, I'm going to open the medical kit and rum it around. Pull out some stuff. Give me a wrist. I can definitely heal this. and pop it back into place. I mean, not crack. Make a medicine. You just made a bow. String and mime.

Your hands. Oh, you made a worse. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 20. Okay. It's actually fairly well-maned. I give us some nice support to it.

I mean, it's more of a sprain than a break. Sure. But, you know, it helps offer some support to it. It'll probably heal. Some sprains that feel like breaks. Yeah, no. It hurts like a bitch, or it did last night. Or it feels a little better today,

but that's definitely going to help give it some support. Good job. Thank you. What happened to you? I've been practicing. I feel, I feel I feel refreshed, almost like. What happened to hurt? Leveled up? No, maybe not. So, man, it was a great night. I had a great night. I haven't had a great night in a long time, you guys. That was a great night. With the guy. You came in really late. I'd like to see the other guy. I might have been accepted. into like a secret society. It's kind of secret society business. It's kind of hard to talk about. Are you allowed to talk about it? Tell us about it. Okay. No, I can't.

It's fine. It's fine. There are these monks. I thought they hated me. It turns out they like me. Turns out they want me kind of like our gang. But like, but like, but it's not really real, and now like just keep doing your thing, but like, you're against injustice and seek out truth and break systems. You are a hero. Is this one of those streams where nobody has their clothes on? You know, if the monks beat you up to make them join your gang, they're not really your friends. You know, I kind of said something like that to her. It wasn't as black and white as that.

Was that why they did that to your face there? Oh, no, they didn't. Apparently they were pretty, you know, that was. I wouldn't say this woman was my friend. I would say she's definitely a badass. I wouldn't say she's my friend. And this woman, was she with the feller that you left with last night?

She was. He's an organist at the Colbalt Reserve. A lot of books there. A lot of book. He was in the court. We met him, he was, yeah. So was this a test of some sort? I think so.

I think so? I mean, they made you a hero, so obviously you did. I'm not a hero. That's not what they did. It's more of like a vigilante. Like what we said. That's what we said. Yeah.

This is so great. Can they let us into the secret society too? No. Well, you know, this is very fascinating. I have some errands to run. Not would you like to run errands with me? We are totally coming back and not. leaving on our own undercover. Inside check. Inside check.

Inside check. Bring it on. Do you need an inside check to know that was shady as fuck all? Fifteen. I love it. Persuasion. You don't have to tell me what you're rolling. I wrote a natural 20. All right. So? Whatever. I'm being very honest. We're not going anywhere. But I do have errands to run. So we're going to leave soon. Have some breakfast. I grabbed some bacon from Ford Fjord's plate and grab knot and head out the door.

Meas at the circus. I'm going to draw in my sketchbook a drawing of the devil-toed head rolling along the ground like a bowling ball. And she really did. She really did. Well, kind of. I put a little bowling ball thing on her. And he's going to run it to all of us in chains being knocked down like pins. Okay.

All right. Roll a dexterity, Chuck. Look, there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one happy, sad, confused. I'm Josh Horowitz, and yeah, I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly happy, sad, confused, the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers. From Andrew Garfield and Scarlett Johansson to Christopher Nolan, casting what ifs, backstage stories, and much more.

Listen to Happy Say I Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. You know that feeling when you hear one interesting thing and suddenly you want to know more. Well, that's the idea behind my podcast, something you should know. Every episode starts with a question you've probably never thought to ask, like why people do or don't like you, why certain habits stick, or what everyday advice is actually wrong. I'm Mike Carruthers, and I talk with scientists, authors, and experts, and I keep it practical, surprising, and fun to listen to.

If you've got a curious brain, come try one episode of something you should know. On the podcast app you're listening to right now. It's very well done. There's like hatchmark shading. Well, I did get a really good training, so it's good that I'm not to be shading. All right, what are you guys doing? The rest of you, while they rush off to go about their area.

Apparently, even less of my bacon, motherfucker. I'm gonna pack up and head back to the circus, start getting things together. All right. I think I'll join you. Yeah. All right, so Molly and you're heading back to the the carnival grounds.

I want to go try to buy a map. Okay. It's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I did actually want to see that map. I'll meet you there. Okay.

Actually, you know what? I want to see you see that map. I think that's a great idea. Seeing me see a map is something pretty special. It's gorgeous. It's fabulous. All right, so, you guys, where are you heading off to? So, I have two places to go to go to.

The first, we're going to the burnished biblios. The second is a surprise. But I know that I whisked your way in a hurry the other day, and you weren't done browsing. That sounds lovely, and I would like to browse there again. But honestly, Caleb, I am very, very worried about you. You have passed out twice in the last few days. And unless we get you a healing potion,

there is no promise that you will still be alive tomorrow. I think we should go to natural remedies. You distract the owner while I go in the back and I steal a healing potion. It's the only way to guarantee your safety. Maybe that's the third place that we go. But I will point out your point, which was that these crazy bastards are very distracting and strange.

Yeah? Yes. So they could be my healing potion, you know? We'll talk about it. Third place. Third place. So drag her off to the burnished biblios. Boom, in the door. All right. You head inside. It looks as chaotic as you left it. You see what looks to be a small bowl of some sort of a heated porridge that's kind of gathered on the counter and cross-legged on top is the fantastic gnomish purveyor of the interior, Oglin. Hello? Good day to you, sir. Am I?

Her day to you as well. I give not a little shove over towards the shelves and walk up to him right up the counter. What are you eating there? That looks good. Breakfast? All right, yeah, that's what that is. You know, I just wanted to thank you for their book.

I don't know if you read it yourself, but I read it cover to cover quickly. And it was fascinating and very useful. I hope you're doing stuff over that. All sales are final. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.

I have read this book and loved it, and if you would like to purchase it for the low, low price of one gold, you can sell it again. You sold it to me for three, you have it back for one, you can turn a profit. Make a persuasion check. Natural 20. Yay! He watches some of the pores, kind of spilling out the side of his mouth and kind of rubs it off.

All right, and he pulls the gold coin out of his pouch. That is a good decision, and it was a good book, and I am grateful for the knowledge you have imparted upon me. Might I have the book? Oh, of course. It's right here on the table. Sorry, grandfather. All sales are final. Right, and you will not sell that back to me, for sure.

Do you want it? I can sell it to you for three gold. That's a good price. Not, how are you doing? It's really good. All done for the day. I'm looking around for something to swipe. Make an investigation tag.

You just shaking down this poor no-go. Ten. Looking around, I mean, a lot of this is knick-knacks and inane garbage and things that just aren't quite worth what you'd be looking for. You do kind of... kind of, you find one art piece that looks like it's a pretty good art piece. The decent frame

might be worth a little bit, but that's the best you can find. Everything else here looks like it's the dingy side of the Salvation Army. Anything small or, oh, can I find my old flask that I left here? Yes, I'll let you do that. It has not moved from where you placed it. Okay, I'm going to steal back my old flask. Make a sleut-hand check, please. What is that little denser toy between the three red mushrooms on the shelf behind you? Is that a music box there? It is a music box.

It takes it and cranks it. 24. It was a music box. Oh, well, it's kind of lost the match. I can fix it. How long would that take? Breaks it open, looks inside. Oh, three days.

Okay, well, I'll come back and see your work in three days. Okay. Work on that and your breakfast? Yeah. Hey, and not, are you ready? Mm-hmm. All right, well, good day to you. Happy sales? Happy sales as well?

Uh, sure. Boom, out the door. Sorry. Yeah, I rolled a 24, so I... Yeah, you can not notice at all. Okay, so I'm going to head in the direction dragging my goblin friend with me to that fancy bathhouse that was described to me last night at the Nook. Okay. Yeah.

You guys make your way southward. I will say go ahead and make, just make a general charisma check. Charisma check. Oh, well, something I wanted to do before we got there. I was going to do it maybe in an alley. But you tell me is I would like to cast disguise self on myself. Okay. And it will be presumably gone into an alleyway, so no one sees me doing this in the middle of the road.

I take the form of a man in very fancy green robes, beautiful blonde hair, very handsome man, with a vomit stain down the front of my clothes. Okay, which is specific and easily done. Yeah. And when I drag my little friend along with me, you are going to like this. This is something very special. I'm excited. Oh, Chrisma check.

It's just straight Chrisma? Straight charisma. I had your modifier. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's 11. 11, okay. With your form, your disguise self form, it's easy enough for you to ask a few questions, and eventually you're given directions to what is called as the warm-dew, the warm-dew bathhouse.

Warm-d-d-d-W. Warm-d-d-D-O-O-O. D-E-W. Ah, dew, dew. There's a liquid U in that. A warm dew. Warm dew. Thank you.

Well, it'll be one before you bathe there and the other when you leave. Let's enter this establishment. As you come inside, this is a pretty, for like, as far as south as this is, it's pretty decent compared to the other areas. In fact, most of the Hillsward is, you get the sense that a lot of the rural farming community that fills out most of Trostomwald, a lot of the money that gets made. a lot of the money that gets made goes directly to the central portion of this ward with this bathhouses. And it's small, but it's really, really well put together. As you walk inside, you can see there are marble busts set on the sides of the entranceway, each side. You can see nice tapestries that are kind of pulled back over the windows. And as you walk in, both of you, you see this young man, maybe his mid-20s or so human, but

he looks very thin and sickly, kind of, almost. He maybe just had a rough upbringing, and his general constitution has suffered for it. But he has a warm smile, and he's wearing these long white robes with what looks to be almost like a yellowish scarf that's wrapped around, and he approaches, hello and good morning, can I help you? Yes, one moment. Stay close to me, let me do the topic. Hello, please don't...

Focus, so my daughter is shy, okay? I'm very sorry. I've had a terrible day. Some disgusting derelict has vomited all over me. I smell like filth, and I would like to spend a couple of hours in your finest bath, maybe not your finest, a good bath for a couple of hours. My daughter and I, we need to, I will need adjoining beds,

if you have that, some sort of, you know, for modesty's sake, my daughter and I. That can be done. Of course. Make a persuasion check. There's a 12. All right, for two hours, that'll run for two baths, we'll put it at eight silver pieces. Oh, that's fine. Yeah, I have definitely held that. I take out the eight silver, I slap it down.

Wonderful. We'll show you to your bathroom. Okay. Come along, dear? Yes, Vata. You guys are escorted to what you smell, and it's really off-putting for two of you. Not only does it smell clean inside here, but there's like the scent of lavender in the hallway, and you hear like soft music in the distance.

As you walk past, you do see that there is a resident violinist that just plays, and you guys are led to these two. This is really nice! Yes, it is, it is. They've got a violinist over there. I'm sorry. They got a violinist over the water. That's my nalibschen.

So I'm hoping for a hot bath for the both of us. It has been a long bit of travel. Right this way. Thank you. And it leads you into the chambers. And there is a glass, a fogged window, so the sunlight comes through, but no one can see through. There are some linen set out, a towel,

two basins that are freshly filled with steaming water, and you are left into the chamber. Are they separate though? They're separated by like a small wall, that's about eye length, but you can still talk to each other over it. Excellent. So this is called a bath. I've heard of them. Yeah. A hot bath, so we have been pretty dinged up for the past several months. We might not get back into something like this for a while, so I want you to enjoy it.

So go over to your side, and I will be here. I'm going to do a, not I'm going to do a bit of reading. While you bathe? Yes. You'll still be the same Caleb when you're done, right? Of course I would be the same Caleb. Well, I've just gotten used to you, and now you're going to change a bit. Trust me, I will not. So, once she is clear of the wall, I'm going to start

actually disrobing, although I guess the illusion stays. The illusion stays. Yeah. So strangely, you just all of a sudden start per- Closed to start apparating out of you. It's like a bad video game glitch, like bad texture glitch. So not, I'm probably going to go quiet for a little while. No problem. I'll just be over here, you know,

Bathing. Yeah. Enjoy it. I find the second book and examine it. Okay. Am I able to read this? You are, actually. The final pages include, and there is one incomplete arcane inscription in there.

Unfortunately, it's been too burned beyond recognition, but you can see this was a spell book. There's mostly destroyed. But there are two complete spells in there that if you wish to you could transcribe over into your book. And those would be Arcane Locke and Unseen Servant. So, all my actual clothes are off and I'm going to take the book and set it on the edge of the basin where it was... There is actually, because you paid for it, there is a hinged

like a small desk piece where like food can be eaten or drinks can be eaten or drinks can be served, people are taking a bath? Some champagne. I set it down. That book William shit. And I sit with just my legs in the bath for a moment and I look at the book. I'm going to find the picture of cucumber water. Dump it on the floor and eat all the cucumbers.

Look at your dreams. Did you hear of the wall? Look around for any. Look around for anything in the room that can be stolen. Plenty of things, actually. And no one's watching. There's like a vase that's really nice. There are, I mean, the doorknob itself is like a very brass gold-like material.

I'll start working on that. Okay. You're probably using your thieves tools. You could get that out if you wanted to. After a while, I put a toe into the water, feel it, and I'm just, just like, nah, nah. No, no, no. Now, one of my empty flas can just fill it up with water.

Okay, you got a water flask. And then just work on the doorknob. Okay, so go ahead and make a thieves tools check, adding your dexterity. Okay, it's 12. So dexterity and your proficiency in tapes. Oh, 14. There you go.

So with very little sound, doorknob just comes off. And you have now a solid brass doorknob. There is the vase. Is it a big vase? Am I gonna be bulky? It's like that big. It's more of a decorative like flower holder over by the window. Sure, I'll try to get that too. Easy. You get it. Like there's nobody watching you. I'll also save the flowers in a separate pocket. Okay, there you go.

And any towels? Ooh, you know what? Yeah, the linens can be taken. Are you gonna take one towel? and tear it to shreds and use it to replace any of my bandages that have worn. Easy enough, nice clean bandages, good. Okay, I'm good. All right. So on my side, specifics, two specifics, two specifics.

While all of that is happening, two things. One is that when I finally get into the tub, I dip my whole body almost entirely in, but not my head or hair. So the whole, just letting the brew. bruises soak in the hot water, which feels wonderful. The second thing is while flipping the pages of this book, very still, I can hear all of this, and it is extremely endearing,

but I go completely still, completely quiet, and read in peace. Okay, all right. So while you guys are taking a bath, the rest of you are going off on a show shopping trip. Except for you, you're going to do. No, I'm going map. That's right, you're going, yeah.

So who's all going together? We're fucking getting on the map. All of you guys. So where are you going? Okay, I'm going to ask Yorda if there's a map maker in town. If you can draw us a map of how we get there. There's no much of like a specific cartographer in place.

Most of the cartography guilds are up north and either as a dash or accentrum. There might be one. Is there some... One in Allfield? We're a bit small over here. You could ask the general store or you can maybe go to the stockade. They have maps there but they use those. You might be able to pay enough for it, but...

I don't want to go back to the stockade. Then maybe check the general store. Okay, okay. Or any of the strange bookplaces might have something old and lying in the back. Ooh, what strange book places? Well, let's see. There's the, um... There's the Hillsbrook, parchment and binding.

There's the burnished biblo, which I think one of your friends is already. I guess there's two strange book places. I know what you've reader myself, so I couldn't tell you. Can you draw me a map of how to get to those places? We've already been to the General Store. Yes. You're right. I guess we can just try that place. I mean, you can still make her draw a map. I didn't want to rain on your parade.

No, it's okay. You just shit all over there. I totally did. I totally did. She gives you directions. She gives you directions. Okay. Let's go on a trip.

Where are you guys going first? General Store. We went there before. I want to buy another health pack. The heller's kit. The Healer's kit. The General Store doesn't like us very much. Oh wait, that Healer's kit, is that the one you bought when we were together?

Yeah. And you spent way too much money on it because I changed the tag? Do you change the tag? Yeah. Yeah, that one. It's great, and now I have it. Yeah, and now you have it, yep. Cool.

You won twice. Everything is coming up, Jester. All right, let's go back there. They don't like me, but let's go back there. I mean, I can just, like, pop in if you want to wait outside. They don't like you either. Yeah, but they like money. Let's go.

All right, so you guys make you read a Lockword General in the Lockword District? Yes. Okay, as you enter, let's see, there is, yes, The old Roman Harper Mintz is there in the general store. As you enter, it's the large, almost wooden barn type exterior. The front door opens two ways in the inside. It's the walls. Wall-to-wall is just lined with tools for farming equipment for building. There's lumber. There's all sorts of like iron nails. It's by all accounts a rural general store. And you see on the far end as Harper, you see the the older woman there, standing and looking at it the rest of you. Hi, can I help you? You're, what's you looking for? You're looking for pickles. Did you get that yet?

No, we don't sell pickles here. Sorry. Most general stores have pickles. It's the only things most places. Generally. You're not wrong, generally. Yeah, yeah. How about the map? We can order some pickles if you like. I think you would do well if you sold pickles. Do you have maps for sale of the area? The area, let me check. You know.

I'll be right back. Oh God. Turns around and she goes. The she leaves us in the room. She does. She leaves the room. Mani Petty bag. Don't put your hands in your pockets. Don't put my hands in my pockets.

Got it. I start running around and just moving everything on the shuddypegy. moving everything on the shelves again the same way as before. Make a slight a hand check. You're just moving things? Yeah, just like moving. Please be Laura when she was five and break shit. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes, yes. 18 plus five. This is beautiful. With Nerea squeak, you completely rearrange in a period of about two and a half minutes. Most of the price cards that are dangling from a number of the tools, from a number of the tools, their placement. You guys all kind of sit back and watch

as this glorious display. You can almost hear the William Tell Overture begin to play in the back of your head as she just rummages back and forth throughout the interior of the chamber, turning things around and sticking them in the ground. It has been completely rearranged. Why is this crowbar seven gold?

Okay. So eventually you hear some rummaging from the back room and some footsteps coming nearby, and you quickly stop and return to your agenda point there, and Harper Minsky returns in the back room. She has a few papers in her arms. She goes, I'm sorry, we don't have any maps of like the local area for detail.

I have a map of the Dwendali and Empire as a whole. I hope that's enough. I mean, that could work, I suppose. It's not what we need, but if that's what you have, That's what we can buy from you. All right, let me look at the date here. All right, this will run about seven silver. Okay, that sounds like a good price.

Yeah. Can I also get another Healer's Kit if you have one? Right, right, yes. Let me go ahead and get that for you here. The Healer's Kit, you get the pricing in the equipment section. Let me check my player's handbook. That is five gold pieces for the healer's kit.

Five gold. All right, mark it off, and you get yourself a secondary healer skit. Well, one healer's kit. She's got the other. All right, and you hand over the seven silver. Yes, I do. And she takes it and kind of puts the ribbon back on it

and give that to you guys. Oh my God! Shut the front door. I've got a little bit of a little bit. And I have a pretty ribbon out of it. All right, we're gonna goonies this really quickly. Are you ready? Oh.

What the fuck? Wow. That's beautiful. You made this. Did you make this? Oh no. I designed the layout, but the map is actually made by a wonderful woman named Devin Rue who does incredible handcrafted maps, which if you don't... I got a camera on this shit.

Hold it up. Hold it up. Should we... Take a look. It's amazing. We're putting it on the map. Oh, shit. Oh my God.

So wait, where are we? We are here. You guys are too Austin Wald. Okay. This is north, this is south. Angola to that camera. Where's one eye, Willie? Oh.

There you go. Wow. So this is the Dundalian Empire. This is not all of wild map. This is just a portion of it. But yeah, Devin did an incredible job on this. Someday, all of this will be yours. Nikes.

Which, you should follow her on Patreon or Twitter if you don't know. She does amazing work. She does incredible work. You guys, let's go all of this. these places. I mean a... Okay, we're definitely going to visit this place called Hopperduke. I think I had one of those this morning.

And then we'll make our way up to Nagrott. After about half an hour and not a room. Oh man, this is awesome. Hey, look, look over here. This is where I live. There be dragons there. You live on a serpent. And by the way, it is Devin who did that map.

It is her birthday today. Oh! Birthday, David! Happy birthday. This is amazing. This is amazing. Okay, okay, I'll leave it up here. We'll just put one of our...

If you pull out a real medicate, now I'm going to be really excited. I thought it would work. 50 bandages goes to line. She did an incredible job. Wow. But, so the exchange is done. You have your map. Anything else you want to handle?

Medicaid. I got it. I got that medikid. Can I just look around and see if there's anything interesting to buy in here? Like, I don't know. I mean, there's plenty of tools. There are various packs of supplies.

Are there, how am I doing? I guess if I bought the painter's kit, then it just kind of stays and I just don't run out of that. Over time, you would run out of it. But I'm good on to play. You're good on it for now. Yeah, okay. I got it around there.

Can I actually approach the store keep and say, do you know of any stores that have arcane items, things with magical properties, healing potions? I'm sorry, we're a bit out of the center of the countryside for arcane items. You want to go further north for that. Further north? Yeah.

I appreciate your time. Thank you. Of course. This town blows. Her in the state. She's right. I don't care. Shall we depart?

Sure. Thank you so much for this beautiful map. You did a really good job drawing it. Well, it's not important. Okay, okay, okay. I also really like what you've done with the place. Thank you very much. Let's go, bye, thank you.

I'm... Gotta go... As you guys all exit, she begins to come around the counter like, Ling, Ling, Ling, Ling, bling, bling, bling. Wherever we go, I'm just going to bury my head in the map and walk behind everybody with like total tourist walking around the rest of the time. All the stairs? Yeah.

Fair enough. Are we going to be able to, well that's the question. Are we going to be able to grab like a card or two from the circus? You can probably get a cart. Like one of the little, like little Vardoes or going to be a cart? Ordoes, or can we snag a Vardo? Technically, it's A-Vardo, and it looks like the three of them Orna are taking all three of the Vardo's are taking.

Well, there's A-Vardo. There's A-Vardo, and then there's some carts. You weren't rolling with a pretty heavy, you know. Most of your supplies were brought. Honestly, most of the room in the carts, too, was either for carrying you guys, whatever small bags you have with you, and the poles that you would assemble to make the tents. So, are you guys done with your business? Anything else I wanted to worry out about?

That's it for me. There's nowhere we can buy healing potions in this city. No. I mean there's natural remedies which you've passed before but not entered. Oh, it's an herbal kind of healers establishment. I'm very wary of this, but fine. He's got to smell like Sephora. I know it's...

Sephora. Sephora. That's the fancy version of it. Now you guys had left earlier, so as you guys had towards natural remedies. You guys finish your bath. Yeah, before leaving, so I pack up and I have to cast, I said we're staying for like an hour. So I cast the sky's self again to keep the illusion going. Well, I'm done. You look. I splashed some water like on my face. Refreshed?

Oh, oh, it was such a good bath. I'm ready to go now. I feel refreshed. Did you like it though? It was a once in a lifetime experience. Well, I wanted to repay you for all you've done for me for the past couple of days, so I'm glad that I could. Consider it, pay. Good. Let's, uh, you look, you look, you look the same.

Yes, side note. Does he look the same? Yeah. The brief moment that I was in my own guise, this is still nothing changed up here, so I look exactly the way I did this morning. What's the purpose of that? Who said that?

So you wanted to do something, right? I wanted to go to herbal remedies and see if we could get you a healing potion. Well, let's do that then. All right. You lead the way. Well, wait. You lead the way outside. Let's keep our little schick going here and then off we go.

All right. As you guys exit. Our feet are seen! Where's the door not? I trust you enjoyed your time at the bath, thank you. Yes, but we have to go here. Sorry, I'm late for a very important point. Of course, of course, that's fine.

Because I saw no doorknob on the door. Yeah, and amongst other things. All right, you guys, make your way out and beeline it towards the lockward to where you would find Natural Remedies. So the rest of you guys, as you approach the exterior, you find amongst the rest of the buildings in the central city, natural remedies is, for lack of a better term, humble. It's a small shack, but as soon as you approach it,

has very, very strong pungent smells, of funguses and, kind of yeah. Instant headache. Yep. On the outside you can see, right over where the doorway is open, there are strings of herbs that are tied up and left to dry out. On the inside, you can already see that there are

shelves and shelves of various flora and fauna that are being cultivated for various remedies and means of selling to anybody who wants to combine, to cure herbal medicines. So let's see, whoever's handling this one would be, because you guys have not been here yet. Okay, so as you enter the main chamber, I'm sorry, I will say on the way there

that I dropped the disguise somewhere halfway. Usually you know. Thanks. So you guys haven't arrived yet. You guys have arrived. As you enter the interior, it's a very kind of musty smell on the inside too. There's a lot of fungus being grown on the inside here and you can see elements of it may have expanded into the corners of the

actual room and have, are, it's not necessarily the nicest space to be wandering, but it seems natural. Across the way you see a gentleman of relatively tan skin with darker hair that's a bit ratty and clustered. He's maybe in his late or 20s or so, it looks to be, upon closer inspection, partial elven blood, partial human blood. And he's in the process of carefully carving a large stalk of, looks like a fungus off of a small pot that he had pulled off one of the shelves. As you enter, he doesn't even make eye on that. He goes, uh, hello, please just wait a moment. There we are. So, hi. Can I help you? Yeah, my friends keep dying. Do you have any health potions?

We have a handful, that is correct. Are you, how many are you looking to purchase? How many do you have? Four. Ooh, that will last us probably like a day. What do you do for a living? We are superheroes. Sword jugglers. Why would, all right, fine, that's hard.

Who am I to ask? Look at this bruce. I cut fungus for a living. Look, it's in the shape of a dick. I'm not going to ask. So, four, did you want then? Sure, yes. How much for four healing potions?

Four healing potions. Ah. And he pulls up and pops him on the table. 240 gold. This is. Level two. Level two. Level two.

I open up my pack and I pour out of my money. I start counting out. So, do you have a deal, you know, if we got all of them? That seems pretty high, right? You know, that seems pretty high for a healing potion. No name. Make a persuasion check with disadvantage. It seems pretty good.

Yasha, the Wheeler and dealer. Representative of Guar. Hmm. Three. No, actually, I think it's rather standard in these parts. But I can put them back. Healing potions aside, you are doing something really interesting and exciting here. What actually, you're not a healing potion dealer.

What are you doing here? Like this is fascinating. Oh, I create all sorts of means of tending tending to wounds and loss of stamina. To be honest, a lot of people come around here for performance enhancing goodness. But. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like you can excite me.

I feel like there's something that you have to show this really, really exciting. I'm not entirely sure it's all about stamina. I think you've got something you did that on purpose. I think that's a, I don't know, this is, talk to me like I'm a child. Show me something I've never seen before. Make a persuasion check.

Not with advantage because I don't have it, but I was so excited. No. No, persuasion check. All right. 19. He goes, I'm fishing for drugs. I'm not gonna lie.

100%. It's not on the road a long time. I don't remember how to do this. He kind of leans in close to you. Mine closing the door. I skip over to the door and gingerly close it. Keep curious company. That's true. Yes, I do.

And we're leaving town today. Those are magical words for a man of my business. Be a fan of skiing. I don't actually know what that is. And he kind of goes back into the back chamber, comes back with a small kind of satchel, and there's a kind of fine fine thinly dried, dusted material on the inside.

It has kind of a grayish blue color to it. He goes, this is a dried and round fungus called skein. It's called skein, because when you eat it, you can see the weave of time. Is that what skein means? It's a woven skein. It's a joke on fate, never mind. I thought it was very, very clever.

Thank you very much. It's effective. It's popular on the outskirts, where it's not so heavily controlled and carries a huge jail time. How much you're looking to purchase? Oh, just a, just as, I'm gonna be honest I'm not made of money, but I'm always curious for no experience. Can I do an inside check on this guy? Sure, go for it. See if he's trying to scam us. Go for it. Can I use my criminal background? Sure.

To, um, no if I'm a Right, right. Orisha said that, not by regard. To know if I'm, if he's actually given one of his goofiness. You know what? Why is she talking about it? Well, make your inside check. Make your inside check.

Just straight inside. Straight inside. I would have hoped 18. Not as good as I hoped 18. That's pretty good. Level two. That's a, right. That's a slam-tunk of level two.

Yeah. Seems on the level, seems excited that somebody's asking about it. You get the sense that maybe he makes a lot of this either for himself or in hopes that somebody asks about it. It is seemingly excited that somebody in this bum-fuck town in his opinion would even have interest. And you have once encountered the substance before and it does seem legit. Okay. Okay. How do we know if it's good quality though? Can I give it a sample?

Well, this might be complicated, though. I think just, like, what would be... How about a few experiences? Few experiences worse. What would that run me? The experiences were. Hey guys, we're dealing D&D drugs. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for dragging the entire audience into this. Hopefully your children are already asleep. I do apologize. D&D Beyond, everybody.

Our fine sponsor for the evening. Thank you. Thank you for really bringing that to Earth for me. We are. You started this. I'll put you in a golden experience. All right. I'll be in for, yeah, put me in for one. I'll try anything once.

All right, and he takes a small batch of this dried, kind of almost powdered fungus and takes and puts it into a small glass vial, corks it and hands it over. I'm not going to let my friend experience it alone. Skeen. S-K-E-I-N. E-I-N. You should take it with them.

You should take it with them. Right now. No, this is not how this works. This is not how this works. We just, we bank our moments for those moments when life is disappointing. I know a unique substance when I see it, I'll take one as well. Oh my God. This can come in handy in all sorts of ways.

Ha ha ha ha. Can I try to slip the potions off the counter while he's fast-paw? The fact that you had this ready means that there's no shame here. You are ready for this? You're right. any of this up on the spot at all. I can tell. I can tell. Yeah, this guy went from like the Simpson's Safeway clerk to the shadiest motherfucker and like a snap of time because of your question.

A big purple pierced demon walked into the room and was like, hello. I know. Yes, can I help you, good sir. Yes, I can. I'll tell you what, because you are such a purveyor of such interesting items, I will take one of those health potions but for 50 gold. That's the running price I've seen in neighboring towns, and I don't mean to be swindled. And I assumed you'd want to go ahead and, you know, give it to us for that so that we keep this a secret.

Make a persuasion check with advantage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes. We don't make the advantage, but that's great. 21. Yeah. Real good. 50 gold, and he kind of pulls his hair back a bit.

Seems as fair. Takes a potion, he hands it over. And he goes ahead and scoops a little vial and says, and for fun, and he throws it over. Cut to an hour later, someone's jamming an adrenaline needle. I know, I know. TPK by Miss Use. Somewhere around 118.

This is going to be hilarious. Somewhere on level eight, somebody's gonna go shopping in the restaurants, we're gonna be like, this is now, this is happening now. This has become the longest after school special, I think we've ever experienced. Of years in the making, the press box, very. So yeah. He immediately gets nervous at her mention of... She's fine, she's just awful.

You're a gentleman. I hope to see you again. Looking forward to this. I'll be here. And of course, we never met you, you never met us. Of course. I don't know who you are. I am already out the door with a flourish. At which point, you run outside just as Caleb and Not are approaching.

And I just said before we go out, I say, you don't even want to know. Nice to meet you, Mr. Okay. Davies. The decision was still happening. When the time you got to the last letter. I go, okay. Davey's.

You know what to do now, Davey. Kill them all. Money back into my pouch, I believe. Okay. Did you want anything? No. No. And you bump into Caleb and not on the way out.

Oh. What's the matter? Do you have a colt? You don't smell bad. What did you do? Actually, ironically, his clothes do still smell pretty bad, and he still looks awful. You don't smell as bad. That's true, yeah. On a gradient scale, he does smell a little better. There, we'll take that as a compliment.

Thank you. What are you guys doing here? You're shopping. What are they having that? They bought drugs. Now, that is an over-exaggeration. Extreme over-exaggeration. We got a health potion.

All of you? Well, it was kind of a ploy to get a cheaper health potion. And it works. We got it. And we got drugs on top of it. It was a win-win, am I right? So if you guys go in there and you buy a health potion, don't spend as much as he says, because apparently he was lying.

How much did they run for? Well. The potions were quoted as 70, but he was kind enough to understand that 50 was enough. Gold. North we go. North, we go. North. To the horses.

We have a plan for the day? Yes, and I show them the map that we just got. We're heading that way. I'm impressed. Your face. Can I take the ribbon that was wrapped around the map and tie it around one of my horse? Easily enough. Oh, that's cute.

Thank you. Not nice. We could rob the store. the store. Do you have a strategy for that? I mean, we could use one of our pre-planned strategies. Which one would that be? Because I was thinking about it on the walk here, and I don't, I can't think which one applies.

I'm going to say, D. I'm going to say, do you? Robbing shady people is usually a bad idea. Do we hear them doing this plan? Do we hear you doing this? No. out loud if you're close. I mean, we could just do the simplest, just the prince and the pauper and...

Here's the thing. I have died almost twice in two days. We have our friends, friends, and I think that's a good way to start. All right. I mean, you know, we've almost all got pinched yesterday, and it's still the same thing. You're right. We should.

We should leave town with our wits about us and full of health. So let's just go while we're ahead. Besides, I got plenty of stuff today. Let's go. Okay, where are we going first? Oh, we're heading north to... Jesus. Yeah, besides the map.

We're heading north. I mean, we can stop through. all field first and see if there's anything cool there. Or what city was it that the academy was in? That was in... Solstress? No, wait, the Solteris Academy. Solterish.

But is that the name of the town? No, it's the name of the town. I mean the ultimate goal you guys is to get to Happer Duke, but... What about yogurt? That's an afterthought. Oh, it usually is. How far off does Hopperduke look? Well, we have to pass through Felderwyn and the Felderwin village first.

Let's skip that one, please. Oh, is that the one you don't like? Then we'll go up through Alfield and then Zadash, and then we'll cross across and go to Hopperduke. Is that where your clan is from? Wait. You don't want to go to Zadash, is that right? It's cool, we can go back. Oh.

It's cool now? Yeah, I mean there's a few places that I didn't get to see in my sightseeing roundabout, didn't get to hit everything. So, you know, I've had a left, slept down it, had a change apart. It's a nice town. How far away, how long of a travel would it be to get to Zedash from where we are now? Zadash, I believe, I believe following the road is longer, but it's safest. That'll probably be close to 200 miles to Saddash. We're on foot. No, we've got a cart.

No carpet. A cart. You do have a cart and a horse. A cart and a horse. A cart and a horse. You guys are going to miss that shit, aren't you? A horse and a cart. Let's go back to the inn.

Don't come around a mama. And ask Yorda if she knows if Allfield is a big city. Do I have any knowledge of O'Fields? Wait, I came through O'Field, didn't I? No, you guys traveled around. You went from Felderwyn and kind of curved around to the Eusteluk. That's right. Allfield is actually slightly smaller than Trosten-Wald.

It's a stop on the way to Zadash. Zadash is pretty, it's the second largest, like, city, technically, in the kingdom. What do I know about Zadash that I could tell him? Can I tell him anything? It was the last conquest of the city. bastion of the previous government before the Empire entirely took the valley. That's right. And they're kind of, Zadash is kind of on the edge of the Empire too, right?

It was, but now it's more central. It expanded past and took over, like, Trostomol-Lawfield. It expanded all the way into the valley, so. Will you share your map with me for just for one minute? Of course. Oh, thank you. This is a good trick he does. He can look at it once and it'll stay with him forever.

Really? Yes, it's amazing. It's amazing. You can quiz him on it later. While he's memorizing it, Yasha, is that your name again? Yasha. It's like Ash with a A. Not really, but close enough. I got you these flowers. Oh. Thought they might guss you up a bit. It's a lot of drab colors, and also maybe you won't kill me.

me now. I'm not going to kill you. I know. I gave you the flowers. Girls like flowers. I love flowers. Did you get to me any? I didn't because you're less of a threat. You don't know that. That was very nice of you, thank you. Sure. Didn't peg you for a flowers type of girl. Definitely didn't pick you for flowers. Oh, girls like flowers. I take out my, um, a book that I have. Um. And in between some of the pages is a four-leaf clover. And then I'll take the flowers and I'll put them in between the other pages.

And then I'll put it away. You see? It doesn't hurt to be nice sometimes. I mean it can though. Well, it hurts you. It looked like somebody was very nice to you the night before, over and over again. over again. Oh, she was.

But I mean, you guys, we are going to Zedash. I mean, is that what we're saying? We're going to go to the dash. Sure, let's do that. What's our goal in the dash? I don't know. I just need to know where we're going, okay? That's on the way to the Solstress Academy?

The Solteris. Solstress? Solstis. I can see it. You're an academy. I know exactly. Salty rice. The Saltris.

The Saltris, which it's technically in Rexentrum, which is the capital of the Empire. This is a lot farther. Which is a lot farther. Zadash does have the only other kind of subsidiary of the Academy there, but the main Sultan's Academy is in Rexentrum the capital. But Zadash has some connection to it. I'll take it. And I mean, unless you're a foreigner, everyone knows about Rexentrum.

Yes, it's huge. For player comparison, it's twice the size of Yaman. It's a massive city. The drop. Zadash? Yeah. No, no, that's Zadash. Oh, okay. Zadash is medium or smaller. Okay.

So yeah. And how far up did that map say when I looked at it? 200 miles you said to Zadash? To Zadash roughly 200 miles or so if you're taking the road, quicker if you take a straight line, but you're not as safe. I think it's good. Are you going to walk there? Should we get horses or do we have a horse?

How many horses? We have a horse. One horse. A horse and a carriage. Well. I'm just a man can't fit all of them. Yeah, like a wagon. A wagon.

Yeah. It'll be about the same pace as on foot. At a fast pace, on foot, you guys can traverse about 30 miles a day. But that also means you're moving at a fast pace, so you're not being completely aware of your surroundings. You have a penalty to passively seeing things around you, but you get there quicker. I like it.

Why be fast? Why are we in a rush for? We can sight see. I find careful is always better. always best. Yeah, a couple of weeks on the road to a city bigger than this one. Are we all going to get along for a couple of weeks? We'll find out, I suppose.

I get along with everyone, but... That's true. That's true. I don't get along with anybody. That's also true. Two weeks is not a bad test run for companions. If we don't like it, we part ways in Zedash. Yeah, free to go at any time.

Of course. as it serves everyone, we'll stay this way. I think to stay here just a little bit longer. Um, but I will meet you guys there at some point. Why? What's you doing? Something else to do. I think I can leave here until I'm told I can.

By the authorities? No, I just... It's so mysterious. I have... things that I need to do. Name one. You know where we're headed in. Blind spot.

Poor Ashley. We make her come up with excuses every time. I've got a thing I may ask. I have reasons. Yeah, I can stay. I just need to converse with somebody to see if I can where my next step needs to be. You know you're not beholding to goose stop anymore, right?

No, yes. Yes, no, it's not him. Is it Bo? The other Bo? No. No. Is it Desmond? No.

Is it Mora? Please, Bo. Not the detectives figured this out. No. Is it Desmond? Is it on? It's on, isn't it? It's on, I knew it.

Can you hold this? Yes, of course. See? Another case cracked. It was on. Can I, before we leave, I want to, is there like anywhere in town that there will be like a courier service or something where I can send a message? There are messenger services, yeah. Yeah. Can I go find one?

Yeah, okay. For the purposes of everybody, we'll say that you find a courier service that runs fast horseback all along the roads from the Empire and then with approval outside of it to the to the South and West. Okay, I'm going to write a letter to my mother that says, Dear Mom, all of the money is gone. I don't know what happens, but I am very broke and I need more. Please help me. I'm going to Zedash. That's where you can send it. Just send it to the inn that is like the biggest one.

and I'll find it there. Just address it to me. Your loving daughter, Jester. Please, thank you. I need help, thank you. All right. For delivery to Nakedranes, the cost of the courier service,

run you about fat gold. God damn, this is expensive package. She better send money because this is really Hundreds and hundreds of miles on horseback. Man-house. Yeah. I'll give the five gold one back. Okay.

Okay. It's such a different world. Yeah. Welcome to level three after tonight. Oh, if we live. Oh, sure. While we're at the stopping by the post office, can I talk to the courier person?

Sure. You see it. It's a young girl with kind of shortish, brushed hair. She's boyish and freckled and a bit dirty in the edges of her chin. She's in the process of loading up the packs and the horse, and she's wearing like simple leather armor. It looks back to you.

Can I help you? Yeah, I was just wondering if you had any incoming mail for the bomb box. I just said that I would pick it up on the way home heading over there. Make it a deception, check. Yes. Wow. Male fraud on the way out of town. Oh, that's good.

That's good. 20, no, 19 total, 19 total. Deception? 19 total. Yeah. Let me check. Yeah, actually, we've got three small parcels on the way of the bomb box. Thank you so much. He's going to be so happy to not have to run this errand. Of course. Thank you. Bye-bye. Oh, sorry. Sorry, here you go. Pink, and give her a gold. That's very kind. Thank you. Have a good day. hops him onto the horse, and then takes off southward. Male prod.

Let's go! That is actually the worst crime we've committed today. You said how many? Like three parcels? Three parcels. And when you get to... Sadash? Yeah.

Maybe send me a note. Or maybe I'll be there. I just have to do a couple things. We'll send you a note on the way to Zadash. Okay. And then maybe you can meet those. There. Okay. That sounds like a plant. Do we have our fucking wagon ready? Wagon's ready. While everything's... I've even kind of attempted to hide some of the

contraband and otherwise. Okay. Packed well. All right. While everyone is getting ready, I see wait for a moment when Fjord is on his own and everyone is busy, walk over. This group seems rough around the itches. But you seem clever, hopefully we can make this work. I think we should be able to. Yeah. I mean, the little guidance goes a long way. You seem to be good at looking out for not.

I mean, full disclosure, I'm a little rough around the edges, but you catch my trip. I do. And you can trust us. You're safe here. I'm concerned with what happens with Jester and Bo. I think amongst all of us, of us, we should be fine. Let's make it work. We'll make it work.

Uh-huh. Ford, something in me says that for some reason you should be the one who tells the horses and wagon to go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You just see if you're the biggest maybe or? That is mighty. Mighty, considerate of you, not. Are you sure? You don't want to take a crack at it?

I could take a crack at it. The wagons be hitched. He-ha. Use your diaphragm. Really get a, yehawk, get in there. Saddle up your dogies. He-ha. One more time, on the count of three.

One, two, three. on three, I push his chest in. Ah-ho! All right. And with that, her vocal expulsion is majestic and sudden. Make an animal handling check with advantage, please. Handle to something accidental touch. With advantage?

Six. I'm still a scary goblin. The sound that comes out is less of a, yeah, more of a, like this screech sound, the horse immediately rises up and goes into a very heavy gallop, and you guys watch as the cart takes off ahead of you, and you all kind of like struggle to try and catch up for a minute. Oh, man.

With that, you guys quickly try and saunter up, heading northward along the road towards the direction of Allfield, and eventually Zadash, as you head further into the Dwindalian Empire and whatever fate has in store for you the next leg of your journey. And we'll go ahead and stop tonight's session there. Ashley Johnson, ladies and gentlemen. Hi-ha! Hi-ha!

Yeah. Oh, shit. Well, we committed felonies and mail fraud. That's good. Quite a few. Got into a bar fight. And we skipped town without paying our in-fees. You bought drugs.

We budd. We bought a little bit of mold. You know. You paid your anything. You paid you. We did pay on the way in. Yeah, we paid all the end. It's like three or four days, yeah. I guess that. Yeah, yeah. And we were rooming together.

Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who knows what Marisha did while we were out there? Yeah, we got to go back and not watch that later. Like their three rules of fight club. So yeah, you guys are all level three when we come back next week. Oh, shit. Yay!

Oh, God, we got a look. How do we do it? We got a book shop. Yeah. Oh, man, it's fun. So yeah, thank you guys for sticking around for a less intense, more character-driven episode. These early days of figuring each other out and forming a fellowship. This is kind of fun.

I love it. A bunch of assholes. I know. bunch of assholes. So thank you guys watching. Thank you again, Devin, for being an incredible artist, an incredible map maker for working with me on. Amazing. Her Twitter, I should have had this prepared in advance. You can follow Devin on Twitter at

Devon, D-E-E-V-E-N-R-U-E. Devin-R-U-E, Devin-Roo, a mistress of maps. Her work is incredible. She's a Patreon on which I'm a patron for you should be to. And it's her birthday, so say, happy birthday doing. Thank you, David. Good birthday. All right, guys. Well, have a wonderful week. Ashley, come back. Hopefully so, I never know. I'll try. So glad you were here. If anybody from Blind Spot is watching right now, kill off her character.

I mean, don't do that, but we want her back. I know. I don't think I'd be watching them are watching. All right, it's fine. We just miss her a lot. But we'll see you guys back next week. Much love to you, much love to you, and is it Thursday, yet? Good night. This episode is brought to you by Netflix's remarkably bright creatures.

What if a Pacific octopus held the key to a mystery that could heal your heart? Well, that's Tova's reality. An elderly widow working at an aquarium. Tova forms an unlikely friendship with their cramudgeonly, Marcellus, whose remarkable intelligence leads her to a life-changing discovery. Remarkably bright creatures is now playing. Only on Netflix. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not-so-dark,

not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's detective agency as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying, action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every twilligan fight. It's one heck of a tale. Which is good, because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives.

Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you. Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents The Chaotic's Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. It's ticklish business anyway. You look at it. Come on, we'll stick together.

Love movies? Love classic movies? So do we. Tick Bush Business is the podcast where classic film is discussed in modern times. Hosted by me, film journalist Kristen Lopez, and my co-host, author Emily Edwards, we dive into the golden age of cinema with fun, heart, and serious expertise. As published film historians and lifelong classic movie buffs, we bring insider insights, deep research, and lively debates with a variety of special guests, ranging from celebrities like Holly Madison to T-C-M luminaries Dave Carger and Eddie, and even family members of Old Hollywood Legends. Subscribe now to ticklish business on your favorite podcast app and let's talk about Old Hollywood today.