Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - CelebriD&D with Game of Thrones' John Bradley (Full Version)

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Recently unearthed from the archives comes the full version of CelebriD&D with John Bradley. This episode follows John Bradley (Game of Thrones) putting down his dragonglass dagger and picking up the dice to play Dungeons & Dragons alongside Critical Role's Matthew Mercer (Dungeon Master), Liam O'Brien, and Laura Bailey, as well as Nerdist's Dan Casey and Jessica Chobot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Another modern folk hero enters our realm of adventure in Celebrity and D. When traversing the open road of the Black Valley Path from Joran Village to Western, it's best to travel in numbers, if those numbers are large enough, that is. For not two days travel with the caravan southward, the sounds of war drums and savage battle cry suddenly filled the air. Hired guards encircle the patrons only to be cut down by a hooked blade and poisoned arrow. Ravagers, the scattered orc rating band, bear down on you and your traveling companions.

You fight to the best of your ability, harnessing the fight side of your fight or flight. But the orc numbers are overwhelming. You hear a terrible roar, a deep resonant bellow in the distance behind you. You turn to sea, whack! A sharp pain in the back of your skull, then darkness. Time passes an almost infinite, seeming period of time

without thought, dreams. And groggle you find yourselves awakening, your body. Your body sore and stiff. You instinctually tug and pull, and you find your wrists and ankles bound by ragged, dry rope that scrapes against the exterior of your skin as you try and tug against it. Your eyes slowly widen, and the small flickers of firelight

that enter this medium-sized tent, seemingly covered from a night-based exterior. You see piles of spoils, jewelry, and dried meats. and appears to be a number of other individuals that are not moving. You glance around to see five others who are also finding consciousness and seemingly in the same level of pain,

the life that you're currently finding yourselves in and begin to rouse quietly acknowledging with eyesight who is around you and awake. So going around the table, would you like to describe your character, introduce yourself? Hi, my name is Jessica Chobot. I am playing a Tiefling Warlock

by the name of Dietrich, who's a little bit of a noob to her demonic powers, but when S hits the fan and the darkness sets, she is on fire and will kill everyone. My name is Liam O'Brien. I play Vaxildan, the Half Elf Rogue. He's a bit of a shithead, but he would do anything for his twin sister.

I'm Laura Bailey. I'm playing Vexahlia, the Half Elf Ranger, twin sister to Vaxildon, who is unfortunately not as cool. I'm Dan Casey. Today I'm playing the Dwarf and Rogue DuPont-Dupont. If there's going to be had, I'll be there. Cha-ching. The sixth person in the group you now see

is a human male with light purple skin and a set of short, sharpened horns akin to your blood lineage. Yeah, I got real sweet horns, by the way, y'all. Hint of demonic blood in the back history. His sharpened horns protrude from the back of his head curling upward ever so slightly. And as you guys are all muttering to yourself, kind of getting a feel for who's nearby,

spits a bit of blood on the ground. It's about time you lot woke up. Welcome to your final day. He struggles against the bonds a bit. Well, I guess if we're doing introductions, my name is hubris. Make a joke and I'll piss in your wounds. Jesus.

Good luck doing that when you had sighed up. I don't speak for yourself, you can't avoid me. I got good range. Oh no. Oh God, please let there be a pissing match. Yeah, no, literally. At which point you hear suddenly a voice go, Huh? Shut up in there.

Lay down all gutchy like a fish. And from the flaps of the outside of the tent you watch, as a burly chested, that kind of dark purpleish, blue muscle-bound orc kind of curls in, his lower jaw protruding with these two large tusks, one broken at the tip, and these piercing yellow eyes as he kind of comes in and sneers. You finally one. Slams the flap shut and then walks back out to take guard.

outside of the tent. Do we have anything on us, or are we stripped bare? You have your armor on you, but you have no weapons on. And our hands are bound? Your hands are currently bound by rope, yes. Are they connected to our feet, or can we get? They're not connected to your feet, they're separate. All right, and I'm gonna,

try and fight through. Do I'm gonna try to, like, the rope? I'm not gonna try to, either. I'm gonna try to like, you know, get the knots with my teeth. Make an acrobatics check to see if you can slip free of the bindings.

Tooth acrobatics. Tooth acrobatics check. That would be a 19? Okay, so as you guys watch, as she kind of gets her teeth and tugs, and as she does, she moves her hands around, eventually finally getting a little bit of slack, slips one hand out, pulls the other free,

and begins going for her ankle bindings, and she is now free. Sweet, do I have my imp with me at all? Did he hide, or is he with them as well as the bear? Well, you don't sense him immediately around you at the moment. Do you want to call out to him? Yeah, let's call out, see if he's around. Bring out the imp.

Huberous. Fetch the antel. So as you call out, what's his name? It's P.B.H. Pbh, okay. Listen. If you guys guess his name, then he disappears. But right now, yeah. So as you say, PBH, and you see a flash up in the back of the tent

on what looks like a pile of refuse. Kind of, yes, yes, mistress. The small red-skinned imp with these leathery wreaths. Maybe about a foot tall is just perched there, his eyes wide, he looks a little nervous. And he's shaking like a chihuahua. He's kind of like a lap dog from all he would have been in. He's a bit, shh.

God damn it. Like you little p.BH, come here and untie me. Hurry out. Mattie left. Lanz, he starts like gnawing at the ropes. I'll say go to make an acrobatics check with advantage. He's helping you. One more?

Five. Five and a five. Five and a five. It's gonna take you a while. So you're working on it. What are you doing? Okay, so taking off his bindings, you guys do. All right, so Mankham, what are you doing?

I'm going to use my powers of persuasion to convince these guys that I am worth releasing. Okay, which one do you talk to? I'm going to try to Trampersway Victoria, that I am so key and essential to this to, I am so key and essential to this team. You are. You're in serious.

just trouble if I don't get free. I'm physically not able to free myself, but if you let me free, believe me, you know what I can do, you know what I bring to the table. It's a lot of stuff. You don't want to be without me really. Please. I actually do know quite a few knows.

Yeah, but not like this one. No, no, they're all invaluable, all the ones I've met. Oh? Hmm. Well, well, you're gonna have to take a leap of faith here, I'm afraid. Please take a leap of faith. Go ahead and make a persuasion check.

Then add your persuasion skill bonus to you. Okay. What's that? It's a nine plus. Nine plus seven, so 16. 16. So he's pretty persuasive. He's got a gleam in his smile

and a twinkle in his eye and through your experience with gnomes, which have been everywhere from Shifty to somewhat trustworthy. Seems a more of the trustworthy, sir. All right. I send my brother to release DuPont, DuPont, who I've worked with before, don't worry. No, leave it.

Leave it. And I'd like to try to wriggle the people. Can't start working from your bindings. Fantastic. I rolled a one. Oh boy. My feet are somehow tied. So as Vex comes over to you and begins taking your bindings free

and eventually get your hands free and kind of rub your wrists to escape the moment. Vax, you start walking over to Dupont-de-Pont, who in the process is like, nope, I got this, I got this. And is getting himself somewhat more tied into the road. We're all rogues here. Now, no, keep going, you're doing great. I'm a master of ropes. You keep doing that.

I'm going to look for our... for our weapons. So there is, do we see any blades? Make an investigation check. Ooh. 25. 25. You begin to glance through and can I move about.

And you're feeling the ground around here. It's not grassy. It's not, it's not anything soft. It is a hard bit of dirt on stone. But as you pull through most of the things that you find in the tent around you are bits of scavenged jewelry, small boxes, things that were obviously taken from the caravan that was attacked. some of it taking damage in the process. No weaponry.

I'd start grabbing jewelry in. Just start pocketing it. I see that and I'm like, good idea. Am I on tie yet? Because I want to grab some jewelry too. You are about now, yeah. Anything as simple as a letter opener or a butter knife in there? Nothing like that. Alright, well I'll do it the hard way.

I'm gonna start helping him get his rope. Okay. Duncan, what are you? Is there anything that we can use as a disguise at all? Any, any kind of, anything we can need to kind of camouflage? to kind of camouflage, any shrubbery, any kind of greenery? No, no shrubbery at the moment, but in the piles of materials that have been put here, there are a lot of pieces of sack, cloth, and burlap and some scraps of clothing and things that were probably things to be sold when it got to its destination. So you do find

some nice, like silk shirts. Well, they're surely going to be useful, right? If we're going to try and kind of disguise ourselves, change our identity slightly. Possibly, yeah. Yeah. So you want to go ahead and grab some of the materials? Yeah, I'll do that. All right. Can I use this as well then?

You can, you actually have the disguise self-ability. Okay, well then, yeah, I'm just gonna into whatever that thing was that stuck his face into the tent. Okay, you watch as her exterior now shifts into that same kind of dark grayish-skinned orc creature that came in through the tent and yelled at you earlier. Sure, her muscles kind of expand visually. Her jaw kind of gets a little more monstrous.

Her teeth extend a bit and her eyes go a bit. piercing yellow, so she knows. Get your jewelry and let's go! Put the lotion in the basket. Put the loiter in the basket. So are we disguising ourselves to be different people and you're gonna walk us out of here? Oh, that's it. I'm glad you're smart.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Let's do that. All right? So we should be bound still. Well, hmm. Hmm. Yeah, I guess, but I don't wanna actually tie tie you guys up. Just wrap it.

Yeah, just loosely put the rope around our wrists that we can bust out of really quickly if we need to. I'm gonna sneak over to the tent flap and just crack it and see what I can see through a little sliver of that. Okay, make a perception check. Oh, hey, I'll use luck because I still have it. Hey, much better.

Better. Perception, you say, 20. All right, so you come up alongside Vax and you both peer outside of the tent. You both visually see standing maybe two feet out from the front, that same bulky, grudish fellow that's been guarding the exterior of this tent since you woke up here. You see a bonfire about eight feet beyond him when the flames are flickering and burning and the smoke's kind of billowing up and filling a seal. Greetings adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. I'll take it.

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As this point you notice, the darkness isn't from nightfall, but it appears to be that you're in some sort of a cavern network. Who knows how deep into whatever rock or mountain you found yourself. You do notice that there are a number of large tree trunks that have been shaven and set up to form almost like a spit and there is meat cooking on it. And it takes you a moment to realize that the meat resembles the shape of an odd arm and a leg. Humanoid. You also see about three other orkish figures

that are patrolling around and walking, grunting to each other in a language you don't understand. So this place seems to be somewhat defended and armed. You do see a tent across the other side of the fire that has another guard facing out who currently has a blade on his side and it's just kind of scratching himself and looking like he's bored and frustrated. And no weapons anywhere else in this space.

Not visibly out. There's just one on the war. There's the tent across the way. Shite. They've got to have our stuff. Here's a proposition. I roll out looking like I'm taking you guys with me to go to the cook for slaughter.

And then once I get you outside the tent, we run. So fast as humanly possible. But our weapons are somewhere. I'm also pretty stealthy. I'm also pretty stealthy, and I can cast past without a trace on one of us, which potentially could make

even more stealthy. It is rather dark in here. If we sneak out the back, we may not have to do that. Walks aren't always the brightest either, but I think they know vaguely how many of us there are in here. If the back of the tent, not where the flap is, but is there anything behind us? Does it sound like there's more cap behind us? You push in there as a little bit of give

to the backside of the tent, but it hits stone. It looks like this tent is propped against the back of the cavern wall. One else is in the tent that Brana apart from. You mentioned some jewelry, but I think. There's piles of jewelry. There's piles of scavenged boxes and clothing and pieces of like wagon wheels

and whatever seemed to have been pulled off of the caravan and thrown haphazardly in the corner to suss out later. Is there enough, and hear me out, is there enough that we could stuff jewelry or something inside the clothing and then put the ropes on these dummies and make them think we're still in here while we sneak out? It's impressive.

That's a lot of work. You want to make? Five sack boys. Yes, just some casual mannequins. Okay, who wants to helm this endeavor? I'm passing. I'm not just a hard. I'm also open to just snaking away.

What if we lure the guard inside and then jump him when he gets in? I mean, it's all of us against one. I can still do that with my disguise. Disguise and be like, come help me with perversions. Yeah, they're stupid, right? Yeah.

Are these guards rich men? They are ravaging barbarians. Whatever they're wearing on them, it seems to be piecemeal leather armor, metal weapons that have been scavenged or forged in some very crude way to be hooked and nasty looking. So they're not men who'd have their heads turned by the promise of some jewelry? Probably not.

They're rich with us meat. Yeah. Oh, I see. They want to eat you. Oh, okay. Well, I don't want that. So let's say it. Come on it.

I say we... I say we go for your idea. Yeah, I say we lure him inside. We grab one of the bags, the minute he's inside, throw a bag over his head and all of us just start... We got jewelry. Is there any, like, candlesticks or something we can beat him over the head with?

Yeah, there are any clay pots or anything holding other things in here? You say we got wagon wheels. Anybody strong enough to lift a wagon wheel and smash this guy in the face? We're all pretty fucking weak. DuPont looks evil. I'm... sturdy. But there's jewelry, right?

So we can slip rings on our fingers. That's when we flip more. Oh, yeah. Brass knuckles. Gold knuckles. I like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, let's do that.

Does it stand with a head, in the face? All right, yeah. All right, so I'll say, make an investigation check. Make an investigation check. You see how many rings you can scab in from the pile. Okay. Okay. It's eight.

12. 12. 12, okay. 21. 21. Okay, between the two of you guys, you managed to pull out Some are more just decorative, but some thick, heavy iron rings. Blacksmith, it seemed, between the two of you, you get some decent knuckle duster, makeshift weaponry for you. Fantastic.

Cool. All right, let me know when you guys want to do this. So I'm going to wait, and am I bludgeoning him? Am I taking this sack and trying to strangle him? What am I doing? I am an assassin by trade, so if you pull a sack over his head and I take a wagon wheel, I will clobber the shit out of him. Oh, perfect. Classic assassination technique.

All right. Happen's a hit man all the time. Good girl. Everyone ready. Okay, yeah. So that's all, but we have to like look like we're still, you know, round. If you have any spells that would be useful for this,

feel free to look at them now, get an idea of what you can do. Oh, oh, oh, good God, wait. Preparation method is you kind of glance up what you have at your disposal. What if, these hands? What if I cast spells? fight growth inside the tent and then when he walks in he'll be hurt instantly because

well that'll learn him too soon for you guys to do your stuff possibly but it was a cool spell I like where your heads at but think of how sick that would look yeah yeah good point you and I flanked the door you got the sack I got the wheel as soon as he walks in one to three four five all right yeah I got um it will lay on the ground maybe and still look like we're bound so it looks like you know still Yeah, I like it. Or maybe stinking cloud, as soon as it comes in, Stinking Cloud, disorientated.

It's a big area too. Will that? Will that hurt us as well, though? Will we get caught in the stick? Oh, we're prepared for it though, so we can maybe like cover our eyes and mount up. Maybe, yeah. But the Stinging Cloud is also a big area.

So if you wanted to use that, you could hit the guy outside and all the other orcs in the music. Like the minute we jump in, then you like do it outside. So, something to consider. Oh yeah, perfect. Okay, I think that's your power is a gigantic fart. Yeah, basically is, yeah. Don't underestimate the power of this, I get.

Clear the caverns. All right, so. All right, are we ready to do this. Oh God, okay, we're gonna lie down the ground. I'm gonna lie down the ground. Okay, so you guys are both feigning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fain and straw.

All right. Like, I don't want him to get too much of an idea, so I just quickly lift up the tent flap and like just the face and I'm like, hey, come here and help me with you. These prisoners are pain in my ass. Nice. As you glance out on him, he whips around and pulls a shorts where it from his eye goes,

roll a deception check. Oh God, please don't well. Which one? Don't worry, we've got an emergency fart. No amiss, no amics, no amice. Natural turning. Everyone needs an emergency part. Oh, got.

Oh, yeah! All right. So, fantastic. As the flap closes, the or kind of, Dumb little folk, comes into the side of the tent. Which one? I make with the sack.

Sack them, boys! Make an attack roll. Oh, just add you dexterity modifier to it. 11. 11. That's pretty good. As soon as you leap with the sack, his kind of battle sight kicks in,

he pulls him and grabs your wrist and throws you to the ground. The sack completely misses. Oh no. You're going to strike him? Yeah. All right. So as you're going to swing with him with the improvised weapon, Go ahead and roll for an attack with it using your dexterity modifier. There's no bonus beyond that because you're not proficient with improvised weapon.

Okay. Ooh, that's not good, but that's all right. That's good, that's good. No bonus at all, so it's a 15. It's a 15. That does hit. So go ahead and roll 1D4 and yeah, you just take 1d4 damage. Is it a sneak attack though?

Does sneak attack go through a wheel? It is sneak attack, yeah. All right, great. So that's three damage. That one expects a wheel. Can I? And if I'm hidden, am I hidden? If I'm hidden, it's an automatic crit.

He's well aware now that you're ready. Quang, five, nine, total of a 14. A 14, all right, so as he sidesteps DuPont and throws him to the ground, the dwarf hits the dirt. Suddenly Vax turns around and whaps him like baseball style to the chin and just kicks him in the stomach and you go falling back against the wall. The two of you now.

We jump up and attack his legs. Yeah, now we jump up in. All right, so you leap up. I punched him in his nuts. Because she goes from the nuts, where are you going for? I'm going to use my acrobatics. OK. Climb up his body, get on his back, go for the neck.

Tight hard. Go roll an acabatics check. Go for the neck on the throat. Scrappy. OK, 8 plus three, and seven. Seven. So you climb part way up, and you can't quite get to the neck, but there's still like some decent midsection there

to punch for if you want to. Hit him in the kidneys. So both you guys go roll in a tackle. So roll another D-20, and then add your strength modifier, which is a plus two. Oh, no, I add strength. Yep. Fudge.

Roll high. Oh, no, that's okay. Five. Five in total. Oh, so I do no good to nobody. I'm such a dead weight. Wait, which do I see you rolling? Because that one needs to not happen anymore.

So as you punch a few times in the stomach, this orc must be doing some P90X. Pretty tough abs on there. You're not quick getting through. Laura, you go ahead and you have her, do get a punch off there. So you hit, Did you strengthen him out of fire?

Yes. Would you strengthen on fire? Oh. Negative two. Okay, so you do one point of damage. You guys are, b, b, b, b, b, b, b, but it's in his nuts, man. It is in his nuts.

That is true. I mean, even when he lightly graze on my field. They're super callous, though. That's okay. That one hit point of damage was all that he really needed. He's really been working out. So as you guys, as you pummel him in the stomach, it kind of loosens him up, as you get down and whack,

hit him right in the ork nards. And you get, oh. Crumbles for the ground and hubris. The other teethling tall just kind of runs up and kicks on the side of the head. I helped. Oh, the double tag. I forgot hubris was in here.

Also, I'm giggling my ass off right now. And so is your rib. At this point, is he down now? He's unconscious in the ground. Okay, can I use my medicinal skills to try and help DuPont, who still? Yeah, yeah. What kind of state is he in from that attack?

He's a bit bruise in the phase. Flush with embarrassment. Oh, right, you turn him over and he looks very embarrassed, but not too hurt so far. Oh, I was worried that he was kind of more than right. Not yet, not yet. However, as you go and inspect him, near the edge of the tent, you can hear what sounds like

if you voices go, Hmm, come right. Oh, man. Beep, be the guy. Oh, good idea. And you hear footsteps coming your direction. Okay, I peek my head out again. Everything's fine.

Fuck off! Mankham, do you have that fart ready? Alright, get the three. Always ready. Make a deception with disadvantage. So roll twice and take the lower. Oh no. Oh no.

13. 8 plus 2 to 13. Disception. 4. As soon as your face shows up and you say that and shut it, you hear a voice go,

K-Roc! You hear blades being unsheated. Oh, no, no. No, no, no. Fah, fa, fa, fa, fa, stinking cloud. Yeah, stinking cloud.

Yeah, stinking cloud. 20-foot radio sphere of yellow nauseating gas. Yeah. Sounds like just what we need, right? Yeah. So as she pulls away, you kind of push the flap open and release your hands. The incantation leads your lips and suddenly,

as these two orcs that are lumbering towards you around the campfire, the entire space in the center between this tent and the opposite side fills with this green, noxious gas, this kind of hint of yellow. The interior of it kind of ignites from the flame in the middle of the bonfire and detonates briefly. Setting the two orcs rolling about five feet to each side, let me see if they make their strong.

saving throws. Oh, it's pure methane. That's awesome. Spell DC is 15. No, neither they make it. And the other guard on the other side doesn't make it either. So what happens here is after you hear this dull detonation, that echoes through the cavern.

So you get the sense that there is a bit of a tension coming your direction relatively soon. But at the moment, the three orcs that are immediately around the area are on the ground right now, clutching their stomachs, and they're just wretching. and then like, starts vomiting the side of the two other on the ground, like, oh, there's no immediate threat, and if you wanted to, you could rush around the exterior, the cloud to the other tent. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Let's do that. All right, so you're leading the charge. Everyone else running behind your new gnome friend, you rush around the exterior of the fire and head to the secondary tent there. What do you guys do? I want to keep an eye out for any, like where our weapons could be stored,

because they have to be somewhere, right? Make a quick investigation check. You don't hear anyone approaching yet, but you get the sense you have a short time before other members of the ravagers begins to arrive? 19. So as you guys start over there and keep an eye out,

you look into the tent across the way, immediately into it looks to be a stack of scavenged weaponry. Oh, amazing. Guys, in here. All right. All right, you guys rush in there. You take about 20 or 30 seconds, just rummaging through. It's not a huge pile.

It's like maybe 25 or so weapons that are scattered about. You find your bow, you find your quiver and your arrows. You find your daggers. You find your sword and crossbows, as well as your bolts. Everything that you guys, all the equipment that was taken from you, is available. but the time it takes you to gather them, you begin to hear what sounds like

a number of other orcs rushing up. Can I turn and cast spike growth on the ground in front of the tent? Yes, you can. All right, so the ground, just outside of the tent, you watch as some of the rocks suddenly begin to shut up into these stone spikes, these small spears that weren't there before.

And as you're all equipping yourselves, you hear, and you see as two orcs start kind of coming past the front of the tent. clutching the bottoms of their feet, which are now bleeding and wounded from stepping under these. I need everyone to roll initiative. Oh, God, that was so fast. You roll a D20, and then add your initiative.

Ah, 20. Yep. Add. Seven plus. Okay, nine. All right, Vax, would you get? 12. Vex?

14. 15. Ooh. DuPont, DuPont. Surprise, surprise, surprise. Surprise, surprise. Perfect. And hubris, who was kind of behind you guys at this point,

is out, dead last for the three. Okay, so, Dietrich, you see these two orcs kind of rush to the front, they're holding their feet, they turn around and see you, they already have their weapons drawn. You're the first to go, what are you gonna do? The, I'm gonna. The gas is right behind them, by the way. They just skirted by the radius of the gas,

and it's maybe directly behind them, you see kind of still billowing in the space. you're concentrating on it? I can I use Eldridge blast on them to knock them into the cloud again? Do you have the ability that pushes them back? You do. I do. Do I?

Pushes them back 10 feet. Sweet. Okay. So, so go ahead and roll and attack. You get two blasts at this level up. Two? Seven. Okay, seven plus, what is your eight? That hits.

So you watch, as she puts her hand out, and you watch these two glowing kind of bluish green blasts just fire out with these arcane bolts. One just manages to be dodged. by one of the orcs at the front. The second one hits him in the stomach and he was flying back, Phr!

Passed into the cloud where he immediately fails a saving throw and begins doubling over. So now he's currently caught up in the stinking cloud, the other one that was still standing there ready to go. And it's his go. So the one that dodged your blast, ducks out of the way. And then with a giant, jagged-looking great sword, makes a giant swing towards you.

I have a bee. That is a- Sacrifice yourself, P.B.H. That's a 19. 19 to hit, what's your armor class? Armor is 14. 14, that hits. And they're taking 2D4 piercing damage

for every 5 feet they travel in this bike road. Correct. That is 14 points of slashing damage. Okay. So mark that number of hit points. Oh shit. And a guy in the back, he takes two points of damage from rushing past the spikes there.

And then another orc rushes up behind him. And he has a long sword out, and he's gonna go ahead and strike at you as well because you're right at the front. Jesus, guys. That's a- Anybody want to help? What? Yes?

That's a 14, which just hits you. So you immediately take 10 points of slashing damage after that. Oh no. Oh no. All right. I'll always remember you. Anybody? Anybody?

Seriously? What the fuck? DuPont, you're up. Seeing my demon-wielding friend in danger, I'm going to get a running star and leap at the one with the great sword, leaping onto his chest, and I want to stab both of my daggers into his ears. Okay. So go ahead and roll for two attacks, your main attack, and your offhand.

All right. Okay, that is a, oh, 15. Oh, hey, I'm pretty here with that. Yes. And a natural one. Oh, okay. Roll damage for the first one. You do get sneak attack damage because he's currently adjacent to Dietrich.

Okay, so that is two, six, and sneak attack is. Three, six. Oh, there we go. Okay, so that's a four, five. 5, 14 plus 6.20. So yeah, as you leap onto him, the one dagger hand, you go to swing and he kind of lets loose the grasp of the great sword and grabs your other wrist in mid air.

As you're like, kuh, both are. But you grin in your other hand that's free. You just jam your blade right into his solar plexus and jam it up into his throat. It kind of gut him from the sternum up. He then gurgles and then takes one big swipe at the sword, but his strength is already leaving him, and it's a wide swing. falls under the ground.

The other guy with the long sword still standing there, though. That's the end of your turn. That brings us two vex. Ah, I'm gonna shoot the other guy. Go for it, roll for attack. We got one left or two left? You have, we have currently four right now that are currently vomiting in the cloud,

and one that's currently unaffected by it. All my rolls. 14. 14 hits. Oh, good, yay, okay. 208. Go down, I'm not gonna find it. One day, plus five.

is eight. Is that just it? Eight damage? Yep. Well, there you go. Eight. And then I have an extra attack. Whenever I use my action to attack, I can do it twice. You can. All right, I'm going to do it again. The war is over and both sides lost.

Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. but in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time, and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare

with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark, every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the glass canon with the podcast version

dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not so dark, not so stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably

nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the intrepid chaotic's detective agency as they take on their biggest case. Yet, this high-flying action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every quill they can fight. It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives. Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you.

Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents, the Chaotic. case files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. When the chaotic are on the case. Oh, shit. Yeah, that one hits. That's 14 plus 8. That hits. Roll damage at second time. Okay. That's a 10 for the damage. 10. The second arrow sinks into his chest, following the first one. And Nancy's long sword back is going to go for a gutting motion towards DuPont. DuPont. It's immediately in front of him. The second arrow sinks into the side.

and he just coughs a bit of blood on his chest before he crumbles onto the body of the one that already collapsed in front. Nice. All right, that brings us to Vax and Mencom. You guys see the two orcs immediately there collapse. The other four on the outside are still coughing and vomiting. What are you doing?

Like doubled over vomiting and stuff, right? Yeah. Well, while they're kind of disorientating and kind of discombobulip about all that, they're not really in control of their movements. They don't really know what's going on. I'm going to go a bit of crossbow. Okay.

A little bit of crossbow into the mix. All right, so don't, on the blind side. Perfect. Not getting murdered while you're father. All right, so you pull it your crossbow and you go ahead and aim for the guys in the ground. Go ahead and roll an attack against him. And there's extra attack on this as well.

That's true, because he's incastated. Yeah? Okay. Yep. Seven. And it better be a higher number than that. 16. That'll do. All right, so as you load the crossbow

with your first strike, the one that just got pushed out of the way by your Tiefling friend here on the ground. The crossbow bolt sinks into part of its torso. Go ahead and roll damage on that. It's 1D6 plus 2. Nice. Eight points of damage.

So the one sinks deeply into the side of its leg and then thigh, and it probably hits some sort of dangerous artery. You can reload and take another shot if you'd like. Okay, let's do it, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so you go ahead and you quickly load another bolt in, to pull it back with your hand crossbow, fire a second time. Go ahead and roll. Eight.

And roll one more time. Six, though. So that was 14 was the final number. Okay, well, that still hits that. One more time just to see, just in case you get a... Two. Okay, yeah, so we'll go to the first one. First one. So go ahead and roll damage again, roll six side of dice and then add two to it.

Three, five. Five, that'll do it. So the second shot, this time, sinks into what looks to be the kind of lower torso area, and as it pierces in, a bunch of blood just begins to pull up the side. And the orc that was once coughing and violently and kind of vomiting to the side just starts convulsing and then goes still within the close. Oh, God. So he's dead. So what do you guys do?

I'm up. Look for the nearest puker. I'm going to pull out flametonged dagger by the palm. Flip it into the blade in my hand, steady my hand on my sister's shoulder, and then flip it at the first guy I see vomiting. Go for it. Okay. That is 24. Yeah, that'll hit. Okay, so that is four for six is ten. And the sneak attack damage is, ooh, is 26. That first dagger just goes straight into the front of his. its face, in between the eyes, and you watch it they kind of cross in the middle of it, coughing. And the air just escapes from its lungs, no longer moving. It makes it look so easy.

It's okay, DuPont, DuPont. It's real easy, guys. You're still hurt. I'm really sorry about that. Dietrich, can you heal me? All right, so you still have, you have two orcs that are incapacitated in the cloud. You can hear echoing distant sounds of other orcs coming. What are you doing right now?

I'm gonna let them take care of the extra orcs because they did such a good job of the vomiting ones and I'm gonna go cast cure wounds on you. Okay, so you guys are staying point and you're waiting for the orcs to come to you. Oh, shit, are we? I think we should, uh. Are they right on top of us?

No, no, you just hear them in the distance. Oh, we should run then, but I'm still gonna cure you. Oh, that's sweet. Smake could our escape. You've got hit point, you'll last. I got fine. I forgot I need to keep track of how many spells I'm doing. I'll take care of pretty boy Henry.

Yeah, pretty boy, Henry. Don't say his name out loud. I will solve this riddle. Don't say his name out loud or he'll disappear. Okay. All right. So, who's leading the charge out of the tent? I will.

And just to punt-upont struts outside of the tent just on the outskirts of the green cloud that only probably has that lasts for a minute, I believe. That's four hit points. Yeah. I'll take it. So you have about at this point,

30 or so seconds before the cloud and they get back up. So you make haste to follow DuPont and begin charging down. You watch this, this chamber you're in. It's kind of like a kidney bean shape and has one egress that goes into a larger tunnel, kind of cavern system. As you head to the right and left, to the left,

you can see what looks to be just a dark interior that goes into a series of other tunnels with bits of flickering bonfire light further in. To the right, you can see what looks to be five or six tents clustered on one side, and the other side looks to be a giant iron cage and a glimmer of daylight. So what are you guys doing?

Oh, don't get on. I think we should investigate these tents. There might be coin inside, and we can spin that once we get to the daylight. There could be other prisoners inside, though. Yes, other prisoners. That's what I meant to say. You want to, you and I creep in?

Yes. Let's commence with the creep in. All right, so both of you guys are creeping forward? What are the rest are you doing? Are you following them or staying behind? Do you want to stay outside the tents? I'm going to hang ever so slightly bad. Yeah. Just in case they do get rushed.

Yeah, I'll stand next to you in the shadows. Okay, perfect. Yeah. Okay, so then I'm gonna have all of you guys roll stealth checks, just to make sure you can stay out of sight. A classic Overwatch position. I love it. Ooh! That's a natural 20. There you go.

The curse is broken. 16. 16 plus zero. So 16 stealth? 21. 21. Nice. Nice. 11? 11. Okay. 30.

Oh. So all of you get really alone into the shadows, following the outer crevices of the cavern, and begin slowly moving forward as you hear in the distance, Kruat Kedler! And you watch as seven orcs go rushing by with weapons drawn, some with what looks like a nasty looking gnarled longbow, others wielding large great swords again,

and they all seven rush past and go ahead into the area where you were where the cloud is now dissipating. However, one of them kind of stops and glances over his shoulder and looks right towards you, Vexalia, apparently catching his eye. You shoot right back immediately. Go for it. Yeah, his throat. Okay.

Okay. Oh, good, that hit. Well, hopefully, 26. 26 hits, yeah. Okay. Anyone else jumping into this, this immediate, oh, God, moment. I'm gonna use lightning arrow on him. Okay.

As soon as I see her go, I just aim for the same head. Okay. With flame time. Push, hubris out of the shadows. Oh. That's my, I'll use my second luck of the time. Two, Bruce. Is right XT, goes like,

Okay. What did you say? I was talking about someone else. What, the concept, not you. I get that a lot. 11 plus 9 is 20 damage. 20 points light damage. As soon as he turns around and goes,

and goes to swing his large great sort arc towards you, you guys watches Vixali. It pulls an arrow back and releases it. The arrow shaft suddenly bursts with a bolt of electricity, like a tiny lighting bolt. Slams into his chest. It falls to the ground convulsed and goes silent with it. sizzle in a small stream of smoke from his chest.

However, the shaking convulsing sound did give out kind of a loud yell, and you see two of the orcs that were rushing away, turn around and like, Shit, I thought it to be stealthy, I'm sorry. Huberus who's like holding on DuPontrault and was like, I think they saw us. What do we do? What do we do, guys?

Are they within our eye shot, the other orcs? Yeah, they ran past you, and then three of them stopped and turned towards you. You guys are between them and the light on the opposite side. Can they see all of us now? Or they just see that they're... Do they just see me?

They've only seen you because you've only revealed yourself. I'd like to shoot my crossbow at one of them. At one of them? Go for it. Because I'm very stealth right now. I'd like to insight check hubris. Okay. Because I got a bad fain on... Roll inside check. There's things that are attacking us right now.

I'm doing it. Uh, 16. 16. I mean, he seems like a pretty shady fare-up, but at the moment he seems more interested in self-preservation, so you're not terribly worried about him at the moment. Name one bad thing that hubris has ever caused. cast.

What did you want to make? So Vexali is the only one of us that can really be seen at the moment. Yeah. Okay, well, can I, can I give her invisibility? You can, yeah. Can I touch her and give her invisibility? Yeah. You will turn, you will come out of stealth, but if you cast it at a higher level,

you can turn both you and her invisibility? Oh, that's perfect. Yeah, can I do that? Okay, so you use your last third level spell for the day, and suddenly you and Vexali both vanish from sight, and the three orcs that turn go, hmm, And you can, like stalking through the cavern, lifting over rocks and throwing over pieces of matted fur

looking for wherever you went. Meanwhile, we're gonna be invisibly going around making noises, confusing these guys, giving them noises to follow, away from the light. So while they're moving away from the light to try and find those that are invisible, these guys can go toward the light, we can then follow them out.

That's great, okay. It's brilliant. Amazing. So the two of you begin to make your way kind of along the sides of the orcs they begin rushing inward to search for them, picking up small stones and throwing them deeper into the cavern. Here, as they clatter, and all of a sudden,

the three perk up, hmm, yeah, Khrostak, shit there is. And two of him start rushing off in that direction while he kind of starts stalking forward a bit. So he's alone, and you guys begin to move just past him. I'm going to need all of you to make one more stealth check to see if you can go by on notice by this fellow. Oh, my gosh, okay, guys. The guys who are invisible, have advantage, however.

Oh, we have advantage? The guys who are invisible have advantage. Thank God we can roll again, because that would have been so bad. Yes. Super glad we're all invisible. All of us. Okay. You're still invisible, so he doesn't see you, but he's

. Okay. All right, so what did you get? I got a six. Using my second of three lux, I got a natural 20. Okay. 14. All right, the point.

With my modifier, I got a 12. Okay, so while you've managed to take two of them out of the equation, one of them that's still wandering forward, seems to start picking up the hint of footballs. And as you guys all begin to run towards the entrance, he gives chase. He hasn't caught up to you. And you guys are just running out at this point.

But at this point, to go full sprint to try and outrun him, you're going to have to drop stealth. You guys would remain invisible. Can I stop running and then slink up against a tent and let him pass me and then stick him from behind? You may. So you kind of dart off to the side behind one of the tents, at which point you also hear the clinging of metal,

chains being dragged, but sourceless. You're not quite sure where it's coming. All right, so you're waiting there. The orc runs past. The rest of you guys, what are you doing? Can I break stealth to give him advantage on that and, like, sort of distract? I'm already pretty... Oh, yeah. If you want to, yeah. You kind of, you weren't stealth to begin with. You thought you were? So you go from unstelfed to being super unstelfth. And kind of waving your hands, hey, hey! The guy there suddenly turns and yells out, Chieftain, release! I regret this immediately.

Oh, no, we called out for cheat. I know. Shit, we got to run. At this point, the chain locks. You watch the iron cage that was on the right side of the cavern, has now the front of it slams down the cage, which was about 15 feet tall. You now see I'm running out, furious and angry, a creature emitting a roar that is familiar.

You heard it before you were knocked unconscious in the first raid. You see shackles on its arms, the chain's broken, a 15-foot tall, muscular behemoth of a man. His muscles rippling, strewn with the sword. scars and looks like torture elements to its body. Leathers are strapped across its midsection. Its hair is tattered and long and slick with sweat and oil. And you see in the center of its face above its nose,

a singular eye as it reaches down and grabs this large, thick, looks like a log or some sort of a sitting implement that was near one of the fires and wielded as a club. The orc that you distracted backs up and goes, We're out of dust. And just darts back with the other orcs. And now it's you guys standing in the middle of the section with a large cyclops there right before you.

Everyone roll initiative once more. Oh, God. Wait, is the door to the cavern closed now, or is it still open? You still see the light ahead of you, but now the cyclops is stepping in the west. Oh, good. Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, jeez. All right, so, uh-huh. All right, so for order on combat here, what did you get for initiative? I got a seven. A seven, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Mancom, what'd you get? Oh, 17. 17, nice. Okay, so that brings us to Vax. 24. 24, and I'm hoping I'm still natural 20 stealth at this point. You're hoping.

I'm hoping. All righty. 17 as well. 17 as well, all righty. So we have Vex and Mancom on the same turn. I got in 11. In 11? All right, and hubris is the last.

All right, so this large hulking cyclops. that's now kind of stepping in between the path to exit of this cavern and where you're standing. You see like with its large bellowing scream, bits of flesh and bile are kind of flung from its teeth and kind of spat around the ground in front of it. Vax here up first. Okay, so I was just about to throw my dagger at that orc,

and I heard that and said, oh, fuck me running. And I throw it at the Cyclops instead. Go for it. That is a 23. 23 hits. Okay. All right, so... The Xemann come, you guys are up next.

At the same time, actually. Nice and more invisible. You are invisible. 13 total. 13 points of damage with the first strikes. The dagger sticks into part of its torso, and goes to knock the sword out of its chest, but it blinks back to your belt.

I will use bonus action to fucking hide. Okay. So you dart around the backside of the tent to try and obscure your vision from it. Go ahead and roll stealth again. All right. That's a 24. 24, okay.

So as far as you know, it doesn't see you. All right, that brings us to Vexalia and Mancom. What are you guys doing? Yeah, we've got a great idea. We're going to get a length of rope that we kept on our, did we kept about our persons. We're going to take an end each. And run it.

Because we're still invisible. We're going to run at the shins and chirk them. That's pretty awesome. OK, so both of you guys pulling the rope, which it's interesting. As you clutch the rope and pull it out, as it's being wielded by you, it's currently invisible. As you guys charged forward, you watch as the center of rope

seems to appear out of nowhere, just a small, like, foot or two suspended in rushing forward. Cyclops does not see it. I need both of you guys to make athletics chess. Oh, God, oh, God, okay. Do this. Thank God, he has no depth perception. However, you have advantage because you are invisible

and you didn't see you there. Okay, um, 18? 18. Oh no, I'm sorry, man. Oh no, I got it too. With advantage. All right, so here's the deal. You guys go, go rushing.

by and the rope wraps around. You managed to get like a nice dirty pool, and as you tug, the cyclops kicks on one side, just stepping forward instinctively to go towards whatever, stabbed him with the dagger, and you get flung. From the edge of the rope, f f f f f f f f f f, tumbling backward. You're still invisible, but you skitter across the ground. You take three points of bludgeoning damage from the tumbling and impact.

That was a fun idea. The rope is still kind of wrapped around one of its legs and a dangling, but it's not... bowl lower, is that what it's called? Yeah, but it didn't go around both legs because it kicked one off. However, you still have your disposal of anything else you want to do on your turn. You have a bonus action still if you wanted to like either

inspire somebody or... Can I inspire? Depart? Yeah. How do you want to inspire him? I want to inspire him to... What kind of conditions are in at the moment? Currently, he looks his ego's bruised, but he looks physically all right. Yeah, what are you doing?

Just try. What am I doing? Yeah, come over at hell. I'm trying. Come over at hell. Slow to start sometimes. All right, his voice is commanding for a small gnome, and you feel yourself invigorated with,

this guy's a plan. I'll follow suit. So give yourself a D8 inspiration dye that you can spend to add to like an attack roll or a saving throw or things like that. All right, cool. So that's the end of your turn. So you mark off one of your inspirations there.

Okay. All right, that brings us next to the Cyclops's turn. The Cyclops. Wait, I'm gonna use my bonus. Oh, yeah. If I cast anything, do I lose invisibility? You do. But never mind, I'm going to just hang out on the ground.

By all, you. Take a quick nap. Yeah, nursing my bruised ego. OK. The cyclops is going to rush forward. Now, you get dragged a bit behind it. The rope is pulling you forward, but you're still holding on tight as you come rushing towards it.

It's going to make one great club attack against you as you're rushing in its direction. And a second at Hubris, who's like behind you going, I don't know what I was about. Oh, God! The attack towards you is, that's going to be 24. That's a hit. Okay, it's like being hit with a tree

going at 50 miles an hour. That is 24 points of bludgeoning damage. But don't worry, I'm gonna uncannily dodge. Okay, so you take half that damage. Oh, that's uncannical. So you manage to try and whip out of the way in time, it still hits you in the shoulder, and you spin and land on your knees and get back up.

It hurt, but could have been a lot worse. We'll see how hubris is, oh, he gets hit as well. Oh no. Okay, that's 21 points of bludgeoning. Huberus is still up, but. Not looking too hot right now. All right, so the two club of smacks, whack, whack, and you can hear now cheers in the back,

and you kind of glance over and you can see much of the orcs towards the back of the cavern are now just watching. Like it's a gladiatorial event, like, and they're just, they're excited to watch you guys get smashed by one of their captive entities. All right, that brings us to DePont. It's your turn.

About time, all right. Let's see how you try this one on for size. And I'm going to try and make a called shot with my crossbow to his eye. Okay. Go ahead and roll for an attack. It's with disadvantage. All my attacks are with disadvantage.

That's my secret. Well, 10. However, you can add your D-8. With inspiration. What did that gnome say to me? Yes, don't start, just don't stand there, do something. All right, so you're adding this to it. Eight. That is an 18.

Is an 18, 18, 18 will actually hit? Yes! Oh, I love that tiny man. So as you hear the words echoing through your mind, you take your crossbow up and release a shot as the cyclops, after slamming down, hubris to the ground, gives a big roar. Lid!

And this other hand, lifts up and grabs it on its face. And is he trying to open the eye, but the lid squint shut and a bit of blood begins to pull out the side. It's currently blinded for the next round. Yeah. Go ahead and roll damage for the crossbow. Seven. All right, seven points of damage to it.

Dietrich, you're up. Okay, I'm gonna cast hunger. Okay, so the hunger of Hadar. Yes, and I'm going to have my hentai tentacles hold him down and rip out his eyeball. Please. What? Making more orifices.

Okay, so, so you're somewhat wounded, limping, you reach up and you watch as he extends her hand and again speaking in an infernal language. Suddenly, this dark portal opens up behind the sidewalk. where you can see what looks like space, stars, and wisps of galaxies, and then suddenly all these black tentacles kind of reach out and begin to strike across and scrape the body of the cyclops.

You hear horrible slurping noises and whispers in the air. Like it's kind of filling the space. It's really disturbing. Okay, cool. So this area is open, and it's currently standing there enveloped in this dark space. So on its next turn, it'll be affected by it. But you've started this effect there now.

Okay. Oh, God, that's, yeah. Oh, man, he's gonna have a rough turn. And is blinded, blinded and absorbed by terrible things. Sweet. All right, cool, that ends your turn. That brings us to Hubris. Hubris is going to go ahead and stand up

and seeing this strange mixture of attacks go, grab one of the short swords from one of the orcs that was killed earlier when you guys first at the cavern, and charge forward and try and stab it in the abdomen. Because that's gonna do it. And rolls and rolls and 11 and just can't, ah, aptly named, I suppose. All righty, ending his turn, we're back at the top of the round.

Vaxal Dan, you're up. Oh, Popop. I'll just throw it again. Okay. Right where I am, I'm not gonna put myself in danger. You have an advantage in the attack hole because he's blinded. Yeah, that is a 17. 17 does hit, go out of all damage.

All right. And he takes, I'll put this is 10, 13, 13, 13, 1719 total. 19 points of damage, nice. And I will pop right the hell back to where I was and hide. All right, start back and then make yourself check. 25 of. You get the sense that with this bleeding eye,

you can't see right now. You feel pretty well hit. Good. All right, so we have Mancom and Vexali. What do you guys want to do? What do you think? I just failed miserably at the last thing we did, so. This crowd, there's a watching crowd, right?

Is there anything I can do with them? Is there any kind of persuasive elements I could do with them? Possibly, I mean, if you, they're all rowdy and like ready to see a fight. They're like they're ready to turn to like a barroom brawl at any minute. So yeah, if you have any spells that you think might might push in that direction or any abilities to try and mess of them, what do you want to try? Well, if I can plant mind control at all, I can persuade them to get us out of there, right? Well, with Whisper, you can tell one of them to do something and it'll go and take that action.

So one of them you could affect with the suggestion spell. Can I do that? Yeah, what do you want to try and convince him to do? Try convincing to see our side of the story, please. Okay, okay. So as you look back at the croup, you find one of the burliest orcs there that's like, and you give him a suggestion.

So what do you suggest to him? Think on yourself. Look at this guy, the cyclops. He's not in a good state. Who are the good guys here? Who looked like the good guys? It's not him, is it? It's not even the rest of these guys.

It's us, in it? Think, think, think, look deep into yourself. Look deep into these eyes. Look deep into these piercing blue eyes and tell me that I don't look like a good guy. Its face lingers on you for a second. Wait, this is a nice gnome. Yeah.

Don't fight the gnome. And another or goes like, shut up for us. No, no, no, listen to him. No, no. We need to talk about this diplomatically. You guys, diplomat, shut up, and sox him in the face.

Perfect. Oh, you son up! He grabs him by the shoulders and head butts him. And now you watch as these two orcs start fighting and they start gathering around their own circle on the corner going, and they start pulling out blades and trying to shiv each other. And now you've created this.

Yeah, getting into... Look, there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one happy, sad, confused. I'm Josh Horowitz, and yeah, I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly, happy, sad, confused is the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers. from Andrew Garfield and Scarlett Johansson to Christopher Nolan,

casting what-ifs, backstage stories, and much more. Listen to HappySag Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, please, not that music. That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter, some lighter music here? Are you a fan of True Crime TV shows? And what about Unsolved Mysteries, the show that jumped started all of our love of true crime? I'm Ellen Marsh And I'm Joey Taranto

And we host I Think Not A True Crime comedy podcast covering some of the wildest stories from your favorite true crime campy TV shows All the way to Unsolved Mysteries Baby, you will laugh, you will cry You'll think about true crime

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You can listen to our True Crime run down where we go over the top true crime headlines of the week so come and join us wherever you listen to your podcast do the job for yeah you've created a small bar like a serious kind of one-on-one kind of arena match there and their crowd these guys are so highly strong they've been seconds away from this they just need a little irritant and they're gonna be at each other so you're awesome so while you're finishing that Vexali what are you doing I am going to stand up and shoot the Cyclops as well aiming for his jugular.

Okay. With my, yes. With advantage because he's blinded currently. Gosh, darn it, I don't like that dice anymore. What did you roll on that one? It was two, but this one is much better. Okay. So this is my sharpshooter arrow with a jugular.

So that's a 20 to hit. That hits. Okay, good. So you add you plus 10 to damage in this one. Plus 15 to damage, that's 20 with a sharpshooter. 20 points of damage, nice. Damn. So this time, as he's kind of reeling back,

you see the darkness kind of curling over the shoulders, going, the head pulls up, and you see a perfect shot. You release the arrow and it sinks in, it's a, and it's coughing and gurgling this kind of thick, bloody, kind of blackish, brackish blood from its throat. Still standing and still furious. I'm gonna just hit him again, because that's what I can do.

It'll do it. So go ahead and roll damage on that. Double my dice. Yep. 12 plus 5 is 17. 17 points of damage. As soon as he like, begins gurgling, he picks up his giant club-like log,

and he begins to swing it over his head. You shoot him in the belly and it leans forward again. It's looking visibly hurt, but it's also looking like it's going into a full furious frenzy. I'm going to use the rest of my movement to try to move towards the learning. Okay, so you're moving around the outside of this. radius. Okay, good to know. Ending that, it's its turn. It swings out hearing you

rush by. It's gonna take a swing for you of Exaalia with its club. That's with a disadvantage. That is still a 19. Oh no, it hits me. It hits you. Okay, so that is 26 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, that does a lot of damage. And whack, it hits you from one side and then it spins around for another strike once it feels contact. That's the only that knows it's in the area because it can see it's gonna go for you again. Oh no. What did you do?

I don't, I'm gonna die, you guys. A 19 again. Oh. Oh, I'm gonna put about myself with my critical hand. 25 points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, she's down. So you watch as she rushes past after getting a nice big hit,

and kind of looks over you and gives it like, come on, and soon she turns around to spin, wak, gets hit by the club one side, knocking her up in the air about five or six feet. And before she can land, swings back again, whome. Her body crumples in mid air and skids across the ground towards the light,

coming to the stop, not moving. We have to say the space-time continuum will collapse in on itself. DuPont just your turn. So I have a healing potion. Would that get her up to snuff? It would, but it'll take your whole turn to just get it to her and feed it to her.

I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna give her a healing potion. Oops, how sweet. So sweet. So sweet. It hears you moving past. It hears you moving past. and you, it kind of takes a big swing

in the direction of where you are as this attack of opportunity. With disadvantage, that is a 15. What's your armor class? 16, 15. As you're rushing forward with a potion in hand, you hear the of the wind wishing, and you duck down as it passes just over you by inches.

That was close. You go over and grab her unconscious body, uncork the potion, apply it to her, and you watch as her eyes flicker open back to consciousness. Go roll 2D4 plus 2 to heal up on that one. 2D4 plus what? Two. Okay.

You're up. Ah, well, so what's happening with the hunger of Hidar? Is he still dealing with that or is that? Actually, yeah, sorry. I'm thinking right at the top of his turn, he takes 10 points of cold damage as to like wrapping around him and scathing his body and at the end of his turn because he doesn't move.

Lord knows where that one. He takes another nine points of acid damage. So you watch as this void is trying to pull the Cyclops in and as it's doing its bodies being torn and burn and it's, it's looking really, really badly hurt currently. So what are you doing in your turn? Can I hit him with a hex and then follow it up by it with an agonizing blast?

If you hit him with it with a hex, you're gonna lose the void spell. So you have to concentrate to keep it there. But you can do Eldish Blast without dropping it. All right, well then let's do that. All right, go to a roll up to attack him twice. You have advantage because he's, well, he's no longer blinded actually.

So you just. Oh, 20. Oh! Oh! All right, so roll a D10. That's times two on that. One. So it's two plus four.

It's six points of damage. And then roll another attack. Is it with your second blast against it? 10. 10 plus 8? That hits. So roll damage on that one more time for the second blast. Come on. Come on, be 10.

Yeah! Oh, that's 10. So you're good, you're good. That's 14 points of damage. As you blast it, you watch as the first hit, hits one arm and part of the muscle gets torn open. It drops the club and it spins around. It tries to backhand whatever direction you are.

You are you step out of the way and with a secondary blast from your hand it smacks it right in the spot where your Arrowhead hit The throat tears open against the poor blood and you watch it reaches up and Grasps it at which point the tentacles grab its body and they're gonna pull it into the void body gets slowly crushed in like a small singularity Disappears in the darkness the portal However the orcs are still fighting behind you and starting to get rowdy. What are you guys doing? Well, I feel like I did my job, folks.

And the gate's down, that big gate. It was a cage that was holding the Cyclops. The entrance is still open. Oh, well, they're distracted, right? Yeah. Because they're now fighting with themselves. Yes. Run.

And I'm just shouting, Trinket! Trinket! As you're running towards the door, you guys see that with the chain around its neck, Trinket, your bear is currently now over to the side with its chain jammed to the ground with a giant metal pike. I just take off right. Instead of going to the entrance, I run over to Trinket

try to get about. Okay, you go over and make a strength check to try and pull the pike out of the ground. Oh, God, I'm so weak! No, no, no! With advantage or not? No. Just a plain old, just a plain old fore then. What if I run over and start pulling on her waist?

So you roll as well. All right. You guys are rushing towards the entrance. She goes over to try and save her bear. Oh, I got one last luck. Use it. Oh, no, we suck. It's a... We'll run over and pull on his face.

So now we have a waste chain, roll a strength check. Humans. Centipede. 11. The three of the are now pulling on this spike jam on the ground. Now this bear's, the bear's like, ooh, whew. There's something you want to try and do to help out

with the escape of the bear. Okay, yeah. Okay. While everybody's pulling away at this chain and this nail, the bear's getting aggravated. The bear's thrashing around. The bear is distracting the fighting orcs over to where we're sitting. over to where we're seeing, over to where we are, right?

Make lots of noids, growling. Oh, we don't want them to see us freeing this bear, right? So I'm gonna use my amazing animal handling skill. Oh, dang. To go in front of this bear, to talk to the bear, to make eye contact with this bear, calm it down. You know what I mean? Don't, just don't, don't make any of this noise.

Don't make any of this, we're gonna get you free. We'll get you free, just stay calm. They can't hear you making all this racket, all right? All right, go and make animal handling check. I'm gonna use animal handling check. 13 in total. 13, okay. So as Trinkin at this point,

he's kind of focused on the dinner round and kind of looking about for you go, as you're calm, the pattern, and then begins to pull against the chain with you and kind of you kind of grab onto the side of the neck and the two of you begin tugging and tugging as the rest of them are pulling at the back of the. All right, can I do, as I'm running towards the exit,

can I hit the nail that's got chain on it with a blast? Sure, go ahead and roll. attack for that? Okay. On the deck certificate. There you go. Just to help, because I do technically still feel, you know, like a good person and got you 20.

A natural 20. So with that, as you release, as you guys are pulling so hard and the bear's like, mm-hmm. She releases a single blast ball that slams into the metal pull it's jamming to the ground. It bursts off. You hear the metal bend.

We did it. The three of you immediately fall on your backs in a small, like, heating pile of breath. Also, we're even now. for the heel later. Definitely, definitely. Tringot comes up and Go team.

Licks your face. You look at them to see this giant grizzly bear that just comes up, looks like about to eat her face off and just licks the side of the cheek. The orcs are now start. Trinket, Trink, give one. The bear comes up and kind of knuckles inside of your face and you almost get knocked off your feet from just the force of this powerful creature.

The orcs behind you now start kind of Rydark, Courtney! Time to go. What did you want? You guys bolt back towards the entrance. The light was almost blinding as you come and and you jut out into this waist-high grass field and see a blue sky above you.

It's a new day, you have your things on you, while the caravan may be a loss, your lives, and whatever future you hope to build from this point forward as you live another day, free living people. Congratulations, well done. Yay! I'll be honest, I did not believe in us. And we've got all these rings.

You do. You guys, you guys, blinged out. Oh, yeah. You got them. You guys ran off with those. And all these, like, jewelry I shoved in my pockets, too. So, made out not too bad, other than, like, you know, many people that probably died in the caravan, you guys, you're not okay. Look, there'll be other caravans. People are a renewable resource.

Awesome. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much for playing. Oh, no, thank you. Have a lovely time. It was so much fun. Genuinely really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for having me.

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