Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Geodepolitics (w/ Becca Scott) | Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode | Episode 16
Episode Date: February 10, 2025As the old saying goes, never meet your heroes, but always meet your villains! Between the return of the evil overlord Unzug and Tippy winning the Goblin Games, the Terror Squad has a lot to celebrate.... But when they meet a mysterious dwarf played by special guest Becca Scott (Good Time Society, Dimension 20), things get more complicated than anyone could have bargained for. Find out what’s really happening in Fitfettle Delve on a thrilling new episode of Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Amy Vorpal, and with me as always are your minions of mayhem,
your favorite terror squad.
Hi, I'm Dan Casey, and I play Phibs,
a skeleton wizard who's a big old fan of Unzug.
I'm Danielle Radford.
I play Busy, a skeleton bard slash rogue,
multi-class for the win, who is the biggest fan of Unzuk,
like maybe too big.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Way too big.
Hey, I'm Jason Winn.
I play Tippy, a goblin artificer, who is now
the Goblin Games champion, so you know.
That's what's up.
Hey.
Ooh, okay, some big superlatives in those intros.
So with all of that said, it is now time to part the veil of reality.
And we are no longer in a place that looks way bigger on camera that it is in real life.
Mm-hmm.
We are actually in Meyerfen at the Colman.
the culmination of the Goblin Hero Challenge
with the winner in hand.
And this is a dirty, swampy, muddy, joyous and safe goblin swamp
for all Goblin kind.
It has just ended this Goblin Hero Challenge.
And there are some goblins who are left behind
who definitely need some attendance,
who definitely need some help, and maybe some resurrection,
And maybe all the left of them is their nose.
They're all okay, right?
They're all okay.
Yeah, they're all okay.
We have nothing to worry about for Mujah Bumphra.
Nothing.
Okay, perfect.
She says that, but he's very dead.
We did bad things to Mujah.
Yeah, super vaporized.
I'm glad we remember that.
Okay, but where we stand now is Tippy,
you are on the muddy floor of the arena,
standing in front of the stands,
and you're with Pacaa.
arguable love interest, as well as Yonk Jagger.
Oh no.
And Nurh Herfloderg.
I rocked him.
Okay. Four goblins stand in the middle of this arena,
facing up where Eun-Zug has just appeared and read off Tippy Terror Squad's name as the winner of the Goblin Games.
Off to the side, near Tippy for sure, in the crowd and witnessing your friend's revelatory moment,
are our two skeletons busy in fibs, and you also very clear.
can see Eun-Zug standing next to Glamgen,
Glamen-Moss-Pronk?
Moss-Prunk?
Judge Glamgen-Moss-prong?
The elder judge?
The honorable judge,
the honorable judge,
Glomgen-Moss-Prank, standing next to Unzug,
who is also sandwiched by Crandall P. Grechleworth.
And as he appears and reads off Tippi's name as the winner,
describe your feelings.
I just want to know where you're at.
Well, Tippy can't believe it.
You know, he was...
so focused on just making sure Piccaro is safe and also literally just maybe just
having a little bit of fun and getting lost making a dungeon with his two best
friends that he didn't he forgot there was a challenge to be had so he's like a
lot he's like asking people around like oh wait did they say my name or was that
like the read the reject list Tibby you won you won it's you what I'm sure you
didn't win because you were kicking ass up there you won and she
and then embrace and kisses your cheek.
And it's just like, Tibby, I'm so proud of you.
And you know, we were a great team out there.
The hardest a goblin could ever blush is happening right now.
Oh, does he need to make a wisdom saving?
Yes, he does.
He's still a wear bird, though, because he...
Oh, he brewed it all during the dance.
I'm still birded out, right?
Or did that go away? Did it wear off?
It would have been up to you.
We were so into the dungeon.
I don't know where you were swallows.
By the inhalation of me blasting, I may have resumed my goblin form.
Resumed a gallant of a form.
So I will roll a wisdom.
It usually happens during the elation of blasting.
Getting a kiss from my biggest crush of all time.
I'm gonna roll a wisdom, and that's a three.
A three?
Yeah.
Okay, so you, cry.
And you turn into your where swallow
with the wings coming out of your head.
No!
She still got her goblin lips on your cheek and she goes,
Oh, don't mind.
And she turns right into a wear marmot herself on purpose.
And you look like a couple of freaks out there.
Can you describe what she looks like?
Oh, yes, a wear marmot.
So if you remember, a marmot is basically like a weird rodent
that looks like a chubby squirrel.
And she just grows a little snout, some buck teeth,
two of them at the front, big glassy eyes,
extremely rodent-like and just furry cheeks.
Everything, everything begins to be covered in fluffy fur.
Really adorable actually.
So Tippy was covering his eyes with his own ear wings.
And so he kind of unfurls them and he goes,
You don't care that I look like this?
You have to understand I've been around these lichen thrones for three years now,
and I'm one of you too, so no, all things equal, I don't care.
Because I don't mind.
I don't mind how you look.
I kinda like it.
And apparently this changes my voice.
Women, but you know how to do it better in this form
than you do in a goblin form.
Wow, thanks.
I'm a wear-bird
goblin champion.
Okay, so, okay, so he's just having his moment.
Actually, as far as Eun-zug appearing, you're just overwhelmed.
You're more concerned with this thing that's way more personal.
thing that's way more personal to him.
And Injigs, is he far, far off?
Like, how far is he?
Can we see him or is it like he's in the nose?
No, no, there's no nosebleeds.
It's really a goblin built stadium seating.
So I would say, think of a five-year-old soccer tournament stands.
Got it.
Okay?
Like, he's pretty much right there.
He's within reach.
I think Tippy is so just enamored by Pekara
and that he's won, he can't believe it.
I don't think he's noticing too much.
I don't think so either.
Yeah.
He got a smooch and he's a wear bird.
Yeah, there's a lot going on with Tippy.
But as far as our skeletons, you've met your maker
or you at least can finally see your maker.
Busy starts looking for her blanket,
like a miener.
She was looking for her sheet.
The bed sheet.
Busy's like grabbing her bed sheet
and she like looks at it, looks up at Eunzig.
Luxe looks up at Unzug.
Phibs, buddy, pal.
Do you...
That's him.
That's him.
He's here.
No way.
Do you think he wants us back?
I guess. Why else would he be here?
Right. He came for us and then also to get his sheep back.
There's no other reason for him to be here, right?
In this moment, we could probably just go up to him and say,
I bet he'd be so excited to see us.
More excited to see us than Crandall.
More excited... No one's excited to see Crandall.
You actually see that Crandall has pulled him.
close and is whispering in his ear and actually pointing at Tippy and pointing actually at you.
Oh my god.
And Eun-Zug, like, looks over and if you're looking at him, yeah, he makes eye contact.
He gives you a wink and like goes back to whispering to cramble.
Phib's jawbone falls off.
A busy is a pile of bones.
Just a second.
Pyle of bones, amazing.
Okay, you turn into a pile of bones and that's just as well because there's been this silence, this gasp of,
recognition and revelation, and all of a sudden, it breaks.
And the entire goblin community just floods the arena.
And people are lifting you up into the air.
Goblins are lifting you up.
Someone has also lifted Pecara up and Yonk and, who's the other one,
Nerg-Hurz-Hurz-Hurz-Liverg.
All of these goblins being lifted up into the air,
and it is a huge moment of victory.
Tippy, you see your adoptive brother
and sister off to the side, duck and tog.
You actually see Lump, your father,
full of piercings and tattoos and drool
and spin and sharp teeth,
and he starts wamping on him.
But you're torn away as you're just trounced
and carried through the crowd.
Before you go, Lump has an eye out on you.
Unzug clocks you too.
If you're looking up at him, he sees you.
He's making out the skeletons in the crowd.
He actually has an enormous smile on his face.
He looks genuine,
happy. And yeah, you're carried around for a little while.
In this mania of being lifted up, I look around for my trusty Bannerman and
Yeller-Haller, I go, guys, Busy, Phibs, they're going crazy everywhere. Where are you guys?
Phibbs picks his jawbone up off the ground and snaps it back into place. Hey, he's over, he's
over it, we should go after him. We should go after Pipi. Yeah, Busy, like, puts herself
together, head rolls up, snaps into place. Yeah, let's go, let's go, let's go.
and starts walking over to where Tippy is.
See, we told y'all.
Who told you? We told y'all.
Some of y'all are looking a little funny right now.
Some of y'all said our boy couldn't do it.
Haters to the left.
Haders to the left.
Phibbs moves to the right.
Perfect.
Okay, it's a grand celebration,
and soon enough you hear a warhorn being blown
as Glomgen, Mosscrong, says,
Well, everyone, calm down, calm down.
We do have to give the reward.
And everyone calms down, and you're set back down,
and the stadium parts ways so you can climb up to Glamgen and Eunzug and Krandall.
I walk back over to Phibbs and busy.
I'm like, guys, I couldn't have done this without you.
Will you walk up there with me?
Sure, if you want to, but I just want you to know from the bottom.
The bottom of my spine.
Like, you did this mostly on your own.
This took so much less cheating than I thought it was correct to.
I thought it was going to take so much cheating.
I was prepared to cheat so hard.
I was going to cheat so hard for you.
I was going to cheat too.
Yeah, and then it mostly wasn't necessary because you are just that good.
I did grease the floor so that everybody would slip in the beginning.
I don't know if that's cheating.
You did kill a lot of people.
Well, they were healed, right?
They were healed.
Yeah, that's why it was blasted because I knew they were gonna get healed.
They wouldn't lie about something like that.
Not something that important.
Right, because we did some terrible things to them with that dungeon.
And Piccarus in your body, she gives you like a punch on the shoulder and goes,
go up there and get your thing.
Okay, come on guys.
Let's do this.
Okay.
But look, let's try to look heroic.
No, let's try to look terrible. Terror.
All right.
You're the winner.
If you want us to look terror, that's what we're going to do.
And Busy's like puts her hands up almost into claws.
just goes, scary, girl, I'm big scary.
So as they're doing that, flanking me on the sides,
trying to scare people.
Tippy is walking up with a swagger
that doesn't quite fit him, you know what I mean?
He's kind of walking too big.
And are you a wear swallow?
Or have you gobbled back?
I, have I goblened back.
You tell me.
Yeah, you gobbling back.
Yeah, I have gobbling back.
I can't have anything to see me as a wear bird.
I mean, he's seen me.
Yeah, okay.
It's too late.
He's seen everything.
I'm gonna pretend he hasn't.
Okay.
So I walk up there, big old swag, swinging my arms, left and right, like I'm, like, about
to start an MMA championship.
Yeah, perfect.
Perfect.
And you've got your skeleton friends behind you.
What you're walking up to is just a beaming unzug.
And remember, he's decked out in his black and red robes, his human skull paldrons.
He's got his python staff and...
exquisite facial hair as well as a white stripe
in his dark black.
That's crazy.
They got an Eun-Zug impersonator for this party.
That's insane.
Yeah, no expense spared, I think,
should we tell him or should we?
Wow, he looks just like Unzug.
Oh, it's probably like a disguise self
because you guys are so good at that.
Somebody's probably doing that.
It's, uh, that's him.
Bizzy shoves the blanket under his nose.
And then it's, it smells.
It smells like him.
Oh, it does.
It is my greatest honor.
Unzug!
Tippy immediately, all the swagger he had just dissipates.
And it's just pure fear.
Unsure what's gonna happen next, and he hides behind busy.
Her bones come apart and then go around him and back around
where she begins propping him up
and is now essentially holding him
up like a puppet.
Like, okay.
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Like, he has fantastic posture.
He might be kind of hanging off of her a little bit,
but she's like holding him up to, like, get him to look like he's back in swagger.
Okay.
Are you going to allow this to happen?
Yeah, of course.
Okay, you do.
Then let's see how successful you actually are.
This is going to be performance with advantage since Tippy's helping you.
Oh, fantastic.
So that is going to be a 21.
Oh, beautiful.
Thank God.
Okay.
You are able to scurry behind busy, but it looks as though you just had like a
So you were just going to come out like, oh, okay, so I'm going to be who I actually am.
And even though Busy's puppeting you, it looks just like you walk with the extreme confidence,
chest puffed out even more than before.
And Unzug says,
It is my greatest honor to present the Goblin Hero Award to Tippy Terror Squad.
And I have a story for all of you, Goblins.
As it turns out, Crandall has just told me that
Tippy's from my dungeon. Can you believe it?
I had every chance to work with this young goblin,
but I had nothing to do with the win.
I really didn't. I just read the piece of paper,
but it's just one of those things, you know.
It's just a fun story to tell you.
And everyone's like chuckling and going, oh yeah, of course.
So true.
Yeah, so true.
And he says, so Tippy.
I have this for you as a reward.
He holds out, it looks just like a round cylinder,
but he says, this is a scope for your pistol.
My lord, darkest of all lords, the evilest of Zeus.
Okay.
Stand, Goblin.
Today is your day.
Thank you.
Thank you, great dark Lord, and Zug.
And I grabbed the scope.
Yes, you take it from him, and the only thing really that you notice is that his hands are pretty close.
Would you like a hand warmer?
I could build you one of these.
We haven't talked in a while.
Okay.
I'm looking at the ground, not looking at your eyes.
And the other presentation, and he just says to Glamgen,
and Glamgen picks up a wolf's head that still has the fur on it,
just the top of it, not the lower jaw, and he places it on your head.
And Glamgen says, this is our goblin hero crown,
the head of a wolf.
Don't worry you'll grow into it.
It's, yeah, it's huge.
Or you're tiny.
Okay, okay.
And-
I'm just glad he didn't call me a baby, but I'll take tidy.
For those, just so you know the scope adds plus one to attack and damage rules.
It's a plus one scope for your pistol.
And when you are actively using the scope,
on a DC-16 perception check
versus one creature,
as a bonus action, you can find out.
a creature's armor class and or weakness and or ask me a secret.
Okay, amazing.
Like the last time they cried?
Oh gosh.
Do they like me?
Yeah.
And then the crown of the wolf's head, if you wear it, you have advantage on intelligence,
wisdom, and charisma saving throws.
Oh.
Damn!
Wow.
You thought this was a gross hat.
It is gross.
It also is pretty effective.
You also have resistance to psychic damage.
Wow.
any psychic damage will be halved.
Thank you, Unzug.
And thank you, honorable Judge Klopkin.
Speech, speech, speech, speech!
Speech, no.
Oh, God.
Speech, speech.
I turn to address the crowd.
My fellow goblins.
I cast a prestidigitation so his voice starts booming.
Yes!
My fellow goblins!
Please know that I'm...
I'm no champion.
I'm no hero.
I'm just a, I'm just a goblin like you.
You guys don't know this, but I worked for Unzug's lair.
Unzug.
No, no, we do. He just told us.
I know, I know. I know. I'm not good at this. I'm not good at this.
But hear me out.
When I started at Unzug's Lair, I was just a guy making traps and,
and honestly just trying to fit in and talk to my friend Maxwell, who you guys would love.
But anyways.
I never thought I could be a champion.
I never thought I could be up here with a wolf hat and a cool scope.
But just know that I didn't do it alone.
I did it with two of my best friends in the whole wide world.
Busy and fibs.
And if everybody could give them a hand, I would appreciate it.
Yeah, the crowd goes wild.
You hear shouts of fizz.
Shouts for busy.
And of course, shouts for Tippy.
And Eun-Zug leans down, gives you a nod of approval,
and shakes your hand.
I shakily go and shake his hand.
And he says, good job, good job,
Tippy Terror Quest.
What?
That's your name?
Huh?
Tippy Terror Quest.
Good job, you said?
Yes.
Well done.
Wow.
Now, go celebrate.
celebrate I...
My dark lord said good job to me.
That's crazy.
And he looks at the rest of it.
He's like in a zone.
So he looks over at you and says,
when you are finished celebrating, I'd like for you three to join me in my palanquin.
He said good job.
And he looks over and he points off in the distance where there's a really ornate black palanquin.
Should I make an agenda for the meeting?
Number one.
Catch up.
Catch up.
Catch.
I'm going to ask you some questions about your journey.
Unload and talk about...
Anyway, that looks like an amazing agenda.
Tipi snaps out of this weird little trance he just put himself in and turns to address Unzug.
And he bows deeply and goes, my dark lord, king of the void, master of the, uh, did I already say dark?
The Dead, Master of the Dead.
The Dead.
May I just ask a simple question from a humble goblin?
Um, where were you?
That will be covered in the agenda of catch up.
Well then can I do a new question because you're going to answer that anyways?
Yep.
When you said good job, did you mean it?
Roll an insight check.
That's gonna be a...
You think he's earnest. You absolutely think he's earnest.
And he looks at you and says,
I don't know what you, Goblin, have been through,
and who your family or what your upbringing was.
But you should have been told that many times throughout your life.
Oh, wow.
Boon Zook is the best!
Okay, so he's going to, at that he's going to climb down
and shake some Goblin's hands and move away to the palanquin,
and Crandall's going to go with him and says,
No, don't make him wait too long.
Yes, obviously, Crandall.
Yeah, Crandall.
Come on.
Yeah, Crandall.
We've got a catch-up, Crandall, do you?
No, there's just a way of doing things,
and even though he shook your hand.
He didn't just shake my hand, he said, good job.
I know, but just because it doesn't mean
that you are of a station.
It looks like he's getting ahead of you,
so you might want to catch you on Crandall.
Yeah, yeah, five minutes, five minutes.
You see him run off and he's got just the quirk of a smile
on his lips.
Went comes up and,
hands you 2,000 gold pieces.
Let's go.
Went comes up and hands you 2,000 gold pieces.
Oh, more gold.
And he says, it's so heavy.
Well, you got it right, didn't you?
I told you, Wendt.
I knew what I was doing, and I definitely
understand the value of money.
So for your troubles, here's a hundred gold.
Oh, tip in the house, are you?
Well, we won't say no to that.
Now, you know who to come to whenever you need mushrooms
or just some general.
Oh, you better.
I'm gonna believe I do.
Skull-Duggery.
Fibs, who is this guy?
This is Wendt Kudgloom.
He's the brother in-law to Gwent Fummi-Krust.
Oh, we're real brothers, but I married into the Kudg-G-G-G-E.
He's the brother of Gwent Fummy-Krust.
So your maiden name would be Fummy Crust.
Matrilineal.
No, because also Gwent married into the Fumny-Crust.
Oh, okay, right, you're...
So what would your matrilennial family name be?
Before I was Fummuckold and Cudgloom.
Please, I'd like to know.
We just, it's a respect thing for us.
You know, first and last.
It's a pardformk.
Pardformk.
Was that a K at the end of that?
A P-K.
A P-K.
M-P-K.
It's Pard.
Pard.
Pard-formk.
Pardformk.
Pardformk.
Pardformk.
All right.
Well, it's been an honor and I'll go away from this one rich,
Okay, is there anything else y'all would like to do before heading to Unzug?
Ooh, the goblins are making merry.
The band is playing, people are dancing.
When is our appointment with Unzuk, like can we sleep?
Can we rest before we meet?
Did he say five minutes?
Did he say five minutes?
Did he say five minutes?
Crandall was like, yeah, five minutes.
Okay, I can't sleep, so...
I mean, unless you want to talk to Piccarra again before we go.
That's busy saying that, not Danielle.
Yeah, let's go talk to Baccaro.
Yeah, I want to go.
Pekara did such a good job.
I want to let her know.
Oh, yeah.
So Pekar's hanging out with Pliksi and Fug.
Fug.
They're just...
It's just circles, man.
And the girls are attracting a lot of attention,
especially after Pekara's very, very good Umbaba dance.
Damn, yeah.
But you're able to squeeze in, and she just looks up and goes,
Oh, he's Tipi!
Hi!
Great! Great job! I'm so proud of you.
I'm proud of you, too.
When you were up there on the Frog Hemeth,
it really felt like, I don't know.
You really knew what you were doing.
Yeah, no, I knew us together.
We were great.
We were great.
Yeah, we were a great team.
I think so too.
A great partnership, maybe.
I know.
A great coupling.
Yes, Tippy.
Yes?
Yes.
Yeah.
So what are you gonna do about it, Mr. Winner?
Well, how about, how about I do a sidebar?
Can I do a sidebar real quick?
Sorry, we're just gonna do a sidebar really quick.
We'll just be really back.
I want to ask her out, but I feel like I'm gonna puke.
If you want me to, I can do it for you.
I'll do the voice, you just move the mouth.
Yes.
Okay.
Hi, Pachara.
Hi, Pekara.
Hi, Pekara.
Don't look at me.
Hi, Pekara.
I just want to say, my name's Tippi, and you know, Pekara, I...
Tibby, this is so sad.
What?
This is so sad.
What?
I just, okay, why is it sad?
Just, I can't anymore.
You're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna,
If you're gonna do something, just do it.
I wanna go out with you.
I wanna go out with you.
Do you really want to?
I really want to.
Well, I want you too.
Well, great.
We're great.
Oh, cool.
Fine.
I grab Pecora and I kiss her.
Okay, so you do.
Roll to attack.
Oh no.
She allows it.
And Plexi goes, oh my God, finally.
Girl, I know, right?
Oh my God.
It's been like 10 episodes.
Yeah, yeah, finally.
as I kiss her, I want to as gently as possible,
transform into a were bird,
and sort of just hover us both in like a sort of sweet moment
where we're just hovering and turning,
but only like centimeters out of the ground.
Imagine you're kissing someone
that suddenly their mouth turned into a beak.
Because that's what just...
I'm going full tongue, all beak, for sure.
Okay, yeah, Pecora.
Pekara is into it.
You float above the crowd.
You're getting a lot of attention,
And there's just a soft applause as people are just melting with romance.
Lizzie's like ripping up like any moss or flowers and like floating it so it like floats in the air around.
Amazing.
It's pretty.
Yes, beautiful.
And Flixie goes, you get yours, girl.
This is great.
Congrats for Kara.
I never thought he was gonna actually do it.
You said he had some bowls to grow, but I'm glad he did.
Yeah, I had to happen.
How is fog looking at fun?
It was like, perfectly.
Perfectly round.
Oh, right.
Yeah, yes, yes.
All right, plugged into it, perfect.
And so you set yourselves down and Pekara says,
you know, I've kind of like to meet Eun-Zu.
Yeah, why, hold on, let me ask, can Picara come?
Yeah, I guess.
I don't see what, we can, I mean.
They didn't say no plus ones.
They didn't say no plus ones.
They didn't say no plus ones.
I feel like if Crandall's invited.
He's a minus one.
Yeah, then we have to make up with a whole other person.
Basic math dictates.
Yeah, I think it's okay.
Okay, if you're ready, you make your way over to Unzug
with Pecara in tow.
You enter the palanquin and you just kind of open it up
and there's Unzug sitting there,
lounging crandles against the other side.
Before we get in, Busy's gonna use her mask medallion
to cast a sky's self where Busy is now
wearing a very tidy blouse with like a little,
neckerchief, which is tucked into a very tidy skirt.
Her hair is up in a very professional looking bun.
And I don't know, she's bones, so you can't really do makeup.
But you do notice there's like maybe like a little bit
of flush on her cheeks.
And she is wearing a really nice blazer over it.
So she basically looks like a 1960s flight attendant.
Amazing.
I look so professional.
Wow.
I think even, yeah, with the bones, you can always add some lashes.
Yeah, you always had a lash. Come on. What are we?
So as you enter, he says, thank you for dressing up for me.
Thank you. You know, I take these meetings very seriously,
and I think that this is a chance for us to have a very good...
Crandall, where has she been?
Dialogue.
And Crandall goes, oh, yes, well, she's not always been this effective.
And he just kind of dismisses it and says,
and gives you a nod of approval and says,
and it looks as though we have another goblin.
Yes, my sweet dark lord, this is Pekara.
My, what are we?
Oh, damn, you go fast when you go.
What are we?
Well, we just recently smooched.
My most recent smooch, my dark lord.
The war is over and both sides lost.
Kingdoms were reduced to cinders,
and armies,
scattered like bones in the dust.
Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world,
praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight.
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This is old school adventuring at its most cruel.
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This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically,
based on the decisions that the characters make.
This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s,
and man, it is so good to be back.
Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark
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When the Chaotics are on the case.
He says, a fellow champion, I see if there were second place, he would have been second, and you are welcome here.
So he sits back and he says, I am.
Imagine you have some questions for me.
We have so many and busy pulls out or click for a click.
First of all, I just want to say again,
thank you so much for scheduling this meeting.
This is really fantastic.
I do want to do kind of a post-mortem
on what happened in the dungeon.
I'm not sure if you heard about the dungeon
and everything that's been going on.
Well, I do know that I gave that up to a reputable
company. You gave
the dungeon up? You gave it up?
I sold the dungeon.
Oh, was there like a memo we missed?
Was there supposed to be a memo?
I do not.
She's going through everything. I don't think I was
CC. We were still there.
A quarter conversation on
any moment. They killed everybody.
They killed everyone. No, what?
Yeah, oh, the gallantlings came, they wiped everyone
out, and there was the Fiends Union. The last I
checked, the dungeon was fully
populated. And Crandall goes,
well, you did tell me, I
I could leave just the way you did.
And he says, but you were the order of operations,
so you made sure things were in order.
Crennell says, oh, I just kind of took your example,
and I also left.
Know everyone was killed except these three,
and so that's a reason to celebrate.
And he says, the phase spiders.
Yes, gone.
Excuse me, my lord.
They're not all gone.
Loof.
Come meet the Dark Lord Unzouk.
And she creeps out and says,
You will perish immediately from my might.
Whoa.
Oh, Luf, Louf.
Don't that.
Chill out.
Chill out.
She's just showing, Dark Lord Unzug.
She's just showing you how she is effective.
I am a wrath.
I'm a wrath.
Oh my God.
I'm a cancer in the world.
I'm the worst thing you've ever dreamt of,
and the last thing you'll think of before.
You could just sleep.
I step in front of Phibs trying to muffle her.
Being like, she's learning a lot.
She's just a baby.
Unlike me, I'm not a baby.
So he says that is a fascinating creature.
That's what's left of my phase spiders.
Yeah, the last surviving phase spider from your lair,
the daughter of my best friend Bloodweaver.
Crandall, what have you been doing?
doing with my lair minions.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And he says, well, you know, I came from the ExoHags
layer, and I just took practices with me.
And you haven't really wanted to get to know anyone,
so I didn't introduce you to anyone.
And he says, you don't think I have a vested interest
in knowing if there are certain minions who are more
apt than others.
And Crandall says, isn't it a mute point?
They're mostly all gone anyway.
And he says, you don't have to leave now,
but I'm relieving you of your duty.
Oh, my God, oh snap.
You don't have to get home,
but you gotta get the hell out of here.
This is unacceptable.
These are not the reports I was given.
And Creditus says, you've been off me gallivanting.
And he goes,
French is for this world.
Say that one more time, Crandall, Greckleworth.
And he says,
I'm sorry, my lord, you are saving the world.
And from what I hear, so are the rest of you.
Yes, we've been doing some great work saving the world.
What, how have you been working on saving the world?
Because we know that there's a lot going on, and it's kind of dangerous right now.
There's...
The scythe of Aurelia is involved.
The scythe.
Yeah.
That is how I am saving the world.
They need to perish.
I agree.
Yeah.
And I think their number one weakness is how much they are reliant on many.
Their community is overflowing, and they simultaneously love killing.
It also slows them down, whereas I, as one elf, can move
throughout the world, almost undetected.
My dark lord, if I may ask,
the scythe of Aurelia, you're so powerful,
and, you know, your tales of unbound power
and might go so far,
why have you not crushed them single-handedly
with your great, dark, powerful might?
I am not powerful enough yet,
while I have grown in power over these last centuries.
so have they.
I have set them on a quest
that they do not know I orchestrated
the seeking out of the five articles of the Sundari.
Okay, we were kind of on that quest too.
They will not find them all
for here I have one, his staff.
Phibs, you see him squint his eyes
and it's very clear he's casting detect magic.
And I see you have some magic items of your own.
Two of which are articles of the Sundari.
Oh, I thought you were asking about Gun Tipy.
I hold up my Eldridge cannon and it kind of winks at him.
Pretty cool, huh?
I'm probably gonna put the scope on this one.
Not as impressive as the other two articles that you have
on your person.
Oh, he wants to see the chalice.
He wants to see the chalice.
Show him the chalice.
So you've got the staff of Roll Bear.
We have the chalel.
What was the chalice?
The chalice of Kirkland.
May I see it?
Of course.
Anything.
And Zee reaches in, grabs the chalice, and hands it over to Unzug.
Now he just looks at and goes, that is a beautiful work of art.
You may keep it?
What was the third item?
Will you have it, don't you?
Don't I?
Do I?
And he just nods up at the top of your head.
What?
This former top hat?
former top hat that belonged to a gelatinous cube from a different time that's been since turned
into a hat of wizardry by my dear pal Tippy? No. The extensions? And Busy just starts like
grabbing the fake hair. Yes. Now be gentle. It's real hair. As you grab it, he says, you did not know
you carried the tattoo of crass. The what? The tattoo of crass? How was this not activated? The way
that I'm detecting this, it seems as though a Sundara did a
to appear to you.
Oh yeah, yeah, the goat lady, yeah,
helped save a goat.
Arsena.
Yes, Arsena, she was very doubtful.
In fact, I would say everyone around me
was very doubtful that I was gonna save that goat.
Oh, my god, the deer, the deer was a deer.
To the point where it felt kind of hurtful after the fact.
Do you think that Asundara just appears to anyone?
You know?
I don't know.
We, it was like our first day out of the dungeon,
and she was one of the first people we'd actually really seen.
And of course, now we are much learned of the ways of the outside world.
But at the time, yeah, we just kind of thought you'd go on a road
and then just a person shows up.
Yeah, and then there's like a magical trolley problem involving a lady and a goat.
Okay. Wow. That's a lot.
She disarmed me, I'm afraid to say, and pushed my face into the ground.
I am forever ashamed by that.
You are.
You didn't have to tell them.
I'm sorry, I felt like I had to.
No, you didn't.
But I get, no, I appreciate you.
If we are going to go over every second
of the adventure that you've had
since the last time I've been in your presence,
we will not have time because I have something to ask of you.
It's okay, we'll record these someday
and play them back for you.
Busy just goes through,
it starts like taking offline items under ketchup.
So many items.
You must understand is that the Sundari
are at the core of this all.
And I know that while those minions like you
who have been in my lair have been naive,
unaware of the outside world,
they are driving all of Sundaros.
The scythea really are distracted by them.
There is a secret there to uncover,
and all I know is the ravings of a madman,
Isajar, have been my guiding light.
There is a last step of my journey
that I do need help with.
First of all, what I will say is, while you bear and are attuned to your tattoo of Kras,
you are the champion of Arsena.
And while you are attuned to and bear the chalice of Kyrkin, you are the champion of Ordenf.
Those might have little weight at the moment, as the Sundari are all beings and presences on different planes of
the mere bones on our plane,
but I can see that this tattoo did bring
our sinner, at least for a time,
onto our material plane.
And I mean, mere bones could actually make
kind of a lot of stuff happen.
Yeah.
You can actually do a lot.
We got this far.
With mere bones.
I have been a champion of the undead
for as long as I can remember.
And goblins.
Yes. I mean, obviously.
No, I'm saying I stand with the Undead, too, as a goblin.
I sponsored the OU-DU-DU-DU-T.
I sponsored the OU-DU-DU-DU too.
Yeah. Okay. But I did sponsor the Goblin Hero Challenge, so obviously I support Goblins.
You're right. Everything you say is right by Dark Lord.
I have a question. You mentioned Isajar.
I did.
So we were talking with someone and they kept saying something about a throat bone, like a bone and a throat.
Throat bone.
Throat bone.
Yes, I am not sure what that could mean.
You mean the scurly to hyoid?
The scurly to hyoid.
Scurlita Hyoid, he writes about that often.
What's that?
Well, as your skeleton friends know,
it's a bone in your throat, unconnected,
to any other bone in your body.
Okay.
What's that first part mean?
Scurrilla has many different meanings.
One of them is goblin.
A goblin throat bone?
I mean, surely I've got one of those.
Yes.
Wait, you don't need it, do you?
No.
Okay, thank God.
Scurulita has other meanings,
the most common of which is coward.
Oh. Huh. Yeah, I don't have that one.
So I would assume it's...
Coward bone.
Yes, but...
Not me.
This is where Isidja's writings all meander.
However, there is one clue that I do have that I've yet to be able to accomplish,
and that is accessing fit fet-fedel delve.
And I, by all rights should be able to get in there,
but there is a force so powerful.
so powerful, preventing beings like myself of great power from entering.
Fitfedel Delve, as you know, is the Dwarven gem mine
that has been in existence since before the searing.
It is where the fatekeepers of old
held their meetings, and they have a wealth of gems.
All magic stones or magic amplifiers, and I can only assume,
in the last centuries that they have put up so much defense
to isolate themselves and prevent others
from gaining that power.
Busy puts her hand up.
Yes, um, yes, Busy.
Thank you, thank you.
Thank you for calling on me.
Just I wanted to add a note quickly.
I think I might be able to get in there
to the dwarf gem place.
Okay.
So I haven't mapped this out yet.
This isn't like this is just, you know, blue sky thinking.
Safe space.
Safe space.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
All ideas are good ideas.
All ideas are good ideas.
No wrong things, no brainstorm.
So I was a dwarf before I was.
Oh, I did recognize a bit of that bone structure.
And it seems as though I was one of the fatekeepers.
Oh my.
When I was a different kind of alive.
Do you remember?
The biggest question of all was who was your source?
There was a source of the fatekeepers who told them who to write down a magical being or a deity of power or an energy if the lure is correct.
I don't think I got to that part yet, my flashbacks.
I have been seeing more of my past life lately.
Your Lordship, I think that we should probably take her then.
You know, sometimes retracing his steps helps jog.
memories back into place, even if you did burn them down in some sort of
etheric goo palace. I'm going to have to get that story from you. Just not right now.
Of course. I'm willing to tell you the whole thing from start to finish right now.
Don't you dare. I'm excited to hear this. If you on some level could, I don't know,
convince the High Council of Fit Fideldel Delf or determine the source of this I
isolationism and be rid of it,
then I might be able to gain the power I need
to take out the entire scythe of a rilee,
which I believe is my full purpose.
He does say, you have the chalice, you have the tattoo.
Where is my tattoo?
It is, okay.
Is it underneath my hat?
I take it off, the hair dangles down.
It's on the scalp, yeah.
It's like on the skin that the hair is attached to.
I never noticed.
Is there anything written to me?
Yes, it is an eight-pointed star.
Oh, wow.
He says, I don't know that anyone would have been able to find it.
Everyone has been looking for this tattoo,
thinking it's a magical tattoo that transfers from person to person.
Wow.
So it's on the scalp?
Yeah, it's in my hat.
Wait, Maxwell's hat?
This was- The hair, the scalp, but the hair is-
You gave me the hat.
I added the hair because-
So what a lucky find.
Yeah, I guess.
Wow.
When you wear it, so this is what this magic item does,
this is the tattoo of K-R-A-S-S.
Sure.
You can cast the scrying spell,
spell save DC-17, concentration up to 10 minutes,
but you can cast it on any plane of existence.
Amazing.
During this 10 minutes of concentration,
you actually have true sight on this plane.
Wow.
The true sight also can be on the plane
that you're experiencing scrying.
Okay.
You can alternate between seeing and hearing
on the planes in those 10 minutes,
but you can't do both at once.
And it's an unlimited use of the spell,
but each time takes 10 minutes to cast it.
So treat it like I'm doing kind of like a ritual almost?
It's a ritual.
And the rules for failing and saving this wisdom,
saving throw are the same as the Skry spell.
Okay.
A little broken, but you're welcome.
Thank you.
So works out of all planes, even spirit.
Even goo?
It costs extra.
I need more components.
Okay, and he says, so you have your chalice
and you have your tattoo.
My hair.
This stuff may come in handy.
Oh, maybe that's a fibs thing,
because I got these bad boys.
And he goes ahead, hands you the staff of Roll Bear.
Oh my gosh.
It is a plus two quarter staff,
which is going to give you plus two on attacks and damage rolls.
It can take four forms.
It's got a cool snakehead.
You can use an action to turn it into one of the four forms.
A full birch tree.
Oh, excuse me?
40 feet tall.
What?
A giant constrictor snake.
which is a huge creature,
or a poisonous snake, which is extremely tiny,
real little garden snake.
You use an action to take a form
and then you use a bonus action
to turn back into you holding the staff.
Okay.
You also can turn into the staff itself.
Damn.
And then, just for anybody who might,
like, who's listening or watching
and might have forgotten what the chalice does
and how that works, maybe we should just, like, go ahead.
I think it's a great idea.
The chalice is really great, actually.
Yeah, it's really cool, so we should probably...
So you use an action to name a liquid.
It causes this to produce the chosen liquid.
When it's full, the liquid may be drunk by a creature.
You can say any liquid that you like,
but the ones that I listed for you are healing potions.
And the highest one, supreme healing,
takes 20 minutes or a short rest for that to fill up,
and that is 10D4 plus 20.
But you can go regular healing,
and that takes 12 seconds.
2D4 plus 2.
And you can name other potions if you know
their names and qualities, poisons, that kind of thing too.
Okay, perfect.
You could just spin in action right now
and name a potion.
Well, let's see.
How are you doing on your health?
I feel okay.
I'm at 18. I feel okay.
It doesn't spill.
It'll hold, it'll hold for, until it's drunk.
Oh, great.
I would love to fill this chalice with healing potion.
Would you like the 20 minute one,
the Supreme Healing?
That's 10D4 plus 20.
Yeah, I super want supreme healing.
Perfect.
So you start filling it up.
You've got your staffs and he says,
I'll take you to where my palace is now.
I've been moving around a lot,
but I've got a little pocket dimension palace.
It's in your pocket?
It's, it is not in my pocket.
I'll show a to you.
Have you considered that?
Sneaky.
Putting it in my pocket.
I have lots of things in my pocket.
It's really useful.
So that's just not how the spell works.
When you are finished and when you would just have
answer for me about how to get into fit,
Fettledel, please return there.
And he says, and so with that, Crandall,
I think you can arrange for us to be taken to the palace.
And Crandall said, it would be my pleasure
as my last duty for you, my liege.
And he leans out.
You actually see Lump, Captain Lump,
running towards this palanquin, just yelling,
you got my stupid son, you got this.
And Eun-ZUG leans out and goes,
Captain Lump, so nice of you to join us.
You can be at the front of the palanquin guard,
carrying your very capable son and myself to my mansion.
Oh, yeah, Dad.
And he shut up.
Take that, Dad.
A very notable honor.
Roll up the window of the palanquin.
Yeah, exactly.
And you just see gobbins.
Most of them are, I mean, everyone except Lump,
is extremely honored to be carrying this fairly large palanquin
full of a bunch of people.
So we're all in there with him.
It's very spacious for a palanquin.
Is Piccarra in there?
Yeah, Piccarra's with you.
And he takes you to the entrance outside of Myerfin of the palace.
You can see that it's marked by two statues of like bones wrapped around pillars.
And he says, this won't leave for another 24 hours and I will await you here.
Thank you for inviting us to your pocket.
My dark lord.
Well...
Into your dimension.
Into my dimension.
Yes, thank you.
My pocket dimension.
And you will be welcome.
There will be plenty of food and drink for you.
I have a couple questions.
More, yes.
Is there a vacancy now for your...
I don't even know what Crandall is doing, but like...
My C.O.
I know I have a great recommendation for a C.O.
and I nudge busy sort of to the front.
I would be most honored to take over and be part of the C-suite.
When he takes your clipboard, it is excellent penmanship.
The scrolls make a lot of sense.
You've taken notes during the meeting, and he says,
I would need more information.
Obviously, all I know is hearsay.
But do this for me, and there actually is a vacancy.
This looks very proficient.
Thank you also.
I'll send you over my CV.
Oh, what?
Oh, that's very cool.
Good.
Yeah, whatever you want to write on there, I'm open.
Thank you.
You make your way to FitFedalv.
He's given you a map.
You can head there.
It's not very not far, about half an hour's walk
to the entrance of FitFedal Delve,
which, as you know, is a dwarven gem mine
with an entrance at the base of FitFedel Mountain.
And as you approach,
There are several different beings.
You are not the only undead, goblins, skeletons.
There also are gallantlings, dwarves and elves and teethlings and dhlings and halflings.
Humans too.
This is a hub for gem trade.
It is almost eerily silent as people, when they make their,
business deals are whispering.
And inside the mountain, it seems that there is more activity even.
As you approach, you blend in and you have a dwarf catch up to you.
And these dwarves, they wear armor.
They also wear robes over their armor.
Their insignia is a geometric shape of a cut diamond.
And this dwarf very solemnly says, what brings you here to fit Fettledown?
We've come to see the council.
We've got official business from our Dark Lord.
And I would like to speak to the council
and take a look around at my ancestreel homeland.
I recognize that accent.
Your ancestor homeland is fit-fettered elf.
I believe so.
So in life you were a dwarf.
a dwarf. I... Oh, that's so interesting. I think a tour we could do as far as speaking with
the High Council's not going to happen. And what you see is there's one dwarf who is
locked in on you, like pretending like she's not looking at you, but she definitely is looking
at you. Like you are sparking this person's attention. She's maintaining a very
solemn look, but she's almost like getting rid of the people that she's talking to and
making it clear like she would rather be your assistant in this matter.
And he just goes, so that is something that no one talks to the High Council.
I can't even get into the High Council, but are you here for some gems as well?
I'm mostly here on official business.
I believe I should only bring that to the Council.
We could deal in some gems on the side, maybe on the way out.
I'll definitely look at a gem.
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, they're so pretty, look at them all shining and stuff.
Well then...
Let's start with a tour.
And so this is kind of going back and
and he says, we'll start with a tour,
but he's kind of looking for advice,
and at that moment is when the dwarf overtakes him
to become your guide, and that dwarf is played by Beka Skye.
Yay!
If the re-hitty tours are happening in Fittledal,
I be given the tours.
So glad I've practiced exactly this
feeling like you've established all dwarfs.
Swarves at.
Oh no, I just, you, yes, hi Becca.
Hi everybody, thanks for having me.
Yes, and as you approach these two skeletons
and a goblin, will you describe to them what they see?
Well, they see standing at a thick four feet,
stout frame of a dwarf.
She has fiery red hair, thickly braided,
but it seems like the braids are always undoing themselves,
but somehow writing themselves back up again?
Very orderly.
It's like the hair is fighting it,
but the order must be maintained.
She's got this underbitten snaggle tooth coming up
and she's wearing the same diamond insignia
on a very beat up thin metal armor
with some chain underneath.
And really fashionable fur covered shoulders.
Ooh.
Mm.
Beautiful.
I heard talk of a Dark Lord?
Perhaps I could give you the tour myself.
Oh, you, Miss Burrfest, you don't have to.
We know you're busy with your ruin shaping.
Hush, I am a run shaper, and as such,
I hold certain status here.
This is how that accent works.
See?
I'm captivated.
No, two seconds ago.
The name's Barignis Burrfist.
The sixth.
You will be so taken care of.
This is unprecedented.
Miss Berfus does not just give tours these days.
She's a run-shapper.
She is one of the people responsible
for putting magic in the gems.
Ah, Beregneus.
Does that sound familiar?
Didn't Maxwell cover?
I just think that there's probably,
Boregneus is probably a common dwarf.
Well, it's not a common dwarf.
No, there is high, low,
around our berignius Burrifice.
Yes, yes, we all know the lore of Bergenius.
I am the sixth out of six.
There are no other Beregnihy.
Don't be reductive here.
It's quite an honor.
Well, hello, Bergnus.
Tippy puts out his hand.
Great pleasure.
I sense something in the three of you.
I'm Tippy Terror Squad, the first.
This is Phibbs, the first.
And this is busy, the first.
Something about your bone structure is
quite striking, busy.
Thank you, Lassie.
It's just right out there for everyone to see.
That's why I felt okay.
No, no secrets.
No, no secrets in the, hey.
If you have it all under control,
I'll go assist another group, but you've done well.
Oh, well, thank you.
Good job.
We say that a lot here.
Wow.
Yeah, it's so nice to see a place
with positive reinforcement.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Before you go, what is your first and last name?
I don't know.
Uh-huh.
Uh, my, my first name is, um, boon.
Boon.
Boob.
Boob.
Boobh.
Roobbe throat.
How do you spell that?
Boon.
It's because there's a ruby in his throat.
Oh, it's because the ruby's in the throat.
Ruby throat.
Boone.
I'm proud of you.
What?
Miss Burrfist.
Bow deeper next time if you don't mind.
Oh, Miss Burrfist.
Yes.
A hearty bow.
That's a good bow.
That's a great bow.
That's a great bow.
Really good bowing and scraping.
And I have seen some great bowing and scraping.
And this dwarf moves on to assist a halfling who has just showed up.
Act casual.
Step this way we've much to speak about.
Oh, nice.
Thanks for helping us.
Casually, casually.
Okay.
Busy starts walking casual.
And as you walk casually, where Virignis takes you is within the delve itself, right into the mountain.
With her status, she is able to bypass any security that would be there.
And this version where Eun-ZUgh isn't able to enter, you just don't feel anything like that.
The one thing that you, as castors, do feel, is the entire cavern of this place is thrumming with magic,
just like Earnker Fathom was.
It feels different.
It's not as mysterious, it's more accessible magic.
And what you see as you wander in,
as Berignis leads you in, this is her home.
It's normal to her, but what you see is
just an enormous cavern.
It's as if an entire neighborhood block
was dropped down the center of this shaft.
scaffolding, dwarven buildings.
It's empty in the center, but on the outside,
there's spiral staircases, spiral platforms that move around.
Also, it seems as though there are rooms built into the dirt and stone.
Torchlight lights it up, but not as much as so many different colored gems.
It is glistening and shining and twinkling,
reds and blues, greens, dark purples, light purples.
The gems themselves are inlaid into this stone cavern, into the walls,
and they themselves are producing light as well.
It looks a bit chaotic, unstructured, left natural,
but there is an order to the stones that were left in the wall.
Busy's just going to walk up, put her hand on one of the stones.
Does any of this feel familiar?
Is there anything that she kind of feels while looking at this?
Yes. Although you did burn down your memory palace, so...
Technically it was flesh fibs.
You do sense a familiar feeling of comfort.
And it's like your bardic magic is normally channeled through the attention of others.
But when you touch this gem, it feels as though you are being watched by an audience.
It is like you just have...
of magic at your fingertips, and it feels like this,
it feels like coming home.
You get over there busy?
You're touching the rock.
Are we all supposed to touch the rock?
It feels pretty crazy in here.
I can only imagine what she's experiencing.
I feel like I am floating right now.
Like I just feel so like just in the air,
just like, just high.
I just feel like I am very high.
You need to build up your tolerance for gems, you see.
Okay.
Oh.
I touch the rock.
So, Busy touched a red ruby gem that is poking out uncut, and you touch...
I want to touch a rock.
You want to touch a rock.
Not understanding.
Okay, you touch a rock and you do not experience the same glory that she did.
Huh.
Not really getting a hit.
Not really feeling anything.
Oh, that's not.
No, that's not.
To the left.
What?
To the left.
hand to the left and it comes to rest on a bit of turquoise.
You are inundated with the feeling of being able to communicate with inanimate objects.
Like they're not communicating with you, but it's like they're wanting, they're welcoming you.
The machines? I could talk to them.
They hear me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, whoa, that stone was real good.
And you hear a dwarf more casual than the other dwarfs, like really lack of day.
kind of shooting winks at people and just not as doesn't have the decorum as these other dwarfs and she comes out goes
Varegnia so who are your friends here you on the job you on the clock right now
yes I'm on the clock well Gottfrieda pull it together your buttons unbuttoned what oh
sorry so uh what's when I need to right now I don't want to do my ruin shaping at the moment
don't tell me boss which is you got Frida you know
I should make you do your run-shaping anyway,
because sometimes we have to do it
when we don't want to do it.
But yeah, you could have the afternoon off.
We have a fun adventure.
Don't tell anyone.
No, I'm not gonna tell anyone.
I have to have people think my apprentice is working hard.
You got a pretty chill boss.
Don't mess this up.
She's my best friend.
She doesn't want this job anyway.
You see, behind the back, Barignis does
like a little finger waggle handshake.
Oh, yeah.
There we go.
Oh, so fun here.
It's so fun.
No, it's not.
Oh, we're the only fun ones here.
It's not very strict, very efficient.
Do you see these gems, they must be mined at all hours of the day.
Well, what are you mining them for?
Mining them for magic, of course, and power.
And it's our main gross export.
You see, pretty good apprentice.
Really good.
Can't ruin shape for crap, but.
I put a little spell that made someone a mildly bit more happier
just the other day.
Okay.
Yeah.
So could it like a mint or, you know, just a snack.
The same effect is a snack.
But this one's a stone that you can't eat.
Calorie free!
Keep trying.
I know, boy.
The other things that you see are freezes and statues of what you remember your being on the ethereal plane looks like.
Of bergneous.
Of bergneous.
The first.
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Tight. And Busy's like looking at all of these statues.
And Busy looks over at, and I'm, I'm Sardieri. What was your name?
Godfriere.
Gottfrieda. And your family is also obviously from here.
Opelborn.
Opelborn. Cool. I know what that means.
That's the last name.
Opel born. Yep, yep, yep.
Thank you for providing.
We do things differently in here.
in Fitvetel.
Fantastic.
We have two names, a first name and a last name,
and if you're special enough, you get a number.
I have a number.
There's the first up there.
Yeah, what's, um.
I'm curious, just out of curiosity.
What do people think about the first?
I've heard some stories, but I'm not.
Greatly in awe.
It gets old.
Everybody wants to come up to me and talk to me.
I'm famous because the first was, you know,
the fatekeeper, the one in the settling.
In the settling.
The searing, sometimes we call it the settling here.
Yeah.
Because it didn't really flatten anything here.
All the gems, I presume, settled into place
after the searing shook the world.
It did seem as though after the searing,
as the lore goes, everything did settle into place.
Things just got better for us.
Yeah, untouched.
In fact, until recently, everything was quite peaceful.
what happened recently?
Oh, well, recently meaning hundreds of years.
Oh, okay.
It's just, we have a different definition of recent.
I imagine you folks use more of a geologic time scale down here.
Oh, because of the stones and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, speaking of recently of what's going on,
it does seem as though Barignis has a weird theory
that no one really believes, but I'm inclined to,
but it sounds mad.
Gaffreda, you think I should tell them about the theory?
Oh, should I not have told them?
Well, you did open your big mouth.
I keep things buttoned up.
I've told you this.
I am so sorry.
I don't think I belong here.
I know the feeling.
Keep it together, Gottfriede.
You do belong.
I'm a good boss.
What's your theory?
Well, hundreds of years ago.
The safety of the mind seems to be threatened more and more often.
that beings and creatures of evil and darkness
are moving towards the sanctity here.
That's the story the elders will have you believe anyway.
What I think is we've been cloistered in a bubble,
not letting enough people in.
I mean, of course, less powerful beings like yourselves.
Sure, walkway, right in the front door, have a tour.
We have tours by the hour, but...
Lesser beings. Gonna pocket that one.
Powerful beings.
have been kept out by the sphere of,
I call it isolation.
The elders put this out, and some of us,
right now me and Godfreda, are starting a revolution
to open the minds and the minds.
To bring back the...
Oh.
You just blew my mind.
Incredible message.
What a great message.
That's what we think.
We've been brainstorming, workshoping.
Well, every time we bring it up, they silence us.
So maybe it's true, maybe it isn't, but...
You know, I read about the Sundari and the fatekeepers.
Like, they're just my favorite stories.
I read this version and that version.
I draw little pictures.
I love the lore.
And it seems that back in the day,
the Fit Federal Delve was a haven of greatness.
And we had all kinds of beautiful beings
and of great power come in and out,
and they would almost like use the gems to challenge.
use the gyms to charge up and then leave.
And so there are just fewer and fewer visitors
of that caliber.
That's right, to power up these gyms.
I mean, I didn't want to say it,
but I think maybe a slight decrease in the gym power
these recently past 100 years.
And I think more powerful beings walking through these caverns.
Now that would be like leaving your courts in the moonlight,
you know?
And we are supposed to leave our courts in the moonlight
to recharge.
Just double-checked you.
Did like any moon, like a full moon?
Or?
This is for non-magical beings.
What they think.
This is the magical version of that.
So let me get this straight of a powerful being
walks in here.
It'll supercharge this place, or?
That's what we believe.
That's the working theory.
It's symbiotic, like it would recharge the being
and also fitter delve.
I mean, that makes sense to us.
It could be fitter and fetter.
And delver.
Yeah.
Much dope.
Ha!
And it would be a good thing.
That's how it was in the olden days.
Well, you guys sound trustworthy,
and it seems like it's a good thing
of a powerful being coming here.
It was really obvious
that we were probably going to resort to some sort
of skull-duggery,
some sort of like gutpowder situation,
but I think this time we'll have to, right?
Unless you want a rager, we can orchestrate that.
I don't, I feel that it's just fine
if we go and discuss with the council,
we might have a powerful being
that we would be able to arrange to bring in here.
We worked for what?
A really powerful one.
Like the most powerful one,
like the most powerful.
God Frita, they could be the ones.
We could just take them straight to the ritual room.
The feedkeeper's ritual room.
Look, don't tell anyone on the High Council
about any of this.
They've been calling us insane,
which is really bad around here.
We actually think that they've reinforced the isolation sphere.
So maybe we don't go to the High Council,
but the Fatekeeper's Ritual Room,
do you really think that's the source of all of this?
I do.
That's my true secret theory, the source.
Isn't that what you read about when you translated that abyssal?
I guess we've got to go to the Fate Keepers.
ritual room.
And just so, you know,
like it's probably fine and I don't think it happens anymore.
But occasionally, if I do this thing where, like,
my tongue comes out and, like, my eyes blank over,
I just have a migraine.
She's definitely not experiencing an out-of-body flashback
to a life that she wants to make.
Right.
In no way, she having a flashback.
In case that was your immediate assumption.
Yeah, don't assume that.
Just assume that, like, actually, my brain hurts.
So you're a wild card.
Yeah, yeah, I'm wild.
Unpredictable, Busy.
Like a lapis lazuli when you're expecting an emerald.
Speak in my language.
I would love to go to the ritual boom.
Just out of curiosity and Busy starts looking around.
Like, do you have any notes maybe you've taken
on any of this?
Scrolls and scrolls of them.
And you see, Barignis pulls out the neatest scrolls
you've ever seen, like a spreadsheet level,
quality handwritten notes.
Oh, this is the index.
This is just the index of what other scrolls
to find all of the information.
That's right.
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
Are you crying?
Please don't get your tears on the scroll.
I worked really hard on.
It's okay, there's no moisture in it.
They just seem like they're crying,
but it's not, it's magic, it's no moisture.
Busy very tightly rolls the scroll up,
ties a perfect bow.
I've been planning to laminate anyway.
Lamped.
I want to see the ritual room, is the ritual room
or as organized as this?
Everything in the whole delve is as organized as this.
I must go, I must go there.
Let's go, let's go to the ritual room right now.
So you do make your way to the ritual room
and the way there has been long abandoned.
They explained to you on the way
that no one has really accessed this,
maybe since 500 years ago,
since the searing and the settling.
And the ways through are completely,
abandoned, things start echoing. The silence of FitFeddel Dauvin their decorum is even more pronounced here
because there's just nothing going on. And you wind your way through...
Are there still gems like down here? Everywhere. Okay. Every wall has just gems stuck in them.
More like instead of stuck in them, they're actually left in there. So it's, they're carved, the walls and the
architecture is carved around these gems. And as Berignis takes you through this mandering,
Ant Hill like tunnel system, you come across this caved-in doorway, just lots of stones,
not gems that are blocking this area, and Gautfriede and Brignis go, well, it's beyond here,
but as you can see, it is blocked off. So.
It would be really violating. I wouldn't want to lie if someone asked if we did it.
Wait.
Oh, do you mean open this thing?
We can, uh.
Yeah, we'll just do it.
We can do it.
We'll take the blame.
Yeah, we're probably blast out.
We're just on a tour.
Yeah, we're on a tour and like, oops, Arcaden went off.
Oh no.
Any blast, you'll sweep up the dust afterwards, yes?
100%.
Oh, yeah, we are not gonna leave dust all around.
Ugh, ugh, disgusting.
Okay.
Seems so, all right?
I think we have to.
I think this is our time.
It's happening.
They bring out some explosives.
And he's excited about that.
I'm also excited about that.
It's of course measured to the exact amount
that they would need to get this opening blasted.
And they draw the fibrous line, gunpowder,
around a corner, light the match, it goes,
the stones do explode.
You see the dwarves themselves get very excited as they creep in.
And as you...
As you enter...
As you enter...
Just teahing the whole way.
As you enter this incredibly old sanctum,
you smell the smell of decay and rot, cobwebs, old, old, old earth.
You are stepping on stone tiles that are incredibly ornate.
Like each one of them was handcrafted to be identical to these other stone tiles that they're right next to.
Some of them are cracked.
In fact, many of them are, but the room feels vast.
It feels like it goes up 100 feet.
The radius of the room easily is 50 foot in diameter across to the other side.
There's no light, there's no natural light, but with dark vision, you are able to tell that within the center is a huge mound.
Just a big pile of something, dome-shaped, like a small hill of many different things, not just a big pile of something, dome-shaped, like a small hill of many different things, not just
gems, nothing's reflecting in that way.
Is it alive?
You can't tell, but you hear it smacking sound,
but it does sound like many are making that sound.
And as you get a little closer, this dome looks like it's actually is really,
really high, 15, 20 feet high, and almost as big a round.
As you get closer, you see it's hundreds upon hundreds,
maybe thousands of little flesh.
monsters about two or three feet across,
all of them piled onto each other,
each trying to get to the center.
As you look up, you actually see more
are along the walls.
As you walk in, one of them looks at you,
utters this wretched screech.
That's when hundreds of eyes clock you.
And at this gruesome sight,
that is where we will end this episode.
A Saugas of Sundry, Goblin Mode.
Thank you so much for tuning in and stay tuned
for next time when we might encounter a fiendish fight.
All right, Amy, roll 1,000 things of each other.
Since the searing and the settling.
Thank you for respecting local tradition.
Yeah, yeah.
That's gonna be what's called when I get married.
Oh, please, not that music.
That music gives me nightmares from my child.
Could we get something a little bit lighter, some lighter music here?
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