Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Heist of the Century | Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode | Episode 6

Episode Date: October 14, 2024

It’s the heist of the century as Bizzee, Tippy, and Fibs plan a daring raid on the Fiends United headquarters! Will their unconventional plan go off without a hitch? Or will the Terror Squad’s attempts to turn a kegger into a rager leave them high and dry? And just what exactly are Regular Monster Hours? Find out in the latest episode of Saga of Sundry: Goblin Mode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hi everyone, I'm Dan Casey. I'm playing Phibs, a skeleton who dabbles in wizardry. I'm Danielle Radford. I am playing busy, a skeleton who dabbles in bartery, bartery. Bartery. Barter. Dabtery.

Maybe. Hi, I'm Jason Wynne. I'm playing Tippy the Goblin with a gun. And he's an artificer. Side note. Awesome, and with that, I feel like there's nothing left to do except to part the veil of reality. Ooh.

And we are no longer on a set being stared at by many cameras and other people. What? Yeah, I see other people. No, no, no. We're not there. Where we actually are is the dawn of a new day just outside Nacbreka in a tiny encampment

with three other members of the marked and one old nemesis, Crandall P. Greckleworth, Crandall P. Greckleworth, who is nestled among you and snored the entire night and just made things generally uncomfortable. But it is dawn of a new day and your marked friends are moving around, hustling and bustling and getting ready

for the plans, and you all are just outside making your first move of the day. So your halfling friend, Dapper, goes, all right, we're all awake feeling good. Yeah, neck breaker rules. Neck break of rules. Neck break of rules. Dizzy's like stretching, which I guess for a skeleton

just looks like everything kind of comes apart for like a second before it pulls back in together. Oh wow, that is some chiropractic wizardry. Crack, crack. So, I think the first order of business, like you said, you were going to recruit the ogre from your auction. That's right. Yeah, of course.

Recruit the establishment to provide you more. We need at least four barrels of slog swash. Right, and a normal amount for a kegger would be two. So you do need the ogre's help. It's good, because it's just gonna be a kegger. It's got, we have to make them think that the people want a rager. Yeah. Okay, so I think that's the first sort of business.

Then once you've got him recruited, he and you, Tippy, and our friend Chab are all going to become the delivery people. Yes. Well, we should probably give him a window out of like 10 and 5. 10 and 5 is good. Yeah. Okay, it's 5 in the morning now. We should move that up then, like maybe between 5 and 10.

So immediately, as soon as they open their doors, I want to be there with the first delivery of SlogSwash, being like, hello, you ordered this, Fiends United. Did they not open until 10? The Fee's United. What time do they open? Why do they open? Look, I've been casing the joint for two weeks, so I know this.

Go on. And they hold regular monster hours. Okay, say no more. We hold on the slumontslai. You should have led with that. Regular monster hours. Of course. Monster hours.

Certainly not done. Well, we should immediately send somebody out to get the slog slash so we could dump it out or drink it and fill it with sweet, sweet, sweet, gunpowder, boom, boom, and juice. Do you need the ogre for that. Yeah, we're gonna need him to talk to the good people at Fiends United. But you, Tippy, you will be the one talking to... I'll be the first one in.

To Cordozo. Yes. At the drooling dretch. Did I get that right? Well, you send somebody, I'll get ready to disguise myself and then we'll rendezvous with the kegs already bought. What? Somebody should go by the slog swash so we could swap it out with gunpowder. I'm gonna deliver the first barrel of slog swash. They're normal delivery. They're normal delivery. I'll infiltrate. I'll get in there and I'll say, oh man, we only have enough slug swash for us. What if somebody wants a cagger? And then I'll roll in a second barrel.

And eventually, a random person, our auction ogre, is gonna come and be like, oh man, it looks like the town wants a rager, not a cagger. We're gonna need more barrels. Okay, got it. He's so confident with that guy. with that guy? Tipy is just gesturing with the gun the whole time.

Just, and then I'm gonna go here, there, yeah, right. Super unsamey, a dexterity saving throw. Oh God, no, all right, deck saving throw. Let's do DC12. Okay, all right, that's gonna be 17. 17, everyone's safe for now. Let's see, yeah, the gun goes off.

But it doesn't, no, Tippy's actually had a good night sleep, And he's making a lot of sense. And while this caking business is happening, our lovely bone companions will walk into the front door, business as usual, joining the Freen's Union as they've, you know, have a right to because they gave their fingers up. All right, so it sounds like you're all set,

you're gonna go and be the delivery guy. I'm sure they'll just appreciate the volunteer worker. We'll see how that goes. And then the only other thing is, sounds like you might know the ogre that you might convince him. Yeah, I think I'm. I can convince him.

I don't know why Busy is confident. She doesn't have the gun, but. It's in fantasy. It's contagious. Yeah, I think I can convince an ok. Right, I'm gonna go hunker down and get by the airship and look for the signal that Pecara is gonna give me once, we're all set.

There's just a small matter of one, who's getting the two stones that can communicate between each other and Pecora. I think that we'll share one stone. Fibbs and Busy will take one, and then we'll have Tippy, take the other stone. I'll have the other stone. I'm gonna also need some gold in case we do need

to bribe the ogre and apparently, that's right, that was part of the plan. Or dungeon dollars since Crandall's here. Oh, we're not familiar with dungeon dollars. Oh, it's like gold but better. Way better. Yeah, it's way better. All right, we'll have to look into that

for our spoils, but we don't have that right now. House, a Pekara, 50 gold. Okay, great. Try not to spend all of that. How can I spend, yeah. We'll try. Yeah. Wank.

And you also might need, for persuading money, I don't need any of that. I just, I don't need that. All right, yep. Great. Yeah, we'll give you 800 cop. Yeah, sounds good. If you're that confident, then off you go.

And what we do is, we're gonna cut into a couple of scenes, a few things are gonna happen, who knows, but another thing that I'm gonna say for today is that we haven't really been using inspiration. I think at one point I gave you, Jason, one inspiration, but what I'm gonna do is give each of you, because you've been playing so well, something that I'm gonna call mega inspiration.

And what that means, once per, for this whole sequence, to have something go very right for you. This is not gonna be something normal like, oh, you succeed on a role that you're trying to make, but it would be something more like if you're trying to persuade someone to, well, I'm going to use a different example so I don't give you any ideas, but if you're trying to, like, lie to your evil overlord that you actually were working and weren't, and you just definitely were not, what the inspiration or the mega inspiration might do would be like, oh, but the job

did get done, like the stones did get moved to the correct pile, and you have like a guy in the dungeon who just like looks up to you really a lot. You have this kind of person who... It's a true story. I did that for Tippy once. Yeah, this guy... It just looks up to you. So you have this story point.

Ideally, it's narrative or cinematic-based. But we'll get to that when the time comes. This can be used on top of failures, but it's not going to negate Diroil failures. Ideally, it's something that just moves a story forward in a really nice, big, cinematic way. Cool. Amazing. So we have mega inspiration in play. Each one of you has one of them to use, per this and this.

per this entire sequence. So with Meg inspiration in play, now we're gonna go to busy finding the ogre virg, the auctioneer at his campsite that is not too far away from where you are. As you were going to rest for the night with the marks, you have asked about this ogre, they were able to point you in the right direction.

They've been camped out for a few weeks now, so you approached this campsite. There's no tent, there's no, There's nothing. That's just some fire and a stone for a pillow and Verge alone hanging out. A sleep still. Still asleep?

So Busy just kind of walks up, puts one hand like kind of up on her head. And then her head like accidentally like comes off. She's like grab it, put it back on like, and like one hand on her hip and starts doing, I guess that thing that you see a lot of like female characters and old like 20s movies do where they kind of like, Betty Boobo. A little Betty Boobie. Little Betty booping.

You can hear like the bones kind of like crack, crack a lot, maybe a little bit. Okay. Hello, good morning. Okay, performance type. Yeah, that's fair. Well, that is a. And immediately the mega inspiration, Jancy is.

It's a critical, that is a, yeah, nope, so that is a, that is a, that one. So that is a two, a two. Imagine waking up. It's horrifying, really. Ah, knock-brack our rules! Stop trying to, are you trying to hit me? Are you trying to attack?

No, no. You are, you're the woman who didn't get, you didn't get enough things, did you? You kept wanting things. I didn't get the thing I wanted. What? What? What?

You hear the descending stone. Good thing. Okay, well I sold almost everything. Was there one thing in pretrial? You're very frightening to me. Oh my God, thank you. You know, I worked like really, really hard on looking really, really, really scary.

I actually have a job for you now that the options over. Wait, what was the thing you wanted? Oh, more, more of your time and company. and I'll pay you for it. Wait. Okay, okay. Just straight up charisma roll. The oldest profession, being an auctioneer.

Just straight up... Yeah, do charisma? Use your Christmas bonus. No, you're not proficient. No, I'm not proficient. Because I have no bonus on charisma. So that's just a straight ten. A straight ten. My time and company is not for sale.

Oh, it's a job, but also we'd get to hang out a lot. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak. I know what's going on here. Do you? I told you you were a beautiful skeleton. Yes. And you are, and I'm also so not interested. I couldn't be less interested.

Busy? Doesn't know what that means anyway. You're not. for me, okay? I just woke up, and this is so aggressive. Oh, well, that, I, that's, that's fine. I didn't, I was actually, I was asking for a job anyway. Oh, just a job, yeah.

Hang out with you, no, no, not my, ogre, no, no, you're too, okay. Okay, funny, eh, ugh, um, I, I, since you're not doing the auction anymore, I have, because you are so good at talking, you know, you can just talk anyone into believing anything. Apparently, you are so good at tricking people and making them think things, that I have a job for you where you would be able to use your fantastic ability to pull the wool over people's eyes for good. I'm listening. I've always fancied myself a bit on the charlatan route.

Yes, and I agree with you. So we are planning something really fun for the Fiends Union. I don't like them. We don't like them either. It's against the Fiends Union. So what we need, and this will be really easy, is you just come in, say, hey, hey, are you planning a kegger? We want a ranger. But making your own.

It's just really important that you make it clear that the amount of party is inadequate and you require more party. Yes, this sounds like something I could do, but I do want to be very clear that you said, this could be very easy and I do not like it when people hire me for a job and tell me exactly the level of difficulty

they expect it to be, because you wouldn't become to me if it was easy. You're looking for someone with skill, with talent. Yes, I am looking for someone who is very skilled and very talented at deception and chicanery. I think I could pull that off now. Do you want this to happen at the Fiends United? Yes.

And you want me to seem as if I'm part of the Fiends United? Either you're part of it or you were invited to an open house of some kind. But yes, whatever best informed, you're in form of the Fiends United. The best informs, God, actors, your character. So if it informs your character that you are part of the Fiends United, that's fantastic.

If you think this would be easier for you, if you pretended that you were there for a Fiends United Open House so that you were interested in joining. God, and the party is for this evening or? The party is between five and 10. In the morning. A.m.

So we're, yeah. You hear over the sending stone. I'm talking to Tippy's chest. Oh, hey, this thing's on just so you know, that's, I'm talking, those are like the delivery hours, the party can be later. Oh, the party will be later. Yes, so it'll be,

Monster hours. Regular monster hours, yes. I don't work for tips. I mean, I don't work for free, but I do accept tips. Okay, I will give you tips. In fact, you know, I'm, I am so confident of how great you will be

that I will pay half now and then half when the job is over. Half of what? Well, do you take dungeon dollars? No. Then gold. Okay. And I am prepared to offer you 10 gold now and 10 gold when we are finished. And you'll leave me alone about the auction items.

What? That didn't, I didn't say that. I never said. No, you're going to keep on me about that? I just, do you have the shirt? Where's the shirt? I did auction that for way more than five gold pieces, or five copper pieces.

Well, what else do you have that is unzogues? Do you have any kind of other? I have a walled sconce. Did he touch it? I don't know. Can I spell it? Okay, so he agrees to that, maybe, but we cut away to Tippy.

Yeah, you're heading to the drooling dretch. I'm heading to the drooling dredge. And who am I with? Am I with? You're with the dwarf, Chab. So, Chab, you understand this could be quite dangerous. I'm all right with that. If anything happens to me, could you just give a message for me?

To Pecora? What? Just say, hey, man, what should I say? Hey, girl. No. Hey, Pecora, hey, hey, Paci, hey, hey, Pecora, you're cute. That's it, that's all I got. If I die.

Right, if you die, you wanted to know that you thought she was cute. Yeah, I do. On this dangerous mission to acquire slog swash. Well, yeah, I mean, everything's, whatever, don't patronize me. I'm just saying, it's all right, my little buddy. Okay, her who picks you up and, like, wraps you up and, like, wraps you. your forehead. Oh, little goblin's got a govlin crush.

I'm just saying, if it were me, I would never let my gun get exploded, so, you know, anyways. Oh, wow. Well, let's go to the tavern. Figure this out. Okay, okay. We walk to the tavern. So you, the tavern's pretty,

it's closed at the moment. Monster Hour is applied at this tavern as well. I did not think that we could possibly have. You are able to get in, it just doesn't seem like there's anything going on. Now, if you... It's not like locked. No, it's not locked.

You also have a key to a room. That's right. Yeah. So I kind of peek at like, like I peek in. You see the open floor as it was before and your friend, the whereboar, is asleep in a corner on one of the benches. There are some other people in various states of just last night that are kind of passed out. But beyond that, you don't see Cordoso. I don't see Cordozo.

I see the whereboar though. Yeah, you see the whereboar. Yeah, you see a couple of other. weird characters, but they're all in sleeping mode. I stand over the wear boar, and I look down and I go, not so, not so strong now, are you? And I, Tippy puts his hand on his holster, and he goes, no, no, what am I doing?

And I tap the wear bore on the shoulder. Okay, like, ding, ding, ding. Oh, oh, it's... Hey, oh, hi. Morning. Who's it? Morning, like, like, break the rules. Do I need to do anything?

No, are you in trouble? Is the tavern in trouble? No, I was just wondering, um, is the froggy guy here? Cordozzo. Cordoso, yes. Where's Cordozo? We want to talk to him. Hey, he's, uh, taking a nap.

He's just asleep. What, can you, can we wake him up? What's up with that? Well, it depends on how important what you got to see is. Life and death. What? That's right. I'm gonna need a little bit more information.

Listen, what if I told you you're about to make the most money you've ever made on your slog swash? I think Cordoza would love to hear that. All right, well, go wake him up. Okay, persuasion. You're gonna. It's like your safety blaine. You're a whoopee.

He's totally different. No. No. A five. And he goes, I don't think that's a good enough explanation. I like the idea of making a lot of money for the slug swash, but you're gonna have to do better than that. Fine, fine, fine. How do you feel about the fiends united?

They're all right. Oh, you like him? No, I mean, I don't hate that. They're patrons of our... of our establishment. They're about as rampant and rowdy as the rest of you. Okay, I wanna roll deception and I wanna go, what have I told you, I heard somebody at the Fiends United

was making out with your girlfriend. Oh, please. Okay, yeah, persuasion or deception. Oh boy. Come on, oh no, two. Well, I'd say that Marendra would never see herself near Nak Breka. That's why I haven't seen her in as long as I have.

All right, I'm gonna drop, I'm gonna drop it. I'm dropping, dropping the act. I need your slog swash, because I need it for a very important mission. And that mission is life and death to me. And if, if you don't wanna help me, that's fine. No, it's not that I don't want to help you. Our slog swash is available.

Well, I'm just trying to buy some slog swash Why are you being cage? You're being cagey about it. You needed it. You didn't say you anything about it. It said it was life and death and then you were that. No, it seemed like you watching it for free. Why do you need it to?

No, you said, I don't understand how our slog swash could be a version of life and death, but what you said was you needed it. I need four barrels. Well, then just say that. Okay, I'm sorry. It's a purchase. I'm sorry. Have you ever purchased anything in your life?

Honestly, no. I have a dungeon dollars. I tell you the rate of it. Okay. Okay. Well, can I have some slog swash, please. Slog, swash, please. Four barrels? Four barrels? Yeah.

What does this have to do with the Fiends United? Well, you brought it up. Okay, we want to throw kegger that potentially turns into a razor. That's it. And if I overheard correctly, you were just getting recruited to it last night. And already you're planning parties? Yeah, I mean, that's like... Rock on, brother!

Oh, yeah! Rock on! Tippy wipes the beaded sweat on his forehead. God. Whoa! That's amazing. That's really chill of you. Yeah, I'm chill like that.

Uh. It's hard for it! Ah! Alright, we can cook it up. We can cook it up. Sounds like you need it quickly. Yes, we need it. We need it right away.

Because if I don't get it, oh, it's gonna be not a kegger and everybody's gonna be upset. Okay, I might need to talk to Cordo. You might need to pay a top dollar for it too, because that's gonna, that's dipping into the slog swash allotment we have for tonight as well here at the drooling judge. Well, how much? I would say it is seven gold pieces per barrel,

28 gold pieces. Seven gold pieces. Tippy checks his body, realizes he said no to the gold and goes to the dwarf. Well, pay him. Pay him, go ahead. Seven gold, you heard him, seven gold pieces. Yeah, I also, I don't have any money.

Sorry. What? He says, why would you go on this mission with me and not bring any gold? Who does that? Well, you don't have any money. I don't know. I thought you were gonna be the one in charge.

That's what, be in charge? That's what Dapper was talking all about, that you guys had all of the plans. I turn back to the worry board. Listen, we're good for the money. Can I put five gold pieces down now, and we'll put it on our tab. One of us didn't bring the gold with us.

It seems like both of... One of us. It's... And he goes, right. I'm gonna accept that because I really like the idea of a party. I like how fast you guys did it. Show me those five gold pieces and I'll say, I'm good for it. Also, as long as I can get an invite to the absolute rage

or you're throwing. Oh, you wanna go? Just you though? Because no plus ones. No, I don't have anyone. Okay, great. Well, yeah, you're invited. Yeah, just make sure you stay once you're there.

Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I don't know why I'd leave a very good party. Yeah. And when the airship comes, that's like a sign that it's about to even get crazier. No. Uh-huh.

Oh, I can't wait to tell everyone. No. Don't tell everyone. Why? I said no plus ones. How about this? I'll just talk about it amongst the Fiends United that airship's going to fly by. No, don't do that.

They're doing it. Because it's supposed to be like a surprise. It's kind of like- Well, you just ruined the surprise for me! Well, okay, I thought we were buddies, so I was kind of letting you in on something. Well, how about this? Why don't you come and then just like hang out?

Do you have like a special talent or like a skill? I can turn it into a wear bore. Why don't we do that? We're having a talent contest and we'll have it there. I don't know, that sounds so cheesy. At a rager, you're gonna do a talent show. Yeah, but it's gonna be cool. It's good, you know.

It'll be a cool version. Gosh, you're a weird one. All right, you can sign me up. I'll be a contestant number one. Oh, perfect. Number one. Perfect. Great.

So five gold pieces, thank you. I hand them over. Yeah, these should be ready. If I get going now, which I'm very motivated to do. I could have these ready in another two, three hours. Can we expedite at all? Well, how about this? Can I get one?

Can I get one for now? Yeah. Just like. Right. Yeah, two are already ready. Oh yeah, I'll take two for now. And then an ogre is gonna come by and grab the other two. You hear, over here, messaging stone.

Sorry, you lift this thing on. I'm with busy now somehow. I think you were gonna give it to Jab. He was gonna do it the second door. That's right. I gotta go. Well, my door friend over here, he's gonna grab the other two when they're ready.

I'll take the first two now. All right, can't wait. And what time is the party start? I'll get lost to the sauce. I couldn't remember. How you're doing great. Okay, cool. Talent show's a great idea.

And what time is the party just for me to go? It's at monster hours. Monster hours. Regular monster hours. That's what it was. Got it. We all know what that means. We all know what that means, right?

All right. Really quickly, we're just gonna cut back to busy. You're looking through a canvas sack that the ogre just let you look through real quick. You are able to find Eunzug's wall scantz. Some gemstones, some bed sheets. Unszg's bed sheets. Yeah, Eunzig's bed sheets.

What did I say? So, yeah, so busy as it's gonna take all of it. Oh, wait, you don't just get to take this. This was part of the auction. Okay, well, so then can I just have like one or two of the jewels and have the bed sheet? I mean, for money. I will give you two gold pieces.

Per item. Sure. Great. So there's those, and then here's your first half of the payment, and then you'll get the other half when you complete your task successfully. Huh, I am ready. As you are going through these jewels,

you actually experience a feeling that draws you all the way back and your eyes roll back in your head and you are rigid once more as you experience a flashback. I was waiting for you. Specifically it was a gemstone that was large in red, but not a ruby. It's about the size of your fist. And as you go back in time to your experience,

you're actually in an argument with someone you love, a being who is of the race of yourself. This is pretty clearly a dwarf. And the argument is about the source from your last vision, that essence of light that was behind you that you might have been communing with. And you are fighting for that. You believe in that source that was giving you answers.

It was providing the answers that you were writing down. and the other person is calling you obsessed, giving you a vibe that you might be mind-controlled. You adamantly disagree with this, you were doing this of your own free will, and you feel the presence of others. They are your children. They are blurry in the background,

but there are at least two of them. There could be upwards of five, but in the dream it's really hard to tell. And your partner points to himself angrily, and as he jabs you right in the insignia that you wear is when he's, snap back, but as you glance down, you see the insignia before you wake up and it is an eye on fire with a halo above it.

What is wrong? Um, wow. Busy like puts out a hand to like steady herself and then just like drops her arm so the hand is still there while she's like trying to balance. Yeah, I need that. Yeah, yeah, definitely this this big red one and now Busy's kind of a afraid to like stare too hard in it and like puts it up. I'm okay.

You were getting into character and it just really drew me in. I'll take that as a compliment. Yes, you were so good that I was transported to another place and time. Thanks. I'll see you later. I'll be at The Fiends United. Just give me about an hour to prepare. Fantastic.

Busy, her hand snaps back on her wrist. She uses it to salute, like independent. from her arm and then I will see you in a couple of hours and walks off. Okay. So you have secured the slog swash. You've secured the party insider and we're going to Fibs now and Fibs, you and Bizzy are going to approach Fiends United. It's early morning and you're approaching this Tudor-style manner from the direction of NACBrekka. So this is going west. You do notice it's very stately. It's not something that the Fiends United built per se, it's like, it looks like something that maybe

that could have housed a mayor or a town hall or both. There are statues of old monsters as you walk down, just the pathway of four of them, two on each side. Wow, not much of a patio, but it's pretty stately. Also just looks like it would explode very easily. It's very, extremely flammable. Like these really explodey parts, like there, and there's probably like one there.

Those windows are just gonna be, don't stay near those. Don't get no, no, no, no. It's sharp. Lots of sharps. Dangerous stuff. Yeah. But we're on a dangerous mission. They don't know that.

Okay, so you approach the door. It seems pretty quiet inside at the moment. I wish I had a watch, because then I could tell if it was regular monster hours, or what, but they did tell us a little after daybreak, maybe like daybreak 30. Yeah, so this is it got like a quarter after daybreak? Yeah.

Is the door like open? Can we just walk in or should we knock? It is not open. Yeah, I'm gonna cast press to digitation to make a loud knocking sound at the front door. Okay, okay. You do that, you hear from within. We have an appointment.

We have an appointment. And you see this gloopy, like. You talk in cursive. This hand, he opens the door and you just see it's almost like a melty gob and in his eyes are melty and his mouth is melting down his being, which almost just looks like a large finger. And everything about him is dripping,

and it's dripping ectoplasm. And this, you know, is lemur. It is like the vapid shell of a soul on the material plane. Really just, yeah. You're one of those like melting candle of a man types. I'm naughty. Well, I'm nice.

No, no. Norty. Norty. Norty. Norty. Norty. Norty. And then he gets pushed out of the way as your friend, Palatius, like just blinking, waking up, going,

oh, well, y'all, this is so good of you to come so early and right on time, really. Get out of here, Norty. Damn. Bye, Norty, thank you for your help. I thought they liked Fingers. No, he was about to take credit for recruiting you. It's not fair.

Oh, I see. So where's the third one of you? I got three. fingers. We got all that settled. He doesn't really keep regular monster hours, or maybe we keep irregular monster hours. Okay. He's going to be here a little later.

You know, he felt bad about how this whole thing went down. Because I did. You did promise me three recruitments, and so... What is a finger, if not a promise, deferred? That's the logic we use as well. Oh, thank goodness. Well, why don't you come in? We'd love to get you all signed up. We really just need you to

touch a document, and we'll take some of your essence and that'll be that. You'll be good to go. Some of my what? Just your essence. You just send some essence away. Well, he, yeah, he's a bit, he's funny. He's nothing to worry about. You could step on in and squash him. What? What? That is pretty fiendish. Oh, well, that's us over here. Look, we know that a lot of times people just know that they're about to get killed at any second by galenling, so we try to bring a little levity to that. But yeah, seriously, nor is a pill. So if you accidentally step on him,

none of us would really care. I like that you treat the people under your employ with zero regard. I think that's- Oh, thank you for that. Fun. Oh, good, good. I mean, after all, we're all equal here.

So we can step on you? You could sure try. Okay. I mean, I'm an error elemental. I try to step on. You try to step on. You try to step. Yeah.

Okay, you. Just like on Palacius's foot. It goes right through it. I mean, he's an air element. So he's basically made up a fog and like even the eyes and themselves look like just a lack of fog as opposed to Palacius, I'll be the first to admit I forgot you were made of fog. Yeah. Well, that's okay. Use your eyes next time.

Okay. So come on in. We'll give you a little tour. So this is the main room and to the left you see an opening that might lead to a hallway and through the hallway or some doors. But he says, that's just some bunk, bunk rooms. and then out here as you can see is the main... Greetings adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles, and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash critical roll for free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash critical roll. And you just see a ton of monsters hanging out, some are eating, some are just doing a whole lot of nothing. Like this is their rec room. Straight ahead, you see stairs that lead up, and if you peek around, you actually see stairs that lead down as well. Roll up perception check, both of you.

17. 11. Phibs, you notice these kind of big, long banquet like picnic tables with dishes and slogs, swash and slogs water hanging out on it, but the rest of the monsters aren't really stirring. Some of them are just in a stasis. And as you look to your right

and further back in this larger room, you actually see what looks like a trap door. So it's in the main room? Yeah, so as you look ahead, you see stairs. To the left is a hallway with some doors. To the right is a big open area that feels like feeding a kitchen, dining, and a rec room all at once.

And the trap door, you just glimpsed it as like a monster walks past is to the right at the front of the house. And we're just kind of hanging out here for a second, right? Yes. So busy walks over to one of the walls, and like puts her arm up on it and just like starts like leaning on it.

And while she's doing that, her left hand separates from her arm, goes into her bag, grabs one of the mirrors, lifts it up into her right hand, which is like on that arm that's being perched up, and like she tries to like casually, non-solantly stick that mirror on the wall. Do I clock what she's doing?

Do you want him to? Are you, I mean, yeah, he knows that that's a plan. Okay, yeah. Then while this is happening, Phibbs is going to reach out to Palacius and ask, how many people live here at the headquarters? I'm very curious because I've seen so many Fiendish Union members. I'd love to know more. Perfect.

So he's going to answer you, but first, will you roll a sleight of hand with advantage? All right, so that is a 13 for my sleight of hand. Okay, 13. Yeah, you were able to do that without anyone really noticing, especially not Palatius. And so he says, well, you know, like, I would say about 10 on any given day or living here. Oh, wow. Hermanently, I would say, but upwards of 50. 50?

Yeah, I think we have here now. I mean, it's either this or out in a campside, and a lot of people feel a little safer indoors, or a lot of people are coming from dungeons that we have acquired. And so... I always feel, like, more at home when I am in, like, a more dank, enclosed environment, like a basement. Do you guys have something like that? Well, of course we have a basement. Okay, but let's go upstairs.

Oh, okay. That is where Kaya is. Oh, good. I was wondering if Kaya was home. Yeah, Kaya is home. She's asleep, but I would like to take you into the recruitment office, and, like I said, take some of your essence and get you all squared away. Well, if you have a pamphlet in that office, I'd love to peruse that first.

Come look at the pamphlet. I like to know what I'm signing up for. Oh, you're going to need a little bit more selling. I don't just scroll to the end of a document and just sign anything without reading all of the terms and conditions. Okay, well, you're just gonna take a little bit more convincing, aren't you?

So let's get upstairs, and as you go upstairs, you actually see only two doors to the left. They seem like main bedrooms, and then to the right is just one big open bullpen with a closed-off office again at the front of the house. Oh, I can't wait to go in there.

Y'all go ahead and go in first. I just have to, I've got to handle some skeleton business really quickly. Just gonna stretch your bones. She's gonna stretch my bones. One got dislocated. Yeah. We got roughed up in an alley.

You would feel free to do that in front of me. I've seen all kinds of stuff. You don't wanna see this, trust me. Yeah, it's really gnarly. I'm a skeleton, even I think it's gross. If I had substance in my stomach, I would hurl. I would vomit, I would yak, I would Ralph.

I would even trow up. Oh, well. Just take a second if y'all want to go ahead and go inside. You're not quite members yet, so we can't. Oh, I'm just gonna hang out in the hall. I'll just do it right here. Oh, okay. I don't need to go anywhere.

I'm just gonna do it right here in this big space where you all go in the office. Okay, how much time do you need? Just like a minute, just a little stretchy stretchy stretch. Roll persuasion. Why do I keep picking the ones that I don't have bonus for? So that is a six. Okay, you're gonna do that in front of me here in the bullpen. here in the bullpen, all right?

Okay, great. That sounds perfect, and I can't wait for you to see my gross surprise. As she starts to do it, I'm going to take a step back and surreptitiously try to cast minor illusion to make it look like just marrow and spiders are spilling out of her. Okay, okay, perfect. So yeah, you'd start popping your bones,

and there's bile, there's liquid that came out of nowhere that's squeezing out of all of your bones. There are little bugs and cockroaches just going all around you. Palaceus is looking on in out. absolute horror. Let's unlock anything I've ever seen before. Remember, I'm made out of fog, that's disgusting. He can't take his eyes off of her.

Please don't watch my shame. Dan, I will say that you have some mirrors as well. Then while that's happening, I'm going to reach up and put one on the wall. Yeah, no problem. Real quick though, a side of hand with advantage. Okay. That is a 12.

DC 12, yes. Oh, thank goodness. So you're able to put a mirror up on that wall, And it's gonna be just outside of the recruitment bullpen, but you're able to see within it as well. But he's like, oh, oh, no, how, how? And you're just seeping out, and it's like seeping through the cracks and dripping down.

Very realistic. And he says, are you quite done? Yeah, I'm done. Yeah, that, oh, oh, there's nothing like a good stretch. I'm not gonna ask where any of that came from. The bones. Just the bones. Just the bones.

Yeah. While that's happening, I dropped the illusion. So when Palacius turns to me, he were to look back, it's just, looks like it seeped into the floor. Okay, well, they're gonna be, they're gonna be experiencing that down below. All right guys, let's come on in here. That's why you shouldn't have cockpit in a place like this.

So he brings you to the recruitment room, get you set up at a table, and he brings out two tablets that are made of stone that just have some runes on them. And he says, so this is just where we would be taking your essence. As far as a pamphlet, there's not, There's not much of one I can give you, but go ahead and roll an Arcana check. Both of us?

Yeah, both of you. Got a 14. 14? 11. I mean, both of you can sense that these are bits of magic items. They seem, especially for you, the wizard, not very powerful at all.

Gotcha. I don't know that you've seen anything like this in Eun-Zug's lair, but you would know it's gonna take maybe a thumbprint. Okay. Yeah. So if you could just put your little fingies on this.

Well, kind of missing one. I would love to use that if I can. It's my signing finger that I gave you. Yeah, yeah, I'll just get those. I'll just get those for you here. I don't know it was like a down payment. Yeah, you know, we keep the fingers, we keep the fingers in the.

In perpetuity? No, no. In the basement. Ah. So I think I'm gonna, I'll just go and get them, okay? Oh, you know, we would love to come with you and just go down and see the basement. That can maybe.

We don't wanna be left alone in places we're not supposed to be. Yeah, well we don't let people in the basement. And I would like to try something. Okay. I would like to, I, Phibbs kind of like nonchalantly reaches into one of his pouches and pulls out a like little dab of, there's like, he has some powder in his hands,

it's like blush, and he like picks it up and blows it and then cast friends. Oh. Okay. As it's happening, I'm like, Palacius, come on, we're all friends here. Ooh. You can show us.

And so I make- We're gonna join. I make a charisma saving throw? Yes, I believe it's a charisma saving throw DC13. Okay, plus zero, a 17. So eventually we will be friends here. Sorry. It's okay, I'll just leave you, you too.

It's a tradition, it's friendship powder, but I'll get some more for later. With that one, am I, do I realize that you've done that? It says when the spell ends, the creature realizes I tried to use magic. Okay, okay, so. I'll leave this to your discretion. Yeah, yeah, I'll say that he's like,

wow, we're razzled. We bring that to skeleton flayette, everything we do. It's a little bit of glitter, you know. Sure, I see. We think of ourselves as fun dead. Pazoo. Oh, very fun. Well, it'll be nice for you to earn my trust and vice versa.

I love earning trust. Perfect. So he does leave, he goes downstairs. We're gonna move back to Tippy over here. Just real quick, as he does that, I'm gonna put one in the recruiting office. Okay, since we're here. Like, definitely above the door frame,

facing in towards the office itself. Yeah, perfect. Okay, so you've got the bullpen all covered. You can also see for sure the entrance, the door into Aces office that's closer to the front of the house. Cool. Tipi, you are coming to collect the slog swash with Chab. With Chab. Yes.

Your dwarf friend, the other dwarf friend, sorry, Vadoul. Vadul is the wearbore. Okay, I was like, Vadool. We never named after his name. We never named him. on his girlfriend. Okay, okay. Okay, so that dual.

You already took two. I took two. Okay, so where are you going with the two? So I want to head straight to the friends, sorry, fiends union. Okay, so while they're doing that, you and... So before I leave, I go to Chab, Chab, it's very important that you don't bring

the other two in until the ogre has convinced them that the kegher turns into a rager, very important. I understand. It's not gonna happen. I'm gonna wait until the ogre says this party is horrible, and then he wants a rager, and that's when I'll run back and go get the other ones. Just have them on, like, nearby.

Like, have them ready to go. Like, immediately when it's like rager time, you just roll them in. Okay, and when you were picking those up, you had mentioned before that you would pretend to be a delivery guy. Yes, so in this time, I'm assuming some time is happening. And I want to empty out the slog swash,

and fill it with gunpowder. Okay, with Piccar's help. Yeah, with Piccar's help. What I'll say is, the barrels of gunpowder are like this big. They're like a basketball size. Okay, okay. And the barrels of slog to wash are like a keg.

So maybe I can put. Yeah, you could put them in there. You could hide them even if someone were to like, yeah, pop the top off. Yeah, so I empty them out anyways, because I imagine wet gunpowder wouldn't work. Perfect, right. Yeah, great.

So it's just like a smaller, like a barrel in the barrel. Yeah, and I'll say Picara helps you with the weight of it, like adds some extra metal in there to make the weight. Perfect. Shrapnel. Yeah, shrapnel. And all I want to do with Pecor is just

as we're filling the things up and messing around with the barrels, I just want to be like, if you don't hear from me again, you might just get a message from Drabb. It's all about to say. Because it could be my last night on this planet. Oh? Yeah, I don't know.

I know. That's horrible. Oh, what? No, no. We're planning on succeeding, you know? Yeah, no, I know. Oh, okay. Okay, all right. Well, I'm gonna do everything in your can to get all of everyone out alive.

We're still alone in the room, in the office, right? Yeah. Yeah, it does busy turns on her comms. Oh, yeah. Hey, hey, hey. Sorry, Pecora. But we're gonna say, no. You can start off.

I can hear. Through the orb? Uh, Pecorac, you let us cyber. Hold it away from your head. Okay, can we do? Okay, she puts a cloth on her or her or. It's very rude to eavesdrop. What? I'm like in the groove over here.

Yeah. Tell Bricora that everything that you do today you do for her and that her eyes are the best round, squishy. Tell her she is very squishy. Okay, yeah, okay, okay. And then tell her that you're going to succeed and that you're going to win the day for Bikora and I don't know for like Goblin Kind or whatever. Tippy is getting sweatier and sweatier and just more anxious because it's so much. Whatever you do, don't sweat. Oh, okay, well that's too late. It's too late.

You said, you should lead with don't sweat because I'm sweating so much. Or maybe, I think people, they ask them out to like parties and stuff, maybe invited to the rage at. Okay, okay, okay, I think she's starting to think the sidebar's weird, so I'm gonna- Okay, good luck, all right.

Hey, Piccarra. I wanna squish your eyes. Oh no, oh no, oh no. That's not what I meant. Your eyes, okay, your eyes, look so squishable to a goblin like me. Oh man, nope. If I were to live,

if I were to survive just one more night, I would want to squish your eyes consensually, and I would want you to squish my eyes. And together maybe we could squish eyes. Why? Oh, no. I'm going to throw up. Two.

I'm going to throw up. You're, you're, you're, you're very, you're switching your eyes. Can you turn off your comments and it sounds pretty gross over there. I'm not, I'm not. I have to go. We're not done yet. Okay, as soon as you're done, I'm gonna leave. Okay, you just get out of here.

The thing is, if you literally mean squishing my eyes, I'm gonna have to turn down that. No, no, I don't mean squishing your eyes. I mean poetically. Oh, you just want to squish. Yes. Yes? Okay, get out of here, you, you silly, naughty boy. Okay, okay, I will.

Okay, good, I don't you, shut up. Shut up, right, run away. She finished setting up the two barrels with the gunpowder inside and wheels them out, and as she does, she like licks her tongue and puts it in your ear and goes, wee! Okay, it's starting to not, I feel like that wasn't romantic.

It was silly. Look at us being all goofy together. Yeah, like I fell into some weird zone. I can't... Hell, what zone I fell into. But I can't feel it in my soul. Oh, you, that's so great. Just look at us laughing together. Two goblins, having a gaff. Just laughing a gaff.

Together. All right, you go have your kegger. Whatever. This is so fun. And don't die. I know that was a joke. I'm not going to die. I'm going to live through this. Because he is.

I'm gonna, you know what, whenever tab gets back, I'm gonna ask him what the, what the message was. I'm gonna stay alive because of you. Because of you, I'm gonna make it through this. You'll be my strength that I draw from. All right, I'm ready to go. Okay, okay, with that, yeah, she just goes blank face and you're able to run it up

to the Fiends United with the barrels of slagswash. And as I'm like, right on the edge in the distance, like, I'm not even sure she can really see me that well, I go, Picara, check it out. And I cast disguised self on myself to disguise myself as a delivery person, but the disguised self,

I want to be clear that all I'm doing is turning tippy skin from green to red. And that's no other change. Absolutely it. No other change. No other change. Do you still have your massive pack on your back? Massive pack on my back,

but I look, like, if there's anything that discerns a delivery man, Okay. That's what I also look like. Okay. Yeah, you would know just from the encounters you've had at the drooling dredch and also that Vadul was so excited about the party, he would tell you that, yeah, the drooling dredge, almost goblin-like, but like, yeah, drooling, has a little sign and, yeah, you're wearing

a bit of a shirt, a drooling dredge shirt. I'm wearing a dueling dred shirt, and also to be clear, my open carry is now a concealed carry. Okay, perfect. Okay, very clear. So I'm making my way to the beans. Yeah, okay, so this little red goblin, the massive pack is also wheeling two big barrels of slog swash, or so it seems up to the-

Squish, really, squished together. Just like talking to the door, sure. As you get there, actually you're able to knock on the door and you get the same greeting, oh, who are you? Delivery, oh no, you should probably, howdy, delivery. Delivery.

And you guys hear your friend's voice. Yeah. Down below. And oh, delivery. Oh, for. Drilling, the Drill and Dretch. Drilling Dretch. Yes, we do, Neiths.

Beryl Slog Swash. Oh, fun. And Norty opens the door again. Oh, our deliver, why don't you come on in here and set it down into the big room? High monster I know that I delivered to. Where do you want the slug swash? Wait a second when you see that.

And it made me think maybe I haven't seen you Oh yeah. What's your name? My name is Rippy. Rippy, Rippie, the red goblin. Rippie the roblin. I'm a goblin that's red. God, well we do have two orders of slugswash. Yes, I have them here to deliver upon this very house. And let's see, will you roll a deception check? Oh, not 20!

Yay! Yeah! Whoa, go, Ricky! Oh, my fine friend, get on in here. Thanks. And yeah, he guides you into the kitchen. As he does, you see this ogre sprinting behind you. Sprinting.

Just running all the way into the room, bashing it in, and going, Hey! Two barrels! That does that don't. That does not sound fun. Friggin' act, what are we? Oh my god. Are we monsters or are we dancers?

What? You tell me everyone and everyone's just kind of waking up and Palacius like runs up from the basement. Roll a perception check. Okay, okay, okay, perception. That's gonna be a dirty 20. A dirty 20. Yeah, you see that as Palacius runs up,

he slams the door, but it cracks back open just a little bit. just a little bit unlocked. And this is just down the stairs. So he runs in and goes, oh, hello, you are the ogre, what's going on? He goes, I am ready to have a rager, and there's only two kegs of slog swash. And Palacius is like, you're not part of the Fiends United.

How did you know we were having a goodbye ceremony tonight? He goes, there are rumors, I am a monster, and there has been just talking about it. in place, she goes, oh no, every time there's a part, everyone just goes to the drooling dredge and I don't know. Okay, you can, you can come back and he goes, well, I don't want to come back because there's only two kegs of slog swash.

We want four kegs of slog swash, four kegs of slog swash, four kegs of slog swash, four kegs of slosh, four kegs of slosh. And he does his freaking part, and he is getting everyone riled up. There's oozes, but it's not in a shape or anything. It's like this gray slime that's just dripping over the walls and it's dripping down.

And even they prehensile go, la-da-da-da-ha. But yeah, you've got the air elementals. You got some fiends and cobalds, different goblins, maybe a couple of skeletons too. You get the vibe that they know they're leaving tonight. And they're like, yeah, goodbye, goodbye, we want more. It seems like somebody wants to turn a kegger into a rager.

And you guys all hear this too. Are you staying up there? I'm saying that with the stone active to try to like hint that this is going. going according to plan. Busy's just going to like use the chanting and everything to like come down and like be chanting and kind of like dancing along with everyone

as though like she's part of the party like, four kegs, four kegs, rager, rager, and like trying to like get down and see if she can see if the basement door might be like something she can access. Oh, okay. You, could I roll for perception? You can roll for perception, yeah. 12? 12, from where your vantage point coming down the stairs,

it would be directly behind you, and Palacius is right there, and he's kind of doing some damage if you walked any further, he'd be like, hold on, hold on, hold on. So you're not able to tell what's the basement's deal yet is, but go ahead. Palatius, I just want, I think you might have a little supply change shortage.

What was it? Oh, what? Shut up, shut up. Oh, girl, I forgot your name. What's your name? He says, I am Verg, and I demand a Polly A real one. Okay, okay, Ver like, you know,

all fiends are welcome, yes, yes, but just can you not tell too many people, look what you've started, he goes, good, okay, got it, just, how about this? All three year old persuasion check, this will be a group check. Okay, for persuasion for Peraceous.

Group check. Group check. That's gonna be a 10. That's also a 10. A six. Oh, no. And he says, look, I wanna have a really good party, but I can't just spend money willy-nilly.

We're not asking you to spend money. Sorry, it came downstairs. I heard there was a party happening. First off, I'm going to save my question about the status of plus ones. I want to know that as there's gesture of goodwill, we'll pay for the extra kegs. Okay, I mean...

You know, like, if we're joining, consider it like our union dues. Because we said we were going to gain your trust, and I think that there's no better way for fiends to get to know each other and to unite than under a party, as we say goodbye to our compatriots. Yeah, this slam sauce is a great way to make new pals.

Tell you what, I'll throw in a duel and dretch discount. You used to be green. No? You can't just ask someone. Whoa, wow. What the heck? No, you were the guy. Excuse me. You were the guy from last night.

This is awkward. No, you were the guy from last night. That's very offensive. No, my name's Ruby. I don't see a cloud and say, is that Palatius up there? Right. No, but you had the same pack. You had the same voice.

Bizzy is going to cast silent image. And so she casts the silent image of, she cast the silent image of Tippy. Green Tippy, Tippy O.G, the original color way, down by the door. And she kind of like whispers into the pack. If you start saying stuff, just throw your voice and I'll make it,

sound like it's coming from. Oh, I'm chipped, on me. Oh my god. Oh, it's me, Jacket, Terry. You really can't ask a goblin that, that's incredibly rude. I don't even have skin, I'd be pissed off at the he said, oh, you're that skeleton.

Okay, slide of hand performance, just to see if you can do this, I, do you succeed on intelligence? What's your, what's a DC for? Oh yeah, my spell save DC is 10. Oh, okay, okay, great. So this isn't gonna be, this is gonna be intelligence, not investigation.

I got a 14 performance. A 14, okay, yeah, let's see if I trust this before. Okay, 14, and 14? I don't know if I trust it. Okay, so that's an 11. So you are able to throw your voice. He does not save the investigation check. So the silent image actually does look very similar to Tippy.

That makes a lot of sense. You know who Tippy is. So first of all, he does not see you cast the spell. Second of all, the voice is going great for you. I'm throwing the voice. This is awesome. And I'm gladio. Okay.

All right, all right, all right. And thank you for calling me out. I would like to be, do better. That was calling in because we're friends now. Right. All right. That was a call in, not a call out. I just want you to know that there's a guy

who looks really similar. I shouldn't say that. I shouldn't even go. Yeah, I heard there was a guy who's like, looks like me, but way more handsome. So I'm not the only one. All right, well, at least I'm not going crazy. Okay, so get, Ogur, can you stop?

And he's like, he's like performing a monologue about how ragers are better than Kegar is like up on the, can we get this, Verg, Virg, can you just, you're invited, okay, but we're not gonna do the party for until monster hours, which is in about three hours, okay? So get on out of here, my gosh, I just wanted to recruit some people. You're not Fiends United yet, would you like to be?

I would love to be, but I would only join if Kegger somehow turned into a rager, honestly. That's the only way I would want to join. You also had a suggestion for me that I wouldn't have to pay for the extra kegher. We offered. Well, those kind people would pay, and I'd give you a triple D discount.

Jewel Dretsch discount, triple D. I like that. It was confusing when you said triple D discount because that implied the DIM and something else, yeah, right? Drew and Dretch, discount, discount, okay. Double discount. All right, well, I'm sold.

A discount for each of them. It's like saying ATM machete, like, Okay, well. Also troll machete, yeah. Okay, well, yeah, will you give this fine gentleman the extra money, I think, that we owe them? So that'll be, we pay 10 gold pieces per barrel. I'll take them for five.

That's half, that's 25%, 25%. Double discount. All right, so yeah, will you handle that? Half off. Thank you so much. Rippy, Rippie. Yeah, thank you, Big Rips. Oh, Ripy.

Okay, well, we've got some business, and unless you're joining, are, oh gosh, do you want to join the Fiends Union? I need another guy. I need another recruiter. Well, yeah, of course, but let me go and make sure my other delivery guy brings the two other barrels. Why don't I just leave these barrels near your support beams? Yeah, that sounds, that sounds good, yeah, out of the way. Of course. Yes, out of the way, dear wall or support beam. Okay, go ahead and leave those on this floor for sure. Yeah, easy access for everybody.

Right. Right. Because we're all the two in, and then if I know that these are by the support beams that hold up the foundation of the building, I could leave them here and then the other two we could use first. Okay. It's helpful for me to remember which kegs are untapped. Tibby, are you more concerned with like the entire building, including like the foundation

and the outer walls blowing up, or do you want to like obliterate the inside? I want to obliterate the inside. Okay, great. So yeah, then you're gonna set him near the stairs. And he says, oh, yeah, one in the front, one in the back, plenty of options for people. Of course. We'll put the other four, or the other two over there and there.

Great, just unload those. Will you- I'll go get my guy? You get your guy and can you take that over with you outside? Oh, well, he wants to, come on, he wants to be bar and bar-and. But not now. Okay, I'll think. He's got enough just to, hey, Verge, we're gonna do a second part.

We're gonna do a rager. Don't you worry, don't you worry, we're gonna do a rager. So Vergg goes, wonderful. High-five. It's very nice to see you too. We all slap his hands. And then Busy just like, Bizzy takes the ogre's hand and it's like,

I will lead you outside, good party ogre. Okay. And then like we go outside. What are you doing? Dude, you don't ask for money in front of the mark. You ask for money in front of them. You gotta ask for the money in a sidebar. I don't take notes very well.

Okay, so let's do a compliment sandwich. You did such a great job. You were so convincing. None of this would have worked without you. I know. Next time you do this, and you'll do this a lot because you're so good, just make sure that when it comes to the money stuff, you handle that away from everyone else

because you don't want it to mess with the illusion. I just got really confident. No, and your confidence is what sold it. You are wonderful. I just don't want to undercut everything that I already worked for. And if you're telling me that I did, then that. No, you didn't, you 100% saved it. When you grabbed my hand, that was some of the best yes-anding

I've ever seen. Yeah, I took an improv. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, it's a monster improv. And I could tell you did because I can see how good it is. Everyone in there just thought that was you. No one knew you were acting. So do I still get all of the money?

Yes, can I come to the party? The party is in monster hours. Here's your gold. Hey, hey, chin up. You're a star. First of many. Who's a rock star? I'm a rock star.

You're a rock star. Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go back inside now. I don't know why I care about your opinion. But I do, I'll see you in a few hours. He said three hours. This is gonna be fun. It's gonna be great.

See you there. See you there. As he walks back inside to Rippy is walking outside and going, It's time for a rage Here, chag, chag. He's not an ascending stone. No, I'm just saying.

You're just saying that. I'm going, chow. Okay, and you hear. Because he's really good at throwing his voice now. Oh, yeah. Actually, Pekara is on ascending stone, and she's able to relay that, and you kind of hear her. Oh, he's on his way. So, Palacius, uh, Kaya, where is she?

I thought we were going to talk to Kaya. Yeah, you know. Is recruitment not important? Like, we're offering to throw this big party. It's just like. Yeah, there's some. Okay, so let's get you, let's get you all signed in. Here's your fingers from the basement.

Thank you. Oh, thank you. There you go. And yeah, let's get you all signed in on our tablets. So come back upstairs. Will you finish setting up on your own? Yeah, yeah. I've got it under control.

Sorry again. Oh yeah, for the, yeah. The problematic stuff that she said. I don't see color. Yeah, sorry. Now I feel weird. Well, it's all right. Okay, so go upstairs, the tablister laid out.

You have your fingers. Just place your hands on these tablets, please. And when you say some of our essence, what does that translate to? Like, what happens? Oh, it's just proof that you agree to be part of the Fiends Union. What happens to people who violate a contract?

I always like to understand legal repercussions. Gosh, I don't know. I mean, I feel like at this point, the only people who violated it are just out of death, they just died, so. They died because they violated it? Like, instantly they exploded. Their death made them no longer part of the Fiends Union.

Okay. But I suppose if we really needed you, and as part of the Fiends Union, it's not necessarily this, but because we have your essence, it would just make scrying on you a little easier. So because we give you our user essence, you can kind of track our location and behaviors? Well, not exactly like we wouldn't just be able

to track you all the time. How often do you have to scry on people? Is this like a frequent thing you gotta do? You know, the most scrying I've done is on our union local chapter leaders. Sure, to check in with them. Yeah, just to make sure they're on the up and up, doing what we stand for as Feens United,

which is equality among minions and doing our best not to die. Oh, great, great, great. Before I lend your essence, I just wanna say, if you've got some scrying time, you know, there's a couple of leaders named Mimsy and Deb. If you ever were to scry, you might wanna go, Big ambitious, very ambitious.

I feel like maybe they're not necessarily living up to the credos of the Feinty United. You mean we love it here? They told us the phrase was we hate it here. No. Yeah, especially Mimsy. Yeah. Mimsy, he was new, he's only three months,

but he moved up the ranks fast. Yeah, social climber. Watch out for that one, literally. All right, I might pop in a scry here and there for Mimsy. All right. And Deb, you said, and pop it in. Pop it in.

I'll pop a scry on them. In the meantime, tablets. Yeah, you know what? I'll do it as well. Okay. Yeah, you feel like a little nip of your essence, but it's not. Ow, my essence.

Yeah. Is it like as much as like a sunburn or is it like that? No, no, not even that. I mean, your skeleton's an undead, so it's almost like a blink into the ethereal plane. Just a shadow crosses over you and you're done. Oh, I felt like a shadow. That'll just crossed over me, but now I'm done.

Yeah, I'm done. So, okay, perfect. And you got your fingers back. You are now officially in the Fiends United, my friends. Just so you know, and now I can tell you, we are heading out tonight. What? Yep. We are abandoning NACBRECA.

What? Yeah, we are done here. This is newsbrecka to me. Yeah, well. Brecking news. I would say you're welcome to come. We've got three caravans, but I think they're all full, so. Oh.

Let me give you some proof that you are part of the Fiends union. Yes, I would love that. We gave you essence. Okay, oh great, so he hands you union cards, Fiends United's got your name on it. Yeah, you are now members of the Fiends United. It actually doesn't look that official, to be honest. It doesn't look that official.

Can we laminate it? Okay. So while that's going on, actually, Tibby, you're alone downstairs, among other monsters. So what's the closest restroom? Outside. It's outside. It's completely out.

Yeah, I mean these- Just shit anywhere, bro. Yeah, is outside the restroom? Yeah, outside is the restroom. Like, is there, like, a closet or anything? Like storage? Yeah, yeah. I would say, yes.

You would be able to tell that if you go and peer in the hallway, there are three doors. You could pretty easily open at least one of them, see that it's a bunk room. The other two are locked, but in that bunk room, there's an armoire. Okay, so I want to, with magical tinkering, record, because with magical tinkering,

I can make a six second long recorded message, that plays. And in the message, he's making a yackback. In the message, I want to be like, Oh, no one look at me, I'm so sick from drinking. No one look at me, I'm so sick from drinking. And I want that to like auto play. Okay.

And I want to hide it in the closet. Okay. So tell me if this could work, because maybe this is the inspiration, But I want to, this is Rippy's game plan. Rippie wants to go into a closet, put a pre-recorded message in it so people think he's in the closet throwing up. For some reason, he's chosen to go into the closet to throw up.

He, meanwhile, wants to sneak downstairs to where the vault is. Okay. So he wants his alibi to be like, I'm so sick! And then like go throw up somewhere. Okay. Yes, well you are able to do all of those things and we'll see what that turns into. So you make their recording. Are you doing that stealthily? I'm doing that stealthily. Okay, well with advantage. I think everyone's still fired up by the ogre. Nice, so 18. 18, perfect. So yeah, you're able to record it. It just sounds like hubbub in the background, no problem. In the bunk room, there are beings hanging out still in stasis mode. I really think this is like, at the latest 8 a.m.

Yeah, I sneak past them. Oh my god. But it only triggers if somebody tries to open the, like comes near the closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, perfect. So it doesn't play automatic. It's like a Ferris-Muller style. Yes, yes, 100%.

You already got a high score for stealth. You're able to just stick it in the closet and get out of there. So now I want to see if anyone notice you going downstairs. Roll, actually, did you communicate anything about this? the trapdoor you saw? Not yet. Okay, so you're gonna go down the stairs, roll a stealth check.

With or without advantage, or just normal. Just normal. Okay, that's, yeah, let's get me, 12. 12, yeah, someone's gonna stop you as you just get near the stairs. This being, it's just kind of red and fleshy and looks muscular, but it's all tangled and mouths are coming off of it.

And you know this, it's a gibbering mouther, and it just goes, Gotcha, we're not having anything down. Then you can't go. Oh, well, hello there. Did you know that you guys were gonna have a kegger and now it's gonna turn into a ranger? Yes, you're the delivery guys.

Oh yeah, they could really use a hand. My boss is gonna hook us up with like a bunch more barrels and they might need a hand out front. Four kegs, four kegs. Four kegs, four kegs. Yeah, you're right, exactly. Great! Could you give a, I'll be right behind you?

Roll a persuasion check. Okay. And a deception check. Damn it. Both of them? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, persuasion is gonna be a five. Okay.

Deception is gonna be a three. Okay, so he just looks and goes, this more cake, the two extra cakes are not there yet. Sorry, I'm guarding the, basement. Okay. Kayak gets my flight, hotel, and rental car right, so I can tune out travel advice that's just plain wrong.

Bro, Skycoin, way better than points. Never fly during a Scorpio full moon. Just tell the manager you'll sue. Instant room upgrade. Stop taking bad travel advice. Start comparing hundreds of sites with kayak and get your trip right. Kayak, got that right. You said this place was steps from the...

Water. We just haven't found the steps yet. How much did we save? Enough. Enough to get lost. Or you could book a stay with Hilton. Welcome to your oceanfront room. Just steps from the water.

The Hilton sale is on now. Book on Hilton.com or the Hilton app and save up to 20% to get the stay you expected. When you want savings, not surprises. It matters where you stay. Hilton for the stay. All right, all right. I walk away and goes, There's a guard at the, I think the entrance

to the vault, to the basement. If one of you guys can distractify, I can sneak down there. Are we still with Palacius? Yeah. Okay. All right, so now we've done our essence. So now that we're all in, we wanna see that basement.

We like that dank. Yeah, I also wanna talk to Kyia if she's awake. Yeah. You're not gonna get into the basement. However, even though we're, We can't take you on the caravan. We could always use extra hands for packing up later tonight. Great.

Once it's all empty, I don't see any problem showing you the basement. Are you coming to the party? If we're supplying the kegs, I would hope that we're going to the kegger that is now a rager. Okay. What's your fascination with this basement? We told you. We were from Unzug's lair. It was Dankin Dungeon-like and Dark.

We've been out in the wilds for many moons. We're just homesick. Yeah. Just want to be somewhere quiet and maybe. be a potential, potentially have like some mold. Oh, mold. That's so good. Everywhere you go now it's all greenery.

We're really protective of our basement. So how about this? After we empty it out tonight, you all are welcome. A lot of these people are not actually invited to where we're going next. So a lot of people will stick around. And he says, OK, go on about your day. And if you could get those kegs to us pretty soon, we'll start.

Don't worry. I think a lot of these people are gonna start drinking slog swash before I even want them to. Really? I mean, does RMH mean nothing anymore? It's monster hours somewhere, right? I mean to that. Downstairs, can I roll perception to see if there's anything I can do to distract this gibbering mouth?

I'm gonna say no, because you did roll really low on those other two, and you were trying to do basically the same thing. So you still see that it's unlatched, like it's not quite closed, but that's about it. Is Palatius left us? He says, if you'll just wait there, I'll try to get Kyah awake. I know that y'all are not just your average minion. He survived the takeover of Unzug's Lair. So I do wanna give you some face time with Kyah.

Thank, we appreciate that, Palacius. Does it have to be soon, and she's a pretty, she's on human hour, so it's a lot. She wakes up a little later. R.H.H. No, thank you. Not for me. We'll make it work though. We're good members. Okay, do you want to, would you stay here in the bullpen? What would you prefer?

I mean, we'd like to just, if we're in the union, we'd like to explore the union hall a little bit. Just get to know people. Okay, perfect. You're able to head down. Palacius... Before we, before we head down, after Palacius leaves. Yeah, he leaves.

He's gonna... Okay, and I wanna say, all right, sidebar real quick. It's just us. And Peccara. Picara, don't listen. Oh, you can listen if you want. There is a trap door downstairs in the corner of the room that presumably leads to the basement, or to a trap, I do not know.

Probably that's the way that evolve. that evolved, right? It has to be. I mean, there's that basement door, but also the trap door. Are they in the same place or where's the trap door? It's in the corner. It's in the corner? Yeah. In the basement? On the first floor. On the first floor. So it's not in the basement. I don't know where you are. It's in the... Oh, okay, okay. I tried to go to the basement. I didn't see it. I'm gonna look around for the trap door. I look around for it. Yeah, it's where he says it's to the right at the front of the house. Is anybody guarding that? No. There's no one guarding that. It actually, it would be more difficult to find if you didn't know what you were really

I try to stealthily check and see if it's locked. Roll a stealth check? Oh, it's gonna be 23. Yeah, no, okay, great. Easily, easy. No one can detect you, however, it is locked from underneath. You can tell it's not locked great, like it's one of those kind of just hook locks. Do I have a lock? It's not a key.

It's not a key. I don't think I do. Don't worry, we have a solution. It's locked. I try to pull on it. It's locked. I got you. Yeah, I got an idea. Okay, what...

Yeah. I'm thinking what you're thinking. I'm thinking what you're thinking. All right, well, why don't you guys figure out the trapdoor? I have another idea to spice things over. All right. At that moment, that's when Chab does come in. The ogre actually is following him.

Perfect. And Chab comes in and goes, Is your other kegs, me friends, courtesy of the drug. of the drooling dretch. Have ed'em. Ah, here, here, to the drooling dredge. Yeah, and about a couple of monsters. A couple of monsters come out of the bunk rooms,

other monsters kind of perk up. There's just more movement going on, even at the wee hours, the wee monster hours of the morning. But we can't drink them yet, because I have to hook up the keg system so that we could, come on, we could pull the thing. Okay, and the over goes, okay, well, let's get it done then.

Mr. I didn't get your names. Verge. Oh, hi, Verge. Can I just have a quick sidebar with you? Sure. Ferg doesn't get the sidebar? You were with the skeleton, right? Well, no, I'm with the Julian dredge.

I'm red. Oh, sorry. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm a whole different burden. Okay. Yeah, I read over here. Okay. I saw your acting back there.

Phenomenal work. Oh, my gosh. It was so cool. I might be one of your big. Matter of fact, can I get an autograph? What? Yeah. Sure, yes.

Okay, great. A thousand times. Sign my hand. Yes. There you go. I'm going to cherish this forever. No one's ever asked me for that. I do what I can, you know.

I bring it to life. I am body. There's a person in here who doesn't think you're a good actor at all, and I had a huge debate with him. He's right by the base ofador. gibbering mouth, and I mean the mouth on that guy. What do you say? He just said that he doesn't really, like, believe it.

You know what I mean? He's like, he doesn't, in his words, he said it kind of sounded mid. So, yeah, I didn't agree. Okay, he walks, he starts right towards the gibbering mouth there. Doesn't even let you finish your sentence. And he strikes him a conversation from the distance. You can see that it's kind of civil. He's like got his arms cross.

He's like sitting and waiting in the gibbering mouth. Pretty undetectable, but making a point. That's when the goblin, you can see his like hands clenching and unclenching. Sorry, the ogre's hands are clenching and unclenching. And he's gonna strike the gibbering mouther. This is gonna get more fiends a little bit more riled up. Some of them are gonna hold him back.

Jimbering mouter's gonna lash out. It's not quite a drooling mouter, drooling dretch brawled, but there's tension now. Is there enough distraction now from that? Yes, for anything, yes. Okay, I'm gonna slip in. Into the trap door? No, into the basement.

Into the basement behind him, great. Okay, stealth with advantage. Okay, great. Thank God for that advantage, because that first one was a quit fail. That's gonna be 17. Yeah, you're able to get by the jibbering mouth through, you creep down the stairs, you open the door,

and what you see is just a really big open area. There are load-bearing pillars, but other than that, everything's open. There's a lot of storage material here, just crates and sacks. And there are a couple of sleeping animals that seem like large panthers, but upon further inspection, you see that they are displacer beasts. Oh, gosh. And there's a few of them. You did roll a high stealth, so I don't know how far into...

Good luck. you're going, but if you're peering around, you can easily see what looks like 600 pound iron safe in a corner. I stealthily, without waking up the displace your beasts, go. At this moment, look, it's monster hours. You have to tell us twice. The four barrels have been delivered.

Everything is in place. You've got Chab, you've got U3, and Pekara is on. the orb. The ogre is there, your friend the ogre, and all the slog swash for the parties there. This is ready to be a rager. Kaya comes out of her bedroom with Palacius, and she comes down and goes, oh, well, well, well, what have we here? Looks like our goodbye party has begun early and is bigger than I thought. Well, all of you, get yours. But remember, we are packing up tonight by 10 o'clock.

And everyone looks around and they're like, and she says, L.M.H. Late monster hours. And they're, ah, okay. And she zeroes in on YouTube and says, ah, the skeletal fingers. You can see everyone's kind of getting ready to start the party. Like you said you had to prep the kegs. They're not waiting for you. They're just gonna get started.

It's really mingling right now, but everything's starting up. And she looks at you too and says, I remember those skeletal fingers really brought me back. Anything you can tell me about Unzou? So, Kai's a human. Human woman, yes. Roll a perception check for her.

Okay. I don't know, she's seven. Four. Oh no. Okay. The one thing you do notice is when she first came out, she lingered a little bit on the design on the back of your robes.

But beyond that, yeah, you don't really see anything of note. She just is very stately, she's in a corset, and she looks really powerful, though, or she's at least giving off a vibe of a lot of power, and you'd be able to notice a fellow spellcaster. Gotcha. That's what you notice. So what about Eun-ZUG led you to the Fiends United?

Unzug's lair seems to no longer belong to Unzug. You know, some gallant wings cleared it out. We met some envoys from Fiends United, who told us that we had to obtain membership, should we wish to return to our domicile. And what we know, you know, we love it here, here being there. But we also love it here. Where did Eun-ZUk go?

That's what we're trying to find out. Some people said he's dead. I don't believe some people. There's no way Un-ZUk is dead. That's what we said. Right? There's no way Un-Zu's dead. Okay.

Why do you say that? He's all-powerful. He's Un-Zu. Who's killed Eun-Zug? Interesting. Why do you think that? For reasons. So you are still loyal to Un-ZUZUG?

We're loyal to, I guess, I don't know. We're loyal to Fiends United. Yeah. We've given up our essence. Are you loyal to Unzug? Does he know that you still are alive? I don't even know if Unzug knew I was dead. I mean, look, I don't know if you ever been to Unzug's layer,

but it employed quite a few monstrosities aberranties, Aborations, skeletons, and other horrors that go bump in the night. We were but two that worked in his army. I would like to think that he knows who we are, but I cannot guarantee that. I had not ascended to the management tier. He might know busy. There's a lot of moving parts. I think I was on a fast track to management while I was working there.

And so I think that he's at least got some understanding of like who I am. What do you want? What do I want? I want what everybody wants. I want knowledge. I want to know more, I want to understand. And also, you know, we're minions in search of a place to men.

And so you are the ambitious one. I'm ambitious in a different way. She has professional aspirations, which I deeply admire. What aspirations are those? Oh my God, okay, so my five-year plan. So it starts with, I'm gonna go and do some more learning, take certificates. I was thinking maybe like an HR track.

I feel like that would be something that would be. really good at. Where do you want to end up? Well, I want to end up at the right hand. I want to end up at the right hand of the person who's in charge. And whoever that may be. Yes, whoever that may be. That is what I want to do. Amazing. This is good information for me to know. There's something about you too that interests me, and I would like to invite you to come on the caravan with us where we are going next, which I shall not reveal to you. But there's something about two skeletons who once were humanoids, which I can tell from From our bones. From your bones. And who have somehow become arguably more powerful than they were in their life.

Well, the invitation is extended. What do you say? And that leaves tonight? It leaves tonight. By 10 p.m. L.H? That's right. Of course we'll go on the caravan. Yeah, of course we'll go with the caravan.

All right, be here. You're going to help all of us pack. Don't get too drunk on slog swash. And we'll see you in the caravan. Okay, Kaya. Fantastic. Can't wait to pack and get in the caravan. Until then, have fun.

Thank you. I'll have my people escort you, wherever you go. We're gonna be escorted by new friends. We're making... Yes, Palacius. I'll have Palacius do that. You hear, through Sunday, you hear Piccaro goes, Uh, guys, this isn't good. This isn't good.

You've made friends with Karen, we like that, but I don't know. She seems to take an interest in you. I don't really know why. You've got to get out of this situation, but we do need the safe. You need the safe. It's going to have to happen pretty soon, I think, or else I don't know what to tell you. What? I'm near the safe.

I actually didn't think I would get this far. How do we get the safe out of here? Didn't Busy have a plan for that? It's just heavy, and I realize there's no way I'm lifting the safe. Busy, what was your plan? Oh, my original plan was just to, like, get my hand in there so that we could try to get in to get the safe. I was gonna say I can pick the lock on the trap door. Oh, remember a plan that you said that we could lift the safe itself with the airship?

Yeah, absolutely. And we just have to get it out of that basement. Why? You said he was just made out of wood and thatch? Oh. Blow a hole in the ceiling and then just have it come down, hook up the safe. And then lift it up. Wait, let me understand this plan.

You're saying, blow an identical hole through all of the floors of that. so that the winch from the sky. We gotta move these games. Or I'm thinking that safe being pulled up could just wreck the entire house doing that itself? Okay. How many floors is this place? Two. Two floors? Well blow hole in both floors and the ceiling instead of blowing the support structures. Now that does foil my plans of complete and utter destruction, but I would gladly blow up all through all three floors for you.

Hmm. Yeah. We can get to the top floor. We already have them on the first floor. Yeah, so we can get a hole down there. I'll repel down each floor. You tell me, and I'll blow it up as we go. I have a plan.

It sounds like an impossible mission, but I think that I can do it. It sounds like something that would call for mega inspiration. It means so much inspiration. But I think I've got it. Okay, busy. What's the plan? I'm going to walk and talk. So, okay, and I'm going to say,

Right now the party has started. We're in. It is nine a.m. And y'all, the monsters are going nuts. Yeah. This place is bumpin. So we're gonna go up to the stairs. We're in the top floor that first floor.

Yep. Look up at the ceiling. What spells do you have where we could do something? It doesn't have to be huge. We don't want anything to catch on fire, but just somebody. You've asked the wrong wizard. So busy is going,

What do you got? No, no, you tell me the plan. I have a way that you might be able to, tell me your plan. What my plan is, is right now, the first thing I'm gonna do is get a hole through the roof and then have the airship drop a rope down and then I will hang off of the rope

and then another hole down the next floor until I get down into the basement, attach that onto the vault, and then we go up. Perfect plan. I'm going to go upstairs, and memorize the position where the safe is, and I'm going to, with magical tinkering,

make an X, an X out of magical light that just appears on the floor. Yeah, you're able to just do that. So that Bizzie can see exactly where the safe is. Are you up there with the skeletons in Kaya right now? Yeah, I sneak my way back up. You sneak. Okay, so she's convincing them to come along with her, so go ahead and roll a stealth with Advantage.

Okay. With Advantage, thank God. 16? 16, you're able to create your tiny little magical X. This way you know exactly where it is. Perfect. Okay, we're gonna get into initiative, and it's not quite combat,

but this is gonna be each person takes a turn. Okay. And these turns can be 30 seconds to a minute, okay? Okay. So, you know, the music starts playing, everything's in place. Kaya says, great, I'll see you there. She disappears back into her room. The layout is everyone's downstairs party.

Palacius is nearby, you guys, watching out for you. No one's any of the wiser that a high-year. any of the wiser that a heist is going on yet. You've even got Chab in his drooling dredch shirt jamming with the ogre downstairs, Verge. Izzy, what do you want to do? Okay, I'm gonna get my girl back. I'm gonna get back Ronnie.

You cast unseen survey? Yeah. Okay, yeah, she appears, are you guys on the second floor still? Yes. Okay, second floor, so she shows up. It's not weird for anybody, but she's like, oh, alright, yeah, hey. Hey, girl, hey, I'm just gonna talk to my girl right here,

be right back. We're doing a heist. Okay. You like to talk, you like to meet new people. He talked to employees at Palacius. Can you just like hang out with that dude while we do this and like distracted? Yes, I can hang out with Palacius, absolutely.

Yeah, just like hang out with that dude while we do all of this so that you keep him like distracted. Yes. You're so funny and charming. Like it's totally gonna- Okay, great. She's very able to do that. Yes, she keeps Palacius distracted. She's made out of ectoplasm. He's made out of air.

It's a perfect match. Okay, perfect. I'm gonna look around for just anything, I guess, any kind of powder, anything super heavy, anything that I could use to create a whole little. Yeah, easy. Okay, so you've still got those tablets

that your essence is on. Great, I'm busy, just gonna grab tablets, look up at the hole in the ceiling, and just start, like, chucking tablets in the hole of the ceiling, I guess, to try to weaken it so she can bring one down. Okay, so this is gonna be an improvised weapon? Okay.

So you're gonna add your proficiency, and you're gonna add decks. Okay. You're proficient in tablet throwing. Okay, so that's an eight with my proficiency, that is a two, and then I'm adding my decks, so it's a 12. A 12 will hit, you just need a 10 for AC,

but it does have a damage threshold. So go ahead and roll damage with a tablet. I'm gonna say you can do 1D6 plus your strength. Come on, baby, come on baby. That's a five. A five, it has a damage threshold of five for the ceiling, so you can tell it's kind of making a dent, but not really doing a whole lot of damage.

Okay. Sorry I threw haunted iPads till I broke your ceiling. That's it. Okay. As you throw them, you realize that it's not doing a whole lot of damage to the roof. It's made out of clay tiles and wooden beams are supporting it. But as the tablets fall down, you can see

that it is cracking the floor beneath you. Like, not a whole lot, but. Is this the same action? Since I've already throwing tablets, if I just take them and start tossing them on the floor. Yeah, absolutely. Poo- And that's gonna cause a lot of people to look at you.

You're not- Party! Okay, okay. Roll performance. you're gonna act like a drunk white girl. Oh my god, you guys. It's so much fun. Uh, ooh, uh, um, that's a, that's a sixth.

A six, oh my god, okay, no one buys that you're drunk. Actually, by the end of your turn, Palacian is gonna just kind of hold your hand and go, oh, okay, enough there. You know, we've got a whole day ahead of us. I just wanted to fit in. It seemed like everyone's getting rowdy. Enough, and Ronnie's like, say it's thinking in like, hey, it's me again.

I got so many stories more to tell you. Okay, Phibbs, what are you up to? So Phibbs is going to sneak away while this is happening and go over to the trap door. And he is going to use his bony finger as thieves tools to try and pick the lock. Oh yes, you can do that. Awesome, slight a handshake.

No. That's a five. A five, okay, your finger falls down into the basement and you hear a stirring beneath you. In that time, what else do you do? Well, I realize that probably wasn't the way to go. Is anyone looking at me? Am I like?

No, no one's looking at you. Okay. Is Kaya still down here? No, Kaya went back to her room. Okay, I would like to try and disguise myself to look like Kaya using disguise self. Amazing. Okay, you can just do that.

Okay. So you're in the corner looking like Kaya. You get to say a couple of things and then we'll cut back to Tippy. I can't stand this racket. It's awful. Shouldn't have had a rage at during monster hours. Should have been human hours.

and I, she stalks towards she. I stalk towards the basement as Kaya. Okay, you see monsters kind of get out of your way. They're so busy, they just look ashamed that you're disappointed in them, but you just do disguise self, so I'm gonna say this isn't suspicious, so they're not gonna try to discern anything that Kaya's here.

The only thing that's weird is that you were downstairs and they didn't notice, but they kind of get out of the way, they're like, oh, should we not be drinking? Oh, well, screw it, I'm gonna drink anyway. Okay, so now you're Kai and your head, and you're heading down to the basement. Yes. Tippy.

What are people drinking out of? Is it a glass tankard? Is it a wood tankard? Oh, okay. Yeah, I would say they're wooden. Yeah, yeah, like a tankard, right? Yeah, tankard, yeah. But also bowls and like, just weird things they found on the street.

Would you say they're pretty sturdy, like hefty? Yeah. Okay, so Tippy fills a tankard. Okay. And goes, this is how you do our rager! and I down the slog swash, right? And I spin my hand like, whoa, and I cast catapult.

And I toss the cup directly up from where the exit. That's so funny. Yes. Okay. You're on the first floor? Yeah. Okay, how far can catapult launch? 90 feet. Oh, yeah, 90 feet.

Okay, this could go all the way through the roof. But let's see if it goes through both floors. I'm gonna say, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, go. This 3D8 bludgeoning. 3D8 bludgeoning, perfect. I'll say the first floor has a threshold of two and the ceiling has a still a threshold of five.

Okay, let me roll. But they both will take this damage. Do you need a D8? I'll just roll three times. So four, wait, I think that's an eight, four, eight. 12? Um, 12, so that's 12 plus one, so that's 13.

13, okay, this does. rocket through the ceiling. Also because Busy's weakened it quite a bit. So it rockets through the first floor, or the second floor. It gets up to the top, but it doesn't puncture the ceiling just yet. So it shatters, by the way, up there. But it does provide a bump. I guess if someone were above, they'd be able to see that there was a weakness there.

What is going to happen is Palacius is going to shove Ronnie aside and just come down and go, Oh, okay, what was all that? I'm very into parting and this actually isn't going to be our house for very long, but we're fiends, remember? We're not here to hurt each other. Okay, so he's down there with you now. That's what's going to happen. Shab is going to go, right, so I just shoot me gun up there then? Yeah. Okay, great. Oh God. Yell rager, yell rager. Rayja. Righty-jah! He shoots his gun, it makes, it punctures the hole right

through the ceiling. He's like, great, I'll do good, tell Pecara, that's what we got. We got two hoes, right? We're all good, your turn. And Pecara goes, for a minute, okay? So just be on the lookout. D-do-do-do.

And Palacius has like come up and kind of grappled the gun and Chab and is wrestling with him because Palacius does not want this to turn into a fight where people get hurt. Busy, what do you do? I'm waiting for the airship to come down with the hook. Is anyone upstairs there with me? You know that Kaya's in her room and there may be some people in the bunk room still.

That door is closed, but no. So yeah, she's just waiting and like keeping a lookout, making sure that like no one's like coming. Okay, so yeah, we'll say you'll hold your action unless something happens during your turn. Dan. What do I see in the basement? Do I see? Yeah, you're able to get down there.

You do see three displacer beasts, no problem. You do see the safe near the stairs directly under the X's where Tip you had marked them. You see a lot of crazy. and tarps, that kind of thing. Okay, do I see the trapdoor? Yeah, you see the trapdoor and a ladder and a ladder going out to it. I'm gonna grab my finger and reattach it.

Okay, yes, you are able to do that. Let's see if these displacer beasts are by, that you're who you say you are. Oh, they're not that smart. Oh. They are that smart. They did, they did roll pretty high. So they're asleep, but as you creep to your finger,

one of them does look up and kind of frowns, sniffs around, that's tentacles kind of almost probing you, not quite touching you, but looking, trying to sense who you are. And it senses that you're actually not Kaya, and it goes, good boy. We're not moving yet. Timelines moved up.

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And she has her two new legs? Yes. Okay, she has her two new legs from the morning. Dan, you were able to add, I think, plus two charisma's. Go ahead and make a deception role with advantage. Okay. What?

That's a Nat 20 right there. Yeah, not 20 with Louf. Okay, so between the two of you, the Displacer beast goes, I don't like this. I know you are not Kaya. But if this timeline really has moved up, then we need to start loading the caravans.

We should start immediately. I know I'm not Kaya, but I'm disguised as her because there's an assassin about who's trying to kill her. No. No. No, there's just during a party.

What's better time than when people are distracted? Oh, a smart assassin. Right. Well. Go and sniff him out. I'll sniff him out, but my other two partners will be loading the carriages. Yes.

All right, so these other, okay, so the other two displacer be like, go behind the stairs on the western side of the and they open up the basement doors outside to where you can see that there are three carriages ready to be packed. And this one Displacer Bees crawls up the stairs in order to sniff out any evil-doers to Kaya. You are left alone. I am going to try and open the safe. Okay. And I would like to use my mega inspiration to try and... Oh no. Should I not do this? No, you can do whatever you want.

One of those. Okay, mega inspiration to what? I would like to place my bony ear against the safe and detach my hand and have it sort of like crawl inside the mechanism as much as it can, like really insert my bony finger and try to see if I can unlock the tumblers of the safe while I try to access it from the outside. You are able to use your mega inspiration.

You're able to place your skull up against the safe. This was not the plan to unlock the safe here. However, you're just able to twist and twist back and hear exactly what's happening, using your skeleton arms as thieves tools. Skeleton key? As a skeleton key. There we go.

It clicks. It clicks. It clicks one more time. And then you realize there's a fourth mechanism. You click and it pops open. Within is just a mound of the of gold pieces, tons of gold pieces, different documents, lots of papers, lots of letters and info.

You've got the fake chalice, and you also have a staff that looks fairly identical to Eun-ZUgh's staff. Beyond that, the gold pieces themselves are, I mean, it is like this much, like a big giant hug, like this much like poker chips all stacked up. And that's your turn. Okay, Tippy.

Oh God, okay. I, out of spell slots, I go, everybody, everybody, I wanna do something crazy. Oh no, okay, everyone's into it. Maybe minus Palatius, but Palacius is wrestling. Verge, Verge, can I have a boost? Can you boost me up? Can I stay on your shoulders please?

Absolutely. I climb up on Verk's shoulders and I'm like, everybody, I don't know how you did in your hometown. But in my hometown, it isn't a keg or doer rager unless somebody cannonballs through the floor. And I want to use my mega inspiration to jump off of Verge, get myself as dense as possible, and just crash through the floor. Okay, your mega inspiration. So this works. So I really do something crazy. You also, very, very, very, have your big pack that's full of metal on top of you. So that makes it a little more believable.

And you jump off of this ogre's shoulders about seven feet in the air and crash down. You actually land like right on your ass. It hurts really badly, like right on your tailbone right before you sink into the floor. And you look up and your friend is right beside you crashing through the floor. All of the X's and the lines have lined up directly. So the airship arrives, you see, You hear it come with its energy. It's right above you.

The rope starts coming down. Yeah, Busy, I'm gonna use my mega inspiration. Busy just like attaches herself to the rope and repels all the way down to the basement. And then when she gets there, she is going to take the bed sheet that she had bought and starts loading everything that was in the chest into the bed sheet.

Oh, cool. Okay, so say, You have all your friends to help. They understand what you're doing. So you scoop it up. Your mega inspiration makes this happen really fast with everybody and you tie it to the grappling hook and the grappling hook starts to raise.

You said you attached yourself to it as well. I was just kind of, busy was just hanging on to it. Okay, great. So it starts to raise up. It's bringing all the goodies with it and it flies out of the ceiling. Everyone's like looking at this big bindle flying out of the party. I guess Palacius looks at it and goes,

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, and starts attacking it. Can I cast something? Yes. So as it's going up through the ceiling, I am going to cast, if I can, we'll see if I can do this, a combination of silent image and dancing lights. Okay. So that in silent image, it looks like now the bindle

is opening up and just balloons are coming down. So it kind of looks like, or the glitter. So it looks like it's like, so glitter, It's so funny. It's like coming down, like it's like this huge, like end of the party. Oh my gosh. We got to get some pyrotechnics.

Like it looks like we did something. Like we did this. Okay, okay. That absolutely happens. Everyone cheers. And yeah, so people are doing keg stands. A large creature picks up one entire barrel and starts just pouring it into people's open mouths.

You are all on the ground. The displacer beasts are hunting for the assassin and also crawling out of the back door. The bindle itself is really. reaching up and you hear on your sending stones, Pekhara says, oh, we got it, get to the ship. We've got to get to the ship. And with that success of robbing the fiends united,

there's still a matter of getting away. However, that is where we will end this episode, the SaGas of Sundry, Goblin mode, to see how everyone escapes. Actually, you're gonna have to tune in next time. Oh boy. That's got it. Someone help me. You know, do Cockney real quick for me.

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The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old-school adventuring and it's most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time, and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make.

This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not-so-dark, not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's detective agency as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying action-packed adventure will take them across the world, Fighting for every quill they can fight.

It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives. Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you. Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents the Chaotic's Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. The diuretics are on the case.