Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Roam Sweet Roam | Sagas of Sundry: Goblin Mode | Episode 3

Episode Date: September 23, 2024

The Minions of Mayhem left the only home they've known behind and head for the town of Knack Brekka. On the way, they encounter their toughest challenge yet: talking to a stranger. Will they reign terror upon her? Or prove that they’re ghoul samaritans? Find out in this episode of Saga of Sundry: Goblin Mode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hello. Doing great. Okay, we have some housekeeping just where you are at the beginning and then we'll part the veil of reality. So you're all at second level, full hit points. You've taken a short rest, which means you may have attuned to those rings and magic items that you found in episode ones and twos. You learned that on top of being able to control the robots of the door, that there are also rings of spell storing. Oh. And that means that anyone can cast a spell, use a spell slot, and cast a spell into that

ring to be used at a later date by the person who's attuned to that ring, up to five levels of spells. And they're empty except for one of Busy's, which does have a pass without a trace spell stored in it still. Tippy, because of the short rest, you are now one short rest away from talking the wetness out of your leather. Oh, thank God. Of your gun holster.

Okay. Thank God, all right. And you are also still poisoned. Oh, I'm still poisoned, that's right. Yeah. Poisoned by the idea this leather's so wet. This is poison in my mind. Classic art.

You got a sickness for slickness. Yeah, with that, we are ready to part the veil of reality. And we are no longer in a really decorated studio in the middle of Burbank. No, no, no. We are actually in the land of Sundaros, where magic and technology collide. And in fact, you three are just outside of the closed gates that once was your home, and as of about five minutes ago, is no longer. This mountain from a vantage point, which you haven't seen, you guys haven't seen in a really long time. Also, about five years, this is a massive mountain.

mountain and it's all black smoke circling above it the entire sky is overcast not one drop of sunlight to be found there's thunder in the distance lightning in the distance as well rolling no real sign of rain even it's just uncomfortable and ugly if you were a regular humanoid but gotlins and skeletons so this is par for the course what a beautiful day yeah oh it's so nice I like God, I mean, I thought it would be like sunny and hot, but this is great. I can't see a single stalactite. I can see some stalagmites, I think that's what they are, but no stalactites up there.

What's that thing up there? The big fluffy things and the... Oh, those sky mountains? Sky mountains. Sky mountains. That sounds good to me. Yeah. Oh, they're nice.

They're nice. I like them dark like that. Yeah. So as you're appreciating the general biome that you're, that you're you are now in. Jelanthor, the very nice wall monster, who kind of had your backs. He had directed you to go west for two days

in order to reach Nakhbreka, which is, as you know, the place where Fiends United is. But also, upon talking to Jelanthor, you learned it is a settlement for minions like you, as well as other types of monsters where, for the most part, you'll be safe from just the whims of monsters. just eating you out of nowhere. And as you walk west, the crater of sorrow looms in the north.

It is a massive crater. And you know ultimately it does sink into lowlands, even below where you are, but the crater's edges are really, really high ridges, and they actually saturate your entire horizon. So you can just tell it's the crater of sorrow for that reason, but also because behind the site of that ridge, there are massive massive,

massive bones that stick up like spires. Some of these bones are skulls, but most of them are just, you know, like rib cages. They're bones of deities and monsters alike from 500 years ago, the searing. You can see them, but I would say they're like two miles out. It would take a hike to even get there. Meanwhile, as you go west, it's certainly there, but it's going to last for a while as you walk. How much do we know about the searing? Yes.

Okay. I know it's like a definitive event that happened in our distant past, but like... Yeah. As several local idiots, how much do we know? Yes, very little. You know that it did happen. You know that the searing happened 500 years ago, and kind of everyone still talks about it. You mainly know it, I guess, in context of Unzug that that is the beginning of his infamy.

Like, his searing walked so that Eun-Zug could run. Without, the searing you know was a giant culmination of a war between. deities and demons, good guys and bad guys, or the light in the dark. When that all did collide together, a big blinding light shot all the way up and all the way down, piercing through the earth itself forming a crater.

You know that everyone died. If you were a thinking skeleton, you might say maybe I died back then. Oh, damn. But are we thinking skeletons? I don't know. The other thing you would know about the searing is in,

In more recent years, people have begun talking about it a little bit more. It's almost like history and religion that's kind of like, okay, well, we don't deal with that anymore. But if there was, you know, like Y2K, then all of a sudden people get religious again, that kind of thing. Is this because we're coming up on like the 500th anniversary of Searing Day? Is this kidding? You were like Sears Miss Eve? Not quite like that. It's a Searsmas miracle.

It's not as specific as that. But you would be able to deduce that like maybe something's stirring or like people are just talking about it. more. That's really all. It's not date related though. Yeah. And I know that goblins have, you tell me, do goblins have the same lore that everybody has about the searing or do they call it something else? What would like a goblin boo-yag be telling tippy, you know? Oh yeah, the goblin, yeah, because you are 18. So you would know, the searing was ultimately really good for you guys. Like you got to come out of the darkness and into the light, kind of come into your own. And just so you know, I mean, the searing flattened the earth.

So there's the crater of sorrow that is a, that takes a like a circular part of the geography. And then the desolation outside of it widened to this flat land of ashy, sandy, blackness, the weather above that change to what you see now. There are rocks and spires and rock formations, beutes that stick out of there. ground, large, like, mini mountains type thing.

And then other than that, it's flat. And that takes up even more of the geography, almost half of Sundaros itself, as the goblin. You would know that the wilds formed after that, heavy and haunted green lands, verdant jungles, and that type of thing. And then beyond that is fantasy as we know it. Where were they affected by the steering?

Who would know and who cares? Like, they're gallantlings and they're going about their kingly duties without any consideration for you. We hate them. The worst. Disgusting. Yeah, it just seems as though the searing didn't do a whole lot to them or for them or against them. But for goblins, the whole desolation, that's what you wanted.

So there's a fondness to the idea of the searing. Yeah, yeah. And as far as who did it and what did it, you almost don't care. Like, they're not all caught up with the humanoid creatures' worship of the Sundari or the demon or anything. It's more just like, hey, we got ours. Like, I think goblins are opportunists at best. And you got some more land. You were able to spread out a little more

and occupy above ground land. Great, okay. So no one's celebrating the sirtennial, though. The sirtennial, yeah. The sirtnial. The serenial. No, I don't know that. Memortative Unzug stamps.

There might be those, though. Unzug is, you would know, there is a pride of Unzug. Like, we're from Unzug's there, for sure, for sure. And we'll see if anyone else is worshipping him outside. Any other questions? about the history that maybe y'all might need to know. Oh, I guess actually, looking at the crater of sorrow,

how high up do those, like, walls go? Can we tell, like, sort of the lip of the crater? Yeah, the lip of the crater is, in the lower places, it's like 300 feet. Okay, so it's huge. Yeah, it's huge. Cool. Yeah, it's many buildings high. And the higher spots where, you know,

the wind hasn't lowered the ridge too much, I would say it gets up to like 700, 800, 800 feet. Like, they're little mountains in and of themselves. And then the bones stack up even higher. I would say maybe not as tall as 800 feet. But, yeah, the bones are significantly, like, 400 feet spires. I didn't realize they made bones that big. I know.

So cool. One of these days, we've got to go see them bones. We got to see them. We got to see the bones. We got to see them in person. We get our portrait done in front of the bones. Oh, my God. And we just have a little portrait we can show people.

There's a little boardwalk in front of them. I saw the bones. As you go, the ground is mostly packed dirt, mostly black packed dirt, and there are very few living things out and about. Maybe some bugs, maybe some small beasts like bats and birds, but for the most part, silent, windy, and just devoid of life. This trek is not populated. Kind of eerie being out here.

I'm used to all the clanks and whirring of contraptions being reset. and shrieks. Skodeling. Oh, so many shrieks. Oh, I miss the shrieks. I always thought there'd be, I don't know, something more out here. Unzu gets to go out all the time,

and all of his, you know, compatriots get to go out with him, and I just thought there'd be more out here. I don't know. Yeah. Hey, what's that thing that you do? You do that thing, stuff go, you put it in your mouth,

and then it comes out somewhere. Put this stuff in my mouth. Eating, eating. Do you need to worry about? Is that a thing we need to worry about? Yes. Do you need food? A thousand percent.

I'm hungry. Okay. But I saw a couple bat flig around if we could, you know, make, maybe make like a bone net. I have a boomerang. I could share it between the three of us. Hey. You could trick them. We trick them into a bat trap where we make them think...

That it's true love. True love. And that they could make out and I snatch it and I eat it. I see no issues with this. Solid. Next time we see a bat, we sidebar and that's a black. 100%. Okay. You see a bat.

Oh, that was quick. We weren't prepared for this. Yeah, these bats, I mean, there's, between the day and the night, it could be eternally dusk for all you know. I will say that skeletons, you do need rest, but you don't need food. Greetings, adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles, and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. degrees I'll take it and that means I've been outside a lot more walking around occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes traveling a bit you know the vibe and after doing some spring cleaning my wardrobe I got to say

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slash critical role. Okay. These weary bones of ours. You do need us. Yeah, but you don't need food. Okay, so yeah, you see a bat flying around away. Actually, you see a troop of bats. I don't know what the... Quick, quick, guys. A battalion of bats. Rearrange your bones to look like a bat. I'm like trying to flap my robes a little bit, see if that helps. Does Busy and Phibs' distraction, does it attract any bats? It does not, if anything,

I'm gonna say, I mean, these are not magical bats or anything. They're not like hyperperceptive or intuitive. If anything, you look like massive creatures, so they're probably gonna be leaving, like going on the way. How close is the closest bat, I guess? The closest bat. So yeah, they're sweeping in,

and they're coming towards you, than trying to move away. So the closest bat would be lingering behind 20 feet from you. 20 feet. I'm gonna try to throw my boomerang at one of the bats. Okay, great. And it's gonna be a swarm. It's gonna be many bats.

This is gonna grab the boomerang first. She's gonna take a little bit of like the soot, because she's dirty, she's skeleton. Put it on her skeleton non-lips and just place them on the bat and be like, there. Now they know that like, I've made it pretty. Perfect thinking. So it's like, hey, like this boomerang is like this bat,

Right, party! And I'm going to cast minor illusion on the boomerang to have it make a bat sound. Bat mating call. Yeah, yes. Yeah, from what I imagine that sounds like. Yes, perfect. Okay, I guess.

Go ahead. Hey, get busy flapping over here and check out these. I'm flapping me. I'm flapping over here. Yeah, it's certainly not a chirp, but why did I think that was going to be a boomerang with Busy's shirt lipstick, Staying on it.

Yeah. And it's going, I'm flapping over here! And I cock it back and I go, kiss kiss, bat, bat! And I throw it into the sky. Yeah, great. You're targeting the swarm, so ideally you hit at least one of them. Hopefully I'm hitting one back.

Yeah, go ahead and roll to a pit. And there's a straggler over there. Okay, that's gonna be a 10. Is that good? That's gonna be good. It's a net hit. It's a Nat 10 right there. Yeah, that will hit.

That will hit a swarm of bats. It's not your best throw, I'll say that. Like this is. Does it come back? It gets, yeah, I'll say it gets lost in the swarm of it and it kind of plummets to the ground, but alongside at least one bat. Yeah, one bat.

Oh, amazing. I have a one batting average. Do I lose the boomerang or? No, no, it's down. This is falling down. It's right next to the bat. Yeah, it's 20 feet away. So I run over all excited, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

And I pick up the bat and the boomerang, and I go, got it. Got it. Got the bat. And I make them kiss. I make it kiss the boomerang. And I run back to my friends and I go, you know, gobbling culture, usually the strongest and the biggest first bite. But because, you know, we're adjusting here, I'll let you two share the first bite.

Oh, that's so nice. I don't really do all that. Yeah. Is that really my jam? But I'll take the bones when you're done with them. No, look, I'll show you. And Tippy just raw tries to take like a big bite out of the, like a bat's ear.

Yeah, I mean, if you're asking me if you're successful, 100%. Yeah, you have goblin teeth. They're like, shi-haping. I'm like gnawing on a batty. Like, I like this. Yeah, and blood's getting all everywhere. And yeah, you're a mess.

I hand it back to you. Go on. What do I... I don't know what to do with this. Well, just take a big bite. I mean, you still have like a good jaws. You still have good band-a- Yeah, but it's just gonna fall through my bones.

Yeah, Busy grabs the bat, opens her skeletal mall wide, and just sets the bat in there and goes, are I doing it? Are I doing it? Okay, we'll work on that. We're just eating! All right, we'll work on that. I understand. I get it now.

And I'm gonna take the bat out of Busy's mouth and go, I'll just dress this up for, like, maybe we could have, like, a stew would be easier. To gift you my mind. My bites. Okay, thank you so much. I will take the bites. Yeah, just give us the bones when you're done.

All right, perfect. So having figured out how you're eating and camping and traveling, without any really difficulties, you make it to your first night. As you're getting ready to fall asleep, Louf comes out and she actually caught some bugs and spun them up. Yeah, she made a little web for herself in there

and has some bugs wrapped up for her, so you don't have to worry about feeding her. Oh, thank God. I would die for her. I just eat every one. Okay. Well, she comes on and goes, So, so we are heading to Nacabreca, it sounds like.

That's correct, Luf. We're going to Nacabreca. It's my first time out of the dungeon. Yes, mine too. Are we hoping to incite many fears in Naccahberaka? You know, I hadn't thought about it, but I imagine we'll stoke some fears, perhaps pluck at insecurities and maybe even play on terrors and, you know, others some such.

Oh, good. I haven't had a chance to do any of those things yet. Oh, we're definitely going to, we're going to be pitting people against each other. I mean, we just can't help it. It's just, it's on nature. Are you spreading tea? Yes, tea in discourse. Tea and discourse. Oh, well, good. Okay, well. I talk into my locket. We're going to be passive, aggressive. We're going to hurt people's feelings.

Oh, but in a nuanced way. Very specifically, we're going to say very, very specific things that target personality traits that hurt their feelings. Okay, that's, yeah, I want to do that and I want to just kill. We're definitely going to kill some confidence, I'll tell you that. We're definitely going to kill some confidence. Okay, well, it sounds like we are on the same page for the most part. Now, I mean, is that all we're going to do there? Why do you want to go there, Unkey, Thibs?

Thank you, my niece, giving me my proper title. I wanna go to the Nacabrekka because it's the only place that I've heard of. And it's where those fiends came from, from Fiends United, and I don't know we might learn something about what happened to Unzug. Maybe he's there. And if we find one dirty, stinking gallantling

that may or may not have put their hands on Maxwell, we will stab and stab and stab and stab until her hands are so sore that we'll have to wait till the next morning is down so long. Oh my gosh, and that is just all Luf can take, and she crawls up her unky tippy's body, and she's like at the top of his head, like in the middle of his hair,

and you just see two spider legs going, yes, yes, stop. That's the spirit, Louf. But again, lose the unkey for me, okay? Just not going to happen. Okay, all right. We'll work on that, too. So with that, is there anything else you'd like to do to hunker down? Okay.

Yeah, so I think any time Tippy is making camp or resting, he tries to set up like a little mini workshop and he tries to go through his scraps. And he takes something and wants to make sure that he hides it from his team. So I don't know if I have to roll stealth or not, but he wants to take some items and just start working on them. From his pack? From his pack. Okay, perfect. First, he walks over.

the Phibbs and he goes, remember when I gave you that top hat? Oh yeah. Can I see it? Of course. Thanks. That was easy. Phibs takes off his wizard hat and pulls the top hat off and then puts the wizard hat back on complete with the hair attached and hands him the top hat. Okay, maybe think about trimming the flat, okay never mind. I think it's a good length. I like the length. I take the hat and I take it to my pack. I go over to Busy. I'm like, Busy, do you have any paper clips or anything? Part of that clipboard, any sort of scrap metal. that's important to you that I could borrow.

Because Busy is a bone pile. Busy just rolls her head over to lay down so that her hand can crawl over it and takes one of the scraps off of her crown and rolls her head back up and then just like things her skeleton hand up, Tippy's body and puts the little piece of scrap like in his hand.

Tippy takes in it. All right, thanks for that guys. Yeah, don't come over my corner. All right. I'm a light sleeper. There's no other reason why I wouldn't want you to come over there. Okay. Makes sense to me.

There's no other reason. He said it. I don't think you would lie to me, so I believe you. Okay, cool, guys. Good night. And then I walk off and start, like, tinkering on these two items. Okay, cool. You don't produce anything by the end of the next morning,

but you are well on your way to doing whatever it is that you're hoping to do. And you are able to get a long rest as well. Again, with no real interruptions, Loof is also sleeping within your ribcage fibs. Okay. And for the next day, as you wake up and journey on, you're still heading west. At some point, the crater ends.

Like, you can see that it goes off into the distance, and you're like, okay, well, the crater doesn't continue for the rest of the land. It's not infinite sorrow. It's not infinite. Yeah, it's not an infinite. Finite sorrow. You're about halfway through the next day.

You expect that at some point you will approach Nakh Brekka, and about halfway through, you do finally see some form of life. It is extremely unexpected. Even traveling through here, you would expect more goblins, more skeletons, maybe some oozes, maybe some fiends, perhaps even some monstrosities or aberrations. But this is a human woman who seems in her elder years, she is covered in holy symbols and robes and trinkets and natural-based jewelry. She's meandering around a certain butte, just looking up at it,

and then trying to maybe climb up a bit and realizing it's shaped like this, and so she's realizing, oh, I can't quite make it up there. So you just see her. She doesn't notice you yet. She's about 100 feet away from you. Guys, over there, do you see it? It looks like some disgusting human booyag or something.

It's like a fleshy thing. Oh, she could have a few. freaked out? She's gonna be freaked out when she sees us. I don't think they... I don't know. I mean, she looks almost like us, but just with like wearing a skin suit or something. Busy, what's the protocol? Like, well, what are we supposed to if they wandered into the dungeon, what were we supposed to do? Well, if they wandered to the dungeon, we would kill her. Kill, right, kill her. But also we would want to ask questions. Do some torturing. Torture? Do torture for answers. Should we go?

Maybe that torture for it. You know what? I am learning so many cool things now that we're out of the dungeon. I want to try something and see if it works. Bizzy is going to cast disguise self. Busy's a skeleton, so she just makes it so she looks like she has flesh. Her hair is the same.

She now has deep, melanated, brown-colored flesh. Obviously, she adds a bit more flesh than probably she's supposed to. She doesn't know how much flesh people have. So she's a little like rounder than usual looking, because usually she's a skeleton. And she's like, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go do some, I'm gonna talk to, be human.

How do it look? You look the most human I've ever seen. I think I'm to bite you. You look. Oh, thank you. Really disgusting. In a good way, in a human way. Fantastic.

Like grabs my clipboard and walks over to the woman. And the rest of you. What should we do? What if things go south? Should I take her out from here? No, let's creep closer, but I don't want to blow up her spot. She's trying something. Let her do some reconnaissance.

Okay. A word I heard once. But I definitely used right. Wants to do some reconnaissance. Okay, perfect. And they want to creep closer without a woman detecting them. Okay, great. Yeah, you're a little wobbly in this disguise self.

Yeah, but for the most part, you do look like a human. And, right? You're going for human. Yeah. Okay, perfect. So, yeah, you, out of no way. just approach this woman, and she sees you and holds up kind of two holy symbols. One is an eight-pointed star, one is a candle.

And you two are still about 100 feet away, but you can't quite see the insignias. Is that for me? What? No, no, what do you want? Oh, I just wanted to say, hi. So my name is Humania. My name's Humania. I saw that you were out here, and I'm actually doing a survey of people who are out here.

So first part of the survey, what is your name person who's out here? Oh, oh no. You people, you just, you're everywhere, aren't you? You're everywhere. I'm just a woman on a trek. Do I have to? What will I get if I do do the survey?

If you do the survey, we will give you you a gift certificate to the creator of sorrow. Look, I pity you, that's why I'm doing this. The Crater of Sorrows is a geographic location that one can just enter. But fine, my name is Asa. Great, and Asa, what would you say is the best part of being out here and doing whatever it is

that you're doing out here and what are you doing out here? Oh, the best part of the death. Resolation is a small chance of sunburn. What I am doing out here, I mean, at the moment, look, I'm trying to meet up with my faction, but they left me behind because my deer jumped up to the top of the butte when we thought we saw a Scravix. And everyone else went on, but there's no chance that I can leave.

I can leave Nage. She's mine, you see. So you're looking for a deer? I know where she is. She's at the top of that. I just have no way to get her down. So if we got her down, you would leave and there wouldn't be any more people here?

Yes, I'm the only person here. And so yes, I would leave and then you would be peopleless. Okay, okay. And final addendum question. Is that important to you? Just another quick question, if you will. So what would you say the most painful part of your body is and the best places

if someone were to hit you would be to hit you there. Okay, in the spirit of participating, like in all honesty, if you've ever been hit in the tit, it just really, really steeped. Yeah, that would really suck. What do you get to do? If I was a hit in the tit,

which would be bad because it's on my, it's on my, because it would be like this part, like my, and, Busy's like pointing to her hip and like that would be, like that seems like that. Do you think she's giving us a signal to attack? She's pointing. She's pretty, she's pointing at something.

No, no, I'll just show you. Busy like points to her elbow. Higher up and then up, lower a little, but then inside and down and to the side, to the side, over there and then to the other side over there. Yes. I think she's saying shoot her in the chest. Oh, the, oh the ribs.

It's the bumpy thing, it's the bumpy things over the wrist. Who are you talking? Bumpy things over the ribs. Shoot her in the chest. Oh, that's what you guys call those. Okay, look. What do those do? Phibs, I have an idea.

You turn yourself into a bone tripod. I hang out there on top with the crossbow, bang, right the chest. I don't think I could turn myself into a trite. You can just bend down a little bit, you can knock it on my shoulder. Is it a great light? Should we take her out or what?

So, all right, well, if that's all the questions, then I really do need to get back to solving this conundrum at hand. Well, I... You seem nice, but also misguided. Oh, I am nice people. Nice is good. I am very nice. And what do nice people do?

Nice people, a nice person would help you with your dear. I will help you with your dear. Busy just like turns the guys and says like, she's not sure. Maybe there's not a clear shot. Who are you facing? I'm looking at the face of God. Okay.

Roll a deception. Deception, well, I mean, that's an 11. Yeah. So she says, look, it seems to me as if you do have people out here. And let me just say, if you do, then I would be way more inclined to accept your help because you seem extraordinarily. confused by just your being, so I don't know that you would be able to even

get anywhere near helping me with my dear. Well, that's a lot of assumptions that you just made. But I do, I do have people, I have two human people with me. Oh my God. She's saying there's two other humans here. I can only disguise self, not disguise friend. I'm gonna send one at this old lady.

Do I look, believe, I get the head, do I look believable? Yeah, to be, you do. All right. Are you gonna go down there? She needs help, right? Okay, you go down, you know what? See how she reacts, and then as she runs away,

I'm gonna put two in her back. All right. That is a sound strategy as ever I've heard one. Okay. Tippy, Tippy Cox's crossbow and tries to aim, and crossbow's, like, unsteady in his hands. And are you, you are disguising stuff? I look down to my hands, I run them through my hair,

and I'm like, the hair's perfect, but the hands are all wrong. And then I cast a disguise self on myself and try to make myself the first human that comes to mind is Crandall Grecoworth, who I just hate him so much. And I get angry the moment I think about it, but it's too late because I've already cast the spell. So I believe you described him last time,

for a previous session, just kind of stooped, like, broken man. Yeah, it's mostly bald, some sprouts of hair, and they're all too long, they're all like greasy and hanging below them, some teeth missing and a crooked mouth. I'm picturing like the bastard child of gargamel and worm tongue and just like a really greasy fella.

Yes, a really greasy fella. Okay, that is what you look like, and you're all ready to... Make a move. Make a move. Just walking right behind me, like doing the sandwalk so she can't see. Okay, so your friend shows up and you see, roll an insight check. Dan.

All right, that is a 13. A 13. Okay, well you see something in her eyes. It could be hatred or discuss or just recognition or confusion. But she's definitely reacting to you. It's hard to tell if it's positive or negative. She just could be scared, but she's got a reaction going for you. Hello, it's me, Crandall, Greckleworth.

And to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking? I'm Asa. Weren't you Justin Nacbrekka? Uh, yes, I was Justin Nackbrekha, but I had to leave on urgent business. Yeah, it just seemed that you were coming from the east and... You know, the landscape, east, west, sometimes we all get confused and turned around. Yes, right. Well, um, hello.

Seems as though you too would like to help me rescue my dear. That is absolutely the reason I came over, a fact that I definitely understood. Good. Should you help me get my deer back? I do have 30 gold pieces for you. How many dungeon dollars does that equate to? You know, I have heard of it. I've heard that there are overlords who have an internal bartering system with their own printed paper. We don't need them because we are humans,

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Oh, that's so fun. So to answer you a question, I don't know what it converts to. Okay. I mean, 30 sounds like a good number to me. What do they look like? Oh yeah, and she holds up a gold piece. So yeah, we'll do that. They usually fly out of a gallantling when they fall on a spike.

Oh, wow. Oh, it's just something that he, it's a joke. It's an old human joke. It's from, it's Nacbreck-Brecki-in. Yes, I didn't spend too many days in Nackbrek so I didn't pick up the lingo. I'm a bit old, you see, can't teach an old dog new tricks. Is that true?

You can't teach dogs? I, no, I, well, it's just, No, I have, I still learn, I read. Oh, okay, great. I also enjoy book. Yeah. I book right now. I'll book all day.

Oh, my. So when you say deer. So Scravex was somehow this far out. You know, they don't really leave the crater of sorrow, but the rest of my faction moved along to get out of the way. And my deer somehow made it up to the top of this but but it's shaped in such a way that I, there's no way that I can get up there,

and she can't come down. Now, quick point of clarification, as someone who has definitely read a monster manual before and knows what you're talking about, how would you describe a Scravix for people that maybe don't know off the top of their head?

Right, well, if you haven't been to the crater of sorrow, they're like 100 foot long worms. Oh, right. That feed on the bones of the bones of dead deities and dead monsters. Of course. The sad bone worms. For the most part, they live above the ground

and they leave behind their leavings, which are giant piles. Is that what this is? Oh, no, this is just a rock formation. Oh, okay. No, the crater of sorrow is where they normally are. This one must have gone rogue in search of other bones. Tippy being full of anxiety,

now the conversation that's been happening down there out of earshot, he's so full of anxiety. full of anxiety, he's worked himself up so much. He's like, they can't hear me, I've got to get a message to my friends. And he pretends to make what he thinks is like a bird sound. And he goes, Kiel? Like from up the hill. Keele?

And now he's shaking so bad with the. Performance, performance, disadvantage. I don't think you've heard a bird in your entire life. Ouch, I roll an 18, not having that. Oh, roll two 18s! Roll two 18s! Wow.

Okay, that's crazy. Performance minus your poison, but your performance is right. Yes. That's a 16th. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you're still disadvantaged from poison, too. Disadvantage no matter what. No matter what.

So, I guess you were taking your cue from the bats, what they actually sound like, and this bird does make a bit of a chirping sound. It does seem to say the word kill. But, yeah, I think y'all are able to perceive that that that, is your friend. Cow? Oh, what lovely birds that you have around? Birds shouldn't be out this far.

Maybe it's the Scravix and then. Maybe it's a bat. It's bad. Kill! What in the chest? Sorry, I just say. Are you speaking? Can you speak to birds?

I've known, I've known druids in my time. Yes, I'm. You skilled in the art of animal speaking? I am, I'm gonna speak to the bird. You could do the same for my dear then. I can, I can do the same. If you tell it to jump, I can get it down safely. Okay.

Why would I lie about this specific thing? I mean, what would it be jumping into? The air. Wait, how are you? I just, no, what's, wait. Do I, I, I'm sorry, do I look like the traveling trampoline salesman of the wastes? That is the thing I know about weirdly trampolies.

Okay. So if you tell her to... Oh my God. It looks more heavy! Okay, we should actually, before that, we should go kill the turkey and eat that because there are very few live animals here. So maybe we do that first.

She'll just be at the top of the rock formation, no matter what. I think I'm going to do that. Don't kill the... Turkey? Don't kill it. What if it's the last of its kind? What if it's the king of the turkeys?

Oh yeah. King turkey. Okay, and what if I'm the queen of Sundaros? Are you the King of Sunnoos? No, I'm not the Queen of Sundoros. I think I'm gonna go kill a turkey. Kill, kill now! It sounds so in pain. No, you wanna be alive.

You don't want us to kill you, Turkey. No kill? Good turkey. See, it doesn't wanna die. Good turkey. Oh, it's- Panic! No, she's not.

She's not panicked. She thought you were in pain. Good job, Turkey. Kill! Okay, we are gonna get this down. Busy is very important to note, as a bard, Busy does not talk to animals. Oh, if anyone was wondering,

because Busy is a bard, Busy is talking out of her, ass, out of her hip bones. So she is, she just like, yeah, I didn't do anything. I'm a woman of the death. I can, I'm independent. So it sounds like you want my dear to jump

from 25 feet in the air. I was pretty clear. At which point you will get her down? Yes. Yeah, that is what we're going to do. Or your money back. Okay, maybe I wasn't specific. I also would like her to be alive.

Yeah, she'll be alive. If she's not alive, that means you did something because we, we didn't. We just showed up. I would like some proof before I put my animal into your way of how this is going to work. There's been so much turkey talk. Busy is going to say like,

okay, I will have the turkey come to us. And then you'll know I can bring things closer. So then busy, hey, Turkey who says kill, why don't you come close? Oh, sir, and then how far away is Jason? About 100 feet. Or how far, you're 100, okay. Busy hoping, hoping that Tippy has heard.

She is going to cast silent image and have a turkey come around. Okay. Busy thinks that turkeys are a bird. Mm-hmm. So Busy looks around at things that could be a turkey and could look like what a turkey looks like. And Busy looks down at our hand.

and go, oh no. Lizzie cast silent image, and the image is of a hand. With feathers, and here is the little beak. It's so good at attracting goblin. Let's see, yeah, and that just happens. You were just able to cast that. This is chaos.

She, she, she rolled pretty high. She says, all right, enough. Enough. That is like no bird I've ever seen. It's certainly not a turkey, and it looks like a child's drawing, in fact. And I get it, I get it, you're powerful sorcerers. You can conjure things.

I'm not to be made a fool of. You don't even know who you're trifling with. Would you like to mess with one of the leaders of the vaunted? Who was a vaunted? We're a faction of folk who travel around Sundaros helping others, but not for free. Oh, that's why you have the gold. Well, it, so you did not know I was a vaunted.

No, we thought. Well, why are you casting really silly spells? Well, because we're trying to help you get your deer. I don't understand how that helps. I ask for proof. that my deer would land safely down and you conjured a... You asked for proof that we have magic powers

that can help get your deer safely down. I preferred not to waste a slot of spells of my arcane reservoir. I'm trying to save it to assist this creature that you describe as a deer. Yes, yes, I do know how that works. I'm not magical myself, but you have to understand that we become,

as the vaunted, quite sought after and targeted, because when we help a person, and we do not tell them that a debt needs to be repaid, and we come seeking them later on. That seems like a predatory lending practice. And I'll like it. Well, you can see why we're targets.

Yes, well, that is just our way. We will help whoever, but there also must be balance. And so we come demanding repayment at a certain time. Man, okay, I won't ask you for any favors, but. Yeah, it's quite the protection spell racket. Well, whatever it is, as if you haven't tried to do whatever you can to survive in Sundaro's. So, I guess.

Hearing busy earlier being like, I want my turkey to come closer. Oh yeah, that did happen. Tippy is waddling down the hill. Okay. So I don't know how close he is now, but he's on his way to meet his friends. Great, so yeah, she's like in it with you guys,

but all of a sudden, like she does see what's behind it. That was the thing making the noise. Be gone, foul, wobbly. Hubs in the air! Oh, oh, oh! Oh, scary goblin! Stop, guys, stop. Guys, stop.

Put your heads out. Just her. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. All right, the jig's up. There's no jig. What?

What? Did she say the jig? Yeah, the jig. What, it's a jig? I don't know, but it's up. I think it's a dance. Oh. Yeah.

There's no dancing, human. All right. What are we doing? We're gonna help again a deer down from the top of this... For which I offered to pay. Pay? How many dungeon dollars? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. I 30 gold. We don't speak the same currency. I don't know. Maybe it's many. How many fishheads is that?

Fish heads? I don't know. She doesn't... Piles and piles, stacks of fish heads. An invalid? I don't understand what's happening. No, I'm a woman. What do you want for my friends and why do you want them to save your deer? Because my dear is precious to me. She is mine. She is my familiar. You, you who certainly have had pets before. Tippy thinks of Maxwell, who isn't a pet, but goes, I have had that. You had a bat.

I did, and I ate it. Oh, right. Yeah. Can we discuss this without a crossbow being pointed at my chest? I don't know. Can we discuss this without your humid, witch stinking ways?

I'm not a witch. I don't know, you look like what? No, I'm a vaunted. What, is that another word for witch? I mean, gold, dungeon dollars. No, it's, they're like, kind of. Wait, you all seem to know each other. Get him off of my ass.

I'll put one in your chest, lady. I know. I believe you. That's what you guys were saying, right? Put one in the chest? You were pointing at the chest the whole time. No, she was trying to explain to me what tits were. Well, what her tits?

It's on the chest. I think we can buy them with dungeon dollars. I'll shoot your tits, lady. Is that what I'm supposed to do? I don't think so. Not the tits. I wasn't here, actually. So I don't remember her saying,

the most painful part of the body, so that's something I don't personally know. It is apparently one of the worst places to get hurt for humans, which I am. Oh, perfect. That's where I'll shoot. I'll shoot right at that thing. Will you?

You've been holding that crossbow for a solid two minutes right at my tit. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Have you ever killed a thing in your life? And she goes in like, just to disarm you. I'll make this in a post grapple check. You're a disadvantage.

No, no. Okay, that's not good. That's not good. That's a critical fail. Okay, she has the crossbone now. Enough. I told you my hands are sweaty. I told you guys my hands were sweaty from up the hell.

I would expect this behavior from knock break out two humans getting in league with a goblin, but out here, this doesn't make any sense. Please don't shoot me in the tits. I heard it was painful. I don't want to be shot in the tits, please. Yes, we are not a violent people, but if you're not going to help me with my dear,

then please move along and stop trying to kill me. We've been trying to help you. You are now threatening our friend. That's right. This was a quarrel, and now there's a quarrel that you're pointing in here. You're now a quarreling lady. Okay, so how do you want this to end? Do you want to save my dear, are you going to move along?

Because I can probably fare a little bit better without the chaos of you three. I will say, we'll grab a rope, we'll go up there, and we will ride your deer down. You will give us the equivalent of, I'm guessing, I'm guessing, a hundred thousand dungeon dollars. Yes. And then we will all be on our way.

Just get your dear to jump. Because unlike you, we charge at the time of service, we don't try to come back and say like you owe me one. Okay, no, we don't need any judgment here. This is how things have worked in Soudaras for a very long time. All right. Oh yeah, let me show you how these hands work. And then I'm gonna try to disarm this lady back.

Yeah. Oh boy. Okay, go for it. So this is gonna be, yeah, another, a post-gravel. Okay. That's gonna be a five. I have a 15, so you just kind of like, it's like, yeah.

Okay, I'm so, I'm very sorry about that. I'm a very nervous goblin, please don't shoot my teeth. Okay, I will not, I'm not a violent person, but you understand I have to defend myself. I'm a lone person out here, now there are two humans and a goblin against me. I messed up, guys, I'm gonna throw up. I'm gonna throw up, don't throw up, don't do it.

I'm gonna put this crossbow down. Okay. But, yeah? I need you to say a couple of things to me. I'll say anything you want. Say, you're the boss of me. Wow. Okay.

Say it. You're, uh. Say it, say it. I defeated you didn't I? Okay, you, uh, you're, uh, you're, uh, unzug is the boss and you're a boss, so you're the boss of me via unzug. Yes, I'm the boss of you and now say, I'm your submissive servant. This is how goblins work. I'm your sub, um, you're, um, um, is.

Is it? I'm your submissive servant. Yeah, I mean, yeah, okay. Yeah, we've, it's been on life. Okay, now lay down, lay all the way down. Okay, we'll lay down at my fart. I've smelled farts before. Oh, well la-di-da.

This is seeming like a different thing than when we first walked, though. Okay, play down. I'm laying down. Okay, I'm laying down. Awesome. Tipy lays down, and definitely, yeah, for sure. Okay, great.

I just, that's for me to feel safe around a goblin. All right, we need our associate here to help. Oh, you do? Yes. Here's what I'm going to do. There's nothing you can do to hurt, my dear. She's out of range, but you could bring her down and save you. I'm going to back away from all three of you and let you do your thing, but I'm going to hold the crossbow towards you in case you do any malfeasance towards my dear.

If I know a thing or two about malfeasance, and I probably don't, it sounds like the vaunted of the only ones doing the corporate malfeasance here. All right. Great. So she kind of moves away and does keep the crossbow pointed at you. If you know how to tell your idea to jump, tell it to jump. I promise it will be okay. Okay. If you're going to do an insight check on you, she rolled pretty low. Are you in earnest? You are in earnest? You are in earnest. She is telling the truth. Well, she really doesn't have a choice anyway. I mean, she does believe you. And just, yeah, I think this needs to be over sooner than later.

Even though you look like the person that I should least trust. Ouch. Yes, I really don't trust you and you're probably sociopath. I'm not, I really am not. I was just, I thought you were a bad lady and I was gonna definitely put, like, one of your chest and you're back. That's all, that's all I was gonna do. Okay. Just one.

Just one. And then the other two. And then the other two in your back, yeah. So she does something and she holds the insignia, insignia of a candle, like this charm up to her face. You see this now. You all see him go stiff as he sees this, and for a split second, and then he comes out of it.

But while you're in that state, you actually have a vision. Oh, shit. Oh. And you know immediately this is a flashback to your previous life. Not your un-life, but the life you had when you were corporeal. You are in your element.

The feeling that you have is a life. adventure, thrill, you've got a big smile on your face. You've lived a good life, but you are in the earlier phases of life as a creature, which you cannot feel which race that actually is. You're leaping from branch to branch in a thick forest that is very lush and verdant. There are vines that you swing from. You're barely out of breath, even though it does seem

like you've traveled a long way at this speed. You have a glowing item clutched in your hand. You can't quite tell what it is, but you know that it is worth a lot and you worked really hard to get it. The breeze in your braids feel amazing. You actually keep looking back behind you and down on the ground to check on someone or something. It feels like someone's chasing you,

but a laugh comes out of you. Oh. Yeah, it feels like, gosh, maybe this should be dangerous, but it's not, it's thrilling, and for a second, you lose the chase and you look down and you pause. And that's when you do. You just dodge a weapon that flies by your head and you're back and you laugh as loud as you can

and you're off to the races one more time through the forest, holding this relic in your hand. And that's when you're bounced back into your Crandall-Greckelworth body. Oh, my God. You okay? That was weird. I look around and look down to my hand and I'm freaked out because I forgot that I was Crandall.

Oh, right, right. And I'm like, ha! Ah! Ah! Oh, oh, hey. I have a deep sense that you would not harm Nage nor me. No. All right, I'll give her the signal to jump. Okay.

She is 25 feet up in the air. Do I recognize that symbol at all? You know that it's important, and you know that that was the reason why you did flashback. Okay, candle symbol important. Yeah, well, yeah. And then, if you're examining, if you're, like, looking at the candle, like, she's draped in, in items too. So go ahead and make a perception check to see if you recognize anything else. Eight, I do not.

Eight. What I will say you notice is there are five repeating insignias, but they kind of look different each time. And I don't know, your eyes are just like, whoa, the candle. I really got lost to myself when I saw that. Okay, so she trusts you. She's going to ask the deer to jump, and it is 25 feet in the air, so she just makes a hand signal to the deer. deer, Nage, who is peering down, and the deer takes a run and leaps off of the surface of the top of the butte. So as the deer begins to leap, it'd be pretty messed up if I didn't keep my word, right? And then he pulls out a feather from one of his pouches and casts feather fall on the deer.

Oh, amazing, amazing. Okay. So she's cringing as she's watching this deer that he, is just a powerful female doe, but her eyes are bulging as she's almost bracing for the fall. And as she does about 10 feet above the ground, you see her kind of lift a little, pause, and gently, gently, gently settle down.

Her feet are already prancing by the time that she reaches the ground. And when she reaches full ground, she like starts bouncing around and bounding. She's gonna be like that for roughly a minute. Are you watching Aesha or the deer? I'm watching the deer. What about y'all?

I'm face down in the dirt. Sorry. I'm watching Asa and kind of like, I noticed something happening when fib stared at the candle of exposition, so I'm just kind of like trying to figure out what that is. How dare you.

Sorry. Okay, you're. So yeah, just like, try, like, kind of like looking at the candle, trying to figure out like why he, like, blue-scrained. Okay, cool. I'll give you, go ahead and roll a perception check as well. That is a six.

Oh, six, okay, yeah, you notice the same thing he does. There are some repeating symbols, for the most part, the candle seems to be the most important. Okay, so you're watching her, and as her tear, she cries, her tears down her face, that her deer is safe, and she goes, oh, oh, my nudge. She runs over to the deer, and as she's petting the deer, it calms down, and she turns back to you a completely different person,

just completely different. There's no age in her anymore. She is very slight. She's wearing a beautiful gown. She is dark, dark, dark skinned, and has long black braids that go all the way down past her waist. And she looks up at you and she's just completely radiant and gorgeous. And she goes, well, this was a surprise for me as well, that it would be you. Can I get up now, lady?

Of course. Tiffy sort of brushes himself off and goes, oh, whoa. Interesting. I know you. We need your help. Is there another dear? Not in so many words. You must save us.

They are trying to bring us back. But it is not time. And the world is not ready. There are six of us, not five. And we need. to be rejoined with the six before we are brought back. And you can tell it like she's fading. You may each ask one question,

and then she's going to disappear. Six of who, the vaunted? The Sundari. Who's trying to bring you back? Nearly every mortal faction and anyone with enough power, those who have the five artifacts. Can I have my crossbow back?

And she, Before she disappears, she doesn't answer you. No. She says, we never should have merged. That was a mistake. Find our sixth sister. Find her. Kill her, bring her to us.

And she fades into specks of golden light, and so does her dear. And there's a, shimmer in the air that hasn't quite disappeared. When she left, she was reaching out for all three of you, and then this shimmer in the air remains as well as 30 gold pieces on the ground. And my crossbow?

And your crossbow. It's gone. God. It's just gone, dude. Phibbs walks over to where she was and just kind of like drops his disguised self-spell, like so his fleshy hand fades away to one of bone and like kind of puts his hand in the air where that like displacement is. Does it feel? Yeah, you, yeah, it feels like warm light, milky, silky, smooth warmth. And you gain, until midnight, you gain plus 2 AC.

You just feel this burst of strength in your bones. The shimmer is still there. The other thing that you see is as she's fading away and in the shimmer, you almost get a sense of the geography of where she's going. And it looks misty, full of just foggy, blueness. And you recognize this as, when you reawakened as your undead skeleton self, this was the place that she went back to.

Like you were there once before you, your soul, your spirit, your awareness was in the realm where she faded away into. Interesting. I mean, Busy's gonna go and like grab the coins. Busy counts each and every coin. There are 30, exactly 30 gold pieces. Busy's gonna go ahead, one, two,

two, three, four, five. Amazing. It is flawless counting one by one. It is flawless counting and a flawless amount of coins. Tippy very trepidatiously goes and grabs his crossbow and thinks about that he got bested and then whips the crossbow to the shimmering cloud and he goes, if only you were faster and puts it back in his pack. You know when you're like torturing and killing in the shrieks?

Of course. How could the shrieks feel? Yeah. I kind of feel right now how I feel with the shrieks. It's weird. That little like that like a thing of like, huh, that was kind of cool. Yeah. Is that anybody else?

Kind of after we did, like we helped or whatever. Like I'm saying good riddits. Yeah. So glad to be rid of that tits lady. Didn't like her at all. I mean, look, she could be a bit abrasive upon first blush. She's a lot. Yeah, it was nice to find a challenge

and find a solution. I think we're solution-oriented people. And like when the deer came down and then like it was all like, it was like, oh, I'm next to a kid. It was like all floating. Oh, it was so cool. So deer came down, all floating.

And then came in, it was all jumping and stuff. And then weird lady like did that thing with like where the liquid comes from the eyes and stuff. And it was like, oh, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah, her eyes went crazy for a second. And she totally changed what she looked like. I mean, you saw her after, right?

Was that, like, a spell or something? She said that she was one of the Sundari, which I don't know how that's possible, but she disappeared. You know who would know more is Eun-Zook? I wish he were here. I do, too. And that we had a relationship where I could ask him this type of thing.

But perhaps if we find that he would grant us the answer to this question. Yeah. Also, what happened to you back there? You were talking and you were like, yeah, like, yeah, like I'm really cool, I'm gonna do the thing. And then you were all of a sudden, we're like, ugh. That's what it looked like.

Did my jaw disgorge in perhaps a surprised manner and I appeared catatonic? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you're like, this part and this part were like, ugh. Yeah, what happened, Phibbs? Like, yeah, that's so embarrassing. That the only embarrassing thing happened to you.

I wanna hear, well, I wanna hear Busy's impersonation one more time. Okay. Okay, now I'd like to hear your explanation. Of course, I was, you know, I'd never want to interrupt the good impression of me having some sort of medical episode. Yeah, I don't know.

I saw, she held up that symbol and like, all of a sudden, like, everything went rigid, and apparently I went, ugh, and then, you know how I was just, like, Crandall? I was a different Crandall, not Crandall, but, like, good. Like, different body. in a different body and it felt like something that happened to me. But it wasn't me, or maybe it was me, I don't know.

So like a dream or? Maybe, maybe it was a vision of some sort. A vision. A vision. I don't really know. I don't know if she was clearly a magical being. Maybe it was some sort of illusion, like a turkey. Like a turkey.

Like a turkey. Yeah. I don't know, it felt real. It felt like, felt real to me. Okay. Did it feel like when you guys were talking about inhibiting before, did it feel like that? You mean inhabiting? Inhabiting, yeah.

I haven't experienced that, but it did not fill me with like unknowable, exquisite passion and joy. It filled me with a deep sense of unease. Okay. Oh. You think I'll ever feel that? A deep sense of unease, a thousand percent. I feel that every day. I'm talking about the other thing.

Oh, an exquisite passion and joy? Yeah, that. Yeah, why not? Yeah. Wishing you could be there live for the big game, soaking up the atmosphere in a crowd, but too often, life gets busy. Or the price holds you back.

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Okay. Yeah, listen to my niece. She's a baby. No, Uncle Tippy. Unkey is horrible. But Unkey Tippy, I think you're talking about love and I love you.

I... I... Go away, kid. No. I'm busy to see. It's all right. It just makes me want to... prove myself to him even more.

So you take your time to process everything that just happened. You are able to make it to Nakh Brekka before the end of the day, getting there in the evening. What is it like between this sort of like desolate beauty that we were just at in Nacreca? Is it kind of just more just endless desolation and then there's like this little. There are a few people who at some point wind up

traveling with you or joining forces. They kind of hold up their fist and say, Nac-brecker rules, Nac-brecker rules. Nac-brecker rules. There's really just two rules. One, there's monsters are people, not snacks. And then the other is handle your own business. On your own.

So if you ask even more, it's just that these different monsters and factions, criminal activity, it's all above board, until it isn't, in which case you take care of yourself. No cops? Basically. Yeah, basically. Yay.

Yeah, that's not talking about. Perfect. A gallantling, you could tell, would feel extremely uncomfortable here. Agab. Yeah. But if you're like of the evil sword, it's almost like a, yeah, like your dungeon, where you're cohabitating with oozes and they're not actually attacking you. How built up is it? Is it like a shanty town?

Yeah, okay. So you are now, around two miles outside of town, you actually can see the small settlement that does look like a bunch of Tudor-style buildings. Oh, cool. Hey! Oh, this is so much more built up than I was expecting. This is exciting. Yeah, I was thinking like shacks and stuff, you know what you?

Yeah, this is a nice little Western town. Beings of all sorts roam the streets, so even from your distance, you can see, like, movement. It's not like everyone's ants, it's like some movement where there are large and huge beings that tower over the roofs. You actually can see what you would put together is a Scravex as a... as a city wall on the other side. Oh, wow.

Between the wilds and Nacreca. Live or dead? Yeah, it looks alive. It looks alive. There are things that are moving through it. I get nervous realizing that I'm made of bones. Yeah. Oh, the other thing you see,

from your vantage point, you also see little campsites peppering just the circumference of the town. Still under the protection, it seems like, of the worm. But up above, you see. see a smaller settlement in the sky, in the clouds. Looks like it's also made up of a few of the Tudor style buildings, but also has some metallic elements in it as well. There's not a lot of business,

but you can see one sky ship blasting away from the town in the sky. And this is pretty much just above Nacbreka. Phibbs's jaw drops to the ground, literally, because he has never seen. a sky ship and it is the coolest thing he's ever seen in his life. Oh, yeah, it's pretty cool. While Busy is looking up, she just like leans down.

Her hand detaches, grabs Phib's jaw, and then her hand climbs up Fizz's body and just before it goes back up and goes back on her hand. Whole time she's just staring at the skyships. Right, and you are all about a mile away, and the other passengers, the other caravan travelers, they pass you. This isn't the first time they've seen any of this,

but you are all standing, stock still at the top of a ridge, looking out at this town. Yeah, Tippy is wincing at every loud noise. Like everything that passed by, he's like, ha, huh, huh. Yeah, even the sky shape makes a woo-woo, woo, sound that would reach you from down here. Could you build one of those, Tippy? Probably, I mean, goblins, you know,

we would use all sorts of things, gears, bones and scraps, old buckets. Probably a lot of old buckets. Well, we've got some money now. We can probably buy some pretty old buckets. We get the oldest bucket. We get the oldest buckets, and we build ourselves a Sky City Bird ship.

Can we just steal that one? But then where, then what? Then where do we go? I guess we gotta ask around. Yeah, this is the only town that I know of. Maybe Luzug has like a summer dungeon someday. Oh, it'd be really nice. Yeah.

At the mention of Eun-Zug, you actually perk up someone's attention. So it's not many, it's like probably a dozen total, but there are passers-by who are heading towards the city. And an imp with an incredibly long, pointy nose and flappy ears, shorter than all of you, comes after, goes, oh yeah, un-jerk, huh? Un-Ju's people? Yeah. Yeah. Neck break a rule.

Blackbeckwows. Oh, right. Heard about the decimation of your dungeon. Oh, yeah, we got designated too. Yeah. Oh, who, with whom do you work? Yeah, we're the greatest, just the greatest overlord of all time.

Eun-ZUUZU. No, not, well, I mean, sure. Yeah, Eun-ZU is the greatest guy in all time. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Okay, well, as long as we're telling jokes. It's not a joke. It's a joke.

Yeah, no, I mean, ordinal. Ordinal, a literal dragon, a literal dragon. Ardenal. Okay. Yeah, well, anyway, well, we got wiped out, too. He's the best, he's the best dang evil overlord of all time. To you. Second best, maybe, maybe.

Yeah, rest in peace. We're from Clawcrack Mountain. I don't know how. We've probably survived, to be perfectly honest. Everyone else got, I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it or I'm going to have a fit in Knack-Berker rules. Nac-Ber-Rulls.

What do you know about, how did you know about our desolation? Like, how did you know about Unzug's Lair? Oh, because Ordinah lets us go out and about whenever, and so we've got our little people that we talk to here and there, little ways to get messages and notes. So you've been to Nac-Brecker before. Oh, yeah, yeah.

rented a deck breaker before. This is where I got the job for Ordnale. Oh, okay. Now, I will say, some freaking union came in and inhabited the place, and I just, I can't with them. But they came, Fiend United, they came to your place, they came to, Clockcrack Mountain, too? Clockcrack Mountain got infested with about a hundred weirdos. Okay, was one of them a little lippy attitude have in chest? Oh, no. Okay. Okay. But lipy and attitude having that does seem to be, I mean it was more of,

Was Deb there? Deb, ah. She's a grell? She's a grell. So. Kind of looks like a Karen. We have a, we have a girl in our dungeon, but she got killed. No, there wasn't a grill.

I mean, this time it was an etter cap. An etter cap was in the, which you know is kind of a spidery humanoid type. just like a droopy guy with like spider mandibles and weird arms. Oh, a little droopy guy. Yeah, a droopy guy. Yeah, I do. I think I'm describing that correctly. But, yeah, he's like, and Edder Cap came and just lay down the lies if we were nothing.

And were, were there goblins where you were? We weren't such a goblin dungeon now. Are there goblins in Neckbrecha? Oh, yeah. There's all kinds of stuff in Neckbrecha. Surely they'll help me. Maybe we could find the goblins. and ask them for advice.

Are you part of a faction? Did you get, are you in a faction yet? We're a faction. We're the Terror Squad. We are the Terror Squad. It's true. Okay, we haven't heard of you, and I'm just saying that in Nakh Brucka, you kind of want to be backed by someone,

because if you're not part of... We're backed by Eun-Zik. Yeah. Yeah. The glorious, the great Un-Zu. Is he alive? No one's taken out. He's just regrouping.

How do you kill someone who's all powerful? That's how I say about Ordin' Now. There's no way. There's just no way. He's regrouping. He'll be back, bigger and stronger than ever. And I'm gonna be at his right side. And it's gonna be great.

Yes, my next thing on my path is to make myself indispensable so that I don't get weirdly dispensed ever again. That is amazing. I have that on my five-year plan too. What's your name, by the way? Zag. Zag. Zag.

Zag. Zag. Zog. With that heart, A long. Zog. Zog. Zog.

I'm saying, yeah, Zag. Zag. Zag. Nice to meet you, Zog. Nice to meet you. Yeah, I'm going to go in there and see, see what's about town and maybe look for my people. We're all standing here.

Real quick. Do you know the conversion rate from gold to dungeon dollars? Right. You know, I know that you guys did that. I think Eun-Zuk had you in his clutches. Again, my overlord was an actual dragon, and so we dealt only in real treasure. Fiat, hard currency, I understand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gold coins, copper coins, silver coins, but also chalices and ornate relics, mirrors. Ours just more like a crypt currency. I've heard of that stuff. It sounds like a scam. It's pretty legit. We got everything we needed.

Yeah, we've got some NFTs, not for trolls. Not for trolls. No, no, I understand it. You don't want anybody talking... Crypt coins. talking badly about your overlord, but if I may be so bold, you might encounter this in Nackewka.

Nackew rules. Nackebara rules. Everything okay there, Zai? You seem overcome by the prospects of us being perhaps made light of or taken advantage of because of a relative ignorance of your ways. Phibb's just got a point.

Okay. So what you might encounter, in Nakhraka is that Eun-zuk is kind of, he's well-feared, but anyone who knows his ways doesn't really want to work for him. He's a really toxic.

Sounds great. Poison, very powerful. Yeah, he's still got poison damage, that's not good. Is there a hospital maybe or like a unpoisoner? Yeah, there are ways to get that removed. It does cost literal money, so if you just have dungeon dollars. No, we have literal money.

We're not some sort of desolation yokels. Yeah. Yeah, we definitely know what money is and didn't find that out today. 100%. Well, then with all due respect, I may encourage you to look for other avenues of employment

and just such a site's bigger than Eun-ZU. He is powerful, but... All-powerful. Very powerful. You're all-powerful, or you're small, cowful. He's... Great point, fans. I've always said beginning right now.

I mean, that just sounds like something he would tell you. I like you guys, so, and also I can't kill you right now. So that's a bit of advice. That's a bit of advice. That's a bit of advice to just take with you that there's a bigger world out there than un-zou. We'll see about that. Good one's on.

Yeah, that says we're telling jokes. Yeah, weird, dragon layer humor. This conversation's been a bit out of the ordinal for us. Okay, yeah. So we gotta find a way to get his blood changed. Yeah, I'm severely poisoned. Okay, well, look, if you wanna meet up with some folks, we're all just, we're gonna be hanging out

at the drooling dredch. It's kind of the only tavern in town, but it's gonna be, it's normally a fun time. There's always a fight, always. Sounds good. Yeah. These have to be sanctioned because, as we all know, NACBRECA rules.

NACBRECA rules. It's more, here's the thing, NACBECBECRA rules, right? There are just that, they're just that monsters are people, not snacks, and if there's a dispute, you handle it yourself. Oh, like handle it, like with these hands. So if I can parse this, like if there are a big,

big monsters that are just going after people for survival-based instincts, that's not sanctioned. But if there is like some higher level intelligence to fear, then that's just kind of on your own or a lot of times just so you know factions can get behind one or the other of the sides, which is why you want to be backed by at least one of them. What about starting our own faction, which we kind of already are. We're there at Terror Squad. Yes. Okay, so what you're talking about is a group and a faction

is thousands of people big across Sundaros. I mean, they gotta start somewhere, right? Yeah. They're kind of a startup mentality. I know, it just, this is, I really get it. This is classic Unzug Minion narcissism. Wow, okay, Ordinell. Well, I'm just telling you the way that it is, so.

All right, well, I guess we'll see you at the Jewel and Dretch later. The Jewel and Dredge, okay, bye. See ya. See ya. Zag. Bye, Zach. Okay, so you're all left to your own devices at this point to enter the city as you will or explore the camps or whatever you want to do. I would like to be rid of this poison coursing through my veins.

Yeah, I think we got to fix that first. We got to fix your blood. Something's gross with it. Yeah, somebody's got to get rid of it. I mean, I can get rid of it. I know how to do that part. I don't know how to put more in, yeah. I'm kind of, I have never seen the blood taking outing and then blood.

I want to see what that looks like. I've never been poisoned, and in fact, like, it's not as bad as I thought it'd be, but, like, it's bad. So let's get rid of it. Yeah, I didn't want to freak you out, but you look atrocious. Yeah, real bad. It's really quite terrible. Okay, I'm glad you guys said that because I was kind of feeling self-conscious and I wasn't sure, and now it's good to know. Well, there's no point in saying anything if we can't do anything about it.

Why bring it up? Yeah, if you're going to present a problem, you should probably present a solution. We're solution-oriented. Solution oriented. I mean, that's what the tear squad's about. That's what we're about. Yes. And I've seen so much news stuff. I got to talk to a person. I got to like, I got to look like a, I've never done that spell before. That was very cool.

I got to try out some news. I got to see a deer. Back then, I could have had her. Yeah, I had a shot and... And if you wouldn't have been poisoned, you would have. Yeah. And then if she didn't turn into like a deity and disappear before our eyes and give me a haunting vision of my past then. Next time, we'll get it. Next time. One in the chest, two in the back.

You approached the town during this conversation pretty jovialy, feeling pretty good. Mildly agitated voices, some shouts, some yells, some growls, they fill your ears. Nothing you haven't heard in the dungeons before. And as you approach the hubbubs, you actually do see the 11-12 buildings that are along the main road.

It's still early evening, So there are fleshy monsters, fiends, oozes, monstrosities dripping, lots of slime trails everywhere. Also humanoids and plenty of humanoid, more of the lichenthrope types and hags, some fay creatures that seem humanoid. Everyone meanders about together, many different heights, many different sizes.

Most of them just give you a passing glance. Nothing's exactly friendly, but it doesn't seem dangerous either as everyone goes about their evening. Yeah, Busy's just kind of like waving at all of like, especially like the dungeony creatures, like the oozes and stuff like that. Busy's like, hey, hey, hey, hey, good look at ooze. Okay, and if it is, plenty of oozes,

like you just see the slop and you see some prehensile fists come out and slide back in, yeah. So you're just kind of looking around. You see the drooling dretch right in the front of the town. Is there anything else you're looking for? Is there like an apothecary? or some sort of like sawbones or snake oil salesman. Everything does look Tudor style,

like a western town, a sandy dust on the road, but also these Tudor style buildings are just nice and neat. And you actually see some bandaged monsters walking out of a specific building. And this one in particular has moss growing up it, vines, lots of natural herbs and verdant green things dangling from it. and it's massively tall.

You actually see a monster, their big legs, extending past the edge of the building, just hanging out. And as you approach, it's called Angelina's alchemy. Yeah, Tippy definitely wants to go in that building, for sure. He wants to cure his poison. Yeah, we gotta get that poison out of your vein so you can put some more poison in it over at the drooling dredch, am I right?

Yay, that's a good plan. I don't know, I don't think I can drink. Yeah, you gotta do the drinking forest. Okay, so. I don't think I have. There is an entrance door, and as you enter it, it actually opens into kind of a room that looks very much like a cave. Like they just imported some stone and made it really, really...

A taste of home. Yeah, really small in the front. There's no way this is the end of the entire building, but it's just a hovel right at the front. They really went all out to make this so comfortable. Yeah, I like it here. It's really nice. You do see a massively greasy hag

behind a stone pedestal laying across her arms lazily. Hello, Boo-Yag, or whatever you are. Can I get a little poison out from this guy? And she's much, much taller than you, and she peers down and just kind of goes, ah, ah. Okay, all right. Someone's excited. You will owe me.

Well, yeah, what's your price, Boo-Yag? I will need the eyes of a lemur. Oh, she is stressing me out. Oh, boy. Do you take gold? You take gold? We usually would have dungeon dollars, but would gold suffice? Let me see your dungeon dollars.

We actually... We don't have any anymore. We don't have them. It's, the currency is in flux. All right, I just wanted to see them. I've heard so much about them. Sometimes I never had that idea to just make my minions have an internal money service that didn't actually mean anything.

It's so evil. I mean, they had a monetary value, of course. Yeah, it means something. Which dungeon are you talking about? Oh, that would be unzuglayers. The only dungeons, the best dungeon. Like, you know, the Unzoo-Layer. You heard of it.

He's my favorite one. Thank you. He's a very favorite one of all the evil overlords. I love what he does. He just hates everyone. And he sells people out, and his betrayal levels are chef's kiss. Yeah, see, finally, somebody who stands. Yeah.

Well, seeing as you're a friend of Eun-Zug, do you think we could get a friendly Unzug discount? You know, when Unzug had the bust at the top ranking, then I would say yes. Nack Brecker is all about the evil overlords, but ever since the top four evil overlords are now lairless, and the Fiends United took them over, we don't know what to do with the bus, we don't have the ranking system anymore. Well, he's still all powerful, so, yeah.

He is my favorite. I'll give you a discount. Oh, all right. And you just need the poison? Just out. Well, how much do you have? Can we sidebar? Quick sidebar.

We're gonna do a quick sidebar. Okay. We shouldn't tell anybody how much we have because they'll steal it. Because if someone told me how much money they had, I'd steal it. That is an excellent point. But why steal coins?

They're useless. Like, why not steal my crossbow or steal like? They're like dungeon dollars to us. Yeah, so you could use it to like buy another crossbow and stuff. Oh, yeah. That's the impression I've gotten from all of these weirdos we've spoken with. But if people could steal our dungeon dollars,

We could steal other people's dungeon dollars. Just remember the knack-brecker rules. Neck-Brecker rules, you're right. It may relax on that. We may have to stand on business. Okay, well... How much do you think a depoisoner is worth? I'm going to say it's worth...

To me, one million gold pieces, but you tell me. I'm going to say two. I was going to go with five, but if you think it's one million, we don't have one million. I don't know. It's kind of important to me to not be poisoned. Sure. Let's start with two and see what happened.

Okay, we'll negotiate our way up. Okay, we'll start with two. Busy, like, oh, and what was your name? Angelina! Angelina! Oh, right, sign out the door. Silly me. So we are prepared to offer you two whole, quote pieces.

Okay, that'll get you vomiting in this bucket and an overnight stay for at least 10 hours. In addition to the poison being removed? being removed. Yeah, that will be the poison being removed, but you will not be able to leave. You'll be pretty paralyzed for about eight hours. Oh.

For 10 gold pieces, I can one and done it. Okay, hold on, quick sidebar. Sidebar. We could just, could we kill her? No, she seems. Neck-break-a-wool. Yeah, neck-break-a-rules. You're right, you're right.

Should we talk her down, or? I'm gonna see if she'll do eight. Busy, just like, still in the sidebar, just pops her head out. Would you take eight? I would take eight and anything of unzungs. Anything of unzungs. Anything of unzooks?

I've got to have something on here. Yeah, Busy feels, she's got like some kind of like little scraps on like her crown like she had earlier. So she goes and like pops one off. It's like eight and this magical item from umzous Claire. Or item from umzoo's like. I take the thing and I'm like, hold on, I can make it better.

And with magical tinkering, I'm going to make it like a little hologram pop up and just say terror. that you could like look in the sun, you can kind of like see two sides of it. It just says, Tara. Welcome to oom-zooms, play. Yes. Not for trolls.

Not for trolls. Oh, that's perfect. That's perfect. Give it to me. Ah, yes, Tara, that's what Un-D stands for. That's what you stand for. Okay, no problem. And she just reaches out her hand, touches you,

you feel like you just took a nap and completely healed. And who's paying the eight gold pieces? Or who's doing that math? I think that I have got the gold. You have a goal. Okay, personally. Okay, he has a gold. So, busy just like slowly,

just starts counting them out. One. Oh, right. Two. She's a very deliberate count. Three, four. Ewing does it make, Ewanza makes you paranoid, doesn't he? Sometimes, I'll last count.

Just start over. Start over, start from the top. Pick those pieces back out and start over. Sorry. One, two, three. Neck-Brecker rules, right? Neck-breaker rules. Neck-backer rules.

Oh, damn it. Busy, crap. It's gotta, you cut. Okay, eventually she takes your money. You are now lesser restored, fully unpoisoned. Yes. Hey, you look less horrible. Eight gold pieces lighter, and I will say

if you keep taking things off of your crown, I'm gonna say you have five of those left. of natural things you could just pull off and use for a certain thing before your crown is not a crown anymore. Just trash. I mean, I'm sorry. Damn, all right. I've been so rude in this town.

As you walk out of the street, it's fairly packed, and you can tell in the evening that this is a prime spot for vice and villainy and hedonism, and you are right smack dab in the middle of it. A lot of roads lead to the drooling dredge. It's a wild out here. Some kind of dread-like district. Should we investigate the Dutch?

I've always wanted to see a real-life tavern. Let's go in. It sounds really fun. I hope everyone in there is nice. I'm sure they will be. I mean, everyone here has at least been personable. Yeah, maybe there's a corner that I could kind of hide behind my stuff. You know, no one can look at me.

Maybe we can get a booth. Yeah, let's get a booth. Yeah, let's get a booth. So you do make your way back from once you came to the start of the town where there is the drooling dredch tavern and bunk house. And this has plenty of clientele wandering in and out, mostly in at this point. And it is loud in there. Even getting in there, you're just bumping against slimy skin, leathery skin, lots of weird hair. And you're probably, you're probably very uncomfortable.

Super uncomfortable. Outside. So it looks like a goblin, the sign of the dredge, but it is. It's more, it's got a pig snout. And it just says written pretty half-hazardly, the drooling dredch, tavern and bunkhouse. And as you go in, it is a madhouse. There are people mostly dancing and screaming.

No fights have burst out yet. But there is a giant wear boar, just kind of getting everyone going. So he's not necessarily singing, but he's like every once in a while he'll just lash out and like punch someone a little. It's a hype man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

And he's kind of in the middle of the room. And you can see other rooms in this tavern and then there are stairs leading up. As you all enter into this absolute hub of hedonistic monsters, that is where we will end this episode of Saga's of Sundry Goblin Mode. Our minions of mayhem will be back next time.

Thank you so much for watching. Neckbrecker rules. Neckbrecker rules. Oh my God. Oh, my God. So, my red rules are just in. What have we done? It's just that.

The war is over. The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins.

This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make.

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