Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 100 - Unfinished Business

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

Happy 100th episode! Vox Machina make their way to the mysterious second Ziggurat outside Ank'Harel! With special guest Jon Heder.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We have our crews from kicking ass and working hard to get this done in time for this episode, and we're pretty keen on it. So welcome to the visual upgrade to Critical Role and includes the glasses, the hats, and the various Guzrema. I should probably have the lineup, too. There we go. Always. Oh, yeah. Perfect. That's what I was missing.

Right in my loft. Anyway, welcome. This is a hundred episode. It's been a while, all day the energy from the community on the internet has been just overwhelming. The stories, the messages, the art, it's been intense. And I mean, that's because of you guys. I mean, all of you. And so many people, so many people to thank for the fact that we've been doing this as long as we have and enjoying it as much as we have every step of the way.

Thank you to, I mean, everyone here, Geekin Sundry that had brought us in, and had faith in this weird little show. Thank you to my incredible cast that really make the show. I set the table you all actually, you know, make the dinner. So it's, you all eat it. Thank you to everyone who's been a part of it. Thank you to Orion Akaba and Tiberius, who started this venture with us before going off on his own. Thank you for all of our amazing guests we've had, Will Wheaton, Felicia Day.

Will Ferdell, Mary Elizabeth, Chris Perkins, Patrick Rothfuss, we have Noelle Stevenson, Jason Charles Miller, Phil Lamar and Ashley Burch, who we had one of our one-shots, which was fantastic. And tonight returning to taking this next chapter of the story, we have John Heater and Kit Bus who came in, our fantastic artist Kit Bus. We've had a few guests. Tom Hanks was great. He was great. He was wonderful. Shame we couldn't do that episode live, but we'll upload it at some point.

The Dalai Lama. Such a min-maxer. I know. Barberian the whole way. I wouldn't have expected it. John Heter. John Heter, who will be here? But thank you everybody.

And more than anyone I just mentioned the community, you guys, you guys who have somehow taken our crazy adventure into your hearts and come along and laughed and cried and tensed your butthole the moments that we did. Tensed your butt hole. Yes. Never stop. No, you guys, it is an honor, it is a privilege, it is overwhelming, it is humbling, it is truly magical, if anything I've experienced outside of this wonderful girl here. Who's that? She was talking to you. I was pointing to Talas.

But no, you got, thank you all so very, very, very much. We're so happy to have you here, and let's get into our announcements for the evening. So, first of foremost, our 100th episode tonight is sponsored by Marvel PuzzleQuest. Returning once again. Thank you so much for being our amazing sponsor. Sam, if you want to... I'm going to do a super fast throwout. Well, I'm not going to rush them because they are our sponsor.

Yes. So Marvel PuzzleQuest, everyone. Great game. Download Marvel Puzzle Quest available on the App Store, Google Play, and Steam. New characters are added every two weeks, and you can play as heroes. Villangers. Villangers. Villains. Villains.

The Avengers, X-Men, Spider-Man, and more, speaking of the characters, I'm going to do a quick trivia quiz with Talas and Jaffe here. Oh, wow. Oh, shit. Master of comic books. I'm going to read a list of characters available on Marvel PuzzleQuest game. Some of them are real. Some of them are yoga positions.

You tell me which is a character and which is a yoga position. Ready? Yes. Spider-Man. Marvel character. Flying man. Yoga position. Firefly.

Marvel character? Yoga position. Oh! Devil Dinosaur. Devil Dinosaur is definitely a Marvel character. Invisible Woman. Marvel character. Wild Thing.

Both? Yoga pose. Okay. Medusa. Marvel character. Bird of paradise. Yoga position. Yes.

Cowface. Marvel character. Yoga pose. The hood. Oh, Marvel character. The warrior. Yoga position. Yes.

I've done that. Aries. Marvel character. Extended puppy. Later. Yoga position. Come back. Yes.

The Marvel Puzzle Quest, everybody. Get it wherever you get your games today. We all have fun. Watch him on the Wednesday Club. Yes, indeed. Shameless plug. There will be another shameless flag later. I will say we all laugh now until the,

the announcement of the extended Pumpy Comics series of Comic Con in a few months. We're also supposed to give a quick shout out to Backblaze for sponsoring the first set of episodes of... If you want to go ahead and discuss this, who wants to pick this up? Did I skip? Did I skip?

It says on my page. I'm sorry. It's fine. This is a question buck. A lot of people already probably know. We announced it in our press rollout, but in honor of the 100th episode, we now have episodes zero, which is all of our backstories, through 10 in podcast form.

Critical Role Podcast. And then what's going to start happening is towards the end of the month, we want to start rolling out one a day on workdays, five a week. Don't kill us. All right. Every day to catch up till we get back on track. It's the end of the month. Wake up.

Wake up. Wake up. It's the end of the month. Bontogs. Get it up, I'm getting out. Thank you, Matt. All right on harmony, man. Pam knows.

Yes. So, yeah. There's a podcast. There's a podcast. Where's, what's the address? What are I need? Well, you can find it on iTunes. You can find it on Google.

Play music. Or it's the Geek and Sunday website. Yep. Or the Geek and Center website. It's up there. Yeah, there's definitely all the links are on Geek &Condry. Yes. Yes.

And Google Play and yeah. Stuff like that. Cool. Awesome. Can we talk. Can we talk about this thing now? Yes, we can. So getting into our merch and part of the celebration for the 100th episode, Laura, what have you got in store?

Oh, well, thank you for asking, Matthew. Well, number one, we have our amazing Scanlan concertees. Yes. As being worn by the buff and glorious Sam Riegel. Look at those boobies. Gorgeous, just gorgeous with all the tourist cities on the back and everything. And then also, commemorative item for the 100th episode. We worked with David Mack, who is like this amazing artist.

He's, you know, I'm, tell some of his work. Oh my gosh, he does covers for everything. Daredevil. Jessica Jones, I saw Jessica Jones work. Kibbuki. Back me up. All of it. So he does this amazing watercolor work, and he did an amazing art print for us.

So. Here it is. Without a further ado. Oh, look at that. The I'm so I'm so excited about this, number one, just because it looks so freaking amazing. But then he incorporated all of this amazing stuff, like quotes and everything that has to do with the characters and things that mean so much to us as the characters.

And he just worked with us nonstop to try to make the most amazing thing for you guys. And I'm so proud of it and so happy. It's spark and beautiful. And we have this amazing gold emblem in the bottom. I don't know if you can tell, but it's like extra shiny and that's a special wax. And the paper's really heavy and it's so it's super super special. So it feels like it was like it's a one of a kind watercolor.

Like that's like up close is crazy. It looks like he painted it on the page. 400 thread count. Oh, so we're only selling the one. It's Venetian silk. Also like our shirts that you can't tell how soft they are until you're wearing them like the JOMAD poster that was so beautiful but until you saw it in person you didn't get it this thing in person is unbelievable So yeah this will be available for one month and one month only in the geek and sundry store starting today

And then after that it is gone and we're doing the same thing that we did last time which is also offering a limited edition signed version so if you guys want to check that out that's only available for three weeks so that we can try to get as many signatures before Ashley has to leave Sorry. So, yeah, three weeks from today, you can get the autographed starting today, only for three weeks. And then it's gone forever from the store. We already got copies, right? We already have copies, yeah. Oh, yeah, we do, we do, we do, yeah.

So thank you, David. Thank you for being amazing. We love you. Yeah, it's so nice. Thank you, dude. Really appreciate it, man. Awesome. And what else you guys got?

Oh my gosh. So the Slayer's cake. the members of the Slayer's Cake. Yay. Yes. Have a new product that they have just released. Is it baked goods at some sort of? Well, I don't know.

I think, you know, they work so hard on making a commercial. We should let them talk about it. So here is a commercial from the Slayer's Cake. Okay. Oh, hello there. I'm Terry and Darrington of the Slayer's Cake. The Slayer's Cake. Your pals in a pastry pinch. Go now. Okay.

Heading to a fancy banquet and not sure if your hosts are undead? Slayer's Cake. Say it's Winter's Crest and you don't know what to get your secret Sarenrae. Possibly because you've never given a gift before. It could happen. Slayer's Cake! We even have miniature cakes for that special no-one in your life. Those are cupcakes, Terry.

Oh, okay. Well, I mean... But hey, if I'm... If I still haven't convinced you, don't take my word for it. Wow, so like, and I would know I'm a cleric. Or, what? So come on down to the Slayer's Cake, located in downtown Whitestone.

Look for the big, unsanitary bear. You can't miss it. And don't forget, don't step in bear shit. Bumper V-O. The Slayer's Cake, open till 6 p.m., seven on weekends. Close Thursdays for Adventure. Slayer's Cake Aprons available now. What?

We have aprons, Terry. Yay! Wait, wait, can you see me? There is. There you go. We also, I didn't do it. Ben did it and he's amazing. Ben did this.

He made cupcakes with the Slayer's Cake logo for us for the 100th episode. We can eat them, so I'm passing them around. Ben, you bad motherfucker. Take a picture. Right now. I'm just so excited about this, you guys. I kind of just wanted to get the apron made so that I could personally have an apron.

She's not lying. She wanted to have a lot. Oh, oh, man down. Cupcake down. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it. So I don't know if I want to wear this the whole episode, I might.

There you go. I'm going to hang out. Same one for John. Oh, yeah, one for John. Wait, Matthew. Oh, Matt. Matt. That's one.

Brian, will you pass out? I don't want to eat shit. I don't want it. Brian either. No, I don't want. Take it away. I have things to do. Give it a heater.

He just got one. Oh. You're there. All righty. So, thank you very much with those announcements, guys. Other cool things coming up. We have our fine friends at Wormwood. We have an awesome spot to show during the break today, showing some of their awesome craftsmanship and their partnership showing off their products as well.

There's an amazing giveaway at the mid-break that we'll show you guys when we get there. So stick around for the mid-break when we get to that point to see the process of what they do, how they do it, and all the awesome things they produce there. You can find their stuff, by the way, at Wormwoodgaming.com slash Critical Role for free domestic shipping with the promo code. Liam? Yes. What's the promo code?

Oh. I don't have any of these shit in from me. Crit roll. Is it crit roll now? It's crit roll again. CritRow's back. It's back. I thought it was crit roll.

Where has it always been crit roll? Has it roll. CritRole. There it is. That's all I wanted. That's all I wanted. Thank you. Yeah, this is delicious.

No one told me. That's okay. Anyway, thank you very much. I was looking forward to that at the break. Also, those are asking about campaign guide information for the Tal'Dore campaign guide, All that is up in the Green Owner website. You can go there to go ahead and find out when it's coming out,

how to find it, all that fun stuff. And I hope you like it soon, I guess. Also, we have an awesome infographic up on social media and the website. Hey, great. In conjunction with us, our friends at Crittroll Stats. Yay, Quitroll Stats. Yay!

And we're all you awesome guys. So great. It's so fun. So they've been awesome. Go check that out. It's kind of a lot of fun trivia elements about how long we've been running the show and apparently how many non-existent characters live in my

brain. We're in the 500s. That's the tip of the iceberg, Matt. That has to be sort ofifiable on some level. You're being four. I'm waiting for it. Give it time, I'm sure. Matt, that soda pop looks like you're drinking it out of a wine glass. We were running out of receptacles for soda pop, Sam. Okay. But yeah, so, let's see. Also, I'm going to be ACON tomorrow. So, tomorrow? Yeah, it's allowed in the morning, Texas. So looking forward to seeing you guys in Dallas.

I agreed it was a long time ago, and it all just coordinated. Rick and Willie Lohman, man. Yeah, you know. Do you at least have a late flight? No. Does it start with an AM? Yes. Take a break.

Run away upstate. Take a break. Sing it, Liam it, Liam. Take a break. Non-stop. Halfway two announcements. All right. Our paperwork is no longer valid.

That's okay. Immediately outdated. Yes, I know. Well, that's all it lasted. So see you guys at Acon in Dallas, Texas. Talks Machina, always live Tuesdays at 7 p.m. Pacific time on Twitch and Alpha. Talk about this crazy episode next week, hosted by the fantastic of Brian Wayne Foster. Thank you for eating my cupcake.

Still, surprisingly. All right. Signal Boost, new episode with... Jeff Lewis. Everyone knows him and loves him from the Guild. Check it out. and there will be Brawl. Or as the Wallowayji, he's been in so many things. Everyone knows who Jeff Lewis's.

Go watch it. There you go. And we have some other cool announcements to come up in the coming weeks. So just keeping out and ear out for future episodes. We'll have a few more fun things that we can announce as the month goes on. So that, I believe, will bring us to a.

Well, I have a little thing. I just have to share this. Oh, yeah. Friend of the show, Kiki, not our Kiki. The other Kiki who's made so many vestiges brought me a little something today. Magic in a doom. There it is.

Got to lose those. No, no, no. Maybe Vax needs glasses to see in the dark. Maybe he does. That is fantastic. It's good. Look at my shoulders. I'm like Travis Willingham.

Is this what it feels like, Travis? Yeah, I have to put them on under each shirt. It's a real bitch. Man, I've been crossfitting all day. That's like knit stitching knitwear, right? Yes. Cross fitting all that. You're hitting me with your shoulders.

Caca! It's amazing. Thank you, Kiki. Thank you. You're phenomenal. This will sit in my office and scare my children. Yeah. Appreciate it, Mideef.

All right, guys. We ready? Yes. Let's dive in now to tonight's episode of Critical Role. Oh, God, oh God. You're all right, John? He's jacking in. He's jacking in.

Backing in. Yeah. Oh, John. He's working it. All right. And the lava's connected. Welcome back, John. Glad you can join us again.

Yay! Hey! All righty. So, picking up where we left off last time, Vox Mockina had just completed their venture in the distant countryside of Wildmount, interfacing with the Darrington family, and apparently their long acquired

debt with the myriad criminal syndicate on that side of the world. After making a deal that would salvage elements of the Darrington family, you made your way back and encountered a half-work bard-barian by the name of Lionel who was there on behest of his boss, E.S. A. Sedan, or, as you were immediately referred to as the Meat Man. Immediately. Immediately. You were brought to a nearby tavern and White Stone, where the vicinity had been rented out entirely, and you met with a large, intimidating-looking gentleman, scarred, pockmarked, ready to go ahead and try and wheel

and deal some business with you. After some interesting conversation and some sly insight by Vexalia and Kieleth, it was discovered that the Meat Man was indeed your old compatriot Scanlan under an illusion to attempt to notify you that he had discovered something quite dangerous on his side of Exandria. You discovered that this fantastic barbarian, Lionel, had been working for him under his Meat Man guys in Encarell for the better part of a year. And while set on a mission with a number of other compatriots of his, Lionel had stumbled upon in an area called the Smolder Crown, a mountain range, not terribly far from Encorel. what seemed to be a cavern structure that led to an underground pyramid, similar to the

zygoroth that you guys have been keeping an eye on underneath white stone, which also contained its own small black spherical orb in which they were feeding magical items towards it looked like. However, they were discovered within that tunnel, and Lionel was the only one to escape with his life. The rest fell behind and were left for dead. Upon notifying Scanlan, or the meat man of this information, he knew it was pertinent to return and get this to you in person.

After which, apologies were made. Some were accepted, some were not. But it was generally decided by the team that, based on this information, you needed to make your way to Enkral Post-Haste and discover what exactly resides beneath the mountains of the Smolter Crown. You gathered up the following morning well rested,

all met up at the base of the sun tree in the center of the square, and that's where we left off. So as you've gathered your materials, your weapons, your armor, what you think you may need for this trek, you've all gathered around the base the Sun Tree. Some shade has been thrown. But you have gathered. So what do you wish to do?

We've gone through the Sun Tree or not? Outside the Sun Tree just before we've left White Stone. I just want to make a point that I have alerted everybody in the government, everybody reasonable that where we're going, why we're going, and that there should be people watching the Ziggurat underneath White Stone 24-7 while we're on this mission. Just anything happens. anything happens, be prepared for anything. Not a problem.

It's so brilliant, darling. No. I don't understand. There's not a lot of shade. It's noon. We've been throwing it. It's not here. Flowing from a distance.

From the distance. Never going to. All right. I think we should probably head out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Aware in our on Karel? Where are we going, Scanlan again? Shoudou, do I know any place?

We've been to Encaroll. You've been around quite a bit, and you've seen a number of trees. Like the city itself, within the walls, through magical means or otherwise, it is an interior oasis within the city itself. There is, you know, the sand and dust that blows in from the outside desert that surrounds it in Marquette. But there are a number of ponds and rivers and large palm trees

and other types of trees that are arisen there. Small clusters that form almost minute forests throughout the city. either be as a park to wander through or a means of harvesting whatever the trees have to offer for the people that live there. But you've seen a number of trees and it's easy enough to make your way there. Okay. I'll do the oasis.

Okay. So as Keyleth reaches out, Lano, you watch as the small half-elf, red-headed girl reaches out and touches the tree and suddenly the trunk splits open at the base and you watch as what seems to be a glowing doorway of divine energy appears. That's right.

Go, go. Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! All of us. Yeah, yeah, go, go. I help shove. Okay, I go. Okay. I should note that Doty is coming with us as well.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Sure, I'll note the trinket is coming as well. Oh. Even though it's a fucking given. I shove my sister to the tree. Warm it up.

Warm it up. I'm just kidding. I love you, Terry. You're not here. I just shove you through the tree. I made it up. I created it right there on the fly. We all go through the tree.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gone, man. We're gone. Okay. On an incredibly long, well-stretched six seconds, you all eventually make your way through the doorway into the center of Encorel. The temperature difference is stark, it's immediate.

Whereas you had a gradual transition to Encorel your last time you were there, going from the white stone colder, more damp climate to the immediate dry heat of the central Marquette Desert is just, it's immediate, it's uncomfortable, maybe comfortable for some sort of. maybe comfortable for some of you. And your mouth immediately kind of dries out for a moment, and you have to kind of adjust to the new atmosphere. Looking around you, you've emerged from the outside of one of the central oasis, which is kind of near the Lux Run, where you had virtually entered the city.

There you see the streets are bustling and busy. The, in the morning, it's starting to get closer later in the evening now on this side of Encorel, this part of Exandria. So you can see the sky is starting to get a little darker. There's an element of dusk that will probably be sitting in about an hour. But here you are. Wells, Sandman? Why didn't we do this before?

There's so much faster. Why do we take like a 500-day journey? It was just like 10 days, first of all. Again, I don't get days. Why don't we just make that tree open up? I am very powerful, but there's some things that I can't do. All right? Yeah, I'm telling the truth.

Ever since you found out I was short, you're much snappier and snippier with me. Well, you're just much smaller. I didn't realize. Why don't you just go back to looking like Aeus? Maybe I should. Yeah, maybe you should. Yeah, because I'm known around these parts,

so that would probably be better. Does Ayes where this stupid headband? Because it's really fucking distracting. What headband? There. Perfect. Crown of wisdom. I'll put on the hat and become the meat man.

You left it on, we gotta deal with it. So you step off to the side to a point where you're not being noticed and take on, once again, the illusory facade of the Meat Man, stepping out into the sunlight once more, and you see the imposing figure of the Meat Man now amongst you. You're so scary and big. Do you have a place that you always stay? I'm assuming you have...

They have many places. places. Oh, that's what I figured. I started sticking my fingers to the fake head a little bit. Get off, get off, get off. Do you have, people are looking, stop it. This whole time, all I had to do is touch him. I don't like to be talking.

No wonder you said hands off. You didn't touch him this entire year? He always said hands off. No matter how many times I tried. It's very intimidating. You never went to brothels or anything like that then I guess. Probably not together. Have you been hug?

What's a brothel? Oh dear. Has anyone given you like a hug? I give him a hug. I saw that happen. Oh, this is, oh,

are you trying to go through me to him? No, I'm just giving you a hug. That's, wow. It gives me like 50 extra attack points or something, right? I feel like that something cool when someone hugs me. Can I use my inspiring leader feet? If you would like to take a moment to give everyone hugs

as a party for inspiring leadership. You know what guys? You know, I think... She's speeching. Cool is a matter of... You know, just human contact's important, you know? So come on, come on, let's all a group hug. It's really good, you guys.

You should take them. Group hug, come, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I hug everybody else? This is just weird. This is, I mean, you know, I can, no, I can get, no, this is a nice bumping there. Thank you, yes. Is this a 10-minute huddle?

It's a, it's a 10-minute, like, hug it out. Ten minutes is so awkward. I know. Are we attracting any... And not in Keylitz Baileywick at all. Mm. Are we attracting any awkward looks? I feel like I would have abstained from the ten minute group hug.

Okay. Oh, you get none. I would have gone in and brought you in. I keep trying to grab back back. Come on, come on. Come on. Come on. Okay.

So you brought Scanlan and Terry for this. Yes. Are they both? Scanlan steps out. Terry's in. All right. Yeah. except for Scanlan, gets 17 temporary hit points.

Yay! Yeah. No, no, no. Percy brought me in. He just said that. I did. Can I use your pencil? Brought her comfort bubble.

Yes. You guys all slowly begin to realize the slight display you've given in the center of the town, especially those in your darker, heavier leathers amongst this very warm, open air. Oh, I thought we knew we were going to on Karel, so we kind of dressed for it. You dressed for the case?

That's what we said the last episode. Did you? That's what you said the last episode. Did you? Actually. You said you all showed up dressed for Ron Caron. My armor is fire set. I'll trust you on that.

I feel like you said it. You would have, it's fine. But it's less the attire. You're still wearing your armor, I assume. Yes, yes, yes. So you're still heavy leathers. You haven't... Yeah, we're just doing the whole Lawrence of Arabia.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're still a display of people in heavy leather all hugging for 10 minutes in the middle of an open thoroughfare. Yeah, we're still very awkward at all times. Right. So I mean, it's not like all of a sudden you've... there's a crowd gathered around you, but occasionally there's a few merchants

across the way that are just like, so anyways, I was saying, B'day. Be pleased. Be pleased. Be pleased. You guys are all saying it wrong. I don't know what.

Bax can pick it up. It's not that hard. I am very smart. Where do we go? Come with me. You watch as the Meat Man, leads you down four or five different streets dodging through a couple of alleyways

and off onto the kind of southern eastern side of Encorel. There is a modest-looking tobacco shop that it's kind of more in a poorer district. It's a little more rundown comparably to a lot of Ankarel, which is pretty colorful and very well kept. So it's about pretty decent average fare for Iman, considered the poorer side of Enkerell. But you... Is that a park? It's one of the various beasts of burden that you're walking past in the streets of Ankorel. That was awesome.

To be fair, sometimes the Slayer's cakes get a little new system. They're rich. Don't you say it word. We're working out the ingredients. It's fine. Adventurers can't get it right all the time. So you come to this modest tobacco shop. As you lead them into the interior, one of your employees, Doren,

who is a rather scrawny-looking boy maybe of 22, 23, Completely shaved head, tanned skin, a little sallow, but he's sitting there kind of, it looks like balancing a long, thin, almost like a railroad spike type metal rod. He's just kind of balancing it over the wood. As soon as the door opens, you're like, pumbles.

Ah yes, it is a pleasure to have you back. How are things in my absence? They have been well. I mean, you've already been gone through. been gone for a few hours, but they've been uneventful. Oh, yes, yes, that's right, yes. Any new reports of the hooded people? None within the town, not since last...

Oh, Alainan. Hey, what's up? It's good to see you. Anyway. You're like... It makes you like super strong. Really? Yeah.

At least that's what I feel. No fraternizing. But anyway, and he reaches down and pulls a small wood lever and it's like he sees him to struggle with it. As he does so, you hear the scraping of wood and a chain wench kind of and you watch as one of the small furrogs in the back corner kind of slowly lifts up and reveals a kind of narrow staircase that leads down into a subterranean area. This is kind of cool.

Yeah, it's really awesome. We should go. This is like a cool hideout. What was the guy's name again? Doran. Doran. Doran, you know an Ace long? Well, for a number of months, yes.

Yeah. Good guy. We don't converse often, but pays well. And the work is very rewarding. Right. Is he ever like a firm handshake? I do it is a... You should find out.

No, I... No, shake his hand. I would not... I would go ahead and be right now. I did not presume to want to... I mean, unless you would want to. No. Okay, that's...

I'm sorry. I do not mean to... In his custom, no means yes. I crave it deeply. Make a deception check. Your voice got really high. Your voice got really high. Oh, shit.

When you roll? When you roll. Nineteen. 19. I mean, if you. Have you tried eating? I mean if you. Known him for years, really.

I will just walk by him and go down into the Heidi hole. Okay. It's like, oh, I think you have some incorrect intel, my friend. No, I think you're probably going to need a new job pretty soon. That was a diss. Oh, I didn't. That's all right. Just look elsewhere.

That's all I'm saying. He sits back on the stool and takes his little rod and kind of like jams it in the wood. in the wood, psh. And Huff says, you guys all will make your way down there, which both Lionel and Grog, you guys have to like cannonball up real tight to make it through the corridor and kind of basically drag your way through by pulling on the little bits of wood and earth that mark the exterior walls

of this descending staircase. The smell is, it's musty, it's not damp, but you can sense there is a smell of tobacco very much. You thought, oh, those tobacco shops at the front. As you go down, you see about 10 feet There is a large storage room that contains barrels of dried tobacco of all sorts, and it's a very rich, pungent, but also like a nice spice sent to it in places. Spice. You lead them on down to the far end of the hallway. There's another door that is locked. You pull us at a keys, unlock it, open it. It leads in another hallway. And then eventually, what looks to be some smaller sets of barracks rooms. You see a few doors that are ajar and empty with some beds inside.

You lead down another 20 or so feet to another chamber and it opens up inside. You can see there are three tables arranged in a triangular pattern. On the far end of the table there is a single, what looks like a, almost a throne-like chair. It's very well crafted. It's like gold leafed in places. It has intricate scrolling on the sides and on where the armrests are. And there you see an individual with a hooded cloak and like a deep bluish purple color with it looks like a red crimson,

almost like a slash design around the back, a number of jewelry, and they're facing away and speaking towards the chair, for there on the chair sits an identical, large, looming human male with long, dark hair, mustache, pockmarked skin, and this mid-conversation. You guys really should plan this out better. Bit of warning. Don't use her name.

All right, so I'll just walk up to them. You walk up to the two of them? Yeah, sure. All right. The cloaked figure is a middle conversation, speaking in Marquesian, which you understand. Yes. To the effect of we've been looking and apparently all the shipments have been diverted and held off until, and here's the footsteps, turns over and sees you. Oh, what is it? I'm... Twins. Funny.

What are the odds? Deception check. Oh, you know, like 11. Meow. I, um, just to pull like a small blade at the side, I am under the impression that perhaps one of you is a doppelganger, and whoever my boss is,

would you please raise your hand? I do not raise my hand. The other one does. Yes. What do we do? And puts the blade forward and he watches the other meat man on the third. the other meatland on the throne just says, We do nothing.

I know this man, and we will do our business. Tell no one what you saw here. But if two more leave, I have been taken by its will, and you will have to kill us both. I'm just kidding. That's a complete joke.

But no, seriously, you relate. Go, go. And the... Can I go kill him? No. No. Person with the cloak, kind of. It's fine, I won't kill you.

Thank you. Be pleased. And darts out the room real fast. The other meat man on the throne was, Oh, Vera Ath, I'm going to work real hard to try and convince mother of that. Sorry about that. It's all right. Good to see you again. Good to see you as well. You all look...

Sprye. You look alive. alive. Is anyone in the room? No, Matt, besides... Besides you guys know. It's just you guys and Lionel. All right, so we can drop all of the illusions. They all know what's going on now. It looks earnestly at Lionel. Even chod. Oh, you very well.

Neen watches the Meat Man on the throne suddenly diminishes into a smaller gnome figure as well. Only female with like short, almost buzzed sides, like dark burnet hair that kind of poofs in like a curl there. You can see she's also much tanner than you remember. She is wearing what looks to be like a leather tunic that straining against her rather large muscles for a small nose. She's been kind of making sure that nobody messes with her while she's in the city. Is she buffed now? She's pretty buffed. Oh, shit. You got a haircut. Long time in C. You know, a hot weather around here is a bit of a bitch. Yeah, yeah.

This time of year, so best to get it taken care of them. Anyway, what the fuck are y'all doing here? Oh, gosh. I went to get them to tell them about the thing that we found. Right, okay. Great. I was going to escort them there. Do you think you have things handled if we go for a day? Oh, it's fine.

I've only been dealing with this for the past two and a half weeks without you just fine. No one's noticed until you came up inside. Looking the same as me. That's great. Sorry, I didn't know you were throning. Throneing. Throneing. Is that a thing? Well, when we're in command, yeah. It's not called throaning. Don't listen to him.

I call it. I figured it, it's very descriptive. Been here? On Karel? Yeah. I've been struck a time, but a part of maybe eight months, nine months? Mm-hmm. We've heard you've risen to the ranks. Very successful you are. Not too bad if I do you say so myself.

Well done. This one's almost ruined us a few times, but a... That's not surprising. How are things with the old man? They're fine. Talks about you lot of an awful lot. Oh really? Not true. Not true. Of course not.

No. Did you have a good year together, sort of. I guess that's the last time that we saw you, have things been good? She kind of pats the side of her coin purse, which you can see is rather thick and makes a heavy clinging coin. Not been too bad. if I say so myself. Great. More than I ever made playing violin. Profit suits you well. I don't know if she was referring to monetary wealth, but sure. What can have an earnest relationship with someone, at least she's got money.

It's also very hard to put an earnest relationship in a coin person. Anyway... Yeah. Daddy issues pouch. So, what can I do for you? Are you just come about to say how? Have you... No, I didn't. I came to make sure that you were all right, and is everything I'm not? Have we heard of any other attacks or incidents? None yet, before he came in rudely interim my update from Veerith over there,

but it seems that there hasn't been any more activity. All the hooded ones we've seen have all have all absconded over towards the mountain range again. Hooded ones? Yeah, the ones in the mountain, in the cave. What about buyers, have we had any new interest? No. It's been too bad.

Carthal's been working around the clock, and I believe he's working on a new game set. and ivory and I think Assyrian in nature. It's supposed to go for a pretty penny if we take it a crossover about Wildmount. But take him a little longer to make it, you know, one-man job. He's good, but he's not that good. Remind him to put some imperfections in it. He always likes to make things too beautiful.

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All right. Why don't you want to sell beautiful things? We want to sell real things, not things that look like they're brand new. If things are really old, they have dents and scuffs on them. Right. Wait, sir, you're lying again. Modifying the presentation. I don't know who to trust anymore.

You should trust me because I pay you. I don't know. It looks like you might be growing up. I have been eating more. I could tell that. She kind of sets off the throne and comes up and kind of leaps it and smacks me on the shoulder. Pretty good hit. That's awesome. I know.

All right, so we'll be gone. We've rested recently, right? Yeah, you just did that before. Yeah, we're nice and solid. So we'll be going for a while and just hold down. on the fort while we're gone. Also, I know it sounds stupid, but can you look into getting a few ducks just as pets?

Sure. Yeah, I know. It's just a thank you. Ducks. Yes. They have awesome information. Right, okay. Ducks it is.

I'll get right to it. I'll go talk to my duck distributor. That have lived... That have lived at all. Just ask us. That would be fine, too. Yeah, but Ducks will know things that you don't. Sure.

Sure. I'll send some word to the Fowl District of Encorel to provide the proper. There's a Fowl district. Of course. You're fucking with you. You should always assume. Can we go to the Fowlerl?

Always assume she's fucking with you every time. Yeah. Crazy, trouble with this one long enough. You figure out. I wonder where she gets it from. Hmm. Don't just say a goddamn thing right. Cut your tongue out.

Ooh. She will. She will. All right. Go about your business. I've got it here. Don't die. Any of you?

Lisha, you've got ducks coming for you. I don't want to do if you don't show back on to pick him up. I won't die. Good. Yeah. Don't. If he does, we'll just eat the ducks. No. I don't care of him.

Ducks are pretty tasty. They'll tell you where to bury me. They know all the proper spots. Sure. All right, then, shoot. All right, we're going with it. We're going. No, it's about to come.

You travel over the cool evening air. Do any of you need any supplies or anything before we go? Are we good to travel on foot? What kind of potions you got available? Potions. Healing potions? Yeah. I can heal with my words.

Why would I need a healing potion? Just in case you run away? Is that a note? Just in case you decide to leave again, which is probably Highly. Yeah. Gibbon. I don't know.

Oh dear. No, I don't have any of that. But it can be arranged if you are short. I can have my second here look into it for you. Well, I don't. I have three regular healing potions, and that's it. I'm cleared out. I think we're pretty much out.

Crutch? I have 375 grams. That's gold. You have 375 grams. and 75 grams. Gold, I guess. Grams of gold. They look the same.

Yeah. But I can buy lots of potions with that, right? No, we cannot buy any. But the crutch here will look into it while we're gone. We won't have any until we get back though. Did I make some? Oh, drink. The crutch is my org knife.

It's what the meat man calls me because of my height. I see. So it's named for when he's ribbing. Ribbing is just neat with the... I'm just so excited by all the puns that are available. So no healing then, let's just go? No, we have to just go. Hold on, hold on.

She walks over and starts rummaging through a few small crates that are the side. She's like, he's haven't even been organized properly. Grabbs a little crowbar and wedges it in. Pops off the top and starts fromaging through. through. There's tossing various things off the side, like small metal cups kind of ting, ping, p p p, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, roll across the ground, come to a stop. She pulls out a small. It looks like a leather satchel of some kind that's wrapped over the top and at the side with twine, unwraps it. Ah, there's a few something for you and sets it down, pulls like a necklace

off. You're borrowing this, but you're bringing it back when you're done. Of course. All right. Now, which one of you but him wants it? Oh, I do. I do. Okay. I love it. It's really cool looking. You see, it's a somewhat, it's a heavy, somewhat tarnished silver chain.

That's-a-chain. It smells of old ale-stained wood. Oh, no, no, I don't like it. Oh, no, no, no, I totally cut. Give it to me. I called it as well. I pulled it. Dad, make us roll for it.

Why don't you guys just cut it in half? Just cut it in half. Archmence and take it. Both of you guys make strength check. But I don't want to break it. Don't pull so hard that you do. Break it. Why would I do that?

I have so much finesse. That's cocked. It was cocked. You say cocked 80,000 times, and now I'm going to use luck because I want to beat you. Oh, you're the same thing. So what is it?

Strength. Strength modifier. I will. Oh, no. You go first. Nine. Oh, she beat me. You ripped the chain from his grip.

What did I get? What is it? It's an amulet of the drunker. What's that, what's that mean? You wear that, you drink yourself some fine, fine alcohol. Might heal you a bit. Do you already wear a necklace? I already wear a necklace, so I probably can't wear it, huh?

Ah! Oh, no, you can get up. You can get up. You've got 30 feet. Jack off, jack off, jack off, jack off! The umbilical, there you go. You're good, you're good. You're good.

Is that the necklace? It's fine, basically. It turns beer in the building. What is that? What is that? It's pretty solid. Be your male me to a one will cause you to gain 2D4 plus two hit points. Oh, geez.

That's so cool. Do you already wear a necklace broke? I mean, I wear like. Do you have to attune to it? It is not attuned. No. And you can't wait a one necklace? There is a limit to it, if you read.

Yeah, you only once until the next dawn. So once a day, you can just drink a pint of some alcoholic drink. It'll heal you like a basic healing potion. Fucking awesome. That's so cool. Who's out of healing potions? I'm out. I've got three for the party.

It's not for me. So I have none for myself. I know I've been rather quiet this journey, but I could just provide us with a few more if that would help things move along. Terry is very considering you. Thank you. Is this Terrian? Yes, sorry, it's very odd for me. I will rip off my last remaining potion patch on the robe, which has four small healing potions.

There you go. And the statue that you received from the crutch has three more additional regular healing potions. So we have seven. Seven regular healing persons. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. So everybody take one? I have four on me.

Oh, geez, everybody but heal, take one. I made a few over the break. If we want. Just regular. Regular. Oh, as long as I've got one in there. I'm gonna hand another one to Percy. I'll take two.

From my stash. Hey, T. are you feeling sentimental being back in Marquette? I, uh, the weather is certainly dry. Come full circle with you. Yes. I certainly have. It's good to be back, but I'm a little nervous. I don't know why, really. New setting. Yes. Change of place. Your hair's holding up well in like the heat up. Only because it's under the helm. Believe me, it's a nightmare in there if you look underneath.

I don't want to. Please don't. Does it retain the shape of the helmet? Does it retain the shape of the helmet? Unfortunately, yes. Do you call it helmet head? We can take it up? I'm just holding this necklace, but I already have it. Well, I have a necklace on. I can't wear it. Correct.

I thought you're giving it to him. Can you wear it? Do you have a necklace on already? No, I'm not wearing a necklace. Well, then, let me give it to you. I didn't actually want it. I just wanted to best you. Well, now you have it. You could actually use it, then.

Can I have the thingy? You're not giving it to me. I thought you said you already wore a necklace No No I mean I wear like ears and fingers and toes around my neck but I can always accessorize some more fuck shit I'm the only one that walks around with alcohol on me all the time anyway So we can he combo use that and like fine wine

Yeah Go go go Any like relatively alcoholic drink label on the thing he can drink a pint of A pint holy shit A pint though bro A pint will go down that man pretty quick Yeah. You snort that up your left. It's not quite a bonus hack. Yeah. And Grog won't get smashed off of a plate. It's like a little traveler's mode. Yeah, that's like you sneezing into a puddle.

Do you have an extra necklace that turns chocolate milk into like healing? I'll put some word out for you. We'll see what we can find. Are we heading out like immediately? Yeah, there's nothing to wait for. I actually, I do have a necklace. I have an old necklace. What are we talking about now? What? I haven't all the... Wait, do I still have the car set? Do I still have the car set? Tell us, right.

Yeah, yeah. Wait. I don't know why I asked for potions. I probably have somewhere in... It might be that thing that I got rid of. I had an old card that was the necklace that gave plus one to attack and damage while... That's an attunement item. Yeah.

We get that. We don't need that shit. Huh? Let's go. All right. All right. Sorry your employer overruled me. Court or card or card or... Or card or chode.

Lionel. Lionel. Like the trains. All right, please. I don't know what those are. Out of my space. And you watch his reform shifts back to that of Aizdahn, the Meat Man. That's impressive.

Thank you. Treat that well. I will. I'll bring that. I'll make me pay for it. Oh, no, it's in good hands. All right, then. Good luck.

Don't die. The crutch. The crutch. On the meat man now. Oh. You. Yeah, she changed back. I'm sorry, I was looking at necklaces.

All right, on we go. Yep. We head back out the cramped little tunnel. All right, make your way back up through the tobacco shop to the streets of Ankara. You are aware that the smoldercrown, the mountain range, is about 200 any miles southeast of Ancorel across the desert. You guys, it's going to be a really long hike. So let's find another burning tree or... Sun Tree or something like that we can just walk into because that was way easier than traveling

right yeah you can missy step I mean I can show you how to get there wind walk you can do the tree things right I don't know I've never seen that I can show you how to get there but it seems yeah have you ever tried try to do the Sun Tree yeah what do I do I just like and you have to ask him yeah I'm good at yeah okay absolute conviction really so I go over to of the nearest tree. Okay. About maybe one block up, there's looks beyond those people out.

All right, solid trunk palm. He likes it when you're like super chill and casual with them. So be cool. So the trees are like dudes? Yep. All of them? What does it matter? Okay.

He's standing right next. He likes it when you're, what? Chill and casual. Be cool. Okay. So I go up to the tree. Do I touch it? Uh-huh.

Sweet, you're the tree. Sure. Hey, can you open up and take us to Crown, what was it going? Smolder Crown. Smolder Crown. Smolder Crown entrance, just because. Oh, wait, it would be way easier to just go straight to the pyramid. Yeah, but it's more like a stroking thing.

You don't just leave your hand in one place. Okay, so, hey, I'm chill. Can you just take us? It'd be cool. The box's a little dry. Maybe it needs a little moisture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta like, go to go. There you go, yeah. Oh, it's moisture. Oh, it's all moisture.

So yeah, it's cool. We're cool. If you want to take it, if not, we get it. Is that pretty chill? It's pretty chill. I'm surprised it's not working. Man, honestly, that's like the most shit I've ever seen. Why am I playing the tree? Are you guys like? Are you guys like.

Sometimes you. You know the intimate hug we had earlier? Wait just a second. Hey, Ace? Now I'm talking to Ace. Oh, okay. Yes. This reminds me of times when I was a kid

and kids would like, are they making fun of me? They are definitely making fun of you. Oh, come on. Sorry. What are you talking about you? We do this to everybody. It's all right. You do?

It means we like you. You do? It's having the initiation. But yes, we are making fun of you. Okay. Okay, well, sorry, Tree. Wait, are the trees really alive? No, they are. Yeah, so all are.

Okay, sorry, Tree. But that was kind of fun just joking it. Yeah. The tree appreciates it. Well, anyways, why don't you guys just do the Sun Tree thing? Yeah. Well, we can't really do that. We need to know where the trees that we're going to be going well.

You have a pretty good relationship with the tree. It's a lot of tree science and all. If you could maybe potentially help me, meet men. I haven't been there. I can potentially. No. You haven't been to small. I haven't been there.

But we can... Why were you just talking like the meat man? Oh no, the meat man's here. I have not been to the place we are going. I do not know of any tree. The only one who's been there is Lylel. You've been there. Yeah.

I was the one who saw and told you guys about it. Were there trees? Yeah, there were a couple like dead-looking trees, not huge ones. How big do they have to be? They looked dead? They looked a little dead-ish. They were dead.

I'm pretty dead. Do they have to be alive? Yeah. I think so. Right? I really wanted to see that Suntree thing. We'll use it to go back. Cool.

Would you prefer to be a cloud? I could be a cloud? I could be a cloud, but I'm going to blow a seven-level spell for it. How many people can you do? Because we also have Doty. Ten? That's... Let me see.

And you turn on a tomatom, a robot to cloud. We're too many. Did we do that already? We're not too many. No, we're not. We're 10 exactly. Are we?

Yeah, trinkets and a nectus. Doty, Terry and Scanlan. Oh, shit. Terry and and Scanlan. That's 10. That's 10. Yeah. Oh, it's no.

That's blowing us. Seven. How long is it's like to get up there to hike up there? 290 miles. Oh. We walk. Is a sixth level spell.

Oh, well, that's good. But I've already used my six level spell to transport via Pam. That's what I'm saying. Oh, that's true. I got you. So I'm going to have to use a separate little spell to do it. This is true.

That's perfect. And it's 10 creatures. Does that work on Doty? 10. Yeah. So you'll be able to get all of you. Oh, that's another question is, would it work on Doty? Does it work on metalmen?

Willing creatures. Ten please consider it a creature for the targeting reason of spells and effect, so yeah. Terry. So we can do that, but then we might want to rest? Sure. Sure. Orland, we can do some scouting, take a look. We can just hike.

I won't be completely tapped out. It's a pretty long. We can camp it up if we need to. It'll take more than a data to get there anyway, so this way we just save some time and we'll take a day to take a look around. Let's go. It's Lionel, this is really awesome. You like it.

For real, you're going to like this. Ready? Ready? Everybody joined hands, join hands, join hands. Can we have to join hands for this? We don't at all. Not at all. Can we still do it?

I still do it. Yeah. Poof. All right, you guys feel a warm, magical effect go through you. As you concentrate and consider yourself being a cloud. You are the cloud. You open your eyes, Lionel, and look, and you are a fucking cloud. You're like 20 feet up.

Oh, check this out. As you do that, you watch this more clouds, Spick goes, and it's just more cloud. Your body's moisture when you try and talk it just goes, so you can't really talk. Can't really talk. You're a cloud. Here you are.

So if you wanted to, you could spend a minute to concentrate and revert back, and you can do that for up. You have an eight-hour period where you can just turn back and forth. We should probably concentrate for just a minute. I'm going to turn back. All right. Joyce, just so I can shout out. We should all follow. You know how to get there, right, Lionel?

Bob up and down if it's a yes. Okay. We're going to follow you. All right. and when it's ready to land, then just hover down, and we'll all follow your lead. That's totally normal. We all do it.

All right. All right. So you all go into your missed forms and begin to follow after Lionel's Reed. As you guys coast over the upper areas of Ancquerel, it's a beautiful view looking down on this gorgeous city, just this glittering jewel of color and architecture. One of the older cities in Exandria,

that portions of it seem to have survived elements of the Age of Arcandums and the calamity in one of the first societies to spring up thereafter. And it's just, it's beautiful to see this history, far longer than that of Taldore even, or at least the human society's Taldore, just standing obstinate against the dark oppression of the surrounding desert.

You continue to head in that direction. I need you to roll survival check. Survival check. So we might get lost. Oh, and then add that to your survival. Survival plus one. 14. 14. All right.

So you're traveling at an incredible speed. Like you're used to like walking speed, running speed sometimes, maybe horsey speeds. This is a very, very fast. You just coasting through the air right just with something. somebody against the set, and the night begins to hit. You keep relatively low to the ground, so you have your dark vision to kind of see the topography and get an idea of where it's going in the direction.

You can look up and see the stars above, and you've traveled, and you've been amongst this desert most of your life, so you have a good sense of how to follow that. And because of that, you're able to maintain your directional position towards the Smoldercrown Mountains. You push on about halfway through the journey. You can see little flames occasionally in distance. It looks to be like either caravan camps or bandit camps, or or various nomad circles that are set up for the night where like different campfires are placed

there whether as beacons, traps, or just people to stay warm for the evening. You know best not to stop whenever you see a flame in the middle of the desert. The winds are picking up and getting colder. The stark contrast between the temperature of the day and the night here is immense. And your moisture form takes on the cold fairly quickly

and you feel, even though you're in this form, the chill still kind of captures you a bit as your condensation means to slightly crystallize in places. But you push on. One more survival check, please. 15. Yeah. 15.

And without an issue or any sort of a loss of step or position, eventually you watch as the ominous spire-like, kind of jagged dagger-topped smoldercrown mountains begin to break the horizon to make their way towards you. You're now, at that speed, hasn't been that long since you left, maybe a few hours out of Encorel. So you're maybe around 10 o'clock in the evening or so, 10.30. We'll go ahead and move over here to a non. I was going to argue that since he has the duck totem, that technically he would have a natural migration sense of what direction he was going to go. But not necessary, but not necessary.

But good for holding on to that. Yeah, just thought I'd put that out there. I feel like his duck sense would be tingling. Always knows where South is. Not deny, recognized, but unnecessary in the moment. Unnecessary, but worth noting. Worth noting indeed. But yeah.

So these spires the mountain are surprisingly steep. They're steeple-like, almost in a lot of places. They're all jutting up like these gargantuan spikes that were pressed out of the earth from some sort of land mass shift or some volcanic activity long, long ago. But you can see, they're densely packed rock formations. And the mountain cluster is maybe at most,

let's say, three miles, four miles across. It's not a very, very big mountain range. And it's called Smolder Crown because the circular pattern or the somewhat oval-like pattern of the mountains that rise up. It resembles at a distance like a king's crown in the way that it circles around itself. You recall one of three different interests is the one that was safest that you guys took

when you entered kind of the central portion of the mountain range from the outside, and you guide the rest of them to the exterior of this place. You can see it's a small valley between two of the exterior mountains that kind of collide together, and there is a valley path where you see a number of dried trees, Some do appear to be alive, Kieleth, though they're designed to weather extreme droughts.

They seem to have some weird fruit that they're bearing, kind of dripping off some of the branches. But the leaves themselves are brown and withered, and you haven't quite seen plant life like this before. Plant la la la la la la la. Does it look like it's natural decay? If you want to go and approach it and inspect it, you can. How far? We're some clouds? You guys are about maybe 100 feet up or so, and you've just now hit the edge of the Smolter Crown mountain range.

Starting to go into the entrance. Yes. Or the entrance of the mountains. You know, I haven't found an entrance to the actual mountain rock itself yet. Are we going to go on foot from here? That's up to you guys. I think we've got a little closer. I'll wait till we get closer. From up here does the mountain formation

look like it's naturally formed or like from some sort of other event? Like is it like seismically formed? Make a nature check. Oh, not good. Okay, 16. 16, not bad. They appear to be sizically formed. You can see some of the rocks, the way they rise up in the smaller areas,

are an angle where it's smooth on one side, and you can see the layers beneath where portions of the earth seem to have been jammed, jammed, cracked, and pushed upward. But because it's so localized, it isn't like there's tectonic, you know, plate shifting or anything. It's not a mass range. Most mountain ranges are long, driven locations that mark where those various boundaries are. This is just a central formation. So your uncertainness to what the nature of its creation was, but it seems natural. Beautiful Bob Ross Mountains. Just like, just lightly touched. Just in the distance. Happy action. Happy acts. Happy little TPK. I had a little TPK.

Percy, can I have your old perception check, please? Yes, I'm not gonna roll that because even, I feel like that's yours, moment. What did I do? It landed on other dice. I'm gonna let it be there, though. Actually, yeah, it's 20. Okay, you, Mr. Human, with no actual dark vision,

do not get lost on the path. Tarian, can I have you also roll a perception check? 15 plus something. Minus one. 14. Okay, so you fall a little behind the group. Doty has low light vision, I think. Doody has dark vision.

Yeah, so I'll hold my hand. We'll say that Doty manages to get you caught up a little bit. You fall a bit behind, but you do manage to find the rest of the team. You don't get terribly lost in the middle of the dark desert sky of these small wisps of cloud with no light other than starlight there to guide your path forward. They begin to just pull ahead and vanish. And at the horizon, you freak out until Doty eventually finds you to cloud and you swear you hear the wind go. And you continue to push forward, eventually leading you to the outside of this entrance

of Smolter Crown where the rest of them have gathered. You guys are going to slowly push into the valley that makes its way towards the center of Smolter Crown following Lionel's lead. These trees that you notice, Kila, they're sporadic in place. And there is kind of scrub brush. Sparse. There are areas the ground where it's dried and cracked. The bad lands here. The sands of the desert and from the big storms largely don't make it into the center of the valley because of the mountains protected. While there are elements of it here and there, you can see the topography in the landscape here is very like dried, cracked, red earth. A little moisture seems to be contained here and the plant life that exists here is designed to subsist on very, very little water. You eventually come, Lionel, to the area where you believe you found the last entrance.

Make an investigation check, if you didn't mind. Oh, 21. 21. Okay, then. You very quickly look around and recall some of the landmarks. I'm still in cloud form. You're still in cloud form. But you see some of the landmarks that seem to triangulate where you originally found the entrance. However, to truly search in this area, you'd have to get low and probably go to your physical form to seek it out.

All right, so you take a minute to concentrate and you revert back into your half-orc form. I go down and do it too. Okay. Everyone else joining him? Sure. All right, so the rest of the party goes and they take their physical form. Oh, you're already here. Okay. That was awesome, guys.

You're able to see in the dark for a decent mountain. You kind of walk the perimeter of the space where the first cavern was, and you feel around, and you gather that there was a path here, but it looks like there's been a small cavern. A lot of the rocks appear like they've been recently fallen in, and there's some sort of a grade to them where you watch loose rocks seem to have recently been tossed around that are of a deeper set red color, and haven't been quite as weathered as the exterior of the mountain appears to be.

So apparently the entrance that you originally used either has collapsed on its own or was intentionally shut. I could have sworn it was right here, you guys. I don't know what's with all these rocks. It looks like it was caved in, actually. This is 100% this part? I'm pretty sure. I mean, I don't have the best memory or knowledge or brains or really many skills, but I'm pretty sure this was it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. Lionel. Does it look deliberate or does it look natural? It could be. I have an idea, you guys. Let's ask the ducks. Where are they? Are there ducks here? There's no ducks here. No, the middle of it doesn't.

Well, we can see if there are if we commune with ducks. The cave-in is not natural. The rocks, you can see the portion of the archway where the natural mountain rock becomes the rock slide. It seems to fill the space. There is no damage that seems to be seismic or quaked. And you can see what appear to be some cleft sides at the edge of this entrance where it appears like elements of it

were actually hacked or damaged until it eventually fell in. Are there any kind of tracks around or footfalls that look like it was recent? Roll for you would be a survival check because you're a tracker. And Kiki, can you tell how. And it's a mountain. Can you tell how deep that is? Actually, you think they might have trapped it?

I'm not even gonna roll that one again. Wait till she has a look and then I'll take a look. Yeah, that's way better. 27. Nice. As you guys are having this moment and you get low to the ground and begin to read the patterns of the different rocks that have tumbled and left small grooves

and a little bit of dust and sand that does reside over this, this dark caked dirt and rock. And you do notice a number of footprints. They're scattered a bit, some of them older, some of the manure. There's been a lot of foot traffic in and out of this cavern fairly recently, even if it was like a week or so ago. And you begin to follow the track. Some lead back the path you came and some seem to circle around further into the valley around this mountain. Ooh. I think I've picked something up. Should we follow it now? Should we camp out and

do it in the morning? A cover for me. I'm going to drop down and do a commute. with nature. Okay. How do we cover you? As your nature covers it. Can I, can I, can I, can I commune together and do bonuses? Can I be like, can you call your ducks?

That's what I was trying to do. All right. I'll say as you begin to cast the spell, you take Lionel's hands and focus. And Lionel, you just close your eyes and you just imagine before you the most beautiful desert duck that could ever exist. exist. And for a good 45 seconds, 50 seconds, 60 seconds, nothing. And that kind of

sadness in your heart sinks a bit that perhaps, perhaps Ais or Scanlan, as these weird people keep calling him, said, maybe there are no ducks here. And you hear, out of the darkness, it runs in the side of the mountain, tumbles down onto the ground. It's a miracle. That's a duck! You can call them to you? I don't know. I mean, I just, normally that happens.

I just thought they're everywhere. That's amazing. Do they obey you, or is it a partnership? Could you call multiple to you, and they, like, pick you up and fly you into the air? Look, I just talk to them. It's okay. All right. It's not question this.

So which of you wants to commune with the duck? With the duck, let the expert. Ask him. Okay, what do we want to know? How deep is the caven? How deep is the cave? Okay. To the duck.

They knew about the others. Sure, sure. I asked the duck, how deep is the caven? Okay. Duck. Hey, hey. Yeah, hold on. 20 feet.

That's a chillest thug duck, y'all. You couldn't understand that. It was like, you guys, that duck was really chill. I can tell his body language is a stupid chill for a duck. 20 feet. Okay. What else do we want to? Do we want to ask if you recognized, like, who did this?

That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Greenie. How, uh, who did this? What caused the, the caven? People. Well, that was... Is there another... You know, I have a similar problem when I try to talk to cows.

They have face blindness. I'm just going to just stealthily start following them. So could be, are there any other people around here? Is there another entrance into this cat? That's good, that's good. Other entrances? Entrances. Should we ask the nearest, where's the nearest entrance?

Or the safest entrance? How many you have? How many? Okay, how many... Are there other entrances? Where are there? Oh, maybe we should... Okay.

Hey, Greenie, how many other entrances are there to this mountain? Two. One, two. One. Oh, now's three questions. Is that two including this entrance? We're out of questions.

Oh, he's a duck takes off. Greeney! Oh! Duck-Hud, shoot it! Max! We went to ask where's entrances are... I'm sorry, guys. There's another one. It's good. It's fine.

There's another entrance. In fact, I might be able to, I can double down on this. Can I now do my commune with nature? Sure. And see if I can map out this cavern. And find the other entrances. Okay, so as you now, see, on you focus, you can sense the guardian duck that was temporarily

summoned was now wandering out to the desert, probably to dehydrate and die morefully when the morning light comes. I don't know about this. I don't know about this. Oh, he's going home to his family. He's going to the fall. In a way, yeah. However, you connect and you can feel your spiritual essence

connect with the land here. In the landscape, it's something you're not used to. Elements of it remind you of pyro, they're not as visceral and volcanic, but the general kind of heat and barren aspect of the landscape is familiar in some ways. So as you extend yourself, you can breathe and you feel the land breathe with you,

and as that communion hits, you feel you could ask some questions of the terrain. Where are the other two entrances into this cavern? You get, as is the essence of answering these questions, you sense that there is one near the top of the spire, and there's one not terribly far from where you are, kind of continuum. inward towards the valley, but it doesn't specify directly where.

It doesn't put an X on your map for you. You just know that one's kind of towards the top and one's further around the path you were going. Can I hang on around? Okay. How deep is the ziggurat from here? Can I sense the other ziggurat? You focus and you sense that there is almost like a... Like a cyst in the ground. You can sense some subterranean cavern

maybe about 400, 500 feet into the heart of the mountain from where you currently sit. And you can sense there this kind of pulsing darkness, almost like a terrible cancerous heartbeat in the center of this land. How many people around? Has anybody been through that upper passageway? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Can I sense any other... Maraudering douchebats. You can ask questions about people, powerful celestials, Faye, fiends, elementals are undead, influenced by beings of other existences. Humanoids? Can I say that like humanoids? You want to try and sense some humanoids? Yeah. Okay, you ask about it.

Your attention is shifted back towards that weird kind of cyst-zigarot area in the center of the mountain, and the land seems to give you the idea that there are a number of humanoids there right now. Oh, shit. Do they look like cultisty people? You don't have a visual. Your vision is brought there.

You just kind of sense that they're there. They're inside the mountain. What? I could have told you there was people at the pyramid. Last time. We see it now. Well, you didn't. I don't know.

I said there's like all these cool cult people. Oh. Wow. Well, yeah, they could leave. But that's good to know that they're still there. They are still there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.

All right. There are people inside. A decent amount of people. Uh, so Vex has gone. Um, what's Vex? Oh, oh, God. What did you find out? A lot of people, there's another entrance nearby.

I think if we further down this path, it's close. Well, Vex went this way. Is it in that direction? What? What do you mean? She went where? She just took off. She went for a...

You actually didn't see the direction she went. Ah. Did we see footprints going in a direction though you described? Nobody else did. Only she was tracking. Oh, great. So literally all turn around and vex is just gone. I think there's also an entrance of the top of the spire. If we want to do a down, downward approach, but that seems risky. You follow the tracks in about... ...the top of the spire.

They're less likely to know about it since... It's about 200 or so feet around the edge, and you have to kind of follow them between a few smaller, kind of rocks that are jutting out at the base of the mountain and the terrain itself kind of rolls a bit and cracks in places. and there's small fissures from like recent rains that cause the earth to kind of just, you know, well up and tear in places. And eventually the tracks curve in towards the mountain and end, and it's just sheer mountain.

There's no sign of an entryway visually. Can I search for one? Make an investigation check. Do I get advantage because it's a mountain? You do, actually, yes. Favorite terrain. Fucking balls. Perception?

Investigation. No, I want perception. You get an investigation. 11. 11? Yeah. You have no idea where the entrance is. Like the tracks end in this general vicinity, and it's just rock.

There aren't even doesn't like there's hand holds. Weird. I'm going to assume that you told us. I wonder if it's an illusion. Can I, like, put my hand on the rocks and see if there's an illusion? Okay. You put your hands out to feel against the rock, and your hand passes through. Oh, damn!

What? I feel like Vex is really good at finding illusion. Yeah. I'm just kidding. She's really good. Oh, shit. Okay, well, can I put just the front of my face through the wall and see what I see? Sure.

You poke in to the darkness, and it is pitch black on the inside. As you poke past the illusion, it's about maybe two inches or so of this kind of rocky, heavy orange, red stone. As you peer in, you can see a cavern about 10 feet wide or so, and about 12 to 10 feet tall. Natural along the walls, you can see. see the ground itself is smoothed over, and it's straight. It's just a straight tunnel. It's not like rocky natural formation. It's like it was just pushed and carved into the rock,

like something heavy or something very focused just drove through. You glance over to the side and you catch what appears to be a face in the wall, like about that big around. And it's just, it's featureless. You just see like two eye sockets and a mouth and a note. and you see a flash of green light. Oh shit. Oh, shit. I need you to make a Constitution saving throw. Well, it's too late.

Constitution saving throw? Can we also say that we put our earrings back in the next day? I assume you did. Yeah. Because we're professionals? Yeah. That was almost so good, but then it wasn't. 10.

10. No, that does not succeed. I'm a rogue now, you guys. I'm a rogue now, you guys. I have to poke it. You take 61 points of necrotic damage. As a familiar sting, as the green light flash turns into a piercing beam of life-draining energy, one that once almost brought you to the edge of death before as it hits you. You feel your breath and life as sucked out of your nose and mouth and ears, like a, like a, like a, a, you know.

like a giant vacuum. It's just pulling the essence out of your body. The veins bulge. You can't breathe, and you pull yourself back out of the illusory wall and have to just gasp for a moment. You guys hear the gasping as you begin to approach that side. And you find her sister, they're kind of grabbing herself.

Not full chick. What happened? What happened? Don't go through the wall. There's a face and it sucks your life out. I found a door there, guys. Don't go through that. Where's the door?

Don't. I'm not even to tell you where the door is. I'm not going to tell him where the door is. We don't see a door. It's not like. I don't see a door. Stop, stop, stop, stop. Nobody touch the rocks.

There's a bad door somewhere around here. There's a bad door. Just listen for a moment. Bad door. Right in front of me, fake bad door. If you go through it, there is a very bad face that sucks your life out. Bad face. Yeah. There's a door you cannot see and a bad face.

and a bad face sucks your life away. Yeah, I'm gonna take my oracle arrow and just like crouched down. Before you do that, are you sure that's, you're gonna just shoot something in there? What if they see it fly in? That's why I was gonna crouch down and shoot the arrow super low to the ground.

What if they still see the arrow fly in? Well, when I peaked my head in before I got, my life sucked out, I didn't see anything in front of me, did I? I'm going to assume that before we had her gasping, that Keyleth was filling us in. I would like to- So I think it's right around like that direct,

follow the gasping. Follow the gasping. It feels like it's really close to the gasping. Oh. I'm going to go, I'm gonna go check out the top. Okay. Give me shit and then take off on your own. Well, I'm not gonna stick my face in something.

All right, so you fly up. You're gonna stop, I'm gonna stop. 60 feet around. It'll take you probably a good, five minutes or so to make your way towards the topish and inspire. As you're going, as you're going, make an investigation check. Investigation. Can I stealth as cloud? Are you going to cloud? Yeah, man. I thought you're doing your wings. Because cloud, you get there really fast. Yeah.

Okay. So you make it up there. You cannot, I will say for the purposes of this. I mean, I'm not going high, I'm going through the treetops. Yeah, so yeah, so make itself check. All right, I will. That is very good. That is a 35. 35, 35, okay. As far as you understand, no one seems to see you. Make an investigation check as you make a ramp the mountainside to check for any sort of entrances. You should mark off one of your lux because you already used it for the day. I did. It's on the plastic. Keep him honest. Oh man. I love you so wholeheartedly and on a regular basis you kick me in the gooly. I don't understand it.

Good old four luck O'Brien. Brian. It's seven. Seven luck. You guys aren't paying it. It's not per game. It's per day. So if we go to bed, it resets.

Yeah. Fart knockers. I'm doing investigation. Yes. That's 18. 18. Because I hear it over and over. You glide around there for a good 10, 15 minutes or so, scouring the edge.

And like, you have, all you know is it's near the top, and you see no sign of an entrance. Okay. It's not like a volcanic hole or anything, but it's just a secret entrance. No. She told you they're supposed an entrance, but you see nothing.

It's just sheer rock. There are a couple of like indents that could be like the cave entrances, but when you get close, you can see it's just like a small alcove that ends. Maybe you should try sticking your face against some of the sheer rock face. I return to my loving sister, kind and good. I land and say I saw another face,

but I didn't stick my face in it because that would be stupid. Oh, well, you know. I wonder if there's another face behind the cave in. You know what? I should probably find out. And I shoot the Oracle arrow. Okay. You shoot the Oracle arrow in? Wait, into the caven or where the... No, into the... The tunnel.

How far do you fire? Is it full strength? Is it like a lob? No, no. I don't want to go like crazy far. I want to get in a little bit further to see if I can find any more traps and see like how that face works. What percentage of your strength do you shoot it at? 70, 50, 25 percent of my strength is used. Okay. As you release it, it's still a good distance. It continues through. As you go past the face, where the one that, where you shot the green light,

you can see the front of it's kind of darkened now from where it before it was kind of untouched. Cruise is past, you see just the formations. It looks like there's some cool designs here and there. You begin, the arrow eventually comes to rest. You don't see anything of interest as you pass by that quickly. You do see a very, very faint glow. down the hall. You can see just the glimmer of light. As you watch for a moment, it's shifting ever so slightly flickering like firelight.

I think there's a fire further in. Was the face there? The face is in there. Was it doing the life-sucking thing? Not to my arrow, but it was there on the wall. I didn't see. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we should like to spell it as something. We all would have to go in. I got your back, Rock. No, no, no, you guys, don't go with. I can dispel magic still. Maybe you can dispel magic.

Let's see if there's a second entrance. Well, there is a second entrance. One is up top. Well, if they think, they're going to think we're coming in through here because they know about this. Maybe they don't know about the other one. So we could maybe be super tricky and take an entrance they don't know about at all. I can clear out the cave-in.

I imagine if someone is trying to cause an intentional cave-in, they're anticipating no one going through that. cave in and we can start that. I at least slow my way in if we cleared that. If I were expecting people, I'd expect them through the entrance I take or the caven, not a third entrance I don't know about. But they do know about the upstairs. Sorry. He said there's a face.

There's a third entrance. That's lower. No, it's up. Higher. No, I thought that was a higher one. Terry. Okay, hang on, hang on. There are three entrances.

The cave in. The one where we're back. The X just got exploded and one through the top of the spire. Correct. Which I could not find. Which he couldn't find. Should we take a group look for the top of the spire? If we go through the cave-in entrance, I can clear it out.

I will clear one of my last high-level spells, but Lionel knows his way through that way. Oh, here's a crazy... Oh, here's a crazy question. But I can clear it tonight. We could just make a tiny hole in the cavern and become smoke and go inside. Is that not possible? He asked that maybe quite possible. be quite possible, actually.

So that they wouldn't even know that we had cleared it. It would just be relatively untouched. Can we camp out inside? It's a gash this form, so yeah. We can squeeze through like an inch. See that that's a camp right in front of the front door after just triggering a spell. We just, somewhere to sleep.

We just, oh, Scanlan. It's an all a great idea. We've been so long without you, I forgot we had it. So we can camp inside the cave. Oh my God, we have to imagine. I mean, only if you want to, I remember that being a sore spot. I don't even know if you guys want me to come in with you. I've taken you this far.

But if you need me in there, I'll come. Oh, buddy. Come on, man. No, you'll be coming. All right. Just cause. Let's make a hole and go in, and then we can camp the night inside. I think some of my dead comrades we could use as pillows.

They're probably still in there. That may not be necessary. Oh, dear. Body pillow. Or use their skin as blankets. I'm so proud of you. It's a dark pike. I'm so proud of you!

That was amazing! Holy shit. It's a body pillow. So what's the plan, guys? The best kind of body pillow is a real one. We're going to go back to the cave-in. Oh, wait, wait. I did have a question.

I feel like it might be smart to get my arrow out of that. In case anybody comes out and she's an arrow. Oh, God. You do. But I don't know. I don't know how to do that. Is there like an unseen servant or something? I'll run in real fast. No, do not do that. No.

Let him go. Let him go. Let him go. No. Scanlan, that's not what I'm... I can go get it. No, I don't want you to go in. It's easy.

I'll be there and back in two seconds. How far did it go? But there's a face-sucking thing. I'm going to just start heading to figure out the engineering on the wall. You're not entirely certain. I'd say a couple hundred maybe. A couple hundred maybe? Oh, Jesus.

150? You did 65% of your. Yeah, 65% of my strength. You know within 100 feet. It's a fourth strength, that's like 8 feet. Can you see? Yeah, how about this? Why don't you shoot an arrow right now outside the cave?

Same strength and see how far it goes. You got it. Okay, so what's the range on your bow? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah. Fenthras, exalted. Well, it's a long bow. It's just a general long bow.

Do you have that written? No. What? Like 120 feet? Is it that or is it more? It's 150 is your first increment and then 600 is your second increment. Holy sh-600? Yeah.

65 is like 400 feet. Approximately, yeah. Or the closest wall. Did it hit a wall? It did not hit a wall. 400 feet. That's really fine. All right.

No, but how would you do it? How would you do it? I have way. He can. Can you see through the mouth of this face that you saw when you were in there? I saw eyes. Was it a black hole? There was no eyes.

It was just empty sockets, a mouth and a nose. And then suddenly the sockets became to glow green for a second, and then the... The sockets glowed green and then I got hit. So you couldn't see through the mouth. It was just like a dark mall. Right, but the eyes glowed. You're just going to go in there, Scanlan? You want to come? How are you going to do this?

The way I always go. Guys go, dimension door. What if I can reach you that far in? I can't. How do you know? I assume. Well, I'm not going with you. Great.

I'll go with you. You can't take me. I'll just go. Okay. Dimension door, 400 feet straight in. Wait, I'll go with him. I'm going to go with you. Okay.

I'm keeping my eye on him. All right. You guys appear inside the cavern. inside the cavern. Darkness, you can see the firelight ahead, the flicker at the end of the tunnel, and you can see the tunnel, like the straight portion of it,

maybe 100 feet forward, begins to shift and bend a little bit. It starts to turn into more of a natural cavern as it goes. Like whatever drove its way in here has merged with a natural path on the inside of the mountain, possibly even merged with the caven path.

You look on the ground and both you guys make investigation checks, if you don't mind. Investigation, 30. Oh, jeez. I'm sure he found something. And the time it takes you to go, okay, we're looking, he said, found it.

Find the arrow, little dust kind of drifts off it, and as you're walking, you can see that there's a softness to the ground here. You get the sense that the formation, whatever rock was pushed through here was, because there's no pile of rock outside, There's no symbol of the earth that was carved out of this tunnel recently, it seems, placed anywhere. There's just an absence of rock, and there's a heavy layer of dust on the ground. Will you hold my hand?

No, no, don't push your luck. You guys, Banff back out at the outside, you watch this Scanlan and Pike re-emerge from the outside. Scanlan holding your arrow triumphant. Oh, it's dusty. Was it dusty in there? Yes, it was dusty. It was dusty in there. It was very dusty.

No, soft untread earth. Oh, weird. Thank you. Oh, no. Oh, no. Maybe this is the unused entrance. Maybe the cave-in is the more recent. I saw, I see tracks coming in and out of this place.

I know this people use this. Yeah, fairly recent tracks. Oh, okay. But you saw no footprints inside? Well, we forgot. Did you? seen something, did you look? No, I forgot I was looking for the arrow.

That was our mission. Well, I was just making sure you weren't gonna run away, so I was, I was, for y'all right. So you guys both accomplish your missions. Awesome. Wow. Thanks. Thanks, therapy, Chod.

Yeah, besides, Ben. Unless somebody can just fucking dispel that face and then we can just go in this way. I could attempt it. I have to spell magic with me right now. Or we can miss. All right, I'll do it. To camp out tonight.

Yeah. In the mansion, by a fire, whichever. In the mention, yeah. Yeah. All right. Vax, will you help me? I've already been looking for a way into the cave in while you've all been being ridiculous.

You're already going back? Oh, the minute he suggested that he get it, I didn't want to be a part of that, so I just immediately went in to just start testing to see if there was ways if we could even just meld through the cave in or if we actually had to make a hole. So you're just, you're in the, You're inspecting?

Yeah, I mistied out of that the minute that he started working on it. Okay. So you're just over, current looking for a way through? I'm just seeing if I could find ways through and... You can manage to squeeze through a few crevices between the stones and rock, but it's pretty densely packed. You get maybe five feet in before you can't really find a way to get your whole mist form through. So I'm going to start, and I'm going to back to normal, and I'm at the very top of the pile looking to see if I can just start scraping through using my sword to sort of... Okay, makeup. So you're working on that.

Travis. What are you guys? It's 20 feet deep. 20 feet. Are we trying to dispel the magic, or are we going in the other way? Maybe we should just make a decision. I'm trying to spell the magic.

Okay. So you walk up to the illusory wall. Okay, I'm having vex to be like, tell me where it is. Where it is, where it is? Can I prepare it somewhere as soon as I poke my head in, I can be like, the kink.

Okay, you poke your head in, and as soon as you glance off at the side, you can see the stone face in the wall. Cast the spell magic. Doesn't seem to have an effect. Oh, bail, bail. Bell, out, out. Oh!

It didn't hit you that fast? Huh? It didn't hate you? Nope. There was no attack on the face either. I get the distinct impression, perhaps. I used it up. You used it up and probably alerted them that somebody was at that entrance.

Let's do, what? Let's move away from the entrance. Wait, I peek my head back in and kind of do like a... Glance in. No trigger, nothing. The vase seems to know. I peeked my head in, does the flames, the flickering light in the distance seem brighter? Make your perception check.

It's too many choices, too many, too many dice. Too many dice. The guy is so many. Fucking shit, motherf-f-. Wasn't the light seen by the arrow? It's a mountain. It is a mountain. You get to have an advantage.

That's what Rangers do, then. Yes. Is it the light seen by the arrow? Yeah. So if being a how- You're looking at the face. No, I'm looking in the fucking towel. The face is on the side of it.

It's beyond, it's in the front. Yeah. So depending on how high her perception is, she may, now that she sees the flicker at the end, she might be able to see something. So, how high did you roll? 31. That would be high enough to just barely

focus your half-elven eyes and glance down, you get to see the very faint bead of light to the very tip, and it doesn't seem to have changed over the next 30 seconds, next minute, next two minutes, or you focus intently. You don't see any shift or change. Okay. Well, we could. So you think the face is like recharging or... I think I might have used up its only charge, potentially, or is recharging. It's like a booby trap that used once. Yeah. I will take a look at it and look at the area and see if there's...

Anything left to it or other traps? Okay, make an investigation check. Meteorite die. Well, if he's going in, Tarian will go in and identify the thing. Okay. I'll go and make an archaunt and check. 19. 19? Okay, you glance by, you check it.

As you both are looking at, both Tarian and Vax approach the face. And the face is rudimentary. The carving is rudimentary. It looks more like it was prepared as the basis of, what did you roll? 17, but I've got identify. Yeah, yeah. There's no magical essence to it. to it any longer.

Oh, I see. But your Arcona Check shows that you can see that there are certain small carvings in the network to be some sort of sigel, a glyph that is designed to hold a spell until triggered, and then it's released. Actually, Pike, you've used this once before. Oh, it's a glyph of warding spell that is utilized to hold a spell in and release it upon some sort of a trigger. So it's one time use, so we're good to go in this way if we do.

Yeah, we're good to go in. Because the glive of warding alert you once it's gone off? I don't think so. You don't recall, you didn't know your glyph went off until you found the destroyed body of the prisoner that you had released in Western long ago. Oh, right. The guy that was standing on that gold. And then I think we also put one on the top of the loop for the dragon or something. That's the one they got him.

He tried to get some money on the way out and he just found his body just blown up and dragged about 20 feet off before he expired. Okay, okay, okay. Yeah. I don't, yeah, I don't think it alerts anybody. Okay, good. Yeah, we're probably all safe going in. going in. I'm going to cast pass that I trace on us. I'm going to see how many people I can cast it on.

On, hey, Percy. Yes. Every creature I choose within 30 feet of me. So sweet, it's everybody. Yep. All right, so all of you guys, you notice Lionel, as you guys step in, even in your dark vision, which, by the way, it is, for your two human companions, it is complete darkness. Like, you have a little bit of starlight and your eyes had adjusted about.

You can see the edges and the rims of different. shapes within the mountain range, but once you step past the illusory barrier into the interior of the cavern, it is just darkness. Is Percy back yet? Yes, I just got back. Percy. Hold on to my waist, dear. Can we use our flashlights or no? No, no, I think so.

I'm going to stay 30 feet in front of the group and continue to check the traps. Okay. Stealthy, stelf. All right, so everyone roll stealth. And add 10 to it. We'll add 10 to it. Roll a D20. Jody's going to click his boots of whatever.

Whatever. He has boots of elven. Right, they give him a bonus on stealth checks? Yeah, elven kind. So to nine, wait. 26. 26. 30.

That's never going to happen again. Vex? 25. 37. Pike is more stealthy than Vex. It's because Percy's holding on my waist. I understand. 26.

Are you giggling? 21. 28. Nice. Scanlan got 29. Tarian got 25. And Doty got a 2. Oh, no.

Oh, my God. But with his boots, what does his boots do? The boots give him advantage on the stealth checks. He gets to roll again. Oh, 17. Okay. Last 10. Yeah.

There you go. All right. So you guys silently make your way in. in, I would like a marching order on this because it is about 10 feet wide this tunnel. And you guys are gonna have, you can only go in there at two at a time, shoulder to shoulder. He's got the best night vision. Twinsie, Elmsdown. Actually, Doty has the best night vision. He's got complete dark vision.

Oh, we all have dark vision. No. So Vax and Pike up the front. We have dark vision. Okay. So we all got dark vision. We didn't take a nap. We didn't take a nap. Nope, nope. Should we be camping? Maybe in a little bit. I'm all right. I'm all right with the notion of getting a little deeper into this.

All right, so Pike and Vax at the front? All right. Who's after them? Obviously, I'm, oh. Me and Percy. Yeah. I tug on Vax's shirt just to let him know I'm there. I feel like a good old Chod should be near the tip of the spear since he knows the inside of this place a bit, right? That's true. What did he have been? I haven't been, oh. A little 28, I think. Have I been in this area? You haven't been in this specific time? So you haven't seen anything that looks familiar.

The path that you went before was a natural cavern. This one is pushed straight through. But yeah, but I can see how, like, I'm the only one who's been in this mountain, so there may be a little trust. I got this. I haven't been here, but I got it. All right, so do you push your radar towards the front? Sure. All right, so Pike and Vax, is you guys moving forward, your Bard-Berry and friend kind of pushes aside and kind of muscles up to become the point. I cropped us all of you, I say.

Oh, Jesus. All right, after that, after Pike and, sorry, after Percy and Vex. I'll go. All right, Keeleth and Gustavitarian, Scanlan. Terrian next, with Doty with him. Terry, with Doty behind. Doty is going to be two people in the cavern. Nobody can get behind. So who's behind Doty?

Me. All right, Grog. And. Scanlon will be in the rear. All right, so Scanlan is alongside Grog. alongside Grog. I imagine you have trinket in your necklace. All right. All right, so the very end, Grog, you're walking in the scound

there at your side and Doty walking in front of you, you're kind of lumbering, surprisingly quiet. And you get the sense the reason you're so stealthy in here is because as you step, it's soft. It's like stepping on a bunch of very, very fine powder. It's like, pf, and it helps cushion your footfalls. Oh. Like snow? Or ash?

Like ash, almost. Like a very, very fine dust. Can I, like, dip down and grab a bit of it? and kind of do like a nature check on it? Is it ash? Sure, make a nature check. And are there any footprints? It's cocaine.

I know, right? Are there any footprints? First she eats the soul, then she just does a line in the middle of the tunnel. Keelph's gone off the end. It's really bad. Typical Keylet. I know. Fifteen is not too bad.

You taste it and you smell it, it's not ash. It's very, very, very fine powder. Has an earthy rock taste to it. And are there any tracks of footprints ahead of Pike and I? Make a survival check. Survival. Where's he find out? Oh, that's good.

19. You do see some tracks stepping up and down, yes. Back both ways? Both ways. All right, so pushing forward another 30 or feet, roll another investigation check. No perception. Not for checking for traps, man, it's investigation.

Always been. 21. 21, okay. Fine, man wants to change the rules. 100 games in, I guess so. All right, so you continue moving forward. You do not see any traps, anything that catches your attention. The... I'm sorry. Can I just do a little... I'm going to scoop up a little bit and say, Percy, can I get a little bit of water added into this?

Can I do another nature check on what this is? You are fucking fascinated with the damn ash. I'm not going to tell you can make another nature check. You can't make another roll until you get a better one. It turns into an immediate mud. It's like a very, very fine silt almost. What color is... is the... is the... Is the rock? Under powder? The powder?

I can't see anything, can I? Never mind. You can't see nothing. Never mind. In fact, when you say, first, you get some water on this, you're like, I don't wear. You have to guide his hand. And is it dead silent in here? It's dead quiet from where you currently are.

You can make a perception check to listen and to see if you hear anything ahead. Slips, zub-z-z-up. 24. You listen carefully and you hear faint sounds of like footsteps and, like, scraping stone, and one little sounds like a... Sounds like a brief sucking sound, and that's it. Not alone. Something at the head.

I don't think we're camping. They won't find us. They can't see the door. What do you guys want to? You're in point. Keep going. I said you keep going if it's an emergency, we can all jump into the mansion.

Potentially. All right, maybe. I'll have to vet my boots. Does everybody okay, keep going? Okay. Oh, jebous. You continue. Super stealthy.

Yes. Another 40, 50 feet down the path, make another investigation check. No. Next. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Hell yeah. You go a little further ahead and you come upon what appears to be two more of those faces that are facing on the inside of the wall, maybe about 30 feet ahead, and you stop.

And you can see them both facing outward towards the center of the hallway. You shimmy your way up here. I get down on my hands and elbows. He points. He spread your legs. We'll get it all through us. Left and green. He points it out to you, and you can just barely see the kind of smooth walls, the kind of like almost oval circular passageway.

You can see the slight lift of the side rock where the faces kind of form a very faint profile. I'll scroach a few more inches and then use my last two or third level spiloscope. Okay. D20, add your wisdom modifier, please. Just my straight modifier? Yep. Fuck me, Gill. Okay, that's good, that's good.

Uh, 19 on the first one. Okay, roll again, second one. Uh, uh, 18 on the second, wait. Yeah, 18 on the second one. Okay, as you, take a moment, the first one releases and you watch as the face suddenly begins to glow with this, like, dull, kind of grayish, black, like, crackling energy,

and then, ff, The energy just seems to just vanish and disperse. With me hitting it? With the one on the left. You turn and release, dispel magic on the one on the right, and you watch the same effect happens, disperses as well. Keep going forward.

Okay. Should move slowly, and move slowly past. Okay. As you approach and step toward the space, right between the two faces are, you make one foot fall between the two of them. Nothing happens.

You successfully dispelled the effect. You sneaky. You continue to... I was like, ugh. Fun to fuck with you. What do you say? I wanted to fuck me. You continue pushing forward from the 50 or so feet.

You're starting to get fairly close at this point to where the arrow may have dropped. Oh, shit. You were right by fucking other faces when you popped in before. You moved a little bit beyond them. Make another investigation check. You're not there yet, but you're getting closer. 18. 18, okay.

Don't seem to notice. the sort of strange or different elements of the topography that were you. Be shone for another 40, 50 feet or so, and you're just now on the cusp of where the arrow dropped. Make another investigation check. Rolls over good. At least 18.

Oh, it's better than 18. It is 26. Okay. Okay. We don't notice any traps or any issues in the vicinity. You do see the footprints of Pike and Skalin where they first. arrived earlier before venturing into this cavern.

And pushing forward about 20 or so feet, the smooth cavern begins to turn into more of a natural, almost a volcanic tube type physicality to it. And you can see to the left, another tunnel merges with it. You begin to recognize this. It looks like this carved tunnel is now dovetailing into the path that you guys found your way and the one that was collapsed on the exit.

So now the path that you know, and the path you've traversing, have finally merged. into one singular path. I know this place, you guys. Let's go down the left one. There's one that's... If you can either go straight or there's one that does. The one that's on the left will lead you back to the entrance

where you first came in but it was collapsed, the one you knew. If you keep going straight, it'll lead you towards the light and where you saw these people last time you were here. Yeah. If we go left, it's going to take us back the other way. So that's safe, but we can keep going straight where that light is. Yeah, they might still be able to. Yeah, they might still be alone.

And I call it, hello! Okay. And that goes, oh, hello, hello. Everyone makes perception check. Oh, sorry. Right now I'm looking at the back of Grog's ass. That's his first. Oh, that's from 19. 19, 19.

10. 20. 22. 22. 21. All right. 13. 13.

19 you've got, right? Yeah, so 34. 34. Nice. Total. Perception. All right, everyone over 20. You listen out and you can hear very faint voices. Oh, that's it.

And it sounds like movement moving quicker. Scanlon. Sorry. Yeah. Maybe now's the time for that door. For the door? The mansion? Yeah. Let's run back to this.

Okay. It takes a minute to cast. We have a company coming. All right, where are your voices sound? I mean, they don't sound like they're getting louder. It just sounds like there's, I mean, it's not that they're coming closer, you just hear voices. Do you want me to? Okay, I want to do.

Let's backtrack to the cavedin tunnel. Maybe it's my friends. Let's backtrack to the Caveson tunnel and then set up the door. And set up a door there. You guys go, I'll wait here just in case. I'll stay with you. All right. Okay, you guys make a ready towards the cavedin entrance.

I'll stay with the two of you because I can't see shit and I'll slow you down. All right. You can't do shit. She likes if things happen, they're going to light up. It'll be all right. It's true. Okay. So you guys make your way back to the entranceway?

Actually, stay halfway between. You stay halfway between. Okay. It's roughly about 150, 200 feet in this direction. It's a shallower cavern to this area than the one you came through. It was a longer way in. But you managed to find the other end of this cave in. It's just rocks that are tumbled in and clustered.

Kieleth, you glanced. over and you see shapes moving in the light. And as you glance up ahead, about 30 feet ahead of you, you see six figures heading your direction. Humanoid. That's $100,000, yo. Six figures moving your direction? Oh, God. A brand new Tesla is coming this one. Oh, I don't think that's okay. We have people. We have people who came this way about six of them. Just letting you know, Probably going to be some fighting coming up. That is your update from the Voice of the Tempest.

Carry on. Okay, sorry. Maybe they don't want to fight us. All right, so you go ahead and you meet up with Keila. The rest of you are back by the doorway. Scanlon, you're taking a minute to cast this? I mean, you told me to do this, right? I thought we were not going to fight, but it's up to everybody. We may need a place to disappear too, so yes.

He's still not a bad idea. We can hold them off. I'm out of the fight then. So I'll just start casting and singing. Okay, so Scanlan begins working on. on casting the magnificent. When people keep repeating, that you need a place to sleep. When everybody starts retreating,

but you need a really cool keep. Let's Scanlan open the door. Let's Scanlan open the door. Let's scan and open the door to your house. So as this is commencing, I've never heard music. I want to stay back with him. Okay. No, I'm kidding.

I want to say. Okay, so you go up. Yeah, I'm still with her. All right, so we have Lionel, Keeleth, and eventually Vasquez up that the rest of you are still back at the entrance way. I'll pursue this as well. I'm going to stand at the entrance to the tunnel. Okay. Keeliff, you keep an eye out and you watch as they approach, they're in a sprint, a wild sprint.

And you notice the humanoid figures, there's a lot of clacking sounds. And you immediately notice they're thinner than a fleshed-out human. These are skeletal. They are skeletons and armor with shields and weapons. and weapons and they're just like, just scattering through the hallway towards you at a very fast pace. And I'm just going to say, oh, Pike. Pike, I think got some undead coming away. Probably going to need some divines, smiting of the divines. And then as-

Pike's little lake starts making, it was going to take you a while to get there. As I call Pike, I'm going to go ahead and be like, here we go. What do you do? Fireball. A fireball. I can see them, right? They're close enough fish? Oh yeah, no, for a fireball, most definitely. Okay.

Out of the spire. Alrighty. So, Keelth, I want you to go ahead and roll your damage. Okay, okay. Fireball is, oh, hang on, wait. I'm not a sorcerer. I should have had this prepared. I admit I should have had this.

It's like something D8. D10s. D10s, fireball. Fire. 8D6, fire damage. One of them rolled a natural 20. One, two, three, four, five, six. Give me two more.

There was a 19 and a 20. A 19 and a 20? What? Your spell DC is what, 21? 21, yeah. All right, so two of them make their save. You roll. 34 damage.

34 damage. All right, you watch as four of the skeletons just explode their bones, dead. and exploding all over the cavern, the cavern. You watch as just bounces around and breaks and shatters, and you hear them while clattering into the dust below. Two more, push through the flames. You can see their armor with leathers they have on

are now burning behind them, it's causing this glow in the alley. You see this percy. How loud was this fireball? It's a fireball. I'll take two shots of the two that came through. Okay. That's fine. We're here. I'm going to just curl up to the top and upside down, take two shots.

Okay. Is with your right? Yeah, with my big rifle. That's not bad. Shkakoon. That's not bad. A 20 and a 27 to hit. Both hit?

Actually, even more than that. Yeah, 20 and the... Don't worry about rolling damage, because even their minimum damage, with the damage they'd taken from the fireball, both shots, you just cut, you hit them both in the rib cage, like the sternum in the back of the spinal column, and they just fold into themselves and crumple into spinning pieces of bone. You watch as the momentum of their movement, just causes them to scatter across the dust. Both of them just... Hey, Pike called that order for that divine smiting. We're gonna need it probably in a second.

I'm here, I'm here. Okay. Did you save any for me? There'll be more. There's gonna be more. There's gonna be more. I hope so. I want some now.

All right, as you guys are waiting there, 30 seconds passes. Skelitin. 30 seconds past, again, you finish your spell. The doorway appears up. It doesn't appear to be anything else currently coming down the hall after you. after you. Scanlan open the door. Scanlan open the door. We're going in or what? Yeah, you guys in a camp. Let's go.

We leave something here as some sort of alarm that we can set? Oh, yeah. Like a glyph of warding. Yes, we can. Can we put it on there on the faces that already exist so that they'll think like... Oh. That was really charged. Like they'll be like, no problem.

And an idiot shall lead them. I'll lead them. What's it? Broken clock twice a day. Well done. Let's take a long rest, see if we can get two more. You do notice, Kielis, that the flickering light, the firelight, is now getting brighter. It's not, the firelight is now becoming more of a white light.

It's a flickering white light. Hey, how hot does a campfire normally get? Not that hot, right? Not that hot. Oh, no. No. Something's bad. Something bad. Hey, Pike, fire. Fire's very white. White fire. Huh. I can't see you.

Do you like coming to the camp? Sight? Maybe. Let's stop backing up. Okay. Okay. Okay. Back up a little bit. That's just back up to the- Are we close to the faces at all still? You're maybe about, say, 70 to 100 feet.

So on the way back? Yes. Well, on the way, you're backing up through a different tunnel. so there's no faces that you've seen on this side. Let's just leave it at the shifts. So if they go up out of the tunnel, we'll know about. Can I throw up a gif of warning right there? A glyph of warning.

A gift of warning. A gift for someone. What's the casting come in the glyph? A gif of warning. Hold on. A gif of cordon. Yes, that one. We can't find the card.

It gave me just a second. I don't know if it slipped underneath. I'm finding it right now. Probably a minute. You think? Everything fun takes a minute. All right, glyph of wording is one-hour casting time. Oh, never mind.

You know what? Come on. We don't have time, so maybe we can just hop into the mansion. Watch an episode of House of Cards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep an eye out. But hop in the mansion? Hop in the mansion.

All right, you guys hop into the mansion? Yeah. All right, you all make your way into the center of Scanlan's Magnificent Mansion. You step through this weird, sparkling purple doorway that wasn't there before. And as you go through, the temperature all becomes very comfortable warm. Like, it's well kept inside. It's climate controlled.

There's these beautiful marble pillars. There's this royal red and gold carpet that spreads out over this, like, dual staircase that winds up to a second floor. It's a gorgeous mansion. The interior is just immaculate designing. You watch as about a dozen or so spectral people suddenly float in with their arms crossed and just, arms crossed and just give a bow and a nod to you as you arrive.

Before we go in, we throw down the dust of chastelessness. No. Cog? Yeah. All right. You guys are all inside the mansion. That's fun. Been a while you've redecorated. I put some new art pieces in here. They're all counterfeit, but, you know, it's still good.

How's the menu? The menu's changed quite a bit. Really? Kaylee got sick of chicken about two weeks in, so she's got me on this vegan thing. She says it'll make me last longer and feel healthier and stuff. Last longer. Well, you know, live longer. She said all that meat was probably bad for me, so it's all salads now. Only salads?

Yeah, different kinds of salads. That's it. That's all they make is salad? That's what she told them to make and that's what they're making for me now. But you, you run the place. Well, I don't want to cross her. She has me on a diet and I'm trying to stick to it, so it'll be all salad. Is it more tasteful in here now? Tasteful?

Is it more tasteful in the mansion? Is it more tasteful in the mansion? No, I didn't think so. Is the picture still up that Pike commissioned? It's a pretty nasty site. Yeah, sure. That's there. Very, very, very much so.

Well, you didn't replace that? 70s old budget poem Maybe we should all retire to our rooms for a while and come back for dinner. Is Terry, does he have his own room as well? Oh, that's the fancy fellow you've brought with you. Yeah, Terry Scanlan, Scanlan. The new Scanlan, yeah, right.

Terry, say hi. Hello, I'm Terry in Darington. I've been quite pleased to spend some time with your friends for the last year, And you have wonderful friends. You should honor and cherish them. They are the best people I've ever met in my life. And this is a lovely home you have.

It's quite beautiful. Scanlon, don't be rude, respond. It's nice to meet you too. Thank you for looking after my friends. I guess any friend of Oxmarkin is a friend of mine. I don't know. You can use the downstairs, as the basement room.

Scanlon, you can add a room at the thought. He can have my room. He can have your room. Do you have any bunk beds? No, I don't have bunk beds. Do you have a hammock? No, I don't think I do, but there's might be some spare cots and stuff downstairs. Lionel, there is a war room down in the bottom of this bitch.

A war room? Yeah, it's got all the things, people argue with me need. We're covered. Sweet. Yeah. Sand pit, fighting dummies. Dibbs on the sandpit. Shit.

It'll make me feel like I'm at home. Better enough. There's also the spa, right? Yeah, it was destroyed but rebuilt. It's good. It's good. It's lined with iron now in case there's an explosion. Yeah.

Wise. Do you guys all scatter to your rooms for a moment to Take a rest? I mean, I guess so. You want to play some cards or something? Sure, that would be great. Can I go back to your room? That would be fine, yeah.

All right, let's go. All right, you guys have back to Scanlon's room. We're going to take a break here. We'll return here and pick up from that exact moment in just a few minutes. Real fast, we do have a warmwood giveaway. That's pretty crazy tonight. It is the Black Walnut Complete Dice Tower System. tower system and tabletop dice tray with leather rolling surface.

Should we open it and see what color that is? I'll open some of it. I'm not going to open all of it. No, just one, because it's all black walnut. Black walnut is this really, really nice. With the leather interior, it's really nice. So let's be going to anybody who, to the person who wins in the Twitch chat. The war is over.

The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old-school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time, and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s. And man,

it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not-so-dark, not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's detective agency as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every quill they can fight. It's one heck of a tale, which is great. good, because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives.

Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you. Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents The Chaotic's Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. When the Chaotics are on the case. For the Twitch chat and enter the code 100. The word, 100, is the code for the evening.

Put it in there, good luck to whoever wins, and we'll see you guys back here in a few minutes. Yay! Come back, ladies and gentlemen, it's a critical roll. First and foremost, we have our winner in the chat. AJ Spark 08, congratulations. You won the fantastic Wormwood package. Donova will contact you shortly to get your address, shipping information.

Congratulations on our 100th episode. Wormwood giveaway! Also, it's come to our attention that the chat room in the internet is convinced that this is not a real set and we are apparently on a green screen. So I wanted to just show you guys how incredibly real this. No, I'm kidding. It's actually, it's real. It's a real set. It's actually here. This is all. It's a good job. M.

It's a real set. Don't fuck up the wrinkles. They look so good in the light. Sorry. Sorry. Sweet laser ray. But I do understand illusions are prominent in magical realm, the pattern tree. Because of the beautiful spot behind you, can you give us one Vidalcasson wave of your... No. Okay.

And a halo around you because of the shield. I can see your halo. You look like, Jesus. Yeah. I hate you all so much. I know your hair is like extra fluffy because you do that. God damn it. All right.

You don't like... I don't listen to these people. What? Maybe he's born with it. Maybe it's... Terry? Um, all right. So, leaving us back in where we left off.

Where we left off. You guys had all scattered to your various rooms in Scanlan's magnificent mansion. Vax, you had gone off with Scanlan? Catch up, play cards. All right, so make your way to the chambers. Boy, it is more extravagant in here than I remember. Well, to be fair, you hadn't spent a lot of time in my room.

No, but there was just one mirror on the ceiling, and now there are three. Well, I need to get every angle, don't I? Yeah, that's weird. Do you want to play cards? Sure, rummy gin, gin rummy, pinnacle. Yeah, I'll pretend to know what those are. Spades, hearts.

Let's do hearts. Okay. Deal. Okay. I have no idea how to play this game. I will win. The backstuffs. All right, so how, catch me up, man.

Oh, I mean, there's a lot to talk about in a year. What happened in the beginning? What happened right after? You left. First couple of weeks. Well, we went on sort of a walkabout. Me and Kaylee went off to the woods. We did some camping. We found some travelers and sang to them and just told stories like,

you know, like we do. Entertained some folks. Some nights were spent alone, some nights in the company of people who wandered by. We weren't too far away from White Stone. So how did you get to Marquette? After about a month or two of just sort of being hobos, I guess.

She wanted to do something, you know, anything. She was getting bored, she's young. So I told her, well, I don't really have anywhere to go, but I do know of two fuckfaces I have to get really I have to get revenge on. And I asked her if she'd be interested in that. And she said, fuck yeah.

So she came down with me. We got a boat, went across the sea, and we went back to that casino. It was really the only sort of piece of unfinished business from our time together that I had to deal with. And that somehow stumbled into all the all this. Well, when I got my revenge on them, I learned a bit about what they were up to. They

weren't really drug dealers. It's embarrassing, but the drugs they sold me were not real. I know that's hard to believe, but I was swindled by them. That is hard to believe. I don't think it's true. It is true. They sold me a bunch of shit. No, surely not, no. But they were in this other game of selling counterfeit stuff. And so I did the thing that I knew would hurt them most.

I took away their counterfeiter, and now he works for me. So I put them out of business, and I put me into business. into business. And since then I've been just kind of doing that for a while and it turns on I'm very good at it. That actually is not surprising. We don't try to swindle people who are innocent. Yeah. We started off by taking down, well not taking down, but ripping off a few guys who were sort of corrupt officials in the city and just sort of built from there. It's not a It's a big operation, if I can be honest with you. It's just me and Kaylee and a few other people.

I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I think it's pretty cool. Thank you. It is kinda cool. I have this persona, and people know who it is, and when I go places, they're scared of me a little bit. Well, I mean, you did save a fucking continent. You are scary. That's true.

It is true. I helped. I helped a bit. A bit. You've had a year to clear your head. You think it was just a bit? I don't know, maybe. We all did our part.

We all did our part. You know there are multiple times we'd all be dead if it weren't for you. You know that, you know that. And the same could be said for any of us. That's true, but... Yeah. You take any one piece away in the Tower Falls, Jenga, man.

I don't know what that game is. But I, uh, I know, I know. Listen, I did a lot of, a lot of thinking over the year. And I, yeah, I appreciate you all much more now than I did. And I realized that you probably appreciated me too, but at the time I just, I didn't know. I didn't, I was so used to being a loner that I didn't know really how to behave in a group. That's all. And so I left.

Well, you know, it was ugly on all sides when you left, but I've always understood why you left. I admire it. Really? No, I wish my dad gave half as much effort as you have this year, where I used to. Anyway, you know, we've missed you. Everybody has.

It is true. It is true. And I certainly have. And if I did anything or said anything to make you feel lonely, I'm sorry. I really am. I can miss you, man. You don't have to apologize for anything. It was me.

It was me. And I don't know if we'll ever have what we had before. But I can tell you that fighting alongside you all was the best. the best time of my life. And not because of the glory or the fortune or the fame that we got. It was just to fight alongside you and to see the looks on your faces when I did something really cool in battle or... Every time. Fucking every time. That flare. But you've got this new guy and he seems really...

He's very handsome. Well, I don't know. Yeah, he's good looking. That's true. I don't know that we have. I mean, we've kind of scattered a bit. I live in Zepra. Oh, really? I'm on holiday. Yeah. Zepra Heights? Pretty much. Yeah, it's all Zepra Heights. Okay. No, I'm very happy right now. You are happy? Yeah. That's so weird. I know. I was happy for a long time. But still with the black. You're not giving that up. I mean, this is, no. This is part of the bargain. I mean, just some turquoise could pop it up a little bit.

Yeah, but you know, I have sunshine in my life every day, so it's fine. That's true. How's that all going? Fucking the best, man. It's the fucking best. Yeah? Yeah. But you know, all I care about is that you're happier now than you were.

You seem a little happier. I'm certainly better off than I was when I left. left you all. Yeah. I don't know that I'm happier. Just better off. Well, that's a step up. And Kaylee is she better off.

Most certainly. Well, that's great. Listen, thank you for coming up here and stuff. I don't really know what to do with the others. Again, a lot of hard shit was said on your way out. in many directions and you know the way I look at it it's to be expected we went through hell together that's gonna have an effect But um even the ones who are angry at you They did miss you and family doesn't break apart that easy and I don't scare away just be patient. I'll try

Clap him on the back of the head I can't reach I can I love you man you too I'm sorry. It's good to see you. We're not going to play cards, are we? I don't know how to play this game. Yeah, okay. But thanks for the conversation. Sure. That's been about an hour, I think. Yeah, you should just go. I mean, yeah. All righty.

All right. If anyone else wants to do anything else, to do anything else before dinner or after? I take all the mirrors off the roof of our bedroom while he talks with Scanlon and then we go to sleep. There are mirrors in yours as well? Yeah, I mean, I assume. I hadn't intended on it, but there's definitely a mirror in there. All right, your wonderful ex-poise on salad types

are presented to you by the spectral servants. Gross. A fantastic dinner of greens, of all shades. Where's the meat? There's like lima beans. Do they serve meat for guests, or is it just Scanlan that's barred from chicken salad in this mansion?

Chicken salad. The closest we have is lima beans. They know how to make chicken, though. I know the servants know how to make chicken. If I have them make chicken, they'll tell her, Tell her and I'll get in trouble. Tell her you didn't have any. I have an idea.

Bring me a cow. No, I'm kidding. And the special servants like, don't do it. I woke once before. Listen, they make a great cucumber salad. They've got an excellent undiv. What? Fabulous.

A cusscus. Salad. Couscus. And a tabuli. It's one of those meals that you're still hung when you eat it. Yeah, it's really not filling at all. It's terrible.

It's terrible. And he's not lying. Do you lose hit points from this meal? Do we actually literally lose? That we have to buy chalices before we have any more fucking feast? Yes. Shit balls. It'll be all right.

We're out of chattises. However. Do you have any chalices? I'm here. Because they don't want to have a chalice. Over what? They're referring to the Heroes Feast. Oh, yeah.

But no. No, you need to. Stuff like that, you stock up on. We gotta remember. We gotta do it. Right. All right, so the meal is filling to varying degrees of enjoyment. But you find rest at your disposal.

Relatively early into your day, though it is night on Karell. You guys have been awake for approximately five hours. So do you go to rest? I mean, if we all rest, when we wake up, those things are going to be swarming outside the door, right? I mean, it's potential, or they could have given up. What if we just, like, peek out the door and see? We can do that?

Yeah. Peek out the door. Okay. Very stealthily open the door a little bit and see. Keep the chain on. Yeah, I'm gonna stay inside the door, and I'm gonna just look outside the door. Okay.

You peek outside the door, and right as you glance through, you see about 13 or so skeletons that are just all clustered right there at the door going, ah. Oh, fuck. Shut it. I feel like I can wait till morning. She turns around calmly. I think it might keep getting worse, I'm not sure.

Maybe we should sleep. We just wait the morning and we throw Pike out the door. Yeah, that's fine. Can we just open the door and throw a set out? No, they have to be invited. They can't. They don't even see the door. Yes. They're all bones.

Okay. So we're okay. They can't cover a while. Is there a back door to this place? No. No. So if we wake up in the morning and there's, up in the morning and there's like 200 of them.

Then we're kind of screwed. Yeah. We're actually. We're Pike. We have options. Was Pike gonna do? She's super special. They just happen and I'm dead as my favorite terrain.

Are you gonna talk to them? I could, but what's the point? Well, maybe they have secrets. Maybe do you commune with skeletons? Don't go away. Not all skeletons are like ducks. Yeah, some of them are a lot. If we find your friends, I can talk to them if they're dead.

Maybe they're like unhappy with their employer. Maybe we can find their good side. We could turn some undead. It'll be alright. That's not a bad idea, but... I'm sorry. I've never talked so much. I'm just really hungry after that stupid meal. It's okay.

I feel starving. They can make you a fruit smoothie. Oh, God. I want that. I do want it. Yes, bring it. That may be breakfast. To give you the run, you don't want it.

Can we put some rum in it? Do you, can you have eggs? Or is that not? You said a nightcap. Someone said a night cap. She said vegan. I mean, she's, no eggs. This fucking sucks.

A shallow ghost of a dinner served by a shallow ghost of people. I'm ready for a nightcap and an end of the evening. You said night cap. Mm-hmm. You should get mad. Yes, I did. So you pull out the, various bottles you've stored amongst Grog's bag of holding. Scatter a nightcap

amongst those who wish to partake and find yourself resting for the evening within the mansion. To the death in the morning. To a pina colada. Walking towards the rooms, can I just pull pike aside for a second? Sure. So as you go ahead and off. Um, how are you? I'm fine. I'm just finding myself a little angry. Well, I think it's reasonable to be angry. And I'm trying not to be. It's a different side of you. Oh no, I don't like it, but I can't help it. What should I do? Well, your emotions are justified. Okay. But you found it in your heart to forgive your family,

and they did terrible things to you. Maybe it's harder with people that are closer. They cut deeper. Yeah. I think it's just, because I didn't I didn't really know them. Maybe it was easier to just let them go. And I wasn't as angry as I am with him. Have you talked to Sarenry about it? No, I'm just nervous. I know what she'll say and have me do, and I just want to be...

You don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. I just want to be mad for a while, I guess. but I don't know. I guess just seeing him again slowly but surely. I'm not as mad, but... He's still charming. I know.

I just feel like now I'm just acting like I'm mad almost around him. Like it's... I don't know. He's making me feel so many different kinds of emotions. I'm confused. Well, I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Probably a battle of some sort of. which is usually life endangering.

Yeah. Just ask yourself if you'd want to die without saying how you feel. Okay, that's a good idea. I would feel very bad if something happened to him and I didn't say anything. I mean, if I died, then I just wouldn't know, I guess. You'd know a few minutes later when we tried to bring it back. I'm just spit on you, I'm sorry. It's fine, I don't care.

Okay. Well, that's true. Well, thank you. It's hard. I know. It is hard. Well, you know, if you feel like staying up and wandering around and talking to some people. I come running up.

No, now. We're going. Good night. Good night. Now. No, no more. Good night. Well, good night. Good night. Good night, you too.

We haven't been here in a while. Oh, I know. I kind of want to break a few things. I... You've earned it, fucker. I go and I knock on Grog's door. Okay. The Grog doesn't have a door.

Grog is currently staying in the war room area. Oh, that's right. So as you head down, Are they both in the same? You see curled up on the sand pit, this half-wark snoring loudly, kind of like a golden retriever that had rotated twice and passed out on the sand. And- Greg, what are you doing?

I'm like the dog that's staring at the cat that stole its fucking bed. You can't argue with the Dibbs policy. It's supreme, it's absolute, it's binding in all planes. All Barbarans understand it. I stand next to him and stare at Chod, Lionel, in the sandpit. It's just bullshit, right? Everything I had, everything I was, right there, just another one. Grog, I know that you probably feel replaced, but there's no way he could fill your shoes.

I mean, he's big. Look at those feet. It's like clown feet. I know. I know. They're a little bit. He could. I mean, but his feet are just like a little bit too big, you know? Yeah, too big.

Your feet are just right. Right. Mm-hmm. I have an idea. How about we go get a bunch of blankets, the ones out of my room, we'll just make a fort by the fireplace. We'll just make a better spot. A new spot? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And I think I just talked to Vex, and she said that maybe if something were to happen tomorrow, maybe it would be better to just say some things so you're not, you know, thinking about it if somebody dies. Is somebody dying tomorrow? Are you going to die? I don't know. But you made the world to me. They said, I'll be fine, I promise.

Just, I guess, Scanlon. What? Maybe do you feel like you want to talk to him? No. Yes. No. I think... I think I'm angry with him,

but I can tell you're also angry with him. Yeah. So I'll stay mad at him as long as you are. You know? Really? But... I feel like maybe he feels a little bad. Are you sure?

I can't tell. He changed the inside of the mansion. He's got a new dog sleeping in the sand pit. He called him his best man. You heard it. I did. That was weird. Yeah. It's fucked up.

It's what it was. Well, you know what we should do? We should just tomorrow. Kill him. That's definitely an option. But I feel like maybe, I feel like maybe, we could just try to be better than him.

You know, like maybe you could just really show off and show him that you are better and that we're better and we're better friends and, you know, that he should just come back and hang out with us. No, I like this idea. I mean, this is really something we can roll with. Yeah, he should miss us.

In fact, he should be coming to, like, beg us to be like, I miss you, You're so cool. We should, yeah. Yeah. We gotta make him remember. We gotta make him remember. Yep.

We gotta make him remember how great we are and what he's lost. Yeah. So tomorrow all the tricks out the bag, throw caution to the wind. You and me, it's a show. Yeah. I suddenly wake up. You guys, I'm used to seriously sleeping alone. You guys are talking so much.

Oh, sorry, we didn't realize we were just awake. Just roll over and just. We're gonna go. If you'd like pile the sand up, you make little earmuffs. It's not working. I'm used to silence. We're gonna go. We're gonna go.

We're gonna make a blanket fort. Make a blanket fort by the fireplace. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thank you. All right. As you guys go make it blanket fort,

curl up and sleep takes you the next morning you come to consciousness are greeted with a fantastic, spiritually broad, vegan breakfast. More lima beans? Like an asai bowl? Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's a thing.

There you go. So picks up, picks up second day. There you go. Wait, is there granola? Don't defend this. Comparatively. Just because it's sweet, does it mean that it's savory? Lots of oil?

Fair enough. There's nothing sticking it together. It's just loose. It's just like that make granola good that make it not vegan. It's just all loose. It's just a oddbeat in any way? Nope.

Nope. Yep. Fuck it. All right. I'm just waiting away. It's going to catch up when we burp like really good. Oh, I've already, yeah, it's too late. A guy who's like, do-p-doo-doo-doo-d-do-doo-do-do-do.

You ever work pretty. That's what I've got. That's what's the plan, guys. Oh, geez. Well, oh shit. Wait. Yeah. Let's take a look at him.

Yeah. Peek out the door. You should probably look at the door because we're not eating shit vegan breakfast. Okay. You could get out to the hallway, and then before you see, see about 20 or so armored skeletons that are all just kind of clustered into this hallway,

maybe like five feet in between a few of them, but they're like scattered throughout. They're just kind of in this holding pattern. What do you see? There's just like 20 or so skeletons out there. This is the perfect opportunity. Maybe we take care of it ourselves. I'm saying. You lead the way. Let's do it.

Do it. Oh shit. Oh shit. I approve of this so hard. We're all still just eating breakfast. You guys are just eating breakfast. wondering where Pike and Grog are. Oh wait.

Wait, yogurt's not vegan. Before we break through the door, I should yell, I should yell something like, but don't be so brave. Okay, and then. You can yell, Pike, don't be so brave. And then I can say something like, but Grog, but Grog, you're too strong.

I don't know, let me workshop it. Brown, you're too strong. You're too strong. You're just going to kill them all anyway. This is true. Should we just wing it? Yeah. Just like what happens. Okay. Okay, ready? On the count of what? On the count of three. I could do that. I know you can. Okay. I'm going to get my mace ready.

Okay. Oh my God. I have more blood axe. All right. Back at the breakfast table just before they make whatever loud sound they're doing. It's a quick cut to a series of smoothies. It's good, but I like, omen milk, but I like cream a little bit. Yep.

Suddenly, you guys hear. This isn't mine. What do they hear? What are the cards? Two. Three. Oh, that's it. You're three. All right.

Scanlon, because this is your mansion, you feel the door, suddenly you sense the breaching of the front door opening. Oh, God. It's Wobler fighting. The door's open. Oh, Pike, you're so brave! Oh, shit. You put yourself before others! Are they fucking?

Take off, running. I'm gonna start swinging my name. You guys all of a sudden drop your meals, start charging out. The door is already open and it's vacant. You guys, as you charge out, all of a sudden you watch, just 10 of these screeches and just leap towards you. What are you doing, Pike? I start swinging my mesa of disruption.

Can I just like do this as I go through? I mean, you'll still do attacks, but they'll get you. attacks on you as you go back and forth. Yeah. All right, so you rush forward. Go ahead and make your attack. You have, is it as a war, do you have two attacks? Is a bonus action you can attack, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot, I haven't done this in a minute with Undead. Okay, so. What does the mention of disruption do to Undead? You get, uh... No, it just hits targets. It's the other one that should. Just when you hit a Feeder undead with this magic weapon,

the creature takes an extra 2D6 radiant damage. Yep. So. Oh, okay. So 17 and 22. So 17 and 22. 17 to you both hit. Go ahead and roll damage for each.

Okay. With the additional disruption damage. So, let me say, okay. So 2 and 2D8. Okay. I don't have all of the dice out. See, this is why you take the time at the beginning to organize it all. I know.

All this is happening, you're also charging in with her and you're attacking. Yeah, great weapon master with the device. Bloodax. Go and make you two attacks with it. Okay. And I'm 2D8. So with Undead, I also roll an additional 2D6. So am I doing 4D6? How many? That would be 4D. Well, you do additional damage as part of your clerics worth. Okay, so 1d6 plus 2D8 is the...

Is the additional disruption damage? Is just one strike, one strike. Sorry, I haven't done this in a while. All right, so as a war domain cleric, you can make weapon attacks a bonus action, up to number your wisdom modifier per day, so that's one use there. And you deal an additional 1D8 weapon damage on the attack,

so it's, how much damage is your mace do? 1d6 plus 6 and 2D8 is what I had now. For divine strike. Correct, yes. Okay. Yep, because you reach 14th level. So yeah. So it's plus 2D8.

You got it, 1d6 plus 2D8, plus 2D8, plus 2D8, plus 2D. Okay, so 18 damage in the first hit? Yeah. You slammed the mason on the side of a skeleton, and it crushes a lot of the bone, and a lot of it seems to erode away as the divine flash impacts it. And you watch as the bleached white turns to like gray and black, however, it still stands. Oh, no. Largely wrecked, but still like, ah, and your second attack, you hit the same one? Yep.

All right, go and roll damage to that one. Okay, nine, 14. All right, that one, whack, hit the side of the skull, and the head just turns into dust at the side. The bones collapse into a pile. You destroyed one skeleton out of about 20 or so. Brog, what are you doing? I did my first attack was at 26, and so was the second one.

Both with Great Wea Master. Go ahead and roll damage. The first one was 26 damage. You just completely destroy a skeleton in one hit. It just turns into a scattering of bone across the wall. That's what it. Brog, it's so crazy how strong you are. They're all dying.

Oh, no, but I only do it to protect My friends, and the second one is 39 points of damage. And with that second hit, a second skeleton that's leaping towards you, it has like a giant scimitar in the air and this kind of buckler on its side of its wrist. And you just batter up, swing it, and it just explodes across and rains down upon you. You have to, you know, pike, a couple of bones kind of hit your armor

and fall off at the side. With my bonus action, can I go into a rage and go, I kill these skeletons, because I would never replace a friend like you. He does. I know, Grog! All right. And so as you guys were pushing the doorway, the skeleton's immediately turning, swarmed in. That's going to be five attacks on each of you within this range here. So against Pike. Yep.

Okay. Mrs. Pike. Mrs. Pike. God, Mrs. Pike. Mrs. Pike. Mrs. Pike. Oh, nice. And a 20. What's your AC? My AC is 23.

23. All them leap on you, but they can't get through the armor. They're all clustered up around you. They're piled up almost. Like you're just being dog piled by skeletons. And while none of them are getting to your flesh, you know, they're just all these skulls biting in front of your faces, you're holding them back with your shield and mace.

Grog, miss. Natural one, miss, two, miss, 20. That hits. And 21. All right. So you take 22 points of slashing damage, reduced to 11 from the two

attacks together. As both these skeletons just start hacking into you or their weapons, one has like a long sword, one has what looks to be some sort of a war pick and it's just both them jam into your flesh and you just take it without an issue. All right, you guys all rush the door and you look out and you can see this this group of undead there, swarming your two friends. You get there just, well you start preparing for the round. They're going first. Pike, what are you doing? I'm in a guiding bolt down the hallway towards the rest of the skeletons. But a guinea bolt can only hit one target. Oh shit!

All got any area effect? Yeah, the area effect stuff you have are your turn undead or destroy undead or any of the spells that you have. Oh yeah, destroy and dead. Oh, fuck, I forgot about it. Sorry, it's been a minute since I'm around them. Okay, yeah, destroy undead.

Come on, clerk. Okay. Okay, so you are. It's been a minute. Yeah. Well, you're a 17th level clerk, though? 16th level? I think 16th level.

I don't know if I... Yeah, 16th level. So, CR3 or lower. Basically, sneeze. There's definitely there. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I feel like I might be so. All righty. So you're going to affect with that in the radial area here, which is a radius of 30 feet. That's going to affect 15 of these undead. Okay. Within the ones that are powell and you, the powell don't grog and the ones that are swung behind. What's your spell D.C.? 18.

Okay. It rolled an 18, but it's a minus one. Yay. So you still make it. Let it roll. Did you roll all for L15. Mm-hmm. Oh, no, that one survived.

Don't confuse him. It's a lot to keep track of. Hey, guys, we have these amazing art prints. Sorry, hold on. Almost done. Oh, fuck, are they all making it? All right. So, out of the 15 to survive,

as you're held down by all these skeletons, suddenly this beacon of divine, bright flame begins to burst from you. And you watch as the flaming wings of sarin rank swirl up out. out of her like a phoenix. And as it does, you see above her the image of the dark skin, light flaming hair, Sarah and Ray

kind of embodying her like a Jojo stand as it kind of takes this pose. And as soon as Pike brings her arms out and screams, the image just bursts out and you watch as every skeleton practically in that radius just turns to ash and dust. In the vicinity, leaving two skeletons there that are just kind of like, ah, ah.

So there's about maybe four of them left the whole tunnel from that one burst. Duhl. I'm not Scanlan. Do you think Scanlan saw? Oh, yeah, how could you miss it? I'm at the door. Yeah.

Well, you and me against the world, huh? You and me, Grog, it's just, we're so loyal to each other. To the end. Best friends. Best friends till the end. Grog, what are you doing? I'm hitting things. All right, so you rush up to the two.

I'll walk back to the kitchen and start clearing people's plates. Okay. I'll step out into the fray just to watch. Regular strike 25. Hits. Ooh, and it's 17. Yeah, I'll hit. That's as low.

I can roll. 17 is a low for you. I know. 16 points of damage on the first one. All right, first hit. It smacks into the side and breaks part of its upper shoulder and upper arm. It cuts off one of its arms, but it's still standing there. in front of you.

That's embarrassing. I used the second strike of the same skeleton. I hope the Scanlan didn't notice. I saw. Fuck. 15 points of damage. 15 points of damage does destroy the skeleton. The one that's giving you a hard time, this time you just cleave through the center of its spinal column and its torso tumbles over and just scatters into a pile of bones.

Yeah. You saw it. You're doing so good. You saw it. You're doing so good. My whole plan's going to shit. Some of it's happening at once. He can't see.

All right, so Vex, you're at the door, Scanlan, you're at the door, you're at the door, Lionel. What are you guys doing? I'm going to hold it. There's three skeletons still standing. All right, I'll shoot one of the skeletons. Go for it. Roll for attack. Lano, what are you doing? I'm just kind of like, it's cool. I'm just watching. I kind of forget, you know. But then I'm like, and then I see it. I was like, oh, I got them. So I think it's now it's time to kind of impress Grog a little bit because he knows like, he goes into rage. All right. So you go into a rage, pull your great sword.

Yeah. All right, and you could charging out. So would you roll? Oh, I just decided maybe I shouldn't hit them, though. Okay, so you go to fire and you pull the arrow back? Because I rolled it one. Oh. Wait a second.

Oh, no, wait. Oh, no. It's the chicken. So what happens is you go and you release it and you just strung it and you're like, oh, I just didn't. You know what? I'm going to leave it. She got like the brew.

Yeah. All right, so you rush up alongside Grog and three skeletons that are there. Like a blood blister on my. Oh, no. You want any more? And you add the attack bonus, which is right in the center. Okay, let's talk. Oh, natural twain.

Oh, natural twang! Sorry, I yelled it. It's right. Buck. All right, so that hits, then roll the second attack? No. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God!

What? Another 20. Did you roll 220s in a row? Oh my God! He's raging, dude, and he's had a really great sleep in the sand, so strong and powerful before. He doesn't even understand what she's happened. You're getting turned down? You're like you're honing Vin Diesel right now with this crit power.

Well, he's finally, he likes these guys. He wants to like finally show off and do something to cool and just. Okay, okay. Okay, so you rush for the first skeleton. Roll 2D6. Roll 4D6. Oh yeah, roll 4D6. Take four of these.

Which ones? Okay. And I think you get to roll the two dies. Yeah, roll those and add two more. Or roll them twice. Yeah, yeah, there you go. All four of those. Yeah, yeah.

And you get to re-roll any ones or twos. Oh my God. Three, three. What are they both fucking sixes? That's a six. 6-633. Okay, so 12, 18 plus. Percy, take your hand off him.

Fuck sake. As you rush forward with your great sword, as you rush forward with your great sword, big smile on your face next to Grog, Wack! You just shatter one skeleton with the first attack. Roll damage for the second attack. All four.

All four again. Yeah, roll for duck. I love the duck. Six. No, it. Rroll it. Six. What?

What? What? I'm not even thinking. Go away! And I'm like, Grogh, look at this, this is awesome. I think I'm channeling you. Really impressive. And you just, you just, one skeleton, the other one comes jumping at you, and you just kind of grab it in your hand and

just crush it skull in your hand. That was real cool. There I'm a gymnast. With all the chalk and everything. You got to appreciate that. It was a good moment. That was really impressive. Percy.

You want to do anything? I'm just going to sit next to Vex and just, I think we're just going to stand and let this happen. So Pike, Grog, Linald, you're right there saying there's one skeleton left that's like, and it leaps at Euston and just crushed its friend. And it hits you on your breastplate, and she goes, f-o-o-o-h-h-h-h-h. That's all it does. It's a sad sight. Look, it's doing the duck flail to me.

It's not as good, but it is a duck. That's what he's doing. All right, who wants to finish this poor thing? I'm broken on the inside. Did you see that display? Brokeg, I need your help. Reckley's great weapon master. Go for it, Grog.

A one! Yes! A one! Yes! A natural one is not auto fail. I cannot. I cannot. What is this going on?

As you look at the one skeleton, just feeling this embarrassment, you swing with your axe, and the skeleton, shing, stops it with its own blade and parries the axe to the side, and goes, the one that just didn't barely dent his armor. And then I say, it's okay, Grog, everybody messes up. Sometimes, let me get this one. Oh, Jopras.

Can it roll? Yeah. Two. That's a nine. That's a nine. I inspire him. Okay. Nine plus seven.

That's 21. Okay. 22. Oh, well, that's fine. That's fine. All right, so that hits. Go and roll damage again, but just 2D6 plus seven.

Well, plus your, just two, too. Oh, okay. Okay, that's not as good. Well, it's plus seven plus your rage damage. So it's plus 10. Oh, so. Yes? Yeah.

Yeah, the range, because I'm sorry. No, plus seven, also. Or five. It was plus ten to whatever he rolled there. Five, plus ten. All right, so 20 points. So as you hack down this other skeleton, you kind of knew it, and it destroys part of its torso, its arm, it's holding this weapon, is kind of hanging up and it's kind of unhaged.

You get another shot, don't you? Yep, so you attack again. Yeah, attack again. Four. Sixteen still hits. It's a skeleton, it's farting. So, that's enough. You finish it off.

destroy the other skeleton in two hits. Wack. That was kind of a tough one, I get it. It's okay, that was a really hard skeleton. But he's dead now. We had it. We just, we had it. Can we eat these skeletons?

Because that breakfast is still blowing. Give it a bite. Is there any meat left on these? That was amazing. You slew those skeletons like there were nothing. Incredible. Oh, I just do whatever I can from a bite. whatever I can for my friends. You guys are all awesome and I was just glad I could be of service and help.

Yes. It's good to have someone like you by our side. Awesome. I walk back inside at the mansion. I take out the giant cash cabal and I just... Just chug it. Are you drinking it or just pouring it all over you? There's both. I come out with fresh coffee for Percy Kiel. What happened? It was beautiful, terrible. I'm not entirely sure. Save the day. Chad, save the day. Well, really, he cleaned up after you two finished it all off. He did. He swept up.

That was a lot of skeletons that you killed Pike with that spell. That was really good. You and Grog were most of the skeletons, easily. Are we all back in the mansion? You're all back in the mansion now. Why is it so tense in here all of a sudden? I think I know what's going on. I don't know what happened.

Can I, Grog, Grog, Pyke, can I say something? I feel like there's... some tension between us and we need to clear the air if we're going to go fight today. You guys are really bad today. And I think it's because I haven't made you feel at ease. So can I please just take a moment before we go out there and just for once and for all just say I'm sorry to you guys for what I did and how I left things. I said things that were really cruel and meant to hurt you.

And that's wrong, and I'll probably regret it for the rest of my life. But I needed to go and I just didn't know how to express myself. And I'm so sorry that I insulted you. Pike, I've said awful things to you for as long as we've known each other. And I can't take them back, but I can at least try to be a better person? And can I confess something to you? During the last year, I think I've been praying. I mean, I just talk at night and nobody hears me,

but I guess that's praying, right? And sometimes I talk to Seren Ray, because that's the only one I know. And she seems cool. And she seems like someone who could be a good guide. And it feels good. And I even wrote a little poem about her and about her teachings.

It's very simple, but can I tell you it? It's really simple. It goes, everybody, people, everybody bleed, everybody needs something, everybody love, everybody know how it go. I know it's stupid, but there's a certain logic to it. to it. Yeah.

It actually makes a lot of sense. It just, it makes me feel connected to you guys even though you're not there. And so I say that to myself every night before I go to sleep. It just makes you feel connected to everybody people. Yeah. And Grog, no, stop. I can't apologize to you because words don't work. So let me get this straight.

You think you can go away for a year and come back in a disguise and apologize to this group and that's going to be good enough for me. And then when I'm still pissed, you're going to give me a combo apology with Pike and that's going to be good enough for me. I'm still pissed.

You came back in a costume. A costume. I'm not even really that smart. It's not hard to trick me. And I'm a big guy, but you made me feel small. I don't know if you missed us. I don't know if somebody's making us go down into this zig-a-fat cigarette. I don't even know why we're here.

I thought maybe you'd come back and be like, oh, my best mate, the guy that I would do anything to keep me alive. There he is, I missed him. No. You come back, you found yourself a brand new idiot. One that does amazing strikes twice in a row. And talks to ducks, has all sorts of new tricks, brand new model, new and improved in every way.

I bet you do all sorts of fun things with him. So no, you do not get to apologize to me. I wasn't going to. I was just going to give you a gift. because the times we had together were the best times ever. You might be a little slow, but you're the best friend I ever had. And our times together were great,

not because of our conversations or our witty repartee. It was because of the fun we had together and the experiences we had. So last night I wrote something for you. I know you can't read, but. He can read. He doesn't know that. I just got you a gift.

Because if you won't spend time with me now, it may be, maybe you'll be able to spend time on your own. So I wrote you this. Maybe someone else can read it for him. You might be able to read it, Scanlon. It depends on if this. There's like long words. There's really long words.

It's a big one. It's a bit. It's a bit of words. Give it a try. Al-push. Nope. Nope. Yeah, I don't feel like showing off my prowess.

I can't read a dirty hand in betrayal. All who read this, let it be known. By order of A. A. S.D. It's a stupid name, Scanlan. but it's fine. It's Elvish. Well,

that's a. A.k.a. The Meat Man. A.k.a. Vickle the vicious. A.k.a. Reddish the bold. A.k.a.a. the little pause, aka Francois Bertrand Jean-Luc, Australia. Beware that the bearer of this note, Greg Strongjaw, shall be entitled to any libel

of his choosing at any pub, tavern, restaurant, inn, alehouse, brewery, or house of lady favors within the city limits of Enkarelle. He shall be allowed to drink until drunk and enjoy no molestation by any employee of said establishment unless he requests it. All charges and bills related to his drinking, cavorting or violent behavior resulting from drunkenness shall be forwarded to the meat man for timely paying. by complying with this request, you are hereby under the protection of the Meat Man and shall receive all the benefits and goodwill accompanying such association. The Meat Man always remembers sincerely Ace Adam.

Probably best to test it out, see if it's even worth anything. Grog, I love you. I'm sorry that we won't get to hang out because you hate me now, but I would never replace you. And if you ask me right now, you'll kill him.

I will kill him. I really like this trouble. He's all right. Will you go drinking with me sometime? We'll see. By the way, I want you to know when you died, I sang a song I would never sing for anyone else, and I'm sorry you didn't hear it,

but it was really hard. Is that true? He sang? Yes. Do you know what he sang? A truthful check? Sure, I'll roll a truthful check. Insight check?

Okay. Natural twilight. Honest is the day or grugdick is long. He apparently sang. It is. I can just lean forward. Happy 100. Happy 100.

Maybe you should sing it and let him know where it was. Oh, you know, it's like that face of death in the hallway once it uses up its power, it's done. I'm so sorry, I missed it. And I hope someday we'll sing together in a drunken stupor together. Maybe that will remind you.

Maybe. I was an asshole, grog, I'm sorry. I would never, never replace you, ever. You're irreplaceable. He could have read this, by the way. That's amazing. He could have read this, by the way. I would have gotten the name right.

Wait, is that, did you frame it like a coupon book? It's very impressive. I had some time last night. Wow. There's just some coupons that you can sort of pick out of it, like a, like a couple on Valentine's Day. Forgot it was Valentine's Day.

Looks like there's a free steak. Listen, I, we need to be. to go kill some things right now, but I just want to say to all of you, I'm so sorry the way I left. It was awful of me. Percival, I said awful things to you. I said awful things to all of you. But just know that I've done and said worse things to Kaylee, and she's forgiven me. And I've done and said worse things to myself. And I've managed to forgive myself. And I hope that someday you'll all be able to forgive me. and until then I'll just keep trying and that's all I can do.

And after this fight, if you want me to stay and you guys go home, that's fine. But if not, maybe we can start over. Vex, Vex, Kielis, at this moment, you hear what sounds like footsteps making their way up the tunnel, not where the light was before, but the path you previously stepped from.

Does it sound like skeletons or heavier? From just your passing hearing, they sound like patterned footsteps. I cast that so that a trace on everybody. Okay. We were inside a glowing door. I think they know where we are. So you guys all close the room, the mansion? Okay.

Yeah. I don't want to close the door to the mansion, but turn out the lights in the mansion so you can't see. No one's home. Out of candy, no trick-or-treating. No. Up the hall, you watch as two humanoid figures with hoods are carrying both on each side of some sort of a, looks like a chest or a crate that has handles, and they just kind of pass the open way and then continue going. You've seen that? You've seen that? Yeah. Those are the guys?

We should kill like a bar. I shoot. You're still inside the mansion. I thought she said that the door was just barely open. Yeah, but the door was just barely open. Yeah, but the guys. They're not walking by, because you guys made the door way back in the tunnel. You see them up towards the T-juncture. Oh. So you guys would have to leave the mansion and get that quickly. Let's go. We sneak out. We sneak out.

We're from behind. Maybe we should all go. Now, wait a second. If you feel like it, you can go. Wait. This is a team. We cast for that traced us, right? Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So those are moving forward. Stealth check. Would. Happy hundred. 24. 24? 27.

27. Anybody else moving forward with them? I'm a little bit behind them. All right, stealth checks. It's going to be 22. 28. 28, okay. Wait, are we all going?

Up to you guys. Who's whoever's going? And we had what? Did everyone else leave? 20. He's going, I'm going. I'm behind you guys. Natural 20.

Okay. Yeah, and I'm just getting out of the match. We're letting them go first. Oh, I'm behind, but I'm going. You do have advantage on your stealth checks number because your boots pike. Table right is hanging back behind the twins. Okay. Okay.

16. Plus 10. Oh, so 26. Okay. All right. Everyone got above 20. Tarian's still asleep. Terrian is still asleep.

Yeah. Okay. All right. So you guys all careful to move forward, the twins, you at full, selfing pace, make it at the corner, and as you crest on the side, about 20, 25 feet up, you see the two humanoid figures. With, like, the hoods are kind of, they come to like an rough point that kind of hangs to one side. It looks like some sort of, sort of, you're like, you're sort of a rough point that kind of hangs to one side. sort of a leathery or rubbery substance from just a little bit of light that's coming through.

It's hard to really tell. And they're wearing long black cloth, like a tunic, and what looks to be like dark leather or thick black cloth pants and boots. Not in pants and pants and boots and pants. Not gloved hands, but they're both just carrying this chest along and they're just quietly moving along. Eyebride shot one of. Okay. So roll for your attack on the one, on the one. right on the front that's in the closest to you or the further. We're both kind of moving away from you.

Oh. Oh. You're further. I'm... I'll go with a further one. Okay. Show, do I roll too? For attack?

Yeah, because you don't know you're there. So you have an advantage of this. Ooh. That hits. This is assassinate for the way. Yes, it is. It is an auto crit. So, oh, I'm an assassin too.

Correct. So I get an automatic? An auto crit. If you're, yeah, level three, you do. Yeah. you guys auto crit. Sweet! So I double all my dice! Yep, including the ramble shot!

Oh shit! That's the end of both of God. Ooh! It's gonna be a cadaver and a fern. 20, 40. Oh, new chest. 40 plus 12. 52. Put our blankets in it.

Spirit. 260. I'm working on a quilt. That I was gonna say the quilt from your friends. Another? Yeah. It's stunning. So much history.

Sixty-two is worth dying for. 66 on the first hit and he's... 66 damage? For the arrow, yeah. Okay. Oh, wait, I didn't do my sneak attack damage. Ha ha ha ha. And I'm using, yeah, bonus action versus

brought on that. Okay. And I got a critical on it. Roll the 20. You roll the 20 on the second one? Yes. Okay, roll damage from that. 76 for the first hit. Okay. In an instant,

don't worry about the second attack, critical damage you don't that. Both of them just go. Just, All righty. So. What's in the box? What's in the box? Check up a trap.

You go and lift the box. We check it for a box. Okay, investigation check. Shit. Tonight! Talk about the 100th episode mojo here. Well, everybody except for a grog. Sorry, buddy.

You're fucking leave it in the past. All right. All right. So, who rolled investigation on that one? He did. All right, what did you get? 20. Natural 20.

I'm supposed to be. Yeah, no, it is not trapped. It is not locked. It is just closed. It's just closed. Lift it off. Inside, you see, it looks like a polished stone of smooth jade that is affixed to like a gray leather band that loops in the back.

You see what appears to be a cimitar, a very well-made cimitar that has a series of purlessent gems put across the hilt. It has a very Marquesian flare to it. And you see what appears to be a like a rusty iron sphere. It's about three inches in diameter and weighs about a pound. It has like a bunch of really strange just kind of shapes and designs, almost like it's made from a bunch of condensed chains that were then melted down into a single sphere. It has a really rough texture on the outside. Can we drag the box back to the mansion? Yeah, you drag back.

The box, it has looks like some food and like some blankets and things that are meant to kept them kind of like hidden. So you kind of search through as you find them. So those are the only things of interest that are in the box. The rest of it just seems to be almost to fill the space. Can we hide the bodies? Sure. You guys drag the bodies back?

Yeah. Yeah. And dust of treaslessness to like hide where I don't take the cloaks. You want me to take you with the bodies? I put the bodies in the bag of holding. Okay. The opening's about that big, so it takes you a second.

It's just like when you had to put Dork the Ox in there, it's like trying to fit a king-sized pillow in like a twin-sized pillowcase. It's like a reverse birth, yeah. I'm totally support. No, whatever you need to do to feel better, man. I'm trying to get over these double ones, man. I'm working it out. Perfect, okay.

about this couple things here. I don't touch any of it until we get Terry to look at it. Well, they drag the bodies back first, and I take the robes. We're going to strip the bodies. The cult members of their culty pants and culty. Okay.

So personal and Keel are currently working. Can I study one of the guys' face and kind of take that for alter self? Sure. Easy enough. You guys also find both of them have, looks like a dark iron symbol hanging around their neck that's kind of hidden beneath the robes. It resembles like a four-pronged pitchfork

that has a single rod beneath it that forms into a loop. You have a picture. I'm gonna sketch it for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big spot. I spilled coffee on my paper and it looks like David Mack watercolor.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, it's aged. Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah. Max batter. Yeah. Max batter? Hey, in the store tonight, you've got lots of great. Kind of like that. Okay.

Um. Angry, happy face with a goatie. Kind of, yeah. Um, so yeah, so they have the corpses both being stuffed into the bag of holding. You guys, find the, the, whatever, symbols are hanging, the robes are on you. We're going back to Terry. Okay, go back to Terry. 34, 35.

Other side, Doty. One. We're in the mention. Oh. Hello. Yes. I'm not, I'm not decent yet. Terry, I've seen you naked.

You're fine. Come in, come in. Thank you. Hello. We have a box of crazy shit. Will you look at it and tell us what we're looking at? Of course. What are you doing in here? Why didn't you come down there with us?

I'm doing my daily preparations. I had to pluck my eyebrows. I had to comb my hair. My unmentionables needed to be washed and... Oh. Yes. All right. I will identify these objects.

Okay, easy enough to do as a ritual for each. the cemeter, is a cemetery of speed? Oh! Oh, I'm jacked in! You can go. You can go, you go. You got 30 feet of jacked. All right, don't go so far.

There's the other two items you find. Oh my god, there's so many items. Whoa! What we have here is a scimitar of speed. You gain a plus two bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this magic weapon. In addition, you can make one attack with it as a bonus action in each of your turns. Shut up, is it a tunable? You have to tune it?

Probably. Yes, you do. But maybe this guy can do it. Yeah, you can. We've also found the third eye of awareness. A single polished stone of smooth jade is affixed to a gray leather band that loops in the back. The wearer gains advantage on initiative. Not attunable.

I'm an assassin of the highest caliber. Terry, I'm your best friend. Who gets to color? Oh, little elf girl. Oh, wait. Is it a necklace? No, it's a leather band. Of course Vex gets this. All the times we've had together.

Where are the other eyes of awareness? Have you guys come across those in here? It's only two. They said that's the third one. Oh, it's the third eye of awareness. The last item is called the Iron Bands of Bilaro. This rusty iron sphere measures three inches in diameter and weighs one pound, like my dick.

Is that an open that? I didn't, no, they didn't. Wait. Wait. No. They're required to be. I don't. Looking at it.

You can use an action to speak the command word and throw the sphere at a huge or smaller creature, like my dick, that you can see within 60 feet of you. As the sphere moves through the air, it opens into a tangle of metal bands, like my dick. Make a ranged attack roll with an attack. bonus equal to your Dex modifier plus your blah, blah, blah. If you hit it, the target is restrained until you take a bonus action to speak a command word and release it. Doing so, or missing, causes the bands to contract and become a sphere once more. So it's like a trap ball, trap ball.

It's kind of like, you know in Doctor Strange that like prison exoskeleton that threw on him? It's kind of like that. Once the band is used, it can't be used again until the next dawn. I like my dick. I'm not really It's just that gnome, he's so weird, and he rubs off on people. How are you doing it? Oh, I'm doing it again.

How are you? You've been hiding a lot. Well, it seems like you guys are doing, working through a thing, and I should really be getting back home anyway. I don't know. I don't feel quite as needed anymore. No. You're not, I don't think. You're not there.

How did he get in here? And you turn around and realize that Lionel has followed you into the room. That's what I have to do. After this is all done, I'll say my proper goodbyes. But I should be going. He's your best guy, right? You need him. He's part of the team. He always has been. You're all my best guy.

I love you both. I'm definitely poor for having known you though. Oh. I mean, you were poor without knowing us, you just didn't realize it. I mean, poor and rich, you know? That's true. Yeah. Your family's actually poor because of you.

This mansion disappears in 24 hours, so you can't just hide in here. All right. I'll come outside. Doady. Get my armor ready. It's it. Doty pulls an arm up and you can see one of the other slight changes that they had made in its construction is a slight mister. In the other hand, it goes, for your face or for your armor? Oh my god.

It depends on how hot the day is. Freddie, where's Fred? I feel like Percy would like this a lot. We found something that you might enjoy. Yeah. What's this? What is this? speed.

I think you might like this thing. I think you'd come up with very creative solutions with that. This could go. Hmm. Yes. Yes, I think I could do something with this. Well, let's go kill some shit. Shall we?

I've even got a code word for it. A code word? There's a code word. You have to speak a word to make it work. End word, yeah. Can I program the word? I'll say sure. I've programmed it. Perfect. All right. So.

I put this on. Okay, you put that on. All right, who is going where? What are you doing? Wait, hold on. I want to, yeah, would you like this, either of you? It's pretty funny. It's not my bag. It's very percy. And a plus two bonus to attack.

Thank you. Thank you. It's a weapon. All right, so it's fine, guys. What are you doing? We should go. We should go. We should go attack things.

Camp fire. Well, let's go quietly, you and I take the point and see what the hell is out there. Yeah, we're going in. See where the people have been. The twins are in the lead. New stealth check to you guys? We've had combat. Still a pass letter trace go in.

Everybody roll. Who's walking? Are we all leaving? Sam, you're just bringing Scanlan? Natural twin. All right. That's a six or nine? That's a six.

All right, so across the board. This one. Six. Stel. Oh, I did that already. Yes. 23. With a 10?

35. Yeah. This is with the 10 still. Natural 20. Oh, yeah, you're fine. Reliable talent, man. It's awesome. It's awesome.

It's a 6, yeah. 29. 23. 19. Plus 10? Yeah, it's with 10. Yeah. 20, 23, 23.

Yeah. Okay. Question. Scalantarian, dirty. Trying to leave him behind, guys. You can't get him. He'll just pop out and then he'll be sitting in a tunnel by himself. You gotta pay for it.

You gotta juggle these balls. All righty. Sorry, Matt. What do we do? He's gonna kill him. He's gonna kill one of them. What do you want? What did we do?

Let's go. All right, you move further into the tunnel. Wow, yeah, Twins and Lead Point, traps. Mansion. All that. All right. Searching, keeping an eye out for any other people. other people as well.

All right. It's only about 80 feet before it seems to open up slightly into some, like the winding tunnel can open up a little bit. So make another investigation check part way up, halfway to that period. God damn it. 18. Okay. You make your way there and you begin to push towards the entrance way. The soft dust in the ground is you're walking. which is the same coloration of the rest of the stone work.

Vax, you step on one section that seems to step in a little further than the others, and you feel a, I need you and Vex. And who is following them? Everybody. I need everybody to make a Constitution saving throw. Sam, Sam, I'm using my first luck of the new day. Okay?

Great, that's the third one then? The first one of the day falls. Oh, I can re-roll saving throw. All right, Krog. I'm burning that. 17. 17, you take 36 points of necrotic damage. Pike.

Five. 36 points of necrotic damage. Oh, shit. Okay. Yep. Fex? 16. 36 points of necrotic damage.

18, but Armagh, after those faces, is set to necotic damage. Right, because you never unsetted from that. Okay. All right. I'll let you do that. All right, so that brings you to, instead of the 36, it's 18. Okay, so I rolled in 18.

Right, you did not succeed in the saving throw. Right, but you have had it. Yeah. Okay. Oh, 20 total? 20 total, you take 16 points in a crotic damage. You make it. Out of curiosity, is this a magic saving throw?

I have a, is this a saving throw? I get a, I guess. Yes. Oh, no, I don't even have to use a resolve. That's 18. 19. 19 does not succeed. We take 36 points in necrotic damage.

36 points of necrotic damage. 36 points of necrotic damage. We don't have the bonus hit points either, do we anymore? Nope. Scanlan, 26. It takes 16 points in necrotic damage. Was it 18 points? Yes, 18.

Tarian, 26. Wow, 18 points in necrotic damage. Doty, one. Doty takes 36 points in necrotic damage. 36, okay. Yes. All righty, you watch as you pull back, and the sand kind of sifts in,

and you can see another face beneath below with a burst of dark energy just echoes out. And a 60-foot radius fills the hallway with this high-pitched shrieking sound. As it hits all of you and the breath escapes you for a second, this circle of death-like sphere that opens up around, passes all of you, and you hear the shriek echo through both sides of the hallway.

Skeetons, it's that. Clicking my boots, and I'm gonna burn my quick heel just mine as well. Okay. So you guys are pushing forward, staying before you are? What are you doing? Should you heal us before we pop- doing anything in here?

Can you hear this? Yeah, I can heal us. I took my boots. That was a lot. That was a lot. Do it. I'm doing this. Okay.

I hear battle music. I'll cast mass cure wounds. Perception right. Tight, tight, tight, tight. Yeah, Pike's doing mass. All right, mask cure wounds. How much they heal everybody? 3 to 8 plus spell casting ability,

mobfire. before. Oh, shit. So whatever you roll plus five. 31%. Okay. You listen out and you hear the sound like low voices, things shifting, a slight, like, just general kind of humming sound.

The bright light that was there before is not there at the moment. You still see the fire, but. This sounds like anything I've ever heard before? Make an intelligence check. Everybody feels an extra 18 points. Natural 20. Natural 20. You do remember it.

The low hum that temporarily appears was very close to the sound whenever anybody was throwing something into the dark sphere above the ziggurat. I was wondering. You said 18? 18 points. And they've heard that before? Apparently. A different one.

No one's rolled initiative. No one knows where you're hearing. Not yet. You haven't thrown into combat yet. You guys just hit a trap and hurt things ahead. If we can wait 60 seconds, I can make us an elemental. Okay. Well. Would the magic fade if we get too close to the ziggurat, though? Maybe we'll have to fight things outside of the ziggarot. That's a good question. I have a mild confession. And maybe I should have said this a little earlier. Danger in coming.

But now I'm gonna say it now. One night I might have sneak down into the middle of the zigger out, and I stuck my hand in it. What the fuck? Why would you do that and what happened? Well, I wanted to find out what would happen, and I find out it's real bad. It's really bad, is what I found out, and it nearly crushed my hand to a point of oblivion, and I think I get really lucky.

So I think it just crushes anything that it tries to suck in. But it's a doorway. I shot an arrow through it. It is. Maybe you have to move. I think your arrow happened to be tiny and fast. Well. Bekiki. Yeah.

Those 60 seconds have passed. Let's go. You were talking instead of casting a spell. Do you want to take another minute to cast a spell? Thanks for the convention though. All right. So what are you guys doing? Moving forward. Keeping an eye out for those fucking us.

That's all I mean. All right. Don't jump in. No, she wanted to summon an elemental. I don't want to summon an elemental. You guys rush forward and like a hot, a hot wind is kind of picking up through the tunnel. You're not quite sure directionally where it's coming from. As you move forward and through the winding passage, maybe 60 feet ahead as it opens up,

you see it kind of splits into two different pathways of natural interior rock formations. And you can see it. a larger chamber beyond that. So you have the right and left. I pop trinket out. Okay, trinket, f, crop saturday necklace. What are you guys doing? Can I feel the, like, can I hear the noise of the ziggurat

or the coming from either side more? You hear it from both sides. So it's everywhere. It doesn't matter. What about like wind or anything? I mean, there is just a general wind in the room, but it's kind of whipping around you, it's picking up bits of sand and dust from the ground.

Do we see faces on either side? Perception check. Follow the other than look as well. Back up. 28. 24. Okay. You don't see any faces immediately within the two paths that are ahead of you.

However, as you glance past one of the edges you can see, within the chamber, you can see the sources of some of that flickering firelight. You see two, looks like clay bowls, large clay bowls that are set on the ground that have just burning materials inside. side. Wood, cloth, who knows what, but it's just like burning this kind of bright, orange, red flame, not a natural yellow flame, like a deep orange-red flame. And it's causing this glow to emanate around the room, and you see the flames flickering and moving with the wind that's blowing about.

Safe to assume this goes to the same room, yeah? Just two different entrances? Maybe. Yeah, so let's flake. I feel like there's traps down this down. Okay, so we have... Percy, Keele from the left. All right. Who else? Who's going on? I'm going right. I'm going right.

I'll go left. All right. Right. I'll roll with Percingula. Okay, Persingula's with Vex, grog on the right. Who's else in the right? I'll go right. Vex's right.

Pike? Right or left? Yep. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. Okay. Trinkets with you. All my people to the right. All right.

All right. So, indeed. Indeed, this is, what looked at two different hallways was one entrance to the chamber that was divided by a singular column in the center. So you both kind of flank around as it opens up inside, and you see a 50-foot tall, 70-foot-wide natural cavern chamber that rounds out over the top, and you see it end on the opposite side. There are two pillars nearer to your end that both hold defaced statues of a woman on each. A woman?

Diffaced statues of a woman, like partially destroyed and collapsed. There are elements broken on the ground. The heads removed. In the center of the chamber, you see before you, a massive stone-stepped pyramid. Similar to the Zygrat you found below. The design is a little different, and you get the sense that a lot of it is still buried. It's just the top has been uncovered and repurpose for whatever this may be. You do see, there are a number of cloaked figures scattered across these steps.

And some of them are out looking in your direction as soon as you kind of come around the side. They're all wearing the same black outfits to cloak. Some of them have the hoods back, some have the hoods on. Roughly on any. Roughly you have, looks to be six or seven point you can view. There are two of them at the very, very top that currently have a number. another looks like a crate that has been opened. And there, above them, you can see the black orb,

exactly like the one you have behind, underneath white stone. And they're in the process of taking objects out and throwing them up into the sphere. And you watch them just flash and vanish into the darkness. And you see one cloaked figure that's currently shouting out and given commands right now. Do they see us?

With all of your stealth, you've got a 19, Correct. One of them, shouts out. We have visitors! Shit. Did they only see that side then? Do they see us come around the other side of the pillar or is it they see all of us? Well, as soon as they all glance over, you guys are kind of just out in the open of a hallway. Once they see him, they see the spread of you.

As this happens, you watch as a number of skeletons kind of walk out from the halls. balls and from the sides, and one seems to suddenly shake and rise up from the ground a large skeleton with what looks like giant horns that curve out of the head. It's standing about 12 feet tall. Looks to be some sort of a minotar-like beast, but just bone and anger. How far away is the ziggurat? The ziggurat from you guys? Well, let's pull out a map. I may be able to get this here. It's such a big map.

It's a big one. He's got a huge mud. Actually, Travis, you want to help me with this real fast? This time it's big. This is, we're working out of the king's on here, guys. Thank you very much. Guys, so many great things available in the store tonight. Those posters.

What? The Scanlan thing. Oh, shit. Yeah. This is a real deal. Wait, we didn't do this last time, did we? Nope. He just bought with grog.

We would never have seen us and we would never have seen this. We would all be dead right now. We would all be dead. We would have taken them off. all out in one clean kill. You guys just quietly. We have an overhead cam. So we can be looking out after all of time.

Okay. Wow. This is the place, guys. This is what I saw. Matt only has to manage 22 individual characters right now. Yeah, no, it's great guys. I love it. It's wonderful. So when we tell you which direction we want to go, Matt,

it's from your perspective. Okay, well, try and tell me, do the best you can to see. You're going to look here. The map's right. Towards and away from the ziggurot, and the ziggurats 12 o'clock, and we're six o'clock. We'll just say leeward and windward. No.

We'll say. Starbird. Okay. So there is a, the singular figure standing up here. It seems to be giving orders and shouting it out to the side. Female voice rings out across the central of the chamber and says, Remnants, slay the intruders and grant their bodies to the cause. Can I see whose voice that was?

Make a perception check. Whoa. That was crazy. 27. 27. It's hard to see. She's kind of in the dark right there in the sphere, isn't a lot of light, but the voice sounds familiar.

All right, so at this point, the woman pulls an amulet. The woman pulls an amulet out from beneath the robe, and as she clutches it in her hand, the orb, And the orb shifts from black to white. What? Like a white gray color? And you watch as the wind suddenly gets whipped up even heavier and lights up the area around the space. You watch as the cloaked hood kind of flows back.

And for a brief moment before the grin crawls across her face, you see the face of Delilah Breyerwood. She's dead! She's dead! She died! We killed her! Oh no! Yeah, there she is, at the top of the ziggurat. How?

How! It's like a soap opera! Dun-dun-dun-dun! I broke the world for you, returns! I would like you all to roll initiative. Oh! What? On our...

What? I know, I know, I know. This looks like a crazy fight. Oh shit, I didn't have that thing. Natural. Nice. All righty. All righty.

Feeh, a little bit more important, but it's fine. You got to go first. Yeah. So 25 to 20. 20. 20 for Scanlan. Sorry, is it? 22 type of Scanlan.

No, mine's just 20. All right, so Percy. Percy and Scanlan are tied. Scanlan. Okay. All right. Does Doty roll? I forget. No.

It just goes with Therian. Yeah, I'm letting him go with Taryn. Sure, sure. You should keep track of that. All right, 20 to 15. Tarian, 16. 15. All right, so we have Grog.

Grog Tierra. You got Bax. 17? Oh, Bax, would you say? 15. 15. And you said 17 for Terry? 16 for Taryn.

All right, so. All right. 14. 14. 14. What did you get? He got 17. He got 17.

Did you tell you? Oh. Seven days. I'm not used to this. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So many things on the board. I wonder if those statues were kind of life. All righty.

So, who else is left? Pike? Seven. No. Which is so good at initiation. Rolling. All right, great. I don't have any. So at the beginning of this initiation,

with the orb now flaring this like pale gray white, and Delilah Briarwood standing there at the top of the ziggurat, staring down, like focusing on the group of intruders that is just rushed in. Kieleth, it's your turn. Oh, God, okay. I am going to, under my hood of the cult hoods that I have, transform my face with alter self into Silas Briarwood. Okay.

Who's that? Her husband. her dead husband. And I'm gonna have his face, I'm gonna walk forward, and I'm gonna say, Delilah, don't. It is me. Oh, hello. Make a deception check.

Your long loss is pretty. So as you step forward into the chamber, over into this. Not good. This is not good. This is not good. Sunshine. This is not good? I'm not good at this shit.

Natural twin. It's not bad. Not bad. 14? No. No, that's it. 14? It's mediocre. Okay. No, that's all I got.

14's good for me. It's dark. Okay. All right, so that's your action. As you say this up to Delilah, her eyes flash over to you and her face goes like, Oh no. Yeah. She's mad.

She's mad. You have your movement and a bonus still. Is that movement and a bonus? Yeah. You know that feeling when you hear one interesting thing, and suddenly you want to know more? Well, that's the idea behind my podcast, something you should know. Every episode starts with a question you've probably never thought to ask,

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I am going to take my bonus to just ignite my form into a fire elemental, and rush towards the closest thing to me. Okay, there are two skeletons to your right and left. So you're turning into a fire elemental. I know, I'm trying to figure out where everything is. Where are we? So. I'm there.

There you go, Kielis. Okay, I have a 50-foot movement. I want to hit as many skeletons as I can by running through them and catching them on fire. Okay, so with that you can do, one, two, three, three. four, five. You can probably get this whole cluster here. Yep. All righty. So

they all catch fire as you rush through. You do get a lot of types of opportunity on you as you rush by. I'll take it. That is 15. Right? What am I against? What? What's your AC for your file elemental?

Oh. Hit. All right. So it's 11 points of slashing damage. Reduced to half because you take half damage, right? Yep. So five, please. That's a 13.

Miss. No, hit. Armour class is 13. All right, another five points of slashing damage. Ten. Miss. Eight. Miss.

Miss. My girlfriend is a pet. Okay. That one. That is a 15 from the middle. 15 from the Minotaur skeleton. Hit. You take 17 points of slashing damage, reduced to eight.

And the last one is a natural 20. So you take 22 points of slashing damage, reduced to 11. And they are all set of flame. All of them take, I believe, fire damage from impacting you, right? Yep. So we'll say, eight damage across the board for all of them. So all them get hit with fires as they swipe out at you. including the giant minotaur that just swings over you

with this large great axe in its hand and just burst into flames as it does so. Awesome. All right, that ends your turn, Kieleth? Delilah, who's currently like glaring at Kieleth. And the rest he looks out and goes, Of course it would be you, wouldn't it? I'm standing.

She takes a step back, leans out without breaking kind of contact, goes, finish your work. Just in this, sorry. And slams her. hand down on the ground and you watch as this sphere of rainbow color completely encompasses around the top of the ziggurat. It's pretty, I don't know. You now just see this large orb, this dome of multicolored rainbows that flickers for a second, and then briefly becomes a singular color.

It's like a giant. Chromatic sphere. You see it's, it is a giant. like prismatic sphere around. And the color you see now as it flickers for a minute becomes just stark red, just deep ruby red. It's so pretty. Look at it you guys. Taste the rainbow.

These people feel ducks, Lionel. Kill them all! Percival, Scanlon. What are you guys doing? Scanlon you first, because I'm, my plan just went up the rainbow. All right. I'll step forward and I will, is Vax or Vex near me? Vex is near me, right? Vex is nearer, yeah.

I will inspire Vex. I will sing to her. I will sing, you don't need anybody else. When I stand beside you, I touch you elf. Whoa. You know, something's a little creepy. That's working your way back up. Yeah, yeah.

There you go. Kind of, sort of. And then I'll cast reverse gravity on everybody. Everybody in there, all their shit. All righty. So what's the radius on that? I miss that. My templates are still back in the shelf.

If someone grab my templates real fast, that'd be awesome. 50 feet. 50 foot radius? Oh, that's going to get everybody in there, including probably Keyless. It's a D12? I can take it. I'm into this.

But you can fly though, right? Well, I can kind of like fire hover. That's true. I've got sticky feet right now, so I ain't going nowhere. Templits. Yeah. All right, reverse square, perfect. So, Dexterity saved across the world.

Spell DC with the hand cone, I believe? 22. Nope. Fuck their shit up. Oh. Nope. Does it affect people in the dome? Nope.

You don't know. We'll hear a thunk, won't we? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. You see over here a number of other robed figures and one that looks like it's heavily armored in the front as well. A couple of small other cultists that are down on the sides, but they all apparently. Okay. The armored one actually manages to grab the stonework and hold on. Oh boy. Matt's hating this. Everyone else, except for that one armored guard just rises up and

Wham! Slams into the ceiling at 50 feet up. That is 5D10 points of damage. Is that including me? Oh, D6, sorry. Thank you very much. Perfect. Is that including me or no? That would be including you.

Okay. Let me just reiterate. We always appreciated Scanlan. I just need to hear it more, guys. I mean, I'm just... 20 points of bludgeoning damage, which completely destroys these skeletons who were damaged earlier from the fire.

Yep. Go along, pawns. The, uh. Wouldn't want to be here. All right. Are you maintaining it or letting them fall? Maintain, maintain, maintain. Dude, maintain.

All righty. So everyone else is just being held in the air right now against the ceiling. The people inside the dome know. They seem to be unaffected. Oh, that's Zigaract. Anti-magic dome. All right. I'll move a little closer in.

Okay. So like, over here. here next to the pike. Sure. Okay. All right. That ends. Scalyn's turn.

Percy, what are you doing? I'm going to pull out bad news. I figure, actually, yeah, let's pull out Anemus. This will be funny if I'm walking around that way. Okay. Which is always a fun thing to say. There's that one guy holding on, right? There's one guy holding on, yeah.

There's one guy holding on. I'm going to use my gun to make him drop an object of my choosing. Oh, shit. And that object is going to be the pyramid. So just remembering how to do this. Yeah, so roll for an attack. Roll for an attack. Yes, come on.

That's 29. That'll hit. All right, he has to make a strength saving throw. Strength saving so against 20. Saving so. Nope, five plus five, that doesn't know. So he goes, drop it and slams into the ceiling as well, taking, that is 22 points of bludgeoning damage off of the black.

Can you a close line him on his way up as a fire elemental? Sure. Attack of Opportunity? Close enough. You switch over there. It's fine. More of a flavor element. Yeah.

Okay. So they're all the visual creatures you can see right now are held against the ceiling right now. Okay. Is he still alive? Oh yeah. I don't suppose I have advantage to hit anything that's pinned to the ground right, pinned to the ceiling right? They are technically, I'm going to say for the purposes of falling up, there probably a lot of them are prone. So you'd actually have disadvantage being so weird. Oh, I'll take it.

Yeah. And I'll burn a next door. I hit the wrong thing. I meant to hit, there we are. And there we are. Oh, yeah, I'll burn another point for advantage and shoot him again. Okay.

Just with a straight roll. That's 19, yeah. That hits. And that's 1D2. One D10. Is the same armory figure? Yeah, same guy. All right.

Um. That's, uh, uh, nine points of damage plus three points of psychic damage. Uh, okay. Good. Okay, 12. All right.

And I'll hit him again. Alrighty. The same thing. I hit him again. Uh, this time I'm just gonna take a bonus for a hex on him too for extra extra fun. Sure, right there. That's 27.

Yeah, that hits. So that's not bad. That's 17 points of damage, plus three points of psychic damage and five points of necrotic damage. Nice. So you're just like just firing up at this figure. The one shot sends it falling up into the ceiling, and as soon as it, I say before it impacts,

as it's still floating up in the air, you shoot it once while it's still falling upward, and then it slams into the ceiling, and then you get one final shot and hit it while it's there. across the top. Hard to see if it's really that hurt, but it's currently a little wounded. Yeah, and he's got disadvantage on,

I would say, dexterity checks for now, because that's funny. All right. You want to move, first of all? You stay where you are. I'm slowly going to make my way around towards the Ziggurat. So I'm going to be actually walking up on the wall. So you can just put me up on the little creases.

There? Yeah, I'm walking sideways as gravity is kind of reversed right now. Okay, cool. I'll make my way to, yeah, as far as I can get towards. towards the sphere. Okay. And that radius, by the way, is maintained as long as you concentrate on that. So anybody who walks into that radius will have to make a deck save or be flung up into that. So that being the case, ending Scanlan's turn and Piercy's turn, all right. The cultists that are currently locked on the ceiling are going to start running to get up and run this way. So they're technically up on the ceiling right now.

This way. Those two are just continued their work. You don't see what's in there. Grog, you're up. Oh, is it me and Chad? Let's see here. Wow. Actually, no. I disagree. They actually can take an action this turn from that distance.

So I need Grog and Pike to both make wisdom-saving throws. I have, I mean, I have Noam cunning, so I have advantage on Wisdom, intelligence, and courage. 14. What did you say it was wisdom? Wisdom. 20? Well, roll on your advantage, you get advantage.

Maybe I don't need it. But try it if you could roll the natural 20. Advantage for which one? So I've known cunning. Advantage on wisdom, intelligence, charisma, saving throws? Just in general? I guess so. Against magic, I think it is, right?

Against magic. Yeah. So yeah, I think we have that function. Okay, yeah, yeah. So you're, you managed to avoid both of you guys actually just managed to roll it. They're not extremely powerful, but you manage to shrug off the effect. You feel the, the magic being to try and take hold over the inside of your brain. Your muscles begin to tense and seize up and you just, uh, manage to shrug it's a familiar smell. It's a familiar feeling. It is a it is one that you're familiar with as well, Pike. It is a whole person attempt on both of you. Oh, I know you did. I know what you were trying to do. All righty. I know what you are. All right, that ends their turn of Grog. You're up. Okay, where does that sphere of vertical influence start about it?

You're not entirely certain, Grog. Awesome. I'm gonna go into a rage and just haul ass along this line, coming to this wall. This wall? Yep. Okay, so you rush into this wall here, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw. Cool. I have advantage on those. Yep. It's not a 12.

14. Yeah. Grog, you start running and and then go flying up into the ceiling. Oh, shit. It affects the area? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, it's right. It's great going. You take 17 points of bludgeoning damage. And, whack, up to the top, yeah, half that. So you're now locked on the ceiling as well. Nine, yeah. Eight. However, that does put you in melee range and prone

with one of the occultists in the ceiling. Totally meant to do that. All attacked. So you're now upside down on the ceiling, the guy who just cast the spell and it didn't work on you, watch you tumble up, Land get up and stare him down in this face.

Aye. His hood kind of falls off. You see a guy who's staring at you now with like one eye plucked out of his socket. He's just like, Might as well make a matching one. Reckless. Natural 20.

Yay! He's wrecked, baby. Make it. There it is. That's what you needed. 10. Extra check. Four.

So I rolled a 10. 14. And two more of these. 7.31. 11.42. Oh, dear. Okay. You smile at him, bring the axe back, and you just completely, like we're talking tree trunk. Like he just slides over and his body attaches to the ceiling and collapses against that, just blood splattering out from its midsection.

It's being really gross in this ends. So you still have at half movement. about 20 feet you can run across. Yeah, I'll keep trying to come to this wall. This wall? Yeah, away from here. 5, 10, 15, 20. That's great.

That's about as far as you get. There's the other cultist there, but you don't have range with your axe. Desmatern. Okay, finishes Grog's turn. All right, Lionel. Okay. You're over here currently. I move forward and I jump into the radius so I can float up too.

Okay, so you run forward. And as I'm flying, up and saying, I'll save you, Grog! Yeah. Come on, buddy! Do you go into a rage first, or do you want? I am... It'll reduce your impact damage as you land.

What? Wait, what? You'll take less damage. If you want to be raging first, you'll take less damage from the impact. Yeah, you know what? Let's rage. Okay. So you're just joyfully leap into the sky. It's the duck rage.

You take six. A big smile rage. Six-smile rage. to take eight points of bludging damage as you slam into the ground up top, stand up, and you're about five feet between you and Grog, and one of the cultists is there right in front of you, who's like, shit. And then I just, yeah, I rage. Yeah, do you want to attack him? Yeah. All right, go for it.

I think the anti-gravity is screwing me up. Three plus, oh, three plus 12. Three plus 12 still hits, actually. He is. Yeah, he does a clumsy, and... All right, so go for a strike. So 2D6 plus 10. Damage.

Oh, just two of these? Seven. Plus 10. Plus 17. 17 points to slashing damage as you pull your great axe up and just rake past. You see this chest kind of split open, and he kind of pulls back.

He's still alive, and he looks up at you from under the hood, and you can see he himself is also missing one of his eyes. I think he got a second attack. Second attack, Greg. Rage, bonus action, enterage, rage, last as long as while raging. We had extra attack as a barbarian, so you get a second attack if you'd like. Yeah, okay. All right.

D20. Yeah, do this again. Yeah, oh! 20. Oh, natural 20. Roll 4. D6. So roll 46. He's so plush, though.

It's really... Whoa. Four, five. Is that a 20? Six. Two more sixes? That's a one? Is it to rerol-O-1?

No. He does because of his great weapon. Yeah. Reroy it. Better. Okay. Vagely. So that's 17.

17. Plus 10. Plus 10. 27. Okay. And so the first strike comes him across the chest, he rears back. Oh, that wasn't enough. And with the second kind of half-ass swipe, he just, fagg.

It goes down and spills out all across the ground or the ceiling for you. That cult is just done. Done. Not bad. Yeah. All righty. That finishes your turn. Tarian.

Doty, stay here, and I'll jump on the broom and fly. Oh, I cast fly on my... No, wait, I don't have to cast fly. I'm on a broom. I'm going to fly. It's hard to keep track three characters. Yeah. Well, Matt does it all the time.

Oh my God, the walls are tall enough that you can put that above people and it won't be a problem. Possibly. We'll find out. All right. So where are you going, Terry? fly straight into the steps. All right, so you're just going double, like a dash, or just your movement? I mean, can I get there in one fly?

10, 25. 30, is the speedy the broom? Isn't it 40? It's 40, right? You can get there. It's as close as you can get on one movement. Damn. That's pretty close, though.

I mean, you can throw something at it. All right, well, I can't get all the way there, so I'll cast something. Um, shit. Uh, it's a, it's a prismatic thing, right? Yeah, it looks like, I mean, right now you have it just this big red dome, this ruby, bright red dome that's just glowing with light right now. I mean, would a prismatic spray beat a prismatic spray? Probably not, right? I don't know. What do you think?

Shit. I'm not gonna risk it. I'm gonna just point straight up and, uh, and throw, um, are there, is anyone above me? Yes, actually. These guys here, all of them are on the ceiling right now. Any skeletons you see, anything on there are on the ceiling currently. And I'm up a bit, so I can throw something at them? Yeah. I'll throw, uh, or yeah, I guess drop it.

Yeah. I will, I'll drop a thing of fire up there. A thing of fire up there? Alchemic fire, a little pot of- At which one? There's the skeleton, this- Can I hit two of them? It has a five-foot radius.

Yes, you can hit these two. Great, I'll go for both of them. All righty. So the skeleton and the guy are gonna make, it's cocked, the skeleton, what's the DC? 17. 17. Unfortunately, the occultus makes it, the skeleton does not.

So the cultus kind of dodged out of the way on the ceiling and it smashes into the ground by the skeleton bursting into flames. How much damage is it deal with the skeleton? I'm 15th level or 16th level. You're 15th. Okay, 5D6. So.

5D6 fire damage at the skeleton. Skeleton? Mm-hmm. Vax, you're up next. 16. 16 points of fire damage? All right, that skeleton just fire consumes it. It's still currently standing,

and all the flames are kind of licking through its rib cage. That ends your turn? I will, as a bonus action, cast a sanctuary. Am I within 30 feet of any of my friends? Right now? Nope, on myself. All righty. Vax, you're up.

Boots on, Boof go the wings. I have two actions left. It's really hard to see. How far am I from a skeletal minotaur? Right there, you are approximately 40 feet. Forty feet. And nowhere on the board are any of my allies within melee combat range of any enemy here?

Nope, anyone that was killed whatever they were fighting. That's what I figured. Okay, so I'm just going to use my actions, my two remaining actions to go, throw daggers at Minotaur skeleton. All right. From where you are? From where you're standing? Because I'm 40 feet away.

Yeah, I'm in range. You have sharpshooter because that filler would give it right. No, I didn't say it on the first. Do you have sharp shooter right, you said, with your daggers? I have it if I choose it, but I don't want to choose it. Right, no, I'm asking just because that that's ruler gives it cover. I have sharp shooter, right. Ignore three quarters.

So the first one is a 19. Hits. Good. And the second one. is, oh that hits for sure, that's a 16, bucker, burke, burke, but that's 28. Okay, so for the first one, I am going to unload some smite in this motherfucker

because I know he's undead. That is three, plus eight is 11, plus psychic damage is 17 plus 3D8 because he's undead. So 17 plus 8 is 25, 29, Ah, 36 for the first attack. 36 damage. As you just fling the dagger out, it seems to skid across the stone of the pillar in front of it, leaving these bright white sparks as it hits, comes through and strikes into the chest. As it does it burst of the divine energy. Watch as some of the ribs shatter and scatter across the stonework. Yeah, fucking feathers, buddy. And then the second one is four, which is just four plus the smite. and that gets 4 plus 8.

It's 12. 15. 22. 22. Oh, wait, I can only smite once per round, or I can do it any time. You can smite? I believe so. I don't do any attack. I mean, the little check one fast.

I think it's whenever you spend a spell slot, so I don't think there's a limitation per round. That's part of what makes Palin so crazy at the higher levels, actually. But just to make sure of that, so the internet doesn't hate me. Yeah, no, there's no limitation on that. So, 22. And I'm also going to use my movement.

Alrighty. Is there enough room to fly safely over big skeleton? Yeah, it's about 12 feet tall. So as long as you get within 20 feet over it, you can. Okay. Then I want to get into the back corner closest to Liam on the map. Oh, over here? Yeah, 120 feet of movement.

Over here, you mean? Yeah, yeah. All right. You were over somewhere in this area on the mat. As far back from the enemies as I can be. Yeah, that's good. All right, cool. Done.

All right, that ends your turn. Vex. Has anybody tried shooting anything through the orb? Not yet, no. Okay. Well, I'm gonna try hunters marking Delilah. You have no sight on her. I don't? No, all you see is just a sphere of red.

Oh, it's not transparent. No, it blocks everything. I understand. All sight is obscured with light. And it's very bright. Like the whole room is just lit up. It's almost like having to squint a little while looking at it. Okay, I'm gonna try to shoot an arrow then at where I remember her being.

Okay, go for it. Want to attack? Do it. Because it's red. Yes. Natural 20! Awesome. Arrow shatters, no effect.

Oh, what a waste. Because it was very cool. Okay, mother fuck. Okay, then I'm gonna hunters mark that big guy and I'm gonna shoot him with a flaming bowstring. Okay. Y'all motherfuckers need seven, right? Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, well, you got a 20 though the last time. Yeah, when it didn't fucking count. Well, we all gotta eat a little humble pie once in a while. I, I, even You, motherfucker. Don't rub it in my face when I just run it in your face. Anything you want to do with the Trinket? Trinket's movement? Well, he's gonna, no, because he has to wait because he's gonna get hit. He's gonna get bludgeoned.

Okay, ends Vex's turn. The skeletons are not going to go. I am gonna move back into the little corner that's next to me. Right here. Yeah, and Trinket will follow me in there. All right, Trinquet moves in. Perfect. The skeletons now get up and start rushing in towards the nearest members.

Right now, it looks like this one's going to rush towards Grog. This one's going to rush towards Kieleth there. This one's also going to rush in towards Kieleth. The Minotaur, who got impacted, angrily, sees you start past, turns around, not within range, instead it's going to move up towards... This knight is also going to move in towards Kieleth. These guys up on the top are going to go ahead and just focus. in that way. All right, so first, the Minotaur swings up with his axe.

Wv-W-F-W-F-W-W-H-W-W-H-M-H-M-It makes a giant swing towards you, Linal. Actually, no, what it's going to do is it's going to rush up instead, put its head down, and charge forward towards you. Okay. With its horns in front, and it's attempting to strike you with its horns. I don't roll that. So that's 18 to hit? What's your armor class?

Oh, it is 18. 18. Okay, so that just barely hits. You suffer 13 plus 9. You take 21 points of piercing damage, reduced to half, so it's 10 because you're raging. And I need you to make a strength saving throw.

Saving to. So mine is plus 10. And that's what this does, right? Yeah. What are you doing? For saving throw. Yes. Oh, okay.

Plus 10. 23. Yeah. So you're not pushed. You get the impact and you kind of like the horns come in your chest. Like, oh, that hurt. But this giant creature is stopping its tracks. Yeah, it's hooves are kind of scraping into the ground and you're just immovable.

That's in its turn. That's skeleton attacks on Kieliff. That's 18? HIT. Uh, 13. Hits. All right. is my armor class.

All right, so you take... I'm of fire element. 22 points of slashing damage, reduced to 11 from the two attacks. 11, so I'm at 52. And, uh, all right. Dungeons and dragons. Hmm. The blackguard is going to make three attacks with this giant glave that it has.

It's like, you know, up and close, you can see this jagged black armor. He's on me? Yeah. He... He's gonna rush up with this glade that it spins. all three attacks on you. That is... He's probably going to hit me.

23. 18? And 16. All righty. So you take nine plus thunderous smite damage. That's going to be... 21 points of damage. Oh, sorry.

It's going to be nine points of slashing, which is reduced to five or four. And then you take an additional 15 points, sorry, 15 points of thunder damage. So 19 points total? Correct. Just mark that off. The second strike,

okay. The second strike is going to go ahead and hit you again. It's going to burn another strike. for another smite. So on the second one, you take another four points of slashing damage, plus 13 points of radiant damage to you. Or does this mean a crotic? Necrotic damage.

This is coming from the skeleton minotaur? No, this is from the armored guy. Gotcha, okay. And the third strike hits you for four points of slashing for a third of one dark smite to suffer. Another 13 points of necrotic damage. Uh, that brings me exactly to zero. You drop your form.

I dropped form. Just form. I tanked that motherfucking fight, y'all. Yeah, man. So, for that point, all of a sudden, your form drops in place. All right. Still on the ceiling, right? Yes, you are.

The war priest across the way. way, he's going to look outward and begin to focus and chant under his breath. A little bit of light begins to show, once again, the sign of the missing eye in most of these individuals. Delilah was not missing an eye, it seemed, but the rest of them seemed to have this appearance amongst them. As it releases this form of energy, you watch as a familiar, darker burning flame begins to spill across the ceiling as a flame strike works its way. Oh, yeah. And what it was like, see. Not a firestorm, flame strike. Sorry, so it's a column.

What flame-fose? Okay. Scanlan is, if you're looking for, is it 60-foot range is what you're asking? Yes, it is. I'll counter spell that. Canterspell the flame strike? Sure. All right.

Scamlin, scan. Oh, missed you. This is not a problem. All right, I need you go ahead and roll a D20, add your charisma modifier. Charisma modifier. Is just a plus two? Wait, no. Wrong guy, wrong guy, wrong guy.

Yeah. Sorry, it's a flame strike, not a firestorm. Oh, 19. 19 will do it. With that, as the flames begin to well out in this column of fire and dark divine energy begins to well up, you just reach out, uh-uh, snap your fingers, and the spell just vanishes in the spot.

Short halt. Short halt. Short halt. Short halt. I don't feel the love. I don't feel the love. I need to get away for just another year. This... Oh, ho, ho.

That necromancer, however, is going to impact in the center of the chamber, a burst of necrotic energy that just billows out in the center, a 60-foot radius. It's going to affect all of you guys. I need you all... ...me up in the corner? Everyone but you because you're way out of the way. Mr. Way out of the way guy. That's what I do. Yep.

Ceiling and floor. Ceiling and floor. Because it's a large enough radius where it affects the entire space. So I need you guys to roll Constitution saving throw for me, please. Who? Everybody but Vax. And no, it'll still affect Doty. And I have an advantage because of the cabal.

What did you do? Yes, you do. I suck tonight. Natural 20. Yeah. Yeah. I can't help it. I can't help it.

All righty. So, the Mother bitch. Wait. Laura, did you roll? Oh, I can add inspiration. Okay, okay, okay, okay. No, that's not gonna save me.

Okay, so over here, grog. 26. Six, you take 15 points of necrotic damage. Pike. 15. 15, you take 15 points necrotic damage. 10. You take 30 points necrotic damage.

23. 15 points necrotic damage. Natural 20. 15 points necrotic damage. 10. 30 points necrotic damage. Scanlan. 24.

24, you take 15 points of chronic damage and make a concentration check, please. Constitution saving throw with advantage, because you Do you have a warcaster? Plus anything or just? Advantage, advantage. Plus your constitution saving throw bonus. Constitution saving throw.

It's a lot. 22 on the first one. You have advantage, but yeah, so you maintain concentration, you're fine. 22. All righty. And I need Tarian. 13 plus sevens, 20. All right, 15 points of necrotic damage to Tarian.

As the wave kind of fades off, you hear the chuckle of the two cultists, and they stepped backwards into the red sphere. Weren't they on the ceiling? You're right. Sorry. They were on the ceiling. They were so disappointed.

Thank you for the reminder. They were my least favorite. I know, fair enough. No, but you're right. Is Doty is going to hit? Doty does get hit, yes. Okay, he's out. All right, Doty is on the ground.

Thank you for the reminder. Oh, wait, how many points? 30. 30 necrotic. He's out. Trinket. Oh, did Trinket roll? No.

Roll for Trinket. Trinket. 30 points in quadet to Trinkin. Okay. All righty. That ends, there we go there. Pike. Okay, so I am going to hold my turn

until after Scanlan goes. Oh, yeah, can you hold an action. I'm going to hold. What are you going to hold? What are you going to hold? What are you going to hold? Oh, I have to tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna do essentially yes as opposed to moving your initiative around the order

you can still move on your turn and then like if you're gonna cast or attack you start it and then wait for someone to trigger it and then release it when it happens I'm gonna I'm gonna hold I'm gonna cast guiding bolt but I'm gonna hold it until after Scanlan's already right correct now he's at the bottom Scalon's close to the top okay so you begin casting guiding bolt and you're waiting for what's the trigger for Scanlan to go? For Scanlan to take on the spell.

End of your turn? Yes. Keelith, you're up. Okay, how many people are still on the ceiling with me? Grog, Lionel, Ah. Grog, Lionel and a number of skeletons, the guard, the blackguard, the two other casters over there,

the Minotaur skeleton. Okay. I drop for him, I'm gonna look around and go like, ha, hang, ha, ha, ha, and then drop my staff, and then do firestorm, boom, voof, radiating out for me. And I wanna try and avoid Lionel and grog, but basically radiating out, just fire floods the ceiling.

Okay, so you can hit, like backtrap. You hit like backtrap. Two, three, four, five, six, six, six, 10, 10 foot cubes. 8, 9, 10. You can just barely, you can get everyone but these two skeletons if you wanted to do a swath through that.

Everyone but the two skeletons. Actually, if you started here, you can go, 10, 30, 40, 50, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 7, 8, 9. You can either avoid the two skeletons or avoid one of those casters, your call. No, fuck the casters. Okay, so those two skeletons next to you, untouched. Everything else in there has to make

dexterity saving throw against DC 21. Natural 20 on that first skeleton. What dick. Minotaur does not make it. Let's see. Blackguard does not make it. Natural 20 on that caster there. And a 13 on that one.

So this one fails. That caster succeeds. Blackguard. Fails, Minotaur fails, Skelton succeeds. Let's go and roll damage on that. I get to re-roll ones, plus six is 14, plus 4, 18, 21, 26, 12 more damage. What did I just say? 24?

26. 26 plus 10 more, or 12 more. 26, 36, 38 damage. 38 points of damage. All righty. The skeleton is burned into ash and destroyed. The Minotar skeleton, who, even though it made the save with the 20, it had taken damage from the fall earlier,

and it was enough to wipe it out. The Minotar skeleton with that last bit also burns up. The blackguard. We gotta kill some cultists. The flames burn around the blackguard, but it stands there defiant. It seems to almost be relishing in the pain. as it like burns and tears through its armor.

What's guard motherfucker? You don't see a face. All you see is just black armor, jagged at the tips, long cloak that's not been like burnt to the back. Big glade that spins in its arm. Where is he point to him? Right there. Gotcha. Thanks. And he takes half the damage there. Just the fire now too. It doesn't set them on the fire. All righty. So that in Kieliff. That's your action. What else are you going to do? Can I move any? I can move. Can I move? Can I back out of wherever I am. Where am I?

You're right there. Two skeletons get attacks opportunity on you if you move. Up to you. I'll stay. They are pawns. Let me back out a bit. Okay. To a tax opportunity on you, that is a 24? Yeah. And a 17.

Yeah. All right, you take 22 points of slashing damage. Yeah. Sorry, honey. It's okay. All righty. You're fine. Oh, you're dead.

I'm fine. All right, what we got here? Okay. Delilah. Delilah. Hey there, Delilah. She goes through the thing? Yeah.

She just walks through it. She's going to make a dexterity check. She's going to make a dexterity check to hold on right there, and she rolls a 23. With a DC, 22, 22. 22. Your DC is 22. Two for Scanlan? Yeah. She just steps out of it and is like,

holds onto the edge. Actually, she wouldn't even have had to do that. She just steps to the edge. She's succeeded, but she basically just looks out of the sphere. You watch her face appear out in her hand, and she begins to look around for her next target. Just mad Mercer and drag shit in all over us. It's all it ever has been.

She looks over at you Pike and goes, Not this time, my dear. I need you. Delilah's got the player's handbook. Hey there, Delilah. You need you to make an intelligent saving throw, please. Intelligent saving throw? Okay, I get advantages.

Okay, okay, okay, this is good. This is good. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Don't, don't say, don't, don't jinx this. She's fine. The same fucking. Two, eight, holy fuck. Nine.

Oh, fuck. Nine. Bye. Dice. That changes ever. As her finger reaches out to you, your brain goes a little numb and a little fuzzy. And the spell that you are preparing dissipates. And thought, conscious thought becomes difficult as the people mind spell takes effect.

What works on that? What works on people mind? Nothing. One month. Your intelligence and charisma become one. One month. You can't cast spells. You cannot understand language or communicate in any intellectual way.

I might be able to do a greater restoration on you, but I don't actually know if I can help you. We, we, we, we, we, Tiberius had it one time. She steps back. He'll him. Restoration. And she steps laughing back. Shit!

Into the orb. Fuck back into the Skiddle? Yep. Fuck you, Delilah. It's okay. Percy, you're up. God, fucking damn it. Can you point where a pike is on the map?

Okay. I'm going to continue further down the wall towards the evil orb of death. Okay. Is that as far as I can get? That's as far as you can get with a 30-foot movement, yeah. Okay. And I'm going to the cultist closest to me on the ceiling. Okay.

That's going to be. That one right there. That one right there. Let's do some damage with Animus and let's add a sharpshooter for it just for fun. Okay. That's 16 to hit. 16 to hit. It does not hit.

Wait, hold on. Hold on. I may have done that wrong. 17 to hit. Still does not hit. Still does it hit. As soon as you fire, it, well, it hits, but it sparks off of what looks like a big plate armor on this, on this one caster. That the robes were kind of obscuring as it hits.

it tears to the cloth, you can see the reflection of armor beneath. That's irritating. All right. Forget Sharpshooter, one more. That's better. 24 to hit. 24 hits, yeah. God damn it.

This is not the one I have, this is not the one I have the hex on. Nope. Okay, that's fine. I should have done that differently. 12 points of damage and one point of psychic damage. Alrighty. This does hit and pshh. Doesn't seem to affect it much. I'm gonna hit it again.

He's still just fine, isn't he? All right, that's fine. I'm gonna hit him again. Go for it. Scaling, you're up next? That's like 35 to hit, Jesus Christ, I rolled 19. And that's 17 points of damage and one point of psychic damage.

All righty. Still standing. He's still standing. Not showing anywhere in terror. Not showing. Like taking damage, but does not appear to be wounded significantly. Yeah, and then I'm going to use my, I'm going to use my bonus to heal myself a little bit, just because, God damn it.

So, oh, Jesus. Who is it? You're attacking again? I'm attacking one of the cultists. I'm up to 120 hit points now. This isn't the one of the fully dark armor. This is one that has like some armor under a cloak. It looks like an older man's face has like this. sort of staff at the side and a mace hanging from the belt and it's just currently casting spells from the ceiling right now. I know this is, mm, goddamn it.

I wanted to throw some electricity on it, and I just blanked because my brain is made Swiss cheese. Is it too late? I'll let you throw it on. All right, I'm just gonna add, on that last shot, I'm just gonna add five. Sure, go for it. Five D six's worth of electricity damage.

Go for it. That's 16 points of lightning damage. So he's more lightning damage. And that's five cabals. Five cabals. Five cabals. All righty. So that ends your turn, Percival?

Yeah. Scalian, you're up. Don't have much. What? Really? What? You've always ever said that. You always say that.

That doesn't mean anything. That is a Scalyn thing to say. The Minotaur fell, yeah. It was incinerated by the firestorm. It's cultists and Delilah left. And some skeletons. The dark peloton. The black figure.

The black figure. The one who's like got all that into the ball. Like the really powerful one. It's possible we can run straight to the ball. Who's with me? Who's near me? Nobody, right? Right now, nobody is near you. You are... Oh no, sorry. Pike is right next to you, but Pike is just like... But Pike can't... I can't do anything to Pike or with Pike.

All right, I'll just, I'll inspire myself. The saddest inspiration. It's raining gnomes. Hallelujah, it's raining gnomes. Everywhere we go, short, stout, tough and mean. the handsomest I've ever seen. All right. So what are you doing?

I'm gonna dimension door into the orb, into the, whatever this thing is, the prismatic ball. Okay. Hold on. Is it a decision? Please. If it's doable.

Please. Pass through magic barrier. It might just be a concentration base and if you can knock it out. I'm gonna check one thing. This is important, because this will make a big difference. Check with your heart now.

All right. Is it an action to drop anti-gravity? Yeah. No, I can just do it at will. So will you? I'm not on the same. All right. I don't care about anybody else.

Only fuck. Not into the orb of death. Right, but inside the sphere. Right next to Delilah. No, I understand. I will say, as is the nature of the spell, versus a dimension door, I need you.

Oh boy. As you begin to pass through, your form kind of folds through the magic, the very powerful magic and intent of this sphere. The ray dome of red hits you immediately. I need you to make a dexterity savings here, please. Two. Two. Oh, wait.

Oh, no. Plus six, that's eight. Plus I'm inspired. You can inspire and roll on top of that if you want it. So 18. 18. Not enough. Oh, right. That's six. Oh, God, there's a lot of D6s.

I hear right. You take 28 points of fire damage for the red. As soon as you're like in the little flash you flash through it and there's orange behind it. I need you to make another dexterity saving it through. Orange, box. Oh, no. Oh, no. Rainbow.

Ending with indigo. 18. 18. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. That is. Aboard.

Oh, no. That is. And if you make it in, you were in a death box. What's that mean? You take 34 points of force damage. No, sorry, lightning damage on this. Acid damage, I'm reading the wrong one. Acid, I get halved.

All right, so you take. 17. Points of acid damage. Oh, God. Oh, God. You pass through that into yellow. Make another dexterity saving throw. I thought to mention Dorr, I disappear to another plane and reappear. The essence of this ninth level spell. Oh, shit.

Is to not let anything pass through it. Keep it coming. So make a dexterity saving through. Uh, 16. What did you do you do? All right. Can he bounce off at some point and stop pulling through this fucking rainbow of death? This is, this, I've used this, so I'm making sure that I can...

Scanlon Short Holt. Nights fucking level. Killed by Roy G. Biv. You know what? No. I got this. No, based on how it's written, it's passing through the sphere. What do you mean passing through?

Like physically passing through the sphere. So I will say, I'm looking at the rules now, and really thinking about how it's worded and doesn't say otherwise, I'll say you can teleport into the sphere. Oh my God. You, I mean, you're going to another plane. So we can take that damage back. That's not a give me.

Yeah. I can take it, Matt. Take it back. Bring it. No. Bring it. No. You made a valid point, and the spell does specify pass through it. You did not pass through it.

You were on the third color. So what's the range on that? You can just move with... 500 feet. All right, you just peer inside. You appear within. That's it. And you're now on the inside, you can see the bright colors are there, blinding you from the interior.

Uh... Oh, God. Make a Constitution saving throw. Yeah. Congratulations. You're in a prison cell with Charles Manson. Fifteen. 15.

Oh, but I still have my inspiration. You do. 18. Okay. So the good news is you didn't take any of that damage. Oh, great. As you bamf inside the sphere. The bad news is you're blinded for a minute.

Great. Great. As it's just, the color is so bright in there, your eyes just go immediate, stark, flashing white, and you cannot see anything in there. Great. Hi, my name's Jeffrey Dahmer. Welcome to my Prismatic Spear.

You know, I would watch Jeffrey Dahmer's Prismatic Spear. All right. That was like on the TNC. So Scaling, that's your action. And my bonus. And your bonus. Is that your turn? Yeah, that's it.

That's all that. Oh, shit. All right. Okay. I can't see the danger I'm in. That's true. However, you do maintain, you didn't take any damage, so you didn't lose your concentration on the spell.

You're just blinded. All right, so now this cultists have all been slain. I forgot to do the skeletons last time, so I'll have them move in. These two skeletons are going to rush in at this turn. This one's going to go ahead and... Go ahead and 25. That's four skeletons on you, Keyleth. Four skeletons on me.

Eight misses you. Misses you. Miss. 13. Missed. Eight again. Miss. And at 24.

Hit. You take 11 points of slashing damage. Three them come swinging at you and you're dodging out of the way and then one of them just catches you across the shoulder and you're like, ah. All right, that ends there go. Save that grog.

I'm going to charge in towards the pedestal. What's the first thing that I reach? The first thing that you reach over here is skeleton. Yeah. Reckless great weapon master. Go for it. 32 minus 5, 27. That hits.

Yeah, I'm sorry. Minimum damage you destroy it. Okay. Because of the great weapon master. Right. So you just, you walk up, smash. There's one also, Jason, to you right there. Yep, him too. Go for it.

Uh, reckless did. 20, even. 20 hits, minimum damage shatters that skeleton. You can move five feet in, and get a third one if you'd like. Actually, I would like to smash the Titan's stone knuckles together and cast enlarge on myself. Okay. Instead.

So instead, you go into full, large-size grog mode here. Yeah. There you have it. Beep up, oh, you fucked. Okay. All right. That's your turn, Grog? Yep. Lionel.

Okay. Who's the closest to me? The closest to you, the skeletons here, or if you want to rush around and get to the guy in the big heavy armor? I want to go to, oh, that's the old guy, you say, with the staff? There's an old guy with the staff. There's the black knight and all the armor with the halberd or there's some skeletons. Can I make it over to the black knight and all that? Yeah, you can make it over to him. Yeah.

Five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-five, you get up to him right there. Is there anybody else any of my teammates? I want to give Bartik inspiration to someone. Oh, I want to ceiling with you. Are you like close to it? Yeah, doesn't matter. Yeah, you need it. So let me give you.

We're upside down on the ceiling. L-E-T-S-G-O, let's go, let's go. Oh, my. You know how to spell, Lionel. That's the only thing I learned. I'm so impressed. It's the only song I know, but it works. What should I get?

1D10. It's a D8, I think? The 1D8 times 3 per short. Yeah, you can use it three times. So you get a D8 inspiration dikeloff. Okay. All right. Be aggressive.

Be aggressive. And then. Can I, okay, can I hold, I'm gonna do a hold person. Okay. I want to hold that guy. All right, he's gonna make a wisdom saving throw. What's your spell DC? Oh, uh...

Top there? 16. 16. Natural 20. Oh. So doesn't work. No, as you go to, he's going to cast the spell on him and you reach out for his mind to clench it. He just kind of...

...readies his halberd, no effect. Okay. Don't I have a bone, like a nether attack, or is that raging? Is raging done with now? You're still raging. You maintain your rage as long as you're attacking things. So you're still raging. So that's two attacks?

Well, you used your action to cast the spell instead of attacking. So that's your turn. So my turn's over. That's your turn, yeah. Unfortunately. Sorry, man. All righty. Tarian.

I don't think I can get through that thing, can I? I'll fly up closer to the orb. Okay. Two cultists full of magic. Oh, where are that? And the red ruby orb. They're right above me? On the roof.

Oh, well then I'll attack them, I guess. Uh, I'll position, how wide is my prismatic? my prismatic spray cone. How wide is your prismatic spray cone? What's the cone size on it it says? Oh boy. It's just the standard prismatic spray spell. It's your everyday prismatic spray. I'll get up. Sprays and cone. It's a sugar cone, not a waffle cone. Prismatic spray, I'm pretty sure it is a 60 foot cone. Yep. So it is this big old fun guy. So what do you? What are you doing? Will it hit the protective thing as well as the people on the ceiling?

No. You can try and spray them as it is a cone. You can aim it up probably to catch the edge of it. I'll say like, yeah. All right, but I'm mainly aiming up at the two dudes above. All right, so you can hit those guys and the blackguard if you want to with all three. All righty, so go ahead and roll. A D8.

D8? Yes. Okay. Just one D8? For that guy there? Oh. Oh, that's right, to pick the color. Four.

All right, that's green. So poison for him. For the sphere. Seven. Seven for the sphere. That is violet. No effect. Okay.

That guy there? Two. Two. Orange. Okay, acid. And the guard. Cocked. Five. Five. Cold. All right, so roll 10D6.

Wow. That's a failure for him. Failure for the black card. Roll the four. And a, all three even fail. Yay! Oh, wow. There's a lot of it. 39. 39, all righty. This war priest over here, the one on the far end,

as you strike, that was with the that was with the acid ray. The green ray strikes so many because, ah, ha, ha, and then just slowly dissolves into a pile of purplish, red and mush. That begins to like smear across the roof. Everything is on the ceiling. The other two are impacted by it, and they're both reeling from the pain. They're starting to show some real wear and tear now. That's going to end yours?

Yep, pretty much. All righty. Oh, and I'll fly closer to the sphere. I said that already. Yeah. Vex. Oh, I'm up. Okay, so I would like to... So Lionel is right on that dark paladin, right? That is correct. All right, I would like to use my movement to fly,

it's probably not all of it, but 120 feet, to get to his backside and stab him in the back. You can get there. We'll start with that. Rush in. That is a 19. 19. 19 will hit, yes.

Yes, good. All right. So that is sneaking. sneak attack damage, he gets three plus eight is 11 plus where the hell did my D8 go? There it is. Okay, 16 plus sneak attack damage. Mm-hmm. Three, four, five, six, seven, and six, twenty eight, thirty two, thirty-six, twenty-eight, thirty-two, thirty-six,

ha ha, thirty-six, forty-two, forty-five. So that guy took forty-five in the back. in the back. Yes, and as you rush down with the speed of an oven bullet, you drive the blade right into the center of the armor plates, and you watch as he's chuckling with his glaive out, glaring at Lionel. And falls dead to the ground. Perfect.

So that's movement action, and what I have left is hasted action and bonus action. So I would like to use my bonus action to zip over to Pike 120 feet. As a dash, okay. Yeah. And then use my hasted action. action to carry her out of here, out where there's nobody towards the end of your map. Okay, grabbing her, you move half movement to try and pull her along with you. That's 60 feet. Correct. So you pull her. You get her about over here. That's great.

Okay. And your turn. Explain things to her because she's going to so complete. Plus I give her a bonus bonus action to tussle her hair. All right, next. Okay. Easy enough with the wind falling around. Yeah. Vex. Well that, um, okay. I'm gonna take game with the other question. I'm going to go for it. I'm going to the hunters mark them. Hunter's marking the culties. That's the old one with the staff.

Correct. Currently smoking my hacks. There's two of them that appear to be staff wielders. There was the one that was like the older one has been destroyed with acid. The other one you haven't really gotten close up to see the face of. But they're holding a staff? Yeah. I'm going to bramble shot that one that hasn't, no.

Is it a tobacco? Yeah, I'm going to bramble shot the one that I haven't seen his face yet. Okay. So, rolled his head? That was a... What is that? 30, 33. Yeah, that'll hit.

Go and roll damage. Pretty high. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 15. Nobody's standing next to him, right? Nope. 27.

27, that's right? So 27. Nice. Damage and then DC of 17, strength DC of 17. Does not succeed. Yes. He's restrained. As you slam with the air.

arrow from the other side. The vines curl up and wrap around, kind of constraining me. He's still holding the staff through part of it, but he's completely unable to move and is restrained. But he's holding the staff still? Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna hit him again. Go for it. Get it. Get it. Get it. Get it. I can't fucking add 22. 22. Does hit. Roll damage. Okay. It's late. I know. Sorry, 100th episode, guys.

Extravagance. It's not late. Bonus material. I know. I want to finish this to a narrative beat. Sorry. Thanks for hanging along, guys. Do I get sneak attack because he's restrained?

You do. Advantage, yeah. Yeah, motherfucker. Yeah. Oh, that was the shittiest additional four. Oh, no. Not like this. What?

I don't have any idea what I rolled before that. How do you mean? And roll again. I mean, oh God, I'm so sorry. Just start over. That's great. 16, 17. This is so much better than the first roll.

23. Whatever. 23, and then, oh, God, 33. 33, got it. It's fine. All right, so the other arrow hits the restraint image. Their blood kind of out of their mouth as they're being held there, and they're trying to break away,

but they're not very strong. End of your turn. Drink it? I'm gonna get on my broom. Okay, you get on your broom. Can you move anywhere? No, but I'm gonna be ready to. Yeah.

All righty. So, the necromanes that you just hit. I hunted mark did too, didn't I? You did, yeah. I didn't add my hunter's mark on either of those attacks. Okay. An additional seven for hunter's mark. Okay.

All righty. He angrily from beneath the vines gets his staff forward and chanting something under his breath, rears back and exhales and he watches a cloud of green billowing poisonous smoke spills out in this area. That's going to get all of you guys. So I want Keeleth, Grog, Lionel and Percy to to all make a Constitution saving throw, please. Is it magical? It is a cloud kill spell.

It's not poison, though, right? It is poison. It is poison. It is poison. Oh, it's not great. Oh, that's good. I'm gonna go ahead and roll my inspiration. That's better.

Oh, me. Endy Graham. Oh, do these things like a reaction. What's expected? Okay. So you take... And I have resistance against poison because of the belt of Doors? Yes, so 15 points of poison damage reduced to...

Seven. Seven. Okay. All right. Kila? 12. You suffer 30 points of poison damage. I'm okay.

I'm all right. Linal? Okay. Could have been worse. How much? Thirty. Thirty. How does Afidux back work again?

You use a reaction to reduce the damage by half. Do I have a reaction? You do. Can I do that now? Yes, and you succeed on that, so you actually reduce it to a quarter. So instead it is seven points of poison damage. Percival. I rolled 27.

15 points of poison damage. 15 points of damage. So amazing. And the cloud. The cloud remains in this area. So this whole area now, it's just a billowing cloud of just bad news. I assume we didn't hear that terrible pun from inside the orb of death. No.

No. I said, oh my lard. This is so good. What is this? Mount Mallard. Yes, I understand it happens at start of their turn, but we're trying to get through this quickly, guys. Don't worry.

Calm me down the internet, it's fine. We're fine. You can hear the internet, you can. You can hear the internet. Two skeletons, they already went. That brings us to Pike. Can I do anything? You can move and attack.

No spells. Oh, but she can attack. Oh, but she can attack. We moved her far away. Not much you can do from this angle, unfortunately. What do you want to do? No rolling against it or anything? Nope.

Okay. You get to roll against it in 30 days. Oh, cool. I'll be back in New York. Okay, let's, um. We can fix it. We can fix it. We can fix it.

Just give me a hot second. Okay. What if you die? Yeah, what if you die? I'll start. We'll have several problems that he'll dies. Just wander up. Yes, one.

Yeah. Cute, cute. I'll start walking back towards that way. This way? Yeah. Just start wandering. Yeah. You can use dash again, move.

I don't need to dash. Okay, just say back there. All right, we'll say you get that far. Then in Spike's turn, Keel, you're up. I don't know. Who's left on the ceiling with me? It's you and Grog and Lionel on the ceiling with two skeletons. and two skeletons, that's it?

And one cultist. And one fucking cultist? Yes. He's been pretty hard too. Kill the cultist. I can't help. Never mind. No, no.

I don't get to have a suggestion. Oh, my God. A lot of things have changed in a hot second. Okay. Okay. What's going on right now? Can't help. I'm not allowed to help.

Delilah is still, where's Delilah? She's hiding in the ball. We can't get to her. Don't worry about her. Smoke everybody outside that bitch. I mean, I mean, why not? Why not? Go bigger, go home.

I'm gonna burn my ninth level shape change and go, I'm gonna go Red Dragon. Okay. And that's all I can do, right? Yep, that is your action. At the end form, I'm a dragon on the ceiling. I'm a dragon on the ceiling. You can still move if you want to,

but you are a dragon on the ceiling. Cool. Do you have a giant crate of the things she can turn into? Yep. He does. He had to pack a lot of stuff because of me, I feel mildly guilty. That's fine. What are you doing, guilt?

Can I move, goof, goof, goof, giant dragon walking on the ceiling, and then look down at Delilah kind of backwards and upside down and say, hello. Okay. You get two tax opportunity from the two skeletons. That's fine. Fine. Uh, say 18 and 21. Uh, no, yes. All right, you take 11 points of slashing damage.

Cool. Dragon form. However, I think do you have bludgeoning or damage resistance in your dragon form? I don't know if you do. Yeah, I do. All right, so you move over and you look down, it's an orb. It's not a slither, so you just see the giant red dome. You can't see her. You can't see her, because it's a dome.

I can't see her. No. So you get up and you glance down, for the purposes of this, you are currently right there, and it's just a big red dome. So, Levin that take half damage? Levin? I'm trying to see where you're at.

That's fine. It's just, reverse gravity makes this battlefield so easy to keep track of. Sorry, man. Sign. Fire. Stupid spell. All right, Kiel, is that your go?

There's action to cast it in your move. You don't have. I have frightful presence for anyone who might be terrified of me. Nobody sees you right now through the sphere. Cool. Man. All right, that ends your turn. Yep.

Oh, boy. All right. So Delilah, within the sphere, the cultist next to her end up throwing the last object up and it kind of, well, no, sorry, they haven't been throwing it in there, I have not been throwing it in there because when the sphere turned, they've been kind of holding in there, waiting for a moment.

Delilah kind of glances out and sees the dragon up there. She gets to make her save against your frightful presence. That is a 21 Wisdom. What is that against? The DC of whatever your fightful presence is. Oh, 19 versus Wisdom save. Yeah, wisdom saves, yeah. She makes it.

Bitch. out, seeing everyone falling apart out there, looks back, pulls back in and looks at Scanlan and goes, there's more important things to do. She grabs her amulet that she has around her neck, and as she holds it again, you watch as the white orb that was glowing, turns to black. Once again, into the black orb.

In that instant, Grog, you revert back to your regular size. Right. Is my magic? Oh, no! God damn. You return to your form. What a fucking bitch.

Percy, you fall off the side of the wall and land on your feet barely. The skeletons just collapse into piles of bones. Terry, you fall. Bitch. Cicose. And land on the ground there. This No, magic works.

Prismatic wall vanishes. God damn. She's going to be able. Does feeble mind end? I know. Does feeble mind? Not within the range? Currently right now is unaffecting you. No!

Wait, is not affecting you? Meaning feeble mind, whatever the spell is right now, it doesn't seem to be having an effect. So all of a sudden, your consciousness comes back to you. Oh, mm-hmm. Oh, fucking hell. She, clutching the amulet, gives a nod to the two other cultists, and all three of them step into the black orb. Step into the black orb. You watch their forms and vanish.

They desaparated. They step into the circle? Yep. The little sphere. The little spirit. The orb, they went in the orb. Yeah. They're moving freely and it looks like pretty familiarly through the sphere.

Through the sphere. They went on the top. They went to the same. They're gone forever. They're gone forever. Nope. And they've done it before. That's how they got over here.

Scanlon, I want you to roll a perception check. Unless when you die. Not great. Five. Okay. Never mind. Never mind. Never mind.

Yeah. What, never mind? Wait, wait. If she wins, it's a tiny thing. Yep. I still have shape change for another hour. No, it's gone, you're done. Magic's dead.

Wait, did she cancel my spell then? Or is it just an orb that's done? You sense the concentration is still there, but the spell has no effect where you currently are. Because she put the black. By the way, Lionel and Grog, you both slamming into the ground. Thanks, Darren. Nope. Nope.

You guys. Did I try to catch him with my wings? My wings? You suffer 15 points of bludgeoning damage. Got a dragon. So reduced to half of both you because you're raging. That's seven bludging damage each. And are the wings warped back in?

Yes, your wings sh- Mine says while raging, resist bludgeoning. That's what I'm saying, so you're taking half damage from this. So you take seven as opposed to 15. Okay, okay. Am I still there? You're still there right next to the orb, yeah. I am going to one load a couple shots,

a shot into the orb and see what happens. Okay, go ahead and make a shot. Anamis freezes up. I throw it. Pull bad news. Bad news freezes up. I pull retort. That hits.

Technically, technically, fire, discard, quick draw, right? Yeah. Which is that a, true draw means you can do it for the free action as part of an action? Oh, please, not that music. That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter?

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Subscribe now to ticklish business on your favorite podcast app, and let's talk about Old Hollywood today. I'll burn an action shirt search for this. Okay. So I'll say that because you only use a bonus action to... We want to reload. As a quick draw, you can just pull it as intact. So you're fine. You do three attacks. The third one fires. You fire and it vanishes into the orb. Is there are there any enemies left on the map? Currently, there's the one right there who is being held by the brambles. The brambles have vanished.

And he's currently still conscious. And it's not his turn yet. So Percy took all the shots. Percy took all the shots into the orb. It is now Scamlin's turn. I will draw my blade and scream and just hit that thing with my sword. No. The guy, the guy, not the orb.

Okay, so you rush towards the guy as the brambles wither away and fall to the ground. He turns around to rush towards the orb just as you rush towards him. Your bardic battle cry just with Myth Carver. So go ahead and make your attack. Here's John's dice. 11 plus I think it's 10. Somewhere.

That'll hit. Armor class isn't very high. It's just a major armor of 15. Yay. It's just a sword. It's not even magical now. I can't find anything. I think it's 1D8 plus 2.

It's 1D8 plus your strength. Plus 3. 1D8 plus 3. Right? Well, it doesn't have a magical bonus right now. Oh. So just 1D8 plus your strength modifier. What's your strength modifier?

I can't even find it. I think it's strength right there. One, but this is an old sheet. So 1D8 plus 1. Your strength hasn't gone up. Okay, thank you. Okay, great. Where's 8? 1d8 plus 1. 7.

7. Plus 1, so 8. 8 damage. Yeah. How do you want to do this, Scanlon? Oh. The most left plus last. How do you want to do this?

I had like three hit points left. How do you want to do this? I'll just stab him in his toes over and over. over and over, and I'll say, this is what you get for separating me from my friends who I want to be around forever, because I love them. Is this what we're supposed to do now? I mean, is this a thing?

No question, just stay with the commandment. Okay, yeah, my friends. As you repeatedly stab it in the feet, it's like, ow, ow, ow, ow, and it's like trying to pull away from you down the side of the pyramid Ziggurat. What are you doing? As you just keep stabbing it over and over again in the feet until like, uh-uh, falls unconscious.

Bleeding out through his ankles. Bleeding out through his ankles. How very scamming? Through his ankles. She's the stupidest dancing to the right. So dumb. All right, we're going in the little smear. Here we go.

No. Well. So what? What? No. No. So it's only a dark, magical, anti-magical field because she wanted to be?

She manipulated it. She turned it into that. Which means that. She succeeded on the field. the previous one this is a pathway into some other world now she can change it well she did something it was black before then she turned it white and now I don't know if that allowed magic but it's when she turned it black again all magic stuff so which is like the one that we've been around before I mean she knows what she's doing

but I don't think she left the controls behind she can't do anything in here yeah well we're gonna take we're gonna drag this cadaver outside of Let's take the decadivist. She was busted. I was worried. She is just very strong magic, which makes her change what it is? She knows how it works. She knows how it works.

She knows how she's here, but she's figured shit out the lost side. We fucking killed her. Does anybody, how did we kill her before? How did she die? You killed her in the hallway as she was trying to escape back to Castle White Stone when you were fighting Orthax. Like she fully fucking died. Yeah, you killed her and threw her body in the acid pit. Holy shit.

Yeah, this is... Not a lot of remains to be, you know. Right. Resurrection. All of their magic was necromanic and cultic. What if it's not, I mean... Yeah, but what if it's just her soul or something? What if it's not really her?

Well, listen, we're not going in the old, right? No. Yeah, so let's drag one of these smart-looking folks outside and have part and do 20 questions. I'm a little worried that once we walk outside, Pike becomes dumb again. A little bit. Well, she can find out... Great of Restoration, huh? As soon as we walk outside.

I can. Let's take this outside. Just take it outside. All right. Nothing good happens here. Then let's experiment. Wait, wait, wait. Before we go, Pike.

Does Sarat and Ray know anything about this? Anything? Uh, I can check. Sam, I think you're right. You're just going to waste your attempt in here. They get. There might be some ducks. Are you going to try and have a brief

You mean you must Saran Ray in the temple? No, no. I mean, you could try. If you lose your brain, you can't do it, so why not? Sarah. Okay. You drop to your knees for a moment and just concentrate and hoping for her wisdom.

Go ahead and make a general wisdom check. Just roll a D20, add your wisdom modifier. Plus five. Do you, wisdom modifier? Yeah. We'll leave it's plus five. 22? 22.

As you concentrate, you feel the warmth of of Sarenreys embrace to send from the darkness of the inside of your eyelids. You see the angelic form of her flaming aura come down, and her hands touch the sides of your cheek. And she turns your head around towards the orb. And where previously you saw the little black dot, instead you see a large oval doorway. Around it, it is flickering madly, like a hundred spinning razors around the edges.

But just beyond it, you can see what appears to be a desolate gray landscape, what looks to be almost scattering of city buildings across this broken black shadowland. And in the center is singular black obsidian tower that rises up to where you can't quite see the top from your current angle. And she gets down really close to the side of your ear. And you feel like the warmth of her divine breath against your face, as she says, This is the destiny. This needs to stop. Only terror will come through this. Our reach cannot go beyond the divine gate. If I go there, will you not be able to go with me?

I'll be diminished, if at all able to. Then your finger touches your head, and she kisses the top of your forehead, and you feel that kind of warm presence again, and she withdraws. And as she withdraws, the cold is even harder with her absence, because now the proximity of that shadow of this room, Just the general sense of negative energy and death that emanates from this direction behind you. As soon as you watch your light vanish

and you open your eyes again, you're chilled to the bone. Okay, well, it's a doorway. We have to go there. It's the only way to stop this. Stop what? I don't know. Well, we can't go through now.

Is this just like this now? Like the Ziggurat? White stone? I don't know. Can't we? Yeah, we could. Oh, fuck, but we're not even healed. They just went through.

We're gonna go through and just die immediately. No, we can. We have to go at least find out if the spells are still affecting us. We go through and Pike's done. Maybe we should back out. The last time I put my hand in the sphere when it was black and it nearly tore me apart.

We could try again. It was just a doorway? It was a doorway, and it opened into a city of sorts, and in the middle was an obsidian tower. That's what I saw through the other one. Okay. Do I feel anything, sense anything? In what way?

I'm my patron. Do you wish to try and concentrate there? Yeah. Make a wisdom check. D20, add your wisdom modifier. My last like of the day. Same thing. Shit. Seven.

Seven. You kind of concentrate and you get the sense of the proximity of this orb and something about the nature of this whole occurrence is interfering with your connection with your deity temporarily. You try and reach out to her, but nothing's returning your call. Let's step out of the range, see what happens. Can we back out and see how far the range goes? Is it the same distance as our Ziggurat?

So you drag body, you said? Yeah, one of the bodies. Okay. Which one in the dark paladin? Yeah, that asshole. The one, okay, well, yeah. Okay. So you take the dark, the black guard, drag it behind you.

The rest of you all continue down the pathway. You get to about where that T intersection was, and Pike, your brain goes numb once more. Oh, no. Keyleth goes over to Pike and puts her palm on her head and casts greater restoration. Okay. The spell immediately loses its hold, and you regain control of your facilities.

Disaster, a birded keyleth. I'll throw my arms around her and I just kiss her on her forehead and her cheeks. Just full on her lips. Oh, wow. Sorry, I'm just, that was so intense. The amount who saved us, it's nothing. I've learned it from you.

Okay, do we need to talk to this dead person? Yeah. No. No? What? We don't need to talk to the dead person? Sorry, I was answering a different question. Oh.

Continue. Do it. Okay, I'll speak with dead. Okay, can I speak with dead? You watch the plate armor arouse ever so slightly as the fresh corpse begins to clink and tense against the metal plates. And you hear the creaking sound of breath trying

to escape from the reedy thin slit where apparently part of the dagger blow that you had shoved the back of its neck went through and cut part of the vocal cords. Ew, fucking gross. You have its attention. Is this one of the ones where his eye is missing? Or is he one of those guys? As you glance closer to the blackguard,

Because the helmet's the long, you have to pull the helmet off. That's the guy who has the, yeah. Yeah. Let's pull the helmet off. Yeah. Pull the helmet off is missing its eye, yeah. By the way, all this is all happening, I'm dragging Doty out.

Okay. I help. Trinket helps too, because he's stronger. Yeah. What do we, you can tell him. What do we want to know? Five questions. Why and I is missing?

Five questions. Yeah. How they access the gates. How do you access? What is, what is it? Is, no. Well, she's getting up five. Is the great safe.

What would you have? I said, what do you say? I said, like, I want to know why the missing eyes. Let's ask you. Go for it. Okay. We'll work through it. I've got my earring on.

I can hear all. I still want to her mansion. Okay. She grabbed what he didn't know. Is it? safe for any of us to get through the gate. From through the, you can see the lips are kind of curled back against the teeth, and the skin is stretched tight against the skull.

While once living, it definitely had some sort of necrotic twisting to its flesh, whether it be by proximity or practice. But the jaw is kind of open. While the jaw doesn't move, you hear the escape. kind of thin air forming words that say. Oh, the blade. Oh, or the blade, the sphere. The trade thing?

Or be hearty enough to survive its ravishing doorway. Yeah, who do you serve? We are the remnants, small parts of the hole, given purpose to come together and remake the vessel of the vessel of the undying king.

Why do you have one I'm missing? To perqueath ourselves the highest remnant order to the whispered one, just to gift our sight like he did and be granted knowledge he keeps. Suggestion. A suggestion. How did Ripley return?

Not Ripley. Deliver. Did I say? To my father. Was that Deliver? Yes. Yeah, I know. Sure idea.

I have one job. It's stupid. How did Delilah return? It's stupid. How did Delilah return? I know not the means a powerful necromancer. And with the right preparation, even death can be averted. Or do they have plans to come to attack through the orbs?

or how many more orbs are there in the, on this plane? It didn't, he didn't know the answer to the last one really, so he might not know the answer now, but you might know if they plan to come through the orbs. Yeah, are there plans to come through the orbs? Yeah, that's a great point, yeah. Is there anything that the line is afraid of? No, he wouldn't know that.

Uh, what are your, what are your, What are your plans? What are the remnants plans? The whisper becomes a slight chuckle. And his knife, the whisper one will. His alkaliates, the gate, he will. The solitary tyrant, and with the sole crown of creation guarded upon his hat, where his body will be rewarded with the

spell fades. Did he not have one more? No. Five questions. Great. As you sit here in the cavern contemplating what these words mean with the next step of your accelerated involvement in this plot, we're going to end tonight's episode. Oh, my God.

Ran a little over, guys, but a hundredth episode, that's a record. How is it? 1241. Oh my God. I don't know. That's the longest we've ever gone. Holy shit. Don't worry about it.

Those are still here hanging out? Thank you for staying. For those who don't, enjoy your two-parter. Sheesh. Tune in next week for a shopping episode. Yeah. Critical role goes to the beach. Scanlon.

Tarian. Wow. The eight characters on this side of the table? Yeah, seriously. Well, dude, thank you again, John for joining us. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you for being part of our 100th episode. I'm gonna go get my... Thank you Marvel Puzzle Quest.

Thank you, Marvel Puzzle Quest. Thank you, Critters, for being amazing. I'm gonna get my like four hours of sleep before getting on a plane to a convention. Oh no. So I'll see you guys in Texas soon. Real soon. Yeah, but anyway, love you all.

Wonderful night and is it Thursday yet. Good night. Nice. You know, as soon as we started bringing our skill set to the tabletop gaming accessory world, there was immediate demand. The passion's there. The passion for role playing, the passion for gaming, and that dovetails in with our passion for woodworking. I would say being involved with critical role is amazing.

You know, you're reaching passionate people. People who are passionate about that. You know, there's a pretty good chance that they'll have, you know, a passion for what we're doing too. Yeah. I'm proud that we're keeping a tradition of handwork alive and passing it on and expanding it. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think I could have said it better. I mean, that's pretty much it.