Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 17 - Hubris

Episode Date: November 30, 2021

Parting ways with their beloved cleric, Vox Machina is now adrift in a strange and unfamiliar city. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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And after heading into the basement of the Platinum Sanctuary in the city of Vasselheim, they have succeeded to do so. Vasselheim, which is a distant city to the far northwest of the continent they're used to, this city is a very devout, religion-based city, and currently consider the oldest fashion of civilization in the known civilized world.

After taking a skyship across the ocean to get there, sealing the horn, you guys also discover upon doing so that the ruins, long-forgotten ruins of what appears to be an ancient temple to Sarenrae were recently discovered. And while Sarenra does not have a strong following in the city, the few that are trying to raise it ask for Pikes help to stay back and help build it and bring it to its former glory and hopefully re-establish a basis of worship in the city. And she decided to do so to help these folks. The party then steps away from the ruins of the tower. Sad, but understanding of the circumstance.

Perhaps we could just sit on a nearby rooftop and watch Pike work. Just for like the next eight months? I'd be alright with that. Critical role of a sudden becomes the greatest grass-watching game of all time. So, as you all stand there, you have to decide your next course of action. You stand in the muddy road. Standing the muddy road, taking in the cold, dusk air as the sun slowly sets to the west.

Now, this area of the city has a vastly different field than the Platinum sanctuary, in the haste to make it to the ruin. You've passed out of the section that seems to be under Bahamit's watch and into a different area. This area, most of the buildings are reinforced with ruddy iron plates. Plumes of smoke rise up from a handful of heavy smokestacks. And you can see over the rooftops in the distance toward the center of this section, what looks like a massive dark red statue of a muscular bearded man.

The beauty of this game is I have no idea what the shit we're going to do right now. So we're standing outside the place where we just left pike. Yeah, the ruins of the tower. So we're essentially standing in the middle of a town being like, uh, now what? It's desk. So I was looking at that statue then. I want to see if there's an inscription.

You'd like to? Yes, that would be lovely. Alright. While he's doing that, Scanlan is feeling still just terrible. terribly sad about leaving Pike so overcome with emotion that he must step in into the ruins just one last time just to see the place where she's going to be for the next several months, years. All right. And before I do so, I drink one of my potions that I bought from what's his butt. Gilmore?

Gilmore, the glorious Gilmore, yes. I don't know how it works, but I'm going to drink it anyway. Okay, you drink it. Okay, I drink it. I go inside the ruins and just sort of look around and touch some of the walls and look at the stonework and everything. Just I want to see where she's going to be, so I know she's safe. And overcome with a little bit of for-clept, for-cempt emotion.

I shed a single tear. As you quietly take this moment to yourself amongst the ruins, as you could hear the clattering of stonework as the small band of ceremony worshipers are now being helped around by Pike who's kind of gathered them into a plan as to how to remove and restore portions of the building that are currently visible

from the dirt and earth that it's embedded in. Hearing her voice, I go through the hallway, it's a very comforting sense. You feel a rumbling in your stomach? Mm. No. I feel, I feel, I feel, uncomfortable. It must be the emotion.

It's probably the emotion. I find a sort of a side chamber or just a little nook. Just somewhere where I can have some privacy. Okay. You find your way back towards the stairway that leads it. The makeshift wooden plank stairway and there is a small alcove not far from there within the earth wall. That looks to be relatively private. There's little to no light and it does have a view of the current ruin.

ruin. I say a little prayer and I take a big dump on the floor. No, you do not. Well my stomach was rumbling. The temple of ceremony. Why is probably going to be the one to clean that up? I, sometimes it just affects me. I have, I have, I have weak nerves and as I'm squatting, I just sort of hum to myself. No. Are you in physical art? How do I say goodbye to what we almost have?

This is not romantic at all. Welcome back, guys. As you finish your business, I miss you here so much. As you finish your business, you step away from the alcove, back at the stairway. The contents of the potion seem to have you. of the potions seem to have had some effect as the uh the remnants of what you leave behind have a very soft blue glowing hue to them.

Oh, you have magic poop. See somebody who's a diamond. Do we need to collect the dump? Nope, we should leave the dump. Are you going to be able to like see through the dump? He's covering his face. I think we need the blue. I think we need the blue shit.

Can you cast any magic on the poo? Oh, are we there? It's already magical poo. No, we're not there. We're not there. We're not there. We're not there. So he's just shipping.

He's just leaving it. So I leave and rejoin my fellows, wiping the tear from my eye and the poo from my bottom. Well, I love you, Ashley. This is what happens when we don't have any direction. But what's the purpose of the motion to make your poo boy? So I took a potion that will let me see through my poo and be able to check in on Pike from time to time. I ordered a potion from...

Will she realize that you can see you through the poo? I certainly hope not. I certainly hope not. That would be great if she just talked to you through the poo? Why aren't the priests going to shovel that shit up? Exactly! They're going to clean... glowing shit! As long as some of my cellular remains are there, I might be able to see a little bit into the room.

What's cellular? It's poo. Oh, little bits of poo. You mean little flakes of poo. So... For the sake of brevity and story progression here, yes? And to assuade a 30 minute conversation about Scanlan's excrement. After you rejoin the party, the sun is now set.

The cold air is beginning to really sweep in through the streets. The clouds overhead begin to slowly rumble with what you can hear as distant thunder. And you get the feeling due to the moisture in the air, you're not too far away from the rain. Yes! Should we bunk up? for the night before we head out in the morning. I say we head to the ship. Wasn't there a guy with the red beard we're supposed to go?

Oh, why would we just check out the stash. I did want to wander over to the statue while Scanlan was, you know. I feel great right now, by the way. Let's see who the big guy is. Yeah. Finding some relief in the situation. Dropping a meaty chud.

Dammit, Drissman, just one starting to like you, no. Moving on. Let's go take a look at this statue. Show me. Show me. She's a great. Oh, look at the temple.

It's magic poo! Right, so, don't change scatown do that. As you guys make your way through the center of this district. You're like it's dark now. Yeah. You get the sense that this area is definitely most of the people that live in this vicinity, a little more rough than tumble, than the already pretty rough people who live in Vassaheim from what you've encountered. the buildings themselves all, like I said,

we've been reinforced, but they've got these iron plates. And it looks like there is a very, very heavy trade and metal work. And a lot of the construction of anything metallic appears to be coming through or from this portion of the town. As you approach closer to this statue, it's not just a statue you see, it's actually sitting atop. It looks to be a large, locky fortress-like temple. Unlike the Platinum Sanctuary, which is a very beautiful but simple array, this one, it is

a crenellated top to each one of these walled structures. You can see braziers just blasting flame about every 20 or so feet along the top of it. You can see now as you approach the front of this there are two giant stone doorways with steps to lead up to it. And what looks to be two gargantuan war horns that spiral along the sides and then open up outward towards the entire city in front of it. I would ask you guys to make a religion check if you could. Oh, I got this. It's been so long.

Natural 20. Nice. Yay! What? Boom! Good. Do I need to roll? I don't know why.

That's so cool. Natural four. Because we know our shit. So as you guys are going to approach, even in the darkness, you can see the figure that this, this human-like man, barrel-chested. massive muscles.

It looks almost like iron braces around his wrists. He is carved from what looks like solid or sculpted from solid iron or plates that are put together from some sort of iron initial structure. The beard is long and goes to out mid-chest. He carries within one hand this long, thick short sort and most of his furs and leathers about his legs in midsection. You recognize this to be a very hefty depiction

the depiction of the deity cord. Corde? I admire his beard. It is a beard worth admiring. How might one spell a cord? K-O-R-D. Simple. I like that. Oh my gosh.

Just for me like that? He's a god of some sort? Yes, indeed. Tell us of this core. I'll put better description here. Find your notes of this goal. Indeed, I don't believe. It's a little quote.

Horde is a Dwarven god? No, not Dwarbit. No man, human. Human. Oh, man. A human. But cord is essentially a deity of warfare, combat, and storms. A god that has been long worshipped by tribal cultures from long, long past that enjoyed the essence of battle and challenge in combat.

Did you say storms, Tiberius? We've got war and combat and storms is what you say? Storms. Yes. Storms and winds and quickly the motif of this section of the town comes into play. You assume at this point is the portion of the city that is dedicated to the temple of Cord,

this being the structure you see before you. Does it seem to be a central theme across the whole town? Like this town just kind of worships corn or cord? No, you've only really been to two sections. The first one you were brought to was primarily under the warship of Bahamut, the Platon dragon. Yes. Okay. Get the giggled out.

I know. Fair enough. No, it's cool. Did you look at it? Oh, fine chicken. Use your fancy eyes. I can look at it. Well, my question, is this a temple or is this some sort of, if it is a temple to cord, is this then a place of battle?

Is this then a place of battle? Is this somewhere where people go watch? Watch battles and things are like a... From the exterior, and it is closed off, Temple. It looks just like a large, blocky, obstinate fortress that is nearly impenetrable from the way it's constructed and reinforced. You don't know what's inside of it. And there's a big gate or door at the front?

Two large iron doors, about 20 feet tall, that are currently shut. It's about five or six steps getting up to it. It is nighttime. It is nighttime, currently, yes. Are there any citizens right now, or are we alone in the dark? No, I mean, as it's gotten dusk, it's thinned out a little bit, but there are a few individuals walking by, you can see carrying pickaxes over one shoulder and passing by. I like to walk up to the nearest one and just ask, yes.

To who? The nearest person? This is the passerby. You can see the two gentlemen, one's in his mid-20s, the one that turns to you initially. Probably looks like a little older than that, like late 30s, grisled, shamed. but the 5 o'clock shadow's definitely kicked in, longer tussled hair, dirt in the face, simple clothing, pickaxe over his shoulder,

and it looks like a leather belt that carries other tools around. These are dwarves? These are human. Oh, human. Dwarves, that's what we said. Guys, there's calling. Excuse me, good sir, my friend over here, the Dragonborn, he seems to think that this is some sort of temple

or edifice to the god chord. I just want to know, is he correct? Is he correct? time in the Braving Grounds. In Dwarvish, I say. Oh, they're not towards. You can still say it, don't. I asked if they were Duras.

Yes, absolutely. This is our first time. We literally just rolled in to Vasselheim. What can you tell us of this? It's an impressive structure. The younger gentleman next to him similarly addressed. We can speak up and he can put his hand up. He goes, Braving Grounds, is the area of the city

that is built around the warship of the worship of the great God core, his protection and strength he bestows upon those who live for the sake of challenge to prove oneself better with each passing day. That is the basis of the brave of grounds. So it's like a battleground? It's a community that when called to battle can definitely defend itself.

Okay, I'm really excited. What you see before you, you kind of look at the giant structure. Okay. This is called the Trial Forge. This is the oldest known temple to Corden has been built and rebuilt for many, many hundreds of years. Hence Forge, right.

And does one need to be a priest or cleric of this faith to challenge oneself? Or can anyone... Worship. Worship. Anyone's able to worship what deity they wish in this town. Typicali worship. Understanding.

You're looking for a tussure. What you're looking for is the crucible. Crucible. Yes. Can you tell us about this crucible? Crucible is a fighting. I mean, there is a sacred arena within the temple, but that's reserved for very, very special occasions.

If you're looking to just get your fight on and punch someone in the face, crucible is what you're looking for. Spits off to the side and points little ways down the roadway. I think, I think Rob wants to go. Down that way, you'll see a tavern known as the Bellow's Respite. Bellows respite.

One of the finer ends you'll find in the braving grounds proper, but I take it if you walk that direction, you'll see the Crucible for too long. Have you ever seen the crucible? Me? No. Too busy. Too many people better fighters than me in there.

I'll just take to the mines. Are these battles to the death? No. Nah. Oh. These are battles of honor. Death belongs in a true war. Mind you, there have been some folks,

unfortunately, may have fallen to a hit on the head too hard, and that's understandable. But the purpose of Cordelis is not necessarily to smite your foes unless they've given you damn good reason. Other than that, contest of strengths, how we live. Those are friendly sparring matches, we're not. Oh, that's how they live. And that's this neighborhood of Vasselheim,

not the city as a whole, just in these parts? The most part? I mean, we have members of ours, our community. They're in bastions and guard the whole city, as in so own. But we tend to keep to our own. Pardon my friend, he's clumsy, and the other gentleman picks up his tools and he's like, sorry. Have you been to this crucible often,

and if so, is there a champion or a favorite that you've seen or no one? I've seen people come in and out. I'd probably best ask her on the Crucible, to be honest. I've seen some people take some serious beatings down there. I haven't kept much attention to it. I haven't the money to sling around it. The money? The money.

Wait, it costs money. You think there's going to be fights in a pit and no one's betting on it? Welcome to Vasselheim, my dear. We're going to be rich. We've got the edge like I have. We're going to be rich. What if there are two people fighting the town does not know?

Take it up with the crucible. All right. How far is it crucible from here? Keep walking. You'll see you. You keep walking? Let's go for a wall. Let's keep walking.

Thank you, Greg. My pleasure. Court strength to you, and it keeps on walking. Cord strength to you. I'd like where we are. Oh, course. Oh, I see. Do Pilates. Cushets.

Cunches. Core strength to you. Not mistake. You guys walk beyond the, uh, the trial forge back towards the pathway you came, kind of off the side of the left, and you can see the, most of the buildings, their internal lighting is very low. You can see most folks either go to bed at this evening,

or at least they keep a very low visual profile from their abodes. However, the lights are blazing from the interior of this three-story inn. The Bellow's Respit is definitely a rowdy place, and you can hear already the shouts and music screaming from the interior of it. You gather that while there are a lot of people inside, you can see at the windows and openings to the inside of the tavern,

there is a large group gathered out in the middle of the thoroughfare just outside of it. Looks like a circle of individuals that are all shouting and screaming over each other, yeah, yeah! Big fist pumps to the air, some folks are angrily throwing, you know, they're coin purses to the ground. So it's like the Lenderna? Like a king getting too close to an amusement park,

I take off running. Grog starts running up, bounding up the way. You can see the actual. Grog, not too far ahead. OK. I don't start running, but I'm following behind him. And I take out my keen dagger. I'm just sort of dancing it across my hand

as I follow after. Cajy. Good. Good. Good boy. I'm not. Is there looking for a registry or something like that? Actually, as you approach, you can see,

there is no register. there is quite literally a pit in the ground. It's a 15, 20 foot dip that is a carved out pit, maybe no more than, I'd say, 25, 30 feet across-ish. And there is no ladder, there is no step going down, there's just two people in there beating the ever-living crap out of each other and a crowd of people gathered around. You do see what looks to be two very well-dressed gentlemen in the process of collecting. and paying out. And you approach just as the final hit takes to this gentleman's jaw, this tattooed individual. You can see bloody in the face, nose broken, teeth knocked

out. This poor, poor human fellow just gets knocked clean onto the ground. You can see standing over his body, this extremely built, aggressive, looks like another human female with her hair pulled back in a very tight ponytail, just spits in his body, turns around and wipes the blood from the front of her face, snaps her fingers, and you can see folks bring a ladder and lean it over the side, and she climbs up the ladder as everyone cheers on her way up. Before we get up to the crowd.

You missed her, you missed the, this. Oh, sorry. Before we get up to the crowd, I, um, transform into Minksy. I'm going Minksey, and I pace catch up to Grog. Okay. They don't like magic. Going Minksy.

Oh, they don't like magic. Do they see me? No, I'm trying to do it stealthily before it happens. You make self-check if you like. You do know through the discussions that it's arcane magic that seems to be the shunned element of this town. As it is, as it is a town of worship,

divine magic for the most part seems okay, as long as it's like you. Everyone saw me. It's fine. It's fine. Everyone would have seen you if they weren't currently enraptured by the chaos. I'm trying to do it before we get up for the crowd.

In the night. The most of the giant tiger now walks up in the dead. Can I grant the nearest person near me, turn whoever's shoulder that is and go, Who is? As you pull the shoulder around, you can see a rather portly human fellow, balding on top with long kind of Benjamin Franklin-looking hair.

Very nice robes, turns with his visual hands. Are you new to this town, where is it? Yeah, very new. Oh, that's the siren. The siren? The siren. The siren? The siren.

I approached and kind of snobbed her next to grog. All right. No same. The siren. She's the one you bet on. Trust me on that. As he walks over to, you can see another one of these gentlemen. Very, very well-dressed, hair-slicked back.

Tall, thin, human, and very, very fine purple robes. It collects some people's money. Beans giving out a few things. It pulls out a notebook with a small charter that he's in the middle putting notes in. Hello. How would we enter a new fighter into this pit? Well, actually, that was the last fight

I was scheduled for the evening. It'd be a pity not to have one more. You wish the fight. Wish? It's more like an inch. A need. He puts his arm out and the crowd kind of steps back a bit and he takes a good, long head to toe, up and down,

look at you, kind of walks around from side to side inspecting you. He gets a little bit close and kind of reaches out without even asking and starts grabbing the side of your arms. What the fuck is. I kind of start Start growling a little bit, huh? Oh, yeah, watch out. Okay, go exciting now, please.

Steps back. Well, it's not too late. What caliber of fighter do you consider yourself? Calibur? Calibur? Who do you want to fight? Who do I want to fight? Who are the options?

Could he fight anyone? This is my friend Skadlin. I'm more of his manager than his friend, actually. Hi. Scanlan. Pleasure's all mine. My brute over here. Who can he battle? What are his options?

Yes. This late in the evening, I'll fight him. Excuse me? I said I'll fight him. I apologize. If you're going to have someone into the arena worth betting on, they have to go up against one of our proven fighters first.

However, once your friend here gets his face beaten, You're more than welcome to join him in the ring thereafter. I have laughed so hard in my entire life. Face beating, he says, face beating. You're mighty confident, aren't you? It's my middle, I only have one name. I did. It would be that.

Yeah. Well, first and foremost, all bets begin to 100 gold pieces. 100 gold is that all? You can increase the bet if you like. I'd love to. What would you like to bet? 500 gold on this one right here.

She's the only one betting. She bets for all of us. I'll put a thousand down right now that I can be the big guy. You mean, you mean gone? Of my own money. Yes. You can't fight him yet? I can't.

It's not. It's meant to be bent and stretched. Am I right? I'm going to put your own money down between your friends to fight your friends. It's a contentious relationship. I'm not going to pay off if you win. His eyes have already wandered from your face. It says, 500 gold on the Goliath.

Do we hear anything else? I've got 100 gold on me. Your individuals kind of step up and start telling my... 50 gold down. This is a 100 gold minimum. 100 gold. Bullshit. Who is he fighting?

We don't know yet. We want everybody to bet. We have to bet before we see the... Yeah, of course. The, the... Oh, yeah, we're doing in the blind, I guess. Unproven fighters with a grandiose sense

of self-ability. I'm going to remember you said that. Enjoyed surprise. So, what sort of odds are we talking about then? For this one, based on your height, reach strength and arrogance. I'd put you at

four to one against. Four to one. Okay. It's okay, Brog. He doesn't know that you've beaten up a lot of people. Don't tell him. Shh. Oh, right.

I've got this skull right here. How's he like a guy? Probably, it's a fair odds. We can take that. All right, 500 gold. Is this all I'm hearing? 100, 100 of my own gold on me. 600 gold?

Um, hold on. I'll bet 50 gold against him. We have to hedge. We have to hedge. 100 gold is the minimum. Well, then I can't afford it, I'm sorry. Are we having to go in on me? We've got 90 gold.

You know that means. You're going to get it, bro. You're going to do it. I have faith in you. I'll put 500 gold on the Goliath. Oh my God. We're going to lose a lot money on Grette. No, we're not.

We're going to win a lot of money on you. Last bets. Everyone starts putting in their cash. Goal folks frenzy over. You can see a couple of guys. I put a thousand on the Goliath. What? 1,000 gold on the Goliath.

You better single fucking. between your parts. It's like 1,000 silver. It's magic. Do you use arcane magic? Do you use divine magic? Just sing a song, Scandandon. Yes, yes, you're right.

It seems. So quiet, Scanner. Your friends are confident in your ability. Let's hope they can put their money. Your mouth is... In my mouth? It's an expression. No word.

All right, and he leans back to his other conditions. I kind of brush against grog. It's a man. And I can. has stone skin on him? Oh, that show? But does that show? No.

Or does it just like a thing? You cannot cast a spell when you're in beastball. That's right. I could do that in half of you. Kitty, you did that once. It didn't work out so well. But as I noticed with the cats, I'm standing right next to him, so I do it with my hand instead.

Can you see it? No, no. No, you're on your own. You got caught with your hand on the cookie. All right, we're doing it. As you begin casting the spell, immediately I just, hmm? You do that one more time and you're all disqualified from ever, tells you.

Oh. Okay. That's right. Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. I would just want to give my friend an advantage. You'll be fine. Here.

Look at him. He'll be fine. Yes. I have two eyes. At which point, the other individual kind of whispers into the initial, Buky's ear. Yes. Retrieve him, please.

Oh no. But this fight, we have a newcomer, a newcomer who is named. Sure I have a fancy name. Yeah, you should have a fancy fighting name. Drong the Destroyer. Philip. That's like opposite of what I said.

Philip, the newcomer. I like it. His dignity. And decided to hedge his and his friend's savings that he, upon what I can only imagine is his First arrival into Vasselheim get his face pummeled by our current standing champion. Oh shit. Kern the hammer.

Kern the hammer. At which point the crowd immediately goes quiet and whispering, and a couple of those... At which point you can see a few individuals now walking over ushering this man who looks like he just stepped out of the nearby minds. He's got cold dirt in his face. And I say, man, it is a six-foot-six, very visible. half-orc, gentleman, built like some sort of thick-ass building you've walked past coming through here. Bald head, big bristly mustache and a face that's obviously making a beating over the years. He walks up nonchalantly, just wearing a simple kind of tattered tunic, leather pants and

boots. See him like cracking his fingers. He looks over to the same one of the guys. Now you better to pull me out of work for a good reason. Who am I up against? I envy your facial hair. I envy your currently unbroken face, currently. I'm gonna kill him. That's not, that's a rule, right? I'm not supposed to kill him. All right. All right.

Kill him. No killing, allowed. The bookie steps forward. No killing, fighting till one falls. Don't fall down. What happens if they start to cry? Then you keep punching. I like it.

No weapons, no armor. Fists against fists, till one of them falls. Lower the ladder. Oh, God. As they put the ladder down into the arena, you can see the, it's a good thing. The Orgeman pulls out. I feel like we need a jaunty tune for this battle. Your gentleman pulls out a small tape, a small enclosed kind of a, almost like a wine skin, like a ticket. like an iron wine skin unscrew it and kind of just drinks it all down. Who does? Fur in the shit head, does?

Yeah. Just puts it down and throws it at the ground, kind of with like, ting, ting, ting, ting. Isn't that thing. Right? Wait, what was in that? What was in that? What was in that? Is that wine? Wasn't that? What was the customary of drink for a fight?

Oh, it is? Can I have my catch-cabay or real face? I think you can sing him in dothies on the ladder. Wait, do we have, does anybody have, like, a potion of stone skin, or anything like good? Not now. Everyone gathers around. You can now see people coming back out of the tavern to gather around the outskirts of the crucible.

Grog gets lowered down the ladder. Oh, he's already down? Oh, God. Or Grog is you, what else you wanted to do before you prepare? I thought we would get to like- Oh yeah, if you haven't gone down yet. The other guy has come down the ladder. Have you gone down yet?

Anything else you wanted to do before you? Well, I took a drink from the- Wait, I'd like chug of the cask of. Wait, I come over to Grog and I just, I look in his eyes and I say, Listen, you've got this. I can't give you anything else, but you've got this man. And I also very quickly take out my potion of fire giant strength, and I just sort of slip it to him before he takes a drink of his ale. I don't know if I hand it to you.

You'll make a stealth check. Okay. It falls and breaks up a ground. Oh, that's a six. So eight. All right. Oh. As you walk towards him and begin looking in his eyes, as you begin to pull out the flask, a hand grasps your wrist, and you glance over, and you can see one of the burly human gentleman

that escorted Kern the Hammer in is currently grasping your arm and says, It's... One more trot, I'm throwing you in there. We'll go down ourselves. It's for my asthma. I promise. Shubs you back away, still clutching.

Looks to you, Grog, up in your eyes. You're gonna climb down a fight, going to be a pussy about it. That's a really good question. I would like to rage and I jump in the fucking pit. Leap over the side, completely avoiding the ladder. Both feet hitting the ground with a heavy thud sound. The actual, the pack of dust kicks up around your feet.

Come on, Philip, kick his ass. Go, Philip! At which point, the other orcs finished crafting his knuckles, kind of wipes the spittles in the edge of his chin, gives you a look, and you'd see a bit of foam tossed from the side of his mouth. Nobody fucks with Phil. I can smell you from here, Curn. Go ahead and roll initiative.

Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. That was good. 20. All right. Oh, shit, guys, honey. Awesome. All right. You probably would have to land it there from the run. First round starts.

You're up. I would like to cast intimidating presents on Fern the Fucknuff. Kurt. All right, Kern. Kern. But it's better if Grah gets it wrong. He never gets it right. Philip.

Thank you. Philip. The fantasy fun-to-dose. Philip. All right, so use your action to use that it was intimidating presence? Yeah. All right. So what's the DC on that?

13. 13. 13. The doctor is in. Ah. That will unfortunately not As you glare at him, with that angry Philip glare, your bellow echoing through the bottom of this crucible,

which in itself forms like a very interesting acoustic amplifying of your yell. You can see that currently the other side is looking at you with the same intense burning rage. Wait, that's your whole move? And you can move if you like. I'll let them come to me. Okay.

Oh, God. All right, so as you sit there waiting with your fist, your side. Kern takes his turn. You can see begins to circle a little bit around you, as begins to spiral about with an unnerving speed, dashes forward, fists come swinging. One, two, both strikes coming towards you. That is a... Fists? A 19? This is. Yeah, these are all just like fisticuffs. And that is a 24. That is. And it's a bonus action using his rage, a third attack.

Oh. That is a 21. That doesn't land. Alrighty. Would you like to use my spiky dye? No, he's got. You got this, Philip. The first one does eight points of damage. The second one does seven points of damage.

As one fist clips you across the chin, the other one goes, boom right into your abdominals. You're still tensing and you feel the impact, but you just take the sheer weight of the force and just flex and angrily stare him down and return. Philip, do that thing where you move your pecks up and down. Give him the magic mic. That's gonna be a gift. And as you now see Kern repairs for a second bout, it's your turn.

Grog, what are you doing? I would like to go into a frenzy rage. All right. And I would like to start with a giant front kick forward and then hammer them down. All right, go for the first strike. Oh, no. That misses, that's a two.

That's probably gonna miss. Yeah. Suck, probably. That's good. That's 19. That one's better. That's not it. And that's also 19.

Both hits, yep. So you go to kick with the front kick, he dodges to the side. However, you're still using your giant haymaker, the inertia, clips them across the face, go and roll damage. That is a 16. You're not fighting with your axe, this is with your fist. So rolling 1D4 and then half that. Half that?

Yeah. You only get half damage of a D4? Yes. But you still add your strength from bottom line. These guys both potentially have like 100 hit points. This is giving me a long ball. Give me a long ball for yows six. So it's four, and then half of that is two.

Plus my modifier is four to six. Correct. So six damage, all right. And then four. All right. This is what I use for my fists. I got big ass fists. I got tattoos and shit on them. I never shower. They fucking stink.

You could do more damage if you just hit him with the die because it's sharp, so you'd actually get more of the damage with the D4. All right. So if your modifier is plus. Yeah, but was it more clear the modifier? The modifier is plus four. Okay, and what did you roll on that?

Two, minus two. It's been five total. Five, right, half. There you go. All right, half. All right, cool. So you hit him across the face, and you hit him on the side feather, the other side. He comes back, kind of aligns his chin, and you see he's now stooping in for some sort of an uppercut as he kind of slips to the side a little bit with the side step.

That would be a 25. Oh, damn it. A 20. and a one. What's your AC? 20. All right, so both the first two hit. As he comes low for a full on upper cut,

hitting you for, that'll be six points of damage. Whack, under the chin as you're currently reeling from the impact. He scratches down and he's going to go for a knee to the middle of your groin. That is another six points of damage. Whack! Right in the fill of junk. You instinctively give out a- From the impact.

Little Phil. After that point, he comes up, but it looks like he tries to go for some sort of a pile-drival, pile-drable, and you instinctively kick off of him and his third attack is completely wasted. It's now your go. No one fucks with Philip Jr.

I would like to bull-rush and try and tackle him. And then if it succeeds, I'd like to headbut him on the ground. Okay, okay, it's an action to do that. So then you can use your bonus action to attempt. And I would only get two attacks, right? Because I'm pretty good. You only get one attack for this, exactly.

It's an action to grapple. Okay. Do it. Do it. So go ahead and roll athletics check. Oh, that's better, 22. 22? Yeah, you slam into him,

knock him to the ground and you're now on top of him. He's currently considered grappled, and you can go ahead and attempt your headbutt. Say hi, peace! Yes! That's really, that's a lot. 24. 24, yeah, definitely.

So go ahead and roll damage on this same 1d4. One d4, it's my head! Yeah? Yeah, your head. Your head is so puny. It's the tattoos on it. You took down a giant with that head. One and a half.

Oh, one and a half plus my strength, right? So if it's three or four, it's considered two. Right. Okay, so six? Six. All right. So as you tackle him to the ground, he's like, he's trying to pull you off. You reach up,

wham, just slam your forehead directly into the center of his face. And as you pull back, you can already see the blood streak off the front of your head as his nose smushed even further into his kind of gnarled facade. As you pull back, instead of a pain, he's laughing. As it comes to his turn, he's not attempting to break grapple. He's going to reach up and grab you and attempt to headbut you in return.

I like it. I like it. That's going to be a 21. Oh my gosh, he keeps hitting you. A 23. Yep. And a 19th. Oh, dear. All right, that's six, seven damage.

So a total of 13 damage. Okay. As he reaches up and slams you, slams you again. And as you start backing up, he goes to slam you a third time, and you catch his head in the middle of your mitt. And he's now face-to-face to you just, like, ah, you guys are both snarling at each other, like two rabid beasts. It's your go.

I would like to keep his head right where I have it and take my elbow and drive it down into the bridge of his nose. Okay. Oh, yeah. This is like D&D. This is 25. 25 hits. 22.

Hits. And 17. 17 does miss. Okay. All right. So go ahead and roll damage for the next two strikes. This thing again. Yep.

Two, six. Six already. It's already good above a six. Six, nice. So as you hold him down with his face, wham! Head goes, cracks against the ground of the crucible. He starts picking his head up again.

You just reel back again, wham! Hit him a second time. This time you can see now what... His nose was already busted before, and now it's nearly concave. Oh, Jesus, Louise. It's like he didn't have a nose before, and there's just a bloody void where it once was.

I was laughing now, bitch. He's still smiling, and a weird, twisted way. Six. This is to be enjoying this almost as much as you do. You go down for the third one, and this time he reaches up and grabs your elbow. He's going to take his turn to which him to break grapple as his action. Go ahead and roll either in athletics or an acrobatics check.

12. 12? All right. He kicks you up back onto your feet. And as he does, he kick-ups onto his feet as well. Looks you with a smile. It kind of wipes the snot and blood from the front of his face. licks it off his hand.

With that same hand, he rears back, almost like he's winding up for a punch, and then just kicks you right in the center of your stomach. Damn it. I like to fake. I like to fake. It's 22. Yeah, that'll hit. Jesus.

That is, ooh. Eight points of damage. Whoa. It's fucking strong. You suck, corn! Yeah, is you something. That ends his turn now. You're up, Grog.

You're both now standing face to face again. You're reeling from the kick to the breadbasket. You hit me with the knuckle you fucking lit. So I'd like to jump forward and throw my knee forward and the last minute, pull it back and throw my fist. Power five, go ahead and roll. Yes, fuck you. 19.

19 just barely hits. And I'll follow it over with a left drive, boom, boom. Go for it. Are you still raging? 21. Yeah, oh, yeah. Frenzy. So I get three.

And 22. All hit. Standing. Watch me roll. Should we do something? Have a nail. Oh. And collect the money.

You're like we should do something. 16, total. Nice. He's got this. Wham, whack. Well, if you just jump, hit him in the face as he kind of stumbles backward, you use the inertia to slam him again with the same fist in the face,

and then turn around with a full-on haymaker to the side of the temple. Wack! As you can see, there's a spray of blood and spittle across the... You guys are starting to push towards the back wall of the crucible. of the crucible, and he actually staggers back a little bit towards the wall from the impact. And he charges towards you putting his head right towards the stomach that he kicked before, kind of going for that same spot, he's opening for himself. That's going to be a 20. Yeah. It hits. 21. And 21.

Fuck. Comes in, slams you, slams you into the... to the middle of your abdomen for seven damage. Should I sing? Should I sing? Just do it. Eight damage. And then an additional seven.

So it would be 15, 22 points of damage. As he slams his head into your midsection, picks you up over his head, slams you onto the ground, and as you're on the ground, he just runs up and soccer ball kicks you in the side of your ribs. Just whack! You hear a crack as the impact. and you can feel that surging, shooting, burning pain begin to feel the side of your torso.

It's your go. I do. From the stands. You throw some dirt in his face. From the stands, I turn to a portly gentleman next to me, and I say, sir, do you see what that fucking little elf said about your mother? He called her a name I can't even repeat. I'm so sorry. I'm not hearing any of this.

Go ahead and make a deception. Is he waiting at you? Yes. But I do about that yet. He kind of looks down at you and looks over with the elephants. Well, deal with him after the fire. You got too much money on this right now. What an asshole.

I roll up off of my side and I just want to go, oh, I don't know. It might be too much. I grab a handful of dirt and I throw it up into his face. Oh, alright. Rickie O style. I like it. All right. So as you go ahead and go ahead and just roll a basic attack. Fucking, thank you God. Uh, 26. 26. Make it back. Stairples. See if he pulls in. Uh, no, that won't work. So you slow the dirt up as he's kind of looking, rushing towards you to fall up in the attack. The dirt goes streaming into his eyes, and for a second he kind of stumbles and kind of starts trying to wipe his face. As he does, he has the blood on his hands or also getting in his eyes.

his blood started to kick up a little bit, and he started just kind of reaching out in the area. So that's your first attack. Just because, you know, I feel like we have a kinship, I take my fuck and I throw it right up into his grundle, just soccer kick the shit out of his nuts. Go ahead and roll an attack. You have advantage on this currently, so you can't see you coming.

That's it even matter. 25. 25, go ahead and roll damage. 10 and oh no I only have two right I only have two yeah ten all right so so it's not 10 baby that was yes it was 11 the first one was five halfed yeah six that's 11 11 baby if you're gonna do gruntle damage so as as he's really and tries to reach out swiping a back fist into open air you rush up and

just whack, hit him with sheer force that you hear a unanimous, oh, and the crowd all around echoed down. His knees immediately kind of bend in towards each other, and you could see the sound escape instinctively from his, as you reel for your second strike, which is going to be, what's the second one you do? Or is he just, did he drop to his knees?

No, he's still standing, but barely. Oh, really? Yeah, the same place. You pull back, and whack a second time. in the same spot, this sending him onto the ground from behind. He is currently prone. Okay, that's rough. I'm literally trying to see him cough, a testicle.

Well, regardless of what happens, it's going to be a search. We're going to need a scouting party to find where one of them went. So, Tomp's church gets up and wipes the dirt and crust from his eyes, reeling from the impact. uses half movement to get up

and staggers towards you as you're just kind of well-pulcum in it looks up at you for a second and says you shouldn't have done that tall guy at which point he goes and just lunges for your midsection a second time misses with that strike as you dodge out of the way he spins around and tends to back kick you to the torso

that will hit of a 26 donkey piece of shit. And that one is going to do. I have to go with Poppoor. That's going to be six points of damage to you. Okay. The back kick.

And as his foot comes down, he's still kind of, you know, reaching for his groin from the sheer pain. He just rushes forward and attempts to bite into your shoulder. That's going to be a 20. He rolled a 20? No, not a natural 20. Just a total of 20. That's wrong about 20.

That's going to be seven damage as he sinks his teeth into the side of your shoulder and neck area. Are you doing Phil? And tears a chunk of your flesh out about the size of his mouth now in the muscle. So he's, you're like, oh, you go back in pain and you're both kind of clutching this kind of gladiatorial grip. It's your go. Oh, amazing. Since we're clutching that grip, I'll grab him back and I'm going to try and bite his nose off. Wait, doesn't he have no nose?

You have to dig in there. Oh, he's missing a hollow, right? It's like mashed in. You'd have to really get, and like, you're going to have to, like, chicken, you and pot and pie that. I'll just aim for this area, and if I catch lip, I'll take it as a victory. Okay. Yeah. Go ahead.

So gross. Yes. Fuck. Thank you a lot. I'm driving. Okay. That hits. Yes.

Are we part of the audience? 20. Up. And 24. Yes. Oh! Come on, Phil! So as you reach forward, you use the yellow pain to turn it and to attack reach four.

reach forward and bite into the front of his face you don't get any nose but you do catch the top of his lip as you pull back Oh oh oh Just comes off in your mouth How much damage that yeah don't spit it out? Don't spit it out It's a souvenir The first one is six six damage all right what's your follow-up would you say that he reaches back for his face like that and pain? Oh he yeah he rears up with his hand right there and it's like Oh fantastic I'd like to just drive my fist into his throat is his heads arched back.

God! All right, going to roll damage on that. Yes. Five. Five, all right. You know what I love about these fights. This is beautiful. The beauty of the human body.

The blood is wearing down the front of his face and his throat, you click right in the center of his throat. You hear the coughing sound as you, with his other hand, which is then grabs his throat. You can now see his front teeth visible through the lip that's no longer there. And what's your third strike? Would you say that he bends forward then, because he's grabbing his throat like that? He's tough. He's bending forward. but he's not like completely incapacitive.

I would say I go up next to him and invoke a fabled hero that I heard about in the woods named macho man Randy Savage. And I double tap my elbow and drive it down on top of his head. All right, as you go ahead and roll damage on this one. Thank you. Six. Six.

So as you leap up, using the Goliath weight coming down, you double tap the elbow and bring it down on top of his head. He, from the sheer force of it, slams down, face first, into the dirt. Just like that. Under the ground, he's looking kind of rough. I believe that's pronounced Machoman Rand Savage.

There you are. A gracious warrior of the woods. While on the ground, he reaches forward and attempts to sweep your legs out from under you. Go ahead and make, this could be, An acrobatics. No, I mean, I think this a dexterity saving throw. Why not?

10. 10. Pulls your legs out from under you, slam onto your back as he leaps up on top of you immediately. And with both of his fists in the air and slams him down towards your face. That's going to be a... 22. Jeez.

What? 22 to hit. You take six points of damage. Okay. I was like, 22 points of damage. And 22 points of damage. three to hit. It's going to be an additional eight points of damage.

Oh, man. Just like, bosh, wants it down in your face. Really, really good. With a second slam, right down into the front of the face again. You can now, you can taste all the irony blood and liquid kind of pouring through your sinuses down into the back of your throat as you're currently

on the ground with him on top of you. You're both looking pretty rough. Were you at hit point wise, all the way. I say, hmm, tastes like home, and I spit in his face and reach up and thunder clap both of his ears. All right, go ahead and roll for a second. This is the same. 24.

Hits? Nice. 17. 17 does not hit. 22. 22 does hit. So you reach up. Go ahead and roll damage.

Oh, yeah, right. Thunderclapped the side of both his ears. Six. Six points of damage. As he rears back and then instinctively his hands go up and try and grab at your wrists. You pull the wrists back and he's holding you from that point. You attempt to go for another strike.

but he just redirects it with his own arms. You managed to pull out of the grip with a third strike. What are you doing for the one? He pulls away from my wrists. And I'll just give him a little of the same, put my wrist by fist together and just swing straight down into his solar plexus, since he's sitting on top of me. Roll damage.

Five. Five. You hit and hear the wind out of him from the impact. He's trying to get the wind back as he kind of. OK, here. He pushes off of your chest to stand it for a second and gets one big inhale of air, and as he does, he just reaches up his leg and then kind of tries to curb stop kick you right into the stomach while you're still on the ground. That will be a 18.

All right. A 19. And that will be a 24. You, son of a bitch. All right. So he goes to kick you once and you dodge out of the way, kick a second time this time you catch the foot and kind of hold it in place.

He then lifts up with his other foot to a point where now you're kind of holding him in the air as he puts all of his weight in the air. He comes down and slams his elbow right into the center of your chest, kind of in the way you did to his head earlier. That's going to be for a total of eight points of damage. Okay. I take the flagon of ale that I've been drinking all this time.

Eight points? Eight points? I slam it down on the ground and push my sister out of the way and yell at the top of my lungs. Grog! Your father was an undead piece of shit and your cousin's gonna make you his bitch None of popcorn in the world for this. I know.

Oh, he's like... To reach forward with both of my gums and shove him into his fucking eye sockets. Yeah! Okay, go ahead and roll on a tag. Oh my god. Yes! Mm-hmm. Oh no, you distracted him.

12. That's better. 22. Okay, so as you reach up to try and get his eyes, he... He grasps your hands and instead kind of begins pulling back on the wrists. You can feel the tension of the bone beginning to bend from the sheer strength and force of it. As you pull back your arms, you attempt a head bottom again, and he dodges his head out of the way, and he knows he has you in an advantageous position.

What do you want your third attack to be? He's still on top of me, isn't he? Yeah. Where are hit point-wise, by the way? 18. You have 18 hit points, then? He's looking pretty rough, too. Yeah.

So why do you want to third attack me? That's like all I have total. Would you say he's on my chest? He's currently like on your chest and waist area right now, just like, holding you down. I'm gonna try to grapple him, but I'll just, tickle him. If he's on my, if he's on my chest,

I'll use my thighs to shove him up towards the upper part of my body and I'll just drive down my elbow at the same time. Okay, okay. Into that whole bloody target area. Okay, as you shift upward, you bring your elbow forward, go ahead and roll for attack. Who can understand? No, you rolled three.

He rolled three already. That's right. Yeah, the last one. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So six damage? Yeah. Okay, as you position him up, you, whack, the elbow hits,

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Quince.com slash critical role. Back, it's, yeah, he's looking really rough, and one of his eyes is kind of beginning to swell entirely shut, and the other one, just like a rock-like shot. It's, yeah, this is a full-on drag-out fight. I must break you. He angrily looks at you, and he reaches both of his hands up again in a giant hammer fashion.

Roll shitty. That's going to be a 17. Misses. A 20. Mitz. And a 15. What is this? Oh my God.

You bring it down? Wham! As it hits, you manage to take the bunch of it in the shoulder. The second hit comes down and slams you for eight points of damage. Wham! This one actually you could feel the sternum crack. As he brings up his fists for a third time, coming to end this, you use your leverage you have when you push them up

to then actually spring your entire body upward and force it. entire body upward and force him off of you. He manages to get to his feet and you just get up. And you both are just bleeding from all over your faces with giant bruises and you're both here just kind of barely holding each, holding yourselves up. Breathing my body is. Yes.

I want to rush at him. Tickle him. Spin on my knuckles. Swing back and at the last second, take my right foot and drive it right through his kneecap. Oh! Over attack. Oh.

M. You. Yes. 24. Yes. Yes. Yes. 22.

Oh, come on, grog. 19? 19 just barely hit. All right, so as you run forward, bring the leg up. You hit the side of the knee, go out roll damage. Come on, roll good. Five. Okay.

Feel the breaking. Six. All right. Six. All right. And what are the attacks you do? I want to drive my foot through his kneecap, right? That's successful.

He's obviously got to go down. He's still standing on the other leg, but the knee is crack behind. Oh, that's amazing. I'll just put my foot through his other knee. As you jump off the other one, it catches the knee. It doesn't snap, but you can see there's a bend to it,

and then he falls to the ground on both of his busted knees now looking up at you. And with the third strike, what are you going to do? Come on. I'd like to grab his head, since he's probably kneeling on the ground at this point, right? And say, there's only room for one to rage in this pit. And I take it and I just smash into the top of his jaw,

of his jaw, hopefully dislocating the bloody, lipless face. That is it. So disgusting. Okay, so. Wait, wait, is he an orc? Is he a half fork? Does he have those big teeth?

The little tusks there, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'll grab onto those. They're kind of small to pull. Okay, we'll stick with the jaw. You just, you slam down on his face, you'd see the jaw kind of crack open. The tongue kind of instinctly moves around, but the jaw is definitely broken from the impact.

It's like a dance. It's like a beautiful dance. You can see, that blow should have taken him out because there's nothing left. He's like the black knight and Bonnie Python. He's got no knees. The body goes like limped for a brief second. Oh my god, but he's got that.

And you see that half-orke rage kicks in. That half-oak's blood. You can see him now rally up for one final round of vengeance against you, Grog. Reaches up and grabs you by the throat. And it brings you up to slam into his head. This is gonna be a. A 21.

A 17. Miss. And a 22. So grabs you, slams into your head with the first strike. That is going to be six points of damage. Boom! Into the face. You can feel like the shock, the white light in your eyes

as the impact smashes in you. He goes to do it a second time. This time you instantly reach down with your hands and push his face away. You can feel the fading. The fading just from the sheer impact is he pushes you up onto your feet again and you step back and he takes a moment to look at you With this missing lip his bashed in nose the eye swollen shut is both knees kind of messed up And he runs forward and with one heaping haymaker just whack takes you in the face with a cracking sound for six points of damage

Oh no Oh With a resounding quack, Grog's head spins his body. Turning, he stumbles a couple of steps, falls to one knee. Faced down in the dirt, unconscious. Where's his last little juice? The whole crowd raises in cheers. As the mostly broken half fork raises one of its fists to the air,

walks around, looks over to your body, reaches his pocket and flicks a gold coin on your back. Oh, fucking dick. Walks over to the ladder. It begins very painfully making his way up to the edge of the crucible. Yeah, because he's only using his arms, because he's got no knees, douche. Getting up to the top, the crowd cheers.

You can now see one of the bookies reveals a holy symbol, one that you recognize is the symbol of cord and goes down in there immediately begins ministering, healing to our recently unconscious grog. You can see the other bookie, who is dressed similarly in the kind of purplish rubs you saw before, also begins to heal our good fighting half-work friend as he kind of lumps over and takes his sack of coins from him. The clerics of court are the ones actually running this, it looks like.

Bastards. You come to, in the pit, grog, beaten, wearied, and fatiged. because of your frenzied rage. However, you have been defeated in the crucible. That was painful. That was so close. I go down and nurse him, nurse his head, hold him. And I just tell him, Grog, you won.

You did it, buddy. The deception roll. What? 16. I always think even the circumstances, is, it's nice that he's trying. But it's been a while since you've invested in one-on-one combat, and a part of you, a part of you is deeply hurt by it,

but at the same time, there is that burning fire, that need to come back and vengefully tear him down from his precipice when you're ready. Say nothing. It's okay, buddy. This is the first time you've been knocked unconscious. It's too bad pipe. Good pephton.

Good pephton. That would have been great. I go up and rub on him and you, meow. As you're being attended to by your party, the same bookie that Braschuan comes over and claps you on the shoulder and says, Very powerful.

I'm not going to lie. No one has taken the beating from the hammer like that and brought him so close. I don't think he's going to be a bit I don't think he's going to be able to take another round with you for at least a few days. But you're welcome to fight in my ring any time you wish. We need to earn our money back. Oh, there is that, yes.

Oh, you could just give it to us? I'll walk away. Is there a hall house here in, um, you're asking this question? We don't need to make the money. Curiously comes across the book his face and says, Don't put on that red light. The third floor of the bellows,

fuck, they call it again. The bellows respite. The fellow's respite. Sorry, it was in the moment. The third floor of the bellows respite does herself run as a brothwork, that's what you're inquiring. That is what I was inquiring.

Come on, Grog, we'll get you ice cream. We'll get you ice cream, Grog. And a whore, how's that sound? Coldstone. Crog, you can eat the ice cream from the hall? Tiberius, really. I'm trying to be creative here. Make you feel good.

I don't know. Fireworks. Best a dissertation. All right. Frog, as you make your way into the tavern, there is, though in your solemn state, you can see a member of the patrons who are watching from the inside or part of the crowd

all kind of give a round of applause to you as you enter. The bar keep, who turns to you, a human fellow who's missing one eye has a kind of tufted, spotty beard, and happily extends a large tanker avail and says, On the house for you, friend, you fought well tonight. I like your beard. I take five of my remaining gold and slide it over to that bartender and say, just keep it coming. All night, please. We'll deliver her to the room.

By the way, what room are you staying? Oh, do we have a room? We would love one of those. The third floor, I believe. For some of us, not all of us. I don't think he's going to partake tonight. Might have problems. Oh, he's chugging.

The rest of you, how many rooms you've taken? Three amongst you? Three, three. Three rooms for the night. That'll be a stable. for our bear. I'll sleep out. No, no, I'll stay in the room with us girls.

Well, it looked like rain, right? I'll be out there with the pigs. No, wrong. No, it's okay. He needs to stew in this for a little. Your rooms on the house, friend. The rest of you, that'll be six gold for the evening. I'll stay in your room, grog.

I don't think he wants company. No, he can sleep on time with the pigs. I'll stay in the free room. Oh, great. So it's more than that. All right, so Mark. So mark off your losses for the money you put in for the pot. Where do I mark off my loss in pride?

That would be under additional notes. Right there on my face. I almost won. Damn it. Almost. What do he have that orc piece of shit? He had what that made him come back? It's a half-wark racial ability

that the first time they dropped to zero hit points. They can instead choose to be at one hit point. They can only do that once per day. He had one left! You brought him to negative five on that final hit, but that half-wark racial ability. That's even worse!

Grog, if it's any consolation... What's that mean? A grouping of stars in the sky. As I had no idea that weapons weren't allowed in there. If you and I had fight, you would have beaten me into a bloody, bloody, bloody, bloody pace. Well, you weren't serious, were you?

I thought you would be in funny. There's a lot of injured pride tonight. Guys, we've had a really emotional day. Can we just sleep? I've found it to be very entertaining. Hey, does anyone want to come to my room and look through my shit and see how Pike's doing? Oh, yes.

This is looking through, oh shit. Yes. Spike would have been proud of you, Rob. Thank you. And if there had been weapons, I'd be in deep shit. I'm going to go to my room. I'll be at the bar. Okay.

Oh, Rob, come on. That's not even chicken. That's just a piece of wood. And yet it doesn't stop him as he, bite by bite, makes his way through the piece of driftwood. He felled by the bar. I slapped down another five golden barceton and said, Vast for that boss, do a moment.

Thank you. I'm erasing. Put a little salt on it. Which, the bar stools, by the way, have kind of a thick, crusty wool on them. So there's a unique flavor to the piece of your chew through. Throwing on this chicken is exquisite.

As you all take your evening of rest in your respective rooms, Grog, eating and drinking away your worries until eventually you are unable to make a conversation. You sloppily make your way to the third floor to a room in the brothels that has been prepared and waiting for you, paid for by...

Not made. put by the bell as respite, and you find yourself sloppily disappointing a woman until you pass out in your own sorrow. And with that, we're going to take a quick break. We'll be back here. So as morning comes to the rest of you wake up, the first thought, of course, being the heartache

for your friend Grog, who is not any of the rooms. The heartache for our lost money. And the loss, oh yeah, more the money probably for Vex. But as you wake up, Grog is nowhere to be found in your rooms. Of course, he has, he wandered off to, presumably, the third floor. Is that a euphemism? It can be. Oh, third floor.

I'm still in Minksy form. I slept in Minksy form. I'm going to go and just look for him, see if I can find him in any of the rooms on the third floor. Okay. Hey, get out of here. A giant white saber-toothed tiger wandering the interior I'm allergic to cats. Does set off a few minds. I mean, a armored bear being escorted is one thing.

But alone, Sambertooth the tiger, as soon as you make it through the hallway, you can see one of the patrons that's out. And he goes, and pulls his blade out. It's like, help. Help, it's a tiger in the end. Why does this always happen to me? There's a tiger, and you're in the yelling.

I run up. the stairs and say has anyone seen a to oh there you are come on come on come on snibbles come on come on come back downstairs you keep that thing on a Lisa I roll over so I'll kill someone to choose through her rope all the time come on I roll over on my back and I'm like those cats you see on YouTube who hate being on leashes just dragging I said don't want to go yeah like on her tummy goes back in his room closes the door it's pretty strange um um At about this time you hear a...

There's eight of them on the other side. A heavy footfall. Heavy footfall. A second heavy footfall. A third heavy footfall. And from around the corner of the staircase, descending from the third floor, you see a very hungover and expressionless grog squinting and making his way down.

And the guy, have fun last night? Oh, God. You're not going to puke, are you? No, no. You hear mew-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-h. I love it, cute. Do you need some breakfast or ale of... What, fruit?

The food? Mm-hmm. I think I'm good. All right. I think you need an ale. A little hair of the dog. Yeah? Now that sounds like a plan.

All right. You guys head down. The rest of you managed to eventually wake and make your way down to the tavern where Grog is already in the process of consuming his liquid breakfast. Hold on, several. As I, as, have I, I haven't come out of my room right, right? No, I'll tell you want to. So I do, I see Grog going, drinking his thing.

I use my major hand, I whack the ale out of his hand. Oh, wow. Your tanker goes flying out of your hand, tink, tink, on the ground, it spills across the front. I'll make my way down to the thing, and I tell the button, give this warrior water. This might be your problem, Prog. You lost for a reason and you're a warrior.

Yes, but he's named after beer. Don't spit. Wait, I know that. I'm just saying. And you are what you eat. I cast a good ability. Ah. Let's get the various vanishes.

The bar keep hands over a big mug of clear water and sets it in front of a garage. Oh, this is a very special beer. Should take a picture, please. That's the water that was requested by you. Your friend who disappeared. Water. It's like an episode of the 18. It'll get you super, super, super drunk.

Can you feel it? You can feel it, right? You can totally feel it. It's pretty smooth. Yeah. Well, keep the coming. Meals are ordered. You guys are fed as per your purchase of the evenings in stay.

Your meal's still covered by the tavern. Eventually, you find yourselves full, and about, say, roughly 10, 11 in the morning, it would be. I'm no longer minxie to eat breakfast with my friends. Oh, okay. Oh, hi. Hi, good to see you, Caleb. Are you a dwarf again?

No. I should talk to more dwarfs before I try to. Yeah. Hmm. Hey, friendships. There's a little racist. Remind me, what was on our plate? What's on our plate?

Well, we have multiple things we can be doing. We can go meet Gileth's druid family in the mountains, right? Fire, fire, fire, brimstone, stuff like that. We have a lot of money waiting for us. Slightly less. But we have to get back on the air. In Craighammer, yes, but there is 25,000 gold waiting for us, so that's always an option. The braving grounds, we can see if they need any sense we, I lost it.

a lot of money. Go, go, go, go. Have some clear beer. Okay. We can see if they need any work for hire, you know, going out being strong. I feel it very hard to leave Pike behind in the city.

I'm really going to leave and go to Kragammer. Well, we don't have to... I don't want to go yet. We traveled several days here. Well, when you're in the side of the country, I should probably go, you know. know, do the things I was set out to do. Plus, we have the poo cell phone. All right. Good job, Scanlan.

It's more of a poo-talkie. I don't know what either of those things are. Just know that there's poo involved. Does the poop talk like my earring? Because that I understand. It's like a poop earring. It's like a poop earring. Why didn't you say that in the first place?

Not really. You talk through it or, well, no. You talk to poo. You see through it. Hashtag poop earring. So, yeah, there's multiple things. Well, multiple things. There's just go back to Kragahem and get money or go where

Helix wants to go. Hell, we can look for work here. We can go back to Bahamad, see if they want to... He'll just got family. We can visit her family. That's what I'm talking about, yes. All right, I guess we should set out that way. Philip, do you have an opinion?

I mean, I guess if you guys don't have anything else to do, yeah. How far are they from here? I'm not sure. we'd have to start asking around. They're kind of remote. We're kind of, you know, secluded people. Secretie. We're a little secretie.

Yeah, you know, and we haven't heard. I just want to clarify, you know, I haven't talked to them in a long time, so I hope they're nice. Oh. You know, and I'm sure they are, that's, you know. Family stuff can be tricky. It seems a shame to have a family,

not take advantage of it. What's family for other than to take advantage of? To hit, to kiss, to... To kiss? What? You kiss your family? Yeah, I'm a Goliath. What about it? There are things about Goliaths.

Goliaths are very affectionate. Um... That Walda has a good effect on him. You feel drawn to your parents, though. Do you want to go? I have to go. I don't have a choice. And we should go. Okay. I... I...

I just don't want to inconvenience, anybody. Inconvenience, inconvenience. Oh, is that Dwarvish? Yes. It's actually underdog. I'm fluent. Oh, wait, but that was Dwarvish? Inconcemenience.

Yes. Your accent's amazing. I'll have a question. I'm trying to work on learning more dwarish more inconvenient. Okay. I have a question for you, back. The braving grounds that are here,

would it be to our benefit to collect maybe some coin and practice? are fighting before we go to the maybe friendly fire jugglers village. You want to go back in there? Not the... Not the crucible. Don't rub my face in it. Not in the crucible to the braving grounds. What's that? Braving grounds is... We went, we were just in the pub.

I mean, that was just a backyard brawl, basically. He's talking about the temple. The church of cord. Was that the crucible I was in? No. The crucible was the pit you're in. The pit. The pit. The temple you're at is the trial forge. The whole area you guys are in this district of Vassaheim is known as the Braving Ground. This is what I think, Grom. That's too fresh. You need some time away from it.

We should absolutely come back and you should break that guy's fucking face. No question. I could have. Yeah. I'm really could have. You almost did. Yeah, next time bite his nose off right away. I will insults you even harder. I did it too late. I did it too late. With them from the balls.

good, good effort. Let's go where Keyleth. Yes, we've come a very long way. Keelith is near her family. She needs to see where that road lies. We should take care of each other. And once we do, we'll come back

and we'll fucking kill that guy. And we can use weapons if they suck, right? Yes. Yes, yes. You can cut open anyone you want. Speaking up weapons, aren't we in like a perfect weapons buying district? Is that true? Is that true? Yes! Can we go

find an obbery or somewhere that sells pointy things? You can certainly try. Yeah. As a note too, as you're having this conversation, you reach into your pocket, Grog. As you're like following your your pocket and realized that you saved in your drunken state, the upper lip.

It's rubbery and dry, but it's there. I tuck that inside of my belt beard. Just so it's nice there, one little part of it, just flap it out. Okay. What about your beard? Is he growing his beard? Oh, it is a new head.

You get to go ahead and roll a percentage dice. You're slowly collecting another party member. Nine or 90. And nine, 90. 99. No beard this morning. Has to be the other way. Go the other way?

Our life is shit. I can't do anything. It's a rough day for grog. I say, I'm hanging myself. Where's the bridge? There's no bridge here. Actually, I don't know about any else, but I'm incredibly low on funds at the moment. Perhaps shopping is not the best bathroom.

To be fair, we did just do a lot of shopping. We did just do a lot of shopping. Yeah, let's just go adventuring. We haven't had an awkward parental confrontation in what feels like months. I'm so nervous. You really are. Well, I mean, it's a big thing. But I forgot, have you seen them ever?

I've, the first time I left home was when I met up with you guys. You guys suddenly hear this slamming sound that echoes throughout the nearby city. You hear this, this impact, like this distant cracking of stone against stone. Something's happening. A few seconds later, you hear this low, this horn that's just bellowing out this deep echoing horn. The rest of the tavern kind of looks around, confused, a couple individuals kind of step up. outside to look. I'm going to run outside. You're currently, you've been walking away for a while and you get about roughly 10 minutes

away before you hear this impact and these horns going off in the distance. I turn to the bar keep and say, what was that? Do you know, have you heard that before? What is that? It's the horn of a trial. That means there's some sort of attack. Attack, where? How do we know where? I don't know, but I'm getting ready. I'm getting ready where? What are we doing? I'm gonna cast fly myself and see what's going on. Okay, so become invisible and begin lifting up into the air. No, I'm staying in the visible.

Oh, because you... Okay. So you lift up into the air and then appear as the constrictive spell wears off. Huh? I got to guide your crowd. Looking over, you can see immediately there appears to be some commotion, like some dust is scattered up from the forest on the far side of the braving grounds,

outside of the major wall of the city. Oh, that forest is probably crazy. Turn it back. Then I'm going to do like a to where the bar. Okay, you start gliding over. As you guys rush out, you can see now a bunch of the bastions that are set across the top of the wall are gathering and loading in bolts and you see two of them fired. You hear this now guttural roaring sound, but multiple ones, like a chorus of large

bestial screams. I can then know, wham, a second slamming sound of Stoned to Stone, and you can see the very distant wall right below where those, uh, uh, uh, you can know, um, you can know, um, a second slamming sound of the stone and stone and you can see the very distant wall right below where those two bastions were that fired, those giant dragon-headed bolt throwers, both, p'ph, get thrown off the top, falling a good 40 feet out of view beyond the distant rooftops. You can see a small crack beginning to form at the top of the wall.

Two other bastions now begin to rush in and take the place in those two bolt throwers. I yank, two daggers out, flip them, catch them, and then just start running towards the Can I grab the flying carpet out of the bag of holding before you take off? Yeah. Sure.

You grab it. You guys start running. You're lighting in. Fall on rug. I'm ambling behind them. OK. I'm going to stretch too. Oh, you want to go over.

OK. I'm going to go in different. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going on. OK.

I'm hopping on as well. You hop on. Sounds with me. Come on, Percival. At which point, two more bolts are let loose. And you hear the creature once again scream. In pain. And then the foot falls.

But we don't see them yet. No, you just hear. Here, it's not the other side of the wall. You see what looks like, almost like a toothy mothed mall, straight across the top of the tower for a moment, and then the tree line shift, and the footfalls get quieter and quieter. Go ask one of the bastion guys what it was. Yeah, we fly up next to one of the shooter guys and say,

what was it? What is it? You glide up to it, and as you look down, you can see the two bastions that fell, they're currently being tended to. One of them looks unconscious and rough from the impact of the fall. The other one is walking with a limp trying to find its way back towards the interior of the wall that leads up to the top of his post. The one you come by is like sweat beating down his face,

and he's literally another bolt, and he's kind of looking out, wide-eyed towards the forest. He goes, I came back. What? What came back? We've had this blasted thing seen on and off again for the past few weeks. I don't know, maybe it's hungry, it's bored,

but either way, this multi-headed thing, this hydro-like creature keeps coming in and, I don't know, I think he's testing the wall. Should we go kill it? We don't see it anymore, I don't think. I think it's gone back into the woods. Can we see what we guys? We've got a few hits in, but it went and

I never seem to get enough to take it down. Can I track it? Can I track it? Can you track it? I mean, you're welcome to try. It's only been maybe two or three times this past week, but it's come once or twice a week for the past month. month. Any different areas of the city. Not just this beast, a few different ones, but mostly

this, this, this, this abomination. It's a nuisance more than anything. Although it did get a good hit on the wall and he looks over and you can see there's like a crack in the stone. He kind of looks nervously over it and we'll get to fixing that right quick. Um, yeah, I keep slinking off back into the Vesper Timberlands. Cord help us if there's more than one of these. Good all cord. Uh-huh. Uh, okay. I grab my earring. I say Tiberius, where are you? I'm flying around. You just now glide over seeing the flying carpet

towards the top of the wall. Okay. I'm above you. Where? Is he visible? He is visible, just gliding down. You guys have run up to the edge of the wall. You're beneath looking up at the flying carpet.

They're having this conversation at such a distance where you can't really hear them talking. But Percy Vex and Vaxon up on the flying carpet currently, conversing with the batch. Float up a little bit and see if we can see movement in the trees where it is. You can see the canopy shifting slightly. It's about a quarter mile off and disappearing before eventually. It's a little bit out of sight.

You figure a creature that large can't be too difficult to track. Can we go kill it? Well, I bring the carpet back down and say, I see where it went if you guys want to, you know, fight it. Well, let's go find them. What do you think? I'd like to go get my muddy up crowd camera. The what? Money of cracker? I thought we were decided to see Keyless parents.

We did the Flame Druids. The individuals are now currently, they're currently, you left during a family meeting. That money's not going anywhere. That's fine. I suppose you would. Let's help the city out and then we'll go on to see Keylet's parents. A plan.

Help the city out by going to track the Hydra first. Go follow this. I'll run back to the tavern real fast. People have left, right? Yeah, there are people that saw outside kind of looking into what happened. The bar keep still there? He's there, and he's currently putting on armor

by himself. It's okay, it's okay, he left. Bit crack in the wall. You might think about leaving. Before you do, the siren. Where might I find her? Can I think he's himself as, she's a slippery one.

She doesn't really shows up when she wants to start a fight. I gather your best bet will be ask around, uh, well, here she runs at times with the, um, what do they call? The Slayers' take. The Slayers' Slayers' Take. As you were talking about this, the Bastion that was talking to you guys is now coming down the wall and he's like, are you seriously thinking about going after that thing? Only if there's money involved. Oh, I can guarantee a beast of that size, not much of a problem's got a hell of a price on it's that. From who?

From who? Wow. Gather anyone you take it to at that point. I'd take just one or more of its heads back or some proof of it's dead, and I'm sure there'll be a few people that will fight over any of her fist to pay for that. Easily get ahead.

Let's go right now. Grog's doing something. Let's go. No, let's not leave the wrong. What? Grog, come in. We're going to go kill something. We need you.

We're on the carpet. He's flying. Give a minute. Give me a minute. I can try a creature spell. You can do a what? The trick is with Grog. I can cast locate.

creature she can cast rocket creature I can cast let's leave trinket behind no just for now it's so hard to get drugs on for a long time he needs rest let's go drink is they're behind you like lose this thing I am I don't I didn't learn polymorph you you're gonna have to ask Canlan about that one yeah please oh who what me I don't do I know whatever that thing is is getting away we're losing time we can track him I'm A ranger. I drop to my knees and I cast a location. I can only come if Tiberius lets me.

Oh, to fly. Yes, exactly. But let's keep twiddling our thumbs, please. I'm going to pass fly out of my ring. All right. I guess we're going. Do you want to use your ranger tracking skills or should I try and cast a spell?

Nope, nope. Nope. Nope. I can definitely use my ranger tracking skills. I'm going to cast it at fifth level. I'll cast it on myself, or I'll keep it on him, and Grog, and on Trinket. Okay, so Trinkin once again,

like last time, remember, Trinket. Trinkets seems to be a little less perturbed by the circumstance. I grabbed Trinkets paw, like in Superman 1, and Superman, although it was flying. Grog and Trinket, coasting through the air, arm and palm. Thank you, Tyberia. You're right.

Peter Pan and Wendy. Can you read my mind? Can you read my mind? front of me like I came in there. All right. So as you guys all drift up over the town, you can immediately see the bastion that was talking to you is looking very, very curiously at Tiberius.

Oh, don't worry, he's really nice. Sorry, there was just a little magic so we can go kill the Hydra, sorry. As you guys vanish over the wall, you can now see before you the entirety of the Vesper Timberlands. Most people just say thank you. D.

Below you, the landscape is entirely consumed by what looks like the densest forest you've ever encountered. The cold air seems to be growing colder as the day progresses on, and the clouds themselves are choked dark gray. The rain never fell last night, but the storms seem, or at least the storm front that seems, still ominously looking overhead to the entirety of this landscape. Looking down across the Vesperet Timberland, you can see the thick canopy, the occasional mountain or hill that's kind of jutting through the top of it. But there is no movement.

There is no current sign of the creature. Choose some bait. Wait, no. We saw the direction that went in, right? Don't worry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. My sister's a ranger.

She can track anything. Are you being an asshole to me today? I don't know. Why am I? I don't know. You're the best. I judged him apparently, and I don't remember doing it. The critters of, figure it out. No.

Yeah, can I go low to the ground and track it? You can. So you take the carpet down, and as it hits the canopy, it's a very slow, arduous process to weave between the thick network of branches and vines and other bits. of growth that have completely covered the top of this forest. Eventually, the carpet comes down into the floor, the rest of you guys who are flying coming along as well? I'm coming along.

Oh yeah. You all come down behind the carpet, eventually breaking through the top of the canopy and reaching the interior of the Vesper Timberland itself. This is my other favorite terrain. Nice. Good to know. Good to know. Really? What is it? What?

This forest, incredibly lush, presses up against the city walls itself, nearly impressively with the impact. Like it grows up right against the city wall. And it's almost like the wall itself is constantly keeping it bay the way the growth is pushing inward. The tree trunks, you see now that you hit the interior, very inside, some only a few feet in diameter. You come across a couple that are 20, 30 feet or more

in diameter, like giant trees. Also, even though it's midday at this point in time, the light inside the forest is choked so thin, it's almost like it's dusk near dark inside the forest. The air hits you with, like, the smell of wet earth and moss. Vines and branches dangle from and reach from every direction. And you can see there are, you can walk through the path here, but nearing trees themselves, the roots are so large and so twisted

where they enter the ground, it's, you're definitely going to have to keep up with your range, your friend here. Just like normal base. So have we touched down or we, like, traveling? You guys are now in the forest kind of pushing through various walkways. Go ahead and make a survival check with advantage. Survival check. Yep.

Is that for her or for her? She's tracking the creature. Oh, natural 20! Oh, yeah! Nasty! All right. So, uh... Roll the second one.

Following its path, you see that there are tracks going both ways, meaning the creature, as it came through towards the city, it turned its path about and then exit at the same pathway. So as you're following it along for a good 15 minutes or so, you come across a small opening in the forest and where you can see it, you can see. forest and where you can see what looks to be a very messily, partially devoured carcass of something. Is it big? It's, it was pretty big. It's definitely spread out over this area. I think it ate something here, you guys. Good ranging. What's what? What you do? Thank you. Good ranging. Thank you.

I'd like to try and identify the animal at eight. Make an investigation check? 13. 13? Yeah. You look at it, it appears to be some sort of bird beast. Huge in size at one point It is long dead for at least Like moose big or bigger?

No, like as big as some of the umberhulks that you fought. Okay. But it looks humanoid-ish, more primate-like. The more you look at it, it looks like it may have been at one point a large,

massive ape of some kind. What? But it has been torn open, limbs scattered all across this small clearing You can see there are a series of bite and scratch marks across it, and most of its internal organs are missing. I don't know what we're tracking, but I think it's friendly.

Can I do a nature check to see if I can figure anything out about the nature of the attack? Sure. And that's gonna be 21. Whoa. As you look down at it, you kind of take close inspection at the attack. You look, a creature like this, when it destroys and bites, especially the creature that you saw earlier, or briefly appear through the canopy when you first arrived. Many heads, gnashing teeth, the bite marks and the attack on this carcass are definitely

in line with that creature. However, you do notice that there are other marks and attacks across it as well. Some of the wounds across this body appear to be made by weapons. There are gash marks and slashes. And the more and more you inspect the body, you can see the blood that has been scattered about by this was thick and congealed by the time that it was tossed amongst this opening. Does it look like the wounds from the weapons happen post-mortle or at the same time?

Actually, the wounds from the weapons appear to have occurred fresh, whereas the wounds of it being killed and eaten, or at least being eaten by the creature, appear to be post-mortem by quite some time. So it was killed by civilized folks. and then torn apart by this thing, by this hydra. Or the hydra has mastered weapons.

Maybe the slayers take it. And can I figure out what kind of, it's just some sort of bird creature, is all he could, is all Percy could do serve? Ape creature. It's an ape, bird ape. It's essentially a massive, for life of a better term, a dire-sized ape.

Whoa. A dire ape. That's quite the ape-cape. Dire. Right. So it's possible somebody was feeding it. They're not mucking around. Should we continue on? Keep tracking, keep tracking.

That's the only pun you got? That's all yeah. My sister and I'm going to check and see if there's any sign of it in the area. Yeah. You're going to go ranging? Oh, that was good. This was. I'm not going to roll that one.

Oh, man. 21 for me. Yeah, only 18 for me. Okay. Oh wait, for advantage. Oh, that's way better. I mean, would you get to you like? 25.

Looking ahead, the, this carcass was eaten before the creature attacked the city. You can see from the time difference that has happened. But it has tore through this space recently, and you can see part of the body has been kind of shoved aside and crushed under some giant clawed foot. And continues kind of weaving between the trees and this small pathway. small pathway that looks kind of well worn. Like there are some portions of the forest that are well overgrown and mostly untouched. There is a specific path along the floor of this forest that looks like it's been used often by large footsteps and small ones. Should we follow along that path? But maybe off to the side of it, like in

the trees but like next to the fence? No, let's just go down the middle. What, do they? Leave traps? It's a hydrant. I'll go down in the bushes, thanks. Okay. It's not a Is this like a thicket? Is it like a pretty? Possibly not. There are many portions of this that come across this rough terrain because at certain times it's okay, especially on the worn path.

Any off that can be a little more difficult to traverse. And is it plant life? Plant life, tree roots, heavy thick branches that have fallen or have grown out and interwoven. Occasional rocks or natural formations that have just jutted out of the earth. Let's continue on. All right.

As fast as possible. Make another tracking check with the advantage. Oh man, another one. With advantage. I'm going to... 16? I'm going to inspire her

for a little song of inspiration. All right. And the range is going to range, range, range, range, range, and the track is going to track, track, track, track, track, track. I'm just going to watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch. Watch a range. Watch a range. Woo, who, who.

Okay. I don't like that song. What do I get to add? A D-10. Yeah, so 19. Oh good. Three points. Three points.

Yeah, three points. All right. You continue moving forward off the track for another 10 minutes or so before you see some movement ahead. Oh. Shim, sure. Reception? Reception check.

I'm joining that 21. That's good. 12. 18. How far away away from each other? You're kind of keeping them pretty close. You're a little bit behind them, but you're letting them kind of push forward. Unless you just do anything otherwise.

No one's stealth. All right, make stealth check. You and Percy, go ahead and you look for, and you notice that there are a couple of small pools of water that have just kind of coalesced through the recent storms or just a natural small pool of water that exists in this portion. But you can see the back of a large, scaled creature with kind of a tan, dark brown hide. long tail currently stooped down and drinking from the water to the pool. You can hear the distant, the sound of water dripping out of its jaws and you can see now this is, there are multiple heads taking drinks of the pool here.

Is the foliage around us green, green brown, standard foliage color? In this area, because of the nature of the rich earth, most of the foliage here is a deep green. I'm going to turn us all deep green with seeming. With what now? Seaming. Seeming. Seeming. Thank you. Yes.

With seaming. I spread my seaming all over us, turning us green with seaming all over us. Oh, man. Oh, my, dude. Okay. Nothing you can't ruin. The hue of your garments begin to shift

to the color of the surrounding forest. Like everybody to go ahead and make a stealth check in housing already with advantage. Best ambushes are at the waterhole. I'm gonna cast stone skin right now. Okay. Oh my gosh. We're rolling for stealth?

Shannida, shana da. With advantage. Natural 20. Oh, good. Oops. Got a nice neat. 15. 15.

16. All right. Wow. Are you five? Total? These are trees. There. It's there.

Let me get the edge of the water. Whoa! Is that like a dragon? That is a massive hydra. So it's not technically like in the dragon school? No. Hail hydra. It's considered a month's cross.

Hell hydra. You guys are all kind of hidden inside here. Ooh, Hydra. I'm shooting. Just saying hello. Hello. Hail hydra. Hail.

Oh. Where do you hail from, Hydra? Shoo Hydra. Caste hail, hydra. Just shoo him away. All right. We'll put that as your current placement. So stealth scores are

30. 16. 18 for him. 25. 15. 15. It was a natural 20. Do I add anything? No, yeah.

Don't worry about that. So we're all good. Okay. You're welcome. The creature should keep drinking. Occasionally a head will come up and look around. Another head up and snap at it and snap back and then both go down and they start drinking on their own.

You apparently are not currently noticed. Should I have rolled for Trinket? You go and roll for Trinket. I rolled at 18 for Trinket. Okay, that's fine. Drink it with his deep green furt moment. Yes, he's a cute green trinket. So what'd like to do?

I'm pulling out my dagger of venom. Okay. Set a really good trap. Let's think about this. I was going to say, um, I can, like, box them in with my wall of stone. I can, it's true. I can also cast the spike growth thing again, since if he doesn't see me do it, then he can... We can try to push it in the water.

I like your box. Whatever we do, we should do it quick. In the water and lightning the water? What do you have? Anything? I have all kinds of things. Yeah. Suggestions.

Um, we better act quick. He might see us. If you box it in, we can't get in. If we can, if we can, if we can, if we can, if we can, if we can nudge him into where he's drinking and then box him in, that we can drown him? Yeah. We're trying to. Yeah. Boxing in the water and then lightning the water.

Keyleth, you're up. Keyleth, when you shape the stone, can you make it lead towards him in a ramp? Do it. I can run up. No. It wouldn't. It'll still box it in. I can just traverse it.

I can push him in if I still have that. Yeah. I just do what you're saying. Yes, I can. Like them. Like this. Like this. Well.

Yeah, I'm gonna pyramid in essentially. Yes. Oh, absolutely. Okay. Go for it. Okay. And I'm gonna try and make, um,

like almost behind him is like an auditorium. In the front of him is like a jabby ramp. Does that make sense? Auditorium? Let's do this. Jabby ramp. Okay. Uh, the wall stone has to be connected to itself.

So it would have to be like a, I want to take the carpet move. Okay, I'll do like a spiral. Yeah, like a spiral. Like a spirally ramp to the trap cement. Okay. We're gonna take the carpet and make our way to the other pond.

Do you want to go from either side? Well, he's drinking in the water. You take the carpet, go to the other side and I'll walk over with trinkets together. Gotcha. He's next to the water. What is he looking for? It's leaning into it.

Oh, carpet got moved. Oh, what carpet? We have flying carpets from fans here I want to use, but it got moved. Are they in our box? Are they in our magic plugs? Uh-oh. Oh, well.

Okay, we'll find them. We'll find them. We'll find them. We got carpets from you guys to use. We'll get that in a second. Um. It's a tiny carpet. It's fine.

It's fine. We got to move. I know. Okay. So, Percy, you have the, I have the carpet. I'm gonna head towards that small, um, oh, it's right, I've got a thing.

Have a thing, you have a laser pointer, show me. What is that? That is a rock. I'm going to move. just to the other side of that. Okay, you coast through here, unseen. And I'm gonna do the same to the other side, actually. Move around, behind, and get to this side here?

Yeah, that works. Rettlton, over the side? Would I be able to shoot him from behind that, the one further back? From this one here? Or from this one? That one. From here, right now, now.

Okay, well then yeah, I'll go behind the big tree. There, yeah. All right. Totally hidden, hidden, hidden. Yes. Anyone else's placement? I'm going to just move closer. Yeah, I might be able to do my action. Like there?

Hey, Matt. Do we have a lot of? You do. Instead of wall of stone, I'm actually going to cast my one six-level spell. Okay. Which is move Earth. Oh, yeah. Do that.

Essentially. Have you read Move of Earth? Like a few weeks ago. You can move large chunks of Earth over a small period of time. It's not an attack spell. It's more of a. you can dig a cave I'll sit with the Eritzlpan with Walden.

I can't like dome them up and go ahead and push them into the water like that one. I'll probably know that one. All right, I'll stick with Wallace Stone, which I know I can't do. All right. I'm going to make a hydro pyramid. Don't throw it. I want to since I'm, I've rolled a 30,

I'm going to just get down in sort of a crouching and splurges run right there. Okay. Keyliff, where are you going? Thank you. To have a line of sight on the creature, where you going? Right there, it's fine. Oh.

You don't have a line of the creature. There's a tree block. Is there? Can we do a... No, let me move towards Scanlan. All right, so we're here? Yep. I'd like to do a quick investigation on him.

This is like... Oh, yes. I rolled a, is that 21? What are you trying to do? Guess how much he weighs? Uh... If you can shift a creature of this size, probably... Probably close to...

of two tons. How much is that? More than three tons, maybe? It's like 1,000 pounds. 5,000 pounds. Damn it. That's super big. It's a big creature.

We got this thing. Let's attack, man. Let's do this. Rod, where are you on? I'm going to just make us visible in the second. I'm going to post up on my laser pointer. Is it? Spring, brink.

Here. In your eye. Fuck, I didn't put it. He's having the worst day. This is head but a tree or something. DiBere, is you saying right there? Keep me within 100 feet of the beast. That's well within 100 feet right now.

I'm sorry, that's so great. Well, that's, facts can move. That's fine. Four. Is that my best, like, P-O-V? To see it, yeah. Otherwise, you would be blocked. Okay.

All right. That's Frog's new nickname. Actually, we can move anywhere right now, right? This is when you pull of Philip. All right, is everyone set? Who's taking the first initiative on this? I am. All right.

All right. Drink it. Next to grow. Drink it. They all work. Okay, so I want to try and do a little pushy shivery at the same time. Put me there instead.

All right. There we go. Look at us all strategized. Yeah, that's coming handy when he just kills all all. She's drinking, starts moving. Okay, as he gets kind of in that corner of that puddle, I'm going to Fibonacci circle and kind of starting here,

push him in a bit and wrap him up. Fibonacci. So you create from the earth a wall of stone that comes jutting out that way. Yeah, I want him to be kind of tight in the circle here and if it can kind of push him in towards the water. The force of the wall of stone slams into him. and through the physical form, it's not enough to actually move the creature at its size and weight,

but it does form around it and kind of hold it in place currently. As soon as Vak sees that he starts running through the grass up the slope of the stone. Through the tall grass. All right. Wait, he's on the, and he's on the stone right now? And as I run, I click my boots. He's surrounded by a ramp of stone. Okay.

A ramp, that's like, start like reaching out and biting at the stone. You're running up the stone? Yeah. boot against the other of haste as I run up it. Start going faster, run up, up, up, up, and I'm going to jump and I'm going to just start stabbing into that head in the back. All righty, go for it. Yeah, baby. Okay, 17, shit, and 27. Second one hits. The final one hits? Sorry, the first one was...

It was 17. 17, one misses, the final one hits, yes. Okay, so does this count a sneak attack at this point? All right, so I roll a nine for damage plus eight, 12, 14, 15, 17 of sneak attack damage with the first attack and that's poison. And the poison is DC 15. DC 15. Uh, misses. Does not make it save? Uh, with 11 points of poison damage to its head.

That's just the first attack that hits. And then I take my keen dagger and I jab for the eye. Uh, and that is a 10 of damage. Good, dude. Nice. It is considered a sneak attack, so it has a surprise round. Both, both attacks? The first attack that hits is considered a sneak attack. The first attack I gave you was sneak attack.

No, I mean the first attack that hits It gets it. Yeah. You miss, miss and then you hit. Oh, I thought I hit and missed and hit. No, you missed and hit. Missed and hit. All right, well then erase the first numbers I told you then.

So it's just 10 plus it was 17, so 27. All right, 27 damage. Do you leap, run up the stoneward, click the heels, rush down, and then slam and the dagger slips into the front of its torso, the actual blade pulsing as the magical energy expels itself, poison, rocketing through its body. all of a sudden the heads turn around and force you have five heads looking right at you

five heads I thought there were three heads oh there were five at 15 of poison then add 15 of poison awesome is any part of them still in those up pool? Is he poisoned or just takes 15 additional points of damage? That's the, it gets poison

and it takes damage over first and then this episode is brought to you by Netflix. Most valuable promotions in Netflix are hosting a blockbuster triple headliner Saturday May 16th. Ronda Rousey. returns to face fellow woman's MMA pioneer

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The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time.

And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s. And man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.

See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. Every round, I think it takes that poison. No, it just means it's poison, which means it has disadvantage. Yes, DC15 plus damage on the hit. Thank you. There's the fine carpet. Yay! Yay!

All right. Is, what do we call it? Is any part of the creature still in the water? One of its feet is currently off the side. Cool. I'm going to cast invisibility. Okay. And then I can, can see it, because I'm on the other side of this ramp, right?

Yes. I'm going to cast chain lightning? Right foot. Chain lightning? Yeah. Nice. You have chain lightning? On all the heads.

Light that fucker up. Chain lightning? Merry Christmas. It's new. It's a 150 foot range and I do 10d8 damage. Ooh! It takes half damage on the... I know, I used it in that fight that you didn't want to fight in.

Yeah. What's the... What's the DC? Oh, it's 17. 14. All right, it doesn't make it safe, half damage, but still. Okay. Let me count these.

All the same numbers take. There's a bunch of sevens. Stupid ones. There's 10. And this is great. Five, and then eight, 20. Altogether.

No, that's 28. Oh. And then 38, 43. 43. Awesome. So a total of, say, 22 points of damage. Dude. From a save.

Now, so as you, as it stepping into the water, it takes an additional, I'll say, additional 2D8 from being in the water. So two more? Yeah, I'll hold them here. Additional line damage to that. Nice. Hell's yeah.

As it pulls back, the stone around it, the rogue leaps up, and slams you into the blade, its heads turn around, and as it does, you turn around, vanish from sight, and then you cast it. Greater invisibility, just invisibility? Greater. Right. Okay, good enough. Release your hands in a torrent of blue electrical energy rockets forth from your hands,

streaking out some parts, leaving arcs that hit the nearby forests, and then slamming into its body, its exposed heads. You can see the arcs now shooting through between the very very very, and necks and body as it rides and streaks about, slamming its body into part of the stone that kind of cracks and heaves from the impact, still holding it in place. Well done.

Dude, that's massive. Do you want to move? Is that your turn? I'm going to, what are the big lumps? Are there's trees? These are trees. Okay, cool. Anywhere walking on the truck around it is difficult terrain.

As I do that, I'm just gonna go right behind that. Okay. All right, that ends your turn. Who else wants to do anything that's wrong? Yeah, I want to shoot him. All right. I'm gonna shoot him. We all get a free,

you'll get a free round and then we'll get a free round and then we'll get a free round on it. Nice round. All right, so bonus action. Oh, I'm sorry, DM. This is after the fact. Assassinate on any attack before the enemies had a chance to take a turn, yet any hit on surprise as a crit.

Good to know, so that's 54 damage. Whoa! Your initial strike. Thank you. That's all I get. Going hydrant. That's what I do. So I'm gonna cast hail of thorns at third level.

So I'm gonna roll for that. Jesus. That is such a cool model too. No. That's only 16 that doesn't hit, does it? For hail of thorns? 16 does not hit unfortunately. Even though he's like trapped?

So, no, it's against the armor, like actually like, ricochets off the- off the hide of the creature and disappears off. It explodes against the tree trunk in the distance, and you see a smattering of magical thorns shootout into one of the canopies. Okay, then I'm gonna try just doing regular attack through the magical bow of fire.

And that is 17. Halo thorn is an action to cast though, isn't it? Yeah. You've already used your bonus action to then never mind, I can't do anything. Unfortunately. I just fucking fucked that up. It's okay for a surprise around.

Do you want to do anything with yourself placement or trinket wise? Yeah, I want to climb. I'm a tree that I'm next to. Okay, so using movement, go ahead and make, we'll say an athletics check to climb a tree. Huh. So, 20s to choose from.

I know, right? What was that, athletics or acrobatics? Athletics. Why? Because there's no branches nearby, you kind of have to like, six. I'm gonna stay on the ground.

You slide back to the trunk, turn around, grab your bow and like, prepare yourself. Drink it anything? Drink it. Triggis gonna stay right there. All right. It's just gonna stand and be disappointed on you.

That's, uh, uh, I'll move and do lightning. Why not? I'll just try to get as much as possible. We all move in. Just so I won't hit whoever that is. That would probably be right there. Great. All right, so you unleash a lightning bolt?

Yes, I do. Go ahead and roll damage, 8D6. 8.6. These are six? No, no, six. Does not make it safe, hold of five. Nice. Nice. By the way, we need seven more subs,

which is ironically the same number of heads, the high grass. You mean seven more subs? Seven more subs in the work? Seven. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm gonna get a bear. 19.

19. All right, gotcha. Yeah, we needed to get 500. That was totaled 8d6. That was 66. 8D6 for a whole two more. Oh, awesome. Oh, shit.

Ten more. Yeah. All right. So you turn around the corner, the energy is still crafting around it from the chain lightning. You will unleash your own lightning bolt. It hits it from the side.

Slamming your lightening. into side of one of the heads, the head actually pops from the impact. So now down four heads. Oh. Hey. I got a head! You got a head!

I got a head! You're getting a head in life. Two of the hands are dead already? What's my distance on there? Is this? I can do the double head. For actual rounds. Is this pepper box distance or a bad news distance at the moment?

Right now, you can't see it because there's a tree in the way. But your pepper box distance from here, bad news, you can try bad news, but you can have to put up All right, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, curling around the tree I'm near, I'm gonna take some movement to, uh, fly out of the pond, Percival. Yeah, like to like fly over the pond back here. Okay.

And while I'm making my little round, I'm gonna take two shots with, with the pepper box before. Okay, so as the cart is gliding past, you're basically straining it and go ahead to fire. You have a bear. Yeah, she has a bear? She has a bear. We got a bear!

Oh my god, I was gonna be a giant treat kit. That's so stupid. on, miss fire. That's so heavy. Whoa. We've got the bag. We've got the bag. That's going to look right next door.

On the first track? Yeah, I miss fire. I don't care. We got a bear. All right. As you straight past you pull your per box and go to fire, suddenly there's an adult sound. And as you look at your gun, it explodes for a second to your face.

You barely manage to get your visage out of the way as the barrel itself heated up and you have to shake it off. Yeah, your pepper box is looking a bit rough. That's fine. I'm putting it away. That will, it's so key, that everyone's gone, but Grog. Me. Oh, can I run all the way up

and try a pool of axe like he did? Probably, yeah. Yeah, I want to try that and I rage, as I'm right on the corner, ax in your hand, you rush up the side of the stone ramp that she's created and it's right in slamming distance. Go ahead.

Swing away. See, swing away. That's good. That's good. 24. 24. Four. Four hits.

Yes, and the second one. I believe in you, Grogh. You can do the thing. It's. 16. 16 misses, and then. That's it, just the two. Right.

I'm not friends. Oh, I'm running. Ah, yes. 17. 17 points of damage. You see. Hack once again, slamming into the side of one of the necks, causing a gout of kind of purplish blood to spray over the right side of your body.

That ends the cutout round, the surprise round. The creature is now aware that you're definitely there. Oh, sure. Everyone will initiative. Oh my gosh. Let's go, let's use, let's use, oh. Alright, so 25 to 20. 22.

Use this button. It's painted by. Oh. 20 to 15? Not so good. 16. Okay. First good rule I've ever had.

For initiative, yes. It is. 13. Which means I'll die. Both you guys 13? All right. Which means I'll probably die. I'll be fine.

Four. That's what you usually get. You've got a four? Yeah. All right, two. Top of the round, Tiberius. Cool. As you start to see, the head that got blown off,

two heads sprout out of the one. Out of the wound, out of the wound. That's why you said it in them. It now has six heads. It had five when we started. Yep. And we walked the head, two more grueless place. Hailhydra. How do we not have...

But how Hercules defeated him is he just cut off so many that they started attacking themselves and they got tangled up Regardless, I'm gonna be sure just They stop bro? It's still it's still in the same position it was right when we started Correct? It did seem to To heal a bit of its wound as the heads pull out of it. It has a sense of regeneration to its physical Oh, good awesome sweet I go I don't know what you do.

Aim for the body. And I stick in my ring and chain lightning him again. Chain lightning and it's a sixth level spell. Okay, I can you really, no. And I had one stored in my ring of source calling. Your ring can only store up with a third level spell. Motherfucker. You went over this last time.

It's okay. No, no, no, that was the iron stone. Both. We all learned something today, kids. That's good. Okay, I don't do that. Instead, fine. I'm going to, uh.

in its mud hole? No. I'm going to cast telekinesis once. Don't rip its head off. I'm going to use and I'm instantly going to do a quick and spell and do five source for points to cast it immediately again to cast it on one head and another head and awesome to try wrap them all and choke them. Call them the shoelace. All right, go ahead and roll It looks trash. An arcana check for the first one. Oh, that's terrible. That's, what's that?

14. 14. What is it? 14. Okay, and for the second one? Ah, Nats for 20. Nice, bloody. Okay, so it rolled a 17 on its second save.

The first one, it did not resist, because it rolled the three. So what you do is as you cast telekinesis once, use your source points to cast it again, you might You manage to grip, you can't get all the heads, but you can grab two of them, one focus for each teleconnected thing. You take both heads and whack, whack, set them three times into each other and then twist the necks around to the point where both of them are biting onto their own necks after they've torn into a second. For that, they're both going to take 2D8 impact damage. That's nine plus five, 14 points of impact damage to each head. And then, and they're, both those heads are currently grappling each other.

so they will not be able to attack this turn. Nice. Nice. Put that stack on it. And then I go back against the trailer. That is my turn. All right. It is now the Hyder's turn, the really high initiative.

The two heads are going to untangle themselves. That's their attack and now only has four strikes this turn. Two of which are going to be against you and two of which are going to be against you. Come on. Who's your point in that? All right, so two of the heads, rear back, Blenging out at Vax over here. It's gonna be a, oh, it's a 19 plus.

Yes, it's a 29. Second one is going to be a 19. Yes. All right. So you take, okay, 17 and 15. 15? 15 and 15. 17 and 15.

So 32 points of piercing damage as both the head, one slams into the, like, one of the head snaps down on your torso and lifts you up for a second, the other head grabs the side of your body, and it feels like it's about to tear you apart for a second until you manage to elbow it in the nose and manage to get free of one head and shake off the other. Grog, other head comes at you.

The first one comes at a 24. It's. In an actual 20 for the second. Yeah, I guess so. Oh, no. All right. Philip's a fucking douche today. Oh, no.

Shake it, Philip. Just shake it off. 14 points from the first one. You are raging, so it's halved to seven. That's right. The other one that is a critical, that does come to 24. 12 points of piercing damage from that. That's good, that's good.

All right, that ends its turn. Vex, you're up. Yeah. Can I see its body at all, or is it? Yeah, you can see its body. It's pretty large, mainly just the heads are visible from the ramps blocking kind of the lower half of its, so you can't see its legs and its main part its torso,

but you can see the necks and the heads. I can't, so I can't see its body. Currently, no, it is blocked by her, uh, Stonewall. Okay. I'm gonna shoot towards where... Is this bad? Oh no.

Do it. I'm gonna shoot towards where all of the heads are joined together. I wanna shoot my... It managed to unravel itself during its turn, but it used its attacks to do so. You just mean down here. Yeah, down where all these heads are connected.

The base. Okay, you can sort of see that area best you can. Yeah. All about that base. I want to shoot my fancy exploding arrow. Ooh. Okay. The untested one?

The untested chance. The really, really, the one that you rolled. The one that has a little mark behind the side? The one that has a fancy mark. All right. You put out of your quiver, the exploding arrow, which you can see it. It's heavily weighted in the front, so you know you have to kind of fire it a slight arc against most of your arrows that you shoot. So go ahead and roll an attack on this one.

Oh God, oh God, oh God. Not great. Are you serious? Not great. A 20. A 20. A 20. As you pull back on your bow, you go to release it and the string

of shit ignites for a second. The arcane fire behind it, you absent-mindedly trigger. As you do, you realize the last minute, the arrow doesn't fire. You actually kind of freak out for a second and release the bow. The arrow falls, the flame hitting the edge of it, and it explodes and detonates right in front of your... right in front of you. Make a reflex saving throw, or sorry, a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, Pathfinder, you squeaking every now and then. Not don't, natural 20! Ooh! Okay, good. Now? Now the warning? Thank you, Dice God. So it would have been an explosively painful

38 points of damage. Holy shit. Is halved. Well, we know it works. Have to have. So you take 19 points of fire damage. Well, nice engineering person. Now if only I could have attached that to a donkey at some point.

A donkey. She said 19? 19, yeah. Jesus. You're knocked flat on your ass. That was all of Dungeons and Dragons contained in 30 seconds. For a year, he tried to get me to design an exploding donkey. I did.

I did. It worked. It worked. That was a little unfortunate. It was really unfortunate. really on more of it. Trinket can still move and finish off the round if you'd like. Yeah.

That was only one of your attacks. All right. Can Trinket run up and fight alongside Grom? All right. He's going to do that. Runs up the ramp, claws out. It's two attacks because of Beastial Fury. Yep.

Geez. Okay, I'm going to roll my trinket dice now. No. Never mind. Don't kill me now. Okay. I didn't even know what that, 16. 16 is not hit.

Cool. 19. 19 does hit. All right. It's. All right. Okay. Okay. 13.

Does he get hunter's mark? I would say yes because it is your bear. I'll let that happen. Yes, he does. That's another five. Nice. So 18 points of damage from Trinket. As Trinket runs up, one claw swings through the air,

and as the head rears back, seeing this new bear that's joined the fray, reaches out and clamps onto its throat with its jaws, tearing a chunk of its flesh out. Yeah, Crinket! Oh, Trinket! All righty. I got shit on that one. That brings us-

Scanlan. I'm just going to, sorry. I'm just going to punch it. I'm just going to punch it with Bigby's hands. I'm just going to do Bigby's hand and punch it. That's it. Good. Punch.

All right. That's my move. All right. Good, good. Let me both the spell roll. It's so cool. Go to sleep, go to sleep. It was cool in a different way.

It's make me's hand. You know what? Chamona. It's just a shining gludge. And the whole world is, yeah. Go ahead and roll a D20 and add your... It's a long time. Add my spell attack?

Yeah, it should be the top of your... This? Belles Spelzeak. 12. She's in 16. She's in 16. 21 hits. Go ahead and roll 48 points of force damages.

The fist slams. It's clocking one of the hydras in the face. Ooh, those are good. 16, just like a half while getting a Goliath. Nice. And with that, you actually punch one of the heads off the hydrae. It goes, spinning off into the- Oh no.

Oh, no. We don't want to punch heads off. Hey guys, I got rid of another head! Hey guys, I'm on a row! Oh no! Who still hasn't gone? I haven't gone, and Grog hasn't gone. Okay, I'm gonna inspire Grog with my bonus action.

All right, what inspired with? Oh, I gotta inspire my... Oh, gee. Come on, Grog, yeah, you know what I mean. It is time to reach on this. on this hydra. I have parted D10 to your inspiration.

All right, so as it gets to finish this your turn, at this point, candy. But what? You see a series of blurs because I'm going to be by bullshit. Blur.

Blur's in the bush. Blurrs from the bush. A voice rings out saying, What are you doing? And you now see an armored individual come rushing out from behind this tree here. Another armored individual rushing from there. A female with a large sword rushing from this side. Another character with leather armor and a robed female coming up from behind here.

This is our mark. You're not supposed to take that from us. Well, maybe you should have fought him before we got here. No. Why don't you? This is against the rules, you scag! At which point, um... Oh no, rules.

Wait, what rules? We don't know the rules! We tagged him first! Warcraft rules! Wow! I don't know what that means! Your Highness! So, this guy runs forward.

Oh, Jesus. The fire, he can't quite get all the way there, so he's going to, uh... I want to sit there. Uh, Mage moves out this way, and is going to look over at you as you're kind of getting to the gun looks over and reaches out her hand go to make a will or wisdom saving throw

I'm still not my wisdom oh my god the love of god did dieh did not sure oh yeah say it why somebody wants tonight no uh hold on wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait no hold him I peek over and counterspell you do not have visual on her at all I don't do trees are in between unfortunately Damn. You, as you're on the flying carpet, you see you over the shoulder, you go to get your gun,

you're starting to plug the bad news, and then your muscles seize and you find yourself held in place. Hold person. What are these? Hold Percy. Ass clowns. That's a cleric character,

you see comes forward holding a loft, a holy symbol, and reaches up, and suddenly you see the canopy above the hydra begin to glow with a bright orange light before a column of fire. Slaves down on the ground from the heavens.

On the hydra? On the hydra. Wait, what's that? What's that? What about the people that are near the hydra? Oh. I think there's a hit of clarity. 48 points of damage.

Four's eight. Four eight. While you were gone, everything happened, by the way. Everything happened. We were apparently taking someone's bounty. Someone's kill. This character runs up. Hersie's gloves.

Dress in leather armor, hood, clothes, runs back, pulling two. two long swords from underneath the clock and swings up to strike multiple times. You can see a hawk gliding over head in the canopy and it's fine the top. He's a ranger. He's a master ranger.

Fucker. All right. Does this is, huh? 12 points of damage with a first strike, the second one it goes to swing and hits the hiding to flex all of it. And it explodes in his face and he's knocked prone. Sorry.

This woman, as you rushes forward, you can see the skin has a pink, reddish tint, these kind of blackened, pointed horns curled in the back of the head. And she carries a giant great sword in her hands as she runs in a blur yelling out this angry war cry. It's ours! Runs up and swings towards one of the Hydra's heads. First one misses. The second one misses.

Wow. Yeah, she's just whish, whish, in her fury and anger and the frustration of currently having apparently a targeted bounty of theirs taken, she swings Wally to the air on missing both strikes. Her. And that's going to, oh, that fails. That's gonna end their route. All right, that brings us to Grog and Percy.

Percy, go ahead and make a wisdom saving throw. It's just wisdom modifier plus a D20. Is whatever your wisdom take the throws? Yeah, it should be. Natural 20. That would go, buddy. What? That's not happening, man.

What? What have I done? What is you guys? So you managed to struggle the effect, but that's your turn. He's like, go. I would like to look to the woman that swung in Mace and go, Oh, I think you're meant to do this.

And I'll swing for the body of the hydro. Okay. Uh, 24. 24 hits. And 20. 20 hits. So, why don't I use the stupid dice, but it's okay. Uh, 19.

19 damage. And 11. You hit once again second, almost like you're cutting on a tree. You're hitting it the same mark that you hit last turn. Carving a large chunk of the throat out, you can now see the exposed bone underneath and it's starting to like gurgle through its hissing. You bring the axe around with the inertia of the back swing and slam it into the base of another one of the necks as it slams into it. It gets wedged in there.

You have to pull it out with a giant spray of blood that actually spatters across the female teafling, which you now see, who kind of, as it sprays across her, she licks it on into pointed teeth, and you can see she brings her sword out ready to go ahead and attack it again, but she's like glaring at you now with like a, this is mine type expression. It's super hot. That means. Facts. All right, so am I still up on the elevated part of the stone?

You are, yes. Yeah, so the one that's occupied with Grog, I'm going to jump on it and cling my legs to the side and try to slice down as I go over the side of the wall. Okay. Okay. First is a 28. Alrighty. Let's just do that.

And it's a sneak attack because it's occupied with Grog, obviously. So that is a two plus. This is my keen dagger. That's a nine plus. Plus. Nine, 13, 16, 19, 24. 9 plus 24. is a

33 Yeah And then the second Dagger, flame tongue 9 to 19 Alright, that does it Okay, that's a regular old Full plus six is ten and then

Shwing out comes the venom dagger Which has already spit its poison And that is a 26 which also hits and that is a full plus six is ten So shank Shink Down its neck. No? All right.

So as you spin over, arc down, on the opposite side there. Nice, well done. I forgot to pull the lights. Fire pulled that motherfucker. It does resist the poisoning end of its turn, by the way.

Oh, God, yes. But even with the disadvantage, it's still managed the hippie. Last turn. All right, cool. So you flip over, arc yourself down after the series of dagger blades, carving these two long.

long, ragged wounds down the side of its body. As you hit the opposite side when the stonework is starting to crack a little bit from the impact and the swishing about of its physical body. Can I ask, do I have a bonus action at this point? I'm hasted, I've done three attacks. Is there time for bonus action? I don't know.

You would have, you have an attack. It's an attack, bonus action is a got it. Good, I'm good, thank you. All right. Keyless. Okay, should I try and get these fuckers off? Or should I just kill the damn thing? Kill the thing.

Attack the hydrant. We need to talk to them. We'll be able to them after. I am. I'm not. Cast call lightning. All right. Bring a lightning bolt right down on his head.

In the same space, you can see there's a burnt hole on the top of the canopy where that fire column came through. There's a slight sizzle of ozone before a giant hammering blow of lightning streaks from the heavens down into the body. You feel a jolt of energy in your daggers and you pull them out instinctively before it manages to... four manages to make his way to your body. Sorry. Go ahead and roll damage. Woohoo! That's a nine, eight, bringing us to 17.

21. 21 damage. Nice. Nice. All righty. And that ends the round. Top where the secondary head you blew off was, two more heads sprout out.

Now has seven heads. Hey, guys, there's more heads for me to knock off. Hey, this is the best thing ever! We don't get the head. keep doing it. You are winning. I bet if we keep doing it though I mean eventually the heads will outweigh the body and it'll just have to fall over. Oh you have me like top peppy. We can walk on the head. Um, okay well the circuit like that whole basis like he's like 20 feet himself isn't it? Sweet. I'm gonna oh there's a lot of people go who are they? I put my ring out and I'm gonna do instantly quick and

So do five more SB will bring me down to one sorcerer point. And I'm going to hook two fireballs right in the center. Okay. Of the hydrant. Okay. All right. So. I thought you did that.

But you're on to the side. You're not on it. All right. So you're drifting over here? Okay. You're going to hear you say? I'm not drifting in it. You're just aiming at it?

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I can use last resource for points to fire two fireballs. Explode. One after another. Go ahead and roll damage on both of them. A lot of dice. It's a lot of dice. Awesome. 20, what is that? The 9.29. 29. 231. 35. 36. So that's 41. Forty off the first one?

the first one huh oh god oh god first one yeah all right cool oh boy that's almost like straight sixes and five so 34 yeah 34 so that's uh 39 39 39 is what insane are you adding five each of those yes I don't think you're supposed to do that for fireball it's just any fire attack oh that's right because you have that never mind everything was fine dude yes that's right all right so I need a reflex save from grog from uh from uh I'm going to do rogues evasion. All right.

Instead, I'm going to use Matt Colville's dye made of iron from a meteorite. From a meteorite? Hopefully not die. Wait, from a meteorite? Yes. To be fair, the die didn't dodge the earth, so. What kind of roads?

Anybody else? Unless somebody's on them. Saving throw 8 plus the, I have rolled a 17. This is a 24 radius. So like everything in that area? Everything in the area. Okay. Well, that's done.

It's done. It's done. There we go. 17. I rolled a 17. Is that a success for failure? What's it? 17.

I asked before, is the hydro stuff like 20%? What is your difficulty? What's your difficulty? Is the spell save? Yeah. DC. I mean 17. 17.

So it makes it. For the first one, yes. So it hits him? For the first fireball. First fireball, yes. So you avoid that. entirely. Do I need to roll again? We're all gonna roll again in a moment? Yep. Okay. So every... I'll hold for the second one now. Oh now. That is less. Hold on a sec. Hold on a sec. Hold on a

hold on a second. Hold on. This has to wait. I'm gonna put a pause on it real quick. You can't. You already did it. I asked the question before I cast a spell is is the hydrant itself 20 foot radius. And I got a nod. And I figured my spell. The Hydra itself is a, uh, the creature, its whole radius is a 15 foot diameter. Diameter. So I... A radius is from the outside of it, from the middle. Radies is different from... Diagnet.

Geometry kids. Well then, it's fine. I'll shift it close. No, no, no, no. We already did. It's done. It's done. This is why this is interesting.

It's okay. So I succeeded the first time. I failed the second time, which means I have whatever the damage is, which is high. Right, so you take... Of one fireball. You take 18 points of fire damage. Okay. Okay. That's okay.

Two six. What am I rolling? Sorry. You're trying to beat 17. Oh, I rolled the 14 plus anything? Yeah, you got inspiration, friend. Yeah, I do. Well, it's plus your... Plus is what?

Is decks here? Proficiency? Proficiency or what? No, it's... Whatever your deck saving throw is. Oh, two. So 16 plus... So 18 for the first one.

18 for the first one. Okay, so you take 22 points of fire damage. Ready all that map, though, from the last game. I'm a shot you guys. Good. Nine. Nine. You can take it.

Yeah, I got it. It's good. Here's the other side of it, though. We'll get the second. So it's all right. It's still a change. Nine. Nine.

You take 39 points of fire damage. Okay, cool. I don't want to hurt my point. I don't want to say it, but. Trinket's dead. Trinket's right there. Oh, yeah. Roll a saving throw for Trinket.

No, no, no. Remember I said leave Trinket behind? Yeah, I know you said that, but he also attacked him. I'm ready. Okay. Save him for Trinket. Come on, Trinket die. Oh my God, okay.

Don't say it. No, it's good, it's good. 17 for the first one. Okay, that just makes it, so Trinket takes split second, it was like, one, it was like, one, and then, second one. Jesus Christ. You're okay.

I'm eating so much sugar, like completely out of nerves. Oh my God, you have in a lot of this. Yeah, they're in there. Oh wow, it's not either. It was really on an angle. It was really on an angle. That's unfortunate, because one of them was Good, one of them sucked.

So, did you roll? Seven. Seven, all right. So with the explosion, both explode out of the way, you both managed to avoid the break the damage, Trinket falls unconscious in the ground, the smell of burnt hair. The-green-burnt hair.

The hydro looks rough. However, the individuals also nearby that came in are also blasted back by the fireball. Please send replacement bear. Everyone but the cleric and the mage over there Yay, Inchemy. Both are hit with the double explosions. Everyone taking full damage except for him

it takes half on the first one. They all of a sudden look around daze and frustrated. Yeah, we just set off a nuke in the middle of the thing. The hydra, due to the fire impact, collapses inside the stone structure. Dead? Dead. Yes.

So how do you want to do this? Arkill! Fire kill! Oh my god. We've got a casualty. With casualties. With casualties. I don't have...

We'll take care of it. It's okay. How you're doing? Fine. Before the last one reaches it, I actually cast really hard control flame. It totally doesn't work this way. But I do it anyway. And I'm like, you pass it, I didn't mean to do this.

And I'm gonna hammer it like I did with Flaming Sphere when we were playing in private. I'll say through this. This. You send off the first fireball as it explodes and damages everyone in the radius. It blows one of the throats of the hydra up and part of the heads are now caught on fire. This is much better.

As you take the second fireball, you send it off, shouting that outward. You use control flame at the same time the telekinesis you're still maintaining to envelop the explosion of the fireball and contain it in center. You slam it and let it detonate as part of the impact into the torso

where the heads are currently attached. You end up blowing half the heads off the hydra in the process. The rest of its body trying to keep itself standing up. However, the explosion itself sent the stone wall around you guys broken into pieces and shards now sticking upward. The hydra backs up and falls onto its side, impaling itself on the shattered stone wall. As it slowly slides down on the wound, it gurgles out its last life breath. The rest of its body on fire, slowly sinking the base of the stone wall. That was really cool. Who can heal really a lot, really fast?

best. Trinket! I get up and run over to Trinket and like hold his little hands. Who's bad? Who's bad? Trinket's unconscious. What about these strangers? I run up to Trinket and I cast cure wounds on Trinket.

I run to Trinket as well. In a third level spell slot. All right. I keep my eyes on this. Help him. Help him, help him, help him. One, two, yeah. Come in, he's gonna be fine.

All right, as you guys rush up. The, uh, oh actually, it's really. Yeah, Bax is rolling. rolling down the corpse of the Hydra to stand in front of these strangers. I've rushed to Tricket Side to you from where I'm at. All right. You're right at Trinkett's side. I fly into the group.

Yeah, you fly into the group over here. I get it closer and just kind of do the Super Bowl shuffle in front of the, front of our new visitors. Like, yeah, yeah, that's what we did. Trinket Heels for 21 damage. Okay. It's charred, but okay. Who else is bad?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Okay. kind of gives you a glare. I do it again for more relaxed. I always forget about that thing. I rolled two.

He's behind the high. I couldn't see. You aren't a short rest, yeah. Because right now, as you guys are standing there, the rest of the other party is now stepping up to you. The main human you now see in armor. He has a dirty blonde short hair, a little bit of stubble on the chin.

Very, very well armored. And the armor itself looks like it's taken a beating. steps up and says All right I'm going to ask you a question What the fuck Are you doing?

Language I think we're killing a hydra? What are you doing today? Oh my contract Oh by not killing the hydra Because that's what you just did Listen we don't know what the fuck you're doing Take the hydro

We're not here for a bounty We're trying to help the city No no no No we're not we're not We want some, yeah, we need proof. We want some money. And the clerks, and takes forward and touches his shoulder for a second,

and the Federer shrugs at off and says, no, no. Skaggs that wander these lands, taking creatures from underneath those who are lawfully permitted to hunt these beasts and take that bounty and that makes you breakers of the law, Vassalheim.

I'm still invisible behind the... What's your name, sir? It turns over and looks towards you. It takes a couple steps forward, leaking off of the broken stone. stone work on this side. Aldor, that I work for the slayers take. Alvarez. Those of us that are empowered to hunt, contracted, bounty-given beasts and creatures in this land. You have gone out and laid claim to a beast that you had no lawful right to.

Well, the bastion up on the wall said we could, so that's why we did it. While all of this is going down, I'm just going to kind of casually walk over and open my little harvesting book and start harvesting some hydro blood. Where's the one who's talking about? As you attempt to do that, the mage walks up and goes, I wouldn't recommend that. You can see her an elephant face. There is a glare of

frustration and standoffishness, but is very sincere in the do not. Step closer. I'd put your hand down. You see, I had a horrible day yesterday, and unless you wouldn't end up like puppy dog here, we'll all end up in a big pile of blood unless you find a way to split your

take with us and maybe let us go or no way. You see we're new in these parts and we have a habit for killing. Who would pay you? What would mean? Where were you going to take this creature for the bounty you keep speaking of? Which one is talking? Someone? Someone's, the same human fighter. Aldo, they told us we could just kill it and then like get the heads and then bring it in and then they would give us money. We didn't think this through. Listen, let's level with you. This whole escapade was not very well thought out. We're new in town. We don't want to step on.

any toes we did you a solid we killed your thing let's calm it down and not and let's just talk shall we just tell people you killed it we helped you get the money you give us half of it we call it even otherwise we're gonna go right now he laughs to himself and looks back at the rest of them just you have to understand the Slayer's takes contracts are binding magically mm-hmm If we don't take this creature in, after dealing the killing blow, we're at an impasse would the slayers take? Why don't you, can you just, like, stab it right now?

Maybe it's, like, kind of still breathing a little bit. Can anybody heal it, and you can kill it again? The cleric steps forward, this human cleric, his older, whiteish hair. That'd work. That'd work. It steps forward, as Mesa's his side, armor, you know, currently kind of spattered with Hydra Blood, looking a little charred, but for the most part, okay.

Okay, before this gets out of hand, perhaps if you come with us to the Slayer's take, there could be a possibility of us still enacting this contract if we find a way to magically bind you to it. Now, mind you, I don't know how the funds would be legally distributed. However, if you talk to the leader of our order, perhaps, there could be some sort of a resolution to this. What kind of funds are we talking about here? What was the contract that you had been binded by? They kind of live each other and take a step back defensively and say, We don't discuss money matters out in the open where it's so easily for bodies to be hidden.

Who is this leader of yours? The one that you're looking for. Aldor is no longer talking, right? No, Sean Connery is talking now. I'm sorry. The huntmaster. That's your leader? That's your leader? I shall remember Maichael-Shalemaine.

I like it. Are you told me? No, no. No. It's okay. Not at all. He's just a idiot. Listen, we were about to come to blows. You and I are going to work this out. Words are mighty than the sword, right?

Hey. Don't ever do that again. What if we return? What if we return saying that? You had acquired our services in the killing of this beast. We were subcontracted to you, yes, yes, yes. The only way that would work is if you were contracted to the Slayer's team beforehand, which if you were to agree to be inducted.

Perhaps that would alleviate the concern. We could then write you into the contract magically, share the funds even. And you would be free to accept contracts and kill creatures at your leisure. I'm sorry. One clear, little clarification. We get paid to kill. We're not out here for fun. Yeah, I'm in.

At which point the T-flin female behind he says, Ha! Say that yourself. I'm out here for both. She can afflicts her sword and the blood, cross the ground. Like her. Are you in the company or no? or no of Siren?

How can't look at each other and... She's been on to do work with the slaves take, yes? Yeah, I'm definitely in. Introduce yourselves if you don't mind. And so that as we walk. Which point the clerics is? Take the hedge. Leave them off. We'll take them back as trophies to prove the contract is sealed.

The leader, Aldoras, is... Very well. Clean your weapons. No funny business. A single moment of your eyes, wondering into your blue. late. I don't want to have to come to blows. Oh, what will you do to us? What you did to the Hydra? Oh no, not kill us.

I really, really don't like to. Few people do. Few people do. You don't have to worry about that. We were out here helping the city for the sake of good, not earning a paycheck. So, I mean, I was going to ask for a paycheck immediately after we got back to the city. That's how you roll. It's a very, very lucrative trade. Monster Hutton in these woods,

but you have to make sure that you're certified. Otherwise, you're taking money and food out of the mouths of us and our families. Certification is key. Come on. Gather up the creature's bits. Now I'm going to start carving into the body of the hydra. Ooh, can we help you?

Now I start doing my thing. I've got the naughty bits. You don't have to, actually. The group are very, very well-trained. Cut the plus four more, take the place. And as you go to try to, the teeth thing kind of puts him down. Yes, thank you. You beat me to it.

It starts tearing pieces out. Can we have a... There's a dominant kind of a standoff here. Can I have a scale? Just one more scale. I want some stuff. It's all right. We'll get it. We'll figure it when we get there. There seems to be a general feel here that you've already broken the law enough. If you don't want to fight for it, you can.

port you can but uh let's quit while we're at yeah let's let's deal with the naughty bits later it takes about half an hour or so to reave the bits and pieces then again making your way back after you could push the remainder of the body into the pool itself kind of letting it slowly sink to the bottom well you all make your way back the path you came and kind of an awkward quiet march oh you guys set that bait out you guys killed that ape didn't you did you Alder kind of gives you the... Oh. No, we aren't the only tracker.

What gets you? Clever girl. Clever girl. Eventually, make your way back to town. Skirt around the outer wall to one of the three main gates. This one right on the outskirts of the braving... ...bring grounds. Too many quits take a raven grounds.

It's a big city. The gates open. You're all let in. First question beside of you guys, but Aldo Reza's hand and says, No, they're with us, it's fine. Hello. Leads you to the outskirts of the braving grounds

into a new area of the town you have yet to travel to. Which point he introduces? Not up into the quad roads. This is where the Slayer takes its place. This is also where the Arathis' crown lies. you'd best be paying homage to the deity of civilization law here he pulls out a small gem around his neck

with a small holy symbol and kisses it puts it back in his shirt and you guys continue walking into what is now you see now this these large roads that streak your cross and you've seen them join with the other sections this is the most central of all the various districts of the city of Vasselheim there is a very large trade bazaar

structured not that far out of the main gate that leads to the center of this district. You can see Barker shouting out left and right to you. Various phrases dealing with food and various crops and creature fresh meat. Fresh meat out of the abundance. Take us from the abundance.

And people yelling out for general goods, packs, leathers, large carts being wheeled past you. until eventually you make your way to what looks like a very old dark wood lodge about three stories high decorated with dozens of tusks, claws, and other

trophies that look as old as the building itself. The carved wooden sign stands bolted to the top of the porch that says Slayers take Guild Hall in the common tongue. Approaching the door, still that awkward quiet keeping over the group. There is an ingrained. waving into the doorway.

It's pushed into the wood that reads, Here is where the hunters gather. Keen eyes and blades it ready. We cease the unknowns cackling laughter. Our will is strong, our number's plenty. We stand against the tide of darkness. We do the deeds few men can handle. Reap forth the trophy from the carcass.

We are your strength. We are your candle. Alta does a knock in the door. The door opens. I looks through and the door swiftly opens as another individual is dressed in kind of a makeshift leather and hide armor steps aside. You're all in carrying the large hydra heads through.

There's still been gathering looks from the individuals watching you charge with the street. To the center of the room, you see what looks to be amongst the kind of loose cast-iron candelabras that are affixed to the rafters with small candles can flicker for the interior light. You see a long desk where a halfling male of muscular build sits eagerly,

rubbing his hands together. As harsh features and light scars, dotting his face and hands, his red hair showing tinge of gray, his shifting smile belies a useful vigor as you approach with the trophies. No come back. How goes that bleed and mess-headed beast,

I see you seem to have dropped it before you? Aldor takes the first head that he's carrying and chucks it to the ground as it rolls across with two large thuds, the rest of the congealed liquid kind of seeping into the wood. Well, that's true. But we bring a bit of an obstruction in the way. Thanks to the rest of you.

Obstruction, you say, okay. Well, this is a curious phrase. Please explain to me what is a garden you're outing on this contract. Alder kind of scratches the side of his face. Well, it seems that we have a couple of, by a couple, I mean a group of scags. Not intentional. Um, skags. Not intentional scags out in the forest.

intending to hunt and manage to deal the killing blow to our mark. Actually, I did that. This one did it. He wipes him of the soot off his face, amongst other issues. Sorry, my aim was off. We've come from Amman. We're not exactly familiar with the customs and traditions of your city. We were merely trying to help.

My friend may have slaughtered the Hydra, unintentionally, of course, we're hoping to somehow fit in to your society. Not sure how that works. Maybe you can help. The halfling kind of walks from behind his desk with his hands behind his back. You come from Eman, you're not familiar with Vasselheim.

Yet the first thing you do upon arriving is leap down to the Vesper Tinderaland, fighting a freaking hydra. It was attacking the wall. We were protecting me. A hydra attacking your city. We were merely following. our conscience. No, this is okay. I like the balls you all have. This is ridiculous what you've done. I have enormous balls. Yeah, we both do.

The massive. I cost fireball. I know steps away from the coming. Lady, I appreciate your breasts, but I would hope that you also act like a lady. Oh. Oh. That's a high standard. Not. Careful where you're walking, little man. All I say is, I appreciate. Yes, your bear is quite fearsome. He's got giant balls as well. He kind of reaches past and looks at the wall,

and you can see there are two dire bed, dire bear heads affixed to the wall of various Asian degrees. Well, I can say that you may have breached the contract here. There may be ways of perhaps rectifying this should you take the pledge. The pledge itself is a process, one that I myself cannot specifically judge upon, this would have to go to my boss, the headmaster, my wife.

I feel you. I will see if she is available. One moment, the Halfling kind of patters off down a hallway. That is fucking awesome. That would be amazing. Came back a few moments later. She would like to see the Skaggs now. What are Skaggs?

Do you just call us people, please? Sounds so terrible. We have a name, Box Marketer. Yeah. Perhaps we've heard of us. Remember it. You've heard of it not before. We need to be passed.

I will call you this upon you making the pledge. Until then, your group of forest-walking skags. Ah, right. You follow him in the back hallway, down past a series of doors, some kind of half open a jar. You can see there appear to be punks or rooms for rest. for rest. There are some shields and various old weapons set up as decor against the wooden hallways,

down to a large, heavy door that looks like it's actually like red leather stretched across it, nailed across all parts of the doorway with a branded symbol in the center. The same symbol that you saw adorning the, kind of the, almost like a relief behind the Slayers Take Lodge entranceway sign. As the door opens, the half-ling pushing aside, please enter, she would like to As you all step inside, the interior, a soft-going magical torch lights the room from the ceiling.

The entire room is like a large office or study. There are books and meticulously catch scrolls. A glance you can see break down various creature types that talk about indigenous, beastial creatures. Some talk about the anatomy of mythical and mystical beasts. beasts. This is a research facility for the hunting of any such creature that would find its way near or in the vicinity of Baselheim. There waiting for you, not at her desk, but leaning against it, with her hands also at her back, similar to her husband. You see before you in a very finely crafted, dark brown and black studded leather armor,

a small shoulder cloak fixed and tossed over one shoulder. A tussled short brown hair, deep purple skin, the second teethling you've seen today. This woman stands with bright white eyes, no pupil, her tongue kind of flickers out of her mouth like a snake for a moment as you enter, and she looks about the rest of the party. Please, it would be my pleasure to talk to you for a moment about what you have done this day. We're all in. Thank you, husband. Door slammed shut behind. You too make an adorable couple. Yeah, he's a peach.

It's indeed, though. Yeah, good find. Welcome, Skaggs. You seem to not be lacking this title. Skagas is an affectionate term we use for those who break our rules and would go to prison, perhaps beneath the amaranthine obliette. Well, as long as it's affectionate. We understand we've broken the letter of your law,

but perhaps not the spirit of your law, which is maybe more important. Which is why you are here and not currently being taken before the Hall of Judgment. We're very grateful. Lovely. Now, my husband said you have interfered with a contract that has already been enacted. We didn't know we were interfering with it at the time. We thought we were just doing good, and we're here to make right by that. Or tourist basically.

Which is also why you are not the Home Affairs. You also said you show interest in joining our ranks to avoid this prosecution, which I think is a very smart move. She walks by her desk and says down. should you be cut out for our work, that is. You have proven to have slain this hydra with the accompaniment of one of our roving bands of monster hunters.

They didn't do much, but yes. We're of quite capable fighters. Grog here almost won in his fight the other night. Sorry, Gron. Good job, Philip. You're the one that nearly fell the hammer, eh? I am. So you have heard of us.

Oh, show her the lip. I've heard of this one. Show her the lip. I kept a keepsake. I find trophy. Do not show him you still have that. I do not think it would go over to one. No.

Most applicants for our humble family make it maybe a month or two before the Vesper Timberlands take them. Those that remain, well, They prove worthy of our business contracts. You are all on trial by deed, under my claim and authority. Should you agree and fulfill my requested deed, you will be absolved of your infractions against the Slayer's take

and be given membership to our age-old tradition. With membership comes with access to our lodge, food, room and board, and training facilities. Simple arms can also be provided. Those that bear our insignia may also get discounted, supplies with most of Vasselheim's merchant. Well. Most importantly, though, you will then have access

to our bounty contracts. To specify, we don't just hunt beasts and creatures. A large part of what we do is harvest from our marks requested components. Blood, eyes, teeth, organs. We receive orders from all across Exandria, from as far as even the city imam of which you apparently hail from. We have a keep there.

How nice for you. Yeah. Fox Machina. Grace Goff. Perhaps. I will make a note of it, and she reached over grabs a quill and not even look at the paper, just scribbled me. We're friends with the emperor, thank you.

Well, perhaps this emperor and many of these scholars or seers, maids you've encountered, have ordered from us specifically required components, for you see the most powerful of magics and divinations acquire a focus or sacrifice of some kind. Many of these require pieces of these creatures. So many contracts are from very high-pay clients that have better things to do with their time

than wander, scathing about the forest, seeking such things as I had to them. There's a lot of money to begin. Should you be up for it? I would ask you to take a contract, complete it, and return. That is all. You would have three days to do so. Do you accept?

What's involved in signing or binding this contract? There is a small ritual that binds you to the contract. Within this time, it must be completed. Should you fail, the contract is absolved, and your membership is revoked. Oh, it's a trial just to sign the contract, just to bind the contract. Your trial is to take a contract and you have three days to complete it. Are easy? Is there a payout on this contract?

Oh, yes, you will still receive the money for it. And with membership, what I've been told by my husband, possibly even share in the bounty from this hydary, you hope to say earlier this day. That's good because otherwise, you know, they don't get any credit, right? Because it was like magically. Precisely. Yeah. There's also part of the three-day excursion for the contract three days before it is not been involved.

We've taken out a beholder and a handful of Ilet who are not really worried about your contract. Give us a contract, we'll sign it. She kind of shuckles under her breath. It is good to know. She says disbelievingly. There's an insignia that we get. Is it given to us on some sort of jacket for members only? Could it be?

She reaches to part of her shoulder paltry and lifts it up and you can see there's a brand in the side of her arm. Oh. Oh. I love that. My body's a temple. I don't like that. Then perhaps you would like the judgment.

The judgment? No, no, no. Do I have to get branded? Does that hurt much. I'm really wimpy. Gnomes. Oh shit. Three days.

Do you accept? Yes, we accept. We're totally tough. Could you do mine in Emma? I will take that as an acceptance on your part as well. Thank you. Yes, I'm with my group. Good.

Good. Now, I trust you work well as a team, but I'm curious how about you work with others. As this is a test, I will be dividing your band between two contracts. Excuse me? Two teams. Did we get to pick the teams? You, no.

Giant. Goliath. Ranger. Tinkerer. Oh. You will form the first team. What? That is bullshit.

That's what I would have chosen anyway. You will be taking your contract with a couple of other. hopeful possible members as well three days to fulfill. Oh dear. I generally don't play nice with us. Now cut-throat dragon-born vine speaker you will form the other team. Vines speaker. My bag is my bag to come with me. Fine speakers are very cool. I like that. I should get a tattoo. I should not look over our standing contracts to decide your test for tomorrow. Go. Return in the morning fed, armed and ready to set out and hopefully get affiliated with your journeymen members.

Now, be gone. I have business to do. Wait, no, we were as a pair. Maybe you don't know that about her sweet-cold. They should prove a very interesting test. You don't understand. We haven't been apart and about... Ever. Yes, exactly. Life is hard here in Vasselheim. Deal with disappointment. Oh, I'm sorry. What was your name again?

I am known as the huntmaster around these parts. But should you wish to name it is full, huntmaster, Vanessa, Sindria. Thank you. Vanessa shit, master. Don't, don't. I grab him and I start walking out of the room. Vanessa.

Go fuck yourself. Sindrio. C-Y-N-D-R-I-N. C-Y-R-I-N. Oh, that's not one at all. At all? Trindrio. In the morning, Fed, armed and ready.

Knocks the desk twice. Unhapp. Husband closes the door behind you. You take a deep breath and relax. This will be a very interesting challenge. Husband. Do you have a name other than husband? Ah.

They call me Merton, yes. Merton? Merton, Sindria. Yes. Martin, Sindriel. Well, this should be interesting. We'll set off on our journey right away then. When do we get our brand?

I suppose we've four days. After we complete the task. Oh. Keps his nose and points. You go. Catch on quick. This boats very well for you, it wasn't we joining. Have a good three days. Can we stay in the hall, the guild hall, while we're waiting? You're not numerous. Sooner, no. No one's brand has achieved, as much as you like.

All right, grog, let's go. Question, husband. Is there a way to change those little pairings that she made and perhaps get my brother around? Same team? Trust me, it's nowhere to change my wife's mind. I've tried. He walks off. And we'll conclude the session for the evening there. Look, we all know there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one happy, sad, confused. I'm Josh Harrowitzin.

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