Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 23 - The Rematch
Episode Date: November 30, 2021As Vox Machina prepares for their return to Emon, Grog demands a rematch against Kern to regain his honor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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at LifeLock.com slash Spotify. Terms apply. Now, Vox Machina, after completing the trials of the Slayers
and acquiring their marking brand as essence of them joining the actual guild itself,
meeting the Gyno Sphinx that is currently responsible, such children, responsible for the development
and the progression of the guild itself. They found themselves having Pike joined them
for about a week time while the landscape of her temple to Sarenrae
was being cleansed of a curse, and the group decided to follow through on their promise
to aid Keeleth on her Aramente to find the Pira people to the far south-west of Vasselheim.
After...
Oh, burping garlic.
Oh, garlic.
Stinking cloud over there.
You thought he wasn't a caster.
It made the way to the mountains, eventually to the actual Pira tribe itself, where they underwent a
a trial through the plane of fire, the elemental plane of fire, battled some of the druids of the pirate themselves in elemental fire form,
combated against time through a cinder storm as they attempted to do escape, managed to do so with their lives,
and in doing so, gain the blessing from the Alamente for Kielaith from the pirate tribe, as well as a blessing from their main druid as well, as a sparkstone.
And returned to Vasselheim, Pike, then Cedercos.
and said her goodbyes again, returning to help the restoration
of the Temple of Serran Ray, and you have all been left to your devices now.
So, as you all awaken the next morning within the Guildhall itself,
your journey and your path is your own to take.
We wake the next morning.
Be it check, please.
Beard check.
Zero or ten?
That's zero.
That's good.
That's good.
That's a hundred.
It depends.
That's a hundred.
Are you serious?
A second time that's happened.
Zero, zero.
All you had to have rolled was like a nine or anything other than a zero.
That's all you would have, anything.
Any other case that would be in-
If this is like second edition, the Cyclopedia Magica,
you would have just gotten like the most broken artifact ever.
You've rolled 200s.
You would have gotten a holy beard, some sort of
With a tiny methodical squeak, your pores produce,
but a few random molecules of hair-like material
that then in the air around your chair.
Is it at least rough, you know, like,
Oh, he needs to shave.
It's so rough.
That's smooth as a baby's bottom.
Well oiled.
This is a...
Fine leather, that's what your face was.
Is it still the time, it's still 24 hours since you had the feast, right?
Like, it still counts.
No, because the travel back to the town took about two and a half, three days,
so that's been long past the feast's time.
So the benefits of the hero's feast have already been washed from your system.
Could I have taken a piece with me?
Where am I?
like a piece of food.
You.
That's a very good question.
As you returned, you guys, as tired from the venture,
went to sleep, you have spent the past week or so
on my own, on your own, essentially finding one of the various
establishments in the city that can age you through your sore muscles,
through the help of feminine companionship,
or other types of companionship, whatever your preference may be.
But upon leaving, realized that your party had left,
and have been gone for some time.
And where are they?
Where are they?
Gone.
You've just now found word that they've returned
to the Slayers Take Guildhall, and you've made your way
in that direction this bright morning.
Because it's free to stay there.
Yeah, we can stay there for free.
Hello.
Oh, Scanlan!
Where have you guys been?
Where have you just missed?
Pike.
I...
What?
What?
I said that really...
Pike was here?
First thing.
That was a bit harsh, wouldn't it?
We took a field trip with her.
You were in his bones.
What are you talking about?
Why didn't you call me?
We have an earring!
You left your earring.
We have an earring!
I used it twice and you said, stop bothering me Tiberius.
Well, I...
I wish you wouldn't just don't stop bothering me.
We're hearing very weird things from the other end of that yet.
No, he definitely said my name and to tell him to stop.
You didn't lead with Pike though.
You should have said Pites here.
No, not smart.
He probably should have done that.
My bad.
Oh.
Sorry.
I mean, I was having a fun time, but I would have dropped everything to be with Pike.
Well, a stormwin likes to finish a sentence, and I apparently didn't start the sentence correctly for you to hold your attention long enough.
Don't bury the lead.
Right.
Pike first.
Always Pike first.
Right.
Sorry.
I wasn't even in a brothel.
I was...
I walked toward the brothel, but then I bumped into Zara, remember?
Zara.
Oh, yeah.
She invited me over.
We talked all night.
One thing led to me.
another, nothing untoward, but we just had a nice slumber party. It was lovely. It was me and a couple of teaflings. Three, I think. We were doing each other's hair, telling stories, playing songs. It was wonderful.
Can I roll to see if he's bullshitting?
You can go ahead and make a, uh, this would be an insight.
Yeah, Grog, inside check, modifier is zero. That's a nine.
You are enthralled by his tail. Your elbows are on the edge.
of the bed spread right now, your hands, clasped.
My feet behind me, Chris Grosick.
You're this close to like a breakdown from Greece.
It's pretty fantastic.
Tell me more, it's love you.
It was great. We had a great PG night.
That sounds lovely.
Sounds like exactly what you did.
You know, that sounds like a wonderful time.
It's all right that you were.
Yeah, except I would have dropped everything to come
to see the woman I love, the one of my dreams,
the woman I will marry and bear children with.
Wow.
I don't know if she'll bear mine or I don't know if I've ever heard you say that out of
yes how does it work with Nones and presses it's tricky as I've ever seen a
known birth before well do you never know would it help if there were trolls oh
don't get me to start all right so if there were trolls it would be better that you
missed everything there weren't there weren't trolls but if they had been it would
have been best we're all together again we got to meet my family wait what I
missed everything I missed a couple of
What did you do for all the days we've been gone now?
This was a long slumber party.
We just kept going and going.
At one point I was like, okay, I'll see you.
Oh, there's another meal.
Okay, I'll stick around for another day.
And we just kept going and going.
Did you do nails and?
We did, not my hands, just my toenails.
Oh, good.
All right.
We braided hair.
We just, we connected.
That's wonderful.
That's nice.
Connected.
Connected.
Well, at least we're all back.
We can get on the flying carpet and go somewhere fun, right?
Oh.
Well.
What?
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Who wants to, who wants to?
Scamon, you've missed everything.
Maybe we should let Keyliff explain where the flying carpet went to Skagit.
Yes, Keyleth. Where is the flying carpet?
Why do I have to explain it?
You're right, Tiberius. Where did the fly?
It's right here. I open my bag of holding.
holding. It just, it just doesn't fly anymore. You have a bag of holding? Yes. I went to
Duconia for like two minutes and picked one. That's really far. Well, I teleported.
You know, I did the thing. I went there, came back. So they killed the carpet. It lives no
more. I might have a solution. They also spent a lot of money. Well, but hey, they didn't
die and that's a good thing. Yeah. And we fought a devil. A demon. Whoa. The devil. The devil.
No, just a rachossoe.
It seems that an enormous amount of alcohol has given you some perspective.
I'm very proud of you. Not done.
Yes.
Thank you.
Well, thank you for catching me up, fellows.
Really?
One night is all it takes for me.
One night is all it should take.
Yes.
What are we doing now?
That is a good question.
I have a suggestion, but first I'm going to bring up Larkid and Kielis.
Do you think you could...
You've missed everything, fellow.
What?
I was gone for like a d'clock.
Hey! There's a trap.
I'm gonna take him out of this cage.
I'm gonna put him on the table here.
He's got puppy breath.
Oh, yes you do.
It is.
Slightly worse than puppy breath, but I guess comparable.
Like, will you hear him a poison?
Meaty.
He's diseased of sorts.
Dead squirrel.
Maybe see if you could perhaps use your medicine
strengths to see what the problem is.
I mean, the hero's feast would have worked.
Yes, I know. That's why I asked earlier as the other guy.
We did not have him with us then?
As the other guy.
We didn't have him with us when we had the feast?
No, I thought he was with you, but it was not specified, but he did not eat.
You didn't think of him at the time?
I said I fed him, but I didn't say what I fed him.
So.
I have a strange thought again.
When was the last time we went home?
Well, okay, here's the thing.
If we're going to go home, I'm on.
We'll have to wait a redstone.
Gray skull.
Right, if we're gonna go home, I would really, really, really like to stop by...
And pick up our money.
Yes.
I think that's a very reasonable.
I think a thousand gold on the way.
I say we're going to leave, could I make a small request?
You want to try again, don't you?
I have a bit of a chip on my shoulder.
Oh!
Would you mind terribly if I maybe went out to the street and picked a fight?
Just one little fight, are you gonna fight?
Just pit, wait, go on the street.
You're not gonna chase down what's his, what?
I want Kern.
Okay, we're gonna go find Kern.
Are we gonna go find Kern?
Are we gonna go find Kern and do this?
Hang on, hang on.
Are we gonna go find Kern and do this with rules
or are you gonna do this without rules?
Without rules, you would win.
You would win without rules.
I can't do it, I have to do it by the rules.
So you're gonna go to the crucible again.
Yeah, but just, is there like a tabber?
downstairs or any kind of like anywhere that have cups or wine skins or?
Within the Guild Hall there is a kind of a mess hall area that near a kitchen would have cups,
but it's not like a full tavern.
Do you have a tavern?
Do you have a wine skin or anything?
Oh yeah, no problem.
Excuse me?
Do you have a wine skin?
Oh, I'm sorry. I was waiting on my first request before.
Oh, what was your first request?
To see if Keyleth could do anything.
I was waiting for a break of conversation.
Oh, thank you.
Oh, thank you.
What are you asking?
Can I do a check to see if I can tell what Lockheed has, like what kind of disease?
Sure. Go ahead.
Make a medicine, Jake.
Oh, that kid's sick.
Ooh.
Oh.
21.
Looking at Lockheed, he's cute.
One of time.
Looking at Lockheed, you get the feeling that his disease essentially comes from a continuous time period of poor meat being presented as a meal option.
It's less of a magical or any sort of a natural disease.
It is just something that is passing through a system.
Amaciated?
Like, things?
too emaciated more than just some bad meat is found its system, which means without treatment
over time, his health could diminish. However, if the food you've been feeding him has been
a decent level of discontinued it might clear, it could be aided through the use of simple
healing salves and or natural remedies.
Before we go on your pummeling journey, Grohl, which I fully support.
Can I make a few good berries for him and feed him a few more good berries?
Sure.
Why not great berries?
Well, I guess that's matter of opinion.
Percy.
As far as the matters of the hand, I, of course, Grog, encourage your violence.
And Talison, I do like the idea of going back to him on.
Who?
Who did you just...
Broke.
And then you just...
You just MPC'd me.
Sorry, you just MPC'd me all over the plague.
I was sorry, I was speaking draconic again.
Percy.
That's draconic for my man.
How did...
My mother's name, please.
No, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I get... No, that's not your mother's name.
It's not my mother's name.
No, she wasn't well.
Carry on.
She was your mother's name.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Percival.
I go over to Percival and I'm going to give him a hug.
Oh, God.
Sorry, I'm skating.
It's all right.
We didn't touch in my family.
Go ahead.
I like the idea of going back to him on.
But before that, I do believe we should go back to Craghammer
and collect our gold.
Did we say that already?
We did.
Wonderful.
I was concerned about Lockwood here.
So much.
What's to do.
I'm going to put him on my shoulder.
Did you say you encourage my violence?
Of course.
I take up running out of the room.
Abounding, poof.
Oh, that's high.
You have to be careful.
You have to be responsible.
Was there a window in the room?
No, not to do that.
You're going to do that.
You're going to do a loony tune's hole in the wall.
So as Grog bounds off into the distance.
You guys skip chase?
Yes.
Yes.
After you get out into the main thoroughfare.
We really need to.
make that leash for him like we said we were going to.
As you make your way into the main thoroughfare,
you look over and you catch the image of the distant Goliath
heading northward towards the braving grounds,
just plowing through the crowd.
You see a couple of people that are knocked flat on
of their ass, kind of like head shaking.
What just happened as he just goes bounding into the distance?
Follow the trail of distrust people.
I give chase, I give myself fly so I can go over the crowd easily.
Shh!
As you glide over the crowd.
you can see a few bastions glance up and kind of narrow their eyes and begin whispering
to themselves to keep it's fine it's fine it's fine oh I realize what I'm doing
and I stop you come to a slow gliding I keep forgetting it's like
it's going on your tombstone as I realize what I'm doing and I stop as you as you
enter the group you perceive less than him that there are now in less than five
bastions that are keeping about a 30 foot distance walking and falling behind
Tiberius oh oh I go up in nine
I tell Tiberius,
maybe it's best just to keep a low profile for a while.
I keep forgetting.
And I turn around and wave at the bastions.
It's all right, he's from him on.
As soon as you wave and make that interaction,
they break off in a group of two and three
and just go in two different directions
and disappear into the crowd.
Cool, well, that was fun.
Hunters mark one of them.
Yeah, hunters mark one of them.
Did they feel that?
Oh wait, yeah, can they feel that?
Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check on this.
Oh, gosh, wait, which one should I roll for us?
Watch on.
I'll roll this one.
Okay.
How'd out.
Just a beacon on their heads.
Oh, natural 20, what?
Oh, what?
The first roll.
No, wait.
You're the anti-weedin as of late.
It's kind of amazing.
All right.
Yeah.
You hunters mark one of the bastions who wanders off in the crowd,
and you have a very, very good idea of where him
and or the cluster that's with him is moving.
As you guys progress following this path of grog is carving through the crowd, heading through the main bizarre area at the center of the Quad Roads District,
heading kind of northwestern up into the braving grounds of Vasselheim.
You can also sense that they are following, though, at a good 60-foot distance, kind of keeping an eye on the red-scale dragon born that then flew out into the open air, the midday sun.
With his tinier dragon, his very meta, dragon-on-dragon action.
You can need you pushing it into the Braving Grounds area.
And you can see now the giant black smokestacks that are billowing up from the various blacksmithies.
And there's a large industrial iron complex that is used in the mining and reforming of all the weapons and armor that go to the most of the bastions in the city here in the Braving grounds.
You make your way up towards the Bellows Respite Inn to where the crucible itself is held in the center.
As you approach, it is midday.
There's no crowd gathered.
The crucible is currently emptied and kind of left on its own.
You kind of glance about for a second, and there's nobody here running any sort of fight ring.
Oh, damn it. I'll have to come back.
What do we get to be?
Kern!
Kahn!
As we're shouting it into the air, like people nearby kind of...
But the Star Trek reference is coming.
People around you started glancing it back.
I was. Yeah. What is named to have the card? It's fun.
Yeah, it.
Nearby individuals kind of drop their stuff and look over as this billowing, deep, Goliath voice fills the air on the center of this
mildly, you know, business as usual, road vicinity.
Suddenly a few individuals come looking out
from the inside the Bell's Respit Inn.
This is kind of a tavern portion to the front,
one of which is once lucky Ned,
who is the person who runs the tavern.
He's like a human bar keep that wanders out and,
Hugh, Philip,
are yelling Kern.
And you see this look in his face like,
Bring me the body of Kern.
Alive, alive.
He wants to fight him.
He cocks his head a little bit at you.
Just a moment, stay right there.
And he runs back inside.
It's going to be a street fight.
Oh, God.
I hear Scamlin say that, and I run out and I say,
fight!
At this point, other members of the tavern are starting to come out,
tankards in hand, like here, what's going to?
Let's see you, oh, oh!
It's gonna be a fight at the crucible!
You hear the shouts going off in the nearby house?
It's like echoing, like town crier to town crier.
You're hearing voices echo throughout the entirety of the braving grounds
and people preparing for this midday, unexpected sudden throwdown.
At this point, you see a few of the bastions wearing the armor that is as geared towards a cord,
the god of strength, that runs this portion of the vassum.
I'm like the ones that I'm keeping an eye on or a different one?
No, the ones that you're giving an eye on were from the quad roads,
and they're still staying back.
The one that you've marked is around the corner, just kind of keeping an eye on everybody,
but he's kind of making it to himself.
He does stand out like a sore thumb because his armor is darker and based around Arathus,
whereas here the bastions that are kind of under Chords' vision have more of a red, kind of dark,
almost rusty look to their armor.
Anyway, as the shouts continue, some of the core bastions can gather, one of which you recognize
is the one who was acting as the bookie, the first time you came to the, you came to the
to the crucible.
And he looks, his eyes are kind of wiping sleep from his eye.
Looks like he just got into his armor
and rushed out here over about 10 minutes
since you first came out here and shouted your challenge
to the sky.
He kind of rushes out for a second.
You!
You!
Marty, it properly that you are challenging.
Our standing champion once again.
Aye, you heard right.
Midday, now, near the noonday sun.
Aye, where everyone can see and he can hide.
He glances over to another bastion that's to his left.
Good Kern. No.
He rushes off and kind of looks back to you.
Well then, a fight we're gonna have.
Oh boy.
At this point now, there's probably about 20, 25 people
that have began to gather around the outskirts of the crucible or around you.
You're going, Hoxah! It's Philip.
Philip's showing down with Kern.
There's all these different whispers now going throughout the crowd as the rest of you kind of gather.
The bashing that you've been following kind of backs off and stay
further back and it's like slowly keeping a distance further away as the crowd begins to gather, not wanting to stay.
I wanted to say you can speak you with amongst all this chaos and rabble you guys have collected.
I joined in with everybody else.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you see that?
Current's fighting.
Why are you telling me this?
Of course I'm trying to find.
You're trying.
No.
I want to-
You need time to pass off.
Maybe make a friend.
Can I try to pass off suddenly my ray of AC?
Anyone but us?
No.
No.
They're doing fine.
You have.
They're doing fine.
You're doing it's a good.
Don't make a new friend.
No.
You've got enough.
You do not.
On the ring, does it say a two minutes required?
No.
It doesn't, I don't think, hold on, let me look.
I can look it up for you.
Need be.
Ring of protection.
Yeah, my belt of Dwarming Kind is the only thing, but that's all.
It just says plus two bonus to AC and saving three.
Oh, requires a team.
So you have to take time to go ahead and entombing the magical item.
Unfortunately, that's all right.
That's all right.
That you shouldn't have taken off running.
About 20 minutes.
The three minutes pass by as the crowd has now gathered about 50 to 60 people. Apparently word of your last battle has gotten around and now there's this fevered pitch of interest. People have dropped what they're doing and the smokestacks. You can see I've slowly turned to a dribble as everyone who's working the nearby forges and or smelting irons have all rushed out to here to see this battle and drop what they're doing. This is turned into full-on, you know, Morpheus's fight in Neo.
I turn to the bookkeep and I take out my entire coin purse and I have
Throw it at him.
I use my hand.
My badge hand.
You don't use magic.
Oh no, I don't.
I don't do that.
We back him on the head before he starts to do the hands.
I stole it.
I throw him the coin purse and I say, I expect to see that.
Double when I get out.
And I jump into the pit before Coney even arrives.
Okay.
You lead down as the whole crowd goes,
this series of shouting screens surround the air around you.
He grabs the coin purse.
How much isn't that coin purse?
According to this, it's a level.
Well, that's the...
What?
11,000?
Personal funds?
Your personal funds, not what's in the bag of holding.
1,363.
1,363.
Okay, gold pieces.
That's normal.
We should just start charging admission at the door.
He probably has more than that.
I run up to the, there's a bookie here.
There is a bookie.
I run up to him very subtly say,
I'd like 100 against Grog, please.
Okay, he looks out and he and says,
Not bad.
Going with the odds.
Three to one against him.
Just don't.
It's three to one.
If I win, maybe I'll collect later.
I have 600 gold pieces.
You don't hear this, because he's talking about.
I'll collect later.
Don't, don't say it.
I'll tap out.
You got this, Scrogg!
You got this.
Good chap, I would like to place a bet.
500 gold pieces on Philip.
On to Philip.
All right.
I'm going to break my bank in follow suit
to my human friend as well.
612 is.
Well, is I think all I have left.
You have my only good at certain.
What is what the point of the point?
At this time, you can see the crowd now gets a little more hushed.
People are like, oh, whoa, whoa.
And you see, you don't see this because you're down in the crucible.
You guys see as in the distance the crowd,
which is probably gathered to close to 70 plus people,
begins to part.
And you see walking over, soot smeared across the front of his face,
stepping up as Curne the Hammer,
bristled half-forg mustache, a little bit tosseled
from a day of hard work, sweat,
glistening off the top of the top of the
of his brow, a shamed.
There's a facial hair.
Oh, he's missing a lip.
Oh, that's true.
Was it healed?
As he approaches, you can see, I mean, there has been some healing through the quick work of the clerics that worked after the last battle.
However, there is definitely a section of his upper lip that is permanently missing, looking almost like a half-cliff palate.
You can see beneath it, his sneering yellowed teeth, kind of grinding as he approaches the crucible.
I believe in you, Philip.
No.
No.
I'm going to bet.
You're gonna bet?
I'm gonna bet. I'm gonna put 600 on Philip.
Whoa.
So we, and this betting thing is enjoyable?
No, it's not, it's a gamble.
Like what we do with our lives constantly.
It feels bad.
It's terrible.
So why do we do it?
So we can make more if we win.
And plus it's giving faith in our friend.
Yes.
It's a symbol.
It's inspiration.
Five gold on Philly.
No, more than, no, no, five gold.
That's an excellent bet.
Five gold.
I mean, sure.
That is an excellent bet, cute.
Thank you.
Is that what we're?
See how it feels when you are.
Vax stands behind you.
Okay.
Yes.
I'll stand behind your time.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
And keeps his gold purse of himself.
At this point, the crowd kind of separate.
Everyone's kind of this tension mounting.
Everyone's eyes are on Kern as he steps up to the edge of the crucible.
You now notice the dark figure.
The noonday sun is now high in the sky and you can see, but a little bit of the shattered outline of Kern.
Muscle bound looming over the edge of the crucible.
You hear a voice call down to you.
Low and gravelly.
and familiar.
You.
You like the gift I sent you.
I reach into my belt,
and I pull out his upper lip,
and I give it a smell.
I say, I've enjoyed it very much.
I've come to collect the rest,
and I fling it into the pill.
It's the ground.
You're not wearing the metal.
A shame, really.
I thought you'd be more proud of your status.
Leaps down in the pit right before you.
Burn.
Burn.
As everyone's kind of gathered around, people are now swarming the bookie, like handing gold left and right.
He's making notes in those little ledger out of his pocket.
People are beginning to gather around and crush against the outsides of the crucible.
Some people being careful almost be pushed in.
At this point in time, now Kern's kind of glaring at you, and you guys are slowly circling each other.
You've been training, I see.
So have I.
Oh no.
He goes and takes his wine skin pop up to the top.
Oh!
Surely a man of your stature would honor me by sharing a drink before this battle.
He takes... throws you the wine skin.
How much is left in there?
About a third. You're clutching in your hand and he's staring at you intently.
I don't drink such paste water.
I pour it out, I take out my own wine skin that I filled with the stone giant strength.
Yes!
And I chug it down.
He's juicing!
He's juicing!
Oh!
Shit!
Oh!
You see him kind of like snarl to the side as he toss his wine skin to the ground, you chug your own.
It tastes very heavily.
This is Frost Giant strength you said?
Or the Stone Giant, yeah.
Yeah.
The Stone Giant.
It tastes very heavily of like black charcoal, dust, grit, and the actual liquid itself has
a very, very gravelly texture.
It goes on your throat.
You can feel chunks getting caught, but you just push through and continue gulping it.
It's thicker like a molasses than it is an actual liquid.
You finished off, toss it to the side.
Go ahead and mark your increase to strength for this.
I got it down already.
All right.
You came prepared.
No.
I'm gonna need a montage.
You toss your wineskin to the side.
The bookie, you hear now, raise his hand.
All here in attendance.
That's us.
We have here in the crucible this day
a rematch of Titans.
The standing champion
of all the braving grounds of Vasselheim.
Kern, the hammer.
The crowd should be.
Come on, Kern!
Come on, Kerr!
The copper, silver and gold pieces.
The ground around you, Grog, you guys should stay intensely locked in that warrior glare.
Challenging him, once again, tail between his legs intent on claiming his glory.
Returning to the crucible, Philip!
No!
No!
No, Philip is dead.
There is no Philip.
There is only Grog, the vengeful.
Yeah!
Around the outside of the community,
you now see the entire crowd,
the energy itself is electric in the air.
Eyes are intense and bloodshot.
Everyone is looking down into what is about to be,
hopefully, a drag-out, throw-down fight.
You feel the rippling strength
of your stone giant elders tearing through your body
as the muscle tense, you flex,
and you hear with each muscle tensing
and the popping of bones and sinew
as you prepare yourself for this.
As you're doing this, you see across the way,
Kern cracks his knuckles,
and you can see now the giant scar from his snarling lip.
You realize he hasn't been snarling this whole time.
It's just the natural state of his current smile.
And then he snarls.
Oh.
That's disturbing.
And the gums themselves, black and purple,
peering out from underneath his upper lip that he once destroyed.
I'm gonna take yours this time, boy.
Enough words, toothless.
Let's do this.
Roll initiative.
Oh, God.
Tad, Tud, Tud, Tud, Tud, Tud, Tud, Tud, Tid, Tid, Tid, Tid, Tid.
I get it.
Music change.
20.
Nice.
I love you, literally.
Bum, bop, b, b, b, b.
Hey, how did you have that ready?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Witchcraft!
Wrenchcraft!
Oh, he had it ready.
I keep all my stuff at the ready, just in case.
God.
All right.
That predictable.
Using special dice.
I have a whole cluster over here.
That prepared.
All right.
Okay.
So what did you get for initiative total?
20.
18 plus two.
Papers just literally more perfect.
Like clusters and clusters and maps that are the used or unused all times.
Just pile.
Everywhere.
All right.
This is a D&M cave.
Give you a buck on the dictionary.
Organizational systems.
All right, as you're prepping for the circumstance,
you're up first, Skrog.
You have initiative.
I race towards Kern, and I ducked down
as if I'm going to go into a form tackle towards his waist.
I take a step to the side at the last second
and wrap around my arms around his waist from behind,
pick him up to DDT him over my shoulder.
Oh!
The DDT!
DDT!
Yes, DDT!
Okay.
For this, go ahead and make an athletics check.
Oh, God!
You do this?
25.
25.
18 plus that.
I've been waiting for this day.
Boof!
He rolled 23, 15 plus 8.
So you rush up behind.
He goes in for the faint, attempts to parry it.
However, you vanish from the side.
He feels the arms wrap around him and he reaches down instinctly to try them, try them away, but it's too late,
as you lift him up off of his back and...
Wack! Send him onto the ground. Go ahead and roll 1D2 plus your strength modifier.
D2? What?
D2?
What? Was 1d4 divided by 2? Or you can use your coin?
Six.
Six. All right. So he took the damage. There's no attacks this round currently.
However, he is currently prone.
He is prone.
No, Prong!
I just slammed them onto the ground and releasing me.
Falls to the ground. You hear it.
to the ground, you hear this exhale of pain.
All right, you also have a bonus action still.
That's right.
With that action, I would like to go into,
does it take an action to rage?
Takes a bonus action for you to rage.
Which is what this is.
Yes.
I would like to rage.
Yes!
And with that, as you see his form crumpled on the ground,
he gets up to one knee and again standing up,
kind of wiping off a little bit of the dust
that's been smeared across his slobbered chin.
You look down at him,
and the skylight, the light that's pouring down
into this from the sun that was once white and yellow in tone
now turns to red as your eyes focus on your quarry before you.
That ends your turn.
Kern takes to current, uses half movement to stand up.
Looks at you and kind of gives this kind of chuckle.
This early then, so be it.
Bites the edge of his wrist and tears a chunk
of his own flesh off the side of his arm.
He uses his bonus action to rage.
Oh, shit.
Goes into his frenzied rage as well.
And it's just come at you with both fists.
One thing you noticed, strangely,
Kern, who previously just seemed to throw haymakers at you before attacks,
goes into a stance.
Oh, shit.
He mullered up.
He mucked up!
He moked up!
He moks up!
And just goes into swing two heavy fists at you.
That is going to be a...
Can he hear you?
Is he 24?
I see 24.
That hits.
And, ooh, that is gonna be a 27.
Yeah, that would have.
All right.
First hit is nine points of damage.
Okay.
Second one is eight points of damage.
You got nine points of damage?
Yeah.
And just for those who are paying attention,
they're both raging, they both take a half damage,
but since they're both doing it, we're just negating both abilities
of the ways this battle would take for three hours.
So, whack, whack, these fists you see as they hit you,
they're not just extremely strong and powerful previously,
but they're hitting precise air,
where you feel the muscle and bone is less resistant.
There is technique to these punches that was not there before.
No, grove.
No problem.
No problem.
Got it.
Just don't forget your shit.
Just going to dodge to the side here.
Just kind of dave dodge off to the side.
He prepares himself fiss ready for defensive action.
It's your go.
All right, right.
I would like to enter a frenzied rage.
And I would like to, since he moves off to my side,
I see him move and I throw a back fist.
into the concave area of his nose.
Okay.
Oh!
That's where it stings.
23.
23 hits.
It says,
Motherfucker.
Six.
Six damage?
Yes.
All righty.
I would like to then reach forward
as he's reeling back from that hit with both of my thumbs and throw him towards his eyes.
Blind that.
Oh!
Go ahead.
You attempt to blind.
Yes.
All right, so what this is going to be, is this going to be for your second attack?
kind of a loose grapple, and we'll see if you can manage to push forward from that point.
So go ahead and make an athletics check.
14.
14. That is going to be a 16 on his end, unfortunately. As you reach up, he slaps the hands away.
His defensive posture, he was ready for that sort of advance and just knocks him to side with a grin.
You do still have a bonus action if you wish to use it.
If he knocks it aside, I take my right leg and I throw it to the outside of his kneecap trying to snap his ACL or MCL.
Okay, go ahead and roll for the attack on that.
That's a 27.
27 does indeed hit.
Why didn't that have it before?
That's a seven.
Seven points of damage.
Yes.
Ooh, all right.
All righty.
As he plus pushes your hands out of the way,
you whack a resounding snap sound as your foot hits the side of his thigh.
His leg muscles himself are like a tree trunk and takes most of the impact of the damage.
You see the pain in his face.
His grin gives away to a sudden grimace.
of pain. Your leg is now held in place. He resisted the full force of the blow to some physical
damage himself, but not enough to knock the knee out. This does push. Do you want to move
at all? You're going to stay where you are.
I would like to move to his, flank his right side.
Already. Put him in a body bank!
Move over to that. It comes to his turn as you're moving to the side. He spins around
this time. You have not seen him yet use his legs to this extent to a full back roundhouse
kick towards your head.
Don't move.
That is going to be a 20?
That hits.
It hits.
Okay.
Second attack is going to be a 19.
That hits.
Next attack is going to be a 12.
No, 13, 13.
That misses.
Okay.
So the roundhouse kick swings around.
Completely unexpected as you pull to the side.
It smack hits you right square in the side of the face and jaw.
You take, that it's going to be seven points of damage.
Okay.
And as you're reeling from that, he brings the leg back.
back, jumps in the air, and does a secondary jump-side swiping kick to the other side of your
head as you're kind of loosening of the side, whack, whack!
Second one doing eight points of damage.
All right.
That's going to, he's going to go ahead and move slightly over here.
China, basically getting you up against the wall.
He's like situating himself now, or since you move to the side, he's putting you in this kind
of pinch your formation between the wall and himself.
That ends his turn.
You're up.
He just came back from a concession.
I see you've been taking some
ballet, a very coach you W.
And I rush forward.
He's, I'm between him and the wall.
You are between him in the wall, yes.
I love this arena.
I get up on Trinket's shoulders and share.
Tricket roars with you.
This roar of victory, which people around
immediately take two steps away from the large bear
that's suddenly now roaring in the center.
You guys are unfazed too focused on the other.
Everybody churroes.
I rush up and get him, give him a little nasty.
you the last time for a double thunder clap to either side of his ears.
Ooh, okay.
That is 13.
13, unfortunately, as you go to swing, he ducks out of the way in your hands,
slap into each other, finding no purchase on his head.
That's all right. Since I didn't find any purchase, I'll see where his ears are, try and grab them,
and I'm an attempt to rip his ears off of his head.
Oh, wow.
His nice porn he is.
Okay, so your second attack is going to be to try and grab his ears.
Okay, let's go for it.
16.
16, no.
As he roll up for the one ear, he parries it to the side of his hand.
Third attack.
Jesus.
14.
14.
Knocks them out of the way.
As you swinging at him, he seems to just be dodging me out of the way,
he still has the force behind him, but whatever he's picked up now is completely throwing you off.
You weren't prepared for a bruiser.
You've now seen, still a bruiser, but with a little more refined technique, and it's throwing you off your game.
You need to resettle your game.
You need to pull yourself in, Grog.
However, in that moment of thinking, he swings at you with a double pummel towards the torso.
That is a natural 20.
Oh, fuck.
That is going to be a 13.
Oh, miss.
This is yours, I believe.
And that's going to be a nine.
Sorry, a 10.
Okay.
So first one hits, second he misses.
The first one comes through and smacks you right in the center of the stomach with a double hit.
That's, ooh.
That is 14 points of damage.
I would like to use my stone's endurance to...
Go for it.
Okay.
At that point, as the punch hits your stomach, you flex, feeling the strength of the mountain,
kind of fill your body, your ancestral roots of your stone giant brethren, fill your form.
That's 16.
16. As the fist, boom, finds inside of your stomach, the iron-like form that is your torso just stops his fist in its place.
I'm gonna pull away, shaking his hand.
As he shakes away, he brings up his other hand to backhand you.
You just duck out of the way.
He swings with a kick around with the momentum,
and you just catch it in the middle of the air.
So we're gonna start your turn with you now holding his leg up by the side of your head.
Oh, fantastic.
I'll keep that leg up in the air.
Bring it off like a chicken!
I'll move it over to my shoulder.
Put both my hands up and bring it down on top of his kneecap,
hyper flexing their leg.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Better, 26.
Yes.
Uh, that's eight.
Eight damage, all right.
Maybe we can start a chant for inspiration.
Yeah, can we?
All right?
Right.
Wrong.
That's your first attack.
Wrong.
The knee, the knee,
a normal human's leg would have hyper-extended,
but the sheer size of muscle in this is comparable to your own,
and you feel it definitely hurt, and there is a yelp out in pain,
but it's not enough to fully pop the leg back.
What's your matter, Ballerina?
I thought you should be stretched out and ready for this,
and I reached back and I drive my feet.
fished into his nut sack.
Oh, the second attack.
That's a bad.
25.
Definitely hits.
Go and roll damage down then.
Oh my god, a grime.
Eight, my first eight.
Nice.
That should...
Second eight, actually. You've already rolled.
Oh, that's right. That's right. Thank you.
I'm gonna argue that that should be doubled because it's a...
And you're adding all your bonuses?
Yeah, I'm adding everything I have.
Pern is one of those individuals that has had his nuts kicked enough time in his life
to know the pain well and be prepared for it.
So as you come down,
Slame it right in two years.
This almost wolf-like screeching howl
as Kern's head lifts up in severe a pain.
His hands come down and grasp your wrist
and is now holding it, trying to pull it away
from his midsection.
He's in a very bad situation right now.
With that last one, can I take my right leg
and in an effort to shoot for that same knee
I've been kicking at?
Aim for the knee or sweep his feet.
Sure, go for it.
That'll mess.
It's 13.
13.
As you pull back to sweep, Kern uses this
disadvantage to bring up the other leg that you haven't hit, plant it right on your shoulder
or neck area, and then push off your body. As you sweep underneath, he leaps backward, flipping
in the air, lands on both of his kind of clutching the inside of his groin area, like,
shaking off the pain to the anger. So he leaps back to here.
As that's happening, we all start a chant.
Grog, grog, grog, grog, grog, grog, grog, grog. As they're chanting, I'm starting to sing
amid the chant, it's the eye of the Goliath,
it's the thrill of the fight, rising up
to the challenge of that asshole.
And I'm trying to send inspiration to him.
With that, you hear through the fury, through the anger,
that the chant, your real name, not Philip now,
your real name, reclaimed in the center of this,
this approving point, in the center of the oldest
known city to civilization under the visual guidance of the god
strength and valor. And through all that, you hear the gentle hymn.
Stanlon's voice cut through all that and come to you with a beat, a rhythmic beat that
drives you forward. Go ahead and take a detent inspiration.
Now Kern, having land on his feet, rushes forward towards you and first using his bonus
action is going to go ahead and reach down for a very deep uppercut. It looks like he's
coming in for a left and sweeps down to try and take you from underneath, breaking through
your defense.
That is going to be a 20.
That is.
You take 10 points of damage.
Jesus.
Right to the chin from underneath for the bonus action.
Kern then comes back, and you used to like an unleashed flurry.
Kern, however, comes back into a fully defensive position, riding his hands and leg on kind of a backward stance, and it's just looking at you, ready for you to come.
It's using his action to go into a dodge.
It's now your turn.
Oh, wait, so he gets some sort of advantage?
All attacks against him have disadvantaged this next one.
Come on.
Wait, against him?
You really make the arm!
He meant for, no, advantage.
Because balls.
Nope.
Damn it.
Yeah, the balls doesn't give like advantage.
No, he has tough nuts, never mind.
Oh, he has tough nuts.
He has the feet toughness, which I think really resists any sort of ball damage at this point.
Tough nuts.
That's what toughness just roll well.
In an effort to keep my distance, I run towards him, I jump up in the air and throw one thrust kick towards the side right towards his chest, just to just to just to hold up.
towards his chest just to see what his defense will do.
Go for it.
With a disadvantage, so roll twice.
Oh, God, mother bitch.
That was a natural 20, but that's 19.
19. Total 19?
Total 19.
That just barely hits.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Can I add the inspiration to the, no, just to the roll?
No, just to the roll, not to the damage.
That is an eight.
An eight, all right.
Because a half of three is one and a half we're rounding up.
Okay, so three and four is a two considered in one.
Right, so eight, yeah.
Alrighty.
All right.
So you rush up, whacks him and he puts the defense out and tries just really to push to the side.
However, his defense is imperfect.
You can see he's still new to this fighting style,
and you still manage to push through through sheer force and slam him
into the side of his torso, pshh from the impact.
I leap forward again and try and throw my thumbs into his eyes.
Okay, you're going for the blind again.
for the blind again.
And roll for attack on this with the disadvantage.
21.
Oh.
15.
15.
Oh, wait.
Oh, wait.
Oh, no.
If you want to use it.
Yes.
That's a 22.
That's a 22.
Oh, so you'll just fall off.
Rush for to grab.
So you have hold of his head now.
There's no damage to this round, but you're enabling yourself now for the rest of the round to attempt to push into his eyes.
See the Matrix now, bitch.
So there's no damage on this one.
You grab this head of his head and he's head.
You see his eyes kind of open with this like a little fear and expected ferocity from you.
Go ahead and make an athletics check now.
Come on, go on, go on, go on, go.
Big money.
Yeah.
24.
24, he rolled a 19.
Go ahead and do damage on this.
Just go and roll for damage.
Dirk-dick-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-.
With the four?
Mm-hmm.
Six.
Six.
Six.
All right.
All right.
All right.
So as you have all of his head, you grin, as your thumb's
push into his eyes, he yells out in pain, and before you can damage the eyes permanently, he
slaps off of your hands so hard with such an intense frosty that you can't help but feel
your actual force to be blown back. However, he's clutching the side of his face, and for the next
round he has blinded.
Yeah!
Can I move?
You can move as well.
I just back straight up.
Back at the swing.
He currently doesn't threaten you because he's blinded, so you can rush past him without getting him an attack of opportunity.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Yeah, I'll move along the wall to his left side.
Over here?
Yes.
To there?
Yes.
Okay.
The back up.
The backup will just a little bit.
Okay, gotcha.
Okay, gotcha.
I don't.
All right, so, as you dush, dodge off at the side, Kern's grabbing his face.
Ugh.
And Crench takes a moment to listen.
Oh, Jesus.
Here's your footsteps along the side.
As, you know, there's no stealth to this, there's his footprint.
However, Kerne does his footprint.
attempt to sidestep over is going to attempt to make three strikes at you with a
disadvantage on all of them because currently blinded.
All right, you seem to be rolling pretty high.
You could use the dice that I threw.
And rolls against them advantage as well.
All right, so attack against you is going to be, that is going to be a 14.
Misses.
Natural 20 or an 8.
So it'll be 16.
Okay, and this is.
Nice.
19 and a 19.
Third one does hit.
So, wide punches forward,
you just, like they're a foot away from you.
You just kind of chuckle, hitting out of the way.
And as you chuckle, he hears that for a moment,
his mind clarifies, even though his eyes are closed,
with the trickle of the blood off the side of one of the eye.
He immediately goes into a faster than you expected
midsection punch that, whack, smacks you right in the middle
of your laughing stomach.
Because you're laughing, there is that tension,
but it wasn't flex prepared for an
actual impact from a fist, and you take seven points of damage from the hit to your abdomen.
All right.
It is your turn, he's still blinded to you have advantage and all these attacks.
You reel from the hit to your midsection.
I want to move, I want to move, no, I'll stay right where I am.
Can I reach forward, grab his head and his shoulder and go in for a bite attack at his neck?
You certainly can.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, brutal.
Dijing for the jugular.
That's what he did.
He's the time.
23.
23.
Definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that.
Oh, good.
Yeah!
Oh, eight.
Nice.
You're sure you're adding that, right?
Yeah.
It's just four.
It's six.
But this is halft.
Are you sure?
I thought you were both raging.
There's no halve.
No, we have to die.
It's negated.
It is.
Is that true?
Yeah, we have to die.
Both of them are half damage because of their raging,
so we're considering them both to not count that.
So they're not counting the half.
He shouldn't be halving his die.
Well, no, no, no.
The die halving is the natural damage of a punch is 1D2.
Yeah.
So it's half of a D4.
Got it, sorry.
Except for Pern, who's crew doing a full D4 on his punches.
For some reason.
He's got some money on this.
I gotta make sure it's going.
Right.
All right.
So as you rush in, you grab,
he puts out a hand to try and punch just instinctively
as you rush towards his eyes still kind of coated
in his own blood.
You push it to the side, reach in and grab the back of his shoulder,
and grog bite into the side.
It's like biting into a tree trunk.
His skin is so thick.
I eat bar stools for dinner.
You do, actually.
And the taste is similar.
Your teeth grind in and you find yourself
tearing into probably what would be the toughest steak you've ever tried to.
You get about a quarter to a half an inch in with your teeth,
definitely taking a chunk and tearing out what you can,
but just based on the general hardiness of this half-orch structure,
you don't get to a jug of there or any major vein,
but you do leave a gash that leaves a significant mark on his body.
That's the first attack.
I pull back from the bite and I whisper in Newsy here,
I was wondering what was gonna break first, your spirit or your body.
And I would like to try and pick him up over my head and bring him down on my knee, Bain style.
You Batesman!
Okay, okay.
All right, go ahead and make an athletics check with advantage.
Okay, that's 25.
25.
Do I need to roll an advantage to see if I get a 20?
Sure, go for it.
Oh, it's a 19. It was so close.
26.
So you reach forward and scoop him up, lifting him over your head.
He's trying to resist it, but in his unable to see state he just cannot give, there's no way
he can possibly resist this.
You lift him up over the top.
Down onto the knee. Go ahead and roll damage.
I will consider this a both your two final attacks, but this attack damage is double modifier
included.
Seven, so 14.
Whoa.
14 points of damage and this attack.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
All right.
As part of this, he is...
He's going to pull some shit.
He's about to pull some shit.
Matt reaching from things.
I'm going to go ahead and make a Constitution check on his end.
The DC is going to be the damage dealt.
So he's going to try and essentially resist the effect of this.
He has a disadvantage because he's blinded.
That is a three.
Three.
Oh!
18 and a three.
However, he still has a really high constitution, and it says still plus nine to that.
Twelve.
Twelve.
And I don't have to beat the four.
So, for the purposes of this round, Kern is currently on the ground stunned.
He loses a entire round of combat.
Oh, make me my money.
Krook!
Krook!
No one of the blinded, but Kurn is currently like reaching to money.
reaching towards this back where there's
just shooting pain through this entire nervous system
from the impact.
You have another round to go.
I reach up with my fingernails and I carve,
I carved these scraped down my face,
and I leap up with both feet and I jump down on his head.
Oh, God, that's brutal.
It's so brutal.
All right, go ahead and roll attacks up advantage on him
because he's stunned.
Oh my God, oh my God.
That's better.
23.
23 hits.
Yes, he's doing very well.
You know what?
Just three of them.
Just three of them.
Like, givabon, and you're gonna get the heart,
rage stomping on him.
Okay, three attacks.
Rage, curb stomping.
20.
20 hits?
You're right, this is so much more exciting when you get.
50.
It's like you have a stake.
What's going on?
Yes.
The first, you leap up in the air,
both feet down, wham, right into the shoulder
inside of the rib cage.
You hear a snap as at least two ribs give way
under the side of the sheer weight and force
of your left foot.
You leap up again,
bring down both feet a second time.
One finds purchase in the ground next to him,
while the second one hits him right in kind of the lower abdomen
pelvis region.
With this second one, you hear,
the scream as the air is nearly knocked out of Kern.
The third one, you reach up, this time just seeing seething rage.
You can feel the actual foam at the corners of your mouth
dripping down the sides of your chin.
As you bring your leg up again to stop a third time,
this time Kern rolls out of the way.
It manages to just avoid the third slam.
What's the total damage on that?
Oh, did I roll?
No.
No.
First one and second one.
It's good.
Eight.
Eight.
And eight.
Yep, yep, yep.
Damn.
Okay, that is.
Come on, come on, come on.
Turn him into a stain.
All right.
Kern, no longer stunned.
Now gets up holding the back of the side.
You suck, Kern.
You also smell.
Kind of glances up for a moment at here.
See, sees you raising your fists and gives a grin, looks back towards you, and lunges
towards you now. It's going to attempt to grapple at you. Go to make an athletics check.
Do you get an advantage at all?
Nope, no longer blind, you no longer stunned.
Shit.
You are considered currently grappled.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So for the action there, as a lot, for the action there, as a
bonus action is going to rear back, open his mouth,
and attempt to bite towards your face.
No!
Is Mike Tyson even intact?
Correct.
That is a 21.
That is a 21.
You take 10 points of damage and you feel teeth
grasp onto the teeth.
No!
Oh!
It's a sickening, sharp, burning sensation.
Your upper lip,
is now torn from the front of your face.
As you see, Cairn reeled back, a streak of blood
spilling off in the arc as his head pulls back,
a terrible grin peeking across his smile.
As you now see this dull gray colored grog of flesh-tone
piece of skin dangling, bloodily from his mouth.
It's okay, Pike and!
We can fix it!
We can fix it!
Your turn.
It's early grappled, so you can't move.
So I would like to attempt to break the grapple.
Okay.
So make an athletics check?
Okay.
That is 21.
You roll a four, yeah.
So you break from the grapple.
Okay, great.
You still have your bonus action.
Two, both of my bonus actions are all three.
Actually, break from a graph, let me double check.
Just we should.
And pop one.
You can start back on.
We can solve your bonus action.
We should collect it.
I don't care.
I blow through my newly lipless, found,
mouth. And I run up and I throw my face into his.
Okay. Go ahead and roll for your headbutt.
That's 17. 17 misses. As you dodge forward, Kern actually spits it towards you and it hits you in the face.
And for a second, it just completely throws you off. Your head still goes forward.
Kern, however, as you look down, Kern has already swished beneath you. The sheer speed, the speed,
is unexpected, is that we're looking up and grabs the chunk of the Lillipity and taken and
comes up for a full round of attacks against you.
Wait, that was just my one attack.
Oh, that's right. You're still attacked.
No, no, no. You used your action to break the grapple and your third attack.
So you're still grappled so you can't move. So this is his turn.
I broke the grapple.
He broke the grapple.
Oh, you did break the grapple. Yeah.
So you can still move if you wanted to.
No, I'll stay there.
Okay.
So that is a 23.
Hit.
Twenty-three.
Fuck you.
And a.
12.
So grabs the lip in one hand, reaches up and then slam uppercuts you from underneath the first hit.
That is seven points of damage.
Okay.
The next one, however, is eight points of damage.
Swings up and actually haymakers you to the side with the hand still holding the chunk of your lip in it
across the side of your face and is going to attempt to do a backwards leaping kind of flip-case.
Oh, Jesus, Chunlee.
However, because Kern is not as practiced at this and is kind of extending, you see it telegraphed
far to advance and you duck out of the way and twists past. Kern loses his balance for a minute,
and an embarrassing moment almost falls over from his own strike and manages to catch himself
and he's like, nobody saw that, right?
That ends Cren.
I saw that good!
I reach forward, throw that leg towards the right knee again, still working on the same spot.
Okay.
Miss.
All right.
All right.
Just have two more strikes.
Yes.
That's a 21.
21 hits.
And I miss.
Okay.
So you rushed forward with your leg.
He manages to duck out of the way, bringing his knee up to the side.
Comes down to try and get ready for the next attack.
However, you already use that inertia that kick to bring your fist down.
Wack!
Right across the front of his face.
Go ahead and roll damage.
It's an eight.
Eight, all right.
Okay, and the third strike, you come up to follow that up.
with a full combo, at which point, however, he reaches out, grabs the sides of your wrists,
and brings it down to where you're now face to face again, kind of left at his mercy at this point.
You're off balance and led towards him as Kern's turn.
Kern is going to reach back and attempt to headbut you in the front.
That is a 21.
That is a 11.
Misses.
And that's going to be a 22.
Oh, that's.
Just whack, heads butts you right square in the face.
square in the face. You reel back from it. He goes to headbutt again. This time you duck out of the way.
However, at that point, he pulls you closer in towards him, still holding your wrist to his side,
and headbutts you a third time. So the first headbutt does nine points of damage. Okay.
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And the other one does seven points of damage.
Okay.
Wack!
Whosh!
Wack!
Pulling you in, this time releasing you from the sheer impact,
pushing you back onto your feet.
It's your go.
Am I back to the wall?
You're pretty close to the wall, yeah.
I'd like to take a step back, put my back foot on the wall,
and then push off into the air with a huge overhand right.
Nice. Okay.
Pushing off in the air, the arc coming down with the fist.
Uh, it did uh, 22.
22 hits.
Uh, four.
Uh, eight points of damage.
Eight points of damage.
Alrighty.
And then I say,
You were supposed to be the only lipless one,
and I soccer ball their shit out of those dimes between his leg.
Nice.
Uh, 25.
25.
Yeah, great hits.
Come on, come, come on.
Uh, that is seven.
All ready.
And then.
and then whack with another screeching,
oh, your foot immediately cracks, right.
You've now repeatedly pummeled him into his man bits,
and you can see there is a dark stain in this trowson
where you've definitely drawn blood in his nether regions.
He's got a bloody cock.
That is pain.
Is he standing? Is he bent over?
He's standing partially bent forward, kind of clutching towards the severe pain in his nether regions.
and other regions.
Well, did you lose something?
No, you'll lose it now.
I do it again.
All right.
Uh, 19.
Just barely hits.
Yeah.
Uh, eight.
Eight, all right.
Thank you, Percy.
Percy.
Yes, Percy Dice.
Percie Dice.
A third hit, this time,
another howl in pain.
Kern reaches down and clasps his hands,
once again kind of the same capture maneuvered with your fist
onto your ankle, and you can see the first.
face goes from pain, his eyes flash open with a blood-seating orc rage. Half-orke this
may be, in this moment, Kern's gone full orc.
Okay.
And you can see, on his turn, Kern is going to pulling your leg forward towards you. You
feel yourself pulled off balance and the momentum pulling you towards him as he unleashes
another flurry.
As he does, I shout out from the audience using my cutting words.
What do you shout?
Oh, Kern, do you need some dick? Because I came.
gave some to your mom last night.
Oh!
Go ahead and roll a D-10 and I'll distract him in his attack.
D-2.
That was a burn.
That was a burn.
Fuck, only three!
It's okay.
So, so good.
So good.
That brings it down to an 18.
What's your armor class?
It's 18.
So it's still his.
Still, that was awesome.
Do you get to you, there's a momentary distraction
as Curtin can glances over for a second angrily,
but still follows through with the first hit.
the first hit. This one, clocking you straight in the face, sending your head back in severe
pain. You take, that is 10 points of damage.
Yep.
Fuck!
You fall backward, the force of the blow, sending you kind of onto your heels. Second strike
comes in at a 15. I believe that. Missed you. Oh, that misses you. That is, oh, that's a natural 20.
That puts it at 12 points of damage on the third strike.
Okay.
As Kern comes forward, the second punch just swings over your head as you're still reeled back.
The third one, he runs forward towards you as you're pushed a few feet away and knees you right straight to the solar plexes.
The impact causing the air to escape your lungs.
And for a brief moment, you're having to pull the air back in.
It's your turn.
Right.
So is that, oh.
No, did it.
What?
I was just saying if we get another chant going, grog, grog, grog, chet's, chan, chants,
Cover me.
Grog.
Grog.
I cast a feeling word on grog.
Grug, grug.
All right, I'm going to ask you to do a sleight of hand.
Okay.
Do I get advantage because we're all chanting together?
Nope.
No.
What if I shot off a prostitution firework?
No.
To help me out?
It could be like a team effort.
No.
All right.
Doing this now.
Deck of illusions.
Oh, that's good.
That's a 16.
18 total.
Mm-hmm.
As you begin casting, when you're at Bastion's,
grabs your wrist and pulls you into his face and says,
I'm sorry, missy,
you're gonna understand that you're cheating.
No.
That's just the language of my people.
She's foreign.
Yes, I'm foreign.
Go ahead and make a deception role.
It would be with the disadvantage,
but because Tabiris is helping you,
we're just gonna make it a straight roll.
Deception?
Deception?
Deception.
11 total?
Because charisma.
The bastions is,
is you're coming with me.
Oh, stop.
Why do I always get busted?
I know.
You can't ever buy beer and not get busted.
Scanlum is going to interrupt first and we'll get to you.
I want to be like, excuse me.
And I said, I see this happening.
I go over and I use friends to cast two.
No!
No!
As you're about to walk over, Tiberius puts his hand down and goes, no.
Excuse me.
I pull out, I pull out, I pull out, 10 gold coins.
That's all I actually had, because I have.
I had 10 left.
I thought I was, and I gave it,
excuse, I'm sorry, this is a bit of a misunderstanding.
She's foreign and she's royalty, please.
I'm from Taconian, she's from this,
she's a druid, I see all the shit really quick,
and I'm sorry, I'm so, so, so, sorry.
The other loving unicorn rainbow fluffers.
Please, do, do, no, no, take
with disadvantage.
Oh, God.
Already, he's already,
and pissed off at this.
Gerd is dying.
Gurd is dying.
Uh, what was it?
What was it?
Deception?
Deception?
Deception?
So that's 22 and 21.
Okay.
The bastion glares at you,
looks over one of the nearby bastions.
You see two manacles clinked down on your wrists
from another bastion to your left.
And the bastion's only both says,
apparently she's got people helping her out.
Come on, we're dragging her off.
You both are being pulled away.
As they're doing that, I'm like, you said dragon.
I'm not dragging.
You guys are being dragged away from the crucible.
Right.
It's my turn.
It is your-
I come back from that knee to the solar complexes.
I just have one for grot-plus!
I reach up and grab the back of his head
and I just drive my elbow straight into his chin.
Go for it.
Fuck.
Damn it.
Awesome.
25.
25 does it.
Uh-da-da-da.
Yes!
Eight.
All righty.
As it carries through, I'd like to come,
as it carries through his chin,
I'd like to come back with a back elbow, same spot.
Boom.
All righty, roll for attack on that.
Uh, 16.
Nope.
Perrys it to the side after the first impact, kind of sets his jaw off to the side again.
Snap's it back into place.
Last one.
Last one. Since I'm standing and I probably whiffed, I see that, that knee that I've been working on,
I throw my heel out and just try and pop it in.
Okay.
Yes, uh, 27.
27 does hit. Go and roll damage.
Eight.
Eight.
Eight. All right.
You go forward and pop.
Your foot finds the side of the knee,
and the knee this time buckles under the weight.
Kish off the side.
Kern falls under the one knee,
puts both hands out in the ground,
and coughs up the sputtering puddle of blood
that then spills out in the ground.
Kern looks like that blow is about to knock
Kern over to the side, but Kern sits there
and tenses his muscles, his headwips up at you,
and that orcish glare,
that sheer focus of fury that you saw once before,
is holding him on the edge.
This is it?
Kern looks up at you.
No, this is my town.
And leaps up at you with a flurry of an extremely desperate half-ork.
First strike comes at you.
That is a 22 to hit.
Hits?
Ooh, that is a 27 to hit.
Hits.
And natural 20.
No, no, no.
Oh, my God.
They are.
First strike is 10 points of damage.
10 points, okay.
Mm-hmm.
Next one is eight points of damage.
Okay.
Last one, which is, oh, okay, that's eight, six,
14 points of damage.
Right.
Okay.
What are you at?
So that puts me at negative 13.
I use my relentless range.
Oh, what is that?
What is that?
What is that?
Oh my little boys growing up!
Oh my God, oh my God.
So Grog has been put to negative as the orc has pummeled you and you feel
and with a final resounding crack, the knee comes up, slamming you into your chin.
You feel your body begin to fade from view.
Your vision began to tumult to black.
I just want a hundred gold!
At that point, you feel that seething anger, that rage, that that medallion that was giving to you,
the section of a lip that is now missing from your face.
Let me go to see what this ability does real honest.
No, it's gone down.
Let this rage.
I mean, I'm in there.
All right.
You're arrested.
Make a constitution saving throw right now.
I get busted every time.
21.
21.
You instead of drop to one hit point.
One hit point.
Yes.
You know all of a sudden the rage pulls you through
and your whole body snaps up into place again.
And you can see Kern before you has this grin in his face.
Like he's just watched, just watch victory come to him,
and then it's just watch.
He's torn away. His eyes open and that half-orchish rage simply fades for a second, as you see for the first time, deep fear take the heart of your combatant. Take your turn.
I look at my arms. I look at him. I spit blood into the sand and I say, well, well, where have I seen this happen before? Time's up. And I run forward in a massive arcing uppercut. I drive my fist under his jaw with everything I'm.
I have. Go ahead and roll for damage.
On me.
Oh, damage?
Roll for attack, roll for attack.
Okay.
Oh shit.
Uh, 18.
18. As you rush forward, he, through the fear, still brings his hand up and pussed the first hit out of the way.
Second attack.
I look down and I say, very well.
Respect.
And I take my elbow and I drive it into his temple.
Go on, go on.
Go on.
15.
15.
The second one.
brings back and parries it to the side.
From the stand, from the stance, I said,
I said, I love you, Grohl!
Oh my God, it's her tits, it's her tits!
Don't distract!
I'm not here!
Through the fury of your rage.
She just showed her tits, that's inspiring!
At this moment, if that were to distract Grog,
I'm afraid Grog would drop his rage.
However, Grog, I built my shirt, me.
However, however, however, the entire other side
of the crucible right now is going,
They all burst into cheers.
Damn it, and I'm not there!
I missed the upper cut.
Vax, by the way, is standing behind you and going,
Sister, it's like pulling your shirt down for you and is like desperately trying to...
Sex, I'm a good.
I've missed the upper cut.
Can I sing from the audience?
At this, not right now, this is this.
This is the middle of his turn.
Oh, God.
You can't after this, but this is the middle of his turn.
Just bring him down.
All right, big old hammer blow.
Roll for it.
Come on.
I don't want to see.
13.
13.
Oh, 13.
Kern, now instinctively slaps it out of your way.
And you can see the fear begin to fade in for a second.
Looks at you and sees truly how close on the edge you are.
Oh, you've proven yourself this day.
But there is only one champion of the crucible.
You get your upscanlin now.
Yeah, so I was going to sing to him to inspire.
I guess I can still try.
Yeah, go for it.
What do you want to sing?
I sing, uh, uh, uh, uh, with your arms and your fists, and your legs and your wrists.
It's in your head, in your head you are fighting.
That's all I go.
D-10 inspiration died to you, Grog, in this pinnacle moment.
So hold on to that D-10.
Okay.
All right.
Fuck!
Kern, now intensely is scared,
is using his action to go into his dodge maneuver.
It's like on the edge, you can see one eye is swollen shut
and it's like, goes into the stance to defend himself.
However, as his bonus action, all of a sudden,
takes two steps forward and almost brusely one inch,
punches to your torso.
That is a nine plus eight, 17.
Misses.
Misses.
Goes to punch, however, the short distance,
while the speed is extreme, misjudge the distance.
and it stops an inch before your chest,
and you kind of look down and it just barely stopping
before it finds your chest.
Looks up at you.
He just come at me brood you.
Does he do a sudden stroke?
Oh, you guys.
Is he in defense?
Come back.
It's in Dodge mode, yeah.
It's in Dodge, so it's a disadvantage?
So all of your attacks are disadvantaged.
Oh my God.
I want to leap at him and try and grab him around the waist.
Okay.
Oh my God.
Take him down, take him down to your phone.
I get third.
No, do what you want.
Do what you want.
Do what you want, do what you want.
What's your, what you're doing?
I'm fine, fucking, I just reached,
I just, like, with desperation that this might fall away,
I just throw my Goliath fist out of it.
All right, so first punch is,
with disadvantage.
17.
What, plus 10, plus 10, let's do it, no, no, no, do.
22, 12, roll damage.
Come on.
Eight.
How do you want to do this?
Ah!
All right, yeah.
All right, peer, ears, everyone.
Sorry.
Clutch Scalman inspiration.
Grog, how do you want to do this?
As the fist connects and he starts to wobble, I reach over, I stand above him and grab
around his waist with his back facing towards me, I lift him up over my head so that his
head gets to come up and look at the crowd one last time before sending him straight back
onto his shoulder blades and neck and smashing him into the eye.
resounding slam. Kern's body impacts into the stone floor of the crucible. A cloud of dirt and dust
around. Rocks break off and tumble down the side of the walls of the crucible as the crowd has to stop themselves from falling in from the sheer impact of the tremor that you've left, slamming Kern. You can see everyone kind of falls silent. The crowd cheers all come to a sudden halt. The dust settles.
As you can see nothing at the base of the crucible.
As the cloud slowly comes to rest, you see there,
broken and laid out on the ground is an unconscious,
bloodied and ruined Kern.
As Grog steps forward, head hunched beneath his billowing shoulders,
fists clenched in anger, victorious in the center of the crucible.
I put my foot on his chest, and even my best king con go,
at which point the crowd,
Rha!
Raises into shouting cheers,
claps.
At which point the cheers...
Did I show my books?
Yes, you do.
I'm not there.
We're not there.
None of us remember that at all.
The bookie screams out,
We have now
a new champion of the crucible.
Not Philip,
but Grog, the victorious.
Booze, curses shouted.
You see people shouting off,
throwing empty,
coin purses off to the side, different language.
It's a whole cacophony of cheers and curses,
and then all of them all suddenly quiet.
Oh.
I do.
The whole crowd turns over, and to the edge of the crucible,
you see standing over,
bring this down here for a moment of tension,
standing over to the edge, a hood is thrown back
on a figure that's been watching the entire fight.
You notice this figure, as the hood is thrown back,
An older human man in his mid to late 60s, with tough, tough reddish-tanned skin.
Short but stocky, receding gray hairline with a long, coarse gray beard that tumbles to his beltline.
He wears what looks like ceremonial robes of red and gold, simple wooden sandals, and a dark brown necklace of large two-inch round beads that adorn the shoulders and neck area.
His body is stout and ripped with muscle, trained over a lifetime of martial prowess and careful honing.
His arms across as he looks down at the crucible, down at you, Grog.
Grog. Gives a nod and a smile, turns around, and walks away from the crowd.
Quietly, as everyone just kind of silently takes in this momentary experience.
A few seconds pass, and then the crowd...
Rha!
Continues cheering once again!
Oh, let me go!
Kurt's a pussy!
The clerics now come climbing down to the center of the crucible to retrieve the unconscious and bleeding out of the body of Kern,
administering heels immediately to make sure he doesn't actually slip away from everyone.
I run over and grab my lip and pick it up and go,
just between you and me, is there anything we can do with this?
One of the clerics looks at, it was good.
Hold it there for a moment and reaches out, and the...
and reaches out and administers a fifth level cure wounds.
To making a medicine check, see how, yeah, that's a 16.
You go ahead and heal, that's shitty rolls.
I should use you that one there.
So that's, you heal 22 hit points, but you feel your lip fuse,
and while it might leave a very small scar, it is in one piece.
You might be careful about spitting or doing anything too heavy with it over the next week.
for fear of jettisoning it from the front of your face accidentally.
Right, or growing a beard on it?
Oh, it's so sweaty.
Although I tell I want that you're doing.
If you grow enough beard, you can knit it together to hold it in place.
You make your way up the...
Actually, sweating.
Yeah, no, I am too.
You make your way up the rope ladder to the top of the crucibles.
Some folks come up and they cheer and like, grab your hand and shake it.
Thank you! Thank you! I believe you do this!
Caird's been standing there too long. It's about Tommy got taken down.
And he gets pushed away at other person.
A young guy you see now sick.
16 Scronny, but excited.
It says, you're my new hero.
Oh my God.
Grog, where'd you learn to train?
Can I train with you?
Can I train with you?
Uh, um, grog's not here right now.
This is Philip.
Um, if you'd like to leave a message,
come back another time.
Gotta go, bye.
I walk away.
I find Scanlan in the crowd,
and I reach out and shake his hand.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah.
Skihnli, are you all right?
You look poorer somehow.
Oh.
Have you lost money?
You look like you've lost money.
Especially in the face.
Who's worth it?
I've heard your voice is cutting through the crap.
Where are Tiberius in Keynes?
I'm gonna use my earring right now.
I don't know.
They got arrested.
I figured we'd deal with that.
We got arrested while you were fighting.
Oh.
You guys, by the way, right now,
are currently brought to a small holding facility,
not that far from the crucible,
where you've been set down onto a bench,
both manacled and left while the one bastion
that originally found you is currently keeping watch.
Outside?
What is it?
Out of vision from you guys, you don't see this.
They're just missing.
What's about with?
Grug, before we go deal with our friends.
It looked like you were doing this battle?
If I may.
If I may, that man fought a brave fight.
I feel we should go, you should go make amends with him.
It was a respectable battle.
You won't feel good about yourself unless you do.
At which point the bookie hands a sack of gold
right into your hand, well, fuck, new champion,
and hands it to you.
Fuck that shit.
Damn!
I was about to.
Chaotic neutral, sorry.
Never mind.
I was ready.
And that kids is chaotic neutral.
At the 3 to 1 odds, that sack of gold you get back
contains 5,452 gold pieces.
You know what's so much about that Grog?
What's our return at the chaos?
You said you were going to pay back the gold that you lost me in the first five?
I did, and I pay it back happily as I look at her dragon eyes of money hoarding.
Okay, so you go ahead and work out that payback to her.
I'm going to use the earring real quick again.
Whatever you all free, Crog.
And handing money to Vex has sobered me up a little bit.
I do walk over to Kern the hammer and extend a hand
and say, well, for brother.
Curn, his arms are currently draped over to the clerics
that have pulled him out of the crucible.
Face broken, blood streak down on one side of his face.
Stepping with one foot and dragging the toes and the other
is brought to turn around to face you by the two clerics
and looks at you as you can your hand.
and looks over at you, one eye kind of swollen shut,
the eye they're glaring at you, bloodshot and angry.
You see the teeth are gritted and kind of grinding
beneath his still busted and missing upper lip.
Well fought Goliath, he brings one hand around one of the clerics
and takes you to Beastmaster.
Yes, strength and honor.
Yes, President.
It's called the dagger.
However, in the strength, you can see there's no strength left.
Like it's barely there.
Takes his hand back and it kind of hangs Lucy to one side.
He looks at you and says,
I'm proud to have finally found my match.
When I recover, I'm gonna find you
and I'm gonna want that championship back.
When the time comes for a rematch, I'll be here.
Where can I find you, Grog?
Oh, shit.
Oh, I don't hear the,
I don't hear the time.
Yeah, just tell him.
Tell him.
If I'm not here at the Crucible,
because I don't think you need an audience for glory.
You can always find me in Iman at Castle Greyscow.
Grayscore keep.
That's a raceco keep.
It's a real place.
It's a real place.
Good luck with you, Dick, by the way.
Sorry about that.
He looks over you.
It's a real place.
We probably.
You see for a minute he had forgotten about that
in this kind of exchange of honor.
And since the pain we search is,
So it's whimpering.
Spits off to the side, this giant, bloody, luggy that slaps under the side of one of the clerics.
He was like, oh, kill it.
Just wiping it from the outside of his tunic.
Looks back at you.
Great skull.
So be it.
Oh.
And hobbles away through a series of painful wimpers and wines.
Percy, the bookie collects you.
You've hit at 500 at a 3 to 1.
That is a four times return.
You make 2,000 gold.
Beautiful.
I made 20 gold.
Hold on.
You haven't made anything yet.
You're arrested.
I'm arrested.
I'm gonna use the earring at,
Grogh, if you want to use it.
2,400 T of X.
Fuck yeah.
I'm here to collect my winnings, please.
The Bastion, Skados.
Then you would owe me 300 gold.
No, no, no.
I bet on Grog if you remember correctly.
No, I have it here in my ledger
that you bet against your friend of Groh.
Oh, he would never do that.
I believe you're mistaken, actually.
That must be a typo.
I bet on grog, don't you remember?
What?
Are you casting something or you're just doing this?
Okay.
Go ahead and make a deception roll.
I don't understand.
Can I back the most of those?
Can you roll?
I'm gonna leave this as a.
Nope, nope, nope.
What did you roll?
Two.
So, wait, plus, what is this?
Deception.
Persuasion?
What is this?
Deception.
It should be deception.
You are lying.
Yeah, it's 15, though.
15.
15.
He goes, no, you did not.
I got to work on this.
He whips around, takes his cloak kind of like dismissively
putting you out of the conversation,
and walks back towards the Bellow's respite in.
Can I now use the damn room?
You can now.
Okay.
Grog, could you use your clout to get us out of holding?
I don't know what reaction you know.
You're in holding.
Yeah, I'm sure I'm a little.
pretty big deal.
What's going on?
You were arrested?
Why?
Because Kula's trying to do something and I tried to talk around of it and didn't work out and
we're now holding.
It's fine.
Oh, bullshit, you tried to talk out.
What did you try to help out?
Tiberius, what can you see around you?
A guard.
Are you inside, outside?
Can I track them?
I can track.
Go and make a survival.
Do I make a survival?
Check.
Survival.
I'm sure if you asked the person who paid.
We're sitting on a bench.
If someone were to be an idiot, where would you take them to hold them when other people decided just how much of an idiot?
Because you know their tracks, their footprints, I would have put it to a bit as because you know, this is more alive and cancel it out.
At a 16, you look around and you can see there is a track of two people with their feet being dragged behind by two of their heavy footprints by heavily armed individuals that lead.
There are three buildings off to the side, and you can see there is what looks to be a small station for holding and or just a general bastion kind of satellite station
within this portion of the braving grounds.
Can we go over and knock, knock, knock, knock.
You knock, knock, knock.
A few seconds past, and the door kind of slides open a little bit.
And from the inside, you can see a partially scarred
against one cheek, kind of late 30s, early 40s,
gentlemen who look square-jawed and definitely trained
in some semblance of looking gruff and angry.
He says, can I help you?
Hi, yes, I'm looking for, I'm looking for a couple of people.
They're actually mental.
Patience and they've gotten loose.
Thanks, here we are.
Hello, I said.
Oh, that's them, yes.
I'm afraid.
These two cheaters over here,
these are the ones you're looking for.
Cheaters, well that makes sense.
They don't understand normal social rules.
I'm from draconia.
Slayer's, I don't think that matters.
And I'm also not from here.
You see what I'm talking about.
You know what you're from, you all right?
Go ahead and make a deception check.
Okay.
Just say where you're from.
That's easy.
What?
Did I do it?
There it is.
I don't know what that means.
I'm sure I don't know what draconia is,
but I'd like to spread the words.
Uh, 24.
24.
Okay.
Oh shit.
I can give you the blunts his.
Well, look, we have reason to believe they may have been trying to fix and or rig their bets
on the recent bout out here in the crucible.
That is a very serious offense here in the break.
here in the breaking around.
I can imagine it would be, yes.
However, I don't want to deal with the processing
and the time takes.
So if these are indeed your charges
and you're willing to fill out some paperwork
and pay the fines right now,
we'll relinquish them to you.
Well, how, what's the fine?
What, how much for this is the fine?
Who are you?
Oh, hi.
He's my lawyer.
I'm Bert Reynolds Esquire.
Right.
I'm an attorney at large.
I represent all manner of.
An attorney at small.
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I mean, he's a gnome.
Meg a deception, Shed.
20.
Small, Reynolds, sir.
If you would like us to fill out,
if you would like us to fill out paperwork,
I have about two reams of paperwork for you to fill out
to release them to us as well.
And also, there will be court costs involved.
Oh boy.
And triple-click, you'll have to get your supervisor
to fill out this one, and I will need this.
need this one and I will need this one as well.
The 500 gold is fine and release them to you, all right?
Is that fine?
That's fine.
And they'll still get to collect their winnings from the pit?
I don't care what they're going to do.
Just take them from me.
Great, thank you, sir.
You know what?
I can make this paperwork disappear.
This is fine.
Yes, actually, for a small.
Never mind.
Nope, nope.
Nope.
Let it go.
Just let it go.
Let it go.
Here you go.
I noked myself on that one.
Nope.
There you are, 500.
He collects it, ushers over to the other bastion,
who comes over and takes off your manacles
and as forths you do the door, he says,
However, if I see either of you two causing any trouble
anywhere in Vasselheim,
it's down to the obliad you go.
You hear me?
Say that word again.
What?
Ubliet?
The amaranthinehubli-bliet, blah, blah.
What is wrong with me?
Get out of here.
Run!
You've been busted!
You've out-talked the talker
as the guard finds himself so flustered.
by the frustration and anger that he's been caused by this entire strange arrival of individuals.
His speech pattern has been muddled and then frustration shubs both of you out the front door and slams it behind you.
As I think he's, I think he's having an aneurysm.
He's speaking of draconian, I heard it.
What would you try to do cast magic?
She cast it here and then how did you get him?
I tried to talk out of it and I just got arrested.
Thank goodness you are being represented by an ace attorney.
Yes.
Hold it!
He won!
I agree!
Let's go get your winnings,
because I think that should cover the amount that I just spent.
I've owed 20 gold!
Tiberius, thank you for your efforts. You is well keen.
Oh, thank- oh, I'm so happy you won, Grog.
Thank you.
I'm the champion.
I wish I could have seen because I was eating my binder out of stress.
As you guys make your way back to the Bella's respite in,
you managed to find the one bastion who acts as the bookie who is currently,
It was currently halfway through a very heavy pint
and chatting with one of his friends.
And you can hear there are stories now.
People are retelling the tale of the battle
in the cauldron of the rise of Grog the victorious.
When we release, I like to get my winning.
What's where you guys are going to the bookie?
Oh, great.
Awesome.
See them.
Are we in the tavern?
You guys know the bell's recipe.
Are there any small lads running about
or maybe excited to see me or something?
Wait, what?
As you guys enter the tavern,
there is a sudden bit of you.
a bit of whispered quiet,
and all the tails kind of fall to an end
and the place falls quiet
as everyone kind of stares at you as you enter,
stepping in, both falls.
Are there any younger men that are...
What are you doing?
There are maybe two men looking in their late teens
to early 20s that, who saw the fight
and are currently wide, doughy-eyed,
and like seeing a hero before them.
I walk over to one of them.
I pull out a gold coin and I say,
how would you like to make a gold coin side?
Oh, boy.
I don't think what this is going.
Wait!
From you,
Gras, of course, what can I do?
What can I do?
I reach into the bag of holding.
I take out the second place medal, the participant medal,
and I go, make sure Curran gets there.
Oh!
Oh!
Yes, yes indeed.
Of course.
He takes it, he runs off.
You sick fucks.
Sorry.
Well, I mean.
I don't, come on.
It's like, you can't even a bar looking for young boys.
looking for young boys.
Fraising.
We're here.
Over there.
Yeah, we're not arrested anymore.
You don't have to keep doing this.
Fraising.
Fraising.
All right.
To Grog the victorious.
Ah.
The bookie gives you your coin purse of 20 gold.
You guys, this really makes gambling so much fun.
You're well.
You're well.
Tiberius, you get your current coin purse of 2448.
Great.
Wonderful.
But you owe. No, she's paying for that.
She's got 20 gold. She had other gold.
I bought a nice meal for you.
That's true.
Oh, shit.
A thousand gold.
That's right.
I'll pay you.
I lost 100 gold.
What was it 26? 248 was the number.
You still needed a profit.
No, no, it's good.
If you want to take the 500 from that, I'll put that.
Eight minus 500.
Man, that fight was amazing.
That fight was amazing.
That was best.
Should we use this as a...
I was going to say, as you guys can celebrate with the joyous drink of ale here, the Bellows Respite Inn,
to celebrate the victory of not Philip, but Grog the victorious in the cauldron here,
the braving grounds of Vasselheim, in the north-western region of the countryside.
Welcome back, guys, welcome back. We are returning as the party has finished their celebration,
drinking hard through the afternoon, celebrating Grog's victory.
Was that amazing or was that amazing?
I've never seen anything like that at all.
It was incredible.
It was incredible.
Cheers to you, big man.
Thanks.
I am.
I raise my glass of water and I choose as well.
Thank you, Tom.
If you all enjoy our apples sauce.
Apple juice.
Good apple juice.
Very good apple juice.
Gentle with that, apples don't crow on trees.
Apples don't crow on trees.
This episode of Critical Role brought to you by MOTS.
Yes.
Mott's Irish apple juice.
All right.
It's a joke.
So, god damn it.
With that bit of business, with the crucible currently taking care of the rest of your path is your own, what do you wish to do?
Oh.
Oh.
Money?
Crackhammer?
We should do it a curve.
Is there anything else we want to do while we're here?
No.
I want to just get...
over this town, over the city?
Yes, yes.
I just need to pick up a little bit of ore on the way out
so I can work on making some more ammunition
on the way to crack out.
Sounds good.
I like that idea.
We could take the airship and you can craft some things.
When we do go, I think I might have an idea
for our carpet situation.
Oh?
Really?
Your wheel of mending, perhaps?
No, no, that didn't work.
It might have been how it worked.
It kept it in town.
But when we return to House Thunderbrandt,
I believe we have a few items that they want.
The ideal was, is when we procure certain items,
we will be allowed to certain information
and certain...
We actually didn't want...
What to call that?
Explain what we were going to get.
But we should return, get our gold
and definitely visit House Thunderbrand.
Right, right.
They have magic things.
They are strong in the arcane.
Perhaps they can enchant for what we have procured for them
in that venture.
And maybe that could be a good way around.
killing our carpet re-enchanted without costing any coin.
We'll prod that. We'll prod that.
Can they make me unsee my sister's boobbies?
You didn't see them, you were behind me, so shut up.
What's you doing all the way over there anyway?
I saw them.
I saw them.
Can you scan them, when we are on private, can you describe them to me?
I will draw them in great detail.
Thank you.
I know, I wasn't there.
How about you?
You know what?
You know what?
You know what?
You know what?
I'm just going to say, really.
Really, I went.
I'm just going to say.
It was already there.
It was already there.
I was caught up in a moment of passion.
I'm sorry.
Too late.
She would do anything for you, girl.
Anything for you and for the 600 gold that I put on your fight.
Oh, it was for the money.
Listen, I was right there.
There was no other way to handle that situation.
You did what you had to do.
Listen, I would show any part of me for like two gold.
I know.
Here's two gold.
Oh, here.
Take a look at my third nipple.
It was cured. It can be wherever I put it, really. It's magical.
I don't throw them a piece of gum.
I have no idea what's going on.
We're all together. That's what's going on.
I love this tavern.
So what is closer to Kraghammer?
Do we need to find O?
Yes.
Where we're from? It's halfway, I think,
Craighammer is in between us in Imon.
Actually, it's from where you guys are currently,
across the Ozmitt Sea is Iman, which is Port City in Taldore,
and then Cragghammer is about maybe two days.
Oh, that's fine.
Are we all ready to go?
What time is it?
It's in the middle.
By now, I'd say it's like probably one in the afternoon
since that fight's out.
Y'all, we're day drunk.
Are we ready to go?
We're all right?
We're drunk?
I'm not drunk.
Well, we're celebrating from grog, right?
Does some person you want ore?
Right.
I just need to pick, it's not hard to get a little bit of ore.
I'm just going to pick up some.
Can we?
Let's go.
Is the night later, then, are we ready to go?
Well, maybe.
There's two more things that I, that I,
that I have unfinished, unanswered questions for.
First of all, you said we were going to go stop on the way
to get a new carpet or get our carpet repaired?
We need to go ahead.
We need to go ahead and get our $30,000 waiting for us to begin with.
25,000.
25,000, sorry.
And while we're there, House Thunderbrand,
we procured a few items for them
or at least one while we were down in the under dock.
We should return there and talk to them
and perhaps an exchange is per goal,
we can maybe have them enchant the carpet to fly again.
That is a smart idea.
It's just, that's great.
Before we leave though, does anyone have a nagging,
tugging feeling about that cloaked human who praised your performance?
Should we investigate that at all?
He had a lovely beard.
Well, that makes something.
We could.
We at least find out who he was before we leave town.
Hey, uh, bartender.
Oh.
At which point you see, uh, after the side, one's lucky
Ned. The bar key looks over. Yes, yes. You have a question.
Yes. That bearded, hooded gentleman at the end of the fight, yeah?
Kind of thinks for a second. Oh, you mean...
The one that everyone was quiet for? The red and gold robes.
What? Who? Who? Who is he? You're certainly not from around here, are you?
You're not.
Foreign. Looks around. That was Earthbreaker Groo.
Earthbreaker Groo? Earthbreaker Groo? Earth Brewn?
Earth Breaker?
He bakes the earth?
That's a great name.
Where does he happen from?
Yes.
What does he do?
He's the dawn marshal of the entirety of these here, braving grounds.
Donn Marshall?
He's the Don Marshall.
He is the highest esteemed cleric of the Church of Cord.
The trial forged itself in the center of this city, this portion, this district.
What is the very, very top of the entire high church.
of the entire hierarchy underneath cord strength and watch.
And he nodded.
Apparently, he was summoned to watch this fight
and approved of your prowess in battle.
What does that mean?
Oh, wait.
I have no fucking clue.
But that's an honor is what that is,
and appreciate that yourself.
I do.
If I wanted to find this Earthbreaker groom,
um, or...
Groon with a nun.
Oh, Groon.
Right, the other one's weird.
Yeah.
He's going to find him in the middle of the trial forge.
Most likely.
Wonderful.
So this guy's like the Pope of Cod?
What?
Pope?
The Pope.
Ha!
It's okay.
She's young.
Thank you for the information.
And foreign.
Foreign.
Have a good day.
Thank you.
It has antlers on her head.
I think we should all leave.
I like my antlers.
I'm just saying it's a good reason.
There's nothing.
It's just a very reasonable reason.
It's a culting.
It's a culting.
Yes, Tiberius, my good friend.
Do you have, are you satisfied in no knowledge of procured?
I'm always satisfied.
Wonderful.
Too easy, too easy.
Well.
Grog, I'm sure you would like to
would you have pub of sorts?
We're in a pub.
Oh, fuck.
We're day drunk.
That's how drunk we are.
I have a brilliant, if slightly inebriated thought.
I walk out of the bar.
Okay.
I have even better brilliant yet slightly inebriated thought.
Oh, I just think, I think I saw Tiberius falling.
Burned Reynolds.
Oh, is Tiberius puking?
Oh, is it Pursy?
Oh, just, I'll handle them a minute.
My thought is, I can probably find some of the ore
I need to procure.
At the same time that we find this groomfellow
and at the very least, you can strike up a quick
conversation with him and see what it was about you. Would you have to go with you, Grog,
I would actually like both the twins to go with. Grog, would you like any young boys to accompany
you? You can give them a medal. I walk in back, I wake up at the bar because I went, I went,
took a piss, that's it.
Come.
Let's go.
Wait, where are we going? Where's going on? You guys are recovering from your drink.
No, hold on a second. No. I've had plenty of water.
You've already been arrested today. I'm fine.
That was walking us.
Who gave us?
For the whole time we've been, it has been clear.
That's right.
I have already been arrested today, but I need to be better.
All right, so.
My character sheet's about English.
So you guys are going with Percy to procure materials for forging new ammunition.
Yes.
All right. Go ahead and make an investigation, Chair.
What happened in my dice?
Okay.
The hell is it?
14.
14.
14. Okay.
It takes you roughly 30 minutes.
you roughly 30 minutes or so. Thankfully, this region itself contains, honestly, most of the smithing
based materials and or workshops that be required. The difficult part is finding black powder.
It is not refined in this region. It's usually considered almost a byproduct of some of the
mining and smelting. And it's very rare to find. Eventually, you find one smithing that gathers it.
You're not entirely a certain why. And everyone seems to send you, like, after you give people
a couple examples of kind of the smell of it, and we're looking forward. People send you this one direction, and you sent it this one
kind of small hovel that is attached to the very base of the mountain that overlooks the entirety of the city on the far northwestern edge of the braving grounds.
You come to the door, and it's a very, very simple, kind of slovenly kept house. The wood itself is a little warped from the weather. It hasn't kept well, and there's kind of a musty smell of mildew from the outside of the building.
But you see a slight glow between the cracks, apparently there's some sort of interior light.
Hello?
Yes?
Oh.
Charming.
My name is Personsville, Fredrikstein, Vermeusel Kowarski, de Roldo the Third.
Ha-da!
Thank you.
I was sent to you, I was sent here in terms to hopefully negotiate the purchase of some black powder.
I've heard that you...
The door slams open at this point mid-sense and you see from around the corner, a very lithe, crooked-looking man.
Quite elderly, but very spry, for...
his size. You see his arms and legs are very lanky and almost spider-like in the way they move
and shifts as he peeks out and you can see he has spectacles of two different sizes and thickness
around each eye. His hair is kind of frazzled and gray and white. Yes, yes, come in, come in.
And he runs back into the hobble.
I gingerly enter this.
As you step inside, the scent hits you immediately and you realize this place is probably filled with black powder. And the last thing
anyone wants is to set off any sort of flame. This would be a very bad idea. As you look
around, your eyes adjust to the low-lit interior. You realize it's low-lit because there
are two very, very faintly set magical torch sconces on each side that are very, very low light.
Very similar to the ones surrounding you. Kind of like these, but even smaller. And you
can see in the room, there is a small forge that's kind of a disuse to the far end.
I would hope so. There are a large, large, large number of...
of crates and barrels that all seem to be containing various parts of discarded gravel. Basically
whatever is kind of shoved off of any mining expedition goes to him and he just supples
through it and kind of separates in different pieces. And there's barrels full of sulfur,
there's barrels full of what looks like broken kind of onyx or broken quartz, and they're all
been separated. And you can see now this is kind of his OCD collection. And there is indeed
in the far end of what looks to be a barrel
that contains a large amount of black powder
that it's just everywhere.
It's like this very fine coat of powder
that is encompassing this entire room.
And as he turns around, you can see now
his hands himself are black in coat area
and he goes, so you came looking for black powder,
did you?
No one else about the black powder,
but I knew it had a purpose.
Yes, ha, you wish to buy it?
How much you want?
I've been the whole day.
How much for a barrel or hogs
S. S. For the barrel, the barrel, they'll run you.
A thousand, six hundred and twenty-three gold pieces for the barrel.
However, for a hogshead.
You can see now the spittle dripping down his chin.
I can. It's as if I can see the spittle myself.
Yes, indeed.
But for the hogshead, which, who!
And he turns around and shovels through a bunch of pieces of burlap and sack and pulls out what looks to be an actual dried and hollowed-out hogshead.
To fill this!
To fill this hogshead with it.
I'm saying with it, this will only cost you 426 gold pieces.
Oh, 20.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
How about 400 even, and you can direct me to some ore as well?
Oh, I do not work an oar?
I thought you might have a friend.
Take a persuasion roll.
Nice, Percy.
Look at that, he slipped right into Mercer there.
No, that's really, yeah.
I love, I love Percy.
25.
25.
I'm sure you have a friend.
You seem so amiable.
400.
400 I send you to something.
Yes?
Yes?
You take?
My son, sir, you have a deal.
Glorious!
He turns around and just jams the heart head
into the barrel of black powder,
picks it up.
This soot kind of settles against you
and the rest of you guys
as you now find yourself partially covered
in this slowly dissipating cloud of black powder.
You cough instinctively and push it away.
400 gold.
You pay?
I gingerly put the...
He takes it with a whisk. It's already put away into a side pouch, and you hear the clinging of kind of haphazard coins in his far pocket.
Here, hoghead, take it.
To Samson, this way, and he grabs your arm and drags you out and out of his hovel.
He points across the way with this kind of shaking, crooked finger.
Samson, there! In the brick building, I tell him, tell him, we chalms him you. He'll give you all.
Thank you for all of your help. You've been.
So kind.
Oh, my pleasure.
You want more powder?
Come back.
I might do that.
Good, good, goodbye.
And pushes you out, takes both of the arms,
and pushes you out, slams the door behind,
and you are left kind of standing there, half covered in blackened
in the center of the thoroughfare midday, kind of stunned by the whole encounter.
I mean, come on.
Amazing.
Amazing.
That's crazy prospect.
I'm going to very gently...
I'm going to walk over to Samson's place then and become
I'm very excited at the prospect of Vindu.
Six point two, six point four, eight point five.
Amazing.
All three from the Russian judge.
Yeah.
You walked to the distant brick building.
The bricks themselves are made of like a hardened grayish clay material that's been made for the basic construction of this.
The roof itself is just a solid slab of stone.
There is no kind of pretty or elegant aspect of its construction.
It's merely built for purpose.
The door is partially ajar.
And as you kind of peek in, you can see there is a very, very active forge.
There's a heat emanating from the interior.
You can see there's a man who is currently hammering something away
at what looks like an anvil set outside from it.
Ping!
Yes?
Mr. Samson?
Yes?
Wittson.
The strange fellow down the road sent me to you.
He said you might have some more.
The head sinks into the shoulders of the sigh.
tie. All right, if you dealt with that crazy old coup, to the very least I can offer you a brief
conversation. Hold on just a second. You see, kind of takes this visor off the front of his face
and sets it down and removes these big leather gloves and this leather kind of an apron of sorts
and puts it to the side and he kind of wipes his brows. He steps over and you can see him now. He's
a man in kind of his late 20s, you know, muscle bound, a little, little thick around the way.
It's kind of barrel chested. A little bit of scruff on his chin, but nothing.
beyond just not having time for upkeep,
and focus on his work.
He kind of steps up.
All right, it's what the old coot tell you, anyway.
He said you might have some raw ore for sale
that I might purchase.
Excuse me if I don't come in, I'm covered in explosive powder.
No, please stay there.
For the love of cord, stay on that doorstep.
Do not step into my abode, please.
Yes, please.
Of course.
No.
Yes.
Please.
All right.
Rest.
What are you?
You're so interested in.
Just some iron ore.
Actually, I have a little invention which sends projectiles at great speed.
That sounds fascinating.
I have ore for sale.
Raw ore, would you like ingots?
I prepare ingots.
They're a little more expensive, but they're proper and ready for any sort of use for blacksmithing materials.
Ingits would be preferable, yes.
All right.
How many are you looking for?
Five, ten, twenty?
What could you give me for approximately a thousand gold worth?
I'm going to give you an arched...
I mean...
I only have about 200 pounds worth of iron ingots at the ready.
I certainly can't carry that much with me right now.
Let's say about 100 pounds worth?
100 pounds iron ingots?
I could sell that to you.
I'd say let's at the price at about 400 gold pieces.
Haggle them down.
I'm not bad.
Where are we?
But in the back of his head, he hears your voice.
We all do at this point.
Think of me.
Think of me.
Think of me.
50 gold and I promise to always shower twice
before entering your home for my next purchase.
Make a miscaration rule.
All right.
Pointless haggle. I love it.
Aha!
That's part of the show.
I wish I were Percy.
24.
24, he goes.
You drive a hard bargain.
Keep a like because of my hair.
I love your rolls.
I know.
However, underneath all that soot,
I can see you dress well at the very least.
A bit tattered on the edges.
I like for future business.
So, sit 350 and take the ingots,
and please, too, shower next time.
Course. You are a gentleman,
and apparently a worthy smith as well.
I do bid you good day, thank.
I've already completed the transaction.
Flattery's not required.
He reaches over and settles into a large,
like, triple bagged set up of ingots.
He gets part way through and goes, no, no, no,
this is cardworthy.
Sets it up onto a small cart and brings it over to you.
and it's a small kind of wheeled, wooden cart.
It looks really rickety and probably about to collapse,
but he does not charge you for it and hands it over to you.
Give me hand carried if need be.
Good man, I will see you when my need arises again.
I look forward to it. Remember, bathed.
Very bathed.
Baved.
Quite, quite bathed.
Seriously.
Baved.
I promise it.
Please.
Yes.
All right, we're good. Thank you.
And he closes the door.
All right.
Percy.
We're going to see Earthbreaker.
Yeah. Earthbreaker.
Groon.
All right.
Make your way to the outskirts of the Trial Forge.
You know who we use.
Do we need to pursue this?
Just to talk to him, because he likes grown.
I mean, we can stay and keep getting day drunk.
Why don't you just go get arrested?
I don't think it'll take one.
You guys make your way to the trial forge.
Oh, sorry.
I'm going to come back and join you.
I'm going to do a daily rule for my pet,
because I'm going to try to treat a trick at an adult 15.
Okay.
Try and teach it a trick.
Yeah, I think I need to, I don't know how many,
I need to, like, fill the road of points per day,
and then I could change.
What kind of trick are you teaching?
The cabbage patch.
A scout.
To scout for you?
Cabbage Patch is that.
I'll say to the 15, yeah, you take some time in with a small draconian command,
you know, a phrase of your choice.
You teach you that on that one phrase, it will go ahead and wander ahead for a bit,
and then come back and relinquish in very, very broken, kind of very basic
draconic language into you via your connection with it.
Very, very basic information about what it saw.
Cool.
I'm going to throw a lightning bolt spell into my eye on stone.
Okay. So you store that? Awesome.
It takes it and gobbles it down happily.
Awesome.
You guys make it rid of the Trial Forge.
The large temple to court itself is, you know, once again,
brilliant to behold, there are steps to lead up to the front area.
These giant reddish, almost rusted overlooking iron doors that block the front entrance.
and the very top of it you see looming over this entire district
is a gargantuan statue of Cord himself,
this giant, muscle-bound humanoid titan of a figure
that stands there, giant beard, muscle-bound torso,
braces against the arms, just one knee up,
this very heroic pose and just kind of looking over
the rest of Baselheim under his gaze.
You sit up at the front of these iron doors,
and you can see there are two more bastions adorned in the same way,
the ones that oversaw the battle at the crucible.
One shots out.
Holt! He who approaches the Trial Forge! What is your business here? Yes, we are here to
see, um, to pay homage to Earthbreaker Groon with the latest champion of the city.
Of the city? The city claims no champion. Of the crucible, you know.
Both playes to each other. The Earthbreaker is a fan.
I highly doubt that.
Tell him his grog.
Check his faces.
Check your facts, buddy.
I'm not there.
Check your fat.
We're getting day drunk and training your pet.
He likes the cut of his jib, believe you me.
That's fun.
And the other one kind of gets off in the side, you know,
I'm being sad.
Arms crossed, looking down upon you from three large stone steps up with this
look of them looking forward to throwing these guys out.
About five minutes past,
the next one comes back and whispers him to Zier.
Very well.
Before you may enter briefly, but this one's only invited
to the center chamber.
The rest of you must keep a distance.
A distance.
Oh yeah, like what, 10 feet?
Yeah?
You'll know.
He steps aside and the doors slide open.
As you guys step in the interior, the smell that hits you
immediately is that of say,
and other burned herbs that are used ceremonially
to cleanse a certain landscape of evil spirits
from a superstitious standpoint,
but also just to kind of build an atmosphere
of meditation and understanding.
The one bastion that left and came back
and whispered in his ear comes up and leans in you guys
and gives you a nod.
He doesn't actually speak to you,
but gives you a hand gesture to follow.
Leads you into the trial forge, and you can see now these
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These halls are, it's essentially one long hallway.
It's an arch about 85 to 100 feet up, and the interior of it is built out of a very, very thick, sturdy reddish stone. You don't know if the actual stone itself is built from a substance of this color or itself has been stained or colored to match the rest of the kind of the cord reddish aesthetic. But as you step in your footfalls clack against a black marble floor with it looks like gold streaks through it, almost like there are small veins of some sort of gold material that has been polished within the actual marble floor.
itself.
Very pretty.
He gives you a nod and a smile.
No words in response.
Continues to gesture forth, and as you guys step in, you see occasionally a few other individuals
walking by with a similar like gold and red robe aesthetic that you saw Earthbreaker wearing
when he went to watch your battle in the crucible.
However, they're generally a little more dressed down, very simple, as opposed to the kind
of expressive designs that were building across the kind of baggy leggings that they're
Earthbreaker we're wearing and the robes. As you continue forward, the Alkin
step aside and keep a quiet watch until you begin to notice in the distance, there are
actually two large hallways that intersect. You can see most of the Trial Forge are now two long
hallways that intersect into a centerpiece. At the centerpiece, at the center place of this temple,
there is a raised dais at three different levels. At the top of it, you can see there is a beam of
light that comes down from above. As you begin to walk towards the structure, you see there
is a small figure that is currently sitting on top of this central dais. As you approach the
outskirts of this main central chamber where the two long hallways intersect, the quiet
bastion puts his hand out and tells the rest of you to stop, gives you a look, and nudges you
to proceed.
Do you need us with you?
Well, yeah, you know, I don't like talking.
Is he going on his own, then?
Is that a yes then?
Good loss.
Okay, sorry.
I go forward.
As you step forward, your foot falls clacking against the
I'm sorry.
We've been daytime drinking, and I'd hate to interrupt that.
Do you have a place here if I can't be.
This is a temple.
I mean, are you sure?
Just puts his hand out before.
I don't like talking.
Oh, he's some sort of vow of silence.
We should respect it and also make fun of it
when he's gone.
Oh my god.
At the end of that, oh my God.
It's fine.
Oh, God.
As Grog steps out into the central chamber, you can hear his footfalls kind of echoing throughout
the height of the right.
And as you look up, you can see now the light source from above is there is a, what looks like,
a stained glass domed roof to the top of the central chamber.
There is a dark spot in the center where you can see the shadow from the kind of early afternoon sun is being blocked from the giant statue of cord that remains at the top of this temple.
who is currently, essentially, now looking at the structure,
straddling the top of this giant dome stained glass roof.
And so underneath this statue is where the top of this structure is.
And through it, these beams of light are coming down multicolored
and kind of cascading onto this central chamber.
Sitting in the center, you see, cross-legged, arms to the side, eyes closed,
there sits, Earthbreaker groom.
Don Marshall himself, quiet as you approach.
Eyes closed?
I'm going to do shit.
I step forward and say,
Sorry to disturb.
I'm looking for Earthbreaker Grood.
You see an eyebrow kind of twitch for a second.
The eyes remain closed and the head turns for a second.
Hands come together like this and in that one motion stands to his feet,
almost like it was effortless.
From what was seemed like a very uncomfortable position,
suddenly is fully standing,
to the swift movement.
In place, rotates and turns towards towards.
you, eyes still closed, at which point the eyes open. And you saw pupils previously, but
in this moment of what seems to be a serious meditation, there is this luminescent white light
that encompasses the entirety of each eye, just looking straight towards you. The hands
still kind of clasped in the center like this, staring straight at you.
Okay.
You have found the Earthbreaker. What?
I keep the little bit of pee that's about to fall out from falling out.
out and I say, I happen to see you amongst the crowd
of my recent tussle.
It seemed that everyone there seemed to know who you were.
I wanted to at least introduce myself.
The victorious.
That's right.
That's right.
Once called Philip, known as the one of Vox Machina,
the traveling band from Marner.
Slayer of demons that once you serve,
your real and self. I know of your travels. I know of your deeds. I don't so much, I don't really ask.
I only mean to say that Voxmachina is at your disposal if you would ever need someone outside
of the amazing, Bravery Grounds, Vasselheim. We'll really really.
amazing. I know it's going, we know where they're at, right? No. You don't know where they're
at. If you would just keep us in mind, you're a critter. At this point in time, his eyelids
close and they open again, and there's a softness that wasn't before. The white light
is faded and you can now see beneath them these extremely piercing very, very light blue, almost
white irises that surround his pupils. And from his old
a weathered, wrinkled face from underneath his beer.
You can see a smile, slowly crawl across his cheeks.
He his hands release and rest to his side.
He lifts his head slightly as if to look down at you
from upon this dyes, not with judgment, but with curiosity.
His voice echoes and booms through this
with even but a whisper from his throat,
once again saying, your piety is accepted.
Perhaps there may be a use for cord of you and your compatriots in the future.
Should this day arise, do you must hurry? Dark times are ahead.
I can see the veils twisting, evil minds come to rent the peace apart.
There will be a day I call for you, Grob the victorious.
Stay alive.
I mean to. Thank you. It has been an honor of being in your presence.
He steps back to his position originally. And I'll go. He turns around and sits back into
his met of the position, closes his eyes, and disappears back into the same place where you originally saw him.
I turn around and I go, guys, his fucking eyes are glowing.
We're not out of here. You got to go, go, go.
kept it together. Great.
Thanks. Did you hear all of that?
I couldn't hear much, but he was great.
I almost had an aneurysm.
He sounded very scary.
Yeah, we should go. He's cool.
Do you think I should shit somewhere for us?
No, no, no.
Okay, we'll just go then.
We'll just go then.
You're sad shit and without.
Better be safe.
Better be safe.
Better be safe?
Just the little one.
No, no.
No, no.
Okay, we'll just go.
We'll just go.
And we make our way out of the golden floored, glowing-eyed guy's house.
You were escorted out of the trial for,
you eventually meet up with the rest of Oxmachina.
You carrying to your side, strapped a dried hogshead
filled with black powder and a cart of about 100 pounds
of iron ingots.
Ooh.
You want me to hold under all that for you?
If you can just help load it onto this ship,
that would be lovely.
We're going on the airship.
If we can fill it in the bag of holding,
it would be much better.
Certainly, if we can put in the bag of holding,
it would be fine.
Is that a pig's head?
It is literally a pig's head?
I don't, yes, that is in fact a pig's head.
It's complicated.
Hog, really, but this is bigger of the pig's head.
Let's find Captain Damon, get back on the ship.
I start casting circle of temptation.
You're remembering Dave.
As you guys are having this discussion,
you laugh at it, you look over and you can see the actual
the airship, which is a little, not too hard to see
from this distance, is currently being outfitted,
actually being finalized, being outfitted with brand new
ballista.
Remember this giant dragon-headed ballista you saw,
set along the walls in the outskirts of Baselheim.
Those have now been affixed to the airship
as the previous air encounter it had.
They didn't seem to quite cut to the defense
this bit of it.
You guys notice this just in time
as you see a flash of light,
you look over your shoulder,
and Tiberius has finished drawing
what looks to be a large sigil.
I fixed my pronunciation in it, thank you.
I like Sigel.
I grew up with Sigel.
I grew up with Sigel.
I didn't want to say.
Sigel.
Can I, can I, since I came in at the high
Halfway Mark. I really wanted to go to an ink specialist here in Vasselheim before we left.
So can we retcon and go backwards and say that I got the Elven sounds for V and mm?
It's boxed back there.
Tattooed on his fucking wrist. Elven. Elven. And then over here, I don't remember much of the mathematics that my teachers in
our homeland.
Wait, are you saying that someone out there in the world should do the elven symbol for
VM and we should all get literally tattooed?
No, that's ridiculous.
But over here, I have a mathematical shape.
I don't know if you know arithmetic, but I learned arithmetic when I was studying.
I learned knife work.
I learned elven poetry and I learned arithmetic.
And I had a knack for it.
She didn't.
I did not.
but I did.
And I would like to get, it was called an ecosahedron.
Yes.
Excuse me.
Right here?
Right here.
That's a 20-sided.
Wait, are we all doing that together?
In real life.
I'll go with you.
This is real life.
Oh, yes.
But to start, I want to get it here.
You guys, we got a little day trons.
Let's go together.
Come on.
And I want the elven symbol, just me.
Just me, the symbol for v and mm.
Elven right there.
All right.
Yeah.
Lovely.
So as you've had this done over the past few days,
as you were awaiting the return of the other team
who went off against the White Dragon, apparently,
you've had the time to do so.
You just haven't quite revealed it to the rest of your allies yet.
All right.
All right.
But you guys look over your shoulder,
and as you're talking about taking the airship,
Tiberius has crafted a runic circle into the ground
that it's almost beginning to pulse with arcane energy.
A familiar Sigel, one that you think actually
Siegel.
No, no.
No, no.
Sigel.
I just happily fixed it and then you just making it.
Just so everybody knows I was writing Lockheed Stats.
Cogicolns.
There you go.
The arcane sigil on the ground.
A familiar one that you once saw on the beach of one under dark subterranean island.
Down by the beach.
By the beach.
Down over by the badlands?
Tiberius, you are omnicastical of completing your ritual.
We meant for a lot.
I want to finish it.
Oh, I choose Imman.
All right, the sigil, sigil, flashes with arcane energy
and opens up, you see a small doorway that's kind of sparkling across the ground.
We can just make a casual.
We can just pop off the time on.
But Imman is not crack hammer.
You can see the sigil shimmering and the energy is being to fade.
We should go in.
We should go in doing it.
Let's go.
Let's go.
What about the airship?
The ship was only going to take us to Emon anyway.
I walk right through it and say, Tiberis, where are we going?
I'm on.
I go through you too.
Captain Damon.
I can hold up for a minute.
Good thing.
I just jump in.
Woohoo!
You all leap through the sigil.
I like jumping into things.
It's the place we've been to already too.
I like leap of faiths.
You guys find yourself once again in a small, white room familiar,
the place that was your immediate sigh of relief when you return from the Under Dark.
under dark.
Guys, it feels good to be home.
You push to the doorway, returning once again to the 80-foot circular chamber of White Stone,
where a vibrant crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling.
Oh, right.
There are five other doors around the room, and you are currently in the center of the
Traverse Junction within the Alabaster Lyceum.
I mean, we just did this. We just did this. It wasn't too long ago.
So it's okay. We probably out, it was the same guy there.
Indeed.
You understand.
Gatekeeper Xanthus is there waiting for you.
How long have we been gone?
Hold on, Siberia's one.
Five of a month.
To explain the travel schematic, it would take us a few days to come back on the airship to this particular area.
If we want to go back to Kragama, it would be much more efficient if we teleport it as we have.
Definitely.
It's a transport to Kragama, which is only north of here as well.
Which will probably take a day.
Five days.
Oh shit, did we leave?
It's a five days.
It's a five days.
Okay, good.
From here.
Oh, oh.
It is nearly a week to travel from Iman to Vasselheim Bay.
To Craghammer? To Craghammer?
To Craghammer from here, it's about a three-day travel horseback.
Right.
It's not a airship, right?
We don't have an airship.
There is no airship to Craghammer.
Yeah, but it would have dropped us off in a month anyway.
So we just shaved off five days.
Totally.
Good job Tiberius.
You're a keen.
I pop on out and I say hello again.
Yes. Oh, you, you've returned.
Yes.
Well, this time I would like you to fill out the proper paperwork.
This time, of course, you already know ahead of time that we are dear friends of you're
ill, and we do not need to.
That is not true.
I had my ass chewed out by the headmaster Thurmond Adlam last time you came through and told
me that.
So, and he from underneath his desk, slams down what looks to be a close about 20, 20,
25 papers.
I require you to fill these out so I do not lose my job here in the Lyceum.
All right, Vax pulls it over and starts filling it out and saying, all right, but you
You know, we're kind of a big deal here.
But you're trying to do it.
I was saying Pessie's so good at paperwork.
I can split the load.
But I thought we had a lawyer for this.
I thought we had Bert Riddled Desquire.
Excuse me.
There's, we're doing the paperwork.
Let's just do the paperwork.
I'm saying X's everywhere.
Just because you didn't like paperwork
or Elvin doesn't mean I don't.
I've got it, I've got it.
But Yoreal's not gonna be pleased.
He's gonna be super pissed.
But don't worry.
I look forward to it.
You really do.
Great.
Well, here you are.
Do you have a bathroom?
We're out here.
Scanlan to hold it.
I pick up an instrument to right with and go.
Down the hall to the left.
All right.
I might make it.
That's right.
Vax fills out the entire thing, except for the final signature
and says,
Scanlan, could you put the final signature on this?
Notarizes.
Don't do it is helping you.
Oh, boy.
Running up my fly.
Oh, God.
Final signature?
Whomp.
I'll just sign my name.
I don't know.
I'll just sign my name.
I don't look at problems.
Oh, that works too.
Oh, it should look at a helmet.
Thank you, kindly.
This is what I think of here.
You are free to go.
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's been a pleasure.
A real pleasure.
Very much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
You know what I think.
Okay.
Here we go.
You know what I think.
I think you guys hate each other actually.
We're good.
Everything's fine.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Moving on.
You know, well rested.
The moon is so beautiful.
Don't worry I shaned in the hallway.
It's fine.
What time of day is it?
As you guys leave the Lyceum, you enter the main courtyard that leads into it.
You are currently within the cloud top district of Imman.
A clear blue sky, just dotted with clouds ahead of you.
You gather it's probably around two, three o'clock in the afternoon.
No time has passed since the travel was instantaneous thanks to a teleportation.
You are so good.
Would you?
Let's, why don't we take a day or two to recuperate?
Yes, so you guys, we are officially drunk in two different cities.
Wait, wait.
I'm not drunk.
Is our next destination crack house?
I was drunk.
Collect all money.
Let's take a night and then go set off in the morning.
What time is it right now in the day?
I think it's about six o'clock.
Are we drained?
Ride drunk and drink all the ride and lose.
She's day drunk.
Well, drunk right.
We haven't been home and change clothes.
Oh, we are.
You can go to the keep and say hide it.
I need to water the garden.
It's probably half-down.
We'd like to make some servants that do that.
To the keep.
But they don't do it as to the same water.
You guys make your way through from the Tartop District
to the southern edge of Iman to the lower slums.
Outside of the city along the southern wall to Grey Skull Keep.
The visual is welcoming.
It looks standing clean.
And in the distance you could see a figure kind of walking across
the top of the wall,
keeping a watch. As you get closer, you can see it is the image of Cordell.
Cordell, one of the half-ork, yep, the individual that you guys hired along with Shane.
As you approach the front gate, you see what looks like a tent, like a large, thick burlap or linen brown tent.
At our house?
That wasn't there before.
What is that?
Large tent? Where?
Yeah.
Cordell, Cordell.
What is this tent?
Cordell is kind of looking over the edges.
You guys, it's approach.
She gives you a wave.
Oh, hi.
Hello.
And you can see Shane kind of runs up next to him off the top.
She has her cross both ready.
She goes, oh, finally you've arrived.
I'm so glad you could make it.
Yes, this has been here for about two weeks now.
Is someone inside of it?
At which point you hear, like, sudden rustling from the inside of the tent,
and a face pops out briefly.
You can see what looks, humanoid features,
and suddenly darts back inside, and you hear more rustling.
It sounds like pots and metals.
clinking around. I immediately go up and then throw up in the...
As you throw up in the tent, at that moment, you see another person is kind of pushing out
of the tent, and you both have this awkward moment where you both, and he kind of pushes
off you instinctively and kind of writes himself. The tent kind of half collapses behind him,
and he catches himself and stands there at the ready. You see before you, what looks to be
a young man, probably in his late teens, like 19, 20 years old, haphazardly dressed in scale
male armor. Raising.
A long sword, crossbow.
and hand axe and buckler all dangling from his belt,
weighing him down slightly.
His dark brown eyes peer from beneath
his short, tussled ash blonde hair,
and a nervous yet excited smile flashes across his face.
Oh, you've returned.
You, you Percival, the great one who streaks fire
from his tube, and the great druid princess.
I have that taken care of it.
Kilith, right?
And you, you, the dragon-born, who controls.
the elements himself, Tiberius, of the Stormwind family, yes.
I've heard of you.
Don't, don't.
No, wait, okay.
Scanlan, I've heard your tales across the land.
Your woman icing does not reach ears too far from the city.
Well, I'm man too, men too.
That's what you're my meditation?
And you, the twins,
Vaxelan and Vaxalia, oh, the many bodies you've lain at your feet
of the evil that crossed your path,
and the mighty muscled grog.
Oh, oh, hi, I'm besel done.
beside myself.
I've been waiting for this.
Well, the victorious, get it right.
The victorious, yes, yes, of course.
And you are, young man.
I am Kynan Leore, son of Harold the Butcher,
and I wish to join you in your travels.
Oh, darling, you're so brave and strong.
Well, you're welcome to do so.
Oh, Tymer is.
No.
It would be my honor. It really truly would be.
No, no, no. This is not an open membership situation.
He seemed to know a lot about it.
Botsmachina has been together for many years and we've forged our bonds of friendship.
And I can forge my win. I can prove myself.
How? What is your skill, sir?
Well, I've, well, my father, Harold the butcher, well known throughout these lands.
For?
Butchering, I believe.
He's a good butcher, yep.
Well, he is an actual butcher in the upper slums.
But, but, but, I have been training day and night for months
until I was ready to fight alongside you all,
and I now, I humbly offer my sword as part of Voxmarketer.
Are your sword?
Yes, I'm a skilled swordsman.
You are.
Well, show us.
I have an idea.
I trained under old Leonard Fike, an ex-guard captain of Imon himself.
Wait, wait, what was his name?
Lord Linnon Fiken?
Leonard Fike, he was once.
Leonard Fike. As he's talking, I motioned to open the gates.
You hear a shift as Shane and Cordell began to pull the top of the gates, the chains, kind of clengy.
Is he talking to Vex? Are they right talking together?
I'm using inside.
Closer to you.
Go ahead and roll inside.
How close are they?
They're about three, four feet across.
She's closest to him.
I flip a dagger in my hand and I go to the back of his head is what I do.
Just knock them out?
No, no, wait.
Yes, I did.
I did it, it's done.
All right, go and roll on attack.
Thanks.
Don't worry, I'm using the flat end.
Oh good, that's a 17 plus whatever.
Plus a high number.
Oh, you roll 17.
Yeah.
Go ahead and roll.
Snake attack damage.
It's critical because it's before you reacted.
Yeah, but it's the back end of the dagger, all right?
Yeah, so going to roll sneak attack times two.
I go inside the keep.
And you're touching my dice.
The board.
A boy needs a lesson. This is not a life for a child.
Okay, that's good. Jesus.
It's like a million.
Times two.
28, 28 on the sneak attack damage only.
Is that times two? Or is it 28 times two?
Oh, times two. Oh, so that's 50.
He's dead.
No, no, he's not.
He cleaned his head off with the blunt end of the knife.
It means like a level one, you kill them.
You kill them.
It's 56.
Just the sneak attack damage alone.
I'll roll a 1.
And then add the D4 and the modifier for the dagger.
It's 10.
So total of 66 damage.
66 damage, yeah.
66 damage.
But it's not lethal.
As you're having this conversation, you just
behind him and whack right to the temple.
It's like, I'm an assaultsman.
I'm trained.
And he just goes straight down into a pie.
straight down into a pile.
Catch him.
With my bonus action, I pull out one of my remaining healing potions.
Right?
And I shove it in his mouth like this.
Why would you do that to him?
He was just a good, go, go, go, go, go, go, down in.
All right.
Um.
That happened so fast.
Push.
Eventually he's, oh.
Hi, darling.
I take him by the lapels.
But, uh, things move very fast with us.
What happens?
Did I don't.
Hi.
I don't think you understand what you're asking for.
If you think you can handle that...
Oh, Vaxel Don.
This is why he's single.
I've heard of your work for quite some time.
Show me your ways.
Illithid.
All right?
Beholders, large white dragons.
I know it's cool to see her flash a bobs
and this one sing a song.
It's all excitement and craziness and all the rock.
and roll that the kids are talking about.
Listen to me.
You're selling him on this big time.
It's dangerous.
You could die any given day.
So could I. So could she.
So could him.
Maybe not him.
But the rest of us, sure.
Are you really interested in this?
Make an intimidation check.
Oh, little one.
It's mine.
Tough love. That's called tough love.
Welcome to LA, bitch.
That's not bad.
That's a 10 plus.
Because somebody passed me, uh,
He'll ask me that shit over there.
Intended.
16.
16.
He looks at you for a second, his eyes.
His brow kind of comes together, and you can see there's a quiver to his bottom lip.
He goes, wait, wait.
There, there's his heartbreaking.
I thought you're a hero.
It's two weeks to meet you.
How could you do that?
Tell me your name again.
Kynum.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter at all.
You're right.
And he kind of puts his hand up and kind of pushes you way and gets back.
He gets back, pulls the first hand of your hands and kind of takes a few steps away and looks over his shoulder.
You can see now there's tears welling up in his eyes.
And he goes, I just wanted to be a hero.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, right, right, right.
Kainan.
Train him up.
Send him on our mission.
Come back when you're ready.
No, send him on a mission.
No, send him on just right now.
Do you have to do something like gratifying.
Do you know.
Come back when you're ready. Come back again. Train yourself. And I personally, personally, will be your mental.
Make a persuasion rule.
Oh, you better roll good because I'm going to be so mad at you if you hurt him.
What's my persuasion?
Looking for me.
They passed it down, all right. Not good.
I make seven.
He looks back at you and the tears.
No, I'm gonna use luck.
All right.
It's a 20, you know, that's that one.
Central 20?
Yeah.
He looks at you, the tears welling up in his eyes,
kind of blinks them away for a second and sniffles him.
You mean that?
He does.
I do.
I do.
I do.
You will be my right-hand man.
I promise.
Looks over at the rest of he, looks at Percy, looks at Keylet.
Tiberius isn't there, Tiberius has already walked into the keep.
Looks at Scanlan.
Looks at Exaulia, looks at Grog.
He grasps the sword that's currently she that decided, I will.
I'll make you proud.
I will be Voxmachino with you.
I swear it.
I swear it.
And he runs back to his tent, and you see him starts gathering off his things, and begins tearing it
down and he's pulling it up, and he's kind of like, you can see, the tears are still coming
from beneath his grimace, but he's steeled his expression.
I walk over to him, all right? These people can't hear this. I kneel down next to him,
and I put my hand on his shoulder and say, I was once like you. I didn't know what I wanted
or where I was going. I just want you to be ready. We've got some shit to do. When we come
back, we'll start over. You're starting from ground zero.
Starting from the basement, you're gonna work your way up.
And I promise you, I will be ready for you,
no matter what Mercer throws at me.
I promise.
Bressers are God.
Don't question it.
I take him by the hair.
Don't question it.
Just come back.
Don't kiss him. He's 16.
Right on his forehead.
Guys at the rest of his tent and things
and kind of pals in and he's like speeches at this point.
You can see he's partially
torn between like wanting to look hard and ready to do this and also still kind of blown away
by the fact that he's even encountered you guys after all this time. And he takes the rest of his
stuff and holds it one arm and just darts off down the path towards the river and then hops over it
and then makes his way towards the rest of him on and vanishes into the distance.
You know, you might have just sent him to his death.
Why did you have to knock him out?
To go home and train?
Yes, but now you...
We could have trained him?
We almost died ourselves in that temple.
and that pyramid.
He has had expectations in his head.
Are they inside yet?
You guys are walking inside.
So we should have just made him a full fledged member today, right now.
No, that's not what I'm saying.
Or made him a butler.
He doesn't want to do that.
As you guys are having this conversation, you turn into the entrance of the keep and
they're standing arms behind his back as Tiberius, serious faced.
Tiberius sitting right of backs.
Oh.
What's that?
Why did you do that to that don't matter?
He was not ready.
Stop it!
that was aggressive beyond necessity.
We should have trialed the boy.
That was his trial.
There was not a trial.
We'll see if he comes back.
You are far more powerful, that.
You know that.
This boy was a fan at best.
We could have put him to work or something.
I do not agree.
And you think you would have been happy with work?
Yes, for the time we just...
I'm not even happy that he told him to go off and continue training.
I think telling him to go and continue training is a bad idea.
I have no idea what happened.
He now knows.
the facts. He knows his skill level. He knows where he stands.
Talk to a young boy who loves us. He will either go back to being a fishmonger,
or he will come. Son of a butcher. Son of a butcher. Well,
everyone has their own personal power. Or he will come back to me. And if he comes back to me,
I will train him. If not, it wasn't meant to be. He's fine. He won't.
He won't. Oh, no, he won't.
I'm dealing with that as well.
Did you never see The Incredibles?
I'm just saying.
Let's kill Bill.
Bax.
Oh shit.
Yes, tabbilities.
You and Grog, I respect and fear the most out of all of us.
You are cunning and strong.
I could crush you in one close.
You're a hook machine.
Let's just, let's leave it.
Vex, I feel you and am slightly attracted to you as well.
Oh, good.
But Grog and Vax, you are the strongest and most noblest in
cunning of...
You only have because I let you live, just that.
You believe what you believe.
I'm just saying, when it comes to things,
sometimes you really rush into stuff and stop,
because, you know, you can just be tuned sometimes.
At which point you hear a voice ring out from across the courtyard of the keep.
You've all returned!
And you see across the way, Laina, here.
Anyway, Lena, your joyful housekeeper, comes rushing out, arms open to greet you all. You can see
there's a little bit of dirt on the front of her apron, like she's been cutting the hedges
or doing some sort of garden work, and she rushes out, hungry to each view.
Oh, well.
It's been so con, it's been far too long. It's so good to see all of you.
As I see her, I turn to greet, but I want to give Vax a little pinch in the butt.
Okay. A little friend of the pinch. A little twig. A little dragon-born tweak.
Um.
Too.
Maybe? Sorry, it reminds me.
Oh, all done. And she pulls out a little piece of paper. You recognize it. It's used in various arcane messaging.
She can't. Pulls out a small quill and dabbles it, and starts writing a quick message on it.
Closes the lid. It disappears.
What was that? I'm sorry. I was given that just in case you all returned.
Who gave you that? What was that?
Seika Asum Emring of the council.
The Ranger. He said as soon as you all returned, I was supposed to let him know.
He had very important business with you.
Maybe from the future, don't do that until we tell you. It's okay to do that.
Right.
No, no, it's supposed to do.
Seeker.
Seeker Emering, you said?
Of the Council of Tardor.
Yes, yes.
No, he's an ally.
No, he's fine.
It's just, you know, maybe if we wanted to like take a little nap or something.
Ask us first.
Oh, okay.
It's fine.
It's fine.
I was given implicit instructions by him.
All right.
Also, could you instruct the, I give her a hug.
I'm sorry, I'm very scaling.
Could you see you two?
No, Tiberius Stormwind.
Could you instruct the security guards?
We can take care of, but we should instruct
the security guards to, if there's a tent outside of the keep,
they should just burn down.
No, no, no.
I'm not let it happen.
I brought him biscuits every morning.
He was so sweet.
We should not have that happen.
Oh, she fed the straight.
Do me a favor, roll up his tent, keep it inside.
If he comes back to ask Paul,
he'd leave anything?
No.
There's like a couple of small pots and pants and things.
He just got it.
If he comes back, let him in.
If I'm not here, let him use my room for as long as he likes
and I'll pay for it.
Don't let him.
Feeling guilty that you knocked him out, bro.
No, I feel perfectly justified.
Oh!
I think you are.
Can we rest before we go see this Ranger?
Let's do it.
Yes.
All right, you guys make your way into the keep.
Lena immediately rushes off to the kitchen.
Begins preparing a welcome back meal for all of you.
You can smell after the next 10, 15 minutes pass by.
That scent of freshly cooked meats and baking bread begins to fill the air around.
Very skull keep.
The halls are kept nice and warm.
It's very clean and is a very welcome sight to be back home.
You take time to rest.
and kind of exhale and go over the sequence.
And as you walk by, you see across the right
from the main foyer, foyer, if you will.
You can see a little bit of the light echoing through
from the temple to Sarenrae, the stained glass itself.
And for a moment, you all kind of take a sad memory of Pike,
wherever she is, hopefully to return to you very soon.
It's just not home without her.
Here's the thing, Scanlan.
How do you look through your poo?
I'm like, can't you look through it anywhere?
Because I have to put from that.
You're okay.
If you'd like to...
You know, I'm feeling a little bit pike sick right now.
I could, I could concentrate very hard.
Just concentrate for a moment and see what she's doing.
Would we be able to see as well?
No, I'd have to describe to you what I see.
Tell us what you see. Unless she's naked, in which case stop looking.
Yeah, in Brooklyn.
Of course, I would definitely stop looking if I saw her naked in front of my people.
in front of my poo.
Oh, God.
Definitely.
You're okay.
Sure, I'm going to try to scry through my poo.
I'm going to be naked.
Okay.
You sit down and close your eyes and begin to concentrate.
Is this the first?
Yeah.
Okay.
And as you begin to focus your energy,
the sense of the arcane mind itself is gathered between the center of the head and the center of the chest.
You begin to join these in the center, and your consciousness begins to glide downward towards your bowels.
your bowels. Eventually, you find a point of connection and you feel your vision transcending
this single point on the primaterial plane. You are brought through this small channel across
the astral sea to connect, and suddenly your vision takes place what looks like a cluster
of dirt to one side and a darkened chamber that is lit by a series of torches. Before you,
you see, still, in slightly muddled, the temple of Sarenrae is partially uncovered.
You can see the large stone archway that is the front of the partially collapsed temple.
You can see now there is stone being brought down the wooden staircase,
and it is being used to slowly build up and reconstruct what was once a beautiful and very well-reveered structure.
You can see in the distance a small kind of light, white-haired gnome figure that is currently,
kind of acting as foreman for this whole construction process and is giving orders and shouts to the...
other individuals here.
Glancing about, you see her step over,
and one person kind of trips and drops a stone,
and she walks up to them and takes them by the shoulder
and lifts them back up and gives them a little hug,
and then picks up the stone and carries it with them
over to where it belongs to the side of one of the walls.
I don't know.
Bired that person, but okay.
A few more moments pass, and you gather this is a,
you know, a slow moving, but a consistent moving
renovation of the Temple of Seren-Ray based on the limited number
people that she has at her disposal to help with the process, but it seems to be going well.
What'd you see?
She was definitely naked.
Really?
No, she was supervising her crew in a fair but firm way.
She was just being pike-driven, radiant, beautiful, and empowered by the spirit of Sarenrae.
She's everything that we think of her and more.
She's beautiful and charming and...
Let's just let it be known that I could kill Tiberius
if I wanted to.
I'm just gonna say that.
It's fine.
Yes, you can of Scandinavia.
Yes.
I mean, that's beside the point.
Pike was glorious and wonderful and confident,
and I miss her so much.
And I hope from time to time I can look in on her.
Any time you want.
Look through your shit.
Well, it's really, it's any part.
It's any bodily fluid.
I could bleed, I could piss, I could barf.
Oh, any time ever, ever.
It's a real thing.
It's a real thing.
Vax.
Vox, is buddy all the time?
Vax pulls out his flask and raises it.
Radial.
Taperin.
Tafed.
I'm raising my flask and I say to pike.
To pike.
The best in all of us.
She really was.
And is.
Our own little inspirational poster
inside each and every one of us.
She doesn't like little, but yes.
Yes. Okay.
As you all drink, a familiar voice echoes from across the hallway.
Pike?
Your food is ready, everyone.
And you see Erwin Dastel, your elderly half-ling man's servant is there standing in his attire, smiling, happy to see you all.
Lina would like you all to know that your meal is ready.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks buddy.
Thanks buddies.
He leads you to the dining hall.
The food is already prepared.
already prepared, you sit down to eat.
Meal is very welcome.
It's the best food you've had in a while.
Very like comparable Southern comfort food.
Like it's just gravy, this, it's beautiful.
Fried chicken lunch.
It's delightful.
A little ways into the meal,
you can see Cordell steps into the room
and kind of glances in for a second.
I am sorry to interrupt, but we have a visitor.
Is it a counselor from Taldore?
It is.
Halfling.
A vitamin for dinner.
Cool, cool, cool.
Does he want some fried chicken?
Yes.
I could ask.
Tell him if he's okay with us being a little tipsy.
Still?
Well, I figured he just kind of kept going.
I'm not drunk.
I drink water.
He steps off.
He just toasted the pike.
The moment comes by and you see Seeker, Asim Emering arrives into the doorway.
You can see him, you know, he's wearing dark, like I said, a leather armor, a very, very deep.
deep, green cloak about his shoulders.
Even at the council meetings, he's dressed for utility.
He seems to be that individual who has his eye in many places
in the room at once.
He's a ranger by trade and paranoid by nature.
His head is shaved bald and he has tattoos across one side
of his half-link face.
And as he walks in, he kind of gives a swift bow and says to everyone,
"'Greetings, I'm sorry to interrupt your meal.
I was notified that you have arrived, and, well, I...
Business I would like to discuss if you have a moment.
Oh, it's bad news.
Would you like a salad?
We're not in the mood for bad news.
I'm feeling like you.
I'm all right. It's not bad news.
It's just something I wanted to run by the rest of you.
No, you're very free to speak.
All right.
He steps and finds a chair at one of the nearby tables,
kind of clustered towards the center where you guys have pushed your dining tables together.
Now,
While you were gone, a venture has been put into motion.
In celebration of the agreed upon construction
of a grand bridge across the Shearing Channel
to the eastern continent of Wynandia,
a dinner is being held here within a week.
This venture is helmed by one lord
and late Briarwood of Whitestone,
as the bridge would be set at the edge of the alabaster, Sierra's.
They are probably en route as be seen.
speak. Now the bridge shall open trade routes with the kingdom of Wildmount across the way.
Now I'm here, because few things escape my eye. Percival, when last we were company, you had shifted
so very uncomfortably at the mention of these two. I ask why? Had I, I hadn't noticed. I did.
Very noticeable. I've had dealings with them before. I find them. I find them. I have had dealings with them. I
I'm trustworthy.
Hmm.
I have my reservations as well.
You should.
My network has been watching their acquisition of White Stone since the Dorolo family
of Felth Disease, and there are far more questions than answers.
I've sent operatives to inquire, but each has sent me a letter of resignation,
instead of choosing to stay within Whitestone under my employ.
Now, our sovereign requested that I extend an invitation to this coming dinner, per your
request to him, Percy. To you, Vaks Machina. I'm here to ask if you will attend, and if so, if I can trust you to keep an eye while I do my work.
What's hey, Percy? What's your name, Percy?
What do we do?
That's pretty cold.
Yes, we will attempt.
Very good. I will contact you in the next few days, and we shall discuss further. Until then, enjoy the rest of your meal.
And thank you. He sits up from his feet.
We're having bread pudding for dessert, no?
Yes.
I'm good, thank you.
When did you say this dinner was taking place?
A week?
In about a week they should be arriving.
No, excuse me, I haven't been worked to do downstairs.
Like seven days in a week?
Maybe.
Seven days in a week or like in a week, like five days.
Like they're expected to arrive within the next five to seven days
the dinner is set for seven to eight days from now.
Got it.
Gotcha.
Wonderful.
I should give us some time.
Thank you for your information.
Thank you for your information.
Of course.
Yes.
I've already looked.
Oh, what does the attire for the event?
She's gone.
As formal as one may muster.
If you do not have suitable attire, it will be provided, but please do notify the council.
Oh, I can lend you one of my jackets.
I'd like to see what they produce.
I don't really do formal so.
We have the fancy monk robes.
We have a wonderful tail.
It's a beautiful.
It's a few clothes in the fancy robes.
In your mouth.
Two levels of me.
Two of one.
Who can figure this out amongst yourselves?
I have business to attend to it.
Have a good night.
Thank you, counsel.
We'll be there, thank you.
Of course.
And with that, he turns around and leaves.
And it's one of those individuals,
whereas he walks away, and this catches your,
I particular.
For a moment, you have to admire the fact
that he takes not but two steps,
and for a second, you swear he was walking,
had about 15 feet at the door, and he's just gone.
He's good.
And with that, we shall end.
No, but I want to talk to Percy.
I have to pick that up next week.
He just ran off to the basement.
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This is Mick Unplug, the voice and face of modern leadership entrepreneur and self-improvement.
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Ever open up your podcast app, scroll forever, and still not know what to listen to?
And there are millions of podcasts, and most of them, they just don't grab you.
That's why I created something you should know.
Every episode is built around surprising, useful, and fascinating ideas.
consistently ranked in Apple's top
200 with thousands of five-star
reviews. But more importantly,
people come back because they learn something
interesting every time.
If you're tired of searching and you just
want something good to listen to,
try one episode of something
you should know right here on the
platform you're listening on right now.
Look, we all know there are a lot of
celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's
only one happy, sad, confused.
I'm Josh Horowitz. And, yeah,
I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly Happy Say I Confused is the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers.
From Andrew Garfield and Scarlett Johansson to Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino for over 10 years and over 700 episodes,
Happy Say I Confused has broken movie and TV news every single week.
That's because I ask all the questions I want to know and more importantly, you want to know.
casting what-ifs, backstage stories, acting pet peeves, and much more. So whether you're into
superheroes, prestige TV, or just the coolest actors and directors alive, you're going to learn
something in every episode. Listen to Happy Say I Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get
your podcasts.
