Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 26 - Consequences and Cows
Episode Date: November 30, 2021Reeling from the aftermath of their battle against the Briarwoods, Vox Machina is called before Sovereign Uriel to answer for their recent destructive behavior. Learn more about your ad choices. Visi...t megaphone.fm/adchoices
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So, picking up after the events of last week,
to give you guys a little bit of a refresher.
After the party returned from their journey
to Vastelheim for quite a few weeks,
they discovered upon returning that the illustrious Briar Woods,
current owners of Castle Whitestone
and overseers of the entire city of Whitestone
and sticking points in Percy's background,
were coming to Iman to meet for essentially
a political banquet with Sovereign Yorriere
Taldore to discuss construction of a bridge, and it was a very political endeavor, and the
council of Taldore was invited, including Vox Machina. There was a week of preparation in going
into this event to see exactly what the Briar Woods were about. Information was gathered at the
spankwit. Vax went on his own little adventure into the Briar Woods room in which they
nearly killed him.
Hey, everybody.
And he knows the shirt till now.
So yeah, the party rushed out to his aid.
Much violence ensued.
The Briarwoods eventually escaped
through some sort of magical means
that was not uncovered.
However, they are no longer in the picture.
The party was left with a destroyed carriage,
a young carriage driver who had his hand shot off by Percy
and was then told to the guards to haul off
and bring to their keep to throw into their cell
for further questioning.
Yuryal was eventually drawn out and confused
by the sudden chaos and vehemently requested
that Voxmachina returned the next morning
to go over what has transpired.
After which the party during this event
had encountered a T-Fling by the name of Lilith
who was masquerading as one of these servants
within the palace of Tal'Dorei, aided them in the battle,
and revealed that she was being hunted by her sisters
in a distant land, and revealing herself here essentially
opened up her physical presence to be pinpointed
and then immediately sought and hunted by whoever was after her.
The party then brought her back to the keep.
They were, and the way back before, they were encountered
by this bounty hunter and a small team of individuals
that were coming with him to seek down,
capture Lilith and bring her back to her sisters.
The party then defended her in this circumstance,
brutally murdering one of them.
So no, brutally murdering two of them,
one of which was then raised and then sent off
as a present to the sisters by Lilith.
And one was salvaged, not given honorable death,
and sent to find his way somewhere northwest
of Imman, possibly towards Vasselheim, or wherever else.
you may find his.
The crucible and Baselheim.
Exactly.
So they then gave Lelith the opportunity to come,
save the night to rest and to keep,
and they all make their way back to Grey Skull Keep
for the evening, and that was where we left off.
So as the evening progresses,
you all manage to get your rest
and kind of gather your thoughts over the rather stressful
experience you had previous evening within the palace.
The next morning comes around,
you all come to Conchurchase,
consciousness, breakfast is prepared by the servants of the keep. As you all wake up and start
getting your meals and kind of gathering what you want to do for the day, two individuals
have not come down their meal. Lilith and Percy.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, good everyone. Not everyone. We're missing two. A male and a female.
Oh. No. Well, I don't know. Percy had a...
Percy was upset.
Maybe he needed some comforting.
Oh, I see.
You said they're having relations.
I'm not saying that.
Perhaps we should chuckle.
No, there are two...
We should totally chuckle.
Okay, but if there's a sock or a gun on the doorknob, don't go in.
Right, go in.
Okay.
Or a ribbon. She wore a ribbon.
Okay.
Well, I was thinking last night, Crog, that we're probably going to be here for a little bit before going...
anywhere or do we go anywhere I mean we have to go see Uriel
who oh right yes also I really want to see Laura for no particular
actually for very specific reasons yes I think he's lying oh one of them is I want to
pick up one of the earrings of the telecommunication does she have it it has been
finished for quite some time we just have to go to where she resides to pick it up
then one of those could have another one.
That rope just takes it to a whole new level.
Yeah, it really does.
So I feel so good.
I'm somewhat entranced.
It's like, I'm telling you it's helping too.
Do I feel a little tingle for myself?
First is the character right?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, beer check?
I'm going to the bathroom.
Six, two.
You wake up, realizing that the morning is transpired,
you reach up and grab,
and what you guys notice is he comes
comes up as there is a dark charcoal smear across one side of his face where facial hair would
once be to match the other side that is currently beautiful quoth and shining in the
dapples of morning light that come through the key window.
You know the remedy for it, you just turn your face in a looking glass.
You look amazing, Grog.
My God, I'm so handsome.
From this perspective.
Right, and then just horror.
Yeah.
Sheer horror.
Broke in the little dust and like fix that form.
Oh, so it looks, it looks small like that?
It looks like dust bunnies.
I like it, I like it.
Beautiful, don't touch it.
The color's a little off, but it looks better
than not having it.
In my head, you're like those like Mr. Woolley, like magnetic.
That's kind of what I was thinking is like,
drawing.
I would shave it and get it even, but let's be honest,
given history, it's gonna take care of itself
near enough. These things don't live very long.
I'm gonna go upstairs and see if our guest, Lilip, is all right.
I don't want to disturb Percy just yet, but...
Alright.
You head to the guest room.
You have one guest room upstairs that resides amongst the rest of the rooms you guys have been
They're gonna be getting it on.
You knock on the door.
Lilith.
Moment passes. No response.
Lilith.
Are you with Percy?
Lilith.
You knock the second time in the door, and it opens a little bit.
It's not really been locked or closed.
I've piqued my head in.
Pick it and look.
Did you check the traps?
Roll a sit, no, okay.
Damn it!
I'm already off.
No, as you peek into the room, the lights are dimmed,
a little bit of candles are in there are over down.
Glancing in, the sheets are clean and set.
The bed's been made.
And there is a small piece of parchment that is folded on the edge of the bed.
Go and read it.
It reads, Vox Mokina.
Thank you all for your hospitality and protection through this past evening.
I would stay, but the longer I remain, the more danger I am in.
And as such, put all of you in as well.
I shall travel across the Osmet Sea to seek the guidance of my cousin Zara,
in hopes of finally getting out from under my sister's baneful gaze.
Nevertheless, I wish you all the finest of journeys.
They hope we meet again soon.
Lily.
How cute.
I go back downstairs.
I like her bow.
Yeah.
It's really great.
I tell everyone that she's gone.
Gone, gone, gone.
No, no, no. She's in Percy's rooms, Catlin.
Let's go see if he's bag in.
All right, let's go.
You run up and purrs.
and Percy's room is the door is already partially ajar.
Boom!
Where is she? Where is he?
Wham? Thank you.
Slams on the side at the door.
Looking in the room, he's not there as the first thing you notice.
However, what you do see are a series of different books
of sketches and designs and kind of half-concocted
blueprints for different things are kind of crumpled and torn across the room.
The bed sheets are thrown off the bed.
It looks like the room has been continuously tossed through some sort of frenzied,
action, either sinking something or just out of emotional frustration, this room is left in
far more disarray than you're used to sing true to Percy's character.
My God, Grog, Percy's a hoarder.
Right.
Or he's in serious distress.
I think it's the previous.
The hoarder?
Yeah, probably.
We must find him, don't you think? Our friend's in trouble. I proceed down to his
tinkering lab or...
Doesn't he have some sort of lag down?
My rooms like shitty, I'm not in trouble.
Well, that goes with your character.
Yeah, you head down to the basement area.
To the right is the cell.
To the left is the workshop.
The workshop door is currently closed.
There's a small kind of slider kind of eye vent
where you can kind of peek through.
Can I reach the eye vent?
You can, if you leap hard enough and catch it on the edge.
I boost him up.
Okay.
Looking inside, you can see the, the,
The forge is a glow.
You hear the tangs of metal being hammered against the anvil,
and you can see the form of Percy kind of framed
against the backlighting of the forge,
just feverishly working away on some sort of project.
Is he naked?
No, I know he's working too hard.
Maybe we should just leave him be.
Seems focused, driven like a madman.
Oh.
Oh, get it.
Like a madman?
I don't think you do.
Oh.
At which point a voice ring
out from across the room. Percy on moving, still continuing his work, shouts over your shoulder.
Please, leave me, B. I have a lot to think about right now.
Would you like a meal brought down?
I'm fine. I'm fine. Thank you. Really. Just, I need some time.
All right. If you're making things, a little ladder for the little perch here might be nice, just in the future.
But not now. That seems low priority.
He stops his banging, walks over and scribble something on a paper, and he goes back, begging, noted.
Ting.
I drop, Scandlin.
And I lean, and I go, beware the water, it burns.
Yes, yes it does, Grog.
Okay.
Good boy.
All right, so we go back up.
Yeah, we go.
Tell the fellows, Percy's in a mood.
He's creating right now.
I think we should just leave him be.
Understandable.
Let him get it out of his system.
I'm really worried about him.
Yes.
I'm going to...
Matthew?
Roll.
Just rolling.
Just rolling.
Rolling through.
I'm trying to teach it.
I'm trying to teach my pet something, but roll 12.
Four.
Oh, I want to follow.
To follow.
To follow.
Okay.
You gather, based on the recent intensity of trying to teach things to Lockheed over the past week,
Lockheed over the past week. You've succeeded in a few. There was a bit of balking frustration
that perhaps you've overstepped a little bit and Lockheed feels maybe there's less of a
friendship here more than a real master-servant relationship, at least in this moment,
and does not seem to be receptive to your attempt.
Oh, so. How's everybody in a mood today? I know. It's just, uh,
Percy's hate smelting downstairs.
Lucy has good reason to hate smelt. He seemed rather disturbed that the Briarwood's got away.
Yes. I feel responsible.
Just out of curiosity, did anyone else hear him,
did anyone else just happen to hear what he said in that fight last night?
I was a little preoccupied by watching him shoot a servant boy over and over and over again.
Yeah, it was great. It was after that, actually.
What did you say?
Never mind.
What?
No, no, spit it out.
What do you say?
What is he can't say?
I don't know.
It's hard to say.
Is it a curse word?
Is it fuck?
Is it fused?
Is it something?
No, that would be alarby.
Tee.
Oh, geez.
All right.
Donky wang.
This is going to really off subject.
This is going on.
I'm going to go down to my laboratory.
What did he say?
He said, it was winning a little.
It was winning.
was screaming the cluster of things as he was shooting that like mercenary in the face and he
said what are you doing you have no reason to be here your soul is now forfeit
really that last part is the most important one the first stuff is like you know
fairly average but yeah your your your soul is now forfeit
It's a good line.
I just thought he was just trash talking.
You think there's more to it?
I thought it was maybe a line, and then I just couldn't.
It seemed really aggressive and strong and specific.
You know, like, so I made me think a lot.
I don't know.
Did you ask him about it at all?
We haven't seen him since that happened.
What do you think?
What?
Do you think, like, his, his, his, his, his,
pepperboxes, what?
I think he's not telling us everything.
That's for sure.
Well, we all have some secrets.
Yeah, but screaming your soul is now forfeit.
That's not like a secret.
That's, you know, saying you pee the bed
when you were a kid, that's like a secret.
I worry too, but he did lose his entire family.
He did pee the bed when he was done.
Oh, really.
I'm assuming.
Yeah.
But he lost his entire family to those people.
Sure, but he wasn't screaming us at the Briar Woods.
He was screaming less at a random mercenary.
Well?
What does that mean?
Maybe his soul is perfect.
To what?
Dev.
Maybe we keep an eye on Percy.
Okay.
That's a fair point, though.
We'll keep an eye on him.
He seems to be an afresh.
fragile state right now.
Peresley's not the one that killed a poor old
woman though. Did we kill her?
Oh. I'd like to
point out that last night and all this time.
I thought we just made her sleep and wand away.
I used my researcher. Nope. Total massacre.
I'm Tiberius.
Tiberius.
Mutilation. Tiberius, you killed an old woman.
Like a positive factor. I'm not there. I'm not there.
She wasn't an old woman crossing the street. Yeah, that's actually
another thing I wanted to talk about. That was
That was also really intense. You know, I get it. I, I, I
get it. It was a hard day. We had a, it was a hard day and you know, we tend to get a little
aggressive sometimes after hard days. We've all been there. But he didn't just like murder
an old woman. He, he chainsawed her a sleeping unconscious woman. Are you saying that we
should take it down a much or maybe not brutally destroy the bad guys, but just give them
You also were the only other one who seemed to be kind of confused as to what was going on.
And...
I shot her. I shot her in the back.
Let's be honest.
I didn't... Shane saw her, but I did shoot her in the back that she was running right.
I made her go to sleep. That was peaceful.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm a nice guy.
That was good. That was... that was...
I was any further shoulder if it makes any difference.
Sure.
You did have that sweet little run, which was so cute.
I just don't want...
Are you saying that...
Are you feeling morally...
Are you taking moral exception to some of our behavior?
That might exactly be what I'm saying.
Man, you see this is why I like you, Scanlan.
You're so much better at the words than me.
I have many reasons to be liked.
I don't think I even knew that's what I felt until you said it just now.
Well, this is something perhaps you should pray on and think on.
And if there's something you'd like us to be like us to be.
to change about our behavior, we can consider that.
We're all friends, we're allies here.
We should give pay respect to you.
Stanley, Killeth.
I just don't want us to.
It's a fair point.
We don't want to be corrupted by the very evil
that we mean to stamp out in this world.
Exactly.
I don't want us to live who we are.
She was.
But your point is taken.
She was a really old woman.
But she wasn't the secretary.
She was trying to kill.
She was a fighter.
Sure, but she was unconscious.
She actually didn't do anything either.
Yeah, she didn't really do anything at all.
She could have been taking notes.
She had a wand.
Yeah, maybe for writing or throwing.
I'm not saying she wasn't a threat
and I'm not saying we shouldn't handle threats.
I'm saying maybe we shouldn't dissect a woman
with a spinning crawl blade who's sleeping on the ground.
All right, defenseless running away.
She was fleeing.
This is constructive criticism.
and we'll take it as such and I for one will maybe not desecrate and denigrate bodies.
Just beds and temples.
Beds are fair.
I don't know.
I mean, I see what Keelot's saying, but I don't really want to cramp your style scammer.
I promise you keep shitting on days.
Please.
Oh, I'll shit on things.
I mean, please.
We're like the A team and that's your specialty.
I don't really want to see.
You should just shit when you feel the earth.
When you feel the Earth.
What time is it?
Do we need to be getting to Euryo?
Oh yeah, which is it?
At this point is probably pushing at 11 a.m. close to noon.
Oh, trade the day, God, go.
We should probably be getting to the palace.
Ah.
Tiberius? What did you say you were doing down there?
Hmm?
What would say you were doing down in your, uh, your laboratory?
Um, well, well, I was doing my research stuff last night and this morning.
This year's my...
Which one?
It's just my ability because of my class.
My, my back sort.
What I was doing is
I was writing now the
The noble sage
Well there's a noble
And there's a sage
Yeah, no
And I like
I spliced them because it made sense
So like
No, no the noble part is the RP
The sage is the perk
Okay, gotcha
That's good enough
All right, cool
Yeah
And I was
I'm reading down the sigil
To the keep
That's completed
Okay
So the sigil is there for you
All right, and so as the sage, all right.
Okay, see yeah.
Not difficult to research, there are a number of books
that do, they're older books and the things
that were kind of installed as part of the construction
of this laboratory for you and information
that you kind of gathered since.
There are various vistieri's and gatherings of information
about the dangerous denizens in the countryside around you.
And it is a very dangerous place outside of the few
points of civilized society that has kind of built up
its own defenses.
Throughout the evening and the morning, you've managed to find eventually a piece that talks about
various undead entities in the process of undeads and necromantic magics that have been perverted
throughout the generations to defy the natural cycle of life. You do come across an entry
about vampirism. It is extremely rare and was largely thought abolished, close to 200 years ago.
There are very, very rare whispers of any sort of cases out there, and usually as soon as
something comes to any sort of public knowledge, large mobs gather, and whoever, who was infected
with this horrible, horrible state was hunted down and killed. What you do learn from this
is religious symbology, while classically thought to have an effect on people affected with
vampirism, actually has no effect.
It's more of a superstition, but does not actually have any negative impact on the individual.
However, certain things that do render a vampire and render it easier to destroy the presence of sunlight.
Anything that counts of sunlight can damage them, progressively the longer they're in it,
prevent them from restoring their health, and ultimately destroy them, turn them to ash, should
they'd be brought to the brink of death
in the presence of sunlight.
Also, very quickly and consistently rushing water.
Being held into a rushing stream
or under a waterfall would have a similar effect
to sunlight.
You do also know that the stake in the heart
is also considered to be a way to destroy them.
It does not actually destroy them,
but it does render them paralyzed.
And it has to be done when they're in their resting place
within their coffin.
and or the dirt that is considered their resting location.
Usually that is the beginning step
to find and locate where the vampire is resting,
stake in the heart, and then carry the body
to sunlight or rushing water, and that's how they're permanently destroyed.
You also find out that if a vampire is thought
to be killed under any other circumstances,
the body turns to mist and is nigh invulnerable
and eventually finds its way back to wherever they've hidden
their resting place to recover within a very short period of time,
making them extremely dangerous unless you have the right situation, the right conditions,
to bring them to that point. So that information is now at your disposal. It is now at your
disposal. Wonderful.
Do you want to tell us what you...
I do it right. It's done. I do it right. It is done.
Knowing that I take some files and I want to check if I can...
I can't do anything yet. I'm gonna, that's it. I'm gonna go upstairs.
Okay. So as you guys have kind of gathered the time
and what you might want to be going forward and doing for the rest of the day,
Tiberius comes upstairs with a bit of a smile and an air of confidence.
Oh good, you're back.
Tibbs, we were just discussing sort of the future of the group
and the direction we've been taking, and a point was introduced
that maybe perhaps, you know, we started as a sort of a, most of the direction.
The mercenary group is a bit strong, but this alliance we have formed out of convenience.
You know, we all needed to eat.
But now that we're at the statue we are, in a keep, in imam, friends to the emperor,
we want to figure out what we're doing here.
Do we want to be just powerful badasses who walk around getting what they want?
Yeah.
Or are we trying to enact some positive change in this world?
Yes, absolutely.
That's what my items are for. I've only found one of them. There are still three or four, if they even exist up there. There are countless things to go and venture forth and explore.
Were your items?
Yes, the artifacts. The ring of boros, the old hag. That is the next step in my quest. She told us it would be in the Faywood. Right? Faye wild.
Faye wild.
Of course.
Damn it. Researcher.
Burw-whir.
That is where we need to go.
But that's why we would run into her in Vasselheim.
Yes.
And she wouldn't tell me anything more.
How do you plan to use your items for better good in the world?
Well, you've seen how I've used my mending wheel, so countless ways.
Yes, thank you. You healed my cask.
You healed that rug.
I will always be grateful.
Moreover, we've proved to the council that all of the
the things as I went on this journey for to begin with.
It was true and all for not.
And really, to gain the respect of my father and everyone else.
You don't know how hard it is to be a chromatic dragon in a metallic world.
It's not easy.
Well, there's no question that you are an invaluable member of Oxmachana
and our friend and our family, and that is not in question.
This is hoarse, which is why I have pledged my loyalty to you all.
and I need your strength as well.
There is no way I could accomplish my mission alone.
I mean, Grog, when I ran into you into that one bar,
how many were you men were you beating up?
I would count it eight, if I recall.
I think that sounds right.
He can't count.
Right.
It's happening.
Yeah.
Here was this brute who I would have mostly ran away from.
Here you were, and I found it to be rather charming.
And I figured, well, that's some good company to keep, brother.
And then I met the rest of you, and look where we are now.
Tiberius, the point of this is...
Yeah?
You killed an old woman last night, very brutally.
Please, maybe don't do that again.
She felt nothing, but of course.
And I was giving my new Crawlblader, good old try.
Yes, you were.
Maybe not on sleeping people anymore.
Oh.
People actually attacking us.
She was...
Okay, pardon, I guess.
Well, I think the point is you are your abilities in...
arcane wonder are expanding daily, exponentially.
And perhaps, you know, be a little tentative,
do a little practice run in the woods on your own
once in a while and see what the effects are
before you go, are there woods, whipping it out.
There are.
This is an intervention.
We love you very much, but you killed an old lady.
I love the way you kill people.
Yeah, well, yes.
But we're all on the up and up now, right?
When raises a hand to me or Vak-Makina, they are going to die.
Yeah, yeah, they are.
It's simple, I do not know why this is a discussion.
I won't be as cruel.
Raise her head.
If she doesn't really do anything.
We are not.
She was really, really, really awful.
She was attacking us, and then she died.
Keyleth.
Keyleth.
What?
Clearly, we all love you as family.
Yes, of course.
And nobody blames you, but you once killed a child.
where none of us blame you for them.
Is it too early to start drinking?
I'll pull out the caskabail.
And that happened in the heat of battle?
Yes.
It was a complete accident.
You know I'm really sensitive about that Vax.
I'm really sensitive about that Vax.
I'm well aware.
I'm well aware.
So, I'm just saying, you know.
And that was difference.
Yes, it was a child.
It was an accident.
As opposed to, as opposed to...
That was pretty strong to say.
She was trying to say.
Yes.
To somebody who was opposing us.
That was a child who was innocent.
She was a child who was innocent.
Oh, was he put in us in two?
I don't remember, actually.
It all falls apart.
Anyway.
I'm being puppeted by sorcerer Michael Jackson.
No one agrees with you today more than I.
Damn, Michael Jackson.
And I think we can adjust our perspective slightly.
Right, Grog?
What's the word?
See?
Kill soft and forward.
I'll show you how.
You just have to do it really slow.
Uriel's waiting for us.
Let's table this.
We'll stick a pin in this discussion.
We'll all be thinking long and hard about this.
It wasn't intentional and everybody knows that.
Absolutely not intentional. No.
I turn into Minxie and start walking towards the house.
Minxie! I'll go give a little discredit.
So you guys gather and make your way into the city of Yomontrope?
Actually, before we head towards Uriel, we probably
should, do we have any sort of proof that the Briarwoods actually did horrible things and it
wasn't us attacking it?
Well, I've got these little scars right here.
Are they still there?
Yeah, they are still there.
And the clerics that are healing.
Frigin sting, man.
That's true, that's true.
That's true.
All right, cool.
Just making sure there's lots of things.
Then then there was, what's his name, Awesome pants who was there.
Seeker Assum.
Yeah, Seekar Assum.
Alura saw everything as well.
Did you see the fight?
Allura didn't see the fight.
She knows what's going on.
We know she knows what's up, but whether she can be used
as reliable witnesses.
We've got multiple...
We're good, let's go see Uriel.
There were those guards, too.
There was guards outside the door.
They were incinerated.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, plus they were the Briarwood's guards anyway.
One of them was still alive.
Yeah, where did he go?
He went away with the Briarwoods, I'm going to assume.
Oh, dick.
I'm scared.
I'm still scared.
We go to see Uriel.
Okay.
I've made a choice for the team.
As you're having this discussion, all of you make your way into the city of Amman,
across the districts of the cloud top, you're greeted and met within the gate into the central district there.
You make your way to the palace of Tadore through the front doors,
and the guards that are there lead you in, and one of them says,
Yorio is waiting within the throne chamber.
You guys are led down the main hallway
into the very center of the palace.
I come out of Minksey.
Okay.
You come out of that.
The nervous guard, thankfully, puts his weapon away,
and it's like, oh, Lady Kielith, my apologies,
and puts his spear to the side.
Trinit's still here, though.
I make a buzz over to that specific guard and say,
do you have a lost and found here?
I have this really, really badass serpent-style belt.
Sometimes it crawls around on its own.
Sometimes it's just a belt, and I lost it here the other night.
And I'm really hoping, I mean, it ties everything together.
Is there anyone I can check with?
Check back after you've spoken with the sovereign, please?
Yes.
Thank you.
It leaves you guys on.
As you head on the main hallway, and you recall this hallway,
this was a long, dangerous trek the first time you came to the palace.
This is where Yoreal's family was possessed.
This is where you had your battle with the Glaberazzo.
This is where Pike was slain.
This is where you had to pull the shadows.
from the bodies of his family.
This is a very, very emotional place
that you really haven't been to since that sequence of events.
So walking in already has this kind of tenuous state
of low simmering energy.
As you're brought into the main chamber,
you can see there is the dual thrones for Uriel and his wife.
His wife is not present, the family is not present,
just Uriel sitting on the throne.
There are a few guards on the different entrances to the room.
And as you walk in,
Uriol just sits down the throne
and gives you acknowledgment and kind of ushers you.
and kind of ushers you into the room.
You all step in, trick it kind of behind you,
keeping an eye up like a bearers want to do.
You guys make your way up towards the very edge
of the central rays, Dias for the Thrones,
are currently set up on.
You now see on the opposite side of the room,
Seeker Assum and Alura walk in,
as well as Arbiter Brom, who is the cleric
that is the master of law in the city.
They walk up and kind of flank the sides of the throne, stepping back a little bit, to not kind of gather all the attention, but definitely be there as a show of support.
As they enter, the doors on the other side of the room and the door behind you open, and roughly 30 guards enter the chamber quietly.
They all kind of filter in, blocking all the exits. The doors close. No weapons are drawn.
but there is a very strong showing of muscle
in this room that you weren't expecting for this meeting.
Once all the guards are settled
and a really awkward silence hits the room,
Uriel stands up from the throne
and looks upon you pacing slightly back and forth.
Thank you all for joining me.
I must say I am troubled by recent events
and I wish to speak to you regarding them
before taking any action.
I owe you that much for all you've done for me.
Before you left for Vasselheim, you showed immediate interest in the Briar Woods.
Percy in particular. Where is Percival?
He has... He's banging away at the keep.
Well, he's not feeling well today after the events of last night, so he stayed behind.
But then, please relay this conversation to
him as soon as you see him. So you exhibited interest in the Briarwoods before leaving for
Varselyan. I, through trust, did not inquire as to why, but upon your return, eagerly told
you that they were coming to this feast and invited you as part of the Council of Tarduri
to join this feast, as it was your request. My gracious he followed through. You showed up,
meal was had, questions were asked, although a few curious ones, I did not pry. Now, I have since been
notified and seen a bit of the aftermath that you Vax-Marchina seemingly attacked our guests shortly. Please,
listen. Attacked our guests shortly after the meal in their own guest quarters, forcing them to flee
after you destroyed the hallway, ruined their carriage, murdered two of their guards, two more outside,
and leaving Seeker Assoon to witness this entire process. Asumkin gives us.
You then tortured the carriage driver, requested he be sent to the dungeon beneath your keep,
and upon my sentries returning from Grey Skull to deliver him, they find a freshly murdered
old woman not far behind the path you took. Not long after, Sigur Asum found me
incorporated most of this unexpected violent behavior. I then asked Abbotabram here to
divine the nature of this murder, and through his divine sight through the goddess Ayune, comes
to tell me it was none other than you, Tiberius,
that slaughtered this elderly woman while she slept.
Yes.
Now I'm quite disturbed by the events of these past vaulting hours,
and I would like to hear an explanation.
Arbiter, if you could please prepare the space.
The Arbiter Brahmin steps forward and pulls forth
from underneath his robes, a necklace that contains a holy symbol.
The same symbol you saw across the temple beneath the Slayer's take,
an eye-like inscription of the god-eye.
Brahms it and kind of looks about you all and prepares this slight hand gesture and you
feel a slight tingle across the skin that just lasts a few seconds.
Can I recognize the spell he's casting?
I also go ahead and make, this be a religion check.
Just doing a cleric thing, yeah?
Yep.
Seven.
All right.
Unable to ascertain the nature.
However, the incantation completes.
No seeming noticeable effect.
Brahms and steps back in the line of the Thrones.
I want all of you guys to roll charisma saving throws.
Son of all.
Always a problem.
Wow.
Thanks.
19.
11.
I get advantage and I rolled a 27.
Nice.
Okay. Bards.
19.
All right, good to know.
Yoreal then looks to the rest of you.
So,
I've said my piece for the moment.
Explain.
I step forward.
Can I do a quick insight check on Hussune
to see if I can still recognize if he's still affected by the mind control thing?
Go ahead and make an insight check, sure.
Oh yeah.
Twenty-eight.
Glancing at Assume, the way he's looking at you
and the general tension and feeling of the room you gathered that Assume is not
his normal self completely.
You step forward.
Your ear, with all
respect, I needn't remind you
what the group of people before you put
themselves through on your behalf and your
family's behalf. We almost lost one of our own.
And if that counts for nothing here, then nothing makes sense.
But if that is not enough,
let us start here.
With bribes of vampires.
And that old late,
Lady, who was a butler, by the way, was with this demonoid person who had to fight as well.
Let me do not with him.
One thing at a time.
One thing at a time.
But that's true.
But one thing at a time.
We had prior knowledge of the Briarwood's intentions before this evening.
And I myself went to spy on them.
Here's the thing.
Percy doesn't like them because they killed his family.
All of them.
They took over his home.
after killing his family.
He got away.
He knows this, Gary.
We're trying to protect you.
So the point is,
we all know how dangerous it is
that the knowledge of vampire existence
and the spreading of those vile creatures.
And now we know they do exist.
So however the means that that came about
is neither here nor there.
We know where they are.
And if you're wondering how we know they're vampires,
you're killing them.
I will subject myself to any test, to any wizard or mage in this city, who you know can ascertain the truth, to look through my eyes, to see my memories. I don't know shit about magic, but there are people who do.
Cleric Tristan also treated him last night for his vampire inflicted wound. I know this all looks really bad on the surface, and we did.
not want to cause any disturbance within these hallowed walls.
Of course not.
But there was a danger.
We acted perhaps too abruptly and without telling you.
Uh, and-
But we tried to get your attention.
I called for you immediately as soon as we knew there was danger.
And don't take our word for it.
Anyone.
Have them look in here.
The thing is...
Actually, you take a storm when you...
Silence.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, that's fair.
Silence.
Silence.
You're in my court now.
court now, Stormwind. You put so much weight upon this trust, and you have done a good service,
but also I've heard whispers that you've thrown this trust around in many circles. Remember,
we held a parade in your honor. We spread the word of the good deeds you've done. We, at our own
costs of Amman, built you a keep, a home, at great expense, to show thanks. And also, I believed,
upon allowing to join this council, put us square.
I owe you nothing, just as you owe me nothing.
Do you not want the truth?
I want the truth, but I also want you to understand
the stakes that are here in why there is this question.
As the leader of this, not this city,
but this entire countryside, I have to be sure.
And this is not the first time I've been lied to
by very close, trusted people.
So I have to be thorough.
This is why I offer myself completely into your control
and put myself under your supervision
and any user of the arcane arts you want
to peer inside my mind, let them step up to the plate
because I have nothing to hide.
Also, while you are inquiring about him,
you might inquire about Seagros soon.
If you're worried about lies within your own ranks,
I think you should start with him.
In fact, I actually might actually
You might be able to help Seeger Assume if you will allow me to.
Help him.
Who gets over at Assume and Assume gives a look to Yereal and Yoreal Khanna?
He was mind-controlled last night.
I have had Assume at my side for the better part of 15 years.
He is responsible far more than your Mary Band has ever attempted for keeping and maintaining
the good and lawful state of this country.
Your own family was not themselves.
And you know that.
Look into my mind.
Now, today.
I fear...
You don't need to guess anything.
We'd also do you well to show respect where you are speaking.
Now, I would assign a lura to such an endeavor.
However, it has also been noticed that she is grown quite friendly and attached with your group.
And in this circumstance, there is question.
So you will be, in a few days, assigned an individual to this ritual of which you are presenting yourself.
Uriel.
The Briar Woods, regardless of what you may think they may be or we do, that will show in time.
Have shown nothing over the past five years, but graciousness and gone through all proper channels.
to establish this relationship between our city and theirs.
Far more than the previous family ever attempted.
However, one may smile and smile and still be a villain.
I...
That goes both ways.
Now please.
Look, just let me do a quick restoration spell on Hussum.
If nothing is wrong with him, nothing will happen.
It's harmless.
It's like...
It's like taking medicine when you're not.
sick, it can't hurt. And if I am wrong, continue on, we can
please consider your... Have facts tested, please. It'll take ten minutes. What can hurt?
Up until last night, he was himself. Trust us that now he is not. He came to us.
There has been nothing about his behavior at all to insinuate any change of anything of this sort.
I've known the man for quite some time before I even took this throne. However...
And that can be the power of the power of his sort.
of a very high, high-powered mind control spell.
I will, in the good graces,
and the relationship we forged, allow this.
Assume, I go all right,
assume kind of gives a nod.
Well, if this is to be how it is, certainly.
He steps forward, the half-ling approaches you,
looking you in the face.
All right, you would like to attempt
your greater restoration spell?
Uh-huh.
Can I cast, first, I meditate for a second,
and I cast enhanceability on myself?
As a note, as you begin casting,
you notice the guards all go for their weapons and just ready themselves uncertain of what's about to transpire.
There's a tension in the room based on what this is going to be.
So, so you first cast...
Oh, uh, um, manen padmeh. Oh, um manne podme home.
Oh, mona, pardon me home. Omm mani podme home.
All right, so first you cast enhanceability on yourself, you say?
Am I maybe inspired by that?
Sure.
Sure, in the tension of the room, the slow droning hum of the gnome, which you can notice,
some of the guards kind of look at each other confused and assume puts his hand of like, hold off.
It's tube and throats, take it.
All right, so you cast, first you cast enhanceability on your...
Self.
All right.
To enhance...
I know.
She's gonna enhance something.
Wisdom.
Wisdom.
Okay.
So, you reach out with greater restoration.
Mm-hmm.
You complete the ritual.
You touch onto the arms of a assume.
It fades and you see it in his eyes there's like a moment of clarity and an inhale.
It's like a slight gasp. Like some realization hits him.
And his expression changes and looks towards you and just goes,
he puts his hands out like this for a moment, just trying to almost trigger something.
Go ahead and make a wisdom check.
So, D20.
Oh no, make an insight. Make a straight insight.
This is more of an inside roll here.
Okay.
Uh-huh.
Uh, 29.
Who?
You get the sense through the subtlety of physical motion and expression, Assume is telling you,
just go with me on that.
He steps back into the place next to the throne.
There's a brief moment of pause.
There he also says.
And, Assum, Assum goes.
My stance has not changed.
I know not what she is attempting or thought the situation was,
but it appears to me that this was either misinformation,
misinformation, or at least at the time being, hopefully not a lie. But I believe Brahma's
taken care of that, yes?
If Rom gives an odd. I certainly have hoped to.
Uriel goes, hmm. All right. Here's the circumstance. As it stands, I fear I must revoke
boxmarking as membership in the Council of Tadouré until further notice, for the safety
of our countryside and the current tension in our relationship.
Objection. That's it, I just wanted to say that.
Please continue. I just wanted to note it that we object strongly to this.
I understand, and this will only continue until all of our investigations are convicted.
Are we still allowed free, free reign to roam about as we please? Are we under arrest for anything?
You are not under arrest. You are revoked from the council and you will be closely watched
until our investigations are complete.
How long we are investigations take? Looks back to assume the swims is. Well, it depends
on how quickly we can require the information. It could be weeks. I'll do my best to make it
thorough and quick. Are we allowed to leave the city in that time?
Uh, uh, uh, Uriel looks like just.
May leave if you wish, know that there have been precautions taken.
Should you attempt to flee, we will find you.
And when are you to look into my mind?
Sirius.
Weirdo.
Seriously.
Freaking ends it right away.
Can you read my mind? There is no spoon.
We are to speak to the Lyceum to find a proper individual of sufficient power and trust to do this as Allura right now.
right now is being kept out of the scenario.
Are we allowed to speak with Alora?
If you wish, outside of these chambers.
Do what you must declare your name.
I would like very much for this all to be true what you're saying.
But do not flee.
Do not give an inclination that you attempt to escape this judgment,
for we will take that as a sign of guilt.
We have no intention of going anywhere.
Should we conclude that you're actually
actions were beyond reason, and the moral fibril of this council before you return, we
will have no choice to put a bounty on your heads should you not return.
I really, really do not wish to do this.
And when we prove that we are indeed...
Do not make me do this.
I stand up no need for threats, friend. Are we done here?
I want to believe you are. I ask you, show that my trust has not been misplaced all this time.
Now you may leave.
I look forward to the...
Second parade you'll throw for us after our names are cleared.
Anyone?
I'm out.
I turned to the guards that were grabbing at their weapons, and I flinch real fast.
And then I went.
Four.
Bitch.
As you guys go back out the doors that you entered, the guards now, a little closely following as you exit,
leading you out of the palace down the front steps, and
essentially stand at the front of the palace gates.
I'm sorry, I was just talking to one of your friends.
Have you seen a belt that he's shaped like a snake?
Sometimes it moves around on its own
and it answers to the name Simon,
but usually it's just a belt and looks really cool.
Have you seen it? Is there a lost and found I can check out?
It's very dear to me.
Garry just kind of looks through a second and goes,
I think you've got more important matters to deal with
before you go looking for a belt, sir.
It's actually a really...
Where's that other guy?
He was more receptive to this.
Do I see that other guy?
Dhabi.
Seriously.
All turn around and start ascending the stairs.
It's all the fan art.
It really makes sense to have him.
Only.
No?
They don't appear to be listening.
No.
We'll put an eye out for it.
100 gold to any chap who finds it and holds on to it for a foot.
Two of them stop in their step for a second,
and then keep walking.
I'm a nice guy.
Go make persuasion roll.
You're going to get like six belts thrown at you.
No, it's terrible. It's terrible. Six.
It was a brief pause.
Really nice.
But also a brief pause.
Right.
I'm athletic.
We'll break in tonight and find it.
Can we go outside?
Yeah.
I'll just risk it all.
No.
All right.
So you're now currently.
They're in the cobblestone
street of the Cloudtop district, removed from the Council of Tal Dorei, and left in this
interesting circumstance. Kielas, what happened? Your magic didn't work. No, it worked.
No, it worked. What happened? It worked. It worked. He, um...
But Assume lied. He gave you a magic winky face. Yeah, essentially, yeah. He gave me like,
a... Like a... What do you think it means? What does that mean? Does that mean Uriel's under
the control? I didn't understand. Is he playing some sort of long game here?
It must mean that we have something to fear from Uriel
or someone else close.
I don't know who to trust anymore, to be totally honest.
Really?
Really?
I mean, he, he, he came, it worked.
I can feel it break, it worked,
and he's got some sort of long game.
I don't know if it's because he doesn't want Uriel to know
for whatever reason.
I don't know if it's because he has some deeper ulterior motive.
I don't know.
You think he was faking that he was healed and maybe he wasn't?
Maybe we have to bring proof of their vampirism back?
No.
Oh.
Wait, it's no to Laura, to Vex.
I'm a Vex.
What was your question?
To bring back proof of them being vampires.
Proof would help.
Hey, don't we have a prisoner?
Oh shit.
Can't we question the prisoner?
Oh no, is he like bleeding out?
What if he's dead?
We're so screwed!
No, I made sure.
I made sure.
Yeah, the little kid, the guy that Bersie shot the hand off of.
I carterized this one, I remember.
We could question him, he could have proof.
Let's go back in question.
Oh shit, I hope everything's okay.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, I go.
Oh, Tiberius.
Wait a minute.
Has the chair.
I've got the conch.
I just really mean to go to Aurora.
She was our best interest back now.
We get it. You want her body.
No, he does.
Bro and chicken bro, go.
There are several reasons to go.
We need to get the earring of telescription.
We need, I need her to enchant something for me too,
as well as the fact of we need,
I fear that the keep may be in danger.
I would like to ask her if she may be able to set up a warding spell for a warp.
Can you go get her and bring her to the keep?
I need to find out if this boy is all right.
We can do that, that's all right.
We can split up.
I can go with you.
the palace doors open and you hear the quick footsteps of Allura rushing from the palace now
kind of running towards you guys.
Saving the day. Again.
She rushes up and she's coming out of the palace?
She's coming out of the palace behind you guys.
Like after the council had just closed, the meeting had finished. She basically gave chase to you guys and is now catching up to you on the street.
What the shit happened in there?
We were just talking about you.
Everyone, um, don't fully know.
What happened last night and...
And she looks to you, Tiberius, and says,
You didn't, did you?
Please tell me you did not kill that woman.
Oh, I absolutely did.
But she was attacking us.
It looks bad, but she was a threat.
Her and another one with this, what was he, a Tifling?
The name the broker, attacked us, and...
Brom's...
Brom's divination is very clear.
And he divined that the woman was currently filled with fear, attempting to flee an unconscious
when she was murdered.
How did she flee when she was unconscious?
No, that's true.
She fled.
We knocked her out.
We butchered her.
We killed her.
Just accept it for what it is, guys.
I'm...
I just worry.
I know not what happened here, and I heard what you said.
And I honestly...
Do not trust the Briarwoods myself either.
There was something about that meal
and the conversation and the presence
that just put me off entirely.
It was strange.
And what you say makes a lot of sense.
Vampirism is a bit beyond what I was expecting.
And I did sense some powerful,
masqueraded arcane essence from Lady Briarwood.
I would recommend for this
to do your best to be thorough in this,
bring back any and all information you can.
From the words I hear,
you probably have it best a few weeks
before this comes to a close.
And if you don't have enough evidence
to support your argument,
I don't know.
Oh, shit.
All I know how to do is break locks,
but I've seen these people do things with magic
that have defied expectations.
Why can no one look into my memory?
You have looked across
Miles? Can not anyone look into my mind and see...
They're going to do it!
Yes, but that might not be proof enough for them.
Someone could have corrupted your mind.
You have to understand. Not all or cane works that way.
There are magics that can dabble in that realm, but none that specialize that in here and I'm on.
Divination, yes, there are elements of that. We can see the physical.
We can see certain events.
But to look into one's mind is...
What of truth.
There are no spells that.
spells that can divine as someone speaking true.
That was attempted during that council,
but after you left Brom notified,
Uriel and the council that many of you were resistant
to the spell, and as such,
I could not be verified.
Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
I give myself to the spell.
Your own power.
Just tell us, you do it.
We won't resist it.
resist it. What the shit? Doesn't even trust the touch.
If we came back with proof.
What sort of proof do you think they would accept?
The head of Lady Briar would.
It'll disappear the minute we kill her or something.
Vampires, I don't know what they do.
She kind of gives a thought of that.
She goes,
Interestingly enough, if an artifact or an item brought forth from them
could be divined, that should tell all.
Is there still the remaining wreckage of their carriage?
Is that still there?
Still there.
The carriage has been disposed.
It's been picked over, and there were remnants
within the rubble of some sort of a sigil
of teleportation, but that is no.
Sigil.
I must see if you will.
I must look at that.
What sort of artifact, like a brooch?
A handbag.
We're talking about that motherfucker's teeth.
Vile blood.
Sigil.
Sigil.
We're all learning together.
Damn it.
Sigoologoon.
That.
That, I believe, has all been investigated and kept under locking key with Soom.
You would have to speak with him.
I would like to help. I cannot come with you. I'm working on something else at the moment.
Ah, then she reaches into a pocket and brings out your...
Oh!
...hearing of transcription.
And thank you so much, please.
As she hands it to you.
She gives you a really, really concerned look,
and just gives it to you and kind of hands it back.
And it's a look of, and it hits you.
It's a look of, of disappointment with a hint of heartbreak.
Oh, it's the worst.
I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.
I feel like I failed you.
Yeah.
She looks back to you as you take it, goes,
do your best to clear your name.
I shall.
I know you come up, noble blood,
many of you stand to inspire many others of Novel Blood.
Celebrated heroes at this city, there's a lot more on the line here besides just your well-being.
There's a lot of people in this time that look up to you.
Nevertheless, ah, I've already said more than I should.
Good luck.
Thank you, all right.
She kind of looks behind, and you can see she takes this small hood of the same material of her robe that she's wearing and puts it up over her head
and rushes off towards her white tower,
towards the edge of the Cloudtop district.
Damn, fucking polisage.
No one insight checked her.
She's telling me that.
It's time of treat.
Let's go make sure the prisoner is dead.
Yeah.
So wait, what are our avenues,
we're gonna have to Colombo this.
What are our avenues of finding proof?
We have a prisoner.
We say as we're walking back to the keep.
Yes.
We have a prisoner we can question.
Who knows if that will,
we'll start there.
Yield anything.
And then we might have to go gather
evidence.
Which means leaving town against...
Yeah.
Well, we're allowed to leave town.
No, no, no.
Yeah, no, no.
He said we're allowed to leave.
We just can't look like we're fleeing.
So we tell them where we're going.
They can even fucking follow us.
I don't care.
So we tell them that we're going to the political...
Find evidence to clear our name.
No, no.
The people that they're trying to create a political relationship with.
We're just going off to invade, you know, your political allies.
Oh, come on, you half- elves, I swear to God.
In the hood of lying.
I want to go, but I just don't think it's smart to tell them where we're going.
We're going on a field trip.
We're going to pick berries.
Fuck old, but we go there.
The only way we can go there is telling them.
What, then we're going there for?
When I talk to assume and get that sigil to that damn briarwood keep, that's how we get there.
Why don't we say we're taking a picnic?
We took a wrong turd.
Hey, it's the briarwoods.
You have to lie to them.
We don't have to lie to them.
We just tell them where we're going, and we can just go there.
You're pretty.
We don't need to tell, especially with that beardy side, Grog.
Don't turn.
It's a full beard right now.
Oh, you're right.
What you do know is the the sigil that a teleportation circle
is attached to is known when you cast or create the circle.
The circle does not necessarily indicate or maintain the sigil
that's attached to.
It's just like a piece of it.
Meaning there are two parts to it.
There is the sigil that it sends to,
and there is the actual the ritual circle that is created.
the circle that attaches to it is not the same as the destination.
There are elements of it that connect it,
but you would not be able to ascertain
like a sigil two white stone immediately
from looking at the initial circle.
Okay.
Thanks for the cups guys.
I just noticed that.
It was just good.
Well, let's go check on this poor.
All right, we'll go check, we'll go,
and then the next step will be.
be to find out, to seek out seeker assume.
Well, but let's tell the truth.
To stop by the temple, quick, pick up at my decanter.
How many errands do you have to have?
I have a bunch, dude.
I have a list.
That's smart.
All right, go run your errands.
We need to go looking on the mystery,
and, uh, yeah, I want to be there when we talk to the prisoner too.
Yeah, let's go talk to the prisoner.
Okay. You guys make your way back to, uh,
Grace-Cull Keep, are you going with them or you're...
I'm doing all the shit.
I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give you this.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna- He's got a list.
I'm gonna stop-
I'm gonna stop it
I'm gonna stop in an armory
dude because I want my cross will reinforced
I don't know what that means
I want to learn a different sigil
The one that I've researched for the waste sphere
Or the the way
I'm coming
The Faye Wild
There's this big city next to it
That I researched that is near it
And in that city
What might be a sigil
So I'm gonna go see if I can learn it
And then and then
I want a monster to come back
And then start enchanting
my blades. Shouldn't you take one of those?
Yeah.
Okay.
I can give it to you. I wrote it down.
I just want to my belt.
Coming soon on Friday nights, the adventures of time being.
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seven
seven to ten every Friday night on Twitter
and then I have to put the dry cleaners for my room
All right so as you begin that process
the rest of you continue back to the keep
as you approach
Gray Skull Keep
there are two individuals
waiting for you at the gate
We didn't ask her to enchant the key
You're not recognized from a distance
Wait wait wait what's to say that again
There's dudes at the key
Two individuals waiting for you at the gate
You can see at a distance, but you don't recognize.
There are handlers probably.
It's Big Brother.
Grob, come on, let's go have a talk.
Yeah, let's do that.
I will go with you.
I walk with her.
We're all going.
Let's go on and arm in one big line.
They're right at our fucking keep,
but it's not like we're all headed the same direction.
Before we see the big guy.
He doesn't have a ring.
A ring?
A ring.
I have one right now.
I think I do.
I have one.
I have one.
And then only one two.
Three, five.
How far away from the keep are we?
You're probably a good hundred...
Okay, I give it to grow up.
So I think all this happened now.
I whistle really loud.
It's like, who are these bucks in front of the key?
To the guard.
Okay.
That we have, employed.
Oh, shit.
Much a mess.
Okay.
Okay.
So, um...
Try to see.
On duty right now.
It's right now.
He knows on who is on duty, but I'm going to do it at least.
No, this will still be Shane and Cordell.
Would you care for him?
I'm immediately this evening.
Cordell shots down from the top of the wall and says,
I don't think they're a threat.
I will be to judge it as you were.
Frog, keep in mind, these are our allies.
Um, hello.
As you walk up and you get close, you get a better view,
you're expecting ominous,
armored guards, somebody possibly assigned to escort you.
Instead, you're greeted by
what looks to be an older couple waiting at the gate.
A man and a woman, dressed in simple clothes,
weathered skin, and as you call out to them,
they both smile.
You can see deep-set smile lines in their faces.
We hate old people.
Who are you?
Favorite enemy.
They begin walking up, and the man steps forward,
and you can see as these small dirty glasses,
the end of his nose, goes,
Hello, hello, and good afternoon, everyone.
I'm sorry to be a bother.
But unless my eyes and tales do deceive me,
might you all be the heroes known as Vox Machina?
Oh, man, why do we always get fans on my worst days?
Can I inside check to see if these guys are legit?
Legit, what? Old people?
They could be Lord of Lady Briwood, Ron.
Oh, we know, me too.
I did well. I did well. I rolled an 18 on them.
Okay.
From what you can tell, they're both,
happy, simple folk
that are here
with a tension of purpose, but nothing
that seems to set off any alarms.
We are Vox Machina.
I'm sure word of us has spread far and wide.
We're a pretty big deal.
Why have you made this journey to us?
The woman who's kind of holding aside
kind of lets go over his arm and says,
we come to you humbly
as representatives of the farming community
just north of Iman's walls.
Oh, I love farmers.
I am Riley Klaus, and this is my husband, Ben.
Pleasure to meet you.
Hi.
You see, many of us here, we make our living through livestock and small crops.
Ben kind of takes over this point and says,
word is that sovereign will be calling down troops from Fort Daxio for a while,
so the need for meats and fresh produce has been elevated.
The wife, Riley then says,
around this time
over the past two weeks
a number of our finest cows
and sheep have gone missing
no struggle
or mess or signs of
dire wolves nothing
we suspected thieves initially
but we set up our neighbors boy
Kyle to watch over them till sunrise
and he saw the culprit
from what he described of a giant
bird
larger than anything he's ever seen or heard of
Ben then takes over the conversation
but wings at least ten carts long, tip to tip.
Just swoop down, he said, without sound,
and in one motion snatched up one of our most virile bull.
Mr. Simps, just gone like that.
Mr. Simps?
That was the bull.
Oh.
Rises.
Piles City saw it fly northwest.
Northwest?
Can I do a nature check to see if I can recognize the creature he's describing?
So he's not describing it.
26.
26.
You've seen some big birds in your time.
This is what they're describing is a lot bigger than any birds you've encountered in your experience.
You've heard whispers of larger birds in the wild, but you've never seen anything like that.
You, let's see.
This, yeah, no, this, you haven't had any personal experience hearing or something.
seeing anything of this size.
But it is like a bird?
That's what they described it as.
When did these birds start showing up?
These are just about two weeks ago,
when the whole thing started to happen.
And then Ben, he said, should this keep up,
most of us will lose everything before the year is out.
Now, we've talked with the leaders of the farming community,
this side of Amman, and we've scrounged up what we could,
and we can't have a couple of things.
and she goes, 50012 gold pieces,
37 silver and 103 copper.
That's all we can stare.
You know what?
Would you esteem to your rose?
Yes, keep your money.
Yes, keep your money.
We can't possibly.
What about this?
What if you supplied us with a small stream of produce
for our servants here at the keep?
For cooking, for feeding them,
feeding us when we're here.
That would be a sight less than 500.
It wouldn't be nothing.
You would still give us something.
Yes, we could even more than happy to.
Yes, we could definitely...
However, despite what my companion is saying,
we are not agreeing to go after this winged beast quite yet.
We hear your plight, and we sympathize,
and we will do what we can,
but we have very pressing matters right now.
Is there a...
Is there a deadline of some sort?
Like, when is your next harvesting season?
A-SAP, probably.
I mean, there's no deadline.
But the longer that goes by, the more and more we lose by the night.
Two weeks in, we lost half of our livestock.
Every night.
If a creature is this pig, I imagine it eats quite a bit.
And how long of a ride is it?
Is it like walking distance?
To where?
To your farm.
North side of a morn.
No more than.
Oh, so it real close.
Yes.
We are friends of the elderly, obviously, and also of the
farming community, so we are very interested in helping you. May we talk about it a bit
before we decide how and when we would tackle this problem?
They look at each other and kind of not, and he can I need, he taps their hands.
Yes, yes, I mean, by all means, just, if you could, please help us stop this beast
for ruining our livelihood. And can you please tell us how to get to your place?
Oh, well. Do you normally stay there? Are you normally home?
We wander about the community, but we do have a homestead.
If you look, it's the large red wood and partially brick-based homestead
closest to the city walls on the north farm, right outside of Vermont.
It's kind of hard to miss if you're heading that direction.
We will find you, and we will...
Quickly, presently, we will find you.
Guys, we were told to sit and spin, basically.
I mean, what's wrong with earning some brownie points?
The eyes of your ear.
Mr. and Mrs. Crowe, as friends of the elderly,
Clouse.
Right, Krause.
Do they normally come in,
or have they ever abducted any of your sweet balls
during the day?
We've not seen it during the day.
It'd be easier for us to identify if we had.
It seems to only hunt a night.
And have they ever bust with a human?
It's a vampire bird.
Not that we've heard of.
Not yet.
And he kind of gives you the sudden look
of realization, fear, and like,
Pat's encumperts his wife, who suddenly realizes, like,
oh my, you know, are they going to take us now?
Don't, we'll probably be fine, like, tonight or tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning at the latest.
We have a little bit of business.
Yeah.
So we just, we're in the middle of doing something.
We'll get to it.
All right, we'll think.
We need to clear our conscience anyway.
I take him by the hand and say, we'll see you presently.
We'll see you presently.
Here, my business card.
and you can take that to the bank.
You can't actually, it's worth nothing.
Thank you for listening to us, Am Blon.
We look forward to hearing from you in the next day.
You will.
All right, that's her in the arm.
Travel safe, Mr. Crout.
Hide your ball, hide your wife.
Here we are.
Seriously.
We both kind of want to do this.
Safe journeys, save travels.
We are like in danger of like being
dix.
Osterized. We should really be nice to everybody, right?
Yeah, we need to.
We were just having a conversation about how we should try to be nice from now on.
But you do have very pressing matters.
Yeah, let's get in there and talk to that.
It's been there a while to do it all.
It's funny how that type of thing can come back to bite you in the ass.
I call up to Cordell.
O'y Cordell.
Yeah.
Remember when I told you not to let anyone linger outside the keep?
Good point.
To be fair, McLeod's just a well-known.
known in the community and the Croutes.
The Klausus.
If they came here for business,
I figured it was probably something you'd wanna hear.
But by all means, use your judgment
over the orders of your master.
Fifth, that's fine, that's fine.
Scanlan.
The vows his head, sheepishly.
I apologize.
Ignore him, ignore him.
We are here to help people.
We're here to help.
Gonna dis his finger like this and the gates
open and towards.
the inside of the keep wall.
And what is wrong with you all today?
We had a really bad dinner last night, that's all.
I head straight to the jail.
Okay, I'm coming.
All right, as you guys are doing that,
Tiberius, what's the first thing you're trying to do?
Stop by and pick up the decanter from the temple.
Okay, it's the city required two days.
It's been less than a day since you've got up.
Just so you're aware.
Then the only thing I do is visit the keep with the sigils.
library, whatever.
Oh, the Lyceum?
Okay.
I'm not going, I'm just going to go hang out up on the wall.
Okay.
That's the key.
All right.
As you hit a Lyceum, the Kirk lets you in,
what do you specifically looking to find or research?
The sigil that's closest to the Faywild.
Okay.
In researching what they have at their disposal,
you understand that the Faywild itself,
because it is a separate plane,
the magic so much traversing it are a little more difficult to do.
If you notice, and I'll confirm here just to be sure that we're on the same page,
before I go full on this here,
pardon me, just a moment, and I scan through the book.
The Mighty Book.
The Book of Might.
Yes.
Sidels of teleportation require the same plane of each.
existence, meaning you can teleport anywhere within the trimaterial plane that you exist
in to traverse into the Fay Wild. You have to actually find a door into the
Fay Wild, and then you would be able to use a sigil from the Fay Wilde.
Then I only pick up my decanter.
It's not ready yet.
I don't do that. Damn. My short-term memory is just jacked.
Just hanged, man. Just hanged. It's all good.
Somebody's been to the Fay Wild.
Yeah. So, but yeah, the Fay Wild, what you do find is that the Fay Wilde Wilde,
The boundaries between this realm and the Faye Wild
tend to grow weaker at full moons.
It's kind of tied to the moon cycle.
And at certain places where nature is set to run wild.
A lot of juridic tribes tend to mark these locations
and in some cases actually guard them.
We know where a hole in one is.
Mm-hmm.
You have like a member of your party.
Yeah.
And if you recall, good memory.
In the Frostwell, the Pretchley Frozen Forest,
where you had that conversation with the Nymph,
that portal that she existed through was specifically
a door into the Faye Wild, which you recognized.
What city was that near?
That was south of Western.
Then I'll go to the thing and I'll find the Western sigil.
Okay.
Through your research, you do find a sigil to Western.
This is allowing you to go into
this portion for this sigil, because you've already used the favor that you had to get the
sigil of Kraghammer. No, I didn't. I used the amulet and we got permission to come there.
I saved that favor for this.
Right, the favor for Gilmore. I was saying is you used one of two favors to get that
sigil. You have to invoke Gilmore's favor to get this one.
Yes, that's what I'm doing.
Okay. And since you're part of the circumstance, you acquire the secondary sigil. You now know,
in your memory permanently, a sigil two Western.
You don't know where in Western, but you are connected there.
And if you choose to teleport there, you know how to.
Cool.
Wonderful.
You also, that favor has now been used by a Gilmore.
Let me go back to the keep.
As you guys have all returned to the keep,
you have found yourselves down to the basement area.
You hear the distant hanging of metal and occasional,
some sort of a squeaking metallic noise, like something is being altered, turned, or quenched
in a water troth, like just the process of blacksmithing.
I go to the edge of the door and knock.
As you knock, and it is a metal door, it's like a boom, boom, boom.
The queen kind of stops. It just hangs for a second.
Percy, it's Keyleth.
Right now. Please, I'm sorry. I just need to clear my head. Okay. We'll be here.
Good job.
A moment later, you see Percy's eyes appear at the end of the doors.
Hi, hi, hi. Hi. Just looking at them, you can see they look a little sunken, a little weary.
Did you sleep? He didn't sleep. Not as much as I'd like.
Do you need anything?
Does I just kind of wait for a second
I'm back at you. I'm all right. Thank you.
We went and saw your rail.
Everyone in the city hates us.
They think we're all criminals, yeah.
Great.
We're gonna fix it. Okay, yeah.
Okay.
The slit shuts.
We'll see you later then.
You guys, however, I walk down to the side of the cell.
And it is a cellar has been closed.
The keys for it are hanging on the nail bite.
You guys have not used the cell at this point.
It is technically pristine or unused since the construction of the keep.
But the key is still hang in a key ring.
On the inside of it, there is no thatch.
Nothing has been put in to really mark the comfortable floor.
And hanging from manacles.
Oh, God.
He's hanging.
Yeah, he's hanging.
We're the worst.
Yeah.
He was put in as a prisoner to guards who have a certain way of putting prisoners into his cell.
I go and get the keys and I take him down from the manacles.
Okay. As she rushes into the cell, begins unlocking the manacles.
He's unconscious at this time.
Dirt streaking his face and spatters of dried blood from the blast of the gun.
Good, cut back gun.
You, uh...
I go ahead and I administer a cure wounds.
I mean, the wound at this point has been carterized.
You go up and cast heel wounds as he starts to come to consciousness kind of in a heap on the ground.
It appears he may be, he'll have any damage you may still be sustaining from that, but the fingers are gone.
This is beyond the magic of what you're capable of.
Right.
It kind of comes to consciousness in the ground, dirtied, sore, just essentially kind of broken before you.
Does he look like he's been bitten at all?
You want to inspect?
Can I look at his neck?
Yeah, well, he's...
Go make the investigation check.
20.
Okay.
I mean, you don't have a whole lot of medicinal experience,
but you just take a moment and inspect both sides of his neck,
kind of tilting his head side to his side as he's kind of groaning and coming to and...
What's going on?
Looking at the sides of his neck, there does not appear to be any sign of any puncture wounds,
anything that would be reminiscent of what your brother currently is healing from.
healing from. Can I do an inside check to see if he's also under a mind control spell?
At the moment, no, because he has barely come into consciousness. There isn't enough of a
presence at the moment to really read past. Not enough of a mind? Not yet. Okay.
Hey there, welcome back.
Where am I? You are being held at the moment for your own safety. My own safety.
Yeah.
Oh, he kind of looks at his hand.
Well, you were captured, and
we're pretty sure the Briweds are going to be pissed as hell
that you let the carriage get hit.
So we're just trying to protect you, really.
Really? Really? Really?
Sort of. I mean, his friends all died, so...
He didn't.
Do we not feel, like, terrible people enough?
Let's not have this conversation in front of the prisoner.
What's your name, boy?
I'm just putting it out.
My name is Desmond.
Desmond.
Desmond, of I'm the son of a messenger,
a quarry of the Dorado family.
He's the son of a messenger.
That's like even more ironic.
Do you need to step outside?
No, I'm good.
Continue.
Son of a messenger.
Right now, everyone is at risk.
The Briwoods are bad people.
You can attest to this, yes?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Can you tell us everything you know about them?
Still going to matter. They're going to find me. No one's supposed to get away.
How do you do?
There's always a first time.
I don't even know where to begin.
And he kind of adjusts himself sliding back, putting his wall against the back of the cell.
I'll reach in the bag of holding. I'll pull out a little goblet and I pour some ale into a cup.
And I had him a little bit of ale.
It's a good cup.
No, it's fine. I take a little sit.
Please don't take offence if I don't trust
this drink from strangers who've
well, to be honest, put me in this position.
All right, I'll put him beside them.
That's just for you, Levin, and maybe.
Where do you want to know?
We want to know if the briar woods...
Are vampires.
Yeah, pretty much. They're vampires, right?
I mean, they're vampires.
All I know from the stories I've heard.
On the mothers will tell their kids not torn around tonight
because dark things crawl in the shadows.
From what I know, vampires are not supposed to go during the day, right?
But I'm sure I've seen at least Lady Briarwood walk in the sun any of time.
Only Lady Briar walk?
As I recall, yes.
Old Briarwood doesn't make too many public appearances.
Oh.
Okay.
Have there been any strange goings-on in their residence?
Sounds that you've heard, people disappearing, boxes coming in around.
I cast...
I cast cure wounds on him while he's talking.
You cast...
I don't know cure wounds, bitches!
Level up!
Have I reached the keep-up, by the way?
What's up?
What did?
How far away?
Have I reached the keep yet from there?
No, not yet.
You're probably about an hour away at this point.
From the time you've taken to research, find this,
learn the Sigital Westwood, and begin to your trek back.
Fortunately, you got what you wanted, but you're out of the picture for a little bit.
He can flinches as you put your hand up, and as you touch me kind of...
I'm already touching him.
I know, but he exhales.
You get to him as just so he can react briefly.
11. Oh, wait, plus my...
Do I add anything to that?
My wisdom modifier?
I believe you had your wisdom modifier to that.
14.
Okay.
I guess, look, my father worked for the Dorolo family before the Briwoods came.
My father vanished the night of their fall.
My mother was taking the madness and lost to the night this past year.
I was left alone.
However, I knew the roads well between here and White Stone and places between growing up, traveling with.
my father so I was made to be a coachman for the new nobles was paid albeit little and I was
left alone now when I say the new nobles there were nobles that lived in Whitestone that
worked along with the Dorolo's and they helped oversee parts of the town and the business and the
people and they had been there for many generations of their respective families all under the
to Rolo's guidance.
The night the castle fell,
as nobles were dragged out.
It's strange.
I mean, after the brutality of that first night,
it took days before the people of White's soon,
knew what had happened.
And we saw the fires, we heard the battles,
but no word of the victors until three days passed.
They were too scared to approach.
While then, the Browards called a town meeting.
They explain their new rule over the town.
A number objected, which is expected.
Any strong-willed folk in Wyrstone, those days?
And they were subsequently shot down at Arrowpoint.
The rest were quiet.
They then tried out the noble families and executed them,
gifting their property entitled to the various cutthroats and mercenaries they had hired
that brought across the channel to help them take the town.
They're not just two people
They've used a lot of money and influence
From wherever they came from
And brought with them a whole slew of
Very dastardly
And moral folk
Who have since been given the titles
That was once held by the other nobles of Whitestone
Living their homes
Taking their tithes
And
Most of the profits made from the businesses
They've now forced us to continue to run from within the city
A number of families fled into the woods
A night after the executions
Using the shadows of a moonless evening
To keep safe
They were all found hanging from the sun tree
The next morning
They kept things going as they were mostly
Farming, logging, manning the white marble mines
Business went as usual
All fill in the pockets of the new nobles
In the Briar Woods
And we were given food
kept our immediate property
and as long as we didn't attempt to leave
we were promised safety
that lasted for a few years
until the nobles
grew bored or twitchy
and began to abuse
the people of Whitestone
scare us for fun
brand cut
steal the children
leave them back
destroyed
they treat us like animals
folks were missing
I was beaten so bad by my employer
Count Tileri
but Lord Brier would notice
when night he was passing through the city
He saw
wounds on my back when he was meeting
with Count Taileri
When he asked me in private how I got them
I couldn't I
Couldn't resist him
He has a way of just
Just drawing the truth out of him
Now he told me this unrefined violence was
boreish to him and his wife, and it was the last I ever saw of Lord Taliri. Lord and Lady Briarwood
took me and as their own driver and showed me. Tarleary hanging from that same sun tree the next morning.
I was thankful then. In a strange way, life had been so terrible for so long. It was the first time
I saw someone reach out and save me. It took me in as the driver after that. It's the better
to think to be away from the anger and the fists of the thugs.
But the more I got to know the Briarwoods, the more
nightmarish, I realized they were.
Behind the walls of that castle,
it was no longer a grand fortress that we heard was,
seeing it,
keeping watch and guard over people.
No, no, that was a domain of perverse magics and sacrilege.
The green fog drifting out from the ground where it stood,
the same servants.
still run the holes.
But they aren't living.
The walking vessels of undefathe.
Their flesh slowly turning away.
The garden in back lies shriveled.
A foul, green mist
forever pouring out.
They're excavating something in the dungeon.
Plundering pieces.
A lot of their attention seems to be down there.
I don't know why.
They're not ones that too far down.
They bring up all.
Old things, ancient things, elix, books, bones.
You live in that world long enough, you believe there is no way out.
Death would be easy.
I've seen that death is no real end there.
It's just the beginning of a whole new terrible existence.
Our worst fate.
Protected, would you be willing to tell your story to someone else?
Who would you want me to tell it to?
The Emperor?
The guards here.
An army that could go and fight the Briw Woods.
Maybe.
An option to save Whitestone.
And you would have your freedom.
I don't know.
You don't know what it's...
You don't know what they've done.
They're gonna find me.
Now we can protect you.
We are safe here in this keep.
And we...
You're surrounded by very powerful people, allies now.
We've stood before them and we did not fall.
It's true.
We think about it.
Would you like to stay in the guest room upstairs?
That's okay.
Be more comfortable, you could get a good night's rest.
Far more comfortable.
A little less safe.
I'm gonna put it out there.
That resonates with him immediately in his eyes flash open.
We no disrespect, but if this is safe, I'd rather stay here.
I think it is. And we will bring a bed down to you, make sure we're comfortable. I don't want you sleeping on the floor. That's terrible.
You're all being very accommodating. You'll get every consideration for protection. We value your info very much.
You're also kind of the key to our own freedom, so it's kind of important. You also caught us on a day where we're trying to be nicer to people.
Lucky for you.
Just be glad you're not an old woman.
Stay here, you know.
All right.
The war is over and both sides lost.
Kingdoms were reduced to cinders,
an army scattered like bones in the dust.
Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world,
praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight.
But in the shadow dark, the darkness always.
wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time,
and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light
nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make.
This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back.
Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m.
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You think on it, I've been promised.
Such protection before.
From the Broward Woods?
From a few.
and that's okay.
An enemy of an enemy
doesn't necessarily make them a friend of discovered.
No, but it can make them
allies if they have mutual enemies.
Of their enemies.
Of their enemies.
You see like...
It's a little complicated.
This whole conversation, the emotional
recalling of everything you can see
has been very taxing on him
and he's kind of still partially,
you know, mostly conscious state.
He looks exhausted, scared,
and still trying to kind of suss out
all the information coming at him right now.
Totally.
Grog, why don't you carry the bed down from upstairs?
That's exactly what I was going to.
No, the problem.
Keep you, you know, keep the goblet nearby.
It is very nice, eh?
Would you like something to eat?
Yes, please.
Have our staff bring down some food.
He kind of takes the goblet and kind of
looks at it and smells it,
but still just kind of holds it at bay as you walk off.
You eventually go easy enough for you to take the bed.
You have to kind of like turn it to the side to take it out,
which causes all.
all the cushions to fall out, and you're like,
Oh, shit.
How do I grab a little pillow with my toes?
You know, up it down.
It takes roughly about 20 minutes and three trips,
but you managed to get the bed down there from the guest room.
Not a problem, not a problem.
It's one of those things when you fit it in the cell,
and it is not a large cell.
It's maybe 10 by 10 feet maximum.
Okay, give some time to eat.
You place it there.
As you guys walk back, you notice.
You notice, as you see Grog walking back down the stairway, right around the corner,
because as you go around the steps, the hallway goes in the cell, and it goes down, turns to the right,
and then left into the workshop. You see around the corner a shoulder listening in.
He's a person, and you recognize that it is Percy.
Percy has stepped out of the workshop and apparently has been hearing everything this entire time.
Are you all right?
I'm fine, and Percy immediately steps away and you hear the door.
Percy waits.
Give him time.
So, roadie.
Sweet.
Bizzura lock on the...
So yeah, I'm gonna lock it.
I'm just gonna lock your door
to make sure you're safe.
Make sure nobody can get in.
Yeah, in case the briarwoods gave your brain a tickled.
Him away from me.
Who is that?
He's a friend.
I know it doesn't seem like it from the condition of your paw,
but he's a friend.
He's just, uh, he's in the same.
same boat as you trying to stay safe from danger.
We assure you.
My Woods destroyed his family as well.
You see now there's like this look of tension on his face that's kind of makes him like tired and kind of like eventually finding the bed and takes the gob, but you still feel, that's not drunk from him, but just kind of slips it next to the side of the bed.
Eventually food is brought down.
And a chamber pot, because come on.
Yeah.
Just come on.
All the basic pleasantries were brought within the cell.
Okay, good.
Kind of lies in the bed and takes the plate up with him and starts just scarfing some of the bread rolls down and immediately starts going for the mashed potatoes and it's just like you can see a decent meal hasn't been had in quite a while especially the journey what is essentially a seven eight day journey from Lightstone probably was not been very kind of him
Eats and then promptly passes out on the bed like food still kind of mashed the side of the face just goes straight into his lumber
Is there any entrance to the cell area besides the door? No like barred windows or anything like that?
No, no, because it's underground.
It's all solid stone walls, and there is the barred front door,
and then just goes right into the hallway,
that goes up the stairs to your left,
and across the way and around the corner to the workshop.
You can't capture, like a...
A barrier maybe, so that Percy can't get anything through there.
Let me read this.
My spell tone.
It's not a common one.
It's not, you know, it's kind of situational,
but let me check real quick.
Scanlon you got anything right there?
I haven't read that chapter.
Can you shit on the floor and...
Protected?
Is the Lora is on the way back from where...
I'll sleep in the room?
Is Alura is on the way back from the Lyceum?
There's that.
No, the Lyceum is in the Arudyte district.
Allura's tower is in the cloud top, which is the central part of Vermont.
Okay.
Do you want to go check out that bird creature at the farmhouse tonight?
Yes. Well, can, we've stationed a guard down there?
We should. We have five or six.
All right, I'll go talk to Cordell.
Is there right?
No, no, no, not Cordell. Let's get somebody else.
Get the crossbow guy that we like so much.
Yeah.
The guy that's the captain of the guards.
Is that Kendrick or Shade Trent?
Oh, the girl?
No, the guy. He's awesome and he's an archer's...
Jaret?
Jarritt.
That's it.
All right, we'll get Jarrett.
Oh, Jarrett.
You make your way to the back part of the wall,
and there is a small tower that's constructed
as part of the back wall. That's where
Jarrett usually keeps watch.
Jared has kind of the in-between shift
between the guards, so you can be present
for both sides and kind of keep watch during the
afternoon to the nighttime, probably until about midnight or so.
So as you make your way out of the
keep, Tiberius, are you heading back to the keep,
or you're heading toward the Cloudtop District?
This will dictate whether or not you show up
around this time, so.
I'm going to O'Garous.
Okay.
I'm staying down in the prison just for the time being.
I don't want to leave him alone with her.
All right.
So you go to find a Jared who's up in the top of the tower,
and as you call to him, Jared Haleen's over,
and you see him, you know, short jet black hair,
darker complexion,
very, very handsome, younger kind of early 20s guy,
well-dressed over his studded other armor that he wears underneath
and has the cross bottom the side. He leans over.
Skyline, it has been some time. It is so good to hear from you.
What can I be of service for?
We need you to watch a prisoner for us downstairs in our jail cell,
which we had built and are now using.
But you'll be guarding the prisoner
to make sure he doesn't escape, but also making sure he stays safe.
He possesses information that's very valuable
to us. And one of the people who hires you might try to kill him. So if Percy tries to go in there,
can you stop him without hurting either part? I imagine this would be very well suited for my
skill set. It will be strange to keep watch against one of my employers, but he's been a bit
cheapish around me anyway.
You think you can take Percy?
Well, I think at least I can talk some sense into him.
I like him.
Wow.
Terri.
He's a badass.
This guy.
That's awesome.
Just out of curiosity, if he was running at you, what would you do?
Something very cool.
First and foremost, I would dive in the forward motion, leg out, to put him off balance.
This is B from a frontal melee.
You're messing with me, aren't you?
A little bit.
A little bit.
A little bit.
Ah, nomes.
Do you need anything to help?
I can leave you.
I have access to my own private armory, and I have almost faith.
All right.
Well, keep him safe and there's an extra five gold in it for you.
Oh, pathetic.
Oh, that's good.
Ten, ten, ten gold.
No.
I don't know how money works.
Well, I'll talk to mex about it, probably.
Certainly.
I would do this.
And he stands up and goes and starts gathering
his general set up supplies inside the guard tower.
As you walk back to the keep, you hear him whistle
and start calling out to Shane to go ahead and take over
up in the tower.
So, I wasn't there for any of that.
I was upstairs on the roof just.
Just looking over.
Tiberius.
Yes.
You make your way into the Cloudtop district?
I don't know anything.
As you come to the front gates of the district,
the guards that normally recognize you and welcome you in,
recognize you, and stand firm weapons at the ready.
At allura's tower?
At the cloud top district entirely.
You guys had to get written permission to enter there
when you first came to Amman anyway,
since that's where the nobility and many of the important figures of Amman reside.
It appears that since you've been taken out of the council
and you're under investigation,
your access to such a sensitive,
location where the Eman has been temporarily revoked,
and the guards are not letting you through.
Damn it.
Oh, no.
They're just not, well, is that, so is that it,
so I just turn on, go back.
It's up to you.
The guards are just there, I stand there.
Burn them all alive.
Okay, all right.
I cast now.
Greetings and salutations.
I'm Tiberius Stormwin from Draconia.
Moreover, a member of Oxmachna
Markner over at Grace Gold Keep.
I was, it seems that you all are posturing and whatnot.
It's adorable.
But I'm here to see Lady Olora.
Could you let her know that I would like to speak to her
or get out of my way so I can just go over there and tell her myself?
We have direct orders to not let you any other member of Ox Markiner
into the Cloud Top District until your investigation is complete.
So no and no.
Well, do the do the do the, do the, do the,
the second thing.
If you don't do
one thing, do one of the other other things.
Your information and wish
has been processed. Taking
in consideration. Thank you very much.
Please be on your way. It has been processed.
That's good to know. I appreciate
that.
Very much.
I cast fly myself and I go back to the keep.
Okay.
They're both
They did not expect that exit.
Oh, wow, I could say that.
I'm like die.
You're just essentially like,
Superman, you're like, boom.
A little cloud of smoke in the shape of a dragon boy left behind.
All right, so as you cruise over, you see in the distance
from where you're standing at the top of the keep,
you see a distant beat of dark shadow
that approaches and grows larger and is a air cruising Tiberius
making his way towards the keep.
I kind of hide behind.
I don't want to get hit, so I'm going to just crouch down
a little bit carefully behind one of the pieces of war.
Okay.
Tiberius makes rough landings sometimes.
We'll land inside the wall.
Lending.
Toad fucking, easy.
Easy.
Be careful.
Sorry.
Hi, what is we doing?
Are you up here thinking?
I hope you're thinking.
Why, I suppose I was.
Near the others are downstairs interrogating that boy.
Oh, where have you been?
Off doing things that wasn't really that productive.
Overall.
But they don't like me anywhere, especially now.
Do you want to have a drink?
Yes, actually, I do.
I would.
You normally drink water.
Do you want a shot, though?
Oh, no, yes.
I would love some alcohol.
This calls for alcohol.
I pull out my flask and I'm amazed because I've never seen this.
I just hand it over to him.
Oh, yes.
Did you eat the flask?
No, it's a fire breath.
Oh, okay.
Do you want to pass that bad boy back?
Is it hot?
It's empty.
Oh, it's empty.
Oh, it's empty?
Well, I guess I was worth it.
What?
What is he talking about that?
Don't you tell me like a drink.
Are you?
I come out from the castle into the room.
I go, hey, I feel like chicken tonight.
Can we go hot this big bird?
Um, uh, uh, uh, type of his, I just got him drunk.
Really?
Yeah.
He never saw of his flash muscle.
And this is so good.
Are you sure you didn't hit him with the blunts?
him with the blunt side of your knife again.
She just took a shot of the old fire water.
I don't drink her off, but I can't,
no, it doesn't like me anymore,
because I kill that bitch
who tried to kill it.
And now you fucking avoid, I'll be like this.
Oh boy.
We find Keelith, I think.
Oh, boy.
Yeah, I'm smart.
Keyleth.
You are so funny.
I love your droops.
Tibbs got turned up.
Will you fix it?
Oh.
You, in fact, Gie, had your highness.
What did you do?
Why are you touching me?
I love protective you.
It is, our luck, he loves you.
Don't touch me right now.
He did a little lumb, you know.
See, I'm telling you, nobody likes me.
I don't know, what's the way.
I gave him his first drinkie, I'm sorry.
Could we, you can even pull him out of it?
Is it?
What?
I thought he was gonna say no.
He didn't leave me any.
He's good, I'm good.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm tired of his, it's time.
It's a judge of Japan.
You are, Princess.
Bloody face.
He likes you.
Haasks just walks away off the roof out of here.
I'm gone.
Grod is riveted.
Human kissy mouse.
You is...
Blah.
If you touch me one more time.
Oh.
Oh.
Is all right.
Did you need to go somewhere?
I am doing something.
something else a request that was already made previously before can we fix drunk
Tiberius so I'm a little busy why don't you go sleep it off take a nap and I will
deal with you in a second for you should come and cast fireball oh my god and I
just shove him into the cell and and put him in bed next to Dev Day
no we're not in the prison we're on the choreography oh we're on the
I thought you said everyone was like keyleth.
Yes, I called out to the whole key.
I'm still in the prison.
Everybody else is out of the roof.
The roof is on fire.
So where do you push him?
Off, I guess.
Off the roof.
No.
That's cool.
I thought we were downstairs.
I fall off the roof.
It's all right.
It's not.
You don't fall off the roof.
I don't know what I do with him.
I let him pass out.
I'm going to get a sandwich.
I let him go get a sandwich.
Sandwich.
Tiberius.
I encourage sandwich.
And that's the quote of the night.
So with encourage to get a sandwich,
Tiberius wanders off.
What are you doing to prepare what you were doing?
I don't know. I got distracted.
I'm not there.
Okay.
Well, as the day progresses, what would you get to do?
My idea, wait.
So my idea.
Okay. So, okay, we were one airstment fortification.
What?
We were wanting extra protection.
Okay.
I can't necessarily cast like a big spell.
I could cast hallucinatory terrain.
We have a few options.
I'm giving them to you all.
I could cast hallucinatory terrain to make this look like something else.
I don't think, I don't know.
I don't know.
That's a good idea.
I don't know.
I could conjure a few woodland beings for like, you know,
extra bears.
We could have some bears.
Oh, cool.
guarding the palace.
I could also throw up a wall of thorns
to kind of barrier
light the wall of thorns.
I'm not actually there.
You're not here?
Well, I was downstairs.
I think everyone left.
I think it's just you and me up here
and drunk Siberian.
I'm done making my sandwich.
I went downstairs and I'm saying this to the group
so I don't have to repeat myself.
Okay.
So then I turn around myself, I was like,
well, you have to just make a lord
to talk to us.
She can fix everything.
She can work.
I grab Tiberius about that I cover it.
C1-2-0.
Please continue.
Wall of Thorns could be good.
I like Wildphones.
That plus our guards.
I mean, it's not how big is the thing with Wallace
Thorns is it's not super big.
It's like 60 feet.
That's pretty big.
It's not the whole place.
It's not the whole place.
It could be extra.
Oh, 60 feet long.
I thought you meant size.
High.
No, it's like 100 feet high.
It's really high.
Or actually, I don't know how high.
Don't quote me on that.
But it's not that long, but we can
We could like fortify the doors more, have bears.
We could do multiple things too.
I think that the hallucinatory terrain wouldn't work.
I felt like they could see right through.
I think so too.
On the Briarwoods probably.
They can see through illusions pretty darn well.
Listen, Percy's here.
He can defend for us.
No, we need a warding spell.
Oh, God.
Why don't we just leave someone behind?
Percy's behind.
What you did?
Percy's here and so well five, six.
How many employees are you?
A very, very, very capable gods.
Yeah.
Why don't we leave how long?
Why don't you make some extra bears that don't hate us?
Huh?
Why don't you make some extra bears that don't hate us?
All right, I'll make some extra bears.
Put his little hats on them and make him cute.
You think he can fix him?
He's a lot of firepower for on again.
I'm having a salad.
He's good.
What gets rid of drunkness?
Maybe it restoration?
I don't want to burn a restoration spell on your drunkenness.
Are we going to this door?
You cast middle reservation.
Could also just give it a couple hours.
I mean, what's your problem, man?
Like a lot of water.
At this point it's probably close to...
I hate you so much, Bax.
So it's three o'clock in the afternoon.
So it's three o'clock in the afternoon.
The bird doesn't even come.
The Dagger water.
The bird doesn't even come till night.
We can let him wear it off.
What time is it?
Three o'clock in the afternoon.
We're gonna wait till night and go.
What, though.
All right.
She said she hated you, how like that feel.
Fine.
Yeah.
That was fine.
She was just, that was the heat of the moment.
She was angry.
We're a team.
All right, so let's play, guys.
The plan is we're gonna let him sober up for,
we're gonna give him some coffee,
and then we're gonna set off for the north,
the north farmlands at dust.
Oh, guess we should get some corn
and other harvestments.
into bombs.
I make an army of bears.
Okay, this concentration will last an hour.
Oh, that's it.
The conjure one of them being?
We'll be fine.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
What if I conjure a bear and then fast?
What's the ring?
Let me make sure.
Well, they figure their stuff out.
See, we're all figuring stuff out.
If I leave...
Trinket.
Trinket in the prison.
Leave Trinket.
With Jared.
Yeah.
Jared.
That won't freak him out of all.
Well, with Cordell, Jared's down in the cell.
This is defense against invading vampires, not against...
Okay.
I have a better idea.
Yep.
Oh my God.
This is it involved with here.
Why don't I conjure an elemental?
And then I can cast plane or binding on him, and he'll hang out for 24 hours.
Great.
Do it.
Do it.
Do that.
Let's go kill a bird.
Lead with that.
Number one.
I was, you know, figuring it out.
It's new.
You gotta talk it through.
That's awesome.
That'll do.
Don't vampire say fire?
Can you do fire?
Yeah, fire.
What about water?
What about running water?
Running water.
Ooh, water elemental.
Tiberius, remember that you...
He's drunk.
I know.
Don't talk to him.
He won't remember anything.
I love how you shoot.
at things, eyeballs.
Told you.
It's like, I use a minor illusion to create a Lockheed
and I have him just sort of scamper away.
Go to soup, where you're going?
You go tell your brother to be good.
Anyway, you're so pretty.
So are you doing that version?
What?
Keelah, are you some of an analogy?
Yes.
Okay.
Which kind?
Water elemental.
Okay, and you cast cleaner binding.
Part of the material component cost is a gem
that's worth at least a thousand gold pieces.
Okay, here's a thing.
I have one of those.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, well, it's a jewel that's red and palm-sized.
I have a diamond of awesome and a regular diamond as well.
If I create a trap here, can you bind some magic?
some stuff too.
You can do everything with magic.
You can make things go.
You can make things go.
You can make things stop.
I cover Tybberius' mouth again.
I give her a diamond.
Bing.
All right.
Is the awesome diamond or the regular diamond?
This is a regular diamond.
The awesome diamond is special.
To vex, do the bath.
No, no, don't do that.
I know.
Why do you do that?
Do what?
Diamonds are really expensive.
Any diamonds.
I know.
And an awesome diamond has got to be more than a thousand.
got to be more than a thousand, right?
It's way more than a thousand.
It's got to be at least a thousand.
Just give her the awesome.
Frog, what kind of jewel do you have?
It's a palm-sized, I'm assuming, Ruby.
A palm-sized ruby?
It's got to be massive.
It's got to be massive.
I don't, no, just don't, don't.
Look at, what did you?
The thing is, back in Victoria,
they had the best little fluffy cakes.
Is able to ascertain that the palm-sized ruby
is worth roughly 1,200 gold pieces
and would be suitable for this ritual.
I think we should use a Ruby.
Just because, you know, I have an eye for these things.
Yeah.
Do we think they're gonna come while we do this?
Do we wanna waste it?
Because that's an awesome outside defense.
Do we wanna waste it for this?
What if they're coming?
They might grow.
Doesn't it cost one jewel per?
Yeah.
Maybe we should say that, because that's awesome.
Is there a possibility, DM?
that I could, if he sobered up, if I set a trap
that a spell of his can be bound to it somehow?
Go off, I have no idea.
It's hard to say that there are certain spells
that can enable that.
I can take certain spells that trigger at a certain time.
Nothing that's particularly in your guys' realm
of experience or understanding, though, unfortunately.
All right, so I can look into it for the future,
but not today.
I like that. I think we should keep it
in case there is an actual attack coming,
Because it might just 24 hours and then we wasted it.
Nobody came.
That's true.
To be fair, the castle is being heavily watched by outsiders.
Does anybody know?
Okay, listen.
Let's just go.
Yeah.
Groger's bringing a gear.
Scan and small.
Everything is great.
Hi.
Can we leave Trink here to watch?
Yeah, he's dead.
Well, he's gonna go down in the prison with Jared.
Just gonna let it happen.
Okay.
We bring Trinket down.
Um,
We get Stan's watch right in the center,
kind of plops down right up against the bars.
I knock on Percy's door and say, Percy.
Yes.
Trinket's out here.
He's, if you need anything, you just come out
and you pet him.
Thank you.
Welcome.
I also go up to the door and go,
Trinket, do you have, hey, Percy,
aren't you sober yet?
No, how many hours from?
It's been like five minutes, hasn't it?
Yeah.
Well, over time, over the next
hour to three hours or so. You guys have set up a place to go. They've had given you
some water and you've managed to sober up a bit.
I actually picked his pocket and took his bottle of endless water. Don't you have a bottle
of water like that? No, that is currently left to be currently
blessed for holy water.
Oh well. We take the scenic route to let him walk it off as we head up towards
Big Bird's house. Great.
All right. So you guys make your way around the outskirts of Iman under moonlight.
It's a three-quarter waxing moon. You make your way to the farm vicinity on the north side of the city.
It doesn't take long for you to eventually suss out the house that matches the description that you were given by the houses.
you knock on the door and they eagerly greet your arrival
and kind of it'll bite you in.
I'm so glad you all can make it.
Have you decided?
Have you given our communities request some thought?
We're here to help.
We're the heroes that you asked for.
We love old people.
Thank you.
That's really, really good of you.
We will happily provide you with fresh produce
going forward. We've talked to a few members of the community, and we're going to make sure
that's taken care of. Where do you think we should stake out this bird? Where are your livestock kept?
The livestock kept on the eastern side of this community. If you look about, say, about a half a mile
out to where the actual residences stop being clustered together, you'll see there are a number of large
livestock containment areas. It's kind of hard to miss out there. We have pins for sheep. We have
We have pins for cows, pins for horses, other beasts of burden.
We have that whole vicinity is where most of these attacks seem to be coming.
So that's probably your best bet there.
And the biggest you have are the bulls, you said.
Bulls, we have a few big cows as well.
We've lost a few of them, unfortunately.
That's no deal with this bullshit.
That'll be all we need.
Oh.
Can one of us polymorph into a giant cow?
Sure.
Mm-hmm.
I could also talk to cows again.
Maybe these cows will know something.
The cows are dumb.
They're not gonna know.
We had him too.
Wait, first, first, can I ask her,
where, you said your neighbor boy, Kyle?
Kyle, the neighbor boy.
The neighbor boy.
I think there's only one.
That's true, Kyle's the one who originally spotted it, yeah.
Where does he live?
He lives, he actually the son of the man
who runs most of the livestock areas over there.
You can go and head over there.
He's probably still up keeping his eye out
in case it comes back.
Thank you.
Go to Kyle.
Okay. You guys make your way over there. It's easy to find. There's large pins.
You can see that for as big as the pins are built and the structure, they are noticeably dwindled.
You can see why there's been some worry in the community here.
The fact that it's only going on for two weeks and this many creatures are gone, it's a little disconcerting.
As you get there, you can see, the house has this light on. There's, you know, glowing windows.
and sitting in a chair, holding a crossbow across his lap, you see about a 19-year-old boy,
kind of rugged, chin growth, kind of dirty red hair that's kind of disheveled, and he's just sitting there, kind of look around in the sky,
rocking back and forth in his chair as you approach.
Hey, who goes there?
Don't worry, we're friends. We're friends of the Klaus's.
Yes.
Mr. and Mrs. Klaus.
Okay, okay.
So you're the ones who saying was coming to help?
Yes.
That's right.
Bye.
We do you have a keen eye, Kyle.
I've seen some things, yeah?
Where have they been attacking lately?
Just points to the whole area in front of this.
Are you keeping watch now?
Right.
Yes.
Thank you.
No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Don't leave yet.
We need you.
Yes.
We are Voxmarking, huh?
Over from Greyscol, Key.
I'm Tiberius Stought and went.
That's irrelevant.
The point is irrelevant.
is, I was wondering if you had any more information about the creature.
I mean, other than the fact that it was just a really, really big bird, a really big.
Do you remember any other details, any other defining details other than a bird?
It's hard to see in the moonlight. Color.
When it picks up a cow or whatever it's been picking up, does it strike with the beak or the claws, the talons?
Claws, and sometimes it takes two at a time.
One in each claw.
That big.
And just carries them away.
Have you seen any of its droppings anywhere?
No.
Have you managed to hit it with your crossbow?
I've missed.
And you're certain this is a feathered beast, or no?
It looks best I can see.
It's dark out here at that time of night.
It looks like bird.
It doesn't make any noise.
It just swoops on down.
It takes them away.
flies off that direction.
I've heard that those giant birds are attracted
to red-headed 19-year-old scruffy chin folk with crossbows.
Make an intimidation check.
This would be with your charisma.
22.
Nice.
He goes, well, I don't want to be here then.
You guys can keep an eye out.
I gotta go and just kind of unloads the bolt in the crossbow,
slings up in her his arms.
Wait, before you leave, I'm sorry.
I have an itch.
And it can only be scratched with a cowbell.
Do you have a cowbell anywhere around?
Wait, do you need no cowbell?
I just need a cowbell.
It will see, will...
And can I borrow a cowbell from you?
Your kid's weird.
And he keeps walking.
Your kid is weird.
Tell people about fuck in.
Not a child.
I bet there's one out there.
Do I see any cowbells on the ground?
You can take a glance about,
you eventually can see that there is set up on one of the,
one of the fences that fens is in the cows.
or is a cowbell, yes.
Hey, there's a cowbell.
Great.
It will help the ruse.
Here's my plan.
Okay.
We're all cows.
Is that an okay plan?
I like it.
I'm kind of into this plan.
All right, I guess.
But doesn't that essentially make us the bait?
Yes, we're our own bait.
Are you cool with that?
Totally.
Should one of us maybe not be a cow?
Good idea.
You.
Well, here's the thing.
Maybe a few of us should not be cows,
because only a few people are going to have
the ability to turn out of being a cow
once they are a cow, unless they take damage.
We went from all cows
pretty much know what's a cow.
No, no, no, no.
This is definitely a cow.
Fine.
No, no, I mean, I didn't, I didn't mean like that.
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Very lovely.
I can make us all cows.
It's okay. What Back said was way worse earlier.
How do you come out of being a cow if you are?
I can get rid of it.
You do.
Let's do it.
What else are we all going to be cows?
On and off, cow switch.
Come on, unless it kills him instantly, we'll be fine.
I'm fine.
I go invisible.
I'm fine.
Okay.
I'm gonna lay and wait with an arrow, just, you know.
Effort time, baby.
Bovine creatures.
I think I'm better served waiting to strike once.
Oh, you.
No, because you're a close, you're a close guy.
Yes, baby.
If it grabs one of them, I will deal more damage.
If it grabs me, I will deal no damage.
But if it grabs Scallon cow, I can unleash a fury.
Well, the thing is, I can turn it into a cow.
We can turn someone, I can turn someone else into a cow.
I can turn us all.
I can turn a salt.
Well, polymorph is a concentration.
I can turn us all into cows.
Yes.
Oh, because you got that thing.
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Cow or no, Keyleth.
Give us your answer.
Oh, I'm a cat.
What thing?
Seaming.
Ah.
Oh, we're not actually cows.
Oh, my God.
We'll just seem like cows.
Well, then yes, we'll be cows.
Except for me, who's going to be an actual.
If it's all be a cow and just like wandering around with still my bone arrow.
If I'm like, no.
I'll reject my invisibility and I'll be a cow.
I also do a cow.
I'm not sure if I know what's happening.
We're all cows.
Just embrace it.
You can't change a target's body type.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
So, so it's same form of limbs.
You're right, you're right.
You can't change size, but we can all be
frog-sized cows or Scanlan size.
It's gonna be an array.
A very strangely sized cows?
Super-chemy cows.
Well, don't you be like a calf?
Baby cow.
What do you think?
Yeah.
Does you want veal?
I'll allow it.
Yeah.
Gather close to me.
Okay.
We want to get in the pen first, right?
Yes, let's go on the pen.
Yeah, okay.
Let's all get in the cats.
If I'm going to wear the cowbell.
Sure.
You've heard it.
All right, you guys.
How are you going to put it on?
I'm just going to put it around your neck right now.
There are you.
Super loose.
You guys will make your way into the cow pen.
I'm so excited.
The little bit of moonlight that's coming down from the sky
illuminates, you see the cows are kind of clustered
underneath this overhang that's used for temporary shelter.
You hear the distance kind of like, as you approach and make noise.
If they know what time they come.
No one's too upset yet.
It's more low mutterings of approaching something.
Question.
Not yet.
If we use seeming, we just appear to be cows.
Correct.
And we can still speak.
can still speak, right?
Yeah.
We'll be talking cows.
Just anything sees you as cows.
Would be like, holy shit, those are talking cows.
A strange size, yeah.
It's cowmiflage.
Oh.
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's good.
That's good.
This is why.
This is why.
Let's be cows.
I have to give you experience for that.
Oh.
So wait, so what's going on?
Are we turning in two cows or are other creatures?
Are our other creatures gonna think work out?
Like cow.
I don't understand magic.
Just go along.
Go along with it.
That way we can ambush the birds.
We're gonna look like cows.
Are we gonna look like cows to each other too?
Yeah.
We'll find out.
Okay.
It'll be a smart.
As you all gather around, the small gnome
currently adorn with a dull bugging,
bunging,
around his neck.
It tastes like the brothels, eh?
You complete the spell and with a sudden,
whoosh of cold night air,
your vision blurs and you kind of blink for a second and look around.
And Vox Machina is now instead an array of slightly smaller than average cows.
Woof, whee.
Oh, wait, no.
You, by the way, a very, you're more of a calf.
Oh.
You're so cute scabler.
Okay, shall we go interview some cows?
Yeah, let's go talk to some cows.
The goat goes, the cow goes.
I want to walk over to the cows with you.
You guys step up.
up awkwardly towards the cows, some of which are sleeping,
some of which are just kind of noticing and sitting
and just kind of chewing.
Which one looks like the alpha male?
The one that's got horns.
There are no males in this pen.
Cows.
Because they're cows.
I go to the alpha female.
I go to one of the cows.
I try to speak.
To the cow.
Okay.
What do you say?
Hello.
I'm Tiberius.
Okay.
Kielis, you speak with animals.
You speak in common, like, like, you don't know cow.
Tiberius, just because you look like a cow
doesn't mean you can talk to the cows.
Well, I just thought we get it.
The cows don't understand English.
I thought I'd give it to whack.
No matter if you look like a cow,
they still don't understand.
Boy, if Uriel could see us now.
Heter cows are worthy.
I cast speak with animals.
This is the best box-mocking adventure ever.
All right, you can't speak with animals.
Yes.
Actually, how many animals can I hit with speak with animals?
It is called animals, right?
Or is it just speak with animals?
Well, I think it affects you.
I think it gives you the ability to speak with.
Oh, just need the ability to talk about it.
You're like Dr. Doolittle.
Oh, yeah.
I think you're right.
Okay, so I can't speak with animals on myself.
Oh, did you tell her about my name where I'm from, Pia?
Yep, on South for 10 minutes.
Make sure the cow.
What?
Is it where?
A cow that is over there.
Okay, so I go up, is there a cluster of nice looking ladies sitting around?
All the cows are clustered in this one corner kind of up against the for body warmth,
and there are feet that are kind of like, ooh.
Hello ladies, good evening.
What's up, girl?
Fine night night, correct?
You hear the response.
What are you doing?
Trying to sleep.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I do apologize to, to, to,
to awaken you.
I was just curious if you could tell me a little bit
about some of the events that have been transpiring
around here lately, mainly in the results
of your kind getting killed.
We're cows.
High kind?
Just ask about the bird.
Cows, have you seen a giant bird flying around anyone?
At which point all the cows kind of like,
sort of sharing around like, yes, yes, haven't you?
They keep taking us.
Why do you think we're hiding under this?
Sure.
Careful, if you stay out there, it'll see you.
Oh, right.
Oh, if you stay, where exactly?
Where, where?
Have they been, okay.
What's up?
Damn, cows.
Never goes well.
Keeling, can you tell?
What vital information have you learned?
I'll get back to you one second.
So nothing.
Can you tell me anything about what it looks like?
It's big and has wings.
It's fast and it keeps taking us.
Ask her when the moon is where is that at night.
Does it seem to come at a certain time of night?
There you go.
The dark time.
The dark.
It's a cow.
It's a cow.
This is the same people where it's a cow.
Because nothing is happening.
I am now trying to eat grass.
I for once.
So you bend down and take clusters with your hands
and start eating grass.
Guys.
We're ourselves still.
Yeah, you're not actually physically cows.
You're still yourselves.
You just look like cows.
I for once, and it's not weird,
I just shit on the floor.
Seems totally normal.
We are in it, baby.
I'm just gonna notch a bow, my bow,
just to keep a look out to this guy.
Um, guys.
Could I presiditate smells?
You could.
Oh, sweet.
Go ahead.
Right.
All right.
All right.
So we go out into the field.
We go out into the field.
Yeah, we wait.
They're cows.
I forgot that talking to cows never goes well.
Shucker.
They don't seem to know a lot.
The cows, it's okay.
They're simple-minded beasts.
Dork the ox.
Yeah, poor Dork.
Rest in peace.
Rest in peace, Dork.
Love you, dog.
Poor little out.
You guys make your way out to the middle,
and you wait a while, a good,
probably two hour period as cows,
before eventually you, keeping your eye to the sky,
with your arrow not to see a whisk of shadow can across the moonlight.
What was that?
I'm letting you guys fucking know there's a thing in the sky.
This is Jumanji at time?
Not quite.
At this point, you guys look up and you notice you see something circle once.
Oh shit.
It looks like a bird. It's just not as big as you were expecting.
Looks like a bigger hawk.
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The cast stone's going to rise off.
Okay.
And it's bigger.
And bigger.
I realize at this point it was further away.
Go for cow stuff.
23.
Okay.
I kind of.
You're still a cow.
Make myself look available.
Maybe I.
Oh, shit.
I step away from the rest of the herd.
I step away from the rest of the herd a little bit.
I go into a cow rage and start chewing faster.
Who would like to chew?
All right, so this entity.
High hunter's market.
Okay, well, it has come within range first.
As soon as it is.
As it swoops down, you see this bird just gets
larger and larger and realize it was quite a distance away,
and now that it's getting closer, it is,
the tails you've heard are true, this at least 100 foot wind span,
if not more, as it in a second.
I'm gonna fix my ring on it.
A hundred foot wingspan?
One hundred.
Like as it gets close, I'm bracing my ring
as it's coming towards.
Okay.
It comes, it dives down.
down with extreme speed goes
It just goes into a dive.
It comes in a range. You cast Hunter's Mark on it. You have your ring ready.
What are you doing? Cast low on it. Cast slow?
All righty. What is the DC on that?
17. And what is the save?
It's, it's concentration.
No wait, it is a concentration. Yes, it is. It's okay. I'm finding it. All right. It is wisdom.
Durep. All right. I should write that in.
Oh, that is, what was the DC?
17.
17?
That is an 18.
Oh.
So roll a natural 18 on that one.
Nice.
So as it swoops down, you release the spell, you are immediately attempting to be grasped in its talons.
Moo!
That is a...
Moo, moo, mo.
23 to hit.
That hits.
Boy.
All right.
take 23 points of slashing damage to your cal form, which, uh.
Well, I thought we were just, uh, okay, no, I'm sorry, you're not in cal form. Are you,
you're, you're not in cal form? No, I'm, I mean, I was, I'm normal. You're normal, right? Okay, so
I remember you said you were doing an actual cow form, but no. All right, so take 23 points
of slashing damage and you are currently grappled as it takes right back up into the air, clutching
keyless within its talent.
How fast can the rest of us do anything?
It's gone.
Now you guys can react.
It is currently 60 feet away from you.
I immediately, oh god, I shoot it.
That's all I can.
Do we have to roll for initiative?
Can I react?
Oh, you do.
I can't react.
But I was notched already.
You were hesitated.
Right, right.
We can react to it?
I'll give you advantage on your initiative.
Because you can build your notch,
but you use your last turn to cast Hunter's mark on it,
which you do things.
So everyone roll initiative, you have advantage,
or sorry, you have advantage of it because you were knocked
and because you're ready to react,
you have advantage on your initiative check.
But everyone else just rolled normally.
Okay.
All right, so that is 25 to 20.
21.
21.
20 to 15.
17. 18. 18.
18.
16.
Keele.
Scanlan.
Tyrese, what you guys got?
Six.
Five.
Okay.
All right, so Vex, you're up first.
I'm going to shoot it through the blazing bow screen.
Okay, go for it.
Roll for the attack.
16.
16 hits.
So, uh, 26.
26 points of damage.
All righty.
And then I'm going to shoot it again.
Go for it.
Legoo style.
That one definitely hits 26.
Yeah, it is.
26 again.
All right.
Nice.
All right.
That brings us to
I take the firebrand Warhammer, activate it, turn on the fire.
And I put the chain of it turning out and throw it at the wing and piece.
Okay, go ahead and roll with disadvantage because it is
quite, it's already 60 feet, roughly like 40 to 60 feet away from you.
Yeah.
It's tough.
It's tough to get this.
I'm not really good at range.
You can try.
15, no.
No, that's more.
16.
Okay.
Due to its distance,
Due to its distance and the dark cover of night,
it's harder to hit, and you actually swing and throw it,
and the hammer, the chain goes taut,
and it just drops to the ground, and it's just
that a range of the hammer, as it just escapes
the range it would have hit it with.
Can I pull it back?
Yeah, go for it.
That's easy enough, it's not watching anything.
You don't have to roll for it.
That one just.
All right, so that's your turn.
Vax.
I'd like to use a bonus action to click Boots of Haste together
and use, I think if I do that, I have two actions at that point, right?
No.
You have an additional action that can be used only to attack.
Just attack.
Okay, so what I want to do is click the boots of paste together.
Use the original action to run as far as I can towards the bird and then use my final action
to sneak attack the thing since it's got Keeluk and its talent.
That's a view.
Okay.
The sneak attack will not kick in because
is not threatening the creature.
Okay.
You go for the attacks.
You rush up, you dash, you get underneath it.
You kind of keeping, for a moment, because of the boots of haste,
you keep speed with this giant darting creature.
You just underneath, throw your daggers upward.
Go ahead and roll.
So, but it would just be one, I mean, if I use the dash to run as far as I can,
I would leave me with one attack, probably?
And your bonus without the damage.
I'm trying to be a Boy Scout here.
Would the Boots of Aaste clicking be the bonus action?
Yeah.
Okay, so that is a...
So that is 22 to hit.
That hits.
All right.
And that's not a whole lot.
What's the range you can get on the .
It's 10.
10?
10?
Yeah.
You roll again for disadvantage,
because it's just within your secondary throwing range.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Then I missed.
Okay.
Van vanishes into the dark night ahead of you.
So yeah, that is gone.
This is going from bad to worse real quick.
You still have your belt turning, you still don't have your snake belt.
Okay.
Yeah, I have my returning, but yeah.
Don't worry, guys.
That's all the look in your face.
I'm like, no, that's fine.
It comes back.
Okay, so that, uh, Kilith, you're up.
They're currently grappled and held within the talons of this giant bird.
You just see the entire ground just below you.
Judging, judging by the fairly close-up appearance that I have of him.
have of him at this point. Can I tell it's probably a beast nature?
Uh, you, at the sheer size, it's hard to tell. Um, you've never encountered a beast of this size, but you do look up and you can see the talons that are currently holding you in place and kind of piercing the sides of your armor and they're enforcing you are bird-like talons and you do see a series of dark feathers coating the entire underbelly of this, this entity.
Okay, I'm going to attempt to cast Dominate Beast.
Okay.
All right.
Let's make it with some saving throw.
The, uh...
Is your enhance ability still active from before?
As for ability checks with it.
Oh, yeah.
So you finished casting the spell.
Apparently this entity is not affected by the spell.
That's not a beast.
It's not a beast.
There's a fine line when certain creatures of nature
are altered by some sort of magical essence
for their nature perhaps is not natural at the get-go,
either they were created or over time they became
something beyond beast, this seems to fall into that category.
It's a pigeon.
Exactly.
Exactly.
That's my turn, right?
That's your turn.
That brings this to its turn.
It goes for a full.
Can I try and break the grapple as a bonus action?
That would be your action to try and break the grapple.
It would be an action.
For this creature's turn, it just does a full.
full double dash of its full flight speed and is about 250 feet away from you and completely
out of your guys reach. You see it up into the sky, disappearing to the north, north, northwest
area beyond Imman carrying Keelith in its claws. Keelith, just get out of its fucking hands
and fall. You can change, we'll catch it, do something, just fall. You're close enough of you
still hear this, as the kind of the desperation kicks in you realize, and seeing your whole party
just, they're not even visible at this point except from a couple of dark dots.
in the low light of the night.
Is it our turn yet?
It now comes to Scanlan's turn.
Okay, and Dimension Door.
What's the range of dimension door?
500 feet.
You and appear where? Where do you want to appear?
On it. On its back.
Okay.
You appear right on its back.
Stay with it. Stay with it.
You immediately, like, land and
sliding back as the wind is pushing on.
Yes!
The feathers themselves and do the aerodynamic nature of its flight.
It's a lot of wind resistance against you.
Make an acrobatics check.
Oh, sure.
Shit, stop!
No, no, I was going there.
No way.
This is where it is.
You go ahead and make an acrobatics check to see if you can maintain balance on the back of this piece.
My intelligence is not six.
20.
You manage to just, you tumble backward a little bit,
you grab a couple of feathers and get yourself just on the side underneath where the wing meets the part of the upper torso,
where the wind resistance is the least amount, and you manage to hold on.
So you are now clutching the back of this giant bird.
Okay.
Cool.
That's your turn.
Okay.
As my bonus action, I will inspire Keyleth.
Right?
She's right next to me, right?
Scallon!
You gotta be real level.
What the shit?
You can see you a little bit below there.
The way you kick so much ass like nobody else.
Scalwin!
You get me overwhelmed.
You don't know.
Uh-oh.
You don't know you're powerful.
Oh.
Oh.
That's what makes it powerful.
Due to the wind, you don't hear the last line.
It's too loud around it, but however, you do take a deep to inspiration dice.
What a hell, heroic.
Move.
Amazing.
Which for the record, this currently right now looks like you see the cow clutched below,
and currently there is a cow holding on.
It lasts eight hours.
Same tiny cow.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
All right, that ends your turn.
Tiberius.
Good.
I dropped Stone Skin.
And at fifth level, I go myself.
One, two, three.
I cast fly on all of us.
Fire force!
Fly!
And go right after him.
All right.
All of you guys, at that point you see Tiberius
and you all take off after.
I hope we don't get in trouble for fleeing anymore.
The cows.
take off into the night sky.
Facht Magna Boo!
A squattuckina.
A squattie.
A squattie.
A weirdly sized flying cows, lit by moonlight,
chasing after a giant bird.
It's the Hanlon logo, except for cow.
I love Dungeons and Dragon.
What is this?
What's the fly speed on flying?
Mine is the double.
60 feet.
Six feet. Cool.
I'm gonna dash on that.
Yep. You guys can go.
120 feet every turn.
It can go 240.
Two rounds pass before you guys realize there is no way
you're gonna catch up with this thing.
But I've got hater's marks.
I've got hatter's mark on it.
Correct.
So I can track it.
Double me, yo, I got haste.
Your haste speed, your physical body doesn't affect
the fly spell, unfortunately.
You're only at the speed that the arcane nature
of the smell can take care.
Mue earns.
What's just saying?
Your metabolism is real fast, your heartbeats
like hummingferting it, but you're still only going on an 80 feet.
60 feet. So as you guys follow behind, you can see now, after a while, on the edge of the shoreline,
not too far from Iman, maybe like what would normally be from horseback or, you know,
a risk walk, half days travel. You eventually come upon the, there it is. You come upon the coastal
mountains known as the shoreline summit. It's a series of unusually steep mountain bluffs that hug
the coastline northwest of Baman. As you get closer, and at this point you've lost sight
of the bird. Scanlon, I want you to go ahead and roll an athletics check.
Athletics?
Yeah.
That's not good.
Athletics?
16.
16.
Okay.
You still manage to keep hold for portion of the length of the journey as it moves and shifts
and the wind itself is still blowing in your face, though minimized by your current position.
It's still, it's a trial to hold on to this large creature as it makes its wings beat and just the sheer force of its movement.
All right, so you get closer to these these mountaintops.
Do I have a turn yet? Can I do anything?
You can go ahead and take your turn out too, yes?
Yeah?
Yep.
I cast polymorph on it.
Oh shit.
And I love.
You're on it.
Don't worry about me.
Really?
I'm fine.
You never need to worry about me.
You never need to worry about me.
Haven't you guys learned that by now?
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Out of thematic reasons, I also turn him into a cow.
That's amazing.
It's what she cries out heroically.
MOO!
Okay.
What's the DC on this?
My spell is fantastic.
My spell DC?
18.
World one.
With the cows!
It's like a cow!
Giant flying bird.
Oh my god.
It just begins to plummet at an extremely speed.
You guys both immediately are released for its grasp.
Scamlin and Kyla both are just falling.
How high up already?
You guys don't see this.
It's too far away from you now.
At this point, you're probably close to about, I'd say, 500.
500 feet in the air.
Yo, I heard you like cow, so I gave you some cow with your cow.
This is, this is...
I hope this inspires the next Diablo Cow level, guys.
We really need to look into this.
Alright, so you guys are now both plummeting...
Yeah.
And falling at a really, really rapid speed,
I go to eagle form.
You go to Eagle Form?
You're fine.
So you go into Eagle Form.
That's your action this turn.
That's your bonus action, because you can do that as a...
As a bonus action.
Whoa, really?
That was a plan.
So, Eagle Form. Scanlon, then you plummet.
Full speed on this one, you probably have another two rounds before you impact with something very painful.
But he's like as heavy as a dust mode, so he just kind of goes like this all the way down, right?
He's a calf.
That's how it works.
No, he's a little pebble.
All right, so.
I can catch him if you need catch.
You guys still continue to give chase. Eventually, you see this giant thing that should go in vanish from sight.
It's just gone.
Where do you go?
Oh, I go full Gandalf!
Shh!
All right.
I never go full Gandalf.
Never go.
You guys, pushing forward.
So, it's now the next round for you guys to react.
What are you doing?
I will become a teradactyl.
So you're casting...
Polymorph on myself?
Okay.
Because you are falling, and this is a lot of win, I'm going to have to ask you to make a concentration check to complete the spell.
Come on, Scanlan!
So go ahead and roll.
D20.
This is a concentration, not on holding a spell, but on casting it.
Correct, because as part of the components of it, maintaining your attention to the spell.
What does he add his spell attack bonus?
This, no, this is, it's a D20 and, let me just make sure I do it, yeah.
It's a D20, and then you add your plus five from your, your charisma.
That's a natural 20.
Oh!
Snap!
Snap!
We died.
Shit!
Yeah!
You're not cool.
Woo!
Move!
You're both flying cows.
Move!
Wait, was seeming a concentration?
Does that mean...
I think it has...
Did we just drop?
Are we no longer cows?
I think so.
I'll check.
Hey, you're not a cow anymore!
Oh my god, you're not a cow anymore!
Oh, my god, you're not a cow anymore!
Awesome.
You guys keep flying.
You guys catch a cow.
yourself. Nope, not concentration. It just lasts for eight hours.
You're all still flying cows. Just a squadron of flying illusory cows.
Yeah. But you guys are both now transformed into an eagle and a
taradactyl. But you look like cows. But you still look like cows.
As the twins are flying, say hey, did you notice we have the same pattern?
Twins!
about this time.
This is utterly reduced.
You hear a loud, impactful,
boom.
There's a cloud of dust partway into the side
of this first bit of mountain range that you come upon.
Come on, please, sick.
A little bit distant from you guys.
Can I fly down towards it?
You start heading that direction.
Because of the speed it was traveling at
and the way it was carrying it, the speed was going,
it's still ahead of you guys.
And you see just, the impact.
You hear this loud,
Screeching sound and you see now where there was a little poof-p-p-coud, these wings
fuf unfold and whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
Oh, fuck. It's still fun.
How far away from it, are we?
You guys right now at the, I'd say, probably close to five, six minutes you've been traveling.
Did it not drop the Cal does your hitphones?
What's what?
It did, but then it's terrible.
All the damage carries zero comes back.
So it's hurt, but it's.
The remainder of that damage.
I don't know, it looks hurt.
It looks hurt.
It continues back up.
From you Tiberius, it's probably close to 700 to 800 feet away from you.
Damn it.
Because the speed it was traveling, the speed you guys were following, it was gaining on you every single turn.
Is it flying away from us now?
It's heading up into the mountain range.
Fly after that, motherfucker.
Should we still track it?
Yeah.
It's still nighttime, right?
It's still nighttime, yeah.
Okay.
It's only 500 feet away from you right now?
6,500 or 500 feet.
Okay, cool. I'm going for it still.
What are you doing?
Following it?
Where are you following it?
Where am I?
It's taking off right now, and I'm like,
right now and I'm like over here.
You're back here.
It's now starting to take off and head up towards the top
of this mountain range that you're just starting to come upon.
Okay. If it's doing that, then I'll fucking go like higher
and try to meet it where it's going.
Okay. All right, cool.
The rest of you guys continue to give Chase, now that it's
referred to its form, it travels an additional double dash
200 and 240 feet. As this progresses, it's far beyond any of you guys.
Is the mountain range like really far away?
No, it's, you just hit the outskirts of the mountain range. It got there first. You
guys just catch up to where it starts and you see it's like now dodged between a few
the mountains and is currently no longer in sight. There was a little bit of low cloud cover
in this area, just kind of drift by and cover a couple of mountains. But this little cluster
of seaside cliffs and the mountains, as you get closer you can see, there's, it's dotted
with high altitude trees.
There's precariously perched goats
that are sleeping on elements of the sides of this mountain.
Can you track it?
I can track it, of course.
So you're keeping your attention on.
Is that your horns?
Yes.
The winds also are pretty strong as you get close to the mountains.
And you can, as you coast around each,
you start actually diving into this kind of this middle valley area.
I'm going to pass that a trace on all of us.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
Does that affect any of your stealth?
No, it just makes a stealth easier.
It doesn't draw a hunter for?
Is it concentration?
No, it's not concentration, it's an action.
Oh, wait.
How do I think so?
Pass that a trace, concentration.
Where does it say it?
There's a C.
There's a C.
Somewhere concentration.
Oh, never mind, it's a concentration.
Forget it.
Okay.
I don't know how these things work yet.
Yeah, they stick to those bows and arrows.
Traveling through this area, you can see that the mountains,
the way that they're constructing this area,
it's not like a gradual crack.
A lot of these are just kind of punched up in the air,
like whatever heavy seismic force that created this initiative,
this initially was very localized and very powerful. A lot of mountains are spire-like.
They come up with very, very sheer sides, and you can see why this mountain range is largely
not utilized or traversed or generally spoken of often because it's too dangerous for most
average folk to even attempt to climb or use for any good reason. The winds are high and powerful
here at the tops as well. As you're flying around, you get the winds blowing across it, and you kind
of get pushed off your course a little bit here and there, but you still kind of keep up best
as possible, you kind of leading the charge. Over about five minutes of searching through
this mountain range, you sense that its movement eventually comes to a stop.
Okay.
That's the best.
Wait, you sense that he came to a stop?
He came to a stop. A little bit ahead of us.
Let's go get him. Yeah, fuck it. Let's go.
Can we all try to stealth in?
I'm a terra-dactal, so...
Yeah, let's go for the element of surprise. Well, technically we're also counts.
Yes.
Yes.
You guys cannot talk because you are actually in future forms.
All right, well I'm going to try to stealth.
Yeah.
Let's go in.
Mountains are my favorite terrain.
They are.
One of them.
Do you want to go onto the mountain itself, or are you still flying amongst them?
Oh, I'll still fly.
So you would not get the advantage because of the air is not your favorite terrain.
So everyone wishes to, go ahead and roll.
Stealth checks.
All of us?
All of you who wish to try and come at it from a quiet,
It's a good.
With advantage, I rolled a two.
Okay.
I'm not used to being flying, really.
It is strange.
Or a cow.
Quiet.
Are we flying anymore?
You guys are all still flying, yeah.
Oh, shit, okay.
Oh, no.
Okay.
21.
14.
14.
28.
Yeah.
So as guys, falling behind Vex, many of you clumsily and some of you shouting after each other,
like, I think she sees it this way, and you're like, oh my God.
You come around this one bend and you can see one of the larger mountainous spires that
has a lot of trees and kind of green growth towards the top at certain places where the rock
kind of juts out and gives a shelf for such greenery to grow outside of its sheer outside surface.
We do see a couple of wings kind of enfold in against the moonlight in what looks to be an
outcropping. There are multiple layers of kind of rock shelves in the side of this mountain.
On one of these outcroppings, there appears to be some sort of a nest, a cluster of what
was like actual like trees and pieces of wood that are all jamming in this giant nest that's
just nestled against where the shadow and the moonlight kind of are fighting for some sort of
visual on it.
Big, as tree fortress.
Did we just find like a mama bird and baby birds?
Yeah.
Yeah, we did.
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna take out of mama train the babies.
Yep.
What are we gonna do?
Yeah.
We're gonna capture those babies and we're gonna train them.
Jesus.
It was a good idea.
I like the like Avatar?
Yes.
Me go in?
There's a giant fucking nest here.
I kind of get close to it as close as I feel safe getting to it.
You guys all stay back and you go over there.
I'm gonna cast spirit of
I can cast greater invisibility on myself and then follow.
Okay. You guys have 12 seconds before you all plummet.
Oh wait, no, I don't do that. Damn it. I forget there was some flying.
Oh yeah. What part of the flying part did you forget?
No, I'm gonna land already.
Are you guys going with Vex? Are you all staying kind of back and she's going on?
Are we gonna lose fly or do we keep it?
Are you casting greater invisibility?
Can we drop?
You're fine.
Is it the same stealth roll or an adult?
additional self-roll to go forward at this point.
No, this was your stealth role in approaching, so.
Well, I mean, like, I knew I roll shitty, so do I do you?
You don't know you rolled shitty, but just.
I'm going in.
All right, so Vax and Grog, you kind of approach
gliding cows, just drifting through the night sky.
So stupid.
Buf and hoof.
You guys.
Well, I'll approach because I have to keep a nice of time.
Yeah, so you guys all kind of, you all realize you kind of keep
close together to Tiberius as you come in,
keeping too much distance will be a bad thing.
You come upon the underneath portion of this outcropping.
You can see within a quick glance,
go ahead and make a perception check,
all of you guys, you who are coming up with this cluster.
Three.
Do I get an advantage?
Because we're in a mountain environment at all.
Damn it!
Actually, no, because you're seeing things on a mountain,
I will give you advantage.
Yes.
Sixteen.
Awesome, that was so much better.
12?
16.
16.
13.
12.
So the highest was?
16.
Oh, 13.
16.
You got three.
As you guys all look up, you, it's very shadowy over here.
It's hard to see the moonlight's kind of in your eye and a little bit in the darkness.
It's so pitched.
The umbra of this particular shadow is very dark and crushed.
You make out in the nest the large bird creature has kind of folded its wings and is currently like kind of leaning down.
And you see something in the nest.
in the nest that's kind of much smaller and moving up next to it.
Killing the farmer's cows.
We can just transplant her.
Maybe we can...
...to a wildlife preserve?
Yeah.
...and her baby.
...and move her away from town.
That seems complicated.
Are they on the highest peak or are they...
No, there's like two other levels of above this.
This one just kind of one of the largest outcroppings.
I'm going to kind of swoop up over them, see if there's any boulders to drop.
Okay. Looking over it, there are no loose rocks or boulders. In fact, because of the construction of these mountains, they're like solid spires that kind of jump up and then abruptly end.
All the erosion that happens here appears to be gradual enough, but that's why the sides of the mountains are so smooth and unclimbable.
It's a very strange topography in these mountains.
It starts like a sheer peak and they're kind of like nested on the side of it?
Yeah, the sheer peak that kind of rounds off at the very top.
there are little outcroppings kind of jut out in places as it goes down, but those are more
towards the top, and as you go down further, as most of the erosion hits the mountain lower
and lower, it kind of has carved off or destroyed most what would have been previous outcroppings
or smooth them over.
How far away are we know?
You guys are probably a good, I'd say, 60 or 50 feet if you're trying to get up within
range of your fly, right? What's the range on that?
Fly.
Yeah?
Fly?
I got it.
Okay, so we...
Oh, no, there is no range on it.
You just touch them.
Oh.
So they're fine.
No, as long as you're concentrating on it, you're fine.
Okay.
Good to know.
There you go.
You're learning something like...
You're looking a little more of a distance on here.
However, at this point is you guys are kind of all kind of encroaching and Scannon's gone overhead.
A voice rings out against the darkness.
Flying cows!
Really?
I cannot for this insolence.
for this insolence. If you've come to mock me or fight me, do it now.
I'm gonna-
Or leave this creature alone!
What-
Where are you? Who are you?
Who are you?
Who are you on?
Arcanichick of 17 of my surroundings, where it's coming from.
Ditto, I try to perceive where it's coming from.
Okay, Arcona-check, does nothing arcane nature. It's not omnipresenter coming from any of the place.
There is just a direction that's coming from, which is from the outcropping or nest area.
Well, that's good.
There's nothing arcane nature to it.
It's in the shadow.
You can't really see it from this distance.
Is it in front of us to the side of us?
Is it coming from where the bird seems?
It's coming from where the bird is.
He's controlling it.
I fly over as an eagle.
Okay.
You still look like a cow eagle.
Can we drop seeming?
It's not under your control and you can't talk to.
I yell out.
I yell out, you've been stealing the farmer's livestock.
Give us a reason not to kill you.
That's good.
The pharmacy.
I mean, moo.
I don't sound like a cat.
You guys are all keeping you distance from it?
Yeah.
The voice rings out again.
Your nature confuses me and your words seem ill-informed.
If you're not going to come to speak of discourse,
I'm going to assume that you're my enemy.
Well, and then as he's saying that,
approach. So Tiberius, cow, goes, and as I approach the thing, I'm going to dispel magic.
Even if it was.
Okay. Cool. For disbloging this, I need you to go ahead.
Just the sake of this. I'll consider contested because you're allies in this thing.
So you land, Tiberius' form, shimmers and returns back to that of a dragon born.
Oh. And you're sitting there in the precipice. Go ahead and roll perception check.
It was at 11.
Okay.
It's hard to make out the details, but the voice is definitely coming from the nest.
You see there is something vaguely humanoid, but it's hard to make out the shape at this
distance with this low light.
Especially since you're a dark vision gifted entity.
However it is, it's close to this bird creature.
I'm going to say, is this big bird thing asleep?
You will not harm this creature poachers.
I'm not trying to helmet at all.
I'm just thinking it's fine.
I can't see anything and I want it to cast a light
so I could see something but I don't want to hurt your bird's eyes.
You can see the birds kind of moving and it's like it's kind of looking towards your direction
and it has this kind of like...
Can I make an idea so it's awake?
It's awake and it looks like it's hurt.
And it's like...
You come here, masqueraded as whatever matter of beasts you are.
Cows, cows.
We were cows.
After tormenting and severely wounding this beautiful creature.
We didn't do anything to the creature.
We, no, we were, the farm, this creature was stealing the farmer's cows.
And so we, the farmers were saying, you're taking our livestock, which is hurting the farm.
Then we came to help them, and we posed his cows, and then the airport took a...
He's blithering. Can I make an additional cow stealth check?
To come up, just to come up behind the guy.
Near him, not even near him. Just get a better advantage.
Go for it, make it with a disadvantage.
Just because...
Does that cancel out with my advantage for my cloak?
Yes.
A cow and a cloak.
You are a flying cow in the moonlight against an individual that is very aware of your presence.
Shut up, baby, I know it.
I don't know it.
That is good.
That is...
That's 31.
Yeah, 31.
Damn stupid.
Move.
Helpfully cow your way up to the side of this precipice, seemingly unnoticed.
Yeah.
Right close and watching.
You getting a view of this creation.
You can see this, this nest is a cluster of driftwood and chunks of shipwreck and carts and
carts and wagon wheel.
and whatever pieces of wood have been scavenged from different time periods, some are weathered,
some are more fresh, and trees, whole trees that are broken and shredded have all been cobbled
together to make this nest. In the center of this, I'm going to take the intensity
down on this a little bit, you see there up against this bird, and the bird itself is
like twitching and looks like it's hurt, not like deeply hurt, but hurt. You see a small human
Pretty small, like scaling small. Hard to make out details, but it is currently in the process of doing a repeated hand motion and then touching and hand motion and then touching. And you've seen this motion before.
Touching the bird. There is a perpetual string of pure wounds being applied to this bird.
I also approach and come out of my eagle form. Light.
Are you landing somewhere?
Next to Tiberius.
As the...
But I'm gonna blog it with my hand, so it's not gonna blind the bird.
Okay. As the light picks up, you can see the bird kind of...
It's okay.
...way for a second and starts to like clap its wings instinctually.
And once again, like seeing it up close, this bird is really big.
The human entity becomes immediately visible and it is...
It is a gnome.
You can see he's dressed in hides and roughly crafted leather and furs. He has tussled,
greasy black hair that hangs past his shoulders, covering a bedraggled and bearded face.
He's holding up his arm and looks thin and he's covering the light and he's like, you!
Sorry, I tried to not learn you. I was just, it was very dark. I'm sorry. Hello. I mean you no harm.
The gnome kind of slams this small, kind of wooden flack of a term, like a small staff
or cane, slams it into the ground with a footstop, and you can see the gnome's entire body
sudden begin to shift and change into this dark, kind of gnarled-looking hard surface, like the entire body becomes
like the tree from.
No, no, it's dark skin, it's just dark skin, it's just defense.
You know.
All right, so you cow stealth up
to the side of this guy.
Let's get ready to rumble.
All right.
Go ahead and make an attack.
I pause.
I pause.
Okay.
You are currently now like crouched right behind the edge of this nest
and you can't actually see the guy anymore
because you kind of, you know, to get up there.
You've come underneath to stay hidden and you're just there behind.
Can I see Vax?
No.
Well, actually, go ahead, roll a perception check.
Is it higher than a 31?
Is it higher than a 31?
Yeah.
No, it's a 23, though.
You have no idea where Vax is.
I'm way up above of them still, right?
Do I see anything?
No, actually, you see there's another, you know, section above there.
It looks like there's nothing else have interested in like some growth, a few bushes and some vines that hang down the side of some of these platforms.
Somebody talk to him before I kill this fucking bird.
I land beside Tiberius.
I am talking to him.
I land beside Tiberius and come out of Eagle Farm.
I'm Tiberius.
Will you please dispel this cow form from me?
Please.
Please.
Fine.
Thank you.
And with that, you cast a spell magic,
and Keelith's form reverts that to Keelith,
normal keelith, non-Calkelet.
The gnome character now has the staff in the back
and has a hand in front.
They're just like, come, friend.
You're a druid.
I'm also a druid.
I think our girl.
Those might be in line.
Really?
It's okay.
What's her name?
This creature has no name to it yet.
I, myself, and am protector of the wild,
as you claim to be as well.
I have no tribe, but the trees around me.
I hear the whisper of the wind, and it calls for justice.
I can relate to that.
Then why do you follow? Why do you insist on harming?
This creature.
Because we were seeking justice for other people.
What?
For the civilized folk of the city?
You should know more than most.
They sit there, taking beautiful creatures of nature,
making them fat, informless, and worth nothing
to slaughter them without life and purpose of their existence.
I know.
The life and purpose of their existence is to keep those other people alive
and the towns in them.
And why is it not the same with this creature
if they cannot guard their livestock,
Why is it not food for this thing as well? It is the natural life cycle that they've removed themselves from
When one has an establishment when one grows its own crop and one steals something it is considered a crime
Well, the one is not part of that civilization, but the civilization of the world as a whole which requires hunting for what keeps you alive
Perhaps that does not sink or hang on my conscience
Let's fair point
Not let this escalate
Okay? I'm not
I'm fine.
What is your name?
I was once called Viren.
Viren.
Viren.
Byron.
But I've not heard my name, nor spoken words, for many years.
Would you not like to be called Byron, or would you like something else like B-Roy or like B-Man?
No.
My name's Tiberius Stormwin from Johannes.
This is my friend Kieleth, who is also a Druid.
I also have a friend who is a gnome, sing songs and whatnot.
The bird, now looking of much better health than it was when it arrived, now kind of flutters
its wings out like a stretching motion, and as its head glides it down and looks right
towards you, this giant beak that looks like it could snap you in two with a single bite.
I reach up to it and just reach out to pet its beak.
I'm gonna ask you to make an animal handling check on this, just to see where this goes.
He'll gently start swooping down to check on my friend.
19.
All right.
The large bird type creature retracts from your intended touch and begins to rear back into the nest in a defensive position.
Doesn't bite your hand off.
I just kneel.
Down a bit. Produce a few good berries. Reach out.
Bye, Kila.
This is how we lose one of our memories.
Feeding up my arm.
The creature kind of like leans forward, the giant bird.
You can see it's dark black eyes kind of staring at each eye,
probably about the size of your torso.
Oh, geez.
As the giant beak comes down, you can see the moonlight kind of gliding off the smooth exterior
of the dark black beak.
black beak. It kind of smells, and you take 27 points of piercing damage as the animal takes
the good berries and almost your entire hand with it as well.
And that size, it's hard to be gentle.
Yeah.
It's okay.
It's being friendly.
It's all right.
So you retract your hand, which is now essentially in many ways bones are broken,
it feels like there's blood streaming down the side of your hand.
and like drip, drip, drip, drip, drip.
It's a good girl.
Is it?
Swallows.
It's a good girl.
I'm feeding a tiny snack to Lockheed.
I turn back to Byron.
And say, ow.
Yeah, they go, that hurt.
Now, please listen to me, please.
Please, listen to me.
We did come here to kill giant creature.
I had assumed.
But upon seeing the situation, upon approach,
realize the situation,
and decided amongst all of us
that we did not want to bring such a great creature to its death.
Scanlan, you've landed by now.
A cow-looking pteradactyl.
And she's true. I've never seen anything quite like it.
Making persuasion, sir.
I'm gonna aid her too.
All I've seen so far is,
Keyless, bloody hand.
20 total.
She doesn't need it.
You have advantage on this because Tiberius
is aiding you on this conversation.
I'll take that 20 total.
Okay.
All right.
He looks at you.
Well, shall you leave us then?
Under one condition.
There's always a condition.
You call yourself a druid, yet you speak like the civilized folk.
I get the feeling that perhaps your connection to nature has not been tending to for some time.
No, no, she really knows her stuff.
I mean, we just fought this fire guy.
Just because one can appreciate nature does not mean that one cannot also appreciate humanity.
Well, this beautiful creature is the only one.
is the only surviving young of a clutch
bred by a majestic rock high in the cliff keep mountains.
Mountains.
Its mother now lies dead slain by the brutal giants
that wander those peaks.
Giants.
This youngen is all that remains of that clutch
and memory of that blessed entity.
That's a youngan?
Whoa.
This is a young one.
Oh, Temple snap. That's terrible.
This new home, sir,
as well. Abundance of feed, lack of large predatory creatures. I believe this is where we'll stay.
Question. If this is a young, adolescent creature, what do you think of the destruction it could cause once it reaches full adulthood?
Are you okay with having that on your conscience? This creature could result in the lives of many.
if you just
relocate out of town
just a few miles
say like 50 or 100 or so
because this thing's really damn big
so I'm sure it's got a pretty big
yeah you know what I mean
or just the other way
like we I will help you
I will personally come with you and tend
to their safety and make sure
that their location
is proper
and safe and handled with respect
and then you will be out of the harms of poachers.
You can live off the land and you can be free and alone.
Do you think we came straight to this mountain range?
Do you think this is the first nest we've constructed?
Me and this lone survivor have scoured the length of this idol Taudore.
This, as far as I can see, is the safest.
It's the most ignored by no.
nearby civilization.
Listen.
I'm gonna drop.
If we...
I'm gonna drop seeming and also drop my form.
Okay, all of you now...
Teradacral.
Your forms change.
And as this happens mid-sentence,
it's noticed immediately by the gnome druid.
It was like...
Yes.
That is correct.
And listen, we are being nice.
Don't think that we will be the first.
You will have more people come and hunt you and kill this as this beast continues.
How long do you think you can survive waves of mercenaries coming to try and kill this?
We are the nice ones.
I suggest you heed our warning, take our help, and save the life of you and your creature in the long run.
You have yet to provide a suitable alternative.
alternative. Oh, I might have an idea.
Opekeeper of the land.
There is an alternative.
Tiberius can tell you of that alternative.
This. See, your creature is rather
large powerful, yes, and you have a rather strong bond with it,
which is quite unique with such a unique-looking creature.
I was setting you up for an awesome one-liner, man.
You were supposed to be like the other option is death.
Ask him if he's considered Whitestone.
Whitestone?
Yeah.
Um, well, well,
I guess there's a couple of options, really.
There's this town, Whitestone, that's pretty great,
and has a lot of livestock that this creature can just consume.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
No, no.
Go ahead and get a deception check.
That is a 24.
Whitestone.
No, no.
Wait, no, hang on.
No, no.
No, this is getting out of control already.
I will not, I will not let you all do this.
Nope, not today.
You guys have caused enough problems.
we are not going to push this creature off on other people.
I'm trying, all right?
I'm trying, I'm working on it.
I don't want to push this problem off on the town
that's already being held hostage by vampires.
That fucking sucks.
That's double shitting on them.
Well, the other option was, like I was saying,
is perhaps you can form a kind of agreement with him on.
I'm sure it would rather pay in livestock rather well
for the protection of you, such a powerful druid,
over at least a section of the land
in exchange for free food for your friend.
Perhaps there could be...
Dragon Man.
Yes, Tiberius.
Are adorably naive.
That's what you sound, my mother.
The ways of men
and those that lie in deceive.
I have yet to have met
any civilized people
who have kept their word
when it came to creatures
like this.
Oh, can I come forward?
Yeah.
All right.
What about Vasilheim?
Not in the city, but like outside of it, there's plentiful forests, tons of giant creatures that could feed on.
Oh, that's right. That's true.
That actually is fairly true.
Those towns people have a dazzling problem.
There's so many monsters out there.
They don't hunt them all because there's like too many.
That's a wonderful idea of X.
Thank you.
Yes. And that's 100% true.
The persuasion check.
Oh, good.
I'll ink her as well.
I'll say you've evaded one person recently.
This will be just her check on this.
This is a...
He really doesn't trust you.
Oh, not bad.
21?
21?
Natural 20.
Then, then, then, as a natural 20, you know, that's good for you.
That's the best place you can go.
You can see the wisdom in my persuasion.
Is he's true, though?
I mean, it's just feeling.
walking all around for it.
Please, please listen to us.
We're only trying to help.
Do, do, is there a young,
young creature around here?
I mean, besides the,
no, he's a, the same.
Looking about, you can see,
this nest is, is,
but there's no babies or no.
This is the young.
This bird is like the adolescent.
I let this thing almost take my hand off,
and I'm still standing here, fairly cogently
talking to you, so please,
take that as a sign of honesty.
Where are we sending them?
I go and put my hand on her back and cast
care wounds, because I got that spell now, yo.
Thank you.
Here on X.
Where are we telling them to go?
Vasselheim.
Vasselheim?
Listen, she's right.
And we have friends in Vasselheim.
We can contact the Slayer's take.
We're a part of their guild.
We can tell them that you're coming.
They will not bother you.
We can tell them they are not allowed to take.
take out a contract on your creature?
You will not be harmed.
Just don't bring up contracts,
maybe just don't even bring it up.
Because they don't have mercenaries out there.
You have to, like, you have to,
it has to be, like, approved.
So it's really good.
It's better for you.
Then what's to stop them from hunting down
a majestic creature as rare as this one?
Trust me.
You, who live here in Amon?
No, us who are members of the guild.
We're members of the guild.
So you also are monster slayers
who come here under the guise
to slay this monster.
No, not here.
other places that we're forced to do it,
but still were members and we can take advantage of our membership.
Too much, talk.
Can we kill this thing out?
No.
You guys are doing awesome.
Yep.
I feel like I've done pretty damn good.
Listen.
Don't bring up, just don't remember,
just don't go, go, go.
Listen, earlier you...
Come on, man.
I'm to go.
Listen, and I start speaking a gnome to him.
Oh yeah, yeah, do that.
Listen, earlier you said that this place was perfect.
It was safe. There were no large predators.
predators. Well, you're looking at six large predators, and we'll keep hunting you down and
hunting your beasts down until you get out of here. So this is your one and only warning. You
must leave and you must leave now. We're giving you a good choice, a safe choice, and we can
help you get there and be safe there. But if you don't listen to us, we'll start killing.
Makes persuasion wrong.
How many fucking persuasion rules is that on me?
Fuck.
Persuasion?
This is essentially a conversational skill challenge, so every success and failure leads towards where the conversation is going to end.
32.
Beretta.
He gives you a look very intense, looking into your very essence-type stare, his little beady-nomish eyes meeting yours.
If we're going to make this journey to you, I say this Vasselheim is, how far is it?
Several days journey.
It's just across the water.
You could fly in no problem over it.
Cross the sea.
No.
Yeah.
Yes.
It's like north.
We can draw you a map.
We can give you provisions.
We'll even make sure that the farmers provide you with a few pieces of livestock to chow down on before the journey.
A parting gift.
Parting gift to fuel up before the big ride.
We can give you papers to hand to the Slayer's take that will ensure that you'll be treated fairly.
Please.
I'll take out my tele-clethal transcription and start writing a note.
Please.
He looks back towards Keeleth, looks back at Scanlan, looks back at Keeleth, looks up at the bird.
Please. We really don't need another death on our conscience today.
Then, it looks like we don't have much of a choice, do we?
If you can assure us enough food to get across on this journey, we'll make our way towards
this Vasselheim, and I pray on the solidarity between our kin and our kin.
I do speak the truth that resonates this moment, because if it does not, may the fall of
this entity and myself weigh on your conscience.
I'll flip under the note that I'm writing to him, and then I trigger it as he's reading it.
That sends it to it. That's what I'm saying.
It vanishes.
Expect this. All right.
As the sun rises, two sizable pieces of livestock to be placed at the boundaries of the usual hunting site.
If those are there, and it is taken without any sort of aggression, we'll take that as a sign.
that you are being honest, and we shan't bother you or your people any further.
I bow deeply, and when I do, it goes,
do-dun, do-dun.
For a moment, for a moment, you think you hear a slight uncontrollable chuckle from the gnome.
I guess as that's going on, so we're going to head back right now to seal this up, right?
Then I'll do my teleportation circle.
Are we going?
What's just closer to the northeast?
In the Lyceum, where?
What's going on?
Where are you taking this?
To the north side of it?
That'd be the license.
We could fly back pretty fast, couldn't we?
Couldn't we?
He's not going to fly back.
Yeah, we could just fly back.
Here, your call.
We can tell a portion taste.
Circle tiered.
Before he leaves.
Well, wait, we can't go back.
We gotta go back.
We gotta go to the farmers.
We gotta go to the farmers.
We gotta buy some cows off them.
We can fly back.
And I tell him, if you're up that way,
There's a druidic tribe, a little village called Pyra.
They're a fire, Shari.
You can find their headmaster, Sarkonis.
He's a friend.
You might find your people there.
Who knows?
Maybe friends will do you good.
Shari, you say.
My dealings with them have been mixed.
Perhaps I'll keep my distance.
No, never mind.
Can I look around before we go?
Can I just find out?
No, never mind.
Can I see if there's any feathers dropped,
dropped from the giant bird creature?
There I have one, yeah.
Can I grab a few of them?
As you go and reach up,
slaps you across the knuckles.
Can I have a feather that he dropped?
Why?
Because they're big, they're fluffy.
Because they're beautiful.
Yes.
You have to admit they're beautiful.
I know.
Thank you.
You take three rock feathers.
Rock feathers.
They're huge, right?
Yeah, like they're almost a boat size.
I'm pulling in my back on my seat.
I have the rock feathers.
Okay. Rock feathers.
You guys managed to get one for you
and three for you guys.
Troy's like, now, go, now.
Okay.
My patience wears thin.
Bye.
Through with talking words.
Sorry.
I walk out from behind and just walk past.
Did you do it?
Sorry about that.
I'll bring another fifth level and then fly us all out.
Okay.
All right, you guys can fly too, but you guys coast back to the North Sardiman.
You go to the door where the Klaus family is,
and you speak with them for a while and you manage to convince them of the situation
and what seems to be a mutually positive circumstance.
They agree it's better to lose two cows than continue this.
I pay them for their two cows.
Do you? Okay.
He a nice, man.
Yeah.
How much do you get them?
Five gold.
Yeah, how much your cows usually wear?
You've never purchased a cow, so you don't know.
Yes, I have. I purchased Dork the Ox.
Ox is not a cow.
Shit.
How much do you buy Dork the ox?
How much do your cows normally cost, darling?
This is a good pest.
I've not had to look up the cost of a cow before.
One awesome diamond each.
Yeah, right.
Tenfold piece?
Because they get meat, all kinds of things.
I would put it, I put it at about maybe 40 gold each.
There's way more than I expected.
It's fine, it's fine.
Because they can use for meat,
we use for milk, you know.
40 gold each to make up for the loss of your cows.
Thank you so much.
I greatly appreciate you help them with this.
And you promise this little.
Yes, just put them out in the open field.
We'll take them.
Oh, we'll take them?
Yeah, we'll put them out there.
We'll take them.
Okay, we'll take care of it.
Yes.
You guys take two of the cows.
You bring them to the outskirts.
You know, with rope tied around their neck, you essentially, hitching, you know, hitching post them to the outside of, under this kind of open area, about 20, 30 feet from the actual holding pen.
A few hours go by and the sun slowly begins to rise.
Along with some other food, right?
Hey.
Play some other feed and things around there.
there. Eventually the sun begins to rise, across the eastern
and northeastern sky as it crests. You can see some of the farmers come out
anxiously watching from their house, and you see different families now
kind of gathering. We see the wings beating in the air, and it swoops them,
and grabs two of them, and you can see some of the families like gasp and
like rush inside, and some are just amazed to see this even happen. It takes the two,
carries up, and heads out over the Osmit Sea, past the
to the north-northwest side,
and over the next 30 or so minutes,
it just slowly disappears into the horizon
until it's no longer visible.
Wonderful.
The sun rose, right?
Can I make a beer check?
You may.
Two, zero.
That beginnings, the other side of your beer,
slowly begins, that's at a...
What happens to the existing side?
The existing side has kind of rounded itself off
to a nice beard.
It's pretty much where it's gonna be in that side.
The other side is just now starting to finally catch up.
And that's what we're in.
Yeah.
On a positive beer check.
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