Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 4 - Attack on the Duergar Warcamp

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

Now tentatively aligned with the Illithid outcast, Clarota, Vox Machina learns more of the Illithid clan living deep in the mines, and the mysterious being that currently controls them. In order to fr...ee the clan, Vox Machina must proceed further into the deep, and reach the center of Clarota’s hive. But in order for the heroes of Emon to reach the Illithid city in the belly of Khaloor, they must get past the first flayer they encountered, as well as its small army of Duergar... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Insurance isn't one-size-fits-all, and shopping for it shouldn't feel like squeezing into something that just doesn't fit. That's why drivers have enjoyed progressives' name-your-price tool for years. With the name-your-price tool, you tell them what you want to pay, and they show you options that fit your budget. Enough hunting for discounts, trying to calculate rates, and tinkering with coverages. Maybe you're picking out your very first policy. Or maybe you're just looking for something that works better for you and your family. Either way, they make it simple to see your options. No guesswork, no surprises.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Ready to see how easy and fun shopping for car insurance can be? Visit progressive.com and give the name your price tool a try. Take the stress out of shopping and find coverage that fits your life on your terms. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. All right, guys. So getting to the game at hand. So, a little overview for the story.
Starting point is 00:01:00 The party has been sent to the city of Craghammer through a friend of theirs named Archonist Alora Viceran. She's a good friend of hers and a folk hero throughout the land known as Lady Kima of Vord, who's a half-linked paladin of Bahamit has gone missing. She went on a vision quest as part of a pilgrimage she's been on for the past year and sensed a dark evil brewing far beneath the city of Craghammer,
Starting point is 00:01:23 disappeared into the city and hasn't been seen for weeks. So Archonist Allura asked the party, hired them, essentially, to go and see her whereabouts. Upon getting to Craghammer, they interacted with some of the local characters, eventually found themselves talking to Lord Nostock Grace, find who owns the mines, and runs the mines at the very bottom of Craghammer proper. After a brief encounter with a mutated abomination of a Naga creature, they were then hired by Lord Nostok to go into the mines, find out whatever is creating these abominations, destroy whatever is the source of them,
Starting point is 00:01:54 and he will pay well and also pay for each creature head that is brought to him individually. After we were getting into the mines, a few battles ensued with some of the local denizens, a couple of umber hulks that were turned into snails and other interesting circumstances. The party then found what looked to be an entirely abandoned goblin city and a series of goblinoid corpses, many of which had bored holes in their skull
Starting point is 00:02:18 in various states of decay. They found a long bridge across an open chasm. Upon traversing it, Scanlan went invisible and found what looked like a Duragar war camp, which were like ashy-skinned evil dwarves that live deep underground, watched a dwarf get executed by what appeared to be some sort of strange alienoid creature that was revealed to be an illithet or a mind-flayer, and being that is psychic and consumes brains. Oh, the mind-dler brains. Upon returning, the party had a plan to lead them off of an illusionary cliff that went pretty well,
Starting point is 00:02:51 ended up taking out a significant portion of the charging army at the time. Vax here, however, got stunned in the way across by the one mine flare. Nearly fell, however, was saved by Tiberius at the last moment. Nearly lost their magic carpet, but was retrieved. They then, after a brief...
Starting point is 00:03:08 Wait, you still have a magic carpet, right? Yeah, it got the cupboard. We got it. It's okay. Fairly. After brief discussion, Kielith and Vex, decided they didn't want to listen to anyone's bullshit, and hijacked the magic carpet, flew down into the chasm below,
Starting point is 00:03:27 and discovered behind one of the underground waterfalls some sort of a mineflayer who was cast out from the society, covered in rags, kind of a twisted physical form, and after a very tense discussion, seemed to be friended under the guise of mutually agreed retribution against those that are oppressive to this whole chasm area. Claretz. Clarota, I don't think he'll take kindly to Claretz.
Starting point is 00:03:55 However, this is where we left off the previous game. So, um. So nervous. As you guys have gathered up and you finish your luxurious song to try and ease his torn form, he finishes tapping his toe in spite of himself, looks about the rest of the group and says, Once again, not vocally, but speaking directly into your mind through a horrifying whispered voice that you cannot even close your ears to get rid of. And he points across the chasm to the war camp that is looming across the way. He begins to dart off towards the abandoned
Starting point is 00:04:39 goblinoid village. I guess we should follow that. Yes. That's wise. I think that's a great idea. We follow. Nothing can handle. As you guys make your way in toward the goblinoid village, you use. You can see Clarota, who is genuinely hovering about a foot off the ground and kind of just coasting around in a very creepy way, finds one tent, opens it up and looks inside. Here, here
Starting point is 00:05:07 we can talk. Darts inside. Hmm. We do follow, yes. As you're following... Oh, God, we're dead. Why? We just... We already touched his dice. We didn't. We're going to die. As you're following towards the center of this town, you see in the district of this town, you see in the
Starting point is 00:05:26 distance, a small light moving back from the direction where you first saw that Duregard camp, where Grogh was assaulted. I don't recall that. Look, back the way we came, there's some sort of light up ahead. Oh, that can't be good. Stay with Clorota. I'm going to go take a look. Scanman. Come on. I'm coming with. Okay. Both you guys roll stealth? Stealth.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I'll stay outside the tent if somebody wants to ask you how to get a magneto. I'll be like me. It's just a roll. I'll talk to him. Not great. Not great. Nine. $29.
Starting point is 00:06:04 All right. That's a number. So, as you officially vanish into the ether surrounding darkness, Scanlan, who still has that song stuck in his head from earlier, his slow jam is just abstractedly humming to himself without realizing and calling a little bit of attention,
Starting point is 00:06:23 at which point you, begin to hear some footsteps in the distance that come to an immediate halt. Grab scounder and put my hand over the mouth and say, quiet, man, what's wrong with you? It's a nervous habit, I'm sorry. With great power comes great responsibility. It's a gift I have to share with the world.
Starting point is 00:06:45 Later, later, later. Save it for the mind floor. All right, all right. So with him, tucked under my arm like a football, start to creep further. and try to make out, now if there's light coming to the lantern, I can see in light thanks to Daddy's blood. So I'm going to try to figure out what it is exactly that I'm seeing.
Starting point is 00:07:07 Go make perception check. Yes. I also have low light vision. You can make perception check at disadvantage because you're under his arm. Perception check? Do. Oh, no. Do I have any advantage on that?
Starting point is 00:07:19 No. 11. All right. Actually, directly looking in the direction of that Derrigar camp earlier, you can see behind a pillar that's kind of blocking your view, it's instructing your view of the actual camp proper, you can see some movement in the light. You hear some shuffling, what sounds like plate.
Starting point is 00:07:35 And you hear a voice just kind of muttering to itself. A familiar female gnomish voice. Jeez, where have you been? Oh man, I've had quite a time. I've missed you guys terribly and a little. A lot has happened, and I'm sure for you guys as well. Not so much. I quote my thing, Stanley, what the hell's going on?
Starting point is 00:08:10 Don't worry, it's a friend. We'll bring her back soon. Okay, well, there's a mind flare here. Keep him busy. He likes slowchamps. As you guys take a look at Pike, you notice she's fully armored but dirty. She's got sweat across her face.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Looks like she may have had a couple of scuffles in the way through here. And it was kind of a wildest. look to her eyes. Oh my God. But I'm genuinely relieved to see you. Pike, you've managed to come down here through the front of the mines, which the path
Starting point is 00:08:40 in for the most part, and clear. You've followed what details you can after asking around and discovering that the rest of your party had ventured below without you. You've followed the tracks best you can, and are glad that you at least chose the right path. I ran it to them before you ran into something far more dangerous. What you were inspecting was this campsite that appeared
Starting point is 00:08:56 to have been abandoned. What caught your eye was against the stone wall right above the ring of stones that formed the fire itself, there is a giant symbol carved into the stone that is a protective sigil of Bahamit, the platinum dragon, which is a religious symbol of protection used in different divine rituals. Yes, we were looking at that,
Starting point is 00:09:16 we couldn't make heads or tails. Have you ever seen that before? Go ahead and make a religion check. Are you sure? Think about it, just for a moment longer. Well, give me, actually, let me rethink on this. I think maybe a... So wait, are we all reunited?
Starting point is 00:09:35 Oh, it's a natural doorway! Oh, welcome back, Kite! You're your first rule! Are we all reunited with that? You just forgot. You just, you know what, actually not that I'm thinking about it. You clutch your holy symbol instinctually as you reach up and kind of run your fingers along the stonework, kind of tracing the carving across the stone.
Starting point is 00:09:55 As you do, eyes closed and you feel the warmth of Seren Ray's presence fill your mind for a second. And for a split moment, you can see a well-armed, very driven female halfling with hair pulled back into tight brown braids, a kind of dark green cloak thrown over one shoulder who is currently carving that symbol into the stone. You're seeing Lady Kima aboard as the one who left the symbol to protect her campsite as she had made up camp here. You don't know how long ago this transpired, but this was definitely left by her in this tunnel. What is it? It was left by a woman. Lady Kimmer, the one we're trying to find.
Starting point is 00:10:33 trying to find. Lady, yes, Lady Keeney. How did you know that? Me and Pike are like, oh Jesus. Wow, it's so great to see you. You look fantastic, by the way. I don't feel fantastic. Bring it in, bring it in. Give me a hug.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Give me a hug. You smell a little. I like it though. It's just fair a lot. Somehow it works on you. We're in a very complicated situation. A lot has happened to us. We found sort of a war camp down here and there is sort of a being, I don't know what to call.
Starting point is 00:11:11 He's got a little of this going on and he speaks and lashes out through his mind. We fought a huge force down here and then we ended up falling down into a cavern and then Keeleth and my sister found another one. What are they called? Elephids. Illithets. Yes, yes. And we found a rogue one and we may team up with him or her to go back and get revenge and maybe kick some ass in the camp. This just happened. He seems extremely dangerous. However, the forces we faced and the other illithid seem maybe worse. So that's where we're... So welcome back. Great. Come, let's rejoin our friends, shall we?
Starting point is 00:11:56 Okay, let's go kick some ass. Okay. So we trot back over to the dead goblin village. All right. You make your way back to the tent that was originally scattered out. The rest of the parties there are waiting as Clorota is awkwardly sitting in the far end, just kind of looking out as all of you slowly approached and enter the tent. Not speaking, just reactionary and keeping a watch on all of you. I turned to Claret, I'm like, ooh, that's our friend Pike. She's a good ally. Hello, Pike.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Hello, everybody. Hey, look back. Hi! Sometimes we hug as allies. Where have you been? Well, I, I had quite a time. When we were up on the tower, I noticed something and I, I felt I had to leave because I started to have a vision.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Oh, those are fun. And I feel like I should talk to us about this later, just because Because it's personal. I'm so sorry. I'm Pike. It's very nice to meet you. Okay, you get a better look as you approach this entity. You see what looks like a very tall, thin,
Starting point is 00:13:10 gaunt-looking humanoid with a hood over the head. As you approach, you get a better look at the facial features. Smooth, kind of dull, bluish, purple skin, these sunken, creepy, yellowish-green eyes. And instead of where a mouth or nose would be, you see four kind of slightly twitching tentacles. barely obscuring what looks like a round lamprey-like-toothed maw. This is Clorota we've just met.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Can I shake his hand? Do you want to reach your hand out? Yes. There is no physical response. The hand is not extended, but you hear in the middle of your mind, at full volume, a creepy whispered voice go, Are you to be one of our allies as well? She may stay.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Oh, thank you very much, Gloria. I take my hand and scratch, back my head. And I take Pike and I kind of pull it out of the tinge really quick. And I'm like, girl talk. Okay, he's like a mineflayer, and we found him in a hole under a waterfall. But he's cool, but he wants vengeance. Is that the thing is covering so he can't be? He's like outcast.
Starting point is 00:14:30 Yeah. Okay. But he's going to help us fight all of his, like, tribe. who hates us. Clarota. Do we know for sure he's helping us? Yes. Can you help us understand
Starting point is 00:14:45 your kind, your history, how you've come to be here, and who this individual is that is fucking with your shit? Perverbial statement, I like that. At which point, Clorota's eyes narrow,
Starting point is 00:15:04 and you can feel just the general mood and energy at the inside of the tent grows dark. It grows mildly tense, and suddenly you feel this presence of voice. Once again, fill your mind, as Clorota says. Seven years since I discovered my curse, my form was struck with the brand of the arcane. And these foul arts proved difficult to conceal.
Starting point is 00:15:37 My brethren could sense my impurity, my deviation, and cast me out. I was severed from the elder brain, and chased on threat of death should I return. I wandered these tunnels in squalor, feeding on what paltry filth I could ensnare, and fleeing from the ones I could not face alone. I discovered a Duragar Stronghold with a magma pooled, and it proved to be a decent source of sustenance for some time, picking off the occasional straggler. Suddenly, a great battle took place,
Starting point is 00:16:37 appeared something had siege to the stronghold, reading the surface thoughts of the deep dwarf's eyes, encountered in the following weeks, I found the shift of power. Whatever had taken this whole and now demanded fealty of them. And they accepted, when faced with annihilation, this entity that took the Durga by force, they called Kavar. And since, from within these dwarfs, was so primal,
Starting point is 00:17:27 so great that I knew to keep a distance to be safe. Not but four months ago, one of my estranged people was captured by these ash skins, and brought within the obsidian walls for what I soon was interrogation. Long after the bulk of the Dora-Gar people marched back through the long, deep tunnels that led to my people's colony and attacked racially before much bloodshed could occur which I only assumed was the next step in this onslaught the fighting stopped and the colony allowed the ash skins to waltz
Starting point is 00:18:24 directly into the temple unharmed unchallenged where our elder brain resides it wasn't until after I discovered whomever this Kavan is, they themselves infiltrated the temple and somehow took the elder brain under their own control. His my people had their will robbed of them, all the others that lived and breathed in these tunnels. Will armies forged of boat under the banner of this. Since this, I've led back to the higher tunnels and scrounged for materials so I could heal myself from the iron grip influence of the now enslaved elder brain. It took me weak, and I'm safe of its influence.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Is that the thing that you wear upon your head? As it pulls the hood back, you see once again this kind of haphazard, metallic cluster of patches of metal and iron, this dull kind of blue-metallish glow that you can only now see. once he's sitting in near pitch darkness as he reaches up and runs his finger along in. This I feel I can protect me, but I think, I think there are a way to change the tides of this circumstance. I feel, I feel that if I could somehow free my people from the influence of Kavan, release its hold on a hive mind, my people would allow me to rejoin the colony, to be one again with my family.
Starting point is 00:20:40 My brethren. I have a few questions. Is that all right? You and your brethren, without this, do you think as one? We think as individuals, but the hive mind connects us all. The hive mind gives us knowledge, history, direction. It is the soul.
Starting point is 00:21:10 source of our family. So, if one individual of your family sees something, the entire hive sees the same, is that correct? Yes. Oh, dear, that's no good. And you mentioned the arcane being a stigma upon you. At which point, it turns its gaze away and kind of slinks down into its form slightly. formed slightly. What do
Starting point is 00:21:46 your brethren put their faith in, if not the arcane? The faith in the arts of the mind. Corota, we have already allied ourselves with you, as we've already agreed. Pay me my people to be firmly again
Starting point is 00:22:18 to belong. As we said, yes. But the thing you wear on your head, it would make us all the more equipped to take on this task against such powerful mind creatures such as yourself. I know my way around
Starting point is 00:22:38 a couple of arcane things, but nothing of the mind control sorts. And if someone like me, it would be influenced, it would be very bad for our group. Even yourself, perhaps. It would do well for at least, maybe show us how you built it and... You get what I'm getting at, right? I would like to steal being. as well. Basically, where do we get one of those?
Starting point is 00:23:00 It would take weeks to build another. I would like to take a look at it, if possible, and see if it makes sense. I am a builder. Maybe we can figure out something a little bit more, you know, cherry-rigged and drinking. If we were all hidden, we would have a distinct advantage. I have a very large bronze pot in the bag of holding. Could I wear that on me nuggin?
Starting point is 00:23:26 If you like. Oh. It gives you a look in response and says, This protects me from the influence of the hive mind, my pre-existing connection. We don't need to feel it off. Could we be hidden from them? Would there be a way to clerk ourselves
Starting point is 00:23:44 from their understanding? Protect our minds. They're hidden from the others. Their sight is the mind sight. The elder brain is a collection of the once-laping. living my flares of my people. I have one more question, and we have allied ourselves to you.
Starting point is 00:24:06 That's true, but I'm curious to know, hopefully our goals intertwine, and we want the same thing, but once that is achieved, and it will be, what happens then for the Illythid? Do you return to your home below? Do your people harbor any ambition to move upward into Craghammer? He kind of looks to the side and says,
Starting point is 00:24:42 Our ambition is to pursue the continuation of our knowledge seeking. We have no interest in the surface. We only wish to spread our dominion here. and a great city of Yagvoyer. I'm sorry what is that name? Yagvoreal. Sounds like a lovely town. It's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:25:15 I feel that we could come to an arrangement. I do as well. We would require a review at the very least safe passage once we have helped you reunite with your people for ourselves and for a friend of ours who's lost in the darkness who we are here to retrieve. For this deed, of freeing presence that is cavern.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Freeing all of our people. I believe this could be arranged. Scanlan, does he speak true? Uh, let's find out. I'm gonna just see if I can detect any lies. Go ahead and make an instant. insight check. What do I just add into this? Inside. Oh, 13. Okay. I'm not an inside person. Can I? Oh, can I? Oh. What do you do? She's rolled twice.
Starting point is 00:26:24 The same, assisting? All in your twice. Slate for the assist, unfortunately, because he's already rolled. But can she? Usse him out. Best you can tell those who are looking into it. He seems to be speaking from a point of desperation and intent as he has no other option and he is genuinely you can see it in the way he talks and the way he speaks about his family he's a little crazy the isolation has put him to a point where he wants to return to his people and will do whatever it takes to get back with them however he also seems to be in a weird way that you can read appreciative that you're willing
Starting point is 00:27:10 to help and seems to be, on his part, genuine. Good. As a note, music's not playing. I don't know if there's a reason for that. Did he say that his eyes, the player's eyes, are what put people in transit, or their minds? Yeah, the eyes, the eyes. So if we wear helmets, it's not going to help me.
Starting point is 00:27:30 No, the helmet is what separates him from his hive mind. It wouldn't help us at all. I still wear the big bronze pot on my head. You put the pot on your head. It's clunky. It's clunky. Yeah. You cannot see with the thought on your name.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Can you bore two, like, ghost holes in? I don't need it, I have incredible orious. Do their powers work with reflection? Impure to your very light. But if we approach them from using a reflective surface to view them, can they peer into our minds through a reflected surface? If they know you're there, you're in sight they can read into you. Oh, so it's more.
Starting point is 00:28:12 You are obscure. Yeah, they can read our minds. They don't have to... If you are unknown to them. If you are eaten, they cannot sense you. But if they know you are there, they can be... Is there any way to be hidden for us? Be hidden from knowledge.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Hide. Clarence. Oh, sorry. Clorota. How about clay? Um... I don't think he'd like... Lerota.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Sorry, Clorota. Sorry, Clorota. Cheers. I just have one quick question. Why would you want to rejoin your colony after they've banished you? Why not leave? I'm gonna go.
Starting point is 00:29:09 They are my essence, my connection. I long to return. It is the way of my people. I understand this curse I hold. I spite myself. I look upon this disease. and spit mud, perhaps
Starting point is 00:29:28 with this deed they can overlook it. You're not diseased, you're special. Oh, God. Question, corrupt. No, nothing of my culture
Starting point is 00:29:45 you presume don't too much. I think we do understand your desires, though. And we can align ours with yours. Yep. So let us speak of specifics, Clarota.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Strategy. Strategy. Number one, that assortment of dwarves and some of your friends and ogres over there on the other side of the chasm. Is that something that we need to face headlong, or can we maybe surpass them trying to find Kavan or this temple that you speak of? They have a stronghold is far below. The magma leads the way. However, if I know what I've seen, their general resides in that camp,
Starting point is 00:30:44 I know no way within the stronghold without the front of their army. Perhaps the general can me Pride of information. Bring him to, you won't be accompanying us on any adventure? Or? We have to fetch him. And the general is in that, that, that... Where you were earlier.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Yes, yes. All right. So we have to go over. Okay. Wait, did you say something about a temple, or did I completely misunderstand? There is a temple in our city. Yes. And there where my people reside, that is where the other brain sits.
Starting point is 00:31:29 All right that way, hey. Right now we have to get there eventually, but first step is this smaller force across the chasm. Yes, we've got to put the beat down. Well said, come. You said there was a big army front guarding this general of DuraGard? Well, the general's right across the, right, across the quads. Oh, he's just right across the way? The force is in there.
Starting point is 00:31:52 The bulk of their army currently is divided between that and the stronghold below. Percy shocked this one, I think. Yes, I did. I think it's important to point out that this, your kin, this general, is aware of at least three of us of my dragon-born friend and a singer over here and myself.
Starting point is 00:32:14 I don't think he knows him about me. No, he's not going to have. Just us, then. Yes, I don't know if he saw me. They saw my funny card. It's true. It could be just me, then. Oh, I cast press a dissertation on Pike and clean her up real quick.
Starting point is 00:32:31 You look lovely. How do you think your kin will react to that? I like that. What will their response be if they know that outsiders have come? If they've seen just me at this moment plus a few illusions... I will be prepared. So you must find another way in. You must think to not be seen.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Think. Don't worry, Crock. You hear... You've never, ever in your life, ever heard someone else chuckle inside your brain. But you hear within the center of yours,
Starting point is 00:33:15 think, yes. Echoes in the pot. And I start laughing to myself. And can I assume that you would have already given us any advice by now if you knew a way? Are we stuck with our own resources. But you watched from my distance.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Pleading too close was too dangerous. I, on the red surface thoughts, if I would sing, it would be nothing, I would be destroyed. So, no back doors, no secret entrances that you know of, into the camp anywhere near this general. Fuck. It's water and magma. Yeah, can we pick up the little luckness monster and throw it out of it or something?
Starting point is 00:34:06 Oh yes, down below. in the waters, our allies, Vex, and somebody, saw some creatures under the water snatching bodies as they fell, Keelanlet. Yes. I forgot who went. Her Majesty Keelis. Pikes beauty distracted me. You shouldn't have cleaned her up so nice. I'm sorry. It's true.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Wait. Wait. Anyway, there was some creatures down below in the waters. Are there anything that we could use, or should we just avoid them? You see it actually hisses for a second. As soon as you mentioned, it goes, No, avoid that creature is older than all of us. You reside there in ancient minds.
Starting point is 00:34:50 What that should be? It's eyes and arrow once again. Not quite understanding the words you use. Seemingly amused. It's a gnom. As a brief aside, too, check the connection on my iPad. I'm playing music fine, and the connection's in the iPad. I don't quite know where it's losing its connection.
Starting point is 00:35:15 But I think we need some music. Yes. All right, so let's review our options, shall we? We can't charge in there. There's a chasm. How did that go with the little brain thing? Not too well. The casuals... I love the master switch for a while. The entire colony of mine flares.
Starting point is 00:35:37 We could fly in, right? The bridge is gone. So we can fly in death from above. We can somehow... I don't know if I can. Well, we can figure out a way. Enough of us can turn into flying things to get to get to. So we have a flying carpet. We could repair the bridge if we had to, at least put a rope across.
Starting point is 00:35:55 I think, I think... Or we can disguise ourselves somehow? I think I know where we need to go. What? Really? Really? Get out of the city! Please, do tell.
Starting point is 00:36:13 So, hold on, text a porters here. There we go. There's music. Oh. Pike, don't toy with our emotions. So you guys haven't gone to the war camp? We have. We have.
Starting point is 00:36:42 We've been there and we quickly retreated. Scanlon took a poke about. He poofed himself out of sight and then had a look around. And then we returned to the edge of it. And I kind of flipped the bird at them and taunted them a little. But most of us haven't been in. Have you been to the lake? The water.
Starting point is 00:37:01 No. No, there's no. What? There's a lake? Well, isn't that where that thing is? Yeah, the bottom of the crevasse. No, under the bridge. Is that a lake?
Starting point is 00:37:10 No, that was rushing water. That's not big. Underground. The area, after the big drop that was on the bottom, there was a lake of water. Oh, okay. And there was a waterfall coming out of the natural. And the ogres were getting sucked under by something.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Yeah, so we didn't go down there. Is there something under the lake? It's creepy. Well, I just can. We could go away from him for a second. He would probably hear the folks inside your mind, I think. Clotus totally fine. He's not. He's amazing.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Prame muffs. He's amazing. Prame muffs. I would be questioning him so much. Well, shall I share a vision I have? I think so. I think at this point you should just move forward. In this vision that I had, I was pulled down toward the mines,
Starting point is 00:38:04 into the tunnels below where the towards were working. Through the lake? Well, past the gauphs. Babylonoid creatures and past a great underground lake, past a jagged onyx-colored fortress framed in molten rock, past a field of broken glass and bone. Have you seen any of this? No, I'm thinking onyx.
Starting point is 00:38:34 Those last things sound terrible. You know, the lake is the, yes, that all sounds shitty. The last thing we've seen is the lake, and we didn't go too close to it, because a couple of ogres fell in from above, and they disappeared like something grap in. Yeah, but we didn't have him fly down there and get like a close look. No, we haven't, we haven't had a look around. I can cast water breathing on all of us. Why would we send one like Mars rover over here and have them go check it out?
Starting point is 00:39:00 I mean, I can always turn into like a whale. That's, well, I don't, perhaps, but the water breathing sounds good to me. I feel like a head on. Isn't there something in the water? Run into the camp is a bad idea. I pull out my empty bottle, my empty bottle and I go, and I have this. Yes, he's got a bottle. Plus, we've killed a fucking Dragon. I know it's not an easy task to accomplish, but we're pretty badass, I think. We might have a good chance. So wait, is going through the lake going to get us through to the general? Do we need to do that first?
Starting point is 00:39:33 We haven't been down to the water surface maybe there's like another... What's the best case scenario? What? We come up behind them? It's still going to be a fight. But maybe there's a different vantage point instead of like... We can fly over them. That seems like a pretty good attack point. Some of us can fly over them. Well, we can all figure out to what we can't. where all of us can fly over them.
Starting point is 00:39:49 I'm more concerned about us cloaking ourselves. Even if we're flying, they're still gonna see us. There's an ancient death thing down there. You might die. I didn't say it was faultproof. I don't know, man. I mean, our options are. We're entering you.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Our options are, and we can vote on it, although we all know Keeleth is just gonna go fucking do whatever she wants, but our options are. That was one time. Just the one time. Never to be forgotten. Our options are a headlong advance into the middle of their camp.
Starting point is 00:40:17 That's a big fucking force. Or some sort of disguise, distraction. Tiberi. Is the stream down, by the way? It goes down every two hours and 17 minutes. It's been doing that for, it comes right back up. All right, so let us know when it's back up. Two hours and 17 minutes, that sounds like lost.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Tabiri. Yeah. Do we. Amity drill on Twitch. You go fly like all the way down to the water surface, like Michael J. Foxx and Back to the Future, too, and check out if there's any other tunnels that we haven't seen are ways to go.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Isn't the same one that you've been in? Or is this, what, is that what we're talking? I think so. We didn't go down to the water's surface, though, did we? Well, we went over top of it, and kind of looked down. Oh, we did. We went all the way down there.
Starting point is 00:40:57 When I was, like, bending the water back, we were kind of in that area, right? That was that area, but the lake's about them. There's a lot. There's also the whole, I think we're looking at something as well, is it? What if, I mean, You guys want to, like, put me down on a rope,
Starting point is 00:41:12 and I can just, like, run around, and just see if there's any openings? I mean, I have a lot of love. I have a lot of armor. Go fishing with you. I have a lot of... Go fishing. Well, no, just like halfway and then I can run around
Starting point is 00:41:23 with some of us can fly, so we're on. I mean, I can attempt to try and drain the lake a little bit. And Keila said that she can cast water breathing. We can help us breathe underneath the sidewalks. We have two underwater breathing spells. Control water is a level of five spout. I realize that. You were having trouble, if I recall,
Starting point is 00:41:40 just getting the waterfall out of the way to create. I mean, it was amazing, but... They managed to get it, like, stuck those... I know. say today, but we're talking about... A lake. Yeah, Lake Superior. It is not just a lake. There is a death
Starting point is 00:41:53 monster in there. Right. If we go under the water, we're dead. Do you stand on it anything if we want to fight it, or are we going to be fighting it in the water? We all have water water breathing. Yeah, but we'll be slow. And we'll be underwater where there's a death monster. Yeah, I'm not worried about that part of it. But there's
Starting point is 00:42:09 50 to 100 fucking creeps up top. Well, then let's come up with a good plan. Maybe there's like hidden stairs or something like an Indiana John? Can you like fly the water and like fry the guy in the water with those? Hold on. There's only 26 people up there. Yeah, I mean, I've got... Is that before the ones we killed or on? Those are the ones we saw, though.
Starting point is 00:42:29 That's not the ones of... How do we know how far back the camp goes? How many are in the gate behind it? No, no. No, no. You have that's the number. Oh, yeah. I mean, I can make like a giant whirlpool. Wait a second, wait a second. Cast a white squall or whatever. Clarota, you've been listening to our thoughts for the last. 10 minutes. And what clear thoughts they have been.
Starting point is 00:42:51 What do you think? What do you think? What resides in that lake? Something you wish not to temple with. It ain't your mind. Holy fucking. It clouds the water with its own filth. You find yourself unable to breathe air. It's mind it takes. Have you seen it?
Starting point is 00:43:21 It's big. Yeah, right. It's like a gunned space you're flushed out of the woods. Is it like a mini-armed situation? One could say yes. Okay. Well,
Starting point is 00:43:38 So we can face Cthulhu or Cuth. Little Cthulhu minions seems to be our choice. Well, can't. Clorota. Why don't I have lightning, I swear. Can you fry the water first and see if it? We can fly overhead and just lightening the shit out of them. Do that, please.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Because maybe there's a way that we... There's a tunnel that we come up behind them or whatever it was. That illithid took out my brain from like 100 feet. You know what? No, no, no, it's it. Wait, wait, if I may. When I was there, I saw the main, the general, control all of them instantly
Starting point is 00:44:14 when he was about to make a sacrifice or feed or whatever he was doing. Yep. No offense. He instantly had all of their command. If we could somehow get to him and cut off that connection, distract him, influence him somehow to command them to all jump in the lake, for instance. That would get rid of the lot of them all at once.
Starting point is 00:44:39 Can you make me invisible? I can get you there. I can make you unseeable, but not invisible. What? What's the difference? make you a fly. May I examine, without removing, may I examine your device? What about like a little? Oh shit. Make a persuasion roll. Oh man, Purdy. What's he saying? What's he saying? What's he doing? He's asking to... 16. Touching the head. He glares at you and says,
Starting point is 00:45:08 Our agreement does not include this interaction. It may be the key to returning you to your people. Tyberius? Yes? Would you go for? I will just look. I'm reading my book. Will you be?
Starting point is 00:45:28 No, I want you to read a book. I kind of bowed its head, but it's not move closer. It just lightly shows you an element of it. Can I understand how it functions? Best you can tell, it looks like a skull cap that's been kind of decently made for what it is, but it's a little, you see some of the hammer marks on it, or some whatever it's, you see some whatever it. was put together. It appears to be a very simple piece of metallic material. So it's magic.
Starting point is 00:46:02 It looks like it is some sort of a chant to probably be what's causing the effect. It's not any mechanical device that causes it. Dumb. So there'd be no way to build something to create a feedback loop. Oh, I see what you're getting that. I want to try and see if there's any way that I can take a look at this and figure out a way to build
Starting point is 00:46:25 some sort of feedback system. We need to build a coconut radio. We don't even have a laboratory. That's what you want. He wants a coconut radio. I love coconuts. You have never interacted with anything psionic-based before.
Starting point is 00:46:38 The time to research that and the materials need to do it would take months. Plan two. It's a fairly shitty situation. Plan two? Is this if they can't see. What if we blind them? How?
Starting point is 00:46:54 How? Like with some sort of interference? With a really bright light. Oh, I love doing light things. Like, what if they are so blind they can't actually see us coming? I believe Pike and I both have access to spells like that.
Starting point is 00:47:07 I assume that would make us pretty blind as well. Not if... Not if we wear our sunglasses? Can I attempt to build sunglasses? How would we wait? Before we build sunglasses... I have office. You could probably make a couple
Starting point is 00:47:24 with the materials you have on hand, you are limited, and when it comes to resources, as you are currently halfway underground. Even better. Max could show his ass. That's a pretty white-eyed. That's pretty much as far as it gets. That is pale-ish shit. When I go to the beach, I don't tan. I spray. But wait, I thought we established that they don't need visual contacts to influence us. They just need to be able to be aware. Once they have visual contact, they can influence us, but they need to make that visual contact in the first place. The dark deep dwarves.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I think it'll stung them long enough for us to get across. If we could perhaps put some light spells on the back and the front of our shields so that we are guarded from it. And if you could make a pair for our friend here, that would help him outside. Wait, that's not a bad idea. Pike, can we temporarily enchant the magic carpet
Starting point is 00:48:18 as like a spotlight as we fly over? It's like a light death rate. We've seen you surround in radiant light before. Do you think you could do that for the carpet? If I, I mean, I have... We should have daylight. Is it radiant light? Where's my, where's my book?
Starting point is 00:48:36 Where's my... Hold on a minute. Here's hand, go. And Clarota, while they're figuring that out, if we remain to be hidden or blind our opponents as we approach your kin, will not know our thoughts till they see us? They, yes.
Starting point is 00:48:55 They need to look into you. into you by knowing your... Can I fight one of your kin with a blindfold on? Perhaps. I thought if they could see you... Clorote. The mind eye that you possess. How close can one be before it actually affects?
Starting point is 00:49:23 And say, a hundred feet had caught my friend in midair, I'll ask to run in. Is it the range about? Perhaps about the distance, yes. Thank you. You may not know the answer to this. I don't doubt your knowledge and wisdom, but I happen to have a ring of mind shielding.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Will that aid me in any way? Bam, motherfucker. Maybe. Yeah, yeah, with his resistance to a cyanic influence would be evade, yeah. Okay. Hey, time. Daylight.
Starting point is 00:50:01 What? What? Two-thirty. Two-thirty. It wouldn't be hard to get hold of some pitch down here, some tar. To burn? No. If you can be invisible and you have a ring of mine shielding and you can carry a bucket of pitch to that motherfucker,
Starting point is 00:50:18 you can splash it on its face, cover its eyes and it's helpless. Or I could hang that big brass pot on its head. Well, I'm wearing that. Yes. But it could take it off. Possibly if you smear sticky shit on that. shit. Wait, I just have to blind it? Then it can't control... Well, I happen to have a blindness spell.
Starting point is 00:50:40 It may still try, but to be blind. It would be very difficult for it to pride your mind. Could it still control the others, though? Probably. That is a permanent enslavement. So you want me to go in there solo, invisible, and try to blind this thing? No. I'm in. I'm in. I like your idea of turning me into a fly.
Starting point is 00:51:10 You and I go in, and we've got light spells. I want to take a look at his eyes. On our magic targets. What his flesh is. And it's on my shield, and then on the carpet. And on the carpet? I have to take a nap, though. That could be done.
Starting point is 00:51:29 13. What's that? 13, okay. But that could get us in close. Scanley and I could get in. closely and blinded and I can stab it in the screen. I mean, technically I can also turn into something fly-y-fly-e in on the back you guys up if someone else wants to take the carpet.
Starting point is 00:51:46 We can all get there. We can all get there. I can cast daylight on your helmet, on your pot helmet. Really? Yeah. You'll be. All right. That's a very easy, there'll be a distraction for the two people. They'll be busy dealing with us.
Starting point is 00:52:06 He'll be the cover of Trump and lose the thing. That's a good idea. What is it? Two fronts. Yes, two fronts. What is it? You and I start right from the group. They go in shining like a beacon.
Starting point is 00:52:18 You and I... S-Z- In. And while the illithid is focused on them, we go in, you blind him, and I stab him in his mall. That means... Pretty good. That's a suicide mission. Let's do it.
Starting point is 00:52:34 Well, what else are we going on? I'm playing. I'm behind the time. Surgical, special arts. Seal Team Six. What does Vax have to say about this? Vex, you mean? Vex, my sister, Vex.
Starting point is 00:52:45 Yes, that one. That's a good question. Oh, Vex, you look so tired. Vex, your sister seems genuinely perturbed by the circumstance, but looks to you and says, look, I found him. You deal with the situation. Just tell me what to do.
Starting point is 00:53:00 She's so like that. Right. Right. Let's do that. Let's do it. I gave up trying to understand her years ago. Do you know what time it is? Feeling a bit nappy, I think.
Starting point is 00:53:14 Your hair looks fine. You feel me rest. You can rest, then rest. Okay. Time of day has no bearing down here. I have to rest so I can, and I'm going to read up on this daylight spell. Yeah. So that me and you can both cast or it.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Yeah. Just take a nap and just get, you know, get all my friends'ar muscles and get ready for the fight. On this chopping head spell. Yep, I'm ready. Before I'm gonna sing a little song to inspire a couple of my allies here if I can. Okay, I would recommend doing after rest. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:53 The dice would go away while they rest. Okay, forget it. I go ahead and I light an incense in our teepee and I make some flowers grow. I'm like, that's better. I'm going to do a little bit of work on that first trick arrow. On the trap arrow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:54:10 Since I've got a little time. Go ahead, make a roll. That's, what am I rolling? Your engineering or your tinkers kit. That's just an intelligence roll, right? I close your tinkers kit. It's down underneath your skill. The proficiency is the very bottom left?
Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah, I don't have a number for that. You can add your proficiency modifier to intelligence checks. your intelligence modifier, plus four. Oh, thank you. 17. All right, and so what are you trying to accomplish with this arrow again? I was just trying to make an entanglement arrow. It's a trapper's arrow.
Starting point is 00:54:47 Okay. You managed to work out what seems like a tanglefoot bag type detonation where if an arrow were fired, it would be a grapple check against the individual and probably give them penalties until they're able to break free of the grapple of the arrow. So yeah, success on that one. I'm gonna be Hawkeye and Laura out at some point.
Starting point is 00:55:03 I've got a couple of them. Yeah. Before I retire, Clorote, you said you wanted to speak with me later. Anything in particular? Do you wish to save it for after the battle? Perhaps after. It's about the source of your arcane power. Oh, I'd be happy to discuss it. I could learn. I'd feel a great deal from you as well. Anyway, later, of course. I go in my books.
Starting point is 00:55:32 So Clorote closes his eyes and kind of goes into a meditative stance. The rest of you, those who have spells to choose, go ahead and choose your spells accordingly. for the next day. I'm sharpening my axe. Good, good. It is good. Just doing my vocal warm-ups. All right.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Quiet, quietly. Motobene, motobene, motobene, motobene, motto-banee, motto-banee, motto-van. The human torch was denied a bank load. So, as you all had your evening's rest, Not very comfortable. Number one, you're in the middle of a tent of a goblinoid city. Second, just the general proximity of sleeping near an illithid.
Starting point is 00:56:16 You just have a general sense of unsettling dreams, imagery that is disturbing. Pike, you have many flashbacks to the vision you had and actually wake partway through the night in a cold sweat. As you wake up, you all kind of slowly come to, it's about four hours into the evening's rest. You feel a slight tremor. a familiar tremor that you felt once before in this cavern.
Starting point is 00:56:39 You'd feel the ground began to vibrate and shake. Get up and look around. Is Clay awake? Is Clay awake? Eyes are open just sitting there. Clarota, do you know what that rumbling is? There are many creatures that live in this rock. Your best to be still.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Still. Still. Still. Everyone make a stealth check. Oh. We get advantage on that, right? No. 16. 14.
Starting point is 00:57:24 19. 18. 20. One? Two natural ones? Yep. After her two natural 20s. Nothing to add. Nothing to add.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Well, I'm new to armor. Wait, you both wrote natural ones. Those both count as two failures. Fuck. Thankfully, the rest of your group all rolled pretty high, So it was four versus five. You guys just barely succeed. As you all hold still, barely breathe,
Starting point is 00:57:54 the rumbling intensifies, and goes on for a good minute, minute and a half before eventually it subside. Aw. Thought we're gonna get a warm up. Fades into the distance. Rumbling is complete. Appears to be no issue. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:08 Klauoka says, many these creatures, they make up on movement in that sound. What creatures are you speaking of now? This is something... The rumbling. The creatures. But what are there?
Starting point is 00:58:23 Probably butholtz. There are only got glimpses. This is something that has than Umbaholks. Larger, yeah. All right, we've all rested up. Put holes in the underdog. I had a crazy dream that said if
Starting point is 00:58:40 Geek and Sundry got to 1,400 followers, they would be some sort of a giveaway. Yes, there are some... I had the same. Same dream, Scatter. Wow. All visions of that. Yeah, guys, so so you're aware every 50 subscribers we get, we're giving away an awesome
Starting point is 00:58:54 Sunshundry game package. So. Oh, there you go. Congratulations. We already got a winner. We'll be putting those out for every 50 subscribers we get tonight. I'll be choosing one to win that awesome award. So, keep that in mind.
Starting point is 00:59:08 Oh, I get you. Oh, good. Oh, yeah. I'll be glad you. So the plan is, again, you and I, stealth, the rest, a with light? What's first? What's second? What happens? Well, I need to take a moment to find some... I'm going to look around and see if I can find any pitch anywhere in the goblin camp. Okay. Do I make a survival check?
Starting point is 00:59:29 If my... Actually, it's an investigation. Make an investigation. Oh, I got the exact same number. It's 12. Okay. It takes about an hour. You managed to find essentially a few piles of rather disgusting, sticky goblinoid refuse. that you imagine would probably stick and burn pretty well. Gondon poop? Yeah. You find just that whole bunch of goblin shit.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Let's cook it up a little. How do you feel about leasing it with some gunpowder? I'll make some fire for you. I feel pretty good. All right. Goblin Molotov cocktails? Yes. I like that. Goblin poop cocktail.
Starting point is 01:00:07 So here's how I think this goes. Yeah. I think the team infuses the carpet and any shields or headpots that. have with radiant light. They're going to make a big stink on the side of the camp. You and I go in. You're invisible. I'm a... Fly, flee... ...mastquito, dragonfly, whatever you're blind. Yes, let's say fly.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Okay. We go in, find the illithid. And then we pop in. You yell, hey spanky, throw the goblin shit in its face. Or I try to blind it with magic. Yes. Both. Both. Both. Both. Both. Okay. We want to... We're pleased our odds. Sure. As soon as he's blind, I go in for the kill. And then it's on us to deal with what happens after that. It's playtime. It's playtime. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Might I suggest one other wrinkle? Yes, do. Remember, there are some dwarves being held captive. Yes. You could make our way to them and release them. We don't need all of them now. Just to cause further distraction or to get some allies on the inside? It's possible. They could be weary, frightened. Mind control. Seems unreliable, yes, mind control.
Starting point is 01:01:26 They're probably ready to fight. Like me. Brog, we understand. You want to bash some things. Your time to kill is coming. Right. All right. Is there anyone else of our party who could help us with stealth or anything while we're over there? Definitely not me. Okay. As a note, just remember, because you don't want to walk through, there is essentially a shape. Greetings adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles, and that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. I'll take it.
Starting point is 01:01:58 And that means I've been outside a lot more. Walking around, occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes, traveling a bit. You know the vibe. And after doing some spring cleaning, my wardrobe, I gotta say, looking a little bit sad. I want clothes that can keep up with me and my son, but updating my wardrobe every spring sounds pretty. expensive. So that's why I wound up signing up for Fabletics as a VIP. It let me overhaul my springtime outfits without obliterating my bank account. New VIPs unlock major savings on that first purchase, so trying new fits feels way more doable. When I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80% off everything. It made it easy to grab a few new pieces without overthinking it. And the quality really surprised me. Everything feels premium and soft and breathable, but you're not paying those
Starting point is 01:02:47 premium prices. What I like most though is how versatile everything is. You've got stuff you can work out in but also wear out. There's matching sets, lightweight hoodies, joggers, teas, you name it. The kind of stuff you can throw on in the morning and not worry about later. When I'm at home, my favorite thing to pull on is the oversized hoodie. It's so comfy I could just live in it 24 it's perfect for walking my dog on like a chilly night. But what I'm out and about, I've really been loving the ribbed Johnny Collar polo. It makes me look like I should be taking a high-powered meeting by the pool at the White Lotus, but hopefully with less murder involved? I don't know. It's insanely comfortable. I highly recommend it. So shop now at fabletics.com slash critical role to get
Starting point is 01:03:27 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a quick style quiz and be sure to select critical role when prompted to unlock your 70 to 80% off. This is a limited time offer, so don't wait. Again, that's fabletics.com slash critical role for 70 to 80% off everything as a new VIP. And now, onto the show. Greetings, adventurers. Lately, I've been getting a bit more intentional about what I wear from day to day, because instead of just falling out of whatever laundry baskets nearby, I've been leaning into pieces that feel easy and comfortable, but still put together, because it just makes getting dressed simpler when I have a plan.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Quince has been my go-to to help with that, because the fabrics feel elevated, the fits are clean, and everything just works without me needing to overthink it. And Quintz has all the wardrobe staples you need for spring. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from just $34. They're lightweight, they're breathable, they're comfortable, your legs and torso will thank you and you will still look put together. And clean 100% Pima Cotton Tees with a softness, well you gotta feel that to believe it, believe you me. Their pants also hit that same balance. They're relaxed, they're comfortable, but still polished enough to wear basically anywhere and everything's priced between 50 and 80% less than what you'd find it's similar
Starting point is 01:04:47 Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen so you're getting premium materials without the markup. And since spring is here in Los Angeles, a brief period where it's 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees, I spruced up my wardrobe with a pair of the comfort stretch traveler five pocket pants and the heritage washed denim shirt. Not only do they feel great, but I unequivocally look good as hell while wearing them. That's just science. So refresh your every day with luxury and. actually use. Head to quince.com slash critical role for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash critical roll for free shipping
Starting point is 01:05:32 and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash critical role. ...a county town, a tent city of war tents with a few rock formations. You also notice that, or you remember last time there was the main square that had the raised platform. Platform, yeah. And then there was the small stone barracks where it seemed both the mine flayer and the Duregar general both went back in. So we gotta go into the barracks. Well, that's where you saw at least they were last time we were in.
Starting point is 01:06:00 That's our stopping point, I imagine. Well, there's two targets. So we gotta get in and then get in. The main thing is to get the Ilet because if he's out, nobody's, then they're all separate. He's, he's playing chess with. all his minions until we take him out. Right, so we all strike right on him.
Starting point is 01:06:20 You two are going to take that little journey. The rest of us, what should we do? I have many options, and they're all fun. So, Percy, your sniper rifle, I should think that you want to post up and start taking out position. I'll do that at first, but then eventually I'm going to just have to jump into the frame.
Starting point is 01:06:41 No, yes, of course, on-sports to the rest of the camp that we're going about to do, right? Make a bunch of noise, punch a bunch of light. How are you going to get Grog over there? I mean... I'm going to put a giant sunlight beacon on his head, and I'm going to release him to the wilds. Yes, but there's no bridge. We talked about featherfold. Oh, how are we going to get him over there? Yes. How do we get it over there? But Tiberius talked about making him light as a feather.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Oh, you could fly me. Oh, yes, you can fly him, right? Actually, you could fly him. Why don't we turn my pot into a light? and then you can be over and I'll do like a vulnerable snowman walk. I like that. Flarota, is there anything you can do to help us in this endeavor? I can help us try and how this mind with mine.
Starting point is 01:07:31 But you have to swear to protect me from harm. You have our word. That we will try. and I will come swiftly if we can take out the mine player through the sides. So, okay. Let's set down right in the middle of the thing.
Starting point is 01:08:04 Well, I was going to say, can we set down to where we're kind of backing you guys up, holding the fort down while you guys go? Well, we all have to, there's no bridge. Right. We all have to get there. I'm not worried about that. Get over to get to the edge. Yes, but where are we going to make land? In the middle of the shit next to? to the barracks?
Starting point is 01:08:21 I say we might as well go closest to the barracks as we can get. Okay. And then you and I can get in the barracks. That's a good idea if we go as high as we can and just hug the ceiling of this, motherfucker. And then go down in the middle. And as we're going down, you turn me into a flying go invisible. And that's when all hell breaks loose.
Starting point is 01:08:40 I like that. Let's do it. No time at the present. Let's fucking do it. I'm going to start buffing people like crazy. I start, I can't stagoo. I'm going to be buffing us like manpower. Fire Slate.
Starting point is 01:08:53 Oh! Oh! Question to the Dungeon Master. Yes. I think my polymorph spell is a concentration spell. It is, yes. I'm going solo. Do it.
Starting point is 01:09:08 I can get you in. I can make you fly, but I can't be invisible at the same time. I will, I will sneak through. Alright. If shit goes south, I will peel off and join the others. Can we help him be silent? Well, I can cast pass without a trace on myself, and as long as we hug close to me, there's an area around me that's like a dark shadow.
Starting point is 01:09:28 And we get like, we get all stuffy. We're going in. We're just going to have to improvise that. We'll do it live. We'll do it line. Wait, wait, wait, wait, don't go in yet. As a note, you said you were casting stone skin. That's skin is concentration. The moment you cast another concentration, the spell goes away. Alright, so I don't cast it here.
Starting point is 01:09:48 Get that in mind. Okay. God damn constant chase the spouse. Um. I would like to catch. I cast, um, bloodlust on myself. Bloodlust. I go ahead and I cast
Starting point is 01:10:06 enhanceability on effects. Facts. Facts. Sorry, everybody does it. Our mother did it. I do it sometimes. To increase your dexterity? To increase your dexterity?
Starting point is 01:10:17 What about stealth? Essentially, you have advantage on a dexterity based checks. Which is your stealth, right? Yes. Okay. Yes. And then I'm gonna go ahead, let me keep track about this, and then I'm gonna go ahead and cast daylight on Grog's helmet.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Are we ready for this? Are we going? Yeah, let's do this. And I'm gonna go ahead and cast daylight on. Wait. What? Wait, we're trying to sneak over them before we land. Don't cast daylight on anything yet.
Starting point is 01:10:50 Okay, okay, okay, I'll wait then. A giant flare coasting over the city. Okay. Well, then I'm going to go ahead and cast pass without a trace on myself. Okay. All right, so that's preparation there. Oh, I'm going to sing a little ditty to inspire Vax. I didn't see the Vax because he's so goddamn stealthy.
Starting point is 01:11:12 La da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Okay. Was that a high soft? Yes. That wondrous rendition allows you a D8 inspiration dice. inspiration dice. Hold on to that. Thank you. Is everybody finished?
Starting point is 01:11:29 Vox Machina, let's do this shit. I turn into an eagle and I'll take the gnomes. All right, right. Scanlon. Pike is heavy with the plate mail, but still enough to carry with your giant eagle form. Tiberius, first and I on the carpet and Tiberius, are you casting, are you going to help God fly across?
Starting point is 01:11:51 Oh, yeah. They're flying. Fly, all right. At which point you feel this strange lifting sensation for a second, your stomach kind of has butterflies, and you realize that you can just think forward and you drift forward. Think back, you drift back. Think up. You drift up. Amazing. Don't puke in the helmet, don't up. Be gross. Am I light enough for him to take a moon? He can fly in his own. He can just will himself. I'm talking about for him to carry me. Open to carrier? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Let's do this. I hop on your back. Let's go, grog. And I guess the rest of them are on the rug. So I can't see, so you're gonna tell me. I start flying the wrong way. Back up, the other way, well, way around, very good.
Starting point is 01:12:40 You actually clutch grog by the sides of his face and start steering here. Like a vehicle. Whenever I move your hand, you just tilt them that way. And so are we all in flight now? They're all taken care of, yes. And the carpet? Right, the road.
Starting point is 01:12:55 Typeri's person I on the carpet. What about Vex? Is she with us? She's on the carpet. Is she staying behind? Vex, for the time being, because it's just easier to organize for this, is coming out of the carpet with you guys,
Starting point is 01:13:11 and is trying, is preparing in case she is needed. Okay. She's just quiet because she's feeling smug about, yeah. Yeah. We're quiet, just feeling smug about being in another RPG right now. All right, so, she'll be back. I want to see how you fly, Grog.
Starting point is 01:13:27 It's really a ricketing. It's one arm and one forward. You just think, you just think. Bogging and drifting. Do you propel yourself with a lot? It's an awkward zigzag. Do you think happy thoughts? All right.
Starting point is 01:13:45 I'm going to kind of fly in the middle between Grog and the carpet that away might pass without a trace. encompasses everybody. Okay. All right. I turn to Scanlon and say Scanlon, we are probably going to die today.
Starting point is 01:14:02 It has been an honor. It has been an honor. If only one of us will die. By the way, Vachshundit. And it won't be me. Well, we get up there. I can't be in miserable. So long you're not listening. It'll just happen. What were you saying, Tabiris? Nothing.
Starting point is 01:14:17 No, no, don't play it that way. What are you saying? Don't play it that way. I'm just saying if you're all finished. I'll just make you invisible right before that happens. You guys are all coasting over the chasm. Now you're over the top of the large bridge and the 200 foot wide open hole in this tunnel
Starting point is 01:14:37 that leads to the lake below. As you glance down, you can see just a little bit of a trickle from the soft red light that's deeper inside. You can see the small streams of lava. They're just slowly pulling at the bottom on the outskirts of the lake proper. As you begin to make it down, to make it to the other side, you can see tiny shapes moving in this very barely lit war camp
Starting point is 01:14:58 of D'a Rigar. As you're coasting over and Klerota is, along with you guys, with this hood up, he kind of whispers into all your heads, says, And you were some of these army scary abominations created my city. Expect from this As this happens, everyone make a stealth check. Everyone, because of the past, out of trace, everyone gets a plus 10 to their stealth check. Plus 10? Plus 10.
Starting point is 01:15:36 Thanks to Keyleth. Thank God. Gileth, however, you are carrying two gnomes. You have it for disadvantage on it. Oh, no. That's all right. Plus seven. Thank God.
Starting point is 01:15:46 Even with a plus 10? Okay, so. 18? 18. 15. 22. 22. 27.
Starting point is 01:16:01 Wow. 23? 28. All right, you guys begin to crest over the very top of the war camp. And looking down, you can see now, there are what looks to be the beginnings of tunneling siege engines being constructed. Seed. Siege? Siege.
Starting point is 01:16:21 You can see giant wheeled carts with drills at the front, giant like auger boars that are being currently constructed. You can see what looks like a series of weapons being stacked up and ready. You can see there is a preparation for some sort of an attack on the city above. As you guys continue to press ahead, there does not seem to be any reaction to your flying. Ooh. Don't say anything. It's close to the ceiling of this.
Starting point is 01:16:47 Good thing we can cast the light. We can all talk to each other. Don't you. Whisper to just this. Why don't you shut up? Just wait till we get there. Good blast. Do you guys make it towards the center portion of the city?
Starting point is 01:17:06 I know. You can just start beginning to see the opening in the center of this war camp. There is a circle where there are no tents constructed. You can see what looks to be a small wooden platform, and there is a stone building that is of, you know, makeshift functional construction. Not pretty, but functional looks like a barracks or some sort of a large bunker, right on the northern side of that opening, that center portion of the war camp. That would be what you saw, both the general
Starting point is 01:17:37 and the mind flare ahead of this encampment go into last time you would have been in the barracks. Yes. With a roof? There is a roof to it. You don't know if there's any roof access, but there is a roof. Tiberius, can you turn me invisible now? Wait. Well, we're still in the air, right?
Starting point is 01:17:54 Yes, yes. Okay. Don't, he's got to concentrate on that. Don't. He's sitting on the carpet. Yeah, but he's playing. He's thinking about flying. When I cast invisibility on you, that's when everything happens.
Starting point is 01:18:06 I'm just thinking. Is that happening? No. Just falls from the air in the middle of the war camp? Are we floating above this thing now? Should we sit? Floating about 100 to 150 feet above the war camp, you do not appear to have been noticed yet.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Get down there and wing it. Should we land on the roof, or do we land right outside the barracks door? What do we do it? The roof. The roof. You guys want to stay up and we'll go down? You go.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Yes. Yeah? Yes. We can start on the roof. That only like, there's time. But I can't go invisible while you're flying. Who needs you to be invisible? You're a stealthy bastard.
Starting point is 01:18:39 If we land on the roof, we get on there, I cast invisibility, and then you go do your thing. We're running the risk of as we come down, we draw a guy going, so we would risk that anyway. That's true. Either way. I'm so scared right now.
Starting point is 01:18:54 If we go down really fast, it's hard to go to the mat. Why don't we land on the roof and we all lay flat, except for the people that are going in, you cast invisibility. This is the exact conversation they had when they were about to go kill Osama. I still have, we're going like a dark cloud. Wait. I have an idea. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:19:13 Is there enough wait for me to get on the carpet for this point? It's so fucking stressful. You can certainly try. There was a weight that you're not aware how much it's on it. Yes, I do. It's a thousand pounds. They don't know how much weight is on their total of people. Right. Everybody, how much do you wait?
Starting point is 01:19:29 Don't ask a woman, no. I'm sorry, Your Honor, but I need to know. The idea is if I could step off on the carpet and hang with you guys, then go, you can. can float down to the, what's what I call it, take Vax here, and then I can, oh shit, I need to be near you, DeKazette, damn it. Let's just rely on the roof.
Starting point is 01:19:51 All right. We're going to go in, we're going to hit the roof. You turn me invisible, he turns him invisible, you guys light up the night. We do that part. We just do it, we just got to go. We're lighting up now? Wait, you light up on the roof?
Starting point is 01:20:04 What's right? Let's look for access first. Don't light up. No, we give the ghost side. Yes, we need to wait before we light up. If anyone takes notice, then turn on the lights. Yeah, to find a good place to light up. By the way.
Starting point is 01:20:14 Do not light up until you see the black or greens of their eyes or whatever of color. By the way, Clarota, you have definitely picked the right people to assist you. We're all. You do, there's no verbal response, but you do just emotionally sense a slight hint of regret. Eaminating from the mind flare.
Starting point is 01:20:37 We got this. All right, let's go land on the room. All right, let's do it. All right. You guys descend, the hawk. Down, down the eagle flies down. As part of the landing, everyone make a secondary stealth. Okay, all right.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Did we still have plus 10? You still have the spell. Oh, yes. Oh, that was cops. Yeah. Oh, no. You're a terrible person. 30.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Wow. 20. I'm like those boobies that crash in. You can't disavage, right? You roll with disavage? Well, I rolled a one. Okay. Two failures.
Starting point is 01:21:15 That's 15, 29. 23. 21. 28. All that trace is saving grace. A bit of a harsh landing from your perspective, but thankfully you have two small gnomes to break your fall. You drag them a little bit across the stonework on the top. It's not stonework actually.
Starting point is 01:21:38 It's not stonework, actually. Stonework. Most of this whole thing is stonework. It looks at the roof of this is made of a thick, scavenged wood. Whether it was taking it from the surface, from the mines itself. It is just wood planks that are all keeping the roof of this. It's reclaimed. It's very nice.
Starting point is 01:21:58 If that thing sees us, though, it could be game over. I still think we should stick to the plan of blinding it. Yeah, do it. Yes. So some of us need to go inside. Leave an eye. Yes. Yeah, the two go inside.
Starting point is 01:22:10 And if shit goes down, we light it up. Yeah. I will fucking yell into my earring if shit goes down. You guys go crazy. Go! Go on shit. We look around for any roof access to the entrance. Okay.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Come on, Chip in there is no roof entrance. It looks like it is purely a functional roof or any sort of weathering that may have, you know, a rocks that may have tumble. You do see there are a few small rocks and pieces of, of a cavern that may have plummeted here. There's a small bolt. No chimneys. know nothing, there doesn't appear to be a fireplace or any sort of interior like that. Glancing over the sides, you can see that on the floor, which you can't really tell if there's two floors or not. It looks tall enough to have two floors, but you don't see
Starting point is 01:22:52 a set of windows or anything that belies that to you. It may just be a really tall single floor, but there are a couple of small window openings, one on each side of... We're going to go around. Tiberius, could you do me the favor of making me disappear? Yes, when I do this, though, it's going to be very cool. Holy shit, where are my hands? Right? That's amazing. You immediately disappear from view. You just currently, visually do not exist.
Starting point is 01:23:25 And you still have my bugs. We're laying flat on the roof, right? You guys are all on the roof now, you're fine. Your fly spell vanishes. You feel your weight return to you for a second. For a split moment, you're a little sad because you're having fun. Oh. It was a dancer. We can see the window that we pick one of the sides, I don't know, west side.
Starting point is 01:23:44 Okay, west side. Is the window, is it a single pane? Is it an openable window? As you glance over, it is just an opening. There is no glass. Great. There's something blocking the way. It is about roughly big enough to fit, to fit a normal sized half-elf or human.
Starting point is 01:24:03 I take a Scanam by the Strach. Scan them by the scruff and swing him down. Oh, I turn in his in. Okay. So as you grab him and you're bringing him down, you cast him visibly on yourself, you both vanish now. And all the rest of you are kind of like holding your breath, hoping that now that you don't know what's happening,
Starting point is 01:24:19 it's going to go well. And I'm scaling it after him. All right. Go ahead and just make an acrobatics check. Please don't roll the one. Please don't drop me. 18. All right, you guys both.
Starting point is 01:24:30 You gingerly scale down the wall. The stones, thankfully, are just half-hazardly put together where there's enough grip space for you to come down? I have a climbing kit. We're in, maybe. So literally for that, but okay. So you lower him down, you bring him inside, you step down through the opening into the center of a hallway.
Starting point is 01:24:50 Can I... We can't talk to each other. Yes, we get a map, finally. And we can't signal each other, and we don't know where each other is. I hold his hand. We're holding hands. I'm leaning lay down, upside. I'm outside. Of course you are.
Starting point is 01:25:05 I'm holding his hand. Sam and I've done this before. Yeah. Matthew, I use my earring. Okay. I'm not going to talk back to you. So whatever you say... Just to remind you of how these particular things work. I love the scandal. I'm not actually talking right now.
Starting point is 01:25:21 It's a telepathic. You can just talk to each other with the rings. As the two of you... As the two of you step into this room, you look about you and there are some ramshackle makeshift vets. in the room, five to be exact, from right to left. This appears to be one portion of a barracks-type sleeping arrangement.
Starting point is 01:25:41 Okay. The beds are empty. They're kind of tossed. They're not like well-kept or anything. There's sheets kind of tossed about, and it smells awful in here. Okay. First, I just heard Tiberius' voice in my head, so I'm going to test it out and think. Scanlon, can you hear me?
Starting point is 01:25:55 Can I hear him? From... From thoughts only. He's whispering about... He's wearing one. From thoughts only. Can I hear him? No.
Starting point is 01:26:06 I tug on his hands to keep going into the barracks. I move past it. Um, should we pause right now? You don't bring her stuff? Come on in. Go in. My sister's hand. We'll make it work.
Starting point is 01:26:33 We'll make it work. Oh my god. We'll bring you up to speed later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house. Yes. So a question for the DM, I'm invisible. Pretty much. Do I need to spell?
Starting point is 01:26:45 Do I speak? Is there still a stealth check? You're invisible, but noise is still a factor. Okay. You just have a severe, you have advantage on your stealth check. Right, so I think we should probably still and start moving in. Yeah, that's, we tell you John, being invisible.
Starting point is 01:27:01 Both do you guys make your stealth check? I'm not there. I mean, I'm invisible, and I rolled a five. You have advantage, you roll twice. Yeah, because you're both. Thirteen. You both feel your stealth, are you going into, there is one opening into a hallway here.
Starting point is 01:27:19 Yeah, do we have the, anyone have a laser? Yep. Right. We squeeze it together. Okay. There we go. Okay, so we're going to go down here. To this one.
Starting point is 01:27:34 As you guys step out, you can see immediately there are two Derrigar guards right by a door that leads to a central chamber. So we're going to go this way. All right. And you should put this side. Immediately you see two more. Derogar guards. All right, but I'm going to, I'm inching up to the, I'm pulling the scoundling behind me,
Starting point is 01:28:01 but I'm inching up to this door and just, peeking through and seeing what I can see. Okay, looking inside, you can see these small symbols are like basically just redstone, the glow stone that lights the underground caverns here in a large portion of crackhammer are just embedded in the wall in a small scant. Peering through here, you see one against the wall. You also see along the edges here what looks to be racks of
Starting point is 01:28:22 spears and pikes and hammers and various war, Kuchraman and weapons just hanging in. There's a set of armor over a small, just kind of a wooden, and rangement. It's a way that the armor itself is just being stored there. This looks to be like a fast grab armory. I pull Scanlon by the hand and we enter into this room. This is so romantic. All right. It's just like the day we met Sam.
Starting point is 01:28:51 Do you guys enter? Quietly walking this way. Past the door. That looks like the front door. The front door is currently closed though. We're going to keep going this way. Oh man. We're doing our...we're flanking! Flanking! All right.
Starting point is 01:29:06 He's going to out this way. There is one DuraGar here. There doesn't appear to be a doorway or entrance to the central chamber on this side of the hallway. I still have the pitch in a bucket, the shit in a bucket in my hand, by the way. I mean, we can take these guys. I'm not worried about that. But we make noise. Yes. How far apart are the two Doregars standing at that door?
Starting point is 01:29:32 Right there? Yes. about five feet apart, just enough space, like ones on each side of the doorway. Wait, okay. Just. Wait, what are those red things right there? Those are the small sconces with the glowstone,
Starting point is 01:29:52 the red stone that lights the. So we're trying to get there. Greater invisibility, so you can tap in. You'll still be invisible. Okay. I pull a gold coin out of my pocket and throw it at this corner. Straight up wild gear.
Starting point is 01:30:12 Fuck yeah. All right. Go ahead and just make a general dexterity check. Yeah. Okay, and because of Keel of five advantage, correct? Yes, yes. You should do. Okay.
Starting point is 01:30:25 So what is this? Just a dexterity. Just add your dexterity modify it too, which makes five. Okay, so that's a 17. All right, you, tis-de-de-d-d-d-d-d-shringing sound. Both of the Dura-gar kind of look over. What's that?
Starting point is 01:30:40 They look back at each other. What's over by it? for a second, this one nods her head and begins walking over to inspect it. This one stays at its post. Must have been my imagination. All right. I pull Scanlan behind me and tiptoe right behind this asshole. Yeah, yeah, do it. Asshole. Do it. Get you wait. Put it in him.
Starting point is 01:31:03 And take out my vocal blade and reach out and grab him by the hair and stick in the back of his neck. You've got my dice. You got my dice. So, as you reach up, you grasp the back of this really nasty, wiry, thick Duragar hair. I'm so tense right now. You yank the head back and take the base of the blade, go ahead and make an attack roll. Oh! It's a surprise roll, so you have advantage on the attack?
Starting point is 01:31:29 Attack roll. Okay, good. And I believe you have a bonus to, if you get the attack. Yes. Self, a snake attack? Well, I get, yes, I get advantage, but you can't triple up on advantage. triple up on advantage, I believe. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 01:31:45 It's right book. That was the freak you out, huh? All right, so just double check in here as a part of your ability. Remember, every 50 subscribers gets a free yellow on. Subscribe now, kids. What is that my mind? If you score a hit against a piece, it is a critical hit.
Starting point is 01:32:04 That's the other thing I was going to mention. Oh, thank you. All right, so this isn't a dexterity check. This is an attack. This is an attack. This is an attack. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:32:12 So that's a 26. That is going to hit, and that is a critical hit. Go ahead and roll damage to sneak attack. Yeah! Okay. Die, die, die. Okay. I'm sweating.
Starting point is 01:32:24 Okay, that's 2 plus 7 is 9. That's 9. That's just that part. Okay. 6. And 19. What's double? The sneak attack damage?
Starting point is 01:32:41 The sneak attack damage and the dice damage. And the dice damage. 19 plus 26. This guy's damaged. Fifty-two. Oh! As you pull the head back, you can hear a slight, a slight good old... Is about as much noises can make it out before the blade just...
Starting point is 01:32:56 Right out the front of his throat, blocking any passage of the air. As you hold it, you twist the blade, he goes limp in your hand, but you catch it and keep holding it there so he doesn't make any noise. Can you... Can you... Can you... Easy? Easy. No, no. No, no.
Starting point is 01:33:11 No. You can't. Like you stay in there. I just have a thought, I'm going to sit him back against the wall and let him slide against it and just grab Scanlan and into this room. Yes, okay. You're Scanlan. I think you're about to get a cost. He's still standing up, kind of.
Starting point is 01:33:32 All right. Why is he leading Scanlan? What's happening? Dirty. Shh, shh. I'm sorry. While I'm invisible, I look around for traps. I'm just going to see if there's any trap, trap doors, trap.
Starting point is 01:33:45 Go ahead and make a perception. That's what we do. Not great? I got a 20. The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins.
Starting point is 01:34:11 This is old school adventuring and its most cruel. Your torch, tithe. Mixed down in real time, and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the Glass Cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.
Starting point is 01:34:44 See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog has been thrust into a not-so-dark, not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's detective agency as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every clodig and fight. It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story might be the only thing that can save their lives. Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you.
Starting point is 01:35:32 Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents The Chaotic's Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. Yay. Eight. Nine. Okay.
Starting point is 01:35:53 You notice no traps, but you do notice, though, is there's a giant kind of war room table at the top of this raised platform. It's about six feet up, and there's a stairway that leads up to it. You see at the table? One of the illifid mine flayers. The armor general that you saw before. General! And there are two other Durga currently at the table.
Starting point is 01:36:14 And they are in the middle of an excuse discussion. Stay invisible. Do we see? We can't communicate. You guys have got seconds until the other guard. We can't talk. You can't talk. You're here footsteps behind you.
Starting point is 01:36:25 I put the bucket of shit into Scanlan's hands. What are you doing with you? Give him a little nudge. Gentle little nudge. I step forward into the room and I hurl it at the fucker's face, the general... And I'm rolling behind him at the same time. Behind the illithid. Ready to go.
Starting point is 01:36:43 So you go up here as well? Yeah, behind him. Okay. So you dart up behind him. Make a stealth check, both of you. Oh, God. With advantage. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:36:52 Oh, God. Oh, yeah. Wait, do we get the plus 10 to stealth? No. No. Oh, thank. 19. I'm using Scanlan's advantage, so 1629.
Starting point is 01:37:04 Okay. You slink up behind, seemingly unnoticed. There's a slight twitch to the mind player's head for a second as you go ahead and take a big old bucket of shit. and bring it. Go ahead and make an attack roll. An attack roll? It would be, you're not proficient with,
Starting point is 01:37:29 you're not proficient with goblin shit buckets, unfortunately. So just go ahead and roll a D20 and add your dexterity. Oh, my dexterity? My dexterity. Strength is higher. Strength higher? No, no, strength is not higher for me. Oh, it is higher.
Starting point is 01:37:47 So 19. 19. All righty. Oh my god. You fling it as the invisibility spell wears off of you as part of the attack. You fling the bucket. A spray of thick ghouy, goblin, fecal matter,
Starting point is 01:38:02 goes streaking through the air as the illifid turns with its eyes wide to see you suddenly appear and then suddenly see this entire batch of thick goblin shit just poofshhs across its face. Suddenly you see his tentacles rioting as goes, and as it screams all of you here in your head, a scream. I'm stabbing, I'm stabing.
Starting point is 01:38:22 As, as a- Cast stone skin immediately. All right, as this happens, you start, cast stone's skin, you run for the blade, and you hear a counter voice in your mind. Fuck. Clorota, go, no.
Starting point is 01:38:32 No. Warrior attacks. I cast, light on Grog's head. Your head comes to extremely bright glow, all of you averting your gaze. This is stealth, right? It's stealth for me? Uh, you, yes.
Starting point is 01:38:43 No, you're invisible, so. No, attack, attack. You're in daylight, killing. 29. Yes, 29. It definitely rolls to hit. You had surprise. Go ahead and roll. It's a critical, right? I'm assassinated. It's a critical, technically, yep.
Starting point is 01:38:55 Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, we're going to, for the general? The illifid is your show us all. Okay, yes, yes. All right. Should we go in? We don't know anything. So, roll damage on this.
Starting point is 01:39:06 Oh, we can act on that. Yeah. Stone skin, light on his head, it's going into a rage. Stay light on my shield. I'm so happy to be here. I will say for the purposes this battle, there is no Trinket here because Trinket would not have fit across the way to get there. Okay. Did you hear an arrow?
Starting point is 01:39:27 Yes, and you have an enrapped, an entrapment arrow now. Okay, I get ready for that. Okay. BM 62 into the battle. Oh! Oh! You take the blade and as it pierces the back. Oh, it's a poison one, by the back.
Starting point is 01:39:48 Okay. pierces the back of its skull, you feel all the muscles in its neck tense and reaction to the blade, but the blade slips past. You can see a gout of purplish black blood begin to spill from its neck as an instinctively distinctions reaches up and pulls the blade from the back of its head. What's the DC on the poison? It's, it's, I don't have no idea. Um, um, should be on the blade info. Poison dagger.
Starting point is 01:40:11 Fuck. No. Uh, I think it's, oh, it's, uh, it's, uh, it's, uh, 15, it's 15. 15? Okay. Uh, the poison does not. does not seem to take effect its body resists it. It is still alive, but it looks like it's like clutching the back of its neck as it turns around. You're like, you can see this blood spurning out of its mouth, and his eyes are now just burning with rage.
Starting point is 01:40:32 All the rest of these Duregar are now reaching and pulling their weapons out. Everyone rolling his... Natural 20! Oh! Oh, shit! Ah! Let's kill some bad guys! All right, so 25 to 20?
Starting point is 01:40:58 20. 20, natural 20. Do you have no bonuses to, you should have your dexed bonus too. Oh, yeah, that's a 25. 25, there we go. So, I'm gonna say you're probably going in first, buddy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:41:12 All right, 25 to 20. No one else? Oh, I think I got like a 21. What'd you roll? I rolled 16 plus... Yep, that'd be 21, yeah. All right. So, uh, 90,
Starting point is 01:41:26 19 anyone? 19. 19, nice. 18, anyone? 18. Nice. I got 16. Do you have like a picture or like a file anywhere saved of your sheet?
Starting point is 01:41:44 Okay. All right. We're in the board camp. All right, so what's your? 14. Yeah, remember that work. 16. All right, so Tiberius.
Starting point is 01:41:59 Scanlan. What was yours? Nine. Nine. Not the drag. All right. All right, right. All right,
Starting point is 01:42:07 All right, top of the round is Vax with initiative. Nice. Gonna gang in the back of his head some more. I'm still invisible according to Tiberius's greater invisibility. No, no, no. As soon as I catch Stunskine, you were attacking.
Starting point is 01:42:22 That's why I said it's all going after. You are now visible. Okay, Bob, stabbing in the back of the head. Do I get a first sassanay? Do I get the critical still here, Diem? No. You've gotten the one hit. It is completely aware of you.
Starting point is 01:42:34 It is not a surprise. So that's a 28. It is so aware of you. It has never been more aware of you in its life. I just rolled the 28. Okay, that definitely hits. And attacking with your offhand? Oh, so this is my bonus attack?
Starting point is 01:42:49 Yeah, you get the one attack, and you get the bonus hand. Okay, so this is, um, okay. This is fire. My flame tongue dagger, I got a 28. Eight. Eight. All right.
Starting point is 01:43:05 All right. And your other attack? Do your bonus stack? Was that the bonus attack or was that my main attack? No, this is your new combat round. That was your main attack. That's a nine, and here comes my bonus attack. Okay, 14.
Starting point is 01:43:17 Kill him. Kill him. 24 hits. Yeah. Here's my team dagger, which is an eight. Eight damage, yes. Okay. So the first strike, you swing across the flamethronged dagger.
Starting point is 01:43:31 As it backs up, you put another gash across the front of its neck and chest area. It reels back and it's looking at you with angry fury. You feel this coming shake, this like horrible force of severe retribution coming to your mind. And as you're bracing for it, you take your other blade, you see its mouth opens up with frustration and anger as its tentacles kind of curl back, ready to just go in for the grab.
Starting point is 01:43:53 And you place the blade squarely into that maw. You feel the scraping of its teeth across your knuckles, but it doesn't matter because whatever anger in light was once in its face goes darkened. Yes! As immediately it crumbles to the ground, lifeless, pull the blade from the Ma. Mindflare down.
Starting point is 01:44:09 Wrake. All right, he was next, but not anymore. As it falls to the ground, all the rest of the Duregar immediately have a reaction. We'll get to their turn in a second. Vex, you're up. So you're on the roof up here right now. You gotta get inside first.
Starting point is 01:44:28 I get, we have to run down in. Run down, you're on a wooden roof surface. There are a point you heard before there were an entrance here and an entrance there. Windows are swinging down, looking at the border. Unless like, well, unless Vrog can just tear through the roof. It's wood. You can hold initiative, though.
Starting point is 01:44:45 I guess I'll hold to see what the hell is in the name. All right, so you'll hold on that. All right, it is now this dude's turn, the general. He, unaffected by this, it seems, just angrily, leaps onto the table, runs across, and jumps down towards you. Yes. As he does, you see he, uh, His physical form seems to enlarge.
Starting point is 01:45:10 Like his actual small, dwarish form, and begins to swell his muscles tense. And he's about the size of a normal person, if not a little bigger right now. He comes at you with this giant black, jagged, metal warhammer. It comes down to swing at you. As he comes down, you see it bursts into flame. What?
Starting point is 01:45:28 There is fire now surrounding the head of this warhammer as it arcs towards you. What? Uh, all right. That is going to be a... 20-4 to hit? Oh, it hits, but I use uncanny dodge to try to swoop out of the way the best I can.
Starting point is 01:45:44 Alrighty. You suffer once around. That would be 12 plus six fire damage. So 18, reduced to nine. You take nine damage from the strike. All right, all right. It's going, as it strikes down, it goes for a back swing to attack you a second time.
Starting point is 01:46:03 And that is going to be a 15 versus AC. This time you just darch, dutch completely out of the way. Durge out of the way. Durch. Dürge. Dersh. Percy, you're up. Just in case, I'm going to push off and wait for Grog.
Starting point is 01:46:20 So I'm holding my turn. Okay. Grog, your turn. Right, so we're on the roof of the thing, correct you are. I'm in a rage. I take the part still on my head. I pick up Max, and I draw one gigantic smash through the roof of the
Starting point is 01:46:35 roof of the building. Go ahead and make a strength check. Come on, you got it. Come on. This is all you're good for. Yes. Come on, Kurolog. Last?
Starting point is 01:46:45 This is all you're good for. 15. 15? Yeah. All right. Come on. What? 15.
Starting point is 01:46:54 You bring your axe up. You bring it down on top as hard as you can. Go ahead and roll axe damage. This is a D12. It's a D12 plus your strength modifier. Plus two because you're a D12. you're raging. Is I got an advantage on that?
Starting point is 01:47:07 No. Yes, two, because you're raging. Nine. Nine damage. Okay. As you swing the axe down, slam it hits the wood with the sheer weight of you there. And most of you guys, come right at that point, the actual roof breaks open and splits in a small space. You slide down in the process.
Starting point is 01:47:26 I jump on to Grabs' foot. All right. Go ahead. Both of you make an acrobatics check. Oh, I wouldn't have had to do it. I wouldn't have had to do it. All right, well, I'm in the building. 21.
Starting point is 01:47:41 Microwe check? Yeah. Okay. Pike? You have disadvantaged because you're in plate armor. Yes. All right. So, Rod, you managed to land on your feet. Pike, you actually plummet off and fall off to the side right there.
Starting point is 01:47:54 Oh, no. You are currently prone and from the fall, which you guys both dropped down. You managed to reduce the damage, but you from the fall, you take eight points of fall damage. As you are now flat on your back, the wind knocked out of you for a minute. I should have just...
Starting point is 01:48:07 Pike! I'm okay, I'm okay. Okay, thank God. All right, that brings us now. Vex and Percy are at the same. You first or should I go first? Let's go down at the same time. We'll go, we both jump down at the same time.
Starting point is 01:48:22 Both jump down, go ahead and make your acrobatics checks, guys. 20. I add it to my acrobatics. Which you don't know. Which is like, I bet. Right, your accombatics is you're proficient in it and you have a plus five decks. That would bring it to 11.
Starting point is 01:48:42 Yes. Or no, 12. 12. Yes. You just barely land on your feet. You do take fall damage, but you don't fall prone. You take eight points of fall damage. Percy, you manage to land fine without any damage on your feet, on the ground. Both of you kind of three-point landing, Avenger style. Do I have time to put, get a shot off or am I?
Starting point is 01:49:06 You do. That was your movement. Awesome. So what's the deal? Wow. I'm taking a second and I see that Vax is getting attacked, and I'm going to just take a shot at the guy with a hammer. The biggest thing I see. Do you have your glasses or your goggles on? Yeah, I actually have, that's right, I have a helmet, so yeah, I'm wearing the helmet.
Starting point is 01:49:29 Okay. Cool with that. So go for it. Do it, Starlord. Oh, natural 20. Against the general or against one of the Durgar? The general. The guy on the table attacking me.
Starting point is 01:49:43 Okay. Yeah, you can just barely see him. The stairways up there. Doesn't matter. As long as the partial cover doesn't matter. Right, I know. And he does have three quarters cover because of the distance, but you natural 20, so it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:49:55 And I ask you. And he ignores that. I ignore three-quarter cover. You do because I'm awesome. Yep. Okay, so that's double one of the. I should have gotten some bonuses on that. I'm an idiot.
Starting point is 01:50:07 It's just double dice damage? Double dice damage. Double dice damage, and then add your modifier. That's... 19 points of damage. To the general. Nice. Nice. She gets shot in the back of the shoulder plate.
Starting point is 01:50:22 You hear it ricochet and a little bit of blood begins to streak off the back of his head. He looks over his shoulder with an angry grunt. You can see now this dwarf who's still swelling in size. And it looks at an angry nostril glare. You, have your bow ready? Yeah. And I want to do lightning arrow on the guy attacking my brother. That guy there?
Starting point is 01:50:42 Yeah. Okay, go ahead and roll two attack? I don't think a hit. Would you roll? I had a four. A four, you had a plus 11 to hit. It's to be 15. Unfortunately, you miss.
Starting point is 01:50:55 The arrow streaks past. He, yeah. The arrow just ended striking the wall back here, and arcs lightning throughout the wall. Unfortunately, it does that happen. I just for future stuff. You used your bonus action to cast lightning arrow. Oh, so I get a regular attack now?
Starting point is 01:51:13 That was part of a regular attack. If your next arrow you fire. I get it. You're going off foot. This is cool. Yeah. I think. Maybe that'll check off that's awesome just to be sure, because I don't want to screw you out of a cool turn.
Starting point is 01:51:24 That is mine. What is my? Next time bring your sheep. I'm sorry. That's okay. You have a bonus action to cast lightning airst your next arrow you fire. However, you do have two attacks. So you get to shoot a second time.
Starting point is 01:51:34 Yeah. It just doesn't infect by lightning arrow. I roll 14. That does hit. Go ahead and roll damage. Which is 1D10 plus. I think it was 1D8, actually. Oh, for the long, okay.
Starting point is 01:51:43 That's 1d8 plus. plus five for your decks and then plus two for the bow. It's plus seven. Ten damage, all right. So the first arrow streaks off hits the wall. As he's kind of staring at Percy, he looks towards you, and as he does the second arrow, sticks into the plate, and he kind of looks at it, and just snaps it off in the armor,
Starting point is 01:52:02 grabbing his two-minute sword, or the, sorry, that's going to be the Warhammer, of the other hand. Minnie's confusing. All right, that ends your turn. Grog, the light that is very, beaming from your helmet currently right now is filling up the room and it's extremely blight. Most of you guys can handle it.
Starting point is 01:52:21 You see all the Durgar at the table are like, a bunch of Durgar come running in as well. As they run in, they're having to shield their eyes, but it's actually physically hurting them to be in that room right now. They're like, ah, keeping it at bay. This one attempts to run in. This one's kind of making this way over.
Starting point is 01:52:38 These guys here, this one's gonna go ahead and run over to here. This one's gonna go ahead and come to Grog. These two are gonna come out behind Is that guy the general? That guy's the general, yes. This one's gonna come up behind to you. All right, they have disadvantage on their attacks. Nice.
Starting point is 01:52:55 Because of the light, so attacks. Yeah. Because I'm so bright. Exactly. Attack against you. Yes. You're the brightest tool in the shed today. That is a 17 versus AC.
Starting point is 01:53:09 You just dodge out of the way. Next one, come out of this war pick against you, Grog. That is 20 versus AC. That hits. That hits, all right. You take eight points of damage as it slams you with its war pack in the chest. You can feel it kind of gets about a half an inch of depth into it,
Starting point is 01:53:30 but you just kind of shrug it off and flex your muscles and it pops it out of your torso. That's huge. All right, the two against you. Mm-hmm. That'll be a 19 versus AC. Oh, yeah, that hits for sure. And a 17 versus AC.
Starting point is 01:53:47 That's, that hits for sure. All right, so you take two hits. That's 11 damage. Okay. And 13 damage, as both of them start wailing you from behind with war picks. I yell. All right.
Starting point is 01:54:05 Next up is the one that's attacking you. Scamlin. Scan one. That's going to be at the disadvantage. A 15 versus Army class. 14. 14. It still strikes you.
Starting point is 01:54:16 No. You take eight points of damage from the war pick, slamming you over the shirt. shoulder. Ah, I'm so awesome, Pike. That ends there go? Tiberius, you're up. I'm still on the roof, right? Eight. You're still on the roof, yes. What can I see from where I, like if I go around and what can I see? You can see. You can see pretty much the entire battlefield. You're just up here looking down through it. Wonderful. You're currently the only one's left there. Yes, I think I'll stay right here. Thank you very much. And how tall is the
Starting point is 01:54:47 roof? How high is it? Oh, it's about 25 feet up? Okay. Wonderful. Wonderful. So, this is fun. You are technically, because I can do it. You're gonna use one of the little lifties, aren't you?
Starting point is 01:55:07 I am. Yeah. Finally. Ring the fire, Cerberis. Now he's getting on toys. Oh, yeah. Come on, do something. I'm waiting for him to do something, good.
Starting point is 01:55:24 That's so cool. I got him this for Christmas two years ago. You are up here right now. Yes. Oh, yeah. Three-dimensional fighting. Toys, toys. Is that visible?
Starting point is 01:55:35 Scots. Yeah. That's a sweet D&D rave. Um, okay, I'm going to, I see the two guards behind Vex, right? This is what that what's going on? Yep, right there. And then the one Dervgard in front of Grog.
Starting point is 01:55:51 Is that what's going on to? Yep, right there. Okay. I will cast, I cast grand columns. columns under all three of those dudes and pin them right up against the roof with my columns. Clever girl. Okay, the... Pillars of it, yes.
Starting point is 01:56:08 Right, but those pillars only go 15 feet up. No, they go to 25. 25, oh. Yes, there you go. Okay. That's why I always ask that question. All right. And it does 66 bludgeoning damage when it's pinned.
Starting point is 01:56:22 Bye-bye. If they don't make their say. All right. All right, so go ahead and what is your DC on that? Your spell DC. 17. 17. All right. The heartiness of the Dorogar resilience
Starting point is 01:56:42 gives them advantage on saves against spells. They all make their saves. What? But they are still up on these platforms now, raised above. Jesus. So what is, does it do any damage if they make their saves? I'm ready right now. Okay.
Starting point is 01:57:00 Come on iPhone, come on iPhone. Come on iPhone. You're supposed to know everything. iPhone 5. The fifth edition. What doesn't it say? It doesn't. I guess it doesn't.
Starting point is 01:57:12 Okay. So they are currently... What is this madness? Oh, you're crazy. I'm putting them off. Oh, wait a minute. No. Well, I, I, I, I, I, you make this call.
Starting point is 01:57:24 If a pillar is prevented from reaching its full height because of a ceiling or the obstacle, a creature on the pillar takes six 266 bludging damage and is restrained pinched between the pillar and obstacle The restrained creature can use an action to make a strength of dexterity check against a spell save 30 DC on excesses Which is no longer restrained and must either move off the boat or fall off So they still it still happens but they're not pinned by it got you okay so go ahead and roll damage for all of them Whoo who do so no new spells that just got released Yeah, yeah magic in love Oh my god
Starting point is 01:57:55 So let's say just keep your tabs on them awesome Both are those against us. There. This was awesome. 27 damage. 27 damage? Yeah, all right. All three of the Durgaar are crushed.
Starting point is 01:58:12 To death? Against the ceiling. I did 27 damage each one. To death? Just splat, splat, splat. They're all slamming the scene. You can see limp, dwarf, dwarfed arms and legs now dangling out of these stone pillars
Starting point is 01:58:25 that are now permanently betting them into the ceiling. This is so crazy. I go like this. Ha! I use two of my sorcerer points and I cast Crickenspell and I look at the general and I, because of my books I've been taken with, I cast blight on his eyes. Okay. His water. What's the, and the DC is 17? Yes. All right, natural 20. So he makes this safe. What's the effect of blight? He takes 8D8 damage and if he saves, he takes half that damage. Okay.
Starting point is 01:59:01 What was it? 10, 15 plus... They were all 8th, right? Well, he does all the device. But he said half. 8D. Oh, I see. Yeah, I see.
Starting point is 01:59:13 15 plus, what is that? 10, 14. What is that? Your first one was... 29? 29. Okay. So we'll save for the solid 14 points of damage.
Starting point is 01:59:22 Okay. All right, gotcha. All right. No other effecting just the damage from the blight, right? Yeah, because you made a safe. Okay, cool, gotcha. All right, Scanlan, you're up. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:59:33 I'm going to, uh, yeah, God, there's so few people to kill now. You did it all. Is it just us and the general? Wait, that guy behind you though. Just you guys, the general. I can't really see anything. There's a guy right behind you.
Starting point is 01:59:47 Okay. Those guys got slammed and, uh. He's gonna swipe a chip. Yeah, he was dead. Okay, I'm gonna cast Dominate Person on the, general. What does that do?
Starting point is 01:59:59 Oh, shit. No. He's a power top. With advantage, you roll the one and two on the saving throw. Yes! That's ridiculous. Okay. I'm going to dominate him and inform him, I can give him a command, right?
Starting point is 02:00:15 Yes. I can, I'm going to tell him to stand down and tell all of his allies to stand down. All right. He turns around. Gives you a look, the restraints like this. Witness. Men, all of you, drop your weapons. Now, we are surrendering to our new infiltrators. He throws his war hammer to the ground. The rest of them all kind of look around. Go ahead and I'm going to have you make intimidation check on his behalf. Okay. On his. Yes. Do I add mine?
Starting point is 02:00:57 No, I'm just considering that. So you hold an 11? 11. Okay. The three other Dürghar look confused, look at the dead mind flare, look at their general telling the surrender, and they all kind of feel their weapons to the ground and stand there kind of with their arms to the side,
Starting point is 02:01:17 kind of waiting for what's gonna happen next. As you finish that, Clorota slowly drifts down. Oh yeah, Colona, thanks for all the fucking help. Oh no. This is just a mini-box. Cloverta just kind of looks around, assesses it, and you hear this.
Starting point is 02:01:38 and you hear this voice and your mind go. So, that ends that turn, Scaling. Do you want to move at all? You're going to stay where you are. I'm going to stay where... Well, I'm going to move just a couple feet away from the guy right behind me, and I'm going to, as my bonus action,
Starting point is 02:02:02 might as well give Grog some dice. And also just tell everyone, remember, let's not kill the general. We need him for information. Probably if anyone tries to hit him, he'll snap out of it. Yeah. That's it.
Starting point is 02:02:16 All right. I also take a little poo in my pants. Okay. Small Kilo. There's still, this is still a battle, even though... No combatants, moving in. And if you guys are deciding not to fight anymore, what's your plan? What are we do?
Starting point is 02:02:37 I come on down and I say, good work, guys. That was cool. That was great. He's under my spell. Perhaps we should tell you my... You should tie him up. That's what I was going to say. I cast grasping vine, and I just take a vine and I tie his hands behind his back and kind of grapple him. So that'll break the spell.
Starting point is 02:03:00 Well, no, I'm not damaging him. I'm just hugging him. Yeah. Hugging him with vines. With signs. All right. Vine hugs. So, as this is happening, you guys feel a familiar tremble.
Starting point is 02:03:16 Oh no. There must be quiet. In the ground. DEM is out of his mind. Everyone make yourself check. Damn it. Oh, that's a 20. That is a 20.
Starting point is 02:03:32 Oh. This is the second time I've got a one on my self-check. Wow. I'm not still being today. 18. 19. 14. 23.
Starting point is 02:03:45 Pretty good overall. Two. 22. All right. Yeah. It's two feels. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 02:03:55 So there's, the rumble, it gets louder and louder, and you can see the durer, looking around nervously. The spice. And the rumbling kind of fades for a second. And with the cacophonous cracking sound, the stone floor beneath you splits open. No! Yeah! Right here. Percy making acrobatics check to the cataportics check to the door.
Starting point is 02:04:18 make an acrobatics check to try and avoid whatever is coming through. Whatever? It's a dragon. 18. It's a worm. All right, you managed to just pull out of the way. Yes. As a large, what the moon?
Starting point is 02:04:30 What's the world? What is it? What? A large armored, four-legged creature comes bursting out of the ground around you. Oh, great. It's a rock butthole. He's got this horrible screeching,
Starting point is 02:04:44 this growl as this kind of hungry look in its eyes. Can I have reactionary real quick? Take my grasping vine and just lift him and kind of put him in the corner to keep the general safe? Unfortunately. No. Fuck.
Starting point is 02:05:00 Is he ruddy? He is currently, he is considered grappled. I have a question. I was just trying to keep up safe. We take a party break before. What? Potty break were you? Why?
Starting point is 02:05:10 No breaks tonight? No breaks. No breaks. We're pushing through. We're pushing through. We're pushing through. We need a bottle. Exercise your kegles.
Starting point is 02:05:17 If you really need to go, you can. When it's not your turn. No, it's fine. It's pee on Ashley. It's okay. So, as this entity comes burrowing up from underneath the ground. Go get. Go get. I need to.
Starting point is 02:05:35 It immediately makes a strike against... Guys, this is so exciting. And Laura has no idea what's going on. No clue! This is going to be a bite attack against. fight attack against you, Percy? Okay. That is, all right, 24 versus armor class. Shit, light attack.
Starting point is 02:05:59 Yeah, that hits. All right, as you reactively attempt to move out of the way, this creature turns tearing out of the ground, gets its bearings, rears back, and this giant toothy maw comes clamping down onto your entire torso. You suffer 36 points of piercing damage. Oh, what? Shit. 36?
Starting point is 02:06:21 36 points of piercing damage. That's going to end its turn. Shit. Pike, you're up. Okay, well... I've hurt. Ouch. I'm still prone.
Starting point is 02:06:39 You are prone. You use your movement to get back up. Okay, so I'll use my movement to get back up. All right. Do I also get an attack for doing that, or...? Yeah, you still have your action, in your bonus action. This is your move. Okay.
Starting point is 02:06:51 I will, I'm going to use guiding bolts, and I'm going to shoot that thing. All right. Go ahead and roll for the attack. That's my girl. Come on, pie. Does this guy appear to be messed up by the daylight at all? Okay. Do I add anything? You add your spell attack model fire. You add your spell sheet.
Starting point is 02:07:11 So the top of your spell sheet. Sorry guys. Oh, sweet. Okay. So that would be 25. That definitely hits. So, getting bold. What's that do? So I roll, let it go. I roll 4D6. I roll 46.
Starting point is 02:07:30 46. Go ahead and do that. 16. 16. All right. So, you reach back, clutching your holy symbol. If you get back off the ground, release your hand as this suddenly flaring blast of divine energy comes cascading out of the front of your palm, blasting into the side of the face, nearly searing one of the eyes of the creature. It rears back, bring one leg up instinctually. Slams the ground in the process. How you doing?
Starting point is 02:08:03 That's disadvantage to your next attack. I'm at 38. Lance puts his foot back on the ground and kind of gears its attention towards you. It's like an angrily that out in the room for what should be its next meal. Anything else you want to do? Can I give him a healing potion? Can I heal him? It's too far away. You could use your bonus action if you want to use healing word. Okay, I'll use healing word.
Starting point is 02:08:33 Okay. So go ahead and roll that for him. While you're doing that, brings this... All right, so Clorota now gets its action. Yeah, Clorota. Clorota now looks wide. I've seen this happen. You hear a slight voice in the back of your head go, ah, this is complicated. As it rears back, you hear the slight echoing, screeching sound
Starting point is 02:08:55 that just manages to skirt the outside of your mental capacity. You feel like if you were any closer or opposed to you, it would be a horrible ringing pain in your head. You're just peripheral to it. It makes its attack. Unfortunately, the exterior, the Bullet, and or its mind shielding is too strong. It seems to have no effect on the creature. Damn it.
Starting point is 02:09:14 Florida! A Bullet. A bullet. Blet is the entity. Bullet. Clarence. That was his turn. Top of the round. Vax.
Starting point is 02:09:23 Okay. I think where's the laser? Here it is. It looks like I have just enough squares to go. One, two, three. Who's this right here? That's a dirt guard. Weapon on the ground, not armed right now.
Starting point is 02:09:39 Can I get to here on a turn? I can't tell. What's your movement? It's 30 feet. 30 feet. Oh, I'll use my bonus action to click my haste boots together. Okay, then you can definitely do that. Okay, and since Percy is right up against it,
Starting point is 02:09:55 I'm able to deal sneak attack damage because there's another one of its foes. Exactly. Yes, you don't get advantage in the attack, but if you attack, do hit, you can use it. So I'm going to try to strike him in his, is undibious. belly. All right. And that's, uh. Even the underbelly itself is heavily armor.
Starting point is 02:10:11 You're having to kind of gauge quickly where the plate is. 20. 20? Yes. 20 hits. Go ahead and roll with your sneak attack damage. So 20 hits. Okay.
Starting point is 02:10:19 Oh, and it would, uh, never mind. Uh, so three, I'm gonna, two. Three, uh, 22. 22 damage. Mm-hmm. All righty. Got it.
Starting point is 02:10:43 Shook. Cool. Cool. That brings this to... All right, the general is going to attempt to make it saving throw. Oh, shit. You can do that? Every time it gets turned, has a chance to break out of the... We'll.
Starting point is 02:10:58 And he does. Oh, he broke out? He broke out. He shrugs off the mental influence of the Dominate spell. Oh, no. However, he is not currently armed. He uses his movement or uses his action to pick up the Warhammer, veering anger is in his eyes.
Starting point is 02:11:16 He's still grappled. No, no, he just broke out, right? Oh, from the grapple too? Yeah. He uses the whole turn to break out of the grapple and grab this weapon. That's all he can do. Where is he? Right there.
Starting point is 02:11:26 To fight the valet or to... You have no idea. Oh, we don't know. He might seem out. He could just be reacting to the bullet. The flames and the hammer are out too, but it picks the war hammer. It's cold black steel currently. Let me see.
Starting point is 02:11:39 That brings us to... Rogg. Rog! Grug! Gid! Kid it! Look, there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one Happy, Sad, Confused.
Starting point is 02:11:52 I'm Josh Horowitz, and yeah, I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly Happy, Happy, Sad, Confused is the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers. From Andrew Garfield and Scarlet Johansson to Christopher Nolan, casting what ifs, backstage stories, and much more. Listen to Happy Sad Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. You know that feeling when you hear one interesting thing, and suddenly you want to know more? Well, that's the idea behind my podcast, something you should know.
Starting point is 02:12:27 Every episode starts with a question you've probably never thought to ask, like why people do or don't like you, why certain habits stick, or what everyday advice is actually wrong. I'm Mike Carruthers, and I talk with scientists, authors, and experts, and I keep it practical, surprising, and fun to listen to. If you've got a curious brain, come try one episode of something you should know. On the podcast app you're listening to right now. I would like to go into a frenzy bridge and charge it Clifford, the big red dog. You leap off the higher platform.
Starting point is 02:13:04 You're rushing out with your axe in the air as you come down using the full weight of your body behind the attack. Go ahead and roll your three attacks. Come on age 17? I mean, you have one dice from me. inspired you. Oh. Poppa-da. Grog.
Starting point is 02:13:19 Is it a 20 or is it a 1? You need to add a D8 to an attack roll. If you have a shitty attack roll, add a D-A to it. If you have a shitty. 17. Grog, smash right through his plate. He barely hits. Okay.
Starting point is 02:13:31 17. 19. Hits all three attacks hit. Yeah, that one hits 16 plus 8. Yeah, so all three attacks hit, roll damage for three hits. As you come now, just slamming your great axe into the side of this armored beast, just over and over again, cleaving this nice little white second of its armor on the side.
Starting point is 02:13:47 That's fucking head off, baby. 14, 21, one again. What? 22, 22. 13. Oh, so 22, 21, and 14. Whoa. Yes.
Starting point is 02:14:07 Okay. 21, 22, and 14, you said? 27? 57. 57. I don't want to do math and show you all up. All right. It's a level 9 barbarian.
Starting point is 02:14:19 So, slamming, you can see a portion of its side armor splits. And you can see a little bit of that dark, red, fleshy interior. Uh, you do significant amount of damage and leave a nice little weak point in its armor. However, it still doesn't seem to be entirely phased by the damage. And just kind of shrugs at the damage and kind of glares at you for a second. One of his eyes that was focused on Percy and Keyleth. Now, uh, looks over at you, Jurassic Park style with the T-Rex up on the side of the vehicle. Where'd you go?
Starting point is 02:14:47 Vex. Um, I back up. a little bit. Yeah, like that. All right. And I'm gonna cast hail of thorns on him. Okay. Sounds right. Right? So I'm gonna shoot like a regular attack. So your bonus action to cast hail of thorns and then you not make any type of the arrow. Go for it. Exactly. She's putting something up. You're adding 11 to it. Okay, good. Then that'd be, I'm adding 11? 18. 18 hits? Yes. So I was casting that as a level 3 spell. Okay. I roll 3D, that means I roll 3D10.
Starting point is 02:15:26 Okay, against the creature. Against 14, which is my, oh, is my spell level thing. Right. Okay. 3D10? Yeah, 1D10 for damage. Yep, go for it. Let's get 310s, please.
Starting point is 02:15:40 That's an 8-7-0. That is an 8-9. There you go. Eight. Eight. Nine. 18. Oh.
Starting point is 02:15:50 That would be 25. Wait, and I give another attack. So I'm going to do that. It's a bit. Yeah, no, no, no. Nice! All right, go ahead and roll damage, double the dice, and add your modifier of seven.
Starting point is 02:16:05 That arrow just went slow-mo. Okay, double the dice. 15. 15. All right, so what happens here is you you pull an arrow out, as you whisper a couple of words under your breath, you see all these thorny spikes begin to shoot out the shaft of the arrow. You release it.
Starting point is 02:16:20 and as it strikes in the front of its face, the arrow actually splinters sending a bunch of these thorns all over its torso, piercing an inch or two into its armor with each blast of these thorns. It kind of rears back and tries to shake itself off. As it does, you get a little bit of a look as grog backs away from it, shaking to see the woundy left. You take your secondary arrow, aim for the red soft spot.
Starting point is 02:16:38 Boom, slips right past the armored plating, doing the extra damage on the interior of its physical cell. Awesome. That's your turn, I believe. That's all your actions? Percy, you're up. Okay. Is my hand still stuck in its mouth?
Starting point is 02:16:49 I would like it to be. If you'd like to, yeah. You could have left it there. So do I have an advantage to hit if my gun is in its mouth? You are considered grappled if you leave your hand there. You can remain grappled for advantage on the attack roll. Done. Okay.
Starting point is 02:17:08 So I get to roll twice, right? Yes, you do. This is a whole new meaning to point blank. One? 19. 19, that'll hit. Okay. Okay, I spent some grit on this and did some interesting modifiers.
Starting point is 02:17:24 How much did you spend? Two points of grit. Okay, this is the, uh, for- this is the dead shot. Okay. And I also took a negative, uh, I took a negative five to hit for a plus 10 damage to this shot. Okay. And I'm using my fire modifier.
Starting point is 02:17:43 Okay. Okay. Okay. That's amazing. He's Sam is blasting right now. That's, come down, 16, that's 20, 35 points of fire damage inside of its mouth. So, your hand inside, you pull back in fire, knowing which barrel is next.
Starting point is 02:18:02 You hear this dull sound and its eyes kind of pulse for a second with intense fury and pain. Smoke just billows out the sides of its mouth and its nostrils, and it begins to kind of shake its head, lifting you about a foot off the ground painfully, but you think it's worth the deal. Well done. Thank you.
Starting point is 02:18:21 Oh, man. Thank you. I will say that ends your turn. Thank you, Gary Gygax, wherever you are. All right. The Dürghar currently seeing the situation and a change of tone go and grab their weapons. Change of tone. Shit on real.
Starting point is 02:18:41 Yeah. Everybody knows. This Durgar is going to move up back to you, Scanlan, as it sees it. You were the one that took over the general now. took over the general now. This one comes rushing in. Don't they see the big thing? Come on, I know.
Starting point is 02:18:54 There's a bigger problem, bro. Opportunists, man. And rushes after you, actually. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? All right, the attack against you, Scanlon. That is going to be a 17 versus AC. Yep.
Starting point is 02:19:12 All right, this one is actually also physically growing in size as it comes towards you. He's getting hard. All of them. You suffer. All right. 16 points of damage. Such a bummer.
Starting point is 02:19:24 As the war pick comes slamming into your side, you don't see it's coming, but you're just not fast enough and it hits your impact. You may have crafted rid of you, you're not sure. The one that's coming up against you rolls, that is going to be a 17 versus armor class. You see it and just duck out of the ways. It's war pick slams into the stone wall next to you
Starting point is 02:19:43 with a horrible screeching stone sound. Hi, hi, AC, Rogio. All right, that ends their turn. Tiberius, you're up. I'm looking in, I'm like, oh, that's not good. I look at where he made the crack in the armor. Where is that? Is that on the head?
Starting point is 02:20:01 That's in the head area right over here. Right. Awesome. I'm going to kind of motion towards the mind flare and give a telepathic wink. It is on the ground. Yeah. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:20:13 Are you flirting with it? All right, you make a telepathic wink. And I, and I have a telepathic wink. And I have. I'm going to cast telekinesis, and I'm going to pry open the metal. I'm not going to target the creature. I'm going to target the armor. The armor? Interesting thought. Okay. Let's see if... Nice.
Starting point is 02:20:31 The 17 is the DC? Yes. This good. All right. It fails. No. So here's what happens. For the effect of this, it suffers, I'm going to say it suffers about 2D6 points of damage from the tearing. Okay. So go ahead and roll that. Six damage. Okay.
Starting point is 02:20:51 So six damage. However, you have effectively reduced its armor class by five. Yes! In doing so. Ooh! And I'm going to spend two more social points. I'm going to put in a spell again. And I'm going to do a...
Starting point is 02:21:07 I'm going to do a firebolt right in the hole. Go for it. And I'm going to use my meta-magic one to empower the spell. Iron hole. Okay, yeah. All right, go for it. He has so many dice, it's crazy. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 02:21:25 Oh, that, that hits. Yeah. I have a 19. Actually, does that crit? Does there are 19 crit or does it? No. No, I got it. Usually almost 20's only crit, except for, I think he has a bonus.
Starting point is 02:21:37 Critical role, by the way. You do not in the new rules. Name of the chef. Oh, not in the new rules. It's okay. You're good and you're a fighter. and you're a fighter which means eventually you'll end up with four attacks for around anyway so you're fine I can't think that's I'm looking forward to it
Starting point is 02:21:52 yeah I know um come come come come okay and then one D damage what you got yeah where's just going on you're on deck by the way oh I'm ready a zap him as that's a zap him for one okay oh wait no no no I empowered it full full it's it get ticks in 10 damage because I guess all right cool is I'm That's right. All right. So as you pull down with the ray, the streaks down across the ceiling portion of the building,
Starting point is 02:22:22 right into the kind of fleshy exposed part of its armor. It now looks like it has this giant jagged scar inside of its head where you can see muscle and sinewed pulsing with each of its movements. You blast into it, and you can see this dark and black portion of its interior flesh is now charred, and slight embers are beginning to percolate and burn on the outskirts of the impact wound. Well done. You're gonna see where you are? Yes.
Starting point is 02:22:45 All right, Scanlon, what you got? Okay, I'm going to, I know he'll get a hit on me, but I'm going to run away from the guy behind me, run straight at the general, and just open out my arms and an outstretched big hug, and I'm like, come here, big guy, come here, and I give him a big hug, and upon touching him, I cast banishment on him and send him to another dimension. Nice! All right. As you move away, as you move away.
Starting point is 02:23:14 The Dura Gaur is going to attempt to make a reaction to make an attack on you. It's all cool for pipe. That's going to be a 13 versus armor class. Does not hit. You just hear it coming as you're walking, Buddy! That's a war pick for its advantage on its saving throw.
Starting point is 02:23:34 What's the DC? DC on your spell. Well, if I'm doing it through my cone, it's 19. I will say for this, you do not have it through your cone because you had your arm. You didn't specify. However, it still fails its saving throw. The general, as you reach up, he has this war pick ready,
Starting point is 02:23:51 pulls back its war pick as the flames burst in, and then just blinks out of existence. Nice move. Oh, he's gone. Where did he go? I don't know. How long is it last, by the way? It's a concentration.
Starting point is 02:24:09 It's a concentration. It's a concentration. All right. Scanlon George. Playing Vegas, ladies and gentlemen. Do I get a bonus? Do I get a bonus? No.
Starting point is 02:24:18 You do a bonus, actually. Okay, I'm just going to sing a little ditty, you know, to Pike just to give her a little inspiration. Just do some pelvic thrusting. A little, da-l-lid-lid-lid-lid-l. That's a flute, by the way. There you go. Super fes to play that way. His electric flute gives you a D-8 inspiration dice.
Starting point is 02:24:36 So you can add that to any attack rules. You're amazing. You're amazing. Sweet mix on your flute. I forgot I drink my water. Alright, so Kila. So, upon seeing this big thing crash in, and I'm like, oh, and I get really angry,
Starting point is 02:24:59 but I just kind of analyze him and I say okay, and then I go, and I turn into a rhinoceros. Yes! Okay, I don't have rhinoceros minnie on me, So we use a bear for the time being, but we'll know it's a rhinoceros. Why don't you have a rhinoceros? Because I was not prepared for such things.
Starting point is 02:25:20 Jesus, way to slack off, mercy. Hey, I'm gonna order rhinoceros now, okay? Are you happy? I'm gonna go to Toys R Us. The whole animal collection. You get the whole section. All right, so you transform into a rhinoceros. Now basically facing an armored beast with another armored beast.
Starting point is 02:25:37 Uh-huh. Yes. Kajoo battle. Yeah. What you got? What you're doing? I'm charging him. Make the yell.
Starting point is 02:25:47 Okay. Deep down. Go in for the attack. This Dura guard already uses reaction, so it can't attack you. So if he fails a save, I knock him over. That's plus seven, so 19? 19 does hit.
Starting point is 02:26:03 Awesome. Does save, though. It's not knocked over. Is strength save? Yeah. Oh, damn it. Okay. There's a big creature.
Starting point is 02:26:11 He does, I do 2D8 of bludgeoning damage. Go for it. That's fine. Seven and nine, 14 damage. 14 damage, already. You have multi-attack or did you get the one hit? The charge?
Starting point is 02:26:27 Well, not charge. Okay, yeah, so the charge is one hit. Okay. But you slam into it, your horn gores. You can see it actually you slam it into the side of the armor wound that Grog left and then Tiberius pried open. Part of it gets pulled back and you see a squick splatter of some sort of bloody splash as you're starting to actually pull apart its interior.
Starting point is 02:26:46 The horn has jagged in there and it finished to shrug it off the ass point. You do something good, all right. Now it's its turn. Okay. No, no, that's right. All right. It's actually 15 damage.
Starting point is 02:27:00 I always forget this. 15? There you got, yeah, don't forget that. You never remember that. I just realized that. Look at it. All right. After taking the arrow wound
Starting point is 02:27:12 and all of everyone else attacking around it, it's going to try and get a different situation. It's going to jump. It rears back and leaps into the air. Oh, Jesus. Landing right on top of Clorota and Stanley. Oh, no! He just jumped over to...
Starting point is 02:27:33 You guys all get attacks on it as it jumps away. Do we all get attacked? Yes, you do. Do I? No, you do not. We can advantage, right? No. Did he take me with? No, he didn't take me away.
Starting point is 02:27:45 Okay. No, actually, you are still in its hand, in his mouth. It carries you with it. Oh! Oh! You hit. 19. You hit.
Starting point is 02:27:54 24. Hit. 26. Hit. Hit. And I do. No, that's the three of you.
Starting point is 02:28:03 Yes, that's it. So all you guys just roll damage for a basic attack. Come on, kill them before you guessed. 24. 24. 24 damage. 17 damage, you said? Was I close enough to him to get an attack?
Starting point is 02:28:14 No. unfortunate. 11. 11, already. And 17. 17. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 02:28:22 So as it lands, all of you guys have to make a strength or Dex saving throw your choice. For Percy, Dex. And Scanlan, and I'm rolling for Clorota. Clorota fails. 20. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Starting point is 02:28:42 You can do this. All right. 20. 20, okay. He's coming back from the other dimension. I won't roll the nine. Okay. When at the floor?
Starting point is 02:28:54 Did you go again? No, I used the one that rolled on the floor. All right, so you're fine. Glorota is not prone. Dungeon Master. Is the roll on the floor count? What happened? I usually roll on the table.
Starting point is 02:29:05 I usually prefer to roll it. But it's even worse. Okay, there's go. All right. That'll learn you. You guys are not prone under the ground. and you all, you take 14 points of bludgeoning damage plus 14 points of slashing damage.
Starting point is 02:29:20 As it just lands on top of you, yes, take it total 28 points of damage as it crushes you and its claws sink into you. Clorota takes the same. Did it drag Percy through the air? I'm dying. Yes, it did. My arms are still stuck in its mouth.
Starting point is 02:29:34 Yeah, you're not, not prone, but you do take 14 points of crushing damage as its mouth bites down on your arm again for free. That's fine. It's now going to make, it's going to actually release You face you, Percy? So you're there. And your arm might be a bit busted. It turns and makes a bite attack against Scanlan.
Starting point is 02:29:53 As he does, I distract him. With my playing my charm as cutting words reaction. Okay, so as your reaction, go ahead and do that. So roll the D8. It's like I started a bit of all. Six. Okay. He rolled a 27. 27. You reduce it by several to 19.
Starting point is 02:30:22 Damn it. So even with the reduction, it's not enough. You're on the ground. And it sinks its teeth right into you. You take, let's see, getting better. You take 41 points of piercing damage. Holy shit. Okay. Okay. Okay. Scanlan, no worries. I'm just at negative 36 now. Really? Yep.
Starting point is 02:30:49 Okay. So. It's a good idea. The grog. How did that happen? He's unconscious, he's in bad shape. We're gonna get him. Scalon's looking rough. Scalman is now being just thrashed around in the mouth of the creature.
Starting point is 02:31:01 His limp, arms and legs just woof, woof, woof in the air. It's kind of just running him around and across the air. Haskin's sea, Scalien. Strings of gnome blood are being flung across the room. Oh. He's so little, though. He's so little. Pike, your turn.
Starting point is 02:31:16 Okay, so time for a cure wound. So I guess, uh, let's see. You can't even see him right now. If you want to, if you want to cure wounds, you have to touch him. I'll go, yeah, I'll go. So, okay. What's your movement? Can I just go, he's over there?
Starting point is 02:31:34 Yeah, please try to him. She's 25 speed. Okay, so you can move five squares. Okay. Didn't you get that speed boots? How close can I get to them? I can't see the lines. Do you have, don't forget your boots, Pike.
Starting point is 02:31:48 Oh, I have Spritcher's boots! Oh, I have Spritcher's boots! I have sprinter's boots. Okay, so I'm gonna use my sprinter's boots. I can, while you wear these boots, you can use a bonus action and click the boots heels together. If you do, the boots double your walking speed for one minute. So you can move ten squares. It takes your bonus action.
Starting point is 02:32:10 Okay, so then I'm so sorry, I can't see the squares. So if I can get ten, you can go one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. There is a ledge. there and he's blocking the way up. So 9, 10, make an acrobatics check to actually like jump and climb up onto the wall. Oh my god. With disadvantage because you have play armor.
Starting point is 02:32:32 Right. But what about her? Well again. What about again? Disadvantage. You roll twice and take a lower. Five. Wait, wait, hold on.
Starting point is 02:32:41 Can I cast a guided strike, which adds 10 to, when you make it? Hey, I gave you a dice. He's got a dice. He gave you a dice. Which means you're 10. Total of 10? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:32:56 That's exactly what you need. That was the baseline. You run up, it takes all the strength that you can feel. You're going to be sore in the morning. All your muscles tenses. You're pulling yourself up. With all the inertia from the run, you parkour up to the top. Scanlan's there, currently being flung around.
Starting point is 02:33:11 You manage to reach up and grab him and get in a brief tug of war with the bullet creature. Hey, get away from him, man. As you cast cure wounds, go away. Go ahead and... So it's Q1, so does that heal... No. Have it mass Q-Wounds or just doing cure wounds?
Starting point is 02:33:27 I'll just do cure wounds. Okay. So at what level are you using? Can you cast whatever you can cast? One or multiple people. Can you do it at a higher level? Yeah, I'll do it at my highest level that I can cast, which is... Let's not cheap out on scamming.
Starting point is 02:33:40 Fifth level would be... Sorry, guys. Better play it's safe and give you one D. Okay. Okay, so... Skiamp on the scamp. So a creature you touch the... Remember when I brought you back in the dead?
Starting point is 02:33:54 Yeah. Remember when my kiss healed you from that? Just throw on that out there. Which I think is 8. Yeah, so it's 5D8 plus 5. 5 is how much you're healing him. You'll be all right. My spell attack bonus plus 8?
Starting point is 02:34:07 You don't have to worry about the bonus of this, so you're just touching him. 5D8 plus 5 is what you're healing him, yes. Okay. All right. That's 3. 4. I think you did 4 times, yeah. You can you do four times, yeah.
Starting point is 02:34:27 Plus five. That was three. No, okay. 23. Plus five. All right. Plus five. That was plus five.
Starting point is 02:34:36 Are you still unconscious? Yes. But now I'm only negative 11. Wait, what? Yeah, he got. Yeah, I've taken almost 100 points of damage. No, no. You're unconscious.
Starting point is 02:34:47 No, I thought you were. No, how it works in this, this is a different from half binary. You get zero and stay there. Yeah, you go zero and you stay there. You're now up to 23. Yeah, you don't go below zero. Oh.
Starting point is 02:34:55 You hit zero and. when you're there making rolls to see if you die. You only have three chances if you roll, fail three times, you die. And if something hits you while you're unconscious, it's an automatic fail. Now you're 23. Hey, I feel great, guys. You're still in its mouth, being shook around.
Starting point is 02:35:12 Oh, shit. What is this ride? This is crazy. All right, folk, that's, Pike, it's your turn. Okay, I can't do anything. Clarota's going to get up. Come on, throw. What you got?
Starting point is 02:35:26 Clota looks pretty rough. What you got, man? Rears back. Come on now. You got to bring that mental power and that arcane magic. Let's do it. Taking a cue from the opening you left, Clorota pulls back its hand. You see a familiar spark of bluish electrical energy as Clota reaches forward, unleashing a torrent of electrical arcane energy forward into a form of a lightning bolt.
Starting point is 02:35:48 Blasting across the bow of this giant creature. Let's see. Does not make its saving throw. So that's 32 points of lightning damage. As the back of its armor is now seared, and you can see parts of its armored flesh are kind of blackened and charred and slightly crimping. Backs, you're up.
Starting point is 02:36:18 OK, so I've got enough room to run up to its anus, which I'll do. And it's got plenty of people around, so that means I can sneak attack him. Okay, as you rush past before you attack, yeah. This Duregard that was right by you that is currently grown to a larger size gets a free swing at you. No thing ain't no thing. That's going to be a 21 to hit. Okay, that hits. All right.
Starting point is 02:36:41 With its warpike, it takes... Ordeals 14 points of damage to you. Who cares? I'm saving my gnome friend. Okay. Here I go. Oh! 14 is the 25 to hit his butt. 25 hits. Okay.
Starting point is 02:36:58 This is my keen dagger. A warp will bleed. plus seven is nine, that's just the nine. There's a pencil, that's a pencil. And then we add my sneakie tag, which is six, seven, ten, fifteen, 15, 21 plus nine is 30. All right, nice. To the butt, specifically to the butt.
Starting point is 02:37:22 All right, as you go, chef, you take a moment as it's thrashing about and you can see what looks anatomy-wise to be probably where it expels whatever it eats, little whole. Yeah, right in there. You go ahead and just slash and eviscerate there. How you like me now? How you like me now?
Starting point is 02:37:35 Even back there, it's heavily armored. It takes, but you have to carve through and it, you've definitely left a lasting impression on this bullet. Puck her up, maybe. Puck her up. Hashtag armoradenae. Oh, what? Oh, in the butt. This is D&D in 2015, people, 2015.
Starting point is 02:37:51 So that's the first attack, right? Why do they get a second attack? The general, also, by the way, appears as the concentration spell was lost, as you were unconscious. I must have stopped concentrating. for some reason. However, it is right in front of, it's like, what's the, this is now in his face. So, second attack. Second attack. 12, this is 22. That hits. Okay, and that's a four plus ten, ten points of fire base damage to the button. All right.
Starting point is 02:38:20 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That'll worry. Reveration H. How you want to do this? I don't know. I want to hear. Fire damage to. All righty. That brings us to his turn. The general's turn, who now is there from the bullet sees it, looks over and sees you,
Starting point is 02:38:38 kind of sitting there with your bloody hand. It's flaming, may still flaming, swings back and goes for your head. That is a 23 versus armor class. Yeah, it's gonna hit. Okay. You take... What are you at? What do you at?
Starting point is 02:38:59 I'm at 39, I want to say? 39. Well, you take 31 points of damage. All right. Including the fire damage from the pike. It goes for its second attack against you. Oh. This thing sucks.
Starting point is 02:39:12 That's going to be a 22 for summer class. That's going to hit. It's a tank. One. You take, oh, with the fire damage. That's going to be 21 points of damage. I'm out. Okay.
Starting point is 02:39:24 Percy, being pummeled and pummeled again. No. loses your gun falls from your hand as you slump to the ground, your eyes roll back, unconsciousness and darkness. Dropping like flies. Taking you. That brings this to... Grog. What? Me? How tall is the thing? Tall? I'd say it's probably about 20 feet tall? 15, 20 feet tall? Can I climb up on its back?
Starting point is 02:39:52 It's not your size. It'd be really, really tight pinning in there. That I would like to run up to its right side. and flank it. Over here? Yeah. All right, so you run around. Which you can do because you're freaking barbarian. Alright, go ahead. You're making your attacks? Go for it. Three strikes against it. It did 21. Hit. 21 definitely hits. 16 plus 8 hits. Definitely hits. Natural 20! Oh, it's 20!
Starting point is 02:40:21 Does that mean I get an extra? Double damage. It means double damage? No, it means triple damage. Yeah. So first strike? Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. 16. 16 damage? Yes.
Starting point is 02:40:33 21. 21. Thank you. All right. Stay in school, kids. Oh, stay on the table. This is the critical now. So double the dice roll.
Starting point is 02:40:44 20. Thank you. And 10. Come on, baby. 11. 415 plus that's right. Oh, wait. No, you just would double.
Starting point is 02:40:52 You double the dice and then add the modifier. Oh, double the second one. The third one. So that's 40 on the last one. Nice. Okay. 61, 76. How do you want for this, grog?
Starting point is 02:41:02 Oh, you killed him? What? How do you wanted this, grog? I would like to chop down into the fleshy bit. And after I slide. The fleshy bit's on the opposite side, by the way. So you're now at an unarmored side. However, it's still holding Scanlan in its mouth,
Starting point is 02:41:17 shaking them around. So how do you go finish it? Can I get to its mouth at all? I could say for the flavor of this. Yeah, you managed to just barely make it over here. I would like to swing through and catch the corner of its mouth, open in its mouth wide, And then I'd like to reach in and with my teeth,
Starting point is 02:41:31 pull its fucking tongue out of its head and start thrashing inside. All right, so first you rush up with your axe, using all of the aggression, you take it and swing it, barely leaving you with a shade. You gash the side of its mouth and draw this giant wound open. As it does, you actually snap and cut through the tendons that clench the jaw, causing it to fall open and slack.
Starting point is 02:41:53 Scanlan spills out of its mouth, hitting the ground, with a dull thud. As its mouth is now open, it kind of rears back. You shake your head angrily as the froth is gathering at the corners of your mouth. You reach, you drop your axe from one hand, grab the jaw, reach in, bite down in its giant meaty tongue. Using your hand at the back of it,
Starting point is 02:42:11 you pull it and yank and you feel all the muscle tearing and tensing before eventually it comes free, and it's now dangling about 25, 30 pounds of liquid, very, very wet, select tongue meat. With your third attack, how do you finish it? What do you do after your bite? It's talking about. That's what I'm asking.
Starting point is 02:42:31 That's a good point. It's looking really rough, but you still need to get that final death blow. What are you doing with this grog? Rip him. Rhythm apart. I'm going to king Kong his jaw. I'm going to take the broken part at the top of his head and just pull it apart. Yep.
Starting point is 02:42:43 Okay. So you drop your axe entirely. The tongue's still dangling from your mouth. You reach and put one foot up into the bottom of the jaw. You're in your other hands. You push and push. You hear it crack and pull as it tenseness and is trying to push down. It has no tension because the jaw was destroyed.
Starting point is 02:42:58 You pull back and you hear it. a sickening snap as the armor plate buckles underneath to where the neck joint would be on such a creature. Eyes kind of roll back for a second, and it begins to slack, and as it does, you reach up with your fist and penetrate the bottom of where its brain would be. With a sickening, sound, it goes entirely limp
Starting point is 02:43:17 and collapses in the ground. And that's why you're on the tea. Yeah. And as it falls, the tongue that's hanging in my mouth, I look to one of the dwarves that's left, I go, who's neck? And we're going to end it there for the... Oh, please, not that music.
Starting point is 02:43:36 That music gives me nightmares from my childhood. Could we get something a little bit lighter? Some lighter music here. Are you a fan of True Crime TV shows? And what about Unsolved Mysteries? The show that jumped started all of our love of True Crime. I'm Ellen Marsh. And I'm Joey Taranto.
Starting point is 02:43:53 And we host, I Think Not, a True Crime comedy podcast covering some of the wildest stories from your favorite true crime campy TV shows all the way to Unself Mysteries. Baby, you will laugh, you will cry,
Starting point is 02:44:05 you'll think about true crime in a whole new way, and you'll also ask yourself, who gave these people mics? New episodes of I Think Not are released every Wednesday with bonus episodes
Starting point is 02:44:14 out every Thursday on Patreon. And every Monday you can listen to our True Crime Rundown where we go over the top true crime headlines of the week.
Starting point is 02:44:24 So come and join us wherever you listen to your podcast. It's ticklish business anyway You look at it Come on, we'll stick together Love movies, love classic movies So do we Ticklish Business is the podcast
Starting point is 02:44:37 Where classic film is discussed In Modern Times Hosted by me, Film Curring is Kristen Lopez And my co-host, author Emily Edwards We dive into the golden age of cinema With fun, heart, and serious expertise As published film historians
Starting point is 02:44:50 and lifelong classic movie buffs We bring insider insights, deep research, and lively debates With a variety of special guests ranging from celebrities like Holly Madison to TCM luminaries Dave Carger and Eddie Muller, and even family members of Old Hollywood Legends. Subscribe now to ticklish business on your favorite podcast app, and let's talk about Old Hollywood today.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.