Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 86 - Daring Days

Episode Date: January 10, 2022

Vox Machina get to know Taryon Darrington, and prepare for an ocean voyage!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Stop. So, before we get into it tonight, we're going to go ahead and jump at some announcements. First and foremost, we have tonight's sponsor returning our glorious friends at Luke crate sponsoring tonight's episode. Thank you so much, Lou Crate. In that regard, Sam, do you have something he was to say about our sponsor? I thought we were going to be doing an unboxing tonight. They didn't come in.

But they didn't come in, so instead I'm going to give you guys a history. I'm going to give you guys a history lesson about the company itself, who so kindly sponsors us, and about their founder, one Ebenezer Lutocrata. Born on a silkworm farm in Budapest in 1919, Ebenezer Lutocratta was a unique child.

His siblings, Clarica, Piterca, Dominocos, and Bob would always play checkers, but Ebenezer was fascinated by the box they came in. In fact, he was upset. with boxes. Did he wear briefs? No, boxers. He traded in his backpack for a back box. He wouldn't eat jelly from jars. He scooped it out of a large pine jelly box. Dick in a box? He invented that in 1930. And in 1937, he packed up everything that was special to him. One shirt, one sticker, one comic book, and one toy. Place them in a crate and set off for college. One

One day later, he was expelled from college because he did not own pants. But he had a vision, a revolutionary idea. Before people had boxes and people had cool stuff, but he dared to put the cool stuff inside the boxes. He named his company Lutacrata. In America, we bastardize it as loot crate. But history has never been the same. Thank you, Sam. Very informative.

And you guys should know that you should go to LuteCrate.com slash Critical Role. Promo code this week to celebrate the arrival of Terry and Darrington to Critical Role. Please use code Terry. That's T-A-R-Y for 10% off your first month's order. We at Lute Crate welcome Terry and Darrington and look forward to his adventures. He totally isn't the worst. Definitely not the worst character to ever appear on Critical Role. Actually, we've changed our mind. Please use the code critical role. Do you know how many people are going to go to the website and enter a Terry and they're like,

What the fuck? It's a ARG, I know it. Exactly. It's perfect. They'll enter Terry and be disappointed. It's just like... Terry's a new Sombra. My subscription went up $3. Aww.

Hey, at least it's in character. It's worse. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam. I appreciate that. All righty. So, a number of us, if the weather is with us, as a giant storm apparently just blew into the West Coast, are sending to fly out tomorrow to Anime Milwaukee. So it'll be me, Marisha.

Yes. It's going to be cold. It's going to be cold. Travis, Laura, myself, and Marisha will be out there along with a bunch of other awesome guests. Hopefully see you guys there very soon. Also, as far as the merch goes, apparently we're out of dice, right? Dice, right? We're out of dice.

Dice are gone. We even ordered a lot this time, but we're out. But what will the people do? What will they roll? Well, maybe they'll roll something extra special later. I don't know. You speak like you know what you're talking about. Oh, we all the West Coast.

Oh, yeah, let's tease. Um, roll something special. We do have We do shall have bracelets. We do still have pins. We do still have a few socks left. We still have shirts. The Gilmore shirt is back and it wasn't.

We have Gilmore shirts. We have a few, we have Strong Jaws shirts. Are you wearing yours? Nope. No. My Michael's. My Michael's. All these shirts are still available in the store.

That's strong job. This is a strong jaw. This is a strong jaw. It is. You should work in radio. You should work in radio. I'm good. That's all I got.

No worries, thank you. Firste, do you want to talk about signal boosts? I guess Amy Dallon just had her run, right? Yeah, Amy Dallin had her episode. It's great. This week is Eric Campbell coming up in the run. And you should go, br-br-br-br-br-bur-bh-bh-bh-r. We should go watch them.

You gotta stop. Yeah. Where does that end? When you stop, once you pop, you just don't stop. Oh, God, now it's a Pringle reference. Okay, go watch Signal Boost. Well done. Prinkl.

Not boosted on the Sigma Boosted, but could be. Indeed. And there's a new thing called Wednesday Club. There's the Wednesday Club. What's that about, tell us about that. So I really miss, for anybody who reads and reads comic books normally, you know that Wednesdays is when comic books get released at comic book stores all across the country. And if you're a big comic book nerd, you would go, and you had a really fun comic book store, you would go on a Wednesday night and hang out with all the other comic book nerds. and have six week long conversations on who would win in a fight,

Superman or Thor. Superman, actually, funny enough. You don't go to a Wednesday club. Well, now you have a show to watch. So now that I don't really have time to do that anymore, we thought it would be fun to just do it here with all of our comic book nerds. So Amy Dallan and Matt Key and I are going to be talking comics

every Wednesday from Noond to 2 on the Twitch stream, and we're going to, yay. New shows, new show, the Wednesday club. And we're going to try and make it fun to watch and easy if you've not picked up a book in ages and you've maybe thought about getting into comics or you had some kids and now the comic books are just turned into giant shreds of paper.

Yeah, it's not a news show. We're not talking news, we're just talking fun, cool comic book facts and our first episode is gonna be origin stories where we talk about why we got into comic books and then starting the week after, we're gonna be talking about cool characters, team-ups, classic runs of books, everything and everything. It's gonna be great.

No crossovers. No, no crossover. Special guests. We will have special guests, and not so special guests on the agent. It's great. So yes, Wednesday Club will be talking about comic books. It's going to be great. It's exciting. Check it out on Wednesday.

Also, there's a game called For Honor that just came out that a couple of you assholes are in. Oh, it's on the shelves. We've been playing it for weeks here. You can play it as well if you go to your local shop or download it or get it at a store. I already said that. You can play Samuraiz. Oh, we have no Samarise here. You can play knights, hey, or you can play Vikings. You can play Vikings. What kind of Viking are you? The male raider. It comes out Tuesday, February 14th on all game be classes. That was yesterday. That was Valentine's Day. I didn't miss. Our Valentine's Day consisted of me making chili and then us going to Menchies.

And farting a lot. There you go. It's a good time. It's a good time. You got out of the house, though. That's true. Yeah. We watched Jurassic World and Suicide Squad.

You did both of those? We wanted to get caught up on our, like, questionably bad movies. That's a bunch of stank. Yeah. No, we had to sit quietly for an hour afterward just to take it all in. My favorite is Rick Flagg, just shouting exposition through Suicide Squad. That's his purpose. Including Katana's needless arrival.

Anyway, this is not, this is a game about D&D. I went to Eric Carter World and met some graders. It was good. That's awesome. That's a better Valentine's Day. You know, honestly, you two, having the time to sit down and watch two bad movies, when I don't have the time to watch one real movie. Here we go.

It's offensive. That is offensive to me. You have the joy of children in your life. The beacons of hope and light of the future generation. You have, you have, he's so thirsty. He's just dehydrated. They'll be holding your hands, you know, in the later years. It will help me when I'm dying.

That is true. Which is slowly off the way. For as many of them are just going to be somewhere in a forest loss screaming to each other. Help! So that's our future. I guess it's time to climb this mountain and throw myself off. Cultural heritage of ours. This is my child.

That's what I've accomplished. Okay. Last but not least, a quick little note. Due to the current difficulties with green cards, and people that are in the country who weren't born here. One of our fantastic crew members, Auburdeen, unfortunately, is having to leave and go back to Switzerland. This is her last episode of Critical Role.

She's been a tremendously amazing member of our team, and we've loved having her here, and we certainly know that this is not the last we'll see of her, but this will be her last show for a while. So I just wanted to bring her out and say hi to the community. Oh, yeah, come here. We've been amazing. If anyone would like to sponsor slash marry her, she could stay.

And she could stay on the crew. Just a quick little marriage. We all tried. Everyone here at all the end, we did our best. But we're going to miss you terribly, and you've been amazing. I know. You've been great, man. She's been, like, working on talks. Mockin' us. Yeah, she's going to kick an ass.

Like, kicking ass. Seriously. Really? Yeah. Everyone, send your love. Give your hearts out. And, yeah, we'll look forward to seeing your adventures. as you progress and we'll bring you back as soon as we can. We'll find a way. Yeah. I love you. Thank you. Thank you, guys.

Let's bring the show to her. Yeah, perfect. We're going to Switzerland. I'm okay with that. Guys, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Welcome back, everyone. So, as we left off on the adventures of Oxymie, You had just finished destroying the longstanding reign and terrorizing assault of the chromoconclave across the face of Tal'Dorei. As you finished that chapter defeating Raichon and collecting the remnants of the Necremancer's sanctum of where the final battle took place, you returned with the unfortunately fallen corpse of your friend Scanlon Shorthaled. You succeeded in the resurrection, however, upon returning from Vasselheim, Skidlund, coming to

It was discovered that Scanlan was in a place in his life where he needed to take some time with his estranged and recently discovered daughter. And arguments ensued and agreement was had that he would step away from Voxna Machina to follow his own path. The group took a period to mourn and then began to decide what their next layer of plans were, what loose ends still were held out there and you made your way to the city of Enkarel on the continent of Marquette to return the right hand of Ripley, the person responsible for assassinating a member of the scar bearers within the Debt's Respit Tavern in the city. As you made your way past the bazaar towards the inn, on the outside, you saw what appeared to be a large humanoid structure built of iron and metal

walking on its own behind a very well flashily dressed blonde gentleman with goatee and a, for lack of a better term, braggardly demeanor, who managed to weasel his way into the company of Ox Machina and to continue his adventures alongside theirs as his robot friend, Doty, continued to archive it in his book of his adventures. And that is where we left off. as you guys step into the relatively empty interior of the debt's respite at this hour with this individual, Terrian Darrington, in tow. Is that really his name?

Still his name. We agreed to bring him along because he's paying us. That's an important fact. That is a very important fact. Okay, thank. Hey, uh, T, uh, Terri, uh... Friends call me Terry Jumbo. Terry Jumbo.

No, uh, your Jumbo, I'm Terry. Jumbo, I'm Terry. Can you spell out your name for me on a piece of parchment? Uh, sure. Do you, do you write? Frequently. T-A-R-Y-O-N, D-A-R-I-N-D-R-I-N-T-O-N. No, I asked you to spell it out on a piece of parchment. Oh, you want me to write you?

I'm a study handwriting. I understand. A scholarly mind is not a thing to shirk. Doty, write out my name in the finest calligraphy and give him a page, will you? And the hands seems to pick up speed and start rapidly whipping across the page. Tares it out and presents it to you rather forcefully just over Tarian's head. And it is pretty fine calligraphy, actually. Not that you can appreciate it.

It just looks like a goddamn scribble. Scribbles. Hmm, yes. Aha. Thank you. You're quite welcome, Gemma. Oh my God, behind you. What? What is it?

There's nothing. I'm always looking out for this group, though. I thank you. Are you the leader of this? of this collection of individuals. You are the biggest. Your leader isn't with us right now. Yeah, just the biggest. All right.

And can you, have we already begun our mission that we're on right now? Oh, we just got here, and then you started talking. You're right? I'm getting drinks for everybody. I assume we've got a table. The entire establishment pretty much is full, except for a couple of individuals

that you remember before who are kind of masquerading his patrons, but each, while they have the drink in front of them, they haven't touched it, and they have their hands on the side of their sword belts. At the bar, there's nobody currently manning it, and as this conversation is occurring, you do see the familiar face of Treve Bonebreaker, the Bronze Dragon-Born, who is the scar bearer head here within the facility, turn the corner and enter the room. Looks like he's wiping out what looks to be a large tankard. as he kind of like gives it a shine, looks over. Oh, look at that.

It's like they all return. It's not often you see folks who are at least trying to sit to their word. Well, that's us. We've been here before. Promise keepers. Yes, dear. Oh.

We're trying to stick to our word at the very least. Key word is try. Mainly by avoiding death at this point. I would recommend that. Yeah. Yeah. Vax? Do you have?

Who has? Grog. Or maybe at... Oh, God, don't point to me. I forgot we were even here. And you said Vax. No. Because why would Vax have anything?

I'm the one with a bag of colding. This is one of those instances where it sounded halfway between Vax and Vax? It was not. It was a Vax. I will definitely, I'll stand behind that. Like a long egg, like a Vax. It was not a Vex. What's your name? I, uh... I'm a bit confused.

I'm confused at what's going on here, so what's your name? Treve, what's your name? Ah, Terry and Derrington? Ah, you may have heard of me. Friends call me Terry. Well, you will once my book comes out. I don't think that... No.

Who's this fucker? We don't know. We don't know. He just sort of found us outside, and he had, honestly... Just ignore him, really. How about that? We're not entirely sure what happened here.

There's some fancy garb you're wearing. Oh, yes, quite fancy. Good to know. Deadly as well. Anyway, okay? It means for it. So what? Are you here to talk?

Grub? Drinks, are here to talk? Should we just bust it out here, or do you want to talk in private? He does a quick scan to the room. It's more people than you, might as well. Should I dig into the bag of holding? Okay, I'm gonna just reach to the bag of holding

and pull out the hand. Okay, and you find the, the mechanical digits of Ripley, some of them partially bent out of the combat. Oh, yeah. I still don't have it. I'm just trying to. We have the human hand as well. We have the mechanical hand and the human hand. We took both.

We figured we'd have options, if I recall. Oh, that's right. I put the regular hand in, did we? We took both. We took the robot hand and the, I mean, to be fair, I was dead at the time. So I, oh. Terry, we work on very strict rules. If you fuck us, we take your hands. You have more than one hand with you right now. You wouldn't even... You wouldn't even...

You don't want to see in the... Lots of body parts. Pretty gruesome. Wow, okay. Yeah. You have to ask. Just tell me when to start swinging the sword. Though you had to...

Oh yeah, and it like extends... Sure. Do you pass over the hand? Sure. While this is happening, you kind of slam it down on the table. The giant bronze, dragon-borne claw where you're just... Dragon-Born claw reaches out and grabs it and rakes it forward, picks it up, and the fingers kind of fall limp in the grass, and he turns it around in his vision. That's a strange contraption. Something looks like Anne.

She was a strange woman. So you're telling me, this is the one that took out the mistress of Shara. I put the retort pistol on the table, so she used one of these devices. Right, right. Very well. Takes the hand and begins scraping the pistol back with him as well. The pistol was just for show. It wasn't a gift. All right. Well, at least the mistress can lay at rest.

Why, thank you for your deed. I mean, kind of like, spins his finger in the air, and one of the men at the table gets up and walks out of the room and exits to the front door behind you. I won't pretend that we didn't have our own reasons for it, but we are grateful that you recognize that we respect your authority. Take some balls to come back here and not have anything to show for it, so glad you got balls. All of you, except for that one.

Giant balls, yeah, his, I'm sure. We haven't checked his, to be fair. They're here, quite lovely. Well, I'll call off my associates. The hunt is not in void. You're free to wander without worry. Thank you, Chief. We'll probably only be another day or two in town before we head home. I will.

Thank you. Thank you for your time. We're out. Did we not get anything for that? We got our lives. We got someone to remove a debt upon our heads. Yes. Oh. Yes.

Could we see the debt or was it like magic? It was a metaphorical. Magic, pure magic. Magic. Sure. Glad we did that. Stay for a drink. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, let the big guy play. Sure. But I want to keep an eye on the bar, because I still don't trust our environment. Certainly. It's been kind of low key here for the day. Terry, do you drink anything?

Uh, wine, mostly, yes. Does Doddy drink anything? Doty. He does not drink. Then that's two for you. I'll have two of your strongest whatever's for blonde-chin over there. Anyone else? Yes, please. Round these. And he goes and gathers up a number of small mugs, tankards. It's ramshackle in here. This, this, this, this,

This essentially acts as a base operations first and a tavern a distant second. So it's barely functional really as a comparable establishment for fine drinks and atmosphere. But it works. Heineken's coming, basically. Yeah, yeah. Rolling Rock. The drinks are passed around. Some small talks, maybe the tree, discussing just how things have been pretty low-key since Sharo was killed and you guys last left.

There hasn't been an upset. There was apparently a vision of some sort of a creature at the top of the Surrelian Palace a few days ago. But people are wondering if that was a sighting of DeVosah and some of the rather intense historians and younger believers in the myth of DeVos. I've been up in a tizzy, and Dreeb just kind of shrugs it off and takes a Doreen goes, what we need is another bigger

fokken dragon. Not for a long time, one would hope. No, right. So, Terry, I have to admit, I'm curious, where did you get your friend there? Oh, I made him. Did you? Yes, I did. Really? What's his power? How is he powered? What runs him? I'm just sort of curious.

No offense, but I doubt you would understand the inner workings of which is complicated as this. I, that's an interesting, that's a very interesting, that's a very interesting, thought you have there. But still, I would be just delighted to hear your attempt to simplify it for me. Well, all right, I will. Are you familiar with levers, things that move up and down? Yes. Yes. Yes. Some of those. There's also a machine called a pulley, where you can apply force and it will sort of amplify it with a wheel and a string. I've heard it, I think I've read about such things. Some of those are in there.

Also, an incline is another simple machine. You didn't build it, did you? I did build it. Did you build it? Did you build it? Did you build it? Did you build it? So, one would assume there's an access panel somewhere on him where one can make adjustments or otherwise or fix him if he breaks out?

Pretty fancy technological speak. Thank you. Where would the access panel be? I would, I, I, I, I, why do you care to know? Well, just in case you're knocked unconscious by, let's say, someone sneaking up behind you, hitting you with the bottom of a sword. That what happened? Doty has my back, right, Doty? At which point Doty are kind of, clams them right behind and is now kind of dwarfing Tarian

size with the broad metallic shoulders and just kind of, Doty, did he build you? No response. I'm a bit of a tinkerer. I can show you a few things if we have a quiet moment, not in public. Can you? Holy fuck. That would be excellent.

I look forward to the lesson. I look forward to giving the lesson, yes. I'm so curious if we could, it was Ermagird, right? I'm sorry? Ermogurd? My name? Ermigurd swear. Yes.

No, you misheard me, little elf boy. It's Terry and Darrington. Fucking don't like this. I'm curious, where do you hail from? Are you from here? No, not from... Matt, we discussed this. Where am I from? I'm not from. You mean an adult? You gave me three options, and I was like, I don't know what any of those things.

Oh, Mississippi. The necessary are currently equipped, motherfucker. Oh, shit. That's great. That's beautiful. Okay. Let me go look up the information that I e-mails you. I can also look at all.

Who is that guy and what is email? Yeah. Doty's got email. You were from the city of Deiastalk and the Truscan Empire of Wild Mount. What he just said? Wild Mount, you're from Wild Mount. He's from Deas where?

Deistock. Deastock. Deer. In the Truscan Empire. Deastark. Wild Mountain. Truskin? Yes.

Have you been? I haven't been, no. It's quite lovely. My family has quite a reputation there. I live on a vast compound with beautiful orchards and... Wait. You're not related to the Briarwoods, are you? I'm sorry, no, I don't know them. He doesn't look like a Briarwood.

Have you ever heard the name Briarwood before? I have not. I'm sorry. Is Antler's okay over here? She's quite a while. She seems a bit drunk already. She always does. All right? That's true. Especially these days. Bring back the history lesson though. So, Pampered, young, everything you could ever want. I wouldn't say pampered.

All right. Those were my words, go on. I had a normal upbringing, private tutors, classes. Right, as you do. Same, same. Right. I wandered through the halls of our extensive library many nights. Read many books about adventure.

Yes, keep going. Exploration, magic, alchemy. Is that code for masturbating? I mean, you know. Yes, yes it is. You know? It sounds like if you're a upbringing Percy. No, yes, it was code for masturbation.

My family runs a very prosperous business, and yes, I have received some benefits from that, but I am a self-starter in my own mind. Oh, God. And I have gone out on my own secret. my fortune and The universe is glass. Oh no. No.

And record my exploits. Did you purchase that armor all on your own as well? Did mommy and daddy buy it for you? I purchased it myself with my money that I can withdraw once a month. It is quite lovely. But it is mine. It's good.

It's close. And I, it belongs to me. Barry Dumbo, do you have a most dangerous conquest in that book that Dottie has? I have, Doty. I have a list of adventures that I am currently going through. Some of the adventures include rescue a maiden. Any maiden? Oh, geez. Transport a treasure. Escort a muckety-muck. A revenge plot. A classic dungeon crawl. Oh, this one, I'm looking forward to, solving a mysterious riddle.

Ooh. The old-fashioned double cross. Teleport, haven't done that yet. Really? Shopping mission, but really, I can wait on that one. Slay a dragon. And there's more. But the list is extensive.

I'd like to conquer various beasts, rescue different people, find different treasures. It's going to be quite an adventure. Shopping is not what it's cracked up to be. You just wipe it off the list right now. Shopping? While we're watching. It's low on the list.

It's a low, it's a low, it's a no problem. You can just erase it. All right. It's funny, that whole list, it seems like we've done all of it. I know. Have you? Several times. Oh yes.

Also. How many dragons now? Five? Hard to count. Six. You haven't. Really, have you? Oh, yeah.

Oh yeah. An actual dragon. Several of them. All the other. Dragons. What was it like? Uh. Terry.

Do you feel like we look healthy and sane to you? I mean. Don't hold back. It's fine. You can be honest. Healthy and... Greetings, adventurers. Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles.

And that means it's a brief period where it's only 75 degrees instead of 95 degrees. I'll take it. And that means I've been outside a lot. more walking around occasionally galloping after a toddler hopped up on juice boxes traveling a bit you know the vibe and after doing some spring cleaning my wardrobe I got to say it looking a little bit sad I want clothes that can keep up with me and my son but updating my wardrobe every spring sounds pretty expensive so that's why I wound up signing up for fabletics as a VIP it let me overhaul my

springtime outfits without obliterating my bank account new VIPs unlock major savings on that first purchase so trying new fits feels way more doable. When I signed up as a new VIP with Fabletics, I got 70 to 80% off everything. It made it easy to grab a few new pieces without overthinking it. And the quality really surprised me. Everything feels premium and soft and breathable, but you're not paying those premium prices. What I like most, though, is how versatile everything is. You've got stuff you can work out in, but also wear out. There's matching sets, lightweight hoodies, joggers, teas, you name it. The kind of stuff you can throw on in the

morning and not worry about later. When I'm at home, my favorite thing to pull on is the oversized hoodie. It's so comfy I could just live in it 24-7. It's perfect for walking my dog on like a chilly night. But what I'm out and about, I've really been loving the ribbed Johnny Collar polo. It makes me look like I should be taking a high-powered meeting by the pool at the White Lotus, but hopefully with less murder involved. I don't know. It's insanely comfortable. I highly recommend it. So shop now at fabletics.com slash critical role to get 70 to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Take a quick style quiz and be sure to select critical role when prompted to unlock your 70

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I'm saying yes you seem healthy you certainly are decked out in adventuring gear which is quite attractive sanity I can't be a good judge of yet I've just met you you seem like lovely creatures I'm a young 28 You and I are the same age. It's weird. You look older, but you act younger. Oh. That is strange.

Youthful exuberance, I suppose. Hmm. What do you hope to accomplish at the end of completing all these tasks, you know, slaying a dragon? What do you want on the other end? The other end will be my masterpiece, my book. Doty has been very, very good about it. very good about taking down all of my adventures and exploits. And at the end of it all, I know we just met, but may I share with you some of my working titles?

Please. Oh, please. Another round. I've got it. I've got it. I've already on it. He's like, oh, don't worry. I'm loving this. And he's just pouring all their glasses and shoving him forward to you guys and are crossing his arms. Maybe some meats, too, if you have any of cheeses. We ain't got meat. Oh. I want to keep an eye. I'm keeping an eye out for any kind of questionable behavior.

All right. Perception check, good. That's a huge dye you just rolled. It's a newbie. It's a newbie. 17. Okay, good enough. Continue.

Which is why it's greedy. Maybe you fellows could help me pick a title. Here's what I have so far. We talked about a brief. That was a good one, but I have some other ones. All right. Terry on with Terry and Derrington. The terrific and terrifying tales of Daring, Taring, and Derrington.

That's pretty good. That is all right. Fifty Shades of Terry. Bravado! The T. Darrington story. That one seems appropriate. Zen and the art of robot manservant repair. No, no.

Thumbs down. Adventureing for dummies. The things they tarried. The blonde hair of courage. The Adventures of Huckle Terry Finn. The Odyssey. Oh, that's classic. Oh, no.

Seen it. Terry's daring do's and daring do not. Dungeons and Daringtons. Oh, wow. Oh my God. And this one just popped into my head. Critical Patrol. I'm a drag her up to the same.

I'm a drag her off to the side. Why are we doing this exactly? Why are we bringing him with us exactly? Keelah just gets a nosebleed and she's not sure why. Do you think he can pay 50K an hour for realsies? Hey, Terry. How much money do you have in your account right now? In my account?

In your account. I would not care to say we're in public place. You can whisper it in my ear. Here's what I need to know. Are you full of shit? and you don't actually have any money, or do you have enough to pay our fee? Does this helmet look like it's something

that didn't cost a shit ton of money? It looks like it did, but for all I know you spent all your money on it. All right, well, if you don't want the money, we can break the contract right now and I'll go my way. How about you just show me some money, and that way we can be sure. All right, I will. Come with me over to the business. corner.

All right. Well, that's really good stuff happens. There's a nice little Jerry and wire right there, especially considering the date. Very appropriate. Tabard corner. Are we away from... You guys have stepped away from the rest of the crowd as you guys watch. I am watching this, I guess.

Terry kind of like puts his arm on her shoulder and leaves her in the corner. Don't touch me. I'll reach into my bag of holding and pull up just a handful of coins. A nice fistful of... pristine platinum pieces in his grip. Just a whole bag of that. I want to look at one. Yeah, if I reject that money.

Don't flick money at me, dear. If you want to keep your hands. I'm sorry, Little. Is this? You hear the scratching sound of quill on parchment as Doty has arrived behind you and is now currently cataloging the entire conversation. Does it look real?

Go and make an investigation check. I'm gonna use my gold dice for this. Fucking A! Yellow and black? That's not the cup of a carpenter. That's only 15! Okay. You've seen quite a few gold platinum pieces in your time.

This seems fairly legit. It seems like it's been minted recently relative in the past maybe 10 or so years. It has not seen a lot of... seen a lot of antiquing across its surface, and most of the coin is branded in a way that emanates from the Truscan Empire. It does appear to have Wild Mount origin. Lovely. I believe you. Congratulations on being born into privilege. Yes, well, I didn't choose to be, and I am trying to lead my life. Honest and true, humble and brave.

every day of my life. Wonderful. And I thank you for allowing me to travel with you and perhaps go on a mission. I mean, is this mission going to start at some point? It was just completed, didn't you notice? I'm sorry? Happened right under your eyes.

Mysterious, isn't it? And walk away. That's true. She's actually very correct. Hey, Percy. We're not near them, right? No. Hey, hey. Remember when we were at Gray Schoakie, and we made all the guards, like, audition to be guards?

Yes, that was quite a while ago. What if we had, like, an audition for Terry Jumbo? It's not the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I love it when I do that, right? I know, it's quite good. Well, before. Let's finish up our business here. Are we a business here?

Well, I think we should talk by... Oh. Does anyone not understand where we had a man? We just did it. We just did it. We just did it. We were also going to go to the Sillilian Tower and have a quick conversation. Yeah, no, we need to do that. We need to do that. But we did just finish a mission. With Jaman? Yes, we have to talk to you. I am not taking him to jump on. Uh, probably why. You know, I can stand outside with you. We're like special, you know, trained and proven ourselves warriors who got permission to see.

How about I audition them outside? Well, you go have your convoy. Like we make him beat somebody up or something. Audition who? What are you talking about? I've seen we should initiate old Terry J. Like we do back, back, Greystone. That's what the letter, that second word starts with. Yeah, thanks. You did good, God. Impressive. Yeah, good job.

I thought you were going to learn G's. Yeah. What? Terry G. I would. Let's, our business concluded, we actually have some business at this Rulian Tower, so we should all perhaps head there at this point. I, not to be a pest, but...

Too late, but yes. I paid for adventure. Oh, we're heading. There will be adventure. Okay. Well, you didn't actually pay for anything. You never paid. I understand.

We also didn't offer access to every contact and person that we know on this globe, all right? Understood. You're a tag-along. Inevitably. And happy to be one. Plus, these are like several subtle steps, right? We don't just chunk you in the furnace right away. We got like temper you a bit.

Yeah, that makes total sense. Besides, things just seem to happen around. around us. Inevitably. So if you just hang out long enough, I'm sure someone's going to want to beat our ass over something. Like most boring day ever now that Terry's here, like we don't do anything fun at all. Set of a crap fair. Critical crap there. We all sit down and start naming. I will. I will. Go to the post office, check our PO box. Laundry.

Magisting. Magazines. Oh, yes, we would love to head in that direction. Yeah, cinnamon tower. That sounds weird. I wouldn't live in that world. I would also like to quietly on the head phone, I would really like to know where this machine comes from because I'm finding it just a bit creepy.

And I would love to get that information out of him before he disappears. That's roughly eight and a half feet tall. So just a bit taller than me? A bit taller, yeah. It's a little larger than that. It's kind of hunched forward as it walks. It probably can stand taller if it was.

Is he kind of like Fastbender size-ish? Not as broad. Not as broad. It's tall, but it's kind of lanky and its construction. It needs to be thicker at the feet and the kind of arms and fists, but the actual structure itself is proportionally pretty thin. Go ahead. It's grew. I vaguely remember you talking about, we were talking to someone.

I don't know who it was, but you were talking about plans you had for sort of a walking, automated, something. Dabbled in motion. Am I imagining that? No, I've talked about it. It just always seems so impractical. And now I'm looking at one and I'm irritated. Yeah, I can see that. I can see that.

Irritated or was inferior the words you were looking for? Vexed. Vexed. That's a good word. It is a good word. That's her name. To be honest, you seem like you got your gooly's burnt there. Just from a conversation a little bit.

He didn't build this thing. and I'm worried about who did. Okay. He didn't build this thing. Percy. What? Well, you're the ex-bo. No.

What? Look. You can turn this to your advantage. You can turn this to your advantage. Brain drain him for all the knowledge you can. I think we've already done that. All right. I think that was an oyster we've already supped upon.

I trust your judgment. Yes, I cut off weird. I'm going to flip on the cloak, by the way, now that we're well out of that area. Is anybody following us from the Scar Bear's? The eye that you've been coming out, you don't notice anyone keeping chase or following you. Walking with Keelot, I don't know anything about any of that shit.

But in my experience, talent and skill have nothing to do with whether you're a douche-nozzle or not. He seems like a schmuck. Oh, he's definitely a douche-nozzle. I think that's the first time I said, douche-nozzles. I think it actually is. He called you antlers. Yeah, he called you little elf girl and little elf boy. I don't like him.

I like my, what's wrong with my antlers? Nothing at all of the way. I know my hair is shorter, so it makes the antlers look bigger, which I was concerned about. They're very attractive. I'm sure you've heard. Is it okay? Okay.

It's like your best feature. Thanks. I like your face face. It's more than your analyst, but both are nice, dear. No, definitely the analysts. All right, you know what, let's move off this conversation. Okay. You guys have made your way.

Oh, sorry. No. I just wanted to ask Terry. Oh, yes. So you're, your dote? Yes? Dottie. Dottie.

Doty. Doty. Duty. Got it. Does he fight, or does he just write? He does what I tell him to do. Is he competent in a battle? I would say so.

Has he ever been in a battle? Don't he has been in a battle? Does he look like he has any battle scars? Glancing over and getting quick look. Make a perception check, actually. I'm just doing smart? Roll your new dice, redeem it. That should have done it.

No, no, no, at least it's not a one. 20? Okay. Glancing over and kind of giving a once over of the giant mechanical creatures, just walking a few feet behind you. You can see there are a lot of signs of repair. You can see there are a lot of places where bits of metal have been reharmored, elements have been patched over,

and additional layers of armor have been added to it. You do see what appear to be some scrapes and areas where it looks like it has sustained various weapon attacks, that whole circumstance. So yeah, it looks like it's seen some scuffles in its time. Doody looks worn. Doty. Doty, my apologies.

He looks warm. worn, like old, like far older than your armor. Oh, well, that may be because in battle, I am deft, fearless. You're deaf? No, deft with a T. I can dodge blows uncannily. I can anticipate with what my opponent is going to do ahead of time and dodge out of the way. I don't see that about you.

Yes. You seem very dexterous too. I think I am. Yes. Did Doty raise you? Is he like your nanny? No. He's a mechanical construct that I made.

He did not. You made when you were two because he looks like he raised you. Doty did not raise me. He is a mechanical construct that I built when I learned how. Does he cook? He does not croak. He does not croak. Does he clean? He could clean. Keep you warm at night? No, he's cold as ice. How old were you when you built him?

Well, I'm 28 now, so that would have been 27. He's a year old? He's a year old. And he only talks to you? Nope. Doesn't talk to me. Oh. He only listens to you. He's the best, really. Fearless, strong, big. and excellent penmanship.

He's everything I could hope for and a friend. Silent. Were like pen pals a thing for you? Is that why you like penmanship? I mean, no, I don't think I ever had a pen pal. Did you have any friends ever? Or siblings? I had tutors.

I had the best teachers. Oh, wow. Wonderful. No, no, don't all. They were wonderfully smart. and engaging. But my best friends, I think, were the books I read. What were mom and dad like?

They're still alive, there's no word. They are wonderful people. My father is a very talented businessman. He can be hard at times. He can be, he has great expectations for everyone he meets. My mother is. My mother is a saint. She's perfect in every way.

She's a wonderful person. And yes. Really? And they're still alive? Weren't killed in some crazy raid or eat my dragons or? No, they are eagerly waiting me to arrive back at home and tell them tales of my journeys and adventures. What's your father's business?

He is a businessman. A businessman? Yes. subject with you. No, not at all. It's just, again, I'm not sure how well versed you are in financial transactions. Oh, fuck all, but I thought you could give me the layman's terms. He is in real estate. He buys and sells properties, charges rent, taxes. A landlord. So bored right now. He owns a lot of things, places, and makes a lot of money off of these places. Interesting. Interesting. I will be forthcoming with anything that you ask me. I have nothing to hide. I come from money. This is clear.

I have nothing. I have nothing. Yeah, make an inside check. It's terrible. No, no, don't use luck. You shush. But I will use luck if I want to use luck. Don't use luck if I want to use luck. Hard to read. For many reasons.

I'll say. I also want to take a good long look at that robot and see if I can... Okay. Investigation check. Okay. 13. What are you trying to ascertain about? How old it is, how it was built, where it was built, just to get a sense of it, like looking over a car, a classic car.

Best that you can tell from its construction and your understanding, there is a lot of ingenuity in it. and its design, but it exists and moves through a combination of decent engineering and enchantment. Oh, thank God, okay. Feel better. You can see very, very faint engravings of various runic glyphs that are similar to some of the ones that you saw.

On Fastbender. Yeah, on Fastbender. All right. I feel better already. Thank you. You go restored. You guys make your way to the San Herald District, and there you can see the distant towers of the Surrelian Palace, the large central one that leads up into the chamber of

Jamon Sa'ord. As you approach the outside, you see the familiar faces and armor of the hands of ord there guarding the exterior of the palace walls. As you approach, one of the guards steps up with their same kind of brass and sapphire and blazed armor, and one of the them approaches and steps forward. I'm sorry, do you have business at the palace? Yes. The symbol? Scanlan.

That's what I thought. We got it back, though. Did he give it back to us or did he not? Right now, right now there's a big screen to our left. Are we talking about the flutes? We're talking about the... We're talking about the... There was a symbol.

I think he still has the symbol, doesn't he? I have his flute. I had the flute because I picked it up last. Yeah, that doesn't have a symbol on it though. It's not the same thing. We do bring news though. Fuck! We are friends to the men on top.

Jamon. I misspoke. Jamon sold. We need to think him. Voxmachana is here. He knows us. And return this and I show the flute. Maybe they'll recognize it. The guard takes the flute.

I take it and I kind of like, Dust the ash and drug use off of it. As best you get. The guard takes it and looks out of it, confused. I'm pleased to be patient for just a moment. Of course, be pleased. Be pleased. Turns around and walks back up the stairs to the front of the palace,

enters through one of the side doorways and about two, three minutes pass. I'm sure. Once they know that, I will be. The guard just keep a view out. And then eventually you see an older woman in familiar ceremonial robes exit from the doorway that the garb went into. This is the Grand Maven Agmeshaga, who you met and escorted you up into the palace originally. She walks up with her, you know, her brace that's still jingling as she kind of

steps down the stairs, her long robes, kind of trailing behind her a good like two or three feet. Her headdress still has all the brass quills that streak down past her shoulders and into her mid-back as she steps up. It is good to see all of you once more. I do not be able to see you once more. I do not I believe we have met. I'm sorry. What is your name? Terry and Derrickton. Nice to meet you. Be pleased. Terry and Darrington. A friend of Voxmachina, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. So, Jemone would like to extend their greetings to all of you and respect in the wake of the news of the destruction of the conclave. You've aided in closing a far too lingering chapter in the history of Marquette and the ruin

of the Cinder King. Thank you. You're welcome. We were just wanted to make sure that they were aware that all of the dragons had been dealt with and that the conclave had been completely vanquished. This information did make it to the ears of Sejimon. We thank you for your time. Of course. Anything else?

I guess not. Well, could I take you aside for a moment? Of course, my dear. I'm just gonna... walks alongside you as you pull her off a little bit. We have in our service, in Amon, a wonderful man who has been of great aid in battling the conclave as well. And we learned recently that he was expelled from Marquette

due to crimes in his youth. And was wondering if we could maybe speak in his name and his regard. to you to clear his name. I can see what I can do. What is the name of this gentleman? Gerrit. His last name. Sir, Berthuson.

And... Hallworth. Hallworth. Lanchard. Jarrittalworth. Hallworth. You have. Hallworth.

Yes. Of course she does. She has a lot. She has a lot. You did not even have to wikipa. He had a name. Jaret. Howlworth.

Yes. Okay, I will go and take this into the archives, discover and see what can be done. Thank you so much. If you find out anything, will you please send word? Yes. Should we send it to Iman as well? If you could send it to Whitestone. To White Stone. That would be wonderful. Okay. Very well. We have not sent anything to White Stone before. We will find the way to this.

It's an up-and-coming city, very prominent, on Teldore. It's on the move. On the move. And would you send Jemann, would you send them my thanks? I will do this. I apologize. Jemann is not currently taking audiences. Totally fine. But I will continue to pass this word onto them.

Thank you so much. Thank you very much. And good day. Be pleased. Be pleased. As the Grand Maven turns around and heads back up the stairs, the guards take their place, and the palace is at rest. You must be sick. Probably. Yeah.

It's been gone wrong. Lots of travel happening. It happens when you travel, I hear. It's true. Yeah. Anytime you fly. So I think that concludes this little jaunt. It might be back home now. Oh, geez. Well, I think it's about time that we see what Terry Jumbo is worth.

I'm sorry? One of your things on your list, right? It was like to get no kerfuffle. There's no kerfuffle on the list. Riffram, Barzoo. We are going to have an adventure. Is that right? So many.

All of them. Buddy boy, you're buying in for shit. You're not really ready for, yes. All right. We're going to know like how. So far we've delivered a dead body part to someone and had a brief conversation with a guard. Totally didn't. Is this what you all are about?

We're gonna take a little time for a day. And then we're gonna take you to hell. All right. How's that sound? Are you speaking metaphorically? No, like literally hell. There's like seven or eleven of them. All right.

Wow. Are those together, close? Very big numbers broke. We're taking this one to hell then? Might be a good trial run. I don't know, do you want to put him through his paces? Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I mean, I want to save traveling the Osmit Sea and heading to the water ashore if I went Pike is back. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. Let's take this fuck at a hell. I don't know what you're talking about.

No, we're speaking insanely literally right now. That's what's impressive about it. I... We... We are going to hell. All right. And you are taking you with us. Shouldn't we see him fight first?

Yeah, let's bring him home. I would hate for him to die immediately. Yeah, we want Grog to run him out like Labrador. Do I see any large, intimidating-looking creatures or just walking around where we are at the moment? No, not in the city, Grog. I'm not talking to you. Make a perception shake.

He only has to listen to you at home. I know. Twelve. Best that you can tell here in the Santa Herald district? No. Most everyone who wanders around here are noble dress or part of the hand of board. You see that fruit merchant over there? Yes.

Killed many, many people. Oh, well, maybe I should pay him to take me on an adventure because... Jesus Christ. This is about as fucking boring as I can. can get. I might just hit him. I might just attack him. Hey, you know what?

You can cross off your list. Teleportation, because that's what we're about to do. No, really? That's true. It's on my list. It's literally on my list. I know. Wait, well, let's go.

All right, all right, all right. So we're about to... Whitestone? Yes, get your big boy pants on, Irmigurd. Yes, Whitestone. It's Terrian. Come on, duty. Pshoo!

All right, so. as you find a familiar tree that you can utilize the transport over to Whitestone. Terry, you watch as the center of this tree's trunk suddenly seems to split open with divine energy and on the opposite side. You watch this tunnel progress about four or five feet within, where it just looks like the striations of the interior of the tree trunk before it emerges in the other side and to another town square, currently in the middle of an evening. Doty, take this down. As the trees split in front of me, I shove it. I shove it. I'm really...

Oh! Six seconds! As you all tumble through the transport via plant spell, you all emerge on the opposite side of the sun tree in the center of White Stone's courtyard. What do you wish to do? Oh my, oh my gods! Where are we? What's going on? Oh, what happened? Where am I? Is this a fantasy world? What happened? Are you feeling nauseous?

What? How about now? Wow, that was exhilarating. It's like my body fell apart and came back together again. It's amazing. It's exactly what I've never had like. Or it was like walking forward. Yeah, I never had that sensation ever before. Walking forward.

I felt a great force behind me, pushing me forward. And then all of a sudden I opened my eyes and was in a new place. Doty, take this down. Today is the greatest day of Terry and Derryant and Denton's life. The day that he experienced the wonder of the gods, that's enough for that. Oh my God. Did you guys do that?

Bit my drink. He thinks I'm a god. Doucher. Dush-nozzle. Dush-nazzle. That's right. That's what it was. Sorry, I'm just learning it.

What time is it here? Actually, technically, I don't think about it, it would still be day, because you guys left in the morning to Ankarel. And you've been there for a few hours, so yeah, it's like early afternoon at this point. Oh, fabulous. All right. So we're back on home turf, right? Yeah, we're going to take this guy to a field and kick his ass? Yeah, I kind of would do.

Can I go find Jarrett really fast? Yeah, it's easy you have to find. You head down to where the makeshift garrison, which is now seeing reconstruction and actually being turned into, and formatted into a decent functional garrison within the town itself. A lot of the guards are out there running through their drills in the morning, and you can see Jarrett, or in the afternoon, and Jared is in the process, running them through. It looks like ranged combat training. And as you approach, Jerich kind of looks over and watches you walking up from distance and kind of gives a wave. Hello. Hi.

Hi. So everything seems to be in order here. I have to say, I am very glad to know that we have no more dragons for quite some time. And he's recovering, he's healing, but there is noticeable like scarring on the side of his neck and it looks like he's going through the process of recovering from the Thorac Battle, but he's doing much better than the last time he's on. How are you mentally? Uh, perfectly honest. Very happy to not be anywhere near that terrible city. I never thought I had the sense for the slower part of the countryside, but I don't know.

I've come to like it here in West Town. It is quite nice. Well, you're welcome to stay. I don't believe. We are planning to rebuild our home in Amman as well. Yes. like to be. Really, you employ me, so it is more up to you. But I mean, I kind of like the change in temperature. I do too. It's a bit chillier up here, noice. Well, in case you're

wondering, we just came from Marquette, where we spoke with the Grand Maven of Jamonso Ord, spoke very highly of you, and she's working on getting your name cleared. Really? Well, she said she would. I don't know what you did, dear, but hopefully it wasn't anything too terrible. Serial killer. He doesn't look nervous at all. He looks kind of elated. He's like, well, thank you.

I hope that comes to a fruitful end. I mean, I've been living here long enough where it's not a huge deal to me, but it would be nice to occasionally return. See home. Yeah, you know. It's nice. Thank you. I appreciate that. Of course.

You may not have heard, but resident Bard has left us, possibly for the time being, possibly for more. So you won't be seeing his face around here. I'm sorry to hear that. I only tell you because I saw you speaking with him several times and thought you might want to know. This is good to know. I look forward to his return. That being the case, can I ask a favor of you? Of course. Could you hold this? And he reaches back and pulls out a small pouch and puts in your hand.

I don't feel comfortable holding onto this. What is it? It was requested by your small barred friend, and I just, I probably should not have a person. Requested? What is it? like components of a potion, I don't... One that you should not probably drink.

What is it, Jared? It's sued, it's illegal, you should not. It is dangerous. It's drugs. Yes! Yes, it is! Let's talk about it in front of everyone I'm training. Yes, thank you. I put it in my pocket. Don't do drugs.

Don't do drugs. Scanlan was doing drugs. Jarrett, you sold Scanlan. Old Scanlan drugs? No. I procured them for him at his request. Is this why you're expelled from Marquette? No.

There are a number of reasons. Mm-hmm. Cockfighting. How long have you been found this to him? This was only the second ship. I did not want to do this. He is a very convincing person, and you look like he was going through a hard time. And look, I understand that.

I warned him. He knew full well the danger is involved. He's a much stronger man than I am. Who was I to tell him this? And he's very persuasive. His, when was the first time you gave it to him? Ah, not more than maybe a week or two ago? Thank you.

Thank you for giving them to me. Yes, I just, it was burning a hole in my pocket. I wanted to hold onto it. Sorry. Sorry. I appreciate your service, Jared. I appreciate your understanding. Get better, keep training.

Yes, I should do that. All right. He turns around. You'll not heard nothing! Nice, you crossbows, don't slap someone in the back of the head. All right, focus up on the targets, and you hear him begin taking a few volleys off in the distance as you walk your way back at the castle. The rest of you, as you walk through Whitestone, you take you take you down. and you watch this beautiful, wonderfully, slightly backwood city.

Hey, okay. It's amazing. It's charming. Yeah, and quaint, really. Yeah, and there's a castle. It has a castle. Tourists must love it here. We do quite well.

In the on season. Yeah, yeah. And years ago. Do you mind if you like come to the outskirts of the city with us? It's a big crampus festival. I literally know nothing about this city. Great, yeah, come with us. Max knows away.

Max, were you, you know, the spot? Beautiful parts of the city are actually, is the countryside, the woods around. So it's kind of drab in the middle. I paid for adventure. Yeah, it's out there. An adventure you shall have, right, my friend. So can we find our way to like a fairly open

and not populated part of White Stone? Yeah, your best bet probably at this point be to probably make your way to the unclaimed gardens in the back of the castle. I was going to say, the reclaim, yeah. Because it was, I mean, most, for a while there was no greenery back there. The processing and disposing of the access acids led to the green fume that was billowing behind the castle when you first arrived here and destroyed most of plant life. Through your aid and the people who kept the castle, those have been filled in, and it looks like the castle grounds are starting to recover. There is now a, a, a

a fresh growing season of green back there. And that is closed off, it's protected, there are guards around, and it is away from the general populace of Whitestone. Nice. This looks like a great place. Now, if you- The war is over and both sides lost.

Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch ticks down in real time.

And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job. This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make. This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s. And man, it is so good to be back. Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow. dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day. See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark.

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for growth and greatness, because your next breakthrough is just one episode away. This is Mick Unplug, the voice and face of modern leadership entrepreneur and self-improvement. Let's get started. You want your first tasted adventure. You need to bring Doddy and come over here. I have to whisper it because it's very secret. Um, uh, Four Eyes. Shall I trust Jumbo here? Because he seems a bit shady. Yes, no, you should trust him with your life. He's very trustworthy.

I will roll an insight check. Frog and I are just waiting. What do I add to it? Your insight skill. Yeah, that. I've forgotten how to play. Dungeons and Dragons. 18. Travis, I would like you to roll a deception. Wait, is it Travis or is it me? Is it deception? Oh, I know, it's from you, sorry. Deception? Well, technically, yeah. It's kind of both of you. Well, come on.

So Percy at advantage then, right? You can trust grog for some things. You can. Go on. Plus, I do want to take it. I feel like Grog is getting far more trustworthy. 12. You get the sense that maybe not all the information is there. It's not a lie.

It's not a lie, but it's definitely, it speaks of a half-truth. What's going on out here? Secret stuff. Are you ready? For what? Where's Doddy? Doty. He's right behind me, as he always is. Nice. So put out your hand like this.

What's going to happen? And take your other hand, and you either either make a boulder, a piece of paper, or a pair of shears. Right? And we do it on three. To be perfectly honest, I'm not entirely sure what's happening either. You've never played boulder paper shears? That's the best thing you've ever said, Marisha. That just went right up in the middle of it.

It burns. That's not playing. That's not playing. Of course I've played bolder paper shears. Right, right. It's just to see who goes first. Ready? One, two, three. I'm the third one I passed in large with the Titan stone knuckles. And I sneak attack, Ermigerner.

And I smack Doty. I'm dead. Pumelside, Pummelside. The kind of him. Okay, and you're going after Doty. With just your hands? Yeah, just a backhand. Okay, both of you guys will attack.

Oh my gosh. Mulder-framed shears. Mulder parchment shears. 24. Natural 20! No! Why do you want a natural 20? You're going to kill him!

No, no. Just a little. Okay. Go ahead and do your sneak attack damage and double it because you roll the natural 20. You, go ahead and roll the backhand. It's one backhand. It's just a backhand. I would say it's one damage plus your strength modifier.

Why did you get that amazing armor? Okay, so nine damage. Okay, so nine damage. My strength modifier is eight. Yeah, so be nine. I made it. I'm mad. It's like the best trodhi is going to use his reaction to attack Vax.

Okay, yes. Right? Because when attacked within five feet of me, he gets to react. To defend me or to attack? To attack the person who attacked you. See, this is a real good way to figure shit out. figures it out. This is true.

This is smart. All right. Thanks. After this round, I actually, the attention basis of this and for the arrangement for this circumstance, I want to take a break and come back this so we can give this the real feel we want to. So after this round. All right, so after, okay, so you do seven dame, you backhand doughty.

Not damage, yeah. And the head kind of turns to the side, the tome falls to the ground, kind of open on the ground so the pages kind of hold a little bit. And the metallic creature is kind of back to you, stands up and now it goes like a full six inches taller than you, and then rears back with its fist. And right as it's about to swing, it sees from behind Vax creep up and whack it. So how much damage? 86.

86 points of damage. What? What? Yes. Great. Great. Plus I'm enlarged, so I'm probably taller than doing that. Wow.

Yeah. So even at the last point, you're still probably a good foot and a half, two feet. larger than Dodo. Let's say I hit him. He looks back and he's looking at my nipples. Yeah. Oh, that's cool. As you're growing. What happened? Goes to punch towards you. However, out of the corner of Doty's eye sees this half elf show up and whack him right square in the center of the neck and spinal column, and then the fist just goes wide and slams towards you. That is going to be a 23 to hit. Hits. You suffer 16 points of bludgeoning damage. As the giant iron fist of

Zoddy just wang clangs into the back of your head and part of your ear and you hear you feel the ringing in your skull from the impact. Look at there's a thing. You, Terry, and fall to your knee and find a large portion of your vitality and breath and just general awareness knocked out of you from one single blow from nowhere your eyes go white for a second. This is the sound that I make. Oh!

What's panic. So. Do I get a shot? The wind knocked out of you filming this. That was a surprise round, because you were not aware of this circumstance. We're going to continue combat after this break. I'm getting in on this. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Just to where everyone who's watching, you just watched your boyfriend cold cock and innocent person. I watched him walk up behind him and do it. I knew what he was doing. All right, just so you're aware. This is a part of our box blocking a hazing. This is what we do. This is pretty fucked up, you know.

So fucked up. All right, we'll come back in a few minutes. I'll take a quick break to continue this combat. We'll see you here shortly. Hello everyone, and welcome back to Critical Rule. So last we left off, in the middle of the White Stone Courtyard, two members of Voxmokian and decided, as part of the hazing process, to assault their new temporary party member.

When you put it like that. How about literally the third time we have done this? I know. I'm not surprised by any means. It's just, you know, I am surprised. I wasn't expecting it, but it makes sense. Sounds like us last week. Yeah, exactly.

Or everyone. That being the case, anyone who cares to get involved in this, I need you to roll initiative. Am I there? Wait, you guys are all doing this to me? No, I want to be in initiative just to make sure that I can actually make sure that. Would you have gone with the world to stay back? I want to have to-

Well, I was coming to talking to Jared, so it's a very up. Am I walking up as it's happening? You'll be walking up towards the cast? Yeah, this is a twidding to Vax thing on a walk. So there is no Percival, no Keelathan. Oh, I'm in. No, I'm in. We didn't try to ditch them, I'm just saying.

It wasn't like an announcement. Yeah, so Vex is the only one is not there. Okay, so for those who are present and wish to be part of this, well, initiative, what have we got? So we have... Eight. Oh. Oh. 25.

You should... You shouldn't bother. Sixteen. It's over. Big 11. 18. Okay, Percival, you're up first. As you watch the Grog backhand this mechanical entity in the face,

while Vax appears from the shadows and whack! Just beans the back of Tarian across the center of the neck and spinal column and he falls to his knee making this horrible, horrible sound. That's my friend. Come on, man. Pick it up. Pick it up. I just draw my sword and stand on the sidelines preparing for whatever is about to happen. Okay. Grog. Did Doty go down or no, he just stood there looking at me afterwards, right?

Yeah. Doty chung! And just looked back at you slowly. Where is... Unblinking mechanical face? Where is Terry Jumbo? Right here. A good deal.

About five feet from you. I look at him. I'll hold up my hand and I say, Show me what you have learned. That's all you do? That's it. Okay, it's Grog's turn. Keyleth.

Um... Okay, first and foremost, I'm going to create a wind wall around us, like an arena. Like an arena? Yeah. Okay. Suddenly, the wind kicks up around. The wind kicks up around the leaves and various fallen parts of the greenery around here. Kick up into this torrent around you as the wind is now creating a barrier around the battlefield.

Um, yeah, I turned to person and I say, man, you know, I almost feel bad for the guy. Give him a boost. Should I give him a boost? Give him a boost. Should we give him like an incentive? Nah. All right, we'll start with a boost and I give him a healing word. Okay.

We'll give him a level two. Level two, all right. I guess you're worth it. 2D4 plus six. Oh, you got real lucky Terry. You got a four and a three, which adds to be seven, plus... Plus six for your wisdom, so it's 13. 13 points.

And then I say, come on, Terry! What? Oh, I'm so bad. What is the wind blowing? I bring my hand around the back of his head, and I'm going to use my action to cast lay on hands and dump all 15 hit points into the back of his head. Then I'm going to use disengage and hop back away from him and say, oh, no, before I hop back and say, we're a bunch of fucking assholes, and this is all you are going to get with us, are you sure? And then use disengaged to roll.

And you move back away from him? Yeah, but I have my movement plus, yeah, yes. How far? 30 feet. All righty. Yeah. Okay. That ends your turn. Tarian, what do you wish to do? First time. Hands shaking. Body, quivering, blood everywhere. No, out of the nose. Massive headache. You did 88 damage to him from behind with the back of your dagger. There is blood out of his nose, out of his ears. I'm not a master assassin.

How can I not go fuk? He has weak capillaries. He has weak capillaries. Understand. You critically hit him from behind to do 88 points of damage that would have killed a regular human being, or at least put them in a better. He's not like bleeding out, but he looks rough.

Did I make it clear that I was trying to do this to Sam and not Terry? No. Sam, what are you doing? I run, I, shit, Grog gets an attack, but I'm going to- Actually, Grog is not directly in Amelia with you, so Grog does not. I'm going to counterclockwise around Doty, all the way around. All the way around here? Yeah, all the way around, yeah. So I'm facing Grog and the others in a sort of a cone pattern.

And I fumble, I'm fumbling on the head, on the helmet, trying to find the right gem to pull out, and I pull out a diamond. out a diamond and I pluck it out of the helmet and I go, and I will cast prismatic spray. So just past Doty, as a familiar and previously prevented blast of Rainbow Arcane Energy comes shooting forth from Tyrion's hand, hitting Grog, Keeleth, and Percival. I need you all to make dexterity saving throw. Yeah. Awesome.

I get a advantage on that. You do because of your cloak. It's a, it's a, what's saving throw? I'm so sorry. I was... Was the DC on that? Oh, on me? Yes. On the helmet. The helm is 18. Okay. 13. 23.

Wow. 20. Wow. Guys. Both of you guys have the damage. Grog does not. Give me what you got. Show me what you got.

I'm going to use my reaction to swallow part of the cell, so I'm going to take half damage of his half damage. Okay, gotcha. I'm going to go ahead and do this. Can you do the charging thing? Mm-hmm, but I'm fully charged. Oh, that's cool. That's cool. Oh, you just as long as I have a reaction.

Right. Do I roll? Do you roll? Actually, you get to roll if you want to. So it's 10 D6 damage. Maybe you should roll. Okay, I did roll for that one. Okay. 10d6 what damage?

I'm gonna figure that out here in just a minute. I'm so excited. 41 damage, however, against you, Percy. If you like vaporize me, I'm gonna be real pissed. That is, uh, 41 points of poison damage to you, have reduced to 20, reduced to 10. And your charges are still full, regardless. Keeleth, you take 41 points of fire damage, half.

halved to 20. So 20 points of fire damage as the red beam hits you and the flames just burn across the front of your hair blown back from the blast of the heat. Percival, you feel the sickly ray of the poison splatter past and cover your skin with this kind of semi-translucent poisonous liquid. Grog, you take 41 points of cold damage. I have resistance with my new exalted knuckles. You do. So you take 20 points of cold damage from that. So the beam subsides and you see them all blasted with it, but they're still standing, perturbed by.

Oh, you've been still alive. Oh, shit. And Doty's at the ready, just like, what do you want Doty to do you do? Very nice. New Kids got game? Well, first of all, as my bonus action, I will cast sanctuary on myself. What the fuck is that? What is that?

It protects me from things. We'll see. Not a lot. We'll see. I love it. It's a new one, right? They're all new, friend. All right, so sanctuary on you, and what do you want telling Doty to do?

Doty, I will say, Doty, save me, save me, hit the big guy. And it's going to go in for a giant fist hit towards you. That is going to be a 17 to hit. 17 to hit. That is my AC. Alright, that hits. And then after the fist comes back and smacks you in the face, cross the jaw for 9 plus 5, 14 points of bludgeoning damage. Beautiful. The hand grabs the front of your clavicle, pulls back, and attempts to headbut you.

That's a natural 20. Nice! I love it. And that is 14, that is 19 points of bludgeoning damage. So half to nine. That's terrible. That's right. So 19 points of bloodsening damage.

Yeah, so 19 points of bludgeoning damage. As Doty just slams you right in the middle of the face, you feel the nose kind of from the break in the blood getting gushed from your nostrils from the headbut. All right, that ends Doty's turn. Sanctuary's on you. Next up top of the round, Percival. Mm. You know, that prismatic spray was impressive? That was very impressive, yes.

What are you going to do? I don't know. I think I'm just going to enjoy watching this for a minute. I'm going to hold my attack until he pulls out another object of any kind. Because you're holding action until he fiddles with an object. Yeah. Okay. That brings us to a grog. Right. That was a pretty good hit.

And now I'm angry. And I rage. Okay. The bonus action rage. And I walk up so I am within me. melee. Actually, I'll go opposite of, yeah, on the other side of Terry from Dodee. Okay. I don't get an attack of... No, no, I want to be on Terry opposite.

He wasn't, you weren't in combat with him. Yeah, no, I want to be, I want to put Terry between me and the big robot. Oh, I see. So you go, so you go this way. Yeah. Okay. Um, great. You, uh, I will say Doty does get an attack opportunity on you. Yep. As you pull out of the way, that is a nine. That does not. I'll hit you. Nope. Just too slow and too wide as the rage kind of instills you with adrenaline. Damn it, don't do better!

All right? And as I look down, dribbling out of my mouth, I say, Is that itch? Oh, God. That's your turn? You're not gonna kill me? Okay. Keyless.

Should I make this more interesting? What haven't we tested yet? We haven't really seen them dodge yet, right? I think we should see him dodge. See how well he can dodge. And I throw a fireball, pp-p-p-p-p- Right next to Terry. Next to Terry. Okay.

I don't want to mess up Grog. Just Terry and... Make a wisdom-saving throw. Make a wisdom-saving throw? Yes. Why? Because... Because he has to do.

You find out afterwards. The fuck did you do. I've got tracts. Sanctuary. I got... Oh, sanctuary. Against spells? Even though this is an A-O-E.

Any attack or spell that targets the worded creature with an attack, so yes. Any attack or spell? All right. So, so great, but luckily I got really high wisdom. So 18. What's your spell DC, Terry? My spell DC is 17. Okay, so yeah, go ahead and roll your fireball damage. Tara, I need you to make a dexterity saving throw.

Ow! There was like a little twin. You said you should have Vax work that out, please. I think there's no. What do I do? Dexterity saving throw, please. Oh, that's not gonna go well. I just get somebody to work on that.

I think it's Terry. You, that's an 11. Okay, go ahead and roll damage. You don't make you. Oh my God. Wait, who's on my book? I have your book. Fireball.

And I needed more than you, you get nothing. I need to know what Fireball does. 8D6 points of damage. What is it? What is it? 8D6 points of fire damage. 8 D6. Yes.

I got it. One. Where am I on my walk up? Can I hear this going on? You hear the distant, as you're walking up towards the front of the castle, you see suddenly this blast of multicolored arcane energy just out from over at the castle wall. Take off running. You start running through the castle? As fast as I can get there, the way I know to get there. Would it be faster to go broom up and over into the courier?

Probably, otherwise you're in a... Okay, so you immediately take the broom, slam it under, and begin flying at dash speed. It'll still take you a couple rounds to get there. to get there. And as you begin to crest up, you see a fiery explosion in the middle of the courtyard now. I make sure I take off my hat. Okay. 34 damage. So he did not dodge them, right? No, so there's 34 points of fire damage. Yeah.

Okay. You're still Vax. Alive? You're still alive. He can work on his dodge. I take both daggers and I shove him on my belt and I start, I'm going to start circling down I'm looking at the map, yeah, that way, and just start talking. Terry. Terry. Who's talking?

This is, it's the elf boy. This is what we do. This is what we're going to be facing, all right? Guys, we're fine, we're fine. This is enough, that's enough. You sure? Are you sure you want to play with us? Because we're going somewhere very dangerous very soon, and they did not play nicely with me.

We're about to go to hell. with someone who did not deal fairly with me. Several of us have already died. I dropped the wind wall. And as you come up over the hills of the outside perimeter wall of Castle Whitestone, you watch as the wind that's whipping around slowly subsides. And there in the center of the courtyard,

you see the rest of your friends encircling Terry and Darington, who is currently on one knee almost and looks a little worse for where. You can come along and buddy Let me tell you something. If we get in the middle of the shit, I will protect you, but it is going to be rough. And they're not gonna call off their attack,

like we are. Are you sure you wanna write this book and come with us? Can I cannonball trink it into the middle of it? Sure, in the middle of this conversation, you watch out of the corner of your eye, Tarian. Not a Tarian at my party. I know, but he looks over, because they're all facing him,

and he looks up and see, you just arcing over the top of the wall and suddenly there's a flash of dark energy and a large bear and armor just rolls out and just breaks into the center of everyone here as Terrian's kind of pulling back and now roars kind of happening I step away for five seconds and everybody's at war no no we're playing Yeah, no, we're playing. This is great. We're just giving them a little trial run.

Isn't that right, Terry? Isn't this great? No, this is not good. He's fine. Are you changing your mind? I'm not. I can't do this. I can't do any of this.

I'm not, I can't. I'm sorry. Oh, wow. I'm not a real adventurer. That was a story I told you. I know it was very convincing. But I haven't been on any real adventures ever. We knew that as soon as you said you wanted to rescue a damsel.

I know that you thought that I was an adventurer. We never know. I know that you all look at me and you just see the armor and the handsomeness and the bravado. The armor. And you think he has it all. He has everything that we want. But it's a lie. It's a ruse.

Can I land? Yes. Trigate is still kind of holding this aggressive stance to the rest of the, like just the vicinity and looks a little more confused and sits down. Yeah, I think we're fine here, Trinkett. You noticed we didn't make a lot of people cry. You made him cry? We make a lot of people cry. What the fuck happened?

We thought we would just give him a little. taste of where he's going to make sure that he was up to it. We told him we were going to go see HOTUS and defeat him in the Nine Hells, and we wanted to make sure he knew. So couldn't have this happen in the Nine Hells. We'll look at him. There's no crying in the Nine Hells. In all the Multiverse, and we're going to let him smack into that for his first time.

Come on. Terry, you would die. I, can I be real with you guys? Oh, we're ready. All right, all right. My sister's gonna get everything. All the money. The whole business, the compound, the villas, everything.

He's giving it to my sister unless I prove myself. All right? I just came out here to prove myself to my old man. And I know that if I do, he will respect me finally. I'm joking. And I can't, and I kneel. Oh, son. Oh, sorry.

I've walked over. Daddy issues. That's all we had to hear. That's all we were waiting for. Come on. I kneel in front of him and I start massaging where I fucking beaned him as I was like this. It stings a lot. No, no, I have very deaf fingers.

Honestly, if you would have led with daddy issues, we probably would have lost them. I think we would have just taken you right. taking you right on. Because fathers can be awesome. They're so awful. They're so awful. He doesn't like me, and he doesn't like the books I read, and he doesn't like that I like fantasy novels. I take you a gentle...

I don't like anything about me. I don't think this is a dark mirror. I don't know how I feel about this very dark mirror right now. To a gentle headlock and I turn to my sister and say, ah, this guy. Aw, this guy. Now I like this guy. I've raised my hand above my head. Wait, Julie, what are you doing?

What are you doing? Are we not finishing this? No. No. We just learned that Terry is an ugly cryer. You can't beat him over the head. Trinket's head pokes just into frame to you, Terry, and he goes, Oh, no.

He looks like Juliet is all right when he cries. It's okay. Look, that was terrible. That was terrible, tough love, and I'm very sorry. I think you should come with us. What? I think you should. I can be like an apprentice.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no. You guys are so powerful, and I'm not. Lemmy. Do you know something? That fucking gaudy hat you're wearing? I would have no idea how to harness the power of that hat. Really? I don't know shit about shit.

All I know how to do is hit people in the back of the head. That's the one skill that I have. You know a lot more than that. I do. All you lack is experience. Really? Yeah, but I really am a little worried he's going to die in the nine house. Well, I'm worried that we're all. We're all going to die in the house. Is there somewhere a little less scary we can take him? Yeah, there's other stuff we need to do.

I mean, I guess we can go ahead and head to the water, Ashari, that should be fairly calm. Terry, have you ever passed out from drinking too much? No. Have you ever been unconscious? only when I go to sleep at night. Oh my gosh. Come in to meet into a bloody pole before we light him. Look, we're all fuck-ups. We like people who show their vulnerabilities.

No, I'm brave and strong. No, no. Somebody likes a dick. Well, or a douche nozzle. There it is. I can't do that for a third time. Sad, cowering, Honesty has won us over. Let's get you a beer. Would you like a beer?

No, I don't drink beer. Would you like a glass of wine? Yes. We have wine. We have a lot of wine. Some of it is quite good. Really? Really. Because the stuff we had in Ankara was really gross. I didn't want to say anything, but... No, we know it was gross. It was really gross. Yes. It had no terrois. Sometimes, sometimes we must sacrifice for the adventure. No! We have wine. I know. I just wanted to taste his wine. No, that's fair. So has Doddy been in a fight? Dolly.

But for the record, you now look over and Doty has been writing all this down. You are the worst person. I love you. Doody. No. Why? Just pause for now. No, but seriously, was he a nanny? It's okay if he was, I just want to know.

I mean, honestly, we like. We'd like you more. We like fuckups. We like fuck-ups. We're a fuck-ups, so you want to be a lot. If you're honest. Doty is my best friend, my only friend, because he listens to me and understands me. And at night, when I play my characters, he plays with me.

What's he what? I play combat, and I pretend to be some of the characters I've read about. read about. And he pretends to be the others. I'm going to kill him. That's really wonderful. So you want to be an actor? That's cool, man. No, I want to be a hero. And I just haven't had the chance yet, because my father says that I should just be focused on taking over the family business,

learning financial things, and learning how to shake down a customer. And I'm so much more than that. No, there are other ways of being a hero than being an adventurer. There are a lot of ways you could be a hero. Tell me one. You could be a philanthropist. Yeah. People who spend a lot of their earnings and people who are more privileged like you

who help people in less privileged places. There are many ways they help people in need. Do they write books about philanthropy? A lot of books. A lot of books. No. Yeah. People generally like them.

them. But the stories I've read of adventure and daring do and bravery. Much cooler. Much cooler. That's boring. Jumbo gets it. I promise you none of their dads leave the adventurers money to their daughters. It's always to the sun.

First of all, I like to suggest a mantra. I don't know if you've ever tried it. It helps for me. It has in the past. Fuck you, Dad. That's one. Well. You know what I mean.

You can have in third place. You could have me. You can have me or any of you killed. We'll see. The other thing is, you've done the impossible. Which is? Well, I've taken a shine to you for some reason. Do you want to shake off the child's play and do the real thing?

Very much. The truth is, you never stop being afraid. Being brave doesn't mean you stop being afraid. It means you learn to compartmentalize it. and you just live with it. So that feeling you're feeling, you're not gonna lose that. Okay, but how will I survive in battle? Well, healing potions, like people we look out for each other.

Hide behind your giant robots. This guy absorbs damage, so stick by him. Stay clear if what you do is cast spells. Don't get up in the fray. I can cast spells and so can vex here. It's through my antlers, so respect the antlers. I do. I do. They look very powerful. Respect.

Something about your eyes make me feel ashamed. Wow. I'm sorry. Oh shit. That is a new one. Let's go get a drink. What a team? Wait, hold on. This guy is getting a drink. We're getting a drink.

I'm gonna shame and we're sober. I think something must be done about this. We got him so close to the break, right? I feel like, okay. Shouldn't we just introduce him to the deep end so he can say he's been there and then we bring him up? What, like knock him unconscious? Yeah. Please don't. No, no. It really, there's something to be said for it. Why don't we do it with wine? Yeah, yes.

We could do a little role play exercise, like in your stories. We have a magnificent library. If you really... Oh, yes. Oh, good. If you really, okay, full disclosure. Time we had another nerd. It's true.

Full disclosure, Terry, there aren't many damsels you have to rescue in the wild. I've learned mainly because mainly women in the world have to be tougher. So that doesn't happen very often. But if you want, we can make pretend and do a little thought exercise. exercise, and I'll pretend to be in distress, and you can rescue me if that'll make you feel better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he just has to vanquish me. He has, but you had to vanquish grog. Yep, all right, let's go get drunk then.

Okay. Okay. We haven't had, really haven't had a barn burner since we got back from the Big Doe, you know? No. We should get your sister, we should get Sean, we should get Allura and Keema, and anyone who's in town. Let's have a good drink. In the morning, we'll set off in the next leg of idiocy. Yeah, you know, Terry, there's something you don't really know about.

We've just, I mean, it's really complicated. It's hard to explain to you, you're an outsider, but we have just lost someone very dear to us. It's very complicated. You know, and maybe we're dealing with shit that is hard, so I'm sorry if we push you too hard. I think there was benefit to be had from what just happened, but we're in a shitty head state. Dear friend is gone, so apologies.

I understand I haven't really experienced loss of that type before, I mean, but I want to understand. And I thank you for your honesty with me and for not holding back. Did I at least cause you some harm in the battle? Yes. I thought you would go down in one shot and you were still standing. It was pretty weak, actually. I still feel a little ill. Yeah. And look, you singed a little of my hair.

That's good, right? Yeah. All right. To be fair, we've killed dragons. So the fact that you actually managed to hold together is actually quite impressive. I mean, clearly we've been fucking with you a little bit, but you have ability and see and that's not bullshit. Yeah, and the rest just fake it till you make it, yeah? Yeah.

That will be you. I didn't see any of it, so I'm not sure. It was really great. It was really great? Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you all. I'm sorry for deceiving you before.

And I promised to do better and to aid you in whatever way I can. Please teach me your ways, and I will learn what I can. Oh, man. Did you build, Daddy? For heaven's sake, yes. I did. I believe him. Let's open him up and figure out if he's lying.

No eye. Grog. He's just, he's fucking here. It's all right. It's all right. Let's go get drunk. Yeah. That's all we do.

Yeah. All right, I hang. It's been too long, are you kidding. I hang back just a little bit to collect myself. Just try to dry my... Just try to dry my eyes and I say to Doty, Doty, just delete most of that last chapter. And take this down.

The battle of draw, Teryan decided it was better to lie than tell the truth and embarked on a new adventure, pretending to be their humble intern when in actuality They were working for him. End of chapter. I love it. Get him to the deep end. As Doty follows you, you guys make your way into the castle. Wine bottles are brought about, and a raucous evening of drinking is easily found.

The bar of burning you're looking for. Sean is able to be mustard. Jarrett. Kima is still back at Amon and actually Alura is in town briefly to retrieve Pike, and this Pike comes in and she kind of, he says, Hi, apparently there's still a lot of recovery that's needed in Iman, and they need kind of an all-hands-on-deck circumstance that anyone who's trained in healing, so I may have to go help with that for a little bit if that's okay.

Oh, man. Yeah, of course. I mean, don't, don't go, don't go to any crazy hell places without me. Let me know before that happens, please. No, right. We would never. what they're planning on doing. No, Terry, what did we say about Lange?

They just said that they're taking me to the hell or something like that. We won't, obviously, if you don't want us to, Mike. We're figuring it out. I mean, try and at least let me know. Pike, I have to eventually go visit the water ashari, but I didn't want to do that without you. It's fine, go.

I mean, I don't know much help other than just getting you there, but there's plenty of people that can, you know, helm a ship and get you across the sea. Is there any advice you can give? Um, hire a good crew. Really? I was but one of many and everything I learned I learned from watching other people. You might learn more than I did. Okay. I step away with her.

Yeah. How are you? I mean, you're heading off to Amon right out of Scanan left. Does this have anything to do with him? I used to distraction, to be honest. You'll be fine. You'll be fine. It's all tying up blue sense. And I, you know, I'm more needed helping people that really need what I can do right now. I understand.

It won't be long. They're gathering a lot of great healers. I know Keeper Yeninan's coming along and we're going to be doing some people, some real good. Might even bring the love of my lady to a few people. Her light can definitely heal a lot of wounds and spirits, so. All right, I give her a big hug, and I whisper in her ear. You don't always have to put on a brave face, dear. She pulls back from you and kind of patsy on the side of your face. Yeah, I do.

She smiles and turns around and kind of puts her hand out, and Allura takes her hand. I'll be ready? Bye, bye, bye. She lets go of Allura's hand, runs up real fast and just slugs you in the face and then jumps into your arms. Yeah. You go be a monster and you heal older people. I will. All right. Okay.

Okay, bye. Bye. She turns around and runs back to Allura. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. After Yen and summoned forth, the three of them vanish into a swirl of arcane energy towards the direction of your mind. First one goes, then the other. She'll be back. We're nomeless. Nirmless.

Is that your girlfriend, Jumbo? What'd you say? Was that your girlfriend? We just got good. Oh, sorry, I don't, I'm just trying to catch up. That's fair. That's fair. It's a fair question.

Yeah, hold your hand out. My hand. Yeah, put it in mine. Please don't kill me. That was a good exercise in restraint, Grog. I'm proud of you. Yeah. Come here, tell me more about your father.

He's really a rotten god. He does these unfair deals. Nobody knows about them but me, and I tried to tell him to play on the up and up, but he's just a liar and achieved him. That's a drink up, by the way. Oh, thank you. So how long have you been set a fourth on your little mission to prove yourself worthy? Month, month and a half. Oh. Really?

Welcome aboard the proving yourself train. I hired a band of mercenaries to assist me for the first month. Did you really get them killed? No, they left me. Can I insight check him? Yeah. Natural 20. Truth.

Is that your real name? Yes, it is. Thought you would have made a shitty name like that one up? Terrian Gary Darrington. Well, your dad really is an asshole. Yes, he is. How's your sister, at least? Is your sister reasonable?

She's the fucking worst. Oh, no. Yes, she's so, she's such a jock. She just does push-ups and sit-ups and pull-ups all day and all night and beats on me. She's younger than me, but she's so much stronger. What's her name? Her name is, I wrote this down. What's my sister's name?

You don't know. Mary Ann. Mary Ann. Mary Ann Derrington. Mary Ann Derrington. Mary Ann Derrington. Mary Ann Derrington. My father, Howard.

He is the worst person. And my mom, Maria. Maria. Is Mary Ann older? Younger than you. Younger. Is she married? No, she's not a married Marion. She's a maid Marian. She's a maid Marian. She's a maid Marian. Oh, Maid Marian Barrington.

She's all focused on the business and taking it over when Dad's ready to retire. Then she'll be a maid maid, Maryan. I may be drunk. Was there anything good about your upbringing? Any positive points? positive points. Yes. Yes, I learned so much. I was left to my own devices for hours on end.

I traveled the world in literature. And I experienced such great adventures, tales of history and fiction. And for most of my life, I was just a happy go lucky kid in my room, reading my books, and making up characters that I would fight against. And only recently have things gotten pretty bad with Dad since I'm now of age to take over the business.

At the early age of 28? Well, he's getting up in years and wants to retire to the Southern Villa. This is such a dark mirror. This is a very dark mirror. I'm concerned. I'm sorry, I'm confused, Terry. That was a Freudian slip.

Why does your father think it's important to have brute strength and combat experience to run a business? It's less about strength and more about a cutthroat attitude. Take no prisoners. Hold back nothing, pull no punches. Are you sure your father's a real estate, patience?

To be honest, he doesn't take me along with him to many, business deals, but he has great influence over many places and cities and important people. And I don't exactly know the ins and outs of the business, but I do know that he is ruthless and a bastard, if you ask me truthfully. What's your father? Literally? No, I mean, we had a grandfather, so I mean, I think he's not really a... bastard, I think. I don't know. What do you mean?

I mean, what do I mean? I mean, what do I mean? Was he the offspring of... He has a father? I'm sure he does. Was he married to the mother? I think so. They were around a lot. So you mean shithead? He's an asshole.

Oh, right. Yes. It was a long walk to get to shit. There's a lot of back story here that you're not ready to. What's your father's name? Howard. Howard. Howard. Do you, show him your tattoo.

I'm just sort of curious. I just had a thought. My tattoo, you know. So your, you're what? The Slayers take? That's a fucking keelot palm at this point. I removed it. You did.

You're going to make me draw it. That's fine. That's fine. So, does this, I'm just assume I'm doing the Clasp logo. Does this look at all familiar? I have the Clasp logo. Yeah. Hashtag Clasp.

Hashtag Clasp. Interesting. No, but I, you're all literate? You can read and write? Most of us, yes. Wow. I haven't met many of you in my travels that have... We even have a library.

That's amazing. A big one. Yeah, I mean, he's particularly brainy. You guys, you guys have a lot in common. We have quite a nice. I mean, there's a lot of differences between the two of you, but you have a lot in common. Really?

Horrifying, yes. Yeah. Yeah, I was a bit of a reader growing up. Oh. Yes. Non-fiction and nonfiction. A bit of everything. I was, I was.

Perhaps we can compare books later. I will happily show you my library. This excite me. Stop smiling. You can teach him the art of nerd chic, Percy. He seems to be well built for it. You know, Percy's a bit of a tinker himself as well. I do. Yes, yes, I've built a few things.

That piece of equipment you showed to that weirdo earlier today, the thing with the handle, did you make that? I didn't make that, but I did make this one, and I pull down the folded ridiculous. Bad news contraction. Bad news. I keep pulling up Gras Muggs. What does that do? It fires, it takes these, and I pull out a musketball, and it fires them at great speed in whatever direction I like. That is... Very dangerous.

Sexy. It's very dangerous. It's very sexy. Thank you. Wow. You make this by yourself? I did. This took about six months, seven months.

I mean, I've been thinking about it for quite a while. I'm working on a few others too, but this is kind of the definitive. This is when we were all. Filted on a little summer vacation. On the last time we took a break. Is the propellant part of this piece right here, or is it in that big piece right there? Or is it magical? It's not, no, it's not magical at all.

Everything on this is purely physical. No magic involved whatsoever. Oh. Yes. It's got this showing the mechanism off. Nerd Tolko. I think it's great. Yeah?

Why do you think of the new guy? Oh yeah, he's weird. I mean, he's not Scanlon. No. Nobody is. Oh, you know what? I'm sorry. One second.

I forgot. I owe you some money, don't I? Yes, you do. The adventure was 50,000, correct? Yes, it was. I think I had a good adventure today, and I didn't die. So, minus the prismatic spray, that's 6,000 gold taken off. Minus the wear and tear on my armor and equipment, that's another 5,000 taken off.

Darling, this wasn't part of a deal. Minus the fact that I wasn't the star of the adventure, I'll have the rest of it. Do you have a tax ID or some sort of tax-exempt status? Wait, you need to be the lead character in the case. your death taunting? Is that what you're telling us? I'm just trying to find out how much I actually owe you. No contract stipulations when we made the deal. Therefore you pay full price. I'm a man of business and I always follow the law. So by my calculations, 20% federal taxes, 9.5% local and city taxes.

I put that at about 11,000 gold total left still. Don't he? Technically, she is tax exempt. Write a check. A check. Of course. She is tax exempt. What? How is she tax exempt? How is she tax exempt?

She's a baroness. Make it 16. Thank you. My father will pay that in full. Oh dear Lord. We can put it in the treasury technically. Did he just give us an IOU? What about all the jingly jangly in your bag of holding?

Go on and reach in there. I know how bags is holding work. I just stick my hand in the bag of holding. No. It is empty. What are you thinking of? Why you reach in there? Candy.

Do you find candy? Nope. It is just a void. It is an empty sack. This is bullshit. You can't come with us. You have nothing. Is he holding any equipment or armor?

I mean, or weapons? The weapon is near him, but not currently on him. Okay. Fire. And I set his weapon on fire. You watch as your hammer just now just ignites with flame. You better put that out. It's cool though, right?

You burning my hammer. No, no, it's magical. It's good. It helps. I touch it. Burns your hand. So you're a brick, stop going to stop! Why would you touch a plane? Because you said it was magical. Is he an idiot?

Well... I don't feel like I can answer that question appropriately at the moment. Legally? Legally. You know when people like poke you in the sternum with their finger, I do that with the tight to tuck knuckle really hard, like, pooh. Yeah, it hurts. I pour more wine for him. More wine, more wine.

I'm sorry, I'm just getting used to this. No, you're fitting it very well. You have your strengths, and while you may be able to like read with your friends over there, I think it's also important to work on your weaknesses. All right. Yeah, so we got to work on, you know, your bravery, Maybe your fighting voice. Absolutely.

Yeah. Was it really bad? Did I sound okay? No, I mean, I wasn't there to witness it. I just know your normal voice. When you were flying over the city, did it sound like a luma being mulled by a pack of wolves? I heard this graying. I thought it was a goat, actually.

That was so well painted. What a picture you just painted. That was lovely. It did sound like a lot. He's getting very high. Big tall neck or furry. No, I heard the llama. I'm gonna squish your next and put my arm around with a nail and say,

I don't know why. I am suddenly taking a shine to you when I felt like I hated you a couple of hours ago. Just stick with us. You don't have to know, I hear everything you're saying, and you're an asshole, and I love you, but you really are an asshole. I'm just talking to the guy. I have taken a shine to you, and I'm gonna look out for you, all right? The first time I got attacked I was a fucking I'm still a fucking mess. I'm still a fucking mess. That's the thing. People are writing stories about us. We're a bunch of fucking shitheads. And nobody talks about that. Maybe a few people do. A few people do talk about that. A lot of people talk about that. There's no way to prepare. You just have to hit your face against the wall a couple of times. Then it starts to feel normal-ish.

I can help you with that. Yeah. You're good. You've done it. Thank you. You've been hazed. You're good, kid. I'm so appreciative of all of you. and I will repay this debt. I promise you. I will make you guest stars in one chapter of my book, and it will be top three most epic chapters. That's pretty cool. Fabulous. Is the money that you're paying us with your father's money as well? Please be honest. Yes, absolutely.

That's fabulous. Oh, I like that. Actually, that makes everything even better. We'll get you a room right next to the library so you can have easy access. Thank you. We can set that up right away. Thank you. The doors don't lock, though, so you have to be on guard all night long. Training is a 24-hour regiment around here.

All right, I accept your conditions. I'll give you access to the workshop if you're like building yourself a lock, feel free. You have a workshop. Oh, my. For tinkering. Oh my. I like you. Yes.

It's a pleasure. This is so nice. Oh, yeah. Of course you'll have a tour. We'll do a brief-forth. Absolutely, and I could show you the inner work in the Doty. I'm so delighted. It's pretty outstanding.

It's very good work. I'm very impressed. A little bit of luck, a little bit of magic. You've got some magic in there. The two of them is you guys are having this conversation without realizing it, slowly exit together. We're not, I'm not leaving. Then you stop yourself as you reach the door. I'm going to send him to the library at the very least.

Okay. So the rest of the wait staff come in and retrieve your belongings and the door. retrieve your belongings and lead you up to the chamber that'll be prepared for your evening. Good evening. Bye. Biday. Good night, Terry. Good night. Be pleased. Oh, boy, what a babe in the woods. I kind of like him.

Yeah. How ragey are you all right? Pretty ragey, yeah. The two people who tend to not like people. It's a terrible sign, isn't it? It's just really, really disturbing. You like the two of you never like the same person. No, that's weird.

You know, we don't have a... the weight of the world crushing us at the moment. It has something to do with it, yeah. It feels very strange for you to be agreeing. It makes me want to take risks and do interesting things. That's nice. I thought we were taking a break from risk taking for a second. No, I feel like we've been playing it very safe.

It's just been that the world has been taking risks. I love the way you frame things, Percy. Once again, you're a couple steps ahead of us. I love the way you lawyer your way out of every situation. That's so nice. Boy. I wonder what Scammon is. I could check in on him.

Let's... Haven't used the scrying eye today. I want to say let's give him some privacy, but at the same time I do kind of want to see. I just want to know if he's alright. I don't. I'm gonna look. I take out the scrowing eye. Don't. What? Why?

I walk over to Grog and start playing... What was it? Rock Paper. What was it? Boulder Perchmish. The paper shoes are parchment. It should be parchment. Boulder parchment. I'm trying to teach grog

that game. No, stop. No? I don't want you to look at all. I think I'm done for the evening. Why? We just want to make sure he's okay. Because he asked us for his own time.

Can we respect that or not? Or did you want him to yell at you more when we see him again? He can't know if I'm scrying in on him. You might know if you're scrying. You might know. He's not if I use my scrying eye. Let's get it.

Just give him a little bit of time. Thank you, Grog. There's a very fair point. Okay, now I'll play. Little elf girl. One, two, three, shoot. Danger zone, I swear. Is it a danger zone? Mm. Because, you know, it occurs to me, I've never given you a full tour of the Treasury room, have I?

Um, why, no, personally. I'm grabbing the wine and I'm leaving you right now. Is it going to fuck in the Treasury? Oh my God! Who has never wanted to have the full Scrooge McDowell? For five, six people. You guys? Oh my God, I start around in a book.

Wow. And I think about talking to him for just a second. Oh, that's good. And then I leave the room. I owe you for that shit. Thank you. All right. As the rest of you wind down the evening, drinking,

Perusing the treasury, reading the various books that you're disposable. We do deposit the check. Disposed the treasury by the way while we're there. Yeah. Sure. We should deposit the checks. Yes. You find your evening to a close.

I haven't had the night off in a while. Yeah. You enjoy the time to relax a bit and really kind of take in another breath of air after this constant pressure that's been pushing you. The next morning comes in as the sun rises. You all come to consciousness, rouse yourselves for breakfast, and whatever the next day ensues for you, all begin to gather within the common room of the castle once more. We're all healed up. All healed up?

Healed up. Airship or sea ship? This is your call. We've never done a sea ship. Yeah, I think we got some... We could go after the dude in hell, but I think we have some more time. Pike has to not to. We should bring a pike to hell.

I agree, I agree. So. Time to go finish your Atari. With 2,600 men if you're back. All right. Do I know roughly where the water ashari are? You vaguely know that it exists somewhere in the Osmit Sea. Kind of south-ish from?

Taldore, but you don't really know. You'd maybe a little bit of information gathering or asking people who may traverse that area would help you, but you don't really know. Maybe we can go down to the docks. Are the docks here? Not in White Stone, I think we're pretty landlocks. No, there's actually technically

there's the seat of the north, but that would be useless. She met the doctor's office. Yes. You have the Lucidian Ocean to the east of you, but it is a very treacherous water in the shearing channel, that is the series of broken landmass between here and Wildmount, the one that the Briarwoods brokering the bridge for. There's a reason we're not a port city.

I'd rather, what's the, like, is there like a port at the very south end of the continent to where we could hop a ship and also do some research? There's still been, very, very far south. Still there? But that is still out to the loose city and ocean east. The Osmit sees in the western side of the continent. Imman is the closest port city. Oh, western.

Oh, now. Okay, well then hang on. If it's, no. Oh, I was about to say, who has the map? You have the map. Okay. Because the Earth is Shari are on the eastern side of the continent. Do you have a map? Right?

The Earth Shari are kind of northern, like mid-Northorn of the continent. They're in the Cliff Keep Mountains. This is a conversation that is happening right now. I'm just so amused. You're trying to remember the fake geography. Of our fake world. Ask me, it's been my life for the past year. I've got it right here.

I've been writing all this shit down for a book for all you guys. All right. We're up here, right? Yeah, Amon is the place. It's on the course of the Ausmets Sea. Thanks Matt. White Stone's here. And we need to be the southwest.

We live in the stars. Well, then, Amon's here. Amon is the biggest port city. Amon is the biggest port city on the Osmet Sea, isn't it? On this continent, yes. Yeah, that's... You know that feeling when you hear one interesting thing, and suddenly you want to know more?

Well, that's the idea behind my podcast, something you should know. Every episode starts. with a question you've probably never thought to ask. Like why people do or don't like you? Why certain habits stick? Or what everyday advice is actually wrong? I'm Mike Rothers and I talk with scientists, authors, and experts and I keep it practical, surprising, and fun to listen to.

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with bonus episodes out every Thursday on Patreon. And every Monday you can listen to our True Crime Rundown where we go over the top true crime headlines of the week. So come and join us wherever you listen to your podcast. So we might as well leave out of Amman. We might as well leave out of Amman. And then I could also do some research because is the libraries and the Lyceum since I'm open again?

You don't know. I mean, a lot of that part of that part of it, of the town is just now being rebuilt and recovered. So it's- Where's the airship, by the way, as well? Just poured the car. You have not checked in on the airship. The last time we saw them.

The last time you saw them was in the throes of the battle with Thorac when they came in and gave it a helping hand briefly. Just to keep up the audience, we're in Maine, and we're trying to get to Los Angeles. Yes. Yes. Well put. And as Terry and can't we teleport to wherever we're trying to go?

It's easier to teleport if you've already been there. Unfortunately, I can't, I've never been there. And the Ashari are very reclusive type people. I've read about most people in places. Have you read about the Water Ashari and the Ashari people? Mega history check. I'm going to join this history check as well. Yeah, that's a one.

Wow. Can I ask you? Her eyes just intimidate and... and no one knows what it's like to be a bad man. Okay. Do you want to touch my antlers? Hey now. Ignore that, like that out weird.

I'm gonna join in on a terrible history check. That is a 19. It's not terrible, I just haven't heard of but your research hasn't dealt too deeply into the Ashari and the Ashari that you do know of are the Terra and the AirShire. and the Ayrashari. Yeah, I've only got what I've read at home. There's Tara and the Zeffra.

There's the only two you know about. And those two in the continent. The Vesera, you're not too familiar with. Well, who else can we talk to? I mean, I guess I could always go back to the Earth Ashari or the Ayrashari and talk to some of those people. Maybe somebody at the Docks in Amon would know. She really wants to go to the Docks in Amon.

I want to just pay off that Docks comment, really. Worth it. Magic. I don't know. I guess we could go back and talk to the Earth Ashari. You guys haven't been there yet. Let's go! Let's go to the Earthishari. All right.

Let's collect our things. What's the temperature like there? It's right now, with it being the season of... The witch. It's in essentially a heavy valley of stone in the center of the cliff keep mountain range. It is far from civilization. It's maybe a few days of heavy mountain constant hiking north of where Craghammer is. We'd have the hike to get there. With a cool front coming in from the door. There's got to be trees that I can, trees right there too. There are a couple that aren't too far outside of terror that you can... There's got to...

There's got to be trees within the camp, right? Yeah. Like nearby? Yes, I'm saying that there are some that are just in the outskirts of terror, none directly in it. Okay. Oh, shit. Okay. Nothing.

I had resistance to something. No. Resistance to Abidi? Yeah. Would not have helped me very much. Let's also say, as we're getting ready, I'm going to take Terry down and let him pick through the the tinkering room to see if he needs any tools and upgrade anything that he might need. Give him a quick tool. And I want to talk to Grog. All righty. I'll take everything. So as you guys are taking

me through the equipment, you find Grog off to the side. Oh. Um. How are you? Me? Yeah. I'm good. I like, I slept really well. Yeah. Feeling less, Ragey? Yeah. That's good. That's good. Okay. Um. Hey. So, let me do. Did you know that Scanlan had acquired drugs? Did you? No. No?

No. I just found this out that he was using drugs behind our back. Like bad drugs? I think so. I mean, I've never tried them. Me neither. So, I don't know, finding out secrets about people, Doesn't feel good, feeling like they've broken your trust in some way, right?

And being trustworthy is very important. Right, yeah, I think that's very important. Right. So, um, not just hold on. I'm not even fighting anyone right now. I pull out the deck. So, um, this is, do you know what this is? Do you remember this?

Where did you find one? Okay, so Grog, I have to be honest with you. When you asked me for this before, I lied to you. You lied. Yeah. What you mean? Well, I sort of tricked you and thought it'd be funny

if I gave you maybe the wrong thing to see if you'd notice, But I'm still lying. I didn't, I was afraid. I gave you a false deck. No, no, you gave it to me. It's in my bag. You want to pull it out? But you said I wasn't supposed to look at it. Well, you're still not supposed to technically. Do you want me to pull it out? Phrasing. Should I, should you just...

You want me to get the deck out? Yeah, maybe close your eyes and get the deck out. All right, I'll go date. All right, I am taking it from your hand. But no, but these are mine. Don't take them from me again. Oh, but open your eyes. It's not really a deck.

You see, it's a bag with rocks in it. Did you take my salt lick rocks? No. You gave that to Scanlan. Here's your deck. Still don't use it. Still don't look at it. It's still very dangerous. But I want you to know that I trust you with it. I know. You said don't look at it. I haven't looked at it. Oh good. Then still don't. How about that? I'm very confused. I know. Basically, I just... Do you want a card?

No. I don't know. I don't know. I open a card. No, no, no, don't walk. Why are you so worried about this? You're making me regret giving this back to you right now. I just want to say, I close it. Please don't make me regret this. Why? I'm sorry that I lied to you, even though you didn't notice. I want you to know you can still trust me and hi can still trust you to not fuck with this. Make an insight check. You go. It's so good.

Six. It's a lot of words. It's a lot of words. But you got your neck back. But I always had it. You, it's really confusing. She's talking at you, but nothing changed. Is this a lesson? Sure.

Can we just skip to the part where you get so frustrated that I haven't get it and you just tell me the outside anyway? Frog? Yeah. You're a good person. Still don't look at the deck. I'm glad you have our back. Don't do drugs. And... What do you think Scanlan did with the rest of those drugs? What do you mean the rest of the drugs? Well, you said he was doing drugs, right?

Right. They just take him with him? Should we search his room? Maybe. Let's do it. All right, I'll put the deck away. Okay. You guys head up to Scanlon's room.

Both of you guys make investigation checks. You've done a lot of brilliant things. That was the brilliant thing you have ever done on this show. I am so consistently proud of you. 16. Oh, 18 minus two. Oh, 16 for me as well. Hey.

Together, you both spend the better part of an hour thumbing through the various drawers and odd boxes and sundries that were left behind in the wake of Scanlon's departure. And at the same time, you both come to find that, no, there are no legal substances remain. He took them with him. Oh, nudie pictures. Other things. What else is in the room? Honestly, there are no nudie pictures per se. You do find a series of books on art and the human physique. And all the corresponding images have been torn out.

I have magic that can make things that are way more real than a drawing. The drug kind. There's three original print issues of Cherry Comics number one to four. Well, I guess he took them with him. All right. When do I get to look at the cards? Like never, grog. Like never, never, never?

Well, I heard from Percival that they're super, super dangerous. But I don't know what they do. Yeah, you don't. No, I don't. Only one way to find out, not today. Not today, I have about that. Fair enough. All right.

All right. You join the rest of the party. After you guys finish your perusal of the workshop, which you which is quite a workshop, mundane in a lot of ways, but functional for the basic purposes of tinkering. Rustic. Rustic. I think it's magnificent what you've put together here. Thank you.

And I'm impressed, and for me that's quite a compliment. No, I'm feeling, and my workshop obviously is your workshop for as long as you stay here, anything you need to work on. Of course, it's fully available. You know what? I don't normally do this, but. What's your name? Oh my god.

He doesn't know any of our names. Oh my god. We're like a bad speed dating session. This is so amazing. Percival Frederick signed von Musil Koloski de Roller III. Oh, he still got it! At your service. He still got it.

Percy to my friends. I'm Terry to mine. Terry's pleasure. This is the castle I live in. This is the castle I live in. This is my sister. as Castle, except of course she's lovely. Cassandra Dirolo. You are in White Stone as our guest. It is my honor and privilege to be your guest, sir. A pleasure. I recommend eventually, not necessarily today, because I am actually enjoying it, learning everyone else's name as well.

All right. Well, okay. No, maybe? No, I'm okay with it. I'm rolling. Doni, put it as a maybe. It's not her catchphrase. It's not for catchphrases. Maybe. Maybe. You guys gather up. Nothing daring rescue.

Together, prepare yourselves for what the next step of your journey is. What do you do? Are we going? Are we going? Yeah. Got your stuff together? Everything you need? Got everything.

Earth people. Earth people first. Go ahead. Where do I find the other fourth of my try? You've written your camp number and pen on your arm? Yes. I know I've got my safety. safety tags.

You've got your safety tags? I'm good. You've got your rights written on the back so that you know if anyone talks about. There we go. All right, let's go. All right. Respect. Respect the antlers.

Always have. All right. We decorate them at the last one to festival. I like decorating my antlers. It's a traditional Ashari tradition. All right, eyes on the prize. Let's go. You guys find your way to the sun tree.

Utilizing transport via plants you find yourself. suddenly thrust through the trunk of the sentry and emerging on the opposite side on the cusp of a deep bowl-like valley that goes probably for a good mile and a half or two miles across before you reach the other side of this crest. Terry, that's two times. You've teleported two times. Oh my god. Every time it's amazing. Wow. Thank you. Thank you all. Uh well. Central Cliff Keep. We are in the Central Cliff Keep. We are in the Central Cliff Keep. of Taldorei and of the central, of the Cliff Keep Mountains. So cool. Yeah. You glance around.

And there are the edges of a forest here. A lot of them are stalkier trees and things that live in harsher environments. And a lot of them are rooted in cracks in the ground and portions of the rock that have split open. Down within this valley, you can already see what appear to be dozens and dozens of trenches that seem to have been dug or pressed into the ground. And there are areas of this valley that appear to have eroded or collapsed, like small, long rock slides that are just kind of dotting the edges of the mountain walls. And then down towards the center, you can see also a cluster of dozens and dozens of small boats it looks like, homes, huts, structures made of rock.

This is Terra. This is the Earth Ashari village here, currently guarding over the localized rift to the Earth Elemental Plain. You guys are traversing down into it? Yep. Okay. Takes you a short time. You find one of the pabs that kind of zigzags down the side of this mountain drop and make your way. in towards the center. The sun is now, I'd say at this time, just over the very top, kind of noonish portion of the day. You begin to walk your way in, and it's very warm here, partially because the, it's northern enough where usually it's a colder temperature on the island. Don't you even move on it.

Wow. You're lasered in on that like nobody's business. I'm a little sensitive. But the further down you get it is just, The tree line has stopped and it is just rock stone that is reflecting the light and it is warm. You're starting to find yourself sweat in your full armor as you traverse deeper, deeper into the center of this mountain valley. It's always like 20 degrees warmer in the valley. Terrible.

Disadvantage in the next California. Thank you for turning us into an episode of California. Los Angeles actor humor for you guys over in Sweden tonight. tonight. One year. Let's take one. Take your critical roll. It took the 101 and the five to get over the Burbank.

For all you fans in Germany, it's a little San Fernando Valley humor. From beautiful downtown Burmaine. I loved it. You can do no roll. Yeah. I like Taylor. Exactly. I'm not like Terry.

Yeah. So as you continue downward, you get maybe a quarter mile into this walk, still relatively far from the village before, and you recognize this. And you recognize this. You watch as one of the nearby trenches shifts up about two feet in stone, and you watch as three figures step out from within the trench and begin walking towards you. Are we killing these?

Stop, no. No, these are grog. They're sending us to the things we're going to kill. Oh, oh, good. Everyone, wait for a second. I step forward a second. Okay. You watch as three humanoid's approach.

It's a little lamb shop looking for the fuckers. It doesn't do anything. It's from the washing company. They are clad in darkened leathers, furs. Looks like a lot of the armor and garb here is taken from hunted creatures and animals that have been prepared and tanned here within the sun-wrecked center of this mountain valley. The two flanking the central figure appear to be human, male and female, both very short, kind of tossed hair, then the center you see what appears to be a very, surprisingly short,

but very stocky and thick half-ork female. As she approaches, she has, the hair is woven back into these thick braids that are pulled into a singular, almost like a top knot on the upper back of her skull. Her drop protrudes a bit. You can see the two lower fangs kind of pushing past the lips. Is this Pantis? No, this is... Lower fangs? This is rock collar, Dryden.

Rock caller Drieden. Not that I would know that. Rock collar. RCD. Do I know Dryden from before? You do. All right. This is not the headmaster of the tribe, but one of the central second rules that is around this portion here.

Approaches to you and for a moment puts a hand out almost to hail you. and then recognize your face and steps forward. Keyleth. What brings you to terror? Kaitiake, Dryden. Katiaki. How are you? We are well.

Have you fared well here recently in the past several months? We have hunkered down. Our business was to make sure that no more the riffs before the same fate of the Pyra. Have you talked to Cairconis or Cora in at all? Not recently, no. We have slayed the crumb conclave. All the dragons are dead.

Then this is a time for celebration. Yes. I will pass the salon. I was wondering if I could speak to headmaster Patis. What do you wish to speak on? I am intent on continuing my journey onto the Water Ashari tribe when I need information from him. To the Vesera.

Very well. I could help you with this information if need be. Is Patis disposed? No. I'm right this way. I mean, it would just be nice to say hi while I'm here, at least. Very well. And they turn around and begin to lead you back towards the outskirts of the city, not directly into Terra itself.

As you approach and walk past, you can see the ground here. Every ten minutes or so, you feel a sudden shift and a slight quake beneath your feet. The landscape here, the closer you walk from the center of the village seems to be in the perpetual state of shifting road. state of shifting rock. And you watch as different areas kind of collide, areas of stone kind of fush and rocks tumble down, parts of a break and crack and reform. At one point, as you guys are about maybe 200 feet out from the first major structures, the ground has one major spike. And you hear this heavy rolling rumble and you watch as maybe 300 feet off from the side, a new pinnacle is formed. Two big plates kind of jump upward, one

kind of coasting over the other and coming to a halt. There is very heavy localized seismic activity as part of the proximity to the rift of the Earth elemental plane here. And you watch as three druids come rushing out of the side of the Terra tribe, and as they focus, the rocks crumble back down on subside. The central mountain landscape here brought back to a momentary beat of peace and quiet. I'm like a New Yorker on a subway. I'm just like, whatever. Just going straight in. Must take havoc on the local architecture.

Oh, it's built. Architecture. We've got infrastructure built for that sort of thing. They're used to it here. Right. As you progress inward and some of the other Terra, Sharry, different visual representations, some appear to be more ornamental jewelry.

seems to be here, like jewels and metallics used, seems to connotate a level of prestige within the tribe. And every individual that walks usually with a cluster of protectors around them, or at least seems to be at a place of noticeable importance within groups, seems to be more adorned in this natural-based jewelry. You know exactly where to go to head straight to the HUD, in which the headmaster resides. And I'm asking her stride through here with Comptain.

confidence, just impressed. Rock collar? Rock collar. The, the... Oh, Jerry. Help the kids, yeah. Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry! A, what looks to be a heavy wooden doorway built out of a series of tree trunks that are strapped to this one area, just ships open, and now you see walks a... very tall, thin, and older, mid-60s human male, who is adorned in a similar tattoo pattern as the rock hall you saw earlier, but it seems to reside from the center of the cheeks and through the jowls and then crosses it across the neck and then across the arms all the way down to the fingertips. And there are certain portions which are broken up by hard lines. It's like

this parallel intersection multiple times as the tattoo progresses down. Very, very loose, almost a flowing central shoulder-based robe that kind of tosses down the front of the body and meets with a long skirt that drags behind him as he steps out. And as he looks over in the direction of you, you can see the eyes are very hardened, dark, deep, brown in color, and the sockets are very weathered. His skin texture in general is pretty weathered. He looks over towards you, clean-shaven, short white hair. He puts a hand up. Killeth you grace the terror with your presence. What can we be of service to you for? I stand more in attention, more formal. Good to see you, Patisse. It's been quite some time. You as well.

I just came to check in after the recent events in the world to make sure everyone was okay. Everything seems to be fine. We've been in intent of care to the rift, and the word that seemed to us passed quickly since your arrival over the past few days. It's come to our attention that Thoradak no longer sits in the center of the city of Vermont.

That's correct. We've also slain his right-hand man Rishon, who seemed to be the mastermind of the entire orchestration. Good. Good and well done. Thank you. I couldn't have done it without your help in training,

so I appreciate that. You're but a seed. You allowed it to germinate. So, what do you need? Well, I'm intent on continuing on with my arremente, now that there's relative peace in the world. The Vesra people are quite insular, of course. I was wondering if you could give me some advice

on how to get there and any advice in general. It has been a long time since I've attended any sort of gathering with the Vesra. It is for people of our skill set not the easiest of journeys. As many of us are capable of traversing through the sentinels of nature. Unfortunately, most of the tree life that exists around Vesra is beneath the water. Right. So your most likely form of transport will be that on a vessel across the waves. Who's their headmaster there now? Do you know?

The headmaster there. Uvenda, the heart of the tides. Ovenda. Uvenda. Uvenda. Vendah, the heart of the tides. What can I expect of this, Ovenda? Venda. Not what you'd expect.

I'll leave you to that. It's very vague of you, Pateas. Well, what would be the fun if I were to unveil the next fold of your Aramente? We've got a point. Do you recommend buy a ship, or would flight be more appropriate? If you have the means, that is up to you. Any other words of encouragement? Listen, closely.

Keep your friends about you. That should be sufficient. Oh, I'm sorry. I probably should have introduced, by the way. This is my band I've been traveling with, Vox Machina, and Terry. Terry Darrington. Lovely to meet you.

I have no idea where we are right now. Good. Keep it that way. He's new. Can I ask a question? Is that a right? Of course. A polite. Yeah. You mentioned that the water Ashari live under the water? They don't live beneath the water, not entirely. Okay. I thought maybe they were like mur people at something or wasn't sure.

That would be awesome. Yeah, right. I know. Cool. So we'll see them above land then if we're, you know, fine. Some of them, yes. Some of them. All right. That was my question. Thank you for your answer. Are there any other landmarks or ways of navigation to find them? There are an island in the middle of the Osmit Sea. It is not the island of usual appearance.

The beaches and sands of Vesma are built upon a great circular reef, and part of the city lies above, part of it, lies below. Look for the white sands beneath the surface. surface. Some structures will be visible from above. It would lie quiet a ways to the southwest, not too far from the Hesbit. Recommend perhaps procuring the surface of someone who knows the sea well. Welcome to trying to do that. Well, is there anything you need from me, Patiz, before we head on? No. Just do your best to have your friends keep the location of our village to them

Don't worry. We have many places we prefer to keep this way. Good. I'm going to trust you all. Safe journeys. Keep her safe. Of course. Always. The Tempice needs a new voice. Thank you for your belief in me. Kaitiake, Pides. Kiteyake, Yonkila. You're welcome. Kamehamehaha. Kayajah. Kaya Jaya. Kamehaha. What did you see?

Kamehamehameh. Taita and buroga. Pensils. Asked Diggily boy. I pull backs aside and say. What's up, buddy? Poise, grace, confidence. She is amazing.

Yeah, that's true. Is she your leader? Um, sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. Incredible. Yeah. I'm learning so much already.

Thank you again. You're welcome. That's good. That's good. One step at a time. Absolutely. You made sure that Terry partook of some of the soil here, right? It's an Ashari tradition, right?

What are you asking me if he's shit here? No, no. He has to eat. Terry, did you manage to get some of the soil in your mouth? The what in my mouth? It's a custom here. You have to eat the dirt of the earth, the shark. of the earth ashari.

I walk off, I'm not getting proud of this. Absolutely. I will do it. You don't want to be like offensive. You're absolutely right. Custom is important. Mm-hmm. Following the local customs,

I took a handful of dirt and shoved it down my fucking throat. Go into an immediate coughing fit as the surface dirt here is built from constant colliding of stone and rock, and a lot of it has been ground to almost fine powder in places and you... Yeah, yeah, it's... It's akin to the cinnamon challenge in a way.

Just stay with it. The first time of suppose, don't dilute it with anyone. I'm just like, diatinaceous earth is just like, ah, just hateful. Ah! You're toppinging up already. Thank you. Oh, your voice sounds deeper. Oh, yeah, and that is my vocal cords being covered in dirt.

I like this. Why are your vocal cords covered in dirt? I just ain't dirt. Why on earth would you eat dirt? I'll go into my satchel and pull out some healing draft and just take a big gulp. Okay? It feels much better.

Much better. Shall we? Yes, let's. Kiki, what do you think? Are we staying here for the night or we just got here? It's the middle of the day, isn't it? Can we tree stride again today? Yeah, we can.

We move it again. You need to rest, or is it, or can we go now? I'm good, after this we'll probably hate. No, I'm gone. We tree stride, we get a ship, and then we spend the night on a ship. Ooh, I like it. Isn't that gonna be fun? Yeah.

I haven't been on a ship, oh my. Are we gonna do the airship or, no, I guess we left the airship in Whitestone. Well, actually we left technically, we... Or did we leave it in the Mon? We left it in the Mon. Yeah. You know, let's see if it's still intact.

What's wrong with a boat? We haven't been on a boat. It's true. I'm kind of feeling the boat. Yeah, me too. You are feeling the boat over the airship. I haven't been on a boat in a long time, and I'm feeling a little weird about an airship. I know, but you practically sang ballads for airships for weeks.

Yeah, and we got one. We did. I mean, I wouldn't object to it. So one and done, all right. Does this mean we can get a pirate now? Does this mean we can get yacht gear if we go on a boat? No. Not denim.

The proper shoes. I'm pirate gear. Boat shoes? I own boat shoes. I knew you would. What does that mean? You do? They're great.

They're flat sold. They are white. White? Yes. They are... You mean like Keds? You're talking about like Kets? No, they're boating shoes.

They're actually boating shoes. I'm embarrassed though I know exactly what you're talking about. You're not in your inventory. Of course. Boating shoes, I'm sure, are very white. Yes, they are. The clothes of them. Leather stripes.

Yeah. Yes. And a little sailor's cap. Jesus. Oh, no. I was so excited. I have a navigator's kit. He does.

It's... He does. Setsail. Yeah. I... That is my favorite phrase in the English language. I have a kit for that. And somehow you...

I have a kit for that. You have... I'm so excited. What's going on. All right, so you find your way back to the edge of the valley, to the same tree that you made your transfer via plants through. I do the touristy thing to them again on the way up, like I do. You make your way of the tree.

What's your destination tree? Pine. Our keep. Great school. Keep, garden, tree. Okay. Sorry. I imagine you say all that as you touch the tree.

It's been a long few weeks. Quite quiet. Basically, yeah. Quiet. You transport from the outskirts of Terra. Find your way back to Grey Skull, keep, and walking towards Iman proper. You can see now even from the distances you approach the walls, some of the larger buildings, the higher towers and structures that just barely peek over the wall you can see are already in the process of repair.

You can see teams of people that are currently trying to rebuild and restructure as you enter from the southern gates of the city and enter the streets, it's more lively than you've ever seen it. People are returning. People are coming back and reclaiming what remains of their homesteads, many of them still intact without a problem. The damage was extensive but not universal in the city. And so I'd say there's still a good 60% to 70% of the city that is mostly without damage in there are areas that are just destroyed. But even, in those, people are picking up, reclaiming. There appears to be a process of a memorial being constructed on the outskirts of the cloud top, to remember those who fell in the battle

for Riemann. There is also the sky port, which is in the outskirts of the cloud top. And up there you can see the sky ship Dira, however, it looks to have sustained a severe amount of damage in the battle and is in the process of also over receiving a own repairs. Oh, I hope Captain Damon's all right. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. He's so intriguing.

Carthrobbed, Damon. He's just gotten a little scar. Oh, the perfect scar. No, he's dangerous, Damon. He's got the Harrison Ford. Is this the Harrison Ford or is it the scar right below the cheek so that when he cries it hits the scar and hits the scar? I mean, either way he can make it work, right? Yeah.

Just like a little Pachinko machine of pain. Rhonda canal. T-ding-ding-ding. Don't let me hanging up top. That's a good at. Pikes here, right? She's in the city. Pike is in the city somewhere.

You can even have been bound her. You don't know where she is. Because I imagine she would have good recommendations on good crews and boats. So let's try and find Pike. Didn't she just say a good crew? She just said to find a good crew. Find a good crew.

She wouldn't maybe not know necessarily. Would Pike? If you know if there's a good crew. Let's say 10 minutes on finding Pike. Pike know if there's a good crew. Pike had one crew that she traveled with on the ocean. They're all dead. They're not dead. They just left her. Yeah. But that crew, I will say for the second time, is not currently docked at Eman.

She was busy doing push-ups on that. Yeah, crews. One-handed. Let's go to docks, you guys. To docks. You find yourself with the western docks of Iman. For the dirks. Through the dirks. Turn to dirks.

You hear the familiar sound of seagulls and other water-based fowl, mixed with the creaking of wood from large ships that are all making their way in and out of this rather large port here on the side of the Osmond Sea. You can see there's a lot of goods coming into the city now, as a lot of heavy orders have come from nearby villages to transport goods as part of the recovery, both from the South and the Mornset, as well as things that were too large to carry by cart from Singorn, and then coming up along the coast, avoiding Dagger Bay and making their way up to Amman. There are a number of individuals around, and who would want to spearhead the investigation into seeking... I'll go. I'll investigate you, check. Me too, me too.

What kind's doing this? Ooh. Looks good. 19? 18. Oh, you've done me on. Oh, about one. All right. Asking about for a while, you eventually, people point you in the direction of what appears to be an individual named. Docmaster, Abon. Docmaster Oban? Abon.

A, B, B, A, B, A. A. A. B, A. A. M. You're eventually led to this individual who pointed out is dressed simply at first glance. Clothing he wears just a plain white, billowing shirt. Nice tailored pants and some boots that kind of go just up to the mid-calf. Dark kind of brown-red skin, completely shaved, smooth, bald, shining in the sun, no facial hair with piercing blue-gray eyes.

As soon as we begin to approach, he's finishing conversation. when it turns to you and flashes the brightest of white smiles and goes, Hello! Ah, you look like you're looking for some help or an aid of something? Yes? No? You're staring at me. What are you want? I don't know if you've noticed, but the city has just been saved. I have noticed it, strangely enough. I've watched it be saved and... Yes, then you maybe saw us in the fray, and now, after saving this beautiful city, we're on our way to the middle of the middle of the of the fucking sea. Would somebody be able to save us? Well, are you looking for a... to purchase a vessel? No. To rent a crew of well-seasoned sailors who know their way around the ocean.

I guess it really depends on the size of the vessel you're taking. What ship do you have? We're looking to... I'm cutting in for instance. Charter, dear, charter. You're looking to charter. We're looking to charter. a ship. Okay. I just meant so much from you, you know. And where are you traveling?

No, please. Ah, that's complicated. Well, just very close to Hespite, actually, not far. Very far southwest. How close to the Hesbids? We're hoping for a bit of a discount for the group that is responsible for this city still existing. She's much better at this than that. Give it a second, please.

A second, please? Doubting Thomas. I apologize, I do not follow this train of thought. Discount? Do your fucking thing, whatever. I didn't roll any kind of a check. I just got shat upon, but whatever, do your thing. And I walk off. I don't think the dice were necessary.

I do. I do. They're necessary all the time. all the time, all the time, except when it comes to me. Go, go, go. Do you think, do you think. I'm gone. No, he, okay. Vax walks away before he finishes his point, and doesn't get to make his role. Yep, okay. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Matthew. What role? All right. We'll never happen.

He gets very embarrassed when he talks about how much we've saved. Humble creature. I'm still very confused here. You're asking for a discount. Why? Because the city was saved. Yes? Oh, well, I wasn't. Of course not. Look, I don't know who you are. I don't know what you're trying to do here. We're in the process. We're in the process of trying to recover the economy of what was once a very strong economy of a town that has been under attack. Now, we cannot offer discounts to anybody because right now we're all in financial dire strait. Understandable. So if you're going to ship, if you're going to move, if you're going to charter, if you're going to purchase, it's going to have to be the...

We're looking to charter a ship full of sailors who can get us to a circular reef to the southwest near the Hesbett. Captain Adela. That would be your best bet. Now, any kind of points off to the end of one of the nearest docks. There's two that are close by, and there's a long row of various ships that are in the process of being loaded and unloaded.

But there appears to be... One sailing ship. They have some galleys and long ships along the side, but there's a sailing ship with the sails currently tied up and bound into the mast and a crew that is lounging on the deck. There is a woman towards the edge of this walking past and discussing. You can not make out a lot of details from this point, but he points over that is Captain Nadella. She would be able to help you. Thank you so much, Dogmaster. Of course. Now, if you wish to charter, speak with her, let you know that the Dogmaster is the one that brought you to that point, and all shall be well.

Wonderful. All right. Good luck. Travel safe. He turns around and walks away. Percy, do we tip him? I don't know how this works. No, I think we just... No, we do not tip him. Oh, okay.

Can I just ask for we leave. How much are the ships that are for sale? Oh, well, it depends on the ship that you're looking for. For a long ship, no crew, of course. which is a fairly decent speed, requires maybe 30 to 40 rowers and a handful of deck hands. That would run you about 10,000 gold pieces. Oh, that's it? That's a long shift.

Just let me ask the important questions. You all retire. If I wanted a ship that had like, let's say like this many sales and came with a crew, how much would that be about? Are you talking about a fully-offeted galleon? That? Yes, yes, you are. I would put that, well, I mean the crew you'd have to pay whatever they're asking.

For the actual ship, general asking price can range somewhere in the amount of around 35,000 gold pieces. That's what I thought. Yep. Thank you. Obviously a man of the world. Do you want a galleon? These dark pretzels are amazing.

He's literally picking up dried pieces of seagull poop. I was just saying you seaweed. It's not like the three peanuts. That's not like the three peanuts. That was so gross. It's really crunchy. The profile of them. There's protein in everything.

Everything. But let's go get a ship. Oh my god. Wow. We could seriously buy a ship. We could. Or we have no need for a ship. What are we going to do when we're done with it? I know, right? All right, really. We've got to be frugal, even though we don't have to be.

Oh, it's not even frugal. This is just what you do once you have money. Exactly. You only buy things you need and you just lease everything else. It's very, very common. It's all good. All right. This is very true. As you guys walk to the edge of the, if you mentioned dock that was pointed out, you come to the outskirts of this larger sailing ship, and as you begin to walk up and your foot falls, clack, clack into the dock, a couple of the deck hands that are kind of leaning off to the side, kind of just looking up. One of them appears to be kind of taking a hit off of a flask of some kind. Both hear the footfalls and get up and turn around and spin, look. Come?

Come! And they kind of point over and the coat-wearing figure that you saw walking across the deck of the ship spins around and begins to abruptly quicken her pace in the direction of the gangplank that leads off onto the side of the dock. As she kind of comes up to the edge reaching and grabbing the sides of it, you see before you, a woman with long sea-air-tattered mass of hair. It is just this halo of crimson. curled in wild dark hair. There's also been sunbleached to the point where the tips kind of go light. It is crazed in appearance immediately as she arrives. She looks spry and somewhat young, maybe late 20s, early 30s, but her skin has been very heavily weathered from all these days at sea.

And you can see already she's getting these kind of crows nests at the corner of her face, but has a very bright smile. and her white brown coat hangs just past her calf high boots. She looks like the kind of woman who's who captains a ship. As she lands, it's over. Hi, you're looking for a crew. You look like a pie. Welcome to Mick Unplugged, the number one podcast for self-improvement and modern leadership. I'm Mick Hunt, your host, and I'm here to challenge your why and fuel your because. This is where leaders, entrepreneurs, and go-getters come to level up. Each week, I bring you unfiltered conversations, game-changing strategies, and the kind of motivation

that transforms lives and legacies. I've learned from legends like Les Brown, Damon John, and Robert Irvine, and now I'm bringing their lessons, along with mine, straight to you. From modern leadership tips to creating unstoppable momentum, this is the podcast that redefines what's possible. Hit play, subscribe, and join the millions who've made Mick Unplug their go-to source for growth and greatness, because your next breakthrough is just one episode away. This is Mick Unplug, the voice and face of modern leadership entrepreneur and self-improvement. Let's get started. The world of Sonic the Hedgehog.

has been thrust into a not-so-dark, not-so-stormy, hard-boiled detective story that probably nobody saw coming. Follow Sonic and the Intrepid Chaotic's Detective Agency, as they take on their biggest case yet. This high-flying, action-packed adventure will take them across the world, fighting for every twill they can fight. It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story might be. the only thing that can save their lives.

Well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you. Wait, what? All will be revealed in. Sonic the Hedgehog presents the Chaotic's Case Files. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. When the Chaotics are on the case. Look, we all know there are a lot of celebrity interview podcasts out there, but there's only one Happy, Sad, Confused.

I'm Josh Harrowitzin. Yeah, I'm the host of the show, so I'm a little biased, but truly Happy, Say, Confused is the place for nerdy and intimate conversations with all your favorite actors and filmmakers. From Andrew Garfield and Scarlett Johansson to Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino. For over 10 years and over 700 episodes, Happy, Say, I Confused has broken movie and TV news every single week. That's because I ask all the questions I want to know.

And more importantly, you want to know. Casting what-ifs, backstage stories, acting pet peeves, and much more. So whether you're into superheroes, prestige TV, or just the coolest actors and directors alive, you're going to learn something in every episode. Listen to HappySan Confused on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. I do not not like a pirate. Why would you say that? She meant it as a compliment.

Where do you buy your clothes? That was a pretty cool. Are you looking for a crew or not? Why, yes we are. I assume you're Captain Adela. Yes. Ha, ha, I see my reputation precedes me. Yes, it does.

Dogmaster of Bond speaks very highly of you. Mm-hmm. Do you know your way around the Osmet? Quite a bit, actually, I do. Where are you looking to go? Near the Hesbitt, see? Near the Hespit, see? Near the Hesbit. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that sounds good. Hesbett bound. No, we don't travel to the Hesbit. It's near the Hesbit, not quite. Have you stumbled upon Vesra? Vesra I know of. Oh, yeah. Perfect.

I know of it. We can find our way there. All right. Goodness gracious. We would be excited to make it worth your while. How worth your while? How much, uh, how wild? What is your while are you thinking?

What is your while worth, I imagine? Well, we have a crew here, 12 deck hands, my captain and captain and navigating skills, my first mate, and the use of the ship. That would run you. Let's put it at 150 gold per day, chartering the ship. There are six of us and a bear. The bear sleeps in jewelry.

I'm a robot. An automaton. Can I say automaton? Can I say a tomatom? He doesn't eat. It'll be fine. Okay. Well, this has certainly got real interesting, didn't it?

All right. So, how we a deal? $150 a day? That's nothing for us. How many crew? Twelve men crew? Mm-hmm. Vexalia, we have so...

No, I think that's a fair price. All right. So. She is such not a good negotiator. negotiate. What is going on? Hey, buddy. Oh, sorry. I will be quiet. In a working dynamics in this group that you don't know anything about, so maybe just wait a bit.

You're right. I will be quiet. That sounds good. I'm so pleased. Fine. You found yourself a leader, a captain, and a partner. Shakes your hand. So, honestly, I feel... That's what you say. Crazy water folk. Who am I to judge? But yes. Six to seven days travel. Let's see, depending on the weather, of course.

Storms are common this time of year. Do keep in mind, we will be passing north of the Hesbit, so be wary of any wandering bandit ships. Bandit ships. Not pirates. Or pirates. You can call them pirates as well, but we already had that conversation. And you are definitely not a pirate.

Not anymore. No. You just look really good. What kind of weapons you got on this ship? Oh, we've got a... You've got some blister? We travel with speed. Oh, it's a fast ship.

What do you mean? You got nothing. Oh, we don't need weapons. We are weapons. We're weapons. We're the most deadly thing in this land. How often do you sea monsters sprout up on you? Ever? I've never been on the sea. Often enough? Often enough.

Off and off. We have. We were just way high above it. That's true. Not like in it. Oh, that's true. We haven't been up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Actually, that's a good question. How many of us have actually been on a ship before? I'm afraid of getting nauseous, actually. Am I really, come on? I had a boat. I had a boat in one of my larger baths that I would take at night, and it would go on epic adventures through the bubbles. but never quite at sea.

What was the boat's names? The boat was the SS. That's it. Even better than I could have possibly imagined. That's adorable. Well, welcome to my ship. She is called the Drinsolovice. That's such a cooler name.

It's possible to smell. Drinsolub. It's a Drin Salaunus. It is Marquesian, for luck of the mother. Ooh. Treat her well and she'll treat you well. well and kind. Respect my crew, respect my authority, respect our direction, and we'll do just fine. So, to the crazy water people, welcome on board.

Do we need anything? Do we need anything before we do. Did she just say crazy water people? Too many mother luckers. Let's do it. I don't think we need anything. I think as long as the ship is prepared and has everything stocked everything it needs, I think we're just reasonable. I've got a couple of underwater breathing that nobody else has. Nobody else has.

Yeah. Oh shit. We don't need. And I have the remnants of several bottles of liquor. I'm quite pleased. I will come sit down with some water breathing stuff. I think we can do it to like eight people for like an hour or something. It'll help them out of the ocean.

That will definitely help. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Raven slumber is like waterproof. You imagine the enchantment probably is water-free. I would hate to like little baby mini trinket in there gets like ground or something if I'm underwater. You don't want to drop your iPhone in the toilet. Exactly. All the bathtub.

About what time are day is it right now? What do you mean? Right now it's a little bit past maybe, it's probably three o'clock in the afternoon. Shouldn't we like go out early in the morning? Why? Didn't that what you do? You like, sail.

I want to sleep on a ship. It's going to be like a seven hour on a ship. Come on get to sleep on a trach. It's only like a three hour tour. Terry, that would be... What is that from reference? No. Dignifying that with Mr. Grown.

Come on, that was just, that was not even... I mean, it would make for the... I expect better of you. A good beginning of a chapter to set out at Dome. That is true. Poetically, it would be nice. But I am eager to get my adventuring on L.E.B. So I am eager to go.

L.L.L.L.L.L.L.A. L. Della. L. A. L. L.O. Is your crew... Oh, been on the sea a little long? Is your crew ready to go? Or would it be? Be better to set sail in the morning.

Well, we leave it your leisure, but, well, not against the idea of a raucous final evening at the local tavern. How many beds do you have on that shape? To get her drunk. Is that true? Is that what's happening? We've really been through the shit,

so I'm not opposed. Just saying. Not including from my crew, we have bunks for at least 15 other passengers. Bunks? Or rooms. I mean, obviously you don't have rooms. Between the bunks, six rooms.

How many bunks per room? Two or three, depending? That's weird. No, it's quite common. No, it's quite common. No, it's quite common. I disagree. I think it's perfectly fine.

Well, you're fucked. You're fine? You're fine? Yeah, fine it. Good, grab your things on the ship. Let's set sail. Shots giving up orders, your crew seems to know. It seems to now kind of come to life, and they're starting to go ahead and start pulling up anchor.

They're starting to get the sails ready. You already can feel kind of the spray of the water as the as the tides coming in now the water's starting to get a little chopier as it's hitting up against the side of the docks and the shore end. A sea voyage. This is unprecedented. Doty take down every word of anyone saying anything ever on this whole trip. This is amazing I'm so excited. Doni stops for a second, leans back, and it starts scribbling furiously at anything that he can pick up with an ear shot. Terry, staring off into the distance, shat his pants, crying into his poo. Well, okay, all right, so Zing, you got me.

He pauses a tiny member between his legs. Ah, you're smarter than I thought to you. No, I miss my smile. Eventually, the ship disembarks and then it's making its way further out into the water, just as the sun begins to set into the slightly orange, purple, and dark blues of the end of daylight. You can see the various lights in Iman come on, especially towards the dock as the night comes to life. And out to the opposite side with the parsed clouds that are scattered in the distance. the ship picks up the winds and pushes with guiding speed out to the southwest into the depths of the Osmite Sea.

And that's what we'll pick up. And so... ...nextsau! As our ship sinks slowly in the west. You've been so well. You just slowly sink. I finally get to use the Ocean Voyage audio. Yay!

Have that in my place for a long-ass time. Ocean boy, yeah. Awesome. We're doing on a cruise, guys. Now we learn how shitty cruises are. I love ships. Ships are great. Everybody's vomiting.

Pretty much. I think I'm the only character who spent time on a boat at this point. And Pikes. Pikes on a ship. Pikes on a boat. Yeah, Mike's still back on now. Ashley, come back to us. Blindspot, stop filming.

You finished your season, right? Almost. So close. So close. We'll get her back. Guys, thank you so much. What an episode. It's ridiculous fucking people.

We're going to pick up next week as you head deeper into the ultimate sea towards Vesera. Thank you again Luke Creight for being our awesome sponsors this evening. Fantastic. The rest of you guys rest well, sleep well, and is it Thursday. I'm going to talk to you in the morning. Have a good night.