Critical Role & Sagas of Sundry - Vox Machina Ep. 95 - One Year Later...
Episode Date: January 10, 2022It’s been one year since we last saw Vox Machina, but the gang is getting back together for a group vacation to the Bay of Gifts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Hello everyone and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role,
where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around,
and play Dungeons and Dragons.
That's what we do.
Yep.
So welcome.
We had a brief break last week as Liam brought us through
his delightfully dark and twisted mind.
Thank you again for running that.
Creeping.
Yeah, it was awesome.
Go into Catholic school.
It was awesome.
Why?
You're not surprised.
Yeah, that's not far.
But yeah, so anyway, glad you could join us.
Before we jump into tonight's game,
we have some quick announcements to make.
First and foremost,
Do you want to talk about some new merch stuff
that's got in there?
Oh, what's that?
What's that?
What's that?
What's that?
What are these?
What are these?
What are these?
Shirts are in the store right now.
And the color and they're so soft.
They're soft.
They're soft like the hoodie.
They're like a thin version of the soft hoodie.
Yeah, no.
If you have the Gilmore shirt,
it feels like the Gilmore shirt.
I love it.
I love it.
Also, I guess, it's going to bring me out.
Also.
The Critical Roll dice are coming back in stock very soon, but they're on pre-order right now in the store. You can go in and get on that. We also have the CR enamel pin back in stock, so you can check that shit out in the store right now.
Woohoo!
Awesome.
Let's see.
There's a new Signal Boost Knapp this week with a kind of a cool person who hosted that. Who's that?
D.M.O. Dryin.
I am not cool, so you are not talking about.
so you are not talking about me.
Scream and no tie it.
More sweater than any other single-be-tel.
It's bright.
It's actually going to play during the break.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
You can hear about all my artsy-fartsy theatrical sad hang-ups
from the past?
Oh, joy.
Yeah.
You'll like it.
It's good.
So stick around.
Number five, man.
Henry five.
Oh, ha, ha, ha.
Thank you.
And also, a reminder that Momocon is coming up.
Momokan is coming up in the next month, where Talas and Marisha and I will be guests and, as of recently, our good friend Brian Wayne Foster will also be joining us for a Talk to Mockney Live panel at the event, which will be fun.
Mimokin.
Yeah, Momokon is just fun to say.
It is.
Momokon.
Momokan.
We're all going to say it.
Hotlanta.
Yeah, so we'll be there.
It'll be fun.
It's May 25th of the 28th in Atlanta, Georgia.
I look forward to see you guys there.
Oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh.
Oh, my what's how, why.
It's the start of a new year.
Why doesn't it wrap around the back?
I tried to get the eyes on my nipples.
Just pull it down a little bit.
There it is.
There you go.
There you go.
That's a...
Those are some bulging ice sausages.
What's great is when you're not stretching it, it looks.
What's great is when you're not stretching it, it looks.
like that dumb face app thing now,
or you can see your older version of yourself.
It's kind of.
Have you noticed the guys turn into girls
so much better than the girls turn into guys?
I mean, we look so terrible turn into people.
I've seen some girl photos that turn out pretty good.
Maybe it's just you guys.
You have to have your hair pulled out.
It might just be the three of you, I'm sorry.
Although, who did Ashley end up looking like?
Haley Joachman.
Yeah, I worked out pretty well.
Actually, a lot of people tell me that I was like to him anyway.
Really?
Him or I get...
Brad Pitt.
Yeah, definitely bread pit.
From...
The 80s band. It's a guy.
Keep going.
I want to say George.
Narrowed it down.
Kansas? George.
Hum a melody.
I can't think of it.
I'll think of it.
This is the whole episode.
And she'll just yell at it on the break.
Travis makes a really ugly woman, though.
I turned one of your pictures into it, girl.
I never showed you.
I don't agree with that.
I've seen multiple.
I've seen nip talk.
Thank you, Matt.
Yeah.
Thank you.
It's a supportive significant other.
Yes, Wednesday Club, Talison.
Want to talk about Wednesday Club?
Actually, this one, it's going to be Matt Key is taking the reins on this one, so I don't even actually, I'm not sure if you said a lot of what's going on.
But I think we were talking about maybe Brian Kvon and like looking at his whole body of work, which could be a lot of fun.
There you go.
TV writer and comic book writer.
Could be cool.
Fantastic.
Fantastic go.
Fantastic.
And of course we have Talks Mocking in next Tuesday, live here on Twitch and Alpha at 7 p.m. Pacific with our wonderful host, Ryan Winfoster.
There won't be one.
Oh wait, there won't be one this week. Because, never mind, because they're going to be on vacation.
Because you're going out of the country.
Yes.
What?
They're going to, where you're going to the North Pole?
Oh.
We are going to the North Pole.
We are going to...
Oh, no.
Let's be nice and vague.
Going to a place.
It's pretty.
Going to the place.
With water.
As a note, as far as Brian was saying, you guys are saying, you guys are going to be nice.
really haven't had a vacation together.
Never. Ever.
So, super excited you guys have a chance to do.
Almost been dating for five years,
and we've never gone on a vacation together.
Y'all, date it?
Yeah.
Well, that'd be fun.
Yay.
Also, your date with Matt Mercer and a silk robe,
thanks to Brian Wayne Foster,
will be up on YouTube tomorrow at 10 a.m.
Oh boy.
Is it okay?
Yeah, it's fine.
Prepare for a lot of port drinking.
Boy George!
Boy George!
That was the best timing ever.
I get it a lot.
I get that.
Yeah, it was good.
It was good.
Awesome, so tomorrow?
All right, for those you guys
to be able to see tomorrow.
He's very pretty man.
No, that's fine.
Bring tissues.
Yeah.
That could go a number of ways.
Yeah.
That it can.
Sorry.
That's just.
Thank you all.
Touch us, let that. Thank you all who came on Tuesday to chat and talk and create some fun future
characters for this story line in the future. That'd be fun. Anyway, do we have anything else to mention or shall we continue?
Do you want to do the shirts? We did the shirts? We did it.
That is so nightmares, Sam. I love it. It's an homage. It looks like Mercer's eating the table.
It's an homage.
What I'm looking forward to is it.
forward to, is the eventuality that you have enough of these shirts that your closet has a section that's just my face?
The mat. Your face, my face.
Yeah, and it's just faces printed and just having your wife eventually come to me and go.
I might have enough that we could all wear one one night.
Oh, no. Oh no.
I think you only think on that.
All righty, then. Left further ado.
With either do, let's jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role.
And welcome back, everyone.
So, last we left off, Vox Machina, having completed a multitude of various quests over a prolonged period of time, found themselves free of immediate necessity and danger.
What?
They...
Brought peace to the world forever.
No. Nothing bad will ever happen again.
That's not how this works.
Credits.
So as the last episode wound down and the friendships were strengthened,
you all then began to ponder about what you wanted to do with the time before you.
And today we return approximately one year after we left off.
So we met earlier this week to discuss this.
We went through various number of things
that you wanted to accomplish,
both as individuals and some of you in groups.
So we're going to go ahead and go over those elements
for you guys and get everyone up to speed
with what exactly has transpired in this year period of time.
Show and tell.
So we'd like to begin.
We're just going to share?
Just say what we did, what we accomplished?
Oh, my God.
On summer vacation.
We should share elements of it,
and then some elements will be roleplayed.
because that's what I want to do.
I guess that's what I want to do.
Yeah.
So.
You're playing to me?
Yeah, I'm plenty of you.
You go.
Okay, I'll start.
All right, so, Grog, where are some of the things you did?
Well, because I single-handedly established peace across Exandria,
I found myself bored in need of action, and so I sought out where the fight would now be.
I looked for scanning a little bit along the way.
I didn't find them.
No, you didn't know.
I looked for like magical items along the way.
I didn't find them.
So I went to Masselheim,
which is where this layer take is.
Layers take is.
I think before I left, I wanted to get some personal things
like done to my body.
Yeah.
So I had the bear tattoo that I like filleted off of Kevdak
and I had it tanned and then I got a copy of that tattoo
on my back.
Yeah, because that shit's behind me.
Oh.
So you now have Kevdak's bear totem tattoo
that was on this chest now on your back.
Yep.
Out of sheer disrespect for him.
Toach.
I love it.
A bear ass on your bear ass.
Oh.
Much better idea.
I also took Kevdak's skull, the top of it,
and I had a new cup, a new mug made out of it.
With like metal bits and stuff with a handle.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't understand how, but it looks really great.
It's like metal and bone and I,
that's me.
That's delicious.
I just choked out of pizza.
Yeah.
I heard it happen.
So, I went to Maxwellheim and like,
I defended my title in the crucible.
Yeah, multiple times.
Multiple times.
Including once against a familiar individual
called Curran the Hammer.
Cone the Hammer.
He came back with that munch.
shit. Yeah, and did not prevail.
However, he did come back to you requesting to learn and train under you
to teach him your ways. To which you said. I forgot.
No? Yes. I said yes.
You said no. I said no.
That's what you told me at least. I said no. I said no, because I was like
you got to drink all the time and this and he just wasn't up to snuff.
That and I should not be teaching anyone anything.
So then I went to the Slayers take
in search of like, big game.
And I had phone with that for a while,
but it just wasn't quite the same.
It weren't like crazy ass,
ancient dragons and nothing.
It just wasn't quite up to snuff.
But I did have my curiosity about the deck of many things
peaked so.
At some point along the way, Vex's warnings ringing in my ears.
I found a nice drunk sap to-
So, as you are wandering down an evening byway,
the quad-roads of Vasselheim, a number of cups in yourself,
you hiccup loudly and glance off to the side to find one
gentleman who's been far deeper in his cups and is currently
trying to study himself against the stone wall in an alleyway.
Yep. Hey, you.
You, you look like a mighty warrior.
Do you need another drink?
No, you need to buy it, yeah.
Yeah, I do. I have one, and I pour them a little from the cake.
Hey, do you have like a wife, kids, attachments, anyone that would miss you?
I think if I did, I'd be drinking this hard.
I take that as a note. Cool. Hey, look. I don't know if you're interested, but I'll have in my possession.
Something really cool. And I take out the deck. Do you know what, do you know what this is?
I have no idea.
Great! Great! We're in like the street, right?
Yeah, you're like near Thurriffair and there's a small alley off to the side.
Good. Let's go. Follow me into this alley and
Let me on me deeper.
Just follow me on me.
Make a persuasion check.
Okay.
With an advantage because he's really drunk.
This is like abduction, how to not one-on-one, like self-defense.
I mean, he's either changing this guy's life for the better or murderous.
This is like you bought the van and put the tinting the wrong way.
19 plus one.
It's so bad.
You watch as in the center of his pupils, a little sparkle of interest kicks in.
Yeah.
And I mean, five percent soberer at the prospect of something fun that the stranger that gave him a drink.
He goes, where you're here?
What are you talking about?
Well, listen, I am kind of like an evangelical spreader of good news,
and I found this, and one time I pulled a card out,
and I got a magic weapon.
It was amazing, and I just figured, like,
you looked like a guy that would appreciate such a weapon.
So, now open the deck.
I thought maybe you would like to draw a card.
He kind of takes a second, and looks around.
Look at the deck.
Is this some sort of a magic trick?
Yes.
Yep.
All right, do me tell you what it is?
Uh, sure. Yeah, just draw it and, uh, and actually just hold it and don't tell me what is.
Okay, let me get my cards out.
Mm-hmm.
Oh my God.
What, do you have an actual set?
You could break the game.
What the actual fuck is happening right now?
It was a fucking year.
Did you not think this was gonna happen?
It probably happened in the first week.
This is the first of tail guys.
A lot of brothels, a lot of drinking, a lot of fighting.
Ran out of shit.
This wasn't disgusting.
This wasn't disgusting.
He's drawing the card.
Yeah, but you could still die.
You could kill you too.
Could it?
I could so.
I don't really show on how this shit works,
but I'm pulling another card to come out.
Oh my god.
Oh no.
Oh no, what did he pull?
What did he pull?
No, no, no.
No, I'm gonna let somebody else pull this.
Oh, because this is a drunk guy.
Oh, you raise your hand to pull from the deck.
That's some bullshit.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Sorry, Tom?
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
You know what that is?
No, I don't remember.
Okay.
It's just a little, Tom.
This is the.
It was a face card.
It was like, it was like 16.
Buckle up.
Oh, oh.
Oh, no.
Is it amazing?
Did he get something really good?
You're the damn now.
Hold on.
I have to roll a die first.
I don't know.
He takes the card and looks at it.
Turns around and shows you, and it's this
tarot card of a beautiful moonscape with like an open night sky.
I believe it says.
Yeah, that's where it is.
He puts it back in the deck.
He's like, all right, what's the trick?
I'm feeling a little strange.
Oh no.
Oh, no.
Can you describe to me how you feel right now?
And he's like trying to contemplate it, he goes,
Wait a second.
Wish, that was a powerful Lord of the Quadros.
And there's a strange tingling visual image
as the cloth around them that was tattered and worn now becomes beautiful silks.
The drunkenness fades from him ever so slightly.
Remember so slightly, and now he looks washed.
And you glance over at the far end of the alleyway,
and there's a guy there who's dressed in long, long tails
and a coat and goes,
Sir, how long are you going to be?
He goes, right with you.
I don't even know what his name is.
Thank you so much, stranger, and he pats you on the shoulder.
Grog, Grog.
Strong job.
Grog Strong's things. Maker of Kings.
Gray.
I still got one more of these.
And he walks off and runs off to the carriage.
He got two wishes?
One D-3 wishes.
Oh, you're not serious!
Wait, he got two wishes?
You just changed away two wishes.
Wait, what was your name?
His Queen of Diamond was the car.
Did I get his name?
You didn't get his name.
He just runs down.
He just runs off.
The quadrants.
The quadrants.
You discovered the cure for cancer and you gave it away?
Wait, I have a question.
Once the card has been pulled, is it gone from the deck,
or does it go back in?
No, they go back in.
I, oh my God.
I should just pull all of these.
Oh, I mean, obviously it was just like a little appetizer.
That is way better.
That is way better.
Oh, my God.
You want to pull one there?
Matt's verifying.
Verifying that he did the right thing.
Just don't go check in.
This is important.
I know, yeah.
Once the card is drawn, it fades from existence.
Oh, the witch card goes.
Yeah.
The best card is probably the best card.
It is the best card, isn't it?
Now the deck is slightly shittier.
Way shittier.
You know what?
You don't know that.
You don't know that.
You know what?
Only one person picked that card from the deck.
So it's not really...
No, it's not really my fault.
It's Laura's fault.
Good roll, Laura.
Right, right.
Thank you.
No, I'm like, no, really.
It's good roll.
Hey, man.
That one's gone now.
Whoa.
Lo, in the Quadra, now it was he a favor.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's true.
Yeah, it's queen of diamonds, right?
Or he'll become a terrible award
and he'll kill us all.
Yeah, like our last action.
Well, no, he knows his name, doesn't he?
Who was that man?
That was Talos and Jaffe, mayor of Renfair.
Oh, no.
Huzzah.
Huzzah.
What's going on, Matt?
My goodness.
Just double checking and make sure that the car goes away,
and it does.
That was amazing.
How it's written there.
Clearly, nobody in my group knows what they're talking about.
This deck is a mighty gift.
We're doomed.
And I'll put it back in the back of a whole deal.
Okay.
I was like, oh God, it's the control of the car.
Two hour combat.
I want two really bad, but I have an open bar ten.
Okay then.
You, in your time away, radically changed some poor man's life, and apparently wished himself
to some level of nobility within the Quad Roads of Vasselheim, with one wish still standing.
I remember that guy.
Lord of the Crossroads?
Quad Roads?
Quad Roads.
Well, there are many lords and ladies of the Quad Roads.
He's just now one of them.
Good deal.
That happened.
I was thinking to myself, it was either going to be that or some Grimieber's going to show
up and just cut us out.
That's all I wanted, really.
Just cheer him on, maybe have a little better counterweight from my expectation of the deck,
but now I just want to pull one every day. Nothing but good shit happens. Magic weapon,
fucking wishes.
So if this happened early into your year, do you still resist the urge as the year progresses?
No. Oh, no. Oh, Jesus.
How long does it take until you?
The urge creeps up again.
I mean, oh God, why don't I have to be so fucking true to my character?
We're not even there.
Three birthdays a year, right?
Yeah.
So.
Your character is also probably
I will probably wait to take it back so that I can open it with my good friend Pike.
Because she'll understand that this is an awesome deck.
Which actually plays into her opening.
Oh, the other thing you did,
which happened towards the end of the years,
you said you went to the Frost Whale?
I did, yeah.
I was curious if they were, like, you know,
I was curious about the werewolves.
So I went to go see the nymph at the Frozen Lake,
you know, the one that's like all about grog.
So, like, I had a conversation with her,
and I felt really bad because I didn't,
I wasn't like as affectionate as the last time,
so I gave her this palm-sized ruby
that was just, like, at the bottom of the bag.
It looked really pretty,
so I gave her to her.
She think you.
She did.
Yeah. We hit it off.
And I asked her after were
were just in the Faye Wild and turns out.
Like entropy is scattered throughout the planes.
Well, I didn't fucking know that.
But now you do. She passed that information on me.
All right.
So there's the truncated example of Grogz here.
We might come back to it here a minute.
Next up, Pike.
Since we're a good transition point there.
Okay, okay.
So, what did you do?
All right, well, so I followed in the beginning,
well, after, did the guy pick the deck in Vasselheim?
Or were you?
Uh-huh, that was in Vasselheim.
Okay, so I went with Grout to Vasselheim.
And just because I wanted to go and read
and, you know, work on some things.
And I ended up.
Taking on your temple that you built there and everything, yes.
Yes.
I ended up fighting.
Because I saw him fight and I was like, oh, I should probably just try it.
Yeah.
And did well.
Yeah.
I'm the second champion under Grog.
Funk yes!
And as everyone was pitting both of you against each other for another championship bout, you both decided to...
Do it.
No, you're kidding.
Two fights.
Kill each other.
We didn't end up doing it.
We just shook, and we just knew both of us were just too powerful
and that I would win, so we just decided not to win.
Two monsters of a feather, stay.
Two monsters of a feather.
Also in that time, which was a five-month period,
we had a lot of lessons and taught Grog how to read.
Yay!
Just a little bit.
Just a little.
He can slowly read four to five letter words.
Five letter words is a big deal.
That's a big deal.
He knows how to write his name now.
He knows how to write three words.
And he can write a full sentence over a short rest.
Yep.
Mint. Farts. Cat. Farts.
Farts.
Dooddy with a wife.
Did he get a good?
We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Okay.
What did you ask?
I think it's mentally exhausted from reading.
It takes a point of exhaustion when he tries to do.
Oh, he's so tired.
I'm tired, though.
I took some time to learn how to be just a little bit more stealthy.
Just did a little bit of training.
Not a ton, but maybe, we'll see.
I also, I went to check on great, great, grandpappy.
Grand Pappy, Willhant, to see how he was doing, and he's doing fine.
He's doing good.
He's older.
The home that was damaged in the Brissilla attack on Western, your room has been repaired.
It was taken a little while, because it's mainly just him hiring him we can at the time.
But he's doing well.
He's an old gnome, but still kicking around.
He'll doing his best, still doing his prayers to Sarah and rain.
Glad to see you coming, saying hi.
Oh, of course.
Always.
I sent.
Does he still have Fastbender?
Uh.
Oh, I forgot about Fastbender.
Oh, that's right.
He does.
Did he die?
No, no, no, we left Fastbender with him.
Yes, we didn't.
Yes, we did here here?
He has the, uh, the, uh, the, uh,
the, uh,
forgot about Fastbender.
I thought that we lost him of driving.
No, no, no, we left him with Wilhelm.
It's keeping him safe.
He probably helped build the house.
Uh, he, uh, if you ask him about that,
ask him where Fastbender is.
He's like, oh, yeah.
This nice older fellow came by and said that it was his property, so I gave it back to him. He seemed very...
Was that dick?
Very intent on receiving his property, and I wasn't about to argue.
That's okay. It was technically his.
It was technically his.
I also sent a little bit of money to
I don't know where they are, but I hired somebody to send a letter and some money to some of my family.
Yeah, some of the truth puts.
Yeah.
And what else?
Oh, last but certainly not least, we opened up a bakery.
Yes, we did.
What's it called?
It's called, Tettlum.
It's called, well, this was Terry's idea.
It's called the Slayer's cake.
And we have many, many items.
Delicious, sun treats.
Sun treats.
Bear claws.
Yes.
Angel food cake.
Yes.
Tree bark, like he was made.
No.
So many treats and treasures.
That's delicious.
Bearclaws, of course.
Bear claws, of course.
Yeah.
A white stone.
Obviously.
Yeah.
Bear claws, though.
Did you guys make bear claws?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So Terry, Caliph, Fax and I just decided on a drunken evening.
We were like, we should open up a bagerick and do it.
We found this building that was pretty abandoned in White Stone,
and we fucking played a bakery.
We can't just do this like tomorrow.
We should just do it tomorrow.
Yep.
Weistone needs more commerce.
That's right.
It does.
Vacant buildings that are starting to fill up.
That's why we did it, because we wanted to help the economy.
Yeah.
Anything that gets you out of the wine cellar at that.
Plus small business tax breaks. It was good all the way around.
You're not getting a tax break.
I did try looking for Scanlan at one point.
You did, yeah.
But I couldn't find him.
Yeah, it led you all the way to Emon, I think it was.
Then it went cold.
Yeah.
Yes.
And what was the last thing?
Oh, we went to go see.
We'll get to that.
Something great.
Yeah, we'll get the back.
Yeah.
So that's what I did on my year break.
All right, who wants to go next?
Are we going on order or what we do?
I mean, I guess we can, yeah.
All right.
All right, well, I spent my beginning of the year
trying to find the baby of the gray render that I sent on its way.
Yes.
Well, you discovered that there was an offspring.
There was a singular offspring in the parched wood,
not too far from where you saw it emerge in your vision.
and upon finally finding it, it was young and defensive and feral and after...
Very angry.
Very angry.
And day after day, you returned with various foods and meat and trying to connect with it and did not succeed.
I did not.
I failed miserably.
So many shit rolls.
So many shit rolls.
It fled southward into the Parchwood, and while you,
now have sent your
pale, your gray
hunt. That is now
working below you to keep an eye out for it.
It has not been seen since. Yes.
I am on the lookout in case it comes close
to our territory. I want to keep our people
safe, but I'm not going to...
Greetings, adventurers. Spring
has sprung here in Los Angeles,
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Greetings, Adventures,
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I go and try to kill it just for the shits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also built my house.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
New house, new house, new house.
And built up the guard.
And I made a nice little animal sanctuary for Trinket, a nice garden area for him to hang out in it.
Other wildlife should they so desire.
I, oh, and Terry, Terry moved in.
I didn't have a place to stay.
You know, and I mean I have such a large house.
I mean, you might as well just come and live over here, right?
Well, I mean, if you'll have me.
Of course, darling.
I can sleep on a couch.
No, no, no, you'll have your own room.
Excellent, because I don't think I can sleep on a couch.
You're wonderful.
You're not so bad either.
Oh, you.
And I became for White Stone, the ambassador to Singon.
So I'm working on making a teleportation circle.
Is that what they're called?
Yeah, you're having a teleportation circle placed within your state in White Stone.
and it's about two weeks out, at the end of the year,
it's still two weeks out from creation.
Yes.
It's going to take a little bit longer,
but it is in the process.
Trying to make amends,
to make peace with my father,
trying to forgive and grow and move on.
And while Terry was living in the house,
Oh my gosh, she was doing so many things.
We decided to make armor out of,
Boragal. So I have new white dragon leather armor.
Terry helped me enchant. Actually, that Terry enchanted and I hung out with him
for five months while he did that.
Yeah.
That happened.
There's a lot of hard work, but you know, I learned something from it.
Yeah. But I'm really good company, basically.
Yeah, she knows two songs. She sings them all the time.
And Trinket gives amazing
massages. That's true. Yes.
Yeah, and I think that's pretty much it
outside of the bakery, which has taken up a lot
of time, really. Yeah. You'd also
research some information on... Yes, I spent a
fuck ton of time. I'm building up my library in the cows.
And so I spent a lot of time researching
Orchus and the Raven Queen and learning
everything that I can about
all of them, all of them.
All right.
And Vags.
Everything's going to start to get a little intertwined
Which is why I kind of let along this way.
Right.
So yeah.
So overarching theme is there was a lot of Zephyra and Chill.
I enjoyed not being on death's door every fucking day and relaxing and being the right hand of the queen back in Zephyra.
I'm still learning the lingo.
Getting to know Corin a bit more.
Kieleth helped me.
I led a lot of blood and made a small altar
to the Raven Queen in Zepra.
It's been all flowered and vined out.
And while we spent most of our tattoos,
we're talking tattoos.
Yeah, so since you know,
Kieleth, the mantel's a little heavy and flashy
and a little formal to wear all the time,
but wanted something to still represent my chieftain.
Chiefdom. Did you get antlers tattooed on your face?
You're right there.
That actually would be pretty tight.
Like those elves in Dragon Age?
Caleb goes hard.
No, I got the traditional Ashari tattoos
of like the mantle all across her chest and shoulders
to kind of mimic that.
That's super tight.
Wow.
We went together.
Yours took much longer than mine did.
Went to a while.
This old needle and hammer style, old traditional.
Yeah, and about two-thirds of the way through yours
they started on mine, which is just a pair of antlers
on right biceb here.
See, he got the antlers.
Nice.
Oh, did you really?
I did.
Not on my face.
That's great.
Right into the barbed wire.
Yeah.
Kieleth for life.
So we spent a lot of time in Zephyr
but since have Druid will travel, we met up with the
these two quite a bit. About once a month, we would have three or four day weekends. We'd
spend time in Whitestone. We went to Vasselheim a lot. The twins spent a lot of time in the
library, reading a ton. I spent a lot of time at the Raven Queen's temple, getting to know
the people there, getting to know what the hell a cleric or a priest or a paladin of the
Raven Queen does, since I didn't really have any time to do that.
Which part of your process there, once you had been kind of fully accepted into the order there,
Some of the few responsibilities you had were you were called
whenever relatively important figures in the city
had passed away to go and give rights when they were interred
and be present during a number of funerals in there.
That was one of the earlier responsibilities that was given to you
within Baslehem while you were there.
I tried to do a little observing too in Zephyra as well.
I didn't want to interfere with their customs,
but it's like being a,
working at a funeral home, and over time,
you just get used to it.
Yeah.
I want to spend time around it.
A couple of bits and pieces.
I saw everybody, really.
I went on a man's weekend with Grog and killed things.
That was awesome.
Talked a lot of shop with Pike.
God talk.
The girls went off on their own a little bit,
so I spent time trying to figure out what it was.
Percival does in his workshop, and you lent me a book
about the history of Whitestone.
I did.
I just sent you on a tour of the frescoes.
It was quite nice.
It's beautiful once you're not, you know,
screaming, running on fire.
You can really take in art and notes.
It had been years since I'd done it without been on fire
running around.
So yes.
Also trying to locate Dr. Drenzel in an effort
to find Scanlon but was unsuccessful.
Yes.
You ever brought meat with me.
Yeah, and kept it down.
You did.
Like a trap.
You can check this box.
Are we married, yes or no?
Track one.
Oh, and last thing, Vex took me to sing
going on one of the trips, spent some time with little sis.
Not as much time with dad.
Some time with dad.
We're all right.
Yeah, it's whatever.
That's fine.
Yeah, you guys have, you know,
you've arranged a respect,
and yeah, there is no familial bond per se with him,
but a lot of the tension has died
away and there is kind of a business and positive interaction.
Yeah, there's finally this feeling that we don't need, at least for me, his approval
anymore, which is very nice.
And he acknowledges that, and he seems both simultaneously proud and kind of sad, almost
a, I would say like a mild regret that perhaps, I think he realizes now kind of what he missed
out on.
How fucking cool we are?
Kind of.
Well, you're going to that.
Up until that point, yes.
Thanks for a note.
In character, in character.
You know, Elf's gonna elf, and there's no getting around that.
Exactly. All righty.
And I think of to Marisha as Keelith.
Keelith, what you got going on?
Okay, so once again, a lot of intertwining starting to go on.
Got her tattoos, took a little bit of time.
One of the big things that Keelith did over the course of the year,
which took a massive majority of her time,
was she went kind of on a diplomacy mission,
to all four of the tribes, as well as Iman and Whitestone.
And with the help of Percy and Terry,
we came up with a system
that we are calling the crisis orbs system,
is what you called it,
where we put magical orbs in each of the cities
that are basically giant panic beacons
to where, and each city got assigned
a separate color to where if anything goes terribly wrong, someone can hit that beacon,
and all of the crystals will light up, and whoever can respond first will do so.
Well, some shitty 11-year-old kid just runs up and hits it.
They are heavily under guard.
Yes.
They would be in trouble, because it's not going to be.
It's like how calling 911 is illegal.
You don't do that.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not allowed in that room.
because Keyleth definitely, I think Keyleth dealt with,
Keyleth and then a lot of the other Ashari dealt with
a little bit of guilt after Cinder King and Thorac
and wanted to make sure that if anything tragically goes wrong again,
we can potentially be faster to respond and have allies nearby.
Pretty cool.
So that was a massive part of it.
I also went to Whitestone and grabbed a little sprig off of the
sun tree to propagate one of my own trees back in Vesra.
Spent a lot of time working on my alchemy in between.
Imagine we would have crafting parties in White Stone, yeah.
And then, you know, I would do some .
I made friendship bracelet, she worked on her alchemies.
Yeah, it was great.
He made dragon armor.
I was just making that fucking armor.
That looks so good.
You did know.
Well, yeah.
Girl better appreciate it.
Plately you'd have to make the armor.
You commission the armor.
You enchanted it for five months.
That's right.
Yeah, took trips with Vax and had him as my right-hand man.
Unnecessary bodyguard, yeah.
What's his official title?
Unnecessary bodyguard.
It's pudding.
Coat tails of the tempest?
Servax.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The gauphic one.
Cervix?
Cervix.
Maybe not that one. Maybe not that one.
I like it.
And thus another meme was built.
Okay. And since you were the last of one of the intertwined events, the four of you, Keelith, Vax, Vex, and Pike all took a specific trip.
And Terry.
Oh, sorry, Terry, you came along too. Yeah. So the five of you guys took a journey into the Faye Wilde in search of the theater.
We went to the theater.
It was amazing.
Mike wasn't there, but it was amazing.
You were there.
It was amazing.
Such a good show.
So.
They integrated rap to
it was like,
it was like a whole new way to tell history.
It was just so good.
So after searching for a few days up northward
in the forest where you recall seeing portions
of the tree canopy line shifting and seemingly
vanishing and then reappearing, you eventually stumbled upon a large wooden structure.
Circular and tall, almost like a giant crown of wood. It sat there and noticed that the mists
that hugged the base of this marsh, as it slowly recovering since Sondor fell, still thick marshland,
but not quite as disgusting and corrupt as it once was. The mists that clouded this area
were all gathering towards this wooden,
pardon this wooden structure.
And you began to see shapes in the mist
with like heads, faces, bodies.
And you began to realize that these were all the spirits
of the marsh being summoned to this structure.
You all went disguised as various small flying insect
or beast creatures and managed to stealth into the entrance doors,
into this kind of mossy marshery,
marsh-rotted wood structure and on the inside saw the mist form an audience within the inside
of this kind of globe theater-like structure upon which the central platform remained.
A strange crystalline spark began to form upon that stage where a doorway opened and stepping
from it. A half dozen elvish-looking figures, though their skin is pale, white, gray, their eyes
white and iriseless.
their limbs lice and thinner and longer than elves you're used to seeing in your experience.
And while none of you could understand, or most of you could understand the language, except for Echelothan-Tarian, I think it was?
No, we were the ones who could.
Yeah.
You guys are the only ones who could understand it because you both knew Sylvan.
Correct.
What you saw was a brilliant three-act performance for the undead spirits of the surrounding marsh.
unaware of the serious danger, if any of you had been discovered.
Do you tell Matt.
Yeah, I know. I want to know.
No, you don't know.
Go back.
Go back.
Aliets.
However, you watched the performance entirely.
Did not gather their attention at which the entity stepped back into a doorway and it closed off and you absconded from the theater
before the rest of the audience could shift its way out and become the mist to the forest once again.
forest once again. Did we miss their most sacred ceremony or something?
Do you know? I don't.
You only have what they told you.
You only have what I told you later is pretty much.
Yeah. So if you guys returned from this and described your experience to Percy,
Percy, the only person who really had spent a large portion of his youth
researching the Fay Wild and having an interest in these, these fake creatures in their societies.
He didn't want to go. He had things to come.
I had things to do. I wasn't entirely clear about
what you were planning to do. My God!
Sorry.
No, it's great. You didn't die or you weren't kidnapped.
Your soul wasn't taken.
Could that happen?
Yes, you watched the...
The Royal Troop of the Unsealie Court.
The Troop of the Unsealie Court.
For God's sakes.
Yes, a lot could happen.
They have these little vignettes on occasion
that they used as just sort of...
It's like a nice little trap.
They just like to grab people and use them for various things.
No one really knows because no one ever comes back.
Who are they?
The Unseely Court.
This one of the Shadow Court, I suppose.
They would be, for everything that you saw in the Fail Wild,
they are the thing that the Faye Wild is a little sketchy about and a little worried about.
Well, listen, man, if I can't have the arts in my life, I'd rather be dead.
I respect that.
And I'm very impressed.
and you're going to have to draw everything.
You're going to have to draw everything.
It's very important.
They looked like slenderman.
I don't know what that means.
Very tall and slender.
They kept singing about a technicolor dream coat.
I have a book about that.
All right.
So your adventure to finally find the theater complete.
I believe that concludes.
Your immediate ventures, Percival. Percival.
I had the least vacationing of anybody's vacation.
Of course you did.
I have technically been on vacation for many, many years.
I finally took the mantle of responsibility for,
not necessarily, I'm not ruling White Stone.
That's not how it works, but I did take on a lot of the civic responsibility.
You guys convert it into the chamber of White Stone,
which is less of a singular family ruling in more of a small series of
offices held by lords or ladies.
I hired someone to help run my workshop.
I was doing a lot of work.
Mornings at the bakery.
Afternoons at the workshop and then an hour and a half
every night enchanting it.
And then we drink.
Yeah, yeah.
It was later.
But didn't it feel good, Terry, to get your hands dirty?
I got this thing on my finger.
I was later told that that's what happens
when you work with your hands.
It's a blister.
Yeah.
So awful.
So with the help, I had time to start working on a few projects.
I finally made a new pair of glasses.
Well, I tried to make a new pair of glasses.
You rolled a one.
And then you rolled a one.
And then you rolled a new pair of glasses.
And then I rolled again and tried to make a new pair of glasses.
And then I realized that it's very, very hard to make a pair of glasses when you can't see what you're doing,
because you don't have a pair of glasses.
Warby Parker.
So then I eventually called Terry and said, please fix these for me.
And he made very, very nice glasses.
And I think they have your name inscribed on them.
They're really gaudy.
Thank you.
I don't know what you're doing.
Rose gold is the best.
White gold, please.
It's going to match the ice.
It's gonna match the outfit.
I automated the system for making shot and powder for the castle.
I created a royal guard that, and have been training a elite group of soldiers specifically to guard the family in the house.
They were the White Stone musketeers until Cassandra said that that was silly and said they're called the Rifleman.
The Rifleman of Whitestone.
They're the Riflemen of Whitestone.
Sure.
Musketeers.
I'm sorry, Percy, but no.
No.
I get vetoed a lot these days.
I began modernizing the city.
I have a wonderful dream of turning white stone into a shining beacon on the hill of what the future of mankind could be.
And the first order of business, one of two big projects that we've started to sort of bring
bring forth our reputation, is this modern city,
is we've been running steam pipes from the depths
through the main streets so that the snow never needs to be
uncovered so that the streets are always clean,
and a few of the major houses can be heated this way
during the heavy winters.
It's a heavy endeavor.
It's going to take a while to complete,
but it's begun work.
It's become work.
We're also trying to create some series of luminescent
illuminations, at least within the main castle,
in case the thing in the basement that was still
working on ever turns on us and suddenly we are unmagicked, which is a constant fear.
I've upgraded, especially with Terrians help he as well. He have upgraded several of my inventions.
I've had a proper sword of my family crest made. Finally got the glove more or less working.
More working, honestly, but I'll get into that later.
I've been desperately trying to get you to stop going out into the woods to search for that bloody thing.
I'm being a bit of a bit of fun.
I think covers quite a bit of it.
Yeah, actually.
Yeah, I think there's pretty much of everything we got here.
Would you kill in the year that you ate off?
Time.
Time and things in the woods on occasion.
How do you do that?
We go hunting.
And I also have been training men how to use their guns, so there's been a bit of that.
Boring.
All right.
You can catch Wiffelgolrick out in the woods.
You know, I have seen a wolf out and about, but he seems to do his job well, and I'm not going to stop him.
Technically an honorary member of the Greyhunt, I'd say.
Yes, quite.
All right. And Terrian.
Well, Terian had a great...
He had a great year.
Such a terrible person.
He had a great year.
You've heard much of what he's done.
Mainly just building and working and working and building.
In his spare time, he built and worked on things for himself.
Chief among them.
Doty!
Doety 2.0, take this down.
Terry?
Yes.
Oh, he fucking talks.
He talks.
Well, Doty, how handsome am I?
Derry. I heard very.
Doty, um, what do you say when it's windy outside?
It's airy.
It's airy.
That's what I heard.
Oh no, boo!
Terry?
Yeah, it is scary.
He says a lot of things.
It depends on the context.
You have to sort of figure out what he's saying.
But he can say that.
It can say one word.
It took a lot of money to do that, but it was worth it.
He's also, he's got a couple of upgrades.
He's got a waterproof slot for the book inside of him, so he can store my book and-
The door that opens it is also a crest.
The crest of Voxmachina right on his chest and blazoned there.
His arm works a little differently, his right arm, which we might see in some sort of competition at some point.
And his left arm has, thanks to Percival, Frederikstein von Musil de something.
Bless me.
He's got a little hole right here in his hand.
that, uh...
That you, never mind.
That was amazing.
Oh, that was a best winner.
You're gonna pay for that.
Oh, my God, I can feel the radiation.
Oh!
Oh!
Just change it.
Just a little hole.
A key interview.
About how wide size is you?
No.
Got some girl.
Got some girth.
Well machines.
But it can fire a shot, a bullet shot.
I've never used it before, but it can shoot something.
It can.
Once, and it takes a short rest to reload.
Yep.
And I think that's the major improvements to Doty,
other than the speaking and the other stuff.
See, what else did I do?
You told me one other thing.
Does that get jettisoned?
Oh, I also bought him.
I bought a lot of stuff. I'm almost out of money, guys.
But you're making some from the bakery.
You're asking money and also you're making money.
That is not what I would call money.
You are technically a civil servant as well, so you mean.
No, I'm talking about actual money that you can buy things with.
What you're buying and stuff, right?
I bought Doty a pair of boots.
The boots of...
Wow, that's a lot of courage.
Yeah, I bought a lot of stuff.
The boots of Elvindkind, so he's a little more stealthy when we go around.
I also tinkered with my armor, or did I have it tinkered on?
Well, you don't know how to make armor.
So you have the armor commission, yeah.
So you now have, using the remains of Wargall's hide.
No, sorry, you have Orgal, the remains of Umbrasil's hide.
Yes.
So I have breastplate armor that has black dragon scales embedded in it, right?
And it gives me a little more protection against acid.
And it also kind of looks cool.
looks cool, a little darker flare.
And I built myself so I could communicate with them.
I built myself a little earring.
It's a little different from yours.
It dangles.
And it's got a nice gem on the end.
Because if you're going to wear it at least look good.
Right.
And also, in my spare time at Vex's house, when she
She was asleep, you know, she's a snorer, so sometimes I would be awake and I would examine
her broom a bit and decided to make myself one too.
Did you really?
Yes.
Oh, no.
You made a broom?
Yeah.
You know we have a fucking flying carpet.
Oh, now we have two brooms and we can leave those fuckers in the dust.
That's pretty fucking cool.
We attached the brooms to either side of the carpet.
Oh, my God.
You have so many adventures.
You really have no money left.
I am out of money.
I have a teeny bit left, but I also bought some other things that you'll see.
He's not going to become White Stone's FedEx.
You'll see it in time.
Is it in time?
We're getting presies.
Are you back?
We're going there.
No, all right.
Is that the end of that?
And I wrote a lot.
Just a lot, a lot of writing.
I'm probably halfway through that book by now.
Awesome.
That's it.
All right.
Wow.
So as the month.
go by and you all have your individual adventures as you converse and talk amongst yourselves,
the date of Winter's Crest begins to creep on. Now, Winter's Crest is a, it's a, it's a day
that's really only celebrated in Tal'Dorei proper, like occasionally in other places, people
that migrated away from Tal'Dorei. But the event that it's based around, Erivon, the Ice Lord,
was specific to Tal'Dorei. It's not celebrated everywhere in the world. However, it is coming up,
and you all decided to celebrate your Winter's Crest Festival this year,
not in Taldore. You all instead made your way towards the Bay of Gifts in Marquette.
So.
Bannon suits, bitches!
Tropical vacation.
Now, how are you guys getting there? Are you taking a leisurely boat trip? Are you going via
we were leaving from White Stone, right?
We were leaving from Whitestone because we all gathered there for...
Yeah, we were having, because...
That's right. Before we even left there, you...
That's right. Well, before, as you were saying, it is,
It is based on that festival, and of course, White Stone has its own paganistic rituals dating back many, many years.
I've read about them.
Yes, you have now. This is so, kind of a...
I know all about it, and I will start telling you about it.
I have so many text files to send you. My word.
So, usually this time at the winter solstice is when we, especially when we have a new master or mistress of the Greyhunt, there is usually a celebration or a ball.
And they're not every single winter's festival,
but it does happen, but since this was the first,
we decided to have a fancy party.
And she was bestowed with her crest and otherwise,
and we all dressed up.
Did she get a dope crown?
You don't get a crown.
You got a cloaky thing with a medallion piece.
Mantle sisters.
Woo, whoop.
That you don't really have to wear.
It's just something you get to own.
But I also had a piece of jewelry commission for everybody.
I've already got one.
Kieleth helped you with this one specifically.
This one specifically because I had to go find our friend
in the fire plane.
Sitting here, yeah.
That's right, that's right.
Oh, yes.
Very happy to help you.
And we inform him that we buried his wife's ashes.
And I greatly appreciated you being so honorable.
Yes.
Thank you.
Okay, Percy.
What do you need from me?
Do your thing.
I have this design, and this requires some gemstones,
and I have a limited amount of dragon scales from five dead dragons.
And I was curious if you could make a hero's crest
that is built around these five dragon scales,
so that everyone who helped to slay these dragons
will always have a token that proves that they were there and they were one of them.
And then I also need one made without the dragon scales as well.
Understood. Right away.
You may leave now.
Do we come back in like two weeks?
He'll signal and you'll call. Thank you.
It's just like a, do we wait here?
Goodbye. Thank you.
Okay. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
You receive word via.
imp, strangely enough, which is, says you are for a moment there.
But you are notified of their completion, and they are delivered, finished by this imp.
So.
Beautiful. And at this, at the ball, I present all of these to you.
And each is just a bit individual, and they are crested in the gems and in the dragon scales
dragon scales to sort of give this, the color wheel of the red, the white, the blue, the green.
There's one that doesn't have the dragon scales, but it's just got this flourish around it, and we give it to Terrian.
Because these are meant to be built upon, and as we will build upon ours, your accomplishments will be built upon yours as well.
Thank you, Percival.
That's very kind.
Thank you, Percy.
Is it a pin?
Yeah, where they best affixed?
to not wear all the bling.
Anywhere you like.
Okay.
I don't wear a shirt, so.
It's right in your skin, growing.
I was going to just stab you.
Nipple piercing.
Right, then, nips.
Or you can use it as your piece clasp.
You can put it on your, there's any way you can put it
on the garment.
I use it to fix my mantle.
There you go.
Right, the center of the mantle right there.
It's going on my belt.
Just something so that in the worst case scenario,
anyone will always know who we are,
and we will know each other.
And this is, it can't be replicated.
There's no one else on earth who's made anything like this.
There's not enough material to make anything like this.
Ooh, I want to find my hairpiece.
And we've got to figure out how to start putting
your accomplishments upon yours soon.
Well, I hope to have an accomplishment to add to it.
You have several already.
You have, you've defeated Leviathan.
Sure, I did, I killed a married, right?
Yes.
You helped me unify the world globally?
I mean, go on.
You're a world-class enchanter.
Yeah, yeah.
Think of it much like your book.
Pike, what do you like about me?
So great at baking.
My perfiderales are really good.
What did we name the perfiderales again?
I don't think we had a name for them.
Profidirol for initiative?
Profitorlo.
Oh, no.
This is why he says in there.
Yeah.
Proffirrolo.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
You're fun to fucking drink with.
Thank you.
Your money.
Well, thank you.
Your hair is lovely.
It is, isn't it?
Yes.
It's very, shiny.
You're kind.
You're very giving.
All right, all right.
Now I'm embarrassed.
Thank you. Thank you.
Do-Die, you got all that?
Terry.
That's a say you.
So we just have a wonderful evening where we eat too much,
we drink too much, we dance, and we all look fabulous.
I'm only wearing the pointy helmet,
Percy's ascot, and his glasses.
And that's it.
No pants?
Well, I mean, I always have pants on.
Okay.
Not always.
Also, I am not always wearing the Raven Queen's armor.
I'm wearing some of Percival's loner cast
of Hamilton clothing right now for this part.
I, on the break, built a trapped box to slide under the bed
so that I can let my skin breathe at night.
He doesn't smell as moldy after a year.
I smell lovely. I mean, you know.
I've crafted him some oils with some herbs.
He's good now.
He's better. I helped him manscape a bit.
escape a bit. That's good.
Barely any hair on his body.
Oh.
Oh.
All right.
And as you guys, the ball is complete, you've all gathered,
your hangovers have faded, you all begin your trek towards the Bay of Gifts.
Yay!
Yes!
Are we sailing or are we bamphing?
That's up to you guys.
I'd like to sail. I need a vacation.
It takes me away.
Takes me away to where I'm all away.
Good a little nostalgia in that for you, yeah.
Yeah.
Because I've sailed there.
And we didn't go sailing with pike.
Teach us some sailing songs.
It'll be fun.
I'll teach you the ropes.
Oh.
Birdie.
And show us all the best gifts.
Okay.
I'll show you all the best gifs.
That's okay too. That's okay too.
Gifts of the week.
I don't say that.
I don't know what those are.
No, we were.
All right, so make your way to Iman then.
You charter a ship across the Ozmite Sea.
Chalmden.
And make your way to the continent of Marquette.
Now, in the northeast base of the Agrad Mountains of Marquette,
which consume a sizable portion of the continent's north shore,
there before you stands as it comes across the horizon,
a brilliant crescent-shaped bay of white sands,
glittering clear, turquoise-colored waters,
and the grandiose port city of Chamal.
Shamal.
Shamaw!
No.
Sorry.
Oh, my God, daddy.
Oh.
Oh, man.
Hundreds of ships fill the bay,
from small fishing vessels
to massive cargo ships,
bringing an ever-flowing mixture of cultures,
goods, and characters from across Exandria
to its sunny location.
Now, while back home, winter's crest brings season or rain and snow,
Here in the Bay of Gifts, the sky is clear, the water is warm, and the sun is ever shining
throughout the day. The streets of the city are draped in white and gold silks, affixed
and framing crossways and street corners between torch posts and buildings. The distant
sound of waves and seagulls cawing seems to envelop the city at all hours, occasionally
stem by the sounds of localized musicians. So as you arrived here, about midday or so, you
take in the nice, salty air into your lungs, you have your belongings, your sacks at your
The city is bustling.
What do you want to do with your vacation?
Oh.
What do we do with the vacation?
Straight to the house of Lady Faye.
Check on this.
I don't think I've ever done this before.
I'm not entirely sure.
I think we're supposed to just hang out and lay down in a hut
and hang out on the beach?
We need a place to stay.
Oh, yes.
Preferably a fancy location.
Oh my god, you've done this before, haven't you?
We used to summer in the beach.
in warmer climbs, that's right.
We've never needed you more.
Well, we should get some cabanas.
Yes.
I don't know what that is.
And some people to wait on us.
And we should, preferably near water,
swimable water.
You can just relax and tan and sip mojitos.
Do you have like a racial advantage
to find a place like that?
Vacations are my favorite terrain.
Did you just your humble ever white male ways?
The blood is blue.
I will certainly be of help.
I'm afraid I can't pay for us this.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is Vox Mokinus vacation.
All right.
This is a group vacation.
This is what this is now.
Well, let's find a resort of some sort,
or a relaxing spa or a...
Or...
My sandals.
Yeah, sure.
Sure.
All right.
So who's helming this journey here, the search for...
All right, make an investigation check.
I will help her.
Very luck.
I'm a terrible of this.
If you're helping her, then that's advantage for her on it then.
Oh my gosh.
Okay, well.
It doesn't matter. I rolled it.
The one that got away.
17.
17. Okay.
Roughly 20 or so gold later, you find the party affixed with the finest of Marquesian sandals.
Crocs.
And come upon a place that was referred to you as Dallens Closet, D-A-L-N-Postrophies closet,
which doesn't sound majestic, but when you're eventually led to where it resides, the best way I can describe it,
is a field of beautiful hammocks affixed to
various tropical trees and structures that are built out of driftwood, right next to a brilliant, bright white sandstone structure that appears to be the actual resort, if you will. It's a wide tavern, single story. But well-staffed and not terribly busy, but it seems to be very nice.
akin to some of the best places you've been to
in your previous excursions on vacation.
All right.
So as you arrive there,
you are met with a male, dark skin,
somewhat balding, Marquesian, halfling at the front desk
who smiles as you approach, he puts out his hands.
Welcome, friends. You are here for, I imagine,
to stay within the closet?
Yes.
Ah, I am Guas.
And this is for,
All of you? I will have to charge for your friend. I'm sorry.
Oh, well, he's not really a person, but...
You're lucky I'm not charging twice. He's a very big guy.
He doesn't eat, so...
Then I want all your food, but he's going to sleep somewhere, yeah?
He doesn't sleep. He doesn't sleep.
Well, then, is he okay with staying out on the beach?
Don't he, are you okay with staying on the beach?
Terry? He said very.
Okay, very well. So, that would be better.
about seven and a half.
Seven, we're going to seven.
How long are you planned to stay?
A couple of weeks?
A week?
Couple of weeks.
Ten days is really good.
At least ten days.
We'll get bored.
We might hop around.
We should be so long.
I know what he's about to do to me right now.
I mean, I know what math.
He starts doing math really quickly on the side.
He's like, what I said.
Nine days, you said?
Ten days?
Ten days?
All right. We'll put that at an even with discount for friendships, $1,500 gold for the entire stay.
Oh, well, and food is included, I'm assuming.
No, I'm sorry.
Where would we go eat?
Well, we have a restaurant within as well, and there are plenty places to eat around the way.
We are happy to bring it to your quarters, but there is a search for it, of course.
Are you going to do the thing?
Do what thing, darling?
Your thing.
Do you have any specials?
Your thing, you do.
Triple A discounts?
Three days, 10th night free situation.
Friends of Jemones old.
We do not run discounts here, unfortunately.
We are a very premier establishment here in the Bay of Gifts.
So, wish to stay or not?
1,500 gold it is.
We wish to stay.
We never spend money on ourselves.
We never spend money on ourselves.
We're not used to this.
Our time is worth far more than our money.
I'm older than on money, so let's just go with that.
That's true.
All right, fantastic.
So you pay over the $1,500, mark that off on the party?
I did.
You were giving keys?
How about some free drinks?
Hey.
Make a persuasion check.
Wow.
I mean.
This is the sandwich in time.
I mean, I'm, I'm.
This is training for your vacation.
I used to come here on a ship and we used to bring you guys a lot of supplies.
So, you know.
You know.
Natural number.
Wow.
That's true.
31.
What is your persuasions?
It's 12.
It is?
Oh, shit.
Why have we not a fucking point?
No, no, no.
Oh my gosh.
Maybe how about...
Oh my God.
If we don't get free food, what about...
Well, look, as you're telling us goes, well, I...
That's right, because you train in persuasion as part of the skills feed.
That's right.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
So your charisma is,
so I'm just making sure the math on this one,
make sure you get lost.
What's your charisma?
14.
14.
So it's plus two, plus eight,
unless you had something else to add it to persuasion.
Regardless, you rolled really high.
We'll go over the math later.
Okay.
I recognize you, but we've had many travolous here.
Travelers here, you seem, and he kind of looks over the group a bit, and especially the large
one. Free drinks. Why not? I'd be happy to give you this.
All right.
He just bought in the counter and brings out a couple of these small wooden coins.
And he kind of passes the mound. I was like, all right, that is a bad is seven.
It doesn't drink, you said. So that is just seven. There you go.
Thanks.
We said he didn't eat. He drinks.
So, seven for all of you.
Enjoy your stay.
We have any questions, requirements, issues, or anything, anything at all.
You let me know.
We can provide.
Okay.
It gives you your keys, leads you to you guys.
And they're, it's a, the rooms are clustered in like fours, like a little square,
like they're all adjacent next to each other in groups of four.
So there's two sections you guys are given
and square formation with small pathways, but all the walkways, all the walkways,
all the alleys between these all just lead right out into the beach.
Like there are no solid walls on any of the hallways here.
It's just the rooms that are completely closed off.
Everything just goes, you just step off into the sand.
This is amazing.
I'm already, I'm in love with this place.
We don't need to go anywhere.
This is it.
All right, so anything you guys wish to accomplish specifically while you're here?
No, just get drunk and hang out on the beach.
Yeah, I'm already peeling off my shirt.
Roll for lack of him.
Yeah, roll for fucking putting on swimsuits.
That's awesome.
That's great.
I have a gift to give to Vax.
I have a gift to give to give.
to give. Oh yeah? Because we're in the Bay of Gifts.
I've got my shirt up around my arms. What's up, buddy?
You know, we haven't talked much over this year since I've been helping your fucking sister.
My sister has locked you up, it's true.
But, you know, I've talked to her a lot about how you have this ongoing sort of teasing war with Grog.
Oh, yeah.
And I have acquired something for you to use in this battle.
Do tell, motherfucker.
What is it? What is it?
No. Use it when the time is right.
No. No, you are a sadistic bastard.
Oh my fucking God. Oh my fucking God.
I pull him into the tightest hug.
And I give him a kiss on his forehead.
You beautiful fuck, slap.
Let's go get in the fucking water.
And I just run off towards the beach.
That is the darkest thing I've ever seen.
That's amazing.
I think I know what it is.
All right, so as you guys shed your armor,
shed your weapons, put on your beach-faring clothing.
You all, one after one, begin charging way out
into the white beach sands of the Bay of Gifts
just outside of the city itself.
Are there any pool aerobics?
No, you're welcome to start one.
No, I'll join the brothers.
Grog, Grog, leave me like dirty dancing.
Boom!
Boom!
Do you are, do you wait to just do you wait to just
Does she get to the water before you do that?
Nope.
You are for a good 15 feet before you go,
face down into sand.
You're supposed to hold on, Grog.
Oh, shit lift, I did it.
Yeah, Kayla's right side and goes,
Who wants to go scuba diving?
Because we can, I can water breathe us,
and we can go look at the coral reefs.
Oh, let's do it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Okay.
All right.
Redo that.
We do that at some point.
Throughout the week.
Which, by the way, we're all discovering here now
all various relaxation elements of magic and D&D.
Which is not going to in the player's handbook is often.
Boy, how to.
But yeah, you guys manage to explore the majority over this journey
and multiple trips explore a lot of the underwater portion
of the Bay Gives, which includes a number of wrecked ships.
Oh!
That have, yeah, there's been storms.
This is a very, very prominent bay.
It's like the Bermuda train.
You do run.
into other individuals that are actually
either scavengers or pearl divers or people that
deal with gathering kelp and various other forms of plant life
off the ground for food or other purposes.
It's a very thriving ecosystem here.
The people that live within this bay utilize everything
in the vicinity, and you see that work here.
It's quite fascinating.
You see all walks of life and you all are pale as
fuck by comparison to the locals here,
living the sun most of their life.
most of their life. But everyone there is friendly. Your little white-ass beacons underwater.
Do we see any mermaids? There are no mermaids within this bay that you find. Sorry.
It's okay.
It's okay. Although I turn to Pike and Vex and I go, hey,
underwater tea party!
I'm not doing that shit.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not doing that.
I'm still trying to pressurize.
I want to find pearls.
Yeah, can we, you have a good thing?
All right.
Each of you who must go pro-living make an investigation check.
I want to go.
I want to go.
Can I look for shark's teeth?
That's fun.
I'm building a sand castle while they're doing that.
Okay.
Wait, what are you saying?
Investigation.
I'll help you with that sand castle.
Okay.
26.
Ooh, that's good.
I know.
I'm alive.
I definitely didn't find a pearl.
17.
21.
22.
You have no look under the water, but you do find a couple of shark teeth, at least with the lake shark teeth along the sands of the beach that have washed up on the shore.
Cool.
26, 26.
You don't, so what did you roll again?
21.
21. Okay. You do manage to find one pearl. It's small, but it's pretty.
You manage to find a pretty decent pearl. You're not entirely certain.
Make an intelligence check.
All right. I'm okay at that. Not today, though.
Oh, you're feeling lucky.
I'm not burning luck on this.
So, you've burned it on lesser.
I know, right?
I'm not burning it on this.
13.
13. Okay, you gather the pearl you found out of you
found out of your resolution.
150 gold-ish.
Hmm.
Spooosh.
Do you want this?
I don't. You can have it.
There you go.
I rolled 22 as well.
Okay, so you and personal both find
similar pearls, imperfect, maybe worth
10, 15 gold.
I don't want to set out.
I just want to have it.
It's pink.
Put it on the, I think I know how to pierce them
later we can put them on a row.
Lovely.
All right, and you roll a five?
I rolled a five.
I'm learning how to do it.
I found a boot.
That's nice.
You found a sea cucumber.
Oh.
Oh.
Is it the sea hair that's squirt the ink?
Not that type.
Okay.
It doesn't seem to have any sort of defense mechanism.
It just says there's sadly in her grasp.
By the way, I should probably toss out, because we haven't all been half naked together.
You know this, but some of you have, but not all of us together.
I still have this big mark in the middle of my chest, this black, vainy.
Yeah.
It's not like a pulsing tumor or anything, but it's just a dark spot.
It looks like a bruise that never quite went away.
F-Y-I.
Tattoo's looking good, though.
Terry, you know what I hear they do on beaches?
You like bury someone up to their head in sand.
Do you want me to bury you?
No, I hope you to bury you.
Hold on, and I just start like doggie digging.
Between my feet, I go into a rage.
You can walk away right now.
Big, big hole, right.
Yeah. What you don't notice is like another traveling couple
that's currently lying in the beach, but 15, 20 feet away.
Now I completely buried.
and stand with their dreams, like, what the hell?
In my rage. Get in.
All right, sure.
We're friends.
Yeah, totally friends.
All right, I'll step into the gigantic hole.
You step in, Dory Kudge watches you get inside,
not really having any opinion on this.
Sure.
Why didn't you pay for our rooms with all your money?
I've spent a lot of money.
How much?
A lot.
How much do you have left?
Not a lot.
I just start filling up the hole.
I stop, I stop, I stop.
Just as soon his arms are out, like that.
Oh, this is fun.
Yeah.
Should have taken my armor off first.
Are there any crabs on the beach?
All of you guys are beach trips except for Terry.
It was in his black scale.
I thought this was a formal trip.
Sand's gotten all in the metal joints and the inside of the armor.
You know the salt water is bad for the armor, right?
You should go change.
You should.
You should.
Doody, lift me up, please.
Terrian.
Oops you out.
All right.
Yeah, I know.
I feel like he said Terry.
Yeah, that's a simple.
It should have been Terry.
You catch.
Undress me.
Pulls off the breastplate,
starts taking off the armor pieces.
Yeah, you are now currently down to your skivis.
Great.
You want a bit of castle?
Let's build the best castle ever.
Fucking A man.
Do you know how to do that?
Do I know how to do that?
Are you trained in sand castle building?
I am a tinkerer.
Oh yeah, no.
And some of those tools make them in handy.
So you know what?
You know what? I'm gonna do on this?
Sandcastle rolls.
Yeah, we're making rolls for Sandcastle.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So, uh.
For this?
You're not for you.
You are in strength individuals.
This is going to be a dexterity check.
Ooh, okay.
And you're following his plan.
But so, so I'm going to use this.
I'm going to go to my history knowledge
and try to base it on one of the famous castles
from my youth.
from the Dwyndallian Empire.
From the Truscan Empire.
Well, Truscan area of the, I misspoke in the earlier episode.
The Dwendalian Empire of King Bertrand Dwendol.
Okay. Everybody looks over in Castle Ravenloft,
his tower above the beach.
Exactly, yeah.
So, make your dexterity check.
Teryan, go ahead and make your history check.
Oh, 16.
Great.
So you get the structure built, you map out the right kind of scale structure of this castle,
And you get about three quarters the way through it before Grog.
Doop.
Over to this.
What did you do?
I know, maybe we shouldn't, maybe we should have,
you know, let's just try one more time.
Okay.
What did we do wrong the first time?
Just be very careful, Grog.
Just, you know, because you were backing up
and I think he just knocked into it a little bit, so.
You putting this on me?
Well, it was probably Doty.
Yeah, it was probably Doty.
Probably.
Go walk over there.
Tammy.
Oh, he listens to me now.
Walks over, about,
10 feet.
All right, let's do one more try.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And really put some artistry into this.
We want a moat, we want defensive towers.
I'm gonna put a little alchemic fire in the middle of it,
so if anyone gets through the gates, they explode.
Wow, dungeons?
Of course.
We're like avligators in the moat.
Yes.
Let's do it.
All right, now make an intelligence check.
Okay.
Lay out the design.
Okay.
Just straight intelligence?
Just straight intelligence.
Thirteen.
That's still good.
It's not a very hard DC.
You're structuring on a sand castle.
Next, sure, check, yeah.
Come on, deal.
Keeping it real.
Five.
This one's bigger, and you're like, you're pretty, this one's coming on.
You're kind of glad the first one I'll flow it, because now you, this is me much better.
Yes, yes.
And just give you the idea.
God, fucking God!
I mean the central structure held the whole thing.
I'm getting a sunburn because we've been here for salt.
I think that was my fault.
You know what, just bury me again.
Just do that.
Just bury me again.
While that is happening, may I hide Terrian's clothing?
Wait, no, you're skin diving?
I mean, time is loosey-goosey, you're going on like
Duffles and Dragons here.
It's up to him.
Make a perception check.
All right.
Uh, 23.
You see the opportunity.
I'm getting them.
All right, so go ahead and make a slide of hand check.
Slide of hand check.
We don't even notice.
A gentle pass.
by choosing the right moment in which Grog is involved and rage-bearing, and Tarian has completely
given up on his activities, and you managed to just scoot through the sand and, like, moving
your hand behind you to kind of hide the trail, you drag his armor off back towards the resort.
Yoink! All righty. As you've been buried now sufficiently, and you've
way up to the head this time.
Yeah. Up to the neck, and you feel the sunburn.
and it's now starting to kick in a bed.
You're like, I need that helmet, don't he?
My helm, please.
The giant reflected piece of metal?
Yeah.
You're cooking that thing.
Terry.
What do you mean Terry?
Holy shit.
Where did it go?
Where'd it go?
Terry.
Don't tell me.
Where'd it go?
Terry.
Don't tell me Terry.
Your number one job is to take care of me,
and your number two job is to take care of my belongings.
What?
That stuff is worth more than you.
Terry.
All right, all right.
Just get me out of the hole.
My head.
Ow, ow, ow.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Let's go find my armor.
I'm just going to go look around for it.
Make a survival check, so you're now tracking.
Survival?
Yeah.
Oh, 10.
10.
Oh, no, that's a four.
So that's three.
I'm a negative one for survival.
I thought that was 11.
You spend the next hour asking from person to person on these white sands employees.
Sorry to interrupt your vacation.
Have you seen a lot of armor and a big golden helmet?
Nope. Okay, cool.
Does everybody speak common in this part?
A lot of people do.
The war is over and both sides lost.
Kingdoms were reduced to cinders, an army scattered like bones in the dust.
Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone
else tonight.
But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins.
This is old school adventuring at its most cruel.
Your torch ticks down in real time.
And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job.
This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the
decisions that the characters make.
This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back.
Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the Shadow Dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on YouTube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.
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It's one heck of a tale, which is good, because this story might be the only thing that
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Oh, well, if that's all, I can just dispose of you.
Wait, what?
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When the Chaotics are on the case.
I mean, it's, well, this bay in particular, because this bay is a bastion of trade.
They're all German tourists.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's a Swiss drop area. It's great.
But everyone here, everyone here, for the most part,
speaks Marquisian. A majority speaks some level of common.
I was just curious if you was just walking up to people and they were just staring going,
oh no.
They're probably a couple, but they probably understood him. They just didn't respond.
Beautiful. Eventually you find your way to the resort and you're tired, you're sunburned,
and you're exhausted. And you walk out and you see him in this state.
Yeah, and by the way, I went to the front desk and I asked which room Mr. Dorolo was staying in
because I wanted to put some of his belongings there. And I hid the armor.
in Percy Bex's right?
You better have been able to actually convince them that...
Which is what I'm about to get to.
That's what I intend.
Make a deception, Chuck.
This is what he said.
Luck for.
Here's where the luck is.
Yeah.
Persuasion, you say, that would be...
That was deception.
A deception.
Yeah.
That's a 20.
It's a 20.
Okay.
It takes a little bit convincing,
but eventually he sends one of the employees
to go along with you.
They let you into the room.
And now I'm coming back to the beach.
Okay.
So as you guys come to the close of the day,
you've been here for a few days
and as part of your excursion here,
you all come in as you've had enough time in the sun
and you probably need to get out for a little bit.
Terry.
Come here.
Yes.
While you were messing about with Grog,
Percy grabbed your shit and hit it.
Percival?
Yeah.
My dear friend.
He was traughtling the whole time.
I don't believe that he would do such a thing.
All right. I'll walk away.
Oh, God.
Let's go to Percy's room.
I'm gonna go knock on his door.
Are you in your room in the room?
Oh, God, no.
Yeah.
No answer.
I try the door.
It's locked.
Chime of opening.
Oh, I can open any fucking door.
Yes!
It's pretty bit all our camera.
It took us a year.
You were like a Swiss army knife of fixing all our problems and trolling.
Yeah.
We have to stay in route.
Oh, okay.
It opens up.
A quick glance inside, and there's just sand scatter all across the ground,
and in the far end, right next to the front.
bed kind of haphazardly jammed underneath,
you see your armor and belongings.
But we were science, bros.
How could he?
Don't he?
This calls for revenge.
Oh no.
What if his belongings are there?
Of yours?
Of his.
Of mine.
Of personal.
That would be, because you don't bring everything.
Well, my stuff and Vex's stuff.
Yeah, so both, pretty much all of Percival and Vex's
that belongings are within the room.
What are you in the mood?
Here, take a look.
Guns and ships.
Oh, God.
Guns swords, boots.
What can we do, Doty?
What can we do?
Terry.
Good idea, but a little bit too cruel.
Harry.
Yes.
Kill them all you say.
All right.
But they need their skin to live.
What are you gonna do now, Davy?
I'll go to my cloak and tear off the patch of two mastiffs.
Oh no.
They're just two big dogs, right?
Yeah.
All right.
And I'll just kind of throw some kibble all over the place
and just be like, go on, just chew everything up,
everything up and make a mess and pee wherever you want.
As you pull the patch and throw out the room, it glows a bright orange and
flashes and burns into two small, looks like coal like embers that when they slam into
the ground crack and open in from those two embers.
You see two full-grown mastives.
There's food in there.
Eat it all.
They both just start eating.
Scratch through everything you want.
They just go nuts in the place.
And use this as your latrine as well.
Well, one of the scene, the one goes,
and just pisses.
I'm one of the sacks, you're not quite sure which one it is.
Good doggie. Good doggy.
All right. You're free now. Just go away. I don't know.
Do you leave them in the room?
Do you leave them in the room?
Yeah, you can stay here, go, whatever you want. I don't know.
I just feel weird. I don't need a pet right now, so.
Okay. So you just leave them close to them behind you.
Yeah. Okay. All right, so you guys meet up again.
You get more drinks, you begin to wander the city.
Is there anything else you want to do
while you're out and about for the afternoon?
I want to get my hair braided with beads on the end.
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All righty, all right.
Hey, Brock.
Just the beard?
Yep.
Cheap, chute, chup.
All right.
You guys ask around about a half an hour or so
and you led to one location that it's, it's,
window list that has an open archway door with some fine purple and red silks kind of block
the entry as you walk inside. There's one woman who's sitting there in the process eating a small bowl of fruit.
You see she is a dark-skinned marquisian but elfling. She is elfin features. Her hair, which is this like dirty brown,
is braided rose that just go down past her waist and have a series of multicolored, looks almost like,
gems and rings and other cool pieces of jewelry
that are just woven into it.
As she's kind of looking at the small book
in her lab, eating the fruit turns around.
Oh, I'm sorry, hello.
Hi, could we get our hair,
yours looks amazing.
Could we get just some hair braids, you know,
tight and then going down with like some gems
and some sparkles in it and same here on his beard?
Oh, the beard.
I could do that.
Yes, yes, of course.
Poses her bum, set it down.
Yeah.
Come, sit.
And she leads you over in area.
Just raise the blades up in the...
She calls out in Marquisian for a moment, and a younger woman, probably about 15 or so, comes out.
Human dark skin as well, and to both begin to just start working on your hair and your beard,
asking about where you're from, it becomes a conversational piece.
She's through there for a good hour and a half or so to go through all of your hair and get it done.
and get it done. But nevertheless, you now have a fantastic series of braids in your hair, various beads and jewels.
It looks really good. Do you want to add any jewels in it?
Jewels? And just like earrings and stuff like how she has.
I just want the beads. Little beads and little braids. No jewels.
What about you?
I want all of it.
Everything?
Just all of it.
All of it? That will not be inexpensive.
Well, what does all of it cost?
I mean, to the extent, if you want more than what I have in mine, uh...
Well, no, no, let's not get carried away.
Do you want extensions?
My hair is already so long.
It is. Do you all the colored hair in there, too?
Let's put blue in there.
Oh, you wish to color. Ah.
Oh, well...
No, no, it's okay. It's okay.
Yeah, we're not. Fuck it.
You're all right.
She talks to her assistant, and the young girl kind of runs off for a second with a smile,
comes back, and there is a, looks to be some sort of a fruit, like a blue, looks like a blue
pomegranate that's partially crushed.
And she takes it and starts with a mortar and pestle kind of set up, just begins mashing
it and then and goes, they can do blue.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So finishing the whole endeavor between the two of you guys, you guys.
It's not inexpensive. Few things are in the Bay of Gifts. It's designed specifically to survive and thrive on the trade here. So for both of you guys, it costs about 120 gold.
Oh, shit.
Wow.
Not a problem.
So how does that break down?
For my hair versus his?
Oh, for any sort of masculine hair endeavors, which is not our specialty.
Well, the beads themselves are made from finely blown glass, and they're individually colored,
and those are then made specifically by an artisan who's about three blocks up that way.
So those are brought here, and those are purchased in Ireland as well.
So you're paying straight costs of the beads.
Time and training, of course, in our end, and we do the finest work you'll find all across Marquette.
Well, you know what?
Julie's Val-
I am a very big supporter of small businesses.
So support small business, and I will give you 120 gold.
The 20 is many for him.
The 100 was to give you the die-boring.
Oh, it's for both of you guys?
Oh, I thought it was 120.
I did too.
That's all right.
No, that's great.
So that's not bad.
I bet.
I mean, that's a lot.
It's still a lot.
But since you've gotten here, you get the sense.
I bet you'll overcharge it.
You get the sense it's by nature, everything here costs a little more.
So a lot of it's imported and a lot of it is designed for people that are willing to pay for importing it.
Great.
Are we supposed to tip?
No, she owns the business.
Are you there?
I have to do as much.
Just 120.
Very well.
So, I mean, how much blue did you want to get in your hair?
Say again.
How much blue did you want to get in your hair?
Just like, just some strips, you know, just some strips on the white so it just pops out.
Okay.
Just like, you know, dealer's choice.
Just get creative and do what you want.
All right.
Is it?
No, he's going to do it.
so I'm just gonna listen.
Okay.
So upon completion, it's very cool.
It's kind of pretty close to what you were hoping and expecting.
You end up with three streaks.
One central one that goes from the center.
And then two that kind of go from the sides in the bad spot.
That's way different than I expected.
Yeah.
And then all the tips go to blue.
So it's almost like you have almost like at least two blocks of white and then eventually it all goes below.
Imagine what that'll look like when your hair's down too,
because it'll be like blue all over the top and all kind of mixed in everywhere.
That's pretty.
Oh, yeah.
You guys, anything else we must have accomplished or call it an evening?
I think just get a nice dinner and then head back to the room.
You get ready to wake up in the morning and do all the things.
Shocking tomorrow.
Yeah.
Definitely some magically frozen daquries.
You guys all find you right back.
Just a big fishbowl of...
The sun has set now.
The cold night has come into the bay, but it's still warm.
It's cold by bay standards, but you guys coming from the northern ends and Tal'Dorei proper, it's still a pretty well.
It's still a pretty warm night.
You hear the waves crashing as you enter the establishment.
You all head back to your rooms,
correspond to get more evening attire.
Percival and Vex.
How long did the counts last for?
Let me look.
That's a good question.
It just says two mastiffs.
I think they just are.
It's not like a spell or anything.
They are two dogs that live now.
I am so excited.
I am so excited.
I'll live for much longer.
Yeah, okay, so as soon as you approach,
you guys near the door on the other side, this low growl,
this...
Nice?
I don't...
I don't...
And open the door?
Just like fucking on guard.
Okay.
You come inside to notice the entire interior of the room has been sundered.
Pillows and cloth torn and pulled everywhere.
The room smells and...
immediately a heaping piles of dog shit and urine.
The bed is scattered and torn open.
The pletonsman pulled down and there in the center of the room
are two massive mastiffs mating.
What?
I grabbed the door and shut it.
Did this.
It was either Grog or your brother.
There's really the only two people who could be possibly responsible.
I take off running to his room.
Okay.
I'm not missing this, I'm following.
Okay. Your doors open, grog. You're just there, kind of sitting down for a second,
just grabbing your jug. Getting a quick nip before your next nip.
Yeah. Minifredge.
And Vex just storms in, heaving mad.
Hey. Oh, hi.
Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like I should ask what, but the answer is probably yes.
The fucking dogs.
I grab him by his beard and drag him back to the
Percis.
Percival, as you catch up, she comes around the corner and
just dragging grog by the beard behind her.
Oh God, she's going to kill you.
I open the door and throw him in.
Chachoo, do this!
Oh.
What the fuck?
The dogs have stopped.
made at this point, one of them just comes over and just goes,
and just bites into your neck. There's nothing.
It just rests there.
Is this your fucking dog?
Is this your fucking dog?
No, we're not gonna get dogs from.
True.
Although I don't think this shit in pace is mine.
That's good.
Can I, what does the room look like?
What does our stuff look like? Is it ruined?
Your stuff isn't...
Not the magical items.
The stuff in the closet is probably...
Yeah. It's not, because you didn't just leave your stuff on the floor there.
You had things put away inside the cabinets and stuff, and the things that were in the cabinets were fine.
So most of your general clothing is all right.
It's more like your sacks, your, you know, anything that was kind of just loose, your boots.
All just smell of dog piss.
I don't even get any... I take off to the front desk.
Okay.
Can I let the mastiffs have a couple licks from the alchemy jokes from the alchemy jokes?
full of beer that I was missing out.
They do have a look.
Drunk dogs.
Big old mast of tongues.
I'm gonna go find Max.
Okay.
As you rush off to the front counter,
you can see Guath, the half Marquisian, is still there.
He's in the process of going through the books
and making sure he's keeping everything tidy and he sees you a bunch.
Oh, hello.
Is there anything about it?
Who?
Hi.
Who is in our room?
Did you send anyone to our room?
There was...
Yes. Yes, there was...
Who was it?
The other one, it looks like he came by and said that he was supposed to put the...
We had to send...
Yes!
He said he had to put things in the room where we were you...
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
If this is a problem, we can't call the...
Do you wish to call the guard over here?
I didn't...
Facts!
And I got running.
Where's the Vax? Where are you? Where are you?
I'm in my room.
I have just turned the corner towards Vax's room.
I'm probably just now in my sight.
I just-
I just-shadowed you guys. Now it's not a good time.
Trinckin is off with me, we're ready to fucking fight.
He's out of my necklace and we're taking off toward dyes.
Do you say you're coming to the room?
You are dead.
Can I hear this?
I mean, practically.
We can all hear this.
I can too.
Yeah, you can't.
We're all going to make it our way over to the box's room.
I want to go back into the bathroom, I think that my sister is.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Kyrith!
I've put some clothes on.
I guess I will as well.
I feel like we're in trouble.
Not you.
Okay, okay.
What?
What the fuck did you do?
Why the fuck would you do that in our room?
What did I do in your room?
Um, destroyed it!
Why would I destroy your room?
on the first day of our vacation.
Did you, did he, did you, why would you?
I wouldn't.
What are you talking about?
The dogs, shit and piss everywhere.
I know you were in our room.
There are dogs?
Are they, what kind of dogs are they?
Why don't you come with me and I'm going to go show you while they talk?
Okay.
Are you cranking me? What are you talking about?
I just yank your hair.
Ah!
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Do you have to be more specific.
Dogs shitting and ruining everything in our room.
What the fuck are you talking about dogs?
I don't have any dogs.
I don't have any magic.
I can heal a little bit and that's it.
What are you talking about?
They're not even magic dogs.
They're just dogs.
Can I roll for, but just see if he's fucking telling the truth?
Make an inside check.
I'll make my deception check.
Kiki, we've always been friends.
He's been friends.
Yeah.
In France.
I want you to know this is nothing personal, but this is...
Is that your second luck there?
That's the second luck, yeah.
What are you trying to do?
Convincer?
And I open the door and show you.
Yeah, you see he's covering up.
And then I shut me in and shut the door.
I know you were in our room and I know you're lying to me.
I was not in your room.
I am not lying to you.
I don't like that.
I don't like it.
What are you?
Sick him.
Oh.
Oh my God.
At this point, actually, she's not.
I told you out to the hallway you now see.
The bear you've grown up with and loved
for the first time, really,
you realize how massive and scary this bear can be,
is it?
I couldn't be happy.
Oh, that's a good bear!
That's a good bear!
I took my boots of haste.
You're fucking just making a second ago.
Trinket charges you.
Did he leave the boots on?
Trinket charges you.
This is improvisation.
If I say it, it's real.
That's how this fucking.
You're putting on your boots?
So what are you doing?
Trichet's coming out.
I'm running in my boots.
All right.
I have the back of his head.
I have his hair.
I disengaged.
Hold on, hold on.
Yeah, she does have your hair.
Yeah.
Technically it's a grapple.
Okay.
You want to make it a strength check?
I know my strength is double hers.
Your strength is double.
It's athletics versus her.
Oh, acrobatics.
Okay.
Versus my strength.
I should remember this, but for this one to go and make sure that they have specifics right here.
This is so great.
Forget rolling for Sandcastles. This is it.
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
This is the craziest shit.
You know, I didn't expect it to go to this far.
I kind of vaguely wonder what you actually had planned for this, because this is...
Not all this.
This is bedlam at this point.
Not all this.
This is what you're in a whole different direction.
This is why I love D&D.
This is why I love D&D.
This is why I love...
Okay, yeah, so it's athletics or acrobatics versus her athletics.
All right, well, I will choose.
Remember the dead acrobatics that played in reverse?
That's what this is.
So go ahead and roll your acrobatics, roll your athletics.
It was almost good.
29.
Six!
You slip up from her grass.
Reddest drink it comes upon you.
All right, what's your speed?
Fucking wicked, man. I'm double speed, so 60.
You don't have your boots on.
You just put your pants on.
No, come on.
You're just putting your pants on.
All right, 30.
Okay.
Trinke's movement is.
Oh, he's got, hold on this note.
90.
Trinket is gaining on you.
Ooh, shit.
You watch as an older couple emerge from a room down the hallway and go,
Nope.
Close the door.
I see food trays left by other customers.
I start knocking him down and dumping food on the rug behind me as I run.
There are food trays.
It's real.
There's small buckets.
I mean, the small baskets.
I said I saw food.
Yeah, so you knocked the food back.
So you knocked some baskets behind you and you keep running.
You just emerged from the edge of the hallway.
You can see the beach ahead of you.
You can see the little bit of moonlight hitting the sand in front.
What's around me?
What's around me?
Just hallways indoors.
Is our room nearby?
Did he see if you get shoved in?
He wouldn't have seen you get shoved in?
but he would have seen me in the hallway at this point if he passed it.
You guys, you moved her out. I'd say you moved one direction. Trinket went and chased him down the other side.
So this is going away from you guys. You're watching this.
Hey Vaxe, I think they're really mad at us.
Little busy, little busy, little busy, little busy, little busy, little busy, little busy.
Just as you emerge to the part of the sand and you think you're home free, you stop hearing Trinket's foot falls.
Blept and just impacts you on the sand and both of you just tumble,
end over end through the sand.
Eventually you land flat on your back and trinket
pounces on top of you, your breath is your chest
closed in.
And just right up in your face, just holding you down,
just putting you down going, I immediately start doing this.
What is that?
This is me rubbing his tummy.
Oh.
Don't fall for a trinket.
You are pinned by a very heavy bear.
And like to the point where even just breathing it's like,
You hear from under the bear,
I have been here before and I will be here again.
Why would you do it?
Do what?
It's such a beautiful vacation and you ruined it,
you ruined all of our things.
Did I ruin it?
What did I ruin?
I still don't know what happened.
Fax, you let two dogs loose in our room
and they shit and pissed all over everything
and our bed's ruined.
They were fucking in our bed.
I did not fucking let two dogs into your room.
Then what did you do?
I know you're in our room,
I know you're lying to me.
I was there for five seconds.
I put Terri and I put Terri and I left.
I was in there for 30 seconds.
I don't have any dogs.
I don't know dogs.
Why would you put Terriens armor in our room?
Because it was fucking hilarious.
Wait a minute.
So, the tronliest thing you've said ever.
Did you tell Terry?
I did.
So Terry did this?
What happened?
Someone let two giant dogs loose in our room
and they destroyed our things, just destroyed it.
And now, on top of having everything ruined,
we're probably going to have to pay for damages,
which would be coming out of your funds, by the way.
That's the funniest bit because I have no money.
Well then Keyliff.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Stay on him for a while.
Just for a while.
Feel free to relieve yourself.
Triggins head slowly turns over back towards you with like a, what?
Just a little time.
And as you walk away, Triggett's head moves back to you and just kind of, if you can see a bear smile.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When she's gone and it's just us, I say, she thinks I care.
I don't care.
Does she let you kiss her?
No, she doesn't, but you get to kiss me all you want.
you want, so have had it, buddy.
Drink your nose.
It's all right.
And you feel your lower regions get warmer.
Oh.
You got this done.
I've been inside a dragon's fucking stomach.
I don't care.
The beach is 50 feet that way.
There's a lot of all right now.
All right, so while you're pinned there, you march off.
You guys just now catch up to the chaos.
I have to say, wherever these dogs came from, they're very beautiful dogs.
Look pure bread. Very great muscular structure.
Come here, boys, come here, come here.
So Keila's currently getting the mastiffs out of the room.
Can I speak with animals to them?
Yeah.
Okay, come here, boys, come here, come here.
I take out some beef jerky.
Come here, does a good horse.
Hiding in here.
Where?
Did you have beef jerky when you would just...
Fis jerky from where we were at the casino earlier.
Oh, snap.
Listen, man.
And Lee, Leigh O'Brien said, it's improv, so that's
That makes it true.
I'm just wondering where she was keeping your feet of.
You fucking made up that you were hiding in crystal clear bathwater, motherfucker?
If you say it, it's real!
Right, so just like the internet, if you say it, it's real.
It wasn't a bubble bath.
Come here, it was a little.
Nobody said it until you said it.
Handling.
Oh, it smells, ooh, you boys.
Did a number in this room.
A little animal handling here.
Okay.
Okay.
I've got to have some of the baby.
I've got to have some advantage for being a fucking druid, right?
No.
Nature is animal handling.
So you say, come here, boys.
They both look at you.
Go here, boys, come here.
They rush up, grab the jerky out of your hands,
and then just dart out of the room out.
And you're going, just vanishing.
Fuck these dogs.
That's why you said we should never own dogs.
Pieces of shit.
I'm getting night cream put on me by doing it.
Doty, could you sing to me?
Terry, Terry.
I like this one.
It's all the same.
It's all horribly mechanical sounding and echo-y.
It's not singing more than just repeating your name over and over again the same intonation.
It's horrifying.
Terry.
You're going to have to help us clean at least our personal belongings.
I didn't do this.
I know.
I'm more than have to have to have to.
to help, but I just want you to know I had nothing to do with this.
Oh, I know. I know you had nothing to do with this. He's useless, you're not, so I'm going
to make you help on his behalf.
It smells like the shit, like giant fucking locker down shit in here.
Worse than hell. Legitimately worse than hell.
This is making me miss hell.
I'm gonna cast control water. Can I, okay. Can I like, can I magic this cleanup? Like it's like,
That is presiditation.
That is presiditation.
No, can I control water and like levitate the urine?
Ew.
Yeah, totally.
You know what?
Yes, I'll let you do that.
I will let you control urine.
Okay.
With all your years of druidic...
I'm the leader of my tribe and I am doing janitorial duty.
After completing your Aramente after years of training in the juridic arts and coming to leader of your people, you are reduced to lifting the urine
from a ruin hotel room.
I would like you to meditate upon who is responsible for this.
Fucking fox mocking a piece of,
why am I, why are we us?
This is your boy, I'm taking no responsibility for this one.
Okay, I control the water and like fling it into the ocean.
Okay.
I'm hearing all this over the earring and I whisper only to trink it.
I'm back, Trinket.
I'm back.
I control a little bit of the urine.
The urine that kind of dribbled in the hall as well. I don't want us to get kicked out by the hotel.
It's easy enough to do. You can do it. It's fine. I mean, the room's still destroyed. And we'll save for the sake of brevity here.
Some wild dogs attacked our room.
Who's talking to the manager about this?
Wild dogs.
Percy is.
I'll speak to the manager.
All right, so. Wild dogs. Wild ocean dogs. Beech dogs.
So at this point all this has happened, Guath, the gentleman at the front,
sees the bear, and he was like, what is going?
The dogs go, oh, ha, and the dogs go,
and she went past me.
He was like, a little, like,
slightly chubby, halfling self-clinous force.
What the fuck is going on?
You tell us, man.
No, you tell me this is my place.
Whose dogs were those?
We have no idea.
We came back, and they were in our room
pissing on our stuff.
Deception, check.
This is not deception.
You know who they are.
I actually do I know who's they are?
You've been hearing it over the earing this whole time.
But we don't know where they came from.
We still know where they came from.
That's true.
No one said.
That's true.
I'll do deception.
I'll do deception.
That's fine.
Persuasion?
Okay.
Well, you don't know.
You're right.
No.
Discients.
Nope.
No.
God damn it.
Honor yourself.
I'm honoring myself.
It doesn't matter.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's 27.
I mean, I mean, it was upsetting.
Like, your property, our property, this is our problem.
All of us.
Let me see how he kind of pulls past and makes his way
towards the room and looks inside and you can see him go,
Oh.
Has this happened before?
No.
I've never seen those dogs here before.
Like the breed, they don't exist.
I had never seen them before either.
I've never seen anything like it.
This is so old.
Mears had it.
How good of a job did you do on our stuff?
Is it relatively?
It's still torn and messed up in places, but at least it's not covered in urine.
It still smells terrible in there.
Your clothes and your cool shit is fine.
I know.
It's pretty.
It's hardly your fault.
This is ridiculous.
We'll get you in the room immediately.
And, Kaisman!
And two servants come out immediately.
He starts like shouting at them in Marquisier and they walk off and
Eventually, people start coming and pulling your stuff out of the room and taking it to another chamber.
It's down, like, two halls over, so you guys are separated from everybody else.
We have a lot of foreign guests as well in our establishment back home, so I know how things can sometimes get a bit crazy,
and I certainly don't want to put any undue pressure on that.
Oh, it's okay. We will launch the investigation immediately.
Excellent.
So, thanks to anything else you want to do.
Yeah, I want to go knock on Terry's door.
You hear through the doorway this is really creepy.
Terry.
I'll take off my blinders, my night blinders.
Does they actually have little cucumbers drawn on them?
I'm mad.
Come in.
Do you have dirty singing to you again?
Oh yes, he sings me to sleep now.
Sort of a ritual we have.
I shut the door.
Did you have a nice night, little elf girl?
I didn't, Goldie. Actually, happened to, um...
Did you happen to set a couple dogs loose in our room?
Well, between you and me, I did.
You see, Percival played a little bit of a prank on me, and I got him back.
Yes, well, you also got me back.
Oh, what?
And actually, it wasn't Percival, it was my brother.
What?
Who did it?
Stole, Your Honor?
But he told me that it was...
Yes.
He told me.
Yes, and you believed him over your two best friends.
I'm gonna get it.
You've taught me so much.
Mm-hmm.
But not about the human heart.
I am so sorry.
I should have trusted you.
We should have.
I should have not doubted my staunchest ally, Percival.
Of course, someone as trained as he is in the sciences wouldn't lie.
to me like that? I failed you.
Terry, no, I can't stay mad at you.
I'm so sorry.
Talk, talk, touch.
What can I do to make it up?
I don't know. I have to go.
I know. Doty, go clean their room.
Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, it was disgusting.
But your brother.
I know.
Trinket peed on him.
Trinket peed on him?
Yeah. Well, that's pretty good.
Yeah.
I feel like there's
More revenge to be had, but you know what? We're on vacation.
Over their earrings, they hear, he also dropped a loaf.
He also dropped a loaf, apparently.
That's nice. All right.
Well.
I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?
Of course I do, dear. Have a wonderful night, Sneat.
You too. I'll send Doty back when he's done.
Thank you. He can last forever.
So just as long as you need him to, he'll wash him.
He'll wash whatever you need, he'll repair.
He has motor skills, not fine motor skills,
but he could try to sew something if anything was ripped.
I'll check it out, I'll let you know.
And if you ever need more dogs.
You're the man to quothal.
Yeah, I see Doty appear, correct?
Yeah, in the Hoytie.
They're going to take our things, I know why you're here.
They're going to take our...
Just walks past you.
Enteres the room.
Are our things even in our room?
anymore?
So your things are being brought out in pieces, but the two employees see Doty in turn and go,
set them down, and Doty just starts picking things up and dusting them off, starts picking up
the piles of dog pieces and walking out the hallway with them.
Tell them off.
I'm sorry.
Call him off.
Call him off.
Call him off.
Call him off.
He's cleaning your things.
No, no, no.
We're getting another room.
Oh, what is he throwing away?
What is he throwing away?
He's throwing the...
Oh, he's throwing the things away?
I don't know if you think about.
I should have been more specific.
I don't think he's a very sanitary.
This is my earring, by the way.
I know.
This is how I have to talk with it.
I have to dangle it.
I know you have to fiddle your dangle.
I'm well aware.
All right, I'll be right there to give him more specific instructions.
Let him go to sleep.
We're going to sleep.
I'm coming.
No, please. Can you improve the reception by moving it around?
Okay. Over the course of the evening, the room gets clean as best as it can.
We do not tell them what our new room number is.
Oh, no. All right. You guys, from that point being the most contentious,
but you managed to enjoy the rest of your stay here in the Bay of Gifts. You enjoy a nice, well-earned vacation.
Some of you plotting the next stage in your vengeance.
whenever that may occur.
I'm gonna get it.
And then boarding your ship back, making your way to your home in Tal'Dorei,
cross back to White Stone proper to finish the remainder of your year's journey.
We're gonna take a break.
Before I go real fast, letting you guys know, we have another giveaway tonight.
This is a nice purple heart wormwood mini holder, which is pretty rad.
Is that what I have?
Yeah.
I love it.
It's so pretty.
the best color. It's so cool. It's pretty rough.
It's kind of like rose gold, therefore it's the best.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah, so this is going to go to one of you got lucky winners in the chat.
The code word Fortnite is Momo. M-O-M-O-C-O-N.
So go ahead and we'll do that over the break.
Enjoy Liam's episode of Signal Boost.
It's playing over the break.
It's so good.
Man, that was pure Dungeons and Dragons.
I took a little pebble and dropped it,
and it turned into a full.
friggin avalanche on the side of Everest.
That was amazing.
That was amazing.
I wasn't expecting that to become our beach episode.
Me, but it did.
All right, guys, we'll see you in a little bit.
Welcome back, everybody, to Critical Role.
First and foremost, winner in the chat room
goes with the name of Make Love Like War.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
You won the Bob,
the box we've all signed and that'll be coming to you in the near future.
Make sure to contact the folks who are on the chat here and get your information.
And well done.
Woo!
All righty, so bringing us back into the venture.
You guys have been traveling across the silver cut roadway through the dividing planes of Tal'Dorei,
onward to the Alabaster Cierras, and eventually to the homestead of Whitestone.
You guys have made your way back.
We can catch up on so much gossip.
Right.
So you arrive.
What do you want to do?
Actually, now that we're home,
I would like to try and find Pike
once we're like in and settled.
So guys all get settled.
You find your ready to your rooms.
The afternoon comes so close to the evening
and everyone's kind of gone off to do their business
and prepare for a dinner we'll say in about an hour.
Cool.
Hey, hey.
Oh, sorry.
Hello.
Hey, it's grown.
Oh, come in.
What?
Okay.
My talk.
Hey, hey, hey, so can I shut the door?
Can I shut the door?
Yes.
Okay, shut the door.
So I have a secret.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
Okay, so when we beat Thorac, right,
I was like rummaging around and like all of a month's,
like, treasures were in this one,
and everybody was like, me, we want to hear.
And I found like these little gifts,
and one of them was like this little itty-bitty deck of cards.
I know, right?
Now here's the thing.
Just, it was in a really pretty box,
like wooden box with gold all over it.
And I tried to open it once, so I smashed it.
Oh, naturally.
Like you do.
Yeah.
And I took it out, and I drew a card from it,
and this magic sword appeared in my hand.
So something magic.
It comes out of it when you pick one?
Can I pick one?
Do you want to?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I also went and I was like journeying around.
I went to Vasselheim.
Now here's the thing.
Vex was like, no, don't pick one, it's dangerous.
Wait, it can be dangerous?
Well no, she's afraid that it's dangerous, right?
Because like the sword, it like kind of turned to rust
and I got a headache afterwards.
Whatever.
Okay.
Yeah, but I think like I didn't handle it
but I went to Vasselheim and I had this other guy pick a card, you know?
Okay.
And he picked a card. He got two wishes.
What?
Just like that.
This sounds like the best thing ever.
I know.
He's the lord of the cruddy roads, crossroads.
The crossroads.
Yep.
He's rich.
He had a servant that appeared out of nowhere.
All of a sudden he had fucking dope-ass threads.
Should we, whoa.
Should we pick a card?
I mean, I feel like we should.
I've seen nothing but good things happen.
Wait, what do you mean this sword gave you a headache, Grog?
Well, I don't know.
So like it was a magic sword, right?
And I was gonna be able to throw it,
and it would like fight without me.
Like it would just fight things that I told it to.
Was it evil?
No, I tried talking to it,
and it didn't say anything.
Okay, because that's a, that's a red flag.
I know.
I have a history of, you know.
So it didn't talk back to you.
Nope.
It fought on its own.
Yep.
The guy that you met, you made him just rich and amazing.
Yeah, pretty much.
I think it's like a deck of fortunate things.
A deck of fortune?
I think so.
I mean, I don't, I haven't really looked at it too closely.
Do you want to look at it with your knowledge?
I mean, I don't, yeah.
I'll look at it, I don't know if I have the knowledge,
but I'll look at it.
All right, I'll give it a deck.
Okay.
All right, make an Arcana check.
Oh, come on, Pike.
Okay. This could go so well. It's a box of White Castle.
Natural 20. Oh. Wow. Wow.
Oh. Okay. Oh.
Well, yeah.
But what's your skill?
What's your skill bonus?
Plus one.
Plus one.
21.
Okay. You take the small sack that contains the cards and
You kind of pull the deck out a bit and you inspect it from the outside.
I'm just checking the inscriptions.
And you've heard things about magical decks of cards.
Sometimes they're used to see the future.
Sometimes they're used for, you know, different terms of augury and divination.
You might have heard a myth or two about a card deck that can alter reality in good and bad ways.
and that's as much as you are able to glean from this.
Can I tell which cards are good and which cards are bad?
No.
Just checking.
I figured the answer would be no.
But you do know from looking at this,
while the name doesn't come to you, like you're able to ask you,
this seems to be very, very in line with the fate-altering deck of cards,
the one you've heard that can do good and bad
and it's powerful and dangerous, as it is interesting.
I feel like heard of something like this before.
Really?
But sometimes you can choose a card that will do very bad things.
Oh.
So it's like a, you know, 50, 50 chance that you could get something very good.
Like you have your fortune change, you become a king, all of this thing.
Or you make like a bad person a king.
Or maybe someone you could just die instantly.
Really?
I don't know, maybe.
Something along those lines.
We're good people, so good things would happen to us.
Oh, it just sounds so fun though.
I know, right?
And think about my previous experience.
There is nothing bad that has happened in what I've seen so far.
Oh, God.
Oh, I don't know what to do.
This is just a, well, do you want to pull on,
Or should I pull one?
Or should we not?
I don't know.
I mean like, I kind of wanna, I mean, so like bad things, like.
What could be that bad?
I mean, if someone were to die.
How could it kill you, like just outright kill you?
Well, if you die, I can't do a spell.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if we should.
I don't know if we should.
We should test the fates.
We should flip a coin.
Let's flip a coin.
Okay, do you have a coin?
Yeah, I have a coin.
Oh, you do?
That was lucky.
All right.
We should test the fate.
Let's flip a coin.
Do you want me to flip a coin for you?
You can roll a coin to flip?
Do you want a coin to flip?
One to ten.
Oh, yeah, no, we have coins.
We have coins.
I've got one on hand right now,
Biotches.
You want to do it.
Zip to you guys.
This is entirely your call.
Ugh. Here it is. What if all the good ones are going to be.
Coming in. There you go. Okay.
What if all the good ones are good?
Heads or tails? Okay, so one size says 20, one size says one.
So maybe the one is a heads, because that's all bad in the heads.
But the tails the booty, so.
Okay.
We're good.
Wait, but what is what? So what?
20 we pick a card.
20, we don't pick a card.
20, we don't pick a card.
20 is sensible, one is ridiculous.
You are not here.
What do you feel like?
What do you feel like?
One, we pick a card.
20, we do pick a card.
That's both of those.
You said we pick a card both sides.
That was Frodoidian's lip.
Yeah.
Okay.
One, we pick a card, 20 we don't.
Okay.
Who picks the card?
We should we...
We should put that too.
Okay, I'm gonna check it.
Oh, we don't pick a card.
Yeah, but that was for you.
You flipped and now I flip.
Okay.
Oh, you don't pick a card either.
You know what?
It's safer this way.
It is?
I think so, because what if we would have gotten something bad?
Do you want me to hold on to it?
Or do you want to hold on to it?
I'm just afraid you're gonna pick it and be alone.
I might.
No, I want it. I really want it. It's really important to me. Do not pick it alone.
I've made this promise before.
Who did you make the promise to?
Well, you lived your life while you want to.
Your promise was different. You said alone. So if I really, I'm like, I need to, I come to you.
Yeah. And we pick it. Yeah. Okay deal. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. You should
You don't want to just like slide one out and just like a do.
Just take a beat?
Yeah.
No, all right, right.
I want you so bad.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh.
That is fate helping us.
I know, I know, I know.
I was like watching an eight-year-old juggle a gun.
Yeah.
Too close.
Just touch the electric fence.
Another 20?
Oh, yes.
Okay.
Oh, they're not no wreaths.
I appreciate.
They both want to do it so bad.
I know.
So moving on from that scene.
Before we're going on from that scene.
We'll say for the point in the end of a couple of weeks go by,
relatively unimpactful.
Oh, I get my circle.
You do, yeah. The teleportation circle is complete.
Whoa.
Hey guys, we can go to sing on whenever we want.
We won't.
Radge.
Right.
Question is, do we want to?
Probably not.
Oh man, can I go check back in with the sentry while I'm here?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
So you walk on down to the center of White Stone, which is now far more full of life and bustling.
A lot of the buildings that line the square have little flower boxes underneath the windows.
Color is returned to it.
Still it keeps somewhat moody gray sky as a large portion of the day, but it's a lot of the day, but it
overall, the city itself seemed to have spung the life
over the past years. So the sun tree is beautiful.
It's still a vastly bark visible tree,
and it has that kind of like an orangish-brown color
across it, smooth in most places,
a little more textured towards the bottom.
But you see the very lush green leaves up into the boughs.
You can see little bits of white flowers
that kind of year-round reside up in the top.
and it stands there before you in all of its magnificence.
I come up and say, hey, Sun Tree, casting sweet with plants, of course.
Okay.
Hey, Keyless.
It's been a while.
It's been so long.
You're looking so good, so healthy.
Thanks. I've been eating right.
Yeah, it looks like, yeah.
It's been good.
It's been good.
It's been working out.
It's good.
As much as I can.
You know, I'm a tree.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
How has it been like a white stone seems so much
Better seems so happier. Has morale been up?
I mean, yeah.
Yeah? Yeah?
There's kids and stuff.
Yeah? Yeah.
Do the kids sometimes climb in you?
Yeah.
Do you like that?
No.
No? All right.
No, it's uncomfortable.
Really?
Yeah.
Should I, like, put like, a do not climb sign on you?
Would you like that?
Would you have to nail it into me?
No, I could stake it in the ground kind of around you.
Yeah, it's fine.
Okay.
But thank you.
I appreciate the offer.
Anything to make you more comfortable, man?
Hey, appreciate it.
Yeah.
You're great, you're great.
Oh, thanks, thanks.
Anyway, all right, well, is there anything else you need
or wanna, any new news, anything going on?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Glad the snow and the stop.
Right?
That winter would last forever, right?
It's hard to keep these blossoms up through the wind
Let me tell you.
Oh yeah, but you're still good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How are you doing, Kiki?
Oh, you know, keeping busy, keeping on, keeping on, you know.
It's been good.
You're like the coolest person I know in your tree.
It's weird, even after like a year.
It's like talking to an old friend, it's good.
If I could blush.
Hey.
It gets a little rosy.
Oh, look, some of these flowers
getting a little pink sun tree.
Don't point it out, it's embarrassing.
So, hi.
Yeah, no, that's all, that's all.
Actually, it's getting a little awkward now.
It's gone on for a little long.
I'm glad you brought that up.
I didn't want to reach the subject.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want to make sure you were cool.
Yeah, no, I'm cool.
Awesome.
Okay, I'll see you around.
Okay, bye.
Okay, I'll see you around.
Hang up.
It's gonna be a while before you guys call again.
It's really a little, I'm gonna wait for him to text me first.
Yeah.
It's the rule.
Long time.
I don't know what they're looking at.
I don't know either.
Yeah.
Random.
Part way into the day.
of the day, the same day you've been doing this,
and the bakery's been going fine, which actually,
Pike and Vex, you've been in the process of kind of,
like, have you guys hired employees to run the bakery
while you've done about?
Yeah, obviously.
Are you just more playing as managers as opposed to actual work as
yeah.
Owners.
Creative input.
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
So Pike, on this day, you've been kind of keeping tabs on this,
a couple of the Pell Guard approach, the bakery.
And one of them, without seeing him, walks in and goes,
We're looking for Pike. Is Miss Piking?
Yes.
Could you please come with us? There's somebody on the board requesting your presence?
Where?
On the outskirts of Whitestone.
Okay. Yes.
Someone who says they know you. Come with us.
Come with us.
Okay.
The two guards kind of step back and you walk with them.
Do you walk with them?
Yes. Are any of us with you?
Or were you by yourself at the bakery?
Just sure at the moment.
Does she walk past the sentry when I'm like having a random conversation with no one?
Make a perception check.
I'm rolling really shitty tonight.
Let's see what happens.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
That's much better.
Just straight perception?
Mm-hmm.
30.
Okay.
As you kind of walk me up the century, you're heading back.
There's another side of white stone and kind of glanced over your shoulder, kind of looking back at, I'm like, oh, it's good to talk to him again.
And you see Pike walking with two guards just on the southern, like southwestern side of the square.
She looks a little nervous.
It's about the time I'm like, oh, okay, bye, Sun Tree.
And then I'm going to just kind of druid shape, or B shape, sorry, into a raven, to a crow, kind of start circling her.
her. There was like two kids off to the side that were just playing and look over and
why should you do this and just go, whoa.
As you just hear them kind of disappeared in the distance.
That was awesome.
I would I do that?
Poop on the way out.
That was even cool.
They did not see that.
So as you brought to the Western Road, it leads you alongside the shops. And one of the guards talking
and he was like, yeah, sorry, they've got a group of folks here, been here for
couple days, asking in, or a few hours, I just say, sorry, a couple days.
Asking about you, we've kept an eye on it. They don't seem to be aggressive, but they
asked for you recently, and we managed to find you by the bakery, if you don't mind.
Here they are, and they lead you to the outside of the town, and there you see a small carriage
with two horses that are currently hitched up front. You see you see a small carriage.
about three other pale guard and full armor, kind of one of them's middle of
conversation with a couple figures. You see four figures, or you see three and then a
fourth one kind of emerges from inside the carriage. It's a topped carriage. It looks to be
some sort of curtains that are close, and kind of like red or dark purples. It doesn't
look like elaborate carriage, but it's functional. You see a male gnome with short dark
hair, slick to one side, and a well-groomed must-
She kind of curls at the end, who's in the middle of talking,
and he glances over and sees you and goes,
Ah! She's here! He leaps off the top, and the guards kind of get defensively,
so he goes, Astro Ogden!
J.V., she's here!
Then he goes rushing off in your direction as the guards kind of like,
oh, sir, sir, sir! And he doesn't even ignores them for a second,
and the two guards with you say, like,
um, Miss Pike, should we?
And they go for their blades?
It's okay. It's okay.
He approaches real fast and goes, ha ha ha ha,
and gives a big old hug and lifts you off the ground.
old hug and lifts you off the ground, and it takes you a minute to realize this is Johann
Trickfoot. This is your cousin, who you haven't seen in quite a long time. He's dressed in
like a fine vest that has some, it's like a dark, dark maroon color with kind of a gold trim.
A little ragged at the edges, but fine. Kind of big swishy pants and boots, and he lifts
you up for a second, and then sets you back down and it's like, ah, it's been quite a while.
It's been so long. How did you know where to find me?
Well, we got your letter. And we've been hearing all about you. Well, at least JV. has been telling us all about.
Doesn't she? And he looks around, and you see now the other figures that they approach.
There's a female gnome, older than you, who you haven't met before, who has kind of like curly, strawberry blonde hair that goes just past her shoulders.
She's wearing this very revealing shirt and seems to walk with a confidence in smile.
She was, Pike, my dear, I've heard all about you.
And she rushes up and gives you a big hug as well.
And you look back and stepping off of the carriage, you see a very, very old gnome,
who is just a wreath of black and salt and pepper hair, just kind of crazy around him like a lion's maid and a giant beer.
You wouldn't see a face if not for these small spectacles and a little butt-nose poking out.
He's being kind of helped off the wagon by another female known that you recognize as she turns around towards it.
She has long, straight black hair that kind of goes right past her shoulders. She has kind of a Wednesday Adams vibe to her.
She looks back at you in smiles and you can see this gaff in her front teeth. She's about your age. This is J.B. Trickfoot.
She is the...
J.B. She is another one of your cousins, one that you grew up with actually when you were
very young, but you haven't seen her in a very long time.
And as they all begin to approach,
this small cluster of three foot's
have approached, as J.B. walks up to answer Johann,
says, yes, indeed, we've heard all about you.
I've been so proud to hear that you've done such great,
good in the world, cousin.
I give her a hug.
It's good to see you.
It's been a very long time.
Far too long, far too long.
Did you guys just come here to see me?
Yes, and Johan claps his arm on the side of your shoulder.
Yes, of course.
It's been, it's been, I can't even remember.
Look at how big you are.
Last time saw you were like, waist tight to a knuckle punch.
It's been far too long.
Look, and it's so strong.
He's like slapping the side of your arm,
and they're all doing the whole, like, you know,
family gathering, kind of pulling and tugging,
and you're starting to feel kind of uncomfortable
with all the attention, the guards are just kind of confused,
but also mildly amused by this family gathering.
The old one now catches up, and you recognize this is your Uncle Ogden Trickfoot,
who is the father to both Johann and J.B.
And as he approaches, he has this small walking cane,
and he's like walking at an angle because he doesn't quite see you.
He's like, hey, when she says she's around?
I'm right here.
I'm right here.
Hi.
Hi.
How are you?
How are you?
I'm all right.
It's so good to see you.
It's so wonderful to see you.
There you are.
I'm here, I'm here.
Justice spectacles.
He told me that you slayed dragons.
I have, yes, I did.
With my friends.
Who I would love to introduce you guys to, my friends.
What did you say?
My friends.
She said yes, she slayed dragons.
Will you want, I also...
What?
I also have a bakery.
She says a bakery?
It's called the Slayer's cake.
Cake!
Something like you see his face brightened.
Between the bursts of facial and head hair,
you see a little bit of rosy cheeks poke through with a smile,
and he goes, look at you cake.
Look at you cake, uncle.
Come this way. I didn't realize you guys would be coming, but I'm glad that you got my letter and everything else.
Which point, the blonde one goes, yes, of course, we did. And you are as beautiful as everything they told me. I'm Astra, by the way, I'm Johan's wife. We haven't met, but you are a sight to see. She takes her hands and pulls your hands and goes like, oh my, and aren't you the strapping young lady?
Who's the lucky man?
Oh, well, no one right now.
Oh, shouldn't be a problem.
Oh, woman, whatever, I don't know.
You can tell me later.
We'll discuss later, maybe.
All right.
But do come in.
I would love to introduce you to some friends of mine.
Come into town.
Which point, J.B. smile kind of creeps,
and you see her the gap in the teeth once more.
Are these friends, walks makina?
Um, yes.
At which point, they all kind of look at her,
and she goes, I'm so excited.
Please, please.
And they all just kind of gather around you,
and the guard kind of comes up a little fast,
and she goes, um, miss, do you require assistance?
Just walk us into town, that would be great,
just in case if there's any.
thing that might jump out and get us.
Very well.
And the three guards that were at the front
kind of shut up.
The carriage!
And your hug goes, oh yes!
Well, it's now under the watch of one
Pike Trinkfoot.
So just put it wherever the royal horses go.
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
Oh, I don't like them at all.
This sack of Paggans has just rolled out.
Yeah.
Let me just, you know what?
Guards, can you take them to the Slayer's Cake?
And I will be right there.
I will be right there.
Of course, you're a busy woman.
Don't worry about it.
I have some things to tend to.
Bust her hair a bit.
And besides, I can have a guard to score of me any day.
The guard's like, just grabs her arm
and starts walking along with her.
You can already tell it she's a bubbly flirt.
Um.
Kieland flies down and lands on Pike's shoulder.
Hey. Oh, uh, okay. So you just saw that.
I think, uh, so my family's here, the family that, that, uh, I haven't really seen since I was a kid.
And they're, they're, we have, we have, we have the last name,
trick foot for a reason.
I'm gonna get on the earring and say,
whoever is available, I would love
to maybe have you come to the Slayer's Cake.
Some of my, some of my family is here.
And hold on, just watch your pockets,
watch your stuff, just keep an eye on your things.
And they're, yeah, just come, just please,
Please, please come.
We've got you, darling.
I go ahead and banff out of my B-shap.
What?
I, okay.
I sent money.
I didn't, I didn't tell them where I was.
You sent money?
I did, I just didn't know, I don't know,
maybe I shouldn't have done it.
No, no, I mean, that's admirable.
I just wanted to make sure that they were okay
and I didn't know, they're,
maybe that wasn't a good idea.
No, I mean, I just, I know you,
you've told us very vague amounts about your family
I know because they're...
It was just, you know, it was surprising.
You haven't talked about them too much.
Just like that they're like, oh, a little shady.
I left when I was very young, so a lot of them I don't really know.
I don't know.
Okay.
I just, you know, we love you.
Okay.
And family or not, if anyone tries to fucking use you, we will.
Thank you. Okay, I don't think it'll come to that.
All right.
But I just don't want anyone taking advantage of you.
Right.
No, I don't think that'll happen.
No.
Watch a Goliath.
Just go ahead.
Okay.
Okay.
Just get ready.
Just get ready.
Let's go to the Slayer's kick it.
I'm walking from the Santa Tener.
Yeah, you're walking up as well.
They kind of, they alluded to the fact that they know
who Vox Machina is, which I guess.
which I guess in this day and age,
maybe people know who we are, which is weird.
Yeah, us, yeah.
Okay, just be prepared, because it's not like I'm embarrassed
on my family or anything.
I just like, I don't really know them.
Sure.
You don't know?
I, I.
I'm so excited.
Well, and took me out of there when I was six.
So this is, it's been a while.
Have you kept in contact with any of them until here recently?
Like, J.B., my cousin knew you met a little bit, but not really, not really at all.
They never came by Wilhands.
No, they, they, they have so many things to do.
Busy.
Yeah. Important.
Busy, but just hold on to your butts. Hold on to your butts. Hold on to your things.
Why?
They are sneaky.
sneaky, sneaky, sneaky. They like to take things and they're fast and small and that little
sleight of hand and get passed down to me, but just, oh, I'm so uncomfortable right now.
It's okay.
You're kind of sweating, I'm all right, yeah, yeah.
All right.
I can't here, and I dab or brow off a little.
It's all right, thanks.
Do you want, like, do you need anything? Do you want to like, do you need anything to, like, look cool?
Do you want some deodorant? You kind of smell.
Yeah.
You want to, okay.
I pull out my oils that I use on backs.
There you go, yeah, you're good.
Good.
How good?
How good?
Yeah.
They've been having this conversation kind of just standing in the square,
not far from the Slayer's Cake.
It's never going to get old.
It'll never get old.
Nope.
Yeah, so you've caught up at this point.
Percy, you've just started to see them from the distance.
Yeah, I'm excited.
Terry, I don't know if you're...
I'm at the Slayer's cake.
I'm making blondies.
Okay, so why you guys are having this conversation?
We have this conversation.
Tarian, you hear what sounds like ruckus, laughter, conversation,
voices overlapping, getting louder and louder,
and then suddenly the front door to the Slayer's Cake,
which has been kind of quiet this afternoon,
and then it's just like, ha ha ha, what?
Oh, this place is amazing.
Do you smell that? You smell that, uncle?
And you watch as the uncle kind of comes in.
kind of comes in.
Slaves like rocks.
Rocks?
He lost his smell when he was very,
it was a terrible accident.
Horse hoof and the face.
Anyway, hi, ah, we're a family of Pike Trickfoot
and we're, we were told to come here
and try your wares.
So this is a bakery, it appears.
In Nomish.
Welcome to the store.
Any family of Pike Trickfoot is
family of mine. I am one of her closest friends, Terry and Darington. Here you go. Blondie's
on the house for everyone to celebrate your blondeie by Trickfoot. She wasn't always blonde,
you know? Oh, I don't know that at all. That's, no. What? Yeah. I guess she wanted to change
of pace. She had dark hair when she was younger. Really? Yeah. Astra, free treats! And they start
like just grabbing and filling their pockets with blondies, while eating in between. I mean, I've got more. Sure.
You can take all you want, everything in the store.
Why are all the house?
J.B. goes, the walks up with like long, dark hair,
goes, do you happen to have any water?
Of course, of course.
Doty, go fetch some water for these fine, fine,
fine gnomes.
Gabs and gets like a small bucket of water
to sit down and you watch as J.B.
against breaking up the pastries and dipping in the water,
then feeding them to the uncle who's like,
oh, oh, boy.
It's just occasionally, has to like,
bright his face, and it's kind of getting caught
and the beard a little bit.
You know, family is everything,
and I'm so pleased to meet you.
Can you tell me what she was like as a child?
Well, she at that point the door bursts open
and the rest of you arrive there at the Slayer's Cake.
Yes!
Oh, I see you got some blondies?
We did, your friend here!
Terrian Derrington, who apparently speaks Snomish.
Look at you, keeping it cultured.
It was nice enough to give us the run of the house.
I told them they could have anything they wanted
in the place free of charge.
Well, I mean, just within,
just don't get sick by having too many pastries.
Oh, my dear, it's not possible.
Well, you know, this is, this is, guys, everybody,
this is, this is, this is my family.
This is part of my family.
You're a hans,
random tasker at your service.
And he bows.
The woman with the curled consumer is,
Astra Trickfoot, this here's my lumpy husband,
kind of elbows on the side, is he kind of like, ooh,
and also at your service.
He kind of glances over and kind of does a quick scan
of everybody and falls on you and goes, gives you a wink.
J.B., who's currently feeding the older Uncle Ogden Trickfoot,
I go, I'm J.B. I'm the cousin who grew up with her the most. She's my favorite.
At which point she's been so concentrated on this, she doesn't really, she's been like mashing the food on the side of Ogden's cheek.
He was like, hey, I'm me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's going to wipe some down.
What's, I'm sorry. What brings you fine folk into town? Are you just visiting Pike here?
Astro can speak something, goes, well, we travel a lot,
and we've heard of exploits in various towns all around,
and I just haven't had the chance to meet Pike
after all the stories I've heard.
And Johann speaks of her often in J.B's,
just pretty much obsessed with your exploits in J.B's.
And there goes, I've been keeping tabs.
So we were surprised that we were located by a courier
who gave us your letter
and your absolutely unnecessary
but very appreciated
donation to the family
and we thought it wouldn't it be
nice and right of us
to come and thank you in person.
Well, I'm so glad you did.
Just how in the world did you find out
that I was here?
They all, or at least Johann
and Astra turn their heads to J.B.,
and J.B. goes,
well, keeping tabs on what you've been doing,
there have been word that you've not only helped with the reconstruction of Imman, but you've also
been traveling to...
And from Whitestone, since the conclave attacked the continent, so we narrowed it down between
a few possibilities, and based on the fact that you, Percival, this is your city, is that
correct, we figured that, given that basis, we had a good chance.
We passed through Western and could not find you.
Wilhelm, however, did say that you're doing well.
and we eventually made our way east, and here we are.
It's so good to see you.
It's very good to see you.
Do me next. What have I done?
You're Grog Strong-jaw.
Yes. No, you were the one that apparently replaced me.
Well, you grew up together once we were not, and you were a
A strong, half giant of a man.
The beard confuses me.
But you've done many great things, I suppose.
The rest of you, it is an honor to meet you.
I've heard so much and it's rare you get to meet heroes
in your lifetime.
What?
Oh, they're so nice.
I'm still hungry.
They're so nice.
That's terrible.
Are you guys just passing through?
Or where's your next destination?
Your humpups goes, we're always passing through, my dear.
But we figure we just stay for a few days,
weeks, how long it takes to just get to know you a little better
and then we'll be on our way.
Did you say weeks?
Did you slip that in?
A few days.
Weeks, we can stay weeks if you like.
Oh, wait.
That is entirely.
As long as you need.
We've been traveling.
I'm sorry.
We're very tired.
Oh, I'm sorry.
We've been very tired.
My family is all family, really.
Can I do a little, I trust them.
I just want to be a whole.
I want to get a vibe on them.
I want to do an insight check and see what I think of that.
Can I get like a system on that?
I'll be like, I'll say you have to make individual insight check.
Individuals?
Oh, jeebus.
Nah, crap.
13.
Or 26.
Okay.
They're hard to read, general.
They're weird.
They're strange, they're interesting, they're unique.
But they seem to be jovial and full of personality.
You get a very familiar vibe as you do with Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Dr. Zrew.
Could I request one thing?
Could I have a hug?
From, oh, oh, you're watching.
A bunch of kittens on a man.
They all kind of look at each other, and they all kind of,
you see, Johann and Astor rushes in, and they both give you a hug,
and then actually goes, Uncle Ogden, she grabs,
Ogden, and kind of like, ugh, kind of comes over, and
I'm confused, and it's just being held against you, really.
He's mouthful.
And you watch this, as J.B. kind of approaches, and Pat
you. It's okay.
Uh, J.B.
Mm-hmm.
Can I talk to you for just a minute?
Of course.
Okay. Just step outside on the outdoor bench.
She follows you out there.
You look so pretty.
Oh, thank you.
I've done so many good things. I've heard so many good things.
It's so good to see you.
It's very good to see you.
I, I, I, how have you been?
Well, and watching.
you know, Ogden, traveling and seeing the sights
in the countryside of Taldore,
and it's life on the road.
I know, I understand that.
How are my parents?
She kind of puts her in and goes,
well, we haven't heard from your immediate side
of the family since your bastard father left
for wine and dear across the sea.
Good riddance.
No offense.
No, it's not taken.
That was a long time ago, I was young.
But no, seriously, you're not missing much with them.
Can I insight check her?
Go for it.
13. 13?
13.
I mean, she seems guarded, hard to read, but legit.
Okay. Okay. Well, I,
do you guys, in your travels, do you know who Scanlon Shorthal
his, I'm sure.
She kind of lights up,
goes, yes, I've heard of him.
Is he around?
He's not around.
Okay.
Well, but I've heard of him.
I've heard of his exploits.
He's,
as I've asked around,
he's left quite a trail
of ladies through the years.
He definitely has.
A lot to say about him.
Yes.
Bit of a scoundrel, that one.
Such a scoundrel.
Such a scoundrel.
Oh, gosh, she's so weird.
It makes me so uncomfortable.
All right, well, let's go back inside.
Of course. I'm glad we had this bonding time.
Me too.
More to come, right?
You don't come.
And she kind of grabs her your arms and tugs them a little bit.
You get a very faint sense of mild the rest of the development
that makes it a little uncomfortable.
Yeah.
This is amazing.
Amazing. She walks inside with you, with her arm kind of on your shoulder.
As you come back inside, they're in the process.
A hug seems to have kind of pulled away from Grog for a second,
but the laughter is billowing from the room.
And Johann at this point is mid-story to Grog.
And it's like, and that's the craziest thing.
She was so small, but could you poop so much?
It was incredible.
I'm one of my favorite kind of people.
If we could have painted a picture,
you wouldn't know where she put it away!
But that's another story.
Oh, well, we don't need to keep
saying these things.
Well, you know what?
If you guys would like to stay just for a few days
because we're going to be leaving.
No, we're not.
We're going to be, because we have a lot of stuff to do.
Of course, of course.
I mean, days, weeks was invited here, of course.
She doesn't actually live here, actually.
Yeah, I think.
A guest.
Foreigner just like.
You're like you passing through, traveling on.
I think we have a, you know,
a thing that we have to go fight and, you know.
We have so many things that we have to do.
We just got done fighting.
All the things were like seven of a year.
Well, I know, but we're gonna,
we have some things planned.
Asher steps forward and kind of takes your hand,
and she goes, it's all right, dear,
we're not gonna stay longer
make it uncomfortable. Sorry about
these folks. No, no.
I'm married into Trickfoot. I'm not bound
to the same ridiculousness as these guys.
So, don't worry.
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Okay.
Well, you guys are more than welcome to stay.
Sure.
Trust you're married in this bullshit.
20 total.
20 total?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I bet she's at the helm.
Happy news.
She's puppeteering the shit.
I don't like her, winking it.
Percy.
Ladies and gentlemen, while we're whispering about it.
We have a great new shirt in the store.
It is a really great shirt.
It says Vox Machina.
And you can get a close up,
you would see all of the Vax Machinus made
of a different weapons that Vax Machina uses.
That was amazing.
It's just a truce.
Well, why don't you guys stay in my, you know, place
and I'll take care of you guys while you're here
and just explore the town,
and when we're getting ready to go, I'll let you know.
You know, you guys can go on your merry way.
That sounds fantastic.
Okay.
It's so happy to have the Tritfoots together again.
It's just so great, it's so great.
So where are we all staying?
Well, you can stay,
It's at my place.
Fantastic.
Wonder is, wonder is.
Show us along.
Let's go ahead.
You have things to unload.
Okay.
Do you want to grab any of the last bit of pastries for the day?
I mean, obviously.
That's a valet boy.
Look at you.
The survivors.
Don't fill up because I assume we're all going to have dinner
tonight together, right?
Oh, yeah.
Fancy.
Fats of town.
Yeah, let's have dinner.
Let's all go out for dinner tonight.
Wonderful.
I love it.
I love it.
Free treats today.
Just so.
Just today, just today, free treats for the family.
After that, no free treats.
But just today, it's great.
As you're saying this, Uncle Ogden has stepped forward again,
and J.B.'s like, Uncle Ogden?
And he kind of like, and he reaches out,
and eventually finds the edge of your cheek and your chin,
and he was like, drops his cane, pulls his glasses off,
and you see these tiny little dark, beady eyes
between the ringgoles and goes, like,
It's so good to see you.
It's so good to see you.
Thank you. You're a good one.
He puts his glasses back on.
He's the old banker from her.
And like, reaches out, and then J.B. picks up a stick
and hands it to me. He's like,
thank you, Uncle Ogden.
Does it look like he really needs that cane?
Wow.
Make an inside check.
That's a guess.
Sure.
Pick the cane out.
See what happens.
I'm with you.
Do you need this?
I think it looks like he really needs it.
You generally feel bad for even having that second thought.
I'm so, the guilt wash is over you.
I'm so proud of having that thought.
In my broken gnome, I tell him,
it's an honor to mate you.
His head kind of spins for a second.
He smiles and no mish back to you.
He says, oh, it's been a while.
I love them.
Well, should we get some dinner?
Are you guys hungry or have you filled up on pastries?
Oh!
You watch as you want spits out the pastry?
Oh, he's hungry.
Good, good.
Okay, great.
Well, let's have a delicious dinner.
We can always go hunting for a dinner.
We could.
Classic way.
That's how we do it in Moistern.
You have to hunt if you want to eat.
if you want to eat. That's how we do it here.
Is that how you got your pastries?
Well, hunting for any kind of meat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have to bake, if you want to eat.
For the meat pies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The meat and the meat pies.
It's all, um.
Well, we're not hunters, so I guess we'll just stay here
till you finish hunting.
You know what I've hunted.
We've never been hunters.
I know, I just, you know, we can, we can,
we can, oh.
It's amazing.
We can just.
Let's go fresh enough for dinner.
We'll go fresh enough for dinner.
I'll show you guys my place.
Not a bad idea.
I can use a bath, actually.
How about you, actually?
I'm like, oh, I can love a bath right now.
I've been in the road for so long.
And Jimmy goes, Uncle could really use a bath.
Uncle could use a bath, I can.
He could. He smelled like cheese.
All right, I'll walk you guys.
Let's walk to my place.
Just tell us along.
I just want to whisper to you as we walk back to the house.
Don't give them any more free things, all right?
Oh, I thought they were Pike's people.
Yeah, they're great, they're great, they're wonderful.
But just no more free stuff, just today, but no more after that.
Okay, of course, of course. I'm sorry if I was out of line.
Of course, not you're so generous.
Oh, good.
Love you.
Thank you so much.
I'm looking Kiki by the arm.
Hey, you got that look in your eye.
I just don't like it when people try to take advantage of my friends, but no family.
And if anyone is in need, I don't want to potentially put them
out. But you think they're a little bit hinky? That's yes.
You can just keep an eye out.
I'm protective.
I don't know. Pike, if you need anything, just let me know.
And I completely understand the awkward position that you're currently being put in.
Oh, God, it's so awkward.
I just don't know. Thank you, Percy. Thank you.
Don't worry.
I will let me know if there's anything that I need.
Keep an eye on the odd one. If you see
Do you see any notion of her, J.B., was it?
Which one? Because they're all odd.
I know, I know.
And as they're having this conversation,
as they...
J.B., she reminds me of me at that age.
That's not a good thing.
I say to...
She's very strange.
I say to Vax.
Just keep an eye on the odd one, all right?
See if you notice an interest.
Pike, are there any more coming?
If you notice an interest in that one,
please let me know.
Maybe I can figure out what she's interested in
and show her around.
maybe... Okay, that's a great idea.
Um, so this is, this is, this is all of you then that, that just that came.
You guys are just been traveling around just, just yourselves.
Got any more are you coming?
Uh, not, not coming with this, too. We, we've...
Oh.
The Tritfoots tend to scatter on their own.
Like bunnies.
Kind of, yeah, sir, we'll go with that one.
Hmm. Yeah, I mean, you know,
and everyone can be trusted in the family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's frustrating.
People that you care for and spend your life, getting behind, betray that trust.
And, well, good riddened to him.
Oh.
Well, is there anything you would like to see while you're here?
They all look back to J.B. who lightens up again.
He goes, everything.
Okay.
Well, is there anyone in particular you would like to give you a tour?
a tour.
And J.B. is kind of like, well, I, uh, uh, uh.
And Yvonne goes, I feel like if we don't choose him, we're gonna get squashed.
You can see like a moment of kind of heartbreaking Jimmy.
She goes, very well.
Yes.
Mr. Strongjaw, you may show us around.
Yeah, you won't regret that choice.
Mm-hmm.
All right, well, come with me.
You can come to my place fresh and up before dinner,
and just we'll have a great time.
Great, great.
Now, to the baths.
How big are your baths?
The huge, the human-sized baths?
The bigger than human-sized baths?
Not quite big enough.
No, well for us.
You don't know.
You.
Son up.
All right, so you show them a castle,
which I assume is where you're letting them stay.
They're staying in the castle?
The guards have generally been alerted to be wary,
but kind, polite, and less important that they stop them
from doing anything too terrible, more to the point that they
just write it down and report it immediately.
Right, okay.
Unless anyone's doing something,
One's doing something terrible.
Or going somewhere they really shouldn't.
Right, okay.
That information is easily distributed throughout the Pell Guard
and without issue.
I guess that silverware wasn't so important.
Oh, we're bringing out the moderate silverware.
Yes, that's a great idea.
All the good silvers, hidden up high.
All the sluvers.
Hidden up high.
Because they're only, through the castle,
If you're going to give them a point in time, four baths,
like four rooms that contain full baths.
Occasionally you have to wait for a person,
but they immediately scatter.
Three of them are taken.
Well, we might just have to wait a little bit.
Okay. You wait a while, eventually
they might want to start making their way down
to the main banquet hall of the castle.
Cleaned up, still with the same.
You watch this as Johann comes down,
wearing his same clothing that it appears to have been clean.
He's like, wow, I am appreciative that you have servants here
that can do such nice job as fine family threads.
And his mustache is done perfectly.
His hair is like still slick and wet from the bath, combed over,
and he's like, oh, well, thank you.
It's in the blot.
It sure is.
And he turns around.
Astra!
What's taking this so long?
Walks back out of the stairway and rushes past the guards,
his little gnomish head kind of dodging by their knees almost.
and the voice, and like, he goes,
Astra!
Your voice go, I'm!
He goes back.
Should be down in a moment, don't worry.
In the meantime, is there like an advertiser course?
Sure, we can, we can, why don't you just take a seat
and you can get, order whatever you want, on me.
You are so generous, and he like pinches your cheek.
He waltzes up at the table, sits down,
and grabs the fork and knife.
Two bottles are red, and what vintage have you?
And he begins, like, now begin talking with the servants
about what various wines are available.
I'm just gonna pop into the kitchen.
Okay.
And just tell the staff in the kitchen,
obviously, you know, you can make whatever you want.
I'm just,
Hoping maybe you don't make it too tasty tonight.
Nothing too extravagant.
You know, nice but average, right?
The servants that are there,
the whole kind of wait staff and kitchen staff,
of course, manate, at your.
Nothing great.
A curious request, but one will fulfill
to our greatest ability.
Thank you so much.
Lots of salad, lots of salad, lots of very,
like very dry sort of hard meat and vegetables,
just like.
Turnips, lots of turnips.
Heavy, heavy, heavy food.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna pop into the kitchen after she's done.
All right, family's here tonight, so everything has to be on its best.
All right, the best stuff we've have in this kitchen.
These are trick-foot's. You have to treat them right, and we have to treat them well.
The staff stops goes,
Friend Terry, I'm sorry, but the lady requested specifically that the meal not be...
What lady?
Lady Vixalia.
She was being polite.
These are good people.
They need to be treated as...
Make a persuasion check.
You're asking them to override the word of the lady of the house.
This is...
One.
I am sorry, but...
Who's your manager?
The lady you're speaking about...
Oh.
Oh, you're right.
She is your manager.
Is it a man.
Terry, Terry.
All right.
back to the poolhouse with you.
I do have luck.
What am I doing?
Persuasion.
Persuasion.
No.
That's 24.
Oh!
Oh!
But if you say it's the word of Lady Vaxaliyah, then we...
These are trick-foots, man!
Trick-Footz!
Treat them as you would your own mother.
I'm so confused.
We'll do our best.
Holy shit.
You see this internal story, it's like,
everyone!
Oh, but I'm fine meat's back on the menu.
I'm sorry, and the staff goes like,
just throwing shit out there halfway working on
and starting from scratch.
I go out and grab Vex.
He's angered the sous chefs.
Little E.G. What are you doing?
They told me that you told them to give them bad food tonight.
These are trickflots.
We have to treat them with honor and respect.
Terry!
You said what?
Pulling aside.
Okay.
Look, all right.
If your father came and you, you dislike him very much, right?
I would give him the best.
Oh shit, okay, bad, bad comparison.
These people kind of suck.
They're very mean to me.
What are you talking about?
They've been nothing but nice.
They've been showered her with kisses and affection.
It's the affection that I've never even seen in the family before.
Terry, dear, darling, they don't treat her very well,
and they'll use her and they'll stay here.
and keep taking advantage of her, and we don't want that.
But I get to practice my gnome.
Oh, that's true.
You can practice as much as you want over the next couple days,
but we don't want to impress them.
The more they like it, the longer they'll stay.
They'll figure out that the poor food.
I feel like that they're clever enough for that one.
Best to feed them well at least.
All right.
I know.
I'll back off.
Thank you.
Continue to be charming, though.
Always.
You'll walk into the kitchen, I go, okay, listen up.
I need peanut butter, I need turkey legs, eggs, cheese.
Those are all the foods, I know.
And mayonnaise.
Stop, chop!
The servant's all stop and go,
Oh my God.
Yes, grand Puba.
Oh!
Throw out with their finishing, and begin to make eggs, getting the cheese ready, and all the hearty pork meats.
Peanut butter.
It's like pork food.
It's pork meat.
It's a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.
Spaghettios.
That's just right.
That's just right.
That's just right.
I've run over to Percy really quickly.
I just wanted to...
apologize in advance for whatever may happen in the next few days.
I'm so excited for the calamity that it's about to be brought down upon my house.
Okay.
There is nothing short of full dragon apocalypse at this point that I think could truly phase us.
We can live through this. We'll be fine.
Okay.
And I come up and I give her a hug from behind and say,
we will never judge you for your blood, dear.
Okay, okay.
Again, I'm not embarrassed.
Of course not.
I mean, they're great.
They seem wonderful.
Yeah.
Yeah, they do. They do.
They do.
To be fair, I've also already started drinking.
Oh, great, okay, I'll join you for sure.
I pull out the flask of courage that I've brought.
Flask of courage.
I take a big, big gulf.
Oh, there's a lot of courage we make it every year.
It's a lot of gulp.
I take a big gulp.
Just all the gults.
It burns.
It burns so good.
It burns so good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It burns a lot.
It does. It does.
You're gonna get drunk, but you're not gonna get sleepy.
Oh, that's gonna feel good.
That's gonna be.
We'll get sleepy.
Let's do this.
Let's go eat.
As you guys all find yourselves ready,
the trick-foot's also begin to fill in to the banquet hall.
The servants provide a fantastic spread of heartily cooked pork meats,
peanut butter, fresh from the dinner,
pile of cheeses.
Did level seven.
I thought, Terry, I thought you asked.
Iceberg.
Iceberg.
That's what I asked.
Hmm.
Home, you know.
This is, this is comfort food in White Stone, you know.
We thought we would give you the cornucopia of our experience.
Yes.
At which point.
I just take a big spoon of peanut butter.
Yeah.
Yo-Hon, can I give us a curious heartburn?
He's a curious husband, goes, well, who will be to scoff at the cultures of others?
Let's dig it everyone!
And immediately he goes in and Astro begins eating as well.
J.B. takes a bite and then prepares a bite for Uncle Ogden, who is kind of in the process of
staring at the table strangely, and then eventually the spoon finds its way there.
Well, that's the next 30 minutes.
As this is happening, it's going to be Mr. Ed for 30 minutes.
begins asking questions like, so, this is your castle?
Is this my castle?
J.B., is like, no, it's not her castle,
it's his castle.
She's just staying here for now.
Technically it's my sister's castle, but certainly.
At which point Cassandra comes in from the back,
who's been kind of arms crossed, she wanders it.
Brother.
That's code.
Yes.
Mm.
Everything all right, brother?
Yes, fine.
Fine.
Very well, I'll be in my chambers if you require anything.
You don't want to join us, Cass?
I'm fine.
I'm a bit tired.
It's been a long night.
But whoever you are, welcome,
to Whitestone.
Looks back to personal.
The Trickfoot Clan.
Ah.
And Keylet goes.
The Trickfoot Clan.
If she looks over at me, I'm going.
Well, I would love to welcome you all to Whitestone.
You are guests of ours, of your, guest of hers.
We'll talk later.
Absolutely.
She makes her way back up.
Stairs.
Her, uh, he watches, uh,
as Trish, who's her bodyguard on this shift,
as anything that follows her up.
Still here.
Trish. Trish, the dish.
Oh, yeah.
Trish the dish.
Oh, she's one of two shift personal guards of
a .
I'm gonna sit next to Ogden.
Okay.
J.B., I can feed him for a little bit
if you'd like to, you know, look around or something.
or talk to anybody here?
What do you really want to talk to?
You.
You have so much to catch up on.
It's been a long time.
Is there someone in Voxmachna that you really love?
She kind of looks around.
There's like this long, awkward pause
that she keeps looking over Voxmachna again and again,
but not making any eye contact with Grog.
Eventually goes,
I suppose, Lady Vixalia.
Oh.
Pends the spoon over to you.
Okay.
Well, I'm sure she would love to talk to you.
You could go to...
She's very inviting, very friendly.
Should I just...
Sure, sure.
Okay, okay.
And she sits up and walks the table as Johan's still talking,
and he's telling stories about how...
You know, oh, we took foot for generations,
We've been problem solvers.
We just rove from place to place solving problems
across the countryside.
If you have a squeaky wheel, we fix the wheel.
You have a squeaky door.
We fix the door.
Very sure.
You have a squeaky taxman.
We fix the taxman.
That's a joke.
That's a joke.
You can laugh.
See, there you go.
I'm joking about that.
Everybody hates taxes.
Everybody hates taxes.
Yeah.
As this conversation's happened,
you begin to, this is the small bowl of what looks to be, it looks like some of the pork,
but it's been soaked in some water or wine and it's been mashed or pre-chewed, you not quite sure.
Oh, boy.
Like a bird.
But you have the spoon there and you have Uncle Ogden just kind of sitting there going.
I start speaking to him in Under Dark because I haven't spoken that in a while.
Mm-hmm.
Um,
Ogden,
uh,
how are you,
how are you liking traveling
with everybody,
with Johan and Astra and
J.B?
His ear kind of perks up a little bit,
and he goes,
I haven't learned that tongue in a long time.
It's like, how you kind of turns slightly towards you,
but he's still kind of looking off a little bit from under the glasses.
Is this undercombe?
Underdark.
Underdark?
Well, it'd be considered undercombe.
It's under common.
I'm listening.
I'm reading the lips.
You're sorry, man.
Damn.
If you don't, do you understand undercommon?
Huh?
Okay, then yeah.
You just kind of moves back and goes,
It's been tribal.
They take care of me.
We're here now.
His hand kind of reaches over and grabs your hand
and kind of holds it for a second.
We're here.
Protect me from what?
What do you mean?
I've been having visions of you, angel of light swallowed by darkness.
Okay. Are these just dreams or you...
They come often, and the dreams that'll come often generally come to pass.
There is a curse in our blood.
He wish to save you from that curse.
His fingers can tighten a little bit on your hand, not in a painful, but just like an emphatic hold.
Worried for you. You're the only good one.
This hand releases your hand,
and it kind of drills a little bit and wipes it a bit with his hand.
I take a spoon of peanut butter.
I take a spoon of peanut butter.
It's a little bit easier.
Here you go.
Like Mr. Ed.
Yep.
It's like kind of like a little bit, but it's like,
unexpected.
Sorry, the mix between the pork and the peanut butter,
It's an interesting mix, but it's Grogg's favorite.
It's good.
It's a good mix.
He seems smiling now.
Porky.
How can you tell me, can you tell me about Astra?
How did she come into the picture?
Astra met Johann about 10 years ago.
He needed someone to nail him
down, spry, wily, prone to terrible choices.
He's a stupid boy.
Stupid, stupid boy.
At which point, Yohan, who's been able
talking and stops and goes, an undercommon.
I can hear you, Dad.
Anyway, in a conversation.
She's good to him.
breaks his heart, I'll kill her.
Oh, there you go.
Uh, and any word from my family, my mother, anything?
I mean, it's been a long time since I've talked to them.
I've absconded east.
Got no little trouble.
That makes sense.
It's just like my brother to do that.
He's the one who has the one who has.
I'm held this stupid gene on our generation.
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
I'm tired now.
Okay.
Which point, J.B., who's been over there
kind of just talking with you and asking questions
about the castle and what accommodations there are,
she's Uncle Odingerangelo.
Oh, uncle, I'll help you, and I'm so sorry,
Lady Vexali.
She stands up and walks around and grabs the elbow of Uncle Octen, are you tired?
I can have someone take him if you'd like to stay.
I don't. He's very fragile. Do you trust anyone to take him?
I can do it, dear.
Well, yeah. You would like to stay with him, or?
What do you...
I'm used to, but I mean, very vexalia.
I would love you.
I love to. I think your cousin wants to speak to you. Great, great. Yes.
Which point, as soon as you say that, she smiles brightly.
Actually, yes. Yes. Okay.
Oh, no God, dear.
Okay, no well. Check your pockets.
Always.
She sits down next to you and begins asking about,
I can't believe that, you know, you stepped into the same ridiculousness that we'll hand it,
and has brought you all this.
You just thought he was an old coat?
Well, he's all I've known and he's wonderful.
He's my family since I left, and I'm sorry I haven't really contacted you guys.
It's all right. We make ourselves scarce on purpose.
Yeah. Oh, so you've been taking care of Ogden?
We've been helping out, but mostly me, yes.
Has he told you anything that he dreams about, or?
You see, this point you kind of stiffens up a little bit.
So he's already told you.
Yes.
I don't want to ruin an evening. That's going so well.
But, well, he's had visions.
We're worried about you.
We got your letter that we didn't know how to find you.
We didn't think that you even were in the area.
And if the letter found us, we thought maybe you weren't that far away.
So we began to search our way along the silver cut.
Okay. Can I insight check her again?
Yeah, go for it.
I can't figure out what's it going on.
Oh, wait. 16?
She's hard to read in general.
Like even when she was a kid, she was kind of an odd duck.
Okay.
She seems genuine.
Well, is everybody, how's everybody feeling?
Are you tired? Are you full?
Are you, is it bedtime?
What's going on?
I could talk to these people all my wrong.
Well.
But if we should turn it in.
You see, Astra, who's been drinking deep
of the one of the two vine bottles of red wine
is like, kind of drunkenly leaning with her arm around,
you know, Johann's arm, and he's little
tipsy, but he's stolen conversation talking to Grog. He's just telling embarrassing story
after embarrassing story. Since you're so eager and no one else really wants to
pay him as much mind, he's talking to the table, but he's mainly focusing on you.
Yeah. As you've now, you begin helping Ogden, who, you know, as you grab his arm, he's,
you know, shaking, and he has his cane as he moves along, and he's going to help him with his arm.
He's skin is very loose.
Yes.
Obedin, would you like me to help carry you,
or are you all right to walk in a room?
I am not.
I can walk under my own power.
Of course you can.
Of course you can.
Feel free to lean on me, though.
At the stairs.
All right.
He's still kind of looking up.
He gets about two steps in this,
to stop and breathe.
Another two stairs, and stops on wheels.
I put my arm down so he can put as much weight as he wants.
And he leans into it,
You eventually help him up the staircase that kind of spirals up to the second floor and eventually lead him to his chambers.
All right, and I just start talking to him on the way to his room in the Undercommon and ask him,
so how long have you guys been on the road?
Well, always.
Always.
By nature, he don't really put down roots.
Big old smiles, he says roots and this like kind of darken, some broken,
teeth, heinous smell.
Oh.
Peanut butter and cheese.
Peanut butter and pork.
Yep.
Um,
it would help, but over here you're talking to Pike
about dreams you've been having.
Yes.
Dreams.
What kind of dreams?
Terrible premonitions.
Like what?
At this point, he kind of stops.
And he looks up towards you as he kind of holding his arm.
And he reaches him and pulls the glasses, shakily, from the front of his face.
And through his small, dark, brown, black, beady eyes,
you see the little bits of whites in the sides that are just bloodshot.
He kind of glances up, he goes,
The kinds of dreams that end the bloodline.
Well, that sounds terrible.
We're trying to find a way to stop it.
Well, that's good. I would like to stop it as well. We all love Pike very much.
Good. Then we came at the right time. Can I insight check him?
Go for it.
That was almost. Almost.
Uh, twenty-one.
It was one.
It was one.
It was first.
Yes!
So, Talasin, what's the V? What's the V on this shirt?
The V on this shirt? That's a book. That's a book.
That's a book.
That looks to be a tome of some sort.
Who is represented by a book?
The whole top row is reserved from that.
Oh, okay.
And then what's the M in Machina?
It appears to be some sort of very naturalistic bow and arrow.
Who would that correspond to?
Scanlan, I imagine.
Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
And the A?
The A appears to be a bird's mask and a pistol.
Also Scanlan.
Also Scanlan.
Yeah, sure.
And the C.
The C is some sort of natural.
wooden crest of some time?
No, that's a huge thing.
That's grog tinct.
Yeah, it's, grong taint.
It's in fact this is entirely grog and Scanlan,
which I think is, it's about time.
Well, Ogden, are you all right getting into your bed?
Do you need any help with that?
If you can get me to the edge of it, I can manage.
Well, of course.
I hope you know that we're here for you
with whatever you need,
as long as we're all here to help Pike.
to help Pike. We love her like family as well. Good. She could use some family. Yes. Dark tidings.
Dark tidings indeed. Are we talking like, you know, falling into a pit? Are we talking? I'm just going to like, walk him to the bed and maybe like, you know.
It gets up and like leans the stick off to the side. It kind of like shp-p-p-throft.
I'll crouch down and start like untying his little boots.
It's all right, I can get that.
But if you insist...
He leans back unless you do it.
You know what kind of dark things are we talking?
There's a legend in the Trick-Futs.
Every generation, one is born with a blood curse,
one that carries with the anger of someone slighted
when we first became Trick-Footz.
Maybe it's superstition
But everyone
These individuals
Died a horrible, painful death
Screaming of a shadow
That came for them
It's a myth I know
But these dreams
These dreams are real
And I'd rather be careful
And wrong
Than careless
And right
Do you see
shadow in your dreams?
Shapeless, dark eyes like burning coals.
Does that sound like the smoke demon that we saw come out of Percy?
Anything like that?
I mean, shapeless black shadow with red eyes sounds similar,
but Orthax was generally black smoke had form.
And the eyes were more of a yellow.
Okay.
It was the John Doe of demons, really.
Yeah.
Right.
All right.
And how long have you been having these dreams?
Uh, months.
Have you ever witnessed it happened before?
Have you had the dreams about anyone else?
Only once.
I was very young.
And they died?
My brother.
Really?
Theobald.
And do you know who it is that the children?
Trick would slight it in this myth.
I don't know.
His whole family is paranoid in guards
the secrets from each other.
Anyway.
I wish you would dreamless sleep, and he's out.
Random question, do we see an obvious family resemblance
with Pike and any of them?
You, um, make a perception, show.
You'll have a giant birth mark on their face.
Yeah.
Purple pencil out.
T.24.
Huge.
As you've been paying attention to the most of the dinner,
mannerisms and everything, there are some similarities.
Okay.
It's a spatial feature.
Yeah, I mean, they're not direct family.
You know, with their cousins, uncle.
They're once removed from her central nuclear family.
But you do see similarities in cheekbone structure,
at least with like Yagden and J.B.
More so with J.B.
It's harbored the mustache with Johan.
But there are some similarities between J.B. and Pike,
and you can't help but envision these two cute little
gnome children playing together.
These two little dark-haired female gnomes running around.
And there may have been an age where they could have been
hard to tell apart from each other.
Right.
Free Friday.
What?
So as Johann picks up Astra is, like,
possibly, like, hey.
Anyway, it's been a fast.
Fantastic, I appreciate your hospitality,
and I look forward to this grand tour, you promised, tomorrow.
Oh yeah, anything you want to see,
as long as you got more of those stories.
Oh, I've got loads.
Okay.
I'm going to sneak next to J.B. really quickly.
Okay.
If you want a more proper and private tour of the city,
just consider the offer open.
Just think about where you'd want to start.
The offer does stand, though.
Have a good evening.
As you say this to her, she kind of glist back and goes,
very well.
Under the needs of being upfront as well,
I wanted to know that I'm not interested.
Yes, thank you.
It sounded like it did sound like you if I could learn.
I want a proper tour of these nuts.
Yeah, the stands, baby.
I don't think he's figured out what she's talking about.
I don't think he has either, no.
Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought she wanted to maybe see the, in the cemetery.
Oh, go very well then.
She looks over at Grog.
He goes, perhaps a tour is in order, but just, no.
I'm not interested.
In the tour?
In the tour, yes.
Yes. Oh, yes. Oh, no, no. I mean, but no, yes. No, just. Smooth as butter.
Yes. She gets up and just walks away. Good night to everyone. Good night, Pike.
How did she do that? Eventually, all the gnomes have left, and you're all there kind of dumbfounded at the dinner table.
Oh, God, I'm going to need a swatter.
Come back down. Check your pockets. Check your pockets. I've had no valuables on me at
I have everything that I own on me.
Am I missing anything?
I check my hair just to make sure my little brooch is still in it.
Yeah, I check my pouch and make sure my antlers are still there.
No, you guys scan through, pat yourselves down, everything's in place.
You know what I like?
I think they're lovely.
And I like seeing you being bested, regardless of the people.
It's still fond seeing you being bested.
Cheap shot at best.
You are very different from them.
Yes.
They are quirky.
I mean, you're quirky.
Yeah.
But I mean, you know, I haven't seen them in a very long time since I was, since I was a kid.
Why did Pum-Pum take you out of that?
Well, because he was different and sort of had a different...
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Life plan, because he became a cleric and was the first of, I don't know how far back, I don't even know.
And older than all of them.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
And he saw that I was, and he decided we left.
He took me when I was little and we left.
There was a lot that happened, but we just, I didn't know where they were because they just travel.
What, I mean, it's, they just got here, but what's your feel on this?
I don't know.
I heard some things with some discussions I had tonight, and I just need to figure out if they're true or not, and we'll figure out in the next few days just to see what's going on.
This dream that the old one talked about, does that worry you?
How do you know about that?
You don't know that.
No, he does. He does.
He was listening.
Oh, that's right.
I actually talked to him a little bit about that as well.
You did?
Yeah.
What dream? What dream?
What did he say?
He said that there was a thing in your family, a blood curse.
He seemed honest enough when he was saying it.
Said that people pay the price for a slight someone made a long time ago.
and certain members of your family are cursed.
And he's had these premonitions, these dreams before,
and it was his brother who passed away a long time ago.
Yes, this is a thing.
Have you heard about this?
You haven't, because you haven't been
with most of the trick-foot's through most of your life.
Okay.
You've been with Wilhans since you were very own,
like you said, six.
And he's not been eager to talk about the family.
You can see he kind of resents the trick-foot.
clan. So you haven't heard of this, but you also know very little about them.
I mean, Wilhelm never discussed it with you?
No premonitions of a curse from Willand?
He didn't really talk about the family.
It was sort of, you know, he wanted to be separate from them,
and he didn't want me to be influenced by them at all.
Well, I, hang on. I don't mean to question them.
and everything, but...
No, it's fine.
Wilhand kind of defected from the whole family and became a cleric, but he never mentioned
anything of a curse? Why did he become a cleric?
I see your reasoning.
Yeah, that seems like a dichotomy there.
It actually makes perfect sense to me.
He likes helping people.
Or he's terrified of some superstitious curse. Maybe both.
Maybe both.
I mean, we trust you and Wilhan raised you,
so Wilhan must have his head screwed on straight.
Well, I'm going to say you're in a room of people who were raised by
at least 60% of the time, ridiculous people who have their head screwed on straight.
Yeah.
That's accurate.
That's accurate.
Maybe we should ask him about it.
That's where I was going.
Is there any merits in trying to me?
merits in trying to get a hold of Wilhelm right now while they're here?
Can we from here? Is there a way we can...
Well, well, me and I'm going to do.
He's in Western right now. It is also late in the evening.
I mean, I can get us anywhere. Right.
Maybe tomorrow we should go visit him?
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I don't think they're going to burn down the castle.
Right, maybe while they're taking a tool, we banffed to Western for just a minute.
That's a great idea.
I don't necessarily know if, well, I mean, do you want to banff or do you just want to talk?
We could probably just talk to him,
or maybe we could have him sent for.
Do you remember our conversations with Wilhand
when we were in Western?
They were a little squirly.
I'm a little worried about leaving them here and attended.
Well, some of us can stay.
I think it would be a half and half situation.
Split the party.
Split the party!
We could.
As you guys know, Wilhand is a little, you know.
He's in his older years.
We'll try to keep it quick, you know.
But we could try to keep it quick.
In and out, ask him a few questions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and Wilhand is the brother of Ogden?
Ogden?
No.
No.
No.
No.
No, he's older than Ogden.
Yeah.
Wilhand's older than Ogden.
Willhand's older than Ogden.
I thought Ogden was as old as life itself.
No, Ogden did a lot of drugs.
He seems like.
Ogden's had a hard life.
Yeah.
Oggins will be at least 150 or 200 years old.
Yeah. Ogden looks like he's older, but his
His physical, his physicality is not based on age as much as it's based on.
Sure. He had to Mc Jagger lifestyle.
Something akin to that, I guess you'd say.
Or at least the Tom Waits one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, let's circle back tomorrow.
All right.
And while they're doing the tour, maybe we can pop over real quick and
I think that would be better than him seeing them here because they don't really
I mean, even as an outside, that seems a little.
Not sad, that seems a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Rob, you'll take the loud ones tomorrow
and I'll take the quiet ones.
Wait, what? No, I thought I'd get a mall.
Do you want to get them all?
Yeah, don't they want out to be on my tour?
Well, I figured.
Do the tour together.
Maybe you can do a Grog tour and then a Percy tour.
Or you could assist Grog.
Because you asked them, actually.
Yeah.
I love to say.
Also, I was thinking the carpet might be a fine way of moving him around.
Oh.
That is actually a wonderful idea.
They would be pretty pretty.
I'm actually fascinated by that.
The gnome mover?
Yes, quite destructive.
The gnome.
The gnome.
But you know, the Grand Pruban needs
an assistant.
People move her.
The gnome mover.
Right.
Oh.
The tram.
Perhaps.
It's only befitting of your station
that, first of all, age you in such a fashion.
Yes.
Quite, quite.
The two masters of the city, of course.
My history of the city is unrivaled.
I would definitely agree that there are sections of this city,
I would absolutely agree that you are the master of at this point.
Thank you.
There's a lot of brothers and bars on.
And this was my first hookup.
And this was the scene of my second hookup.
This is a big tree.
I'm excited for that.
I am so excited for this.
So as you all eventually find yourselves resting for the evening,
contemplating the plans to take first thing in the morning,
we'll go ahead and close tonight's episode there.
We'll get this up next week.
Because it is on the 11th.
You can be not be here next week?
No. Oh, well, I'll just be a little bit.
She might be a little way.
Just get me straight from the airport.
Yeah.
Co-co.
We'll do the tour first while you guys are off,
trick me out with a...
Banting.
Yeah.
We'll just all if we need to.
We'll make it happen.
Okay.
What you got you?
All righty guys.
Well, thank you so much for watching tonight.
Hope you enjoyed as much as we did.
We'll listen.
We're only year older now.
Oh my gosh.
We're older.
We're back here next Thursday, 7 p.m. Pacific, as usual.
Until then, have a wonderful weekend.
And is it Thursday yet?
Talk to that, guys.
Go buy T-shirts!
Talk.
