Critical Role - C2E107 Devoutness and Dicks

Episode Date: September 3, 2020

With less than a week until Traveler Con, the Mighty Nein put on their party planning hats to prep Rumblecusp for the unruly event.Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Once upon a time, a group of curious storytellers breathed life into epic tales set in the wide fantasy world of Exandria. This is Liam O'Brien, here to welcome you to Critical Role. We'll dive into the story in just a moment, but first, a few notes. This is the audio-only version of our broadcast that streams Thursdays at 7pm Pacificm. Pacific over on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. If you subscribe to our Twitch channel, you can watch the video on demand immediately after the broadcast.

And it's also available Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific on YouTube. And of course, for all you wonderful podcast listeners, freshly minted episodes release right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network one week after our broadcast on Thursdays. With all that said, let's get into the story. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're Dungeons & Dragons!

There you have it. Before we jump into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with the first of our two sponsors tonight, Sam. Thank you, Matt. This episode is brought to you by Elderwood Academy, makers of quality gaming-themed gear, including spell books, deck boxes, dice towers, rolling trays, and a whole lot more. They specialize in-

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is going on? Taliesin, Elderwood Academy wants me, Sam Riegel, to do the sponsorship tonight, and not you, okay? What are you talking about? I am Sam Riegel. Can't you tell by my inane smile and my spongy, feeble hand?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Nice try, but come on. Everybody here knows that I'm the real Sam Riegel, right, guys? I mean. I don't know. I'm actually having a hard time telling who is who. I mean, you both seem really bad at sports. Okay, okay.

Look, it's me. I mean, look, look at my cow-sized teeth. No, no, I'm Sam. Look at my lack of human emotion and overwhelming hubris. Yeah, this is tough. I mean, they're both really annoying. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I know!

Let's ask them questions to prove which one's the imposter. Okay, candidate A. How much does a carton of milk cost? Well, not very much. Somewhere between $100 to $400, I presume? I mean, that sounds like Sam. He's never done his own shopping. Candidate B, what is something you'd say to your pet dog?

Oh, well, that's a simple question. You run their hand across their, I want to say, hair, and you call them an excellent canine, and then fetch your butler to go disinfect your hands right afterwards. Yeah, you know, Sam is terrible with animals. So that actually does track. Candidate A, if you could have lunch with any celebrity,

living or dead, who would it be? Myself, of course. What a stupid question, Marisha. Oh, what an asshole. That's our Sam. I'm pretty sure it's candidate A, but okay. Just in case, both of you answer the following question. What is the URL of tonight's sponsor?

Hold on a second, I've got it right here. It's elderwoodacademy.com slash Critical Role. Oh, yeah. That Sam, most definitely. How did you know? Sorry, Taliesin. Sam may have no social awareness, sincere feelings, and you know,

hell, he might not even actually be a really good person. But the one thing he is perfect at is corporate chilling. You can't fake that kind of insincerity. Aw. Yeah. Thank you, Matt. That's really nice. Anyway, Elderwood Academy makes high-end, customized gear for all players and characters. Everything's designed to be functional and immersive.

Check out their amazing stuff at elderwoodacademy.com slash Critical Role. And they're offering our audience 15% off when you use the code CRITROLL2020 at checkout on elderwoodacademy.com slash Critical Role. I love you guys. Back to you, Matt. What a piece of shit.

Thank you, Sam. You are a piece of shit. Our second sponsor tonight, our returning friend since the beginning of this campaign, our friends at D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond! They have their new Avrae Discord bot available, which is designed to streamline playing D&D games

on Discord, which is pretty awesome. You can link Avrae directly into your D&D Beyond account and it'll help you run your games online with your friends through the Discord app. Features advanced dice, SRD, and character sheet integration, initiative tracking. You'll actually never need another D&D bot again. For now.

But yeah, start playing D&D through Discord today at dndbeyond.link slash A-V-R-A-E, Avray. Also, it is D&D Beyond's third anniversary, which is amazing. Congratulations to you guys. Three years of making awesome stuff easier for people. They're giving away a free dice of healing set to anybody who's a subscriber this month

as part of this anniversary. So enjoy and happy anniversary to you guys. Amazing. I want it. Well, you should sign in and do it. Okay. Right now, you can. You have it. We have the technology. Literally, it's in front of you. All right.

Other announcements we got, in case you guys missed it, Vox Machina Origins Volume Two is available right now! Whoa! It's so pretty. It's not printed on the pages, even? I know, it's crazy. You can pull on the book. This wonderful series written by our good friend,

Jodie Houser, she does an incredible job with this. Original art by our amazing Olivia Sampson, who started this series with us. Color by Massasic, did I say it right? I think so. I always get it wrong. I'm so sorry if I got it wrong again. Lettering by Ariana Mayer and designed by Cindy Kasserez-Sprague, I believe.

And sorry if I messed it up, too. But we have the trade paperback, as you saw, with the wonderful cover art there from our good Critter friend, William Kirkby, which you've probably seen his art through many of our galleries and online. At ShamOnkey. He's amazing. Indeed.

Available at your local comic and bookstores, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and as well as digitally through Dark Horse Digital and Comixology. There is also the hardcore limited edition version of volume two, which sits alongside the volume one. So beautiful. Awesome, it's so pretty. Ah!

It looks demonic, I love it. I know, it's pretty intense. Works within the story and themes of it. No, I haven't seen that. It comes with the foul red cover, the foil-stamped cover and slipcase designed by the same Cindy who I mentioned earlier, and lithographed with art by Hunter,

Severin Banyan, and Stefan McGowan. Yeah, they gave me all the names tonight, so I'm ruining them all and I'm so sorry. But the limited edition is available exclusively through Critical Role. It's like our own program. You even ruined our own names. I know! I know! It's too many names. They're all just falling apart now.

We're done, we're done, I'm out. We're recording second. The limited edition is available exclusively through our U.S., U.K., and Australia online shops. And once it's gone, it's gone. So get one if you can. Whoa. There's that.

And a big, quick shout out to the game Pop-Up Dungeon, which just came out recently. It's a tactical roguelike RPG video game that was inspired by tabletop games like the ones that we play here. You face incredibly difficult campaigns as you play. You can also create your own abilities, items, heroes, villains, and games to customize entirely.

It's super adorable. You can check out Pop-Up Dungeon on Twitter for a special giveaway that we're running right now and see if you can hear some familiar voices throughout the game, including myself. So they're awesome folk. They've been working hard on this and it's actually pretty cool, so check them out.

Awesome. And last but not least, Laura, you had something to talk about. I did. Oh yeah. What is it? What is it? Well, it's just a little thing, but we were off last week, but while we were off, this went on sale

and I had to show it off. Is that a Frumpkin? It is! It's a Frumpkin little pink thing plushie! Ah! Party! It's so cute! It's blushing! Ah! Party! So cute! It's the cutest!

So this is in the U.S., U.K., in Australian shops, and it's designed by Jenny Park. It's available right now. Check your shop so you have it in stock. Itty bitty pumpkin. It's so cute, and it would make a great Christmas ornament, I think. Oh yeah, it would!

Just don't drop it or it goes. Yeah. Don't send him to go looking for anything because he won't find it. Keep out of reach of guards. You want to see it, Liam? Yes! You can keep him on your desk. Yes, please.

Good bro. Oh, do I'm a dog person now, but I still love him. Look at him. So yeah, there's that. Awesome. Thank you, Laura. You're welcome. All right, I believe with that, it is time for us to jump into tonight's episode of

Oh god. Critical Role. Yeah! The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair, They got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there There's a monster incoming Inspiration is fading Rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands Take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice

Roll the dice Roll the dice Can you answer the call? Critical Role Critical Role Critical Role Critical Role Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn It's your turn

To Role Oh! And welcome back. Wow. I had to finish it, it was the hardest part. I'm going to cover her up in dirt. We're already off the rails and we haven't started. So, last we left off, the Mighty Nein, after spending some time on the island of Rumblecusp in anticipation

for the coming preparations of Traveler Con, you discovered a people that lived here who had lost their memories over time and some seemingly ancient entity known as Vokodo that had taken residence beneath the mountain. Upon learning about the different mysteries and dangers throughout, you discovered a cavern full of abandoned ships. You fought dangerous creatures around

and eventually went beneath the mountain itself to fight this Vokodo creature. You learned, as it was dying, of what it was it seemed to be fleeing from within the Astral Sea. You escaped the boiling waters with the treasure that you had accrued from its horde, and it seemed freed the people of Okoto from this clouding fog that removed the memories from them. As they returned, many of them realized who they once were and decided to return to their old life. Some chose to stay with the new life they had made here,

but nevertheless, a night of final celebration for the villagers of Okoto, as the village that it once was, was brought forth around a large bonfire. You all help them into this final night. You saw some early arrivals to the Traveler Con event begin to try and find their place amongst the vicinity. And after saying your bits before the next day,

you went and crashed up in Vilya's room and went to bed. And that was where we left off. So as the warm temperature of the temperate island morning begins to creep into the chamber, the seaside moisture in the air itself sticking in a sweaty way to your skin, you begin to wake up one by one

within the comfortable interior of the tree where Vilya had taken up residence as a Viridian for quite some time. So, what would you like to do, Mighty Nigh? Did you have your morning constitutional? Or is that just you waking up? Just waking up. Oh, okay, cool, cool, cool. Gotta love being regular.

What should we do? I mean, I suppose we should start setting up. Well, yeah, obviously. But the people, can we peek outside? Are there still a bunch of people running around, looking worried? Are there bodies on the ground? Oh, yeah. Just a massacre.

No. Yeah. Shit, we slept heavy. As you glance out from the elevated portion of this tree where you guys spent the evening, you look into the main loose thoroughfare of this village that surrounds the central space, and you can see there are people walking about, some folks that are going about their common day-to-day

business within the village of Vo, some people that have gathered things and are currently packing what looks to be a group of individuals that are in the first batch of those leaving for the day. Vilya has already left, woke up before any of you did, and is not in the chamber. And you can see now from above that she is currently

gathering with those individuals, prepping them, and making sure that everyone who is leaving today has everything they need, because it is a one-way trip for them. Right. And she's going to, wait. Have we already set up the dispersal for, we were going to give everyone a little money right before they?

Yeah, it was. We were going to give them a to-go bag or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were going to give them each 50 gold, everybody that was leaving. So if, do you remember what I gave you guys, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, of course. Okay, so if everybody gives me back 112 gold, then I don't give Vilya any gold.

But Vilya, you'll still get a bunch of platinum. Is that okay with you? She can't hear you from this side up, but she's currently conversing. It's not imminent. The people aren't getting ready to leave now, but you gather probably in the next couple hours or so, they'll probably be shoving off.

Okay. If I don't give any gold to Vilya, but we still give her a bunch of platinum and silver and copper, then everybody will get 50 gold that's leaving. That's 60 people, roughly, leaving that will get 50 gold each. Artie threw you 112. Okay. Same.

We'll put it all in little bags. What? 112. 112. I'll also give an. We'll put it all in little bags. What? 112. 112. I'll also give an extra 50 for Vilya, because... So she can get 50 gold? Yeah, that's great. Well, yeah, I mean, she's got a family that she's got to get back to.

I'll also give 50 gold to Vilya. She needs it, yeah. I'll throw in a 50, too. Oh, that's great. Yeah. So she gets 150 gold, that's wonderful. Why don't we make it an even 200? Ooh, boy. Okay. Might as well. I don't know what I'm going to do with this money.

There's no judgment. Don't you fucking, don't you fucking! We're all throwing in, but if you guys don't want to, that's fine. I saw that look. I'm not, if you've got needs, I understand. It is fine. I live very frugally. It is an optional donation.

Eyes just above the teacup, I saw it. Stop looking at me, Veth. I just think you're great. All right, fine. It's one of those situations where the gratuity is already on the receipt and that's already been taken care of. 250 gold tevillia. Excellent service. Cool, cool, cool.

And who knows, you know, if she has to go home to her family, if she has to take care of her family. Or an entire village of people. She definitely does, yes. She grew a leg out of plants. I think she's five. Four, probably. Did you want to give 50 gold to Vilya? Who? Did you want to give 50? Marisha, you need

that flashlight on right now? Is that something you need? No, I need to be calm. How much is she getting right now? Oh. Right now? I was wondering what that was. Beau, turn your stupid gloves on. Sorry, I can't read the menu. It's so dark in here. Give me back my drift globe.

What are you doing? Okay, so 250 gold for Vilya. Yeah, so. 300 gold for Vilya. Good job, Fjord. She's somebody's mother, I'm just saying. Somebody. Somebody's mother. I mean, she's been here for so long that her kids are grown up by now.

Yeah, she could be lying through her teeth. I have a family. We need to do an insight check. Yeah. Sounds like a good cover story. Yeah. Just what she wants you to think. I gave 50 gold.

Yeah. That's nice. Fine. One, two, three, four, five, six. Hold on. One. Oh boy. Two. Oh boy. Oh no.

Three. Riveting. Four, five, six. Okay, so 350 gold for Vilya. That's wonderful. So while Vilya is organizing the exodus, I mean, should we ask her if she needs any help or anything, or do we just turn our attention to?

I mean, we got to get started setting up for Traveler Con, you guys. We only have like six more days. Maybe it's time to go. Oh no, I was. I have no plans. Harder for you to give me money, so I figured you can talk.

You go first. I was very impressed. Okay. Yeah, go ahead. What do you need from us? Well. I mean, I think we probably need to build a stage, right? We need to have some sort of area where everyone can congregate, right?

Sure. So we can work on that. Something that people can do for fun, so they're not bored standing around. We don't want people getting in fights. They need to be distracted. Fights are a lot of fun. I don't. Yeah, but.

We should make a fighting rink. We can make a fighting rink! A fight pit. Yeah, and we can make it in the shape of a circle and we can throw some little balls in there and stuff. That's cool. Yeah. Does that thematically connect with, I mean, this is a religious pilgrimage, correct? I mean, does that?

Like chaos and mayhem? Yeah, like, you know? Okay. Maybe like food fighting or something, I don't know. Ooh, that's good, that's good. Like something you could throw at people, but it doesn't hurt too much. It's like a little cafe,

but you have to fight for your food while you're in there. That's pretty good. But not aggressively, just pie fighting. Maybe a big wall where people can draw stuff. Pie fighting. Where are we right now? Are we still in our digs? You're still in Vilya's chambers right now, yeah. I guess, Jess, what's the overall goal?

What is the culminating climactic event of TravelerCon? What are we aiming for? Ultimately, the goal, and I need to talk to the Traveler about this, because, you know, I'm having some thoughts, but, if you like the deuces. You are sweating so much right now. Well, it's warm in here.

Yeah, but Apple does not fall far. The ultimate, what we're trying to make people believe is that this Traveler has ascended. Like, he's, you know, beyond the gates, and he's a goddy-god-god now, and he's no longer going to be able to, like, be right next to everybody. He's as powerful as the Wild Mother

or as the Lightning Guy or as, you know, this dragon or whatever the other gods are. I don't know. So, you know, he's got to be seen that way. So the Ascension rite is the main event. Yeah, that's the culmination of everything.

Okay, do you know where you'd like that to happen? Well, here's what I'm thinking we could maybe do. So we can't actually r right, he can't actually ascend because he's not a god. Yeah, but he can shoot up into the sky or something. He could shoot up into the sky. I don't know how grand it would be. He can make himself look really, really big.

There's also that. I was thinking, what if we made people think that they saw the Ascension, but they didn't actually? Like, what if I asked people, you know, like, hey, guys, we need a few human sacrifices, you know? And what if a few people volunteered for that? Maybe one of you guys would be one of the volunteers?

You're going to kill one of us? Listen. Okay. Beth. This just got extremely interesting. Oh! As you both shift and you go to the source of the voices, you can see in one of the darker corners of the chamber, where the heavy interior woodwork of the tree

that has been carved away, the shadow folds in there, the cloaked figure steps out the hood back with the long, heavy, curling batch of lion mane-like reddish-orange hair as the Traveler, Artagan, steps forward. Terribly sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I'm just, I had a moment, thought I'd come in

and see how things are going on. I run over and I give him a hug. Oh, Jester. Are you excited? I'm excited. Yes! Um, yes. So did you hear what I was saying about human sacrifice? That's about as much as I got,

and I'm very interested to hear how this is going to work. So we ask people to be a human sacrifice, right? Mm-hmm. We take the volunteers, we drag them off to the volcano or something. Ooh. And then we tell them they have to be separated so we can cleanse them or some shit like that.

I don't know, however you prepare people for sacrifice. I like it. And then we alter their memories! Who can do that? Me! Oh, like you did with the witch. Oh, like you did Oh, yes. We change their memories,

and I bet you can do it, too. I've altered a few memories. You're the one who taught me how to do it. So we alter their memories and make them think that they were sacrificed and that they were brought back to life watching you ascend into the heavens.

So not just a sacrifice, but this act brought them back to life. Yeah. So we can do it two ways. Like, what if, like, one, we don't actually make them think that they were sacrificed. We could make it be like, like, just kidding. We just want to see who really loved the Traveler.

As a present for really loving him, you get to see the Ascension. There's that one. Or we can make them think that they really died. Really died, you get to see the Ascension. There's that one. Or we can make them think that they really died. Really died, and then because of the Ascension, they were brought back to life. Yeah, because he's so powerful. And then they go back and they're really believing it,

so then they tell everybody that they watched him ascend. I love it. That's great stagecraft. It's really excellent production value. I will say, as someone who has dabbled religiously, the human sacrifice angle sets a dangerous precedent, I suppose would be the... I mean, is this just going to become a thing that other people do?

Well, I thought that's, you know, I just figured that might be something that was needed for ascending. This is an interesting point, though, actually. We are dealing with individuals in faith, and we have a very different connection than most divinity does. And while I don't particularly ascribe

to all the ideals of your mistress. That's fair. You do have quite a bit of experience with the fanaticals. So maybe you'd be a right partner for this planning endeavor. Would you be interested? I mean, while I'm obviously not a believer, I am here to help.

There's room for a lot at the table. Wonderful, you two work together then. Oh boy. Okay. If I may, just a few things. The people who we get to sacrifice themselves or... However we do it. If a human sacrifice is not the way, we can figure something out. I love the idea.

Just a heads up, they may be considered, you know, like prophets or something afterwards, and they may be praised themselves. Is that okay with you? Have you ever met anyone who thinks that they came back from the dead? Remember Molly? He was insufferable.

God, the ego. I'm just saying, we could be creating an ego again. Did you just say, do you remember Molly? Yeah. You know, not like, do you remember Molly, but do you remember his shitty disposition? How long ago was it? Ish.

It's been almost half a year. Oh, wow. Six months. You're right. We do remember Molly, and a long time. A number of months, at least. A number of months, at A number of months at least So maybe it's just like, you know They don't actually think that they died

Maybe it's, you know They They got the blessing because they were so devoted No, I think it's great though But you know what I really like about that plan If I may, and the only reason I'm speaking with any authority at all is Once in Felderwin,

I went to see a play and it was called Peter Fawn. And it was, and so there was lots of stagecraft and stuff, but at the end, towards the end of the play, they did this thing where there was a fey creature,

a little fey pixie creature, who had died, and they were like, everyone in the audience needs to clap to bring the fey creature back to life again, right? And so the audience participating in the event made you really feel for that character so much. So what I'm saying is. Strangely, that is an actual ritual that works.

Oh, wow, it's based in fact. That was a documentary. Believe it or not. Not that I've seen it, I hate the theater. Go on. You hate the theater? Shh, continue. You asshole. Anyway, I was just going to say, the audience doing something to make this ascension happen would get them even more emotionally invested in it. So like if they were like.

They all had to bang on drums or. That's amazing. Maybe during the week you said something like, we should all give them a fun activity. Maybe it's making their drumstick or something. And they all lick dicks! Yes! And then at the end of the week, they all beat their dicks as hard as they can.

Didn't you carve some? Just beat that dick as hard as you can. They'd make my little team as a team. And that'll make the travel just shoot up. Interesting idea, you're not wrong on that. What if, what if they pray, beat whatever too hard, and it destroys me?

Then it's not my fault, and it destroys me. Then it's not my fault, it's on them. They're left with the guilt and I'm home free. Ooh, I like it! Wait, what? Had you beat a dick so hard that it can kill someone? It'll make you go blind. I've heard of dicks falling off. Wow. They have to be really infected,

like almost like, but they've fallen off. Hang on, though, why that choice? Why leave them with prolonged and insufferable guilt for something that they didn't actually do when it could be spun a little bit more positively? Well, you know what? To give them a big event, a big party,

and if it does not reach the climax that they were hoping for, then they have to redouble their efforts and continue their faith and try harder. No, no, no. Into the future. I like it better if the Traveler dies. No offense. I'm not actually going to die. Yeah, I know.

I like it better that way because then they can move on to another god and they're not trapped forever, believing in something that's not going to help them. Okay, I can get behind that. Right. But maybe we sidestep the it's their fault thing? Yes. I suppose so, yes.

Oh, well, yeah, sure. If it was something that, like, it's an ecstatic death, like he is obliterated so that he can go forth into the heavens never to be seen again, and that's something that he wanted? You did say worship something else. Is there a way to, like, pass the divine buck, even?

Sure, I mean, what if we said, like, oh my gosh, you know what? The Traveler has been, like, super buddy-buddy with, I don't know, the Wild Mother or something. The Moonweaver or something. And the Traveler's now telling you, oh, you should worship this other person because they're best friends or something.

Interesting. You endorse another god or something. Yeah, an endorsement. Just to be clear, though, and it seems like this ship has sailed, but there isn't any chance you would want to actually try to be the thing these people think that you are. God, no, there's way too much responsibility.

It's just surprising that there's so much responsibility for what is essentially a chaos religion. Trust me, at a certain point, it just becomes untenable. I want to do my things, not their things. Yeah. Out of curiosity, what are your things? It'll just help creatively. This is the pre-interview?

Yeah. I don't take you to be a creature of the whim. Thank you. That's not all that I am. Nothing but whim. Whimsy, if you will. Whimsy, I like whimsy. But in the sense that it's whatever I want to do, whenever. And I do not want anybody else to tell me not to do it.

Is there anything you just don't like to do, or other than the theater? There needs to be a fun element of it, which means a bit of misery to those that probably deserve it, and a bit of misery to those that probably deserve it, and a bit of laughter for those that don't. Moonweaver. The Moonweaver.

So you like to get your hands on life and just squeeze it for all it's worth. Oh, continuously. In fact, there was this, no, another time. If I may, have you made yourself as available to these people that are arriving as you have to Jester over time? Oh, dear me, no.

I think, and it is not your fault at all, my dear, but you've spoiled me. I assumed it would be the same experience elsewhere, but you're one of a kind. Most everyone else in this world is, well, dreary, boring, aggressively selfish. There's a bitch out there. Which one? What?

Like, what was her name? Celia? Celia, yes. She found one of your pamphlets, actually. She did? Yes, passing through. Oh, they work. Oh, well, sorry about that, but.

It's all right. Look, she's a bit of a bitch, but that cruelty makes for some fun pranks on occasion. Oh, I bet she does some really mean ones, huh? Yes, maybe not always to the right targets, but she's learning. She's one of the ones I'd like to possibly. Well then, maybe that's the goal,

is to remove you from the equation, but see if we can keep everyone practicing what seems to be giving them a sense of joy and completion. It certainly gives you a sense of joy and completion to be going around and spreading a little dissonance and chaos. Chaos. Chaos works well. And frivolity, I guess. and spreading a little dissidence and chaos. Chaos works well.

And frivolity, I guess. I don't know. The best way I can describe it is it's, I've grown bored with having a religion, or a cult, as some have said. I'm always just sitting in an exclusive club. Handful of chosen individuals. They get cards and everything, it's wonderful.

Sure, but just to set them free to do their own thing, especially if their own thing is kind of what they were doing already. Yeah, and if what they're doing is fun and they want me to come help, maybe I'll stay for some fun. We can keep you out of it, if you like. Caduceus, what does the Moonweaver look like, generally? Yeah, please do tell me. You keep talking about this Moonweaver.

I'm not very up to speed with some of your gods. Mostly what I know about the Moonweaver is because we have a few followers of the Moonweaver in the back home, in the ground, obviously. From what I remember from the few times that we've had to run it, it's not chaos necessarily, but some trickster-ish stuff, from the few times that we've had to run it. It's not chaos, necessarily, but some trickster-ish stuff,

a little bit of lighthearted disguise and silliness. A little bit of a, oh man, this has been a while. I'm familiar with the Moonweaver. I'm just seeing what your information was. Oh, you. What does the Moonweaver like? Eh, some similar ideas of trickery, though they're... A little more low-key?

They're a little more, I don't know, esoteric and mysterious. I like to be a little more present. Could make a bit of a heavier subset of that, if you know what I mean, kind of a little bit of more chaos, less illusion. I'm surprised you're interested in passing followers off

to someone who isn't your purview. I mean, there's room for a lot in this world, and if you have a whole planet of carpenters, then nothing ever gets done. You need a bit of everything. And we're fine. That's a rare mindset in religion these days. I respect that.

Thank you. Pleasure. I was only wondering if we are doing this handoff to the Moonweaver, it might help, only because our means are limited. If you had the ability to, I don't know, create some sort of grand show as the Moonweaver and officially usher them over, maybe not appearing as yourself, but as this deity,

then it might help move things along. Or face the Moonweaver. See, deities are very, well, sometimes vain creatures that don't enjoy being made fun of in grandiose falsehoods and displays of ridiculousness. In fact, it quite makes them frustrated. So I love this idea.

What are they going to do? Be frustrated that we shunned some more followers? They'll be fine. We're giving people to worship her, like she can be that pissed, right? I like it. That's way better than my human sacrifice. And we're planning to frame this.

Oh wait, we're losing the sacrifice element. I mean, I guess we don't have to. I think it's probably for the best. It just leads to. What think it's probably for the best. It just leads to... What if we just said, like, oh, I need sacrifices to be skinned, but you stay alive or something.

People are going to feel. To be skinned? Holy shit, Jester! It feels darker than actually it does. But we can explore the idea. Don't throw any ideas off the table yet until we've had a full discussion. What if you just needed one human sacrifice, or sacrifice,

and it's an oddie, I also saw a magic show once, and they had an audience plant. What if it's someone who raises her hand and is like, I'll volunteer, and this lovely woman walks out and volunteers to be the human sacrifice and is brought into the lava pit or whatever. And then all of a sudden, wings sprout out of her and she shoots up into the sky like it was planned

or something, I don't know. No. I mean, I could, but I feel like these are still so new, and I feel like I don't want to betray the Stormlord in any way. Oh, right. You know? That's true. What if you brought a bunch of followers to the Moonweaver,

and then he was like, fuck you, and taking the wings back? Yeah. And I just want to say, you know, putting the human sacrifice thing, you know, you do it once, and it goes on the calendar, and then there's going to be a human sacrifice anniversary holiday.

And they'll keep doing it. And they'll keep doing it, and then 20 years, and like, Vokodo, or Rumblecusp is known for its cannibalism and human sacrifice. You know what? I think you're right. One Punch Girl and Mr. Preyman over there probably have a better idea about this than I expected.

I mean. No sacrifice. I'm literally the descendant of people who buried a head somewhere, and this is sort of how we ended up where we are. Oh, right. How about this? How about this? How about this? We're spitballing here. Okay, okay, okay.

No, there's no bad ideas. There's no bad ideas. I'm ready, I'm ready. Pitching here. Okay, okay, okay. No, there's no bad ideas. There's no bad ideas. I'm ready, I'm ready. Pitch us again. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Because we do want them to give of themselves somehow. Yeah. What if it's not sacrifice?

What if it's not killing, bloodletting, any of that stuff? What if it's like a 24-hour sweat lodge, sort of like fasting. Like dance-off. Yeah, a 24-hour dance party, a 48-hour dance party where people are dropping. Everybody has to dance. And dropping and dropping and can they make it? Can they make it?

It's true certainly someone will. And that person will initiate the rites of ascension. Oh no, we're doing Midsommar again. Oh no, oh no. Oh yes. What if we take all of the dick statues that I made for you, and instead of giving them away as party favors,

we hide them all around the village. Dick hunt! And you go on a dick hunt! Oh, that's great! Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then once all the dicks are found, then that triggers the ascension. Sure.

What if they find the dicks and then they have to do a pilgrimage up the mountain to the volcano and they have to toss their dick in the volcano? Oh, that's really good. I'm not going to lie. This has already unlocked a beautiful possible benefit to the design of this entire divinity thing.

Imagine if hundreds of years from now, Sahalene themself, out of their control, has had to absorb some sort of a dick festival into their warship, starting with this island. The Moonweaver's religion entirely altered. I love this plan. Dick sect. How do you?

How do you what? How do you feel about a human avatar, like a chosen one? You could always just pass a cloak onto that one and then it would become, I don't know if you want that kind of responsibility for being a high priestess of a god that's wandered off. Well, I mean, I'm not opposed to it,

becoming a high priestess, but. Like a prophet, like a, like a. The prophet of the Traveler? Yeah. But I would be basically, anybody that came to me, I'd be like, Traveler's really cool, worship the Moonweaver? And leave them questioning everything. Yeah. I mean, there's upsides.

On brand. Yeah, yeah. But also, every single person trying to connect with the Traveler would then come to you. How would they even find me? We travel around so much. Don't you just send messages to some people anywhere they are at any time? Well, yeah.

Seems like it might be easy. For other people to do it? To find you. There are quite a few people here who I've taught the same thing to. Oh no. Why do you teach other people the cool stuff? Not every, I didn't realize that was such an exclusive gift.

My apologies. Oh my god, it's the best. It's so much fun. I can take it away, too. It's my mind. Yeah, take it from them. Like, don't take it from me. Did you really just take it away, too. It's my mic. Yeah, take it from them. Like, don't take it from me. All right, done.

Did you really just take it away from me? Yeah. Somebody got their collect call hung up on. Hello? It's that easy. Hello? Oh my god. That felt really good. Not that, but like, you know, I feel bad for them, but. I feel good for myself.

So what is the plan? We're making a stage. We're making a stage. We're killing everyone and making dicks. We're going to have Yasha play music, it'll be a big concert when everybody gets here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we going to have them make drumsticks during the week?

Is that a thing? Why not? We can have them make their own. We'll hide all of the dicks around the island, like around the village. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll hide all of the dicks around the island, like around the village. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should do that today. I understand, and dick drumming makes sense, but then how do you segue into freeing him from his fetters?

Well, we have to, you know, everybody throws their dick into the volcano or something. Yeah. And then you guys use your big illusions or whatever. Sure, sure. And make it seem like the Traveler, like maybe you can make it look like big green flames come out of the volcano all of a sudden.

Okay. And then you, the Traveler, you look like big green flames come out of the volcano all of a sudden. Okay. And then you, the Traveler, you look like the Moonweaver, and you fly down and you're like, hey, I'm attracted to this green flame. I don't fucking know. Or you can fly up into the moon.

Eventually, I figure that'd probably be the most likely. Oh yeah, or you are. Yeah, yeah. An evening celebration may have to be important. It's rather difficult to see either of the moons during the midday period. I guess we don't have to actually go to the volcano. We can just have everybody throw their dicks into a fire. No, no, no, the volcano seems right.

It seems like a big thing. You want a big set piece here. And Caleb pulls out a bit of fleece and casts a major image and like an illusion of the volcano in amber, of course, hovering like a model in front of us. And there are little arches,

four of them floating around the top and green flame coming out of the amber volcano. A light show, Chester, is not a problem. We can make this place look like anything you wanted to, but I still don't understand the messaging, I suppose. Well, if we see the Traveler ascend,

then the High Priestess can sort of ascribe any sort of meaning to it that she wants. The mouthpiece of the Moonweaver, that's what you would be. The Traveless, the voice of the Traveler. She is blue, that definitely tracks. Maybe, you know, in order to pass on,

you know that your time as a deity has come, and in order to pass on, you have to have everyone do the dick trials. And then that's the final thing. Oh, there's a bit of confusion here on my point as well. Just a bit. the dick trials. And then that's the final thing. Oh, there's a bit of confusion here on my point as well. Just a bit. So is it that the Traveler has secretly been

the Moonweaver this entire time? Oh! Or is it that the Traveler has decided to just give up to the Moonweaver? Like, let's clarify the narrative here. I don't want us to cross wires in the middle of this. It'd be embarrassing. Let's just say the Moonweaver? Let's clarify the narrative here. I don't want us to cross wires in the middle of this. It'd be embarrassing. Let's just say the Moonweaver the whole time.

That's easier. All right. Let's say the Moonweaver has actually been helping us out the whole time and it's all been like a big trick. Oh, ha ha ha, just kidding. You're the Moonweaver. Perhaps the message here is like,

oh, you thought it was the Angel of Ions, but surprise, buddy, it's actually the Chained Oblivion. Yeah. My apologies. Yeah. There's an issue with the ship dealing with some sort of a turtle thing. I'll be back shortly. Workshop it a bit.

I'll check in in a few days. I think we're almost there. Good luck. We're almost there. Oh, okay. Don't turn, we said hi. Did he say he has to go do some turtling? He said that I think the dragon turtle is attacking another ship. Hey, maybe a little cut down on the attendees.

That's already something in our favor. So much darker than I anticipated. People die. Okay, okay. Yeah, you're right. So, ultimate switcheroo. You know what? I'm feeling better about this because I'm not going to lie, you guys, I was starting to feel really shitty

about duping a whole bunch of people, you know? Aren't we still duping a bunch of people? Yeah, but this way, they're actually getting a god out of it, you know? Sure, sure, sure. No, that does make it better. The thing that was really shitty was like, all these people were going to be basically praying to avocado, you know?

Like stuck in this faith that didn't actually mean anything. But now we're pointing them towards a real faith. Well, only the people on this island were praying to Pocoto. There are many more who are only dealing with your friend before coming here. Maybe it is simply saying that this was a, we have come to find you

to become a follower of the Moonweaver, and that you're like a recruiting system, and that it was a bit of an illusory front. Clearly, you all were yearning for something more in your life and helping others or spreading chaos, and you're starting a new sect of the Moonweaver's Faith. Past selection.

Yeah. Also considering that there aren't many approved deities in the Empire, you could totally just say that you had to Fair point. use an alias in order to protect the Moonweaver. All right, is the Moonweaver allowed in? I don't know.

Is the Moonweaver one of them? Moonweaver, I believe, is not a sanctioned entity. I'm pretty sure the Moonweaver is not allowed. Trickery! Probably not. I'm 80% sure the Moonweaver was not allowed. 90, I'm 90% sure. I'm 95% sure. I'm sure now. Molly was a follower of the Moonweaver. not allowed. 90, I'm 90% sure. I'm 95% sure. I'm sure now. Molly was a follower of the Moonweaver.

Yeah, hit it. Okay. Okay, that's good. Do you remember Molly? You could make them feel. Yeah, remember him? You could make them feel super special, you know? Like, you are the select few that were so good at practical jokes and things like that

that you were called here and the Moonweaver wants you. Yeah. The Moonweaver wants you out. What's behind the green door is the Moonweaver. The moon. She's a. When is the full moon, by the way?

At this point? Yeah. Well, there's two moons, so. The big moon, twice. Katha's next full moon is probably going to be in about three weeks. But Illusion can probably fix that, too, in a localized area. Ruidus is on the other side of the sky right now. Wouldn't want to touch that anyway.

Go ahead and make a nature check for me. Wait, I thought that the... Spill it. Ah, one. After your mod or natural? After my mod. It was a two. After my mod, it's a one. Beautiful. Yes, you were saying? No, no, no, I don't.

I mean, the Moonweaver is a good pick. It's trickery, but it's romantic and exciting and intimate. And also, if I recall, she's blue in a lot of the stories. She is? If I recall. A little fuzzy. That's kind of cool. That is kind of cool.

And when she appears or when he ascends, we could all, you know, moon the Moonweaver as sort of like a final closing. Yeah, I like it. Writing it down. There's a lot of solid plans here. This is actually going to be a fun weekend. I mean, yeah, people will like. This was a good brainstorming.

There might be some people that are annoyed that they were tricked, but how can they really be that mad if they were tricked by a god of trickery? Absolutely. They knew what they were getting into. People who were finding meaning in trickery. Maybe we found an angle here. You have invited them here to this place that is safe

to form a new, more carefree sect of the Faith of the Moon, even. Yeah, I love it. All right. Did you ever ask the Traveler what he's been telling people will happen at this island? Like what people are expecting? I'm pretty sure... No.

But you know what? He's probably just been telling them the same thing that he told me, which is, I'm getting my friends together. That was a good invitation. Thank you. I just hope it's not like, you know, you'll live forever, or lots of money,

or power beyond your wildest dreams, because then a deity switch really isn't going to satisfy any of that shit. I don't think, that doesn't sound like something he would promise. Well. Like, what's the point of that? He might've done that. He's generally full of shit, right? No! I feel like people know that,

though, right? Yeah. If you're worshiping him, you understand what he is about. So. Well, so we have, you know, the sketch of a plan here. Would you like to assign us any tasks, or should we just go about? We should all take some of these dick statues and pull them out of my bag.

Everybody work on hiding these. Should we also make people gather wood and whittle their own dicks, so you get a variety? Or are they making the dick drumsticks? What about the dick drum making? You could paint them with fanciful dicks. I will save you time. I can build dicks at a great scale.

How? With magic? Oh yes. Do you have a spell for that? Oh yeah. It's called Fabricate Dicks. It's called dick craft. It depends on what material, Jester, you think would be best.

Would you like it to be wood or stone or? Oh, you mean for people to make their dick drums? I will make you dicks. Well, I think part of the, it's like arts and crafts, you know, they have to make their own dicks. I see. Well, you can decorate them. So we could go gather some wood.

We could gather some wooden materials in preparation, and when they get here, they can pick a pile from the wood and pick some paints and pick some brushes and go off and make their own thing. Do we have glue? Paint sticks. We can find some. Do we have glitter? The weirdest color we might have. Yeah, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we can come up with that stuff. We can boil some horse to make some glue. I don't know how people made glue. We can grunt. Boil some horse. Well, I don't know.

How do you make glue in D&D times? What is D&D times? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, what, 1982? We can figure it out, though. We could grind down some of the flowers for paint. Oh, that's a good idea. That's great.

We can maybe, it would be expensive glitter if you shaved down some of the jewels to make. Yeah, that would be jewel dust. That's too much of a word. Yeah. You just get the more you refill and like. So I do have a question, though.

How long do you want this event overall? Oh, no, probably like a day, two days, nothing crazy. Like a weekend? Yeah, like I don't want it to be like a week-long thing of people beating their dicks, you know? Just a couple days. Nobody wants to beat their dick for a week. Not a week straight.

Yeah. I'll tidy it up. I get very tired. Two days max. Chafes after a while. Flour and water is how you make glue. Flour and water. We can do that. We've got a kitchen here. That's easy. That's how you make paste.

That's why it's fun to eat paste when you're little. It's just flour and water. Did you do that a lot? Maybe. Yeah. Here's all the plans that everyone has tossed out that I wrote down. So this is on the whiteboard in front of us. Make a stage, make dick drumsticks,

have a dance-off, beat the drums with the dick drumsticks, dick hunt, dick volcano trial, ultimate switcheroo, Traveler is the Moonweaver, Moon the Moonweaver. Dick Hunt's so much better than Duck Hunt. I used to play that. Dick Hunt. Dick Hunt. Dilly dilly dilly.

Let's dance. Wheels are all solid. I feel like that's the plan. That's a plan, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I can do a station with Dicks and I can handle any light shows. Amazing. I think we'll definitely need a good light show

because Yasha's going to be playing. Okay. Can you play really upbeat, like, you know, rock sort of stuff? Absolutely. Eurovision touch. Yes, yes, all of it. Yasha's so Eurovision.

Yasha is so Eurovision. Very Eurovision. Yeah, very. Who's in charge of building the stage? Well, I was thinking we could get Kel Best to help us out, because he's a furniture maker. Okay. But if Caleb can,

you know, make a stage, no problem. I'll also say, in the interest of doing a little bit more good, we could start talking to some of the people who are planning on staying behind and seeing if they want to participate in getting things together, maybe starting to build some stuff

so that when people come to visit, there's more things to come and visit with. Hopefully we'll leave the stage for them and put it somewhere reasonable so that others can come and enjoy it. Like a permanent outdoor amphitheater? Yeah. Yeah, that would be wonderful, so they can do concerts enjoy it. Like a permanent outdoor amphitheater? Yeah. Yeah, that would be wonderful.

So they can do concerts and stuff. And converting some of their old lodgings into more hotels. Since a bunch of them are empty now. I've already talked to them about that. Great. We do need to get some of them to, that's probably 200 people, that's a lot of food.

And we don't want to just serve cheese sandwiches or anything, so we should get hunting parties together and actually cook stuff, or we could just create food and water. Oh, all we have to do is hunt one of those giant walking lizards that we saw on the way to the volcano. That would feed everybody.

Let's find out if they're tasty. Yeah. I bet they're, I mean, I might be biased, but I bet they're probably delicious. You're biased? They have pretty good taste. I feel like I've had them before. I'll take word for it. DM, have I eaten a T-Rex before? Oh, a T-Rex.

I thought you meant those other things. Looks good. Probably not a lot of meat on the arms. It looks good. The rest of it. It's all about the tail. It's all about the tail. It's all about the tail. Tail is a delicacy.

All right. So we do want to try and hold this convention in downtown Vo. Yeah. Not like 30 minutes outside the city. No, it should be in Vo. Okay. It should be in Vo. The thing is, it's going to be difficult

if we do make the trek up the volcano with everybody to put it in the volcano. Like, that's a trek, y'all. And some of these people may not be very, you know, physically active. I don't know. They made it here. They might die on the way.

Yeah, but they made it here on their boat. Yeah, what does happen if they fall into any one of the traps that were out there? The liquid, the beasts. I mean, do we feel responsible for that because they're throwing dicks into a volcano? Although conversely, a pilgrimage and some difficulty could make it feel earned

and worthwhile. Yep. But we will be escorting like 200 people and some will definitely die. Not definitely, probably, I would say. Most likely. If you'd like, one of us could try to blaze a trail or take some of the VO community up there could try to blaze a trail or take some of the VO community up there and try to blaze a trail up.

That's true, we could spend some of the days prepping that. Make some water stations along the way, some check marks. Oh yeah, good idea. Maybe now that Avocado's gone, maybe some of this stuff will get better here. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, maybe he was causing it to continue.

I don't know. I think he only came through a certain way. I don't think he caused it, right? This seems to be a point of interest. Well, no, he did. He brought all the shards down with him. Oh, I pay real close attention. But the shards are probably still here.

No, no, no. It's probably all still here. They are, as far as I remember. We Did we go to the mine? As far as I remember. We didn't go to the mine. I know that. But that just led to the Underdark scary creature. Just. Yeah, but they also said they had lots of jewels and stuff there.

Yeah, but some shinies. It's hard for the video game. How important is that glitter? We want to go smash every pile. We could get a lot of glitter. We're in that corner. A lot of glitter. We're in that corner. A lot of glitter. New plan, the trial is to the mine.

They have to mine some gems. We get to keep the gems. Trial done. And then, once we get to the volcano, how does everybody get to the top of the volcano? Is there a path so everyone can get up there, or do I need to fly every single person up and down the mountain to throw their dick in?

That could be really fun. We have a couple of big flying creatures. We each grab a couple people, fly them up. Throw your dick in while you're in the air. If you can make it, you win. Dick drop. Yeah, the dick drop into the volcano and fly them back down.

Grab a couple more and go back. Caduceus, Beauregard, Caleb, this is the moment you realize that Vily has been standing at the door for an undisclosed period of time and just steps in very carefully. I don't mean to interrupt. It's just dick.

Nor am I going to ask for clarification. That's probably a good idea. But I am about to send the first batch of books off. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, that's right. If you wish to join. How many people are in the first batch? First batch is 13. And where are they going?

They're heading to Menagerie Coast. We grab 13 of the little 50 gold bags. Okay. And we give them to her. Okay. Make sure you hand them to each person as they go. Should we hold them and give them as they go through?

I want to do it. I can handle it unless you wish to come along. That's up to you. I think we probably should. We are handing out coins. We should go and protect and make sure that people don't notice that you're doing it. Because that's weird. Fair enough. Good call. Vilya, I had a question, actually.

Say you do this tree spell and the portal opens up on this end at the tree and the portal opens up on a tree in the Menagerie Coast somewhere. If, you know, people go one way through, right? If someone's standing at the Menagerie Coast tree, will they see a portal open? And if so, can they come back the other way during those same six seconds? Someone's standing at the Menagerie Coast tree. Will they see a portal open?

And if so, can they come back the other way during those same six seconds? They could. Huh. Well, they can try. I'm on this end, and I have my ways of keeping things at bay. And the wind kicks up a bit in the space

before dying down. But what if you knew where the tree was and you wanted somebody to walk? Yeah, I was specifically thinking, if I went with one of these groups, could I then come back the next day if you opened it at the same time? It's going to be at different locations. We're breaking them up by whoever's heading where,

and I'm getting them closest to where they need to be. I mean, I could, perhaps towards the end of the week, we have it broken down into five batches, so. Never mind, that's good to know. That's good to know. And just for clarity, your five locations are the Menagerie Coast and where else? Menagerie Coast, we have on the eastern side of Tal'Dorei,

I have outside of Asarius in Xhorhas, and I'm having to scry for some of these locations of which I've not visited. So I'm just finding a tree in the vicinity and choosing that. One that's on the outskirts of Zadash, and then one that is on the western coast of Marquet. Oh, wow. And so those are the five

locations that have been chosen. Wow. What is this eastern location in Tal'Dorei? Well, they said eastern Tal'Dorei, so I'm choosing one place I'm familiar with, far from the base of a mountain range from where I'm from. So we'll be leaving soon with the first batch. If you wish to come.

Yes, yes, let's go say goodbye. A little fresh air. All right. Hey, Vilya, how long do you plan on staying here? Are you leaving immediately after the last group is gone? I say as we're walking out. Right. I think once the affairs have set here at the village,

then I'll probably be on my way. I'll stay to help with whatever you're doing with your event, should you need me. Otherwise, I think once I feel like the village is in a good place, I might be comfortable to return to whatever remains of my life. I'm going to be so happy to see you, I'm sure.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious. I don't quite know what to inspect. Have you made contact with them at all? No. Do you made contact with them at all? No. Do you have any way to? I'm not sure. I think I've just been pushing the thought off for a while, just focusing on what's ahead of me.

I'll deal with that when we get there for right now. It might be best to just, you know, tear the bandages off when the moment comes. I can send a message if you want me to. I appreciate that. We'll wait for now. But thank you. Anyway, come, come, follow me. Yes, yes, let's hand out some goodie bags.

And so you guys join in with this crew. A few people you notice, they're mostly the standard villagers here. Two people that do catch your eye are Captain Deramid Theroun, or Lukash, as you knew him, as well as Kotho, Tara, and her team are part of this troop. They're going to go?

Yeah, they're all the Menagerie Coast locals who are going there directly. Oh, wow, so they don't have to take a boat? Yeah. Wow. Can I actually go catch Kotho real quick? Sure, yeah, as everyone's gathering and Vilya's beginning to make everyone over towards where the large tree that she's chosen for the exit would be.

You, Sontra, up next to Kotha. I thought you needed a ship to leave the island. So you found other means of transportation? It appears there are other means of getting off this rock, so we're taking the most direct, most recent way. Right, right. And will you continue on your last search? I don't even know if that contract still remains,

so I'll check into it. Could I ask, what, how much does a contract with the infamous Kotho go for? Depends on what's requested of the contract. Why are you looking to be a client? There is someone that I would like found that I don't know if I feel like dedicating my particular time to. Someone that betrayed my trust a while back

and also came out of the Menagerie Coast. And I figure if you're going to our mutual homestead, perhaps I could put an extra coin in your pocket on your way. Kotho, really for the first time since all the times you've interacted, really gives a strong once-over, like looking at your equipment, basically summing you up as an individual

based on what you wear and what you have on you, and goes, You seem to be getting into trouble and have made some acquisitions in the process. Do you just need this person found and brought back to you? I don't even know if I need them brought back. Perhaps just their position relayed. A head start. Do you have any specific means of instruction you would like?

In person, by letter, or by magic? That is quite a variety of options. Magic, I think, would be. Variety of payments as well. Right. Magic, as we tend to move quite a bit. All right. We'll put it at 200 gold down payment,

with an additional 100 upon completion. That is a mighty price. You have a deal. Hand extends. 200 gold. Shakes it for a second, puts it away in her pouch. So, who am I hunting? There is a half-elf individual named Sabian

that was a crew member on my ship, The Tithe Breath. Our captain was named Vandran. He betrayed our trust. I have not seen him since. The last time he was seen, he was in Port Damali. Any information would be most appreciated. Okay.

Cotho asks for some more details, specifically about what he looked like, you know, general disposition. You give a detailed recounting of Sabian. Eventually, Cotho goes, All right, I think I have enough to act on. I know a few folks I can ask the right questions to that can probably definitely set me on the right path.

Give me a month. A month you have. Very well. I wish you luck. I don't need it. And she turns, and you can see now, they've reached the tree, and as everyone gathers, Vilya kind of goes,

all right, once it's open, be quick, single file, do not push, do not dilly-dally. I hate for any of you to be caught in the tree when it closes. No, seriously, don't do that. It will kill you. All right. She takes the staff and places it down, and like the zipper, you see the doorway open up on the outside of the tree. You glance past and you can see on the other side of this what looks to be a shoreline, a beach crashing against white sand. You see bits of rock emerging

in the nearby rough, where waves are smashing and spraying sea mist into the air nearby. And you can just see, barely in the distance, what looks to be the exterior of a seaside city. As everyone rushes through, the last thing you see is Kotha and her troop making their final steps past

before Kotha looks back at you and gives you a nod. It closes. Did they get their bags? Yes, their bags were part of the process. Oh! So the first match is done. So for the portion of this week that's going by, as opposed to having to feel like you have to role play

every single moment of each day of this week, we will go through certain moments you want to do, any interactions you want to have, and we'll just, I'll go day to day, and you tell me what you want to do. If it's simple or if it's more elaborate, just let me know. So for the remainder of this day, is there anything else you would like to do?

I've mapped out all 21 meals of the seven days that I would like to prepare each individually. No. I don't know, we got to do stuff for you. Yeah, I'll go around and ask the villagers that are staying, like the old lady, if she'll be the chef at the resort and if she'll help prepare food for the con and everything.

Yeah, that's easy enough. You, Anola, agrees to help out. Okay. Yeah. That's easy enough. Anola agrees to help out. And there are a lot of people here in the village that are staying that are eager to help, both because you've done them a great service and because they're excited to meet new folk. Some that they believe maybe they want to stay, too, and take the place of those that are leaving,

since it will feel a partially hollow village for the time being with more than half of them leaving throughout the week. But supplies are being gathered and reaped for the stage that's beginning to be built out and constructed. That's you. I'm going to help with a little stone shape to give it a dome. Ooh, like an amphitheater sort of thing? Okay, okay.

Yeah, so I can shape, I just need the raw materials. If we get enough wood for me to manipulate, I can create such a stage, I can create such a half dome. It will be fluid, curved. We're not talking like a rectangular box. And if you want, we can have phallic protrusions in places, if you think that would enhance the plant. I think maybe we just leave it a little decorative

so that they can use it for other things as well. Oh, that's true. Now we're going to put that back on the dicks. We are leaving it here. Whoa, too much dicks. Easy, Caleb. Calm down. Look, I dislike dicks, okay?

And on day one, at some point, Caleb will take Jester to the main entrance to town and say, Now, I will show you one thing here today, and then with every day that passes, under your direction, we will do this wherever you want on the island, and I will cast Programmed Illusion, and this is just going to stay here.

A huge, 30-foot-tall traveler's gate appears over the entrance to Vo, and it is colorful the same way that the Playa at night is. Vibrant, vibrant green gate, and any time a person walks through it, there's a little silent explosion of little hamster unicorns that explode out of the side of it, as well as little blue moons,

like Lucky Charms, and also little penises. Very small, you might think that they're like butterflies, but if you look close, they're penises. Their balls are flapping? Yeah, yeah, their balls flap. That's lovely. You say, look, isn't that beautiful? Wildlife is so beautiful. That's beautiful. And then also little

blue-skinned fairies with tiny little horns. So all those things go when people walk through the gate. So this will just be here for the week. And this is just a test run. I mean, this will stay, but if you want something like this at the top of the volcano or where the boats will land, I'm not a party planner.

You aren't a party planner, Caleb! You should really be one, this is amazing! You can see a- You should think about this as a new profession. Okay. Other members of the village of Voh, seeing this emerge, start just gathering, going, oh!

You immediately see some of the kids, including Trees, start running through it, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, just laughing. It's like. Skidded trees. Yep, they're just going. And yeah, they're enthralled by it, and the kids are going to wear it out. At least for the people who live here.

This is really great. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Oh my gosh. Okay. This is better than anything else I could have thought of. This is enough. 30 feet. Great. So the first day comes to a close.

Oh wait, we also have to hide all the dicks. We should really do that early before any more people get here, because I don't want them seeing where we hide them. That's true, okay. How difficult do you want them to be hidden? Do you want this hard mode? Should I start climbing trees?

Yes. Okay! I want it to be top to bottom, some more obvious than others, but like... Okay. Are we burying dicks? I want them all to be visible. I don't think they should be buried. Okay. But yeah.

Sure. Yeah, camouflage them. It's like the best Easter egg hunt you could ever imagine. I'll be on dick-hiding duty. Okay. We should divide and conquer, because there's a lot. Of course. It's like 200 dicks, that's a lot. conquer, because there's a lot, there's like 200 dicks. That's a lot. Oh yeah. That's a lot of dicks.

Okay, so who all are hiding dicks? All of us should hide dicks. Should you have all the dicks you need? Yeah, we made them all on the boat. Okay. All right. We made so many dicks. I may start plodding the easiest way to the top of the volcano.

I've also got to find the path so I can start figuring out. Oh yeah, you can find the most direct and safest path. Do you need a group to go with you to widen the trail or anything? Clear the path? Once you're all done hiding the dicks, so we'll make a-

It's like 35. If I could have everybody roll an investigation check for me. For hiding? Once you're all done hiding the dicks, we'll make a, we'll make a. It's like 35 per. Everybody roll an investigation check for me. For hiding? For finding the best locations that you think would be optimal for hiding the dicks. This is the first roll of the day, and it's the hiding dicks.

That dick roll was cocked. Ooh. I love role-playing games. 23, hide those dicks. Five, hide those dicks. 19 dicks. Five, hide those dicks. 19 dicks. 27 penises. 12.

No name? I'm not in there. Oh, you're not in there? Oh, 15 cocks. Five gold rings. Did someone know think of that? 15 cacks. There you go. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

I didn't know your name. It was 21 Pellets' first name. Before the... Oh, y'all should need the chance. Yeah. 12 peens. There we go, okay. Four flapping balls, three small peens. A dozen dollars.

All right, so overall, you guys do a pretty decent job. You're pretty confident that you've hidden the majority of them in places that are attainable, but challenging enough to those that find them will take pride in what they've discovered. All right. Oh no. Every last stick doesn't have to be found, but everybody at the festival has to find one.

Sure, yeah, I know. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Should we make one really special one that if somebody finds that one, they get a crazy prize? Yeah, the golden. Or the emerald dick. The golden dicket. The tear type of a thing?

The golden dicket. I've got a golden dick! A golden dick. A golden dick! A golden dicket. Yeah, we totally should. I don't know what the prize is, but maybe, maybe we paint a gold dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we have gold dust.

Sure, I have some. Gold dust? I gave it away, but then I think I got it back. We have PCP. You did get it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so let's paint one of the dicks with gold dust. I'll take care of that. Okay, okay, okay. And then we can figure out what the prize will be later.

Yeah, we'll figure it out. I mean, finding it is a prize. Of itself. Oh no, you're right. Do we want a literal gold dick? Shit. Like a dick made of gold? Yeah, I could transmute some of our coin to. I didn't want to waste our actual coin.

You're right, too much dicks. I have a hard time knowing when it's the right amount of dick humor and when it's over that. Better to have too much than ask for more. Yeah. Really, yeah. It's not a bad thing. I mean, if you want to transmute some gold into a dick, for me, I will keep that dick,

but I don't want to let somebody else have a golden dick. You know what I mean? We'll think about that. What if you transmute it into a gold dick and then you hide it and then I'll have to search for it, and then if I find it. You don't want to waste your time searching. We can just make you one some other time.

What are you, going to spend two days looking for this? You're supposed to be running a festival here. Don't get distracted. Caleb totally just blue screened. All right, we got a plan. Yeah. All right. So as you guys are hiding this caduceus using Find the Path, it takes you the better part of a day, but you manage to make your way

from the northern side of the village of O through this little valley area between two of the larger hills that leads to the base of the volcano, far from the entrances to it, but it does bring you to a bit of a rocky path that you see could be walked. It's still not safe.

There is no safe passage to the top of the volcano, but it is the best route to try and take 100 people or so. We'll be having precautions and. Tomorrow I'll do another round and. Clearing party. With some buddies in a clearing party and use some stone shape and just start to reinforce it. Okay.

Leave some colored stones. Okay, cool. Yeah. First day's work goes through well. Five more days till Traveler Con. As you guys bed down for the evening, set yourselves for a night's rest to prepare for the next coming day, we'll say, Caduceus, as your evening winds down

and you find a moment, just focus on your meditation, you're having a hard time focusing. Your mind pushes to the point of clarity and emptiness that you're used to reaching for, but at that familiar welcoming precipice, your thoughts wander back to the visions you saw in Vokodo's final moments. You live for the natural order of life. Not just your philosophy, not just your family's legacy, but what you believe to be the deepest purpose of your soul is tied to maintaining and helping

the natural order of the world continue and flourish. While many things can dampen or repose the Wild Mother's wishes, she understands that moral hubris is part of this balance, that where things are built and things then crumble. What you saw in these visions, though, it haunts you in these quiet moments. You, above all else, feel and understand things

with an instinctual insight few others can really achieve. What you saw was a perversion of all that you hold sacred. You struggle to make sense of the vision, of what you felt as it carved through your mind, but you are only left with a primal coldness and fear. You touch something truly alien and entirely removed from the cycle of nature,

both in Exandria and the natural order of the Cosmic Weave. You perhaps know more than any of your comrades the terror that drove a creature like Vokoda to desperation. And when you finally come to a point where you get yourself to the edge of meditative rest, the rest of your friends have gone to sleep, and you eventually feel you should follow suit. SAM and LAURA say a few words. The morning of day two comes to it. For the second day, preparation.

Five days to go, what would you guys like to do? Do we want to check in with our crew? Oh yeah. At some point this week. Just to see if they found the ships and how's it going? Sure, you want me to send a message? crew at some point this week. See what they're doing, yeah. They found the ships and how's it going? Sure, you want me to send a message? Can you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll send a message to Orly. Hey, Orly, did you find the ships? Did you figure out how to get it out? Are you guys still alive? Is Marius dead? Is Marius dead? Yeah. Okay, let me know. Are you guys still alive? Is Marius dead? Is Marius dead? Okay, let me know.

There was an uh in there that was a half-committal. That's fine. Orly responds really quickly. You bet we found him. And um. Marius, still alive, still pointless. Morley with the shade. So pithy. Ships, though, ain't too confident yet about exiting.

That's where it ends. Man, they haven't figured out how to get the ships out so they don't break up. They're smart, though. They've got, they'll just keep working on it. Yeah. All right. Any endeavors for the second day

you wish to charge through? I'd like to take a group and start clearing out the path and marking it as best I can. Okay, okay. Go ahead and make a survival check for me, if you don't mind. 10. 10, okay.

It takes the better part of the day and you do get a point of exhaustion, but you do, still using your Find the Path spell and now guiding a number of volunteers from the village of O, you do clear out a good section of the jungle heading towards the base of this volcano. The volcano ascension and clearing a path there

with more of the stone shape that you were referring to would probably take the better part of the next few days to do so. And especially with you leading it. If there's time, I'd like to take a moment at the top of the volcano, where I make it there. You can make it. Or the highest point that I get to on day two.

Day two, you only get partway up, maybe close to halfway, because you're slowly moving through with other people and shaping the path as you go. In order to get there, you probably have to have, because you're slowly moving through with other people and shaping the path as you go. In order to get there, you probably have to have somebody take you. I'll just go as far as I'm going to go, and I'm going to sit, and I'm going to use Commune.

Okay. All right. So as the rest of the troop leaves you to do your communion, not fully understanding, but gifting the privacy, they step and hike a little ways down and begin taking a rest themselves to snack on whatever provisions they brought with them.

As you quietly close your eyes and sit there on the edge of the mountain, the once dark smoke, now a light white and much less violent than it was when you arrived on the island is welcome. But you can still smell the faint elements of sulfurous scent that the wind catches to you. And as you take a deep breath

and inhale those effervescent vapors, and you exhale, you can feel the breath from your nose take color in your eyelids, in the dark space. And as that color begins to take shape around you, it becomes a faint, warm, light green. As it does, you can see leaves sprout and flowers sprout, and there, in the space of your mind, you begin to feel that warm breeze once more,

and her presence is there to answer you. I've had a terrible vision. Something beyond me. Do you know it? No. Can you sense it at all? Just like the slight cold change in wind that gave you a negative response initially, the wind blows back in the other direction also.

Cold. Is it coming for us? The wind stays stagnant, no temperature, warm or cold, just uncertain. Oh, beyond the gods. All right. Walk back down the hill. Okay. Walk back down the hill. Okay. Anybody else have business today? The Dicks are hidden. The arch is made.

Sure. The stage is built. Yeah. Bounty hunters? I'm thinking where the boats are going to dock down at the beach. Maybe at the entrance, when you first walk into the jungle, you can make all of a sudden, it look like the Traveler appears in front of them and beckons them with a finger. To let them know what path to take.

And passes underneath him or through him, or he just appears and then vanishes. He'll beckon and then as they get close, he'll go like he poofs away. And larger than life, yeah? Yeah, like super sparkly. Okay, okay. Maybe a little taller than normal,

just to make him seem bigger. Can you have two programmed illusions going? Yeah, they are indefinite. Wow, cool fucking heck. That's so cool. It's really cool. So I would have you show me where on the beach you want it precisely, so we take a walk to wherever that point is,

and I can just sort of scooch him around a little bit and grow him up or shrink him down and get the tone right. Yeah, he's looking quite lovely. Okay. Yeah. Whoa, he's a little full of presents. Can you make a little fairy me again and make me buzzing around him? Yeah, like Jiminy Cricket,

there is a little Jester fairy going. And then when he leaves, she's left and then vanishes. Like make her fly down the path, you know what I mean? Perfect, yeah. Yeah, like a GPS. Okay. All right, piece by piece, Caleb is helping Jester turn this into a Disney resort. Food, lodging, arts and crafts. Who's on what?

Come on, come on, help me out here. All right, I'm going to start building out the dance slash fight ring. Okay, cool. I'm going to start gathering some boulders to kind of building it out, making a fight ring. I want to make it one little dance circle and then another dance circle,

and then a longer dance circle attached to the two other ones. A Venn diagram dance party? Absolutely. Okay. Where the ones where they all meet are the craziest dancers? Yes. That's the Absolutely. Okay. Where the ones where they all meet are the craziest dancers? Yes. That's the march. Yeah.

I'm having visions of a boat and capoeira. All right. Yeah. I will take care of the arts and crafts area. So I'm going to make a nice circle and an archway into the circle made of flowers, and then also the circle, and then put all the wood in the middle for whittling the dicks.

Okay. That's great. Yeah, just really vibrant and beautiful. A number of villagers come and help you, both gather supplies and help in the whittling process, but they're all following your lead as you are the appointed arts and crafts leader of today. Great. Yeah. All right.

Also, you know what else we need to actually have? Our drums, so then once everybody makes their drumstick, then they have something to beat it on. We need to make some drums. All right, then. Anybody know how to make drums? Sure. You need skin.

I'll take care of that if if that's something you need. Sure. You see, Beric's actually the dwarf who you'd say in first boat, kind of goes, I can actually help make drums. They're rather rudimentary, but That's great. they've got some hides, I can do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's wonderful. All right, how many do you need? Well, it depends on the size. You know, multiple people can beat on one. Yeah, we could make a few big ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah's wonderful. All right, how many do you need? Well, it depends on the size. You know, multiple people can beat on one. Yeah, we could make a few big ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, we could probably do that and take a couple days. All right, I'll get some folks together.

All right. That's great. It's all coming together. All right. I'll check lodging. I'll see if there are any repairs that need to be done to any of the tree houses. Beautification of the- Yeah, cots. Yeah, yeah, make sure that... You know what I really like when I go stay at a place?

If they have just like a little kit of stuff, like an extra toothbrush in case you didn't bring one, or like some... Like a towel folded into a swan and maybe some like flower petals. I love that. I could help with bed flower arrangements. Okay.

Make that, that would look nice. Okay. It's beautiful. The second batch of Vo expats make their exit onwards this way to Marquet. To Marquet. You give out the coin, Patrícia. Yes, yes, yes. Imagine again, and this time as the doorway opens,

you can see what looks to see a cluster of tropical trees not far from what looks to be a somewhat green and lush hillside that leads to a smaller village with these tall, white, pearl-like towers and an exterior wall. It's beautiful. Some elements of it seem tropical, but there's no sign of an ocean or a coastline.

Unfamiliar with the location, but as people pass through, it closes and the second batch have left. Second day is complete. Anything else? We've got Dore, Shorhas, and Zadash. Correct. Is the Traveler popping in and out, or have I seen him at all?

Not in two days. Okay. Not yet. Okay. Unless there's anything else to be done, we come to the third day. All right. Third day comes, the third group gets ready to leave. This one is Tu Zadash,

and has probably the largest crew of people. Some that seem to have missed the first day and actually meant to go to Menagerie Coast and either overslept or just were still figuring out if they wanted to stay or go, and now decided to leave and are like, ah, it's close enough. And other folks who were either Empire or Empire adjacent,

just returning to what their life was previously, all gather up towards the tree. You divvy out the pouches, and as it opens up, you see a familiar sight. It's the edge of a tree line, and just out the pouches, and as it opens up, you see a familiar sight. It's the edge of a tree line, and just beyond the cluster of trees ahead, you can see the exterior perimeter walls of Zadash. This is probably from the north,

northern, northern western side, and so you just see the triangular-shaped city laid out and the various spires breaking up towards the distant skyline. We've snuck through that bit so many times. Have a good story, ready? Look for Dolan! All right, anything else in the third day to be done?

Okay. Oh boy. What are we missing off of our list? We might need some food, so we were thinking of hunting a T-Rex. So we could do that. That's right. Or if there's more fight pit stuff that you want to do. Talk to the locals about what actually is good to eat. Yeah, let's ask if we need to hunt anything. I'll go talk to Enola about the plan for food.

Okay. Enola's. Well, we had some decent stores before we lost everyone, so we have enough for us, but with everyone who's coming, hunting would be important. Fortunately, our lead hunters left a couple of days ago. So all we have at this point now are Pono and,

oh, I'm sorry, Ciaran and Ashlyn. Mm-hmm. Oh, the bear people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ciaran is Pono, or was Pono. Correct. Ciaran is very dry. So we'll ask them if, I'll go talk to them, or rustle them up, I suppose. All right, so you're assembling a hunting party.

That's right. All right, who's joining the hunting party? Oh, hell. Literally everyone. Okay. Take a day. Okay, good. All right. We'll take a trip, try to hunt something big. Okay. Sure. Well, as you guys gather your supplies,

we're going to go ahead and take a break. Bah bah, bah bah. What a bah bah. We all die before. Like, one day when we're Traveler Con, we get excited about hunting down a dragon. That's a noble cause, you guys. Nothing more Traveler Con than being eaten by a T-Rex. That's a noble cause, you guys. Nothing more Traveler Con than being eaten by a T-Rex.

You're not wrong. All right, we'll be back here shortly. We're going to take a little break, and then we'll jump into the next few elements, preparation for Traveler Con, possibly hunting a T-Rex, it looks like, and see what else happens. Yes!

We'll see you guys here shortly. Hello, Critters. This is Ashley Johnson, president of the Critical Role Foundation, our 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission that might sound familiar. To leave the world better than we found it. We partner with other nonprofits to raise funds supporting causes that mean a lot to us. And we allocate 10% of all donations to an emergency relief fund that allows us to provide immediate assistance in the case of natural disasters or other unexpected emergencies that require quick action. To learn more about the Critical Role Foundation and to donate,

visit criticalrolefoundation.org. And welcome back. So, four days until Traveler Con, you guys have amassed yourselves as the hunting crew. Yes. Oh shit. How did I forget that's what we were doing? We're talking about cereal.

LAURA and SAM and SAM and LAURA and SAM. With you guys being the hunting crew, we'll say that Kira and Ashlyn decide to stay back and help on other elements. Okay. So we don't have to also control two NPCs in this. Seven people on this hunting crew is enough. They both go like, oh, oh, you've got this.

Oh, it's fine. Yes, but we can't turn into bears, so. Takes a lot of energy. Got a lot to build here in Vex, you understand. Yep, oh, oh, you've got this. Oh, it's fine. Yes, but we can't turn into bears, so. Takes a lot of energy. Got a lot to build here and fix, you understand. Yep, so, yep, sure. Enjoy. That gazebo better be done by the time we get back. All right, so who is helming the hunt?

Who is actively stalking a Tyrannosaurus? Who's good at survival? Yeah. Oh no. Yeah, mine is a billion. Plus five? Yours? Five? Plus five survival.

Really? Well, it's your convention. Yeah, come on. Let's find this T-Rex. Are we going to find a T-Rex? Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, a T-Rex. Yes, a T-Rex? Okay.

Yes, a T-Rex. Yes, a T-Rex? Okay. Yes, a T-Rex. Yes, a T-Rex. Yes! Nothing else will do but a T-Rex. Yeah! We knew this the moment we let it go! The moment we laid eyes on him, we were like, that's going to be a tasty treat. We did want to kill him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Travelocon.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine, fine, fine. Where's the T-Rex? Yeah, that's true, that's true. All right, so who's helping this? So are you doing this alone? Caleb, do you want to help, Jester, because you remembered exactly where we are in the forest? Well, I know where we saw that T-Rex

several days ago. Yeah, let's go back to where we saw the T-Rex. Yeah, I will assist. And then we'll look for tracks or something. Okay. So along the way, go ahead and roll a survival check for me. And if you're helping, then you have advantage on this. Somewhere around here, Jester.

18. 18, okay. You take. Oh, I should have guided myself. Too late. Pushing forward into the first few hours of your journey, you trek through familiar territory of the jungle, making your way towards the region where the vegetation begins to wither and gray,

the space where you encountered your first undead-type creature, skirting around it to avoid the majority of the pitfalls that seem to plague Caduceus your first time through. For sure, it's not happening again. You feel like you may have found some tracks earlier than you anticipated. And so you begin to follow them a little bit

to a northward direction, diverging from the path you guys first walked to the volcano. Go ahead and roll again for me to see if you can maintain the track. Guidance. So you found a set of tracks. Nice. Large, heavy divots in the thick, moist mud and underbrush. Three-pronged.

16. 16, okay. You maintain tracking this space. It weaves a bit, and you do eventually come upon what looks to be something in the way. You see a large shape, and as you begin to move around to get a look, you see bone protrusions.

As you get a closer look, you can see what looks to be the better part of a mostly eaten carcass, some sort of a heavy-furred beast, what looks to be some sort of a, what could have been an ape of some kind, like a larger primate-type creature, but it is mostly just thick, blood-soaked fur patches

and exposed bone that is broken, splintered, and flesh just torn off in strips, mostly devoured. The innards of the main chest cavity is just empty. But the tracks continue southward. Go ahead and make another survival check for me. Oh shit. With advantage or anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because Caleb's helping me, right?

Mm-hmm. Right? Is it still at advantage? Okay. Ooh. Ooh! 21. Ooh! 21. Did you roll twice? I have advantage. She's got a weird double dice.

Okay. You notice, where that corpse is, there are actually two sets of prints that diverge. One that continues in a north-northeastern direction, and one that's the southern path that you began to follow. Of the two sets, you begin to notice there might have been a pair that were hunting, or they came at different times,

and one scavenged, the others kill. You're uncertain. They seem to be similar, but the southern prints are heavier. They sink deeper into the mud and seem to be slightly larger than the other set. Do you want to go after? Probably more meat on the bones.

That's true. If it's a heavier footfall, more meat. Big one or little one? What do you think, guys? I mean, go big or go home, right? Maybe the bigger one is more clumsy, easier to take down in your fight. This is for the Traveler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is all is, it serves a really good purpose, what we're doing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe we kill the big one and you make the smaller one your mount and we can offer T-Rex rides. I mean, that could be really cool.

We might be getting a little ahead of ourselves. Okay. I like that idea. Am I Caleb and the Dicks? Too many dicks? Yeah, you Caleb the Dick, I'm telling you. Caleb the Dick. And it was really loud last time, too, right? We should be hearing something. Yeah, we should maybe be a little stealthy.

It was taking down trees. How fresh do these tracks look? Like, I would know. With that roll of a survival check, you go ahead and get down, and an unexpected series of maneuvers from Jester, she puts her fingers in the muck, tastes the moisture level,

glances around and inspects some of the nearby splintered portions of various trees and trunks that seem to have been brushed against as this creature barreled its way through the jungle here at Rumblecusp. Maybe an hour. Ooh.

Hour and a half. Ooh. Why did you eat the mud, though? I don't know, I just thought I heard of people doing that when they were tracking me. It makes you look super cool. Did it look like I knew what I was doing? It 100% did. What does it taste like?

Like, you know, have you ever eaten dirt? Not on the reg. Yeah. It tastes like that. Okay. However, because of the state that the corpse is in, the kill is not as fresh as the tracks, which leads you to believe the larger one may have been scavenging an earlier kill

from another similar creature. So he's lazy. This is good. He's a lazy T-Rex. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe he's too big to fight. Maybe he's big and he's old and some of his teeth have fallen out or something, and so he has to like.

Senile! We're assigning all the shitty attributes to the old T-Rex that isn't going to taste very good. He has to like, Senile! Senile! We're assigning all the shitty attributes. There's an old T-Rex that isn't going to taste very good. Gamey. Gamey. Very gamey. I'm going to, I'm going to put my hand on the nearest tree.

Okay. I'm going to talk to some plants. All right, talk to some plants, Jester. Hey, tree! Yeah? You seen a T-Rex? You seen a big lizard T-Rexy thing come through here? Yeah, it comes through every now and then.

It's real scary. Like, how big, like, are they big? Is it bigger than, like, you are? Taller than you? It's hard to really compare mass when you're a tree versus a creature. Yeah. Like, I'm definitely taller, but it's a little wider.

And you know, it moves around. I'm kind of here, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love this tree. Have you ever seen it? Does it seem like it's injured at all? Is it old? Does it look like it has its teeth? I didn't get a good look at it,

because it was scary. Yeah. But I mean, it was covered in blood. It might've been hurt. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a possibility. Do you know which direction it went? I think it went south.

South. Got it. Thank you very much, tree. No worries. Man, that's a lot of fun. That's a lot of fun. We should really find out about those trees that are withering.

We said we were going to help them. We did say that. We say a lot of things. Every tree has a story. Didn't going to help them. We did say that. We say a lot of things. Every tree has a story. Didn't we essentially help them because we made these things go away? No? Sure. We helped them.

I might change it for relief. We sure did. We'll double check. We'll double check. Maybe those trees also lost their tree memories and now they're thinking about trees that they fucked 25 years ago. Remember their own tree crisis, you know. Memories of acorns popping out of trees.

What? I'm not an oak. I'm a birch, I've been living alive for 25 years! These willows weren't weeping before. Oh no. So are you going after the larger southern tracks? I suppose so. Make a confident decision. That seems like what all you guys wanted to do, right?

The bigger ones? Confident decision! Anything you want, Chester. Tell us who leader Chester. Don't put this on me if we all die. Just Chief Jester Esquire. Keep it rolling. To me, I feel like a... Keep them coming. T-Rex is a T-Rex.

Why don't we take the smaller one? Good. The older one is bigger. The bigger one is feeble, so maybe we should do the bigger one. We don't know that at all. We were really just saying that to make ourselves feel better.

Just to be clear. You are one of the two greatest detectives I've ever met. If you think that the bigger one is feeble, I'm with you 100%. You have a sleuthy intuition. Yeah. Oh, shit. I mean, it would be

like T-Rexes to try and trick us, you know? Maybe it's like a maze. What T-Rexes have you met to draw this sort of solution? Just like an asshole T-Rex. Just like one. Let's do it, let's go after the big one. I don't know. Okay. Okay. Your call. So you continue to track the larger set of tracks.

I'm going to hand Jester my, I think I have a magnifying glass. Okay. Just to help in the Thank you. Look for those. We should all be pretty stealthy, though, because, you know. Okay, you're beginning to stealth? Yeah. Thank you. Look for those. We should all be pretty stealthy, though, because, you know. Okay, you're beginning to stealth?

Yeah. All right. I'd like everybody to go ahead and roll a stealth check, please. A communal party stealth. Guidance. Yasha, I'm going to Blessing. Okay. Blessing of the Trickster. Natural 20. Natural 20! Nice! Yeah!

Hey! 20 total. Wait, what was it? 29. All right, 20 Hey! 20 total. Wait, what was it? 29. All right, 20 total. 20 total. 19. 17. You get advantage. I get advantage? Yeah. Jester. 16.

Yeah, 20 total. That's pretty solid. You guys follow these tracks, keeping behind Jester for the better part of the next 30 or so minutes. Jester, you follow the heavy footfalls, the smashed fallen log that appears to have been stepped on, fell through from the weight of the beast.

Eventually, you come upon what looks to be a couple of other tattered corpses of these large, almost crane-like birds that are just crushed and thrown. One has been pressed into a tree with such force, like it was jammed into that it's been just smeared birds that are crushed and thrown. One has been pressed into a tree with such force, like it was jammed into that it's been smeared and it's now stuck partially against the bark of this tree.

You can see its neck is hanging limply, as it's slowly just dripping. You also hear this sound. SAM and LAURA, inaudible Sleepy. It needs to nap because it's so old. Yeah. What is it? Where is it?

Can we see where the sound is coming from? As you begin to make your way over this slight hill, you come to this divot in the jungle floor, and there you see, curled up in this muddier pit, a fully albino Tyrannosaurus rex that is older and more massive than the one that you had encountered previously coming to the jungle.

As it's lying there, you can see across its gray, white scaled palette of skin, there are smatterings of dried blood of multiple shades of red from multiple creatures that it came across as it was tearing through the jungle. You can see why it was important for Avelia to keep watch on this village. Good luck for the rest of the folks here if she leaves.

Maybe hunting this T-Rex was a very good idea. If you survive. But there it is now, snoring heavily, post-meal, in the middle of the jungle. What do you do? We can surprise attack it. Everybody hit it. I should go ahead and set the scene, if you don't mind. Oh!

You had something have been prepared? Of course he did. This impromptu combat that somehow Matt was prepared for is sponsored by Dwarven Forge, the journey out into the Wildlands. Dwarven Forge's eighth terrain Kickstarter is live. Check it out at dwarvenforge.com slash wildlands. Matt, what? How?

Because I break. No way. You prep this at break? I build maps during break all the time. But we didn't see you do it. He always has like six maps at any point in time. Wow! Oh my god. It just occurred to me.

Because I wasn't expecting you guys to go battle a T-Rex, I don't have an albino T-Rex miniature at the ready. But we'll just say that this is the general size of it there. I mean, look at that cute boy. What do you mean you don't have a T-Rex prepared? An albino T-Rex. An albino T-Rex. Under the light? Under the light, it does. Under the light, it kind of looks like a blue.

Well, good, look at that. Thank you, thank you, our wonderful, currently- By the light of Overeemove. What's that? Currently prone. Currently prone, yes. How far from the albino are we at the moment? There you go. Get this back.

All right, so you guys are right among this tree line here. Where would you like to arrange? Like to head north? But we need to, like, I don't want to accidentally wake it up with our movements. Should we all just spread out a little bit and then hit it all at once? Yeah.

Like a semicircle type of thing. Okay. I feel bad because he's sleeping. I do, too, but he'll attack the village if we don't kill it. Okay, okay. It's a mercy killing, really. Because he's so old.

Yes. I'll go, if we're starting here, right? I'll flank around this way. Okay. I'm going to cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us to keep us as quiet as possible as we do this. Okay, so I'd like you all to re-roll a stealth check with Pass Without a Trace. Oh, like re-roll it all?

Yep. Would we have to re-roll it if I hadn't cast Pass Without a Trace. Oh, like re-roll it all? Yep. Would we have to re-roll it if I hadn't Cast Pass Without a Trace? As you guys are now approaching and spreading out, in preparation for this, there would be an additional stealth check, but you are helping.

26. Oh wait, no, it's not an advantage. Add 10. Uh-oh. Nothing to see here? Jesus Christ. Natural one. What's the total? 10.

Oh, that's 12 plus, 12 plus four is 16. Hey, that's pretty good. All right. 28. 34. 25. 29. 35. Wow.

Whoa. You beat Veth at a stealth check. That's pretty impressive. Wow, that's really impressive. Because rogues are broken. In some ways, yeah. All right, so.

What you notice, Caduceus, as well as Beauregard and Caleb, is amongst the carrion smatterings in the space, there are some very small birds that are eating from these corpses. And you begin to wonder if there is some sort of a symbiotic relationship between them.

These small little creatures suddenly begin to and look around as you guys begin to shift, but. Those fucking birds are going to blow our cover. But do not seem to notice or hear your passage. Wow, because everybody else rolled so high? Because everyone else rolled super high. Wow. Are they how big are these birds? I'm going to say that I just stayed right where it was.

They're like the hand size. Yeah, they're small, but you can see them. They're all scattered around. They all themselves have blood smattering on their beaks, and they're all very nervous and keeping an eye out. So you bypass them, luckily. All right, so Fjord has set himself up there. Where is everybody else?

Can I make my way and flank across from Fjord, almost? Like over here? Yeah, yeah, on the other side of the tree. Over here? This one's tough because there's a tree right in my way there-ish. Oh, over here, I got you. Yes, thank you.

Ben, don't you have rogue insta-kill abilities? I do. You do? Yes, I can insta-kill any animal. That's amazing. I just haven't been using it. Keep them. All right. I think claws are technically weapons, right?

It's a broken rogue. Yes. Who else is where? Facing Claws are technically weapons, right? It's a broken rogue. Yes. Yeah. Who else is where? I'll climb a tree, possibly, somewhere. Pick a tree, any tree. Like up here? Sure. Okay.

Put Veth. I would like some sort of log cover about 40 feet away. Make an athletics check for me. Oh, good call. Yep. What'd you roll? Oh, you want to know the number? Yeah, I already threw some.

It was a seven. All right, so where are the rest of you? Okay. I'm going to go somewhere around there. I have Spider Climbing, too. Maybe around... So you have time climbing, too. Maybe around. So you have time to run in. Around this side? Yeah, maybe a little bit closer. I can't really see.

Right there? A little closer to Fjord, maybe. To Fjord? So like over here? Yeah. Okay, Caleb? Would I be able to, while we're sneaking about, take out Obsidian and cast Resonant Echo and split? Sure. I love that cricket.

Oh yeah, we have a studio cricket. Oh, I thought that was Matt's music. Oh, I thought it was the soundtrack, no. I did, too. No, no, that is not the soundtrack. Oh, do we have a studio cricket? Yeah, you can't hear it? No, I can.

Same thing, I thought it was in the soundtrack. We do. I think in moving the set pieces over here, I cannot find my Resonant Echo mini. He's like, you guys it was in the soundtrack. We do. I think in moving the set pieces over here, I cannot find my resident echo mini. He's like, you guys are so dumb right now. My resident echo mini. Like an invisible person? I should have bought the tiny one.

I have a little black and sparkle painted Caleb mini, but I don't know where it is. That's okay, I will instead, I'll use... I can't see where I am on here. I'll use this guy as your resident echo. How about that? I have a thought about that. Okay, and Resident Echo, Caleb, will go directly on the other side

of the big white dinosaur. Moby Dick? Right, and where are you standing? Moby Penis? I could stay, that Caleb could stay put. Right there? Yep. And then just send Resident Echo directly on the other side. Okay, cool. So it starts making its way over there.

Caduceus. Somewhere with a little cover, a little distant from everyone, about 40 feet away. 40 feet away from? From the T-Rex. Like behind that stump right there, yeah. Over here? Is that about 40 feet? That would be about 40 feet from us.

Yeah, so behind that. Okay, you're about there right now. Jester? Woo! Yeah. I'm going to be, I need to be within 60 feet. That's a pretty decent range, so where would you like to be? So I'll go on the big tree with the mushrooms

on the other side of it than Caleb. The one that Caleb is next to? Oh, right here? Yeah. It's like over there? Yeah, to where I have an actual view of him. Yeah, that's good. What are you, are you doing the ray, or are you doing? Okay.

Am I within 50 feet of it, Matt? You are within ray. So you guys fan out and start spreading. You cast Resonant Echo, and the echo begins to run over there, Caduceus, you're making your way to the other side as you all are very carefully making your way through. You hear

Ah! As Veth, partway up the tree, through, you hear as Veth, partway up the tree, grabs a branch that snaps and plummets about 20 feet to the ground. I attack. Yeah, just make a big attack. Taking four points of bludgeoning damage as you hit the ground. The birds

and go. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! And as they do, so you guys do still get a surprise round, except for Veth. Oh man. Ah, ah! I do still need you all to roll initiative, however.

Let's roll initiative! Give me that death music! Yeah, give us that music, man. How about that D? All right. Wow. All righty. Give me that death music! Yeah, give us that music, man. All right. Wow. All righty. This is Traveler Con. Yeah.

This is Traveler Con. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get Seacrest in here to launch it. All righty. So, 25 to 20. Cool. Yikes. 20 to 15. Yikes. Sorry, 19.

18. 16. 19 for me. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 19 for you? Wait, 19, 19, 18? Yep, so Beau, Yasha, Caduceus, Caleb. And Jester at the same time.

And I'm also 16. Oh, wow. I'm 16 as well. And it's by dex, so you'll probably go first. Sure. Oh yeah. Okay. I'm on my ass, though. What's your dex? All right, so 15 to 10? Oh, I rolled a nine, I'm the only one left.

All right, so it's Beau and Yasha at the same time. Caduceus, then Caleb, then what'd you get? Caleb, Jester, and Veth all got 16. So probably Veth, Jester, Caleb, if you go back. Yeah, probably. Sure, yeah. Veth, Jester, Caleb. Veth, Jester, Levy. Fjordi.

All right. Cool. So, immediately, the beast's eyes shoot wide open. You can see there's this faint pinkish white tint to the eye, and then right around the exterior of the slanted pupil, there is a deep green coloration. It has this odd, almost bruised transition on the inside. As it shoots open, the nostrils

one leg rights itself and begins to lift up off the ground as Beau and Yasha, what are you guys doing? Go for it. Where are you? Where are you on the map? Yasha's right there. Oh, we're opposites. So I make eye contact with Yasha across from him

as we both just charge forward. All right, so you rush in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Terminator run. Welcome up to 1,000. All righty. Is it too late to say I invoked duplicity before we started all this?

Yes. Go, go, go, go, go. So, go for it. As I'm running, I reach and I pull out my new staff, the Belaber, do a little Jedi spin around as I run, and then big old jump and slap, pop, pop. Go for it. Right on its face.

Because it's a surprise round, do we get any kind of advantage or anything? It's still, no. No, okay. It's still on the ground, so if some attacks get... It is technically no longer prone because the lack of... Stealth? The breaking of stealth. But you guys are getting a surprise round on it,

which means you get one round to go before it gets to go. That's cool. So you still get a major benefit. Yeah. 24 and 16. Both hit. You get one round to go before it gets to go. Great. That's cool. So you still get a major benefit. Yeah. 24 and 16. Both hit. And that is... The first one is nine damage, not great. All right.

Second one is Stunning Strike. How much damage, though? Nine damage on the first one. For both of them total, nine damage and then 14 damage. All right, so. And then Stunning Strike. Stunning Strike. That is an 18. Yeah.

This is a pretty beefy creature. Its constitution's pretty hardy. Doesn't mean it doesn't work, but it resists the first Stunning Strike. That's good to know. So first two strikes. Which also means you do extract aspects. Well, I didn't do Flurry of Blows. Right, I mean.

But I am now going to do Flurry of Blows. Okay, go for it. Two more strikes. Yep, that is 27 and 24. Both hit. Go ahead and roll damage on that. Yasha, you're on deck. Okay.

10 damage and 14 damage. Nice. And now extract Aspects. Okay. This Tyrannosaurus is old, venerable, but not to the point where it's... He's fucking old! He is fucking old! But not to the point where it's... He's fucking old! He is fucking old!

But not to the point where it's affecting its strength. If anything, its mass is quite intense and it's quite angry, but there are... He's one of those super beefy old guys that has a Bowflex and is like, holy shit, you're in your 70s? Fuck, dude. He's one of those guys. Old man Tyrannosaurus. He used to be an enemy seal. Yeah. Yeah. He's a, holy shit, you're in your 70s? Fuck, dude, he's one of those guys. Old man T-Rex. He used to be an enemy SEAL.

Yeah. Yeah. But no resistances and no vulnerabilities. Okay, I communicate that with what I just said. Is that your turn? Yes. All right, Yasha, what are you doing? Okay, as I'm running towards this big T-Rex, I'm going into a rage. Yes!

We'll say that it's up now since you guys lost the on this prize. And let's go here. Oops. Oh yeah! Okay, that would be 23 for the first hit. So let's, man, I haven't done this in a while because I've been rolling so shitty. I know.

Levels are great, so I'm going to do... Savage Attacker? Yeah, Savage Attacker so far. That's exactly the same. Warm it up. Okay. 16 for the first hit. 16 for the first hit. 16 for the first hit. Second attack.

19. That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Okay. Just these little tinies. Ooh! 15 for the second hit. 15, you got it. Okay, that finishes your go. Next up is Caduceus with Veth on deck.

Ray of Enfeeblement. Ooh. All righty, what's it have to roll for that? I have to roll, it's a spell attack. Oh, it's a spell attack? Go for it. That's a 28. Yeah, that'll hit. So yeah, half damage.

Half damage for now. For strength-based attacks, right? Yeah, for strength-based attacks. You got it. I don't know. And now I'm going to take cover. Great call. I'm going to take some cover. Okay.

He does half damage on strength-based pick? Yeah. Oh, that's dope. Oh, all right. And you're running this way for cover? Yeah, behind a tree. Behind a, yeah. This is the closest tree, if I'm right. Reach about there.

All right. You're at minute 30. You're running that way, and you're like, nope, this way. Wraith, you have my out of your hand. Strikes it, you watch the creature as it gets up. And you watch as its jaw muscles temporarily kind of wither and darken in the moment as the magic swirls around

and grasps the side of its throat. You see one of his legs buckles momentarily and it's physically now enfeebled by the magic you've cast. That finishes your go, Caduceus? Yep. Veth, you're up with Jester on deck. All right, I will, ah, I will stand up. Yeah, all right, so it's half your movement.

Sorry! And I will, as a bonus action, cast Brenatto's Voltaic Bolt. Yeah. Activate a bolt, and then I will fire said bolt at the creature using Sharpshooter. Okay. Minus five, right?

18 to hit. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. And it's in game? Indeed it is, so you do get sneak attack damage. Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm going to re-roll both of those. Okay, lots of threes. 20 plus 10, because I sharpshooted, so that's 30, plus the voltaic bolt

is another nine, 39, plus one more thing. Jeez, please. 45. Yes. 45, nice. Dang. All right, so as you get back up, you aim your crossbow and fire

right as its leg bends from the Enfeeblement spell, and it buckles for a moment. As it does, its head flops downward, exposing it under the neck, and the bolt immediately and you see blood begin to pour out of the mouth. It was a nice, solid hit to a very sensitive part of its throat. Yes. That finish your turn?

Call me Ishmael. All right. You have 15 more feet of movement, if you'd like to. I will... Nah, I'm good. Okay, finishing that turn, that brings us to Jester. Caleb, you're on deck.

Okay, how tall is the creature? The creature is roughly 20 feet tall. Okay. At its highest point. Okay. At its highest point. Okay. I have a question about a blade barrier. Okay. What would I know? It's a wall that you create.

Can I create it at any height? Can it be off of the ground? Or does it have to be touching the ground? Blade barrier? Let me double check here. Wow. Make a good campaign if I remember. You're fighting a T-Rex and it has an electric guitar.

Yeah. Find it where it shades on, and it will look up here. Keytar. Part of me is like, go look it up on TV Beyond. Or T-Rex Band. Yeah, it's usually keytar. Yeah. I don't think you can get...

It's a little keytar. Hands have to be real small. Real small. Within range, you can make a straight wall up to 100 feet long. It is a wall of whirling blades, I could say. Since it is whirling blades, I'll allow it to be at any height.

To be at any height, yeah, sure. Okay, cool, then I'm going to make it 15 feet off the ground so it doesn't hit any of us. And I'm going to make it circle around the dinosaur. This is so Jurassic Park. I love it. I can't get through the electric fence. It can be 60 feet in diameter.

So I'll probably make it 40 feet in diameter. Right, so I'll probably make it, you know, 40 feet in diameter. Right, so the... I would like it to... It's still a ringed wall? Yeah. Maybe, yeah. So you're just lifting it up in the air? Yeah, lifting it up in the air,

but I'm going to make it to where it's like a ring that's kind of touching him right now so that when he starts it, it's going to hit him. So it's a little larger than this, but I'm setting this here as an example. So we kind of know where it is. It's actually bigger than this. So it's larger. Is it okay?

It's only four, I said only 40 feet instead of 60 feet, so. That's fine. Okay. 40 feet in diameter actually would be that. It's 60 feet in diameter, technically. But if you want to make it smaller, you can. You can make it smaller if you want, yeah. Okay, cool. So at the start of its turn.

Or yeah, when it enters there for the first time. Got it, so we'll get that one, and move around to it. Apologies, that's where the ring is on the front half of? Correct, up in the air. You watch as Jester takes one hand and swirls it up, holding whatever your holy symbol is. Currently, if you're not holding a dick

or you're holding your classic Jester one. It's my Traveler symbol. Okay, so you put the Traveler symbol there. As you do, you watch up in the air, the faint bit of moisture coalesces into these small wind blades. You watch as this large, semi-ethereal, thickened mass of magical blades,

just like this horrible, crushing, winding, arcane trap you would imagine to see of hundreds and hundreds of these tiny spinning blades just slightly rotating in the air above this creature, and you watch as they begin to carve into the side of it as it's starting to stand up and get ready for its round and cutting into its body. Do you want to move or stay put?

I'll move behind the trunk right there. We're preserving this very well. Okay. You've got it. Speaking of. The old hunter. After we kill it, how do we get it back? We don't know yet, we'll figure it out.

We'll worry about it. Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. We'll figure it out. Before we start it, I was like. Caleb, your turn. Fjord, you're up on deck. Okay, so it's my Echo and me. So the Echo first will silently pull his hands apart

and a fireball starts to form in the Echo's hands and he hucks it into the air, 30 feet into the air so that its 20-foot diameter hits just the top of our dinosaur friend and nobody else. This is a ball of fire. Explodes. Fireball. Top dexterity check. There is no T-Rex left. Nope. That is a ball of fire. Explodes. Fireball. Top dexterity check.

No T-Rex left. Nope. That is a fail on its dex save. It's our part for the dinosaur. Yeah. We brought you a backbone. And some feet. And some bone marrow.

And 34. Okay, the risen echo vanishes. Yeah. The spell expended. To Looney Tunes cartoon, just whatever was left. And then Caleb turns into a T-Rex. A Bengal cat mottled T-Rex. Oh, he's so cute. I will have a T-Rex additionally to add to the board,

so you're just going to get a shitty alligator. I love it. Oh, man. I love it. Oh, man. I love it so much. There you go. You're a Bengal cat T-Rex alligator.

Fuck. But indeed, you have seen a T-Rex so you can transform into one. He has some movement, right? Yes. Yeah, so I will run

towards the ass of our opponent. At a speed of 50 feet so you can definitely Anything that enters the blade is very open. And the blades are on the front, that's why I asked.

It's in the front half of our friend. So you've not quite reached the edge of the blade barrier as the blades are now this loud, high-pitched, screeching, grinding sound of thousands of arcane blades colliding with each other. You watch as this giant Bengal tiger, like pattern T-Rex comes up to the other T-Rex,

who at this point is reeling from the blades, his head spins around and goes towards the now arriving, unexpected creature. All right, that finishes your turn, Caleb. All right, hold on. turn, Caleb. All right. Fjord, you're up. I stab him in the sword and prepare to charge in before a fucking Bengal tiger-shaped D-Wrek

runs into the frame like, nah, I'm good. Way back here. I'll stay out! The first one is a 23 to hit. That hits. There's three of these, I've learned, thank you. That's a 19 to hit. That hits.

And that's cart. And 18 to hit. Three hit. All right. Just walking up to the girl at the high school dance, like, ah, no. Yeah. As the quarterback comes up and kisses her. 30.

Yeah. I was just getting pumped. Whoops. Here. 32 points of force damage. Nice. Back to the sandwich. I should have done this first, but I will use my bonus action to,

no, I don't need to do Hexblades, because there's a fucking T-Rex in there, we're okay. You're going to move or stay put? I'm going to actually step back 10 feet. Like. Perfect. All right. Finishing your go, back at the top of the round, Beauregard, you're up.

Oh shit. Oh, it's me. This creature is looking hurt. Poor guy. Okay, okay. I know, I feel bad for him. Me, too, he was sleepy. He was a sleepy boy.

He was asleep. Covered in the blood of the creature. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm keeping him warm. I'm right by his meaty legs, so I'm going to go for the Achilles tendon. Oh, fuck. Whack, whack, right to the back of his leg. Why?

Pop, pop. Why? I've done nothing wrong. I'm so old. 27 and 30 to hit. They hit. Okay. Oh wait, those are right.

Those are right. Oh wait. Oh yeah, staffs are dee- No, okay, I am doing this right, I am doing this right. Okay. Sorry, new staff. New toys. Okay. Oh, these are both the same, which is 14, 14 and 14.

14 damage and 14 damage? Yeah. You got it.? Yeah. You got it. So 28. You got it. You guys are rolling pretty damn good on this. All right. And... That's why I went into a creative field. I will Flurry of Blows.

Go for it, two more strikes. Shk-pah, shk-pah. Oof, oof, oh, one might not hit. 22 for one, and that's a three for 15. 15 still hits. Okay. It's a big guy. It's got a thicker hide, but not terribly.

Okay, so that's 12 and 13. Okay. Okay, so that's 12 and 13. Okay. Just then, three baby T-Rexes come back. Dad! From a slumber party. Run, kids! This island is terrible! But then we'd get T-Rex mounts. All right, so that finishes your turn.

Are you going to stay put or are you going to move? I'm going to stay here. Okay. Yasha. Okay. Actually, what is your dexterity? My dexterity is 15. You, yes, you go. Okay, okay.

You guys are actually on the same initiative as the T-rex. Oh, wow, okay. That hits, that is a 23. That hits. Okay, so. Decepticons. Digga digga digga digga digga digga digga digga. Okay. 20 for the first hit. Nice. I think I that good. Okay. 20 for the first hit.

Nice. I think I need glasses. Second hit. What's the bottom say? It says, we'd love to fly, and it bows. 15? 15 hits? 15 hits. Okay. Second attack. Oh!

Up-loss. 15. 15 damage? 15 damage. Uh... A plus. 15. 15 damage? 15 damage. Great. So after your bow pummels the bottom side of its ankle, uh, with the staff, and then a couple of kicks and a punch to the side, looking underneath the leg across

and making eye contact with you, you come up with two heavy swings. Whoosh, whoosh, and as you cut, you can see the blood spray against the rock and nearby vegetation. That's right. Both of its legs are like. Now it's its turn, angrily. After you do the hits, Beauregard, you look up

and you see its head burst. It takes, is it 6d10? Yes, 6d10 damage. 6d10? Yes, 6d10 damage. 6d10? Yeah, so go ahead and roll that. 30 damage-ish. It looks at me and dies. That's what happens.

Maybe it's a T-Rex mage. Maybe we're up for something bad. Shh! Meteor storm! 30 point average right there, so. Whew! Holy shit. Burning hands.

Only really reaches one of you. 34 points of flashing. Slashing damage, nice. So it's like grinding up into it. It pulls back a bit and looks down towards its ankle where it's been taking the impacts in Beau as you look up, you see its head as its head lunges down towards you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's going to be great. What, say it. Is it bad? It's a natural 20. Yay! Am I within 30 feet of Beau? Yes, you are.

Cancel. Oh. Oh. I kind of want to just die. What if it did something cool? All it would've done was made it do its regular damage because of the raven feeblement, but now it does half damage.

He's got that raven feeblement. Well played. I was so excited, I actually rolled a 20. No, don't be, it's fine, it's fine. You're playing your character well. That was a sarcastic aww, that's all good. I know, I figured. I can be proud and hurt at the same time.

Well, nevertheless, it does. So as it bears down on you, you try and duck out of the way, and as its jaws close around you, you feel this strange moment as the vegetation around you tugs you slightly out of the way, and you only get a mild series of crushing tooth abrasions to your body. Yeah. Okay.

Like a massage. It equates to. Yeah, yeah. Ooh, it tingles. I got to get my toms here. Buck him up. I wonder what the critical. Come on, T-Rex. Get in a good shot. We'll find out, because it's going to be.

I need a dope scar. It's going to be double this and then double again would have been the critical. Yeah. We all need to take a tooth for a necklace. Yeah. Oh, matching that. Ooh. You take 34 points of piercing damage.

That's halved? Yes. Yikes. Wait, 34. Wait, with the re-event. With 68, it would have been 100 and something damage? Is it re-event? Yeah. It would have brought you to zero immediately with that crit if that hadn't gotten there with the cancel. Oh my goodness. Thank your clerics.

Oh, we were fucking around. What did you say, 38? 34. 34. Born to piercing damage. So with no enfeeblement and no cancel, it would have been 136? Yeah, is it double double? Is it minus minus? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or is it just one half? It would have been doubled, and instead we brought it to single, and it's half because of the ray of enfeeblement. Wow! Nice. Okay. Wow! Okay. Respect.

Yeah, I only ask because I'm looking at T-rex stats. Oh, this is not a normal T-rex. Right, oh, okay. It's an indoor T-rex. Well, if I bite and it's a small, that enemy is grappled. Yes, which I was about to get to. You are grappled and restrained

because you took the damage and it still has you in its mouth. And you're like full on, like, we're talking off the toilet in Jurassic Park. You are just being crunched and lifted in the air. You guys watch as Beau's legs are just flailing about. She's just this muffled scream from the inside.

Whoa! Whoa! I just say, Yasha, Yasha, are you watching? Vufu, vufu, vufu, vufu. Clever girl. And as it swings around with Beau in its mouth, its tail swings back towards you, Yasha. Okay. Yep.

Oh, fuck. That is going to be a 22 to hit. Mm-hmm. So you see this happening, and all of a sudden, you look to the side and it's you just get broadsided by its tail. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Half damage. No skipping. Holy shit. So it's 33 points of bludgeoning damage, reduced by half because of that, so that only brings it to a 16. Reduced by half because of your rage, brings it to eight.

You take eight points of bludgeoning damage. Oh my god, wow. Fucking barbarian, man. Okay. This is the coolest fight. So it hits you, and you actually duck down a bit, and your shoulder and back essentially kind of helps it glide off you. Your hair kind of gets pushed to the side from the blow of the impact, So it hits you, and you actually duck down a bit, and your shoulder and back essentially helps it glide off you.

Your hair gets pushed to the side from the blow of the impact, and it hurts, but you keep yourself on the ground there. You took the full impact for a moment and just let it slide off the side. Somewhere, a duck barbarian would be proud. Yeah. End of its turn, it's going to go ahead and,

oh, okay, it's another natural 20 to save against your spell, so it is no longer enfeebled. Oh no. Okay, okay. However. Just one monk in its mouth, no big deal. It's stuck in this blade barrier and surrounded, but you guys both have, it's not smart enough to know that. It's going to go blade barrier and surrounded, but you guys both have,

it's not smart enough to know that. It's going to go ahead and try and move out of the battle area here. To your heads. Help. So it's going to shift around here and head towards Caduceus. Sentinel! Sentinel!

So both of you guys get attacks of opportunity on it. So do I. It hasn't left your melee range yet. Yes. Yes. 21. 21? Sentinel! Oh wait, do I get to hit it even though I'm in its mouth? Oh no, no, you are grappled and restrained.

You, no, you're in its mouth, because you were traveling with it. But that does hit, so it doesn't move. So it stays put. Wow. Thank you. You're welcome So it stays put. Wow. Thank you. You're welcome. This is interesting.

Okay. So yeah, it does not move at all. It is currently still. A good thing and a bad thing. In the space here. Why is that a bad thing? Oh. You'll find out.

All right, so, do you want damage on that one, if you don't mind, Yasha? Okay. What do you think, damage? don't mind, Yasha? Okay. What do you think, damage? It's a nuclear T-Rex. Do we damage it or do we blow it? Yes, it'll dent. You watch as the green in its eyes glows.

You see the little digit numbers counting down in its eyes. You hear it starts laughing like Predator. 21. 21, you gotator. 21. 21, you got it. Nice. So as you hack, you see the area of, as it tries to move, the leg where it had been pummeled

by Beauregard, it's already bruised and swollen, and with that, you just take the blade in one swing, cut the Achilles tendon and it buckles, then can't move and it roars angrily. But the roar's muffled because its mouth is filled with Beauregard, so it's like. But also with a little bit of her screaming in there.

So it just sounds awful. It's like a horrible goat braying. Woo! Yep. All right. Finishing that turn, Caduceus, you're up. Great. Chabot, chabot, chabot. Blood of a toy goat, so how?

How hurt is this thing? It's hurt. It's not in death's door, but it's totally going to the house. How hurt is this thing looking? It's hurt. It's not on death's door, but it's showing some wear and tear. You can see from the blows it's taking, it's bleeding out in some areas of the heavy wounds. Its head is stuck currently in a giant wall of spinning ethereal blades.

Ray of enfeeblement again. Okay, go ahead and roll for attack. Ooh, 14? Vengering. 14 does hit. Oh my god. 14 is its armor class. No, it just hits. All right, it's feeble again.

Oh! And then? You sure? You sure? Not every, you know. How do you do that? When you get the jump on him like that? Yeah.

It's not that hard. Seven players on one creature while sleeping. I did not think a crit would insta-kill Beau. Oh, I mean. Or drop you to zero, right? I can't throw a healing word, can I, right now, or no? To the T-Rex? That's a bonus attack. To the T-Rex.

Just to even the odds. Make it interesting. I'm going to duck back. I'm going to find cover again, then. Okay, so you dart back behind the tree, then? I'm going to duck back. I'm going to find cover again then. Okay, so you duck back behind the tree then? I'm good. All right. Give old Dale a couple hit points. Beth, it's your turn. Oh, me?

Yes. I will reload and fire again. Sharpshooter. I love that. 12 plus 10 minus five is 17 to hit. 17 does hit. All right. Still got sneak attack damage? Is it engaged?

It is very engaged with many things right now. Not me. 20. Nope. You are such a cheerleader. I know, you made us do this. You were the kid who took us to the roller coaster. Like, nope. 38 points of damage, nice.

You're delegating. You guys are so cool. You fire again, and you wait a second, and you're about to shoot, and then as it turns its head out of the blades, you can see Beauregard's arm off the side. You're like, nope, not that. You shoot a little lower, it fires,

strikes right by the clavicle area, and as the bolt sinks in, you can see gouts of blood go. Oh boy. Ooh, arterial. You got it, Artyom. Oh boy. How much damage was that again? 38. Okay, fuck, I should have. I almost doubled it, arterial. You got him, Artyom. Oh boy. How much damage was that again? 38. Okay, fuck.

I should have, I almost doubled it, damn it. Almost doubled? I can do that. Wow. But this is better, this is better. This is fine. You can double it before it hits. Do you want to move or stay put?

I'll stay put. I'm just starting to feel bad for the creature now, so. Okay, Jester, your turn. Okay, I'm going to Guiding Bolt it. All right. At 5th-level. You can partially see it from where you are, but you can move a little bit. So I can, yeah.

All right, so at 5th-level? Actually, Matt, can I use my bonus action to just scan to see if there's any other T-Rexes? Sure, make a perception check. Good call. 13. 13. 13. At the moment, it seems pretty safe.

Okay, we're good. The birds are scattered. That's all. Okay, Jester, what are you doing? Guiding bolt at 5th-level. I hate it. Commotion in the blood. 15?

15 to hit? 15 does hit. Okay, so that's eight d6. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. 10, 16. Oh, that's a lot of ones! 16, 17, 18, 19, plus four. 19 plus four is 23. 23.

That's great. 23 points. 23 points of damage, all right, nice. And he's advantage on the next. On the next strike against it. So as Jester comes from behind the tree and releases the Guiding Bolt, you watch as the swirling pinkish-purple blast strikes up, impacts it, and sends these ribbons

of divine energy around it that have this almost pointed-out arrow going, Hit here! Hit here! Hit here! Bing, bing, bing, bing! All right, you're going to stay put or you're going to move behind the tree again? I'll back up a little bit.

All right, get a little bit of space between you, blocking perspective of the very dangerous creature. Finishing Jester's turn. Caleb, you are up. Fjord, you're on deck. Finishing Jester's turn, Caleb, you are up. Fjord, you're on deck. So with Jester's advantage, I will bite into his haunch. Go for it. That is 27 to hit.

That hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Woo! 25, 32 points of damage. Wow. 32 points of damage. And. 32 points of damage. And not because there's anything behind me, but just because I can, I will use my tail attack

to slam the ground because I am a fucking dinosaur. Indeed you do. This dirt and dust and bits of leaf and vegetative matter just get shot up into the air in this white spray of whatever was behind Caleb. It was Veth. Yeah, Veth definitely gets spattered with a bunch of it. All right, that finishes your go, Caleb.

Fjord, you're up. Yes, I'm just enjoying the view. Three more Eldritch Flags! A one, a two, a three. A 23 for the first one. That's cocked. That's a natural one on the second. You have advantage.

I do? No. Go Guiding Bull. Only for the next attack. Oh, that was you were not. And a 22 on the third. Okay, so two hit. Two hit. Where I just was. That's all good. 14, that's off the table, but it's a 10.

29 points of force damage. Okay, so as all this is happening, you have that moment where you turn around and in slow motion, you can hear the sad Enya music start playing. It's just like its head in this cloud of blades, Beauregard slowly flailing in its jaws.

How do you want to do this? Yeah! That's just right. Beauregard slowly flailing in its jaws. How do you want to do this? That's just right. I'll aim the Eldritch Blast and I'll go, sorry. No! K.O. Splatoon? With Beau in the mouth.

Yep, Beau's just like, ow, ow, ow! You take an additional 10 points of piercing damage from its head hitting the ground, because it's fun. Oh my god. The end of music. Who can say? Aw. So.

I was hoping it would survive at least to the next round because at the beginning of Beau's turn, with it held in its jaws, it would have been holding Beau in the blade wall as well. I know, I know, I know. It just. Oh! There go her feet.

Yeah. See? Oh my god. But now the creature is down. A silence, a hush falls over this section of the jungle. Is anything approaching? Make a perception check. That's a 22. 22. Looking around,

the birds haven't returned. It is quiet, and you get the sense that the combative roars of this creature probably sent anything else scattering within a radius. So you feel you may be safe for a little while. As you all settle down, the adrenaline fading a bit, the realization that there is a giant bangle-striped T-Rex Caleb there.

Who looks back and forth for a moment and then takes a bite of the dead T-Rex. What? Oh! That's for later. That's for the con, man. Where is that even going to go when you bamf back to Caleb? Are you still in the mouth?

Yeah, I think I'm out, but I'm definitely bleeding a lot. Yeah, just a blood-covered Beauregard, like, pushing out of its jaws. Beau, you look awful, but so cool at the same time. Do I? Yeah. These are going to be some dope scars, man.

Oh my gosh. It's going to be some dope scars, man. Oh my gosh. It's going to be pretty cool. Yeah, those teeth holes that are this wide, all are entrobotic. Yeah, just. A large, large piece. I'm going to give you a little bit of care wound. How do we transport this?

Can you polymorph a dead thing? I was just thinking about that. Can you polymorph a dead thing? Generally, it's reserved for a living creature. Can we heal it back up just to polymorph it? 21 points. Perhaps we should. It's a tough call, because once the creature dies,

it's now an object as opposed to a creature. That makes sense. Well, maybe Caleb, dinosaur Caleb, can pull him along. For 45 minutes, anyway. For a while, yeah. Yeah. That's what I was thinking. All right, let's do that.

I can always polymorph into one after Caleb dies and then I can pull him along. Caleb steals another bite. No, stop! Caleb, stop it! That's for paying customers! It's a big dinosaur. Casts something on you.

All right, so who here has animal handling? Oh, me? Medium. Caleb will take it by the tail and lift the tail up and then look at the group. Okay. Medium. Caleb will take it by the tail and lift the tail up and then look at the group. Okay. Do you want to try and guide Caleb in this Tyrannosaurus Rex state?

Sure. Caleb! Can I climb onto your back? That's a yes, right? I mean, no, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no way to find out I mean, so, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am. Go ahead and make an animal handling check. Oh no. Caleb, is that a yes? Can I guide myself as I do this? Sure. I'm going to play a T-Rex in an internet TV show. Oh no! A one!

Oh no! Oh no! That little blue tiefling looks really delicious. But you know better, you know better. But you're uncertain of their plan, necessarily, so it's going to take you guys a little bit of time to try and lash this very large, we're talking, this is many thousands of pounds of meat here.

So if you're going to bring the body, it's going to be a collected effort. All of you plus this and whatever spells you have at your disposal that might aid this. Oh! Oh yeah. Could I, could I? Yeah, could I try to, if I polymorph myself, is it going to be another difficult thing of like

trying to figure it out too, or? I think once we figure it out. Once I know I can polymorph myself. If you polymorph yourself and do it with the idea, like? I think once we figure it out, Once I know I can polymorph myself. If you polymorph yourself into it with the idea, it's less about, you don't lose all memory of who you are and your friends and such, but for a creature of this intellect, it can be challenging to

convey complicated ideas. But if you are taking it in, I'll allow you to maintain at least elements of that. Okay, then I'm going to also polymorph myself into a T-Rex. What does your T-Rex look like? Blue. I mean, I assumed, I was just wondering.

Yeah. No, yeah, but blue, but with like, can I make him have like purple freckles all over? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So like the, was it the weird Pop-Tarts with the blue and purple Aesons? Yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly like that.

Okay. AP Sullivan? Yeah. All right, so. We now have a bangle-striped T-Rex and a blue Pop-Tart T-Rex. Dragging a white T-Rex. Dragging a white dead T-Rex. Dragging a white T-Rex. Dragging a white dead T-Rex. This is the best Mario Party game ever. We all saw this coming.

All right. Okay, and since you've only transformed for a short time, comparatively, it'll take you the better part of an hour with both of your guys' help and the rest of the party guiding. We'll say for the sake of brevity and narrative, nobody gets in your way. Any of the other creatures that may have been drawn by the ruckus of the party, guiding. We'll say for the sake of brevity and narrative, nobody gets in your way.

Any of the other creatures that may have been drawn by the ruckus through the jungle immediately turns around at the sight. They do the Fjord? Yeah. Good here. Yeah. Do the Fjord, that's the Fjord. Yeah. As you approach the outskirts of Vo,

you begin to hear shouts and screams from people who- We drop it as we get closer. Oh, it's not straight, yeah. People, you just, they just suddenly see two T-Rexes lumbering towards the village, holding a third T-Rex. Everything I happen to see here. He watches as Lilia arrives. With a few other folks and eventually calms them down

and looks up at the T-Rexes. You could see her, she's an insightful individual. She gauges the color schemes and knows your various skills from the travels that she had within the island and calms everyone and goes, Well, I'm certainly impressed. Yeah, that'll feed everyone for a while. And she begins assigning troops of people

to start helping to carve what they can off the body. And as they approach, they all still carefully keep a wide berth around the two other large T-Rexes that stand there. I'm going to start dancing as T-Rex. Like, can I do a couple little kicks? You know, like a kicking line? Yeah, I mean, my arms are doing this,

but I'm doing big kicks with my legs. Make a performance check. A dancing T-Rex emote. Using Slack. Make a performance check with the Tyrannosaurus Rex's charisma, which is a minus one. Okay. Rachel is so happy right now.

Yeah, somewhere Rachel. Three! Three! And you're headed to dance. To anyone else, it feels like a threatening war stomp. And the people that were gathering towards the white T-Rex run back about 15 or so feet and wait for you to finish.

Forts backs up, pull up. I see they're scared and I'll stop. I take that opportunity to take another bite of the corpse. No! 15 or so feet and wait for you to finish. Fjord backs up. I see they're scared and I'll stop. I take that opportunity to take another bite of the corpse. No! We whack you off. No! No.

No? I use my tiny arms and try to hit Caleb to make him stop. All right. I'm like a dinosaur version of my dog. Spray bottle. We did it, guys. We'll rave into you. Leave it. We killed a T-Rex. We killed a T-Rex.

So many more. Oh, I flag them down and I say, the teeth are ours. We get the teeth. It'll be all right. Okay. Please. Keep them from, yeah. Some of the teeth.

They start saying, all the teeth? Yes. As many as you can. Well, one for each. I'm trying to not overcomplicate it. As many as you can safely remove. Can we just keep a few? Like, they want to talk about making tools and stuff.

Yeah. That's fair, yeah. You are? Yeah. See what we can pull out. So we'll say for the remainder of the day, the corpse is being prepared for its meat, for its bones. It's going to be harvested and utilized by the villagers who are staying behind,

as well as preparation for the rest of the event as it arises. Could you make armor out of T-rex hide? I mean, the right person probably could. Would it be like, it's not like dragon armor, cool, tough hide? Obviously not. You guys carved it pretty heavily. I don't know.

Those balloons are crazy, though. Yeah, decorative, it would be awesome. Make a nice pair. Effectiveness is... Albino tooth. Questionable. You could put one tooth on either foot, so you have little... High heels?

Or high heels. That's another way to go. Not on the heel, or I was thinking on the toe, but the heel is better. It feels way better. And be the douchiest club owner. That would be so great. Could make the drums out but the heel is better. Heel's way better. And be the douchiest club owner. It would be so great. Yep, yep. Could make the drums out of the hide. Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That'd be pretty. Let's do a couple drums out of T-Rex hide. Okay, so taking some of the T-Rex hide, drums are constructed. The third day comes to an end. Oh, a wintful Wednesday. Yeah, very much so. A successful hump day. What a week.

Hump day, hump day. Anything else we should do for the third day or lead on to the fourth? Was there a large blood trail that was left dragging this T-Rex from the wilderness back to the village? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Should we do something about that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe tomorrow we'll get rid of the blood. Tomorrow, yeah, that's usually where things go well. Okay, yeah, we'll do it tomorrow. Also, we should check in to see if they need anything for getting the boat up and running. Tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. Tomorrow. Nothing else today.

Okay. Okay. Third day comes to a close, an eventful day. So you rest for the night. The fourth day is now at your disposal. As you awaken, you see new arrivals are beginning to come within the village. A group of about 20 or so individuals have arrived with their various types of luggage.

A lot of them are a variety of individuals from different levels of class, attire that spans a lot of the local menagerie coast, the Empire, there are a couple of possible Xhorhasian individuals there, one of which you recognize as an elderly gnoll. Oh. I run over to the elderly gnoll.

Okay. Oh. Hey, you! Oh, right, I remember you. Jester. Yes. Kovac. Kovac, that's right, I remember you. Jester. Yes, well, Kovac. Kovac, that's right, that's right. I remember after. Welcome, I'm so glad you're here.

Oh, thank you for having me. Yeah. You see he's looking around with one larger eye at the front. I take it not a lot of folks here hang around with nose. You can see other villagers are looking curiously at this well-older, still hunched and towering gnoll figure.

Their loss. Well, not going to bite anyone. I know. Yet. Looking at one of the kids in your body, he goes like, I was like, I'm kidding. Well, where should I set up then? You're the one running this thing, right? That's what they're saying.

Yeah, of course. High Priestess Jester. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. You know, I've been a high priestess for quite a while. I just didn't want to say anything before.

Over. Modesty. Yeah. That's one of the descriptive terms that is used often for me. You can just claim any of the empty rooms. You should see if you want one of the better ones. You should look for, I forget the dwarf's name.

Oh, previously? Kelbast. You should, no, I forget the dwarf's name. Oh, previously? Kelvast. You should, no, no, not that one. Oh, sorry, the one who was right here? B.V. Barracks. Barracks, you should find Barracks. He's a dwarf. But with the name of his family, I think he's going by Doran.

Doran, you should find Doran. He's a dwarf. He's helping to run this area and stuff. He'll set you up with a good room. All right, thank you. Tell him I sent you. Okay. Okay. All right.

It's going to be great. You just wait. We're getting ready for some crazy cool stuff here. Okay. He goes off the phone. Everyone here, this is a lot of confusion, but also some weird, excited energy from the people that are now hosting the newcomers.

There's new fresh blood here in this space. People from all over the vicinity are gathering for a unified purpose, but also are getting to know each other. Some may have met on the ships and have some rapport built, or don't talk to each other after traveling together. But once again, it's that odd, uncomfortable excitement and anxiety before an event of everyone

just being pushed together in a room and going, Hi, I'm going to go get my hotel taken care of. See you there, I guess. So as the energy people begin to scatter. How many people are here now? Now total, there's probably 25, close to 30 people. Wow. Did we end up finishing the path all the way up to the top of the volcano?

It's pretty close to finished, I think. I think it needs a little bit more. We know where it is now, we just, correct. Still just getting cleaned up a bit. All right. Because you went on the hunt, you lost the day of doing that, but you have one more day of clearing up. You should go, yeah. I'll do it.

Okay, you got it. Did anyone set up the bar? You should do that. I should do it. Okay. Did anyone set up the bar? You should do that. I should do that. You know what you're doing now. I do. I start to set up the bar. All right. Caleb, maybe we should make something amazing towards the top of the volcano. Right at the peak or on the way?

Like, maybe at the bottom of the volcano, like as you're going up to the top or something, some really cool, like... Save me. Like lots of dicks sort of thing. going up to the top or something, some really cool, like... Save me. Like, lots of dicks sort of thing. You know, because at that point, we're all sacrificing our dicks, you know?

Yeah, here's what we will do. At the beginning of the pathway that Caduceus has created, I will make, on each side of the path, going 30 feet up, a series of what look like floating circular icons, and each one is a crescent moon with a dick pointing through it, creating the look of like a bow and arrow, combining the moon weaver plus your gentleman,

and so there'll be like'll be runway lights pointing up. That's really wonderful. Like a Soviet hammer and dickle? Yeah. Caleb, I think you've missed your calling as an artist. These are really amazing works of art that you're creating. You rub off on people. As you are setting up the bar,

the brief conversation comes around, the villagers there going, The problem is we don't really have a way to make alcohol. All of us lived without it for this long. We don't have a still or any means of doing that. Huh. Wow. I do realize the art of booze making

has been around for thousands of years, and it's really not that hard to ferment the fruit you guys have locally. Oh, I'm sure, but we didn't think to do that. I don't know how that's an afterthought, you know? Well, he's trying to explain himself. The voice behind him goes like, I'm sorry, I assume inside there's a problem with alcohol.

Oh, turn around. Yeah, who are you? You see a middle-aged halfling with this thick chin beard, but it's shaved, his hair on the shaven sides, this black pompadour that goes to the back. Kind of looks like a little Keith Richards-esque, just half the size of a normal person, wearing some darkened studded leather vest

over some billowing sleeve cloak, and he has a lute strung over his shoulder, and what looks to be a small cart that he's pulling behind him with a small pony. So he's like a gnome? He's a halfling. Halfling. Rockabilly halfling, got it. I like you.

You look like you know what I'm talking about. Say I'll die. What do you got? Well, I came prepared, you see. I brought my own shit to go ahead and set up. Did you just get off one of these boats? I did. What's your nine?

Jester. I'm going to shit to go ahead and celebrate. Did you just get off all these boats? I did. What's your name? Jester. Make a deception check. What? What? What? What's your game here? I don't know. I don't have one. Deception.

Yeah, having fun. 19. He goes, All right, my name's a Traveler. Welcome to my event. Hang on, wait. Is she that famous? Is she that well-known?

I've no idea what you're talking about. Yeah, me neither. Look, I was told there was going to be a fucking party here. Yeah. So I brought a lot of things to do at the party. Dope. And by that, I mean this. He pulls the sheet back on the top

and you can see the large, dark brown glass jugs of some sort of liquid news. I got a little rum. I love you. What's your name? Beauregard. What's yours? Kent Plucker. Kent Plucker? That's a great name.

Fuck yeah, Andy. That's a great name. Amazing. Traveling lutesmen. I've been here, been around the world, and seen a lot of things, but this. He refers to the village around, that's fucking weird. Yeah.

Wait, what are you pointing at? What? All of this. I know who he is. It's on All of this. I know who he is. It's on. Anyway. You know who he is? He is part of Dr. Dran's group. I was wondering if he was part of it.

He was. He was. Okay, okay. Kent Plucker. Uh-huh. A lutesman. Yeah. Okay. Killer! Okay. What? With your help, he starts getting

the large, heavy jugs of rum over, and between the two of you and some other aid, you begin setting up a bar area. Do we owe you anything for this, man? Oh, this is all part of my appreciation and worship of the Great Traveler. How'd you come under his spell, if you will? Oh, I am not into any of that bullshit.

I'm really just helping a good friend of mine who I actually believe in. How about you? How'd you come into this shit? Honestly, he just listened to a performance I was doing, said he liked it, so we started talking music, we wrote a little song together, and then that's where it started. Wow. Yeah.

You're that easily persuaded. Okay. Oh god. What? Maybe Beau should be. I can put all this right back in the cart and just take it to someone who appreciates it. I don't know. No, I'm fascinated by this.

I'm just serious. Maybe she shouldn't be frowning. Don't get me wrong. Customer service, not. He leans in and goes like, Shittiest cause here. What are you doing here? I'm fascinated by the gate I'm setting up

at the park. That's what you're wearing. Two-tile baby. Don't get me wrong, I respect a hot ass. Mm-hmm. Oh, are you want, what? Are you wanting me to say something like, oh, Traveler's great. Oh, are you want, what? Are you wanting me to say something like, oh! Traveler's great. You're right, you got me.

Enjoy some of the rum. Thanks, Kent. Takes his lute off around his shoulder and walks away, kind of plucking a little bit of a theme to himself. Kent Plucker! So. Got the barstool. Kent Plucker! Pluck in a little bit of a theme to himself. Can't pluck her. So. Can't pluck her. More than meets the eye.

Oh, that's a good solid two. Off to work on that one. All right, so as this day progresses, you continue the path up that way. You begin to carry the rest of it at the top of the volcano. You're setting up the signs that make their way up in the symbol of what you requested.

You set up a bar area. Fourth day comes to a close. Can I ask, does anybody else, is anybody else thinking about that vision that Beau, that Beau gave us? Yes. That Vokodo? Wait. Yeah.

I mean, you guys saw it too, right? That vision before he disappeared. Did you see that city thing? Yeah. Yes. I thought that was just me. Does it seem terrible to anybody else? Well, it just seemed so abstract and alien. Like, I didn't really give it much thought.

I've been thinking about what to do about it, but it's a big question. I thought I would let you have your week before I... Yeah, we should probably focus on this first. I was going to mention, actually, it might be something worth asking the Traveler about. first, just thinking about it. I was going to mention, actually, it might be something worth asking the Traveler about. I was planning on it as soon as he gets back. I think it's a good idea. Yeah.

But do we think it's an actual threat? I thought the creature came from the Astral Sea, which is really, really not here, right? Yeah, it was an unsettling thing to experience, but. I talked to the Wild Mother about it. Oh. And outside of her understanding, her ability to see what it is,

but it is possible that it is. It might be coming here. It might know. It's entirely possible we even may have made too much noise. I don't know yet. What? I've got other questions to ask. It's just my mind has been cloudy.

I wonder if when we sent Voh back, if it gave visions of us to that thing. Maybe. Oh no. Maybe, but there is so little that we know. It might've just been vestiges of Vokoto's fears or emotions. It fled where it came from. We don't know that it means anything yet.

May not. Yeah. You do believe that they weren't immediate visions or premonitions. They were fragments of memory. Memory? Yeah. Okay. There's something, there's a few things in there that do disturb me. I haven't been able to...

Like what? Why was it running? Why the eyes? Why run here? The eyes? Yeah, remember there was nine eyes. Nine eyes. Since I'm talking about it,

realizing that we all had this vision, I don't know if there's any connection. I'm assuming that there is, but Molly had nine eyes on him. It was, you know, so I wonder if there's some kind of connection. Molly? What do you mean? His tattoos. Did you say that?

His, yeah, his tattoos. His tattoos. Beau just turns around and lifts up the replica of her seeing eye tattoo on the back of her neck. He had nine of those? He had nine of them. Is that rooted in some sort of folklore or? Do we know anything about that? Or religion or something? Not that I know of.

Would either the Empire Kid or the readers Not that I know of. Would either of the Empire kids know? The readers? If anybody has proficiency in religion. I think I do. I do, technically. Yeah. Do. You guys can both roll. 25. This'll be comedy.

Oh my god, this is going to suck. Five. Okay, 21. Hey! Hey! It's not terrible. Nothing religious stems from that. I mean, there is iconography in many religions. The Whispered One, who attempted ascension

two decades before, had very much eye in hand iconography. The Knowing Mistress, my mentor, has the three eyes and the Cobalt Soul, the design itself is based around the three eyes, but nothing in particular is like a nine-eyed arrangement or anything similar to Molly's tattoo designs, at the very least. Camilla and Archon check, if you tattoo designs, at the very least. You can roll an arcana check if you'd like as well.

Sure. Both of us or just those who are trained? Both of you guys, since you're the ones who are trained in arcana. Go, Caleb, get it. Perfektion to an arcana, 23. 23. Nothing catching your attention either.

I mean, I know we like to apply meaning to things and this might be meaningful, but this thing, this Eye of Nine, we are the Mighty Nine. Perhaps we are just jumping at shadows. Maybe, but didn't we also see, like when we were going around with the whole Uk'otoa business?

Wasn't there like three things and there was three creatures, and they each had three, and that's three, and that's nine? Like the worm and the phoenix. I mean, once you start picking at numerology, it just, you can go forever. Perhaps. I thought Uk'otoa had a whole bunch of eyes.

Uk'otoa has many Uk'otoa. Greater Truths. Would I know anything from my, like, any of my, anything from my, like, Cloven crystals? Anything from my deep speech, abyssal training? I have a proficiency in nines. Yeah.

Technically, you all have proficiency in nines. No, nothing. Nothing. 19 to one. I don't know what else you're over there. Natural 20 into the darkness. Yep. Natural 20. I don't know what I was rolling. Natural 20 into the darkness? Yep. Perfection.

You just say, I killed a T-Rex and glisten for a second. Sorry. Silent fart. Nobody knows. Well, we'll just keep an eye out for it, I guess. No, it's fine. My impression of that happening was like an octopus in fear.

When it flees, it just explodes out a cloud of ink into the water, and I felt like we were just getting clouded by his last fleeting terror. But. I've been dreaming of it. Repeatedly? You've been dreaming of it. Yeah, it might just be stuck in my head, but I haven't figured out what the right questions are yet.

Well, we don't plan on traveling there, and this creature, Vokodo, found its way here through that rift, right? The Shard. He created a rift. He broke through. Right, so are we thinking that's going to be replicated? Mm-hmm. A very, very long questions.

How did he even do that in the first place? How did they do it in the... How did he do it in the first place? How did they do it in the... How did he do it in the first place? He did. And why would that... Why would he do it in the... Does he do it in the second places? Why would that sentient city chase him?

To what end? Why did you have a friend with nine eyes tattooed on himself? Yasha, you knew Molly better than any of us. Is there anything he mentioned? Anything that you can recall that he didn't tell us? I know he didn't... He didn't know what those tattoos were. He didn't know where they came from?

No. He tried to cover them, but it never worked. So he just became a canvas and added to them. What the fuck? Wow. He had that one in his hand. Remember the tattoo on his hand? Mm-hmm.

And then there was the eye and the peacock. What was his past life? He doesn't even remember. Unless there was something he wasn't telling us. All right, let's go get Molly. Maybe we should. I'm only half joking. Later, though, we have so much we're doing here, right? Yeah, Traveler Con, you guys!

Yeah, it's now. This is it. We got to go. We got one more day. Maybe we circle back to this. How many more days? We'll say two full days before the actual event. Two more full days. Pleasant dreams, everyone.

Good night. I feel great about our progress. This is very encouraging. I think it's coming along really well, honestly. Thank you guys for everything you're doing. And don't forget, you're representatives of the Traveler, okay? Is there a thing that we say?

Have we decided on that? Oh, yeah. Oh, let the chaos enter your heart. Let your chaos be your guide. Jordan, let chaos be your guide? Good. Yeah, okay. Okay, cool. We're supposed to be saying that to people?

And we've had nothing but positive interactions with the guests coming to the island, right? Everyone feeling welcome and, you know, nurtured. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So many friends. Cool. Also, don't point like this.

That's offensive in some cultures. Right, you have to do the... Like a boop? Right, the boop. Oh, yeah, just the boop. Never to the food. Poor finger you have to do the... Like a boop? Right, the two fingers. Oh yes, just the two. Never to the food. Poor finger. I always do the fist to the thumb.

And it's never not a problem, it's my pleasure. Oh, yeah. Don't mention the problem. Right, right, right. And don't do that if you're holding one of the dicks. That just gets weird. Or maybe do do that because... You said do do. I did. said do do that. I did.

Do do that. Faos rain. That's like this of this faith. Faos rain. Faos rain. Best secret hand wave ever. Oh no. Okay.

Let the chaos reign. I'm also with you. So. All right. The next couple of days are eventful in the sense that numerous people begin to arrive, ship after ship. Some not ships, some magically transport. But you have the day before the actual date

of Traveler Con, over a hundred individuals arriving. The village is now more bustling than it's ever been. Personalities are tense and clashing in some places while new friendships are forging around. Many loud voices, boisterous, people excited, talking about and pointing at the various elements that have been prepared here. People looking at the archway above

and some artists doing sketches and an element looks like rubs against parts of the iconography that's been sculpted into the nearby wood. The villagers who've remained look a little overwhelmed, but are trying their best. People are having to room together in groups because chambers that were once built for one or two individuals

are now having to house four or five to keep people comfortably prepared for the day as it arrives. You finish the remainder of your preparations as the final groups are sent on their way via Vilya, as the Eve hits before, let's say, Traveler Con Eve is upon you. And you guys are taking a moment to take in the voices, the lights, the colors.

People have brought their own decorations, their own outfits, their own outfits, their own, you know, cloaks. All right, so are we. Yeah. All peace bonded. We should definitely, you know, have some like music playing. There are musicians who are here that are playing.

It is, you gather, it is the type of chaos the Traveler would be appreciative of. And into the evening, which actually to that point, I'm going to go ahead and, because it seems right for this. And this is Traveler's Eve, right? This is Traveler's Eve. All Traveler's Eve. All Traveler's Eve.

Awesome. Yeah. As this is happening, and you guys are ducked off just out of sight, taking in the space around you, the anxiety building in your chest a little bit, a couple of footsteps arise, and a familiar red-haired figure saunters up and goes, Well, I have to say, this is rather impressive.

Are you going to let everyone know you're here, or? No, no, I'm keeping a low profile. Trust me. What was the phrase again? Let chaos reign. Let chaos reign. Let chaos reign. They don't see me that way. Zipun just waves and goes walking.

No one's ever seen you the way you actually are? Well, only you're seeing my true form. I'm putting a glamor up for everybody else. Oh, wow! People are killing each other over on the other side of the square. My fighting pit is working! Those numbers are going down, you're pleased.

That was inspired. I'm excited to see what comes out of that. So what's the plan? We have most everyone here, a couple of stragglers coming in tonight. I've guided most all of the ducks to the event, and I am beyond excited and extremely proud, Jester. I'm so glad.

Well, we'll see how tomorrow goes. Indeed. See how proud you are then. Tomorrow, I figure, you know, we'll start the day off with a big musical concert, you know, get everybody start the day off with a big musical concert, you know, get everybody gathered in the square. Oh my god, are you going to do a keynote speech?

Yeah, I'll announce the dick hunt. Okay, okay, yeah. Oh my gosh, are people in the craft area, are they beating the, are they carving their dicks? Have we been doing that this whole time? Oh yeah, no, there are plenty of dicks being carved. There are whole families that are over there doing it as a communal event.

There's a sign out front that just says, Come Whittle Dicks. A little how-to. Come Whittle Dicks! Yep. Jesus. But yeah. This is totally a kid show. Totally, totally.

Family fun. Man. Well, my responsibilities shall come to a close tonight. With all of them being shepherded here, I have done my part. Until tomorrow's performance. Then, when that is done, they'll be free and we'll be free. Just me and you?

You and me. I love it. Couple of other people, but. No, fuck them. But you're my favorite. Okay, good. Are you all ready? Yeah, yeah, we're all. Whatever.

Fueled up on dinosaur meat and ready to go, yeah. All right. I guess I should show my appreciation for all the work you've done, both in being friends and aids to Jester in her journeys and personal growth and to helping myself with this endeavor. I can gather that not all of you are fans of me, and that's fine.

I get it. Few are. But nevertheless, I'm appreciative. You all have cloaks, right? Cloaks? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I make cloaks for everybody. We do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very well, very well. Well, thank you. Do you need anything of me this evening? Can I talk to you for just a second? Of course. Can we walk away? I love that you guys actually will try it. Been waiting for this moment.

So you roll around and walks with you into the village. Oh. Well. Unless you know my privacy. No, no, no, I mean, this is fine. I don't know, I guess I just, it's all built up to this day,

and I just want to tell you how glad I am that you're here and and that I'm proud of you I know that you know you're saying you are just bored

of having everybody worship you, but I think it's really great that you're kind of letting everyone move on. I would say reserve such... Don't get me wrong, I'm very appreciative of your appreciation. I do have a weak spot for flattery, you're not wrong. But I mean, as much as I've guided you through the years,

don't think you haven't guided me. And this is an example of that as well. I'm happy to have found a path, but truth be told, maybe I needed a bit of guidance myself. I'm a selfish creature by nature. And I love that about you. Well, I've watched you grow up into something quite impactful.

You tend to change those around you for the better. Well, those that matter anyway. The others you leave screaming and kicking and extremely confused, which is how, in my opinion, the best interactions should end. You taught me well. Well, this isn't an end of anything, necessarily. This is a new beginning.

We've been partners for a very long time. Look how much you've done without me. Right? Yeah. Look how much of a mess I made without you. Yeah. Just know that I'm always

around to the best of my ability. I know. And I believe you. Just know that I'm always around to the best of my ability. I know, and I believe you. But whatever strength I've been giving you has just been more of a boost. Because believe me, I've given similar gifts to many of these people, and I look at them. As you glance around, you see a bunch of drunken buffoons

and people that are... I mean, they're all messes in the same way that all of your messes, but they... I don't know. They lack more of a real purpose, at least in the moment that he's showing them in the throes of a celebration in a party, which maybe isn't the best example, but.

Not everyone takes the freedom and the guidance that I offer and, I don't know, twist the world with it the right way. There's too much stuffiness, too much self-aggrandizing. It seems that mortality leads people to feel like they're rushing to some end. Yeah, it does. Maybe you should make me immortal.

Sorry, I don't mean to laugh so hard. This is quite funny to me. But no. Very few individuals know how to pull the rug out from under the world around them and still leave them smiling. That's what I want. I don't want to hurt anyone, not intentionally.

And those that I do hurt, well, I do feel a little bad. See? But doesn't tragedy build character? You're growing! Doesn't tragedy build character? It does, it does, but still. When we first met, you didn't ever feel bad. I still don't feel bad most of the time,

but you've grown on me, you're not wrong. Artie? Yes? You're my best friend. And no matter what, you always will be. Funam. Can I grab both sides of his face? Sure.

I'm going to lean in like I'm going to kiss him. He looks a bit confused. I'm going to bite his nose. As it happens, he's like, pulls back a bit. Hmm. What the hell is that? He looks over your shoulder, extremely worried. Hmm, all right.

He's gone. Yeah, I knew it. You take a step and he kicks the back of your knee out from under you. It's... He's gone. Yeah, I knew it. You take a step and he kicks the back of your knee out from under you. It's the back. What's that? Yeah. Yeah. The asshole Batman.

Got to turn around. I've lived a very long time. I've made many friends and lost many friends. So I don't expect things to always last. With the time that I've made many friends and lost many friends. So I don't expect things to always last. With the time that I have, I've learned to appreciate it. The temporary things. I mean, there's a good chance that even I'm not as eternal as I believe.

When things are temporary, and you know it and you understand it, you truly savor it. So even we might be temporary. So let us appreciate the time we have. Okay. Now I'm going to have a drink. Do it. Revel with these idiots for the last time.

He saunters off into the crowd, which is weird from your perspective, because they all worship him, and he just walks in the middle, but they all treat him just like another one of the people there because they do not see the Traveler. I'll make my way back to the group. Okay.

Wow. You guys ready for this? Still not entirely sure what this will be, but... Me neither. Me neither. I say we start tomorrow, not bright and early. Who wants to wake up after all of this alcohol, bright and early, and travel up a volcano? Nope. We should do it

towards the evening. No one goes to 9 AM panels. No. We didn't really set up like a security team, did we? Like, as the night gets a little longer and more crazy, should we be, I don't know, keeping an eye on the frivolity? We'll keep an eye. I mean, aren't we supposed to let chaos reign?

I mean, yeah, but... Can't do that safely, can you? I don't know if I have the answer to that question. Safety third. Safety third, yes. Then no. I guess we can just keep an eye on things, make sure nobody kills each other.

I mean, yeah, I'm not going to bed anytime soon. Yeah. I think I'm going to bartend for a few hours, because that's funny. Cool, cool, cool. Yeah, I think we should just let it happen. Huh. Also, I gave trees five more bottle rockets, so that's going to be really funny in about 10 minutes.

Yeah. Think people might get violent? They might. Huh. I did build a fight slash dance ring. Oh. I feel like that fight slash dance ring. Oh. I feel like that's at least putting some boundaries on things.

That's true. I'm going to go dance. Is Vilya still here? Vilya is still here, and actually, as you guys are having this conversation, you glance over and you can see as everyone's partying, sitting at one of the tables on the outskirts of the group, talking to no one,

is Vilya with a cup, just holding it, staff leaning against the table, looking down into it by herself. I'll go over and say hi. Oh, hello. Hey, have you finished your... I guess I have. Oh shit, let's see.

Were you going to stick around for tomorrow or do you think you're done? I mean, we don't really know what this party's going to be and, you know, we're set. So if you wanted to go, that would be okay. Suddenly, like, the air, you guys are going to get shoved a little bit, and you can see there's a younger couple who are here, both laughing

and just start making out, kind of leaning against the table before stumbling off that way, and Vilya kind of goes, I'm not sure if these frivolities are really my scene. Yeah. Well, listen, I have been meaning to talk to you about this, but, like, you have a kid out there somewhere, right?

I think so, yeah. And you must be missing her. Very. But at the same time, maybe you're a little nervous to go back? How could I not be? Yeah.

I don't... I've felt the same way many times. Not sure where I fit in in the world, really. Whether I'm meant to be out exploring and traveling or meant to be home caring for someone else or a little of both. And for you, it must be impossible. You don't even know if your little one's where she is or what she's up to or if she's okay.

Not long. Do you have a sense? Have you felt anything? I believe, I feel in my heart of hearts, in my soul, my husband and daughter are okay. That dread has never crept in. Just nerves.

Maybe to wait is just delaying the inevitable. Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing, too. But you can't delay forever. At some point, you have to... you have to go home. You're right. Where are the rest of your friends? Um, I think one of them's dance fighting

and one's talking to her fake god and I think one's playing her crazy weird harp and one's probably just sort of being sad

You know, normal normal night time stuff One's probably just sort of being sad. You know, normal, normal nighttime stuff. Would you think they'd be angry if I left without saying goodbye? No. I mean, not angry. They'd be sad that they couldn't say goodbye to you, but... Every one of us has said... Every one of us has left without saying goodbye to someone in our lives.

We're sort of used to it. And it's... It's like we thrive on unfinished business. So I think they would understand. She sets her cup aside and traces her fingers in the air for a second, and as she does, you watch at the top of the vines that formed the leg, you watch as these two flowers bloom in a third.

Different colors. One pink, one white, one blue. She plucks them from her leg, takes the pink one and says, Give this to your tall, lanky friend, Caduceus. Tell him that, whether it be just nature itself or the Wild Mother's guidance,

he protects the green that keeps those like me alive. Hands the blue one to you and says, and give this to the newbie, Fjord, the one who's beginning his journey, to remind him that the nature that I myself represent is always there to protect him. And she takes the white flower and goes, give this to the quiet one, Yasha.

Because I noticed she likes to keep these in a book. And tell everyone else thank you. because I noticed she likes to keep these in a book. And to everyone else, thank you. I will. Yeah, I will. I know you'll be happy where you're going. And I must say, I'm jealous of you. Why?

You're going to kiss that kid. You're almost done here. I'm sure it won't be long until you get the chance to kiss yours, too. Well, when I do, I'll think of you. She stands up, takes the staff, and walks over to the nearest tree and looks back at you and says, Thank you, Veth.

Thank you for helping us, finding the way. Do you want 350 gold? Because we sort of put it aside for you. Is that? Oh, we put a lot more aside. Is that anything for you or? I mean. You know what?

If you can go ahead and give that to Enola for me. Oh. She's done about as much to guard and keep this place safe as I have, and I think she'll have more use of it than myself. We will, promise. Okay. Watch out for oceans and volcanoes. Travel safe. Will do.

She turns towards the tree, takes a deep, visible breath, marks the front of it with a staff, and he watches the doorway, opens up. And there beyond it, it's a sunset. Wherever it is, you can see oranges and purples and a dark blue that is taking a sky with bits of white cloud that have been swallowed

by the same hues in the air. You see reddish-brown rock, like a mountainside, a precipice of some rocky range. You see over the top of the branches what looks almost like cherry blossom-like leaves, just kind of framing the exterior of the doorway as there are these long benches

like an amphitheater sort of setup that is arranged around it. A few figures kind of sit and stand up curiously. As you see a female figure about 20 feet away, this heavy mantle of transitioning colors, long red hair, and these branching pointed antlers just turn. As Vilya steps through and into the space,

the people back up, and the female figure clasps her chest and begins to run for her, and the doors close. Goodbye. and begins to run for her, and the doors close. Goodbye. And that's where we'll end tonight's episode. Oh my god. I didn't know when that was going to happen. Good stuff, Maddy. Lovely to happen. Good stuff, Maddie.

Lovely little scene. Good stuff, Matt. Lovely little scene. Got me more than I anticipated. Yeah. Love you guys. That was beautiful. All right.

Wow. How lovely. So we're going to pick up next week for the actual event where finally. I know. We just keep pushing. The penultimate game. Trugging on to Traveler Con. Right, we're not giving that to those.

What money? Okay. Oh man. Ah. Next time you guys are out. Leg hair. Leg hair, yay! Episode titled, Dinosaurs and Dicks.

No, I think I do have a title in mind. The Tale of Too Many Dicks. Too Many Dicks. Yep. All righty, well, we'll pick up there next week. Until then, everyone, know that we love you very much. And visit Thursday Head. very much. So good. And visit ThursdayEd. Good night.

So good!