Critical Role - C2E115 Fetching Fables & Frosty Friends

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

The Mighty Nein head into the frozen tundra of Foren, led by their grizzled guide, and must contend with more than a few dangerous elements of the landscape...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Once upon a time, a group of curious storytellers breathed life into epic tales set in the wide fantasy world of Exandria. This is Liam O'Brien, here to welcome you to Critical Role. We'll dive into the story in just a moment, but first, a few notes. This is the audio-only version of our broadcast that streams Thursdays at 7pm Pacificm. Pacific over on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. If you subscribe to our Twitch channel, you can watch the video on demand immediately after the broadcast.

And it's also available Mondays at 12 p.m. Pacific on YouTube. And of course, for all you wonderful podcast listeners, freshly minted episodes release right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network one week after our broadcast on Thursdays. With all that said, let's get into the story. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Down to the upper echelon of the notes there.

Before we jump into tonight's session, we do have some quick announcements to get through, beginning with our sponsor for the evening, Deck of Many, Sam. Our sponsors are Deck of Many tonight, so tonight we've put together a Deck of Many characters. These cards are all the ingredients you need to get a classic Sam Riegel advertisement.

It's stuff like offensive accent or parody song that we can't have the rights to or dad joke or offensive or offensive. So I'm going to pick three things randomly in this deck and we're going to make a character for tonight. Okay, number one, Santa Claus. Number two, France. Number three, doctor.

All right, let's go to the props. Let's see what we got here. Oh good, I like this. Okay, I got a doctor thing. Oh, how convenient. Got a, oh god, yeah, got that. French thing. Let's see, what's a French one?

The mustache? Oh shit. These aren't peeled, are they's see, what's a French one? Le Moustache. Oh shit. These aren't peeled, are they? Well, let's just go with it. We'll go with that. Okay, so I now present Dr. Pierre Santa Claus. Nope. No, you've got no shirt. Point of leave. Ho, ho, hojour!

It is I, Pierre Santa Claus. Deck of Many just launched their Vendredi Noir that's Black Friday sales this year early god damn it get the mustache on there get the mustache on there

if you use the code CR20 that's CR2020 or the link I'm sorry deckofmany.com slash CR2020. You can get shipping on all your orders over $50 in the U.S. and Canada. Of course, I, being Santa Claus,

can deliver all over the world! On Dasher, on Dancer, on Depardieu, on Disneyland Paris! Ooh la la! Oh my god. You can grab the classics from them, like animated spell cards or the awesome RPG Humberwood. Oh, I forgot I'm also a doctor, so get me 20 CCs

of the brand new Islands of Sina Una and a hypodermic injection of the Griffin Saddlebags books. I'm French, too! No. I do not shower! Oh my god! All right. BattleBags books. I'm French, too! I do not shower! All right. Oh my god! Use the code CR2020 or the link thedeckofmany.com,

thedeckofmany.com slash CR2020 and get free shipping on all orders over 50 in the United States and Canada. Vive la revolution! Vive la medicine! Vive la Christmas! Back to you, Matt.

Yay! Wow. Wow! That was, I haven't watched a person melt down in a while. I didn't have a lot of time to read the bit this week. Well, we got a shout out for Gerard Depardieu in there. We did, we did. I am all for creating a Sam deck of many,

and then we just have to force you to do this. Yep. Yeah. But we get to cultivate the cards. Yeah. Ooh. That's a fat cigarette. Is that supposed to be a cigarette? Yeah. It is a, I believe, Morisha calls it a blunt.

Yeah. I do appreciate that it a blunt. Yeah. I do appreciate that it has its own mustache. That's pretty funny. Oh, man. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Deck of Many. I'm so sorry. For our next announcements for today, Laura, you have something to talk about.

Well, hello there. Oh! What is this?. Well, hello there. Oh! What is this? Hold on, hold on. What is this? Oh! I had to put it on, I just love it so much. So yeah, we decided to make our Jester hoodie

from the Mighty Vibes video. Yes! Oh, it's from that? Yeah! Oh, that makes way for something. So you can wear it and you can, you know, just doodle or whatever. This was, of course, inspired by the hoodie

that was designed by Cami Aureopagita. She's the wonderful artist that does the Mighty Vibes stuff. Opening title sequence. Yes, she's phenomenal. And so the hoodie is available in both adult and kid sizes. Pushed for that one. So yeah, they're available in the US, the UK, and the Australian stores.

Check them out. They're so cute. It's so wonderful. Pull that horn off of your head. Is it squishy? Is the horn squished? It's squished. It's so wonderful. Pull that horn off of your head. Is it squishy? Is the horn squished? It's squished. It's lethal.

It's not lethal, it's so wonderful. Yeah, I've had Ronan running around in his. Aw. He looks so cute. He looks so cute with the little ears. Pretty dumb cute. I love it. So yeah, that's all I got. Thank you, Laura. You're welcome.

All righty. Well, that's all we've got as far as announcements go today. Yeah. Thus, let's go ahead and bring us into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Whoa! The Adventure Begins The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you

And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead Villains beware Cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got fouchions and cunning They don't see over there There's a monster incoming

Inspiration is waiting Rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands Take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice Roll, critical, roll, critical Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul

As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll Oh! And welcome back. That was late on the draw. Well done. Why am I always late? Welcome back. So, the Mighty Nein have made their way to Eiselcross after agreeing to be hired by Lady Vess DeRogna So, the Mighty Nein have made their way to Eiselcross.

After agreeing to be hired by Lady Vess DeRogna of the Cerberus Assembly, you made your way across the frozen depths on an icebreaker ship known as the Midnight Hammer, did some battle, made your way to Balinpost, the Cerberus Assembly-handled outpost here for the Empire on the south end of Forin, the largest landmass within the region of Eiselcross.

There, you made some friends, gathered some supplies, and prepared yourself to journey northward with Vess and your hired guide, Dagon Underthorn, the following day. During the evening, you scryed upon Mollymauk and discovered that he was taking some sort of a tome, a weirdly front-backless bound tome, from a comfortable room, and seemed to peer back at you,

could see you, and converse towards you in the middle of your scry. After this chilling exchange, you all were down for the night, and the next day began to wonder why Vess hadn't come to meet you when you went to inspect her area on the third and upper floor of the Fort of Balanpost. You discovered her room had an open window,

a thick layer of snow, and her body laid a strewn palm across the bed, blood pouring from her head in various orifice. You inspected, gathered her body, set it within your amber and wore it to keep it under wraps. Using illusion, you convinced the individuals who are currently curious about why

there was some commotion at Balan Post that Vesterongil was still alive and that they do not have to worry about anything. why there was some commotion at Balan Post, that Vess DeRogna was still alive and that they do not have to worry about anything. In these moments, you quickly gathered your things, met up with Dagen, and set out northward from Balan Post with none the wiser for the time being

of what has transpired. So, Mighty Nein, carrying your magically sealed corpse of Lady Vess DeRogna, member of the Cerberus Assembly, and your fantastic guide, Dagen Underthorn, you leave into the frozen expanse, the distant white snowy horizon of Eiselcross northward. And as the cold midday afternoon begins to set upon you, the temperature causing your cheeks,

or most of you who aren't just her, to begin to sting with adjusting to the new, much more frigid out atmosphere, you crunch through the snow, foot after foot, heading northward. After you get a little ways away from Balan Post and you think you have at least some comfort out of earshot, aside from your companion, your guide,

if there's anything you'd like to do, discuss or anything, or we will move into the journeying portion of this trek. Matt, I think your music stopped, by the way. No, it did. It crashed. Like apps do. Like they do. And just out of curiosity, so the snow is about how high? Mid-shin, knee? From where you are right now,

it can range anywhere from about knee to waist. So are we going to be slowed in this thick powder? Terrain? You would, except you have and brought with you somebody who is extremely well-versed in these regions. Is it me? No. Oh, okay.

Not at all you. Yes, should we have bought snowshoes or something? I didn't even think about that. I just want shaved ice when I see you, Sam. It makes me so hungry. Here we go. I got three different flavors. Looking good, looking good.

Publicum and Gryffindor. I'm into it. So as you begin to set out, you watch as Dagen, who has affixed these metallic shovel-like elements to the front of his chair, lowers them, and you watch as they press down and become almost like a sled slash carving mechanism at the front.

And he just looks back over and says, whoever's going to follow, stay close, and begins to push forward. You can see the wheels he has a set to are different than the ones that he had when he was in town. These have these jagged, almost metal grips across them that they can pick up on the dirt and the rock, and he pushes along, and as he does,

it just grinds this path through the snow. He says, I've got a few miles of this, we might hit some ice, or at least, hopefully, part of the land that's not quite as challenging for you folk. Dagen, is there anything that we can help keep an eye out for on our flanks? Anything that likes to ambush or? Not quite, sir. Challenging for you folk. Dagen, is there anything that we can help keep an eye out for on our flanks?

Anything that likes to ambush or? Anything. Anything. Any, anything is what we're keeping an eye out for. Copy you. Nothing good to see out here, then, at all. No cute winter furry animals or the like. Oh, there are animals, yeah.

No jackrabbits or like, you know. We talked about all of the monsters. Baby seals or. The last decay. I mean, you won't find seals as far into the landmass itself. You can go back to the shore if you're looking for seals. But you might see some snow rabbits, you might see some wolves,

you might see some other north, you might see some wolves, you might see some other North Area bison of some kind, but the further north we go, the less game you're going to find. And this map from Lady DeRogna here, I know we're traveling from Balinpost up towards Eor. Are we going to go along this shoreline, around this plateau elevated area, or Are we going to go along this shoreline, around this plateau elevated area,

or are we going to go along this? I'd recommend going on the eastern side. The cliffs are a little precarious. Lava area. Right, right, the lava river. We'll stay far enough away. Sure, sure, sure. No reason till necessary.

Anyway, follow suit. Now, he does have an actual explore arctic feature, which means difficult terrain doesn't slow his group down. Oh, his group. None of you can become lost unless by magic means. So for Veth, he a ranger? I bet he's a ranger. He's a ranger. He's taken a little bit of ranger, yeah.

That's why he's a good guide in his spaces. Yeah. So, following his lead forward. Where's your damn music? That lead's not coming through to us. We're going to go here. SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and LAURA, and LAURA. There you go.

We have our own set. Perfect. Yay. Spooky. Oh, that's better. Spoopy. Pushing onward, heading northward, you keep yourselves bundled, trying desperately not to inhale too deeply

with any given breath, as certain elements of the wind, as it cuts through, can cause the temperatures to drop far lower than you were expecting, and you catch yourself one point or another sputtering as you can feel some of the moisture in your lungs almost seem to crystallize and freeze, and you cough back out.

This is going to be a tough trek, but nevertheless, as Dagen is leading ahead, who is helming the main visual range around you, who is keeping watch for anything. I'll do that. Okay. Go ahead and make a perception check for me. Can I assist Caduceus? Yeah, if you'd like to.

I'll just, I hover in his, I'm drifting behind him, you know, and just trying to look wherever he's drafting. You're rolling with me, am I taking advantage? You take advantage. All right. Staying in the wind tunnel? Yes, yeah. Natural 20. Just trying to look wherever he's dropping. You rolling with who am I taking advantage? Staying in the wind tunnel? Yes, yeah. Natural 20.

Ooh! Yes! Started off right! These last two sessions, you guys have been just 20 in it. That's good. Well, good, keeping that in mind. Advantage wasn't even needed on that one. Dagen does kind of shout over his shoulders.

He's pushing forward. You said we were going to the, um, the excavation to the east of Aluax, right? Um, A5 is where, um, Lady DeRogna told us to meet her. I know roughly whereabouts where it is. I've passed through there and taken some folks to and from before, so just follow me. Okay. So, trekking through you, there are-

You know, I could maybe send her a message and see if those plans have changed, but- Oh, yes, but- Maybe after a few hours in, we should do that, though. It's a smart idea. We're just getting started. Put some distance. I'd like to do that. Yeah. Fair enough.

Just a note on this map. There is an A question mark that's way to the east, not in the direction we're going. We're okay ignoring that for now, right? Feels like we should do the ones that, like, people have gone to before. Yeah, but the video gamer in me wants to go to the question mark.

I mean, I definitely want to see what the question mark is, but, you know, I know Lady Vess had said, you know, two A and A, two alpha and alpha. This is where we're headed. Dagen, if we hit every one of the A's, how long would that take? Just on the map or all the ones that are known?

Wait, there's ones known not on the map? Well, yeah, there's excavations all around Islecross, across multiple islands, and these are just the ones in the southern portion of Fjord here. Oh. Wow. I think we stick to the map for now. I was only paid to go to the main excavation

and some destinations in between, as you pointed out, but if you wanted to go further than that, it's going to cost you more. And if you want to go across different islands, well, you're going to have to book us passage as well. Okay, okay, okay. What's the furthest north you've been? To the crater.

What's the crater? There's this odd bowl crater. I've only been there once. There's some of the wild folk tell myths of a place that sometimes it's not what you remember it was. Some people say it's a dreamscape of beautiful greenery in the middle of the icy expanse. Others say it's a volcanic destitute nightmare.

Others say it's a weird desert landscape where flying beasts scream. Now, none of that makes sense, and it sounds like folks just going a little crazy when they're lost out in the wilds of Islecross, but I saw with my eyes, looked over Mountain Ridge, and there it was, a big old valley filled with all sorts of weird lush green.

Didn't belong. I think I speak for the group, and I say, I feel like we've seen weirder, so that seems... All right, well, there you go. It doesn't affect you all that much. And you said this was further north? This is to the very, very north. Very north. So right now, you're tempting us with something

that has nothing to do with our current mission. I can tell you, there's a whole... There's a lot of amazing things in Exandria, and I hope you get to see some of them before you die. But I ain't taking you everywhere. Okay, okay, that's fair, that's fair. What if all the way north, maybe that's homeward bound, you know?

Oh. Maybe that's where we're trekking. Bloody Sam. Eventually. Well, if it's a giant crater, I wonder if that's where the... The city used to be. Yeah. Dagen, you don't happen to have a map or know of any of these excavation sites

that might be able to provide a map north of Aeor's location, do you? I keep all that up here. Shit. Are you very good at drawing? I haven't tried. Okay, we'll check it later today. I can sign my name in the snow, if that's what you mean, but...

That's pretty cool. All right, fair enough. And he keeps pushing on. Hmm. Well, for the first day of travel, and to get to that specific location on foot, thankfully, still keeping Dagen in your current group, you'll get there in about five or so days.

Damn. It's five days of travel. Sucks. So for the first day, I would like somebody to roll a d20. Oh, do it. 12. 12. 12. Oh no. All right.

You would have said that. Keeping your eyes open. Yep. The extreme seemed to be bad. Oh no. You move along. A fairly quiet day. The weather is clear. The soft snow that was falling near Balan Post

in the southern portion of the island begins to dissipate. The wind begins to fall to just a fair breeze. While it is still cold, your journey goes unimpeded. So the first day's journey, relatively uneventful. Not bad. Nice, nice. Is there anything you'd like to do before the day is done? Any scrying, any messaging? I will actually borrow,

see if I can borrow a piece of paper from Caleb and maybe just a scrap and see if he has any good cartography skills. Just go right. Take his five or six complete pieces of paper, get whatever you need. Oh, well, I mean, that's expensive paper. You can use my sketchbook.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, please keep your expensive paper. The sketchbook is far easier. Just, I mean, you might totally screw this up. Thank you. Could you just? If you wanted to ask her any more questions. Well, we can't do that now, Could you just ask her any more questions? Well, we can't do that now, but in nine days or so, 10 days.

That's how long awaited it is? It's a long time. Yeah. If you do that, it takes a toll. I definitely can come up with questions for her. It'll be a while. Dagon, I wanted to see how your map drawing skills actually were. Do you want to take a gander at just giving a rough sketch of what North Vale might look like to your best of your ability? Yeah, I figure the weather's not too bad,

pass it on over. You're okay, I'll give it a go. Takes it, weather's not too bad, pass it on over. Yeah, okay, I'll get this guy. Takes it and puts it over his lap and begins to take this piece of rough charcoal and gets sketched out. Well, that's no fun. That was a two. He hands it back to you and goes,

I mean, that's about as good as I can recall. And it's, I mean, it's... It's a Rorschach test with less ink. It, it, it... There's a point where he goes, like, there's Balon Post, and that's where we're going, is the area, or up there is where that crater was, the place I was telling you about.

It's about another, I don't know. Is this an organ? What? No. What, I drew on it? Hold on. Wipes his little patch of spittle from it where he got excited and like, That improved it somehow. Thank you, this is wonderful.

I feel like you have an Etsy shop waiting in the wings. Okay. I appreciate the joking facetiousness. I just am not an artist. Nope, I'm neither am I. No one for cartography, better know where I'm going. All right. And he keeps pushing on for the rest of the day. Actually, at a certain point,

when Dagen is ahead of us leading the way, we'll wait till he's preoccupied, something that occurs to me that I want you all to put in the back of your head is that our friend here probably is in some amount of contact with the other members of the Assembly, but not anymore.

And Ikithon at least has some idea who she is with at the moment, so... Well? We may be hunted. At least we have the benefit of knowing that has some idea who she is with at the moment, so. Well? We may be hunted. At least we have the benefit of knowing that probably no one's going to teleport here for us. Probably. They knew she was coming here. They knew she was going to be off the grid,

so to speak, for a little bit. Possible communication can't reach this place very well. Exactly. Possibly. Plus, maybe we can use to our advantage the fact that Cerberus Assembly members don't really seem to give a fuck about one another. I don't know if I would go that far. I think they probably all loathe each other, some of them,

but I don't think they would take kindly all of them to having their colleagues wiped out. One by one. Anyway, keep your head on a swivel. Oh, wait. Yeah. That's all. What is the plan? What is the plan? What is the plan? Because we came up with a temporary plan that buys us a little bit of time, but... Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah, me neither. What do you mean? We're going to go search for stuff, find Mollymauk, bring him back to his senses, get that book, go back to the service assembly and use it to take down the whole thing. But Lady DeRogna, what do we?

Well, in the short term, we could probably play stupid at our first stop. She's not here, we haven't heard from her. You could try to communicate with her and maybe not be able to reach her or make up her response. She's in your amber, right? Yes. If someone tried to scry like we did on Molly,

would they just see your necklace? Well, she's dead. You can't scry on a dead thing. Yeah. Didn't we? You can? We scryed on Molly. Oh shit. Should I maybe give you your Molly wasn't dead. You can't scry on a dead thing. Yeah. Didn't we? You can? We scryed on Molly. Oh shit. Should I maybe give you your...

Molly wasn't dead. ...pendant back? I scryed on Molly's gravesite. You can scry on a location and you can scry on a creature. Yeah, so you can't scry on a dead person. But if they tried to scry, it wouldn't work. But I thought all of them were protected

against scrying anyway. That's fair. Yeah, but she's dead, and she didn't have anything on her, no items, no. No, she was picked clean. So if somebody starts looking for something that was on her that they knew was there, they wouldn't? They wouldn't find us. Exactly, they would find Molly and Co.

Molly and Co. As long as no one can track the item inside your necklace again, like for the crystal clove. Well, that was a whole other thing entirely, I believe. I can elect crystal clove. Crystal clove. We'll be fine, we'll be fine. Ah, that's nice. Beat poetry. Daddy-o.

All right. How's it going, Dagen? As you guys are cresting up this nearby hill, you can see the light and the skies begin to dim, begin to get the sense that a colder night is to arrive soon, and he goes, I'm keeping an eye out. I think I found a patch where we can go ahead and set up camp out here.

I'll show you all how to live nice and comfortable here in the snow overnight. There's a trick to staying alive in this freezing cold. Come, let me show you. And he lowers the metallic piece down, and you watch as he leans forward and sleds out of view on the other side of the hill. Oh man.

Should we try to keep up? Yep, let's sled. Who's got something? Oh, I got a shield. Last time I did this, it did not work out well. I'm going to sit on the shield. I'm going to put my shield on the ground and sled down. Yeah, go.

Both Jester and Caduceus rush up to the top and then jump on those shields and much faster than you were expecting. Always true. You watch as Dagen comes to the bottom of the hill and he's guiding himself left and right, leaving this zigzag trail. He's done this a lot

and has very, very intense control over it before skidding to a stop at the base of the hill and as he turns around, noticing you guys coming behind on both sides, he goes, shit, and quickly wheels backward. I need both of you guys to make dexterity saving throws for me, please. Oh. I'm going to clock our guide. Natural one. backward, I need both of you guys to make dexterity saving throws for me, please.

Oh. We're going to clock our guide. Natural one. Oh no! Ooh. 19. 19. So you manage to maintain control.

You go spinning and spinning and spinning, but you come to a rest without issue. As Dagen lunges backward out of the way, you skid into the bank where he had ground his wheels into the ground, trying to get out of the way, and as it does, it hits the shield, goes headfirst into this little dirt patch, and you go flying.

You guys all get to the top of the hill and glance over as you watch this impact, and Caduceus gets thrown about 25, 30 feet to the air before his limbs all splayed out on an ice sheet as he just spins, slowly coming to a stop, face down in the snowy ice. I get up and run after Caduceus.

That's something, seeing a seven-foot-tall dude go windmilling. Yep. You take three points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, that's fair. But what about his pride? Oh, that's far more damage. That's gone.

You okay? No. Run over and grab his sun hat and put it back on his head. Can you get, am I on an ice sheet or something, or am I? Do you have a sun hat on? You don't have a sun hat on. Why do you have a sun hat on? You don't have a sun hat on. No. Why do you have a sun hat on?

I've got a winter hat. I don't have, I have a hat, but I wasn't wearing it. You don't have a hat? I do, I have a little thing, but I don't wear it all the time. It's very cold up here, you should probably put it on, Caduceus. It's a little flat cap.

I'm going to fish out a bit of catmint and bring up Cat's Ire and just have the giant cat's claw sit upside down in the snow. Join me? Yes. And we sit down together, and I basically just control the giant cat's claw sit upside down in the snow. Join me? Yes! We sit down together, and I basically just control the upside down claw down through the snow like a slit. Okay, you both lie down. Bye!

To answer your question, Caduceus, and there are some regions of it, especially in small valleys between hills or areas where the land tends to swoop down a bit, a lot of the snow eventually congeals into ice towards the bottom. It's slick. Yeah, it isn't like an open lake or anything,

but you just manage to land in a slick patch of solidified ice and just skid out. I'm going to crawl out of it. All right. Grab my shield. Have you ever tried to run downhill in snow before? Mm-hmm. I want to try something.

Okay. I'm going to take out my skin gorger and use it like a snowboard. That's the worst thing! I'm going to pick it up. A big, rusty blade. What could go wrong? And then head down. All right, as you jump onto it,

your first foot hits, your back foot leans against the back as the blade spits up, almost like you're stepping on the front of a rake. The blade comes up a bit. You put your other leg on the front and then just begin to lean to let the weight hit as you hit the fulcrum point and then

faster than you're expecting, suddenly being carried down at an extreme speed, your hair, you guys just watched Yasha become this blur of black against a white snowscape beneath you. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw, please. Very, very, very sharp weapon. Okay, okay, okay. Oh yeah, that's true.

It's like a missile heading towards our friends. Oh, I have advantage. I have advantage on dex. Caleb, there's a sword coming towards us. We'll just go with that. 15. 15, 15. As you are gliding down, you see that one bit of dirt

that Caduceus' shield is still lodged in, and you go, oh shit, and you pull back a little bit against the back of the blade, and as such, you actually catch the shield as opposed to just digging into the bank. What it does, though, is launch you. Yes. A little bit.

You get some air on Skingorger. Yes! Touch the board. Get some air! Yes! Go, bit. You get some air on Skingorger. Touch the board! Get some air! Yeah! Heel grab? Yeah, heel grab. Or a heel grab, let's do heel grab. There you go. Win the games, brah.

Heel grab. Ah! You, in a surprisingly brilliant display of control, your first time blade boarding. I just picture slow motion over my head. Yeah. Surprisingly brilliant display of control, your first time blade boarding. I just picture slow motion over my head. Yeah. You eventually hit the same patch of ice a little, you know, a number of feet away from Caduceus,

grinding into it before coming to a stop. You can see as the back of the blade, as you're holding it upward, you're actually sending a bunch of ice shavings into the air before eventually coming to a stop. And there is this. I'll do one of those and then get Caduceus all sprayed with ice. There you go.

Click. Caduceus, you are immediately coated in a light layer of shorn ice. Oh, hello. Yasha invented snowboarding, canon. Somebody's not getting shaved ice. I'm going to start collecting some. One, two, three, go. We're just running down the hill.

We're racing because we got shit. Run down an icy hill. You don't have to roll for this. I mean, it's not an easy trek down. You're both eventually going in waist-high snow, like having to grind through, but she's- But it's competitive. It is. She's a monk and she's much faster than you.

Are you allowed to go that? Yes, I do. It's on our character sheet. And so you get about halfway down the hill before you look up and notice that Beau's already at the bottom, like Sonic the Hedgehog, arms crossed, like, clapping her foot. Yes, you do. It's on your character sheet. I lost my shoe. I lost my shoe.

Uh-oh, how far back? It took, you didn't see how long I was sitting there? Oh, I think I see it at the top of the hill, oh no. I'm running it now. That's it. Good job, good run. Yeah, that's good, that's good. If you want to resume your training at any point,

let me know. Oh, I never stopped. It's not ever gotten any better. But yes, maybe we need to increase our reps. Okay, yeah. Oh, I never stopped. I haven't gotten any better. But yes, maybe we need to increase our reps. Okay, yeah. I think I found a place. You guys look over, and this little bit of a,

this valley area of some hills in the nearby space, you can see one of the hills comes to a brief cliff, and there's a tiny alcove underneath it where icicles glide down, these thick icicles that some of them come almost five, six feet long from the edge of the cliff to where they stop, almost giving this weird cage aesthetic to this maybe 12-foot-tall little shaded alcove under this edge of the cliff face. There you can see Dagon is putting one of his sacks over onto the ground next to where he's situated, and he goes,

All right, this will be a place to bed down for the night. We'll go ahead and build a fire, and this will be enough of an area to keep heat for at least a semi-comfortable night's rest so we don't freeze in our sleep. Is the cliff face all ice, or is it stone and ice? As you approach and look, it looks like there is stone and ice. There are elements of exposed stone, but even they have some ice crystal on them, but you could probably melt back or carve back a bit of the ice to eventually get to stone.

Are we camping or are we glamping? We'll probably wait until he goes to sleep, and then we'll go into Caleb's. Well, you've already used your mansion for the day. Oh, wait, what? Is this the same day? This is the the day. Oh, wait, what? Is this the same day? This is the same day. Well, I was going to, I didn't think it was the same day, but I was going to say, I think we should learn something here because we could be without magic.

We're going to be here a great while. Let's see. That's true. How? Okay, if you summoned your mansion, though, is there a possibility that, like, you could summon in the abyss? Oh, right.

I don't know. What if we went in and then we came to step out and all of a sudden we were in another plane? Oh, man, if magic is weird here? Because magic is weird here. Oh, we might want to do a night where we test it. What if we went in and instead of cats, it was like turtles?

That's mad. Fours, it would be a nightmare. You know what we could do? Tomorrow night, when you're able to cast it, we could cast it, we could send Frumpkin in, and then have him come back out and see, like, if he was, like, mutated or something. Yeah, he generally disapparates, you know, in, like, a puff of fake loud, but yeah, the idea is good. Okay. We could do that.

But let's study everything that Dagen does so that we, you know, if we are. We're still doing the dome, though, right? I mean, we're not crazy. Not tonight. Not tonight. Full camping. Full camping. All right. Good call.

Study time. I don't like this. We've done this before. We've done this a lot. Yeah, I don't like it then, either. That's okay, that's fair, yeah. Never this good, though. But I will light my hand on fire and offer to help start a fire for Dagen.

Dagen or Dagon? Dagen. Dagon. Dagon. Dagon, I assume. Yeah, the pronunciations went a little wild last episode, but Dagen. Dagen. It's hard to pronounce. I browse. So Dagen helps situate a space

where you take some of the snow that's in that area and create a slight exterior barrier. It's maybe about a waist or so high. Ooh, I'm going to help with that because I like to build with snow. Okay. Just a little ways out in case the wind does blow through to help cut where it would come through

in case it picks up throughout the night. With your help, you manage to dig a little pit in the ground where it's just dirt, the wet, damp dirt, and begin to set up what you would normally for a fire. You easily provide it, and he's like, Oh, see, that makes it a lot easier. Appreciate the effort.

Once you get the fire going for a bit, you can see it lights up and eventually the water droplets start falling from the icicles overhead that are beginning to melt. But this is a semi-comfortable camping space in the sense that you will have to probably get very close together, and even then, you're half exposed to the elements. And by the time you finish

setting the space up, it has gotten to the point where dusk is long past and there's just a faint bluish purple glow to the clouds above that then turns into absolute darkness beyond the faint bit of firelight that's currently glowing the interior of this space. The temperature noticeably drops even further, and you all instinctually begin to get closer around the fire and to each other, because it is fucking cold out there. But as you all gather, Dagen reaches behind and opens one of his,

and you look at this point now behind him, you've seen it has this cloak over it, this big thick furred cloak that he throws over the back of the chair, but he has all manner of bags, like just this huge collection of saddlebags that are affixed to the back of his chair, and he pulls out this glass jug,

this dark glass jug, and goes, If the fire's not helping you, I got other things to help. What is that? Just... It's good, try it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. It is...

It is... It's ever clear. It's just pure grain alcohol, fire, but it's also weirdly grainy. Like you can feel something in your teeth that grinds a bit. Gross. Yeah, it's not, the texture is odd,

but it definitely does the job. And as he sees your expression, he goes, See, it's not meant to be enjoyable. It's meant to be functional. I can tell. Good, good. Yeah. Anyone else? It warms you up? Yeah, it's meant to be functional. I can tell. Good, good. Yeah. Anyone else? Warm steel? Yeah, warm.

Yeah. I'd be a fool not to. Wait, really? I mean. Okay. You want an ice lacocross? Exactly. Yeah. I take a good slug. It's rough. It's rough. That's fine. Yeah.

Thanks. Why don't you have some of mine? I'll share my flask with Dagen. Do that. Try some of this stuff. I'm much obliged. Dixie, Dixie, Dixie. Now this is some decent dainty stuff.

Not too bad, not too bad. Is that your rosé? No, that's not ready yet. We had to leave before it was ready. Still whiskey. That's right. Your risky is dainty stuff, that's pretty bold. Yeah, yeah, I'll have that one, not the dainty. It is warm.

Yeah. It does, it does. It warms up the chest area. Yeah, I feel it. Yeah, I think I have heartburn issues from now on. From, yeah. Yeah, like forever now. Yeah, yeah, welcome to Isle of Crunch. I've never had a drink that's crunchy. You know? It's like gritty, you know?

Like a little bit of sand got in your teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not normal? Yeah. So I guess I'll be traveling for a while here. Don't mean to ask any questions that are untoward and let me know if I'm trying, because trust me, the less I know, in some cases, the better, but... You want to know which one of us is single?

No, I was curious about what's your business here? I mean, you all work with the Assembly? Are you part of the Assembly? Are you two really in love with me? No, it's no problem. She's drunk. No. You're a real confusing bunch already. We get that.

We're independent contractors. Okay. Yeah. Not associated with any group other than ourselves. All right. See, that's a level I can deal with. It's good to know. We've done business with just about everybody now, at this point. Same. Yeah?

Who's, have you done any business with the Kryn Dynasty folk? Couple of times. Do they come through a lot? I mean, most of my work goes through bailing posts just because they tend to pay consistently, but I've done about two or three gigs now with some Dynasty folk heading over.

They got some sort of back-and-forth ship arrangement on the western shore north of here. Back-and-forth ship, like ferrying people or objects? Both. Both, but yeah, they generally keep to themselves. Not too much conversationalists and, you know. Then again, neither is most of the folk

the Assembly sends, which is why I'm a little curious. You're a little more colorful than the usual suspects. Thank you. Kind of curious about the usual suspects. Ever work with the Tomb Takers? Tomb Takers, can't say I have. What about other members of the Assembly?

This would be my second round with Vess. Sorry, with Lady DeRogna. Did one run for some fella, an older elvish fella about a year ago. Stern, Stern-type. Yeah, yeah. an older elvish fella about a year ago. Stone. Stone-type. Yeah, yeah. Martin something. Ludinus? The Martinet. Martinet, that's the one.

He's good people. No, he's not. No. That's terrible. None of them are good people. Yeah, I assumed as such, but then again, I'm not here for the company, I'm here for the money. There's one guy, he likes animals, he's okay,

but everybody else seemed kind of shady. What was the martinet poking about for up here? He was coming to oversee the initial discovery of the A2 on your map there. Oh, was there something special they found at A2? I don't know, I haven't been deep into any of these excavations. I'm not much of a delver, I'm more of just a surface guide.

And what was Vess looking for on the last run you went on with her? We were surveying all the existing ones currently on this map. Or other than that one to the east. The A question mark? Yeah. Haven't been to that one, necessarily.

But you've been to all the others? Been to a number of them, yeah. Yeah. And what are they like? Just ruins or holes or mines? I mean, each one of the ones, for the most part, seem to be subterranean. You know, the sheets of ice and rock above

and someone stumbles upon a cave or digs deep enough and finds something. You know, a number of, say, about a, I don't know, decade or more ago, there was a subtle gold rush, if you will, northward, and people just started poking around with more interests up here. And that's when I made my way, originally, to try and find some work,

and it's been fairly steady ever since. But yeah, I don't go much far beneath the surface, because it gives me the willies. It takes another swig. Who is the worst person you've ever escorted? Is it one of us? Give it time. Only been a day, friend.

There was this rowdy bunch, Soryn, yeah, Uthodurnian folk. So I think I told you, that's where I came from, and I don't know, too boisterous, too loud when you're trying to make your way across landscape like this, you want to keep quiet. Just a bunch of fucking dwarves singing about what they had for breakfast,

about what they had for lunch. Tales of mysteries to the north. I mean, they had beautiful voices, but they just wouldn't shut the fuck up. One day we got ambushed and I got torn apart. I was the only survivor. So, la la la la la. I just feel bad for the poor halfling they dragged along.

Oh. Wow. That's canon. Oh, man. So I say they were the worst. But you got tagged. Okay. Do you remember where they fell and if that halfling had anything around his neck?

Didn't stick around to find out. Okay, well. If I see any familiar territory, I'll let you know. Okay. All right, all right. It's crazy how those mountains up there just look so misty and like... Oh boy. Trick or the lie. Oh boy.

That was bad. In your experience, the wildlife out here, are they more prone to hunt in daylight hours or are they more nocturnal? Depends on the beast. Right. Here's the thing. When game is scarce,

it matters whatever wanders in your space. You'll hunt whether day or night. True, I would hear a tale of other sailors mentioning how animals would cross glaciers and floating bits of ice for miles just to get to the nearest thing that moved. Not everything hunts for food. What else would it hunt for?

Sport. Animals? Nature. Oh, I don't think he's talking about animals. Oh. There are many more things than animals in these parts. Than monsters. Some that sneak, some that run, some that fly, some that run, some that fly,

some that burrow. Oh yeah, no, you found yourself to the ass end of Exandria, yeah. Just be thankful you got me with you. Will we be extinguishing our flame at night or going dark? Well, uh. Let's take it.

We're not going to keep it stoked if that's what you're worried about, but you're going to need the heat, I'd say, a little more than you're going to be worried about being seen. That's why we're tucked in here. For the most part, we'll be all right. I'm so sorry.

This has been very entertaining, sharing a drink with you, and educational, how you've built this little lean-to, and the fire is great, but this is a lot colder than I anticipated, so I begin to start ritual casting the dome, and I will fill in the little cave. What happened to this being like a learning?

Yeah, I learned, I saw what he did. I saw the setup, it's gold. Here, here. And I pull out the Rod of Hand Warming. Are you so cold? Yeah, this is like it's a book, and it's only in the first few chapters. It keeps your chest warm. And I pull out the Rod of Hand Warming. Are you so cold? You can use the rod. Yeah, it's a book. It's only in the first few chapters. It keeps your chest warm.

Good to finish the book. There is no meat on my bones. You can use this. Hug it to your chest. Do you want my jacket? No. Okay. You can do this. Okay.

Much like the younger brother in Christmas Story, Caleb is now suffused in layers. Ooh, a zeppelin, that's mine. Hey, this is going to suck, all right? It's going to suck all night. Anyone having a problem falling asleep, let me know so I can help with that. What, are you just going to choke us out or what?

Just a little dream tea? I can do about an hour of protection from energy, which will make the cold not hurt so much. Yeah. So you can fall asleep properly. I'll take that. Yeah, sure. I can only do one at a time.

I can do you both. Oh, good. Thanks. Dagen, is there an unwritten code among you guides that you're not allowed to fall for the people that you guide? Jesus Christ. Or if you do, that you're not allowed to kiss on the mouth or anything like that?

So, Moria. Why are you asking? I'm just trying, I'm curious about you and your occupation. Have you ever fallen in love with anybody that you're guiding? Have you ever had an affair with anybody that you're guiding, like you ever had an affair with anybody that you're guiding, like a secret love affair?

With all of his snuggling by fire to keep warm. No, of course not! Look around you, it's a fucking frozen hellscape. You might want to cuddle it, mate, to keep warm. I'll cuddle to keep warm, yeah, but just it's physical only. Well, that's okay, too. Yeah. Okay.

Sometimes. Look, you do what you do to survive, and fringe benefits come with that, that's okay, too. Yeah. Okay. Sometimes. Look, you do what you do to survive, and fringe benefits come with that, that's fine, too. But emotion doesn't key into this. That's what I was saying, you guys have an unwritten code. It starts as just a physical thing, but then slowly over the weeks that you're guiding them, you just realize, like, oh my gosh,

I think I might have feelings for them, but they can't let them know, you know, because there's an unwritten code, and then it gets awkward, and then long glances, you know? And then at the end of the trip, you settle up your wages and put them on a ship back to wherever they came from. And it's so tragic.

And they wipe a tear, and you wipe a tear, and you don't know if you'll ever see each other again. And then you have to pretend, you have to pretend for the rest of your life that it didn't mean anything. You take that pocket of coins and as you spend them, it's just one more memory going away. Hey, Dagen, are we the worst ones yet?

Getting real close. What was their name? Takes a big swig of the jug, puts it back Matt goes, I'm going to get to sleep. He goes ahead and unbuckles himself from the chair and sets himself down in his little bundle of furs. Hold on, man.

I'm really invested in this story now. I know. Where did she go? There isn't a story. He's hiding something. He's got it. I'm not hiding anything and I can hear you! We're real close! Oh my god,

you know who it was? Who? It was Sheila! Oh! And now. He stays absolutely silent. We'll get to the bottom. We'll slowly break him down. We've got a few more dents. I'll take first watch,

and I will summon the Star Razor, and I will cast See Invisibility to see if there are any wandering orbs or things that are following us or keeping track of where we are. Okay. I will have Frumpkin, I will not take the first watch, but I will have Frumpkin keep Fjord company and help look. Okay. Thank you.

All right. It's fucking cold, y'all. About two hours into your first watch, the temperature seems to keep dropping, and it's hard to sleep. You are finding yourselves, occasionally waking yourself up with your body's muscles shaking to maintain interior warmth. This is terrible, and this is the first night You are finding yourselves, occasionally waking yourself up with your body's muscles shaking

to maintain interior warmth. This is terrible, and this is the first night here. You've got going on two weeks of travel before you get to the destination of Aeor's central excavation. Make a perception check for me. 22. 22. Okay.

You keep watch for a bit, keep an eye out. You go ahead and use your sea invisibility and look out into the darkness. And it's odd because, once again, you have the very faint embers of fire that everyone, you watch slowly, just crawl closer to as they need the heat, subconsciously, until it's just kind of this

tangled fire pit of furs and people trying to survive. And you're kind of wedged in there with your sword. It's a faint glow off the runes as you look off into the darkness. And every now and then you see just faint bits of snow that fall in and then melt before they hit the darkness. Every now and then, you see faint bits of snow that fall in and then melt before they hit the ground. This faint little arcane glow appears at the periphery of your vision,

about 10 feet away in the darkness. Just look off, play it real cool. Caleb. Wake up. What? What time is it? I'm sorry to wake you. Do you smell that? Do I smell it? Yeah, that just smells like rotting eyes.

I go blind and drop into Frumpkin, and Frumpkin tipples up to the little snow wall and starts to just wee a little bit. Do I see anything? No. Okay. Didn't really have a plan for what happened if I noticed. Smell that.

No. So, everything's quiet then, yeah? Pretty good. I think we're making good time towards the most eastern location that we're heading to. That one as far east as we're on the map that we have.

Oh, well, we could certainly go far. Do I see anything when I look in that direction? No. No. We could probably go farther. Yeah. Well, that's it. Don't really know what else to do. Don't know that I can go back to sleep now, Fjord.

Yes. Yes. I will actually, I'll walk out slowly, casually, in the direction of the sphere. Okay, it's only a couple feet like off from where Jester's sleeping. Hmm. I'll keep walking until I'm

about what height is it in the air like up in the air head height it's about head height yeah I'll just do that thing where you're like you're just acting like you don't see it and I'll try and get as close to it as possible and see if it moves okay it doesn't move

it's been stationary the entire time since it appeared. And it's... It's just a sphere, right? It's just this tiny, translucent, kind of gently pulsating arcane sphere that's almost like... It's made of immaterial and energy.

And you just barely can see it. And it's drifting about three feet out from where Jester's sleeping, and it's about five feet, a little over five feet off the ground. Is it similar to the orbs that were in the house when he saw? Yes, it's actually pretty dang close

to the spheres that you saw back in the Xhorhaus. I'll lean in close to where it is, and I won't look at it, but I'll say... You were in the amulet, too, dude. What's that? You were in my amulet, which dispelled those things before. That's true.

He's wearing the amulet that dispels crime. I think it just hides me. I know, but we had instances where it... You are hidden from divination magic. You cannot be targeted by such magic or perceived through magical scrying sensors. Right, but it's not looking at me. I'll lean close to it and say,

it seems like we're not the only ones watching. If you try to harm my friends, we will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. Keep your distance. And I'll walk back. Okay. You're attuned to that necklace? I am. Okay. Yeah, I took off the Ring of Fire resistance. SAM and LAURA laugh.

Someday someone will inherit that ring, though, and it'll be really meaningful. Look, we're a long way away from the lava, okay? There's still time. SAM and LAURA laugh. Okay. You watch it as you sit back down. Then eventually it just vanishes.

I'll go back over to Caleb and say, there was another scrying sphere, eye. Someone is watching. Oh, great. Take your pick on who wants us dead. The Empire? The Dynasty? Molly?

Molly? My money is on the tiefling. Our scent, he said. Scent? A blood? A blood, maybe. Do you have any idea how to counteract that? Blood magic?

Well, if it's that, no, I do not. Gods, it's cold. It is. All right, I'll keep an eye out. Okay, for the remainder of your watch, nothing else catches your attention. Second watch, who's taking it? Okay, both of taking it? Okay.

Both of you guys roll perception. Good. 14. 12. Okay. You guys catch the point in the evening where the deepest cold hits. When your breath, even amongst the embers, which have slowly died to this faint source

of orange dull glow, in this pitch black though, it still is enough light that your eyes adjusted. You can make up the shape of your friends around it, and you can trick yourself into believing that the heat there is still useful. But your breath now becomes a perpetual fog in front of you. You can feel the edge of your nose go numb, and beyond this little alcove,

the faint snow still falling, the wind picks up ever so slightly, but you don't notice anything else in danger. Nothing else beyond just the weather and the terrible discomfort. I crawl over and tuck under Caduceus' arm, squeak and snuggle. Got to cloak, we cloak.

This is awful. Someone once said pain is good for you. Who said that? I don't know. They're terrible people. They're horrible. We should make sure that Caleb uses the dome from now on. I respect the learning experience, and I feel like we've all learned a lot. I feel more mature now.

Oh, you seem more mature. Thank you. All right. We'll save for the purposes of the evening. The rest of the morning light begins to come in. I would like everyone to make a constitution saving throw for me, please. Saving throw? Yes.

Everyone? Everyone. Natural 20. Same! 25. Nice! 16. 16. Okay. Nine.

19. 18. Damn, look at you guys rolling high, except for you, Sam. You take a point of exhaustion. Okay. Exhaustion, one. Love your transmuter stone.

Except he did at the beginning of the night, have protection from energy. For one hour. For one hour. It won't undo the exhaustion if I cast it again on her. No. Protection from energy again.

No, the exhaustion is there. It's a whole night of very tenuous sleep in a very harsh environment that caused it. But nevertheless, as you guys all come to consciousness, you see that Dagen is already situated up in his chair and is currently set the fire up a little bit and is cooking up what smells like some decent meat. You look over and he has a little like cast iron skillet out there

and he's kind of blowing on the flames as he's holding it over there, his kind of thick grizzled hand holding it, and you can see the edges of it beginning to curl and burn. I told Caleb this last night, but we had someone watching us. There was a scrying sphere in the air. Oh, that's some bullshit.

Yes. Who'd be scrying on you? Well, that's a great question. I'm not sure if it was an enemy or a friend, but Jester, it was located where you were. Perhaps it's the gentleman, or perhaps it's... I don't think he can do it. It sounds like Lucien,

because she's scryed on him and he knows her now. Could be anyone from the Assembly. Does Lucien know her now, though, from the scrying spell? But didn't he say to her that, thank you for... Well, no, he wouldn't have seen me. He would have seen, like, a little ball, you know? Yeah, but maybe he has some magic that can backtrace it. I mean, he said when you scryed on him last,

thank you for leading me to you or something like that. Yeah, he said he caught our scent. He is also covered in eyes. Seems to be a motif. Blood magic? Yeah. Probably. Does anyone else?

If that happens again, just wake me up. I can dispel it. I gave someone blood ages ago. Was that you? It was the gentleman. What happened to that blood? I think he still has it. No, the gentleman gave it to me.

I have it. I have all of our blood. Yeah. See? Oh, at least we know it's not that. Wait, I thought, didn't the Kree? Kree, yeah, she drew the blood. Didn't she draw blood out? She drew our blood and gave the vree? Kree, yeah, she drew the blood. Didn't she draw blood out? She drew our blood and gave the vials to my dad, and I took our vials from him.

What, she didn't keep any for herself? That she could have, but, you know. Make an investigation check, Jester. All the vials are empty. Just never noticed. They're cramped. Yeah. While everyone's debating,

Caleb holds his hand out and uses Control Flame, and I make the bonfire grow two feet and a little hotter. Awesome. Dagen goes, oh shit! Don't worry, it's good. Holds it up top. 12. 12? I mean, it's hard to tell.

The amount you have in the vials is not a lot, but you have a hard time really recalling how much was taken. Could be all of it. You don't know. Huh. I think they were almost full, if I remember correctly. Interesting. Why, do you know anything about blood magic?

No. Oh, good, yep. Oh, well, wait, no. Cool. But if it was hovering near Jester, that implies that it's someone who has recently been thinking about Jester. When you do that, when you scry on someone, you can only see that person.

You know, like, you go in and you see them and you can see the things very close. Like if I was reading a book, they would see that I was reading a book, but they would have to really focus to try to see what book I was reading. You know what I mean? So it has to be focused on me if the ball was near me,

unless I was lying close to anybody else, but I mean, still, if it was close to me. If this happens again, perhaps we should have some sort of code word where Fjord can say, like... I'm terrible at my job. Artichokes. Yep. And you can then start spouting off incorrect knowledge

about our destination or something like that. Mm-hmm. We also have to do a little test and see if anything happens in the mansion. I think that might be off limits. Maybe. Maybe. Oh, right.

Mani is still on the tiefling, though, because if you were the focus, it's possible anyone could have been looking at you, but who at the Assembly would focus on you? Who in the Dynasty would focus on you? Someone with very good taste in people. Thank you very much. I mean, he looked back at you

last time that you scryed. All he could see was a ball, you know what I mean? Like, four, you wouldn't see. You think. I don't have nine eyes tattooed on me. I just saw the... What would I have looked like if he could see me in the little ball?

Do you think it would be like a fish eye? Yeah. I know. Would you have seen my facial reactions as he was talking to me? Because I didn't think anybody could see, you know, so I wasn't being... You were sleeping with your mouth open, if it's any consolation.

Was I drooling? Oh, it's frozen. That's interesting. Well, I don't know nothing about blood magic or whatever the fuck y'all are tied up in. Sounds real complicated, but I got some bacon. Bacon? It's not real bacon, it's wolf bacon,

but it's similar texture. Wolf bacon. So there's actually a pretty solid slab here. He's like, I figured this would be a nice way to welcome you after your first night out in the plains. Everyone sleep okay? Oh. We did it.

Tomorrow night may be better. Like frozen log. It's not going to get better, so tuck up. Lesson, yes, hard lesson learned. All the wise explorers. Seasoned travelers. So much character. So much. Built last night. Hard lesson learned, otherwise, for us, seasoned travelers. So much character. So much. Built last night.

Just barely slept. Good, good. Push-offs of character. It's early, we should get moving. He goes ahead and pushes some dust over towards the flame and he says, if you don't mind lowering it a bit. Do you want to get rid of it or just to bring it down? Get rid of it.

I extinguish it completely with a wave of my hand. Oh, that's easy, and he wipes the ash into his palm on his arm and goes, all right, get our stuff. He puts all the things in the back of his chair. Ready to go? Yeah. All right. Follow me.

Come on, Sheila. And begins wheeling outside of the alcove and heading back into the plains. Now, I would like somebody to roll another d20 for me, please. Who rolled the d20? I did it last time. Okay, you're up. I'm doing it. Don't fuck me, Gil. Ah!

15. 15. You travel for about four or so hours You travel for about four or so hours into the cold expanse. The snowfall is still gentle, but the temperature is still freezing. And now that your body has spent an evening in the elements,

it seems to cut even deeper than it should. Uncomfortable as it is, Caduceus and Beauregard. Uncomfortable as it is, Caduceus and Beauregard. Oh shit. You both keep an eye a little ways to the northwest of where you are, and you see something protruding from the snow that has a texture unlike the surrounding rock.

Dagen, is that normal? That thing? Dagen? Dagen. You can call me whatever you want, it's fine. Oh, Dagen. I mean, looks like a rock. Does it? Does it look like a landmark or like a...

Is it moving at all? Yeah. It's pretty stationary to me. Want me to go check? Ugh. What does everybody think? Starts making his way over. Oh, never mind. Let's keep up.

Yep. Don't separate the party. Okay, as you get closer, you see what looks to be an ice-coated column that's protruding about six feet from the rest of the surrounding ground at an odd angle, like a weird... Ruin? Like monolithic ruin-like column that's just sticking out a bit.

Okay, let's go over. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Is this one charted? Is it on a map anywhere? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we find a ruin? Is this an excavation site? I don't think so. We've been heading north from Balenposts. Well, there could be things that are not on that map.

Uncharted. He's been talking to you guys a little close to the mountain to try and keep from being way out open in the plane. He's like, I mean, I've, I have something. Sure, I pass this time again, but generally don't poke too close. Detect magic. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Casting Detect Magic. There is a faint magical aura about four feet beneath the snow surface where it's poking out of. And it has a fairly strong necromantic aura to it. Ooh. Detect undead.

No sense of undead. Detect everything else. Detect narrative plot point. There's something weird with a undead necromantic vibe about four feet underneath this thing. How far away is it from us right now? From where Dagen stopped making his advance towards it, it's about 15 feet.

Oh, 15 feet. 15, 20 feet from the edge. That's not far. This is all snow, right, man? Is this dirt, rock snow, or just snow? It's just snow around you, especially after a night of snowfall. As you step through, your feet occasionally find frozen ground beneath and stone,

you know, where the ice and snow packs through eventually. Do we want to maybe melt? Yeah, with sacred flame or something? Before we do that, the column, what does the column look like? Does it have markings? Is it just brick, stone? Do you go in and, okay.

Let's go, we go. Keep some distance. You go in and get closer and you can see it has this faint scrolling across the surface. It just looks like a rough stone texture, but the closer you get, especially you three, you can see there's these almost geometric lines that connect around it.

And there are these little carved small spaces. On the pillar. On the pillar itself, yeah. The lines are on the pillar? Correct. They're like carved in it. The lines are on the pillar? Correct. They're like carved in it. Or just arcane in general? You get the sense with your experience that these type of designs can be used

to connect elements of arcana. Or it could be just design work inspired by. Yeah. And do the spaces look like damage to the pillar or reliefs that an object might exhibit? Make an investigation check for me. This thing's giving me the eebie-jeebies. 22.

22. You can tell, as you get a bit closer and look over it, that there were a number of settings in this that once held stones or something smooth and round. There are multiple places in these designs where these, that once held stones or something smooth and round. There are multiple places in these designs where these, of different sizes it seemed, though still roughly around the size of a gold piece, where these stones were inset.

But now you look on the outside and you can see bits where the stone has been carved and chipped, where somebody has probably pried them out. Anything left behind? Within that space? In any of the spaces. Any of those spaces that are visible right now? No, they're all in. Maybe beneath this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's start melting the snow around it a little bit. Is it icy or snow? I mean, it's snow on top, but if you start getting close enough to dig underneath, about a foot of snow leads to just solid ice. Okay. Before we dive into this, remember what Dagen told us that...

Sometimes scavenging isn't worth it. Isn't worth it, right. Sometimes it's a... So before we start. Yeah, but I mean, we're going to start. This is not a dead body. I did actually say that. You did say that it was very, you were very drunk, but it was, this is not a good body. I did actually say that. You did say that. You were very drunk,

but it was very wise. It was. Usually the two work well together. Yeah, I agree. But I think before we go into this, how long are we going to spend time on this before we decide to move on? No.

I'd be okay with no more than an hour. No more than an hour. No more than an hour. Maybe it's not like an entrance anywhere. Maybe there's just like a pillar. It's just a marker. These things can be rabbit holes. They can keep going for forever.

It depends on what's worth it. Why are we here? There's something about four feet down and it's giving me a bit of a bad vibe. It could be an extra stone, you know, just underneath. And Caleb, you couldn't read any of these markings, right? That's not a language. I assume I would have been able to.

That's my sight. Make an arcana check. You don't have to cast anything anymore? You can just read things and... Yeah. Well, I mean, I have done a lot of study for a long time. How many languages do you speak? Uh, four.

Yeah, but one of them speak Latin. 24. 24. I can speak five. I know more languages than you do. Oh, you're so smart! Okay, it's not a competition. Best you can assess, these designs are meant to connect different arcane power sources.

What bits of equation work have been woven into the stonework is a little out of your specialty. The language being used is some variation of Draconic that you can get the essence of, but it's like somebody took the language you're familiar with and began making their own kind of pig Latin version of it. Well, let me, everybody, take a breather.

Let me try something. I spend ten minutes and do some muttering and wave a bit of soot and salt in the air and cast Comprehend Languages and take another look. Okay. It helps a little bit. These are less, it's less of a written language and more of an arcane equation language,

if that makes sense. So it doesn't give you information regarding any speech or ideas that are come across, but what you are able to ascertain is this pillar was used, while it has a strong necromantic aura that he figured out, all of the geometry around it has a heavy abjuration feel to it. Some sort of defensive protective magic, as of design, though all the gems that are visible appear to be missing.

We're standing on a tomb. Could be. What is abjuration stuff? What is abjuration stuff? Oh dear, that's the protection. You're a magic user, you know all about this stuff. But you think, no, the Traveler doesn't tell me what kind of magic I'm using.

He's just like, here, here's some magic. You can use it to change your appearance. I don't know what it is. That's fair. Yeah. It's very true. Hi. What do you think, Caleb? Well, it's to keep people out of something.

I don't know if it's a door or a tomb or a gate. It sucks. I always want to see what they want us to keep out of. Let's go. You want me to try to chip away some of the area? I mean, I am a fan. No, no, no, not that. We could melt the ice. Yeah. out of gold. You want me to try to chip away some of the iron? No, no, no, not that. We could melt the ice.

Yeah. What are we talking about? We could melt it because it didn't snap. Do it, melt it. Melt the ice at least. I'd help with the snow clearing brigade. What, with your hand? Dagen goes,

Let's be safer then, back up a little. All right, let's back up. All sorts of interesting, and then wheels his way a safe distance from what you guys are doing. Got you on deck. Like 50 feet back. Back up, back up, back up.

So I take out the catmint again and Frumpkin floats in front of me for a moment and then vanishes and there's a gigantic catclaw and the claw just goes and just starts digging huge heaps of snow. And you watch as the arcane catclaw begins to just carve into the ice and pull it away in chunks as it breaks and cracks

and grinds it to the sides like a terrifying, arcane, what are they called? Cat? Sure, yeah. I was going to say like the ice chisel machines. Anyway. Snowcat. Snowcat.

Snowcat. Goddamn it. Snorkeling. Snorkeling. There you go. A short time, you begin to pull away all the snow and ice, begin to reveal more of the pillar. And about five or so feet down, you can see where a lot of these grooves all begin to come to a little larger than a fist-sized, smooth, emerald-like gem

that still remains affixed into this pillar. little larger than a fist-sized, smooth, emerald-like gem that still remains affixed into this pillar. Are you still getting a read on that from this instance? It's 10 minutes, we're long gone. Hold on. But my guess is that's where I was reading. It's just in the ice? No, it's in the pillar.

It's in the pillar. It's one of the stones that didn't get taken out. I think everyone that pulls a gem out just dies. All right, I'm going to get within 30 feet of it and I will cast Detect Magic. Okay. Very strong necromantic energy emanating from this gem. Oh boy. Totally take it.

I can go grab it just with one hand if we need to. No, I wouldn't. We're going to have to chip it out. Yeah, it would not be easy to remove. It would need to be worked to be removed. This is literally the stupidest thing we should be doing. We should just keep going, right? This pivoted the entire campaign one,

but we are fucking with it right now. Yeah, yeah, we should just go. The necromancy thing. Just keep going, right? It would need to be worked. How long have we been working? How long have we been working? How long have we been here? 20, 30 minutes? Oh, at the pillar, I'd say about 20 minutes. Yeah, we got 40 minutes.

Is the juice worth the squeeze? Well, you got like a mage hand, right? Is the juice. Sure. That's not going to be able to pry something out. Could it take a dagger and work like that? I'm going to try another thing. Everyone back up. Again, come back 50 feet, 50 feet. Yeah, but I'm going to try another thing. Everyone back up again, come back 50 feet, 50 feet.

50, five, zero. Yeah, and I start waving my hands in the air and will reach out with my hand and use telekinesis to pull the gem out. Okay, go ahead and make a... And there goes our wizard. It would be a strength check, if it gives you a strength value in telekinesis, or you would use your...

I think it's my DC. You can try to move an object that weighs up to 1,000 pounds. If it isn't being worn or carried, you automatically move it up to 30 feet in any direction, but not beyond the range of the spell. If the object is worn or carried by a creature, you must make an ability check. Correct.

Contested by the creature, you must make an ability check. Correct. Contested by the creature's strength check. Right, so go ahead and roll an intelligence check. So roll a d20 and then add your intelligence modifier. 12. 12. As the telekinesis pulls on it, it does not come free. However, it begins to pulse slightly.

Woof, woof. There is this darkened shockwave that in a split second heads out for 60-foot radius. Oh, we're 50 feet away! We're 50 feet back. Yep. I want to make a constitution saving throw, please. Oh my god. All right.

We've learned nothing in five fucking years. Who drugged the day out of Aspharna? Did we all just die to this TPK? I'm guessing. Constitution saving throw. Yes, please. 22. 22. 19. Nice. 14. 22. 22. 19.

Nice. 14. 14. 22. All right. 17. 16. All right, so... Raise your hand if you got over,

if you got 18 or higher. All right. Uh-oh. You roll the other half of this. I love you all. The other half of this. It's been a joy. It's been a pleasure. This was worth it. It's nothing. It's nothing in the middle of nowhere.

It's 15 out of 20 options. So Yasha, Jester, and Fjord, you all take 26 points of necrotic damage. I'm resistant, so. So you take half that. Okay. 26. We're about to take 52 points of damage. The rest of you take 52 points of necrotic damage.

Oh my god! Hey, at least you're not dead, but we're all cursed. Dagen also takes that. Whoa! One, two, three, four. Matt, cursed. Dagen also takes that. Oh! One, two, three. Matt, it's Dagen. Sorry. Dagen. You guys are fucking me up.

Holy shit. Do you want us to die out here? I don't even remember what I said it as now. It's gone around so much now that it's just an amorphous name. I made it Dagen, Dagen, Dagen. Pretty sure it's last. It's Dagen. That's probably why. I remember it being not Dagon, so it's Dagen.phous name. I made a dag and dag and dag. Pretty sure it's last. It's Dajun. That's probably why.

I remember it being not Dagon, so it's Dagon. Right, I was trying to make it as far away from Dagon as possible, and then I don't remember what I said it as, and now it's just whatever. If it's loosely near the name, he'll answer to it at this point. I'm sure he's heard all sorts of variations of it.

I'm going to call him Dagoon. Dagoon. Dagoon. So, you all hear this high-pitched, screaming whine as this shockwave of dark energy just emanates from it around. And you feel it tear through your body, like someone just punched through your soul

for a brief second. Your breath is knocked from you. Your vision goes black for but a second before suddenly you all inhale together as once and fall to your knees coughing. You see Dagen's in his chair like, Whoa! All right, like I said, don't do that shit!

I warned you! You even brought it up! I'm staying up. I'm getting way back next time. Caleb says, not even loud enough for anyone to hear. Are we the worst? Yeah! Yeah, you are! Dagen hear, are we the worst? Yeah! Yeah, you are!

Dagen's alive, though, right? Yeah, he's alive. Dagen's alive, but Dagen died. Oh no, the sprinkle! Okay, he's fine. Oh, the sprinkle. You got to remove it by diamond ready. We just survived Chernobyl.

You look back and the gem is just there where it was before. Oh, it's still there? Yeah. Like, if you don't successfully remove it. Yeah, we haven't done shit to it. Well, let's get it again. No!

We'll just go farther back. Yeah, we just get, like, you know, further away. What, why though? Can anybody tell me why? Because we can have it. I walk back 12 feet. I'm 62 feet back. 62 feet, okay.

I mean, yeah, I go back 70 feet, that's pretty safe. I'm going to take 10 minutes and I'm going to cast a healing spell for everyone who's really, I can do six feet. So stupid. We have crazy shit on a map north of us. We should just go. We should. We're doing this anyway,

because everyone's hurt. Yeah, but what if we need this? We don't. That's not going to do anything. Here's the thing. Your telekinesis spell only lasts for 10 minutes. So if you're going to try this again, you either have to let it,

you're going to wait for Caduceus to do this. Just back up and do it again. What are you going to do? Are you going to try it again? What's your rate? I was making sure I wasn't dying. I wasn't even paying attention. Try it again. I'll do a cure. You want me to do it again. What are you going to do? Are you going to try it again? What's the raid? I was making sure I wasn't dying. I wasn't even paying attention. Try it again. I'll do a cure.

You want me to pull? I want you to try it again. What's the raid on your telekinesis? What's the raid? It's exactly 60 feet. Oh, then no. Yeah, yeah, just like. Yeah, no, but heal him. No, no, no, he's fine.

So he's not going to die. No, you need to heal me. Wait, how does that work, though? Turn into a T-Rex. How does that work? If he's exactly 60 feet, will he still get hit? He, there's one way to find out. Yeah. I don't have the Cure Wounds prepared. Oh my god.

I will, I will, at 5th-level, cast Cure Wounds on Caleb. Okay. That's so sweet. I'm mad. While this is's so sweet! I'm mad. While this is all going on, I'm going to step back and just start casting Prayer of Healing.

Raise your hand if you really need it. I can take five. I do! One, two, three, four. And you. Use it yourself. I'm using my, I'm the sixth, so. Oh. One, two. That's all of us. 29 points of healing.

29. Use Yasha. sixth, so. Oh. One, two. Well, that's all of us. 29 points of healing. 29. Use Yasha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So everyone gets 10 minutes. In 10 minutes. Nothing goes terribly wrong, and I've backed up. Are you trying it again, or are you? I'm going to. Yeah.

Everybody's back except Caleb, right? Yeah, just me. I'm going to put a little English on this. 27 points of healing. Hold that, not yet. Yeah. Not yet. Okay, wait, I'm going to do... No. Okay.

Okay. So here's what I'm going to do. Everyone's like 70 or 80 feet or 90 feet away. 61 feet away. I'm going 80 feet away. So I'm going within 50 feet, and I look at it, and then I start running away from it while looking at it, and then I cast it and I jump. Oh my god.

Inertia, inertia! Okay, I need you to roll two things for me. I need you to roll an intelligence check, which is roll a d20 and add your intelligence modifier. Oh, that's an eight. Oh no! Okay. The gem doesn't go anywhere, and then another shockwave.

Roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage because you're not watching where you're running. Okay. Oh god. Oh, one was a 20 on that same die, but a four on the other. Four. Oh no! Wait, wait, wait. As you're running. Plus two, it's a six. It's a six!

Six, you turn, huh, it doesn't work! You go to jump and your foot just hits a big old chunk of ice, and you just skid on the ground, and then the shockwave hits you a second time. No, no. I need you to roll another constitution save with it for me, Caleb. Oh no, what have you done?

That's better, oh, it's much better, much better. Yeah, that's going to clear it. That's a 17, 21. 21. We're going to try it one more time, right? We have to. We got to get this thing. Oh my god. Okay, so you do succeed,

which means you only take 24 points of necrotic damage. Okay, okay. Are you okay? And then a minute after that, sorry, I forgot. As you get back up, It was what? 27. the inside of your whole body just vibrating

and pulsing with this deep-set pain, like an aching bone bruise, but it's all over. Your eyes are bloodshot. Now, the vessels in your eyes have, in some places, burst, and now the whites of your eyes are deep red. Shit. All the veins in your neck are bulging right now, and you hear Dagen go,

What's wrong with you?! But Caleb gets up and he takes his coat off in the cold, and he throws it down 70 feet away. Yeah, now it's a point of problem. He rolls up his sleeves. Let's go! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Take your 27. Now I'm far away from it. Take your 27. I just felt that I'm going to

enhance ability. And, uh... It won't work. No, no, no. New does not mean better, and I pull out catmint and I make Cat's Eye appear again, which goes 120 feet and is a lot stronger than Telekinesis contested, and the hand flies out and grabs it

and pulls from very far away. Okay. 80 feet away. Okay. 90 away. Okay. 80 feet away. Okay. 90 feet. Okay. 100 feet away. Okay, okay. Go ahead and make your- I came up running backward and we all just keep up with him. What are you doing?

I grab his coat. It has a strength of 26. Okay, so go ahead and roll a d20 and then add- Plus eight, according to the spell. Yeah, be a plus eight modifier. I pass the flask to Yasha as I watch. Ooh, 26! 26? Yeah, just take it.

The gem does not come free. Oh my god. It doesn't come free! Another energy pulse comes off of it, catching, thankfully, nobody in the radius. He makes a snowball. Throws it! It falls halfway there.

Yeah, that's just not coming free through physical means, it seems. But I want a necromantic emerald. For what? You didn't- I could put a bomb in it and blow it up. Wait, okay. None of us knew this thing existed 20 minutes ago.

I'm ready to walk away. Yasha, can't you just walk up and dispel it? Caduceus. Oh yeah, with your sword. Yeah. I am not having Yasha walk up and hit it with her sword! As everyone's having this conversation, and you're just looking around, you see through the ice and things

that have been pulled back. There's bones. Detect undead. No undead. Okay. Just dead. Just dead dead. Just all the other people. Just really dead. But there's a, you get the sense a lot of people

have gone through this exact process. Oh wow. The other idiots. Okay. The other people that rolled 15. But somebody got some of the stones. I think those might not have been the same stones. This is the papa. I think these are the people who are trying to get this stone.

I think they had a bad day. Should I? I'm ready to walk away. We're terrible at this game. How long has it been? We are terrible at this game. At this point, about 45 minutes. You guys have 15 more minutes. Should I try to pick up? Can I look at some of the bones?

Are there any, you know, stuff on the body? You have to dispel it first, if you can. I don't even know how that shit works. Just don't be point blank. You look and what bone shards are being exposed look to be like, you know, arm bones. And we're talking, you know, hubris and femurs and parts of ribs that are all encased in ice

that was then broken and pulled away by the cat's claw to reveal this pillar. This pillar's been here a while, and it looks like some folks who have found it in the past got greedy and went a little further towards the base of the pillar. And at first glance, looking around, make an investigation check for me.

Got greedy. Seven. That spells out everything. You gather, based on the bone fragments here, there's at least four corpses. Wow. Just in the cat's claw pulled aside debris. You don't see anything of worth that isn't visible. The rest of it's just thick ice.

He's like, I don't know what else to tell you. He's like, I wrote honeypot on a sign and I posted it 10 feet away. I posted this three times. We leave, we go. This is just quicksand. But before we leave, Jester, paint on the pillar. Do not touch or something like that.

We'll at least pay it forward. That would have stopped you guys. Don't touch. Yeah, right, true. We don't know how much it takes to set this thing off. Just don't touch the pillar. Okay. That should just be a rule.

Then how will I warn anyone? You won't. The bones will warn people. Could you just, you know, he's a really good guy, and if he says we shouldn't warn people. Why wouldn't we warn people? We can, we're warning people, there's dead people. All right, well, we'll pile up the bodies. We could set up the bones and then put a sign on the bones,

like, this will happen to you. This is exactly, I feel like this says it. I really. This could be you. I prop up some of the bodies. Even though it's bones, they don't make sense. Yeah, it's just a mishmash of splintered bones and frozen ice chunks.

Yeah, it looks like the bottom of your ice drawer in your freezer, it's just jammed in there. Oh, what the fuck is your body? I feel like I could draw on the pillar. It's a mess. It's fine, we'll just leave. It's fine. Let's get moving so we can get,

we're going to, we've lost some time. An hour, we've lost an hour. We've lost an hour against people who are moving. 15 minutes to be exact. Take some paint and draw on the pillar. Good. I'm just going to write, big emerald here,

and I'm going to paint a little arrow pointing down. Oh, that's murder. That's going to bring people right to that. Well, they should be smarter than that, really. Jessica, I don't know. That seems like a bit much. I'll actually say if I had seen that, I wouldn't have touched this thing anyway.

I would have. Really? Yes. Really? Yeah, that's like a cave that says free cupcakes. That's a good idea. Oh, well, I guess when you say it like that. See, yeah.

I just, oh. It all depends. You just have to attack it from the right angle sometimes. That might be one of the most morally ambiguous things you've done. JK. That's somehow even more confusing. Who's J.K.?

Ancient wizard J.K. What does it mean? All right. Moving on, on the road. Gathering yourselves, Dagen's like, Fuck. All right, second day. Let's get going.

Yeah, as everyone starts walking away, Caleb whips around, irked, and casts Dispel Magic at 6th-level at the emerald. At 6th-level? Yeah. Go ahead and roll a d20 and add your intelligence modifier. 15. 15. Cast spell magic, it has no effect. Wow.

We lost. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. We'll probably come back by this way. We'll get it, we'll get it. Someday you get the amulet. We're going to come back and it'll be gone and we'll know somebody did it. That was a mean one.

You got to lose for it. You swallow your pride a bit and bruised spiritually. Swear to fuck, if Molly shows up holding a giant emerald, you just go pay her some. Ah! Yeah. I just look at it and say, I killed Vokodo.

Not you. Yeah, yeah. Pillar's the. Not you. Yeah, yeah. Pillar's the big bad guys. Yeah. Very cute, right? You continue the rest of your day trekking northward with fair weather, keeping your pride as best intact as you can, till the day comes to a close and Dagen's like,

all right, time to start setting up camp again. Actually, do we want to have a conversation about setting up camp? Yeah. Did he just use a six-level spell to try and get an Emerald? I don't need, it's, we're good. Okay. That's fine.

Should we mention that we have options? Yes, we can do whatever we need. Do you want the dome? Do you want to go plush? The dome's great. We can go plush, though. If we go plush, people probably can't scry on us. And we probably will feel better in the morning. If we go plush now, we might see how the magic reacts

before shit gets hairy. Yep. Ooh, that's right. We open it up, let the cat go in, close it, reopen it, see if the cat comes out okay. Like an octopus. Or a magic box, yeah, close it, reopen it, see if the cat comes out okay. Like an octopus. Or a magic box, yeah. Or, yeah, what? Sure. Speaking of magic

getting hairy. Yeah, that's why I'm saying, maybe it's filled up with water, you don't know. Super funny, though, too. Yeah. What was your question? The underwater level, such a pitch, is did we see anything get weird with any of their magic that they just did at the Emerald?

Nothing cut your eyes out of the ordinary. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, the spells seem to have functioned as intended. There was no signs of any oddity. All right. This one will be a little weird, though, because it is dimensional,

so maybe things will get weird. Yeah. But let's find out. Caleb? Yeah, okay. All right, so I will shove Kalyana's wand into the snow, and carefully, so they don't disappear into the snow,

put all the appropriate pieces, and the door goes... and carefully, so they don't disappear into the snow, put all the appropriate pieces, and the door goes. Oh, son of a bitch. You can make doors. Maybe you can't make the rest of a house, because that would be really convenient right now. That'd be really convenient, but you know, mages are weird, I guess.

The thing is, we don't always know that I will be able to accommodate us, so we wanted to go at least one night to learn from you. And we've learned from you so much, especially today. Yeah, yeah, I'd say so. So as a recompense for your trouble, so sorry, we'd love for you to come stay with us here. Let me just send my cat in

to make sure everything is all right. Okay. I summon Frumpkin. Is he always with you? Yes. Okay. I tell Frumpkin, go up to the top and down and give it a look-see. And I send Frumpkin.

Close the door. Now can you see the interior of the tower from the door that's open? Well, I can see into the hallway, right? Right, yeah. Cool. All right, so you send Frumpkin into the inside of the tower. Seems fine.

Close the door. Is there a door? Is there a physical door? It's up to you. It's not so much a physical door, more than it's a shimmering door-like arch, like a threshold. You can adjust the visual edit if you want to, or make it invisible if you want.

You make it vanish, yeah, correct. So as I'm asking, are you having it visible, or are you having it purely... I will make it vanish for yeah, correct. So as I'm asking, are you having it visible or are you having it purely? I will make it vanish for us all. Okay. Frumpkin goes and about eight or so minutes later, Frumpkin emerges from the inside of the tower.

Meow. Seems to be positive. I'll summon the sword and I'll cast See Invisibility and do a 360 and just see if we're being watched. Okay. The doorway gives it a stronger glow, just in the proximity of it. It's almost like changing the filter with a candle nearby,

because all of a sudden it gets brighter. But looking around you, nothing else catches your attention? No spheres. No spheres, no. We seem to be unwatched for the moment. All right, well, Dagen, join us for dinner. Sure. Start leading the way in.

As you guys make your way in, Dagen, with a little bit of apprehension, passes through and as soon as it gets inside, goes, Are you fucking kidding me? Why the fuck did we sleep in the ice last night? This is not every night. Learning, we were learning. Just in case. When an ice will cross.

How did? Think up. Where are the stairs? Just think up. Think up. Where are the stairs? Just think up. Think up. Up. Whoa. To glide, him in the chair, lifting without issue. He's like, well, I guess I don't need that feature for now. And he sets one of the little glowing orb-looking panels

on the side of the chair, and he starts just continuing to float up with you. This is all kinds of, wow. What's for dinner? Guest rooms, right? Yeah. Yeah. What is for dinner? What would you like, Caduceus?

Your call. A bit of everything. I think, ooh, mac and cheese. Ooh, that sounds good. I was thinking chili. Doesn't it sound like that would be good on a snowy day? We could do both together. I think that's a really good call.

Some collards? I'm so ready for this meal. I hover in the salon, the library chamber with all of us, and I fall out of the central column and walk over and pull a rope pull by the main fireplace here with the stained glass in the motif of Molly's coat, and

a cat comes out of a little arch next to it, and I say, ah, Rudy. Good. We are going to it, and I say, ah, Rudy, good. We are going to have mac and cheese, and then lots of vegetables and quinoa. As much quinoa as we have at the moment. And chili. And chili, vegetarian chili tonight, though.

Well, also some pancakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Only seems fair to get some bacon, too. Waffles sound good to you. Cornbread waffles! Cornbread waffles are really good for the chili. Cornbread waffles and also waffle cornbread. Does such a thing exist?

Why not? In real life? I want that though now. If the cats can't make it, I mean, who can? I want it. Sounds good, doesn't it? Also, one plate of bacon. Real bacon for our guest. Turns around with a slight begrudging, like, okay,

type of a feel beneath the meal, but the meal is now under preparation. You can see Dagen is just jetting around and inspecting the interior of the towers. He's like, ah, then. Man, you weren't joking. You are. You are some Assembly folk, or at least capable,

though I remember usually much for sharing. He glides back down. Well, we're independent contractors, so. Well, I don't mind staying along with contractors that provide a better place to sleep, I'll tell you that. Sure. Oh, I'm looking forward to that, man. Let me show you your room.

Yeah, please. I will start to hover up to the first of the guest floors where Caduceus and Yasha's room are, but there is a third room there. And when we go in, it is stained glass with wolves over the fireplace and bacon strips along the bottom and all the same accoutrements that are in the other rooms. And then his central room has got axes all on the wall and a massive wet bar with every kind of whiskey and bourbon imaginable and a couple of jugs that just have XXX on them.

And a fairly traditional and basic bedroom. He glides in and goes, A little kitschy, but I like it. All right, this'll do. Thank you. Sure. Thank you very much. That tub is scalding hot when you first get in, so easy does it.

Fair enough. All right, well, let's say dinner in about 30 minutes. Try off a bit. Yeah. All right. Eventually, food is prepared, a fantastic spread of cat design to the specifications you required, meals that are familiar to you,

and a handful that are new to anybody, as they've been created in the request stage. But nevertheless, a fine dinner spread is enjoyed by all. Some laughter and imbibent, and eventually the evening comes to a close. Is there anything you'd like to accomplish before the night comes to a close? We'll go to the next morning.

Actually, I'd like to find Dagen and just say, it's fair to keep you abreast of two individuals that we are keeping an eye out for. For any reason, if you should become separated from us, we are keeping a lookout for this fellow, and I'll make myself look like Molly. Catchy. And this, and I'll make myself look like Cree.

These two seem to be on the trail for the same sort of items, things that we're looking for. Yeah. Be wary. All right, I'll keep an eye out. Appreciate the heads up. You haven't seen them at any time, have you? I haven't, no. Fair enough.

Insight check. Insight check. Do I believe it? Make an insight check. Roll a four. Natural one. Natural. I mean, he's a little tipsy. Seems to be forthcoming, best you can tell. Natural. Natural what? Natural.

I mean, he's a little tipsy, seems to be forthcoming. Best you can tell. Good job. All right. Anybody else? We good? I'll... A hot bath sounds really nice. So after dinner, go back to my room, run a hot bath, talk to one of the cats, request some hot cocoa. Maybe some chocolate-dipped strawberries?

You know, and a Chardonnay. Thank you. Darts into the wall. As the tub is filling up, reach in my pocket, pull out the poem from Yasha. Oh, right, right. The what, the what? The poem.

The poem. Oh shit. You did it? You should stare at it for a moment. Oh, Beau, Beau, Beau. Whoa. Put it down. I stare at it for a little bit longer, wait for my chardonnay to show up, chug my chardonnay, pick it up again, open it, and I read the poem.

Okay. So my brain swirls as I hear Yasha's voiceover in my head. So it's, at the top of it, it's a whole paragraph that is crossed out and scraped. And you see some words like

bow and abs. And shorn. And envelop and things like that, and it's just crossed out. And underneath it, Beau. Yeah, this was a poem, but then I realized it was a dumb poem

and I can't write poetry. Sometimes I have an easier time when I put the pen to parchment, so here it goes. I've watched you. I don't mean that in a creepy way. I mean, I am a little bit of a creep, but I know that you know this by now. It takes me a minute to open up.

So I watch, I observe. I take it all in as opposed to letting it all out. I guess the only time I let it all out is when I fight, which I'm not sure is the healthiest thing in the world. But here's some things that I've noticed about you. You're strong. You're a leader. You're really smart. You're a leader. You're really smart.

You're really funny. You're honest, even if it hurts. But the thing that really gets me about you is that you love so fiercely. And I know you feel like an asshole most days, but... I kind of like that you're an asshole. You stick up for the people you love, and you make me feel stronger. I can hold my own. I know that you know that,

but you make me feel safe. I don't even know if that makes sense, but I know no matter what, you'll have my back, no questions asked. Yasha. Good. Fuck off, Fluffy. Leaves the cocoa behind. Thanks, Fluffy. Leaves the cocoa behind.

Thank you, Fluffy. Wipe away a few tears as I see them hit the paper. And I just sink into the tub until I'm underneath, And I just stay there until I think I can't hold my breath any longer, and then I stay like 20 seconds longer. Then I come up. And I do that back and forth for a little bit

until I eventually fall asleep. In the tub? Not in the tub, you know. Not like a super tragic way. The entire campaign, not a monster could keep her down. The bathtub finally takes her out. Not in like a Jim Morrison way, no. All right.

Oh, wait, one thing. Can I float up and knock on Caleb's door? Sure. Yeah. load up and knock on Caleb's door? Sure. Yeah. Could you cast Tongues on me? I mean, you know, the spell where you can make me understand languages or whatever. Yeah, I could do that.

I just want to read the book, Caleb. You want to read it yourself? Well, I mean. I can read it to you if you want. Okay, it could take a while. Are we talking about Princeton Cat? Yeah, the cute cat with the hat.

Mm-hmm. So I walk us in and sit us down by my fireplace, which has no stained glass window. The furniture in here is pretty nondescript. This is a boring room, Caleb. You really decked everyone else out. Well, it took a lot of effort for you all, so no time for me.

Okay, so this is meant for children Okay My mother read it to me when I was very little It's called The Cat Prince The Cat Prince Okay Okay, once upon a time

In a little house On the edge of a great white wood wood lived a young boy with his mother. The poor boy was sick and spent much of his days in bed, watching the days pass by from a little window in his room. The boy's mother loved him very much, but as it was just the two of them and the boy was ill of health and frail of form, every day she had to make the journey to town where she worked in the kitchens of the local lord. While she was gone, the boy would mind the house, read one of their precious few books,

and observe the bees and the trees, oh, that rhymes when I translate it, and the birds in their flight as he spent the greater part of his time resting in bed. The boy knew that his mother loved him and that her time away was all for his sake. And he was grateful to her and loved her in return. But it was a lonely life, spending his days rereading some of the same books or talking to the air in their little home on the woods edge.

One day, and this is all illustrated as we go through the pictures. I hope you're showing me the pictures. Yeah, yeah, I'm going page by page. We're sitting on the couch together. As the boy sat in bed looking out at the fields that lay between his home and the woods, he noticed a cat making its way out of the forest. It's been a long time since I read this.

It was not long before the boy realized this cat clearly making its way toward his home was no ordinary cat, for upon his head he wore a little top hat. And if that were not strange enough on its own, as the cat

pattered up beneath the boy's window, he stood, doffed his cap, took a bow, and said, Greetings, young master. You look as if you could use a bit of dancing. The boy, stunned by these words from the dapper little cat, could scarcely find his voice.

Oh, no, sir, said the boy, I don't know how to dance, nor am I made for it. Nonsense, said the cat. Why, anyone can dance if only they look to. Come out of doors and let me show you. And as he spoke, the cat donned his hat and began to turn in circles and dance. And he's dancing on the page.

The boy was curious, but said, good sir cat, I am afraid I am ill. My lungs are too weak and my bones are too frail. Oh, maybe they are and maybe they aren't, the cat replied. But either way, you do not want to languish one more day in bed watching the world go by, do you? Come, take a walk with me through the fields and I will show you how to dance. Overcoming his doubts, the boy managed to climb down from his window and walk

a few steps closer. This was no ordinary cat and no ordinary day. And though he felt unsure, his heart did leap a little, and he began to follow the marvelous little cat through the grass, slowly at first, but with more vigor as they crossed the fields. And eventually, he found himself stepping under the shade of the woods for the first time in a great many years. All the while the cat frolicked and capered as they wound their way deeper into the wood and eventually the boy found himself stepping into a ring of trees. The cat whirling about, his hat in hand,

the furry little dancer twirled around the boy laughing and calling while the boy watched his mouth agape. And then quick as a flash the cat brought his top hat down right atop the boy's head, who was very suddenly plunged into darkness. This is going to be a sad story, Caleb. Then I turn the page. But only a moment, because all about him,

shining in the dark, he saw the glow of hundreds of eyes, feline eyes glimmering in the dark. Suddenly, about him, lanterns flared to life, and the boy saw he was no longer in a wood at all. Here he saw a grand ballroom, festively decorated and filled to the brim with cats. Big cats, small ones, old cats, young ones, cats of every breed and color. And in the center of the great hall, upon a stage, stood the boy's feline guide. Only now he was dressed in very fine robes,

and upon his head sat a thin golden crown of wrought golden leaves. He's a prince. Which is illustrated right there. Beautiful little cat. Well-worn pages. The boy stood in wonder and amazement as the great host of cats bowed to their prince and then, in turn, bowed to him. The world of men is heavy and hard, the princely cat proclaimed. But here across the vale we move with lighter step.

Dance with us, child, and forget your troubles for a spell. All at once, scores of cats closed in around the boy, purring and turning about his legs as thick as the sea. And as they moved, so too did the boy's feet. He swirled amongst them like a cork on the water, and before he knew it, the boy was dancing, dancing and dancing as he never imagined he could. And his breath, much to his surprise, was hearty and hale. He found he no longer felt ill in the least. Hours passed, and he and all the cats danced without end, and the Prince of Cats more than all of them. After a long while, the boy suddenly remembered his mother, and immediately feared she would worry. He stopped in the middle of the great hall and called out to the prince of cats,

Forgive me, Sir Cat, but I can no longer stay. My mother will worry. I have to return. All the cats parted before him, and the prince approached the boy. Are you sure, boy? You could stay and dance with us for as long as you wish, forever and ever and ever. I cannot, the boy replied. My mother has only me, and I would not leave her alone.

Forgive me. The prince of cats looked on the boy with a sympathetic eye. Not at all, young one. Fear not a whit. You do your mother credit. And with that, the prince of cats stepped closer. Do not look so crestfallen.

Take our cat's grace with you. You can always dance if the will is there. And from behind his back, he brought out his top hat again and pulled it over the boy's eyes, and once again all was dark. Sometime later over the boy's eyes and once again, all was dark. Sometime later, the boy stirred and his eyes fluttered open.

He looked about and discovered he had been asleep in the wood and the sun now dappled his face through the trees. Next, he noticed a threadbare, patched top hat lying in the soft grass beside him. He gingerly picked it up and stood within the same circle of trees. As he did so, he took a deep breath and smelled the earth and the forest. And as he did, he realized his breath was strong and his legs hardy. Danka, he said,

as he looked down at the hat in his hands. And placing it upon his head, he smiled, kicked up his heels, and quietly started to dance his way all the way back home. The end. That was a happy story, Caleb. That's why my mother read it to me. I really thought that, like,

the cat prince was going to trap him in there forever and then he wouldn't be able to go see his mom. Well, a lot of Zemnian stories do end that way. It is true. The Cat Prince kind of reminds me of the Traveler. It's true, isn't it? Yeah. Wow.

A little dicey, but very likable. Good in the end, you know. Yeah. That was a really good story. I'm happy that I could share it with you. Me too. Thank you. Can I have it back? Oh, yeah, it is your copy.

It will vanish when you leave here, though, but it is yours. Thank you. All right, good night, Caleb. Yeah, good night. Good night. You wrote that whole fucking book? Some Zambian novel. All right, good night.

You have to tell the story to Fjord, and then he has to tell it to Fjord. And then I tell it to Fjord that Prince of Cats murders the boy and all the cats. They went to some cat breeze. Is that a real story? I know, right? Nobody asked me to read them the transmutation book.

Nobody! Is that a real story or did you write that? Where did you really write that? I wrote it. Today. How did you even know it? I wrote it today. She asked me to, she wanted to read it a few days ago,

so I wrote it today. Wow. Nice. Yes, it's very well done. It is very sweet. That was impressive. Yeah. Well, as the evening draws to a close, a night's rest much more comfortable than the previous. Some with dreams of

unique motion and playful anxiety. Others with dreams of dancing cats. Others with loose threads still left uncut. Some of vengeance found unintentionally, some of vengeance still to be acquired, some to discover the depths of the mysteries that taught those you care about.

And some dreams of accepting whatever this new chapter means. And some just drank until they slept in their guest room. But with the morning, you gather your things after a hearty morning, Cat prepared breakfast. Prepare yourselves to see the warm interior one last time before setting out into the third day of travel northward

into the snowy fields of Islecross. I would like somebody to go ahead and roll another d20 for me, please. I think Ashley is up. Me? roll another d20 for me, please. I think Ashley is up. Me? Yeah. Yeah. Do we?

Okay. Come on, come on, come on. 20, come on. What do I add? Just roll a d20. Oh. Three. Yes!

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. Could mean anything. Could mean anything. Oh. Let me follow. He marked. You find Santa's Workshop. Could you roll a d8 for me, please? Oh no.

Oh shit. Follow-up roll. Not good. This is not good. Oh shit. Which kind of dragon will attack? No, I think it's how many. Five. Five dragons will attack. Five.

Okay. Leave dragons will attack. Five. Okay. Leave it to me. Hours pass as you press into a harsher day upon the snowy plains of Eiselcross. The winds have picked up a bit, the snowfall has come a bit thick, and elements of distant ice fog block the horizon

from the crisp previous day's journey. You trust in Dagen's directional sense and pushing forward, because at certain moments, you look around you and have no idea which way is north. You have as good a sense as anybody, and even then, it takes a moment to ground yourself because this landscape at times feels alien and repetitive

in a very odd way. Pressing on about early afternoon-ish. The clouds grow darker, and it seems like a bit of a storm of some kind is making its way in your path. As you feel the temperatures drop and the wind grow ever stronger, you can hear the distant howling sound of cold wind

beginning to blow through the mountain range that sits to your immediate west, causing this haunting, multi-tiered, terrifying whistling choir of voices. Caduceus and Beauregard, as you're pushing through this steadily shaded space, as you crest some hills

and head into some valley portions, you swear you see something, like something in the snow snow move for a moment. We've got company. Underneath the snow? Like it's growing? Like the snow above a hill to your right seems to move slightly.

Something underneath the snow, right over there. I just track it, look for any other signs. Okay. Make a perception check, both of you. 22. 20. Okay. As you all stop for a second, Dagen halts and goes,

What's that you're saying? Something beneath the snow is moving. He starts looking around the space and reaches back and just puts the hand on the handle of Sheila. You both glance over in that direction and you catch a little bit of movement on the hill to your left as well.

Behind us, separate? Separate on the other side. Both sides. They're flanking us. Back to back, let's circle up. Yeah, I summon the sword and say the word, Gaelas Bar, and it glows in a 20-foot radius. Okay, as soon as the sword appears

and as the actual elven words are said, the runes ignite and the light begins to emanate out from the blade, you hear this faint, shimmering, ringing emanate from the blade. You hear this faint shimmering, ringing emanate from the blade itself as it is invoked. At that moment, there's a sound. And you glance over in the direction of where you first saw it and you see a movement,

a large arcing movement, something white move, and then a shape begin to suddenly spread out over in your direction as a large net begins to descend in the direction. I need everybody to make a dexterity check. You both have advantage because you saw them. What? You have advantage and then also.

Is it a check or a save? It's saving throw. Dexterity saving throw. Natural 20. Six. Natural 20. Seven. Seven. One, but I'll use the Ring of Evasion to succeed. Okay. Six. Natural 20. Seven. Seven.

One, but I'll use the Ring of Evasion to succeed. Okay. 23. 19. 18. 30 total. All right, so as the net descends, Caduceus and Beauregard, you reach out and grab whoever's nearest to you.

You manage to pull Yasha aside as you dodge out of the way. Caleb, there's a sudden burst of arcane inspiration within you and your body shifts faster than it normally does and you pull out of the way. You rolled a? 23. 23. You go ahead and just roll out of the way. For? Question. Ooh, what's your question? roll out of the way for...

Question. Ooh, what's your question? Is this considered a missile? Not in that way, no. Okay. Good call, though. This is a wide net. This is about 40 feet from end to end. Okay.

However, the two of you, in trying to rush out, don't quite get far enough before it descends on you. Heavy, thick, coarse rope about that big around, falls only patches about that wide between each, and it's weighted at certain points where it feels heavy when it falls on you. As soon as it hits, you hear Giant. Giant. As soon as it hits, you hear.

Giant. Giant. And you see, rising from both sides, about 10 to 12 feet to the shoulder, these squat humanoid forms with thick, white, coarse hair across their bodies. Dull gray, almost blue patches of skin beneath where their face and hands are. You can see bandoliers of leather.

You've encountered creatures like this before. These are yetis. Yetis! And you see them as they stand up, patches of skin beneath with their face and hands are. You can see bandoliers of leather. You've encountered creatures like this before. These are yetis. Yetis! And you see them as they stand up, weapons at the hand, shouting as they crest the edge and you see one stand up larger than all the rest. One hulking behemoth of a yeti as it crests to the top of the hill,

holding this giant, jagged-looking hook spear at the end, and just goes, and begins charging inward. And that's where we're going to take a break. We'll be back here in just a moment. We'll see you guys here shortly. Hello, Critters. This is Ashley Johnson, president of the Critical Role Foundation,

our 501c3 nonprofit organization with a mission that might sound familiar. To leave the world better than we found it. We partner with other nonprofits to raise funds supporting causes that mean a lot to us. And we allocate 10% of all donations to an emergency relief fund And welcome back. Roll Foundation and to donate, visit criticalrollfoundation.org. And welcome back. So where we left off, you all were being ambushed by a group of yeti here in the middle of the ice across Plains.

So I've placed the minis on here in the middle. Unfortunately, the mini I ordered for Dagen didn't arrive in time, so I customized one quickly back with other miniatures, cobbled it, but I think it looks fine. You amazing DIY motherfucker. But you guys are many. Oh jeez.

How, okay wait, so the net is over us, but then is it, like, are they holding the net? It's weighted. No, it's weighted down. There are like heavy stones that is woven through that are keeping it on the ground there. You all can tell me where you want to get placed within five feet of the net.

I want to be near Caleb. I'd like to be under the sea. You'd be near Caleb? What was the direction? Caleb, you want to be there? Yeah, that's good where I am. That's fine. What were the two directions that Caduceus and I? In here. All right, then I'm good.

I'll turn around and look at that direction behind me. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to say the rain shunted him and he didn't have total control of where. Okay. I will be a little bit next to Nott, but on the other, like in between Caleb and Nott. Nott, where do you want to be?

Yeah, that's good. If you want to make your game table look like what you see here with Dwarven Forge, modular gaming terrain, go check it out at dwarvenforge.com. But I want to be right where I am. Woo! Okay. Set up a map there.

Or actually, put me on the other side, because I know Caleb and Beau kind of pulled me back from the nets. Okay. Yeah. And then that'll put us at initiative. Oh yeah, initiative. Oh, right. Gotta have initiative.

I love no minis. Daddy! Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh, I love minis. Daddy! Ah! Blah! Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit! Oh shit! That's a big yeti!

Oh, he landed like Iron Man in a three-point turn. That's a big puppy dog. All righty, so if I can get everyone to roll an initiative for me, please. No! Okay, okay, okay, okay. No! Of course you do, fuck me. Son of a bitch. No! No! Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. No! Fuck me. Okay.

Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Why? I'm going to use my boots. Son of a bitch! Okay. 25 to 20, anybody? Nope.

Son of a fucking bitch. 20 to 15. Nope. 18. 18. Yeah! All right, so we got? Yasha, Veth, and Yasha. Oh, right, that's dexterity.

Crazy. 15 to 10? Nope. 14. All righty. Oh no. Oh, 10. Quiet. Oh, thank you. 10. Thank you. Two. 10 to five. Six. Nine.

Jester. Oh, cool. What's up? Caduceus, what you got? Three. Vax shit. Rolled a one. Oh boy. Oh, get it. Okay. Yeah, I didn'tax shit. Rolled a one. Oh boy. Get it. Okay.

Yeah, I didn't roll good. Top of the round, we have Veth with Yasha on deck. You just dodge the net, turn around, and hear the howling between the two sides, and what are you doing? First, I will try to burrow into the snow to hide. Yeah.

Okay. I'll use all my movement, if I need to, to like... Thankfully, there is a lot of snow, and you are a small creature. Yeah, can I run and slide and try to kick some on me or something? I'll say because there is high snow here, and your size, you would be able to attempt to hide in the snow.

Okay. Okay. But if you wish to move from your spot, it's all considered difficult terrain. Sure. No, I'm just going to sit and hide for a second. Oh my god, you are so close to those dudes. Okay, I rolled, for stealth, I rolled a...

Oh wow., wow. Oh, wow. 34. Okay. So you are hidden in the snow. Okay. I will whip out. Just so you know, if you hide in a space, and they know where you're hiding, you're not technically hiding. Damn it!

You know, if there's a table in a room and you get under the table, they still know you're under technically hiding. Damn it! You know, if there's a table in a room and you get under the table, they still know you're under the table. In Fingorow? So if you want to move out of that space, that will help you if you're trying to do something from a stealthy position. But as of right now, they watched you vanish in the snow

and they think you're probably where you are. You got to try to Bugs Bunny it. Without making a little ridge. That's kind of what you have to do, yeah. Making eye contact as you're digging. You'll never find me! Oh, where am I? So if I attacked on this turn,

it would not be a sneak attack. Well, you've stealthed. It didn't spend any movement to try and stealth. You can move the difficult terrain to remain stealthy in the snow. Okay, okay, okay. I'll move in the snow to try to get. Which direction?

Towards the big yeti. That was some back shit, because quite a few times in campaign one, I was like, I hide right in front of them. You didn't prepare that, so. Yeah? Okay. And now, so you're saying if I pop up now,

maybe they won't know where I am? It's possible. Okay. I'll try to do it. We're living for possible. Okay. You know, to do it. We're living for possible. Okay. I just pop my arm out, and I'll wait for it to stop. Oh!

Are you shooting blood? Are you shooting blood? And will I? No, no, no. And I'm going to go. You moved like 10 feet. Surprise, motherfucker! And I'm going to- You moved like 10 feet. Surprise, motherfucker! And I'm going to Vax this shit. I'm going to throw a dagger.

What? Oh, okay. Throwing the core cut dagger. You got it, okay. Dagger! Dagger, dagger! Did you attune to the dagger? Bat. Yes, I did. You did attune to the dagger. I did.

Okay. And sharpshooter. Ooh! Putting some zzz on it. All or nothing. As a quick heads up, just so you know. Oh no. Where is it? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

Oh, I need to find it again. There it is, okay. So. Oh, might have to wait. You would have realized at the time, maybe, but we'll say now because I just realized you tuned. It is a cursed dagger. Uh-huh.

Sure, sure. So yeah, just all you know is the blade, it's bound to you, and you really want to keep it bound to you for now. So. Does that mean I can't throw it bound to you for now. So. Does that mean I can't throw it? You can throw it. Oh, okay. I'm throwing it.

But you got to retrieve it afterward. Of course, it's fucking cool. Oh, you got to retrieve it afterward. Needle in a haystack. Yeah, it's fine. The curse doesn't mean you can't let it go, but. So nevertheless, you Bugs Bunny your way through the snow. Uh-huh.

And chuck this dagger, go ahead and roll for an attack. So a ranged attack. Work, goddamn it, work! Yes! 26 minus five. Correct, so 21. So 21. That does hit. Yes! Gets the big one, correct, yeah.

Yeah, and so is this sneak attack damage or? It would be. Yay! Fuck you. The snow works in your favor, being a halfling rogue. Okay, this is straight up Vax roll here. Oh, these are all terrible.

It's fine. Six, 12, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. Plus six is 28, plus 10 is 38, plus three more d6. Plus the necromancer. Jeez. Oh, these are all terrible. 42. 42 points of damage to it.

And you used the effect to? I did, so some of that is necrotic. Right, but mark off a hit dice for a spank. Yes, yes. All right, he's got it. Jeez. So right as they're shouting you out to run, Veth just. Damn.

As the dagger's inside, it's still stuck in its chest. It's just there in its sternum. It looks angrily in your direction, and its eyes flash angry blue. I go back under the snow. Okay. All right, that finishes Veth's turn. Yasha, you're up.

Okay, I can't get to it. I would like to rage here. Yes. Rage. Oh, I'm going to take a bubble! Who's turn is it? Ha-gah! Oh.

Is there a place to try hit dice? Where is this? Yeah, I've never used hit dice. It's in a... You could just know it, too. Just mark one off somewhere. Boop. I will...

In your short rest? Oh, there it is. Thank you, I knew it. I'm going to start, I'm going to actually try to lift up the rope to try to get them out. Okay. So you move up, go ahead and make a strength check.

Because you are raging, you do have advantage on that. Okay. That's better. That would be 22. 22, okay. That will lift up the rope enough to get Jester free on this side. Thanks, Yasha!

And any other attempts to get free from the rope, if they spend their action on their turn, will have advantage as well. Great. But Jester is currently now free of the net. Woohoo! So that's your action. Did you hear that? I just got three of the net.

Okay. Yasha. I was trying to help you guys out. Okay. That's my turn. That's your turn? Stay in there, Pud? All right, it is now the big yeti's turn. The yeti goes, after taking the blow from the dagger, goes like,

Sneaky one! Oh shit! And is going to go ahead and leap. I'm snow! Oh my god. Just peace down, just snow! Oh my god. Just a piece of sand, just snow! Just urine. As it lands onto the ground next to you, eyes now glowing with light blue rage,

it starts swinging its giant hooked spear out in front of it. These are going to be attack against both Beauregard and Veth, who are within that sweeping range there. All right. So that is 19 to hit against you, Veth. Yes.

And then Beauregard, that is a 20 to hit. Miss? Misses. So Beauregard swings out of the way. Swing, well. Is that a 15-foot reach, 10-foot reach? It's a 10-foot reach, but they're both within space there. Big boy. Veth, you take 15 points of slashing damage.

Then he's going to swing again in an arc. That is going to be 22 against you. Yep. And 26 against you. Yep. And 26 against you. Yep. He looks like... Those are big hits. That sounds a lot.

He's landing, but also like he could be pooping. 17 points of slashing damage. 17? Yep. I'm assuming because I am in snow that I can't uncanny dodge this. No, it is a reaction you could. Yeah? For one of them, yeah. Yeah, I'll do that for that one.

Okay. So that was 17, so it becomes eight. I forgot the order of this, but that's fine. I will then... Yeah, it'll then use its chilling gaze, which I should have done beforehand. That's fine. Or you know what? You can go back. You're the DM. I'll let you guys do it all the time. I'll go back on this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, man. DM, go back.

The predecessor to this attack, angrily, because you're the source of its anger, it's going to go ahead and look at you. I need you to make a constitution saving throw, Beth. Don't worry. Suddenly you feel its piercing angry blue eyes just pierce the inside of your psyche. 20. 20. And you shrug it off.

What was it? You don't know. Was it fright? You shrug it off. All right, that finishes its turn, and then it's going to come to Beauregard. Fjord, you're on deck. Okay, so we still took that damage, the sweeping damage. We did.

Okay. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Well, it's right beside me, so that's convenient. Can I flank Veth? Can I move around and flank? I don't know if that's helpful, but. Could if you could see me. Ha ha ha!

Just, yeah. I'm going to go over here. There's a blood splotch in the snow. I'm making eye contact with you. I'm snow! You are red snow. Why couldn't you talk to snow? Mist.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to try and leap off of an icy snowbank and pop it in the head a couple times. Pop pop. Pop pop. Pop pop pop. 25 for that first one.

25 hits. Stunning Strike. Stunning Strike. That is 18. Why? Okay, yeah, that's it. So damage on that one? Yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. 13, that was a terrible roll.

All right. Okay, next one. Go for it. That's an even better 28. That hits. Stunning Strike. We'll roll damage first, and then we'll Stunning Strike. Okay. I know you're excited.

Oh my god, you are. 13. No, sorry know you're excited. Oh my god, you are. 13. No, sorry, 16, 16. 16, okay. That is... Damage. 17. To save from it? To save. What's the DC?

I'm so bad at just 16, 16. Makes the save. How smart is this? Okay, all right,. 16. Makes the save. How smart is this? Okay, all right, all right. It's a constitution. Yeah, if you want to get a gauge, it's intelligence, you'd have to take a little moment to inspect it. Oh no.

Give it a quick ACT test. It's got a hefty physicality to it. She's going for the state level. I'm not doing that. Okay. Flurry of Blows, pop pop. Go for it. Yeah, da-da-da-da-da. Okay, that first one's going to be a 27.

That hits. Sorry. Stunning Strike. Damage. Okay. Doing it all at once. 1d8 plus six is 11 damage. All right.

That is 15. Ha ha! Ha ha! He is stunned! Fuck you! Three ki points down. No, wait. Stunning strike, stunning strike, stunning strike.

And my pop pop. Four stunning strike, sorry, ki points. But he is done. He is stunned, okay. And last pop pop. 17. Nope, sorry, sorry, sorry. 21. 21 hits. Roll damage. Do you want to stunning attack him again? No. I rolled a one, which sucks, so seven damage. Seven damage, you got it. As you swish behind, begin pummeling the back of its leg, you find the base of its spine where you imagine it would be,

and just start hitting towards the nerve center. And it's just hitting hard, muscular meat, guarded by this thick layer of fur, and you're hitting it and you're hurting it, and it's looking over, trying to swap back at you. And then you get one good hit that you assume is right at the base of the spine, and as you do it good hit that you assume is right at the base of the spine.

As you do it, it yells and locks up, and you see it start to fold to one knee almost. Right in that sciatic nerve. Yeah. Ooh. That shit sucks, I know from experience. Yeah. Extract Aspects. All right.

You, since it is immune to cold damage, and that is the extent of its elements. Crazy. Not surprising. Yeah, there's nothing. I feel like we all knew that. Well, now you know. It's immune to cold. Is it smart? That's right. No.

Good to know. I think its constitution is beefy, though. Yeah, I had plans. Beefy. But four ki points in, he is stunned. Nice. All right. But four ki points in, he is stunned. Nice. All right, as it's howling in pain, it is now Fjord's go. So much. I can't, can you count the squares for me to the big yeti?

Am I within 30 feet of him, or just outside of it, where I am under the net? I can't quite see. Under the net, you are roughly 25 to 20 feet from him. Okay, I will take... Well, I'll take two, because if I tried to shoot out from under this net, it would probably be a disadvantage, right?

Probably, I'll say yes, just because it's instilling that challenge from below. I will try and I'll take two swipes of the net to try and clear the net from Dag and myself. Okay. I was about to say, you can, yeah, go ahead. Yasha does give you advantage if you just want to make an athletics check as your.

Oh. Oh, because she's holding it up. She's helping hold the thing up for you if you want to. Yeah, athletics check. So as opposed to having to try and cut through, you just actually muscle it off of you. With advantage? With advantage on an athletics check.

That'd be great, okay. 15 and 18. Yeah, no worries. You get the net free and it falls down into the snow. Amazing. With my bonus action, I'd like to channel divinity and I'm going to activate my Fury of the Tides.

Okay. What the so? So as you lift and shove the net off with your hand, you hold the blade there, and as you hold it in front of you, looking around the space, you watch as some of the ice in the ground begins to suddenly melt in the proximity of the snow. As it melts, the water seems to almost reverse drip upward onto the blade, and the blade itself seems to have this weird,

liquid, shimmering water across its surface. Riptide, motherfucker. Cool. All righty. You still have your movement, because you broke free of the next human element. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! I will, I have a pointer here. I will head 30 feet in this direction, out this way.

All righty. Big call. Great. You got it, that finishes Fjord's go. All right, Jester, you're up. Can I get to the big yeti? You can. Okay, I'm going to step up behind the big yeti.

The bag-yeti? The bag-yeti. And I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds at 5th-level. Okay, go for it. Do I get advantage because he stunned? Yes, you do. I'm spaghetti. I rolled an 18.

A melee spell attack. Hold on. I rolled an 18. A melee spell attack. Hold on. Snow-like white confetti. So that adds plus 10, so 28. 28, all right, that'll definitely hit. Go ahead and roll damage. 7d10. Ooh! Ow. Ooh! 7d10?

Yeah. Are any of these guys holding weapons? The big one is holding this whole arm with a hook spear in the end of it, and the other ones appear to just have claws and some tools and bandoliers around them. So they're not physical claws, they're not weapon claws?

No, they're just physical claws. Okay. Cool, but yeah. You've not seen yetis with tools and attire before. Most of the ones you've encountered, and the one time you encountered them were a little more just feral. What is it? 31 points of damage!

Whoa! Beast. As it's tensed up after being jabbed with a dagger, pummeled, and then having its spine cracked, you rush forward, and as you reach your hand outward and touch an element of its knee, there's this surge down your arm

of black necrotic energy, similar to what you guys recently suffered by the gem. As it impacts around the body, you watch as the fur around where your hand touched turns dark gray, then eventually black in that space, all up the thigh. Then it goes and falls down. Now it's on both knees in the ground. It's hurt. Do I have any movement left?

You would have 10 feet left. Can I back up 10 feet? Sure, yeah. Jester's complicated. It's stunned, so it can't do an Impact of Opportunity on you. All righty. That finishes your turn. Yeah. All right. With that, it is now the yetis' turn, the other yetis'. This one over here goes,

GYSTAL! And ends up running and is going to go ahead and attempt to grab and throw you back. Veth? Good luck! I'm snow. You can't throw snow. Oh wait, Veth. Good luck! Um. I'm in snow, you can't throw snow. Oh wait, you can. You're also not hidden anymore, because you revealed your... I'm snow!

Make a deception check. Here we go. 20. Ooh! 13? It says, no you're not! And very clear common. Oh shit! Oh shit. And very clear common. Oh shit!

Oh no. And I need you to make an acrobatics check for me. Acro. Maybe they're not yetis. Natural 20. Cursed. You weave out of its grasp as it tries to grab you. It does put its arms out to protect the larger yeti.

Oh no. Are these cursed people? This one here is going to move. Yeah, they can make nets. Maybe they sold off someone they killed. And they ambushed us. It can only get so close. You see the one behind there goes like,

and goes running. It looks over towards you, Yasha, because you're the one who it can only get to. As it glares in your direction, you look over your shoulder as you go for your blade and you watch its eyes flash blue. I need you to make a constitution saving throw for me. Okey-doke.

Which you're good with. 15. 15 does succeed. You shrug off whatever piercing, chilled effect it was putting upon your mind. It's going to go ahead and try and lay into you with two claw strikes. Okay.

That is going to be, ooh, not too bad. That's going to be a 24 to hit. Yeah. And a 19 to hit. Yar. All right, you take nine points of slashing damage plus three points of cold. So would be five, or I'm down, it would be four and then three. So you take seven points. The other one is going to be six points of slashing

damage reduced to three, and then six points of cold damage that goes's turn. This one's going to rush around. And come into range with both of you, and it's looking frantically between you in the direction of the big one, and then as it goes, it just looks vengefully pissed in its face before it gives this horrible growl, its eyes piercing blue. I'm actually going to whistle.

Who did we fuck? All right, make a constitution saving throw for me. Okay. With advantage because of the cute whistle? Nope. Ooh, nine. Nine. Damn it. You whistle, it looks back at you, its eyes flash blue,

and suddenly you feel the inner aspect of your body freeze solid. You are paralyzed for one minute. Oh! That's not cool. These things are meaner than I thought they were. And it's going to make two attacks on you, with advantage, because you are now paralyzed.

Oh no. Better me than you? Oh, you also take... How do you do that? It breathes? It uses the eyes? Boosh! I see gaze or something. Stare. I see something.

Did you just make that up? 17 points of cold damage to you, Caduceus, from that gaze. I don't think so. Frosty's thanks. Frosted plicks. Took one for the team. Aw.

That was so nice of you, Caduceus. Rather have the wizard up. Did you take healing this today? I did! Yay. 25 to hit for the first strike. That hits. Did you take healing? Natural 20 on the second,

but it doesn't matter, they're auto-crit because you're paralyzed. They're crits! When you're paralyzed, melee attacks are auto-crits. So the first strike against you. I don't suppose my Shield of Retribution works. Never mind. Nope, you can't use reaction because you're paralyzed. So the first strike against you. I don't suppose my Shield of Retribution works. Never mind. Nope, you can't use Reaction because you're paralyzed.

So the first strike is going to be 15 points of slashing damage. Ow. Plus six points of cold damage. Ow. Second one is going to be, ooh. That's going to be 17 points of slashing damage. Did you roll to hit?

Yeah, the natural 20 was the second attack. Okay. But they're both critical because they both hit. Yeah, so it doesn't matter. Sorry. It's okay. And then 10 points of cold damage. So 27 on the second hit? Yes.

Ow. And is frantically trying to maneuver through and take out whatever it can in the process. That finishes its turn. Caleb, you're up. Caduceus, you're on deck for your saving throw. So I just watched Caduceus get laid waste, too, and all the plans I had just went out of my head,

and I reach out my hand and put it on my tall friend's shoulder, and I turn him into a mammoth. Okay. I have no idea what that does in this situation. Is he a paralyzed mammoth? Well, he has lots of hit points, though. Yeah, smart.

And I will use my movement to circle around the yeti to get into flanking position. Right there? Yeah. Okay. How many hit points do I have? Oh, I'll tell you. Yeah, as much or? I can look up mammoth, I suppose.

After it pulls back with its bloodied claws, growling angrily, you spin around and it's still looking over towards the rest of the fight across the way. Then as it spins around towards you, it hears the grinding sound of something getting heavier. It swips around and looks up at the mammoth growing

where the small fear ball once was, and just goes. You see it audibly go. You don't know what language it speaks, but it's a curse. It is loudly cursing its luck. Mother. Did you find it, Tal?

No, not yet, but I'm going to look it up. 126 hit points, 126. 126 is good. Yeah, I found it. All right. Caduceus, you are a mammoth, but you're also paralyzed. Go ahead and make another constitution saving throw for me, please. Do I use the mammoth

constitution? Yes, you do. I don't have advantage, though. No. Okay. He is a pink and green mammoth. Oh, that's 14? 14 will do it. You are, at the end of your turn, the Feral Assist. Much better constitution

than I have. Hey, nice. He is a mammoth at Burning Man. Pfft. All right. This is fun. That finishes your go, Caduceus. Top of the round. Veth, you're up. Yasha, you're on deck. Ooh, I'm up. Can I see that blade in its chest?

Nice. Yes, it's a little ways up, but you could probably scramble and grab it if you want to. I'm going to scramble up, grab the blade, and try to pull it down in the chest. Go for it. Nasty!

Nasty twin! You got an advantage, right? Yep. Oh, advantage. Yeah, because he's stunned from Beauregard. Wow, I don't even know, is this? Oh, wait, I just used the dagger's attack. So yeah, lots, 29 to hit. 29 definitely hits.

And it's sneak attack, because he's engaged with? Engaged with Beau. Well, he's stunned, yeah. Any attack that has advantage, you can sneak attack. Yep, yep, yep. Oh god, oh god. It's not looking good for a big friend here. No, it's not. Yep, yep, yep. You're awful. Oh god, oh god. It's not looking good for a big friend here. No, it's not. No, not at all. Two, four, seven, six.

12, 16. 21, plus six is 27. Plus I'll do another one of those. SAM and LAURA make a noise. 25. Plus eight is 35. 35, nice. Oh god. That's nice, that's awesome. Yeah, it's looking to hurt.

As you carve the blade down and pull it free from its chest, there's this giant gaping wound now in its sternum, which is now starting to just drip dark crimson onto the snow around it. It's like. Oh, I feel bad for it. That finishes your turn. It's going to fall into the dust.

No. Or what else are you doing? Well, that used some movement, I assume. Can we talk about this? I'll say five feet. Going to wear us as best party hats. Sure. No, I'll stay. I Sure. No, I'll stay.

I guess, yeah, I'll stay. I'll bonus action. Could run away, but I think you can use flanking and shit if I'm on it, so I'll just stay where I am. Flanking doesn't matter to me. I was just doing it if it mattered to anybody else. All right, well then I'll disengage and run away. Yeah, that's true.

Where are you running? It makes no difference. Just straight backwards. Straight backward? There you go. All right, that finishes your go. Is flanking your deal for any of us here? Yasha, it's your turn.

Okay, I'm going to let out a battle cry for zealous presence, so everybody within 60 feet gains advantage on attack rolls and saving throws. Yes, let's go, fam! Fill my next turn, and as I'm screaming out my battle cry, I take out Magician's Judge. Magician's Judge. And attack this big boy.

I actually forgot attacking this initiative, so I'll do that after your turn. Oh, do you want to do it? I'll do it after your turn. Okay. So, let's see. The net blocked him from my view, weirdly. All right, so go for it.

You're attacking the one right in front of you, right? Yes, okay, so that would be 24. 24 hits. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to try Savage Attacker. That's better. 29. I'm going to try Savage Attacker. That's better. 29 points of damage for the first hit. Damn, nice.

That's the first hit. Oh, okay. Well, that rolled that. Aye, the left pap. Okay, so the second hit is 23. 23 hits? Yep. Second hit is 23. 23 hits? Yep. Uh... Much better, like. Whoa! Yeah.

Well, we had, we found some discrepancies. I realized I was doing something wrong. 20 points of damage. Yeah! Yeah! Hell yeah, well done. That was wonderful. Yeah, me too.

I was like, what am I doing? These two heavy cuts, you cut through twice. The second swipe sends a scattering of blood across the snow on the yeti. All right, that finishes your turn? Yeah. Where are our sticks? It's okay. Okay. Okay.

It is now the large yeti's turn. You're ready to camp in this. Who is stunned. He is on his knees right now. I wanted to build a house. I almost graduated. Stop! Oh, he says stop! He falls to one arm on the ground,

just bleeding out of the wound in its chest. That finishes its turn, it's still stunned. Beau, you're up. Fjord, you're on deck. I hate it when this happens. I knew this would happen. Well, now I have to make the choice. What are you going to do? He said, stop.

What are you going to do? You heard him. You heard him. Dick. Actually, before it's your turn, it is Dagen's turn. Dagen. I was wondering. Sorry, Dagen should've. Dagen. Dagen. Fuck it, I have a bird named Dagon. I did this to myself. Call him Dagen's turn. Dagen, I was wondering. Sorry, Dagen should've. Dagen. Dagen.

Fuck it, I have a bird named Dagon. I did this to myself. Call him Dagen. I did this to myself. It's Vax, Matt. Dagger Dagen. I say Dagen. Dagen, Dagen, Dagen.

Call him Dahl. Ugh, it's my own fault. Dageen, how about Dageen? He gets it all the time in school. It was a problem. Dageen. All right, Dagen's turn. Why was I even rolling that? He's spending his turn, actually, no, that's why,

because he was trying to get out, which he has advantage on, which is easy enough to do. Why am I even rolling that? I did, sorry. So he goes and like, looks around, surveys the territory and goes, Are we stopping some yetis? He's going to go over here with Sheila, removed towards the one that's currently harrying

both Caduceus, and he goes, That's crazy. Reels up fast, and then he's going to go ahead and use, because he can go, let's say, let's say he moves 10 feet in a straight-ish line to it. He's going to go ahead and ram with the front of the wheel, which has the pins from the front to make an attack against that yeti.

Yeah, that is... That's nine. That's nine, yeah, that definitely hits. Remember what happened to Gus. That'll be 11 points of bludgeoning damage to that yeti. That'll be 11 points of bludgeoning damage to that yeti. He just slams into it because he used his action surge

to get his other action back. Oh, yeah. Action surge. Wait, what is that? He's a fighter. He's a fighter ranger? He's multi-classed. So he rams with the first strike and then brings Sheila and goes, Come on, girl! And does an overhead swing with his axe

in the second strike. He's stunned, so I don't know if like. No, the guy up there is stunned. Oh, oh, oh. And with Sheila, both hands on this one, that's going to be 13 points of slashing damage. Yes!

Dude, 24 points of damage total, that's great. Ah, Sheila. Sheila. Sheila. All right, that's going to end his turn. Now, sorry, back to Beau, Fjord, you're on deck. Yep. You heard him.

Tears. You're right there. Tears are missing at the blow. Frozen little tears. No tears! You see in his back pocket a letter to his loved one. So this is what it sounds like when doves cry. He doesn't have a pocket, so it's actually a letter coming out of his butt, but it's a letter regardless.

Doves cry. It's a quick one. I'm sorry. What'd you have, little Beau? I am, Shut up, shut up, I'm going to, little Beau? I am going to vault off of his leg, off of his crouched thigh, and get up to his shoulders.

I'm going to put him in a headlock. Okay, you're attempting to grapple him. Go to sleep, go to sleep. Or are you just holding him? I'm just going to hold onto him. Okay, yeah, because he's too big to grapple him. Go to sleep, go to sleep. Or are you just holding him? I'm just going to hold onto him. Okay, yeah, because he's too big to grapple for you. Yes. But nevertheless, easy.

But I've got like, you know, melee Jovovich thighs that I'm just like, I respect that. crunching his neck with, you know? All right, there you go. And so Beauregard is now up, holding on to the sides of a neck that are, the neck itself is five times as wide as you are,

but you have a grip. All right. I'm going to get in his ear. Just off the back of the windshield. Yep. Relax! I'm going to get in his ear. I'll be like,

did you ask to sob? Did you ask us to sob? His response is. It took all the strength to get that out, because he's stunned. I'm paralyzed. And what are you going to do for us if we let you go? Yeah, can speak only falteringly as part of the stun condition, so.

What was your question? What are you going to do for us if we let you go? Okay, that is a six second round. Uh-huh. My stun is over. Yes, it is. Now is the end of my turn. Indeed.

So, that's your turn. Does he get to answer me? Time will tell, Time will tell. Uncle. So this is happening, transpiring while the rest of the round is happening. As you climbed up, grabbed him, began speaking, and there's been a little back and forth, the stun fades.

Now we go to Fjord's turn. I didn't hear any of that shit. I'm going to walk up to this, the one that Caleb and Dagger are talking about, yeah. And I'm going to take two swipes with the Star Razor. Go for it. That's a 21 to hit. 21 hits. And the second one is a...

That's better, that's a 28 to hit. 28 does indeed hit as well. Go ahead and roll damage for both. No, wait, 15. Yes, 28, that's a 28 to hit. 28 does indeed hit as well. Go ahead and roll damage for both. No, wait, 15. Yes, 28, that's right. I love how it got all quiet because now I'm attacking the kids

of whatever this thing is. Not kids, grandkids. That's right, that is 11. Yep, 11 points of slashing damage. 11 points slashing damage. And it shoves him 10 feet away. Colliding with that, which does an additional five points of bludgeoning damage to him.

So it's a total of 16 points of damage on that first strike. Do I have to close the distance, use the rest of my speed to meet him again? You would, yes, but you have 10 more. I think I only need about 15 feet or something. Yeah, so you're good there. You move in next to him. After he slams into the rest of my speed to meet him again? You would, yes, but you have... I think I only need about 15 feet or something. Yeah, so you're good there. You move in next to him.

After he slams into the back of the rock, and you just rush in blade ready. Amazing, and that is 16 points of slashing damage. It shoves him against the rocks again. Well, it's only one time per round. Oh, that's right, that's only one time per round. That's right. It's all good. So up against him right there,

now he's pinned against the rock, taking a few slash wounds to the torso. He's looking pretty hurt and he's breathing heavy, arms against the rock. Looking down at you, looking at the mammoth, looking at the mage. That finishes Fjord's go. Jester, you're up.

I'm going to assume that I heard what was going on with Beau since I was standing right in front. You're pretty close, yeah, you would've picked up on that. So I'm just going to... I'm just going to hold a Guiding Bolt. Okay. At second level, in case Big Mumba Jumba doesn't back off.

Okay. If he acts aggressive, I'm going to hit him with it. Got it, okay. big mumba-jumba doesn't back off. Okay. If he acts aggressive, I'm going to hit him with it. Got it, okay. So you're holding that, that's your turn? Mm-hmm. All right, now the other yetis go. This one here turns to the front,

and it's just trying to figure out what to do. It's looking at you, Beauregard, and it looks like it's just, it's in a standoff. The tinier one? The tinier one right there. It's glaring up at you, its eyes sparkling, and it's full-on, just stalemate at the moment, waiting for the next person to make a move. Okay.

This one here that was attacking Yasha is still going in against Yasha. It's now going, actually, you know what? This one. Actually, no, that's all it can do. It's going to go ahead and use its chilling gaze against you once more. So go ahead and make another constitution saving throw for me. Okay, come on. Well, you saved from it previously, right?

Say again? You saved from the thing previously, right? I did. Yeah, I think that's it. Then you are immune to it yet. So that one? Yeah, so it has no effect on you, never mind. So it tries it again, you shake it off.

Angrily, it just goes and tears into you twice its claws. Oh man, that's a 25 to hit? No, yes it is. And that is going to be a 12 to hit. Okay, halved. So the first going to be a 12 to hit. Okay. Halved. So the first one is 11, reduced to five, so five slashing damage. Oh, oh, oh, I see, I see.

So nice. Those are both attack rolls, sorry. And then you take two points of cold damage. That's its turn. The one over here that's against the wall with you, like surrounded with you, it just keeps its hands up and looks over now, past the shoulders and sees the large one

and is looking for a sign, looking for something. It's just waiting, so it's holding its action. That brings us to Caleb Caduceus, you're on deck as a mammoth. Ooh, I'm seeing- It used its whole turn to just do that? It's holding its action. Okay, I can sense a little bit of de-escalation here,

so I'm going to hold Chromatic Orb and attack anyone who attacks one of the Mighty Nein. You got it. Nice. Okay, that finishes your go? Yeah. What's up, Mammoth? How smart am I? You know.

Oh boy, I'm not that smart. What's the intelligence of a mammoth? How smart am I? You know. Oh boy, I'm not that smart. What's the intelligence of a mammoth? Three. Three. Yeah, it's not quite a fly. You're half a grog. A moth. I don't know about a moth. Half a grog. Wisdom is 11.

Yeah. So would I get the sense that this is deescalating or would I not? Watching everyone kind of... That's all right, I will let you interpret that how you wish. I trust you, Taliesin. No.

So I'm going to just take a standard, I'm just going to take a gore attack. Go for it. Since no one's telling me to stop. Okay. Lockbox. And that hits. I invented the trick.

Oh god, that's bad. Okay. That's... Where's all the dice I need for this? There's... Oh my god, too many dice. What'd you roll to hit? 28. Yeah, you definitely hit.

Just want to double check. One, two, three, four. Is this right? Yep. So this is... Oh no. 10. He's not saying he has too many. Give me seven. Too many to roll. 10, 15, 21 points of damage.

Oh, that's what I got. How do you want to do this? Yeah, he falls. Oh! Buddy. I was a mammoth. He is, as you just gore him with the horns, he's waiting, and as soon as he turns to go ahead and try and defend himself,

you gore him with the horns and lift him up off the ground. As they pull out, he falls to the ground, unconscious. We can heal him. We're safe. The other, back there, he'll be coming up in a bit, but you sense the tension suddenly escalate immensely in the middle of this battlefield.

Yeah. All right, that brings us, and then Dagen, who sees this and is currently, after this whole circumstance, goes like, That's not too bad. It might be. He looks over his shoulder at the rest and goes like,

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. And he spins and rolls up here and goes, I sense we have Aluak folk. Oh. Right. Son of a bitch. I sense we have Aluak folk. Right. Son of a bitch. And anybody, and looks over at you, anybody, and points over to the one that's now lying bleeding out in the snow.

Like, heal. Yeah. That brings us to Vethskow. Oh. You can heal, right? I've got a potion. I can heal. I will, I'll just pass. Hold your, hold it. I'll hold a, yeah, a crossbow attack,

if things go south. Okay. Yasha, it's your turn. You can see now, as the yeti stabbed, fallen, bleeding out, all the other yetis are turning and looking, and even the big one that is currently taking a moment of calm with Beau on the back, eyes just flick up at its fallen comrade, and you can see rage building in its face. What are you doing?

Okay, I'm going to walk over to the one that has fallen. To the one that has fallen. To the one that has fallen. And then I'm going to take my hands and shrug them into the chest of the fur, stand him up, and then heal him for healing hands. Thought that was going a different way. Right.

Just for combat. Jax, go, Jax. Jax, like Boggs. And then I'm going to scream out, Are we fucking done?! All right, how much do you heal him for? One. That is 13 hit points.

Ooh, oh yeah. 13 hit points. As you lift him up, and it's a massive creature. It weighs close to a thousand pounds. But you are raging and you are furious and you have the wall to use to lean it up. As you angrily lift and slam it up and heal it, its limp knees lock into place as its eyes roll back open. Deadly.

And then I'm going to keep him standing with my hand up against the wall. Just holding him there. Okay, that finishes your turn? Yeah. All right. It is now the large yeti who, the rage in the face, sits there still tense, gets back up on one leg, throws its spear to the ground and goes,

Hold! This is done. And unless anyone has any other actions, the combat comes to a close. I can do a cool thing I didn't get to do. As the mammoth? Mammoth can do a trample charge where I can run up to somebody and gore them and then stomp on them. It's awesome.

Do it. It's really cool. Another day. I've been good. Being a mammoth is super cool. Super cool. So the tension's still high. The massive yeti gets up on its other foot and glances over its shoulder at you and goes, You can release me.

I loosen my grasp, but I don't go anywhere yet. You're still clutching his back? Yeah. Still just hanging on. Hanging on, on his shoulder. He goes, Fucked up chimney-cricking. Stumbles towards the center of where the net was and looks down towards Dagen and goes, You're correct.

Looks at the other yeti, calls them over. Do you let them approach? Sure. The bigger one goes. Often, people who come from your end are poachers, not much for conversation. We've lost a few,

so to take the first swipe made the most sense. But, I ask you, what would you do with us now? We are just going to walk on through. But, um, and I'm just going to share some food,

please, no sudden movements. And I pull out the jar of boba and a cloth. Please don't attack, please, please. Put the cloth down and I take the lid off the jar and I pour like 50 boba out of the jar onto the cloth. Freezes instantly. Don't eat more than one of those a day or you will get incontinent,

but one a day will do you. Make a persuasion check. That is 14. 14, that's not too bad. You watch as they all stare at you, glare a bit, and the one that's holding on barely brought back to life by you limps forward towards it, looks at you,

and reaches over and takes four in his hand. Goes, We're going to have the shits. I'm bigger. Nice and filling. The big one goes, You let us live. You're not our quarry. What is your quarry?

Other people like us. Happen to see a purple tiefling. Looks kind of like her running around, but purple. Lavender. About a day ago. Passing through the same path. Direction you're headed. Lavender. About a day ago, passing through the same path, direction you were headed,

we decided not to engage. They had strange magic about them. How do you mean? How could you tell that they had strange magic? Because they saw us and beckoned us to stay at bay and not get involved. And then showed some really, really strange magic. How many were with him? Yeah.

Five total. Five! Hi, Snow here. Can you tell me what the other ones looked like? I didn't get that good of a look. A lot of them wearing similar bundles as you, though not as fancy. But anyway, will you let us live? Well, yeah. Yeah.

I said we're not here for you. Are these smaller ones your family? No, they're just other members of the community. What did Dagen say? He said you're a part of a... You are, okay. You're what folk?

Dagen pats him and goes like, Yeah, see, there's a small community of yetis around the corner called the Sanctuary, Aluak Sanctuary. Aluak? Yeah. Only a few folks really pay much mind to it, since it's a bunch of these folks,

it's both dangerous to pass by unwarranted, and as you notice, they seem to have a keener intellect than standard beasts were used to. But I'm... Oh, it's on the map. Yes, of course. Yeah, no, it says Aluak Sanctuary, right here. The large one goes over and looks at your shoulder and goes, how many know about it?

Oh no, I believe this is the only copy, so just us. Are there any other settlements of you all that we should keep an eye out for as we move forward? He sits down now, that he realizes the tension's passed. The large one goes and almost has this weird, unexpected teddy bear-like quality as he's now in the sitting position,

tending to his wounds a bit. It's hard to explain, but we're not like other yeti. No, we gathered that as soon as you started speaking common towards us. But there are already out there that aren't like us either, so I can't assure that

all of the kind of ours you may encounter are as cordial. But we like to keep to ourselves, unless pressured. We hunt to survive. If you can promise not to cause any trouble or to share this map and knowledge of the sanctuary, we can carry along with you for the day and keep an eye out.

Watch your backs as you watch ours. We're going to be best friends with a bunch of yeti! Greatly appreciated. As you can tell, my blue friend is very excited. Do you need healing? I'm a healer. Please. Okay.

I use a third-level Cure Wounds. Wow! More than she's ever done. What's ever used for us? Wow, we see where we stand. I look at her and I go, and I release Caduceus. I remember everything. I'm just going to sit and do a quick 10 minute.

Okay. And anybody who needs, yeti included, anybody who needs. Yeti. Yeah. The normal yeti, the smaller ones, there's still a bit of tension, but they eventually calm, especially as healing is being passed out,

and eventually one of them pulls out a small, looks like a notebook of some kind, and starts writing in it. Aww. Some of the others start bandaging a little bit and getting their supplies, start recollecting the net, and they're not much for immediate conversation, of some kind and starts writing in it. Aw. Some of the others start bandaging a little bit and getting their supplies, start recollecting the net. And they're not much for immediate conversation,

but there's not any sort of aggression at this point. Seems the largest one is the most diplomatic. 20, 26 healing points to whoever really needs them. And 18 points to the big one. Yeah, awesome. You're going to take that. I have the best roll I've ever had for healing. The one that's writing in the notebook.

Yeah? Which one is that? That would be the one that was trying to, that was on the other side of the large one, the one that rushed in and was trying to There's a little one writing in a notebook? Yeah. Yeah. Can I scooch up to the one

that's writing in the notebook? Yeah, as you do, he looks at you and pulls the notebook away. Two of us. I don't know. I do call over Jester. It's okay. I take notes, too.

She draws pictures. It's kind of like her version. Okay. What do you do? Do you draw or do you write or? It's my diary. Oh! You were going to kill a guy with a diary. It's one word.

This is like my diary. I'll let you read my last entry, if you let me read yours. I don't really know you that well. What do you have to lose? I'm an unbiased third party. Who am I going to tell? My privacy. You know, sometimes if you open up to a stranger,

it can actually make you feel a little bit better. Are you pushing the yeti? Yeah, a little bit. Show me your diary. Yeah, how could it? Let me read your diary, bro. You may make a a little bit. Show me your diary. Let me read your diary, bro. You may make a persuasion or intimidation check. Your call. What?

Maybe one is better than the other in this situation. But it's better for me. Henry. They're the same. It's said, please. Then your choice. Persuasion, because I'm not trying to be mean. I know, but there are different ways to interpret this.

Is that how you want it? Oh yikes, I rolled a two. For a total of? Three. Listen to the dice. No means no. The yeti goes, Oh no.

Puts it away. It's just very personal. I hope you understand. I do. I deeply do. Yeah. I'm going to get up now. Okay.

When I walk over to the larger yeti and say, I'm sorry to harp on this, that purple tiefling you mentioned, what time of day is it anyway? It's like midday? At this point, I'd say it's a little bit past noon. You guys left pretty early. You saw them the day prior, yes?

Roughly, yeah. Was it in the morning, in the evening? I'm trying to figure out how far behind. Yeah, time, time. It was maybe late morning. Okay. About a day. So like one full day ahead of us.

Okay. Thank you. All right. I'm just going to go up to the one I killed. I really, I was an elephant at the time. I feel really bad about that. I didn't really get that we were backing off. I'm going to be honest, I always assumed it'd be a mammoth that took me out.

I just didn't figure it would be not a real one, which is blowing my mind right now. Would you be willing to accept a gift to help me lift my conscience a little bit? Sure. I give him a Celebone. And show him how to use it. Oh, that's right, one of those.

What does it do? He takes it. It's the brave flight. And it starts glowing and he starts swinging it. And the other yetis go, What, that's not fair! That's not fair! They start running forward, like, No, he gave it to me, I'm the one who died!

They're like, That's not fair. So it'll go for about an hour, or you can just turn it off, like an hour a day, or you can just turn it off when you want hour a day, or you can just turn it off when you want. It's yours, but you can share it. I'd recommend, you know. Fulton painted.

He reaches out and palms the top of your head and messes with your hair and goes, Thank you! Thank you for not murdering me when I was tiny. It's okay. Well, thank you for this. Yeah, there we are. Okay, that was good.

Yeah, his one hand goes around both of your arms. I feel good about that. We should keep going, though, especially if they have a lead on us. Right. The big one stands up. I'm going to just find some snow and just sort of clean this blade so it's nice and shiny again.

Okay. Our move. You could have got full golem on it. Has it? Yeah. I'll send you the details of the curse in a little bit. The curse. Can you guys make us travel even faster through the snow? Yeah. Like a shortcut?

Yeah, you're right. There's not much in the way of shortcuts here, but we have very keen eyes at what might be coming upon the horizon before they get to your level. And we know a few hiding spots and things get a little hairy. Thank you. Little hairy? I see what you did there.

Good one, snow. All right. Well, come on, gather your things, we're going to go. Okay. Yay! Dagen looks up and goes, This is real weird. Thank you. I mean, usually we just pass and put a hand up

and don't talk. I haven't had a lot of interaction with the eddy directly. This is your weird folk. Maybe this will be the start of a bright future between the two of you. Probably not. No, probably not. Probably not.

This is too weird for me. Yeah, I agree. Continues on. You guys progress on for the rest of the day. And with the yeti's help, we will say, for the next day of travel, kind of going through a day and night cycle, they stay camped outside of the tower, or of your doorway.

I was going to invite them to dinner, actually. Can you? I don't think there is a limit of number of people. Oh no, because I remember Scanlan fed almost an entire army. Yeah, but it's going to get in. Right. I don't think there is a limit of number of people. Oh no, because I remember Scanlan fed almost an entire army. Yeah, but it's the size. Right.

Well, I was going to rearrange the stained glass of the components a little differently to make the door just a little bit wider. I was checking to see if there was any size difference or requirements, but no, it's any creature you designate. So the entryway can shift and adjust. Yeah. So yeah. The stained glass that I took from the temple,

I will just widen out the perimeter of the array and the door is a little bit bigger, big enough for the big man. I am going to invite you into our home. And there are certain parts of our home that are off-limits, but we have lots of food and beds for you. Would you like to come in?

Be out with each other? Certainly. Oh, wait, wait. Don't eat the cats. Are you allergic to cats, too? Do you know what a cat is? I don't think I have any idea what a cat is. We'll find out. Okay, well, just follow our lead and, you know, don't break anything.

All right. If you see something small and furry, they're here to help, not for feeding. Got it? Gotcha. All right. Deccan's like, if you see something small and furry, they're here to help, not for feeding. Got it? Gotcha. All right. This is very weird. I'm a yeti. We are out there.

Carefully lead them into the tower and just think up, and Caleb starts to float. They step in, and Caleb starts to float. They step in, and at first it's like, It's a lot. It's a big tower, but with all of them in, it's not as big. It's pretty, they're still squished in a little bit,

and when they think up, it takes some money for them to gather what you really mean, and then when one of them starts lifting, he goes like, and just starts doing the uncontrolled space spin, and is just losing himself. It's good, it's good. They grab their friend and try and pull him back down like a balloon, and is just losing himself. Like, oh god! They grab their friend and try and pull him back down

like a balloon and all of a sudden they start going, it's just this mess of uncontrolled yeti floating. Does everybody come up so they feel at home? This is full on early fizzy lifting anxiety. And then eventually they start writing themselves and they're going, oh, this is so cool. They start pushing off walls. Weapon of choice.

There's scratch marks on the walls as they're doing it, but, you know, it'll be fine. That's fine. It will just recreate. But I'm not taking them past the second floor, the great hall. So there are more floors above, but they're not really built out to your specifications.

So let's just take a rest here. And once the rest of the nine are in, I go to the iris that leads to the second floor and say, Tzu. And the iris goes, Bless you. And I do the same up,

well, no, I leave that open for now. And I start going to different double doors and opening them. And there are very large tables on rollers. And I just start pulling them out into the room until there are tables bigger than us and I just start pulling them out into the room until there are tables bigger than us, and tables our size, and then I go and I pull a rope, and a cat comes running down one of the little aqueduct tracks, and I say, Mitzi, we have guests, big guests, so I need you to make a

very robust meal. We probably need, yesterday was vegetarian. We are going to need a lot of meat. So I would like ribs, big ribs, like mammoth-sized ribs, okay? Barbecue sauce, all of that. But we'll also have the mac and cheese from yesterday, as well as the waffles and the pancakes. That's good. You may want ale.

Double amounts. And some ale, yeah. Good call. Cheers, Travis. We broke him. That'shmm. Cheers, Travis. Mm-hmm. We broke him! Yeah! That's all I want in life. The Necrotic Stone, we can't leave it alone.

The Yetis, we invite them to fucking dinner. Prime D&D right here. He's going to take us 10 episodes to get to the first excavation site. Yep. Is that the episode, might do with yeti? A fantastical yeti feast transpires in the tower. Strange elements of merriment for just these creatures adjusting

to the odd magical space that they've been brought into. The meal seems to fill their bellies in a very comfortable way. Yes? Can I ask what the big yeti? I'll ask all of them what their names are. The big one goes, I'm Gestaf.

Gestaf. Gestaf. By the time dinner is done, too, there are amber spectral cats hanging off of all of them doing kitty biscuits on their arms or shoulders, just nestled in. They just freeze when it happens. They're just like. Where do you normally sleep? What's an average night for you. Well, we have a bunch of large tents and stretched living spaces made of stone and hides.

Yeah? Yeah. They all look over to Gustav, who goes like, Have you ever find yourselves around or near the sanctuary when we're done walking with you. Just say you're a friend of Kristoff's. I appreciate that. And say it with weapons away. Sure, sure.

Your hospitality is, well, majestic, and I only hope that we can maybe offer the same at some point. Yeah. Excited to experience your way of life. It's a little more rough and tumble, but it gets by. Honestly, we're new money, you know? We're new to this lifestyle. Look at that fucking mini.

You're standing on its head, this conversation is happening. Look at that fucking face. What? Like, he's shitting me. That tipped a necrotic dagger into his heart three hours ago. Yep. You know.

I love this game. Weirdest things happen. This is humanity. This is what it's, this is life, man. While they're talking and the cats are pulling the tables back to their place, Caleb goes over to another set of double doors, walks in, and using telekinesis, pulls a cable or a rope out

and walks all the way across the hallway and opens another double doors and connects it in there. And then he opens another set of double doors and giant white silk tarps are taken out. And he uses telekinesis to pull those tops up over the rope and make like white, beautiful white tents on this floor, and cats drag out sort of like sleeping bedrolls, because I don't want it to be too different than what they're used to, to be pulled under the tent for them to sleep in. So now they have a bedroom.

That's awesome. That's arranged kind of in an open space. They all quickly pick out their spaces and lay claim to it. As soon as you finish, Gestaf goes, I thank you for, on all of our behalves, for both listening to reason in a moment of tension and for being kinder than most folks

who wander through here are, so thank you. It's a rough world, but when you can find moments of commonality. Indeed. He wipes a large chunk of meat from the side of his mouth that's been there for 20 minutes, but you haven't been able to point out,

this goes like on the ground. It weighs about half of your body weight, Caleb, and you step back as it impacts. Oh, sorry. Quite all right. Anyway, let's pick up Argenie tomorrow, see how far we get before we have to diverge. If you need it, Caleb can read you a bedtime story.

The one, and it's really the smallest of the yeti, the one that had the notebook, goes, Really? Yeah, I have a copy of Der Zabaleling. It is all in Zemnian, but it is very old Zemnian. It's hard to translate. So, and he just starts reading it in Zemnian. Within five minutes, they're asleep.

Soundly and comfortably. And the inner halls of Caleb's arcane tower now reverberate with a chorus of discordant snores that just vibrate the air. The actual glass of the windows sometimes seems to resonate with it at times. It's a very unique sound. It's weirdly beautiful and it's primal music,

but in your chambers, thankfully, the noise is blocked. But you all have a restful evening in the tower. Unless there's anything else. I'm not by kitty purse anyway. There you go. Unless there's anything else you wish to accomplish before the night is over, you all rest well in the tower. In the morning, you set out for your,

this would be third. This would be your fourth day of journey, which you do not have to roll on the table because you are being escorted by the yetis. Oh, tight! So it is an auto, clear, non-problematic day. And you guys make your way around the bend of the mountain range.

Make an oi. On the northern side. Fiddly-ling-ling. As you get towards the bend of the mountain range on the northern side. Ling ling ling. As you get towards the end of the day, you guys have to continue heading in a curved southwestern direction while the yeti return towards their sanctuary to the northwest. And so there is a moment where you part,

and you see as they gather their things, the yeti look over and Gustav goes, Thank you again, mighty nine. We know. Yeah. Right. Thank you and stay safe. He steps forward and you hug his shin. Pats your back.

Aw. All right, come on. Hopefully, we'll get back in time for dinner. And they all begin to trek their way, and as you make your way southward, the cold gray sky getting slightly more dense with the coming light snow, you watch as the yetis step off,

slowly vanishing over the horizon in the direction of the sanctuary. They might be too far away, but Caleb remembers and says, Remember! Only one boba a day! Yeah, they are. They didn't hear that. Not from that distance. Oh.

Fell all done. Butelt all the time. But another night journeyed. Let's roll one more time for your final day. Boy. It's Taliesin's turn. Tally-ally-ally-ally-ow. Yeah, that'd be great. That one. Number 18.

Okay, number 18. 18, all right. Who knows? The weather is clear, and despite the wind and the snowfall, you are allowed safe passage through. Yes. And as you press on towards this final day of the journey, begin to approach the location marked on your map as A5,

the terrain begins to shift from the hilly white horizon to a more snow-covered, rocky region that marks the approach of the nearby mountain range and the broken ground that surrounds this section. Odd, broken monoliths of stone jut from the ice like something angry punched from beneath the ground. At this point, a voice creeps into your mind, Jester. It's odd, and at first you don't recognize it

because it sounds like two voices at once. One of them has this sort of sound, and you recognize it as Kreese. But then over that is another familiar voice, speaking in unison, saying, Ah, I'm so glad you decided to come. We were somewhat worried I'd scared you off. It would seem curiosity always wins.

And that's all you hear. You can respond if you'd like. Are you pooping? No, it's not me. It was the drama behind it that made it. You sold it. You sold it. I would be so here for it. Fuck it, that is what I say.

Do it. Okay. Own it. There is no further response. Fallen. Molly just talked to me. What? What do you mean? Molly just talked to me. And said?

Um, they're waiting to me. And said? They're waiting for us. Did they say where? I think they're here. Okay. But it wasn't just him. It was Cree, too, I think. And three more? I just heard two voices.

Wow. And Cree talked to you as well? Yeah, at the same time, what does that mean? They've got special powers, maybe? Are they all one person? Oh! Hivemind? Interesting.

Interesting. Or they're just operating on a much weirder and larger level than we've even considered. Do we have an orb near us right now? How do they know we're here? I'll cast See Invisibility again with the sword summoned. Okay.

You glance and roughly about a foot above Jester's head, you see a slightly faint, shimmering beacon of arcane. Oh yes, they seem to be locked on you again. Dispel. Okay. Go ahead and roll a d20 and add your wisdom modifier. Two. I've got a good wisdom, bitch.

I've got a plus five to my wisdom. Whoa! Thank you very much. McClark. McClark. McClark. Thun-thum. 13. 13.

I rolled super god. Sorry. Unfortunately, it does not vanish. Say some false information. Oh, I guess I wouldn't know that it's not vanished. Say some false information! Oh, I guess I wouldn't know that it's not vanished. Is it gone? Yes.

Oh, good. You got it. Oh my gosh, I'm so good at this. Anyway. Yeah, they know we're here. Assholes. Fucking... Where are we? I mean, it's nighttime, daytime? This final day's travel before you reach here,

you'd get here late afternoon, you have about an hour and a half until dusk, and you're still not entirely... You just see, like, for the somewhat hilly, snowy landscape you've been traveling with variations in height, it's been mostly fairly easy to traverse, just skirting around the heavy mountain range. And as you went around to this side,

this pocket, this portion of the valley where this is marked on the map, the ground is much more broken and there are pieces of jagged stone that seem to punch through from the ground beneath. There are heavy valleys at some points, sometimes wide, sometimes very small, but it is a very broken landscape comparison

to where you've been. Have we find a way in or down or through? Dagen, have you been here? I've helped folks find their way around here. It's just... Finding the space always takes a little bit. Hold on. Follow me.

And it begins to carry you guys through the broken spaces here. You can see it's... Areas are almost like pits where parts of the ground almost had small localized sinkholes and where the snow is built up, there's a sense of like, you're not sure if that's going to be actually solid ground

or just a pit that's filled in with snow temporarily. And you precariously follow in Dagen's tracks as he's- Just a moment. Just so we don't do the work for them again, is that sphere gone yet? Yeah, it does not last the entire length of your NC Invisibility. Just making sure we're not showing them the way in. Yeah, like we did with Obann.

They could be watching us right now, not through a scry. Or like, just from a rock somewhere? Anyone see anything? Want to sweep the horizons, do a perception check? Any ledges or embankments or anything? Do a scan. I'll try one.

16. What'd you roll? Seven. I'll give it a go. I rolled natural one, which brings it to 11, but. Yeah, still natural one. It's you roll? Seven. I'll give it a go. I rolled natural one, which brings it to 11, but. Yeah, still natural one. 16. Okay. Glancing around the vicinity, nothing catches your eye.

You just see a bunch of ice gathered in areas where the rock seems to come off at an odd angle. You can see the lengthy icicles and bits of jagged ice that has gathered around some of the embankments and bases. And it's an oddly alien landscape within an alien landscape. Is it at all like the Barbed Fields type of thing? Nowhere near that tall,

and it's more just like a very varied and broken ground. The Barbed Fields was these massive spires, these weird angled, sometimes hooked spires that defied logic. But as Dagen leads you through, it takes about an hour or so, and the sky begins to get somewhat darker before eventually he goes,

All right, this is all looking mighty familiar. It's got to be there. And he points over, and you can see a jagged ice shelf that arches over the mouth of a lightless cavern that descends into darkness below. It would be easy to look past this and not even notice it, but once Dagen points it out, it's hard to not see it.

Amongst all the somewhat rough and jagged terrain, there is definitively a cave mouth there. And once you're noticing it, the presence, for some reason, shakes you a bit. This is the excavation site that you've been seeking. Are there footprints leading into it? Does it look like people have already? If you want us to make an investigation check to look,

you can. I mean, it's investigation, I don't know why I bother. That's a three minus one, so that's a two. Okay. I'm going to snow. Any sign of camping, campfires, anything? I'd say investigation or survival, either way, if you want to check.

What would have been your survival roll on that? Way higher, that would have been eight. Still not enough, but yeah. I rolled real bad. 28. 28, okay. What you do find, there are numerous frozen corpses dragged from the excavation site

that have been thrown down into certain areas of the surrounding ravine that are currently covered in frost and ice. Glancing down at the spaces, there's enough snow on them where it looks like they've been there for a while. Not yesterday. Not yesterday. You do find fresher footprints

leading towards the entryway. I mean, there are numerous signs of footprints. Some appear to be much older, and you only catch elements of them that are left under overhangs as you make your way around, where a majority of the harsher weather didn't quite cover their presence. But you do see fresher sets of footprints,

a number of them that have made their way to that opening probably in the past 24 hours or so. These bodies, do they look like the rough-and-tumble dangerous type or workers? A little bit of both. It's hard to tell. You gather and I'd say you find, with that roll, five different bodies just looking around, some that are mostly buried,

and you wipe off the area and find them. You see one that's most of a person. They all appear to have been cut. They've all been gashed to death. Some sort of battle or assault ended their life. Gashed. You see one of them appears to be a goblin. You see two that are standard humans.

One of them looks relatively what you'd expect from somebody who works at a ballon post. You see one looks a little more kind of almost merchant in the way their clothing is presented, though they're wearing a heavy cloak over it, but their whole front of their torso is just stained red and they are frozen in a layer of thick ice and snow. Any items on these people?

Magical items, weapons, anything like that? You can check. Make an investigation. I'll just detect magic here and say that. Okay. 17. 17, good call. Okay. Make an investigation. I'll just Detect Magic here and say that. Okay. 17. 17, good call. A lot of these bodies, you'd have, or I'd say some of them you'd have to warm up a bit

to try and get through the ice that has gathered upon them over time. They've been here for quite a while. Nothing magical catches your attention, and looking at most of the bodies, aside from what they're wearing and some simple, basic the bodies, aside from what they're wearing and some simple, basic daggers, short swords.

One of them has a short bow over their back. All their money, all their belongings have been taken. Two of them don't even have boots. Wow. Looks like whoever killed them robbed whatever seemed to be of worth. Fuck takes up boots. And this opening down into below, is it big? Is it like a little mine shaft?

What are we talking about? It's about maybe 12 feet across from side to side, and no taller than eight feet. I'll check it for traps. Three people walk. Go for it. Do I see any markings, any signs, any language carvings on the wall that look like it's signifying anything? No. There's just nature at this point.

It's just nature. Yeah. Okay. 27. 27? No traps. Great. But as you get closer and falling behind Nott as not signifies that it's not trapped, you do notice that at the edges of the stone at the entrance,

where some of the ice itself comes in and seems to be facing in the direction of the opening, you can see elements of the stone are carved, or at least have markings, like they've been chiseled and broken. And the ice itself at this place, while there are fresher icicles that fall from it, you see the signs that this has been worked.

This has been... You gather, because what you do as an investigator, that this cavern has been uncovered. Not natural, necessarily, but... Right. I mean, the cave itself was natural in its formation, but it was uncovered by digging and removal of ice forcefully,

and that's the most you get out of that one. but it was uncovered by digging and removal of ice forcefully, and that's the most you get out of that one. Well, this is the pits. Our adversaries absolutely know we're coming. They are absolutely waiting for us. They seem to have the ability to look at us at any time they want. We have no element of surprise. This is the pits.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The best I can think of is to send my cat in and see how long it takes for them to kill him. We don't know how far down they are. Correct. We don't know if they're in there at all. They've got to be. Pretty sure they are. Correct. We don't know if they're in there at all. They've got to be.

Pretty sure they are. Well, remember it was two alpha and alpha, which is far further north than here. They may have been here yesterday and moved on already. Do I see any footprints that look like they are leading away from here, further north? Like they've been here and then they're gone? Looking like they're here. None of the fresher ones. gone? None of the fresher ones.

Huh? None of the fresher ones. None of the fresher ones look like they've moved away. Meaning there's lots of old, stale ones going in every direction. Yes. The freshest ones are... Inward.

Correct. Okay. I don't know. It feels like they're still here. So this is an ambush. This is an ambush. What are we doing? Five on seven?

Could do worse. They're five that killed a really strong. Snuck into her room. We're eight now. Unnoticed. Got Dagen with us. Five on eight. I don't mean to, Gesundheit. Gesund.

Sorry, snuck up on me. I just want to be clear, I'm a guide. I get you to the location. So eight on seven. I'm not going down there. Aw. Makes sense. Such a cool fighter. But we'll just be careful.

We'll send in the cat. I'll go invisible and scout ahead. Yeah! We'll check our six. That's a thing that people do. Actually, your invisible won't work. Why? Well, Marley noticed the Scrying Orb,

which I can do only when I see invisibility. They'll see you. Yeah. I can do only when I see invisibility. They'll see you. Yeah. I can still sneak! You can. Should I try to send a message to Molly? How about you say, where are you? Or clap three times. Yeah, I'm going to try to send a message.

Okay. What do you even want from us? We just miss you. I thought you were our friend. Anyway, we're here. Okay. The Mollie voice returns rather rapidly from your statement and says, I don't mean you any harm. I'm just pursuing my interests. And if you have similar interests, well, I'm inviting you to come along.

You don't have to. Does it sound like he's lying? Make an insight check. Shifty. Oh god. Make an insight check. Shifty. Oh, good. It's just. I rolled a two, so seven. Hard to gauge through a message spell, necessarily.

And you're still a little shook by the interaction. Hearing that voice again after so long, it still rattles you. I never even asked him what his name is. that voice again after so long, it still rattles you. I never even asked him what his name is. What if we join him? What if we take him up on his offer and join him? I don't think deceit's going to work on this one, but. I'm not being deceitful at all.

You don't even know what you're joining, though. No, I don't. I didn't know what I was joining, though, when I got thrust into the Cobalt Soul, either, though. Made it work. What if they're doing evil shit? They are. Well, then I don't want to join them.

Well, you join to see what happens, and then at least we're there when shit goes awry. Right? This is the pits. Let's be cautious. Either we walk in and we get ambushed. We won't get ambushed. We will get ambushed. We won't. Why wouldn't we get ambushed? Because we're smarter.

I don't think that's true. An ambush means that they take you by surprise. They know so much more. We don't even know realistically why we're here. We're chasing a ghost. They've got the entire upper hand right now. You're not really selling your point. How am I not?

They've got all of, they're holding all of the cards. Why would we fight that? You can't go up against the house when it's like that. So? Beau has a small point. We don't even know what it is they want. What they're trying to do or accomplish. It seems like something that we should stop.

It feels evil, but Vess DeRogna is no saint. Whatever that they're doing that's evil, whatever ritual that they're trying to accomplish, they're not going to accomplish it tonight. They're trying to, they can't, they're going somewhere. They're trying to accomplish. They're not going to accomplish it tonight. They're trying to, they can't. They're going somewhere. They're trying to gather something. They've got this book back from Vess DeRogna,

from the source, super mad at myself that I didn't think that he was speaking very literally, that he was taking it from her directly. So he has that piece of the puzzle. Beyond that, we don't know, other than we know that he's here gathering shit for some reason. I just took the air.

Are you getting all this? I'm sure he is. Are we still being watched? Yeah, it's up last for an hour, so I can look. Yeah, no sign of anything around you. Oh, we're good. I say, you're not wrong. They're going to tell us what's going on.

I don't think that this necessarily, this doesn't feel like an ambush because they wouldn't be setting us up for this. They'd let us walk in, I guess. He either thinks he's here because we're competing against him, or he knows we have no clue what's going on, we're simply chasing him,

and he is leading us into a trap. It's also entirely possible he doesn't know why we're chasing him. He knows enough. We're going in, right? We are. We always decide on the plot. I also may have a Locate Creature spell, so we can lock in on Cree.

Even five against seven. He snuck into a member of the Cerberus Assembly's room and murdered her. No problem. Someone that we repeatedly said time and time again, even after she died, that she's a member of the Cerberus Assembly, no one should be worried about her,

she can protect herself. We said that after she died. So whatever we're working with, we don't know what it is. We are following them in blindly. We've done that before. We did it with Obann and it worked okay in our favor, but we were chasing Yasha.

We don't know what we're chasing right now. There is, these are great points. We have nothing that we can do to solve them, though. But join them. How? Follow where they're going. Just go along for the ride. How is that different from what we're about to do?

We're going down there anyway. We're not going to, it's the difference between saying, hey, what's up, and fighting them right now. That's a fair point. We don't have to fight them. So that's the conversation then. We try and talk before anything. I don't think there's any question that we're going in.

No, I'm not debating that. I'm debating what do we do when we find them. I have no problem listening. We do our best to defend ourselves and have a conversation. We just had dinner with fucking yetis, for Christ's sake. I'm fine listening. All right. He's going to watch us as we go down. fucking yetis, for Christ's sake. I'm fine listening.

All right. He's going to watch us as we go down. Sure. I think the more amicable we seem, it means we're not resurrecting someone tomorrow. Yeah, we'll see how it goes. Not saying we're joining him. We have no choice but to go in. We have no choice but to go in. He murdered a high-powered government official.

Looks like we did. Of course we're going in. We have no plan. I am not joining something. I don't know what it is. Doesn't change what we're going to do. We are going to go in at a disadvantage. There's a difference between joining and... This is semantics, Beauregard. we're going to do. We are going to go in at a disadvantage. There's a difference between joining and... This is semantics, Beauregard. We're going in.

I'm not debating that we're not going in. We're not going to join the Eyes of Nine in advance. I'm not suggesting that we join the Eyes of Nine and slit our wrists and do some sort of ritualistic magic. That's not what I am suggesting. And I know we're going in. I'm only presenting a plan for when we encounter them. And the plan is that we'll talk first.

Fine, let's go. You can get in the car with someone and see where they're headed without... Let's take it one step at a time. I like your optimism. If the road looks like it's opening up in that direction. I'm not, don't mistake any of this for optimism, like I have hope.

I'll start walking towards the entrance. Okay. I'm into that. I just don't want anything to be misconstrued that I am joining in some sort of evil force, but fighting it head on doesn't seem like the point. I'm already walking after Fjord. All right, cool. You get it. You get it. We're on the same page.

Okay. Fjord and Caleb enter the cavern. I'm going to turn and kill you the second you say it. Anybody else follow after them? Oh yeah. Are we sending Frumpkin ahead? Are we doing anything? Yeah, I think that's actually fair. Frumpkin's a good idea.

I feel like me and Ash are standing outside of the cave for a minute. I mean, they could have killed us, too. Sure. You know, they didn't come after us. Yeah. Not that that means much, but... We don't really have a choice.

Let's go. This is stupid. I place my hand on Fjord's shoulder. Well, one by one, you all step into the beginning entrance of the cavern. As the shadow begins to take you, and you prepare the next length of your journey into the subterranean unknown

on the heels of Mollymauk, or whatever he calls himself now, and old friends he carries with him. We'll pick up there next week. SAM and LAURA, MATT, and LAURA, and LAURA, and LAURA, and LAURA, and LAURA, and LAURA, Make him a whip! Think about this.

It's always there. Yep. Got a little time to think on this. And we'll pick up there as you delve into your first excavation, outer excavation of Aeor. I'm excited, you guys. Just five more hours, Dad. You got to have my stress core.

You did it! Oh my god, it went everywhere. Wait, you broke one of those? You did it? You snapped it? Oh no. There's little bobas all over the floor. Oh my god, It went everywhere. Wait, you broke one of those? You did it? You broke it? You snapped it? Oh no! There's little bobas all over the floor. Oh my god, let's do this! Oh my god, yes!

I covered it in little water and right in my crotch. I was like. I'm so proud of you, Travis. The grenade went off right in my... That's a good metaphor for germ spread. There you go. Well, on that note, thank you so much for coming along with us.

Don't forget, we love you guys very much, and is it Thursday yet? Woo-hoo! Good night. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. To help new listeners discover the show, please give us a rating and review on whatever podcasting app you're listening on.

Until next time, is it Thursday yet?