Critical Role - C2E126 Worth Fighting For

Episode Date: February 25, 2021

Faced with unsettling visions and a leering countdown, the Mighty Nein take stock of supplies, of lingering wounds, and of matters of the heart.Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://...twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, please head over to our Twitch channel.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators. I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network. Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away, or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. As always, Critical Role will be available right here in podcast form on Thursdays,
Starting point is 00:00:33 a week after the initial broadcast. And now, let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we? Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're Dungeons & Dragons! Yes.
Starting point is 00:00:53 Before we get into tonight's episode, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with the first of two sponsors, NordVPN. Sam? Matt, you rat bastard, don't even try it. Or should I use your evil Haxor username, Ultracodex? You data-fragged Travis. My husband is frozen in stasis.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Travis, can you hear me, baby? And you wreaked havoc on one of our favorite sponsors, NordVPN, providers of highest quality data encryption for your internet traffic, and it hides your IP and physical location. And it's NordVPN's birthday. What are your demands, you motherboard monster? Don't you see? It's these ridiculous NordVPN ads.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Three minutes of endless Sam and Laura, Sam and Laura! I can't take it! Wait, wait. You just want us, you just want us leet code monkeys to stop doing ads for NordVPN? No! I want to do them myself! The power of the Nordverse shouldn't be in your noob keystrokes!
Starting point is 00:02:00 It should lie within the Ultra Codex! What? No, our sponsor would never hire such an unhinged spokesman. Well, they hired you, didn't they? Oh, ice cold. Why? Ice cold. If I can't control the Nordiverse, then I shall defrag all of NordVPN.
Starting point is 00:02:17 You'll have to brute force through us, Johnny Mnemonic. Are you challenging me to a hack-off? But there's two of you and only one of me. You don't stand a chance. Oh, we'll see about that, you rootkit rat. Kryptonic override. Time to... Wait, no, that's not it.
Starting point is 00:02:36 Where is it? Jack in! Okay. Affirmation, Black Willow 69. Firewall up. He's going down. You know what you have in common with pizza and bread? You're much better sliced.
Starting point is 00:02:54 The hack-off is on. What's he doing? Where's he going? What is that? What is that thing? Oh no, Blackwillow69, he's drowning me in spectral pixel code. I'm going monochromatic. Where's he going? What is that? What is that thing? Oh, no. Oh, no. He's drowning me in spectral pixel code. I'm going monochromatic. What?
Starting point is 00:03:10 No. Try techno-lusting his universal soldier. I did, but he just fans are snatched from my jumping jack flash drive. What's wrong? Can't handle a simple eeny, meeny, beaver rhythm attack? Stay with me, Kryptonik! I can't. I can't. There's just too many of them.
Starting point is 00:03:31 He's slicing me! No! Negatoid! You fragged my partner! The only woman I've ever loved! Wait, what? Oh, uh, nothing. Nothing. Travis, you're still frozen, right? Cool, cool.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Anyway, back to the hack! It's over, Black Willow. Or should I say, Whack Pillow? Terrible. I've pwned your friends, and I'm about to gleam your cube as well. Okay. After all, I already know your master password.
Starting point is 00:04:06 No. No, not... Swordfish. Damn it. It's always Swordfish. Damn it. No.
Starting point is 00:04:13 One crypto kick and you'll drop faster than GameStop stock. Any last words? Yes. I have last words.
Starting point is 00:04:23 For NordVPN's birthday, every purchase of a two-year plan will get you one additional month free and a surprise gift. Go to https, seriously, slash slash NordVPN dot com slash Critical Role and use code Critical Role. Protect yourself from cyber attacks and avoid bandwidth issues with NordVPN.
Starting point is 00:04:42 And thanks for continuing their support of our show. Matt, we'll continue this next time. Back to you. It had to be this terrible helmet. It's the best helmet. God, it's the worst. Thank you, Sam. It just takes away your entire health.
Starting point is 00:04:56 I heard none of that. Yeah, it's just no neck movement. Yeah, just full Michael Eaton Batman. Yes. Yep, yep. One eyeball coming through. I liked how you, to see, had to turn the entire axis of the helmet. Yeah. The character choices
Starting point is 00:05:13 are really interesting. Why every time? Not the way I read it, wrote it, but interesting. Thank you, Sam. And big thank you to our friends at D&D Beyond. Oh, the other thing that you guys don't know, they're going to do special effects in post that'll make it look like, well, I won't, I can spoil it,
Starting point is 00:05:32 it's going to make it look like she turns black and white. Really? Yeah. Kyle, is that true? I think so. All right. Whoa! Which means it already happened and now we're just talking about it after the fact?
Starting point is 00:05:44 We didn't know. It already knows, we're just talking about it after the fact? We didn't know! Everybody knows, we're the last to know. I also love that it's turning into a love story. This goes deep. It needed something. Yeah, it needed a little. Every blockbuster has to have that long story. We're all knee deep in that Nord lore.
Starting point is 00:06:03 Nord lore. Nord lore. And thank you, D&D Beyond, the official tool set of our show. Just knee deep in that Nord lore. Yeah. Can we connect at the same house? I'm a Nord lore whore, guys. The world Nord lore?
Starting point is 00:06:20 Oh boy. Until the end of February, subscribers get a free set of cool digital dice called the Everlasting Rhyme Dice Set. Check it out at dndbeyond.com. You all right there? Yeah, we're good. It's so Bob Loblog's Loblog.
Starting point is 00:06:38 Yeah, I know. We have actually teamed up with BlizzConline 2021 for a special one-shot. Yeah, we did. I'll be running a game inspired by Diablo. Yeah, you will. With the players Laura Bailey, Liam O'Brien, and special guests Mika Burton, Carlos Luna,
Starting point is 00:06:56 and my wife Marissa Ray, right, sir? This one-shot airs this Saturday, February 20th at 2.05, specifically, Pacific, at Blizzcon.com as part of the Blizzcon Experience and Celebration. So learn more about Blizzcon Line's jam-packed schedule by visiting Blizzcon.com or via their Twitter feed at blizzard__ent. It's altered, underscore, ent, E-N-T. Con-line. Yeah, BlizzCon? Not live. BlizzConline.
Starting point is 00:07:29 BlizzConline. Yeah. Oh, oh, I get it. Online. Okay. Yeah. Okay, okay. Everything's online now. Some leet hacks or you are. Yeah, he plays one on TV. But yeah, so check it out.
Starting point is 00:07:42 Super excited, we had a lot of fun doing it. Marisha, you got out. Super excited. We had a lot of fun doing it. Marisha, you've got announcements. I do. Oh my goodness. Get ready for a new episode of A Critter Hug with our hosts Matthew Mercer and our lovely Mika Burton. You all know them. You all
Starting point is 00:07:58 love them. They're spotlighting awesome folks and projects in the tabletop community and the new episodes airs this Tuesday, February 23rd at 4 p.m. Pacific on Twitch. And then of course the VOD on February 25th, because that's how our VODs have always worked. And then, in case you missed it,
Starting point is 00:08:16 our second episode of Crit Recap Animated is now on YouTube. Woo-hoo! Yeah, dives into the first story arc of the Mighty Nein campaign. It's super cute. Go watch it. Crit Recap Animated is now on YouTube. Woo-hoo! This episode, yeah, dives into the first story arc of the Mighty Nein campaign. It's super cute. Go watch it if you haven't. With narration by our lore keeper, Danny Carr, animation by Offworld Studios,
Starting point is 00:08:35 and writing by Danny, Kyle, and me. Hey! Yeah. Check it out. It's great. Go watch it. There you go. Get a refresher. Now it's moving into aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Aggressive.. It's great. Go watch it. There you go. Get a refresher. Now it's moving into aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Aggressive.
Starting point is 00:08:47 She's good with that. Watch it. Okay, quickly, we're also going over to Laura for the last bit of our announcements. Oh, hi. I am telling you about this. Hey! Yay!
Starting point is 00:08:59 Oh, man! Me. Oh, hello. Long sleeve hooded shirt. And wait, and also you have the other shirt. Both of these shirts are designed by Brian Weiss. You may recognize the designs, but now they're on new things
Starting point is 00:09:17 and they're in our US store right now, coming soon to other stores. Ta-ta! Yeah! In addition to that, we have... What is it? A Renu, a Scanlan die set. I just showed them to Sam. So cool, purple baggies!
Starting point is 00:09:34 They're really cool. Oh yeah, they're purple baggies, and then the inside has the hot pink. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, because Scanlan. And they're so shiny. They're so shiny and kind of trolly at the same time. They're purple and pink. Are they sparkling? Yeah And they're so shiny. They're so shiny and kind of trolly at the same time. They're purple and pink.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Are they sparkling? Yeah, they're sparkling. Oh, oh, oh, and these are everywhere right now in all our stores, including our new Canadian store. Oh! From Canada. Awesome. Yeah. Thank you, Laura.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Oh, I should say that's canada.critrole.com. Canada.critrole.com? That's what it says on the page, Laura. Oh, I should say, that's canada.critrole.com. canada.critrole.com? That's what it says on the page, Sam. Okay. I trust. I trust. Well, I believe. Canada before CritRole. Exactly. I believe that brings us to the end of our announcements.
Starting point is 00:10:18 And as such, let's go ahead and jump into tonight's episode of Critical Role. Damn! into tonight's episode of Critical Role. The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead
Starting point is 00:11:04 Villains beware Cause you're about to be dead. They got magic and flair. They got fountains and cunning. They don't see over there. There's a monster incoming. Inspiration is waiting. Rise up, don't think twice Put your feet in your hands take a chance roll the dice
Starting point is 00:11:48 Can you answer the call dig in deep in your soul as the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll Welcome back. That was terrible. That was too much. Stop giving a shit over the time we've been doing this. Ah, last we left off, the Mighty Nein, after making their way across Eiselcross, encountering and fleeing from the Tomb Takers,
Starting point is 00:12:19 meeting up with their old companion, in quotes, Essek, and discussing the possibility of delving into Aeor's ruins specifically. After deciding to take some time with the brief respite you have after sending the Tomb Takers seeking another alternative to the threshold crest that they had lost,
Starting point is 00:12:41 you made your way towards Yussa. You went ahead and looked into some possibilities of how to prepare for this. Acquired some friends to help you, to provide some options, some items. Spoke with Halas, shunted Halas. Went and visited Akema and Allura over in Emon, and let them know what you were going to be attempting.
Starting point is 00:13:03 In doing so, you were also provided with some aid from their end, as well as some items loaned. One was offered, one was surprisingly convinced to temporarily lend a very powerful item. If only we could find a way to use it. But you returned to Rexxentrum. And after hearing a little bit of the current murmurs
Starting point is 00:13:30 politically between the Cobalt Soul and other aspects of the Empire, realized that beyond just the tension building an Eiselcross, things are a bit tense here at home, even in the aftermath of the peace treaty that was signed. After gathering yourselves for an evening's rest after a very long day of hopping around, in the aftermath of the peace treaty that was signed. After gathering yourselves for an evening's rest after a very long day of hopping literally around Exandria,
Starting point is 00:13:52 you went after acquiring a chamber within the Rexxentrum Archive to rest, lay down, and a few of you were visited by curious dreams. Caduceus with an odd vision regarding what appeared to be something similar to the grove where he grew up. Yasha with a unique encounter with the Stormlord, of which it had been some time.
Starting point is 00:14:20 And Caleb and Beauregard, who had a second evening encounter with some leering red eyes, welcoming you to whatever odd dream state connection you currently harbor with them. You fucking dicks. And so with that, a day of rest is completed.
Starting point is 00:14:44 A morning greets you. You are absolved of whatever remains of your life. And so with that, a day of rest is completed. A morning greets you. You are absolved of whatever remaining lingering exhaustion points you may have carried. You are healed. But for some of you, not the most restful evening of sleep. As you all begin to gather your things,
Starting point is 00:15:05 what would you like to do? Well, I think after a night like that, the first thing I want to do is strip naked in front of a mirror. Yeah, I find Caleb and do the same thing. I start subtly pulling up sleeves. Is there anything on my backside?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Lift up his shirt like I'm looking for ticks, anything? Are you all alone, or are we in the back eating popcorn for this? I was like, yeah, I would totally be here for support. I think we only got two rooms between the two of us, so probably in front of people. A few of you are seeing this. It isn't like a- So we're in the corner.
Starting point is 00:15:44 In the corner being weird. Frankly, searching each other A few of you are seeing this. It isn't like a- So we're in the corner. In the corner being weird. Frankly, searching each other for ticks. It's a thing. With a brief investigation of Caleb, you see what looks to be a second red eye has apparated in the center of the shoulder blades, in the back. I just tap on it.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Turn around, let me see your neck. You look where the tattoo that she acquired from Orly is, and right square in the center of the tattoo, where the previous eye was, you see a glowing red eye has appeared. Oh no! Separate locations for them, right? Not like in between his scapula, shoulder blades, but her.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Different locations. In the back of my neck? Yeah, just like the first one, different places. Shoulder for you, in between your shoulder blades, back of your neck, and where? Hand. And my hand. So you each have two now? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:41 Are there pupils? Are they colored? Just a solid red. All of them are the same color. All of them the same color. Shades of red, okay. How does it go with the green, with the emerald? I mean, it's kind of nice. Yes. Yeah, festive.
Starting point is 00:16:55 Yeah. Reminds me of Winter's Crest. Yeah. Do we feel any different? Make a perception check. Boy. Do we feel any different? Make a perception check. I'm in Google Docs. Nope. Nope.
Starting point is 00:17:12 You can't say Google. Oh shit, I said it! 16. Same as it ever was. We ain't learned shit. Nope. In the midst of all this chaos and tension, you take a moment to just check in with yourself
Starting point is 00:17:31 and quietly breathe and feel and gauge where you sit physically, emotionally. You don't sense any different. Nothing seems to be shifted, elevated, diminished, beyond just the trail of adrenaline that's still pumping through your system post-discovery this morning. A lot of screaming.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Yeah. More talk of dreams and what we can craft from them. Did you get that? Shit. Fuck. It's not every night. No. But... ticking clock.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Do you think this is, they're counting it based on the individual, or like we're, they're counting it between us? Are we growing exponentially here? That's probably not right. Growing. In ability, in power, or?
Starting point is 00:18:41 In the amount of eyes. Amount of eyes. I mean, it's all conjecture at this point. The only thing I'm feeling is that we need to, whatever plan we're going to cobble together, we need to do it fairly quickly and act on it. Good morning, everyone. Morning. Morning.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Hey. Can you reach out to Lucien or any of the other Tomb Takers? Have you tried to connect your mind? It's crossed my mind, but I haven't tried. I'm willing to try, though. Hey, asshole. I don't know how would we know. I could try scrying on him and see.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Ooh, I hate it. I feel icky when I try to do it, but I could. Think he can see through these? I don't know. Doesn't seem like he needs to see through these. See anyway. I think with his magic, though, he knows exactly where you are.
Starting point is 00:19:48 So what are we going to do today? We could get some shopping done. This is as good as it gets for supplies and anything you need. Wait, where are we again? Rexxentrum. Thank you. We've been around. Heading to Nicodranas soon?
Starting point is 00:20:06 One of the last two stops, as far as I know. Yeah, is Nicodranas sort of a jumping off point for when we're ready to go? I need to go home before we... You need to go home? I do. Okay. Why? It was a piece of the puzzle.
Starting point is 00:20:23 I don't know. I had a dream. A dream. Do you have an eye? Do you have an eye? I have two. No! You know what I mean, Caduceus! I look in his armpit. I lift up his armpit. It's just a birthmark.
Starting point is 00:20:37 It's not shaped like an eye or anything. If anything, it should probably be looked at. It's like sandalwood. Yeah, it does. Thank you. A little eucalyptus. I wear a little, well. I had a dream that made me think that
Starting point is 00:20:54 there's some connection, that there's something I should see. I don't know. I wasn't planning on going home, but I think I have to. A connection to the Astral Sea, to Lucien? To what we're fighting. I don't know. Was it connected to the forest we saw?
Starting point is 00:21:14 I think it was. The one we burned? Yes. Is it bad that I burned it? You think I made it worse? No, I think, I genuinely think we did the right thing. Okay. But... I don't know, I didn't want to go home,
Starting point is 00:21:34 but I think I have to. Do we need to go there before Nicodranas, or? That's up to you. Well, I think we should just agree on our musts, the things that we need to do. I think that Jester's idea to approach my old friends and see if they would be willing to procure more medallions for us,
Starting point is 00:22:02 that might be possible. It would be wonderful if we could hide from them. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and we just plunge ahead. I think there's enough history between them and I that they would agree to meet. Just remember, let's try and find a quiet, secretive place to meet with them,
Starting point is 00:22:26 since they are being investigated. Maybe you can have them come to the tower. That seems like a nice secret place. Huh. You don't have to show them the floor that has, you can keep it a secret. Do we have any other friends in town? Or could we upgrade the tower with some more,
Starting point is 00:22:53 I don't know, like a bell chime, if people choose to come or go, or restrict their- I can already do that. Sorry, I'm just reconfiguring my ideas for the day. We could do that, We could do that. And we do have friends in town. So we could get a message to them without being seen. I could also send a message to them without being seen.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That's a bingo. You know it's what I do. It is what you do, that's true. So, little bit of shopping. School friends. Does anyone else have anything to do here in this town? I have a question for you, actually. Being the big arcane brain,
Starting point is 00:23:38 in your time at the Cerberus Assembly, did you study any of what Lucien and the Tomb Takers do? It's what Molly did, the blood magic. I don't think so. You mean specifically what, like, whether or not I have come across knowledge in wider? Roll an arcana check. Well, we learned that they were
Starting point is 00:24:00 of the Order of the Clarets. 27. Damn. 27. Damn. Wow. You've come across in your studies at school bits and pieces of what's called Hemacraft. Hemacraft is a form of arcana that is considered largely necromancy-adjacent
Starting point is 00:24:25 and not formally taught, largely because it uses blood as a focus and as a tool for all sorts of spells, which, both from a divine worship standpoint and just from a societal standpoint, is largely misunderstood or embraced by people of less than moral persuasions. There are historical elements of blood mages
Starting point is 00:24:51 and people that have used and harnessed blood as a power source, and to do so, you need a lot of blood. It usually involves a lot of bodies. So yeah, Hymnocraft historically is heavily frowned upon by most society and civilization. Those who practice it, there are different pursuits, but the Orders are self-proclaimed keepers of the secrets of Hemocraft.
Starting point is 00:25:17 And you've heard tales here and there about some of them doing good things, some of them doing bad things. They largely wander outside in the outskirts of them doing good things, some of them doing bad things. They largely wander outside in the outskirts of civilization for that reason, for whatever their purposes may be. But that is what you would understand from your studying in the realm of what the Tomb Takers
Starting point is 00:25:38 seem to be trained with. Okay, so I would say I probably dithered about a bunch of that. Was there something specific? Yeah, they mentioned they were, as Jester said, a part of the Claret Order. And I just assumed that was a thing, like a temple or a religion or something.
Starting point is 00:25:54 But does that mean there are more of them? And if so, is it a small group, a big group? Is it someone that we should check in with to see if, I don't know, are there other branches of the Clorette Order that are doing this same shit, or would they be unhappy that these five are talking to each other
Starting point is 00:26:12 through a bunch of red glowing eyeballs? Seems like that would dip into history, right? That would be history. I was going to say, would Beau have heard of this? Both roll history check. 27 again. Wow. It's probably not as good as, well, well.
Starting point is 00:26:29 What's 14 plus 16? A lot. 30. 30. 30. All right, Empire kids. It's the eyes. The eyes give them special powers. It's true.
Starting point is 00:26:43 You know of the orders, but any location of theirs or any specifics is pretty well kept on their guard because if not, they would probably be hunted or at least subject to all sorts of man hunts. But what you both would know is that they, they're a little nomadic. There is no central location that they stick to.
Starting point is 00:27:07 And the few that did exist have been burned and toppled. Probably once they were discovered by members of the Empire or even the Jeweler's Dominion, the very, very beginning, for those who were practicing Hema craft, even before the orders really took place. So it's a little bit like trying to find the Court of the Owls. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Good ref. Yeah. You would notice, with your passive perception, Caleb, as you're having this conversation, and maybe it's the conversation about Hemocraft, maybe it's just the rude awakening that led you to being a little more focused in the morning, but as everyone's getting their materials together,
Starting point is 00:27:47 donning their armor to start the day, you notice beneath Fjord's undershirt, this faint red glow that just ever so carefully catches your eye at this proximity, right across where the sternum is, poking outside of the shirt. Yeah, so I can see why you're good looking.
Starting point is 00:28:07 When we were in the quick hurry to get away, Lucien, while keeping his eyes on you, sort of did a back swipe with his scimitar, and when he did, this arcane circle appeared on my chest and it burned real bad. And I only thought of it this morning because you guys have two more of those eyes. And so I just didn't know if you might know anything
Starting point is 00:28:27 about that. Well, take your shirt off, I want to see it. Wait, what? Ooh. Whoa! The beauty. Oh, it's blinding. I'm rolling d4 force damage.
Starting point is 00:28:39 It's so skinny. Not anymore, bitch! I've been lifted. Is it true? It's inverted. We've anymore, bitch! I've been lifted! Is it true? It's inverted. No! We've upped up our reps.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Everybody, this is fine. Do-do-do-do-do. This is fine. What is it? Do you recognize the symbol? With the arcana check earlier, you do see it's very faint and just barely visible on the skin.
Starting point is 00:29:02 It looks almost like scars in a circle pattern, and it forms a glyph with a series of symbols carved within it. And there's a very, very faint, deep reddish-purple glow. It is old Hemocraft. Fuck. It is a brand of some kind.
Starting point is 00:29:21 You're uncertain, necessarily, of exactly what it does, but it remains on his chest. Well, he rolled a 27 of arcana. It is a brand, the best you can tell is it has some semblance of divination attached to it. It bears some similar marks. Fuck. Yeah. Is it, do you think it can be dispelled?
Starting point is 00:29:45 Maybe. Dispel magic. Fuck. Yeah. Do you think it can be dispelled? Maybe. Dispel magic. Dispel magic. Okay. Let me check one thing real fast. Just to check in on my own shit. Wow. You'd think I would've noticed this
Starting point is 00:30:00 when I was changing clothes, but I'm fairly unaware. Apparently my passive perception sucks. It's like a sunburn. How often do you gaze at your own chest? I don't know about you, but every day for me. If you could go ahead and roll a d20 and then add your intelligence modifier for me. Low roll.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Intelligence modifier. Low roll, 12. 12. You go to dispel and there's a shimmer and it glows brighter for a second and you swear for a brief moment, you feel like it's getting hotter. And then it just subsides and remains unchanged.
Starting point is 00:30:35 It reacted to the dispel, but it did not scatter or vanish. Did you say that it has scars and things? It looks like a scar almost that wasn't there before, but almost like it was branded into his chest. I yell, don't move! And I slap him really hard in the tit. Oh no, my nipple's hard. What if Yasha used her, oh wait,
Starting point is 00:30:58 do you have that sword in you? I gave it, no. Oh, sorry. Kima and I did a switcheroo. Well, I guess it's just the three of us. Lucien, Disciples, we'll have to stick together, all right? Wait, can you three speak together in unison now? Yeah, splinter group, yeah?
Starting point is 00:31:17 Oh, sure. At the same time. One, two, three. Maximum tits. Maximum tits. Maximum tits. Maximum tits. It's Maximum Tits Alley. Is that what you said? Some know them, it's so hard to understand. Their ways.
Starting point is 00:31:31 There's a lot of training. Maximum tits? Maximum Tits Alley. Yeah. Yep. My favorite alley. We play it backwards, it'll all make sense. The street slums are ruxandry. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Qua, you want to go out with the maximum teeth? Yeah! Cool, cool. Well, how do we get that? What does it even do? How do we get that thing off of you? Divination. They can follow.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Follow. So it's the same plan for more reasons. Oh man, we need to get rid of that or else. Well, we keep trying, maybe. Are you able to? I can dispel magic. Why, give it a shot. You might have to touch Fjord's chest, though.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Just slap him really hard in the tit. Oh no, what am I going to do? Yasha, maybe spread your wings, give them a little privacy. No. Like a changing curtain. I'll open my jacket, because I'm big, and I'll just cover them.
Starting point is 00:32:37 That's nice. I want to save those. I already have no shirt on. Just in case. I know, but, you know, she's going to be up there doing things. I'm going to cast it at 4th-level. 4th-level? Should I do it higher than that? Why waste it on the board? It's just a burned sigil into my chest.
Starting point is 00:32:54 I mean, you know, don't worry too much about it. I don't know how these things work. I'm just asking. Well, we don't know how strong the forces are we're dealing with. I slap him in the tit again. Ah! Max on tit! and the forces we are dealing with, I slap him in the tit again. Ah!
Starting point is 00:33:05 Matt's own tit! Oh, man. My hands are cold. Okay, I loosened him up for you. Give it a shot. Okay. Get the blood flowing. Both tits. Lap or place? They'll just place.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Okay. At fourth level, you said? Huh? At fourth level? At fourth level. Go ahead and roll a d20, add your wisdom modifier, please. Dang it. I'm going to, I see you're doing this, I'm going to be open with this shit.
Starting point is 00:33:32 Oh, come on! Why? Really? It's a one. Aw. That was a minimum. Minimum hits. Minimum. Minimum hits.imum tits.
Starting point is 00:33:45 As she places her hands on your chest, even as she tried to warm them up, they're still pretty cold. Pecs, my pecs, my rock-hard fucking pecs. Minimum tit lane. On your chest. Yep. You feel that sigil begin to warm and warm
Starting point is 00:34:02 and then burn hot, hot. Oh, that actually hurts a lot. Ah! And it, you pull away for a moment and you see it glowing brightly and then it returns untouched. Ah! I'm sorry. Did you get it? No, it's still there.
Starting point is 00:34:21 I guess the spell magic just doesn't work. That would be the conclusion that we would arrive to at this point, yes. I feel like this is what the tattoos were like without any of the payoff. It's one thing that I learned in my youth is that after a great deal of pain, quack!
Starting point is 00:34:37 Oh! It's an outline now. Feels really good right afterward. It's just the endorphins. Yeah. Should side-mess. I could try to rub it out. Well, that didn't work with Beau, so. How many hands do you need for that? I don't even need my hands.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Okay. I don't think anybody had wings before. This is a serious show. Sorry. Why don't I have Dispel Magic? I didn't have Dispel Magic up, but I hadn't finished selecting my spells, so I'm torn. What if that spell doesn't even work?
Starting point is 00:35:12 I mean, I feel like we would believe that it doesn't at this point with two of us trying it. Let's go find that pillar and ice cross again. Did you look like you sucked at it, though, is the question. Did I look like I sucked at it or if I was really focusing? Is this like a dispel thing or a restoration thing? It's fine. Look, if it's so he can see me,
Starting point is 00:35:32 he's already going to be looking at us anyway through scrying. Maybe it just lets him know exactly where we are. Yeah, or something. Well, do you have Greater Restoration? Because, you know, we could try that. It does help with curses. Maybe it's like your curse. Wasting Greater Restoration, because, you know, we could try that. It does help with curses. Maybe it's like your curse. Wasting Greater Restoration on this?
Starting point is 00:35:50 You? You're one of our teammates. Of course we're going to. Well, I mean, we're far away. I do. I'm not going to do as much good as this boy. Oh god. So involved. We should go. We have things to do.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Yes, we have to buy things. Yeah, no, I don't think it would help with this. Okay. We got distracted by his rock-hard pecs. Thank you, Caleb! Pecs! It was ironic. His chest was a lot, I suppose.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Sure was. So we're going shopping. We're going to find my old school chums. Then we are going to travel to see your folks. Feels important. Shopping for what? Talk to you later. Just out of curiosity, I'm down to go.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Can you give us any hint as to what you saw? Like, are we going to fight beasts or plants or? I didn't see anything to fight. I just saw that perhaps, I saw that perhaps the corruption is more related than I thought it was, that I was hoping it wouldn't be, and that maybe, that there is a reason to go.
Starting point is 00:37:05 What precisely did you see? Forest in pain, forest dying. It's been a while, to be honest, hours. Does it feel worse than how you left the grove? Feels more acute. It feels very specific. It feels like what we saw. This seems dire.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Do you feel like it's a result of what we did? I don't know. I don't think so, but... I'm choosing to be hopeful about it and think that if somehow the Grove has combated this effect for so long, even if it has been slowly losing that battle until recently, that maybe,
Starting point is 00:37:57 I don't know, there's maybe something to be gained by seeing this battlefield. Make an insight check for me. This is a general insight into the dream itself. All right. Self-insight? The imagery, the grades. 24. Not bad. You know not of the status of the Grove.
Starting point is 00:38:22 There were threads that seemed to connect elements of the Savalir wood to things that you saw in the ruins in Islecross. The imagery, the transformation of the landscape mimicked a transformation to that of the hungry, floating city of Cognouza itself. The ground turning into teeth and tongues, the trees becoming limbs and buildings,
Starting point is 00:38:51 architecture and flesh merging, swirling, twisting, consuming. If that were happening now, that would be awful. Maybe it was a premonition. Maybe it was the importance of what path you're on or what's at stake should you fail. It's hard to tell. Just to say, wow, this is what two weeks does. Would it be possible just to check in really quickly
Starting point is 00:39:27 to see, I don't know that messages are thin, but. Oh sure, I can scry on your sister. Or just a, just a. I've never been there, so I can't. Talk, or? I've never been to your home. Oh, send a message to her? Yeah, just a message.
Starting point is 00:39:43 Oh yeah, yeah, I can send a message, of course. Do you have a favorite or should I? You just tell me who you want to talk to. Let's talk to Cornelius. Let's talk to dad. Cornelius? Have I met Cornelius? You've met them all. I did meet Cornelius.
Starting point is 00:40:02 No, you met the whole Clay family. Okay. There was like five of them. A lot of them, yeah. There was't meet Cornelius? Okay. You met the whole Clay family. Okay. There was like five of them. There was a lot of them. There was a lot of them. Shocker. At the lagoon, after all the statues were found around. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:40:13 All right, I'm going to send a message to Cornelius. What would you like me to say? Just, I'm coming home. We're coming home. Things have been strange. And is everything all right? Has there been any change?
Starting point is 00:40:31 Are things holding? Okay. Okay, I'm going to send a message to Cornelius. That was 22 words. Wow. I'll give it some flair. Take that, I'll make it up. Put a little stank on it.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I already forgot what you wanted to say. Don't! That doesn't count! I haven't sent the message yet! Stop it! I'm sending the message now! Cornelius. Caduceus here. We've been doing things creepy shit. Where's the punctuation? What's the point of doing creepy shit? Where are we?
Starting point is 00:41:25 Stop clubbing, baby, feel. Yeah. That sounds like he's trying to tell his parents you're getting involved with their son there. Heading back, how are things there? Creepy shit, too? How's the woods? Let me know.
Starting point is 00:41:53 A lot of umlauts in that message. Whoa. Yeah, whoa! That's amazing. How are the rewards? Woof! Heading back? What does that even mean? I should've just gone with what he said.
Starting point is 00:42:14 We've been doing creepy shit, too. Yeah. Well, hello. And good morning. Not a lot of new creepy stuff. Woods are fine. Dreams have been weird. Wild Mother watches.
Starting point is 00:42:52 He was really concise with his words, I'm impressed. Yeah. Why I picked him. I let you know what he said. Dreams, huh? Yeah. What? Have you guys tried to make anything with your minds yet? Or to make anything while you're dreaming? I've thought about it.
Starting point is 00:43:07 I just don't, I feel like we need to talk about that. I mean, isn't technically just using your hands, making things with your mind? Well, I mentioned last night that maybe there is a power here that we can harness. I'm trying to actualize or manifest a hat on Beauregard's head. What kind of hat? Like a Napoleon hat. Make it good.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Yeah, okay. A big feather. Yeah. You lose 30 hits. Are you just trying to stare really hard until it hurts? Is that what you're doing? I'm going to take out my paints and draw a Napoleon hat. Damn it. I help Caleb and just-
Starting point is 00:43:42 Make us put a hand check. Really think about the Napoleon hat. Napoleon hat's a kind of thing. I'm staring right at her while I do this. 15. We will manifest a hat. There we go. We will manifest a hat.
Starting point is 00:43:55 Chant it together. You watch as very- Close your eyes. Close your eyes, think a bit harder. But I feel like if I use my eyes- May chant. Manifest a hat. I'm thinking of Easter Sunday. You watch as gingerly, out of nowhere it seems,
Starting point is 00:44:09 this kind of cartoony Napoleon, you know, the great Steve Napoleon of Wildemount, just drifts down out of frame of your vision and gently comes to rest at an awkward cocked angle onto Beau's head. Well, we have done it. He's out of frame of your vision and gently comes to rest at an awkward cocked angle onto Beau's head. Well, we have done it. The power of the Somnovum knows no bounds.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Congratulations and welcome to the Eyes of Nine, Beauregard Lionett. It's made of paper. No, it's not, it's made of actual hat stuff. Oh, is it? It's magical paint. Yeah, I made it out of my magic paints. I mean, I didn't make it.
Starting point is 00:44:46 I'm saying he made it out of magical. It's real hat stuff. The stuff that hats are made of. Fuck your D&D character's name. Steve Napoleon in this bitch. If someone's on Steve Napoleon in Campaign 3. I feel like we should move forward with our plans. Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:07 At some point this morning. Yeah, yeah. Can I, you have an eye on her neck? Where is it? No, it's back here. Oh yeah, with your angel blood, maybe you could, what? I want to just flick it. Oh, flick it.
Starting point is 00:45:20 And just see if it gets mad. Okay. It's a stupid thing to do, but just to see if there's any response to agitating it. Are you flicking it? Do you want? I'm subtracting one hit point. She's raging. If I just tap on it.
Starting point is 00:45:38 What? A steady hit. I could flick you a few times and kill you. Likely a small welt will rise in time, but it doesn't seem to react. It's odd. And much like with Mollymauk in the time that you knew him, these tattoos, they look like tattoos, you know,
Starting point is 00:45:51 like at a glance. It looks like ink, it bends with the skin. It's just an image. So it doesn't have any difference in physicality or texture, other than the fact that in a close look, it is smooth. There's no pores. Just where the eye is, it's just a smooth surface. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:09 Can I, give me one of your not creepy daggers, just a regular dagger. They were all stolen, but I'll give you a crossbow bolt. Okay. I'm going to take a crossbow bolt and poke my finger until it bleeds. Okay. And then I'm going to go over to the eye
Starting point is 00:46:22 and smudge it on the eye. It smudges onto it. Oh. Yeah then I'm going to go over to the eye and smudge it on the eye. And smudges onto it. Oh. Yeah, that was a good idea. Sorry, that's gross now. I thought it would do something. Do you feel more powerful? Do you feel just sticky?
Starting point is 00:46:35 I don't know. I still just feel awkward. Yeah. So that plan. Okay, so we know we're going to talk to your crone. Oh. She's changing. Kill her! Kill her!
Starting point is 00:46:51 Roll initiative. No! We've mentioned shopping a few times. We've mentioned shopping a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we shopping for? Well, you need more puffables. Yeah, I mean, yeah, sure, but. I need some supplies.
Starting point is 00:47:07 I need to get, I want to get a jeweled chalice, so in case we have to cast Heroes' Feast, then we can. Do you have what you need to revive people and stuff? I got lots of diamonds. Okay. And we got, how many healing potions did we get from? We got two from you, Sam. Where are the new healing potions?
Starting point is 00:47:28 Don't look at me, I'm not holding any shit anymore. I would like one, because I had to down one. I would like one as well, because I had to drink one. Okay, yeah, you both can have a healing potion. Are they greater regular or? They were just regular, right? Diet. No, they were superior. Superior, right?
Starting point is 00:47:43 Ooh! Is that this? No, superior. Is that this? The other box. Ooh, they were superior. Superior, right? Ooh! Is that this? No, superior. Is that this? The other box. Ooh, the huge ones? Oh! A little bit larger, yeah. Big honking turds, I think. So what is that, 35 D4?
Starting point is 00:47:56 That's 4D4 plus four. But those are five. No, those are eight D4 plus eight. Ooh! That's a pick-me-up. You need that. Damn, really? Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:48:06 Oh, while we're talking equipment, does anyone have any studded leather armor they want to give me? Oh yes, I do! Oh, great! I actually have the spanners over here. Take this and enjoy. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Talking logistics, so we're going to go to your family, 100% tonight. To do that, that is the most difficult thing that I do, so. Can we use, is there a cobalt library that we can use instead, if we can use a circle, someone to teleport us to the road? Is there a circle at your destination? No, but wait, it is, well.
Starting point is 00:48:40 How far away is it from here? Far. It's far. Far. As far as the Grove? Mm-hmm, Rexxentrum, south of Rexx? Far. It's far. Far. As far as the Grove? Mm-hmm. Rexentrum? South of Rexentrum. It's in Xhorhal. No, it's...
Starting point is 00:48:49 I mean, it's in... It's north of Shadycreek Run, so it's a few days travel on foot or by horse. It's way in a different place than I thought it was. And we have no quick means of bamfing? All quick is with circles. And without a circle, it's my utmost, which we have to do.
Starting point is 00:49:10 There's no easy access to that other than the fact it's technically a shrine, so I have to designate. Leaving it, you have to designate. You have to designate it. Yeah. Yeah, otherwise, travel's going to be on foot or through magical means. But that means that to talk to my friends,
Starting point is 00:49:26 we are not meeting inside my home. We have to find a physical location here in town today. Oh, wait, hold on. Let me see, well, let me see, because I have a spell I could do that might, I got to see how long it takes to cast. It takes me an hour to cast it. That's okay. That's fine.
Starting point is 00:49:48 But I can create a temple. Whoa, what? Excuse me? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? Well, I can create, also, it's not quite as amazing as your tower,
Starting point is 00:50:03 but it's a temple that, you know, is for the Traveler, and it creates basically a world, also another door. Similarly hidden? Similarly, well, I think so? Let me see. Creation of this temple, as opposed to being a door that leads to a pocket dimension,
Starting point is 00:50:23 you need the space to create the temple. I need 120 feet. You need 120 feet, because you create an actual physical temple for 24 hours in that space. I thought it was like a tower. Oh, never mind, that's totally different. But that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:50:36 I mean, that's really cool. That's... Yeah. You have to show us sometime. Yeah, I've never done it. I would have to think about what I would want, the way that you did the tower, probably, huh? Yes, please.
Starting point is 00:50:51 I'm going to start drawing schematics. You also need an idol of the god that you're... I've got enough idols of him, okay? Don't worry. That's just a dick. She has so many dicks. Yeah, it just needs to be a five gold dick. Sure, yeah. Maximum dick. I've got a 20 gold dick.
Starting point is 00:51:15 I've got a 30 gold dick. I've got so many gold dicks. 30 gold dick and 30 gold dicks. All right, so where are we going to schedule this meeting with your friends? We got to just figure that out on the fly. Let's get going. We got to start shopping. Well, maybe we should talk to,
Starting point is 00:51:31 maybe we should send them a message first, if they need to rearrange their plans. Anything to prevent us from leaving would be good. So yes. No, no, no. Which one should I send it to? Eadwulf or to Astrid? Astrid, 100%.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Astrid would be more likely, I think, to keep it on the down low. Mm-hmm. If she's going to. Wulf, I don't know. Say no more, he's a big brute. Is that a risk? If you're saying that, is there a risk
Starting point is 00:52:01 in between now and then of them spilling their beans? Should we just try and grab them? Yeah, is a heads up better, or is it like, meet us in five minutes? Well, they're not going to have a... Maybe it's a meet us in five minutes, or are you available to chat? Or we're outside, come down and see us.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Yeah, I like that. Outside, come down in five minutes is in Trent's backyard. But he can die, too. Oh! No, that's a different city. Why don't you send her a message and just say, hey, old friend in town here, why don't you meet us at the Grim Shelf Tavern? I love it when Sam uses his notes.
Starting point is 00:52:42 The Grim Shelf Tavern. Or the Stone Coffin Fighting Pit, because that would just be fun to go visit. No. We'll meet them at the dance hall. The dance hall. The dance hall. The dance hall?
Starting point is 00:52:58 The Oopstone dance hall. I'm going to send a message to Aster. When should I tell her to meet us? Oh, the dance hall. Dusk! Sure. Dusk! Sure. Dusk. Hi. Caleb wants to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:53:19 It's important. Important. Meet us at the dance hall at dusk. Tell nobody. Keep it secret from you-know-who. Well done. A brief moment before you get a response. Donka, I will be there.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Please tell Caleb, thank you. That's all. She said, Donka, she'll be there, and also to tell you thank you. Well, that's nice. She said, she said, don't guess she'll be there. And also to tell you thank you. Well, that's nice. She's thanking you for the dance hall?
Starting point is 00:54:10 What am I missing here? What is she saying thank you for? Is she saying thank you because we're- She might've been saying thank you to you for passing along the dance hall. No, no, no, she said tell Caleb thank you. Giving him another chance. Maybe?
Starting point is 00:54:24 No. I don't know. What if she's saying thank you because as soon as she sees us, Thank you. Giving him another chance? Maybe? No? I don't know. What if she's saying thank you because as soon as she sees us, they're going to be able to bring us in and it's going to give her the ability to rise up to the top? Well, then perhaps you will all remain hidden
Starting point is 00:54:38 and I will talk to her. Yes. Okay. We'll form a perimeter. We'll stay in the shadows. Some of us will turn invisible. We'll form a perimeter. We'll stay in the shadows. Some of us will turn invisible. We'll watch. Good idea.
Starting point is 00:54:48 Maybe one more of you in the hall. You know, since I have 87 hit points. Yeah, I think that's fine. I'd be in the skies. We can all be in the skies if we have to. Fuck it, it doesn't even really have to be you. Can't you project a hologram of him or something? I can project a hologram of me. Oh, okay. You can't dance with a hologram of him or something? I can project a hologram of me.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Oh. You can't dance with a hologram. Oh, I could disguise myself and then project a hologram. Yes, well, no. I think just maybe spreading ourselves out amongst the hall. It's not like they don't already know
Starting point is 00:55:19 that you contacted. Oh, right. I think he wants to be there. And there wasn't a request to come alone. We had Vess DeRogna show up, remember? That's true. She wasn't there. So shopping, then? Yeah, shopping and dancing.
Starting point is 00:55:32 All righty. So for the day in Rexxentrum, what are you shopping for? Who's looking for what? Well, I need to find a place that sells gems and crystals and amber, specifically. Those are all fairly easy to procure here in Rexxentrum. Yeah. I have very little money. You know what you could do?
Starting point is 00:55:49 You could sell that amazing ring of health. I'm not selling it for... It's 5,000 gold pieces! Not anymore. When they got away with all of our belongings, did they get our gold? I mean, am I just carrying around thousands of pieces of gold on me?
Starting point is 00:56:10 I split mine up into individual patches. You guys should keep whatever gold is on you on yourself. Anything else would be in the bag of hold. I keep all my gold. We learned this lesson after Hubberduke. I didn't keep anybody's gold. I never have gold for longer than 20 minutes, so I'm fine.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Yeah. Oh, that's right. Also, just in case we can find anything else, well, I've been on. I didn't keep anybody's gold. I never have gold for longer than 20 minutes, so I'm fine. Yeah, that's true. Oh, that's right. Also, just in case we can find anything else magical that might help, it's always worth sweeping a magic shop. Like a ring of ice resistance? That would be amazing. Watch me go straight to hell once you buy that ring. I will say, for the purposes of the shopping trip narrative,
Starting point is 00:56:46 similar to your last time here, most of the magical items have not yet returned since their wartime conscription. And the last time you did go to a magic shop here, you cleared them out of a lot of their lower-end magical items as well. Many a cell of bone still remains within some of you.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Fuckin' the bed. Don't regret nothin'. But yeah, gems are easy enough to procure. Here in Rexxentrum specifically, it is the capital, and there are sections of the city that are filled to the brim with all manner of textile warehouses and craft sales, fronts and carts and stores of all kinds.
Starting point is 00:57:27 So I guess say what you're looking for and I'll tell you if it's available and for what price you require. Well, I'm looking for, Yussa gave me two or three pieces of amber. I'm struggling to remember. I think it was two. So I need five total. Oh, two.
Starting point is 00:57:41 I would like a forked metal rod, 250 gold forked metal rod attuned to this plane of existence would be smoking, I say, as Taliesin, in Kelly's voice. He would never say smoking, and it came out of her mouth. I want that stricken from the record. Fair enough. We can edit it out. It's been a day. That's two. So three pieces of amber for me.
Starting point is 00:58:04 Okay, yeah, you can definitely do that. Just reduce the cost. The amber's easy to find, comparison to some of the locations. It's not easy, it isn't like there's, they're available at every corner, but after an hour or so of traveling around and asking questions, you find a place that does have pieces
Starting point is 00:58:18 that will work for your purposes. Do you know how much it would cost? Well, for the pieces of amber that you require for it, I'd say each chunk would be about 20 gold. So for the three of them, it would be 60. Okay. For the purity and size that you need. Okay.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Your rod that is attuned can also be found, though the attunement process of it is going to be partially a combination of you working with Caleb to do so. Like the rod, the actual requisite materials and construction is very specific, but it doesn't come pre-attuned. So, but both of you working together
Starting point is 00:58:55 would be able to attune it to this plane since it's one you're most familiar with. The only other thing is I'd like a little more saffron for my True Sight. Yeah. If I could get some. Saffron's good. Where'd it go? I've opened too many things.
Starting point is 00:59:14 Like, I'll say, let's get three of them, so that's another 75 GP. So yeah. Let's go ahead and mark that off and make sure you mark that in your inventory. Can I get incense worth 250 gold and four ivory strips worth 50 gold? Each?
Starting point is 00:59:33 Those can? Holy shit. We have enough diamonds and diamond powder and everything. So that's 450 gold. I'm also pretty flush in cash if I need to help fund the clerics. I think it might be good to, because I don't have enough money to buy a jeweled chalice.
Starting point is 00:59:50 Oh. With at least 1,000 gold, though. Girl, I got you. I'm going to buy just for that jeweled chalice. Okay. And I forgot. Sugar mama. I wanted to get a couple of pearls worth 100 gold each, if possible.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Yeah, those can be found as well. Okay. Yeah. You're in the center of the Empire's influence, and there are many, many different avenues of trade in and out of the city. So of all places where you're looking for more specific objects, here'd be some of the easiest to find.
Starting point is 01:00:21 Caduceus, do you need me to buy you anything? I got a, whether we use 300 or 500 GP diamonds. Is that our, the emergency diamonds are 300 or 500? 300 for Revivify. I think 500 for something else that I can't remember. So I have one 300 gold diamond, one 500 gold diamond, one 1,000 gold diamond. That's an emergency.
Starting point is 01:00:48 That's for the crazy, crazy restoration. That's no time limit. Right. Oh, and I have one more 300. So I have two 300 gold diamonds. And remember, you got the 500 gold of residuum from Allura. Yeah, I'm actually pretty good. I've got enough to, other than powdered diamond.
Starting point is 01:01:11 I have 400 gold worth of diamond dust. Okay, that'll do. Then I think we're fine. All righty. I would like to buy something. What would you like to buy? I think either, I'm looking for something that can make you invisible, like a potion of invisibility
Starting point is 01:01:37 or even a necklace or something. Is there? Jesus, I thought it was an answer. Go ahead, roll either an investigation check or a persuasion check, your choice. Okay. 19. 19.
Starting point is 01:02:00 It takes you the better part of a day, early afternoon or so, and eventually after asking some questions, you get sent to this small alleyway purveyor of odd knickknacks and mashed materials given as various healing pastes and balms. You can see them arranged on the edge of this cart that's wedged into the shadows.
Starting point is 01:02:28 The gentleman there has this large, red-orange tuft of a beard at the end of his chin. He's scrawny and leaning forward with long arms that rest at the edge of the cart. He pulls himself forward out of the shadow and looks towards you with this paper hat and goes, Can I help you? Are you looking for something? Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Hello. I'm looking for something that could, I don't know if it's maybe a potion or maybe a necklace of some sort, but where someone couldn't see you. Is that a th--" Now, there are many types of not being seen.
Starting point is 01:03:09 Are you trying to avoid the sight of things from all over or from far away, immediate or distant? Well, distant? So avoiding the wandering eyes of divination. Correct. Well. He pulls out this small balm vial, roughly about the size of a hockey puck or so, opens it up a bit and goes, If this is placed upon your person, smeared into the skin and soaks within,
Starting point is 01:03:48 for the next hour, you will be avoiding any sort of prying magical eyes from a distance, immune to being scryed upon. How much is that? This? 1,500 gold. Oh, jeez. Okay. It seems grossly expensive.
Starting point is 01:04:08 That feels grossly expensive. Well, it's of particular purpose. Do you have two? Is this for one person or is this? Well, this is for one person. Single use? Is it single use person or is this? Well, this is for one person. Single use? Is it single use or is it like
Starting point is 01:04:30 can-o-disappearing-gel? Looking at it, it probably only has a handful of uses. Only lasts for an hour. Even though you aren't the most practiced bargainer, even this seems a bit high. And as far as scrying goes in your experienced jester, it may not be exactly what you're looking for as far as invisibility.
Starting point is 01:04:53 It just says Ben Gay on it. Yeah. It's like time for the tuggerball. I think this is not exactly what I'm looking for. It's also a little high in price, so I think I'm going to... Prices are relative to who wants it. He goes and tucks it away
Starting point is 01:05:13 back underneath the edge of the cart. What about 1,000 gold? Ooh, here we go, here we go. Deal. Or do you want to be invisible? It's dying. I'm trying to think how this could work, actually. You do you. Don't let me.
Starting point is 01:05:44 No, no, I know, I'm trying to think how this could work, actually. You do you. Don't let me. No, no, I know, I'm just. You're getting ripped off. I know, I feel like I'm getting, this is not exactly what I'm looking for, anyway. But it's okay, it could be cool. You hear Vector somewhere screaming, I'm from Ivory State. It's a game.
Starting point is 01:06:02 1,000 gold. I'll buy it. He scoots it forward to you happily, grins with a mouth filled with darkened gums and teeth where they've receded from a bit, so the mouth just seems extra wide. His eyes can appear through from underneath his long paper hat and,
Starting point is 01:06:21 appreciate your patronage. Scoops the gold over. and appreciate your patronage. Scoops the gold over. Anything else Theodore can do for you? No, but if this doesn't work, I expect to get my money back, and if not... Well, sales are fine. We'll see about that. Goodbye. Goodbye.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Goodbye. Oh no. As you walk away, you hear the sound of a cart shuddering. I hear the sound of a cart shuddering? Meaning you hear him behind closing shop. Like his cart's like. He's like, cool, I'm set for, okay. He's moving.
Starting point is 01:07:08 1,000 G, no refunds. It's okay. Matt, I would like to buy some things. All right, what would you like? I would like 40 crossbow bolts. That's easy enough to acquire. No major issue there. I would like.
Starting point is 01:07:23 Cost on that would be, oh, sorry, there's cost. I have to pay money? Give a bolt, take a bolt. I mean, imaginary money. So acquiring becomes a hilarious circumstance eventually. All right, all right. Where is the page? There it is. I thought it was a roll of the dice.
Starting point is 01:07:52 You could tell me literally any amount of money and I would just say, fine. 600 gold pieces. Fine, done. I don't care. It's all fake money. It's all fake. No, case closed. B, two gold, you're fine.
Starting point is 01:08:09 I would like, I'm wearing these little earmuffs that have little horns built in onto them. I'd like to get, if I can find some sort of shop, curio-type shop, like a littler pair of horns. Okay. Antler, Like antlery things. You do eventually find one of a number of odd haberdasheries that are scattered throughout Rexxentrum.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Going inside, it seems to be more for, at least the one that you find for your purposes, is a little more meant for silly occasions. It's meant for celebrations. It's not so much just a classic, nice looking hat, haberdashery, more of a place that presents for events and holidays. And as you inquire within,
Starting point is 01:08:53 they do not have a hat specifically with antlers on it, but they can cobble one together for you, ready by the next morning, if you'd like. I'll take it. All right. The whole thing together will cost you 20 gold. Amazing. Next, I'd like to buy
Starting point is 01:09:13 a lovely flower, like a silver flower. A silver flower. Or white, or anything. White's easier. Sure. Silver flower could be done if it's painted. But yeah, white flower you find for two copper.
Starting point is 01:09:31 Easy. And then lastly, the components to make a new fluffernutter. The real loss. Yeah, you can find, and you wouldn't know where to find those materials with the right questions being asked. Just a singular fluffernutter? Oh, maybe I should get enough for two in case I fuck one up when I make it.
Starting point is 01:09:54 A double fluffernutter? If you fuck one up when you make it, you won't be around for a second. All righty. We'll say with the knowledge and experience, how powerful do you want this fluffernutter to be? As powerful as the last one and then some? Okay.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Double the power. Double the nutter, if you will? Yes, double nutter. Okay. Oh, half a nutter. Just asking, it affects the DC of the check. Sure, double the nutter. We'll say for the materials to make two fairly, comparatively powerful fluffernutters,
Starting point is 01:10:32 puts you back about 120 gold. Worth it. Oh shit. Boop. Thank you, I'm done. Not bad. That'll make us more fluffernuts. Mm-hmm. Well, we have to see if he's successful in making them now. Oh. Oh. That's true.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Uh-oh. Materials can be a waste, or worse. Don't do that in my house, please. I'm restocking on chocolate and cocoa, too. Okay. As much gold or silver as you'd like to spend on it, you can market that. Stupid amounts.
Starting point is 01:10:58 That's easy to find in these areas. I was wondering the market, and sort of bump into Veth while looking for flowers as well. Oh, what are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? Oh, I just bought a flower. It's really nice and pretty. It's very, it's gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:11:19 What kind of flower is that? I didn't ask. Huh. I'm not very good with this stuff. What do you think of these other flowers? Oh. I mean, they're all nice. I got this one for you, though.
Starting point is 01:11:32 Wait, what? Why? Well, I thought you could give it to Yasha. Really? Mm-hmm. I was here looking for flowers for Yasha. Are you okay? I'm okay, I just love you so much.
Starting point is 01:11:47 Give me that hug. Oh, I'm in your belly button now. You are. It's a beautiful flower. It's big. I know. I thought maybe you could talk to Jester and she could make it into some sort of corsage-y thing, or I don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:03 I don't know what girls like. What do you think of this bow tie over here at this other kiosk? Bow tie? Yeah, this guy over here, it's like a houndstooth. Oh, I'll take a look. What do you think? It's blue.
Starting point is 01:12:22 Is it houndstooth is a lot. Are you, for you? Like to dress up? Yeah. Oh! Oh, I thought, like a gift. It's a weird thing to give a bow tie. No. No, it's for me.
Starting point is 01:12:35 Oh, then I think it's excellent. Yeah? See if they have it in like turquoise or something. Yeah, the navy probably clashes a bit. No, I don't know. No, I think it looks good. Do we see it on? Do you have it in turquoise? It can be acquired.
Starting point is 01:12:54 You're a jerk, priceless. I don't want to wait for a commission. Just do the blue. This navy's good. You don't have to wait for a commission. I just have to check down the street. I got friends who have them. Oh, you got, no, no. It's really nice. Never mind.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Get out of my place then, gee. That guy's going to die. Thought the customer was always right, but. I think it looks very distinguished. Okay. And smart and not trying too hard. It's just like a little. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:28 I'll take it. I'll pay. Nice. Way to come out on top. That'll be eight silver. Oh, that's just his speaking voice. Sure, here you go. Thank you. Take 10.
Starting point is 01:13:48 Take 10. I sort of asked Yasha out on a date. So did I. I kind of knew. I'm sneaky that way. And I'm excited for you. Do you think you're going to finally, you know, do it? Not it, but like go on a date.
Starting point is 01:14:12 Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the plan. Yeah. Do you think you're going to do it? What? I am going into this with no expectations and on Yasha's terms and her timeline. I mean, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:14:31 It's all about what Henry Crabgrass says, right? 100%. Totally. Consent. Let her guide you. But if you had your druthers. I mean. Yeah?
Starting point is 01:14:43 I mean. Yeah? But we'll see. No expectations. I need a shower. Yeah, sure. Well, I don't know, maybe not. She's, you know, oh, Xhorhasian. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:15:03 You know, like, I don't think Xhorhasian ladies shave the pits or anything, you know? The ladies here. Okay. I think you're going to be fine. You think so? Yeah. I'm so nervous, dude. You've got a flower. You've got a bow tie.
Starting point is 01:15:30 Okay. And you've got an open heart. Mm-hmm. Whatever happens, happens. If you just talk, that's a win. Yeah. What else? Do I need chocolates or something?
Starting point is 01:15:42 I've got the flower, I've got the bow tie. Is that? I mean, I don the bow tie. Is that? I mean, I don't think she's into chocolates unless they're chocolate-covered grasshoppers or something. But I think maybe just plan a moment. Just have a moment ready where you can say something
Starting point is 01:16:04 or do something that shows how you feel. I'm trying to channel Caduceus here, but I feel like if you open yourself and just are honest and open and vulnerable. Okay. You could be likeable. I could be likeable. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:33 I could. I've planned several moments. You have? Uh-huh, I've written them down. No way! We'll see, though. Oh, you're not going to tell me any? Thank you for your advice, Veth.
Starting point is 01:16:50 I've got to go find Caleb. Okay, bye! And just push her aside. Caleb is looking for a children's bookstore at this moment. You know exactly the store to find. It's been there for 60 years and still one of the preliminary kind of children to young adult bookstores in Rexxentrum.
Starting point is 01:17:10 Excellent. I would like to, I'm looking for a pair of books that I had when I was a child. One is a collection of Zemunian fairy tales, preferably one that contains a specific one. And then also I'm looking for, I don't even know if it's in print anymore, but a primer on transmutation
Starting point is 01:17:34 and magic in general for children. Make an investigation check. That one's a little hard to find. Yeah. 22. It's hard to find, but not for you. Especially given that you know this so well, like the color of the binder, the pattern on the spine.
Starting point is 01:18:01 You know this so well that even in a wall of various scattered books, you know exactly what to look for. And the minute you pass by your third specific book repository seeking this, you catch it in the lower right, and there it is. One copy. Oh, the illustrations, I remember them very well.
Starting point is 01:18:22 I'm sure you do. You're going to buy it? Yeah. How much do I owe you for the two? Let me see that one there. Yes. Four silver pieces for the two of them. Of course. I pull that out.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Actually, I just give him a gold. Wow. Oh, wow, wow. Thank you. Thank you. Well, here, take a copy of our zine. I don't know. He's excited. to, well, here, take a copy of our zine. I don't know. He's excited. Oh, wow. Zemnian punk rock.
Starting point is 01:18:53 I am into it. Cool, cool, cool. Not that long ago, I could not have afforded to do that. So enjoy. Have a good year. You too. Okay. And I just stuff it away and head out into the street. All right.
Starting point is 01:19:09 I found everything I need to find. Okay, everybody in their successful shopping. I find Caleb coming out of the store. Oh. Hey. I wrote down all my ideas. Oh yes, yes? Yeah, you wanted me to write them down.
Starting point is 01:19:25 Let me see. Here. I hand him a thing, I hand him a piece of paper. All right, I just give it a quick look. Mm-hmm. That's good, that's good. What? Why? Because. You fucking know why.
Starting point is 01:19:51 What? Oh boy. They're magic. They're not going to last. It's not going to be forever. I will do it. Okay. But that's a lot, Beauregard. That's a lot.
Starting point is 01:20:06 Out of all the things on that list, is that a lot? You wouldn't understand. I walk away. What are we even talking about? Oh man. I am so nervous. But excited. I am so nervous. But excited. Oh boy. All right, lest there's any more shopping to be done.
Starting point is 01:20:38 We could get the ring just raised, if you wanted. Yes, Fjord, we'll go to get, like, we're going to stop, we're going to get some pastries, a lotord, we'll go together. We're going to stop, we're going to get some pastries, a lot of extra pastries to go into the Haversack, because it's always good to have pastries. And then, yes, Fjord, I will go with you to a jewelry store. Okay. Let's go get this ring appraised.
Starting point is 01:20:59 Yeah, I just wanted to see if it's kept its value, you know? You can hold onto it. Okay. You gather all the pastries you'd like. There are quite a number of locations, at least in the part of the city even you're familiar with, which is only a small portion of it, where there are a number of bakeries
Starting point is 01:21:17 and smells and scents that are easy to follow. We just, it's like a bar hop. Right. But a bakery hop. I dig it. Yeah. We'll just bite. That'd be delicious. One day again. Right. Damn it. And then, yeah, if you would like to,
Starting point is 01:21:34 you find a prominent jeweler, fancy exterior, kind of like a dark blue painted wood structure with what looks like crystal chandeliers that are lit by magical globes on the inside of the front way, and you're like, this would be a decent jewelry. I need you to do it. Do you want me to do it?
Starting point is 01:21:54 I do, no. If it's shit, I'm going to lose my mind. I need you to find out. Okay, I'm going to put the ring on. Mm-hmm. And I'm going to hold myself up as fancily as I can, and I'm going to dramatically walk into this door. Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! Hello!
Starting point is 01:22:19 I need help! The place is fairly empty beyond what looks like two individuals that work there. One, you see a half-elven girl who sits up, very short, dark hair, looks like a very small pair of spectacles that are almost so small to the point of being ornamental, pressed against the cheeks below the eyes.
Starting point is 01:22:39 She looks up at you with this nice button-over blouse. Hello, may I help you? Yes, I need your help. Oh. It's lovely, isn't it? Are you betrothed? I was. Oh, I am so sorry.
Starting point is 01:22:59 I myself was once left at the altar. I understand it's a heartbreak. I'm so sorry. Anyway, how much could I get for it? Hmm. Well, if I might. Yes. She lays down this soft piece of material, almost like a velvet or a colorful...
Starting point is 01:23:22 I forget what the word I'm looking for. But anyway, we'll move on from there. It's my brain, short circuits. Pulls out a jeweler's kit and a long eyepiece. He was a very wealthy merchant and he left me on the high seas. I think he might've been taken by pirates. Well, it is a very nice make.
Starting point is 01:23:46 The band itself is platinum. And the ruby, while not magnificent in size, is very well cut. I'd put this ring... Are you looking to sell it? Well, it is enchanted. Oh.
Starting point is 01:24:08 Such enchantments, I believe, are a bit beyond our specialty. Oh. Such enchantments, I believe, are a bit beyond our specialty. Oh. Right. How much would it be if it wasn't enchanted? Just stand at the ring would be... I could take this off your hands for about 400 gold pieces. No, no, no, no, no. That's terrible. I'll go find an enchanted place. 100 gold pieces. No, no, no, no, no, that's terrible.
Starting point is 01:24:29 I'll go find an enchanted place. Where would that be? I have a cousin who would be able to take a look at that, if you'd like. Okay, yeah, sure. Let me just go ahead, and if you don't mind waiting here for a bit, he may be on his lunch break soon. Okay.
Starting point is 01:24:43 She darts off, and the other person in the back, who's deep in a book, just looks up. You see this older human woman with graying hair up in this top bun with these frazzled curls coming off of it. She goes, Hey. And just goes back to reading. You wait there for a good 15, 20 minutes or so
Starting point is 01:25:02 before the woman comes back with another man, looks to be a bit younger than her, also half elven, hair buzzed very close to the head, who comes in a bit scattered. Oh, I'm still learning. I cannot guarantee that I... She's like, this is my brother.
Starting point is 01:25:23 He'll be able to help you. I thought it was your cousin. Brother-cousin. Oh, I understand. The grit is on. Some Kentucky shit. So if you would have him take a look at this. Sure. Oh.
Starting point is 01:25:48 Hmm. It was given to me by my merchant fiance, who was stolen by pirates. Wow. I know. It was tragic. It means a lot to me. So if you would be so kind as to make sure this deeply pained woman would know
Starting point is 01:26:08 the extent of the love that left her. Yes. Huh? Goes. Right. Ta-da! Oh boy. Kia! This ring.
Starting point is 01:26:30 Yes? This ring does carry some magic to it. Mm-hmm. Namely, it's meant for a minor protection. Oh. A little one? Yes. for a minor protection. Oh. A little one? Yes, I'm afraid that the man who left you was a bit, what's the word that they say?
Starting point is 01:26:52 Cheap. No, you don't tell me these things, my broken heart. I'm so sorry. It's not worth anything? Well, it's worth something, but you know, she would be the person to ask about. Oh, I understand. My poor, cheap, dead fiance.
Starting point is 01:27:17 What will I ever do? Well, we could find it under the hand of somebody who appreciates it. For but a small fee. We'll take it off your hands. Well, we could find it under the hand of somebody who appreciates it. So about a small fee. We'll take it off your hands. You know what? My heart, it is breaking too much. I think I'm just going to take it and wear it forever.
Starting point is 01:27:35 It will remind me of him. Because you're full of shit. This is actually a very expensive ring. Okay? Because you're full of shit. This is actually a very expensive ring. Okay. Well, then, good day. But I really appreciate everything you tried. That was a really good performance. They both look at each other very confused and you hear across their mists,
Starting point is 01:28:00 Oh my god, yeah. And looks at the other two, like, what'd you expect? Good day. Keep track of what relative you say. It's impor- Okay. As you're leaving the door, you hear, like,
Starting point is 01:28:19 so are you still paying me? No! And your door closes. Guess what for? It's so expensive. It is so expensive, I got 500 gold for it! What? 500 gold, can you believe it?
Starting point is 01:28:32 You mean 5,000 gold. Well, no, 500 gold, that's how much you said it was, all right? Just a no! No, no, it was 5,000! No, what was I going to do, my poor, dead pirate fiance. That was very mean. I know.
Starting point is 01:28:51 You can keep it. Well, but we should get some money for it, right? I'll just wear it until we find somewhere to sell it. Yeah, sure. It's so sparkly, even if it's not protecting me. You're not going to attune to it? You're just wearing it? Well, for You're not going to attune to it? You're just wearing it? Wulford, I can't attune to this
Starting point is 01:29:07 and also this pink stone that's floating around my head. When we start to get around the Tomb Takers again, one of us should attune to it. You're right. Do you want to put it back on? No, you can keep it for now. Okay. Don't let me get my finger chopped off and lose it.
Starting point is 01:29:25 Yeah, that would be bad. Yeah. All right, we tried to find you. All right, so that ends your journey on that? All righty. Success. Well done. Well done. Worth it. Fuck. Fuck. As the day slowly clambers on
Starting point is 01:29:45 into a dusk shade of dark reds, oranges, and purples, the various magical lanterns of Rexxentrum begin to alight. The people begin to shift from their daily chaos and hustle and bustle into some elements of celebration, some elements of drinking away the pains of the day, general rabble-rousing, but the life and the energy does shift into the night of the capital city.
Starting point is 01:30:18 What would you like to do? Dance it up? Yeah, yeah. Let's just, we have a lot to do. So this is our- Do we disguise ourselves before we go in? Yeah, maybe. Maybe I stay the way I am, and you all find a place to sit or dance or...
Starting point is 01:30:37 Okay. I can disguise myself. How fancy is everybody looking here? I can do, oh no, I can't. This is just like a bar, right? It's more of a beer hall, dance hall. Yeah. So it's not very fancy, no. It's not like a dive bar by any means,
Starting point is 01:30:54 but nobody here is coming dressed to the nines. It's moderate. It's like a cultural landmark. It's a, this is the Empire. Yeah. Cool. We should be outside as well as inside, yes? cultural landmark. It's a, this is the Empire. Yeah. Cool. We should be outside as well as inside, yes? Who will be outside? I'm no good at seeing things from a distance,
Starting point is 01:31:14 so maybe I could be close up and either invisible or disguised. I will stay outside the door. Are there a ton of, well... Yes, I will look like someone who has taken their drink outside and has just posted it up back against the establishment, perhaps too far into my cups.
Starting point is 01:31:35 Got it, so you're posted out front, playing the part of an early evening drunkard. Ah, sure. What? Fair enough. Who else? I'm going to go redheaded, bearded, human male build my atypical, my Fjord Prefect.
Starting point is 01:31:55 Okay. And dressed all right, I'm going to sit in the corner of the bar trying to get the full lay of the place just to nurse some fruit juice. Fair enough. Okay, so you're redheaded and inside? You're inside the place.
Starting point is 01:32:11 I'm inside the place. With red hair. Yeah. I'll be inside as well. Outside, human looking, a little busted up. Okay. But not near the front door, like call it 50, 60 feet away from the door. Okay, you've got it.
Starting point is 01:32:23 I'll be inside as well. Human, woman, long black hair, tight-fitting dress, bombshell hanging out at the dance floor, waiting for some youngster to sweep me on my feet. Okay, you've got it. I'll post up in a corner, in a booth.
Starting point is 01:32:49 It's quiet, just making sure. Different vantage point. Nothing behind me? You can't disguise yourself, can you? Trying to figure out what's best for me. I can make you invisible for an hour. What? Whatever you feel. Are you also going to be invisible?
Starting point is 01:33:09 I could be. Yeah, we could be the invisible ones. I think I can do that. If I do it at a higher level. Only if you're feeling it. Yeah, I can do that. I can make us both invisible. Okay. I'll be with Nott.
Starting point is 01:33:21 You're invisible. I have an image of you just hanging from the chandelier, like doing the... Yeah. We're invisible. I have an image of you just hanging from the chandelier, like doing the... Yeah. Full minority report. Yeah. All right. So you both vanish. I wanted to ask if you have my old medallion, yeah?
Starting point is 01:33:36 Yes. They may have borrowed it. Of course, of course. Just for this. Okay. I mean, of course, of course. Oh, well. Whatever you need, stud. You're going to get hit on so much tonight. That's a lot of confusing. Okay. I will go sit and sit at a table
Starting point is 01:33:54 on the edge of the dance floor and wait. Right. The usual table? Yeah. All right. 10, 15 minutes or so go by, keeping an eye on the crowd in here, the odd hustle and bustle, the mixture of languages, laughter, the occasional argument, but mostly the energy here is fairly jovial.
Starting point is 01:34:16 Drinks and food being brought about. It is as pleasant as you recall, and one of the more pleasant locations you've been to in Rexxentrum. Before you dig in deeper, one last thing I wanted to do is, before this moment, I would have run off to the loo to cast Fortune's Favor on myself.
Starting point is 01:34:34 To rub one out. To rub one out. You got to prep before the date. You can cast Fortune's Favor anywhere on your person. You don't want to go in loaded. Heroism. Geometric shapes. Okay. Matt's red. I just envision, like,
Starting point is 01:34:59 just holding the little black pearl, going, Deflections. Just holding the little black pearl, going... Not the black one. I need that one to go to Rumblecast. One of the ones I bought today. Anyway, back to the table, back to your excellent narration. As you return from your favoring fortune, you've been hit on numerous times,
Starting point is 01:35:26 usually by, let's say one was just a very shy gentleman. He was like, would you care for a dance, maybe? Sure! He didn't know what to do. He's like, I don't know. And he just scared him off briefly. Another one was a total douche bro, who just came up to you, you know, sleeves rolled up,
Starting point is 01:35:45 hair wet back, and he's got his big heavy tankard in his hand and he's just like, Would you like to dance, huh? Fuck off, kid. Yep. In the midst of the sound and chuckles and shouts and music and drums, everything gets a bit quiet.
Starting point is 01:36:12 Caleb is glancing across the chamber to the entryway. You see a stepping in female figure wearing a casual dark gray, looks like a short robe, a mantle over top and a hood. She pulls it back just a little bit and glances about. You can see the familiar lightish hair tumble past the eyes as they meet yours.
Starting point is 01:36:44 And she beelines across the chamber. Did I see her come in? You did. Was she alone? Make a perception check. 16. 16. And rooftops on the street. Yeah, glancing about, she appears to be alone. After she comes in,
Starting point is 01:37:03 I'm going to start wandering around without bumping into anybody, if I can, using my blind sense to see if I can see any other invisible people around. Interesting. Make an acrobatics check. Okay. Wow. That landed off of another die.
Starting point is 01:37:21 I saw that. Should I take it? Yeah. It's 19 plus 10, 29. Yeah. You're not just dodging through the crowd. You are pirouetting and leaping and corkscrewing. And yeah, it is. Yeah, through Zeta-Jones.
Starting point is 01:37:37 Yeah. If anyone could see you with the coolest display of capoeira, you're just leaping and spinning through the crowd in between people, but keeping it to the beat of the music. It's awesome, but nobody can see it. Otis and shit. Yep. You do not sense anyone mysteriously invisible
Starting point is 01:37:57 in the chamber around you, aside from Beauregard. Oh, there you are. Are there exposed beams in this place that I can? Yes, there are. It is a higher ceiling here on the base floor. I'm going to do some dope monk shit and I'm going to get up in the beams so I can patrol from the top.
Starting point is 01:38:14 Make an acrobatics check. It's super easy. It's going to be hilarious if I fail. That's why I had to roll. It's fine. It's fine. 23. Easily done. There are easy footholds on the various planks in the wall You had a roll? Just in case. It's fine. 23. Easily done. There are easy footholds on the various planks in the wall and you just
Starting point is 01:38:31 and you're up there with the narrowest sound. Any sort of slight impact or noise is drowned out by the surrounding din. No worries. I'm just going to patrol from above. You got it. You watch as she comes and joins across your sitting arrangement, pulls the hood back over her shoulders,
Starting point is 01:38:52 smiles a bit before leaning forward. It is good to see you, Brian. It's good to see you. Have a seat. Thank you for meeting me on such short notice. I don't know, I'm very nervous here, more than I have been in our past meetings. I've sort of been trying to rehearse all day what I would talk to you about here. And none of it seems
Starting point is 01:39:37 appropriate. Things okay here after dinner? She glances about the room. They've been interesting. You and your friends travel to Eiselcross at the behest of Vess Drogna. We did. Come on, let's dance.
Starting point is 01:40:29 And take her by the hand and lead her out into the middle of the floor. She goes along with it. And as you both begin to dance, and the tune here is a little more of a rhythmic sway, so it's easy enough to engage, but interesting. It's been a while since you've been in a position to try and lead, but your partner is also often switching
Starting point is 01:40:56 and taking the lead. There's almost a duel within the duet of a dance. As she comes by and brushes past your ear and whispers, keeping it covert while looking over your shoulder, Ludinus has been keeping an eye. Never one to trust, Vess. So he requested you be tracked
Starting point is 01:41:26 by Vostraka. So we followed you. How far did you get? Well, quite a bit until you came to a base of a mountain range and turned into birds. It's hard for us to follow those who are polymorph. But you need to be careful. Ludinus is very well aware of what has become of us.
Starting point is 01:42:00 Knows of your proximity. Just be careful. What does Ludinus know of her condition? I do not know. I just know that no one has heard from her in the Assembly for weeks. And you are the last to leave with them? I struggle with trust,
Starting point is 01:42:41 and I want very much to trust you. I think we both know that's not entirely possible. Not if we're both to stay alive. What I wanted for the Empire as a child is different than what I want for the Empire today. And I would hazard a guess that what you and I want for the Empire today. And I would hazard a guess that what you and I want for the Empire is similar in some ways, but different in many others. I turn around and scan the room.
Starting point is 01:43:19 For? Hmm? Scan for? Where everyone is. You can make out everybody except for, oh, I'll make a perception check. 18. 18. You see Yasha in the corner. You see dancing, not far from you,
Starting point is 01:43:38 Jester in her illusory form. You see Caduceus having a seat and sipping from a drink. And that's all you can see within the chamber, but all eyes are in your direction and they're keeping a close watch. I care very much for the friendship that we once had, but I don't trust you entirely and I'm sure you do not trust me.
Starting point is 01:44:07 And yet, I have come here today to ask you a favor. A few weeks ago, the number one thing on my mind was trying to sort out the pieces after that peace treaty and how to improve things here at home. And all that is gone. My friends and I, we are getting wrapped up in something, a danger,
Starting point is 01:44:45 a very real danger that includes the survival of the Empire, the Kryn, all of us. There is something terrible coming out of the north. There is something terrible coming out of the north. Something that has no preference for nation. And this is going to be so hard to swallow and overlook, but I need your help. going to be so hard to swallow and overlook, but I need your help. We are in a race with a ticking clock
Starting point is 01:45:31 to stop a very real threat from being unleashed. to stop a very real threat from being unleashed. And we're being tracked. In fact, I may be watched at this very moment, which means you may be. Do you still wear one of these? Her eyes still pass by yours, and she grabs your hand and begins leading you,
Starting point is 01:45:57 and the dynamic of the dance is shifted. As she brings your hand up across the shoulder, you see it brush past a cord on her neck where a similar medallion briefly drifts out before it slides back beneath the shawl. She spins you around and pulls you in and switching into Zemnian, just says, These are odd times indeed,
Starting point is 01:46:27 but this confusion is advantageous. If there is any love left between us, I need more of these. And I just lay my head against her head and dance for a moment. Not forever. Not for anything against the Empire or you. My differences with you, we'll save them for a later day.
Starting point is 01:47:12 But I need enough of these for my friends for a few weeks, maybe, so that we can go unnoticed. And I promise you, as the boy that I once was, and the love that the three of us shared, I mean no harm against the Empire or you now. I mean no harm against the Empire or you now, and I will bring them back.
Starting point is 01:47:55 I'm begging, Astrid. As you leaned into her, there's a brief moment where, even though you're still dancing, her body seizes briefly. That limber sway to the beat clams up ever so slightly. You feel her hand touch your back and shoulder,
Starting point is 01:48:19 and she falls back into lockstep with you, and listens, there's that pause. And she just leans into your ear. You're just cheek to cheek, not even looking at each other. I'll see what I can do. Just know there are eyes on you. Which means either we're walking into their trap or you beat them at their own game. As she says those things,
Starting point is 01:49:07 and we're dancing around the room, I spot Jester and watch, tracking her insane dance moves until we spin away. Then I pull back a bit. As you pull back, she pulls back a bit, too, and you can see her ride herself and smile, putting on that formal mask,
Starting point is 01:49:36 that veneer that you've seen before. It drops again briefly. She looks at you once more and Zemunian says, I know you're here. It could be an opportunity. If you strike first. Well, it was good to see you. Enjoy the rest of your evening. And, well, maybe we'll catch up some other time.
Starting point is 01:50:14 Frey line. Cheers, Ryan. She puts her hood up and goes to exit the location. You watch her exit and head out. I follow. Ooh. Okay. I, across the beams, slink down one of the walls,
Starting point is 01:50:37 trailer out the front entrance a little bit. Okay. As I see Beau leave, I'm like, No, she's invisible. Oh, that was it. I will kind of... J.K., J.K. You just swallow,
Starting point is 01:50:49 and you accidentally inhale some of that spit, you know? And you're like. I'll give Fjord a little pop pop on the shoulder, though. I should recognize. That'd be cool. Jeez! Ghosts! Sneaking up on a camera. Right in the tit.
Starting point is 01:51:11 I track just for a little bit. Okay, make a stealth check with advantage. Yeah. Been a cucumber, man. Don't fuck me, Gil. Natural 20, Gil! It's been a while, 30 total. Been a while.
Starting point is 01:51:28 All righty. You follow her for about seven or eight minutes before you see her veer off the road a bit and head into just a small, not even an alley, but a little pocket between two buildings. Alley, pocket. Okay, got it. You're writing down alley.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Dude, I might need to find this again. Side, maximum. Go, go, go. Okay, as you catch around the side, about three, four feet. Three, four feet. Yeah, I'm catching outside. Within this side pocket,
Starting point is 01:52:06 you see her now back against the wall, sitting on the ground, knees close to the chest, and she's just curled up in a ball. Oh. How long does she sit there? About five or six minutes or so. Does she seem deeply conflicted, clearly? Or what is her?
Starting point is 01:52:36 Good. Deeply conflicted? I don't know. Not to be projecting on her or anything. Or is that even her? Yeah. Make an insight check. She seem like she has a big day tonight.
Starting point is 01:52:48 I mean, if you touch somebody and they're on an illusionary spell, you can tell that that's not them. Yeah. Okay, it's fine. 15, 16? Pretty good. You see, in the low light at this point in the day, it's a little challenging to pick up
Starting point is 01:53:06 most of the details of her expressions, the physicality. It's hard to tell, but she spends a good five, six minutes or so sitting there. Is she crying? She's crying, isn't she? She's crying, you guys. Okay. It's hard to tell. But you're caught off guard as she abruptly sits up, stands, brushes herself off.
Starting point is 01:53:29 Allie, poop. And then beelines in your direction. I hug the wall. She continues by and... I peek around the corner, she heading for the towers. She's heading towards the deeper exterior of where the candles are, yeah. I head back. Okay.
Starting point is 01:53:53 After pickpocketing a few baubles, I'll, un-invisible, and then sit down. If he's back sitting again, I'll rejoin Caleb. Yeah, I'll head over, too. Okay. I'll meet up with Fjord in the front. Anything interesting? Yeah, sure, a few things that were interesting. I think she will look into our request. We're probably going to need to reach out to her again.
Starting point is 01:54:21 Should I do it now? No. Should I do it now? No. Should I do it now? Why, Miss LaVar, whatever do you mean? Probably wait till tomorrow. Okay. Give her a chance to figure that out. It's not like there are, oh, here. It's not like there are 20 of these on the wall somewhere.
Starting point is 01:54:43 You, we're all in the same boat now. If you want to keep it on, it's special to you, Caleb. Are you using it? I mean, all of us are. But are you using it now? Well, now I'm holding it. Yeah, but he's peeking at you. Well, he's peeking at all of us.
Starting point is 01:55:01 Probably peeking at Fjord. Should we make him wear it again? Because he's got the brand on him. I'll send a message to Fjord saying, hey, we're just having drinks now, come back up. You can rally. I'm going to walk over. It's a bit like whack-a-mole, right?
Starting point is 01:55:17 Yes. Caleb, you are a very good dancer. Ooh, yes. Yeah, you dancer. Ooh, yes! Yeah, you are. Yeah, you guys are pretty cozy. Sorry, the invisibility coming out of it. Yeah, I love it. That's how you come out of invisibility.
Starting point is 01:55:34 Drinks go all over the table. Fuck! Caleb, your hips don't lie. Oh, she was doing most of the leading. Now we were watching. The town I grew up in, everybody could dance like that. What did she say? How did it go? Do we want to maybe, well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:55:56 They had sex on the dance floor. Literally. I don't believe it. Metaphorically, more like. They followed us north. What? And do you think that meant they sent people to follow us or she herself followed us?
Starting point is 01:56:18 Oh. Oh. Full stracker. She is one, isn't she? Yeah, but she could have been delegating. Oh. I was a little distracted. So all those times it may not have always been,
Starting point is 01:56:35 it could have been, oh wow, we were being very spied on. We were being spied on by lots of people, huh? Some of those spheres, those eyes, weren't necessarily Lucien. No wonder it feels like all the damn time. But it also wasn't just scrying. I think that they were on the ground there. Present?
Starting point is 01:56:53 Yes, they said they lost track of us once we took to the air. Oh shit, they were with us for a while. That was well into the snow. She said into the mountains, too, right? Wait, didn't we fly? The first time you took flight was shortly after you went to your first ruin,
Starting point is 01:57:10 and you were choosing between the Yeti village and you go right over the mountain. That was the first time you transformed into birds and went over a mountain. So it would have been then. Does she know about... The vagina. The vagina. The vagene.
Starting point is 01:57:28 Lady D is off the map for them. They do not seem to know why. And I did not get a sense they know about our old friend. Does she think we had a part in? I'm going to call my vagina Lady D from now on. Lady D is a good word. Are you telling just me that or the table? Well, I look to you and say it, but.
Starting point is 01:57:50 What is the D short for? Dick. Ready for. Richard. That's a good name. Okay. There you go. Blue screen, blue screen, blue screen. Did they report us?
Starting point is 01:58:08 Are we being investigated? Do they think we're responsible? Where is she not now? I mean, we are on their list, I'm sure. One of the most powerful people in the country is gone and was last seen with us. Which is partially why I wanted to loop them in at the beginning to nip that in the bud,
Starting point is 01:58:28 but we do not have any good options. Do we? Have they been following us since we got back? Do they know we're here? Do they know where we're going? I do not believe so. But. I think she said that they knew we were here.
Starting point is 01:58:46 Knew we were here in town? Yeah. She did mention that. Thank you. You said something super quiet, and I was like, what did he say? Sorry, actually. That's okay.
Starting point is 01:58:53 You know they were here. I should have ASMR'd it for you. Yeah, I got that. Yeah, I got that. Is that Sandalwood? We know you're here. There we go. A little bit of rapping.
Starting point is 01:59:05 Well? Beauvauque? Are they watching us now? Are they here? We've had eyes on this whole place every moment we've been here. No one's here, and maybe not physically on location. We got to get those necklaces.
Starting point is 01:59:20 Well, we still need to, we have to do what we have to do. We have to do what we have to do. We have to go see your family. But why are they, why are they watching us? Is there, I mean. Well, Lady DeRogna is the Empire, or was the Empire. She was one of the nine Cerberus Assembly members.
Starting point is 01:59:39 She is gone. Are you, are you concealing the last thing that she told you, or have you told us that? I hadn't gotten to it yet. Cool. What else did she say? How do you eat? What were her last words to you?
Starting point is 02:00:02 She said bye. All right. She said bye. All right. She said, I need to go find an alley. Deuces place, then. No, no, no. Let's just leave here. Okay. There's more, but let's leave here. Sure.
Starting point is 02:00:18 I'll leave first and scan the streets. Make a perception check. Yeah, bitch. 18. 18 a perception check. Yeah, bitch. 18. 18? Not bad. Looks like the expected scattering of late night event hoppers and people finishing, closing up work and business for the night.
Starting point is 02:00:39 Nothing strange catches your eye. Clear. Do we want to get a room? Yep. That's the want to get a room. Yep. That's the way to do it. Let's not even leave the building. It's a cheap room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's smart.
Starting point is 02:00:53 Oh, they rent rooms here? I mean, I assume they do. Yeah, yeah. Right? I mean, not every restaurant has rooms. And then with a tavern. This is an animal. I don't believe you've had a room here before. I think this is more of a social space.
Starting point is 02:01:08 There is a place that you've rented here before that's towards the mud top ward. Oh. Yeah, let's do that. We can also go get rooms back at the Soul, but it might be good to separate our location right now. I think right now, yeah. I think so.
Starting point is 02:01:22 Just go off the grid as much as we are able to. Yeah. Yeah. I'll just drop an oops stone in the hall before we leave. Yes! Yes! Paying for a room. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Excuse me. We know where we are.
Starting point is 02:01:37 Fiona Fancypants, had some burritos. You see this, these two gentlemen who were eyeing you for a lot of the dancing, who've been hovering, sort of that dance hovering, looking for a way to get in there as soon as you turn around and drop the stone, stop and go, I wink it up.
Starting point is 02:01:59 You're just left there, confused and like, What is love? It's in my nose. Oh god. I can taste it. Are you going to the previous place you rented, or are you looking for another new establishment? Let's just find one in this area. That's the one we rented before it was closed by.
Starting point is 02:02:19 It is here, close by? Right? You guys went to find someplace that was a little bit cheaper and off the path in the Mudtop Ward last time. Let's do that. Yeah, we'll go to the same place. Veth, what does your sight do,
Starting point is 02:02:31 and how long does it last? It's forever and always. I can see things that are invisible. I can see, well, I'll check. Creatures, I believe. Blind sense. If I can hear, I can hear the location of any hidden or invisible creature within 10 feet of me. So I got to go around listening for breath, basically.
Starting point is 02:02:55 Got it. Not a mystical oar. I don't see, I just can hear if there's some living thing near me. As we're moving, I'll slip into an alley, summon the sword very quickly, and cast Seeing Invisibility for the next hour, just in case we're being tailed physically. You've got it. Easy enough to do.
Starting point is 02:03:15 And I wanted to say earlier, as everyone's leaving, I will be the last person out to see if just any eyes trailed after Caleb or Vess as they left? Reception check. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I think I know my, 15. 15? That's fine.
Starting point is 02:03:34 Nothing peaks your radar of intrigue or worry. Okay. A short time, you find your way back to the Mudtop Ward. You find a small hole in the place. It's less of a major inn A short time, you find your way back to the Mudtop Ward. You find a small hole in the place. It's less of a major inn and more like partially attached to stables. Three table eating room and a total of four rooms available,
Starting point is 02:03:57 of which one is currently occupied. The others are available. It smells largely of hay and slop and dried grain that's gotten a little moldy. Not the worst, but definitely has more of an earthy atmosphere to it, but dirt cheap. Each room is this one. Perfection. It's like one silver piece a night per room.
Starting point is 02:04:27 Okay. You want to negotiate? Yeah, yeah, I'll take care of it, guys. Before we head in the structure, orbs, rooftops, streets, any invisible forms, spheres, anything like that. Okay. Make a perception check. 14. 14.
Starting point is 02:04:52 Nothing catching your attention. You feel pretty solid. You're not seeing anything of that sort. Okay. Okay. In we go. Do you just get one room? Just the one room? Get a... Yeah!
Starting point is 02:05:08 Just the one room. You heard the lady. One room, please. Easy enough done. One silver for the night. Chamber is prepared. I'll take care of the payment. It's small, but functional for your purposes.
Starting point is 02:05:22 Okay. All right, so once we're in, let's not even waste any time. You're ready to go? No, but let's do it. Do you have any kind of keepsake from home? We're just going to leave. Don't we have things to pick up? Shopping?
Starting point is 02:05:38 Don't you want to talk to her again tomorrow? Yeah, is she going to give us stuff? We don't know. So we're going to go and come back? Well, we don't have a lot of time. Yeah? So the question is, do we wait a day here in town? We could.
Starting point is 02:05:57 At least to see what she says in the morning? I think it might be worth it. We could go, that's true. Your call. I feel confident that home is home right now. I mean, I don't care, going and coming back, but we have no idea how long that's going to take. Well, okay.
Starting point is 02:06:17 Okay, boy, so many things. So many things. Well, hang on, because you, we left in a hurry. Oh! Where did everything, where do we stand with her? How were you feeling? Because I tracked her to an alley.
Starting point is 02:06:35 She seems real sad. Sad? Yeah, I think she had a little breakdown, a little cry sesh. Well, wouldn't you if you wanted to be with this amazing young man and couldn't be because of circumstances tearing you apart? Absolutely, I think that could be
Starting point is 02:06:53 potentially one of a dozen reasons. Feel for her, man. She skirted the issue of taking the old man out. Wait, what? You mean Trent? Or Ludinus? Or? Or both. She didn't say, but I assume she meant Trent.
Starting point is 02:07:14 Holy shit, Caleb. As in she would help or she? Is suggesting it? Yeah. She was encouraging. Then fucking let's do it. Yeah. I think she was encouraging. Then fucking let's do it! Yeah, that guy's the worst. What did she say?
Starting point is 02:07:31 How did she phrase it? She said that she thought this was the time if we struck first. How do you feel about that? Yes, it could be a trap. He could have sent her. Yeah, if they know we're around, they think that we killed Vess and then she sends us after Trent, too.
Starting point is 02:08:04 Two Assembly members? Do you stuff up? I do, for an hour. How's the room that we're in? Looking around. Don't see anything that catches your worry. How's the scar? Ah.
Starting point is 02:08:19 I mean, is it glowing around your finger? It's not really the scar so much as my rock-hard pecs that I'll still throw. Ah! Don't say pecs. Show the scar. How it keeps reforming is beyond me, but that's cool. You think it matters?
Starting point is 02:08:37 Just so many prickle-able shirts. I feel like they could just be switching between us. It couldn't hurt. I mean, what if she was? Caleb just slumps to the ground, head between his legs and sticks his own head into his hands. It's okay, Caleb. We'll figure this out.
Starting point is 02:08:55 Can I just ask you straight out? I've been wanting to for forever. If you had Trent Ikithon tied to a chair and he was powerless and it was up to you whether he lived or died, what would you want? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Is everything wrong with this place?
Starting point is 02:09:34 But we have so much to do right now, and I don't know what she's playing at. So if the time was right, and circumstance would allow, although part of me questions is if that is, if that is some part of a game that he is playing in and of itself. But he's spoiled a lot of
Starting point is 02:10:07 young people from this country. And he shouldn't be doing it anymore. I do have some hesitation because I don't know what will, what fills that vacuum. I don't know. Astrid? Eadwulf? You? What fills that vacuum? I don't know. Astrid? Adolf? You?
Starting point is 02:10:31 You. Would you consider filling that void? And what? Contradict the king? Changed it. Seems like they have no problem doing it. I mean, you could, in theory, effect change from the inside.
Starting point is 02:10:51 I mean, this is all conceptual, of course, but. I mean, it's possible that all this will get taken care of for us. Didn't you say, Beau, that the king was opposed to the Assembly members right now? There's infighting going on, right? There's a lot of infighting and a lot of incongruent information being tossed around.
Starting point is 02:11:17 I don't know. When have you ever found that the wheels of justice sort of just turn in the right direction? Yeah. And the infighting has ebbed and flowed for centuries, as long as Ludinus has been in power and before. We were not necessarily immune to it, either. We were with Vess when she died.
Starting point is 02:11:35 Yeah, but Vess got picked off easy, and if Trent is out of favor, it would be quite opportune. It just also looks like an amazing way to get us to be tied to the deaths of two huge Serpent's Assembly members. Absolutely. So the question is, was Astrid slumped in an alleyway crying
Starting point is 02:11:56 because she misses you? Or was she slumped in an alleyway crying because she's trying to set you up. And she knows that's fucking shitty. Should I ask her? I got a better idea. If we get a hold of her, she comes through,
Starting point is 02:12:25 we're going to have to have one more conversation. It's a perfect opportunity for Zone of Truth. Make a room where we have to lay our cards on the table. You got any feelings from that god of yours? Hmm? Got any feelings from that god of yours? Hmm? Got any feelings from that god of yours? Ooh. Oh, I can ask.
Starting point is 02:12:51 Ooh. I can ask Arty. Arty? Yeah. He's real good at telling when people are lying and stuff. I could ask, but it's not really where we come from. It would probably, Jester's duty may be a little more inclined. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:13:06 Yeah, I'll take a few minutes and cast Commune. All righty. As you all settle into this chamber, the senses grow steadily more perturbed by the aromas that seem to permeate the inside of this chamber. The stains across the wooden floor and the furniture tell a number of stories in parts that leave the imagination to consider
Starting point is 02:13:35 where the rest of the story may have gone. Gross. But you complete the ritual and you watch as, within the central circle that you're sitting, you glance up into the ceiling of the room you're in, and Artie is up on the roof looking down at you as this hood falls back and he goes, Hello, dear. What is it you wanted?
Starting point is 02:13:57 And he drifts onto the ground next to you. The cloak, almost like a Batman landing. We see or just she sees? Just she sees. Well, just like a Batman landing. We see or just she sees? Just she sees. Well, just me today, fun. Okay. So you know how Caleb was just talking to Asterid and she was saying all these contradicting things
Starting point is 02:14:17 and saying they know that we're here. Is she setting us up for a trap? It's challenging when individuals are duplicitous by nature, at least by the teachings they've undergone. I can't straight out tell you what a person's feeling, but I can gather she's certainly an opportunist. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. She's certainly an opportunist. Okay. That's an opportunist. I really should have thought about things
Starting point is 02:14:59 I was going to ask you before. That's all right. You could ask me about how my day was. Well, hang on a second, I only get a few of these things. Hmm. Anything you guys want to ask him? What?
Starting point is 02:15:16 Smacks your tit. Ah! And now you all can see our tagging. Ah! All right. Fucking arch me! What, all the cool kids were doing it, I'm sorry. Oh man.
Starting point is 02:15:37 Did you say, is the grove safe? Is the grove safer now? Oh, is the grove safer now? Because this is his home. He looks up for a second, closes his eyes. Hmm, same musty smell it always seems to carry. I don't think it's an immediate danger. That's good to know. Good to know.
Starting point is 02:15:54 How about, is Trent Ikithon home, or is Trent Ikithon watching us? Or is he... Is Trent, I should say, or Ludinus, because we need to know. You don't get two questions, but sure. Do you? Is Trent, I should say, or Ludinus, because we need to know. You don't get two questions, but sure. Well, it's one question.
Starting point is 02:16:10 Yeah, sure. You don't have to specify who, that's the problem. Is someone watching us is not a good question. No, that's a dumb question. I want to know if Trent. Would attacking Trent right now be in our favor? Ooh, that's a good one, what he said. I love the answer to that.
Starting point is 02:16:24 That could be sick, it could be out of favor, it could be... Would fighting, would attacking Trent Ikithong right now be in our favor? This very moment, likely not. So no. Bitch. Yes, he definitely is setting us up.
Starting point is 02:16:44 How was your day? My day was fine. I'm just glad you decided to check in. I'm a little bit wary of your choice in decor. I think you're worth a lot more than such a chamber. I mean, it's a bit of a step down. I know it's stinky in here, but we were trying to be secret.
Starting point is 02:17:04 Well, you're doing it well. I mean, I certainly can't be seen here. Bye. I love him so much, you guys. You don't turn it down. Yeah, you gather the final answer was inconclusive, taking what you're saying literally and being right now this very moment?
Starting point is 02:17:26 Right now? No. But it's a hard question to answer. I think she sees Caleb as a pawn. I don't. I genuinely don't. I think she's conflicted. I think she loves you. I think she loves you, Caleb. I don't think she loves me, Jester.
Starting point is 02:17:44 It has been a very long time since I was. Do you love her? I care for her, but it doesn't matter. If it came down to it and Astrid asked you to do something that went against everything you stood for now, because it would help her, would you do it? No.
Starting point is 02:18:06 But then we can't trust her to do the same. I think she sees Caleb as an opportunity to better her situation. Not in an evil way. I think she sees you as someone who is capable of doing what she is afraid to. Mm-hmm. That had occurred to me.
Starting point is 02:18:24 Maybe, maybe we can just keep the pretense up long enough who is capable of doing what she is afraid to. Mm-hmm. That had occurred to me. Maybe we can just keep the pretense up long enough to get the favor. I will say that I don't like making decisions based on what we think other people are feeling, because we have no idea what's in her mind. We just got fed a bunch of bullshit by your fake god. We should make decisions based on what we want to do
Starting point is 02:18:51 and what we think is right. I'm not making decisions based off of what the fey gentleman said. I'm going off of what I've read on her in the moment. Which was that she can't be trusted? She's ambitious. And I would not be shocked if Trent were removed, if she were to fill that place,
Starting point is 02:19:21 and I don't get the sense that things would improve much. I don't really care about her or what she does, or this place or these people. All I care about is what you do and how you control your destiny. I've heard you say that you don't want to forget about your past, and that's admirable. I've heard you say that you want to go back
Starting point is 02:19:47 and fix your past, which is... Fairytale. Interesting. But I think the most concrete thing that you can do is seize control of your past. Go make of it what you wish. If this man wronged you, fix it.
Starting point is 02:20:07 Fix him. Get rid of him. Put it behind you. Get closure. Burn your past. That's what you have to do for you. Not for her. I've weighed that very thing for many, many years, Feth.
Starting point is 02:20:30 And in the past, I was not strong enough to do it or brave enough to do it. Didn't even seem like a possibility until recent time, but now we have a lot to do that is more important than... Nothing is more important than you. If that thing comes through a hole in the ice, there could be no more empire, no more dynasty, nothing.
Starting point is 02:21:04 And I don't know what's happening with this or that. I don't want to waste our time to have us fall on the top of the world. Yeah, I want him dead. He's ruined my life. He took my life away from me. Then I fucking helped! But I'm not going to risk all of you right now. We need to get ready and we need to go north
Starting point is 02:21:42 and finish what we started. Is that your fear of making that decision? There are things way bigger than my personal grievances, as painful as they are. Save it for a rainy day is all I can say right now. Every day's rainy. When we save the world,
Starting point is 02:22:19 we'll come back and kill Trent. And if we don't, he'll probably die anyway. Yeah. Silver linings. we don't, he'll probably die anyway. Yeah. Silver Linings. I don't have to be the one. I don't know. We just need something better, Caduceus. I think you're making the right choice. I think they're making the time and a place, but.
Starting point is 02:22:53 Thank you. Your concern is appreciated, truly. Thank you. For now, if you are all right with this, we stay here tonight, like you said. We reach out to her again tomorrow, see if anything can be gleaned. And maybe some of us can have some little bit of pleasure for one night.
Starting point is 02:23:32 Give me one second. It says Caleb, not Liam. Okay. He pulls out Kalyana's wand and sits on the ground and starts to begin the process for creating the tower here in this shitty sheep's quarters. All right. As he does that, I'll use the rest of the sea invisibility to make sure no one's watching him do that in the throne.
Starting point is 02:24:06 Perception check. Guidance. What does Guidance give me on the air? Additional d4. Additional d4. Four. Eight. Oh god.
Starting point is 02:24:19 Wow. Thank god. Feeling pretty solid. You got this place on lockdown. We airtight, fam. Oh. And with the completion of the casting, the familiar door reveals itself, the tower interior awaiting your entry.
Starting point is 02:24:43 Now, I regret to inform the majority of you and myself that we will in fact be sleeping in this shithole. Beauregard, Yasha, the tower is yours. Oh, we're doing this tonight? We're doing this tonight. Oh yes. What are doing this tonight. Oh yes. What are we doing tonight?
Starting point is 02:25:08 I push Yasha into the door. I pull out my flower. Yasha's gone. You can do this. Is that a flower? Jett's guiding you to the door. I'm going to go on a date, bye! The door closes behind as the rest of you stand there
Starting point is 02:25:27 in the rather cramped, unpleasant, but functional quarters for your night's rest at the behest of Caleb. Okay. No! Let me put the alarm spell on the shitty door. Yeah, yeah, yeah, please, yeah. I thought we were going to do this tomorrow night. Yeah, I don't care. And we're going to take a break.
Starting point is 02:25:47 That's not good! Because we're past break time. That went a little long, my apologies. 45 more minutes to think about things, fuck! We'll come back here in a few minutes to see what the evening in the tower holds in store for these two members of the Mighty Nein. We'll see you guys in a few minutes.
Starting point is 02:26:07 Too much attention on me. We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast to bring you news of dangerous treasures that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops. Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out. In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer, and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too. If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops through the Shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye.
Starting point is 02:26:34 Okay, back to the show. And welcome back. So, as we left off, the door slammed shut behind Beauregard as the both of you stand in the bottom of Caleb's nine-sided tower, freshly renovated. Caleb, take it away. Yeah, so this is Caleb's tower,
Starting point is 02:27:00 so the narration will sound a little like Caleb. But with very white music playing in the background. That's right. That's right. Welcome, Mighty Nein. So you are in the entryway where you have been several times. It is a very tall, nine-sided chamber.
Starting point is 02:27:15 Wait, is this narrated? Like an airport? Yes, from over here. No, no, it's not. I sort of put in some requests to Caleb. I don't know how any of this is going to turn out. Art is subjective to interpretation, right? I love art, so this is perfect. This will be like a weird gallery of what I wanted
Starting point is 02:27:39 and what we got. Okay. Yeah. I'm in. Okay. Will you go'm in. Okay. Will you go on a date with me? I thought this was going to happen earlier. I'm kind of fast-tracking things now. I, yes, I would love to go on a date with you.
Starting point is 02:27:55 I was thinking this was going to happen later as well, so I'm not as prepared. Me neither. I didn't take a shower. I have really bad BO. I like BO. It's great. So I'm Trujassian. I can't take a shower. I have really bad BO. I like BO. It's great. So I'm Drahasian.
Starting point is 02:28:07 I can't smell. I'm in. Okay. I, wow. This feels weird that they're all sleeping out there and we're having a great time, but fuck it. I kind of thought this was going to happen in Nicodranas when Veth was going to be with her husband,
Starting point is 02:28:25 and Jester and Fjord would go bone somewhere. I don't know. I thought it wouldn't be a thing. Here you go, you're in, and everybody's outside. But listen. I feel like, it feels like the world is ending all the time, so we might as well. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:28:51 Cheers to that. I'd love you to just get ready real quick, and I put on my bow tie. Okay. I just do a quick comb with my fingers. You hear a bell go, ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling, and right down at your feet is Frumpkin, the cat. And he has a little silver bell
Starting point is 02:29:13 that you've seen Caleb use with his spellcasting before, tied with a ribbon to his tail. And he just looks up at you, and turns and begins to go up the spiral stairs up to the platform that you depart from to reach the upper regions of the tower. I think we should follow the hospitality staff. Oh, yes, sir, lead the way.
Starting point is 02:29:37 Please, good Frumpkin. When you crest the top, there is an easel with just a little note on it that says Willkommen, and there are- Is it an easel with just a little note on it that says, Willkommen. And there are sparse, not many, but black and blue flower petals just floating, rotating slowly in the column in the center of this chamber that is used for floating up to higher regions.
Starting point is 02:30:02 I can't tell if I'm hot or cold, hang on. Frumpkin actually starts floating up in front of you, the bell going ding, ding, ding, ding. I'm cold, but I'm sweating. Yeah, me too. And as he rises above you, the iris opens, and slightly different than what you've seen before, the chamber above is completely dark,
Starting point is 02:30:19 and Frumpkin disappears into it. Ding, ding, ding. Wow. Shall we? Sorry, I thought you were giving me something new on my hand. I had spent a minute. Wait, but I grab the petals, a couple of the petals,
Starting point is 02:30:44 and I put them in my book really quickly. I just want to save these. Okay. Here's my hand. Okay. Up, up! All right, so as the two of you slowly, hand in hand, float up through the open iris
Starting point is 02:31:09 into the great hall above, you ascend into darkness and you see the iris, the brass iris, close beneath you. So you're in total darkness and you feel your feet very gently just land back down on the floor on this iris. And you're alone together, feeling each other's hands in the dark.
Starting point is 02:31:29 And you see, after a brief moment, a runway of amber-colored, miniature, long-haired dachshunds come aglow in the dark, like a runway, leading in a path towards one wall in this nine-sided chamber. And Frumpkin, you see in this dim light, just walking forward and the tail going, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Starting point is 02:31:56 What are these most glorious creatures? These are wiener dogs. I think this is a wiener red carpet, but I'm trying to interpret what Caleb meant. Holy shit. Yes. Aren't they cute? I reach down and I give some scritches,
Starting point is 02:32:17 and I just keep scritching as we walk. And I'm going to pick one up and go. This is exactly what I was hoping for. As you make your way down between these two rows of dachshunds, you see two of Caleb's globules slowly fade up in warm light when you draw close to one of the doors and Frumpkin turns around and there is a little note hanging around his neck
Starting point is 02:32:38 and it says, Einz. And you see two little amber doxies pulling blue velvet sashes that are attached to the handles of double doors. Because remember, there are nine sets of double doors in this chamber. Okay. And the doxies on the ground pull apart the doors.
Starting point is 02:32:58 And as they do, you see what looks almost like a rolling stage of sorts coming gently, sliding out of the closet space, but it has sections that are folded up and collapsed in weird, strange ways. And as it expands out of the closet, it begins to open up, almost like a clockwork construction
Starting point is 02:33:17 or even a pop-up book. Tables and chairs fold out and lock into place in various ways. And you now are looking at a trio of tavern tables. The last thing to slide into place are a familiar looking bar, which brings in the rear and a hanging sign that slides out, extending over, drops. And you see a sign similar to the one you remember
Starting point is 02:33:44 long ago that read the Nestled Nook. extending over, it drops, and you see a sign similar to the one you remember long ago that read, The Nestled Nook. Now, I should point out, the colors of this wooden recreation are just a little more vibrant, a little more colorful than you remember, but it is unmistakably a magical fold-out recreation of the Nook.
Starting point is 02:34:02 One of Caleb's globules now glow intimately over each of the nook. One of Caleb's globules now glow intimately over each of the three tables. You notice three bottles of Lionet Vintage sitting on the bar alongside some glasses, but also you hear the turn of wheels as a little Amber Doxey pulls what looks like a small sleigh on rollers out of a hole in the back of the closet
Starting point is 02:34:26 along a track that is extended out from that hole to the bar and the doxy, like a little Santa, pulls a little sled out and there are two crystal glasses on it full of a dark amber liquid. And there's a little folded note in front of the cocktails in widow-gassed script that says, dark and stormy.
Starting point is 02:34:48 A nod to our goth barbarian, you surmise. Oh. Oh, thank you. Cheers. Cheers. This is... You know, you go first. No, you.
Starting point is 02:35:04 Shit. Yeah. This is... You know, you go first. No, you. Shit. Yeah. This is lovely. He really outdid himself. This is just stop one. This is just stop one? I told Caleb, since I wanted to start over,
Starting point is 02:35:34 I wanted to start over. So my request was a little bit of a walkthrough of where we've been and some of our favorite hiding spots. And felt it was only appropriate to start at the Nestled Nook Inn. So these are just a little bit of, you know, pre-gaming cocktails, so don't go too crazy.
Starting point is 02:36:09 I chug. The large chamber is shrouded in darkness. The only thing lit up is this little tavern corner, all on its own, in the void. Yeah. Yeah. I like your bow tie. Thank you. Veth helped me pick it out.
Starting point is 02:36:32 Boy. I... I got something today to use for this moment, but... It's not that divination cream, is it? today to use for this moment, but. It's not that divination cream, is it? Because that might be toxic. It is. Oh!
Starting point is 02:36:53 But I think it smells weird. And I think I... I... I... oh. I've been trying to keep my distance from you when I found out that he was listening and they were watching, but I just, I've had a lot of people in my head
Starting point is 02:37:27 and I don't want to give them you. So. Are you talking about Lucien? Yeah. And I just, I don't want them to see that I, that I fuck. I mean, that's not what I, that sounded weird. I don't want them to know that I care about you.
Starting point is 02:38:00 Because I don't know if they're going to use that in some way, you know? Yeah. But... Fuck it, I guess, you know? I really hope you don't. I mean, clearly you do, but you shouldn't harbor any guilt
Starting point is 02:38:32 about any of our previous encounters in which you clearly weren't yourself. It's not that I'm trying to compare. And I know you've been through a lot, but I hope you know I trust you. And I don't feel like I have any right to say that what we're going into is any different because I don't feel like I have any right to say that what we're going into is any different
Starting point is 02:39:07 because I don't know. I don't know Lucien's capabilities separate from Obann or anybody else. But that wasn't you, and you shouldn't judge yourself as if it was. But that wasn't you, and you shouldn't judge yourself as if it was. I try not to. I think it's getting easier,
Starting point is 02:39:34 I think it's getting easier, but I still am hunted but I still am haunted every night with the look on your face when I almost killed you. But... I still think of the look on your face when I bruise the fuck out of your eye, punching the shit out of you.
Starting point is 02:40:15 Trying to get you to snap out of it. They're not pleasant memories, Yasha. It's funny, we don't have a lot of pleasant memories, it seems. But we've all come together and tried to make some. Here's to making some more tonight. Absolutely.
Starting point is 02:40:54 Last time we were here, in the Nestled Nook, Lucien was still Molly. God, I miss him so bad. I don't think I ever got the story of how the two of you met, but let's save that for location number two. Okay. Let's save that for location number two. Okay.
Starting point is 02:41:29 Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. Frumpkin! There's a little note hanging under his chin and it says, Svei. And, uh. Time to number two. What? That's two? Okay, Svei. The entire room goes dark again and you sit in darkness for a moment and little amber doxies
Starting point is 02:41:46 boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, lead away from the tavern where you are. You surmise back towards the center of the room, and Frumpkin just strolls along, inviting you behind him. As you make your way behind the cat, you start to hear the sound of little rollers again and globules floating closer to the ceiling start to still dim, but light up. And you see those tracks like aqueducts
Starting point is 02:42:19 that run all around the walls that they normally cats travel through have little doxies running all along them. around the walls that normally cats travel through, have little doxies running all along them, and you see a curtain or drape being pulled all around the entire room, different pieces being stretched out until you see black and blue wildflowers
Starting point is 02:42:41 painted on this backdrop surrounding you all around the room. And the curtain undulates gently, giving the effect of flowers blowing in the wind. And as you reach the center of the room and you hear just a little more tinkle of the bell, you see a picnic blanket sitting in the center. And there is a little basket with a black
Starting point is 02:43:04 and blue checkered cloth in it and there are tacos with fish and insects. Some of them still moving. Just my favorite. There is another basket with several more bottles of Lionette wine. And as you reach the picnic blanket and sit down, you see a few doxies running in different directions across the room and long green silks
Starting point is 02:43:29 get pulled across the entire floor and those undulate as well. And as you sit there, it's art and pageantry, but it does create the effect of sitting in a field of wildflowers and the globules of light are dim and it feels like the early part of evening. Wow.
Starting point is 02:44:01 This is so beautiful. It's like living in a painting. Yeah. Tacos? My favorite. Yes. I furl out the blanket, lay it down, crack open a bottle of wine. Yes, I'm very excited to try. I furl out the blanket, lay it down,
Starting point is 02:44:25 crack open a bottle of wine. Yes, I'm very excited to try. This is a good year. My father, he had a rough time this year. A lot of barrels wasted due to a giant flood that came into the vineyard. So only the ones that were on the topmost shelf were the ones that were able to survive, so.
Starting point is 02:44:45 So that's limited. Very few bottles of this. I mean, I mean, seems like a magical creation. We'll see how it does. I'm in. Pour two glasses. So how did you and Molly meet? Well, when I was
Starting point is 02:45:12 going through the Wastes of Xhorhas, when I was not quite myself for weeks or maybe a month, however long it was, I don't know. When I finally came to, I, he was the first person that I saw. And he was so beautiful. And he was so beautiful.
Starting point is 02:46:04 I had been in just, I had been in just, there was no color, there was no life, there was no anything out there in the Ways and Shorehouse. And then when I saw him, he was a kindred spirit. And he introduced me to everybody in the circus,
Starting point is 02:46:43 and they took me in, and him and I were the best friends. They took me in, and him and I were the best friends. And I was weird and he was weird. We all were weird. And he just completely accepted me for who I was, and he didn't ask any questions. But he changed my life in a very big way. But that's how we met.
Starting point is 02:47:22 He was the first person I saw in, I don't know, however long I was. I mean, obviously not including Obann and whatever happened with that during that time, but that's how we met. I hope you feel like we've been your new circus. Yeah. Accepted by all of us weirdos. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:48:01 I... Is it not the same? It is better. In what way? There's a closeness that we all have that I haven't experienced with a group of people like this before. I care about everyone so deeply, and I feel that love back.
Starting point is 02:48:42 And I loved everyone in the circus. They were all so full of life and, you know. But everyone in our group is family and that's something I didn't ever quite have. I'll never forget seeing you for the first time at the circus and the crazy.
Starting point is 02:49:20 Think I carried you? You did. Why? Why did I carry you? Because you were trying to confiscate everyone's weapons and I didn't want you to take my staff, so I pretended that I was injured and Jester was like, oh yeah, she's got a hurt leg.
Starting point is 02:49:42 Oh, so she's trying to help you in. It was super dumb. yeah, that's right. You saw through my bullshit real quick. I didn't. I thought you were hurt, I think. You did not. Didn't? There was no way. I mean, if you want to make me feel good now,
Starting point is 02:50:02 I'll take it. I may have been distracted with things, but I... I remember when I saw all of you, it was... Boy, that day changed everything. It's interesting you talking about Molly being this burst of color in your monochromatic life Molly being this burst of color in your monochromatic life
Starting point is 02:50:26 because part of the reason you stood out like a sore thumb is because you were this black and white and gray monochromatic vision amongst this fairy tale of color. You hear a squeaky wheel in the distance. And out of the darkness, one single little doxy comes with one of those little sleds behind him.
Starting point is 02:50:54 And there is a little stack of black moss cupcakes on it. And he just stops in front of Yasha and just looks up. There they are, yes! Black moss cupcakes. Oh my god. Yeah? This is just the greatest hits. Caddy, you know, all the greatest hits. Screechies.
Starting point is 02:51:11 Isn't, aren't they the best? Oh, I just love them. Oh, these buddies. So much fruit. I know you like dogs. Oh, I just love them. I just can't get enough. I just, oof. Caleb got a little bugged out
Starting point is 02:51:24 about me turning the cats into dogs. Really? I know. Well, I wish he would add them to the mix. I love cats, but dogs, ugh. I just love them. Like a cats and dogs living together in harmony? Yes. Traitors.
Starting point is 02:51:39 We should pitch that to him. Traitors both. I think so. Cheers to black moss cupcakes, I guess. So how are you doing? I know that's kind of a loaded question, but. I'm okay. Are you okay? I'm okay. Yeah. Hearing the news from Udalla
Starting point is 02:52:21 yesterday about how their yesterday about how they're prosecuting the Cobalt Soul members that were responsible for my being there. I don't know. It gave me a resolve and a sense of purpose and assurance that I didn't know I was looking for. Hmm.
Starting point is 02:52:57 Felt like it kind of cleared away any final reservations I had with the reserve. And I mean, I had with the reserve, and... I mean, I'm still my regular skeptic self, but... It was good to hear that not all of bureaucracy will stand for that type of bullshit. Yeah. Hey. I just want you to know,
Starting point is 02:53:37 just before we continue this, whatever this night is, that I have no expectations, and at the end of all of this, if it just, you have the reassurance of knowing that I'm somebody that you can come and talk to, if you need to, and that's, that's enough for me.
Starting point is 02:54:10 Thank you for saying that. I feel the same way. But at the same time, things really changed for me when we went to Komorda. And I saw you with your family and I got a glimpse into how your world was when you were growing up and I I fell in love with you in Kamordah. I look at the dachshunds behind me.
Starting point is 02:55:14 I just, that just came out so fast and I didn't know that was going to come out right then. I say that, I don't, I don't, whoo. I don't have expectations either, but I really care about you, and I just, I hope, if anything, that you know I'm, I'm so proud of the person that you've become.
Starting point is 02:55:53 Just seeing where you started and where you are now, and you have completely done that on your own. And I just, I'm, you blow me away. Feelings mutual. You could have left at any time. You kept coming back to this group. Why? You guys are the only family that I have.
Starting point is 02:56:44 And I think I am so scared. When I was in Kamordah, that fear of losing this family, I almost sabotaged it just so that I wouldn't have to deal with the angst and the anguish of wondering if and when and how this family will fall apart.
Starting point is 02:57:20 Like ripping off a band-aid that was never there. Or I guess over a wound that was never there. Just try to rip it off for the pain and nothing else. Yeah. That's relatable. Yeah. Yeah, I mean. That's relatable. Yeah. Yeah. I'm...
Starting point is 02:57:51 I'm so scared to lose everyone. I think that's why I kept showing up. Also trying to kill everybody, so that doesn't really make any sense. But, um... I just, I don't want to lose anyone, because I don't know if I could survive that again. But I feel like people keep asking me,
Starting point is 02:58:21 like, what's your purpose? You know, Lucien asked me that, and I'm like, I don't know. I feel like it's just to protect, to try to keep everybody safe and alive. That's why you're my favorite. Who, me?
Starting point is 02:58:54 I want to kiss you so bad. I want to kiss you so bad. I was about to ask you. I jump all over. I kiss her! There it is. Just like cupcakes are on the side of the wall. Make it a mess.
Starting point is 02:59:15 Seven areas left untouched. Yeah, I'm, no, floofs, floofs, get away. Okay, go, go, shoot, scram. No, get, get, floofs, get away. Okay, go, go, shoot, scram. No, get, get, get. Oh, the dogs, I forgot the dogs. Get in your face. But Yasha, as you guys entangle yourselves and roll all over the place,
Starting point is 02:59:33 you hear a little jingle and look over and Frumpkin is there staring at you with a very blank stare on his face. I smack Caleb on the back. You're not here. I'm not controlling this. This was set going. You see another little placard hanging
Starting point is 02:59:46 under Frumpkin's face and it says, Dry, which you know very well by now from hanging out with Caleb is the Xem'nian word for three. But then the card falls away and it says the common word, Die. And all the globules of light blaze as bright as they can. And the flowery curtain all around the room drops and spills down to the floor,
Starting point is 03:00:06 and all of the nine double doors in this entire room are open and filled with what look like amber, leather-clad humanoid figures with Doberman pincer heads. Yes, Beauregard, these are the ninjas you requested. Yes! I need you both to roll initiative. Yes! Oh shit, both to roll initiative. Yes!
Starting point is 03:00:27 Holy shit, this is the best. It's on the list, motherfucker. Okay! Shit, it's so bad. Such a bad roll. Oh, I get advantage. It's the fucking same. I rolled two nines, which is appropriate. So plus three, it's 12.
Starting point is 03:00:41 16. 16, all righty. So we have Beau is up first, then the Dobermans, then Yasha. Beau, what are you going to do? All nine of them are now rushing in from all sides.
Starting point is 03:00:55 So I'm on top of Yasha, right? Because we were in the middle of this heated makeout. So as I'm straddling her, I'm like, sorry, babe. Got to handle these ninjas. And without really moving much, I just cartwheel off of her into a standing position, and I take out my staff,
Starting point is 03:01:21 and I do a really extra flourish for no real reason. And then I go after them and just with my staff. Go for it. Go for it. You're attacking them. But it's really Jedi-like. Oh yeah. I'm kind of, yeah. Episode three flourish. Yes, but yeah, putting on.
Starting point is 03:01:39 Okay. Nonsensically, yeah. Pull on episode three flourish, nonsensical. None of this would hit. Go for it. But. First one's coming at you right now. Oh my god, oh my god. Oh, so scary!
Starting point is 03:01:53 Oh, oh god. That is a roll like shit for me, which is funny. 17? 17 still hits. All right. Next one. That's a natural 17 for a total of 29. All right.
Starting point is 03:02:09 Don't even worry about damage. Uh-huh, pop, uh-huh. The first one where it runs to you, whack! You hit the first one that comes at you. As you hit it, it explodes in a spray of, would be black and blue glittering illusory dust off that side. Yes! And I just turn my hair in the glitter
Starting point is 03:02:30 so I look at Yasha, and I go for the second one. I do a fake faint. Oh my god. The staff goes through the second one without even looking, that one just gets bisected. You watch as it scatters into more glitter dust around you. Wow!
Starting point is 03:02:44 I take some of the glitter dust and I just smear it across my face. That's going to be there for years. Yeah. Herpes is the crap world. Oh no, oh no. Oh no! The remaining seven come rushing in. Oh, pop, pop! Flurry of blows.
Starting point is 03:03:05 Go for it. Before their turn comes. Burn those key points, go. Yeah, all the key points. Burn them all, we're going to bed, in theory. Okay. That is a, sorry, 20 total. Yeah, that hits.
Starting point is 03:03:20 And a 15 total. 15 also hits. Okay. So I'm going to take my staff and I do a spin and I toss it in the air and I go, a-pop-pop, and then I catch it. Both just explode into glitter dust. Yes!
Starting point is 03:03:41 You catch the staff and hit it. Babe, I might need help with these ninjas. Babe. Babe. Babe, I got a ninja problem. Let me help you exterminate. As you begin to stand up to join her, the other five come rushing in.
Starting point is 03:04:03 Oh no. Two against you. It's a 14 hit. Oh, it misses. Over a head. Oh no! She's too strong! A 23, does that hit? That does hit. Oh no! You take one point
Starting point is 03:04:20 of bludgeoning damage, as one leaps, a flying kick that hits you and just pushes your head a little bit before it kicks off. Yes, it works. They're barely unseen servants. Yeah, they are vaguely there. The other three rush towards you. One goes to try and grapple you from behind to hold you.
Starting point is 03:04:43 Make an athletics check for me. Okay. That's a 19 plus nine, so 28. It's like being held by a warm breeze. It's holding on in your ear, but you're just like, it's immaterial. The other two come towards you to just unload on you with a series of blows.
Starting point is 03:05:05 15. It doesn't hit! 12. No, it doesn't hit! Natural one! And the last one will be a 14. They are coming at you, but you are just too powerful as these hits just tissue paper off of you, and they're just barking and growling.
Starting point is 03:05:25 You feel awesome. You feel unstoppable. It's your turn. What are you doing? Okay. This is what little kids do. Yes, I know. Okay, so if they're still, if they're grappling around me. There's one grabbing you and there's two to the front and sides of you.
Starting point is 03:05:40 Okay, so what I'm going to do. Not actually grappling you, just holding onto you. I am going to do. Not actually grappling you, but just holding onto you. I am going to go into a rage. Yes! And in that rage, I'm going to look over at . I'm going to look over at Beau.
Starting point is 03:05:59 I'm going to bamf out the wings. Yes! That's hot. And then I'm going to take my new sword. Oh yeah. And I'm just going to start flying around and then just swing. Go for it. Since it is not attuned to you. Yeah, it's...
Starting point is 03:06:15 Yeah, you're just swinging a basic sword. I'm just swinging a basic sword. But go ahead and roll for an attack. Okay, am I adding anything? You're adding your strength modifier to it. Strength modifier, okay. And your proficiency modifier, because you are still proficient with a greatsword.
Starting point is 03:06:26 So it would be proficiency plus strength. Okay, so that would be, oh wow, okay, so. Five plus five. 26. That definitely hits. Yeah! So as you pull it, the wings outward, feathers scatter out and mix with the glitter that's still in the air and drifting past.
Starting point is 03:06:43 You take the sword and as you strike through, it just passes through and it stands there. Well. And just explodes into glitter as you spin around for the second strike. Go ahead and roll. Okay, okay, okay.
Starting point is 03:06:58 Oh wow, okay. Why am I rolling so well right now? Okay, so. 15, 20, 30 total. The other one sees the blade coming and goes and jumps in the air to try and kick towards your head. And as you do, you sweep the blade upward and you watch it go
Starting point is 03:07:18 into another shower of black and blue dust sparkling in the air. There is currently two left that are engaged with Beauregard. Okay. I'm going to go over there and... I'm going to fly over to her. I'm going to grab her and pull her in
Starting point is 03:07:42 and kiss her. Yes. And then flick the other two. Awesome. I'll give you a free action on that one, hell yeah. Come on! So as they're just assailing, well, we'll say for the purposes of this,
Starting point is 03:07:59 you're just giving into this. We'll say you're letting this happen. Yeah. Yeah. That's your turn. Sentinel. As you're holding her in there, they're both battering at you and having no impact as you, poof, poof, they both just detonate. As the blitter passes and you're left there standing,
Starting point is 03:08:18 holding her as you pull back. We make a pretty good team. Yeah, we fucking do. Do we... Do we have more stops? Ding-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling-a-ling. I don't know. Ding-a-ling-a-ding-a-ling. We'll, uh...
Starting point is 03:08:41 The cat is there. There is a little placard. It says, Fear fear on it. I look at it. Three adjacent closets are opened by more dachshunds. And a billowing cloud of steam spills out of the center door of these three, bringing with it the scent of herbs and soap.
Starting point is 03:09:03 These three new stages begin to slide out and unfold, similarly to the tavern, across the hall from you. The center stage unfolds and reveals a fairly large, polished stone tub filled with water that is steaming hot, just like this date. A few benches surround it, as well as an array of greenery displayed in planters about the water.
Starting point is 03:09:26 There's a sign hanging off the lip of the stage, and it bears the familiar words, Steam's Respite. And it does, in fact, look like a stylized version of the bathhouse you visited in Zadash. The stages on the left and right are a touch more elaborate, and you hear gears clanking and turning inside
Starting point is 03:09:43 the folded contraptions, extending up and broadening out, and you watch as two platforms begin to erect themselves before your eyes. Ladders fall down and lengths of highly polished brass metal begin to extend out in segments until you see two slightly varied brass water slides that lead to the stone pool of water before you.
Starting point is 03:10:09 One slide comes down in a curve to the very edge of the tub. The other one is just a short little dip into space, which leads for a 10-foot drop into the water. They're a little bit different. Finally, underneath each of these two platforms, surrounded by more greenery that is sliding into place as I speak,
Starting point is 03:10:33 there are two large apex predator cats. Bear with me here. A pair of massive amber lionesses sit proudly amongst fragrant eucalyptus leaves and beside each of them, a straw mat rests. On one platform, there is also another easel from Caleb with a short note. Dear Beauregard, please forgive my deviating
Starting point is 03:11:02 from your explicit instructions, but as a fan of rule breaking, I think you will likely permit the transgression. Besides, what better gift could I offer the Lionette? Please enjoy your massage and soak. See you tomorrow at breakfast. CW. Well, what happens in here?
Starting point is 03:11:28 Do we fight? We don't fight. They rub. Yes. Our backs. For a massage, it's a massage. He got us a massage. Yes.
Starting point is 03:11:43 I've missed massages so much. Me too. Well. Tower's ours. Claim the rest of the night with me? Absolutely. I strip naked, go up to one of the waterslides,
Starting point is 03:12:07 go down into the hot tub. It's hot. Ha! I strip naked, fly up to the top of the waterslide. Go, let's go. Come on. From back in.
Starting point is 03:12:26 I know I can't take them out twice, but. They haven't faded yet. They haven't faded, okay, good. Time gets weird here for the time being, because why the fuck not? And then I'll go down the slide sideways like this. Flying through the air?
Starting point is 03:12:46 Yes. And then I just cuddle up into her, wrap my arms around her, give her another big kiss. The whole room darkens as the few globules that are here dim, dim, dim, dim, and you once again earn a little small intimate pocket of light in this giant chamber. And then you start to see illusory fireworks
Starting point is 03:13:14 in the dark above you. And as you look at each other's faces in this hot tub, you see those lights reflected on each other's beautiful faces, reds and blues and greens. Hey. Hey. I love you, too.
Starting point is 03:13:39 That's the best thing I've ever heard. Just lay my head on her shoulder. Enjoy the show. Oh. Oh, but at some point, I'm very curious about something in your bedroom. The mirror. Yes, yes, yes. The mirror in your bedroom.
Starting point is 03:14:06 Bed is made whenever you're ready. We'll enjoy the show first. Okay. We enjoy the show. All right. It's update night. That's the best date ever. Yeah, steam, steam, steam. Steam fills the camera
Starting point is 03:14:28 as the fireworks fade off. And we'll go ahead and finish tonight's episode. Oh! As the rest of the group sits outside, it smells like farts out in here. I just, as we fall asleep, I just slap Fjord on the tit.
Starting point is 03:14:54 I start to cry just a little. It was so sassin' now. I will just throw in one last little detail, because there was a chance you were going to go to your rooms. Yeah. And eventually you will, and eventually you're going to fuck. But, um. I want to know everything. When you enter into the sitting room,
Starting point is 03:15:12 not you, Yasha, but you, Beauregard, with your passive perception, notice a very slight change to the stained glass window above the fireplace, which is a picture of the Mighty Nein, their backs staring out at a field in the Empire. And the only change, it's very minimal, is the Yasha and Beau's hands are linked together. Come on.
Starting point is 03:15:37 Scene. My good friend. My good friend. An evening to take a moment to appreciate the reason you fight and the things worth protecting with the dangers ahead. To take a moment of respite, well-earned, of connection, well-needed, and to take stock in what's important.
Starting point is 03:16:08 Thank you all for joining us. We'll see you next week. We love you very much. And is it Thursday yet? Good night. Yeah, y'all hooked up! Yeah! And this concludes the current chapter of Critical Role.
Starting point is 03:16:27 Your essays on the history and impact of the various ages and epochs of Exandria are eagerly anticipated. Just kidding. No homework for you, but if you are inspired to do some writing, please leave us a review. Your words can really help new folks find our show and encourage them to give it a try. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. Until next time.

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