Critical Role - C2E129 Between a Ball and a Hot Place

Episode Date: March 18, 2021

Split into two teams, the Mighty Nein must contend with the dangerous surroundings of two very different planes while trying to get back home...Due to the improv nature of Critical Role and other RPG content on our channels, some themes and situations that occur in-game may be difficult for some to handle. If certain episodes or scenes become uncomfortable, we strongly suggest taking a break or skipping that particular episode. Your health and well-being is important to us and Psycom has a great list of international mental health resources, in case it’s useful: http://bit.ly/PsycomResourcesWatch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://twitch.tv/criticalrole and https://youtube.com/criticalrole. To join our live and moderated community chat, please head over to our Twitch channel.

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast, and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story.

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're Dungeons & Dragons! It's good. I meant Liam. Feels good. Before we get started tonight, we do have some announcements to get through, beginning with the first of our two sponsors tonight,

Ravensburger. Sam. This episode is sponsored by Ravensburger and their brand new title, Pusheen Perfect Pick. An adorable game about planning a purr-fect weekend with Pusheen and her friends as a special, am I saying it wrong? You're great. Pusheen.

Pusheen? Yeah. Sorry. And as a special surprise treat, even to him, Travis is going to read tonight's ad. Travis, you'll find an envelope at your table with a copy. So rip that bad boy open and read about cats. You fucking... All right. His favorite.

There's no cat hair in here. There's no cat hair in that envelope. Pusheen. Just the bolded parts. Oh. From Robinsburger, a new game for us cat lovers. Everyone's favorite tabby, Pusheen, will crawl up your leg, bringing cat-errific moments

for your whole feline family. There's more! There's more. There's several paragraphs. The double-sided board game. I can feel it. Let you play in the park or Pusheen's house. Move Pusheen.

How do you say the name? Pusheen? Move Pusheen around the board to gather items and friends and turn them in for meow-gical, meow-gical, meow-gical snapshots of weekend fun. Yes, this game makes me feel like I'm picking up a snuggly long hair and rubbing my nose up and down his fuzzy belly.

His thick dander filling my nostrils and heart with nine lives of love. Good start, Travis, but you're not done yet. There's some special surprises waiting for you in the box under your table. Go ahead and dump it out, Travis. No, there's not. Is there?

God damn it! Is it this? Uh-huh. Let's see what we got for you. There better not be real cat hair in that. Maybe. You'll kill him. Inside, you'll find fuzzy cat toys

and more great things. Hairballs. A bottle. Does this say anal gland secretion? It does say anal gland secretion. And you'll also find a bottle of pure cat saliva in there. Oh, wow. Everything a kitty kisser like me could possibly want

from whiskers to tail. The game is for two to five players ages eight and up. It includes this pleasantly squishy, pooshy game piece. Is this it? I don't know. Is this it? Is this it? God damn it. Is this it? I don't know! Is this it? Is this it? Goddamn it, is this it?

I don't know. Ah! But those are actual hairballs. No. Hey, and don't... These are not. Don't really kill my husband. Are they? Pusheen, I'll wrap it up for you.

Okay. Pusheen is available'll wrap it up for you. Okay. Pusheen is available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and local game stores in the U.S. now, and coming soon to Indigo for you Canadian cats. Check it out at bit.ly slash CRpusheen and visit the Ravensburger Twitter feed for a chance to win a copy of the game.

Thanks, Travis. Back to you, Matt. Thank you, Sam. And thank you, Ravensburger. You okay, Travis. Back to you, Matt. Thank you, Sam. And thank you, Robinsburger. You okay, Travis? Yeah. Boy, I wore this shirt on the right night. Yeah, apparently. Oh yeah, you did. The cat-themed nut. It's the best shirt.

Yeah. All right, our second sponsor for the night are our friends at D&D Beyond. Since the beginning of this campaign, they've been with us long for the ride. And thank you, those who haven't had a chance yet, they are the official toolset of Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition.

They make it way easier for you to DM your game, keep track of all your campaign stuff, keep track of your characters, items, the whole deal. Check it out if you get a chance at dndbeyond.link slash critters. There we go. No. A few other announcements. Oh, first of all, I want to thank you all

for joining us here live with our Twitch chat, as well as on our YouTube live channel. However, our community moderated experience and chat is here at our home on Twitch. So come and join us wherever your preference lies. Don't spill that, Travis. Also, we have another cool announcement. You get to discover the backstory

of our very own gentle barbarian, Yasha, in the newly announced Mighty Nein Origins. Yasha, Night of the Horde. It's our next graphic novel by Dark Horse. She doesn't even know her origins. Is this a spoiler to you? Could be. Oh, what?

It's fun. I am very, very, very, very, very excited. Indeed. The graphic novel features writing by the amazing Cecil Castellucci, art by William Kirkby, and lettering by Ariana Maher, as well as the narrative that was created

between myself and the wonderful Ashley Johnson. Hey! Expect Mighty Nein Origins Yasha to hit shelves in September. You can pre-order at local comic stores and bookstores right now. And tomorrow marks our six-year anniversary of doing this crazy shit online.

That's right. Wow. We started streaming six years. Years. Six years. You couldn't tell because we all aged 12 in that time period, but it's been six. No, none of us have aged except Marisha.

That's true. As people keep telling us. We just let her catch up. Yeah. It's exponential. In just a few years, Marisha, get ready. Give it six months. But it's been an absolutely incredible ride

doing this weirdness with all of you. And on to six more. Oh my gosh. Let's make it a baker's dozen. Indeed. Yeah. Thank you all so much for joining us for this craziness and all the wild things we have coming as well. So six years in and it still feels like it's just beginning.

Oh god. Anyway. I believe that's the end of our announcements. So tonight, let's go ahead and jump into the next episode of Critical Role. The adventure begins They were always beside you Your nerdy best friends And the DM to guide you

And they rise from the flames For the battles ahead Villains beware Cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got fouchions and cunning They don't see over there There's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting

Rise up, don't think twice Put your feet in your hands take a chance roll the dice Can you answer the call dig in deep in your soul as the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll And welcome back. There's no time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta leave that. So last we left off,

the Mighty Nein gathering some information and some final supplies and bits of preparation for their journey up north to Eiselcross. You reached out to Astrid in hopes of acquiring some of these cloaking amulets, one of which you've had for the entirety of your run in this campaign. Information was gathered and you were told

they resided beneath one of the structures of the Vergestan Sanatorium, where you went to break into it, separating into two troops. It went a little tits up. And with a brief encounter with Master Trent Ikithon, realizing that it was you who broke in, a bit confused, you still manage to catch him off guard

and escape, but not before he had acquired some information and some very curious interest in what it is you're doing and why you're being so dang secretive about it. You jaunt back to Nicodranas to visit your families, caught up a bit, and then begin to realize that you were indeed still being pursued after Astrid and Adewulf seemed to have come at the behest of Trent,

but warned you of his particular coming very soon. You gathered the Ruby of the Sea, Marion, as well as your family, Veth, both Yeza and Luc, and immediately fled from the lavish chateau, having it closed behind you, rushing to Tidepeak Tower, where you learned that the mage Yussa

is currently on his own expedition, astrally projecting himself into the astral plane in search of information to help you in your endeavors. But as such, he is unreachable. As you begin to look about for some means of escape, you notice that Trent has come to the tower and followed you here. In a rush, you hatched a plan where some of you took the Folding Halls of Halas,

the Happy Fun Ball, as you call it, and decided to trek into that sphere, with Caleb setting most of the puzzle to completion and then handing it to Fjord to finish, in which Fjord, Yasha, and Beauregard stayed within the radius as it was triggered and within a flash, they were gone, sealed within the folding halls.

The rest of you took to a singular scroll that was gifted to Yussa at some point in the past. Reading it, you realized it was a Plane Shift scroll and contained with it one singular rod that was attuned. To where? You're not certain. It was warm to the touch. As the door opened and you began to read this spell

to escape, the first person to reach you was Astrid, who did not interfere with the completion of your spell. At which point, you, the rest of you, with families in tow, vanished to where this may carry you. So, let's begin with Team Happy Fun Ball. Oh, I want to know where they're going!

Me too! We'll find out. Oh, what a tickle. Oh boy, oh boy. Inside of an ashtray dreamer. Team Happy Fun Ball has a fun ring to it, though. Yeah. So the three of you, Fjord, Beau, Yasha,

there's a brief moment where you feel like time itself stretches. Your body has suddenly become this immaterial being funneled through. It feels like a tiny hole. It's not painful, just an odd stretch and then return. It's been a while since we've felt that in particular. As soon as I said it, I knew it was coming.

I got to strike that phrase from my vernacular. That's kind of impossible. I know, I know. It's so hard. And as you take a moment to assess your surroundings, you're all standing in the middle of a circular stone chamber, about 30 feet in diameter, about 15 feet high to the recessed ceiling.

Looking around, you can see there are four colored tapestries hanging at different parts of the chamber. This is a familiar room. This is where you had first entered the Happy Fun Ball. Although you did not trek into this chamber, I don't believe. I don't think I did. So this is all fresh to you. But nevertheless, there is a blue tapestry,

there is a black tapestry, a green tapestry there is a blue tapestry. There is a black tapestry, a green tapestry, and a red tapestry. And they are all beautifully filigreed and embroidered with gold thread and designs. What would you like to do? Okay. We know that we got to go to the Dragon Chamber, right? From here?

No, not yet. We go to the study. to go to the Dragon Chamber, right? From here? No, not yet. We go to the study. From here to the study. From the study to the Dragon Chamber. So you know. This place is fucked. I feel like I was in here for the Dreadnought. Yes. You've been in here.

But this particular room you had. This area, yeah. Do you remember that like? I remember it was very weird. It's made to attack magic users. Well, I mean everything, but specifically like wizards. Okay, so it's a good thing we're all here then. You need some magic to get through though,

which is why I came. If I remember first, is there anything about this room from the last time that we were in here that seems different? Make a perception check. I love you so much. 14, 17. 17.

No, it looks, well, no, what you do notice is when you first arrived here, there were two bodies on the ground. Two other individuals that had passed away Well, no, what you do notice is when you first arrived here, there were two bodies on the ground. Two other individuals that had passed away. By some means, you couldn't quite pinpoint, but the corpses are gone. Yussa's been through here.

He said he came back in, did some more studying. He said he updated his map, but we don't have that. We have the old one. We went through the red curtains. The red one goes to the study, right? Yes, but if I remember correctly, we had to pick a lock on the other side of it. Okay, because there should be a door behind it, right?

There should be. And then everything lit on fire, which should be fine, because that's so a forte. Where's Caleb when you need him? Out here. Okay. We can do this. We can do this. We can do this. We got this. No problem.

We just think like Caleb and we can do it. Fire, fire, fire. And just, oh, go ahead. Is there anything on the tapestries? Like designs and things? Elaborate embroidery that just seems to be a sequence of unique designs. No specific imagery or iconography,

just beautiful shapes, symmetrical, nothing you recognize. Okay. Let's look behind the red one. Begin his luck. I need you, no, I'm kidding. You die in stillness. As you peek behind ever so carefully,

eyes peeled, intense, ready to leap at whatever may, come at you like that, ready to jump. Did you go all the way down? Okay. Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot. There is indeed a doorway, but it is closed. Okay, there's a door. I'll try the door.

Does it look locked? As you ask this question, she reaches and grabs towards the handle and... I probably should have checked it for traps. Can you check it for traps? Nope. Me neither. You? I mean, I could look at it

and try and deduce what I know. Yeah, let's show that we've learned from our friends. Let's check it for traps. I'm going to check it for traps. Okay, I'll... Assist? Assist. I will be the foreman. All right, it's an investigation check

to go ahead and look over to see if you recognize any traps. Fucking middle management. Ooh, that's a natural 19. Nice. Plus investigation, 6. 25. Six? You have a six for investigation? I have a six?

Guys, we've been sleeping on my snooping. All righty. Well, it is indeed locked as you get close and inspect it, and that little slight grapple you put onto this odd looped knob pulley device. But as you get close, you can just faintly make out in the wood around it,

and even the stone setting to the right of it, these ever so smooth parts of the stone where it looks like whatever sort of dust may just be faintly gathering in areas does not settle. And it is patterned, which leads you to believe that there is something magical about this lock. Last time, Twiggy picked this lock. Yep.

I think, and it filled the chamber with fire. Yep. Oh. Do we have anything to potentially disarm this? I have thieves' tools, believe it or not. She has Dispel Magic. I have dicey? I don't. Juchas, Magicians Judge. Magicians Judge instead of S traded out Lima. You took Magician's Judge. Magician's Judge instead of Skingorger.

Fucking nipples on a horse. That is unfortunate. Oh, I realized it after the transaction that I probably should have just not given her an option and should have just given her Skingorger. Trust me, I've been thinking about it. Cool, cool, cool, we are fine. I have cold stuff in case it gets real hot. Might work, might not.

Oh yeah, do you still have that ring? Well, it doesn't matter. No, Jester has it! Shit! Oh no! Fuck! The one time! We were just whispering about it. Ew. That's all right, we're about to put

two new bodies in this bitch. Ew. Oh. That's all right, we're about to put two new bodies in this bitch. All right. Come on, thieves' tools. We should just do this, right? And just be prepared? I'll turn my back to the door. It's been five hours outside already.

I know, right? Okay. I put on my goggles just as safety. Inspiration. I can't do it, Sprig. No. Oh, that was a fancy barbarian thing. You can be inspirational if you'd like. You're amazing.

I just, you're so good at this. Keep talking. I can't wait to see you open the door. Keep going. No mechanical benefit, but go ahead and make your roll. Just straight. Now, are you proficient in thieves' tools? No. Then it's just a dexterity modifier bonus.

So go ahead and roll a d20. Better you than me. Come on. 19 total. Roll a 14. A 19 total? Yeah. As you get down carefully, with Yasha's words cheering you on, Fjord watching at a distance,

you place the tools in. It's not going, the tumblers aren't going. Okay, what are the little bits on the side again? That we saw, like the stone? You just see this very, very faint, difficult-to-see pattern in both the wood and the stone to the side of it that almost forms a circle around

where the door clicks into place. What if it's like a little code? Can you move it? Little, okay. Yeah, let me try moving. Does it look like I can press in on anything? It's just a very, very faint difference in texture from the rest of the surrounding material,

which leads you to believe that it's either, pardon, resistant to dust, or just seems to be of a slightly different mock material. Maybe try to, I'll try to twist it or something. Okay, as you titty twist the portion of the wall there, it doesn't quite react. That's not the way to do it. Okay.

Guys, what if we're just stuck in here forever? You want to try and pick the lock again? I have a pitton, or some climbing material, and some daggers. I can try. I can try. I feel like right on the cusp of if I push any further, this thing is going to snap inside the lock or something. I don't know.

Okay. Do you want to use my climbing materials? Let me see what I can do. Can I try again? The DC is going to be harder and the 19 didn't make it. You can, if you want to take a little bit of time here, you can try it again. All right. Oh boy. I'm going to fuck this up.

I'm going to do great. My dex mod is zero, so. I can't do here on purpose. Killing this plan that's coming to fruition. It's worse. 17. Mm-hmm. Ugh. This time, as you push to the same point,

either it's rusted or there's something about this tumbler, like the fourth click in that's just not going, and as you get frustrated and push past it, you watch as those little symbols Uh-oh. And in a flash of light, I just try to quickly say, Get down! I need all of you

to make a dexterity saving throw. Cool. 17. Wait, Caduceus didn't go with them? No. Mm-mm. No, you took both healers, you selfish fuck. Why? 18.

22. Great. All successes, so that's good for you. Evasion. So zero for you right back. Indeed. 25 points of fire damage, reduced to half for those of you who succeeded, and then none for you.

So 13 or 12? It'll be 12. Okay. As the room fills with burning fire, and as you all recoil from it, and it finally fades away for a second, you all are just dwelling in the pain and the flash heat and the searing light that your eyes have to refocus from. You look around and all the tapestries

flapped to a calm state, unscathed by the flames. The chamber as it was. So take a break for a minute and let a week pass outside. There are, one of these other tapestries goes to a dining hall and then absolutely the direction we don't want to go on the map. And then there are two other tapestries goes to a dining hall and then absolutely the direction we don't want to go on the map. And then there are two other tapestries

that are completely uncharted. No idea where those go. So we can always roll the fucking dice and just die. Well, now that the, the, the, the, no, no, no. That doesn't make any sense. I was going to say, now that the magic went poof, but that's just what it does if you tinker with it. Yep. It's not like it's gone.

Yep. The green tapestry we tried the first time we were in here and it has poison fog behind it. Cool, cool. And then there's a blue. You're immune to poison, right? I am resistant. Are you trained in arcana? No, I am immune to poison.

I am immune to poison. Beauregard. Yeah? Are you trained in arcana? I'm not trained, no. I always killed it, though, with arcana. Because I'm smart, sis. Yeah. Can I trained in arcana? I'm not trained, no. It always kills it, though, with arcana. Um, because I'm smartsies. Yeah. Can I still roll for it?

Go ahead and roll arcana for me. 14, nope, 15. 15. Plus four. You don't understand enough about the nature of certain magic entrapments or glyphs, such as the one you just encountered. There's something that's just outside of your peripheral that you can't quite understand.

I'm going to give it a look-see and see if maybe I can tell. Go into the ball, he said. We need you in there, he said. Your knowledge of the arcane, he said. It's all magical, I think. Everything, everything in here. he said. Your knowledge of the arcane, he said. It's all magical, I think. Everything, everything is. All right.

This does take time for both of you to sit here and concentrate in this space and try and pour over it, so. Fuck. What's the plan? Who said there's a fucking plan? Okay, okay. What's the plan? Was a little rusted on the inside.

I do have a little bit of oil. Maybe I can try and oil down my tools and try it again. I don't know if that is a real fucking thing. We were hitting things later on this journey with cold, so I could try and cold the door a little bit. That feels like it'd make it worse. I have. Yep. That's not going to help, actually.

Fucking doors. Just punch. Always. That's not going to help, actually. Fucking doors. Always. Oh man. I know, I was thinking. I can, I can, I can, we can obviously try to break through the door, but that's probably not going to happen. Give it another go. Put a little oil on there and see if it's as slippy.

One more go, if that doesn't work, maybe we can freeze it, see if that negates the fire trap. I mean, yeah. Okay. This is it, basically. I'm going to oil down the tools a little. We're going to be hanging out in this little room. Yeah, we can try two other doors that have never been opened before.

Rub it in. Make another trim. Son of a bitch, just give me a natural 20 or something. It's just getting worse. 10 total. 10 total. There's a confidence that comes with how easily it makes its way past the previous barriers, now that the oil has been applied.

And you're like, all right, this is the one. And you feel it catch on the tumble, but it's been a problem, and you're like, yes, this is it. And you twist, you hold it, the edge with your other hand, and begin to pull up, and you feel it give. Oh no. You can go ahead and delete your thieves' tools.

Oh! Brutal. Someone else try it and fuck this door. Yeah, sure, I got three daggers and a pitton. Is that how you say that? A pitton? I said pitton and got shit for it because I don't know how it's pronounced. Okay. I think it's pitton.

It's a quake. What's smaller? Let's try a dagger. I'll try a dagger. I have a zero dex modifier, so this will be awesome. What's your dex mod, Ashley? Plus three, so I could. You want to try with one of these daggers? Okay, yes. So you're trying to pick it with a dagger?

If you got a natural 20 right now. Nope. I was going to say, if you didn't get a natural 20, let's just go with your roll. So you're trying to pick with a dagger? She is. Okay. I'm just warming this bitch up. 20, let's just go. It's your roll. So you're trying to pick with the dagger? She is. Okay.

I'm just warming this bitch up. Wait, advantage on dex against effects that you can. That's saving throw against like a gash. That's saving throw? That's fine. That would be 13 total. Yeah. You can only get the blade partially in because the broken tool is jammed in the lock

and the lock is currently non-functional. That's what I'm afraid of. This door will not be unlocked through normal means. I'm going to just start pounding at the door. Okay, go ahead and make a strength check. Is this raging or not? Raging. All right, so you do get advantage on it.

Okay, even better. That would be... Boy. 22? 22. In that moment of frustration, as you all stand there glancing around the space, you hear and you glance over and see Yasha is just rage kicking this door once, twice, again, and again, and again.

And you think, what bad things can happen when rage kicking a trapped door? And as you begin to go in to try and say something to stop or prevent the circumstance, her fury and strength still pushing into it, you watch as the wood begins to give, and with one final kick, the door slams open,

breaking off of the grip that the handle once had. It opens up, and you can see before it, the open doorway. So this hallway before you, due to the nature of this broken door, is drifting away from you. Go, go, go, go, go! Run, run, run, run! All right, so you all start running in. I need you all to make an athletics check for me,

to leap as the connection between this chamber, this egress, and the hallway has been severed and it is drifting. All right, all right, the ladies will make it. It was Mage's Bane or something? Mage's Bane. Mage's Bane. All right, all right, the ladies will make it. It was Mage's Bane or something. Mage's Bane. Mage's Bane. 20 flat, 14. 20.

26. 15. 20. 20? Okay, you all quickly run and leap into this black void space, the in-between, where these various pockets of magecrafted dimensions are tenuously tethered to each other,

this tether now broken. In that space, as you leap and you see the edge of this hallway beginning to pull away and the stone begin to break and bend at the edges where it unravels, you feel like you might just fall up or fall down or to the side. Suddenly, there's that moment where gravity

and direction doesn't make much sense. Beauregard, you land. Fjord, you land and you feel the bricks give way and you just continue to push forward. Yasha, you catch the lip of it and you feel it give way. It's like stepping on the edge of a water bed where it just gives underneath your weight and you begin to lose yourself.

Your balance begins to shift and you reach out and grab the side of the wall and that begins to give as well. You've made the leap, but the actual tunnel is collapsing. Okay. I am going to cast Radiant Soul, bamf out my wings and try to find some, just fly through the hallway. All right.

You guys watch as Yasha begins to tumble backward into the space and then the glowing white feathered wings erupt from behind her shoulders. And with that, you pick up your momentum to pursue the path that your friends are currently there waiting, and she gains on you. This does enable you to continue through this hallway

before it entirely collapses. As you all push past, you come towards the edge of the doorway into the familiar hexagonal chamber. It is at a heavy side angle to the left. Everything is this odd side. It's almost like you're coming into a room from the wrong element.

But as soon as you come through that space, you shift and gravity writes itself into the orientation of this room. You see in this chamber the familiar study where the large portrait of Halas would be, but apparently has been taken down. You can see the various bookcases are currently emptied and the desk drawers are partially ajar

and themselves also without contents. Indeed, this place has been ransacked by- Oh, that removes temptation. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Well, this place has been ransacked by poplars. That removes temptation. Yeah. Yeah, it does. Well, we got through. Except for a handful of books that remain on the bookshelves, three in particular scattered amongst the room.

And there is the stained glass up above the heavy right side bookshelves, where you can still see the wide network of the various outer and inner planes all interwoven and plotted out, and the familiar small red gem amongst them. I can hear what you're thinking. I'm not, I didn't say shit.

You can go look at the books real fast, because we're like, you know, it's probably been a month already on the outside. Oh, that's not what I was thinking. I'll assist. All assist. What were you thinking? Give him Browsies. Oh no, I was just wondering.

Going to poke some gems. Some other gems? No, I'm... Wait, what are the gems? The gems were something? What's the gem? So on that stained glass window, we touch the red one in the middle. It'll send us to the next place we need to go.

Great. Immediately. But do you want to look at the three books or we just go? Let's look at the three books. All right, let's look at the three books. Let's do it. We'll do it fast. Let's all pick up a book. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Touch a book. Okay, okay, okay.

Just going to, I'll take this one over here. Just look, don't touch. I'm not, I'm just looking. Okay, so there's one closest to you, which is to the right of you, as you head towards the upward area to where the stained glass is. There's one that's in the far left side

and one of the smaller bookshelves resting to the right underneath where the portrait used to be. And there's one on the very, very far end that you can just barely make it. Okay, okay, well, I'll go take a book. Okay, okay. Fine, we split up. One, one, one. Okay, who's going to I'll go take a book. Okay, okay. Fine, we split up. One, one, one. Okay, who's going to which one?

I'll take the one by the portrait. I'll take the one far away. Yeah, I'll go far left cubby corner. Okay. Also, also, remember the furniture here can turn into shit. So if it moves, you fuck it up and then you go to the stained glass window immediately

and touch the red. Touch the redstone. Yeah, I point out the redstone in the stained glass window that hasn't changed, right? Make a perception check. Fucking Mercer! 19! Looks pretty much the same as you recall.

God. All right, so who's doing what with which book? I just want to read the spine. You read the spine, there is no title on it. There is a chain wrapped around it, though, like a blackened chain that's around the binding. Dicks. It's got a chain? You have a chain around yours?

Yeah. Don't touch it. Do you have a chain around yours? Why? Not wrapped around it, but where the, not on the spine, but on the inside, you can see there's some sort of a locking mechanism that closes the book that is locked to the back wall. Like it is kind of fixed to the back of the bookcase.

Oh, it's like locked to the actual thing? Mine's locked. It's stuck to it. Like a diary? What? Like a diary? I don't know, it doesn't have anything on the outside. It's got a lock. Should we just take them and then look at them later? Or are they actually connected to the thing?

What'd yours look like? Does yours have any chains or locks or lockets? Mine's ready to go. And what is it? Is it chained? I don't touch it. It doesn't appear to be chained. I'll check the spine, see if I can see anything. What languages do you know?

Abyssal, Celestial, and Common. You do not recognize the text on the spine of this book. It says something, it says something, but I can't read it. Yeah, I mean, look, if a super powerful wizard like Yuzha came in here and took everything except these three. There's a reason.

Yeah, but what if Caleb could use them, you know? I want to give it to Caleb, too, but also I want the three of us to be able to go back to Caleb. Fair, fair, fair, fair, fair. Okay, let's go. Okay. You're just going to leave them?

Yep. We're not even going to know what they are? We just got, we barely escaped Trent twice. Not fucking around with death books. Can you at least just look at the spine of this one to see if any of you can read it? I read Orcish and Common. I'm pretty sure it's not in Orcish.

I read Deep Speech and Undercommon. None of you can recognize the text from the spine of this book. Goddamn it. Let's go. Yeah. Does yours say anything? No. No, it's just got a log. Being a Cobalt Soul monk who can speak languages, can I deduce what the language might be,

even though I can't read it? We have that monk ability where you can understand languages, but not read them, correct? Yeah, I can speak them, but I can't read it. Yeah, if you don't have this particular language chosen, then you would not, unfortunately. You recognize the script looks somewhat elvish in nature. It looks like an older form of elvish or sylvan,

but it's not something that you can like. To be fair, mine is attached. Is yours, can you pick it up and bring it with you? Or is it chained to the furniture? I'm going to reach out and touch it. You touch the book. Can I pull it off the shelf? You can, or you try to as you pull.

It's tethered. There is a chain on the back end, and as you tug it, you hear something else in the chamber. Gotta go. Gotta go? Gotta go. We run, we run. What's happening? We run. One of the bookshelves on the opposite right side, right where you are standing, Ashley, begins to shift.

Into the floor and behind it, you can see revealed what was hidden behind it, what looks to be a humanoid shape made of carved brown clay. Oh! About nine feet tall. And as it slowly descends past, its head goes towards you and its eyes flash. Let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. All right, so you all rush up towards the top. I pick you up and fly, but you can run up walls and shit and you have wings, so. I'm good. I'm like, Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'll just, with what, I mean, my. The wings would have probably dropped by this point.

Okay. It's going to last for about a minute. Okay. But you run pretty quick. Yes. So as you all dart up to the, above these bookshelves to get to that stained glass, you begin to hear this bookshelf, as it's lowering, is lowering too slow for this creature,

and you can see the wood splintering. And bits of wood and splinters are scattering across the stone floor. You all get to the top and the stained glass is there. It's right here, touch it at the same time. One, two, three. As you all touch it, suddenly, the stained glass shatters into a thousand pieces, revealing this black space, star-filled void in front of you.

And with that, this this horrendous sucking sound fills your ears as you feel yourself suddenly dragged into it. This force of gravity just plucks and pulls all of you into this black, vacuous void. You have no ability to withstand it, and you give in as you are plunged into nothing, into space, into void.

With that, as the glass around you dissipates, you see it reform behind you, and the stained glass just fades away into nowhere. And then suddenly, you're falling. You're falling, you're falling, and you look down below and you can see stone rushing towards you as you all, in a flash of light,

plummet approximately 30 feet out of the air onto a stone floor. I need you all to make an acrobatics check for me, please. Slow fall as well. Ooh. We fell on a tree again. Natural 20? Natural one. Oh. But don't you have monk shit? Yeah, it's dragon. That's 20. Natural one. Oh, come on.

But don't you have dope monk shit? Yeah, it's fine. Not for everything. I have Slow Fall. You do have Slow Fall, that's all right. Yeah, I negate fall damage. Yeah, well, you would be 13 points of bludgeoning damage. You take half, so that's six points of bludgeoning damage to you.

Six points, okay. 13 to you, Fjord, and you take, I'm pretty sure, none. Yep. Because I'm wrong. She does have dump moak shit. I totally forgot. My failure's ability to take full damage. Fuck up your superhero fall and just like. Oh man. Yeah, don't look good.

It's not a great three-point landing, I'm not going to lie. But you all look around the space and you are now getting up in this chamber that is familiar to two of you. It is a Y-shaped chamber with these two wide ridges on this side, and you are in the left-hand side, in the middle area, and on the far, far end, you can see what looks to be a pedestal of some kind

with an orb affixed to it. This was where the dragon was previously encountered. You could see the grooves that went along the ground that splinter off into the two other sides of the chamber. Any carcass? No carcass. They're clean. This is our way out. That pedestal will form. At the end of either of those halls,

we have to charge those sigils with cold energy. I have that. You do. And then it should present us a way out of here. Yeah. Okay. Ready to go? Yeah, ready. Cool. Anything in this room that's different or that catches our eye? Make a perception check. Any locked fucking books?

Ooh, 18. These are good perception checks. Good. Nothing at the moment. I'm going to do this quickly. I will cast Armor of Agathys on myself. All right. At first level for this, and I will run down to either of the two,

let's say left first. Okay. At the split and find that sigil. So you head on the left side, and there, you see this is right there. As you approach and step within its space, the ice energy that's gathered around your torso begins to break off in chunks

and it all begins to form into the sigil. It glows and you watch as the groove on the ground begins to alight with crackling arcane energy. It hits the center point and then reflects, bending off, heading towards the far end of the chamber. And you both see that sphere on the opposite end begin to faintly glow on top of the pedestal. Is that supposed to happen?

This is normal. That's normal, that's good. I start running back towards the middle and I'm like, one more! I head down the other way. All right, as you're doing that, you begin to hear, both of you, this distant shattering sound.

Oh. And this faint tearing noise. As you glance above, you see in a stone ceiling, this line tears open into a black star scape. Go fast! I'm going fast. All right. I take out the Holy Avenger to be ready, just in case. Okay. It is unattuned,

so it just acts as a standard greatsword, just so you know. All right, you rush to the other side and there's the secondary crystal there waiting for you with the glyphs around the base of it. What do you do? Run up. Don't be there. And I headbutt it. Yep.

Nothing? What are you trying to do here? I'm going back at this. I'm going to Vagathos. I'm going to Vagathos. You've cast it once and it's gone. I'm going to Vagathos, first level again! But I like that you did headbutt it first. Ow!

Fuck! As the singular trickle of blood drips down your forehead. It's dreadful. It's good, it's good. It needs blood magic, this one. Ugh! And you can't cast it at first level.

You always cast at max level as a warlock. Fuck! I mean, it's fine. I mean, it doesn't matter. That's not true. You only get spell slots, as it is, yeah. I get three first level slots and three five level slots. No, you don't. According to D&D Beyond, I do.

Oh wait, no, as a paladin. That's right. I'm sorry, I missed. So yeah, you can cast both ways. You are correct, you can do that. I'm sorry, I forgot that for a moment. It's been paladin. That's right. I'm sorry, I missed. So yeah, you can cast both ways. You are correct, you can do that. I'm sorry, I forgot that for a moment. It's been a while. That's on me. Travis got a gotcha moment on me. Well done. Oh god.

Uh-oh. What is that? What is that? Uh-oh, the cat toy? The chamber is collapsing. He's coming. What is it? It sounds like a turtle. Is it your vibrator?

That's Travis's personal massager. It's on the electric side over here. Ooh, jeez! Don't die! Is that a live wire? What was that? Something's spinning up over here. Interesting. Do you have a motor for your fog machine?

I haven't used it in a while, so no. It sounds like it's for the fog machine. It might've been something that accidentally got enclosed there. Well. Interesting. Do you want to plug it? Do we need to unplug it? No, I think we're okay. We should, it's spinning up.

Is it? Okay. It's spinning? Yeah, something or whatever. Let's, can we have a TD? Or sorry, can we have Jerry? I got it. Oh, oh, oh. I got it, I turned off up here.

It looks like it was plugged into the thing. Oh, gotcha, nice. Even though, Yay's going to be the live experience. Just to add to the full stress. Yeah. Woo! Of the thing. Well, we'll edit that out. Yeah. Oops. Don't fuck with electrical whirring things.

So, as you cast Armor Agatha's a second time at the next crystal, as the blood trickles down your face, that too breaks off and is pulled into the crystal. time. And the next crystal, as the blood trickles down your face, that too breaks off and is pulled into the crystal. That glows and then you watch as the route meets the secondary one. At this point, you both looking up, you can see something float by

before it begins to descend rapidly in your direction. What do you do? Didn't you follow us, that big golem thing? I'm running, I'm running. Doesn't look like the- I'm running to you. We need to get out of here. Okay, okay, come on, come on, come on. Just ready to, that big golem thing? I'm running, I'm running. Doesn't look like the- I'm running to you. We need to get out of here, that spear got you. Okay, okay, come on, come on, come on.

Just ready to go, just in case, but I'm- I'm backing up towards the pedestal. Okay, Fjord begins to approach right as it falls out of the ground, slams down onto its legs. The ground, the stone seems to crack slightly under its weight. Go ahead and make a general dexterity check for me. That's just mean. Four.

It drops and cuts you off from the other two. Cool. I scream out, hey! Come here! Make an intimidation check. Duh! Oh, minus two for intimidation, okay. You can use your strength for it. Okay, okay, okay.

I'll say, for purposes of that, it makes sense. 13 total. 13 total. It stays locked onto Fjord. That's okay. And I would like you all to roll initiative. We don't have to go into a battlefield for this since we only have three players,

so we're going to play this one more theater of mind. Theater of the mind! Hey, that was the best. So Fjordafjord was not locked to you by Dwarvenforge. It's better. It had nothing to do with it. I'm going to use my boots. It's boots time. Oh, wow. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. Nothing to do with it. I'm going to use my boots.

It's boots time. Oh wow. All right, so 25 to 20. Sorry, 22. 20. Ooh, nice. 18, sorry. Oh wow, look at this.

Yes. Okay. So as it now stands up, after impacting the ground and rising its form, you can see where its forearms widen into these massive battering ram-like fists made of some sort of a hardened clay. Looking straight towards you,

it has a somewhat featureless face other than a bump of a nose and these burning yellow eyes that are looking right towards you as it glances towards you. However, Beauregard, you were up first. What are you doing? Oh my goodness gracious.

Clay pipes are about to burst. This is some anti-magic shit. Um. I feel like constructs can't be stunned, but I don't know if it's a construct. Okay, you know what? I'm going to run up and I'm going to take my staff out. I'm going to go for the knees.

Okay. Oh, that was really bad. I want to make sure you get by first. I have jumping around shit for days. Run! Did I move? How much movement did I use? I'll say five feet. You have jumping, you can get, you can get.

You guys were waiting for Fjord to get there and it just divided between the two of you. So you were backing up a little bit into the hallway. So it'd be about five feet to get back to where you were. Okay. First hit is, er, er, shit. Uh-huh.

18. 18 hits? Stunning strike. Uh-huh. 18. 18 hits. Stunning Strike. Roll damage first. Our gals. Okay. My brain, 12. 12 points damage already.

Stunning Strike. That is an eight. He is stunned. Yes, he is. That is an eight. He is stunned. Yes, he is. And then second damage. Great. Nine damage. Nine damage, yeah.

So as you pummel him twice from behind. Okay. Not too bad. Your fist actually finds a portion of the hardened clay armor that cracks, and as it breaks through, you hit something softer on the inside. Okay. And as it does, you watch from its side as it brings its fist back,

it locks up into place, and it's holding its position in the eye, as the energy flickering as it's not moving. Right in the sciatic nerve. Okay, and I'm going to bolt to the thing. All right, as you see it locked up and freezing in place, you hear this slight whine sound, like this echoing inside of it.

You rush back and dart towards the far end of the chamber where the now brightly glowing sphere is. That finishes your go. Yeah. How far away am I from the sphere now? Oh no, you are, it is a 60-foot tunnel and you were, so you're almost there. Okay. I'll hear the whining sound

and it locked up in this position and I will not do magic stuff and just like, , walk around with you and try and bolt physically without using magic past it. Okay. Nothing to see here. Any swipes up my back?

None. Ooh, okay. I will double that and just try and move all the way to the, as far as I can, for 60 total feet. Right, so you don't quite get there. You're about 10 feet away because you had to move around it and then go down the length of the 60-foot run at that point. We're pretty close together now.

Well, it comes to Yasha's turn. Yasha was right about there as well. So what are you doing for your turn? I am going to slowly back up. Okay. Not slowly, fast, rather. A fast backwards run, which doesn't make any sense. And just keeping my eye on him

and trying to get back to the sphere. Okay, cool. So if you use your action and your movement. It's the hilt of my sword. Yeah. I know, that did look like it. Yeah. Stay back! It's the timing.

So yeah, if you use your action and your movement, you can get there without an issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so you rush over there and you can see now this spherical placed-in crystal that matches the other ones, but is a bit larger and has a bunch of runes and signs around it. That's your turn.

Is there anything else you want to do? Or just wait for them? I'm going to rage just in case. Sure, go in there. Go to a waiting rage. Go in there, go in there. Go to Awaiting Rage. Go in there, go in that cave. Yes. Got it.

I like real ads, stay there. Yeah, just in case. Okay. Learn my lesson. The entity is stunned, so it stays there until the end of your next turn. Yeah. But we're good. All right, we ready?

Yeah. Let's do the thing? Touch it again? Yeah, the big glowing sphere, you touch it. Let's do it, and round up. Pop the pedestal. Touch the sphere. Beau just appears to atomize.

No! Yep. Go, let's go! Yes, me too! Yep. Go! Yes! Let's go! Me too! Almost. The three of you vanish. And now we move to the other group. Oh, Jesus, those pauses are killer. How long was that?

How long was that? It was a while. About 45 minutes. It was almost an hour. Almost an hour. We'll find out. So we're level 15 now, right? Yeah. I got four more eyes. The rest of you.

Oh no. Oh no. Arrive in a shaded cavern lit by numerous nebulous sources of firelight. Glancing about, you see a tall, rocky ceiling that reaches above you, porous in black as a number of chain lanterns hang to cast some additional light within the inside.

The air smells of sulfur and charcoal, and it is uncomfortably hot in here. You immediately break into a sweat. As your eyes begin to adjust to the darkness in here, with the bits of pinpoint light, you can see some of that glow in here, some of the source is, instead of just being a small fire or a lantern,

there is a pouring river of molten rock that is slowly snaking its way through the chamber. It's snaking its way. What an asshole. SAM and LAURA laugh I take my 7d6 sneak attack damage. SAM and LAURA laugh SAM and LAURA laugh

And as you all take in this quiet surrounding in the space around you. Caleb and Caduceus, and Jester as well, I'd say, you can see elements of furniture not far from you. To your left, you can see some tables and a shelf unit and some scattering of instruments and a chair in the middle of this hellscape of a chamber. But here you are.

Does it look like old furniture or does it look like it's in use? You can certainly go check if you like. From our current vantage point, are there any tunnels out, doors out, any way out of the chamber that we're in that we can see? Make a perception check. Okay. I'm going to just walk up.

I'm not going to touch anything. I'm just going to look at the couch or whatever. One? Yep. The light in here is a little dark and there's a lot of odd tricks it's playing on you with the variations between shadow and bright burning rock. You probably have to take a little more time

to figure that out. As you look into the furniture nearby, there is a faint dusting of soot across it, but it all is fairly made and looks like it's very well crafted, it was probably either made by some great artisan somewhere. Like not giant size or anything? No, normal person size. You do see a cluster of notebooks

on the base part of one of the shelves. And the shelves are mostly empty, except for a handful of these notebooks piled in there. Can I look at one of the shelves. And the shelves are mostly empty, except for a handful of these notebooks piled in there. Can I look at one of the notebooks? Careful over there. Sure. The first thing you notice as you pick it up and look through it, it's not made of normal paper.

The pages in this are like a flexible, fireproof, enchanted silk. Oh. Wow. And they're cold to the touch, unnaturally so versus everything else in this are like a flexible, fireproof, enchanted silk. Oh wow. They're cold to the touch, unnaturally so versus everything else in this chamber, which has a very warm, almost hot temperature to it. Even as you get up off the ground, the ground almost burns your hands just touching it.

And the air is thick and heavy, and even just breathing in here is a little uncomfortable. If you breathe in too much too quickly, the heat begins to actually scald the inside of your lungs a little bit. What languages do you know? Infernal and Common. Okay. What were you saying, Caduceus?

I was just going to throw a Detect Magic up just to see if any of this stuff is Do Not Touch. You don't recognize anything magical in the space here, necessarily. Okay. Maybe some faint elements of some of the instruments, but you haven't gotten a good look at them, and it's a faint aura on them.

All right. I assume I don't understand any of the words. You do, actually. But we'll get to that in a moment, because right now the rest of you are kind of taking in the space. Marion is like, So, where are we?

Well, we don't exactly know, but the plan is we are just going to check this area, make sure it's safe and hopefully stay put until the others join us, and then we will leave. I don't know what your daughter is doing, but when she's done, I can throw up a protective barrier for all of us, and we can spend most of our time in there,

and it will be far more comfortable than this is. It's okay, Mama. I'm just looking to see if this says who owns this place. Very well. You hear another voice call. Whoa, cool! It is cool, it is cool, but this is a field trip like when you go to a museum

and can't touch anything. So we should just look with our eyes, but not with our hands. Is that lava? It's real lava. Yeah. How? Yeah. Don't touch. No. No. He grabs his shoulders from behind and pulls them close.

Honey? Uh-huh? How long are we going to be here? Well, a day, a night. We might have to spend the night here, but that's only so that the magic users can rest up and then we'll be off to a much safer place. So far, pretty safe, though.

Nobody's here, right? If you see anything strange, just let us know. And if you notice the damp parts of my trousers, don't tell anyone. You know what? Here. Here, take this. It's actually drying off pretty quickly. Take this scepter.

Just hold on to it for me. I don't need it right now. Just hold on to it for a while, and it might, just in case, just hold on to it and just get a feel for it for about an hour. Just in case. Okay. All right. Yeah. Can I sit?

Is there anything moving on the horizon? Anything strange? Make a perception check. Just roll the one I can't read well, because that's funny. 16. 16? I mean, there are flickers of firelight dancing across the ceiling, refracting through them to give variations in visibility in the chamber. There are rocks and boulders and elements

that peek at different edges of the walls and some obscure elements of the lava flow in the far corner, and the lanterns themselves have a flickering to them as well. You do see, either all the way around the southern exterior of where this pool seems to descend beneath the ground, or across it directly,

you can see an opening that progresses out of this chamber. Huh. So? So we can get out, things can get in. Well, I mean, how big is that passage that he found? It's about 10 feet across or so, and maybe about eight feet tall. It's not perfectly carved.

It looks naturally formed, like a lava tube of some kind. Like air, over time, jettisoned out and created this escape. I may have something. I have ideas as well. Now, while you're discussing that, you're looking through this element. It's written in Infernal, and even just at a quick glance, it talks a lot about connections between planes.

It discusses the odd network of locations and overlapping realms, existences. It seems, as opposed to any sort of long form explanatory book, it is a bunch of notes. So it has a shorthand feel to it. You're having a hard time making sense of it all, since it seems to be notes written to the reader for later conjecture.

How you can take more time and read it, but it'll take time to read it. What are we doing? We are just getting an idea of our safety here. You all right over there? I'm okay. I'm just reading about all the different planes. I'm going, I'm just reading about all the different planes. I'm going to put down the happy fun ball.

I'm going to just pull out my pen and start making additional notes in the notebook. Okay. Make sure the fun ball doesn't roll away or anything. Yeah, I'm standing and the fun ball's between my feet, you know, when you hold it between your feet. Maybe put a rock or something. I'm just holding it between my feet.

Teleport out into the lava. How big is this hallway opening? Is it standard door size? Eight feet tall cavern, he said. Yeah, eight feet tall, about 10 feet wide, and it's higher on one side than the other. So it's about seven foot on one and eight and a half on the other.

It's lopsided and natural. I could burn a lot of magic and seal it shut. If I fling, flip through the stuff, can I find specific planes? Is there a page dedicated to each plane, or is it like? If you want to take, I mean, flipping through, it's still investigation. If you want to roll an investigation check

to see if you're looking for anything specific. The dome's radius is high enough to block, to touch the scenes. Hey, Traveler, check this out. Okay, I think you're here. So the dome would seal it anyway? Yeah. Do we wait for them to bamf out before dome?

23. 23? Okay. Yeah, we definitely should. I'd say put it up, and when they come out, they come out. Yeah, dome is, I just need a little bit of time, but it's a pretty limitless resource if we're safe. I will keep an eye in this direction,

and if anything moves, I'll, I don't know what I'll do. Just tell them Halas, Yussa sent us. Don't mention Halas. Should I go look outside the cavern just to get a sense of where we are and if things are coming towards us or anything? You can, while I begin.

I will sit down, I will walk over to where Caduceus is and first pat him on the back and say, I mean, I'm scared for us, but this was an excellent idea. to where Caduceus is and first pat him on the back and say, I mean, I'm scared for us, but this was an excellent idea. Thank you. It was last minute. I'm already finding some breaks in my logic, but thank you. No, no, don't sell yourself short. Thank you. And Caleb will sit and begin to, he pulls out his book and begins to ritual cast the dome

where the chamber is. It has a radius of 10 feet. So if the archway of this cavern or passage is seven or eight feet, the dome could act like a cork in the bottle. And even if you take too long, please don't take too long. You can still come back in. Does anyone hurt, by the way?

So you're going to do it now? I will begin. It's going to take me 10 or 11 minutes. Why don't I just go peek out and just get a sense of where we are, or if we're in immediate danger or anything. Yeah, careful. Okay. We're not in immediate danger.

Everything's fine, Mama. This certainly feels like immediate danger, but. No, no, no, no, no. We're just visiting somebody's house, that's all. They left the heat on. It's fine. Guidance or resistance? I'm trying to decide.

Do you want to be safe from things or do you want to be better at things? Better. Guidance it is. Okay. So I'll sneak, sneak and stealth, stealth and sneak. Beth, give her a little. I would, but I'm in the middle of perception check.

I wouldn't be. Carry on. I'm going to just go over to the mouth of the cave, Matthew, and just peek out stealthily. All right, well, go ahead and roll a stealth check to... 30. Okay, that's pretty stealthy. As you make your way through the tunnel,

it is fairly lightless for about 120 or so feet. it is fairly lightless for about 120 or so feet. Oh, that's long. So it curls, kind of waves back and forth. You're lost in the darkness at this point. You're having to feel your way around. So there's no mouth of it?

At this tunnel, not yet. Oh, it just keeps going. It just keeps going for the time being. Do you keep going? No. No, once I get about 120 feet, I'll turn back. Well, make a perception check. Oh boy.

With disadvantage. Disadvantage. Because you're in pitch black. You can add a D4 to it. Oh. Pretty good. 19. For me, that's good. It's been fairly dark and that fear is creeping

into your mind of like, this could be an endless oubliette of lightless death and I could just vanish from my own. And right as that thought hits you, you can see just the very faintest bit of light reflecting off the far wall before it curves in the corner. The first change you've seen in this black expanse. Don't trust it. Don't trust it.

It's like, did you ever see the Descent where it feels like you see light, but then you're in a cavern and it's the trick of your eyes and you end up trapped down in forever? You know what? Thanks, little boy. I never saw the Descent, so I'll keep going. Okay. It's so good.

It's really good. You've got to watch it. I'll just peek around. Originally, UK version, not the shitty American ending. Watch the Descent. Watch the descent. Yeah. You continue down this tunnel and the light gets brighter and brighter.

And then eventually you see an end, an opening, kind of an orangish haze beyond it. Like the cave, like the tunnel ends in just pure orange or opens out to something? It ends and then just at this distance, like the cave, like the tunnel ends in just pure orange or opens out to something? It ends, and then just at this distance, you just see just an orange haze. You'd have to kind of walk to the end

to kind of really look out to where it's going. Boy, that's dangerous. I have to walk out of the cave to see. Or much closer to the entrance. How far from me? I'd say 40, 50 feet. Oh my god, it's so far. It's so fucking far.

I'm like 200 feet away from these people now. I feel like someone in this campaign stepped out and got instantly squished in one of these scenarios before. Who was it? I don't remember. I don't know, I have to go quick. Smaller character. Smaller. Barely remember his name.

I will. Splat? Splart. Splart. I will turn around and go back. Okay. You trace your way back? Yes. Hey, hey.

There's an end to this tunnel. Okay, okay. It's 200 feet away. I'm not really good in the dark. I think I should use the buddy system. There's no end to this tunnel. Okay, okay. It's 200 feet away. I'm not really good in the dark. I think I should use the buddy system. There's no traps or anything. Someone want to come and just check it out with me one more time?

I'll come with you as soon as I get done looking at this journal that I'm busy looking at. Oh, okay. Seems weird, but sure. Hey, have you ever seen The Descent? Oh my gosh. It's so scary. I haven't.

Super claustrophobic. Anyway, what'd you find? I don't know. I rolled a 23, though. You did. And as you're glancing through, I mean, there are maps of the cosmic planes matched with equations, kind of half-built that you don't really understand.

Small notes in the margins about people and places within each of these locations. Pontification on balance and imbalance between them. Oh, I'm going to write, this plane made me have to poop. There you go. Make a dexterity check for me. What?

This roll is a gift. Right, from a... This is an Airbnb in hell or wherever. Or a fire plane or something. Nine? You said it was from a... You're having a hard time matching this handwriting. That's okay.

But it gets the point across. Yeah. The theories on a pattern of change begin to kind of peek through in some of the notes. A slow shift in the structure between the planes and a possible sudden shift in the cosmic tapestry down the road. And you can see a lot of these notes,

there's a combination of worry and excitement gleaned from them. This person is just pontificating about possible cosmic events down the road that could be catastrophic or very exciting and unique. Remaking of the cosmos. Wow. But they're all theories.

Okay. Hey, Caleb. Yes? When you get done, oh, can you read Infernal? Oh, you can if you give it some time. When you get done with your dome, you should totally look at this book because I think you would really like it.

It's got all these different planes and mathematical equations. I'm about to lose my place. No, no. Oh, just keep working then. Okay. Don't let me distract you. You're not very distracting. Okay.

So it's about astral planes and different cosmic lineups and stuff like that. It's really, anyway, I'm just going to put it right next to you. I'm going to go sneak down the tunnel with Veth. So if you need anything, we'll just be really close. Okay. So you finished thumbing through?

Yeah. Okay. I figure Caleb probably knows better than I do on that stuff. Okay. What do you do now? Want to come investigate with on that stuff. Okay. What do you do now? Want to come investigate with me? Yeah. Okay. But I got a little lost on the way, so I don't know. It's like a straight line.

Well, it winds a little. It's dark. I can't see in the dark. Okay. I'm going to hold your hand. Okay, hold my hand, but just know, I'm almost completely useless right now. You can see in the dark, right? Yeah. That's all. Okay. I'm going to hold your hand. Okay, hold my hand, but just know, I'm almost completely useless right now. You can see in the dark, right? Yeah. That's all.

Okay. Oh, Caleb, if you find anything about the Fey Realm or anything when you're looking at the different planes, let me know, because I would love to know more about the Fey Realm or the Astral Plane. I think that's a really important one. Okay, let's go. Carry the two.

Radius is 8.5 feet. Do you want my drift globe? Shit, I'm starting over.5 feet. Do you want my drift globe? Shit, I'm starting over. What's that? What's a drift globe? You want the drift globe. It floats, it's light. You have it? Yeah.

It wasn't stolen with all our other stuff? No, I carry it on my person at all times. Great, I'll take it. Careful, don't, don't. You can just do light or you can do daylight. We don't want daylight. I don't want daylight. Yeah. You're both healed up, right? You're good? I'm good.

I'm okay. Are you sure you don't want a little kick? You want a little kick? I'm okay, probably. Okay, one more, one more. Thank you. There you go. Okay.

So while you guys are going into the tunnel, Caduceus, what are you doing? I'm just keeping an eye out, well, Caleb, I'm keeping an eye out for Well, Caleb, I'm keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. This place is weird. Okay. As you're sitting there, keeping an eye out,

little Luc creeps up next to you and follows your eyeline. See anything? Yeah. What do you see? I don't know. Me neither. It's worrisome.

Yeah. What do you smell? It smells like farts. It does. Is that you? I mean, probably, yeah. Cool. Thank you.

I like your face. Oh, thank you. I like how tall you are. It's nice. What do you hear? Farts. Try and just listen for one at a time. That's the trick.

Hmm? I gently let one go. Starts laughing. Uncle Ducey. He'll go far. Gently. Gently. Don't force it. Just barely shivering. Like playingivering. Can't blow too hard. All righty, now, as the two of you

make your way down the tunnel. We're sneaking. We're sneaking. Snarlers, check on both of you, then, please. Okay, and also, you know, I'm going to guide myself. I'm going to guide, oh wait. Can I, Blessing of the Trickster, you don't need it. You've got advantage anyway. I'm going to guide myself. I'm going to guide, oh wait. Can I Blessing of the Trickster? You don't need it, you've got advantage anyway.

I'm okay. I'm going to guide myself. Okay. You've got guidance. I do. 32. 19. Okay.

You quietly make your way towards the edge of this tunnel. You're not using the Drift Club at the moment, right? No. Because that would break the stuff. That seems foolhardy. As you approach the opening, the mouth of this, you begin to carefully crystallize your vision on what was just this orange haze as you look out into this endless badlands

of broken, burning land and black rock. Distant mountains that are set aflame, and a sky horizon that is burning orange and red. You can see distant tornadoes of flame just tearing through the landscape and jutting bits of glass, like rock, that seems to be poking from beneath the ground and causing these beautiful, if dangerous,

jagged gardens of melted sand. On the far, far distant horizons, you can see black clouds of ash and the temperature on the inside of the tunnel is hot. It is even hotter outside. Even just inhaling causes you to cough a little bit from the heat.

Any signs of life out there? Not in the sense that you're used to. There's a lot of things moving around, but it all appears to be strangely weather patterns and fire and clouds and dust. This is awful. Yeah, this place sucks. Yeah. weather patterns and fire and clouds and dust. This is awful. Yeah, this place sucks. Yeah.

Just along the immediate area of where someone might walk into the cave, is there any signs of footprints or tracks of any kind? Go ahead and make a perception or investigation check. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Can I give you advantage? Because can I help? Ooh, ooh, ooh. Can I give you advantage? Because I can I help? Sure.

Don't you just roll. No, no, you do it. You double-double. Investigation, natural 20. Damn, for a total of? If I use Caduceus's whatever, that's 35. Jesus. You do see footprints. You see a number of sets of footprints

that would be faded, kind of leading just outside of the cave. And once they begin to open to the ashy exterior, they are buried. They're just a bunch of soot and dust has filled it. But you see all manner of humanoid footprints going in and out. I can't tell how old they are?

Would that roll? Yeah, you would. Probably a year or more, you gather. Wow. I just kneel down next to Veth and look at her and say, you are really good at this. The light is just perfect.

It's this orange glow. I can see everything right now. You should seriously, if we save the world and we end up not dying over everything and Yeza's okay with it, we should seriously think about opening up a detective agency. I thought about that a lot, actually. Right? Yes.

I have some other ideas, but yes, that sounds, we could crack some case. I mean, you're a natural. Your instincts are second to none. Thank you so much. And we're a good team because you can, when we have to interrogate someone, you can turn on the charm,

you can woo them with your wiles. I can make them totally fall in love with me with spells. Do you think we would investigate, because most private-for-hire detectives investigate like, oh, I think she's cheating on me, that sort of boring stuff. Are you interested in that?

I mean, I like the high-profile cases, you know what I mean? I agree. I don't want to just be tracing, tracking some guy. Murder. And catching him fondling some person in the alley. I don't care about that. Boring. Murder, espionage. Kidnap.

Grand thefts. Carriage. Yeah. Yep. Definitely. All right. By what will do you disturb the sanctum? At this point, you realize your conversation may have gotten a bit loud,

and this voice emerges from the space around you, sounding like a roaring, crackling fire and a dense wind filled with sand and dust battering the side of a rock-filled valley. What? What is it? The sanctum must be cleansed. No, no, no, no, no.

So Yussa sent us, Yussa sent us, Yussa sent us. Make a perception check. We are great detectives. Okay. Hardy boy. 20... 24. 24. 24.

As you're both on the cusp of this cavern, looking out of this expanse and investigating the walkway out and having this conversation, you hear the voice and you glance up, and there, standing right above the lip of this, and you now can see behind you this massive blackened mountain,

this volcanic mass of rock, in which various long tendrils of glowing orange lava are pouring on the sides. You see, clasped over the side, a massive semi-humanoid, almost feminine figure made of just roiling flame. This entire torso, just burning ember and bright light and fire. the head itself, the hair,

the swirling mass of spiraling flame, the eyes, these burning cinders. The sanctum must be cleansed. And it dives, curling over on the inside. This is a large entity that darts into the tunnel like a reverse backdraft. Past us? They didn't respond to my use of sent us?

At the moment, it did not. Oh no! We should take off after the Alice will sprint. Oh shit. We found someone! As you guys are rushing past to follow, you can see the light source of this flaming entity just vanishing. It is much quicker than both of you. Even at a full dashy run, I can't count.

At a full dash run, you can go how fast in turn? 30, 30, 30. So 90 if I use my action. I can go 60 on a turn. You cannot keep up with this entity. Oh! As it darts around, the rest of you are sitting there waiting not keep up with this. Oh! As it darts around. The rest of you are sitting there waiting

and you hear some, these faint voices and shouting, or conversation from the far end echoing down the hallway, and you hear, sourceless, echoing through the tunnel, the same phrasing, the same, By what will do you disturb the sanctum? Oh dear. If I've run a whole round, can I cast Message yet?

The sanctum must be cleansed. Marion, Yeza, Luc, please back up to the end of the cavern, please. And they all begin to back up. Marion takes Luc and Yeza, and both of them pull them back towards the shelving unit on the far side and there's a little space behind it that they begin to shuffle in towards. Luc and Yeza, both of them pull them back towards the shelving unit on the far side

and there's a little space behind it that they begin to shuffle in towards. I'm behind that furniture, thank you. You ready? Sure. What are you doing? I'm casting Message as I run to Caleb, saying, Fire creature incoming! Get ready, get to safety!

I'm going to just be shouting as I'm running down, going, We made no harm! We're just friends, we're just visiting! I'm going to not shove hard, but just scooch Caduceus away from me so that we split away from the entrance of that cavern, going to the sides. Okay.

Let me go ahead and arrange. Whoa! Oh shit. Oh no. That's a little bad. Oops, that was probably my fault. Jester and Nott were in the in-between space from Beetlejuice, where the sandworms live, going like, what do you want to do this weekend?

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Dwarven Forge CR. Holy shit. Marion. What the fuck, man? Luke. This is gorgeous. And Yeza. The lava is so cool. Why? Dude, it's cooling in the pool.

Wow. That looks awesome. So Caduceus and Caleb, whereabouts are you? If this is the exit you found, then this is the little study area there. Is there a safe way away from the exit into the chamber, or is it all locked off from lava flow? It's around here.

Okay. A very thin bridge. Oh my gosh. Well, then, since I just said what I said about Caduceus, I'll say that I'm still in harm's way by the exit. Over here? Well, I pushed Caduceus out of harm's way in the door, so no. Shoot. I mean, you tell me, but I thought,

this is not going to work at all. I would have been right at the arch. That's where I was casting the dome. Correct, yeah, so you would have been right about there. Let's say I'm still there and I push Caduceus out of the way to safety. Which way do you push Caduceus? Away from the lava.

This away, sideways. Here? No, no. It went across the bridge. Behind Caleb, yeah, yep. Okay. Yep, that's it. I will ask you to make an acrobatics check, Caduceus, as this is a rapid attempt to move past a very thin channel

that when you're taking your time is not too difficult, but in a rush. I don't have time to give myself anything. It's not terribly difficult. Acrobatics check. Where's my acrobatics? That's 13. 13 will do it. So you manage to push past and put yourself on that end, and the heat is just burning.

It does cool a little bit once it seems to hit that bottom pool area, but nevertheless, it is dangerous. I would like everyone to roll initiative. Oh boy. You haven't seen this creature arrive yet. You're not entirely certain what it looks like, but we will get to that likely shortly. Well, that sucks.

All right. It's okay, it rolled a natural one, so it's going last, probably. Last. 25 to 20. 20 to 15. Come on, guys! Hey, if this was the one to roll poorly,

I guess this is the one. 15 to 10. Wow! What?! Has that ever happened before? Sub tens only? Wow. We're losers. Really? Your NPCs are going before you are.

Nine. Oh no! Nine! Your son is going to hit it before you do. Your four-year-old is faster than you. I also rolled a natural one. Okay, well, all right. So coming out of this, we have nine. Four.

Do-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo-yo. Okay, Jester. Wow, that's amazing. So coming out of this, we have nine for... Nine. Okay, Jester. Wow, that's amazing. I rolled a one for a total of six, I guess. So you're going simultaneously with this creature. Okay. Your dex is... 20?

Man, go ahead and roll a d20 for me. We'll see who goes first. Oh boy. Just the 12. It's going before you do. Oh man. All right, then we have, and Caduceus, you are what? Four. Four, so you're actually going last. Yep.

Oh god. All right, so for Marion, Luc, and Deezza's turn, they go ahead and push Luc behind this bookcase. Yeza's going to go ahead and dart behind this one to try and hide as well. And Marion's going to go ahead and go behind with Luc. And they're just trying to stay out of the way

while keeping an eye line on you best they can. That brings us to Caleb. What are you doing? Do I see this threat coming yet, or do I have a spirit? I will say, because the tunnel snakes a little bit, and all you see is this pitch black darkness, and suddenly, bright light just beginning to brighten and come your direction.

Once again, it's like a column of fire or a freight train about to come around the corner. It's just this. And do I feel heat coming as well? You might soon, but you see the light first. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am going to check something real quick.

The map looks great. That's gorgeous. It is so cool. Looks great on camera. Look at the little waterfall on the left. Isn't that awesome? Your mask's up. It'll be the last thing we see. Keep me humble. Keep it a-sumble, yeah.

Okay. I'm going to raise up Allura's staff and point it down the chamber, and I am going to fire off Cone of Cold. Yes! Down that hallway. Okay, so you're holding it until you see something? I will, if I see, well,

I feel like something hot is coming, so yeah, I'll say. You don't see a target yet is why. If you release it now, it may or may not hit. But the hallway's lit up, right? Like around the corner. I'll wait till I see it. I'll wait till I see it. Okay, so you're holding it until it erupts. You got it. It's a fair bet

that'll do well. Okay, so as you're holding the staff in front, what little bit of moisture your presence has brought begins to gather and crystallize in this vibrating burst of bluish-white ice energy at the edge of the staff, and you're just holding it. And you can feel it, it's fighting to be released, and you're having to hold the staff.

You're still not used to controlling it, and it's a little bit of a tug of war with the power that's being held at the tip of it. Easy, Benzie. And so you're staying put? Uh, yeah. Okay, that finishes your go. Jester, you're up.

Okay. Okay. How we feeling? How we doing? Well, I got two options here. I can try to play nice, or I can try to play mean. I don't know. We're in hell. Which way I want to go.

Yeah. Which way? Fuck it, I'm going to try. I'm going to go. Which way? Fuck it, I'm going to try. I'm going to try. Wait, hold on. I'm just going to say, I'm just going to say, because I don't know, I haven't done this one enough, to know if they get advantage if you're in combat on Modify Memory.

You're going to try Modify Memory? Yeah. Okay, yeah, we can totally give it a shot. All right. It's a wisdom saving throw? Mm-hmm. All righty. 17? 18. Okay, what do you do? I'm going to modify this creature's memory

to think that it knew we were coming and that we're friendly. That it received word ahead of time. It says you must speak to the creature to describe how its memories are affected. Okay. Oh, good. No, I mean, that's actually fine.

It's a full minute of concentration to do it, so it is charmed by you for the time period. So as it's not an instant. Oh wait, it's one action casting time. It's a concentration up to a minute of. Correct, while the charm lasts, you can affect the target's memory of an event that it's experienced in the last 24 hours

and lasts no more than 10 minutes. You must speak to the target to describe how its memory is altered. And if the spell ends before you finish describing the modified memory, the creature's memory isn't altered. Okay. This is a hard thing to use in combat, then.

Yeah, it's not really a combat spell, generally. Yeah. But situationally, it can be doable. Okay. So, as you finish casting the spell, and you're pretty confident that it took hold, it slows its traction, but it's charmed by you. But it's still working towards its goal.

So what are you shouting? Don't you remember that you got word like three hours ago that we were going to be here? We're the best of friends. We are friends with the people that live here, which could be you. Okay. That took less than six seconds to say, right?

There's like three. Yeah, sure, sure. Totally. In a very rapid, jester, rambling kind of way, totally. It makes complete sense. We got a code when we booked. Did you not see that? Your beat take will be a little faster. Okay.

Oh, and if you are fighting the creature who has advantage on the saving throw. Oh, see, that's what I was asking. I couldn't remember. Sorry. I double-checked that, so. That is a natural 20. No! I am so sorry.

I wouldn't have done it if he would've had advantage on it. It's at the top of the spell. I just looked up and saw that. I'm sorry. That's okay. Shit happens. Oh, that would have been really interesting, too. Well, you have another fifth-level spell.

You can always try it again if you're careful. It slows for a moment as you start shouting this, and it just seems to nudge its way forward and pick up things. Does Expedia exist? All right, that finishes it to, finishes your turn. It's now its turn.

Since it's going for a Veth. The creature, the brightness suddenly lights up the interior of the hallway like a rolling fireball. These flaming, curling horns leading it as it darts through. Just into range as you release the spell. This blast of freezing cold energy just immediately flash freezes the inside

of this entire hallway and blasts into this creature. Is it a constitution saving throw, correct? Ooh, ah, ee, ah, ooh, ah, ah. It is. 14. I do not believe it makes it based on the item, the DC of the... The DC, is the staff different than me? Hold on.

New toys. Come on. It made me not specify. If it does not specify, then it'd be your spell DC. My DC is... I'm pretty sure a 14 it doesn't make it, so just go ahead and roll damage. So 38 points of cold damage. 38 points of cold damage, you got it.

And I rolled a five, so the staff, which is now out of charges, did not lose all of its great powers. Oh, great. Great. Because if it rolls a one, it does. Yep. You got it, so it goes off. Immediately, the whole wall just flash freezes

and the creature pushes through it. You can see its flames burn brighter for a second, almost angrily pushing off the freezing cold. And at the same time, all the ice that's gathered in the walls immediately turns to vapor, instantaneously burned away. But it took a hit. With that, it's going to continue its movement.

I'm right in the path. Yes, you are. That is not a humanoid, is it? Nope. Nope. It rushes past you. Big girl. It's a big girl.

Igniting you. Oh no. So you are now on fire. Yeah. Go ahead and put that right there. So you are burning. What? That is a really cool fire elemental mini. This whole thing is cool.

Yeah, this is so sick. I'm going to stay right there, since you're the one that's immediately there and just blasted it. Angrily, it whooshes around and it's going to go ahead and do two touch attacks against you as it rakes its flaming claws

down towards you angrily, saying, The sanctum must be cleansed! Jesus Christ, natural 20. Cancel. Which you can do. Heads up! Still hits, though. Yeah. And that'll be a 14 to hit.

It does not hit. Caleb does like a crit, really. Yeah, let's be fair, huh? And a hit. Doesn't hit. Doesn't hit, all righty. So the one hit does hit you, it is not a crit. I bet you're close enough for that. What would you roll? Oh, it was still a 20. It was a natural 20.

Oh, it's still 20, okay. Yeah. But I can do Shield for that. So I will. You're going to do Shield for that? Yeah. Okay. That'll get me over 20. It will, yeah. Will the 20 still hit, though?

It was a natural 20, so its bonuses go on top of that. Oh, okay. So you can do a shield if you want to, if you feel it. If I understand how the rules work now, then no. If I play D&D now. Burn me, burn me, baby. Okay, you got it. Canceled. It would be burned.

Yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's just a normal hit, it's not a crit hit. Cool. 22 points of fire damage double dice. Yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah, it's just a normal hit, it's not a crit hit. Cool. 22 points of fire damage to you. Okay. And you are already ignited, so you're okay. As it stands there going, parts of its body are flickering and

swirling, and even the molten rock beneath it, you can see the parts that are starting to darken and cool, right below it are starting to brighten and heat up just with its proximity. That's going to end its go. It is now Veth and then Caduceus following up after that. I will run to hopefully get it within my sight? At this point, yeah.

You can, with your 30 movement, you can get to about there and see it. Up against Caleb. Is it within five feet of Caleb? It is. Or it's engaged with Caleb, all right. And so when we were robbed, would you think that I would have

my cataclysm bolts on me? Likely, you wouldn't have kept them in the... You wouldn't be able to draw them. Yeah, I'd probably have them on me. So I still have two of those. You do. But Caleb is right there. So maybe I don't want to be able to draw. Yeah, I probably have them on me. Yeah. So I still have two of those. You do. But Caleb is right there. So maybe I don't want to use one of those because

if it's the wrong one, it could really kill him. So I'll just fire a regular shot. I'll fire a regular bolt blaster shot. 15 plus things. So probably 26 to hit. That does hit, yeah. Because this creature is engaged, do I get my sneak attack?

You do. Okay. I love that we still ask it, that question at this point. Hey, it's always good to check. Six years. Yeah. 40 points of damage. 40 points of damage. 40 points of damage, slick! Reyes is raking into Caleb,

like Caleb and Nala just inflames, which is still within his expertise. You rush around the corner, see that, and fire at once, and it strikes it in the middle of the torso area, and you see as it impacts, a portion within its flames darkens for a second. The flames almost go like a blue-green angrily. It's reacting to the impact.

It looks like it took a hit. Took a hit, yeah. Okay, okay. How far away am I now from it? You are 25 feet from it. You've used your movement and your action. It's probably going to blast through the fucking thing. All right, I'll just fire again.

I'll fire again. Go for it. I got to get this thing down. That's a two. That probably misses. Well, a total of? 13. 13 misses, yeah. So the first shot hits. Second one, you get a little excited and fire again and just dodges it to the side.

Hey! That finishes your go. Caduceus, you're up. Really? Wow, okay. The NPC's on deck. I don't really know what to do, so I'm just going to cast Spirit Guardians. Because I'm just going to. At the top of your turn, by the way,

just the proximity of being in its space within a certain range, you take seven points of fire damage. Okay, I'm going to, okay, seven points of fire damage. How close am I to it right now? You're about 10 feet from it. Okay, well, that's good, because that means that, all right, where'd it go, where'd my...

Shit, can I, no, I can't do that. I'm sorry, I lost my place, because'm panic monkey. I wonder if it's both. Do those tiles light up? Or is it just the gobo? They do when you can get all the electrical connectors to work and you aren't rushing to get it done before tonight. So a lot of this was supposed to light up from underneath, but I'm having issues with the electronics of it.

So, you know, we're making it work. It looks fucking amazing. Making it work. Yawn. Making it work! Yeah, that's like having it work and then setting up all the tiles and then plugging it in and realizing,

some of these tiles now aren't working for some reason and I only have 20 minutes before we start filming. I'm going to cast Spirit Guardians. Spirit Guardians, all right. Which gives me 15 feet of coverage of little insects and god only knows what can survive this heat. All righty. Nice.

Let's see. And I'm going to back up. I'm going to back up to leave it so it's just, so I'm 50, like, I want it to just be on the edge of my spirit guardian so that I'm out of that 10-foot range. If I get the feeling that that's the, back out of the heat a little bit. Okay.

As you back out of the heat, it does give an attack opportunity on you. Oh, it does, okay. Because you realize now it has a reach of 10. Uh-huh. That is 24 to hit. You know? It hits.

Okay. Ooh, that's not funny. Sorry. 36 points of fire damage to you. Cool. And you are on fire. Caduceus is on fire! This kind, you have begun to just burst into flame and the flames are just swirling up your shoulders

and around you, and both you and Caleb are now burning alive. Are burning alive. Okay, cool, all right, I'm good. Okay. Happy Fun Balls. So is that your concentration check? Yeah, yeah. You got it, all right, that finishes your go.

Top, the NPCs. Luc is going to go ahead and fire his crossbow at the creature. Let's go, Luc! Come on! First blood. Just goes wide and actually burns partway through the air because it is a wooden dowel.

And the heat in the chamber causes it to catch fire. And he hides behind and looks to down and goes, That was so cool. And he goes, what looks to down and goes, That was so cool. And he goes, what are you doing? He's like, helping mom. He's like, shh. And just holds him and pulls him in. Marian, nervously, looks on the side.

You're bad influence. Oh god. Yeah. Marian, you're nice. Caleb, you're up. Jester, you're on that. She releases a field. For my action, I'm going to use the cantrip control flames to put out the flames all over my hand. For my action, I'm going to use the cantrip Control Flames

to put out the flames all over my body. Great, well, at the top of the round, you do take eight points of fire damage from being on fire. Yeah. So I hope, I think, that Control Flames would put me out. Control Flames, yes, I would say that would be the same. And then, so that was my action.

I will use my Storm Rider boots, which are just part of my movement. They'll fire up, and I'm going to fly away from her into the library and plunk down by where I see Marion is. 60 feet, right? Yeah, it's 90 feet, actually. 90 feet, then you can plunk down right over here if you want to.

Oh, shit. I actually won't do that. I'll go in the middle of the library. Like right here? Yeah, yeah. I don't want to go too far away. So, and our tall 50-foot woman would take 2d8 lightning damage as I passed by.

All right, so as you dart by like a human lightning bolt, cannonballing across the chamber behind you, arcing past, you strike the side of its body and torso, and this energy mixes with the fire and causes this weird purple lightning to through its body. How much damage?

10 points lightning damage. 10 points, great. All righty, that finishes your go, Caleb? Yeah. Jester, you're up. Okay, so, nice didn't work. So I'm going to move forward to where I can see her. You can get right next to...

Right next to... A little bit behind Veth, so. Okay. And I'm going to... This is what I got, cast Guiding Bolt. Sure. At 5th-level. At 5th-level, all righty. Go ahead and roll for an attack. Oh my god.

17? 17 just hits. Ooh! Blech. How many is this? 8d6. Ooh! This is so good!

Oh my gosh! 18, 28, 33, 34. Looks like you're just shoving your hand through a cake. Yes. 34 points of radiant damage. And the next attack against it has advantage. Has advantage.

Hey, that's great. As it strikes it, this burst of radiant energy blasts it from the inside, and you watch as its form quivers, like a flame that's briefly, partially blown out by a strong wind. As it does, you see its body seems to almost briefly break apart into three separate parts

and then reform into the one whole . But you see the sparkle is still residing around and giving even a brighter, more contrasting light against the fire light that it gives off. Almost like a pink flame? Just a little bit? Just a little bit, a little pink flame.

You got it. All right, does that finish your turn, Jester? Mm-hmm. All righty. It's got those colored pine cones either on the left or right. It is now the creature's turn, so is it a wisdom save? Spirit Guardians, I don't think it is. It's a wisdom save.

That is an 11. Nope. It ain't much, but that's not bad. That's 10 points of radiant damage. 10 points of radiant damage, all right. It just takes. It's flickering and starting to almost dematerialize in some ways

before holding itself together. Its movement is halved, right? While it's in the radius? While it's in the radius, yeah. It's just going to go ahead and shift a little bit this way. Mm-hmm. Kind of, can only get that far. I'll say about there.

Looking around and noticing everyone in the chamber around, you see it go, begins to curl down. And as it does, its arms clutch inward, the flames begin to darken, and you see in the center of its core, the light gets brighter and brighter, as its spinning core as it releases an inferno in the space around it.

Oh no. Did I kill my kids? Is that the babies and Mama? It's a 50-foot radius, so we'll see. Oh boy, that's everything. That gets both of you. Yep. I mean, yes. Oh god. No!

Oh man. It just misses Marion, and it does give some cover to, no, I'm sorry, it just misses Yeza, and it does give cover, but it would still catch them. Oh no. You them. Oh no. You guys. Oh god. So.

Matt's out here killing kids. Yes, they'll roll to save, right? Uh-huh. That's a lot of dice. Yeah, he's picking up a lot of dice. Hope you can pack some healing spells. I've got no spells! You're out?

That was it! I've got one first level. I don't have anything. You got Revivify. Yeah, but I might be toast. 39 points of fire damage to everybody. I need everybody to make a dexterity saving throw. Is that us two in the hallway? Me and Veth, too?

Or we're in the hallway, did it get us? Yeah, it got you guys, too, because you're right within the radius. 30, 39 points, I think. 18. 39 points. Dex saving? Oh boy. Maybe. If I fail, I might. How many hit points does Luke hit?

Not that many. There's no way. Think about when we started, what our- Say it again, Liam. If you fail what? If I fail this save, I'm going down 18. You start with nothing. 18? Like 10? 10 hit points, so.

19. It's a 19. Caleb's down. Oh, fuck you guys! Wait, you're out? This is bad. Fuck! Oh no. This is real bad. Genuinely, all of us might. 16.

Was it 49 points? 39 points of fire damage. 39, 49. it 49 points? 39 points of fire damage. 39, 49? 16. 16, 39 points of fire damage. You take half. Because of evasion or whatever? Because of evasion, yeah. So that would be 19, I think.

And then Jester? 16, I failed. 39 points of fire damage. Okay. Marion rolls a, I'm rolling a natural 20. This is like a fucking, I wasn't. Marion rolls a natural 20, like I fucking was. Marion rolls a natural 20, and she is naturally half resistant.

She only takes half of that, so Marion's up. They both have advantage because they're behind the, this side there. Luke does roll a 20 total, because he's got a dexterous mom. So a dozen-aught. 19 points. Oh boy. You hear Marion scream.

Oh god. That brings us to Veth. That brings us to Veth. All right. How far away am I from across the room there? You are approximately 90-ish, so 100 feet. I will... Took a gamble. Where to send him? I will run as, oh boy.

But you're walking. Is there a clear shot across the lava? Like if I hopped on some rocks? There's a clear shot if you roll properly. Yeah. I will clear shot across the lava using... Ah, shit. I got to get this thing down. It's going to keep attacking us.

Did you? Did you go down? I got to get there. I have a couple rounds. My apologies. There is one more facet of this ability. Of this ability? When it unleashes the inferno, it tears itself apart as part of the explosion. And is gone forever? Oh, it's small, oh.

Oh! It's worse. My apologies, it's actually worse for you all than originally thought. Matt was taking mercy on us for a second and going, I forgot, I actually just killed him. Where's the trap? We're out of here.

How do I get out of here? You got to stop letting him wear pajama hats. As you rush across the way, you start running and you can see out of the corner of your eye, it dissipates into these three smaller elementals. It's not engaged with anyone right now? At the moment, no.

You threw a punch. Right now. There. Up there. Trying to get some. Fuck. Ay-yi-yi, let me look at this fucking cataclysm bolts again. That doesn't do much. Donald lover and a community gift?

Walking with the pizza and everything's on fire. And become restrained. When you're restrained, you can still attack though, right? Yeah, you just have disadvantage on it. Remember what I was like. Yeza and Luc are both down, right? Or is it just Luc? No one, so Caleb's down.

All you did was hear Marion scream. I'm going to hit you. You're still. I got to get over there, but we got to kill these fucking things. We got to kill them or else they're just going to kill us more. Then I will, ah, shit.

I will, I got to kill these fucking things. Okay. And I need sneak attack. I'll, I'll take the movement back. I'll bonus action hide, I guess, at the edge of the. At the edge of the wall? Yeah.

That's for hiding. Oh wait, I get advantage on hiding. That's 29 to hide. Okay, you may or may not be hidden, though you just darked behind a wall, so you're probably going to have to change up your position a bit to come out of hiding, which looks like you can probably climb

a little bit of this wall to do so. Sure, I'll do that. Okay. So you scramble up the side of this rock wall and peer out from almost the above part and kind of... And I'll load a Cataclysm Bolt. Okay. And fire it at the... They're all within five feet of each other?

Yes, they're just split in the same space. I have a one in three chance, so I'll load a Cataclysm Bolt and shoot it right at the lead guy. Do any of them have it? Is it advantage on any of them? Right now, they all have advantage on them because of your guiding blocks.

Oh, then I don't need to hide at all. Because you instantly get sneak attacks. So I'll just dash out there. Because they're lit up from Jester's magic. So you dash out to there? Yeah, and fire as I go. Come on. Okay. Come on, mama.

Natural 20. Oh! That's a bad mama! Oh! Dang, mother. You black magic. All right, so that doubles the dice for the... The lead. Yep.

So, they're not that great, but... Eight, 12, 19, 23. So 23 doubled is 46, plus six is 52 on the lead. Plus I have to roll to see what kind of cataclysm bolt this is. And I want it to be a three or a four.

Fuck, it's a fucking one. Which is fire damage? Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's a problem with the chaos of their type. Does that mean they're immune completely? Just fire damage? Yeah. Oh, fuck. It's a problem with the chaos of their type. Does that mean they're immune completely? Like, this is just extra damage on top. Right. Oh, okay, okay.

If it had been ice damage, it would have hurt all three of them with, and restrained them all. Yeah, which is unfortunate. However, the one you shot, the sheer fury of what you briefly imagine your head may have transpired. While you were not there to see, necessarily,

the moment of the dodging of it, realization of the blast wave, thinking of the proximity of your family, and then hearing Marion scream, everything just goes quiet for a second. And you have that kind of oof, oof, oof, oof moment. And as you are just phasing out of reality at this moment, your eyes go a bit blurry and the body takes over,

and without even thinking, you just load the bolt, rush out to the side, fire it. You're not even looking at the creature that you shot at as it strikes it, and you hear an echo of it scream on your periphery as the impact causes it to dissipate. So that's your move. And then I'll bonus action continue across.

Don't you get to fire it again because you got a natural 20? You do. Oh, it fires again by itself, actually. That's a 24. Well, you have advantage in the next shot, too, because all three of them are glowing. What does that mean?

So I roll again? Roll again. See if you get a natural 20. Because of your Guiding Bolt and it split, technically, I'd say the magic would probably. Natural 20. Oh! Let's go!

Oh god! This is crazy. All right, all right. Go ahead and roll. But this is not a sneak attack. It's not a sneak attack. The only sneak attack one's correct. Yeah, so it's just one.

Come on, ice. One d6, which is three, so that's doubled to six, plus six is 12 damage. And then I will roll another d6 to see if this Cataclysm Bolt is a... Come on! Nice! Two. It's another fucking fire one. Goddamn it!

Two 20s in a row. Pluses and minuses. Okay. Yeah. Pluses and minuses. So as that one sinks another one, it. Goddamn it. It took a little hit, but it's still standing. And so that's your, you have your bonus action still, you said. Yeah. I could fire again,

but I'm out of Cataclysm Bolts. So I will, is it more important to try to, these guys have more than six more hit points, right? Yeah. I'm going to keep dashing across. Okay, make an acrobatics or athletics check, your call. I will do acrobatics. That's a 17.

17. It gets a little dicey. Partway through, as you leap from this rock to the center part and catch yourself, the last minute, almost tumbling in, and the heat at this point, at this proximity, is singeing you. You're wincing instinctually

as you can feel your skin beginning to cook. And you take that final little bit and then leap off to catch the edge. you're wincing instinctually as you can feel your skin beginning to cook. You take that final little bit and then leap off to catch the edge. As you hit it, your foot almost slips, but you manage to stop yourself and land on the other side. No additional issue. But that's the end of your movement there,

getting that leap across. That finishes your go. Veth, Caduceus, you're up. So, would I have to make a roll if I just gently wanted to get to the other side of back towards the door? Around the door that way? The way that I came out when I got shoved,

I just want to make my way back to the hallway? You would have to make another roll, yeah. Okay. Because it's still a rapid kind of moving across a really tiny bridge of land. Okay, I'm just going to. You do take three points of fire damage because you're still on fire. So what I'm going to do,

this is my plan. Who can I see? I can see... From my vantage point, I know where everybody is, basically. Everyone but Jester. But you saw the bolt streak out from the hallway and you're familiar with her guiding bolts, so you assume she's right over there. Hmm.

So... So with Liam down, is Liam within 30 feet? Who's Liam? I know, my brain is Caleb. Is Caleb... Who's Caleb? His name is Wren. Yeah. Is Ben within?

You're welcome. There we are. Caleb, you saw a drop across the room, quite a distance from you. Okay, but is he within 30 feet of everybody where I think everybody else is? It's possible. Okay, I want to try and get a 30-foot circle.

They're within 60 feet of me, easily. Easily? Veth is within about 50 or so feet. Caleb's maybe around 65 feet. Caleb's about 65? Oh, it wouldn't matter, because I need to drop a, I'm going to try and drop a sphere. Yeah, he's at 65 feet. I'm going to try and drop a sphere. Yeah, he's at 65 feet.

I'm going to try and drop a sphere that gets, the sphere's center can be 60 feet away from me. Then yeah. So I'm going to try and get everybody that I know that is in that corner of the room. Definitely want to get Caleb, but I want to try and make sure that that sphere drops to where I think everybody's hiding.

Okay, you got it. What are you dropping? Mask Cure Wounds. Okay. Fifth, you got it. What are you dropping? Mass Cure Wounds. Okay. At 5th-level. All right. So who's out? You get 29 hit points. Whoa. You can hit how many?

I can hit up to six people within that 30-foot sphere, even if I can't see them. Oh, look, Inyeza. If they're dead, they get 29 hit points, or if they're unconscious, they get 29 hit points. Correct. If they're not unconscious, anyone who's not unconscious, on the other hand, gets... 14 hit points. Okay, so Marion heals 14 hit points.

You got it. All right. And Caleb, you got that much? You are conscious now on the ground. So I got healed, too? You're not, unless, if you're in that. Yeah, he would be. Yeah. So you got... 14 hit points? 14 hit points. Wow, that was awesome. I'm still on fire, but that's fine. That's a in that. Yeah, he would be. Yeah. So you got 14 hit points. 14 hit points.

Wow, that was awesome. I'm still on fire, but that's fine. That's a huge turn. Yeah. Yes, it is. I'm just going to try and stay in the corner and see. Both of them are outside of the radius of your spirit guardians, just so you're aware. Make a concentration check for me, by the way,

because you did take the fire damage. I did take the fire damage, that's true. Although I can't imagine it would go that poorly. No, I'm fine. Okay. Yeah, they're both currently outside of the range of your spirit guardians in that corner. You know, just for,

is there any safe way to get them just in the cusp of it? Yeah, if you want to jump in that little rock in the middle of the lava. Hell no. You can safely maybe get one of them within the radius, just barely. If you want to get them both, you're probably going to have to engage with one of them. You know, I'm feeling a little iffy,

so if they try and get at me, they're going to, they probably have range, don't they, these little fucks? Who knows? I'm going to just step so that one, and I'm going to hug the wall. All right, that'll get you about. Oh, I'm staying on the wall. No, no, no, yeah.

Like, I'm going to hug the wall to my, I don'll get you about. Oh, I'm staying on the wall. No, no, no. On the wall? Yeah, I'm going to hug the wall to my, I don't have my laser. Yes, I do. Yeah, just hug the wall. You can get there and get it within the range. That's just barely getting it. That'll do it. I just want some distance.

I want to encourage it to leave. Understood. Let's just say it's a 15-foot distance. Yeah. You can keep distance, but you have to get close enough still. Yeah, because if I go down, everything's worked. Fair enough. All right, that finishes your go. Top of the round.

Killer. Marion just shouts out, Chester! Somebody! Oh boy. Yeza pokes from behind here, looks, and just runs. Uh-oh.

Caleb, your go. Okay, so I'll use half my movement to pull myself to standing. I obviously heard Marion scream. I heard little feet running. I don't hear or see Luc anywhere, probably. I don't have much running. I don't hear or see Luke anywhere, probably. I don't have much left.

I will smear molasses along my hands and try to cast Slow on the two creatures. Wisdom save against 18 spell save. One of them got a natural 20. I don't know why I'm rolling so many 20s today. That's insane. The other one got a 16, which I think fails. Yeah.

So that one is smooth. That one there, we'll say. Put it on his head. Little crown. And I will use my movement to... He's got 15 more feet. Oh shit. I'm going to move away.

I'm going to move, where am I? Right there. Yeah, I'm going to move back towards that bookshelf. Not right to where Marian and Yeza are, but that other bookshelf. There? Yeah, we'll stay right there. If that's as far as I can get. That's as far as you can get.

Yeah, that's it, my turn. Okay, got it. Jester, you're up. I'm going to come up to, through the doorway for the first time, fully take in the room and just shout, It's okay, Mama! It's going to be okay!

And I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt at the one that's within Caduceus' spirit guardians. Okay, go for it. Wolf of the Attack. Did they take any spirit guardian damage this last turn? Top of the rank, one of them takes Spirit Guardian damage, which is not much.

I don't think it hits, 14? 14 just hits. Oh my gosh! They're smaller forms. The ACs are diminished. That's twice you barely hit them. That's really bad. That's not as good.

10 points of radiant damage. 10 points of radiant damage, and next attack on this one has advantage. That's fine right there. I may be fucked. We'll do that, that'll go. Okay, not pleased with this. You still have 10 more feet of movement,

or you want to stay where you put the arch there? I think I'm want to stay where you put the arch there? I think I'm going to stay right there. I don't know what else I can do, really. Actually, I'm going to walk up to the edge of that lip right next to the lava, yeah, right about there. Okay. And just growl at the creatures to try to get them to come over to me. You got it, all right.

Oh, oh, sure, bonus action. I'm going to pull my stupid handaxe off my side and be like, like first time I'm going to fucking use it in forever. So you're just holding your handaxe? I'm just holding my handaxe, ready to attack fire. Hell yeah, you got it. How good is your hand, like, how, what's your?

It's just a handaxe plus one. A handaxe plus one, okay. That is magical, that'll help. All right, finishing your turn, it's now their turn. The one that's in your sphere, that is an eight, so it does not save. Nine points. Kill it. Nine points of radiant damage. It gets struck, and you can see it's starting to flicker in its own right, but it's held up. The other one is slowed. This one is going to go ahead and close

in on you, Caduceus. Half speed. Yep. It doesn't need to worry about that. It has a pretty decent speed, even when halved. So it does close in on you. The other one that slowed is half speed, and it's going to go ahead and move in towards Veth. Because it is slowed, it does not get its multi-attack. It only gets one attack.

So the one that's against you, Caduceus, that is a 21 to hit. Fuck. Is that a hit? Yep. Okay. You take seven points of fire damage, and 17, does that hit? Ah, that's great.

No, it does not, which also means that activates my Shield of Retribution. All righty. So, that's, come on. 10 points of force damage. Okay. And it has to make a strength saving throw. Which would be an 11.

So it gets pushed 20 feet away from me. Which also means it now takes more damage from leaving. Does it take damage from leaving as well? No, I think it wins when it enters or when it starts its turn. Okay. But it just gets shoved back, the flash of arcane energy, blasting it backward. It hits the wall and curls back into its form.

And the one that's going up against you, Veth? The flash of arcane energy, blasting it backward. It hits the wall and curls back into its form. And the one that's going up against you, Veth? Natural one. Miss. The slow spell causes it to just go towards you and you just easily sidestep, but you're still not even focused on it. You're almost absentmindedly like Neo when he's parrying at the end of the Matrix.

You're just not even focused on it at the moment. Okay, that finishes their go. Veth, you're up. Oh, this guy's on me now? Yeah. Does not get any reactions because it is slowed. Oh, great. Well, then I'll keep going.

I'll go to see if my son is still there. You come around the corner and you can see Marion is holding Luc, who is currently lying still in her arms, skin badly burned. So Caduceus' heal did not affect? Apparently it did not. Really?

Yeah. Why? Because his damage was so great that it knocked him immediately. So he doesn't do anything. If you take damage beyond a certain threshold in a single hit. Yep, that's right. So we're going to need to fix this when this is done. So he's un-revivable.

Well, he's revivifiable. I can do it when it's quiet. Is currently not moving, not breathing. Oh my god. So that's your movement. That's not good. I will just Rage Scream and I will fire at the one that's glowing with radiant damage, I guess.

Okay. Oh my god. Fifth advantage, right? So 29. That definitely hits, and you get sneak attack damage. This game sucks. That's why I'm going to coin over to Marion. Yeah. Booey.

37 points of damage? 37 points. That one flickers out. Okay. And I will continue to rage scream and shoot my bonus shot at that one closer to me. Go for it. That's a 23 to hit.

That definitely hits. Just one of these. Eight points of damage. All right. It takes the hit. The first hit, this one's really taken and just still flickering and angrily, its fire is swirling in its space and it's still hungry.

And I'll just, whatever movement I have left, I'll crouch down and grab my son. Okay. Or touch him. Caduceus. I'm going to walk towards the one that's still standing. Get it just within the range of my bullshit. And I'm, again, still trying to say,

save from any floor lava. Just about there. And I don't have a lot, so I'm just going to do, I want to keep some shit, because this is getting bad. So I'm going to do Sacred Flame. Okay, wisdom save or dex save? That's a dex save. That's right. That is a 12.

That does not save. So that's... 12, 15, 16, 17 points of radiant damage. All righty. Takes the hit. It's looking a little hurt. And as a bonus action, I'm going to drink a potion, because ow.

Oh, and you did take two points of fire damage at the top of the round, because you're still on fire, and make a concentration check for me. Woo! two points of fire damage at the top of the round because you're still on fire and make a concentration check for me. Good. Okay. Thank god for advantage, that would have been bad. I'm going to take a potion with my bonus action, if that's okay. Go for it.

It's not a lot, but I'll take it. I'll take that nine points. All right. Caleb. I have nothing that can affect this thing. I'm completely tapped. So I am going to move. The staff can't do anything? It's empty. Ugh. Where is Veth right now?

Veth is 10 feet to your right currently. Okay, I'm going to move and stand in front of Veth. I'm going to use a bonus action to take this potion myself because Luc can't be helped by a potion. Okay. And I'm going to take the dodge. As an action? As an action, yeah.

And I can help if we survive this. Five, nine, 10, 13, 17. Okay, that's the end of my turn. Okay. Jester. I am going to try to engage it in melee, so that if it attacks anything, it attacks me. So I'm going to run over and try to jump over the river

and come down with my axe on top of it. Acrobatics or athletics check. Your choice to try and leap across the lava. Don't fall into it. Oh my god. Nine? Oh, Jester. Oh god. Nine? Oh, Jester. Oh god. Oh no. Oh god.

Run, leap, get to that center rock, and you just slightly overshot. You try and correct yourself and jump, and you land short. Your legs into the very edge of it. You scream out instinctively in pain. Oh no. Oh god, I'm getting like...

Oh boy. I don't know if I'm hot or cold. Me too. I'm in a cold sweat. Okay. Lava does a whole lot. Yes. Like over 100, you think? Like 10d10 or something like that.

It's, yeah. You got to get out of it. Real fast. Falling in. That was a jump, so that's not my, that was my movement. Was that my full movement? That's not my full movement. Are you down at all? I'm down some, but I've still got

a good amount of hit points. So it depends on how much lava it does. Here we go. Got to be one of us, one of us campaign. Got to fall in lava, right? Mm-hmm. How many is it? 20d10, I'm fine.

It's picking up so many dice. How many diamonds am I going to have to burn? I can do one. You're not submerged in it. Right, right, right. I'm on the edge of it. So it's not the worst it could be unless you stay in it.

What are you rolling? 5d10. 5d10. Oh, okay. 5d10. Because you just fell into it. Okay. It's not a great face. 41 points of fire damage.

That's pretty fucking bad. That's a good roll. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I rolled really well on that. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you really, really did. Almost maxed out. Can I, do I have any movement left? Can I get out of the lava? Crazy. With that.

That was just a jump. That was a jump. I'd say because you just fell in, you managed to get yourself one step out, but that's as far as you can get right there. And you are on fire, because you fell in the lava. Right, right, cool, tight. Do I have fucking anything?

Cool, then I can't get close enough to do any melee, so I'm just going to use a... If you wanted to tumble out this direction, because you were going for the melee, I could let you stumble out into melee with it, because it's either adjacent or to the side. Since that was your intent, I'll let you do that. Okay.

Cool. I'll do more damage with my cantrip, so I'm going to stay next to it, Yeah. Okay. Cool. I'll do more damage with my cantrip, so I'm going to stay next to it, but I'm going to do Sacred Flame up on it. Okay. That is going to be a 14. Okay, okay, okay. 38.

17 points. 17 points. 17 points. Of radiant damage. Nice. It's looking real tough. As you strike it, the flames will burn around it. The radiance mingling with the actual elemental fire inside and you could see it having to reform itself and fall and then reform.

And it's having a difficult time keeping itself corporeal. And I'm just looking at her real angry and saying, Fight me! Okay. Finishing your go, it's its turn. Top of the round, it has to make a wisdom save against your spirit. That is going to be a seven.

That does not save. That's a wrong die. That would have really sucked. 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15. Good luck. How do you want to do this? Yes! I'm having a really bad time. I breathe deep,

and I just start stepping towards it, and the circle just starts, the insects just start plowing into it like in the mummy, and it's just beetles trying to devour it. They're burning up as they go, but they just keep going. The circle is just dissipating into it. As you watch the cloud of beetles and insects swarm it, you see them burning and popping, these flashes of light,

but the more that pour into it, the darker the flame gets, the more it begins to suffocate the source of its own life fire. As it begins to slightly sigh out this horrible, wheezing death cry, you watch as all the light grows dark, the cloud fully encompassing and smothering it before they eventually dissipate,

leaving nothing but a pile of ash and a couple of stones where it once stood. As you all sit in this moment, this moment of quiet, intense realization, we're going to take a break. Oh. Realization. We're going to take a break. Back here in a few minutes to pick up at the end of this battle. Oh boy.

See you guys here in a few minutes. Oh, hey there. Laura Bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics, like character-inspired t-shirts, dice sets and pins, as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets, puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork, the comfiest joggers and pajamas ever, and much, much more. There's also a few special items that support charity efforts,

like our dedicated Critical Role Foundation merch. You can check out all of our regional online stores by visiting the shop tab on critrole.com or head straight to the U.S. store at shop.critrole.com. Every purchase helps support our shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story. And welcome back. So as we left off, the group that currently resides in this odd sanctum, in this realm of flame and ash and blackened cloud, accidentally called a guardian of the sanctum and some collateral damage has come to light. So in that tense moment, what do you do?

Jester, Caduceus, somebody, I need help! I run over. Bow! I try running over and I fall down because my feet are burned to crispies. Someone! I see what's happening. I'm going to immediately stabilize. Okay.

And then I'm going to pull out a diamond. Stabilize in what way? Oh, the hold the, stop the... The timer? Yeah, stop the timer. Gentle Repose, whatever it is. What's it called? Gentle Repose. Gentle Repose. Pull out the diamond.

Can you do this? I start the spell and just the insects pour out and just start to cover. And the molds and the fungus just start to cover and I'm just going to sit. How do you call the Wild Mother to aid you in this? Wild Mother, it is not yet time for this one. His destiny has not been fulfilled.

His time here is not over. I beg you, let him have another breath. Oh. As you finish your final moment of prayer in that sentence, the breath that's still in your lungs exhales. As it leaves your mouth, you hope that breath finds its way into this child. The buzz of the insects fades. The moss and fungus begins to gray and crumble.

And you just feel. Feel for anything. And you feel his chest rise and fall. And as the moss and fungus that began to encase his burned skin, causing Yeza instinctually to begin to grow nervous, but then stop as he trusts in the process,

as it grays and crumbles away, you can see the skin restored. His eyes open. Mom? I just hold him and kiss his eyes and kiss his nose. I click Cure Wounds and back up. You're okay? Are you in pain?

Yeah, I heard a loud whooshing sound. I'm not strong like you, Mom. What are you talking about? Of course you're strong. Can you move your little fingers? Can you stand up? Are you okay? Just move your legs, move your little fingers? Can you stand up? Are you okay? Just move your legs, move your feet. I would keep it very gentle for a while. Of course. You see him, he's moving his fingers and legs.

There is a stiffness to them. And you see, it's... The magic of life restoration takes a little bit to get there. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Luc. I'm so sorry. I'm just going to keep holding him. And he holds you and just goes,

It's okay, Mom. It's okay. You did save me. Marion pulls you close and, can I help you? Oh, I'm fine, mama. She gets down and starts going towards your boots and goes through the satchel

that she had thrown together and begins taking out some ointments and begins to tend to your feet. Thank you. It's really, seriously, it's okay. I'll get it fixed. I reach up and grab Caduceus' hand. Hey.

I'm sitting down. You. You did so good. I think a nap would be nice. You feel a hand grasp your other hand. You look over to the opposite side of Jester, and looking directly into your eyes, tears now drying against his cheeks

in the heated interior of this chamber, Yeza goes, Thank you. I don't think I can ever express my gratitude. Well, it's all in a day's work. So worth everything and more. Oh, I'm tired. Squeezes your hand and nods.

You've got, you've, that's all I got. Wipes the snot from his nose and goes and joins you, just putting his arms around both you and Luc, and just all three of you sit there and hold each other. Are you hurt, too? I'm okay. That was unexpected.

Yeah. And horrible. Wow, I don't know what to say other than I'm so happy that you're okay, both of you. Me too. And he puts his fingers through Luc's hair. Whoever these people are that are putting us through this.

And it looks over at the rest of you. This is the Assembly again, isn't it? Yeah. They've been a shadow over this family for too long. He reaches down and takes the necklace he's holding. Takes Luc's head and holds it there. You you can see Luc, the brave face is fading a bit and he's just leaning into the proximity and the comfort as he processes what he's been through.

As he clutches the necklace and looks at you, he says, These, once we're out of whatever this hell's escape is, these will keep us safe from them, right? Yes. Once we get out of here, they can't see us anymore or follow us. You make them pay for this. They'll pay. Good.

I love you. I love you, too. And, Luke, as much ice cream as you want, as soon as we're free and clear. Yeah. Like, all of it, until you throw up, and then we'll just get you more.

You can see Luke, his eyes were closed, head against your sternum, and immediately, really? Yeah, yeah, any flavor. He looks to Yeza, waiting for the father to wait, and he goes, Yeah, sure. You got to hold yourself back from enjoying the moments. Mm-hmm.

Right? And Luc nods. Right. Did you get him? Oh yeah, we did. Yeah, whatever that thing was, it's gone. I knew you would. And he starts crying.

Me too. I think during all of those low conversations I think during all of those low conversations in this quiet cavern, Caleb would be feeling pretty fucking shameful, particularly after hearing most of that and has already wandered to the entrance to this chamber and sends Frumpkin off about 90 feet down just to listen for me.

And he just goes about putting the dome up in the mouth of the tunnel to make the cork that he started earlier. Okay. It seems like you're in a somewhat safe space now that whatever was the guardian of this sanctum is no longer a threat. You can take the time to rest and go about any other business or conversation you'd like

while you await your time-stretched allies to return from their venture. Who's hurt bad? I'm hurt pretty bad. You're not on fire anymore, right? I put my feet out, but a couple of my toes are gone. Beth, how are you doing? You already healed me pretty well.

Okay, I'm going to, one, two, three, four, five, six. Okay, so I'm just going to sit and just start casting Prayer of Healing after Prayer of Healing for the next, I'm just going to meditate and slowly everybody's going to get a little better. Okay. 20 for the first round.

Everyone gets 20 heals, 20 points, including all the NPCs. Except that. What's an NPC? What was the total on that? Normal people communicating. 20. And then the next round is 13.

After Caleb finishes the dome. I'll keep doing this for a bit. I'm going to go over to Caleb. You should rest. Oh, yeah. Before that, would you help me with something? And he pulls out the collar that he's been working on privately. I have been tinkering with this for quite some time

and I'm having trouble with it. I have been tinkering with this for quite some time and I'm having trouble with it. It might need more than one set of hands. Every time I try to insert this, I mess it up. If I hold the collar itself, would you try to get it into the casing is here and there is a ridge along the edge, but you have to be very careful with that

because it could shatter and I only have one and I need this so that... Anyway. So that what? What is that? This looks like a collar you put around someone's neck. It is. So who do you plan on putting this collar on? My old teacher.

Well, that would be really cool. I can't know if it's really his style, but... It will be soon. I can't let what happened in here be for nothing. It's time for him to be silenced. Yeah. So I will hold it. And if you could try to...

Careful. I guess I'll try to put it in. Okay. So how will- Can I cast Guidance on myself as I'm trying to do it in. Okay. So, I will. Can I cast Guidance on myself as I'm trying to do this? You can. And then go ahead and attempt a dexterity check. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Set it down, set it down.

Okay. I pull out one of the pearls that I purchased in Raxentrum and I place it against your forehead and my free hand begins to trace geometric patterns around it and you see those in your mind. Okay, now we try. Okay.

Which one? That's pretty good. The first one was better. Okay. I'm looking for my force. The first one was better. Okay. I'm looking for my force. Dexterity? Mm-hmm. 23. Now, you've worked quite a bit on this device and it's confounded you in certain places,

but you've eventually managed to maneuver past some of these challenges. And I can use my jeweler's... I don't have jeweler's tools. As you were. Cool. If you had them, you could've. I could've. But the placement is so sensitive in this

without breaking it, and there's times you've gotten close, but you've not trusted yourself and you've pulled away. And it's been this constant struggle of like, you got one shot at this. And as you carefully look inside, your painterly touch, the artistic dexterity that you've relied on for most of your life, comes in extremely handy as you expertly

place this red gem into the gap. And as it slides into place, you maneuver it to connect all the various converging lines of arcane channeling. And as it does, the red gem, boom, begins to glow red. As it does, you watch as these tiny little bits of dull filigree along the outer rim of this claw

begin to glow that same red color, and it hums faintly with arcane energy. Is it supposed to do that? Is that good? Yeah. Go team. Thank you. Of course, yeah.

I'm going to need more time with it, but. Now we just have to convince him to put it on. It's like the tenth time that I've tried to do that. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Don't blame yourself for any of this. I know it's kind of what you're prone to do, Caleb, but

this is on all of us. We're a family now. This is what we do. And we're going to make it better. Reaches his hand out and just squeezes the back of her hand on the ground. Yeah, I'll keep trying to remind myself of that. Get some sleep.

Your dome only stays up for a few hours. Take advantage of it. Okay. At this point, you hear the footsteps approach of Marion Lavorre, who's been on the periphery, listening to part of this, and goes, I've been around a bit longer than most of you, really.

And I've met many people, some good, some very bad. If there's one thing I've come to know, the good people are easy to be misled, to think they're at fault for the things that bad people use to victimize them. It's how they stay in power.

If they convince us that we are responsible for every terrible thing that comes upon us, they're absolved. Blame's a tricky thing. And sure, we all have our own guilts that we keep. Gods know I have mine. But, I've been told enough times in my life

But I've been told enough times in my life that I'm responsible for the bad things that befall me. that I'm responsible for the bad things that befall me. It has taken me this long to know that that's not true. Caleb bites his tongue and doesn't try to explain or reason away or sidestep and just listen.

Wishes something for him. We're here now together because you all kept us safe. And if you hadn't done this, who knows how much worse it could have been. So, don't forget to focus on the good things you do. She puts her hands on your shoulders, Jester, and gives a little squeeze and goes against you.

This is a much more comfortable space to be sitting. Do you mind if we all move into this dome? Yes, please, it's so dark. Of course. It is hot. She gives a notification, and eventually all of you meander over to the dome. Because for each hour spent in this space, there are progressive constitution rolls to be had,

but within the dome, you don't have to worry about it. 37 more hit points to everyone involved. This is the only penalty you spend in this place, which is the... You can roll an arcana check if you'd like to. Anybody can roll an arcana check to see'd like to. Anybody can roll an arcana check to see if they can figure out where you are. I'll take that bet.

Gotcha boo. 30. Oh! Not as good as my seven, but I guess it'll do. That'll do. Between the two of you, based on the topography that was explained beyond this space, the creatures,

and if you want to thumb through more of the book, there's more information in there, but you gather this is probably the elemental plane of fire. He will spend 20 minutes finally returning to that. Okay, roll an investigation check. He'll comprehend languages. 10 minutes later. Guidance, and it was what kind of check?

Investigation. Oh, okay, well, good thing investigation is high. 20. 20, okay. You follow along the same lines that Jester had uncovered before. You're spending more time with it. You do finally find a signature of the writer,

and it says, Plain Rider Rin. Rin? Plain Rider, that's so cool. I know, what a cool. Sounds familiar, though. And a symbol not unlike the emblem that was encased in glass alongside the scroll that sent you here.

Like an oblong pointed oval with an eye in the center of it. Rin. Rin? Rin, R-Y-N. like an oblong pointed oval with an I in the center of it. Ryn. Ryn? Ryn, R-Y-N. R-Y-N. I got the Y correct. I spelled it W-R-E-N.

Super wrong. Well, I spelled it R-I-N, so I think that was way off. Plane Rider Ryan. Sounds like an off-brand silver surfer. Yeah. In your reading, it's interesting, though, books scattered, a lot of it's just pontification

and has a sense of wonder, a sense of curiosity. This person, it reads very much like a science nerd really into their trade. And you can't help but get excited along with them to a certain degree. He was theorizing about possible disaster, right? Wasn't that what he went on about? Possible change that could spell disaster or balance?

Who knows? Okay. Not unlike the, for instance, an example theory of the magnetic poles suddenly flipping. Uh-huh. There's some sort of something strange. And you do pick up some of the odd reading

that alludes as they note, I continue to find an aberration in my data pertaining to Exandria. A cyclical, months-long, slow surge and low-level magical interference that then recedes just slowly. Something that tangles my readings and upsets my analysis. It is too faint to identify the arcane nature or source,

but I worry if this pertains to the shifting between the veils. It could be something very interesting, something very frightening, very wonderful. More tests are required. But these are just musings of an individual. So. You have time to rest within this sanctum.

I'm going to make sure the Happy Fun Ball is in a nice, safe place, so that if they come out of it, they're not going to bamf into lava. Good call. Good call. All right. Hey, we're here for fun! I know. I would summon Frumpkin and send Frumpkin to Luc

to purr like crazy and just cuddle up. And then if we are sleeping, if we're resting, then I would turn, curve away from the group with my back towards the side of the dome to go to sleep, but I would actually tinker with and examine the collar for probably an hour, examining it and trying to get my brain wrapped around it further, and then pass out.

Okay. You all taking a long rest? I'm going to snuggle with my mama. Okay. She happily accepts. And Luc thoroughly enjoys the cat play. Cute. Give me the sleep. As everyone's going to bed and going to sleep, Yeza curling up next to you,

just Luc is sleeping between the two of you once it's quiet, just says, Are you all right? Me? I'm fine. No, I'm not. I mean, this is the worst thing that could have ever happened, and I did it.

It's, and I did it. You know, I... These people are wonderful. I feel like they're my family too, you know? But it also feels like if I try to keep one family safe, I'm endangering the other. I don't know what to do about that. We only talked in vague platitudes because I trust, but...

What is it that all of you are doing next? what is it that all of you are doing next? Like, what's the big thing that you can do and then stop? You keep talking about stopping and coming home. What's the line? There's a force that's coming. Coming from some other place to... We don't know what it's going to do. It could affect the world.

We've been trying to stop it, but... I mean, we've made a lot of enemies as we've gone. And some allies too, but there's just no balance. There's no way to protect the Empire, but also make sure that the Dynasty is okay. And there's no way to guard against this oncoming force while still making sure that the people that we love are safe.

Like, there's no way to do it all. We can't, we can't do everything. You can't, nobody can. And don't put all that responsibility on your shoulders. I know. We didn't mean to. We started this whole thing just trying to find our place in the world, you know? Where we fit into it all.

All of us were just trying to find a way home. And now we've been dragged into this this story that's not ours, but it is. But it is, though. been dragged into this... this story that's not ours, but it is. But it is, though. Terrible things have happened to many people, us included. But you still found your way back to us. You went across battlefields and saved me from God knows what sort of interrogations awaited me,

and worse, if you hadn't spoken in my favor, we found a new home. I mean, look at you. I can't express how proud of you I am. I just killed our son. You did not. That thing did. And you stopped it from killing anybody else.

And your friends saved his life. There are many circumstances that you just said that are beyond your control and you feel like it's other people's story. life. There are many circumstances that you just said that are beyond your control and you feel like it's other people's story, yet you take the blame for all the bad things that happen throughout it. That's unfair to you. That's unfair to everybody. Are you trying to do what you think is best?

Of course. Then what else is there to do what you think is best? Of course. Then what else is there to do? This forest you're talking about, is it a danger to me, to Luc, to us? Yes. Do you think you and your friends can stop it? No. Do you think anybody else can? No. Do you think anybody else can?

No. I think someone has to try. Do you think they can do it without you? I can't save... I can't be in both places at the same time. I know. But if stopping this is protecting us, and you might all be the only chance all of us have, then there is no other choice.

You just have to make sure you come back when it's over. Maybe then that'll be it. Maybe. Or maybe I won't come home. Part of me just thinks that maybe I should keep you safe, as safe as I can. And even if it means

they have a harder time of it. It's worth it. We don't have to discuss this now. We don't have to decide. Maybe it'll go away. All I know is we made it through this day. And as long as we've been, as long as I've been with these people, that's been our number one goal, is just make it through the day.

And we did, one more time. So we'll wake up again tomorrow and see what new shit happens, deal with it, and try to go to sleep again tomorrow night. I'm so sorry to drag you into this. I'm so happy that you're alive.

Neth, I'm sorry I dragged you into this. You can't carry the weight of being the protagonist, but then make the admission that so much of the story is beyond your control. You didn't get involved in a war because you believed in one side or the other. You got involved because I got involved.

Because I worked with the Assembly. So if anyone's going to carry that weight, let us share it. Okay? Okay. Whatever you want to do. We'll decide together. We decide together. Okay. Okay.

Love you. I love you. He curls up until eventually, him, Luke's been asleep, a little restless, but eventually finds his self to rest. You all find night's sleep? A little restless, because I am pretty worried about the three that have not returned.

Mm-hmm. Why don't you ask the ball? Let's see if they can hear you. Just going to, well, I can't. It's got to be somewhere safe. The ball's got to be somewhere safe. It's been roughly, we'll say through the full night's rest,

six to eight hours rest, it's been about nine hours, and they haven't returned. So we wake up and they're still not here. You wake up and they still haven't returned. Caleb would just throw up another dome as soon as the first one was done. This is our home base. We're just waiting here?

Yes, we're just waiting here. We have to. We're not going out there. There's probably more. Not going out there, but can't you teleport us back? We can just take the bowl. Oh, we can go home. Yes, take the bowl, go home. It's really nice where you guys are. Where are we going to go?

We're going to go to Zadash. I always wanted to go to the Plain of Fire. Why? Because we're in this dome forever. That's where my eyebrows are going. That's where my dad is. That's what? That's where my dad is. My skin. That's where we've got the leaf. The dash, the dash. The dash.

Do you want to steal any books before we go? I honestly would say take them. I'm good. I'm full up. Thank you. How's your foot? Oh, I still got only eight toes. How bad is it? Do tieflings have that normally?

It's fairly healed. The magic helped tremendously, but there will be some lasting damage. Not enough to impact or balance too badly. It's fine. They're little nubbins. We'll take care of that a little later. Yeah, if we are all alive in a few weeks and have some time to breathe,

you and I will go and get some clay and we'll fix your toes right up. We might make some little magic toes. Yes, magic toes. I like it. I can do that if we get a good night's sleep. Like, if nothing happens tomorrow, I can also just make that happen.

Wait, no. No play necessary. She can paint herself toes. I can't paint living things. So they'd be dead toes on me. That would be kind of cool. That could be neat. I don't know. I could make porcelain toes. I could make things

like fun shapes. You could have one really long toe. It looks like a dick. I don't know if I want a dick on my foot. You could be a Bond villain. So what's the plan? Puck a toe. We're going to go to Zadash.

Okay. I'm going to grab the happy fun ball and hold on to it. Gee whiz, what if they pop out while we're teleporting? What do you think will happen? Wow. The odds are pretty slim. Be an interesting twist. Okay.

Have you seen the fly? Oh. Yes. All right. I guess. Well, that's a weird time travel thing. How would that work? Only one way to find out. Like, I could try sending them a message. Technically, it works across planes.

Yeah. But we've already been with them and they didn't get a message. How does that work? Except you'd send the message, you'd be like, . Yeah! All you would hear. What?

It might be like when your cell phone comes back into service and it's just. Yeah, that's weird. I would try. I don't have the knowledge that we already saw them. I would try to message. I'm going to try to message Fjord. Okay, go for it.

Fjord? Are you guys okay? Are you, did you make it through that first room and the second room? Are you in the dragon room? What's taking so long? We're here, we almost. As you are standing there with Yasha and Beauregard,

with the golem looming behind you, about to break out of its stun, and your hands, you're all agreeing to go ahead and place your hand down onto the glowing crystal. You hear this at super speed in your head. Hey, buddy! Are you okay? Do you need a tissue? We got to go! Spear!

You hear, We are the Skies! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Passionate of the scat. All these poor people have no idea what's going on. Oh, yeah. Such a deep inside joke. Too deep. So you do hear that back and forth. That was a deep inside joke out there. What happened? You heard that. That's what I heard.

They are being tortured. Oh no! They're dying, all two! Oh no! I don dying all too! Oh no! I don't know what to do. Should we go in after them? I don't know. Caleb? Well, I think we should get out of here.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Let's get out of here first. I'm so afraid because I know where they actually are. What if they've had to go out on a teleporting? I'm so scared. We'll be quicker and leaner without them. A brand new fighting force. Oh no! Like throwing a Slurpee out a car window.

Just like this. Oh my god. Holy shit. We got a fight! Oh my god. Holy shit. We get fucked! What? Oh my god. We're turning into eight billion tiny beads of liquid. How did you get to that imagery so fast?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Oh my god. It's definitely something she's done. On the drive to the Lord. Oh man. Wow. So what's going on? Roar! Are we going? Are we staying?

You have to get out of here. You have to get out of here. Yeah, we should go. It'll only take a moment. Go, go, go. Is the scroll that we had was a one-time thing? Yes. Get here. You're plane-shifting us. I am?

Yeah, you are. You can't just teleport us? Teleport does not go across the planes. Do you know how? That's what dimension, that is what plane-shift is for. I mean, yeah, I got to prepare it. It's still morning. I would have known that. We are a little droggy. This would have been probably a conversation

before you left, I'll allow it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I will. You did have a rod attuned to Exandria. Yes. Yes. You just need to choose a location of preference. Does it burn the rod or does it not burn the rod? It does not burn the rod.

Ah, I'm at a... So I choose my dad's room. Oh. Okay. Like his bedroom? Yeah, why not? I love that you and I were just both waiting for the other one to do it. We're like, you're going to go?

Yeah, you can go. You're going to go? You're going to go? I thought this was like, why are we taking so long? Weirdest game of magic chicken I've ever seen. Okay. My bad. Let me just double check.

Okay, it has to be, it can't be quite that specific. Oh, okay. Yeah, you can say Zadash, or if you said the Evening Nip, maybe? The Evening Nip, maybe. Okay, there you go. So as you gather up your troop and begin your incantation,

clutching the rod that is attuned to Exandria. Let me just, let's, can we just double check? That you have the rod? No, no, no, no, we have that. Okay. That's fine. But... You and eight willing creatures. Right, so realistically, yeah, need to go.

Oh yeah, no, we're good. No, no, yeah, we're fine. We're good. As long as nobody comes out of the ball. Yeah, that's right. We've got to go now. We've got to go now. But like, this is, I really have to do it all over again. This is on- And you broke the door.

Let's go, let's go, let's go! We're good! Go, go, go! Okay, let's go. Okay, so? You doing it? Yeah. All right. Buddy roll. Because we took too long. We're going to get left there.

Holy shit. As you focus on your friends, concentrate on the rod, concentrate on Exandria, concentrate on the evening nip, think of your father, think of Zadash, the streets. There is this sudden gathering of green cloth that encircles you like a curtain. As it spins around and then unfurls, you hear,

Ta-da! And you are standing in an alleyway on the streets of Zadash in the middle of a rainy morning. Kind of glancing about. You take a moment and then you understand you're a few blocks away from the evening nip. Not too, a flash of light, a heavy metal sound, and then

Yachta, Beauregard, and Fjord all arrive. Well, that could have gone poorly. Oh my god, you guys. Shut the ball, shut the ball, and Fjord all arrive. Well, that could have gone poorly. Oh my god, you guys. Shut the ball, shut the ball, shut it! Turn it off. Can you shut it? You can turn it off? How do you want it? I don't know, there's nothing I can do about it.

Is it shut? You shut it? We don't want it to come after us. It? What? Come after what? Clay Meany. Yeah, he's a- There was a golem, we touched a book in the library, and of course a fucking golem came out after it, Beau!

Well, look, we tried, we tried to move on. Do you have the haversack or something? We all agreed to look at the books. That's the worst-case scenario. You do know the stun has faded at this point. It didn't fit in the haversack. You do know that the stun has faded at this point. Yeah, stun would have faded.

Yeah. Can we close the bar? Can it follow you? It followed us through the stained glass window, so. Can Happy Fun fit in the haversack? Or is it too big? It's a bit big for that, unfortunately. If it comes out of the haversack, it'll explode the haversack.

Close the box. Bloop bloop. All right, go ahead and make an intelligence check for me. That's a go. Viper armed. Yeah. You said it before it went down. Intelligence check? Yes.

15. 15, okay. You just offset one of the slight elements of the outside disc, and as it does, you watch as two outer shell portions, the rim's kind of and it collects, and you watch as the surface of it suddenly jumbles itself, like a multifaceted Rubik's cube.

It rearranges itself into this odd shape before fitting back into a sphere, not looking like any of the previous arrangements that you saw in it previously. Good. Oh, the rod took you to Rexxentrum, that's nice. Boy, we have had a time. Oh boy. My goodness.

Are you okay? Went pretty smoothly for us. Yeah. Really? No. We forgot we didn't have anybody that could pick locks. That was the hardest part. I knew, oh. That's what took you so long.

Yasha ended up beating down a door. Peace mode. You can do that. But then that meant that we ejected the pod and then one hallway tore off. Yeah, by the way, you can cross out that connection on the map, by the way, between those two chambers. Oh no. That's Gonski's. Which one?

The entry circle room to, yeah. If you bamf into that entry room now, you could be stuck there forever because you won't be able to get out. There's possibly, based on the map, another way. Oh, right, other doors, other doors. It's just many other steps. That was all we had left.

I mean, got you where you needed to go. Was that our magic? It worked. There was, yeah. Technically, everything worked. You notice at the end of the hallway on the edge of the road where it enters the main street, you see an 11-year-old kid wearing this little hood

scarf element there, who's just standing there holding a basket going, I turn human. And he just runs. No witnesses! Yes? I'll take my coat off and cover up the Happy Fun Ball. I need a private place

so I can put this into the Vault of Ember. Is it, how big is it? Would it fit in the haversack? Mm-hmm, it's about that large. It's like a large basketball. Yeah. Oh, looks like wehmm, it's about that large. It's like a large basketball. Oh, it looks like we're... Let's, uh... Zadash? Maybe get... Let's get down to my father's.

Let's just get inside and take care of it. We're really close to the nip. Oof. All right. Yeah, probably a good call to Nott's and the families in there, by the way. Oof. Could have been bad for them. Oof. Yeah, boy.

I mean, we just could have gotten lost. We sort of triggered this clay golem. Somebody could have gotten hurt. It wasn't too bad. We were able to actually set up pretty well. I died! Hmm? Yeza goes like,

Shh, that happened. Sort of a family tradition now. Oh. Is that an expression in your family tradition now. Oh. Is that an expression in your family? No. He died. But Caduceus saved him. I still have pain, right? It was a lot, but it was good.

It worked. I'll let you go up and start massaging the back of Caduceus' neck. I'm going to kneel down for that, okay. Where did the tuning fork take you? To this very fiery place, and it was horrible, and we barely escaped with our lives, but we're all together again, so it's good. Ooh.

We took the notebooks, right? We? No. No, we did. Yeah. One? All? Some? Oh, wait, no, we did. No, I don't think we did. I thought we had a discussion about taking the notebook. And he we did. Yeah. One? All? Some? Oh wait, no, we didn't. No, I don't think we did. I thought we had a discussion about taking the notebook. And he said he left it. He said he didn't want them. Yeah. Ah, all right.

Well, we took the one. All right. Did you take the one? Yeah. Okay. Everyone knows if you see books in a room, you always take them. Well, that's what. I, well, to the nip!

Let's go. To the nip! It's like the old saying, I killed my whole family, I threw them under a bridge. Yeah. Is that the saying? That's classic. Ooh, it's been a while since I heard that one. To the leaky nip! As you guys go walking,

Luc comes over and grabs Caduceus' pinky and walks alongside, holding your pinky, looks up at you, and goes, youus's pinky. Evening nymphs. And just walks alongside, holding your pinky, and looks up at you, and just goes like, you're really cool. You smell like farts. You swear you hear a little. Boop. Yep. Cool angle.

A little halfling toot? Yeah. Call us the guy on a hummingbird. It's like a little bit of air coming out of a balloon. You walk for a little bit before you stop and look back and you see back in the alleyway, Marion's kind of... Mama. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Oh, oh yes, oh! I... I don't... Oh, here. Fjord? Yes? Help Mama? Yeah, of course, Marion, god. We're the worst. Here. Fjord? Yes? Help Mama. Yeah, of course. Merriam, please, come take my hand.

I'm going to go off by myself for just a moment. Come with me. It'll be fine. Make a persuasion check. Come on, Fjord. Ooh, 18 plus. Natural one. A lot.. Ooh, 18 buzz. Natural one. A lot. Scroll up, you bastard.

Uh... Say 23. She looks at you and goes, Well, if you insist. Don't flirt with him, Mama. Dressed to what? Nothing. She takes a deep breath.

Jester's mom. Closes her eyes, squeezes your hand, and begins to just slowly walk along with you and trying to control her breath. And slowly, you guide her outside of the alleyway into the open cobblestone streets of Zadash. And she's holding her eyes closed tight and letting you guide her.

I'm going to fall back behind them and watch and make sure she's doing okay, but I'm going to send a message to my dad. Okay. Who I never checked with to make message to my dad. Okay. Who I never checked with to make sure any of this is okay. When do you ever? Yeah, well. We're coming up for a parent shock.

Could be there soon. Hey, Dad. Ding dong. Crazy stuff happened. So Mama and Veth's family are going to come stay with you for a while. Super important. They need to be kept safe. Help.

There's a pause. And eventually, you're worried maybe he didn't hear it. And you get a response. Oh. Boy. Well. And that's it. As you all make your way to the entrance to the Evening Nip, you enter the familiar shaded interior.

As you lead Marion to the door, she puts her hand out and touches it and at which point she turns around and opens her eyes finally to look at the surrounding buildings and the walls and the people in the streets, and she just goes, I've never been here. Thank you. Your daughter's been here. Thank you. Your daughter's been to some incredible places.

We'll come up on the other side and hold her hand as we go in. This is going to be quite an adventure. You see her nerves have shifted. At once, time it was a oncoming panic attack, has now transitioned into a nervous butterflies meets jumble of emotions as you approach and you see the familiar head of the...

Right there. Can I help you? Oh yeah, what's the... Bearing gifts. We come bearing gifts. We come with great gifts or something like that. Many gifts, many gifts. You've got to work on that. We offer many gifts?

Yeah, something like that. We've been here like six times. Come on. Gifts. I will cut you. I will cut you. Turning to the trapdoor, you descend the stairs where you hear conversation shifting,

the familiar like of wood scraping across ground and furniture being shifted. There's a big hustle and bustle, and as you step down, you can see a bunch of people are in the process of cleaning and arranging things. As you see the back of the gentleman, he turns around and goes, trains his eyes immediately on Marion.

Welcome. That's where we'll finish the night's episode. Oh my goodness! Oh! No, you didn't! Just podcasting. It's going to be amazing. Damn it! Pay attention!

You totally parent-trapped them. I can't believe this shit. So anyway, the world's ending. You got to have her in. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Oh. Yay! Complicated weave of things.

Oh my goodness gracious, what an episode. That was rough. Oh god. That was rough. I'm so sorry. God, all the last game, I was like, this game is not letting up. Oh, we made it. Let's get to the other side.

Oh. Oh. Yeah. That was all this same day, right? Yes. We've been playing this day for like three episodes. You've had two very long days, nearly back to back. Wow. No good, very bad. And you guys didn't get to sleep.

No, you have not rested. Don't need it. Yeah, still actually doing okay. Yeah, I was going to say, because it's only been, it's still the same day, so have not rested. Don't need it. Yeah, still actually doing okay. Yeah, I was going to say, because it's only been, it's still the same day, so they're fine. Honestly, if there was a side of the group

to not get a full night's rest, you three are probably the best choices. Still our team, yeah. Yeah. But they're actually not going to suffer any consequences for several hours because they didn't. Yeah. Wow, time travel's weird.

Yeah, it is. Why did I put that in there? That was rough. I can't believe that worked. Guys, thank you three for being silent spectators for two and a half hours tonight. Yeah, thank you for being patient. We had an hour-long date. It's fun. I was going to say,

these two had a date. Yeah, I mean, it balanced out. I think we owe Travis his own solo episode at this point. What? Want to go shopping for three hours, Travis? No. Apparently not any good at that either. We're going to get you a cat familiar. You're going to get your own cat familiar.

Well, we've had some great Fjord spotlights and maybe more for everyone as we go forward, so. Let's do revandrum. It'll be fun. Let's do Vandry. Regardless. We got to go to that dude's place. Yes, yes.

Oh, Jesus. That's next, yeah. You can't say that we're not productive in a day. We fit on a side quest on a side quest on a side quest. Yeah, yeah. Just stacking. We don't make it easy on ourselves. No, you do not.

No, you do not. We'll sneak in and crouch. It's okay, we just got a Banff out of here. Foof! Oh god. Oh boy. But that's why I love this game. Wow. All righty.

Well, have a wonderful night. Love you all very much. Thank you for joining us, and is it Thursday yet? Good night. Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role. If you've enjoyed this ever-weaving story, please consider rating and reviewing our podcast. You might just inspire someone new to hop on the wagon for the journey.

We have plenty more stories to tell. Stay tuned, and we'll see you next time.