Critical Role - C2E20 Labenda Awaits

Episode Date: May 25, 2018

As The Mighty Nein get closer to Berleben, trouble awaits them on the road and in the swamp...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story.

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Yes we do! Before we get into it for tonight's game, we're going to go ahead and go through some quick announcements, so be patient with us. First and foremost, returning for tonight, our fantastic sponsor for campaign two thus far, our friends at D&D Beyond. Yes, D&D Beyond, a consistent and amazing sponsor of our show, wants to let you guys know that Mordenkainen's Tomb of Foes is out! It's out! Get yours right now on the D&D Beyond website, and to

celebrate, I called my old friend, Rhody Slater. Oh! Ready? Hang ten, kahunas and wahineys! It's Rhodey Slater, duck diving the word from D&D Beyond. Yank that leash and wrap up the Dawn Patrol, because if a player in your campaign has a master level subscription, any player that owns Mordenkainen's Tomb of Foes can share content with everyone in your party. Frothy, right? Well, kick out your longboard, because... because... You know what, guys? I'm sorry. I can't do this. It's not DMD Beyond They're a great sponsor. It's me. I just felt like at this point in my career, I'd be doing serious shit like Ibsen or

O'Neil. Yeah, it's a Scanlan twist. But I'm doing this shitty Keanu Reeves voice and writing crappy sitcom catchphrases. No offense, Ashley. This stuff's going to live on the internet forever. Yeah. My kids are going to watch this and be like, wow, your dad was a loser, you know? Yeah, that's what we think of as a high-end idea. I just feel like there's, I can do so much more. Oh, sorry, getting a phone call. This is embarrassing. Hello? Yeah? Uh-huh. Really? Yes, yes, I accept. Okay,

thank you. That was my agent. Guys, I booked a two-spot local radio campaign for Lord of the Wings, that new wing place in Chatsworth. Two radio spots! I'm a real actor again! I'm back! All right, where was I? So wax down that twin fin and pull the thruster on an epic left, because D&D Beyond is righteous! Banzai! What a crazy turn of events! I'm so happy. I'm so proud of you. I did it! You did it, Sam. What a crazy turn of events! I'm so happy, I'm so proud of you. You did it, Sam.

Congrats, man. Congrats, buddy. Hashtag booked it. That was so authentic to the actor experience. Mad. Yeah. And really believable. And Lord of the Wings is not a bad restaurant. No. It's really average. And it's a regional spot.

I might get some residuals. On a side note, Matt, you looked so quietly pained to hear Mordenkainen bathed in whatever that was. I wasn't pained, I was more contemplating the fact that those two facets have never combined until this point, probably. Probably haven't heard anyone talk about, you know, Oedolix Resilience Fair. You never know. I kind of like the prospect of a super big surf tour of D&D wizard names. Lord of the Wings? I would go there. Oh, yeah. Lord of the Wings. M would go there. Oh yeah. Lord of the Wings.

Mordecai and wings? Oh! There you go. Let's do it. Road trip. Road trip. Drink your pasta with Saruman the White Sauce? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. Oh my god. All right. Thank you, Sam, and thank you D&D Beyond for being our amazing sponsors. Have fun. Congratulations on your booking.

Okay, so first up, Vox Machina Origins. The hardcover, the collection, the actual physical tome of our first six-run comic series will be on sale next week on May 31st. Right here! Shiny and beautiful! Oh my gosh, Laura wants to hold it. Who did this?

Get your fingerprints off it! I just want to look at it, but you said I had to show it, so. It smells good, too. It smells like a new comic. Because it is a new comic! Exactly! Woo!

It's got some crazy back matter, too. It does. Can I see what it has? Oh. I see it. It's got some crazy back matter, too. It does. The whole thing is so cool. Can you see what it has? Oh. I see it. It's so pretty. It's got some fun stuff,

and it's got some extra specials in the back. Wait, can we show it? Are we going to show it? I'm going to flip it really fast. The back's there. We've got a map of Stillben. Ooh, it's gone now. Wait, wait, wait, but there's more.

Character traits in action. Ooh! We've got magical items. Yeah. And we've got magical items. We've got sketches and various art pieces that show the process of development. There you go. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, it's got a whole bunch of collections in the back. So anyway, that's available next week, May 31st. For all info on the sale of the comic, check out critrole.com. We have all of it up there as of right now, so awesome. Critrole. It came back. We couldn't leave it alone. Crit roll, daca, crit roll.

Stream of Many Eyes is coming up, not this weekend, but next weekend, Friday through Sunday, June 1st through the 3rd, with our friends at D&D, Wizards of the Coast, and we're running a long series of games as they unveil their next upcoming D&D storyline, and a bunch of us are going to be there! Yep! You go to dnd.wizards.com slash S-O-M-E,

or some, stream of many I's, for all the info and tickets for the event. But yeah, we'll be there, look forward to seeing you guys on the internet, or otherwise. Reminder, if you have an Amazon Prime account, you can combine it with your Twitch account and have Twitch Prime, which allows you to subscribe

for free to one Twitch account per month. And if you haven't re-upped, you should do so. Talks of Machina, of course, is every Tuesday night at 7 p.m. Pacific, where our fantastic Brian W. Foster hosts a little chat about whatever happens about tonight's episode for next week. The saddest loo-hoo. That was, yeah. Did you just steal

the comic book, huh? Where did it go? What? Can't see it. What? What? Roll a stealth check. This is the way I'm shaped, what's wrong? It's a cube, 2.0. This is my body, leave me alone. Oh man, that Ashley, she's so boxy.

Boxy. There you go. Do, do, do! And we have the Critical Alive dice set is in the store as well as the Vox Machina D20 set is back in stock for a limited time. Is it still there? It's on the list here.

Sweet. If it's not, I'm sorry. I only read what's handed to me. It's like Ron Burgundy. Must be. I will be at A-Con in Texas, Dallas-Fort Worth, June 7th through the 10th. Looking forward to seeing you guys there.

Well, good. It should probably be the 8th or 10th for me because we have Thursday night that night, but I'll see you there. I believe those are all of our announcements for the evening. Yarr. Which means it's time we bring us back into Exandria for tonight's episode of Critical Role. I'm watching the birds! ДИНАМИЧНАЯ МУЗЫКА Thank you. And welcome back.

I forgot one quick thing in the announcements. So I'm going to get you guys up to speed with that. We've partnered with our friends at Stack Up, which is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping veterans and those in active duty. So Stack Up will be giving away specific Critical Role challenge coins, as well as special prints by our fantastic

Critter artist, Amy King. So if you want to be part of this fantastic endeavor and see how to acquire your special challenge coin and art print, also go to critroll.com for all the information you need. Make sure I got that in there for you guys, too. Thank you guys for working with us on this. All right, so on that note,

last we left off, the Mighty Nein, after spending quite some time in the central city of Zadash, had found that war had made its way to the Empire with the far eastern region of Xhorhas and the Kryn Dynasty. Upon this conflict, you decided that perhaps it would be best to leave the central urban environment. You decided to dodge a few opportunities brought to you, especially that by the lawmaster of the city,

and instead went and made a conversation with your friend the gentleman beneath the city in his underworks. There, he offered two possible work opportunities in which you accepted both, the first of which is going to send you towards the swamp town of Berylben to the north-northeast.

And then from there, head far northeast First of which is going to send you towards the swamp town of Beryl Ben, to the north-northeast. Then from there, head far northeast to Shadycreek Run to converse with and retrieve an ally of his he had not been able to do business with in a while. So you gathered your materials, got your wagon and horses, made your way northward on the Bromkiln Byway

towards the Labenda Swamp. Along that path, you managed to encounter what seemed to be a shack-living hermited orc of some unknown background. Continuing northward, you slept in a cluster of trees where you were ambushed by a wandering troop of goblins and ogres. Upon escaping their clutches, defeating most of them,

only one, I believe, got free, you gather information you could and managing to keep out of the rain, you slept beneath your cart and awaited the next morning. So as we come back in, you all have had your long rest, so if you haven't marked that in your character sheet, please do so. Love it.

And you've leveled up. No. Yay, level six. No, that didn't happen. So as you come to, the cold morning greets you. The low mists and fog seem to still clutch the outer edges of the forest trees beyond your peripheral. You can just see the dark shapes of the trunks against the obscured gray. The mist and dew that has gathered on the grass and bits of vegetation near the base of the

floor where you slept has turned to frost with a cold night, and most of you manage to complete your rest uncomfortably, but awake to chattering teeth and the shaking of your body, except for Jester. I walk around and just crunch all of that frost. I'm like, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. So the morning is yours, what do you wish to do?

What, you never fucking get cold or nothing? I don't think so, no. Let's get up and moving then, I guess. Yeah, please. Do you have any whiskey or something? Nott, you got any booze? Of course I do. Would you mind a swig? Sure, here's my flask.

Thanks. It's always full. Is it always full or is it always just almost empty? You know, I can't see inside it, so I don't know, but I'm sure there's some sort of experiment we could do to... It's all right, you can have as much as you want, it's endless. You don't have to buy alcohol at all anymore?

No, well, I mean, I rarely did anyway. I stole it, but now I don't have to do that either. That's wonderful. Yeah, I think it's about two-thirds full most of the time. May I try it? It's very optimistic of you. Sure. It's really good. It just spreads through your chest like a fire.

How do you decide which alcohol is in it? I decided the first time, and that's what it is, always. What if you get sick of it, and you can't empty it out? Why would you? Why would I get sick of it? It's wonderful. Well, what if you want to try a different thing, like? Snoshberry. Yeah. Yeah, does it only fill up with one kind of alcohol?

Yes, it replenishes with my favorite kind of whiskey. Which is? The kind that gets you good and drunk. Oh good, I didn't know if it had a name or like a... I've tried that other kind before, really, it's not much. The kind that doesn't get you drunk, it's not very good. Good and drunk. Can you get it empty or close to empty if you try?

I could try. I am not suggesting you try. I think it's a good experiment. I think so, too. Well. They already started it. Maybe we shouldn't do that right before we go to the swamp where we're going to fight people. Alcohol.

Let's just see what happens. Yeah, it is. All right, I'll drink a bunch. Okay, you are very drunk. Okay. Did it get lower? I grab it and shake it with my thumb over the spigot. It's still filled with liquid.

Oh wow. I mean, you drank a lot, and it still feels half full. Should you puke it up? No, waste it. I mean, but you can't really waste it. Yeah, it's a bottle of this. You've already used it at this point, really. I guess I could, should I throw up now?

Maybe you should try. It's in the name of science. Stick something down my throat. No, just put your finger down your throat. I find a stick, open up. Puke. Open up. Ah! Ah!

Ah! Didn! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Eventually, yes. I know when to poke your throat. This is really good. He's pointing up, though, so it just projectile, bouncing Betty vomits everywhere. In a very run and stimpy fashion, Jester just begins jamming the stick into Nott's gullet before the brackish brown whiskey

comes back up in a mild spray against the nearby, now damp dirt and grass. Is it steaming in the early morning cold? It would be. This is a fucked up way to start a morning. Nope, not really. Probably not, how is your esophagus after that? A little sticky.

A little saucy? Yeah. A little burning? How many fingers am I holding up? I think four? How many members of the Mighty Nine are there? Nine. She's okay.

But two are always gone. I feel like when I see someone else throw up, I feel like I'm almost like I do. Oh. Yeah. I just roll. Oh no! Oh no?

No. That's a violent reaction. Just to help her out there, she's neat. Do you want me to stick something down your throat? No, I mean, I don't know if that will help. I think it was just gross to see. Uh-oh. That sound is gross.

That sounded amazing. Is it just seeing someone throw, or is it also hearing the sound that makes it worse? Like if I just went. Does that lose it? Yeah, I think it's the sound, too. Okay. Boy, looking at our map, how much longer do I think

we have to go to get to our destination? If you move quickly, you can probably get there right around sunset. Is this quickly like not paying close attention? Quickly. It's not carefully and quietly quickly. I think we're good for that. Yeah, we're fine.

We're not concerned at all about that, what do you call it when you get ambushed? Ambushed. Last night. You're our strategy guy, right? Okay. It's early in the morning. I'm not awake yet. We beat them, though.

Yeah, I've been traveling for years, I've been ambushed dozens of times. I'm just checking. Didn't know if anybody was alarmed. Ogres that are here? No, that was new and exciting. Especially if we're staying on the main path, you know? We'll see anything that pops up or...

Mm. All right, fair enough. We want to rush, you want to rush? Why not take it slow? And we're going to get to the swamp just as the sun is going down if we rush, and that is full of nasty things, I'm sure. That's actually a very good point.

That's a very fair point. So if we go slower. And get there in a day? Yeah. Carefully, then. I don't mind camping out. One more time? One more time. You all are an enjoyable lot, it will be fun.

That was very believable, Caleb. I think he was being genuine. Thank you. I feel like that was the most emotion I can heartfelt. Is Caleb blushing at all? A little. His ears are getting a little pink. Yeah, maybe a little.

All right, saddle up them doggies. His ears are getting a little pink. Yeah, maybe they are. All right, saddle up them doggies. Wow. Do you want me to drive the cart today, or do you want me to keep driving it? I'll drive if you want to switch out and maybe look around a bit. Yeah. All right.

I got it. Boy, it's going to be so great when you're not actually going to want to be in battle. All right, so Molly up front, keeping the horses on task, you guys pick up the pace and get back out of the forest main cluster onto the Bromkiln Byway and heading northeast once more. Carefully.

Now you're moving at the slowest pace? I decided to go at the slowest pace. Medium, a five. A normal pace. Right up here. Carefully. Now you're moving at the slowest pace? I decided to go medium. A five. A normal pace. I drive the cart at a medium pace. All right. Not willy-nilly, not galloping at pace.

Sure. Right, okay, so you, pressing forward, what two are maintaining watch as you progress? I want to watch. I want to watch. All right, so one of you is aiding the other who is helming the roll. I want to stand on the cart and stand up for the ride and look around.

I will aid Jester. Like Wadim riding the sandworm, just standing up. I'll just put my hands on Molly's horns and... I'm into this. There you go. I'll take the back. Okay. Caleb, can I hold Frumpkin again? So am I rolling. Twice. Twice.

Twice, yes. I like him. Okay, okay. I also do have a large tapestry that's relatively clean if anyone's feeling cold. Verge roll, Verge roll. Oh no. Wait, I've been doing this for at least two hours a day

myself. Could we make that tapestry into coats? Nine. I mean, one. Well, like five coats for you. Approximately. I can sleep for at least two hours a day myself. Could we make that tapestry into coats? Fine! I mean, you know, because it's appropriate. Okay. We can have that conversation. For the first half of the day, you continue

along the path. It gets rough in places, and at one point, one of the wheels slams into a rock, and you have to double check and make sure it didn't take any damage. It seems to be okay. We saw that. I can try.

But for the first half of the day, nothing catches your eye in particular. The mist has burned off at this point and what looks to be a bit of sunlight is breaking through the clouds. It seems the storm from the evening before has passed. And you can see now over the mostly gray cloud cover, there are breaks in it and from this distance you can see these over the mostly gray cloud cover, there are breaks in it, and from this distance,

you can see these visible beams of sunlight just slowly coasting across the grass fields as you see the heavy high grass pushing and pulling with each burst of breeze that makes its way across the valley. It's very beautiful here in the center of the Empire, and it's a very relaxing ride, though you know you're bookending your travel

with tension, distress, so you're taking this moment in to appreciate what it is the Empire protects and what the people within are fighting for in the coming conflict. Second half of the day, same people on watch? I'll take a watch. Yeah, I'll take a watch. I'll sit down, I've been standing for such a long time. It's true, yeah, get those ankles to rest. All right, so who's helming the roll? I'll take a watch. Yeah, I'll take a watch. I'll sit down, I've been standing for such a long time. It's true, yeah, get those ankles a rest.

All right, so who's helming the roll? I'll helm. All right, so you're aiding Beau. Go ahead and roll the advantage. 18. 18. Sorry, sorry, 17. 17.

All right, continuing your pace, Beau, as you're watching out from what appears to be a north-northwestern direction, you see what looks to be a dark shape come over one of the hilltops, wide and encompassing. Is it moving far? It seems to be, a number of miles out of the way, almost on the horizon, you can see that there's a series of rolling hills in that direction that obscure

what lies beyond that area, and you watch as one of the hills just goes dark on top. Like the coloration just gets covered in shade. What does the weather look like? Are there clouds in the sky? There are clouds in the sky. I mean, especially this time of year, it's generally pretty cloudy here in the Empire.

You've seen breaks in the clouds as you've traveled for most of the day, and it's been warmer than usual, so it's been a welcome change of pace for what you're used to. But this is not characteristic of cloud cover, as it's been a welcome change of pace for what you're used to. But this is not characteristic of cloud cover, as most everything here has some level of shade. Still rolling grasslands, or are there trees off to the side?

There are bits of trees and clusters of nothing that would be considered a major forest. What you slept in the night before is probably the largest cluster you've seen in your travel today so far, so this catches you. So it looks like the landscape is going dark and not something moved in front of it? Correct.

Best you can tell at this distance. Who's got good eyes and knows about clouds and shit? Caleb knows about clouds. Yeah, I've spent a long time on the road, too. That's natural to you. You both look out there as you travel for the next 10 minutes or so, and you can see faint glimmers

in that moving shadow as a bit of sunlight travels over it. It's at that moment you realize what this is. It's a legion. What was a dark shadow appears to be hundreds and hundreds of soldiers, an army regiment that is shifting from the northwestern side of the Empire to cross over the byway heading east. As you continue your pace forward,

you get to a point where you may intersect with their path if you continue, or you can slow down or speed up, it's your choice. We should speed up. Yeah, there are a lot of soldiers ahead, and I don't think we should have anything to do with them. Plus, if we wait, it'll take a really long time for them to cross the road.

That's a very good point. If we move, though, we have to move fast, and maybe a little bit carefully. Go! All right. Yeah, I can. So the horses begin to pick up pace. You all grab the sides of the cart as it begins to whir and kick its way across the street. The horse is galloping, framing the two different sides

of the cart as you pick up speed. You come up over one of the hills and then down another embankment. As you curve around the side, you can see there's a part where the grass has overgrown a large majority of the road here, but you coasted to the center. Go ahead. We should stand up and ride it like a surfboard.

Let's not be like a flying sea wolf? Yeah. Make a general animal handling check, if you don't mind, Molly. Animal handling check. Are you coming from? Seven. Okay, so.

That's terrible. As you hit that portion of the road, you're having a hard time steering the horses. You're not entirely familiar enough to pull on the rein of multiple at a single time to get the shift in movement, and they begin to careen a little bit off of the path, almost trying to hide into the grass embankment, which slows your movement down ever so slightly before

one of the wheels suddenly is now digging into the ground. I can desperately try and rewrite this stuff, I suppose. Did it break the wheel? Did it break the wheel? The cart is now sitting at a backward angle and it's slowing down. Turn to the other side of the cart

and try to balance it so the wheel comes up. I'm going to pull hard on the rein and see if I can get it out of the... Can I continue or stop? Oh, are we stop, stop? No, it's grinding to a halt. Okay, I'm stopping the whole thing really quickly and we're going to, yeah.

Let me, I'm going to hop off the horse and go look. Okay, you go in. I'm going to, oh sorry. Go ahead. I'm going to, I kind of go ahead a little bit and see if I find any hidden paths that might cut through this field off the main road. Scout ahead a little bit.

Okay, so go make an investigation check. You go and check, and it looks like some sort of heavy rock that was hidden and obscured in the grass just off the road had slammed into both wheels on the left side. The front one had bent, the wood had splintered inward, and the metallic rim on the inside had bent inward.

The other one had completely been pushed inward and knocked to the angle, and it's pretty wrecked. Oh no, is it fixable? Do any of you guys have tools to... Wagon tools? To fix a wagon? How would we know? I mean, what toolkits would you guys have at your disposal? Your background would tell you,

if you chose a background, what bag of shit you have. Your background may have abilities that can help you in this scenario as well. I have vehicles and water. Things that are helpful, carpenter's tools. Possibly, that's rough. I have ball bearings. I have an ax.

I saw carpenter's tools and I was like, who needs that? Anybody? I've got a hammer, I've got some rope, I can kind of, yeah. I don't know. No, you guys. We can, aw.

I have rope, I have lots of rope. I think we're going to need to double up on these horses, you guys. Yeah, and get all of our stuff off of the cart. But I have our giant lead safe in here. Oh yeah. How heavy is it? I mean, it's pretty heavy.

As you guys are making, having this conversation, you can see now the regiment is now coming up over a nearer hill, and it's about maybe a half a mile off from you now as it's marching. You can hear the just kind of rustling of hundreds and hundreds of footfalls making their way through the field. Looks like they're going to be

probably passing in front of you. Should we hide? Or ask to see if we can get something fixed. There is no natural paths here. It's an open field, so there are areas where the grass isn't quite as dense, and there are some spots where it looks like some of the dirt isn't as receptive to grass,

and so you can find patches of dry ground, but there are no paths that you notice leading out of this space, unfortunately. I don't know if I have mending magic. I have mending! I have a mending cantrip! You do. What's the space I'm mending?

You're welcome. I'm sitting here saying, you've already had a mending cantrip of some kind. I have for two minutes been thinking, oh my, I had the mending spell. You guys, I can mend things. Thanks for reminding me on that one. I just had to say it out loud in my inside voice.

Can you try it on the wheel? Yeah, I can try it. Let's just do it. All right. Let's see what happens. So, as you focus on the front wheel, the one that had just dented inward and the wood had spun through a bit,

that was barely keeping it up, you watch as the wheel writes itself. The metal bends back into place. The wood splinters kick right in and the spokes are as if they were untouched. Yes, you are! That was incredible! I would have been way more amazing

if I had remembered that I could do this. Let me try it on this other wheel, though. Wait, oh, we have two broken wheels? Yeah. Yeah. One was partially damaged, the other one was pretty wrecked. The other wheel, unfortunately, has taken a fair amount of damage from the impact, and while that lower half of it has broken inward,

it splintered out and it's bent its way off of the axle. So unfortunately, it's a bit too big for the Mending Cantrip to fix. Can I try to punch it into place? It's pretty wrecked. You do have three wheels, which means you could try it. One of us could be a wheel. Yasha curls up around the axle.

How far away is the army? You probably have about 10 minutes before they cross over the byway. I'm going to come over and be like, I think we should hide and wait until these guys pass with this being the situation. How tall is the grass around here? Beauregard, Caleb, Molly, and Jester,

you guys notice, breaking away from the regiment above, you see a cluster of horses heading in your direction. Well, I'm already going to. We're kind of in the open. We're going to get questioned. We could pull the cart off the road if Yasha just picks it up and runs along with it. We could also kill those people and take their horses.

No, I think Nott would see it, though. I'll use Disguise Self, and I'll turn myself into a Crownsguard. Nott, you should hide. We should look like we're just, you know, like people that are like peasants or something. I agree. What's our story?

What's our story? I'm escorting you to the Labenda Swamp, right, to retrieve stuff for the crown for Zadash, no? No, because our family, we needed help, because our family is in the swamp. We could say we're helping out, what was her name? We're just traveling hired hands. Yeah, we're just going to go to the swamp

and look for yard work. You should move the safe. In the swamp? You should move the safe off the car. I push the safe off the car. Yeah, Yasha and Jester should take this. Are there any woods or anywhere to hide? It's high grass.

The grass off the road where you guys are standing right now is, for you, almost shoulder high. I can go in the grass. Stealth check. Okay. I'm just going to sit on the wagon looking board. No, I just want it. It's in the bag. 22.

22, you die. Am I still drunk? Do I need to? No, you've been traveling for half a day since you left, so you're pretty much sobered up. Bit of a headache. Maybe they can help us fix our wheel. That's my thought. The good stuff's in my bag, don't worry.

So five horses have now galloped up and begin to slow to a trot as they come up alongside, loosely circling the side of your cart in the direction of where the legion is, and as they approach, they're all dressed in righteous brand full armor, helmets on, blades or bows slung across the shoulders. One of them approaches to, Hail!

Hail. Hail. Good day. Apologies, we're going to be crossing the road here shortly. We may require your patience in shifting. We have a broken wheel anyway, we're not moving at a particular speed at the moment. Could you help us?

Actually. Of course. Just out of curiosity, where are you headed? We're headed to this swamp place. We're headed north. La Benda? The La Benda swamp. La Benda. I wouldn't wish that upon my worst foe.

Well, good luck. I'm Captain Maximillian from Druvenloat. Captain? What does he look like? Now, from what you can see through the helmet, you see what looks to be a well-trimmed kind of a bit of chin facial hair, short that comes up from under the lip, no mustache,

but you can't see if it continues to the rest of his face. Do I say it again? Druven Lode. Druven Lode. Druven Lode. Lode or Lote? Druven Lode. Max Lode, got it. load, got it. Oh, damn it.

Where are you all headed? Just a little hash mark every time. Just carve it in the back of your DM screen like a prisoner. At the end of the campaign, you're going to look at my side of the wormwood table, and it's just like all these horrible marks carved into the wood.

Like Zazz from the Batman comics. Captain, where are you headed en masse like this today? Well, it seems that the forces of the Empire are heading east to keep the rest of you safe. Let me see what we can do. Thank you so much. He turns the horse around and begins to head on back. Three follow him, while two just stay in the area,

not close to you, but just holding down the fort, keeping an eye and keeping an eye on the road and looking behind. Do either of them have saddlebags? They both do, yeah. Can I just do a little mage handy, just a little fishing in the one that's closest to me? You very well may.

Go ahead and make a sleight of hand check. Do you want any of us to see this? This can't possibly end poorly. 24. 24, none of you see this. None of you. Nope. Especially not him or his horse. With a slight.

I looked at him, you included the horse. Yeah. I mean, horses notice things. Flip that horse the finger. Fuck you, horse. So he watches the saddlebag, flips open gingerly, and then reaches in, and a small, looks like a pouch of some kind,

relatively heavy, slips out and makes its way over to you, into your grasp. Okay. Just hold onto it. Okay. Can I peek inside? You do. It is filled with what appears to be dry oats and corn.

It's a good one. A bunch of little things. So he's just going to be pissed. Can we ask you, are you familiar with the Labinda Swamp? So the captain's ridden off. So when one of the two other people there, you now look within the armor. One is male, one is female,

and the female soldier turns to you. She has a tense stare and a broad-shouldered look as she turns your direction. I've never been, but I hear it's pretty shitty. Seems the same as what he just said. We're not quite sure what to expect. Any tales or stories you can share? From what I've heard, at the very least,

it's not very comfortable, but people seem to like it and live there still. It's one of the older provinces in the Empire, that I know. Not for me. Would you rather be headed there or where you're heading? That's not really a question, unfortunately. In times of war, we go where we're needed. And we're needed to the east,

so that you don't have to go and wade into the battlefield yourselves. How long have you been a soldier? This will be my eighth circle. Have you seen the front line before? I have not. I'm both terrified and eager. You know, you daydream of glory, and then who knows whence you get there, but

I get the sense that you've seen your fair share of battle in your day, is that right? And looks right towards Yasha, this hulking woman with a giant two-handed greatsword on her back. Ooh, that's awesome. That's very horrible. You're like,. Anything else? Anything else? Yeah. That's really horrible! Anything else? Anything else to that point? Yeah.

At this point, another series of clomping catches up to you, and you can see the captain's return with his two other soldiers and two men who are in similar colors as the Righteous Brand Regiment, but not in armor. They carry large packs on their side, and you can hear the jangling of metal implements inside. One of them has what looks to be some pieces of wood, some strips, and they get off the horse and disembark.

The captain goes, Right, there's the cart. Go ahead and do your business. We're going to do our best to get you back on the road, friends. Thank you. Thanks, captain. Thank you so much for your help. Of course, of course.

The two gentlemen go over and start giving each other their commands, all right, lift up there. One of them pulls it up, the other one's like, Do you need any help? Oh, by all means, if you have it. Right then. Jester's now holding the whole cart up by herself. They get down, pull the wheel off,

and then begin to bend it back into place. One of them goes through a small pack of various pieces of wood, some that appear to have been soaked and are somewhat pliable, ends up replacing the broken wood, nailing it in place. Just to be safe, they go ahead and take some rope and tie it over the wheel very taut

to try and hold the bent wood. This should get you at least to town. I can't guarantee it'll last you for a long journey, but recommended replacement once you get there. Thank you so much. Thank you very much. Of course. Come on, they get back on their horses and they ride back. At this point, the regiment has now crossed over the road

and you can now see just hundreds of soldiers going across the byway, at which point the captain gives a nod, puts his helmet back on. Well, I wish you all luck. Stay safe, and I hope that if luck is kind to us, we'll cross paths again. You stay safe as well.

Stay safe. Thank you. Stay safe. Bye! Everybody be safe. They turn around and they make their way back up to the rest of the army. About another 20, 25 minutes or so it takes for the group of soldiers to finally cross over the path.

This actually was faster than I expected. It wasn't a huge army, per se. Not as big as the one you saw leaving Zadash. In total, it might have been maybe 1,000 soldiers. Like the Kiss Army, basically. The Kiss Army. So, now that the way is open, your cart seems to have been temporarily repaired,

you make your way back onto the road and continue heading north. Could I try mending again and just see if what they did made it to where I can fix it now? Sure. I'll say for the purposes of this, go ahead and make a wisdom check. Oh no, I'm wise!

That was the most insane roll I've ever seen. 23! No wait, that's a lie, that was a save. 20. There you go. Because you were so close, you were able to see all the points in which they attempted to repair the wheel, and now that they've closed the gap on what is currently cracked and on the verge of collapsing,

if this fix wasn't centered around it, you manage to concentrate, and with that, each one of those, he watches the wood refixes itself and becomes a solid wheel. Ta-da! That is very handy, Jester. Thank you, thank you. It's fitting that the Traveler helps fix a wheel.

Right? It's very poetic. Yes. I like it. Caleb, that's almost as powerful as the shit that you do. Let's not get crazy. What he can do is incredible. He can, he's really, have you seen him in action? Have you seen my lollipop? She did just lift her carriage.

Oh yes, she's super strong. Yeah. It's just her magic, there's no, I mean, there's no. Don't make me inflict wounds on you. There's nothing that's being said here that can't be said at full momentum. Oh no, are you ringing me a bell? And with that, the cart lurches forward.

You all have to catch up real fast to scamper back onto the cart as Molly's picked it up against once more. But you get yourself back on the road and heading northward. Yeah! Keeping watch for the rest of the way. Eventually, the sun comes close to setting,

and you haven't quite gotten within a visual range of the swamp. You're coming to a relatively hilly portion of the terrain, and ahead it looks like most of the valley tends to cruise upward where the hills are now cresting and obscuring the horizon, but the sun is setting, so you may be looking somewhere to camp unless you want to push through the night.

Just camp one more time? I think we should camp, because then we will hit this swamp at a more advantageous moment. See if we can find a rise on one of these hills and camp at the top. Hey Fjord. Yep? Have you had any more weird dreams? Nope, no, very peaceful, actually.

Are your dreams affected by the weather? Like, if it's cold, did you, like, throw up ice shards instead of salt water or something? Because that could be cool. Yeah, I could see how that would appear that way. And quite painful, probably. Yeah, that's true. More of that. It hasn't happened that frequently. Okay. Yeah, but could see how that would appear that way. And pretty painful, probably. More of that. It hasn't happened that frequently.

Okay. Yeah, but not yet. If it does, I'll let you know. How frequent is it? It's only happened a couple of times, honestly. Couple of times you have spit out seawater? Well. Yeah.

Just the once, actually. We don't know if it's seawater, though, right? Could be like saline. Saline solution. Saline solution. Do you wear contacts? Yeah, you're not supposed to drink that stuff. It's for rinsing and making out.

Yeah, hair can do the shits. I don't abide by the rules. I walk my own path. Like a twister, I was born to walk alone. Maybe that's your problem this whole time. Fuck the rules. Give me saline or give me death. Smash cut to Fjord's grave.

Well, shit. We gave him saline. This week's episode brought to you by Bausch & Lomb! All right, so as you continue up towards this particular hill crest, there is a small patch of high bushes in what looks to have been at one point an older campsite where you can see there's a clearing of the grass where it's mostly rock and dirt with some bits of dried brush. It looks like there's a rock formation with a bit of charcoal and blackened ground where a fireplace had previously been set.

This'll do just perfectly. Yeah. Let's do this. Set it up. All right, so you guys bring the cart on the side, set up your evening arrangement, light a small fire there in that same rock circle. Who's taking first, Marge? Silver thread around the fire.

I'll take first. Okay. I'll join. All right, so one of you, go ahead and make the watch roll with advantage as the other is giving aim. I'll take it. Natural 20.

Nice. Outstanding. In the vicinity, as the dark night takes over, there is no moonlight. It is very dark, but you do catch a flash in the distance. Oh! Oh. Thunder. Ooh.

And another. It's the Phoenix Lighting. One 1,000. Two 1,000. Three 1,000. Is it,000. Three 1,000. Is it getting closer, or is it? You listen for a while, and it is getting closer. Ah. Are we exposed, like out?

You guys are out in the open, yeah. We're at the top of a rise, so we can see really well. We're going to get rained on. Can we all huddle under the? You're not awake. I mean. I don't mind. I need you. Do we have anything?

We don't have actual tents, do we? We don't have any proper tents. Not unless any of you have it within your pack, but otherwise all you have is the cart. This is why we should have taken that circus tent, man. I have an idea. Let's carve the bellies out of the horses and we climb inside.

So that we don't get wet? Yeah. Full Tauntaun style. Are there any caves nearby? I mean, what are kind of by a thing? We're all steel now. You're in the middle of a field right now. It's hilly terrain and the topography shifts a bit, but right now all you see is darkness

beyond your immediate darkvision peripheral. How many of us can fit under that cot, I wonder? Even then, the ground's going to get disgusting. The occasional flash of light you see in the distance begins to frame what looks to be an ominous shape far to the north, what looks to be the beginnings of a mountain range that you have been able to see previously or hadn't paid attention

with the darkening sky. Did you guys wake us up because of the storm, I'm assuming? I think the storm's going to wake you up soon enough. Yeah. And it does. You all, eventually those who are taking the first part of your evening's rest, come to as the storm begins to come over. The weather gets colder,

and you feel the rain probably imminent within the next hour. Where's the map? Yeah, I was curious of that, too. What's he looking for? The map. Oh, it's right there. Get out the map! How close are we to the Xhorhasian border? We're pretty far away. We're far, yeah. We're in the middle of, we're going here.

Oh, so this must be the mountain range. Explosions are orange or red. No, these are lightning bolts in the distance. Oh, there's Druvenload. There's Maxload. Silberkell Ridge, perhaps. Hopperduke is beyond that mountain range. Wait, does that mean that guy was named

after a whole city? Does that mean he owns a city? No, no, he was from Druvenloat. Oh, I thought that was his last name. His name was Captain Maximilian. But I mean, if he's taken the Leonardo da Vinci approach, then it could be accurate. Max of Lorde.

Hmm. I think we just need to hunker down. I'll take the next watch, because I don't mind the rain. The rain begins to kick to a vicinity. I'll take next watch, too. As the fire begins to go out. I don't mind the rain. The rain begins to kick to a vicinity. I'll take the next watch, too. As the fire begins to go out. I'm getting underneath the cart. Me, too.

I'm going to get on the cart and try and put my cloak over me. Okay, the cloak you do have is treated with supple wax to try and resist most water. You'll still probably be a bit soggy in the morning, but it's doable. I'm staying up. I like the rain.

Okay. I look at up. I like the rain. Okay. I look at Molly underneath me on the cart and I fart a little bit. Just a little. I'm down here, too. That's a little one. Not a little one. Don't gamble on those. Alcohol and beef jerky, man.

I definitely noticed it smelled like fucking roses. Sorry. All right. The first watch goes beyond the rain without incident. Who's taking second watch? I'm sorry, Roses. Sorry. All right. The first watch goes beyond the rain without incident. Who's taking the second watch? It was this big group of us, all of them, yeah? Is there enough people left over to do the last watch of the night, if it's all right?

Sure, I'll take last. Yeah, sure. So is that the end of this? Well, there's only been the first watch. Right. Which one is Molly and I? Next one is Caleb and Jester. Oh, Caleb and Jester are next? Oh, yeah. Okay, I didn't hear that part. All right, so Caleb and Jester, the first watch. Right. Which one is Molly and I? Next one is Caleb and Jester. Oh, Caleb and Jester are next? Oh, yeah.

Okay, I didn't hear that part. All right, so Caleb and Jester, turn your watch. Who's keeping up? Who's the point man on that watch? Your eyesight is better than mine. So go ahead and make your check. Just regular, plain old check? At this point, it's midnight, so yeah,

I'd be pitch black. That's not bad. It's terrible. 19. Okay. As you keep a watch throughout the area, now without the warm glow of the fire, to give you a good visual perspective, all you can go by are the distant flashes

and sometimes close flashes of lightning. A loud one hits, probably striking a tree no more than two or three miles from where you are. A farting bow. All of you jostle to wake for a moment before having to get yourself back to sleep. Big one, did you see that? That's a big one, yeah.

If I could have everybody leave the table except for Yasha, please. What? Oh shit. The storm, the storm. Yasha was the storm. Oh shit. Storm. Storm. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

Oh shit. Oh shit. As much as everyone else is attempting and jostling around to get rest through the night's weather, there's something comforting about the sound of rolling thunder to you. Always has been, but more so in recent years. And as unconsciousness comes to you,

what usually means dreamless sleep, welcome to be dreamless, because not all dreams are good for you. Not all memories are good for you. But as the dark takes you, there's a flash of light, the sound of thunder, and there's a vision, a memory, people all around you, but faced away.

People you know, people you grew up with, but all looking the opposite direction. It fades to dark. There's another flash, and you've pushed through them, and you see pushed through them, and you see an elevated piece of ground, the central rock, in the shape of a figure, but you can't see it.

It's obscured by the low light. You do know who that shape is. It goes to dark. And it stays dark for a while, to the point where you are longing for that next vision, clamoring for it, and you feel this searing pain burning up each of your arms. You look down but can see nothing

except for flames curling up the side. Dull, bluish-purple flames that create the outline of your forearms. It burns up to the tips of your fingers, flash once more, and around you are just bodies. Creatures, people, children, monsters, dozens and dozens of corpses carved and torn asunder,

and where you saw the blue flame up your arm, you just see blood dripping, fresh crimson onto the ground, the only sound you hear. Vision fades to darkness once more. Another blast, and there you see it. The ruined statue. The one beacon of nameless hope that pulled you out of that darkness.

Missing part of its torso, the head mostly cleaved. A kilter, the land seemingly ejecting the presence of what this statue represents. Your eyes look down and focus at the base. As the vision begins to fade to black once more, your eyes focus on that single disk, the four bolts of lightning. Darkness takes you once more.

The next flash hits, and you're just walking. Your lips are parched, your muscles ache. You look over your shoulder, and you see before you the memory of the land you grew up, the wastes beyond the central swamp of Shore House, but it is crawling with thousands and thousands of worms. At this perspective, it looks like it's so small,

but for these worms to be where they are, of worms. At this perspective, it looks like it's so small, but for these worms to be where they are, they would be so immense at this distance. The perspective is almost dizzying, and you look away, and you glance up back at that mountain. In spite of that pain, you continue to push. The vision fades. This time, the darkness lingers. The confusion wells in.

The desperation for something. It's not fair. It's not fair to be given just a few glimpses and no opportunity, no chance. How do you make this right? What do you make right? What did you do? What is there?

One final, loud, shattering, shaking flash of light and rolling thunder brings to you one singular vision of a figure in the dark center of a storm cloud swirling. The wind buffets your shoulders with freezing air. You feel your hair being whipped and thrown around your face, stinging as it slaps against your cheeks and eyes. The same figure, that statue, that had pulled you from the darkness once before,

stands made of the same roaring and roiling clouds and rain and wind, stepping out of the sky towards you. You can see the muscle-bound form, the gray flesh, formless yet solid, as it steps down like a titan from the sky. The foot lands, but a quarter mile from where you stand, but the impact causes the grab beneath you to quake.

And you strangely feel comfort. You can't look away from this figure. As the hand comes down, and gently rests on the ground before you, before it turns upward to a palm. A sourceless voice comes into your head, a voice you've never heard. For all that you've chased this mystery with this beacon is,

this is the first time you've heard a voice through this imagery. And all it says is, you walked the right path. Be strong. Don't forget who you were and decide who you will become. The vision fades back into darkness. You see one other blast of thunder,

and this time you wake up suddenly. The rain's still pouring outside. You're amongst the grass. Can we get everybody else back in, please? Okay, okay, okay, okay. Holy moly. Wake up, you're shivering a bit from the cold Holy moly. Wake up, you're shivering a bit from the cold of the night air.

The ground has dampened, even though beneath the car. You were sitting beneath the car, right? Near it. You're near it. Should we go back to New York? I'm here. Okay, good. That would be so fucked up. Yeah, it would be. That would be so fucked up. Yeah, it would be.

That would suck. Did you use your exit? Yeah. Wait, what do you mean, Ashley left? Never ever say goodbye, she's just gone. She was just gone. It was a goodbye. So was she a Xhorhasian spy

and are we all dead in our sleep? Roll a perception check. Is it water or blood that we're covered in? So as you come to consciousness through this evening's rest for your final watch, as you gather after that, sleep is probably not going to find its way to you again for the rest of the evening.

Who was taking the final watch with you? Oh man, Jester and I talked about everything, like everything about childhood, favorite kind of ice cream, and we know everything about each other now. Mustachio or rocky road? I'm going to mull it over in my sleep, good night. Third watch, Yasha and Nott or Yasha and Beau?

I'll take it. All right, so one of you two go ahead and make the watch perception roll. You can do it. Just make a single roll. Eh. Okay. Eight.

Okay. So, as you guys all rest for the final length of the evening, Yasha and Nott, you stay up, chatting as much as you like, or staying as quiet as you'd like, the rain still pouring through in sheets heavily. How you holding up? Can I go under you?

Can you be like a shelter for me? Like a lean-to? Sure, if you want to get under my hood here. Well, that doesn't come out all the time. I don't know how it works. If I get really mad. But your arm is probably big enough to shield me from the rain.

Thank you. Are you dry? Thank you, yes. I don't like to get wet. I feel like... I don't know if I want to keep doing this. That's okay. Okay.

Ow! Well, could you just give me a moment? Give you a moment? I'm just going to go to the tree over there. Do you have to take a piss? Yes. All right, I won't. I won't look.

Okay. I look. I'm going to go near where the tree was struck. Okay. Close to us. All right. It's about a quarter mile walk from where you are. But you can head there if you want.

Yeah. It's not that long of a walk. Quarter mile. Yeah, you can get there. So a little jaunt down there, soaking wet as the rain still pours down, you approach and you come to what is the half-splintered form of one of the larger trees in this section.

There are a few dotted singular trees or clusters around, but this was once a tall and proud tree. As you approach, you can see near the top, it's been carved right down the center, and part of it's just splintered and exploded. There are chunks of wood around the vicinity, and you can see, even amongst the rain, on the interior of the exposed trunk,

there are still just faintly orange glowing embers from where the bolt had struck through the night. And a baseball bat. A baseball bat. Flick away, gotcha. Lemonade. I heard you. And I wanted to thank you

for saving me. And I promise you I will, I will be the best servant you ever had. Thank you. I'm going to take a piece of the bark and I'd like to carve the symbol into the tree, the Stormlord symbol. Okay.

Not very good, but just to have it there. The bark is a harder utensil to utilize to carve into bark. Sorry, I take a piece of the bark to have. Okay, got you. And I use my sword. Okay, so you're going to take it and carve into the bark? Sorry, I take a piece of the bark to have. Okay, got you. And I use my sword. Okay, so you can take it and carve on the edge there, using the tip.

Okay. It takes you a few minutes to do so, but you manage to complete the shell of the symbols outline and then make your trek back to join up with Nott. I get a piece of this bark from that powerful lightning that struck it. You got bark from a lightning-struck tree? Yeah, I just wanted to put it in my things, you know?

I like to have things from nature. Do you collect things? I collect things. Yeah, I do. What kind of collections do you have? Well, I pull out my book. I mostly just put flowers and things in here because I'm collecting them for someone,

and I want to keep them all in here from my travels. Oh, it's beautiful. Is it a special someone? Yes. Someone back home? That's so nice. Yeah.

But what are the things you collect? I collect all sorts of things. I have a button collection. I used to collect stamps. I used to collect different kinds of, like vials ofials of different fluids and things like that. I collect soles of shoes. Not shoes, just the soles. Oh, just the bottom bits? Yeah. There's many different shapes and sizes. Of course.

Yeah. And the cobblers just throw them away when they're bad. You can fish them out of the trash and you can have a whole bunch of them. What do you use them for? Just nothing. I mean, you can play little drum things with them. And should you need to resole your shoes?

Sure, if you string them together, they make sort of like a Roman gladiator belt sort of a thing. Have you ever put them one on top of the other and make like a Roman gladiator belt sort of a thing. Have you ever put them one on top of the other and make like a platform shoe? Ooh, I could be a little bit taller. And I think if you put two on top of each other and sort of push them in, it looks like lips are talking.

Cool. Yeah. Well, um. I feel like we've gotten to know each other so well. Well, do you want to get back under here? Yes, under your gigantic arm, thank you. Yeah. So Nott cuddles up alongside Yasha's

comparably hulking form to keep out of the water. You finish your final watch as you both watch the sun begin to rise over the horizon, or at least you can't see the sun, but you can see the day grows lighter as it makes its way over the cloud cover. The rain is not quite as strong, and the lightning seems to have subsided,

but it is still a light drizzle when it comes to the proper morning. As the rest of you come to consciousness, completing your long rest, the day is yours, damp as it may be, as the low fog and mist still now encompasses most of the valley around you. It's a beautiful sight as you glance around

first thing in the morning. You can see only the tops of the hills slowly breaking through the layer of cold mist that hits the lower valleys between that shifting topography. As you look off, you can now have a much better view of the Silberkull Ridge above this large mountain range that marks essentially the,

for lack of a better term, the geological center of the Empire. As you glance down, you can barely make out what probably might be the swamp. What's the temperature like right now? It's pretty cold. I'd say it's probably in the high 40s. We have to be miserable right now,

because we are soaking wet and it's cold. This is not my first time. It's like our stay at the beach. It's not freezing point yet, but it's definitely cold and wet. Yeah, no, this is, I miss having a proper tent and the wagons were nice. I miss that.

We should get some waxed canvas or something. Something, at least. How'd the rest of the night go? Any lightning strikes or anything crazy? There was a big one close by. There was? It happened right before I went to sleep. Did you see it?

You see where Jester pointed, or Molly pointed. Molly pointed over there, you look and see this large tree is just destroyed and splintered. That's so rare. I just tipped it right over. That's amazing, I mean, right? Lightning struck? Don't know. Every time it rains.

I'm going to run over and look at the tree. Okay. It's impressive. Yeah. Can I just take some little twigs and pieces of wood and put it in my little component pouch? They're good luck. That's what I've heard.

Yeah, a tree struck by lightning, very good luck. Really? I've only seen it hit in the water. I heard it was bad luck. That's what I was told. Bad luck for normal people. Fuck. For what kind of people? Everybody else. So I what I was told. Bad luck for normal people. Fuck! For what kind of people?

Everybody else. So I should go? Absolutely. I'm going to go get some of it, too. Yeah. Let's just take the whole fucking tree. Dig it up. Attach it to the back of the horse.

Go! Destroy the cart. Yeah. Fuck. You know what? I'm going to take a look at know, I am working on a thing. I have not got it figured out yet, but I think that I could make some sort of shelter for us so that this doesn't have to happen again.

I haven't worked out all the, what? A magical shelter? Or just out of waxed cloth, there? Yeah, how do you mean? No, magic, of course, but I don't have the, I've been working on it, but I haven't really struck to the heart of it. You need more paper? You need more incense?

Well, I always need those things, but I need more time and more research. Well, if you come up with an ingredients list, we'll be happy to drum stuff up, so. Thank you, Mollymauk. Well, you're talking about making shelter. That sounds great. Yeah. Great.

What kind of a shelter? This sucks. Yeah, it does. Yes, it does. Like, just like a dome, like a bubble dome? Like, how do you mean? I have high hopes of, I mean, this is a long ways off,

but I would love a large home or a mansion of some kind that you can just, on a whim. That's impossible, you can't make something like that. Caleb can do it if he sets his mind to it. Like some sort of phantom manor is what you're speaking of, so it would just appear and. Well, then that sounds like that wouldn't be something that's real.

Yeah, I've never heard anything like that. Me neither. It doesn't have to be terribly interesting. We have all of us seen magic in our lives. Seems like that wouldn't be something that's real. Yeah, I've never heard anything like that. Me neither. Doesn't have to be deadly. We have all of us seen magic in our lives. I like this plan. I'm into it. Nothing is impossible.

I mean, I see from her, you know, she fixed a wheel. You fixed a wheel? That is correct. So naturally, she could make a house next to it. Maybe I could do it, because I can make a giant lollipop. Yeah, maybe you have faith, so you should have faith.

I have lots of faith. Boy, I tell you. If you can, Caleb, that would be quite remarkable. Is it considered faith if you just really like somebody? No. No. Oh. Well, listen, nothing gets the blood-warmed movement, so perhaps we should pick up and get going.

I'm going to, just before we take off, take a look at that tree that got hit and just want to examine how it was struck by lightning. Make an investigation check. Beau does pushups while waiting for Molly. This would be more of a nature check. All right, nature. The old morning routine.

Three. Struck by lightning, man. Pretty impressive. Is it kind of, is there like, Is it practically like a little bowl now? Did it split? It split, and a lot of the tree's still standing, but it's broken open from the center, and one half of it's just broken away

and shot off into multiple pieces. I'm going to drop a piece of silver in the center so the next person who comes around and examines this thing finds a piece of silver. Okay, cool. Also, Caleb has watched Beauregard just go to town on like 100 pushups or something, and I go maybe 40 feet away, and I try as well,

and I do one pushup. Yes. Well done. And then I go study Sif Duthar Spelltone some more instead of going to two. Fair enough. Are we waiting here for a while? No. I think you guys are moving on.

No, I'm on the back of the cops. All right, so. Oh, we're on a moving cart. I want to ride on a horse today! Jester jumps onto one of the horse's backs. As you guys begin to pick up speed and head down, you're now at the very, very top of this major series of hill clusters, essentially, and making your way down towards

the base of the Silverpearl Ridge. As we travel, I'm going to try to make acid. Probably not a great idea. Do you have the same acid supplies on you? Yeah. Okay. I bought a kit. I've been trying to do it for a while, but we've never stopped.

All right. I'm going to play the sitar right now. Yeah, so. It's perfect time. So I would like you to go ahead and make, hold on, hold on. It's roll plus proficiency, because you're proficient in alchemicals, plus this will have to be dexterity at disadvantage

because you're in the back of a moving cart. Wooden wheel cart. Okay, so 16 plus proficiency is 19. Correct. But now I roll at disadvantage. Roll a 20. Okay, so 16 plus proficiency is 19. Correct. But now I roll a disadvantage. Yeah, mm-hmm. Roll a 20.

Nine, that's a 12. It's a 12, you've managed to succeed. Yay! In spite of the whoa, at one point it gets a little dodgy and you almost drop it and you're like, whoa, catch it before it begins to spill the nearly completed acidic formula all over the center of the wooden cart, eating through it.

You make cocktails? Yeah. You do manage to complete one vial of acid, so you can mark that down. One vial of acid, great. So, as you guys approach the mountain range here, you can see the clouds now, which have pressed down, obscure the peaks at the top of the range.

Now you can just see the dark and mountainous form vanishing up into the top gray, whereas in the distance, sheets of rain that are still coming down much heavier to the north obscure your ability to see further beyond the northward valley to either side of the range. You also see at the southern base of the mountains, which is the direction you're heading,

you get the sense that the watershed, most of the mountain range seems to almost lean to a southward direction, so the watershed of all the rain pours and slides down the mountain into this one central southern area, and there you see the darkened, tangled, thick swamp of La Benda. It's going to suck even more because of this storm.

Yeah, it's going to be worse. Sitting deep green and distant, tangled and sprawling before you. How far off is it? From where you are now, I'd say it's maybe eight or so miles. Okay. Hey, at least it's cold, so there won't be a lot of bugs around.

Normally bugs are terrible in swamps, I hear. I'd rather be cold than have bugs. Right? Yeah. That's a very fair point. All right. Continuing your path on for a little bit of the morning. Eventually, you begin to watch as the grasses begin to give way to more,

how do I put it? Moistened. It's a fun word to use. Moistened terrain. The normal dry, even after a rain, the damp ground is now becoming sludgy. The path itself, the damp ground is now becoming sludgy. The path itself, the road, seems to have been well built and set for this type of travel,

but even then, it's starting to gather on the wheels a bit as you ride through, and you can see bits of it are clustering up and leaving this groove in the ground behind you. Is anybody... Who's on a horse? Am I on the cart, or am I on a horse? You're on a horse. All right, I'll be on the cart a horse? Am I on the cart or am I on a horse? You're on a horse.

All right, I'll be on the cart then. I'll be on the cart. I'm going to take one of the swords and just start using the flat of the blade to scrape the wheel and give it an edge to start removing the mud off of and just popping between the wheels. Okay, just move around each one, yeah.

It doesn't get too bad, thankfully, because it's still pretty slick. When it clumps on, it generally slides off. It's not immediately damp for the first time, most of the vicinity here. Oh no, and if you start to lose hope, your horse sinks into the mud and is gone forever. Yeah, true.

That's fucking really traumatizing. The rain does eventually begin to subside. However, the edge of the swamp begins to breach the path that you're heading. You begin to see the swamp grasses take over from the hillside. You begin to see the heavy puddles of swamp bog water beginning to appear to the right and left. The trees you're used to seeing here in the middle of the field

are giving way to banyan trees and other thicker, trunked, gnarled bases, heavy, thick, vine-covered canopies. The insects begin to fill the air with a word buzzing. There wouldn't be insects because it's cold. In addition to the insects, do we start to become aware of wildlife around birds and beasts?

Go ahead and make perception check. Okay. Do we know anything about where we're going? Fuck. We're going to see a safe house that the lights have been out at. We're trying to find the bronkies. Yeah, but we don't, like, this is a big swamp.

Are any of us good at, like, wood stuff? Is this me, am I the girl? I'm all right at it. I'm good at nature. I know about the, I've lived in the woods for a long time. I'm okay at surviving. Yeah. Okay. About half an hour or so of travel along the road into the center of Labenda Swamp,

the humid air prevents the mounting sweat on your body from evaporating, causing your sweat to pool in your armor in uncomfortable ways. Your breathing is somewhat shallow as you adapt to the moisture in the air around you. The ever-present hum of the buzzing insects begins to just permeate the atmosphere around you while the musky stench of decaying plants

and stagnant water grows stronger the further in you pass. A very low fog, since still relatively early in the day, sits across the surface of the water that's exposed in patches between where the thick roots and soft, rotting vegetation seems to be sitting, almost like a spongy ground. Can I take my staff and poke it in the marshy bits? It seems to be sitting almost like a spongy ground. Can I take my staff and poke it in the marshy bits?

As you push down, it sinks a few inches, and as you pull back, the portion that you had pressed in remains, but the water begins to fill up the space where your staff had pushed in. On that plus side, I think sitting in the car with Caleb is probably the cleanest he has been in two years, because it has been raining nonstop.

So, as you guys continue further into the swamp, you get about another half hour or so on the path, before Beauregard, Caleb, Molly, and Jester, all at once, you hear this strange, trilled cry of some kind. It's like. I cast Mage Armor on myself. Mage Armor. That sounded like it was talking,

or did that sound like a bird? I think it sounded like a bird talking. But it sounded like an alert to me. I don't think I heard anything. Should we call back? What should we call back? Okay, that's what we decided to do. That's not a good idea.

Maybe it's a mating call.. That's not a good idea. Nope. Maybe it's a mating call. Maybe it's just a bird. I don't see how that's any better. You hear it again, only this time it sounds intense or frantic. The stream's like. Does it sound like multiple or from the same source?

It sounds singular so far. Where is it coming from, what area? It's coming to the right off the road, like deep into the swamp. There's it, it's over there. Are we going to stop? Are we moving, or are we still? You guys are still moving forward on the path.

Can we look, can we see? Can we see into this swamp? Make a perception check. Natural one! As you're glancing out there, a piece of stray vegetation falling from one of the nearby trees flitters into your eye, and you're like, ow, ow, ow, ow!

I got the leave in notes, I think it's a leave. You used mending. I used mending on my eyes. No offense. Now that we've continued on, how do the wagon wheels look on the road as we're moving? Are they leaving tracks that's filling in with water behind us at this point, or is it still made?

Faintly, faintly. Not like the staff push, though. No, no, although she was pushing off the path. And this road is designed to not sink heavy with the rest of the swamp material. There's a lot of travel happens in and out on this main path, the byway. So as long as you're on the path, for the most part,

you should be fine. Is this considered the Barrelbin path? Well, this is the path to Barrelbin, yeah. The Bromkiln Byway is the road you're taking. The Bromkiln. So this is not. You're in the swamp. You're in the swamp. The road goes through the swamp. Yes, and Barrelbin is further in the swamp.

I would say that Caleb has spent a lot of time over the last several years in woods. Can I check to see if I've ever heard that cry before? Make a nature check. That is 18. It sounds similar to a crow, like a crow cry, but it sounds frantic.

You've heard the sound similar to it before when you had once as a child watched a crow snatched in the jaws of what appeared to be some sort of hunting cat. And right before its bones were crushed and it went lifeless, It's a very similar sound. Oh boy, that's specific. No movement that we can see, just the sound.

No, just the sound. I mean, it's loud enough where it's not that far off the road, but it's not in sight right now. There's too many tree trunks obscuring your vision. Branch canopies over us at this point? They are, but it's not super thick. There's still light coming through, and as you travel, there's bits and pieces that overhang the road,

but you still have open sky ahead of you. You don't think it's going to continue the further into the swamp you go. Fjord, will you look at my eye? I think there's something still in here. Yeah, here, look up. Yeah, you got a tree bugger in it. Fjord, get it.

Oh god, this is the worst part. Can I try and get the bug out of her eye? Roll a dexterity check. Please be a one. Please be a one. After the game. Natural 20. True love! I'm not blind!

With a deft flick of his finger, he manages to pluck the piece of vegetation from your eye. Whoa! My hero. I got it, Jester. Thank you, Asuka! I mean, Fjord! Gently to the side of Molly's cheek. Fjord regurgitates saline solution. I got. The sword regurgitates saline solution.

Yasha starts throwing up. Uh-oh, it's happening again. Does there appear to be any sign of wreckage or anything else that looks like it might not have made its way through this path because of other dangers? You, who've been keeping a discerning eye, and you rolled one of your perception check before, it was? 15, but that was a bit ago.

Yeah, roll again. As you've stopped at this place here. That's not as good this time, 12. 12? Something shifts in the water ahead, almost just beyond the vision. Something that was stationary before and looked like a log that has been resting in the water,

just dips away from you in the direction of the noise. Nobody move. I'm going to gently line up one of my swords. Okay, go ahead and mark that. If you're going to move. Have we stopped the cart? Move onto the cart. But we're on horses.

Are we on horses? You guys are still on the path, yeah. Should we stop moving the cart? Did you see, yeah, we should stop. What'd you see? Something just moved in the water. It might be able to hear our movements. It moved away from you.

Oh. It did move away, though. It moved in the you. Oh. It didn't move away, though. It moved in the direction of the sound. You hear it again. I really want to see what it is. Oh, you don't have a bird, you have a cat. Is this terrain similar at all to Potts' Choros? This terrain is pretty similar

to you, yeah. Okay. In places where you grew up, some hunting and some places of your nomadic lifestyle put you in terrain very similar to this, so you're pretty comfortable here. I take a ball bearing out. I toss it and throw it into the swamp, see what happens.

Nothing. That's such a good sound. Some poor fish is going to try to eat that. toss it and throw it into the swamp, see what happens. Nothing. It's such a good sound. Some poor fish is going to try to eat that. He probably is going to die. Yeah. We're going to have a very strange poop. Yeah, he'll be fine.

He does. What are you guys doing, anything? I'm going to use Minor Illusion and about 30 feet away above the water, just above the surface of it, I'm going to create a little hummingbird and just have it whip back a way above the water, just above the surface of it. I'm going to create a little hummingbird and just have it whip back and forth above the water.

That's clever. Just to see. Continues for a bit. Move it a little. No reaction. Nothing. No! Okay. I think we're okay.

Should we continue on, or? Maybe we should call out and see if Vabrand is here. Maybe it's Vabrand. Maybe it's a call. We're just getting into this swamp right now, right? Yeah, maybe an hour into it. So would we know if this is the stretch of road

that they were talking about, that they were having issues with? It was issues, they were cut off from the safe house. You don't know where the safe house is or what location it is, but. The safe house is in the swamp, it's not in Beryl Bend, right? As far as you know, yes.

So. We press on. Maybe not calling out. Maybe we can climb a tree. Are there any tall trees? There are a number of tall trees. Can I start climbing a tree? Are you good at that? Sure.

You want to get a little closer and climb a tree? Sure. All right, so you go ahead and make a general athletics check as you jump off of the side, your legs into the swamp as they sink about a foot with each step, leaving these heavy footprints behind that fill with water. 21.

21, with that, you make your way through the swamp. The suction doesn't stop you one bit, and you grab the nearby tree and climb to the top and get off to a branch to look in the direction. Make a perception check, please. Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle. That's cocked. How could you do that?

It was like evenly cocked. It was a really good one if it hadn't been. Perception, 10. 10, that's enough. Over the edge, you glance down, and you can see past the treeline, maybe about 100 or so feet from where you are, there's a small clearing, this open area where where the water is,

there's a thick bit of black bog. It looks almost like a thick, swampy, tar-ish-like little pool. You can see a part of a tree has fallen into it, and the liquid is just generally darkening the bottom of where it's been stuck through. You don't know how long it's been there. There's the dark root and crooked branches

and elements of it sticking up in the air. The smell of bog rot is very strong, even from this proximity to it. You see something moving in the center of this bog, struggling, shifting. You see covered in this tar-like material and flailing what looks to be some sort of a humanoid creature of jet black skin.

It's not skin, feathers. It's fighting against the swamp. It's small. And you watch as shifting out of the water off to the side, slowly up the bog, probably what Beau saw earlier, what looks to be some sort of reptilian creature with a long snout and a long tail curving around and making its way slowly towards the bog

as the flailing bird creature is attempting to get a . I guess Guiding Bolt on the reptilian creature. It's 120 feet distance, and you said that the bog is 100 feet away. That's true. That was going to be a... Uh-oh, it was over here. What's the DC on that? It's a... shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry? It's a, oh shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's all good. Guiding Bolt. It's a DC on any of your spells. It's plus seven plus eight. Oh, it's plus seven. It fails, go ahead and roll damage. Okay, ah, 46, ah! Um, eight, 10, 13, 13.

13 points of damage. All right, as you watch as all this divine energy suddenly bursts and burns around the creature's body, as something spins with this hiss in the direction, looking around, seeing nothing there. Don't worry, we'll save you! There's the thing and it's trapped

and there's the reptile thing that's going to eat it! Where, which direction? Over there, and I point and I start climbing over and try to get to it. Do we even see her anymore? You see her in the tree, you don't see what she's looking at and pointing at, but she climbs down the tree and begins running

in that direction. It's about 100 feet away, don't worry! Don't worry, what? What? She's ran off. Shit. Oh, fuck, I'll run off after her. What are we saving?

I don't know, right now we're saving Jester. What if it's, yeah. I'm still on a horse, yeah? I'm on a horse. You are, yeah. So you're standing on your horse, taking it there? Yeah, I'm standing on my horse. You're going to R-tax your horse?

Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do, to R-tax your horse? How cool is that? Well, it's cool for the first minute before it goes. Oh, the It's time-folded to the attack thing, so I have to roll an attack. Yeah, that's so that's what happens. Oh, gotcha, so roll an attack. Oh no.

Yeah, I know you saw it in slow-mo, but it is plus seven. It's in that roll. Okay, it definitely hits. It's plus seven, six, 23. 23, so I'm cool. Timeline worked out. So as you approach, this is the visual. Scythe.

Yeah, Bat-Town! Bat-Town! Bat-Town, that way, like, check out what's close. This is what you see. Whoa! Oh, dang. Whoa! Whoa! Dang, whoa, so many trees. Oh my god, look at all these trees.

Damn! Whoa! So this here is the gator that you see making its way there. It is very large. Oh no, it's really big. Look at that teeny little bird guy. Jester, as you make your way up over to that side, the rest of you are currently trying to catch up on that end of the sail road.

Okay. All right, so. That being the case, I need everyone to roll initiative. Oh boy. Oh, Jesus. Huzzah. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba.

All right. Fuck! Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Just, I'll say that. That'll do. We're fighting today. All right. Fuck! Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. That'll do. That's good. Oh shit. Yeah, hey, it's double digits. Yeah, it's double digits.

You know what we never do? What? Tap into our pool of luck. Oh. Ah, shit! Oh, our thing. Our fate point. Our thing that we've been hauling around.

Yeah, we never use it. We've never ever used it, around. Yeah, we never use it. We've never ever used it, ever. Wait, using the what? You know the dodecahedron thing? Oh yeah. We have to focus on it in the morning. We never use it. You have to stare at it for a minute.

Somebody has to stare at it. I have a thought, is I have a coin, and whoever's holding the coin has that for the day, and then we just pass it around so you just have this. Okay, that's really smart. Obviously we didn't do it this morning, but from now on. We'll just say we passed the coin. Okay.

Luck is with suckers, man. Who wants it for tomorrow? Or for the next, for after the fight? For the next eight hours? Yeah. All right, so heading this direction. We'll figure it out. What if somebody dies in this fight?

Yeah. All right. Also, it's important that it is kept hidden. So north is that way, that's the direction you were traveling was this direction. Okay. So you're heading this way. North is that direction. Yes.

Correct. So, 25 to 20. Correct, 20 to 15. 15. 15. Wow. Man, that's pretty crappy. It's not close enough to really do anything yet.

Beau, you got 15? Mm-hmm. Molly, you got 15? Mm-hmm. You assume there's only one of them. All righty, that brings us to 15 to 10. 14. Excuse me. 12.

13. Was it? 13. Would you, Jester? 14. All right, so. Jester, you're pushing Caleb Nutt. Yeah, 12.

12? Yeah. Six. Big six. Big six. You got six? Yep. All righty.

Shooter, coming out. All righty. Beau and Molly, you're up first. At a full double dash, you can catch up at this point to almost Jester. It's rough terrain because it's a swamp. Yeah. All right. So you guys will say get about, oh god, there.

And Molly, you're a little bit behind You guys will say get about, oh god, there. And Maul, you're a little bit behind. Because Beau's just a little bit faster than you. Yeah, she is. She'll probably do a little. Correct. So, it's now your turn. That gets us to Jester. So I can go?

You can go. Oh gosh, okay, okay, okay. I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon! All rightapon. Dun dun dun, da lollipop. Where are you placing it? 60 feet range? Oh shit, that's right. It's a 60-foot range. How far can I get it? That's true. I guess I can run forward first before I do it. I'm going to run forward and try to get up on that tree. 15. It's rough terrain against the swamp, because it's very. Okay, so that's about as far as I can go?

As far as you can get, yeah. Wow, I'm going to stand on that log then. Okay, so you get up on the log. So I'm out of the swamp. All righty. Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. Not meant to stand on this, that's really obnoxious, yeah. We'll say you're on it.

I'm on it, okay. You're on it, all right. I'm on meant to stand on this, that's really obnoxious yet. We'll say our minds. I'm on it. I'm on a log. Oh well. I guess, wait, I can't get it quite that far, can I? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let me just check one last thing before I definitely do that. You can get almost to it.

Oh yeah? With a 60-foot range. Okay. I'll put it as close as I can to it. There, as close as you can. Yeah, and then, so that's my bonus action. Correct. For my action, I'm going to save,

wait until it's close enough, and then I'm going to hit it. Okay, so you're holding? I'm holding my actual action to attack it. Can you use an action to hit with it? I think it's a bonus action. No, it's a bonus action. Sorry. That's dumb.

From my perspective, it looks like the gator is super stoked about having this lollipop. Yeah! I'm going to... This is his lucky day. I'm going to... The sly pop just evaporates out of the swamp water and is now hovering there at the ready. I'm going to... Sly Pop just evaporates out of the swamp water and is now hovering there at the ready.

I'm going to hold Sacred Flame. Okay. Good cast on. You got it. Ending Jester's turn, that brings us to Yasha. Full run, what's your speed? 40 feet. 40 feet, you're right up next to Beau.

Fuckin' linebacker 40. Doot, doot, doot, doot! All righty. It's above. Fucking linebacker 40. All righty. I can't walk into, in, right? No, that's double dash. You guys all stayed back while Jester ran in. Got it. You're just barely getting caught up to her at this point.

Okay. Caleb, you're up. I am, okay. I am going to stick a root of licorice in my mouth like a hazy, like I'm Fjord, and cast a haste on Nott. Oh shit. So read this, because your armor class is up, you have an extra action per round, you have advantage on dexterity saves, and I will just do my full movement forward.

That's about as far as you get right there. Excellent. Just knock him around! I do my full movement forward. That's about as far as you get right there. Excellent. Almost like a pyramid. Okay. Just knock him around! It's not going to be made of metal. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That feels delt-tattled. It chips the paint better. Yeah. Extra action, more AC. That's okay, Nott, you're up. Wow, I'm feeling so fast. Ooh, you could double dash.

I will dash, you know, to catch up to them, I guess. So, if you're looking at movement speed, we'll get up to where Caleb is. Okay. Sorry, we'll get up to where Molly is. And my bonus action dash. Bonus action dash will get you up to where? Woo!

Up to the edge, about. Fine. We'll say where you were. And then you can still attack. There, yeah. Then I get two attacks, two actions now, right? You have an extra action. Yeah. Then I get two attacks, two actions now, right? You have an extra action, yeah.

Whoa. But that's still out of range of hand crossbow. Is it? Well, no, it's not, it's just I have to fire disadvantage. Right? Yeah, but up to you. All right, sure, I'll do that, I guess. You can use the extra action to go closer as well.

That's true. Or extra attack. Okay, I'll use one action to get closer, closer still. All right. That's it. Okay. And now I'll test the air and to a lob shot. Go for it, arcing it over with disadvantage.

Okay. Ooh! Two plus something, so it's nine. She goes wide, sticks into one of the nearby swamp trees over here. That ends your turn. That was really close, though! I'm sorry, Caleb! I failed you!

Five, 10, 15, 20, 25. So he's within range of my radiant blast now, so I can attack him. You can, so go ahead and do that as you release the bolts. Okay, order the Sacred Flame is what I meant to say. Dexterity of 15. That's a failure of the two. So you're at roll damage.

Wait, do I get more, because I'm level five now? Spell damage increases when you reach. Oh, two to get more because I'm level five now? Spell damage increases when you reach, oh, two to get, yes. Oh good, three whole damage, woo! All right, three. I love this cleric. That's still something. It's fucking dumb. I can't do anything, I suck. I can mend the shit out of some wheels, though, bitches.

It approaches the bird creature. It doesn't have its action to strike it, unfortunately, because it had to give the extra movement. Coming out of the way here, you see... Oh! You called it. At this point, you realize the one that was approaching it was approaching from the opposite direction that Beau saw the other thing move. Yeah, I was wondering why I was approaching from the opposite direction that Beau saw the other thing move. That's the one that Beau must have seen as it begins to emerge from the brush underneath in this slow growl. You hear the growling, sucking sound as it approaches.

No! It's going to go ahead and attempt to make a strike. Oh no! Natural one! Yay! That's fucking lucky. All right. As it attempts to bite out towards it, the small bird creature scrambles backward

and manages to beat its jaw out of the way. It is going to attempt to swing around and swing its tail in its direction. Oh jeez. A two, are you fucking serious? Yeah! Sorry. Screw you, Snitch.

The dice can hear you. Okay, apparently. So yeah. He still swats. Although technically, the creature is restrained, so it does have advantage on its attacks. Yeah, attack rolls against it have advantage because it is restrained.

So the first attack missed, the bite. Like searching for the bone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Roughing his own bite. So the tail does it. All right, so the jaws, it missed with the one and the two on the first strike. The second one, it swings with its tail. Hey. I love it. I'm going so the jaws, it missed with the one and the two in the first strike. The second one, it swings with its tail.

Hey. I love it. I'm going by the rules, it's restrained. It's restrained. The second one, the tail does hit. Crack. This is going to be... 28. 19 points of bludgeoning damage.

As the tail cracks across the scrambling bird, you watch as it just goes limp. Oh no! And is currently unconscious, its tiny form now stuck in the bog, unmoving. We should have gotten to it sooner. This is so prehistoric. All right.

Now we're in this for a dying bird? Now it's Fjord's turn. Are we staying in this? Hey man,? No, it's Fjord's turn. Are we staying in this? Hey man, I'm up here, I don't know. All right, fine, I'll use my speed to approach 15 feet. All right, so good. Half of 30. Your speed will get you about there, as you and Caleb are about the same space.

I'll use Eldritch Blast at 120 feet for the gator. That's the farthest north. Go for it, roll for the attacks. Two beams. That's a fat one plus four, that's five points of damage. Five points. And the second beam, 12 points of damage. So.

Did you roll for the attacks on each of them? I did not. I have never played this game before, apparently. Thank you guys for your patience. That is a nine. Nine misses. And that's a 12. 12 misses. Both go wide.

Up another space, no damage to that cross. Cool. However, as it slams into the wood nearby on the ground, it turns in your direction wood nearby on the ground, turns in your direction, noticing now the arriving brigade. That's, I'll use my bonus action to cast. Wear the brigade. Yes. Nope, that's it.

That's my turn. All righty, top of the round now, Molly and Beau. Are we doing this? Birds die this way all the time. It's not a bird. What are you, it's feathery. No, it looked like a person, you guys. But look, I mean, two big ass,

right at the dinner table, we're real far away, going to take a hot minute for us to get there. The bell's been rung. What if it's for Bronn? I'm at least going to get up to, I'm at least going to get, like, I'm at least going to get, like, what's a basic movement at this point? We'll say for the purposes of this,

at movement, because the space is not right here, just on the edge of the map for your movement. Am I within 60 feet of either of these? Sure, you are. Are we doing this? While we're doing this, I'm going to try and cast Enthrall on the closest gator. The closest gator.

The closest gator? Okay then. You can pull it up here. That's a wisdom save? Enthrall. That's probably a barred spell. Yeah. Here.

Enthrall, all right. You have a distracting string of words. Yep. All right. Enthrall. All right. You have a distracting string of words. Yep. All right. Enthrall. All right. It has advantage on the save. Does it?

You guys have attacked it. We haven't attacked that one yet. Oh, that's right, you're right. Yes, of course. Stop it, it's like a little. What if it's not successful at attack? That's a two plus zero. That is a eight plus zero. I don't think so. I think it makes it, actually. That's a two plus zero. That is a eight plus zero.

I don't think so. I think it makes it, actually. Oh, really lucky. Is eight my save on wisdom? What's your spell DC? It should say. It's always, it's a... Is it charisma-based? Is it, well, it says wisdom, but I don't know.

It's a wisdom save, but is it an ability or racial ability? No, yeah, it's a racial ability. Yeah, then it's charisma based, because all of them are, so it's DC 10. So it still succeeds, actually. It rolled really poorly. So the creature has a disadvantage to perceive any creatures other than you

until the spell ends. Has a disadvantage to perceive? Yep, it ain't going to eat, and it means it's going to pay attention to me and only me. That's wonderful. So I'm just sitting. Oh no. I know, I'm sitting, I'm spinning my sword and I'm just talking in, you know.

In gator. Yeah, just. It seems to have paid attention to, I mean, it's not just all your presence, but it's focused on you. So if it tries to, if any of you are trying to get around a stealth lair, it's going to have a hard time noticing you. All right, so that ends your turn?

Yep. All righty. Beau? Am I able to have enough movement to get on this dumpy stump? You can get up to here, I'd say, if you're moving at the same pace, and then that's your movement. You have your action and your bonus still.

Sure. I don't think I'm with, I'm, hmm. I'm not within 60 feet with, I'm, hmm. I'm not within 60 feet of any of them, am I? No, I guess I am. Yeah, one of them. To throw a thing. Can I use my bonus to move a little bit further onto the top of this tree? If you want to spend a ki point

to do your Step of the Wind. My Step of the Wind? I can't get within range of them with my Step of the Wind, though,'t get within range of them with my step of the wind though, right? Almost. Fuck. Goddamn it. Although if you're moving towards that tree,

and you move there instead. If I move straight? That's still the same. Yeah. Just out of range. Get them ninja stars out. Yeah, I'm just going to ninja star for my main attack, and I don't know if I can move on my bonus, can I? You can if you spend a ki point. But only if I move a ki point, right, right, right. Ah, fuck it, ninja star.

All right, go for it. So you get two with the creature. Oh, okay, okay. That's a 20 for the first one. 20 hits. Ooh, and a natural 20 for the first one. 20 hits. Ooh, and a natural 19 for the second one. Both hit, go ahead and roll damage on each. These are 1d4s, right? Staring stars. They're darts, I think they're home-brewed darts.

So yeah, I think that's 1d4. So for the first one, that's seven, for the second one, that's five. Nice. Not bad. Nice. Gambit style. Total armpit throw.

Yeah. So as you throw them both, they just. And I point at Percy and I go, he did it. Oh, I call him Percy! Oh! That's awesome. Oh shit! I think that's the first time I've done that.

That's the first time any of us have done that. I voted Molly, he did it. He did it. Aw. Aw. Aw. What is it now? I'm Miss Percy. Like the corner of my mind.

All righty, that ends your guys' turn. Jester, you're up. Okay. Oh god, I'm going to, can I climb up on this tree right in front of me? Right here? For my move, yeah. Sure, go ahead and make an athletics check.

Oh boy, don't fall. As we attack this. Eww! I was so afraid it was going to be a one. 16. 16, sure, we'll put you up. Yay! There in the tree. Okay, good, I'm going to cast Blindness, Deafness at level three on both of the beasts.

At level three, a different target. That's cool, that is cool. That's pretty great. All righty, so is it a wisdom save on that? It's both. What does that spell do? Blindness Deafness. Wisdom save?

It's a con save. Con save, all right. Either blinded or deafened. So a 19 on that one. Okay, shit. See if it succeeds.ened. So a 19 on that one. Okay, shit. So he succeeds. And that's a 14 on the other. Yeah!

So that one, however, is blinded. Yeah, he's blind. You watch this all of a sudden, the eyes darken and begin to flailing about, unable to actually make a beat on where any of you are at the moment. So he's got a disadvantage on his attack rolls, is that what it is? Yep, and advantages on attack rolls against it.

Whoa. That's good, okay, and then I'm going to use my spiritual weapon to come up behind the other gator and smack him on the back. Boop, go for it. Okay, that's a... Someday I'm going to know what I'm doing. And that's not concentration, correct?

No, spiritual weapon's just a... It just lasts for a minute? Oh, blindness, deafness? Yes. Blindness, deafness is not concentration. Correct. Yeah, just a minute. Just a minute of pain.

Yeah. At the end of each of those turns, it can make a concentration saving throw. Yes. Okay. So plus seven to hit. Good. Holy cow.

So that's 23. That hits, roll damage. Okey dokey. That is eight damage. Eight damage, nice. Did you lose the pancake? I did. Yay.

All righty. So as your lollipop slams into the back of that distant alligator, but it's still right there with the unconscious creature in front of it. It's starting to figure out where to keep its focus. It seems hungry, but it's also being assaulted. Yes.

All right, then it's Jester's turn. Yasha, you're up. Okay. How close can I get to the? We'll get you up to there. Shit, oh shit. Uh-oh. Oh shit. We're going shit.

It's all good, I'll deal with it in a minute. Oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit. Well, I would like to rage. Yeah! Get that fired up. Yasha goes into her raging, your vision goes faintly dark red

as you begin to focus your frustration towards these creatures. What do you do? I mean, I can't move anymore, so. You can use your action to move if you want to. Oh yeah, yes. So at least it'll get you into the ray. As close as you can get there.

Yep. All righty. All right, that's my turn. That's your turn. Caleb, you're up. Yeah, I think that I see one of the giant gators is getting close to Nott and also Yasha, so I'm going to tug really hard on the glove of blasting and revolve around my wrist three times

and do Scorching Ray. At this moment, what are you talking about? So roll three attacks on it, right? Edgerbation. Say again? Three attacks and an advantage against the target, correct? Correct. Yeah, so.

First one is a 17. That hits. Okay, second one is a natural 20. Nice! Third one is a 17, so they all hit. They all hit. Okay. Second set of rolls is doubled. Yeah, so they all hit. They all hit. Yay! Second set of rolls is doubled.

Yeah, so here we go. Two, four bolts, four places, 10, and then, ah, dang it, that's 12, and then 10, and a total of 21 fire damage. Nice, that's not bad at all. Looking at the distance, you tug in the glove and release as the three bolts arc out and slam into the rather broad side of this reptilian creature,

this large crocodile that's now. Is that the one that is? Blinded. Okay. Yeah, and then I will just keep wading through the shit to try to get a little bit closer. Okay, so using that to get to about there. And just say, hey, Fjord, isn't this fun? And that's it.

All right, ending Caleb's turn, Nott, you're up. Because that gator, crocodile, whatever it is, is blind, does that mean it counts as sneak attack? Yep. Okay, then I will bolt, bolt, bolt! Go for it. Three attacks. They all hit.

19, 15, 13 plus things. But what if you get a natural 20 and roll again? Yes, roll again. Okay, so you get 20s. I'll roll again, sure. Oh, he did! You got a natural 20. One of them is a natural 20.

Yeah! You got to roll them in order, though, because you don't know if the one that got sneak attack is. You have to declare that when it happens. They all get sneak attack. Well, you only get sneak attack once per round. Sneak attack per round. Oh, okay, got it.

Well, it was the second one. The second one got crit. Yes. Right, so the first one would've been sneak attack, probably how you would've done it. So the first strike is 17 plus four, 21, plus I'll use Freeride the Small, making it 26.

Boy. How often do you get to add that? Just once a day. That's cool. And then second, it does not get sneak attack. Right, but it is doubled. Even though it's at disadvantage. Sneak attack, you only get once per turn.

Not per round, per turn. So you can still get it on a reaction. You can sneak an extra one in. That's rare. Six, but that's doubled. Whatever you rolled on the dice doubled. Four, so eight. Eight points of damage.

And then one more. Oh my god. Fucking rogue. That's ten. Ten points of damage. That's nice. Fucking massive. Yes. This poor gator turned around, went blind,

got shot multiple times, blasted with fiery beams. Still can't stop thinking about Mollymauk, though. I know, she's so focused on it. It's all his fault. All righty, that ends your turn. I'm going to move behind that rock over there. Over here? All right. Ah, ah, ah!

Ah! All righty, that ends your turn. It is now araak's turn. Oh god. 20 actually climbs up the rock after you. Oh my god, it's so big! Then takes a swipe down at you. Plus two on your AC.

That is plus, it's 23 to hit. Damn it! That's true. So with that, 3d10 plus five. Double the attack. 3d10 plus five. Yeah, if it's a large set of jaws. Oh my god.

I'm going to be using Uncanny Dodge for the first time. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 21 points of piercing damage. Halved. Halved. So you. 21 points of piercing damage. Halved. Halved, so you take 10 points of piercing damage. But you are grappled as the giant jaws slam into you and hold you in place. You're unable to escape at that point.

We're both reptiles, man! Come on, be cool! Are Golem's reptiles? I don't know, I'm just, maybe he's dumb. See, now I'm just getting Little Mermaid vibes, though. From that gator. Up where they walk, up where they run. Shh, shh, shh. This guy's going to move forward towards you, Yasha.

It's going to take a swing with its tail towards you as it's flailing about, hearing noise in that direction. So it's disadvantage against you. That's 22 and 12. So that misses in the first attack as its tail goes wide. It turns around and snaps its jaws towards the tree. It scrapes off the side of the tree

and swings in your direction as it attempts to bite towards you. That's going to be a 14. What's your armor class? Just hits. 14 is your armor class, that's right. All right, so yeah, the jaws slam onto you. You suffer. There's a gator!

18 points of piercing damage, but because you're raging, that's reduced to nine. So you have nine points of piercing damage, but you are grappled and restrained currently, as you are now trapped in its jaws. You watch as Nott is now just like, her hands are dangling out of its toothy jaws like toothy jaws that swing her in the air. Yasha has lifted up her feet and is currently trying

to pry the jaws open off of her body, but is unable to do so. All right, death saving throw for Preacher, that's a failure. All righty, Fjord, you're up. Yeah. Nott's all failure. All righty, Fjord, you're up. Yeah. Knots all caught up. I say, crap fire and two more bursts of Eldritch Blast.

The gator holding Nott. Holding Nott, go for it. That'll hit, that's 23. That'll do. And the second one, that'll hit, too. That's a natural 17. You got it. Okay, great. So, and. And the second one, that'll hit two, that's a natural 17. You got it. Okay, great.

So, and that's four, eight, 12 points of damage on the first one. Great. And six points of damage on the second one, so 18 total. Nice. As you release the two bolts, they manage to just peek around the tree,

see it like clamming, or grasping Nott in its jaws and swinging back and forth. One hits the bottom of the jaw, and the other hits its side. You see this little splatter of dark crimson alligator blood from the two impacts, but it's still holding taut to this tiny little morsel it has in its jaws. I'll use my pathetic speed to try and match Caleb.

All right, want to move Caleb up for me? Somebody? Caleb or? Sorry, I'm sorry, forward to Caleb. Yeah, this is so much fun. I'm glad we are helping this random ass penguin. I am. At least you guys have range.

All right, that means it's the top again, Molly and Beau. Do you want to go first, or? Sure. Thank you. Can I get to this guy who's got Nott? Yep. Okay, I'm going to parkour off of her. That is a 16 on the saving throw for the blind alligator, or crocodile,

so it does resist the blindness. Its vision comes back. However, I fucked it up for a round. Beau. I'm going to do a parkour off of the rock and come down and try and get it right in its mouth to try and get it to spit out Nott. So the first attack, that's good, that's 21.

21 hits. That's better, that's 21. 21 hits. That's better, that's 22. That hits. Those are the first two hits. The two strikes with the staff. Pop, pop, spit it out! Both of those are the same, which is eight, seven, seven. Seven damage each, so 14.

Eight, six, seven, eight. Four, five, six, seven, yes. Cool, so it's 14 points of damage with two strikes. Uh-huh, and then I go. Just slamming into the side of its heavy, thick, scaled hide. It's hurting, but it's definitely a resistant beast. I'm going to go ahead and spend a ki point now to do two more. Flurry of Blows?

Flurry of Blows. Go for it. So you pull the staff behind and they go to a punch and a dropkick on it. That's an 18, they just keep getting better. There you go, that hits. And that one's not great, that dropkick. That's an 18, they just keep getting better. There you go, that hits. That one's not great, that's worse. That's a 12. 12 misses, unfortunately, but you do get one punch.

One punch off. After slinging it twice, you go for the softer part and whack! You know what, I rolled the wrong damage die for those first two, but that's my fault. Six damage. I rolled d6s instead of d8s. Gotcha. Well, there you go. So that gator got lucky.

Why don't you just take off the damage you did and reroll his eight? Because that's how the cookie crumbles. Moving on, it's fine. It's okay, still a fair amount of damage. All right, so Molly, what are you doing? With my running speed, how close can I get and still have an action? That's it? That's as far as I can get without an action? We are. Unfortunately, you guys are running through a swamp

behind who engaged it, so it's an unfortunate circumstance. Okay, at the very least, then, I'm going to. Fortune favors the bold in this case. Yep, I'm going to, since I still have some distance, I'm going to try some Vicious Mockery just to see if that does anything. So the one... Please Schwarzenegger it with your luggage.

I'm curious what that's going to sound like. I'll hit the Vicious Mockery on the one that currently has not, just because. Sure. That is a natural 19. Yeah, nope. Oh fuck. Sorry, man. A swamp bug goes into your throat

as you're trying to speak it, and you're going to get to cough it out for a second. All right, that finishes Molly's run. Jester, you're up. Okay, I'm going to, oh gosh. Okay, I'm going to Invoke Duplicity as my action. All right. And I'm going to pop my little person down

right behind the other side of the gator that Yasha's fighting. Yes. All right. And then for my bonus action, I'm going to cast Healing Word on the little bird creature. Okay, so go ahead and roll the heal on that one. So that's one plus four.

So then rage. That's six. Six points of heals. You watch as something, its yellow eye flickers and looks around for a second, kind of in the space, and begins to push against the slickness and. My invoked gesture turns around and thumbs up. He looks at it.

He begins to try and pull its way back out of the bog. You see it's getting stuck and sliding in, but it's trying to pull itself backward. All right, that's your turn, Jester. That's all I can do. Yasha, you're up. Okay, so I'm in the jaws? Gator's jaws. You are restrained. You can still attack it, but you're at disadvantage in all your attacks.

Okay, I will try to attack. So, Divine Fury. You're correct. And if I do Reckless, does that mean this actually brings us to one? If you do Reckless, it'll just become regular attacks. Okay, I'll just do that. All right, so make your two strikes.

Okay. First one with Divine Fury as you swing down towards the top of its jaws with your blade. That's a natural one. Oh! As you go to swing, the jaws tense against you. It hurts, your muscles tense from the pain, but you just stay focused going for your second strike.

Okay. Sorry, hold on. Oh wait, no, I'm doing this one. 17. 17 does hit, hold on. Okay, no, I'm doing this one. 17. 17 does hit, roll damage. This still gets Divine Fury, though, because it's the first strike that you hit with. Okay, so let's go with

two, three. I believe that's how it works. Man, this is exciting. Okay, so eight. That's not annoying. One. 18. 18 points of damage.

How do you want to do that? Oh! Okay. You guys have been just plugging everything into this one crock since the beginning of the battle. Am I actually just able to, if I have my hand on his jaws, just pull him apart? Yeah, you can, because you're inside of it. Oh, the jaw.

Just stand? So as you pull yourself, you pull the jaws open and step out of it, getting your feet in the ground, as you yank apart, you put your leg up into it. You feel the jaw pop. It falls back for a moment, its jaw now limp, and its tongue lolling out to one side. You have your blade and you do the finishing blow.

Only thing that's described to me is the finishing blow. Oh, finishing blow. It's breaking its jaws and going to kill it, so how do you kill it? Okay, so I'll just cut into his, try to chop off the head as much as I can. Okay, so after breaking the jaw, you step out, pull the blade from behind you, and with a wide swipe,

almost like an anti-calvary blow, you just cut through the side of its throat and its neck. It doesn't get all the way through, but it cuts enough through the spine where it just falls to the ground, this long, heavy, limp piece of luggage. We'll leave that there for its size, though. Okay.

All right. There's a new shirt in town. You want to stay where you are? You want to move? You've been released from his jaw, so. Yeah, can I move towards the back of the other one? So in front of Jester,

in between the Kruk and Jester. That's as far as you can get. Perfect. Yeah, perfect. Okay, that ends your turn. Yasha's finished, Caleb, you're up. Yeah, it seems like I am, can I get within 30 feet of it? No, correct.

I would think probably not. Moving your speed will get you right up to the edge there. So it's just out of 30 feet. Just out of 30 feet. Yeah. Sorry. I'm going to cast Magic Missile at level three. All right.

Because it's got my little friend. So that's five missiles? That is five missiles total, so here we go. Trudging through the swamp, cast the spell, and then release the five missiles. All impacting at once. Whoa, nice. once. Nice. Nice.

Natural 20, I'd guess. Yeah. Broken clock. That was awesome. Total of 18, so. Nice. Along the side of it, it's still holding Nott in its mouth and Nott's muffled screaming

from inside of its jaws, its swinging her back and forth. It seems singularly focused on destroying whatever it has its mouth on. It's a beast. That finishes your turn, Caleb? Disappointed! Nott, it's your turn. Oh gosh, Nott.

I use my first action to try to resist the grapple and escape. All right, so I need you to go ahead and to contest it. All right, so an escape DC of 16. So it's athletics or acrobatics, your choice. Whatever. Acrobatics. Yes, whatever's, yes, acrobatics. All right, so make a check.

18. 18 is enough. Oh! Yes! You manage to just squeeze out of its jaws and land back on the ground when you are, slipping out of a brief moment of its opening and get those blood streak down. You can feel the pain from the teeth that have been digging into your body. Is it engaged with Beau? Can I get a sneak attack on it?

It would, yeah. Okay, great. I will shoot it in the face. Ooh, not great. 12. 12 misses. You pull out, and from being shaken around, you're a bit dizzy, and the pain swelters in your body, and as you go to fire, it ricochets off of its hide. Is he flanked with Yasha? Right now? Oh? What does that mean?

Advantage. You would get advantage? Technically, yes, actually. Roll again. Ooh. Good man. 17. 17 does hit.

Oh wow. Okay, that's a hit. No, they're all bad. Oh. wow. Okay, that's a hit. No, they're all bad. Oh. Yeah! 12. 12 points of damage, sneak attack, all righty. So you have the first strike, hits underneath the throat,

slips into a piece of its already open, cracked, heavy hide, and it pulls back. If that was one side of the sword, I'll go for the other side. All right, go for it. Yes, queen. Oh, terrible, 11. No queen.

You still get advantage because he's blind. She breaks and she shaves off of it. Still advantage, or that's just once a turn? No, that's advantage. It's advantage on every strike. Oh, wow, okay. That hits, that's an 18. That's better, all right, roll damage for that one.

This roller coaster is the motions. It's like the Simpsons Froggert scene. I know. Five more points of damage. Five more points of damage. Five more points of damage. Question, would this trigger my reaction for Sentinel? No, because it's not attacking anything that's outside of you.

But it might in a second, because I'm going to run behind that tree. Okay, okay, okay. That's good enough. Oh, this is Nott's turn. Correct. Sorry. No worries. I'm going to get away,

get away as fast and as far as I can. Away from over here? Sure, yeah, any way you think. Don't see me. That's as far as you can get right there. It does try to snatch its jaws towards you in the process. It's a natural 20. Oh!

That hits. Uh. That's what it does. Oh! That hits. Goddamn it. Roll it and be proud. That's eight, nine, and five. I will use my 17, 23. Oh, you get Uncanny Dodge again? 28 points of piercing damage. Can I use Uncanny Dodge again?

Use it once per round, yeah. Yeah, Uncanny Dodge to make it 14. All right, so 14 points of piercing damage. Can I use Uncanny Dodge again? Use it once per round, yeah. Yeah, Uncanny Dodge to make it 14. All right, so 14 points of piercing damage. However, you are grappled and it's Josh. Again? I just got out! I know, but as you try and break away, you run, we're talking like Deep Blue Sea, you know, Samuel L. Jackson, as you run away

and then Josh just grab and pull you back and you're just being held over and stricken again. Now do I get that opportunity attack? Now you do, yes. Just when I think I'm out, they pull me back in! As it strikes out and grapples Nott in the jaws, you do manage to get one swing at it. I whack it right in the nose,

because that's what I was taught with bears. Good shards. Bears. No! Sharks and bears. A lot of sharks in Kimorda, it's a thing. In the nose. Oh shit! Roll some damage on that. Be good. Be high. Okay, okay. 12's good, it's good. 12 damage?

Sure. 12 points of damage, all right. So as he goes like, you hit it right across the snout. And upon the impact, its eyes go dazed for a second, but it just continues to chew. Still standing. Oh god. That finishes Nott's turn?

All right. With that, the one standing croc is going to go ahead and drop Nott out of its jaws. Oh, that's nice of him. And attempt to bite again. No! Curse of the Isle is amplified. Oh, say it again.

Curse of the Isle is amplified. Oh, good one. Actually, before it bites, it's going to swing with its tail. It's going to spin around and attempt to slam you with its tail. So there's disadvantage on that strike. That's cocked again. Disadvantage.

Even with disadvantage, it's a 20. Yeah, that hits. So the tail hits you. That's 2d. No, no, no, same on UDM, no, no. That's one, not this one. That's an 18 points of bl a six, 17. No, no. That's an 18 points of bludgeoning damage. Out!

All right. If you are not prone, it's going to go ahead and try and bite you. That's what it was doing on its turn. Disadvantage. I know, but it has advantage on a prone creature. So it's even. Just a regular roll. Just a regular roll.

Regular roll! That's a 17 to hit, what's your armor cost? It's 18 now. Yes! Because of the haste, but I don't know, I'm dead. Do I have haste if I'm uncomfortable? But he's the one holding, he's on the cast. But does an unruining body

ease the fuck out? I'm going to make a quick call here. You're calling someone? You're calling Jeremy Crawford. I'm calling Jeremy Craw a quick call here. You're calling someone? You're calling Jeremy Crawford. Calling Jeremy Crawford to get confirmation. I'm going to escape a friend. But in this case, the friend is Nicky Stewart. Yeah.

Hey, Chris Perkins? Would you like to phone a WotC friend? Yeah. If you were just prone, you would still have it. So it's, the spell is still active. Matthew Mercer. No, I think the spell is still active. Matthew Moesser. I know, it's a thing, the spell is active. How do you want to do this?

The spell is active because it makes you faster. It's still active by rules as written, I guess. Maybe she's vibrating on the ground. Yeah, that's possible. Like when a pager goes off? Yeah. Yeah, spells, and then they say they didn't. Woo!

This feels wrong. No, no. Just do it, I'll take it. I'll take it. You don't want to. You don't want to take it. You don't want to take it. Well, hold on, hold on. Yeah, yes.

Oh no, hold on. I got my good friends to save me. Hold on. I'm checking something. Looking at the Great Wall. Conscious. You barely reference this to Great Wall. Barely references to Great Wall? Really references the Great Wall.

No, that's a 17 still, so with the haste bonus, that would still miss, yeah. So here's what happens. As you fall unconscious, as you fall unconscious, your form is just blurring slightly from the impact, and as you tumble and it goes to strike and bite you, you're tumbling backward at such a speed,

still the effect of the spell carrying you, that you fall out of the grasp of its jaws as you spin and spill out of its mouth as the teeth clamp, plummeting to the ground, not taking a critical hit and immediately failing two death saving throws. Good narration, DM. Good narration.

I even die fast. Yeah, this is low level. That wouldn't really be much bringing you back. That'd be the end of it. I have a revivify. Do you have any 300 gold diamonds? Oh. I have lots of rings.

Do any of them have diamonds in them? Not worth 300 gold. How dare you? I'm just saying, you got to buy your spell components. She's a terrible cleric. No. I've never terrible cleric. No. I've never done this before. Laura, so yeah, components that cost money,

you have to purchase, like his diamond and his incense. Do you have a diamond that's worth 300 gold? It's worth 100, which is what I need for my spell, yeah. That's three. Don't die, anyone, don't die. I thought they could bring you back. Why do I have that stupid spell prepared that I can't even use it?

Damn it. That's a good question. Go find the diamonds. It's the Chalice Dilemma. Yeah. Heroes feast with the chalices. It'll work eventually. Well, that finishes the Crocs' turn.

I have a medicine kit. As the haste spell snatches Nott from the jaws of almost imminent death, Fjord, you're up. All right, so I fucking see Nott just fucking ragdolling all over the place. I'll use the rest of my speed to get as close as I can. That gets you up onto the battlefield there. Does that put me within 30 feet of that croc? It puts you within 35 feet. It's just in the 30-foot range.

I'm 35 feet away? Yeah. Oh, 30-foot range. I'm 35 feet away? Yeah. Oh, fuck me. Ain't you got no long range? I do, I just wanted to do a little witch bolt. Two more Eldritch Blasts going at it. Go for it, roll for the attacks. That is 16 to hit.

16 hits. Oh great, I thought I missed. And that's not going to do it, that's 13. 13 just misses. That's 10 plus four for 14 points of damage. How do you want to do this? Yay! Look at you!

I'll look at that nice piece of luggage and I'll say, Not today! I just failed two death saves from that pun. He literally marked it off. It's good that you're laughing. All righty, and with that, as both of the impacts, the Elrish Blasts hit it, it's still up on the rock after snatching its jaw in the air and missing Nott.

As it tumbles out of it, the head comes down and turns towards you. As its jaws open, both up into the throat, you watch as the back of its head bursts behind it, its eyes go dull before it slumps over the rock and slowly slides into the edge of the swamp nearby. You got the kill? You were barely in the fight! No, he totally came, he's good, he's a hero!

Can I use my gesture, my duplicate to run over to Nott? She can move 30 feet. She can, yeah. And it wouldn't be encumbered, because. She's an illusion. Yeah. Correct. So here, in this instance, the illusion would not, I don't think, would be affected by the rough terrain. Wonderful, I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on you.

Aw. Yeah. There you go. Wait six seconds for a third take. The lowest level possible. A second level. Okay. Well, we're about to get to rest, so it just seems stupid, too.

No, that's a compliment. Five plus four. So nine points you get. Is it, no, it would be plus four plus four. No, it's 2d8 plus four. Correct. Okay, yeah. At second level, right? Yeah. Yeah. So that heals you up there, you come to consciousness, Nott.

That was scary. I should not have been this close. Yeah. Where were you? I was doing everything up there! I'm up to my fucking knees in this planmire, all right? It's a slop dolly of epic proportions. You should have struck forward.

A slop dolly? Can I jump down and walk over to the little bird creature? Fucking Kentucky knows what I'm talking about. What's a slop dolly? We're in it. You guys! You guys take a moment, finish yelling at each other.

You watch as Jester has jumped down from the tree, calls your attention, and there, still struggling in the marsh, you see the small, black feathered bird creature, and we're going to take a break. Because it's 914, so let's take a quick break. We'll pick up right at that moment, in just a few moments. I'm going to go ahead and sit down, because I'm going to be there right now.

So we'll be back here in just a moment, guys. We do have our one-word giveaway for the evening. We have, was it Calimantan Ebony, tabletop dice tray. This is the pretty, pretty awesome dark wood with the leather in it. Like my soul. This one is gorgeous.

So that one is going to be there for one of our winners during the break. For those of you who are in the U.S. and Canada except for Quebec, you can go ahead and enter this over the break by coming into the Twitch chat and entering the word MARSH. We'll only enter it once. More than once, you'll be disqualified, and we'll come back with a winner as soon as we return. See you guys in just a minute oh hey there laura bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories our stores are filled with the basics like character inspired t-shirts dice sets and pins as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork the comfiest joggers and pajamas ever, and much, much more.

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from the break, AK Presto. AK Presto, congratulations. You won the awesome, awesome wood full game dice tray from Wyrmwood. We'll give that to you ASAP. Thank you for coming in. Everybody else, who jumped into the chat? Yeah. So.

Smells a little like tuna, and that's not me, though. That's disgusting. Ew! Out of context quotes. I'm telling you. That's really foul. Out of contact quotes. Guys. Like Hawaiian macadam salad. Oh, sorry, Matt.

Is there something you'd like to discuss with the table? Yeah. So. The purple worm erupts from the middle of the swamp. Don't tempt me. So as you guys all take a moment, kind of tend to your exhaustion from plunging into this swamp haphazardly.

Some of you taking quite a beating in the process. Jester guides your attention towards this now struggling small bird creature. It looks to be about the size of an adolescent child. Maybe no more than, I'd say a little younger than them, like an eight or nine year old. But you see, instead of skin, it's just black feathers.

No wings, really, the feathers are too small among the arm to actually be flight ready. The lower half of its body is still sunken and thick in the bog, and it has, where its face is, two bright yellow eyes, very crow, raven-like eyes, and a long black black, pointed beak. They just. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.

I can help you. Give me your hands. And I lift it up out. Make a strength check. Arms out of sockets. Ooh. Caleb is watching this. No, 20. 20. With just watching the rest. No, 20.

20. With just a few moments, though, your legs sink in a bit, you manage to pull and find leverage and grab onto some of the heavy vines on the side, and you manage to pull this creature out from the bog until eventually it gets legs free, and as it pulls its way up to the top, it begins to shrug off the thick bog slop

that was keeping it stuck there in the center of the opening. It is a bird person. Right? Can you understand us? Oh. Oh my gosh. Do you live around here?

Do you live around here? Oh. It's like a bug. Mockingjay. What is your name? You? It's like a bug. Whoa. Marking J. What is your name? Vrat, Vrat, Vrat. Oh, maybe it was separated from its parents or something. Maybe, are you an adult or are you a kid?

A kid. A kid. I love you. I could, it would take an hour, but I could understand this one if I set my mind to it. You could get a rest. Where do you live? He points his still somewhat soggy, feathered arm to the east.

Close by? How did you get here? Looks towards you and starts walking up towards you. Pulls open your coat. Starts rummaging through, pulls one of the books. Oh, well, no, pulls one of the books. Oh, well, no, no, please, no. Please, no. Please, no.

Oh! I'm going to pull my coat shut. Maybe you should learn how to speak to him. Maybe he wants some paper. Where's your book? Oh, can he write? Maybe he can write. Oh, does he want to draw?

I think. I pull out my journal. I've got a theory. Maybe he only repeats what we say. And begins to write into the book. And shows it to you and says, thank you. Oh, you're welcome so much. How old are you, what's your name? It says four, the number four.

Her name is Kiri. Kiri. Kiri. Kiri. Kiri, you're four years old? That's so wonderful. What were you doing here? What is this place?

And begins writing out an extended statement in the paper. It's up to you, and it says, Family going west, traveling, escaping east mountains. Skies go dark there. Father said the valley folk fighting. The family going west, traveling, escaping east mountains. Skies go dark there. Father said the valley folk fighting. They are, there's a big fight going on.

Where's Yarn? How far have you traveled? And do you recognize people that look like her? Where's your family now? Oh no, no, no, no, no. Are your mama and dad okay? No? You don't know where they went?

How did you get separated? Negan's writing another small essay. We should keep an eye out to make sure no more of those things come out while we're, okay. Make a perception check. One of you take it with advantage. That seems adamant. I can't be good.

I know. Wait, we both roll, but. Well, if one of you is aiding the others. Unless you want to make two separate rolls, it's up to you. Let's do two separate rolls. All right make two separate rolls, it's up to you. Let's do two separate rolls. All right, two separate rolls, go for it. Yeah, that's good, that's good. 14.

16. Okay, you guys are keeping an eye out in the space around you. I'm going to peruse these ruins a little bit and see what they are and what they look like. Make an investigation check. All right. Finishes writing and shows it over, and it says,

Swamp was to hide us. Swamp folk saw us, so we ran to not be taken. I wasn't watching and the bog caught me. Family couldn't pull free. Couldn't risk sisters or selves, so kept going. Oh no! Stuck here for a while. Not their fault.

Don't want them to die for my carelessness. Closes the book. We've got to get into his family. Do you know where they are heading? Oh, I don't know. Are you a boy bird? A boy bird or a girl bird or just a bird bird? A word bird.

Girl. Girl bird. Kiri. Oh no, how many sisters do you have? Puts up four fingers. Long, exaggerated, feathered fingertips. What I recognize? What species or race of people? You haven't encountered these people before.

Empire kids wouldn't know. Empire kids wouldn't know. No studied thing. You've heard of varying different strange races out there. Bird people may have crossed in a story before, but you've done a little bit of story. I'd say go ahead and make a nature check for you, Caleb, since you've studied this area, just general knowledge.

I've never seen them before. Natural 20. Natural 20. Kenku. Kenku, yes, you know. They're usually very removed. And location-wise, they usually exist on the far outskirts of the Empire, if anywhere. They have small family units that live on their own. There isn't so much of a Kenku culture they belong to.

They're just small little groups that look out for themselves. And ravens, they're able to mimic many, many sounds. As part of their history, and you rolled a natural 20, so you know quite a bit, you would say that something in their lineage, there was a curse involved, something based around the time of their creation

where their ability to converse was taken from them. Okay, I mutter that to the group. Oh man. Well. Ciri, have you happened to see a safe house or a building or a structure around while you were fleeing? Where did you see the swamp people that you were talking about? She points in a northeastern direction.

Okay. that you were talking about. She points in a northeastern direction. Northeastern. Okay. But your family went the other way, to the west? The way we came from. I mean, we could always give her a horse. Horse again. Writes on the page, spins it around, and says, nowhere to go.

Can I come with you? Are you able to handle yourself in a scrap? Are you good with a weapon, or? She's four. Well, you're how old? I don't really know, but I'm twice her age, at least. She's got really good penmanship, so I don't think she's four like human four.

Most four-year-olds can't ride like that. That's true. Where we're going is a bit dangerous, but we should warn you. To my question, though, are you able to handle yourself in a dangerous moment in any way? He looks back at the bog and goes,

Oh! A monk. Here's some. Good. Here's some. What? Here's some. Maybe we can keep her in the cart or something. At the very least. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If she stays with us at least until tomorrow, then maybe I can send a message to your family and let them know you're okay. I'm okay. Right. I reach behind my belt and I pull out a dagger and twirl it into my belt and I pull out a dagger and twirl it into my finger and hand it,

held towards Gary. Careful, it's sharp. It's sharp. Sweet. This is kind of creepy, man. Do you have any more, like, pocket bacon? Are you hungry? I have a pouch of things that this one might like.

Ooh, yeah, you got oats. I have dried corn and oats and things. Would you peck on these? Holding the dagger, just going towards Fjord, just like pecking out of your hand. Okay. Ow, ow, ow. I have some pastries, too, if you like some sweets.

I know. Caleb, you got a second. It turns to you as well. It takes a. Many seconds, what do you need? Take a look at this, do these mean anything to you? Just looking at the stone structures that are... You rolled an investigation check?

I rolled eight. Eight? It's like a stone. It looks like it's very old and has long fallen over and just been reabsorbed mostly by the swamp. It doesn't look like it was a large structure. It might have been a small, brief gatehouse off the path, some sort of a watch post that had just long fallen over. Pulled me over, what do I make of the same?

Make an investigation check. That is a 25. 25. Looking through it and making out the layout of it, it was definitely a posthouse for the, probably Beryl Ben when it was first made. The stones look well over 100 years old, and have long been reclaimed by the roots

and vines of the swamp. Nothing special beyond that, really. Just an abandoned post. It just looks like a bunch of old crap, to be honest. Oh, that's disappointing. Kick it. Let me just hold this dagger for just a moment. Hard grip on it.

I'll give it back. I'll give it back. I'll give it back. I just want to test something. It's okay, Caleb. Okay, can you, we're just going to, you know, test your reflexes here, okay? No, no, no, no, just. Got nine hit points.

Hit, you know, a little sparring. Punch here, hit here. Can you, you, you, nah! You, foof! I'm going to pass Cure Wounds on her before she does this. Okay. I just want to see before we give a dagger to a child.

Natural 20. Oh, that's a hand? To attack a hand? Yeah. Okay. So you take two points of damage. Oh! You're actually like, ugh! A natural 20, got two points of damage. Yeah, on arm strength.

I don't know if she needs a dagger, but here you go, child. There you go. Whoa! Yep, there we go. Help! Okay. Careful. We're going to die first. Should we cut open these giant gators

and see what they have in their bellies? Let's see if we can cut them and keep some of this leather. I bet it's worth a little bit of money. Also, they're tail meat hidden in the belly. Are you guys being to carve through the two crocodiles? Yeah, we're going to check the guts and we're going to keep the leather. You let it work.

Yeah, whoever's helming that, go ahead and make a, let's say, let's say a medicine check to understand which parts of the body of it are probably the most delicate. I should probably do that, yeah. Oh yeah. To try and open it without. Okay.

Choose your weapon. The grain. it without. Again. Choose your weapon. The grain. Still good. Ten. Okay. It'll take you the better part of the day to carve off enough of the hide to really be useful for trading. So that'll put you a problem.

It's a long process, these are big creatures. So you begin to carve off some of its hide. None of you are experienced tanners, so it's a lot of trial and error and a lot of sections of it tearing off prematurely, and it's a very messy process. Jester is hand to elbow, just covered in blood. Is there anything fun in the guts? If you check in his stomach,

you find a lot of bones, you find a lot of partially digested meat, and a lot of black feathers. Oh! Did Jester spend hours doing that? A while, yeah. If she did, then Caleb would have spent an hour to cast Comprehend Languages as a ritual spell

to talk to her full on. Can I take a short rest then to get my key points back? Sure. Okay. I realized that this was, would I be able to tell from my medicine history that this is bird people? It looks to be, yeah. Like, couldn't you tell from the bones

it's a lot of bird people? It's like a handful. Oh no. That's his kid's parents. Oh. Oh, come on! Or just a- And probably the rest of the family, too. And cousins.

He might be the only one if she wants to. I'm going to walk Keri away from this for the moment and say, after an hour has passed of me doing this ritual spell, for the moment, I can understand you as clearly as you can understand me. Do you want to tell me anything about your time in this swamp, or what you want to do with yourself

now that you are alone, or how we can best help you, or anything you want to tell me? I don't know, I just want to get back to my family. Okay. Well. In the meantime, while we are looking for them, is there anything that we can do for you? Or is there anything that you can tell me about your last days here?

There's an interesting point here. Let me just check something real fast. This is, yeah, this is going to be a point. Can it work? Can it? Yeah, like Rorschach tests this. Can they talk to each other? Hey, you can get the note.

I mean, their hoots and whistles are some form of language, aren't they? Well, he said that they were cursed and they lost their ability. That's an interesting point. After casting the spell, there's no language to understand. It's only through mimicry. Got it. So you manage to get the gist of that initial statement through just talking with it for a while,

but the spell has no effect. Cool. Interesting. There is no spoken language. Should we tell her? Caleb is flummoxed. We don't know that these feathers are her parents. Looking through with your medicine check, it looks like there's only three. Three. Between the two of them.

There's three bodies. Were they big bones or little bones? They look to be little. The sisters. Parents are alive. Then they're really sad, and they'll be happy that one of their children. What good would it do?

I don't think we need to tell her. Yeah, no, we won't tell her that. I was afraid it was her parents, but if we can let her parents know that she's okay, then at least. You said you could send a message? Yeah, well, so the Traveler's been teaching me some stuff. Okay.

And I was asking him the other night about how I could thank my mama and stuff like that, so he taught me a little bit of how to send messages across distances. Wow! And so you, but don't you need to know who you're telling it to or something? I don't know, I think if it's familiar enough,

then I can send it, so maybe if she describes them, I could do it. I haven't ever tried it. We should try it now. I need to send it to, well, I have to prepare it. Oh. Let's haul this all back onto the cart and get on our way and see where we get.

I mean, her parents just left her, you know? We shouldn't go fighting with her. There were three other kids, you know? What do you propose we do? I don't know. Blood all over my head. We gave her a dagger, point her in the right direction

that her parents are going. I can't leave the leader. Other swamp things will kill it. Well, if she comes with us, then we'll kill her. I don't think so. What's her size? Standing, full height, maybe about 3 1⁄2 feet. Unless we can drop her off at the nearest town.

When we hit a town, we'll drop her off. Pick her up out of the bog. Would she be welcome? Would she be welcome in a town? She'd be welcome anywhere. Exactly. DM, you said three or four or five hours for Jester to do all that gator carving before?

To do all the, to actually harvest the actual armored hide, it'll get you pretty close to dusk. Oh, and that's what you did? I don't know. Then I used Arcane Recovery, that's all I wanted to ask if I had time for that. Oh no, guys, I mean, we've seen how people react to Nott around here.

What if we drag her in front of some crazy locals and they? All of these are great points, but I'm waiting for another idea. Well, I think that we should do what we have done well so far, which is to improvise. It is better to bring her with us than leave her, and then if we find an advantageous place to leave her, then we will, but for the time being, she is a sidekick.

Sidekick. Fair chance is better than none. It's also possibly someone to watch the cart while we do our business. Plus, in the morning, I can send a message to your mama and dad. Mom and dad. Right, and maybe we can gift you a horse,

and then you can go find them. We should get back to the cart and at least try and make our way into some dry area. Let's see if we can find somewhere safe. I'll carry this leather to the cart. I'll carry this leather to the cart. She goes and helps you start lifting the carved stuff, but barely at all.

Right. I love her, I love her. She's the best. She's the best. Welcome to the Mighty Nein. Hey! Walks right up to you, like face. I just give her a kiss. She's just so cute, you know?

I know, she really is. You're back in trouble, she's so cute. And goes back to helping Jester. All right, to the cart, then. Do you know cats? Do you like cats, do you know cats? Birds don't like cats. Cats don't like birds. Sorry, cats don't like birds?

Do you know, do you like cats? I don't know. Into her hands. And Frumpkin starts to purr and nuzzle. He's just spellbound by this moment of a cat appearing in their hands. Yep, I ask Frumpkin to do a blep. A blep.

And to lick her face. Yep, I ask Frumpkin to do a blep. A blep. And to lick her face. Dog and cat. Throws the cat down, seemingly weirded out by the moment, doesn't quite know how to react. Frumpkin starts chittering. He's friendly, that is my cat. But if you want to spend some time with him, you can. He's very soothing, for me, anyway.

Give it a shot. Picks up Frumpkin and runs towards the cart as you guys get there and Kiri jumps up into the cart and turns around at us and goes, Welcome to the Mighty Nein! And starts petting Frumpkin. I love her so much!

She's the best of us! She's the best of us. Well, this is never going to get irritating. Let's get on our way. Can I insight check her? Sure, make an insight check. God, my insight's so bad. It's going to make it even better.

12. 12. It's a bird person. I am a bird person. I am a bird person, not that kind of bird person, but. Don't trust her. We don't trust her. I think it's weird. I would just like to point out,

if we pick up one more stray, there will actually be nine of us. That can't happen. That will not, we will not have that. With Frumpkin. Then we wouldn't be ironic anymore. Cling to our irony. That's true.

Are we cheeky or are we serious? That'll totally change our entire disposition of our irony. That's true. Are we cheeky or are we serious? That'll totally change our entire disposition of our group. I think it could be both. All right. Seriously cheeky. Cheekingly serious. Let's put a cloak over her, since she looks a little less like a bird.

I've got a little, I've got some clothing that would fit her, you know? My clothing. Can just give you my cape and stuff. Thank you. But now you don't have a cloak on. I'll take off my cloak and put it on Nott. I can't move.

But it's a short cloak, it's a little long, don't worry. It's a nice flannel. I'm going to want it back. Right now? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, now I'm colder than that. Caleb takes off his cloak and puts it on Jester. I never wear a cloak, and we're not in the city.

No, it's okay, I'm actually really warm right now. I don't need anything. Yeah, it's definitely like 85 degrees. We're all sharing cloaks for no reason. It's not 85 degrees, it's still cold. It's pretty chilly, it's like mid-60s. I put it back on Caleb and tuck him in. Sorry, it's a humid 60 degrees.

It feels warmer than it is because of the moisture in the air, but it's not warm. Look, you guys, we are trying to make it work. Let's head out. Yeah, Molly and I take the lead on the horses. All these bloody people. The village of people. He points up in front of the road, that direction.

We should go that direction. Wait, that's the way that we go to find our... So we can locate for Bromkilde. Okay, let's go. All right. Off we go. So following the Bromkiln byway, your vision pierces the dense tangle of trees and vines to see the distant glow of lanterns

just as the sun sets and the evening sky grows dark. Closer still, you make up a strange mismatch of varying levels that make up the village. Whole areas stand on stilts and raised platforms connected by bridges, while much of the city to the eastern side of it appears to be partially submerged in bog water. The browns, greens, and grays of the marsh itself is reflected in the browns, greens, and grays of the people who now wander the streets going about their business. Welcome to Berylbyn, a somewhat miserable-looking,

but functional village here in the Gwendoline Empire. So as you come off the road, the road gives way into this central district, which is what looks to be a smattering of stone slabs, cobblestone, and whatever pieces of material were left over from construction that help fix and maintain some sort of a main road here in the central opening before it scatters into the rest of the city.

What would you like to do? Technically, we get a short rest on the way in, or did that not happen? Well, you could've taken a day. Jester took most of a day to harvest a gator. Yeah. Yeah. We should probably look for an inn or something, right? We have to look for Febron, who is apparently

in the Keystone Pub. Oh. There you go. We should look for the Keystone Pub. Febron Keystone Pub. Yeah, in the district, I ran out of page. The puddles, in the puddles. In the puddles, it is in the puddles. I got pud.

Puddin'. In the puddin'. Is there anybody outside right now? There are. There are people walking through the streets, some of them are carrying small sacks over their shoulder from place to another, or in the process of wandering over to make up their business for the city, and they notice you approach, and they're slightly nosy,

paying attention to these strangers that just came in off the byway. I'm going to cast Disguise Self on myself. Okay. Two look like? A little halfling girl. All righty. Oh, it's still me.

I just, I can change my body into other things. Seems fascinated and enthralled by this. I'm going to use a tattoo. Can't do that with Disguise Self. He seems fascinated and enthralled by this. Can't do that with disguise. Oh, oh, here, take my mask. Oh, but you have a big beak. It's terrifying. It's very Comediodale art.

Just pulled that cloak way, way down. Yeah. Okay. There's still this long, dark snout with a beak poking through, but you got what you got. It's stylistic. Yeah. It's fine. That way dark. There's still this long, dark snout bee poking through, but you got what you got. It's stylistic. It's fine. That's a person mask. Yeah, kind of.

Plague doctor it up. Keeps you still in the pub, right? Yeah. Excuse me? You see this one older woman who's hunched going by, has her own hood up and a long gray cloak. She's wearing a somewhat stained-looking linen blouse and says, what do you want? Lovely weather, we's wearing a somewhat stained-looking linen blouse. What do you want?

Lovely weather, we're having a heart. Weather shit. Okay. I was wondering if you could point us toward a inn or the Keystone Pub, maybe? Keystone Pub's in the puddles that way. Thank you. Look for the crooked tower thing.

Can you sleep there? I mean, you can. I wouldn't be comfortable there. Here, here's some pocket bacon for your trouble. What the fuck is pocket bacon? You seem like you'd appreciate that more than money, so I don't know. I'm very confused, but I'll take it.

Puts it in her pocket, keeps walking. See? How much of that do you have? I swiped from a few places. It's like bacon at this point. It's just like little solid crocus. The whole campaign, she's been subtly, just stealthily stealing bacon.

Yeah. I would do that. I have done that. Just want to say, wrap it up in a paper towel, stick it in your bag, fine. From what we can see in the streets, are there anyone carrying any weapons or guards or spears? There are. You do actually see a handful of crownsguard.

They're present, it's still part of the Empire, though they look to be somewhat lackluster. At least their armor is in this shiny and well-kept. It looks like one of them's like, fucking hell, they're stationed here. They're probably not very appreciative, and have tried their best to adapt to the life here in the Lavenda Swamp. But they are visible throughout the town, including the puddles, which begin to go towards it. I'd say almost half of the city takes up the puddles. It as you begin to go towards it, I'd say close, almost half of the city takes up the puddles, and it looks like it was,

it's the oldest portion of the town. Probably the original barrel bend was just this district called the puddles. And the entirety of it is beneath somewhere between one to three inches of water. So as you begin to descend from the central area of the town, you begin to submerge your feet. Sploosh, sploosh.

And the entire rest of the city has been apparently slowly sinking into the swamp. It's slowly wading through a tide at the beach. It's also very much the impoverished side of this. If you can imagine an area of the swamp more impoverished than what you've already come across, this is it. You see a lot of huts and hovels. All the buildings here, on top of being older masonry

and stone structures and construct, the bases themselves are a deep, deep algae green from the floor to about halfway up, about two or three feet, where it seems like moss and fungus and various other plant matter has just slowly grown as the liquid that has been soaking into the vicinity is slowly growing up the side of these buildings. There's a fountain that is completely folded in now

at this point and is falling into itself and bits of the water just seem to have permeated through. It's an older relic of the earlier construction period. It's like a smending on the fountain. It does nothing. I love this place. This is great. Crownsguard, keep an eye on you

as you are the newcomers that walk in, and you do notice as you head down into the puddles, one of the guards who watched you enter just trails back about 30 or so feet, just slowly walking, keeping an eye. I pace behind the group, just start catching up to him. Is the wagon doing okay in the?

Yeah, it's doing all right. It's still at about three inches of water average, so it's not a major hindrance, and you're also going at a relatively comfortable pace now that you're in the city. Keep pushing in, looking for any signage of the Keystone Pub. Yeah, for the big tower thing.

Perception check for both of you guys. Also, a very important question, how is Kiri doing with Frumpkin? Kiri is now enthralled in the back of the cart. Put up, Frumpkin curled up on her lap, and she's slowly petting her. She's slowly petting him. Can I match pace to the Crownsguard eventually

that's following us? She came up and? I can slow behind to match his pace, who's following us. Okay, so you two? 15. Nice. 22. You see it first, and as soon as you look direction,

you catch up with that Fjord. You spot a small, crooked tower, it looks like, maybe about 25 or so feet high. Looks like there was originally a building here that fell into itself and collapsed, and they built a pub on top of it. Not very well, so it's this haphazard construct that looks somewhat unstable with bits of broken stone.

The only way you can get up into it, it looks like there are rope ladders hanging down the front of it that lead into an archway that's just open on the top. There are two oil lanterns hanging from the outside that give this faint glow to the exterior. From the inside, it looks warmly lit, though dark. I would hang out here full the time.

I'm so rad. It's about an eight-foot climb to get to the threshold of the interior. I'll climb that shit myself. The only way to get in is an eight-foot climb on a rope. That's what it looks like, yeah. Cocktail dress. Let's go, Arthur!

All right, so you guys guide your way that way. You manage to catch up with the Crownsguard, who's just walking, and as soon as he sees you slowing behind, he just lets you catch up. Should somebody stay with the cart, maybe? Because I feel like maybe all of our awesome stuff we just got will be taken. What stuff?

You mean the bloody crocodile? We also have a beautiful piece of leather. We also have some fine trap tapestries. We have many things. Caleb can put his string around it. Pull the silver thread around the edges of the cart. Please step away from the vehicle. Wipe her arm.

You just leave it on the base of the tower? All of us can get in, but anybody else will put a bell off in my head. Good to know. So as you approach, the guard turns to you. Evening, miss. Evening, sir. How the town is?

Oh, passing through. Right, well, does that make any trouble? Feels like trouble would make your life a little interesting, though, wouldn't it? Don't like interesting. Oh, is that why you're stationed here? Is this by choice, or who'd you piss off? No trouble, miss.

What's your name? Spoke that one, that's nice. He's just staring right through you. For now, nothing. Just a little conversation. Just simple, you know, trying to be polite. Your name first. Beau. Beau.

Yeah. Crownsguard Alexander. Crownsguard Alexander. Crownsguard Alexander. So formal. I don't like you. I get that a lot. I can imagine. Yeah. Don't start any trouble.

All right. Good, get on your way. I will wait, because I don't like him telling me what to do, and then I will get on my way. When you're good and ready. As you wait there, this awkward 30 second stare, before he goes like, I'll just... Yeah.

No, I'm comfortable. I'm tellable. Let him know. Be on your way. He turns around and walks back to his post. I'm Telo Beau. Let him know. Be on your way. He turns around and walks back to his post. I wait, and then I give myself a this for winning that game of chicken. And then I climb the rope.

Man, what a great scene between husband and wife. That was me at 16 with every cop I ever met. That was great. This is the tiniest hill hill and I will die on it. It never ended that well. It means nothing and I want to win. Nothing. Are you guys keeping Kiri in the cart?

No, she's coming with us. Okay, so Kiri just comes up with you. Kiri, stay behind me a little bit, okay? Don't make yourself obvious, all right? We need to protect you. Protect? Yes. We're bringing her into the bar. Well, we can leave her in the cart.

I guess not. Do you drink liquor, Kiri? No. No. Booze? No. No. Just say no. No. No, Booze! No. No. Just say no. No. No, Kiri, no. Here, I'll give you a little.

No. Do you know what booze is? What is booze? You know what booze is? She's going to try it sooner or later, you know. Do not let this little girl have booze. We'll get her a Turley Shemple, it's fine. We're not going to. Turley Shemple? You know, if you teach respect early on

towards alcohol, though. Yeah. That's true. Keeps him from aiming. That's true. Because if she has it, she won't, you know. She's got Swallowbite, but I don't mind. No, that's not an idea, let's go in. There you go.

She hands Frumpkin to you. He hands Frumpkin to you. Challenge. She hands Frumpkin to me. Sure. And climbs up the rope with the rest of you. So, as you guys climb up the eight-foot jump up to the side, you step up past the threshold into the archway and are immediately met with this tough-looking albino dwarf dude.

Yeah. He's standing there with pale white skin, jet white gray hair, eyebrows, big white beard, with just this black leather vest that's tucked into these billowing dark brown pants and boots. He's got all these scars and tattoos across his forearms, and he's just folding, and he goes,

Right? Steps back to let you in. Oh! Hi. Kind of gives a nod. Sorry. He continues to glare as you guys step inside, but within, it's a warmly lit, cozy space that resembles

being below deck on a ship at sea. You're right at home here, Fjord. It's all dark wood from all different angles, and it's cramped, too, so it has that similar feel. All the light in here looks like a handful of oil lanterns, so it's pretty heavily shaded in certain areas. So you're only catching rim lighting and soft light on certain faces around here.

There's maybe six patrons in here total. To the right, you see two individuals. It's a loud banging sound. There's two individuals in the process of building some sort of a stage on the corner immediately to your right. It's small, maybe five foot by five foot, but it's in the process of being built.

To your left, you see the barn. It's an L-shaped bar, not terribly large, but there behind it, you can see there's three oil lamps set up behind that light the area. You can see some of the liquor bottles and the ale kegs and everything set up towards the back of the barn in the front with one patron sitting on a stool. You see a rather cheerful-looking, middle-aged male gnome as the purveyor of this establishment. He's got puffy black hair and heavy mutton chops

on the side of his face, this bulbous, rosy nose, as he's in the process of pouring and refilling this tankard for the patron who's leaning against the bar in front of him, this gruff-looking fisherman human dude. He gives a glance over to you as you step in, taking in the vicinity, and goes, Hi! Well, welcome to the Keystone Pub.

The oldest pub in the Labenda. Well, the oldest pub in the Labenda is beneath this one, but we rebuilt it. It's really cool. Stunning. Thank you, thank you very much. Glad you could make it. Where are you all from?

Ooh. All over the place, really. All field. All field, that's a bit of a journey, isn't it? Well, glad you could make it. Not many folks come that far over here to visit the swamp. And what's your name, good sir?

I am Dent Bondswallow. Bondswallow is a little bit high right now. Bon or barn or? Bondswallow. Bondswallow. Can I just look around at the few patrons that are in here and see if any of them fit the description of the bronkies?

Do we have a description? Yes, we do. Yeah. Lack of teeth, busted eye. Much soup cray. Hooray. That is a shitty roll. Eight.

It's too dark in here, unfortunately. There's only six other patrons, but of all of them, they're too dimly lit for you to make out any features. Can I get up close to them and just like... Oh, jeez. One by one. We can just look in a few more minutes. Make your eyes adjust to the room.

Jester begins walking off of the chamber. He's like, So what can I get you? Oh, you guys, what you asking for? What you looking for? What's your strongest drink? That would be the Labender Throat Grog. What is what? Labender Throat Grog.

Yeah, that. It burns you like a fucker. Labender Throat Grog. The swamp you're in. Same color as the swamp, burns your throat. Tastes like grog, that's where it got its name. What do you mean, same color as the swamp? Green and shitty?

Yeah! That sounds exciting, I think we need a round. A round for everyone. A round for everyone. You too? Points to the little hooded creature next to you. No, she's, she's... Sick. On the wagon. On the wagon.

Right, wait. Um. Oh, I didn't know I needed this. All right, that's going to be, put you back about 25 copper pieces. Oh. I mean, I've got this. I'll take it. No, I have it. This one's on me.

That's easy for me to do. I need it for tax write-offs all the time. They always fight for the check. Boulder Parch parchment shears. Okay. So what brings you to town? He's just pouring the drink. All right, you get it.

As he's pouring the drinks, I'm like, what brings you to town? What brings you so far new with Moorfield? You know, we just heard amazing things about this area, and we thought we would check it out, because we're travelers. Historical point of interest. Yes, and we like to see check it out, because we're travelers. Historical point of interest. Yes, and we like to see different sort of things,

and this is really an interesting area. You know, not many cities have a lot of water in them. It's a shithole. Well. But it's our shithole. Yeah, it's really cool looking, though. Thank you, I appreciate that. That's exactly the magnet that I bought

when I got in here. You got one of the shithole magnets, too? I got a shithole magnet. If anyone wants one, I've got a whole bucket of them. You can't earn a shithole magnet, really, when you think about it. Yeah. It spoke to me.

You're building a stage for something? Is there some sort of circus in town or something? No, I just wanted some entertainment, liven the place up a bit, you know? I've been here for ten years, and it's just been a bit droll. Did you own the previous bar? This one's built on top of.

I did, I did, just inherited it from my father. Before it, you know. How old is Barrelben, excuse me, in general? Been here since the Empire started, almost three centuries. Wow. Yeah. Well, you know, we love traveling around. Is there anything in Beryl Ben that we just have to see before we leave?

I mean, you're there. Here? Yeah. It's the finest pub in town. Great. I hate, it's rough to start at the top, mate, but you know, you make your way down. I mean, worse ways to go. Maybe good shopping in town, maybe. We've got some trade, we've got some leather to trade,

we maybe have some armor. Maybe, maybe. Your best bet for trade, wouldn't normally be here in the puddles. That's fair. I'd be looking for the Midway Docks. That's where most of the business gets done here. Excellent.

If you're looking for things, for a fancier space, maybe you want to go ahead of the stilts, but that's where the, that's more of the, that's what I'm looking for. Awesome. Folks who run the place stay. There is a fancier part of this town.

It's the stilts, that's where it's all raised up. Stilts. That's where the southern house is, where the Starosta stays. There's the Mosmire Temple, which is where the druid that keeps the swamp, where the Starosta stays. There's the Mosmire Temple, which is where the druid that keeps the swamp, Fane, here stays. Idolmaster.

Ross is going to be looking for a place to sleep, and I don't know if you'd recommend anywhere that has rooms. You're already here. You have rooms? Yeah. He points down. That's exciting. Downstairs? Yeah. Whoa, that could be so much fun.

Is it haunted? Do you Whoa, that could be so much fun! Is it haunted? Do you like things that are haunted? Yeah. It's haunted! Yeah! Is it submerged in water? No, no, no, we cleared out underneath. Everything that fell in, we cleared out, and we have subterranean rooms.

Whoa. I'm very excited by this. Do they have, like, portholes to the, you know, water and such? He makes a note on a piece of paper. There will be in a few weeks. Okay. Are they below the water level here?

Most of them, no. But there's a few if you like, it'll be a bit soggy. I'll walk away from the bar and just stand near the door entrance. I cover for Fjord a little bit, just take the space. Okay. Just fill it out, just fill it out. This is my bubble now.

Nobody get close. How many rooms do you have? Four. I think we'll take off, well, how much are they apiece? Obviously, for each here, put about a silver piece per room. Oh, I figured just stay at all four for a couple days. Okay. Per person.

Per person? Yes. That's a lot more than you originally made it sound like. I apologize for the miscommunication. I'm perfectly okay with this. Yes. Yeah, Azor, why not? It is haunted. It is true.

Exactly the case. You pay for them spirits. Is there someone we can keep our cart? Do you have a place we can keep our cart? We've got a cart? Well, yeah. Then yeah, we can keep it. I can keep it.

Keep it where? Where? You can just take it to the stables. Oh. The Midway Docks, but I can do it for you, for just a few copper, is that good? A delivery fee? Eight.

That'll do it, because I want to see the down. Eight silver, eight silver, eight silver. You said a silver per person? Yep. All right, I'll just, let's just put a couple, yeah, eight, that's fine, I've got that. Fair enough. Thedas done. Thank you! Yep.

And do you want me to be delivering your cart for you? No, I can do it. Yeah? It will be fine. All right, but if you ever get lazy. Where's the stable? The midway. There's only really one stable. It's a bit large there. It's in the midway. Just keep your eye on it, Asgerine. You'll find it.

Maybe we should have something to it. We've got lots of stuff. Yeah? We're looking for... We heard about a kooky regular. We just have to meet him. For Bronn. You're looking for old Forbronn? Forbronn Keyes, yeah. We just have to meet him. For Bronn. You're looking for old Forbronn? Forbronn Keyes, yeah. Oh, I ain't going to ask. He's over there.

Oh. Left at the stage where they look like they passed out and probably in his own pismas, aren't they? He points over the direction. You can see by where they're banging with hammers at the stage, there's just one guy who's like,

just completely out, probably drooling down the side of the face. Man. I was going to look at everyone in here. We found him, we won. He's right here. We just send the message back to the gentleman and we'll collect our money.

We haven't given him anything special to say to him, or can we just go wake him up? No, we have to secure the safe. Oh, that's right, that's not an okay. I'm sorry, I was confused. He's just the contact who knows. Let's go wake him up. Yeah, I'm going to walk over and sit down at his table.

Wave my drink underneath his nose. And I pop it out. I flick him in the forehead. What the fuck did you do to that fool? You seem like such a charming gentleman. You now have the full appearance here, and it's pretty busted. The gentleman was wrong. There is one tooth. But it is black and angled. From the bottom? Yeah, from the bottom out.

Lips are cracked. The left eye is just kind of dealing off in an off direction. He looks like he's probably been kicked in the face a few times by probably a horse at some point in his childhood. He's definitely, he's had a rough go at life, probably, but has seemed to have carved a living.

You know, the very balding head on top, jaundiced skin. Looks like he's just sweating from the general humidity of the air in there, along with probably, who knows how much he's been drinking, and just sweating the alcohol through his pores. Doesn't take care of himself, but he looks up. So, what are you doing? Oh, you just seem like such a charming gentleman.

Well, what the fuck did you flip me? We were sent for. For me. There's more fucking drinking. A certain gentleman. Mm-hmm. There's more fucking drink. A certain gentleman. Mm, tension goes straight. This eye goes, and joins the other.

I hand him the drink one more time. You were sent by a gentleman, yeah? What's he want? Don't drink from that again. It's sterile, it's by its very nature, it's sterile. Are you mending on him? There's nothing here. Just on his teeth.

Don't fix him, he's perfect. That would be a ninth level spell, as in beyond. That's a wish, yeah. We're here to help you with your troubles. Okay, my troubles just started, mate. Don't want anything to do with this. No, fucking out. Nope, want nothing to do with it. We're here to deal with this safe house.

Think I'll fucking deal with it? It's not my problem anymore. I don't want anything to do with him or any of his business. He wants to send more of his toadies out to a drowning death? Go for it, that's up to you. I want nothing to do with it. You can do it without adding corpses for my tangle. Well, if you want another drink, then,

then you're going to show us how to get there and how to deal with it and what you know. Oh, it's a drink for you? Yeah, fuck you. I take my drink back. We could also just drag you back to the gentleman, if you'd prefer that instead, or you could just point us in the right direction and let us take care of it.

True, we did not have the kindest things to say about you. Make an intimidation check. Beau just gives a crack. You're so intimidating, Caleb. Really, really? That is a 15. You're so scary. A 15? Yeah. So scary.

He, like, the sweat begins to build a little more on his brow. He's like, Oh, just don't need it. We're going to take me back to him. He says, you know, just trying to, you know, he says, I don't want to work anymore. Well, you know, keep it simple, stupid. You talking another drake?

Look, mate, there's some shit going on out there in this swamp. Bet he didn't tell you anything, did he? Was it gators? No, it wasn't gators. Oh, well, because we are really good at killing those. We are very aware that he has sent us into something more troublesome than he has described, and we are willing to do that, and we are told

you are the one who can get us in the right direction, and we will be very disappointed. Otherwise. It was easy work, mate. All right? Meet his friends, lead them to the safe house in the swamp. Lead them back.

Good pay. Simple work. And you haven't got to miss it, huh? But I'll value my life more than that. A few weeks back, I escorted one of his smuggled troops to the safe house in the swamp. Right, the one you're asking about. Left him there with instruction to return a few days later and escort him to the underground river.

Returning, I heard something cruel. Something low. Echo and howl. It was much scarier than that. Shaking, I got there, right? Fucking hell. Outside the house, all of them, dead. Strung up in reeds and roots, bloated and left as a wound.

You know, that's what I say. I hear the howl again, and I just run. I'm covering Hughie's ears. There be curses in this swamp. I've been since before this. Loads from struggle's been here. Not me, so I've been having, yeah? Been having them ever since. But it really isn't scotting in my head.

I ain't going. Ain't worth it for a hundred coin. When have we made you a hundred coin? I'll come for that. All right, yeah. We can do that. You just said coin, right? I just said coin, I didn't make it clear which coin to go.

Copper, 100 copper. 100 copper? 100 penn goods. Copper, 100 copper. 100 copper? 100 pennies. 100 silver, okay, 100 silver, you got it. Half and half, a little gold and a little silver. Silver and gold. Which make? I get 100 gold pieces and buy me a drink.

I'll pour you a drink. I'll refill you a drink. I'll refill his cup with, does he have a cup? He does. Okay, with my. He had it pulled off the ground, it was knocked over and spilled. With my flask, I'll fill it up.

That's one part to be taken care of. Any other? All right. Half now, half upon delivery. Upon delivery to the place. Make a persuasion check. That's a persuasive die. No, it's not, it's really not.

Dammit, Jessie! It's a nine. On you go now, or you're pissing up the wind before I miss your place. Don't be a dick to us. You already said you were scared of us bringing you back to the Gentleman. What are you going to do?

What are you going to do? Your bird friend says he's... Yeah, what she said. Look, I'm going to be risking my life and I'm going to do it for the right amount of coin, okay? It's a service I'm providing. You can drive me back if you like. It's a service I'm providing. You can drag me back if you like. It's a pain in the ass.

Look, you can either risk your life for the coin, or we can drag you back, as you said, without any coin. Then drag me back, take me back to him, empty-handed in the deal you're looking for. 100 gold. And you sing us a song on the stage. Hundred gold. And?

Make another persuasion check with disadvantage. Because Matt doesn't want to sing. No, he doesn't want to sing. 12. He goes, Damn, but it's a short sword. Does everyone want to chip in a little bit of gold? Sure. I'm going to point out

this is entirely your doing. I'm going to give you all my gold. Out of the 12. I'll take Caleb's share. Dan, you are so broke all the damn time. No, I have two silver and five copper. You are so broke all the damn time. How broke am I?

This is like sorting out a check at the end of a meal. I'll give you 20. I'll give you 12. I'll give you 20, I'll cover Caleb. 12? 20 plus 20, 12. Okay, that's four or five. I'll take the rest. A counting in D&D.

No, I'm going to do 20 from me, too, so that's 72. And then one from Caleb, so 73. 27 from me. All right. But I didn't put any, I'll put in 10. All right, 17. All right. Wait, but I didn't put any, I'll put in 10. All right, 17. 17. All right.

All right, here's your goals, all of us pull together. Now go sing your song. Wait, shake my hand because. You said it. It's really important to shake when you make a deal. And look me in the eye. So one eye and one finger. Both okay. Both okay.

Both okay. Power ballet. Make it a good one. When we all know the words to, want to sing along, I yell at him as he walks away. The worst. He slinks over.

The stage is only partially up, and then two guys just go, Just a moment. Fuck off! Just a fucking moment! Just one! They're like, fucking hell, for bronze, seriously? They step back, cross their arms,

and he gets up on the stage. Margaritaville! Looks at the pouch of coins. Frimur! Still want to have her! All the sailors say, Brandy! You're a fine girl! What a good wife you can be. But my life in my life is the same.

He delivered. God knows the song. Damn. Don't get a drink! He goes back towards the score. Damn. Now get a drink! And he goes back towards the bar. Wait, are we leaving in the morning? When are we doing this? When do you want to leave? In the morning.

We've got some shopping to do. We've got to run around a bit. 1030. Wait a minute. A soft 1030. Did you already give him the gold? Yeah. Hang on.

He ain't going to fucking be here. They're taking it back! Excuse me, how do we know you're going to show up tomorrow? And not just run away with the gold? Well, he is staying with us this evening. Oh, that's right. You're staying with us. Right, I'm staying with you. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure, fine, great. Take your pick. No. Choose wisely. I sleep naked. Thank you. Ready to snuggle me, lady? Good choice. Goes and finishes his drink.

You're shown the sleeping quarters of the evening. There is a hatch behind into the back of the bar. It looks like a dark corner where there's almost no light. The barkeep comes over, Dent, and brings one of the lanterns off the wall and opens up the hatch. There's a ladder that leads down inside. Literally, they've cleared out most of the ruin

of the old establishment below it, and there are four separate rooms with a small hallway between a cross-section hallway that are built as a subterranean sleeping quarters. This is so cool! Awesome. There are no windows. It feels very much like a prison cell with a bed,

but it's functional. Are there two beds in the rooms, or is it just one bed? One bed per room. Oh boy. This feels very trendy. Time to snuggle up, Beau. Let's do it.

Who's taking Kiri? Oh, Kiri's staying with us. Okay. Oh, oh, wait. So what are those four rooms? One is Yasha and the weirdo. Molly and Fjord. And you and Caleb.

Okay. As we go into our room, I say to Caleb, it's not really haunted, is it? I highly doubt it. I mean, it's possible. Oh shit, we need to take the cart to the stables. We're just putting our stuff down, and then we're also, how late is it at this point?

It's post-sundown, and the time of searching the city, having a drink and conversation is probably close to like 9, 30, 10, probably. Maybe we should have the guy take it. Or should we just leave it outside? I think that's a bad idea. That's a terrible idea. That's how I'll take care of it.

I'll take it. Yeah. But we know what's in it. There's how I'll take care of it. Oh, I'll take it. Yeah. We know what's in it. There's inventory. Is there anything? So if anything's missing, it's on him, on Dent. Yes, we'll have Dent take it to the stable. You think he has insurance to cover lost goods?

Because I don't think he does. No, we are in a podunk town. There is no insurance. Taking all the horses and the cart to the stables, Dent, looking it all over, charges you two silver for the service. Can I insight check him and make sure he's going? Go for it. Honest.

Oh, natural one. I knew it. The most trustworthy guy I've ever met in my entire life. Seems aboveboard, yeah. Maybe someone should go with him and we get the valuables off. Are you going to rethread the silver? We've been here an hour. There's seven hours-ish left on the spell.

Oh, so. That'll get us through most of the night, yeah. All right, that's fair. What all's in there? Wait, does that go with the card? You have, sure. Yeah, I cast it, I thread the card, but you have the thingy.

Yeah. Yeah? That cast it, I thread the card, but you have the thingy. Yeah. Yeah? That's the most important thing. The only thing on the card is like your thing that you bought at the festival and some crocodile skin. Leather, some armor, just a few things. I'm fine to send it. That's fine, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, here's a gobble silver for you, thank you. No worries, happy to help. And he goes and carries it off and takes care of it for the evening. And also not, I would not worry, the spookiest thing in this place is us. That is true. All right, you guys gather your things

and bed down for the evening, taking your respective chambers. Quick conversation. Sure. Yeah. Just quick. That was Kiri. As the hooligans are getting ready for bed, I just wanted to say to Nott, you know,

I think for obvious reasons now, I have kept a lot of things close to the vest and those things are out. If you ever want to talk about anything, now or later, after you think about it, you are my friend or later, after you think about it. You are my friend, and you can talk to me if you want.

Well, thank you. You know, I don't want to burden you with, you know, my shit. You've got your own fish to fry and your own battles to wage, and I don't want you to have to worry about me or anything. That means a lot to me, and... Oh, hello. I can't see you through your boots.

That's the point. Besides the Fort Wilson facts. Yeah. I just want you to be okay. It sounds like this person who corrupted you is out there still, and we need to find him and, you know, kill him or whatever, if that's something that you want to do. And, you know, I him or whatever, if that's something that you want to do.

And, you know, I'm fine focusing on that. I've got my own issues, but... But I'm fine taking care of yours first. The thing is, you know, your story that you poured out to us, to me and Beau the other day, it was very sad, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it, but I have to say, in a way, I'm a little bit jealous.

Because, you know, you've done this horrible thing, not to make light of it or anything, but it's bad and we can all tell that you've, you're wearing it, you know, in your dirty clothes and your must hair. Very clean right now.

Well, I know, but I mean, still like, you know when you're dirty and it rains, it streaks down and dries? That's the sort of thing you've got going on right now. Like you've just pissed Spider-Man. I mean, in hour one, yeah, but we were in the rain for like 48 hours. Yeah, but you've got a lot of dirt on you.

Yeah. Did Laura Bailey put you up to this? No. All I'm saying is, I feel like you can get revenge. You can maybe even get redemption for what you've done, and you can become a better person, and you can do good to counteract

the bad that you've done in your past, and maybe someday there will be an end to your suffering. You're getting ahead of yourself, okay? I am a garbage person. Let's just put that on the table. But while I am a piece of shit, we can help each other in the short term, and this is going further than I anticipated.

I just meant that if these people we're with are all interesting and great and untrustworthy, but great, but I trust you, which wasn't really true three weeks ago, Not great, but I trust you, which wasn't really true three weeks ago. And I just mean, I wasn't, I know words don't do it. Talk to me if you want. All right.

Thank you for the offer. Good night, Caleb. Good night. Hey, Jester. Yeah? What do you think Captain Max-dong, whatever his name was. Maximilian. Maximilian meant by, like, I'll see you again. I think he was saying something that cute guys

sometimes say, those kind of things. Like, ooh, I hope our paths cross again someday. And then later on in the book, you run into him again, and he remembers you. And you're like, ooh, that's Captain Max. He takes off his helmet this time, and you see that he's got the most fabulous hair that blows in the wind.

Oh man, you're like, I never knew he had such luscious locks. Yeah. Captain Maximilian is probably like that. I think so, too. Do you think he had the hots for any one of us? You think that's why he said this? He probably had the hots for you, Beau. I think he had the hots for you.

Well, no, probably not. Maybe it was Yasha. Maybe it was Yasha. Maybe he was like, ooh, I'm a captain. Ooh, I'm a captain. Yes! Have you ever read Tusk Love, Kiri? Oh no.

You know what, maybe Kiri shouldn't read Tusklove just yet. I think Kiri should read Tusklove. Kiri, how old are your parents? You don't know how old they are? How old are you compared to most people that are like you? I think that means she's pretty young. Yeah. Kiri, where do babies come from?

She doesn't know what the hell we're talking about. Yes, she does. Where do babies come from? Your voice is very low, Beau. Is that how I sound? You kind of do sound like that. I have a lot to reevaluate. I gotta think about some things.

We should go to sleep. Hang in brain. Okay. I'm going to just spend the evening telling Kiri basically the story of Tazkala. Oh god! The oral history. But she doesn't have to read it. I can leave out the really dirty bits. I fall asleep 20 minutes in, just drooling over it.

Kiri is just enthralled. It's the most beautiful love story you've ever heard in your entire life, basically. Yeah. Yeah. The video march. I draw pictures of it, you know, to illustrate what I'm talking about.

If you could see a blackbird blush. So that's him. Molly Fjord. Oh. So that's him. Molly Fjord. It's not that I don't trust this place or like it, but I'm thinking about locking the door a little more heavily than normal, and I'm going to wedge my sword just underneath the door to make sure that it can't open without moving the sword. Mm-hmm.

It's a lot of new people today. Smart. I like new people. Is there any moisture in the corners of the room? Yeah, and you guys notice two of the rooms are dry, two of them have about half an inch of water on the floor. Which one is ours? Half an inch of water on the floor.

I really don't mind. This is actually pretty familiar. I'm all right with this as well. This is fine. Yeah. I'll take the bed, though, if you're offering. Not a problem. Not a problem.

All right. The door closes in the chamber. Oh. I lied. Ah! Down, down, down! I start pushing the bed up against the door. Interesting.

Right, right, okay. It's like taking his linen shirt on, it's stained. No, you could sleep with your clothes on. I can, but it's not as comfortable. No, you could sleep with your clothes on. I can, but it's not as comfortable. I throw on my pillow. All right, you first. I'm sleeping in the bed.

Huh? Me too. No, you didn't pay for this room. May I sleep in the bed? No. You won't fit in the bed with me. I am very big. Let's try. Let's not.

There you go. Lays down in the somewhat slightly waterlogged floor, takes the pillow and bundles it up in the corner of the room and lays down into it. You have a little oil lamp in there you can put out. Leave it on. Okay. Leave that shit on. Yeah. Sit up against the bed.

All right. So you guys all eventually get to sleep, get an evening's rest, managing to adjust to the unpleasant smell of somewhat swamp bog water soaked subterranean inn room. But the night comes and passes, and we'll pick up next week as the morning comes, too.

But Brawn is totally telling his friends that he nailed a barbarian. Yeah. Really. We'll see what happens. It's going to become the dullest story that's existed, that story that everyone hates. So I'm better alone, right?

He's a creepy little fuck. You never know. You never know. You're lucky. It's me, Farabone. Gets him every time. Thank you, guys. That was fun. Moving right along.

I like this place. I need a new notebook after this session. You filled that whole thing? She writes at 55. In this one? What? Each page is a centimeter thick, though, on this book. That's true.

Each page has illustrations, maps, curse words, colors. Learn from our monk. Punisher skulls. Skulls are bad guys. Yeah, good annotations. That's smart. Mountain range. Oh, you recognize it as a mountain range. That's great.

So proud. Oh yeah. If everyone's okay, I, by the way? Oh, yeah. If everyone's okay, I think this is a clever system. We haven't used it yet. Yeah, but in the morning, somebody gets it. You can play in the morning, okay. Nott'll take the fragment of the morning. Yep, yep.

All right, we'll pick this up next Thursday. Also, we're going to have a guest next week. What? I told you this. We are not going to have a guest next week. What? I told you this. I remembered Matthew. Thank you. Playing Kenku? No, no.

No, we have a guest. My brother from another motherland for the past decade in the world of D&D. Some of you may know him from his online D&D stream, High Rollers, but Mark Humes will be in town and joining us as a guest next week. Too bad he's coming.

We already had Kit. We already had Needless Woman. He was the last one. But only if he does an American accent. Well, I like that answer. I want full Benedict Cumberbatch right here. From California. If we can get it out of him at some point,

that'd be great. I love a fake American accent. But yeah, Mark's a longtime friend. He came and watched the show live when we first started streaming long ago. Happy to have him come and join us next week. So excited for that, Mark. We'll see you then.

The rest of you, rest well. Have a wonderful weekend. You as well. We love you, and is it Thursday yet? No. Good night. Not yet. Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role.

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