Critical Role - C2E23 Have Bird, Will Travel

Episode Date: June 15, 2018

After finishing up some loose ends in the Labenda Swamp, the Mighty Nein head to the town of Huperdook...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Why, hello there. This is Critical Role's resident art dad, also known as Liam O'Brien. We are continuously amazed at the artwork this community creates. That's why each Thursday at 8 a.m. Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over on CritRole.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit CritRole.com slash submit. And thank you to all of the incredible artists who share their talents with us week after week.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us and your ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. Before we get into the chaos of tonight's game, we have some announcements to get through. First, beginning with our fantastic sponsor of campaign two up to this point and going forward,

for hopefully infinity, D&D Beyond. SAM and LAURA and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM if you want to take it away. I will indeed. Guys, D&D Beyond will be streaming tomorrow, June 15th, live from Origins Game Fair. Uh-oh. I've forgotten something in my car.

Laura, take over. No, what is he doing to me? From Origins Game Fair. Check out twitch.tv slash dndbeyond, and, not and, starting at 12 p.m. Eastern time to catch interviews. We're killing it, babe. The monthly D&D Beyond.

What? Buenas noches. I am the masked vigilante named Storo. I fight injustice and defend the innocent in order to send them to the D&D Beyond Storo. Oh no. Yeah, yes. Mine is a dangerous cause, filled with scary monsters, vile beasts, devilish devils. All of them can be found in the various monster manuals at the D&D Beyond store.

Aha! What is this? It is a generic tablet device, displaying a handsome array of content and inventory to streamline your tabletop gameplay. Why, this can only be the infamous handiwork of D&D Beyond. With my blade, I cut down on prep time. I slice my physical book collection in half.

I slay the enemies of book management, for I am click, click, click, Storo, and I will never stop fighting until our D&D Beyond contract expires, and then I will stop fighting! Who was that masked man? Oh boy, guys. Did you run what you needed in your car, Sam? You know what? It was right here. It was this thing. Check out the twitch.tv slash dndbeyond starting at 12 p.m. Eastern time to catch interviews, the monthly D&D Beyond dev update Q&A, and a live play session with exclusive reveals from Dwarven Forge's upcoming KS5. Six! I don't

know what that is. There's six Kickstarters. Oh, okay, cool. Well, TLDR. I didn't plan a commercial at all this time. I didn't plan any commercial today. It was just... There was a guy that, you know what, it's not important.

Great job, Sam. Well done, buddy. Great job, Sam. It feels like the longest walk yet. You know the thing when you find a mask at home and you're like, I can do a bit with this? That's the whole thing. Thank you, Sam. And thank you, D&D Beyond. Storo lives on in our hearts. Hopefully only in our hearts. Yep.

Hopefully only in our hearts. All. Hopefully only in our hearts. All right, so a few other updates. One, we have the standard editions of Vox Machina Origins are still available at the Queen & Sundry and the Alpha Line shops. The special editions are gone. But you can find details at critrole.com. Let's see, Vox Machina is our aftershow every Tuesday, and this episode will be next Tuesday at 7 p.m. Pacific time. We're a number of members of our cast. We'll be talking with our fantastic Cabbage Master, Brian W. Foster, to discuss the events of tonight's evening episode. I like that, too. I like that.

They have giveaway prizes for GIF and Fan Art of the Week. Make sure that you submit them to submit at TalksMachina.com. Currently only U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec, are eligible to enter and win because of dumb rules. Also remember that Twitch Prime allows you, if you have your Amazon Prime account, to attach with your Twitch account to subscribe to a channel for free on Twitch once a month. So if you can, do so. It's free. And that is it, and that's all. Short announcements tonight. Wait, wait, wait. I have a thing. This is not an announcement. One of the artists in our

community, Jason DeBitt, who's been with us since the very, very beginning, old school critter, and has made great art. He's made art on his son's sandwich bags for years, and he's made a lot of critical role art, too. He contacted me a couple of weeks ago and said, something's coming. Be on the lookout for it. He gave me a vague idea of what it was, and it didn't prepare me for what I'm about to show you guys. This is just another example. It's cabbage. Another example of how unbelievable the people in our audience are. So, Jason had an idea in 2016 to take a sketchbook and mail it around to other artists in the community. Oh, wow.

This book and this box, because it's covered in notes, I'll let you guys look later, but this book has been traveling the planet since 2016. What? Instantly started crying, like this book. The rules, when you finish with this book, email Jason Yadayada. If you use the medium that bleeds,

decorate it, send it on to the next person. It's just been traveling. Very first one, I'll just find some. Cat Winslet has done art for ages. I can't, I mean, I just can't. Oh, Sarah! Yeah, Mick just can't. Yeah, a mickandy, a manor, just a couple Lloyds. I'm not going to do everyone justice, and I'm going to take pictures of this, every single picture in here. I mean, I

Oh, I got it! Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I opened this up for the first time an hour before the show and was just openly weeping like Liam O'Brien has want to do. There's one more I want to find that I just really like. Well, you guys, that one's really good, too. I'll take pictures of all of them, but I can't tell you how much this meant to me and obviously to all of them seeing it for the first time. Thank you. We have the best audience on planet Earth, bar none. Just legitimately thank you. Really, really thank you. I'm looking at the wrong camera, I'm looking at the wrong camera. Amazing. It doesn't matter. That's incredible.

Wow. So we'll pass it around. Everyone will see it, the audience will all see it. Thank you. There will be tears at break. Okay, we better start the game! Thank you guys so much. Oh my god. Okay. Shark block. Okay. Don't you do it.

No, we're good. All right. And on that note, let's bring us in to tonight's episode of Critical Role. Thank you. And welcome back, everyone. So last we left off, the Mighty Nein had been traversing northward towards the Labenda Swamp to make good on the first of two jobs they had accepted from the gentlemen back in Zadash. Upon traveling northward, you made a young feathered friend by the name of Kiri, who has been under your protection since. You briefly met Kallie, who is a dragon-blooded sorcerer who joined you for a length of the journey. You manage to discover where the seemingly cut off and abandoned safe house was. Beneath it, discovered what seemed to have been

responsible for it going silent by what seemed to be an underground tunnel network run by Marrow, Swamp Marrow. You engaged with them, found a strange altar room where they had amassed everything they had stolen from the safe house, slaughtered the present shallow priest and his protectors, took what was necessary and what was of interest from that pile, including an interesting orb, made your way back out, closed the pathway

that the Marrow had to the safe house, thus establishing its true safety once more and completing the job of which you were tasked. There, you spent an evening resting and began heading back out to return from the northern center of the Labenda Swamp towards the town of Berylben and to where the next leg of your journey takes you.

So, Mighty Nein, as you begin heading southward into the daytime of the thick, heavy swamp, what would you like to do? I forget, are we returning back to report in-between missions, or are we doing a twofer? Well, I can send a message to the gentleman so we don't have to go back. How can you do that? He's terribly far away.

Well, I keep wanting to use this spell that I have, but I haven't been able to do it yet. What spell do that? He's terribly far away. Well, I keep wanting to use this spell that I have, but I haven't been able to do it yet. What spell's that? It's called Sending. Sending? Yeah, I can send a message. Yes, well. It's a literal description. Yeah.

Well, yeah, I guess that would cover it, then. But it's one of my most powerful spells, you guys, so if we're going to fight somebody, I don't know if it's smart. Do you send an actual message, or is it like a piece of paper? It's like a piece of paper of the mind. Ooh. Yeah.

Kind of lost me a little. Do you want me to do it? Shouldn't we get out of the swamp first? What's the scariest around? What time is it about in the sky parts? If I recall, you guys had taken a long rest after your previous battle, so now it's mid-morning, I'd say. Oh yeah, maybe,

hey Jester, maybe not just yet. Maybe before we go to sleep. At the end of the day? Yeah. Well, like so many good things, we can do it back when we get to the hotel. Okay. Do we want to go find that troll guy? I do. To get that 100 gold back?

I did almost die, which was pretty awesome. Yeah, and remember, he bleeds damaging liquids. So we stay far away this time. Do we have any more boom boom sticks? I think we have one. We have one left, yes. We could just go blow up his house. Gold survived.

That just seems petty. Explosions. Or something that we would totally do. He almost killed me and definitely killed our guide. Yeah, we should blow up his house. I'm down for that. That sounds fun. Caleb, do you remember how to get there?

Three. Three votes. Four, five votes Do you remember how to get there? Three. Three votes. Four, five votes. I defer to the group. Are you abstaining? No, okay, let's go. Okay. I do not have a cat in this hunt,

but whatever you want to do, I will. So apparently, and along to the ride. Throw it in and see how it goes, and then we can run if he's... Sure. How do we know if he's in there, though? Well, you can sneak up, take a look, rob it, and then throw a stick of dynamite in, just because if we're going to be those people.

Well, yeah. What happens if he's actually there? Wait, what do you mean by those people? Do you know a lot of people who throw dynamite in houses? Yeah. I feel like that's pretty obvious at this point. I didn't feel like I knew that about you. I just like having a game plan. Sure. Maybe we have Nott just bolt in, right? Everybody else stands back, because you're

super fast, right? Yeah, I guess. Very dexterous. Sure. Yeah. Then you run in, you toss that sucker, and If he pops out, we just light it up from afar. Pew pew! This is no way going to go terribly. So I'm going to be carrying an explosive device

into a troll's house, solo. No, you just throw it in the door. You don't have to walk in. What if it's not, just to play a troll's advocate here, what if it's not his house? I know, that's the thing, right? What if we're just blowing up an innocent troll's house? Well, then we should rob it first.

We'll send Frumpkin in first. Also, there'll be a body curing, if it is his house, we'll know, because there'll be a body curing and getting nice and ripe. We also had no qualms about sending a highly decorated Richter to the guillotine, so I don't know why we are getting tied up over a troll.

I fear that as well. Well, he definitely has 100 gold on him. Just saying. Seems like a lot of work for 100 gold. Possibly so much more. Let's go check it out. Yeah. Check it out. It's on the way back anyway.

It is on the way. We'll give you the dynamite, and if anything seems like it goes wrong, you can just immediately signal Caleb and we'll bring the cavalry in. Okay. Caleb, you got that photographic memory? You remember where those damn daggers are in the trees?

I remember the way. This way. What is your marching order, if I could ask? Oh boy. I'm right behind whoever's in the lead. All righty, so who's in the lead, guys? Fjord. Fjord. I'll go behind Caleb.

Okay, Yasha's behind Caleb. I'll go behind Yasha. I'll go next to Molly. Next to Molly, to Jester. I'll take up the rear. All right, Nott? 30 feet to the right. All righty, and Ciri will stay with Jester.

Yeah. Yeah. She can ride on my shoulders again. And Frumpkin? Oh, Frumpkin is scarfing it on my shoulders. All right. Got it. All right, so Fjord, does that mean you're leading through? Who is responsible for navigating?

Oh, I'm just a couple steps behind Fjord, saying that way once in a while. Go ahead and make a survival check, please. Navibation. I'm just a couple steps behind Fjord, saying that way once in a while. Go ahead and make a survival check, please. Navibation. I'm glad that you're okay. Survival. I'm survival. Just to say that I'm okay. That's not bad. That's a 15.

A 15, all right. Very good, all right. So. You get a gold star. You do. Very good. So you follow the pearl-handled daggers along the treeline until eventually you break southward to the northern side of the Unterlach.

You continue to follow it southwestward, it would be from your current position, curving around the outside of the lake. Eventually, you guys make your way back to the treeline where you were before. At one point, there's a faint shift in the greenery. Looks like a vine, maybe a move. You, recognizing the placement of it,

manage to stop Fjord from stepping into it. As you pull him back, you guys watch as there is now a cluster of vines at the base of one of these trees. What looks like thorns on them almost appear to be jagged and in rows. Is it a trap? Or is it organic? You don't know.

Look at it. I'm sorry, DM, could you say that again, because I was busy rubbing it in to Travis that Caleb is stronger than Fjord. Vines. You saw a patch of vines that were tangled at the base of one of these trees that you managed to stop Fjord

before stepping into the area. Do we recognize these vines? What kind of plant this is? Make a nature check. Oh, let's see how this goes. Can I do a scan on the ground? No, it could be a nature check. Oh, let's see how this goes. Can I do a scan on the ground? No.

No, it could be a trap. Come look and see if it's a trap. Okay, I'm coming! Can I do a scan and see if I see anybody responsible for making the vines move? Make a perception check. Wow. Yeah, man, that's pretty bad.

Eight. Nope, 10. Still getting used to my stats, ten. You don't see anybody responsible for that. I will visually inspect it for traps. All right, make an investigation check. Nope. I want the numbers, though.

Eight. Eight, all right. Does not appear to be trapped. There are no other cables or lines. You don't see any signs of anything else either holding any tautness to it. They seem slack. Can I follow the vines along

and see where they're coming from? As you look at them, they're just centered there at the base. They either might be coming out from under the tree or just part of a plant network right there. I've got a weird idea. Let's walk around them. I'm going to back up, everybody back up a bit. I'm going to take a little bit of my jerky. I'm going to wrap it around a ball bearing, make a little baseball out of it. I'm going to chuck it

right into the middle of the vines. What? No! It's good jerky! As soon as you hear Beau's words, it's good jerky, you watch as the vines suddenly wrap around where it was and begin to coalesce and twist around it. You watch as they tighten and tear and just hold there. I love camping.

Then they begin to slowly shift in your direction. The vines. Back up, back up. Let's just run, let's run! Go around it. We're just going to go. Okay, because it's not very quick. You watch as this poor cluster of jagged vines,

different than the man trap you encountered before, but just slowly circle around and eventually give up after you guys very easily make your decision. I put a little bit of moldy pastries at it because I feel sorry for it. Okay. Feeding the plants. And it throws it back. Doesn't seem to have much interest in them, unfortunately. Well, it's still really good.

It'll get hungry. Yeah, maybe later. All right. so pressing on, you're heading back to Berylben, or are you searching for this hollow you found before? Oh, I was leading everyone back to where this trolley is. All right, so make another survival check, please.

Okay, I know exactly the direction of north, and I remember where we were. That is a nine. Okay, all right. Now we're going to get lost in the swamp forever. If I have public movement. Yeah. You have, from memory of direction,

but looking for, you know which direction you're traveling, and you have. It all looks the same. Yeah, it's, yeah, you don't have the ability to suddenly know where everything is that you've been. You have a good sense of it, and you can guide better than most, given most circumstances. But you also have not grown up in a swamp,

and after a while, the pattern recognition begins to fade a bit, and you discover, after you've been circling for a bit, something upon your own footfalls, and you've lost about two hours of travel in the middle of the swamp. Oh no. It looks just the way I remembered it, though. Maybe we circled around for two hours the first time

and we just didn't realize it. It's entirely possible. Knowing that, you do take knowledge of the current source of sunlight above the canopy and following that heading in the western direction from where you were. Eventually, you come across that similar sound. That

distant chimes. What was that? Those were the chimes. Those were the bone chimes. Oh no. That's scarier than wind chimes. Should we be stealthy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, we should be stealthy.

Should I cast Pass Without a Trace on us? Yeah. Yes! Is that all of us? Yeah. Stay within 30 feet of me, okay? Your time should come. I don't want to. Don't make me go in there. Take a sip.

There's a troll house. What? Bless you. Now you have advantage on stealth checks. Okay, okay. So you're all staying back? Yeah. How far back are you staying? Should we do a circle around the perimeter, just in case?

Let's do a semicircle around where the door is. This will make it an easy. Whoa! There you go. He's got a map. We remember what not to do, right? Which is panic and run? Don't attack him up close.

Don't let him get close to us. So there is the hollow. Cool! The central tree there. We're coming from the, so this would be, you guys are coming this direction, so the north would be that direction. You guys are heading this way.

Up north. So where would you guys like to be placed? Semicircle right there? Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is. I would like to be on the absolute side of the semicircle, please. Is this rough terrain, is this swampy, or is this normal ground?

It's normal ground where it's green and then rough terrain where it's watery. Okay. Oh, that's, oh no. Sorry, Jester. Kiri has her dagger out. Oh, yeah, yeah. It is currently. Kiri has her dagger out and is currently. Kiri, stay behind this tree next to me. Right there? Yeah.

There? No, no, behind it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Behind? Yeah, yeah. Hiding in that tree. And? I feel a little exposed. Oh, there you go.

I'll worry you. Here, I'll give you a tool right here. As you're. Oh, there you go. I'll worry it here. I'm going to give you a tour here. As you're preparing yourself, Kiri looks over to you with a big smile to dagger out and goes, I don't know if it's smart. Kiri, I don't either. No, no. Give me the boomstick.

Who has the boomstick? You do now. I have the boomstick. We all checked our pockets on the way here. Okay, please tell me your advantage. What am I doing? I'm going to see if this is the troll's place. You're going to see if the troll is inside.

Going to take everything that you can grab in there. I guess it's not going in. Can't worry. Just blow that thing up, man. What if the troll's not in there, though? Then you blow it up anyway. Oh, then we could go steal stuff. Then he'll go steal stuff and bounce.

And then blow it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So find out if he's in there, though. Then you blow it up anyway. Oh, then we can go steal stuff. Go steal stuff and bounce. And then blow it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So find out if he's in there. All right. Is Frumpkin dead? Not to be insensitive. You just touched his tape. Oh, hey, buddy, sorry.

He should go in there. Yeah, maybe we send Frumpkin first. Frumpkin's not as, yes, I mean, yes, that would be great. But Frumpkin's not as stealthy as Mattel. If you want, I can go into there. Without a trace on all of us. I'm okay, I'm okay.

But it's only up to 30 feet away from her. Oh, that's true. I have advantage, though. Okay, go in there, Nott. I'm going to run up stealthily. All right, roll your stealth with advantage, Nott, as you come up on the side. Plus 10.

Oh, it's not plus 10. I thought it was the advantage. It has to be within 30 feet. 22. 22. Nott, that's not plus 10. I thought it was the... It has to be within 30 feet. 22. 22. Not, that's just average. All righty. So Caleb, you've got plus 10 right now.

So as quietly as you can, you turn around the corner, walk this little swampy land bridge, dipping down about your waist in swamp water, but in a very, very slow, steady path, begin to emerge, your foot finding the roots at the base of this large, now hollowed tree. You turn around the corner. I'm wearing a ring of water.

That's true, you do, actually. You just across it. The softest ninja run you've ever seen. Yes. You can almost hear Dancer's Grip from Faeries as you go. Glancing inside, you do see, currently in the process of chewing something. You hear a crunching sound, then a slurping sound,

and some subtle. Oh, my man. Okay. Smoked it. I will stealthily back away so there's no way he can see me. Okay. To the side four. I will just stealthily back away so there's no way he can see me. Okay. To the side, and I will. Wait, can we all hold our attacks

for as soon as the troll comes out of the tree? Mm. You want to hold actions when it comes to it? Yep. Sure. I'll hold Eldritch Blast until he's visible. I will hold Fire Bullet. I'll hold a throwing star. Essentially, it would be a surprise round.

So you wouldn't have to worry about holding it, necessarily. Okay. Okay. He doesn't seem to know you're there. Okay. Am I able to light the boom boom stick? Do you have flint and steel in your equipment? I'm looking. Oh no.

We send them up there without matches? Great idea. I have thieves tools. Well, this is the most us thing that has ever goddamn happened. I have thieves tools, and I have acid. Well, sneak back here and just throw the stick at it. I pull out the wire and say,

what are you doing? I throw it in. I don't have a match. Oh. Oh. I could light it from here if you just toss it down and dive. No, what? No, go back.

I have, I probably can't do this. You throw in a fireball and make it go. I'm going to come back! Oh my god! You guys are all waiting patiently. I'll say, look, it's definitely in the troll. I just need someone to light this for me, or give me a match or something. Just use your fin. Don't you have burning hands or something? It's hard to control.

Just light a finger on fire and just touch the thing. I have a tinderbox. Oh, great! Is it a long wick? Yeah. It's about that long. You make, you make an intelligence check, actually. I run and do it. Intelligence eight plus something.

She's real smart. Intelligence check. 11. 11? You have some understanding of basic alchemy. You know probably the way this is treated. It won't burn super fast. You're not sure. You could have anywhere between 24 to six seconds.

This is such a drunk Fourth of July moment. Yes. Once lit. You have full running speed, though. I could go with him. Why? You know, he'll get you past without a trace. Just go with him. Why do you want me to die?

It'll look really cool when you're running away from it, though, and it's like exploding. You're right, it will. Okay, I'm going to follow 30 feet behind Nott as we're going up. Okay, I'm going to cast Mage Hand to hold the dynamite. Okay, so Mage Hand's holding the dynamite. Go ahead and light it, Yasha.

Wait, so where are you, then? I'm near Yasha. Okay, so move over to Yasha. I'm going to get behind that tree and activate my swords. I'm going to hit within 30 feet of Nott. Both swords. Ignited. Within 30 feet of Nott. Okay, so you move over here with Yasha then. Sure, I guess.

Okay. There's now this floating piece of dynamite just gliding over the swamp. You hear the insects buzzing and they'll be like, bury dragonflies making their way through. You have it now floating in front of you, Yasha. Okay. I'll light it. It's going. Okay, I'm going to move towards the thing and make Mage Hand go in front of me

all the way into the hole. Okay, you get right around this corner and make another stealth check as you've now dilly-dotted around for a bit. Oh, that's good, you still have advantage. Okay, 25. Okay. And you're within 30 feet.

Oh, and plus 10, because you were already. 35. No idea you're there. But there is a faint sound, and from the inside, you see the shifting movement of the large, hulking troll beast on the inside of the hollow pause for a see the shifting movement of the larch-hulking troll beast in the inside of the hollow. Pause for a second in the middle of the tree and

Dornage hand is going in. And silence. What did you do? If I could get a pair of scissors, please. What, you're going to cut your beautiful work? Yeah, you blew it apart! I hope it took forever to make it.

I hope that took an hour. Thank you kindly. It's got roots and all sorts of beautiful things. Just like that. That's fine. If I could get a third of scissors, please. Should we start bringing cherry bombs? Yeah.

Attack, attack, attack! Okay, so first off. That was the coolest. Disadvantage on its dexterous saving throw fails. Go ahead and roll 2d6 for me, please. Me? Okay. That's only 2d6 of damage. Oh no!

Double ones. Oh! Oh my god! Yes! Serious? That's a deal! That's and6 of damage. Oh no! Double ones. Oh my god! That's a serious sale. That's a deal of sale. That was a bottle rocket. Oh no! The concussive blast blows apart the hollow.

You see pieces of shrapnel go flying in every direction. The only one who's not currently protected is you, Nott. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw, please. On my own blast? Yes. Well, not from the blast. This is you, Nott. I need you to make a dexterity saving throw, please. On my own blast? Yes. Well, not from the blast. This is from the shrapnel of the tree hollow that has now exploded outward in all directions. I'm unprotected. You're far enough away where I don't think it would get to you.

That's for stealth. 11. 11, okay. That's okay. You take half damage. If you take so much more. You take three points of blud'll say bludgeoning damage from pieces of wood flying in your direction. The troll is, however, knocked prone. Yay!

In the blast. Okay. It's harder to hit from a distance at the moment. That is true. Oh no. From a distance, yeah, okay. However. I need everyone to roll initiative.

You can also hold your tag and stand up. We have the surprise. We did this to ourselves. Well, hey! He's aware that you guys are there now. Aw. You think? So we'll say for the purposes of this,

I'll give you each one action to do something. Okay. Not me, I did my action. I like that the blast didn't knock him down, he was just so scared to death. He's like. All righty. 25 to 20. 21. 20. Natural 20 on his.

Ooh. All righty. Great. Sorry, Caleb is 20? 21. 21. Oh. And Nott was it?

20. All right. Oh, oh. Where's that music, Matt? I just want to know that you're first all the time. What? I just want to know what's your roll. That's true, we don't have that.

I'm always like, doo! Hear it? There you go. All righty, 20 to 15? 19. Oh, man. Oh boy. 15 to 10? 19. Oh man. Oh boy. 15 to 10? 14.

There you go, come on. 12. Yeah! Moving on up! 10 to five? Seven. What you got, Fjord? Fjord got a four.

A fjord. Bye, guys. A fjord by Fjord. Fjord, Fjord, Fjord got a four. A fjord. Bye, guys. A fjord by four. Fjord, fjord, fjord. So, acting is a surprise round. The troll cannot act this turn. We'll just let it go that way, because he will be going up with you, Caleb,

on the same turn. He's on the ground, dazed and stunned. So what are you doing? Ooh, firebolt goes from my hand. And that is a natural 20. Ooh! Yeah! Yeah!

With my Vex die, we will use this one. That is a three. Vax, sounds like Vex with his accent. 11 down to 22. 22 points of fire damage. Ooh! Nice. The bolt's impact, you watch as the flame curls across

his now currently black blasted chest and back area. The flames tend to, as you noticed previously in the previous battle, has prevented his regeneration. Oh, I didn't actually even want to come here! He can't regenerate? He can't. Not from fire. They do normally, though.

Fire! Through the battles you've had and watching from the previous strike, you now notice them on the ground, the impact, and as the time progresses over the next round, the wounds are not knitting themselves back together. So that finishes your turn, you can move or? No, I'll stay where I am. All righty, finishing Caleb's go.

Nott, you're up. Oh, okay, I'll shoot my crossbow and miss with a nine. All right, you have disadvantage because he's currently prone. Disadvantage? Yes. I already missed. I just wanted to see if it rolls lower. Still a nine. You have disadvantage, because he's currently prone. Disadvantage? I already missed. Still a nine. Okay, good to know. All right, so that's your first shot. Misses.

Oh, I get another one? Let me let you guys do a full surprise wrap, because technically he's dazed. Oh, that's no good. 13? 13 does not hit. Oh no! It manages to ricochet off of the outer parts of its hide, even though it's burned, scarred, it's still thick. You watch as the bolt just reflects off of it. Molly, you're up, and then Beau. I'm going to come up from behind my little tree right there just a little bit so I can see him,

and I'm going to try and enthrall him, because I don't have any really good stuff that I can do from a distance. From a distance. From a distance. Spell DC on that because that's charisma based. It's a 10, correct? Is it charisma based? That's right. All your racial abilities are charisma based. I get so because it says wisdom, I get so. That is a 12, so it does not succeed.

It does not succeed? No, sorry, I mean, it does succeed. You're meaning your ability does not succeed. All right. That's your action. You still have 25 feet of movement, I mean, it does succeed. No, 12 damage. Meaning your ability does not succeed. Oh, man. All right. That's your action. You still have 25 feet of movement, if you want to do anything.

I'm just actually going to stand out, I'm going to move a couple feet out, and right there, and just start yelling at him, hey, you fucker, we got more than that. Come on, bring it! I don't know what I'm doing! It's too much caffeine! Fuck!

Perfect, okay. And Nott, you wanted to move Wyrm? Wyrm's gross! That all happened in there. That all happened. All righty. All right, that finishes Molly's turn. Beau, you're up.

Good thing nobody in the world saw that. Yeah. I'm going to move up my speed pretty far, because I think I have to be within 20 feet for these darts. Ball start. Offense. Yeah, keeping on the green, you can get about there, and he's within 20 feet of you. You will not get within close range of him again.

I'm not. I know. You are just inching up. I have throwing darts that only go 20 feet. I'm a melee fireman. He stole you last time. You should have PTSD from this. Have you met Beau?

You're right. Okay, first. All right, you have disadvantage on the attacks because he is prone. Oh, right, okay, first attack. Okay, 19. 19 hits. On the first one.

Oh! We celebrated too soon, a natural 20 and a seven. So 14. 14 misses, unfortunately, but the first strike does hit. Just get up there and grapple him, and I'll send projectiles. That sucks. Four damage. Four points of damage to the troll. Missed me the ki point. As you throw it, you watch as it splinters off of his body, and there's a splash of

poisonous toxin. He's got a rock in his face. Yep, like a pebble. It's like a pebble. I'm going to use a ki point to do Patient Defense. All right, you go into your defensive stance, preparing for any sort of assault towards you. Yasha, you're up.

Did I go my full speed? I want to get close. Did I go my full speed? No, you didn't. Can I move back a little? If you want to, yeah. Yes. I'm going to go back. Shanay my full speed? No, you didn't. Can I move back a little? If you want to. Yes. I'm going to go back.

Sha-nay-nay. One more, that's good. All right, there you go. Yasha. I don't want to move close to it, so may I hold my action till it gets... This is like a surprise attack.

I know, it's like a surprise attack. I just don't have any ranged weapons or anything, so I can go up and hit him. Ah! Up to you. If you don't move, you don't get to move later until your next turn, so if you're going to move, do it now, and then hold your action for whatever trigger you want.

Okay, so let me just move around by bow. Like over here? Yeah. Next to bow. Okay. Next to bow. All right, and you're holding an attack? I'm holding an attack. Okay, so you're readying an attack. Yeah.

So for whenever it comes, for what? What's the trigger? Whenever it comes. Comes within range? Yeah. Got it, okay. That finishes Yasha's turn. Jester, you're up.

That's me! I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon right above it! Right above it, nice. And it's going to hit him! All right. Go ahead and roll for your attack. It's not at disadvantage because it's melee, right? Correct, technically it's at advantage because it is prone.

Ooh! I imagine it would consider it a melee attack, so yeah. Ooh! 19 plus something, so that definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage on that. Okay, that's 1d8, because I did it wrong before. 1d8, so that's five plus seven. All right, 12 points of damage as the lollipop

whacks, slams down onto its body, and rears back. This awkward, sickly-looking creature being bashed by a beautiful, glistening divine lollipop. It's a unique visual. And then I'm going to use my bonus action to ring a spiritual bell at Tom. Use your bonus action for the spirit and then use your action for the... Yes, that's what I mean.

So we've got to make a wisdom save of 15. Wisdom or constitution? Wisdom. Wisdom, all right. That is going to be a four. So that's 2d12!dom, all right. That is going to be a four. Yeah! So that's 2d12! Yeah, it is. Yes. Rock it.

Woo! 14! 14, nice! Making up for last week! Apparently. All righty, that ends Jester's go for it. And then I'm going to, um. Oh, you just want to move? Go.

I'm going to stay right there. All righty, Fjord, you're up. I'll move forward 10 feet, and I'm going to, with my bonus action, cast Hex. All righty. On him. For strength checks. Strength checks are denied onto him with disadvantage. And I'll launch two Eldritch Blasts in his direction.

Go for it, both with disadvantage. Oh, okay, yeah, that's a 10 on the first one. That's going to miss. Misses over top. And 12, 19 to hit. That does hit, gurgle damage. Woo hoo! That's a three plus seven, seven points of damage. Seven points of damage.

Oh, wait, wait, and a de-sec, whatever. De-secs from your, don't forget that. Another four. Total of 10. He's dead, right? He Another four. Total of 10. He's dead, right? He's dead. 11, technically. Does he look rough?

He's looking pretty rough. I think he was born looking rough, I don't know. No, I got it. I mean, he looks hurt. All right, top of the round. Caleb and the troll going at the same time. Because you're going to the same time with the enemy, go ahead and roll a dexterity check.

Just roll a d20, add your dexterity modifier. I reckon, no. That is a seven. Seven, he's going before you. Of course. Gets up into space. All right, so it's Kath's movement. He's so ugly. All right, 10, 15.

Ha ha ha! Don't laugh yet. Yeah, he's going to use an action to go ahead and dash forward into both of you. Oh no. Oh no. Oh damn. Runaways.

That's okay. Just don't. Oh, we can't fucking hit him. No, we can't attack him until you guys move. Actually, no, he's not. He's going to stay there. Yay. Instead, he's going to use his venom spray.

Oh. So as it lumbers forward, darkened with angry, blasted soot and flame scars, it humbles towards you a strange bulbous midsection wobbling as it steps through the swamp towards you. Looks like an even more swollen Meg Mucklebones from Legend. Reaches up with his claw and tears a giant wound across his chest. As it does, you watch as dark green venomous liquid sprays out a 15-foot cube in front of it, hitting both of you. I need you both to make a constitution saving throw, please.

It takes seven points of damage from its own claw. We had to have 100 gold, didn't we? Does my patient offense do anything here? Nope. This is not about the gold. 16? This is a reckoning. Just a straight roll, yeah? Yeah. 11.

Okay, you just make it. The DC was 16. I feel like I made it. So I made it. No. So you say there's a chance. You're telling me there's a chance. All righty. That is exactly the median.

18 points of poison damage to you, Yasha, and you are poisoned for one minute. Oh no. Oh no! You take nine points of poison damage, Beau, and you are not poisoned. Okay. But you can save against that, right?

Every turn? Yep, at the end of each turn, it can repeat itself. Same as we were trying to get rid of the poison. and you are not poisoned. Okay. But you can save against that, right? Every turn? Yep, at the end of each turn, you can repeat it. Same as we were trying to get rid of the poison. Okay. That's going to end its turn. Next, Caleb. Yeah, okay, so I'm going to keep it simple.

I will move as close as I can, probably getting close to Mollymauk. Right there? Yeah, and I will just hit him with some magic, no. Is he within splashing range of you all? Did you just get hit? Yeah, he was within 15 feet of us. Yeah, I'll hit him with magic missile.

All right, what level? The basic level. Oh yeah. So three missiles, 3d4 plus three, go ahead and roll that up, and then Nott, you're up next. Three, four, okay. Begay, begay, begay. Three, four,

eight, eight, eight, 11 total. 11? Yeah. All righty. Finishing that, Caleb, your turn's over. Nott, what you doing? I will fire once. Am I at disadvantage already? Nope.

I still missed 11. That does miss, unfortunately. Are we seeing sprays when he gets hit by these things, by the way? Is he? With each magic missile and we watch and the spray is still jumping off of its body in these very proximity-based sprays of terrible toxins.

So yeah, it still happened. And can I scoot back behind that tree to the west? Make another one attack? I'll make another one when I get over there. Over here? And can I go farther around, just as far around as I can? Go there, yeah. As you're rushing past.

Okay, that one hits. 19 plus something. This is not a sneak Okay, that one hits. 19 plus something. This is not a sneak attack, though. Correct. Poo. Six points of damage. Points of damage to it. As the bolt sticks in the back,

you watch as one of its bulbous pustules sprays venom behind it, impacting nothing in its proximity. How far does it look like the pustule spray? Between five and ten feet, you're not entirely certain from your visible standpoint, because you're nearly behind a tree with partial cover. All right, that finishes Nott's turn. Molly, you're up, and then Beau, you're on deck. How far can I move in one?

30 feet. Okay. I'm going to head in the direction of this creature. I'm going to stay about... Actually, let's try something ridiculous. How much damage, you took a lot of damage from that spray, right? Nine, not as much as Yasha. 18.

All right, this'll be fun. Let's run up to it, see how close I can get. All right, in order to make it with your distance, you're going to have to leap across that bit of open swamp water? I'm going to try and leap at that just north of me to see if I can get over here, then, by the spiritual weapon. By the spiritual weapon? If I can leap there. That'll be the rest of your movement. You'll be right there, and that'll be the rest of your movement. You won't be, you'll be right there, and that'll be the end of your movement. That's fine, at least it'll hopefully

give us everybody some flanking. Okay, make an athletics check. All right. That's a four. So that's five, 10, 15. Spoosh. You trip and fall down to your knees in the water. I'm going to throw the 25,

and that's about as far as you can move. That's as far as I can move? You can make an action attack if you want. I'm going to hold my action in case he comes within fighting distance. Okay, you're holding your attack. I'm holding my attack. Got it.

Can I do anything with my bonus? Yeah, because you guys go one after the other. Can't do anything with my bonus? Yeah, because you guys go one after the other. Can't do anything with my bonus. Okay, is that your turn? Yeah, I think that ends my turn. Beau, you're up. Look at Yasha. Yeah? Yeah.

All right, and I pull out my oil flask, and I just undo it, and I douse him with oil. Like, power of the Christ compels you style. You're going to drink it. Your first attempt to spray it, it dissipates in front of you. Throw it at him! You can't throw it 15 feet to land on his body

to any effect, so you're going to have to throw the actual. All right, go ahead and roll a d20 plus your dexterity modifier. Okay. You made a dex. I'm... No, you're not. Wow.

It's 15 feet away. Eight. No, no. It sees it coming towards and goes past its head and you hear it somewhere in the distance. You glance past it and you can see there's a pile of skulls and bones that were previously charred from the impact

that currently now are doused in oil. That didn't go as planned. Yeah, sorry. Do you want to move? I'm going to step back. SAM and LAURA and SAM and LAURA and SAM. How much full movement? Right. As far as you can, get as far as you can.

Yeah, a little bit more. I'm going to go behind that tree as you can, get as far as you can. Yeah, a little bit more. I'm going to go behind that tree there. Yep, that's fine. All righty, that ends Beau's turn. End of Beau, Yasha, you're up. Okay, can I, I know we can't go up and slash, and that's all I can do, but can I? You're just going to take damage.

I can't do it, I'll just take damage. I'm already low. Oh, we had a full, we healed up. We got a full nature. We got a long rest. No, I'm just, I'm already nervous. Okay, could I take a torch and throw it at him? Sure, I'll let you do that, yeah.

Maybe there's some oil. Maybe there's some oil. You who are still holding your tinderbox from lighting the dynamite earlier go, pull out of your pack, pull out a torch. It begins to burn. Roll a d20, add your dexterity modifier. Come on.

Roll better than five! Yeah, do better than me! On fire. Oh no! Oh no! Seven! Damn it! Does it at least land where the oil landed?

It does. You see behind a pile of freshly dampened, oil-covered skulls, it burns like a nice little bonfire behind them. Any other hints? It looks at it and looks back at you about as incredulously as a troll can. Okay.

Really? So I'm going to go. I'm going to go back as far as I can. I should have actually rolled disadvantage on that, but it would have been the same series. Yeah, we still would have sucked. Still would have been shit. Welcome to the Jester roll.

There is a tiny burning card right now. Failure. I roll for a save on the poison? You do it, the end of your turn. Make a constitution saving throw. Okay. I feel like that would have been really cool in theory. It would have been.

17. 17, but you managed to shrug off in theory. It would've been. 17. 17, but you managed to shrug off the poison. Yeah, good. Good call. Which is good. All right, that ends Yasha's turn. Jester, you're up. From out of the flames comes the spiritual weapon.

Yes! Provided it's going to come up and just spank him on the butt. Heavy metal lollipop. Lollipop. Lollipop. Ooh. 14.

14 just misses. It strikes across its shoulder, but glances off and slams into the wet, sickening swamp floor with a sound. It actually has to pull itself out by wedging back and forth. Come on. I pop out from behind the tree and says,

I was aiming for your butt, and then I'm going to cast Guiding Bulge at level three. What? Oh shit, all right, go ahead and roll your attack. Attack. Yes. Damn it, fucker, brother bitch. No, it doesn't hit. There's a lot of threes in this game right now.

Yeah. You watch as behind. Woo! Oh no! It's got a mate! The tree blasts back from the guiding bolt slamming into it. It appeared to have been already rotted to the roots, needed just that one final nudge,

and the tree behind rubs roots itself and falls. Did you guys see how powerful that was? So powerful. Super powerful. I'm going to run away. I'm going to turn around and run the other direction. This direction? Yep. That's about as far as you can get. Yep, right there. Super powerful! I'm going to run away. I'm going to turn around and run the other direction. Yep. That's about as far as you can go.

Yep, right there. All right, that ends Jester's turn. Fjord, you're up. I'm going to move over here, five, 10, 15. Going closer? Yeah, and I'm going to cast Witch Bolt at it. Go for it, level one? Level three, whatever it is, yeah.

3d12, well, I got rolled a hit first. 16? 16 does hit. That was the first battle. Hi, d12, I missed you. One. Oh man! Bummer. Ten. 18, 18 points. That's not bad. That's good, that's good!

Lightning damage, 18 lightning. Plus a d6 because it has hex on it. Thank you for the reminder. Two! Solid 20 points. 20 points of damage. We're putting this on there for Witch Bolts, whenever if you wanted to use your action again, you can go ahead and continue to hit it every turn

for a d12 automatically. All right, so now you see this S as Fjord steps around the corner and releases this arcing bolt of purplish-black energy, this lightning arcs off and slams into the troll and you watch as the energy continues to swirl around it. It's curling around it. It tries to stop it and grasp for it to no effect. You can see there's this strange thread

of faintly visible energy between it and Fjord right now. There's some sort of connection between the two of them. All right, that ends your turn for me? It does. Are you in love with him? The troll's going to go first, because it rolled higher than Caleb. Immediately it turns.

No! No, it's real angry at him, because it just got hexed, blasted, and then bolted him. It's going to go ahead and bypass the shiny swords right there. Does it get close enough for me to take a swing? Ten, it does. Swing, swing. 15, 20 there.

I just get two attacks, right? You were holding your action, so you get two attacks. All right. Actually, I'm just going to use the good sword. It doesn't matter. That's awful, and that's pretty good. So that's 11 that misses, and it's 19 that hits. That does hit. So that's 1d6 plus 1d4, 2d6 now, that's right. Correct. So that's... That's not bad, six.

That's ten points of damage. Ten points of damage to it. It did heal up a bit, too, from that. So ten points of damage. As you strike damage to it. It did heal a little bit too from that. So 10 points of damage. As you strike it with one blade, miss with another, immediately as you strike across it with your blade, the venom splashes into your face. You suffer 13 points of poison damage.

Oh! Then it moves out of your combat range. You can still take your reaction if you want. I will take my reaction. 13 points of damage? Yep. That's fine. This is what I'm good for, I'm taking it. 100 gold! 100 gold, natural 20.

Shit! All right. New die. It's a pretty gold die. It is a pretty gold die. I'm going to borrow a d6 from you. Does the fact that I'm using the, like what effect I have matter now? It's not going to be undead.

It's 2d6 plus and then double whatever you roll. Yeah, so it's 4d6 plus or plus whatever you roll. Yeah, if you wanted to do it that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Ooh, that pretty much is the same thing. Yes! Oh, that's crazy. 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 points of damage. Ooh!

Thank you. Wow! As you carve past with a third final swing towards it, you watch as you cut through a portion of muscle and tendon on its arm there, which immediately slips dull to one side, unmoving. The spray splashes back in your face for only five points of poison damage.

Okay. Hit me, it'll. It's coming into you. As soon as that arm goes limp, the muscles reconnect and the arm comes back with strength. We're not doing fire damage. It's going to swing, it's going to take

bite and two claw attacks against you. He's also going to, of course, Curse of the Eyeless. You can't, you already used your reaction to attack. Oh, that was my reaction, never mind. Sorry, buddy. That's all right. All can't, you already used your reaction to attack. Oh, that was my reaction, never mind. Sorry, buddy. That's all right, it's all right. All right, so for its bite attack against you, its jaws open for.

That's going to be a cock, because that was on my face. That is going to be a 26. That hits. All right, so you take, ooh, 10 points of piercing damage. Okay. Plus six points of poison damage. Okay. Plus six points of poison damage. Good deal.

You are poisoned until the start of its next turn. Happy to be so. As the venom courses through your veins, its teeth and giant tusks dug into the front of your shoulder and chest. The pain is strong, but it's holding you fast, and from there, like a clawed wolverine, it begins to just rake at your chest

with its claws on each side. The first one's going to be a 16 to hit. That misses. Right, because you have your shield out. The shield blocks one of the claws, the other one attempts to reach behind it to get to your body. That's going to be a 19. That hits. All righty, and so with the other claw strike. Is he grappled? No, he is not. That is nine plus four. 13 points of slashing damage. That hits. All righty, and so with the other claw strike. Is he grappled?

No, he is not. That is nine plus four, 13 points of slashing damage. Oh! I mean, ugh. And another three points of poison damage. Jeez Louise, yep. That's going to end its turn. Run away!

Run away! Caleb, you're up. Oh, this thing is way closer than I was prepared for. I take a little bit of molasses and rub it on my hands and say, slow down, you boys have got this good, and I start to back away, casting Slow as I go. All right. I loop around by Clarick.

All righty, I'll let you there. It has to beat Wisdom save against 16. Wisdom save? Yeah. All righty. That is a 14 minus one, 13, no. What does that do to it? It slows him, I think. It's not movement,

he can only make a single attack on its turn. Oh. That's good. You can do an attack or a bonus, but not both. Look at all those. Can you do a reaction? I need you to make two concentration checks by the end of the round. This is going to be flow.

With advantage, it's going to work out. Well, actually, your hex would be gone, technically, because. Oh, that's right. Yeah, so it's off. Which is my fault. It's my fault. Yeah, hex is gone, and make a constitution statement for us to see if you're maintaining your witcher bolt. That's an 11, that one saves.

And that's a four, yeah, they both save. All righty, get on. Oh, you know, it was actually, I'll erase it. DM, it was a- I think it was four, you can add four hit points, so I, it was actually. I'll erase it. DM, it was a. I think it was four, you can add four hit points, so I think it was the last hex demon. It was a cube, but Caleb, knowing that, would put the troll in the corner

and send the rest of it in that direction. So I assume to send. That is. Okay. Can't use reactions. Correct. Oh, good. Yep. Yeah.

Okay. All right, Caleb, to finish your turn? Yeah. Nott, you're up. Is it in melee with good old Fjord? It is. Oh, thank god. I mean, not for you. Faster. I'll run up within 30 feet. All righty, you move.

Oh no. 30, there you go. And fire. Go for it. Cha-choo! Ooh, good, it's a lot, 20-something. That hits, go ahead and roll damage. It's hurt real bad now.

Ah, good! Okay, so that's 13 plus four is 17. 17 points of damage. And splash, Fjord, you take nine points of poison damage. Cool. Right in your face as the bolt slashes through. My eyes! I forgot about that. Let it stop you not, my friend. Not?

Wait, do let it stop me or don't? It's all not barely. It's right there. Bangling, making a last hit. Cock again and fire again. Dan, it's even more! So 20-something to hit. Okay, go ahead and roll damage. Only six points. Six points.

Still alive. Fjord, you take another 13 points of points in damage. I do? Oh no. Hit it again! Oh no! Oh, I killed something! I killed something! I killed something!

Wait, nobody hit it, because Fjord's going to take serious damage. Just hit it! It's standing there, heavily breathing. Yeah, you'll keep taking damage. Oh no, I use my relentless endurance to. You do. The orc comes to, the blood of the half-orc kicks in, and you stand there angrily in its face.

Fjord, Madeline, comms, back to life. All righty, that finishes Nott's turn. Nobody else said it. Molly, you're up. Nobody else said it? Fjord, run! Just a bit. I'm going to walk up, and I'm going to flank it, so I get it. Fjord, run! Just a bit. Fjord! I'm going to walk up and I'm going to flank it. So I get advantage.

There it is. You're up to your waist in swamp water, looking up at it as you push. I don't know if that's how it works. I'm going to take a hit. Oh, it's a zits, just burst. Oh, that's true. That's 17, 18, 20.

20, that hits. All right, and that's nine points of damage. How do you want to do it? Ah! Lucky man. Yes! I just want to get the new sword, push, let it bend, and pop into it.

Ooh! As you stab through its body, it tries to spin, and you watch as this strange tensing of its abdominal muscles and its weird bulbous stomach suddenly burst out in front of you. I'm down. Yeah, you take ten points of poison damage. That was so cool! It looked almost like Molly killed them both.

Oh god. Two birds, Molly. I like it. Good one, no. Two birds, Molly, I like it. Good one, Molly. All right. Fjord will remember. Fjord is currently unconscious in the ground, guys. What are you doing? And he's poisoned, too, isn't he? As far as you know.

Does it go away? I'll use a bonus action to give him a, I've got a bonus action. I'm going to give him an auto-cure, just in case. Okay, so go ahead and roll a constitution saving throw. Make a saving throw to resist it. The snake tattoo on my hand, the eye on the back of my hand just bursts and blood comes pouring out of it. I take two points of damage. That is a 20. Does that make it? I didn't need the amplifier. Oh, actually, that's right, I don't have to take damage for that.

You're in full on stigmata right now? Yeah. You watch as where the snake is, the blood bursts, and you watch as the green venom that's coursing through the wounds in Fjord's unconscious body suddenly siphons out and hovers in the air for a moment as Mollymauk is holding his hand, and the poison just drops to the ground and disseminates into the swamp. That is so cool. Next one. Oh god!

He's throwing rocks up at the swamp. I've never done that before. What are you guys doing? Fjord is still unconscious. The poison's gone, but he's... I'll walk up to Fjord, and I'll cast Cure Wounds at level one. Whenever you heal anyone, it feels like a bother. I know, it's so begrudgingly. He'll tap his head and be like, wake up already. Okay.

Just to be sure, I'm going to dig around and make sure this is true death on this thing and it's not going to start regenerating. Does it look like it's regenerating at all? Make a perception check. I'll start looking for the gold. Oh, you beat me to it. You can come join me. I join Nott.

You guys begin to make your way over to the 12. The skulls. I'm faster. I break one fast. I'm going to hit fast. Judy, come out! Curious against the runaround. I'm joining over still healing. Geordi, come out! Geordi begins to run around, joining over here in the swamp here. Don't stab the corpse this time, it's poisonous.

He's poisonous. Good. You're looking down at it and watching as parts of the wounds are still tethering together. I'm going to gently. It hasn't come back to your turn yet, unfortunately. It's turns before that. You watch

as it suddenly comes up from the ground, pulling itself from the swamp, still now conscious once more. It's going to take another heavy swing towards Fjord with advantage because you're prone. Did you already cure wounds? That's going to be 20 to hit. Thanks, Jester. That's going to be seven points of piercing damage and two points of poison. Fjord falls unconscious once more.

Is this Link? Yeah. I'm back, I'm back. See? Time is weird. I'm not a... I feel like I should have had an, oh well, that's fine. Well, it comes back around to the next turn. Ah, six seconds go quick.

As soon as it comes back, it heals 10 hit points back up, so it came to consciousness. Just enough movement to get it prone, knock Fjord down, it's going to go ahead and make another swipe at Fjord. Can it do that if it's slowed? No, it can't. Is it still slowed? It's still slowed, yeah. make another swipe at Fjord. Can it do that if it's slowed? No, it can't.

Is it still slowed? It's still slowed, yeah. Oh my god. Oh man. Wow, you just saved Fjord. That was two death saving throws right there. Yeah, it was. And it had a third attack.

And it had another one. But it doesn't anymore. But it doesn't anymore. Yes. It's like walking on the edge of a cliff in the middle of the night and you didn't know how far the drop was and you're just toeing the edge. No idea what was on the other side. Fjord is unconscious. Brings us back to Caleb. It's now your turn.

Oh, is it? Oh, goodness. This is difficult. It's got back up and it just Fjord's unconscious again. Is there a way for anything that can push it back? DM, in everything that I've seen, when fire has been used on this creature, did it splurt? It seemed to. Any sort of damage this creature, did it splurt? It seemed to. It seemed to splurt when I used fire. Any sort of damage seemed to cause it to splurt.

Fire also did bad things to it. And it didn't regenerate. I know, but Fjord is right under it. Just do it. Get Fjord out of there. It was its turn, and now we're back at the round, so it's going to have another turn immediately? No.

No, that was its turn, it just took, so now we're going back to the initiative order. Full turn and it can't react. So hold your attack, because I'll pull Fuller away. And I'll... And I can move, I'll be fine. We all get a full turn before anything happens. So Caleb shuts out, should I burn this thing now?

Wait one second! Hold on. All right, hold on a moment. Hold on, just checking slow. Ah! Flip the Liar Booth. No! This has suddenly become the most complicated fight we've ever had. You have to make it with some saving throw

to see if it can avoid slow. Yeah. No, roll a three. Ah, sorry buddy. So Caleb, what are you doing? Yeah, I just yelled, should I burn it? And Jester yelled, wait. Wait, wait, wait, hold!

I'm going to hold the Glove of Blasting. Okay, what are you doing? I'm going to burn it glove of blasting. Okay, what are you doing? I'm going to burn it the moment Fjord is in the clear. Okay, so you're holding until Fjord is clear from its body, got it, okay. That brings us to Nott. Nott, what are you doing? You turn around and watch as the trolls now back up

and slam its claw into Fjord's now, once again, unconscious body. Hold until it's clear. Okay, ah, ah, ah! Just so we're clear. Okay. I want to so bad. Am I within 30 feet? Currently, you can very easily get within 30. I'll get within 30 feet and then hold my action to shoot. You step around the flaming pile of skulls right there and turn to get another bolt and. You're waiting to shoot. You step around the flaming pile of skulls right there and turn and get another bolt and.

You're holding? I'm holding the attack until it looks like it's safe to do so. Okay, holding attack until Fjord's safe. Until Fjord's gone, yeah. You got it, all right, Molly, your turn. I obviously can't hit it, so I mean. You got here.

I'm going to just, I suppose, get its attention, peace out, and I'm going to Misty Step. Ooh. Okay. Where do you want to go? I can go 30 feet. 30 feet? Yep. Who get the shinies before Nott.

I'm going to head to the shinies. I'm going to Misty Step next to Yadav. Right behind the fire. You won't. I just need visual and just, no, there's nothing I can do. All right, they finished Molly's turn. Beau, you're up. Are the two of you going to try and drag, or do you want to try and attack,

and Yasha and I can try and drag? Whatever. Figure it out, guys, it's your turn. I'm going to run up. I know me and Yasha are together. I'm going to cast Step of the Wind to give myself double movement, or use a ki point. 25, 30, you don't even have to to get to it.

I'm trying to get to Fjord. Oh, to get to Fjord, sorry. 40, 50, 55, 60. Well, I would have gone a straight way, but yeah. Instead of that, it seems10. Step of the Wind. I have double my movement. Yeah, that's your... Okay, and I'm going to grab onto him

and I'm going to turn to Yasha and I'm going to say, help me, and I'm going to pull when she gets up to it. Okay, so you spend an action just to hold onto him. You currently have him grappled. I'm going to pull when she gets up. Okay, got it. I'm going to help her pull him out. Okay.

Yasha. Sorry, move forward, grab the other side. Of Fjord? That she doesn't have, yeah. Over here? And pull him. All right, so you move up her, action, and you're going to pull him away. All righty, you are not in his melee range,

so you manage to pull him back here. Fjord, you shift back. Well, he has no reaction. I know he doesn't. Yeah. So you pull him back, Fjord is now right there. How far back can we pull him? I want to assist her, though. Can we get him further if I assist?

That was the whole point of me doing that. It gets a little wonky with action, but I'll let you do it. Okay. With the speed you have left, you guys can pull him about there, I'll say. If not, if she can handle him. Well, it's half speed through the swamp,

and then it's half speed dragging somebody. It's a slow shift because you're moving through the muck and dragging him out of this thick swamp. That's as far as you can get. It does not get any reaction, though, because it's currently still affected by the slow spell. It looks like right now Fjord is in a position where he's outside of the splash radius,

which would trigger Caleb and Nott. What are you doing? Caleb? Firing. Yep, go for it. You fire and you are using the Scorching Ray from the glove. Yeah, first is a 20, second is an 18, and the third is a 20. All hit? They all hit. 22 to hit for me, but it's not a sneak attack?

No, there's nobody in range of it right now. Five points. That's a hit for me, but it's not a sneak attack? No, there's nobody in range of it right now. Five points. Five points of damage, still conscious. Kill him, kill him, kill him. Five points, if you get more than five points, he's dead. I did. A total of 27.

How do you want to do this? Oh, there it is. I am with these people. And I am going to do this. There you are. Oh, there it is. I am with these people. And I am going to burn his head off. There we go. As you turn, the gloves sparkling as you release these three blasts, one strikes this chest and ignites

this arm begins to burn black. This one hits the other shoulder and you watch as the torso begins to ignite. The third one finally hits right in the jaw and you see the outshadowed line of its face, its eyes and mouth open before incinerated to ash. Yay! Yes!

Make a wisdom saving throw, please. Saving throw? Mm-hmm. Oh. Oh shit, oh shit. Oh shit, Caleb. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. All right.

Caleb's arms fall slack and he slumps to his knees, staring at the now flaming corpse of the troll as it slumps into the ground and begins to burn, half submerged in swamp water, half of it now just this burning mass of ashen flesh. Wow. So. Are you alive? That was really graphic.

Oh, he's still alive. Are you dead or something? We got to wake him up now, because he's almost dead. Can I go over and I use another healing spell? 19. That would have been the end. I just like making a roll. I use Fear of Wounds on him again.

All right, go for that. Stop doing this. I feel like this is a rough day. Ooh, 11 points this time. I just, like, 11 points? I back up against the tree and sit there in the water, just breeches in the water, just not caring. 11 points.

All righty. Beau gets up, seeing Caleb a little bit messed up, and I'm going to go up to him and I'm just going to grab him and be like, let's take a walk. I'm going to... You pull him away. He's just not present currently. It's fine, I'm just walking with him,

just a little bit, slowly. Okay. I'm going to take my axe, and I'm going to try to cut out his heart. Okay. Just in case. All right. Very slowly, so it doesn't splatter. You have to wait a moment,

because currently the body is engulfed. Eventually the flames die down to the point where you can carve into its body, but most of its flesh is just burned. It's definitely dead. Make a medicine check. Go. Okay, okay, okay.

Lowkey, lowkey, lowkey. 12. 12? Okay, no. You manage to eventually hack away, get to where the Troll Heart would be, and carve it out without damaging it beyond any sort of interest. It's like a deep forest green.

It looks like it has half-formed additional ventricles and never fully completed. It's pretty disgusting. And you go to touch it, and your finger. I don't want to touch it. Okay. I was going to use my fabric and try to get it out. Like the cloth or something. You pull it out.

It is kind of corroding the cloth slowly. Does anybody have anything glass or metal? I have a little. Put it in there. No, I'm not going to do that. They can hold that. Why? It's hurting the coin set. It's like that big.

Come on, it's cool. It's about a basketball size. We can keep it. What are you going to lay there. They can hold that. Wait, it's hurting the poison! It's like that big. Come on, it's cool. It's about a basketball size. We can keep it! What are you going to do with that? You don't want that. I'm going to, hold on. I'm going to sit on the ground, I'm going to look through my stuff,

see if I have anything going on. I'm going to go through the skull. Do you want to join me going through the skulls right now? Well, I was going to go to Caleb's aid, but seeing Beau walk away with him, I just sort of nod and go back to looking through the skulls for Beau. Oh shit.

Okay, both you guys make investigation checks, you're still looking through the rest of that. Yasha, what are you doing? I'm just, yeah, you know what, I'm going to start walking over towards where the skulls are. Okay. What are we doing, an investigation? Yeah, do an investigation check.

20 for me. 20? 10. 10 for me. 20? 10. 10, okay. Unfortunately, the concussive blast of the dynamite shattered most of the bones and any materials that were in here, so it would have at one time been fairly easy to probably scavenge what remains.

You gather from the patches of now dried and destroyed swamp ground that much of it has been scattered all across. You do manage to find some coins between the two of you, mostly you, Nott, and it takes some digging. You're basically having to pan for gold here. You're going in the muck and having to sift through your fingers and pour your water out a bit,

take it to the water. You manage to find roughly 26 gold pieces, 10 silver pieces, and I would say about 50 copper pieces. A quarter of what we came back for, but sure. Does his body have a pouch on him at all? Can I search the body? The body of? The troll. Make an investigation check. Where's our bronze nasty body?

Any other items that weren't destroyed? 13. What's it? Sorry? 13. 13. There's basic hides wrapped around the midsection. There is a small pouch. You go inside and pull through and immediately your hands hit something that feels very cold and somewhat slimy. Looking inside, it looks like there are slivers of muscle. Yeah!

Like fresh muscle that had been torn off of some sort of a body, just laid in there. Probably the smell's a little bit putrid, it may have been in there pickling for a while. Hey Nott, I found some pickled muscle for you. Is it, what kind of species? The slimy kind. You can make a medicine check to try and identify.

Like a frying pickle? Oh man, the medicine checks are sucking. Ten. Ten. It's probably human. It's probably human. I'll take that. Caleb, you shrink out of it.

I'm going to take the hide and wrap it around, the hide that he had covering his the hide and wrap it around, the hide that he had covering his junk, and wrap it around the heart, because obviously it can take being splattered by venom. And that it does. The hide, in revealing the partially singed Troll Dong, you also manage to properly wrap the heart for its own use.

Yay! You're using a junk trap. Each campaign, each campaign. It's a through line, guys, it's a through line. Is it the dog? No, I think. I don't want the dog. There's no sense repeating.

So Fjord, what are you doing? I'm sitting there, watching Caleb and Yasha walk off and feel sorry for myself. Okay. Caleb, you manage to snap out of it and come back to reality. I hand him one skin and I say, here, this one's water.

This one's booze. Yeah. Take the water and I pour it out on one of my sashes and dab up his forehead a little bit. Okay. You all right? Yep. Cool.

Cool, cool, cool. Y'all mind if we take a short rest or something? Yeah, let's do that. There's a campfire over there that Yasha and I made with the oil and the torch that we threw. It's already done. It's by the skulls. It's a pile of bone and skull shards

that is still burning and will be burning for a while from the oil. It's cozy over here. It is. Can I get my oil flask back, too? Can I? No. Ah! That flask shattered on impact, sorry.

I'm going to roll three of my hit points. You guys go ahead and take a short rest. I'll give out all the gold. Whoa, you pass out the 26 gold? Yeah, so we all get three. We all get three gold pieces. I'm keeping the extras. The downside of throwing dynamite into the reward pile.

You know. I heal 39 points. I only have one hit, actually. All righty, so as you guys finish your short rest, you're feeling a little more collected, what do you wish to do? I guess we should go home, huh? I mean, back to the town.

Well, I mean, especially since we're now 100 gold richer. Mm-hmm. You look around and see Kairi sitting there with a knife and is stabbing the troll body. Don't stab the troll, it's poisonous. It will hurt you. It's not splashing venom, it looks like.

Kiri. I guess you just get it out of your system, then. That's fine. 26 and 10, so I'll take it. Are you done yet? This means we are friends. I think we're a bad influence on her. I don't think so.

Ciri, would you like some human jerky? Oh no, no, no, no, no, no! What, I thought birds might like that. No, don't eat human, Ciri. Don't stab humans and don't eat humans, okay? Don't stab humans, don't eat humans, okay? Okay. Unless you're really out of anything to eat,

then I suppose, you know, desperate time. Do what you have to. Well, I'm glad we did that. Shall we continue on our way? Are you okay, Fjord? You died twice. Yeah, I just meant to stay. Well, three times, because the first time

he snapped back up himself. That's true, three whole times. Yeah, yeah, that didn't go the way I planned. My strategy kind of went to shit. Do you still have the crazy eye thing in your stomach? In my stomach? I poke his stomach, does it feel like there's a hard thing in there?

No, seems classic Fjord's stomach. Just these abs, babe. Can't feel anything classic as steel. You feel all six of them. Eight of them. Eight of them. Nine? Nine. Nine strong.

That is a, what do you call this? Oh shit, hernia. All right, I guess we'll just keep going. Yeah, we should probably head back to his house. Oh wait, did they ever come back from their little walk? Yeah, imagine we went back. Yeah, you shook it off. Yeah. Shook it off.

He's great. How are you, Caleb? Good, I'm good. You went to a, you just, you faded away there for a second, are you okay? What happened? You're good? Okay.

He gets weird when he kills people, when he burns them. He did it before. I mean, you don't have to. I think anyone would, really. I don't know if Carrie would. She'd probably be cool with it. But Fjord is still here, so that is the important thing.

Let's focus on the good things in our lives. Yeah, thank you, Caleb. Appreciate that. You took care of the problem. I mean, I feel like those two aren't mutually exclusive or anything, but yeah. Let's start walking. All right. This is just getting awkward. All right, so you guys continue making your way back towards Berylben. You've made most of the

journey, and by the time the sky begins to subtly grow dark with the threat of dusk imminent in the next hour or so, you guys begin to make visual on the lantern lights on the outskirts of the northern side of the city. So, within a short time, before it gets too dark in the swamp, you manage to make your way inside Beryl Ben Proper. We did it!

You're still in the puddles. Other than that bougie, terrible, underground situation. Did you just say bougie? Oh god, never mind, I don't like you again. Yeah, I think there is other spots. That was pretty bougie. Yeah, we were in the bad parts of town. We can go to the nice parts of town.

What is this word, bougie? Like when you want to try and seem fancy, but it's a little ostentatious. Is that a common word? It's a word that people use when they want to sound ostentatious about how ostentatious something is. It's short for bourgeois, which is like super ostentatious. The word for that is like seven syllables long.

That's ostentatious. I'm going to cast Sending. Oh, you're going to send the message? What's the message? Completed first half of mission? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Send money? Well... Let's collect when we get back.

I'm going to cast Sending and send a message to the gentleman. Safe house cleared. Okay. You cannot respond though, right? You can reply to this message. Oh, I can't answer in like manner immediately? Yeah, so I'm going to say, hey, Mr. Gentleman, we found your safe house, we cleared it out of a bunch of fish people.

Don't worry, everything's fine now, okay? We also found a troll in the swamp, we killed that too. And we also found some crocodiles. Please respond to this. If you need anything, let us know. And his agent is dead. His person out here is dead. And your agent out here,

the guy with the no teeth, is dead. Okay, well, seeing as the spell's limit is 25 words. There's a moment where you hear in your mind a familiar voice of the gentleman going, I think I catch your juice. Well done. Keep truckin'. With a confused rise at the end. He interrupted me while I was telling him what to do.

There's so much more to say. There's so much more, but I think he got the idea. We'll get the bonus. There's that person who keeps trying to record the voicemail and gets cut off. Re-record. One more time, one more time. I'm trying to send an email. How does this work, all caps? As you guys are having this conversation, near one of the lanterns, you see a cloaked figure

that's sitting on a bench, and they stand up and face you. They begin to walk towards you. Wait, we're in the tavern? You're walking through the puddles of the city. Scatter, scatter! No. Take to the sewers! The figure approaches.

We have somebody in the tech sneeze, I think. Can I grab my staff a little bit? All it takes is ruin everything. I know. All I can see is something go. The figure approaches and pulls the hood back and you see a scruffy chin, the unkept hair, a dirtier but seemingly excited Horus,

thrive. Oh my god, Horus! Oh, he's not dead! Well, a word of a motley group of strangers spreads in whispers, and I knew it had to be you based on the description. My friends, you've come this way. This place is miserable.

Oh, do not think that I don't appreciate what you've done for me, please. No, you're right on the nose. It's pretty miserable. Yeah, this place sucks. As rough as this journey was, I'd rather be here than in a prison, so. What word of Zadash has come? Is Dolan all right?

He's fine. He was sitting pretty next to the other diplomats of the town. Yeah, he seemed like he was doing pretty good when he saw them. Except, of course, that they're making ready for war. I've heard whispers of that as well. Did you see that crazy army right by? There was a lot of horses.

A lot. I've been here for over a week, so no, but I'm sure there was. How long should I stay? What is the current atmosphere there? Oh, that is a big question mark at the moment. It's chaotic. Is it safe to return, or should I hang low a little longer?

You know what, it might be, because I think they decided to charge other people with the crimes and stuff, so. The gates were pretty heavily watched, though. Are they still, though? Are they? At war? I don't remember. Can we watch, though? Are they still, though? Are they? They have more? I don't remember.

Perhaps wait until you receive word from him. Okay, I'll remain in this quaint city. Well, he has a better eye on the situation than we do. He's right in the thick of it now. It's true, I'll be patient. Thank you, I thank you all so much. I really do. She's right in the thick of it now. It's true, I'll be patient. Thank you, I thank you all so much. I really appreciate it.

Horus, do you have a lot of diamonds on you? Maybe some that are worth 300? So thirsty. No, no I don't. But if I do, I'll let you know. I'm on the lookout, okay? I genuinely wish to make this up to you at some point. If it is diamonds you require, I'll begin looking.

Do you know of anywhere in town where they might have that many diamonds? He stops and looks around the city and goes, I don't know if this is the place. Call me crazy, but. Is there anything of use or value here at all? Fish. Fish. I like fish.

Swamp fungus, herbs. I like this whole town. Wasn't this Trollheart? You have it? He steps back. Why would we sell such a thing like this? He starts thinking for a second and goes, maybe there, and points to what you see. It looks to be another two-story building

that had been burned and left to rot that now appears to be a hollow structure that is overgrown with greenery and plants. Is that an apothecary? You have an apothecary here. It seems to be from what I've noticed in passing. My god, I miss shopping. I'm going to give him three gold for his trouble.

You're brilliant, and I'm heading in that direction. Thank you. Thank you all. If you see Dolan, tell him, please come get me. No fear, it won't be too much longer. We're going to head back to the dash after we take care of some other business, and we'll be sure to check in. We're going to find its way to you soon.

Thank you. Where are you staying right now? I'm over at the Drowned Nest. Drowned Nest. How are our rooms there? Are they underground and filled with water and mold? No, they're better than that place. Oh, great. Where would you stay? Points to the Keystone Pub where you guys stayed.

Yeah, who would stay there, right? I mean. You can eye my standards. It's quaint and rustic, shut up. The Drowned Nest? Do they have a tavern at the Drowned Nest? I'm sure you could acquire a drink. Trust me, most of the folks here have to. Yeah.

Do you feel safe here? I noticed your hood was up when you approached us. Just precautions. Not a lot of business happens here that you won't noticed your hood was up when you approached us. Just precautions. Not a lot of business happens here that you won't get mingled in unless you go looking. So I just stay put. We'll send word. It was good to see you. You as well.

If you pass by the Drowned Nest, hopefully we can have a drink. He makes his way up towards the central part of the town by the Midway Docks. Man, I'm glad he's alive. I thought he was one of the dead bodies we found in the safe house. Me too, me too.

Where the hell did Moller go? He went in the apothecary, and I take off running to the apothecary. All right, thank you. You approach, and you can see there's a sign that's hanging from a chain from two iron hooks that are long, rusted, this dull brown-red color. It reads across the front, The Fungal Font.

What kind of font is it written in? Papyrus. Not the fungal! Never enter if it's papyrus. Never. No business spent here. All I wanted. So you approach, the door is closed currently.

I give it a knock. I'll even mind the knock. Sorry, we're closed. You're not buying today. We're closed. It's sundown. We're not shopping out. All ready. What time do you open tomorrow? Sunrise. Are you do you open tomorrow? Sunrise. Are you sure you don't want to, perhaps,

buy a fresh Trollheart? What? I have a Trollheart that's full of poison. Very wet. Make a persuasion check. Make a persuasion check. You got a real wet Trollheart. Do I roll an advantage because Molly's helping? You are helping, I'll give you an advantage.

Yeah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That was a rollercoaster right there. Not a bad die there. You two just became that Muppet meme that was made the first time.

22! There's a moment and you hear. The door opens and you see on the inside this wild-looking gaunt dwarf who has a chin beard with green moss growing on each side of it. His clothes look a little moist and his forehead glistens with sweat

and he peers through his eyes, popped out. He said, you have a troll heart? Come in, come in. Opens the door and lets you both inside, closes the door behind. I'm not about to sell a plot deck. Um, so I'm sort of curious as to how you came across this troll heart, did you kill the troll?

We killed a troll. We found a troll and we killed it. That's amazing, I'm very impressed. Do you want to see it? I would like to very much. Place it upon this counter, please. On the leather which you've carried. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I open the leather and open it around.

He reaches over and grabs some of these metal tongs and starts pushing and I'm inspecting it. Not in broad, it's fine. Takes a moment to look around. I can see there are some very fascinating applications. There's lots of aortas and chambers and stuff. It is quite exquisite. I would be happy to buy this off of you.

Do you have an asking price, or would you like me to make an offer? We could talk about trade, possibly, if you've got some interesting stuff. You could buy it and also give us some stuff. If you've got stuff to trade. You seem like a clever fellow. I'm sure you've got something around here that's interesting and unique.

Without breaking eye contact, he starts rummaging behind this small wooden table that acts as his counter, which has a bunch of these little planters and potted, weird-looking swamp fungus and plants that are grown together and entwined. One of them, you lean a little close, and a little spore goes off,

and you back away just carefully. He pulls up, you hear the clanking of them, you lean a little close, and a little spore goes off, and you back away, just carefully. He pulls up, you hear the clinking of glass, and he pulls up these two small jars, and opens this, I could spend the night preparing for perhaps some medicinal potions. Like really strong ones? Strong as you'll find this side of the lavender.

Oh my god. Really strong ones? Strong ones you'll find this side of the Labenda. Is that like regular or stronger than that? I don't know, I have to brew it to find out. It's not a perfect art form, you're impatient. I'd say if we brew something together, we'll see what you put together, and we'll definitely talk about what this is worth in the morning,

and if you have anything unusual that you put together, if you have a signature blend of any kind, I'm always interested in people who are excited to experiment. Unusual. Yeah. But I'm more interested in the healing potions. That, too. Right. The morning, then.

We'll see you bright and early. Take that trouble. What's your name, by the way? Smythe. Smythe Durban,? Smythe. Smythe Durban. Pleasure to meet you. Smythe Durban. Do you think it would be better to leave this here to see if it's a payment or something? I mean, we killed a troll,

so I'm like, we can't kill him if it goes wrong. I'm taking it with me. Vex is back. Smythe Durban is, knows, or has a gimp. It's not. For sure. 100%. For sure.

Why must you sully everything good and pure in this world, Sam? There's a halfling wrapped in parchment paper underneath the shop. This is where all those manacles have been coming from. Oh no. Oh my god. They haven't been in the zipper yet, so it's lace. All right, so. Perfect, we'll be back in the morning.

Let's go take a rest. Very well, good night, sleep well, return, please. Closes the door. What a nice guy. I really liked him. I did, I did, I liked him a lot. All right. So, what are you guys doing for the evening?

Let's go check out the Drowned Nest, shall we? There is a place around here. There's a better place than the Keystone Pub. We head to the Drowned Nest. Drowned Nest. So you head to the Midway Docks, following the outskirts of the Dry Docks, which are a number of these wooden docks

that head out into various edges of the swamp, where you can see there are small boats that are currently roped off and being watched by the Crown Scarb that come across with torches and just make sure nothing gets stolen or anyone's doing anything untoward over in the area. Asking around, you eventually find your way to what is a relatively simple-looking building, single story, but it stretches quite a bit, and you can see a number of windows that are faintly

glowing with candlelight. On the inside, it does appear to be a simple inn with a small bar in the far corner. It's better than the Keystone Pub, but only incrementally. Entering inside, it's relatively quiet. Looks to be one person who's drinking alone in the far end. And you see across the way a female human, kind of in her middle age, warm smile, a cracked face who glances up from a small book that she's thumbing through and goes,

Oh, good evening, folks. Can I help you? Yes, you can. We're weary travelers in need of respite and perhaps some drinks. Well, I can provide both. My name is Uma Cole, pleasure to meet you. Uma.

Oh. Yeah. Well. Is that a dirty hand? Oh no, I keep quite clean. I was asking out of character, but okay. Did you give me the dirty hand, ma'am? I was trying to process what that was referring to.

Oh, you stop. Gross. No, the hand is clean. Okay. We do have about four rooms available for rent, if you're willing to stay for the evening. Our selection of liquors and beers are not extremely versatile, but welcome to provide as needed. That sounds absolutely fantastic.

Whatever you think that we shouldn't leave town without trying. Very well. That would be five silver per room for the night stay. We'll take them all. All four rooms, that'll be two gold pieces, please. I got it. You got it? Thanks, Fjord.

No problem, thanks for making sure I was okay back there. What a gentleman. I saved his life, like, multiple times today. Well, good for you. Thank you. I mean his life multiple times today. Well, good for you. Thank you. I mean, to be fair, he saved our lives dozens of times. Ooh. He's very dapper.

He just touches the hearts of all of us. A sailor, too. Where would we be without Fjord? All gone, all dead. I don't know. Yeah. But that means he's not that cool or anything. I mean, you probably wouldn't be interested in him at all. Of course not, I'm sorry. Are you interested in him?

Here are your keys. Strangely surrounded by a group of strangers now accosting her with various degrees of insinuation. Drinks wise, we prefer more hard liquors or more of an ale or beer. Hard? Hard. Any surprise you have? Well, I think only a couple surprises at my disposal,

but she brings up a sangria. Do you have any ginger ale or like fresh milk or like? She pulls up this dark green bottle and uncaps it. I mean, it's beer, but it's practically ginger ale. Not very alcoholic. Gives it over to you. You can't drink in real life, and you still won't drink on graph paper.

Okay, round of liquor for all of you guys. Should probably run you about here. Three silver pieces, it's not very expensive. I'll do that as well, it's exactly what I have. What book are you reading, Master? Oh, nothing. She tucks it under, just keeping my mind busy. Anyway, welcome to stay if you like.

We don't have food available here. You may have to go over to the Keystone Pub for that, but we do offer fine sleeping arrangements. Is it a busy night? Any new travelers, anyone that caught your eye coming in before us? Not to the degree that you have, no. Well, I'm flattered.

All right. What is this thing? Well, I'm going to go get a drink. Yep. I've got cards, I'm going to play, and I'm going to drink, and then we've got to discuss what's happening tomorrow. Yes.

True, we'll find our way over to a table, yeah. Yeah, I'll go get a table. Does someone want to tuck Kiri in? Kiri, at this point, is leaning up on the counter towards the woman and goes like, don't eat humans, okay? Oh boy. The woman goes like,

She's the sweetest, isn't she? She's wearing a mask, she's not really a bird. I'm going to take it. Make a deception check. Oh. Oh no. That's surprising, 20. Then she goes, Children in their costumes.

Yes, I know, right? She grabs her book and starts reading for the first time on the counter. Can we see the cover once she grabs the book? No. Actually, this is just the plain leather. It's dust cloth. Yeah, it's definitely dust cloth.

Bounty hunters. All right, so what are you guys doing? We head over to a table in the corner to discuss. All right, so what are you guys doing? We head over to a table in the corner to discuss. All right, you got your drinks. They're functional at best. This isn't a bad establishment, but it's a plain establishment, but it works.

So you guys and one other patron who currently seems to be deep in their cups, just thinking on their own. They're out of your shot. You have your own table. Well, we seem to be doing fairly well. How do we feel about setting out in the morning to, uh... Shady Creek? Yeah, Shady Creek Run. Yeah, I'm ready, though. Ophelia Marguen.

Was there anyone else here that we were supposed to see, or anything else we were supposed to do? We're on a bit of a time crunch. We have to stop by this fungus place to get some potions. We'll do that on the way out, once we put the cart together. It opens at sunrise, once we put the cart together. It opens at sunrise, so we should be good. We've done what we needed. This is kind of a one troll town, I think.

It's not a great time to be out here. Yeah, we can catch up on some rest, and, oh, we got to get the carriage, right? Oh, that's right. And the horses back. Yeah, they're at the docks or something. Yeah. Oh, that means I got to go over to the, where did we stay before?

The Keystone Pub. I got to get it from that guy. Yeah, that guy. He dropped them off at the place. He did. The Central Stables. We paid way too much money to have him store our horses. Yeah, but we don't know where the stables are. Not as funny.

The Central Stables. We just have to ask where they are. We don't have to go back to the other pub. They may not give it to us unless he's there. Nah, they'll get it. Oh, well, all right. Hey, Yasha. I have validation. It's okay. Midway docks. That's where we go. Midway docks.

Yasha, I saw you asking about that book that the lady had. Yes. Do you want me to get it for you? Yes. Okay. I would love that. lady had. Yes. Do you want me to get it for you? Yes. Okay. I would love that. All right. I missed this. Maybe make a place and order or get her attention

so I can go snag it real quick. Okay, would you like me to try to? I don't know. Okay. I'll cast Mage Hand. Okay. Oh, why not? Another round, please.

And I'll put a gold for everyone down. Okay. She goes, oh, but of course. I'll go ahead and get that foliage, closes the book and puts it beneath the counter and runs off and grabs the bottle that she had already previously poured, which shakes it and it's fairly empty,

so she grabs another and then heads over to your table and begins to uncork and fill the drinks. As she's filling, I'll Mage Hand back and try to grab the book. Okay, you do not see where it is, you still have to have visual. Okay, I'll walk over there, then. Make a stealth check.

That's not great. 14. I could just be looking, you know, for good stuff. She walks and is pouring drinks and looks over her shoulder in your direction. Still pouring, but looking, you know, for good stuff. She walks in, is pouring drinks, and looks over her shoulder in your direction. Still pouring, but looking at you. Kids, huh? Ooh, they're always wandering off.

Apparently. Cuckoo Gaga. Do I see where the book is now? You do see it from your perspective, but she is watching you. Uma, has anyone ever told you that you have eyes like the sea? Ooh, yeah.

Make a persuasion check. Bow, bow, bow! I've been seeing it! Shit, nine! Come on, that's my jam! Yes, Uma, they are like a sky blue. She finishes pouring the drinks, cups it up, and goes, Well, I appreciate the flattery. I really do.

Have a wonderful night. And then walks back towards where she was sitting, but as she does so, the eyes are just locked on you, Nott. Goes back to her stool. Damn it! Fjord, what was that? I don't know. What was that? Is that how you talk to a woman? I'm not real practiced, I'm sorry.

Your eyes are like the sea? We're in a landlocked part of the place here. The shit doesn't even know what that means. I should have said like the swamp. Your eyes are like stagnant water. Green and, no? Green and yellow in places. I walk directly up to the bar.

They look like a troll took a shit in there. Oh no! Can I help you? Yeah, you know, I'm good on drinks. I was just curious what it is that you are reading. Roll a persuasion check. For a question? Okay. She doesn't like us very much.

Yeah, she hates us. She's had a bad series of minutes with you guys. Just a nine. I'm reading a fine story. Is it fiction? It is. I am so starved for a good book. We've just been in the wild for a while. I don't suppose there's, I mean, I doubt it,

but is there any place to find literature here? I had to order this from Zadash, unfortunately. That sounds terrible. How long does it take for it to get here? Well, as soon as the order goes out there and pay upon delivery, it took me a better part of a month to get here. I commiserate for your thirst for fiction.

I struggled with it myself. How far in are you? Are you almost finished with it, or? I'm about three chapters in, it's just starting to get interesting. Is it a page turner? Yes. Yeah, okay. You know, I'm obviously just a little bit jealous,

but I don't want to take you away from your reading time. Make a perception check. Nine. What the hell is that? You can see there's a little bit of text, just barely visible at this proximity to the cover of the book, but you can't make it out in this low light. With a U, with a S, with a K.

With a T. With a L. She takes it and closes it and puts it beneath the counter. Is there anything else I can help you with, sweetie? No, that's fine, you enjoy. I give her a wink and I go back to the, all right. This is going to drive me crazy. Let's fucking kill her!

Take everything to the place! We haven't went to the bar. We just did. Yeah, but you know what they say, it's location, location, location. Yeah, this just sounds stocked. It's just not, it's really not that good. I'm going to go up to the bar.

Oh my god. Location, location, location. Yeah, this just sounds stuck. It's really not that good. I'm going to go up to the bar. Oh my goodness. Oh god. She's just pulled the book out, opens it up and goes, Hi. Hello. Here's the thing, you've made this very intriguing, this book that you're reading,

and I can't leave here without knowing what it is. Make an intimidation check. Intimidate, were you being intimidating? The brachioradary flexes in her eyes. It's minus two, but we said we could use. Well, it depends on how you're being intimidating. Are you going to physically threaten her to show the book? No, no, I'm just really. Then it's charisma based.

You got this, Yasha. This is subtle. I believe in you. No. That would be a zero. My charisma's minus two. She goes, I apologize, but, I apologize. I apologize. But your behavior, paid customer or not, has been lackluster, and I would appreciate

if I could have my privacy. I will give you privacy, I just don't understand why we can't know what you're reading. Why are you so interested in what I'm reading? Because it looks like it's very good. I will go sit down, fine. I miss reading. I miss it a lot.

I have a book you can read, Yasha. I just want to know what she's reading. Jester and Molly, you have not tried yet. Dungeons and Dragons. Okay, so we plan a heist for tonight. We wait until she's asleep. In the morning, we'll send her for the horses and the carriage, and perhaps it's time we turn in.

Yeah. All right. I pound mine and I head to Molly. Are we bunking up? I'm finishing this one. Yeah. All right. I pound mine and I head to Molly, are we bunking up? I'm finishing this, I'll be right up. All right, you guys finish up your respective drinks. I go last. I feel like we only need three rooms, but.

It's just an extra couple gold. I leave two gold on the counter before I leave. A few no matter what, but if you tell me what it is, I promise I won't tell the rest of them, I just want to lord it over them. She palms the two gold. It's for you no matter what, but if you tell me what it is, I promise I won't tell the rest of them. I just want to lord it over them. She palms the two gold. It's called Feather Leather. I knew it.

Whew! Enjoy your evening. Sorry, Chris. Cheers. I head upstairs. She pockets the gold hat. Max! Yep.

Yep. Some bard somewhere in the past has penned a story about a dark knight in leather and feathers. I've seen that Tumblr post. For the record, I tell none of you. Yeah. All right, so you guys manage to get your evening's rest. You gather your things the next morning. Wait, wait, wait. Before I go to sleep, I want to use my pearl of power and my power pearl and

regain a third-level spell, and I want to cast Sending on my mama. And I'm just going to say, hi, Mom, I got the Nispel. I want to say thank you for the package you sent me. I know that it was really hard for you to do that, and I love you so much, and I hope everything's okay with you. And I got your letter, and the ink, and I think it's so...

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. As you're talking, you hear in your mind this gasp. Jester. I don't know how, but it's so good to hear from you. Did you get my package? Oh no, can I respond to it? Oh no, I don't have it. You pause.

Well, wherever you are, I love you. And I hope you are well. If you, and it cuts off. Maybe next time if you write down the words so you can know which are the most important words. Okay, I need to tell her I got her package. Okay. Okay.

Wasn't counting the words, but that thing that gets the gist of it is somewhere in there. Somewhere in there. As I'm sure I'll get 14 tweets going like, um, that was only 22 words. Like, it's fine, it's fine. Three of those tweets will be from me. Oh, I know, Taliesin, that's why I'm nipping this in the bud.

Before we turn in Turn In, it's just Molly and I in our room, right? Yeah. Can I confide in you for something? Oh yes, please. I'm a little unnerved about this sword. Would you stand watch for a second? Seems like a bad idea, sure.

All right. I'll summon the Waste Hunter falchion. As it emerges from your grasp, you can see there's a slight splash of seawater across the wall, and there you can see in the center of the pommel, You can see there's the slight splash of seawater across the wall, and there you can see in the center of the pommel, previously was just the well-crafted hilt of the blade.

You see a single yellow lidless eye on each side. Does it look like anything? Does it remind me of a mystic symbol of any kind? Make an arcana check. All right, Make an arcana check. All right, just an arcana check. Let's see what happens. Natural 20. Oh!

I'm back, baby. Sexy. I need, you know. There's no religious symbology here. In thinking through, there's no religious symbology here. In thinking through, there's nothing that gives you the essence that there is any sort of belief system locked into this that you're aware of. But looking at it, one, it immediately reminds you

of whatever it was that he jammed into his stomach. Two, the image of it and the sea-based theme of these experiences that Fjord has been having leads you to believe that this is something very old and something that resides probably beyond land and possibly beyond this sea. That's as much as I can give you.

Which is more than you should have gotten, but you rolled a 20. Does the iris move at all, or is it just static? Currently, it's just static. What happened to you on that boat? Something might have followed you. Nothing like this. I've never seen anything like this eye before,

only in that dream where Vandran was holding it. He pushed it in his chest, but this is smaller. This sword just seems to take in, take in things. You're going to forgive me for this later. I cast Friends. Okay, so for the next minute, you have advantage on your charisma checks.

I forget what Friends does. It doesn't do anything to you, it just gives him advantage on charisma checks with you. Actually, I'm so sorry, not Friends. I'm so sorry, it's not Friends, it's Charm Person. You're doing Charm Person? I'm so sorry, it's Charm Person. Make a wisdom saving throw for him.

Thank you. Why did I ask? It's charm personal. Make a wisdom saving throw. Thank you. What did I ask? It's an 18. You resist it. You feel your mind begin to cool with subtle arcane influence and you shrug it off. There's something in you that you either don't want to talk about or don't remember properly, I think.

Well, you could have just asked. No, I don't think I could have. If anything, it's the letter. There's not a lot I remember about being in the ocean. Which is why I didn't ask. Right. I trust that you'll tell me everything you know, but I'm not sure you even know everything you know.

Maybe, but that's why I asked you to stay in the room. I'm not entirely sure I trust this thing. I don't think it matters where the sword is at all. Maybe. Can I try and focus on the sword? I close my eyes, put both hands on the hilt, and just concentrate on it real hard. Sword of Sea Eye, give me sight beyond sight.

Yeah. Go ahead and make an intelligence check. Just a straight roll with your intelligence modifier. That is a 10. A 10. You grab it and you focus and you focus and you focus. Much like an element of the dreams you've had and the spells that you pull from whatever this agreement you've made with this entity may have been.

You can feel that thread connection from you to something beyond your hemisphere. It's like that sensation of someone looking at you, and you just know someone's looking at you, and you turn to look and there's nobody there. It's like that all the time right now, but you can't read more than that. Last thing, may I?

Don't take any offense, but no. And I make it disappear. Something from the deep is in that, I don't know. It reminds me of something. Yeah, me too. I'm just not sure what. Please, I only confided in you because I feel like the strange is sort of your ballpark. I'll keep an eye, and no matter what, keeping each other safe, that's what we do. It's what you do when you've got a group of people.

Agreed. We'll keep you safe. Appreciate it, Molly, and I'll turn in. I'll probably be up for an hour, and then I'll turn in. Okay. As we go to rest for the evening, let's go ahead and make that as our break. So we'll come back here in just a few minutes

to pick up the story for the next leg of your journey. In the meantime, guys, enjoy these next few minutes. Enjoy the videos and chaos in between, and we'll see you here shortly. Yay! Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators. I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network. Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific

on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away, or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. Welcome back, everybody. story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we? Welcome back, everybody. So, let's go ahead and dive back in. As you all come to consciousness, the following morning, a much more comfortable sleep than that you had at the Keystone Pub. You gather your things upstairs. There are a few more patrons that are in the process of waking up, since there is not a meal provided for sleeping here. They're just getting out of the groggyness, having some coffee, some of them having some hair of the dog, and they all go about their business. What do you want to do with your day? We have to go to that shop, Molly.

Let's go to the shop. Anybody who wants to go shopping can go shopping. Anybody else who wants to wrangle up the cart? Yeah, I'll go with you. I'll tell Uma to go collect the cart and the horses from the... You have to pay her to do it. Yeah, I'll pay her. Okay.

She goes, to pick up your money at the stables, you say, on the docks, how can I assure them that I'm allowed to do so if I did not check them in? It is what you said. We need a valet ticket. You do need a valet ticket. Did we get a valet ticket?

A ticket we did. I ride a valet ticket really fast. Here you go. You forge it? Yep. Do you have a forgery kit? I do. We're not going to forge valets. As much as I'm kind of into this. Look, if you don't have one,

you have to pay full price if you lose it, okay? Or we just kill them. I'll go down and get them myself. But you might have to go and do the- And then I'll kill them. You know what, I'm going to go with Fjord to get the cart. Why don't you all meet us at the, get the cart and you'll meet us at the apothecary.

Okay, just in case you need backup. If we need to kill them, we can. All right, so you guys go ahead and head off. You gather the cart, easy enough to do. You can gather your supplies, the horses, they're all good to go. You guys are heading towards the Fungal Font? Get a lot of healing potions.

Where are we all going? Yeah, the rest of us. No, I want to go for a walk Get a lot of healing potions. Where are we going? Yeah, the rest of us. No, I want to go for a walk on the edge of town for something. Hey, will you take Kiri with you? Yeah, of course. All right. Do you want me to come as well? Yeah, of course.

Okay, I'll come. Get a lot of healing potions. I'm going to. Meet us at the apothecary. Kiri has to get into trouble. No, we are not going to get into trouble. Get into trouble. Nine. Nine. Nine for nine.

Nine. Oh my god, so cute. Be good. We're just going on a stroll, yeah? We're not going to kill anything, you're not going to, you know, just taking a walk. You know. Okay. You are pretty cute, come on.

Turns to Nott as you guys walk off. Wrapped around his weenie. You continue making your way to the swamp. The two of you, you guys make your way to the fungal font. The doorway is partially ajar, it is open. As we walk there, I, to the rest of these four, three, say no, you're not there. No. To these two, say,

all right guys, real talk. What are we going to do with Kiri? I've been thinking about that. We can't keep her with us. Why not? She's going to die. In front of you. Bloody, horribly, brutally. Oh man. You're going to be. In front of you. Bloody, horribly, brutally.

Oh man. You're going to be real sad about it. So we got to let her go. We can't just let her go! No, we can't let her go, but I'm saying we have to let her go from our group somewhere safe. We have to make a plan. What if I try to get ahold of her parents or something?

Can you do that? Do you need to know who her parents are? Are they dead? I'm pretty sure her parents are in a giant lizard. They got separated. But we don't know yet. But we have a map and maybe she can show us on the map where she thinks she needs to go.

We can just, what are we going to do, just let her send her on her way by herself? No, I didn't say that. I said if we know which direction she needs to go? We can't just, what are we going to do, just let her, send her on her way by herself? No, I didn't say that. I said if we know which direction she needs to head, we can figure out possibly if we can get her there. Oh, okay. That's fair. I think we need to get her out of this swamp, because this place is terrible.

This place is terrible. And I wouldn't want to live here. No one should live here. I'm not going to subject a poor little child bird to that. No. She doesn't drink a lot and occasionally seem interested in eating human flesh. I'm not entirely, subject a poor little child bird to that. No. She doesn't drink a lot and occasionally seem interested in eating human flesh. I'm not entirely, well, that's a subject for another day.

She could grow up and run this town. She could. She could be like her own gentleman. Oh my god, she's her own mob boss? I hope so. I like that. I have high hopes for her. Yeah.

Well. I'm just going to let that room steam. Maybe I can talk to her and have her write down exactly what her parents looked like or something, and I can try to send the message to them. Okay, I think that'd be good. We'll start there.

Put a pin in this for now. Draw some birds. That looks like a pigeon. There's a bird in a bonnet, another one smoking a pipe. That's all I really... Think about that. Ow.

Okay, okay. All right, you guys make your way into the fungal font, and there you see, waiting anxiously, there's the Sallow Dwarf sitting in a small chair in the corner, going, going, ah, so that is the heart. Did you bring it?

Right here. Right, okay. So I've been working on something for you, based on what you requested, and I have these. He puts these two vials on the table. One of them is a healing potion, larger than the basic kind. The other...

The other is like a sky blue color, and as he sets it on the table, as soon as it impacts, there's like a flash, and you see some sparkles go through it before it settles. He goes, I'm going to be honest, not entirely certain the extent of what this is. It protects you from something.

I know the basis of it is insulation. What's the gold stuff in there? I don't see what you mean. What's the stuff that just swirled around when you put it on the table? He taps it again and it looks like a spark. I don't see what you mean. What's this stuff that just swirled around when you put it on the table? He taps it again and it looks like a spark. What is that? I don't know.

But I bet it's interesting. If we knew the name of everything we put down our gullet, there would be no fun ever, any time, I'm very excited. Cool potion, okay, okay, okay. It's riboflavin. What else? I will trade these and put a a topper of 50 gold pieces.

I'm all right with this. I think that sounds like a pretty cool deal. I'm into it, yeah. I'll throw in for it. Yeah. I'll throw in 25 gold. Wait, no. No. No. Beau.

What? What's happening? He's paying us. Oh, I mean. Holy shit. I'm pulling this wrong. You totally pulled it wrong. Oh god. I thought you were saying it was going to cost

an extra 50 on top. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give us that money. All right, if you don't mind, he grabs the leather. He grabs the leather and carefully moves it off the table and puts it in a small chest, closes it, goes and counts out 50 gold pieces, shoves it at your brain and goes, thank you for your patronage.

So if we were to take that 50 and possibly spend it on something in this shop, is there anything that we should take a look at? Depends on what you're looking for. I have various balms and salves, help with headaches, wounds that are festering, some that help with helping your manhood come to light, some that help you with sleeping if you're having insomnia.

What's the manhood thing? Oh boy. Oh boy. They help you, sometimes guys have problems with the and then there's potions that can help with that. What's that? Ah. My mom said. I'm curious about the sleeping thing you have

and again, anything you're particularly proud of. I'm just going to look around the store. All right. I'm always excited for a surprise. Essentially, over about five minutes of him showing you around, they're mostly just general herbal remedies for day-to-day ailing elements. Looks like all the special stuff that he had at his disposal

went into those potions. Everything else has been just general helping, like melatonin, things that help you a little bit. I'll take some sleep aids and whatever helps you sleep, some sleepy tea or whatever, anything like that. All right, that's five silver for enough for ten doses. Perfect, and

you buy your own issue. That's if whatever you've got you can buy yourself. That's not where my point is going. And anything that smells nice. Just whatever. Yes, there are some lavender oils I could recommend to you.

Here it is. I hope you like it. It smells quite nice. Rub some on his wrist. Yes. How much for the whole deal? How much for the whole deal? For the oils and your sleepy,

I put it around it, let's say seven silver pieces. I'll just give the gold. Can you do change one gold? Okay. Thank you. Gives you three silver back. Thank you. I admit it all.

Reception check. We're having our own story over here. I'm going to wear an earring, though, and I'm going to take on the show. All right, so you guys finish up there. I'm fine, I'm going to put it in my additional notes right now. Okay. You guys are heading off to the edge of the Swamp of Kiri. Oh, yeah. This is so silly, I'm looking for a good stone. What kind of a stone? A big stone? Skipping stone?

Something with a little bit of heft to it. Do you need it for a stone? A big stone? Skipping stone? Something with a little bit of heft to it. Do you need it for a spell? Not exactly, but I don't really have anything specific. I guess I'll know it when I see it. Just something about, yay big. You know, my father used to tell me that if a stone had a ring around it all the way, it was lucky. If a stone had a ring around it? Yeah, like a natural formation, a coloration, it doesn't matter, though,

just a good, I start looking for a stone. Kiri, help us look for a stone. Good one. Okay, I'll look with him. Make an investigation check, one of you with advantage if you're aiding the other. I will make the check with your help, if that's okay. Sure.

Okay, come back. That is a 13. What was the advantage? That is a 14. All right, and what particular are you looking for? Looking for a nice? A stone about as large as a malformed baseball, I suppose. Okay, it takes you best upwards of ten minutes,

not very long until you find one that's roughly that size. It's not perfectly spherical, it's still a little, it's got its imperfections, but it's pretty smooth. Is there a ring around it? I'll say there's a very, very faint ring around it, sure. That's a lucky rock. What will you use it for? I'm not sure exactly.

I have some ideas. Murdering people in their sleep. You know, Caleb, I never told you this before, but when we met that dragon lady, Kali? Kali. Kali? There's a lot of Ks. She gave me this scroll of invisibility. I've been hanging onto it, but I didn't know

if you wanted to look at it and maybe learn from it or something? I mean, there's an armor to bear shit in the woods, so yeah, I want to see it. Let me see it. Yeah, yes. I didn yeah, I want to see it. Let me see it. Yes, I didn't want the others to see it, just in case it was... Ooh.

That's a good one. Yeah. Do you want to, can you learn that now, or? I mean, I could use it right now, but that seems detrimental if I had the proper funding, and, well, I have, I could use it right now, but that seems detrimental if I had the proper funding. And, well, I have, yeah. No, I mean, if I had proper funding and materials, you know, but maybe later.

Okay. I'm just going to keep it safe for the moment. Great. Also, I'm so sorry that I got you in trouble with Beau for the whole bowl incident. I just, I didn't realize that she was going to freak out on you like that. Either did I, but we're figuring it out.

Well, you took a walk with her. Was that okay? Was that awkward? Oh, I was, yeah, that was fine. She's, I was, yeah, that was fine. She's, she's, yeah, she's probably a good egg. I think so, too. In her weird, sort of stoic way, she seems to care about you.

Yeah, she's a prickly pear, but she's not a bad person. Do you think she was dropped on her head or something? Like, she's very, just sort of, yeah, you know. Ugh! You know what I mean? Ugh! Just kind of.

I mean, I think you and I are a little eh in our own particular way. Yeah, that's true. I mean, she's abrasive, but that has its uses. It does. Yeah, right tool for the right job. Right, Kiri? Go fuck yourself.

She knows what I'm talking about. Perfect. You good, you're still good? I'm very good, yes. Things are looking up, I think. Things are looking up, and you know, earlier you said that I could come talk to you whenever I want, and thank you for that. That makes me feel very good.

Yeza was his name. The halfling man. That the, before. I don't know, man. That's all, just wanted to say his name out loud. Yes. It's been a while. That's a good name.

Names are important. Yeah. Well, you got your rock. Got my rock. All right, let's rock out. All right, Ciarri, come on. Before we leave, or as we're leaving the store, I just want to say, Molly,

just stay inside for a little bit, okay? And just keep talking to the guy, okay? For just a minute. All right. And I'm going to use my paint, and I'm going to change the sign to the fungal fart. All righty, make a sleight of hand check, if you don't mind.

I'll give you advantage if you manage to succeed on a deception check. All right. What are you going to do with that heart, anyway? Well, I have many possible uses. I could extract also. That's a seven. So just make a roll.

Ooh, 20. With a quick flourish, you complete a fairly accurate recreation of the font utilized in its glorious papyrus. Without him noticing from behind the door. And with that, you complete your conversation. The rest of you meet up, just as you hear the clomping of horse poops. And all of you gather in the center of the puddles.

The clomping is the splashing as you guys do. There's still like two inches of water in this section of Barrel Bend. So. I think I'm getting athlete's foot from all the moisture in my shoes from this place. I can heal that. Really? Yeah. It's so itchy.

Yeah, it's called jungle rot. Really? Yep. Oh, hey, you've got our stuff. Whose stuff? Is everything relatively all right on the cart? Doesn't look like it's been? You guys take a moment to look through, everything's intact? We had to kill moment to look through. Everything's intact.

We had to kill them all, but we got in. Yeah. The option was surprisingly effective. Yeah, that's not surprising. I trust you, it's the only way to be sure. Ciri comes up. She's probably a good egg. What does that mean?

Could have been. She could have learned that from anyone, anyone with a mildly Zenmine accent. Yeza was his name, the halfling man from before. Shut up, Kiri! Shut up, Kiri! Shut up! Yeza? Yeza? What's the halfling guy? Did you say Yeza, Kiri, shut up! Yeza? Yeza? No, I don't know. Was the halfling going?

Did you say Yeza, Kiri? Yeza was his name. The halfling man from before. The gimp we were joking about under the floor of that place. Yeah. Oh. Oh, what?

Don't look and I'm turning green. All right, you guys gather your things, get back onto your cart and your horses, and head southward, exiting Barrelbin, leaving this swamp town behind, hopefully for good. Making your way back onto the road. Which direction are you going? Okay, towards? Do you have a map?

Where's the map? Northeast. Over there. I'll go east to Shady Creek. Rude. While everyone's figuring it out. Oh wait, we have to go around Hooperduke. Hopperduke! You guys heading to Hooperduke on the way? The water can go through.

Hopperduke. There's a ridge line there, right? There's like a, mountains? Those are high mountains, yeah. A silver queail ridge? The silver quail ridge is a very, very high series of mountains there. So we would have to go around it. So we'd pass by Hubbard?

Right, and pass by Hubbard. Yeah, I mean, there are roads, or they're cutting through the open fields in nature. That's your choice to make. So looking at the map here. So we have some weights to put down. So we have to go around these mountains. We could either go to the east, past Hopperduke, because we're going to Nog'Nag'var, right?

You guys are heading this direction, as far as you know. Shadycreek Ridge is over here in the Quantum Reef. There seems to be a path through the forest. We could go around Hopperduke way, So we could go around the Haparduke Way, or we could go Rexentrum way. I think we go Rexentrum, just because there's an army marching that direction. But Rexentrum is the capital.

It's the capital. It's really crazy. We should probably stay clear and go to Haparduke. Don't you, you've been up there, haven't you, Caleb? Yeah, but there's a war brewing, and that place is the center of it all. But you might know some folks who could help us. I'm very curious about Hubberduke.

Oh, that Trent guy? Yeah, that Trent guy. All right. Wait, is it where, Rexxentrum? Yeah, don't you know, we talked to him, he said if we wanted to, you know, meet up with him to talk more, he was in Rexxentrum. I thought we were on a timetable

to get these things done. Oh, and we're trying to be sly, we him to talk more. He was in Rexxentrum. I thought we were on a timetable to get these things done. And we're trying to be sly. We want to avoid that. We'll go Hupperduke on the way up, and then we can do Rexxentrum on the way back. I'm just going to say, I've heard some pretty crazy stories through the grapevine about what goes on in Hupperduke. What goes on in Hupperduke?

I don't believe you've ever heard a crazy story about anything happening anywhere. What goes on in Hupperduke? What goes on in Hupperduke? I don't believe you've ever heard a crazy story about anything happening anywhere. What goes on there? What have you heard? Are you challenging me? I'm challenging you for details. So, all right. City's got a lot of gnomes, right?

And they're filled with industry, and they work all the time, but at night, they party. Known parties. Work hard, party hard. That is what that city's all about. And they live in mushroom houses. I don't know about the mushroom houses thing, but I've just heard some crazy,

they have ragers every night. I'm excited about mushroom houses. Are you making this up? No, not at all. Insight check. Make an inside check. Both of you. I'm into it.

18. 13. That's because I can. As far as she's aware, she's telling the truth. 14. That's amazing. I'm going to say, I've had some shady friends. Ain't no party like a Huppadoop party.

I've had some shady friends. Huppadoop it is. Let's duke it up. I think they have one of the highest imports and exports for illicit substances. I don't know. That's just what I've heard. Okay, let's go. Let's get started. All right, so you guys are making your way

along the railway road eastward from Berylbin, right? Heading from here along the railway. Heading past north of Felderwin, hitting the Felderwin Tillage. Then there's a crossroads that leads to the northern gravelway path. We're going that far. If you're following the roads,

if you guys are cutting away from the roads and going through the rough open fields, that can be done. We're going to have a carriage, let's stay on the road. Okay, all right, so via road, it's about 110 miles to the crossroads, and then 120 miles along the northern gravelway path.

To Hugh? Yeah, it's about a week's worth of travel to get to Hupperdook from where you are. What's in the crossroads? You'll find out when you get there. You haven't traveled there before. Is it a village? We don't know. You don't know.

I've been there, haven't I? You may have been there, actually, and you know that the crossroads, from what your experience is, folks who are making long travels stop there and might set up shop for a day or two to sell or trade whatever wares they have before they continue on the rest of their journey.

And people from Felderwin, actually, in the Felderwin tillage head up there sometimes to set up shop there for people that are traveling through. Like a flea market town. Kind of. It's not unless a town, it's maybe a handful of anywhere from four to 20 or so tents, depending on what time of year it is. It's an outlet outside of town. It's a fantasy outlet.

Cabazon. Halfway into the end of the book. Yes! I bet I can get 300 golds worth of diamonds for way less. Yes. And our money exchange. Which, by the way, I want to talk to you guys.

I want to talk to you guys, because here's the thing. This spell that I have takes diamonds, right? In order to bring you back to life. And I don't have enough gold to buy all these diamonds for everybody, so. So you're asking if we would like to pool our resources for a handful of these diamonds for a perilous situation? Or if you want to be selfish about it,

you can buy your own diamonds, and then I'll just use those for you. Yeah, how big do these diamonds have to be? Like little suckers, or? It doesn't matter, it's just 300 gold worth of diamonds, but they're going to be gone if you die. That's a significant diamond. How do you know which diamonds are diamonds?

You keep your diamonds on you. But don't you need them for the spell? Do we have a specific diamond pocket that you know if we go down, you go in our diamond pocket? Yeah! She's got to hold all the diamonds. No, no, no, and then you have your own diamond pocket, and then when I save you, it'll be like... You know, I'm perfectly fine sharing some diamonds.

Why don't we just get like $900 worth of diamonds? I would rather you as an accomplished healer knew where the diamonds were on your person and got them lickety-split rather than you looking through my 32 pockets to find them. Sounds good to me. We'll just get as many diamonds as we can. Yeah, I agree with you that we should pool our resources.

That is a good idea. And whenever we steal jewelry off of people, maybe we just keep it instead of selling it. We just pop out the diamonds. We can still keep, like, ruby jewelry and emerald jewelry. I will look for diamonds. That's all you need is diamonds? Yeah. Just diamonds.

Just diamonds. Do you have any spells that use rubies or emeralds? What about you, Caleb? Well, I have this smaller, this is a little diamond I use for that one thing that I do. But it doesn't go away? No, this one, I spin it and surround it with an arcane energy and no, it does not go away.

What's that about? What's that about, how come he gets to keep his? Well, it's very- Are you talking to the Traveler right now? It's that about? How come he gets to keep his? Well, it's very- Are you talking in the travel eye right now? It's a very studied practice. I spent years learning how to do it. It's extremely smart. What's the travel eye doing up there?

Maybe you can learn. I don't know. Sometimes he's invisible. Could he be flying next to me? I don't know. Could you let her keep the diamonds? Could we maybe keep the diamonds? Could you teach her how to do the spinny thing? Could someone keep their eyes on the road as we're moving forward?

Let's go! Thank you. The Traveler is my co-pilot. It's okay. He's leading the way. Traveler, take the wheel. Traveler, take the wheel. Oh my god, guys. But I do, while we're going,

I need to send this to Kiri, and I'm going to pull out my sketchbook, and I'm going to ask her to write down everything she can think of about her mom and dad, and draw a little picture of them, because I'm going to try to do sending for her mom and dad. Okay. She draws the best she can. Her drawings are rudimentary, but functional.

You see two blackbird parents in somewhat geometric clothing. That's about how I pictured them. Yeah. It's just American Gothic, but it's births. Basically. Best you can tell from what she writes down and communicates with you via the book, they were traveling, I think she mentioned it before,

they were traveling from the east, heading west. Mm. So they were going the opposite direction that we are. They are, yeah. That sucks. So you guys make your way out of La Benda Swamp, heading southward across the bridge, past the river that breaks from the Unterlach,

heading south. I'm sorry, just a minor thing. While we are traveling, I am going to use my minor alchemy to turn a ring of the wood in the cart. I'm sitting crisscross applesauce, and I make a ring of copper in the bottom of the wagon and place this stone in it, and I just place both hands in the bottom of the wagon and place this stone in it. I just place both hands on the side of the stone

and I'm just trying to channel my knowledge and ability into it. I'm just futzing with it. That's it. Okay. All right. I take a little paintbrush and I draw a smiley face on the rock.

This is your hand. All right. Because this is a longer journey, I take a little paintbrush and I draw a smiley face on the rock. It's not the end. All right. Because this is a longer journey, I'm not going to drag us through every single stage of it, but there are some elements that can happen during this journey, so. You have died of dysentery. Yes, exactly.

Did you guys ever find anything out about the sending thing? How did that go? That's what I want to know about first. I would say, unfortunately, given the lack of details, lack of information. At some point, we want to pull out the map. Sometime we want to pull out the map

and show it to Kiri and see if she could point to anything on the map. All those things are contributing factors. to Kiri and see if she could point to anything on the map. Let me see. All those things are contributing factors. We're going to get this fucking bird killed, y'all. I know, this bird's going to die. The sending spell isn't able to connect with anybody, unfortunately.

But you tried. I tried. All right, so first day of travel comes to a close. You reach the river. Actually, you don't quite reach the river, you almost do. First night's rest happens. We'll say for the purposes of the evening, who wants to make, for expediency here,

who wants to make the perception check for the evening's rest? I'll do it. I will also do it. All right, it's both individually, or? I will do it individually. All right, so both you guys roll. I like this, it's like Final Fantasy Traveling.

Yeah. It's like. Is it world map? 16, oh, I got to fight. Oh, that's better. All right, so the evenings rest, taking your breaks, keeping watch throughout the night. No incident, you guys manage to, you see at one moment

there is a shifting of movement in the distance forward. You go and check and it looks like there's a family of foxes that are making their way through the field southward away as it gets colder. They're starting to move southward and you spook them off to get away from the crowd. Skip. The next morning, you guys get yourselves

back up into the cart and continue on further. You pass beyond the river and start making your way towards the crossroads before your second day comes to completion. Who's going to go ahead and keep watch the next evening? All right, go ahead and make a roll, guys. You want advantage or do you want? Let's roll individual. Individual.

That's the point. 20. Oh, 17. Hmm, all righty. Keeping watch throughout the evening. Thankfully, no issues happen. You manage to keep watch. Evening goes to that issue, the rest is fine,

and you continue on to your third day of travel. Along the way, you do finally reach the crossroads here. As you come upon the area, you can see where the road diverges. It continues in a southward curve, and then a road that very starkly turns left and heads in a northeastern direction. There are a series of wooden signs up, and you do see what looks to be three tents of varying sizes up. There is a blue and white striped tent, there is a white tent, and there's a faded green one. You see a couple of carts that are stopped off to the side

and some folks are looking in there. It's a very, very small merchant set up there, but if you were to inquire, you could see what's available. Wait a second. I send Frumpkin skittering off in that direction. Okay. As he's leaving, I just say, you know, rub against some ankles and listen.

Who are you talking to? Are you talking to me? Oh, yeah, I think he's talking to the cat. Oh, okay. That'd be funny. That would be a rub. Do you want me to rub his ankles? No, no, sometimes when he stares at you

and doesn't say anything, he is talking to you, though, so that's a fair question. No, I've noticed that. I've never actually tried rubbing his ankles when he says that. Can he still hear us, or can he only hear the cat? He can hear the cat, but he can feel you, so poke him if you feel him.

Okay, what if I poke his ankles? That would be weird. Fjordkin listens about, and there are folks asking and trying to haggle prices. You get the sense that one of them, as Frumpkin looks up, has a small selection of fruits, some looking more tropical, probably further south sourced, brighter oranges and yellow in color,

some with vibrant green leaves. Oh, so cute. Pineapple! Durian! The white tent goes by, has more of a general goods feel. There are tools, repair kits for travel. You see what looks to be some bolts, like two crossbows in the back wall,

all sorts of general tools. It looks to just be a, like two crossbows in the back wall, all sorts of general tools. It looks to just be a general store in a way, and some basic means to defend oneself when on the road. Any books? Make a perception check. Hey, Molly. Yeah, Asha. Magic books for you. Yeah, books. Any books.

13. No books. No books. The green one appears to be mainly furs and leathers, some that are tannning on the outside, as well as what looks to be bone jewelry, made of teeth and bone of hunted animals. Oh, that's cool. You guys know tents?

We also need some warm clothes. It's winter is coming. Tents would be a great idea. Just to justify all this, he's been muttering everything he sees, bones, bone necklaces. I want a bone necklace, but do you guys recognize any of these tint colors?

I recognize the color green and white and... Well, I generally don't actually care about the name of any city that I'm in, because I've never bothered to learn. Does any of this look familiar before? Do I recognize any of these people? If you walk in and start glancing through? No, they're all? Yeah. No?

There are various travelers. No one's crossed your path before, nobody of significance to your previous experience, no. I want some bone jewelry. I might walk off that way. I think we're going to need some general goods. I got some ideas of some stuff we could use on the road. You mentioned the tent thing, that's not a bad idea.

We should have some tents. No. All right, so you head to the green tent, those who are going to the one that has the bone drawer. You see there is a human woman there, dark weather skin, leather and fur over her shoulders. She's currently talking with somebody, and as you approach, terribly sorry,

if you're looking for furs, bones, or leathers, look around. Feel free to ask. I will tell you what we are selling for. Do you have any bracelets? A goblin took my jade one. That's unfortunate, but we do. And she turns around and you can see

that there's a few strips of leather that are rough on the edges, but functional. One of them has a fur inlay, so it actually feels comfortable on the wrists. I've made this myself. Fjord, does this look like a little much? It feels like it doesn't go with my outfit. Are they thick or thin bones?

Yeah, does it feel out of place? There's leather. Oh, it's leather. Oh, it's just leather. The wristband that she has is leather, yeah. If you got a thicker cloak, it would look real good with it. Are you looking for bone, Tickthorne? Yeah.

There is bone jewelry. You see that there's a bone choker. That's a series of finger bones that are lined end to end. That goes around the neck. There's one that can go on the wrist. Looks like there's a necklace that has a bunch of various canine teeth. Not necessarily from a canine, but sharp teeth

of some sort of creature. Where do these bones come from? Oh, most of these were taken from various wolves, dire in nature. Wolves? Wolves. Wolves. Wolves.

These are up from the Zemni Fields, near Icehaven, is where I hail. There's a very hunter-trapper community up there. I bring the goods to sell this far south. Very impressive. Frumpkin comes around the corner and Caleb sees that the entire party has left him in the cart.

Snaps out of it and scrabbles out and starts hustling over there. Okay. Do you buy stuff as well, or do you only sell stuff? Mainly meant only to sell, but if you have something worth buying, do present. Please, I'm curious. I'm actually not there, I don't know why.

I've got a gator skin. She takes it and kind of, which by the way, the gator skin is not tanned, it's not cured. It's just rotting. It is fucking nasty. As you pull it out of your haversack, it's dripping with congealed blood. Flies immediately start gathering and she's like, Super fresh. I can tell. Not interested, sorry.

I should probably tan these. I leave them in the tent. I buy the bone bracelet, throw her money, and say thanks, and then walk off. Okay, you didn't ask how much it was. No. The bone bracelet runs you two gold. It's not that expensive. Yeah.

I'll disguise myself as a gnome, go in and buy warm clothes. Okay. That's it. Okay, for the set of warm clothes, which is heavy leathers and fur that you can throw over, a leather cloak as well that you can bundle up and it straps over

and buckles multiple times across the way. For you, it would run past your legs almost, so you'd have to trim it up a bit. But that one will run you about three gold pieces. Great. Done. I want to hit the general store. Okay, hit the general store. As you approach the white tent,

you see a female halfling there who's wearing a leather apron that has some tools tucked in there. There's nobody currently at the station, so as you approach, she looks out to you. You can see she has frizzy brown hair with some gray ones that are starting to sprout from the outside that's pulled back

and held in this giant poof of a ponytail. She looks out towards you and points and goes, Oh, hello, looking to buy something? Actually, I am. How fascinating that you caught me right in the moment where I'm ready to spend money. Oh, great. What are you looking for?

Well, I've got a couple problems. Problems? I have possibly some solutions. I've got a cart that keeps breaking down on me. That's a problem. So if you've got a kit for something like that. Also, I was thinking about maybe putting some canvas on top of it, giving it a little bit of

safety from the elements. I think I'm actually also probably going to need at least four tents. I've recently come into a bunch of new companions and they really didn't have what's necessary to make their way through these wonderful, wonderful roads. Tents, tents I can do. Two gold per tent. We have five ready.

If you need four, for four, throw those all together if you're buying a tent. Four will do it. How big are they? Are they four-person sleepers? They're two-person tents. Two persons. Okay. So you have to get four.

Actually, I'll get five tents. Five two-person tents, you're buying me out. That's ten gold, my friend. That's perfect. Pass them over, they're all rolled up and ready to go. As far as repair kits go, these are a little pricier. If you're looking specifically for cart repairs, one kit I can sell to you for,

we'll say, about 25 gold pieces. Booyah! That contains all that you'd require for any sort of on-the-road, going wheel repairs, your axle, any sort of your equipment for keeping your horses attached to your cart. You wouldn't happen to have any raw canvas

I could use to possibly put a bit of a pop-tart on? Raw canvas I can do, but beyond that, the rest of it's up to you. I'll take the repair kit and... 25 gold for that? Yep, and however much basic supplies to put this together, and we'll figure out how handy I am on the road. All right, rolled canvas here.

I've got about, say, 20 square feet of rolled canvas. Will that do? Will that do? Will it do? Uh... Hmm, that's not good. I'm used to yards, yardage. Three, what can I say? Five by five square foot is pretty big.

Nothing goes wrong, it should work. Is it waxed and reasonable? Reasonable, it's weather resistant. All right, we just have to make a little. Little bubble? Are we trying to do a covered wagon? We're trying to do a covered wagon. For the treated canvas, if you're taking the whole bowl,

that's going to be five gold. We're at 30 gold now. 30 gold? Like a half-covered wagon. 30 gold in with the tents, that puts it at 40. 40 gold. All right, so we've got the tents, we've got the canvas, and then just a little bit of lumber

to put this whole thing together, and then I'll do it. Define a little bit of lumber for the structure? Yeah, just for the covered wagon worth. I don't have much in the way of lumber. I have a few boards. Do you have bamboo? Whatever you have. There's no bamboo. There are wood slats, but no super long pieces that could be curved or domed over. All right. At the very least, we can fake something for now, so.

We can find wood. I'm not there. We can find something on the road. That's fair. I'll take, so what's my total right now? 40 gold. You do 35. Make a restoration check.

All right. Where is it, there we are. That's a, oh, that's a nine, that's nice. Ooh. The days grow colder, friend. Unfortunately, I've got to make ends meet. Can't argue, 40 gold. 40 gold.

Fantastic, thank you. I toss Percy 10 gold to Raymurph. Can't argue. 40 gold. 40 gold. Fantastic, thank you. I toss Percy 10 gold to reimburse him a little bit. Oh, you did it again. Two, I got two more and I get a free sandwich. You did it again. Is that 40 total? 40 total, yeah. All right, so that will.

Was it Percy again the time before, too? Stop saying the name. No, keep saying it, maybe I'll start rolling better. He's in another continent with kids. He's got his head shoved up the ass of a clock right now. Leave him be. That was a savage burn. All right, anything else you got to say?

Yeah, what is? Spreading out the leather hides and the making of the rye. What is Fjord doing right now? What is Fjord doing right now? He's fucking bored out of his fucking shopping mind. I see that. He's holding an invisible phone, just scrolling social media.

Checking Tinderbox? Yep. Tinderbox! Maybe if we half-work around here. You look bored out of your mind. Yeah, I'm not much of a shopper. Xbox, hey! At least we have four crowd here. You look bored out of your mind. Yeah, I'm not much of a shopper. Same, same, me either, me either.

So far, so good, though, right? Yeah, I mean, it's been without incident, which is what we want. I just mean, a lot of it, we've been together for weeks now. Oh, yeah. There've been together for weeks now. Oh, yeah. There's been some friction,

but we're still here. Yeah. Nothing we can't, you know, overcome. Everything's got its little bumps and growing pains, and I think we've had ours. You and Beau seem to make up nice. Oh, hell, there was nothing to when you held a blade to my throat. But we're making it work.

Indeed we are. You're a good guy, I think. Yeah, I think so, too. What does he look like when I say that? What do you look like when he smiles at you? No, I know what your face looks like. What does it mean? Double rainbow, what does it mean?

Pleasant smile. Okay. Caleb, Caleb, they have rambutan? What does it mean? It's a pleasant smile. Okay. Caleb, Caleb, they have rambutan, they have lychee, they have jackfruit, they have all sorts of different fruits. What did you just say? They have all kinds. What's a lychee? It's like a white little, it's got a big seed,

it's white, sort of citrusy, it's really good. I see what it's sweet good. It's sweet. Put it in liquor. I am from the north, we have brot, tomatoes, and cheese, and that's it. They may have a tomatillo, I don't know. What? It's really exotic stuff.

You teach me. Good talk. Show me what you're talking about. Come, come. Do I recognize anyone in any of these tents? No. No, you do not. That's a dirty picture.

No, it's not, it's a ballerina. No, that's a dirty picture. Anything else you guys wish to do, or do you move on, or? Okay. With your supplies gathered, you load up back into your cart, and then now shifting over towards where you see the signs,

the directions show NW, Railway Road to Berylbin slash Lavenda Swamp. Don't want to go there. NE, Gravelway Path to Hupperduke slash Silberquell Ridge. That's where we'll go. Then S, Railway Road to Felderwin slash Alfield. Right. We want the Hupperdook one.

M.E. Hupperdook. Hupperdook Gravel Road. Making the left turn onto that road, heading northeast, you begin to make your way towards the Silverquell Ridge. I guess we're going for the coconut. Did I ask if Kiri was cold? Do you get cold, Kiri?

Kiri's sitting there on the edge, eyes half closed, and her feathers are all puffed up, and she looks over towards you. Do you get cold, yes or no? Yes. You get cold. Oh, I run back in and try to get some warm clothes for Kiri.

Okay, easy enough. It costs you maybe three silver to get the proper, just over thick fur material to give her just enough to keep warm. Something really pretty, though. Beggars can't be choosers in this circumstance, but you get something functional. It's burlap, it's all burlap. Really itchy wool.

Oh no. Here she is. Continuing northwards, as the sky gets subtly darker and dark, preparing for what is the coming dusk, you see ahead what looks to be a caravan of carts heading southward along the road that's going to intersect with your path. What's ahead?

It looks like a caravan of, it looks to be, four carts heading your direction, heading southward and across your path. Give me C. Make a perception check. Ah! That's impressive. Woo, yeah.

Who's the other one? She's already had it. 15. Okay. Glancing ahead, there's still enough light for you to make out details. They appear to be mostly human, from what you can tell. Looking behind, looks to be a group of dwarf family members all gathered, and they appear to be families.

Do they look like fancy wagons? They don't. They don't look, they look like wagons. As they begin to approach, they turn and give them a wide berth. They're about to make room to travel past you guys. Could be a diamond shipment. Maybe I should ask.

Howdy. What news from the road up ahead? The gentleman at the front puts a hand up and the carts slow down a little bit. Nothing, just passing through. No dangers. Clear roads. Roads are clear so far.

What do the faces of the people who aren't talking look like? Make a perception check. Yeah, you look very... He's hiding something. 17. 17. There are men, women, children, mostly human, the three of the carts,

and one of them is a dwarf family. They all look somewhat nervous. Just like general looking out and like, shh, quiet at the kids. Have you been to Haproduke? We just rode past, didn't stop. Have you been to Hubbard Duke? We just rode past, didn't stop. Did you see the mushroom houses?

No. Damn it. Did you party any? Quick rager after the kids were asleep? I'm sorry, we must be going. There was no blazing drum and bass. The horses pick up their pace a bit more. What do the kids do as they move on? The kids just watch quietly as they begin to pass.

I didn't like his demeanor. No, where are you going? Are you safe? You are the worst people. He looks back and says, we're. No, where are you going? Are you safe? You're the worst, people. He looks back and says, we're heading south. What are you reading? We're just passing through, heading south. I look at one of the kids.

Are you safe? Are you good? Are you safe? The kid recoils from this blue-skinned, horned tiefling, all of a sudden engaging him from across the way. Kid just freezes in place. I don't know, I feel like they would've said

that they were in danger or something. They're trafficking kids. I'm afraid that's like, I don't know, I just feel like somebody's not safe there. All right, I'll cast Message on one of the kids. Okay. I'll say, if you're being kidnapped, you can respond to this message and tell me.

There's a pause, and you see the kid you're aiming at goes, with a big smile on the face, looks over and sees you and kind of, responds, No, we're just getting away from our home. That was like a real connection. It was! Ask what's happening at their home.

Okay, I'll cast it again. Where's home? You can respond to this message. Knock for art. Knock for art. Oh, oh! We're going, oh no! That's where the people have been getting stolen from! People are getting stolen, remember? But wait.

Yeah, Nogvarott is right where we're going. We're going past Shady. There's been a string of kidnappings there as well. This is where you're going, and the Nogvarott is this way. So we can do it on the point. Or you could, it'll take more time, but you can do that. But they're next doorsies.

We should avoid Nogroth right now. Kind of. We can hit on the way back, it's up to you. All the way back, all the way back. After we've already taken care of the stuff so we get paid. Do we know how much time we have left before our time is up with the gentleman's time limit?

With the days of travel, I'd have to go and do the math again, and I'm sure that the internet knows and has been keeping track. Probably fine. I'll check on the crit roll stats to make sure. We'll tell the group. But since you've left, just estimating right now, I'd say it's been

about a little over a week as of now. Then we have a month. You have a month. Okay. We're killing it. This is going to be the hardest of months. And we have a month. You have a month. Okay. We're killing it. Okay. This is going to be the hardest of months. Let's continue on. Basically got. Caleb is futzing again with the rock

and just massaging the four days of stubble that he has grown back in. His facial hair comes in as fast as Liam's does, so it's already pretty thick. Pretty thick. All right. You pass the caravan and they continue southward. Eventually it gets dark.

If you guys want to stop and make a rest for the evening, you can. So as you set off and set up camp, who's keeping watch this evening? We've got tents. I'll keep watch. All right, and you do have new tents, which is much more comfortable than the open air

bundled up with your blanket in the cold night, and as you travel further north, you know it's going to get colder, especially with the winter looming and the autumn coming to a close. One of us bought warm clothes. All right, who's keeping watch? Yasha and Beau.

All right, go ahead and make a roll, guys. Or one of you can manage, your choice. Beau's just looking at Yasha. We're bad. You see anything? 15. 15, okay. Because I don't see anything.

Well, let me give it a good look. They're like the ocean. Her eyes are like the sea. Your eyes are like the swamp, super muddy. Your eyes are like blue crayons. One's like the swamp, one's like the sky. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, one's more purpley, but I guess that's the sky, or swamp. Yeah. It's very diverse biodomes in your eyes. Well, yeah. Not biome, biodome. Biodome. Not biome, biodome. Biodome. Like a, I think that's a film.

You know, like, yeah. Waterworld. Pauly Shorewood. Let's go. We're off the rails. Yeah. All right. The evening passes without issue, actually.

Keeping a watch. You call that without issue? It's natural, it's in my blood. Touche. It's in my blood. You're so cool, how do in my blood. Touche. It's in my blood. You're so cool, how do you fucking eat gravel so hard? It's in my blood, man. Oh man. It's all a ruse.

So you wake up the next morning. You get the sense that being the vigilant beast that you are, if anybody wanted to come close to inspect, immediately saw Yasha and went, nope. Oh, that's... You continue on the next day of travel, heading upward, northeast, further and further. You can begin to see the edge of the Silverquell Ridge, the mountain range that, when you were approaching

the Labenda Swamp, began to rise and loomed over the swamp, and then began to slowly get more distant as you traveled southward to the crossroads, begins to come further into view again. The mountain range moving closer, more massive, peeking over this large, it's very, very steep edges to the base of this mountain range. You get the sense that passage over or through

is very specific, or at least nowhere, an invisible sight. As you guys begin to crest into dusk for this next fourth evening of travel, who's keeping watch? Me and Caleb. All right, you guys go ahead and roll perception checks, please. Six. Six.

13. 13, all right. As you guys are just setting up, Caleb, you're looking out past as everyone else is getting ready to bed for the night, and you look over and you can see what looks like a shape off in the grass. Looks like a, just like a, it looks like a mound, but it's hard to tell from the distance because there's something in the grass. Looks like a mound, but it's hard to tell from the distance, because there's something in the grass.

There's something deadly out there that wants to murder us all in their sleep. Well, it could just be an animal or something. It could be. Do you want to wake everybody up? Not yet. Let's find out what it is. Well, I can't see shit. You stay here and be ready to wake. Okay, well, hold on a second. Just where my cat is a scarf, and she digs,

damn it, my cat was a girl, but never mind. He digs his claws into Nott's neck and clings in. I'll flank around and try to see if I can see what this thing is. And Caleb sits between Fjord and Beau and loses his sight and vision and listens. All right. So make a stealth check, please.

One. Plus 10, but it was a natural one. Still a natural one. We're going to fuck a dime! You're ready. So. Get out of my eye line! Get out of my eye line. Get out of my eye line.

Will Wheaton? Yeah. All right, so. 30-foot radius. So. Sunglasses or anything I can wear? As you begin to slowly approach, make a perception check, please.

What's a 12? Do I get to make a perception check through Frumpkin's ears? Sure. Yes! Queen. It's a two. All right. You hear nothing. You glance around the corner and just beyond the grass,

you can see what looks to be an overturned cart. Not ours. Not yours. Another cart, it's just on its side. It looks like it has a cover over the top of it. But that's not where we saw movement. No, we just saw a hump, right? You saw the shape, and the shape as you approach looks to be an overturned wagon

roughly about 100 feet off the road. Okay. I will cast Silent Image, and I will make it look like there's just a curious human walking over there. Hi, I'm an American man. I pull out a wire and say, you're onto this, right? This is a possible ambush, yeah? It seems like likely, yeah. So Chent goes over there and checks it out. Chent?

Where have you ever met a Chent? You know, good old Chent. I already hate him. Walks over there. Hmm. Make perception checks. He's got a sweater around his neck and mid-thigh khaki shorts. 13.

Crocs? Is he wearing Crocs? Nothing. Abercrombie and Fitch top. Tell your man to check the cart. Yeah, he's over there investigating, nothing. Okay, I will withdraw him if nothing has happened. I take out my wire, I didn't see anything move. I think it might just be a cart.

It's got to be a honeypot. Probably, but give it a moment. Okay, we'll wait. Tell him to do the running man. He's not a good dancer, he's a white guy. Yeah, I can relate, but just do it. White man's over by, white man's over byite, white man's overbite, there it is. Yeah!

Hey, Mandel. No. Make a perception check. Okay. 15 now. 15. You see a brief, a split second of movement. You look and you see a crossbow bolt

hit the edge of the cart. Near where? Near where he was standing. Chent was? Who was still dancing. Oh shit, no direct, can I tell from its impact where, from once it came? Not from this distance, no.

Okay. Crossbow attack, crossbow attack, wake up everyone. I'll take them out single-handed. Switch to the cabbage patch. And I start punching Fjord and Beau in the shoulders. Shh, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet! Be quiet! I'm going to just keep flanking around in the shadows,

trying to stay out of trouble. I start quietly handing over everybody's mouth. Wake up, wake up, there's an ambush! Wake up, wake up, there's an ambush! I'm scared of Yasha, but I'd do it anyway. Wake up, wake up, there's an ambush! Are you all coming to consciousness? Yes. Who dares? I'm scared of Yasha, but I do it anyway. Wake up, wake up, there's an aftershock. All right, you all come to consciousness. SAM and LAURA, and MATT, and SAM and LAURA,

and MATT, and MATT, and MATT, and MATT, and MATT, and MATT, As all of you come to consciousness, you glance over and you can see the dark shape once Caleb points out the direction where it was. And as you're coming around the side, Nott? Because you did not roll a very good stealth. Oh, no, no.

You went forward and did not retreat? I'm trying to flank around. You suffer six points of piercing damage as a crossbow bolt catches you in the thigh. Oh, I will reduce that to three. All right, you glance over to the side and you can see what looks to be a humanoid shape that darts down into the grass

and begins shifting around the other side of the cart. Caleb would, at this point, once everyone is awake, Yasha was the last one to go back in to see what is going on. Oh shit. Nott's being attacked. Let's go. And I jump out of the cart.

Did I see where the creature went? Yeah, it ran down through the grass. Actually, make a perception check as you're trying to peer out through the darkness here. Six. Yeah, you have no idea. They vanished into the grass and moved, what you assumed to be around the cart.

I am doing my best Vax impression and making my way through the grass. All right, the rest of you following? Yes. All right, you guys are all, not carefully, just straight on running in that space. All right, you guys are all, not carefully, just straight on running in that space. All right, you guys are going.

Spread and flank. Still stealthing. Stealthily spread and flank. I'm trying. All right. I would like all of you guys to make a stealth check, please. As you try and carefully approach. At the slow pace in which you are approaching,

at that many feet away. Natural 20. Nice. Natural one. 16. Natural one. 16. Natural one? 14. 14. Four. Four.

Okay, four to Molly, lumbering across the field. Oh, oh yeah. In the meantime, two of the figures jump up from aside the cart and both take crossbow shots at you. That's going to be a 16. Armor class is 16. Just hits, and the other one is, that's a 12.

That does not hit. Okay. So this one, you're going to take four points of piercing damage. I already used my whatever reaction, so I'll take the full four. Okay. They both duck down behind, using it, put a buffer between you and them.

So now I know where they are. You know where they are, yes. But they're hiding. Correct. Hiding in the grass. Caleb, light them up. You guys are rushing in that direction. You see two figures dart up and then Nott,

very visible in the field. Can I use my action to message them, saying, there's two or three figures behind the card, and then I'll hide? Caleb heard Fjord say that and just went and there's four globes floating above us. I'm going to invoke duplicity. Okay, you invoke duplicity.

As Jester is delting below through the field, two Jesters suddenly appear. I'm going to send her out next to Molly. All right. Molly and Fjord, you guys rush forward as the little global lights all of a sudden light the area up a bit, like it has a very faint lantern light in the vicinity. I'm going to move on the opposite side

of where Nott is and do a quick run around and try and flank. Okay, Fjord? Yep, just swinging wide on both side. All right, as you guys rush around, Yasha, what are you doing? Yeah, I'm swinging wide, going around. Okay, you guys swing right around.

At this point, you see the figures, what looks to be now five of them, all pop up, two of them in the field off to the side that you weren't paying attention, dart up, and the three from behind go ahead and the three are going to take shots at Nott as well in the center. That's 21.

That's an 18. And 17. So that's six points of piercing damage, six points of piercing damage, and seven points of piercing damage. Nosh is being pummeled by bolts, and as Fjord and Molly start rushing up, a fifth one off to the side goes ahead and makes a shot towards Molly. That's going to be a 19 to hit. Oh yeah, that hits. All right, you take seven points of piercing damage. The other one goes and aims towards Molly and goes, wait, oh god! Stop, stop, stop, stop! Stop your fighting! And see the other dark figures look their eyes,

their heads swing over in that direction. What are you guys doing? Taking out the closest guy that's to me. Okay, the one that's closest to you is the one that shot Molly, who just popped out of the grass as you were pulling around the side. The one who was yelling? No, the other one.

The one that's shouting is on the opposite end. So they're really spread out? How spread out? I'd say, if you're looking at where the cart is, there's two on the sides here that were in the grass, and there's three that are directly behind the cart. Roughly how far apart are the two? They're about 60 feet apart.

60 feet. Okay, I'm going to hold slow for one side of the group until, if I decide they're a threat, if they sound like a threat. Okay, well you have to release it next round or the spell's lost, so. Yeah, that's fine. Okay, so you prepare and you're readying slow for whenever they, all right.

Can we see a visual event at the face of whoever is yelling that? There's very little light, except for a little bit of light that's coming from the sky. Didn't you cast the light? The globe's like a lantern light, but it's in the middle of the night. So you can see the shapes.

They're not able to hide at the moment, but you don't see any features or details at this moment as you're rushing up. Make a perception check. Do they see that Chent is now doing the sprinkler? They're aware. 14. 14. You do notice that all of them have these thick green cloth masks that cover the front of their faces. Kind of like bandits style, but cover most of the features.

I'm cracking the one in the head. Yep, go for it. As you rush up, go for it. Does he see me? I'm trying to one in the head. Yep, go for it, as you rush up, go for it. I hope he, does he see me? I'm trying to do this stealthily. He just finished firing and. Okay, while his attention is diverted, I'm going to come up behind and just try and do a crack and try and make him go to sleep, go to sleep.

Okay, go for it. Do I have advantage on this or anything? The first attack you do, because he turns and sees you at the last minute as you approach. Oh my god. 16. Shit roll. my god. 16. Shit roll. 16 hits.

Okay. Okay. That's 12 damage. Okay. And I'm going to do Stunning Blow. All right. Stunning Strike. Stunning Strike.

Is that a key thing? Yep, it spins a key to do it. Yeah, he does not succeed. He rolled a natural eight. Okay. He goes and kidney punch right to the side of the head. I'm going to just cover his mouth

and lay him down in the grass and do another blow to his temple to try and knock him out. All right, cool. And kill him. Nope, just knock him unconscious. Do I roll for, do I, is he? Go ahead and roll.

Okay. With advantage, because he's stunned currently. Natural 20. All right, because he's stunned currently. Natural 20. All right. Yeah, yeah. You whack and his eyes just roll back. Lay him down in the grass. Quickly declare yourselves. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The one guy stands up to the guy who was yelled at and goes,

We are so sorry. We are so sorry. We didn't know it was you folks. Our most sincere apologies. The other guy's like, What the fuck are you talking about? I don't understand. These are the ones that... How's the management working out? These are the ones that asked Trevor. They put their... Oh shit. We're so sorry. They drop their crossbows. Caleb let Slow fizzle. We didn't mean nothing.

We're so sorry. I'm going to fire one crossbow bolt at that guy. Go for it. Oh, it's only a 13. He's low on their armor, it hits. They're not very strong. Eight points. Oh, come on!

It doesn't feel good, does it? No, no. Is that apology accepted at this point? Do you guys have healing potions? Because you just sent a lot of arrows at Nott. I mean, at this, I mean. What have you got? You say her name, it's okay.

We don't have much. We're so sorry. Seriously, this is a huge misunderstanding. I'm just going to put this out here, that we just received an apology. This sort of behavior should be rewarded. You know the drill. Thank you, thank you. Take off your pants and walk away.

Make a persuasion check. And also leave one gift for us before you go. Because you're living. Oh. I rolled a one. No, henceforth. Oh, you fucker. We appreciate the courtesy.

He pulls the mask down. Take the cock. Take it. take it, that's yours. We'll just, the other guy's like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was like, no, no, no. Trust me, trust me. Yeah, we have a cart, we're good. Is there anything in the cart that is more interesting? Whatever's in it, it's all yours.

Back away from that cart, please. Right, that we do, guys, gentlemen back away. It's rough out here. They should take their cross with them. What happened to the owners of the cart? I am not taking their clothes, but I'm interested to see what they are carrying. That is very fair, let's take a look.

Is that your cart, or did it belong to someone before you? It belonged to someone. They were alive, we didn't kill them, but we took their stuff and we sent them on the way. Are you bullshitting us? No. Are you bullshitting me now? No!

Looking in his cart. Okay, make an investigation check. As I'm laying in the grass with the guy who I knocked unconscious, I'm going to pad down his body. Make an investigation check. 15. 15, looking inside. Natural 20 again? Ooh.

The 20s in a row! You take that, Wil Wheaton! Counter Wil Wheatons! All right, so. Counter Wil Wheatons. First off, glancing inside and looking through and rummaging and pulling, you can see most of the cart stuff is gone.

It looks like it has some simple grain bags and things that were placed deliberately that looked like it had a lot, and they just shoved all of it towards the exits of the two sides of the cover. But the interior, it's mostly empty. You see two blankets. That's about it. How's this working out for you? Obviously not very well right now. Yeah, are you better or worse than when you started? Look, it's as embarrassing enough as it is, it's hard enough to make ends meet. We're doing

what we need to to survive. We're happy to give you this. We'll walk away and pretend this never happened. I feel bad. I've got to admit, no, no, I have to deal with this. I'm going to walk to my cart. Okay. I'm going to pull out that armor that I got at the leather armor. At the orcs place? At the orcs place.

I'm handing it to the kid. Well, I don't understand. You're going to get shot at again. It's just, it's breaking my heart. You really can't find a safer line of work? You guys are just like... Yeah, head to the cities, work on a dock. I mean, learn from your mistakes.

What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing with your lives? He grabs the armor and tucks it in. Thank you. Thank you for recognizing and for being gracious about our previous deal. I appreciate someone who stands up and holds to their word. That's really nice, and that should be rewarded

in this world. Three strikes and you're out, so this is two. Right, no, we, yeah. They say we wouldn't be bandits anymore, but they are bandits. Well, you know, I wasn't really holding them to that one. Yeah, that's fine.

The next time, we are going to turn you into grease puddles, so maybe find yourselves a job in a store, or a dock, or a restaurant, even. Yeah, don't go working for criminals. Make baked goods. That's stupid. Well, at least be good at it if you're going to do that. I think they're freelance, Jester. They work for themselves.

Then if you're going to do bad things, at least work for somebody who's rich and doing bad things. Don't just steal from people on the road, that's stupid. Two of the guys go like, yeah, no, she's got a point. I walk up to this guy, and I take the stone out of my pocket, and I place it against his forehead, and I mutter a few words under my breath.

God, Felton is so crazy. And now I know where you are at all times, and I place it against his forehead, and I mutter a few words under my breath. And now I know where you are at all times, and I will know if you are still doing this kind of work, and I will come and I will kill you. Make a deception check with advantage. Natural 20. Just over here, just over here is our safe haven. He's nodding. You can see the sweat in his brow, and you can't help but notice the darkening spot

in his nether regions. Of course, sir. No worries, sir. I promise. No worries again. We'll go and we'll slot pigs. We'll do what it takes. Anything but this. Bye, boys! They're like, the fuck, you pissed yourself? Respect management. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. They pick up their crossbows and tuck them under their arms. Good night. Safe travels. You can leave. Oh, you steal from grumpy people. So true. Good night. They all immediately start, but the guy next to you is like, and as you're patting him down, two things.

One, you manage to get about seven silver from him. Ooh. That's all the money he has on him at the moment. Hey, big spender! Big spend bits. Okay. But you find a hard spot on the side of his stomach. They should probably get checked out.

Oh god! Is it bored? Why? Because he doesn't have anything else, but she rolled a 20 investigation check. I didn't know what else. Oh my god! Oh my god! You're going to steal his money and he's got medical problems. No, he's a warlock.

As they all leave, Beau peeks her head out of the grass and goes, I knocked one unconscious and I don't know what to do with him now. I could've let him go, but I didn't want to say anything in front of everybody because I started feeling bad once you guys felt bad. Do I have to heal him now. I could have let him go, but I didn't want to say anything in front of everybody because I started feeling bad once you guys felt bad. Do I have to heal him now? No, no, no. You're probably doing him a favor, all right? He'll wake up in the morning, no one will be here, he'll start his life, it'll be a new chapter.

No, they can leave him. We got one more of your, this one. At this point, there's a sound behind you. You can see Ciri running with her knife, going, I killed people! Don't kill this corpse, don't stab this corpse. It's not technically a corpse yet. I know, but she'll think it is. I pick them up. Maybe they can take Ciri.

No way! Well, I don't know, we need to get rid of Ciri. I mean, take her,ie. That's so terrible. You're for a life and adventure and imminent death. I take this guy's green mask. Okay. And his pants. And I give his pants to Jester.

There you go. Write that down in your equipment. I got pants! Bandit pants. I'm just going to add it, because I think I already have some bandit pants. There you go. Write that down in your equipment. I got pants! Bandit pants. I'm just going to add it because I think I already have some bandit pants. There you go. We can make a little bandit flag out of the bandit pants.

He starts coming to consciousness. Oh no! Oh fuck, sorry, it was a reflex. Just lay him in the grass. His friends have all run off northward, like, back the way. Your friend is, they're bad friends. He gets a fresh start in the morning,

it'll be fine. He'll only find better people. Okay, I try to lay him down gently. He's drooling down himself. I turn him on his side. Does he have any coin on him at all? I already have seven silver. These guys sucked.

I put two gold in his pockets. Okay. And judging by the map, how far are we from any tower? You guys are, at this point, about here. Oh, this guy's going to die. Oh, I feel bad about this one. You're about 24 miles out of the, away from the crossroads.

And how far away are his friends? They're not, I mean, you don't see them at the moment. He knows where their hideout is, he's fine. Oh, I'm going to pull the message, my wire out and message the one who I intimidated and say, you left him behind, he's here. What's the range on that? It's like 120 feet, I think.

I'm going to check it out. They're outside of your reach. It's 5,000 feet. He'll be fine, he's a bandit. Sorry, I just talked into a wire. You don't know, it's fine. All right, so. That went well.

Hey, Jester, what if we take them and we pose them and we put a drawing around them just in case anybody else finds them and maybe they think there's something wrong with this guy? Okay. Or like a sign? I don't know. The good news is we are in the middle of the wilderness and no one is going to find him.

I was trying to be jovial, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried that. What if we put some flowers in his hair and stuff so when he wakes up he looks really pretty? That's good. Let's do that. There's nothing better than waking up in the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair. I am also going to hair. I have a dagger and I'm going to shove it into his belt so he's not totally alone.

He's pantsless with a dagger, correct? Pantsless with a crossbow and what looks to be a simple short sword that's tucked off to his side. Oh, I didn't see that. I take my dagger back. He's fine, he's got a blade. He's got really pretty's got a blade. He's got really pretty flowers. His hair is filled with flowers.

He's just on his side, flopping away from this guy. Flopping away? The cart's there if there's anything you need to grab from it. I had a drop of lavender oil and I think we're done. There you go. Is there anything in the cart? No.

There's blankets, we can take the blanket. There's a couple blankets, there's a grain, and it has a cover on it. It is. This is why you buy the lavender oil. Well, they have a covered wagon. Like, yeah, well, the wagon has a cover. So we can just remove it and attach to ours?

Yeah. Or we can just take theirs and leave ours. Is theirs better than ours, or? The cart is comparable, probably a little more weather than the one you guys have. We can just pull and just be fine. This is so dumb, what color is it? It's a basic canvas.

It's like a tan. It is Oregon on Trail, got it. No, it's all about the dysentery. It's like a tan light brown. Okay. It's a Florida convertible. Yeah. It's the Volvo of wagons.

Yeah. Essentially. Chrysler Seabrake. Ironic that you went looking to build that when it was already in the possible adventure path. I put a little sign that says Baby on Fire. All right, so you guys pull that off. It's a Ford wagon.

Take the blankets. Take the blankets. Take the blankets, make your way back to your cart. Finish up your evening's rest, and in the morning light, continue your way northward along the road. All righty, so. It's a tiny-ass hoax. For the sake of brevity,

since we're getting towards the end of the evening. We should take the grain for our horses. We left. Horses eat getting towards the end of the evening. We should take the grain for our horses. We left. Horses eat grass. Let's count the grains. Oh my god, let's travel north for fuck's sake. The next two days go on without issue, passing a few travelers heading southward,

crossing your way, until eventually, the Silverquell Ridge grows more and more prominent in your line of sight. Following the path, the fields that surround the north road begin to give away to tall grass and trade for scrubland and rocks. The once vanishing shape of the Silverquell Ridge mountains growing bigger and bigger, the numerous columns

of mingling black and white smoke you can now see spill from the eastern side of the mountain, diffusing as they rise. As you travel even closer, you can make out the two-tiered layout of a city built into the mountain. One large region encircles the very base of the mountain. A hundred or more dark workshops and towers billowing smoke from chimneys and stacks visible.

A number of large constructions dock the open spaces between these towers, like some oversized cannons or others, like mobile siege towers. One resembles a wheeled, multi-tiered cart with numerous wicked-looking bolt throwers being attached. As you begin to head in this direction, you can also see this lower area, this almost industrial field of various engines of warfare that are in the process of being constructed. Some

even in their skeletal phase of being built. To the base of the mountain above that, you can see two winding switchback roads, as well as one very steep staircase that ascends to a second level, about 100 or more feet above the first, the base level. Here, you see, is a massive outcropping of leveled rock that holds the other half of the city. There along the ridge of the mountain shelf

lies hundreds of buildings and arches, occasionally dappled with an autumn-colored tree. Behind this city mass, you see a shimmering waterfall that cascades from out of the center of the mountain, about a thousand feet up, that glimmers like silver-white light in the little bit of sun that's coming through the clouds. You've reached the outskirts of Pepperduke.

This is not how I pictured it. I like it. I told you, city of industry. I like a good waterfall. Where are the EDM gnomes? Well, it happens at nightfall. Is it mostly gnomes that live in the city? I think mostly gnomes,

but I'm pretty sure there are other people. I don't know, I've never been here, I've only heard stories. Does it look like the buildings are teeny? From best you can tell from this perspective, make a perception check. 13. 13.

It's hard to tell. The buildings that are on the outside of the upper ridge look to be varying sizes. They don't appear to be super tiny or by any means. You do see from this perspective as you're heading down to the base of the mountain, you're at the top of the hill on this last leg as you start pushing in towards Upper Duke specifically. At the base of where the waterfall is hitting, behind that row, you can see what look to be numerous towers, thin and tall, like these weird needles of buildings that cluster around the base of the waterfall.

That's as much as you can make out of this distance. On a scale of one to 10, one being a shit-ass swamp town and 10 being Rexxentrum, what does the civilization level of this city look like? I mean, the technology, as you get closer and closer and begin seeing these fields of construction, the industry's pretty prominent.

It's the most you've ever seen. As far as the beauty of a living, civilized town, five or six, maybe? But not podunk. It's not podunk by any means. Yeah. It's well-built. It seems comfortable. The base area around the mountain as you begin to approach, and you can see now where the clouds and bits of

steam are actually mingling and rising up, mixing into the sky above you, the colors here are fairly drab. Browns, grays, dark graphite metals, and immediately you can see the ground itself. It's good water. You can see the ground itself as you step in areas has kind of just a faint layer of soot, where some of the burned materials that are pressed up into the air in this vicinity

have come down to settle onto the ground surrounding it. What do you wish to do? What time of day is it? It's mid-afternoon. Hmm. We should be combing the city. I think so. I guess we'll ride into the city.

Let's have a sleep somewhere comfortable. Following the path, there is a large metallic archway that rises into what is almost like a pointed entrance where, as you enter, you can see in the metal carved in with various rivets, Hopper Duke on the other side. There you see two townsguard standing there, both human. Standing guard as you approach, one of them steps forward.

Welcome, what is your business? Looking for lodging for the evening. We've been on the road for some time. Understood. You would probably want to go ahead and head up the mountain for that. Down here is all industry. All industry? you would probably want to go ahead and head up the mountain for that. Down here is all industry.

All industry? Where would we be looking for further up the mountain? He points out, well, this is the iron lot in the Assembly Yard. You're going to want to head up to the Idleworks Shelf to find lodging. Idleworks Shelf. Idleworks Shelf, yes. Any recommendations?

Favorite spots? Um... I mean, the most prominent and most lively would probably be the Blushing Tankard Tavern. I do like illiteracy. The Blushing Tankard Tavern. Illiteracy? Alliteracy. The blushing, tinkered, covered. Illiteracy? Alliteracy.

Not illiteracy, but alliteracy. Not often we find people a fan of alliteracy, but. Like, unlearned, folks. Well, we appreciate it, we'll head on up. He steps back to his post and just keeps an eye as you guys enter in the midsection. And so at this point, you begin to hear the actual industry here.

There's this faint buzzing and clicking sound as you see some of these large wheels that are affixed to the outside of these large towers are grinding, and you can see platforms rising up with the gears turning. On them, you can see numerous gnomes, male and female, in the process of building materials lifted onto higher levels. You can see some of these war machines that are being developed and designed here, are mid-construction. You get the sense that with the call of war, they're probably put into high

gear and developing whatever siege weapons they can possibly muster within a short time frame, and the furnaces are going well. And when you say war machines, how do you mean? From what you can see, mentioned briefly from the distance, you can see they have some larger wheeled platforms that have bolt throwers, which are large,

like imagine a crossbow, but on a massive scale, with a giant metallic spear that gets flung from it at a really, really powerful speed. You see three or four affixed to a single platform. You're not sure what animal would be able to pull that. You also see siege towers, 30 feet tall, wheeled with a number of ladders and platforms inside that are used to clamor against fortresses.

You see one, looks almost like a giant battering ram that is in the process of being constructed. The interior, like metal rod is currently just resting on the ground next to it, and they're building an outer frame. Looking past on the far end, on the northern end, you can see what looks like a huge cannon, maybe about 15 feet across, end to end,

and about three to four feet wide in the middle. That one is on a platform. The wheels are currently resting on the side and they're in the process of finishing the construction of the device. Make a perception check. Yes. 14. 14, okay.

Just beyond that, on the northern side, as you guys are riding past, and you get as much height as you can, beyond these towers, and what was referred to earlier as the Assembly Yard, which is the area where all these war machines are being built, you can see a roped section that is just pockmarked craters and scarred ground, what you assume to be a roped section that is just pockmarked craters

and scarred ground, what you assume to be some sort of a testing ground for whatever they've been working on over the numerous decades or more they've been here. You're not sure of the, actually roll a history check. Just because I'm curious to see how much you know about this. No, fuck me! Yes! He did it. He did it.

Fucked me pretty hard, that's three. I will. Can I use my Mystical Irritation to get an advantage on history checks? I'll allow it this time, but usually you have to decide that before you make the roll. It's not a lucky feat, so. To deciding it now.

But going forward. Not that much better at all. Wow. Nine. Okay, you don't, you haven't learned that much about the history of Humberdook. You know it's been here for a while, a while. This thing, this scarred pot mark land?

This city. This city, okay. It's been here for quite some time, so while you're not sure of how long that field has been there, you get the sense that this isn't a recent testing ground. It's probably been just their general testing ground for any technology they're developing.

Okay, okay. So it's not new, okay. Glancing back, you see more Crownsguard attire, though now you're starting to get to more gnomish Crownsguard who are established there. And on their backs, as opposed to spears or shields, the ready, you see similar weapons to what some of the army moving eastward were carrying.

You see long metal rods affixed with a wooden kind of buttress at the end. These strange firearms that have been very carefully relegated to certain individuals here are a little more in use here. Are there any platform shoes, glow sticks, or pacifiers? Make a perception check. 13. Not yet.

Okay. Are there any flowers that seem, that are even visible in this area? Make a persuasion check. Yeah, it's the thing parked out. Yeah, right? Pink hearts. Elimination. Perception check. Triple horseshoes.

Blue diamonds? Red balloons. 18. 18. As you guys are plopping along, you look down and most of the land here is fairly barren. The outskirts of this, whether it be just the heavy amount of smoke and soot that's put out by the industry, there isn't a lot of grass, and though that is here,

it's pretty harsh scrubland material. You glance down, though, and one of these small bushes does have a very unique looking white bud. They haven't opened yet, but they're beautiful amongst this stark ground. You could reach down if you wanted to. I reach down and I take it. And put it in my book.

Plug a couple and put it in your book, okay. There'll probably be something sighting closer to the waterfall, maybe. Yeah. Are the guards still within earshot? The ones you talked to earlier? No, you moved on from them, but there are other Crownsguard in the area.

You can hear the heavy sounds of metal clanging and the occasional sparks in the distance of some sort of welding process being done on some of the distant towers. You can see on the opposite side, the southern side, dozens and dozens of dark metallic warehouses and buildings that are junctured by hallways. You can see they're almost like small compounds

that are focused on whatever their specific businesses are in these designated, delegated areas. It's weirdly almost drab and dystopian in a visual perspective. When you come to the base of the mountain here, where you see that large, very steep staircase you were looking at, there are the switchback pathways up there, but as you approach, you hear this.

And looking up, you can see these chains, these big, heavy, dark chains are shifting. And as it does, you can see this platform begin to lower from the city above, heading in your direction. In front of you at the base of the mountain, you can see there are a few other individuals that are sitting there waiting patiently. You can see this platform eventually comes down

and seems to be one of many means to make your way to the second part of the city. Will our old cart fit on it? It's a lift. Hold the elevator! That seems safe to you. Do we have to pay for it? It's a lift. Hold the elevator! That seems safe to you. Do we have to pay for it? It'll be fun.

All right, as you approach, as you approach, you see there are four Crownsguard, one dwarven, three gnomish that are there waiting. You see the few figures that were waiting patiently. They appear to be well-dressed human, one half-elf, wearing reds and gold velvets, look to be relatively well-off, standing definitely out of place in this rather dark space. They step onto the lift, and as you approach, the guards put their hands out. I'm sorry, who are you? We're guests here.

Just looking for lodgings for the night. Lodgings, well, you'll have to take the path upward. This is designated for guests of Hopperduke. That's what we are, we're guests of Hopperduke. Guests of whom? Hopperduke. Guests of Ophelia Mardune. Yes, that one.

Make a deception check. 16. Yeah, he goes like, I'm sorry, I don't recognize the name. You'll have to take the path. That's not our fault, she's very important. I would hate to keep us out of her good graces. I feel like the pull she has in this city

should be more than enough to lower us to you. I guarantee you, sir, I've never heard the name before in my life. But there is always a path. Well, you'll know of her name after today, I guarantee you that. Hope you enjoy this post for the rest of your evening. Of course.

He goes ahead and takes a small pistol out from the side and aims it in the air and it fires. There's a puff of smoke and the chains begin to lift back up. I really want to be on it, Oh man, come on, I really want to be on it. Come on, come on, man. Let's get on, man. I don't need that ride. The hell was that thing he shot in the sky?

Moistmaker. It's like a firecracker. As you guys are frustratingly fuming over that not quite as positive experience, a voice from around behind you goes, Um, well, no. You look like you're not from around here, is that true? You turn and glance behind you,

and you can see what looks to be, through a surly grin and a curly mop of brownish-red hair, a female gnome in her young adult years wearing simple clothes, some leather gloves. She has dangling around her neck what looks to be a set of eye protectors. She's rubbing a little bit of soot from her chin. So, you couldn't take the lift.

Well, we could have, if he would have just, this guy, he would have just listened to us, because we are really important people. Are you? No, we're not. See, that's going to get you far here. Honesty. Self-deprecation? Oh, honesty.

Well, probably both, depending on the time of day. Right, yeah. So who are you, I might ask? We're the Mighty Nein. Travelers passing through somewhere else. So you're not from around here. I like that. What brings you to Hopperduke?

We thought the name was funny. That is accurate. Her brow furrows and a smile curls even wider across her face. You're not wrong, you're not wrong. Well, I happen to be a local looking for a way to kick off some boredom. So, mind me showing you around?

Oh no, what's your name? My name, Risa. Pleasure to meet you, Mr.? Fjord. Fjord. Mayhaps we be getting in some trouble, too. I hear you people like to get in trouble here at Hopperduke. Especially at night.

Uh-huh. Well, we get about two hours. Oh, that's like four o'clock. Wow, amazing, right? Well, at this time, it'll probably be about dusk. That's like eight o'clock. Crazy. We've got to find a place to store our stuff

and hopefully find an inn for the night first. There's a few inns to pick from, we can take your own. Here, I'll lead you up the walkway. Follow me. She's nice. Why? That's killer. Do we have this tourism look to us?

For sure we do. Very much so. We might as well be wearing fanny packs, all of us. Whoa. Kind of back in now, though. We should get some fanny packs. We're not. Like an amazing fanny haversack?

Oh, my god. You don't want what's in there? Just keep pulling stuff out? Yeah. Yeah! Just got slapped right so it's like easy. You guys begin to make your way up the switchback path up the mountainside towards the upper edge of the shelf.

On that way, your new friend, Risa, jumps up into the cart with you and says, So I get the sense you don't know much about us here. How much? Oh, no charge. Or buy me a round. Or five. What do you want? And we'll call it even.

She wants booze. I'm going to keep an eye on her, because I think she's going to try to steal some of our stuff. Okay. That's all I ask. Maybe help me fuck with a friend or two. What?

Just say yes. She's just like us. We're visitors here. Yeah, she just has to fuck with a friend. Say yes. She's just like us. We're visitors here. Yeah. She just has to fuck with a friend. Say yes. Yes? You make really bad first impressions, too.

She's basically you. That's true. During all of this. She looks to Beau and is like. I nod back, yeah, yeah. Anyway, don't worry. The place is a bit droll, but once the sun's down, it gets interesting.

During all of that yammering on the way up, I look over at Yasha and just sigh out. Yeah. A little crazy? That's it. Are you saying you are crazy? I mean, you did that in front of everybody, I just. Are we having an agreement?

I am crazy. Oh. I can see that about you. Anyway. So things are a bit busy around here. They're busy most of the time. The general workday here is about 10 to 12 hours. No weekends, no breaks like the rest of you

lazy and lackadaisical folk. Private contractors. Fair enough. But give you a quick tour of the place. Should give us right about time to get some drinks. Drinks is a great idea. As you make your way up the mountain,

making a small chatter, eventually you come to the outskirts of the Idleworks Shelf. Here, encompassing the outer ring of this elevated shelf of the Supercrawl Ridge, is a lively district of taverns, inns, merchants, open pavilions that are currently empty. But you see, it looks like the place is pretty much perpetually decorated for some sort of an event

or a festival, but it's in disuse at the moment. It is just empty, and everyone you see in the street, there's nobody taking a walk. Everyone is rushing from one place to another, or shouting commands. There's a general air of busyness and intent in each person you see. As you guys leisurely stroll through,

every now and then you get this side eye of, let me just continue on past, majority of the people here are gnomish. Probably 80% of the people you see in the immediate vicinity at any point in time are of gnomish heritage. Only offset maybe by the occasional dwarf and some human half elf. That's about as much as you've seen

in your path here so far. We, as a much taller, United Colors of Benetton pack, draw a lot of attention as we walk through. I mean, you do as you do. You are a very colorful ensemble whenever you enter any sort of a new settlement. Have you seen any other people since hitting the city? Not yet, no. All right.

But to be fair, most of the streets are empty, unless it's people going from business to business. It's an interesting feel. It's almost like the town's a ghost town, or it's dead outside of those that are in the process of making errands or doing runs. Is it sooty up here, too, or is it? A little bit, but not as bad as below.

Okay. At this point, your friend Rissa's pointing out in different directions, and is like, all right, and then that way, this is the center of hubbardic culture, here on the shelf, where most of the folks come to unwind. Beyond that, you can see what's called the Silver Falls, pointing over there.

That's the core of where most of the residents live, sleep, make their families, amongst the small towers you can see. From this point, you can now see what those strange finger-like protrusions that were guarded around the waterfall are very condensed, thin, and tall metallic towers that have balconies and little windows.

Oh my god. They have skyscrapers. It's a condo. It's a condo complex, yeah. But they're three stories, maybe four stories at most, and a lot of them look like they're off-kilter, and the MechCon construction looks not safe, though they probably are. It's a very unique living situation. You have an encounter with any other people

in the Empire and beyond. Glancing up, you can see there are a few folks that are out there in the process of laying some rugs out and hanging them over the side. One woman up there is throwing some seed to some birds that float by and start eating off the edge there. Rhys, you mentioned culture. Are there any libraries here in Abadook?

I'm sure there is. Not anything I'm bothered with, though. Not much of a reader. No. My father, he might know, but you don't want to talk to him. Where do the best parties happen? Just wait, be patient, be patient. Do you live on the high floor or a low floor? I choose to live on a low floor.

Less stairs. Yeah, it gets warmer up top anyway. Don't want that. Walk up that tough. You're telling me. I want my quads to be ready, in case I need to go to a sprint. One for my life, you know.

Do you build the machines down there? I used to. Occasionally. What do you do now? I supervise. Supervise what? You're being a bit nosy here, not going to lie. I know we just met and helping showing you around, but.

I mean, you offered, though. Offered to tell you about the city, not about myself. Okay. Ah, well, we are a traveling group of, uh, hired guns who can get shit done. We are a varied group of people. Some of us learn, and some of us are good at smashing skulls. Um, we would do, uh, any kind of work if it were presented to us. That's who we are. We're a motley group of assholes.

I think you'll fit in quite well around here. Did you get fired? Oh my god. What, I just want to know. I was just trying to diffuse. Yeah, Fjall, you gave her information, so maybe she'll give us some. Did you get fired?

I haven't found a vocation that fits my personality. Oh. Tried some things, wasn't my thing. Undecided Major, I like it. I can get behind that. Yeah. Yeah. Where should we stay tonight?

Well, there's a few different places. Are you looking for a quiet spot to sleep, or are you looking for a wild place to not sleep? It's pretty clear we're looking for a wild place. Beau is looking for a wild place to not sleep. Blushing tankard it is. Gushing tankard. Blushing tankard. That's a difference.

That's a very different. At this point, the oranges and reds of sundown have taken the sky, and you hear this pop sound. What was that? Wait for it. You look up and you can see these splashes of light in the sky above you, these faint fireworks start going off. What?

Papa Dodger's playing? You start hearing shouts, voices echoing from the city, from the towers, from behind you, along the shelf. Yeah, yeah. And all these steam whistles start going off. Whoo, whoo, down below, echoing from below. What is that? And the streets suddenly come to life.

As people begin to rush out of buildings, taking off their aprons, taking off their gloves, go ahead and setting off whatever their work attire is and rushing off to home to unwind, there is a rush of energy, and you begin to realize Beau isn't kidding. This is a party town. This city's awesome!

They work hard, and at night, they play hard. You brought us to Florida. And that's where we're going to finish tonight's episode. Steampunk Burning Man! Portlando, Portlando. Fourth Street in Austin. Oh, Fourth Street. Oh, I love Fourth Street. All right, so we'll pick up this next week. We may or may not

have Ashley, depending on if Skype is available. Wait, what? Yeah. But the following week I'll be here. Yeah. But nevertheless, thank you guys so much. Thank you, Wil Wheaton, for not ruining our lives. Yeah, Will's been offset trying to curse my dice. Apparently I deflected it to the party.

Happy about that. I don't know, I'm doing pretty good right now. Thank you guys for joining us tonight. Red player one was good, everything else bad. But anyway, we'll see you guys next week. Have a wonderful weekend and the following week from there. We love you. And is it Thursday yet?

Good night. Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure. To help new listeners discover the show, please give us a rating and review on whatever podcasting app you're listening on. Until next time, is it Thursday yet?