Critical Role - C2E30 The Journey Home
Episode Date: August 10, 2018Reunited at last, the Mighty Nein journey back to Zadash, hoping to find closure with those they've lost and the contracts they've made...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.tw...itch.tv/criticalrole
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Hello, spellcasters, sages, and spectators.
I'm Ashley Johnson, and you're listening to the Critical Role Podcast Network.
Tap into our magical narrative by watching Critical Role as it airs on Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific
on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole.
Twitch subscribers can watch the video on demand right away,
or you can catch it the following Monday on YouTube. As always, Critical Role will be
available right here in podcast form on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. And now,
let's scry into the story and see what mysteries it holds for us, shall we?
Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode
of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors
sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons.
Shall we?
Which, if you recognize from those voices we have
returning finally after the first reign of parenthood,
Travis and Laura, welcome back.
Yay!
You guys are a sign for sore eyes.
We have missed you so much.
I am so happy!
How's the kid?
No, he's great.
Yeah, no, he's just a lovin'.
He's here in the studio right now.
So you might hear crying.
If I get up from the table,
it's because I'm going to go feed him.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's true. He dictates all.
Yes.
You're at his whim.
Welcome back.
Thank you.
Happy to have you.
We missed you at the live show.
Oh.
I know.
Yeah.
Thank you to the fans.
We were there with you in spirit.
We loved the birthday song.
It was such great energy.
You guys did so good.
The audience was fantastic.
And you guys looked wonderful.
You especially, Samuel.
Yeah, Sam especially.
Thank you. All right, so let Yeah, Sam especially. Thank you.
All right, so let's go ahead and get our announcements. We're going to kick into the game
today. Tonight we have two fantastic sponsors. Our first, our wonderful returning sponsors for
Campaign 2, our friends at D&D Beyond. Sam.
D&D Beyond! Thanks to D&D Beyond for sponsoring and helping out with the live show. Your
sponsorship dollars will help our cast pay for the and helping out with the live show. Your sponsorship dollars
will help our cast pay for the therapy they need after seeing my junk so close and personal. It's
been a while since Travis and Laura were here, and this is their first show at the new studio, so D&D
Beyond wanted me to bring them up to speed to catch them up with all things CR. So here's your
update. You might want to take notes. Laura, the new wifi password is DallasSucks with an X.
Travis, we rented out your parking spot to Brian Foster. The cardboard box he lives in will be
parked there until September 15th.
I thought he was in the cave.
The Wayfarer's Guide to Eberron, the Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica are both available on D&D Beyond.
Travis, while you were gone, we discovered Fjord's middle name is Bronco, so that's canon now. Laura,
while you were gone, your dice were all loaned to Wil Wheaton for a little while. Oh no. The break room is open to all, but from 9 to 11 in the morning, Max uses it to poop.
We have a code system for reserving the makeup room so no one walks in. If you're
breastfeeding, hang a sock on the door.
Got it.
If you're waxing Sam Riegel's chest hair, you hang a bandana on the door. If you're
having sex, leave the door open, because that's kinky.
Travis, we reinforced your chair to accommodate your baby weight.
It's real. Guys, just get a two.
Laura, you are a perfect creature who creates magical life with the power of womanhood. Taliesin's new
character is a cleric, so you don't have to heal anyone. Liam shaved, it's Ashley's birthday.
Marisha no longer thinks sleeves are bullshit, now she thinks they're assholes. All furblogs
know each other. If you go number one, please use the bathroom marked Pia Stock. If you go
number two, use the bathroom marked Hupperduke. And there are flies motherfucking everywhere in the
studio. And that's it.
Thank you, Sam. Thank you, D&D Beyond.
Thank you, D&D Beyond, for sponsoring that inane list.
We appreciate that. Thank you, Sam, thank you, D&D Beyond. For sponsoring that inane list.
We appreciate that.
I had a fur blog in the early 2000s.
Yep. Updated it every day.
For you.
Our second sponsor tonight,
our fantastic friends at Dwarven Forge.
You may have seen some of their products
used pretty consistently on this show
since I've had access to them. I've hungered after their work since I was a mid-20s-er,
whatever you'd call that. Thanks to their Kickstarters and their update from Dwarven
Knight to Resin, I was able to find them more affordable, and I love using it. They're big-time critters as well. They've been invested in the show, and they're also just general
leaders in hand-sculpted and painted terrain sets. I love them. They launched another Kickstarter
recently for their Caverns Deep set, which is awesome. It offers 15 different distinct encounter
areas, like as it says here, the Webbed Layer, the Mushroom Grotto,
and a brand new forest terrain system
called the Dread Hollow Forest,
which me and Liam got to unveil at Gen Con
in a live game that looks so fucking cool.
I backed that shit.
Oh, man.
I backed that shit.
Immediately. So did I.
So we're there, you should back it, too.
They also put out a video, I think,
yesterday or the day before,
that unveils one of their passages.
I think it's the prison passage,
where you get to watch me, as a little mini,
get imprisoned, brutalized, and then murdered.
It's funny. I didn't realize
when we were trying to save your voice box
in the game at Gen Con that that was part of a running.
It was an inside joke of the upcoming video, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
They asked if I'd help out with that,
and I'm like, fuck yeah.
So you can become a backer now if you're interested
at critrole.com slash dwarvenforge
for all the information about the current Kickstarter.
It ends August 14th, so it ends ending really soon.
So if you want to get in there
with all the amazing stretch goals, go check it out.
And be the first to check out the exclusive Kickstarter
at the price point that only the Kickstarter enables.
You missed the struggle in your head.
Honey Heist 2, Electric Beargaloo.
Oh my god.
Will air tomorrow at 7 p.m. Pacific time
here at twitch.tv slash Critical Role.
Critical Role. And alsole. Critical Role.
Also, if you haven't seen yet, my fireside chat
that we had on Tuesday is available on YouTube
slash Critical Role, where I drink a lot of really nice
port and talk questions and fun stuff.
It was a good hangout time.
Hope to do those more in the future as well.
I actually really enjoyed just sitting there
and getting mildly tipsy with the internet.
It's fun.
What the hell was that?
Looks like it was the magnets.
Oh god.
We hold your sex toys on the desk, man.
Underneath.
Did my headphones already get updated on my thingy?
Yeah.
That's the DM.
That's what happens when people aren't updating it
fast enough and we need to update the sheets here,
so I do it for you.
Just blame the baby, Just blame the baby.
It's okay.
Can we get a show of hands for everyone
who got max HP this level up?
Yeah, it's fucking bullshit.
And you, and fuck you.
I got three last time.
Yeah, we got new baby badging, man.
That's true.
She did roll pretty poorly last time.
Actually got an 11.
No way.
Yeah, so.
Whenever we get her back, she's going to be a little beefier.
So, and last but not least,
we have a bunch of new items in the shop.
We have our retro tees back.
We have the new Critter cap is in stock.
Oh, that's Laura's job. That's my job.
I thought you said you didn't have anything to update.
No, I said I didn't have anything to hold up.
Then here, go for it.
We have no shirts. We have no hats.
She's been talking so long, I don't think her head will hold up.
I'm sorry, I'm out of practice.
I don't know which camera to look at, because it's a little different than before.
This one? There's a bumper stick that says,
Traveler is my co-pilot.
Keep going, yeah. Do it for your son.
We have the Mighty Nein shirt. I don't know what else is there anymore.
Jeez, get it back, Mom.
Yeah, yeah.
The bumper sticker.
We have the bumper sticker, we have the hats,
we have the t-shirts, and we have a pin
which is going to come back in the store.
It's not in the store just at this moment,
but it will be back. It will be back, yeah.
You can find those at shop.criticalrollback.
And those are the things coming in the store.
Nice job, babe.
There you go, welcome back, welcome back. Top shelf.
As a reminder, we have our Wyrmwood giveaways
at the break, we'll have information on that
when we get to it, but you'll have to jump over
to the twish.tv slash Critical Role chat
to jump into it and be a part of it.
But we'll tackle that when we get to it.
With that, our announcements for the evening are done.
I have a question. Yes?
Where do I add the plus two to strength
for the dad strength I have now?
SAM and LAURA and LAURA and SAM and LAURA
SAM and LAURA and SAM and LAURA
Your timing is impeccable.
With that, let's dive into tonight's episode of
Critical Role. Woo! Thank you. LAURA and SAM and MARISHA and SAM and LAURA and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and SAM and And welcome back, everybody.
That was a unique rush.
Yeah.
Well, that's all.
Let's roll one of those.
Okay.
Cheers.
So, last we left off,
and we're going to do a little bit of time bending here
so we can make sure we get everything we want to.
Last we left off, the Mighty Nein,
upon heading towards the second leg of their journey,
completing a task for the gentleman
of who they had left Sadesh to earn money and praise with,
found themselves in the outskirts of Hupperdook,
where three members of their team
were captured in the middle of the night
by a group of traveling slavers.
Which members?
Pay attention.
Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh, these are, you've got to have one
at every point of the party.
If we lost one, we gain one.
So, I know.
These two members, Yasha, Jester, and Fjord,
all captured by the Iron Shepherds, this group of slavers,
and dragged north to Shadycreek Run,
outside of the laws of the Empire.
The rest of the members finding new allies in Keg,
the Dwarven Fighter, Nila, the Fearbolg Druid,
and a brief reappearance
of the fantastic human cleric, Shakasta.
Shakasta! Shakasta!
These friends together manage to storm
the gifted stronghold of the Sour Nests,
attack and destroy one by one this team of slavers,
leaving the Iron Shepherds down to their last few
in the subterranean basement where these cages
contained their friends, chained and held in darkness.
There, the battle with Lorenzo,
revealing his final form after stalking them invisibly
from the air for their entire journey
through that fortress,
revealed himself to be an oni,
a terrible creature of nightmare
and entirely unnatural strength and capability.
However, through some ingenuity,
fast thinking, and some incredible luck,
Lorenzo found himself unable to escape.
The members of your team knocked unconscious,
brought back from the brink,
and a final blow was dealt by Caleb
as his arcane cinders burned away
the final remnants of Lorenzo's demonic form.
How do you want to do that?
There.
As you began to inspect the interior
of the subterranean chamber, you discovered in one set
of these prison cells to the left, there lie Chained,
Jester, and Fjord, and the other, an unconscious Yasha.
With that, you had made your way through the bars,
unlocking the mechanisms that held them at bay,
and have now come back face to face
with your taken friends, with one new friend
and one missing, and that's where we come in.
Jester.
Mm?
You and Fjord both in the chamber,
after enduring
the sounds of other captors being punished,
being tortured, and a nearby friend enduring it silently.
Just to frustrate them, you've been trying desperately
to contemplate ways of escape, to try and find a way
to relieve yourself of your escape, to try and find a way to relieve yourself
of your bindings to no avail.
And then suddenly, there's the sound of battle,
weapons scraping on stone and metal and flesh,
screams, familiar voices, flashes of light,
the air rushing warm and cold with the nearby blasting
of arcane energies, divine forces and powers
brought in to sustain and snuff life, and then silence.
You hear the voices come close, and as you barely manage
to move over and glance over your shoulder,
you watch as the bars swing open
to the chamber where you're held,
and the tiny form of Nott the Brave rushes over and embraces you, saying,
Case closed.
Oh yes, okay, okay, okay,
I'll take whatever's on her mouth off.
You pull off what is essentially a thick leather gag
that has been keeping her from speaking.
Hello.
How did you guys find us? Well, we followed the clues.
We traced the evidence.
We thought about it logically, and also this girl
who was walking down the street told us where to go.
Really? Yeah.
I didn't even get to tell anyone.
I tried to, I tried to cast Sending, but my hands are bound.
Oh, let me untie you.
I'll cut out, cut off her hands.
They're bound by chained monocles,
but we'll say, given the fact that there is no immediate
pressure of time, you take your time with the bindings,
using your lockpicks, and manage to free her of the manacles.
Thank you.
Fjord is also tied up, though, really bad.
How are you doing?
Oh, sorry.
Oh, my muscles would be really sore.
This is really hard for me.
Somebody else should help him out.
Are you sure he's not just like?
Seriously, though, this is really painful.
Okay, okay, we'll help him out. Do you know how's not just like... Seriously, though, this is really painful. Okay, okay, we'll help him out.
Do you know how bad it is to have your hands
tied behind your back for several days?
I don't, no. It's not fun.
Oh no.
Fjord, are you all right?
Are you injured?
Did they cut off your thumbs?
No, we got our thumbs.
Where's...
Where's Yasha? Oh, I don't know. Do you guys see Yasha?
Oh, I don't know.
Do you guys see Yasha?
They took her out of here, they were.
They knocked her unconscious.
Hey! Yeah.
Beau, do you see Yasha out there?
I look in the other chamber, is she in there?
As you guys had noticed at this point,
you've glanced over in the other chamber,
and you do see, faced away and lying
within the other chamber, is Yasha.
You manage to eventually get it open
and inside she is lying there, motionless.
Can I check her to see if she's still breathing?
Mm-hmm.
It's relatively easy to check.
She's breathing and she looks pretty brutalized.
There are gashes and tear marks in the flesh
where hooks were pulled through.
There are streaks of dried blood on her.
But she's not unconscious within an inch of her life.
She's a hardy woman, and she's endured a lot,
and then some, and...
She lies here unconscious before you,
still bound in manacles. Seeing Beau go in ahead of me,
still sitting on the table, I mutter a word
and cast Knock and the manacles fall away.
Deuces.
Have any healing left?
Not a drop.
You've, I have healing, though. Don't worry, I have healing. Who are you? I have healing.
Are you okay?
Yes, I mean, I can heal. I haven't been using any spells. I can't use anything when your
hands are tied.
I just give Jester a big hug.
Thank you, Beau. Thank you, guys.
Well, let's move.
I go cast Cure Wounds on Yasha.
The wounds seal up and she notably becomes healthier. You watch as some scars still remain,
but she's further from the brink,
but still unconscious.
Is the room clear?
Did you take care of all of them?
Yes.
Yes, I think so.
We haven't scouted around every...
There's so many.
We had some help.
You did?
Shacostas here.
I saw Shacosta. Shacosta's here. I saw Shacosta!
No, we saw him in one of the, I just couldn't tell you, I saw him in one of the other cages.
I didn't see him.
There's also a really nice firbolg named Nila. Her son and her mate got scooped up.
Is that like Pumat Sol?
Yeah.
Yeah. It's like him up. Is that like Pumat Sol? Yeah. Yeah.
She's like him, too.
Oh, this is Caduceus. He also came with us to help out.
Caduceus?
Hello.
We met him this morning.
Yeah.
We've had an interesting 24 hours.
I'm here to help.
I made a deal with this one.
It's okay.
Oh. I like your hair.
Thank you. I like your hair.
Thank you.
Caduceus, I'm Fjord.
Fjord. Appreciate your help.
You want to get up out of this thing?
Yeah.
If you don't mind.
Where's Molly?
Welcome.
Who?
Molly.
Oh.
Oh, your friend.
Ah.
Jester.
Is he waiting upstairs?
He didn't make it.
To this dungeon? Because he's waiting upstairs?
He didn't survive the trip.
I'm really sorry. Was that when we heard you guys?
The caravan.
We were in the caravan. We heard you guys fighting.
You were in there? Fuck.
We heard people shouting, I heard you go for Molly.
Yeah.
We couldn't see you.
We could barely see anything.
We were stuck, the head is gagged and bound.
I swore I heard a few voices,
but we were moving before we knew it.
We tried shouting, there's just no way you could hear us.
No, we are sorry.
We tried our best, but it wasn't good enough. He tried his best.
He got right up in Lorenzo's face, and
he just wasn't strong enough.
We, uh,
we got cocky and underestimated.
Our enemies.
That's not your fault.
Where did you leave him?
He's buried in the wood, in the Bramblewood, right?
No, that's not right, that's old Kemping.
Yeah, no, you buried him along the Glory Run Road.
It's a fitting name.
We can, we can take you there.
Okay.
It's on the way back to Zadash. We've got to talk to the gentleman anyway.
Did you kill everyone here?
I think so.
Lorenzo?
Yep.
What about that short guy that was really mean?
Prado? Fuck him.
Prado?
Prado?
Yeah.
You know, we should be sure.
Having a nasty lunch with Lorenzo
was not what he seemed.
No.
We need to give the house the once-over,
make sure there is nobody left.
We agreed to clear this house of everything.
Fuck!
I'm sorry.
We should have seen them coming, heard them.
We just weren't expecting it. We should have seen them coming, heard them.
We just weren't expecting it.
It's no one's fault.
Doesn't feel that way. No, it doesn't, I was lying.
Yasha, Yasha.
Yasha doesn't know. She won't know for a while.
It always takes them a while to wake up.
That elf and woman, she would cast something,
she would do something to the manacles.
To make them impossible to knock us out.
Beat the fucking hell out of us,
and then if there was anything left, one touch,
and that was it, darkness.
We overheard them saying that
they were trying to break people mentally.
Do you know what they were trying to use you guys for?
They were going to use you guys for?
They were going to sell us.
To who?
Whoever would buy us.
Whoever was paying.
I think they were trying to work on our minds first.
Sounds like Yasha got the physical part next.
It was a long night.
I preferred it to the beating, though.
So we saw blood when we woke up.
Was that yours or theirs?
Probably ours.
Fuck you guys.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't even know what to say. Well, piece of shit is dead. All his fucking cronies are dead.
We learn for the future. This won't happen again. You understand me?
I mean, this is pretty good from a certain perspective.
I mean, you think about it, bad things happen to people
every day, and then you have a bunch of people who care
about you so much
that they come and save you, fix it, defeat a great evil.
I mean, nothing this good ever happens.
This is great.
I'm going to go check upstairs.
I think you guys have a lot to talk about.
I'm going to head upstairs and start searching.
You turn around, there's Keg awkwardly standing
in the back of the chamber hearing all this.
She's going.
You can see the guilt in her eyes.
She goes, I'm going to go join Caduceus.
Pulls out a cigarette and lights it as she follows him up.
Caduceus is an interesting one.
You know, like his hair. He's got great hair.
I wish I had hair like that.
Yeah, me too.
Pretty positive.
Whatever he says.
You guys did come to save us, though.
Thank you. Really.
We did.
We laid down his life for you guys.
He was the best of us.
We had no choice, I mean.
You did, you did have a choice.
Yeah, you did.
You could have let us go.
I wouldn't be telling you the truth
if I didn't consider it for a couple days. I would have laid down my life for you guys.
I would have tried to heal you back.
Thanks, Jester.
Here. Pull out from the back of my...
From your butt? What did you pull out of your butt?
It's Molly's sword. Pull out from the back of my... From your butt? What did you pull out of your butt?
It's Molly's sword.
Big butt?
Beau got a big ol' butt.
I think it would suit both of you.
But I feel like one of you should have it. I mean, you roomed with him the most.
Yeah.
But I like really cool things,
so I mean, I will take it if, you know.
Do you even use swords?
And I was also a tiefling, he was a tiefling.
We were both really cool.
What about his jacket?
We left it to Marcus Craven.
Yeah, that's nice.
It's probably stolen, but you know, the thought was nice.
People need killing if that happened, so you know.
If I ever see anyone wearing Molly's coat.
Oh yeah, we're going to fucking slit their throats.
Unless it's him, you know, he could come back
from the dead or something, he's done it before.
He's done it before?
Oh, right. Yeah, I remember.
Lucien.
Lucius. Lucien.
Lucius.
Luciel. Nonagon?
Luke.
Kind of a moot point at this moment.
You're right.
I would be honored to have the sword.
Caleb.
Thank you.
Oh.
Group effort.
Sure was.
Nott.
Thanks. It's an honor.
Beau.
Thank you.
Thank you, Jester.
Maybe we can hold onto some of those gags
while we leave.
Me and Fjord spend a lot of time together
in this cell. Okay, it none of that happened, no.
Lots of eye contact happening just between me and you.
I've heard stories about people in captivity
resorting to primal instincts.
Yeah, I noticed him rolling over towards me several times,
if you know what I mean.
I do know what you mean.
He just kept wiggling.
You can't really move very much,
you just wiggle I mean. I do know what she does. You just kept wiggling. You can't really move very much, you just kind of wiggle like a little.
Cold at night, you had to snuggle for body heat?
Like shoulder to shoulder like this.
Ooh, ooh, that's all I need to know.
But really, we should get Yasha out of here
because she's still unconscious.
Oh yeah, yeah.
This is fucked up.
Stop joking, guys, this is serious.
Oh, oh, oh!
Kiri's fine.
Did you wait? Kiri's okay, Kiri's fine.
We found a new home.
I know, I was there, I said goodbye to you.
Oh, you did.
I understand how you would think,
because I wasn't quite myself.
Oh, also, there's this town where there's these gnomes
and they dance all night. What?
Yeah, it's called Hupperduke, it's the funniest name.
I love that name.
And before that, I forgot how long you were gone.
Too long. Too long.
Too long. You long. Too long.
You've done a marvelous job.
We can't thank you enough.
Let us help you with whatever.
Insight check.
Has he been turned?
Is he different? Is he weird?
Go ahead and make an insight check.
Fuck!
I'm serious.
15.
Oh shit.
You're smooth.
Laslo has jumped bodies.
Who are you really?
Good times, you guys.
Let's get out of here. Yeah, please, get us the fuck out of here.
Are there other prisoners in this area, too,
or is it just us?
You guys were the first ones that were,
you were the prime candidates to be broken.
We were extra special.
Hey, guys.
Fuck human traffickers, am I right?
Yeah.
They are terrible.
Let's go rob them blind.
Okay, let's do it.
I bet they have so much stuff.
We rob them blind.
Shouldn't we try and wake up Yasha?
We have two healers here.
Three. We healed her, she's. Three. Well, we healed her.
She's still just...
Is she just out because of the effect of the...
I will hang out with her
while you guys go check the house.
Please bring me any books.
We get everyone out of the basement
and we lay Yasha down upstairs someplace comfortable.
I will sit with her.
As you guys bring her up
and you look for other people who are in the cages,
you notice that they're all missing.
Shakasta has ushered them out of the complex
to get them to safety, as he said he would.
Oh, Shakasta. Yeah.
Caduceus and Keg are up there
sharing a conversation,
feeling like the proverbial outsiders.
Yeah, yeah, I didn't actually even search the house.
I just ended up in the kitchen.
I'm starting to cook food.
It was a nice kitchen when we ran through it. Yeah. So I'm trying to see
if I can put together some sort of omelet or something.
I love that.
I love it.
Keg is going through the corpses of the different thugs
and rolling them for change.
She got the cigarette hand out of the mouth, like,
feeling for pockets.
Who's helming the investigation of the stronghold?
I'll take one.
All right. I will assist.
All right, so go ahead and roll twice.
So roll with advantage.
What was that thing where I can spend a ki point now
and do another roll on my hand and self-check?
Well, no, it gives you advantage
to spend a ki point to do it.
Oh, which I already had.
Which you already had, yeah.
Okay, 16.
16?
Sorry, 15.
15, 15, all right.
Over the next hour or so, as you guys begin to tear through,
and someone wants to take note of this,
these are the things that you find.
Short rest. All right, short rest. This is me writing this, these are the things that you find. Short rest.
All right, short rest.
This is me writing this stuff down now?
That's your job, isn't it?
Well, somebody hijacked all my good pencils
when I was gone. I got it, I got it.
Here's a pencil.
All right, so amongst the bodies
and materials that have been set aside
to equip those who exist within the Sour Nest.
You get six short swords, two long swords,
two crossbows, three shortbows,
eight sets of partially damaged leather armor.
They're all used.
They're not in the highest quality.
They're functional.
We can sell them.
Possibly, depending on where you take them.
That's the low end.
Because it got higher than a 12, you do find,
I mean, the bottom floor is a number of the second
basement floor, you find a plethora of torture implements.
Plenty of brands and small blades and hooks.
You find what look to be flaying knives.
It's a terrible array.
If you were to choose to take any,
you could write down torture implements.
Should you be so inclined.
You do find on the bodies of the...
Shooting a hostile sequel.
Yeah.
On the bodies of everyone who,
all the bodies that still remain here,
as the body of Lorenzo is destroyed,
other than the glaive,
you find 131 gold pieces across all those bodies.
You stole from me!
And the storage chests that are in the various bunkers
in the top floor.
You also find a potion.
It looks like a weird, syrupy, quicksilver type of a liquid
on the inside of this little glass vial.
You find this receipt. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.
Good for our taxes.
Service and payments to the Iron Shepherd.
House Jagentoth?
Who's Jagentoth?
I've heard that before.
Yeah, Keg is spoken.
That's the opposing house to House Mardoon.
Oh, the house that sponsors the Iron Shepherds.
Yes.
These are the receipts.
These are the receipts of, yeah.
Oh my god.
Travel for Hired.
Bribery.
Bri.
Ooh, this could take down the check and toss.
Delivered goods, polished.
Take them down in a place that has law.
All right.
But it may have some use, you don't know.
Fuck me.
You do get the baseline 15 DC, though,
and you're going through the upstairs chamber
that you found to be Lorenzo's chamber. You discover,
through the bed, you find 15 gold pieces scattered in some of the shelves near the bed unit
beneath where there's the platter containing the remains of some young creature. Beneath, tucked
underneath the bed and up into the slats,
you find what feels like a heavy leather bag of some kind.
You pull it out and what you find is a-
Nothing's trapped, right? Nothing's trapped.
You can check if you want to.
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead and make an investigation check.
Want me to check?
Are you with me?
Yes, please.
I was assisting.
Yes.
That rogue shit.
Yeah.
Investigation? 22. All rogue shit. Yeah. Investigation?
22.
All righty.
I'm not even drunk.
Not trapped, just well hidden.
Okay, okay.
You do find this thick leather satchel
as you pull it back, it's well made.
It has some stains on it, it looks like
some more of a Cripsan history,
some just look generally like dirt wear and tear.
Crimson. Crimson.
That's...
But the stitching is really well done,
and it looks like the front of it
almost looks like a face, the way it's designed.
Does it have an open jawstring?
Can I look inside?
It has a little flap that opens up, yeah.
And you look inside, and it looks like an empty bag.
A lick.
Yeah.
Maybe it's another haversack.
Yeah, does it seem magical to you?
I mean, reach in.
Okay, see how far your hand goes.
Think of gold.
See if I pull it goes. Think of gold.
See if I pull it out.
No gold.
Did it feel cold in there or anything?
The temperature felt consistent
with the temperature of the room you're in, but you're-
It's the bottom?
Yeah, I got an idea.
I'll take one of these longswords
and I'll put it in the back.
Why just poke through the thing?
Why don't we do something that won't poke through?
Too late, it's happening.
It vanishes into the satchel.
Wait, motherfucker.
But what else could be in here?
Oh, that's right.
I'm going to reach in and think of...
Think of donuts.
Finger.
Think of something good to eat.
Finger foods, finger foods!
Nothing comes up. Think of something magical.
Gem, healing potions.
Think of something magical.
Ox parts.
Think of poop.
I'm going to think of gems.
Precious stones.
You don't get any stones, no.
Think of jewelry, think of jewelry.
That was close, though, think of jewelry.
How do you know that was close?
I just feel like it was. Think of the heads think of jewelry. That was close, though, think of jewelry. How do you know that was close? I just feel like it was.
Think of the heads of his enemies.
I mean, I don't want to touch that.
I know.
But what if they're in there?
They don't want to be walking around with heads.
I think of jewelry!
Jewelry.
Damn, he's looking, so there's something,
and there's something in there!
You're looking what?
Let's see.
I don't know.
We're looking to the reflection of his ir brush. Caleb, wait, wait, wait.
Caleb, no!
I know what you want to read.
So here's the thing.
Read all you want, guys.
I do know that with my haversack,
where is it, by the way, who has my haversack?
We have it.
We have it.
Caleb's.
I think Caleb has it, actually, yeah.
Which is great, too, when you see the dirty cabin,
like the giant, bright, hot pink haversack
over the shoulder, it's a pretty great visual.
Irving, wait for the right moment to get it back.
If you cut the haversack, all of its contents spill out.
You could have ruined it.
Oh wait, but that's good.
Or from the outside.
If you cut it from the outside, if you pierce it,
all of its stuff falls out.
But then it's, can we repair it after that?
No, it's done, it's done.
Let's see what Caleb can do with it first.
Okay. Are there any books in his that, Niusen? No, it's done, it's done, Skis. Let's see what Caleb can do with it first. Okay.
Are there any books in his room,
specifically for Caleb?
Looking through, not much of a reader.
Not a lot of readers in here.
Just issues of chance.
Yeah.
The few that had any sort of magical persuasion,
of any sort of magical persuasion,
none of it was knowledge-based,
most of it was instinct or just natural innate ability.
Piece of shit ability, is that what you mean?
Sure. Yep.
Douchebag ability.
Can I go through and look around for any papers
or anything that would... Documents.
Documents that would point to anyone else
that he was working for or selling to or any?
You guys did together?
We did.
This is the next hour, hour and a half of you guys
going through as much as you can, as quickly as you can,
because you are still not supposed to be seen
or found in connection with this,
but you all eventually gather everything
and come back to Caleb.
You find him while they were gone, Caleb, holding the huge slash on his chest together
and the coat is ripped, lay down next to Yasha, just looking at the ceiling. After a long moment
of silence, said, Oh, it's quite a day, yeah?
You're injured? I didn't even know.
Is everybody injured?
I'm sorry, we went faster.
We're a little banged up, but we're fine.
We're fine. We're fine.
Why should you wish it on me?
He'll, yes, sir.
What time is it, actually?
You would gather at this time,
it's maybe close to three in the morning.
Sunrise is not that far away.
Did we see Caduceus upstairs?
Yeah, Caduceus was in the kitchen cooking
and you begin to hear some pots rattle around
and you smell some nice scents of fried herbs and veggies
and some other non-meat-based food preparation.
I pour you back down to Caleb.
I said, do you need a hand?
Oh no, I'm fine, I got this.
This is no problem.
Oh.
Yeah. Okay.
I'll go back up.
If you find anything that looks good to eat, actually, just bring it back up. I'll cook it
right up. That's no problem.
From downstairs?
You never know. It's a good basement. You could keep a lot of roots down there. It'd be very
fresh.
Roots?
Potatoes, turnips, carrots. Roots.
Yeah. Sure.
Had a carrot before, right? Yeah. No,. Roots. Yeah. Sure.
Had a carrot before, right? Yeah, no, I've had a carrot.
Oh yeah, that's good, they're really good.
Do I smell anything?
Nah, it smells like breakfast, fuck it,
I'll go back downstairs.
Hey, Matt, question.
Yeah?
Do I, between me and Caleb,
who has keen memory,
would we remember how many prisoners were in
the Stronghold, including these guys?
Including these guys?
Yeah, but not how many they've seen.
And escaped.
How many did we let go?
Including Shacasta.
Including Shacasta?
If I'm recalling, nine?
Nine.
Nine.
Is that what delivers good polish means?
Not delivered?
Okay.
Just making sure. Yep.
Polished.
Yeah, polished, does that mean like beaten in?
Yeah, erased.
All right. Broken.
Let's get the fuck out of here.
You don't want to get a little healing first
in case there are fucking hyenas outside or some shit?
There's bears.
Oh, that counts.
There's bone bears.
Bone bears? Caleb is slashed
across his chest.
There's also a road, so we'll be okay.
Can I hear this conversation?
Sure, we're around.
I'd recommend staying the night.
You're all pretty banged up.
Yeah, I was going to say, we do have cover here, right?
There's even beds.
What if they have others working with them
who come home?
That is a good point.
I would so want someone to keep watch.
That worked out really well for us last time.
Okay.
Let's take it easy.
Are we all in the same room at this point?
Yeah. I think so.
At this point, you guys have gathered together,
we'll say it.
And we handed you the Haversack.
I have a...
Never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow.
Kill the rulers. This is, oh. Never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow. Here it is.
This is, oh.
Because I'm a healer, I'm a really good one.
What's that new magic you used?
Amazing.
I know, I know, it's pretty impressive.
Wow.
Healers are like cats, you have to have two, you know,
so you can keep each other motivated.
Otherwise, one's just bad.
Yeah.
You don't need enough competition.
I've been carrying this for you.
My bag!
Yeah.
Thank you, Caleb.
Although it looks really good with your coat.
I know.
Looks better on you.
We didn't find any books upstairs, sorry.
No, I didn't think, thank you.
We found a strange bag.
Maybe when you're feeling a little better,
you can look at it and tell us its magicalness.
Yep.
Oh, now?
Oh, no, whenever you like.
I hold my bag up to Caduceus, Cad's hair.
Okay.
Does it match?
Look out on the floor and start tracing the symbols
on the floor and give me ten minutes.
I'm going to lay down and take a short rest.
This bow is feeling rough. All right. Tired. I'm going to eat some and take a short rest. Beau's feeling rough.
All right. Tired.
I'm going to eat some of Caduceus's food.
Caduceus eventually comes and joins you guys
with platters of all sorts of well-cooked,
well-spiced, organic vegetables,
and whatever else you happen to have on.
As a D&D, everything's organic.
Yes, that's true.
Mushrooms, beans.
No, blood pudding.
So bad.
Mm, coffee.
Sounds exciting.
So what are you casting, Killy?
Hmm?
What are you casting?
Oh, identify.
Identify, I think.
Whoa!
Wow, it's a lot on the ground.
That's a big epic foam right there.
You guys know what this is?
No. Is it?
What is it?
Ah! Is it the thing? Is. Is it? What is it?
Ah!
Is it the thing? Is it the bag?
This is a bottomless bag.
Yes. Bottomless bag.
It's different from what we have?
Well, it's got a bottom.
It can hold a lot, though.
It can hold a lot.
Can it hold more than mine?
Yeah.
Well, then it's expensive,
because mine is very pricey, and it holds some stuff.
Well, if you know how to bargain, maybe.
Who wants it?
Who wants it?
Who wants it?
Whoa, what happened?
I mean, I know what happened.
Fuck.
How about I hold it for you?
Yeah.
Tradition.
Wow.
You can cook.. You can cook.
I definitely can cook.
I mean, I can, whether or not it's any good,
I'm not sure, but if everybody's happy with it.
What are we doing, are we staying here?
It's pretty good.
Or are we hitting the road?
Okay.
I just start scarfing because of the cold.
Make sure you know everything you can do,
so you guys don't repeat those things.
I was nabbing for a moment, what?
Badass, what do you want to do?
Are we staying here, are we hitting the road?
You're the leader, Caleb, you tell us.
You're the leader?
Oh yes, he took a position of authority
while you were gone, and he rose to the occasion.
Oh, that's wonderful, Caleb, I'm very proud of you.
Mr. Caleb, you don't really look
in the state to travel, really.
I mean, just to point it out,
you've taken a bit of a beating today, and.
Well, I don't always look great, but point taken.
There's a bed upstairs.
I think we should stay here.
We can all sleep in the same bedroom,
and you can put your wire thingy in front of it,
and then we'll know if anyone tries to break in.
We could drag mattresses down into the living room,
light a fire.
Have a fort party? Fort party.
That's a good idea.
I have a surprise.
Oh. For you all.
What is it?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Is there light in where we are?
Is there torchlight or anything in the lower space?
I think you guys are probably not hanging down
in the torch dungeon right now,
which has very low red light
from occasional low-burning wall sconces.
The main chambers are well lit with torches
in the hallway areas, and the interior chambers
are a little low lit, so there is light,
it's just not a lot.
Can I take the bag and just hold it up
under a light source and look in,
see if there's stuff rumbling around?
Does it just look empty?
You look inside and it looks pretty empty.
Can I shake it, does it make any noise?
No noise.
I'll reach in and just grab the inside of it
and turn it out and see if there's stuff.
Okay, as you pull the bag inside out, and just grab the inside of it and turn it out and see if there's like stuff.
As you pull the bag inside out,
it jolts away from one side of your grasp
and you watch as a bunch of things
just spill out of it onto the ground.
From the bag?
From the bag. How'd you do that?
What is that? What's in there?
Why did you do that?
Yes, I was hoping for it.
Yeah, to take all the hidden goodies inside.
It's a pinata. Yeah, to take all the hidden goodies inside. It's a pinata.
Yeah, I have deep arcane ability.
What is that?
Did you break the vat? Did you pierce it?
Is it ruined forever now?
I just turned it inside out
and all this shit poured out.
I'm going to pick up a couple of things.
Yeah, let's go. You're a wizard, Harry.
Come on, whoopsie.
So the heavy noise that draws you guys over to this
involves collecting 101 platinum pieces.
Whoa!
Whoa!
We are dumbasses.
Four additional sets of manacles.
Those things, those fucking things.
Why do these things follow us everywhere?
They're evil, those are really evil.
It's almost like there's a slaving
on this manacle.
Did the lady ever say anything when she was casting
or was just touching it?
It was just casting this spell,
and she wasn't always touching it necessarily,
she would just near it and something would show up.
About two dozen teeth clatter to the ground
from varying backgrounds and levels of decay.
A meat hook, a handheld meat hook, looks a bit rusted.
Gross.
There is a red gem, a well-carved red gem
about that big, not quite a ruby, a well-carved red gem about that big,
not quite a ruby, like a corundrum gem,
and what looks to be a sealed envelope,
a wax sealed envelope, but as part of the seal,
there is a coin pressed into the seal.
What does the coin look like?
That will kill you, 100%.
Physical props!
In fact, you recognize it immediately.
This is called a galley.
This is a galley.
Galley is specifically a gold piece
that is produced along the Menagerie Coast.
It even smells good.
It smells like home.
Maybe we should open it.
Is it trapped?
I will look at the coin for traps.
Make an investigation check.
Caleb is doing a silver wire while that happens.
23. Okay.
It does not appear to be trapped.
You guys, should I open it?
Looks like there's a handprint on the back.
Ewe, is it blood?
Does it look like blood, or does it,
it kind of looks like somebody spilled their hand
in tea or coffee.
It's a little more of a grease stain
of somebody who was holding it,
not necessarily any blood stain,
almost like Lorenzo maybe had rasped it while.
Should I open it?
Yes. A little greasy.
Should I open it, should I open it?
Yes, yes, it could be a wedding invitation.
Okay, I did it already.
Ooh. Oh my god, this is awesome.
Oh goodness, whoa, what is this thing?
There's a drawing on it. It's a really good drawing.
It is a very good drawing.
What's that peach?
Cantaloupe.
It's like a melon with a cut in it.
Many thanks to you, what is that name?
Jonas?
Ionos, I think is what it is.
For dealing with the thieves who appropriated my possession.
Reliability like this will prove profitable for you and your house should you continue to be.
One half of our agreed payment is enclosed.
Is that the 100 platinum? Was one half of it?
With the other being paid upon recovery of the cloven crystal,
I think that's what this thing is,
it is imperative that you find this bauble
and return it to me.
It has great sentimental value to me and my family.
This rendering should suffice to guide
the discerning eyes of your hunters.
I pull out the red gem and hold it next to the picture.
Does it look like the same?
The red gem is just a square-shaped,
hued gem.
That looks like a crystal sphere
with a giant hacked crack across the front of it.
Time is of the essence,
and should I not have it by the end of Queen...
Pillar? Queen's?
Quenpillar?
Quenpillar, is that a month? What is that?
Quen Pillar is a month, yes.
Yeah, we know that month.
Time is of the essence.
Should I not have it by the end of Quen Pillar,
I will be forced to end our agreement
and seek a business relationship elsewhere.
I warn you, we are fiercely loyal to those who appease us
and staunchly resentful to those who do not.
And then he said, ah, when he was writing it for sure.
When recovered, please deliver to
Marius Lepoile at the Wayfarer's Cove.
Thank you?
No, tell him you have a gift.
For the captain.
And it's signed Avantika.
The Wayfarer's Cove, you're also familiar with.
It's one of the three main shipping yards of Nippidranas.
That is you guys.
So what's the gist of this letter?
Someone hired someone to get some stuff back from a thief.
There's more stuff.
If they don't get it soon, someone will be pissed off.
Marius Le Pen?
So wait, somebody hired, do you think,
oops, do you think somebody hired Lorenzo to do this,
or do you think that Lorenzo stole this from somebody?
Yes, sir.
Will you hold up that letter
so I can see the drawing, please?
Do you recognize it, Fjord?
Doesn't everybody?
It looks like a cantaloupe with a hole in it.
It's in your belly!
Is that what's in your belly?
It's pretty damn close.
Ah!
It looks like an eye.
So wait, wait, wait.
So we just need to return you. Hold on, this letter
was for you?
Are you Marius Lapelio?
Do you know Avantika?
I just sit down on the floor
and lean back against the wall.
Have you ever been to the Wayfarer's Cove?
No.
I have, I've been there before.
No, that's not true, I have.
But you're from the Menagerie Coast,
so it's when you guys moved.
Yeah, I've been there.
Yeah, but he wasn't in the Kudranas with me.
Yeah, but I've been to those harbors before, many times.
Wait, wait, wait, so if we bring you there,
we'll get 100 platinum, you think?
Where did we find this?
Excuse me, just a moment, I'm sorry.
Does anyone have a glass bead?
Just a glass bead, cheap, doesn't matter.
No. Glass?
Do I have something on me? Would I have a glass bead on me? You have 50 rings, do you have a glass bead, cheap, doesn't matter. Glass? Do I have something on me? Would I have a glass bead on me?
You have 50 rings, do you have a glass bead?
Necklace is anything, do you all wear a glass bead on you?
I'd give my beaded bracelet to Nott.
Nott, you still have my beaded bracelet, right?
The beaded jade bracelet?
It's not glass.
Would it work?
I have shards of shiny pottery,
silverware from the fish people.
Human jerky, a dead rat.
Human jerky? Uh-huh.
Where the fuck have you guys been?
A vase, some old flowers.
Your rings, do any of them have just a glass?
Do they?
Costume jewelry.
Sure.
I prize it.
Oh man, I really like the look of the...
You break it apart. You break it up. What looks like I really like the look of the...
You break it apart.
What looks like a really nice pearl.
Okay, good. Throws the ring away.
No, no, I didn't mean it!
Caleb.
As you were, and then he just starts muttering again
and walking around the circle that the silver wire was.
You get the sense that it's not a real pearl.
This is a pretty cheap piece of jewelry.
Okay, wait.
Let the masters work here.
Okay, let's figure this out.
Where did we see that?
Where was that?
Was that in the tree?
That was in the tree.
No, that was in that thing.
Underneath the tree.
With the fish people.
With the fish people.
Yeah, they were like worshiping it.
What are they called?
They're called merrow.
Merrow.
Okay, so the merrow stole that
from a water place, right? You just spit on this letter. Okay, so the Marrow stole that. From?
A water place, right?
You just spit on this letter.
I'm a goblin, I spit.
Did you know that the thing that's inside of you
is called the Cloven Crystal?
Or the Clover Crystal?
No, it isn't.
Cloven Crystal.
Well, now we know something.
And the Marrow stole it from someone here.
Wait, do I know Marius Lapula?
You have no idea who that is.
You've lived in the town for a while,
and you know a lot of things about the locations,
but you haven't traveled around Nicodranas.
No.
So the people you know are those that have come in
and out of where you grew up,
and that name does not ring a bell.
Now, that is the captain.
This is a mystery.
It is.
It's all this.
Could I see it for just a second?
I'll give it a try. It's evidence.
Yeah. Wear gloves.
Make sure you don't get your fingerprints all over it.
I would like Caleb and Beauregard,
and Fjord, actually, the three of you,
to just roll intelligence checks.
Why not us?
Why aren't we?
Caleb is not paying attention to anything going on.
That's true, so just Beauregard.
Just three intelligence?
Mm-hmm.
Oh boy.
Five.
Five.
Okay.
Bummer.
Would I roll an intelligence check?
No. Damn it.
Is this a real coin?
That is a real coin, yes.
It is a gold coin, if you'd like to take it off
of the envelope, you may add one gold to your...
No, it's so pretty on the envelope, though.
Avantika? It really does smell like home. Avantika? You only have one gold tier. No, it's so pretty on the envelope, though.
Avantika?
Avantika? Avantika?
Iannos.
The captain.
The captain was the person who stole it?
No, what?
No, the captain, he has the letter, I can't tell you.
Tell him you have a gift for the captain
when you see Marius La...
Pwaal.
Pwaal at the Wayfarer's Cove.
Okay.
Well, I have the Cloven Crystal.
I do not have access to it at the moment.
I poke his belly.
Do I feel a little hard spot on it?
Do I feel it?
I rub it. Can I feel a little circle on there?
Little globe under there, on there?
Please, stop.
Fjord is expecting.
Maybe we should have Caleb check out some of these items.
I mean, what if it's a meat hook, like, you know?
He's muttering and walking in circles.
It's magic, you throw it and it comes back to you or some shit.
You should just try throwing it
and see if it comes back to you.
Matt, what was the Cult of the Caustic Heart?
I'm trying to remember.
Which one?
Cult of the Caustic Heart.
Cult of the Caustic Heart.
That was, if I recall, with Kelliana.
Mm.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it was.
The two dozen teeth,
are there any of tusk variety?
Looking over them, it appears that one of them
would be similar to a tusk, yes.
Can I take that? Sure.
Everybody hears some muttering behind them
of words they don't understand,
and they hear Caleb say,
and a large bubble goes
in the entire entryway, and there is a giant half dome
of pale orangish-brown energy,
and then you just see Caleb's head go,
hey, look what I made!
What is it? What is that?
Can we go into it?
We go in.
Is it a dope pillow fort?
Can we see through it?
At the moment, looking at the specifics of this.
Caleb, can you hear through it?
Yeah!
Can we come into it?
Only you!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a door? Can I go, do I just hit the side of it? How do Can we come into it? Only you! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is there a door?
Can I go, do I just hit the side of it?
How do I get in?
You walk in and as soon as you're in
and look back where you came,
you don't see what you walked through,
you just see the room and everybody around it.
They can all come in, but be quiet.
Okay, okay.
This is so cool.
Well, you need like pillows in here, Caleb.
This is really neat.
Well, it's a- I'm going to walk in.
Did it work?
Hello. Hi!
Does sound come out of it?
Can I hear them talking?
Yes!
Probably.
Hi!
Are you okay?
Yeah. Oh god!
You can't see us, but we can see you.
We've been working on this for weeks.
This is really cool.
Yeah, it looks like a solid dome
of faintly orangish-brown colored energy,
and you can pass through it.
It feels like there's nothing there,
except for the temperature on the inside.
It's nice and comfortable.
Does anybody, can anybody come through?
Or only your friends?
Only people that you like.
You can come in.
That means you like me.
I'll try and push my hand through.
It goes through.
I pull Fjord in.
Ah!
Cool.
So the idea behind this
is that if we sleep in a field or something,
nobody's going to come and take us off
to be tortured in the night.
I like that idea a lot.
And we can go through it, you can go through it,
I can go through it, and well, I have to stay inside it,
but excuse me.
So smart.
I got very excited.
Oh, now we're trapped in here with the fire,
and it's like a big Dutch oven.
Oh god, I'm going to die.
It's unbelievable.
Human turkey.
I have bigger ideas for a big place,
but I'm not, that's, I can't.
But this I can do. It's a storehouse, right?
Very good.
Yeah.
I like it, it's cozy.
I like it, too.
Well, it feels like outside, except, but, you know.
And also, if we're ever in a tight spot, you know,
and we know something.
First game back.
Yep.
I don't know if I'm looking at Laura or Jester.
If we're ever in a tight spot, I can also do this,
you know, if we are in real danger. That's a little tricky, because it takes some time to do it.
Oh, yes, yes. It's brilliant. I love it. Caduceus, come check it out.
I'm going to walk in. This is really nice.
Really nice.
How tall is it? Is his head touching the ceiling?
Oh yeah, how tall is Caduceus?
How tall?
How tall?
Like, what was it?
Seven?
About seven feet tall.
Yeah, he's a tall, tall guy.
Whoa!
How tall is the roof in here?
Like 100 feet up, I think.
Oh, the roof is tall, the dome?
The dome is about a 10-foot radius.
So 10 feet at the top.
Yeah, yeah, 10 feet up.
So I couldn't make any furniture yet,
but anyway, in a pinch, and tonight.
Eight hours. And the alarm is up, so.
You can do both at the same time?
It's been done not.
Beau goes out, grabs a bunch of pillows from the couches
and just starts throwing them in.
A voice in the outside goes like,
where'd everyone go?
Oh, sorry. Who is that?
That's Keg, probably.
Keg, we're in here.
Hey, Keg.
Can she come in?
Of course. All right.
Keg steps in, you see the
dirt-smeared side of the face of this really
intense square-jawed dwarf woman with
what was once five o'clock shadow that is now coming into
some decent stubble now.
Short reddish-brown hair,
currently in the last elements of a hand-rolled cigarette
in full armor, smattered with blood.
Pokes him.
I can't make a side bubble, so
I don't mean to intrude, but what you said.
Stop talking to me, Caleb.
Hey, so I guess we saved you.
You helped?
Uh, I, ooh!
Yeah, she fought bravely.
Quite a bit.
Well, thank you.
Appreciate you.
I don't know what would have happened without you guys.
Really.
You would have been tortured, brainwashed, sold,
and probably killed in a few months, and a horrible-
I don't know, I feel like it'd be really nice
to have around the house.
People might have kept me around.
Well.
That's not, that doesn't make anything better.
Thank you, Keg.
You were amazing.
I'm just happy to make up for past mistakes.
I drag Yasha's body into the thing with us.
Okay.
I'll go gather up the money and the teeth
and the meat hook and the red gem,
all that shit in the bag.
Pull it and stuff, okay, cool.
Then turn it back out.
Dump it off.
Teeth and coin and gem all come clattering
into the middle of your circle.
I'll write you stuff to identify.
Okay, that's a lot.
I will spend the next hour or so before bed
going through every single thing slowly and methodically
with my spell book.
All right, well, the potion that you had found earlier
is magical. And that gem
that you had public art. magical. And that gem that you had borrowed.
Ding!
The red gem.
The red gem is also magical.
Yes! Yes!
The sets of manacles emit a faint magical aura.
Yeah, yeah.
All the things, all the things!
Yes!
What did we get, what did we get?
Leave me alone, I'm reading.
Okay.
Hey. Meat hook?
Meat hook is not magical. Damn.
This is, has great power.
What is it? It's a meat hook.
What's it do?
That seemed like a really good idea.
You look really scary with it on you.
Whoa!
It's probably been through people's skulls, actually.
Yeah, probably.
I'll take it.
You said there was lots of bows,
there was short bows and long bows and stuff?
Yeah. Arrows?
Six short swords, yep.
Bolts? There are bolts, yep. Bolts?
There are bolts, yeah.
If you wanted to restock, there's probably
close to 300 bolts.
Whoa. Jeez.
I'll fill up, and then also I'll take some arrows as well.
All right.
Does it look like anything I can throw?
I'd say, yeah, if you're looking around,
I'll say you find an errant dagger or two.
Yeah.
I'll take an errant dagger or two.
Two daggers. Two daggers.
Not too difficult to locate in this space.
Is this what Yasha had on her?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah?
All right, should we go to sleep?
Huh? I'll make sure Caleb's square.
No, we're good.
This potion will give you a silver tongue
for an hour or so.
Like you'd be a really good talker? Yeah, like this one over here.
Or make this one, you know, inhuman.
This, I'll come back to this.
This is the manacles he holds up.
Yasha had on her when we found her.
This is strange, you put them on a person
and someone like me, maybe Fjord,
could make that person fall asleep for at least a day.
Yeah. Yeah, magic.
That's what all of us were wearing, dude.
Yeah, well, now we have it.
You want?
What do I say to make them fall asleep?
Nothing.
I don't want it.
You're glancing over the chains and you can only begin to fathom probably how many people have been put in that set.
I don't want it at all.
I pocket it.
It's pretty big.
Oh, what is it? It's a set of manacles. It's pretty big. Oh, what is it?
It's a set of manacles.
It's like two wrist manacles.
I thought it was like a finger trap.
How big is it?
It's two cuffs for the wrists that goes behind the back,
and then two cuffs that go on the ankles,
and then chains that connect them.
So it's about, it's like, it's maybe about
15, 20 pounds of metal.
I was thinking oversized handcuffs, but never mind. That could go with a bag of Holden for sure. It's maybe about 15, 20 pounds of metal.
I was thinking oversized handcuffs, but never mind.
That can go with a bag of holding for sure.
Or the bottomless bag.
So you've got that.
You can have this.
This is a gem that can summon a creature of fire.
Wow, what? A creature of fire. Wow, what?
A creature of fire? Yeah.
That is amazing.
That is powerful.
I mean, I feel like fire is kind of your thing.
You sure you want me to have this?
It's not my thing.
It kind of is your thing.
Not me and me alone.
That's true, there are four elements,
and it means you're going to be sharing a lot.
There's going to be a lot of overlap.
I'm good. Yeah.
Just hold on. I'll hold on.
Yeah, I'm good.
So you guys all resting up for the evening?
As the sun is right about now, Caleb, rising.
It's about 530 in the morning.
Is it? Yeah.
You guys have been doing all this through the night.
Are we taking a long rest?
Yeah.
Sleep till the afternoon.
Before I turn in, can I sit with Molly's sword?
Yeah.
And staring at it.
Thank you.
You were very kind to me. I hope to do right by you and make it up to you one day.
Then I'll try to concentrate on the sword.
Okay. As you focus and attune to the weapon, you feel the essence of the blade that you had
previously bound yourself to begin to slip. The faint interior rumbling of your ribcage begins
to feel like a heavy base is quaking on the inside of your torso. It's
uncomfortable at first, and then you realize it's this burrowing, for lack of a better term,
appetite with the previous weapon now gone. That void, that hunger focusing in. You're looking at the blade and you blink
and as your eyes open, that shadowed depths
are around you once more.
You look around for an instant and all you see
is the deep, dark recesses of some endless ocean.
You look down at the blade in your grasp,
the Summer's Dance blade. and you look down at the blade in your grasp,
the Summer's Dance blade.
Then blink once more and you're back in the chamber and it's gone from your hand.
The blade's gone? Yeah.
Dude, you just swallowed that thing whole, like totally.
You guys watched as he focused on it over time,
the blade seemed to just
fade away.
It looks almost like the exterior begins to turn to ash
and crumble, but then nothing hits the ground below it,
and then it's gone.
We all saw this.
All those who were paying attention
and hadn't gotten to sleep yet.
Where does all this stuff inside of you go?
You have so much extra storage space in you.
Yeah, I'm like this bag of holding, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know.
I want to keep Molly with us, though. Yeah. I don't know. I, uh,
I want to keep Molly with us, though.
With me.
I know what you mean.
With that awkward silence, you see Keg staring straight out, the guilt on the face
of the mention of Molly once more.
Kind of,
I'm going to have to, I'm just going to
leave you guys to rest.
I'm going to take some me time.
And backs out of the dome
with one quick glance at Beau as she exits.
Eugh.
Can I?
I pop my head out and I go,
You owe me a night!
Fucking.
She's interested.
What was the...
I pop back in and go,
I'll be back in like an hour and 20 minutes.
Why don't you make it two hours?
If it's two hours, don't come looking for me.
If it's two and a half, then get worried.
You're explaining too much.
All right.
Follicult.
Okay.
Can I look in the haversack,
and is my sketchbook still in there?
Your sketchbook is.
I want to get out my sketchbook, and
I'm going to leave the little bubble for a little bit,
and just wander out, and I see Beau and Keg.
And I wander a little further away.
And I sit down with my sketchbook.
You don't see it, you just see the blankets go up.
It's like when The Sims.
You just see a windmill.
It's a cartoon.
It's just a windmill of legs.
Yeah.
Woo hoo.
And I'm going to try to think of what to draw
for the last few days to tell the Traveler about,
but I don't really know what to draw.
Instead, I just write,
well, why didn't you come?
And then I close the book.
And I go back inside after a little bit.
Okay.
With that, you all finish
a very necessary long night's rest.
Coming to consciousness just as the dome vanishes,
exposing the center of the base floor walkway
where Caleb had set up both the protections of his spells
and the dome in the first place.
Beau has not returned.
But you all wake up.
The front door, which is right across from where you are,
is partially ajar.
It's like, oh, it's probably open.
Door is open.
I'm going to walk outside and get some fresh air and see what I see.
Okay, make a perception check.
17. 17?
You walk outside, it's early afternoon now.
It's chilly.
Snowfall has set in now, and there is a faint snowfall.
The entire grounds of the interior of this courtyard,
where the trees have been cleared
for the construction of the Sour Nest, is just white.
You see it gathering up on the tops of the walls
and the outside.
It's almost beautiful, if not for the connotation
of where you are.
All around you, on the outskirts of the wall,
you can see where the white is dusting
over the purple and grays of the Savalir wood
that surrounds you.
You do notice across the way the open gates
on the southern side of the wall
that enters into the courtyard, also partially ajar.
You see faint footsteps leading from the gate
to where you are.
Are they deep, heavy dwarf footprints?
They are, and they're heading away from you.
I rub my thumb along their lucky rock in my pocket
and smile at the snow and think about
playing in it when I was younger,
and go inside to wake up anyone who's still sleeping.
Okay.
Beau, at one point you did wake up this morning,
half-heartedly, as some people aren't as stealthy
in their exits as others.
Clang clang. Clang cl others. Cling clang.
Clong clong.
Clong clong.
You open one eye and glance over and
the door closes.
I chuckle and just roll over and go back to sleep
and smile as I dig into my pillow.
All right.
You all come to consciousness.
You come to as Caleb wakes you. On the outskirts of the dome by where Nott was sleeping,
there is a tiny little piece of paper.
Oh, it's a note.
Can I read it?
It's a note.
So much mail.
Fuck. It's a note. For me. So much mail. Fuck. It's a note.
It's really badly written.
It's like Frankenstein wrote a letter.
Write this letter. Name is spelled wrong, too.
It's a letter.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Should I read it to you guys?
It says Nott.
Sorry for going before you woke up.
Bad at goodbyes, never really had friends before.
Yuto was my only friend, but now you and I are friends.
This...
Medallion, medallion, medallion, medallion, this thing was from Yuto. It will protect you. Thank you for helping me, Keg.
P.S. If anyone hurts you, I will kill them. Kill spelled wrong.
There is, underneath the paper where you pulled it away, you saw it was a medallion that was hanging from
the bottom of her, I think it was a war hammer.
It has a symbol of a star or a sun
of multiple points sticking out on all sides.
I'll take it and put it around my neck.
All right.
And I am now invincible. neck. All right. And I am now invincible.
And you.
Oh shit.
Oh my stuff.
Medallion of Cigar Smoking.
Yeah.
Ooh, I'll tell you.
Medallion of Stogies.
Medallion of Five O'Clock Shadow.
Yeah, nah.
Have to have one character in every campaign
that just grows facial hair for no reason.
Charm Bracelet of Dwarvenkind
just gets a little bit of trouble.
Did you just identify on those,
like the ruby thingy at the wall?
Yeah, I didn't do nothing.
You wake up and there is a letter.
Wow. Fucking secret set of this bitch.
Oh my god.
I hope it's a terrible drawing or something, sorry.
Guys, I've never gotten morning after.
Oh!
It's almost as good as the carrot glitter, you guys.
The immediate regret.
You're going to have the full experience.
First off, for Beau Svaldrong.
Beau, everything's crossed out. Thanks.
Those letters were actually written by Ashley Birch for you guys. Everything's crossed out. Thanks.
Those letters were actually written by Ashley Burch for you guys.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
No doubt.
Yeah.
Wow.
I love.
You can see the words. You can see it.
She was trying to write, she was trying to write,
your eyes are beautiful when you smile, I love, thanks.
I like that kill me.
Kill me good.
I'll cherish this forever.
I forgot to add, before we do anything else,
Lorenzo's glaive, his weapon, did we get that?
In theory, we did. It was left below, yeah.
Yeah.
I think we grabbed it, right?
Yeah, you have it.
I think. Anything?
I mean, it's a wicked-looking weapon.
Just give it to me.
Yeah, we'll go grab it and give it to Caleb.
Okay.
It is not magical.
That is magical.
It is very, very finely crafted,
but it doesn't do anything except cut me
across the chest quite deeply.
If it had spelled the end of one of my closest friends,
I know that I would want it,
so we should probably keep it for Yasha, when she wakes.
In the Bag of Holding.
True.
Wow.
That bag is way better than my bag.
It's pretty big.
We could always dye that one pink, too.
We don't have to do that.
I could help with that. You can one pink, too. We don't have to do that. I could help with that.
You can? Yeah, probably.
You can dye things colors?
I mean, possibly.
It could work.
I don't know. Yeah, maybe. Probably.
We have a long way to walk, so.
Is that what we're doing?
Where are we going?
Well. Oh!
We have to finish the thing for the gentleman.
Oh my gosh!
It's okay.
But also.
We already got in touch.
We should go back to Ophelia Mardune.
Well, that's part of the thing we have to do.
With Ophelia Mardune, who is part, yes.
That's what I was about to say.
Okay. Glad you guys are keeping track.
How much time do we have left on that thing?
We're doing okay.
We already got in touch with Ophelia,
who was the woman we were supposed to get in contact with.
We were a day or so late, but she was fine with it.
But she wanted us to go kill Lorenzo
and the rest of the Iron Shepherds,
so it was a very convenient killing,
you know, one group of slavers with one stone.
Oh, so you didn't really come to save us, you came to get the money.
No, no, no, we came to save you.
I know not.
I know you didn't. I was just joking with you.
No, that is true, the money meant fuck all.
This is literally the first they've mentioned
in my presence, so.
That means you get all of the money.
Yeah, I'm fine.
Everybody's so generous here.
You can give me all of the platinum, then.
I don't mind. No, that is incorrect.
I would like my share of the platinum, to be sure.
Any coin that we found, please.
Who took it? Divide it up now.
Ah. Caduceus, can I ask
what you're involved in this,
or how you became involved in this?
Six, seven.
I'll go so far as to say I feel
that the fates have intertwined us for a while.
I need to head east at some point.
What is east?
I don't know, but I'm going to find out.
Everything's telling me that I should stick around
and see where you're headed.
I think that's where I'm supposed to be.
Didn't we promise to do something for you?
Like give you our blood or something?
What?
But we never really discussed the finer points.
I assumed that you were a vampire
and you were going to suck our blood.
He gave him people's blood again.
He makes dead people tea.
It's very nice tea.
Thank you.
What?
He makes tea out of things that grow on corpses.
Cemetery tea. Interesting point, too. Some of the corpses you passed by He makes what? He makes tea out of things that grow on corpses.
Cemetery tea.
Interesting point, too, some of the corpses
you passed by in the middle of the arena
were starting to be overgrown with fungus.
It's quite disgusting.
You make dead people into tea.
I mean, they're going to do it eventually anyway.
I just usher the process along a little bit.
Is it good tea?
It's very good tea.
It's pretty good. It is delicious.
I mean, to be fair, I think we've had two rounds of it
at this point, I think.
Honestly, you could make a lot of money
setting up a shop somewhere and selling tea.
Huh.
And don't tell them it's dead people tea
and then wait until they drink it and then go,
guess what, that's what it's made from! I mean, all tea it's dead people tea and then wait until they drink it and then go, guess what, that's what it's made from!
I mean, all tea is really dead people tea
when you think about it, so.
So are we going to go to Ophelia first
and then to Mollymauk, or?
Ophelia first, then Mollymauk.
It's all along the way.
Sounds good.
Should we wait for Yasha to wake up,
or do we bring her with?
Shoot.
She's got a day in the spell.
There's some carts around back, too, to be exact.
And some horses that'll make up for Waterloo,
or Watercloset, and Loo, and Toilet.
Oh yeah, by the way, we also lost three horses.
They're all dead, too.
I figured. Horses are gone.
I figured.
And the cart.
WC?
Yeah, Crapper, John.
He's in the fields.
Yeah.
This is the worst.
Kind of already was, but.
But we have a new lease on life.
We have new horses, we have a new day.
Let's go name some horses and steal them.
Sounds good. Let's do it.
We steal horses, we make a nice little bed for Yasha.
I carry her out to the cart.
I put her in the bag of holding and...
Are there invisible cages on the carts?
If you go ahead and check, the carts still appear
to be saddled up with the cages. When you
approach, it looks to be just small bundles of produce and various packs, but upon reaching the
edge and peering in, your face immediately goes past the illusion and you see what looks to be the
tarp, heavy tarp that's laid over the cages. Pulling it open, the cages are still there in the
cart, yes.
So the cages are invisible,
or whatever's in the tarp is invisible?
Best you can tell, whatever's under the tarp is invisible.
Everything in the cart.
Yeah.
Let's take the, can we break down the cages easily,
or bring the cages out of the cart?
They're pretty large cages.
They're like six foot by four foot by four foot.
They're stacked up two at a time.
Can we get rid of them, though?
You can, yeah.
You pull off the cages and pull off the tarp
and they all come out of the illusion, and they're normal.
So we put the tarp back up and get under the tarp
and see if we can see each other?
Yeah. You get under the tarp
and you're under a tarp?
If I stay outside and look in?
It's not the tarp that's the illusion,
or the source of the illusion.
You see all your friends getting under a tarp.
I put my hand through the cage bar.
Do I see anything? Nope.
Fuck.
So wait, what's invisible now?
You guys pulled the cages and the tarp off the cart.
And currently, nothing seems to be changed.
The cart still looks like it's filled with
some small bundles.
I can't tell if it's on the cart.
Yeah, on the cart.
The cart is where the illusion is.
Okay, okay.
And as Jester steps into the cart, she vanishes.
Hey!
Hey, we have an invisible cart!
How long will this last?
Can't see me right now.
Just give me 10 goddamn minutes.
Whom, identify the card.
Okay.
How does it work?
What it is is it's a localized illusion
to give a fake interior appearance of a cart,
but that enchantment is made permanent
through some other magical means.
Cool.
Sick.
Stealth cart.
Stealth cart.
Between the stealth cart and the dome,
we're going to be rolling dirty.
Also, how long was the ride from Shady Creek
to this compound, like three or four hours?
From Shady Creek, it's only about an hour or so.
From Ophelia, it's about an hour, hour and a half
by foot.
By cart, you're not too sure.
These woods can be thick and hard to get through
and a lot of the paths are.
Oh, so slower by cart because of the cart.
Slower by cart because you're having to
ferry it through some more difficult terrain.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But worth it.
Grab some stuff from the kitchen,
some blankets from upstairs, some pillows so. Let's go. But worth it. Grab some stuff from the kitchen,
some blankets from upstairs, some pillows,
so you can actually be comfortable in the cart.
Yes. Yeah.
All right.
Nice.
So you grab two of the horses
that are still set up on the exterior.
You get them forwarded to the cart.
You guys throw your cushions and blankets into the back.
Who's going to be guiding the cart?
There is still the front where the actual seat is,
where you can hold the reins and steer it where it goes.
I'll sit out front.
I'll join him, yeah.
All right, so Caduceus and Caleb out front,
the rest in the back?
Sure.
I'll take one of the other horses.
Can I get one of the other horses?
We're going to take four horses.
Oh, so nobody's in the cart.
Well, we need horses to pull the cart, right?
That is important, yeah.
Right?
So two horses in the cart,
two horses that are just free, ridden by?
Caduceus and Caleb.
No, Caduceus and Caleb are on the front of the cart.
They're in the cart seat.
And Alvar and a horse.
All right, so that puts Jester
and Nott in the cart with Yasha.
With that, you pull the cart free
from what seems to have sunken into some of the cold mud
that seems to have closed around the wheels
as the frozen temperatures of the snowfall
caused it to harden.
Eventually, it pulls itself out of that section
on the side of the sour nest and begins tracking,
cutting its way, leaving these little tracks in the snow
along with the hoof prints.
With that, Beauregard, you jump off
and quickly push the gates outside
from the courtyard out into the Savalirwood.
With that, you begin to trek back towards Shadycreek Run
in the mid-afternoon of this now somewhat cold,
snow-fallen portion of the day.
That's where we're going to take a break.
Nice.
Picking up with you guys approaching
the fantastic Estate Sybaritic.
Before we get to there,
we're going to go ahead and do our giveaway.
So today we have this awesome white oak tabletop dice tray
from our friends at Wyrmwood.
It's nice, smells good, it's got a leather interior.
It's kind of awesome.
So we need you guys to jump over to the Twitch chat
and Critical Role.
It's twitch.tv slash Critical Role.
During the break, and enter only once
the keyword tonight, which is reunion.
Reunion.
Yes, so enter it once.
More than once and you'll be disqualified.
And once again, because of weird giveaway laws,
only residents in the United States and Canada,
excluding Quebec, are able to enter.
But go ahead and jump over to the Critical Role Twitch chat,
enter your code, and we'll see you back here in a little bit.
All right, guys.
Okay, good, very good.
We interrupt this Critical Role Podcast Network broadcast
to bring you news of dangerous treasures
that lie sealed within the Critical Role shops.
Only the heartiest of adventurers should dare seek them out.
In all seriousness, though, I'm Matthew Mercer,
and we've made some very cool things that we really like and hope you will, too.
If you'd like to support the show, please consider visiting any of our Critical Role online shops
through the Shop tab at critrole.com and see if anything catches your eye.
Okay, back to the show.
Wow. That was good.
Snaps for that one.
Yeah, all right.
That was almost forensic.
That was great.
That was really good.
I've never felt anything like that before.
Welcome back, everyone.
This is amazing.
Laura will be back when she finishes feeding the baby.
I feel like Lorenzo had a play with me just now.
However, we do have our winner of the giveaway at the break.
It is Landon Foster One.
Landon Foster One, congratulations.
Nice try, Foster.
I know.
He's trying to win his own giveaways, damn it.
Yeah, we'll have that sent to you ASAP.
We'll contact you and get your information,
and congrats for your new Wyrmwood dice box coming your way.
All righty.
So, y'all.
Happy birthday, Ashley. Happy birthday, Ashley.
Yes, Ashley!
For those who didn't know, it is Ashley Johnson's birthday.
Yeah!
It's nice. You could've said it too.
I'm not, it's not my space.
But y'all, the reason we're not overflowing
with happy birthday joy and radiance
is because we all just have a cold, dead fury
that she's not at the table.
Yeah, we wanted her here badly,
but her shoot schedule did not turn out.
But we wish her a birthday anyway,
wish her a birthday on social media and such.
She's amazing and we love her and we want her back at ASAP.
Come back. Yes.
Ashley, come back.
So, you all begin to make your way
through this section of the Sabalir Wood,
following the best pathways you can for the next hour,
hour and a half before you begin to break
into the North Clover area of the city.
Trying to maneuver around carefully so as to not be conspicuous, thankfully the enchantment
on the cart enables you to do so without much issue. However, it is also a very populated
area with friends and enemies of the house
you are traveling to.
Who wants to be responsible for trying
to remain inconspicuous?
Remaining conspicuous, you mean in the open,
not hidden by the illusion of the cart?
Yes, well, you still have four of you
that are out in the open.
Two on horseback and two actually
bringing the cart forward.
Weird question. We don't have, the carts aren't sprayed on the side.
It's like Iron Shepherds or.
There's no brand you have to worry about.
Stallions, ladies!
Why?
There's like a death star painted on the side.
Just family.
Okay, cool.
Just a Jesus fish.
That's not what it's doing. Okay, cool. Just a Jesus fish.
I'll flip my coat inside out to my brown side for the hood.
Perfect.
I look like a peasant, I'll stay put.
Yeah.
I'll switch to something inconspicuous.
A little switch.
I'll hop to a kind of,
I'll join the somewhat inconspicuous-looking humans attempting to
create a uniform similar to Beau's.
Okay.
Oh shit, you can do that, too, huh?
Yeah.
You going to do that?
I don't want to be the only one. I'll make myself a disheveled brunette-looking guy with a
sick-ass goatee.
All right.
Me and Jester will be in the invisibility cone.
Yeah! Thick-ass goatee. All right. Me and Jester will be in the invisibility cone.
Yeah!
Take everything I just said back.
Just do each other's hair.
Get it!
And make faces at everyone else in the group.
Birds, birds cool arm.
All right.
Fair enough.
This part in the afternoon, it's bustling enough
towards the central main Clover Street.
With your preparation, it doesn't seem
that you catch too much attention, thankfully.
You do eventually make your way to the outskirts
of the two-story estate, Sybaritic,
where you see the familiar dark red wood and the fence with the
six-inch spear tips still aggressively daring anybody
to vault over or make entry.
The guards that you had previously encountered
when you first arrived immediately turn
and you see the two on the inside of the courtyard
and the one that's outside of the gate
as another one appears to be stepping into his position.
He had left for a moment.
All look over as you begin to approach,
get their crossbows ready.
One of the guards at the very front,
the one that's on the outside of the wall already,
begins to approach with his hand on the side
of a sheathed blade.
Who goes there?
What are we doing?
Good evening, good day, good afternoon.
We are expected by Miss Mardoon.
Please wait here.
You're right back, need to go check.
Closes the gate behind him, locks it,
leaves you there, the two other guards just keep their crossbows at the ready,
but not aimed, just careful and ready to go.
We've met with her already?
Yeah.
How did it go?
Very well.
She's super hot.
True.
A few moments pass, and the front doors
to the estate open once more.
The guard returns, approaches, unlocks the gate,
opens it.
Very well, you may enter.
He opens the other side of the gate.
Looks like it's not quite wide enough
to get the full cart into it, and says,
you'll have to leave your cart here.
No, it's not doable.
Do you have a wider gate around back
or something like that?
We do not.
We'll watch it, don't worry.
We'll keep an eye on it.
It's not going anywhere.
You personally?
Yes, it's my job.
I'm stationed literally right here.
I hope you have some extra hands.
We're going to be picking up very heavy equipment
and lugging it all the way from the house back to the gate
if we can't bring the cart in.
I don't mind, it's just.
All right, we can muster a few additional hands.
All right, I'll go ahead and put in the request.
I know this cart like the back of my hand,
and if one inch of it is touched, I will know.
Do not worry.
I would just tell this cart that we'll be right back.
Stay put.
Goodbye, cart. Cart.
He's very personal with the cart.
All right.
He gives an awkward stare and,
very well,
the mistress is waiting for you.
Steps aside.
The guards flank behind as you, the rest of you,
I guess, not Yasha and Jester are staying within the cart,
the rest of you make your way through the courtyard
into the main chamber, to the familiar interior.
You, noticing this for the first time,
this beautiful estate, which looks like it was built from imported wood, a dark, almost red-brown, maroon wood color. You can
see elements of gold leafing and some of the designs have been carved at the edges where different
large wall areas come together and there's a slight, almost a pillar that separates it from panel
to panel. But the closer you get to it,
you also see they've been weathered over time.
Some of the wood is starting to warp a bit,
and upon closer inspection, upkeep is better seen
at a distance.
When you enter the interior of the warm foyer,
you can see the staircase that ascends upward.
You can see the portraits of figures
that seem to be members of this same family.
It is both beautiful and imposing to enter this chamber.
The energy here seems very tense.
While you've only seen a handful of guards,
you feel like there are more eyes on you
than meets the eye.
A moment later, stepping down the staircase,
you hear the footsteps
of Ophelia Mardune, you see a voluptuous tiefling woman
with dark ash-gray skin, vibrant yellow eyes,
pupil-less, sharpened fangs that curl down
from the top of her teeth, slicked back long black hair
that seems to almost meet the back of her ankles.
Her horns curve backward and
go straight up towards the rear of her head. Her coat, this time not in the same colonial garb
you had before, but appears to be wearing a long, deep maroon robe that drags down the steps
behind her. It's tied across in the front. She's in more of a leisurely appearance,
but as she descends, one hand on the front of the robe,
the other one slightly gliding down the banister,
looking over at this strange bunch that have entered,
recognizing you two, not recognizing you two,
and says so as she begins to descend
down the final bit of the staircase.
I see some familiar faces, but strangely, some I do not.
Who are your friends before I come any closer?
Well, as I said on our previous meeting,
we have vetted appropriate people for the task at hand,
which has been completed.
That is all you need to know.
Completed, you say?
Are you to tell me that these Iron Shepherds
have been dealt with?
Everyone other than the common folk
that they had taken away have been put to the blade
or burnt to cinders.
What proof have you brought me?
Open up the bag of holding and pull out Lorenzo's glaive.
Fetch it for me.
One of the guards comes over and puts his hands
on the glaive and waits for you to release it.
He walks over and hands it to Ophelia.
She grabs it and it's got some heft to it.
She takes it and looks it to Ophelia. She grabs it and it's got some heft to it. She takes it and looks it over.
Very well.
You are absolutely certain
there are no signs left behind to trace it?
No one saw you?
No one followed you?
You know the one who wields that weapon?
I know I was the one that did, yes.
This one broke his jaw almost off of his face,
and then his skull was burned to ash.
We murdered everyone in that house
who was not a farmer.
It is empty.
Make a persuasion check with advantage.
She wants to believe you, but is...
Natural 20.
Her yellow eyes darken into slits as she inspects you.
For that brief pregnant pause in conversation,
you feel this probing stare.
You cannot see where the pupils glance,
but you feel like you're being looked up and down.
Then every aspect of your facial expressions
and mannerisms being instantaneously processed.
She leans back comfortably in her stance,
now previously with an intense force
of confrontational energy, she now seems to relax,
takes the glaive and hands it off to one of her guards
and says,
Please, prepare that for mounting within my collection.
If you don't mind, it would actually
be greatly appreciated to us if we kept that
for the fallen member of our party.
Right.
Very well.
Leave it with them, please.
And the guard that was just taking it off
turns around and brings it back and hands it to you.
It's very kind of you.
Consider it a favor.
Remember it, please. Very well.
I am indeed impressed.
Impressed and intrigued.
Simas! She shouts off down one of the hallways
and you see a servant rush around the corner.
Yes?
Prepare two carriages and a package for entry to the Empire.
We shall be gone for a couple of weeks
to secure business with a contact of mine.
Notify Anselm of my absence, please.
We leave at dusk.
Of course, milady, he rushes off.
So, are you ready to leave at dusk? You want us to go with you?
I was under the impression, based on my contacts with the gentleman, that we were to
return together.
We were supposed to escort her back.
We are amenable.
That is just fine.
There are more of us waiting a ways away.
How many?
I've only called two carriages,
one for myself and one for you.
Do you require more?
We have three more dry.
So a third carriage.
It becomes a bit conspicuous in travel.
You want to keep her.
We have come with our own means of transportation.
We can travel with you.
Very well.
Two carriages, same as said before.
I will prepare, collect my things.
I suggest you do the same.
We leave soon.
I am excited to travel alongside you.
Yeah.
She smiles and turns and begins to ascend the steps.
What the hot fuck is going on with her?
Uh.
I think hot fuck is actually very appropriate
on a few levels.
Yeah, okay.
Like, I don't know, like...
You could keep some of those puns in your head, you know?
Just digging it.
Why does she want to leave?
What is she, hmm, this can't be good, right?
Well, we were supposed to escort her back.
I'm sure she has more business with the gentleman, no?
Yeah.
Well, the job is the job.
We will be watching our own backs regardless,
but the job is the job.
We stopped a long way back, though, weren't we?
It's, uh.
That's not too much to ask.
No, it's not. It's along uh... That's not too much to ask. No, it's not.
It's along the way.
This is the job, this is what brought you up here.
Interesting.
It's not that this was really the job,
it was more like there were two jobs,
and you kind of had to accept both,
as opposed to one or the other.
The one was kind of doable, and we did it,
and then the other one.
Bit up more than we could chew
by saying yes to both.
Boy, I wonder how long before Ophelia's ready to go.
Well, just at the morning.
Dusk.
Which right now, based on where the afternoon is,
gives you about roughly two and a half,
three hours before dusk hits.
Maybe we'll wait for just outside the gates
with our cart.
Is there anything you guys wish to do or prepare
while you're waiting for her to join you
outside of the estate?
Us? Anybody? do you prepare while you're waiting for her to join you outside of the estate?
Us? Anybody?
I mean, this is the Styx, right?
Comparably.
This is the northern side of the Clover Plaza,
a little bit to the northwest, and this is where,
imagine this is like thearse, gated community
of the Lawless City.
The northern side of the street
is where most of the houses live,
the various feuding factions.
Right.
It's where the money goes.
Right around the road, especially south of it
and east of it, is where you start getting into the slums
and the folks that exist here
because they have no other choice.
Right.
The guards or the people that she has working for her,
are they wearing any sort of face protection,
head protection, or is it open?
The guards that are inside the house
are not wearing face protection.
They're wearing what looks to be hide armor comprised of multiple thick strips
of cured hide, dyed to a dark maroon color.
There is definitely a color scheme going on here
with the interior and Ophelia's preferred means of wear.
The ones outside do have a very, very simple leather cap
with heavy straps, almost like a Roman-type style
that descend past the sides of the chin.
But that's about it.
Can I ask, in your previous engagements with her,
how far are we trusting her?
No, superficially, yeah. Not. Not at all. How far are we trusting her? Ah.
No, superficially, yeah. Not.
Not at all.
Okay. Yeah.
I think that everyone in this town is dangerous,
so eyes wide open.
Yeah, you guys probably didn't see a lot,
considering you were in cages when you came through,
but this is like a shitty shithole.
Like a really shitty shithole.
I do live here, you know.
You live in a very nice garden.
We are not talking about the region.
Just this city.
The city is garbage.
Do you spend time here? No, you have been alone?
You haven't left in 18 years.
Well, I've left, I just haven't left in a while.
I've got to come to town sometimes,
get things, get supplies.
Well, it still stands, it's pretty shitty.
Yeah, and good thing comes from shit, right?
Like flowers.
I'm going to have to make a little confession.
I really haven't been many other places,
so I suppose I don't really actually have
a great basis of comparison.
You didn't travel much?
No, oh yeah, yeah, no, I don't.
I haven't traveled much at all.
He's been living in a cemetery.
Living?
Exclusively for a number of years.
It is very beautiful.
Thank you.
Still a cemetery, though.
We asked this, I'm sure.
You're, um...
He's alive, right?
Yes.
We asked the same question.
Very, very much so.
Yep.
Yeah, I know the smell just
kind of comes with it.
It's a little musk.
Musty as shit?
Yeah. Okay.
It's strong at first, but it, yes,
but you get used to it, and it mellows
the longer you're around it.
You know, when you two mix together,
it has this meatloaf smell.
It has not been that long since I took a shower.
I don't know why this running gag is continuing.
As this is happening, you guys are talking
and spending time within the cart.
I'm doing Jynna's hair,
and then using my Mending Cantrip to fix up Yasha's clothes.
Which is helping join this thing in the process.
But she's still lying unconscious.
She's still unconscious.
The enchantment does seem to last
for a protracted period of time.
You do begin to hear what sounds like
a few pairs of horse hooves
coming up louder and louder behind
where the cart is currently set.
Can they see the cart?
I think they can see the cart.
They just can't see us in it.
Can they hear us?
You guys can see outside of it,
because there is no tarp covering the space.
Do they look like they can hear us?
You turn around and look.
You don't know if they can hear you or not,
but you see two rather extravagant looking carriages
making their way towards you.
One is, you can see this dark wood
with gold detailing on the outsides.
Each has a curtained window on the right and the left.
Sets of large spoke wheels on each side,
and each one has two horses affixed to the front,
and there is a driver at the front of each one.
Nott, moon them, moon them right now.
Oh yes, I will moon them.
There is no reaction, but you are indeed mooning them.
I mean, we laughed very quietly just in case.
Make a stealth check. Goblin Danny out.
Oh no, I rolled really bad on my stealth check.
Eight.
You see this one older fellow with this,
his nose has just grown over time to the point
where it's overpowering the front of his face,
and he's got this rough white hair across his chin
where he just hasn't shaven in a bit,
but he's dressed raggedly, though nice.
If you imagine one of the ghosts in Haunted Mansion
before it died, that's how he's
dressed. As he hears you laugh and looks,
Hello?
Oh.
Fuck, he actually wakes up.
He steps down from it.
As you guys are stepping outside, you hear this as well, and you see the two carriages
brought up on the sides of the estate.
Shortly thereafter, Ophelia comes behind you
through the door in the long colonial coat
that you had first met her in.
Behind her, you see two of the other guards
carrying what looks to be a number of packed handbags
behind her.
She points,
All right, please place them.
The front one is mine.
With Nen, they start loading the bags up into the carriage,
up on top of it.
The guy's lifting the other up,
and they're passing the bags along as he's putting it up
and they're strapping it down with rope across the top of it. The guy's lifting the other up and they're passing the bags along as he's putting it up and they're strapping it down
with rope across the top of it for travel
until eventually she's escorted outside of the grounds.
She looks to you all outside of the cart,
those that she can see, and she goes,
Should anyone ask along our journeys,
I am Lady Quinn Denzala of Nogvarrat,
going to see my ailing mother in Deerstock.
You are my personal guard.
If you mess that up,
well, you may have more blood on your hands, so it would behoove you to pay attention.
Hmm?
Of course.
Of course, queen.
He's all alone, he's your mother.
Very good.
Personal care.
Now, let us be off in comfort.
She steps up into the carriage,
one of the guards helps her.
She closes the door behind her.
The other carriage doors open, left open
for who would like to travel along with them.
Are you guys going to go with her?
We need our car to be driven.
I can drive that.
In the two carriages?
Just one carriage that's hers. And another carriage.
She does not want to travel with anybody in her carriage.
At least not at the moment.
I will enter the second carriage if they are looking for people.
All right, so that's Caleb.
How many people?
Currently just one.
Sitting with her?
Oh, with her?
Does she want to sit with her?
She has her own carriage.
I think perhaps we are the intermediaries here. Oh, with her? Does she want to serve? She doesn't want to. She has her own carriage. She wants to be alone.
I think perhaps we are the intermediaries here.
Why don't you ride with me?
Okay.
There's still a horse that has to be ridden.
We can tie it to one of the other ones.
Okay.
I'll explain what's happening to the horses
so that they move appropriately.
I can speak to the horses.
As you guys are hitching the horses
to the other horses, Ophelia leans out of a window
and goes, this is intended to be
nothing but a visitation travel.
There is no reason to have additional beasts.
Do you care for your beasts?
Are they sentimental to you?
No. No, not at all.
Cut them loose. Cut them loose, and whatever you lose, I will happily repurchase to you? No. No, not at all. Cut them loose.
Cut them loose, and whatever you lose,
I will happily repurchase for you
when we arrive in the Dash.
It's not that we don't care for these animals,
it's just that we care for Watercloset, and Lou,
and John, way more.
Missing a lot of context on that sentence.
I just wanted you to know.
I appreciate your clarification.
Yeah. But yeah, fuck these horses.
Indeed.
Closes the curtains on her window.
Explain this to the horses,
I'll let them know what's going on.
Telling the two that they're ready to go.
Who's going to pull our carriage?
Well, you still have two horses on your cart.
But there are the two being ridden separately.
Those horses begin to wander off, finding their way through the Savalir Woods southward. There are horses on your cart. But there are the two being ridden separately.
Those horses begin to wander off,
finding their way through the Sabaulir Woods southward.
They're just going to keep eating, though.
They're just horses.
You seemed like they had a plan.
I named all the horses while you guys were in there.
I named them Waterloo, Fernando, Mamma Mia, Dancing Queen.
Well, say goodbye to the two of your choosing, Nott.
Which one? Definitely Mamma Mia.
You got to keep Mamma Mia.
No. No.
No.
I guess.
Waterloo.
Fernando and Waterloo.
Mamma Mia and Dancing Queen are staying.
There you go, okay, okay.
As they wander off, you hear.
The carriages begin to pick up speed.
Caduceus, you're driving the cart?
Yeah.
All right. If you wouldn't mind.
With that, it picks up as well,
and now your train of two carriages and your cart
begin to make their way southward to Shadycreek Run.
You guys begin to curve through the Clover Plaza,
where you can see the bustle of the city
is definitely making its way
towards the latter half of the day.
Sunset is cresting probably in the next hour or so.
Keeping watch, the ones that are looking out about
would be Caduceus, you'd have a good view.
You guys have a view throughout the illusion,
so you three.
Can I interject for a second?
Sure.
Since a lot of time is passing,
and it's just Beauregard and I in this carriage,
can I, as a ritual spell cast, detect magic
and check out the cart around us?
Sure.
You finish focusing on the spell,
and as you release your arcane incantation
to sense the area around you,
there's nothing about the card that appears magical.
So, since you're focusing on that, and you were...
I guess I'm up front with Caduceus.
All right, I would like you three and you
to go ahead and roll perception checks, please.
14. 14.
Jesus.
Whoa!
12.
24.
Oh, 21.
Ooh!
But still good.
Still is very good.
The two of you, noticing as the cloud-covered skies,
the snowfall has lightened.
It's not as heavy as it was in the morning,
but there is still a faint, soft falling
of snowflakes in the air.
The now gray and white city with the edges of the roads
mucked with dirty snow and mud being tracked through
from all the foot and cart traffic.
You do notice off to the sides near one of the inns or taverns,
it seems that you have not had the opportunity
to visit yet within the Clover Plaza,
you see a small gathering or a meeting
that catches your attention.
You glance over and you would not have context,
actually, neither of you have context for this.
So the two of you see what looks to be a small meeting
between two really burly-looking figures in armor.
A similar style, or at least a haphazard patchwork style
of armor and adornments.
Some of the others that seem to patrol the streets,
just keeping an eye out.
They look like thugs a bit.
You see two of them meeting with two figures
that are in heavy cloak and hood.
Because of your perceptive abilities,
you notice that they are of
almost a similar skin color as Ophelia.
Their features are very fine.
Their lithe bodies vanish with the heavy cloaks that guide them. You do see bits of armor protruding off the side of one that appear to be dark and almost insect-like.
Does it look like the guy that we met down in the sewers?
It does. As you're watching out, you see them discussing.
There is a brief transaction in the shadows
of this alleyway and a handshake
from the two cloaked figures and these two others,
as you just ride by and continue southward.
Shady deals happening over there.
I've never seen one before.
Mm.
Are they buying? I don't know, what are they buying?
I don't know, they're probably selling drugs to each other.
Oh, that's cool.
That's super cool.
Yeah.
But wait, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Those were those guys.
Which guys?
The guys, the guys that were,
not! What, what? I just saw one of those guys that were, not!
What, what?
I just saw one of those guys that had the thing.
Is that Dodecaedron?
Yeah!
You saw a drow creature from Jorahas?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You saw a krik?
I'm just, I don't know. Don't say that.
Don't say that. Don't say that.
That's really rude.
I saw them.
They were over there, they had cloaks on
and I saw them.
What if they can sense us and they know
that we have the thing that they're looking for?
I think they're just regular.
Keep looking at them to see if they notice us.
As you pay very close attention,
as you pass through the main thoroughfare
of the Clover Plaza, they don't seem to notice
or pay any mind to your presence
and eventually they are out of sight,
and you have no means of keeping tabs on them.
As you now head towards the southern side
of the Clover Street, heading towards the outskirts
of Shadycreek Run, and eventually out of the city entirely.
Fuck. Shit.
So as the buildings begin to give way to hovels
and huts and tents and shacks,
you begin to see really where the bulk of those
who have escaped or not allowed entry
into the Empire now reside.
You see mud-covered folks that are bundled up
for body heat in this cold weather, many that are out stretching hands
in your direction for handouts, and others that get too close
to the outside of Ophelia's carriage, and you watch
as the cart driver grabs what looks to be a switch
off the side and whacks one of them in the hand,
then he recoils from it and darts off,
and a few others hiss and run off with him.
Eventually, that gives way to the path
that leads to the Quanah Breach.
Familiar for those of you who had traveled here previously,
you can see the Dunrock Mountains ahead,
the large, spiky crags that mark this mountain range
that is the divide between the northern gray wastes
and the descent into the Dwendalian Empire.
The graying wild lands that you reside begin to give way
as you see the gate of the Utalot family's exit
from the region.
As you approach, similar figures that originally greeted you
at dusk when you had arrived here
seem to be stationed there.
As they approach the carriage,
before they can even raise a word,
Ophelia leans one arm out the side
and throws a small coin purse in their direction.
One of them catches it, opens it real fast,
and just gives a motion, and the two gates
open before the carriage.
There you get to see the familiar sharpened wooden pikes
that are adorned with skulls and pieces of
whatever other warnings they could amass
for anybody who attempted to pass without paying the toll.
Passing beyond those gates, you curve around the corner,
and now you're between the sheared cliffs
of the Quantum Breach, where it looks like
this mountain range was almost pulled apart,
leaving behind this strange, snaking maze
of open pathways, smooth on the inside
of these otherwise rough mountains,
almost like wind has, over time, eroded and driven smooth
the interior through here.
You can hear the faint winds blowing through,
occasionally bursting with loud whistles
and this droning moan sound that seems to be created
by the wind pushing against these
weirdly carved pathways through.
These drivers have done this many times
and very deftly maneuver through.
When it does fork off in different directions,
they knowingly take the path that they,
you assume, will bring you to the end of this journey.
After a bit of time passing through this strange ravine,
it opens up once more to a very large gate.
You can see Crownsguard there,
almost expecting you as you pass through.
The Crownsguard begin to approach.
The carriages stop, and Ophelia steps out.
As she does so, another one of the carriage drivers, the one that's driving your
carriage, which would be?
Beau and Caelan.
Beau and Caelan. Steps off to join her with what looks to be a small scroll case. She steps up to
the captain of this gate, this watch,
and from a distance, they begin to have a conversation.
You can't hear it, it's hushed voices,
or at least not loud enough to reach your distance.
I wish you could still read lips.
I know, I can read lips, I can read lips.
It's the old campaign.
I can sneak up and.
Caleb, what about your cat?
Are you whispering to me through the doorway?
No, I'm leaning over the carriage.
I'm like, Caleb, what about your gato?
Yeah.
Hey, look what I can do.
What?
I am going to use,
what is it that's like the cloak of shadows?
I'm going to use cloak of shadows on myself.
All right, it gives you about 12 seconds of invisibility.
Oh, that's it?
Oh, wow.
Motherfucker, I thought it gave me a lot more than that.
It's until the end of your next turn.
Wow.
Shit, it seems bad.
Hold on, look what I can do!
Where'd you go? Where'd you go?
Oh my god! Oh, hi!
Best use of channel divinity in D&D history
right there, ladies and gentlemen.
What's happening outside the car?
What's going on, what's going on?
Oh, it was really cool, though.
Did you see that I went and did the walk?
You were gone.
Yeah. It was crazy.
I've been thinking about that for a while.
Well, next time you use it, maybe it will have a purpose.
Yeah, probably. Yeah, I was going to say, I do not miss Samaribo
giving me shit about my spelling.
Yeah, that's gross.
All right, as this is happening,
and you're watching carefully across the way,
the scroll case is open and a series of papers
are handed to the Crownsguard there.
Then you watch as a handful of coin are passed over
by Ophelia to the captain, reads over the papers,
hands them back, gives a hand motion
to what looks to be about a group of about six
or seven Crownsguard at the gate.
They begin to open it.
Ooh.
And entry is given to the Empire.
In just a few days, you've been gone.
The carriage picks up speed once more,
and you re-enter the Durnalian Empire,
heading towards the northern side of the Marrow Valley.
Welcome back.
Holy shit.
So.
Excuse me.
Once we're past that border, and time has passed, and the two Empire kids are just
sitting alone in this carriage. Caleb, just staring out the window, not even looking at Beauregard.
Beauregard?
Mm-hmm?
Who are you? Beauregard. Mm-hmm.
Who are you?
You know an awful lot about me now.
You are not some
youth throwing themselves on drink.
As you tried to claim when we first met, you are clearly tied
to something greater than that.
You are not some fuck-up.
Who are you?
It's funny, I thought you were going to say something like,
man, the Empire sure fucked up,
and I was going to be like, right?
I was just thinking the same thing.
It's just like what Jester said.
We can't read each other's thoughts.
It's a separate issue.
You and I, we're very different,
but not completely.
And I would feel a little safer
if I knew a little more about you.
Well, you know I'm a monk of the Cobalt Soul.
I kind of actually dumped a lot of this on Nott,
which I kind of asked. It was Nott, which I asked.
I was a little tipsy.
Okay.
I was feeling vulnerable in the moment.
It doesn't happen often.
She caught me in a perfect window.
Her or you?
Nott did.
Wait, both?
Never mind.
Right.
I never intended to be a monk of the Cobalt Soul.
My father
sent me away to the monastery
when I wasn't what he wanted me to be.
And I was kind of a dick.
So.
Why are you out here in the wastelands?
I ran away from the Cobalt Soul,
and they gave me a raise in rank because of it, so that was cool. Really just further instilled
my rebellion, to be totally honest.
And now you what? You want to follow the orders of the Cobalt Soul? You want to do whatever they
ask you to do, or is there something you want to do, or? Why are you running around with criminals than me?
My whole life was dictated by establishment
that I didn't have a lot of control over,
and the Cobalt Soul
sort of has this underlying faction and the Cobalt Soul
sort of has this underlying faction that helps uproot corrupt establishment.
And I know, I scoffed at the idea of
being a part of a system that is supposed to take down
systems, doesn't really make sense, but, you know, maybe you, if anyone, can understand the idea of fighting fire with fire.
That's why I'm doing this.
Is this all orders you are following?
No.
They just want information.
I'm out in the world, at the ground level.
People like us don't have our fingers on the pulse
of what's being said around the city sometimes. It's not necessarily something that a monk
in full accolades can always accomplish.
Okay.
So a little bit of official business,
a little bit of your own personal axe to grind.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't go. Does that make you uncomfortable? Yeah. Dunka.
Does that make you uncomfortable?
No.
Cool?
Cool.
Ew, don't do that.
Don't.
All right, continuing southward through the night,
eventually the carriages pull off to the side
for the evening.
Me and Nott are having a dance party in ours.
That no one can see.
I'm alive, I'm happy.
Ophelia doesn't leave her carriage, but eventually the carts and the two carriages
are circled around a campfire.
The drivers begin to cook their own meal
and you are allowed to use the space to make what you wish.
I'm sorry, I don't think it is real.
So wait, how far, have we made it outside the city?
We're just a little further.
You guys are far beyond the city,
you're beyond the Quantum Breach,
you haven't even reached the main road yet.
You are just south of the breach,
maybe by four hours or so.
So you're still north-northside, if you want to.
We're still north of the thicket, Crisfale Thicket.
Yes, far north.
Okay, okay, okay.
A few days north of that. A fewicket. Yes, far north. Okay. A few days north of that.
A few days.
Like three days north.
Yeah.
I will cook up what's there, we'll have a meal.
All right.
For the purpose of expediency,
you have another day and a half, two days worth of travel.
The snowfall hasn't come in flurries, thankfully.
It's just been a gentle, continuous snowfall.
Chilled as it is, the blankets have come in handy
for those riding in the cart, as the carriages themselves
help insulate somewhat from the temperature.
There comes a point where
all of you who are present, Beauregard, Caleb, Nott,
where your hair begins to stand
on your skin,
and this deep lead-like sinking sensation
clutches the bottom of your stomach
as you've a short time ago met up
with the Gloryrun Road heading southward,
but you begin to come upon two familiar-looking mounds,
hills that flank the sides of the road.
I will message Caleb with my little wire and say,
Do you think we should stop? You going to reply to this question?
Yes.
I pull out my own wire and I aim towards Ophelia and say,
Mr. N'Zala, we require a few moments
on the side of the road here.
She responds, a quick pit stop,
if that is what you'd require?
Yeah, 10, 20 minutes, nothing more.
If I were?
The carriage at the front comes to a slow stop, the second carriage comes to a stop,
and as you all begin to step out of your spaces,
the soft white hills and white fields,
just small elements of the slushy road
immediately catch your vision,
and there, towards the southern side of the eastern hill,
you see the single wooden cross
embedded in the somewhat hard, cold earth.
There, not yet removed from the cross,
whether it be by luck or superstition,
there is the white snow-dappled,
multicolored coat of Mollymauk tea leaf.
I grab Jester by the hand
and walk her over.
I've never actually been to a grave before.
Really?
Not of someone I knew.
Right.
Yeah, it makes sense.
I get down on my knees. I think he's still here with us. I think so, too.
Thank you, Molly.
You know, I grabbed his stupid cards.
I love those cards.
You want to draw one?
Yeah.
Caleb scoops Nott up out of the cart that she's in and just You want to draw one? Yeah.
Caleb scoops Nott up out of the cart that she's in and we watch from a distance.
What did I pull?
What did you pull?
God, I gotta think about this. I think you pulled the moon again.
I pulled this the first time I met him.
Old faithful.
Well, this is his cart. I put it next to the little stick.
I'll hop off the carriage and walk over. Staring at the coat, I'll
summon the new sword.
You watch as the blade emerges. The golden sheen of the Summer Dance
is crooked towards the tip.
The previously smooth curvature of it
seeming to have blended with the design of the falchion.
It's a strange, exaggerated blend of the two.
In the way that I was taught by Vandran,
I will extend the sword to my side, bring it up in a salute,
swing it back down.
I've met a lot of people,
but I don't think I'll ever meet another character
as unique as you, Molly.
What time of day is it? It's about midday, and as you look around
at the nearby clouds, you glance over
back towards the cart, and you see,
stepping out of the Cloak of Illusion,
the leathered conscious figure
of Yasha, having shaken herself from the illusory binds.
Groggy and confused, she steps towards the rest of you.
What's going on?
I'm sorry, Asha.
While they were coming to rescue us.
We lost them.
He tried, he tried to get to your side. He tried very hard.
She takes a few more steps.
She seems to have tuned the rest of you out and is just focused on the marker.
It happened again.
She just walks towards the grave.
The crunching of her boots through the condensed snowfall
until eventually she comes to rest at the very point
where he was interred.
Falls to her knees, her shoulders slumped forward,
her hair dark to white,
tumbling past the front of her torso.
Turned away from you all, just quiet.
I put my hand on her shoulder.
I put my hand on the other one. Both of you feel her shoulders quaking.
Both of you feel her shoulders quaking.
You can't tell if it's tears, anger,
whatever it is, it's emotion.
You hear a growl.
The growl gets louder and louder. She begins to stand up.
All of you hear
this echoing scream
from the depths of Yasha's soul,
this mournful, baleful cry
of anger and anguish
just shatter the still cold air
of this midday sky.
The blackened skeletal wings of her fallen Esmeralda form force both of your hands to
recoil. As she looks up at the sky, in the distance, you see two or three flashes of blue lightning from a coalescing storm far to the east.
Her head lowers without meeting any of your gaze.
She puts her hand forward on the top of the marker,
steps around and begins walking
towards the storm.
Yasha.
Yasha puts her hand up.
I'll find you when I'm ready.
The wings flicker out.
Knowing how young Nott is, I hold her closer and rest her head on my shoulder and walk away from
this very painful thing to look at.
May I? I'm going to walk up, move a little bit of snow, and dig my hand as deep into the ground as I can,
and attempt to do the full casting of Lincoln Post and see what I get.
Are you going to make Molly tea? You see?
Please, Jannaryn. You finish focusing on the cantrip.
It feels like it sufficiently took root,
though you do not see any difference,
as it is a bit beneath the dirt.
Something will be here.
What did you just do?
I made the Earth remember him.
Something will be here.
Get back on the cart.
Leave them.
I've said it before, but I'm sorry we weren't here.
To help.
We haven't known each other that long, but... You've shown us incredible kindness and care.
And I am very grateful for that.
I will return the favor
if it's ever needed.
After a while, you just kind of lose track of favors.
It's okay.
I've never had many favors done my way.
It wasn't a favor, though.
You guys are the only friends I've ever had.
So, yeah. Most people in my life just kind of leave. Anyone I'm not driving away,
I guess I should probably try and start keeping people around at this point. I need to get myself some diamonds. That is an incredibly random thought.
No. It's so that this doesn't happen again.
I think you would have been happy
that you got to say goodbye.
But we should keep going.
Yeah.
Come, everyone. Molly wanted us to keep living.
And make things better.
Back in the cards.
As you all turn around and begin making your way,
crunching through the snow, outside of her carriage,
you see Ophelia Mardune, arms crossed,
just leaning against the outside of it.
As you approach, she has a curious tilt to her head
and she goes,
I assume this is where you lost someone.
Unfortunate. There is always a cost. Don't I know it.
Well, may whoever they are,
may their soul find peace.
Do whatever that means to them.
She turns around and gets back up into the carriage.
With that, you all assemble back onto your respective carts
and places and
the carts begin to pick up pace once more,
and silently, you all glance over your shoulder,
unable to look away until eventually the hills
break the horizon
and you're unable to see the last standing coat
and gravesite of Mollymaut.
Now heading southward for a few more days,
trekking down, you find your way
towards the Crispvale Thicket on the Goli Wren Road.
There is the crossroads, which turn westward,
and then curving outside of the Crispvale Thicket
towards Upper Duke and the Silberquell Ridge.
Eventually, after a couple more days,
you pass by and you can see in the distance,
as the night gets dark, you can see the glowing lights
and the fireworks of Hupperdook's evening celebrations.
Your memories calling back to that
wonderfully colored person.
All the joy they brought.
The flowers in their hair and horns.
Eventually heading back towards the cross as it leads towards Filderwen and Berylpin.
Following that path, about eight days of travel
lead you finally to the visual sight
of the central metropolis of Zadash ahead of you.
For whatever a home could be for this motley family,
this is it.
And you've made it.
By the time you arrive after an evening's camp,
you hit the northern gates outside of Zadash
by about one o'clock in the afternoon, it would be.
Ophelia presents her paperwork
to the crownsguard that guard the exterior gate.
Without issue, you're let in.
Back to the familiar cobblestone streets of the district.
You can see the tri-spires towering over the exterior walls
that mark that district.
Memories of what you've done here,
the times that you first met and made
whatever small impact and strange experiences
the city had before you've returned.
So, Mighty Nein, what do you wish to do?
Out of game.
How long have we been gone?
When did we leave Zadash?
Like we've been gone for? At least three weeks.
You guys are.
Feels like a year.
I don't know, but Caleb would know.
Caleb would know. Exactly.
And I'm sure CritRollStats, too, would know.
Caleb has CritRollStats.
I will guesstimate, since the last time
I checked in with them on this,
and the adventure you guys have gone through,
you're somewhere in the middle of,
you're like three and a half weeks in.
So you're pushing somewhere, I'm guessing,
after all that eight days of travel coming down here.
It might be a little less than that, probably.
You're moving slow because you're moving just carts,
not on horseback, so yeah.
You're getting pretty close to the 30-day mark.
Okay.
Also, since we spent so much time in those carriages,
I would have spent a full day with my lucky rock
that I found, and those ideas I had have come to fruition.
And I have set it just so.
All right.
All right, well, I have a Lucky Rock.
Yep, this game is about naturalness.
You have six weeks of Lucky Rocks?
I have luck again, I got a new feat.
Oh!
Cheers. Amen.
All the best, Trey.
Never again.
So what do you wish to do?
You've returned to...
We have to bring Ophelia to the gentleman, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but hold on, also we're aligned.
Seven or eight days on the road.
How much money do we all have?
Oh, I did the math between all the platinum
and gold that we found.
We should each get 163 gold pieces.
163.
Did you break down the platinum?
Yes. 101 platinum, 101 gold.
Not as much as I want.
Wait a minute, but how much gold do I?
Including Yasha, who I assume took her share.
Of course she did, yeah.
Yes.
We threw it and it landed in her pocket
and she goused it up.
And we are hopefully going to collect
some fat stacks from the gentleman.
Am I getting in on this as well?
Yeah, you are.
You of course as well are, dude.
That's awfully nice.
We're going to have an introduction period.
You stay for two weeks, and then we can get you your money.
That seems very approved.
Nothing.
Why don't I add money?
Oh, it's currency tap.
Money, money.
Yeah, you tap the money.
Actions, spell, equipment,
and then touch on the icons of the coins in D&D Beyond.
Wait a minute, but didn't you guys steal some money from me?
We took a bunch of your gold.
We took about 70 gold.
No, of course not. We took 70 gold.
I got a lot of tweets about it.
Thanks, guys.
We took some of Molly's gold, so it wasn't just for troublemakers.
Thanks, guys.
Laura, that's the last time we let you in on our secrets.
Yeah.
So it's how much gold, how much platinum?
Just 163 gold, I just broke it down into gold.
I think I got it that way.
But it's all platinum.
I have some gold, too, and I don't know how much it was.
Okay.
He might.
Matt, do we find a bank to break change on the way?
I can say if you'd like to,
there are ways to transition the money. I mean, it break change on the way? I can say if you'd like to, there are ways
to transition the money.
Can we stop?
For ease, you can say gold piece value
for just keeping tabs on it, but you can say
that a portion of it is platinum for ease of travel.
Though you have a bag of holding, it's not a huge issue.
Okay.
Yeah, a bag of holding is one of those items
where eventually when you reach a certain level,
you're like, you know what, let's not worry about
all that copper and silver and gold piece.
We all have roughly 30-something platinum.
Dope.
And I drooled at least a 15 on that investigation check.
You never would have found that bag of holdings.
Holy Jesus, that was a detective?
Oh my god. Detective!
I just rolled a really crap considering.
Thank you.
Easy.
I don't know if I I show the notes there regularly,
but that is the 15 plus investigation roll right there.
Oh my god.
We don't doubt you, Matt.
We don't doubt you.
I know.
I know you don't sleep.
I know you stare at a computer monitor
and think up numbers for us nonstop.
It's true.
I should be better about being a human being.
So.
It's all good.
The carriages make their way, bee-lining,
as if they know where to go, towards the evening nip.
Oh, do we remember the code to get in?
What is it, you say, like, I need a drink.
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Yeah.
What is it?
I'm here to help.
It's like I need to speak to the gentleman.
No, no. We're here to the gentleman. No, no.
We're here to help, Draene.
No, no, no, it's a phrase, it's a phrase.
I have it written down somewhere.
Maybe Ophelia knows.
I'm pretty sure she'll know.
Ophelia, do you know the secret code?
I'd like to offer many gifts.
That is indeed it.
Bitches.
So the carriages eventually find their way
snaking through the sometimes narrow streets of Zadash
until eventually you find your way
to the outskirts of the Evening Nip.
The carriages stop.
I imagine the carts will come to a stop as well,
those who are driving them.
Ophelia steps out and her drivers hold view on this.
Ophelia heads towards and waits at the doorway
to the evening nip.
One of her drivers comes up behind her with the bags
that she had packaged in the carriage,
and as you guys step off of him,
one of the carriages is then brought around the back
to the evening nip.
She has her arms crossed.
Is that all you are coming?
Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Good, follow me.
She steps inside. As you all step into the dark interior of the tavern, the first thing you see,
of course, amongst the various empty tables and booths in this small, divey tavern, the familiar
smell of stained wood and strong liquors spilt on floors that have long warped and been stained with all sorts of drinks and chemicals.
You see the gruff dwarven bartender, Clive,
look back at you, his chin chewing something
on the inside of his mouth.
Ah, I was given word she might show up.
Most likely not, mind you, but word was given.
Go ahead.
I have many gifts. Right, right, no, I've seen you before. Yeah, but I do have many gifts, but what was given. Go ahead. I have many gifts.
Right, right, no, I've seen you before.
Yeah, but I do have many gifts.
Great, well, bring her up.
She comes back.
Ophelia. Worked!
Ophelia looks like she's trying to recall something.
She's like,
it's around that way, I think.
She follows you in.
It looks like she's trying to recall,
like it's been a while since she's been here.
I go, yeah, it's this way.
Right, I know.
That's to the bathroom.
I remember.
As we're heading down, I'll drop my mask of any faces.
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
You find the trapdoor and open it,
and you begin to descend the tight spiral staircase
that leads into the under chambers
of the gentleman's's Lair.
As you reach the base of it, you can hear the sound
of a lazy harp playing inside the stone-encased chamber.
Across the way, you can see the individual
playing the harp is Kara, who's leaned against the bar
on a stool, her legs up on the edge of a table.
There's a little, small, compact harp
that she's plucking away lazily.
Looks like she may have been imbibing early this day.
The usual suspects fill two of the tables,
the same ogre guardian eyeing you all
with both familiarity and general mindless suspicion.
Who's it hasn't been?
Yeah.
Yeah, very talkative for him, actually.
The left table appears to be rather crowded.
There is a card game afoot.
You can see the gentleman is amongst this group.
Most of the general attendees of this area,
the Underworks seem to have gathered.
There's seven players at the table at this point,
and the others are just watching from the outskirts,
and they're in the middle of what looks to be
a rather tense hand.
There's quite a pile of coin,
a variety of copper, silver, and gold,
all thrown in a bit, a handful of platinum
thrown into the mix.
Looks like this is some sort of crescendo.
As the gentleman is there looking at his cards in his hand,
his eyes quickly glance up and notice you approach,
and he gives an acknowledging nod,
and he goes right back to his hand,
and he's focused at the other players at the table.
Behind him, you can see a looming Sora,
his half-giant guardian is still standing there over him,
her arms crossed, and she just watches as you approach,
and then looks very carefully over everyone at the table
to make sure that everyone's hands are visible.
At this point, you watch as everyone's hands are called,
and one by one,
each hand's at the table, and then at once,
you see this raucous cry and scream of excitement
and boos all at once, and you watch as the gentleman
throws his cards down,
shaking his head as he accepts defeat.
One of his handymen manages to scrape the coins
off the table.
He goes and reaches over to a bowl
and the table behind him and pulls
what looks to be a fresh strawberry
that's been cleaned perfectly,
none of the green remaining at the top of it,
and pops into his mouth, chews for a second,
and looks over to the rest of you.
As he glances the direction and points a finger, and looks over to the rest of you. As he glances the direction and
points a finger, everyone looks over their shoulder and notices your approach, and they begin to
get their cards. It seems like the gaming session is done with your arrival. The gentleman looks
over and goes, My, my, my. I would have easily read my opponents had my eyes not been so blinded by beauty. He looks towards Ophelia.
He sits up and she puts her hand out and he takes the hand and kisses it.
In one rapid movement, it grabs her arm and stands up and sweeps her around in his arm
and brings her in for this really passionate kiss.
There's a moment where they're both just locked in before he goes and pulls away
and grasps his lip and you can see there's blood
now curling down and she sits there
and licks the blood and goes,
It has been a while, my azure lover.
However, business before pleasure.
He wipes his lip a bit and goes,
Lava.
You've seen that before.
The gentleman rubs his lip for a second.
Ah.
Ah, well, you've upheld your promise
and sent, it seems, some sort of a successful endeavor,
right, I assume since you've returned with her?
She goes, they are a very capable team, indeed.
Consider our debt paid, she says to the gentleman. She goes, they are a very capable team, indeed.
Consider our debt paid, she says to the gentlemen. Now, I would like to see their debt paid as well,
for they paid for their service in blood.
The gentleman stands up at his table.
Of course, my dear, of course.
I am sorry to hear that.
He looks amongst you all,
looks over to you and gives a curious look,
and keeps glancing about.
Ah.
I see what she refers to.
My apologies.
However, that is the way of the entrepreneurial sellsword,
is it not?
And he seems to be making a calculation
in his mind for a moment.
We are on schedule.
Did you get my messages?
I didn't, thank you very much.
Actually, the storehouse is already up and running again,
so thank you very much for the notification.
That saved us some time as well.
That's the place, the tree place, right?
That is a way of explaining it, yes.
Also, Mr. Gentleman, sir,
we didn't catch you at a bad time, did we?
It seems that you just stepped out of the shower
or something, is...
Should we come back after you've dried yourself off
and made yourself presentable, or?
You watch as the glimmer of confidence in his eyes
sets into this glare for a second, and then he,
I'll be fine.
Well, your contract is fulfilled.
Miss Mardoon and I will take the week
to reestablish our trade line,
and I thank you, you've earned every copper.
Looks over his shoulder and you see
as two of his various goons
come over with what looks to be a heavy chest.
Onto the table, it hits with a very, very mighty strike.
The whole table shakes for a second,
and as they open it, it is filled
with gold and platinum coins.
Glancing in, it's mostly platinum.
Ooh!
Oh my gosh.
Got hundreds, y'all.
He pushes it forward and it comes to about 600
platinum pieces and 250 gold pieces.
3,250 gold. 600. 3,250 gold.
600.
3,250 gold.
It's platinum plus gold.
Around 600 platinum pieces times five.
Times five?
Times 10.
Times 10? Yeah.
Even better.
The remaining sum for the agreement
that you had made was 6,250 gold pieces.
Wow.
For both jobs being completed.
He had paid some in advance.
That's right.
He had given you some funds,
but this was the rest of the agreed upon amount.
100 silver, y'all.
I think your math is off.
He then reaches back into a small belt pouch
that is carefully hidden on the inside of his belt,
counts out a few coins,
and throws them across the table towards you.
It looks to be another 50 or so platinum.
Ooh! We got a tip?
What is this tip?
For your loss and your troubles.
Wow. That is very honorable.
I am nothing if not.
So you have a new companion
that you've dragged into my sanctum.
He has many gifts to offer.
I have no idea what's going on right now.
Mr. Clay, this is money, and you can use it to buy things.
Like goods or services.
What kind of goods or services?
You know, tailoring services.
What are you interested in?
I know what money is, I'm just having fun with that.
Yeah, but still, what are you interested in?
You know, I've never really thought about it before.
I think, yeah, I can think of about four things
I'd like to get, that's nice, yeah.
I'm sure they have a lot of tea blends here in Zadash.
Well, and I could probably use a new tea set
and maybe a new skillet and.
Well, you had three cups, so you need one.
Yeah, some of the four things to making a set of seven.
Three, four, five.
This ought to cover it.
Do you like rings?
No, I'm okay. Whoa.
Well, regardless, we do have two choices here.
Either we kill you,
or we take a bit of your essence to keep tabs.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, we probably should have told you that
before we brought you in here.
Yeah, they all got little collections of our blood
in these vials.
It's just a formality.
We need to protect our interests as much as yours.
I hope you understand, Mr., Miss, I don't,
whatever you like.
Clay, Mr. Clay, Mr. Clay.
Mr. Clay.
I'm going to try and get an insight check
on this interesting gold.
23.
Ooh, secrets.
Secrets.
Hey, Laura.
Hey, yes, Sam?
How do you like the new layout of the D&D Beyond app? I don't think you've used it yet.
No, this is my first time looking at it, but I'll tell you what, it sure is great.
Wow.
My brain isn't working. I was trying to think of a word for it.
Everything I want is now in condensed.
Man, your schlocky bit is great and all,
but it is really good to have you two at the table again.
It'll only be better if Ashley was here,
but it is really good to have you two back.
Fucking for real.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, as you were.
Okay, but I'm going to need something.
Curious, tell me what you need.
I need you to promise not to do anything
untoward with it.
Just whatever you're going to do
and what you need it for, obviously.
Everyone seemed okay with that.
I just need you to promise that you're not going to
cast anything weird or, you know.
You have my word as a gentleman.
That seems fair.
All right, Cree!
From around the corner, you see, finishing a meal,
the dark-furred, yellow-eyed, tabaxi woman
begins to approach, pulling the small satchel of
Interesting. pulling open the flap and taking out and begins to approach, pulling the small satchel of
pulling open the flap and taking out
what looks to be a small blade.
I'm going to, I can do it.
I'm going to get one of my beetles to come out
and just bite my finger for me.
Oh, how strange.
Thank you.
As you watch, as she pulls one vial out of her satchel,
uncorking it, and then as she curls a finger upward,
the blood seems to lift at a slow arc out of the wound
and drift, dancing through the air,
and then into the vial before it's filled about halfway,
and the blood flow staunches
and completes the vial to about three quarters.
She corks it and puts it back into the satchel, closing it.
Thank you very much for your donation.
You're welcome.
I'm going to really quickly cast Eyes of the Grave.
Are there any undead within 60 feet?
Interesting point.
No, no undead within 60 feet.
Thank you.
You feel a little more comfortable knowing that.
Yeah, just wanted to check.
Cre turns to you and goes,
ah, I hate to bother, but in happy to see you return,
I see that Lucien is not with you.
Oh, yes.
That is correct, he had his own business
to attend to, He parted ways.
Make a deception check. Oh boy.
Natural 20.
Holy shit. Thanks, Matt Colville.
Yeah.
High score.
All right.
Well, should you cross paths with him again,
tell him that Cree would like to see him.
It's been so brief since we've been reunited.
It didn't end well, it seems doubtful,
but yeah, if we see him again, rest assured.
Very well.
Anyway, it is good to see all of you.
Welcome back.
The gentleman is pleased with your success.
Yes, and then turns around and then shuffles her way back
to where she was sitting.
Can I ask a question, Matthew?
Yes, you may.
Do we know what day it is?
Is it past Quen Pilar?
It's probably right on the cusp of Quen Pilar.
Okay.
Yeah, because Fessoran, that shift happened
with the Harvest Clothes Festival, if I recall.
I'll double check after the episode
just to be sure I get you the right answer,
but it's, if you're right on the cusp,
if not right now entering into that month.
Could I get the gentleman's attention and say,
this adventure has been thorough.
A name came up in our travels,
and I was wondering if you may have heard of someone,
Amarius LePouille?
What are you doing? of someone, Amarius LePouille.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Go on, go on.
Ah, and as you're talking to him,
his eyes are locked on Ophelia, and he's like,
I can't say that rings a bell,
but I can certainly ask my contacts
if you're looking for information about this individual.
What was the name?
Marius Lapuilpoilpoil,
P-U-A-L.
I'll look into it.
Don't worry.
Appreciate it.
Pleasure is mine, Fjord.
Anything else you require?
Otherwise, I believe you have some money to spend.
Oh, yes! So much!
Thank you. Is it still open bar?
Is it not?
Please be my guest. Love that answer.
I go to the bar.
Lend a liquor for all you'd like.
I'll take whatever is not liquor.
Do you have any milk?
They do have milk. They do have milk, yep.
I don't think I've ever had milk.
Oh, you have to try it, it's so good.
I'm going to try milk.
It's not particularly chilled, and it's thick and creamy.
It's your choice whether or not it's your preference,
based on how you've lived most of your life.
That's what I'm doing.
This is weird, I'm not sure.
Oh, it's from a cow.
Or a goat. It could be from a goat.
It could be a goat.
It could be from a mom.
That's weird.
It's very weird.
Maybe just have some tea. Come in, Mom. That's the plan. We should very well.
Maybe just have some tea.
They might have tea, do you have tea?
Then the barkeep, who you see is the ragged,
middle-aged man who's running the bar at the moment,
one eye is, you don't know if it's swollen shut
or he's just missing an eye,
or he's just wanting to study you very closely
with the left one.
Leans forward and goes,
You joking, right?
Ha! Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, ha ha!
It's a funny joke. It's a good one.
That's a really funny joke. I've been working on it.
I can tell, it's well, it works out well.
It works great for me.
We'll just have some whiskey, then.
Whiskey it is, I got you whiskey.
Puts a couple shots in the bar.
Try this, Mr. Clay.
Mm, that's a little strong.
It's from the earth, though.
They make it from grains.
I'm not sure this is, this doesn't.
They take wheat and barley and stuff,
and they mash it up and let it sit outside.
They let it decompose a little bit.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Am I aware that he doesn't know? Okay, am I aware that Sam doesn't actually know how whiskey
is made?
That's how you do it. You take some mash, put it together, put it in a barrel.
I don't know any of this, do I? Okay, hold on.
Yeah, sure, okay, apparently.
Let's have a shot. This is getting angry at Sam.
All right, here we go.
And together, both tiny goblin Nott,
with her rather large comparatively shot glass,
and very large Caduceus Clay
with a comparatively really tiny shot glass
both in unison, whack, slam back.
The bartender's already refilled yours.
Is it supposed to do that?
Oh yes, very much.
The earth is calling you to her.
Do you have anything to take the edge off? Try some milk, Nethelmere.
And so he pours another glass of milk
and pushes it forward.
A milk chaser for your whiskey?
Oh, fuck.
Oh.
Oh.
This is what people drink.
Oh.
Someone make him a white Russian.
No.
No!
Did we not know that at first?
Oh my god.
If you like milk, you'll love this.
You got Nicolula back there?
You're the worst people.
Some med mixer?
Can I find, is it Kara?
Kara? Kara.
Kara, thank you, yeah.
Back leading, she's watching as you approach.
We've gone for a while.
When we left, Zadash was in a bit of a tizzy.
How is it in the city?
It's comparably all right.
Most of the business has made its way eastward.
Things have come back to normal.
Troop presence about the same?
Well, most of the troop presence went ahead
and made its way towards where the outposts were.
Any coming back, any wounded, any?
Not that I've been paying attention to, at least.
No incursions, no security problems?
Not right now.
Thank you.
Of course, of course.
Come back and ask tomorrow, it might change, but.
True. True.
Hey.
Glad you're well.
Thank you.
You all right there, bud?
Yeah, I don't think I take compliments very well.
No, you don't. Yeah.
Whiskey.
The rings are served around.
You guys can take as much time here if you'd like to.
Whatever you'd like to do.
Well, we can leave, right?
Yeah, whenever you want to.
Whatever you want to do, the city is yours.
Yeah, but I'm going to plunk down in front of Fjord
just for a minute after everybody's milling about
for a while. Okay. I'm going to plunk down in front of Fjord just for a minute, after everybody's milling about for a while. Okay.
I'm going to sit down as well.
Still a little booth, booth in the back,
back corner, back corner boofing.
All right. This may be the alcohol.
It's the alcohol.
Raise a glass, you two assholes.
Here is to fucking making it work.
Oh, okay.
You got out of that without any liquor.
Yeah, it was honestly, this is why I don't wear white.
Cheers.
Congratulations on being alive.
Yeah.
Fjord, you survived being chained up and tortured.
That's got to fuck with a person, right?
Yeah.
More the disappointment.
You know, I expect better of myself.
I let you guys down, I let Jester down,
I let Yasha down.
I'll never be able to shake this.
Fjord, you cannot keep blaming yourself
when you were the victim in this circumstance.
You understand that, right?
No, I don't. There are people to blame. the victim in this circumstance. You understand that, right?
No, I don't. There are people to blame.
I wasn't joking when I said it was someone's fault earlier,
but it is not yours.
The only person's fucking fault it was
is fucking asshole Lorenzos and fucking human traffickers.
No, I get that, I do.
Yeah, you cannot blame yourself Fucking human traffickers. No, I get that, I do.
You cannot blame yourself
when you are
taken advantage of, you know what I mean?
You don't understand, though,
my whole life was
trying to blend in, trying to keep an eye out for someone that was trying to blend in,
trying to keep an eye out for someone that was looking to take advantage,
that was going to exploit.
I got comfortable.
I felt relaxed.
There's no reason why three of us out on watch
couldn't see them coming and raise an alarm fast enough.
There's also no reason that the three of us
couldn't have made a fucking plan
that couldn't have gotten Molly killed.
I'll drink to that.
No, I'm never going to forget it.
It's going to ride with us till we're dead.
Yeah.
It puts everything in perspective, though,
I'll tell you that much.
Those things don't go away.
You carry that shit with you, you know?
I was floating around,
just trying to find my way to the Cerberus.
I don't know if that's what I want to do anymore. What do you want to do?
I felt like I almost died and I hadn't taken care of any of the shit that got me here in the first place.
I was so worried about trying to learn about these new abilities that...
I felt like I got distracted.
I have people I want to find.
Things I want to remedy.
Yeah.
How did Jester do? No offense, but she seems like she's a little bit more
willfully stronger than you are.
I mean, fuck, it's really disturbing.
Like, she came out of there
to like a little kettle of popcorn, no problem.
I mean, can I see Jester, is she nearby?
Jester, are you nearby?
Yeah, I'm across the bar,
just fucking dancing alone.
Just 16 candles, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I was really, I was worried.
There were really dark times,
and I would hear Jester singing to herself at night,
and then she'd change lyrics,
and then my name would be in the lyrics sometimes,
and every morning she would try and cheer everybody up
that was around her, but she had the muffle,
so I couldn't tell if my brain was playing tricks on me
or if she was just,
I don't think there's much that gets her down.
It's not kind of inspiring.
I think it is an act.
An act?
I think it is an act.
It is kind of fucked that there's no music right now.
Can't force the playlist.
No, you know, she has a lot of, she's an amazing woman, but
talent is different than
happiness, I guess.
I don't know, she looks fucking stoked to me right now.
Well, she's very drunk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to join this table.
I've had six drinks.
I'm in the biggest city I've ever been in.
Everything tastes terrible.
Yeah.
Oh, Matt, I don't even know what these last two are.
They're just terrible.
You don't want to drink it because it tastes good.
Mr. Clay, have a seat, drop a deuce.
Hey!
That was well placed.
If it had to be anywhere.
He's making fun of your name!
Oh yeah, no, I've heard it before.
I mean, it's a world nature, though. Of no, I've heard it before. I mean, it's a well natured, though.
Of course.
You've heard it before?
Did you have a lot of cemetery folks
that were good for a good natured ribbon?
I mean, you'd be amazed how people deal with
a grieving process.
I mean, you're going through it right now.
Yep.
I go, Jester!
LaVoie.
Nott!
What?
Come sit down, damn it!
Okay, okay, okay.
What, have you not thrown up yet?
Is that part of, are you supposed to, is that?
You will.
How's your face feel?
Normal face style, I suppose.
Go like this, go.
Can you feel it?
Can you feel that?
I can feel my lips doing that.
He's pretty tall, he's a big guy.
Wait.
You can't properly be part of civilization
until you have gotten shit-faced and thrown up.
Ooh, you know what you're going to be good for
when it's cold?
Fucking hot toddies.
I've made a hot toddy before. I bet you make a great hot toddies. Oh! I've made a hot toddy before.
I bet you make a great hot toddy.
Addison did.
Folks feet.
Oh man.
Cinnamon lemon tea.
A little side conversation,
I slapped down the rest of my Goldschlager.
Fucking fucked up.
Ew. Ew. God. You're hypnotic? Goldschlager. Fucking fucker. Ew. Ew.
God. You're hypnotic.
Huh? You're hypnotic.
You're Malibu.
No, no, no. With Orbits.
You have some more.
You will dance better.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't need any help to dance better.
That's pretty good.
I understand that, but we are, you know, dancing along the razor's edge
of death, so, you know.
I feel like you should embrace the morbidity of life.
You don't have to drink it.
You definitely do not have to.
No, you don't have to.
Definitely do not have to.
Not at all. Not at all.
I feel like this is reverse psychology.
Don't drink it, whatever you do.
Mm.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.
You are supposed to not drink that.
Have you ever had liquor?
Yes, of course.
Oh, well, what happened?
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I had like...
Are we talking about your little girl with the...
There you go. Nothing happened.
That's it? Yeah.
I don't think we have. No, she's never drunk.
I don't think so.
Why not?
You know, milk is just so good.
It is very good.
I don't know if I agree with that, but...
Is there a reason why you won't drink?
Are you afraid?
Afraid?
I'm not afraid of anything.
Wow, intense.
I mean, look at her biceps are quite large.
There's no reason to be afraid of anything.
Never mind. Look at these things.
They're huge.
You know what?
We're all just happy to be alive.
It was just the spirit of the moment.
I don't mean to pressure you.
I would like to try something that tastes good.
That's what I would like to have.
I would have to try to just order that from would like to try something that tastes good. That's what I would like to have. I would have to try to just order that
from the first place as something that tastes good.
Oh, my gosh.
Mr. Clay. Yes?
Have you ever had a donut?
No.
Have you ever had any pastries?
What a bunch of slapdicks we are.
Well, I mean, I've made bread, but I don't.
You know where we should take him?
That one place right next to the smut shop
that had the really good donuts?
What's a smut shop?
Oh my gosh, there's so much to say.
I feel like we should go to the bathhouse.
That's where Molly would want us to go.
Molly would want us to go to the bathhouse.
You know what, hold on a second.
Grab your milk.
Everybody raise a glass.
To freedom!
No.
Oh, to that purple devil, to Mollymauk Tealeaf.
To the Tealeaf.
Yeah.
And now to our new tea leaf.
That's funny.
I like that. I thought that's ironic.
Yeah, it is.
You're like Winston Dunlap.
Really barely Vincent Dunlap.
Oh, definitely the bathhouse in Pumat, right?
Oh, yeah.
He's been like a month. He's got to have some cool shit.
Fjord, you want to go shopping this week, yeah?
Sure.
He's very drunk. He must be drunk.
What kind of swords would you like to eat this week?
Nope. What would you like? What kind of swords would you like to eat this week? Would you like to eat a Tsai, like Raphael's weapon, or would you like to have maybe a...
Raphael the mason?
He's a bard from...
You're talking about experimenting with how many weapons we can see.
Yeah, what could we put in his him? This is all out of character.
I don't know any of this stuff,
but I would like to talk to Travis about, you know,
swallowing whole long swords.
Well, I didn't really swallow the last one.
It just kind of absorbed it.
I know, that's all.
So here's my question.
If we don't turn in the crystal eyeball in your chest,
Clove and Crystal, Clove and crystal.
Fuckable cantaloupe.
If we don't have that,
does that mean bounty hunters are going to come after you?
No, no, no, they would come after Ionos, Lonos, Jonas.
I'm not sure. It's Ionos.
Ionos?
Jonos.
May I?
Make a special I on there, I can't tell.
Have a look at that.
Oh, Keen Mind.
There you go.
You have to delete that in 30 days.
Nobody knows about its current origins,
we just know who was looking for it
and who it was supposed to go to.
Did you notice the gentleman's face
when you mentioned that name?
Yeah.
He looked over at Ophelia, it was very suspicious.
Yeah, I thought that was just the bone-dogging look.
No, no, no, you have to pick up on the subtleties
of the human expression to get this stuff.
Jester and I saw it, it was definitely suspicious.
He was sweating out of nervousness.
He did! He did!
Very good, Caleb.
It's a tell, it's what it is.
We should see if he knows the name of Antica.
I think I'll go mention it to the gentleman.
But just say it like. In passing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't make it obvious.
Yeah.
It's a casual sort of name.
Is he still in the bar?
He's in the bar, he's actually near the stairs.
At this point, the two drivers have brought down
all the handbags for Ophelia, and have placed them
in a pile at the base of it.
That massive Gucci luggage.
Yeah.
It looks like she's shacking up in the Underworks
for a little bit while they reestablish this trade route.
So they're in a bit of conversation, flirtatiously.
He seems, it's almost like a subtle Pepe Le Pew scenario
where he's definitely playing it on a bit thick
and she's being very dodgy and playful, but you know.
Establishing trade.
No, she'll end up staying. Do we see this?
Do we see this happening?
You see it in distance, yeah.
She's totally flirting with him just to get the goods.
You think so?
Oh yeah, she didn't actually want this.
She just wants to maintain a good relationship.
He is laying it on thick.
Yeah.
Look, she's like, please stop touching me.
Well, I will trust you because you are,
I'm going to quit while I'm ahead.
That was good, Caleb.
Hey, Caleb. Yeah?
You're a good friend.
Please don't ever ask me about my sex life.
I say this with the utmost gravity.
I have no interest in your sex life.
You believe me?
Insight check me.
What's an insight check?
I only have gold, I don't have checks.
You're a good friend.
Let's get out of this place.
Aren't you just going to yell the name out?
I'm going to go over there.
Antigua!
No!
Antigua!
That's not the name, that's an island.
Antigua?
We're going to Florida!
Did it work? No, I don't think that would do it.
Every 50th episode, Critical Role has to have a drunken bar knight. It's in a contract somewhere.
I think it is, yeah. It's in our own internal friend contract.
Pup crawl?
Yeah, pup crawl.
Okay, I'm going to stumble over to the gentleman
and just say, I think we're going to head out now,
but if you need us, we'll probably be at the Leaky Tap
or something, and.
Oh, that's fine.
You know where to find me if you need anything as well.
Sure, sure.
We've probably been summoned by this person named Avantika,
so we're probably just going to go find.
All right, if there's anything you require from me,
let me know.
Okay, you don't know where she is in town?
Can't say I do. Or he,
I'm not really sure.
No. Okay.
Cool, cool, cool.
Can you inside check him?
Well, off we go.
Oh, Jester, don't forget, we're going to talk about the captain later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's already talking to Ophelia and isn't paying attention.
He's now having various members of his troop pick isn't paying attention. Oh, they're very weird.
He's now having various members of his troop
pick up her bags for her and move her
into one of the other chambers.
I was insight checking him while Nott was talking to him.
Make an insight check.
Come on.
No.
12.
At this distance, you can't even see his face,
unfortunately, so it's hard. You're seeing the body
movement a little bit, but his gestures seem to be in line with classic Gentleman.
I feel like his hands moved a little bit more, but I can't tell for sure. There's tension in his
fist. Like right here, I see. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't focus because there was so much
dripping going on, you know, it's like a mask of water.
It's disgusting.
I kind of like it, I think it looks cool.
How do you make a non-tense fist?
I'm trying to like...
Like this?
Well, you know.
Like what?
No, no.
Keep going.
Follow that thread. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull like water. No, no. Keep going. Follow that thread.
Yeah, yeah.
Pull that string.
Be like water.
All right, let's get the fuck out of here.
All right.
Super hammered, we stumbled on.
You guys stumble your way out of the Evening Nip
back into the streets of Zadash
to find your fortune,
to enjoy the fruits of your labor,
and the best way you can
maintain the memory of a man who lived life to his fullest.
A man, a woman, a they, to the fullest.
What's that?
I light a few cherry bombs
and throw them at my friends.
What?
In celebration.
Jesus.
Cherry bombs?
Fuck those guys.
Fireworks are going off in the center of the street.
For Molly!
Some horses freak out and some carts get dragged down
at a fast pace down the road.
Yeah, I drunkenly form the goblight.
Oh!
Ooh!
Whoa!
My whole body starts glowing with the light.
You set me on fire!
It's all for money!
A confusing display follows you.
It's a simple mistake.
Heading towards the Pentamark, and that's where we'll pick up next week. A confusing display follows you. It's a simple mistake.
Heading towards the Pentamark,
and that's where we'll pick up next week.
This display, we are your destiny.
Oh no, oh no.
This is a lot.
So we'll pick up on that next Thursday.
You guys will have some downtime.
We'll have a couple weeks of game downtime
for your characters, if there's anything
you want to accomplish.
We're going to do so much!
Do we tell you now or later?
So much shopping.
Think about it over the next week.
In the beginning of next episode,
we'll discuss what it is you want to accomplish,
and we might have a few momentary role-play moments,
depending on what it is you want to do.
That involves contacts, purchases, research,
looking for information, anything you want to do
specific to your character.
Start thinking about that throughout the week.
Money-wise, we each get 964 more gold.
Ooh!
Can we make that platinum?
Because most of us platinum.
What would that be?
964 each.
That's 96 platinum and four gold.
Okey-dokey. Oh man, that's great.
All my spell books and scrolls will be converted
in the next week, huzzah!
Huzzah!
Are you sure we can't play for another seven hours tonight?
Just this once, just one 10 hour Critical Role episode.
You remember that tavern called the Leaky Nip?
Yeah.
I can't complain.
Have you been sitting on that all night?
Because that was amazing.
If I didn't have a 9 AM call time in Santa Monica tomorrow,
I would be totally down for it.
So you're saying there's a chance?
Yes. No, I'm good.
But anyway, thank you guys.
Laura and Travis, welcome back.
Yeah!
We missed you guys so much.
It's so good to be back.
So happy to have you.
Ashley, we love you.
Happy birthday.
We'll have you back as soon as we can get you.
We love you.
And we love you, all you guys coming
and hanging out with us tonight for our silly adventure.
Once again, it was wonderful to meet everybody at Gen Con.
Thank you for joining us there. Thank you for joining us for the live show.
Thank you for joining us tonight.
And is it Thursday yet?
Good night.
And this concludes the current chapter of
Critical Role. Your essays on the history
and impact of the various ages
and epochs of Exandria
are eagerly anticipated.
Just kidding.
No homework for you, but if you are inspired to do some writing, please leave us a review.
Your words can really help new folks find our show and encourage them to give it a try.
Thank you so much for joining us on this adventure.
Until next time.