Critical Role - C2E32 Beyond the Boundaries

Episode Date: August 24, 2018

The Mighty Nein return to several old stomping grounds as they journey south to Nicodranas and the Menagerie Coast...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hi there, this is Matthew Mercer, resident Game Master here at Critical Role, to welcome you to this podcast version of the show. If you'd like to watch the stream as it airs, you can catch it Thursdays at 7pm Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole or youtube.com slash criticalrole. Twitch subscribers can access the video on demand immediately after the broadcast and it also becomes available on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. Podcast episodes land right here on the Critical Role Podcast Network on Thursdays, a week after the initial broadcast. Okay, with that info dump out of the way, let's dive into the story.

Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. That's what we be doing! What's Dungeons & Dragons? You will find out, Liam. He who ran it earlier for his daughter. Congratulations on them making it through the bone grinder. Some of my kids, my daughter had some of the pie. Yeah. You were going to tell them what it was made of,

and then you did. You let them live? Yes. Well, how much of them lived? It's Barovia, to be fair. Anyway, welcome. Before we hop into tonight's game, we have some announcements to get through.

So first and foremost, I believe, if Sam is ready, it looks like he's stretching himself, we have our fantastic sponsor for the campaign, since day one, our friends at D&D Beyond. D&D Beyond, everybody. They're such great sponsors. They've been putting up with my shenanigans for so long. So tonight, I thought I would just do a simple, normal ad read for them, just singing their praises of the service, of the company, of how they're making D&D fun and easy again. So I just wrote a little, quick little... I left it at home on my printer. Oh no.

But it's okay. It's okay. No problem. I'm essentially an improv god, right? So I'll just make something up on the fly. I'll just go from the heart. I like D&D Beyond. Ugh, damn it, Sam. You're blowing it. Come on. Come up with something. Anything. Because it works on PCs and Macintosh, and that's very important because- What? That's the best you got? Macintosh? What is this, 1997? Say something that helps them sell subscriptions. And their logo is neat. Their logo is neat? Were you kicked in the head by a donkey? Okay, forget the product. Just be funny. Tell a joke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club and- No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you trying to offend people? Look, just sing a song. At least Laura will pretend to enjoy it. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna get you drunk, get you love drunk on my humps, my humps, my humps. Stop right now. That was really good. You are an idiot. Why did I make a satanic deal with you?

Your everlasting soul isn't worth this bullshit. I, Mephistopheles, hereby release you from our pact. Go on, live your life without my constant help and sense of humor. Sam Riegel, I, Satan, I feel, I feel, I feel like that was a great D&D Beyond ad and scene. That really zigged when I thought I was going to zag. Yeah, yeah. That was so good. I will say, unfortunately, without Satan at your back,

I don't think you're allowed to play Dungeons & Dragons anymore. It's kind of a requirement if you didn't know. You have to, like, name up your ticket. The table's not a free ticket, man. Yeah, but the 80s taught us anything. That's true. Thank you, Sam. And thank you, our friends at D&D Beyond. Wow.

All right, so a few other things to mention. We put up a video on Wednesday announcing one of our first upcoming series here on Critical Role's channel, entitled Handbooker Helper. Yay! Sue us! We're 12. We're discussing how excitedly the people in Handbooker Helper's marketing team are like,

why is there a sudden uptick in interest in our brand? They're flying off the shelves! Sponsor us! If you guys want to sponsor Handbooker Helper, let us know. Freshie Bunch and Booker Helper. But yeah, so anyway, it's going to be a short-form series, bite-sized video snippets introducing people who have either never played Dungeons & Dragons

or want a bit of a refresher course on the fifth edition rules from the handbook, but in very, very easy to understand, presentory fashion. Bite-sized segments. Yes. Five minutes or less. I can't tell you how many people have been like, you want to play D&D? And we show them the book and they go,. Hopefully this will help alleviate for some folk that issue and get some more

folks that you've been wanted to get on board with the game to play with you and your campaign a little bit of a softer introduction to the game. I look forward to that. It launches on August 29th, right around the corner. It's going to be our first episode. Look for information on CritRole.com. Marisha, do you have anything else you wanted to add to that? On YouTube, on Wednesdays, on our CritRole YouTube. Hell yeah. Is the Critical Role YouTube channel

called Critical Role or CritRoll? YouTube.com slash Critical Role. Good to know, good to know. But if you're confused, all that information is on CritRoll.com. CritRoll.com. If anyone owns CriticalRoll.com, message us back. Please. Please.

Weirdly, the Hamburger Helper Organization. Big, big helper. The fucking glove. The glove's like. We've been really trying to talk to the glove. We're good now. All right, also, for those guys who didn't know this, tomorrow, our production team here at Critical Role Land

are going to be answering fantastic questions from the community about the whole production with this crazy zany bunch of people. It'll be tomorrow on the subreddit, the Critical Role subreddit, at 2 p.m. Pacific time. They'll be on there live answering questions, discussing all the chaos behind the scenes you guys have wanted to know about. This was, if you don't recall, a special incentive that was unlocked from our fantastic 826LA charity stream that we ran a few months back. So thank you for supporting 826, making it a fantastic charity push, and we're happy to bring you this next leg of that reward journey back to you. So check it out.

As a reminder, next week on Thursday will not be an in-canon episode, as me, Marisha, and Taliesin will be off in a dusty place, but that doesn't mean there's not going to be a game, actually. We're going to have a one-shot next week run by our fantastic Liam O'Brien. Liam, if you want to talk a little bit about what and who. Yes, sure. I, too, am dying for the Laura Bailey one-shot, but she is a baby or something, so we're going to wait a little bit longer, but it's coming. I don't want to give away too much, but I'll tell you who's playing. We have Lala, Sam, and Travis will be part of the game, and we're bringing in friends TJ Storm. Yay!

TJ! And Erika Luttrell, both great actors, fun to play with. Again, I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say that it will be focusing heavily on motherfucking werewolves. Motherfucking werewolves! Oh! So late happy birthday present to Travis Willingham. Oh my god.

Yeah. Woo! So excited. I'm glad we finally got TJ on, too. He's great. TJ, if you guys don't know, TJ Storm, look up his stuff. He's a phenomenal actor, but a great physical performance capture and motion capture actor.

I've worked with him on many video games, a lot of us have. And he's phenomenal, but he's also the kind of guy who I had no idea was a huge D&D nerd until we got in an offhand conversation years ago. He's this tall, muscular, long, drenched black dude who's just like. He's in the Karate Hall of Fame. Yeah, he is incredible and has been dungeon mastering for 20 plus years, I think.

Like he's been, he is, we've played a number of games together and he's awesome, so excited to have him on the show. I met him years ago in Japan doing mocap and on all our breaks he was just playing Civ. Civ on his PC and telling me all about D&D. This predates all our D&D. Yeah, yeah. He is DPB, Dick and the Peanut Butter.

He really likes the game. All right, then. That was another turn. I don't want to speak for you, TJ. That was smooth. I don't know. DPB? Better than Chunky.

Was this with peanut butter? There you go. Can we use that all the time, please? Dick and the Peanut Butter? Great, that's why I'm going to hear we use that all the time, please? Dick in the peanut butter? Great, that's why I'm going to hear that at home all the time. Congratulations. Oh, who's DPB? Oh god, okay.

No dick in no peanut butter! We've already lost control, we haven't even started the game. All right, last but not least, when we get into the break, we'll be having our World 1 giveaway. The giveaway will be requiring you to come over into the Critical Role chatroom, the Twitch.tv slash Critical Role. But we'll give you up to Steve when all that's happening.

I think that's it, unless we have anything else to mention. Oh, go to the store, check out shop.createrule.com. Did I get it right? You got, well. There's t-shirts and there's a bumper sticker that says something about the Traveler, and you know we all love that. Retro T, Critter Cap, Mighty Nein T,

Vox Foxtrot, Dab Cap. They know what there is, and some pins, check it out. Maybe there's pins. Maybe there's not. Maybe you should go check it out and find out. This is the worst miss. Could be anything. It's the worst ARG element of our whole show's campaign.

Go find out. It'd be a surprise if there is, tell us. That being said, let's go ahead and bring us into tonight's episode of Critical Role. សូវាប់ពីបានប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្រាប់ពីប្� Thank you. and welcome back. So, last we left off, the Mighty Nein, having completed their journey north and their two jobs for the Gentleman,

return with a new friend, a new companion, and a memory even old. You've spent two weeks in Zadash, utilizing your downtime, some to a very successful level, some in a nearly terribly not successful level, but managing to skirt by. But you've taken your time, decided on a new path, a new adventure ahead of you, loaded up your things, and

currently with your cart, horses, and selves together, you begin making your way towards the southern area of Zadash and out towards the roads ahead. This is your very last chance if there's anything you need to do in the city, or forever hold your peace. I need to pee. Roll a constitution check. Too real. We want to see the adult bookstore one more time. One more time. Roll a constitution check. Do you want to go to the adult bookstore one more time? One more time, just kidding. 21.

21? You can hold it for three more days. Okay. 20. You're just going to make a sloshing sound when you walk. Oh god. Caleb has to find new garage sales to dive through. I'm all for that.

As you guys reach the southern gates He has to find new garage sales to dive through. I fall for that. As you guys reach the southern gates to the exterior of Zadash, with the creaking of chains and the heavy as the large wood barriers slowly drift open to allow you and a few other carts outward onto the main road, you glance out onto the southern hills below you in the Marrow Valley

and you can see the faint dusting of distant snow that has begun to melt in the recent warmer days that have come. The roads themselves are slick and heavy with mud from the snow and rainfall that has managed to still seep in. You can hear the hooves

making their way through the mud as you push past the barrier. Now, last time you were here, you recall seeing the large numbers of military that had gathered, of the Righteous Brand, of which there are very few left. It looks like most have gone eastward and found their way towards the skirmishes

you continue to hear about on the borders of Xhorhas and the Ashguard Keep, or the Garrison, the gates close behind you and you begin making your way now free again in the Marrow Valley southward towards your destination of the Menagerie Coast. So first off, who is going to be guiding this first leg of the path? It is three days of travel to Alfield along the road,

so who's going to be keeping an eye out? All right, we have Caleb for that. Anybody helping Caleb? Yeah, I'll help Caleb. You got it. All right. All righty. Since we traveled this once before. Did you want to join?

Did you want to do it? No, that's fine. Let me ladies first, okay. And because I'd glossed over this last session, so Caleb, as you sit there, holding the reins to the horses in front and you're focusing ahead, your mind slips back into contemplative thought, recalling the time you had spent focusing on the Dodecahedron, remembering when you had spent

a bit of time over this two-week break studying and trying your best to understand the nature of its enchantment or history. It's a strange device to behold, for sure. It both seems refined and primal. You have no idea the source or the length of time that it's existed or what its true purpose is. But focusing onto it, once again, allowing your consciousness to slip

gently towards wherever this object draws it in. It feels like you're looking into infinite space, both within and beyond this small geometric shape. You take a moment to focus. You can sense and see light and cloud and matter and vacuum, this expanse of everything and nothing between these long stretches. You feel like there's an absence around you, but the more time you spend, the more you adjust to the space, the more your vision clarifies,

the more the darkness is not pure darkness, but a weave of millions of tiny threads all moving, faintly traveling in different directions, tugged by some unseen force independently. And you watch one thread, you pick one and focus, and you can see it pulling along. And it brightens and brightens and brightens until it reaches in that tiny little infinitesimal push.

It's a burst of light and it changes direction. And you see in that space where that burst of light and it changes direction. You see in that space where that burst of light had happened, you see seven other shadow threads begin to emerge from that point that then fade away to nothing, the thread having now curved and taken a different path, a choice, a decision made, and a different destiny

for whatever that strange thread is following. And pulling back, you can now see the thousands, tens of thousands, millions of these that all wander in their own independent, solitary directions, some crossing, some parallel, some alone. You wonder what all this means some crossing, some parallel, some alone. You wonder what all this means and what this has to do with the essence of this device,

the powers that it seems to impart, and what it is that the Kryn Dynasty has designs for. You come back into your moment on the cart as you're rocking back and forth down the pathway, hearing the hooves on the muddy, now getting drier, portions of the roadway. You glance around at your friends and shake your head for a moment

and focus once more on the road before you. Mr. Caelan. you shake your head for a moment and focus once more on the road before you. This is Mr. Caleb. That's my old joke. What you playing with over there? He seems really intent on whatever it was. Oh, I'm thinking back on it now. Yeah. Oh, I asked Jester to show you the thingy in her bag.

I ignore that. Too late, I'm already ready for it. All right. Something we picked up the first time we came to Zadash. Gotcha. Miss Jester? Yes? Apparently you picked something up in Zadash. Gotcha. Yeah, Miss Jester? Yes? Apparently you picked something up in Zadash.

I'm supposed to see the thingy in your bag? Which thingy? I don't know, Caleb is being very shifty about it. There's some really questionable thingies in here, but you can see them if you want. I'd like to see any questionable thing you may have. Okay, well, there's that. What is that?

You don't want to know. Is that even natural? Well, well, there's that. What is that? You don't want to know. Is that even natural? Well, and then there's that thingy. Caleb doesn't know about it, but he will later. And then, oh, were you talking about this? It's this box? What is this thing? Okay.

We'll inside of it. It's gone critical! Just opening up, and just let your mind go and see what you think. I'm going to meditate into the box. Okay. You focus and you're familiar. Roll a third character. You have spent a large portion of your life in various states of meditation.

The gravitational pull of whatever essence of this object is something you're familiar with and comfortable letting take over. With that, your consciousness slips seemingly beyond your physical form and into whatever dark space it seems to have drawn you towards. In this space, you begin to very quickly pick up on details similar to what Caleb had taken so long to focus on. Independently, you begin to pick up the themes and the ideas of what all these strange threads, these.

Is this place making you feel a little uncomfortable? Um, no. It's... It feels, in a weird way, like you're... We're in the rafters. Oh, it's good, it's good. Please, no. Oh, they got a burn.

It's good. I'm Oh, they have a burn. It's good, it's good. I'm just turning it down. Patrons everywhere. Shh. We're role-playing, Marisha. No. So big ol' shh.

It doesn't feel unnatural. It feels like a view behind the curtain is the best way I can describe it. But it doesn't bother you. It's a little cold and a little alien, but it doesn't feel unnatural. All right. As you pull back, you feel something comes back with you. As your consciousness refocuses, there's a slight shred of milky gray energy

that withdraws itself and then, with a warm impact, disappears into your chest. Oh. disappears into your chest. I think I have a passenger, that's interesting. Did you see the little gray ball? I did. Wasn't it weird? It was. Is he inside of you now?

He is. It is. Oh, you think it's an it, not a he? I'm trying to not make know, not make assumptions. Hurry up and stuff that thing back in a bag. Oh, that's right. People are looking for it. Good to know. I'll keep mums the word. Huh. Yeah, it's nice, right?

It's like a little post-coital feeling, kind of. I wouldn't know, but... Has everybody focused on that thing now? feeling, kind of. I wouldn't know, but... Has everybody focused on that thing now? I have. I have. I have. Have you? I should do that at some point.

Oh, you should probably experience this. It's interesting. You're not allowed to, you know. Oh, no, I wouldn't. I just want to look. You can't look at it, though, today. Why not? Because he already has it.

Tomorrow. Yeah, okay. You have so many balls inside of you already. That's true. Really. Yeah, balls deep. Lots of them. Leaving it alone. leaving it alone. I know, it's so close.

Razor's Edge. Caleb, I'd like you to roll a perception check with advantage, with a deuce as eight. Thank you for bringing it back to the material plane. Welcome back in. That is pretty good, that's an 18. 18, okay. As you progress for the first couple of days

heading south along the road, camping without issue, the beginning of the third day, when you've begun taking your camp and reassembling it, making your way back to the road. Point of order, there's also a hut now as part of the nightly routine. Oh, that's right, yeah. Which is still visible, but impenetrable.

There has not been an issue. You do wake up and notice that there have maybe been a few tracks that made their way towards your camp. Appear to be hoof-based in nature, but had wandered and circled around and made their way beyond your location, probably just something natural in the vicinity that was curious about what the strange dome was in the space where you had made camp.

But you gather your things, you make your way onto your cart, and within the better part of the next to third day's travel, right as the sun begins to set, you can see ahead what looks to be the small tree line that surrounds the now glowing windows of the town of Aufield. Okay.

Cool. Oh, back in Aufield. We need to find out. This is where Bryce lives, right? Yeah. We should check in with Bryce. Is it looking, as we are near it, is it looking a little more put back together?

As you begin to go closer, you can see, while there's still light in the sky, you can see that there are a number of building structures that have been reframed, and it looks like there is both a volunteer effort as well as a number of hired masons and volunteers that are in the process of rebuilding a lot that had been damaged or burned down

when the gnolls had originally assaulted it the last time you were here. By the time you reach the actual streets and you're making your way along the one central thoroughfare that cuts across the center of town, you can see some of the folks who are finishing up their daily work as they're losing light.

Some light up torches and continue to work and toil into the early hours of the evening. Others begin to close up, taking their ladders down, finishing for the day's work and make their way to the local tavern or homestead to make food and bed down for the evening. But as you pass by, a few folks do notice your presence, look over at the cart, and recognize you,

and just wave in your direction. Howdy. They just wave, and they seem almost nervous, excited, but both not quite sure how to act in your presence. You see one familiar halfling who had previously lost his entire inn glances over in your direction.

That is Campbell Glow? Mm-hmm. Camelotaker? He's right there, right there, right there. He points to Gryffindor. Runs up and you can see there's a lot of dust and bits of wood splinters on the shoulders and edges of the sleeves as the halfling runs up

and glances over and goes, Why, I wasn't expecting to see y'all return. Why, I just, where things are going along well, we're doing what we can. How much have you built back already? Well, we've got the basis of the bottom floor mostly restored structurally. We're going to try and fill in the walls

and then we'll head on to the second floor there. I surmise we'll probably have another four months or so before we're up in the operation room, but. Not bad, though, really. Really good progress, yeah. Well, I can lend that to most of these fine folks who've been so gracious and helping. He points to a few other people who have other left

or are in the process of packaging up their tools and materials as well. They just acknowledge and glance over. I wish I could give you a room to stay and do it free of charge, but. We don't need one. We have this magical dome that we sleep in now. It's really cool. Well, that's, well. We don't need it. We have this magical dome that we sleep in now. It's really cool.

Wow, that's, whoa. You should rent some of those out. I bet people will really like it. Magic domes. Get right on it. Shift putts. Mm. Wasn't going to say it.

Well, anyway, I don't want to take any more of your time. I just, one, sorry, you're coming through, wanted to say thank you. Hey, Thaddeus. Yeah? Is Bry in? They should be. I haven't seen them around very recently, but if you're going to find them somewhere in here,

they're probably... Broadbarn. Probably at the Broadbarn, or... Feet of Mead. Actually, Bryce would be... Candleglow? No, Candleglow was the inn that he's currently in. There's the Feet and Meats Tower, there's Cod Barn, there's Crate and Barrel.

Actually, Bryce would probably be over at the Salton Trench. The jail. Yeah, that's where they've been keeping their attention as of late. Look at you taking notes. I'm so afraid. No one else on this side of the table's going to take any. They've been keeping their attention as of late. What could you take in notes? I'm so afraid. No one else on this side of the table

is going to take any notes. No, I have, I have. There's dick pics all over the place. That's important, too. It's memory land, I see a big head of something shaped like a bowling ball. This one looks like a poo in a bathtub. It is, but that was Caleb, I think.

Yeah. I remember that. Good times. I'm finding a bunch of old dumps. It's a very good bathtub. Jokes. It's got coffee. Appreciate that. This isn't where we left, no.

This is not where we left Reginald. No, okay, never mind. Let's make our way over there. Yeah, that's a good idea. All right. Heading over to the eastern there. Yeah, that's a good idea. Heading over to the eastern side of town, you start finding the edge of the forest where the Street of Alfield comes to an end,

and the furthest building towards the forest, you've passed it before, but not spent much time in its proximity, is a dark gray stone building with dark weathered wood frame set around it, torches set exterior, and it has this simple sign that says the Assault Trench Jail. There is one Crownsguard who's leaning against the wall.

Looks like they're not asleep, but definitely not in full energy per se. Long piece of some sort of a wheat just dangling out of their mouth, they're chewing. How can I help you? Hey, we're here to see Bryce. Let me go see if they're available, I'll be right back. He looked like he didn't even remember us.

I mean, he's new. Yeah, he could be reinforcements. We really killed a whole bunch of gnolls for them. To be fair, I don't remember him. Hey, Caduceus, you should probably be aware we fought off a bunch of gnolls for them. To be fair, I don't remember him. Hey, Caduceus, you should probably be aware we fought off a bunch of gnolls when we were making our way up through here. We cut off their ears and sold them for money.

What kind of gnolls, you ask? Regular. Make a nature check. 11. 11? You've heard of gnolls, you've never seen one, you've never encountered one, but as far as your knowledge goes, they're just nasty big dog people. Yeah.

Sometimes they aren't regular, though. Sometimes they're undead ones. Irregular gnolls. Yeah. But we fought both. Irregular ones. Harder to fit in what we want to do. At this point, the guard comes back, pokes the doorway. May I ask who's asking?

Yeah, the Mighty Nein has come calling. Were we called that back then? I don't know. I don't remember. Actually, that's where you coined the name. Oh, good. Yep, that's it. All right, let me go check. Heads back in.

About a moment passes and you hear some footsteps coming and there you see coming through the doorway, Bryce, helmet off, they're still wearing their armor. They look a bit overworked, maybe not getting enough sleep, a little bit of dark circles under the eyes, but other than that, healthy. Their blonde shoulder-length hair,

a soft curl to it, is pulled up in the back and looks to be tied just to keep out of the way. As they come to the doorframe, a smile on their face. I wasn't expecting company, let alone such welcome. Naband. It's good to see you. What are you doing here? Are you working here now? I'm working wherever it's necessary.

I keep watch on here. I help the Starosta maintain general matters here with the Crownsguard, but station wherever it's necessary. We're a bit light on manpower, given the bulk of it that's required now to the eastern side of the Empire. So if we're going to commit a crime, now would be a good time, huh? Jester.

In theory, which is why I'm not sleeping as well, but it's good to see you, Jester. You too. Has it been busy, peaceful? Both. No issues here at home? None, thankfully. We took them down last week,

but it was decided that recovering some of these gnolls that you had slaughtered and as garish as it was, placing their heads as a warning on the outskirts of town prevented, for a while, any sort of incursions. Seemed to be a decent deterrent, however, the smell got a bit intense for the farmers and we decided to dispose of them. But everything seems fine.

We're far enough away from all that chaos to the east. Has everything been with you? Last I saw you were heading to Sardash. I just, and I apologize, it took a little bit with the chaos here, but I just sent a report up to the lawmaster up there. Orentha should know of your deeds soon, so. Oh.

Cool. Thank you for that, that's very kind. Did you just call us the Mighty Nein, or did you describe what we look like? I gave a brief description. I'm new. Right, what's your name? Caduceus, Caduceus Clay.

Pleasure, you're a lot shorter than the last one, they introduced me to. Bryce, Bryce Steven. That's all right. Pleasure, you're a lot shorter than the last one they Bryce, Bryce Dillon. Introduce me to. That's all right. Pleasure to meet you. You are very tall and strange. Yeah, I've noticed everybody else is very short. It's fascinating. Welcome to Alfield. Any friends of these or friends of ours?

Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Of course. Well, are you passing through? You've come to stay for a bit. Passing through. Yeah, maybe stay for the night before moving on. Well, of course, of course. We need not worry about finding lodging.

We can have that arranged. Oh, wow, thank you. We've done it before, we can do it again. Well, I have just a little bit more business to attend to and then I'll be off my shift and perhaps I'll join you for drinks. Party time. Yes.

Yes. Bargery one. Party time. Yes, yes. Party time. We'll party one. All right, just a moment. If you wouldn't mind, go ahead and let Kroot know that you've arrived at the Feed and Meet tavern, and I'll meet you there in an hour or so. Okay. All right.

It's so good to see you all. You too. I'm glad you're not in the war right now. Me too. And you watch as Bryce turns around and then comes back. This one, your other friend with the... Molly. Yeah.

Right. Molly, yeah. At this point, they can just nod their head and say no more. We've all lost our share of loved ones. This world can be a dangerous one at times. Say no more, we've all lost our share of loved ones. This world can be a dangerous one at times. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for that.

Well, come, I'll meet you soon and we'll have drinks in his honor. Yes. Then Bryce makes their way back inside the building. You guys are welcome to do anything else you prepare for, though it is starting to get into the evening hours. Based on your previous experience in Alfield, you know this is one of those towns that primarily shuts down

post-sunset. It's mostly a farming town. Look at that. This is a place where you did good. That's nice. Yeah. It's halfs and halfsies, you know? I don't know. Everywhere that I've been with you so far, people seem to be really happy to see you. It's a sign, in my opinion. This might have been the first time we did good.

I think that's right, actually. Because we kind of got a guy. Arrested? Arrested and thrown in jail for kind of the rest of his life. Yeah, but then we were helping other people, though, at the same time. So. This was the first one we made a clean, positive people, though, at the same time.

This was the first one we made a clean, positive impact, though. Animal collateral damage. Came through in the black, not for a Knaven. No IOUs or felons. Caleb, do you need to buy paper here or anything? No, I am all set. Okay, just making sure.

Let's go to the Feed and the Mead. You guys make your way to the Feed and Mead. Crute recognizes you as you enter. Nice, good to see all of you again. Welcome, please sit down. I will prepare food, I suppose, for many more than I was expecting. For Bryce, too.

They're coming. Good to know. What? I used Thermal Turgy to open all of the windows! Oh yes! All the windows slam open loudly. There's the sound of breaking glass on the far side as one of the windows is shattered from the impact.

Wind swoops in and you watch as Kroot, who's faced away, making the way to the kitchen, he stops and goes, Memories. Makes his way into the kitchen to finish the meal. An hour or so passes. A couple other folks come in. Some of them don't seem to recognize you

or didn't interface with you directly. A handful do, and they come by and offer to buy a drink. Kroot returns with some basic foods. Most everything here is everything from lightly cooked vegetables or boiled vegetables to some treated and salted meats. They don't have a wide variety of dishes here, but it is still delicious and very classic home

on the road food. Bryce eventually comes and joins you. The first time you've seen them out of their formal attire and armor, you see Bryce comes in with what looks to be a light blue, almost like a soft tunic, over goes some light brown leggings and comfortable boots, very relaxed and casual

as they sit down at the table and take what appears to be an unclaimed tankard and leans back in the chair. Well, I think we've all earned this. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. To friends here in Nott. In Nott. And Nott.

Yes, to me. Any crazy news around here, or just the normal stuff? The normal recovery, thankfully, only one and a half fields were torched in the gnoll onslaught, so it hasn't been a huge detriment to our farming schedule. Other than that, it's been the Righteous Brand passing through.

The people we rescued from that cave nearby, are they all fine? There's one of them right over there, and one of the individuals that came up and offered to buy you drinks earlier, you can see it's the older, bearded gentleman who looks to be a little, you recognize him now once it's pointed out the older, bearded gentlemen who looks to be a little, you recognize him now once it's pointed out.

Totally recognize him now. Mm-hmm. Hey! Pointing at you. I remember when you were in the midway. Told you they remembered me. I know exactly what you're talking about. They never forget a face, the Mighty Nein.

And he was really dirty. Covered in a lot of soot. Soot and dirt. Yeah, kind of. They all do if you're not paying attention. But Bryce continues on for a bit and tells you about how there's where the Ashgardgard Garrison has fallen.

I've been doing the best I can to keep my ear to the ground on things happening east. It's far enough away where no one here's worried, but I have friends in Bladegarden and who were stationed at the Rockguard, which is the other garrison, and if one's fallen, I worry for the other. But I know they're sending all their forces that way.

Wait, when did this happen? You did hear about this from one of the town criers a little over a month ago, when you were leaving on the Gentleman's Errand. Yes, I remember that. That's what led to the influx of people going out. Yeah, that's when Dairon decided to go, right? Or was she already out there? Probably, I have to look back in her notes out. That's when Dairon decided to go, right?

Or was she already out there? Probably, I have to look back in the notes again. It's okay. The time period in there, it's somewhere in that space. The trend is that it's pushing closer in. From what I've heard, they've kept it at bay and there are intents to retake the garrison, but there were well over 2,000 lives lost.

I don't know how much there is specifically to say about it, but the rumors are that the sky over that pass, over the garrison itself, lies dark as midnight throughout the day even. Whoa. They've got some serious magic stuff over there. Yeah. Is there any word from the south?

We happen to be heading that way. Oh, oh, well, that makes sense, if you're leaving Zadash. Well, in times of warfare, and I know we've been notified this via the information routes to the rest of the Crownsguard and watchmasters to keep an eye, but I do believe entrance to the Empire

is being very carefully inspected. You shouldn't have an issue leaving it, but coming back in during a time of conflict like this might take a while. Is there anything that can speed up that process? Some papers or forms or stamps? Going through the tree. I can try and write you something, but once again,

I mean, we're a bit podunk here by comparison. I can't say that those of the Wu Yun gates are going to be more partial to what I have to say, but I can try. It couldn't hurt. Do we know anyone else that's important? Here? Anywhere.

We know the Starosta here. Yeah, no, I know the Starosta here. He'd probably have some say. The Starosta here? Yes, but if I recall, the last time you spoke wasn't on the most positive terms either. I remember. Some tricks you may get one shot with. I'd be worried.

He tends to be a bit vengeful. He can give back that letter and he can give us a new letter, because you don't even want it anymore. Well, that's not true, Jester. I still have some plans for that letter. It does have his signature on it, though. So we could just forge another one. Oh, heck yeah, I'm really good at that.

I haven't heard any of this. Oh, sorry. No. Oh, keep talking, please. Just know that I've heard nothing. As they put their fingers in their ears. Now is the time to do it. There's not a lot of people here. Wait till after I leave, if you don't mind.

I just, you know, protocol. Let them enjoy their drink, please. Exactly. And a little plausible deniability doesn't hurt, either. How is the Starosta? Is he still a pain in the ass? Always, but he does good work, and you know, he's spearheaded organizing many of these reconstruction efforts

and maintaining a means of getting influxes of gold from Rexxentrum. The Crown has been very good in sending money as necessary because the Storoso has been so diligent in the connections he has. So yes, he's a prick, and he's a bit of a pain in the ass on our end, but I mean, he's not terrible at his job,

so what can I say? He's a bit at his job, so what can I say? He's a bit of a prick, and what I've heard, it's not that big of a prick. MATT and LAURA, MATT and LAURA, and LAURA, I have to work with him. Just from what I heard. I didn't see it, see it, but people talk. Jester, did you often see it?

Did I often see what what? See it, see it. Like, penises? Have you seen a lot of wieners? I've seen so many penises. Really? Yeah. What's the best penis you've ever seen?

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I still want that question answered, but he can go ahead. But just a point of clarification, we're talking voyeuristically because of your household, you mean? Yeah, like you had a peep window or something. What's it matter, even if she hadn't seen him voyeuristically? I just want to understand what we are talking about.

Like, you know, up close is different than from behind the boudoir. I mean, I've seen them mostly not when they knew that I could see them, if that's what you mean. Yeah. I'm just curious about your view. Why are you so interested in people's sex lives, Caleb? Like, why?

Actually, I'm in a low now. I want to know your favorite one you've ever seen. Yeah, what's your best dick? My best dick. If it's too hard to pick, you can do top three. Okay, honestly, I saw Molly's when we were in the bathhouse. Oh!

Was it, we must have all seen it, but how did it compare? Reminding everyone that we have all seen each other naked. Molly's was pretty good. In terms of being just giant, or just like, well-proportioned, symmetrical? Really nice, and it was a good color. Only because when I saw it last, there was a bit of a mess.

It was a little bit Egg McMuffin, if you know what I'm saying. That's right. Oh, then if you did some stuff to it. No, when it was clean, it was lovely. Traditional. Is it ash breakfast? Call that the continental. Oh lord.

DPP. You're still very prideful at the moment. Thank you. Bryce at this point goes, Well, folks, I think this is my cue to get some rest. It's been great catching up a bit with all of you. Stay safe. You as well, yes. We wish you nothing but the best.

You as well. Cheers you. Stay safe. You as well, yes. We wish you nothing but the best. You as well. Cheers again. Cheers again. And if ever you find your way near this podunk side of the Empire again, you always have a place to stay in Orfield. And heck, maybe if all of this business to the east is finished before long and I get some time off,

maybe I'll come visit you up in Sadesh. You should. It's been a while. Yes. You should come visit us up in Zadash. You should! It's been a while. Yes. You should come visit us over in the Menagerie Co. I haven't been there since I was a child. Just leave, just leave! Just leave, you posco AWOL, come with us! There's too many people here that depend on me, I can't.

Okay, you're a good person. You're such a good person. You're a good person. Yeah, but still. I appreciate that. They stand up and leave a few coins on the table. Oh no, no, no, we got this one. This one's on us. Yeah, it's on us.

Your money's no good here. I'll fucking kill you if you try to pay! Right, okay, all right. They take the coins, finish the drink, walk over to the bar, and just set them on the counter anyway. Then walk away, and like, good night. Good night. Then they walk away.

That was an escalation, Matt. I feel like one, two, and then just nine. Did we scare them away? I don't want anyone to have to, I don't want to feel like a burden on anyone, you know? Here's a question. Well, certainly not, then. Once we get to the Menagerie Coast,

I feel like I have a good sense of how not is it fitting in. What is it like for? Oh, yes. Honestly, I've never seen any goblins there. I haven't either. Well, I can wear my mask, and I got these lovely gloves. These are so creepy. What are you talking about?

They look like real fingers. Eww. It's also hot. Is it hot there? It's a bit warmer. It's warmer, it's nice. You might not want mittens, you know? Skin mittens.

I'll see how long I last and then I can. Come on, you just cook your fingers in some balsamic. It'll be great. They smell real nice when you pull them out. I don't smell good to begin with. Like a cast. Oh god! You get that cast off, you're like, you're fine while you're next to me.

Stink-o-flush. I don't think I have anything. Should we sleep here? We have to sleep here, it's nighttime. Well, all right. Didn't know if we wanted to sleep in the bubble, but you know. Oh, oh yes. A roof is good.

Let's have a roof. Don't do this. Did they say where we were going to be put up? Here. Here, yeah. Oh, where we are? We're here, we've done it. It's easy, we stumble upstairs.

Yeah, the room is already provided. Your delightfully pleasant evening purveyor of downed pillows and blankets, Kroot is ever eager to show you where you can leave him the fuck alone. But you manage to find your rooms and rest for the evening. The following morning, you gather your things.

The cart has been taken care of. Today, just before we went to sleep, sent a message to my mama, letting her know we might be passing through. Indeed you can. Okay. All right. In the morning, breakfast is provided for you. There are a few folks that are in here

finishing their breakfast before going out into the fields, going about the daily business, and as you descend to your breakfast meal, you watch half of them just go quiet as they all watch you, and throughout the rest of the meal, they just lock eyes in a very, I don't know how Throughout the rest of the meal, they lock eyes in a very, I don't know how to act kind of a way, but not in a bad way.

Pardon, some of you especially are used to being the person that walks into a room and being stared at, but the energy is different here. There's definitely more of a reverence. It's a nice change of pace. Morgan. What did you say, Morgan? It's Zemnian for good morning.

Morgen. Yeah, Morgen. How do I say, I would like some pastries, please? Liam does not know. It's too complicated to teach, the accent is very difficult. Some of the Zemnian critters out there will tweet you the pronunciation.

Laugh and grove and leaner. That's actually kind of close. Kind of close, yeah. That's kind of close. It's that whole leaner thing. Question. Yes. What was the name of the town that Gustav is stuck at? Trostenwald, it's the next one on your trip.

It's the next one. It's the final town to the south.av is stuck at? Trostenwald, it's the next one on your trip. It's the next one. It's the final town to the south. That's where I stole mail. Okay, I was going to say, if you were in. Yes. Cool, do you guys want to stop in down in Trostenwald on our way?

On our way. You know, we have a little bit more money now. Maybe we could help Gustav out a little bit. Kind of the last good thing we could do. Also, just the nostalgia factor of seeing where we all got hitched. I'm sure he would also like to know about Molly. Right.

That's a good point. We should make a stop. You know, I never really thought about the fact that when you're with someone, when they die, it's your responsibility for forever to tell anyone who doesn't know what happened. Yep, never goes away. That kind of sucks.

So let's keep sharing bad news. Yeah. Well, hey, after we pass Trostenwal, we'll get a break from that shit for a while. That's true. It's really pretty. Have you ever been out of Empire? No. Further south I've been, I think it's Trostenwal. Same.

Yeah. The water is really blue. I think you guys will like it. Yes, not even you guys will like it. Yes, not even you. Mm-hmm. No, no thanks. We could continue your swimming lessons.

It's really blue, and it smells like fish. And salt. That's nice. Really nice. Like fish. Salt on the wind, amazing. All right, let's go see it. This sounds exciting. All right, as you guys gather your things back up into the cart, it's been brought around front.

You get your horses ready for the next leg of your journey. If you want to collect feed for the horses along the way, since you've been traveling for a few days, someone wants to mark off, let's say, another gold worth of feed. I will pay for that. No, no, Caleb, save your gold for paper. It's already happened.

Or incense. I'm good, I'm stocked up, I am plush, I have more coin in my pocket than I ever could have imagined, and I have already spent most of what we made. All right. Want some more? No.

Just a little mad money or anything? No, it's worth more. No, I'm good. All right, continuing south. Caleb, are you maintaining your position on the cart? Yeah. Okay. I'll give my position up to Caduceus. Or Jester, either one. I'll ride with Caduceus.

All right. I'll help you. Yeah, I'll be fine. Oh, you two take it then. Yeah. Yep. All right, so Caleb takes a break at the back as Caduceus makes his way to the front of the cart, grabs the reins, Jester, you go ahead and hop alongside. You eventually turn your way heading westward.

I've never done this before. You're good with animals, though. Oh yeah, no, you just got to ask permission before you do anything. Which you can do. Oh yeah. I ask permission to any animal I interact with, anything I eat, there's always a conversation. You ask permission to ride the horse?

Yeah, I say we're going to be, well, I explain to the horse that we're going to be moving south, and I really appreciate their cooperation in the process and how long we expect to be going for. Out loud, you do this? Yeah. Just checking, I didn't know if you had some mumbo jumbo.

Can you do it without, I mean, can you talk without talking? Is that a thing you can do? I don't think so. Am I talking? I can hear you, but your lips aren't moving. This is... Nope, nope, it your lips aren't moving. No! This is... Nope, nope, it's not working for me.

Nope. It'd probably take ten minutes actually trying to do that while we get going. Okay, but you go ahead and ask permission of the horses. And whatchers Caduceus comes and quietly talks to each of the horses, and it seems ridiculous at first, but as he finishes talking to the horse, the horse nudges alongside him and gives a hoof clomp on the ground. Seven-foot Bob Ross, I love it.

Manners will get you everywhere. Manners. With that, Caduceus gets up onto the cart next to Jester, pulls in the reins, and with that, you guys begin to make your exit from Alfield a second time. Like a little star, I wonder what you are.

Oh my god! That's some black magic right there. I do that for way too long on the road. Sacrifice Ronan to be able to do that. That's really impressive. You sound like a kid that fell down the well when you're doing that. I don't know if you could just not do that,

or have you always been able to do that, and then just Ronan's your eventual payment of the contract. Ooh, I's boring. Exactly. So as you guys are exiting Alfield, a few more folks come out to the street to just watch you leave. Some faces familiar, a child, a woman,

people that you recognize as individuals you had helped make their way out of the mines long ago. You see them wave and they all say, goodbye, goodbye. The kid quietly raises a hand, smiling, too shy to say anything. With that, you make your way past the final buildings out of Alfield and back onto the road south.

Oh man, we saved their lives. That's pretty cool. We're awesome. Two days travel to Trostenwald from Alfield. So which one of you wants to helm the first watch? I'll take first watch. All right, so go ahead and roll with advantage on your perception check, please. All right.

Yeah. Whoa! Yeah, nothing gets by me. Unless I, well, no, that's a natural 20, so that's fine. Oh! I'm going to say that's my help. Oh yeah. You're just pointing at things. Got it, got it, got it, got it. Yep, yep, got that. Yep, got that.

All right. Where? Towards the end of the first day's travel, around what would be roughly 5, 5 30 in the afternoon, as you're keeping an eye out, you glance over what looks to be, and you don't see anything, but you're looking at the wall, the first day's travel, around roughly 5, 5 30 in the afternoon, as you're keeping an eye out, you glance over what looks to be,

and you do find a few clusters of stone and rock that break up the rolling hills and tall grass that make up a large part of the southern part of the Marrow Valley that you're used to. You, who come from a very northern, borderline tundra north of the Savalirwood. It's tundra. Except for my little patch.

Yeah, Taiga and places. You can see this very green and open field is a whole new experience to you, and you're enjoying the details of it as you pass by. The field mice that occasionally scurry across the road and get snatched up by a hawk, and you're like, yep, that's how it happens. Shit. Fair play.

Fair play. Miracle crossing the path. As you're glancing about, you can see a lot of these natural stones placed, and you see one cluster of stones that just, that doesn't look naturally placed. They're leaned at an odd angle. If it had been placed, or if it had been at that angle

for a while, it would have eventually settled. That doesn't look right. What doesn't? Oh, that. The field. Now, if I were inclined to be a trap or an ambush of some kind, or those rocks shouldn't be that way,

that's all I'm saying. As you glance over, you can see what looks to be three stones. One of them's about this big, it's a pretty heavy stone, and two longer slab stones, and they're all leaned against each other to look natural, but Caduceus doesn't seem to feel that way. Maybe somebody is sitting in the little alcove.

It's giving me the bad feelings. Should we go attack it? The rocks? I don't know. I mean, I'm okay if you are. Do you want to like? Never had a rock really hit back. I hop off the cart and like,

how far away is it? It's about, from where you are now, as you've traveled closer, it's about 80 to 100 feet to the left off the road. I'm going to throw a little rock as hard as I can towards it. Make a strength check. Please be a good, stanky gent.

This looks a little weird to me. It's my mime. 11. 11, it arcs. Falls about 10 feet short in the grass. I'm going to use Thaumagurtry to cast my voice very loudly behind the other side of the rocks. Thaumagurtry, it just got stuck in there. Thaumagurtry.

Thaumagurtry. I'm going to use my thaumaturgy. Thaumagurtry. Okay. Okay, so as part of thaumaturgy, you can't throw your voice so much as you can just amplify the volume. So I can't throw my voice?

I'll say you can throw it a little bit. It's not like you can't flank it per se, but you can give it a little more of a force from one side, I'll say. I can do tremors in the ground. Yeah, sure. So I'm going to just start tremoring the ground right over by those rocks.

Oh, there it is. Okay. Which shakes a bit and you can see some bits of loose rock on top of this weird stone construct begin to vibrate, fall off the side. No reaction. Maybe somebody's buried there. I poke my head between them. What are you doing? What's going on?

Those rocks look a little weird. The rocks look weird? He's looking at weird rocks. It means the rocks look weird. You giving me a bad feeling? You're giving me a bad feeling. I don't have a lot of bad feelings. Let's go check it out. All right. They're a trail marker.

Maybe, it's an awfully suspicious trail marker. If it was a trail marker, it would be like, you usually stack three stones, make it look very intentional. This is someone, have you ever seen a painting where someone tries to paint stars, but the stars don't look right because of the wrong kind of random?

Yes. That's the wrong kind of random. I sent Frumpkin to go look at the rocks. It's like a secret entrance to something. The rest of you keep looking at this pile of stones, and it just looks like a pile of stones. You're like, really? So Frumpkin's heading up.

Yeah, yeah. Frumpkin gets low through the grass. The random nature makes it, the random the man makes it. Go ahead and make a perception check for Frumpkin. Yeah. 10. 10. Frumpkin does a little pass around the side

and there doesn't appear to be anybody in or around them, from what Frumpkin can see. All right, let's go take a look then. Let's go knock them over. Can he climb to the tippy top? Sure. Frumpkin leaps onto the top and perches up there. I'm looking down at us.

All right, it's a strange view to see yourself walking towards yourself. It's like a third, it's like playing a Resident Evil one. Yeah. Where you just have the locked camera. That's, that's, that's, Turn around, turn around, turn around! That's, that's, that's technically

how Shakasta sees the world, I mean, think about it. It's all of existence through a series of Resident Evil camera angles. The Duchess, man. That makes through a series of Resident Evil camera angles. The Dutch has been. That makes me a little sad on the fundamental level. Well, he can turn a lot better. Getting in between the two angles and having to go back and forth.

No, just left, right, left, right, aw! Yeah. Anyway. I'm going to do K turns as a person as rough. Yep. So you all slowly approach this strange pile of rocks settled here. Trees above us, or are we kind of?

It's an open field. There are some trees maybe 300, 400 feet off, and this part of the field, they're small clusters, four or five at a time. It's mostly just open, rolling hills. Are we close near where the gnoll mine was? No, you're a days away. That was east of the city. You guys are heading south.

Do you see how tall the rocks are? Altogether, probably about four feet tall. It looked like there was anything buried, like anything digging done here or anything? Make an investigation check if you want to. I will do this in a year. 20. 20. As you get down right. 20. 20.

As you get down inside, like. Sorry, 25. Okay, 25. As you get down to the stones, there's the one larger central stone and the two ones laid against it. There's a very small space in between there and you get inside and begin to look around the ground

and you feel down and there's nothing. It's mainly just dirt and dry brush and dead grass that has been pushed in that center piece and you reach up and your hand touches something. Treasure, treasure, treasure. It feels like a satchel or a leather sack. Oh, what do you have? That's a bingo.

Do you need me to come? It's just bingo, Caleb. Is it? Did you find some paper? Do you need me to touch it to disarm it? Hold on, I sent a frumpkin just to get down by my hand to lock up so I can look at what I'm grabbing to make sure that it is not, you know, one of those bags with teeth or something

that I've read about in fairy tale stories. Oh, we found a few of those bags. So, so, so. What are you doing? One moment. Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, so, so. What are you doing? One moment. Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. What did you find, Caleb? Some loot, maybe. Pull it out.

What if it's a trap? No, first Frumpkin goes to look so I can see what I'm seeing. Why don't you let Nott look? Frumpkin crawls inside and looks up and it appears like there is indeed a leather pouch, roughly about the size of a baseball, that has been jammed up between the rocks

to the point where it's being held up underneath out of sight. Is there poop in it? Pull it out, see what we got. I don't like all these euphemisms. I pull the bag out. Okay, as you pull the bag out from the rock, it comes free. Yay! I get to pick it out, I rock, it comes free. Yay!

Good for you. I like it. Textbook. Open it up. Now you die. Yeah. As you open the bag, it's fine. It's you.

Too many, too many, two times. I don't know, let me have my little fun. Here we go. You open inside and you already hear what sounds like the impact of a bunch of tiny stones as you look inside. Let me have my little fun. You open inside and you already hear what sounds like the impact of a bunch of tiny stones as you look inside. There are gems in here. It is a collection of cut jewels.

Diamonds? Are there diamonds? It's mostly emerald and ruby. Oh! But there's a lot of them and they're just jammed up in here. You get the sense immediately that this was some sort of a drop spot. Yeah.

Someone will probably be coming by to try and pick this up. Somebody's going to be so pissed! Somebody's going to be so pissed! Caleb takes the bag and he puts it in Jester's hand and Jester starts to quietly dance around. Oh, fuck. We got lots of jewels here.

They are so pretty. We're just. Who knows, who knows? We should get in the carts and drive away really fast. Yeah. That's fine, but can we just, give me a second. We should make sure there's no tracks. We clear all the tracks away.

I'm going to empty the jewels out. And. Oh. So there's none in that bag. Yeah. Yeah. Let's replace them with other rocks. Yeah, let's put them in. Yeah. If somebody left jewels for somebody else to pick up

and it's full of rocks, you might get that person killed. Yeah, but it's not us. Let's put a bunch of rocks in it. It's fine, they're not going to die. We're not all good yet. We're trying to do good, but we're not, it's not like a, it is gray in the middle. And they'll probably open the bag before they deliver it, you know, and then they'll, it's not like a, it is gray in the middle. And they'll probably open the bag

before they deliver it, you know, and then, and then they'll see it's rocks. One gem and say, this is a six-foot-tall stack of paper. We are taking them. Oh yeah, okay. Rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks, rocks. Okay, so you fill the small leather sack with rocks. And one little piece of dried poo

that I found that was like an animal's. Okay. Did you find it in your pants? You got to know where to look. The nose, nose. Should we leave a note throwing them off our track? Like, oh, you know, who took this? The fuck you, love the Iron Shepherds,

or something like that. You thought you were getting jewels, but you're just getting rocks and shit. And poop, dried poop. Yeah, I'll ride that. Love the Iron Shepherd. You thought you were getting jewels. While everybody's arguing,

I'm going to sit down and detect magic with a... Dumb-a-dumb. Ooh, the bomb box. That's when I feel like we should be doing that. Okay. What are you doing as a ritual? Just detecting the jewel. And that's a 10 minute casting time to cast this ritual?

Okay. Yeah. Ooh, I don't know where it's at. I'm going to start going around and trying to I put the bag back on. I'm going to keep my eyes out. Mess up our tracks, maybe leave a few deeper footprints walking the other way. Make a survival check.

Oh boy. 19, naturally. Nice, and what's the, I believe it's a wisdom? Plus zero. Okay. I'm better with other things. That's true, yeah, it's not charisma, thankfully. All right, so you feel pretty confident

that you've managed to erase most any sign of any tampering or movement by human beings or adjacent entities. What are you trying to do, Jester? Hmm? There's someone over here who's trying to do something. Oh, ritual casting to take magic, but that's 10 minutes of stopwatch. I'm walking backwards to the cart.

We're keeping an eye out for anything else happening. I'm getting back into the- We're going to do that ritual on the cart as we drive away. Perception check. Perception check, Beau. Busy. He's focusing. 21.

Okay. Eight. Okay. Keeping an eye out there, it doesn't appear that there's any immediate sign of anyone approaching. By the time you finish completing the ritual, you do a quick pass over. There are many, many magical auras around you, but they're your friends.

The various objects they're wearing and equipped light up, but there's nothing beyond expected. Okay, we're good, this place is clear, let's get the hell out of here. Okay, let's go. All right, you guys jog back to the cart, get up inside, and start making your way south along the trail again with,

if you so must, I write it down, approximately 500 gold worth of gems. Somebody has to write it down. Rubies and em of gems. Somebody has to write it down. Ruby's and emeralds. Who takes this stuff? Because of a really high perception check on Caduceus' end. My notebook, I don't know what happened to it when we moved, so that's why I can't take notes anymore.

Why did we let you? So many dicks lost to the move, oh no. I lost mine. We got 500 gold worth of gems. I lost all my dicks. Where's our rubies and emeralds? Our group inventory, though, is non-existent right now. I'll find the notebook somewhere.

Oh boy. Don't worry. I got all the weapons we picked up in the big... Can you just be in charge again? Go, you're fired. You want me to be in charge of money? I'll be in charge of the money. That's exciting.

That's the way to do it. It reminds me of Caduceus. This is very nice. It's a unicorn. Ashley gave this to me. Very nice a way to do it. It reminds me of Caduceus. This is very nice. It's a unicorn. Ashley gave this to me. Very nice. I like that. All right.

I think his last name was probably Skedaddle. Skedaddle. Make your way south along the trail. You have one more days of travel before you get to Trostamwold. Caduceus, are you still leading? Yeah, yeah, I'm feeling good. Go ahead and roll one more perception check.

I'll help him. Oh, thank you. Find another geocache. Come on. 23, thank you. Find another geocache. Come on. 23. All right. As you guys are heading southward on the second day, Caduceus, you notice coming up over one of the hills

what appears to be a single horse with a single rider moving at a very quick speed. Behind us or ahead of us? Heading towards your direction, heading northward. That looks like somebody on the run. This looks like somebody that's going to pick up some jewels. Ooh, yeah, maybe that's the guy. Yeah. Everybody look casual.

Wait, no, we're inside an invisible, we're in the Convisor. I'm going to change my appearance. Okay, to just a grungy human with shaggy hair. Oh, I see him do that, I do the same thing. So Kaelin. He's invisible. A little orange goat, a long orange goat,

like a puffy red beard and scruffy long red hair. I make myself look like a young human girl with lots of freckles and big poofy red hair. We kind of look related then. Yeah. And the two here at the front of the cart? Everyone else is probably in there? We're hiding in the invisible cart. Okay, so you guys have kind of look related then. Yeah. Okay. The two here at the front of the cart? Yeah. Everyone else? We're hiding in the invisible cart.

Okay, so you guys have kind of drilled a hole. That's how it works, right? Everyone in the bed is? Everyone in the bed is not visible. They are held behind the illusion. He's driving the cart. Change! Oh, really? Yeah.

I jump in the invisible cart. Okay. All right. As the rest of you head back into the illusion, you continue moseying forward in the cart and you hear the hooves getting louder and closer. And as they go screaming by you at the side, there's that moment where time seems to slow as you see that individual, their face mostly covered

by what looks like a dark red or purple bit of cloth, like a face mask, a hood that is up and slipping back, and you can see a little bit of what looks like tussled black hair with a little bit of salt and pepper on the sides, a large cloak underneath with what looks to be a cloth mantle over that's also just blowing behind slowly. Darkly dressed like a highwayman that is in the process of trying to get somewhere quickly, whether it be with a delivery or trying to meet up with somebody. But in that moment, you watch the and just glance out the side of their eye

at the two of you in the cart, and then just race off, not slowing, not stopping. Dark salt and pepper hair? Yeah, it was Travis. I put Travis in the game. You couldn't see how long his hair was underneath the? No, the hood was just starting to come back from just the game. You could see how long his hair was underneath the... No, the hood was just starting to come back from just the wind.

See, as they're riding, trying to keep it down. Pale skin? No, from what you can see and a little bit of the face that was showing on the eyes, it looked like it had been fairly tanned, probably from sun and just a lot of travel out in the open. But you just saw as they took one quick but very, very detailed glance towards the two of you

and then screamed on ahead northward past the cart. You are very quick. Yeah. We do okay. Yeah. All right, and you continue southward. For the better part of the next day, you eventually can see, as you come around one bend

where some of the larger hills are beginning to weave around the road as it begins to curve left and right. You can see in the distance a number of birds are starting to fly in larger flocks and encircling what now reveals itself to be the familiar site of the Ustalok below. You can see ahead of you the city of Trostenwald where a lot of your crazy adventures together began.

As it begins to, it's not quite dusk, you're about two hours from dusk, Wiesenwald, where a lot of your crazy adventures together began. As it begins to, it's not quite dusk, you're about two hours from dusk, but you begin to make your way down towards the city itself. It's as busy and lazy as you remember. As you reach the outer streets of the township, there are people coming up and down the various streets with carts and wares.

You can see folks that are passing through, hopefully on some sort of a trade route. Some folks that look like they're stuck here. There's a lot of carts that are built up on the outside that are either waiting for some sort of sign to continue travel or still packing up before they leave for whatever their next destination may be. What would you like to do?

If anything. Are we stopping here? We got to stop for the night, right? Probably. But wait, do people hate us here? I've forgotten. No, no, no. I don't think they do.

We got a stern warning as we left. But we could go see Gustaf. Yeah, why don't we stop by the Nestled Nook? Yeah, if it's easy. We heard a stern warning as we left. But we could go see Gustaf? Yeah, why don't we stop by the Nestled Nook? Yeah, if it's easy. See who's there. All right, you guys make your way to the Nestled Nook. You come upon the familiar tavern,

and entering inside, you can see the familiar face of Yorda, the older woman who runs the tavern and glances up from wiping off a table in the far corner before her eyes peer over towards you from her tussled blonde hair. Oh, hello there. Some familiar faces it's been some time. Welcome.

Ah, well, do sit down. Drinks round? What are you asking for? We're in Trostenwald, right? You have a trust here, is what you do. Trosten, maybe, all right, but you're in trust. There's quite a few Trostenwalds. Von Brandt for me, please!

Von Brandt it is. Same for me. All right, table of Von Brandts. Milk for me, please. Milk for that one, of course, of course. All right, that'll be, I'll be right back. Yorda makes her way to go fulfill the rest of your order. You guys take a while here to just rest in for a bit. You see Adelyn, who's the other barmaid

that's helping with the tavern, the process of going around and fulfilling the few orders that she has to at this hour. Calus, the clerk, the young man, the reedy-looking young man is in the back currently just going through paperwork and trying to keep tabs on a number of ledgers and business elements.

The evening is yours. Do you wish to do anything, or are you just going to bed down for the evening and continue the following day? I flag down Adla. Adolin? Adolin. All right.

Adolin. Adolin. Adolin. Adolin. Adolin. Adolinalyn. All right. Adalyn. Adalyn. Adalyn, sure. Adalyn makes her way to your table. Damn it! Hello? You looking for something? Yeah, I was curious if you've seen Gustav around.

Tall, thin, elvish-looking man. Was he not in jail? I think he's in jail, isn't he? I'm sorry, I don't think I know Gustav. I thought he was working off his debt. You're right. I thought he was, right? Maybe they keep him in jail.

I mean, he was working off his debt. You don't know the specific circumstances of it. Interesting. All right, thanks. Of course, sorry. Would you like anything else? Another round of drinks. Right away. Could I have some chocolate and some milk?

I'll see what we have in the back. Adalind comes off and does return with milk and what looks to be, it's a little old, it's starting to get some of that white powder fringe to the chocolate,, it's starting to get some of that white powder fringe to the chocolate, but it's functional. Yeah, I heat it up and I put it in my milk. I'm glad to see your prickly demeanor is still in shape.

Chocolate milk. Oh. Well, I didn't have you around for a little bit, keeping me in check. Yeah, that's true. I tried to do okay, though. I think I did all right. Did I do okay, Caleb?

I wasn't paying attention. Never mind to do okay, though. I think I did all right. Did I do okay, Caleb? I wasn't paying attention. Never mind. Could I get a bowl, please? A bowl? A bowl is retrieved for you quite easily. As Yorda throws on the table, would you like something in the bowl, dear? Oh, I was going to borrow from a friend,

but yeah, I will take a little bit of milk in it, please. Milk it'll be. She goes and returns with a bowl about half filled with milk. I put it on the floor and I snap him into existence. There you go, buddy. Does he have to eat? Yeah, I was going to ask. No.

But he likes it. Oh yeah. I understand that. You look down at the table in front of him, just sitting at the bowl, going. He's like, he really likes it. Oh, boy. You know, with cats, it's really, all of their emotions are your emotions

projected on them anyway, so that's how it works with cats. It is. They feel nothing. Hainfully true in my case. Yeah. You too. And I tell Frumpkin to start drinking milk. Just a little bit.

Put some fat on those fey bones of yours. As Frumpkin begrudgingly, at the command of his master, enjoys a bowl of milk. You can't win! Please, send me your emails for abusing my fey, your magical cat. Fey magical cat. It's fine, I mean, Frumpkin can drink milk,

Frumpkin just has no need for it. Yeah, it's like Vax near the end. It's a placebo for the master. It's like, if it makes the master happy, I'll drink this milk for you. Yeah, like Vax near the end. Yeah, exactly. And you get the sense, too, that the entire time that Frumpkin is drinking from this bowl,

Frumpkin is making direct eye contact with Caleb, like, Oh, this sandwich is so good, mm. Should we try this stuff? Should we try to see Gustav tonight? Tonight, is it? Yeah, why not? Right now, it's about dusk. By the time you've come in the city, you've come to the inn, you've gotten food and drinks,

and you've settled for it,. It's about dusk now. Sure. All right, but before we go over there, are we going to plunk down 2,000 gold to get this near stranger out of debt? No. I don't think we have that. Do we want to do a little?

We all do if we pitch in together, I'm sure. I don't think that's true, but we could do a token. I have almost that much. You have almost that much? Holy moly. I'm not counting the $500. Yeah, I remember. You have so much money. I never pay for anything.

Yeah. You guys have bought everything for Nott. That's great. Did you want to bail him out? Heavens no. You're bailing him out tonight? No, I didn't say that. That's so generous, Nott.

I feel like you're putting words in my mouth. I feel like we should just carry you through the town, crying out, Gustav's release, paid by this sweet little girl. So generous. Really? I'm just going to get down on my knees and start licking the milk out of you. Strumkin side-eyes you while you both

drink the milk together. You should put some chocolate in that, it's better. Great for cats. We can go in the morning, it doesn't matter. No, let's go now. Let's go now. Maybe we can wheel and deal with them, pay a lump sum now and consider it debt repaid, time served.

And if not, I feel like we should keep a certain amount for ourselves, for our travels, but we could leave a token sum to help him on the way. All right. Okay. So where are you guys heading? To the jail or wherever. That's the Stockade.

The Stockade here is where you had previously had. So you make your way. To Lawmaster Norda. Yep. I don't remember that, Norda and Yorda. That's right. Yep, just the fuck with you. Disgusting.

All right, so you guys make your way to the Stockade, and it takes a brief intro to the Crownscart outside before you are brought back in. One of them recognizes you from your previous encounter a few months back and brings you to Norda's office, a familiar place you've been. Norda, you can see the dwarven woman with a very tense and tired

and overt expression on her face glances up at you all. All right, so it's been a bit. Hi. Well, the good news is nothing else died since you've come back. That's positive. Excellent news. Very glad to hear that.

When are you leaving? Oh. Soon. Boy. Great news, that's wonderful. In the morning? Not everyone likes us. Why are you in my office, said they sat him up. I'm just trying to achieve one thing

and that was hopefully to get some eyes on our good friend Gustav, if we could. You want to see Gustav? If that is permissible, yeah. Fine. She gets up from behind the desk and goes and reaches into this cubby and pulls out a ring of keys and, Follow me! Leads you back down into the familiar stair down below to a cell where a couple of you

have been held before. There you can see on the far end, there is a cell, and within this dark subterranean interior where the faint burning torchlight gives this ominous red-orange flicker to the normally shaded interior, you see there, slumped against the wall, enjoying a bowl of some sort of gray, mushy substance, a not abused and filthy, but a little rough around the edges Gustav.

Not chained, not shackled, and there's a chair and there is a bed. This is probably the nicer, you can see of the jail cells here, which are designed to just be abysmal, this one, some pains have been made to make it a little more comfortable. Extended. Roughly how long has it been since we were here?

Roughly about two and a half months, yeah. How time flies. Estimate. Maybe a little longer. I'm sure Kurt will roll stats and let me know. But you see the prostitute in the north of town, it's like, hey, Gustaf, you've got visitors. He clinks the keys against the bars.

Yeah. Oh, sorry. It's embarrassing. Finishes his spoonful, sets it down. Oh my, my, my, I was not expecting this at all. You can see the lanky elvish gentleman, his hair pushed back, a bit greasy, a bit of dirt on the edges of the face,

wearing the same nice long coat that you remember him wearing when you last saw him off. Looks like he's been doing some hard work. Probably a little thinner than even his previously thin form was, but he's there. He approaches the edge of the bars. Well, by what might I have the pleasure of you all coming to see me?

Well, pleasure. You know, we meant to return sooner, but we've been a bit held up. That's all right, I myself have as well, don't worry. About that, we're not staying in town, we are leaving in the morning, actually, but. Hey, do you like it in this jail cell?

Maybe it's really comfortable, huh? It's not preferable by any means, but it certainly beats going in here against my will. How much, if it's not too presumptuous, how much do you have left to work off? Oh, at the rate we've been going? He looks over towards Nordan, and we're just like, if he keeps working as hard as he has been,

he's looking at another seven, eight months, maybe. What about a renumeration, an amount? What is left for him to work on? I have to go look at the books, but I can go check. Yeah. What, are you going to pay him off? Um. Part of it at the very least.

Maybe a little something towards it, if we could. Gustav at this point leans forward and goes, You are all very sweet and I greatly appreciate it, but this is my debt to pay, not yours. Yeah, could you go look up that number for us, please? Norda, you two keep an eye. The two Crownsguard approach and just get a bit closer while Norda heads back upstairs,

Gustav still pressed against the bars, his head peeking through the two sides, bit of strangly hairs falling in front of his face. Norda, I'm completely serious. This is my burden, I chose it. You've all done good work here. Caleb, I lived it, so I remember, but for Caduceus, can you remind me

why Gustav was locked up again? Well, you see Caduceus. The circus and the fucking devil town. He was the town that we all met. He was responsible for the circus, that's all he just took responsibility for. But that wasn't, how would he know? This is an innocent man.

Exactly. He didn't do anything bad, right? I would love to have just an inside check from Caduceus. Make an inside check. Yeah. I want to know what's going on in there. That's a 27.

27? I rolled it real well today. Oh. Roll a die. Is there a one in there? Why would I say what? Werewolves, next week, Travis Willingham living his best life. Herewolves?

They're wolves. Werewolves. Everywhere. Whywolves. Yep. Too many. Too many. It's going to be great. You're all going to grow facial hair for next week, right? Yeah, I'm going to wear a mustache. Cool.

But sincerely, I'm very appreciative, each and every one of you. It's maybe a little bit for you, but also for a friend. For, I'm not good at this. Does someone want to? I can do this, if you like. I don't know. No, I am. I don't have to know. No. Your friend and ours, Mollymauk,

is no longer of this world, and this would be a way of us saying, putting his legacy at peace. Well. If we can afford it. No promises. It depends on how much is left. We don't have a ton of money. I'm just musing on

how we found him and how we left him. Which was? A brief star burning very bright, but twice as short. No, when we found him outside of the Forest of North, he had no memory, no voice, no words. He was basically a vegetable. But over time, he came back to his senses and... Yeah.

It's a shame. Yeah, we were fond of him, and he was fond of you, so. Well. That's the dangers of the world we live in, I suppose. I know you've taken this burden on yourselves, but I think we would all feel a bit better if you would just accept this as a small thank you for then and now as well. It's more than a thank you.

I feel that you have to be free so that you can finally pay your debt. This is me paying my debt? No, this is you hiding from your debt. You're a man who is afraid of what you owe. I understand. That's okay. It'll feel so much better when you're finally

freed from this. Don't know who you are, friend, but you've stepped into a space where you have no knowledge, and trust me, this is my debt to pay. This is my responsibility. This is not your debt. Your debt lies elsewhere. I know these things. Caduceus. Yeah.

What the hell? Maybe make some tea and shut the fuck up for a second. Anyway, I should finish my meal. You'll be your last one in here. He goes over and grabs the bowl and quietly, while looking at Caduceus, begins to eat his gray mush. Caduceus, can you tell the future?

No. Can you tell the past? I just know a guilty man when I see one. Is he a guilty one? Are we out of earshot? Is he a bad guy? You can move out of earshot. Yeah, let's all group shuffle out of earshot. You bump into the Crownsguard behind you. Oh, excuse me.

What was that? Where did that come from? He doesn't want to leave. He looks really happy in here, right? He's not even happy, he's hiding in here. Well, then maybe we should leave him in here if he feels unsafe on the outside. It's not that he feels unsafe. You can just see it's all over his face. I can't, it just looks like a dude.

You could tell that just from looking at him? I could tell a lot from people just by looking at them. What do you think when you look at me? Yeah. That's an entire conversation for later. Okay. Caduceus, how will Fjord, how and when will Fjord die? In a terrible crash.

Yeah, so back to the situation. Back to the situation. At hand. You are suggesting we continue doing what we're doing? I want to see. I think this is a man who needs to be free so that he can be at peace with himself. And where are you getting all of this insight?

He's praying. Why would you not want to, why would you want to be? Insight. Why would you want to be in a cell? Why would you want to stay there? Someone's offering you freedom for nothing. We've been in the cell, it's not fun. He's putting on, there's so much there, he's hiding.

I'm not arguing, you know, prison politics, I agree with you, I just feel like there's a supernatural situation going on here that you're not necessarily telling us. I just know, I just. At this point, Norda returns, shuffling back down with what looks like a small leather-bound journal or book of some kind.

He goes, all right, looking at this one, keeping tabs on what he's able to make, the reparations he's made, the amounts of money he was able to have brought in from friends to help pay the debts. We're still sitting at about roughly 2,100 gold pieces. I thought it was 2,000 to start!

It was 2,000 to start! 2,645. I will throw some money at this. I don't have any money to throw at this. I don't have much money to throw at this. Well, I guess I have a little money to throw at this. If we put all of our money together, how much would it be?

Would there be a buyout cost if we wanted to just pay it? Is that just the straight, or could there be some sort of deal? Are you asking? Yeah. I was like, a buyout? I weirdly, and I don't know, you've spent more time with him, but he strikes me as a man who's weirdly happier in jail right now than he would be out of it.

He's fucking weird, I'll tell you that. I think he needs to face some stuff. It would be really, I think, healthy for everyone involved. Make a persuasion check. One tall magical cow. That's 12. This got weird so quickly. Tell you what, you go ahead and

toss down about 1,700 right now. I'll kick his ass out. I'll put 400 gold down right now. Whoa. I can put 50 gold down right now. Whoa. I can put 50 gold in. No, save your 50 gold. Gustav has come back to the bars and is like, You all are being absurdly generous,

and this is not necessary at all. I mean it, I mean it. I can put down 1,000. Gold? We're at 14, we need three more. I will put in 100 gold. She wanted to do 1,700? We're at 15 now.

I'll do 100. I throw in 165, that's Molly's. But also, hang on, but also, hang on, before though, before we do all this, listen, Norda, I know we caused a lot of a headache for you when all this was going down. You were one of many.

There's at least at any given point in time, like, 17 headaches in here. There you go. So yeah, that's one of them. So we're simply trying to take one more headache off of your list of a lot of headaches. We're trying to do a good thing. A man in jail doesn't do anything for your city, but I bet 1,500 right now would.

Don't have to empty the bedpans, change the sheets. Don't feed him. The crownsguard to the left of you goes, You should listen to her. Those bedpans are pretty terrible. Think of what you can do for this town with 1,500 gold right now, because let me tell you, we can't give you that 1,700.

So we either walk and you're stuck with a prisoner for another nine months, or you take the 1500. Make one last persuasion check to beat a higher DC. Is this the best charismatic fucking half-orc? What do you say to his sister? Oh, what I just said. Yeah.

Listen to Beau, she knows the skull. Interpretive things. She has hands. You watch as the lawmaster's eyebrow raises to the... And I wink. Oh my god, oh my god. For the first time since you've seen Norda, you see a smile curl across her face, goes, if that's not the weirdest thing I've seen in some time,

make your check with advantage. Hey! Natural 20! Yeah! Yeah, jazz hands work every fucking time. What was the other number? 17. Pretty great. Okay, still good.

1500, we'll call it even. All right. I gave you four. How much was it? I've got 165, that was Molly's. I put in 560. This is like us trying to figure out a check. I know, isn't it? I can throw in money as well, because that was Molly's. I put in 560. This is like us trying to figure out a check after. I can throw in money as well,

because that was part of my goal. Keep 65 and spend 100 of Molly's. Huh? To keep it simple. Okay. Yeah. Hang on for now. It's 1,300. I think it was 400, yeah. Yeah, so you only need 100.

Oh, I'm keeping my money then. Yeah. Okay. Not threw down 1,000. I already knocked it off. Thank you only need 100. Oh, I'm keeping my money then. Yeah. Okay. Not three down, a thousand. So I already knocked it off. Thank you, Nott. All right, the Crownsguard begin gathering the money from you guys and bringing over small chests to put the large amount of coin over us.

It's happening. Gustav leans his back towards the stones at the edge and his eyes are just wide in disbelief. I don't know what to say. Say thank you. Thank you. towards the stones at the edge, and his eyes are just wide in disbelief. I don't know what to say. Say thank you! Thank you. I cast Wand of Smiles at him. What's the DC on that? Is it charisma save?

It's a charisma save. That's an actual eight, so what's the? Oh good, you have to smile. He sits there, eyes wide in his mouth. Yay, he's so happy. Norda takes the keys and heads over and opens it up. All right, punk, you're a free man, congratulations. For some odd reason, these folks decided

that you were worth a lot of money to not be here, so be thankful that somehow the great gods have looked down upon you and Arathas decided, you know what, fuck law, you're free. And so the guards escort him out. You guys all head to the outside. You all get led outside of the stockade and Noretti says, all right, well that's been a pleasure.

I'm going to go ahead and go home, have a drink, and get some fucking sleep. Excellent idea. Don't get anyone else killed. Heads back inside. Gustav is stepping out there. His hat that he just had retrieved and given back to him, he puts on, studies his coat, grabs the small sack

of his personal belongings, and turns around to the rest of you. I Thank you. I. Thank you. This is more than I would have expected. What will you do now? I don't know. I mean, the circus is scattered.

I would ask where Yasha was. She would be a good right-hand man, but I don't see her around. Did she also? No, she took off like she does. Your guess is as good as ours. Maybe you could find her. We're heading to the Menagerie Coast.

Huh. Menagerie Coast, haven't been there in a long time. You're more than welcome to hop on the wagon if you want. Can't promise much more beyond that. Oh, I'm fine. Thank you, I appreciate it. I should probably tie some loose ends now that I have the availability to do so. Thanks to you and your generosity.

A word of advice. Mm-hmm. Whatever was keeping you in this cell, whatever was making you comfortable in here, just be careful of it. There's something inside you that's trying to put you in a box. Whatever guilt you're feeling,

whatever thing that you feel that you're to blame for, I would unload that burden, if not on us, on somebody, although we're happy to take it. Make an intimidation check. Jeez. Intimidation is fine. I was trying to be kind of nice. It can write a line. Seven.

Well, I appreciate your candor and advice, tall, furry men. Maybe, maybe I'll find an ear to bend one day. I'm not offering that. Maybe. Maybe I'll find an ear to bend one day. Until then, let Gustav Fletching be forever your humble servant. Do you mean that? Like, if we ever need you, can we hit you up?

That's an expression. Yeah, but I'm asking because he offered. Sure, I mean, nothing else going on. Come find me. I'll meet you right now, but. Then come find me. Yeah, okay. We'll send you a message, don't you worry. I'm sure.

Well. Good night. He walks off and his lanky legs almost bending with each step. He's such a strange gangly elf. You've never quite seen an individual with this physicality. Boy, not that any of us can complain, but that guy likes to lay it on thick. He's very sad.

Fjord, does this mean I'm not the most abrasive person in the group anymore? I don't know if deuceus is abrasive, just sort of awkward, aloof. Yeah, like, just blunt. I see funny rocks, I see funny people. It's not sitting right, there's something unnatural about the build.

When you drink tea made of dead people, you see things. I toss Caduceus a little pouch. I would like to make a dexterity check to see if I catch it. Yeah. That's okay. Sure. Great dexterity check.

Bless you. Bless you. 12. Bounce off the floor. It's more of a. You have to save it, but you catch it. That's what's left of Molly's gold, 65. I figure since you put down so much money

for a stranger to be busted out, a little bit of reimbursement. Appreciate that. It's nice of you. Why, why'd you do it? I told you why. I told him why. He was,

it's not healthy to sit there and just hide from your problems. It's a lot of money for an esoteric reason. Is it? Yeah. How much money was it? 400 gold. Yeah, how much is that? It's a lot. It's a lot.

Oh. Where did you even get that gold? It's a lot. Oh! Where did you even get that gold? We all divided it. That's tea for life. Oh. Seems fair. Maybe we will. How much gold was that, by the way?

65. We'll give you a little lessons in economics as we travel, you know, just for fucking future parlay situations. Well, I mean, what's the point of having gold if you're not using it for something? I mean, otherwise it's just something that's making it heavier to walk.

There's a lot of reasons. Sounds odd, but all right. We'll get into it, we got time. Seems like it. As you guys make your way back to the Nestled Nook Inn, having seen what has become of Gustav and then changed the trajectory of his journey as well, you all ruminate on the rather large sum of money

you've given for what you hope is a good cause, have another drink, and find your way to bed. And that's where we'll take a break. Hey! You said a thousand gold. It was worth it. Jesus. It was fucking worth it. I'm feeling it.

I'm feeling the vibe, and the vibe was it was worth it. That was really interesting. That was an expected half of it. That was, by the way, the best whisper I've ever had, by the way. I'm not telling them at all what you said, but that was amazing. That was a 27 insight. We was, by the way, the best whisper I've ever had, by the way, I'm not telling them at all what you said, but that was amazing. That was a 27 insight.

We need a damn whisper, Caleb. That was deep. 400, 1,100. So. 400, 1,100. I was going to toss in way more, but you guys picked up the check. I'm going to take it. This was definitely my instigation,

so I should bear the brunt of it. What? Fair enough. All right, so I had to go to the wiki to find how much money he still owed. So thank you, everyone, for supporting the wiki. I'm going to go up and look at Wikipedia. Yeah. I found it. All right, so we have tonight,

as part of our Moonwood giveaway, ah, this is what we have. This is the Purple Heart Dice Tower. Ooh! That's mine. Which has the Desert of Din Tilly, our fantastic grain in art from Devonru. Looks so good on Purple Heart.

Looks so fantastic. It really does. So this dice tower set comes together, magnetizes to assemble into an awesome dice tower. This will be given away at the end of the break to one lucky winner. You need to hop on over to the Critical Role Twitch chat during the break, that's twitch.tv slash Critical Role,

and enter only once the word coast, C-O-A-S-T. Coast. More than once. Deep meaning. I know. More than once, you'll be disqualified. But we'll come back here at the end of the break, and we'll have a winner turn out. So see you here in a minute.

Where's the box? There we go. What's in the box? I know it was coming. Oh, hey there. Laura Bailey here to tell you all about the glorious goods we create inspired by our stories. Our stores are filled with the basics, like character-inspired t-shirts, dice sets, and pins, as well as more specialty items like fancy jackets, puzzles featuring gorgeous artwork, the comfiest joggers and pajamas ever, and much, much more.

There's also a few special items that support charity efforts, like our dedicated Critical Role Foundation merch. You can check out all of our regional online stores by visiting the Shop tab on critrole.com or head straight to the U.S. store at shop.critroll.com. Every purchase helps support our shows and the stories we tell. Speaking of which, let's get back to the story. Welcome back. And that was super late.

Way, way, way. Intentionally late. Sure. Welcome back. First off, we have our winner, and the winner of the giveaway for this fantastic Wyrmwood, Purple Heart box, Devonru, hard scrolled thing. Getting ready.

There it is. Who's next? Nope. Is Tempy, T-E-M-P-Y-Y-Y. Tempy, congratulations. We'll have that sent out to you ASAP. Well done, we'll have a new one to give you guys next week for the next giveaway.

And thank you for our fine friends at Wyrmwood for being amazing. Yeah. All right, put that away. I wish Laura hadn't quit. I know. That was weird. She just was like, I'm out. She was so good on the show.

Right out the front door. Wait, I already figured out what it is. Is it DPB, is that right? That's right. DPB. This is not going away, is it? Big Dice and the Moth. Big, big peanut butter energy.

Yeah, a little of our big dick energy. BDE is gone. DPB is in it. People try to explain it to other people and they're like, what does it mean? And they say, dick in the peanut butter. They'll be like, no! What does it really mean?

It's dick in the peanut butter. So. It just means you're really invested. Let's do this. I think so. Slurp. Ooh. So after taking the evening

in Trostenwald in the tavern. You rest up the following morning as the sun rises into the sky. You have your meals, you prepare yourselves for the next leg of your journey. Is there anything else you wish to accomplish while in Trostenwald, or do you wish to? I do my pushups and my pullups.

Totally, got to keep it going, right? Upkeep, it's important for a monk. I'm working on it. Meditation. Beau works out more than I do. There you go. Different kind of working out. Is there a...

A place called Natural Remedies, maybe? Or maybe the general store? I don't know if it's possible. Can I get components to make a tangle foot bag? Like chemicals needed for that? Tangle here. It's a chemical thing, Travis, you wouldn't understand. Are you pretending to have actually looked

in the player's handbook for a while? I did not. I looked in the printout that Matt gave me. Oh. The one page that I needed to play the game. That, you need to keep up on that one. So yeah, indeed, there is natural remedies, there is the Lockward General.

What are you looking for specifically? What do I need for that, for goopy stuff? Tar, I don't know. It would be tar and other... Chemical thing? Well, it's a series of chemicals. Tar and amber and resin and things that are pulled from tree sap.

There are other processes where you can distill that down along with some more crude clays to create this kind of adhesive substance if you'd like to. Yeah, I'll turn into a little gnome or something and go around and shop and get all the components I might need. Okay, so you can go ahead and do that. Go ahead and make a general deception check.

Oh boy. Yeah, that's a two. Okay. So you. Deception's minus three, so. So negative one? Yeah. Wow. Deception's minus three, so. So negative one? Yeah.

Wow. What does the other side of failure look like? I forget to turn my lower half into a... Weird minotaur. Yeah, and it's not high stakes here. Not high stakes here. So you go and meet with Simon Earth of the Natural Remedies shop.

You can acquire the materials you need at the cost, specifically the materials that you're trying to make if you're trying to do something alchemical at the cost of what it requires. Yes. You get through one round of discussions with him before you begin to notice Crownsguard getting interested in your presence. One of them, for some reason, his eye caught you strange

and he noticed something odd about the illusion and your physicality and seems to be, you and the shop don't have a very good history. You're half gnome, half minotaur. All right. Well. Just the worst, half minotaur. All right, well. Just the worst of five on the top. I'll just go then, I guess.

Oh, looks like I've got a thing. Well, I'll come back tomorrow and finish shopping here, and I will definitely not flea town today. You say loudly, exit the facility. The Crownsguard are keeping a distance, but they're definitely trailing you from about 25, 30 feet behind. Boy, it's a cold day.

I think I'll just pop up my hood and walk a little brisker. They walk a little brisker, keeping pace with you? Maybe just, oh, look at what's that! I'll run into an alley that way. Okay, make a stealth check. What's your one? Nobody caught me.

Advantage. Ooh, that's even worse. 17. 17. Okay. You, dodging into the alleyway, using what looks like one of the open window sills on the first floor and the edge railing of the rooftop of this building that's immediately there,

you dart up and manage to get your small goblin form up onto the roof out of the point of view. You hear the Crownsguard round the corner and run inside and begin looking around, pushing barrels over and one of them, who seems to be leading this charge, goes, Well, fucking hell, where the hell did she go? That's probably just my brain playing tricks on me.

You hear them slowly walk away. They weren't fully invested in a chase, they were more just mistrusting and curious. Kill them now. It's so easy. All right, I'll just rejoin the others. Back to the rest of the troop, you guys have all your stuff gathered together

to continue the rest of this journey. If you want to do anything alchemical, we'll take time with the kit to do so. The dice have spoken, man. So, gather it up, back onto the cart. Who is leading this next leg of the journey? Is it you, continuing? I'm really enjoying this.

I get to see this wonderful countryside. I'll drive for a bit. Sure. Haven't taken a shift yet. All right, so the two of you make your way to the front of the cart and heading southward. It is four days of travel to the Wu Yun Gates. To the what gates? The Wu Yun Gates. These are the southern gates that mark the very edge

of the southern portion of the Empire. Wu Yun. So go ahead and make a perception check, since Beau's helping you with advantage. 19. 19. 19, okay. We'll save it for the sake of brevity here. The first two days of travel, thanks to your tent as well,

staying off the beaten path during times of rest, you manage to find some good hidden areas and no issues happen in the night during the restful period. The second day goes by without issue. hidden areas and no issues happen in the night during the restful period. The second day goes by without issue. You do see a small grouping of merchants making their way northward with largely

what is a chain of oxen. Looks like they have about 12 or so of them that are chained together and they're heading northward, having made their way through the gates for some sort of a sale or trade. But it's just a curious spectacle as they come by. It's like one carton, just a lot of oxen, giant horns, slowly making their way northward.

As you pass around for the third day and fourth day, go ahead and make another perception check. Again with advantage? Mm-hmm. All right. Natural 20. Yeah. Damn. Rocking it tonight. Apparently.

There's old dice in there, I see. Which brings you to a total of? 28. 28. Oh my god. Okay. Well. G or cash. More hidden treasure. As you get to the very, very southern side of this valley, you begin to see

as the Sirius Mountains and the ash peaks begin to come and point together towards the actual Wu Yun Gorge, which is this central ravine between the two mountain ranges that heads southward and exits the Marrow Valley entirely. As you approach, you begin to see the actual Wu Yun Gates, which are these tall, 50-foot high,

can't quite tell the width of it. You've traveled through these before once with Jester before coming into the Empire. You know the width of these walls is at least 10 feet to 15 feet wide at its base. The central gates themselves are not stone, but they are two very large iron reinforced wooden doors that stand about 20 feet tall and are open and closed

by chain-based wrenches, that are wrenches that rotate and open and close from each side of the interior of the wall. Your vision catches what looks to be a troop of about 50 or so soldiers, not dressed in the same bits of armor as the crownsguard that you've seen as you've traversed most of this countryside,

but a different set of armor, largely bright red maroons and golds. It looks like there are some tents and there's an encampment set on this side off to the eastern edge of the gate. Mr. Fjord, what do you think of that? To be honest with you, Caduceus, that was not here the last time I was here.

You recognize those uniforms? They're the Righteous Brand. Yeah, they're the Righteous Brand. I remember maybe a tenth of that. I assume border tensions are pretty high. We okay with these people, or should we? I think we should be fine. I mean, after all, we're leaving, we're not entering.

Fair. As you guys get closer and closer to the gates, you can see six Crownsguard that are painstakingly inspecting every cart and travel wagon that is making its way through the gate. They are stopping one by one and going through and poking and prodding and moving things in the carts to look for any stowaways, looking for hidden materials.

In this time of warfare, it looks like there is a very thorough process. And you can see the gates are open. You guys are about 300 feet away. He caught an eye, a vision of it very, very distantly. You guys are, but they haven't quite noticed your presence yet, or if they've noticed it, they haven't taken stock of it,

because they're focused on the Entrasket. We've traveled four days to the south, to the Uyghur gates. We're about to get, yeah, we need to hop out. Border Patrol is there, and they're checking every wagon. We came through when we were coming north, and there were a couple guards, now there's like 50. It needs to be empty the way it looks.

We need to hop out now. Yeah, Caduceus, let's pull off to the side and try to find some cover in the woods. Is there woods to cover behind? Nope, it is. It's a gorge. Well, the mountain ranges come together into this central gorge, and what was previously tall grass plains with rolling hills and bits of rock

has thinned out to be bits of scrub and then just hard rock floor. You've left the central valley and you're hitting more mountainous terrain. Perhaps we enter the cart, walk on foot, and say we're looking to go out and bring goods and wares back into the Empire. I mean, I just don't want to bring a cart

with a magical tarp over it that's designed for smuggling humans. Well, the tarp isn't magical. Is there a way to turn off the effect? It just looks like it cuts. It needs to be empty the way it looks, when they poke at it. So I think we should all spill out now.

We'll just go inside the car. We'll walk over. There's got to be a way to turn off the enchantment, maybe. I mean, you could disenchant it. Make an arcana check. All right. Is there a button? I'm probably not the person to make an arcana check

for this, but here we go. Yeah. Does anyone have the question? Nope, that is a natural one, which makes, give me a zero. You contemplate over this enchantment that they've told you about the cart, and you guys watch as Caduceus stares out

in the space of it before this trickle of blood begins to come out of her nostril. Are you okay? What? Caduceus, you got a little, ah, yeah, yeah. Does that happen when you think really hard? What? Just on a whim, do you maybe want to try

to dispel the enchantment the way you did? Dispel, but then it won't come back. No, but then it won't work. It may not come back, I thought. Yeah, I kind of like having a shorty come. What would I know about using that spell to make this go away temporarily or for good? It's hard to make an arcana check yourself, actually.

That's fine. Zabba, zabba, zabba, that is 22. It depends on the basis of the enchantment. If they're very powerful items, then there are sometimes means of temporarily subduing the enchantment. Objects that are a little more common or the enchantments themselves are not as thorough,

it is a dispel and gone type scenario. or the enchantments themselves are not as thorough, it is a dispel and gone type scenario. Hey, let's roll off of this thing and take a walk. How about this? What about this? We're not the only cart on the road, right? On this side of the road, you're the only one. There is one that is in the gates right now that's full inspection, and you can now see

from this distance that Caduceus has pointed out, beyond the open gates, you can see a cluster of other carts. There's a line trying to make their way back in. We could plant some contraband on one of those carts. In the kerfuffle, they'll be like, hey, you guys are arrested. You're under arrest. What do they do? I don't think they're trying to arrest people on the way out. They are searching both ways, it looks like. under arrest and we'll be like, ooh! I don't think they're trying to arrest people on the way out. They are searching both ways, it looks like.

I think it will be easier to get out of the Empire and back in. Let them poke sticks in here and find nothing. We'll grow a cave, we just all pile out. Besides, we'll stick in, the stick will disappear. What kind of contraband do we have? We got a couple pouches of fungus and that's about it. That's true.

I have human jerky. Let's keep that a secret, okay. Just don't say it. If I tell them it is. Yeah, but if they find the lot of us going, when they look in, that's bad, but if they poke at it and say, what's with this cart? We say it's a very good cart. Yeah. I agree.

All right. Let's risk it. Okay. I'm getting out of the cart. Me too. All of us. I mean, if they reached in to be like, oh, are there hidden compartments? Would they see their armor just disappear? Their armor would essentially vanish as they put their arm through the illusion.

Or if they're like, I'm going to climb up and check this out, Frank, and then they're like, Frank! The cart isn't covered. Let's just make it look totally empty. And if they ask why there's nothing, we have a story, right? We're going to go pick up a shipment and bring it back. It's fine.

It's just as long as they don't get it. Nothing wrong with having an invisible cart. Just me, I'll do the talking, right? Yep. Or maybe, you know. Fjord would be good at that. I'm going to focus on the thing. Oh, the dodeca? Shouldn't Fjord? Shouldn good at that. I'm going to focus on the thing. Oh, the dodeca?

Shouldn't Fjord? Shouldn't I, since I've never done it before? Yeah, you actually, I was going to say, you haven't done it yet, I think that. Okay, Fjord, you focus on it. Right as I started to focus on it, you can feel it rub me. Okay.

I will take the bag away and swivel it over to Fjord. But I don't understand. In that brief moment, Fjord. Oh shit, maybe she will come to us. You feel this momentary release, like a tether that previously had gone unseen is loosened.

There, in that brief bit of unexpected, free-floating freedom amongst the darkness, that warm, gray-centered energy drifts towards you. Your fight or flight kicks in momentarily, but you consciously recall that your friends have been through this. It seems safe, and with that, friends have been through this. Seems safe. And with that, it drifts towards you.

And in this weird familiar sense, you've had more than one object just enter your torso. As it warmly touches your chest and dissipates within the inside of your body, your consciousness shifts back out of your concentration mode on the dodecahedron. And you can feel that lingering warmth still around your sternum

beneath your armor as you release your hands from the object. That's a hell of a thing. Mm-hmm. You calm yourself, Jester. Lock it up, lock it up. Mount up, let's do this. All right. By mount up, lock it up. Mount up, let's do this. All right. By mount up,

he means everybody walk next to the cart. So as you all, walking alongside your cart towards the Huion gates, the Crownsguard begin to take notice of your presence. You can see the one cart that was being inspected, the gates, is given, apparently, the clear. They load their materials back into it and begin making their way northward,

passing you as you head south. A second- Change into another form of some sort. Of which sort? Of the water. Just a halfling. Okay. Yeah, or a tiny halfling, maybe. You begin to hit a point, and there's enough room for maybe three carts to make it through here, but they're keeping it a two-lane scenario here,

this kind of pincer point. There is a cart now that's begun inspection in about three different Crownsguard are going through and rifling and lifting things out of the way. As you begin to approach, the Crownsguard put a hand up and guide you over with hand signals to the area to the immediate right of it, around maybe 10 feet to the west of the other cart.

The captain approaches. You can see a woman in brownish-red hair, a bit sun bleached at the tips. It's pulled up into a soft ponytail high on the head, and the crownless guard armor itself looks well kept. You can see from the decorations, as you've seen before, this is a captain, and approaches. Holt, what is your business and where are you going?

We are but merchants heading south, down to Nicodranas and Port Damali in search of goods and wares. Very well, and what are you carrying across the border, please? Nothing but this cart. We are full of coin and yet have no products for trade. We hope to fix that south of the border. And two of the crown guards come over towards the cart

and goes, but what is within the sacks and small boxes? Oh no, we totally emptied the cart. You emptied the cart, but the illusion, having explained multiple times, is an illusion of just standard sacks and boxes. What if none of us fully understood that? At all. I did. I did not. and boxes. What if none of us fully understood that? Like, at all?

I did. I did not. May I? Yes. There's actually nothing on the cart. This is a preventative measure against theft. You can feel free to inspect the cart yourself, if you like. Make a persuasion check.

So truthful. I know. It's 10. 10? All right. Appreciate you being forthright. The two other guards come forward and you watch as they place their blades into and march to the banish. You go like.

It's kind of neat, right? Looking back at the captain. Begin to poke forward and you watch as their torsos vanish beyond the veil of the illusion It's kind of neat, right? Looking back at the captain, begin to poke forward and you watch as their torsos vanish beyond the veil of the illusion and pull back. Douala! And the captain approaches and herself leans in and pulls back.

You are not incorrect, you carry nothing on your cart. This is a curious nature of an enchantment indeed. You said you're heading to Nicodranas in Port Damali to acquire goods. What are you looking to acquire? Some simple fabrics, meats. My friends haven't sampled the cuisine down there and I was hoping to show them a bit of the Menagerie Coast. Make a deception check. If it's really bad, you can roll again. I'll let you try it, I'm going to do that.

Yeah, fate of time. 17. 17. Burn it. She gives you a close look, just not leaving a direct eyeline to your pupils and hers, and watches you through the entire statement. Very well. Move along.

Look forward to seeing you on our return. Well, the inspection will be far more thorough that time. Oh, I figure we're not difficult faces to remember. Right, stay safe. You too. The boundaries. Who knows what's wandering from the dark side of Xhorhas there. Eyes on your backs.

Go! And the Crownsguard pull away, and the ones in the opposite end open the space for you guys to move your cart along. With that, you pass through the gates of the Wu Yun Gorge. Do the gates look any different since the last time we were there? Scratch marks, more word and ware?

I just missed a rock. Make a perception check. Boom! You're like the one happy person at a DMV. 19. It's okay, man. It doesn't look like there's been any scuffle, no attacks. They haven't taken any tear from any sort of conflict, it looks like, from this end.

But there are more guards up along the top, along the walkway above the wall. Previously, you guys had seen two crossbowmen that were there. There's now 10. Yeah. And the Righteous Brand themselves, while about 30 or so of them have been encamped in that one encampment, the rest of about 20 or so are scattered amongst different points

on the mountains around the gate and are all scouts keeping eyes out for anyone trying to circumvent the pinch point. It's a pretty heavy interest in keeping watch on these borders, given the current conflict to the east, but you pass through safely, allowed by the Crownsguard, and within a few moments, you pass into the Wu Yun Gorge proper,

and a wave of acknowledgement hits most of you, that for the first time, you are no longer in the Dwendalian Empire. So you pass by the six or seven carts that are in line, and there's arguments and frustration. Some of them are currently very vehemently arguing with the Crownsguard, who are just holding the weight of their turn.

You keep your heads down and continue forward. There you start heading into this large mountain pass, extremely steep at certain points where the mountains seem to have been carved down or bisected by some ancient cataclysm, whether it be the Calamity or some great natural disaster long before that, it seems to be a very unique, singular cleft down in the center of these two mountains

that breaks the mountain range between the Sirius and the Ash Keeper. Who's keeping your earth the front of this? Go make a perception check for me, please. Okay. Come on, deuce. Drop that deuce. That's a 27.

Did it again. I'm rocking today. As you're stalking ahead, riding before, you can see there's bits of rock formations that have been pushed through by some sort of ancient seismic activity. There are pieces of rock that are platformed over

and there are outcroppings and caverns that have naturally been pushed out of the sides of this large ravine. It's quiet here, the occasional echoing sound of birds squawking and calling to each other. There's a faint wind occasionally drifting through and pulses. It's warm, the sun is above,

and whereas previously you've been encountering the colder winter, especially further north of the Marrow Valley where the snowfall has been rather consistent. The warm clothes you guys, many of you, have been wearing in that weather are beginning to capture the heat of the southern area. And as the sun is now high in the sky, cloudless,

the blue above you, the beads of sweat begin to form across your back beneath your clothing. Caduceus, you hear this faint, guttural muttering of some kind. What language is it, do you know? I know, common elvish giant Sylvan. He knows everything! It's an elven giant.

Body. Caduceus MVP tonight. Wow, he's on a roll. May this carry you into the Playa well, my friend. Yeah. What was that? I heard some of the whisper. I heard something, but I didn't hear anything. It was crazy.

What? There's giants up ahead. What? What do you mean? What? We're up ahead. You didn't tell me we were going to giants. Shh. Get back in the gun, get in the gun. All right.

Do I know where that voice came from? With that roll, yes you would. Looking ahead, and you guys have traveled a number of hours past the gates, and about maybe 30 feet ahead of you, behind one of these rock formations, you can see the vague outline of some large, hulking figure leaned against it.

Okay. You see the outside of a humanoid shoulder and the back of a matted bit of greased hair, maybe standing 15 feet tall. All right. What is it? It's about 30 feet away. It's about 30 feet ahead of you and to the right.

All right. I think he's planning on ambushing us. What? I'm going to cast just one I can see, although he's talking to someone. I'm going to cast Calm Emotions over there just to see what that does. Calm Emotions. Okay.

Just a little chamomile. Just call me Little Lavender. It's a 20-foot bomb just in all that section I can't see. Yep, it's a charisma saving throw. Against 16. It's a natural five with a minus one. That's going to be a no. Nice. Atta boy.

Nice, Tal. All right. Who's this Tal you speak of? So, the tension, and you guys can, as Caduceus has pointed out, this figure, you can see it tense against the stone, and you see it was reaching down, and it had, just at a sight,

there was some large, rocky formation that it had its arms on, and it was reaching down. It had, just at a sight, there was some large, rocky formation that it had its arms on. It leans back a bit and shakes its head, and as he pulls just beyond the outline of the rock, you can see a second head right next to the first. Two heads on one set of shoulders. They both shake away from each other, then together and away, and one looks to the other.

And just waves in your direction. What are they wearing? Mostly no clothing other than a bit of tattered leather and hide and furs that are matted around the midsection and then dangling almost past the knees. I'm just going to calmly keep moving the cart by them and I'm going to wave back and say, that's some great leather you're wearing there. It looks great.

Are you fucking kidding me? Holy shit. As the cart moves past, another voice, also in giant, comes across the way. You guys hear. . You look over to the other side, and from around another rock, comes across the way. You guys hear.. You look over to the other side, and from around another rock,

you see another one of them, who's looking livid at the other one. Go ahead and make an arc. This would be, technically, it's a down. Also, don't see any of you. They just see me and whoever's sitting up front right now. Make a general intelligence check. Just you and people dreamt in the back.

If anybody would like to make a general intelligence check on this, or you will as well. General intelligence? Yeah, these are ettins. Ettins are large giantkin, two-headed beasts. They don't normally work in pairs, you know this instinctively, because they argue enough between their two heads. To have two working together is already

a very strained relationship. The other one is yelling at the one across the ways, you guys are in between, you recognize it, saying, What? Why? Stupid! Right there, don't wave! The other head goes,

Don't wave. You know what he said. I'm going to go ahead, just for the sake of this, to give you some visual perspective. Please, bring it. It may not go to film. I want to give you a visual. I feel like you worked so hard on a map,

I was feeling a little guilty. Matt made this map and you just blew it, Tysa. I am enjoying this character so much. Oh my god, look at how amazing this dancing queen is. It's so pretty. You worked so hard on that. You know what, let's just attack just because. And now the Enten just wants to crochet things with us.

So, you guys would be right about there. How come Mamma Mia's way prettier than Dancing Queen? All right, so general positioning. Caduceus would be in the front with Jester there. I'm so tall. Orna, was Beau in the front? All of us were in the back, except for Jester. I think it was just me at this point.

We could all be on the sides. There you go. That'll work better. So you're in the cart there except we all jumped in to hide. There you go, that'll work better. So you're in the cart there, haphazardly. Yeah, because you guys can see this whole thing. Look at your little mini. Your mini's so pretty. Isn't he pretty?

I think it is, yes. Whoa, those things are huge! Oh my god, oh my goodness. This is the one that came around this end. They really have two ends. They literally have two ends. These things are huge! Oh my god, oh goodness. This is the one that came around this end. They really have two ends? They literally have two ends. And so.

That miniature is like the garbage pail kid card that you get 97 of. It is the most frequent find in the box. Are you Eddins? Eddins. Got a lot of Eddins. So this one currently under the Calm of Emotions that you're concentrating on, the other one is yelling at it,

, pointing at you, and the other guy's like. I can understand this, too, and I'm going to chime in a bit. I think it's really unfair that you're just putting this all on him. I think you really, you got to chill out a bit. Are you, I mean, you seem like a nice guy.

You're really listening to this? God, I'm also still very gently moving forward. Okay. You guys got issues, man. Pushing slowly forward. Ah. Trotting along that way. This guy comes out and begins arguing loudly with the other

as he comes forward, too, shouting at him. They're both yelling over both of you now. Oh my god, just keep this going. Language, come on! You shut up! You know how you speak, same? Yeah, man, who doesn't speak giant? That's just rude.

And the one who you didn't guess it on is like, You so dumb you do not listen! Ruin this! I don't think you're dumb, and I'm still going. You push your head a little bit further. Oh god! In the meantime, I pull out a white feather and I trace a triangle in the air

and I cast Fear on this one. Oh! Bless you. What's the saving throw on that one? 16. It's a natural 13, and what's the wisdom save? 13 is the DC. Is it a wisdom save you said? It's a wisdom save. Yeah, that's a failure. So that one.

What the fuck? Wizards, make up your mind! Goes from arguing, goes like, We're fine, you don't finish this, we do it ourselves. They reach over and grab this large boulder and begin to pick it up, and at that point, Caleb finishes the incantation, they go, drop it.

They just start running the opposite direction as the cart begins to slowly roll forward. This is great! It begins charging off this way. Oh my god. Stay all right, my friend. You stay all right. Naut's on the shoulder. Don't let anybody tell you what you can't do.

Those two just saw their worst fears. Wow. This guy just turns around and waves back to you and heads around that direction. It's not a concentration, by the way. Calm Emotions is. Calm Emotions for me is not a concentration. Is it? No?

Yes, it is, you're right, never mind. I don't know how to read spells yet. That's okay, it also only lasts a minute. Yeah. So, you know, we've been rolling. So these guys both run off the side there. Yeah, we're going, and now I'm booking. D-d-d-d-d-d-d.

Wow. Boom, motherfuckers! Yay. Fucking awesome. Wow. Boom, motherfuckers! Fucking awesome. So, as you guys continue running. It's so beautiful. He used it, kind of. Wait, no, he can spin it around and it's a different part of the canyon entirely.

Oh, cool. And you have to turn the little marquee again. He already did it. Yep. Now we're in a totally different place. This is like old animation where it just repeats and repeats and repeats. Kind of, yeah. So as you guys continue pressing forward on this,

oh god. The rocks destroy you. The rock is trying to hold us out of scope. Terrifying. All righty. Caduceus, that was amazing. We better run. And Caleb.

So the horse is moving forward. I tell the horses. What are you going to buy with all the credit? We're going fast. All right, so make an animal handling check, because you're now going into a straight. You're moving somewhere. Animal handling?

Yep. 21. Jesus! Without issue, you, horse speaker Caduceus Clay, give them the intent to go into a gallop and they begin picking up loudly. You hear the softening and as they begin galloping forward,

the cart taking a speed, at which point you hear a voice behind go, Hey, wait a minute! Dig us up! You see as the one with calm motions begins charging forward, is it saving throw on fear every turn? I assume it is, yeah. Where'd it go? This is my first time casting it. If the creature ends its, must take the dash action if the creature. For the duration, it just says, it becomes frightened for the duration. How long is the duration?

One minute. Doesn't say there's any save. Concentration. I'm looking. Where is it, do you see it? If a creature ends its turn in a location where it doesn't have line of sight. Well, if it doesn't have line of sight on me, it makes a wisdom save.

It fails the first one, succeeds in the second one. Okay. It'd be three rounds in, it gains it back, which is just about time it would take for the calm emotions to fade at this point. At this point, as you guys are running forward, at a double speed here moving forward, horse speed, pulling the cart, though,

it's only going to be at a natural horse speed. I'll go ahead and hop out and try and give the horses less weight to pull and run alongside. Okay, so Beau's now charging alongside there. The rest of you are pushing forward, going in that realm, at which point this button comes charging around the corner there, no longer affected by the calm motions,

and you can see the other one is rushing up behind going, You stupid! We're supposed to work together! Then the one to the left goes like, I told you we shouldn't work with more than one! He is right off the side here beginning to give so. I need everyone to roll initiative now. Oh, yeah!

There we go. They're rolling good initiative on their end. I mean, we could do both. All righty, so 25 to 20. 24. 23. Ooh. Nice, nice, nice. 20 to 15? going. 24. 23. Ooh! Nice, nice, nice.

20 to 15? 16. Ooh! Ooh! All righty, and then we have... Fuckery brothers at a time. I will produce this on Caleb. Yep. All right, 15 to 10?

10. Oh no. Oh no!. All right, 15 to 10? 10. Oh no. Oh no! Jester, where did you land? I landed on six. Oh. All righty. This is a sad day. Sorry, Jester.

All right, so Nott, you're up first. They're now running. How far is the closest one? They have a battleaxe in one hand that's half made out of stone with a giant piece of splintered tree wood that's been wrapped around it with rope.

The other hand, they have this giant club from another piece of dried and dead tree that still has bits of root and chunks of rock jamming to the side of it. They're both charging towards you. One head's looking at you and the other's just looking up at the air at a bird that flows overhead. It looks a little spoopy.

So what are you doing? How far is the closest one? The closest one to you, because you're technically in the back of the cart right here. Technically, you're in the back of the cart. Yes, it would be about 35 feet from you. Yeah. Some fucking things.

In the hole. I know. Because I'm hidden from their view, right? As far as I know? As far as you know, yeah. They don't know you're in the cart. Fjord's in there as well. Yeah, I guess I'll hold, I mean, otherwise I have to shoot it at disadvantage.

I'll take a shot at disadvantage. I'm hidden, though, so. You are, so it doesn't know you're there, so you have advantage, so it's just a single roll. D'oh. That's a 10. 10 misses. He goes wide out of the side, and he watches,

the head that was watching the bird goes and just peers close towards the cart with an untrusting eye, it's chin turning to the side. This is a terrible look now, you see these very these very bulbous faces of a combination of muscle and fat pushing into the eye sockets of these tiny, beady giant eyes. You see these roundish, pushed-in pug noses and this large, gaping jaw, ogre-like with two big tusks that protrude from underneath. Long, scraggly, dark beards that pour down the sides of their face and over the front of their chest, mingling with matted bits of chest hair over this tanned and sun-weathered flesh, uncovered, made of sheer muscle and anger. You can see each head has its own series of

scars and weird personality. As they're running, they're and weird personality, and as they're running, they're still arguing with each other as they're in the process of getting into you. We need to go from the side, no direct attack! On this side, everyone goes, Budak, don't be stupid! And the other head's like, But Budak's our friend, shut up!

So, that end of your turn, Nott? I can bonus action fire again, or I can get off this card of death that they're going to be swinging at pretty soon. I'll just shoot again. Oh boy. Oh boy. 17. That's good. 17.

They're big. All righty. That hits the guy over here, yes. Sneaky Tiger, no. Yeah, he still hasn't quite seen you. Oh, that's great. It shot out there, but he's not quite sure what's going on. They're not very intelligent creatures, you get the idea.

Not bad. I'll use Fury of the Small. All righty. So that's 25. 25 points of damage. Nice, so as they're running, the bolt lets loose and goes right into the lower jaw of the one on the left, the one that was being referred to as Bodak. Bodak.

Boodak. As it hits it goes. It starts reaching up with the hand that's holding the club to try and pull the bolt out, while the other head goes, Come on, bitch your weight into it. And just keeps charging forward. That end your turn now? Yep. All right, Beau, you're up. Are the horses still going to move on Caduceus' turn? The horses move at initiative count 20.

Just for ease of maintaining it. Okay. Which is right after Caleb and Caduceus, I believe. What'd you roll? 17. Oh, 17, so it's before you guys. Or 16. 16, was it 16?

You guys rolled 16. Yeah. So it's before Caleb, sorry. So after your turn, the horses will move both. Fuck, what do I do? What do you do? What do you do? I mean, I can get to one of them for sure.

I can get to that one, but I can't, can I get to that one over there? Possibly. Your movement is 45? 45 feet. 45. Yeah, you can definitely get to this guy. Then you're on your own. You're on your own. And we're moving at speed.

What are you doing, Beau? Okay, so we are moving. We are moving. The cart's moving regardless. Let me, I'm going to go right in the middle in between them, behind the cart. Right here? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, back a little bit more.

Towards you. Oh, there? Yeah, and then I'm going to take the dodge action. Patient defense or dodge action? I'm going to take the dodge action. Can I hold my attack if I take the dodge action? No, it's holding your action. You would be holding doing that, and then you would dodge action. I'm going to take the dodge action. Can I hold my attack if I take the dodge action? No, it's holding your action. You would be holding doing that, and then you would bonus action. Patient defense? Can I do that?

You can do that. I do that. All right, so bonus action, patient defense. And I'm going to hold my action as soon as one of them is close enough to hit. Okay, so you're readying an attack for when one of them gets close enough to hit. Correct. You got it. All right, that ends Beau's turn. The horses now move. Oh no, Beau. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Yeah, she's like, We'll be back in a few hours. You guys go. Keep going, keep going. She got Flintstone feet. Yeah. All righty. That brings us to Caleb. How far away from, oh boy.

Oh boy. Yeah. It does. Caleb is going to jump out of the back of the car. Oh no! Caleb, no! And get, that's one way down. Has its own narrative within the minis. I'm going to move to here.

All righty. As I'm moving forward, I'm going to move to here. All righty. As I'm moving forward, I'm pulling out a pinch of iron powder, and I let go of it and pull my fingers apart, and Beau again becomes a swole regard. Ooh! Oh, snap! I will use the rest of my movement,

I think it's five or ten feet more, then to back away towards the cart once I've done it. Where's the mini? Where's Big Beau? Big Beau? Don't let me down. Is there a Big Beau? I painted it, but I'm trying to remember with the move where it got put. That's why I did this, so I could see the big mini.

I know! I'm so angry! Is this the same day as we disguised ourselves, or have we had a sleep? From when we got the bag of jewels. It's been a couple hours. Okay. Since we got the jewels. Okay, just making sure that, okay. Okay, from the jewels, yeah, it's been a few days. It's been days?

Oh, from the jewels? Four day trip. From the jewels, yeah. So yeah, we're fine, okay, so yeah, you're fine. All right. If anyone in production wants to look for big bow minis? Yeah, good luck. Yeah. Fuck, this would be the time to unveil it,

but nevertheless, here we are with the chaos of the past few weeks of moving. Theodore's mind. Next time, there you go. There's big bow taking up all that space. Big bow. All right, and then the remainder of your movement, Caleb? Backing towards the car, jogging backwards.

You can get up against the car, but not into it. Yep, yep, yep, doing that backward jog. That ends your go. Caduceus. I'm trying to figure out that thing that I can do, or I can make someone vulnerable to terrible things. Oh, that's your channel divinity. Yeah, it was, I'm trying to find it.

Path of the Grave. Yes. What's the range on it? I'm too far away, it's 30 feet. Yeah, you have to get closer. All right, so I can't quite do that yet. That's really frustrating. So I'm just going to do what I can do from this distance,

which is Sacred Flame, I suppose. Okay, against which one? I always take the left. All right, left one over here, you mean? No, my left, I suppose. Okay, against which one? I always take the left. All right, left one over here, you mean? No, my left, your one. All right, that is a natural 19 wisdom save. A dex save. Dex save? Oh, that's an 18.

Still makes it, though. Yeah, still makes it. So no effect, unfortunately. He sees it coming and he's like, ducks out of the way and the burst of divine energy just explodes in the middle of the air to no effect. Okay, and that's my action. Yeah, that's all I got. Okay, it's now their turn.

The two etnons rolled a 15 and a 14 initiative. So this one here, this one here's going to go ahead and just run past. It's going to go over on this end, it's a 45, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, and then dash. Oh. 5, 10, 15, 20.

You're amazing. I told you production would find out. Yes, we got it! Max is the best. Oh, she's great. So much better. So much better. Optimus Prime. I love it.

Now that's Wulvigar right there. Oh my god. Who worked so hard to paint it and then it never came up and the moment it did, I was so sad. Thank you, Max. Roll out. This guy's going to go ahead and just up. The jungle bear is?

Just go back and forth on this. Whack! So that one up there makes no action, but it's coming up right up to the carton, has both of its weapons out. I do an attack as soon as he comes up to me? Yes, you can. He can't see us.

So you get two attacks. Well, that's balls. 10. 10 does not hit. Ducks out of the way. Thanks, Gil. Fuck you, Gil! Gil, you're the worst person! Fuck off!

What was that? Three and a four, she rolled. Okay, so now you do actually make impact and With the 11? Your fist hits the stomach and it hits what feels like solid stone with a layer of blubber as you watch that ripple around the tummy. One head goes

and the other goes and they both focus on you. You need to work out. Then both heads go One of them goes. The other goes. They both focus on you. You need to work out. Then both heads go and look momentarily insecure before they go, no we don't! They're going to take two strikes at you with disadvantage because you used Vacation Defense.

That's like. You can't see us, right? That is a 15 to hit, which does not hit your AC. The other strike does not hit. That's a 15 to hit, which does not hit your AC. The other strike does not hit. That's a 14 to hit. So you just deflect them out of the way. Stop moving, slightly bigger lady! Is what you hear.

What you hear, nothing, card was burning me! That ends their go. Fjord, you're up. Oh my god. Oh, Jesus, okay. It's right above you, you look up on it, and it doesn't see you. It hasn't focused on anyone in the cart.

We're all doing the like, oh! Yeah, and it's looking right down at Caleb. One head's looking at Caleb, and the other one's looking at Caduceus, and both weapons are raising up, one for each of them. What are you doing? Show how I do. I'm going to take two swings with the

summer dance falchion. Go for it. At the guy right next to us. That's a 13. 13 hits. Oh, nice! They're big, they can roll a lot of armor. That's great, and 16.

Both hit, go to no damage. Yes, summer dance. Yes, summer dance. Summer dance now. So that's nine points of damage on the first. Everybody, some of that's now! Five points of damage on the second, so 13 total. 13 total?

With my bonus action, can I cast Hexblade's Curse at the guy standing right next to us? Yes, you may. As you reach out, the blade emerging out of the weird illusion, and you can see him look confused, leans forward and the head peeks past the point of illusion to see all of you in the cart. As its head, which is the size of your body,

leans forward and grins, the horrible stench of its terrible breath pour in. You instinctually let loose the curse and you watch as the shadows leap up into its face and it backs up a bit and the shadows now have coalesced around the corners of its jaw and the inside of its muscular and flabby torso. The curse has taken hold.

Can I turn and say, save the cart, scatter! Sure, that ends your turn, Fjord. Jester, you're up. Oh, that's me? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to cast Spiritual Weapon as a bonus action. All righty, where you putting it?

Right above his head so I can smack him. There you go, another Critter-made gift here. Yay, look at that cutie. Aw. Look, he's going to smack him on the butt. What was it,, was it? It's just a lolly. It's a cute little.

It's another floating lollipop. Go ahead and make an attack with it. Oh, 24. That hits. Go ahead and roll your damage on that. That's five. That's just a one, so that's nine, no. Yeah, five.

Five points of damage with a spiritual weapon. On the back of the shoulders. You still have your action to do with cantrip. I'm going to run forward and touch him and cast Inflict the Wound. That's two spells in the same round. Just kidding. You can cantrip.

I'm going to cantrip him. Damn it. I'm going to cast Toll the Dead. Okay. That's a what save? That's a, let me click on it and find out. Wisdom. Wisdom. That is a nine. He does not succeed.

Scoring more damage on that. Two d12! That doesn't count because it jumped out. Let's just say I know. Hey! Woo, two nines! 18 points of damage! 18 points of damage. 18 points of damage.

So after he gets slammed in the back of the head on the left side. That's one bill for each head. Yeah. They both and he watches dark brackish blood pour out of the ears of each head as they rear back from the impact.

Is that a new turn? And then I jump out of the cart and run towards the horses on the opposite side. So Jester leaves the cart and run towards the horses on the opposite side. Jester leaves the cart and then join the horses there? I got to run past the horses, because I know they're going to catch up with me. Two, three. So you're now, you might want to be there.

Yeah, not in front of them. You're not going to be trampled by it. I know, I know. All right, that ends your turn. Back to the top of the round, Nott, you're up. Me again? Yep, Beau, you're on deck. Oh, but I'm not hidden anymore?

Mm-mm. He just looked in and saw you. Even though you're hidden in the illusion, it's aware of your presence and your basic location. But Fjord is right next to him. Oh, that's true, Fjord's engaged. Fjord is engaged, typically so are you. Then I will, but that's a sneak attack still, yes, no?

You can manage to hit. Oh, yes. Which, yeah, you don't suffer range in melee. I will shoot, shoot-ski. Yeah, so that's 20-something. Yeah, that hits, that hits. Okay. Wow, good roll.

21. Oh, good roll. 21. Woof. That one to hit or 21 damage? 21 damage. Yeah, that does it. All right, cool. So as it's pulled back, the impact of the bells, it's almost reaching up instinctually,

though it's holding weapons, it can't really plug its ears, so it uninstinctually bashes into each head a little bit with its own fists. As it pulls back, you see that one little exposed bit of the throat on the one on the right, and you release it and that horrible sucking sound as it's jammed into its trachea and it's like

and the other head's like What you hear is, Stop complaining! So that's your action. Great, I will use disengage and hop off the cart and try to run up next to Jester. All righty. You're on your own, Fjord!

You said scatter! There you go. Okay, I did. All right, then it's your turn. Beau, you're up. Okay, I'm going to take, grab my hands behind this guy's head and just give him a full knee. Give me a full knee. Give that fucking Muay Thai knee!

Muay Thai knee into the right head, right into the knee. Go for it, roll first attack. Come on. 17. 17 hits. Okay, I'm going to do Stunning Strike. All righty. Eight damage. Eight points of damage

and it's a constitution saving throw? Yep. That is an eight, he does not succeed. He is stunned. I'm now going to. As you grab the head, you grab one head, and then with the other hand, grab the other, and pull them down, almost like slapping two heads together in a three-suit, just think about into your knee.

Yeah. And you see one of them drops the club on one side and its hand reaches up to try and grab the face and it's just all sorts of discombobulated. So continue your round. You have advantage on your attacks now. I am now going to... Don't forget to roll your extra d4 for damage

because you're big. Oh, that's right. Thanks, Caleb. Couch drop. Extra one point. Eight and nine, better than eight. Nine. All right. Extra one point. Eight and nine, better than eight. Nine. All right. In most countries. I am now going to

attempt to just, with that knee, give a full front kick and try and knock him prone. Okay. And that's an athletics check, right? Yeah, so you're using an action to go ahead and try and shove? Yeah, because I have advantage on athletics checks. Oh shit, you fucking. using an action to go ahead and try and shove. I have advantage on athletics checks.

Oh shit, you fucking. Okay, 17 again. Natural two. No, wait, sorry. 16, but that's okay. Natural two, and even then he's stunned, so he would have, it doesn't say anything about athletics,

he's trying to escape it. Yeah, I mean, it doesn't matter, he's down. So as you trip the legs off from under it with a low sweep and a shove, under the ground, weapons clattering to the middle of the ravine, to each side of it. I'm not going to turn, and I'm going to run full sprint towards that guy, my 45 speed.

45, you're getting right there. Oh boy. Bonus action, Flurry of Blows. Go for it. Flurry of Blows. She's so glad we got to use Big Bow. Yeah, she is, man. Big Bow. Big Bow, Big Bow, Big Bow. Okay, first is, man. Big bow. A big bow, big bow, big bow.

Okay, first attack. Big bow. Natural 18. Yeah, that'll hit. Second attack. I'm just going to do both of them. Natural one. Do do do do do do do.

So we'll take that natural 18, which is three plus another three, six plus four, so nine damage. Six plus four is ten. Ten damage. There you go. I'm so dead. I know, we're so gone. So baked.

So that's the plus four of your big damage? So as you rush up, the first one, crack, slams across the jaw of the left head, like slow-mo jaw spinning. The other one, you go to strike the other head, and this one, the actual hand that's holding the battleaxe, it drops the battleaxe to catch your large fist in its hand and lean over, so one head's pulled back,

another head peeks around the other head going. Can I try and do, with a flurry of blows, can I also try and make that a stunning strike? Can I double down? There's nothing that says you can't. You have to spend more ki points to try it. Yeah, I'm going to try and stun him with that first one. Okay.

Can I do that or is it too far beyond? You can, but you weren't aware of it, so we can try. I'm okay if it's too late. That is a 19. A natural 16 plus three. It has a pretty good constitution modifier, so it does resist the stunning strike, but good try. All right, that ends Beau's go.

Caleb, you're up, and then Caduceus. I don't know if this is going to hit me, but I'm going to risk going this way away from it, up onto the gray stone. This way, over here? Yeah. All right, it does not stun, it does get a reaction. So as you're pulling back, it swings, okay, it swings high with its club as it's currently dropped

the battleaxe. That's going to be, that be a natural 15 plus eight. That is a 23 to hit. Take it. All right. Gale, no! How much damage? You have to heal him!

19 points of piercing damage as this club swings over with its jagged rocks and bits of stone and... What, did you throw it at him? No, he swung back and... 10 feet of reach, probably. I get my sentinel attack, right? Yep. You do, yes. Monks, man.

Yeah, it hits, that's a natural 15. Yeah, monks with sentinel, they're nasty. Two plus four is plus my extra four, so that's six plus three is nine. Nine points of damage, nice. So with this one, you crack again as the hit just slams into Caleb's back, sending him flying and basically shoulder rolling,

sliding onto the ground and barely getting back up, knocked a bit for a loop from the impact, but you don't notice that as you see the swing hit Caleb instinctually, you just and slam your elbow right into the ribcage. You hear multiple cracks as you get a good solid six or seven inches into the torso with your elbow

as you just shattered parts of the ribcage there. This guy's looking pretty rough. Oh boy. Fuck. But I'm not done, so pushing myself up and trying to focus on the one on the ground and seeing double hand on the glove, tighten it, and I am going to release three rays from it

and hit the guy, hit the mic first, and then hit the Etan on the ground. All right. Is that an advantage because he's down? No, it's a disadvantage because he's prone. I'm going to do it anyway. All right, so. That was a lot.

First one is a 10, doesn't hit. Okay, and a mission. Extravagant. Second one is a 20. That hits. Yeah. Third one is a 19. All right, so two hit.

Go ahead and roll a 46. Good roll. Nah, not a good roll. I made 6-6-1-1. So 14 points of damage. 14 points of fire damage as one of them fires off to the side and hits a stone, sending bits of rock and dust out to the side.

The two other ones slam into the sides of the, Etna's currently trying to find its way up, but it has no ability to move its muscles. Its body's still tense from the stunning strike, which actually would have had, it would have given advantage on the attack because he's stunned. So it would have evened out.

That's what I thought. Yeah, I forgot that. So go ahead and roll one more attack, one more roll for the first one. That's a two. So yeah, first one still misses, so. But yeah, there you go. As the flames burn and begin to ignite elements

or at least singe bits of the furs and leathers that wrap around its midsection, it's still desperately trying to get back to its feet. That ends your go. Caduceus, you're up. First thing I'm going to do is I'm going to tap my staff and say, time to get out, children. Tap that staff. I'm going to bring a little nest of creatures

right on the back of his business right there. All right. Like onto his weenus? Well, I mean, they get everywhere. Weenus, weenus, weenus. You were in jail when this happened last time. He watches as Caduceus, on the back of the cart riding it, slams his staff into the top of the cart,

and beetles just begin to swarm out of the staff that have been living on the inside, and then They've been living inside? Scooting over and begin swarming and biting and attacking the side of the ettin as it's currently being consumed by the shadow and everything around it. So roll an attack for the-

What is the attack for that? I think I might have that here. It should be on the staff. It's been 76 one. It's been acting a little weird. Okay. Is bonus action, it doesn't actually say, it doesn't give me the attack stuff for it

because it's not linked to it properly. Oh, weird. Oh no. It's just like, yeah, it's blanks. Yeah. That's unfortunate. But here, I'll find it. Thank you, sorry.

Swarm of beetles. So roll ahead and roll a bite attack, so it's a d20 plus three. 10. 10 total? Yeah. That misses. Oh, no. The beetles are climbing up the side of its body, but they're unable to penetrate the thick, giantkin skin.

It doesn't seem to mind so much, as they haven't been able to get into any sort of sensitive tissue, but you can see this dark cluster as the beetles are beginning to just form up the right side of its body. I'm going to need a little bit more. I turn to one of the beetles and make him feel this,

and then the beetle bites me, and then swarms and attacks him. I'm casting Bane. Ooh! All righty. Are we with you? Yeah, because the beetle brings my blood. I have to spill blood for this. Oh, sorry. Yeah, drop blood. All right, so the, you're with you? Yeah, because the beetle brings my blood. I have to spill blood for this.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, drop the blood. All right, so the three creatures in range, 30 feet. Yes, only have the one left. You can hit the one. All right, charisma saving throw. Charisma saving throw. Natural 19 minus one.

Fucker, no, I'm sorry. So it succeeds. Boom. But hey, you saw a lot of things. You did. Oh, you avoided this. This ambush could have saw a lot of things. You did. You avoided this. This ambush could have been a lot more harrowing. Oh yeah, we're doing good.

They were going to try to smash the cart. I'm just going to spend the spell slot. All right, so that ends your turn of Caduceus. That's what I got. All right, so now it's their turn. Oh, actually, and the horses are trying to push forward, actually, which they would have pushed. Yeah, technically.

Oh no, Jester got put over! Oh no, Jester got run over! Oh no! Jester got run over by Rhineger. Where's his friends? Where his friends are. All right, so now this guy is no longer stunned. No, he's stunned until the end of your turn. That's right, I remember that.

So he's still stunned, he can't do anything. I thought he was dead. No, he's just on the ground, stunned, prone, and until the end of her turn. He's much less damaged than the other guy. Oh no! The other guy is going to go ahead and move. I don't suppose the other swarms

don't get an attack of opportunity. No, they do not. He's going to move forward. I'm going to buy an extra reaction for Sentinel. So you're going to use a ki point to buy an extra reaction. Make an attack. Keep this motherfucker from going. That's one of the abilities of the class, yeah.

That is amazing. 15. No, 16. 16 hits, good roll damage. So he doesn't get to move, does he? No, he does not. He doesn't get to move past the melee range. He gets caught there from the Sentinel feet.

Sentinel in this class in particular is a really, really good synergy. Pop, pop, motherfucker. You want to make a monk tank? From this position. Including my feet on the same three. Nine damage, and he doesn't get to move. Wow. Nine damage.

How do you want to do this? Oh! Yeah, he doesn't move. So as he's trying to run away, and since I'm Big Bo, and I can do this, I just go, oh, nope, nope, and I just stick my leg out and trip him. Onto the ground, both faces

into the stone and rock below you. Yeah, that's it. That's it? It hits and it stops moving, and you're like, why is it, like, how bad was it? And you kick the body over a little bit with your largebow form, pull it back, and you can see there was a cluster of sharpened stones in the ground

that both faces fell onto and just pierced into the skull. It was a trail of crimson coming out of the gap. That was real convenient, guys. Did you see that? It was great. That was real convenient. That was real, that was creepier than the real.

Let's get the fuck out of here! End of Beau's turn. That guy's no longer stunned. All right. That brings us to Fjord. Yeah, I just got done seeing the T-Rex above my head and big-ass Fjord knock it down and kill it. That wasn't Beau's turn, though. Well, no, it was Beau's reaction. Beau's reaction. That was the ogre's turn,

or the Enten's turn, and one of them got unstunned, and the... I'm sorry, it wasn't Beau's turn, so it's still stunned, actually. That's right. Still stunned. I remember that. So happy to be out of death's doorway, I'm just going to send two Eldritch Blasts

towards the guy on the ground. All right, go for it. That's just a straight roll each. Great. 22. 22. 22 hits, and? And 12. 12 just hits.

Just hits, great. One d10. That's seven. And nine, so 16 points. 16 points of damage. It's like. The other face is like, which you recognize as being sunken up.

Is that in your turn, Fjord? Yes, it is. Fjord's staying inside. Jester, you're up. Oh man, okay. I'm going to send my spiritual weapon over. Does it get there? Probably not. That's fine. It hit one guy, though. Am I within 120 feet of the guy that stunned?

Okay, then I'm going to cast Guiding Bolt at third level, fuck it. All righty, go ahead and roll. It's a straight attack roll. Thanks to him being stunned and prone, so they can't slot the advantage and disadvantage. Okay, Guiding Bolt. Hold on, I'm sorry, I can't tell what's happening.

That's okay. Guiding Bolt. Okay. Okay, that does hit, that's 19. All right, roll some damage. Six, three, six. Kill him, kill him. Ooh.

Whoa. I love it when that happens. That was only five, huh? That was five, yeah. Okay, six plus 10 is 16, 23. Plus one more, 24. 24 points of damage, nice. As you watch as Jester pulls back,

clutching the symbol of the Traveler around her neck. Around my, it's on my waist. It's on your waist, all right. You pull it up from the waist and release the Guiding Bolt, which as it shoots out as a singular being, you watch as it swells with energy and intensity. Just wham, slams into it, actually pushes him back

five feet from the impact. There you can see from the impact, the energy seems to expand and then contract to it. You can now see the sparkle because Guiding Bolt now gives advantage to the next attack against it. Oh! And the movement? I'm going to hop back on the cart.

All right, hop back up on the cart. E4, did you see that? I saw it, yeah. It was pretty cool, huh? Yeah, it was pretty cool. All righty. I got a little pee in my pants right now. Top of the round, Nott, you're up. Me? Yep.

Oh gods. I'm going to be stopping the card. You're going to be stopping the card? What the thing? This guy's going to be trashed. Oh no. All right, I'll... He's big enough to still be in the battlefield. Okay, well then I'm going to run up to the dead body and hide behind it. Okay. Okay. I'm going to see if he's in the battlefield.

Okay, well then I'm going to run up to the dead body and hide behind it. Okay. Or in it. It's not like a corpse to hide into. And then I'll hold my action until the other one starts moving towards us. Okay, gotcha.

That ends Nott's turn. Beau, you're up. I'm just going. Beau has action, hide. Okay, roll a stealth check, Nott. Okay, that ends Nott's turn. Beau, you're up. I'm just going. I need bonus action, hi. Okay, roll a stealth check, please. Okay, 21. Got it. Okay. Beau, your turn.

Caleb, you're up next with Caduceus on deck. You're holding your action until it moves. Within 30 feet, basically. Within 30 feet. I'm probably more than 45 feet away. I'd have to run up and, I'm just going to, from here, take out one of my throwing darts and throw that.

Okay, what's the range on that? 30 feet, oh, I'm not within 30 feet, am I? Yeah. No. Is that the minimum range? What's the full range? I don't know. Darts. Darts, it's not a very long range in the darts, I don't think.

It's like 25. I don't know about you, I could fucking check some darts. It's fine. I'm just going to... 2060, so it's a 60-foot long range. With disadvantage. With disadvantage. But then advantage. And then stun, which is advantage, and it's prone, so it's disadvantage,

but Guiding Bolt's at advantage, so it's just a regular roll. No, I'm going to wait for Nott for that Guiding Bolt with advantage. I'm just going to run towards the cart. Okay. Go away, go away, go away! Oh, hey Beau. Just me, you guys.

I'm going to have a challenge! All right, Caleb, you're up. Yeah, I'm going to back up five feet away, and as I do so, I'm going to pull some batshit out of one pocket and some sulfur in the other and slap them together, and then stick my hands out and cast a fireball at it. Oh shit, it's the first fireball the game made!

Does that have advantage? Batshit, sulfur. Yeah, it's a different kind, yeah, it's a dex save, but he's stunned, so I imagine it's not going to do too well. He's still prone. No, that was the end of Beau's turn. Oh, that was the end of Beau's turn, you're right. Yeah, so he gets to shake off.

Prone, but he's prone. So that, yeah. Oof. Drop the fucking hammer. Kill him, kill him. So he has disadvantage. Dex save. No, prone doesn't give any changes to dexterity.

So that's a natural five minus one for his dexterity. So no, that's a no. So 8d6 fire damage to him. I came in like a fireball. It's a total of 16 fire damage. Just Caleb naked riding a fireball. You guys watch as Caleb stands out, this tiny bead of red energy quietly streaks over and then just detonates in this loud explosion

that just rocks the center of the ravine. It echoes out through the mountainous area. As the flames die down, you can see the Ettin on the ground. It's like outside is now charred and burnt. It looks very, very hurt. It's still alive. Did I go five feet back from where I was? You did.

Okay, I feel very caffeinated right now. Caffeinated. I believe you did. Okay. Okay. That ends Caleb's go, Caduceus, you're up. Am I within 60 feet of the guy on the ground? You were on the ground? The one that's far away.

Him? No, you were not. You were more than that away. There's no way I can get within 60 feet. You think you're within 60 feet? I'm going to tell the horse just to whoa. You are more than that away. There's no way I can get within 60 feet. You can get within 60 feet. I'm going to tell the horses to whoa. How do you do that? You can, no, he won't. Even at his full 30-foot movement,

he'll be just beyond the 60-foot range. I'm going to tell the horses to whoa. Okay. They slow down. I'm going to tell my beetles to keep munching on that guy who's on the ground. They do, they begin to consume the eyes and the ears and whatever,

immediately soft available flesh is there. The beetles begin to just die in awe. What the fuck? I'm going to run the stroke. I'm going to hold my, actually, what is my, just because I'm so sorry, this is a new spell I'm learning. Stop, stop, there we go.

That's the, I'm going to hold Channel Divinity until he's within, the one on the ground's within 30 feet of me. I'm going to woe the horses and hold Channel Divinity until there's a creature within 30 feet. That ends your turn. It is now the Edd'n's turn. The Edd'n gets back up.

I'm going to move to the front of the cart, too, so I'm right there with the next everybody. Okay, so you moved over to this position there. Yeah. Just right there, small stroke. We're all. The Edd'n gets up, sees the beetles eating his ally. One head goes. He wakes up, sees the beetles eating his ally.

One head goes. The other goes. Let's see. Nope. They go, pick up one weapon, pick up the other. And just bolt away, just book it out of here. Self-preservation has kicked in. If no one does anything else, I will send another fireball 150 feet.

It just starts running away. That is an 11 minus one, does not make its next dexterity save. Oh my god. It's running up the mountains and like, looking over its shoulder like,. It's a fireball. How do you want to do this? Because I have such an easy target at his back,

I give a little bit of a curveball to it and I make the fireball beam of red go and just erupt about 15 feet back and just burn the backside. You watch as it laughs and laughs and in the distance, and just pieces go. Yeah, you, this remember this cartoon, like. Like it's flying.

Yep, the wind blows past you guys. 25 feet away. Make a wisdom saving throw. Oh yeah, okay. Those fireworks kind of rave old upper dukes. Yeah. Not great. Oh no.

But at least we're not under attack. A 10. 10. So as you're all like, that was incredible, you look back at Caleb still standing there, hands extended. Oh no. Caleb. He's focusing out. I'll roll a bonus over to Caleb.

Exactly. Oh no, yeah, you're huge. And I just pick Caleb up and throw him over my shoulder. What happens? Is enlarge still in place if I'm out of it? Yeah, you're still concentrating on the spell. Unless you choose otherwise. I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on Caleb

as he's walking by in the state. Nott, you want to get on the other shoulder? Actually, hold on. Is stun break concentration? I imagine it would. I would think. Yeah, so Beau, you pick up Caleb as you do your form. Shrinks down. That's still pretty good. Yeah, so Beau, you pick up Caleb as you do your form.

Shrinks down. That's still pretty good. But he's a wispy fella. You're over your shoulder, fireman's carry. I was just about to pick up Nott. Squat that. You can probably still curl Nott while holding Caleb. You're pretty strong.

Why are you shaking so much bone? It's not good. I'm also going to go over and cast Decompose on that one. That's a, see what pops out. All right, so as you watch over and cast Decompose, the beetles have made rather quick work of all of the eyes and elements of softer flesh, and as you cast Decompose, you watch as the body softens a bit.

The gaps in the back where the rigid structure had left air between itself and the ground come to close as the body slaws a bit off of its tightened structure. You watch quickly as, where normally was very rocky terrain, bits of green begin to emerge. Vines seem to almost slowly wrap up over parts of its dead form.

And within bits of the wounds that you guys had left in it from your various hacks and attacks against its body, you see bits of reddish fungus begin to just pop out and just fill the various wounds. Nothing too intense, it begins the process. I'm just going to take a handful and give it a smell. Look at that, he's useful now. That's good, that's so good.

Blood fungus. I'm going to go get back on the cart. Is there anything on the giant's body worthy of stealing? Make an investigation. Oh man, dig your fingers into it. 24. 24.

You loot through his body. You find eight gold pieces, 34 silver pieces, and half of an eaten goat that was just dangling from the back of its belt. Hey. I'll take that. Goat meat is great. Well, it's great when it's fresh.

This is, you can smell the week of ripening that this half goat has been. There's a lot of medieval cooking that requires meat to get a little gamey, I'm just saying. Sometimes it improves the flavor. Lick off some of the beetles off of the goat meat. It's mine! The beetles eventually recoil back into the staff. All right. Oh, that's so cool.

So you guys gather yourselves back up into the cart, keeping a very close eye on the rest of the walls of this gorge as you continue your journey, you push beyond this brief encounter. So it's about four and a half days of travel to Nicodranas. From here? From here. Jesus, we're going half way across the world. You're traveling a long way, man.

How long did it take for Caleb to come out of that? It took about a minute. A minute. I should probably stop doing that. Can I sit you down now? Okay. I'm Can I sit you down now? Okay. I'm going to sit you down now. Okay. Okay. Let's go catch the cart.

You guys rush up and hop into the cart, continuing your journey. For this next day or so, Caduceus, make a perception check for me, please. With advantage. Thank you. With advantage, with Jester's aid, yes. Let's try a new die. That's, oh, that's not bad. That's a 17.

That'll do. All righty. Keeping an eye out, you peruse the interior of the gorge for the remainder of its length. Eventually, the mountain gives way towards the end of your day's journey. You don't notice anything waiting in the wings on par with what you had seen before.

There are some mountain wolves that wander down in a pack that notice your presence, but don't seem to bother. They tend to avoid the main road at this point. Eventually, you make your way past the dry, rocky plains just as the sun begins to set. You can see to the left of you the Ashkeeper Peaks that continue to curl off to the horizon, the hills growing taller and more scattered across the plain in front of you to where you can't see beyond the first set. But the landscape seems to be dipping a bit beyond that, so each hill itself marks the horizon ahead of you

for however long you have to travel. So first night rest as you were keeping watch. No major issue. As the morning comes to you, you all begin to wake up to the sound of approaching hoofprints. So. I thought I had earlier a point of order. The first time I did the hut, it was bright orange, but I've learned that I can control that. Through experimentation, I would say if we were ever in a field of grass, the hut would be the color as close as Caleb could get it to the grass.

It wouldn't be mottled or anything, it would be still slightly abnormal because it would be one solid color. If we're in a stony area, I would try to match the gray. Just something I add to my routine. Easy enough. So as you guys come to and wake up off of the side of the main path, you glance over to the right,

and you can see, from the sound of hoof prints, what appear to be two carts 30 or 40 feet off to the side heading up the road. At the front, you see a, I wouldn't say cloaked, but hooded man with a head wrap that falls into a scarf over one's shoulder, a long gray and gold comfortable travel robes. The front is just looking over in your direction.

In the back of the cart, you see what look to be numerous sizes of metallic cages of some kind. Are there people in them? Make a perception check. It's a zoo, it's a traveling zoo. 19. 19. No people, you do see a number of creatures. Little animals. It's a traveling zoo.

What kind of creatures? Maybe it's a petting zoo. At this distance, you can see what appear to be a number of small, feathered, winged creatures on perches on the inside of one cage. You can see what looks to be on the back cart, just from this distance, you can't make out too much from this,

you can see what looks to be two small furred creatures that are both circling each other in the cage in the back. Let's go take a look. Is he stopped or is he moving? He's moving, just glancing over and noticing this weird green dome off to the side. Goes just.

Good day. Do you emerge from the dome? Mm-hmm. Morning. Good morning. Do you have animals in there? Yes. Are they nice?

They are very nice. They are very young and they are ripe for finding someone who would wish to give them the attention and training they deserve. Oh god. Wait, wait, wait, can we pet them? No, but you may look to purchase if you are interested. Okay, okay.

I run over. Yeah, yeah. Look to purchase, Jester, just look. I got to see this you are interested. Okay, okay. I run over. Yeah, yeah. Look to purchase, Jester, just look. I got to see this, I'm getting up. I go over as well. You all begin to walk over. As you all begin to approach, he's like, pulls on the reins and the horse is going to come to a stop.

You look and it's one man, this gentleman as you approach, he's heavier set with very tan, sun-weathered skin, the folds of his neck just barely peering past the wrap over his neck, but he seems relatively positive and jolly when you approach. He has this smile and his eyes are very welcoming. There are two other figures that are walking

alongside the carts that appear to be keepers that are keeping an eye on the creatures. You can see there are a number of small bags and things that contain food and general means of keeping these animals. As you approach and look, these animals are kept in fairly good conditions. They don't look abused or anything.

They're just being brought. He, as they're stopping the horses, steps off, pulls back the wrap from his head, and just a smooth bald head with a little bit of stubble coming in around the sides. You can see he's mostly gone bald on top. He smiles. Well, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

I am Kestiff Drudy. I am a handler of creatures of fantastical possible talent, and we travel along these routes to find homes for these majestic creatures. If you're looking to purchase, we can give you a quick view of our wells. Did you say Drudy?

Kestif Drudy. Kestif Drudy. I'm so excited for a show. By the way, Caleb has stayed behind. He has no interest, he's keeping the hut up and petting his own cat and watching. I must stay far back, just watching from a hidden position.

Kestif, where are you coming from? Where are you heading? Oh, well, I'd previously been traveling from Port Damali and making our way from Port Town, Port Town. We had just left from Nicodranas and are making our way upwards, hopefully to Rexxentrum with the various creatures we have. You might not want to go that way.

There's a lot of guards blocking the entrance into the Empire. Why would they block it? There's a war going on, didn't you know? I heard about that, but do they not want comers? Well, you're going to probably get rustled a bit, but I'm sure they'll let you in eventually. We carry nothing illegal.

We have been very particular to make sure that the creatures we bring across are within the legalities of the Empire. Should not be a problem, but appreciate the warning. What kind of animals do you have, I wonder when? Well, and giving a display, the two other helpers begin opening one cage in the far back, and you see the two creatures

that pull on the side as they walk over with two very young tiger cubs. Orange and white with black stripes across their back. These are twin cubs. The last of their litter were given birth to, not about six weeks before. No. Twin cubs?

No. Twin cubs? Please! No. Two cubs. No. If you would like to make a home for either of these, they are 70 gold apiece, or if you want to buy them as a pair, merely 120 gold.

One girl, two cubs? Appreciate that. That face, that face. That face. Sweet tiger cubs into that. Sandwich like an animal companion? Is there anything you can't sell? Well, I should probably hold them to see if they will like me or not.

Of course, here. Takes one cub and hands it to you. They look like they've woken up not long before and they're like big paws that are oversized for their physicality. Hands the other one over to you. As he hands the other one over, this one is climbing up your shoulder,

gets a little rambunctious and across the back and shoulder area. You're so cute on here. I mean, should we have some tigers? I mean, should we have some tigers? Should we have some? They look very happy with you. I'm really happy with them. Perhaps there is something else. Caleb is very judgmentally petting his pets.

What else do you have, though? We have Jemayla, who is in need of a home and some care, and points over to another cage, and you can see an older baboon. Oh. You know who it was? You can see the orangish-red fur fading to gray. It looks older, you can see the drooping skin,

has one arm up holding onto a branch in the cage, and looks over and it's like. Is he nice? Well, she is unique, maybe a bit of a big personality, but overall, very useful and- This is where you're saying she sucks. How much is she, though?

45 gold for her. Well, I could probably get all three. What else do you have? We have, in turn, That's a sleep spell. You can see one of the helpers, two of the helpers have gone into one of the larger cages and pulled out on these leather cords

that they keep wrapped around a finger with these little loops that are affixed to the legs of these three smaller parrot-like birds. This is a blue dollop and sets it over onto the edge there. I'll put it on my horn. On the horn. Okay. This is a purple feathered joppie

and hands it over to you. This is a yellow-white korat, and the third bird is placed over onto your other hand. These run about 20, no, these are 15 gold pieces apiece for these birds. That's not pink. Beau's hard shell drops. I mean, they're basically free.

I mean, yeah. He takes the cubs from you. Puts them back in the cage. We also have, and points over to an owl. You see an owl, a large owl in one of the far back cages that is curled up. You can see in the daylight, it's now hitting the end of its conscious cycle, and the head.

It just stays in the cage. The owl is 20 gold pieces. You hear this from the back cage, and you can see this vibrant green peacock that is in one of the further back parts. Oh my god, we see a peacock cell! Thank you. That's a nice cell block! Taliesin, Taliesin, this one's for you.

You see it sitting in the cage. Bastards, those. Yeah, they're dicks. But it's sitting there in the cage. Yeah, but still. Every peacock will run you 40 gold pieces to purchase. We're having that cage over there, and you see this long branch

that's twisted up on the side, and you, he's not the one. Come on, show yourself. He takes a little stick out the side and pokes the log, and you see this long branch twist up on the side. You need, he's not the one. Come on, show yourself. He takes a little stick out the side and pokes the log. You see up on the log this tiny crimson-colored weasel.

This long weasel creature says, This is a crimson weasel. You can make him a little mask and then he'd be the crimson. Make the crimson weasel. Is it 20 gold pieces for the Crimson Weasel? Wait, I need to hold the weasel. I'm thinking about buying the weasel.

You go ahead and take the bird off of your horn, let me retrieve the other birds off of Beau and take them back in the cage. Should I do these two birds for that owl? Can I hold the owl? He goes over and opens the owl cage, gets a heavy leather glove on. Yeah, I feel like I'm really holding these animals.

Gets a heavy leather glove on and then reaches in to get the owl. It takes about three or four minutes to eventually nudge it to get under the arm and the owl is just fucking not having any of it and is like. Wait, if you buy the owl and I buy a weasel, is your owl going to eat my weasel?

Would the owl eat the weasels? If there is a reason, we keep them in separate cages, yes. Well, could we teach them to be friends? That is up to you. I cannot guarantee success in this endeavor, but you are welcome to try. Being a natural predator of the crimson weasel, I would not recommend it, but it is your purchase.

I kind of like a challenge. That's going to be a dead pet. I don't want him to eat my weasel, though. Can I hold it? How many times did you hear that in your own house? There is another leather leash on the weasel. I'm with you the whole way. The weasel climbs up your arm,

immediately hits you, the smell is not pleasant, but not terrible either. It's just definitely a smell of creature. That's the best way I can describe it. Kind of like a mix between Nott and Caleb. Yeah, it's almost citrusy, but fermented citrus. Similar to a ferris wheel, kind of, but it makes its way up the arm

and curls up and nestles into you. It's pretty soft. We have one more. This is a trained creature because we have to train them initially or we cannot keep it with us. Turns around and pulls out the side a tiny little puppy. It's a soft brown puppy with a bit of fur.

What are you doing? Are you crazy? Good! What is the matter with you? This one is 100 gold pieces. What can it do? What does it do? It is trained to stay within its cage, because when it gets excited, it pulls it over towards you and the tail wags,

and then it vanishes from his hand, and then appears on the ground next to you. Blink dog, blink, motherfucking blink dog! I mean, I'm not there. Appears on the ground next to you and is like, and curls up and starts nibbling on your boot. How much is this one? It is 100 gold.

100 gold for a cute, blinky dog? Is the owl the natural predator of blink dogs? No, the dog is too large. The dog will get larger, I will warn you. Will the dog eat the owl? No. Probably not unless it's- How much for the dog and the owl?

I want the dog for sure. Yes. Yeah, it's a bird of prey that you have to wear a glove to handle, how awesome is that? What do you do with the gloves? How much is the weasel again? The weasel. The crimson weasel is 20 gold pieces.

The blink puppy is 100 gold pieces. Taliesin and Caduceus have very conflicting feelings right now. We should split the dog, and we can have a pet together, and you can room with us whenever we go anywhere. Okay, yeah. I've never been so disappointed to have a vegetarian character in my entire life.

Definitely getting the weasel. Okay, here's my question. What do we do with all these animals? That's a very good question. We're going to get them, but what do we do with them? Why did you put this in front of us, Matt? Why? You know exactly why.

Because it's funny. I don't know. I don't either. We can just figure it out as we go. We can figure it out. We'll have pets. You're going to lose that puppy. It's going to blink itself off a cliff

and you're never going to be the same. Yeah, yeah. You're going to be devastated. No, that blink dog is cool. Just watch it. You guys all right? This all on the level? I'm just going to check with the animals that everything's copacetic. Yeah, make a nature check.

That's true. 12, 12. Looking over all of them, all the animals are well kept. I mean, I asked them, but yeah. 12. Looking over all of them, all the animals are well kept? I mean, I asked them, but yeah. Yeah. Oh, you asked them? Yeah, I know, I just asked them. We are very particular to make sure the creatures are well kept and comfortable, well fed,

and are of the utmost quality of presentation. Do the animals seem like they're cool with this, too? I was talking to the animals, but I'm not sure. Oh, you were talking to the animals, I'm sorry. That's all right. Think how effective an animal companion was when you were a ranger, and now you have none of those. You can express information to them.

The best that you can make out from them. They're not freaking out at me? No, they're not. They're enjoying the fresh air. Sure. A bit, and the attention, mostly. The owl doesn't want to fucking deal with any of you. I feel that.

Is the owl on me? I have the owl? Yeah. So do I have the glove on? Do I have the dope glove? No, he didn't give you the glove. Oh, he didn't give me the glove? No. I just have him? He can take it, though.

But I've got my wraps. Yeah, like, well, you have your bracers. And I have awesome bracers. He's Talon in the forearm, let's just be honest. Does he look cool in my bracers? He looks as cool as you look all the time. Right, does he, yeah? What, can I pet?

Make an animal handling check. Oh! Oh god, I was going to eat my... Revenge for all the times Dagon bit us. That's cocked, yeah, we're looking. 16. 16? You go to pet it, and as your hand gets close, it rears back and opens its beak a bit,

and you go and pet it, and like, the eyes squint very tightly, and then eventually it's like, Scratches. Yeah, the scratches. The feathers furl up a little bit, and it tends to poof. It seems like it's enjoying it begrudgingly, like it's really trying not to, but it's like,

oh, this does feel good. We're so much alike. You should have it and just have it, keep him on your shoulder all the time. Maybe I can train him to fly and come back to me and just be cool. Now Beau, you know a pet is a lot of responsibility. I'm so glad that this is happening.

I just want you to understand, you're going to have to feed it, take care of it, clean up after it. I know, Fjord. And I take out a little metal wire and I add this conversation and say, you are responsible for this animal's stealth checks. Get out of my head. If you are not interested, please let us know, we do have travel to give.

No, no, no, I want the weasel. I want the owl. Weasel, owl, all right. You're leaving the puppy behind? 20 gold pieces from each of you. You're leaving the puppy behind? No, we're going to get the dog. And we're going to split the cost of the dog. All right, that is 140 gold total.

Okay, okay. So that's, this is so many. This is like my dog. It's 70 gold-y. Ready? No, it's 60 gold-y. 60 gold-y. 60 gold-y. For the dog? Do it! No, no, hold on, no, it's 20, so it's 140. So it is 70 gold.

Oh, this is going to make a giant alligator so happy. Can we start a pool about which animal dies first? Weasel. Or lost, just lost. Weasel. Weasel. This is in my daughter's campaign of eight-year-olds, all the girls are like, can I have a pet? It's just like that.

Yeah. These two. You did this. You did this. Yeah, I did. All right, so Jester has a crimson weasel. I have a weasel! What's the name of my dope owl?

What's he called? Whatever you want to call him. But what's his breed? What's his, what's he called? A white owl, he's a barn owl. No, no, no, he'd be more akin, he'd be more akin visually to a great horned owl, except for because it comes from a more

temperate region here on the Menagerie Coast. The feathers are more light, the body is less large, and it's more elongated and thin. The tail feathers are a little longer, and the beak itself has a very, very sharp, like more than usual sharpness. He's got a tattoo on his left wing. The usual sharpener. He has his personality.

He watches like, pulls up and is like. It's just Icarus tattooed on his back. Spider web right there. All right, so that's 140 gold away. And this, I'm going to, this puppy is rambunctious and... Well, as he's making a transaction, he's not going to tell you after the fact, like a tool.

No. You must be diligent and begin to train it to know who is home. Or else, you'll lose it. So begin training it now. What should we name him? Oh no. What do we name him?

Too much. Nugget. I'm not against it. Yeah. Nugget. Nugget the Blink Dog. All right, so mark that somewhere. You have your Crimson Weasel, you have your owl.

What about the owl and the weasel? I'll think about it. Nothing is more important than this. There's no rush. Thank you very much for your commerce. If there is no other purchases, we will continue our journey northward. Nugget. Good luck to you.

We are home. You as well, dog friend. All right, up the top, everyone gets back into the carts, puts the rest of the creatures away. What do we feed them? Yeah, where do I feed it? Can we get a carrying crate? The carts roll to a stop and one of the hands comes over,

a younger woman, the one who's been helping with the birds, comes over with two small satchels. One hands it to you, and it is filled with about 10 dried out rat corpses. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Don't let not find that. The other one is filled with

what looks to be bits of dried jerky and dried fruit. Is that for the dog or the weasel? For the dog and or the weasel, in the face of the whole thing. And then the cart continues northward and is out of your periphery. Are you double guns, like weasel, in the face of the window. And then the cart continues northward and is out of your periphery. Are you double guns, like weasel and dog? I got weasel up here, dog right here.

What's his name, Poof? Nugget? Nugget. And we are home. We are home. Always blink to us. Make an animal handling check on the blinked dog. Oh god, he's going to just blink away immediately. And it's gone. Into a tree.

Actually, yeah. Okay. 12. 12? Okay. Be cruel, Matt, do it. Blinks out of your hand, and you feel this weight up in your horns.

You look over and see it's slipping off of her horn, trying to hold on. It's like, behind legs of her horn, trying to hold on. It's like, its hind legs are kicking up, trying to get leverage. We got you, it's okay, it's okay. Oh my god, I love him. Oh, it's so cute. Oh fuck me.

We have a dog. What the fuck did we just do? Oh no, why did we do this? I don't know. This might have been a manatee. This was like a red bear purchase. Yeah, it totally was. Oh, you got goldfish.

If you guys are wandering back, Caleb is giving Jester the vaguest stink eye as he scrunches Frumpkin's head. We have a pet. On the plus side. We have another pet. That is super. As soon as one of these animals runs away, we'll actually be nine of us.

That's really exciting. Why do you bring up the number of people in the party? I mean, just the name of the group is kind of a thing. What do you mean? You know, I don't know. Guess we've never really thought about it. Jesus Christ. All right.

Rehab, I guess. As you guys four. No apartment is letting us in now ever. Yep. Yep. Nothing in the valley coming to your attention. All right, so as you guys gather your supplies and continue southward along the road, to the sake of brevity, we'll say for the next few days,

you travel relatively uneventful, passing the odd traveler and or messenger riding their way up or past you at a much faster speed. To your left, you can see the massive green jungle. This tangled jungle forest to the east that consumes the base of the Ashkeeper Peaks all the way just out of sight to the horizon,

known as the Ku'uraska. Ku'uraska. Ku'uraska jungle. The fields and hills you follow grow darker and more dense with greenery. The sky is more clear and a more vibrant blue than you're used to in the northern lands and the gray skies of the Empire. more dense with greenery. The sky is more clear and a more vibrant blue than you're used to in the northern lands

and the gray skies of the Empire. You follow the road over a series of rising hills until you eventually crest the tallest, your eyes catching a beautiful, and for some of you, an entirely new sight. Beneath the cloudless blue, the horizon comes to meet an endless stretch of deep cerulean, scattered with thousands of tiny sparkling lights, the sunlight dancing across the

distant waves, giving the illusion of a million scattered diamonds glinting across what is the Lucidian Ocean. To your left, the dark green of the Kur'oraska jungle still dominates the countryside along the Ashkeeper Peaks, the now hundreds of the Kuraraska jungle still dominates the countryside along the Ashkeeper Peaks. There are now hundreds of miles of lush, tangled, vine canopy stretching to the shore and stopping at the southern cliffs and beaches that give way into the endless waters. A warm breeze blows from the south

as the faint scent of salt water tickles your nose. Do just south of your hilltop, southwest, the road continues to wind through the green hills and patchwork rocky mounds dotted with trees and overgrowth, eventually leading to a rather large city that sits in the coast. Dozens of boats large enough to see, even at this distance, cluster around the bays and docks.

All the colorful rooftops and towers vary in height and design, giving an eclectic visual of a jumble of cultures having built this space without unified vision. To Fjord, this is a familiar sight. And to Jester, this is home. Welcome to the Menagerie Coast and the port city of Nicodranas.

And that's where we'll finish tonight's episode. Oh! Plus three animals. and that's where we'll finish tonight's episode. Woo! Woo! Plus three animals. Not one. It took 30 minutes to go pet shop. Maybe two very special episodes. Why did we do that?

I don't know why we did that. I can't think of a name for it. You get ten extra legs now. Yeah, here, have some Tamagotchi. Yeah, yeah. I really want an over-under on how long it takes to lose one of those fucking things. Caleb doesn't like the blink dog, but keep the blink dog,

because Liam loves it. Keep the blink dog. That's pretty amazing. I'm going to eat one of those. You can't crush your Weasel with a blink dog. Eat the Weasel. Oh yeah, Nott now has a full-on Alf dynamic with some of these creatures. I'm pretty excited about that.

Alf, please don't eat the blink dog. Oh, it's fun. I'm excited to pick up in a couple weeks, guys. A couple weeks? I know! I know. We'll be back for the main story, ends the experience of the arrival at Nicodranas, the first week of September, the first Thursday of September.

Next week, however, we do have the awesome Liam O'Brien running one shot with these three wonderful folks, with Laura, Travis, and Sam, and two fantastic guests joining for that, so check it out next week, Thursday. And next week is also the premiere of Handbook for Helper, right? Yeah. Next Wednesday, right?

Wednesday. Wednesday. A lot going on here, a lot going on here. Ramping up, getting all of our stuff in the can. Our best wishes to you three as you disappear into the desert. Yes. A very necessary reset button. Work hard.

We did so hard. Play hard. Don't put your dick in the peanut butter too much. No, you always say yes. Oh, that's right, yeah. Not to that camp. I passed that camp, I said no. Peanut butter and Playa Dust, though, man.

Bad comment. Yeah, that's not doing it. Anyway. It's the PB&J card, it works fine. Yeah, in your mouth. You eat a fourth of a cup of flydust at the end of that week, at least. Yeah, it becomes part of your bloodstream at that point.

Anyway, guys, have a wonderful week. We love you, and is it Thursday yet? No! Good night. No, it's not, you fucking cotspets! Thank you for listening to this episode of Critical Role. If you've enjoyed this ever weaving story, please consider rating and reviewing our podcast. You might just inspire someone new to hop on the wagon for the journey.

We have plenty more stories to tell. Stay tuned and we'll see you next time.