Critical Role - C2E45 The Stowaway

Episode Date: December 14, 2018

The Mighty Nein find a stowaway on the Squalleater, who carries a mysterious item that holds dangerous consequences for the curious...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hello, bees! This is Laura Bailey, here to welcome you to the Critical Role podcast. If you'd like to tune into the show as it airs, you can watch Critical Role Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. Our lovely Twitch subscribers can view the episode on demand right away. Or you can find it on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. And of course, for all you fantastic podcast listeners, Critical Role episodes hit feeds on Thursday mornings, a week after the episode first airs. With all that said, let's get into another episode of Critical Role. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role,

where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We play Dungeons & Dragons! We should just get a sound cue for that at this point. It's expected now! It's like our version of ba-ba-ba-bam! It's here. I like it. Before we get started, we have some announcements to get to. First and foremost, we have two fantastic sponsors tonight, our fantastic friends from D&D Beyond. Return, Sam. D&D Beyond! What a year of sponsorship from D&D Beyond! They've been with us all campaign

long, all year long. To thank them for such a wonderful 2018, I thought I would give them a gift, an ad that will hopefully live on forever. I'm calling it My Christmas Gif. Oh, you heard that right. It's not a Christmas gift. It's a Christmas gif. How do you make a letter F with your hands? Gif. Nope. These are two Cs. Or jif, if you want to say it wrong. Here's how it's going to work. I don't know how to make a Gif or a Jif, but you fine critters out there do. What I'm going to do is I'm going to do some movements, some reactions, some acting, and hopefully be joined by some fellow cast members. The crew's going to bring out a green screen. We're going to do this over there at that camera. You guys will be encouraged to add your own backgrounds to make this something memorable that can live online so that when you're going through the Twitters or the Reddits

or the Im-a-gurs. I don't know what that is. Im-gur? Im-a-gur. Thank you. I'm an old man! When you're going through the Giffies, maybe you'll come across one of these bad boys that we're going to create live right now, and that'll send some love to D&D Beyond. I'll act one out. I'm going to go over here to this camera. Matt, if you'll excuse me for one second. We're making some gifts. I can't believe you guys are doing this for him. Jesus.

Max! Okay, we're making gifts. You guys will turn this into a gif later that will live on forever. There's lots of gifs to choose from. I'm going to do one like the guy who blinks, who's like, hmm, that's weird. I'm going to do one, you know, like the guy who blinks who's like, hmm, that's weird, right? I'm going to do that. Okay, ready? And action. Okay, so someone will make that into a gift. Okay, Taliesin, you want to come make one? Oh god, not really. I'll direct you. I'll direct you. No, why are you doing this?

Here, I'll hold this so you can just act. There's a lot of applause gifts out there, so why don't you do an applause or a praise-y type of gift. Ready, and action! Oh, yes! That was so good. I'm going to be silent for the first part of it. This is going great, guys! Okay, there's a lot of fail gifs, right? There's fail gifs everywhere, right? So why don't we do one where, let's say, you roll on a dice and it sucked or something like that. I don't know.

Let's do that. Careful. Oh! Whoa! I think we need a take two. You got to get your hand up here. No! Oh! All right, go. Damn it, didn't work. All right, Matt, you want to come do one? No, these are all innocent gifs. Okay, you know how sometimes on Twitter you see a gif where it's

like, this, what that commenter said, I agree. Just do that. Just point up and be like, yeah! Yeah! Right? Yeah! That's a gif right there! We just made a gif! And last but not least, I'll do a success one where a d20 comes rolling in and knocks me out of the frame or something. I don't know. I will figure it out later. What about Dramatic Prairie Dog? Oh, yeah, that's a good one. That's good.

Okay, that's good. That's a wrap. Thanks, guys. Well done. Okay. Woo! Well done. Good call. Okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Sure.

Thank you, Sam. Works so well. Thanks, Sam. And thank you, D&D Beyond, for being our fantastic partner through this campaign. Speaking of partners, we have a partner sponsor tonight as well, returning friends from Rook and Riven.

Yay! They've been with us before, they've returned tonight. Creators of the handcrafted, high quality, discbound notebooks that you've seen for your campaign notes, your character notes. They designed them for all sorts of role-playing games. You got the Mischief and Misadventure one there. Their work is fantastic.

For the month of December, the Rook and the Raven is donating 100% of their profits to schools, teachers, and community centers to help grow gaming clubs and classes through their help grow gaming clubs and classes through their Adventure Club Gaming Kits. So they're going to be putting everything together to make sure that these schools and facilities have the necessary materials to help facilitate gaming clubs

and getting these kids together to build the strong bonds that I did as a kid, and I'm glad to see that expanding, and they're making that happen. So go ahead and give the gift of gaming now by helping support their work and thus support these kids as well at therookandtheraven.com slash Critical Role. Nice. That's so cool. I think it's badass. I hope that's a thing that can happen now. I get messages a lot from people

saying they have gaming clubs at their schools and now there's too many kids playing. I'm like, that's a... yay. I don't know, it's just such a surreal reality. I'm really happy about that. We also have some other big announcements this week that we put up. First off, we have a fantastic art show coming up soon. You guys had a chance to see the art book, The Vox Machina Final Campaign art book. Now we got to announce that we have our very first art show coming up soon. You guys had a chance to see the art book, the Vox Machina final campaign art book. Now we got to announce that we have our very first art show to celebrate the fantastic art community that's come out of Critical Role. Each piece of art was created by community artists,

curated by us. Tickets for the opening reception will be available on Monday, this coming Monday, December 17th, and are completely free. That's just for the reception, you don't need tickets for the two other days. The exhibit will be open through January 20th.

You can stop over any point during the weekend if you missed the actual reception event. It's going to be there. It's going to be at Gallery Nucleus. You can find all the information for that at critrole.com. We also announced that on Saturday, January 19th, that same weekend, we are doing a return to Vox Machina one-shot. It's going to be the search for Grog. For those, no spoilers, but towards the very, very end of the campaign, Something happened. One of our players pulled a thing from a deck of thingy things and briefly

derailed a lot of things, and we just glossed over it. We're going to actually play through that adventure as a one-shot with all returning members of Vox Machina, but two, because Grog is being sought after and another character will not be present. I couldn't help it, I'm sorry. Couldn't make it, you know. Travis, I might say that you were forward thinking. I was, ooh. So super excited about this one, Sean,

to bring us back in the realm of Vox Machina. VIP tickets go on sale this Saturday, December 15th, and general admission goes on sale Sunday, December 16th. VIP at Hidden East will have a special swag bag, including a signed box Machina print by the whole cast, as well as we have a special Q&A with Brian before the show, it's got a lot of fun stuff. Once again, go to critworld.com for all the info,

we look forward to seeing you guys there. Yeah. Yeah. I love Brian Wayne Foster. Yes. Also, be sure to join us next week for our very special holiday one-shot that is being DMed by our fantastic Liam O'Brien.

Ha ha, oh my gosh, I'm so excited! I've had this idea in my head for two years! Yeah, that's right! Two years! I wanted to do it last Christmas! I'm mostly ready! We'll see what happens. I was not expecting that much exuberance out of you,

and I am twice pumped now just from that. That was adorable! It's going to be fun. It's going to be so much fun! It's called The Night Before Critmas. It'll air on Friday, December 21st at 7pm, so Friday next week to kick off the holidays right. It's 7pm Pacific at twitch.tv slash Critical Role. Last but not least, we also have our very special end of the year state of the roll tomorrow, which will give you more insight into our holiday

programming schedule, a few fun things that we have coming in 2019. You can check out all the details tomorrow morning at critrole.com and probably post it across our socials, so keep an eye out for that. I think that's it. Yeah, after four pages of notes, I think you got it. Yeah, it was a hefty one.

A lot. It was a big one. So on that note, my friends, let's go ahead and dive into tonight's episode of Critical Role. The Fight, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, Beware, cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got falchions and cunning They don't see over there There's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting

Rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands Take a chance, roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice Critical Roll the dice

Critical Roll the dice Critical Can you answer the call? Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll!

And welcome back. That was adorable, Laura. So, last we left off, the Mighty Nein, after spending an exorbitant period of time at sea at the behest of Captain Avantika on the ship the Squall Eater, got pulled into piracy under the banner of the revelry, brought to the pirate city and island of Darkto amongst the drag shallow reefs. There, you uncovered information, proof,

that she had plans to overthrow the Plank King and rule the seas, along with her fanatical obsession with Uk'otoa. I knew it was coming. You manage to dodge through the night, grab the necessary journal, uncover the information through the cipher, and through a scuffle, survive this fiery battle on the docks from the ship. Through some tactical use of spells and quick members of your party, you got it in the hands of the Plane King. Judgment was brought between the two of you at the dock and he chose Avantika to go. Upon having her make her leave violently, gave you guys your reward, which was sparing your lives and telling you to get the fuck out of Darktow and never come back. You were gifted the hobbled, burned

form of the Squall Eater and let to make your way out towards the ocean, where you attempted to search into the backstory of Fjord's relationship with his patron, and search of one of these, what seems to be the third and final sphere. You made your way down into the wreckage of his ship, The Tide's Breath, and discovered it was one of many in what was called the Diver's Grave, a ship graveyard here in the center of the Lucidian Ocean.

In trying to find out where this orb went, you were drawn into the underwater layer of DeShilla the Dreadful. You encountered spirits of long-dead sailors bound there by her magic. You discovered the essence of how she's able to maintain this graveyard and draw ships down below.

And while she managed to flee before being killed, you grabbed what you were looking for, fled to the surface, and with your ship, escaped the growing storm before any more danger was brought to you. And that was where we left off. So, Mighty Nein, as you've all gathered your things,

you can hear the distant crack of thunder as the storm gets smaller and smaller behind you on the horizon. What do you want to do? Should we go back down and just push the button just to make sure that we're wiped out? Not so far. I'm kidding.

So we should make our way over to the Bissafdai, right? Need repairs? Yes. That would be the thing to do. We are pretty hurt here. Yeah, how's everybody feeling, by the way? Are we damaged, beat up? We all right?

Nothing that a good night's rest won't help. Or two. Three. How many days will it be sailing? I'd estimate probably three or four. Three or four days from where you are now. You got it right! Woo!

I believe! Did you hear that? Holy shit, I got it right! As I was saying, Orly, if you would, please plot us a course to the Bishap Dile. But of course, won't you worry. He goes ahead and sets chorus. The ship makes its turn across the water

in the direction of the Bissafd Isle. Bissafd? Bissafd. Bissafd. Bissafd. H, it's Bissafd. Burn. He said Bissafd.

Yep, Bissafd. Where are we? You said Besaft. Yep, Besaft. Viscotti? Yes, Viscotti Alice. So to that degree, you guys have a few days of travel. Anything you'd like to accomplish in this time? If you've taken a long rest, we'll say for the first evening, so you're restored, if you need to go ahead and restore your spells and hit points.

I have a small list. What is your small list, Nott? Okay, you said that we have some cannons aboard. Do we have gunpowder? Yes. Okay, I would like to fashion, if I can, three more explosive arrowheads for myself, if possible. Sure.

Or attempt to. Sure, let's do it. Let's give it a shot. Go ahead and roll a tinkering check. Three times? Can you do that up in the crow's nest, please? Right in the belly of the ship. Okay. Are you proficient with the tinker's tools? I have tinker's tools.

SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, and SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, SAM and LAURA, I have tinker's tools. Where do I see? How can you tell if you're proficient? It's under your proficiencies. Yeah. Which on D&D Beyond. Oh, proficiencies in language. You scroll that. Yeah?

Oh, this is the bottom of the left-hand corner. Nope. Okay, so just. But I am good with chemistry. You are. Which is part of the deal. Alchemist supplies. There's powder. It'sist supplies. There's powder.

It's already powder, it's already explosive. You're constructing a casing and a means of detonation. So just roll and add your dexterity modifier. Three times. Yes. All right. Two, 11, 13, plus four. So 17, 15, low.

Okay. You make two. Hey! That's great. The third one. Oh no. In the crow's nest, as Fjord told you. No, I'm down near the cannons. Okay. Oh no.

That's where the gunpowder is. Yeah, why would you be anywhere else? Literally the first thing they teach you. The first two, the first one goes by easy as heck, because you're proud of yourself. Second one, a little tenuous, but you managed to craft it, and that's nice. The third one, roll a perception check.

Three. Oh no! Plus what? Plus zero. All right. So you, in all the excitement, and your mind's eye focusing entirely on all the wonderful explosions this is going to cause, aren't paying attention to the wire you're using to go ahead and seal off where the head of the explosive bolt goes. As as you pull, through a series of lucky circumstances, a spark gets hit. There's a brief moment where you hear that

and you're like, oh! There's just a flash. Roll a dexterity check. Dexterity saving throw. Two! It's at an angle! It is at an angle. It is at an angle. It is at an angle. It's still a two, though.

Yeah. Plus seven. But wait, wait, wait. Don't I have something on dexterity saves where I can something? I don't know, something? Don't I have something? I should know my shit!

You really should. You have evasion. Don't you have like, What's evasion? Evasion! Evasion? Oh boy. That's an area effect, so if it's a big explosion, maybe?

Correct, but unless your cloak gives you advantage on dexterity saving throws, I didn't think so. Can you uncanny dodge a shitty dex roll? But if you fail, it's half damage, not full damage. Correct. So you failed. Okay. Hello, I hear you damage, not full damage. Correct. So you failed. Okay. Hello, I hear you're trying to do a rogue action.

So in that explosion, 13 points of fire damage you suffer halved because of your evasion trait. So that'll put us at six. So you take six points of fire damage as there's this brief explosion that rocks the vicinity and your ears ring and you grab the sides of your face as your eyes tend to focus.

In that brief instant, you see a shape move through the center of the galley. What? What? Fucking stowaway. Oh shit. You're like, what? First of all, am I singed?

Did the other arrows, is everything safe? Is anything else going to blow up? Any other fire? Make a perception check. Six. Everything seems safe. Okay. Just get them all out.

Caleb, Jester, Beau, everybody below decks, find out what that was. No, no, everything's fine. Everything's fine. I'll climb up. It's okay. What did you do? As you guys look up, you can see the smattering of dark soot all across her face, the hair is scattered.

Oh no, Nott. It's okay. There was a booby trap set by Avantika, but I found it and disarmed it. It's all right. We're safe now. Glad you survived. There's a lot of gunpowder down there. I know. I was just making sure that we were safe, and we definitely are now. Care wounds. Thank you. Do you need any company below? No, no, I'll be okay below, but Beauregard,

and in halfling, I will say to her, there's someone hiding downstairs. We need to act fast, but don't alert the others yet. They'll overreact. You and I are the calm and steady ones. We can deal with this. Not, not, not! What is coming out of your mouth right now?

Sorry. We're saying our daily prayers. Y'all have daily prayers? Yeah, it's called get the fuck out of our business. Oh, again. That's a lot of heat. Captain Tusk, eat tooth. Sorry, I've been on a boat for a very long time.

I just don't want us to all go down there and scare away whatever it is. Oh, no, I'm still in halfling. Okay. You're sure we shouldn't let Clet Fjord know? Or should we just handle it? What do you think? Do we kill him? Fjord? He hasn't done anything to us. Ah, I heard your name.

Whatever they're saying, I heard your name. Yeah, right, you heard that, it was like, Fjord. Crazy. I don't know how to translate it. That's a little suspicious. Caleb starts speaking in Xemnian. What are we doing? What are you talking about?

This seems rude to me, what is going on? All right, all right, all right. Speaking? I'll finish it. Xemnian on? All right, all right, all right. I'm not a war criminal. Gather close, gather close, gather close. I gather an infernal. In common, there might be someone down below, hiding. In my exploration, I might have seen a shape moving down there. I don't want us to go

charging down there and blow up anything. It's the Traveler! Shh, shh, shh. Not too loud. Are you sure there are no more booby traps below? I don't think so. This one was very specific in its design. Seemed to be a one-of-a-kind thing, I hope. And you go back down there, take Beau, Jester with you,

and we will stay up here and make sure that they don't get by you on the way out, but you need to find whoever or whatever that was and isolate it. Isolate? Yeah. Contain? Exactly. What if it's Vera?

Do you think it could be Vera? Didn't she die? No, she didn't. She was in shackles next to the... No, you didn't. You didn't. Poker, right? No, Vera, the last you saw Vera, she was burned pretty bad.

He was vague about his wording at that moment. But, but, but, isolate and contain. Go now. All right. Okay. Try not to do it well. Before I go down, I go, Fjord, sorry for being a dick, and then just go.

Okay. Apologies. That's an improvement. Gross. That's impressive. Character. Oh! Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

So Beau and Nott? And you said Jester. And Jester. And you too. All right. I'm going to stay at the, keep an eye out on that. Yeah. So as the three of you head down past the galley

in the kitchen where you originally saw the shape move, you're now towards the center where the cannons are and the gunpowder, the cannons and the accessible stores of gunpowder are. You guys can see the slight scarring mark on the wood there where the previous explosion happened. Whoa. Ah, near the galley is where I saw the thing move.

Do you see anything? Make a perception check. Ooh, so much better than mine. 23. 23, okay then. So, you glance past the galley. You don't see any movement. You glance across the opposite side near where the stairway leads into the cargo hold below.

You look past and you swear you see something looking back from around one of the barrels. Then disappear behind it and you hear. Hey! Hello! We saw you. Is there a way to flank around behind wherever that shape was? It's possible. Where you saw it was right next to the stairs that lead down into the cargo hold. Whatever the shape was, it moved behind one of the large barrels there, made a run for it, hoping it wouldn't be seen, and then went downstairs. Downstairs?

It went downstairs. Into the cargo hold, yes. Let's go. Yeah, we're going downstairs. It went downstairs? The cargo hold, yes. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah, we're going downstairs. All right. I like, yeah, quietly dart forward to block off the path. Okay, so blocking off the area,

everyone makes stealth check, please. Hood up. Oh, bless you. Okay, what is it? You get advantage. Oh, I get advantage, that's cool, that's cool. Oh, natural one. Natural 20. Oh. Thanks for that. Blessing., that's cool. Oh, natural one. Natural 20.

Oh. Thanks for that. Blessing. Blessing, goo goo goo goo goo goo. You're both in trouble. 23. Okay, that tips the scales a bit then. So as you guys are quietly making your way down there, hearing the creaking of wood and the very faint

muffled sound of waves crashing against the outside of the Squall Eater. You see a shape duck down even further back in the cargo hold behind one of the box clusters. Can we see what it looks like? It's too far away and there's no light down there. Do you make light? Why did he send us three?

I put on my darkvision goggles. All of you have darkvision as long as you have the goggles on, so. Do you want me to go scare it out or something? Yeah. I don't know how to do that. Oh, me neither. You can be scary.

Oh! I'm really good! I said my duplicate! Okay, I was going to say thaumaturgy, but yeah! Oh, do that, too! Okay, I use thaumaturgy, and I send them. I don't want to use my duplicate. Just send thaumaturgy, then. And I use my duplicate!

And I send my duplicate where the box is that they're hiding behind, and at the same time, I use Thaumaturgy to say, there are ghosts on the ship! I look at Nott. You're me. Flink, let's go. Okay. All right. Oh good, is it our turn now? As you guys dart around with the booming voice of Jester's duplicitous double, they're curved around the corner. You manage to all at the same time flank in this area. As you get around the

space, you can see they're huddled in the corner. If you'd like to come to the table, Debra. Oh! Describe to them what they see. Yes, okay. Okay, okay. Sitting in the tiniest little corner in the littlest ball, and I've created an illusion of a halo over my head, so I look like a perfect little angel. It's just a tiny little gnome girl. You would have no idea how old I am. I'm really, really cute. And there's sticks in my hair and I'm really, I even got singed a little bit. So like one cheek is like covered in like soot.

And I have really pretty necklaces. And I go, ghost, did you say ghost? I'm scared of ghosts. Oh, there's no ghosts. You're so cute. There's chocolate smeared on my face as well. Come out, you're so cute! Is it a little child? Just afford to contain! Get down! Get down! I point my crossbow at her.

Get down! Don't say a word! You want some candy? Come on. No, no! This is not good cop, bad cop! You're supposed to contain! Contain! At this moment, I push my hand out and another little hand slides off of it and comes forward and comes in your face and goes,

Oh! I mean, she's so cute! I know! How can I do that to you? I'm so sorry! Okay, okay, okay. Who the fuck are you, though? Seriously. Who the fuck are you, though? I open up my little cloak and I go, Should we tell them? Okay, I think that, yes. No, no, no, I think they're friendly. It's okay. So I go, I'm Twiggy.

This is Trixie. Oh, no. Whoa. Trixie's my bestest friend. And we got kind of stuck on this shit, but I have lots of chocolate and lots of apples. As you can tell, that's all I've been eating. And I wonder if it's okay if I could just hang out with

you guys for a while until we get to shore? What were you doing hanging out on a ship in Pirate Island? You're a little cutie pie. I know. I just needed somewhere to hide for a, and there was this box, and it was open, and they were bringing it on a boat, so I was like, hey, sounds like a good idea. That seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation for me. That's what I thought. What does Trixie look like?

Trixie, oh, Trixie's got a big bushy tail, and look, you wanna see? Yeah. And I opened up my cloak, and sitting in my pocket is the tiniest, cutest little squirrel you've ever seen. Oh my god. The tiniest, cutest little squirrel you've ever seen. Oh my god! The tiniest little nose. I go, oh my gosh, Trixie will love Sprinkle!

And then my little crimson weasel pops up from the hood on my cloak. I let Trixie run down my arm and they go and they boost, they boost noses. Oh my god. This is a very girly game today. Okay, okay, I feel like we're fearing. I pull out my dead rabbit's foot that I have. I have this, too! It's something.

It's so cute! All right, we're letting the cuteness distract us. Why were you hiding? Sorry. Why did you feel the need to hide? Well... What did you do? need to hide? Well... What did you do? I'm really, really nice, but I don't always make the best decisions. I can relate.

Right? Everyone can relate. I'm so nice. Totally. So I don't know. There was this really pretty thing, and this really bad guy was going to get it, and I was like, that's not fair, right? So I took it. Okay, I took it. You don't care, right? What does the pretty thing? What sort of thing? I don't know, you guys. It's kind of tricky. Okay.

Okay, so I kind of. Do you have it? Yeah, I kind of look at you all. I say, I never let it leave my side. So I turn around, I go in my bag, and I'm digging through my bag, and I'm like, oh, not this. Of course I missed you.

And I've got all these little trinkets of things, even little drawings that I've made and stuff like that. They're really little houses and clouds and stuff. I pull out this thing, and it's a sphere, but it's made of all these intricate little puzzle pieces. I'm like, see, I can move it around, but I'm not quite sure what it does, but it's clearly really pretty. Can I touch it? No, in her gnomish hands, this is pretty large. From your perspective, it would be about that big, but for her it seems even that much bigger.

It's a brass and golden sphere that consists of many, many layers of intertwining clockwork, sliding hemispheres, looks like rotating bands and strange inscriptions. It's this massive, complicated mess of contraption, puzzle sliding pieces. Does it seem magical? Make an arcana check. That's fucked!

Ooh! Amazing. 19. That's a terrible clock roll. Ooh! 19. While she holds it out to you, you can see parts that she's not touching are shifting slightly to where it has a clockwork feel, but then you don't see any gears in the parts that are shifting. They're sliding naturally with a very faint whir. You can tell there's probably some magic involved, but it's a combination of clockwork and magic.

Maybe not. It's just that we're surrounded by gunpowder down here. So maybe not. Maybe not right now. I've been playing with it for weeks. No, no. Don't worry. Have you solved the zetai puzzle?

No, but it can do this. Oh god. Whoa! So I put my hand on one side, and I pull back one ring as it pulls around the cross. At the same time, I click another one to the side, and it slides around the side, and? You watch as the last part clicks into place.

There's a burst of light, and about 15 gold coins go to the ground in front. So you got a pinhead, man. Nope. Oh! We have gold coins. Is it real gold coins? Is it fake ones like you and Caleb did? You crack a tooth.

Didn't need that one. It's real. It's real. Wow. That's the coolest thing ever. We just have this lame-o dodecahedron. Don't show her that. Oh, you've got cool stuff, too? We do. I showed you my stuff.

She showed her stuff. I can't argue with that, either. Okay, well, I got it. It's happening. We have this thing that if you look really hard at it, you have a special gift you should look at. What she reveals is that she pulls out of this bright pink satchel, this colored leather satchel she has, is this dodecahedron shape that has gold trim around the edges and these handles, but it looks like a gray quartz. It has a very faint hum to it, and it seems to glow in a rhythmic, almost heartbeat fashion. It has this very strong presence, and the air around it has

its own subtle vibration. If you want to look at it, that's cool. Yeah, okay. Okay. I lean over it and I look at it, and my eyes are huge, like twice the size of my head. Not twice the size, sorry. like twice the size of my head. Not twice the size, sorry, they take up half of my head. Holy shit!

No, sorry. They take up the whole top half of my face. That would be freaky, too. Like the big-eyes pictures. I'm looking into it and you can see my eyes are reflected back off the thing and I I stare and I let it wash over me. Which, as you do that, you feel this gravitational pull, your essence drawn towards it, and your peripheral blurs and darkens. Within, you feel like you're leaning into it. It's no longer an object. It's like a pool of water. You cross the surface and it's warm. Past that, in the darkness, you just see stars, an

endless sea of stars drifting towards you and past you. You look ahead and you can see other little shapes. You look at them and they're you. They're little ghosted versions of Twiggy and they're all going in different directions and some of them fade and some of them are created and two of them join and create a new light and go on a separate path. In that moment, you see this single glowing, warm light that appears

and presents itself to you. I totally reach out and touch it. Okay. As you reach out and put your hand towards it, it merges with your hand and the warmth carries through your wrist and forearm. I giggle. It gives this warm interior hug-type sensation. As you close your eyes to relish in it and open them again, you're back on the boat with them. Okay. When you open your eyes, I've got the thing and I'm totally fucking with you.

Pretty cool, huh? No, no, let's go. We should really have Caleb look at this. He's much smarter than any of us down here. I take it and I roll it across the floor. No, no, no! Get the thing! Get the ball! I put the dodecahedron back in the back of the bowl. As a note, you have what's called

a Fragment of Possibility. Okay. For the rest of the day, if any time you have to make an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw, any roll with a d20, essentially, you get to reroll it, or you get to reroll an additional d20

and choose which of the two to take. Just once? Just once. One luck. After I've rolled it, I can choose? Yeah. Cool. Cool. Hey, Twiggy. Now that you've looked at the fragment,

you're bonded to us. Which means if you betray us, we'll know how to find you. Oh, wow. Well, that sounds pretty serious. So cool with me. I like people. I like hanging out with people. I like trusting people. So that sounds great. This is awesome. All the right answers. We should go upstairs and show you to everyone else. I'd love to be shown. I dance. Oh my gosh.

I dance behind her and we go over there. Yeah, I turn around and my skirts go flying up and everything. What is this? This is the best day in the year! Does she still just have chocolate all over her face? Yes. Oh, totally. As we go up into the next level, I take you to my box where I've been living for the last

week, and it is filled with apple cores and chocolate wrappers and stuff. Is there a stench of urine? Yes. As you say that, I go, ooh. I motion to a corner in the back and I was like, I'm surprised you guys didn't notice that earlier. It's pretty bad over there. That's my bad, I'm down here a lot. That was me. Real perceptive, Ro.

All right, let's go introduce you to the others. Okay, so, oh, but I'm a little shy. Who am I meeting? You're meeting Fjord, and you're meeting Caleb, and you're meeting Caduceus, and you're meeting Yasha. Okay, so they're all big. They're all bigs. I'm little. Which one of these two is taller?

Actually, probably even Kiel between the two of you. We should come up with a dance. Sure, yes, yes, we can choreograph something. We've done that before, so yes. Yeah, it's something like this. You'll have to teach me. It's a lot of wiggling of your hips. Whoa, that's fun. But no, they're all big, so don't be intimidated. One of them is a big cowman.

He's got pink hair. He's really pretty. There's a stony-faced harbinger of death type lady. She's got wings that are so magical. She's pretty cool, though. She's cool. She likes flowers. I like flowers. I dig in the back of my hair into a rat's nest and I pull out a really old wilted, dying flower. Oh, see, I love that that because it's kind of dry. I also put flowers in my fur sometimes. That's really cool.

Like best friends. I don't want to. No, it's fine. You guys can be best friends. No, no, I think she meant all of us. It's okay, you can be. We put the flowers behind her ears. They're really old and wilted. Thanks, you can be. We put the flowers behind her ears. They're really old and wilted. Thanks, you guys. At this point, around the side,

Marius LaPaule has walked down into the center of the ship and is standing there. So, who the fuck is that? Our new best friend, Twinkie. Marius, Marius, please, god, save me. Come on. Marius, we got to, let's go, we got to go. You're all scaring me right now.

I'm going to go lay down. Let's go. I'll follow him up. You guys all make your way back up onto the deck of the Squall Eater. As you hear the footsteps rising, you look back to hopefully hear information about how things went down with the supposed sound

and stow away. Instead, you see them arrive with Twiggy. Da-da-da-da-da-da. What is that? That's what we found. and stow away. Instead, you see them arrive with Twiggy. Da da da da da. What is that? That's what we found. She's so cute. This was downstairs. She's the cutest ever. Is that mud on her face?

That's chocolate. Chocolate? Mm-hmm. You want some? This is Twiggy. Twiggy. This is Captain Tusktooth. He runs the ship. Oh wow, thank you so much. You can call me Fjord, it's not necessary.

Captain Fjord. Yeah! Captain Fjord works. 40. This is Caleb. Four to people. Caleb is very smart, and he's good with magic. He can probably determine what you're carrying,

what that ball was that Beau has now. What, what, what, what, what can probably determine what you're carrying, what that bow was that Beau has now. But why are you on the boat? Just hanging out. She was eating apples. Going for a trip. Being in the corner. Being in the world. It seemed legit. I call Caduceus over. Caduceus. That clarifies that, okay.

We found a Twiggy. We found a Twiggy. Found a Twiggy! She was hiding. From bad people. Yes. Unspecified so far. She stole this. It was a little bit bad, but just a little.

Oh, you did something to deserve this? No, no, no, no, no, I just took it. Oh. Yasha walks over and just bends over at the hips and puts her eyes right in front of Twiggy. I like her. She walks away. Fjord, Fjord, Fjord, Fjord. I got nothing, man. I don't even know.

Can I talk to you for just one moment, please? Sure. We walk away. Just so you know, I think she's really cool, and I don't think anything's wrong with her. I think she's the best thing in I don't think anything's wrong with her. I think she's the best thing in the universe. But in case you're trepidatious, because I can see on your face that maybe you are just a little. That's my emotion. I do have zone of truth.

Fair enough. How old is she? Twiki's doing spins, whirling dervish in the background. How much chocolate have you been eating? Whoa! Aren't you worried that her parents are wondering where she is, or her family? Well, I didn't wonder about that. I wasn't worried, but I guess I should.

You were in the middle of the ocean, Jester. Okay, but her parents were probably pirates if she was stowing away. Twiggy! Yes? How long have you been on this ship? This ship, just about a week. Just about a week. This ship? Mm-hmm. Oh, sorry. Yep, took another one before. I don't know, kind of a habit.

Where are you from? Far, far away. I'm from far, far away. Port Damali. Port Damali. It feels far when you, that's not, that's not. It feels far when you're little. And you've been living in a box. It's pretty far, actually. I'm actually from Port Damali.

Well, howdy there, neighbor. Well, howdy there. What a coincidence. This is so crazy. Are you trying to get anywhere in particular? Nope, just was trying to get away from Port Damali. I understand that. Are your parents there?

Nope, no parents. Brothers, sisters? No parents? You're an orphan? Oh, they died a while ago. So you're an orphan for a while? Yep. How deep are these waters is what I'm going to ask. I'm trying to figure out how much of this is, obviously a lot of this is bullshit.

Go ahead and make an insight check. All right. Bullshit? What are you talking about? She's telling the truth. She's the greatest person in the world. 22. 22, is there anything you want to whisper to him, feel free to.

Even, yeah, just general vibe. Honestly, I've been very honest. Everything's been a little mission, maybe, but. I am halfway through Identify on this clockwork gizmo. Okay. Oh, she is whispering something. Dndbeyond.com slash Critical Role, let them know that you came from us.

Give them some love. All right. Okay. Wow, okay. I honestly just think that we need to feed you something that isn't chocolate. This is a... Woo! You're a gnome, right? Yep. Don't gnomes live for a pretty long time? Yeah. So you could actually be fairly old and look pretty young. You don't know. You don't know how old

you are. As you see me walk through the shadows, in shadow I could be 60 years old, but when I step out into the light, it's like seven. Wow. Fascinating. I don't think she's as young as she seems. Were you by yourself, Twiggy? There's no one else we have to worry about pissing in the corner of the boat, do we? No one that I know of. Except for Trixie.

Who's Trixie? It's okay. Don't worry, they'll like you. Who are you talking to? She's got a rodent in her pocket. A rodent? That's Trixie. What the fuck is that? You got one chinchilla? What is it?

I know that one. It's a squirrel. It is a little squirrel. I don't trust squirrels. They're tree rats. Squirrels are great. They're wonderful for. You just keep it to yourself. That's okay. Trixie likes it in my pocket.

He has an octopus. Sometimes a cat, so be careful with your squirrel around his cat. Trixie's very wily. Jester, can I put you in charge of keeping an eye on Twiggy? Twiggy, we're going to the Besaft, what is it? Besaft Isle. Besaft Isle. I don't know if you're familiar with that area. We need some repairs, and then hopefully you can find your way from there?

Sure. Thanks. So you're concentrating on? I was doing a ritual casting of identify as soon as the thing was in my hands and not talking to anybody. Okay, so continue while you're doing that. Let's sit down, I'll show you how to draw the perfect dick. Perfect!

Caduceus, could you make sure that she gets some real food? I was just about to go get something with something that's not chocolate in it. Probably for the best, yeah. I'm going to be back. Oh boy. So Caleb, as you finish the ritual, your vision clarifies,

you know, crystallizes on the object and is part of the information that would transition to you. Fails. Oh shit. Arrow, four of them. It's not so much like a, you know, you've tried to identify magical objects

or non-magical objects before and be like, oh, this isn't magical. This blocks you. Interesting. Interest intensifies. What is this thing that you have? What is this called? Does it have a name?

I don't think it was on the card. I call it my Fun Ball of Tricks. Happy Fun Ball? Happy Fun Ball. Do not solve Happy Fun Ball. I'll solve Happy Fun Ball. Where did you get it from? Did you fun ball. Where did you get it from? Did you make it, did you get it from someone else?

No, it was sitting somewhere, and I was like, this is cool. Like a museum, or? Kind of, yeah, it was on a little pedestal, and people were looking at it, and it had a little card on it. And then I saw this guy, and I was like, he's a mean man, and I said.

Was he the docent or something? You seem to have done one. I don't know, he wasn't wearing a uniform or anything. Yeah. Why did you think he was mean? What gave off that impression? I've seen him before. You know him?

Yeah. Oh. He is a rascally man. And his name? His name? Yeah. Sir Cadigan. Sir Cadigan. That's a good nameally man. And his name. His name? Yeah. Sir Cadigan. Sir Cadigan.

It's a good name. Was this in Port Damali? This was in Port Damali. You are smart. Do we know of any museums or places with magical items in Port Damali? Make a history check. Low DC of series, since you're relatively local, but.

Natural 20. Hey! There's not so much in the way of museums, per se. But there are collections, there are collectors, and those are usually private and only, invite only through mutual merchants and nobles and people of affluent nature. There are two auction houses

where a lot of these items are sold and traded by these collectors. One exists in Port Damali. It's called the Exalted Collection Auction House. The Exalted Collection. I don't know how to spell exalted. Exalted. You can copy over me. Well, Twiggy, tell me, this happy fun ball of yours,

what does it do? Well, it makes money, for one. Oh, how much money? Depends where you touch it. Oh. She made 15 gold pieces down there out of nothing. That's a frumpkin and a half. That is true.

I've heard of these frumpkins. I'm just kidding, I don't know what that is. That is cat octopus. Owl, also owl. Sometimes a spider. And other things as well. But this does other things besides making money? What else does this do? I played with it a lot, and all kinds of little flashes and things go off. I'm coming up with a veggie plate, by the way, just the sort of thing that you're just embarrassed your parents bring up and putting it down.

Picky cuts, yum! I'm so excited. Yeah, so do you have any future plans here? Is there something that you're moving towards? Do you have a place that you're heading, a goal, anything in there? I like making friends. That's great.

So I just go around looking for friends and give them my most wittiest smile. That is heavily disarming. I mean, you're doing great then, but there's a direction, like a cardinal direction that you're making these friends in? You know, things just sort of happen to me. Sometimes I do things, and then I end up somewhere and I just go where the wind blows. You see, as you're inspecting this, one, there are sections of it, like Rubik's Cube-esque,

where you have to rotate an area to allow another part to rotate. There's a strange order, it seems, to these. But one, for things that should be rotating freely, there is a consistent resistance to it. You also notice there's between the seams, where all of these pieces of metal overlap, where there is a slight gap, if you manage to hold it in shadow or put shadow over it, there's a very faint blue-green glow that just barely peeks through each seam from the inside of the sphere.

There definitely is magic, and you're a smart guy. You start to look it over, you're like, some of these patterns, maybe you could figure it out. You do notice that there's a lot of these strange inscriptions on it appear to be complicated variations

of basic conjuration glyphs. None that you've seen, but you can see the similar shapes, the similar equation-type connection between these glyphs. I can explain the money, yeah. There is a strong conjuration element all across, on very, very minute, impossibly small engraving across the metal. Can I tell how old this thing looks?

No idea. All the metal's pretty well kept. It's pretty polished. There's a couple of errant smears of chocolate caught in some aspects of it. A few sticky fingerprints in some areas. It's like the worst controller you've ever picked up at your friend's house. You're like, Oh! Yep. Chocolate and Cheetos and all sorts of shit. Cheeto dust sprinkles out. But beyond those. Maybe it's like a piggy bank or something. Like maybe it holds a certain amount of coins and you just have to turn it the right way.

Can you hear coins? No, I don't hear anything. Maybe they're really jammed in there good. Maybe it's just because there's so many they don't shake around. Is it limitless? Does it make money all day long? Yeah, every time I twist it in that one way, it'll make money drop. You show me the one way.

How much money do you have down in the box? Because that's a lot of times. Who needs money? Excuse me one moment. I like bread. Twiggy, would you show me how you make money with it? I take it back, and I sit down, I cross my knees, and I put it in my lap, and it's like this giant beach ball. I do the same movement where I pull it from the top around so that it opens up, and then I can use my thumb. You see my fingers are actually long and slender and perfectly suited

for this. It pushes around the other side, doing the same movement I did before. This time, you see this flash of white light and eight gold coins clink to the surface of the ship. May I see that one more time? I roll it across the floor to him. From perfect memory, I duplicate what she just did. Okay. The mini-screen. White flash, four gold coins.

Oh, it's like half every time. I take them. Okay. I pick up the eight and I say, you want those? Oh, Nott like half every time. But I take them. Okay. 15, eight, four. I pick up the eight and I say, you want those? Oh, Nott already took them. Oh. The eight that came out when I did it the first time.

Yeah, Nott already took them. Oh, you already did, okay. Oh, yeah, okay. Same defense. I missed it. I'm just going to do this. You mind if I take a look at that really quick? Yeah, I walk it over to him, here you go.

You can roll it, It's all right. No, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm just going to try and move some stuff and see what happens. Roll an investigation check. Oh man. Awesome. Oh, no, damn. It was almost a natural one. I'm so sad. That's a six. A six. Okay. You find one section that shifts, following suit with her and it sticks. Yeah, you're not going anywhere.

It's hard. That's really cool, though. I just imagine doing that all day. That'd be great. That'd be a, yeah, I just imagine doing that all day. Welcome to my world. Wow. Wow.

Rolls really well, too. I don't actually even remember why I asked for it. I pick it up and I do that basketball thing. Oh, that's fancy. So what are we going to do with this little kid and or old lady? Well, I think we'll take her to the island and then obviously give her a chance

to continue her adventure. She can stay with us forever. Well, now, Jester, look, you know, I loved Kiri as much as the next person, so much, just mm. Yeah, Kiri's wonderful. Yeah, so great. But I also don't want to be responsible for anyone that can't take care of themselves. Can you take care of yourself? She made a hand. Can you do cool things?

She made a what? Yeah, it was super freaky, actually. Are we forgetting to describe things that are of import on this ship? She did what? She has a little magic. At this point, I walk up to you and I say, oh no, I walk up to you and I say, how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Oh, no, don't you dare. Ten tickles, and I cast Hideous Laughter.

Make a wisdom saving throw. Ten. It's an 18. It doesn't work, but I go, funny, huh? Ten. It's an 18. So it doesn't work, but I go, funny, huh? Yeah, I'm not a happy guy. I wanted to see a Caleb laugh so bad. I know.

Oh my god. Like some horrible crash. It's an octopus joke. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ho hee hee. Okay, so she's not buzz joke. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ho hee hee. Okay, so she's not entirely invalid. All right, we'll... What are you doing? What?

He's assessing his new crew. This is what a professional captain does. That's right, and Jester, you would not want guilt over bringing in sweet Twiggy here to what could be certain doom. It's what we do, we seek out certain doom. Sounds fun. Yeah.

Just to allay some of our fears, were people actively pursuing you and chasing you when you got onto this boat? And if so, how many? Tell the truth now. Oh, I always tell the truth. Mom and Dad said very important to always tell the truth. May they rest in peace.

Thank you. To be perfectly honest, yes, there were quite a few people chasing me, but I'm super fast. Not really, I'm just really sneaky. Do you think they might still be chasing or tracking you or wanting to find you? Haven't really thought about it.

Oh, that's not great. Well, you said you got that nice little sphere there. Anything else we should know about? The fun ball of tricks. Fun ball of tricks. Yes, I will not forget again. Anything else we should know about that people might wish they had instead of you?

That's all I've got right now, but I do have kind of sticky fingers and the whole number covered in chocolate. Right. Okay. He's got the sphere. Got any long-term plans? Caduceus had it last.

He's had it, we've been trying, and I twirled. There was a twirl on the way back. Do you have any prospects, any long-term plans, goals? Like where do you see yourself in a year, let alone a week from now? Hanging out with you guys. Yes! Oh.

Best dance ever! What about Kiri? What about Kiri? What about Nott? What about Nott? What about me? We're all friends. What about Tally? We have to leave me? We're not going to leave me.

We all love each other so much. I'm a little confused at your concation as well. I'm going to Detect Magic just to get out. On me? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, do you think you'd be like, just try to replace her? There is a powerful magical essence

emanating from that sphere. Okay. But no one's got anything sitting on her? A different kind of magic, but comparable to the Dodecahedron in some ways. Okay. Same vibe. Yeah, and there was two faint magical auras

on her person. She's holding. Would he know? I mean, could he be able to tell? Should I? He would be able to tell that there are some things magical on your person. You wouldn't know any more than that. Jester, I'm going to leave you in charge of Twiggy, all right? We got to make for this island. You keep an eye on her. I don't want to see any chocolate thumb prints in my quarters, you understand, Twiggy? Done.

Okay. No, sir. I love her, though. Yeah, ugh. All right, you're in charge. Hey, don't steal from us, okay? Nope. Cool.

Say we're good. As Fjord gets the boat going, I chase after, I follow after Fjord. Cool. See, we're good. As Fjord gets the boat going, I chase after, I follow after Fjord. Okay. I'm going to, seeing as how she said there are folks chasing her, as we get going, go up to the crow's nest and just do a scan with my awesome perception, see if there's

any boats trailing us. Make a perception check as you clamber up to the top of the crow's nest and glance over the horizon. 11. Hey. Looking off on the horizon. 11. Hey! Looking off on the horizon,

you currently don't see any ships that are immediately pushing into the territory. Okay. You're following Fjord, so. Do you need help getting the boat ready? Ship sailing? Ship moving? Whatever. Yeah, of course. Feel free to lend a hand.

Am I the only one that's not beguiled by her charms? Twiggy. No, you're not the only one. I don't trust that shit. Nah, me neither. Yeah, I don't know why. Anything that cute, can't trust it. That saccharine?

Yeah, it's like you need some salt to balance that shit out. Have you ever noticed that Pomeranians are the nastiest dogs you've ever met? What's a Pomeranian? They're poofy. Oh. Poof dogs? Super adorable.

Yeah, I don't like poodles. Eat your face. I run over to them and say, Oh, Twiggy just did this thing with her tongue, where she made it into a circle. It was really great. You're going to see it later, okay? Okay. Not everyone can do it. It's really cool.

Maybe we throw a rover board. Not everyone can do it. Whoa! It's really cool. Maybe we throw a rubber board. I mean, that's, I think, a solid option. Like a plan D. When you were down there with her, did she try any shady shit, or is she? I think she definitely has some magic capabilities. She cast this illusion that made her hand

look like it was extending, and I mean, I think it was supposed to be cute, but it was like, you know that uncanny valley? It was a little weird. It's unsettling. Right. Okay. Hey, I have another question.

Yes. Since you're like captain now, right? You're captain? Apparently. Will you chain me to be your first mate? Yes, yes I will. Really? Yeah. Okay. Are you up for it?

Yeah. A lot of responsibility. You got to co-sign for the boat and shit. Yeah, yeah, okay. Take on it? Deal. All right, first mate. Stings you a little bit. Your wound's still fresh. Fucking cobalt grip.

Sorry again for being a dick. I think I've just been a little bit on edge with the boat. It's all right, I'm kind of immune. No, I just take it. It's really just like a knee jerk. It would have happened if it was anybody. You could have been a scarecrow, and I would have been like, fuck off, bro. I feel so special. It would have happened if it was anybody. You could have been a scarecrow, and I would have been like, fuck off, bro. I feel so special. Okay, let's go. All right.

You do also know, as you're heading into legal territory under the Clovis Concord, that you have a ship that is known and labeled as the Squall Eater, as damaged as it is. Oh shit! I changed it! We changed it! We changed it!

We changed it! We changed it! Take the sail out! Change it! Yeah, that's my call. Lower deck. Yeah. Do you want me to retank the? The Squall Beater, the Ball Eater. The Ball Eater. I need you to change it to the Ball Eater

as quickly as possible. Nott, I need you to hang over the side of the ship with a paintbrush. That is going to draw attention to us. Just inches above the water and change the name of the ship with a paintbrush. That is going to draw attention to us. Just inches above the water and change the name of the ship to the Ball Eater. It actually works pretty easily. You just add a line and then you paint over that.

Can you do it? I'm going to say don't worry about it. You'll be better at it. Don't worry. And again, this slightly hand comes off of my own hand. I flick it and it flies off and it comes and it picks up the paintbrush. I lean over the side and it goes down

and it starts to change your title for you without having to risk his life. Wow, she can paint, too. That would be amazing. Roll a dexterity check for me. I never remember to use it like that. This is dexterity. This is to see how well you can paint it upside down.

Yeah! It's apparently a Mary Poppins musical act. Apparently! Not only did she manage to entirely erase the beginning of the word squall, but has beautifully calligraphied the B of ball to where it looks almost like a set of balls, if interpreted that way. It has this nice sparkly border around it now. It's like, Ball-Eater! It's almost got jazz hands. Shadowed and decor. I agree with Caduceus. Kerning's very impressive.

Is this regular paint or the magic paint? This is regular paint. That's good. As a side note, I am hiding my magic paint like, whoa. Okay, good to know. We definitely would have. Sorry, it comes back up and it paints a mustache on him and I go, argh!

On who? On me. Oh! It was on me, I'm going, ah! Wow, that was very impressive. That's really good, that'm going, oh! Wow, that was very impressive. That's really good, that's really, really good. You've made some allies today with that. You're welcome.

You're a temporary pirate now. And my eyes get even bigger. It's a great honor, just don't mess it up. What were you saying? We should take the sail down. Yeah, I was going to say, we probably took stock of any colors that we have that we can run up that aren't associated with the Squall Leader.

There are no colors on deck that aren't associated with it. The only colors that are on deck were the colors that the ship previously sailed. We still have some fire damage on the boat, though. Oh yeah. We're going to play that. Our flag was burned. Our flag was burned. Okay.

That might play well. By pirates. We could paint a new flag with your brush. Yeah, but that's a really big amount of paint to use for a flag. Make a history check, Caleb. Okay. Are you ever going to use that paint for a...

Bitch, here's a... 21. 21? Yeah. You keep thinking on that sphere, and you've read about similar objects, especially the conjuration aspect of it, that are used as focuses for,

similar to a bag of holding, to maintain and contain things for powerful mages. Its construction makes you feel like it's very old. Like, probably pre-Calamity. Get the fuck out of here, what? Why is it named pre-Calamity? That's so old, though. Pre-Calamity is 800 years,

and there's a whole era of very powerful magic. 800, I thought it was like 1,000 years. No, 800 years ago was the climate, or a little over 800. Not such a good deal. I know, it feels like a long time ago. Just a second. Yeah.

Just thought you should know, there's a couple interesting magical auras sitting on our new friend. I thought it would be impolite to point it out or dispel anything. I try and respect people's personal intentions, but if you feel the urge to do a little identify at some point, that may not be a bad idea. I don't know. Just to make sure that everything that's there is meant to be there.

Noted. But I'm not getting a bad vibe off of this one, just a lot of sugar and being held up for a while in a dark, confined space can make people a little loopy. I'm also worried about traveling around. Well, I'm not a fan of the name Ball-Eater for this boat. No, that's probably, I also agree. I think it draws an unfortunate amount of attention. What? With pleasure, Marge.

On a similar note, I feel like our new miniature friend will also draw attention. That's fair. That's a very fair point. Maybe I'll have a very fair point. Maybe I'll have a chat with her. Get us on the same page. I don't know if she's necessarily going to listen to you, but that'll be a...

She's a little... Sometimes people listen to me. That's very true. You do have an air of authority. I mean, you do. Right now, I'm feeling really awkward about this whole conversation. It's purely from your face. Your face has done nothing, and now I'm just... It's due to tango. My palms are sweating at the moment. That really makes me feel better. I'll just disengage. I'm going to disengage straight up, then.

I am going to go find a little friend. That's fine, I'm going to go over and cook something. Would you say we're up in the crow's nest? Is that the good place? Or would you like to be somewhere else? I know you've been below deck for a very long time. Yeah, I climbed up on those things, and I'm swinging back and forth on the ropes and the hooks on the

main mast. Yeah, just wind in my hair. As this is happening and you're roaching, Caleb, you see Aurelie sitting there with this giant tortle arms, looking up at this crane tortle neck and going, How long has she been doing that for? Far too long. I'm going, How long has she been doing that for? Far too long. I'm in the crow's nest going, Twiggy, Twiggy, seriously, come back to the crow's nest, though!

Five more minutes! Oh no, oh no, oh no! Bitta, a moment of your time just to have a chat. You can keep swinging, but could you swing a little lower? Yeah, I jump. It's really light and beautiful. It's almost like I couldn't fall at all, and you just see me grabbing on the hooks. Like a little monkey, I just fly down the mast and jump down so I can sit right next to you. All of that movement is making me nervous. Don't be nervous.

Welcome to the Mighty Nein. That's weird. That's weird. It's sort of a running gag, but it's our name. I love gags. You know, if you're going to be traveling with us for a while, I have a few suggestions. Okay. Okay, so three. The first of them is probably when we get to land, it would be better if you kept a low profile, because we sometimes cut a rough swath wherever we go, and I can't guarantee that someone is not familiar with us, so I would hate for any danger to, you know, best not to call attention. No more friends. Don't make any more friends.

Well, just stick with us for a little while and see how that works out. I don't have that idea. Okay. The second suggestion is that you should meet my cat, Frumpkin. I put my hand over Trixie in my pocket. What's the matter? Does your cat like squirrels? Oh, my cat is very well trained and will not hurt your squirrel.

That is a promise. So is Trixie. Is very well trained? Yeah, I'm real good, sorry. It's me saying it, it's not Jaxi, it's me saying it. I'm great trained. I scarcely know what to do with you. We'll get to the cat in a minute, and the cat, I will so gladly introduce you to my cat, because I am very fond of him, and I love for people to meet him. But before we do that, the third suggestion is,

and a cast suggestion, I suggest you share any strange or unique arcane objects or things that are of threat threat even, with me just so I know we are safe. Make your wisdom save. Oh boy. Ooh! I have advantage on this. Interparty!

Wow. I have advantage. That's rough. 14. That's okay. 16. So yeah, it takes effect. No worries.

I scramble up to you and I try to sit in your lap. Oh, how about you sit next to me? I lean my head on your shoulder and I say, okay, so I have this little pouch and out of my bag, again, there's feathers and fleece and all this kind of sand and stuff I'm pulling out, but I pull out a little cube and I say, this is my achoo dust. Oh, put that back in your pocket.

It goes back in my pocket. Then I go, you want to see something cool? Always. I go and I lift up my cloak and I put it over my head and as I do that, another little Twinkie shows up right next to me. When I move, she moves. I go, look, and we do a little dance for you. I put my hand through one of the heads. One of them, yes, it's an illusion. Oh, that's good.

Oh, yeah. People have a real hard time getting me. Yeah, I'm not going to try to do that. Yay! Is there anything? Yeah, every time she goes into that pouch and opens it up, you can still see there, and taking up a large portion of it,

massively, it's like a distended backpack, is the slightly shifting clockwork of that sphere. I take my hood off and I go, neat, huh? The neatest. Do you have anything that is harmful? Or just those two things, including your puzzle ball? I say, well, these can do some damage. Use your hands? Yeah, okay. Well.

These are registered deadly weapons. Don't mess with me. For what it's worth, I apologize. And here's my cat. I turned Frumpkin the first night back on this boat into a cat and used the last of my supplies, so I turned Frumpkin the first night back on this boat into a cat and used the last of my supplies, so it's Frumpkin the cat right now. That's Frumpkin. That's Frumpkin. He's best cat.

Can I pet? Of course, he's already climbing up her shoulder. I can pet? Yeah. I pet him and he's like, oh, I love your cat. Ooh, oh, oh, that tickles. I tell him to do a blep.

Where? He just does this. Tuekin goes, back. No! All right, all right, you're okay. You can hang out with Frumpkin for an hour. A second time? Yeah, I sit on the floor, and Frumpkin for an hour. Funny! Second time. Yeah, I sit on the floor and Frumpkin and I

start booping each other on the nose. I go and I sit like 20 feet away and just watch to make sure everything's on the up and up. And that's eight hours, right, on suggestion? Yeah. Okay, cool. Well, until the directed activity is completed. Well, if she's shown me everything of arcane nature.

I've shown you all the magic stuff on my person. Yeah. So yeah, so Justin has worn off. Okay. I go, I know that trick. I give you a high five. It's down below. Yeah.

Most awkward on-ship high five ever. We're going to force perspective this shit. Oh, Twiggy. All right, so as your new compatriot for this journey seems to, for the time being, accepted into your wings, is there anything else you want to do? I'll be showing Beau the rope's first man ship. All right, so you're getting that situated.

I'll be finishing up some stuff in the kitchen. I'm going to run by Caleb one more time just to have a chat about what he saw. Just mention, we've got two magical spheres on board. That one's like a clock kind of thing. Technically three. Technically three. One is in Fjord's gooch.

Yeah. I was just thinking, I don't know, it's like a clock. Maybe that means time, I don't know, time's passing or something. Oh, I'm very curious about it. I would like very much to see if she is willing to sell it or part with it somehow. Or at least let you take a look at it for a while

or something, but maybe, I don't know. I don't know, it gives me a chill, I'm not sure. How are the others? I was not paying attention. Has anyone said how long it is till we reach land? Three days. Three days? From this point, it's a little over three days, yeah. Maybe she will lend it to me.

I'm going to teach to Yael about the Traveler. It's pretty cool. Cool. So the Traveler, she explains to you in a very, very truncated way, is the being that she worships, but talks with and taught her a bunch of things, and they've been a friend. Anything else you want to bring? I feel like he would like you a lot, because number one, he likes people that can be sneaky, because it's fun, right? And you can be sneaky.

It's the most fun ever. Also, he has a cloak, just like you have a cloak. Really cool. Also, he always kept me company. I know that you had a lot of time by yourself, right? So did I, and he always kept me company. Is he like, Trexie? He's not quite like Trexie. But he's more like, a traveler, and he comes and he's up here. Oh, that's cool. But you can talk to him and you can try any time. He's around, you know.

Hello, Traveler. I don't hear anything. Well, hold on. Okay. Give him a minute. Traveler, come on. I'm trying to bring somebody to you right now. I'm trying.

Maybe he doesn't like me. No, he likes you a lot, I'm trying to bring somebody to you right now. I'm trying. Maybe he doesn't like me. No, he likes you a lot, I can tell. Okay. Yeah. Don't worry, he'll make himself known to you. Yay. Oh my god. You had mentioned briefly that some of Avantika's men and helpers

had been armed with firearms, if I scout around, is there any ammo aboard this ship? Make an investigation check. I totally forgot about that. The first time we got on the boat, 29. Whoa! Where was that roll? 28. Doing a thorough pass on the crew's quarters, the remnants of the crew that now is arrested or

worse on the island of Darktow. Yes, you manage to scavenge up two boxes of firearm ammunition. Any that fit the gun that I have? Yes, actually. I stole a gun a while ago. Yeah, from Upper Duke. I think it was, right? Yeah. I don't think we were here. We never campaigned.

Oh yeah, you might have been here. I don't know. No, we were around before. So yeah, you managed to pull together 22 shots. Okay, that fit my piece. There are a few others that don't quite. They seem like they're made for more of a larger rifle type, but these particular iron balls will fit yours. No. Not like that?

No. That's a good shot. Cool. Thanks. Actually, going off of that, because I meant to do this last episode, did Avantika have anything fabulous in her wardrobe? Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were opening our closet. Oh, yeah. There are plenty of coats, hats, scarves, all kinds of things. Most of them in a

similar vein to what you see her wearing. Most of them are long coats with the sleeves removed, a high collar, big, billowing scarves and cravats that are varying degrees of well-kept. A lot of these, you can see she's had for a long time, and as such, at sea, there's weathering. Some of them have grown damp, got a little mildew at the very edges, but have been scraped off multiple times, which give it a cool look, but maybe a little bit of a musty smell. Bending! Yeah, there's a number of interesting outfits of a dead woman that you managed to scavenge. I take it for darker overcoats.

Okay. Yeah. Every day that we're, the rest of the days, I'm going to parade around the deck in her clothes. It's certainly not going to be in those hats anymore. Jester gives us a fashion show. This is dark. This is even for me, this is dark. All righty.

Anything else? This is still the same day, correct? Yeah, we can continue this journey to the second day if you want to, but it's up to you. Yeah, hello, your hour is up. I need my cat back now. My back. Okay. Maybe another day, though. You can see him again. I'm sorry that I used Arcane Trickery on you. May I borrow the Happy Fun Ball for a few hours just to play with it?

Okay. I take it out of my box and I roll it to you. Oh jeez. If you want this to poop coins, I don't think you should do that too much. I don't know, never was a problem before. You've had it for a week? Yes. Oh boy, oh boy. Okay, and I wander off with it. Okay.

To study it. Okay. Make an investigation check. I go and I put my head on his shoulder. Whatcha doing? I rolled a 16. Sometimes it takes a while for my mind to settle on truths, and I'm having a hard time thinking about it. You know maybe I will save this for later. You rolled a 16, you said? Yeah. As you're saying this absentmindedly, you find another portion of it that previously was locked in place and wouldn't move. You manage to rotate one band, and all of a sudden it comes

free and turns as well. You start shifting it a bit, and as you turn, a little cylinder extends a little bit, and you press on it, and you hear, and there's another burst. This one has a dull blue color to the burst of light. Suddenly you watch as four cut jade pieces of stones appear and hit the ground. Whoa, I never did that before. You just have to tinker with it a little bit. Holy cats. This is the best thing ever. I pick up the shade. Yeah, each one's worth about 100 gold.

Whoa. If you want to mark that down. Oh, yes. Upgrade. Are you still learning tattoos from Arlen? No, no, no, that's exactly where my mind went. Are you looking to sell this by any chance? Mm, I don't like money so much. What else you got?

Like a good trade you're talking about. That could work. What about... I'm going to throw out some ideas here. I'm going to start spitballing, because I'm very curious about this. I love puzzles. What about some sort of mystical tattoo? What would it do? Many things. Many things? Well, there are, I have been listening to my friend,

Jester, speak of them a lot, like all the time. I listen to her, too. She's got a lot of fun stories. That is true. This one time, she watched an ant carrying a piece of bread six or seven times larger than it upstairs. Oh my goodness. I've never seen anything like it. I never either, but I take her word for it, because she's on the up and up. Jeez. So maybe you talk to Jester about a mystical tattoo. That's one thing on the table.

You could be an honorary member of the Mighty Nein. Oh, well that sounds fun. I like friends. I do, too. I go up, I put my arms around him, and if he'll let me, I'll kiss him on the cheek. Oh. Aww. That's their base. I put my arms around him, and if he'll let me, I'll kiss him on the cheek. Oh!

Aww. That's their base. Instant death. Yes, make a saving throw. Take my piece! Take my cat! That's my next character. Let's kick some ass. Thank you.

Thank you for letting me play with your cat. Hey, you get the whole day. I chase after her, and we go play in the thing. You can still play with her. And you can play with the fun ball of tricks. Don't go shooting. Roll another investigation check, I guess. That was a fun time.

Good. That is a... I'm short-circuited from the kiss on the cheek. Yeah, no, I know, it's not helping. 22. 22. All right. From that place where you had it, you find one of the other grinding bands that felt like sandpaper whenever you tried to move it is now moving smooth, almost like it has no resistance. You twist that one around, and as you do, you hear this clicking sound. It fits into place. There's another piece around that you hear

this very, very faint sound. You look for it, and you find it, and there's this little knob. You turn the knob, and as you do, you watch as another section opens up on one side, and then this is flashing. You look over on the ground, and in the middle of the wood,

there's just a black hole about a foot wide. Oh, this is definitely a pinhead. Oh jeez. This is definitely pinheads. Whoa, I pick up the cat and I walk over. No, no, no. We're going to get pinheads. Have you ever seen this before? No, this is all new to me.

This we don't see through. No, you look and it's just black. It's just black? Yes. You can't see it in the next deck. No. Oh god. No, no, that is a very bad idea, Twiggy.

I would jump in. If you want to make that arrangement with your squirrel, you're perfectly welcome, but my cat is not going in that hole. Says the squirrel. For the moment, something, uh, Captain? Yeah, I'll come running down. Yeah, what is it?

And his first mate. Just, uh. You don't have to announce it when you show up. Oh, that's not about this. We'll get you a shirt or something. Okay. I take out five ball bearings and drop them into the hole. What is the?

You hear it hit? You hear, as you let go, they make no sound. They just disappear. And it's just traveling with the boat. Am I still seeing from the crow's nest all of this shit happening? No, you just see Fjord and Beau go down. What the?

What's going on? Is there any lumber or any, like, I don't know what it was. Are there any rifles left on this boat or anything long? Rope? Yeah, rope, is there rope? I got 100 feet of rope. Let me borrow that.

Plenty of rope on the boat. It's so much rope. I'm flustered. I start lowering rope down in, maybe five or six feet. Okay, it gets to about five or six feet. I pull it back out. Make that. Okay, it's rope. It's fine?

I don't know that it's fine. There's a hole to nowhere in the middle of the boat that came out of Happy Fun Ball. What do you call this again? Happy Fun Ball of Tricks. Happy Fun Ball of Tricks. Happy Fun Ball of Tricks. Yeah, that's right. So it creates things.

It creates bunnies, it creates gems, and it creates holes to... Put your hand in there. No, I'm not going to put my hand in there. I want my hand. I'm going to put the tip of my finger in the hole. Okay. The temperature feels a little colder, but it goes in.

Just feels cool. Take your finger out. Is it gone now? No, it's not. Oh! Do another one, do another one! I mean, at the very least, we need to put a plank of wood over this

so that nobody fall into it. It's gone. Oh! Oh, it only lasts for a little bit. I wonder where it would have taken us. I know. Yeah. Was it big enough for us to go through?

Like a person-sized wall? It was about a foot across, so a smaller person maybe, but a lot of you guys would have been a tight squeeze. Not Caduceus at all. Fjord, first mate, Beauregard, I'm glad you're here. I wanted to introduce you to the new honorary member of the Mighty Nein. Oh.

Morgasson. My goodness, you must have proved yourself greatly. Welcome to the Mighty Nein. My, thank you. We'll be the Mighty Ten! You know? That's how it is. I mean, yeah.

Got it. We vote on the name every couple months, but it's going to be a while. Yeah. Well, she needs a hat. Sure. Yep. The bigger the better. Chester.

Every pirate needs a hat. Do you want one of Avantika's hats? Are they my size? It would be really big on you. We put a hat on and it comes down to here. Even better. And as I move, it slides across. I'll tell you what. I will use my pretty paint to paint her a really cool pirate hat that is her

size. It's this big. It has the points on it. Exactly. What do you want? Yes, it has the tricor. And do you want feathers and stuff? One big purple feather. You got it, one big purple feather. You watch as she takes this couple of materials out and this pot of paint, and as she paints with it,

it begins to take shape and become a physical object representative of what she drew. Do you want any kind of sparkly stuff on it or a bow? Sometimes bows are really pretty. I have a feather already. Can you put a little squirrel? Totally. It will be like a squirrel figurine on this next to the feather. It will be really pretty. Okay. There we go. I take it and I put it on and I there we go. Poof, poof. I take it and I put it on, and I'm like, now I'm a real pirate.

You look like a really good pirate. Thanks. I will say what we have learned on all our travels on the ocean is the days are long and you have to make your own fun. Boy, you're telling me. The sphere is still locked in the place where you had it last, and that one little knob

is still visible from where it was. It seems like with each stage that you've unlocked at this, it's opened up another stage. It gets advanced. Pokey? A little bit. Less smooth and? Less smooth and there are more elements that are starting to protrude a bit. Does this thing every day shrink back in on itself,

or do you ever slide it back together, or has it just been getting more complex over time? I've never gotten it further than that first stage, so I don't know. Oh. Okay. Do it again, do it again. It took me a few minutes to, okay.

All you have to do is press on that to trigger it again. To press, oh. All on that to trigger it again. Where's Nott? To press O. All right. That hole appears again. Same size? Same size in a slightly different location. Nott! What?

Do you want to go in a hole? But what if the hole disappears while Nott is still in it? Sure, it'll be fine. I'll take out my lantern, and I strike it so that it's lit, and I attach it to a string and I start to lower it down the hole and see if it does anything. As the lantern hits the darkness, the darkness consumes it like water and once the lantern is

submerged within the darkness, no light. You don't even see the lantern. And then if I pull it up? Still lit. I feel like we should put our head through it. I think so, too, but you got to do it quick, because it's going to stop real quick. It's like a soul foot. Mm-hmm. Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.

I'm not doing that, no way! It's gone. Oh. It only lasts about a minute. You could have been decapitated doing that. Yes, thank you! Well, he says it lasts a minute. Yeah, it's been about twice.

A minute, no, a minute and a half. Each time it's lasted about a minute, yeah. When we've a minute. Yeah, it's been about twice. Was it the meaning of time for it? It's lasted about a minute, yeah. When we've timed it. Both times it's been approximately the same length of time, close to a minute. Jester and Beau, bolder parchment shears, figure out who's going to put their head in, he'll push it again.

Why do we care what the? Oh my. You have to do it. All right, I'll do it. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay. I'll grab on to her britches as she's doing it. I'm finally walking in because everybody's

eating after it and no one's eating anything. You're missing it. I'm going to just grab my feet just in case. Remember Event Horizon? Okay. Just grab my feet. Okay, I like grabbing. Here we go. Here we are.

I'll get ready with your words. The hole opens up. Oh wow. Go, go, go! 59. Are you okay? You look inside, it's darkness. Here we are. I'll get ready with the whole open zone. Oh wow. Go, go, go! 59. Okay. You look inside, it's darkness. That looks insane.

Draw me further! It's still darkness. You can put your goggles on. Goggles, yeah. All right, put goggles on, and you look at your face. As he pushes you down further, you hit something. It's soft, and you pull back a bit, and look, and there's a pile of objects there.

Take them! I grab a few. Okay, as you pull her out, she slips. Pull them back! As you're pulling, a few things start tumbling out of this thing and you grab and pull them in. All right, you pull out and you watch as she emerges, you have this pile of what looks like reddish cloth

and a strange metal object of some kind and a couple other things. You pull the rest of them out, it's dangling in, and as soon as it does, the hole closes. You look at it. Wow, that's cool, do that again. It's like a save in another dimension. What did you see?

What is it? What happened? So you look at it. First off, as they... She's just pulling her tongue out. Oh! She's just like in a lab. Yeah. A long mile. She's just making a loud noise.

You've had a piece. So you notice, first off, you hear as two boots fall out of this pile of clothes she has. These really nice leather burps that are fur on the top. They hit the ground. There's a metal rod of some kind that, it looks like a staff of some kind that you hold and pull there,

and the other thing is a bundle of this really, really heavy, warm, winter coat velvet material. It's a deep crimson red color with a golden trim on it, and as you unravel it, there's an embroidered symbol across the back of it. That's the symbol right there. Do we recognize it?

You do not. You guys have never seen this before. That's definitely an H with a M. Or it could be the tail of a whale. Oh my god, let me see this. You're looking at it there. There's not much more to it than that. The coat, but it's on coat, yeah. There's a watermark of Bjarke Tien! That watermark is part of the paper, it's not much more to it than that. The coat, but it's on the coat, yeah. There's a watermark up here, I can see it! That watermark is part of the paper,

it's not part of the actual set. Oh, I don't believe it. Don't do that! So it's the coat, it is boots, and the third thing was a metal staff. You look at it, and it's a metallic staff, maybe about three to four feet long, and it has a seam in the middle of it, almost like it's two pieces joined.

Was there anything else in there? It was super dark. I hit a barrier that felt like it was just a barrier of stuff. What if this ball is somebody's treasury or something? Or if it's their pink haversack. Oh my god. Yeah, that's what I mean. And they've been storing stuff in it. It's a vault. It's a vault? Yeah. Oh shit. I mean. And they've been storing stuff in it. It's a vault.

It's a vault? Yeah. Oh shit. We got to figure out what all this stuff is first. I mean, just so it's not a pole and a pair of shitty boots. Yeah, hold this, and I give her the dewhiccus, and I say, I need 30 minutes. And I gather up all this stuff,

and I just walk with it very happily. Okay, we'll say for the sake of brevity, the boots are not magical, they're just really warm boots. The cloak is not magical, it's just a very warm cloak. With that symbol on the back. With the symbol on it. The staff is faintly magical, and what it is is it acts like a hand warmer. You take the two parts and you slide them together and it clicks, and the metal emanates enough heat to warm the hands of whoever's holding it. This appears to be a set of travel gear

for whoever once might have had this. Santa Claus mask. I also use an additional 10 minutes to touch the coat and cast Comprehend Languages on this. It's a name. It's a name. Yep. Halas. Wait, what is Halas?

Halas. H-A-L-A-S. Well, we have just robbed Halas. Have any of us heard that name before? Do we know what language that name hails from? It seems to be, it seemed to have some roots in Zemnian,

but it's a divergent element. It's a name that hasn't been used in a long, long, long time. Kind of like... Archibald or... Yeah, like Melkor. Things that are old historical names. In fact, roll a history check. Old magic.

Natural one. Oh. It one. Oh. It slips from you. There's something like. Beau, when you hit that buffer, did it feel hard and solid, or was it soft and earthen? Or what did it? Your face hit the cloak. You're like into this pile of soft, heavy material.

It was cloak and stuff. Did you find a portal into somebody's wardrobe? It was cold in there. I don't know. He's saying that the staff heats his hands and there was a cloak maybe wherever this haversack was from. A couple ball bearings fall out of the cloak from what was dropped in there earlier.

Oh, cool. I collect them back. Well, at least it's the same place each time, so if it does close off, we at least know how to find you. Sure. Why are you looking at me when you say that? You're going in. No, I'm not going in. Yeah, you're really good at finding stuff.

I'll go in. If you don't want to go, I'll go with you. Want to go together? Into somebody's laundry bag? Why not? All right. It feels like someone was raptured and we're just stealing their stuff. Like, that's what it feels like. Just roll with it, though. I'll take a big swig and get ready.

When she was yelling on the other side of the portal, was there any sound that came between the two? No. Nothing. Okay. I'm going to tie this rope around your waist. Okay. And then this rope is going to come and it's going to tie around your waist your waist. Okay. Okay. And then this rope is going to come and it's going to tie around your waist now.

Thank you, thank you. So you guys are tied together. Ready to part now? We're going to hold it up top. Yes! Oh boy. Okay, you have a minute. Okay.

If you start to go too long, we're just going to pull you up. Okay. Or if you're ready to come back, tug twice on the rope. Yeah, yeah. I hold his hand, if he'll let me. Her hand.

Her hand, sorry, I hold her hand, if she'll let me. Of course. I squeeze her hand, if she'll let me. Of course. I squeeze it way too hard. Okay, are you ready? Yes. That's right, that's right. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! We jump in. One by one, you guys jump in, one after the other,

and you both tumble in and hit a floor. Okay, can we see anything? Looking around, you both have dark vision, as gnomes. It's a cylind. Okay. Can we see anything? Looking around, you both have dark vision. It's a cylindrical chamber. It feels almost like a natural rock interior. Doors out, anything like that? Any exits? No, it's just a little pocket. What do we see? What stuff? You see two other ball bearings you left behind.

That's it. It looks like you cleaned out what was in this pocket. Tug, tug, tug, tug! You guys emerge. That was so much fun! It was crazy down there! in this pocket. Tug, tug, tug! You guys emerge. That was so much fun! It was crazy down there! The lights, the monsters! Really? It was insane!

It was a parade of horrors! You're full of shit, aren't you? Yeah, there was nothing down there. That was it? No, it was nothing, but it's a lot of space, so if you wanted to store something for safekeeping, it's a good spot to do it. Can you read? The area on the sphere where you've been

pressing this button, you look and it's freed another area as well that can continue to be solved. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah, do it, do it, do it. So as a note, the previous function of the sphere, we can access, or is it one function at a time as it changes? As it looks right now, each function, you need to shift it back to use a previous function.

Each thing you slide, it unlocks the next use, but it closes off the previous one until you reverse it. Which I am memorizing. I go to Fjord. You've told us about the Halas thing. Yeah, sure. Does this have something to do with Sir Cadigan and Portamali stuff? Do you know a Hadaghan? Would I recognize the name Hadaghan?

You would. Cadigan. Cadigan. No, Halas. Oh, Halas? You roll a history check, too. To see if this is his old stash? Yeah, roll a history check.

Okay. That's absolutely horrifying. 10. 10. You know, if they did teach it, you probably weren't paying attention that day at the Archive, unfortunately. Would I know it in relation to Sir Cadigan,

the person I took it from? Roll a history check. Come on, devil. Somebody, come on. Three rollers. Hey! 17. 17. No, none at all.

You've never heard the name Halas before? Anywhere in Port Damali in any of your travels? Especially in relation to Cadigan. I turn to everybody and at first I go, nope. Sir Cadigan, who's a big old meanie, but I don't think he had anything to do with this. You've mentioned Sir Cadigan being a big old meanie several times. What did he do? Did you witness something? I can't remember. But I think I maybe liked this because of him.

Like what? Adorable? A little weird. Sorry. Talk some time. He made you socially awkward? I remember it was really dark and it was really long and I had nobody to talk to, so I made up all these people to talk to. Finally, when I got out, wow, is it a big, beautiful world. I'm so glad I met you guys. Were you trapped somewhere? Somewhere.

In this bowl? I don't think so. It didn't look like where I was. Okay. All I know is it was that burgoyle meanie, Sir Cadigan, that put me in there. What does he look like? He's like twice my size. Normal height? He's very skinny. And he wore this big ring.

It had a green gem on it. I remember because he used to stick his fingers through the bars to scare me. How'd you escape? I was real tricksy because I would sit there and I would think and I would practice all of my tricks and I was able to get him to watch my trick and he thought that I ran down that way,

but really I was hiding in the back and I snuck out and I ran the other direction. I was able to just run, run, run, run, run, and I've just been running ever since. This was in Port Damali. Yes. It sounds real familiar. Why don't you all take 10 steps back and we'll see what this next hinge does.

Yeah. I'm excited. Okay, you all step back about 10 paces. Does anyone want to help, or just you go with your standard roll? Yeah. Oh, investigation for it, yeah. Yep. Investigation 21. 21, okay.

That hole appears again. Like, I mean, you're not able to get past that point. You're hitting a barrier, and you're like, you're clicking it forward, and there's something about the puzzle that's escaping you. You feel like you're not quite, you're on the cusp. Can I help him? If you want to try it again.

Just try it again? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I'll try it again. I come up and I say, I've been practicing, let me try. So if you want to, either you both can roll individually, or one of you can roll with advantage as you're helping the other. I would give me the advantage probably. If you're helping him. I'm plus 10.

Oh shit. I give you the plus 10. You want to help me? I'm at plus eight, yeah, sure. All right, so as you hand the sphere over, Oh shit. I need me to R-able for those two. You want to help me? I'm at plus eight, yeah, sure. All right, so as you hand the sphere over, holding the places, Twiggy goes in and takes hold of it, and both of you together begin to try and rotate and figure it out.

I squint my eyes and I look at it real hard, and I roll a 28. Oh! So at that point, both together, you watch as Twiggy finds this small rotating piece on the very very edge that turns and turns, and as it does, another cylindrical sphere slowly emits from it, like you're rotating a pencil lead that pushes out. It takes three fingers to do it at the same time.

You twist it and you push it in, and it actually pushes in about an inch and then clicks inside, recessed. As that happens, the top part opens up a little bit. Caleb, you take that and rotate it. As it clicks into place, you hear Oh no. Flash of green light. Green light's never good. Fills the entire chamber.

That's where we're going to go to break. Oh! Never come back. Jaber! Never return. Well, that was a fun campaign, guys. It was a lot of fun. Don't do that.

Don't touch it, Mama Seagull. Wow. How many times did you mess with it? How many times did you mess with it? Like six? Remember that sphere? What's it do? What's it do? What's it do? I love it, I love it. All right, so before we go to break, we have a giveaway. Our fantastic

friends at Wyrmwood have this amazing dice trading giveaway. It is the Wanged dice vault with the Tegger Maple Inlay, the beautiful two-tone. This will be going to one of our fantastic victors to this. To enter, you have to head over to the Critical Role Twitch chat. That's twitch.tv slash critical role and enter the word stowaway. Stowaway is the word. Enter it once. More than that, you'll be disqualified. And once again, only for people in the U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec, because of

stupid giveaway laws. Anyway, we'll have the winner when we come back. We'll see you in a few minutes. Yay! Why, hello there. This is Critical Role's resident art dad, also known as Liam O'Brien. We are continuously amazed at the artwork this community creates. That's why each Thursday at 8 a.m. Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over on CritRole.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit critroll.com slash submit.

And thank you to all of the incredible artists who share their talents with us week after week. And welcome back, everyone. So before we get into the game, we do have a winner. The winner of our fantastic Wyrmwood Dice Vault giveaway this evening is ANTC underscore Clueless. Congratulations on your complicated online name and your victory. We'll get this sent to you ASAP. So.

Flash of green light and energy fills the chamber. As it subsides, you all take a second to blink as the light is dimmer than it was on the inside of the ship. Oh no. Looking about, you are in a very, very, very dark chamber. You're no longer on the ship. All of us. All of you.

Except for Yasha, because she was not nearby. Oh. All of you, except for Yasha, because she was not nearby. This chamber, it is somewhat triangular, but the corners are curved, and you can see at each of these walls, between each curvature, there is a banner hanging. About 12 feet off the ground on a brass rod, the banner hangs almost to the floor. You see four pillars a little closer inside the

chamber. Each banner is a different color. You see the ceiling's about 15 foot high, and there are two corpses in the floor nearby, both long dead and mummified, their skin paper thin and pulled against their bones, their faces twisted in horror. You see the light gray stone walls, and where these banners are, there's two on the side parallel to each other and two on the other. There is a red, a green, a blue, and a black.

And each of these banners has gold embroidery down the sides and a gold embroidered symbol in the middle. The same symbol as the cloak that you found. Did the happy ball of fun tricks come with us? Nope. Oh no. I cast Mage us. Nope. Oh no. High-caste mage armor. Wow.

All four symbols are the same on all four banners? Mm-hmm. Was it the symbol from the, I mean. It was Halath. Halath. Exits, do we see any exits? No. No exits.

You said, sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, go ahead. Pedestals, do anything on the? There are four pillars. Four pillars, sorry. They are smooth. They appear to be either decorative or load-bearing, but there is nothing about them that catches your eye.

If you want to take a closer look, you can make an investigation check. Is the ground dirt or gravel or stone? Stone as well. Okay. 12. 12. Pretty solid and featureless.

The two corpses, are there any identifying, what can we ascertain about them? Are they wearing clothing? They're both wearing clothing. Naked. Naked. Naked. You just get trapped in things all the time.

There's not much dust on them, which means either it's fresh, or not a lot of dust to have collected. For what you can see, none. Go make a medicine check. Does it smell like death in here? There's a faint scent, but it has, either these corpses do not emanate a lot of smell,

or it has faded in time. I send my mage hand out to move the blue banner aside, to see if there's any behind it. Just to give you guys a visual. Just to give us a visual. Right, right, right. You know, for kids. Definitely won't lead to anything.

Oh boy. For the kids at home. Guys, D&D Beyond. D&D! Check your Twitters and Giphy's for the gifts that have already started pouring in. This is certainly not a gift. This seems legit. Placing yourselves where you would like to be in here. If you don't mind, tell me where you would like to be.

Not in the middle, Matthew! I want to be by the corpses. I rolled a 19. Oh, no, wait. I used my magic. I want to be by the corpses. I want to be by the corpses. I want to be by the corpses. The corpses would be,

I was not a sick bee. What'd it feel? That was not a sick bee. Oh, no,, it was Robin. One here and one here. They're not right next to each other. Are they? I pictured a lovers embrace.

Do they look like violently ended, or do they look like people who fell asleep and never got up? Their faces are twisted in a horrible expression of ghastly terror or pain, but you don't see any wounds. Did you roll a medicine check, you said? Yeah, 19. 19, yeah. You don't see any wounds, any gashes? They definitely got to look like they saw something wicked awful. Their last moments were probably pretty terrifying. So you move aside the- With my mage hand from far away.

Yes, the blue one. As it pulls behind, you see it reveals what looks to be a statue that is embedded in the wall behind it. Up on hind legs with claws in front, you see what looks to be a dragon, made of stone, carved, wings blending up into the stone behind it, its mouth open, its eyes these very bright sapphires embedded in its head. Immediately as it opens up, the mouth lights up blue, mega dexterity saving throw. Oh god. Caleb, and Nott.

I also have evasion. Correct. Ooh, knock it. Don't do it. What'd you roll? I rolled a 10. Okay, still half damage. Yes, half damage. 13, failure?

25. Okay, so you take no damage as you dodge out of the way. The rest of you watch as this bolt of blue energy fires outward and you watch as a thick beam of electrical energy just shoots across the room. It hits by and skims the front torso of Twiggy as she just pulls out of the way. You watch Caleb spin and just take it straight to the chest as Nott ducks out of the way. Is this still the same day?

It is. Caleb, you take 18 points of lightning damage. Twiggy, you take nine. It is. Caleb, you take 18 points of lightning damage. Twiggy, you take nine. As Caleb flies backward, I'll summon the falchion and take a defensive stance. Okay. My hair stands on end a little bit from the electrical. Also, go ahead and make a concentration check.

Concentration? Just like a concentration? For Mage Hand, because I believe Mage Hand is a concentration check. I mean, it's a tantrum. No, it lasts for a minute, I'm sorry. You don't need to, so it maintains itself. That's my bad.

That's okay. Did the burst that came from the blue make it all the way across the room to the green? It did, it went across the room. Detonated on the other tapestry? It hit the tapestry and just dissipated. The electrical energy didn't seem to impact or hurt anything. So the mage hand will drop the cover back in front of that.

It covers the statue. And I'll dismiss it. Let's take a minute before we do that again, sorry! I have an idea, what if we put on the red cape and then it does something if we, like if the statue behind the red thing sees it? Halas's cape. Do we have it? Caleb?

Yeah, I have it. What did Donnur say? He's hurt. He's hurt. I'm so sorry. Caleb, are you okay? Twiggy just hurt him. I'm so sorry. I'm just going to do a quick cure wounds right here.

Can we do friends? Just one. That's good, oh, that's good. Take 13 points of healing. All right, let's take a second here. Who wants to put on the red robe? I think we should. I'll do it. It's your ship.

Yeah. I think we should talk to the locals before we do anything else. Who are the locals? Oh, these fellas. The dead guys. Oh, yeah, forgot you can do that. Oh, I can't pick, somebody else pick, I don't know.

Which one? Yeah, I don't know. The one closest to you. Yeah, okay. That's level three, right? Yep, yep, yep, yep, there we are. Does anyone else adjusting their position, or are you staying where you are? I'm going to make sure I'm not in line

with any of the banners. Yeah, ditto that shit. So I'm going to step wide, like next, well, I can't reach, sorry. The lightning came out of here? Yeah. Yeah. I'll go with the chest.

Everyone's missing. You're going to go that one? Yeah, I'll do this right back here. Okay, then I'll go with the chest. Everyone's missing. You're going to go that one? Yeah, I'll do this right back here. Okay. Then I'll be here, I'll be on this side of that pillar. Okay. Scoot me over somewhere, too, while you're up there in the room.

Where do you want me to go? Just near Fjord. Okay. Boom. All right. Caduceus, you're on the one nearest to you, you're casting Speak with Dead. All right, as you sit there for a second,

holding your staff, your shield strapped over the arm, your hand goes down, you close your eyes and focus, and you watch as the corpse on the ground, staring off, its eyes dull and the pupils smoky and gray. Just breathing, its chest seems to inhale and it holds the air there, awaiting your questions. I'm so sorry, friend. You have one more task to perform before we can let you rest. What killed The Wailing Creature. The Wailing Creature. What color was the curtain the Wailing Creat creature hid behind. Harnik's Blank. Okay, okay, okay, that's not a good one.

Good to know. How did you end up here? Yes, thank you, thank you, Jel. We had found an object and toyed with it. Just like us. Did any of his friends get out? What's the name of the?

Halas. Halas. What does the name Halas mean to you? I think... Well, that's no help. Four questions. One more. Oh god.

Did anyone escape? Or is there a way to get out? Do you know how to get out of here? That final bit of trapped air in the lung escapes and it falls to stillness once more. Give him a little pop and seed him for later. Okay, so you cast You Can Pose on him. Nice trick.

Thank you. Well, that was a little helpful. It was a lot helpful. So we know blue bad, black bad. Probably green and red bad. Well, maybe one of them is good. Maybe one of them is a way out of here. Maybe.

Or maybe. You should put on the robe. Did you put on the robe? I can help you put on the robe. I'm trying to put it on. Is it fit? It's a little tight on you, but it fits. You're slender for a half orc. I'm fucking fit, okay? You can be fit and slender. Eh, eh.

Maybe they're all bad. Hey man, you let strength be the dump stat. We could stand out of the way, and my mage hand could open them all. If we felt like we'd, I mean, it doesn't mean, there could be. The Wailing Creature could be. Yeah, it wouldn't matter where we stood. Yeah, but the Wailing, he is in line with the Wailing Creature. Have an idea? I can make a magical hut that nothing can pass through.

Damn it. That is an excellent way to try and figure out what the fuck's going on in here. I'm going to begin to take the minute to cast Leomund's tiny hut in the center of the room. Okay. An observation deck. In the center of the room. Ooh, the center. Ooh, ooh, deck. In the center of the room. Ooh, the center. Like one of those bomb shelter walls.

It's a 10-foot radius, and everyone is allowed to enter and exit. The radius would be a bit bigger than that. Yeah. So that would be the 10-foot radius. Can we all fit inside of it? Absolutely. Yeah. But I have to stay in the center of it,

whereas it is safe. Someone needs to step out of it in order to trigger the other. Can I send Mage Hand through it? I don't think magical effects go through it. You can stick your hand through the barrier and cast Mage Hand and pull back in, yeah. Okay.

Is everyone moving into it? I think that seems to be pretty good. I want to stay still as much away from a lineup as we, like, in front of the things. I mean, there's not a whole lot of space there, so. You know, it's just a thought, but if we have to open two of these that are facing each other at the same time

so they destroy each other, we'll probably have to drop that down. This is impervious to, yeah. We'll get there. We'll get there, we can experiment because this is impervious to. I like it. So we already know what the stories are.

Right. What if you unleash the wailing creature and we have to deal with it? Cannot come in here. What about sound? And how long does it last? Oh, hours. That is a good point, although you know

I have a decent supply of honeycomb. We could need it up and make earplugs for ourself. That is really resourceful. And I have honeycomb. We could knead it up and make earplugs for ourselves. That is really resourceful. And I have gum. That's just as good or better. You are clever. Yeah. Sure. Where did her gum come from? Survival.

Let's do some honeycomb, then. I'll prepare it. I'll take the gum, I'm not proud. It doesn't taste like the true one. Thanks, Caleb. You're like, I was told to put things in my ears, but I'm doing this. I'm going to soften it up with my mouth. Before and after, okay.

I wonder what's behind green. Yeah, me too. Okay. Do it. All right, so I'll sneak over to that side so I can see it, and I'm going to put just my hand outside of the area of the hut. Oh man. You don't have that hand, you got another one.

It has vocal components. Do I need to lean my head out? Don't make this the second time I've taken a hand of you. Oh my god! My new hand is so cool! Sorry. Okay, so if there's a vocal component, only I have to be able to hear. Do I need to stick my head out?

As far as you know, it doesn't affect you in a volume or noise way. Okay, so I whisper something and I move my hand and that silvery spectral hand comes off and it goes forward towards the green. I pull my own hand back and get back into the space and I tell it to push the green flag aside. Okay, you have to move over here probably to get it in range. Yeah.

Okay. So as you pull back the green tapestry. I'm going to crouch, even in the thing. You crouch down? Mm-hmm. Okay. As you pull it back, you see a statue behind it that looks to be some horribly mutated humanoid creature. Its body is bulbous and covered in sores. Its neck is swollen like a toad's.

Its mouth and jaws just open with rows of teeth, all made of stone. As it pulls back, this gaseous green fume spews from its mouth that fills the chamber around it. About half the chamber begins to fill with this before it dissipates, but it does not cross the boundaries of the hut.

Ooh. Yes. I scratched my idea. Sound, like a beam, there's a screech, there's a gas. Light sound gas. Smell. Sound. I don't know what goes next. All right.

What are you doing next? Should I try it? Do the red. All right, I move over to be in line with the red. I stick my hand out. What's behind curtain number three? It flies out the spectral hand. I pull back into the safety and it pushes aside the red.

Pulls aside the red and behind it you see emerge a wooden door of red painted material and what looks to be the similar symbol of Halas painted across the surface. That's the way out. She found the way out. Can the mage hand try to open it, you guys? I can send my hand to try and open it.

We are still safe in here. Sure, go on. Yeah. Yeah? I think so. Captain Fjord? Proceed. Sweet. So I whisper and I direct it a little bit

and it comes down and it grabs a knob, a handle. There is a handle there. A handle and it's going to turn. Lock? It's locked. Ooh, Fjord, look in your pockets! Why? Of the red robe! Look in the pockets of the red robe! I call it back to me, and I pull out of my purse a little set of tools on a ring, and I give it to

the hand and whisper it off again to go see if it can pick the lock. The hand hovers across, go ahead and roll. Ability to check, adding your dexterity modifier and your proficiency modifier. My thieves tools. Yeah. Okay, great. That's a 29.

Whoa. I don't have to do shit. I'm just going to sit there drinking. It takes a few minutes. This is an intricate lock. As you go ahead and watch the hand finish with the third tool that is being held between the mystical pinky, you hear a slight clink, like a spring snapped or moved. Okay. The front of the door here bursts into flame,

burning out in the area. It burns solid for a good 30 seconds. Just burning out in the flame. All of you are being lit by this bright heat. You're wincing from the heat that you feel you should be feeling, but it's all being held at bay by the hut's boundaries. Eventually the flames die out. The door, tapestry both untouched. I pull the hand back to me and I take my keys back in my pouch.

Can I search the pockets of the red coat? Sure, you go and make an investigation check. It feels a bit extreme. Yep. You never a bit extreme. You never find the pockets. You never find the pockets. Two? Seven. There are no pockets in the robe.

No pockets. So that door is still closed. It's like a heavy cloak, if you will. So there's no way in or out, and every door is bad. Well, we haven't pulled the black one curtain back yet. Well, there was the wailing one. The guy said it's the wailing. We should see what it is, though. Yeah, but we have heard everything that happened outside of this bubble, and if it is

wailing at us, I just don't know what that would entail for us. That just says that the door is trapped, not necessarily that the door is unopenable. Yeah, that's correct. You could at least give it a whirl. Give what a whirl? Picking that lock, we're in here for another seven hours and 40 minutes. Oh, I thought you picked that lock, the red one?

I thought it triggered something. Yeah. But you feel confident. I'll send the hand back out to try the handle again. Oh! It opens up. You've got to follow through. Yeah, you've got to follow through.

Sorry, guys, I'm a little absent-minded. I mean, this is a lot going on right now. This is a... So we have a way out. Should we just go out, then? I'm going to double check these bodies for things before we go, so. You got Frumpkin? Yeah.

If anyone wants to help me with an investigation check. Oh, wait. You want me to look? Yeah, please. I'll go look. I don't care. Go for it. You're going to help me? Sure. They drunk, going out there.

Oh my god. 27. Whew. You give a thorough pass, and they are picked clean. In fact, you find the belt on one of them seems to have been broken forcefully, and wherever what looked to be a couple of pieces of leather that's pinched, where a belt pouch may have been resting for a while, missing.

So somebody has completely rolled these corpses and picked them clean already. Whoa. Huh. Sorry, buddy. Seems that they were robbed before they came in here. It's weird. Or while they were in here. Oh, that's even crazier.

Is there a way to tell if they were robbed post-mortem or pre-mortem? I don't know. How would you tell? Make a medicine check. Medicine check? Is this a bone strip? I mean, you could actually tell.

14. I mean, you glance around the areas. There's not much to really pull from that material. You don't see any heavy bruising like they were forcefully pulled from them while they were living, necessarily. It's hard to tell. Okay. Before we do anything, I'm going to whisper to Jester, you know, I like Twiggy, but she picks all the locks. She does the Mage Hand thing. She does the Hideous Laughter thing.

She paints. She makes a duplicate of herself. She has a cute animal. And she likes chocolate. Are we being replaced? Is this some joke? I mean, I don't know. Maybe they don't need us anymore.

Maybe they brought her on purpose and they don't need us anymore. Maybe they brought her on purpose and they don't want to anymore. Oh my god! It's possible. Let's kill her. When the moment is right. Okay, okay. So what are you guys doing?

I am placing Frumpkin outside of the bubble, and I am going to go look in the next room. I love that cat. Okay. Roll perception check, Frumpkin. 13. Okay. Frumpkin goes up to the doorway and looks, and it is a dark hallway, no light. Frumpkin sees a little bit of light, but it's above. There seems to be an

incline. It's above and to the right. It's not a straight, narrow hall. It seems a little oddly angled. You know, I could throw some light out there, but I don't really want to announce our presence. What do you think we should do? Does Frumpkin hear anyone? He would have told me if he had. I can't hear you. We did just cause a giant lightning thing and a giant flame. I feel like our presence has been announced. Yeah, we're fine. I'm going to lie to my staff at any rate.

I come out of it. So now you have the light source from the staff emanates and the chamber's lit well. I don't really want to announce our presence if there's somebody out there. I don't know want to announce our presence if there's somebody out there. I don't know. Wait, this is open, so. Ooh.

So you know what you're shooting. I got to use that pizza. We're not going anywhere in here. Who wants to come with? All of us. Yeah, although we should probably have someone check ahead just for traps. Ooh, I'm sneaky sneaky, unless you want to try.

No, no, you just. No, it's fine. You do not, you got it. I'm fine. Have fun, tell me how it goes. Jester, now, y'all okay? You look a little old. We're fine, we're fine.

We're fine for it, everything's fine. Don't worry about us. Right? I mean, what? They just turn on you that fast. I don't, I think that, we'll talk later. Okay. Caleb says nothing.

Oh, nope. In fact, Twiggy's not even really going to wait. She starts to chase the cat. Like she wants to go see the cat and the cat. So Twiggy leaves the radius and starts heading towards the farm. I'm going to sneakily do it, though. All right, little stealth check. 17.

17 is good enough. All right. What are the rest of you doing? You watch as Twiggy just leaves and starts heading towards the door. We have to go. We should follow her. We all follow Twiggy. Yeah. All right. I'm going to watch everyone safely go to the door and not get killed and then drop the bottle. I walk behind Fjord and I cast

Blessing of the Trickster. I touch her back, yeah. It would stay here, yeah. Yeah, but we'll know it's there just in case. All right, as everyone finds their way to the door safely, you feel the moment to leave the field. Oh yeah, if I leave, it's gone. Oh, well then, never mind.

So the hut vanishes, spells expended. I tell it on this fucking roof! All right. Well used, my man. You guys exit and make your way into the hallway. The hallway itself drops temperature dramatically. It's similar to the space that you guys were in last time. You feel for the edges, and there's no real shape or texture to it. It's just solid. It feels almost like stone, but not quite. It's hard to place. As you're stepping

in the chamber, I would say Nott and Fjord, you both get a hint of vertigo. Oh, shh. You glance and you take a step into the hallway and it's an incline. You look up and you can see the light. It's hard to make out, but you see a faint bit of light at the end of it, maybe 100 or so feet ahead of you. Vertigo just from the shape of the room?

Just stepping into the room and having no real idea of any real, where the walls and ceiling and floor are. It just looks like a black shape and you're feeling some walls, kind of, but they're a little rounded. It's a strange aspect of this hallway. Does the floor seem rounded, too, or is it? The floor just seems like a steady incline.

We don't see light or anything at the end of it. You see what looks to be the end of the tunnel, but you can't make out what's on the other side. It's too far. Can you make light? Is there anyone? We need light. I was making light. I don't know if.

Your staff, yeah. Yeah. As Caduceus steps in with the staff, the light seems to be crushed down to where you can still see the faint bit of it there, but there's something about this hallway that's swallowing the light, or at least compressing it towards,

not really giving off much of a radius while you're standing in it. For god's sake, I don't even. That's weird. You're going to press ahead? I mean. No other way to go. Can you see anything, Beau?

Or? That's what I was, yeah, I was going to ask, it's like a forceful darkness and looking at Fjord get nauseous, does this remind me of any ghostly presence that I experienced before? Not necessarily, but make a perception check for me. Or do I recognize it as an obvious arcane effect? Make an arcana check. Oh my god. I'm sorry.

It looks like a head is moving. Natural 20. Oh damn. 11, so. You can't make out much detail beyond the end of the hallway. You, however, there's something about this that feels extra planar,

meaning the end of this doorway, whatever's on the other end, is being tethered by something that is not really material space. You don't know what distance you're traveling between these two objects. Ew. Okay. All right.

I relay this to the group, so we jumped dimensions to get here, and whatever is laying before us is not a hallway. In a way it is, but not the traditional sense. It might even be the way back out. It might be, yeah. As we turn around and look at the door that we came back through, are there any markings

above the door or around it? Perception check. I'm going to roll a grave, too, just to see if anything. 20. 19. 19. No, in fact, it's weird because the doorway itself is this well-carved, inlaid, beautiful door.

You step in the hallway and look at the opposite end. The hallway is just flush with the exterior of it and seems to curve out into the rest of the hallway. It seems intentionally placed to match perfectly, but has a natural feel to its shape. It's weird. You said we could see the end of this passageway, but not what's beyond it. Correct. I'm rolling eyes at the grave just for the hell of it. Right. Nothing. All right, nothing came to that.

Well, Twiggy? I'm happy to keep going. All right. All right, marching order, please. I'll be in first. Twiggy, 15 feet behind everybody else. Twiggy, who's after Twiggy? And I'm skipping.

Who's after Twiggy? I'll go after Twiggy. All right. Twiggy, who feet behind everybody else. Who's after Twiggy? And I'm skipping. I'll go after Twiggy. All right, who's after Nott? I'll go after Nott. I'll go after Jester. I'll be after Fjord. Caleb, the back. Always.

Hey, we're sort of in size already. You know in haunted houses, a lot of the time they attack the person in the back. I'm paying attention. I'm skipping Stumbley, continuing my Skipping Stumbley. Like Bugs Bunny. So. No, that's a creepy song. That's from Insidious.

As you continue along this hallway, walking, it seems, it takes you a moment to realize, but as you're moving forward, the light seems to turn. Whatever this source is, the light shifts, whatever source is there seems to have some sort of movement. As you're paying attention, the closer you get to it, you begin to see it's like a flickering of firelight. There's a flame-based light source within whatever this next area is, but it seems to be rotating. You begin to make out shapes, vaguely,

of what looks to be things within that room, but it's rotating as you walk. It takes you a moment for you all to realize that this chamber you're spiraling around in, but there's no change to your sense of gravity, but it is a corkscrew movement. Oh, that's creepy. Eventually, you come to the end of the hallway,

and as you can look inside, it appears to be some sort of a warm interior. It's a crafted den or a study of some kind. But the angle you're at as you come to the end of it is at a heavy, steep angle. You see all these bookshelves and a desk across the chamber, and there are candelabras in there, but they're all this harsh angle,

but they're not sliding, they're being held in place by something. Or we are. By gravity. I'm going to try and use thaumaturgy through the door just to see if I can affect the flame before we enter. Okay, as you cast thaumaturgy, no effect. Well, that's weird. Is it in front of, we can't, it's like?

Well, I'm not in there yet, I was just sort of curious. The flames we see are between us. The flames you see are inside the chamber, and you haven't entered the chamber yet. Pathometry doesn't seem to take it. But are they in the way of us entering the chamber? No. Oh, okay. I was just curious if the magic would follow through.

Apparently not, or whatever is in there is not real. I don't know. Can we see any movements inside, outside the flames? Make a perception check. Come on, Jessie. Well, 11, no. No movement beyond just the slow movement of flames. Is there any scripture or writing on the?

Interior of the hallway. Yeah, like to enter this door? Make a perception check. Natural 20. Yo. Natural 20. Yo! Natural 20. All right, looking around the edge of the hall, the ending, you don't see any script

or any sort of symbols. Looking inside the chamber, though, as you get close and peer within, this is definitely a study of some kind. There are bookshelves upon bookshelves that round different areas. You can see a desk on the far end with a chair there. You don't see anybody in it,

and across from where this desk is, as you get close and push past Twiggy and Nott to look inside, this is a tall chamber. It's maybe about 60 or 70 foot tall. Taller almost than it is wide, and on the opposite end of the desk, above this large collection of bookshelves, there is a heavy stained glass window that's about 30 or 40 feet tall and about 40 to 50

feet wide. Is there any image in the stained glass? There is no light source behind it. You can see that it's stained glass and there are colors to it, but there's nothing behind, no daylight to really make it clear from this distance. You'd have to get closer. Do you see any other exits in this tower, this chamber? Not from where you're standing, no. But you guys still have not entered the chamber.

Yeah. Wait, should we do it stealthily? Yes. I think we're about to enter into someone's. I'm going to cast Pass Without a Trace on all of us. Okay. Thank you. So everyone gets plus 10 to their stealth check, and I would like everybody to roll

a stealth check for me, please. 21. 34. 15. 32. 17. 20. 24.

24. All right, overall, very good stealth scores. You feel pretty confident that as you one by one enter the chamber, bracing yourself to slide down with the curved floor, and you stumble and trip as you enter because as soon as you step in, your whole perspective shifts and gravity is as it should be in that chamber.

So you all step in at an odd angle and then have to catch yourself as you have to reorient yourself in an instant. Like stepping off a moving sidewalk at the airport, but way, way worse. Yes. Was a neat trick. As you all step into the chamber, let me get a visual reference for you.

Go, go, go, go, go, go. So many points today. A visual reference. The raven and the rook is a thing that I don't have any information about. They make badass notebooks. Yes, that's right. Ring-based. Oh, hey! It's in Duras' ship.

Ooh! Look at all those books! Whoa, there's a ladder, you guys. We like ladders. I love a good ladder. Yes. Pushing into this ship. This door a good ladder. All the time. It's a good ladder. Pushing into this chamber. This door is already open.

It's a door that works! You guys all step into the interior of this den of some kind. I'm not looking at your notes, I just can't look through the wall. That's fine. Where's the fireplace? Is it straight across from the wall?

There's no fireplace, but there are candelabras throughout the chamber that give a light source that flickers throughout the interior. That's all bookcases. This is all bookcases, these are bookcases, these are bookcases, these are bookcases, this is a closed bookcase, there's a small desk here and a large desk here, and the stained glass window

stands up there. Those books look like you could remove them and play with them. Caleb comes. I know. Nosebleed. I'm going to try the candelabra again, see if I can get the flames a little brighter.

Okay, once you start, all the flames flicker brighter, causing deeper shadows across the chamber. Reel it back in. All right, that's good enough. Okay. You say, now we see a door and it's open? That's the door you came through. But there's no other doors in this room?

Make a perception check. You guys entered from that side. I will look for a door that's cocked. Six. Six. Looks pretty solid. Your stained glass window was on which wall? This wall.

Gotcha, thank you. There's a ladder over there as well. Looks like these are all set aside for climbing and getting higher. I'll climb up the ladder and get just under the stained glass window. Can I see through the glass or at the glass, or is it above me?

No, you can see through it. It starts maybe six inches off where that platform starts and then continues up for the next 40 or so feet. It's looking through. It is darkness, void, a lack of light. The only color you're able to make out is what the candlelight from the inside of the chamber

is enabling you to see from the inside, from this side. I'm going to maybe throw some illumination up so we can see the window a bit better. Okay. So as you all step in the middle of the chamber to look at the stained glass window above you. What's the rest of the stuff, guys? Next couple.

I was going to say, I was actually thinking about getting up, does that weird corner ladder? Over here? Yeah, sure. Place yourselves where you want to be. You're going to have loft position, Stalis. I like a good loft. Since I was a kid. As there's more light in the chamber,

you can see now above this desk, there is what looks to be a 12-foot tall, six-foot wide picture frame. In the picture frame, from the side angle, it has no image, but as you step into the center, an image comes into shape. You see what looks to be a tall, 10 to 12-foot tall portrait of a man,

thin, of light brown skin, long dark hair that tumbles past his shoulders, a very thinly groomed chin beard that falls to a point about three or four inches below, to a very, very sick point, wearing a red robe with gold trim. So, so, so does he have a ring on? sick point, wearing a red robe with gold trim. Does he have a ring on?

He is wearing a handful of rings on his hands, billowing sleeves folded across his lap. His eyes are a piercing amber-yellow color, and his lip curls ever so slightly into a knowing smile. He doesn't look like Sir Cat again, does he? No. Okay, that's what I was going to say. What about a green ring, though?

Is there a green ring? Can we see his feet? No. Okay, that's what I was going to say. What about a green ring, though? Is there a green ring? Can we see his feet? No. Wait, wait, wait. It's like a lap up. Say, describe him, wait, say him again? Do all of it again. Thin.

A tall, thin man of light brown skin with long dark hair that tumbles past his shoulders, a very thinly groomed chin beard that falls to a point about three inches below his chin, wearing a red robe with gold trim and with billowing sleeves that fold across his lap. His eyes are piercing amber yellow, his lips curl ever so slightly into a knowing smile.

There you go. He's got lots of rings on. Yeah, he's got some intricate rings on his fingers. He's wearing a red robe, you said? Yes. Okay. It looks like any of that symbol? It looks like almost the same coloration,

the same deep red, the same gold trim. Oh look, I bet that's that guy, that's his robe. What's it? He's thin and he's. Guys, I really want to know what's in the closed cabinet. Can I go look? I would check for things. Yeah, we want to. Should I use my fancy hand again?

I think both of you should be taking a look around with you at this moment. Well, that's happening with the stained glass window, now that you have light that's illuminating it. Oh shit. So. There is no backlight, so it's just light you have on it right there.

It shows clusters of different colored circles and disks arranged in a strange tethered pattern. You see what looks to be different colored disks, different sizes and colorations that are laid into this with fragments of dark blues and grays in between. They are all tethered by these silver threads and various tangled, it looks like a crazed synesthesia equation, if you will. Roll.

Anybody who's trained in arcana or history, go ahead and roll. Don't fuck me, Gil. 15. 15. Okay. This arrangement you begin to make out is a layout of the planes. The transitive planes of the ethereal and the astral between the realms. You see these clouds of gray and light blue that mingle and create the Venn diagram where everything overlaps on top of. They act as the threads that hold these things together and connect them in between. The inner planes, showing the elemental chaos where the primordial elements were ordered into following the founding of Exandria. You can see where the flaming sphere is placed here, and there is the

water and the wind and the earth, and that is the scattering of these inner planes. Is there a You Are Here sticker? Yeah. Yes. The outer planes, where the realms of the divine exist, are scattered and connected, all surrounding the material plane on the outer side. What you both notice, two things are off about this.

One, there's no Divine Gate shown here. In this whole layout, there is no reference, and most maps or sketches or historical designs of this type of a layout contains the Divine Gate, because that was a major event that happened after the Calamity and separated all the gods from the mortal planes. Oh. Old man.

Just like your device. You get the sense this might be, this was designed before the Divine Gate was ever created. Number two, there's an additional shape, smaller than the rest, a tiny ruby-like circle that floats in the Astral Sea that is not tethered to anything and seems to not really fit within your understanding of the cosmos.

A small ruby circle. A ruby. The same color, the color of a ruby. A ruby in the Astral Sea? Aw. Does it blink, shine, shimmer, move? No, it's just the same type of material as everything else that the glass window is made out of. Aw. Does it blink, shine, shimmer, move? No, it's just the same type of material as everything else that the glass window's made out of.

Where is that amongst the planes, the little ruby amongst the sea? Is it in between two searches? It looks like it's sitting in the center of the Astral Sea and it doesn't have any tethers. Everything else seems to be tethered by these silver cords, almost, that puts in this large tapestry. That is just floating between all the lines in the middle of the astral sea. By its location, I'm going to touch it. You touch it? Yep. Okay. Oh shit!

You touch it and all of you hear this loud, heavy shattering sound as the window just shatters into a hundred different pieces, all of them stopping about three feet from the window, and freezing in place. You watch as Fjord, standing up before it in this void, gets sucked into the darkness, and the glass windows close behind him. What?

What did he touch? Are you serious? He touched the? No one technically was watching. The red bubble? The ruby? This is some labyrinth shit, motherfucker. What? Where did Fjord just some labyrinth shit, motherfucker.

What? Fjord, no! Fjord, keep out of here. I guess I do stupid shit. So what are you guys doing? What? We'll get to you later. We were on the way to the cabinet.

Yeah, there was just a room full of stuff. Why does that make it sound so interesting? How can you focus on the cabinet right now? Because maybe it'll tell us where it went. Okay, okay, you're right. There might be information in there. Let's go look at the cabinet. So we go look at the cabinet.

I will support you and help you and aid you, but judgmentally. Okay. I'm going to run up where Fjord disappeared. Okay, as you guys approach and look. I was actually technically watching from downstairs. All right, so you guys notice him vanish. There's no like, where did Ford go?

You heard the wall explode, him disappear, and then it reset itself in place. Okay, let's all just be very careful before we do anything. I like his style. Don't rush me. I know a lot of people are doing a lot of things, but eventually, get to me, I'm going to start ransacking the desk for notes about that.

Okay. Caleb's heading over to the desk. As you're walking by, Caleb, there are books and books on these shelves. You notice that all the books have a brass binding around them, like a lock, like a square-shaped manacle that is affixed around it, and it looks like all of them are locked in some way. There might be ways to open it, but it looks like whoever left this alone did not intend for anybody to open it but them. That looks like an open book at the end of the room, Caleb. I'm looking for a way to help Fjord right now. Okay. You guys are over at the opposite end of this closed thing. This also has a brass bar that is bolted and affixed to the

closed cabinet. Take it. Unlock it, yes. You want me to do it? Yes, I will aid you. You'll aid me with some thieves tooling on it? All right, so go ahead and make a, with advantage. 27.

27. You manage to find an area underneath the bar where there's some sort of a button press or symbol, and you get one of the tools underneath, push it inside and turn as area underneath the bar where there's a button press or a symbol. You get one of the tools underneath, push it inside, and turn as you do, the bar. While Tiki does this, she sticks her tongue out the side of her mouth. Mm-hmm. One eye closed, and she's able to unlock it. It appears to be unlocked. Okay.

Let's open. We both take each one and open up the cabinet. Okay, you open the inside of the cabinet, and it is empty. I don't buy it. Let's feel around. Stick our hands in. Okay, you put your hand inside the empty cabinet,

and it immediately closes on your arms as teeth suddenly emerge from the sides of the door. No! Shut up! I need, no, actually, this is an attack on each of you. This is an, oh, that's cocked. Okay, that is 23 against you. Okay. And that is 17 against you.

Hits. All right. Each of you suffer 14 points of piercing damage. Uncanny dodge. Yeah, uncanny dodge. All right, so both of you take seven points of piercing damage, but you are both currently grappled as it is slammed on your arms in a very The Thing kind of way. The guy's chest opens and closes. It's some John Carpenter chest. Yeah, it's some John Carpenter chest. It closes on you, and you see on each of the doors, where

the striations of the wood are, they split. You see these eyes peek through. I immediately turn around and invoke Duplicity down on the ground near them. All right. As that invoke Duplicity appears, where do you want it to be? Right next to them. Okay, so you guys are up here right now. For Pete's sacred flame. All right, I need you guys to roll initiative. Oh boy.

Don't tell me that. Nope. I'm going to do it anyway. Oh. Do it anyway. So, 25 to 20. 20 to 15. 17. All righty.

Marisha there. Marisha there. There you go. 15 to 10? 11. All right. Whoa, you guys. Beau's going at the same time as the cabinet. Beau's going at the same time as the cabinet. Beau's going at the same time as the cabinet.

I love saying that. That's an actual phrase that exists. I'm so happy. All right. It's stretching your legs. 10 to five. Five, but I rolled a natural one. Okay, gotcha.

Caduceus? Three. All right, move down. All right. I don't want to move up to the next one. Okay, gotcha. Caduceus? Three. All right. All right. I don't even know what to do. So Jester. It goes alongside the beginning of my runes. All right, Twiggy, you're up first.

I'm up first. First, I would like to, if possible, try to extricate my hands from this. Is it possible? It is, you have to use an action to try and escape with an ability check. I'm cool with that. You can choose either acrobatics or athletics.

Acrobatics! All right. That is a 19. 19's enough, you managed to wedge your arm just I even have to put my foot up. Pull out, and you managed to free yourself from its grasp. Cool. And yeah, using my bonus action,

I want to disengage from it and back up a little bit. Okay, easy enough. Manage to back up to there. All right, that finishes your go, Nott, you're up next. Same exact move. Two peas in a pod over here. Yes, that's a 23. All right, you go ahead and manage to pull yourself

free of it as well and back up to this side. Bonus action, disengage. I pull away, no worries. I pull up my arm and I go, twinsies! Ow! So much blood. All right, that finishes your go. Beau and the cabinet go at the same time.

Your dexterity is higher than the cabinet's, so you go first. Oh. It's a cabinet. Hey, that's great. It's got four legs. Some days you lose, some days you beat a cabinet. Believe it's patient. What are you doing?

I look over and I go, They're fine. And I go upstairs with Jester. Okay. You're not going to wail on this cabinet, bro? Nope. I don't give a fuck right now about that cabinet. All right, the cabinet. Yeah. Now I care. Yeah, this is full on, we're talking like

Dark Side of Beauty and the Beast here. Making its way forward. It does notice it's an illusion and just steps through it. Oh! That's ridiculous. That's a perceptive cabinet. It is. It is large. So it moves through and it's going to

attempt to bite, as both of you, it can bite whoever is adjacent in front of it. So it's going to, as you guys move back, it's going to try and open and try and swallow you up into it. All right. It's going to attempt to lean forward and pull you into the cabinet's mouth.

Okay. Against you, Nott, that is, oh, that's a 12. I don't think that hits. Do I roll against that, or? No, it's just a hit. Oh, does not hit. Yep, and against you, natural 18. Oh yeah, you hit.

Yeah, all right, so you suffer. Now, did that first Uncanny Dodge count as my reaction, or can I? You've had your turn since. Yeah. So you have your reaction. So I can use it, I can have it. Yes, you can. Okay, great.

So it would be 16 points of piercing damage is reduced to eight. However, you are can. Okay, great. So it would be 16 points of piercing damage is reduced to eight. However, you are swallowed. Oh, she's eating it! So you're inside of it right now. It just scoops you up. He watches it, lowers down, and just slams the cabinet shut as Twiggy's legs,

as it pulls back, the legs are kicking there, and like Audrey, too, it just sucks her inside of the cabinet. I'm so loving you! It's okay, it's okay. She lived in a box for like two weeks. She's used to this. Caleb, you're up. I am going to trust my friends to take care of the monster

and I have a feeling about the desk. This is what I would do. I would think that there might be something in this men's desk, so I start looking for anything. Make an investigation check. The desk is a manic. It is a 16. 16.

Taking a minute to glance through a couple of things. One, you pull open one of the drawers and you see what looks to be a glass jar, about this big, that contains about 100 or so of these small glass beads. There's that. You go, okay, that's that. You look on the desk itself,

you can see there's a large vial of ink about that big. It's a heavy vial of ink with this big red quill placed next to it into a little cap. What else is there? This is a death trap? This is a fucking death trap. There's the cork that's been removed from the ink vials that are next to it on the table. You see what looks to be another cabinet, a small porcelain doll made of porcelain and silk.

It's crafted to look like a young woman in a very fine blue and black silk dress. The hair is long and silver, and the hair in particular is very realistic. Too much detail. I love how the DM describes it. That's all you find in the desk. Okay, so then what I do is think, all these things can kill me, and I back away from the desk. And I'm going to move as far as I can away from the dresser along this way.

Does that put you there? No, I'm sorry, I meant. I'm saying you're at the desk to search it. Yeah. So that's five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, maybe as far as you can get. Exactly so, yeah. All right, that finishes your go, Caleb.

Jester, you're up. Okay, I'm going to turn around with my duplicate. Beep. And I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds on the cabinet. Go for it. Can you do that? Yeah, you can. Okay, I'm going to do that at the second level. All right, second level. So that's 4d10 damage?

Whoa. Yeah, that's 4d10. So roll to hit first. You have to roll a d20 and then add your spell attack. I hit the side of a barn door right now. Yeah, it's not hard to hit. It's a cabinet. 17. 17 definitely hits. Go ahead and roll damage. Since your illusion is immaterial. Does the cabinet have a French accent when it talks?

You'll find out. The potion is immaterial. Does the cabinet have a French accent when it's cocked? You'll find out. Meow, gimme. Nom nom nom, I love me some nom flesh. I have been here for so long. Nom nom nom. 20 points. 20 points of damage.

Yes. I have no detentions to calamity. It's angry. All right. Oh god. You watch as the burst of the necrotic energy slams into it and the cabinet shakes in place. The eyes roll in pain for a second and they withdraw into the wood before they pop out once more through the doorways. It seems to almost chew for a second in anger, but it looks hurt. It's not bloodied, but that was a hefty hit. Not bad.

While she was doing that, I was like, so I feel like I saw him, you know, look over here somewhere. So over here. Yeah, I'm paying attention to her and going, uh. Yeah. All right, that finish your gestures go? Yeah. Caduceus, you're up. All right, I'm going to.

I'm just going to... I'm just going to hit it with Sacred Flame. That's right. You got caught up in it. Hit this guy with Sacred Flame. Sacred Flame is dexterity saving throw? Yep, dexterity saving throw. Nope! It's not very fast, this cabinet. I didn't think it would be. That's not bad. That's 14 points of damage. 14 points of damage.

14 points of damage. You watch this burst of divine energy around it with this faint aqua glow to it as it burns around it. The area where it hits, you see the wood darken and splinter. Its box-like shapes are beginning to warp and twist a little bit as it's starting to give up a little bit of its instinctual form. Now it's looking hurt. Spit it out. Spit it out! That finishes your go? Yeah. All right, Twiggy, top of your turn. First things first, it's digesting you. You take, ooh,

that's 15 points of acid damage. Okay. But you are inside of it still? Yeah. Cool. But I'm inside. Because I have an ally within five feet, can I attack it from the inside using sneak attack? I'd allow it. Okay.

There's few places as exposed and vulnerable as the inside of its mouth. So yeah, I'm going to just hang out for a minute and attack it from the inside. Okay, you are restrained, so it's disadvantage on the attack, but it is also the inside of its mouth, so try it out. All right, let's do it. Let's do it, because it's fun. Disadvantage is an 18 plus seven, so I think that's pretty good.

Deborah, can you be here ever again? Okay. So that's nine from my initial hit, piercing. Then with my sneak attack, another four and six. So another 19 total. 19 points of damage from the inside as you jam the dagger up into the top of the cabinet where the muscles, it's a combination of wood striation and weird liquid muscle that are pushing against you as it's digesting you, and

you just jam upward where you imagine the head might be. As you do, you hear from the inside, and it begins shifting and quaking, and the muscles are beginning to spasm. I need to make a constitution saving throw, which it fails and spits you out. Yay! You are prone on the ground adjacent to it, but it does like. What does its digestive juices look like? It is a coating of semi-translucent-looking film with a very faint greenish texture to it, but it

mostly looks like spittle, like a very thick spittle. And I'm covered in it. You're covered in it. We're talking Ghostbusters Slimer hit cover. Or wipe it as I'm lying on the ground. I wipe it out in front of my face and throw it on the ground and growl at the cat. You still have movement. I do have movement. And as a bonus action, I can disengage.

You can, so you have your movement to get prone if you want to. So. Unless you want to crawl. I think I just want to crawl. I think I just want to, am I halved if I crawl? But I'm halved if I stand up anyways. Your call.

I'm going to crawl. All right. So I'm going to go back half some 15 feet. You can get under the table if you want. Yeah, I'm going to go 15 feet back from the table. I can't hide, but I'm going to get under there, because it's not that smart. Leave this little trail on the ground

as you get under the table. Just like slug slime. You got it. You don't know what book's right. Not your first. You're very smart. Is Jester's duplicate considered, like, is that? It does not count as an ally. Okay, well then I will bonus action shit.

I won't bonus action. I will just move away from it. Okay, you step away. It takes some time of opportunity with you. It's going to attempt to try and bite at you and consume you. That is a 15 to hit. What's your armor class? 16.

16! You just managed to duck out of the way as it slams shut inches from your body. Okay, I'll skitter behind near that candelabra and bonus action hide. All right, so you're going to attempt to hide over here? Well, I was going the other way. Oh, this might be where you managed to bonus action hide? All right, roll a stealth check. Okay, 19 plus a million, so it's 29. I think we still have Pass Without a Trace. 39. You feel pretty hidden. Just throwing it out there.

Then I will attack from a hidden position. You actually, I don't think, have Pass Without a Trace because I invoked duplicity, but whatever. Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's why you stole it. Okay, so that is a 24 to hit. You do have advantage in the attack because it did not see you. Still 24 to hit. It's confused where you're coming from.

That is, let's see here. 9, 8, 9, 12, 16, plus. So that's 21. Plus I'll use Fury the Small. So that's 28. I was going to use one of my explosive arrows, but I have three and one of them doesn't work. Correct. So I don't know which one I drew. Roll a d6. On a one or a two, it's the defunct one. It's a two. Perfect. Well, regardless, how do you want to do this?

Yay! Where do I shoot on a cabinet? I'll wait till the doors are just a little open and just try to thread the needle and jam it right through its mouth heart. As it vanishes into its mouth heart, the cabinet closes shut, the eyes go wide for a second, and you're waiting for the explosion. You're like, It's filled with pepper.

Yeah. It goes, and starts sneezing heavily, but as it's sneezing, the wounds that it's taken are causing it to just sneeze up its blood. It's just leaving puddles on the ground until eventually the eyes roll back and falls into the ground. That cabinet had a mother. That was rippy gross straight through.

Busted up a chip room. Am I duplicate? Maybe be a little more careful about the... Fjord, Fjord, Fjord. He's gone. Fjord. Yeah, what are we going to do about it, Nott? Are you okay?

Are you okay? No, I'm power of two. Is the room filled with books, Caleb? I'm a goblin! Make a choice. I'm going to join the women up top. You're my sister. Is there anything I see on the top of these cabinets? There's all this space above, and I want to see if there's anything in the thing. All right.

Come on. I'll take that. That's a 17. 17. Looking up there behind one of the cabinets, you see a small stack of books that haven't been categorized yet. They're still locked with the same bronze binder, but it looks like they were set aside. Somebody just threw them up there to get to later. Hey, Twiggy, can you grab that stack of books over there and throw them at

Caleb? Or take a look at that. You got it, friend. I'm still covered in disgustingness, so I start wiping it off and shaking like a dog. It flies everywhere. All over the place. So where is it? Up here. Up there, yeah. So I'll scamper up next to him. Let's take a look at these. Do you want me to take a look at it? Up here. Up there, yeah. I'll scamper up next to him.

Let's take a look at these. Do you want me to take a look at it? Let's just look at this lock, see if it seems trapped or something, or I don't know. Yeah, I'll check it for a trap. Yeah, go for it. Make an investigation check. 25.

25. They do not appear to be trapped, but they are definitely locked. Okay. These bronze clasps around them. Yeah, just go for it. So for one book? No, 13.

One book, you try and get there, and the lock breaks. Your fingers are slippery. One of your tools snaps inside. Wipe it on this, wipe it on this. That's okay, yeah, that'll... I tried. There's the second book and the third book. Okay, second book?

Okay. 21. 21, that book, the metal brace opens up and the book is available to you. Hey, Caleb. Caleb, we got books. Are there any sigils or writing anywhere on the frame of the window or in the window? Make a perception check.

Balls, five. Looking around, no, you see the smooth glass of different colors and you see the seams that hold them together where it's been sealed. You can see the various colors and shapes around it. Okay. You're panicking a bit. I want to climb down the ladder and look for anything, not books right now, but are there any buttons

or switches or anything out of place? Anything besides just decor and the library? Did anybody see what he was doing when he disappeared? Yeah, he was looking in this area, and he was like, ah, and then I feel like I saw his head go over here, but then the bookshelf was in the way, so I saw him, I couldn't see what he was reaching for.

Did anyone check this desk over here next to the portrait? Yeah. This one Caleb checked earlier. What about the far desk behind the mimic? No one's looked at that necessarily. I'll go snoop around there. Okay.

So you are going to go ahead and head to that desk there. Make an investigation check. Maybe I try to talk to the person. Perception check for you. Perception or investigation? I'm looking for hidden switches. Oh, I see. Yes.

Make an investigation check. 18 from each. Okay. 23. All right. Looking around, you see, amongst all the books that are latched in, there's one big, beautiful, red leather book

with sapphires embedded in it along the base. It's locked in and it's placed ostentatiously in the center of the center bookcase right there. You don't catch any other hidden chambers, but that stands out. Probably not a board. Okay.

Yeah. You, checking the desk, it is locked. It is arcane locked. So I can't pick it. You look at it, you're like, this is not moving. You're not sure if it's trapped necessarily, but glancing at it, you're like, this is locked, and it's locked in a way where you're not entirely certain

you could try, but it's going to be a very hard lock. I'll try. Go for it. Natural 10. Total of? 20. 20? It's not budging. Should we open the last book? What's the title of the first book that we opened? Yeah, is there any markings on the one that we opened?

Not opening it, just looking at the... Interestingly enough, the book's titles are not visible, they're just blank, and then once the binding comes off, the title appears in the front. The title of this says, Public Debate Records, Form of Zydel. Yon. All right. Third one?

Yeah. 20. 20. That one comes off. This one, no title appears. You see instead a burn mark appear on the front, like a singe. That's a burning. That's very interesting. Maybe here, let's bring it down to the table

and we'll open it from a distance. Yes. All right. So yeah, we'll bring it down and put it on the table. Shall my magic hand do it? Okay, you're watching them come over with these two books, and they put them on the table in the center. So the one, it has a burned slash on it. Should I open it with my magic hand? Everybody stand

back? Yes, of course! We've got to find out what's going on. Okay. Yeah, I turn around and watch it happen. It goes forward. We're all standing back. Which book do you open? The one with the burned slash on it. Okay.

As it opens up, the pages pull open and come to rest. Nothing happens. It's just a book? It's a book, you can see there is a place on the inside where a name might have been placed, but that also has been burned off. You can see from the way it opened up, there are a few pages torn out.

It looks to be maybe 100 or so pages. Nott, Twiggy, would you both come here, please? Yes, of course. This book. Yes. The ruby one? Yeah. Do you see anything that could hurt us by touching this? Do you make anything of this?

I will search for traps. I'm going to help you. Investigation. 11. 11? If I help him, can he have advantage? Sure, if you're helping him out, yeah. I'll help you. 13. It's hard to say.

It's definitely a very pretty book. It's trying to get your attention by the way it's designed and placed. Doesn't look like it's dangerous. Looks safe. That might be a... Make a perception check, Caleb. Yeah.

22. 22. You're paying attention to this layout, and they open this book on the table, and you glance over at it, and you look back at the book. Those are spell equations. On the one on the table?

The one that they just opened on the table. Yeah. The burn one? The burn one. Has spell equations in it. Okay. We have to get Fjord out of that window somehow. Take the book, at least take the book. Hey, I've got an idea. I don't know how much time we have,

and yes, we got to find Fjord. I'll touch that book. Mm-hmm. Touch the one that's open? Yeah. Okay. You touch it. It's a regular book. Touch the one that's open? Yeah. Okay. You touch it. It's a regular book.

All right. Caleb, do we have the happy fun ball? No. It's gone? It didn't come with us. Do you have your haversack? Make it an investigation check, Beau. We could just take a bunch of books,

put them over there. And since Jester's helping you at this point, you can do it with advantage, because you guys are both kind of planning out what to do. Yeah. I'm taking a look at that other book really quickly as well. The publisher. 19. Thank you. Gale, 24. Skimming over it, you actually, looking at this, wait for a moment where Caduceus is walking and

the light hits it and you can see a point on the glass where you can just make out the faint dimming of the reflection across the smooth surface, the fingerprint left behind by Fjord. In a very Sherlock Holmes moment, you see the one moment across the glass where it's not quite as shiny and there's that single bit of red that's embedded in the glass. What do you see, Beau? Hmm. Feels like something recent. Okay. I think I know what Fjord did. Hey, Caduceus.

Yeah? Or Caleb. Yeah? Can either one of you put light behind this stained glass? I can try. I'm going to try. Backlight it? I'm trying to cast light on the other side of the glass. On the glass, on the other side of

the glass. Put it on the glass. Technically, it has to be something you touch, so you can put it on the glass. I can throw it. Light as a cantrip is a touch spell. Is it a touch spell? Yay, you are not wrong. Well? I'll get down so that you can get up and cast it. Yeah, I can't put it on the other side of the glass, because I can't touch the other side of the glass.

Okay, what about me? Put it on this side of the glass. I will make four globules of light, and I will try to put two of them on our side, and two on the other side. Okay. As the globs appear on the opposite end, they're snuffed out. I think we should just touch it, you guys.

No, that's where I am. Yeah, I was going to say, I have a feeling that's where Fjord is. I think he touched this thing, which... Yeah, of course, of course. Yeah. Make an intelligence check, Caleb. I don't know if breaking it is...

12 plus just straight add the intelligence? Mm-hmm. 17. The void, the vacuous darkness behind this reminds you very closely to the hallway that you traveled in here on. I mean. It's not here. It's maybe the way out.

Probably. Or somewhere else. Our options right now are to pull the mysterious ruby book, to touch the glass, or to keep searching. One of you little ones, please, would you use your magical hand to touch, there's a jar in that drawer, and there is a bottle of ink. If they are safe to touch, but don't use your fingers.

I'll send my hand for the jar. I'll get the ink. I'm going to head over towards that other ladder really quickly. You can go ahead and cork the ink and take it with you. To come up on the level where Beau is? Well, there's that weird desk behind there. Have we looked in that desk that's behind the? Yes, they did not want to look, right?

That smaller desk? Yeah, what was in there? Oh, it's got an arcane lock. Can you undo an arcane lock? Maybe. Can you dispel it or something? I'll try Dispel Magic. Why the fuck not?

Okay. I cast Dispel Magic on the desk. All righty, just double checking. Oh boy. A conundrum. And right now Fjord's just having coffee with Grog. What's your name? There's release of arcane energy across it. The divine energy, you see the sparkles slowly fade as

your concentration ends. Give it a go. Okay, I'll try to pick it again, I guess. Okay. I'll head up to look at the stained glass. It's not locked anymore? Oh, it's try to pick it again, I guess. Okay. I'll head up to look at the stained glass. It's not locked anymore? Oh, it's not locked! Oh, we opened it.

It's like a. It's one of those roll top that slides up. I want one of those. A thousand year old roll top. While they all do that, I go, I'm going to see how Fjord's doing. Oh! I hit the ruby.

Okay. As this is happening, the glass shatters. You watch as both Beau and Jester get pulled in. Oh, sorry! Oh shit! And it closes back behind them. My actions affect other people. Fuck! Twiggy says, the time to be bold is now!

And I'll run up and touch the sandbox. No, no, no, Twiggy, no, no, no! Twiggy says, the time to be bold is now! And I'll run up and touch the sandbox. No, no, no, Twiggy, no, no, no! Shh! Twiggy's gone. What a bunch of fucking idiots we are. Let's take a look and see if there's anything on that desk. And then there were three.

So half your party is now gone. Who knows where, what are you doing? I'm grabbing the debate book and I'm looking at that desk. Yeah, I'm looking in the desk. Okay. It's empty. Oh no.

Don't do this, I made this mistake before. It could be alive. Goddamn it. I give up, let's go find everybody. All right, you guys go back up? Yeah. All right. This place is weird.

I did grab the debate book. Not me, not me, not me. I'm staying with Caleb until the bitter end. So you stay behind. Caduceus, same thing, shatters, pulls him in, then closes and reforms itself. This is everything we ever wanted. A room full of books, and it's just us. Should we just stay here for a while? They're all locked. All these books are locked. I can pick them all. I just need time.

Take 20. You got one. I walk to that shelf over there. Are they free? Do the books come off the shelf, even though they're locked? These books, as you pull, they're stuck in the shelf. It seems like the mechanism has locked them into place. A mechanism, I can try, I can try. I'll try to unlock the shelf. It seems like the mechanism has locked him into place. A mechanism? I can try. I'll try to unlock the mechanism. Try a single time. What am I rolling?

This is to unlock. This is your thieves' tool. Thieves' tool is 23. 23. The book comes free. Okay, okay. I put it in my bag. Okay. I like that you never check for traps. It really adds to the end of the day. Just the two.

Just do the two next to that one. Just the two next to that one, and we'll go. Yeah, yeah, they're very good. Just the two next to that one. He's rolling, he's rolling. Just do one more, just do one more. All right, I'll try to unlock the next one. Okay.

That's not as good. 12. 12. 12? Stop moving, stop budging. I'll go to the third one, I'll go to the third one. Ooh, that's better, 28. 28, second one comes free. Okay, okay, we're going to go follow them

and we're either going to die or get out of here. I hope we get out of here. But all these, you're sure you got all the spell books? We need the spell books. Come on, I need them, let's go. I all these books, you're sure you got all the spell books? We need the spell books. I need them, let's go. I can just see if there's any more loose books on lower shelves that I can grab on my way out.

I climb up and I'm screaming at Nott. Let's go, let's go! Any other books? As he's moving up there, I mean, there's a bunch of books on the bottom row, there's the center row with the big shiny book, there's the top row with all the other books. Torture to me, let's go!

Let's go on the lower shelf and let's go. Okay, do you go and pull? They're in place, there's the top row, all the other books. Torture to me, let's go. Two on the whole shelf and let's go. Okay, do you go and pull? They're in place. There's no loose. I'll try one. All right. Didn't work, 15. Okay, doesn't work, doesn't come free.

Okay. All right, I'm going. I wonder how many nails you've got before. You press the button. After you. I can't reach. Take her finger and I push our fingers together on it. Boop.

Closes behind. Newkippy. Something fun, kids. Move this out of the way. Oh, you're cautious. We could have done the ruby book. I came to destroy you. That was a red herring. That was a trap.

So Fjord. Or the spellbook that answered all trap. So Fjord. Would the spell book have answered all your problems? Fjord. The sensation of being rapidly thrust through darkness at a breakneck speed is tough on you for the moment that it's there. Your sense of physicality is stretched for just an instant, infinitely.

A point of light rapidly growing towards you until you're pushed through a circular portal of some kind and you're falling. You're falling forward. Gravity is pulling you in this direction. Make an acrobatics check for me. What's up? Eldritch Blast.

That's roll one. Oh no! You fall 20 feet. You suffer four points of bludgeoning damage as you slam down onto a circular stone, a dais that's rising out of the middle of this chamber about two feet up. You slam into it.

You get up. You can see now there's smattering bone fragments across this platform and the floor around it. Bone fragments, bones. You look around you and you can see you're standing in the center of an arrow-shaped chamber. It pulls back a little bit behind you, but to the back right of you, there is a long hallway that goes into darkness that way. To the back left of you, there's another hallway that goes into darkness behind you. In front of you, the chamber continues on for about another 40 or so feet.

There is what looks to be a dead end, it curves to a dead end, and there is a pedestal in shadow with what looks to be an orb there set under this pedestal. Before it sits more corpse fragments surrounding glittering coins, jewels, lots of jewels and gems. What little bit of low light in here is catching them. What little bit of light there is, it's just the dull blue light. You can look up and the portal that you fell through is this faint blue sparkling loop that is the only light source in

here. The rest of it's through your darkvision, but you can just see the faint flicker of it reflect and refract through these scattered gemstones amongst this pile. It looks to be a curled mass of deep cerulean blue scales. You hear a heavy snort from under a large, rigid horn as a pair of blue eyes, pale blue eyes, open in focus onto you, the body of the large creature remaining at rest while its folded wings twitch. Powerful, but surprisingly slender, this young blue dragon lifts its head to address you. Oh no. Don't worry, you get back up in about five minutes.

You're only allowed for 20 minutes. 30, really. That's it. You just took a short rest. Holy shit. I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay! Let us grow! He's going to talk to you, he's going to talk to you.

Oh god. The smell of unfamiliar sneak thieves binds us. The way is shut to you. I apologize. I seem to have stumbled into somewhere where I am not welcome. That you have. If you would simply point towards

the exit, I would be most obliged. You're not entirely certain where the pile of loot and the creature's body really begins. It's partially submerged into this nest that it's burrowed itself into. And beside from its neck, it slowly begins to extend as its head lifts to meet your height.

You can't really see the rest of it. It just looks you over, its eyes taking in your shape. Where's the fun in that? Why are you here, little morsel? Can I be entirely honest with you? Oh, please. I have recently been putting my hands where they don't belong.

And this time, it sent me to you. And what have we learned? Probably to look and not touch. Good. Tell me, what else have those grubby hands touched? I'd like to know the flavors to expect. Well, you know, I do have a very salty variety myself, and I'll summon the falchion in my hand. Oh no. The falchion appears, at which point the head curls back, and one of the arms.

You hear coins scatter as the impact sends bits of its loot across the stone floor and into the shadows around. It's been a while since my food has played back. Now listen, I don't want to disturb you any further. I'm just going to see myself out stage left over here. You have a nice day and enjoy your vast fortune and I'll just start to walk towards that left tunnel.

Okay, as soon as you turn, you hear another as the other arm impacts, the ground shakes a little bit, make a perception check. With disadvantage, because you hear another as the other arm impacts. The ground shakes a little bit. Make a perception check, with disadvantage, because you're scared as shit. Oh my god. What gave you that impression? Oh my god.

Natural one. Natural one! You can't even focus. Your eyes blur for a moment. Yeah, it's just small tears. Jake legs. Jake legs. Shake it off.

He stands there and goes, Calas has not returned in an age. You shall keep me entertained for now. That's funny. I've actually heard that name before. Alas, we saw some of his belongings. Before you devour me like a tiny little shrimp, would you mind a small request

in letting me know who that person was? Make a persuasion check. I am charismatic. Oh my god. 23. Oh! Still standing, you glance over your shoulder and you can see now its form.

You can see it's maybe from wingtip to wingtip about 20 or so feet. The body itself is not incredibly massive. This is a younger dragon, but it's still a fucking dragon. Cool when there are six others, seven others, and that reason. It turns its head curiously towards you and breathes. As it does, you watch these crackling blue bolts between its teeth, arcing between the jaws. It opens up slightly, the tongue running itself

over the front. I don't know where he walks these days. It's been a while, but we have an arrangement. An arrangement, you and he? Yes. I keep watch on some of his surroundings, and he sends me food and gifts. One day, I'll be big enough to eat him,

and this will all be mine. But until then, I'm fine with the flattery. How does he send you these, I assume, are these incredible gifts? He leaves little pockets around the world. I don't want to bring up a touchy subject, but I feel like your friend might be dead. He thinks for a second to himself. Time does move strangely chamber to chamber here.

If he is, well, I guess that makes me Lord of the Manor. Oh no. You hear another. Man. Are we in a house? More or less. Man. Are we in a house? More or less. If you can call the hundred or so chambers here a house.

Jeez. You know, I hate to leave you without a friend. I mean, if this guy's up and left you high and dry, maybe I could offer my services. Make a persuasion check. Roll fucking high. 14. He goes,

No, I appreciate the offer, but I tend to work solo, and let's be honest, I'm hungry. There are a few flashes from the center of the above hallway as a few bodies fall through. You watch as Beau and Jester both come falling through. Bill and Ted stop. Both of you guys make dexterity, acrobatics checks for me.

I was trying to try and chill. Natural 20. Nice! You three-point land. Die! Good. 12. You three-point land.

You have no idea how happy I am to see you, my favorite dragon! Five points bludgeoning damage to you as you land. As you land, the dragon rears up, caught off guard, wings up in the air. I'm going to go ahead and pull the mask off. Oh my god! Dragon fight!

Oh my god. Oh my god. I... D&D Beyond. Oh boy. None of these ones have been hired. This feels like a lot. Damn it.

Oh, cutie cutie cutie. Oh boy. So for this, Jester landed there. Fjord, sorry, Beau is prone there. I started to take a step to the left while facing the dragon. And the dragon is right there. Okay. The minute he rears up, I'm going to invoke duplicity again.

Well, let's roll initiative. So. I would say. Okay. That was a good one, I was going to say. What the? I'm going to roll a five grade, maybe. There's a lot happening here.

I'm going to give it another chance. Rolled a really shitty initiative. Did he? Yeah, he rolled a two. So 25 to 20. Only those present? Yeah, only those present. 20 to 15?

16. 15. Six. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Okay. And then six for Jester? Yeah.

Why do warlocks only have two fucking spell slots right now? All right. Top of the round, Fjord, you're up. Looking down the end of this chamber, it's dark, there's no light source, but you have darkvision. You'd have to, to perceive anything in there, you'd have to make an action, but it's up to you. What do you want to do? Uh, uh, huh, uh, huh, huh, huh. Your choice right now is focus on the dragon or explore your surroundings. I'm going to focus on the dragon. What are you doing?

Because my friends are here, and I'm going to focus on the dragon. What are you doing? Because my friends are here, and I'm going to cast Blink. Okay. So for that, we're going to go ahead and throw the, Blink Concentration? I don't know. It is not. Correct, yeah, so you're not even concentrating. All right, cool.

So you cast Blink on yourself. And with my bonus action, I will set Hexblade's Curse on that blue dragon. Hexblade's Curse. So as you cast on yourself and turn around, releasing your hand towards it, you watch as the shadows from the nearby area cling to it like chunks of a venom symbiote for a second.

As they grind into the corners of where its body is, the curse takes effect. All right. That is the end of your turn, so I think you get to roll, right? No, that in the blink was my action. Correct, but at the end of each of your turns, you roll. Oh, I do, I do, I do.

I do. I roll, yep. That is 11. On 11 or higher, you vanish from your current plan. Yeah. That's where you were. You disappear. All right, that ends your go. Beau, you're up.

You're on the ground, looking around. There's a dragon there. Fjord turns this way and vanishes. There's two of these darkened hallways. What are you doing? I turn to Jester and I go, Fjord just fucking vanished again. I go, I don't know how this works,

and I take out the red elemental gem that I've had for a very long time, and I use it. I was going to say I smash it, but then I felt like that might be deeply irresponsible, because then it could just smash. Maybe you could punch him with the gem. Punch the gem. Punch the gem at him. Oh!

Just badminton. Yeah. All right, red elemental gem. All right, a fire elemental is summoned. As if you cast the conjure elemental spell and the gem's magic is lost. So as you throw it, it shatters. I don't think so, it's very fast.

I don't have the fire elemental thing on me, so we'll just go ahead and use this for the time being. So as you throw it, it breaks in the ground there and suddenly you watch, rising from the impact, the flames swirl and build up into a full-fledged fire elemental beneath. And I go, fuck him up! So as for the conjure elemental spell,

let's see if it gets its action right now. Please don't make any sense to what you say. God, well, I think it's one of those things where if something bad happens, it turns on us. Well, I think it does if it gets concentration. Yeah, if I lose concentration, but I don't know. Yeah, it is concentration, so you're considered concentrating. It's friendly to you and your companions. Roll initiative for the elemental. Okay. What do I have?

That's okay. All right, do you have the initiative for the elemental. Okay. What do I have? That's okay. All right, do you have the stats for the elemental? Nope. I did when I was a druid. It's okay, I'll find it right now for you and I'll text it to you. Oh my god. I can also use D&D Beyond.

Yeah, do that, pull up a file elemental there. Initiative is what, what's the number on there? What's his initiative? You rolled? Search. What's his initiative? You rolled a six. What's his dex? Plus his dex, so nine total. Nine. Nine! Oh boy.

All right, you got it. That's your action, your movement. Okay, so I stand. Okay, half your movement. Oh god. I'm going to back up towards this alcove a little bit, right behind me. Yep.

And I'm going to use my bonus action to take Patient Defense. You got it. Okay, that ends your turn. The fire elemental's turn now. It goes. It's next in the initiative order. Okay. What was your dragon?

I would like for it to get up to it and to do melee attacks. Go for it. Hang on, how do I touch the? Is the dragon still on the ground? It's still on the ground. The mini has it flying up, but it hasn't risen yet. There we go, there we go. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, hang on, sorry. The mini has it flying up, but it hasn't risen yet.

Okay, okay, okay, hang on, sorry. You want to go through his face? Multi-attack. I'm going to do the multi-attack. So two touch attacks. First one. Okay, that's good, it's okay. Wait, what am I, sorry.

Plus that, plus six for your touch attack, so 18. 18. 18? Just hits. And it lights up this place for you big time. 18 is the dragon's AC. Correct. Does it catch fire? And then one more, okay, well, yes,

and it does 2d6 plus three, which is five plus three, so eight, and then it does catch on fire, and then it's going to do another attack, which is, I think it fails. Failed it. It definitely fails. Yeah. Okay. Does that stand in the fundamental

of the turn, is it going to stay there, or are we going to move? No, it's going to stay there and be like, what's up, I'm about to fire on my hand. Jester, you're up. Okay. Okay, I'm going to cast Spirit Guardians on myself. Okay. I'm concentrating on Spirit Guardians. It's a wisdom save for the dragon. Is it friendly? Ooh, look at that. It's a full anatomy. Even better.

Fire element. Nice. All the toys. The dragon, is it friendly? Ooh, look at that, it's going to pull an Anthony. Even better. Fire element. Nice. That ain't nothing. All the toys. All righty. That's a wisdom saving throw, right? Yeah.

It rolled a natural 17 plus one, so 18. So it saves. It takes half damage, though. Okay, so do I roll damage right now? You do. Okay, okay, okay. I think, wait. No, I think it's on the top of his turn, isn't it roll damage right now? You do. Okay, okay, okay, okay. I think, wait. No, I think it's on the top of its turn,

isn't it, that you said? I think manifest and then on the top of its turn. That's what I thought it was. Okay. It's both. Oh boy. Wait, an infected creature, no, it's when it starts its turn.

Okay. You're right, so we'll come back to that. Okay. And then I'm going to back up. Okay, Which direction? The opposite direction that Fjord went. Yeah, to about there. And I'm going to... oh, wait, that is okay. I can't do anything for a bonus action right now, can I? I can't dodge or something as a bonus action?

No, it's an action, unfortunately. Only Beau gets to do that because she's a cool monk. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, then I'm just going to chill out and say, oh no. Okay. That ends your go. Oh wait, I backed up. That's okay, okay.

All right, well, the dragon's going to go ahead and take its turn. The dragon is going to turn this way as it moves around the fire elemental that struck it. First, it takes d6 damage, right, from being on fire? It takes d10 damage. d10 damage, roll d10. Eight. Eight points of damage. Hey!

Insolent creatures! Turns around on the fire elemental. It releases this burst of electrical energy, this lightning bolt arcs from the front of its snout, or channeled the horn through the fire elemental and towards Beau. Beau? Okay. Um.

Spirit guardians. Patient defense. Correct, so you're too far away from it, so it doesn't take any damage. So patient defense doesn't do anything, you have to make a dexterity saving throw. I don't have to do anything. And the phial mental does as well.

Okay. Okay, dexterity saving throw. Okay. Okay, dexterity saving throw. Okay. 21. 21, that's a success. So I roll for the fire elemental. Can I use evasion or does that matter right now? Evasion happens, oh yeah, so you take no damage.

I take no damage. Right? Evasion, yeah. Yeah, so you take no damage. Roll dexterity saving throw for the fire element. You duck out of the way and it strikes the wall. The stone exploding from the impact. Not good. Fire element takes 55 points of lightning damage. Ooh!

50 fucking five? Get the fuck out! Get the fuck out! That would kill us instantly if it hit us. Okay. At least it would almost kill me instantly. Yeah. It would kill me. It would kill me have hit us. At least it would almost kill me instantly. Yeah. Oh, Matthew!

Why would you do this to Debora's wall? I'm sorry, I touched the window! Debora's wall is a plan to get to where I fall in. Still an unimaginable space. You said 57 damage. Correct. Good boy, good boy! 52 damage. Oh, it's You said 57 damage. Correct. Oh boy, oh boy! 52 damage.

Oh, it's not 55, sorry. 55. Maybe we can give it the rotten drug fruit that we have. It's going to go ahead and then fly back around to get a better area. This is actually going to take up in the air. How high is the ceiling in here? The ceiling is 20 feet, so it gets to max at the very top, so it's 10 feet above anybody.

It's out of melee range. Wow. That's not bad. Oh boy. I got evasion. That's the only reason I'm okay. Wait, that seems much higher than 20 feet. Yeah. It's 20 feet. It's right there. It's hovering above. Thanks.

The mini looks like it's flying when it's not. Now it's flying, it's at the base level. I'm with you now. The Fire Emblem does an attack of opportunity as it moves out of its range. Shrugs it off. Okay, okay, yes, it hits. Roll to 17. 17 just misses. No, no, plus a natural 17. Oh, you rolled a 17.

That does hit, go ahead and roll damage. Or plus five. The flames are burning around its body, it doesn't even pay attention. Two ds. We're level seven, how did we do this? Seven, sorry, ten damage. Ten damage, not bad.

All righty, that's top of the round. So. And he takes damage. The next up. Are we going to fall? Yes, yes, yes. Next up, I believe, was it Caduceus first? Caduceus and? Did you go first and then I went after you?

I think we went, we may have. In the same round. Same round. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so we'll say both of you guys drop, both of you guys roll initiative. First of all, acrobatics check. Acrobatics. Two minutes later.

I read some books. Yeah, you read some books. 14 for me acrobatics. Okay, 14, you're fine. 19. 19, you're you're fine. 19. 19, you're both are fine. So you land. And now roll initiative. You actually fall past the dragon.

Okay, yes. Oh boy. And land on the ground and like. Whoa! What? It's just like, what? There's a fire elemental burning over here on the side. It's absolute chaos, both of you guys.

Now roll initiative. Okay. See where you end up on the initiative order. 18. Eight? Eight? Caduceus is up first. 13 for me.

And 13, we are at... Softening up the fire for us. All right, so top of the round, Caduceus, you're up first. Fjord is nowhere to be seen. You can see this giant shattered mark in the stone where electricity is dissipating and Beau looks like she just saw a ghost. Maybe shit herself. Speak for yourself. I'm not saying you did, but you have the look. Jester is surrounded by sparkling unicorns and

is just like. What are you doing? Oh, wow. Oh boy. I'm going to, fuck it, I'm going to try it. I'm going to try and cast Bane on this thing. Is that insane? I don't know if that's insane. Saving throw is? It's a 16 charisma. That may be insane. Charisma plus three, that's a ten. It fails. Yes! That was a good gamble. Good gamble. All right, so that's a...

It has Bane on it. Has Bane. All the circles. Scarecrow, Joker. Yeah, so that means it's... I'm telling you this is behind you because you're concentrating on it. Attacks and save rolls are now a d4 negative. Correct. All right.

Great, nice. That's great. Bane on that, I'll make him say yellow one. There we go. Is it a negative d4? Negative d4 to all of its attacks and saving cards. All right, so you cast that, and then you have your movement and bonus.

Oh man, okay. I'm going to... I'm going to turn invisible. Okay. We're all bouncing. Nope, nope, nope. The love song. Really?

My friends! And I'm going to run, oh god. That's pretty large. I'm going to run towards... Towards Jester? Actually, I'm closer to that hallway. Yeah, no, I see them over there. I'm going to run towards that hallway full speed. This one?

Okay, no, this one. So five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. Yep. All righty. Ha! It is dark in this hallway. There is no light source. So just be aware. All right, that ends your turn.

Cast Light, Fjord. I'm out of it. You can appear 10 feet from where you were. 10 feet closer towards the end of the hallway. Shroop. Here, there. I will use all 30 feet of my movement to head towards just the end

to see what the fuck's down here. 25. You rush up to the very end and you come upon what looks to be a small alcove and what looks to be a small crystal, a faint turquoise-green-blue coloration to it, similar to the flash that consumed the room when the steer was being puzzled. You look and there looks to be a groove running across down the base of it and across the floor. You glance over and

there's a groove running all the way down the hallway across the floor. Give it a four and he'll touch anything. He will? The crystal is dull. It is dark, it is just there. Did I learn anything? I don't know what to do. I'll turn around and I'll fire two Eldritch Blasts at the dragon.

All righty, roll for attack twice. I hope that'll fucking hit. That is 24. 24 hits. The second one is, yeah, 23. Both hit. Roll damage. Oh great, that's 16 points of Eldritch Blast. Nice.

And 12 points of Eldritch. As you appear and run on the side, turning around and firing these bolts out, you watch as they light up the hallway as they arc past, blasting into the side of the scaled armor as they both hit. The blasts hit and take damage, but it's a dragon and it looks over.

I see you. Oh, no you don't. Oh shit. You do! Looks over. I see you. Oh, no you don't. Oh shit. You do! It flickers in and out and you're still standing there. No, no, shit! Ah!

You added your curse damage in that, right? What's that? You added your curse damage? I did, yeah, plus three each time. You got it, all right, that ends your turn, Fjord. Beauregard, you're up. I saw Fjord dart that way, and I heard screams coming from that way, so I'm going to- They were manly screams.

Manly screams. I'm going to run this way past Jester and check out this hall. My speed, which is 45. 45. What do I see? Whoa. You get there and you see this small alcove

with a green-blue crystal that's resting there and a groove that's running along the ground and across the wall and continues all the way down the length of the hall. You turn around and you can see both of them meet in the center and then go in towards the platform in the middle. Towards the platform or the casket? What's with the casket situation? I don't know. This was the raised pedestal you saw in the Behind the Dragon. You guys haven't even looked at that yet, because you just saw a dragon and fucking ran. Into the platform.

I'm going to touch it. I'm going to touch the crystal. Okay. You touch the crystal. It's cold. Did anything happen? No. I'm going to work Into it. Okay. Energy! No, okay. Nothing.

Do I have a bonus action? Yep. I'm going to use my bonus action. I'm going to cast another ki point to do Step of the Wind. Okay. And dash back towards... 30, 35. To the pedestal.

40, 45. Yeah. towards the pedestal. 40, 45. Yeah. All right, so you're underneath the dragon now, feeling the wind blowing down from the wings, scattering dust and bone pieces around. You're having to squint your eyes from the bit of the debris that's being kicked up from its wings. As I dart by Jester, I just go, fucking crystals! I know, right?

That finishes Beau's go. Twiggy, you're up. Okay. You see Beau vanish down and come back, fucking crystals, right? Fucking crystals. Now, I heard it yell at whatever down this line. I can't see that it's him, though. At this distance, you have darkvision, 60 foot.

Okay, yeah. So yeah, you can see him down there. Okay, though. At this distance, you have darkvision, 60 foot. Okay, yeah. So yeah, you can see him down there. Okay, I see Fjord down there. Is it conceivable that he's fairly distracted with this and he's not paying that much attention to me? It's conceivable. Okay. You're a tiny little thing.

I'm a tiny little thing. Hasn't done anything yet. I'm so little. Read Little Hobbit. I'm going to attempt to hide, even just from his sight. So I use my bonus action to just get hidden a little bit. Is there anything I can kind of... Unfortunately, you are next to a very bright fire element

that is lighting up the area. You might have to creatively use the space. There are outcroppings and things in the area, but you'd have to move into another area to try and get it. All right, because I'm not adjacent to it because it's up. Correct. Okay, so I'll back into that alcove and attempt'm not adjacent to it because it's up, right? Correct. Okay, so I'll back into that alcove and attempt to hide in the alcove.

Okay, you are small. I am teeny. You can try, it's going to be higher DC. 15? 15. To hide? Okay. You may or may not be. You don't know. You may or may not be. We'll see.

Then I want to cast, okay, I conjure back into my imagination and I remember that portrait that was up above the desk in the other room, and I go, oh fuck, this better work! And I start to bring my hand down through the top of my body, and I make myself look like that portrait of who we think is Halas. Now, I'm only a foot taller than myself, so I'm like a four and a half foot tall Halas, but I have a lot of presence, okay? I stride forward, and I go in my raspiest, most male voice, I say, hey, you look bigger than the last time I saw you. You put on weight? You're grown. Make a deception check.

I'm really bad at charisma, you guys. We're all high, we're all high. You got it. No! Oh, that was so close! But I'm just playing it. Yeah, you're playing it. You're owning it as you stroll forward,

the creepy extended fingers and the billowing robe. The dragon is like. It's a nine. Yeah. It just looks right back at you. It's paying about as much attention to you as it did before you arrived. So you haven't angered it. I haven't angered it.

But it doesn't seem to be convinced, necessarily. Unfortunately. Dragons are pretty perceptive. Good call, though. All right, that ends your turn? That's about all I can do. Fire Elementals, go. He multi-attacks. But can it fly? No. No, it can't. It's out of range, unfortunately.

He shreds bright light in a 30-foot radius. There you go. It's going to stay put or move anywhere. Can he move forward a little bit? Yeah, can he hold his attack in case he's in range? Sure, you can go ahead and ready his attack in case the dragon comes in range. Yeah. You got it. All right, that ends its go. Jester, you're up.

Come on, Jester. Come on, Jester. Disguise self is Halas. Come on, Jester. Just fill the chamber with Halases. I'm going to go. Halas, Halas, Halas. Okay, Traveller, please, please, please let this work,

and I'm going to cast Polymorph on the dragon. Yes! Get it, get it. What? Come on, come on. Okay, what's the saving throw on that? Wisdom saving throw of 15. 15.

And he's got bane or something. Yeah, negative d4. And a negative d4 to that. Roll a 15 minus three. What do you polymorph the dragon into? Oh my god! I'm going to polymorph him into, oh god. I'm going to polymorph him into a crimson weasel.

Okay. But at the same time, I'm going to go catch him! Oh god, yes. Because somebody has to catch him. Oh god, yes. Okay. Okay. Just so you're aware, roll an intelligence check for me real fast.

Okay. Oh yeah, no. Oh. Oh no, I'm really stupid, though. You don't want to goldfish it. Six. Okay, gotcha. All right, so it turns into this tiny, tiny crim really stupid, though. You don't want to goldfish it. Six. Okay, gotcha. All right, so it turns into this tiny, tiny crimson weasel. I don't have a mini for that, necessarily, but.

Tell me the reaction. Here, we'll just go there. Missile snare? Okay. Would it be like a missile snare? You're right underneath it. It falls down ten feet. Oh, it's going to take too much.

Oh, it's too much? It'll take damage and then it might end. Takes one point of damage. It's still in its form. But the fire elemental is in range and it's ready to attack, so fire elemental attacks it. No! How did you know? How would's Rock! How did you know?

How would you know? How would you know? How would you know? It's so dramatic. First one. Yep, it hits with a 20, which is six plus nine points of damage. That's my cat.

Okay, so as the elemental slams the tiny weasel, the weasel, and reverts to the dragon form on the pedestal. And he gets another attack? Or no, wait, he can only hold one attack. Yeah, I'm the player. Well, no, no, I'll let you guys do all your attacks, but I'll let the enemies do it, too.

He hits with this one as well. All right, roll damage. I'm sorry! It's okay. That as well. All right, roll damage. That's such a... I'm sorry! It's okay. That's the thing to consider with Polymorph, is you have to decide if it's going to take damage or if you're going to put it in a tiny form. Yeah, I didn't hear it.

It's all good, it's all good. 11. 11 points of damage. That was an awesome maneuver. So good. I mean, I shouldn't have fucking held his attack. How would you have known? Yeah, why would you have known?

I know, I could have just fallen and broken its leg. Yeah, it's all good. All right, that finishes your go, Jester. It's now the dragon's turn. Oh wait, I want to back up. Oh, you want to back up? Where, this way? No, I'll stay there. Am I within 15 feet of him if he's on the ground?

But he's dropped now, right? Spiritual Guardians is faded because you cast Polymorph. Okay. All right, so you're backing up this way? Yeah. All right, five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. What a giant waste. It was not.

Motherfucker. It's out of my range. It is, it's in range now. Now it's its turn. It takes fire damage at the top, roll 10 for the fire damage. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, a six. Six points of fire damage.

Not bad. All right, I'm going to roll and see. Yeah, it's a six. Gets its lightning breath back. Go boy. It's going to go ahead, infuriated by the fact that you just turned it into a tiny little weasel, it's going to go ahead and turn this way and release another arc of lightning down. I need both Beauregard and Jester to make dexterity saving throws, please. Yeah.

I can use evasion again, right? Evasion's just an ability you have. If I succeed. Yeah, you have a reaction. Oh, fuck yes! Wow, that was a roll. Oh, I rolled a natural 20. I wasn't even looking at it. All righty. That was a roll. Oh, it rolled a natural 20! Yeah.

I wasn't even looking at it. All righty. That's a half damage on that. And I cast Hellish Rebuke as soon as it hits me. Boy, that's a severe overpass. If I'm alive. That's a lot of rolling right now. That was 50-something the last time.

Yeah. You take 50, oh, it was 51 points of lightning damage. You succeeded, so it's halved. So you take 25, and you succeeded. I rolled a 25 total. You take nine. I saw none. And I use Hellish Rebuke.

Correct. And I go, that hurts! And then Farnel. Okay. Oh god. So you cast Hellish Rebuke. Yes. Nothing comes out. Oh god. So you cast Hellish Rebuke. Yes. Nothing comes out. The ice gathers around you, and then rockets behind you. No effect. Rockets behind you?

It turns off. You turn around and look at the crystal, and the crystal is now glowing. You watch as the light that emanates from the blue-green crystal travels down and arcs through the hallway, hits the center, and gives a faint line towards this object across the way. Twiggy and Beau, you guys look and can see as it hits the center, this very faint trickle of energy is now hitting this far pillar where the darkened sphere is standing. Twiggy. That was cold damage! It was cold?

That was awesome. Fire on the other one? I don't know. All right, so that finishes. The dragon's going to try and fly up again. Oh, well, that's good. You do an attack and fire a disaster. Both of you do. You and the fire elemental do. Yeah, but it it in range. I'm sorry I killed it. No, I'm sorry, I made a weasel and not a fucking cow.

He's trying to get out of your melee. So I get an attack. Yes, you do. No. No. A four. It gets out of your range, missed. The fire elemental does get another attack as well. Natural 20.

All right, so go ahead and roll critical damage for the fire elemental. The dragon, however, does still manage to get out of melee range and get itself up in the air. Five, 10, plus another 13 damage. 13 damage? Yeah. Okay. Right, it's dice times two. Correct.

Yeah. With the rest of its 10 feet up, it's going times two. Correct. Yeah. With the rest of its 10 feet up. No, I have two and three. Five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 40. The dragon is now currently hovering. It's going after Jester? Yeah, we'll say it's there. The dragon, seeing the glyphs light up, is now turning.

Is it its turn? Yeah, it finished its turn blasting and uses its movement to move up. It takes fire damage, too. That's true, you get another 10 fire damage. Another six. All right, got it. All right, that finishes that round. Next round, top of it, we have,

no, because you guys came in last round. Not Caleb. Not Caleb, you guys have a few more rounds. You dilly-dallied back there. Caleb! You guys are looking through books right now. Oh wait, no, the Elemental's turn, right? The Elemental goes after the dragon? The Elemental went after Twiggy, it already went. It held its action, remember? That's right.

Caduceus, you're up. Okay, I saw a bit of this go down. Correct, you are no longer invisible. Nope, I'm back. You saw none of this. I saw none of this? You were over here in this chamber. All you saw was a blue thing go.

That's all you know. There was lightning. So lightning go down there, you heard a scream. You saw a blue glow up the roof. And I'm down here now going. I was basically going to try this before anyway, so. I'm going to start heading towards, just so I can get a better view,

just towards the edge of the, about there. Not quite yet, just so I can hold if I need to. Yeah, there's no Caleb. I'm going to yell, duck, and I'm going to ready a shot of Sacred Flame. Actually, Sacred Flame's not a bolt, it's just an appearance. I'm going to hit Sacred Flame on the crystal. On the one behind us. Yeah, the one at the end of the, behind the fort.

Okay. So you go ahead and at least take a flame. The flame burns up around it, dissipates. No effect. All right. Yeah, it's my turn. Okay, brings us to Fjord. It burned up around it and didn't do anything? Mm-hmm.

What kind of damage? What if I do a cast Armor of Agatha to myself and smash my head into the crystal? I mean, if you want to try it. It's cold damage. Yeah. Yeah. Just do the football body slam.

You might even cast Instell in its vicinity. Just try casting it. I'm going to cast Armor of Agathys on myself in fourth level. Okay. All the moisture in the air gets pulled in and clinks itself to the outside of Fjord as this icy encased chunk of arcane armor

that gives off this mist around his torso. I smash my head into the crystal. Wait, is there any armor on your head? Yeah, sure. It creates this banded partial helmet and you just crack into the crystal. The armor shatters off of you into the crystal. The crystal blows. You're a bit dazed by it, but you watch as the light tears down to the center of the chamber. The light actually brightens in the center, and there, the central orb that's there, it's been dark,

suddenly lights up with the same dull blue-green glow as the coloration on the floor and the coloration that you noticed very faintly coming from the inside of the orb when you initially were inspecting it. Can I use my movement now to run up towards the tunnel where Caduceus is in the direction that the light moved? So if I roll less than 11 on blink, does the spell end or is it every turn?

Every turn, you have to keep going. You can end the spell prematurely if you want to. Apparently I am fucking terrified. I shut my pants and I can't blink. You're like, god, what happened? Okay, that ends Fjord's go. Beau, you're up. Okay, I'm going to run over here to the altar casket situation.

I'm going to quickly check it out. What do I do? Okay, so you walk up there, you look down. It's just a large pillar with intricate carvings, and you can see runes along the sides that are darkened. There is a sphere about that big that looks similar in size to the one that got you here, but it's not as intricate. It's more of a metal ball that has hollow runes carved in it that the glowing blue-green light is emanating from, and it's lighting you from underneath with this faint glow, and it's lighting up the middle of this small alcove.

Do I still have an action? Yeah, that's just your movement. Can I try and replicate on this sphere the movements that I watched Twiggy do to get us here? Sure. You reach out and touch the sphere. Beau's gone. Oh, fuck it. Bye. There's a flash of familiar light. Hope it's home.

That's your turn. Twiggy, you're up. Oh boy. Oh boy. The fire elemental right now is no longer under Beau's control. Right. Right. The thread has been severed that was keeping it controlled as an elemental. There's that whole thing about them, which I kind of knew going into this, but. Okay. Oh my god.

Sorry! Bye! Bye! Shh. Yasha's just looking around the boat. Yep, for the next hour, that elemental is considered an enemy. Oh god.

So what are you doing, Twiggy? This jester currently now pinned in the back of this hallway by fragments flying in the air. It's about 10 feet above it. Am I adjacent to the pheromental? You are. I am, okay. You are now within its melee range because you are now considered an enemy.

It was originally whirling there and all of a sudden this boat disappears. Okay. Okay, I'm going to take out a stick of gum, and I'm going to chew it a little bit, and then I'm going to pluck one of my eyelashes and put it inside the gum, and I'm going to keep chewing it, and then I'm going to blow a bubble, and the bubble's going to get bigger and bigger

and bigger until it's bigger than me, and when it pops, it covers my whole body, and I disappear. Okay. So I go invisible. until it's bigger than me, and when it pops, it covers my whole body and I disappear. Okay. Is this invisibility? That is my favorite descriptor of invisibility I think I've ever heard in the history of my gaming experience. It says, an eyelash encased in gum air. That makes me so happy. All right, cool. All right, so I go invisible. That's my action. Do I need to use my bonus action to disengage, or can I not?

It still knows you're there. It'll have disadvantage on an attack as you move from melee. Right. Or I could use my, okay. Or just assume that it might miss. It's up to you. Assume it might miss. Yeah, assume it 55 points will miss. All right, I'm going to disengage from it. Okay. Fudge.

Sorry, guys. No, no, no, no. It's just a dragon in a fire element. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Um. Okay. I'm going to, I can use it, oh, I already used my bonus action. Damn it, that's why I didn't want to

do it. All right, I run to the pedestal, but I don't touch the thing. Okay. 25, you're right there. I'm right there. Okay. Okay. That ends your go. That brings us to the Fire Emblem Mental's turn. The Fire Emblem Mental does not know where you are. It's going to move towards the closest target. It's actually going to go ahead, and as part of its fire form.

Is it dragging the closer to that? I mean. It still, it would attack anything, right? Yeah. All right, the Fire Elemental is going to move through both of you. Okay. As it bursts through, you both burst into flames, so both of you are on fire. Oh, sorry.

It's half dead. It is. It's going to attempt to attack each of you once. So you're both attacking Fjord. That is 17 to hit. That is 17 to hit. That is my armor cost. All right, so you take... 11 points of fire damage. Okay, that's reduced by, oh, how much? The armor's gone.

Okay, cop that. It was consumed by the crystal. That makes it simple. That is going to be a 19 to hit you, Caduceus. That's a 19? Goddamn it, yeah, that hits. All right, you take seven points, sorry, 10 points of fire damage.

Okay. That's going to end its turn. Jester, your turn. 10 points, 11 points? 10 points. 10 points, and I'm on fire. Yes. Which means at the top of your turns, you take 1d10 fire damage, unless you use an action to put it out. Okay, well, taking a cue from Fjord, I'm going to cast Blink on myself.

Hey! Okay. Yeah. Then if I try to run underneath the dragon, he's going to get an attack of opportunity on me? It's above you. It won't get an attack of opportunity. No? Okay, then I'm just going to dash underneath it. So you're not going to cast the spell? No, by dash, I mean run. Sorry.

What if I have 30? You get there. Straight to 20? Over 11? Constitution saving throw. 19. You're fine. No. I roll a three. You're still there. You get there and the magic No. I roll a three.

You're still there. You get there and the magic just sputters for a second. Not going to save you, unfortunately. Okay, then for my bonus action, I get a bonus action. Oh, I can't. I'm going to use, no, I already used a spell. Fucking ball! I'm going to do nothing. I'm going to tremble. All right, and it just has his turn, the dragon's turn. On fire. Let's see if it gets, yes, it takes d10 damage. I'm going to roll that.

That's a nine. All right. Is it looking rough, real rough? No. He's bloody, he's definitely bloody. Pieces of his ribs showing through. He's getting close to like, you're starting to see some wear and tear.

Okay. He's not quite. The single scale has chipped away. He's just starting to break his foot. Does not get his dragon's breath back. Oh my god. So is it going to swoop down towards Jester? Oh boy.

Try and prevent you from escaping. Look how cute she is. So it makes three attacks, one with bite with its claws. First attack is Jester. Okay, that's 14 to hit. Misses? Minus d4. Right. Just in general. Right, right, right.

Yeah. As it strikes with its claw, you pull your shield up and sparks fly off as its claw arcs across the outside of your shield. and strikes with its other claw. Ooh, that's a natural 19 plus nine, so that's 28 minus one, 27. Oh, that's, I appreciate that. Yeah, so Clawstrike manages, as the shields pull away from the first hit, you're not able to get back quick enough, and the second claw just goes right across your torso

for 15 points of slashing damage. Cool. And the bite is going to come after you. That is going to be 19 to hit, minus a d4. Minus four, it's going to be 15 to hit. Fuck yeah! Bane! As it goes to bite towards you, its jaw is open. You pull back and you instinctively put the shield up to block it, and its mouth comes down on the shield holding onto it and Caduceus in the back focuses for a second and you watch the jaw

weaken and pull back, readying itself for another strike. That ends its turn. That brings us to the top of the round. Caduceus, you're up. Shit. Well, first of all. You guys are looking at books still. I think I can unlock this one! Yeah, I'm on fire. You do, you take... Can I do anything about that?

You can spend an action to do so. You take six points of fire damage. That's okay. Six points of fire damage is fine. I'm going to book it towards that fucking altar. That's 30. I can spend an action to go. To get there, yes.

But people are still fucking down, aren't they? Well, people are in a couple of rough places, and you're still missing Caleb and Nott. Up to you. You still have an action to use. I'm going to do something dumb. Don't leave a man behind. I like dumb.

I'm going to, this is going to get weird, halfway through my run, actually right before I start my run, I'm going to cast Meld into Stone. Meld into Stone. What are you going to what? He's going to play as Traveler. All right. It's not concentration. It's not concentration. Casting Meld into stone so that when I end my turn, I in theory will be not

in fire anymore because I'll be inside the stone. I'll allow that. Thank you. The plan goes out because there's nowhere for debris. I will actually walk through like Homer Simpson's into the stone wall. I go and I'm going to take my 30 feet straight towards the wall. I can't see anything, but I can move.

You can use your movement to leave the stone where you entered it, which ends the spell. Oh, then I'm going to. You don't get to move through the stone. I'm going to walk all the way. Yeah, it's like a Lion Wait spell. Merge into it and stay there for up to eight hours, and then once you leave it.

Okay, so that's. But you've got the fires off, and you have your movement. Well, I mean, I would know how the spell, I'm going to get as much movement as I can, and then hold for the turn. 25, 30. Yeah. So you're still in the stone.

Currently in the wall, got it. That ends your turn, Caduceus? Yeah. F then. So you're still in the stone. Yep. Currently in the wall, got it. That ends your turn, Caduceus? Yeah. Fjord, you're up. Yeah. Beau's gone. Caduceus is stoned. It's going great. It's going great, guys. I'm going to use my, I take 1d10 fire damage, right?

Yep, you do. You take three points of fire damage. Okay. I will use my movement to, and my, to run towards the pedestal. Actually, I'm sorry, let's come this way to Jester. Okay. So five, 10, 15, 20, 25? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

What you doing? What happened? Let me take back half that movement and I'll go here. Okay. And I'm going to... I can't Bael Ingestor, I'm going to fire two Eldritch Blasts at the dragon, try and get its attention. Roll two attacks. 25 and a 22. Both hit. Roll damage.

Six, seven points of Eldritch Blast. Ten. That's a 17 total. Nice. It gets hit twice. I'll say go ahead and make Intimidation check. Just as part of this attack. 21. You have the dragon's attention. He was slashing and it just turned after, twice on the side of the head. Back towards you. Do I have to roll a blink?

You can choose to end the spell. But doesn't it take an action or I can just choose? That's a good question. Let's go ahead and check. It should tell you on the spell. It says... You can dismiss the spell as an action. As an action. Okay.

Blinky. Bye. One fucking time if you want to. We are making some interesting calls tonight. It's exciting. All right, that ends Fjord's go. Beau, you're out. Twiggy, you're up.

Okay, I'm invisible, so I have advantage? For an attack, you do, yes. For an attack? Okay, so I realize it'll end my invisibility to do this, but I pop back out of my invisibility, and I'm going to snipe one at him with advantage. Okay, go for it. With what?

Beau, my Sherpa. Go for it. I got a Sherpa. 18 plus seven. That definitely hits, and it is sneak attack because he doesn't see you. So great. You appear in that space as you let loose an arrow

that sinks itself right into the hardened, scaled underhide of the blue dragon. I say, you're mean! That's a six, that's 10 on my initial hit, and then my sneak, seven, and 10, so 17 additionally to the 10, so 27 points of damage. 27 points of damage. Okay. It's looking hurt. It's looking hurt. You guys have, it's starting, you can see blood.

As bonus action, I'm going to attempt to hide, like near the pedestal, like behind the pedestal. Okay, so you move behind the pedestal? Yeah. All right, you kill it. 15. 15, okay you move behind the pedestal? Yeah. All right. 15. 15, okay. You believe that you are hidden.

I believe I'm hidden, you guys. All right. Oh god. For Elemental's turn. I like this. Woo! Comes this way. I'm going to go ahead and, Jester, roll a d6. On a one, two, three, it attacks you.

On a four, five, six, it attacks the dragon. Four! Fuck up that dragon! Yeah! It comes over to this side. It moves into this tiny space because it can. It's going to run past. It is going to ignite you both as it runs through. You are on fire. The dragon's still on fire, but it doesn't lay into you with two attacks. Attacks the dragon twice, that is a natural 20. Ooh.

And a five. I'm best if someone goes down, because I have an auto crit on the heal. Nice, not bad. All right, that ends the fireman's turn. Jester, your turn. First, top of your turn, you take six points of fire damage. You're burning. What you doing? I guess I'm going to, this is so lame.

It's so stupid, because Cure Wounds isn't going to do enough to fix me to where if he hits me, I'm still going to go down. Do a higher level. It is at the highest level. That's all you can do. I know. What you doing, Jester?

I'm going to cast Inflict Wounds at 3rd-level. Going down fighting. Kill him. Roll your attack. Oh my god, why is he doing it? It's just a touch. Oh, on a hit. Okay. Natural fucking one! You spin around. The flames are burning around you. Because it's a clear turn. Natural fucking one!

You spin around, the flames are burning around you. You spin to look at the dragon, and the fear wells up inside you, facing it down. Even the flames burning around it, you can see its face coming through towards you, angry. Now that Fjord's vanished, there's no longer in its sight, it's turned its attention back to you, and you think you reach out for it and expend the spell, and you're just a few inches short.

Oh no. I'm going to try to blink then. Okay, so you're ending your turn there, you're not going to move? Well, if I move, it's going to attack me. That's true. So I'm hoping. For one. Blink, blink, blink.

19! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh my goodness. When you come back, remember it's 10 feet from where you are. It's vanished from the space. So you are in the outside.

Jesus. Twiggy. Twiggy is the only visible person. I'm hiding, kind of. You're hiding, though. Really well. All right. So.

The dragon's turn. Top of its turn. It does get its breath back. Roll to six. Oh god. It comes through the hallway. Angrily. Does it get an attack of opportunity?

It does. I'll go ahead and roll the attack elemental. Nice job. Another natural 20, holy shit! That's the luckiest damn elemental in the world. 12 plus three, another 15 points of damage. Whoa. The dragon also takes, because it's still on fire,

an additional six points of damage. Damn. No. It's low. It's looking hurt. Maybe. It's looking hurt. It also takes, because it's still on fire, an additional six points of damage. No! It's looking hurt. It's looking hurt. I'm going to see if it rolls high enough perception to see you. See?

Natural 18. Okay. Oh my god. It comes in the chamber. This beam of vibrant blue electrical energy just arcs towards you, make a dexterity saving throw. Evasion, but we'll do it, yeah. You also still have this, I think.

Pretty good. Oh, that's right, you have the moat. Just in case. What is that? That's another roll. Oh, I have another, I may not need it. Just a dexterity saving throw, right? Correct.

Yeah, I mean, that's a 23. 23. Sorry, yes, 23. It just barely skims, singeing the edges of the branches that are sticking out of your hair. The rat's nest themselves curling back from the momentary heat, or the flash of energy, but you avoid it entirely.

It slams into the wall behind you. Stone breaks and splinters, and you watch as the energy dissipates throughout the area. That's good. No damage. That's good. Rogues in evasion, man. Five little lit candles. Yep.

Marshmallows toasting. It looks furious. It's all right. The breath itself, it smells like burnt ozo. I actually still look like a loss, because it's not concentration. That's true, yeah. It just thinks I'm a four-foot tall. Yeah, really, really confused by it.

That ends its turn. All right. Top of the round. Where are you? We're hoping. Where are you? Hey, we're going to land right on him! Right on him!

Chill him! Go ahead and make acrobatics checks, you guys. Chill him! With your bodies. 12. Five. 12. Oh no!

Acrobatics check or save? Acrobatics check. Oh, it was 12, no, I was right. You both fall prone right on the sides of it as you slam into the dragon. Onto the side. On the ground. Do we cause any damage to the dragon?

No, but you both, not for dragon scales, unfortunately. You fell on the dragon. But you do both take five points of bludgeoning damage from the impact. Great, great. You're like. Both roll initiative to see where you fall on the initiative order.

Eight. Seven. Eight. Seven. Eight, okay. Caleb, what's going on? And you don't see anybody in there. Oh yeah, there's nobody in there. You're in a chamber. You're in a chamber.

You land there and you see this angry burning dragon and this tiny little version of the mage that you walked through the den of, and that's it. You see the glowing sphere here on the pedestal, these lines of energy that meet in the center. The fire elemental. The fire elemental in the back way burning. You're Troy in community, walking in with the pizzas. My inner question, do I smell burnt ozone, since you said that just a second ago? You're Troy in community, walking in with the pizzas. My inner question, do I smell burnt ozone,

since you said that just a second ago? You do smell the electrical remainder in the air. Good enough. Who saw me bamf out by touching the thing? Jester for sure did. Jester, you saw it, yeah. Caduceus, you're done. I can see four of us.

Oh boy. I'm going to, oh fuck, she's not there, is she? Did you roll an initiative? Oh, they already did, okay. I got them in the order. Roll badly, okay. I have to come out of the, I'm going to come out of the wall.

I see them. Hmm? Yeah, no, and I'm going to do the, we're running, it's bad, I'm going to. It's bad! Oh my god, that's amazing! We're running, it's bad! Oh my god. Oh my god. What are you doing, Caduceus?

You shout that after stepping out of the wall. We're running. It's bad. Oh my god. I am going to... You're on deck, Fjord. Oh my god. Oh fuck. I am going to... You're on deck four already? Walk, so walk. I'm going to use my action,

since there's no one to heal, which is really frustrating, and there's no one to heal. Ah! Which is really frustrating. And there's not a lot I can do. I am going to, oh fuck man, this is such a bad call. What you doing? I am going to cast, oh, I'm so sorry, I'm doing this weirdly. It's all good.

Fish. I'm going to cast, where is it? Goddamn it, where did it go? I'm going to cast Blindness on the dragon. All right, must it save you from all that? It's a 16 constitution with a negative d4. Go easy, child. Is Blindness concentration?

Wait, I can't do that, actually, never mind. It's not, but I can't do it, because I don't have any third level spells left. Oh, it's a second level, I'm a crazy person, yes. It's not a concentration spell. That is, it would be a three plus four, it's a plus four con save, so it's a 17 minus four from the bane, so it's 13, so yeah, it's blind.

Oh, you fucking crazy. Nice. You are blind for a minute. I'm going to take the rest of my movement and hop into the fucking orb. You mad? Yes, you do. You move up?

Yes, you do. Yeah! The bane fades. The bane does fade, but the blindness stays. All right, that ends Caduceus' turn. Fjord, you're up. I pop back into existence 10 feet, I want to stay out of his melee. All right, so there.

Did he not see that? Do we make him pachank of any kind? I made sure you saw it. I don't know. I was yelling at you and making a fuss. He said, we're running, it's bad, and then jumped into a sphere. That's like some children's cartoon level obvious. Yeah, and I'll use my extra language to go,

yeah, it's bad, grab the sphere! And I'll use my full movement to run towards the sphere. He's just about 40 feet. All right. So for if it will put me in his melee, will it? I have full movement to run towards the sphere. He's just about 40 feet. All right. For if it will put me in his melee, will it? He has reach with his bite. He has that entire hallway covered.

I will use my bonus action Misty Step with the sword to over to the globe. Yes, queen. That puts you 30 right there. I will reach out and touch someone. Fjord is out. Fjord's out. At the top of your turn, because you're still on fire, you do take four points of fire damage.

Okay. He's blind. Are you okay? No, she's not okay. Goddamn it. She's been abandoned by everyone who can help her. It's okay,ord's turn. Oh, it's okay, it's fine, it's fine. I stand up again and I still look like little Halas, but as Twiggy, I reach in my pouch again

and I pull out the tongue of a snake. And as I do that, I have in my palm a little bit of oil and I run it back and forth on it and then I throw it out this way. And as I do that, I say, wait until we've left, and I try suggestion. Oh yeah. Okay.

Wisdom saving throw. Wisdom saving throw. I'm sure it's very wise. Good try. Good try. This little snake tongue just falls on the ground. The dragon hears you speaking and looks in your direction, but where the pale blue piercing eyes once were,

it's just a cloud of black. It's trying to sniff for where you might be. So for all intents and purposes, I'm already hidden. I don't need to hide again if it's already blind. In theory, yes. Yeah, unless it is able to see. No, it does not have tremorsense. Okay. So I still yell, everyone, hey, guys!

It does have blindsight 30 feet, I just noticed. Then I do hide. I attempt to hide. That's really good. That is a 25. 25? Yeah, 25. Dragon's head. But before I hide, I do yell, Touch this! Touch the globe! Touch the sphere! Thank you.

I stay hidden over there. Okay, shh. Yeah, up against the thing. Okay, you got it. You're going to move into the back? Yeah, exactly. Got it. All right, that ends Twiggy's turn. Fire elemental.

Yeah! Oh, I'm a dummy! Exactly. Got it. All right, that ends Twiggy's turn. Fire elemental. Yeah. Roar. I'm a dummy. It's going to go ahead, Nott, roll a d6. On a one to three, it attacks you. On a four to six, it attacks the dragon. One? Yeah, with advantage, because you're on the ground.

That is 17. Hits. And 16. That's my armor class. So yeah, both hit. Goddamn it. That is eight points of damage. Fire damage. You run fire. I'll use Uncanny Dodge for that one. Okay, so you take four points of fire damage, and the second attack does nine points of fire

damage to you. That ends the firemantle's turn. Nott, you're up. Lying on the ground, I will fire up at the dragon with my crossbow, trying to quickly load one of my explosive charges. He's within five feet of a friend, yes? He's within five feet of all of you. So it's a sneak attack? It's a sneak attack. Just letting you know, it's an explosive arrow and you're adjacent to the creature.

Sure. Yeah, I'm going for its head. Go for it. Boy, that's not great. 18. 18 just hits. Okay. You're prone, so you have disadvantage on attack rolls, by the way. So you do have to roll again. Shit. Can I stand up first?

We'll say you stand up. I stand up first. Okay, sorry, I can't read. Happy moment there. So 18 plus whatever the explosion does. The arrow detonates from inside, creating a fiery explosion in a 10-foot radius around the creature that affects you, Caleb, and the fire elemental. Fire elemental is immune to fire, takes no damage. The dragon, however, will roll a 3d6. Make a dexterity saving throw.

Actually, it does not because it was hit by it. 11. Takes an additional 11 points of fire damage. I need both Caleb and you to roll dexterity saving throws. You take 11 points of fire damage. 23. You take not enough. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. Because of your evasion.

Sorry, Caleb! You roll out of the way. Caleb's like. All right, so. Okay, he's still alive. Still alive. I use half my movement to get up. Correct, you still have a bonus action and half your movement.

I'll use my bonus action to fire again. Okay, go for it. Natural fucking one. So. Oh, what does that do? You have to make an attack roll against yourself, don't you? I don't know how this works. For your weapon.

If you roll a one, I've never done this before, on a d20 attack. You must succeed in a dexterity saving throw, which I don't, or suffer 1d6 piercing damage to myself. It's two. So as you go to fire a second round, you pull back and shoot, and the mechanism misfires slightly, and all of a sudden it scrapes you on the side of the cheek, and you're like, ah! Damn it. Okay. So you still have the cheek, and you're like, ah! Damn it. Okay. Okay, so you still have your movement, if you wanted to move.

No, because it'll hit me. I mean, I guess it'll hit me anyway, right? You can still move within its melee if you wanted to try and remaneuver. Okay, I'll move, I'll rock around away from the fire guy. Okay, there you go. The fire guy does get a attack against you.

Okay. That is a 12, guy does get an attack against you. That is a 12, I don't think that hits you. No. Just managed to avoid it. Oh god. Okay, Caleb, you're up. Fuck. Yeah.

I don't see Jester, she's not here. Well, she left already. I don't see Twiggy. I heard her voice. Yep. Nott is up. Yeah. There is a dragon.

Mm-hmm. A dragon that looks hurt, but not like death's door. And a fire elemental. And a fire elemental with this burning anger. It's the worst person ever. I'm half. I'm going to cast Expeditious Retreat. Since that is transmutation, and I smell the ozone as soon as I hit the ground, I am going to make my transmutation stone make I smell the ozone as soon as I hit the ground,

I am going to make my transmuter stone make me resistant to lightning. Good call. And I'm going to beeline for the sphere. All right. Caleb, wait for, oh, okay, bye. All right. That brings us to Jester's turn.

Get out, get out, get out. Jester. Get out, get out, get out. Three, you shoot. I can be ten feet. That's right. And you can choose, you can choose. I mean, within ten feet,

can I get away from the fire elemental, at least? Unfortunately, no. He's placed in a way where, I mean, you can, you can go. I killed him, yay! He's placed in a way where... I mean, you can. You can go, oh god. I killed him! Yay! Everything's fine. You can go over here. You can go there. That way, your fire elemental is not within range. Technically, the dragon, you're just out of the dragon range, although you're going to pass it.

Running. Running. But I wouldn't, yeah. You also take one point of fire damage at the top of the road. Great. Because you're still on fire. Okay, I think this is so stupid. I'm going to cast Cure Wounds on myself

because I'm going to die if I don't. I got a couple third levels left, so I'm going to cast Cure Wounds. Oh good, two ones and a two. That's great. So four plus four is eight points. You heal eight? Very valuable.

Sure. Just run. Dash and take it. Run and pray? Yeah. I'm going to run around as much as I can. Okay. Like around the edge of, like without getting hit, like without me leaving his melee.

Yeah, it's like five, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, and get two. And then blink. Roll for your d20. Oh god, come on. No, I stay. So Jester remains. It's now the dragon's turn.

God fucking dammit. It's now the dragon's turn? Does not regain his lighting breath. Jesus. That's good. He hits me one time. He's going to take three attacks. Against the other one.

Is he blind? He has blindsight within 30 feet. Oh. Goddamn it. Self-corrected, right? Yeah, so that's going to be... All right, now it's going to be a claw attack on each of you. Claw attack against Nott.

That's going to be eight plus nine. 17. Sure, hits. Okay. Fuck, man. You take 10 points of slashing damage. Okay. I've gone since my last run, so I'll dodge. Okay.

Against Jester, that is a natural four plus nine. That is 13 to hit. Oh my god! You deflect hit. Oh my god! You deflect it. Oh my god, oh my god. It doesn't care much for Nott, necessarily. You've been a threat, it's going to go after you, Jester. Oh god. I'm sorry.

No, it's fine. Natural two. Oh my god! I've been joking. Oh. Oh, Jesus. That was so quick. Oh, Jesus.

We're not out of the woods yet. We's going on? Oh, Jesus. We're not out of the woods yet. As it strikes both towards you, there's that moment of quiet where your eyes close and you're waiting for the imminent moment and you hear this voice creep in your head and go, Don't worry, I'm watching. Your arm, without even noticing, you feel a hand push your wrist, and the shield goes up and deflects the impact. The teeth streak across it and cling to it and begin to try and pull the shield away, and you just instinctually muscle it away.

As you do, you watch two teeth shatter and fall to the ground in front. Just that moment of strength billowing up from inside a pretty strong cleric. That's the end of the dragon's turn. We got this, Jusy! Caduceus is done. Fjord is done. Twiggy. Twiggy fucking kill this dragon or get us out of here! Mercy killed Jester!

How rough is the dragon? This is the turn. This is the moment. We got best friends. Is the dragon looking at all rough or not really? It's looking pretty hurt. But no. But who cares? Not really. So much as I can tell you. It's a miserable life.

So I'm hidden well, so I have advantage? Yes. Okay. Arrow, snipe it with an arrow. All right. I come out and I say, You leave my friends alone! And I shoot my arrow. Why does Halas like us?

17. 17 plus seven. That hits, full damage. I'm sure that'll do it. There's so much you done that I thought he was. It's way shorter. So seven on the hit, and then with sneak, another seven's 14, another six is 20 on that.

20 points of damage. 20 points of damage. Into its throat. You watch it reach up and with its claw, scrape the arrow out of the throat, and as it does, you see a little bit of electricity arc out from the wound. It's looking pretty hurt. Okay.

I'm saying, save yourselves, and I hide again. I attempt to hide again. 19 plus seven. Yeah, I'm sitting. You've stealthed into your old camp room. Okay. All right, that ends your turn, Twitty. The fire elemental's turn first. Fire elemental is going to

roll against the dragon, which is the closest enemy currently. Natural two. That's a miss. Natural eight. It misses both strikes. It's going and shift around to this way. That ends his turn. Nott, you're up. Beginning of your turn, you take six points of fire damage. My heart rate is literally running too mild. You said his blindsight, he can see anything within 30 feet? Within 30 feet, he can see through blindness. It's Nott's turn, not Jester's turn.

Correct, it's Nott's turn, not Jester's turn. Correct, it's Nott's turn. Just go. I will run towards the exit. Okay. Are you disengaging? No. Okay. What? You can't, as an action.

Disengage! No, no. Oh, or is it bonus action? Run to the front. All right, it makes Attack of Opportunity against you. That's going to hit. That's a 15 plus nine, yeah, it's 24. Sure. It's going to be a bite attack against you,

which is more damage. That's going to be 18 points of piercing damage. I'm okay. The jaws bite into you and you feel it rake across your shoulder, but you manage to pull out, roll on the ground and back up, and you manage to get your arm up and pull yourself onto the platform where the orb is still glowing that dull green color. I'll turn around and fire my crossbow at the thing.

Go for it. It's not great. It's only a 16. 16. The bolt ricochets off of the hard scales of the dragon's hide. If I use my bonus action to fire again, I can't touch the thing, right?

Just go, just go, just go. What you doing, man? You've done enough. You did enough. You did enough. You did enough! Go. Don't do it! She can go now, he uses Reaction. Go, go! I'll go.

Oh! Jesus. Fuck, man. Jester's next, right? Jester? All right. Jester's turn. Beginning of your turn, you take fire damage. Six points of fire damage. Oh my god.

It's only a 10. It's okay. Okay. Yeah. Well, he used his reaction, right? He did. Jester's out. Oh!

Oh my god. Fuck. Jiggy. It's the dragon's out. Oh my god! Fuck! It's the dragon's turn. The dragon. Is that a one? Yeah, I got one hit point. Holy fuck! One hit point.

You had one after the 18? Yeah. The dragon's going to go ahead and wail on the elemental. It can't see anything else around it. See if it gets the, does not get its... Sorry, the dragon can't touch the sphere. That's a hit. And a hit.

And a miss on the jaws. So that's seven damage for the elemental, if you want to keep track of this. 40 HP. Ooh, double sixes. That's 17 points of damage to it. Get out of there! The intro's been up one wish. I know. The dragon takes another six damage from the fire. The dragon was hurt real bad. Ellie's at 23.

Who's hurting real bad? The dragon's hurt real bad. All right, that's going to end its turn. Everyone else goes by, Twiggy, you're up. Am I, or is it the elemental? Who goes first? You go before the elemental. I go first? All right. I'm going to come out of hiding. I'm going to fire an arrow with advantage.

Yeah! Last man standing, Twiggy! Natural 20. Oh! Oh! Fuck! Roll damage. Natural 20. Ah! Fuck! Roll damage. Roll damage. What the fuck?

Roll damage. All right. We'll see if it's enough. Oh my god, oh my god. Nine plus four for the hit. Okay, nine plus four for the hit. So 13. Double the dice.

Wait, we doubled the dice? I doubled the dice for the hit, so that was 2d6, so that's for the hit, so that was 2d6, so that's for the hit, but I get 8d6 on my sneak. Double that sneak attack? Yeah, you can either just roll the sneak attack and then double the number or roll twice as many dice, up to you.

That's nine. That's another 10, is 19. Oh my fucking god. Double that. Come on, come on. Double that to 38. Have you won a game? Yeah! What? What? Come on! We on. Double that to 38. Oh!

There, we can't do this! No one's going to see what I'm going to do! No one's going to believe her! No, no, no. Wait, shh. I step out, and I put on my meanest face that I learned from Sir Cadigan. Still in the form? Still as Halas, 100% as Halas.

I say, and I say, this is for my only friends. Come straight forward and yeah, I want to hit him in the heart because he broke my heart. Oh, what? It stumbles forward towards you, now that you're visible,

its eyes blinking in and out, looking confused, still with a shake, it goes. Now I drop it. And falls to the ground and collapses, exhaling bits of energy arc out of its snout and dissipating into the stone around there. The dragon is dead. Cool. There's still fire element. Yep. So bonus action. Is there a piece of tooth in reach? I'd like to take a tooth with me. You can, but it's either that or touch the sphere.

Okay, so I'll touch the sphere. I mean, I'm not crazy. You said two fell on the ground. They did. They're scattered over in this corner. So it'd be like a move, grab it, and then go. Okay, I've got it. We're good. Okay. Oh my god. What are the rules of drinking hard liquor on Twitch?

I am ready with stabilization magic for everybody. Everyone's going to be fine. How many hit points did you have? By the end, I had 13. But if he'd have hit me one more time. One time. You took that with 19 hit points? To burn the reaction. She could have grabbed him, though, worst case scenario.

That was not the bravest. That was me. So, as you all, one by one, emerge, beaten on fire. Jesus. Help put it out for those who are still burning in flames. You find yourselves back in the hull of the ship. You see half of the crew sitting there, looking intense, the sphere resting in the center of one of the tables off to the side. As soon as the first of you emerge, they're like,

Where have you been? What's going on? Orly pushes forward and goes, Where have you been hanging? A few more appear. Eventually, everyone makes their way out of the sphere. Guys! I did it! I killed the dragon all by myself! What? No, no, the dragon was alive. We just left. Aw, man. Did you really?

I really did. Oh, Jessie. Yeah, roll that shit, Caduceus. Goddamn. Way to go. That's, did you get anything from him, or? I really tried to take a tooth, but I figured it'd be better to live.

Yeah, oh man. You hear a clattering sound, and you glance down, and you see, stuck in the side of your boot, it looks like one of the Errant Dragon 2. Yeah! I take it and I put it in my bag, and I go, this will be good for later. Marius.

I'm just going to go over to Jester and just take the flower out of her head and be like, I think it worked. I'm going to take it back now. I turned him not to think it's over. Just bury my head in it. Marius is like, we've been waiting here for seven days. Oh shit.

Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah. Where are we? Bissaf, our repair's finished like a day ago. And we haven't paid yet, because you've been fucking gone. The Dockmaster's not happy. Is the ball of fun there?

Yeah, it's sitting on a table. They've all been rallied around it, trying to figure out. You guys vanished, and this was all that was left. I wouldn't touch that. That's a lot. Oh, we figured that was the case! Yeah. It's probably safe to touch now. I mean, the dragon's dead. Marius, do me a favor. Give it a day.

Just tell us how much the repairs cost, and let's all settle in for a night. We're going to... Still on fire. Sorry. We're going to need it. All right, it's about 130 gold for the masts, the, you know, getting the various bits of the sails repaired and re- refixed and everything.

Yeah. All right, I'll get them paid. Mark down that amount. One, three, yeah. Twiggy, do you have that jar of beads? I did take it. I'd use my hand. I do have the jar of beads. Are you attached to it? No, you can have it.

Thank you. I'll pass the beads over to him. you attached to it? No, you can have it. Thank you. I'll pass the beads over to him. I walk off. How you feeling? I walk off. If you stick around, I'm going to be helping, I'm doing a thing. Already gone.

Okay. 23 points to anybody who's hanging around for a few minutes. How many? 20, 23 points. It who's hanging around for a few minutes. How many? 23 points. It's been a long day. Yes, it has. Oh yeah. Well, let's just call that lesson learned, yep.

Maybe we should all just reconnoiter in the morning. Sometimes mysterious fears just happen to you. This is, if I'm learning anything. Well, the good news is that if Twiggy actually killed the dragon, which you obviously did, we can go back. Oh, I mean, like, maybe, sure. That's actually, yeah, it sounded bad when it came out. Well, I just want to say that this was the most fun adventure I've ever had in my lives, and you guys are the bestest friends that I've ever had. I think you should keep the ball of fun, but I'd be very

careful because Sir Cadogan is after it. But I better keep moving, so I might get off here. You don't want to stay with us? You guys have been the greatest friends ever, but I've spent my whole life in a box. I'm going to go explore you. Oh. I understand that. Thanks.

It was nice to meet you and nearly die next to you. Thanks for saving my life. Yeah, thanks for that. As an honorary member of the Mighty Nein, just do us a favor and make sure you tell your story far and wide, yeah? I shall, I shall speak of your bravery to all that I meet.

Let's pack some food and some tea and stuff before you're going. You're going to need some of that. Oh, good chocolate. Yeah, I'm going to go get some food, though. Thanks, Twiggy. I'm sorry I found your cuteness alarming. I have that effect on people. I put my hood up and two little Twiggy's stand there and go,

Bye, bye. Oh, that's weird. I would do that, too, but I think I'm out of it. I'm all out. do that, too, but I think I'm out of it. Out of it. I'm all out. You throw it away. Yes, I go up to the gangplank or whatever, attached to the dock.

I wave and I say, be good, be brave. Pass. Thanks for the adventure. Bye. Bye. Make good life choices. I'm all back up down. She's leaving us.

Eat all the candies! As you watch her gnomish form vanish off the docks and mingle with the rest of the villagers of Bisaft. Well, that was the weirdest seven days I didn't know I had. Yeah. Jester, are you all right? Oh yeah, of course I'm fine.

You're a bad liar. I'm a really good liar, Beau. Sure. I'm going to go to my room. And go to sleep. Are you okay? Am I okay? Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay? Would you jump up? Would I what?

Would you jump up? Onto you? Yeah. I will jump up onto Caleb, and I will give him a big kiss on his nose, and I'll whip out the last book I had, and be like, We still have books to go through. I'll look at those tomorrow. Let's go get some sleep. Start walking off towards our quarters. Hey, Fjord. Yep.

I feel like there's this trend of us all feeling shitty after we come out of a fight. Right. I'd say something about that that doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but I feel pretty fucking weak right now. That was a dragon. That was a dragon. I don't even know what any of it meant. That little crazy ball of fun is a droll maker, just like Twiggy.

Well, I guess there's still time to figure it all out. Maybe we just leave that particular function alone for a while and just collect some gold to recoup our repair costs. Feels like that gold was stealing from the dragon, just slowly but surely. Oh shit. Yeah. Anyway, but he's dead now, so what's the matter? Just slowly drain it. It's like a never-ending piggy bank.

Yeah, I mean, if a big blue finger comes through the hole, we'll know it's where you lied. That's true. All right. I'm going to go get rid of this concussion now. I guess I'm going to stay up. I don't feel like sleeping just yet. All right, first mate. You got the con. Copy that, Captain. SAM and LAURA I'm probably going to come out about halfway through your shift with pot and two cups.

Another day. How are you? Weirdly, I think I'm great. Oddly, I feel okay'm great. Oddly, I feel okay, too. Yeah, I know. Is that wrong of me? No. I feel like everyone else feels so terribly.

Well, in the morning, we're going to comfort everybody. We're going to take care of them. We're going to feed them. It's going to be our job to feel good for them, to bring them back around. They did good work, they just don't believe it. I think I oddly feel the most comfortable when things are a fraction away from going terribly wrong.

Something's happening. I don't know what, but something's happening. And you did good. So did you. Thank you. You do better next time, even. Keep everybody safe. You both quietly sit there, drinking your tea, finishing off the watch while the rest of your group

sleep soundly in their midday bunks, recovering from the strenuous activities of surviving three chambers of a hundred chambered mage vault, extra planar home. We'll end it there. mage vault, extra planer home. We'll end it there. We'll pick up on that next week. Wow. Well done, guys. Holy shit.

We killed them. We killed them. We have this ridiculous trend of guests killing bosses from the last campaign. Crazy state. Just one dragon was a natural 20. What a delight. What a fucking delight.

That was so great. That was really fun. Aw. Awesome. Twiggy, forever! So you had some weird ass spells up, right? You had some weird ass shit that I didn't know about. Like, I saw them, but I never really like to poke them.

Did you have like, you don't have to tell me what it was. Did you have some weird shit that if I prodded it would've been a thing or no? No. All right, okay, it was just you guys. All right. No, I'm very normal. Just an arcane trickster. I just do weird stuff with my normal stuff.

I like that. I'm hip, descriptive. Thank you guys so much for watching. Thank you again, Debra, for joining us. It was such a joy. Thank you! Such a joy. Is there anything you want to talk about,

a plug before we leave? Oh yeah! I have a game coming out. We're doing a show with Geek and Sundry called Relics and Rarities. It's super silly and fun and great, and I hope that everyone will love it. I just want to say a big thank you to you guys, because I don't think that would be possible either for me without all of you paving the way and being so supportive and so incredible and so inspiring. Thank you so much. Yeah! That's awesome.

That stat looks killer. It's so good. So thank you so much. Yeah! That's awesome. That's awesome. Yeah, that's killer. It's so good. It's so cool. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you for playing. Thank you, guys. Have a wonderful night. We'll see you next week. We love you, and visit Thursdayette.

Bye! Oh, hey, Ashley Johnson here, and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast, because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try. And that, more than anything, helps to support us. Thank you for joining us on this adventure.

And until next time, let us try to leave the world a little better than we found it.