Critical Role - C2E49 A Game of Names

Episode Date: January 25, 2019

Reeling from their discovery, the Mighty Nein come clean with each other about aspects of their past...Watch Critical Role live Thursdays at 7pm PT on https://www.twitch.tv/criticalrole

Hello, bees! This is Laura Bailey, here to welcome you to the Critical Role podcast. If you'd like to tune into the show as it airs, you can watch Critical Role Thursdays at 7 p.m. Pacific on twitch.tv slash criticalrole and youtube.com slash criticalrole. Our lovely Twitch subscribers can view the episode on demand right away. Or you can find it on YouTube Mondays at 12pm Pacific. And of course, for all you fantastic podcast listeners, Critical Role episodes hit feeds on Thursday mornings, a week after the episode first airs. With all that said, let's get into another episode of Critical Role. Hello, everyone, and welcome to tonight's episode of Critical Role, where a bunch of

us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons & Dragons. We're playing Dungeons & Dragons! Like that. Before we get started, we have a few announcements to get into. I guess, first and foremost, I want to say thank you for all of our community members that came out for the art show this weekend. It went amazingly. It was great to meet a bunch of the artists

who had the opportunity to. Looking forward to meeting all those that we didn't have the opportunity this time for hopefully future events. Went really well. We hope to do more community-centric things like this in the future. So I'm just very happy how it all turned out. And the live show went really well.

And thank you all for coming to that. Who could? Let's see. That is coming out in February. Mm-hmm. Yes. The VOD for Search Grog is coming out in February. We'll have details soon at gregorgold.com, so keep your eye peeled for that. Your eye peeled. Let's go ahead and bring it to our fantastic sponsorship for the evening. This week we have our returning friends

and family on the internet, D&D Beyond. SAM and LAURA and SAM and SAM and SAM. Sam, if you don't mind. Guys, the campaign trail is heating up. As you know, I declared my candidacy for the president of D&D Beyond. I want to thank my constituents for their inventive slogans and mottos that they

sent in. I wanted to read a few that you'll be seeing on the hashtag SamForPresident campaign trail. These are just some of my favorites. Yes We Can Trip, pretty good, by Jay Viviano. Not My by Alyssa Toomes. That's good. Crit's about to get real from Jetpack Paul. I did not have sexual relations with that manticore. That's Arsequeef. Putting the D in D&D Beyond by Jarson Kames, and Stay Turnt by Brian Foster. Those are some good ones. That one's taken. Yes. Now, I may not know exactly what the president of D&D Beyond does, but I know it's an important job, and therefore I feel like I deserve it.

But I can't win this race alone, so I'm going to need a campaign, I'm sorry, a Sampain manager. Oh, Jesus. So I've enlisted our own Danny Carr to be my Sampain manager. Oh, Jesus. So I've enlisted our own Dani Carr to be my Sampain manager. Yes. Hi, Dani, thanks for coming tonight.

Hi, you know, I really have more important things to do right now. I'm sure you do, but thank you for volunteering. You said you were paying me. I am, in the form of tape for your reel. So thank you. Anyway, Dani is here tonight to keep me on track as my campaign manager as I launch into my first ever

Sampain Rally speech. Oh boy. Friends, critters, countrymen, D&D Beyond is a horrifying wasteland of shame and and only I can pull it from the foul, swampy depths of... I mean, D&D Beyond is a wonderful app, and a sponsor of this program, where you can build your favorite characters and track their adventures and treasures. Which is why I, Sam Riegel, will unceremoniously decimate its current president, leaving their bodies in... I mean, I'm eager to share my plans to improve this already excellent app. Here is what the SAM for President Sampain stands for. Under my Riegelship, every character

will come preloaded with one inspiration point. Your default app background will be a picture of me. All characters get 69 hit points. Oh, yeah. Nope. Okay. You'll have a new option, a short rest, a long rest, or a sex nap. Well, that's it for this rally, folks. Next time, we'll unveil my opponent, who will be... To be determined. In fact, I would like you guys to tweet at me, at D&D Beyond, and why not, at her, at Danny Carr. It's Danny Carr.

It's Danny Carr, with the hashtag SamForPresident, and tell me which one of these guys or gals I should run against. Yes, because it's going to be a fun, exciting battle for the White House or Gray House or whatever color the building is where D&D Beyond is. Anyway, thank you, and god bless Sam-merica. Oh. Oh. Thank you, Sam. Thank you, Danny. Thank you, Danny.

Thank you, Danny. Thank you! Run away. Run while you can. I love how we just weekend updated your own sponsorship assets. That's amazing. Thank you, Sam. Wow. Thank you, Danny, and thank you, D&D Beyond,

for your unending patience with this weekly this. Couple more announcements. The second season of Between the Sheets begins next week, this coming Monday, January 28th at 7 p.m. Pacific. The VOD will be available on the Critical Role YouTube channel on Wednesday, January 28th at 7 p.m. Pacific. The VOD will be available on the Critical Role YouTube channel on Wednesday, January 30th. Very first guest is friend of the show, musician, rapper, and all-around awesome nerd, Logic.

Yeah! And author. And author, and all sorts of other awesome stuff. He's a very prolific young man, and I can say that because I'm older than him. Yeah! But yeah, super excited. It's going to be great. Happy to kick it off with such an awesome guest.

It's going to be so good. It's going to be good. It's a good episode. I've been enjoying the crossover of a whole bunch of Critical Role fans going, Who's Logic? And then a whole bunch of Logic fans going, What's Critical Role? And I was like, this is going to be a train wreck of happiness. I'm so excited. I'm excited. And I want to give a very, very special thanks

to our friends at Wyrmwood, who have continuously supported Critical Role and the community for a very, very long time. And they actually created for the live show and for the show here, this badass DM screen that I get to unfair. Oh, it's a dragon! Oh, it's a dragon! Put it back!

God! It's PTSD. Yeah, that's okay, you get that. Yeah, they did a really good job with it. But special thanks especially to Jason MacDonald, who's the master craftsman at Wyrmwood, who made both this DM screen and the table that we play onto life.

Jason, you did an amazing job. I had a chance of meeting him at the live show, but you're awesome. It's amazing. And a special thanks to Critter Chris Gladys for our How Do You Want to Do This Calligraphy design, which is also used on here. Yeah.

Oh, God, not too much. Chris, thank you, you did an amazing job. You have some ZX. Apparently. I think that's all I have for announcements right now, guys. So, what have you done? I don't know, I just found some weird writing on. Didn't this, I feel like you copied that.

Did I copy this from something? What is this? Let me see that. I don't know. Didn't you have to copy some sort of? Yes. Yeah, that was when we were talking about the four walls and the temple, right?

Okay, okay. I like the idea that you just sleep rune sometimes. We knew this day would come. Trapped from the first four days. Yeah, thank you, Satan. Officially played too much DMV. Not possible. Anyway. Not possible.

I think with that, we can go ahead and bring ourselves into tonight's episode of Critical Role. The adventure begins, they were always beside you Your nerdy best friends and the DM to guide you And they rise from the flames for the battles ahead Villains beware cause you're about to be dead They got magic and flair They got falchions and cunning

They don't see over there There's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting Rise up, don't see over there, there's a monster incoming Inspiration is waiting, rise up, don't think twice Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice Can you answer the call Digging deep in your soul As the legend unfolds Now it's your turn To roll

And welcome back, everybody. So last we left off, the Mighty Nein had been returning from Nicodranas. They had made their way northward from the Menagerie Coast, left their ship in the care of their favorite tortle to earn money at sea while you were away. I like tortles. You made your way northward, past the Wu Yun Gorge, back into the Grendalian Empire. Passed through Trostenwald and Alfield and met up with Bryce for a bit to catch up, and then made your way towards Felderwin. Upon arriving, you discovered the city

was still visibly scarred from the recent assault that it had seemed to suffer at the hands of the Kryn Dynasty from Xhorhas. Upon perusing the streets, you came to discover that the location that Nott was leading you towards was in ashes. It's apothecary. Upon inspecting the vicinity, you did not find a body,

but you did find a basement where you found ruined furniture, a few traps, a chest, and a mysterious chair that has grabbed the nation's imagination. I still feel like I haven't really had a talk about that chair. It's the chair. Y'all going to die.

All for a chair. You thought the gazebo was bad. Anyway, so. Gazebo. Did we put the chair in the bag of bones? We should have. Anyway, so. Fucking Zeebo. Did we put the chair in the bag of bones? We should have. Oh, damn it. I'm running out of breath.

However, you also found that apparently the person who previously lived there was nowhere to be found, and the son of that individual was being held at a nearby home of another person who lives here in Felderwin. You went there with Nott, Nott took the form of a halfling and proceeded to speak to this child as her son. And after a bit of interesting conversation

and curiosity, said goodbye, and after a bit of interesting conversation and curiosity, said goodbye, and you turned to find these two powerful magic users that Caleb had identified as members of the Cerberus Assembly were walking their way towards the Ashen Ruins of the Apothecary, deep in conversation. And that is where we left off.

So, Mighty Nein, what would you like to do? Could you use, before we leap in, could you give a quick physical description, again, of the two Archmages? Yes, yes, I can do that. So we have Lady Vess DeRogna. Yeah, lady, a bunch of letters. Yes.

Is an elven woman in fine, flowing clothes of green and black, deep green with black designs across and around the edges of the billowing sleeves. Jewelry around the fingers, you can see a number of rings and a series of necklaces that each contain some sort of a circular gem that dangles from them, like a little collection of colors. She has short, medium brown hair and appears to be of not a young elfin age necessarily, but not as old as her current compatriot, which is Martinette Ludinus D'Aleth, who's the Archmage of Domestic Protections. He has long white hair. Also elven. Also elven. They're both elven. Deep blue robes.

Yep. Keeping trebs on that. That's really the extent of what you can see at this distance. You are currently a few houses down, standing outside of old Edith's house. You just, in the moment of the tension of the conversation that you had just had and the intensity of Nott's disposition. You're glancing and see them walking up and stopping right at the cusp, talking to each other.

At the apothecary, not where we are. Correct, the apothecary. Two separate locations. Yes. We need to go now, right now. Oh, yes, yes, we should. We should get off the streets right away. These things we have, we have to get them out of here. I know a place we can go.

We can go just to near the river. There's a river near here. Near the way? No, please. Okay. How far is the river? From where you're standing here, not terribly far, maybe a ten minute walk.

Is it the opposite direction of the Hun, huh? You could loop around a bit. You could probably go southward. How far is the river? From where you're standing here, not terribly far, maybe a ten minute walk. Is it the opposite direction of the Hun, huh? You could loop around a bit. You could probably go southward. You're not that far from the Samir River, so you can just scoot a southwestern direction. An arc, you probably may get 15 minutes to avoid them entirely.

We should take the cart, too, huh? Yes. Yes, let's go. So I will lead them to a spot on the riverbank that I know. All right. So moving past the handful of people in the city that are noticing this strange band of adventurers that have wandered through, you make your way past the outskirts,

and there you can see the river itself. Cruising right along. It would be a beautiful landscape if there wasn't this intensity of emotion and the distant haze of long, grayed smoke that still hangs over the vicinity of the partially burned farmlands. But nevertheless, Nott leads you over

towards one of the shaded banks under a few trees, and you come to a stop. Are we being followed? Make a perception check. First of all, I'm not going to put pressure. First of all, I'm not going to do it. That didn't count, that didn't count. Oh, that's good, that's good.

20, 21. 21. Glancing about, you do not see anybody keeping watch. What you do notice, however, is that a lot of the patrolling Righteous Brand, like the small bands that have been keeping tabs, are all gathering towards the southern edge where the farm fields actually,

the Felderwin tillage hit the town of Felderwin. Whereas they were scattered, they're all amassing in one space. We heard someone describe the operatives from Xhorhas coming up out of the ground over by the farmlands, correct? Correct. Yeah.

That's as much as you've heard. Yeah. So hey, what the fuck? Yeah, that's a good question, but also we just stole some very important things and we saw what is probably the owners going into the building. Is there anything we need to do in this town now

to help you do what you need to do here? Or can we leave? No, we can't leave. No, we can't leave. I mean, you can leave, but I need to stay. Is this person you're looking for here? Do you know? Do you have any ideas? I don't know, but I know that, I don't know.

I don't know where he is, but I know that we'll find clues here, or we may find clues here. I need to look. I need to look, and I need to start right away, and I suppose you all can go if you want, but. I will stay and help you. Yeah, we'll stay. Caleb, are you worried about another attack?

What are you so nervous about? We are a target. We were being stared at as we came through here. I think we need somewhere safe to talk. I think that there's a lot of things we need to cement up. This is about as quiet a spot as I know in town. I don't want to go to a pub or anything. No, no, obviously not.

We need privacy. Yes. I mean, are they going to... I mean, you're just here to check on your son? So that's a good cover, I guess? Who's it your son, or are you even a goblin? Okay, okay, all right. So you probably have some questions for me,

and that's all right. One or two. You like a thousand. Maybe. Okay. I mean, if it's your son, that's really sad, Nott. No, no, I know, I know. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for surprising you all back there and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you more before. Are you okay?

I don't know, but I, you know, I'm, I feel like, I don't think any of us need to pretend that we all don't have some secrets, and we've all been keeping some secrets from each other, and sometimes I feel like even maybe the thing that brought us together is that we're sort of bonded by

dishonesty a little bit. Not me. No secrets, open book. I'm pretty open to... I hear you. Well, for some of us, anyway. For me, anyway. I've been holding onto some secrets. Just, you know, I feel like

it's almost like putting up an armor or something to protect you from the past or an armor or something to protect you from the past or from regrets or something. But I feel like, for some of us, it could also be like a chain weighing us down and keeping us from moving forward. Maybe it's time now to sort of

remove that chain and be open and honest so that we can move ahead. So yes, I'll tell you what you want to know. What do you want to know? Are you a goblin? Is that your son for real? Okay. Well, hi.

My name's Nott the Brave, and I am a little goblin girl. Okay. But once upon a time, I was Veth, a young halfling woman. And before that, a halfling child who grew up

being told that she was not pretty and not brave and not coordinated and not smart and just not. And that's you, that's how you looked? This is how you looked? Yeah. But you're so pretty.

I was. And then, you know, time went by and I got a little bit older and I was made fun of quite a bit. I had this, people thought I was strange because I collected things. I had lots of collections. They were really outstanding. I collected wax seals and pieces of paper, colored paper,

and some buttons and fabric. Collected wax seals? All kinds, yeah. Do you still have those? I don't, I'm afraid not. That's kind of cool, actually. Well, they didn't think so. I had brothers and people in town

who would just ridicule me. That was here? Yes, I lived here. Then one day, I was playing a game with some other boys, and they dared one of their friends to give me a kiss. Spin the bottle. And I...

The boy was very nice, and he actually seemed to like it. And he and I became friendly, and eventually eventually we did what people do and got married. Oh, that's not, I went somewhere else. Yeah, married, yeah. And he didn't mind my strangeness, and I helped him get his apothecary up and running.

He was a brilliant chemist and could make acids and potions and oils and bleaches for fabrics and dyes and all sorts of things, and I helped him, and he took care of me, and eventually we had a baby named Luke. He was a bright boy, very smart. He learned to talk very early and walk very early. Such a smart boy.

That's who you saw back there, is my son. So was he right? Did he die? I think so. I think so. We had a rough winter in Felderwind. There was not a lot of crops, and I think some of the animals had died that winter.

This river I brought you to, this sort of... It's a beautiful place. I used to come here with Yeza. It's also an beautiful place, I used to come here with Yeza. It's also an important place because this is the, the goblins would come from over there, and they would come and raid us from the other side of the river. And I think after that winter, they got particularly hungry,

and more dangerous, and more daring, and they came into town and raided more and more until one day they, well, they took us, they took me and my husband and my child, and they held us in one of their camps. And I don't know if it was days or weeks, I'm not sure, but Luke was not doing well. He was starting to starve and I knew that we needed to get out of there somehow.

Yeza is a very bright man, but he's not a fighter. So I had to do what I had to do. We ran. We ran in the dead of night, and they weren't fast. I've been chased a lot my life by boys making fun of me, and I'm pretty fast. So I told them to run, run to the river,

and I broke off, and I ran a different way, and the goblins followed me. And when they found me, they surrounded me, and when they found me, they surrounded me and I fought. I had a vial of acid that Yeza had handed me, and I threw it in the face of the one trying to catch us. I didn't like that. They took me back to their camp and I think he died from his wounds and he was something like their leader and he had a wife

and she brought me to another woman in a hood, a magic woman. I don't know who she was. I never saw her eyes or anything, but this goblin told the woman, make her suffer. And they did. They brought me to this river. And they drowned me in it.

I can still feel the water in my lungs, and my ears, and my nose, and then nothing. Until I woke up and saw I woke up and saw the hands, those hands of the skin.

I looked in a puddle and I could see what they made me. They made me, they made me everything that I thought I was. Not pretty. Not good. Just not. I'll be honest, I've started forgetting what it's like to be a halfling, to be me.

I don't remember everything anymore. I feel like every day I'm more and more goblin. I don't like it at all. I don't like myself at all. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'm sorry I lied. And I'm sorry, Caleb, that I didn't tell you. I should have told you. You would have understood. And maybe you could have helped me. I don't know.

I feel like you're almost there, though. Almost strong enough to help, I just didn't want to distract you from your path. Anyway. That's how I got to you. And that's why I can't be in that town, and he can't see me like this. My son can't see me like this. No one there can.

Does your husband know? Or does he not know? I've sent him things. So he knows you're alive. Well, I only recently started signing the letters. I don't know if he believes it or not. I don't know what he would think of me. The people in that town,

they're told to kill a goblin on sight or run and get help. Children are told rhymes. They're told to kill a goblin on sight, or run and get help. Children are told rhymes. It's, if he saw me like this, I don't even know if he would believe it's me. No, no, I mean, not. You ran and got help, here we are.

It's the right thing to do. We're here to help. How long has it been? Since I've been like this? Yeah. Ah. Well, they turned to me, and then they kept me around. They used me like a slave, really. I would clean out their messes and clean up after the meals. And I would help their one that tortured.

I would help him for months. Maybe six months. And then I ran. And that's when I found you shortly after. So maybe a year? No, more. More than a year., year and a half? I don't know.

I don't know. Not exactly. It's all sort of a blur. I feel like we can get this fixed. We're here now. We can do something. We just have to take some time, think carefully and slowly. I don't think we have time, he's gone.

They could be killing him now, these people that have him. Do we know who we think that is? Is it the people you know? Are we, is there anyone else? Is there anyone coming? Do we hear anything? Make a perception check. Your emotions are transfixed, and even though you look around you,

your attention is still so focused on Nott that nothing catches your eye. Your eye. We can do something about this, but we're going to have to, you're going to have to trust us, and you're going to have to be careful, because if we move too quickly,

we're just going to go running in the wrong direction. And alone. And you need help. I will try to restrain myself, but honestly, I don't know for how long. I mean. Would it help if we cleared your head? What do you mean?

Well. We need to, if you need a minute to be here, we can maybe sift some of the contents of that flask out of you for a little while, just for a minute. You can get back to it when you need it, but for now, maybe Impulse isn't the, may not be your friend right now.

Okay, if you think so, Mr. Clay. I'm going to try and do that. We had a brief conversation about that last week. So you're going to be casting Lesser Restoration? Yeah. Try to undrunk, not? Technically, alcohol is a toxin. I have to know what it is, and I have to be going for it.

Yeah, so I'll allow it. I am so sorry. You feel this warm glow emanate from Caduceus' hands and in that moment, the fuzzy numbness that you are accustomed to sitting in, especially in places of great fear or emotion, fades and everything's back to being crystal clear. Sometimes the truth takes a little while to get there.

This feels much worse. I know. It feels terrible. Actually, this is terrible. This is how you all are all the time. This is not fun. Majority. Yeah. Nott, I know this place is. Do you have some candy? Yes, lots.

This place is quiet, but you actually know if there's a waterfall upstream a little bit, or a brook? Something with some noise. Might drown out anyone who's listening. Maybe somewhere we can sleep, too. Further off a beaten path. We walk upstream, maybe?

There's no such a place. There's not much in the way of a waterfall, unfortunately. You're in the center of the valley, so what hills there are are just hills. The river here continues cutting through the valley, but you're probably a good, off the top of my head, 40 or so miles from any elevation to cause a major waterfall.

Like babbling brooks. I mean, you're next to the river, and it's whatever little noise it's making, it's nice. We know that there are tunnels. Yeah, but that's where the farmlands. Which is, I think where all those soldiers were going. Well, maybe we should find somewhere in town to hold up and keep you out of sight.

There was the one inn that burned down, but there is one called the Goldfield Tavern and Lodge. That's one of the more traveled inns. So a lot of people that come in and out of Felderwin, that's one of the more popular destinations. I suppose, what's your husband's name? Yeza. Yeza Brenato. I think perhaps if we're going to,

we should come together with a game plan. I think it would be respectable if people thought that someone was looking for Yeza in his interests. People will be less suspicious if we're asking questions about someone who disappeared if we were perhaps hired by a trust fund of your son or otherwise. And this is just something that is owed to him. It's just business.

We don't have to let them know it's personal. That's actually very clever. Yeah. That's fine, but, and I'm sorry, Caleb. I'm sorry for what I said before, but, and I'm sorry, Caleb. I'm sorry for what I said before, but I feel like part of what we'll need to do to find him is to know what he was doing before he was taken,

and that involves you. Yeah, you definitely puked all over that apothecary, so it's clear that something's not right. I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to, but I need you now. I need you to tell me what you know, what these people might be doing or might have taken him to or done with him.

I mean, it does seem like they were using him. And what is Dunamis? And how do you know them? That's a lot, if you can take your time. As you're ready. Are we going to Fy'ra? Do you want to get somewhere safer first? Further away. All right, why don't we keep moving upstream? What's the direction away from the conflict?

I mean, there's a northeast and southwest. Northeast would be more in the direction of the fields, in clearer view. Southwest would be just in the direction of the fields in clearer view. Southwest would be just further away from civilization. I'll also say that we can start the wagon up and I can drive and keep an eye out, and if you're all inside the wagon, no one's going to see any of you.

Sure, let's head south. Just find a patch of woods to hide in. Are you okay leaving your son? There's little clusters of trees here and there. It may be, in the end, safer staying in town. People staying in the woods seem like they're trying to avoid something, and there's a lot of soldiers. If you're on business, you go to town,

even if the town's a little rough. So we'll keep going around, and then when it's time to go, I think maybe we go into town and get a room. Maybe make a little bubble in the room if we have to. I don't want to talk in town. So we'll take, we're going to take a long, we're going to take a scenic route.

I'll take a long time, and if I see people, I'm not going to drive towards them. Before we go, are you sure your son is safe with this one? No, I'm not sure at all. What did you tell her last? Are they staying, are they going? They're staying. I gave them some money.

She seemed, Edith seemed to think that they were okay for the time being, and that there's not going to be any more imminent attacks. Do other people in town know that Old Edith cares for your son, that they're connected in some way? No idea. Does Old Edith know your current form? No one does.

She just thinks you're not dead. Well, I'm not dead. Well, I'm not. You do not think that your child made of that. I don't know, but I know that I... I needed to see him. I forgot what he looked like. And he forgot what I looked like. And I feel like that's...

That's impossible. That's unsustainable. We need to know the ones we love. And I don't know what that was. I don't know how he felt, but for me, it's a step, as painful as it was, it will be a step towards something. Nott, you drowned.

You drowned and you just spent three months underwater. That's incredible. I don't know if you realize that, but... Yeah, it was not... It was great. It was... It sucked. Yeah. It was very brave. It was terrible.

Yeah. Very brave. You guys have rubbed off on me, I guess. I don't want to tell you what to do, but I feel like our previous experience would lean towards getting your son and her out of here, especially if the people that have taken your husband are still here, and if they're searching for answers or asking people questions, that could lead to her and him. They could go stay with my mama.

They could stay at the Lava Chateau for the time being. Anywhere west, really. Yeah, now's the time to move them. You're right. How? How? I mean, how can I, how would I convince? Maybe it's not you. Maybe one of us go.

Go to tell them? Mm-hmm. I mean. Not a bad idea. How do they get there? It's a dangerous journey even for us. You saw the borders. It loops into Caduceus' social worker plan, actually. I don't know if necessarily crossing the border

is the way to go, but at least going further inland. If they do decide to cross, I think they're less concerned with people going out more than coming in. Do we know any place safe, closer? Is Alfield safe? I mean. Safe as anything. Bryce is there.

That's not a bad idea, send a letter. Ask Bryce if they can take care of this. Do you think Bryce would be down for more responsibility and obligations? I imagine if we pack a few gold in, and it's not much just to find some room and board for a couple people. That's true.

And if it does continue to drift that way, Bryce will be sure to get them out quick. Or send word. Mm-hmm. Close off, though, it is near the border and the gates. Shorter journey out. I could send a message, see if Bryce would be okay with that.

Not a bad idea. Okay. Yes, yes, please do. There's a lot to figure. This will be one less thing to worry about. All right. And then we try to find Yeza? Absolutely. Or some sleep. Yes, yes.

Yes. I could not be able to do this in 25 words. It's so hard. Cast it twice. This is going to Bryce. This is going to Bryce. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I believe in you, Jester, you can do this.

Woman and child incoming, take care of them. Oh, that's good, like don't talk in full sentences. Why didn't I think of that? Stop. Do I say stop? Stop. Don't waste it on stop. I mean, that's what you do if you're doing the telegram.

But then I could just vocally stop because Bryce will hear me. Stop. Right. me. Stop. Right. Okay. Okay, I'm going to cast Sending. Okay. Hello.

Oh boy. It's Jester. Two people incoming. A woman and child. It's Jester. Two people incoming. A woman and child. Take care of them, please. We're sending money with them. I think you have two more words. This is important.

Oh, good. Cut off the is. I thought I had five more words. You have two more, you have two more. Okay. This is important. Signed. Oh.

Plaisalp. That is one word. Plaisalp. As the sporadic phrases make their way through the arcane weeds of the various magical ley lines that invisibly traverse the exterior of Exandria. They make their way towards Bryce's ears somewhere in Alfield and they respond a moment later, Um, all right.

I'll do my best. Please don't send too many more. That was it. Okay. I think they're going to help. Okay. Okay. That's something, that's something. Fjord is shaking their head,

trying to get better reception as it's all over. Cutting out an item. Okay. Oh, sorry about that. Yeah, it's no problem. So shall we ride around a bit? I'm going to. Yes, because I want to hear what Caleb has to say. I also want to get

a sense of things, so we're going to take a lazy meander around the area. I want to get a sense of where things are, get a map in my head, and I'm going to be paying very close attention. Like through the city? No, around, like on the outskirts. Okay, it'll take you a while. I'm going to keep going around until they...

Okay. All right, well, make a perception check for me, Caduceus, as you guys are passing around the southern edge, heading towards the western side of Felderwin. Okay. That's okay, it's still all right. Eight, no wait, no, I'm so sorry, that's wrong, 13. 13, okay.

Keeping an eye out, I mean, sorry, that's wrong, 13. 13, okay. Keeping an eye out, the main thing you notice, it seems like most, majority of the Righteous Brand have gathered and are heading northeast. They are leaving Felderwin. Leaving? Correct. All right. Does it look like they've discovered the tunnels or no? You don't know, you're too far away.

Too far away. You haven't really asked any specific questions to the local crownsguard. That'll be for civilization, that's cool. But best you can see here, I mean, the flames have been long out. What brief cinders and wisps of smoke that have been slowly burning themselves out over the past couple weeks or so

are on the very, very tail end. It looks like Felderwin has fallen to at least a semblance of temporary neutrality. The people are going about their lives. The tillage, the damage that has been done has been done. Now it's just trying to pick up and move on. So long. We're in the wagon? You're in the wagon.

You're not on the western side of the village where you can see the northward tillage all around you. I'm going to look out and I will let anybody know if anyone's within 60 yards. Are you listening to where you can contribute? I think I'm listening, but I'm not doing a very good job of it. Because you're to where you can contribute? I think I'm listening, but I'm not doing a very good job of it. Because you're checking out of the...

Because I'm... Periscoping. Hey, Jester. Since we're going to try and be honest with each other and turn a new leaf. Are you in love with me? Well, in a way. I didn't sleep with Dairon.

She wasn't my roommate. She was my teacher. Oh. I don't know why I told you that. I don't either. Yeah. Teachers are cool, too. You slept with your teacher?

No, no, I didn't sleep with her at all. I totally made that up. So you just cared about your teacher? Yeah. Good for you. Thanks. I know there's more pressing matters, but what did she teach you?

How to kick ass and take names, bitch. Oh, fuck. Cool. Snaps. Oh, fuck. Cool. Snaps. Yeah, I don't know. I guess it's easier to pretend like you don't care. Well, I figured you cared since you were checking up on her.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm a little transparent sometimes. But I totally thought she was your roommate. You were really good about that. Thank you. You're welcome. I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally tapped that, but like.

All right, can we maybe circle back to the... We can tell you're really, you know, scared. And that's okay, to be scared. We just don't know why. Maybe if you share with us your apprehensions, it'll ease it a bit. Oh, Mist. Look at this, man. Your name is Veth.

It was? My name was Bren. Aldrich Ermondrude. Was. And that's why he looked at me that day. Did you die, too? Twinsies? Did you die, too? Twinsies?

I have been using you all. How? I am from Rexxentrum. I attended the Soltryce Academy. And, um, I, I was plucked by one of the Cerberus Assembly with a few others and was being trained to do the kinds of things that I fear may have been done to... Yes. Yeah.

And Yes. Yeah. A lot of big plans for me that didn't pan out, and I went a little crazy. And I ran away. I ran away. I ran away. I've been on the run for a long time, and I was tired of starving, and I met... I met you, and was a little less hungry for a while.

I've just been afraid for a long time, and two of the people in that town over there are on the Cerberus Assembly. You know them? I know who they are. Would they know who you are? I don't think so. But I've walked past their portrait at school many times. Well, they're high up then, huh?

One of them is the head of the Cerberus Assembly. Holy shit. The head of the Sorbry's Assembly. Holy shit. The head of the whole thing? Is that big? Mr. Fancy Pants. Yeah. Wait, isn't that where you want to go, Fjord? I mean, I did.

That's the center of magical teaching in the Empire, as I understood it. It's really bad or something? There's good teachers. It's everything that they describe it to be, but... After going there for several months, one of the Assembly, who also would teach on occasion,

started interviewing me, calling me in and asking me a lot of questions. And he sort of put me in advanced class. Me and a few others. I don't... I don't want you all to be seen with me, because if you are seen with me by one of them,

they will use you to get to me. Well, I mean, I don't want them to see me either because they'll kill me and everyone I'm with. So, anyone in town. So I think we'll be hiding for some time. You met the man who trained me. His name is Trent Ikithon.

That's why you always make that face. I'm sorry, Caleb. I'm not a very good person. Well, I don't think our actions define who we are all the time. Good people do bad things sometimes. Even bad people do good things. I think you're a good person. Yeah, and for the record, Nott, I don't think it's us that's been rubbing off on you. I think it's you that's been rubbing off on us. Also, I don't think a very bad person would care about us.

I don't think a very bad person would care that he was very bad person would care about us. I don't think a very bad person would care that he was very bad. Do you care about us? You've told us several times how you've been using us. Are you secretly in love with me? SAM and LAURA laugh. I'm worried about your husband. I know the things that they can do. I start to unwrap one of my arms.

Arms? Like the skin? No, I have been wearing bandages on my arm. There are little, very faint scars all up the arm. Cuts or burns? There are scars, faint scars from cuts. From cuts. He used to put crystals in. He experimented on us, on the three of us.

What would they do? What, crystals? He was trying to strengthen us. The dunamis? No, no. The first time I have ever seen that word was in your libraries. I just haphazardly scrolled into a book.

No explanation. No, we, everything was for Empire. We were being trained to serve our Empire. Above all else, he was a little mad himself. That is, he was mad. I'm curious as to how much was for the Empire and how much the Empire was availed

for his own personal exploits. He believed that the unwashed masses relied on their base instincts, and the highest calling was to rise above the muck and control of the cattle for the good of all. That sounds like a bad person. But we were at war. And many of us felt that way,

feel that way. Do you still feel that way? I don't believe in anything now. This Trent, does he know these two that we saw? Oh yes. Yes, yes. And I don't want one more thing on my head to have you guys.

It's probably too late, anyway. How powerful are these two? Are normal tricks, would they fall short? The Cerberus Assembly are the most powerful mages in the Empire. Over two centuries ago, a number of mages went to war in the streets of Rexxentrum,

and it was bloody and awful, and eventually they came to a truce and banded together and proposed to the king at the time that they serve as a advising body alongside the throne. Would they see if we were disguised? Or would they have to look for us? Do you know what I mean?

I don't know for sure, but there is a reason why I did not use anything like that back there. Okay. So we need to give them a very wide berth. But at the same time, we need to figure out where. Why would they have taken my husband? He was not a magic person, he was just a chemist. I don't know, it has something to do with the thing.

It says it, it says it, it says it. But I don't know why him was... His instincts are solid. What instincts? Yes, I'm assuming. While I find this alchemist obnoxious in his simplicity, I'm sorry, I don't believe that. I don't either.

The Academy's eye for talent proves itself again. Was he gifted in his work? He was very brilliant in his work, but... I mean, I never saw him do any magic, magic-y things. Did he experiment? It says they want him to produce a number of batches of this, of that liquid, the one that we stole.

That is what is written about there. It talks about, it's, listen, I don't pretend to know what we're talking about, but it does not seem like anything that I ever studied. He was good at what he did. He could turn, he could refine anything. They wouldn't kill him then. They need him.

They need him to make batches over the next 12 to 16 months. I'm sure he's alive, but if he was good at breaking things down, taking them apart, experimenting on things, this thing that we have falls directly into that. It says they were looking for a way to achieve their ends without the object. I don't know what they need.

I hope he is alive, I truly do. They will make his life very painful, though. Trent Ikithon was looking at Yasha. He was side-eyeing Yasha. What do you mean? Well, she's really hot. I feel like I've heard these words before

when we were in that bar. He looks for prodigies, people with innate talent. I don't think it matters. If they took my husband, where would they have taken him? Their headquarters are in Rexxentrum? At a school? The city of Rexxentrum.

The whole city is their headquarters? They're based there. The Cerberus Assembly actually has a pretty heavy hold on Rexxentrum. And the Empire. They are close to as powerful, arguably more powerful than the king. I wonder if maybe we can break him out

before he gets there. Maybe it only just happened. Do they have magical means of transport? We watched Lunadus Daleth appear 200 feet in front of us. So they could already be there. Maybe. I'd want to lay money on it.

When did you get your new name? I used a lot of names. Caleb is just what I told you. What do you prefer? I don't know. Caleb, let's stick with Caleb for now. Well... Caleb, let's stick with Caleb for now. Well, shit. It seems like if we are going to chase down

my husband, you're going to have to go into danger. Too much danger. Oh. I honestly don't know if we can, if we are up to this. Unless they're en route on land, maybe. But, uh... That's all the might of the Empire.

Are we going to have to scout out and listen in on people's conversations? We should just ask. We should ask to see if anyone saw Carriage, anything, leaving town with Yeza. Maybe if we go with, you know, anything, leaving town with Yeza. Maybe if we go with, you know, our insurance company scheme, we can say that we believe there's been fraud

and he's not really dead or something. Sure. Not. Yes. Sorry, you were going to say something? No, I just had more questions. All right, I was going to ask you a question. Go ahead. I don't think you know the answer, though.

Your son mentioned that a mean lady with pointy ears keeps coming by. Is that one of these people that we saw? Lady? They had pointy ears, they're elves, right? Both elves. Did one of them look mean? Well, if he's talking about Vess DeRogna.

Is that someone who would've, do you know her to be someone who would be, someone who could harness chemicals and? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, no. Vess DeRogna is the Archmage of Antiquities. She is half a recluse. She taught at the school, not me, or years above me.

What does that mean, antiquities? Yeah, would she be interested in the things that yet no one's heard of? She's a historian. She knows... She has uncovered mysteries of the past, they would say, at school. She's a history buff, and awful as well, probably. She's awful.

I mean, even if she's- But could she be the one who was visiting? It sounds like they've been here watching your husband for quite some time, which means checking in on your son. Daleth is domestic protection. He is the head of the military. So if they are both here, I would imagine that he is here

overseeing all of the red brands we saw, and she is probably here trying to figure out what's in that bag. And then, do we have, because I just don't know how this all connects. Do we know why the Krik's also attacked? Did they sense a disturbance in their juice or whatever that stuff is? The Dunamis? Did they sense a disturbance in their juice

or whatever that stuff is? The dunamis? Do you think maybe they're attacking because we have the thingy? We've had the thingy for a long time. It doesn't explain why they would attack here now. Yeah. They could be conning the Empire for it.

They might not be the only one? Okay. It feels like it is a piece of dunamis, right? Caleb, roll an intelligence check for me. Thank you. Be smart, be so smart. 19.

That's where she is so smart. 19. That's pretty smart. Where's Mark? On the notes, where it mentions beacons. It says there's other beacons. More than one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and this thing that we had was called the beacon. Yeah.

Right, okay. Okay, so there's more than one. And we saw an attack on the tower in Zadash. That was ages ago at this point, and now they're well into the Empire. Let me experiment. As we continue to invoke the beacon, that means they have one.

Or had one. Right, with extremely focused energy of different spectrums and sources, divine and arcane, the effects unleashed are ever curious and reach far beyond this laboratory. The dunamis field often slightly, sightlessly encompassed an entire portion of the town, with locals complaining of ill, sluggish sensation

akin to being dragged down. So would you- So they had one of our dodecahedrons here. What if you put the dodecahedron on the tripod thing that we got, right? And then we hit it with some sort of spell. I wonder if it would amplify that spell. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm.

And also ring the dinner bell gesture. I think that's the more dangerous part. We're super close to the front lines, or at least to them. We do that, we might get exactly what we're asking for, but then trouble might also come calling. That's true. The people that we saw fighting, having

the DC fight in the air, full-on anime battle, did we recognize the, because I know there were two, there were wizards that were fighting the Krik assassins that were coming in. It seemed to be the case, yes. Do we recognize the clothing and appearance of the archmage and Lady Vesna? Is it the same people?

Not the people that are currently with you now, no. The people that are in the city. The same robes. There isn't a uniform robe. No, there is no, and you would note this, too, like even mages in a union aren't like, let's all wear similar uniforms. They all very much see themselves as individuals

in a circle. What about the Annexes? Hmm? The Annexes? People who, it was in the lore that you shared with me. Oh, right, right, right, yeah. No, no, for students and everything, there'd be uniforms, but as far as members of the Assembly proper,

yeah, there's no consistent uniform amongst members of the Assembly. They, yeah, they're, I mean, as is the nature, when you get to a certain level of arcane capabilities, you know, even working with other mages, there's kind of a general, for the most part, an idea that, well, I'm still better than them, but. These papers conjecture that in Gordranas,

they are able to control fate and time. And clearly it was stolen from them and brought here, so it could be the source of their presence here. Caleb, you were in the Library of the Cobalt Soul. Yeah. When you stumbled upon Dunamis for the first time. Yeah, just it was not, yeah, it was a note scrawled to the side of a book.

It said that the Cerberus Assembly was looking into some sort of new arcane study and the word Dunamis was written, that was it. What were you looking for when you found it? What were you trying to find? I was studying history, and I need to become more powerful if I want to do anything. You still haven't answered my previous question

of how you were using us and what that means to you. Oh, yeah. Look at me. I am a string bean. I'm weak as it comes. I am weak. Look at that. Look at her. Look at me. Her guns are bigger than mine.

You have no guns. That was an exaggeration that day. You are just fast and quick and talented. Okay, okay, okay. Was that a compliment? I think so. Okay. Kind of like when you smile. You're like, there's a difference between using someone and relying on someone. That's what I was going to say.

Do you think that Fjord was using us? You think that Nott's been using us? Shut the door. You know, and we're also here volunteering our help. It's only using us if you don't like us. Do you like us, though? Yeah. Yeah. You do?

I, oh Jester. I am glad you see good in me. Caleb, you were right when you said earlier that it's too late now, that we're involved, but I don't think we see it in the same way that you do. It's too late now because whether you like it or not, we all care about you and are invested and like your happiness, I guess.

So... Okay. Don't run. You can say you don't believe in anything, and that's fine. Don't run. You can say you don't believe in anything, and that's fine. Believe in us just a little bit. I will consider it heavily. I will consider it heavily. You know, I'm sorry for not hearing you yesterday.

Honestly, you saying that you don't believe anything kind of put everything into perspective about that conversation. I heard that you were doubting me and us and our friendship. I don't doubt any of you at all. You two? Yeah, I'll have some if someone's making something. Oh my god.

You could give two shits. You're going to have to do this twice. One last time! We're going to be off camera. All very off camera. So do we avoid your two professors, or do we try to study them, divide them, interrogate one of them?

No. No. They are way too powerful for us. You don't know that. Fjord. What? I swallow shit and make it appear in my weapons. I'm fucking down to throw, you know what I'm saying? You can control water, which I can do, too. I'm not that powerful.

You don't have to minimize my new shit, okay? I'm real proud of it. I've had it for a fucking hot second. They've probably been studying for a very long time. And if I'm not wrong, they're elves. And elves live for a very long time. And they look kind of old, okay? So they're probably...

Elder gentlemen started the Cerberus Assembly over 250 years ago. Yeah, maybe we don't try to separate him. Right, well, what about the one that studies history? You met a bunch of really dangerous historians. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I have. What do I know, man? I'm fucking a sailor.

You're pretty powerful, okay? Meh. You're really strong, you're pretty powerful, okay? Meh. You're really strong, you're very handsome, you got some really cool spells, you can make darkness appear, it's really awesome. As much as I love it, it's not about me, okay? Hey, if you all don't stop arguing, I'm going to turn this cart right around.

Yes, sir! I don't know if you were arguing, I'm going to turn this cart right around. Yes, sir! I don't know if you were arguing, I just always wanted to say that. We were, we were having a big fight! Man. So what do we do? I'm going to start heading back to town regardless. It's getting cold.

We need to send your son on his way. Do we need to try and? Tangible goal that we can do. Do we want to ask if your husband was spotted leaving by some sort of natural means? Sure, yes. Then we kill the two elves. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. Maybe we hop into the room at night or something and just stabby stab. Yeah, you seduce one, I'll seduce the other, no problem.

I have a way with elves. It's like you two have been reading Tumblr. This is some, sorry, carry on. We'll do it one thing at a time. It would make me happy to even know that he's alive, to get some sort of confirmation that someone saw him alive or something. Have we talked about sending a message?

Maybe I can send a message to him. I mean, if he's in Super Magical Headquarters, I'm sure there might be a protection against that, but fuck is that? Is that a bad idea? That's a bad idea. Wait, you just, wait, what? You're trying to find out if someone's alive? Yeah. I knew that.

Oh. How? Yeah, you're a wild mother. The thing you did for me. Caduceus is a wild mom? Nope, nope, he has. He is such a wild mom, he's fighting all the time. This is not the only one of the toxic deities. Mom's gone wild?

Mom's gone wild. I needed the money. What? What is the process by which you would? Oh, I would just, I'd have a little ritual in the morning, meditate on it, see if I can feel anything tugging in some direction, and I couldn't know much, but I could know something. Do you think, Caleb, that they would sense that?

Is that a magical force, is that a divine force? It's a divine force, but I don't think that it would. Do you have to do it in the morning, or can you do it at night? I mean, I'd have to sleep, so. Oh, I understand. It all depends on how he reacts if Caduceus is able to contact him. I couldn't know much, but I could maybe,

at the very least, give you a yes, no. Maybe. That would make me very happy. So we head to the inn. Okay. We don't talk about anything when we're in the town, right? Except someone has to ask about...

We can do that. Cover of night. Helps. All right, Hacker, we're coming to town to talk to this famous alchemist, and this is really throwing something into our plans. I don't know, what do people throw, monkeys into plans?

What do people throw? A close. It's a wrench. Yeah, a wrench. Yeah, this has wrenched our monkey. A couple of us, tonight not me, but a couple of us could check the town out and ask some questions and ask if many people were taken away or not.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a bad idea. To you. I'm already in that way. I'm going to take everything that we've been looking at and stick it in the bag so that it can't be, you know,

scryed on or something. Okay. All right, so. You guys make your way towards Felderwin proper. Through this conversation, yeah, the majority of the Righteous Brain has moved on, heading northeast towards the front lines. Crownsguard are still present. There still is definitely, amongst those that are here, and

you could say that there are more Crownsguard present here than there usually are. Probably just to keep an eye now that the military has moved on. You make your way towards the center of the city, leading them towards the Goldenfield Tavern and Lodge. Heading inside, it's fairly empty. You place the card outside for the time being. Towards the bar on the far end, you see the familiar face of Simone Deepwell. He's the halfling, the barkeep and owner.

Dark brown skin, short gray, white hair, very cheerful demeanor, who seems to be excited at the prospect that folks are stopping in with all the chaos that's happened, as he leans over the front of the counter and goes, I'm going to look like just a gnome. Okay, just a gnome. The rest of you keeping it as is?

Hood up and I'm still dirty as sin. I think I've still got a little bit of time on my shaggy redhead. I know, am I out now? Yeah, most of the illusions you had in the city have faded at this time since you've been traversing the exterior, so. Okay, I know.

I'm good au naturel. Yeah, same. I'm going to button up and go full cobalt colors. You got it. So anyway, Simone leans forward and goes like, Well, hello there. Well, what can I do for you? You're looking for rooms for the night?

Mm-hmm. How many is that? Room each or? Four? Four rooms? Three? Three rooms, I think should do it. How many?

Three. Three? Three rooms, all right. Well, we got plenty of space with events being as they have been. I'll put you back about, let's say, one gold, one silver for the three. That sounds like a very good deal. Thank you so much. All right, no worries.

Yeah, I'll go work. Fumbles through some keys and passes them out to you. Feel free to distribute as need be. If you need anything, let me know. You said with events being as they have been, we notice there's been a ruckus recently. Yeah, you could say that. You could say that.

I mean, ruckus is a word. Calm the last few days? Any reason why we should be apprehensive this evening? I certainly hope not. I mean, we've pretty much seen the craziest thing Felderwin's ever seen in most of its history since War of the Dominion. So, I sincerely hope not.

I mean, it's one less competitive inn, but poor Dare. I just feel bad for everyone who lost their homes and businesses in that affair. It's not good. I understand. The aftermath. We saw troops leaving on our way in.

Yeah, they've been here a few weeks, just walking around, just in case they came back. They catch any of those that were guilty of all this? No, no, they came in without warning, and just tore through, burned things, and left. We were hoping to buy some potions while we were here. Do you know if there's a good alchemist shop or anything around?

Yeah, see, the only real alchemist around here was one of the homesteads that burned down, unfortunately. I know. But there's a crossroads not too far from here, a big trading post in the middle of the Marrow Valley, which you've been to before. That's probably your best bet. Do you know that the alchemy shop,

what was the name of it? Oh, that was the Bernardo Apothecary. The Bernardo Apothecary. Do you know if this Bernardo is around still? Last I heard, Bernardo went missing. Probably asked the Crownsguard. I don't think they've updated anything, but. Okay.

Most of the folks there either got killed in the fire. So my best to ask them. The Crown's Guard is probably our best bet if some of the people we're looking for happen to be still missing in the aftermath, then. I can imagine. All right. Great. Appreciate you.

No worries. We have two meals here, one shortly after dusk and bright and early in the morning, right after sunup. You got about an hour window. If you miss it, well, there's plenty of, should be plenty of food amongst the city to find, so good luck. Did we miss the meal already today, then?

No, you still got a few hours before sundown, so just come on by and go ahead and get me and my wife cooking. Actually, this is going to sound weird, but is there a florist around, or anybody who deals with exotics, exotic herbs, plants, or otherwise. Nerves and spices, yeah. There's Felderwin General, has a manner of various

flavorings, if that's what you're looking for. Something exciting. Yeah, Felderwin's not known for its excitement, necessarily, but keep your eye out. Who knows what you'll find with the right questions? I don't know. I'll do it. I've seen some wild folk come in these doors in my days, I'll tell you that much.

You know, not all as colorful as you, though, so can't say my experiences are a good basis of comparison, if I catch my drift. Mm-hmm. Looking forward to a little quiet. You and me both. Now that I'm soldiers are out of here, at least, I'm going to miss the coinage, but I ain't going to miss the riffraff.

Thank you. Yeah, no worries. I'll see you around dinnertime, then. All right. Deucey, a florist? I need something... It's nice to have something complicated to use to focus myself.

Complicated? Is that what you said? Not quite, but yeah. I have something. Oh, really? I was joking. Not quite, but yeah. Oh, really? I was joking. Tea like tea? Poppy seeds? Anything, preferably some sort of flower or living plant.

Cannanil? But if it's a... Black-eyed Susans. Stop. The notion is I'm looking for something that is a testament to the abilities of the Wild Mother. So anything that is a gift from her to us. Something impressive, something beautiful, something tasty.

Honey! I've never tried honey. I don't know if it would work, but that's interesting. I mean, it's essence of flower and bee puke. You know, usually, it's a miracle. I tend to stick a little closer to the source. I also don't really necessarily know

how I would perform the ritual with honey. I have a decent amount of molasses, if you like. I honestly don't know the difference between molasses and honey. Well, one is the bee poop, but molasses comes out of a tree. Yeah. Tree poop and bee poop. Well, it's more of a va- it's fine.

Let her ride. Have some tobacco. That might be interesting, but I think I should probably see if there's anything around, possibly. I have this red feather from Nila. She was also a fir bog. I'm not sure how that relates,

but that is a very beautiful feather. Well. Yeah, it's fair. If you'd like to go ahead and make an investigation check to just wander about the town to see if you can manage to muster some leaves. I can give him some advice on places to look. Actually, you would, yeah,

go take some advantage on that. Okay, do you want to roll? Okay, no, I'll roll it, because my investigation is amazing. Here we go. Come on. Ah, that's a natural 20. Hey! That brings me to a natural, to a non,

that's a 19 then. Oh shit. Felderwin would be one of the few places in the Empire where the Wildmother would be very popular if she weren't outlawed. You get the sense that there might even be an unspoken worship to her amongst this very rural farming community. I need a very, I'm hoping to find an orchid or something,

something interesting. So you manage to go to both Felderwin General and with Nott's help, sneak into one of the elaborate specialty herb growing boxes, specifically for the purpose of various medicinal herbs. We'll say over the period of the next 30 minutes or so, you gather what would be about 25 gold worth of-

This is if you knew what I was doing. Thank you. Thank you, and here goes 25 gold. All right, that's all I needed to do, really. That was my pregame. Okay. Anyone else going to do anything? Well. This is not nighttime yet.

We're just not nighttime yet. No, but you're getting closer. We're keeping an eye out for any cloaked, robed, elven people. Yeah, we're just trying to avoid them. We do not know of any like a general physician. Like a doctor, someone.

I mean, we have one with us. Two with us. Local doctor. Local doctor. That might know locals. Oh. Someone who might have repaired one of the soldiers or something like that?

Or I'm curious if it's said in those papers about them being sick from the town complaining about sluggishness. You do know there is a female human physician in the town. There's a number of physicians and people, but there's one named Demi Larrick, who is the altruistic member of the community. Doesn't charge, but accepts donations

and is often the first to try and help out those of the more meager lifestyle in this farming community. Okay. Demi Larrick, you say? Dr. Demi Larrick Medicine Woman. More or less, sure. I also want to find a Crownsguard. All right, easy enough to find,

as you're going to, because they're fairly present and conversing, you see one set of three that are walking past the one who seems to be most energetic in conversation and is in the process of regaling the others, too, with some sort of inane tale. Scrawny, a human-looking fellow, looking like he's mid-30s or so, chin scruffed but can't quite grow a

full beard, like me, apparently. You have a lovely full beard. I'm still getting used to it. I'll split. Come forth. I'll split off from the group so that I'm not drawing attention. Okay. Excuse me.

Hey, yeah, can I help you? so that I'm not drawing it. Okay. Baritola. Excuse me? Baritola. Hey, yeah, can I help you? Yeah, I'm staying at the local inn right now. So I have a friend who, he's, he's losing a little bit of his hair, and he was hoping, I was hoping for a present. I could get him maybe a potion that would grow it. Do you know where I could find somebody

that could grow hair, like a potion maker or something? Can't say I'm too familiar with hair atomics, per se. I don't know what kind of potions can be made. I mean, do you know? If you're looking for anything too fancy, I'd probably recommend heading off to Zadash. Okay, okay. What about alchemy?

Is there a local alchemist or something? Not anymore, unfortunately. No? That was one of the buildings we lost to the Kreeks a few weeks back. Oh no. The building is gone. What about the person that ran the shop? Hell if I know. The Krik just ran in here and started killing people left and right. Left in the

same hour they arrived. It was like a swift nightmare just tearing through here. That's insane. I've never seen a Krik. What do they look like? Let me tell you, you ever have one of them terrible dreams where something comes out of the darkness and tries to grab at you and cut at you? It's just burning eyes of evil and dark armor of shadow and nothing.

Well, imagine a bunch of them popping out of the ground and cutting down your friends. How'd they pop out of the ground? Hell if I know. A bunch of ground-dwelling, weird, dark elf folk. Did you have to fight them? Well, I mean, I fought a number of them myself, you know, trying to protect my buddies here, but not everyone was so lucky.

You must be so brave. Well, just. I mean, you look really brave so lucky. You must be so brave. Well, just. I mean, you look really brave. I bet you fucking really. Just doing my job, man. Wow. Well, all right. I guess I'll have to go to another town for a potion.

Can you point me in the direction of this shop? What, where we're, The one that was here? Yeah. It's right over, you go head down two blocks and to the right, follow that on for about seven, eight or so buildings on the left. It's kind of hard to miss. I think it's this second one on the left that's burned down.

Okay. Hey, maybe the owner ran away or something, right? Here's to hoping. Yeah. Fingers crossed. Indeed. Is there anything else you're looking to find out? No, I just want to see if they saw I'm leaving the town.

That's all. You'll probably have to find somebody who was a little more in the thick of it. Yeah. That soldier was totally hitting on you. Yeah. A lot of soldiers hit on me at Snubbigt Yeah. That soldier was totally hitting on you? Yeah. A lot of soldiers hit on me at Snubbigtown. He wasn't even here when the fighting happened.

You're lying. Go. He's so brave. Sorry, I'm getting carried away. Anyone else have anything? I want to find Demi Lyric. Okay. You go ahead and it takes you a little while,

not too long with Nott's help guiding you in that direction, but just finding the right building. The sign itself that just has Demi Lyric's name on it is itself smoke covered from, it's across the street from one of the buildings that was damaged by the fire. As you walk over towards the edge, the door is partially ajar.

Wait just a minute! Now sit down, it's going to hurt a bit longer. Come in. You open the door, come inside. It's a very simple establishment. Immediately the smell hits you of various, smells like medicinal herbs and very strong chemicals. You see what looks to be four or five cots that are set up, two of which have what appear to be recovering townsguard that are bandaged up and currently laying down. One of them appears to be asleep, the other one is sitting there with a fresh set of bandages put over what looks to be burns. You see Demi turn around. Human woman, maybe late 20s, early 30s or so.

Heavy set, bright smile, bright eyes, but his sleeves rolled to the elbows and just all business. She turns around and you can see the fingers are hit with what looks to be probably whatever material was used to apply the burn bandages to the one soldier. She rips her hands,

this viscous oil-like substance, and wipes them on a cloth. What can I help you? Hi, yes, I'm Beauregard of the Cobalt Soul. I've been sent here from Zadash. I'm... All right. If you have a few minutes,

I'd love to ask you a few questions. Certainly, just feel free to go ahead and ask. We're just taking statements from people trying to figure out some incongruencies that might have been happening over the past few months. Incongruency, all right. Have you noticed any increased amount of patients feeling sick, sluggish, anything off?

Well, they're pretty sluggish right now, but that's for obvious reasons. Not like the most recent two weeks burned in a fire type of off, like before then. We've had a few strange complaints, maybe about a month, two months ago. Okay. Just a wave of general

a nauseous, I assumed it was maybe some bad food. I got through a bit, it wasn't too serious. A wave of nausea. Anything else? What makes you think that they were related as opposed to general food poisoning? What was strange about them? It was a bunch of people complaining about the same thing

in a very short period of time, just assumed maybe it was related. Do they all happen to live in a similar area of town? Yeah, they're all in the cluster. Not like right in this region, which is why they all came to me. All in a cluster. Sorry, I was just taking notes,

just want to make sure everything's correct. No worries. Okay. Anything else? It seems like it might be, spark your memory of being a little bit odd. I mean, the town was attacked, and people were killed and burned, that's strange.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Did you know a man by the name of Yeza? Yeah, yeah, he was right down the street. Yeah. Did he come in around that time with a batch of people who were feeling nauseous? No, no. To be honest, I was busy trying to treat who I could.

That was not a good day. It was all one day. Well, it was one night, really, about midnight. Suddenly, buildings were up in flames, people were screaming, and I looked out there, and there were cricks running through the street. Do you mind if I talk to a few of your patients for a second?

Be my guest. If you think of anything, if you remember anything, I don't have a card, but... Okay, I'm staying. I'll be in town. I might be back. Great, well, if you think of any other questions, feel free to ask.

Thank you, miss. Next time on Columbo. Well, this is the point where she goes, and one more! One more question. One more question. Yeah, sure. Like that.

Take off my glasses. For our younger audience, Columbo is a television series. Okay, I'm going to go over to one of the guards. Okay, there's one that appears to be asleep, who looks to be a little more combat wounded, and the one that's semi-conscious is mostly burns. Is the one who's semi-conscious

conscious enough to speak? He seems to be, he's going. I go up and I slap one of his wounds. Oh! What is wrong with you? Oh, who are you? Sup? Name's Beau, with a cobalt soul.

Great! Yeah, what's your name? Jeff. Good luck! Oh, it's spelled weird. G-O-F-F. It's also spelled as a J in it. It's got two apostrophes between the Fs.

The umlauts are the second F. Look, man, not everyone in a fantasy setting is awesome names. Good to meet you, Jeff. You patrol a cluster normally? Yeah, when I'm not laid up like this. You look pretty badly burned, obviously. Yeah, no, that's why I was really appreciating

your entrance there. Yeah. Very thoughtful. Yeah. Here, I give him a little bit of my wine from my wine pouch. Oh, I accept your recompense. Sorry. I'll mix well with the darts.

Demi's like, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry, Demi, sorry. He's already had enough. Oh. Jeff, I was just curious if you happen to know this. He's trying to get people out of the flames. Managed to get his son out, it seems. Really? Yeah. The Krix got him and ran. The Krix got him? Yeah.

Did you see which direction they ran? Back to the fucking hole they headed northward. You sure it was the Krix? Yeah. There's like four of them. Okay. Did you see anything else? Yeah, I saw the fire that they pushed me into, and I tried to stop them. You were the one who got Luc out? Well, me and two others, but they didn, fare as poorly as I did.

All right, well, anything else you remember? Anything spark in your mind, trying to figure this shit out? Uh. I know that's vague, but. Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy. They came in quick. Fires were set before we knew what was happening.

Did you feel like they were looking for something in particular? Were they targeting places? I guess. I mean, the last place they lit was the apothecary. Okay. Well, look, you did a good thing, all right, man? You saved a kid.

Thanks. My friend's kid. I don't really care about the kid, but it was my friend's kid, so here. I pull out 20 gold, throw it on the table. His eyes go wide. You can split that up with your friends, or if you want to keep it, I don't really give a fuck.

You say you're from the Cobalt Soul? Yep. Bye! Perfect. Tracy! Hey, hey, Laura. Hey, Laura. That's a pretty good penis you drew over there. It's very lifelike. Oh my god, it's big.

Sam told me to! Did you hear what was revealed in that moment? He's coming from the depths. Yeah, he did. Looks like some stuff happened there, too. Wow, that's serious. This like some stuff happened there, too. Wow, that's, yeah. This is serious, guys. All right, anybody else doing anything

before you guys reconvene? That wrapped up everything I was going to do. Is there anything else you want to look for, or are you ready to gather? I'm going to keep this door open. I know, it feels like we're supposed to do something. I don't know, I'm just curious if you've completed your investigation.

Oh, is there a furniture maker in town? Because I really would like to ask some questions about that chair. My husband is missing! I'm done, I'm done, I'm really good. This is my attempt to rally everybody, it worked. I swear, don't look at me like that, Jisab. Oh god, there's just dicks over there.

I don't know what to do. There's no escape, Taliesin. There's no escape. Do-do-do. Just potential dicks now, that's better. Just potential dicks. The opportunity. Are there specific areas where the tunnels were

collapsed after they went back in them and covered them up? You can go look if you want to. Yeah, we should look. Yeah, I'd like to do that. That's actually a really good idea. Are we meeting back up? Yeah, we should meet up and then search. Okay.

I meet back up, I kick down the door and I go, apparently he was taken by Krix. And then I fill him in. He was? Can we call them Kryn, please? Kryn? Kryn? That's what they actually are. Apparently he was taken them Kryn, please? Kryn. Kryn. That's what they actually are. Apparently he was taken by Kryn.

He was taken by Kryn, not by... I just walked into some soldier boy named Jeff. Weird name, actually. I know, right? His parents must not have loved him. I think Jeff's a really nice name. All the Jeffs right now are fucking giving you the bird. Jeff's a great name, that's why I used to go. Jeff is a really nice name. Yeah. All the Jeffs right now are fucking giving you the bird. Jeff's a great name, that's why I used it. Jeff is a great name. Keep going.

Keep digging, keep digging. What did you fucking do? Tell me what Jeff fucking said! He said, Fjord Cryn came in, scooped up your husband and ran up. Wait, he saw that happen? Yeah, he was there. He ran in, he saved your son.

I gave him 20 gold. Well shit, this changes everything. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait. This is why we don't run in at full speed. What is the possibility that your mean people can change memories? Pretty good. Still. Pretty good. Still, we should at least investigate this lead now, and tomorrow, if we don't know what's

going on, I can, and I warn you, I will do this, but I'm going to get a little exhausted doing it. I can at least give us some sense of what's ahead. Should I try to send him a message and see if he responds? Oh. Could hurt. It could hurt. Could hurt. It could definitely hurt. If she sends a message and he's with

the Rexxentrum folks, they might be able to sense that. Are you talking about what Nott and I do, or what you do? What I do. I don't, I know you, that's between you and your god, Jester. Can't they respond to your messages?

Well, yeah, but I mean, I can say, don't respond if you're by anybody that, you know. Or if you're alive, just say, Al. Oh, that's good. What if I do that? Why don't we try Mr. Clay's idea first? Just see if he's alive, and then we'll try to send a message. Let's take a look at these tunnels.

I'm actually very curious about this. We'll go find the nearby Crownsguard and see if they can point us in the direction of where some of those collapsed tunnels were. Okay. So you're heading to the tunnels first? Mm-hmm. Okay. And is it dark yet?

By this point, you guys gathering, yeah, dusk has happened. Yeah. Yeah. So you can eat first or miss your meal. Yeah, we don't have an hour. We'll get our free food. We'll get a little food and then we'll check it out by night. Okay.

So the meal is actually quite fresh. Being a farm town, it's nothing fancy, but everything is hearty and quite delectable. Heading your way outside of Felderwin to the northeast side, where it begins to border onto the tillage itself, you can see there is a group of about eight crownsguard

that are circled around what looks to be three what would have been the exit burrows. From this distance, you can see they're mostly like a sinkhole, like it's caved in a bit. From this distance, you can't see any further in than just a few inches to indicate that that seems to be where it was,

and the guards are keeping a perimeter just in case anything were to return. I'll walk up. Excuse me. As you approach, it's like, All right, can I help you? Yeah, sorry, we're just passing by. We heard this was the scene of all the unfortunateness.

Yeah, that's what I hear, too. Has it been cased, this area? I mean, just searched for, I don't know, anything left over by the invading hordes? As far as I know. I'm just stationed here, but I mean, they've been looking this thing up and down for about two, almost three weeks now.

Who's they? The guard, the righteous Bran. Yeah. Some of them fancy folk from Rexxentrum. Fancy? Yeah, I mean, they're all fucking fancy from up there, but some of them elvish people. Oh, I think I saw them.

What were they doing? I don't fucking know, they don't talk to me. Fair enough. You know if they found anything, took anything out of the dirt? No. They tell you that these might open up again or that it might be in imminent peril?

I mean, I see there's like eight of you guys. I certainly hope not, from what I can tell. I mean, it wasn't just the Kreeks. No, any of the guys. When the soldier goes like, I was here, I saw it. You were here? Yeah, no, it was,

I mean, they didn't dig them. Something dug it for them. Is that right? It's a big, big old mouth made of teeth, just carved out of the ground, and they withdrew, and then they pulled out. My god, that sounds terrible. Yeah, yeah. I hate this job.

What happened when you saw the big mouth with teeth? What'd you do? Fucking ran! What do you think I'm going to do? Damn right. Fast you could, I bet. Yeah. The other guys look at him like, fuck. It's like, what? You would've done the same. Was it like a worm or something?

Something like that, yeah. Did it come out of the ground, or did it go back in after it, you know? It broke through, just came out just a few feet, and then it pulled back in. We were like, what the fuck is that? And then the cricks just came running out. Do you think the crane came out of the worm thing?

I mean, it's possible. How big was this creature? I don't know, it was big. From what I saw, it was maybe like, I don't know, it was big. I saw it was maybe like, I don't know, 10 feet wide? Wow. That's significant. Were you also here or far away when they made their hasty retreat?

I was over there. And he points off maybe a hundred or so feet away. Keeping an eye out? Yeah. Could you see anything that was driving them off, or were they just taking their sweet time as they left? At this point, the other first guard you're talking to goes like,

Hey, much of business here, anyway? We've come across these cricks before. We saw them in Zadash. There was a big ruckus in the middle of the city. Trying to learn all we can. I just don't know when we'll come across them next. I feel like share and share alike, you know? Make a deception check.

16. 16. Can't announce this, I guess. All right, so I guess, yeah, have a look around. It's already been given the once-over many times, so take a moment if you need it. Has anyone gone down and followed the tunnels? He points over to the third one and he goes, they've been digging that one for about two weeks,

but eventually gave up. Why'd they stop? Well, they collapsed behind them, and there's only so much you can go. If they dug all the way from Jorah, do you have any idea how long those tunnels would go for? Pretty long. Don't really have that kind of manpower here in Felderwin.

And the soldiers are left, so I'm not going to keep digging. I appreciate it. We won't take up much of your time. We just thought we'd have a gander around, if that's all right. Yeah, go for it. How many you got? Seven. And you got? Seven. You're all investigating. Some of us are just hanging out. It wasn't our intention, but things being what they are,

this seems to be the new reality of the world, doesn't it? It's no funny business. I'll be keeping an eye on you. Fair enough. Yes, sir. Well, being that fancy folk were here, I don't suppose there's any point in doing our particular brand of searching.

Hey, I have a question. When you blink out, I haven't done it very much, but I feel like it's the ethereal plane, right, that we go to? The what? The ethereal plane? What is that? It's another plane.

The Traveler told me about it. I don't talk to the Traveler. Oh, well, I feel like we go to this other plane, right? And you can walk through things on that plane, because it's not quite the same. So what if we blinked, and then we could go through where they collapsed the tunnel? And then we could be in the tunnel, and just see, you know?

And then come back. That's a good idea, except for what if the whole tunnel's collapsed, and we just blink into the earth? Well, I don't think you can do that, right? I mean, I imagine anything is possible in this world of magic and mystery, but I bet it would hurt a lot. You can't blink if the spot is taken up, right?

I would say if you were attempting to blink into a solid space, it would shunt you out of the space and you would take a little bit of force damage. That's general rules for shifting out of ethereal space into matter. I'm not trying to see Dimension Door. That one scares me a bit. I don't know about you, but when I blink,

I can only appear about 10 feet from where I previously was. Yeah, that's what I mean. I mean, we blink right here, and then we walk where the tunnel was, and we go into the tunnel. I can walk through stone. Or we could just do that. Yeah, that's better.

But I mean, I want to know where I was going, and I can only go alone. Yeah, I'm no expert on worms, but I would imagine that it is more collapsed earth than open space. I would imagine so as well. They chew their way through the earth and they poop out the remains.

Just honey, all the way back. Or molasses. Or molasses. No, that's never mind. Getting it mixed up, sorry. So our choices are... Well, we should have this conversation in here, because I want to take a look around in this thing. In the tunnel?

Yeah, they offered us, they told us. It's like sunken earth, right? As you approach and see, there are three tunnels, and they're scattered maybe 300 feet apart from each other, approximately between 200 and 300 feet. The first one you're at here sinks in about 10, 15 feet, and it looks like crumbled stone and earth with patches of fresh dirt.

You can see the roots that were appended as it tore through, just folding over onto the pile. This looks like it's been left as it was. You go over to inspect the other one, and the same guard and a few others walk with you to keep a close eye. The one in the middle, this is the one that's been dug out. It's just pitch black below.

Light. You can see, okay. You cast, and the soldiers take a step back as soon as they see you make a gesture, and brightness seems to appear. Swollen stone. Yeah. So the tunnel goes straight down, not close to straight down,

it comes at a fairly steep incline. There is a rope affixed to a heavy wooden pipe that's banging into the ground. Do you head down inside? I mean, yeah. Unless anybody's got an objection. Nope. All right. Oh, you're doing your walk thing. No, I'm just walking.

We're just going into the tunnel. Your walk, technically, can only go something that's five feet in width. You can't just glide through stone. Oh, is that true? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Well, I don't have it as an option right now, anyway. There you go. But you head down inside and

you can see off to the side of it, there is a small pile of dirt and rock. It looks like a lot of it has been moved off of the premise for the time being. But as you head down and continue to walk, it evens out. It probably descends to a depth of about 50 or 60 feet below and continues at a steady decline on for about another, As you continue to walk, you get to a full, close to

200 feet in before it comes to an ending point. You can see there's a few carts at the base carrying dirt and rock up. You can see shovels and pickaxes and all sorts of materials that have been left behind by the team that gave up trying to excavate this tunnel. There's no marking. This is all just naturally, this is just an obviously organically carved tunnel. Looks to be, yeah. And the footprints going in and out, there's nothing. Make a survival check. Looks to be, yeah. The footprints going in and out, there's nothing.

Make a survival check. I have. I've never done one of those. Whoa! 19. Okay. There are all sorts of footprints in here. There have been soldiers and Crown's Guard and also people just in and out of this tunnel.

You can see the cart tracks and everything, but you can definitely tell that the edges of the top of the tunnel have a smoother natural carving to them. Whatever creature, this is definitely burrowed. With that roll, I'd say you do make a few footsteps that resemble more armored boots that are more unique against the profile of the general, crownsguard, and or righteous brand soldiers. In both directions? In both directions.

All right. Interesting, very interesting. They were definitely in here, and they definitely left this way. Any reason to use your radar and see if anything was missed? I mean, my radar, what do you mean? Anything magical, anything arcane, anything.

Detect magic. Okay. Nothing in the vicinity catches your attention, unfortunately. None, really. Just for fun, because we can't. Eyes of the Grave, too, just for fun. Nothing catches your attention there, I figure. Nothing. So we could continue following this tunnel for several hundred miles and see where it goes.

Or we could take my son to Alfield, or we could head to Rexxentrum and start tracking down Caleb's old teachers. They're still here. They are? I thought they bamfed out. We don't know? Why don't they bamf out? We don't know, we don't really know. Well, they bamfed in.

And they don't leave. Yeah, but they could do that in a basement. Yeah, but we could kill them, too. I'm all for it. What do we do? I feel like we shouldn't try and assassinate the head of the Cerberus Assembly. Not right now, maybe.

This is so overwhelming. Just as a warm-up. I mean, just as a warm-up. All right. Do we know anyone who can help us? Well, yeah. We just made an alliance, sort of, with Yussa. Yussa.

Yussa's pretty powerful. We can't get back there for weeks. You could message. I could send them a message. We could also go back to Zadash. Well. We know folks there. Yeah, we do. In the morning, and I can't guarantee this,

but we'll at least know if he's alive and maybe a sense of whether or not he's above ground or below ground, and that'll certainly inform our decision. Yeah. Maybe. I'll glean what I can, but it's a soft process. Okay. Do we want to abandon this tunnel?

I can jump forward 90 feet in a direction. If you bend forward and there is stuff blocking the way, will you get really hurt? I don't know. I think I'll get shunted out. Are you talking about the thundery one that's real loud? That's a little different. Yeah, that one.

Right? It won't collapse the tunnel on our heads when you do it, right? Or we could just walk 90 feet. No, you walk 90 feet. The tunnel is blocked. Oh, okay. Yeah, about 200 feet in, the tunnel is blocked.

Oh, okay. And we have no idea how deep the blockage goes. I've got a weird idea. Just so you're aware, Thunderstep, as most teleportation effects, you have to teleport to a location you can see. In my mind's eye. I mean, if you want to get real crazy, roll the dice. Just roll the dice.

I'm going to try something really quickly just for fun. Just imagine instead of a dragon. I'm going to use Thaumaturgy really quickly, and I'm going to broadcast, I'm going to start a low bass chant, and I'm going to throw it as far forward down that tunnel as I possibly can to see if I can not get some sort of vibration coming back that they can hear. I'm just going to start throwing this. If there's air to vibrate, or I'm making sound in solid rock as a boosting of your... It may not work. I see what you're doing.

Trying to use some sort of nature theory here. That's interesting. It's a cantrip, so there's definite limitations on its ability. It's the most powerful. Go ahead. I use that with Georgie, and I'm like, oh, that's really cool. Did you see it? And there's a cantrip, so there's definite limitations on its ability. Of course. It's the most powerful. Go ahead! I use that with Georgie, and I'm like, oh, that's really cool, did you see it? And there's a bunch of whispers of people going, that's so cool!

That's really, yeah. You can get really loud. Can I get, that's the question, is can I get loud enough to hear myself through the like-eye if I was trapped in there, or? What a good idea! Yeah. I'll say two things. One, just roll a straight wisdom check for me.

Straight wisdom check. 13. 13, okay. You close your eyes and focus, and feeling your feet connecting with the earth below you, and letting the Wild Mother's power suffuse your torso, and your abdomen, and and your legs and your feet and into the earth below as you begin to release that low vibration.

The hum carries through your body and into the rock below, and the vibration carries into the ground. Due to the nature of this cavern you're in, it echoes pretty loudly in this space. So you can all gently feel it, and the guards in the back start looking around a little bit nervous, not quite sure what's happening. One of them runs off afraid. He's like,

I'm going to collapse! I'm picturing a didgeridoo. All right, you run it for a while. You've cast the vibration into the rock. Then are you going to try and listen for it? Honestly, I'm just going to try and cut it off and see if there's an echo coming through the rocks, basically, just in that split second. Okay, make a perception check. Into it.

18. 18. You immediately rush up to the edge of where the stone is, the most solid piece of it that's on that side, and listen. You feel like you can very vaguely hear what might be a gap a ways in at some point. You're not sure how far away it might be, and you're not sure how far away it might be, and you're not sure how big the gap may be. It could be just a small pocket,

it could be a continuation of the tunnel, but there does appear to be some minor element of vibration that carried through with some differentiation. How deep are we underground right now? At the bottom of this tunnel, I'd say you're about 80 or so feet deep. Okay, cool. I'm just going to do that. I'm not going to inform anybody of anything

that just happened and be like, okay, I'm good. Back to the inn. Back to the inn. All right. Thank you for that. As you guys gather your thoughts and march back to the inn in the evening air over Felderwin, we're going to take a break. We're sure you can. We're going to be right back here in a few minutes.

We're in the interim. We have our fantastic friends at Wyrmwood's Wyrmwood giveaway. Run. Run like the wind. Running. She has to go do the other D&D streaming show that she's on. Exactly. This is Bolivian Rosewood. Nice leather interior.

There's a really nice dice box going to one of our friends out there. So for you guys who want to enter this drawing at the break, head on over to the Critical Role Twitch chat, that's twitch.tv slash Critical Role, and enter the key phrase Tension, T-N-S-I-O-N. T slash Critical Role. And enter the key phrase, Tension. T-E-N-S-I-O-N. Tension.

How did you know? It's like last week ended with a lot of tension. But enter it once. More than once, you'll be disqualified. And unfortunately, due to giveaway rules, only people in the U.S. and Canada, excluding Quebec, can enter. We'll have a winner when we return.

So see you guys here in a few minutes. Damn. Why, hello there. This is Critical Role's resident art dad, also known as Liam O'Brien. We are continuously amazed at the artwork this community creates. That's why each Thursday at 8 a.m. Pacific, we share a curated gallery of submitted fan art over on CritRole.com. If you'd like to submit your art for consideration, visit critroll.com slash

submit. And thank you to all of the incredible artists who share their talents with us week after week. Welcome back. So, before we jump back in, we have a winner of our Wyrmwood giveaway. The winner tonight is

Palengratz. Palengratz! Palengratz! We have a winner of our wormwood giveaway. The winner tonight is Palingratz. Palingratz! Palingratz! Congratulations, we'll get that sent to you ASAP. And we'll have the next giveaway next week. Make a correction. So. This is my current effort as well as my notebook.

As you all return back to the tavern where you're staying, the Goldenfield Tavern and Lodge, you gather your thoughts and yourselves in your respective chambers. What would you like to do? Shit, we should have talked about this during the fucking break. Nope, that would have been out of form.

That's productive. No, we don't do that. What do we do? We plan everything. Yes, of course. Okay. I tried to get a sense if there was something beyond that.

And I don't know, I got a hint of something. You did? I think maybe there's something past that wall. Oh, in the tunnel? In the tunnel. You're talking about my husband, who I want to know if he's alive or not. I can't know that till dawn.

But if we do decide to go that direction, I think that there is definitely a chance that we could dig far enough and deep enough to make passage. Okay. Guys, hot take. The Kryn aren't the bad guys. What? It's funny.

That is a hot take. It's funny that you said that, because, and it may have been because I was not drunk at the time, I was thinking, when you were talking, Caleb, or Bren, about Rexxentrum, and how it's heavily protected and guarded, and how it's impossible to get in and make an assault on it. I just immediately thought, well, what if we went in

with the Kryn and attacked with them, or? To do. Are you talking about aligning ourselves with the people that ganked your husband? I don't know that they've ganked him. I mean, we can. First of all, you know, he might be dead. We'll know tomorrow.

He might be ganked, but he might not be ganked by who we think ganked him. I mean, aside from the mind-altering magic that we've already mentioned, all of us can change our appearance. Maybe what you're talking about, about them coming in using the Krik, maybe that's what they did.

Maybe they did your exact suggestion first and they disguised themselves to look like the Kryn and come in. I don't know. I don't know. So we are known! So we are known! So I did not say that it is heavily fortified, although I'm sure it is. It's the largest city in the Empire.

But when I lived there, and that was only briefly when I was at school, I had, I could go anywhere in the city I wanted because I'm a citizen of the Empire. I assume it's a hard place to attack or infiltrate. The largest city in the Empire? Crack syndrome. Yeah.

That would be hard to attack. Unless you can dig underground with a bunch of pet worms. Does make one wonder why they haven't done that yet. Maybe they're baby steps. Yeah. Doesn't feel like too many places on the map are off limits. Plus, it'd be super nice if you could, you know, take the most powerful city in the Empire

and slow it the fuck down before you attacked it. That might work. I don't. This is all very confusing. So, speaking of, when I was talking to the doctor, Dimi, she said she had a few instances over the last month or so where people were coming in feeling nauseous, feeling not like themselves in a grouped amount of time,

all from the cluster. Do we want to poke this thing tonight, or do we not? Poke the tunnel? Not the tunnel, the tunnel... I mean... We'll get to the tunnel. We need to get her son out. And then we can decide.

What thing were you talking about poking? We have an object, we have another object, we have... Maybe we haven't really, I mean, I doubt that we really understand what we have, but... You want to head towards Xhorhas, is what you're saying. I mean, we have these things right now. Are you saying you want to look at them?

I kind of do. Because Yussa said we shouldn't pull it out, and especially right now, if people are looking for it, it could be really, really bad. I suppose. That's the thing. You're talking about poking that thing, the dodecahedron? Yep.

That's what he's talking about. No. What, for what? To do what? Because it's there to do. Normally, all about that. Yeah. Before the saying that is a bit, then you know.

I'll follow the group, but I'm... Dragon sucked. I'm here because where I was, I was out of options. And we've definitely found some options. I don't know what they mean yet, but I went looking for them and here we are. I agree. Caleb. I'm sorry.

Caduceus. Freudian slip. Carl, Kevin, keep going. Right. Jeff, it's a case sale. You said the life force was being sucked away from your grave, from your home. That's right.

Has been for a while. The force that surrounds it, the corrupted force, is overtaking it as if the magic that held it in place is being supplanted, and I'm of the opinion that that shouldn't be happening. And there are several other, we're not the only, we're not the only site like our own,

and we haven't had really much communication with the other sites, so I don't know if it's happening anywhere else, but. Do you want me to send them a message? I wouldn't even know who to send it to. Okay. But... We're supposed to protect that place,

and I was running out of ideas. You said we. My family. How many of them are there? Oh, lots, but I mean, depending on when and where, but yeah, members of my family and others have been protecting that place for as long as it has existed.

We built the temple, we founded it. And your family is still there now? No, they... They all left. You said also to look for answers, though, right? Yeah. They just left first? Yeah. And none of them have come back. You have any idea which direction they were heading?

Not really. I mean, you can speak to the Wild Mother. You've checked in on a few of our friends. Do you ever check in on them? See what the Wild Mother tells you. I feel like she would let me know if I needed to know, and that's not an answer I really want the... That's not an answer I'm looking for right now.

Okay. I'm sure you understand. I do. Best to have faith and not second guess how she's decided to move forward. But if I recall, Corrin talked about trying to find some of the other temples, but no one's come back. When you came around, it seemed like I had an inkling that it was supposed to be my job to do this from the beginning, and that I had been shirking my duties.

And you all seemed like a very good sign that it was time to take some responsibility. What was your name before this? Those who knew me called me Jeff. It's such a good name. It's a good name. Spelled it with a G.

Yeah. Yeah, no. I've got nothing to hide. Jeff with a G or Jeff with a J? G, what's wrong with you? Don't even. Can we go to sleep so I can find out if my husband's alive?

Now I've got anxiety, I may not sleep tonight. Now it's just real, it's a lot of pressure to put on a person. Hermal tea, some melatonin, something, right? Oh, this is caffeinated, I'm going to be up all night. Oh, good. Yeah, but. Jester.

You okay? Yeah. What's wrong? It's just a little overwhelming, you know? I mean, this is some serious shit. And, I mean, I kind of just, you know, came from Nicodranas and everything was kind of nice. And the Empire's really fucked up. And everybody went through such horrible things and...

I'm... I'm really sorry for everyone. That's all. Thank you. I'm really sorry for everyone. That's all. Thank you. But I promise you, if you stay with us, you will also go through some horrible, horrible things. Don't worry, Nott. I already have.

Good. But I'm sure there is worse to come. We'll get through it, though. I mean, nice is boring after a while. Yeah. We can get to nice, right? I would like nice again at some point. I just want home back. I want to know that it's safe again.

I mean, I'm sure there's some beachfront property open in Nicodranas, maybe if we work really hard and pull our funds, we can retire. Yeah. You're always welcome where I live. I mean, I'm nine, so I don't know about retiring yet. But, oh, that's a good question. Do you want to be a halfling again?

I want to be me again, yes. Yes, and I hope that someday it can happen. We should talk to Yussa. Maybe he can help you. and I hope that someday it can happen. We should talk to Yussa. Maybe he can help you. That's true, he's a very powerful wizard. That would be nice. You didn't get turned into all the things that you're afraid you are.

That's not how this shit works. Well, I guess it remains to be seen. They're still pretty cool. I mean, the coolest goblin I've ever known. Yeah, I suppose. That one in Nicodranas was pretty cool, though. He had slicked back hair. Yeah, he was wearing pretty fancy clothes and stuff. Do you want us to still call you Nott?

Or Veth? Or Vott? Well, that's weird. I'll stick with Nott for now. And when I'm back again, I'll change it. Nott and Caleb it is. Until you're ready for something else. Absolutely.

Mighty Nein. Made of seven people. Yeah. Works great. Nothing makes sense. Nope. Not the name, not the group, none of it. I'm going to bed. That was as Caleb. In camera.

He's saying. Weirdest use of presentation I've ever seen. Little floating trombones. Mysterious, very melodious, like, Sam's eyes. Little floating trombones. Sam's eyes. Mysterious merry melodies. All right, you guys get an evening's rest in your respective rooms. The morning greets you with the smell of food being prepared as you head downstairs as all of you

and what looks to and two other patrons that are a couple of other farmhands. What do they look like? They look like farmhands. What is their real name? What are they sitting on? Their names are Chair. How many names do we have? Together, they are Chair.

Chiridot. Chiridot. You're a chair. You've a chair. You're a chair. You've been lying, you don't even have a leg to stand on. Oh. Taliesin's a liar. He leads the day. That's, that's... When everyone's serious, Taliesin is the comic relief.

I'm here to bring the awkward. Good, I love it. All right, so you have your meal, the day is yours. What do you wish to do? I'm going to find an appropriate spot, somewhere quiet, somewhere with a view, somewhere where the Wild Mother's work is well at hand. Okay, that would be probably either on the tillage itself,

or some of the small grove clusters along the river that you guys were talking earlier. So I assume you're casting Divination? Mm-hmm. So just a reminder, it is a specific question concerning a goal, event, or activity to occur within seven days. Ask about the chair. You entirely throw me.

Was the chair made by Jeff? Whatever you're trying to ascertain, it needs to be involving a specific goal, an event, or activity within the next seven days. I was going to just basically go for the same thing I did last time, if that still suits. It's how I wanted, unless you would like me to shift a little bit for your own... I let it go a little bit last time, only because it was a question of what were they doing

right now. I was like, well, that's an activity that they were doing, I guess. So just choose your words carefully, is all I'm saying. A goal? An event or an activity. I mean, that's a broad spectrum, so just be specific. Yesov. I want to make sure I'm getting the name right, right? Yeza? Yeza. Yeza Brenato.

Yeza. Brenato. Yeza. I sit, make my circle. What is Yeza's destination? Pushing a few days forward. You close your eyes and concentrate. It's a beautiful morning, actually. The sky, it's a chilly morning,

but this far enough south in the Empire hasn't hit snow yet. The full winter hasn't come into effect, so it's still green fields and mostly blue sky with bits of clouds. As you concentrate, the chilled wind picks up a little bit. Across the wind,

begins to form words through your ears. Hordranus. What? What? What? Hordranas. Gordranas. What? What? Gordranas. What? Gordranas.

Fuck. Gordranas, Gordranas. That's all I have. We've heard that before. Yeah, it's in here. Yes, before. Yeah, it's in here. Yes, yes, yes, it's in there. Yeah. So the Kriksuken.

Does that mean he's alive? Probably. What eons of the rituals have they been looking beneath their painful citadel? They have a citadel! Seems silly to move someone who isn't. Anyone here is proficient in history, go ahead and make a history check if you don't mind.

Do you mind, yeah. How's Yasha? Because she's been to fucking Xhorhas before. You know that, yeah, I know. What's Yasha up to? Yasha's with you guys. Does she know anything about this place? I also have notes and I read a book

at the Kobol Tso about Zhoras. Yeah, but what did you roll? Oh, 17. 17, okay. 19. I'm seeing how much detail you get. 19, good, good. Yasha first hypes in and goes,

Well, I've heard the name. It's far further north than where I lived and we avoided it because it, you know, a lot of the beast folk live that way. Beast folk, what do you mean? Meaning the others who wander the wastes. There are men who are like bull warriors as well, and bugbears,

and other goblinoids. Some are wild and angry and hungry. You have to protect or raid them first. Others, they work with the, uh, the Kryn. That's farther north. But I've not been there. Have you ever heard of something called

the Luxon? I have not. What is that? Deluxen? The Luxen. What is that? It's a casino. No, it is not.

I'm not sure. I read about them, or it. I don't know what it is. Something that is having some sort of negative effect on the people of Gordranas. Would I know anything about that? No, you would not. But with the history checks you guys did pull on Gordranas.

Gordranas is important to the history of the Age of Arcanum. When the gods walked the earth, both prime deities and the Betrayer Gods, there were various areas that were considered their realm of influence on the mortal plane, outside of their home realms and the different inner and outer planes.

And a number of these citadels of the Betrayer Gods were concentrated around Xhorhas and the surrounding landscape. That's where the most intense battles took place of the Calamity, was on Wildemount. Gordranas was the name of the center of their tenuous union. Essentially, in the final years of the Calamity,

it was where all of the Betrayer gods would go to plot the undoing of the rest of the Free People and their creators in Exandria. It's also, what remains of Gordranas is where the Kryn have established their empire, their dynasty. It's essentially the capital city of the Kryn Dynasty. And what was it that those letters were saying?

Was it under Gordranas? Were they looking for things? No, they were just saying that they couldn't believe that Gordranas was holding secrets, that they had a whole other school of magic that we haven't discovered here. This, everything we've been talking about, it says in there that they can troll fate and time.

Yasha Pipe-7 says, All that I know, people in my clan saying that that area up north is perpetual night. Yeah, I've read this. All around Godranas. From what I hear, yes. Wow.

An empress runs it named Leiliskryn. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I remember hearing about her. We may get lucky if we go into that tunnel. They may still just be preparing at some point to head in that direction. They're not there yet.

So we could go after them. Maybe we would. We're talking about hundreds of miles. They haven't made it that far yet, though. It's where they will be, not where they are. As a note, just to remind you, if you're thinking of distances and times, sorry. The attack transpired weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah.

So you're not right on their tail. No. Just consider that and what you're planning. They fucking know. Yeah. Yeah. So you're not right on their tail. No. Just consider that and what you're planning. They fucking help. Yeah. Mind you. Your options are your options and The north is looking interesting.

There are many possibilities here. Many. We are focusing on nothing. It's a hub episode. Your fellow. Well, yes, if that's all right with you, but I don't want to drag you all to the center of Xhorhas, where the beasts live, and the capital city where the empress is. It seems like if we go to Rexxentrum, we're in deep trouble, and if we go to Xhorhas, we're in even worse trouble.

I think trouble's going to close up on us no matter what. There are beasts in the north, but Yeza is not, so. I mean, what else are we going to do? I oddly feel more comfortable going to Gordronas than I do going to Rexxentrum. I feel like it might be a sign. How do we get there? I mean, are we really going to go through tunnels

for several weeks until we get there? I mean, are we really going to go through tunnels for several weeks until we get there? We've got a cart. I'm not even kidding a bit. Maybe, maybe not. We just take our cart and we head straight toward the worst of the war. Yeah, that makes more sense. And then when we get there, what do we say?

Hey, everybody, we're here in town to sell our wares. We don't even know if the tunnels are accessible to us. Why don't we just see if they are first? I'll also say, it's not the worst of the war right now, is it, is Gordranas? Or that's past it. You don't quite know where Gordranas is. You know it's east.

Right now, the war is right here. All right. These are the garrisons that, put that in the center there. By the Broken Veil Bluffs, this is where the two, the Ashguard and the Rockguard garrisons are. One of the garrisons has been lost to the Kryn,

and they're currently holding it at the border. Bladegarden right there is the foremost front of the military now, and the conflict right now is being held from what you've heard so far, and your information is, you know, dicey at best, because you've been gone for a while. Last you know, this was where the focus of the conflict is. There you go.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. It's the war room. If we go over land, we'll be going right through the front of the war. Yeah. If we go under land, we'll be underground for weeks. Also in tunnels built by four wards. Yes, the thing is, there's no fighting the war.

I agree with what one of you said. It was probably Fjord. Very wise. It's true. And agreeable. That once we get there, we're fucking nobodies. What are we going to do? Yeah, we can't fight an entire army. We don't have to, and we don't. It's the thing.

Yeah, we took that wrong turn at Albuquerque, right? And we'll get back and skedaddle out of there if we have to. Do you want me to send him a message? What if I'm like, hey, dude, do you think that you're going to be able to escape or something? Yeah, weren't we more concerned about that when we thought he was in Rexxentrum?

Oh boy. If you did send him a message, I would urge you to do something hopeful. Like what? What do you want me to say? Just stay alive and we'll try to find you. Describe him to me. Well, he is short, even for halflings.

And he has a bushy brown hair. Okay. Long sideburns. I always tell him to cut them, but he always keeps them long. He likes them long. Nott, can you make yourself look like him? Oh, that'll work.

Oh. Sure, yes, I can. I will disguise self. You get a very clear image of the last memory that Nott has of Yeza. Big nose. Not a great chin. Bushy. Big nose. Not a great chin.

Bushy, dark hair. Long sideburns. Narrow shoulders. Not a looker. I can see what you saw in him. He seems like an interesting fellow. He was wonderful. Is. Is?

Is. Is. Okay. How long have you two been married? Ah. Do you count the time that I was dead and a goblin? Yes. Yeah. Because I lost my ring.

Well. It's really not about that, though, is it? Exactly. That's very simple. Person's more important. Five years, then. You're married young. Happy anniversary. Right?

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Why did you say that? That's what people say, right? Usually on the anniversary of when they were married. Not just like, you're married, happy anniversary. Congratulations.

That's better, that's better. So we have to come up with a plan for what we are doing. For sure we do. Rexxentrum is its own set of problems and dangers. Your husband is heading towards Xhorhas and a war. I am not feeling very optimistic about the tunnels, but I have been wrong about many things, so why don't we check out the tunnels?

Let's do something positive. Let's get your son out. We'll take a look. I'm also, I will admit, not feeling very positive about the tunnels, but we should take a look. Because the other option is the cart. Let's go, son. Let's go.

To Luke first, to the son? Mm-hmm. Sending him on a wagon or something? You gave, I believe you gave him quite a bit of money. Sure, sure, sure. More than enough. We still have to tell him where to go and when to go. All right, we'll go there. Could we hire someone to go with them as muscle?

Yes, absolutely. There's probably people coming and going on most of these roads who are used to moving people across. Was there a Jeff fellow? He's a fighter. He was a little worse for wear, but he said he had a few friends that fared out okay. They're still around. I could ask him for a recommendation. Okay.

Well, let's go talk to Edith first, I guess. Ask her if she wants to leave. While we're going, I'm going to try to send a message to you. Yes, sir. Okay. Okay. What message do you send? I'm a friend of Veth. Ooh.

We know you've been taken. But stay hopeful. We are looking for you. If you can, tell us where you are currently. There is no response, and then a very faint one. Hello? I don't know. It's very dark. I have to be quiet.

But thank you. That's it. Nott. He's alive. He said it's dark and he has to stay quiet, but thank you. Good. It means I didn't lie to my son. We'll find him. I believe it. Yes. Yes.

All right. Let's go to Edith. Take care of your family. Yes, yes. Do you change your form, or do you show up as Yeza? I mean, we talked about someone else going over there. Yeah. Okay. Holy shit.

Holy shit. Scorn for life! Everything's fine. Just go to the beach for a bit. Yeah, don't show up as his dad and ship him away. It doesn't work out well, I promise. Oh wow. I don't know, how do we convey this message?

It's up to you. You want me to go? You're with kids, I imagine. I do, kids really like me. Everyone likes you. You're lovable. Thanks, Nott. Don't you think so, Fjord?

Mm-hmm. But like, really? Stop it. Okay. Let's do stop. That's too late. Wait. Okay, so I should go find... Yeah, yeah, that is. I should go find Opaeda, and I'm going to say what?

You're going to say, I have a message from Veth. She wants you to go far away where it's safe, to Alfield, use the money she gave you. Men will be here tomorrow to escort you. There's men coming? We're going to hire somebody, I don't know. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay. Jeff's friend. Yeah, okay. Okay, I'll go find old Edith. Okay, you find your way to the exterior of Edith's house. Jeffman and Joffrey. Jeff's friend. Go ahead and,

a few moments pass, door opens. Hi, can I help you? Hi, Edith. Yeah? Hello. Hello. You may remember me from the other night I was outside. I'm a friend of Veth. Right, right, yes!

Can I help you? Yes, she, of course, had to be on her way, because things are hard right now, but she wanted to convey her desire for you and Lucas. Lucas? Luke. Luke to find your way to Alfield. Awesome.

Why are we heading to Alfield? Because she doesn't think it is safe for you to be here right now. Now, Alfield is very safe, and there's a wonderful person there named Bryce, who we've already sent word to, because we're pretty powerful, and they'll be expecting you. She said to use the money that she gave you to, you know, head there and get a place to stay and, you know, use it for food, buy yourself something nice, you know?

Oh, okay. How long are we supposed to be staying? As long as it takes because, you know, it's pretty dangerous still, but we will be able to send word to you and let you know when it's safe to come home, which is good. Okay, okay. And you should, you know, get your stuff together

because tomorrow somebody will be here to escort you to the city. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Is there anything else I can do for you, Edith? Best customer service I have. Yep. Does Offield,

do they have, I've never been to Offield. Oh yes. So I'm just wondering. Never mind. Well, no, it's a little. She just turns around. Okay.

That was amazing. Bryce will be looking for you. Bryce, got it. Yes. She turns back, look at this. Thank you. Oh, got it. Yes. She turns back, and look at us. Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. Have a wonderful day.

You too. Would you like to take a survey? And tell me how my survey is on all of your questions? We need to take five minutes of your time. Is it okay that I recorded our conversation? You need to hang up, because I can't technically hang up on this call.

All righty, and you guys go and search for... Jeff. Jeff's friends. Go back to Dimi's place, Dimi Lovato, not Dimi Lavad, Dimi Larick. Derelict. You find Jeff there, and as soon as you walk into the door, Demi's off to the side reading a,

what looks to be a small, leather-bound journal of some kind. She's out there reading or making notes, and looks up and goes, Hi? Look over at Demi's shoulder. What is she looking at? What is she writing? No, she pulls a bag. Oh, hey.

Dimi, to interrupt, I just feel sensual in some ways. Tusk love? No? Anyway. Weird opener. Weird opener. What a touch of pickaxe for that chug while you're using. Hey, Jeff, your friends, they used to have.

You look over to Jeff, and he's like, Oh no. Don't tap my shoulder again. I promise I won't touch you. Your friends, they used to said were helping you that fared out better than you did? Yeah, what about them? Are they a little over their job?

You think they might want to take a little walkabout? I mean, they can't abandon their boats. No. What are you asking? Fucking AWOL. Cool, cool. Do you know any? people, mercenaries, friends who are semi-trustworthy?

What for? I need an escort. I need an escort to take a couple people down to Hallfield. To Hallfield? Yeah. That's easy. Okay. Okay, my friends could probably do that. It's just Hall Field and back.

They could say it's under business. Yeah. Does that mean that the taxpayers pay for it and we don't have to, is it like a moment, like a matter of state security? No, you still have to pay them. This is under the table, technically. Mm, mm, that's what I would say.

All right, cool, where do I find them? Hold on. He sits up and stands up slowly. I try and, and then me. And the two of you limp down to one of the tiny little seedy bars that doesn't even have a name on the front.

You know, you don't have to guide me, you can just. I'm going to put it out there, you don't have a trustworthy face, they're not going to talk to you. I need to introduce you. All right, all right. You want to piggy to you. I need to introduce you. All right, all right. You want to piggyback ride?

Don't you touch me. All right. You want a walking stick? I got my staff. I'll take that. All right. Anyway, you guys make your way in. It's got a bow on it. It's got a bow. Yeah, it still has the vote.

There's a handful of folks here. You see three very, very, very old farmer types that probably this is their retirement, this coming here every day and complaining and drinking themselves to their earlier grave, you do see two crownsguard that are having what looks to be just working their way slowly through an ale and just chatting to each other. As he walks in,

Hey! Like, oh, what's up? Hey, buddy, you're walking around, that's great. He's like, yeah, I got a job for you. What's your name again? Beau. Beau, this is Jordan and Jay. They're going to go ahead and help you out with this. How much you paying?

Oh my god. Not how much are we paying. Whatever it fucking takes. Um, not. How much are we paying? Whatever it fucking takes! All your money. Yes, absolutely. It's to Alfield and back. You're just watching your, it's an escort. What's the average running cost for an escort?

You see the gentleman chooses, Jordan goes, well, to and from Alfield, that's a number of days travel, including night camping costs, food and board, staying there in Alfield. I'd say for each of us, round trip puts you to about 35 gold pieces. That's close.

You have a baby? I don't really to go home. Total. I'll give you 80, 40 apiece. You can split between the two of you. Extra five gold, make sure you actually give a fuck about this job. You're a hard negotiator, I respect that.

It's a deal. Am I? Yeah, fuck yeah, man. Seriously, don't fuck this up. Okay. I will fucking kill you if you fuck it up. Where did you meet this woman? He's just like, she's been this way, but she pays well, apparently, and I want to help you guys out.

I'm going to go lay back down. See you. So it's making its way back with your stick. Okay, you got to be at Old Elith's place tonight with a cart, maybe bring some sleeping bags, some extra food. Where are we meeting? I missed the deal, who are we escorting?

Old Elith. He is? Yeah, and Luc. Kid, the kid. To Bryce. To Bryce. In Allfield. All right, all right, I got it, I got it.

All right, no worries. We got you taken care of. We got you taken care of. We're good. Just going to finish our drinks and we'll start getting our stuff together. No drinks. What'd you say? What'd you say? We're just going to finish our drinks and we'll start getting our stuff together. No drinks.

What'd you say? What'd you say? I'm just a pigeon, what do you want? You're just coming. You're not even saying anything. You're just a pigeon. It's just atmosphere. Jeff has made his way partially back

to Demi's place with your staff. Great. I'll get your staff back. Give me my fucking staff! Oh, jeez, okay. Before he blows. Hands it over. I pop it.

I do flick him in one of his burns, though, again. Just because. Oh, what is wrong with you? You're a good guy, Jeff. That's how I show affection. I don't like you. And then I walk off. Okay, and he goes and makes his way back.

Oh god. All right, well, you've hired some Crownsguards under the table to go ahead and keep an eye and escort Edith and Luc over to Alfield to meet with Bryce, where they're going to take care of them to some degree. Okay, so what do we do? Yes, what do you do?

Do we go in the tunnels? You want to go to the tunnels? Okay. Well, I imagine the same guards will be out there again. Are we just going to plunge on in and try to? Do we see any of the elven folk of the two that we have been talking about while we're walking around?

Make a perception check. Do you want advantage on that, or do you want me to join you? You do it as well. All right. Trying to be good about this. That's a 17. 17, Fjord? That's a one.

There's a bit. You do it as well. Two. You like turning. Your head turns to the left and you're like, where are those, that cloud looks like an eagle. Come on. You, Caduceus, do a pretty fair look around.

You do not recognize anyone that resembles the figures in question. Oh well, all right. There are elves around, maybe two or three since you've come here. Not with a 10 tense gravitas. Right, well, there aren't many elves in Felderwin. Most of the Empire elves are further northward

in the Zemunni fields. You've seen a few, a handful, maybe half elves, but none of the type that you're looking for. So not the elves you're looking for. Need the hair. Can I also, just for blanket statement, I take my gold and I parcel it out and put it in different pockets ever since Hepperduke.

Okay, would you like to buy more pockets? Or pouches? Buy more pockets. I mean, unless you're walking around like Rob Liefeld character. Is this a Liefeld comic? We live in a Liefeld universe where it was as you're born, you just accumulate pockets. Yeah, and you just grow more and more teeth. All the way down the ankle, yeah.

Sure. And your feet just vanish. I will Liefeld floatat to the nearest general store and pick up a few extra pockets. Wow. All right, we're here to buy some pockets. We did it. I'm so sorry, I'm all out. We just won Dungeons & Dragons, guys.

We just won. It's another day. Easy enough. You head over to the Felderwin General, This one. Easy enough. You head over to the Felderwin General, handled by Dupont Briggsman, this young dwarven salesman. Tan skin, light brown hair, bit of a chin beard.

Are you looking for pockets, you said? Mm-hmm. What kind of pockets you got? I've got belt pouches, I've got money belts, if that's what you're looking for. Oh, yeah. Do you have one of those where it goes around your neck, but tucks in on the inside of your shirt?

Like the tourists wear? I've got something that you could probably affix that would be similar, maybe? I'll get one of those, and I'll get one of the money belts. Anybody else want a money belt? Stocking up on money belts. What? Money belts!

You brought us here for money belts. My husband is being kidnapped by Krik terrorists. Honestly, I thought it was just going to be a little quick thing and he was going to be like, for brevity's sake, like he does, but he didn't. Nope. This is the whole scene. Tim here.

I just want pockets. So just the two? Sure. So pretty. Yeah. Say eight silver. Done. All right, there you go. Passes it over.

Okay, let's go. Let's head to the tunnel, and if that doesn't pan out, we'll just start heading north. Make a sleight of hand check. Fuck you. If that doesn't pan out, we'll just start heading north. Make a sleight of hand check. Fuck you. 16. Arrested.

He is happily picking out and handing over belt pouches as you completely disorganize his probably very carefully and intentionally placed system. Well done. Thanks. And he packs in the ankle strap section. Off to the tunnels! Tuttles! Tuttles! Sends a faint smile over your shoulder.

Secret tunnel. Secret tunnel. All right, making your way. Any guards around there? Oh yes. You see each tunnel has somewhere in the neighborhood of five to six guards stationed to each. Some of them are just sitting down.

You can see bored with their posting. They've been told to keep watch, but not a whole lot's happening until you guys approach. You're heading towards the center tunnel, which is the one that already has the fairly deep dig, and as you approach, the guards all stand up. Some of them are holding spears and use them to get to their feet, and they look over in your direction.

These are not the same guards you spoke to last night. Fjord, Caduceus, any ideas on how to get our cart down into the tunnel? Wheel it. Our cart? But to get past the guards? We honestly just first have to even see if it's possible to get in there. Then we'll be lucky if we can proceed.

I don't think we can take the cart with us. The width of the tunnel as it is, the cart's going to be a very tight fit, let alone getting two horses to pull it for you underground. I have a funny feeling that this is less of a we can walk all the way to Albuquerque as more as there's possibly something down there or they're still in there.

It's just a little bit of a... It's been weeks. They're not down there. They're probably pretty close to that. I don't think they've been moving the whole time. It's worth just checking the box. Perhaps it connects to a larger cave system that they used, we don't know, but the cart cannot come.

The easiest way to check is for Sari, Jester, to go look. I'll go look. If we can get down there. Or... Hey, so we were here yesterday. They all look at each other, one of them looks to probably have a little more authority, or has probably been assigned to be the head of the rest of the Crown's Guard. Steps forward and goes, Yeah, what of it?

We're part of a research expedition. We were here and we were hoping we could toss you a little bit of coin and just check out this area here a bit. We pinged something in the center cave and we just needed to reconvene before we came back to take a look at it. And by whose guidance are you assigned to do this? Cobalt Soul, Beauregard. Been taking notes.

From Zadash. They've signed authority. Yeah, it's called this belt and these vestiges on my fucking body. Shit. You make a deception check, you make an intimidation check. You just pointed to two orange pockets.

Maiden Veldorin. 24. 15. Ooh. You said intimidation, right? Yes. Yeah. The guy looks at both of you, and his chest-puffed moment of bravado begins to slowly deflate and goes,

Right, okay. Well, what are you looking to do? You just inspecting? It's very boring, actually, yeah. Quite tedious. We use little picks and little brushes and we cover little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't really.

You take a while and then you brush it and spit on it. Did you want to join? No. It's really quite relaxing. Actually, my friend over here can attest to it. I actually feel he'll keep talking like this if we don't get him to work. I don't know how to really.

Just do your thing. I'm on you. He steps aside. The other guards are eyeing you close. They still have a job to do. They don't trust you implicitly, but at least they're stepping out of your path to let you go about with business you're intending to. So we can get down to the barrier where it stops being clear?

You can climb down, because it starts off pretty. Where's the cart being left? Or are you bringing it down with you? It's staying at the inn for the time being. Okay. So the cart has been set at the inn, then? Are you pre-purchasing board for it? Yes. Sure. Yeah, I will cover the cost of that.

It can stay there as long as you're renting rooms there, but if you just want it to be kept there, it's a little bit cheaper, but you still have to pay in advance for how long you intend to leave it there for storage. We don't really know what this is going to look like yet. No. Two weeks. Three.

Deal. 16 days. Oh my god. Excuse me, how much would it cost to house our cart here for a month? Right, so going back and talking to Simone Deepwell. He's like, all right, so three weeks, you're saying? A month.

A month, a month, okay. Just the cart and the horse, right. All right, so we'll go ahead and talk to Paps about holding the horse. We can go to store. Whatever it costs. Oh, okay. Well, for board on that,

that's going to run about three silver a night. We'll see if 30 nights would be... Done. There you go. We kill him. That's 90 sil, so nine gold pieces for the month. Not a problem, here you are. One. Two.

I'll take care of it. I've already handed it over. Ah, it's like being at the DMV. All right. All right. So back into the point. You guys make yourselves down into the tunnel. Three guards do follow behind in a distance,

just keeping an eye on what you're doing. Who's going in? We're all going in. We're all going in. No, but who's going past? Me. Are you going to be all right? Yeah. She's super strong.

Sure, and I will stay super strong as I get down there and polymorph myself. Oh shit, into? Like a mole? Or like a gopher? Maybe like a gopher. What's big? Like a tiny gopher?

I guess like, you know what burrows that's bigger? Is like a gopher. What's big? Like a tiny gopher? I guess like, you know what burrows that's bigger? Is like a honey badger. Oh yeah. A honey badger. They burrow and they're stronger, too. Okay, hold on here. Wait a minute. So you make people bigger?

For a brief period of time, yeah. Like, can you make a honey badger bigger? Yeah, for a minute. So. The size of a dog. So a challenge rating of, a beast of any challenge rating that is equal to or less than the target.

So it can be a CR seven or lower. Liam Las Vegas is a typical. I'm pretty sure a honey badger. Actually, technically, because as you guys rested for the evening, you've completed your journey here and you've begun this next venture, technically for the night you guys would hit level eight. What? What? This is a heads up.

Oh jeez. Not yet. So we'll deal with that shortly. Yeah. We'll deal with that shortly, but for the time being, so a CR eight or smaller beast. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Where would I find that on D&D Beyond?

Creatures. You go to monsters. Then you would choose beast. All the way to the right, creatures. Oh, wow. Then for the CR range, you would put from, I'd say for safety, like one to eight. Where are you finding it? No, you're right, there's not really anywhere to look.

Wait, wait, wait. I don't see creatures. Creatures is over here, so actions, blah, blah, blah. Oh, you. Tap it and then search. Just start typing in a name. Funny budget did dot com up. Welcome to the world of the druid. Oh my god.

Then use Google. Oh my gosh, why? This is too complicated. Oh, you got lost in the- I got lost in the nervous. This won't be a problem when I'm the president. For a badger, a honey badger? You can't just- Or like a beast. This won't be a problem when I'm the president. Mm. For a badger, a honey badger? You can't just, I think if you go to the top

and search like, CR 8. Look up level eight. Yeah. Look up something like levels one to eight. Elephant, ape, giant constrictor snake, giant elk. But I need something that burrows. Be an elk. Don't be an elk.

Be an elk and kill all these fucking soldiers. Constrictor snake shit. Sturges can't shoot. So majestic. You're the canoen panther, we shark. Out in the wild. So proud. I feel like I can do any of these. You know what?

Laura, make an intelligence check. Oh god, oh. You need to bring your, yeah. As high as challenge rating one. Oh! Oh, I rolled pretty, I think I. So high. Hold on, I got to get back to my character.

You rolled really well, though. I did, I rolled pretty good. Hit the view button, yeah, there you go. Hit the view button, Laura. I get lost in here, so I feel it. Okay, plus, so 16. I rolled well, but my intelligence is pretty lame. Okay.

There are beasts in the wild, there are wolves, there are cats, there are bears. You've run across a number of these, of larger versions of these, more dangerous and ominous ones. Like when you were in the Savalirwood briefly, you came across a few dire wolves. Ooh.

Use your creative mind on what other possible dire creatures might exist. Like a dire badger? You can try it. Okay, I'm going to be a dire honey badger! Whether or not one exists, the creative imagination of Jester creates a polymorph form as you watch her body The creative imagination of Jester

creates a polymorph form as you watch her body expand and extend into what looks to be a massive honey badger, maybe six feet from nose to tail tip. Fuck yeah. With a series of bony protrusions that run down its back, like two spines, large teeth and claws that definitely arc and curve outward about five, six inches beyond the center of the paw,

unretracted. Unretracted. He watches the guards take a step back, like, uh! It's all normal down here, how are you? I turn back and I go. How long does that last? That lasts for an hour?

Yeah. All right. Can I talk as an Unpolymorph? No. No, you are a dire honey badger. Ah! Dig! I'm digging! That's what honey badger. Dig! I'm digging! That's what I'm doing! That's what I'm doing! All right, I will say... Let's go ahead and make an athletics check for me.

Adding what would be the honey badger's strength, a dire honey badger, I'll say plus three. So just roll a d20, add plus three. Oh, it was so close! Yeah, it did. Eight. Eight, so it's going to take you a good period of time here of you carving through

and taking the break. I'm going to cast Bless on the honey badger. Sure. Just to see if that will help. Okay. All right. So I'm going to Bless the Honey Badger. What, do I add plus a d4?

You would have had to cast it in advance, but I'll say in Watch This Head, and the Blessing only lasts a minute, but for that time period, you get a little further, and we'll say you start getting more and more exhausted, and more and more exhausted, and then you reach a certain point where the spell expires and your form reverts to a very, very sweaty, exhausted Jester.

You've carved quite a way. You've pushed probably an additional, in the past hour, oh man, another 100 or so feet into the tunnel. Cast it again! I can't! This is a really high level. Oh wait, do I get another level four at level eight? I don't know.

I'm going to go check right now for you. Oh my god. I'm going to start tapping on the walls of that tunnel. Well, no, that tunnel's really thin. At level eight, you get a second fourth-level spot. I have another fourth-level spell, you guys. I can do it again. Do it again! It's a bad thing.

Back into your dire honey badger form. God bless. Go ahead and make another athletics check. Add plus three, plus a d4. Fuck me. Do the green one. Get us to the Underdark, Laura. Just do whatever. Take us to the Underdark, Laura. Just do whatever. Take us to the Underdark.

Gil! Gil fucked me. Oh! Add your plus four. Your d4. I mean, okay, well, at least that's 10. 10, okay. He fucked me.

He fucked me. Oh man. Anyway. Oh man. Gil! All right. You push on for the next 40 or 50 or so minutes, getting an additional 70, 80 feet,

before eventually one of your paws goes through. You carve through, and you reach the other side of this collapsed tunnel. And we all instantly die. Yeah, right? As the Molten Lord, no, I'm kidding. No!

Minecraft, Minecraft! We've all made these mistakes, Allison. No! Never let go. Take pic-pic. Print it, print it! As soon as I make a hole, I'll turn back into myself.

Okay. And peek through. Make a perception check. Do I still have Bless? No, they don't ask for Bless. No. 14. 14.

As you look past, there's no light source in there, and the hole is only large enough for you to fit your torso through as you glance in, but in the distance, you can see. What is the distance on your darkvision? 60 feet? Yes. Pretty sure it's 60 feet.

It's pretty standard 60 feet for. Darkvision CCB, yes. Gotcha. The tunnel widens, and what looks to be drops off, like a cliff. You hear a very, very faint sound. It sounds like running water.

Oh my gosh. Is everybody with me? They're behind you, yeah. You guys, I think there's a river down here. They didn't just burrow from Xhorhas, they floated. Yeah, that's how they do it so quickly or whatever. I wonder where this underwater system goes. Yeah, they all float down here.

I know. Don't want to run into that sea air creature. It's like a stream. Oh, we're not there yet. You're not there. We haven't seen anything yet. Okay, never mind. Can you send some light down there?

I don't know where we are yet. You guys are all back in the tunnel. It's been dug through, and then all of a sudden, Jester creates a small hole and then plugs it with herself. You just see the back of Jester, halfway stuck, almost like Winnie the Pooh, trying to exit the domicile. She'd have to flip around and come back, I suppose.

Yeah, I pull my head back out and. Or you can go check it out by yourself and see what it is. What am I? Who do you think I am? We don't send the, Caleb, go look. Do not send the cleric into the pit of the unknown. Oh, this new item.

The ball? Yeah. You'll break it. You'll break it. Just send some dancing knights. Just send some dancing knights in there. I know, I just was curious about my new, okay. Okay, the globes appear. Did you guys take, by the way, just so I remember, did you guys take the gray vial

with you, or did you leave it behind? No, we took it. Yeah, and the trepid. Gotcha, cool. We have all the dumb shit we should have. Before we move on, just want to make sure. Didn't identify it, though, did we? So as the globes appear,

are you on the other side of the chamber? He went in. Did you go through the hole? The hole that was dug by our honey badger? Correct. Yeah. All right, you step through and boom, boom, boom, the orbs appear, and it illuminates the chamber.

And it is a chamber. What you've stepped into appears to be a subterranean cavern. About 30, 40 feet ahead of you, it drops off and looks about 10 feet, 10-foot drop before it hits another straightaway. As it curves to the left, you can see,

and you can already smell the minerals and hard water smell at the interior of this chamber. You glance over the side and let the orbs drift a little further, and you can see what looks to be a river. It's an underground river, and it seems to have carved its way through this lower portion of the chamber. looks to be a river. It's an underground river, and it seems to have carved its way

through this lower portion of the chamber. It vanishes further below into... At this point, can I tell if we're walking into any bullshit? Make a perception check. Yeah, okay. Real bad. Nine. Coast looks clear.

Okay, good. Nine. But you also notice Okay, good. Nine. But you also notice, as the orbs move through, there are almost crystal-like, I want to say quartz crystals that jut from certain portions of the ceiling and where elements of various... I always remember something like stalactites.

Yes. There you go. I've taught myself that a million times since I was a kid, and I always transpose it. A lot of seconds. And I'm like, oh, I never write. Stalactites that come down quite a bit from what looks to be about a 15-foot high ceiling from where you're standing

that almost reach the floor where you are, but over this point where it hangs or ends and goes further below. Do you send the orbs out further? No, I'm going to pull them back to me and lose three of them and pull out that rag that I carry around and cover so that it's even dimmer.

And my transmutation stone is set so that I can see dim light. Okay. I'm going to be the last one. Who's the last one going through the tunnel before we head over? Are y'all going through? Yeah, who wants to walk with me? As you're doing this, the one guard who's just, Oh, hey.

So yeah, we've just gotten access to just a small pocket that we're just going to check out, make sure everything's safe and appropriate. We'll have a full report once we finish taking a look inside, and we'll be delivering it. But in the meantime, let's just not cause any undue panic, and we'll let you know, we'll make some noise if anything dangerous is down there.

You still could not be safe. You're welcome to come, but I'm not sure if it's going to be, I can't guarantee any safety beyond this point. Make a deception check. Is that deception? All right. It's writing a line. I'll allow persuasion.

Okay, thank you. Only because you're being vague enough with it that you're riding the line. Okay, that's a 20. He goes, Okay, I guess just give us a holler if something goes down. Thank you, sir.

I appreciate everything that you do. Give a loud holler. If things go real. We're going to probably scoot back. This is a bit creepy. If things go real wrong, you'll definitely hear us. Okay. Sorry I tripped, my fault.

Not my fault, it's him. I'll make sure that he's quiet because we don't mind losing him. Well, good luck. I appreciate that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Turns around, other guards start leaving,

and you hear this very faint echoing voice go, you're fucking crazy. Crazy like a badger! It's funny. I'm into it. So you guys make your way through the tunnel and join Caleb. Mm-hmm.

As you all step into the interior, you can also take in that smell of long, sealed underground water, hearing the rushing of the small river. You can see where the path continues on, and with the dim glow and the darkvision where it curves forward, you can see what looks to be the faint natural arch that looks to be a continuation

of the tunnel. Out of curiosity, those crystals feel utterly natural, right? This just feels like those were not, like everything was. Make a nature check. Do we have anything to float on? A boat, maybe? Seven. on? A boat or anything? Seven. Seven?

A boat? Well, I don't know. Probably? Yeah. We love that. We could run us. I have this boat dagger I throw in the water. I don't know what I'm going to do. Thinking about detecting that. Fuck yes.

Just before we move on, is anyone bothered by these crystals? Do you hear anything? Do you see any kind of traps left behind? Which is surprising to say. Traps? On the ceiling? Sure, I'll look on the ceiling for traps.

Make a perception check. It's difficult because we don't really understand how that worked. Investigation? This is perception because you're looking at things in the distance as opposed to carefully checking. 17. Our element's at the floor.

17, it does not appear to be trapped. All right, looks okay. We're just, let's all prepare to be a little confused by whatever we find. We're going to be way out of our element. Dead men tell no tales. Should I cast Pass the Lit to chase all those and stuff? There's nothing to hide from.

Yeah, there's nobody down here, but uh. You need your spells for all the things. If we start to hear something. Feels like there's always things to hide from. I don't know. Except now. Okay. I cast Pass the Lit to chase on him. Thank you. Guys!

There's no one I would rather go rescue my husband with. Did you all get a honeymoon? No, we never did. On the way back, great road trip. You're right. With seven of your other best friends. You're right, we always talked about going to Tal'Dorei.

For a honeymoon. Never happened. We were saving. I heard Whitestone's really nice. Especially in the spring. Torist trap. From everything I read, Gordranas is mysterious and exotic, so let's press on.

I'm going to start walking forward. Let's go. All right, as you guys begin to step forward into the darkened subterranean shadows of this newly discovered tunnel system, and wherever it will lead you eastward. We're going to go ahead and end tonight's episode there. Andada!

Andada! Andada! We are going to have to take a break of a long rest, because I want my fourth-level spells back, guys. What are you talking about? You just used two to beat a badger twice. We're going to take a little rest. We're moving, but we're going to obviously have to sleep. We're going to Xhorhas to do our fight.

We're looking around the corner. Slow your roll. Oh, around the corner, it's a thousand miles away! You don't know it. You don't know it? We might find a portal down here. You don't know what's there. We might have a little mini base.

What are we doing? A tiny subterranean boat filled with gummy bears. Ooh, should we roll for level eight? Yes, you should. Oh! What do we doing? A tiny subterranean boat filled with gummy bears. Ooh, should we roll for level eight? Yes, you should. Oh! What do we do? What are we doing at 88? How do we do this?

Makes me nervous. 88, I think. Level up. When I'm president, they'll just level up for you. That's right out of my Dungeons & Dragons experience. How did you do this? You just go, it's over, no, no, no, go back to your character page.

Well, no, you take a d8 dice, Sam. You've played this game for... Ah! Damn it! Yeah, we're just trying to find it on the... Self-fulfilling prophecy. What'd you roll? I rolled a one. You re-roll one. You re-roll one.

Re-roll one. Yeah, but I got a six. There you go, that's better. Yeah! Plus two levels. And then you go up to level eight. I have a hog now. Plus your constitution.

And then you go to manage HP. Six plus, yeah, okay. Okay, here we go. Manage HP. What is it, a D plus anything? Six. Three. Plus.

I have three. Seven hit points, I am invincible. Seven! I roll a d8, apparently. Nice. Yeah. Six. Damn, six, six, six. Oh. Hell, sorry, sorry.

Where did I put that? Override. Modifier? No, you put it in, you add six to your rolled HP. It's six plus your constitution modifier, but when you level up, it should add that automatically in D&D Beyond. Not constitution modifier, it auto-rides. Yeah, so you just add the number you rolled.

Oh yeah. Ooh, ability score improvement. Yeah, you guys get to choose to either add plus two to one of your ability scores. Or a feat! Or plus one to two different scores, or choose a feat. Holy moly! I've got to look at this shit. This will give you a week to consider.

You don't have to consider it right now. Oh my god. I'm already going for it. What are you going for? I'm doubling the range of my spellcasting. You can do that? Yep. All spells?

Spell sniper, man. Spell sniper. That's pretty sick. Rogues, man. I want to be able to heal from a great distance. He's healing at distance. Ooh, I can infuse my weapons with poison! Yeah, your media attacks do additional poison damage.

There's so much I can do. There's so much I can do. When you cast a spell that requires you to make an attack roll, the spell's range is doubled. Your ranged spell attacks ignore half cover and three-quarter cover. You learn one cantrip that requires an attack roll. Choose the cantrip from the Cleric or Druid spell list. Your spellcasting ability from this cantrip is wisdom. It does not help your healing distance, unfortunately. Oh, really? It's an attack spell.

Oh, that may change my decision then. Spells that have an attack roll, that's the key. So like Guiding Bolt, you double your range, but it doesn't affect your healing. So like Bane or Blast, it doesn't help. Correct. Okay, that changes things. By the way, we've all agreed, no one this whole campaign is taking lucky, right?

I know not yet. I'm literally taking it twice already. No, you're not. No. All right, I'm going to have to, I had options, but I don't remember what they are off the top of my head, so. No one gets luck?

It's the worst fucking feat. But it's the best. No one gets lucky? It's the worst fucking feat. It breaks the game, it's the worst. It's the feat of one shot. No one doing lucky. I'm decreeing, only if you're elected president. It doesn't break the game, it's just slightly OP. You are not even the president-elect yet.

I need to see more speeches before I know where my vote's going. We'll see who runs against me. Free vending machine in the lobby. Ooh! And I vote for you. Are you running against him and you're going to give that? Or the vending machine is running against him.

No, I'm not. No, I am not. We'll see what people say. I'm just saying, I'm in. Anyway, you guys have a week to decide. Put some thought to it. And for the rest of us, thank you for tuning in for this emotional rollercoaster

of a fucking episode. We'll see you soon enough. Until then, have a wonderful week. We love you, and is it Thursday yet? Cheers. Good night, guys. Oh, hey. Ashley Johnson here,

and I sure do hope you're enjoying the adventure. Remember when you first found out about Critical Role? Was it through a friend or a family member or maybe even through the words of a stranger in the review section of our podcast? Many listeners find our show through word of mouth and recommendations. So please consider rating and reviewing our podcast, because each review makes an impression that may just inspire someone new to give our show a try and that more than anything helps to support us

thank you for joining us on this adventure and until next time let us try to leave the world a little better than we found it